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#i only work 2 or 3 days a week but i never feel like i have enough time for anything
fuck-customers · 2 days
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I feel like I started a domino effect at work and it's great :>
There's a couple coworkers who are just unbelievably awful to work with. They're either messy, lazy, thick as two hundred bricks or just a combination of all the above. Myself and multiple other staff have told the boss we don't want them on busy nights because it just becomes us having to do 4 people's jobs; and they're never closing so they get to do nothing and walk out scott free. Every time I have them on my closes I end up walking out of work aching, mentally exhausted and feeling like I wanna down an entire bottle of tequila.
Anyway, there's a big event coming up next week during one of my closes. I check the roster to see who I'm on with and what do I see: not 1, not 2, but all 3 of the coworkers I hate being with rostered on. The only other person who's on with us is decent, but even then it'd just be me and her picking up everyone's slack. I'm furious, cause I've specifically said not to put them on individually on busy nights and I get all 3? Guess I'll be feeling a bit under the weather that day.
Like I said, the other person who's supposed to be on is decent and I do like her, so I decided to give her a heads up that I wasn't planning on showing up and why. Immediately she's like, 'So I'd be alone with those idiots? Fuck that, I'm calling in too.' Okay pop off, can't wait for the chaos to ensue. The absolute cherry on top, the person who's supposed to be the midshift that day overhears us and she goes 'wait you guys are calling out, so I'm gonna be stuck with THOSE 3? Fuck no, I'm not coming in either'.
So now that's 3 good staff down with only the lazy ones left over and I literally CANNOT WAIT. Our boss was being a huge dick (as per usual) to all 3 of us just before we coordinated our group call out too which makes it even sweeter. Kicking my feet giggling waiting for the shitshow to go down :3
Please tell us the aftermath.
-Rodney
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for theme weekend 'kid fic' i'll slide in two of my own if you still need more. 'Take Me Home (I Don't Wanna Stay Here)' feat. single dad Eddie and 'You Make Me Feel Like I’m High And Driving' feat. single dad Steve
Take Me Home (I Don't Wanna Stay Here) by RunninRiot
Rating: Mature
24,527 words, 3/3 chapters
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use
Tags: Minor Character Death, Grief and Loss, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Single Parent Eddie Munson, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Gay Eddie Munson, Hurt Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington Friendship, Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, Good Uncle Wayne Munson, Friendship/Love, Steve Harrington Has Bad Parents, Steve Harrington & Dustin Henderson Friendship, dealing with insecurities, Acceptance, Unintentional Meddling, Found Family, Strangers to Lovers, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Modern AU - No Upside Down (Stranger Things), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, coming home, Finding home, Happy Ending
Summary:
It’s not that Steve’s overly excited to be back after not having set foot into Hawkins for almost 5 years now. The mere thought of having to spend the next couple of weeks with his parents makes his skin crawl. But he can’t really blame anyone but himself for this misfortune. He did choose to come home for Christmas on his own account. Or at least that’s what he kept telling himself on his flight here, if only not to lose himself to the whirlwind of anxiety and frustration building in his gut. He keeps telling himself that it is a good thing to take some time away from work, from parties and hook ups to think about what his future might hold. What to do and where to go. Find his own centre again. If that entails helping his mother with her stupid party and listening to his father’s lame anecdotes, oh well. He can manage to put up a smiley face for a couple of weeks, it won’t kill him. He’s done that all his life.
You Make Me Feel Like I’m High And Driving by RunninRiot
Rating: Not Rated
16,775 words, 2/2 chapters
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use
Tags: Pining, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Minor Robin Buckley/Chrissy Cunningham, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington Are Best Friends, Chrissy Cunningham & Eddie Munson Are Best Friends, Eddie Munson in Love, Eddie Munson Has a Crush on Steve Harrington, Single Parent Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington has a daughter, background OCs - Freeform, Bisexual Eddie Munson, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence
Summary:
“Steve Harrington, you idiot! I’m talking about Steve Harrington. The one that always had you drooling like a puppy, back at high school? Do you not remember?” She’s laughing now, loud and on the brink of hysterical at the bedazzled look on Eddie’s face, the latter suddenly feeling like he’s been hit by a truck. Of course, he remembers. How could he forget the name that haunted his every dream for so many years? A name that still sounds like a love song to his ears because Steve was his first love and a tragic one at that. One that never was and yet still mysteriously seems to have a place in Eddie’s heart where it lives to this day.
Thanks for the recs!
This rec is a part of Theme Weekend. The theme this weekend is Kid Fic.
Know a fic that deserves extra love? Submit through our asks or the submission box!
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E̴N̴T̴W̴I̴N̴E̴D̴ - Series - Part 2
Part 1
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x f/reader
Warnings: Fluff and Sexual tension at the end -> Raw +18 warnings will come later in other chapters
Notes: Thank you for reading and for all the nice hearts you have given to this series <3 Ready for Bridgerton S3?
WC: 4.5K
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It took all your strength to be on your right side of mind for a week. You called it a simple infatuation but your mind kept calling it... calling it... in reality, you didn't know how to call it but mere fixation was not. Was it supposed to happen in such a way that by only sharing a few glances, you could feel desire? This type of feeling was meant to be grown like plants, is it not? With talks, with promenades and tea and biscuits.
But you had those already.
Your eyes popped as the thought grew and grew. Indeed you have shared all of those with him. Seven years ago you started talking. He was your age, 21 and you 14 when by magic you two mixed like butter and toast. Talks? More than enough. Walks? More than a normal courtship can have. Tea and biscuits? More than you should have eaten.
You had scratched your forehead as you stared at the figure of Lord Coxingworth making his way to his carriage. The third talk of the week and you have learnt all the right things. All the proper ones. Benedict would have never.
"Stop it" you whispered as you shook your head, comparison cannot bring anything good, both are different and oh yes quite different "Ugh" you chastised yourself because your mind was going in circles "It is temporary," you said "My courses," you said looking at your dress, underneath "It might be that"
You were the most sentimental when your courses were expected. Indeed that was it, it is a good friendship and shall not be confused with anything more.
“Miss Ashbourne” the sound of Sarah appeared with a knock “an urgent note for you, from Eloise Bridgerton”
When you opened the small squared note you saw her handwriting in the fashion of urgency as she said “Let us exchange some judgemental words about the world. We should talk”
A sudden fear came to you, she knows. How could she? Benedict told her. How could he? No, he couldn’t.
You make no haste to walk out with Sarah by your side as you make your way to the park. It was a lovely day, the sun was out and there was no wind at all. The park was crowded and yet Eloise was easy to find, you knew where she would be, she loved the bridge and the pond.
“There you are future Lady Coxingworth or Marquise Ashdown”
“You should have brought swimming attire, it could have been the most useful when I threw you to the pond”
She smiled, her cheeks had the most beautiful glow as she gave you a hug and then proceeded to sit on the bridge. You sat beside her and let the sun hit your face and for a moment the focus was on another Bridgerton.
However, the crisp of the day proved to be more equipped than you two and so you decided to escort Eloise to her house. The grandiose of it always made your eyes soft.
“Well come on for a small refreshment and then you part” she offered and you accepted
And while walking inside the pastel drawing room you spotted the nape of Benedict as he kept reading the journal of the day.
“A bit late to read news is it not?”
He turned around from the soft couch and smiled at you “not at all, for me is morning still”
“Yes brother we all know you didn’t sleep last night”
Your stomach made a turn, why he didn’t sleep? Was he perhaps talking to someone?
“I have a commission coming next week and the deadline is approaching so I stayed awake working on the details and then I forgot it was morning already when I started drawing and... well it is done and here I am reading the news of the day with a headache” he closed the journal and stared at you “Miss Ashbourne, how are you this fine morning?”
You snorted, your morning was hours ago “Good thank you, the most wonderful morning” you followed the game “I came from the pond with Eloise”
“I have painted that” he commented “You’ll find a very badly angled canvas by the entrance"
“it is not bad, Benedict” Eloise said
“My profes-“
“Forget about art school, I can’t believe that you follow their word. Today’s art is bland like fish for breakfast”
He chuckles as you see their banter “They do have excellent points to give”
“And I am far from interested in them”
“What about you, Miss Ashbourne?”
