#thank you for being normal australia and antarctica

[andnowanowl]

When you get down to it, the politics around the continents is sort of insane. Say you don't consider North and South America separate because the Panama Canal is artificial (and only so deep), but what about the Isthmus of Suez? It's entirely natural but humans have expanded the waterways around it artificially. Does that mean Africa is not part of Eurasia?

Do you only consider certain continents separate because of continental drift in the recent past? India is considered a subcontinent because it used to be separate from the rest of Asia.

[tearsoftime0086]

Uhhhh so while I'm distracting myself from finishing my fic, here's a ton of random headcanons for a steve burnside lives au and what would happen after they get off the island (aka writing notes that i will never get to bc holy heck does wesker not having t-veronica change things)

The fact that steve's not vaccinated nor inoculated means that they do a data scrape for potential cures of the Antarctica facility before they blow it up (I'm thinking the explosives come from the contingency plan alexander had)

Chris showed up on the island with a two seat fighter jet. Steve and Claire get some sleepy snuggles in the back seat

Why didn't wesker show up in the intermediary? Uhh good question - probs bc to him steve's still a walking b.o.w and much more difficult to retrieve

Chris, claire, and steve debrief a little on the way back for alibi matching, what to reveal/hide. Obvs the main topic is how much they tell about steve's t-veronica. There's a lot of physical signs, so it's a tough situation

They land somewhere in australia for a few days to get their bearings. Claire gets in contact with Leon, who's INSISTENT they don't get USSTRATCOM too involved. He's still feeling guilty over how everything with sherry went

Meanwhile Steve's still rattled over the whole thing and is even more unnerved when the injuries heal over (except the veins) - the three of them talk about sherry and jill, but steve's starting to be more convinced he needs some kind of serious help

(As for how this all actually resolves??? That is a problem for future me, or anyone else who's reading this post haha)

They eventually land back in the states, and claire meets up with sherry. They confide in each other and the topic of steve comes up. He ends up tagging along next time, to when sherry inconspiciously mentions that he looks like a derpy version of leon. Steve's irked until he does finally see a picture of leon and has to be like "wow you're right. This guy's handsome as hell"

Sherry and him connect over their shared infection woes, so he becomes the "derpy uncle" of their little family

Chris doubles his energy with Jill on founding the BSAA and amassing their trusted contacts with the additional pressure of someday getting steve fully stable. Although the two started on rough footing, chris grows fond of him (obvs playing the big bro role to claire once they start formally being in a relationship)

Speaking of the relationship, claire finds steve clamming up about a lot of it once they're back. He thinks there'll never be a "normal way to say it" bc well.. everything. They work it out eventually, get that dinner, watch that movie

Steve grows out of a lot of his edgelord tendencies, esp since the virus makes him realize how big the whole bioterrorism business is. Probs a few scary scrapes w being an active controller of a t virus strain. Still says a lot of loud, half -thought out things tho

He probably lands in a role as like a civilian consultant for the bsaa. Works with rebecca on research. Claire feels tense sometimes that both chris and steve are so intricately tied to the bsaa and their line of duty, but understands why they do it.

Lots of impromptu dates and catch-ups as they all travel a lot (esp claire for terrasave). It's tough sometimes, but they're happy and they always make it work

Anyway this concludes my denial of code veronica's ending. Thank you to anyone who makes it this far lol

[kyndaris]

2020: Unprecedented Times

Most people, at the start of the year, had high hopes for 2020. For many, it was the start of a new decade (though, ask anyone on the street and the start of a decade is open to debate). Here in Australia, the start of 2020 merely carried on the disasters of 2019. Beset by bushfires all along the Eastern coast, we watched as our tourism numbers slump as the denizens of Sydney wore masks as a means to fight the harmful effects of smoke inhalation. Many small businesses, particularly in small towns, felt the brunt of the natural disaster. Homes were destroyed by the thousands. Worse was the fact that livelihoods that were dependent on visitors from all around the world (in particular, China) were also badly affected.

Why would anyone come to Australia, after all, when there was smoke in the air and the air quality was teetering on dangerously toxic?

Many hoped that once the fires had petered out, however, life would return to normal. Little did they know that by March, the world would be caught in the grips of COVID-19. After all, though there were the occasional news headlines of a new disease plaguing China in early January (which resulted in me warning my grandmother that maybe she not go over to celebrate the Year of the Rat), most people were focused on Donald Trump’s impeachment.

Then, of course, there was the assassination of an infamous Iranian general:  Qasem Soleimani. Once again, the world’s attention was arrested by the acts of the United States of America. Most were worried that the tension between Iran and the United States of America would boil over. At the time, it almost felt like a repeat of Trump’s antagonism towards North Korea.

In the United Kingdom, Brexit was well underway. After his re-election in December 2019, Boris Johnson continued his negotiations for a way that Britain could leave the European Union.

On a more personal scale, Australia was wracked by sport club funding scandals and climate change protests.

As for me, I was more concerned about the video game delays. Now that I write this, in December of 2020, I look back and think that perhaps it was appropriate for Cyberpunk 2077 to have been delayed until next year in order to fix the bugs that have the plagued the title ever since launch. Still, I was also vastly disappointed that Vampires the Masquerade II would not be releasing anytime soon. And saddened to hear that The Last of Us Part II had been pushed back.

After COVID-19 swept across the globe and taken hold in most countries and continents (which now extends to Antarctica thanks to a few Chileans testing positive), I watched as stupidity rose to the fore. Lockdown protests, the politicisation of the wearing of masks and the attacks on East Asians. Despite the severity of the virus and how infectious it was, I was disheartened to see so many people flout social distancing rules and break lockdown requirements. Most notably among the rich and famous such as politicians and NRL (National Rugby League) players.

Of course, being in Australia, our bid to ‘flatten the curve’ proved incredibly effective. Articles I’ve read indicate that this was mostly due to Australian’s observance of laws and regulations, as well as our trust in science. In fact, I’ve heard the refrain, ‘at least we’re not America’ spoken quite a few times this year. And honestly, after looking at the statistics, with the Land of the Free having upwards of 18.5 million cases with 326,000 (and counting) deaths, I couldn't agree more to the sentiment.

