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onbeinganangel · 2 years

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drarry tag game ✨

thank you lovely @kbrick for making this and for the tag! i've been loving seeing it cross my dash so many times now and getting to learn how we all ended up here on this wee corner of the internet 💕

When did you get into Drarry and why? i started reading drarry in late 2019, i think? i know i got to the pairing via wolfstar but unsure what exactly was that made me think "okay maybe i'll give these guys a go!" i'd had not actively read fic or interacted with any fandom in a long time. wolfstar was my main pairing for YEARS and, of course, drarry always existed in the periphery of that for me, but i never felt the pull before? then, the beginning of the pandemic coincided with a significantly traumatic experience for me and i was very very sad and needed distractions very very desperately, and i just couldn't help but let myself fall. especially with such a bounty of new (to me) stories, voices, writing styles, premises! it felt really good to still be in the same familiar universe as the pairing that had been my first love, but this time through a pairing that has a wildly different context and backstory!

Which Drarry fic hooked you? i have terrible memory and really can't be sure but i believe i read He Who Must Not Be Normal by @letteredlettered, Burn The Witch by @lettersbyelise and Yours to Keep by @dracoismytrashson fairly early on when dipping my toes into the fandom (i literally didn't even have an ao3 account at this point, i was trying so hard to be casual about drarry) and i feel like all three of them were fairly crucial in pulling me in.

Top three favorite Drarry fics: ugh i can't do this lol here are FIVE (sorry, i am terrible) fics that touched me so deeply i had to discuss them with my therapist: Running on Air by @tinyhistory, Modern Love by @tackytigerfic, Way Down We Go by @xiaq, Far From The Tree by aideomai, and Tit for Tat by @mintamintathings.

Why can’t you quit them? OBSESSION. like, why are they sooooooooo into each other? it's disgusting and i love it. they're just heart shaped eyes and pitterpattering hearts and boners all over, all the time. plus, those eyes, hearts and boners really do not care about war, situational angst and/or trauma! in fact, they're kind of into it? god, they are insane for each other, it makes me go feral.

Would you rather be friends with Harry or Draco? i would love to be pals with Draco but realistically i think our personalities would clash A LOT. we'd be good drinking/partying/casual social buddies, but i think it would be very hard for Draco and I to become actual friends instead of just acquaintances. one of my actual irl besties is basically Harry both life-story and personality wise (afaik they have not saved the wizarding world but i can't be sure tbh) so i'm pretty certain Harry and I would get on like an house on fire :)

Who breaks your heart more often? Harry, always.

Ideal career for Harry? For Draco? for Harry, teacher maybe? let the man have peace, anyway. Draco would need something with a little more panache. if he was a professor at hogwarts he'd want the head of house position, probably eventually headmaster. if he was a wand maker/potions master he'd want to be the best in business, if he was a quidditch player, he'd want his team to be not only the top of the league but he'd be constantly trying to break some kind of record — both because of a leftover Malfoys-must-be-better-than-everyone bullshit from his childhood that he is trying very hard to let go of, and because of a desperate need to prove himself to be good.

Harry and Draco are being sent to a desert island for a week with plenty of food and water. Each is allowed to bring three additional items (no wands). What do they bring? Harry would bring a pocket knife, a book and sunscreen (knowing Draco would forget). Draco would bring three books in a panic and cry about forgetting the sunscreen as soon as they get to the island.

Favorite non-Drarry HP character? SIRIUS BLACK always and 4ever. (actually probably closely followed by his little brother these days. no i do not have a Regulus Black shaped problem, i have this obsession completely and totally under control, thank u ever so much)

If you had to pick one, enemies to lovers or (enemies to) friends to lovers? first of all god made me a bisexual so i didn't have to pick so this is like... cruel. but? enemies to friends to lovers, i guess? best of both worlds? i am a big fan of a good awkward phase. "i wanna be his friend but he still hates me" (not true), "i wanna date him but he thinks we're just fucking" (extremely not true, just hold hands ffs), "did he just propose as a joke" (sir pls work on your insecurities)

Would you rather read a fic that made you laugh or one that made you cry? i was put on this earth to weep and look pretty.

Three songs that scream Drarry to you (feel free to include the Drarry-est lyrics!): hmmm, i am bad at music but there's the one I wrote my Wireless last year to, Jefferson's Torch by Johnny Flynn, with the phenomenal lyrics: We were measured in the dark by timetabled tragedy / There's a real turn of age in disaster

literally all of The Dear Hunter's King of Swords (Reversed) is very very drarry so i won't pick specific lyrics from that one but just go listen to it

anddddd Savior Complex by Phoebe Bridgers, which i sent in to drarrymicrofic once as a prompt because i needed everyone's drarry takes on it! i mean, I'm a bad liar / With a savior complex / All the skeletons you hide / Show me yours, and I'll show you mine? that's got Drarry all over

Favorite authors outside of fic? oh, this is tricky simply because i don't tend to read a lot by the same author unless it's a series, so there are a lot of authors i am happy to say i love based on only one book! variety is the spice of life and all LOL i'm just gonna pick some names at random out of the magician's hat that is my brain: Elena Ferrante, Oscar Wilde, James Baldwin, Patrick Rothfuss, Madeline Miller, Fernando Pessoa, Paolo Giordano, Diana Wynne Jones

i really don't know who's done this and who hasn't but if you're seeing this and haven't please do and tag me because i'm nosy!

#tag game #m babbles

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jadelynlace · 3 years

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ink drinker / modern vikings au, Ivar x F!Reader

author’s note: long story short, I wrote this series but used an OFC that I use for most of my longer series. many thanks to @victoria-styles for her suggestion of making it a reader / Y/N story. major plot tweaks as well.

synopsis: Ivar was only meant to be a friend with benefits, but he caught feelings for his older brother’s best friend: you.

pairing: Ivar x Reader

✎

“Not into the million dollar bullshit?” You heard a voice beckon from behind you, stepping forwards with a light to start the cigarette that hung between your Oxford red stained lips.

“Crawling through the depths of hell sounds more pleasant than being here,” You grumbled back through the cloud of grey smoke slipping past your lips. You watched the figure next to you light up his own cigarette, taking note at how his fingers curled around the stick as he laughed with your words. “I’m only here to calm Hvitserk,”

“And he’s not even here,” He said back with a laugh, blue eyes peeking to grab at yours.

“Structure fire across town,” You tell him. “Told him that if he’s so inclined he can bring the truck over here and spray the party with the water,” Ivar laughed at that.

“Fuck, you clean up nice. And I love a woman in uniform,” He teases, smirking as you do too. It went silent for a second between you two, sticks of chemicals on your lips as his eyes did not miss the way your dress hugged at your body, how your stilettos were secured around your ankles. He couldn’t pull his mind back quickly enough before he was imagining them over his shoulders, your lips that curled around the filter and how they might look around his cock. How you were the first person who gave him complete reign over the ink he was going to forever mark your body with.

“Let’s just say I’d rather slice my own tongue off and choke on it than admit to that, actually wearing something other than the blues, and enjoying it,” You groan as the man next to you laughs, a sick snicker coming from his lips and you find yourself smiling too. “But you don’t clean up half bad yourself, Ivar,” You tease back as your eyes catch sight of the roll of his sleeves, how he maneuvers the buttons and pulls the white fabric back to show the first indications of sleeved out arms.

“Where do you want to go?” Ivar asks, taking the cigarette from his mouth to stub.

“Excuse me?”

“I didn’t think I fucking stuttered,” He started in challenge. “You said you didn’t want to be here, so where would you like to go?” He asks a quick swipe of his tongue over his lips as he cocks his head to the side awaiting your answer.

“Alright, Ragnarsson, you’re fucking on,” You laugh back, crushing your own stick with the spike of your heel as you follow him.

Hvitserk was a man who took most things with a grain of salt, others came with a few shots of whiskey. He had seen the darker side of humanity, and you were right there with him when he did. Your interest in becoming certified for emergency medicine had followed you since your high school graduation, and you were right on the top of the sign up sheet when class enrolled. And you stayed on top when your graduated. Company firings and how it lead to short staffing, moving of some onto better things lead to an opening you leapt on and found yourself paired with a paramedic with blonde hair and a smile that could cause most of the human population to smile back. It did not take long for a friendship to strike up, even outside of the station and the blazing sirens. His humor, his companionship kept you sane, kept the darkness of the horrid calls at bay, you two grew close, quickly.

Even if company policy allowed the romantic attachments between co-workers, you still couldn’t find yourself catching some sort of feeling to Hvitserk. He was a friend, your best, and it was left at that. You trusted him with your life, you’d gladly lay on the stretcher and head into the emergency room as long as he was the paramedic who was treating you.

Sigurd came next in the line of his brothers, an obsession with music, and nothing but the best that world could offer. He had an artistic hand, Hvitserk drove you towards his place of employment for permanent artwork to your liking and that was how you met Ivar. He watched you tip toe through his portfolio, but if Sigurd had talent, then Ivar was a God. You had never seen such movement on skin where he would trace his ink. You didn’t want to pull a design off of the internet and ask Ivar to put in on you, it seemed almost rude, instead you told him where you wanted it, and told him to go crazy. He looked at you in such a way, thinking you were joking. Perhaps too un-educated in the world of tattoos, but you held your ground and he was proud of such a feat.

Work was all too consuming, trying to leave space for time other than the blood pressure cuffs and patient history. You’d spend time out on town with Hvitserk, his brothers soon in tow, a party of their own that they could become. You were shocked Hvitserk hadn’t caught on, that none of them had, how long you had been spreading your legs for Ivar in secret. Petty bantering between the two of you, the others making bets to see whom would kill whom first, but that chatter went towards the foreplay that would follow you two into the bedroom. The most shock you came to realize was how Ivar was always there in the morning—it took a lot of you to convince him to leave, but he always mumbled something about five more minutes just for holding you.

Perhaps it was how your days were spent doused in testosterone, one of the three women of the entire station, entire company, leaving you to be able to handle yourself around men with egos far bigger than the dicks they would carry. That was how you were so seamlessly integrated into the Ragnarsson brother’s, struck up like the sister they never got. That was how Ivar found himself thinking about you far more than a friend with or without benefits would, how tightly you snug around his cock, how you look and sounded when you came for him, how you had pulled more from him than any other woman he had slept with. How you made him feel appreciated and not like a man who needed to navigate himself with his dick to get what women he wanted. How you didn’t toss him to the side after the first fuck. You drove him crazy and he didn’t have the words to admit to it.

“If I hear a grumble from you one more time Ivar, I am going to kick you out of the shop,” Sigurd spoke from his spot at the front desk, thumbing through a magazine of industry products as Ivar hissed a curse at him in reply. “What the fuck is you problem?”

“Y/N,” Ivar answered all too quickly.

“What? She hurt your ego too bad last time we were out? Didn’t stroke it enough to your liking?” Sigurd teased.

“No,” Ivar said. “She didn’t stroke me enough to my liking,” But Ivar said the words far too quickly before he could catch them.

“Are you fucking her?” Sigurd said, sitting up in his chair. “You two are fucking?” He laughed.

“Shut up,” Ivar grumbled, a toss of his pencil flying to grace the space Sigurd was at.

“She cut your dick off? That the issue?” He teased. “Hvitserk’s going to go ape-shit, dude,”

“That’s why we’re not telling him yet, right Sigurd?” Ivar said “Right, Sigurd?” He repeated with an extended finger at his brother.

“How long have you two been fucking—I need to know that, for science, and because I am still in shock. How did you—her? She’s too good for you Ivar, you have to be careful there,”

“Two years,” Ivar remarked and Sigurd nearly fell out of his chair.

“Fuck! You ask her out yet?”

“We’re not talking about this—or telling anyone else, right?” Ivar said again.

“Yes, sir,” Sigurd nodded, a fake salute from his hand as his mind was still scrambled.

“Don’t call me sir,” Ivar snapped.

“Yes ma’am,”

You’d never forget the call that came through dispatch a month after you and Ivar had started to screw around more often than fuck buddies would. The address sounded familiar, but Hvitserk was the one who made the connection it was the shop. Ink Drinker was a parlor bathed in black; walls and dark floors that made the rooms look like they never ended. The art displayed belonged to that of Ivar, of Sigurd, of the few others who came and went for their tattoo work. The owner had wooden sculptures of his own to line the spaces, but you had only ever seen the man through his social media.

You feared suddenly something happening to Ivar, or Sigurd, readying yourself for the sight that may hold them there, but it wasn’t them. A patron had passed out to the sight of the needles, sending Ivar to sour his entire mood at the weakness for something he found so simple. His flash of anger changed suddenly when you and his brother showed up, jumping from the rig in full expectance to see either sibling in a bloody mess after fighting to their death.

“I called and specifically asked for Hvitserk Ragnarsson and his partner,” Sigurd teased as the teenager came too, apologizing and still paying Ivar for the appointment he was too scared to cancel.

“I was hoping it would be a trauma call, you finally snapping and kicking Ivar’s ass,” You answered back, smirking at Ivar as he rolled his eyes in distaste. Ivar’s eyes climbed your whole body as you worked, the uniform marking your hierarchy and importance as you took the patient to the hospital. His text message not ten minutes later almost made you head back just to smack him.

“You’re keeping the uniform on next time we fuck.”

Tags:

@smileysam13579 @dreamtherapy @heisentwerk @angelofthenightposts @ill-skillsgard @youaremyfamiliar @unbetaedimagines @kathryn-jane @readsalot73 @skrsgardspam @lihikainanea @victoria-styles @queen-sarang @anastasiaskarsgard @andmyannabellee @youbloodymadgenius @apenas-mais-uma-pessoa @walkxthexmoon @flowers-in-your-hayr @peachyboneless @heavenly1927 @theanxietyqueen17 @trip2themoon

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

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Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-One

Words: 3.6K

Warning(s): Explicit language, drug abuse

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @edwardtriggerhandzz @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @xpoisonousrosesx @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @liith-ium @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels @ytwahsog @scarecrowmax @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @cruecifymesixx @meetthesixxter @sublimeprincesswasteland @arianareirg @girlnight-terror

@fancywasmyname1 @teller258316 @ggorehorror @blowinmeupwithherlove @xrosegoldwolfx @mylifeisjustafeverdream @redlipscrystalskies14 @str4nge-haze @reigns420 @sixxseconds2love @leatherandheels @dogmom2014 @allyouneedislove-mp3 @n0-self-c0ntro1 @viinceneil

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

"Babe?" I call as I come in from the hottub, wrapped in a towel, holding my bottle of Pepsi.

Duff's sitting on the couch when I come in, reaching his hand out to grab mine.

