#than to listen to women debate attractive male characters

[rosered-schneeweisschens-sis]

i never knew there were men in the room for this, “that was tough” oh man they were not prepared XD

[thomotomo]

Kia ora! Could i request a peaky blinders x male reader, where y/n is in a secret relationship with his brother tommy shelby? fluff and hiding from period typical homophobic laws

A/N: Hello dear anon! I hope you will like it! I’m not watching Peaky Blinders so I tried to keep in the universe and in character but I’m pretty sure I messed up a few things lol. Hopefully you will enjoy it nonetheless! Thanks for requesting :3

TW/CW: Incest, Slurs/derogatory terms about gay men, misoginy (ig, well they don’t talk well about women), Mention of period typical homophobia - Read at your own risks

Words: 2.4K

The atmosphere in the room was tense. Some members of the gang had been attacked and it seemed that other rival gangs in Birmingham were pushing their luck, titillating your family into making mistakes.

You weren’t really concentrated on the discussion, rather you observed your brother (and secret lover) who was seated opposite to where you were standing, a whisky in his hand, discussing the serious matter with a frown on his face with your brother, Arthur and your Aunt Polly.

You tried following the flow of the conversation but the soft light reflecting on Tommy’s face was making him way too attractive and his shining eyes were marvellous, you wanted to kiss away the frown on his face, hold him in your arms and proclaim to the world that you loved him.

Sadly, you weren’t able to do so for a numerous of reason, firstly he was your brother, and although wedding between cousins were accepted, people were taking less kindly two children from the same mother to be in love. And secondly well, people of your kind weren’t well liked (not to say absolutely despised), two men lying together was seen as an abomination and you had witnessed a few times boys being beaten for being accused of being a “fag”.

Truth to be told, you hated being unable to be with him, go outside together, not giving a care about anything or anybody but sadly you knew you couldn’t do that. You wanted to stay alive and not cause the downfall of your family’s gang and basically not disgracing them socially, so here you were, trying to listen to the conversation.

“What are your thoughts (Y/N)?”, it was Arthur who spoke up. You tried to stay collected on the outside and completely panicking inside.

“Oh erm. I think we should maybe execute one person, one example to assert our dominance and show them this as a warning and we won’t stay here doing nothing?”, they nodded as you sighed, feeling less stressed now that you answered to them.

You lit up a cigarette and smoked slowly as they discussed about who they will take down, their level in the other gang. And after debating for another ten minutes they settled on kidnapping, Ralph McAllister, a middle-ranked member from the Birmingham Boys you had seen few times in town.

All of you stayed a bit more, discussing other issues until Polly had to leave, kissing all of you on the cheek. Arthur did the same, but leaving with a clasp on the shoulder, not without proposing both of you to meet him tonight at the Garrison Pub, which you agreed to do, he left both of you alone.

You waited until you were sure they were far enough and that nobody would be able to see you, you walked to Tommy, putting your cigarette on the ashtray and took his face in your hands, kissing him softly. He sighed in the kiss and put his free hand on your hip, gently caressing it with his thumb.

“Everything is such a mess. Fucking assholes they think they can try and steal our territory.”, his hand gripped your hip a bit tightly. You caressed his cheeks with your thumbs, looking at him seriously.

“They fucking sucks but we’re going to crush them. Don’t think about them now and relax.”, you felt his grip loosen as he downed the rest of the whiskey and put the glass on the table next to him. He tapped your hip with his fingers, making you move from above him, allowing him to stand up. He gazed at you lovingly and took your hand in his.

“Maybe we should move to the bedroom? There will be no risks of being the caught.”

You nodded and followed him in his bedroom, locking the door behind you as Tommy closed the curtains, just in case. Tommy then went to his seat and you joined him, sitting on his lap, his hand directly went to your check. You leaned in it, smiling at him. You enjoyed those quiet moments with him where you could do anything without any care in the world.

He peppered your cheeks with kisses, attempting to kiss all of your freckles, making you laugh lowly. Tommy then looked at you with a gentle smile and finally kissed you on the lips; you deepened it, adding a bit of tongue to the kiss. Tommy’s free hand went around your waist, smiling in the kiss and after a few more seconds of kissing he moved his mouth to your jaw, then your neck, letting you breath as he lightly bit your neck, avoiding leaving any marks.

He stopped after a while, breathing a bit strongly, putting his head on your shoulder, both of his arms now wrapping your waist. You stroked his hair, smiling softly and shuddering as his hot breath hit your neck.

“We’ll have to meet with Arthur later…”, you regretfully said.

“Yeah… But don’t think about that love. Now we’re having a moment together.”

You smiled at him and yelped when he stood up and suddenly put his hands under your thighs. He chuckled at the sound as by reflex you wrapped your legs around his waist. He walked you to his bed and put you on it, coming to lie next to you. He brought you in his arms, cuddling you and kissing your forehead. Both of you chilled there for a while in silence, bathing in each other’s love.

After a while lying on the comfortable, cuddling and sometimes talking, you decided that even though you really wanted to stay with him you had to be “productive” and go and take care of the horses to avoid raising suspicions.

You regretfully left Tommy’s arms, kissing him gently as he stood up too, to go and plan the disappearance of McAllister. You unlocked the door and kissed him once last time before making your way to your room, changing your clothes and then went to the stables. You started by putting the horses in the field made for them and cleaned all the stalls. It was an unusual job for the son of a wealthy family but considering your family was a gang  it didn’t really matter, at least you were someone to be trusted with the horses.

You really enjoyed taking care of the horses, even though sometimes it was it was very demanding job and the horses weren’t always in the best of the moods but it was an entertaining job, and you really loved the feeling of seeing the horses happy, clean and healthy and you were sweaty and not looking at all like a man of your rank.

Once all the cleaning and filling the food tanks of the horses you brought them one by one back in their stable. You stayed a bit longer with Ludy, a Shire horse that you considered yours instead of the family’s, patting him and giving him a little treat before leaving to take a shower as it was almost time for you to go and meet Arthur.

You put some clean clothes and waited for Tommy to come down, you were almost wondering if he had forgotten about it, knowing how he could be whenever he started to work, but before you could even try to walk back upstairs he arrived and shoot you a wink with a smile.

“You look great brother.”

“Same about you Tommy. You’re going to pick up some lass at the bar?”

“Maybe, we’ll see..”, he licked his lips as he checked you out. You saw the maid behind him, having some sheets in her arms.

You walked outside the mansion and met with the driver. Both of you went in the back and discussed about random things until you arrived at the bar. You stepped out and told the driver he wouldn’t have to go and come search you.

You readjusted your coat and walked inside The Garrison with Tommy right behind you, it was filled with quite the people. The pair of you looked around until you found Arthur in a corner drinking some whisky while flirting with the waitress.

You went and joined him as the waitress left and sat next to him with a smile.

“So, in what honour are we drinking tonight?”

“To the future death of that Birmingham motherfucker and to the calm that will be back right after.”

You all laughed at that and nodded in agreement, the asshole will soon be 6 feet under and all the gangs will either prepare or run away like the rats they were. Tommy ordered a round of drinks and you talked together, sometimes looking at the girls in the pub. Suddenly Arthur whistled.

“Tommy, the blonde lass over there had been watching you for a good while, y’should talk to her, bet she’d like your dick. You should go to talk to her.”

“Wait”, you intervened, “You should wait a bit more, like making her desire you even more so she like jump on you when you come at her. She seems kind of an easy one.”

“(Y/N) is right, she seems kind of an easy one. Give it 5 minutes Tommy boy and then you can get that bitch.”, all of you laughed at that, but in the back of your mind you didn’t want her to touch him. You desperately wished you could claim him in front of everyone, but life wasn’t fair sadly and unless you wanted to die well you could only do so much.

When the five minutes passed Tommy went to the blonde with a predatory grin, saying to both of you. “Take note gentlemen, this is how you woo ladies.”

Both of you laughed and you moved a bit, taking a drink from your glass, observing how he walked to the girl and nearly immediately kissed her neck, probably whispering some sentences to get her. You felt the atmosphere less joyous as you older brother was also observing the scene. There was never bad blood between the two of you but it was clearly not the same kind of love between you and Arthur than you and Tommy (damn right, Arthur was so constipated with his feelings you could easily think he hated you).

“You’re not a fag right?”, you tensed as he asked that. He wasn’t looking at you, but surely from the corner of his eyes he was observing your reaction. You tried not to look uncomfortable and laughed as if he told you a joke.

“Me a fairy? Really? Nah those past weeks Ludy doesn’t looks pretty well so I’m trying to see if anything is wrong with him. And with the mating seasons nearing all the horses are on the edge so I’d like to avoid some of them to get knocked up you know.”, you didn’t like using Ludy for an escape but you didn’t saw any other choices there. Arthur hummed and took a sip of his drink.

“Because I wouldn’t want people to find out my brother’s a sissy. I wouldn’t like to know you’re a sissy. Because if you are…”, he looked at you with a weird glint in his eyes and you were pretty sure that if he knew you were an homosexual there wouldn’t be any blood bond between you anymore and he would murder you. You repressed a shudder and smirked.

“Nah don’t worry about that. I’m just occupied and worried about the horse’s health. But don’t worry next time we go out I’ll pick a cute lass, probably a redhead y’know?”, he laughed and downed the rest of his drink in one go.

“Yeah you always got the weirdest tastes brother.”

You looked back at Tommy who was still flirting with the girl and in a blink of an eye she disappeared, you knew where she went and your brother who probably followed her confirmed your suspicions. After all he always was better at hiding his feelings and acting too and you envied him for that. The thought of sex with any woman was repulsing you and even though you were able to go though it all with prostitutes or random women in bars, you wanted to throw up after every time.

“Oooh little Tommy is getting his fair share of fun with the little blondie. I wonder if she’s a screamer or not.”

“I’m betting she’s more like a squeaky mouse.”

“We’ll see when pretty boy is back!”

The two of you stayed here, discussing and you occasionally threw a lustful gaze to the women in the pub trying to make Arthur think you were watching them while he was flirting with some waitress, sometimes giving them a clap on their ass. You had the time to take another drink until Tommy came back, putting his pants back in place.

Arthur laughed and clapped, attracting a bit of attention that was quickly diverted when you threw them dark looks. Tommy sat back with a smirk and Arthur clapped his shoulder.

“C’mon Tom, how was she? Loud or not?”

“She wasn’t making much noises, but she was tight as fuck.”

“I was right then!”, you hit your older brother on the shoulder with a laugh.

“Tsk for once boy, for once.”

You kept bantering until Arthur decided it was time for him to go back home. You followed him outside and kept discussing for a short moment, observing the surroundings with a distrustful look on your face, after all night was always the best moment to murder people and you wanted to avoid that. You watched as Arthur left and then both you and Thomas started to walk in the opposite direction.

The streets weren’t quiet, from the drunk lads trying to walk to the fights, it was clear it was animated almost as much as during broad daylight. As you turned in a dark and seemingly completely empty street. You pulled Thomas with you and put him against the wall, immediately covering his lips with yours.

He was shocked for an instant and then relaxed in your grasp, kissing you back. After a few seconds of kiss, you stopped pressing him on the wall and licked your lips while looking at him with a spark in your eyes.

“You fucking- You could have waited for us to be more away!”, Tommy whispered with a disbelieved smile on his face.

“I couldn’t wait to kiss this bitch away from you. But don’t worry I’ll finish that somewhere else.”, this time you were the one leaving him hanging as you walked away, hearing his quick steps to join you.

Hopefully for you the maid wouldn’t be home by the time you’d be back or you’d have to keep him extra quiet.

_______________

A/N: I hope you enjoyed the story! Don’t forget to like, reblog and comment if you did and you can leave me a tip on KOFI if you want! Take care <3

[dwellordream]

“…Courtly love is commonly cited as marking the nascence of the modern era’s notion of romantic love. Although Eleanor undoubtedly heard the troubadours’ songs as a child, the extent to which their new ideas on love and marriage shaped her own views cannot be known. Too little evidence from Eleanor’s early life survives to resolve much debated claims for her role in fostering the doctrines of courtly love disseminated by troubadours or claims that she influenced later notions of romantic love. Troubadour poetry was in its infancy in the years before she left for Paris, and its theme of a young knight’s adoration of his superior-ranking lady would not become a literary norm until the later twelfth century.

Nonetheless, because the adult Eleanor is so often associated with courtly love and outrageous claims have been made for her as its sponsor and propagator, the unfolding of this phenomenon during her formative years must be understood. Today it is hard to know what to make of courtly love that seemingly celebrated adulterous relationships between a married noble lady and her knightly admirer; nor can it be known what those living in a Christian society that classed adultery and fornication as serious crimes were to make of it. 

The troubadours’ love was full of contradictions: sensual yet spiritual, both ethically edifying and sinful, open and at the same time secret. The elevation of women in their songs conflicted with teachings of eleventh- and twelfth century Church reformers who portrayed all women as descendants of Eve, the temptress and source of sin, spreading wickedness and disorder in the world. Because troubadour love contradicted Church teachings on love, marriage, and sex, it was suspected of contamination by the heretical Cathars or even of Spanish Muslim influences. 

…Also responsible for blending clerics’ courtliness, knights’ prowess, and “courtly love” into a new standard for knightly behavior were authors of late twelfth-century vernacular romances. More numerous in northern France and the Anglo-Norman realm than in the south, the romance writers adapted the love portrayed in troubadour songs, making adoration of a noble lady a key characteristic of the perfect knight. Romance writers borrowed from troubadour lyrics language that applied a knight’s service to his lord to the language of devotion to his lady. 

…Unlike the knights of the romances written in the north, Occitan knights would continue to identify chivalry with purely warlike traits, rather than with exalted love for a lady, and the sponsors of singers of troubadour songs were more likely the husbands of noble ladies than the ladies themselves. Songs of the Périgord knight Bertrand de Born, writing for Eleanor’s sons, say nothing of knightly love for ladies, but extoll warfare and taunt those nobles who refrained from fighting. In the few poems that Bertrand authored with amorous topics, his treatment of love is decidedly unromantic. 

Courtly love’s language of knightly devotion to a lady cannot be regarded as an accurate portrayal of the position of women in the aristocratic society of Eleanor’s youth. While power for women of the Midi was possible, and some ruled lands in their own right or on behalf of absent spouses or minor offspring, many others found their fates entirely in the hands of fathers, husbands, or other kin. Indeed, property rights enjoyed by southern women in the eleventh century were weakening in the early and mid-twelfth century. 

While encouraging courteous conduct toward the ladies at princely courts, it is unlikely that the troubadour love lyrics brought significant betterment of their lives. Perhaps such songs were little more than moves in a complex game of flirtation. Once troubadour poetry reached the French and English royal courts, listeners there would find the depiction of adulterous love alarming, and such songs may have inclined Eleanor’s subjects to believe the worst of her. At the same time that poetry at the court of Eleanor’s grandfather was defining “courtly love”, it was also contributing to a new understanding of “chivalry” at Poitiers and at other princely courts. 

In Eleanor’s early childhood, the Old French and Occitan terms that would evolve into the modern “cavalry” and “chivalry” still applied primarily to skill with horses and weapons, the qualities of knights, military professionals fighting on horseback, men in those days often of non-noble rank. In the violence and chaos of the tenth and eleventh centuries, polite manners or moral behavior were little valued, although knights felt a strong sense of honor and shame, making them quick to avenge any affront that dishonored them. 