The whole ‘do as we say, not as we do’ approach by its President further served to fracture society and gave rise to conspiracy theories that served no purpose but showcase the height of people’s ignorance and distrust. It didn’t help that most Western countries also placed more importance on the ‘economy’ than people’s lives. Many global leaders were of the opinion that the ‘cure should not be worse than the disease’ and that a few deaths to keep the budget afloat was a necessary evil. 

Well, to that, I say, ‘Bah! Humbug!’ Without acting decisively and quickly, many nations have ruined their economy AND seen their people die in droves. When people are falling sick and suffering from long-term effects, they’re hardly likely to spend money. Nor will they be able to contribute to society and be able to continue working. Instead, you’ll be saddled with additional welfare taxes. By going hard and fast, closing down the economy for two months, maybe three, you can bounce back harder and stronger without fear of contagion.

Now, many countries are struggling with high numbers of new infected each day AND an economy that’s in tatters. Good job. 

It also doesn’t hurt to give back to the community and help struggling businesses. Schemes such as Jobkeeper and Jobseeker (at least in Australia) were able to alleviate some of the stress for many workers. And honestly, perhaps if the world had implemented a universal basic income, this would also enable people ensure their basic needs are met without sinking into poverty.

The fact that so many only see the short-term rather than long-term is astounding. And as for Sweden’s model? The less said about it, the better. ‘Herd immunity’ without a working vaccine? Madness. Utter madness. Particularly when the virus is airborne.

After enjoying a decent summer, numbers rose again in Europe and much of it was back under lockdown. A new strain, that has proven much more infectious, was discovered in the South of England! Trump tested positive for COVID-19, but to the dismay of many, he recovered quite quickly.

But 2020 did not end there. Once again, the struggles between ethnic minorities were brought again to the limelight. The death of George Floyd saw the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement and served to highlight the disproportionate number of those living in poverty and in prison. As a person of colour myself (being of East Asian descent), I tried to explain some of this to my colleagues. But some of them saw Black Lives Matter as a predominantly American issue - and disregarded the fact that many Indigenous Australians were also in prison, caught in a vicious cycle of crime and violence.

It wasn’t long, however, that Australia experienced its own second wave in Melbourne, due to breaches in hotel quarantine. And honestly, it came as a surprise when it also happened in Adelaide and we learned that they weren’t testing hospital workers or those in high-risk workplaces on a REGULAR basis. You would have thought that all workers that transported aircrew or worked as security for those quarantining in hotels would be temperature-checked and given a swab every few days (or at least once a week). But no.

This is why we can’t have good things. 

Christmas in Sydney has also been somewhat neutered by the fact that there has been another sizeable outbreak in the Northern Beaches local council. And, of course, many people in Greater Sydney have been barred from other states. Gotta love those hard state borders where we treat each other as separate countries. Still - if it protects the people, the Premiers will stop at nothing. Even if it means families can’t be together. But better that than seeing Australia become the United States of America. 

Jumping from COVID-19, 2020 also saw an explosion in Beirut due to the storing of large amounts of ammonium nitrate at the port. Approximately 178 people were killed and more than 6,500 were injured. Locust swarms in Africa  descended upon crops, threatening food supply and livelihoods for millions of people. The West Coast of the United States of America suffered from catastrophic wildfires. Meanwhile, in south-east Asia, countries were hit by flooding and typhoons. As a side note, Armenia and Azerbaijan  restarted their ongoing feud. 

And to cap it all off, 2020 decided to further traumatise the future generation, a suicide video was uploaded to Tiktok. 

And oh, the US election. Where our favourite President tried to delay and impede mail-in-votes. In the days following the 3 November 2020 election, the world eagerly watched as the votes were counted and each state was certified. Trump, as is always his way, attempted to claim victory in the early hours of the morning of 4 November 2020, before deriding voter fraud with no evidence to substantiate his claims.

The weeks that followed saw a number of lawsuits that were lodged. Most, of which, were simply dismissed out of hand. And while his supporters have continued to claim that fraud was evident in the 2020 election, there has been no substantial pieces of evidence provided. Affidavits and hearsay, fortunately, do not a case make.

In Australia, our once promising relationship with China took a turn for the worse. While instances of racism, after the initial COVID-19, did not help, it also seemed that the finger pointing among government officials and demands for inquiries into wet markets only served to fuel the fire between the two nations. After initiating a trade war with the United States of America, China then saw fit to put significant tariffs on Australian beef, barley, wine and coal (to name but a few). 

The spat between Australia and China also took on a more insidious tone when several Australian journalists were forced to flee.

And with the unveiling of alleged war crimes committed by Australian troops in Afghanistan, the relationship between the two nations have come to an all-time low. China’s tweet of a doctored image that had an Australian soldier about to cut the throat of an Afghan child saw our Prime Minister taking to social media to demand an apology. 

All in all, 2020 has felt like both an incredibly short and long year in equal measure. For an introvert, such as myself, it’s been mostly the same. In fact, I can’t believe that it’s already at an end. Though my gaming has continued, as has my writing, I felt like I hardly interacted with any of my friends or did anything conducive to my social skills. While I’ve been made permanent at my place of work, it’s also felt a little stagnant. For a good long while, particularly in March, it felt like we were on the cusp of something huge and terrible. As the numbers climbed, I desperately wanted a hard lockdown to be called when leaders vacillated. 

2021 does not promise to be much better. While vaccines have rolled out in several countries, it’ll be a long time coming before the world manages to attain a sense of normalcy. For this blogger, I look forward to just kicking back and finally getting my hands on a PlayStation 5.

As for anyone that has worked on the front lines during this pandemic, I just want to say a big hearty ‘thank you.’ All of  you have sacrificed so much and seen so many terrible things. I wish that we all listened to your warnings instead of inundating emergency rooms thinking COVID-19 was a hoax.

Remember: keep at least 1.5 metres away from another person, wash/ sanitise your hands regularly and wear a mask if you can’t socially distance or are in an enclosed space. 

[urfriendlyneighbornightfury]

You Make Me Smile- Jesse x Reader pt. 2/?

