#that gives me ghibli vibes if that makes any sense at all?

[page-matcha]

TXT as studio ghibli characters!

a/n - I was doing a studio ghibli marathon with my friends and thought I'd do this for fun ♡

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Yeonjun - Howl (Howls moving castle)

honestly I don't even know how to explain this. Yeonjun just gives off that sort of vibe you know? 😭 Also Howls ego 😭😭😭 'if I can't be pretty there's no point in living 😔' I think this matches Yeonjun pretty well.

He'd be so cool, composed, and mysterious when you first meet, but once you start getting to know him he's just this big pouty adorable baby 🙃

Also imagine Yeonjun in Howls clothing 🫠 You know howls white top and tight black pants?

kind of like this?

Also fun fact: the female lead of howls moving castle has the same name as me so it makes the movie that much better 🙃

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Soobin - Haku (Spirited away)

I think it's just because Soobin is so calm most of the time? Haku is also a leader of sorts to the other people at the bath house so yeah 🙃 (I'm sorry am I even making sense rn? 😭)

He may seem super blocked off at first but ends up being a huge help to you and a very close friend c:

Honestly I was kind of tempted to give this character to beomgyu just because of the long hair 😭

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Beomgyu - Calcifer (Howls moving castle)

Calcifer is just so mischievous you know? (And dramatic but anyways) He's loud playful and just fun to be around 🤷🏻‍♀️ Calcifer is honestly like my favorite studi ghibli character ever.

I think he's also just really loyal. He can be super chaotic at times but when it comes to your time of need he'll be right by your side.

Like in the beginning of the movie, I don't think calcifer liked Sophie that much, and was always messing with her. But when she and howl were in danger he tried his best to help in any way he could.

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Taehyun - Jiji (Kikis delivery service)

I mean Jiji is a cat so... do I really have to day anything more?

Jiji is probably one of the most down to earth and honest characters in studio ghibli.

He makes a great companion, great friend, and great advice giver. (Also super sarcastic but you know-)

He's the type to be super honest with you and tell you straight up if you've done something stupid. But that also makes him an amazing advice giver. Hence, leading to a great friendship 👍

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Hueningkai - Sosuke (Ponyo)

I don't know how to explain this one 🙃

Sosuke is like this little ball of energy. Always curious and super energetic. He also has a huge imagination!

Throughout the movie I feel like Sosuke didn't really know what was going on, but he knew his friend needed help and was willing to do anything for them.

So huening might be clueless/ innocent at times, but he'd be willing to put himself at risk for you.

---☆

a/n: I'm so sorry that this is all over the place 😭 have of what I said makes basically no sense, but I hope you enjoyed my rambling still...?

[kaledya]

Back🌸

Okay, this is just a little message who has nothing to do with our current conversation.

BUT LIKE WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT DRAWINGS, ART, WHAT.

But. Can. We. Talk. About you dropping four portraits and like its normal ?? Like productivity ? Slay. Do we deserve so much. I was not ready.

I need to rumble about Cain, Abel, Raphael and Jophiel ?

Cain is giving some werewolf vibes and I'm not a fan of werewolves but I like this Cain still ? I like the hair, I like the style. And he gives me the character trope "I hate everyone except one person" and I don't know, I like it.

Abel look so much like his dad, I kind of want to roll my eyes but I zoomed in. And zoomed on his face, and I say the freckles and right now... I'm liking the dude with his smug face.

Jophiel is adorable, you already draw her i think but the eyes you made are really cool She look like a magical girl. And can see Abaddon sweating when she comes to talk to him. Ahah love it.

And Raphael is just chef kiss. I understand why Abaddon make a sculpture of his face each time aha.

Also me : *jump into this au/world.*

Me : "Hi." Raphael : "... Good morning?" Me : "Yes. Very good indeed... *look at the sky before giving him a plane ticket* this is a first class plane ticket for my harem. Its just at the left corner of my brain. You will come and everything will be alright, thank you. I have a chamber prepared, you can do whatever you like. Don't mind Jack Sparrow in the background. Try to ovoid Littlefinger at best. I mean... everybody is clever out there but not very kind. I never had Angel before... hum. Well try to find Sherlock and Watson somewhere or the Ghibli men ? If Hannibal invite you to dine... accept. But you will still die but at least you will be his friend. You can regenerate anyway. See you later bye !"

*me leaving*

Raphael : "...what was that ? Aaaaah!" *get thrown in the plane*

Respectfully. Ahah

_

ALSO, the new paintings of Lolicia and Lazuli, I was not readyyy ! Thank you 🌸 Like Lolicia ?? I'm actually considering to make it my phone background ! The light ? The background blue ? The texture of the tips of hair ? The jewellery ? The tail look like a wave ? I just love her expression. My baby 😭

Lazuli is fire, I understand why she is one of Verdelet's favorite! My cute babies ahah

And the outfits came from a ref on Pinterest! (naturally) but I twist it a little. I'm so happy you like the little comic, honestly I was laughing when I made Serenity and Alastor face and also when Constantine and Lolicia pillow fights ahah

And honestly slay both of them !! I think my favorite panel is when Constantine change and we see his face close up.

I'm so ready to see a painting of him ! So many gifts (I will gift them back all *put a scarf on my forehead ready*)

And the fact that you fall asleep, same yesterday night, I was doing the OC for Giovanni's assistant and I fall asleep too!!

Thank you again like AH!🌸🌸🌸

Ps : the animatic with Alastor and Serenity, I love it, especially the parallels in their deaths. it would be really nice to work with their storyline in season 2 (I think it will be angst at the beginning and it will get better and then they will slay like in he animatic!)

Now the Giovanni related message !

THANK YOU SO MUCH I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU LIKE IT!!!

Thank you! (⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠). As long as you have inspiration, I can only experience such things and I wanted to design Cain and Abel, I was full of inspiration.Also, I had to draw Jophiel and Raphael.

You are deserve everything❤️❤️ ☜⁠ ⁠(⁠↼⁠_⁠↼⁠)

I'm so glad you like Cain, and yes, when you said that, I noticed that he gives off too much of a werewolf vibe.

He can take off his t-shirt at any moment and turn into a red wolf. (live in twilight with ptsd)

In general, I wanted to think of Cain as his mother's son for some reason, and considering the endings of both of them, it makes sense since they were both cursed.Two people with red hair like blood on their hands.

The scar on his face comes from Abel and the Vitiligo under his eye It forms the mark of Cain in Supernatural.(I'm still a fan of that series)

And as you said he is kinda guy "I hated everyone Everyone except one person"

And terms of personality, he is really knowledgeable, intelligent and strong because of his long life, I can say that he resembles Dean from Supernatural in terms of personality.

--

LMAO I'm glad you like Abel and yes, his freckles is my favorite too (at least he inherited something from his mother).

Hahaah I'm glad you like Jophiel and she's exactly the kind of person who has never-ending energy and can talk about just one topic for hours.

I feel sorry for Abaddon sometimes * pats his head and it's oky ıts okey*

--

LMAO yes Abaddon is 100/100 right for what he did to Raphael.

LMAO Sir, the dialogues you wrote were really great, hahahaha And I have to say that your harem is really rich, I think Raphael will get along very well with the other harem members there.Also, I really love that your harem consists only of extremely smart people.(Jack sparrow may be an exception for this, he will probably be the one to start a fight)But imagine these characters sitting at a table and eating, what kind of conversations will take place at the table.

And besides, what overly intelligent character has a decent personality? So I think they should all be given a special therapy Watson that can fix them.

Raphael, son, if Hannibal invite you to dinner , don't go, he doesn't invite you to dinner, he wants to eat you.he want you as a dinner.

And lmao don't run away you have no chance Raphael you are on the plane now.

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I'm so glad you liked the drawings of Lolicia and Lazuli!!

Phone background?? I'm so happy! I'm really glad you liked it that much!!

And yes Lazuli she clearly deserve to be Verdelet Fav. Look at her she is gorgeus🤌🤌

And lmao yes Serenity and Alastor's face they was like ;What are we witnessing???

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Yes, that panel was really beautiful, for a moment I remembered the transformation scenes in Miracle Ladybug!

I drew the Constsntine art in my previous post!

AND THE PILLOW WAR!! he was really cute

You deserve all the gifts and more!! And I can't wait to see your future drawing (and writing, of course) work!

Hahaah Falling asleep while working🤝us

But after a while, even if the part is really focused, the eyes start to close automatically. It's really hard to fight.I can understand you sir.

And Hürrem's writing was really great, thank you again for writing her.

I'm really glad you like the animation.And yes, it was a lot of fun to portray the parallels between the two.

I always welcome Angst, the more pain the characters suffer, the better 🤌Thank you for your return and have a nice day!

[ystk-archive]

[Translation] L.D.K. Lounge Designers Killer interview (BARFOUT! magazine vol. 122, Oct. 2005)

(Yes, there's really a long-running arts and culture magazine in Japan called Barfout. Click here to view full-page scans of the feature, and feel free to contact me with any questions/comments.)

What surprising developments took place on capsule's new album!?

I'm crazy about capsule's newest album, L.D.K. Lounge Designers Killer. It includes "Flying City Plan" [Soratobu Toshikeikaku] — featured in a collaborative music video created by Ghibli subsidiary Studio Kajino and directed by Momose Yoshiyuki — for a total of ten songs (perhaps I should mention that video is on the same level as many sci-fi films!). capsule is a creative unit made up of Nakata Yasutaka (producer) and Koshijima Toshiko (vocalist). The two have been entertaining listeners with their extremely poppy releases that'll take you on a virtual joyride through a world of music inspired by interior design and mass-produced goods. That said, I was taken aback by the song "Glider"! Even with their cool, plastic charm, capsule launched a dramatic pop track with a melody that tugs at the heartstrings the minute it begins. If I had to compare it to works by other artists, it's got a similar feeling to Quruli's "Wandervogel" and Supercar's "YUMEGIWA LAST BOY." Geez, I've really been wearing this song out! (At this point, "Glider" is going at #1 on my top ten favorites of 2005!) Including a club-oriented track with an enjoyable guitar sound, capsule's new album is filled to the brim with groundbreaking songs that overflow with human emotion. It'll definitely add a certain je ne sais quoi to your own space!!!

Original interview text by Fukushima Ryutaro, translation by ystk-archive

"From outerspace to the ocean, I wanted it to have a sense of vastness" (Nakata)

barf: How in the world did you arrive at something like L.D.K. Lounge Designers Killer? Nakata: All the tracks on this album definitely make me go "hey, I can make good songs too!" (laughs). barf: The jacket photo is a picture of grass. Nakata: It's fake. The clothes we wear in the "Glider" video are also made out of that. I'm not much of a nature enthusiast, but in Japan we sure do have a lot of state-manufactured parks, don't we? The album cover's aura is sort of like that, how it's natural but somehow artificial at the same time. barf: The first track, "Flying City Plan," was used as the basis of a short film, following the examples set by "Portable Airport" [Portable Kuukou] and "space station No.9." They're even screening it before the movie Touch. Nakata: The first short "Portable Airport" showcases a fantasy town in capsule's type of aesthetic. After that was the resort concept for "space station No.9." So for this third one, we aimed for it to be more visually spacious and panoramic. From outerspace to the ocean, I wanted it to have a sense of vastness, so that's why I went with "Flying City Plan" for the music. barf: It has a majestic feel. Nakata: I tried to give it an easygoing sort of speed. When you're flying in an airplane, you can't feel the wind, but you know it's going by extremely fast outside. So the music follows along those lines, with a relaxed pace, kind of giving off an executive's suite type of vibe. And they retired the Concorde planes, so... (laughs) barf: Did you have any thoughts on the video, Koshijima-san? Koshijima: It's dramatic. She's a damsel in distress (laughs). barf: The second track "Teleportation" sounds so much like capsule's usual while simultaneously feeling quite new. Nakata: That's because, in a rare move, I played the guitar. I've used it before but only for riffs and whatnot, this time I played it more messily. barf: Speaking of guitars, the third track "Lounge Designers Killer" is rather rock-influenced. Nakata: To be totally honest, I was given a guitar. So I was just thinking like, "What if I use guitar sounds for this album?" There wasn't a deep reason behind it (laughs). barf: What kind of guitar did you get? Nakata: The one I used in the music video.¹ After we finished the shoot for "Glider," I added guitars to the song (laughs). Originally I thought it'd be interesting that the video was going to show a guitar being played with no guitars in the music, but since we went through the trouble of getting it, I threw some in the song after the fact. barf: That would've been a bizarre visual element (laughs). I get the sense that capsule is strongly influenced by cool instruments. Nakata: I really like changes of scenery and instruments. With bands, new ideas are sparked by the members interacting with each other, right? I pull my inspirations from instruments and checking out stores I haven't been to before.

"capsule does things without focusing on whether or not it's 'too late' to do them." (Nakata)

barf: "Glider" really comes to life as the seventh track following the science fiction-esque "Antenna." Nakata: I tried to make the transition sound unnatural. There used to be a sense of flow even though songs weren't actually connected to each other, but nowadays there's a high possibility that people will import albums into a computer and listen to everything out of order anyway. I wanted to put something there that would make the listener go "huh?" when the song changed over. "Antenna" starts and ends abruptly: the intro begins and cuts off halfway through, giving the impression that it's broken; it's the same type of weird feeling you get when the TV channel suddenly changes. So I put that in there to make the connection between the songs worse, not better (laughs). barf: "Glider" stands out strongly. Koshijima-san, how was it singing this song? Koshijima: Honestly, my voice was in really bad shape during recording and it was at its worst when we got around to "Glider" — it wouldn't come out at all. But when I got to listen to the song in the studio, I was struck by how long it's been since I heard something so good, and because of that my voice somehow managed to power through (laughs). barf: The title of "Progress and Harmony for Mankind" [Jinrui no Shinpo to Chouwa] feels a bit out of place, doesn't it (laughs). Nakata: It's from the 1970 Osaka Expo. barf: Really!! I didn't make the connection. Nakata: It's so like us to not use the theme from this year's Expo (laughs).² The Osaka Expo happened during a time when people really valued science. They thought like "with science, anything is possible!" Along with the ecological issues, I think the idea of creating another earth is fascinating (laughs). barf: With the kind of rhythm it has, the song's got a cool spacy feel to it. Nakata: That track is close to the type of music that pushed me into doing music. I felt like how I did in junior high, making songs like this when I started recording at home. Koshijima: You definitely did material like this when we first met. It was pretty heavy (laughs). Nakata: That's why when I listen to recent releases, I feel like I've gone back in time. These days, a lot of the songs I hear that people say are "good" are nostalgic. Bands have started making house and electro-ish music with '80s sounds and I wind up thinking, "Can they really do that?" barf: It has gotten like that. Nakata: capsule does things without focusing on whether or not it's "too late" to do them. It's not that I'm bitter about it though; that's just what happens when you do what you enjoy. barf: But if that's how you naturally go about about things, then it's okay. Nakata: It's not a recent phenomenon, but I do think people who create things feel confined. If they do this genre, then they have to use certain sounds — they have so-called rules like that. I make music thinking it'd be nice to ignore those rules.

¹ Nakata owns a Yamaha RGX A2 which he "played" in the Glider music video. I think. I was told that it was actually a different guitar but I guess not! ² 2005 was the Aichi Expo with the theme of "Nature's Wisdom." He's saying this in reference to his disinterest in nature.