“Me?”
“Interested”
In what? On who? You asked for yourself
“Well-“
“That is a yes” he stood up “sister would you mind…?”
“We have been walking and standing most of the afternoon, brother. She might be tired”
“Let her speak then”
Both pairs of eyes landed on you, how could you avoid a private chat with Benedict? Your heart was not prepared.
He offered his arm and you took it. Both of you walked downstairs, the colours of the sunset settling outside the majestic house.
“My mother has ordered them to hang every single painting I have made. Quite adamant I had to be with her for her not to hang my five-year-old pieces”
You laugh softly as the image comes to mind. “I would not blame her. Eloise is right”
“Hmmm”
“I am sure that professor had good points but art has proven to be the most emotional is it not?”
“Your point?”
“That one cannot structure emotions. One cannot compare the same canvas with the other one as if they were similar. They are not, they hold different emotions and perspectives.”
You stopped as Benedict looked at one of his paintings hanging on the wall. The fruit bowl had the most detail you have ever seen.
“You speak like a true artist,” he said still fixated on front
“I might not be one for the brush and paint but I do know other things”
He quickly turned “Like what?”
You instantly blushed. You were not going to start reciting mathematics or philosophy. So you shrugged in silence which made him smile.
“What about that stolen poetry book?”
“Oh” he remembered “in my room”
“Yeah? Well I don’t mind for a new poem today”
You snorted “I shall go, it’s getting quite dark outside and my mo-“
“I believe you don’t remember that for me is morning now”
You dropped your shoulders at the still childish game “Is it?”
“Oh it is”
“So on this fine morning” you smiled “you want me to fetch my book and come back so I can read one more poem?”
“Yes, after you have followed your pius girl routine”
“Meaning?”
“Aren’t you going to bathe?” He smirked as you slapped him with your hand“And eat with your mama and then prepare for bed?”
“Yes… I should do that” you whispered
“Come here before you sleep and read to me. I am not a stranger after all”
His smile and the glint of mischievousness were the things that made you follow that routine in its perfection.
The bathing went fast as the soapy rose water left your skin glistening, the dinner made your stomach fill and by the end when your mother said good night and your lady left you alone, you took the green robe by the end of your bed and did the most silent walk ever.
You walked with your velvet slippers and swayed across the gardens careful of not being noticed and minutes later you knocked softly on the window you knew the art studio was in.
It made you giggle, the thought of using the back door like any other servant. Such a sneaky way, such adrenaline of doing something like this and unaccompanied. If Lady Whistledown could see you now, tomorrow you were sure there will be a paper with only your name on it.
“You are late,” he said
“I am not, I did my things fast” you argued getting inside where the kitchens are “You have lost your sense of time today”
You didn't bother to close the door because it would have made a sound. The kitchens were empty and the only light that could be seen was the candle by the countertop.
"So which one would you read to me?" He said behind you
You turned seeing his face slightly darkened “Patience, let me sit down at least”
“You make me wait like a child”
“Are you not that?” You coyly smiled while walking to his studio, you knew above you the Bridgertons were sleeping and that only increased the adventurer within you. And when you entered, the same smell filled your lungs, you moved the robe and sat down on the maroon couch. You watched intently as Benedict eagerly closed the door and tried to move all the cluttered brushes and boxes.
You felt your body tense as he walked past the sofa and picked a book. You didn’t want to ask what the book was and why the sudden interest. You watched as he turned around with the book open.
“And what is that?” You questioned
“My own journal, I want to see if the poem will spark any sort of inspiration… for a painting”
“Very well” You nodded ready to split the book in your hands and ready but his hand as soft as a pillowcase stopped yours
“Forgive me, do you need something to drink?” He asked and saw the thoughts in your eyes “Perhaps something stronger than milk?”
“Brandy you mean?”
He shrugged “If you want a sip I can give you from mine”
“I am not a child. I am a woman”
“I know”
“Then I want a glass, a quarter of what you normally drink”
“Your wishes are commands, my lady, let me get us something and you shall begin reading while I look for it, yes?"
"Yes"
The candle by his desk was enough for you to see how he stood up and went to the corner where the brandy and the cups were. You opened the book on a different page and you adjusted your eyesight.
“I got it”
“Tell me the name” he ordered still pouring some brandy into what you believe is his glass
“Beneath the Velvet Veil”
“Ooooh” he remarked “beneath… the velvet rail. Do you believe is about what lies beneath a woma-“
“Benedict” you said harshly “not everything has to be about women”
“I disagree but please” he returned with the glasses and offered one “One sip before you start”
The smell of alcohol made your nose wrinkle nevertheless, you drank from the glass and let the liquor slip through. The burn in your throat made your eyes watery and it made you cough a little, the sweetness of it however made you feel more awake.
“Good?”
“Quite” You took another sip out of bravery and tasted it better, your eyes, suddenly fixated on the poem started to scan the first line
"Beneath the Velvet Veil"
Beneath the velvet veil of night,
Where shadows whisper, hearts take flight,
A silent war of classes rages on,
As dreams of change are fiercely drawn.
In cobblestone streets where lanterns glow,
The cries of the oppressed begin to grow,
Against the tyranny of wealth and power,
They yearn for justice in the midnight hour.
With fervent hearts, they take a stand,
United voices across the land,
For a world where privilege has no reign,
And every soul may dare to dream again.
Oh, let the winds of change arise,
And lift the veil from blinded eyes,
For in the hearts of those who fight,
Lies the dawn of a new, just light.”
Benedict blinked twice and rapidly formed a smile on his face “This one here can spark a revolution”
“It takes more than one poem to do so"
"True," he said drinking again "but it takes a poem with such desire to stir some passion in people" he leaned back and grunted "Does it say which year was published or at least... bind together?"
You quickly scanned it "No, there's nothing else"
"It can't be more than a few years old I assume, so whatever the fight this poem was trying to build... it failed" he snorted "We are still the same"
"Unequal wages outside London" you rapidly added "Social reputation as a means to oppress..." you sighed
Benedict curved his lips at the so sudden but so true comments coming from your mouth "You say it with such experience"
"I am a woman in society, Benedict"
"And a lovely one"
You blushed at his words, not the compliment that was given, but the way his voice was, a soft low tone as if he was singing and that made you stare at his lips for a second until you distracted yourself with one final sip of the fruity brandy.
"Thank you, what I mean is that I do know things"
He moved fast on his spot trying to stare at you "Yes you have said so already... please tell me, what are these precious things you know?"
You laughed and shrugged "A lot, Sciences, languages, music, social sciences"
Benedict snored and smiled "You are boring me"
You opened your eyes and took your hand and tried to pinch his arm "I am an accomplished lady. I am also quite observant"
"Are you?" he questioned, "are you really?"
"What does that mean?"
"Do you have an inkling of a clue as to why I have not slept?"
"Because you were working?"
"Partially" he took his hand and ruffled his messy strands of hair "That damned painting, the commission is taking longer"
"Because you can't sleep," you said
"No, because..." he dropped his shoulders and drank the whole glass "Because my thoughts are somewhere else"
You blinked slowly at his words "Are you well? I know a good doctor that-"
"I am well"
"But then what is it that is making your thoughts wonder?"
He licked his lips as the brownish liquid slipped through "You"
You swallowed as your throat went dry and as much as the fire within you wanted you to act confident... you just tried to be absorbed into the cushion as if you were retracting yourself.
Benedict took the silence as his turn to keep talking so he moved closer and rested his chin on the back pillow "Be so kind as to tell me how is it that inspiration works?"
what kind of question was that? you asked yourself and you again shook your head in silence.
He opened his mouth "Because I was alright before returning to London. It has been two months since the season started and look at me" he snorted "I had a good smear of inspiration given by Aubrey Hall and its landscape. I come here and start talking to you again as we have done so for years but this time my inspiration fades away"
You frown, an honest confused frown "Bu-"
"Oh do not give me that face, Miss Ashbourne" he gulps "You are aware of what you have been doing, are you not?"