Sorry this took a long time to get out. School started up again and we were immediately given a project, and I had to get a new laptop, since the screen of my old laptop is broken. I had to take some time to adjust to it, since I my previous laptop was American, and my new one is German. Thanks for your patience, and enjoy the second part of You Make Me Smile Notes: Reader comes in at the end, and we learn about their origins. Yes, this is a crossover. Deal with it. My head-cannon is that Marvel and Star Wars are in the same universe, just the Star Wars galaxy is isolated from the rest of the universe. Also, your boss and co-workers get along with you, cause they don’t want to end up on the wrong side of the Avengers.

Tagging: @a-dorin​, @highlycommendable​, @littlevodika​, @thegoodbatch​, @arwenkenobi48​, @emmacata​, @dottiechan​ Let me know if you want to be tagged in future parts, or future content

 Jesse went over to the couch and sat down, Hardcase plopping down next to him. A few minutes later, Hanna came back into the living room. She placed two water bottles in front of the two clones on the coffee table and sat down cross legged in the middle of the love-seat. Momo, who was still following her human, jumped onto the love-seat and made herself comfortable on Hanna’s lap.

There was a moment of silence as Jesse watched Hanna try to figure out how to start the explanation on the secret of her and (Name), her fingers scratching the tuxedo cat’s head as she looked at the wall, her eyes distant.

Sighing, Hanna turned to Hardcase.“I really don’t know how to begin… but, as you know, (Name) and I aren’t from Coruscant. In fact, we aren’t even from this galaxy.”

Hardcase opened his mouth, confused, but Jesse hushed him. “Let her explain,” he told his brother. Hardcase nodded, closing his mouth and leaning forward so that his elbows rested on his knees, intent to hang on to every word.

“Our galaxy, known as the Milky Way, is practically on the other side of this part of the universe. Our planet is universally known as Terra, but the humans living there call it Earth.” Hardcase snorted in amusement. This caused a small smile to appear on Hanna’s face.

“Yeah, I never understood either why all the other planets in our Solar System are named after Roman gods and goddesses, and ours is named after dirt.” There was amusement in her tone, before it faded as she continued. “From what I last know, there are about over 7 billion humans living on Earth. And that is only a small fraction of what else lives on that planet.”

Hardcase whistled low in surprise.

“There are seven continents of land on Earth: North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia, and Antarctica. Only six of these are habitable, with Antarctica being a complete tundra. Yeah, you can find nearly every known environment on Earth. Tundras, deserts, rainforests, savannahs, mountains, etc. The known oceans of Earth are the Pacfic, the Atlantic, the Arctic, the Indian, and the Southern.”

“Wow, sounds like a busy planet,” Hardcase mused. Hanna hummed in agreement.

“Each of these continents have their own countries. I come from a part of North America known as The United States. I moved around a lot as a kid, but the last place I lived with my family was in Pennsylvania, before I moved to New York City for work reasons,” Hanna said, and explained where (Name) was from. “They also moved to New York City for work reasons. We met at work, and became friends as well as colleagues.”

“And now this is where things get… complicated. When I was fifteen years old, I was visited by the Egyptian goddess, Bastet, in dreams. She is the goddess of cats and protection. She granted me the abilities of a Snow Leopard. Meaning I am faster, stronger, have more stamina, etc. than a normal human. I can also walk on top of snow.”

“Somehow, when I got these abilities, it triggered something humans of Earth have called the X-gene, which grants a mutational power, ability, etc. It ranges from one mutation to more. So, not only do I have this blessing from Bastet, I also have these mutations: retractable knuckle and foot claws and rapid healing factor.”“My rapid healing factor not only heals wounds, sicknesses, and regrows limbs, it essentially makes me immortal.”

“Oh. Oh.”Jesse nodded as realisation dawned on Hardcase.

“Yeah,” Hanna sighed sadly. “Human lives are fleeting when you’re immortal. And you poor boys have it worse. In comparison to an immortal life, clones are barely a second. I would have not even aged a day when my grandchildren have grandchildren.”

It made Jesse’s heart clench whenever he was reminded of Hanna’s healing mutation. He really wanted his brother, Fives, to have someone who loved him as much as he loved them. To have a loving relationship, despite regulations. But, unfortunately, Fives fell for an immortal who could probably live to the end of times, while he lived to fight and die in a war.

“Even if you did live forever, wouldn’t you at least give Fives a chance? Make him happy? I mean, we are born to fight and die in this war, but couldn’t you make him have love in his short life?” Jesse blinked at Hardcase’s seriousness, but gave a small smile, glad that his vod was so dedicated to helping Fives be happy. The only problem was that Jesse tried the same argument, only to not be able to persuade her due to certain points that he understood.

Hanna sighed sadly, and Jesse moved to sit next to her, rubbing her back. Hardcase looked confused and worried.

“I would,” Hanna began, her voice starting to tremble, “but… I have depression. It’s not major- I don’t hurt myself intentionally or have suicidal thoughts. But, it isn’t easy for me. I had a serious illness that I thankfully got rid of. Then, when I first joined the Avengers, I was alerted that my family no longer remembered me.”

Hardcase cringed.

“Well, it’s not that they forgot me, it’s just that I was replaced by an exact carbon copy of myself. Everything, down to the new bone-marrow I got, was exactly the same. Only difference was that I had powers and abilities. And for some reason, I had all her memories and experience.”

“But your cat remembers you?” Hardcase mentioned, confused. Hanna gave a sniffling laugh.

“Yeah, that’s because she ended up tagging along without anyone noticing until it was too late. She also has a carbon copy living with my family.”

“Anyway,” Hanna went on, trying to get a hold of herself. “(Name) was born with their powers. They have mostly mind-related powers- able to read minds, sense fluctuations in emotions, have telepathy, astral projection, and dreamwalking. They are also capable of certain aspects of magic. They had to teach themselves to control their powers and was later found by the same person who found me, to join a group called the Avengers.”

“Before I joined the Avengers, I was taken in by SHIELD. My mentors were two of SHIELD’s best agents. Then, the three of us became part of the Avengers. That’s where I met (Name).”

Hanna broke off her speech with a large yawn. “Sorry,” she said, “was up really early and couldn’t go back to sleep.”

