#teresa rambles

[hrokkall]

I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the iron's point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God.

[claremikas]

One scene in Claymore I really love is when the gathered warriors in Pieta start arguing amongst each other because it showcases just how much of their lives are spent in isolation.

They can't even hold simple conversations without a fight breaking out between them. Hell, Helen says that it's tough when hunting parties for awakened beings are formed (consisting of 4 warriors). And she herself isn't an exception with how she isolated Clare when they first met because she saw her as weak and a liability.

But that isolation by the organization is intentional. Connections between each other is what makes them "human" and less powerful in their eyes. We've seen it time and time again, with Clare and Teresa, Clare and Jean, Clare and Raki, Isley with Raki and Priscilla, Miria and all of the warriors who overthrew the organization, Clarice and Miata, even Alicia and Beth cared deeply for each other in spite of the organizations brainwashing... In some of these cases the connections is what kept them alive, but also human. But as Rafutera said not being able to understand the fact that their "experiments" had human hearts was ultimately the downfall of the men who led the organization.

[nivalingreenhow]

Here is my unnecessarily long deep dive into the Claymore timeline, which is just a way to try and figure out how old they all are.

first, is the tl;dr bullet points (more explanation under the cut)

Male era lasts for maybe a few years, but maybe less, as Riful is a warrior before Isley, Dauf, or Rigaldo awaken.

There is an undetermined amount of time before Teresa’s era, but it is likely a long time, given how many Number ones happened during that time (four of them during this time were stronger than the Abyssal ones, implying the existence of many others who were not as powerful)

Cassandra and Roxanne happened before Luciela, but we can’t know how long before

Luciela and Hysteria were likely back to back since Teresa was a trainee when Luciela awakened and a new warrior when Hysteria goes out.

Rosemary is only Number 1 for a short time, quicky overtaken by Teresa.

Teresa is Number 1 for a long time, maybe even a decade. She is well known among other warriors, even after her time. She is very familiar with Irene, suggesting they were trainees together. Both seem ‘older’ than other warriors in terms of maturity and introspection

The time between Teresa’s death and the start of the manga is about 5-6 years, based on Clare’s physical appearance.

This means Irene is a milf by the end of the manga

The era a male claymore probably didn’t last very long, given their limitations with awakening too soon. We see that Riful comes along before Isley, Rigaldo, and Dauf have awakened. There is not necessarily anything to actually support this, but I feel like she awakened rather quickly, too. She just seems to be the type to not ever hold back.

After this, we have a handful of number ones that have somewhat of a history in canon, however, we are not given their exact order unless we go in the order they’re introduced by the Organization. We have the names Licht, Chloe, Sistina, and Lutecia. We know there are more Number ones than this, as these are mentioned as specifically being more powerful than the three Abyssal Ones. We can assume these four came before the next set, which we do have some sort of timeline we can follow.

We know Cassandra comes before Roxanne, and we know they both come before Hysteria because Hysteria and Teresa overlap. We can also assume that Luciela came before Hysteria since Luciela awakened when Teresa was still a trainee, but Hysteria was killed when Teresa was a full warrior. What we can infer from this is that Hysteria was No. 1 for several years. Teresa appears to be about 11 or so when she encounters Rafaela after Luciela awakens, though we do not know how long this is after Luciela awakened. Teresa is a fully fledged warrior once she encounters Hysteria, implying several years have passed. Time in the manga is…blurred, but it is mentioned (if not necessarily shown) that training takes years and years before warriors are actually let out on their own.

I also have the personal HC that Irene was a trainee at the same time as Teresa, but did not immediately get a single digit rank. I like to think she actually had difficulty with control at first, which led to her signature technique. She over compensated, and as such, was able to keep the tightest control over her yoki. It’s made very clear that Teresa does NOT have relationships with other warriors, that she does not socialize with them or get to know them. However, she is very familiar with Irene, suggesting they have some sort of history, however you want to read it. Irene also knows so much about her which could be because of two reasons. One: Irene is obsessed with/in love with Teresa or two: Irene makes it a point to know everything she possibly can about her opponents and her teammates so she can assess their strengths and weaknesses and formulate the best plan possible. I personally think it’s a combination of both. When she speaks with Clare, she has clearly thought a LOT about Teresa’s emotional wellbeing outside of just her tactical abilities. In turn, when Teresa awakens through Clare, she recognizes Irene’s arm immediately. Regardless of what their relationship was, I would argue that after Clare, Irene may have been the person who knew Teresa the best. If Priscilla had followed directions, Irene’s plan to kill Teresa would have worked. (Sorry, that became a tangent lol, but it is meant to explain my reasoning for thinking Irene and Teresa were in training together).