"We're celebrating tonight," Duffs tells me, grinning around his cigarette, and I raise my brows.

"For what?" I question him curiously.

"It's been two months since we started dating." He replies.

"And that's worth celebrating?" It comes out before I can stop myself and his smile slowly falters.

"I think so, but if you don't want to—"

"—I didn't mean for it to come out like that, Duff." I tell him.

"No, Viv, it's fine." He assures me.

"I meant, we aren't really a couple, so—" I stop myself once more realizing the grave I'm digging myself as he looks at me with a slightly raised brow, blowing smoke from his nose. "—I'm gonna shut up. What time are we going out?"

"Just whenever." He mumbles and I frown a little.

"Duff, I didn't mean it like that, either, alright? I didn't think you actually considered us a 'couple' since I'm still technically married and you're like a mistress or something." I run a hand through my hair.

"Well, we're having sex, we go out together, we have conversations about our future together, neither of us are seeing other people or have an interest in seeing other people—I assume—so, either we're dating or wasting each other's time."

"Okay, we're dating." I say.

"Are you sure?"

"Duff, seriously?" I question.

"I'm dropping it." He ignores me, reaching for his cigarettes on the coffee table. "I gotta go grab a couple things from my apartment and I'll be back later."

"Alright." I reply, taking in a deep breath before mentioning, "hey if you get back and I'm not here it's because I'm gonna try to find Izzy a little later because we need to talk about something."

"Alright, I love you." He kisses my hair quickly and grabs his keys.

"I love you too." I tell him and he shuts the door.

As soon as he's gone I'm rushing to the guest bathroom and opening the cabinet under the sink, grabbing the grocery bag of pregnancy tests that have yet to be taken.

"God, if you love me…" I say, finishing the prayer in my mind.

Children are and always have been a blessing in my eyes, but that didn't mean I wanted a child then.

"Well, I'll be damned." Izzy mumbles, eyes squinting slightly, holding the test I plopped onto the bar in front of him as he peers into the little window of plastic, seeing another, "|" as opposed to the recent "||" we had seen on my first test.

This is negative test number five of five taken over the course of three days…

"I'm not pregnant." I repeat to him, taking this last test as the set in stone reality.

"Congrats, your gig isn't quite up, yet." He says, grinning crookedly and I roll my eyes as he throws back another shot before saying, "So, here ya go," he digs in his pocket and puts two condoms packets on the bar in front of me, making me shove at his arm, "you obviously don't have any." He states.

"I do, I just don't like using them." I reply, glancing around, seeing the coast is clear of anyone I know in the crowded room.

"You like living on the edge or something?" He questions, aggravating me.

"I like..." I hesitate instead of brazenly saying what I want to. "...you know…"

He furrows his brows and looks at me for a moment.

"...You like what?" He asks me, genuinely not understanding and I sigh.

"I like…that." I widen my eyes slightly for "that," hoping he catches on.

Nothing.

"I don't understand half of what you say so—"

"—I like cum." I rip the bandaid off and he spits his drink out, squeezing his eyes closed to brace the burn of whiskey through his nostrils as well. "And ya know what? It loses its appeal when it's gummed up at the bottom of latex." I add, just to gross him out more.

"Viv, I didn't need to know that!" He scolds me, groaning, rubbing his face.

"Understand me now?" I sarcastically demand.

"Ughh," he wrinkles his nose.

"I like to feel i—"

"Shut up!" He covers his ears and I laugh. "Damn it, Vivian, go back to damn near leaving the room anytime someone mentioned sex." He complains.

"I don't feel weird about talking to you about it because you're like a girl friend." I shrug and he glares at me.

"I'm what?"

"Like a girl friend." I restate and he raises his brows.

"A girl friend?"

"Yeah." I nod.

"You really know how to break a man's balls without even thinking fucking twice about it." He gripes.

"I didn't mean anything bad by that." I say, genuinely.

"You don't tell a guy he's like a girl friend." He argues.

"Well, you are."

"Are what?" Axl's voice is over the crowd and me and Izzy both snatch at the test before he grabs it and hides it in his jacket pocket.

"Wondering what's going on with you and Tansy?" I change the subject quickly when he gets to us and he tries to hide his smile.

"Don't worry about it." He states.

Axl and Tansy, in a new-found relationship, were in a whirlwind of puppy love. So much so that not even a week later, Axl would propose and she would inevitably say, "yes."

"Where's Duff and the guys?" I ask Axl as he grabs a drink and sits beside Izzy and I, lighting a cigarette.

"Steven's with some Cheryl chick, Slash is next door at the strip bar, and Duff…" he trails off, furrowing his brows, "...I don't know where Duff is."

"Oh, well, we were supposed to go out tonight to celebrate our two month." I explain.

"Well, I haven't seen him." Axl shrugs.

"He said he was going to his apartment." I add.

"Haven't seen him." He replies again and I sigh.

"Okay, then, I'm probably gonna head home and just wait there for him."

"He's staying with you?" Axl asks and I nod.

"Yeah?"

"In Nikki's house?" Izzy adds.

"...Yes?"

They look at each other and then look at me.

"What?"

"Whore around much?" Axl comments, about to throw back his shot but I knock the glass from his hand and tiredly glare at him.

"A lot, actually." I reply. "Screw you."

I turn to go.

"Viv, c'mon," Izzy sighs as Axl storms off.

"No, I have some more whoring to go do while my husband's off." I tell him.

"He's an asshole, Vivian, you know that." He says in reference to Axl but I just keep walking.

When I get on the street, I head next door to see if he's by any chance with Slash.

Before I can head that way, I'm halting at the sound of a sharp whistle followed by, "God damn!"

Getting ready to get arrested, again, I turn and my hostility melts away.

Robbin's grinning at me.

"Where the hell have you been?!" I ask him as he walks to me.

"I was gonna ask you the same thing." He states, hugging me. "I've seen all the shit in the press and figured you'd gone to Japan with Nikki to work things out or whatever." He adds.

"There is no 'working things out,' Robbin." I reply and he furrows his brows.

"What?"

"I'm filing for a divorce when he gets back." I explain.

"What? No, Viv, you can't do that, you guys are Nikki and Viv." He tells me.

"No, we're Nikki and Heroin and Mistress and Viv." I smartly shoot back.

"I hate that you guys gotta go through this." He admits.

"Well, we got married knowing it might not work out." I shrug.

"Yeah, but seeing you two being married and making it work got me to realize it's something I want, too, you know? I just didn't think it'd be like this. You two used to be obsessed with each other." He rubs the back of his neck, frowning a little.

"Well, it is what it is, Robbin." I say.

"It's bullshit is what it is."

"Talk to him about it." I scoff.

"Rob, c'mon!" A couple friends he's with call down the street and we both look in their direction.

"Well, it was nice seeing you, we need to see each other more often, you know." I smile softly at him and he nods.

"I hope things work out, Viv. I really do." He reassures me and I nod.

"Thanks."

"See ya later." He grins, patting my cheek before going to his buddies.

"Later." I mumble as he goes.

I breathe out and head into the strip joint, not finding Slash or Duff or anyone I knew.

I eventually give up and just go home because I need to finish decorating for Christmas, anyway.

Hoping to find Duff at home, I instead come in to an empty house and a sleepy Whisky.

"Hey, boy." I step to him and reach down, petting him, feeling a small ache in my heart realizing how much he's grown since Nikki first got him a few months ago.

We were happy when he first got him.

Now look at us.

I force it out of mind and decide to get distracted with Christmas.

I should've got a shower and gone to bed because I ended up getting thrown into a pit of heartbreak all over again whilst trying to find our star for the Christmas tree that I swore I had put in a closet at some point last year to move it out of the way…

"C'mon, you've got it be here somewhere." I mumble, digging around on the top shelf, my hand feeling something familiar.

I furrow my brows and lift the random junk to see the Bible Nikki had gotten me for valentines day this year that had "gotten lost."

The star is a distant memory as I grab the Bible and step off the step-stool I was using and innocently open it where the ribbon is tucked by the back cover.

I see a scribbling of Nikki's handwriting.

Vivian,

I don't know if it's offensive to write in one of these, but my place in hell is already solidified so I might as well piss God off some more. Sorry, I know you don't like when I say I'm going to hell even though we both know it's true. The one problem I have with where I'm fated to spend eternity, is that I know you won't be there. I realized this exactly one year ago. I came pretty close to being over with and I would be burning currently (or just laying in the fucking ground, or flying around as a reincarnated bird, whatever the hell happens to us when we go) had I not made it through. I know I'm scaring you with how much I do, Viv. I hear you talking to God about it when you pray. You're afraid I'm not going to wake up one day. I'm afraid, too. I know, right, Nikki Sixx is scared of something, who would've thought? I'm afraid I'm going to take my last breath without telling you how much I love you. I knew I loved you that night you snuck me into your window and asked me to help you bullshit that damn thesis paper for your final. That was six years ago, almost, and I wish I would have been telling you that I love you all along, maybe it would have changed the path of certain things that have happened. I'm sorry for what I've done, what I'm doing, and what I will do. It's my cross to carry. It's not your fault, it never has been, it never will be. I hope you can forgive me if I'm not here this time next year...if I don't get any better, I'll be in a coffin before our tour ends. Jeez, this sounds like a suicide note. I promise that's not why I'm writing this. I hope I'm around as long as you are. I hope we're together in the next life, whether it's as two birds that mate for life, pecking at each other's eyes, or our spirits just find one another. If God is real, all I'll need is for him to let me know you've made it up there and that you'll be okay, and I'll go to Hell and take the brimstone and fire for all the damage I've done. Just don't forget me, whatever happens. I won't ever forget you. I love you, Vivian. I won't ever forget you. I love you.

—Nikki

My body locks up, my joints tensing, my nose burning as tears come to my eyes...I start shaking, an uncomfortable lump clogging my throat...fury encapsulates me.

I'm throwing the Bible at the wall, pulling at my hair, screaming and yelling incomprehensibly before finally choking out, "why didn't you tell me this?!" I bark at Nikki who's across the country and can't hear me.

But I'm saying it loud enough that he probably could if he really tried.

I guess a part of me might've considered staying with him had he expressed his feelings to me earlier on in our relationship. It's nice to hear, "I love you," even if someone doesn't mean it.

I felt robbed. I felt I deserved for Nikki to tell me that before I found out about Vanity...before he started choosing drugs over me...before I started sleeping with someone else…

I lay down and just stare at the mirror ceiling looking back at me, an ugly crack causing my reflection to scatter in multiples.

Nikki must've broken it at some point before leaving.

I don't know what the point of getting a mirrored ceiling was...perversion or whatever, I suppose. But the money and time spent repairing the damn thing over the years…

I glance at Whisky, curled up on Nikki's side of the bed, talking in his sleep while his back legs twitch a little.

Maybe he's actually reliving a good memory of Nikki.

All I can think of is,

"I got on it to help with my shoulder and finish my parts of the album so it would be ready in time." He tells me honestly.

"And your shoulder's healed now, Nikki. So why are you still bothering with it?" I ask, looking at him.

"It's not like I'm injecting the shit, Vivian." He argues, getting defensive. "Go read your Bible or pray or something...anything."***

And,

I throw the syringe at him, screaming out, "when did you start doing this?!" as tears reappear in my eyes.

I expect him to come fight me, he instead ignores my outburst and leans down to grab the box of needles.

I get up and follow after him, my hands shoving at his back, nearly causing him to trip over himself.

"Answer my fucking question!" I demand him, my voice shaking. I get the reaction I want, the plastic of syringes and metal of needles colliding loudly with the wall when he throws the box of them angrily and spins around.

"Vivian, it's just recreational. It's not serious. I got it under control." He tries to defend himself and I close my eyes, realizing I'll never win.

Then,

"Andy." I cry out, keeping my hands on Nikki's chest, but the Finnish rockstar keeps yelling back and forth with the dealer. "Andy." I repeat, louder, but he still doesn't hear me. "Andy!" I'm pleading in a holler, catching his attention. "I-I can't do this, I'm sick, just call an ambulance!" I beg and Andy heads to the phone hanging on the wall.

And,

"Vince, I'm scared." I say in a whisper.

"Viv, you guys are gonna be okay. I'm sure you'll find a way take fix things just to spite people saying you two won't last." He assures me, his hand rubbing comfortingly up and down my back. "Look at me." He says and I do, and he wipes at my tears. "It'll be fine, alright?" I nod. "Okay?"

"Okay." I reply, sniffling again.

Also,

I'm hitting the floor as fast as I can, screaming as my ears ache from the noise as he just starts shooting repeatedly, and the house shakes, my only chance of protection is getting under the bed and I rush to get there, covering my ears as my spine paralyzes with fear and more shots fire out. I hear things in our house breaking and shattering from buckshot that flies through the open doorway as Nikki is shouting "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" with raw tears in his voice.

Then,

"I'm getting married, look." Vanity states, taking her left hand out of Arsenio's hold and flashes a shining ring on her ring finger and my ears perk up, apparently Tansy's pulled from her drugged stupor, because her heavy eye lids pop open and her face pales when I look at her as I hear Arsenio comment, "okay, um, here's something for Jett magazine," going with the sudden turn of events presented by the starlet.

"Did you know she was engaged?" I ask Tansy and she's at a loss of words. "I didn't even know she was dating anybody."

"Vivian." Tansy's tone is dreadful and I wait for her to tell me about it, Arsenio cracking jokes in the background, causing Vanity's enthusiastic laughter to infiltrate the room.

"This is a beautiful ring." He states, grabbing my attention once more.

"Isn't it pretty?" Vanity agrees as he examines the rock on her finger.

"You, didn't you--"

"--Nikki Sixx." She interrupts him, and my brows furrow even more, confusion taking over me.***

And,

"How could you do this to me?!" I cry out as he starts trying to walk to me, trying to keep his anger low, but I get away from him, throwing a hotel lamp at him, only for it to shatter on the wall behind him. "What did I do to make you hate me so fucking much, Nikki?! To make you pursue another girl--one of my friends--so fucking hard that you propose to her?! Am I just that fucking forgettable?!" I'm throwing dirty dishes Tommy's used tonight, all of them breaking when they miss Nikki by merely centimeters, hitting the wall.

"Vivian, fuck it off!" He barks and I grab Tommy's switchblade off the nightstand, throwing it next, and it barely misses Nikki's face.

"I hate you!" I say back. "I fucking hate you!"