“It’s fine, Hanna,” Jesse said. “You go to bed. Hardcase and I will wait for (Name) to return.”

“But I still got to show you the plans for (Name)’s birthday,” Hanna whined sleepily.

“Go to bed,” Jesse said sternly, “(Name) and I know how you end up when you don’t get sleep. Hardcase should not witness that.”

Hanna pouted. “Fine.” She scooped up Momo, and disappeared into the hallway to her room.

The moment they heard the door slide shut, Hardcase turned to Jesse.

“So, how did you meet the two? And learn their secrets?” the chaotic clone asked.“It was really bizarre,” Jesse said, recounting the meeting. 

*Flashback* 

Jesse and Kix were out in the lower levels of Coruscant. They were just walking and talking to one another, when there was a loud scream and an angry snarl/roar, followed by shouts and blaster shots. Without hesitation, both clones broke into a sprint towards where they could hear a commotion going on in an alleyway. They came to the entrance, and they couldn’t help but stop in shock at what they were seeing.

A young human (who Jesse later learned was (Name)) was herding a bunch of children of various species and ages, away from the fire fight, down a branch in the alley where it would be safer from the fight. It was that fire fight that had both clones shocked and frozen in place.

Another human, small and compact in size, was fighting a bunch of criminals. There were two metal claws on each fist, and the human was covered in blood. The criminals were firing at her, and both clones could have sworn lots of the shots were fatal hits, but the human didn’t even stop the momentum of the fight. Before Jesse and Kix could gather themselves and help, the fight was over, the last remaining criminal falling dead to the floor. The human- which they could now see was a youthful looking female, despite the blood splatterings and now tattered clothing- shook her head to get her blonde hair out of her face, chest heaving slightly in exertion. She looked up at the two stunned clones, lowering her fist. Jesse and Kix watched in shock as the metal blades slid into the girl’s hands.

“All clear,” the human female said, and the other adult human peered out of the alleyway. Seeing that it was, indeed, all clear, the human ushered the children towards the clones. Kix was the first to snap out of it, rushing to inspect the human that fought.

“I’m fine,” she waved off, “go check the kids.”

“You should be dead! A lot of those were fatal shots!” Kix fussed, looking all over the now exasperated small female.

Jesse, no longer stunned by the fight, shook himself and began checking the children, while the other human did the same. He could hear the argument between Kix and his new patient.

“How are you not dead?!”“

I’m just very hard to kill, ‘s all.”

“You’ve been shot, and there are no wounds! How are there no wounds?!”

“Oh, uh… that’s confidential.”

Jesse looked up at the same time as the other human. He knew that Kix was about to flip his lid. And that he did.

“Let’s get the kids out of here,” the other human said, and Jesse turned towards them. And was immediately frozen again. The human before him, now that he was seeing them properly, was stunning, even with their slightly ragged appearance from helping the kids and the fight. They had a bleeding wound on their arm, but it didn’t seem to bother them.

“Close your mouth, handsome. Don’t want you catching flies,” the human said cheekily, tapping their finger against his chin. He snapped his mouth shut, feeling heat rush to his cheeks.

“I- uh-” Jesse tried to say, but the human shook their head.

“We’ll talk later. For now, let’s get these kiddos to safety.” 

*End Flashback* 

“Okay, (Name), we’ve got a handle on things,” you heard your boss say. “Go home early. Have a happy birthday and a fun week off.”

“Thanks, boss!” you shouted, gathering your things and clocking out. Your co-workers also wished you a happy birthday, patting you on the back, shaking your hand, and/or hugging you, depending on their co-worker relationship with you.

Shouting a good night into the building, and receiving several “good nights” in return, you happily made your way back to the apartment.

Hanna had sent you a message earlier, saying that Jesse would be waiting for you at the apartment. She also told you that Hardcase was also there, and would know the big secret by now.

Sighing to yourself, you wondered what your boyfriend and the Avengers had planned for your big day tomorrow. Well, not just a day. The Avengers wanted to celebrate a whole week with you on a special planet that the Guardians of the Galaxy recommended. But beyond that, you knew nothing of what was planned.

It didn’t take too long to return to the apartment complex, and you eagerly went into your apartment. It had been quite a long while since you last saw Jesse, and you always looked forward to seeing him when he was back and on leave.The door to your apartment slid open, and Jesse looked towards you. A big smile split his face, and he jumped up off the couch and bounded over to you like an excited puppy.

“Cyare!”You let out a happy laugh as your lover pulled you in a hug and then pulling away to kiss you.

“Get a room!” came a shout, followed by a pillow hitting Jesse’s head.

Jesse broke off, glaring at his laughing brother. You laughed lightly.

“Hello, Hardcase,” you greeted.

“Hey (Name)!” 

“Did Hanna turn in early?”

“Yeah. We both know how she is when she’s tired,” Jesse said. “And we should turn in as well. It’s going to be a big day tomorrow!”

You laughed, and nodded. “Alright. Let me go get the guest room ready for Hardcase. There is now way he’s going back to the barracks alone at this time.”

[lindoig5]

Monday 9 March  Day 32    Home Sweet Home

We were up before the alarm woke us and basically just dressed and walked out the door with our baggage (that we had packed the night before).  We trekked across the carpark again to the Air New Zealand counter (fully automated check-in and baggage routine) and were through Immigration and Customs in no time. The more we travel, the more I realise that other countries do airports at least a dozen times better than the offensive nightmare that is Australia!

I finished reading another book on the plane and then wrote a bit for this blog and then we were tracking across Phillip Island on the way to Tullamarine. Immigration was confusing but perhaps not quite as painful as normal then it was baggage collection – with constant PA broadcasts advising us that the baggage carousel for our flight was experiencing technical issues and would be fixed in 5 minutes, then another 5 minutes, then another 5 minutes….. Eventually our second case arrived on a different carousel and we headed for Customs.  The queue was hundreds of metres long but moved surprisingly well. We had declared a few things, mainly about being in wilderness areas, but they just asked Heather if her shoes were clean and waved us both through.

Back in Australia again to the welcoming sight of our smiling limo driver Nick who had been cooling his heels for about an hour.  Our wonderful travel agent Bev from Travelmanagers arranged for Nick to take us to and from the airport as a bonus – thank you Bev, it was wonderful and Nick is great.  He just takes control of our bags and all and we ride home in luxury.