Rosemary is only number one for a hot second before Teresa surpasses her. This could have even been just a matter of weeks or months. We can assume she awakened and sent her black card to Teresa soon after.

Now, translations have Teresa listed as the 182nd Claymore of the 77th generation in the Organization, however, I’ve seen some argument that this translation is not entirely accurate and could just be a date or time stamp. It does seem unlikely that there have been 77 generations of Claymore. Despite this, I believe Teresa was Number 1 for a long time. Maybe a decade. It seems that at her time, the top warriors are rather stable, with Irene being well known in her position, and Noel and Sophia being very familiar with each other, as well. Sophia states it’s been a while since she’s seen Irene. They’re all shocked when Priscilla comes along and shakes up the ranking, implying that those ranks have stood for some time. Teresa gives off the vibe of someone who has been stuck or a while, who is going through the motions, who is very comfortable (in a bad way) in what she’s doing. Irene, as well. Both their techniques allow them to keep on when other warriors may have awakened. Teresa doesn’t use her yoki at all outside of fighting Rosemary and Priscilla. This means she is more than likely never going to reach her limit. Irene has become exceptional at controlling her yoki, arguably better than any other warrior. The two of them could have been warriors indefinitely. Teresa also remarks it’s been a while since she’s seen Irene. She doesn’t give an indication that she has any such recognition of the others.

We all know what happens next and we DON’T need to talk about it.

Anyway, the next Number One is likely Alicia. I doubt there was anyone else who would be promoted above them. With the loss of the top five warriors all at once, the Organization would have been forced to take drastic measures. As a Number 5, Elda would not have been suited for Number 1, but it seems she was likely promoted as Rafaela takes the Number 5 spot. At this time, Clare is also around 11 or 12, and as a warrior, she looks to be more in her late teens. The time between Teresa’s death and the start of the Manga is likely 5 or 6 years. Claymore don’t age, but it does seem like they continue to mature until they are adults, as both Teresa and Clare are shown as children even after going through the operation but are also shown as mature adults later.  

After this point, we have a much more definitive timeline, so there isn’t much need to go into it. I mainly wanted to do this exercise so I could think about how old Teresa and Irene are during the events of the Manga. I always headcanon that Teresa is around thirty, Irene a little bit younger perhaps, when Priscilla awakens. This would make Irene around 35 more than likely when she encounters Clare again and over forty by the end of the manga. She and Teresa just exude more maturity than a lot of the other warriors, suggesting they are older than the typical late teens/early twenties of most of the other warriors. Others who reach a more mature age would be Rafaela (obviously), who is likely forty or so when she merges with her sister. Galatea probably is around 30 as Sister Latea. She and Miria come off as older than the other Ghosts. I’d say Miria is a similar age. Clare would be around 23/24 after the time skip, with Helen and Deneve being a few years older, but still younger than Miria. Just going off rank and personality, I’d say Cynthia is around the same age as Deneve, while Yuma and Tabitha are closer to Clare’s age, though maybe a bit older. Alicia and Beth are also probably pretty old for warriors. If we assume they were full adults when Priscilla wakens, say 20, then they’d be over 30 after the time skip.

It is very heavily implied that most warriors do not last long, that especially lower ranks get cycled out very quickly as they either reach their limits or are killed in battle. The higher ranks are logically more likely to have greater control of their yoki and greater chances of surviving their assignments. These ranks are likely more stable, leading to single digit warriors being older and wiser. Reading through the manga, it does become clear that Norihiro Yagi plays fast and loose with the canon timeline, so I have tried to go through this in a logical way that makes sense with what we know in canon and what would be the most realistic timeline, ignoring plot holes or inconsistencies. It makes sense that training takes years. Being strong and fast does not mean you are skilled with a sword. Warriors are generally weaker than full yoma, but they have exceptional sword skills that give them the advantage. For context, in medieval times, it took over 7 years of training for someone to become a knight. In Japan, samurai trained for even longer. Yoma blood could have sped up this timeline, but if we combine this knowledge with Clare and Teresa’s physical differences from trainees to warriors, it looks to be at least 5 years, if not longer. Sometimes, there is this feeling in the manga that number one warriors turn over quickly, but logically, they must last for a while typically. I think Yagi got caught up in the story, which is easy to do when writing such a long story over so many years, and lost sight of what a logical progression of warriors would look like. So, I think from Teresa’s rise to number one to the end of the manga was roughly 20-25 years.

Anyway, this was a long unnecessary justification for me to draw Irene as a milf.