Desirable characteristics for knights described in the late eleventh-century epic poems, the chansons de gestes, center on prowess, including physical strength, mastery of fighting skills, and courage. Less attractive traits also characterized the epic heroes: pride, arrogance, disdain for lesser persons, and willingness to humiliate others. This individualistic ethos clashed with the Christian contemplative ideal, exemplified by the monastic life, and by the late eleventh century, churchmen were seeking to harness the warrior elite’s ferocity for spiritual ends. They tried to channel their fervor toward Christian goals, enforcing the Peace of God to defend the poor and weak and crusades to liberate the Holy Places. 

During Eleanor’s early years, first as a child at Poitiers and later as an adolescent bride at Paris, courtliness, or courtesy, was beginning to dilute the warrior ethos of chivalry. Courtliness stood for a new standard for the nobility of polite and principled conduct gaining ground in the late eleventh century, inspired by ancient Roman ideals. Cultured ecclesiastics had kept alive classical ideals of conduct advocating upright character, eloquent speech, good taste, and polished manners aimed at preparing Roman youths for the life of statesmen. Under the influence of churchmen at princely courts, this classical ideal began to take on new form among both clerical and lay courtiers. 

Soon the two concepts of knightly prowess and clerical courtliness were giving rise to a new standard of chivalric conduct that combined fighting skills with learning and courteous conduct. Over the twelfth century, a new definition of nobility was taking root as knights, originally rough soldiers, were exposed to courtly conduct in their lords’ households. As models for conduct followed by both landless knights and nobility of ancient lineage meshed together, they coalesced as a single class in people’s thinking. The terms “knight” and “noble” were becoming synonymous, and individuals of either status were expected to exemplify chivalry and courtesy as members of a single superior caste standing above the common people. 

This change in social structure would not be completed until Eleanor’s mature years at the end of the twelfth century and the beginning of the thirteenth century. Eleanor, growing up in William IX’s sophisticated court, a model for courts throughout southern France, saw at first-hand the elegant behavior characteristic of a courtly culture. There she would have witnessed women enjoying a more respected position than later at the French or English royal courts, where religious teachings demanding women’s deference toward males bore greater weight. Southern women freely joining the men in witty and flirtatious conversations would have shocked visitors from northern France or England, who feared the skill of ladies with words, their ability to apply verbal weaponry and sexual wiles for plotting and intriguing. 

Yet court life had less appealing aspects that young Eleanor could have observed. A competitive atmosphere permeated the princely courts, for courtiers flocked there to win the prince’s approval and patronage; and in their competition for favors, they resorted to scheming, slander, and flattery. As a girl, she would have heard scurrilous rumors at the ducal court spread by ambitious courtiers about their rivals of the sort that would circulate later at her two husbands’ courts about her own alleged sexual misconduct.”

- Ralph V. Turner, “Growing Up in the Ducal Court of Aquitaine, 1124–1137.” in Eleanor of Aquitaine: Queen of France, Queen of England

[xo-cuteplosion-xo]

How about a musician reader x character fic? Maybe a singer who performs in a cafe, or a classical musician who plays in an orchestra, or who plays in a rock band? I dunno I have a lot of ideas in my mind but I'm just too lazy to write them :D What do you think?

So here's the baseline you gave me - a musician reader fic x character. Here's what I decided to fill in for this lovely fic- a fluffy bsd collage Au where the reader is majoring in music and has the side job of a stage performer. Then, because they would match well, so I decided to go with a Fyodor x reader. Hope this is alright!

Words- 1728 ~

Hearts Composition | fyodor x musician reader | (collage Au)

Music thudded against the walls, muffled only by the thick layers that hid backstage from the audience. The aroma of heavily worn perfume surrounded people in pleasant bliss. Waitresses and waiters swayed with heavy plates rested along arms and in hands. Carrying much-wanted foods and booze to awaiting customers. The collection of accents muted under the heavy beats of taps and clicks from the metal of the dancer's shoes. Picking up a smaller wooden, finely carved, and rather expensive model of a violin, stood yourself. With a smile, your hands trailed the curves and strings of the delicate instrument. With all the work you had to do for university you had truly didn’t have time to be doing some minimum wage job. Though you didn’t care much, if you could play something, it would be fine. You performed here every once in a blue moon. You weren't one of the performers, but they would grace you with the intermission on busy nights. Much like these nights, when the crowd was full and the people rowdy and in need of constant entertainment. You could soothe those shouts and demands of perverted drunk men; Soothe the cries of broken women and rich spoiled children.

Stepping onto the wooden stage as the lights dim, allowing you the bare minimum of the peeping moonlight to find the microphone located at the center. Inhaling as your anxiety turned into bliss, you waited. As the colored light flew on, you rested your chin on the soft velvet. Holding up the bow, you set it to the strings. With a final inhale, your eyes fluttered shut as you played a classical piece; one constructed for an upcoming project that was due for your music composition class. You had nearly all the string instruments you could play finished; all but the cello. With every strum of your instrument, the crowd fell silent, enjoying the break from all the heavy excitement. Even the children's chatter soothed down, so your instrument could echo off the thin walls of the pub.

Sipping nothing but a cup of tea with a small side of biscuits, a male leaned in his seat. Sitting with a pristine, perfect posture, he listened to the soft sound. The way his violet eyes slowly lidded, and his hair fell back against his face, lit his features in a urethral, almost divine light. His mind working to recognize the piece. As an up-and-coming musician, he had several classics memorized. He could join in by ear, or even write out the full pieces without needing to see the original sheet music. This piece wasn’t something he recognized, could it be an original piece?

If you were to open your eyes as you neared the end of the first piece, you would notice his gaze rested on you. Eyes open halfway with hidden interest, and yet, the stare was attractive. The blank look that hid everything beneath a mask laid strewn across his features. As you finished and stood up, surrounded by applause, he watched your every stride. It was funny, he thought he could almost recognize you.

~

With shaking hands, your fingers typed within a group chat of other college students you had met and become close to. “I’m so nervous. I have to hand in that piece today. I pulled an all-nighter trying to decide on the cello part, but nothing sounded right, so now I might not get a full mark.” You could hear the whine through the text. When replies of good luck came to you, except for two replies, you chuckled. One read “could always just die before handing it in.” Another wrote, “I've got the wine ready.” laughing to yourself as you walked into the classroom and set down the folder in the bin. Glancing through the room, you took a seat with your head down. It was unusual for you to arrive early to class, but your anxiety with this project was slowly picking at you to just get there and hand it in. With twenty minutes till class started, you decided to pull out your laptop and listen to the recording from last week.

Taking out your notebook, you started jotting notes about small things to improve, and things you hated about your performances. You didn’t notice somebody else enter the classroom rather early. Carrying his bag, he set it down at one of the desks before the sound of a violin entered his ears. Sitting down he listened to the melody you had played several nights before. As the piece finished, his eyes traveled to the bin. Now understanding where you had gotten the piece from, he sighed. “You’re not half bad, you played a little flat, but it sounds okay. Becoming a flustered disaster, you froze glancing over to him. This wasn’t the first time you had noticed him in class, he was hard to miss. His completely perfect grades, perfect posture, and looks made him stand out. Not only that, but he had strong ideals and his debate skills could sway anybody. Though, you knew it wasn’t really skill, more manipulation. To add to everything his Russian accent stuck out with every word he spoke. “Could you play that again?” hesitating at first you restarted the piece.

He took out a blank piece of sheet music and started scribbling down notes. As if memorizing the piece, he tapped his fingers before bringing his thumb to his mouth and chewing on it. Tapping his foot as the piece came to an end, he glanced at the time before walking over to one of the room's cellos. His face resembled discontent as he looked at it. Looking to where he sat, you realized he didn’t have his with him. You presumed it had to do with the instrument being heavy and somewhat large. Though for somebody of his height, it may not be that big of a deal. Perhaps he didn’t want to lug it around with him, considering he had all of those other books for classes. “So uh, why did you want to hear it again?” you mumbled, rubbing the back of your neck as you watched him strum a few strings. He was checking the accuracy and pitch of the notes. With a contempt sigh, he shrugged.

“Your writing is considerably well done. I wished to try something that is all.” He did not shed a glance as he sat down and ran the bow across the strings. The sound was heaven within your ears, but to him, it was nothing but ordinary. The sound of a well-made expensive Russian model, the model he owned, was much better than this school-provided variant. As the melody played, you recognized it as your piece. Smiling slightly as your eyes sparkled. You bolted from your seat to grab your folder; the music that was due in 10 minutes.

Looking over the cello part you had constructed, you changed the key signature to hold a few new sharps and took away some of the flats. Boldly, you handed the male the sheet music and pointed as if asking "Is this the piece you were playing?" Setting the cello aside, he ran a finger over the bars with a nod. “So that’s what I was missing! You're a god at memorizing and creating. Now I'm excited to see what you concocted for the presentation.” You smiled lightly before placing the folder in the bin. “Oh, I never got your name. I’m-” he cut you off before you could formally introduce yourself.

“You’re y/n. I do pay attention to people who aren't a complete waste of time.” The layers of his ego began to shine through his solid expression. The way you'd called him god just then, was another layer added to the ever-growing ego this man had. He thought he was above everybody else; he indeed was. In every way possible, he was above the normal human. With an exceptionally sharp mind, emotionless facade, and a spin of extraordinary talents, he was a god among men. “I’m taken aback, you don’t know me.” frowning you sat back at your desk. Leaning your head against the palm of your hand with a frown, you clicked your tongue.

Coming up with a sharp reply, you rolled your eyes. “Please, who doesn't know the great Dostoevsky. You’re only at the top of our class. Correcting myself before you can, the top in everything.” He snickered his brows raising in interest. His lips curled into a smirk moments before breaking to speak to you again.

“Consider your words before speaking. That wasn’t exactly the best wording to say "I'm better than everybody at everything.” It took you several seconds to realize what had gone through his head. Of course, he understood what you were saying, but he also managed to nitpick everything.

Blushing you placed your hands in front of your face. “I didn't think about it because that’s not what I was saying!” he snickered again. Listening to him stand you peeked from your hands to watch him set away the cello and bow.

“How often do you perform at that pub?” He switched the discussion relatively quickly. But with the sudden pause of your reaction and the setting away of the instrument, it flowed nicely with the conversation.

“Once or twice a month?” You answer honestly. A bit upset by the lack of real performances you had.

“Next time, I'll reserve something, and we’ll set something up. I want to see if you can play something… difficult.” It wasn't much of a question, more a demand. Nodding you wrote down your number, sliding it to the student with a smile as the bell rang.

For the next week, the two of you met in the unused rooms Fyodor managed to snag for practicing. He often shook his head at your way of playing. He did compliment the several different instruments you would take with you. From the cello to the violin, there wasn’t much you couldn’t play. Each was expertly designed and crafted to fit your arm length and height. Custom made and shipped from all over the world. Eventually, it became a routine, going to his concerts as he attended yours. While you praised how good he was, he would find the smallest mistakes to condemn you about.

[bonnini]

Well I promised you a post about my bi Geoffrey Martewall headcanons so here it is guys <3

So…as I previously mentioned in a tag under one of @agapantoblu's posts, I've been half-seriously headcanoning Geoffrey Martewall a.k.a. the best character in the Hypervesum series as a clueless bisexual for... well, for some time. Let's say a year and a half. I've never bothered actually sharing these headcanons online because I didn't really have a clear idea for an actual argument in support of this claim of mine, but now I’m finally ready to put the all the reasons why I get extra-strong bisexual vibes from Geoffrey Martewall into words. Beware…it’s a lot of words :’’)

Exhibit A: Geoffrey and women

1.1. Geoffrey’s taste in women is just too good

Listen. LISTEN. Our man’s taste in women is IMPECCABLE: he could, as Brianna said herself, have chosen to take any young noble maiden as his wife, but he decided to go for a woman that 1) is a couple years older than him 2) is not noble at all and, you know, used to be just a poor paesant before coming to Châtel-Argent 3) already has a son who was fathered by a French knight to whom she was never married and that she had to raise as a teen single mom 4) at the time of their first meeting had a crush on his current worst enemy. LISTEN!!!!!!!! Geoffrey’s taste in women is suspiciously good, way too good, in fact, to be that of a medieval straight guy. I mean…Ian, a man who comes from the 21st century, fell for the textbook angelic maiden, while Geoffrey literally did not even bother looking around for some young blushing bride and just decided that the hot milf who threatened him with a pitchfork in book 2 was his first and best choice. What an Absolute Fucking King. This choice of his is, in my opinion, very telling of the kind of view he has of romance and women in general.

Which brings me to the next point, namely:

1.2. Geoffrey appears to have an attitude towards women and a view of womanhood that are significantly more modern than those of an average knight of his time

Is it just me or is Geoffrey actually the one with the most… modern mindset out of all the knights starring in the saga? There are a couple of specific scenes that kind of make me think of him as an outlier among his peers, and although some of those are definitely there for the purpose of showing us that Martewall is indeed a rather peculiar knight, others contribute to creating the picture of a character that is almost… out of place in the 13th century? 

Allow me to expand a bit further on the “Geoffrey and women” topic: we saw how chivalrous and respectful Geoffrey was towards an unconscious and injured Brianna. First he made sure her son was comfortable with him warming her up using his own body, and reassured him he meant no disrespect by removing her clothes; then, he proceeded to strip her in the most methodical and detached way possible, which let us know Geoffrey respects a woman’s body and modesty the way any proper, courteous medieval man would. But then there’s another, and in my opinion far more interesting, instance in which Geoffrey is seen interacting with a woman: I’m talking about his brief conversation with Blanche of Castile in book 3. Here we see 1) how Geoffrey treats women he is not attracted to (“not attracted to” as in: women he has no interest in romancing), and 2) to what degree he actually respects female authority. 

Our first introduction to Blanche is the scene in which Guillaume, Ian and Henri de Bar are talking about her right before the audience in Paris, during which we learn that the vast majority of noblemen do not take her opinions seriously and do not appreciate seeing her talk during political debates. Even Henri de Bar, although he does not mean to be insolent, raises an eyebrow at the thought of a woman participating in conversations that concern military strategy, while Guillaume seems almost amused at Ian’s heartfelt defence of her speeches. Which is why Geoffrey’s brief interaction with her stands out so much: when she starts talking about the war in England with him, he carefully listens to her as if she were just another male superior officer: he does not appear even slightly surprised by her competence, he does not try to dumb down the topic of discussion, he listens carefully to what she is saying, he offers his opinion only when she asks for it and he answers her questions in the most straightforward way possible. At no point during the conversation does he ever attempt to pull the condescending “with all due respect, madame…” to correct or contradict her statements. He is not in courteous knight mode, he is in soldier mode, and is unfazed by the fact that the one he is discussing logistics and war strategy with is a delicate looking princess.  Once again, the author is fleshing out Geoffrey’s character by having the protagonist and point of view character draw a direct comparison between him and other men. Martewall does not simply respect women as in “oh I’m a proper knight and I use my blade to protect defenceless maidens”, he actually, genuinely respects women. 