"If you say I am responsible for your inspiration fading away..." you blinked "I don't kn-"
"It faded, yes but only for it to move all over you" he whispered and looked into your eyes
You gasped, your breath suddenly short and your chest tight. The words inked deep now in your mind and heart.
"I am not joking, it is true" he scratched his chin "It is the most confusing thing ever because..." he snorted "I cannot stop thinking about your face or about you wholly and it is more confusing because I know I started seeing you in other colours since last season"
"But I was only-"
"Twenty years of age I know. A part of me tries to conceal that because I may be bold but not to that level yet I am honest and I had to tell you that"
You gulped.
"I often question my reason and told myself that we have not been together enough and that this.... in me" he touched his chest "Is just transitory"
You blinked at that, it is exactly what you have told yourself "I..." you said "I thought so too"
"Have you? And what conclusion did you arrive at?"
It was your time to talk so you clenched your legs and crossed your ankles trying to be straight as you said it "That..." you smiled "that there have been enough talks and enough walks and enough... secret readings for this to arise in us"
"Us?" he said "I was merely talking about me... do you mean you have felt it too?"
"Since last year" you whispered, your eyes fixated on him. His eyes widened.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because it is improper, not that I have ever cared about that, but... as you said I was twenty"
"Right"
"I didn't want to believe it" you confessed "So I have been ignoring it"
"Did it work? Because my trials have failed if I could tell you what I have done, what I have thought"
For a second, or more than that, between your legs, you felt a tingling that made you gulp "What?"
"What?"
"What have you thought?" the question came too suddenly but by the look of it you could not retract it at all
"Things about you that should not be thought"
"What kind of things?" you insisted, the fire within you made you feel alive "Tell me"
Benedict touched his face and looked at you, you saw a hint of fear in his eyes as he opened his mouth
"Tell me" you insisted "If we have already confessed, what are the odds of doing it again?"
"A lot, Miss Ashbourne"
"I don't mind"
"Well" he laughed nervously "I..." he rapidly moved on the couch, he leaned to you, quite closely to your figure retracted on the corner of the couch "You must wash my mouth with soap after telling you this"
"I can take it, I assure you"
"I..." his lips opened, a soft and pinky pair of lips, you wondered if they would taste the same way his brandy did "I have seen you naked"
You frowned "Naked?
"In my mind, I have formed you. I have used what I know to construct that image. I..." he looked down at your white sleeping gown "I have seen your arms, the crease of your elbow and forearm. I have seen your neck and your shoulder blade and I remember when I saw your ankles once" he shrugged "Forgive me but as an artist, I must use any resources to form a muse"
"What else have you seen?" you asked in a whisper, you could smell the brandy out of your mouth too
"I have seen your chest, only the beautiful way the collarbone curves, and I have imagined the shape of your breasts... I have imagined the curves of your belly, your waist and hips and... your thighs and" he bit his lip as his eyes looked at your covered legs "and the rest"
Your mouth gaped and felt the air in the studio become thick and hot "Oh"
"Yes, forgive me"
"Don't" you whispered, the heat from your body becoming unbearable
"And..." he added, his face closer "I have used you in my mind with the purpose of-"
"Painting?" you asked
This time Benedict squinted his eyes and then stared at you "Not quite. It feels like a puzzle"
"How so?"
"I had it almost built with everything I know about you. I am sure I could write a book about your person and you won't know how I know those things yet I miss some pieces that I know I should be patient getting them" he slowly shook his head "And you?"
"Me?"
"Have you thought of me?"
"A little"
"More than a little?" he smiled
You were sure he was testing your level of knowledge. And indeed your level is high. You know the human male form if that is what he is asking. Have you thought of him in such state?
"I have wondered..." you murmured "What is about your lips that are always so... rosy?"
Benedict smiled "Do they look inviting?" he said leaning closer
For once you did not retract more into the couch, not that you could more. You took a breath and said "I don't know"
"Would you like to know?"
"Benedict"
"I am only asking"
"What else would you do if I said yes?"
"Taste yours in return"
Your lips parted and you were not able to speak. He was staring at you in a way that made your whole body tremble, the tingle in your belly becoming an actual throb between your legs.
"Miss Ashbourne"
"Mr. Bridgerton"
"Do I have to spell it out? I want to kiss you"
"Why?"
"Because I have been waiting a long time to do so"
"You said we are friends, friends don't kiss"
"Friends don't confess either but here we are" he moved a bit more, his lips only a few inches from yours "I need to know how is it that the world makes sense, how is it that I can have the inspiration that has left me in such a long time. Is it all the alcohol or is it you? You are the answer, right?"
"I don't know"
"Can I find out?"
"Please do"
The words made his heart flutter and the air became thick, his lips touched yours and it was like an electric shock. You felt the room spinning in darkness as you closed your eyes. You felt the softness of his lips against you and quite indeed the fruity lingering of brandy. It was the perfect mix of both. The kiss grew the opposite of chaste. The feeling was so overwhelming and you felt like Benedict was going to consume you and the most curious thing is that you were willing.
You felt his ample hand touching your back and pushing you against him and that made the kiss grow wild. You moved your head and let the passion guide the kiss. The world made sense like this and still, it made no sense at all.
"Y/N" he whispered between the kiss and moved to your cheek and kissed behind your ear
"What?"
"You have freckles here," he said and kissed your skin "Here" another kiss and another "and here. It is like admiring a masterpiece no one has ever left you get near before"
You grew impatient for how many words were coming from his mouth when he could have been kissing you more. You searched for his lips and found them in a latch that made him growl and move his tongue to play with yours. You were so lost in his kiss that the feeling in your stomach grew and grew and was about to explode.
Benedict's hands moved to the side of your hip and then the top of your thigh where he squeezed. A gentle moan escaped your lips, and he swallowed it.
"You are a dream," he said between kisses "A beautiful and vivid dream"
"And you are a madman"
"Perhaps," he said and pressed his lips to yours once more, the kiss was different, his lips moved to yours and it was as if he was trying to memorize every single spot. You felt your whole body reacting and it was becoming hard to breathe.
The feeling was so strong that it was unbearable. The tingling turned into a throb and it was making you lose control, your hands fought with your mind as if they needed to pull the skirt of your gown and touch yourself.
"You taste better than the finest whiskey," he said as his mouth moved to your neck. Your head fell back and gave him more access to your skin.
"Benedict" you whispered
"I love how you say my name. You always have so many things to say" he kissed deeply on your gentle skin "but now you only say my name"
How can this night end? So many scenarios ran through your mind but alas the wetness of his mouth made the rest disappear.
He pressed his body against you and his hand moved to your knee. A small moan escaped your lips and it made him look into your eyes.
"What is the matter?"
"N-nothing"
"It is something. Did I hurt you?"
"No"
"Then what?"
"I..."
"Y/N" he whispered
"I don't know how can this... be... grow more than a kiss"
He saw the innocence of your statement, of course, he could never compare you to the other women he has met. They knew with exactitude how this could "grow" and yet you, a different golden fruit in front of him were questioning whether a kiss is already what means intimacy.
"It can" he gulped seeing your shining eyes "It definitely can"
"How"
"I cannot show you now, my dear"
"Why?"
"Because I don't trust myself"
"But-"
"I want you, Y/N. Not only your mouth but all of you" he moved his hand and cupped your face "I cannot show you this tonight but if you will give me the chance, I promise I will do my best"
"To what?" your question carried a heavy responsibility in its meaning
"To..." he snorted "do something. I don't know" he laughed "Close that robe of yours and I shall accompany you to your house. You ought to sleep now"
"Impossible"
"Do your best" he kissed your forehead "Let's go"
The night was quiet, and as he held your hand and guided you through the back gardens of the other houses you kept yourself in silence. The soil under your slippers was not there you were sure. As if you were floating.
"Go on then," he said pointing at the backdoor "Be a good girl and sleep"
Suddenly the wetness you felt between your legs came back "Right... shall I see you tomorrow?"
He took your hand and placed a finger but he stole a very haste kiss from your lips. A grin on his face as you smiled inr return at the stolen kiss "You will"
"And the day after?"