[literaila]

Suggests what??? Admit itttt

Hmmm fair enough.. Not even one? Hmm... Well, I guess fictional worlds have their inevitable flaws too. Interesting. Uhhh for myself? Hmm.. Probably my neighbour totoro. Or any ghibli movie. Cliche answer? Maybe. But name me one better person that would take care of me in that universe than Miyazaki? He'd atleast give me someone nice to love.

Hmmm alright, do you make playlists? If so, how do you like to make them? Themes, months, vibes?

oh yeah it suggests that you’re lying

i just feel like the ones i love already have all of the necessary things in them (i like character driven stories not particularly interested in… setting) so… id probably just get in their way. real. if i could guarantee a life in a fictional universe it’d probably be easier.

oh yes lots and lots of playlists. none of them make any sense. i like to come up with stupid names that no one will understand. all based on whatever i feel like

[reputayswift]

hi taylor! do you’ve any book recs that feel like ‘whisper of the heart’ or any other ghibli movie in fact? thought you might be the right person to ask this x

Hi Amber!! I’m actually opening this up to everyone because I’ve also been chasing the high of WOTH since I’ve watched it and haven’t found anything that quite matches it 🤔

Getting some of the obvious ones out of the way (that you’ve probably already read):

Beach Read and Book Lovers both have protagonists in the writing world and feature academic(ish) rivals encouraging eachother to pursue their passions, but they’re a lot more romance-focused and ik EH isn’t for everyone. (I liked Beach Read better, this is an unpopular opinion lol).

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before also deals with the fantasy vs reality of romantic relationships/idealizing romantic interests and making decisions regarding your future but again, much more romance-focused.

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue has a similar focus on the arts, creative process, imposter syndrome, and having a muse + idealized romance vs real romance but is probably least similar as far as plot goes.

And as for general vibes, you might like The Scorpio Races? Vague early 20th century setting, mostly ordinary world featuring fantasy creatures and small elements of magic, beautiful scenery, protagonists that form a bond but are developed as individuals (romance is not the ultimate focus), deals with major decisions about the future. Bonus: as of last year, an animated film is in the works!

I also reached out to a few mutuals for some recs and here’s what they came up with:

The Raven Cycle: protagonist lives in a house of psychics and grapples with lacking psychic power (à la Kiki’s Delivery Service), ordinary world with fantasy/magic elements, beautiful scenery

“Uprooted and anything by Margeret Rogerson (esp Sorcery of Thorns)”: says they’re “Howl-esque”

“something by Erin Morgenstern”: “The Night Circus has such a strong sense of place i can see that being a win for some Ghibli fans”

I’ll Give You The Sun: “Very creative process focused and as far as I remember it's set in a smallish beach town so it has some sort of small-town vibe”

The Land Of Elyon: “I haven’t read them since like middle school but they may be similar [to Studio Ghibli movies]”

Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West: “Very magical and fantasy world focused, can be dark at times”

Howl’s Moving Castle: obviously

Hope that helped, and if you find anything else like that PLEASE let me know 🤗💜💜💜

[viviennevivisection]

Session 19 Notes - “A Favor” - 9-28-22

-Ellie gave Cass the “no makeup” makeup look and curled her hair with Alice’s curling iron

-Cass is wearing her usual purple overalls, but cinched! Slay 

-Ellie is wearing a yellow sundress with a white headband and white kitten heels (with the intention of co opting the Riley Smith Look but better)

-Naomi did not change 

-Heading to Ms. Moody’s house for dinner — it has a wrap around porch 

-MM and Ellie (adult) are drinking sweet tea

-It’s giving the house from Practical Magic 

-Jamieson is also coming for dinner 

-Eleanor is grown woman (Alice’s age) but…doesn’t seem to be all there —> in her mind palace 

-“It’s probably not smart to cast in Ms. Moody’s house without her permission.” - Cass

-Jamieson is here 

-“This is Naomi and Ellie! … and Ezra!” 

-Jamieson is gnomish her (kind of) 

-The dinner consists of studio ghibli type food 

-We are saying grace!

-There’s some divine magic happening…

-It acts as a modified hero’s feast…16 temporary hit points

-Jamieson is trying to get a viral GoFundMe to fund the school —> he wants to take a field trip to Idella 

-Everyone loves Woodvale…and no one leaves!

-Ms. Moody literally hates Riley 

-Jamieson has a crush on Cass

-Eleanor has trauma

-Ellie spent most of the dinner chit chatting to/at Eleanor, trying to find a special interest that may bring her out of her shell. She seemed to appreciate it, but didn’t really change. She’s dealing with something that she would benefit from forgetting. She’s stuck on something and when she disappears, that’s where she goes. 

-She may benefit from having an “Ellie” 

-Ms. Moody gave us the cobbler recipe 

-Eleanor Adler (her married name) 

-Going on a walk with Ms. Moody to Talk About Things

-Explaining the internal ley system and arcane virus stuff as we understand it to Ms. Moody

-Woodvale Sickness has always been around — but usually only affected miners. In those days, it used to be more of an inconvenience as opposed to a life-threatening illness

-It’s seemed to have gotten worse over time 

-The Mines closed 30-50 years ago 

-Correlations 

-People didn’t from [from the illness] before Dodder showed up 

-Thought to have been caused by long term exposure to whatever is in the mines (residuum, Ms. Moody thinks)

-Giving MM a crash course in how to read internal ley systems 

-Eleanor’s daughter passed away from Woodvale Sickness

-Going to the Town Meeting

-Vibes are like Gilmore Girls Town Hall in the barn 

-Ezra Darcy!

-Riley is also wearing a yellow sundress, but it looks homemade :) mine is designer 

-Cass is snatching her waist

-Ezra Darcy is a hottie, but we been knew (Markiplier vibes, but like…dirty from work)

-Norman Steele (president of Dodder) has issued an ultimatum for the town of Woodvale 

-The party approaching Ezra and Riley 

-Ezra Darcy: “Cassie!”

-Cass: “You know nobody calls me that.”

-Ezra Darcy: “I call you that.” 

-Ellie to Riley: “Did you make that! That’s so cute! In the city we’re so busy all the time, I basically have to buy designer clothes.” 

-I think this is where an enraged Riley made a comment through gritted teeth that she liked my dress, and Ezra said that they should get her one like it

-Ellie: “Oh, do you want this one? I have so many dresses— you’d be doing me a favor!”

-Nothing about Woodvale Factory makes any fucking sense — with the mines closed, they ship everything here to be made and then have to ship it away once it’s done. There are workers everywhere. Why Woodvale? There has to be something we and the town at large don’t know about. A bargaining chip. Ellie said all of this (a little bit more nicely) and ended up giving a worker of the world, unite kind of speech

-Cass did in fact trap Riley in the mines lmao 

-Cass is revealing that she stole the key 

-“It seems like the mayor’s daughter [dodder] has been..reckless.” Cass has committed the public execution of Riley Smith 

-Riley tried to use her magic item (necklace) — suggestion spell 

-Ellie and Naomi go to the bathroom, Ellie casts detect magic, and Naomi asks DN to follow Riley and Ellie can SEE HER? “Oh my god, is that you? I’m your biggest fan!!!”-DN has agreed to follow Riley, Naomi feels weird because it’s first time she’s noticed an absence as opposed to feeling a presence

-Cass came clean to Judd about not finishing school — that she’s not graduating. “More like Dodder didn’t want me to. I found something they didn’t want me to know.” 

-Judd: “Are you in danger, sweetie?” 

-Cass: “No.” NAT 1 DECEPTION 

-Judd is a slay dad, we Stan 

-Cass “may have an ace up her sleeve when it comes to the negotiation” 

-Cass is asking about Grandad AGAIN

-Ezra Darcy #confirmed has an arcane virus, similar to Heather’s. His internal ley system is weakened like Cass’, but not zeroed like (Gay) Ezra’s

-Ezra had plans to leave Woodvale!

-Naomi can’t cast magic without DN! Omg 

-Cass delivered the superior yellow sundress to Riley via Watts lmao 

-We sent Ms. Moody a magic letter with the information that Ezra Darcy is infected with the AV 

-Grandad was a ranger 

-One day a shift didn’t come back when it was supposed to — seemingly vanished without a trace

-The official story was that there was a collapse from digging too deep. No survivors. 

-Grandad disputed this. He said he saw an unnatural glow and started to feel weird, compelled to keep going when everyone else flat out refused 

-The Miller Curse

-There are other tieflings in Woodvale, but the Millers got hit three generations in a row

-Judd: “I’m so proud of you and I love you.” 

-There are crazy expensive-skeletons everywhere in Cass’ bedrooms — Watts prototypes

-Dark Naomi has returned…

-She showed up Riley storming out of the Town Meeting and scurrying to a nice home — our POV is smooth, like we’re floating — she goes inside straight to the dining room where Charlie Smooth is doing paperwork. There is a suit sitting there as well, smoking a cigar. This man doesn’t have an accent and Cass (watching over the telepathic bond) recognizes him as Norman Steele. 

-The Smiths and Dodder are officially #confirmed in bed together 

-Norman knows! He saw!! (Cannot remember what he knows or what he saw but this note is so ominous)

-“Did you lose a key, Riley?” Norman to Riley 

-THEY MADE MY ARRIVAL INTERESTING?? 

-“Did he fucking come FROM HELL?” -Sam 

-Norman to Riley: “I need you to work on Charlie, he’s been….resistant.” (AAAAAAAAAAAAH) 

-It needs to be of Charlie’s free will that he signs the deal 

-Norman to Riley if she fucks this up: “You know the consequences.” STRAIGHT TO HELL HOPEFULLY!

-Is Norman Steele……….Kirruk? 

“This small town bitch is going to sell the city to HELL to marry some hunk?” 

-What is Riley’s…last name? Smith….Helen Smith 

-Edible Wikipedia Time 

-Looking up an old interview of Helen Smith…she has a slight Woodvalian accent 

-White searching, Ellie finds a news article posted TODAY: Techrono ends partnership with Helix Labs. Quietly the relationship was dropped — and there is a public paper trail.

-WHY? BECAUSE DR. CUNT COULDN’T GET US???

-Danny Wright doesn't know anything about the split (presumably I quit or am fired) but he’ll try and poke around and let us know

-Dr. Cunt was the dean of students at the Aurora Conservatory 

-(Now why are all the deans of students evil? I wish we had spoken to the one in Idella) 

-Cass went around mending various things around the house while everyone was asleep <3 

-Naomi is TRYING to sleep 

-“You see…what you’ve seen before.” 

-“What makes something real anyway?”

-Dark Naomi is suddenly there on top of her, reaching toward Naomi’s cheek as her own face seems to rot and sag 

-Naomi felt Dark Naomi physically touch her

-“You owe me a favor.” 

-The ghost of her touch 

-Naomi is drawn to look outside the window with an overwhelming sense of being watched. Dark Naomi is standing on the wood line with Dark Ezra. “A Favor,” She says and turns and walks into the woods. 

[rynnaissance]

i’m bored so here’s which studio ghibli film i think would be each member of the nein’s favorite

ponyo - jester

she definitely grew up watching that movie over and over. she wondered if her dad might be like ponyo’s dad, somewhere off in the sea. whenever she rewatches it she HAS to have the ramen that they ate in the movie.

grave of the fireflies - yasha

she will not let you watch this with her because it makes her sob (dude me too). the whole war and these children trying to survive would definitely resonate with her in some way.

when marnie was there - beau

just like the rest of us, she thought they were going to be lesbians and then was horrified when she found out the truth. now she loves making people watch it with her without telling them anything just to see their reactions. she goes on a long rant afterwards. i think she relates a bit to anna.

whisper of the heart - caleb

it’s simple, it makes him happy. shizuku is a character that he really resonates with, mostly because she reminds him of what he was like when he was younger. seeing her get a happy ending makes him happy, but after it’s all over his usual self-hatred thoughts come tumbling back to him. he hums “take me home, country roads” to himself when he’s working hard on something. ALSO he fucking adored that cat *insert caleb voice* “although it vas not as good of a cat as frumpkin.”

howl’s moving castle - nott/veth

i mean come on. woman gets transformed into something she finds hideous and accepts the idea that she’s unlovable, only to find that people love her regardless and she breaks her own curse through gaining confidence. nott would fucking adore this movie. also she gets super jittery whenever she sees howl’s room bc LOOK AT ALL THAT STUFF! also she won’t stop commenting on how hot howl is.

castle in the sky - fjord

i can’t really explain it well, but it just makes so much sense. like jester, i think he grew up with it. maybe he watched it first at the orphanage and was mesmerized by it. also pirates.

nausicaä of the valley of the wind - caduceus

jester introduced him to this movie. when she heard he had never watched a movie before she first made him watch ponyo because she was super excited to show him and then nausicaä because she realized how much he would like it. he loves all the giant bugs and how nature is depicted. he’s very quiet when he watches it and just sits there like :) and gives the occasional quiet “that’s nice.”

spirited away - mollymauk

the vibes are so him. he adores the art and every five minutes says “this is my favorite part!” if you haven’t seen it he will make you watch it with him, he makes a fruit platter for snacks of course. i don’t think he really has a deeper connection to it beyond just loving the vibes which is so valid.

if anyone has any other ideas i would love to hear them!! idk if i did that good of a job on this lol



[ggukkiereads]

Hi 💓

It is the month of Ramadan and I want to avoid reading any smutty/steamy fics for the month. Which is why I was wondering if you have any Jungkook or Taehyung non smut fic recs? It can be fluff or anything just no explicit sex scenes. Thank you for your recommendations you are literally my favorite page on this platform 💜✨

🌷 Hello @dhabatae101. First, I wish you and other followers a happy, safe, and blessed Ramadan. Ramadan Mubarak! ✨

I decided to answer this right away so I tried compiling my reblogs (plus those fics I haven’t reviewed yet) and authors that “specialize” in fluff/angst. However, the list went on and on 🤭. So, I will split this post into two:

Part 1: authors that have more SFW content in their catalog (you are here)

Part 2: non-smut fics (my reblogs + other recs) - Taehyung | Jungkook

(Fluff/Angst) Smut-less Fics | Taehyung & Jungkook

🌷 Part 1 (Recommended Authors)

@jimlingss - Kina’s masterlist is just a dream. No two stories are the same and every fic is just memorable. A truly prolific and consistent writer. Usually witty, fluffy, and charming but the angsty fics are also deadly. I posted my fave JJK and KTH fics -  the Worshipers Series can be read independently but better if read sequentially to better understand the “universe”. The Slice of Life Series  is also a must, but you can read the KTH and JJK fics on their own but I seriously love ALL 💖.