Please let me know if you have thoughts, if you agree with my assessment, if you disagree. More than anything, I love looking at this manga and discussing all the missing pieces, trying to make it all fit together.

[risetherivermoon]

Scary this episode 🫶🫶 i love her sm she was such a sweetie and a badass at the same time and i love her for it

i just think that you could see a lot of terri peeking through when she was talking to the rest of the teens and im just very happy about it bc shes growing a whole lot

[snowgloberoundandround]

“How do we work together?”

“Well… we work it out”

Healthy conflict resolution?!???? In MY otp?????

[star--anon]

Minho's skill as a Runner to never give up hope would backfire in the most tragic way possible

Teresa tries to help: the simulations where WCKD allows Minho to escape WCKD only to tear him back to reality produce far less enzymes than regular terror. It wasn't efficient to use those simulations.

and if Teresa can't bear to listen to Minho sob when he wakes up, that's irrelevant

But Minho fights back much, much less when his hopes are continuously crushed. So WCKD continues them.

Each time, Teresa hopes that Minho will stop getting his hopes up. Once he gives up, the simulations become useless, and WCKD will stop.

Each time, he forces himself to believe them.

[drummah-in-a-rocknroll-band]

i’ve been really hyperfixated on psych, the mentalist, and house recently. i think that jane and shawn and jane and house would get along, but house would hate shawn. but of course gus (or juliet), lisbon, and cuddy would get on well :)

[wikipedie]

jisbon and attachment styles and why the pike storyline actually makes a lot of sense despite us hating it*

(* and also why they couldn’t be together until after Red John was dead despite us preferring they were together earlier)

In this post I will talk about attachment styles, Lisbon and Jane’s traumas and the likely reasons that they developed their attachment styles and how they manifest in their relationships, including their relationship with each other. (+ the reason they’re still quite careful with each other in S7 and struggle to be vulnerable with each other) This will be a bit in depth so I ask you to be cautious while reading - do not hesitate to ask for help or support if you can. There is a risk in here, as I will be talking about their traumas (particularly their childhood abuse and neglect) so if it is a potentially sensitive subject for you, proceed with caution (or not at all, I suppose.)

All my thanks go to @chakramchaser, this would not have been possible without you being both willing to ramble with me and continuing the ideas and connecting some excellent dots. I appreciate you.

[Transcript - Discord chat:

wikipe: okay so teresa is disorganized style while patrick is avoidant most likely. Which makes their dynamic fascinating, now that i think about it. Teresa has moments when she’s anxious, but mostly she tends to avoid.

chakramchaser:

ITS WHY IT TAKES LITERALLY A DECADE

CUZ THEY JUST AVOIDDDD

Also the serial killer in the way blah blah ]

For the purposes of this post, I will only talk about the disorganized and the avoidant attachment styles. (https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles/)

Disorgnized Style

The disorganized type tends to show unstable and ambiguous behaviors in their social bonds.

For adults with this style of attachment, the partner and the relationship themselves are often the source of both desire and fear.

Fearful-avoidant people do want intimacy and closeness, but at the same time, experience troubles trusting and depending on others.

They do not regulate their emotions well and avoid strong emotional attachment, due to their fear of getting hurt.

Avoidant Style:

The dismissing / avoidant type would often perceive themselves as ‘lone wolves’: strong, independent, and self-sufficient; not necessarily in terms of physical contact, but rather on an emotional level.

These people have high self-esteem and a positive view of themselves.

The dismissing / avoidant type tend to believe that they don’t have to be in a relationship to feel complete.

They do not want to depend on others, have others depend on them, or seek support and approval in social bonds.

Adults with this attachment style generally avoid emotional closeness. They also tend to hide or suppress their feelings when faced with a potentially emotion-dense situation.

Do these styles sound like some beloved characters we know?

Teresa Lisbon

(Season 7, episode 7 - The Yellow House)

[Transcript - Teresa Lisbon: Somebody had to be responsible.]

A disorganized / fearful-avoidant attachment style develops when the child’s caregivers – the only source of safety – become a source of fear. In adulthood, people with this attachment style are extremely inconsistent in their behavior and have a hard time trusting others.

