#thanks again for helping me with this morv

[fisheito]

if someone's having a bad day what's the comfort food Yakumo would make for them? and if Yakumo's having a bad day who's the one making comfort food for him and what food is it?

ooohhhhhhhhh you would do this to me. you would walk into my room! bring up food AND that accursed snake. in front of my tiny nightlamp!!! !!

*stares at the pit laid out for me*

*leisurely walks toward it*

i think i once read in fic that yakumo cooked congee for sick food and i couldn't get it out of my mind this was before i thought about the possible ethnic influences of each character ... but once someone (was it someone HERE?) slapped "yakumo" and "han chinese" together i went "WEL>LP! *slaps my thighs* *abruptly stands* *walks out the door with my hands in the air* GUESS WE'RE DOIN THIS FOREVER, THANKS"

so. now yaku will default to making the absolute lightest congee as a "SOMEONE IS SICK AND NEEDS TO EAT" first defense unless:

-the Someone normally likes congee a certain way, and asks him to make it THAT way ((i would do this. just because i'm sick doesn't mean i'm allergic to salt. please give me my seafood congee i'll cry if it's just rice)) -the Someone has a known, OTHER preferred sick food, which yakumo will cater to the best he can. i KNOW he has a section in his brain dedicated to everyone's food preferences.

if someone doesn't like congee, he has an entire repertoire of soups to call upon. they can act as temporary sickfood til the *perfect most desirable* dish can be made what? sickie doesn't like congee? no problem. we got chikken noodle. we got cream stew. aster can procure an entire beast for bone broth in no time at all. u want blended veggebable mush? no peas, right?

example! if for some ridiculous reason dante gets sick at the mansion and he complains about the lack of solarian food while bundled under 300 blankets

yakumo is IN the library. he is OUT IN THE STREETS. researching. gathering ingredients. finding substitutes for that one solarian spice whose flavour profile is unlike anything in the light territory but HEY if you blend these 4 things we DO have together ,,it's similar enough...?

but BEFORE all that, dante is still hungy. so if picky king dante refuses to eat unless it's the Comfort Food of all time (i doubt he would refuse food all brattily in this scenario, but i'm gonna pretend he's a picky baby for fun)

then yakumo needs to prepare a pre-meal quickly! before venturing out for the grand solarian sickfood quest

in that case, i imagine he'd prepare a l'il something... where the texture and tastes are familiar to most people... like a bowl of cut up mixed fruit? or a bit of soft bread? porridge? a simple veggie broth? to fill the belly with something warm

Oh wait I REMEMBER SOMETHING FROM THE ARTBOOK. SOMETHING Like THIS!!!!!:

NNOW FOR THE OTHER SIDE OF TEHQ EUSTION *SLAPS THE WALL WITH RENEWED VIGOUR*

WHAT HAPPENS IF YAKUMO GETS SICK?! he exhibits wounded animal behaviour and drags himself into a dark corner to suffer where nobody can see him hahaha

wait. we have plenty of chefs in the mansion. that's easy enough. if any of the clan members have witnessed the secret knowledge [childhood gossip from his grandparents], then all they have to do is relay the info to the chefs.

"yakumo's grandparents always made him _____ when he was feeling bad" and BAM! professional dish ready in minutes

(i am once again assuming it'll be congee bc cooking habits are passed down LOL but if it's not that i could imagine it being a simple steamed dish like root veggies/cabbage)

that's the practical answer at least. because who wants to serve a subpar dish to chef yakumo?? in his time of weakness?!?!?

BUUUt because it's yakumo, Sappiness will help him heal faster. in which case, you could argue that a dish cooked by a mediocre-skill clan member will be as powerfully healing as a comfort dish cooked by a professional stranger.

aster would obvs make the chefs do it, and morv is not to be trusted with sustenance that is not cum. so...

safer choices: eiden, if he's better at cooking in this world now than in yaku SR intimacy rooms LOL..... but because it's eiden, even if the food is bad, yakumo's taste buds will be overshadowed by his grotesquely overwhelming love oli, who can likely cook up meals of (at least) average difficulty with consistent tastiness garu, making simple familiar meals like he did with gramps quincy, if available and willing

potential recruits: edmond under supervision, blade with a clear recipe+instructions laid out (also under supervision)

do not think about it: kuya (i bet he knows how to cook, but in ?WHAT?? universe????? would he give up his time to prepare a homecooked meal and NOT infuse it with weird stuff),

dante (i assume his cooking skills have suffered due to, you know, having to take on several other more pressing responsibilities),

rei (he will eat a poisonous shrivelled mushroom off the floor of his cabin. one that he accidentally tracked in via his boot a few weeks ago. he will consume it just to stop Father from pestering him about eating. he has no time for culinary duty)

[chicknparm]

1. "Stay here tonight." + 31. "Calm down." Chaseprice

Uhhhhhh went a bit overboard with this one...it’s quite long and there’s some big big CWs for sex, alcohol, and mentions of abuse and suicide. Only felt right for the first Chaseprice scene I write to be extremely dark and angsty. Also gotta give credit to @chaseprice as the preeminent scholar in this field for letting me bounce ideas off of her and graciously editing.