Finally,

“What's new…" He says with a small smirk, thinking about something before the corners of his mouth fall slowly. "...I've done a lot of shit." He starts and I look at him. "Shit I'm not proud of. I don't fucking know when to just do something a little bit. I can't have a bump, I've gotta go through an eight ball as fast as possible. I can't have a drink, I gotta drink the place dry. I can't have a serious girlfriend, I've gotta marry her." He says, and I glance at him and he shakes his head. "I can't just have a one-night stand, I gotta have a fucking affair." He finishes and I lick my lips, keeping my tears back. "This might be fucked up, but I've realized I don't feel like I shouldn't have had anything with her." He says in reference to Vanity and I furrow my brows. "I just feel like we shouldn't have gotten married to begin with."

I decide to have mercy on myself, refusing to relive anymore of our memories--good or bad--because they don't matter anymore and I don't even give myself time to think about how he finally decided to tell me he loved me after six years of jumping through hoops trying to earn it from him.

Careful not to wake the dog, I get out of bed, hearing Duff's car pull into the driveway, and glance at the clock.

How is it already 4:00a.m.?

I can't help but feel butterflies in my stomach, excited to see him because I've missed him.

When he gets in, he braces himself against the doorway of the foyer, cursing under his breath when his feet dare to slip from underneath him.

"Did you have fun?" I ask him softly, smiling at him and he slowly lifts his head to look at me.

"Y-You're still up?" He asks me, rubbing his face and I chuckle, taking a step to him.

"Yeah?" I reply, wrapping my arms around his waist…

...Noticing he's keeping his hand on his eyes as if he's rubbing them, and his lids are squeezed together.

"Are you okay?" I ask next, reaching up to pull his hand away from his eyes but he stops me.

"Yeah, baby, I'm fine, just go to bed and I'll be there in a second." He tells me calmly, slurring a little.

"Duff, what's wrong?" I don't listen, not buying it for a second.

"Viv…" he sounds disappointed. "Izzy'll be in here in a second."

"Just look at me," I giggle and move his hand again and he hesitates for a second, before sighing, looking me in the eyes.

I can't speak as pin-pointed pupils look down at me, the sudden smell of smack fumes on his clothes invades me, faint but still there.

I go to open my mouth to speak but I can't…

He's floating on heroin and my hopes of normality are drowned.

#nikki sixx #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x oc #mötley crüe #gateway drug

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insaneasgardian · 4 years

Text

Earth’s Mightiest Heroes! Chatroom 1; Memes

Clint has started a chatroom

Tony has joined

Steve has joined

Bucky has joined

Sam has joined

Y/N has joined

Wanda has joined

Natasha has joined

Peter has joined

Loki has joined

Pietro has joined

Vision has joined

Bruce has joined

Y/N: Hi guys

Natasha: Heyyyyy Y/N/N!

Pietro: Hellooooo Y/N!

Steve: Good day ma’am.

Thor: Why, hello Y/N!

Sam: Hey, how you doin’?

Peter: Hi Ms. L/N!

Wanda: Hey Y/N!

Clint: Hiiiiiiiii Y/N!

Bruce: Morning Y/N :)

Vision: A very good day to you Ms.L/N

Bucky: Hi Y/N!

Loki: Hello, tolerable midgardian.

Tony:

Everybody: ....

Y/N: Ew.

Clint: I will gut you like a fish for saying that to my innocent baby!

Tony: Your baby is FAR from innocent ;)

Natasha: And now he’s trying to falsely accuse her!

Loki: I’m not surprised, he’s always been a disgrace, even to you low midgardians.

Tony: D:

Bruce: The hulk has put Tony’s name on his list.

Tony: ....Of friends?

Bruce: No, that list is limited to Y/N and Nat. You my friend, are on Hulk’s NAUGHTY list!

Tony: >:O

Bruce: Anyway, Clint, why did you start this chatroom?

Clint: To introduce the 2 grandpas and the 2 GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT grandpas to......

Peter: Memes!

Clint: Yesss!

Y/N: Sounds fun!

Steve: What is a Meme?

Bucky: I’ve heard the term...

Thor: I haven’t

Loki: I am NOT a very great grandpa, you are just very young midgardians.

Y/N: 😂

Vision: meme/miːm/

noun1.an element of a culture or system of behaviour passed from one individual to another by imitation or other non-genetic means.

2.an image, video, piece of text, etc., typically humorous in nature, that is copied and spread rapidly by Internet users, often with slight variations.

Steve: .... I kind of get it.

Natasha: Let’s show you first, then you can catch on, how about that?

Wanda: Good idea Nat.

Bruce: I’ll go first!

Bruce:

Wanda: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Clint: Why is that so relatable

Sam: That’s really funny, good one Bruce! 🤣

Thor: Wow... so these... ‘memes’ they make them out of us?

Pietro: Yes, there’s memes about basically everything, and everyone, even you!

Pietro:

Pietro: Like that!

Thor: It’s me!

Clint: HEY!

Y/N: 😂😂😂 It’s true! The rest of us working so hard to stop Thanos, where were you?!

Bucky: It’s true Clint, where were you?

Loki: I sacrificed myself, and you weren’t there to help!

Clint: You came back to life though... you tricked us... AGAIN.

Natasha: It isn’t important... the question is... WHERE. WERE. YOU?

Clint: I HAD SOMETHING IMPORTANT GOING ON IN MY LIFE, OKAY?! ISSUES AT HOME, I HAD A DRUG ADDICTION, AND OH GOD....

Everybody: ....

Y/N: Clint... we... had no idea.

Bucky: Sorry buddy.

Natasha: Yea, if I knew, I would’ve never...

Thor: I’m sorry an image of me was used against you...

Loki: I.... apologise

Peter: But... Mr. Barton, you told me you didn’t make it because you were binging Brooklyn 99

Everybody: >:0

Loki: THERE WAS NO ‘ISSUES’!

Clint: PETER!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE!!

Peter: :C

Tony: DON’T YOU DARE SHOUT AT MY CHILD!

Y/N: EVERYBODY RELAX!

Vision: I agree, we do not need another Civil War!

Sam: Yea, everybody, get BACK TO MEMEING!

Wanda:

Loki: 😁 Ah yes, the good old days.

Pietro: Haha, old man!

Bucky: Lmao

Y/N: XD

Steve: I understood that reference!

Clint: WHY IS EVERYBODY GANGING UP ON ME?

Tony:

Natasha: Bruh

Peter: >:O

Y/N: Gross...

Tony: Awww don’t worry Y/N, I’m ‘Stark naked’ just for you ;)

Y/N: 🤮

Loki: You keep your grubby mitts off her!

Bucky: YEA! NOT COOL!

Steve: You’re really pushing my buttons today Stark.

Thor: .... Midgardians have a very strange sense of humor.... one of which I do not approve.

Vision: 1010001010011100101010010110100101

Wanda: You alright Vis?

Vision: Ummm... yes.... how about we have a meme contest? I’ll judge!

Natasha: I’m in!

Vision: Okay... contestant 1, Peter!

Peter: Oh... ummm... okay

Peter:

Y/N: Peter, you genius child!

Peter: :)

Steve: I don’t understand everyone’s obsession with my butt...?

Vision: I declare Peter the winner!

Sam: The rest of us haven’t even got a turn yet!

Vision: :C Fine... next contestant, Bucky!

Bucky: Watch me ;)

Bucky:

Clint: I came here to have fun, I feel so attacked

Tony: 😂

Loki: >:)

Y/N: Poor Clint, but that’s hilarious Bucky!

Bucky: Thanks!

Vision: That’s pretty nice! Y/N, you’re up next!

Y/N:

Steve: >:O

Natasha: BAHAHAHA, THAT IS SO FUNNY!

Bruce: Made my day!

Peter: I love it!

Sam: So Steve 😂

Vision: Best one so far! Sam, you’re next!

Sam:

Wanda: That’s so mean 😂

Tony: Lollllllllll

Bucky: Jerk :C

Vision: Not bad ;0. Wanda, you next...

Wanda:

Bucky: Bro wth?!

Steve: That’s funny, you gotta admit Bucky.

Y/N: Nice Wanda!

Wanda: Thanks!

Pietro: That’s my sister!

Vision: That’s my girlfriend! Pietro is next!

Pietro: Sorry in advance Peter...

Peter: Why?

Pietro:

Peter: ..... UNCLE BEN 😪😪😪😪😭😭😭😭😱😱😱😱😰😰😰😰

Peter has left

Y/N: What the hell Pietro? Look what you did!

Tony: You hurt Peter’s feelings!

Thor: Poor spider child?

Bruce: Is he okay?

Natasha: I’m pretty sure he’s not.

Y/N: He’s hyperventilating.

Bruce: I’m coming to check on him.

Bruce has left

Wanda: Good job Pietro.

Pietro: I didn’t know, I thought he got over it :C

Bucky: He’ll NEVER get over it idiot!

Steve: It’s always gonna be too soon for the kid!

Vision: Pietro is disqaulified, Natasha, you go next!

Natasha:

Tony: lmfaooo.... did you know though?

Bucky: .... I feel awkard

Pietro: WOW NAT! LOOK WHAT YOU DID!

Steve: It isn’t bad though.

Y/N: Yea Pietro, you can’t talk!

Pietro: I’m sorry :C

Natasha: My meme was funny, everyone’s gotten over the civil war, unlike a certain BEN PARKER!

Vision: .... Steve next please.

Steve: I got a good one!

Tony: Oh boy.

Steve:

Y/N: What the- 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Natasha: 😂😂😂 New avenger??

Tony: That’s actually pretty funny, doesn’t even need words 😂😂

Bucky: That’s great Stevie, but all I can focus on is Thor... Is that even Thor?!

Thor: Indeed, it is me :)

Y/N: Wow.....

Thor: Does that picture of me appease you Y/N? ;)

Y/N: You look great....

Thor: Thank you, though nobody can compare to your beauty.

Sam: Our buddy Thor pulling out all the stops here O.O

Loki: Pffft, he doesn’t even look THAT good!

Vision: Maybe you can prove how great you are! Because Loki, you’re next

Loki: Watch and learn peasants

Loki:

Thor: ;O LOKI?!?!?!?! YOU’RE NOOBMASTER69?!??!?!? :CCCCC

Y/N: I. FRICKING. KNEW. IT! Loki omg 🤣

Tony: Loki is in deep shiiittttttttttt...

Wanda: I must compliment Loki on all the ways he discovers to annoy his brother 😂

Clint: Wowwwww.... after all this time of looking for Noobmaster69....

Bruce has joined

Peter has joined

Tony: Everything okay?

Bruce: Yea, he’s fine now.

Peter: Yea, I’m great! :DDDD

Y/N: Good to hear!

Peter: Mr. Loki is noobmaster69?!!!

Loki: Yes I am ;)

Thor: LOKIIIIIII!!!

Loki: ... O.O I screwed up

Bruce: You realize that now?

Natasha: It’s a miracle Thor hasn’t killed him yet

Thor: YET.

Bucky: Oh shitttt.

Steve: Language....

Tony: lAngUAgE!

Steve: :C

Vision: Thor is next...

Thor:

Thor: Noobmaster69... whom we now also know as LOKI!!!

Natasha: Wow, he’s pretty pissed about that.

Clint: I’m actually worried about Loki’s well being...

Loki: Oh don’t worry.... he won’t hurt me.

Thor: YET. I shall wait for the battle of memes to end first.

Vision: ...... Ummm.... anyway, next up is Tony.

Tony: Well... do I have a great meme up my sleeve ;)

Vision: Nothing about Y/N

Tony: Fine >:C

Y/N: Thanks Vis...

Tony:

Y/N: Okay, that’s.... fine

Clint: At least it’s nothing about my baby Y/N.

Tony: Oh yea, speaking of Y/N... Y/N, do you like arc reactors?

Y/N: .....

Steve has kicked Tony from the chat

Natasha: About damn time!

Vision: Next up, Bruce!

Bruce: Okay

Bruce:

Bucky: I remember that!

Peter: Me too! Especially Ms. L/N!

Sam: Oh yesss Y/N was all like -

Y/N: I love my spider baby <3

Peter: I love you too Ms. L/N!

Y/N :’)

Wanda: Wholesome content

Steve: SO cute!

Natasha: Adorableeeee <3

Y/N: Anyways who’s next Vis?

Vision: The last person... Clint!

Clint: I have been waiting...

Clint:

Natasha: That’s totally Bucky!

Y/N: Lmao yea

Thor: Always ready to jump up and defend the Captain.

Bucky: Because that’s what best friends do!

Steve: :’) Awwww

Sam: .... I still think I’m his best friend

Bucky: Oh buzz off Wilson.

Vision: I AM READY WITH THE RESULTS!

Pietro: Let’s do this....

Vision: In 1st place... Clint!

Clint: Yeaaaa!

Vision: In 2nd place is Y/N!

Y/N: Yeshhhh

Peter: Well done Ms.L/N!

Vision: And 3rd place is Peter!!

Peter: Yayyy! :D

Wanda: Well done guys!

Loki: Congratulations

Thor: Really good job!

Natasha: GREAT work!

Pietro: lol noice

Sam: Good work!

Steve: Congrats!

Bucky: Well done!

Nick Fury has joined the chat

Everyone: .....

Nick Fury:

Clint: ... That’s an option? If so, can I be in the meme department?

Nick Fury: GET BACK TO WORK! Nick Fury:

Everyone has left the chat

Nick Fury: I’m stuck babysitting a bunch of motherfucking babies.

#Mcu #Marvel #Avengers #MarvelxReader #Avengerschatroom #AvengersxReaderChatroom #Y/NL/N #AvengersxReader

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nemesisadraste · 3 years

Text

Movie night (a Code Lyoko fan-fin by NemesisAdraste for @that-g3-obsessive in the @codesecretsanta gift exchange.)

This story happens somewhere during season 2. Don't mind the year of the story and the movies please. I know they don't all fit, but let just say that in the CL-verse they do.

It was a normal autumn night for all the parisian inhabitants.

All of them?... No!

In the streets of la ville lumière there was a group of young teens with bags on their back that, if you'd ask any grumpy neighbors, were definitely up to something. This group made of 3 boys and a pink haired girl, all about the same age, were heading to a specific house that wasn't theirs and no one could have guessed what they were ganging up for…

Ulrich : Oh my god would you cut it Odd?! We're just going to have a movie night at Yumi's house and her parents and Hiroki will be there so stop the drama!

Odd : What? Can't I have a little fun?!

Aelita : Yeah Ulrich, don't be a party pooper, that was funny.

Ulrich : Maybe but he does this all the time and I'm getting sick of it.

Odd : Come on buddy, a little laugh never killed nobody.

Ulrich : No, but people had died for being too annoying.

Jérémie : Ok kids stop it we arrived.

They had indeed arrived and Aelita knocked on the door. Yumi answered, already in pyjamas (a comfy Tortoro one) for the night and with a big smile.

Yumi : Hi! Come in!