"Driven to succeed to the point of developing an ulcer, no tolerance for superiors less sharp than yourself, shutting out girls that wanted to hang out with you, blowing off boys that want to get close. All the while, at every turn, wondering 'what is it I really want?' "

I will pull up her past with the help of the Mentalist wikia, since it is quite coherent and well said: 

“Her mother was killed by a drunk driver when she was twelve (Red Badge). In the episode Red Tide, it is implied that she had to take over her mother’s role and care for her family at a young age. In Little Yellow House, Lisbon tells Jane that she had to be the parent to her brothers after the death of her mother. It is implied that her family life was not an easy one even before the death of her mother. Lisbon tells her brother Jimmy that someone in the household had to be responsible because, "You know what Mom and Dad were like." After her mother’s death, her father's drinking either started or worsened and he ended up killing himself. It isn't specified whether he did this accidentally or on purpose. Lisbon said that he “damn near killed me and my brothers too,” leaving both possibilities open. It may have been something like another drunken car accident, or simply neglect. In Red Badge Lisbon mentions that her father used to be violent, as he once beat one of her brothers half to death and didn't remember doing so. Apparently her father suffered blackouts when he drank.“ 

That is a whole load of “source of fear.” She lost the sense of safety pretty early in life and I argue that she no longer knows what safety feels like. On top of the trauma of losing her parents, there is the trauma of parentification that is implied she’s had to do from a very young age, taking care of her brothers to the best of her abilities.

This style shows up in simple ways: She both craves the intimacy of relationships and rejects it, fears it. Stability feels foreign to her.

She breaks off an engagement with Greg, and she does not seem to have any serious stable relationships during her time at CBI. (“You’re too intense and particular for a man like that.” “Whatever happened to that guy from Narcotics?” “Jeff? He bit his nails.” “That’s particular.”)

She is wistful for a good and loving relationship but she doesn’t know how to keep it, runs away at the opportunity.

Through these lenses, the relationship with Pike makes sense: She is tired of waiting for a man who might never actually love her, she finds a good man in Pike, she longs for the stability and beauty that a relationship with him might provide, while also being terrified of it (and longing for Jane, of course). She is absolutely terrified when Pike asks for her hand in marriage. Of course, you could argue that it is sudden, unexpected, too soon and any woman would panic. But I want to bring up the fact that she doesn’t say “No” immediately, though. She wants to make it work, or to think about it. Or to see if Jane would care.  (And I am firmly convinced that she might have said no to the marriage regardless if she left with him to D.C.)

She says “Yes.” But she does it while running away from Jane, who lied to her and manipulated her again and hurt her again. She says Yes to Pike, but doesn’t even listen to what he says afterwards, just looks out at the hotel where she left Jane.

And then, in the end, she leaves Pike too. Pike looks at Jane in Season 7, tells him that he had a life and a family to offer to Teresa, but I think Teresa is just as afraid of them as much as she craves them. She does not know stability, she does not know how to accept to be taken care of or work through the issues of her relationships for most of the show. She also is not sure of what she likes or wants for most of the show. (Even as she seems that she does, burying herself in her work, the only stable thing for her.)

She learns how to do these things slowly in the relationship with Jane. In Season 7 she starts being more vocal about her likes and dislikes, even with minor things (such as randomly saying that she likes s’mores). Opening up also allows her to deepen her connection to her brothers, whom she had avoided as well for most of her life. She shares her struggles, realizes where she was short-sighted and tries to do better about opening up. At the end of Episode 7, she feels comfortable enough to tell Jane that she loves him, too. And at the end, she’s no longer running away. She’s waiting. “What do you need?” “Time.” “Okay, I can give you time.”

Patrick Jane

(Season 7, episode 3 - Orange Blossom Ice Cream)

[Transcript - Erica Flynn: Patrick likes to pretend that he's this lone wolf.]

Parents who are strict and emotionally distant, do not tolerate the expression of feelings, and expect their child to be independent and tough might raise children with an avoidant attachment style. As adults, these children appear confident and self-sufficient. They do not tolerate emotional or physical intimacy and might not be able to build healthy relationships. What’s more, in the workplace, they are often seen as the independent, ‘lone wolf’. It is, however, possible for these individuals to change and develop a secure attachment style.

There is less known about Patrick Jane’s past than about Teresa. Again, the Mentalist wikia says it better than I ever could: 

“He had a rough existence with his father, the only adult in his life, whose treatment and use of him was tantamount to child abuse. When Patrick refused to scam a dying girl and her grandmother, his father threatened him and forced him to do it. Jane later said that he never went to high school, presumably due to the nomadic carny life. Alex exploited Patrick for his skills, since he was very young. In Red John's Rules it is implied that Jane spent some time in foster care as a child.

Alex had a wedding ring on his hand, but Jane's mother was not mentioned in any flashbacks, so it is likely that she died or abandoned them.”

Jane’s childhood is one of neglect and abuse, peppered with some happy memories. His father makes it clear that he views taking care of Jane as being Jane’s responsibility, and moreover, that Jane owes it to him because he’s taken care of him up until then. (“I’ve been carrying you for a long time and it’s not getting any easier, son.” - Season 2, Episode 10, Throwing Fire) He either helps his father with his schemes or he is on his own.