"Of course"
"And the one after that"
"You are being too greedy but I'll say yes because it is you"
You nodded and turned the knob of the back door but a hand turned you gently away from it "Yes?"
Benedict stood there like a child. He was silent and then he softly smiled "Nothing, go on you, sneaky girl. Next time don't even bother bringing that poetry book. We won't need it"
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brittlebutch · 6 months
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it's actually so fascinating to me that Brennan has created a character that maintains a pretty relaxed and mild-mannered demeanor and has said multiple times that the absolute Core of her is "FEAR" and how often we see this Fear manifest specifically in Avoidance; it really nails a relationship to that mentality where your brain fully Stops recognizing the emotion properly out of like, sheer self-defense from the stress of having to carry it all the time
I think this is also perfectly showcased in the way we tend to see Tula swing so suddenly from 'level and steady' to 'snarling Panic' and then back again - Just because your brain has detached itself from the Conscious Recognition of the emotion doesn't mean it can Actually stop itself from experiencing it. So the Fear is always there and always acting as a stressor, but because of that inability to Identify it there's no way to recognize or address it before that final straw hits and your bodymind jumps Straight into Full Meltdown Mode; but then once again, once you drop even a Little bit below that Peak Terror your brain ceases to process the emotion; it's like the most exhausting form of Poor Object Permanence in the world
And even if Tula is aware of this happening to her, that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with / address. Even if you're able to spot the symptoms Around the emotion -- chest pain, irritation, nausea, whatever -- because the Emotion Itself is basically impossible to find, you can't really Successfully Pin Down what the problem is OR a way to cope with it. If you can't figure out That You Are Anxious, then figuring out What Is Making You Anxious is impossible, which makes Find A Way To Make Peace With That incomprehensible. That's where the Avoidance comes in: you can no longer identify what might be a Dangerous Situation, which means that Anything New has a big potential to be Really Bad in a variety of ways (ranging "I don't Feel Good" to "Fully Lashing Out bc you've entered Fight/Flight and can't get out of it" to "Actual Outside Danger This Time") and that means the Only Way you know how to be Safe is to just Avoid Doing Anything New and Only stick to Familiar Situations, because anything unfamiliar is a monster of a gamble you don't know how to prepare for or cope with
#N posts stuff#one could argue ‘we see tula worry a lot tho’ but that’s bc Worry is an Action that can occur Separately from Recognizing Anxiety#now that I know tumblr will put a hard cap on your tags w/o telling you i'm resigning myself to posting rambling meta in post body#but i'm not happy about it; anyway i love how often life is full of Coincidences bc this is something I've Finally identified in myself#like. This Month. like this is brand new articulation for some of the problems i have in life; again knowing this doesn't help lmao#bc even when you know to look Around the shape of the emotion - like 'oh my face is Snarling rn. i'm probably experiencing Something'#like i said bc you don't know What that something is OR What might have caused it then the only solution you Ever get to come up with#is just 'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else' which INVARIABLY means that you will wind up in that same situation again#and Still have no idea how to handle it bc you never could figure out what caused it so you don't know how to handle it any better than#'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else'; so 'be somewhere else' is the ONLY way you can ever think to Help it#which usually invariably turns into 'Just Avoid Fucking Everything just in case'; which doesn't work! bc life doesn't let you do that#so then it's just a cycle of falling into the same pitfalls and feeling miserable all the time; gotta love it :)#if you're like me this also gives you Bad Bad Bad Memory bc your brain will Promptly hide evidence of Scary Situation instinctively#like 3 weeks ago this dude ran a red light and almost t-boned me Full Speed & managed to stop like. maybe 3 feet away.#and i like. Startled Laughed and said 'that was scary' and then within 30 seconds i had Fully Forgotten it happened & only remembered#like 2 days ago. Ha! believe it or not this Does Not Help with 'How can I Address the Problem instead of Avoiding It Entirely?'#dimension 20#d20: stupendous stoats#tula#d20lb
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anotherpapercut · 9 months
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smth that I've found difficult in navigating life as an autistic adult is that I don't want to be infantilized, like I want/need to be viewed as a full adult, but sometimes my needs seem childish to people. so like I fight to be taken seriously but then when I do actually need help I can't get it because only a child would need it and I should be able to handle if I really want to be viewed as an adult
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adore-gregor · 27 days
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my football team is so hopeless
#not dortmund lol i mean the club i play at myself#it makes me want to quit ngl#there are just so many things i'm fed up with#at times it's not fun anymore#i like playing football but there's just a lot wrong with this team#but i'm mostly just hanging around because i don't want to let my coach down like he cares and genuinly seems like a good coach#the only thing which gives me a bit of hope#and i hate letting people down 😅 that and also i hate giving up#but i have never seen a team more hopeless or felt more hopeless playing a sport 😅#and he apparently thinks i'm kind of important to the team which i kind of get but also it doesn't really make a difference...#we're just so hopeless i can’t turn this around lol#i always start and i hope it continues but there's not much i can do#we just have too many people who don't care last match so many have given up#some of our team just refuse to run or move at some point it's awful#like why can't you try#we always loose so high like what's the point but still don't give up#besides that the endurance (and also sprint speed) of most is awful which could be trained to a point#but whenever the coach tries to do that almost no one shows up 💀#and i usually play wing or outside midfielder but i'm supposed to also be a defender apparently what#whenever we get a goal on my side and i'm not back in defence someone moans at me like that's my fault#i get working back but i can’t be everywhere especially when some people don't move#and i actually try to get the ball foreward or try to get the ball back in the front because i don't give up when we're behind#i want to score goals and not settle with loosing and only sit back to do defence anymore#naturally there will be open spaces when i try to do that but how is giving up better even when it's hopeless we could still try scoring#and i can't be everywhere they should try my position they would never last 90min running like i do#besides i'm already exausted each week from my training before like i do sports 2-3 hours 6 or 7 days a week#unfortunately i have to because once again i'm trying some entrance exam (for sports to become a teach in sports and english hopefully)#asides from that i don't like most of the people at my club 😅 it feels a bit like highschool again and i didn't like highschool#so many are ignorant and judgemental#like the girl i told you about with her comment about the cleaning lady instead of wanting to clean up her stuff herself 🙄
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#guess who fucking fried 3 very fucking expensive machines today. me. i did#bc a fucking cabled decided to burn out and there was only one little symptom so i switched out the sensor head and inadvertently fried#another instrument. then when i was wait. hang on wtf happened here? and i was trouble shooting. i fried another one. so im down to one#machine. fucking holy christ. one mother fucking cable. a problem i cant fucking control and then i just fucking spred the problem#god dammit. which means i either have to do 20 additional days or we cut the number of reps to 7 or 8#and because of this. ive Disrupted the plans of 4 different labs bc it takes at least 3 months for them to do calibration#ugh. i was so angry. whatever. its fine. these things happen in labs and u kinda just have to deal with it. i dont really feel bad on a#personal level bc ive been working with these things for like 4 years and if i mishandled the problem something was pretty fucked up#bc ive fixed a lot of fucking problems on those machines. bleh. and as im like simmering with rage my family is texting eachother like#yayyy vacation soon ☺️#ugh. its just so frustrating bc i onlu had like 7 days left and i could have got thru all 10 reps. its gonna b maddening on one machine#ans ill have to do more when i fucking get back from vacation when i want it fucking done now but whatever ive bought#my fucking plane tickets and i leave in less than 2 weeks. plus ill get to spend at least one day at home#god im gonna be such a fucking bummer tho. im gonna get of the plane and my fam will b like how r u? and im gonna b like not fucking great#i am barely a functional person and im sure ill b so stressed abt thr fact i have to come back here that ill b on edge the whole time bc#thsts what happened over winter break. whatever. next weekend ill b fucking outta here for like 11 days#and just a few more months until i can leave for good. never walk into thst fucking building again. not that i have anything ready for thst#move. bc again. im barely a functional person#god. now i have to fucking ask for thr stupid bottom of the chamber for this last machine. i swear to christ if i have to fucking drive#down to [redacted] i fucking dont even kno#unrelated
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segernatural · 7 months
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hmm
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bunnyb34r · 2 years
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6th day in a row let's gooo