The warriors entered the house and Hiroki immediately welcomed Ulrich and showed him his room before letting him change into his pyjamas. The other warriors did the same after greeting Yumi's family. Once they were all set, the Geisha's parents prepared some popcorn while the kids were discussing which movie to watch.

Odd : What about "Singularity"? It is about a self-aware AI that we programmed to find the world's biggest problem and to solve it, but once we connected it to the internet, it didn't take a second for it to find out it was humanity the problem. I saw it and it is really good!

Aelita : Yeah I'll pass.

Jérémie : Me too.

Odd : Ok… oh what about "I robot"?! You can't go wrong with Will Smith!

Yumi : I love Will Smith too, but "I robot" really?

Odd : what's the problem?

Yumi : This is a fun movie night Odd. It is meant to get us out of our daily trouble so I think it is better to choose a movie that is NOT about an evil AI.

Odd : I see… but I still want an action movie…

Hiroki comes in the room in this very moment

Hiroki : I want an action movie too!

Yumi : I'm fine with an action movie, just not an AI movie ok.

Hiroki : Yeah she never liked those, it gave her nightmares. It's weird because she watches horror movies sometimes that are way worse and she is just fine!

Yumi : Enough Hiroki or you won't watch the movie with us!

Hiroki : Well mom and dad said I can so…

Yumi : Hiroki!

Hiroki : Ok fine I'll stop. So what do we watch?

Odd : What about "Pacific Rim" No AI, just big human controlled robots fighting aliens coming from the center of the earth.

Yumi's mom coming from the kitchen with the popcorn : Isn't it a bit too violent for Hiroki?

Hiroki : Mom I'm not a baby I can take it!

Yumi's mom : Ok then. It is a special night after all. But don't come into our bed if you have nightmares tonight! Have fun!

Odd : Ok let's do this! You'll see this is a great movie you're gonna love it! Especially you Ulrich and Yumi!

Ulrich : How so?

Odd : You'll see! 😜

And so they started the movie and watched it. Just like Odd has predicted they all loved it and Ulrich and Yumi knew why Odd had said it was especially for them when they came to the "four hits" stick fight game scene. It was awesome and they promised to try it someday. Aelita was amazed by the special effects and was especially receptive to the traumas scenes. Jérémie took mental notes about all the scientific stuff surrounding the Jaegers and its neural interface. Hiroki just had a blast watching the fight scenes and Odd was equally impressed by the work in front and behind the camera like everytime he sees it.

Odd : See I told you it was great! Say Einstein, do you think you can program some Jaegers on Lyoko?

Hiroki : Lyoko? What is that?

Jérémie : Nothing… just a video game I program for fun in my free times.

Hiroki : Cool! Can I see it?!

Jérémie : Not until it is finished. But when I do you'll be the first to know promise.

Hiroko : COOL! Thanks! What is the game about?

Yumi : Hiroki, it's way past your bedtime now.

Hiroki : You're not fun

Yumi : Hiroki!

Hiroki : Ok I'll go to my room… leave you alone with your boyfriend.

Yumi : For the 1000000 times Ulrich is not my boyfriend!

Hiroki : Yeah sure. (He goes up to his room.)

Jérémie : Way to go Odd now I have a video game to eventually present to Hiroki.

Odd : Hey you came up with this cover story! Besides, he will probably forget it by next week.

Jérémie : Hope you're right.

Odd : You didn't answer my question though, could you program Jaegers on Lyoko?

Jérémie : No.

Odd : Why?

Jérémie : First of all, I have enough with the anti-virus as it is to start thinking about programming new stuff, second of all, didn't you see in the movie all the side-effects it had? It's too much an unnecessary risk to add. Beside all monsters are relatively small so how would a giant robot be of any use?

Odd : The monsters we know are tiny, but what if X.A.N.A. make a new real big one?! Bigger than the schyphozoa I mean! Bigger than the towers even!

Ulrich : Stop it Odd. Since we found the 5th sector I'm sure we have encountered all the monsters in X.A.N.A army.

Odd : Ok, Ok no Jaegers. But don't complain to me when we'll be in front of this future colossal monster and we will be the tiny one.

Yumi : I promise we won't. Ok, now I can't sleep on big action scenes because they are way too exciting, so how about a light comedie before we go to bed?

Aelita : Yeah I'd love too! How about an Astérix? I heard good stuff about those animated movies and how they are a classic here.

Ulrich : Yeah they are fun even if they are for kids.

Odd : Don't listen to him princess, cartoons are for everyone and the Astérixs are the best! My fave is "Les 12 travaux d'Astérix." Let's see this one. They even introduce all the characters at the beginning so it's a good one to start with.

Yumi : Ok let's watch this!

And they watched and enjoyed it all together, and then went to sleep. Those moments were rare and precious so when they arrived, they didn't let a second of it split. They all continued this wonderful night in their dreams hoping that someday this will be their routine instead of fighting.

THE END.

I hope you enjoyed it 😅

Happy holidays to you and all your loved one! Please give me your appreciation in the comments!

P.s. in case you wondered , this is the famous Pacific Rim stick fight scene!

#code lyoko #fanfiction #codesecretsanta2020 #odd della robbia #yumi ishiyama #Ulrich Stern #aelita stones #Jérémie Belpois

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dyscrasia-eucrasia · 4 years

Photo

Part 7

<<Prev | Next>>

"Hey giiiirl," Lexi said when Angel answered the Facetime call. "It's been foreverrrr, how are you?"

Lexi Christo was a micro-influencer from Richmond, Virginia. She was tan, blonde, and had the whitest teeth Angel had ever seen on a person. He'd become influencer buddies with her during a pole dancing expo he'd traveled to a year ago. She wasn't a dancer herself, but had been there to support another micro-influencer who danced as a hobby. Angel had met her in the hotel bar as she went around taking selfies with as many guys as she could, and they struck up a conversation, working out a deal to both post the selfie to their Instagram accounts and tag each other.

She was alright, as far as he was concerned. She had two cute pomeranians and hustled fitness shakes in what he could only assume was a pyramid scheme. She was image obsessed, but who on Instagram wasn't? The only problem he had with her was that she came off as a super Jesus-freak online, but in person she was one of the hardest partiers he'd ever met.

A call from her generally meant she was planning something big and fun and wanted as many influencers to show up as she could get.

"Oh, y'know, wasting all of my talent on podunk Charleston, the usual," he replied.

"Are you laying in bed? I'm not interrupting a dick appointment, am I?"

"God, I wish I was getting dick right now. No, I'm just resting my leg, I pulled it funny on the pole last night."

"Oh, bummer. Is it serious?"

"No, it happens sometimes. Just need to ice it and stay off of it for a day."

"That's good… speaking of dancing, I've got a proposition for you."

"Oh no, what are you planning?"

"So my sister is getting married in a few months, and I'm putting together a bachelorette party for her. It's gonna be so lit, I've got so many local influencers coming. We're gonna stream it on Instagram Live and everything. And I want you to be our stripper."

"Lexi, you know I'm gay, right? I don't do hen shows."

"No no no, that's why you'd be perfect! That way none of the guests will end up trying to fuck you."

"Well, jeez, take all the fun out of working…" Angel joked. He'd never fucked someone from a club. He'd thought about it sometimes - the money would be nice, of course - but it always came back to his online reputation. Had to keep it clean to attract those brand deals.

"C'mon, pleeeeaaaase! I'll pay you and everything."

"Bitch, you'd better pay your dancers!"

"Of course I would! But you'll get paid plus you'll get exposure from a ton of influencers. C'mon, it'll be so much fun."

"For you. I'll be working."

"Work can be fun. C'mon, pleeeeeaaaase!"

"Okay, okay! I'll do it, jeez. Stop grovelling."

"Omigod, thank you!"

"Yeah, yeah, don't mention it."

"Excellent. I'm so excited. So anyways, what's happening with you?"

"Oh, not much. Just thinking about boys, y'know how it is."

"Speaking of boys, you should totally DM Clayton Howard. He's actually out in West Virginia right now."

"Whaaat? What's he doing out of L.A.?"

"He's doing some sort of cryptid hunting show with his crew. They were hunting Mothman, and then something called Flatland, or something like that? They almost got shot by hillbillies in the episode that went up today."

"No way. How did that even happen?"

"They were in the woods looking for the Goatman and I guess they got too close to some hillbilly shack or something because someone fired a shotgun at them."

"Wait, what's the Goatman?"

"You know, from the creepypasta?"

"Girl, you know I hate horror."

"Well, there's this story about a Goatman who lives in the woods and smells like blood and it can shapeshift or whatever and sneaks into groups of teenagers."

"Ugh, creepy."

"I know! But anyways, Clayton's in your state, you should totally DM him and try to hook up. Or at least shoot a collab."

"I dunno, Clayton's got like 100k followers, I doubt he'd talk to someone with less than 10k…"

Angel didn't get to finish that thought when his phone started to buzz. The notification that popped up at the top of the screen showed an incoming call - not Facetime, just a regular phone call. And the caller ID was someone from his contacts: Demie.

He sat up, suddenly flooded with energy. It had been two whole days since Demie had called him, and he'd figured that Demie just didn't want anything to do with him anymore.

"Lexi, I gotta go, I'm getting a really important call," he said, words tumbling rapidly out of his mouth.

"Ooooh, is it for a dick appointment?"

"If I play my cards right, it is," he said with a grin. "Talk to you later, byeeeee!"

He hung up the Facetime call before she could reply, smashing the answer button on the incoming call.

"Hello?" He said. He instantly cringed. That 'hello' had sounded too excited. He was afraid of coming off too strong and scaring Demie away.

"Uh… Angel?" Demie asked.

"Yeah, yeah, this is Angel. What's up, man?"

"Hey, uh, so Elaine said you called. Sorry I didn't call back, I was dealing with some shit."

"Hey man, that's fine. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, there were just these punkass kids trespassing on my property and scaring my goats so I was putting up signs all day--"

"Wait, you have goats?" Angel interrupted.

"Uh… yeah?"

"What, do you live on a farm or something?"

"Huh? No. I grew up on a farm, but I moved away and shit. I just have some goats."

"You really like goats, huh? I mean, you dress up like a goat, you have goats…"

"Uh… I guess."

"Have you ever heard of the Goatman?"

There was some silence on the other end of the line. Angel was afraid the connection had dropped, so he asked: "Demie? You there?"

"Yeah, I'm here. What about the Goatman?"

"Oh, apparently there's this Youtuber who's in town and is doing a show about cryptids. I dunno, I thought that since you like goats, maybe you knew about the Goatman and had checked it out--"

"Cryptids are fucking bullshit, you know that, right?" Demie said. His typically monotone voice had just an edge of anger to it.

"Oh, yeah, I know--"

"Like they're just stupid stories made up by drunk rednecks who don't know what a fucking owl looks like, and all the people who go hunting them are just running around trespassing on private property."

There was silence for a little while.

"Hey," Angel said gently, "are we cool? Did I say something wrong?"

He could hear Demie take a deep breath, and then let it out. "Yeah, no, it's fine."

"'Cause I didn't mean to upset you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Was that all you wanted to talk about or did you call about something else?"

"Oh, no, I didn't actually call about that, I was just talking to someone about it. I was calling to check in, y'know? Wondering how the song writing was going and all that."

"Um, it's going fine, I guess."

"I was reading the Wiki page for Orpheus, it said that he had the power to, like, make anything that heard his music do whatever he wanted. I can see why you'd like him as a musician, I bet that would be a cool superpower to have."

"Um, yeah, look, about that--"

Angel's phone vibrated with a notification for a text. He pulled the phone away from his ear to look at it. It was a text from Lexi, stating: 'I DMed Clayton ur number. Ur welcome. 🍆💦'

A second later, a number he didn't recognize with a California area code lit up his phone with an incoming call.

"Oh, shit," he mumbled. He wanted to keep talking to Demie, especially since he could tell he'd offended him somehow and wanted to clear the air. But at the same time, Clayton Howard had been his internet mancrush for ages.

"Hey, Demie, sorry, I'm gonna have to go, I have to take this call. Can I call you back later?"

"Um, yeah, I guess--"

"Okay, byeeee!"

He fumbled with the phone, ending the call with Demie and hitting the answer button for the unknown number.

"Hello?" He asked.

"Hey, is this Angel?"

"Yeah?"

"Hey dude, this is Clayton Howard…"

#writing #writers on tumblr #original fiction #gay fiction #lgbt fiction #wright's writing #w:demie and angel

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fanfic-scribbles · 5 years

Text

Lunch Buddy: Chapter Seven

Masterlist

<<Previous Chapter Next Chapter>>

Overall Story Facts:

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Story Summary: Steve Rogers makes a friend. A prickly, generally people-averse friend, but they’ll both take what they can get.

Quick Facts: Friendship (/Eventual Romance) – Steve Rogers & Reader (leading to Steve Rogers/Reader) – Female Reader

Story Warnings: Reader-insert that verges on OFC, written in 1st person past tense

Chapter 7: Bi Association

Chapter Summary: An accidental assumption leads to an emotional conversation. Being disasters is both a good and terrible thing to have in common.

Chapter Warnings: Talk of coming out, mentions of homophobia, mentions of past Steve/Bucky and past Steve/Peggy

Chapter Word Count: 3669

A/N: So at the beginning of the story I warned Reader/OFC is very definitely bisexual and that really comes into play here. I think this chapter was one of the ones that pushed me to keep OFC as an option for this story because coming out (or not) is a really personal thing. ‘Not all bi folk’ and whatnot. Otherwise, please enjoy these two doofs being terrible with real actual Emotions.

Job hunting was annoying, but surprisingly fruitful.

“Are you sure everything’s all right?” Steve asked.

“Yeah. Why?” I asked and looked at him.

“Your playlists are a little…” He gave the next word a lot of thought. “…Heavy. Lately.”

Poor sweet summer child, I thought. Apparently Lamb of God had taught him nothing. “You said you like Rise Against.”

“I do.”

“So we’re branching out,” I said and went back to my doodling. “Slowly but surely, we’ll get you to branch out even more.”

“I guess– wait. ‘Slowly?’”

“How about you?” I asked, focused on my crummy little tree. “You’ve been a little out of it this week.”

I thought he’d brush me off. Instead I got silence. I lifted my head again and did a double-take at the way he stared at…well, nothing that I could see. After a few seconds he shook it off– literally. “It’s nothing. I’m fine,” he said. “Don’t you have to go soon?”

I frowned at him. “If you don’t want to talk about it it’s okay; you don’t have to–” I caught sight of my phone and the clock numbers thereon. I jumped up. “Fuck!”

“I’m just trying to help,” he said calmly, and he held onto the rickety table while I threw my shit together. “It seems like you’re more reluctant to go back to work these days.”