Therefore, in adulthood, he is on his own. He struggles to let people in, struggles to accept help and accept partnership. He considers himself the smartest person in the room because he has to be - it’s a way to survive and he has nothing else.

As seen when he loses all memory of his family, the original childhood trauma makes him more callous and uncaring, having no limits and no boundaries (nor caring about others’ boundaries). It’s only him and nobody else. 

It is likely that Angela was his moral compass. (as it is implied a few times that she was done with the carny life and the tricks) Even so, chakramchaser made a very valid point: “he still ran from it then - why else would he be running an empire of psychic cons. bro had way more money than he needed he just was addicted to the thrill. i feel like he thrived on the unpredictability.” 

Over the course of the show, we see that he begins to trust other people (mainly Lisbon and the main team). However, he still struggles to let them in, either in his life and in his plans. He goes by himself in most of his plans, informing the team of the minimum necessary for them to know in order to execute the plan flawlessly. He makes more of an effort towards the end of the show and especially after he and Lisbon get together, but his first instinct is still to do things by himself. He cares, but he struggles to convey this directly, preferring to buy them gifts (to show that he knows them), to offer compliments, help them or at the worst, con his way (tricking Lisbon into staying for longer instead of telling her that he doesn’t want her to go).

However, we can notice an important shift after Red John dies and especially after he and Lisbon get together. Despite the fact he still struggles to communicate his feelings, he tries. Opening up towards Lisbon allows him to open up more towards others as well. For example, he makes an effort to inform Abbott when he has a plan that could be dubious (and tells him that he won’t be informed of the specifics in order to have deniability).

Healing comes through the good relationships that we form and we can definitely see this with Jane.

Jane and Lisbon - their relationship

After more than a decade of a deep friendship, Jane and Lisbon decided to become a couple after Lisbon got engaged to another man and was about to be out of Jane’s life. The common perspective is that they could not get together until Red John was dead, because Jane was determined to kill him and in turn Red John was obsessed with picking on him.

That is half of the story. The other half is that they are an disorganized/avoidant couple, do not really consider intimacy safe and do not really know how to express it unless it’s in high stakes. (That being the main reason Jane confessed his feelings in a big “rushing-to-the-airport-and-telling-you-the-truth-as-you-leave” moment.) As an example, I will show the moment from S4 that everyone and their mother is familiar with. I will transcribe underneath the pictures and then I will write my perspective in regards to what they think and feel.

(Season 4, episode 24 - The Crimson Hat)

[Transcript:

Lisbon, not looking Jane in the eyes: So, that thing you said before you shot me.

Lisbon, looking down: What did you mean?

[Jane looks contemplative for a few seconds, before saying]

Jane, with a slight smile: What did I say?

Jane, no smile: I was kind of hyped up.

Lisbon, looking at him now and sounding relieved: Me too. I thought at any moment we were gonna get found out.]

My perspective is as follows: Lisbon has a disorganized attachment style (or should I say…Messy?).

(Season 1, Episode 14 - Crimson Casanova)

[Transcript - Patrick Jane: Messy women make good lovers.]

This means she desires both closeness and distance. She asks Jane what he meant by telling her “Take care, Teresa. Love you.”, but she cannot look him in the eye. She does not know if it’s a confession and she does not know if she wants it to be a confession. She is not ready for this.

Jane, who did not expect her to call him out on this, takes a while to figure out how to respond to this. He is definitely not ready for this kind of intimacy. Whether the confession was a slip or not, he did not intend to talk about this afterwards. Therefore, he decides to go with “I don’t remember what I said.” I think the presence of the smile and the serious face afterwards is indicative enough. He knows she will not say the words out loud.

And she doesn’t. Moreover, she seems just as relieved for this excuse, since she decides to look at him in the eyes now.

In the fanfiction that I’ve read, a lot of people interpret Lisbon as being slightly annoyed or even downright upset about Jane pretending to not remember telling her “I love you”, but I don’t think she was. I think the perspective was both enticing and scary for her (another example pinpointing this is Pike asking for her hand in marriage).