Rise and grind 😩
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head hurty
#not any more like that but last night#love having a pain condition triggered partly by anxiety but also it caused the anxiety to be constant in the first place#i dont get chronic migraines bc i dont get them often enough its usually like 1 every 2 months nowadays but sometimes it can be 4 in a week#bc having one makes it more likely i have a another soon after#but i sure as fuck have acute migraines#i remember being in school and classmates being like oh i have a migraine going off to take their meds and then coming back to class?!#whereas as soon as i had an aura id go to the office and be like can you call my mum she needs to take me home#and i thought i was just being weak and i should just push through it#but you can't push through acute pain nausea vomiting and disorientation#there are literally parts of my brain or thoughts i can't access during one ill be trying to think of a word and i can't find it#they usually only last like 2-3 hours but it feels like a lot longer when you're sitting in the dark can't even lie down feeling like hell#and ik some peoples go on for days some people have them more days than they dont ik im lucky to have such short and fairly infrequent ones#but its still beyond horrible and feeling like a ticking time bomb constantly watching out for an aura#and worrying about going somewhere you can't easily get home from#and I've only just started to be able to talk about it i could never understand how other people could talk about theirs flippantly#when mine terrified me more than anything the amount of bad feelings#but she's working on it having realised after 8 years that it doesn't have to be like that 🤣#mine#n e way sorry for the rsnt all good now chillin in bed ✌🤣
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sluttyten · 2 years
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Love finding out that the girl I closely worked with for a few hours yesterday tested positive for Covid last night
#not totally surprising bc right now we have several people out with Covid#but like really 😭😭#of course I DO NOT want to have Covid but at the same time I’m like….. then I get 5 days off#but then our opening and mid shift is totally fucked#because it’s 3 of our mid shift people and a manager that are currently out#and it gets worse because my absolute favorite manager just told me that she might be leaving#and then I’m assuming the other girl that I love working with is gonna get promoted to manager#and I don’t really want to be a manager bc I like the hours I’m working and as a manager I couldn’t be working those#so like idk I think if the position was offered to me again I might take it#but also if 2/4 of my favorite people are managers who are never on shift with me anymore#if 1/4 of my favorites only works three days a week and is only ever in the back prepping things so I hardly get to see her#and then the last 1/4 is leaving us (bc of a promotion that I’ll be mad if she doesn’t actually take it/get it bc it’ll be so good for her)#then like……. I don’t see why I should stay here#I’ve been looking for a reason to leave for the last like 3 years (for perspective I’ve worked here for like 3years and 4 months)#and having none of my favorite coworkers with me anymore might just be that reason#and I’ll go work at like Barnes and noble or something bc I was there yesterday and I love books and the employees seem like good people and#I feel like I could do that#that was the first place I applied for a job and I either didn’t answer the phone when they called me back after my interview or I just#never got a call back#anyway……. I feel like this is enough of my ranting of my concerns for the day#I came up with a new fic idea! so that’s interesting#it’s not related to any of this don’t worry…. it is based off a Disney movie I love though and it will probably be about mark or xiaojun#and I was about to write more about it in my drafts before my favorite manager came to talk to me on my break
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helianskies · 1 year
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finished our work week with our usual pow-wow of 'here's what our focuses were and what we've achieved' and bearing in mind i wasnt in on tuesday when these focuses are set and never committed myself to a task, ive managed to leave work feeling shit for not doing something i was meant to do. because apparently we admins were going to focus on chasing up information by phone since it's the school break and no calls have been made this week. well. if i had known that was what someone wanted me to do that's what i would have done. but instead, i was busy correcting other people's mistakes, fixing my own mistakes, juggling email queries, emailing people for info in between my usual tasks because i can't always make a phone call because that takes time away from my daily checks, checking data reports, being trained on new systems, liaising with another team to help them sort out interviews, and so on. and guess who was at work during that tuesday meeting and clearly said 'oh yeah we'll carry on with email failure chasing' and didn't make a single call this week. i dont care if he is part time. he still works 3 days. i have been fixing HIS little errors. HIS 'i didnt listen during our training a month ago and am not following procedure' moments. it's been a really shit week. i was not making calls yesterday because i was in such a foul mood and couldnt snap out of it and did not want to come across as rude on the phone, and they all know that - i made that quite clear. but i feel thrown under the bus. i've now set aside 2 hours on monday to do all the calls that we should have done in the last few days. we'll see if it's just me making them. and we'll see if my managers still think ive still 'disappointed' them. fuck.
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pepprs · 2 years
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literally the only reason i am not in as bad a mental health place as i was in in december is bc i’m done w school now and i never have to go back or deal with being a student again if i don’t want to and also bc i know there is a high likelihood that there are some big important helpful highly desired changes on my horizon in the next few months and years. but i am really not doing good right now
#purrs#scotus leaked draft + buffalo shooting + dallas shooting + uvalde shooting + monkeypox + covid cases rising + losing my last 3 weeks of#college and graduation + losing my freedom for who knows how long and moving back home + friends and family getting covid + pushing myself#to the limit finishing my capstone + watching my loved ones suffer with the situations in their own lives = is it ethical to bring children#into this world is it reasonable to think that i will one day live with autonomy again and find a romantic partner and have a pet and enjoy#my life and see all the people i love doing the same. all ive been able to do this week outside of finishing school my job application etc#is doomscroll about the shootings and covid and monkeypox when i really should be doomscrollimg through my fucking save tag that i curated#specifically to counteract these situations and give me reasons to find hope but i don’t have the strength or see the point bc im only gonn#lose the hope again. but i know there’s a point but i can’t get myself to see it and maybe it’s bc km just so exhausted but idk. and one of#the WORST parts of this is that if the job works out i am going to have to understand that people will look at me differently part of which#means that people — STUDENTS like i just was 2 days ago!!! — will look to me expecting that i have answers or at the very least hope and i#literally do not have hope right now and after national events this month i don’t know if i’ll ever feel hope again. so it’s like fuck i#wont be able to do my fucking job that i feel called to do and want to do more than anything lol. but i already won’t be able to do it bc t#the chances that i can go to [insert convferwrnce] when it involves being on a plane and navigating people who won’t wear masks are so low#and * already snarked about it to me yesterday which really hurt my feelings like i don’t think she was trying to be mean but it’s like yes#the fuck i can hide in the van forever i do NOT want to get covid. but i also do not want to miss [conference] and it’s just so stupid that#im going to have to keep making these choices because this nightmare country has decided covid doesn’t exist anymore. idk lol#i know everything in my life could be a lot worse and also that it is objectively WORLDS better than it was very recently bc i graduated an#im done now. but this month has sucked so unbelievably bad and June is also going to be hard and im just scared i will never be happy or#hopeful again or that every time i am something new will knock it down (which is a given living in the usa lol) and that it would be#unethical to try to do the BASIC bare minimum things i have always wanted to do in my life. lole#negative tw#ask to tag#abortion tw#shooting tw#mass shooting tw#monkeypox tw
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be-good-to-bugs · 6 months
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please PLEASE let this day be OVER NOW
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cravetive · 3 months
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𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗗
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✩。 Pairings: Neighbor!Jungkook x Fem!reader
✩。 Synopsis: Y/n didn't think testing out a new sex toy would cause so much havoc but no worries, her next-door neighbor Jungkook doesn't mind lending her a bit of assistance.
✩。Warnings: Smut! cussing, mentions of masturbation, spanking, doggy style, sex in a public place, unprotected sex (sigh), teasing, creampie, rough sex, pinning, sex toys, sweat and other bodily fluids, a bit of exhibitionism i guess (elevators have cameras), sexual frustration, consensual sex, if you're reading this for the plot don't, there is no plot.
✩。 Authors Note: lord give me one chance, one chance is all i need.
✩。 Word Count: 5.k
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“Are you using it right now?”
“Yes, it’s a bit uncomfortable, to be honest.”
“Omg! Are you in public?!”
“I just made a quick run to the convenience store for a few snacks.”