Which in my opinion is such an interesting facet of his values and personality: in the second half of book 2, Ian notices how thoroughly Harald Martewall managed to drill the code of chivalry into his son’s head, and remarks on the fact that the Martewalls are all perfect examples of the True Old School Knights. Both Harald and Geoffrey are the embodiment of the honourable, unyielding, upright warrior trope, and they perfectly fit the image we modern people conjure in our minds when we think of a knight of the Middle Ages. This specific aspect of Geoffrey’s set of values gives his character a strong, let’s say “old-fashioned” connotation, and yet said set of values seems to come from an internal source rather than rely on tradition and external rules. He, for example, got rid of his helm and shield when he saw his adversary in combat was not fully equipped, but he also willingly assisted the Dauphin in taking over England despite having previously sworn an oath of loyalty to John Plantagenet, since his sense of honour compelled him to aid the man who provided him with the help he needed to get his home back. Geoffrey is way more likely to base his choices on what his own moral compass compels him to do rather than resort to convention and tradition to tell right from wrong. This makes Geoffrey a perfect blend of both old and modern qualities, and in the context of his relationship with women he tends to lean quite heavily on his more modern side.  

Let’s go back to discussing his first introduction to Brianna for a second: he witnesses Brianna express her unrequited attraction to Ian, flirt with him and even mock-kiss him straight on the lips, and yet not only does that not make Geoffrey respect her any less, it also does not concern him at all later in book 3 when the story hints at the fact that he might have an interest in taking her as his wife. This is a rather unusual attitude! I mean, even the exuberant Etienne de Sancerre, who has shown an overt preference for feisty and confident women, grumbles and protests in jealousy when his wife Donna and Daniel greet each other with a hug while out in public, deeming the gesture to be inappropriate. What I’m trying to say here is that this is a man who is waaaaay ahead of his peers in regards to his view of women and womanhood, and who also appears to be very confident in his masculinity (so confident, in fact, that the thought of having to “put women in their place” never once crosses his mind), hence why I keep sensing the most excellent kind of bisexual vibes coming from him.

Exhibit B: Geoffrey and men

2.1 Jerome and Geoffrey’s friendship makes NO sense

And I mean it. Yes, we do read about Ian wondering how two people with such different sets of core values (ok maybe Jerome lacked core values all together lol) could have ever been friends, which means that yes, readers are in fact meant to notice how misguided Geoffrey is in his commitment to honour this bond of friendship and avenge Jerome’s death, but the more I think about this, the more I convince myself that this whole situation is, in fact…really weird.

Let’s start from the beginning: so, Geoffrey’s anger over Jerome’s death is the main source of conflict between him and Ian, and it puts the plot of book 2 in motion. Now, we never actually saw Geoffrey and Jerome talk to each other in book 1 (because at the time of its drafting the author had not yet planned on writing a sequel for it) so all the available details about their relationship (mind you, there aren’t that many) have to be gleaned from Geoffrey’s recollections present in book 2 and pieced back together in order to get a clearer picture. Another fact that should be noted is that we also never saw Jerome talk about Geoffrey (again, because Geoffrey wasn’t really that relevant to the plot of book 1): Geoffrey’s words are the only source available when it comes to trying to reconstruct what their interactions might have been like, which means that our perspective on their friendship is going to be inevitably, extremely one-sided. 

So here we go, book 2, chapter 5: Geoffrey has decided to abduct Ian and Daniel and drag them to his home in England to get some answers and avenge Jerome’s death and he currently has Ian at his mercy, so he immediately starts asking questions. He asks why he currently is not home, he asks why his brother has no knowledge of his whereabouts, he asks if his name really is Jean Marc de Ponthieu, and these are all very dangerous questions: they pose a real threat to Ian’s credibility. But then, when Geoffrey asks why Jerome was so certain he was an imposter, Ian breathes in relief, because that means Geoffrey knows nothing about the ambush in Couronne.

But. Wait a second.

How could Geoffrey possibly not know about Couronne? That’s how Derangale KNEW without a shadow of a doubt that Ian and Jean de Ponthieu were never the same person! Dude was busy forging incriminating letters left and right with Ponthieu’s help??? He was the one who helped Ponthieu and Renaud De Dammartin set Isabeau up to be assaulted by Claude de Dammartin??? Geoffrey explicitly says Jerome was obsessed with Ian, so Derangale must have talked his ear OFF with all his incessant rambling about him being an imposter…and Geoffrey did not bother asking him about the details of this weird doppelganger theory of his ONCE? We know how sharp and observant Geoffrey is. We know he is perceptive, and straightforward in voicing his opinions, and not easy to fool. We know he is the type of guy who likes to ask direct questions and get believable, clear answers in return, so he MUST have asked Jerome why he was so sure about the illegitimacy of Ian’s identity. How did Jerome answer? Did he make up a lie on the spot? Geoffrey is equipped with a very functional built-in anti-nonsense super-sensor (the one that allowed him to immediately spot all the places in which Ian’s deception and intentional gaslighting were coming off at their seams even after Ian had managed to convince Geoffrey’s own father that he was Jean de Ponthieu’s second-born son), so if that was the case – if Jerome had indeed tried to make up some story about why he knew who the real Jean de Ponthieu was – Geoffrey (in theory) would have easily been able to tell that he was being lied to. 

Do we then have to assume Jerome simply replied with “I just know”? Well…the text implies that this is the most plausible option: as Ian and Geoffrey’s heated conversation goes on, we realize that the only reason Geoffrey believes Ian to be an imposter is…because Jerome said so. And this, in my opinion, says a lot about both Geoffrey’s relationship with Derangale and his current emotional state. Let’s really think about what this little kidnapping stunt of his must look like from an outside perspective: Geoffrey just decided to abduct a man whose identity has been publicly confirmed by Guillaume de Ponthieu, one of the most powerful men on French soil, who also happens to be a relative of king Philippe Auguste (which means Ian has ties to the royal family as well lol???), who ALSO confirmed that Ian is the youngest Ponthieu brother and PERSONALLY BESTOWED the title of Faucon du Roi upon him. Geoffrey does not (currently) have a shred of proof against Ian: he just chose to believe that Ian is some random foreigner who has been allowed to pretend to be a nobleman and marry Isabeau de Montmayeur by the count of Ponthieu and the king of France because that’s what Jerome believed. Jerome stood alone in front of the entire French court, subjecting himself to ridicule, to denounce Ian as an imposter and Guillaume as a liar (and readers know he is 100% right, but look at this from the perspective of one of the characters who are not involved in this intrigue), which are such far-fetched, absurd, ludicrous accusations, even the closest of Jerome’s friends would have demanded at least some evidence in order to give his version of the story some credit. And yet Geoffrey, who has not been given even one crumb of information on the real Jean de Ponthieu’s actual political alignment, simply decided to stand with him against the rest of the world. 

And then, Ian starts answering Geoffrey’s questions by telling him all the vile things Jerome did to him, his family and his friends (while still carefully avoiding the Couronne topic): he tells him of his sadism, villany and criminal actions, and Geoffrey does not believe a single word of what he’s saying. He straight up calls all these accusations lies, and he urges Ian to stop insulting a knight of England his peer and a man of honour deserving of respect. Geoffrey refuses to listen to any negative remark Ian has to make and threatens him with violence when he insists on calling Jerome an unworthy man. “Jerome wasn’t a liar”, he says; “he was my friend, and you killed him”. This is exactly what I meant when I said their friendship strikes me as extremely weird: I mean come on, really? Derangale was a textbook piece of shit. He was violent, vengeful, and arrogant, and yet Geoffrey describes him as a “man of honour”??? It almost seems as if he and Ian are not even talking about the same person??? The sadistic felon Ian met in Cairs is nothing like the friend Geoffrey has such a high opinion of. Which can only mean one thing, namely that when he was with Geoffrey, Jerome was on his best behaviour. And in order to have adapted his behaviour to fit Geoffrey’s expectations of a good and honourable friend, Derangale must have had a very clear picture of the kind of person his “friend” was. Jerome knew Geoffrey would never have allowed all that malicious shit to happen under his watch, so he decided to keep all his plotting a secret from him. Geoffrey never was Jerome’s accomplice in aiding Renaud de Dammartin, Ferrand de Flandre and Jean de Ponthieu steal the Montmayeur fief for king John, and therefore has no reason to believe Ian’s words. 

There are two things about this situation that strike me as particularly weird. First of all: Derangale wasn’t just witholding information from Geoffrey, he was also hiding his true nature from him. And Geoffrey…never noticed? Geoffrey, who can usually smell bullshit and deception from a mile away, who has no difficulty in telling a man of honour from a felon, who normally would not bother wasting his time being friends with such an insufferable prick, never managed to guess the true nature of Jerome’s character? Huh??? And secondly: why exactly did Derangale ask for help from a guy he was so sure he would never have been able to turn into one of his accomplices he had to actively keep parts of himself and his plans hidden for months up to the battle in Bouvines? What we know, thanks to Harald Martewall, is that Jerome was the first to reach out to Geoffrey back in book 1: apparently, the two of them used to be friends as young boys, then stopped seeing each other for a couple of years until Derangale decided to pick up the phone and give him a call. Geoffrey was in England, minding his own business, when Jerome contacted him to ask if he was willing to join him in Béarne. He, as sir Harald recalls, “was busy raising a cavalry troop for Ferrand De Flandre, and wanted my last-born as champion in a tournament”. It is not difficult to guess why Derangale asked specifically for Geoffrey to join his faction. Martewall is, simply put, the baddest bitch in the area: he is easily the scariest and most skilled warrior out of all the knights we get to meet in the saga, and an experienced tournament champion is precisely what Jerome needs for the little show he has in plan for Béarne. What I really want to know here is: couldn’t Derangale have called for literally any other English knight to help him win? Why did he risk enrolling a guy he knew would never have approved of his schemes and totally could have kicked his ass if he ever found out about his misconduct? Couldn’t he have called for a couple more champions who would have been overjoyed at the opportunity of beating the shit out of all those French knights? Why did it have to be just him and Geoffrey against the ENTIRETY of Philippe Auguste’s lineup? Why was he so confident in his ability to manipulate Geoffrey? Oh AND. This is an information that is nowhere to be found in the actual books but it is something I asked the author to confirm because I was just too curious: Geoffrey…did not have fun in Béarne, like at all. He did not care for the show Jerome wanted to put on, he did not enjoy participating in that display of strength and superiority, and he was grumpier than usual during the whole ordeal. So our man Jerome basically decided to rely exclusively on Geoffrey’s excellence and made him travel all the way to Béarne instead of putting together a slightly larger faction of fellows who could have maybe shared his immoral cause (like hello?????? it’s literally JUST the two of them against ALL the French nobles competing at the tournament lmfao??? I mean ok girl!!! give us drama! give us spectacle!) despite knowing that 1) he would have had to completely alter his behaviour around him 2) he could never have explained to him why he knew with absolute certainty Ian was an imposter and 3) Geoffrey would have intensely disliked being at the centre of theatrics. Like…I get that Geoffrey is your most skilled friend when it comes to the art of jousting, but… his presence is also a bit too inconvenient in this context? I mean really? You didn’t know any other knights in the area who could have been available as champions? You had to call for Geoffrey? Specifically for him? Haha girl ok! (oh and you also saved some of the custom higher quality blades you had made for your squadron to arm Geoffrey? Ok! Oh and you decided to pick Geoffrey as the other leader of your special squadron? Girl Ok!!! The guy would leave your ass in less than a second if he ever found out about your awful crimes so keeping him at your side is quite the risky move, but you do you I guess).

And another thing is, not only did Geoffrey hate every second of that charade, he (and this is also information that I got directly from the author) was downright shocked at Derangale’s unprompted act of violence against the young count of Grandpré… that was something that caught him completely off guard and that left a bitter taste in his mouth. It makes total sense for Geoffrey to feel this way, that’s very in character for him. What actually, really surprises me is Geoffrey’s reaction at hearing Ian mention this particular incident. You were there, says Ian, you saw Derangale attempt to kill a friend of mine with your own two eyes, and yet you insist on threatening me for calling him a criminal and an assassin. And that’s what finally prompts Geoffrey to lay hands on him. He silences him with a slap so violent it almost makes him fall on the ground. Geoffrey reacted with anger and disbelief when Ian was describing him heinous crimes that he never witnessed and did not believe to be true, but only resorted to physical violence when Ian forced him to acknowledge and condemn an action he actually saw Jerome commit. This brief scene alone is enough for me to confidently conclude that Geoffrey is, there are no other words fit to describe his current emotional state, deep in DENIAL. He hears an uncomfortable truth he has no way of denying, he lets that send him into a violent rage, he acts that violence out and then he ends the whole conversation there. He just. Leaves. And he repeats the same exact pattern of behaviour a second time! Book 2, chapter 12: Martewall starts to interrogate Daniel, who tells him about Derangale’s first attempt at kidnapping Isabeau AND manages to have one of his own men confirm his story. Then Geoffrey becomes visibly agitated, to the point he inadvertently breaks the rod he brought to beat information out of his prisoner in fucking two, CHANGES THE TOPIC OF DISCUSSION ON PURPOSE, and then when Daniel insists on bringing the conversation back to Derangale’s crimes he draws his sword, points it at him in another fit of anger and then! He LEAVES!! AGAIN!!! Bro???????????? You keep saying you “want the truth” and yet when you finally get it you cut the conversation off because you don’t like what you’re hearing? Hello???

“You insist on defending him only because you do not want to admit you have been lied to and manipulated by him”, this is what Daniel says to Martewall’s face, and the most articulate rebuttal he is able to come up with on the spot is “that is not true”. He absolutely did not expect to be confronted with such merciless answers, and he has no idea how to cope with Ian and Daniel ripping into the image of the good and honourable Jerome that only exists in his mind, so he just rejects anything negative they have to say and breaks things like a moody teenager.

His behaviour is extremely erratic. For the entirety of the first half of book 2, Geoffrey is clearly not his usual self. His own father tells him he does not recognize him anymore. And when Sir Harald confronts him and makes an attempt at urging him to release Daniel, Geoffrey reacts with something I would almost describe as a…temper tantrum? Sir Harald’s request for an explanation from his son is more than legit: after all, he just learned from Daniel that Geoffrey decided to kidnap a renowned nobleman on a whim, without any evidence of his supposed crimes, WITHIN THE BORDERS OF HIS FIEF IN FRENCH LANDS. That could get them in SERIOUS trouble with both his brother Guillaume de Ponthieu and Philippe Auguste himself, as Salisbury will later remark on. I mean, this action is not only dishonourable, as Sir Harald will be very quick to point out, but also extremely stupid. And Geoffrey is not stupid. Like, at all. He knows when to shut up, his rage is usually under check, he is not prone to acting out in anger or taking rash decisions. But here, Geoffrey is letting his emotions run rampant. His father is being perfectly reasonable, and he replies quite disrespectfully by stating that he is not a young boy anymore and that he will not allow for any reproach o interference on his part.