Worshipers of the Sky - KTH | series [3/3] | 35k | God AU, Goddess!OC, Sacrifice!Taehyung, Worshipers Series | F, some A

Worshipers of the Sea - JJK | one shot | 16.3k | Pirate AU, Mermaid AU, God AU,  Worshipers Series  | F, A

President’s Son - KTH | series [20/20] | 80k | Bodyguard AU (reader), Slice of Life Sereis, Slow Burn | F

Sugar and Coffee - JJK | series [23/23] 101k | Patisserie School AU, Best Friend AU, Enemies to Lovers (slight), Slice of Life Series | F

Love So Shallow - KTH | series [3/3] | 34.8k | College AU, eventual Roommate AU, Best Friend AU, Humor | F, slight A  ⭐ #holygrailfic

Black Waltz -  KTH | two shot | Butler AU, Historical AU | F, A (ah I love Taehyung’s characterization here)

Moirai - KTH | series [8/8] | 46.9k | isekai au, fantasy au, reborn as a villain in a video game | F, A

Rent a Boyfriend - KTH | I noticed this is a crowd favorite, it might end up yours too =)

A Fairy Crime - KTH | one shot | Fairy godmother OC to grant someone a happy ever after  | F, A, crack

Date in a Box - JJK | one shot | 9.7k | Date Planner (like wedding planner but make it a service for dating) | F, F, F

His Name - JJK | series [8/8] | 52.4k | Multiple Personality AU, based on Kill Me, Heal Me (this is one of my favorite Korean drama series so I really enjoyed this fic series too) | A

A Piece of Moonlight - JJK | one shot | 22k | Warrior AU, Mulan AU | really angsty though

*didn’t include Chess of Ice (since this is in the Jungkook Jock AU list)

@inktae - If you’ve been following me I always rave about this author. Mostly her work is of fantasy genre but has a slice of life tone. Her fics are just masterpieces - just beautifully written and viscerally gripping. They remind me of Ghibli films for some reason (like the tone). You can check their fics here (just avoid those with M, usually with sexual content but honestly it’s not explicit). I love everything but if you want to start somewhere, you can try:

Blue Orchids, Moonlight, Home After Rain -  JJK Soulmate AU, Hanahaki AU, Angst  ⭐ #holygrailfic

First Light - KTH x R x JJK | raved about it here (angst)

Away From the Sun - KTH | soulmate AU

The train of lost souls - JJK, feat JHS | fantasy AU | A

The swirling Ways of Stars - JJK, fantasy | A, F

@gukyi - for your enemies to lovers needs. This is one of my favorite tropes so I just love that there is a writer that ‘specializes” in this. Please check their masterlist and take note of fics with (smut). Try:

Four Weeks - KTH, College AU, stuck in campus for four weeks during Christmas

Good Luck Charm - KTH, roommates, actor AU

Moonlight Melody + Part 2 - JJK, fake dating, orchestra AU | F, A

Coffee Shop Contract - JJK, fake dating, college AU | F

If I Told You - JJK, college, unrequited love/pining | F, A

Midas - JJK, magical realism | F, A

Love Project - JJK, comedy, photography assignment | F

@koorara - ugh I just adore their writing. Tooth-rotting fluff seems effortless with her drabbles/short stories. You can check their fics here. My faves:

Driving Me Wild - JJK, demon au, roommate au, ongoing drabble series but you can read it (not cliffhanger-ish), soulmate au | my review (tooth-rotting fluff)

His Dandelion - KTH, someone sent an ask about this you can read the description | A

Down and Down - JJK | MMA fighter, slight making out | A, F

The Pitter Patter of the Heart - skip the drabble with mature content, husband au, lecturer jungkook, this is super cuuuute | tooth-rotting fluff

@suhdays - it’s just amazing to find a writer with a non-smut catalog. Writing is just pure and focused on the plot and emotional/character development. Please give their masterlist lots of love. My faves:

Access Granted - I like hacker Jungkook. SMAU format

A Cinderella Story - JJK | also based on the movie | F, A

Wherever You Are - JJK | vampire, ceo (I love this) | A, F

Terms of Endearment - JJK | poet jjk x artist reader | F

Bucket List - JJK | friends to lovers (this is adorable! my review of this is still in the drafts like the rest of the fics 😥) | F, slight A

Camp Crush - KTH | brother’s best friend (this is funny like I was just smiling all throughout)

Made of Honor -  KTH | SMAU, recently completed! Like the movie

Baby I’m a Fool - JJK | Fake Dating, Co-worker AU, E2L | F, A

@vanaera - her Yoongi coworker E2L series is something I’m always waiting for and  I don’t think her other fics contain smut. Please check The Prince and His Rose (bestfriend AU, College AU, childhood friends, football player x writer!reader Jungkook, fluff/angst)

@namjoonchronicles - so I recently binged on this author’s writing (still bingeing on her other members’ fics). Their catalog has a lot of Domestic AUs which are beautiful slice of life pieces. It could be as simple as folding the laundry but it would be so meaningful. I said in one of my reviews that their domestic fics has same vibes as illustrator Puung’s Love is in Small Things. I would like to post my favorites here but I think I recently just reviewed/reblogged tons of their work (you can search my blog for the reviews). Please check their masterlist. Granite Glow is my ⭐ #holygrailfic

@rosaetae​ - if you like angst that hurts but it all makes sense why the situation had to be angsty, then her masterlist is something to binge on. Not all are angsty, just mind the tags for pure “fluff”. My favorites:

The Bedtime Contract - KTH, roommates, enemies to lovers, sort of cuddle buddy?, fluff but there’s slight angst | F, A

Dream a Little Dream of Me - KTH, soulmate au, could hear soulmate’s voice, waitress x songwriter | 

Lavender + Vanilla - KTH,  a story about a boy who had forgotten his memory of you

Chrysanthemum Effect - KTH (JJK has a side story too), Hanahaki AU

Among the Evergreen  - JJK, Christmas AU, E2L | F

Sweet Apple Biscuits - JJK, receives letter from their future self asking to save one boy ⭐ | A, slight F

Best Thing He Never Had 01 02 03 04 05 06  - JJK, bestfriends to lovers | A, F

Better Late Than Never - JJK drabble, exes AU, fake dating (I love this scenario, there’s one funny moment here with Jungkook saying his feelings through a door) | A, F

@justimajin - another favorite of mine - her fics actually try different genres/scenarios and are usually series. I find it fun to wait on episodes weekly. A consistent writer too. See masterlist here. Selected works:

Catching a Case of Doctor Blues - KTH, medical AU, enemies to lovers, slice of life

Swapped - JJK, body swap, really fluffy! I reviewed it before and screamed at how fluffy this is 😍 | tooth-rotting fluff

A Lone Wolf’s Howl - JJK, werewolf AU, sort of enemies/rivals, hunter AU, bestfriend. Note: there is a chapter with smut, you can skip that portion | A, F, S

@bubmyg​ - oh wow her works are just tooth-rotting fluffy goodness too (especially the Yoongi drabbles/one shots). But please check her fics for Tae and Koo. My picks:

Can’t Fake a Feeling - KTH, F2L, Fake Dating, College AU, Fuckboy (not smut)

Extra Cheese Sauce, Please - KTH, F2L, College, friends keep setting them up

Strawberry Boy - JJK, I just reblogged this weeks ago so you probably have read this | tooth-rotting fluff

Wonder - pool boy!jungkook x journalist!reader | F

Not a Date - JJK | one shot + drabble series, kinda E2L. cute |  tooth-rotting fluff

Dare to Begin - JJK | college au, idiots to lovers, broke college students |  tooth-rotting fluff

gcfguk + idcilh - a youtuber!jeongguk drabble series | F

you can check their masterlist for the other drabbles and fics I haven’t read/included

@cupofteaguk - a writer whose fics end up in my fic rec lists regularly. When I get asked about certain tropes, I always remember one or two of her fics. Their Reputation Series is binge-worthy but they also have plenty of scenarios/tropes to choose from. You can find a lot of KTH or JJK fluff-based fics here (or other members too):

the maze to you - KTH |  soulmate au | angst

along the boardwalk - KTH | skater boy/college au | fluff

it’s all fun & games - JJK | fake dating au | fluff

say you won’t let go - JJK | soulmate au | fluff

on the road (to you) - JJK |  road trip/strangers to lovers au | fluff

new romantics - JJK | hogwarts au, quidditch player, enemies to lovers | F, A

@crystaljins - another writer with fics that have well-developed plot, great angst and great endings. I recommend all (check other members’ fics here). Extra love for:

Take a Chance - JJK | series [7/7] | 63k | Hanahaki AU, Coworker AU, Boss!Reader, Wedding Planner AU | A, F | My review  ⭐ #holygrailfic

Schemes and Tricks to Win Her Heart - KTH | series [5/5] | 22.5k | Fake Dating, feat Chaebol/Rich Seokjin, Taehyung is Jin’s Little Brother, and OC is Tae’s bestfriend

I haven’t read the new Taehyung Christmas fic yet but give it a spin =)

@springbean - I love her story concepts and ideas! When I discovered her, I just binged on their work and I enjoy every new fic she releases. My personal favorites are listed below, but you can also check her masterlist here:

Onyx - JJK | cyberpunk AU, abo dynamics (it is sooo interesting to use abo dynamics this way. Usually abo is associated with werewolf aus but this is like a social classification system in this fic. It is still ongoing but it’s the type of story you can read and remember easily so in case it gets updated you can jump into the next chapter)  ongoing | A, F

Wolfsbane - KTH | Werewolf AU, college, soulmates (included in my KTH werewolf fic recs)

Cursed - JJK | Prince x Mage/Witch, Fantasy, Medieval, E2L, action (basically has all AUs I like) ongoing

Enshrined - JJK | this is new! fantasy, fae world, isekai, childhood friends, eventual smut (?) but since we’re not there yet you can still read it smut-less  ongoing

@army-author - another prolific writer with a catalog you can binge on. I recently reblogged/reviewed some of my favorites but believe me there are more (I am just lazy with reviewing and such). Personal faves:

Gamomania - JJK | childhood friends | tooth-rotting fluff, slight S

X and O - KTH | fake dating, single parent, teacher AU

A Monster Crush - KTH | childhood friends, angst, fluff, horror, implied S   ongoing

All This Stigma - KTH | fwb au, unplanned pregnancy, arranged marriage, divorce, really angsty but I love it!

The Village Idiots - JJK | soulmate au, childhood friends, they’re soulmate-less (or are they?) |  tooth-rotting fluff

The Alchemy of Amor - JJK | fantasy au, royalty au, enemies to lovers (new) | F

Fire and Ice - JJK | oh this is probably the first I’ve read from the author, E2L but make it fluffy rivals (he’s fire and she can yield ice), fantasy au, magic | F

Black and White Christmas - JJK | Office AU | F

@thedefinitionofbts - I love how emotionally invested I get when reading their fics. Most of their fics are smut-less but deeply rooted in emotions so I remember the story a lot even if I’ve read some years or months ago (I said in my werewolf fic rec list that there’s this Jungkook fic of theirs that’s really sad and I still imagine him waiting for OC.) Just powerful storytelling. You can check their masterlist and mind the fics with smut. I wanted to list my favorites here but I’ll end up listing everything. If you want to start a fic, I recommend:

A Story that We Paint - KTH x R x JJK | Sci-fi, College AU, Lucid Dreams AU | A, slight F

Our First and Last - JJK, VMIN | Soulmate AU, Sci-Fi | A, F

Kingdom of Crystal Snow - KTH | Christmas, Royalty (yay something purely fluffy)

Corner of the Universe - KTH | Reincarnation AU

other fics I like have S content or too sad

@threeletterslife - I love her fics because they make me dwell and ponder on things but themes are very heavy (I think she has one crack fic though). No smut and you can try all her works if you are in the mood for angst, some pondering, etc. Masterlist here. You can read the Love Chaser Series (though you have to read the Yoongi series first before reading Jungkook’s, it’s one universe).

Whipped with a Cherry on Top - KTH | friends to lovers, crack

The Time Traveler’s Playbook - KTH | time travel AU | F, A

Cuss Out - JJK | High school AU, crack | F

@artaefact - just feel good scenarios and I love her drabbles! I’ve reblogged and oohed aahed over the drabbles that are short but powerful scenarios.

incandesce + warmth drabble - JJK  (safe to say, you can read all their drabbles) | F

Aeturnal - KTH | fantasy au, royalty au (I loooove this. it has inexplicit S though, you can skip)

A Letter in Roses - KTH | husband au, valentine au

Calling You Mine - JJK | College AU, S2L, tooth-rotting fluff 

@augustbutwinter - a writer to watch out for. August delivers so much even with minimal word count; they can get you emotional (fluffy or angsty) and it is so easy to visualize the image she is trying to describe. Just wonderful. The words just flow easily too so the fics are not difficult to read/imagine. I recommend the ff:

My Tears Ricochet - KTH | ghost AU, roommate AU, fluff (sometimes angsty), drabble series ⭐⭐

Rose Coloured - JJK | post college AU, some sort of reunion with an old flame | F

@akinnie75 - What a wonderful storyteller. I would binge on her fics for their plot/storylines. Usually it feels as if you are reading a tale. Several of their fics ended up in my #holygrailfics (the namjoon and jimin ones). You can try:

Ghost Marriage - JJK | fantasy, idol au, kind of arranged marriage | A, F

Until Spring 1 | 2 - JJK | Romance, Fantasy, visited the Freesia Island for Spring but taken for Arranged Marriage instead | A, F

Moonchild - KTH | a tale about the legendary Moonchild, a mythical creature known for its ability to heal life of all sorts

🌷ggukkienote:

I’d also like to recommend checking the fics in each of the reading lists and Fic Recs by theme. You’ll find these lists in the NAVI page. Fics/Titles included per list are usually tagged for A/S/F content.

I will update this once I remember other authors that focus on A/F

Part 2 (Fic Recs) - linked top of this post

[extrakuli]

since halloween season is coming up (yes I know it’s september but still never to early to celebrate halloween) I was thinking about what costumes some of the genshin characters would wear or you doing couple costumes with them, it’s all right if you can’t do all three of them just some ideas that were in my head!!

you have be trying to convince xiao to do a couple costume with you for a while now and he finally gave in you two are going as jack skeleton and sally.

for childe it’s the other way around childe loves halloween he always did matching costumes with his siblings in snezhnaya so he wanted to do a couple costume with you, you two would go as felix and Sergeant Calhoun don’t ask why I just get those vibes

ok so for you and kaeya both of you wanted to do couple costumes since both of you never really had any friends to match costumes with (lonely mofos) anyway you two would go as flynn and rapunzel idk why kaeya gives me flynn rider vibes.

Halloween Costumes

xiao, childe, kaeya + diluc x reader (separate)

A/N; I’m gonna tweek it a little, switching childe’s and xiao’s. And adding diluc. I’m in a studio ghibli mood so 😻

warning(s)/genre; no warnings, fluff, bulleted headcanons. modern AU. Costume pairings include male x fem!characters but reader is gn. Movie spoilers (mainly for repunzal)

Xiao;

This is such a coincidence that I get this request including xiao; because I was watching spirited away last night and haku and chihiro reminded me of xiao and my oc.

It would definitely take time to convince xiao to dress up with you for the costume party childe and kaeya are hosting.

After convincing him, you decided to dress up as characters from your guys favorite movie; spirited away. (jack skeleton and sally were your second choice but decided with haku and chihiro)

one of the greatest mf films istg

You guys dressed up as haku and chihiro; xiao being haku and you dressing as chihiro! you even bought a little dragon haku plush that xiao carries on his shoulder

“Do we really have to do this” he pouts, as you help him with his costume. “yes! we already bought the costumes, so there’s no point in not going anymore, plus, you look super cute in this outfit!” you cheer, patting down his costume making sure it fit him, he blushes and stares at the mirror. “Atleast Im not making you wear the wig..” you giggle. “There’s no way you’d get me to wear that ugly sweaty thing” he crosses his arms but there’s a small upright curve on his lips when he hears you giggle.