“There...now get your hands off me.” Chloe says as she pushes Victoria’s arm away from her. 

“Well that’s a new one,” Victoria scoffs back, catching her breath. “Not in the mood to whine about being held this time?”

“Shut the fuck up.” Chloe says coldly.

Victoria watches her walk over to the mini fridge she keeps under the desk. Chloe reaches inside the freezer compartment and pulls out the bottle of Vodka that permanently occupies it. She unscrews the cap and takes a large swig, furrowing her face as she does so.

“What the fuck is your problem, Price? Do you have any idea how expensive Grey Goose is in this dump? Put that shit back right now.” She scolds. Chloe turns back at her.

“What are you going to do about it.” Chloe says, monotone and disinterested.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? You of all people can’t pull this tough guy shit. What do you think I’m going to want to put you in your place and pounce on you or something? That’s not how this works, you’re not worth my energy. You come over, I cum, you cry, you leave. That’s how this works.”

“You think I want you to touch me right now?” Chloe says, raising her eyebrows. 

Clearly Chloe isn’t expecting, or doesn’t care to listen to, an answer, as she takes another large swig of Victoria’s Vodka and sets it down, still uncapped, on her desk. She grabs her tank top that was tossed over a chair and nonchalantly puts it on. Usually during this stage Victoria can’t help herself but to sneak a couple more glances at Chloe’s chest, but it’s becoming clear this isn’t some ploy to keep her turned on.

Chloe is always moody after sex, but not like this. Normally, she just has a breakdown and embarrasses herself with a flood of tears, and the words never cross either of their lips, but it’s understood who and what she’s crying over. Victoria likes it when Chloe is aggressive, a little angry, that’s kind of the whole deal, but this is different. 

“I think you want someone to touch you.” Victoria says with a cruel smirk, having found her angle.

“Who?”

“Wow, you really are a masochist huh?” Victoria smugly looks at Chloe, if Chloe wants to play with fire let her get burned. “ Rachel. Rachel Amber. Your fucking angel dream girl whatever the fuck. You know, the one who left? The one who disappeared without a word?”

“Yeah. I do. You do too though.” Chloe grabs the vodka again and takes another swig.

“You’re going to be so fucking trashed, Price, you already stank of cheap beer when you got here. If you throw up in my dorm I’ll make sure you never step foot on this campus again. But, anyway, what the fuck are you getting at?”

“You wish she was here too. You miss her touching you too.” Chloe says, starting to raise her voice. Several shots worth of vodka seem to be catching up to her now. “Whole fucking school knows you two hooked up. Whole school knows what you are, Vic.”

“You’re such a cunt.” Victoria bites back. She shouldn’t lose her cool though, she can’t give up control like that. “Well if you know that, then I guess you should also know that she fucks better than you do.”

“I know exactly how she fucks. You think I care about your stupid fuckin, fuckin dick measuring contest?” Chloe sloppily screws the cap back on the Vodka and slams it back into the freezer. She starts fumbling with her pockets. “Where’d I put my keys.”

“No,” Victoria says, much more softly than she intended, “go walk home, you’re not driving anywhere like this except headfirst into traffic.” 

“Put some clothes on, you’re embarrassing yourself.” Chloe says, continuing her search.

Victoria hadn’t even thought about the fact that she was still naked. Duly embarrassed, she grabs some shorts and a tank top of her own as nonchalantly as she can so as not to give Chloe any satisfaction. Vic looks over and sees her still searching around the dorm room, illuminated only by the moonlight through her window. 

Victoria doesn’t care about her. She’s just a sex toy, a dirty one at that, but this still doesn’t feel right.

“Knock it off, Price, seriously, go catch a bus with the rest of the drunks.”

“What the fuck do you care?! Stop acting like you give a shit!” Chloe finally snaps.

This is also new. The way Chloe is looking over at her, looking down at her, is different from all the times she’s hate-fucked her. Usually all it takes is some comments about her being poor, being pathetic, being lonely, that get her to hold Victoria down and be rough with her, just as she likes it. But there’s not an ounce of lust in her eyes tonight. Not an ounce of desire, just hate. Can’t be far from breaking her now. 

“I don’t. Go get turned to paste like your dad for all I care.”