It should be noted that Geoffrey’s troubled state of mind is not solely the result of Jerome’s death. In fact, in chapter 12, Geoffrey makes it clear why he is so angry and frustrated. He lays out all of his reasons to his father:

“I’ve always done my duty and I lost my honour because of those to whom I owed my loyalty. I fought loyally until the very end, I paid my defeat with imprisonment, only to discover at my release that my name is associated to those of a friend deemed a felon and a king judged a coward; I return to my homeland and I end up on a list of traitors because of you! I am forced to be subject to the last two accusations, but the first…that one I intend to acquit myself from with any means necessary. At this point, I have already lost my dignity as a knight and you are the last person who can reproach me for it, since you are the one who dealt me the final blow”.

Geoffrey’s words reveal that he is also doing all of this for himself. He is now more desperate than ever to prove Jerome was always in the right, since this seems to be the only means of coping with the loss of his precious honour. The thought of having been friends with a felon of this magnitude is something Geoffrey could never, ever tolerate, because what would this say about him as a person? This explains the state of denial he currently is in: he has done something he would normally see as despicable by kidnapping Ian in his own lands, but he could excuse acting like a vulgar bandit if only he managed to force a confession out of Ian and avenge Jerome’s death (have I already mentioned Geoffrey has NO business being mad about Jerome meeting his demise at Ian’s hands? Dude was killed in fair combat. On a battlefield. Ian did not assassinate him or anything of that sort, there simply are NO good reasons as for why Geoffrey could ever want to “avenge” his friend’s death?? like there’s literally nothing to avenge here??? Lol???). And although Geoffrey is indeed defending Jerome’s honour because he feels that his crimes, if proven true, could reflect badly on himself, Geoffrey’s words still betray real attachment and a genuine feeling of affection for Jerome. Ian himself will later recognize their bond as valid by directly comparing it to the sentiment of friendship he shares with Daniel. At the time of Ian’s abduction, Geoffrey did not yet know that he would eventually be forced to fight yet another war once he’d finally reach his home: at that point in the story, Geoffrey’s motives for taking Ian and Daniel as prisoners had little to do with him wanting to gain back the honour he now feels his father tore from him by ordering him to side with him against their king. The primary motivation for his disreputable conduct in chapters 4 to 10 was, in my opinion, grief.

Another thing that I find extremely interesting and that in a way contradicts what I mentioned above about Geoffrey not being able to tolerate the thought of having been friends with a criminal, is that once he starts to come to terms with the proof of Jerome’s misconduct…he never disavows their friendship. What he says once he finally accepts Ian as his friend and lets go of Jerome’s obsession is: “I did everything in my power to honour our friendship, going even beyond common sense”. He never tries to claim they were never really friends or proclaim he wants to cut all ties with such a man. And towards the end of book 3, when Geoffrey and Ian are discussing what Ian’s exile really implicates and Ian is finally forced to admit he never was Jean de Ponthieu, Geoffrey all of a sudden brings Derangale into their conversation to reflect on how Jerome was right all along and how happy he is to learn that he at least did not lie to him about this one specific thing. Well, maybe I’m reading too much into this, but I was expecting him to focus on the sheer amount of lies he had been fed by…you know, Ian, the friend who happens to be alive and whom he is currently confronting. He does not even seem interested in asking Ian to explain himself, it is Ian who apologises to him, completely unprompted. They were having a conversation about Philippe Auguste and Guillaume de Ponthieu wielding the power to destroy his life, and after several beats of silence and intense consideration, what Geoffrey decided to say out loud was “I’m happy Jerome didn’t lie to me about you”? Ummmmmmm ok??????????? Lying to him certainly was not the worst thing Jerome has ever done? What about the many crimes he committed against Ian, his friends and his family? What I’m trying to say here is that Daniel’s argument about Geoffrey having been manipulated by Jerome must have cut deep, since here he is, bringing this up again. Derangale died more than two years ago, and Geoffrey already gave up on trying to redeem his honour and reputation, but he appears to be still in the middle of the process of learning to truly let him go. Dealing with the idea of having been deceived in such a cold way by a close friend to whom he though he owed unwavering loyalty is proving to be challenging. I might be delusional but I can only make sense of the fact Geoffrey brought Jerome into their conversation about Ian only to briefly touch on a strictly personal matter that concerned his own feelings and his private relationship with Ian’s old archenemy if I assume Geoffrey was, at this point in time, still dealing with some very intense and complicated feelings (….furthermore…………it doesn’t…really…make sense…for Geoffrey to be happy about Jerome telling him that Ian’s identity was a hoax…since the whole point of telling him that…was getting his help in destroying Ian and not really “being honest” with him…like…Geoffrey, love, why are you so desperately hanging on to these miniscule scraps of “““honest and genuine interactions”””, why do you still treasure this literal MICROSCOPIC CRUMB of “““sincerity””” on Jerome’s part…hello…………………???). Sorry but this whole Jerome/Geoffrey mess just exudes one-sided, unfulfilled and unacknowledged tenderness in copious amounts once you really start to read into it. My personal interpretation of the situation is that Geoffrey is having such a hard time trying to make sense of the extent of Derangale’s manipulation and condemning him as someone who was always undeserving of his friendship and devotion because he completely lacks the tools to properly analyse and interpret his own feelings on the matter.

2.2 Geoffrey and Ian vs Geoffrey and Jerome

I’m touching briefly on Ian and Geoffrey’s friendship dynamics in book 3 mainly because I think that their relationship will provide me with some good clues and parallels that could be of help in determining what Geoffrey was like when he was in Jerome’s company, since the third instalment in the series gives us such a wonderful and complete picture of the kind of friend Geoffrey is. Remember how Geoffrey immediately sided with Ian against Gant without asking for evidence against him and came to Ian’s rescue twice despite having very important businesses to attend to? Geoffrey has repeatedly shown that he has a tendency to be aggressively protective of his closest friends, to the point he has no problem resorting to extreme violence to ensure their safety (Ian, bleeding on the floor, gripping Geoffrey’s arm: “please tell me you took at least one of my assailants alive I’m going to need a witness???????” Geoffrey: “…” Ian: “…” The pile of corpses right behind them: “…” Geoffrey: “…sorry lol I kinda dealt with them in a bit of a heavy handed way” Ian: whimpers and collapses in his arms). Geoffrey’s attitude in regards to Ian’s enemies perfectly explains why he never had any qualms siding with Jerome against Ian despite the fact Derangale wasn’t telling him shit about the supposed evidence behind his outlandish claims. This is actually part of his regular pattern of behaviour: Geoffrey has consistently shown a thorough commitment towards undying trust and unconditional support through direct action. He might seem cold and aloof since he is never seen behave in an overtly friendly or approachable way when he is out in public (he also does not smile ONCE throughout the whole trilogy), but this right here is, in my opinion, a very affectionate man who is capable of forming true and intimate bonds with a handful of hand-picked men whose company he deeply treasures. Let’s talk about how Geoffrey U-turned at the speed of light to go back and help Ian corner Gant even though he was in the middle of carrying out an extremely important mission for Blanche of Castile. Let’s talk about how Derangale did not even have the time to fall to the ground after Ian delivered him the finishing blow, because Geoffrey literally teleported behind him to catch him, hoist him on his horse and take him to safety (let’s also talk about how Ian later found Derangale’s corpse among those of all the abandoned fallen soldiers the imperial army was not able to retrieve, and saw that his dead body had been laid on a shield with care, which means Geoffrey probably was the one responsible for preserving his dignity in death since we know for a fact he was there to hear Derangale’s last words and witness him die – I am literally about to start screaming please send help :)))))))). Do not let his grumpiness and harsh words fool you, Geoffrey is the most dedicated best friend another knight could ever ask for.

HOWEVER, the main difference between the two relationships I am comparing is that Geoffrey’s support of Ian is always unconditional, but never irrational in the same way his pursuit of revenge on Jerome’s behalf was, and at no point in the story does Geoffrey fail in evaluating Ian’s character or intentions. Furthermore, Ian’s gaslighting game was ON POINT in book 2, he was warping reality around Geoffrey like a damn magician, but Geoffrey never fully bought into his carefully crafted lies. And yet I am expected to believe that Derangale was such a skilled master manipulator he was able to conceal his true nature and agenda from Geoffrey for months? Hello??? PLEASE! Make it make sense!!! The ease with which Derangale was able to withold crucial information from him is extremely suspicious. Really? You mean to tell me Jerome Derangale had one of the least gullible people in the saga wrapped around his finger for years and never once slipped and misbehaved in front of him? Sorry I know at this point I must sound extremely redundant but Geoffrey’s selective blindness towards anything that concerns Derangale really is the weirdest thing ever, like, uh oh! Are you sure you didn’t catch any overly soft feelings for your bestie? So…I’m gonna say it: my theory on why Geoffrey’s behaviour was all over the place in the first chapters of book 2 is that he has always been completely unaware of the true nature and extent of his emotional attachment to Derangale, and this cluelessness of his contributed to worsening his already frustrated state. Furthermore, I also think Derangale must have noticed something was going on with Geoffrey and decided to use it to his advantage. Dude was a bit too confident, suspiciously confident in his ability to keep Geoffrey at his side without having to disclose any kind of compromising information.

In conclusion:

What I’m trying to say here is that I’m pretty convinced Geoffrey Martewall is not one of the straights. To sum all of this up, he:

-drinks astronomical amounts of his own extra strong brew of respect women juice on a daily basis

-has a tendency to get very attached to a few selected male friends who he then proceeds to protect with everything he has

-never noticed his old friend (👀) was lying to him, acted in a very out of character and erratic way for a while after his old friend’s (👀👀) death and was ready to commit actual crimes in an attempt to honour his old friend’s (👀👀👀) memory.

So. Yeah. The bi vibes are there. I would rather die than give up my Clueless Bisexual King Geoffrey Martewall headcanons! Sorry but a straight Geoffrey would make zero sense to me. Your honour can’t you see!!! this guy is WAY too cool not to be bi!!!

I rest my case.

P.S. I cannot BELIEVE I’m actually posting this monster on the day of the anniversary of the battle of Bouvines??? I swear I didn’t do it on purpose, at first I was really annoyed at the fact that putting this together was taking me weeks but then yesterday while I was editing I realized I would eventually be able to publish this on the very day Derangale died and Geoffrey was taken prisoner :’’) Perfect timing am I right?

[the-citrus-scale]

The Objectification of Billy Hargrove

Ever since the debut of Billy Hargrove’s epic lifeguard catwalk in season three of Stranger Things (which I totally didn’t watch again to write this article, even for science!), there’s been some debate in the fandom about whether or not this character was inappropriately objectified throughout his run on the show. While we understand the sentiment, we disagree in this case. And here’s why.

First, let’s take a look at the fandom’s biggest arguments on the subject. Certainly, almost every Billy moment from the series involves his body in some significant way. There’s a lot of focus on how he looks, and he’s on display often, which naturally leads to the idea of objectification. Also, most comments made by other characters about Billy are about his body, and, if no one’s talking about it, they’re definitely looking at it. The reason fandom is protesting is also significant, in this case. For one, they are understandably tired of seeing characters who are objectified simply for the sake of being objectified, male or female, because that adds nothing to a narrative. Add in that Billy is also a younger character and it's easy to see why people are upset. He’s eighteen in the third season of Stranger Things, but might have been seventeen in the second season. Though either age is technically legal in Indiana, and eighteen is legal in the United States overall, this is a gray area for a lot of people. Either way, Billy is definitely a teenager, and some are not okay with teenagers being objectified, whether they’re legal or not. The biggest (and loudest) issue, though, seems to be that most of the people we see objectifying Billy in Stranger Things are middle-aged women, which gives a predator/prey vibe to a lot of those interactions.

So, you may wonder how, based on all of that, we could possibly disagree with the idea of Billy being objectified in Stranger Things. Well, the answer is quite simple. We disagree that Billy is being objectified because of the characterization and, more importantly, the purpose behind all of these elements in the narrative.

The key point is that Billy Hargrove wants to be objectified. It’s part of his character. Everything he does screams that he wants to be noticed, and everything he says is designed to establish his dominance and make whoever is around him uncomfortable. He wants men to be jealous that they’re not him, and he wants women to swoon because of him. And his primary way of getting the kind of attention he craves is by putting his body on display. Think about it. He drives a flashy car. He dresses so that people will look. He didn’t accidentally put on the tight jeans and the muscle shirt in the morning. He didn’t forget his shirt when he went to basketball practice. He didn’t trip and get his mullet permed before he got his job at the pool. Just look at all the trouble he goes to in the season two scene where he’s getting ready for a date that really doesn’t seem to matter that much to him. And when he does that lifeguard walk, he knows that every woman is looking at him. He enjoys it, because that’s what he wants.

Billy is also physically imposing and demonstrates it frequently. He wants to be seen as better than everyone else and will go to any lengths to prove it. He steals Steve’s Keg King title, wearing only his leather jacket, of course, at Tina’s party. He shows off his superior basketball skills, again making sure he’s shirtless so that people will look. He mentions his sexual prowess when he’s in the shower in the men’s locker room. At home, he lifts weights to maintain his physique. He gets into his epic fight with Steve at the end of season two, showing that he’s not afraid to be violent if it gets him what he wants.

And if he can’t intimidate someone physically, he does it with words. In particular, he flirts with Mrs. Wheeler because it makes him feel powerful. Although she clearly enjoys it to a certain degree, she’s also uncomfortable. During the pool scene in season three alone, Billy pushes and pushes until she agrees to meet him. Mrs. Wheeler tries to refuse several times, but he just won’t take no for an answer. There’s definitely something predatory going on, but Mrs. Wheeler isn’t the predator. The predator is Billy. She’s the prey. He’s completely in control of that situation. His age makes it confusing for the audience, but that doesn't negate Billy's purpose in the prose. He is the villain. The end.

Basically, all of this characterization serves a purpose. Billy needs to be an immediate presence when he arrives in Hawkins to stand out against all of the crazy stuff that’s already happened there, for one. He’s the human villain of the series, especially during the second season. If he wasn’t brash and bold and strutting around like a peacock sticking his nose in everybody’s business, he wouldn’t be able to fulfill that role. He would just be another kid at Hawkins High who didn’t really have anything to do with anything.

More importantly, all of Billy’s behavior in season two sets us up to recognize how abnormal his behavior is in season three after he’s possessed by the Mind Flayer. The kids even make a comment about how unusual it is to see him with his shirt on in the show. It’s how they start to realize that something is wrong with Billy. If Billy hadn’t been strutting his stuff before season three, the differences would have been far too subtle to notice, especially because the kids don’t spend a lot of time around Billy. It even took them a while to realize that Will was possessed in season two, and he was someone they were around literally all the time. If the kids couldn’t have guessed that Billy was the vessel of the Mind Flayer, the plot wouldn’t have been able to progress the way it did. It was essential that Billy be who he is for the story to happen the way it was meant to.

But listen, we’re not in favor of objectifying characters just for the sake of objectification, and  just because you enjoy looking at a character doesn’t automatically mean that they’ve been objectified. Yes, a lot of the Stranger Things fandom is thirsty for Billy Hargrove, but not because anyone writing Stranger Things intended it that way. In Billy’s case, they wrote a character who had certain traits that he needed to have for the story he was in, and people happened to be attracted to him after the fact. We’re not saying that some of the themes present in his arc aren’t uncomfortable, but he’s not being objectified, and that’s that.

[countessdankula]

Helion and Mor - A study in bisexuality

(Warning - long rambling ahead)

Honestly, this rant has been coming for a long while.