Childe;

This was your idea, because god forbid you two go as the hot sexy gun lady and the fix it man from reck it ralph. No way in hell, especially if childe was gonna make you dress up as fix it felix because your shorter then him

It took a tiny bit of convincing to change childe’s mind to dress up as howl and Sophie from howls moving castle. but after you watched the movie he was convinced

He wanted to dress up as howl’s bird form but you convinced him to be normal and go as blonde howl.

Was actually really happy with how you two turned out. Said it would have been funny if you dressed up as the old granny version of sophie and you slapped him across the head.

Helping him fix his cape and smooth out any wrinkles, Childe admires himself in the mirror, having a giddy smile on his face. “There, your costume is all ready.” you smile, standing next to your boyfriend in front of the mirror. “I still don’t know why you wouldn’t let me go as his bird form-“ you let out a large dramatic sigh to cut him off, leaving you two chuckling and giggling.

Kaeya;

Well, sense I couldn’t think of any other studio ghibli couples that represent kaeya; and i just really liked the kaeya + flynn rider idea i kept it.

It was his idea and he had to convince you to wear that long ass mf wig. You refused because it would be heavy and a pain. so you decided to dress up as repunzal after flynn cut her hair in the tower.

Thought you looked sexy in the dress, and liked the idea of wearing a shorter wig because he said, “It would be easier to kiss your neck like this” swat him away like a fly whenever he tries to give you kisses or love bites on your neck.

you couldn’t lie that this was a great idea because damn, kaeya looked so damn fucking good in flynn’s outfit, especially sense he let a little stubble grow on his chin.

You were struggling to tie the ties in the back of the dress, calling to your boyfriend to help you out. “Kaeya, can you tie the back of this dress for me? it’s a pain and i can’t seem to tie it properly” he walks over to you, taking the ribbons in his hands, “of course” He pulled on them and tied them tight. Moving his hand off of the tied ribbon and rubbing up your waist and hips, before leaning in to give your neck a peck, “you look gorgeous” you smile and lean in to his touch, “hmm, so do you.”

Diluc;

ponyo ponyo, ponyo fishy in the sea-

So i can picture diluc as Fujimoto (the father with the stripped suit) from ponyo, because semi of his personality and hos gorgeous hair.

You, the reader, would obviously go as non other then the god of the show, Granmamare, the sexy giant goddess lady.

You had to convince him to go first, because he would rather be caught dead then be seen dressed up at kaeya’s costume party. but indulged in to your request after you suggested going as Fujimoto and Granmamare.

Thought he wouldn’t look any different, so he complied. He was happy he didn’t have to wear a wig for this costume. Also thought you looked stunning in the long wavy pink wig and long dress.

He was sitting down in front of you, sitting patiently as you did small touch ups of make-up for his eye bags, eye shadow and cheek bones. To be honest you didn’t really have to darken his eye bags because there was already some because of lack of sleep, so you just touched up his blue eyes shadow and the blush on his cheeks. Your lips purk up and you out the make up brush down. “All done! you look very pretty, diluc.” you hand him a mirror, blush creeps on his cheeks at your compliment. Honestly a bit surprised when he sees himself in the mirror. “oh..wow, you applied this stuff really well.” he tells you as he carefully studies his Looks. “Mhmm..only the best for my cutie.” you kiss his reddened cheek.

10:54 pm 9/07/2021

[coffeecakecafe]

What was your inspiration for the Guardians of Atlas ? Can you give any tips for worldbuilding ?

ooo inspirations is SUCH a mixed bag for GoA. I started this as a little life story essay but we're gonna be more concise than that bc Reading

Guardians was built out of a love for superhero cartoons, fantasy kids novels, and anime. More specifically I was really inspired by Teen Titans and the DCAU, lots of Cornelia Funke and Roald Dahl books (and later on as I got older, Howl's Moving Castle and Asteroid Made of Dragons and a healthy chunk of D&D), and manga like Full Metal Alchemist and +Anima and a grab bag of magical girls and Ghibli movies. Also,, a LOT of Kingdom Hearts.

Worldbuilding is like,, putting a big puzzle together, for me.

With GoA it was very very gradual - until about last year, when I realized I wanted a *much* more magic-heavy world than the one I had built. I started with what I had, which was like a fairly standard superhero universe - some people have powers, most folks are "normal" - and decided that it needed some very specific things. A universal magic system, dragons, some solarpunk vibes, world connection to Cross & Nightingale (my other big story project). From there it became What Glue Will Hold This All Together.

which is a very roundabout way of saying that worldbuilding, for me, begins with deciding on key elements I Must include. Then I take those elements and bridge them together, and where things clash you either have to invent a cool new thing that makes it make sense, or start pulling out conflicting stuff.

[mrskurono]

a/n: this is the first installment(?) of the Nori brain rot from ages ago w/a Studio Ghibli vibe, idk man this just happened word count: 2.2k tags: post!Shibuya arc, possible spoilers, blood, violence, cursing(?), heavily Hoizer inspired, kinda edited character(s): Noritoshi Kamo, fem!sorcerer reader pt ll

Curses stank. 

In a metaphorical sense yes. But also in a literal sense for you. 

These twisted beings permeated your senses like a rot that you could never rid. Unless exorcised they stuck around in your nostril for days. Each one a different smell but all of them stuck in your craw all the same. 

Beasts of rancid nature in behaviors and looks. Nothing more than to be exorcised by sorcerers. You learned quickly that exorcising the curses was no different than taking out week old trash. 

What you hadn’t planned on was someone doing more than dumping trash on the world. Whatever had happened. Suddenly you were faced with more than just dutiful tasks of keeping non sorcerers safe. A monsoon of trash had been dumped not only on you. But every human in this world. 

Your nostrils burned. And you couldn’t be rid of these things quick enough. Each one you exorcised only meant two or three popped up in their place. Never ending. You couldn’t stomach this smell though. It wouldn’t kill you before you got a breath of fresh air.

Glancing around you take a deep breath. Mountain air on the outskirts of Kyoto during this time of year always meant a refreshing break from the city stank. What you smelled wasn’t refreshing. It was that same vile smell you could clearly recall. 

A curse. One that was close too.

To thread carefully was to perhaps save your life. Every aspect of daily life ripped from you. As well of millions of others. You had done your part to try and protect those around you. Soon finding it in slight vain as you sought out some place to find your own breath of fresh air in this madness. 

‘It’s close....I feel like I’m gonna hurl.’ Thoughts toying with where the curse might have hidden itself. You keep a firm grip on your hilt with every intent to draw it the second the creature made the mistake of slipping up. 

Where you could smell it lurking. There was something else. Almost metallic in scent. You ignored it though. Nothing over powered the scent of a curse. You longed for just the sight of these things. Told over and over again how handy it was to have more than one sense open to curses. Each and every time you took a whiff of one, it made you wish nothing more than to just be able to see these creatures instead of smell them as well.

‘Wait-’ Every alarm in your body went off. Snapping around you couldn’t smell the rancid putridness of the curse anymore. That same metallic scent hung around though. You couldn’t identify it. It was something you’d never smelt before but also so familiar. 

Each hair on the back of your neck rose. This was an old deserted Buddhist temple. No one should have been here except you and the curse ransacking the place. A safe haven or so you thought. When your instinct told you to step behind one of the structural beams. You were suddenly glad you did.

Mere inches from your face, the gust of an arrow whistled past you. Weapons were not used by curses. Now you understood. That smell was human.

Quick to defend yourself, with sword drawn, you didn’t expect the same arrow to make a hard one eighty back in the direction you were. No wooden pillar to save you now. You raise your sword just quick enough to sheer the object in half. Rendering what ever power it was imbued with useless. As it had sped past you though the faint smell of iron suddenly became strong. Whatever it was from had a source. Likely human.

Not ready to give up your ideal hiding place to some interloper. You take only a second to focus on the unfamiliar smell. Faint. And not like a curse. There was something towards the back of the temple though that hinted that they were lurking where you couldn’t see them.

With an idea of where the attack would come from. When another arrow came flying by you from a faceless source, you were ready. Smacking it down before the enchanted weapon could turn on you like the first had. This time though you’d seen what angle the projectile was fired from.

‘Gotcha,’ No shortage of ways around a deteriorated temple like this. You duck down through a few broken beams and make your way up to where the attack came from. 

Expecting to have but a lowly sniper sitting with no way to guard themselves. You find no one. But the scent lingered. Scrutinizing it closer you decided maybe to use a different sense, “...Hey, I know you’re not a curse! Neither am I! Maybe if you just-” Words cut off by another arrow whizzing past you. There was nothing ruder than being interrupted. Glowering in the direction that the arrow came from now you tightened you grip on your sword, “Ok! I get it- Strangers we might not-”

Another arrow. This time too close to your head for comfort. You lost your patience with the third one. 

Recklessly charging towards the assailant was clearly enough to throw their game off track. Swinging your weapon before seeing what it was to lie before you. It was a surprise when your blade met with the dull thud of the wooden limb of a bow. 

“What the-” You attack deflected for the moment being. Your first instinct is to jump back from whoever deflected your attack. In close enough range you thought you had the upper hand to avoid the bow. But that was purely lazy thinking on your part as the cause of the stank of iron became clear.

“Slicing exorcism!” This nobody who reeked of iron shot what looked to be a shuriken made of blood at you. 

No time to be disgusted. An overwhelming scent of blood made it apparent what you’d been smelling. It wasn’t a simple metal. It was blood.

“Oh- Oh!” You raise your blade up in the nick of time to just get the splatter of cold liquid on your cheeks. Disgusted in passing you have no time to dwell as the stranger before you makes to dart away. With their head of dark hair in your line of sight, you weren’t ready to try and re-find them once again in this maze of debris.

Lurching forward you feel the upper hand stall when they stopped your attack once more with the brute of their bow. Clear view of them now. The man who’d clearly fired the arrows was all but composed when shaking off your attack. No way to not suspect another sorcerer caught up in this giant trash heap of curse attacks. You still have no time to play nice when they hurl another blood conjured weapon at you.

In such suddenness you are less lucky than you have been. This one catching your cheek and causing a sting to spread throughout the skin of your face. Fed up with this game you don’t care if he’s a sorcerer or not. This was a one for all situation now that you intended to win.

Firm foot hold found. You realize the man has cornered himself at this point. Range attacks out of the question. Undoubtedly giving you the upper hand now. With a hefty swing of your sword and the first time you’d channeled any energy into at all. You bring it down like a guillotine. Ready to strike flesh. Instead the snap of the bow is your first sign of an upper hand. 

All but trash the man throws it aside but too slowly. You’re on him before the range attacker can pull that weird blood trick again. Slight intent to kill as if he were a curse. You swipe your foot down and knock him down to the temple floor with a hard thud.

You waste no time between the moment his head hit the ground and your above him. Tip of your blade pressed to his neck. One breath too deep from him and the sharp tip would pierce his pale skin. Eyes fixated down on him you realize in the moments after your adrenaline fades that he’s staring right up at you.

Sharp tongue your words come out curt only to be interruped right away, “Who are-”

“Another sorcerer-” His eyes open from the slits they’d remained in the skirmish, “What are you doing here? How did you-”

“I get to ask the questions!” You snarl, jabbing his throat with your sword just enough to watch a crimson bead peak from under the tip of your weapon, “You attacked me, what are you doing up here? Why were you-”

“...you’re so pretty-” Suddenly his eyes open wide realizing what he said, “Wait I didn’t-”

“Shut up or I’ll cut your throat out!” Your sword pressing uncomfortably into the side of his neck now, “I asked you a question! Why are you up here!?”

“Kamo-”

“What? What are you-”

“Kamo family!” He quickly sputtered, “Head of the Kamo family!”

The name rang a bell somewhere in your frazzled brain.

“I’m the head-” He suddenly registered really the blade to his neck, “I’m looking for stragglers-”

“In an abandoned temple?” You weren’t buying it. 

“My people live just down the hill,” He spoke earnestly, “I had to keep the stragglers safe when the curses released from their seals in the keep. Some where up here but-”

“I killed them,” You glared down at him, “I killed all but the one you shot. How long were you up here? Were you following me?”

A shake of his head even as he stared at the glimmer of your sword, “No. I was looking for anyone who came up here. I didn’t expect to find another sorcerer. I felt your cursed energy and assumed you were a curse.”

Eyes narrowing you didn’t like the sound of something so simple to this pretty face, “...I don’t believe you. Give me a reason I shouldn’t kill you right now or else-”

“Noritoshi-” He blurted out, “Noritoshi Kamo. Head of the Kamo family. I can give you some place safe to stay. I don’t understand what’s going on but-”

You lift the blade from his throat. Something about the diligent tone in his voice. Like he’d introduced himself like that a million times. You could kill him but it seemed a waste. Weapon retracted but no offer to help him up. You stand above him with a confounded glare, “...do you know what’s happening?”

His head shook and your stomach dropped. Noritoshi didn’t get up. Only propping himself up slightly when he realized the back of his head was thumping from the impact, “....A special grade curse released a powerful seal in Shibuya about two weeks ago...I saw but....” His face became somber and he shook his head once again, “...I don’t know what’s been going on. I just know things are in disarray and it’s my duty to protect my people.”

Once more you were skeptical but with how little rest you’d gotten in the past few days due to the tremendous increase in curses. This man’s words seemed as solid as any other theory you’d heard. More so than the plea of non sorcerer’s you listened to day in and day out about the end of times. 

“...Has the Jujutsu elders said anything?” You step off him completely. If he was speaking the truth maybe he knew what was going on as an actual heir to one of the clans.

Noritoshi looked up at you a moment longer, “No...there’s been a wide emergency notice to do what you can but our numbers....” He grew quiet, “...as many sorcerers seem to be dying as the rest of Japan.”

Perhaps the end of times were coming. You grip your sword hilt tight and take a deep breath, “....seems a angel of death is coming then whether we like it or not.”

“You’re a sorcerer.” He began to get to his feet, “Please, come with me. If anything to stay away from here. There is a grave yard on the other side of the thicket. More curses will come. No one should be here even as a sorcerer yourself.”

First hand you’d seen the influx he spoke of. From every direction. While out of the city provided some safety you knew that this place left you as vulnerable as any other if you stayed alone. With no words to be spoken of from the elders. And an age of curses threatening to crowd out humans. Like a trash pile reaching it’s capacity. You didn’t see much choice in this one.

“...I will kill you if I find out you’re lying to me.” Voice firm without breaking eye contact with him as you sheath your sword, “I smell one curse in this safe space of yours and I’ll-”

“Kill me, yes,” Noritoshi nodded with both busted ends of his bow in his hands as he looked on at you, “I am not lying but if you see fit, I’ll accept you as my angel of death then.”

a/n: I have one wine cooler in me as I finish this. This might be a multi part if the inspiration finds me. Anyways, um, yeah! This is an old idea coming so pls let me know if you liked it!

