#that adds up to 20 AT LEAST
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(man c'mon my folders are such a mess smh) my sweet darling @tangerminie tagged me for this! tysm<3
post the names of all the files in your wip folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous they are. let people send you an ask with any titles most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have wips.
I shit you not when I say I had just woken up when I read tangy's post and I was so dead that I had to google what a wip folder was LMAO
plus nooo cause i am such a meticulous puta i need everything on its different folder cause if not I'll most likely forget about it and like nooo I don't know that many people to tag lol
imma just mention the works that aren't on the 'coming soon' side of my masterlist which just bc I can I'll link here (free promo bruh!)
only angel (mafia seungminnie) istg i found this one a while ago and I plan to make it so much better than what it is rn but we'll get there sometime
bartender innie au i suck for titles, plus this one only has like a prompt and me fangirling over it
part 2 sparring channie i REALLY suck for titles, fml
leave me alone [pls don't go far] this one is just empty like there's only a title of a song, the chosen skz member and one sentence to give me ideas yk
keep it (NSFW) this is here because i got writer-triggered by a minsung realization, i just have the description/idea of what I want it to be lol
tagging: @ire67 (i am so making you do this)
@that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick @ihrtlix @deathlypink (you my loves pls don't have any pressure whatsoever<3)
~Kats, a wannabe meticulous puta who needs to get better at writing consistently rather than just coming up with random ideas till she forgets they exist.
#I googled it and i was like#OH THAT HAS A NAME#*comprehension noises*#but like i have 11 wip folders for 11 diff works cause yk I'm built different#oh that and the weird ass notes on my phone#that adds up to 20 AT LEAST#lmaooo#tag game#this is fun#katsreplies<3
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so much happened in this whole episode but i’m still on fig infiltrating ruben’s dream, making it look like the place where his friend was murdered, and then disguising herself as kipperlilly & repeatedly saying different variants of “somebody needs to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. it’s going to be you.” while adaine as the elven oracle shows up next to her. can you imagine waking up from that, the idea of a horrible truth being pinned on you by your friend to save her own skin while the personification of fate and destiny stands there, almost as a promise that this is GOING to happen to you. we don’t even know if this kid is guilty. my god.
#fantasy high#dimension 20#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high junior year#fig faeth#ruben hopclap#lucy frostblade#the rat grinders#adaine abernant#kipperlilly copperkettle#watching fig terrorize him like girl!!! we don’t even know if he’s guilty!!!!#this might just be for me but i do not think 5 teenagers willingly brutally killed their friend idk#like there just has to be some other element to it and i am very scared to find out what that was#what if they were put in a position where they felt there was/there was no other choice… like oh my god#my comedy brain is having fun but my ‘this is a teenager’ brain is in such deep distress all the time this season#the rat grinders i trust brennan to not make u cartoonishly evil so i am holding u as gently as i can in my confused shaky hands#also with the devil’s nectar i’ve been wondering why they all seem so well-adjusted & now i’m curious if they’ve been intentionally-#changing their memories in a way so that either the trauma is lesser or they think they aren’t guilty. idk#but it seems like from how gertie was talking she was making it more recently so the well adjustedness from early jy doesn’t quite add up#they could have another source maybe??? idk i’m just low stakes 4 a.m. spitballing here#there’s also the strong possibility that they’re aware of what happened but they weren’t the ones who killed lucy. idk who knows#the way you could probably devil’s nectar yourself into believing it wasn’t your fault someone died… CRAZY IMPLICATIONS!!! CRAZY IDEA!!!#anyways the bad kids & the rat grinders don’t ever have to like each other but i do wonder if at least some of those kids deserve a chance
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Her whole body was on fire.
Not the pleasant, tingling sort of fire that had been consuming her as she kissed Sebastian just moments before.
These were terrible, burning flames that made her nerves scream in agony as her body tried to purge itself of the curse. Once her coughing stopped she tried her hardest to straighten her spine and pretend that it wasn't what they both knew it was. But everything hurt so badly, and she knew she wasn't fooling Sebastian.