I have been reading discourse on tumblr and instagram about the LGBTQ+ representation in Maasverse (which, admittedly, isn’t as satisfactory as it could be) and one ubiquitous point that I see being raised everywhere is:

“Helion’s representation is biphobic.”

And I am sick of this opinion being pervasive, because while I do believe that problematic portrayal should be addressed, I also understand that in chasing diversity and healthy representation, one often leaves nuance behind. This issue is endemic to the social science and activism field as a whole, and it is way too easy for many to be carried away. 

Here’s a thing about me - I am in law school, and in each and every social science course, I have to study an entire chapter on how nuance and context matters as the line between course material and propaganda is extremely fine.

Keep nuance and context in your minds as I proceed to argue that claiming that Helion’s representation is biphobic does a disservice to bisexuality and Helion’s own character.

The three of them in bed...with him? I must have been blinking like a fool because Rhys said to me, Helion favours both males and females. Usually together in his bed. And has been hounding after that trio for centuries.

(450-451, ACOWAR)

What I take away from this is that Helion is bisexual and likes to have multiple sexual partners at the same time. I could even hazard a guess that he’s polyamorous, however, it is important to remember that romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different and interact with each other in multiple ways.

Helion was in a loving relationship with Lucien’s mother, and from what I can infer from the source material, he still feels deeply about her, even if the affair was in the past.

He might have had multiple romantic partners during this period, but the point remains the same:

Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are expressed differently, and sometimes, independently of each other.

Case in point:

“No.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “No. I don’t...You see...” I’d never seen her at such a loss for words. She closed her eyes, fingers digging into her skin. “I can’t love him like that.”

“Why?”

“Because I prefer females.”

For a heartbeat, only silence rippled through me. “But -- you sleep with males. You slept with Helion...” And had looked terrible the next day. Tortured and not at all sated.

Not just because of Azriel, but...because it wasn’t what she wanted.

“I do find pleasure in them. In both.” Her hands were shaking so fiercely that she gripped herself even tighter. “But I’ve known, since I was little more than a child, that I prefer females. That I’m ...attracted to them more over males. That I connect with them, care for them more on that soul-deep level....

(588-589, ACOWAR) (emphasis mine)

As far as sexual attraction is concerned, Mor is canonically bisexual. And through a study of canon text, it’s evident that romantically she is oriented more towards females. If I may hazard a guess, I would propose that Mor is bisexual homoromantic. (@shadowhand-essek has written a wonderful meta on Mor, do read it.)

Then what is my deal with the whole “Helion’s portrayal is biphobic” claim, you may ask?

Bisexuality is a spectrum.

I am grey asexual and biromantic, who currently prefers men over women. I am monogamous and not interested in threesomes. And I am still on the bi spectrum.

Sexuality has various components, and is expressed differently by different people at different times. Mor is sexually attracted to males and females, yet she connects to females on a deeper level. Her sexuality is valid.

Helion is bisexual and likes to have threesomes. Guess what? That doesn’t make him any less of a bisexual, not does it imply that his portrayal is biphobic.

Look, I know, the stereotyping is nasty and harmful. Yet, as a bi person, I don’t find Helion to be a problematic bisexual character as bisexual people who enjoy threesomes cannot be called biphobic. Bisexuality is a vast spectrum and the expression is myriad, and there is no correct singular way to be bi.

Moreover, to claim that Sarah is biphobic because of how Helion is written is to be carelessly ignorant and dismissive of her growth as a writer, especially when she has written a canonically bisexual character in the very same series!

Again, all bi people are valid bi people. Even those who prefer one gender over others all the time. Even those who are asexual. Especially those who identify as bisexual and like to engage in threesomes and foursomes.

I do not have an issue with Helion’s character, because I am extremely curious about him and would love to know more. And I do think that it;s time for us to accept bisexual people (and characters) who like to have sex with multiple people. 

To claim that Helion’s portrayal is biphobic seems to be a very narrow understanding of bisexuality in my eyes. And that, if I may be blunt, is a biphobic and ignorant stance.

What I do have an issue with is the ideological elitism I find in this fandom - I prefer to call it elitism because healthy critique way too often devolves into toxic mudslinging in the pursuit of ideological purity.

Ideological purity is a myth. No one can be perfectly woke, least of all the ones ‘cancelling’ everyone else.

I am not claiming that Sarah is a perfect writer, hells, I have found her writing problematic too, especially in ToG, starting from Rowan biting Aelin’s neck in HoF, to Manorian, a ship that I don’t ship much as it felt forced upon me, at best a casual sexual relationship.(And let’s not even talk about Manon proposing marriage to Dorian - way too OOC for me to accept). Gods, my babey bat boi Cassian was highly inappropriate and crossed a major line in Wings and Embers, and despite me being such unholy Nessian trash, he deserved that kick to the balls. Consent.

However, I do not like ideological elitism as it is condescending and dismissive of nuance and growth. Sarah listened to criticism and her writing has grown and matured, and I think that it’s mean to dismiss someone’s growth in the manner often seen in this fandom.

Discourse is important, debate is essential, dissing is trash.

And I love Helion.

[polymathart]

“Cass has no canonical interest in men.”

Does she? This post is not to bash anyone who disagrees. Nor is it to promote any sort of homophobia. I believe all healthy ships are valid and disapprove of ship hate and shipping wars. This is merely to posit a different opinion. If you do not wish to read, you are welcome to ignore this post.

People say Cass has “no canonical interest in men,” but if you think about it, the few men that she actually knows mostly are on tease / play fight level with her. Eugene and Lance aren’t “sweet and fluffy” to Cass. They’re snarky and goofy around her which annoys her. She’s never known anyone other than Rapunzel who is so wholesome and warm towards her.

Most of the men we have seen Cassandra interact with on screen (save for elders and authorities such as King Frederic, her father Cap, and Uncle Monty) have been either obnoxious and loud in her eyes (Eugene and Lance and Hookfoot), or have been hostile and demeaning to her (various ruffians and Hector).

To Cassandra, most of the men she has ever truly interacted with have been annoying or immature. (This may or may not also be off the fact that she had grown up with her father’s prejudice towards criminals.)

This is not to paint Cassandra as prejudiced against all men. She has grown to tolerate Lance, Eugene, and Hookfoot. That is clear. But she is just easily irritated by immature, juvenile people. Going off of what little the Series has provided us about Cassandra’s past, we can assume that she never had many friends to grow up with—male or female. She is still on the road to learning about opening up to people. Everyone she knew in Corona were just the beginning of that journey.

Cassandra has a liking towards the sweeter, softer, more wholesome and gentle ones. Rapunzel fits that category quite easily. However, there is another individual Cass knows who also fits that category—one who has been compared to and shares many characteristics with Rapunzel: Varian.

Since the start, Varian has been portrayed and almost universally received as an endearing, friendly, and soft individual. Four moments when his openness and concern for others shine most are in “Great Expotations” when he listens to and understands Cassandra’s desire to please her father, in “Rapunzel’s Return” when he admits his error and desire to make amends with Rapunzel, and in “Be Very Afraid” when he opens up to Rapunzel about his remorse and fears of his past, as well as listening to and comforting Rapunzel when she talks about her own fears of losing Cassandra. The final, most poignant instance of Varian’s kindness is in “Cassandra’s Revenge” when he begs Cassandra to reconsider her choices. It is one of his best moments: when he throws down his own shame and turmoil in an effort to show his friend that she is not alone and that she was in danger of losing herself as well as the everything she loved.

Cassarian shippers do not ship them out of contempt or denial of the possibility of Cassandra’s interest in Rapunzel or other women. We ship her with Varian when he is older because he is remarkably kind and gentle and overall sweet to everyone. He has that kind and loving smile just like Rapunzel has. Yes he is dorky and clumsy and impulsive sometimes, but he does not carry that suaveness or flirting personality as Eugene, Lance, or Andrew have. He tries to charm her once before but he never tries to puff himself up or “flex” himself to her.

Cassarian shippers see Varian as being the adorable, playful, unassuming, and helpful yet bold, righteous, mature, courageous, and curious young man he will be by the time Cassandra does return to Corona. Cassandra’s sharp, sassy nature will not be competitively butting heads with another sharp, sassy nature. Rather, she will meet a nature that is forgiving and patient while still not being malleable or breakable.

Cassandra is like Eugene—quick on the draw, cunning, and competitive but not abusive. Varian is like Rapunzel—patient, understanding, and eager to help others but never easy to take advantage of.

Once again, this is not to shame or start a fight with anyone. This is merely to put forth my very own opinion. I am open to criticism and debate whether publicly, privately, or anonymously.

Dominus vobiscum,

Polymath.

ADDENDUM

I think overall Cass just is attracted to softer and more sincere people.

Though she and Eugene bite at each other, she does show a certain bit of care to him when he is being truly humble. Like when she saw that he was genuinely hurt that Cap kept dismissing Eugene’s skills to be a guard. She actually reached out to him. When Eugene set off to look for Frederick and Arianna, she didn’t roll her eyes or anything. She admitted that even she was hoping he would pull through.

And never once when Rapunzel is having doubts about Eugene does she take it as an opportunity to chat it up with Rapunzel. I think Cass genuinely loves Eugene and Rapunzel being together not just Rapunzel being happy. That’d just be selfish. She cares that yes Rapunzel is happy but also Rapunzel is happy with the right person.

Cassandra showed interest when she realized how “graceful” Lance could dance. And I speculate that if she saw Lance taking care of Angry and Catalina, she would’ve smiled, too.

Cass didn’t like Andrew for his smooth talk but for his faux sentimentality and penchant for books. And she kept the rose because she actually kinda liked going on a date and treating her nicely, even if it was just a ploy.

And she shows no interest in Varian at all during the series. However, she did feel for him when Quirin first appeared. She smiled when Varian actually understood her issues with her father. And when Varian first called her a friend. And finally when she realized just how sincere and honest he was about the expo and impressing her rather than throwing a fit, she saw that Varian wasn’t some annoying teenager trying to charm her. He actually had substance and depth.

Rapunzel overall is the sweetest person Cass has ever known. Her happiness and compassion is what Cass grew to love. She isn’t used to seeing such character in people, especially in most guys. There’s a light that goes off in Cass’ heart when she’s with Rapunzel, yes. But when she finds other people with real feelings and wholesomeness, too, that same light turns on.

[bestofallhans]

Normal problems?

I liked the BBC’s adaptation of Normal People. I watched it fast, and felt nostalgic for those years of my own life in equal measure to realising how universal the feelings of self-doubt, discovery and searching are amongst the age group it depicts. But the more I think about it, the more I have issues with the story as a representation of sexuality, awakening, and the transition from childhood to adulthood. What initially feels like a very 2020 treatment of teenaged sex - lots of double checking on consent and mutual pleasure - is actually not all that egalitarian or progressive on second glance. Here’s how I saw it…

Her narrative arc isn’t clear

Initially, Normal People is the story of Marianne. She’s obnoxious to her teachers, arrogant to her peers and like many of us in that last year before university; she can’t hide her disdain for her small-pond hometown a second longer. So far, so relatable.

***SPOILERS FROM HERE ON!***

.

.

.

.

.

What troubled me though was not how far she came, but the opposite. In the last episode, she asks Connell’s mum what people think of her own mother. The answer is “she’s a bit odd”, and most certainly, we are directed to feel Marianne’s realisation of how similar they are rather than how different. Most of us over 30 might say we’ve had this moment. “There but for the grace of God….” mixed with the revelation that our parents are both human thus flawed, and that they were trying their best to give us more than they had - even if it really didn’t feel like it at the time.

But the problem is - I didn’t feel she had come very far. Only a few minutes before (admittedly 4 months in plot time), she was telling Connell he could do whatever he wanted to her. If there was something I wanted from Marianne at the end, it was the idea that despite appearances, she would put herself first. But she never does. Even in the final scene, she’s telling Connell that he should go do his thing, and she’ll stay put. She says they don’t know if they’ll wait for each other, but she doesn’t seem to offer much that she’ll be doing in the meantime, other than perhaps finding another poor substitute for Connell, who’ll either turn out to be abusive or a damp squib.

Her fierce intellect got her a scholarship, but we have no idea what she’s doing with it. Whilst Connell finds himself in multiple golden opportunity situations, the assurance Marianne had of her place in the world has disappeared and we haven’t even noticed.

My point is that the girls who get ‘A’s across the board at school are erased from professional success in the real world, and if this was supposed to be anything other than a mirror of that, it fails. Marianne’s intellect is erased before she’s even graduated. Now everyone recognises Connell’s brain, and she’s literally standing on the sidelines (when his triumphant literary journal is published).

Bechdale test: does not pass

In fact, we spend a lot of time listening to men speak and women allow them to. The only person who carries on referencing Marianne’s brain is ace friend Joanna. But this is poised with its own problems too. Joanna is bypassed for a sexual storyline, talked over by Jamie (albeit with a nonplussed side-eye), and even vocalises her own fate: “did we get married and become 50 without noticing?”

Which brings me on to the most disappointing element of the adaptation. I realise this is a romance, and thus our main concern is going to be, well, the lovers, but good lord do people think of nothing else? Even at 20, I was very aware that I wanted to have friends whose pants-contents I was not interested in. 

The frisson of meeting new people as an adult is definitely intoxicating, and for many people I realise that this is the first time they’ve been doing this stuff (I wasn’t far ahead) but the whole plot centred on who was in whom. 

Wait, it’s more nuanced than that - no female character was allowed an identity that did not reference her sexual choices: Marianne, Lorraine (“you were my teenaged mistake, son”), Peggy (“you could have a threesome with me”, “everyone’s saying she’s into S&M, was that your influence?”), Denise (defined by her violent ex and equally shitty son) etc, etc. 

Connell and several other male characters, some of who we know very little else about, have career prospects (Alan is doing well at work over family dinner), interests (debating, photography, writing) and friendships that don’t revolve around outing each other’s sexual proclivities (even poor Rob). This is based on a novel written by a woman. I’m disappointed her female characters can’t have an identity beyond their sex lives. 

Her sexuality is up for judgement, his is not

Then there’s this undercurrent of ‘why’ both Marianne and Connell are drawn back to each other. From about halfway through, I thought we were going to get a revelation about Marianne’s childhood; either her dad or brother or maybe both, had abused her. I thought I saw a few hints of this, but nothing transpired. 

The reason I am disappointed by this is nothing to do with ‘wanting’ there to be that storyline present. I felt that ‘the way’ Marianne ‘is’ was being judged. It’s easy to see a short jump from Jamie’s insecurity to him wanting to act out porn style sex to make himself feel powerful. But as she spirals into increasingly more detached relationships, I felt the judgement amp up. The sadder she is, the heavier the masochism gets. 

But, and I’m no expert, that isn’t how it works. If Marianne is expressing her preferences, they are not altered by her sadness. They do not represent her ‘broken-ness’ and will not go away when she’s ‘fixed’ or happy. Here, I found a deep misrepresentation of ‘normal sex’, that is both damaging to the viewer’s understanding of the breadth of sexual preferences and the plot. So, if she was asking for things she didn’t want - why no address that? We’re left believing that she only wanted to be hurt because she thought that was the only way she was attractive to whichever man. Neither is gives Marianne much agency. 