We were home in our own little pad by about 10am and had the kettle on for a cuppa before doing anything.  We had completed a journey of 9280 kilometres by ship and perhaps 100 or so by zodiac.  We flew 5278 kilometres and travelled close to 400 on land - more than 15,000km all up!  After that, I figured we deserved a cuppa!

We were in no hurry to unpack but did it slowly over a few days and we dealt with the surprisingly small accumulation of mail and of course email pretty easily.  Then the coronavirus turned the world upside down and chaos descended – in my view, largely unnecessarily.

A few impressions    It is very hard to condense almost 5 weeks’ experience into a few sentences, but there were a few aspects or blocks of time that warrant some comment.

One BIG highlight was walking on a new continent – and of course, setting foot on remote Antarctica in places where so few people have been, is a bigger deal than walking almost anywhere else on earth.  I have often wondered if it is still possible to place one’s foot on any part of the earth that has not been trodden on before. I doubt if this happened in Antarctica, but I had a sense that tramping around on Enderby Island may just feasibly have made this possible – mainly because it had no history of an indigenous population and the farming that did occur there was relatively less invasive - so a few square inches may never have previously experienced the tread of a human foot.  Who knows, but I have often thought about it and this gave me a buzz.

The scenery was unique, wild and rugged and so much in monochrome – black rocks and white snow.  Obviously, there was the sky and the sea and the islands, but there was stark beauty, high drama and awe-inspiring majesty every day unmatched anywhere else.

Having said that, the magnitude of the huge frozen continent and our uninterrupted day-after-day traversing of the furious but featureless sea was also awe-inspiring (despite a touch of sea-sickness).  Who could imagine a hidden continent more than twice the size of Australia, a sea that goes on forever (and ever), ice-blocks the size of France, giant whales displaying just for us, the number and variety of birds and mammals, but no visible fish, reptiles, even insects (except on one island), vast tracts of land with not a leaf, a blade of grass or other plant?  So much seemed alien even when we were immersed in it.

I loved the birds (of course) with the albatrosses and snow petrels perhaps being my favourites.  Ten or eleven species of Penguin – I still need to do a little more work on my list, but I think I saw at least 96 different species altogether, close to 40 of which I had not seen before.  [PS:  Have just finished my analysis and note that the exact figures should have been.....  Total species seen = 123 – 28 in Australia (Macquarie Island or nearby waters) and 95 in NZ.  (I saw some in both areas).  These include 26 new additions (species not previously seen) to my Australian list and 50 for my NZ list.

The expedition focussed heavily on the historical side of the region, specifically the huts built by the explorers in the Heroic Age of Exploration that concluded a shade more than a century ago. I expected a much stronger focus on the wildlife (fauna AND flora), but in retrospect, the range of possible sightings was very restricted for about half the voyage and there was very little opportunity to see a lot of flora,   so perhaps I am being unfair.  I am delighted that so much of the continent and the Sub-Antarctic Islands are free (or have been freed - thank you New Zealand) of feral species and are being vigorously protected against future invasion as far as possible.

The huts are exceptional relics of (relatively) recent history in a tangible form so I am glad they are being preserved in their pristine condition.  They are much bigger and more substantial than my previous reading suggested, but having seen them, I appreciate that they probably needed to be something close to this given the elements, the privation and the potential to be marooned there over winter or longer. And retaining them exactly as they were when the early explorers closed the door behind themselves gives them an immediacy and authenticity that is unique in other historical monuments – as if one of the original inhabitants could meet you there and discuss the problems he had endured and the challenges he had overcome that very day.

The long days at sea and the fury of the elements should have been expected but were a bit wilder than I anticipated, but taken as a whole, the experience was unique and given the opportunity, I would do it all again, albeit perhaps with some minor modifications in terms of preparation and expectations.

Epilogue    Unless something compelling arises, this is the end of this blog.  But I expect there will be another - lindoig6.tumblr.com in all probability, starting in the middle of May and continuing our caravan exploration of Australia’s outback, ticking off a few more isolated stock routes and iconic dirt roads.  I will send you an invitation to follow those adventures too in due course.

[junker-town]

How sports is Seven Worlds, One Planet: Episode 5?

Alfred Trunk/McPhoto/ullstein bild via Getty Images

David Attenborough’s new show is epic ... and sports.

We continue our extremely important mission to conduct a scene-by-scene review of the BBC’s new nature documentary, Seven Worlds, One Planet, in order to see how sports it is. We determined that Episode 1, which focused on Antarctica, was reasonably sports. Asia was very sports, as was South America. Australia was more drinking than sports, but that’s OK. Now it’s time for ...

Episode 5 Europe

Let’s start with a prologue: there are really only six continents, and Europe’s not one of them. I’m sorry, it just isn’t. Every other continent is separated from its neighbour by something sensible — an isthmus, perhaps, or a whole-ass ocean in the case of Australia. Europe is just a chunk of Eurasia that thinks it’s cool. You’re never going to convince me that the Ural Mountains are a sensible continental boundary. Europe’s a big, smug, densely-populated peninsula and that is all.

There is still some cool stuff going on there though.

Scene 1: Attempted Urfanticide

Europe used to be dominated by an enormous forest. Almost all of it is gone. Such progress! But some remains and in Finland there’s enough to support a small (1,500) population of brown bears. Some members of that population are adorable:

This scene isn’t all frolicking baby bears, however. Where there are bear cubs, there are also bear mothers, and where there are bear mothers there are hopeful bear-fathers in pursuit. Bear, as you may know, share an unfortunate habit with many large carnivores: if they can, big males will kill infants which they haven’t fathered.

So when a big male shows up, the cubs play it safe and scamper up a tree, while the mother responds to his catcalls by telling him to leave her family the hell alone. (I don’t speak bear, but the context makes things clear.)

The cubs then proceed to play it somewhat less than safe, coming down while the male is still in sight. They’re in mortal danger, so the mother goes full on Bear Mama and runs the male off into the woods. Good parenting. Bad childrening.