Eloise was terrified. She had seen how Anne's body had wasted away due to the curse, and Eloise wasn't hopeful she would survive. Even if Sebastian hadn't given up hope when his sister was cursed, he had already been researching relentlessly for a cure for over a year without any breakthroughs - and his research was in addition to Nurse Blainey and St. Mungo's fruitless attempts to heal her.
But...she could take a small measure of comfort from the fact that she had managed to save Anne.
Even if it was at the expense of her own well-being.
"What did you do?" Sebastian whispered, voice raspy, eyes wide and horrified as he looked at her.
Her eyes darted away from his accusing glare, down to the white sleeve that was now peppered with tiny spots of the blood she had just coughed up. They were slowly growing, the tiny spatters expanding and mingling with each other. "I..."
Throat constricting, tears welling up in her eyes, a sob that she was trying to swallow back down.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
Eloise shook her head helplessly. "I have no idea."
She wasn't lying. When she had run to help Anne in Feldcroft all those weeks ago, she had been acting on pure instinct. Just as she had when Leander had hit Sebastian with diffindo. It was the most natural thing in the world to dip into whatever ancient magic reserves she was privy to and just use them. Even if she didn't fully understand these instincts.
"What did you do?" Sebastian repeated, voice rising with every word. He started pacing in front of the fireplace, running an agitated hand through hair that Eloise had already messed up. "I...oh, god. This can't be happening again."
"I would do it again. I saved Anne." Eloise's voice sounded very small to her ears and she shrunk away at the expression on his face when he turned to look at her. It was incredulous and devastated and furious and she couldn't look at him any more. She turned her head to watch the flames. Out of the corner of her eye she could see his agitated, jerky movements.
"At the expense of your own health! Merlin, this is all my fault. I -"
Eloise couldn't hear whatever Sebastian was about to say as his words were lost to another fit of coughing. His anger slipped away and was immediately replaced with concern as he moved to stand in front of her, gently reaching out a hand to her shoulder.
She was lost to the pain and flames screaming - was she screaming? - their way up her throat, the hacking coughs so gratingly painful that it was all she could focus on.
"Fuck," she heard Sebastian say. "Wait..."
He put an arm around her waist and helped her move the short distance to the bed. As soon as he let go of his hold on her, she fell to her side. Her arms were useless at the moment, and the side of her face met the mattress as she fell without being able to catch herself. Tears were streaming down her face as she coughed and coughed and coughed and -
"Here. Please..." A reassuringly solid presence at her side, leaning her body against his chest, her head lying limply across his shoulder. A gentle hand grabbed her jaw and then forced a potion down her throat.
Eloise immediately started gagging and tried to wrest herself from his grasp. The potion was thick and viscous and tasted like mud, slowly sliding its way down her throat. If the curse had manifested itself in all-encompassing flames, this potion was its antidote in the form of shards of ice that burned in an entirely different way. Her ears were ringing and her head swam in pain as she whimpered.
But...
The coughing had stopped.
Her eyes slowly opened.
Sebastian's face swam in and out of her vision as she blinked away the tears. There was a sharp stab of pain through her head when she tried to focus her vision, so she just closed her eyes again and moved her face into the crook of his neck.
Her breath came out in ragged gasps, but at least she wasn't coughing anymore.
She felt his arms tighten around her, one of his hands starting to massage the base of her neck as he cradled her body to his. Sebastian was warm, reassuring, solid. That, she could focus on. Eloise breathed in deeply, and the faint smell of cinnamon mixed with what she was now recognizing as Sebastian filled her senses. She tried to move an arm so she could caress him the way he was, but her arms were numb and tingling and she was just so tired.