Connell on the other hand is a nice, normal boy who wants to have nice, normal sex. In fact, so little of his characterisation is about his sexuality, we only ever see him have sex with one other person - Helen. And it could be Marianne if you squint a bit. We aren’t asked to align Connell’s enjoyment of sex with his state of mind or his success as an adult. In fact, it’s a mistake that everyone forgives him for as a schoolboy - he was obsessed with people finding out he was with Marianne, and as Eric points out, “everyone knew” and no one even mentioned it. Whilst Marianne only experiences everyone’s judgement more as she gets older. 

Where does it leave us? 

I haven’t read the book. I don’t think anyone who made the series sat down and thought ‘let’s make this show shame female sexuality and erase female intelligence’. But this is the feeling I was left with. A beautifully shot, cast and acted piece of TV that doesn’t quite hit the mark on progressive attitudes to female agency isn’t a crime; but it’s a missed opportunity. 

[aparecium-muses]

Romance Headcanons.

→  repost, do not reblog.

Name: Gladion Spica Aether

Nickname: Stoneface, Quickdraw, Slimy snake, a badger in snakeskin ( due to his Hufflepuff tendencies )

Gender: Male

Romantic orientation: Bisexual

Preferred pet names: Truthfully if Gladion is going to get a nickname he’d rather get one that means something to the relationship he has with the person and not something random. He’d want it to have a meaning, for example, if Gladion was in a relationship with Neville he’d call him buttercup because of Neville interest in plants

Relationship status: Single in default verses 

Favorite canon ship(s): I m e a n there’s really no canon ships over here due to Gladion being a crossover in harry potter soooo ?? // tbh I can see him with a bunch of different people within the story though I adore the ship that I have with @doggedfather in the marauders verse I have for him. Her Sirius was the first-ever person that was with Gladion in a shippy like manner and that ship will always have a special place in my heart. <3  

Favorite non-canon ship(s) so far: excuse me as I sit over in my paper ship boat with Neville/Gladion... Also Susan Bones and Gladion idk I like that- RON AND GLADION FROM @broodingswan first-ever Ron I ever interacted with and that was just *chefs kiss* beautiful- @foxturned THEO AND GLADION AAAAA- tho we mostly just talked about the ship in private messages but my ass still write a smut fic for them... now I'm just rambling about all the ships I like whooops 

Opinion on true love: Is skeptical and has a hard time accepting that a person could ever love him for himself and not for his connection/ riches. He’s extremely wary of people who vide for his affections and more than not will attempt at pushing them away. Depending on the age that he’s at when this is happening there will be various levels of success.

Opinion on love at first sight: in his own words… “Complete and utter hippogriff shit,” He thinks it’s ridiculous and is more likely to believe it was lust at first sight then love. He believes a relationship has to grow from friendship to something more to be true love as what can a relationship be if you’re not friends with the person?

How ‘Romantic’ are they?: Depends on the day and where they’re at- He’s more likely to be overly romantic in private than in public though. He’s not one to do large gestures of his love as he thinks it’s too flashy and hates having people sticking their noses into his love life. His love life is a private affair, though he will do more public things to prove a point to others if they are trying to flirt with his significant other while he’s standing right there.  

Ideal physical traits: Truthfully he’s able to see the beauty in everyone and even in things that others might see as ugly or unsightly. He has a like for scars freckles and stretch marks, he’ll make it a habit to press kisses to them. He adores soft hair and has the tendency to comb his fingers through his lover’s hair. He’s very reverent of it all, of what people call imperfections he adores them. It stems from the fact his mother always tried for perfection and true beauty which is what causes him to be attracted to people who others would call average, ugly, or not the pinnacle of beauty.

Female: He likes brown hair on women for some reason; any shade really he thinks it looks nice. It’s likely that he’ll find himself with a woman who is family-oriented and nurturing. A woman who is equal footing with him in magic (or more powerful than him) as he wants to be safe in the knowledge that his partner can protect herself without him there. He’s more likely to find himself with a woman who is more dominant then he is at times as he grows tired of having to take the lead in things. 

Male: he likes Green or Brown eyes along with blond or black hair. He’d go for a man who is loyal to those he sees as family or friends and is protective of them; along with being family-oriented/ nurturing. He’d choose someone who is of equal footing with him in magic (or more powerful than him) as he wants to be safe in the knowledge that his partner can protect himself without him there. He’s more likely to find himself with a male partner with a dominant streak.

Ideal personality traits: Loyalty is the trait he respects the most along with a person who understands who to give that loyalty too. He loves passionate and ambitious people who he can talk with about their ambitions. He’s also attracted to people with dry humor and a boatload of sarcastic remarks in their pockets who he can vocally spar with. Not that these traits are necessarily needed in a relationship but he wants them to have some passion.

Unattractive physical traits: Nothing much except people who are unkempt and don’t bath as much as they should.

Unattractive personality traits: weak of will, overly arrogant ( only time arrogance is acceptable is when they are using it in an ironically joking way or to goat someone )  know it all personalities ( yes, yes little Gladion would have a huge beef with mini Granger let me tell you but I still ship it with @therearemoreimportanthings )

Ideal date: Private places where it’s just him and his date. Be It in the library, in secret rooms within the castle, out in a less populated place in Hogsmeade or even outside in the forest. He wants to have deep conversations with his date, speaking on anything and everything- sometimes likes to do debates or just listen to them speak about their passion

Do they have a type?: Loyal, family-oriented, passionate, and ambitious- that’s all folks!

Average relationship length: Is very likely to try to hold on to a relationship until the end. Will only let go if he’s aware of the emotional decay and wouldn’t want his partner to leave on bitter terms. When breaking up with a partner I feel like more times then not both parties are able to be friendly with each other after some time apart.

Any secrets that have been told Gladion will keep to the grave even if they break up and Gladion expects the same from his partner. If his secrets are revealed or his partner cheated on him then sorry buddy your own secrets will be put on blast so everyone and their mothers in France would hear about it....

Preferred non-sexual intimacy: He’s a pretty handsy guy once his partner gives the okay for it. More likely than not in public he’ll always have a hand on them wherever they go,( Hand holding, hand on their back, an arm around their waist etc. ) In private he’s a bit of a tease with his touches ( they’re feathery light and prone to make a person shiver ) and has a tendency to whisper sweet nothings into their ear as they snuggle.

Commitment level: Ride or die kinda man when he’s with a trustworthy partner. Loyal to a fault with eyes only for them, ( unless they both talked extensively with bringing another person in on their relationship ) He’s willing to do almost anything for them if they only ask him of it. Would kill a man no questions asked for their partner.  

Opinion of public affection: If he’s the one doing the affectionate teasing he’ll be smug along with a tad prideful at his partner’s reactions. Now if the tables are turned he will be completely and utterly embarrassed by their actions. He’s the very epitome of unable to take what he dishes out. Will melt into a puddle if his partner starts bragging about him to other people ie “this is my boyfriend Gladion- he’s amazing!” etc  someones got a praise kink whoop s

Past relationships?: None in the default verse. Really his default verse is quiet sad, he’s all alone and I feel so bad... Though a lot of my default verses I don’t give my character friends- partly because if I pick a canon character to be their friend I don’t want someone else who plays that character to feel pressured into being friends with my character. The same line of thought to the romantic side of things, which is why more then not they have never dated anyone else before.

Tagged by: stolen ayyyy

Tagging: Uhhhh tagging everyone that I mentioned in this post- YOLO 

[dawnfelagund]

So I just listened to your presentation about the Tolkien fandom - which is really good btw, very informative - and the point that transformational fanfiction is mostly female got me thinking (mainly bc in my experience fanfiction in general seems more female, I have knowingly read only three authors who identified as male). Do you think that's bc most fandoms have a distinct lack of fem characters, so fem writers have an incentive to write transformational fics that male writers don't?

Oh my, oh my this is such a good question that I fear I will not answer it as well as it deserves. But I’ll try!

(Here is the presentation mentioned in the ask, for anyone who wants context. Both video and text are available at the link.)

Why transformational fandom trends female is complicated and has been the subject of much discussion/debate since the advent of fanfic studies back in the early ‘90s. Early scholarship focused on women using fanfic to expand the original texts so that the better reflected the women/author’s own experiences, especially where emotions and relationships were concerned. From Jenkins’ Textual Poachers (1991):

Fans want not simply internal consistency but also what Ien Ang has described as “emotional realism.” Ang (1985) suggests that Dallas fans viewed the program not as “empirically” true to real-world experiences of upper-class Texans but rather as “emotionally” true to the viewers’ personal lives…. (107)

Female readers entered directly into the fictional world, focusing less on the extratextual process of its writing than on the relationships and events. … The female reader saw her own “tacit inferences” as a legitimate part of the story …. Moreover, male readers tended to maintain the narrative’s pre-existing focus on a central protagonist, while female readers expressed a greater eagerness to explore a broader ranger of social relationships …. (108-9, citing David Bleich [1986])

Camille Bacon-Smith, author of Enterprising Women (also 1991) writes:

Fanwriters, like soap opera fans, want to see characters change and evolve, have families, and rise to the challenge of internal and external crises in a nonlinear, dense tapestry of experience. Whether because of innate qualities or socialization, women perceive their lives in this way, and they like to see that structure reproduced in their literature. The writing experience becomes one of participation in the lives of the characters. (64)

Jenkins and Bacon-Smith really established fanfic studies as we know it, so I include these ideas to show how foundational they are and, I believe, underlie more recent resistant/reparative motives. Underlying this early assumption is that mainstream media and literature doesn’t represent the experiences of women, so we have to create it ourselves. Hence what we’d now call transformational fandom: the shifting of authority onto the fanwriter to rework a fictional universe according to her own experience of reality. I think this holds true in Tolkienfic fandom, although it is more complex than the theories above (rooted in media, not book, fandom) suggest, in that my research shows that Tolkienfic authors engage in much more negotiation with canon details and (most importantly) Tolkien’s authority. In other words, they care about how to create that “emotional realism” but within the confines of the canon, which many would take to include Tolkien’s views, unstated in the texts, on the canon and even his moral prerogatives.

My sense is that there is a definite connection between the early ideas of women creating fanworks to see their realities and experiences represented in the fictional universes they love and the present-day idea of fanfiction as a form of resistant reading. (Here, I am perfectly willing to have my hand smacked by people better versed in fan studies history if I’m mangling or missing key pieces of the relationship between these two schools of thought. Just speak up.) Because part of the experience of being a woman is opening a history book and not seeing the lives of women represented or going to a film where women usually make up a minority of the cast (and are often cast into stereotyped roles). Part of our experience as Tolkien fans is coming to terms with our love of a book (LotR) where, to borrow the wince-inducing stat cited by Una McCormick, there are more named horses than women. (The Silmarillion fares better in terms of named women but still isn’t great, as I have argued elsewhere, in providing those named women with roles and agency equal to that of the men.)

(Here I’m going to focus on the Tolkienfic fandom. I know your question was broader than that, but I study the Tolkienfic fandom, and as a fan, I’m monofandom myself, so I’m hesitant to speak about the norms and practices in other fandoms, nor am I as familiar with their scholarship. Others with insights about other present-day fandoms, please do add on.)

Una McCormick has a fabulous essay in Perilous and Fair that positions Tolkienfic as a form of what she calls “reparative reading”:

The complexity of such reading and writing practices and the ambivalence of the creative labor involved in making repairs upon such texts have driven some women readers to find a presence for themselves in The Lord of the Rings through writing fanfiction as a creative-critical response to Tolkien’s text. By weaving female characters into the familiar narrative, or else focusing upon marginalized characters such as nurses, servants, and non-combatants, these authors write themselves–or those like themselves–into the events of the War of the Ring. (310)

Una is a fanfic writer herself and a Tolkien scholar, and her work is unique in this sense, because she is intimately familiar with the Tolkienfic community as a participant and also because she has written one of the rare fanfic studies pieces focusing exclusively on our fandom. However–and I don’t think Una would disagree–reparative reading is just a part of Tolkienfic fandom, so I don’t think it fully explains the “transformational is female” trend. It is certainly part of it. My survey data shows a strong interest among Tolkienfic authors; 78% agree that “Writing fan fiction lets me explore the perspectives of female characters.” (80% of readers “like reading fan fiction about female characters.”)

What is interesting is that there is not a big difference in how women and men respond to the statement “Writing fan fiction allows me to explore the perspectives of femalecharacters.” 78% of women agreed; 73% of men agreed. Where there is a significant difference: 90% of nonbinary survey participants agreed with this survey item. (It’s worth noting that the sample of men was small. Less than 4% of survey participants identified as male.)

I also feel that I have to note that, historically, Tolkienfic fandom has had contingents hostile to including women characters in Tolkien-based fanfiction. Many who started in the fandom when I did (mid-2000s) will remember when “OFC = Mary Sue” (itself a term that I find sexist since the number of scrawny, nerdy dudes who become superheroes in comics attests that adding a dose of Awesome to a whopping pile of Ordinary is not inherently deserving of derision), and many people avoided writing women characters because they were a flame magnet. Key to this piece of history, too, is that, in my experience, the detractors and bullies of creators who wrote about women? Were, like the rest of the Tolkienfic fandom, a majority women. This was not guys trying to preserve a boys-only treehouse in the canon; this was women policing other women’s production of fanfiction, often using the canon itself as a tool to do so.

It’s also worth noting that changes in fandom perception of women characters has been due to the concerted effort of fans to draw attention to sexism in the canon and in the fandom and to celebrate fanworks that feature strong women characters. @vefanyar‘s concept of the textual ghost is the prime example in my mind, in that she not only drew attention to the problems in the canon–simply scrolling through her Textual Ghost Project is a visually provoking experience–but the potential for fanworks creators to address those problems in the reparative way that Una McCormick identifies. @vefanyar, among others, has paired this work with the canon with a concerted, years-long effort to encourage and celebrate fanworks about Tolkien’s women, creating a climate where, finally, it feels like writing about women comes with more rewards than risks.

So. To conclude. I think that the scholarship, my data, and my own experience as a Tolkienfic author/archive owner points to an answer to “Why is transformational fandom overwhelmingly female?” in the context of Tolkienfic fandom, as: It’s complicated. Yes, some of us are working to address the inequality both in the number and quality of female characters in the canon. But as my presentation states, this is just a partial picture because Tolkienfic fandom is not fully transformational, and women are attracted to this fandom for reasons that have nothing to do with establishing gender parity in the canon. I earlier held up the stats of 78% of authors (and 80% of readers) enjoying fanfiction about women to suggest that there is an interest in telling women’s stories in the fandom, but I’d also say that the one in five not interested (or not sure if they’re interested) in stories about women aren’t insignificant. This is still a sizable contingent of the fandom, a majority of whom are women. The desire to produce transformational fanworks runs deep in women fans and may hearken back to Jenkins’ and Bacon-Smith’s broader ideas about women’s experiences, may suggest a difference in how girls/women are socialized, may reflect barriers to entering more affirmationally oriented fan communities, or may come down to something else (like the social/community aspect of fandom) entirely.

[thecockandcarrot]

Convenient Universal Timing

I was hangry at myself this morning for not being an early rising productive human. Like anyone who hasn't finished putting together their upcoming art exhibit would be. Don't get me wrong I woke up at a decent time and made a delicious smoothie. Or sometimes, I tell myself it's delicious because I'm too broke to dump out all the organic ingredients I use.