Aesthetics 9/10

I just want to squeeze their little bear cub cheeks, although, since their mother could tear me in half without trying, I would probably have to be quite drunk to actually attempt this.

Difficulty 8/10

Bear cubs are surprisingly good climbers. Conifers have straight, overly-disciplined trunks, and are therefore much harder to climb than most large deciduous trees, which are more sprawling and inviting. And yet the little dudes zip straight up them.

Competitiveness 10/10

Male brown bears average almost 500 pounds. Female brown bears are closer to 350. That’s one brave charge.

Overall 27/30

Most parenting is not a sport. Bear parenting is a sport.

Scene 2: The Hair-Cows

When my three-year-old saw this scene, he decided he was watching “hair-cows”, which is at least as good a name as “musk ox”. (He also claimed he wanted to eat “hair-cow nuggets” for dinner, a worryingly predatory request.) Hair-cows are, true to their name, very hairy cows that live up in the tundra.

The tundra is not a very nice place to live. It’s cold, there’s basically no vegetation to break up the wind, and although it’s majestic in a desolate sort of way, I don’t think I’d be able to appreciate it on account of not being able to feel my legs. The hair-cows’ shaggy coats help them stay warm in this barren environment. Their huge horns help with ... other stuff.

Hair-cow herds are run by a bull, who controls mating rights for the whole group. A bull who doesn’t run a herd essentially has to go off and live on his own, which makes them pretty enthusiastic to upgrade their living situation. And that’s where the horns come in.

When a lone male meets a herd whose leader he thinks he can handle, this happens:

Still not as bad as the hangover from last week #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/IIwSbmrU4I

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 24, 2019

Let’s review the numbers. Quoting from Wikipedia, hair-cows:

can reach speeds of up to 60 km/h (37 mph).

on average, weigh 285 kilograms (630 pounds) and range from 180 to 410 kilograms (400 to 900 pounds).

Big bulls at the top of their game will therefore weigh close to 900 pounds and charge at each other significantly faster than, say, Usian Bolt. They also have four-inch think skulls to protect each other from a battering. Well-matched males can end up charging and gouging for some time, and if the fight goes on long enough we start to get head-to-flank goring action. Which just seems unpleasant, really.

Anyway, this is a long and drawn-out hair-cow fight. Good stuff.

Aesthetics 6/10

Hair-cows aren’t the world’s most attractive creatures, but at least they have style. Demerits on account of male hair-cows smelling like they’ve coated themselves in urine, because that is in fact what they have done: “The odor of dominant rutting males is ‘strong’ and ‘rank’. It derives from the preputial gland and is distributed over the fur of the abdomen via urine.”

Cool.

Difficulty 10/10

Taking a single head-on hit from a hair-cow would send your corporeal self into next week and probably eliminate your soul altogether.

Competitiveness 10/10

This is a great fight. It’s long, hard-fought, and there are enough twists and turns to keep things interesting. Well done, hair-cows.

Overall 26/30

Definitely a sport.

Scene 3: Wolves

You don’t really expect to find wolves roaming around Europe. Well, that’s not exactly true: I played last year’s Assassin’s Creed, so I expect to find a pack of wolves roughly every four yards, including in major cities. But in real life, finding a pack of wolves on the edge of an Italian village would come as something of a surprise.

Not that you’re likely to find these wolves. They’re so elusive that the Seven Worlds team had to film them all through thermal cameras, which gives this whole scene an ethereal look:

Sirius Black? Is that you? #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/DZvtQTW8Xg

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 24, 2019

It’s mid-winter and the wolves are hungry, so they’re attempting to ambush a herd of red deer in the darkness. Their first attempt fails thanks to a combination of being too noisy and having their hunt disrupted by a passing car. Humans!

Their second is better planned out, and they manage to isolate one of the deer and herd it down the mountain. As it tries to escape, it slips on an icy road (humans!) and the hungry pack manage to bring it down.

Unfortunately, the hunt has been watched by the village sheepdogs, who flood out to chase off the wolves and claim the kill as their own. Poor wolves.

Aesthetics 7/10

The night vision gives this an air of fantasy, which is nice because one gets the feeling that these wolves would be somewhat bedraggled had they been caught on normal cameras.

Difficulty 8/10

Hunting down deer in what amounts to pitch blackness sounds very difficult indeed.

Competitiveness 8/10

The deer give the wolves a seriously hard time, and the emergence of a third party right at the end is a clever twist.

Overall 25/30

Extended hunts are almost always sports.

Scene 4: Monkeys

The presence of Barbary macaques in Gibraltar is a reminder of the planet’s habit of undergoing massive changes over relatively short timescales. There are no monkeys in Europe except these ones, and they’re here because around five million years ago, the Strait of Gibraltar was closed, and north African animals had free rein to wander over to the Iberian peninsula.

Then came the Zanclean Deluge. With the Straits closed, the Mediterranean had no access to the Atlantic and slowly evaporated. And when they re-opened, the Mediterranean re-filled in about two years, powered by what was probably the biggest waterfall the planet has ever seen. This has very little to do with the monkeys. I just think it’s interesting.

Gibraltar, right on the southern tip of the continent, is home to Europe’s only monkeys. #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/GMnBIod7Eq

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 24, 2019

Anyway, Barbary macaques spread across southern Europe, but eventually (I assume because of the Ice Age, etc.) they collapsed back into a small population at the Rock of Gibraltar. Around 300 monkeys still live there. Some of those monkeys, incidentally, have a thing for kidnapping.

A low-status female monkey (these macaques live in tiered social groups) has just had a baby, and a higher-ranking female is jealous of her. So she steals the baby and runs away. The mother is so low-ranking that she can’t approach the other monkey for fear of the rest of the troop ganging up on her.

High monkey drama ensues as the kidnapper — who clearly has no idea what she’s doing with a baby — makes her escape, climbing a cable car tower with a tiny little monkey dangling off her. Eventually the mother catches up with the baby-thief, but the gang is more than 100 feet above the ground, and any wrong move might lead to a fall and certain death ...

... so naturally, the situation is resolved by grooming. Mama monkey finds a random monkey to groom within sight of the kidnapper, who gets so jealous that she gives the baby back in exchange for a change to get in on the action.