Now, how does this change when they are in a relationship? They start to communicate more and express their likes and desires more, as well as listen to each other. (“You wore a vest. I like it.”) Their early traumas still haven’t disappeared, but they work through them together: they still have a tendency to brush off their emotions and say “It’s nothing, I’m fine”, Jane runs away for a bit when he is trying to figure out how to deal with the idea of Lisbon dying, and Lisbon remains to be responsible and deal with their feelings. But - they talk. Jane confesses to being terrified of losing her, Lisbon remains clear that she loves both Jane and the job. What seems initially as running away turns out to be running towards. It is true that he could’ve told her before, but it’s likely that he didn’t know what was going on either until he found the house. Jane was trying to find a way to deal with his intrusive terror. And yea, my guy would’ve benefitted from some therapy, but a new hobby (such as renovating a house) is the next best thing really. He comes back to her.

In conclusion, I think a lot of their decisions and instincts and fears can be explained by their attachment styles. The way their relationship evolves is absolutely fascinating. Honestly I find it really beautiful that two terrified people used to running away decide to stay for each other and come back to each other and do better to each other and for each other. Their final perp catch is done as a team.

(season 7, episode 13 - White Orchids)

References:

https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles/

https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/disorganized-attachment/

https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/avoidant-attachment-style/

https://thementalist.fandom.com/wiki/Teresa_Lisbon

https://thementalist.fandom.com/wiki/Patrick_Jane

[cornerihaunt]

bentornatiii. ah no

[songsofwaterandnight]

This is the original girlboss that they hated to see winning.

[kuwdora]

I always have thoughts about book-to-media adaptations running in the back of my mind these days since it’s part and parcel of our fannish landscape. There’s just so much that goes into translating something from book to a visual medium. And then the adaptation fails in some small and/or large way and it ends up being a disappointment. (I think there’s also a lot to be said about adaptations that are more Successful than not and what success means in an adaptation…but I think that deserves its own post.)

I’m often considering a person’s entry point to adaptations, whether it’s through the media or the original source, and how that plays into people’s reactions about failures of adaptations or—like, what each person is wanting to get out of the adaptation if they know the original source material. And what they’re happy with when they’ve just discovered it through the adaptation.

Just gonna ramble a little bit about my own experience with being a book-to-adaptation person. I think even when writing and production circumstances are the most ideal, it’s still fucking hard as hell to adapt complicated narratives to the screen. Still. I’m not immune to heartbreak about seeing something play out badly because I had been so attached to the original book material.

When I was a little girl I picked up a fantasy book featuring a little girl protagonist. This main character was living in a foster situation, had dead parents, and a wishy-washy background she didn’t know much about. She was a little bit of a ruffian and kind of defied everybody and everything because she had a very strong sense of self and moral code. She is, of course, a child of prophecy and has a lot in store for her.

Over the course of the first book she ends up embroiled in some social and political intrigue and ends up going on a grand adventure. She meets an outcast who is is hated by humans but they use his services anyway because he’s good at his job. He ends up becoming her protector and guardian and would do anything for her.

She eventually crossed paths with a world-traveling misfit with who brought levity and a heart of gold to every scene. She also ended up meeting a very old, very beautiful witch also fell in love with this child and would move heaven and earth to protect her and help her survive and thrive.

The whole series deals with a lot of complex issues of the moral and social variety, and there’s a running theme about how men and institutions headed by men wield their power and try to impose their vision of the world on everyone. Particularly on women.

The little girl also eventually found out that her dad isn’t actually dead like she was told. The dad is alive and well and he’s asshole, also a bad guy. But he has the MOST CHARISMA EVER, holy fuck.

I ate these books up as a kid and reread them over and over and my brain and heart totally grew around them. I admired the protagonist and her sharp wit and mouthiness and determination. Her resiliency and perseverance to do what she knew would be right and just. As I got older and I reread the books and absorbed the more complex issues about personhood and agency. I thought more about how you can resist a bad situation or person when the world/person is trying to change you to fit their ideal. (That part was particularly important to me when I was young). But also the themes of good and evil, etc. I started seeing the politics and then understanding it more with every reread over the years when I started reading more history, more politics. It had always been there in the books but I could finally SEE it. It felt like a revelation.

A dozen or so years later it turns out someone was going to going to adapt these books! It was much discussed and heavily anticipated. These were well-known, beloved fantasy books from the 90s. Amazing characters and great scenes! Fascinating themes.

God I remember being so excited when I heard about the adaptation. And then I got to see it. It was the most confusing and disappointing experiences of my life. What I ended up seeing was pretty. Great costumes, CGI. Amazing actors! But everything that made the books interesting and magical and profound had been watered down, elided over the moral complexities. Or it outright changed things that would have fundamentally shifted the events of the rest of the books and make the adaptation even MORE incomprehensible.

I’m talking about the 2007 film adaptation of The Golden Compass from Philip Pullman’s trilogy His Dark Materials. A lot of this probably sounds familiar to my Witcher mutuals, right?

Anyway.