So after rummaging through the fridge, for the third time, I decided I would make a run to the local upscale grocery store (Contradicting?…Slightly). You know! Because deep down inside after years of programming from stupid, hopeless romantic movies. I longed to casually bump into my soulmate while out and about, seamlessly starting a conversation that leads to a coffee date and, ultimately, marriage. Within a one and half hour time frame of course. Self-centered and shallow? Most definitely.

Side note: I wonder if there's any correlation between sexual orientation and pre-pubescent/young adolescent males growing up watching romantic movies. In which the main character falls in love with a man. Anyone? 

Anyways, let's get back to the main biscuit and gravy of this post. 

LAW OF ATTRACTION. Did you see that coming? Me neither this morning! When I was dumbstruck by an experience I had at the grocery store that I had some time to reflect on while munching down on my bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich. 

Sir Kensington's "Special Sauce," not all that great by the way, if you happen to find yourself in sauce aisle at Wegmans. 

I really hope they aren't studying the shopping habits of people in grocery stores. Because if they did, they would probably wonder why the heck I shop like I am visiting from another country. I swear I have no actual route I follow. It's as if I am subconsciously throwing together recipes in my head as I am wandering around. Taking things off the shelf, then trekking back to the other side of the store to put things back. A MESS. Well, not really, at least I have the decency to put my items back where grabbed them from. 

This morning though, I was in the aisle where I picked up the bottle of Sir Kensington's Special Sauce when I overhead a couple looking for the store brand organic ketchup. The woman hastily said, "I don't get it, it's not where the ketchup and mustard is, and it's not with the other sauces!" The husband seemed uninterested and a bit exhausted of this marathon ketchup babbling. So I lingered a bit looking over in her direction. Part of me was trying to see if I could locate it for her, and the other part of me wanted to point out the limited ingredients brand I use. I couldn't remember if it was organic or not, and the label was obscured from where I was standing. Still, deep down inside, I really wanted to recommend it to her.

So I slipped into my fantasy world, as I usually do, to summarize different scenarios with different outcomes based on my intuition. I concluded that because I wasn't one hundred percent sure if the ketchup was organic or not, I wasn't going to interject. I had this gut feeling the woman would respond by contorting her face in disgust. And in a condescending tone utter "That's not organic!" out of her paper-thin lips. 

To which I would respond, "Ok, Karen! I get it, sorry for opening my mouth. Do you want me to get the manager?" Then roll my eyes and walk away. She definitely had “can I speak to the manager” vibes fuming out of her. 

So I strolled away and continued zig-zagging through the store. I really needed almond milk creamer, so of course, I made my way through the coffee aisle to pick up a bag of ground beans. I also needed to grab one of my co-worker's favorite powdered creamer for our mini under desk coffee station. Which, as it turned out, they didn't carry. 

It happened again! I became acutely aware of a nearby conversation. I overheard a woman and her boyfriend debating or not if they should purchase a bottle of KITU coffee with MCG oil, which stands for medium-chain triglycerides. I really wanted to jump in and say, "YES! Buy it!" And dive into facts about the use of MCG's and how beneficial it has been for me. Just as I began my 10,000 reels of possible outcomes, they walked away. 

So I asked myself, "Why did you get so excited to help in those last to instances?" 

"Why did you feel the need to interject your existence into the lives of four complete strangers?"

"What are you needing?" 

"Human connection!" I instinctively yelled out in my mind. As my eyes simultaneously enlarged and I half smiled at the level of self-awareness I had at that very moment. 

*You develop a sense of gratitude for therapy when you are witness to the evolution of your own internal dialogue and emotional maturity.*

That moment lasted all but two seconds, and I proceeded to finish my own personal marathon in the grocery store. I was making my way down the frozen aisle reasonably quickly because I didn't want to make any more stops and I need to get home to get some painting in. As I neared the end of the frozen section, I heard a small, frail voice mumble something from my eight o'clock. I halted. Looked back and saw a petite woman in her late sixties or seventies with her forearms almost pressed against her chest and hands curved inwardly. I walked up to her and asked if she needed assistance with anything? She very sheepishly said something, but I managed to hear her say broccoli and cheese. So I looked up and grabbed her the frozen box of broccoli and cheese. 

I also grabbed a couple boxes of frozen corn at her request. Her cart was nowhere in sight, so I helped her arrange the boxes in her arms so that they would not fall out on to the floor. She was attempting to explain that her arthritis made it very difficult for her to grab anything. I reassured her there was no need to explain anything I was happy to be of service to her. I did offer to walk the items back to her cart, but she assured me she could manage and that her husband was around the corner. There was an air of concern imprinted in my head, but I trusted her confidence. 

As I rolled my cart away, I went into self-reflection mode. To the onlooker, I may appear to be staring directly at them or look utterly oblivious to my surroundings. Nothing exists around me when I am in this mental space as I try to connect the dots of an entire experience I am attempting to draw meaning from. So there I was, walking through my own parallel mental dimension, and I came to a simple conclusion.

In both instances, before helping the women grab items, the need I wanted to fulfill was more than human connection. I believe I had a spontaneous need to be of service to someone. One could argue that maybe my subconscious foresaw that moment and was drawn by this unexpected call for help, which was initially masked by hungry stricken grocery run.  

That possibly, I had an emotional response but constrained myself in the two situations that led up to the moment; that actually required me to take action.

Like a mini-mission from the universe. Testing my ability to really listen and become a silent witness to the data mine streaming all around me. What we call reality or human experience. 

Is recognizing this moment a result of me turning off all music and T.V.? Which is a challenge I imposed on myself for my upcoming art exhibit. Contrary to the name "Under the Influence," this is very much the space this exhibit explores. Being under the influence of silence. Silence from all external visual and auditory stimulations that we are accustomed to overdosing ourselves with daily. Had I jumped in the shower, blasted music, ran out of the house to run errands skipping breakfast altogether like I usually do. Would I have responded to this call for help? Maybe, it wasn't even a call for help I responded to, but just an ordinary grocery with convenient universal timing. 

Is human connection the gift of silence? Or a link to a more insightful version of myself? Does muting mainstream stimulation strengthen a sixth sense we are naturally born with? 

I am intrigued, to say the least, and I am looking forward to painting this evening. What I am most appreciative of is that this interaction with a complete stranger motivated me to dive into self-reflection and write about my experience. I have been trying to gather the strength and energy to sit down and write a blog post like I used to do regularly but always found an excuse not to.

So, to the universe and the women who asked me to help her this morning. Thank you.

[josiebulat]

Politics & Power in Television Entertainment - New Yorker Festival panel

Whether we like it or not, politics are everywhere. You, as a citizen of a political nation, have the power to ignore politics (plus the scandals and drama that follow it), yet you risk falling behind in society. Avoiding politics is like avoiding technological advancements: eventually you will have to take notice and accept them. For instance, think about the transition from radio to television. Radio was, and still is, a force to be reckoned with – there is music, news, dialogue and more, catering to so many different tastes and audiences. As Marilyn J. Matelski states, radio had a “reputation as a valued citizen” (12) and I believe it still holds this reputation. However, the popularity of radio has declined since the introduction of televisions. Television has become “the room, the house, and the world” (Thomson 13), meaning every part of our lives are affected by these ever-present rectangles. They bring us everything radio does, but provide visuals along with the audio. Sound alone was not enough for audiences to remain encapsulated so television has therefore thrived.

Watching television is a form of entertainment, a way to escape our current lives and live through someone else’s, whether that be a fictional character’s narrative or real person’s problem. So by this suggestion, politics becomes a form of entertainment when placed on television. Politics, specifically those involving the President of the United States, have thrived when using technology. According to Michael Carpini, the radio was heavily used for politics in the 1940s. It began as a way to gather public support during the war and boost spirits, but was then used to address common political issues and address the public more directly (28). Then it became clear to Presidents that television reached the largest amount of people because it was always “on”, so it became the new form of communication to the masses. I was reminded of this fact while watching the New Yorker Festival panel and specifically listening to Armando Iannucci. When asked why television show plots are becoming more focused on politics, he stated that people are always hungry for political conversations. The issue is that these audiences are so “detached from DC” so they turn to TV (30:01). Television bridges this gap for people, allowing them to feel involved with the political world unravelling around them without actually leaving their house. It makes politics more accessible and thus more attractive, especially for those who are initially opposed to participation. For instance, I do not read the newspaper or stay actively involved in politics, but I am on Facebook and the Internet every day. These new mediums help me stay involved with politics by extracting the important parts of stories or news and providing it to people (like myself) in a condensed way. This is the “redactional society” (402) John Hartley refers to, where bundles of information are edited for the public to consume easily. Television shows, like the ones created by this Festival panel, redact politics in their own way by building characters and plots similar to the current political sphere, but only including the most interesting elements. They understand that an audience hungers for a plot revolved around a sex scandal in the White House more than a plot revolved a Parliament passing a bill.

The interesting thing about politics being on television is that it follows the same format as other shows or content such as the News. David Thomson suggests that the news has to be “drastic, disastrous, or worse” (223) in order to keep audiences engaged. The News almost needs to resemble an action movie to keep people watching, otherwise one click of the remote brings people to the next entertaining show. While watching the Festival panel, Robert King talks about the political attitudes amongst their own show’s writers. He describes how having great anger and emotions from both left-wing and right-wing people creates something interesting, but having all the problems solved and settled is boring (17:43). This applies to politics on television because viewers want to see politicians arguing and upset because it is more dramatic and entertaining. For instance, many people tuned in to watch the debates between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, not necessarily to hear their platforms but to witness the two politicians make jabs at each other and dispute. King’s suggestion even relates to fictional political shows because there needs to be action and arguments for viewers to remain interested in the plot. Like Iannucci claims during the panel discussion, “as long as [a TV show is] entertaining” and people “have access to it, then they’re happy” (34:53).

What was interesting about the New Yorker Festival panel was that the three fictional shows had female leads (The Good Wife, Scandal, and Veep). This is important to me because often times politics is viewed as a man’s world. There has never been a female President before, for instance. These female characters drive the plot of shows that attract millions of viewers each week, and although they are not real people, these series demonstrate how real women are powerful. Armando Iannucci explains how he chose a female lead because ���female politicians are treated differently in the media” (39:50) which has become quite evident in recent years with Trump. Recall the “Grab her by the pussy” scandal and how the media and voters practically shrugged off Trump’s actions. Then recall the accusations about Hillary hiding emails and suddenly no one can forgive and forget. Female politicians are supposed to be playing the same game as male politicians, however it appears the rules of the game differ between the two sexes. Television shows like Veep, Scandal and The Good Wife demonstrate well how women have to navigate the political world in a different and, in my opinion, tougher way.

When asked if their shows were created with any “mission statements” or goals in mind, the Festival panel had various answers. Shonda Rhimes’ description of her show’s theory about politics stuck out most to me. She stated that politics is a show for everyone and it is something everyone is supposed to believe is so great and wonderful, yet under all the glamour and television spectacle there is misery and deceit (1:03:47). This is essential to my understanding of power and politics in television – in this case, seeing is not believing. What is presented on television is an edited and perfected version of what politicians want audiences to believe is true. Politics is a dirty game and sometimes television makes it seem fun, but things are not always what they seem. The panel discussion makes me question at the end of the day, is society actually invested in politics or are we just invested in entertainment disguised as politics? I argue that society prefers the latter because it is fun and engaging, and these fictional television shows support my belief.

[girl4music]

Debate: Is Gabrielle gay or bi?

I wanted to talk about something a lot of Xenites seem to have different opinions and interpretations on. Gabrielle’s sexuality throughout the ENTIRE show. 

We’ve established Xena is in fact bisexual and not a lesbian and this is something Lucy Lawless has confirmed herself. Xena had both MALE and FEMALE love interests and/or relationships all the way through the show. From Season 1 to Season 6. In fact this was true even before she met Gabrielle. 

Female love interests and/or relationships: Lao Ma, Anakin, Akemi, M’Lila, Alti and of course... Gabrielle.

Male love interests and/or relationships: Borias, Ares, Marcus, Ulysses, Lucifer, Caesar, Petracles, Draco, Rafe, Iolas and of course... Hercules.

If I’ve missed any, point them out. No, I do not consider Callisto to be one of her female love interests. Bitch was fucked up and Xena fucked her up. There was a sexy energy between them and a kiss between her and Callisto’s “illusion” in ‘The Bitter Suite’ but clearly the characters themselves hated each other’s guts. No love and/or attraction. Alti - only when Xena was evil, possibly, I don’t know. It seemed like Xena liked her anyway so I’ve put her in the list.

Now for Gabrielle (this is going to be long so read at your own digression)... 

Now this is purely my personal opinion of her sexuality and my interpretation with her identifying it and accepting it. A lot of Xenites believe Gabrielle to be bisexual and that’s absolutely fine. Renee O’Connor has never outright confirmed anything about Gabrielle’s sexuality other than that she loved Xena with everything in her. But let’s consider something I believe to be very important to determining whether she was bisexual or not. All of her male love interests and/or relationships where she RECIPROCATED all happened in Season 1 and early Season 2. After the death of Perdicus there was none. Literally none. 

Lin Chi, Eli, Joxer and Joxer’s son Virgil are the only males that even seem interested with her past Season 2 and she never reciprocated any of them. Joxer PINED for her. We know that, and yeah, I would say if there was any male she could of had any interest for romantically/sexually it would of been him. But she didn’t and she made that clear in Eternal Bonds. It was purely a brotherly/sisterly type of relationship. She loved him like he was a brother to her but he loved her way more than that. With Lin Chi, there appeared to be somewhat of a connection between them and she gave him a few smiles but again, Gabrielle made it very clear when she said “You know, some people think a home is a place. It can be a person”, which clearly she was referring to Xena. He got the message from that that he had no chance with her. As for Virgil... it was nothing but a drunken haze. She was definitely not interested in him. He had a thing for her much like his father but there was no reciprocation from Gabrielle at all. Okay, so that’s the male love interests out the way.  If I’ve missed anyone, please let me know. Don’t say Ares. I am not a Gabares shipper or whatever the hell you call that ship. There was nothing there at any point.

Female love interests. Now this was different in the sense that there COULD of been something that transpired between either Thalassa, Najara and Brunhilda as all these women evidently had interest in her... It seemed Gabrielle had a connection with Najara especially and if Xena didn’t find out she was such a wacko, there could of been a relationship between them, 

She was rooted on Xena. Completely loyal to Xena. She explained to any love interests she had be it male or female that it was Xena that was her way, her “path” as she referred to it. I would say her sexuality was Xena and that she was definitely a lesbian, only she didn’t realize it at first. She confused her romantic/sexual attraction to Xena with hero worship in Season 1 and 2 because of the heteronormativity in her hometown and her strict religious and conservative family upbringing. It was compulsory for her to marry a man, bear his children and be the pretty little housewife. She knew she didn’t want that and so she ran away with Xena to avoid it. She was truly the only gay in the village and didn’t even realize it until the influence of the Amazons and her sexual/romantic endeavours with Xena. Midway Season 1 she met Perdicus again, the man she was to marry and eventually did. She said in her own words “I fell in love with him at Troy” in Return Of Callisto when she married him. But why did she marry him? It was a straight ‘no’ until he manipulated her by appealing to her sense of wanting to help people. He played into her attraction/fetish for that. Did she love him or did she just love the idea of him? It was a mistake and she eventually realized that after his death. 