“Oh, you’re brave” Mina, Y/n’s friend spoke through the phone that was pressed between her ear and shoulder. Y/n sighed, grabbing a bottle of water and making her way to the front of the store. “it’s in low mode anyways, it just feels like I’m riding the bus on an unpaved street” Y/n laughed whilst placing her items onto the counter for the cashier to scan.  
“I've never had anyone try it out in public, this is exciting!” Y/n rolled her eyes and scanned her card, grabbing her receipt and bag before stepping out of the convenience store and into the scorching sun of July.
“Relax I’ll be home in like 3 seconds” Y/n huffed, wiping some of the sweat beaming on her forehead. Having been locked in her air-conditioned apartment for the last 2 days had caused her to forget the heat wave that had taken over the city in the last week and it didn’t matter that she was wearing her shortest summer dress because she felt like she was boiling alive.
“Okay, just remember you can change the motions and speed on the app, but I would recommend you start off slow so that you can adjust” Mina spoke urgently on the phone, but Y/n could only focus on her apartment building as it came into view, her flip flops dragging against the pavement as she took hurried steps. “Yes, yes just know that you owe me big time!” Y/n yelled into the phone.
Y/n wasn’t experimental in any aspect of her life, she liked what she liked, and she knew what she didn’t. Her life was simple, boring as Mina would describe it, but she preferred it that way, it had worked out for her, and she didn’t see the need to stray from it. which had only made her that much more apprehensive when Mina came to her with the proposition of testing out one of the new sex toys her company was developing.
Y/n didn’t like the idea at all, and she had even readied herself to decline but upon noticing the desperation in Mina’s eyes that late afternoon she just couldn’t bring herself to say no. Y/n first-handedly witnessed how hard Mina had worked on this project and she couldn’t be the reason behind its failure which had led her to reluctantly accept. It had only taken 4 days for the package to be delivered to her front door, the small box containing the pink bullet vibrator Mina had designed which was now nestled between her legs.
“I will kiss the ground you walk on after this!” Mina promised on the other end of the call which caused Y/n to laugh as she stepped into her building. her feet shuffled as she leaned forward to tap on the elevator button and She subconsciously pressed her legs together as she stood waiting for the doors to open, the low vibrations from the toy leaving her a bit out of breath.
“Alright, I’ll call you back later on” Y/n huffed which caused Mina to giggle on the other end.
“Hot and bothered already?” Mina joked which caused Y/n’s already flushed cheeks to deepen in color.
“Shut up, it’s the heat” Y/n yelled as she watched the elevator doors open.
“sureeeee” Mina teased which led Y/n to end the call without further explanation.
She stepped into the small space and pressed the button to her floor before standing all the way back into the corner, her back pressed into the mirrored wall behind her. Y/n bit her bottom lip as she watched the elevator doors close slowly. she didn’t understand the buzz behind these sex toys or this market, the bullet wasn’t even doing anything to stimulate her and if she was honest, the vibration alone was starting to irritate her.
Y/n was sure her hand could do a better job.
“Hold it!” a voice shouted which caused Y/n to snap out of her frustrated trance, she reached forward and stopped the doors from shutting. The voice’s owner rushed inside, and Y/n took in his flustered appearance as he turned back to thank her. She recognized him as the man who lived 2 doors away from her and was notoriously known for his loud parties and for the woman who came and went from his apartment. It had been more than a few times she had found herself knocking on his door at 3 am due to the loud music.
And if it wasn’t for the fact that the guy was easy on the eyes she probably would’ve already complained to management.
 His name is Chun-woo? Jungkook? Something like that she thought.
Y/n offered him a small and awkward smile before pressing herself against the wall once again. She rarely ever interacted with any of the residents in the building and today would not be the exception. She was already hot and sweaty and all she wanted to do was to get to her cool air-conditioned apartment and binge on her delicious snacks.
“It’s really hot outside” the man commented, tapping on the button that Y/n had already pressed earlier. She dragged her eyes over to his back and hummed, nodding her head in agreement.
“you’re from apartment 902 right?” He glanced back at her, and she noticed the piercing that wrapped around the end of his bottom lip, she had never stood as close to him to notice it before and for some reason it only made him appear that much more handsome.
“Yeah” she smiled, squirming in the small space in which she stood.
Within the silence that soon overtook the small elevator, she could hear the way the man struggled to catch his breath, having fallen victim to the heat wave outside. His long black hair had stuck to the dampened skin of his forehead and his broad shoulders rose and fell as the elevator began to ascend.
Y/n tried to focus her eyes on the floor beneath her and not on the man who stood there with his back now turned to her but ever so often she would find herself staring at the white loose fitted t-shirt he wore, drenched with his sweat. She also tried to stop herself from biting down on her bottom lip while she noticed the muscles that pressed from the thin material around his shoulders while subconsciously rubbing her legs together.
It was rude to stare, she knew that, but the elevator was so crammed there were only so many alternative places she could look, and he was so tall, so broad and his tattooed arm called for her attention, the intricate colors and patterns leaving her in a trance…she blinked quickly, her cheeks turning crimson from the thoughts flooding through her mind.
She opted to stare at the ceiling instead, noticing the way the bright lights would flicker subtly as the elevator continued to climb levels, and then suddenly there came a pulsation from between her legs, one that was probably already there but she hadn’t been able to notice before. Her eyes widened in horror as her mind registered the cause and her hand reached for her phone in urgency as the small vibrations from the small toy caused a faint sound inside the compact space.
“Do you hear that?” Jungkook spoke, turning to look at a very disheveled Y/n, she looked back to him in pure embarrassment, her fingers frantically searching for the app her best friend had downloaded onto her phone. 
“Mhm? Ah No, I think it’s the elevator” she giggled nervously and Jungkook nodded, biting down on his lip and turning to face the elevator doors once again.
Y/n had forgotten all about the small object that lowly vibrated inside of her, which was now causing her clit to pulsate painfully under her black thong. Her hands shook as she pressed on the pink icon shining through her screen, and her eyes scanned the app quickly trying to find the off button on the small evil little thing stuck inside her pussy.
“fuck” she breathed as sweat beads began to form on her skin.
The panic running through her body didn’t allow her to focus on the small words in front of her, no matter how hard she squinted. Her fingers continued to urgently press against random buttons, trying to shut off the damn thing but all she had accomplished was for it to change motions, going from a light vibration to full-on pumping. She covered her mouth in shock at the new movement and gripped the handrailing on her side for support.
“how the fuck- “she groaned.
“What was that?” Jungkook asked, looking at her through the reflection on the doors and for a moment she loathed how attentive this man was.
Y/n could only shake her head, her hand trembling against her phone while she tried to overpower the sensation taking over her body.
She had underestimated the damn thing, thinking all would be good if she kept it at a low tempo, who even goes to the store with a sex toy in their pussy? She cursed herself for the irrational idea.
She stared at the screen in concentration, soon finding the pulse button and beginning to tap on it frantically but the thing wouldn’t budge and soon she felt the speed increase. Her mouth widened in horror; her eyes fluttered closed as the vibrations rocked through her body in waves and soon her breaths became extremely uneven. She hoped and prayed her neighbor wouldn’t notice but Jungkook watched from the distorted reflection in front of him at how much she struggled to stay still.
She was sure the universe hated her, she must have been paying for some karmic event she had forgotten about because there was no way in hell this was happening to her.
Suddenly almost as if in coordination, the elevator began to tremble underneath her feet and then her eyes opened wide, was this a figment of her imagination? Was this a silly joke being played on her by the gods? Was this punishment for experimenting with her sex life?
The elevator shook uncontrollably causing Y/n to lose grip of the railing, she fell onto the floor with a loud thud, her bag of snacks ripping open and spilling its contents on the floor. The lights above her flickered on and off and then everything stopped.
Her heart, the rocking of the floor, her brain, and even the elevator came to an abrupt halt but not the vibrations between her legs, it was the only thing that remained as her body squirmed on the floor from the pulsations erupting from her clit.  
“What the fuck” Jungkook muttered as he held onto one of the railings, his arms strained with veins running under the skin as he was too shaken by the sudden tremble.