[ephemerlskies]

of honey and cinnamon | jjk

⇢ pairing: jungkook x reader

⇢ genre: fluff, one shot, slice of life au, enemies to lovers, musician!jungkook

⇢ word count: 14k

⇢ warnings: explicit language, mentions of terminal illness, mentions of death, themes of grief, slight plot twist, a surprising consumption of sugar, enough cheesiness to last you a lifetime

⇢ summary: what makes a three-day train ride back to your hometown anything but dull and dreadfully long? the answer, and your salvation from a boring trip home, was being stuck in the same cart as jeon jungkook for the entire ride there. unknown to you, he would turn this mundane trip into an unexpected adventure.

♪ playlist: dream a little dream of me - ella fitzgerald, departure - joe hisaishi, a journey (a dream of flight) - joe hisaishi, longing for mother's return - satoshi takebe, the sixth station - joe hisaishi, a town with an ocean view - joe hisaishi, you're in love - joe hisaishi, one summer's day - joe hisaishi ♪

a/n: this was honestly one of my favorite fics to write! ever! it was heavily inspired by studio ghibli movies hence the playlist because i recently binged a bunch of ghibli films (and i do not regret it) so, i tried to replicate the vibes from the movies i watched as best as i could!! :)) i hope you lovely readers enjoy!

They tell you love takes time. If you are patient and attentive enough, it courses through your body easier than your own blood and sinks itself in each vessel and bone and cell. Love will melt into your heart until that is all it knows. And in tales where lovers make grand gestures, like slaying the dragon and giving the moon and the stars and the sky along with the world underneath it and bestowing true love's kiss, it takes an entire story to get to the part where they are in love.

Love takes time, and in that time, there is a series of sometimes likely, and sometimes unlikely, events woven delicately within each minute that leads to the moment you know, you are in love. Traditionally, love makes itself known. It is loud and beautiful and anything but hidden within the ordinary moments used to fill in the gaps between the bigger moments. 

This story, your story, existed during the moments in between.

This train station had always emulated such an archaic ambiance. So much so that you believed you'd traveled back in time to when it was first built. Everything felt surreal, when you stepped on the train making a beeline to Cart 102, the floors felt like water; the surface tension clinging just strong enough to keep you afloat not without the occasional toss and turn. You swore it was just the rusted tracks that jostled you, but a part of you knew it was the water.

"Single rider?" The attendant stood at your cart's checkpoint, hand extended and waiting for your ticket.

"Yes, here." You handed him the paper, along with your baggage but kept the book for future entertainment and the pillow because you could tell the seats were no softer than wood.

"The train is fully occupied, so someone will be sharing your cart."

Perfect. If the world wants to do you a favor, just this once, then you hope that it sends you a quiet passenger. One that exchanges the customary 'hello' and 'goodbye' which is the extent of your interaction with them because you were tired in a way that sunk you into your zone of unsociability and on your way back home for the worst possible reason.

And the world did, in fact, do you a favor. It delivered Jungkook to Cart 102. But it just was not the favor you expected.

At first, you believed him to tick all your requirements for the ideal travel companion. Perfectly manicured company with a clear sense of boundaries. For one, he entered with a wall of silence that not only kept a greeting gated in but even the slightest acknowledgment that you were seated right across from him. It was so natural for him to ignore you that you had to glance down at your hand to check if you really were invisible.

He took his seat, stared out of the frost dusted window that reflected the sliding door that separated you and this man from the rest of the train and the world, and sighed. For a moment, he just stared and you thought it would get easier from here. But then he turned to you, and smiled.

"Hi, I'm Jungkook." It was a full smile, one that showed nearly every tooth, which reminded you of a rabbit. That paid enough respect for the previous shouldered entrance, and at first it was cute. Then, it made you feel guilty.

It was a smile you couldn't afford to return at the moment, so instead, you offered back a slightly upturned lip and a cordial nod.

"___." His hands looked strong like they had handled an array of heavy things and had the calluses to prove it. The way he sat made you feel a spark of something.

It was only a few seconds later when you realized that something was an unbridled annoyance. His legs were spread out, having you picturing the times he'd monopolize the space on a crowded bus. Jungkook was probably the type of man who was born with an entitlement that carried through to every part of his life, including the way he sat down on trains and pissed the living hell off of you.

"Like what you see?" Now you were pissed off for two reasons. The way he sat and the fact that you just got caught staring at him; his lap to be specific.

Soon, the two reasons doubled when your eyes returned to the smile on his face that didn't seem to have gone away. He was proud to catch you in the act, and most likely assumed your staring was due to an attraction so gripping that you couldn't help yourself but to stare at his crotch of all things.

"No, I was just..." Your words caught in your throat, because you weren't about to explain why his spread position on the seat had drawn an irritation from you thicker than the blood pulsing loudly through your body. You didn't want him to know you cared enough to be irritated in the first place, even if that meant letting him believe your staring was a form of unspoken flattery. "No."

"Okay, whatever you say, ___." It was the sarcasm this time, and the way he said your name that pissed you off. There was a seed inside you, ready to bury in your gut and grow just enough for you to rip his tongue from his mouth so he'd never have to say your name again.

"You'd think you didn't want to make the person you're about to spend three days on a train with angry, but maybe you're just that dumb." Insulting him gave you instant relief from the headache you knew was about to assume your forehead.

"Damn. Guess you're not the type to take a joke." Jungkook revealed his teeth one by one again, but you didn't describe it as a smile. A smile is something you thought to be beautiful, a physical expression of joy. No, what his face possessed was something sadistic. You were sure of it.

The way he carried himself and voiced his thoughts were more concentrated than arrogance. There was not a word in any language that could properly describe Jungkook. Nor was there a feeling that could render yours into something palpable. And the world had sealed you inside this cell marked Cart 102 with the person who was grainy and slick like quicksand, and just as deadly because you were sinking into him and every feeling he had provoked within the ten minutes you'd known him.

Jungkook was the first person you hated. Beyond every rude customer, every demanding boss, every high school bully, every cut tie, there was Jungkook who wore that heavy medallion of hatred around his neck like he was proud of it.

In all honesty, you thought he should wear it. He earned it. Everyone should know that you hated Jungkook and that it only took him a record-breaking ten minutes to attain the once unattained title.

You began to read your book, however 'read' didn't accurately describe what you were doing, which was staring blankly through the same words while collecting more reasons why you hated this man. It became an obsession of yours in a few short moments, because now you didn't just hate the way he sat and spoke and smiled. You hated how his breathing was somehow louder than the wheels grinding against the metal tracks or how whenever another train would pass by, he'd bring his face so close to the window you could see the warmth of his breath cling onto the glass and form a small, foggy patch.

You especially hated that you could quite literally feel his eyes on you, blistering your skin like the way a magnifying glass would redirect the sun's rays onto a target, which just so happened to be your face. Jungkook was unrelenting; as if he were trying to sear your skin with a permanent brand of his eyes.

Between the rhythmic flipping of the pages that you weren't reading, you were compelled to reprimand him for the staring. Maybe throwing his own words back into his face about 'liking what you see' would do your own vengeance justice. But that might indicate you were thinking of what he said to you this whole time.

"The weather looks so cold. It's practically raining." You moved only your eyes up from your book to study him.

He was looking out the window again, eyes chasing each speck of mist preluding the raindrops that were surely going to fall. It always rained at night.

"Looks like another thunderstorm." You packaged up the gasp that was about to burst from your chest.

For reasons you'd rather not share with a complete stranger you were hellbent on hating, you were terrified of thunder. Not lightning, but the loud crash that followed it. It was the last thing you wanted to experience while bottled up in a train with Jungkook.

"Excuse me." Your abrupt stance interrupted Jungkook's rain watching.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"None of your business." The slam of the sliding door echoed the anger you didn't express before as it snapped shut, fractionating the air you once shared with Jungkook.

You took a deep breath, the air outside felt cooler. The attendant was loyal to his assigned post, which was convenient for you.

"Sir, is there any way I can switch carts?"

"No, full train. And your ticket says Cart 102, so that's where you were meant to be." His eyes were sheltered by his hat, so there was no chance of pleading with your eyes if you couldn't even see his.

"Fine." It was a long shot, one that you didn't have the aim or trajectory for. You suppose he was right. Cart 102 was where you belonged for now. You just couldn't accept that Jungkook also belonged there with you.

Inside, the warm yellow light was beckoning you back in. Through the door, the brightness glimmered out until it was consumed by the dark hall where you stood. Jungkook was looking out of the window again with a rising and falling chest; you could hear his breathing even from behind the door or at least, you could imagine how it would sound.

"If we're going to share a cart, we could at least be friends." Jungkook's suggestion made him too human, too real for you to hate. You wanted to cling on to the idea that he was a horrible person, harboring more vices than the devil himself. But his voice was friendly sometimes, and his smile looked loving, occasionally, when he presented it to you.

"I don't see why we can't just be silent for the rest of the ride."

"Why are you going back home?" For a second, you were shocked enough to forget you were supposed to hate him. His gaze was calm and carried none of the worries yours had. You wondered, just for a second, about all the others who were on the receiving end of his gaze, and if they felt the way you felt when he looked at you. That look that distinguished him from anyone you had ever met.

You didn't want him to be right, because you didn't want the 'why' to be real. The tragedy, the only thing demanding enough to peel you away from your life away from home, should not have been the 'why' that put you on this train. But it was, and it made you angrier than he did.

"How do you know I'm going home?" You injected each word with a sharpness that you hoped would sting Jungkook.

"Well, are you going home?"

"Yes... are you?"

"No, just visiting." His eyes returned to the window, like a refrain in a poem. Always returning to look somewhere out into the beyond.

"Well, you should count yourself lucky." And you returned back to your refrain, pretending to read just so you wouldn't get caught staring at him and listing more reasons you hated Jungkook because that was easier than thinking of what was really bothering you.

"Lucky. Huh." You wanted to know what was so captivating on the other side of the window. What could have possibly supplied his eyes with something that was more interesting than the inside of this train? "Why are you going back home?"

"You already asked that."

"And you didn't answer me." Perhaps it was the stars, and he was tracking them in his mental inventory, examining until they were replicated along his memory the same way they were plotted across the sky. "Why are you going back home?"

"My mom. She's dying." Stars seemed to be a beautiful thing to keep your eyes occupied in a way your mind couldn't be, but you couldn't see past the thick fog and lack of light. "She's sick."

"I'm sorry to hear." His sincerity worked against all the animosity you'd cultivated for him.

How could he see the stars? You were going to ask, but you didn't want him to know what lied beyond the small beacon of light surrounding the train was lost to you, or rather you lost them. You wanted to hate him, so you didn't ask.

"I knew something bad must have happened to get someone like you to come home." That comment certainly suffocated any benefit of the doubt you were going to bestow upon him. Jungkook was arrogant and entitled, and in your most recent discovery, presumptuous and judgmental. Everything wrong with this world. No amount of dashing smiles and considerate questions could change that. You had to remember, you hated this man

"How dare you! How- How dare you assume something so rude!" The cloth of your pillowcase had almost worn through from how tight your fists were gripping them. You felt the fire burning through your nerves, soon about to combust and set Cart 102 ablaze. "I hate you."

It was two in the morning, or at least those were the numbers shining from your watch. The window offered the same pitch blackness that frustrated you, so you decided to give your legs some employment from sitting.

The hall of the train was nearly as dark as the outside; the overhead lights once drizzling down a soft glow were turned off. You wandered down the stretch of the medium but the further you walked, the thinner the walkway felt. Soon, the walls on either side of you were pressed against your shoulders so snugly, you had to turn your body to squeeze through.

"Having trouble?" You knew that voice; you hated that familiar inflections and conceit planted in each word he spoke.

"Can't you see I'm trying to walk?" Squinting proved to be obsolete while trying to see whatever destination was in the distance. "Why is everything so dark?"

"Because, you're not trying." If you could turn around, if these walls weren't beginning to smother your body to immobilization, then you would have run over to him and slapped the smile right off of his face. Because you were trying, you were trying to see this whole time but the dark had infested everywhere.

Unfortunately for you, the walls were connecting closer and closer, as if trying to move through you so they could reach each other and close altogether. But where would that leave you? When the gap was stitched shut, where would you be?

The walls were softer than you thought, but still forceful enough to steal all the air from your lungs leaving you a panicked mess lodged between these unkind walls. And the pressure wasn't enough to kill you, but it was just enough to leave you stuck and miserable.

"Jungkook, help me, I can't..."

Day One

Your dream was vivid enough to mislead you into thinking it was real. It wasn't until your eyes fluttered open, and consciousness spilled into your mind like a gentle breeze that you realized the nightmare was over. The window allowed a soft light into Cart 102, making you more thankful for the day than you had ever been in your entire life. You lifted your head from your pillow placed on the seat that you didn't recall placing there, and now that you think of it, you didn't remember falling asleep either.

You especially didn't remember covering yourself with this wool coat that smelled like the air after a bonfire had just finished browning marshmallows and dissolving wood.

"Someone's finally awake." Then it all came back to you. You wondered why everything felt so tranquil. It was a shame you couldn't enjoy the peace before the omen of annoyance, your special nickname for Jungkook, had returned.

"What time is it?" Your eyes were blinking away the sleep, and when that failed, your hands began to rub them until they were able to prop open fully.

"Eight-thirty. Here." He set down a Styrofoam cup of something hot enough for steam to escape through the open space of the lid. It smelled sweeter than coffee.

"What is it?" Your question came after you had already picked it up to furnish your hands with warmth and your nose with the delectable aroma leaking from this cup.

Jungkook’s smile was hidden behind his cup, already half empty, withholding an answer from you because he wanted to see if you would try it before you knew what it was.

"Don't worry, it's not poison." You figured it could be counted as retribution in the form of a nice pick-me-up for all the irritation he'd caused you, not to mention the fact that even in your dreams, he couldn't seem to leave you alone. No, Jungkook's presence was something that would slip through the realm of your sleep, the only place you thought you could escape him.

You sipped slowly, and the drink inside the cup made a quick and favorable acquaintance with your tongue. The contents were something you'd be able to identify separately, but when combined, they were delicious and elusive all at once.

"Wow, this is great!" The smile escaped faster than a spilled cup of water, and before you could clean the messy evidence of your gratitude, Jungkook returned the same smile, but his wasn't a spill; his smiles were never an accident, and you could almost resent him for it.

Almost.

"You like it, huh? Didn't take you to be a fan of sweet things." Both pairs of eyes were taken by the scenery just on the other side of the window decorated with streaks of the fallen dew drops.

His pride was untamed, and you assumed it was because Jungkook never took any action to dilute his own conceit. You liked to imagine how often Jungkook could arm himself with that smile, that laugh, which you were not too blind in your own despise to admit were both conventionally attractive assets of his, and everyone in a ten foot radius would fall into his hands. The world seemed to rest in his hands, and all he had to do was smile.

Not you, though. You were certain you had polished yourself with enough perspective so you wouldn’t be foolish enough to let something as shallow as a charming smile fracture your walls. Though, it was increasingly frustrating, verging on the point of catastrophe, how difficult it was to convince yourself of this and to ignore the image of his smile, sneaking its way to the forefront of your thoughts after brushing it off seconds before.

It was overcast, and the grey from the sky had permeated along the air below, yet it didn't puncture the vibrancy of the ever-extending grassy plains. They seemed to continue on forever, as if you walked out to the horizon it would take an eternity to find the end of the green landscape. The wind acted as music to which each blade of grass had been dancing an instinctive choreography.