She was “searching”, I believe up until midway Season 4 and her physique and clothing changed to represent her newfound spirituality and I would say her acceptance on her sexuality as well. The philosophy Eli taught her. How much she listened to him. They had a strange relationship... I would actually say it was more of a “mentorship”, I didn’t see anything even remotely romantic there between them, although the heteronormatives probably would. 

It was a running joke between the cast and crew that everybody loves Gabrielle. But Gabrielle only loves Xena. Throughout the entire show to me she was “searching” but eventually fully realized, accepted and embraced her gayness with Xena. She thought she had to be with a man to be happy and so she wouldn’t wind up some “lonely pathetic woman” as she put it. She didn’t realize women were an option. Hell, does any of us that are brought up in heteronormativity realize this until we can get away from it? I certainly didn’t. 

Thoughts? Opinions?  Lets start a healthy debate going. Do you think Gabrielle is gay or bisexual? Explain why. Take into consideration the ENTIRETY of the show and not just Season 1 and 2.

[gyroshrike]

To everyone who saw the Kalematsuba Call-Out Post

I’m not sure where to start, and my chest is getting kind of tight just trying to plan it in my head, so I’m just gonna try and start saying words and hope it comes together in the end.

Now, I’m absolutely not well known on this site, so you really have no reason to listen to me, but all I can do is speak from the heart and those of you who read this will have to decide whether what I say is worth anything.

Also, I’m not here to show you proof of anything. I can only share my opinions of and my experience with Kale and of these events in a way that I hope resonates with people who aren’t sure how to feel or who maybe jumped too quickly when faced with a call-out post.

I’ve been following Kalematsuba for two years, since he first made his current blog. Since then, this is the first I have ever been confronted with the idea that Kale has the past he does. And I know that’s the cue for a lot of you to claim he’s been keeping it a secret, but what I mean is, is that since I followed Kale I have seen nothing that alludes to him drawing anything other than wonderful, enjoyable, safe content and being anything other than a genuine, trustworthy human being.

I pride myself on having a pretty good bullshit detector and judge of character. When I meet someone, people who usually turn out to be negative or bad people I don’t want to associate with, I usually feel the vibes instantly. I listen to what people say, how they say things. I listen for those same vibes. Kale has never, EVER, not once, given me those vibes. I have never felt uncomfortable talking with him one on one, in a group setting, or as part of his audience.

Now, this not a post debating on whether or not what Kale did was wrong. I’m not here for that. Sexualizing children and child-like characters is bad. (I’m also not here to argue how ethical it is to age up child characters for the purpose of sexualizing them because that’s a whole other can of worms.)

Kale fully acknowledges what he did. When the news broke out in the personal discord channel he mods for his followers he admitted immediately to anyone who didn’t already know the situation:

“for the sake of transparency, I DID used to draw femboy art and "shota" like characters..but it was never about drawing "cp" it was so i could cope with being an effeminate boy..and then people sarted commissioning me for that type of work and it got way grosser than i ever intended it to”

For people who are construing was Kale said in a post he made earlier, then deleted, it wasn’t about sexualizing children in order to cope with dysphoria. That was not what he meant. He was referring to drawing effeminate boys, “effeminate boy” being how Kale felt at the time. It wasn’t about an attraction to the characters he drew. He saw himself in his art. These effeminate boys were representation of him to varying degrees. Unfortunately, what happened is this expressed itself using a very shota style and characters that were originally created to be underage.

That being said, Kale himself admits that it got out of hand. He is not denying he did something bad. He’s not denying the unhealthiness of the situation.

A follower who experienced this with Kale also added this about the people who would commission artwork from Kale:

[ALL SCREENCAPS ARE STAMPED WITH HST TIME ZONE]

“Kale was groomed into their incredibly posessive circle he tried to escape and they threatened to hurt him [and] eventually they finally lost interest”

Kale said nothing of this and did not ask to be defended. This was said unprompted. This is not meant to excuse Kale, but to perhaps give a little bit more insight into the context of the situation. He talks about it fully here.

All of the screencaps are from Kale’s discord, which was the first discord I ever joined and Kale always made it very clear that it was a safe place and had little tolerance for bullshit or anything that made any of his followers feel unsafe. Kale’s discord is now the standard I hold other discord channels to. They need to be safe, healthy, supportive places.

“I've been dealing with an actual dangerous procontact pedophile, but tumblr goes after the savior who rescued me”

“heres the thing of it. i have been a victim of pedophiles. these people are sick and horrible. YOU kale are no pedophile. i get a vibe from those sickos but you make me feel okay, your aura is safety. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON WITH A HUGE HEART whome i respect and care about, as i do everyone i know. i will support you 100% and thats that”

“Coming out of the woodwork here to just say: Nobody likes who they were 5 years ago, you know who I was 5 years ago? A 14 year old girl who shipped my male classmates for the sake of seeing "hot Yaoi" I made and laughed at rape jokes, I contributed to the "women suck" stereotypes put out by a bunch of teenage boys

Four years ago I pushed away friends I loved dearly for the sake of saving face with a "good artist" I admired, I regret it immensely, but my mindset from 4 years ago was different from what it is now. I used to judge who I become friends with based on their artistic ability alone

Three years ago I made a post that got really popular about the "jock/nerd soulmates" trope, I was the originater and romanticized an abusive trope bc I thought it was a good idea, I was 16, now I realize what a mistake that was and I've learned the error of my ways

TL;DR: Tumblr fucking sucks, it's a toxic place, and people will jump at any thread of drama they possibly can if it means they can unravel someone being successful in a way they can only dream of being

Kale, whether you were into shouta art or not doesn't matter, what matters is that you've moved past it, you're done with it, that's not the person you are now and you've grown as a person Your past mistakes do not define you and what you've accomplished, the things you've learned do.What you've made here, all the art, your own community, your freaking comic that a lot of people are onboard with, that's what's amazing and incredible and you should be proud of itYou are better than this, you are better than who you were 5 years ago, and if these holier-than-thou internet teenagers can't even try to understand that people can change, then they don't matter. They're not worth your time, your tears, or your work”

These screencaps are just from today. These don’t even begin to cover the time and time again that people have found support and comfort and a healthy environment in Kale’s discord from many a number of things not limited to: mental illness, abuse, traumatic experiences, suicide, and even gentler more mundane things like life and art advice.

--

Another point I would like to make about the validity of Kale’s character. In the call-out post posted today (August 21st, 2017), all OP does is link to their previously made call-out post (August 21st, 2015). There is no added material, no new art, nothing, to attest to any continued behavior or art that could reflect negatively on Kale. Which to me, implies that Kale has so soundly changed as a person and what he features in his art, that OP didn’t have anything else to say about him. Mind you, the original post is 2 years old and Kale shut down his pixiv and patreon years ago.

Kale himself said that:

“i literally havent drawn an ounce of that stuff in 4 years”

OP is not bringing anything new to the table. Nothing has changed from 2015 to 2017.

And if anyone receives hate mail from someone claiming to be a supporter of Kale, they are not from Kale’s inner circle and did not get is permission to do so. We within the personal discord agree that this situation will be met only with calmness and positive support for Kale. Anyone attacking Call-Out OP or their supporters is acting on their own or is a fake with the intention of further defaming Kale.

WHY I IMPLORE YOU TO KEEP SUPPORTING KALE

He is creating 1989nk to for trans and nb youth like him, who, from dysphoria and a lack of representation, may will seek out media or express themselves in ways that are unsafe or unhealthy.

He does not want what he experienced to happen to other trans and nb youth. That’s why 1989nk has such obvious trans colors on the front. He wants potential trans readers to see it, read it, and feel validated, safe, and represented.

I truly believe anyone who really looks into Kale’s current work, how he feels for 1989nk, the heart and soul he’s put into it, would see the kind of person he is.

Look, when I’m with my friends, I’ll be the first person to lean over and say something is problematic, makes me uncomfortable, or might be unhealthy. Anyone who knows me well can tell you that I never, ever stick my nose into tumblr discourse. So, if I’m sitting here addressing you all like this, it’s because I wholeheartedly believe in this person with everything I have.

I believe in Kale. I trust Kale. I wouldn’t follow him or support his work if I didn’t.

But then again, you have no reason to trust me. You may have to look and decide for yourself.

[mohamedsunbae]

One summer day, #ParkShinHye

Time off for Shin-hye who’s never stopped working. She glows under the dazzling Maldives sky and we finally find her relaxed.  

ISSUE 2017.05.24

A camouflage pattern dress from YCH, Paua shell circle drop earrings from Matias, and White leather sandals from Dr. Martens.

YCH striped chiffon dress and white wide-leg pants, Matias drop earrings, and Coach’s cora domed satchel bag.

A black backless top and floral race skirt from  N。21 ,  Drop earrings from Hotdew, and A swagger bag with double turn lock from Coach.

A cutout pink top from the Studio K, Earrings from Vintage Hollywood, A flower applique bag from Coach.

A white long t-shirt and corset belt from Vov, White and green cubic earrings and a ring from Hotdew, Premium leather cross strap sandals from Dr. Martens.

A see-through blouson jacket from S=YZ, Unbalanced earrings and a crystal swing necklace from Swarovski. 

BEAUTY NOTE

Make skin moist and smooth with ‘Brightening Cover Watery Cushion’ that naturally covers up flawed skin and uneven texture, and complete the vivid look with a crayon type lip pencil ‘Creamy Tint Color Balm Light #3 Rosy Brick’ which moisturizes the lips like a lip balm. All from Mamonde.

Arriving at Male International Airport in the Maldives after a long flight. Shin-hye Park boosts the mood with energy like a vitamin while others are overwhelmed under the strong sunlight. This is why she is the life of the party, and everyone who has worked with Shin-hye compliments her. Everyday, she swims until being tired and enjoys snorkeling and wakeboarding with athletic talent despite that following shooting schedules waiting for her might depress her while she’s on a trip. The real side of her, full of beautiful youthfulness in her 20’s, surprisingly resembles her life as a veteran actress who has lived half of her life vigorously through different characters and serious ponderance that those characters have caused. She is not yet fully mature, and ingenuous, and full of curiosity.  

I’ve heard that you have just finished filming ‘Silent Witness (Tentative Title).’

I began shooting ‘Silent Witness’ just after finishing drama ‘Doctors.’ It was April when I started shooting ‘Doctors’ and it was October when I finished shooting the film. I feel like I’ve shot 100-episodes of TV drama for over six month.

Your character ‘Hee-Jung’ in ‘Silent Witness’ is different from previous characters you’ve played.

Yes, she has totally different characteristics. She is a minority and is not bright, although she has her own belief and tries to maintain this. Maybe for the audience who don’t know the ending, Hee-Jung may look inflexible, unwilling to compromise, and rather stuffy.

We see you less on films than dramas. Is there any difference between them?

Films require deeper understanding of people and their emotions than dramas. In a drama, multiple relationships with loved ones, friends, and family lead the story. However, in a film, there are many occasions which focus solely on the relationship between me and my partner, obviously leading to more personal, deep, detailed acting. TV rating are important for dramas but I feel more pressure in movies since the audience come to movie theaters spending money and time. The question about whether I could attract the audience makes me think twice before accepting a role. I know I can’t avoid this question forever so I try to actively take on roles now.

You already have fourteen years of experience as an actress. Do you think you have improved?

Well, I think my attitude has become more flexible. I had felt shameful when I had many takes while shooting a film because I felt like the mistakes came from lack of practice. Then I realized that I could finally meet the real me after shedding stubbles through several takes. I am still concerned about my acting skills. I was once between a rock and a hard place when I was told that I could not attract the audience without a male actor. Pacing is really important for acting as well as in life, and hard-working is not the only answer.

So, now, this seems to be the real vacation for you because you’ve just finished everything.

I usually travel a lot after finishing working on films. I went to Portland with photographer Hyelim Shin after finishing ‘Doctors,’ and traveled to Italy, Switzerland, and Germany after finishing ‘Pinocchio.’ I spent most of time alone there. Oh, in Florence, I had a night tour and coincidentally, all the members in the tour were Korean women. We grabbed a beer and had a chat. The beer, I still miss the taste because it was really cool and tasty.

You seem to go back to be yourself and fully enjoy during a trip.

Right. while travelling, I just walk around comfortably and freely as if I don’t have much thought. It would have been more enjoyable and fun if I had done more backpacking when I was not as popular abroad as now. When I travelled to Jungfrau in Switzerland with my mother, I saw so many Koreans and Chinese who recognized me. I usually don’t care about other people recognizing me and I feel that getting pictures taken is inevitable.  However, when I get bothered, I do tell them frankly. If you ask them politely and candidly, then most of them tend to understand.  

This open-mindedness enables you to enjoy ordinary life like the people who are in the same age as you.

I like driving listening to music, and riding a bike when the weather is good. The beer after bike riding along the Han-river is always the best. Recently, I started inviting my friends to my house for dinner often because I just moved out of my parents’ house.

Didn’t your parents oppose your moving out since you are the youngest?

Yes, they did, a lot. They said they would rather see me get married and then move out (laugh). My mother keeps telling me that she wants me to get married soon if there is a good guy for me. One day, it just came to my mind that there is nothing solely mine in the world despite all my efforts and hard working. So, I decided to move out to have my own space first. There WAS my room but it could be invaded anytime by my family. This is a bit ridiculous but I was so bothered by this idea that I even muted my own voice when I practiced script reading in my room.

You must have gotten interested in interior design.

Yes, but I’m not still sure which style fits well with my house: Northern Ireland style, modern style, or maybe pop arts style. Overall, I like white tone, but the curtains should be navy. I like wood furniture but I don’t think every piece of furniture should be of wooden material.  I’m still debating so my house remains very simple without much decoration.    

Where do you see yourself when you get to your 30s?

Probably still running around in a shooting location. But when it comes to acting, I want to be an actress who can express her inner story with more detailed emotions, like the movie “Very Ordinary People.” I want to work on a piece about the instant moment that everyone has experienced one way or another: The heartbreaking moment and happy moment. My life is like a happy escape from reality. Be adventurous and travel. Eat whatever you want. It’s okay because you can work out later.        

A sleeveless dress from Tell the Truth,  Cubic circle drop earrings from Matias, A yellow and blue bracelet by Vintage Hollywood, Rita Monica silver bangle, and Dr. Martens black gladiator sandals.

Giambattisa Valli’s white chiffon dress, gangster ring set of 3 from Swarovski.

BEAUTY NOTE

Make skin soft and bright like having powder applied with a ‘Brightening Cover Powder Cushion’ that completely covers up blemishes and pores, and apply the vivid look on your lips with a crayon type lip pencil ‘Creamy Tint Color Balm Intense #5 Blooming Rose.’ All from Mamonde.

A striped shirt dress from Le Sarte Pettegole by Seven Sisters, and Swarovski’s black and white glance earrings, necklace,  Crystaldust Choke and bracelet.

Coach’s floral dress and Rogue bag with colorblock snake handles, Red earrings from Vintage Hollywood.

http://www.instylekorea.com/issue/article_view.asp?seq=2896