Of course he noticed. But then, it was hard to be subtle when I dreaded ever seeing my boss in fear of him asking about how ‘It’ was going. I sighed, slung my bag on my shoulder, and faced Steve. “Work is…work. It gets like this sometimes.” I shrugged like it was nothing. “So if you’re ever looking for someone willing to be chucked at an evil alien or something…”

“I have your number,” he said, smiling at me, and I saluted and ran out.

There wasn’t much smiling over the next few days. For either of us. On at least two of those days I was setting up follow-ups and moping about being rejected from the perfect job. And on a day after that I went through most of my lunch break before I noticed that I had hardly spoken to Steve at all.

I then noticed that he was abnormally silent. He sat with his back even closer to the wall and had his sketchbook tilted up so that he was ensconced in his own little world. I watched him for a while. He ignored me and showed an unnerving lack of emotion. No concentrated frown or unhappy scowl, just…nothing.

“Hey,” I said gently. His hand slowed to a stop and after a deep breath he looked at me. Under such a dead stare I almost floundered– was it really my business?– but I managed to spit out, “Are you…okay?”

I should have asked him how he was but that was a mistake I realized too late. “Yes. I’m fine,” he said and went back to his dead-faced drawing.

I didn’t know how to follow up and it was very blatant that he didn’t want me to, so I went to put my second earbud in.

“But…thanks for asking.”

I hesitated but Steve showed no physical sign of having said anything. But just the words, even flat as they were, made me breathe a sigh of relief as I put my headphones in. Something was better than nothing.

We went through the same routine for the next several days. The next time I came in after that, though, he was sitting with a book, his sketchpad shut and sitting next to him, and at least an inch between his back and the wall.

Still, I was wary. “Hey,” I said as I sat down.

“Hi.”

He sounded…not normal, but not bad. Not exactly. Distant, sort of, in a way that I didn’t know if talking to him would be bothering him. But then his eyes flicked up and I tried to think of something to say. An apology for staring would have been nice, but a coherent string of non-creepy words didn’t make it from my brain to my mouth.

“I, um…” I held back a sigh and tried to think, damn it. It took me a bit but Steve waited patiently for me to spit it out. “I know I keep asking how you’re doing, and I-I don’t want to be annoying, so I’m– I’m fine to keep asking, if that’s okay with you, but…but it’s okay if you don’t want me to keep asking. I won’t be offended.”

He gave that some thought. “Is it selfish that I like being asked even though I don’t really want to answer?” he said at last.

“Personally I don’t think so,” I said. “But I also don’t think it’s bad to be a little selfish sometimes.” If he did, I didn’t know why in the world he ever associated with me.

His smile was small and sad. “I’m more selfish than most people want to believe.”

“Everyone is,” I said. “I know it might not be comforting, but…at least you're not alone?”

“In some ways,” he said, staring at his sketchbook. He rested his hand on it, slightly curved and gentle fingertips moving over it with short, light, absent strokes.

I was curious but I didn’t want to ask. Well, not directly. “Are you working on a project?”

He glanced at me and then looked back down at it. And kept looking.

“If you want to tell me to butt out–”

“I don’t.”

I shut up. Steve looked around the shop like he was checking for lurkers and eavesdroppers, but there was no one even close that I could see. He beckoned me to come closer so I hopped over to the chair next to him and scooted in.

He opened up his book to a portrait that was downright breathtaking. A man’s face was lovingly rendered in a mix of pencil and ink, and while the style was similar to Steve’s other drawings, it was so incredibly different just in the obvious amount of time and care spent on it.

“James Buchanan Barnes,” Steve murmured, moving his hand to rest right next to the sly smile and fondly shining eyes. “Bucky. He was…my best friend; he was…”

The thing was– I was not completely ignorant of Steve’s past. He had been a very important figure in history: medical miracle, war hero, and walking tragedy. He had never caught my attention because the textbooks always made him sound so noble and red-blooded American male and boring. But I’d had a classmate-kind-of-friend who had been obsessed with him for a period of time and so I knew some things just by osmosis.

I had thought that, at least, but I really should have considered the source that information had come from. Anything school had fed me had gone in one ear and out the other but my sorta-friend had, at one point, gotten my attention with an aside about Steve likely being involved with his ‘best friend’ Bucky. I hadn’t thought much of it at the time beyond ‘good for him’ but years of being (lurking) in certain communities on the internet had really made it seem like a true-but-generally-unspoken thing. That, and the fact that he had said nothing because he was too busy stroking the drawing, made it pretty damn clear to me.

So I thought nothing of it when I tried to fill in the blank with, “Your boyfriend?”

It was…the absolute wrong thing to say.

Steve’s head snapped up and his face changed through expressions almost too fast to name– shock was one, anger was another, then–

“What did you say?”

His voice was not stern, or scolding, or panicked. It was…chilling. I didn’t know what the hell to make of it, but it scared me. I couldn’t even swallow, my mouth was so dry. “I–I’m sorry; I didn’t–”

He leaned in close. I leaned back, but I could only go so far. “Where did you hear that?” he said low and glanced around the room.

I became vaguely aware of the world around us and, thankfully, we were completely unnoticed. I breathed a sigh of relief but I still felt shaky. The guy could give a death stare like no one’s business. “It’s okay, no one heard–”

“Where?!”

I didn’t know how to answer that, though I scrambled to try, only to be cut off by the buzzing alarm on my phone. I cringed and tried to shut it up. I’d rather be late for my crappy job than leave things like this. “I– S-so I–”

“Go.”

Steve’s voice was dispassionate and calm and he sat back in his seat. He kept his eyes on the table and his hand lay flat on the sketchbook’s cover. I was frozen, stunned by his coldness, but he ignored me. I packed up, feeling sick and miserable, but before I left I stopped and tried to apologize. He glared at me with eyes that looked full of hurt, so I tucked my tail between my legs and ran.

It was evening and I was just settling in to be sad and pathetic and rue the day I ever spoke to anyone ever when my phone alerted me to a message. Only one person texted me without calling first, and after going through my work day in a state of constant near-tears while I replayed that moment over and over in my head, I was too fucking tired to deal with him just yet.

My phone buzzed again though. And again. On the way off-chance that it was my boss with a work emergency, I reached out from the Blanket Pit of Misery to grab my phone from the coffee table. I almost wished it was my boss when I saw Steve’s name.

However.

Steve: This is going to sound forward Steve: But can I come over? Steve: Or can you come to my place

I raised both eyebrows. Thankfully, the next parts came quick.

Steve: I’m sorry for today Steve: And this conversation shouldn’t happen in text Steve: Or public

I sat up and stared at the screen. On one hand: ‘I’m sorry’. On the other hand: an in-person conversation. Ugh.

Me: I don’t want to fight

His response was immediate and came in a flood.

Steve: We won’t Steve: I promise Steve: I didn’t mean it; I panicked Steve: And I’m sure you already figured out why Steve: But I need to explain it Steve: Please

I was really tired. But I knew that panic.

Me: How the hell do you text so fast

I sent him my address and spent his travel time trying not to freak out. When he knocked, I started to freak out about the mess. I shoved the blankets to the corner of the couch and grabbed empty cups to dump in the kitchen sink on my way to the door. I then stood there for a second to give myself a once-over– lounging clothes, but clean, and I was mostly decent, so I opened the door before I could chicken out. Steve’s eyes were cast down and he was hunched over into his usual brown leather jacket. He lifted his head in my general direction but didn’t really look at me but for occasional glances. He looked about how I felt.

“I guess misery doesn’t love company,” he said lightly.

I rolled my eyes and stepped back so he could step in. “You're not nearly sadistic enough to know,” I said and shut the door behind him. “Do you want something to drink?”

“No thanks. I think I’m going to throw up.”

I had been going to the fridge but at that I stopped and turned to face him. Steve was still hunched and seemed to be shrinking more with every second. I took a step forward and stopped when he flinched. “Hey,” I said gently. “It’s not the 40’s anymore; I’m not going to turn you in.”

“Don’t joke about that,” he muttered.

“I’m not!”

I hadn’t meant to be so loud– even Steve looked surprised enough to have a spark of life again. But he was standing up and I had his attention, so I ran with it. “I wasn’t making a joke of it before and I’m not making a joke of it now,” I said, because I had to make him understand. Somehow.

“I know you weren't joking before.” He fell back onto the couch, which creaked. “It made it…worse.”

I opened my mouth but he held up his hand. I waited, but when he took longer to compose himself I slowly walked over and perched on the edge of the other end of the couch. I felt so stiff I probably would have been more comfortable if I had remained standing, but the silence was so absolute that getting up would be too disruptive.

“Some people knew,” he said, so softly that I leaned in closer on instinct. He raised his voice a little. “Nobody talked about it. Ever. We were…as careful as you possibly could be when you love someone that much.”

He didn’t look at me. I didn’t move. I wanted to…reach out, put an arm around him, do something, but I didn’t know if we were quite there yet. Or if he was okay with being touched at all.

“Peggy definitely knew,” Steve said, staring at the floor but obviously not staring at the floor. “And after Bucky…fell…she–”

Steve turned his face away and wiped it. I scooted closer and put my hand on his arm. He didn’t pull away, so I stayed, but I was stock-still, afraid that if I moved an inch in either direction he’d push or pull or run.

He faced forward again with a dry face and his throat pulsed with his swallow. “I loved her too,” Steve said. “I could have– if I had made it out, we could have been happy, you know?” His smile was sad and wistful and his eyes shone just a little too bright. “I like to think so, anyway. Peggy was never disturbed by it. Sometimes even made some comments that, I think, if we had all made it out…”

He shook his head and got to his feet. “Bisexual,” he blurted out. He kept his back to me and barely glanced back. “I like that; it– it suits me. I think.” He turned to face me. “But I’m not…out. Obviously.”

I nodded. My heart was racing and the more he stared at me the harder it hit my chest, the harder it was to say something. But he took a slow step back, said, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have–” and then he stared to leave and I couldn’t, I couldn’t leave that there. No matter what it meant for me.

“I’m not out either!”

He stopped right at the door. I was almost not breathing when he looked at me sharply, but apparently having very obvious heart failure attested to my earnestness, because his eyes widened and his hand slipped from the knob. I swallowed and sympathized with how he’d had such a hard time with it. I felt like I was swallowing an egg-sized rock. But then he was utterly silent, so I asked, “Well? Does misery love company now?”

He flinched. “That’s not something to be miserable about.”

I shrugged, because that was easy to say, wasn’t it? He shifted from one foot to the other and looked extremely uncomfortable. It took me a moment to realize why that might be. “Yes,” I said and he nearly jumped. “We can be closeted bi besties.”

“I didn’t…mean to make you come out. I just–” He ran his hands over his face and through his hair. “I’m sorry. I’m a mess right now.”

“Just right now?” I asked. He actually made a sound that was kind of like a laugh. I sighed. I felt almost completely drained, but at least the hard part was done and over. “Take off your jacket and sit down,” I said and went to the fridge. “I don’t want you to break down in a cab or something.”

“I drove.” But Steve shrugged off his jacket and threw it on the coffee table as he sat back on the couch. “Motorcycle.”

“Even worse.” I brought back two water bottles and set one in front of him before I dropped onto the cushion right next to him. “I’m not gonna be the last person to see you before you wrap yourself around a pole.”

“I’d survive it.”

That was way too flippant and I couldn’t be trusted to touch it without also getting darker than I felt comfortable with. “Well, I’m sure you have a nice bike that doesn’t deserve that.”

We both sat in awkward silence. He picked at the paper wrapping and I chewed on the bottle rim, occasionally consuming some water by accident just because the damn thing was so full. “I’m sorry,” Steve said quietly. “That could have gone better.”

I put the bottle down. “Coming out is always awkward.”

“Even for you?” he asked and lowered his voice for, “Even now?”

“There’s always going to be someone, always,” I said. “And some that do it because, uh…they care, and they think it’s safer if you just… But– the times I’ve come out, I don’t regret it. Even when it blew up in my face. I never– I just don’t trust people, and sometimes I’m scared of what that makes me, of how detached I get, in the interest of keeping myself safe. I’m glad that, sometimes, even I can still trust people. Even if it’s just a little bit.”

I didn’t really expect anything, but of everything, I really didn’t expect Steve to turn his body and hug me so suddenly I went “oof!” He didn’t hold tight though, so I crossed my arm over to my shoulder to pat his hands awkwardly. And then, because he was hugging from my side and I couldn’t really return the gesture, I slipped my other arm around his back.

“Me too,” he said and let me go. “I’m…glad you can trust me with that.”

“Same,” I said. “Even if it was unintentional. I’m sorry; even if I was right I shouldn’t have said it like that. I know how that heart attack feels, so– I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you,” he said. He still sounded utterly miserable though.

I nudged him. “I promise I won’t say anything. It’s no one’s fucking business, right?”

He breathed. “In theory,” he said. He lifted his head and stared at nothing. “I’m going to have to make it be, though.”

Considering the guy couldn’t come out to defenseless old ‘tries not to talk to anyone else ever’ me without freaking the fuck out, coming out to the world seemed like a leap. “Why?”

He didn’t answer at first; he just sat there clenching his jaw so hard I was afraid he’d break his teeth. Then he stood up and paced, but from the marching motions it didn’t look like it helped much. Granted, my apartment was only so big and he couldn’t get a good stomp going, but still.

“I wasn’t going to,” he said and stopped. “I thought I could get around it, brush off interview questions and just act stupid. But then…” The muscles in his neck rippled with his swallow. “I was talking to this kid one week. They were so sweet, and they had a– a rainbow flag pin on their bag. I wanted to compliment it, but they saw me looking and covered it up. Then they made some excuse and left.”

He just stood there, but when I tugged at his shirt he plopped right down next to me. “They didn’t want to know,” I said softly, because as much as it sucked for him, I could really sympathize with that kid.

“And I hate it,” Steve spat like he was full of bile. “I hate trying to skirt those questions, I hate that the people who would have beaten me to death before the war look at me like they think I’m on their side; I hate that anybody like me is afraid to ask anything other than ‘are you okay that I exist.’” He sighed. “Most of all, I hate that I’m such a fucking coward I haven’t just said it yet. I need to, for my own sanity, but it’s…terrifying.”

I wished there was something I could say, something smart, or comforting, or even just kind. However I had a big load of nothing, so I just kept my arm around him and hoped it was enough that I was there. I hoped that he knew I understood.

He sat there, silent, but he didn’t leave, and eventually I got an idea. “Hey,” I said and got up. “Since you’re here, come on; I’m gonna show you how to play a video game.”