“Did we just have an earthquake?” he exclaimed while his eyes trailed to the spot where Y/n once stood but she was no longer there and then his eyes trailed down, where he found Y/n thrown across the floor along with her snacks. Jungkook let go of the railing and reached for her limp body in an attempt to help her.
“Hey, are you okay?” he asked, taking a step towards her but Y/n squirmed, backing into the wall behind her.
“Hey, relax” he spoke, his voice but a whisper as he grabbed onto her arm and lifted her off from the floor. She whimpered as he brought her back onto her feet, her hands holding onto his forearms for support.
“I think we’re stuck” he concluded, unable to feel the motion of the elevator beneath his feet. Y/n didn’t say a word, afraid that her attempts at speaking would demonstrate the utter pleasure she was in, and she was mortified. Jungkook noticed the way she slightly trembled underneath his touch, her eyes looking up at his in fear and then an urgency to calm her came over him.
“don’t worry, we can just call someone to help us” he removed his eyes from the agitated woman and scanned the panel at the side of the door, reaching to tap on the red button at the very end. Y/n could only focus on 2 things, the wetness that soon pooled through the thin fabric of her panties and the feeling of his hand on her arm.
His hands were big and soft, and she could feel the small callouses on his palm pressing against her skin. She had to get out of this situation and quickly, she could feel the pressure building in her gut and it was familiar to the one she always got when pleasuring herself during late nights.
She was going to come.
She should’ve been focused on the elevator, on trying to get out of the cramped space, and not on coming undone in front of her neighbor from 2 doors down while he held her. She pushed aside her current desires and removed her eyes from Jungkook's hand on her arm. She carefully scanned the floor for her cell phone and once in her view, she bent down to collect it, her hand fumbling with the device as she picked it up from the floor.
When she turned it over, her heart plummeted. The screen had cracked completely, a few pieces of glass missing, and the screen blinked in different colors in front of her. at that very moment, she wished the elevator would plummet down to her death, she gasped for air as the realization hit her that the only other option she had was to remove the little bullet herself, but she couldn’t, she wouldn’t.
What would her neighbor think? She would have to move from the building entirely to escape from the humiliation alone. What would she even say? oh, hey yeah hold on a minute let me remove my SEX TOY from my vagina…she was mortified.
Her attention was drawn back to the elevator in which she stood as a voice appeared from within the small speaker inside the panel and her heart skipped a beat at the sudden relief that someone would come to help her leave this hellish predicament.
“Sun tower, how can we help you?”
“Uh yea, listen we’re stuck in the elevator” Jungkook spoke his hand reaching to wipe away some of the sweat forming on his face.
“Oh yes sir, sorry about that the building has lost power due to the heat but no worries we are working on the issue, and the elevator should be up and running in no time” Y/n groaned in frustration, deciding it would be best to move away from Jungkook’s touch entirely and found her place back to the corner of the elevator.
“How long do you think it’ll take?” Jungkook sighed, growing frustrated with the entire situation.
“Mhmm, it should take about an hour” the person informed.  Y/n jolted in surprise, An hour!? Y/n wouldn’t be able to hold off for an hour. Her legs were trembling, and her heart was beating abnormally fast against her chest. She knew her body and she had a good 5 minutes at best.  She ran to the speaker, attempting to focus on controlling her body as she screamed into it in desperation.
“No sir” she moaned, her teeth coming down to bite down harshly on her lips as she attempted to contain herself “You don’t understand I need to get out of here!” her hands held onto the elevator panel for dear life, and she was almost at the verge of tears. “Sorry ma’am we are doing everything we can” Her breaths were uneven as she retracted from the wall, her hands falling by her sides in defeat.
Jungkook noticed the way she struggled to breathe, her chest heaving as she attempted to bring oxygen to her lungs and his eyes squinted in suspicion.
“Hey, are you okay” he asked again, taking a few steps towards her but Y/n raised her hands, her stare darkened and blurred. “Please just stay on that side” she panted, her legs pressing together once again as she battled with another moan that sat on her tongue.
“Are you claustrophobic?” Jungkook asked and oh how Y/n wished that was the reason her body convulsed in the way it did now, her extremities shaking at the feeling of the sex toy vibrating inside of her.
“I-i” she whimpered, attempting to form words but her brain was too consumed by the pumping between her legs, her hands reaching to force her hips from buckling at the feeling. She promised herself she would never speak to Mina again, this was all her fault, she didn’t even want to do this and now she was masturbating in front of this complete stranger. She leaned over and her mouth fell wide open, a loud yelp falling from within.
“woah” Jungkook rushed to her side, his hands reaching to give her support but that only caused her to shiver, the stimulation of both the toy and the man holding her throwing her into complete disarray.
“What is that buzzing sound?” Jungkook asked again, his eyes falling on the floor in an attempt to find the source, but he was met with bags of chips and bottles of water. He focused his hearing on the sound, it was faint, but it was there, and it was driving him crazy. He followed the sound and once his eyes reached the exposed skin of Y/n legs, he looked up into her eyes in surprise.
She looked back at him in embarrassment, her face reddened in shame as sweat trickled down her forehead. She didn’t have the energy to pretend anymore or to try to explain how she wasn’t a sex addict of some sort, she could no longer control what was happening, deciding that she was no match against the orgasm that would soon rock through her.
“Are you? - “his eyes looked into hers and a moan escaped her lips in response. His body tensed at the realization, but he couldn’t take his eyes off hers, entranced by the way she trembled underneath his hands. “Is that?” he gulped looking back down to her shaking legs.
“ah fuck” Y/n moaned, burying her face into his chest, the action causing Jungkook’s heart to leap out of its position. he should’ve been focusing on the predicament they were in, how it would take an hour for the apartment to get them out of there, how hot it had gotten in the cramped space, but he could only think about the girl who was coming undone in his arms, soft pants and moans erupting from her lips into his chest.
“My phone” she whimpered “Ah my phone is broken” She gripped his arms trying to regain control of her body but it was no use, she had been pushed past her limit and she could feel her arousal drip from between her legs.
Jungkook couldn’t ignore the way her whimpers caused goosebumps on his skin, the way her soft moans called upon his member to rise and press against the fabric of his underwear. It was wrong and he knew it, she was vulnerable and unraveling in front of him, but he couldn’t fight it, he was salivating at the thought of what her pussy would look like underneath the skirt of her dress, he imagined it glistening with her juices as the toy moved inside of her and his dick quivered underneath the constraints of his clothes.
“Can I-? “He whispered his half-lidded eyes glancing into hers with lust and desperation.
“Can I help you?” Jungkook gulped, his body tensing at the question. He wouldn’t be surprised if she pushed him back and screamed at him, in under different circumstances he probably wouldn’t have been so upfront, but they had an hour to kill and it almost pained him to see her like this, the toy not being able to assist her in the way he knew he could.
It took a moment too long for Y/n to realize what he was asking, it was not like she was even in the right state of mind to think over anything at that moment yet, she nodded her head miserably, her eyes shutting as another wave of pleasure ran through her body whilst she permitted him to assist her.
“Shhh don’t worry, I’ll take care of you” Jungkook whispered into her ear which lured a moan out of her lips.
He moved in front of her, and his eager mouth found hers, their lips melting as they slid against each other, Jungkook felt the warmth of her skin as she pressed her body into his and his hands snaked along the fabric of her short dress. She was so complaint, so willing and it was driving him over the edge. He responded by pressing his body against hers and she soon felt Jungkook’s prominent boner against her lower belly.
She wondered how long he had been that hard, how long was he pondering if he could fuck her…Y/n wasn’t like this, she didn’t think about these things, and she also wasn’t often so eager to fuck a stranger in the elevator. She couldn’t control herself; she needed relief, and she needed it fast.
“mm gonna take it out” Jungkook dragged his lips away from hers with a hum and trailed his fingers down to the hem of her dress. Y/n whimpered as he teased her, his fingers hovering over the skin of her thighs which were tightly pressed together in an attempt to stop her wetness from dripping down her legs.
“Is that okay?” Jungkook whispered, staring back into her eyes with hunger and she was sure that look alone was going to have her spazzing in a short moment.