And every so often, a patch of flowers would appear, perform its part, then disappear just as quickly.

For a moment, you wondered what Jungkook thought of the small bits of the world this window was displaying. Did he think it was just as beautiful as you did?

"It's honey, cinnamon, and milk. My mom used to make it for me when I was a kid." Though the view was timeless, you finally broke your gaze to look at Jungkook.

It was hard to imagine this man, the harbinger of almost every ounce of anger you have ever felt in your life, as a child who would drink milk with honey and cinnamon made by his mother. But then again Jungkook's face began to change, or at least the way you saw it morphed into something entirely different.

His bright eyes didn't look like they could be from this world. Not when they seemed to hold everything in his line of vision within them so warmly that it could spread magic over everything around him; like a fairy tale, but this magic rested in the two sockets of his eyes. Something so enigmatic made you want to snap at him just so he would look at you instead, and hold you in his eyes. As though to be held by his eyes would fix all your problems.

"Hm." You looked down at the cup, trying to savor each sip however ultimately failing since the honey melted in with the milk and perfectly heightened each flavor.

Without thinking, you wrapped the coffee-colored coat tighter around your body. It was blissful, sipping a cup of delight inside Cart 102, protected from the prickly wind of the winter while still being vended a view of its beauty. This train ride was almost perfect, if not for the (slightly less) bothersome burden that sat across from you.

"Looks good on you." He didn't have to specify he was referring to his jacket that was giving you comfort.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't-"

"Nah, keep it. You looked cold when you were asleep. You were shivering so much it basically sounded like you were begging for my jacket." Jungkook laughed softly.

Maybe two hours ago you would have been brimming with enough rage to rip his jacket off of you and throw it in his face because it sure sounded like he was pitying you or guilting you into a 'thank you' that you were too petty to relinquish. But now, in the morning that tamed you, stomach digesting a tasty drink given by none other than Jungkook, you let it slide.

Just this once, you thought.

"Well, that was very kind of you. And thank you for the drink, but I don't need some stranger doing me any favors."

"Wow, you sure are stubborn!" He laughed again, even though you had been nothing but uninviting of his advances, he just laughed.

"Am not." You muttered.

"Whatever you say." Just this once, you let him have the last word. Just this once.

One emptied cup of Jungkook's special later and you were energized enough to read, and hopefully retain the story rather than flipping mindlessly through the pages while you fueled your attention with rage.

Jungkook was busying himself, putting thought to paper. The quick ticks of his pencil against the wooden table was enough to earn him a passive-aggressive sigh from you, and you hoped he was perceptive enough to get the hint.

The ticks continued, even spaced out to a consistent pace as if he was beating a drum just to anger you. Your annoyance was once again brimming over, ready to spill into another display of it that consisted of a furrowed brow, a scowl, and a slew of incoherent retorts that had been brewing in your mind.

"Can't you write any quieter?" It hadn't measured up to all the clever insults you had loaded into your verbal weaponry, but it did the job to convey your frustration which obviously hadn't been communicated through your previous sigh.

"I'm not writing, actually! I'm trying to figure out the time signature for this piece. Three-six just isn't right." The pencil once tapping out a rhythm was now tucked between his teeth, and you could tell this was a habit of his from the various other tooth-shaped indents along the end of the pencil.

"Whatever, just... do it quietly."

"Quietly? This process is anything but quiet."

"Then try your very hardest."

"I'll try. Emphasis on try."

Though your eyes had reunited with your book, your curiosity pledged allegiance to what Jungkook was writing on his paper. It took an effortful battle between your urges and your restraint to finally ask him.

"What's a time signature?"

"Kind of like a rhythmic guide. For music. I'm a composer, and I'm hoping I can get this fellowship to work with professionals all around the world!" Jungkook's response came almost immediately after your question and his answer consisted of more information than you asked for, which meant this was something he was passionate about. Either that or he just loved talking about himself. It could have easily been both.

However, from the way his eyes held the world, they seemed to hold the music etched onto his paper the tightest. Like, if he were to let go then he would lose any and all purpose to hold on to anything else.

"You make music? Like songs on the radio and stuff?"

"No, not really. Songs for movies. I want to be a film composer."

"Oh. Is that why you're traveling? To study with a professional?" You surprised yourself more than him with that question.

"No... I, um. I wish that was the reason." Before asking him what his reason was, you stopped yourself from letting yet another question slip from your mouth.

Because you were supposed to hate him. Jungkook made everything difficult, even the notion of hating him was made to be a challenge. Asking him questions, learning about him, making the person in front of you turn into something with more dimensions than two was pointless when in a couple days, you'd leave this train and never see him again. Better to go back to hating him.

It wasn't as satisfying as before. Now that you've acquired some knowledge of who he was beyond an obnoxious seat hog and arrogance asshole, the reasons to hate him were beginning to be outweighed by all the other reasons to not hate him.

So far, you learned he was a musician. A passionate up and comer who gives strangers his jacket when they look cold, and shares a drink of milk and honey and cinnamon because it reminds him of his childhood. Someone who has made biting his pencil into a habit when he was working through a thought, who would often stare out windows and saw all the stars you couldn’t; someone who was quick to try to make friends with even the most emotionally withdrawn people.

Shortly after taking more time than planned on recounting all the things you learned about Jungkook, you felt indebted to him since he only knew two things about you. 

You were stubborn and you had a sick mom. Or at least, you believed these were the only parts of yourself he picked up on. The rest were things he’d observed with an attentive eye of which you had not noticed had been studying your mannerisms in the same way you studied his. 

When you left the cart abruptly after he mentioned the thunderstorm that was somehow delayed for tonight, he was correct to assume it was because you were afraid of the storm. Now, whether it was the thunder or lightning that rattled you so viciously you had to walk off your fear was yet to be discovered. Jungkook was confident he’d figure it out.

Or, how he watched you when you were sleeping in a way he wouldn’t describe as creepy since it was endearing to see you sleep. In fact, he was doing his best to ignore you, but your muffled groans had revealed to him you were the type to have the occasional nightmare. Again, the dream itself was something he was more than interested in discovering.

And your adorably executed performance of passive aggression didn’t evade him in the way you presumed it did. He heard the sigh and understood exactly what you were attempting to accomplish with that, but decided to act like your effort to shut him up wasn’t completely transparent. Mostly because he wanted you to ask him what he was doing. 

Jungkook wasn’t ready to admit it yet, but he enjoyed the way you spoke, even if it was drenched in a thick layer of annoyance. For now, he decidedly stuck with finding innocuous ways to fall back into a conversation with you, to slowly but surely learn all that he could in this three-day train ride. 

At half-past three, lunch had been served, consumed, and digested. Jungkook’s plate, however, was just short of being completely gone. Everything had been notably ravaged by him except for the pile of walnuts he picked out of his salad at the beginning of the meal.

“Not a fan of walnuts?” You convinced yourself this question came from a place that was starting to feel queasy from the silence that was more intoxicating than the small glass of complimentary wine you downed a little too quickly. 

“Allergic. Nothing too serious, though. My throat gets itchy and sometimes I get a rash on my skin.” You made a mental note that Jungkook was allergic to walnuts, which you stored in the part of your brain that harbored knowledge that was completely useless to you yet you still reserved space for it to be memorized.

“That sucks.” 

“Yeah, but it did come in handy when I was in class and didn’t want to be. I’d tell the teacher the cafeteria food had walnuts in it and I needed to go home and get my EpiPen before I died.” The list of things you knew about Jungkook continued to lengthen, and you couldn’t specify when it happened, but you began to enjoy every detail that made the list grow. 

You wouldn’t have guessed it would take a single day for you to wish it would never stop growing. But then again, you didn’t realize this at the time.

“And that worked? Sounds like you had your luck laid out for you from the beginning.” Jungkook smiled at this, the same bunny-toothed smile from yesterday, but it felt much different to you now, as if you were one smile away from forgetting your once insistent hatred of Jungkook. 

“Yeah, I guess so. What about you? What are your allergies?”

“Other than overly friendly weirdos on trains? Nothing.” It was the strangest reaction to feel proud, of all things, when you were rewarded by his laugh. It was softer than the wind rushing against the side of the train, however his laugh outperformed every other sound in the surrounding area until it was all your ears could focus on.

“Then it seems you’re the lucky one. No allergies. Free to eat whatever you want.” His eyes parceled between the sheet music in his hands and you. Though, it was difficult to pull them back down to his work since this was the first time he had your undivided attention that was not born from annoyance or repulsion to whatever he was doing. 

“I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m free to eat whatever. I have standards.”

“Really?” It was his not-so-discreet way of trying to capture all the pieces of you that he could, but from your slow intake of air, it seems as though you weren’t entirely finished with talking to him either.

“Cilantro. It’s absolutely disgusting. And mushrooms. I can’t stand mushrooms.”

“I love mushrooms.” Of course, you do, you thought. He didn’t have to say it, but he most likely loved cilantro as well. And you were most definitely right. 

“I suppose you love everything I hate?” Eye contact with Jungkook was more than you could handle ever since his mannerisms stopped annoying you and started intimidating you, so you found refuge in the scenery beyond the window. It never failed you during the day, but at night you would have to scavenge for something to stare at when Jungkook’s eyes were close to stealing your breath away. 

“I suppose you hate everything I love.” 

It took a careful eye to catch the subtle hints of emotion that even you were too distracted to notice. Jungkook’s eye was trained pretty well in observation of the hidden traces of even the most thoroughly subdued emotions. His eyes were so well versed in gathering the scarce evidence of emotions that it prompted him to ask his next question:

“What are you looking for?”

Now, your eyes were still averted by his, so you held on to the slowly fading daylight while you still could. But, sadly, the window was a distraction of sight, not sound, so you heard his question loud and clear and felt obligated to give him an answer. Even if your answer was pathetic.

“Just looking at the grass. It’s pretty.”

“I didn’t ask what you were looking at, I asked what you were looking for.” 

Determining what emotion you let slip through the quiver in your lip was a task Jungkook wasn’t well equipped for just yet. In all fairness, he had only known you for a short while and he still felt disappointed in himself for not being able to know what he made you feel with that question. 

“I don’t know.” You couldn’t help the stunned tone of your voice, but that was all that could fuel your words at the moment. “I guess… A distraction. It’s so beautiful out there.”

“Everything looks beautiful when you only have a small amount of time to admire it.” Whatever distraction you were looking for had certainly met your eyes and did its job since you had absolutely no clue he was staring right at you when he said that. That he was savoring the small amount of time he had to admire you.

Jungkook was right, which was a habit of his that he took unrestrained pride in; life was beautiful when you moved through it with such little time to spare. Though slamming your hand in a doorway was something you would sooner do than admitting he was right.

The fabric of time moved in a peculiar fashion when inside a train. You move so fast and yet, not at all, and it is as if there is a tear where the train moves through, and evades the grips of each minute that transports the future into the present and the present into the past. It felt this way the moment you stepped onto the train, so when you checked the time, it didn’t surprise you that it was already an hour before midnight. 

The daytime had slowly melted away, carefully, the way ice shrunk inside a glass of water until it combined with its surroundings, and the plains of grass could only exist in your memory right now. The blackness of night consumed everything beyond your window once again, though there was the occasional streetlamp that provided a glimpse of everything you couldn’t see as of now. 

What you couldn’t see was nowhere near as frightening as what you were about to hear. 

The first flash of lightning felt like a warning. It took a few seconds for the wretched boom of thunder to follow, which was the interval of time you foolishly hoped it would, just this once, fail to accompany that streak of light. That perhaps this train moved quick enough to outrun the storm.

“___? Are you okay?”

You didn’t notice your hands had immediately cupped your ears until Jungkook’s voice was filtered through as a jumble of indiscernible noises.

“Sorry, I just…” Steadying your breath was a toll that required an upfront payment of all your attention, so your previously muted voice and steady tone had gone out of the metaphorical window, along with the rest of your response.

“So it’s the thunder.” Jungkook said softly to himself. It didn’t matter since your hands were being utilized as makeshift earplugs. They seemed to deflect every sound except for the thunder that punctured through your barrier effortlessly. 

Before, Jungkook had this preconception of you. From the minute he stepped into Cart 102, he could tell you were the type to carry yourself steadily, the type that supplied their own assurance and isolated their emotions in the same way you isolated yourself. But here you were, hands clamped against your ears, eyes pressed shut and body shaking; this was a surplus of emotions you let seep through your walls. It was expressive enough for any dimwitted onlooker to know exactly what you were feeling: pure fear. 

And Jungkook had always been adept to telltale signs of what was buried beneath the obvious emotions. He could tell you wanted to be distracted. You needed help.

It was easier to stifle one sense if you stifled them all at once. If you didn’t want to see, you had to plug your ears and hold your breath. And in this case, to block out the sound, you had to shut your eyes and numb the rest of your body in the slim chance that the thunder wouldn’t penetrate through your poorly constructed firewall. 

Suddenly, you felt the space beside you sink lower which meant Jungkook had taken the liberty of invading your space at the worst possible time. It was difficult to focus on blocking out the sound when you could feel the side of his shoulder bump lightly against yours. 

“___.” You shifted towards him slowly, waiting for his explanation of why he was on your side of the cart. “Can I touch you?”

You were past your wit's end, spending the last bits of your sanity trying to calm yourself from the second crash of thunder that made your body lift from the seat for a solid two seconds. All you could do was nod, and hope he wasn’t a serial killer that was about to strangle you to death in a moment of vulnerability. 

He was working in your favor, just like when he wrapped you up in his coat and set that cup of milk in front of you, he moved in determination to comfort you. And if it weren’t for the dire circumstances, your pride would have refused the security of his arms that were carefully enveloping your body and eliminating the frigid space around you. You hadn’t realized how cold this train was until you were invited into Jungkook’s warmth. He had somehow silenced the storm, and all you had to do was let him. 

The third blast of thunder pushed you deeper in his embrace, and you wrapped your arms around him tightly like the lifejacket he was that kept you from slipping below the surface of the angry ocean currents. 

“If you couldn’t tell I-” Boom, “I hate thunder.” Your voice came out strained through the fear-induced filter lodged in your throat.

“No, actually, I couldn’t tell at all.” Nine out of ten of your thoughts were concentrated on the thunder, and that one exception was applied towards how annoyingly sarcastic Jungkook managed to be through thick and thin. It was impressive enough that he could subtract the fear even by a small fraction for you to laugh. 

“You’re so-” Boom, “You’re insufferable.”

His laugh was noticed through the gentle bounce of his chest that rocked your head more than the actual sound of it. Soon, a hand came to run through your hair and with each stroke, he somehow removed your terror layer by layer until you were afforded with indifference to the storm simply because you were lulled into a half-sleep and were now too exhausted to care about the thunder. 

“You’re okay. Everything is okay. You’re doing great. Breathe deep.” His chest smelled the same as his coat. A fire burning so brightly, sending the aromas of everything it consumed into the air.

Now your attention belonged to the warmth of his arms, and how he moved his hand through your hair with something deeper than kindness. It was selflessness because he too was scared and tired and in need of rest. Despite this, he used the last of his energy to ward off the threat of a second panic attack. 

“Thank you.” You whispered into his chest, and it seemed as though it permeated through his flesh and ribs and absorbed straight into his heart from the way he held you even tighter. 