She felt herself drifting off to sleep in his arms, the overwhelming feeling of safety and comfort being her last fleeting thoughts before sleep overcame her.
the scene after their first kiss, that I drew a while ago😇😇😇
#I really love this little sketch…my poor sweet angel…#so…um…I may or may not have rewritten this scene#after two weeks of nonstop coughing up my lungs😍😍😍#I know I always ask but do you like my writing going with these sketches??? or just post the art…#idk since I don’t draw much expression and I like drawing the bodies more#I think it’s nice to add the writing to actually see what’s going on😆#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy oc#hogwarts legacy mc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow fanart#hogwarts legacy fanfic#btw this is the beginning of chapter 20 of my fic#wait should I add a spoiler alert ???????? 😳 I think this is kind of a spoiler (duh)#but at the same time with everything else going on in my story and what I’m adding now#this is like the least spoilery spoiler to ever spoiling spoil
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genuinely really frustrating that people will like. choose to accept the age mistake made in assassin as canon for deathbringer when it actively contradicts older material. like. sorry idk if this is me being unfair here but genuinely like. why would you think it's intentional when deathbringer is described in main series as maybe a year or two older than glory at most, and can canonically not be any older than 9 due to stated timeline facts in the main series.
like. I get not liking glorybringer, i really do. no ship is for everyone. hell, even if assassin specifically makes you feel weird about it, so be it, to each their own. i can undertsnad that too. and yes, the glorybringer fans who think the age gap are canon are also in the wrong. they're being really gross, i don't think it's necessary to disclaim that, that feels given, but like... that only comes to my point still of like, i really don't understand taking a spin-off as canon over the main series. i don't really understand prioritizing later content as canon as opposed to the main work over spin-off as canon. why should a spin-off take jurisdiction just cuz it's newer? i feel like the older the canon is, the more likely it is the newer stuff will make mistakes. to me, in the case of a contradiction, the main series should be taken to? a spin-off is meant to supplement the main series, so shouldn't it only supplement canon that doesn't contradict?
like also, i get being frustrated it isn't fixed, but also. like. i obviously have not worked with a publisher before, but if I was writing for fucking scholastic books, no matter how well fucking beloved my series was, I don't know if I could risk being like "hey. can you pull my books from shelves and e-stores for me so that I can edit one line?" Like. I really don't think there's any reality in which I can make a corporation agree to that kind of thing, no matter what that one line may fuck up about my main story. like it's not even the only mistake she makes in the winglets. she calls deathbringer a rainwing in the flip book, but we're not hailing that as canon in retrospect, right? I don't know. I think it's unfair to presume that she's choosing not to fix it as opposed to it being an improbable to downright impossible thing to ask of a publisher. like yes tui is an incredibly successful author but i really don't know if we can presume she has that much actual sway on her publisher.
it's just really exhausting as a deathbringer enjoyer to feel like if I want to talk about and enjoy his character, and yes, that includes context given in the assassin winglet once you ignore the timeline error, i feel like I constantlyyy have to be saying "yes I think the timeline error is an error. no i don't think deathbringer is 13." like. every time i bring him up. i'm a riptide fan I'm used to it but also it's sooooo tiring to go into a character tag for a guy i like and be swamped with hatred for him and it's so much worse for deathbringer than riptide because in the deathbringer tag I have to deal with being actively accused of excusing gross shit for liking him instead of people just saying that my blorbo is boring.
#by nightwings standards deathbringer isn't even a fucking adult. like even when I was first reading the books he never read as an adult to#me. and the assassin winglet only further adds to this for me not lessens. he reads so much as#teenager/barely in his 20s guy who grew up#way too fucking fast for his own good but fully buys into his own narrative that he's got everything sorted and together#the way the age system works as I've always interpreted it is that like. each age up to 7 covers a wide but decreasing number of human#maturity years every time and then slows to the years being one-to-one by the time they're 7#with 7 corresponding to 18#which makes the nightwings not counting dragonets as fully grown until 10 the equivalent to how 21 is kind of like being an Actual Adult#law wise in America at least i mean to say#deathbringer can't even legally buy beer yet is what I'm saying. some hotels wouldn't let him check in without an accompanying adult#deathbringer#misc#wings of fire#wof#sorry for complaining in main tag but I'm so fucking tired of being made to feel gross for liking a character over material that#no casual fan of the series is even going to know exists or read that is so clearly a timeline error based on everything in the actual#series that I read#does my joke about him not being able to buy beer make up for it#do you guys still think i'm cool#on the note of publishing too#there's no reason to think scholastic could even make it happen in a timely fashion even if tui did ask for the change to the books. like.#looking up working with scholastic reviews some of the most common negative reviews are about poor management#i'm not trying to white knight for her or anything i think she's a flawed human being like anyone else I just think if ur gonna critique he#you should do it about stuff that's like actually poorly handled in her series. not a timeline error in a spin-off. like. come on.