He didn’t protest, and even let me tug and shove him around until he was sitting on the edge of my bed and holding the controller in his ridiculous bear paws. “Fuck, your hands are big,” I said and eyed them. Maybe this was a bad idea. “You’ve got a gentle touch, right?”

He looked at me and made his lips a flat line. “You’ve seen me use tablets and phones.”

“Okay, point,” I said and settled in as the system loaded.

“I mean, I broke a half dozen of each before I got the hang of it, but I’m sure it won’t take me that many this time.”

I glared at him and he smirked, the little shit. As the starting screen came up I sat back. “Well,” I said. “At least if you break my controller you won’t have to worry about that pesky ‘coming out’ bullshit.”

He laughed.

It was probably good that he thought I was joking.

<<Previous Chapter Next Chapter>>

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers & reader #captain america fanfic #avengers fanfic #reader insert #lunch buddy

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brevelilium · 5 years

Text

The 21 tag

Answer and tag 21 individuals.

Tagged by @tacotits! Thank you lots, these games are super fun 🌟

1. Nicknames: My bestie calls me Bro ans my buddy sometimes calls me Commander (it's an old joke), but other than that I mostly get called by my name lol

2. Zodiac sign: Taurus

3. Height: My documents say 1.68 but I'm pretty sure I'm shorter than that... somewhere between 1.65 and that I'd say

4. Hogwarts house: Slytherin 💚

5. Last thing I googled: "pasta ai quattro formaggi", a recipe that my sibling needed to check (but ended up not using lol)

6. Favourite musician: Oh, way too many. I never really have a favourite when it comes to music, I just obsess over a few songs and/or musicians at a time

7. Song stuck in my head: Somebody to Love (💕) and Bottom's Gonna Be on Top (from the musical Something Rotten), which is funny because the second one isn't even one of my favourites from that musical, there's plenty that I love way more (I've been singing God, I Hate Shakespeare for WEEKS) so idk how it got stuck in my head haha

8. Following now: 163

9. Followers: 272

10. Do I get asks: Nah

11. Amount of sleep: Between 8/9 hours and it's not even enough, I absolutely NEED to get a decent amount of sleep or I legit won't function but I'm still constantly tired, what a joke

12. Lucky numbers: I hate numbers so technically none, but if I have to say 27 and I also like 3 because it's a very beautiful red in my mind (synaesthesia haha~)

13. What I'm wearing: A t-shirt and sweatpants

14. Dream job: Don't have one... I'd say Philosophy teacher but it's not really a dream job, it's just what I see as one of the best options for me. A desk job would also be nice tbh

15. Dream trip: I haven't travelled much up to now so there's actually a lot of places I'd like to visit. Germany, the UK, amd Greece, for example, there's SO many things I've always wanted to see there 💕 I'd also love to go to Ueda and visit Japan one day!

16. Favourite food: PIZZA ❤❤❤ I also wouldn't be able to live without piadina, and of course there's sweets. Pretty much any kind of sweets, the sweeter the better 💕

17. Instruments: I used to study the violin, but I was forced to stop because I broke a finger and when it was time to go back I realised that as much as I enjoyed playing studying music wasn't really for me, so I never picked it up again :\

18. Languages: Italian and English. I also know Latin and Ancient Greek (although I can't speak them for obvious reasons lol)

19. Favourite song: See above, I don't have favourites. Usually I fall pretty hard for any song that reminds me of the otp I'm currently obsessed with, so now there's a lot of sappy stuff about the ineffable idiots in my playlist haha

20. Random fact: While answering to #12 I realised that even though green is my favourite colour no number is green to me. Ridiculous. Maybe that's why I hate numbers, they make an ugly rainbow HAHAHA

21. Aesthetic: HHHHH Idk it depends,,? Medieval European castles. Stunning colours in the sky seen from a beach with very few people. A cosy living room, internet connection and a friend. Well-fitted shirts and elegant menswear. People with beautiful smiles treating you kindly. Friends laughing, being happy, not knowing that they look stunningly beautiful when they're happy. Literature, visual arts, theatre; all the amazing things that humans can make. The sun shining and your favourite song coming up on the radio while you're going to see your friend.

Wow wow wow ok this was even more fun than I expected, thanks again Mabs! ❤

I'm not tagging anyone so if you see this and you want to do it please consider yourself tagged by me!

#personal

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girlbookwrm · 5 years

Text

A New Year’s Thor

THE MIGHTY ENDGAME REWATCH CONTINUES WITH KENNETH BRANAGH’S thor

How did I spend New Year’s? Continuing our mighty pre-endgame rewatch with The Roommate ( @goteamwin ) and The Gal Pal ( @pegasuschick ). We’re watching Thor, the Kenneth Branagh-i-est of the Marvel Movies.

Note: We were all. Very Drunk.

“You know what’s worked great in all our movies so far? TIME JUMPS!” - every early marvel film.

right away I comment to The Roommate: What is up with all these angled shots?

The Roommate, a video editor and producer: Actually that’s called a canted shot.

Me, mere moments later: not a lot of shots in this that AREN’T canted, are there.

seriously, watch this movie. If I made note of every canted shot, these rewatch notes would be 90% CANT.

Stellan Skarsgard here bringing the Nord, and Natalie Portman bringing the... wait how the hell did they get Natalie Portman in-- oh right. Kenneth Branagh directed this.

hey it’s Tonsberg! like from CATFA! Neat!

listen there are too many blue cubes in marvel. This was super fucking confusing when I was wee and not yet obsessively into Marvel. There’s the Casket (which the frost giants use) and then there’s the Tesseract (which is different? but also blue??) and let it be known that in the comics there is ALSO the cosmic cube which is NEITHER of those things but the roommate initially called both the Casket and the Tesseract the Cosmic Cube, because -- as was previously mentioned -- this is super fucking confusing.

Let it be known that the Roommate, when quite young, went to see this movie in theaters with her very first boyfriend on her very first date.

The Roommate, Way Back When: So... they’re gods? like? the norse gods?

The Roommate’s Very First Boyfriend: They’re actually aliens.

The Roommate, Now: He was wildly underexplaining this.

what actually is this ceremony? what does it accomplish?

Tom Hiddleston has said nothing yet, but he has said So Much. Also,

The Roommate: Who is that lovely woman in the horned helmet? Loki has a beautiful woman’s face.

The Gal Pal: He does make a beautiful mare. The MOST beautiful mare, in fact.

She is Not Wrong.

thank god someone saved us from Malibu Thor here, he is Too Blonde

“I, Odin Allfather, Proclaim you the Frost Giants.”

this must have been so confusing for all the Asgardians here.

Oh hey it’s Sif and What’s His Face and That Other Guy and F...

farrrr...

franduil?

fan... dis?

AT THIS POINT WE HIT MIDNIGHT WHILE IDRIS ELBA WARNED US TO BE CAREFUL IN THE COLD WASTES OF JOTUNHEIM

FANDRAL!

fandral is his name.

At this point, while the fighting was going on, we got a lil side tracked talking about the movie in general.

The Roommate: It’s like the Temptation of Thor. Christ spent 40 days in the desert, Thor spends 48 hours in New Mexico.

The Gal Pal: Are you saying Thor is better at this than Jesus?

The Roommate: No, I’m saying he’s half-baked.

This is the first time Thor flies with the hammer and all i could think was “oh my god the hammer pulled you off???”

Dear Anthony Hopkins, what are your acting choices?

Anthony Hopkins: HUARGH!!!!!

aaaaaand thirty minutes in, we’re finally back to the beginning.

“Yes I did” Darcy is a T R E A S U R E

So much of this movie is Thor becoming unconscious. bless.

C A N T

All men (with a few odd token women), grilling, pickup trucks, literal “hold my beer” -- u s a, U S A, U! S! A!

pooter!

Hey! Phil is here!

aw yissss thor with no shirt -- sidenote: he’s definitely freeballing it here, right? I mean there’s no way he’s wearing underwear under those jeans. Doesn’t that chafe on his little hammer?

Let’s all agree that right up until he goes way off the deep end, Loki is 10000% not wrong about any of this. Thor was definitely not ready to be king, he was an idiot. and also, I was never much of a Loki fan, personally, but Loki’s having a real bad day.

Grows up being told that he was destined to be a king, but there’s only one throne --> has to watch his idiot brother get ?crowned? --> decides to play a prank (who wouldn’t, right?) --> fRoSt GIaNt???????? --> BRoTHerR BAnISHedD????????? --> FROST GIANT???????? --> ODINSLEEP?????????? --> KING NOW?????????? BUT FROST GIANT STILL??????????????

Loki and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

And seriously, what was Odin’s plan here? “I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, and I’d just pepper in the fact that you’re a frost giant and I kidnapped you and you’d be totally cool with it.”

Odin Allfather: A+ parenting, Literal baby snatcher.

THIS DRINK! I LIKE IT! ANOTHER!

The Roommate: I love that Jane’s motivation isn’t really to get with Thor, it’s to get with SCIENCE.

Sometimes I forget that this is actually a funny movie, but they just had no idea how to handle the comedy in it? like, they had a comedy script and they just filmed it like a straight drama/action movie for some reason.

“A pioneer in gamma radiation” Is that bruce???

follow up: yes. Yes it is Bruce.

The canting here is Very Cant.

What time of year is it in NM that everyone is wearing this many layers.

Thor being all: “I know ur midgardian but I’d tap that.”

Jane Foster: Brilliant Scientist, Menace on the Road.

Why. Why is the SHIELD site set up like this.

What purpose does it serve

why.

W H Y.

(subnote, we investigated this afterwords and apparently it’s designed to look like a sigil of the word SHIELD, like all the letters smooshed on top of each other but also IT IS NOT and also also THAT IS DUMB AS FUCK.)

(though grudgingly, i admit, thematically appropriate given the overall norse-ness of this movie.)

(STILL FUCKING STUPID)

sitwell!

What is causing this rain?

The Roommate: Because, like everything else from Asgard, Meu-myeh is Extra™

Hey it’s Hawkguy!

Side side note, I am pretty sure that I also went to see this movie with my very first boyfriend and he got super excited about Hawkeye like “omg it’s clint and he has a bow and he’s so fucking cool omg omg omg!” and i was just like “????? kay? but he passed over all those obviously superior guns and then he does literally nothing tho????”

fast forward and the first comic i bought for myself was Matt Fraction’s Hawkeye

aaaaand I’m dating a woman now.

Honestly cannot tell if windy or cant

H U A R G H ! ! ! !

I really want to go into the roommate’s Benedict Cumberbatch Upgrade Theory of Tom Hiddleston but also this is getting super long and honestly she’s so right it deserves its own post

nah I’m gonna

The theory goes like this: Bandersnatch Cucumberpatch is an alien scout sent to learn our ways and gain influence in our culture, but he’s like, the first draft. They weren’t really sure what a human was supposed to look like.

Tom Hiddleston is Model 2.0

Tom Hiddleston is the upgraded Benedict Cumberbatch

The roommate explained this to me and I just looked at her sidelong for a looooooooong minute and said: u sure u want me to put this on the internet? r u sure??

“You have great power, Heimdall”

The Gal Pal: yeah, ur the only black man is Asgard.

“hit you with my car” WAIT IS ALL THOR’S CHARACTER GROWTH THE RESULT OF TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY?

*CANT INTENSIFIES*

Thor: I’m just a man. Just a very tall, very handsome, VERY buff man.

wouldn’t it have been AMAZING if Jane had caught the hammer instead? I mean? WOULDN’T THAT HAVE BEEN FUCKING AWESOME????

Frigga: She Did Her Best, But She Still Raised The Two Dumbest Boys In the Nine Realms.

Despite my earlier statements, Loki definitely does end his day with attempted fratricide, successful patricide, and questionably successful genocide so.

“Is it madness? Is it? IS IT???”

The Roommate: I mean. Yeah, buddy.

At this point, Thor has No Idea what the fuck is going on. he doesn’t know Loki’s a frost giant.

ORRRR he does know, because everyone knew, everyone but Loki always knew.

Odin: *WAKES UP* WTF ARE MY SONS DOING?

“no loki” ODIN WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DUDE

“you’ve already made me proud” literally all you had to do was say that to your other son one (1) time.

wait is this a foo fighters song???

#the mighty pre endgame rewatch #thor

38 notes · View notes

nikatyler · 5 years

Photo

So, tumblrpocalypse, huh? I’m ready. I mean, I think I am ready. I have exported my blog just in case, I’m joining the protest tomorrow...guys, we are going to survive this. We can do it.

In other news, I’ve finally started playing gen 3 of NSB and it’s been great so far. Also, I’m proud of Ross. I’m not gonna say anything else but like...buddy, you have impressed me. Lol anyway, I feel like I’m always complaining about homework these days and yeah, there’s still a lot of it, but I have one last week left and then there’s Christmas break. Let me have this naive moment of thinking we won’t have any homework over Christmas. I already know we will. *sigh* Senior year. I’m losing my mind. There’s so much to do. It feels like we were doing nothing the three previous years and now the teachers have gone crazy. But oh well, I’ll survive that as well, just like the tumblrpocalypse.

So yeah. See you guys on Tuesday. In case you miss me (which I don’t think you will but oh well), you can always find me on twitter.

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “~ the best days of my life”

They look so sweet together

I knoooow ;_; When it comes to ranking how good my ships look together, these two are probably one of my favourites. Then again they’re probably one of my favourites in general, I like how their relationship developed and how Caleb actually made Ross a better person (even though he doesn’t feel like he did anything special but Ross is aware of the change and he’s grateful for him).

simmering-pancakes replied to your photoset “This dog scares me. He looks so innocent but he’s actually worshipping...”

As one does!

Yup. My Sunday afternoons are like this. Allll the time.

simlovinggirl replied to your photoset “December would be so proud of her.”

LOL xD I'm happy to see they have a better relationship now ♥

Me too ;_;

simside replied to your photoset “You’re gonna freeze to death. Just saying.”

I love them so much.

Saaaaame. And to think it took me ages to realize that they’re “shipping material” lol

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “This dog scares me. He looks so innocent but he’s actually worshipping...”

I luv doggos who summon Satan

I actually love all doggos

Mood but me too

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “P**nbots? On my innocent spaceblr?”

truly a big mood

Wonder if she’ll have to deal with them after 17th December...is the ban effective or not? 🤔 We shall see! tbh I don’t think it’ll work the way they intended because this is tumblr ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: Oh my g– they’re dead. They were old and they…died.”

Darling dying in front of Caleb rn is WILD bc in my NSB, MC Command Center married him and Darling. They had three kids before Darling died (I guess MC didn't let Darling become a vampire?), and then he immediately married someone else. Quite the contrast to your NSB Caleb and his story arc

I think I literally went “hkjhflgkafjlkj” when I read this. I made such a weird excited noise because god I live for dumb little things like this

jackssims replied to your photoset “Vlad the fashion legend is back.”