That does the trick. Chloe stomps her way over to Victoria’s bed and screams in her face. “Don’t you ever fucking say a word about him!” She grabs Victoria by the chin, with more force than she’s ever touched her before. “Not one fucking word!”

Victoria doesn’t flinch. She barely blinks. She doesn’t know how to react. Chloe lets go of her face and steps away, her own mouth agape in shock.

“I-I…” Chloe starts, but falls to her knees and starts to sob.

“Calm down…” Victoria tries to maintain her detached tone but it’s not working. Chloe has never snapped like this. Never even come close to getting physical (in a way Victoria didn’t explicitly want). But she’s never hit Chloe below the belt the way she did just now either. Victoria obviously wanted a reaction, but she didn’t want this. Or, maybe she did want it, and what does that say about her? After what happened last semester she’d been trying to save that extra level of cruelty only for herself. But Chloe’s always been the exception. And now she’s seeing the result.

“Price, you’ve gotta...come on just…” Victoria stumbles over her words as Chloe continues to sob on the floor, “Chloe. Don’t do this.”

“I’m a fucking monster!” Chloe cries into her hands.

“You’re not, no, you’re not a monster. You’re a lot of things, but you’re not a monster.” Victoria’s voice is softening, almost against her will. Used to be Victoria could make girls cry without a second thought. Or if she did feel a pang of guilt, she could always drown those feelings later, but this situation is on the verge of danger.

“I am! Get drunk, come over here and hit you, I’m like him...I’m like him and, him and your dad.” Chloe says wiping her face on her arm.

“No. You’re not my dad, and you’re not your step-dad either. They’re the monsters. Neither of them feel anything when they hurt people.”

“I gotta fuckin...gotta…” Chloe slurs, trailing off at the end as she looks across the room and gets up from the floor. She walks over to Victoria’s closet and grabs her jacket from the handle. She fumbles with the pockets but Victoria can hear the jangling of a keychain inside.

“Chloe, no, don’t do this.” Victoria panics, grabbing Chloe by the arm. “Please. Don’t do this, I don’t want you to go out there and kill yourself.” She says through tears of her own.

“Well why didn’t you say that to fuckin Kate Marsh! She didn’t do, fucking anything to you! I deserve this, she didn’t.” Chloe says, looking away from Victoria.

Victoria’s grip tightens on Chloe’s arm. She’s right. Kate didn’t do anything to her. And she kept pushing that girl, and pushing her and pushing her, and now she’s dead. 

“No. Chloe, neither of you deserve to fucking die and I can’t let another person do this. Please, stay here tonight.”

Chloe finally looks at her. A mix of fear, anger, and self-loathing shine through her watery eyes in the moonlight. Victoria never saw Kate this close, but she wonders how many times she had that same look in her eyes. Chloe looks at the ground again and pulls to move away from Victoria, but Victoria doesn’t let go. Chloe tries taking a step forward, maybe thinking she could drag Victoria with her, but she loses her balance and falls to the floor. Victoria still holds onto her arm and kneels down next to Chloe, once again sobbing into the floor. Victoria lets out a sigh and finally lets herself feel just how much she’s been shaking. She will have to push Chloe out of the door as soon as she wakes up. 

Just because Victoria doesn’t have any love for Chloe doesn’t mean she wants to see her dead. Every other night from here on out she’ll be her own problem, but at least she’s safe. For now. Victoria reaches over and pulls a pillow and quilt off of her couch, properly setting Chloe up for the night. She’ll have to get up to get her a bucket soon, just in case. It’s a while before she lets go of her arm.

[clouds-rambles]

Hi i really enjoyed your recent venti one shot with the misunderstanding is it alright if I request it with Zhongli please? Congrats on 100 followers bestie 😨

Of course bestie I’m glad that you’re enjoyed it! And tysm I cannot comprehend how I’ve gotten so many followers so fast like hi everyone.

I’m reopening my inbox soon! <3

YEAH I JUST CASUALLY WROTE 1K WORDS FOR THIS LOOK AT ME GO

Pairings; Zhongli x reader

Warning(s); jealousy, hurt/comfort ig

Keep reading under the cut

“What’s the plan for today dearest?” Zhongli asks as he takes a sip of his tea, you smile at your spouse

“Childe is helping me with my commissions today” you lie easily, Zhongli doesn’t pick up on that lie “You really shouldn’t have made friends with him, he keeps pestering me for a fight” you huff putting down the newspaper that you were reading

“Are you going to take him up on the offer” Zhongli asks as he takes your now discarded newspaper to read for himself

“I have a reputation to uphold my love, I can’t just go round beating up Fatui Harbingers” you respond mostly in jest “Maybe if he annoys me enough I’ll give him a taste of his own medicine” you tell your spouse as you stand.