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My hot take is people should age up the links in their linked universe fics. Make legend in their later 20s. Make time in his mid 40s. Make warriors in his 30s. Why is wind still 12? It would make sense, if this is years after their adventures, that they'd have lived a decent life. Another point, why are their adventures so short? These are adventures, journeys that span a decently long time. If anything, they'd last at least a year, if they have to train and build up strength. I mean look at botw. We know he trained for years pre-canon. His "journey", the actual story of botw, took him from a guy who got killed easily by a chuchu to a highly trained swordsman with insane strength and stamina who took down the calamity. That does not take mere months. Yeah typically people say wild's journey lasted the longest, but that grace would make sense if it's extended to the rest
#linked universe#like why are they teenagers#the way people write their personalities and experiences vs their age#it doesnt add up at all. at aaaalll. yall write legend like hes in his 30s at least MAKE him in his early 30s#weary and jaded and just wanting to be at home with a cup of coffee#and warriors whos a military captain#is NOT a dude in his early 20s
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im sorry UTS, but WHAT on fucking earth is "creative intelligence and innovation"????? and why on earth would anyone studying nursing or midwifery need "entrepreneurship and innovation" as a double degree??
#life#about me#shut up ilona#uni#uni life#uts is uni of technology sydney btw#thought i'd have a look today at what courses they offer to see if they got rid of that library course i was going to do back in 2019#and my GOD. reading the subject outlines for the “creative intelligence and innovation” subjects......#....were literally just vague asf corporate-speak gobble-de-gook for 'system thinking and innovation leaders of tomorrow'#what the fuck does that have to do with nursing or midwifery???#WHY would you add another like 16 to like 20 grand to a nursing degree with this useless ass diploma of corporate brainrot???#like motherfucker. do you really WANT a theranos 2.0 or an elizabeth holmes 2.0???#bc that's what you're opening up the world to with this bs 'creative intelligence and innovation' course....#..... paired with many of the egotistical high school mean girls that apparently go into nursing and other medical field careers...#....and also entrepreneurship.... or at least in my opinion anyway#you can also pair it with science which also to me could lead to sketchy shit tbh
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OHHHHH MY GOD COMING OFF ANON BECAUSE !??!?!? SCPSL MENTIOn!!?!??!? you are the ONLY person i've EVER seen that mentioned that game in being similar to lethal company ohhhh my god oh my god i used to be so crazy autism over that game Okay. okay. oh my godddd I LOVE(D) SCPSL SO MUCH and it makes me so so so happy to see a game like it get so popular!!! i love lethal company!!! and i love the creatures and the randomly generated facilities and the PROXIMITY chat and the lore (sigurd adn desmond<3) and i love that ALL MY FRIENDS CAN AND DO PLAY ITTT ^__^ its like 14 year old me got blessed by the autism fairy joy and beauty to the world
i don’t know how to say this in a way that wont make me sound like i shouldnt be allowed in public spaces so i’ll just go ahead and say it. I have 200 hours in scpsl
#i havent played it in like 2 or 3 years because one day#it just stopped working on win7. But i got win10 now so theoretically i could play it again. but do i want to#it’s not that it’s a bad game! like i said i’ve had a lot of fun with it. just like lethal company it has some truly#hilarious and truly scary moments#however i can remember a few times where it was just not fun ….. maybe it was the players or the unfair balance or wjatever. But well#i did love it. i love scp and getting to play an scp game for free was life changing to me. IT WAS SO FUN!!#AND I HAD THE MOST BLISSFUL GAMING EXPERIENCE BECAUSE I HAD A BUG WITH MY GAME WHERE I COULDNT HEAR ANYONE AND NO ONE COULD HEAR ME#Probably pissed off my teammates numerous times but well . At least got to exclusively vc with my friends on discord#i think the thing with lethal company (and by extension amogus which is also smth i associate lc with) is that you can play it exclusively#with your buddies. you dont have to join some random ass lobby with random ass people just because the game needs 20 players. U can just#have actual fun. because yes proxy vc is a fun feature for a game but i am seriously grateful that scpsl was bugged for me#i’ve played a lot of ‘shooter’ games (or just games similar to genre) and like Sure im used to people being jerks in game chat or something#but there’s a difference between game chat and straigjt up vc ….. so yeah. i know that it’s barely scpsl’s fault but i just felt like sayin#all that. Blinks#where am i . what am i talking about#sorry for the weird not quite rant about scpsl BUT YES i do think lethal company is quite similar to it. And like if that game was fun again#not to mention the creatures!!! like. coilhead? 