An icon

The one and only

pixelhart replied to your photoset “Wrong direction, sweetie.”

10/10 amazing

She’s talented

gamingtweety replied to your photoset “Father Winter: “I’ll forgive you this one time. But don’t forget, real...”

Caleb at the background like "yeyy she got the gift!!" ��

He’s the supportive stepdad Sunset has always deserved

glammoose replied to your post “94”

I took my list way too seriously too, I'm not sure they actually order it by plays? I also have last.fm to track it

I think so too. I might also be getting confused because I listen to a lot of music offline when I can’t use the internet. There are some songs I listen to every day on my way to school and they’re not on the playlist because I clearly don’t listen to them as often when I’m at home.

create-a-sim replied to your post “94”

Bon Jovi <3

Y E S

not gonna lie we lowkey stan? (Ew I hate myself for writing this sentence. The meaning of it is true I guess but the way I decided to say it is...yikes I do hate myself for sure) But yeah. Also it was an accident. I was fine knowing just the most popular songs and then somehow whoops nevermind kinda obsessed

“somehow whoops nevermind kinda obsessed” sums up my entire life tbh

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Sunset: *tells one joke and gets hysterical*”

oh this is a mood

A very relatable one

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Sunset: “Hey Father Winter, I’ve been a good kid, right?” Father...”

Can't get over how pretty Val looks in this picture *.*

She’s gorgeous *-*

elisabettasims replied to your photoset

He is too pure for this world.

Yeah. Also, too pure to be a vampire, but I’m kinda glad he’s one because I don’t have to worry about him dying lol

simtress replied to your photoset “Holiday Cottage I just wanted to build something Christmas-y. I’m not...”

So nice!

Thank you ♥

kymmaisims replied to your photoset “1200 Followers Gift: Gen 5 Pose Dump And the award for the worst...”

Thank you for always making so many great story telling poses! I appreciate you so much.

I don’t deserve such kind words, thank you so much ;_;

#replies #dandylion240 #simmering-pancakes #simlovinggirl #tiny-tany-thaanos #alfalfalegacy #jackssims #pixelhart #gamingtweety #glammoose #elisabettasims #simtress #kymmaisims #simside

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survivemiddleearth · 6 years

Text

Rites of Passage

Crow- Bruh. I thought we were going to be friends/allies in this game but then I hear you were telling the entire tribe how I was not to be trusted and as much as you mock me for my lack of a social game, it sure saved me there! But still love ya and hope things have gotten better, and hey, maybe you were smart for targeting me from the start :P

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmc21V-zBq0

Roxy- runaway with me noww oh its come away with me fuck

Dylan- king of first boot

Well mine was short lol. but I think Crow has played an amazing game and def deserves this dub :)

Crow- Although I personally trusted you, you were just unfortunately the outsider from the start and with having proof of Drew/Zach sparing me, I didn't want to risk reaching my neck out for you and getting labeled as trying to play both sides. You were robbed though, it was just because our tribe was so garbage at comps...

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2WWrupMBAE

Roxy- We didn’t meet in this game

Dylan- king of second boot

Crow- Legendary flop! You were hilarious and completely messy and if there's any way to bond with me, it's that. Unfortunately flops are always targeted for some reason pre-merge (maybe cuz they wreck their tribe average??? no shade, but) but I would have KILLED for your commentary from post-merge onwards cuz I felt completely alone being the only one constantly hogging the spotlight :/

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfHHv7yOYX0

Roxy- skinny legend

Dylan- you would have killed the lip syncing comp but these losers flipped the vote

Aah, what a fun time I had during this game (from the little I remember). I still would like to say it was a wonderful tribal, 8-0? wow so great. COuldn’t do it without people hating me <3 jkjk. Anyways! It was fun while it lasted and hopefully was fun for everyone that was in it too.

Crow- Okay, truth be told, I really thought you were like the social queen of your tribe but when tribal came around and people said your name, I felt powerless, as the only person from Pikachu, to try and sway it, and especially when you seemed okay with it. Thank you for having a graceful exit, not many people can do that nowadays....

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CID-sYQNCew

Roxy- http://sketchtoy.com/68755176

Dylan- queen of having crazy fast internet. accepted her defeat which was iconic

This game seemed very fun and I loved the opportunity to play, I wish I didn’t get so busy so I could’ve backstabbed Roxy like I planned. Ah well. Congrats on getting so far I hope the game was fun for you all!

Crow- I know I'm a big reason why you were cut just shy of merge but it was more of a move to solidify Sammy/Johnny (and supposed to be Eric...) and break apart the potential trio I saw in you, Roxy, and Dennis (I mean, now I'm sitting next to both of them in f4 so can't say I regret it :P ) You were a very intelligent, brash guy and I hope you know that your placement was not indicative of your game. Hope the novel turns out well!

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1tAYmMjLdY

Roxy- MY AUSSIE BUDDY UGH/ I wonder how this game wouldve gone with you here. You were fun to talk to and play with and i loved chatting about the shows we both loved together/

Dylan- king of being blindsided. second season where I watched you get blindsided from a different tribe.

Crow- Thank god you didn't try in this game. I didn't even want to get into the ring with you again and go for Round 3. Thanks for making this one easy :P

Dennis- You freaking stole my tom bombadil to just be inactive -.-

Roxy- L

Dylan- making it to merge without doing anything ? queen

That damn bitch Beyoncé got me again huh. I swore I wouldn't let her after last time but she always has to have the last word. Thank god she's been outed as a satanic black witch!!! Thank you to the brave former drummer for walking in the light and exposing her depravity. I will expect my reparations settlement money in the mail.

Crow- Okay I literally feel so bad like comforting you in that round but know that I was completely blindsided by it myself so I really hope that wasn't misunderstood as me trying to make sure you were blindsided asghsgsho but thanks for taking the bullet then! Love a good shiel- bodyguard.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdCslA8xs98

Roxy- nnnn I remember when I saw you in merge I was hyper excited to play with you. I never really allied with you or met you in games so finally getting to play with you finally a familiar face from your tribe was refereshing and welcoming. I told you to f2 me or im quitting lmfao. That lasted long ... rdfc Your vote off was a mess of flipping multiple names thrown and idols. I feel like we drifted during the day or 2 leading up to the tribal and we didn't really talk game that round which was sad. I really wanted to have you as a clsoe allly that game but it ended up the way it did since I saw jg as a closer ally.

Dylan- literally actually the most robbed person in this entire game. you were missed

This game was pretty fun. All of the people I was close to voting me out and losing on a twist was pretty shitty. I’d just never do these challenges ever again. :P

Crow- You're honestly just a mess. P.S. My beard is now gone because of you.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRh_vgS2dFE

Roxy- hahah hi hi johnny. “Daddy”. You are always a great blast to play with even though we have yet to truly get somewhere together. ALthough in hos we were close it was just a diverging of end game interests that tore us apart. I remember the jokes we made about applying for this org. I had no idea when I was applying that I would make it this far and when I applied for you as a joke haha. My biggest regret is not telling you about the vote and what was going down. Our relationship this game was sort of foggy but it was great while it lsted.

Dylan- voted for me but you’re so lovable

Crow- We were never on a pre-merge tribe together, then you made the big-ass move to blindside Drew at the first vote (without telling me, which no hard feelings) so when it came down to our mini-tribe's tribal, I felt like it was too little too late for both of us to try and make something happen together? I'd say we just fell on opposite sides rather than being enemies. But I hope you've been watching because I know you're an analytical guy who's obsessed with Survivor so I would love to hear your input as a juror.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YShWLjj1TO0

Roxy- UGH SO ROBBED!!! We had so much potential to play a fun game together but the unmerge robbed us of that T_T im glad we got to play together for one round at least

Dylan- you and I have a lot in common, we both put our trust in the wrong person.

Hey y’all! This was game was fun and fresh and I did better than last time so I definitely achieved my goal! There really wasn’t anything shady going on until the night I left and I’m sure that was aired out so I have nothing to spill. Tbh I was just bored and wanted to be messy and have fun. It was a fun last night! I had a great time playing with everyone and good luck to the final 4!

Crow- Truth be told, I really didn't see myself voting you out so soon. I thought we were working together, sorta, but it always felt like you had better allies? Which I don't fault you for, I know I was not the most critical ally, for like, anyone in this game, but that's purely the reason I decided to vote you out over Eric. I might regret it though since Eric pretty much shunned me from there on out and I know you would've really appreciated me saving you.....but it is what it is. (also you didn't swipe on my tinder so im kinda insulted but dats fine!)

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM

Roxy- Hey zach!! You seem like a really sweet person. We didn’t really hit if off and we never clicked together. WE had different allies and diff groups so us allyining was never really an option. I recon its just how the game unfolded and you were loyal to your allies while i was to mine and i respect you for that despite the mess of how you left.

Dylan- why didn’t you give me the legacy idol. I’m kidding I would’ve misused it

I really didn’t know what I was getting into here, and I REALLY liked it!! Who knew performing arbitrary semi-public tasks with complete strangers could be so much fun? I wish each of you the best, in the game and out of it. May Manwë smile upon those who walk the world; may Mandos rule with steady hand those who rest in his hall.

Crow- Literally, you were the only one I was just like, hey, he's probably not going to lie to me. And so it's ironic that we also never talked game other than the casual vote here and then....you were a very interesting person though so I wish I hadn't got caught up in the game as much and really tried to connect with you as a person, and for that, I take the blame.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE-1RPDqJAY

Roxy- Ford!! When I first saw you in the scvanger hunt I asked "are you single ?" nnn you seem like a cool dude and you were fun to play with despite the fact we never really talkde game and we werent really aligned this game/ I still promised you to be honest to you and I think i pulled through on that. It was amazing fun to play with you and i hope you luck in yoru studies.

Dylan- you were amazing sweetie as a newbie you made it so far omg

Hey guys! Like I said before I quit, I have no regrets about the game and how I played it. If I stuck around the community I would have loved to be friends with all of you! Best of luck to you all and may the best player win!

Crow- Hope everything is okay in your real life and I hope you were never offended by anything I did or said. I completely understand your game decisions and you don't ever need to apologize for them. You were a chaotic mess, but genuine and real, so you have my respect. You also proved what I've always thought you were (even back in Great Lakes) as a really go-getter type of player.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrcMMyNeJJs

Roxy- rip gl with life

Dylan- I loved how we found middle ground during the F7.

hiii yes i don’t have much to say. i had a blast and made some amazing friends and just goofed off a lot. No hard feelings, you are all icons...I’m rooting for one of you but i wish you all good luck!

Crow- Okay I love you as a person, but like, you also betrayed me for no reason so I'm a little confused as to why or how we stand now, but just know that whatever your reasons for doing so, it doesn't change how I see you as a person. And even through my bitterness in the betrayal, I will admit, you didn't deserve to go out like that.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSvFpBOe8eY

Roxy- Sammy!! Weve had a very varied ride in our org careers and this game was no exception/ I feel like timezones really got to us this time round and early on our games diverged when I tried to save stephen and you tried to save Eric. During merge and then unmerge i think you bonded more with jay and that tribe so we never really played as allies. Howveer i think the way you left did not give you justice. Jay letting you get idoled out after you were one of the few who stuck with her and then her quitting just because people were voting her out. You did NOT deserve that. And I was honestly mad at jay for doing you dirty.

Dylan- cirie who ? Jay shoulda used that idol on you you were the second most robbed queen

Crow- Well, I had your back. I knew of multiple of your misdeeds in previous rounds and I think you knew that? But game-wise we were very compatible in playing styles (not similar, but definitely compatible - you were the strategic one, I was the......other...one) so although your exit was less than glorious for me, I do hope you find comfort in your gameplay and know that you were really impactful on the game, for better or worse.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXzDu071RdQ

Roxy- nnnnnn she snapt

Dylan- there’s not enough space to describe anything but the takeaway is that I hope you know that like I actually genuinely care about your well being

We just want to say a sincere thank you to everyone who came to have fun and played to their fullest extent. Jo and I have worked on this game for months and like we’ve said all along: the goal for this was for everyone to have fun in the chaos and the world of LOTR and Survivor combined. There’s a lot of drama and toxicity in the org community and in the world right now and if this game provided you with any sort of reprieve from either that’s all we could ever hope for. We hope you had a great time, we know we did, and we want to reiterate again: thank you all for bringing this game to life and for participating. Good luck to our final 4!

Love,

Olivia and Joanna <3

#outwitoutplayoutrunthewitchking

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fourteenacross · 6 years

Text

year in review

Time for the year in review! I do these two surveys and the writing one every year, though the writing one is gonna wait until I have time to collect all the links and do the word count and everything.

Fandom 2017

1. Your main fandom of the year?

Definitely still Hamilton on the reading/writing front. In the "this is all I talk about" way, it was probably Great Comet or maybe Malloy in general because I still want to talk about Ghost Quartet all the time.

2. Your favorite film watched this year?

(Hahaha, in last year's meme I said something about finding Moana surprisingly moving and wanting to see it again. I ended up seeing it like, five times in theatres.)

But actual films that I actually saw in 2017 that weren't Moana. Probably Get Out. It's really a masterful piece of work in my very favorite genre. I made a zillion people see it. I still think about it all the time. And [vague spoilers] the bit where Rod comes out of the car is probably my favorite movie moment in 2017. [/vague spoilers]

3. Your favorite book read this year?

I can narrow it down to my top three, which were Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee, Star-Crossed by Barbara Dee, and Ghostland by Colin Dickey. The first two are completely unsurprising--Gentleman's Guide is my favorite sort of narrative, where there are exciting adventures and also a queer romance and everyone lives happily ever after. Star-Crossed is the book I needed when I was thirteen, and Ghostland is something I'm still talking about all the time.

4. Your favorite album or song to listen to this year?

Did I listen to anything new this year? Oh, Ghost Quartet! Definitely Ghost Quartet, it was all I listened to for about two months.

5. Your favorite TV show of the year?

Oh god, I don't know? There was nothing I was obsessive over. New stuff that I liked: One Day at a Time, The Good Place, and...maybe that was it?

6. Your favorite online fandom community of the year?

idk. To be honest, I still don’t quite ~*~get~*~ tumblr (tho I had some nice conversations via the chat function, despite my general awkwardness as a human), LJ is dead, and while I connect with fandom friends and talk about fandom on Twitter, I don’t do that as much as I whine about my life. I guess AO3 has been great via comments received, but that also feels one-sided, as chatty cathy as I sometimes get when responding to people’s comments. Most of my fandom conversations this year have PROBABLY been over text?