Most of this was some action movie stuff, but the end might be difficult to translate. I’m trying to imagine Liam Neeson rasping into his phone about his “particular set of skills,” only for them to turn out to be removing parasites from the other person’s hair with his teeth.

It’d be weird, but you’d watch it.

Aesthetics 7/10

Monkeys just aren’t that cute, even baby monkeys. The tension, fortunately, is accentuated by the impressive cinematography.

Difficulty 10/10

As a parent I have found it is more or less impossible to do anything with a baby, so climbing a cable car tower while fleeing the scene of a crime, baby in tow, is impressive work. Not morally impressive, mind.

Competitiveness 10/10

The ending doesn’t take anything away from the stakes.

Overall 27/30

Kidnapping monkey babies is sports. But please do not attempt this particular sport, at home or anywhere else.

Scene 5: Grave-Robbing Hamster Battle

This is it. This is what we’ve all been waiting for. The culmination of Sir David Attenborough’s long and storied career lies here, in a Viennese graveyard, where hamsters lie in wait to feast upon the offerings left for the dead ...

... it turns out that European hamsters love flowers. LOVE them. And, as graveyards have plenty of fresh flowers for them to munch through, that makes them prime hamster territory. Prime territory, of course, does not go uncontested. And while hamsters are cute and adorable, they’re also ferocious little balls of anger when roused. Observe:

Thug life. #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/ePaxjj8Ybd

— BBC One (@BBCOne) November 24, 2019

Thwarted by the martial skills of the home hamster, the challenger has to sneak in while they’re distracted. And here, they’re more successful, creeping merrily over a tombstone and then munching happily on a bouquet before being enticed by a nice, uh, candle.

Attenborough claims that candles are full of oil and high in calories and therefore excellent hamster food, so I’ll take his word for it. The hamster certainly agrees, stuffing their face with as much wax as they can fit into their squishy little cheeks, which turns out to be a lot of wax: European hamsters can apparently fit about a quarter of their body-weight in their cheek pouches.

And now I should mention that this candle is in a jar with a slightly-tapered mouth and ... oh no.

Hello darkness, my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again #SevenWorldsOnePlanet #wevealldoneit #chonkyboi pic.twitter.com/TDhY1YEpBd

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 24, 2019

My only regret is that Edgar Allen Poe never found out about this.

Aesthetics 30/10

COME TO ME, MY GRAVE-ROBBING HAMSTER FRIENDS. TOGETHER WE SHALL RULE THIS DISMAL PLANET.

Difficulty 10/10

WE SHALL RULE IT IN THE NAME OF PEACE.

Competitiveness 10/10

AND JUSTICE. AND COMPASSION.

Overall 50/30

AND DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS CANDLES. IT WILL BE A BETTER PLACE. ONE FULL OF HAMSTERS, WHICH ARE SPORTS.

Scene 6: Mayflies

In June, the largest of all mayflies emerge from a Hungarian river. They’ve spent three years as larvae preparing for just a few hours of adult life. The males come first, flapping to the banks to get one last molt in, and then fly back to the river to catch the females, emerging later.

There’s a terrifying amount of competition to fertilise female mayflies, accentuated by the fact the male mayflies are literally dying as they scramble to find a mate. The females have timed their emergence to within a few minutes of the males’ death, and as their corpses float past they then fly up-river, 10 million-strong. Then they die too, releasing their eggs upon impact.

Houston, that’s a lot of bugs. #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/zp5GddXM2B

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 24, 2019

Within hours of the mayflies emergence into the European summer, they’re all dead. This is the most metaphorical metaphor that has ever metaphored.

Aesthetics 3/10

After three years of feeding and growing on the riverbed, the male mayflies appear first.#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/V3bOFAv3R1

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 24, 2019

No.

Difficulty 8/10

It must be hard to try to be at the top of your game when you’re literally on the verge of death, especially in the middle of a mayfly melee.

Competitiveness 10/10

An entire generation of male mayflies fighting it out at the same time? Yeah, this is getting high marks.

Overall 21/30

Probably a sport.

Scene 7: Asshole Pelicans

Great white pelicans breed on the delta of the Danube river, one of the richest in the world. There are two things you should know about great white pelicans. The first is that they are huge. And I mean really, really huge: their wingspan can get to well over 10 feet and they can weigh as much as 30 pounds. The second thing you should know is that they’re assholes.

Flying above the delta, the pelican flock scans for food, using other birds for help

Cormorants: Come over. Pelicans: Can’t. Busy. Cormorants: We are eating delicious fish. Pelicans:

The real question here...are you a pelican? Or a pelican’t?#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/YRaphn3WUY

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 24, 2019

Do the pelicans go fishing once the cormorants have done the hard work of finding their prey? No. That’s not assholish enough for a great white pelican, and is also far too much work. Instead, they wait for the cormorants to do the fishing and then do whatever the hell this is:

K...O#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/48F9A4UDOM

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 24, 2019

The bullied cormorants quite naturally give up their spoils upon being engulfed by these horrible huge pirates. Imagine what it must be like having your head wrapped up in a penguin pouch. It’d like someone jamming your face into a yellow latex glove, and I’d rather get actually mugged.

Aesthetics 10/10

This scene is beautifully shot. All non-raptorial birds look better in large numbers, and the coordinated flight of the pelicans is gorgeous.

Difficulty 7/10

All these pelicans have to do is find and harass the people doing the real work, then enjoy their rewards. They’d do very well in the modern office. The cormorants, on the other hand, have to go fishing while being mugged by assholes, which sounds pretty difficult to me.

Competitiveness 5/10

Pick on someone your own size, pelicans.

Overall 22/30

Fishing is a sport. Piracy ... is also a sport?

Scene 8: The Offspring of the Cave Dragon

The face of Europe has been scoured by humans, turned from forests to homes and farms and roads and etc.. Under the skin, however, is a different story. Mankind’s reach doesn’t extend very effectually into caves, and nor does the sun’s, which leads to some very weird critters.