173 but well it’s a common trope. eyeless dog? literally 939. A MASK THAT POSSESSES YOU?#DUDE . THIS IS 035 . BRACKEN? okay that’s like 096 but a little to the left#all they need to do now is add a 049 adjacent creature Or perhaps an evil ai computer that locks you in the building or makes landmines#explode on their own. i dont even know. zeekeers hire me#and yeah i love the rng of it all because it makes for a uniquely hilarious/terrifying experience each time. Something it sucks so bad and#you get a facility with like 1 door which is locked. but that too is funny. to me lc isnt about winning it’s about dying in the funniest way#sigmund and desmond lore is also rly good <3 i hope it gets expanded upon. Would love to see some more worldbuilding stuff like WHATHAPPENED#cramswering#anyway. it has been years since i played scpsl and i know tjat they did a bunch of updates and added a bunch of scps . So i dont know if the#game is better or worse now. and i dont know if i want to find out…. what if my game becomes unbugged and i hear people#now THAT’S real horror game material if you ask me
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sorry for googling "is shadow of the erdtree hard" do u still think im cool....
#jk if u know me u know difficulty doesnt faze me i hope its a rl fuckin challenge#but just realised i prolly shouldnt start my ng+/2+ runs for all ending achievements until after ive played sote..#bc otherwise my first sote run will be on a ramped up difficulty. when the base dlc is supposed to be harder than the main game already..#and i might wanna complete it across multiple new games anyway if there are duplicates of stuff i wanna get hmm.....#well. in my current elden ring save i literally only have 5 more altered armor pieces to farm before starting ng+#so ill finish that. and finish upgrading all weapons to +24/+9. and then take a tolerance break to play a few other games#and THEN ill buy myself sote and play that and do the ng+ stuff after#also one of the main things delaying me getting sote was bc i thought theyd add new achievements for it which would lower my completion%#but they haven't??? so thats fine then#anyway i need to sleep. at least playing er has been helping me cope w how pissed off ive been again. we <3 violence#yaaaawn. sad i couldnt go to the gym tho i hope i feel better in a couple days time#i did go to work in the end which was fine lol. glad i didnt take the day off tbh#but yeah 👍#.diaries#also not being able to get any sote stuff yet is annoying me bc im using a spreadsheet to keep track of all weapons/armour etc#and i have virtually everything except a couple armour alt variants n the remembrances i didnt get first time. but my total percentages#are capped around 75-80% bc the remaining 20-25% of items are sote exclusive.....#thats an insane amt tho damn. sote must be fucking HUGE
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matpat's goddamn fuckin "mario is evil" or whatever it was video has done years of damage to the way people characterise and interpret mario as a character. it's super goddamn mario he goes wahoo and he loves his friends and everyone knows him how do you even fuck up the internet's perception of him that badly
#it's even more insane because mario is one of those characters who has at least a dozen completely different common interpretations#that i think are great and correct and absolutely mario#modern basic mascot early-20s mario? that's mario! middle aged working class kind hearted uncle-type mario? that's mario!#stoic and a little scary but well meaning thumbs up emoji paper mario? that's mario! weird creature super mario 64 mario? that's mario!#also if you are doing a more nuanced take on the mario universe then yeah you can absolutely add flaws and have him feel intact#but if you start characterising him as a shite brother and an uncaring animal abuser for no reason then fucka you#you dont know him like i do
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tell her i was the one who did it / he said he'll always love you (may 3rd, 2024)
cover art by arok318
#naomi hunter#gray fox#mgs#Spotify#tell her i was the one who did it / he said he'll always love you#picklepuffleposting#ihave screenshots of the conversations these are from (both towards the end of mgs1)#if youre looking up these characters and found this post i assume you dont care about spoilers. if you do then look away#but the first half is from when gray fox shows up during the rex fight#and the second is from the last codec call with naomi (not counting her monologue(?))#so. will post those in a sec#sorry this took me like a solid 20 minutes to format btw i had to check again and again to make sure fhe format was at least Mostly +#consistent w my prev posts#ok no more tags...!! while ive been gone i developed an awful habit of rambling (like. way way way more than i used to. its Bad)#and we had a whole identity crisis or somefhing idk. NOT THE POINT! i said enough tags and i will listen to that#playlistdirectory#<- just remembered to add that Several hours later. like right after i posted the transcript of the dialogue i named this after </3