The storm had settled, and the horrors of loud thunder were abandoned for quite some time now, but it felt too comfortable, too perfect for you to be anywhere else but here in his arms. So, what went unsaid was more than enough for him to retract any intention to return to his seat and instead hold you against his chest, where his heart would retain strength from being close to you. 

You couldn’t tell if you had already slipped into a dream when you heard him singing softly, or if the melody of Dream a Little Dream of Me was actually being crafted by his voice so beautifully and fell into perfect synchronization with the rhythmic beat of his heart. Either way, you were thankful to bear witness to a sound that reduced the idea of thunder down to something that could never hurt you again, and instead made seeing all the stars the heavens could offer possible even through the darkest nights. You felt a well of tears moisten your cheeks.

In his arms, with his voice, you could see the stars.

Back in the dimmed hallway of the train, you could make out the outline of a figure standing in the distance, waiting for you. Waiting, but about to run out of time. You saw her slowly disappear the way wind would rustle the dying leaves off a tree in autumn. Slowly her body was wilting, disappearing, and the wind only picked up speed. 

All you could think to do was run to her, your mother, the shell of a woman you had known and loved your whole life. Her frail body being stripped of flesh as easily as wind undresses a tree of its leaves until there is nothing but branch and bone.

The walls began to close again, and you knew you had to act faster. You had to push past the pressure of closing walls even if they were squeezing so tightly movement became impossible. All at once, the impossible became your burden to redesign into something possible, which was the only thing crushing your spirit more than these damn walls.

You were so close; you held your hand out and—

Day Two

Winter mornings always start the same. Your eyes began rediscovering sight before the rest of your senses flooded into function, then your stomach would get angry for digesting nothing but its own acid until you filled it. And just like yesterday, your pillow cushioned beneath your head on the seat and your body shielded from the rogue winter winds that snuck inside of your cart by the same bonfire scented coat.

“Rise and shine.” Jungkook said from behind the sheet music he was examining. He must have been stealing glances of you every five minutes or so to catch the moment you’d finally wake up.

“Time?” Part of you didn’t want to get up. Part of you, the more persuasive part, wanted to remain tucked under Jungkook’s coat and slip back into a light sleep. If it weren’t for the hot drink waiting for you on the table then you would have done just that.

“Nine. A little later than yesterday.” You sat up eventually, wrapping the coat around you, and for a moment life was comfortable on the train. So much so that you didn’t mind how your hair was in complete disarray. 

Jungkook enjoyed seeing you this way. When you had first woken up and didn’t wear the usual veil of detachment from the rest of the world. Your guard had surrendered to your sleep ridden body. He guessed very few people saw you like this, natural and raw and untouched by the pressure to be presentable, and counted himself lucky, just like you would say, to be one of those few.

“Thanks, again.” You said softly into the warm cup between sips. “How much?”

“No. It's okay.”

“But-”

“Seriously! Don’t mention it.” He was firm, but that didn’t stop the gentle smile that crept its way back onto his face. You didn’t know what to say other than the thanks you had already said, so you just kept drinking. It was still just as delicious, but today familiarity was peppered into the milk among the honey and cinnamon which gave it that much more reason to love it.

“You get up this early every day?” You asked, because you were at a loss for words but felt less comfortable without hearing his voice to accompany the brisk, quiet morning. 

“Usually I do. I like the morning. It feels like I have the world to myself before everyone else wakes up.” Charming. It was the last thing that came to mind when you would picture Jungkook. Now, however, it seemed to be the only characteristic that came to mind when you thought of him. 

Sitting in front of you, half mindedly scribbling notes onto the staff and half his attention expended on sharing the small ways he saw the world, he was just charming. As easily as he once drove a blunt edge of annoyance into your chest, he erased every bit of evidence that he could ever be anything but charming.

“Sorry to steal the morning from you. I gotta wake up sometime.” You felt entirely unpracticed in the realm of light, friendly conversations, and that was evident from the way you wanted to gag at your own response to his. What you thought was a tasteless, almost pathetic attempt at banter was, to Jungkook, another reason to enjoy the morning. 

“I’m glad it’s you that I have to share it with.” Jungkook certainly sat higher on the hierarchical scale of wit compared to you, but even that didn’t agitate you in the way it would have before. What was more shocking than that was the fact that you felt the muscles in your cheeks changing your flat lipped expression into a smile.

“Flattery gets you nowhere, Jungkook.” You responded that way only to save face. It was a habit of yours you didn’t realize you were doing until the words had already been deployed by your tongue.

“It seems to have gotten me a smile from you. Those are hard to come by.” You jerked your head quickly over to him, the same grin stained with smugness there to meet your surprised ‘o’ shaped mouth. 

He was right again. Your smiles have always been punctuated lately, but you were too busy paddling through every distraction available to even notice.

“Very funny.” Your voice was low enough for Jungkook to nearly miss it. Once the soft tone of your voice delivered to his ears, he looked away from his sheet music to mine through your face like a cavern, searching for the hidden bits of the treasure-like emotions strewn in along the subtle details. 

“What’s wrong?” It was a leap of faith, his question, a leap that sent him plummeting blindly into the depths of everything he craved to know about you. 

“That thing you said the other day.” Your expression was unreadable to the whole world. But inside the train, the whole world rested just on the other side of the window. There was no reason to come off as impassive, cold, or unconcerned, to care so much about trying not to care. “About going home.”

“Mhm?” You waited to see if he had anything to say, anything to stall what was about to escape from your lips. You knew it wouldn’t take long for your thoughts to go rogue, especially when he made you smile like that. 

“I’m angry.” He gave you a look that said ‘no shit’ without having to actually say it. It made you nervous, but still willing to go on. “You're right. I didn’t visit home ever until now. I thought I grew out of it. I thought I became someone too big to fit in a town so small and stuck in its way. But I was never too big, I don’t think I ever actually grew. Because when I got the call, after stupidly ignoring it a hundred times before, I felt like the same child. So scared of the idea of a world without their mother. So, yeah, I’m angry. I’m angry I could be arrogant and stupid enough to think I could live the rest of my life never looking back.”

Jungkook just watched you, with those eyes that held the world. His eyes were holding so much right now when they were looking at you. So much weight from a source he couldn’t define with his own intuition. So much weight, he couldn’t understand how you had been shouldering it on your own this whole time, if he couldn’t stand a few minutes holding it now. 

“Going back home.” You scoffed. “It's not about looking back. It was never about that. I think returning to something familiar is almost just as scary as fleeing somewhere new. All your past mistakes and demons that you have to face…”

“Demons. Is that any way to talk about your mother?” It was his way, unique to Jungkook alone, to litter in a bit of lighthearted teasing even when he was supposed to be serious. As if he couldn’t stand to let the air in Cart 102 become too damp with sadness, as if his heart wouldn’t have been able to handle it.

“I made a mistake. I spent too much time away, and now the last way I’ll see her is weak and sick. That’s my demon. My mom was just unfortunate enough to be the arbiter of it.” 

Jungkook wanted to tell you that if he could, he would take all your pain away and send it back into the universe to find someone else to harbor it. Someone who deserved to feel a loss so heavy, because he knew just by looking at you that you deserved none of it. But he held his overly romantic tongue for now in regards to easing you into him smoothly. Since he had come such a long way with you, making gentle strides to win your affection, it would be greedy of him to tarnish that by saying something as outrageous as that, even if that was truly how he felt.

“Come with me. I have an idea.” It would have been easy to refuse him, to swat his hand away and never speak to him again for the rest of the train ride. But what prevails after the wear and tear of expecting the worst and knowing the painful and permanent scars it will leave you is the trust of someone who turned scowls into smiles, who held his hand out to you and waited for you to take it kindly.

Those tales they tell about feeling sparks when you make contact with your soulmate were decidedly wrong. Wrong to you, because when you touched Jungkook’s hand, you felt those sparks nestling under your skin and learning its way through the rest of your body. Wrong, because Jungkook was no soulmate of yours, just an unlikely stranger you met on a train once. 

And yet, you couldn’t help but wonder, you couldn’t help but hope he too felt these sparks that supposedly meant nothing.

Jungkook pulled you into the hallway, which was brighter than the way it looked in your dreams. At the end of the walkway, there was no ghost resembling your mother, and the walls weren’t closing in, and instead of pushing through alone, you had Jungkook holding your hand tightly, and graciously guiding you down.

“This way.” He whispered, and you mimicked the stealth in his voice through the way you muffled the sound of your feet hitting the train floor, which felt less like water and more like sand with him; soft yet solid sand.

You arrived at an unattended area of the train. The only hint of what Jungkook was up to was that grin. That grin was too playful to be a grimace, and too mischievous to be a smile. That grin that you hadn’t noticed you were looking forward to seeing, the same one you could sense you would miss when the train arrived at its destination. That when he grinned, you finally found the courage to return it. Needing no conditions or second guesses, you were just you, somehow smiling on the train that was taking you to your sick mother. And it was all because of him and his stupid, lovely grin.

“What are you doing? Are we supposed to even be here?” 

“Shh, we’ll get caught.” He began to wriggle with the door handle until it opened. 

“So we’re not supposed to be here! Jungkook, let’s go before we get kicked off!” To silence you, he simply held his hand up. You pouted your lip but did as he commanded. 

Inside the door, there was a collection of all the food meant for purchasing. Your assumption was confirmed that Jungkook had no intention of paying for the bags of pretzels and packets of cookies he was stuffing into his pockets. Hands full with quite the assortment of foods, he looked to you and raised his eyebrows.

“What?”

“Come on, put these in your pockets! Hurry.” He held the food out towards you. There was no convincing him to put all the stolen goods back, and there was no convincing yourself to not go along with his sinfully sweet plan. 

The fast-paced walk back to Cart 102 was the most exhilarating thirty-five seconds of your life. Jungkook looked all too calm, like spontaneity fell into his hands naturally or like it was a birthright, belonging to his life from the beginning. Life with Jungkook, even if the short span of time he’d claimed part of yours was fleeting, was the most excited and fearless you had ever felt. 

Jungkook and you emptied the haul of food onto the table. For a second, they went untouched only for the two of you to admire your successfully pirated goods. Then, for the first time on the train you met eyes with Jungkook and laughed.

It was the sort of laugh that exercised muscles in your abdomen you weren’t aware that you had in the first place. The kind that began at the top of a hill, and with one push it was tumbling faster and faster, growing louder and wilder. 

Jungkook was laughing too, a sound which could qualify as the only competitor to surpass the beauty of his singing. And whatever music he was scribing onto the paper would have to be beyond masterful to sound anything close to as immaculate as his laugh.

“I can’t believe we just committed grand larceny.” The words came out of your throat between fits of laughter, eyes now with an abundance of happy tears.

“Woah there, “‘grand”’ is a stretch. I like to think of it as unlawful borrowing.” The rest of the afternoon was spent with celebratory feasting of your unlawfully borrowed goods. Your favorite was the packs of chocolate mints, and Jungkook had cleverly avoided eating them when he noticed how much you liked them. 

When dawn arrived, Cart 102 settled into a comfortable silence, now consisting of you reading your book tempered by a glance out of the window every few pages and Jungkook tapping his pencil against the wooden desk while marking up every blank space on his page. To anyone else, including the likes of you, the page was nothing but a jumble of incoherent scribbles. To Jungkook, it was his next masterpiece; the best idea he made tangible on paper and hopefully soon, audible when someone agreed to commission it.

“Done!” 

His remark startled you, being that there had been no warrant for him to exclaim his progress with the music he was working on. You chuckled softly, closing your book and looking back to Jungkook.

“Done with what?” 

“This song. I know this one will sell. I just know it! It’s perfect.” Jungkook’s passion was bursting past the seams of his body. “I just wish… I wish I had more time.”

“What does that mean?” Again, all he offered was the same grin, and that was all you needed in order to know he wouldn’t be dropping any more hints on the account of your curiosity. 

“It means this train ride is ending tomorrow, and I’ll have too much on my plate to work on anything else. So this right here,” He held up the paper with the same tact one would for a pile of pure gold, “Is my last chance to get my work out there for a while.”

For reasons born from an unidentifiable place, you felt like crying. Last chance. It sounded serious. Something you weren’t ready to know and something he wasn't ready to tell. So, instead of pestering the answer out of him, you let him have his secrets. You let him have all the secrets he had somehow gotten out of you. 

And somehow, you were okay with it. Just this once.

Jungkook said he was taking a quick nap. Quick must mean something entirely different where he was from since it lasted about three hours and counting. For someone who had nothing to do but sit on a train all day, he sure was tired. It would have concerned you had it not been for witnessing how much energy he exerted into writing his music, as if each tap of his pencil required the same amount of energy as running an entire mile.

You were looking out of the window, which looked like it had been coated with tar. The departing sun left no remnants of its light and the moon must have been situated on the opposite side of the train, so it was up to the stars to illuminate your view of the world. But, outside the train was dark. Dark, and almost pitch black.

The first few specks were thought to be a hallucination that bloomed from your own wishful thinking. But soon, there were more and more twinkling lights dusting the sky and that outshined any doubt you had before. The stars were so bright and glimmering clearer than you had ever seen. Only something so beautiful, something that ingrained itself into the grooves of your brain to keep forever, could elicit the gasp that came louder than expected.

“Woah.” It jolted Jungkook awake and you would have felt bad if he weren’t already supplied with three and a half hours of extra sleep. 

“What?” His voice was hoarse from being unused for such a long interval.

“The stars! I can see them! They’re so bright, Jungkook. So bright.” The tears began to form in part from the lack of blinking and in part from how happy you were to see the stars. The same stars your mother was probably looking at and the same ceiling of glitter that loomed protectively over you and Jungkook. They were more than just constellations tonight; they were a celestial map navigating you back home and an astronomical assurance that everything would be okay. Even if the worst happened, everything would be okay.

“They are. They’ve been bright for a while. It took you long enough to notice.” Your smile was not yours to control anymore. It was a small price to pay considering you had a world full of stars to last you a lifetime.

“I guess I haven’t been trying as hard to see them as I thought I was.”

And you turned to him, which was the only thing besides the starlit arena above you and Jungkook and the train you’d rather be looking at right now.

“I can’t wait to go home. I miss it so much.” It was the first time you said it out loud, as well as the first time you were able to admit that to yourself. 

“I’m glad you feel that way. You should feel that way.” 

“Thank you.”

There were a plethora of reasons that prompted that thank you. Far too many reasons that were decidedly unfit for just a single thank you. So, you concluded that the thank you was for Jungkook; for becoming a part of your life. For every decision he made on this train that rearranged your feelings towards him into something pleasant. Something that felt warm and safe.

Tonight, the last thing you saw before slipping away into sleep was all the stars that weren't at your disposal before. Every silvery diamond brandished along the expanding sky was so mesmerizing, you wished you could imprint them into the backs of your eyelids when they eventually lulled you into a calm slumber. That and the memory of Jungkook’s rendition of Dream a Little Dream of Me set on repeat in your head. 

This time, you weren't trapped in the confines of a dark train hallway. You were standing in the middle of a grassy field, laden with a diverse collection of wildflowers. The mellow green hues seemed to lift from the blades of grass, stretching into the air around you.