The film had so many boycotts by the Catholic Church and other churchy groups in the United States for its depiction of institutionalized religion in Lyra’s world. So on the studio-side they made so many changes and demands that fucked the movie. So much doesn’t make sense or is just pales in comparison to what was actually originally intended.

After the film’s flop even more articles and reviews came out talking about Tom Stoppard’s original draft of the film and the director’s first take on the screenplay. Vulture read both versions and it's really illuminating what they discovered. The film was indeed supposed to be significantly longer but the studio wasn’t having it because they wanted kids to go and see this film and 2+ film wasn’t gonna be it.

Like. The studio was really hoping for another Harry Potter franchise and were treating this book-to-film more like a YA fantasy type of thing. When in reality someone wrote a sanded down version of the story for the screenplay that left me and a whole bunch of other people fucking jaded as hell. Because damn. Way to miss the fucking mark on an amazing fantasy series. 10000% missed it. I’ve blacked out most of the actual film from memory because I just could not believe it. The disappointment. The heartache of not doing the story justice.

But yeah…just… someone really thought The Golden Compass was gonna be a huge fantasy action/adventure hit because there were really cool talking animals.

It’s so fucking hilarious to me in retrospect. When you realize these books are Phillip Pullman’s AU fanfic/fix-it of Paradise Lost where Lucifer gets to have his revenge on the kingdom of heaven, there was noooo way that original film was going to even begin to set up a 3 or 4 film franchise. Nooo way.

The first book ends with an absolutely heartbreaking and horrific scene that is the catalyst for Lyra and what motivates her for the next 1500 pages of the series. I was there opening weekend in that theater for The Golden Compass. I have never been more confused in my LIFE while watching a film because they ended the film like 5 chapters before the end of the book. They lopped it off and made the first film a very strange Cliffhanger for a sequel that would absolutely never get made. I was flabbergasted.

The disappointment. The confusion. The despair. I was fucking depressed about it for a good long time. I had been so excited and been brimming with anticipation because I loved the books so much and I wanted it to be good and then what I got was….absolute garbage. To me. I mean maybe if I had been a little girl watching the film for the first time it would have been better. But as an adult who had spent the better part of my life immersed in Lyra’s character arc… I just. Could not feel more betrayed.

I can’t even be that upset anymore because I’ve had enough time to grieve and leave it behind. Then somehow the universe came together and HBO let Jack Thorne and company re-do the books as a series. It is a much more faithful adaptation. I’m too close to the book source to know if people who don’t read the books will get the same kind of experience out of seeing the show play through Lyra and Will’s experiences in the show.

The final season of His Dark Materials was also probably the most philosophical and abstract season of fantasy television I’ve seen. I fucking loved it. I don’t think it was perfect, but it was really enjoyable and did more to soothe my soul than I thought possible. It’s not a show for everyone—and I’m still not sure how it got made because HBO the last few years had been going through some changes. Maybe I’m very sentimental and forgiving, I don’t know. The narrative pacing was a bit weird to me in places and some of the dialogue was hit or miss but overall, I could not have gotten a better time from it.

That experience with the film a has made me much more intentional about managing my expectations of how I approach media adaptations.

Where am I starting with an adaptation? What am I hoping to get out of this? Who is making it and what are the production constraints working against it? How do I manage my expectations if I know the original source and what do I want from the visual media and acting? Etc etc. Do I want to go and read the original if I don’t know it already because I want to see what changes they made?

I keep thinking about everything with The Witcher Netflix. It’s so fucking difficult to get anything made through studios and networks (especially now, but even then in the late 2000s)… And when you’re trying to appeal to the widest audience possible, you’re only going to get so far when you’ve left the rest of the source inspiration on the table. And didn’t bother to make up for the difference in what you left there.

We all know how depressing it is. The streaming model has fucked television over completely. The depreciation of writers rooms… we had 20 and 22 episodes, and then 15 and 12 episodes. Filler episodes with great character moments. Space to flesh out complex narratives with nuance. And now 8 episodes as a standard runtime. The lack decent amount of time for production (including pre and post) to actually set things up in a way that serves the media narrative.

It’s so hard to cater to everyone when you’re drawing from a book/comic book. Also harder to cater to your specific audience. But when you’re trying cater to enough people so you don’t get cancelled and keep going to try and tell the story you’re trying to tell, that’s fucking hard and shitty and I don’t begrudge them for that. Even though it sucks.

Even though I can hate it as much has I can understand it. Wish it was different. Even though it can be a fucking travesty of epic proportions because these writers/showrunners/directors don’t get the space to actually flesh out what they’re trying to do.