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Seismic Pallet Rack, Racking, new and used, shelving, cantilever rack (concord / pleasant hill / martinez)
#d uprights#8' long x 4#d#GREEN SEISMIC TEARDROP UPRIGHTS. Ask for the innovative uprights that are knocked down for ease of shipping; and are easily set up with nut#Then we have ORANGE BEAMS that are 6'#8'#9'#10'#12' long with capacities from 2200 lbs./pair to 8204 lbs./pair.#Don't forget about the wire decks made necessary by the fire dept. They want you to have “flow through” decks that allow the sprinklers to#the heat to rise#set off the alarm and activate the vents. Call for prices.#We also sell USED PALLET RACK if it is AMERICAN SEISMIC DESIGN. Chinese made and most of the used pallet rack are not seismic design. Chine#increasing the number of connector rivets on the ends of the beams from 2 to 3#and sometimes requiring backers (double columns) on the upright channels to at least the first beam level.#How do you get your forklift from the ground to your dock or the bed of a truck? Use a MOBILE YARD RAMP. They roll around to various locati#Ground-to-trailer application best served with 36' ramp including a 6' level off. Note the lip on the top end that is welded onto a frame f#000 lbs. capacity as opposed to a flimsy hinged steel plate that doesn't have 20#000 lbs. capacity. Other sizes and capacities available.#All steel welded construction. MADE IN AMERICA. Ramps made in China do not have quality control of their steel. Therefore#the capacities cannot be guaranteed.#Add the full undercarriage with solid 18#or 48“ length of forks. We used to sell used pallet jacks but within a few weeks the customer would come back and want to get a refund beca#WHERE-IS#CASH AND CARRY#NO REFUNDS#CREDITS#WARRANTY#EXCHANGES OR RETURNS#Cash and carry
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“there actually used to be an eccles floor but it was removed” where. Where are you getting this
#i mean this genuine and curiously but im so doubtful its real because i see nothing on the wiki removed floors abt it . BUT who knowse#i asked the person in case#i also thinkk theres some difficult to explain communications about areas since cant put images in the chat. like#im 99% sure you cant go back up the first huge vent drop because it would require at least 20 boxes to be 1. brought all the way to#the beginning of the game#and then 2. stacked perfectly on top of each other#wh ich. is . like i think actually impossible due to the boxes still having physics when you hold them#like if you were climbing to the top of the tower to add another box it would knock all of the boxes down in the process because the space#is so tight..#sorry ramble. Im Insane and i need information#that is correct
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quick someone give me 2k no time for questions
#ugh#i have like at least 1k of parts and work we have to do to the van#like parts for the passenger sliding door#just getting it cleaned is going to be like $500 i bet#unless i pay the neighbors kid to do it like he offered#maybe i'll ask him what he would charge me#sigh#then theres other little things that all add up#im just tired and i don't have any money#im going to be selling more of my personal collection here soon#and then hopefully i can just get my ass up and dump buckets#but its wet and im depressed and in pain and i still feel nausea constantly#i have some basic maintenance stuff i have to do as well#and then if i replace the filter with an actual quality filter itll be like 75 dollars#but that one i can clean repeatedly#instead of dumping 20 bucks on a cheaper filter every three months#i can buy the k&n filter and just clean it every 3 months instead#yeah you gotta buy the oil spray but thats not expensive and it lasts quite a while#so we'll see how i feel tomorrow#i have to go to AS to clean my wheells#and then i have to call the stupid ass insurance people and demand an update#i only work 2 or 3 days a week but i never feel like i have enough time for anything#dl
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Heads-up for any US K-pop fans
This weekend - Friday June 2 through Sunday June 4 - all kpop albums at Barnes & Noble 10% off
this discount WILL combine with the premium Membership Card discount, which will mean an additional 10% off for those who have cards
and it DOES also include the new Stray Kids and Enhypen comeback releases
supposedly there will also be giveaway swag? but it will vary from store to store, so check with your local B&N if you're curious!