Olms, so far as I can tell, are the European equivalent of the American axolotl: blind albino cave salamanders which stay in larval form their whole lives. Unlike the axolotl, which is sort of cute, olms are very not:

Olms have feathery gills which enable them to breathe underwater, as well as on land.#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/W75pHQ8gpS

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 24, 2019

Here be dragons Well...baby ones at least.#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/MjdCQcDmxM

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 24, 2019

What they lack in cuteness they make up for in looking-like-an-eel-ness? Their weird looks and hermetic life led locals to believe that they were somehow related to more mythical beasts: 17th-century naturalist Johann Weikhard von Valvasor, upon handling an olm body, claimed that they were “baby dragons” which “resembled lizards.”

Fair enough, Johann.

Aesthetics 4/10

Weird-looking critters. Even the bonus point for being mistaken for baby dragons doesn’t net the olm very much.

Difficulty 10/10

Olms live in pitch blackness and only get a meal about once every 10 years. Even ignoring hunger, that environment would quickly reduce even the most hardened human into a gibbering wreck.

Competitiveness 0/10

Nothing happens.

Overall 14/30

Sorry, Johann, but olms aren’t sports.

Scene 9: Lynx

10/10 on the graceful fence leap, extra points for epicness.#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/rkwRWiDxZN

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 24, 2019

It is hard to be an Iberian lynx. Nearly extinct, and hemmed in on all sides by human development, their population was at one point reduced to double-figures. Their final fastness is in southern Spain, where conservation efforts are going reasonably well. We are introduced to a lynx patriarch, who has helped preserve his species by fathering ... wait ARE WE GOING TO GET KITTENS?

And the award for cutest cat family goes to…#SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/cfqvVJl0Qf

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) November 24, 2019

KITTENS! Anyway Iberian lynxes are doing better these days, but still not well at all. Europe has been so over-developed that there’s no room for wild animals to co-exist along with humans, and so, like the lynx, large animals everywhere are under threat. Unless people make a concentrated effort to be much better neighbours, the lynx, and many other critters, won’t last long.

Aesthetics 10/10

KITTENS!

Difficulty 7/10

Imagine living your days in existential dread, suspecting that you might be close to the end of the line for your whole species. Couldn’t relate.

Good jump though.

Competition 0/10

Nothing happens.

Overall 17/30

Probably not sports, although I could be tempted to change my mind for reasons entirely related to KITTENS!

[debraofamerica]

Andrew’s EB Story: An Introduction

Throughout 2014, Andrew Conrad dedicated monthly posts to sharing his EB story as part of our Family Stories series. He wrote about what it was like when he was younger, his college days, and the challenges he’s overcome. Now, 4 years later, he’s back as a contributing blogger to our EB Story blog series!

Andrew has Recessive Dystrophic Epidermolysis Bullosa (RDEB) and currently resides in Chicago, Illinois with his fiancé, Colleen. Andrew was born in Houston, Texas and grew up in central Illinois. He went on to graduate from the University of Illinois in 2009 with a bachelor’s degree in economics and now works as a professional real estate investor at a small boutique private equity real estate investment firm in Chicago.

Andrew strives to stay physically active despite his EB. He used to train as an avid cross-fitter and only recently stopped. He was also a 4-year varsity tennis player in high school and taught tennis all throughout his high school and college careers. He has run 2 half marathons and continues to run a handful of shorter races every year around Chicago. Him and his fiancé are also avid travelers, having visited Machu Picchu (Peru), Australia, Singapore, Iceland, Italy and various other stops along the way in the past few years. In his 2014 blog series, he shares his personal goal of travelling to all 7 continents. Since then, he has been to 6 and has plans to run a half marathon in Antarctica in 2019, which will bring that number up to 7!

We’re kicking off Andrew’s EB Story contributor blog series with an introductory Q&A. Check it out below.

WHEN AND HOW DID YOU LEARN ABOUT DEBRA OF AMERICA?

While living in Houston, the doctor who diagnosed me with EB referred us to debra of America as a way to find information about the disease since, in the 80’s, there was limited information available about EB.

SINCE LEARNING ABOUT DEBRA OF AMERICA. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN INVOLVED?

My mom stayed in contact with debra while my younger brother [who also has RDEB] and I were growing up. The organization helped us meet other families with the disease and provided us with more information about EB. Given my involvement in tennis, I participated in the Mats Wilander Foundation Pro-Am when I was younger and had the privilege of playing tennis with Mats, John McEnroe, Yannick Noah, and Mikael Pernfors.

Also, about 4 years ago, I wrote an 8-part blog series for debra of America detailing various things about myself and my dealing with EB. The blog can be found at debra.org/andrewconrad. I am also a member of debra of America’s Young Leadership Committee (YLC).

PLEASE TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCES GROWING UP WITH EB.

This could be a much longer section but I will save that for another day. Growing up with EB was tough and still is. Having EB prohibits you from doing certain things and makes it difficult to fit in, especially in grade school, middle school & high school. Participating in sports growing up made it easier to be viewed as an equal. I think it takes a long time to get used to the constant questions and the not-so-well-hidden stares from both parents and kids. It got easier as I got older, which I think this was due to a combination of growing more confident and being able to better manage the disease, which made the band aids and scarring less visible. Today, I am more concerned about my pants no longer fitting as I turn another year older and another pound heavier.

WHAT HAS INSPIRED YOUR EB STORY CONTRIBUTER BLOG SERIES?

I think the same is true today that was true for me when I was writing for debra a few years back: with every passing year, I am better able to deal with the disease. Hopefully I can share some of that knowledge and help those people who read my posts. It is also nice to see that debra of America has built a strong platform for people like me to share our stories.

WHAT IMPACT DO YOU HOPE THAT YOUR SERIES WILL HAVE ON OUR READERS?

I just hope that perhaps a parent with an EB child or a young person with EB might read these blog posts and pick up some tips on how to make everyday life a little bit easier. I am still figuring out better ways of tackling what would seem to the average person as a normal activity.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO AS PART OF THE YLC OR AS A BLOG CONTRIBUTOR?

I would love to have more people email me with questions or things they would like to hear about in future blog posts. I would also like to feature people with EB that may have a story to tell about their experiences. In my brief stint as a blogger for debra a few years back, my favorite posts would be when individuals emailed me about their story and I was able to share that story.

Stay tuned for more from Andrew’s EB Story series! A big thank you to Andrew for sharing his EB story with our community.