^^^^ That's what I wrote last year and it probably remains true, except to say that I had a lot of gr8 conversations about my dumb fic with @lisapizza.

7. Your best new fandom discovery of the year?

I don't think I had one, unless you count Ghost Quartet.

8. Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?

Everything that happened around the end of Great Comet. I'm still angry and heartbroken over it.

9. Your fandom boyfriend of the year?

I'm changing this from "your TV bf" and "your TV gf" because I just don't watch a ton of teevee anymore. Still, even with that change, I'm not sure I have a fandom boyfriend right now. I have been pretty anti-dude this year. OH, I guess unless you count Lucas Steele getting all up in my biz on stage when I saw Comet in August XD

10. Your fandom girlfriend of the year?

Probably Brittain Ashford or Morgan Marcell.

11. Your biggest squee moment of the year?

My entire Chicago trip was pretty great, including seeing Karen as Angelica which was WOW. Seeing Malloy as Pierre. The final performance of Great Comet in a ferris wheel with @lisapizza @charmingpplincardigans and @chiasticbees

12. The most missed of your old fandoms?

Mostly I miss having close buddies in fandom. I miss texting @pearlo every dumb fic idea I have and planning trips and parties for people to come do fannish stuff together.

13. The fandom you haven’t tried yet, but want to?

I’m p mono-fannish, so I’m good for now.

14. Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?

Oh god, I don't know? Heroes, probably. It's weird not doing DragonCon this year. Um, Hamilton in Boston. Whatever happens with Moby Dick. Black Panther and A Wrinkle in Time. The Simon vs. movie.

***

General 2017

What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

Went on a non-con vacation with friends! Recorded a live podcast episode (twice!)! Uh...probably other things?

Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

+ Read more adult books

Aahahahaha, if I did that, it was by like...one. So no.

+ Keep track of good things that happen

I started this at the end of the year? But I did not start in January, so much of the year is lost to my shitty memory.

+ Make a writing schedule and try to stick to it for at least a month

This did not happen.

+ Be better with money–pay off half the credit card

This also did not happen.

+ Go on more dates

This also did not happen. I did go on some, but not as many as 2016 and I spent a large chunk of 2017 dragging my feet over asking someone out instead of just...asking.

Next year:

+ Come up with a better way to track reading/writing/finances + Set up some kind of writing schedule + Cook more often + Schedule at least a couple days a month that are designated "get nothing done" days, so I have at least a couple days where I'm not an anxious mess over not doing enough. + Go somewhere new + Go on more dates--there will be more kissing in 2018, I stfg.

Did anyone close to you give birth?

Caitlin had a baby! I still haven't met him :(

Did anyone close to you die?

The only person I can think of is Sara, a con friend who I know through several of my closer friends. It was weird being at con without her.

What countries did you visit?

Just the US. Hoping to change that in 2018. I did go to ATL, Charlotte, and Chicago, but even that feels like less travel than I normally do.

What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?

I’d like to feel more on top of things. I’d like more organization in my life. I’d like more sleep. I’d like a girlfriend.

^^^^ Keeping that answer from last year.

What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

January 21 and the Women's March, which was amazing and energizing. June 13 when we saw Malloy as Pierre and that whole weird weekend. September 3 and having the final performance of Great Comet in a ferris wheel. (And also crying my cosplay make-up off all day like a nerd.)

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Staying alive? I feel like this was not a particularly strong year for achievements.

What was your biggest failure?

The whole year feels kind of like a fuzzy grey blur. I feel like I can come up with nine hundred failures, but none of them were particularly bad.

Did you suffer illness or injury?

I started the year off with a broken foot and also with a cold that lasted almost a week. The usual brain stuff was worse than usual thanks to the state of the world. I got glasses.

What was the best thing you bought?

Tickets to Great Comet and Hamilton and Ghost Quartet and Ghost Light and all the other shows and things I saw. My trip to Chicago. My skeleton onesie.

Whose behavior merited celebration?

My friends. A lot of excellent activists.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

The American people as a whole and everything associated with our clusterfuck election outcome.

Where did most of your money go?

Grown-up type stuff (rent, utilities, groceries), cons, and travel.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Chicago, HeroesCon, DragonCon, Hamilton, Great Comet, Ghost Quartet. Galentine's Day and my Great Comet wake and my Halloween party.

What song will always remind you of 2017?

I feel like this question is more aimed towards people who listen to the radio. My answer is going to be Ghost Quartet because I listened to that a lot.

Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? I would say that, overall, 2017 has been a sadder year for me than 2016, because up until November, my 2016 was pretty great. But this very moment right now, I think I'm probably slightly happier than I was in December 2016 because everything seemed SO bleak at that point, and at least now there's been some hope.

b) thinner or fatter? Same.

c) richer or poorer? Same.

What do you wish you’d done more of?

Writing. Sleeping. Going on dates. Hanging out with people.

What do you wish you’d done less of?

Being depressed. Obsessing over stupid shit people said on the internet.

Did you fall in love in 2017?

Nope.

What was your favorite TV program?

For new stuff, probably The Good Place.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Many, many people. THANKS, POLITICS.

What was the best book you read?

See above for more details on this one.

What was your greatest musical discovery?

Ghost Quartet.

What did you want and get?

Cons, brunch, travel, various tickets to things, my skeleton onesie.

What did you want and not get?

Impeachment. A girlfriend. More sleep.

What was your favorite film of this year?

Get Out

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 32! I had a party and we played Drawful and @lisapizza made me a beautiful cake!

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Any sort of fix to our current political mess.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?

Retro-y dresses.

What kept you sane?

@ginthusiastic @pearlo @caphairdadbeard @isjustprogress @intrikate88 @lisapizza @charmingpplincardigans @anachronistique @chiasticbees @brilligspoons and the rest of the Boston crew whose tumblrs I don’t know/remember, and the DCon crew and Great Comet and Hamilton and GBBO and social media breaks.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Brittain Ashford, Morgan Marcell, the entire cast of The Last Jedi.

What political issue stirred you the most?

It's hard to pick just one when the whole country is on fire.

Who did you miss?

Pretty much everyone when they are not right next to me. Sarah Bay, a lot, but I feel weird singling one person out. [This is exactly what I wrote for the last three years, but I’m keeping it because it’s still true.]

Who was the best new person you met?

I’m trying to think of actualfax new people I met? I can't think of anyone?

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017:

No one cares about facts.

Quote a song that sums up your year:

I will try to forgive myself for living in the dark for my loss of wonder for forgetting how to play

I will try to forgive myself for being absent in public and bored before stars

for not remembering for not being in my body for not starting right now I will try to see myself as I am

#stuff about me #2017

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ladydracarysao3 · 7 years

Text

#metoo

Alright, so I was inspired by another blogger on here to get into more detail about what happened (and then some). She used the term ‘triggered’ about what this hashtag thing has done to her, and I completely agree. Things I thought were long in the past and dealt with have been resurfacing and haunting me, but I am in no way interested in sharing the #metoo on facebook or twitter or any of that.

Below the cut are the 2 main heavy-hitters of past sexual harassment and assault experiences. They are not the only men, unfortunately, but no one has time for all of the skeletons in this closet. These are the stories of the first offender and the ‘worst’ offender. So be warned about that, and feel free to not read any of this. I think this is just some bizarro therapy so that maybe these stories will stop haunting my mind while this hashtag thing is going on.

Ryan.

When I was 12 years old, I was hanging out with my male cousin who was more like a brother. One of his older brother’s friends was with us and we were reading through an email chain and giggling about it. It was a list of pick-up lines. I was 12, my cousin was 14, and this other kid, Ryan, was 16. Ryan then took this silly thing and made it personal by staring at me and asking if he could wear my thighs as earmuffs. I didn’t even really know what that meant, but it made me scared and I just froze. My cousin then said, “hey man, that’s my cousin,” and the game was over.

Two years later I was on AOL IM (I’m really dating myself with these references) and the older cousin was chatting with me about how he and his girlfriend had just been kissing. I told him that I’d never been kissed. Low and behold, that 16 year old from 2 years ago starts messaging me. I’m now 14 and he’s 18 and about to start college. He starts telling me how he wants to be my first kiss. From that point on, we were talking a lot. Everyone in the family knew we were buddies, but he had a girlfriend and no one seemed to suspect anything more. I liked having the attention of this older and really cute guy, and since he lived 5 hours away something felt safe about it at first.

It didn’t take long before his need or obsession with being my first kiss turned into an obsession with taking my virginity. He talked about how he wanted to watch the movie Kids with me and have sex while the first scene played. If you don’t know, that was an NC-17 movie from the 90s where in the first scene an older boy fucks a really young virgin and then leaves, talking about how he only likes virgins. Charming.

Ryan talked me into doing things like scanning my panties and emailing them to him. I hated it. It made me feel dirty and awful, but he wouldn’t stop asking until I relented. He also talked about me...bottling my juices...and mailing it to him. He was a disgusting creature. OH and I forgot to mention, he was the son of my grandmother’s best friend.

He was away at college when I went to visit my family that fall. He said he was going to come home and we’d have sex in his van after he gave me alcohol to relax me...but he had car trouble, or maybe he was all talk, I have no idea, but he didn’t show up, thank god.

I was in way over my head and had no one I thought I could talk to. I was very active on the internet (shocker) and decided to write to one of my online friends. I told him all about Ryan’s plans and how they didn’t happen, and I wasn’t sure what to think. I left my email account logged into the family computer and while I was at school, my mom found that email.

When I came home, she sat me down, fully expecting me to freak out and demand I be able to keep talking to Ryan. But when she told me what she read the email and that I was to no longer talk to him, I was so relieved that it was over that I thanked her and hugged her.

She told my Aunt about it, who told her sons, and last I knew, when Ryan tried to come around to hang out with them and their friends, they shunned him and walked away. I remember feeling shocked that they ostracized him for me, but also loved. It meant a lot.

Chris.

22 years old. Fresh out of a 4 year engagement with an emotionally manipulative piece of work. He didn’t make this list because it would definitely turn into a novel. Anyway, I’m living in an apartment, technically with a roommate, but he decided to join the Marines and was away at boot camp, so I was living alone for the first time in my life. Dating sites were starting to be a thing then, and I was on the free ones. I was wild. I had been in an unhappy, oppressive relationship, and when I got out I felt free, and dead inside, and self destructive.

Through one of these dating sites, Chris found me. I knew his name was Chris, he was 35, and I knew he was a police officer in the area, and that’s all I knew. He made sure of that. He bugged me and bugged me, but that fact that he was a cop didn’t sit well with me so I evaded him for months. Finally he pleads to just have one date with him and go from there. Said things like, “If you smoke pot or something and you’re worried about being busted, I don’t care about that. I just want to meet you.”

I relented, and we had plans for a date. I didn’t know much about him, which made me nervous, but he said it was only because he met a girl once that ended up being crazy and would call his station all the time, so he wanted to make sure I was cool before he told me anything else. (red. fucking. flag.)

One afternoon before our date, he texted me and said he was off duty and wanted to know if I’d be interested in meeting up now, so we could get over the first meeting jitters before the big date night. I was a little weirded out by it, and he said he was in my neighborhood, and well...I was really fucking nervous, but I said okay. Soon after, he’s at my door. I turned on the TV and we sat on the couch. I told him I didn’t believe the cop thing, since he was so secretive about what station he worked for, and he showed me his badge. Then things got scary.

Instead of just talking for a little bit, her started pushing me around. I was sitting on the end of the couch with my knees to my chest and he pulled at me legs and ripped them open and tried to touch me. I kept kicking him off and telling him no, but he kept attacking me. It was terrifying. He was stringer than me. We were alone, and he wouldn’t stop. I got away and told him to leave, and then he changed his tactics. He followed me through the apartment, apologizing and refusing to leave. He became more gentle and kissed me... and told me how badly I wanted it, if I would just give in.

I was scared. He wasn’t leaving. But he wasn’t being violent anymore, and I didn’t want that to return. I told him no, to please just go a few more times and he continued to kiss me and touch me and tell me how much I wanted it. What I wanted was for it to be over. Eventually, I undressed for him, he writhed hi sweaty, grunting body on top of me for a few minutes, and then he left.

I felt so used. So stupid for letting him in my home in the first place. And so fucking confused. I still thought we were going to have that date after that.... it wasn’t until his communication vanished that I realized what really happened, and what I gave into.

I felt so stupid. I felt like a whore. I hated myself. I didn’t even know that was rape until I shared a little bit of it with my mom during a road trip. She told me I was raped, and it all made sense. But there was nothing I could do about it. I had a first name, that could have been - and probably was - a fake name, and a flash of a badge. I’ve tried to find him on rosters or social media, but never did. I was ashamed of letting him in my house. I was ashamed of letting him attack me. I was ashamed of letting him win. I ultimately just wanted to forget it.

About a year later, I found my now husband - on the internet! We played WoW together for months before I ever new what he looked like. I fell for him before I knew his name. By this point we were living together, and I was finally in the most stable, loving, and perfect relationship I had ever known. I was healing from all of the shit I had been put through; being stalked my my Ex and threatened with his assault rifle; being used and abused by men over and over and over. I was finding my happiness and my husband was helping me. Then one day, I get a text from Chris. He has some bullshit story about being in Iraq as security for a year and wants to see me again. I can’t remember what I said, but I told him off. And that was that. I was glad to have the chance to tell him what a creep he was, and I stored the story away. Moved on. Until this hashtag.

I don’t know how to end this other than that. I could write a book and how I was treated by men since I was 12 years old, and how I kept coming back for more. How they made me feel worthless to the point of almost killing myself. How for some reason a man’s approval, no matter how awful he was, was more important to me than my own for a very very long time.

Now, I am in a stable relationship with a man who treats me like his queen and his partner. He is everything I ever wanted and never thought I deserved. I still deal with issues sometimes of thinking I’m not good enough for him, that he deserves better than this sack of crazy that he married. But He helps me through that.

He helped me save myself from the hellscape my emotions were, and he is so supportive when I revert back to bad days and hard times dealing with people and life.

We are expecting our first child and I was relieved to find out he’s a boy. I was terrified of the idea of raising a girl and the idea that she might be put in situations like I had been while growing up. The landscape is so much different now, it’s so much easier for predators to get into young girls heads. If I do end up with a daughter down the road, I hope I can raise her to be strong, to say no, and to come to me no matter what.

But I was relieved that I have the chance to raise a man who will not do these things. I want to raise a man who will respect everyone he comes in contact with, who will never dream of hurting someone, and who will have the courage to stick up for himself and others in the event that wrong is being done.

#metoo #I hope this helps someone?#it was rather cathartic for me

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