(you can also buy/reserve specific versions on the website to pick up in the store, if you're worried about waiting til you have time to drop by, or wasting a trip)
#idk what to tag#kpop#stray kids#enhypen#five star#dark blood#there's a surprising amount of kpop plus for some reason bts21 merch but quantities are limited#i mean that's par for the course with kpop - b&n will get versions a b and c as well as an exclusive limited version of 5 star#but like if you're still looking for specific versions of like d-day or nct 127 4th album or even older stuff#definitely at least check the website bc some stuff hangs around forever in the physical stores#also 20% off is nothing to sneeze at with releases clocking in at $30 or more#the reward stamps thing also means $5 to spend for every 10 stamps which can add up fast#granted you can always get what you want shipped from anywhere if you shop around for a decent price ...#but if you want it *in your hands* on release day this is as good a way as any
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bigass vent over general life things
things in general are really not great i don't really have any optimism for the future or making a life for myself. like i don't really have any drive or ambition to look forward or work towards anything good/meaningful because as time goes on there are going to be really bad life events that i just don't think i can keep facing anymore. and theyre going to be worse. i'm just dragging along life solely on the basis that i was plopped here to just Exist and that's my task at hand that i'm reluctantly upholding. just exist until it's over
#when i say 'i'm 25' 'i'm going to be 26' it does not feel right coming out of my mouth. i do not feel just 25 or 26 i feel far far older#mentally and physically#when i'm around other people my age i just feel on a completely different plane of experience from everyone else#idk. i've always been a naturally anxious and socially stunted person & def have some kind of lingering trauma that keeps me from connectin#w people. but also having no family members or relatives anywhere near my age (~17 yrs older than me at the least) while i was growning up#probably did something to me as well. my entire life has just been witnessing family members decline and die like dominoes over the course#of 25 years. like i know all about end of life care and legal paperwork and shit like that. i know what grief is like and#seeing how it affects people. i know the stages of dread and worry and numbness & guilt-ridden relief that comes with being terrified 24/7#for an ailing family member over the course of years. knowing what it's like to grieve people who arent dead yet but you know it's coming#and then when the inevitable happens it's horrible. but also you're so exhausted from the strain that you're mostly numb. and then you feel#a sense of relief that the worst is over they're not suffering anymore you don't have to dread it anymore. which obviously makes you#question if you're some kind of deranged asshole for feeling that way. idk#25 for me has been a very eye-opening age where i'm fully realizing how fast time passes. i thought i was at around 18-20 but i was really#just first becoming aware of it.#i know how to view the world from that lens bc that's all i know. i only see life as a preparation for the end#instead of a beginning. or at least see it as a beginning at this current point in my life#covid/lockdown has definitely been a source of mental drain on me as well. the constant fear and paranoia of getting sick AND what sort of#long term consequences i could have due to getting it twice. and what i could have if i get it more than twice#add that with the general social and political climate right now and it's just...so very bleak. home life is bleak & outside world is bleak#vent
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who knows, i might pick up chang’es kid as a muse...
maybe i will maybe i won’t--
#☼ ◜ooc.◞#// im gonna wait until i finish the book#// and tweak some things about her#// kinda not liking that shes 15 and going thru this bs#// might bump up her age ; at least to fit in w a majority of the muses shes gonna be interacting with#// probably early 20s#// i know her being a teenager adds to the drama/extremeness#// but COME ON#// ENOUGH TRAUMATIZED TEENAGERS ALREADY!! IM SICK OF THE TROPE!!#// she gives me haruhi vibes from ouran high n i LOVE THAT FOR HER
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