He guided his hand past her thighs, his fingers brushing by the hem of her panties and hooking his fingers along them, Y/n threw her head back in pleasure at the intrusion, her legs shaking beneath her as he played with the lace material that was between his digits.
“p-please” she begged, her body trembling from the mere anticipation.
Jungkook smirked at the sight before him, he loved the control he had, loved the fact that she needed him. he unhooked his fingers and dipped his hand inside her panties, turning it over so that his palm was now facing her sensitive clit and applied just enough pressure to make her squirm.
“Fuck, you’re wet” Jungkook hissed, his lips finding shelter on the exposed skin of her neck.
“p-please” Y/n whimpered, unable to repress the longing from between her legs.
Jungkook dipped his hand down further, finding the toy embedded between her warm walls, and groaned at the feeling of her juices coating his fingers as he slowly extracted the toy from its rightful home. The pink little object vibrated against his hand, and he chuckled lowly at the feeling, Y/n sighed in relief, perhaps thinking that was the end of her torment.
Her pussy pulsated sorely, her mind clouded by the impending climax that pressed down on her gut and she needed it, she needed it badly. She pulled Jungkook closer and crashed her mouth into his with eagerness. She would often hear the screams of pleasure that poured out of Jungkook’s apartment when she walked past his door and right now, she needed him to help her in the same way.
Y/n reached for the strings of his sweatpants and quickly undid the knot there, pulling them down from his waist and then dipping her hand into his underwear where she found his rock-hard cock, painfully quivering against the material. Jungkook groaned into her mouth, his body lurching forward at the sensation of her warm hand stroking him under his Calvin Kleins.
“fuck” he muttered as he pulled away from her kiss, his eyes fluttering close.
“I want to fuck you so bad” he groaned, his hands reaching to caress her breasts through the fabric of her dress.
“Then fuck me” Y/n moaned, and it didn’t take more than a second for Jungkook to turn her around and press her against the mirror of the elevator, his hands moving quickly to pull down her black thong and throwing it across the floor. He parted her legs and Y/n watched from the reflection as he licked his lips in admiration.
She didn’t know what she had gotten herself into and she sure as hell wasn’t prepared but she didn’t care, she needed his cock inside of her walls and that’s all she could think about.
Jungkook pushed down his underwear, exposing his cock as he gave it a few more pumps before aligning himself to her welcoming pussy. He watched her arousal drip from her core, and he whimpered at the sight. it was all that he had expected and more, he slowly dragged the tip of his cock against her wet folds which caused Y/n to yelp, her hands reaching to grip the handrails for support.
They moaned in unison as he entered her walls, her legs bucking as he began to move himself inside of her. Jungkook moved slowly, patiently waiting for her to adjust to his length but the feeling of her walls gripping him tightly like his dick was meant to be there was urging him to lose control and it didn’t help that he had a full view of her ass while his dick retracted from her pussy ever so slightly.
“f-fuck me harder” she moaned, and Y/n was sure she had never used those words before, but it was all the instructions Jungkook needed to pick up his pace. He began to thrust roughly inside of her, his hands coming down to hold her hips in place, keeping her from moving away as he pounded into her. Y/n leaned her head against the mirror, her mouth wide open as whimpers and moans fell from it.
The small elevator was soon filled with the symphony of moans and skin clashing together, Y/n could feel a burning sensation building as Jungkook kept his tempo, his black locks hanging over his face as he continued to ram into her. his hand came down quickly against her ass cheek, leaving a red imprint there and Y/n screamed in excitement.
“look how good you’re taking it” Jungkook moaned as he watched his wet cock retract and enter into her pussy over and over again. he reached underneath where their bodies remained interlinked and pressed the vibrating bullet that was still in his hand against her clit. Y/n yelped; her eyes fluttering shut at the sudden action.
“Come on, be a good girl, you know you can take it” he hummed his eyes taking in the way he was completely destroying her. He removed his other hand from her hip and reached to grab her arms, pulling them behind her back and pinning them tightly together on her lower back. Y/n shrieked in pleasure, sweat dripping down the sides of her face.
Jungkook moved his hips skillfully as he fucked into her, his eyes remaining on the view of her ass trembling as his cock glistened with her juices. It was beautiful and it only made his cock pulse with anticipation. He bit down on his lip as groans poured from his chest. never in a million years did he ever think he would be fucking his neighbor but never in a million years did he ever want to stop.
Y/n felt her clit vibrate against the toy, the nerves there buzzing with enjoyment. Her arousal dripped from between her legs onto the silicone material and down Jungkook’s hand, but he kept it pressed there while he hammered into her. She didn’t know if she liked it rough but whatever it was, he was doing, she wanted him to keep going.  
“Come for me baby” he moaned, licking his lips as if he was tasting her juices in his mouth. “I know how badly you want to come” his hand came down harshly against her ass cheek again and Y/n responded with a yelp. Y/n was bent over, her tits flowing past her dress and her hair a mess, but she could only focus on the feeling of Jungkook’s balls slapping against her clit, the bullet that worked hard to keep up with Jungkook’s thrusts, and the way this man was fucking her into oblivion.
It felt good, fuck that, it felt amazing.
Jungkook plunged into her pussy with such need, with such desire that she was sure he was close to his climax as well. Y/n’s walls clenched around his cock, urging him to come undone inside of her and Jungkook groaned loudly, his hips beginning to move with a mind of their own as he searched for his own relief.
“Ah'm gonna come” Y/n yelled, her legs giving out from under her as they began to tremble, but Jungkook held her, and gave her the support she needed. He pressed her against the mirror and continued his pace, his eyes trailing to the reflection in front of them.
“Look at us baby, look how good you look while I fuck into you” he whispered into Y/n’s ear, his eyes falling on her hooded eyes and reddened cheeks. Her walls were tight and warm, and he knew he wouldn’t last long, his hand fell on her hip once more, gripping it there while he continued to drive into her quickly. Y/n couldn’t take her eyes from his strained arms, the way his veins stuck out from underneath the skin as he gave her his all, it was almost poetic and that’s all it took for her to reach the peak, her body shuddering against the wall and Jungkook’s chest. Y/n couldn’t hear anything, her eyes falling tightly shut as her orgasm rippled through her body. Her senses were completely gone as she tried to control herself and then there was a sudden warmness dripping from her core, it dripped down her legs and onto the floor.
“Fuck, you squirted baby” Jungkook groaned, his hips buckled and with one last hard thrust, he came into her quenched walls. He let out a trail of curse words Y/n couldn’t make out, too stuck on the way she had unraveled.
She had never felt something so euphoric, and she felt guilty about it.
Jungkook removed the toy that had remained pressed against her clit and threw it on the floor beside them. the bullet buzzed and jolted on the floor before turning off. Y/n blinked her eyes open and stared at the floor in shock, the little fucking thing had finally given out after tormenting her for so long, but she was too high off her orgasm, unable to find any other emotion but relief.
She turned over and looked up at Jungkook, his face was flushed just like hers and sweat dripped from his forehead as he adjusted his dick back in his sweats, a small smirk appearing on his face once he glanced back at her. He reached down to grab her thong and assisted her with slipping it back up her legs, his stare remaining on her. He took in how her chest rose and fell with each harsh breath she took. His fingers glided upward against the sides of her legs as he brought her panties back, his hands landing on the sides of her hips before grabbing the hem of her dress and sliding the fabric down to its rightful place.
Y/n was beyond embarrassed and sore, she didn’t know what to say to the man who had just fucked her literally senseless. Thank You? no that was fucking ridiculous. She reached for her bottle of water and extended her arm out to Jungkook, offering him some refreshment, it was the best she could do given the circumstances.
“Here, drink some” she smiled while Jungkook reached for the bottle, removing the cap and bringing it to his lips, taking a large gulp.
“don’t use those stupid toys anymore, next time just knock on my door” Jungkook muttered, passing her the bottle. Y/n nodded biting down on her lip before taking a drink herself.
“Hello! Is everyone okay? we are coming in to get you out” a voice yelled from outside the elevator doors. They both giggled at each other before innocently standing side by side waiting to be freed from the confined space.  
© 𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞, 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.
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