Even if people are writing a very different iteration of the story that I don’t like/want/agree with/understand/etc.

That doesn’t even go into the issue of when showrunners and directors don’t understand the characters they’re working with or make fundamental changes because of their own vision, production constraints, and everything else. You might see a lot of this going around again with Red, White, and Royal Blue and what the director had changed in his film adaptation. People are worked up into a froth for very valid reasons. It’s all exhausting but this is all nothing new. Still demoralizing when people so attached to the original material.

Anyway. That’s….just some thoughts that have been sitting with me for awhile. Could probably ramble more if I can get the brain cells together.

Fun fact: George RR Martin looked at the 2007 The Golden Compass film and said (paraphrasing here): “I am never, ever fucking EVER letting anyone make my books into a film. A television show is the way to go.”

Fun fact #2: James SA Corey (Daniel Abraham and Ty Frank) worked with GRRM extensively over the years and I think others have written more extensively about GRRM’s influence the way they wrote sprawling narratives with multiple POV characters. Anyway they developed a tabletop RPG that they eventually turned into novels that became The Expanse.

Which eventually got adapted to television. SyFy network was in a bidding war with Netflix for the show and out-bid Netflix. This was a show adaptation that did not hold your hand whatsoever. Fascinating, new, interesting. Faithful adaptation. Still got cancelled after two seasons. Even though both authors had become producers on the show and were learning more about production and writing teleplays from experienced sci-fi showrunners/producers/television writers.

Show was later picked up by Amazon to finish out the last few seasons. But I would bet my bottom dollar that both these authors watched how the Game of Thrones adaptations went and probably went “we’re not gonna let this happen to us.” And I think that’s reflected in the way they and their team were able to adapt the story faithfully with multiple huge and small changes specifically so it would work with the television medium.

[machiavellli]

I don’t know what’s got into me but I started watching all the YA dystopia movie franchises based on a book series I’ve always avoided. and yes. I watched the movies first for once, instead of reading the book before, and it has been quite fun because I literally had no idea of what was going on lol

[claremikas]

Just realized that the measurement of how fucked up a warrior behaves is essentially just how much she's willing to kill her comrades without a good reason (those being rebellion and awakening).

We've seen Ophelia and Roxanne do it for their own twisted desires (Ophelia leaning more on the "reliving trauma in a fucked up way" side but still) and they're both considered to be antagonists and wicked in their behavior. But that doesn't come as a surprise when you remember what Rafutera said to Limt.

It's literally empathy, perhaps a bit stronger than the one regular humans feel because of yoki and subconscious harmonization of energy but at the end of the day it's simply being able to understand the feelings of another. And for warriors that is both fascinating and beautiful. Think about it, these women spend most of their lives apart from each other, on isolated territories, rarely crossing paths with each other and when they do meet in groups there's in-flighting more often than not.

Unlike the two mentioned above, most others choose to spare the lives of their sisters in arms: Teresa with all of the warriors who came after her (let's be real if she wanted to she could've disposed of them all without a sweat), Rafaela with Ilena, Galatea with Clare and later on Clarice (and Miata) with Galatea (though that one took some convincing).

The most obvious one however is Miria and just how much she values the lives of her fellow warriors and how much, in turn, they value her. I think that it's just so beautiful how most of them crave these connections with each other and how much they understand that at the end of the day they're all victims of the organization. It's those very connections that help them stay human and true to themselves (Clare and Teresa, Clare and Jean, Deneve reeling Miria in with her speech of how much she's appreciated by those around her, etc).

[stxrdust-widow]

Someone please send me some sad Lisbon prompts/ headcanons because I want to read angsty shit, but I haven’t found many on Ao3 yet and I need more Lisbon hurt/comfort so I’ve just decided to write it RIP

Will write just Lisbon POV or Jane x Lisbon (I.e would centre around just her past or be flashback-esque fics)

(Currently working on a longer post-canon piece but I’m not currently writing any angst (which is basically my whole brand let’s be real))

Edit: I’m begging, please send me your sad ideas!! I want excuses to procrastinate my Jane x Lisbon future fic!!

[pensbridgertons]

wish i could have a normal and fun relationship w ouat (like so many other people do) as a show that was very important to me when i was young and therefore riddled w nostalgia and also has a lot of silly unserious vibes but unfortunately my opinions are too strong and deeply ingrained in me and generally unpopular and it makes it very hard to engage w most content abt it sjkhfjk

[nalascat]

Derek is created in 1986 for the Rockers line.

Derek then vanishes after the second wave of Rockers in 1987.

Just a year after, in 1988, Teresa is created for California Dreams.

Do what you want with this info.