You give Zhongli a kiss before you pick up your bag “Wamnin Resturant at 5, the fatui is paying” you tell the man as you open the front door “Love you, bye”

Zhongli bids you goodbye despite you already being out the door as he continues reading the newspaper before going about to start his day.

The week rolls past and you’ve been spending many of your days with Childe. You had only spend one of the seven days with him. And despite the fact Zhongli is more than used to seeing you gone for weeks at a time when you’re travelling, but usually when you spend time at home you spend most of it with him or running the occasional commission.

Zhongli doesn’t need to reassure himself about your relationship, you married eachother for pity’s sake. If there wasn’t sufficient trust Zhongli would have never got married to you.

Though the ex-archon cannot shake the pit in his stomach that you’re avoiding him for some reason. Over the last week you have come home more exhausted  than he has seen you in a while. Yet you still sleep in the same bed as him. If something was happening you surely wouldn’t torment him by sleeping in the same bed as him right?

Zhongli voices his concerns to Hu Tao who just laughs at him and tells him not to worry about a thing. Hu Tao knows something...

Yet no matter how much he tries to pry the damned director refuses to tell him why he shouldn’t worry. Zhongli returns home from his shift a little grouchy and when you try to push him on the matter Zhongli confronts you on it.

“[name], my dear, I have to ask why I haven’t seen much of you over this week” he asks trying to hide his tinge of jealousy. You smile at him and give him a kiss.

“Hey, you don’t need to worry your pretty face about it, it’ll come clean soon” you tell him with a grin. Zhongli wants to argue that he is in fact worrying his pretty little face because he’s out of the loop and he very much dislikes being out of the loop. But Zhongli knows that once you’ve made up your mind on telling him or not telling him something you won’t budge. He admires that about you and in that regard you’re much like him. Two immovable mountains that rarely but heads. But to be honest, as immovable as his mountain be he caves to you far too often, you’re just too lovable not to.

Another four days pass with you hanging about Childe. Zhongli feels like he very much hates the harbinger for stealing you for a week and a half. That’s a week and a half closer to your next exhibition. As much as Zhongli doesn’t want to damper your explorative spirit he truly misses you when you’re gone. If it weren’t for his informal contractual obligation to keep an eye on Liyue, Zhongli would accompany you on every exhibition.

“Morning love” you greet as he wakes up. It’s not often that you wake up before him. 

“How long have you been awake for?” Zhongli asks groggily, you smile and kiss his nose

“Long enough to know that you look positively adorable when your sleeping” you confess with a giggle. Zhongli smiles at you

“You’re lucky I love you” he jests hugging you “What’s you itinerary for the day my dear?” he asks into your neck . 

“You’re going to accompany me today” you reply. Zhongli pulls back with a quirk of his brow “Now get ready, we’ve got a schedule today” you tell him giving him another kiss and getting out of bed

Curious Zhongli gets himself dressed and meets you at the front door where you have already collected everything necessary for the day ahead of you. And as soon as Zhongli is ready you lead your spouse through the harbour hand in hand.

Much of the morning is spent at the tea house where the two of you eat a large brunch. Zhongli mentions in passing of wanting to go to a shop for something nice and you go and visit it before morving sw

“Afternoon Tartaglia” you greet the harbinger as he waves you over

“Afternoon Zhongli, [name]. Right on schedule I see” he grins leading the two of you to the bottom of the harbour and onto a boat where there’s a handful of workers and a handful more friends. Childe joins the group of people who all watch the two of you.

“What’s happening?” Zhongli asks you with a tilt of his head. You only smile at him and take his hands

“Well Zhongli, my husband” you tell him looking up into his eyes “We have been together for what feels like forever” you start pausing to look at Childe who gives you a thumbs up “And the reality is that the two of us took our vows to each other 5 years ago to the day” you continue smiling at your husband “And I know I was away for last years anniversary so this year I’m making double the effort to make up for it”

Zhongli stares at you then to his friends, then at the boat around him that has has started to move around Liyue before he meets your gaze again. In all his years he has never been at such a loss for words. Tears collect at the corner of the ex-archons eyes

“I’m speechless” he says before smiling at you and moving his hand to your cheek “I love you so much”  he confesses kissing your forehead

“Well folks with that I think we can get this party started” Childe announces with a clap of his hands. There’s a commotion at the top of the boat where a band starts playing some orchestral music and everyone begins mingling.

While Zhongli speaks to the traveller and Paimon he can’t help but notice you thanking Childe and embracing him tightly. Zhongli thinks to himself how ridiculous he was to be so jealous of the time you were spending with the fatui when in reality you were doing so much work for him.

Archons above he loves you.

--

Cloud makes a return of Zhongli being cute and married <3