And your mother was there. She wasn’t being blown away by the wind. Just like the sturdy trunk of a tree, she stood with dignity and conviction at the top of the highest hill that provided a view of your hometown; it was the most beautiful you had ever seen her. 

“Mom!” The way you were running felt more like gliding, or flying even, because you moved through the wind without a bit of resistance. Your body was frictionless and unstoppable. And when you finally fell into your mother’s arms, it was the most freeing feeling in the world. 

“I’ve missed you so much. I thought you were going to leave me.” The blue sky that sealed you and your mom into the earth made a stunning partner for the fields of green underneath you. 

“I’m always with you, darling.”

It was difficult to decide whether the sound of her voice or the sentiment behind it made you cry, so you decided not to decide at all, and instead, you simply let yourself cry. Everything was so beautiful, but still not complete. 

“Mom, I feel like something’s missing.”

“There is.” She responded, but it wasn’t a question. Your mom was not your mom, just a figment herself cultivated by your own mind. She was one with you, and she knew exactly what was missing. 

“Where do I find it?” Her hands cupped your cheeks, just like she would when you were young and crying over a scraped knee.

“You know, love. You know.” 

The wind pulled a gentle melody from the spaces between the leaves. A melody you were quite familiar with and grew to love. It slowed, then everything was silent.

Day Three

Waking up came to you in a hurry, as if you shouldn’t spend another second living life through dreams because today was the last day on the train. The last day you’d spend with Jungkook, and possibly the last time you would ever see him.

It was uncharacteristic of you to feel this way. Disappointed at both yourself and your situation. You knew from the beginning that this was a temporary arrangement, and Jungkook was not a permanent fixture in your life. In fact, you used to be thankful for those circumstances because you hated Jungkook. 

But, of course, you went ahead and let him in. You let him buy you tasty drinks, hold you during thunderstorms, and offer you a coat, a smile, a laugh when everything felt cold. You let him ripple currents of fun into your life, but that would be giving yourself too much credit, you suppose.

Because it was never a matter of allowing him to do any of this. He did all of those things, and more, all by himself.

What was even more uncharacteristic of you was greeting the early morning before Jungkook. He was sound asleep, with skin being lightly freckled by the glints of sunlight shimmering through the gaps in the clouds. The morning sun was always docile, kindly shedding light in a way that wouldn’t pull sweat from your skin like it did in the afternoon.

You liked the sight of him sleeping, mostly because it was one of the few moments of the day when he was completely silent, and those were rare.

“Better take this opportunity.” You whispered to yourself before getting up, covering Jungkook with the coat, and heading to the concession stand you had raided with Jungkook yesterday. 

Wondering if the workers noticed the missing inventory, you idled by the counter before ordering but they all looked too tired to care to serve you let alone realize a quarter of the chocolate mint packs were taken.

“Hi, two warm milks with honey and cinnamon please.” The attendant seemed to appreciate how closely your voice was to a whisper. He sluggishly poured two steaming cups of milk and sleeved them before exchanging them for the money already placed onto the counter. 

“Honey and cinnamon are over at the self-serving station.” You followed to where his finger was aimed towards and nodded politely with the two cups in each hand.

You didn’t know why, but imagining Jungkook making this drink himself, instead of ordering it premade, ranked this act as something more motivated than customary kindness. Because getting these drinks wasn’t simply walking to a stand, purchasing, and walking back to Cart 102. There was now an erroneous step you hadn’t accounted for. The act of making milk with honey and cinnamon. 

As you scooped a spoonful of honey to mix into the creamy liquid, one of your mother’s many proverbs rang in your ears, as if she was standing right beside you saying it.

“When you make food for someone, it’s just another way to express that you love them!”

It froze you for a second. Recalling what she would say when you would throw together a meal for the pair of you when she was too tired to. She worked so hard as a single mother, so every shortcoming felt like a colossal failure, no matter how little it mattered to you. And she would always say that to you because ‘thank you’ just didn’t cut it.

This was the first thing you made for someone other than your mother and yourself. But, there’s no way it was because you loved him. 

Just this once, you thought. Just this once I’ll make food for someone that I don’t love.

You were relieved to greet a still sleeping Jungkook when you returned to your cart. The cart you studied closer, because you were about to leave it and wanted to retain all the details that you could before it became a memory you would only visit when you were feeling reminiscent.

The beige walls, the small table where you would read and Jungkook would compose, the stiff leather seats that you had surprisingly gotten used to, and the large window that gave you a glimpse of the blurry world waiting for you.

Jungkook’s groan snapped you out of your trance. Before he regained full cognizance, you placed the cup in front of him so you’d be able to boast that you had woken up before him and had the morning all to yourself for a moment. That now you were the one sharing the world with him.

“What’s this?” He said groggily. 

“You know.” You tried your best to mirror his smugness, the way he would sip his drink after sending a witty one-liner through the air like it was no big deal to him. 

Before you became lost in the person you changed into with Jungkook, a person that felt more like a fun costume to wear when you didn’t feel like being yourself anymore, the more neurotic and controlling part of you fell back through when you remembered that the measurements of the ingredients might have been off.

Maybe you had gotten the drink entirely wrong, so your deed would shrivel down to a failed act of kindness. Nothing at all your mother would consider a gesture of love. And that was more frightening than any blast of thunder.

“It's delicious.” Jungkook said out of nowhere, almost as though he knew he was interrupting your thoughts. Breaking them down into a powder thinner than flour, so he could blow all your worries away with one puff of air. He wasn’t lying either, it was delicious.

You spent a gracious amount of time and energy avoiding the book you were meant to finish during this train ride. Instead, your efforts were fully consumed by the last person you thought would ever be the center of your attention. At least, you thought if he were going to be the focus of it, then it would have been because you were mentally berating him for reasons that didn’t bother you much at all anymore; in fact, they started becoming admirable.

“If you could run faster than a train, where would you go?” He asked.

“Paris. Or Italy. I'd just have to figure out how to run on water.” You earned a good laugh from Jungkook with that comment. And finally, you felt like you were beginning to find your niche in conversations, and it relied heavily on sarcasm.

“I’d love to see the day when ___ walks on water.” 

“What about you? Where would you go?”

“I would make my legs take me straight to Carnegie Hall and force the organization to play one of my pieces.” Each word was formed by his tongue as if he had that response rehearsed a hundred times over. Jungkook knew exactly what he wanted, and given the chance, he would use any and every asset to get him there.

That alone was why you fell into something deeper than attraction. Why you began to take notice of things about him that weren’t of importance before. And why your intentions to observe how the world designed this man to be so stunningly unique was less cryptic than you’d hoped.

Maybe if you noticed how his white button-up was undone down to his sternum and tucked into the waistband of his slacks tastefully, then your heart would have taken a quicker pace long before now. If you noticed how his jet black hair was gentle and fluffy when it draped over his eyes, then you would have been frustrated with yourself sooner for not seizing the chance to introduce your fingers to its texture. And if you noticed how the ridges along his palm looked perfect to be held in, then you would have savored every second he held you the night of the storm. There was an astonishing number of details about Jungkook, about as many as the stars in the sky, that would have made you mountains more intimidated to even speak with him. 

One of the attendants left all your observations of Jungkook scattered when she peaked her head through to give the two of you an update on your arrival.

“Looks like we’ll be getting in earlier than expected!” In theory, that was a blessing. You’d get to finally deboard the train and be with your mother. Though, you’d be lying if some piece of you wanted this train to continue west until there was no more land to travel on; and if you could, you would redistribute each part of this train to assemble a boat, so you could sail Jungkook across the seven seas. “Our arrival will be in twenty minutes! I hope you both enjoyed your trip.”

And if Jungkook felt the same way, he didn’t show it through his polite smile and nod at the attendant. 

“We’ll be getting off soon.” He said to you, though you could tell it was his way of interrogating your thoughts on the matter.

“Time moved by so oddly on the train. I didn’t even notice it was already day three.” You paused and took one last glance out of the window. “Funny.”

"It's funny,” He began, and you settled into what you knew was about to be another piece of Jungkook's mind served in the form of his delicate words, “when you're inside a train you don't feel like you're moving. Even though you are, of course. You're moving faster than you would outside of a train. But we feel like we are still because we are moving with the train. When you're in a train, you are moving with time too, so it feels rushed and stagnant all at once. When you're not inside, time moves past you. It feels better to move with time, don’t you think? It feels like you could outrun it if you wanted to, or it feels like you will never run out of time at all. That you and time are equals. But soon, we'll have to get back onto the platform, and time will move past us again, and it’ll feel like we’re running out already."

“You’re right.” You finally admitted. “We’re running out of time.” 

We’re running out of time— together, you wanted to say. However, courage and boldness was a currency you weren’t rich in. Unspoken desires and lost hopes were all you had left to tender. 

“Yeah, I guess so. Hey, I-” He hesitated as well, because when you looked at him with such wishful eyes, it made what he had to say entirely too real and all too scary. “I really liked being your travel buddy.” 

You could tell he was holding back too. That everything you wanted to say to him and everything he wanted to say to you wasn’t meant to be translated into words, that exchanging sentimental smiles was all you and he could afford. Instead, it was better to exist through the language of emotions, floating around the train, moving with time, and eventually, when you and Jungkook returned to the world, those emotions would remain with the train and travel beyond your destination. 

That’s why you let them go. Sometimes, a train is only meant to be a train. 

“Me too. Though, I have to admit I hated you at first.” 

“I know.” He grinned as you etched the most accurate memory of it in your brain as you could. 

His stance came unprecedented. The small radio tucked in his bag now sitting on the table, serenading an unfamiliar melody and overtaking the silent air inside Cart 102. Then, came his hand, extended to you just like he had yesterday. Only this time, you didn’t need to wonder what he wanted from you because you would give whatever he asked. 

You took his hand, or rather you gave him yours, and followed his gentle tug until it led you to his body, pressing away all the space once separating the two of you. Jungkook’s hand followed the curve of your waist until it landed at the small of your back while you instinctively rested yours on his shoulder. 

You and Jungkook swayed to the music until all those words about moving with time became real. The way he held you close had you immune to the passage of time. The soft brush of his breath against your cheek felt welcoming, and you would try your very best to remember the way existing felt when your skin was touching his. It was odd, dancing on a train with someone you didn’t know well enough to call a friend but weren’t estranged enough to call an acquaintance. Again, it felt like you were in between two walls, stuck, trying to out-think your way through a collapsing maze of judgement. 

Though, no matter how odd it was, it stopped neither you nor Jungkook from holding onto each other for the last few moments available. 

The train must have hit a rock, one you would like to thank because it knocked the two of you over until you had fallen into his lap, laughing so hard your bodies shook. You would have been uncomfortable in this compromising position if not for the sense of belonging fostered in the empty space in your chest while being in his arms.

Jungkook didn’t notice you were detangling your limbs from his until you were already gone, seated across from him in the same spot. 

Once, he learned in science class of this phenomenon called ‘afterimage’, which is when your eyes get so accustomed to staring at one particular thing that when you look away, the thing stained your vision in the form of a silhouette, like an echo of something your eyes grew so comfortable seeing that it stayed with you, even when you looked away.

And he knew, even when the view of you sitting across from him in this train wasn’t there anymore, he would carry that afterimage of you, always echoing in his vision like a beautiful melody he couldn’t get out of his head. Not that he wanted to let go anyway

It was sour, the cruelty of letting go. When the train began to brake, it felt like a lifetime of agony. A bitter, unforgiving slap in the face courtesy of the confines of reality, stealing you away from the shelter of a train; a place that made it so easy to be swept up in something as dazzling and impossible as magic. You were onto important things, you knew this, but it was nice to live, even if it were just for a bit, inside something as magical as Cart 102, where you could count on a generous supply of warm coats, milk with honey and cinnamon, and Jungkook.

“Well, our stop is here. Hey, how about we share a cab? Why not save some money, right?” You could only nod, because speaking would have led to tears, which would have led to a failed explanation of why you were crying.

Jungkook hailed the yellow vehicle over, the opening of his shirt widened just an inch too much to let your mind wander.

“You’re going to the hospital, right?” He asked.

“Yeah, the only one in town.” You said, knowing the driver wouldn’t need any more specifics than that. This town was so small there were a lot of singular facilities that made the layout equally difficult to be crammed into and easy to memorize. One library, one park, one church, and one hospital.

As Jungkook went to give the driver your destinations, you packed up the luggage into the trunk. Not too long after, you were side by side in the back of a cab. All you could bring yourself to do was gaze out of the window and watch all the familiar scenes of your hometown pass by, each landmark dousing you with a strong presence of nostalgia. 

No matter how sad parting ways with Jungkook was, it was good to be home.

The cab finally arrived at the hospital, and you got out not expecting the other person in the car to get out with you. Perhaps he was being polite and saying goodbye. You knew you would have done the same if his stop preceded yours.

The two of you stood in front of the entrance, gawking up at the tall building that was in desperate need of reconstruction. You turned your gaze over to Jungkook. 

“Where to now, Mr. Jeon?” You asked, since this town was small enough, and you were fluent in every secret hiding spot it had to offer, you might be able to visit him if that wouldn’t come off as too invasive.

“I'm here.” He responded just as ambiguously and ever so matter-of-factly as always. This time, you demanded to know more.

“What? What do you mean?”

“It took a long time to find a doctor that specializes in my condition.” Jungkook finally turned to you, his eyes crowded by tears. “My heart is weak, ___. I came here to get better, and hopefully, I do. I'm going to be a famous composer one day, and I’ll need a strong heart to get me to that point.” 

You felt angry at him again. For not telling you, because it felt less like keeping something from you and more like lying to you. For telling you, and making it sound like it wasn’t a big deal, that it wouldn’t break your heart into pieces weaker than his own.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” It was the harsh snap he expected from you, but he was committed to keeping this a secret until he couldn’t because it was easier that way. 

“I didn’t want to admit it. I’m scared, ___. Really scared. If I don't get better…” 

“Well, you have to! Carnegie Hall is waiting for you and I didn’t waste my time getting to know you for nothing. So, you just go ahead and get better okay?” Your words were coated in anger but layered on top of something compassionate, sweet even. Sweeter than milk, honey, and cinnamon. 

“I’ll try.” He grinned again, knowing it would satisfy you for the time being. Grinning, like a goodbye gift. 

“You’re an idiot, Jungkook.” 

Before you could lose the last word, you gripped your luggage in one hand, the pillow in the other, and made your way into the hospital, leading to what you knew would be countless nights spent at the side of a hospital bed, eating foods you’d rather not eat, and watching daytime cable while taking care of your mother.

What you didn’t know was that a good portion of those nights would be spent with someone else. Someone who resided in the west wing of the hospital. 

Someone who would bring your hand to his heart, and ask you if it felt stronger, and you would always reply with ‘yes’, or ‘yes, you idiot’, even when you were terrified that one day your hand wouldn’t feel the tap of his heart against his chest. Someone who would sing to you in exchange for the times you would read to him. Someone who you would leave notes and small gifts for, his personal favorite being the packet of walnuts accompanied with a folded paper inscribed ‘for when you need to get out of class’. Someone who, when he would be having a particularly difficult night, you’d fall asleep holding hands with, and you’d wake him up with a warm cup of his signature beverage.

Someone you would inevitably begin to fall in love with. 

A month later, one of two people you loved dearly would walk out with you through those hospital doors. That person was Jungkook. And the melancholy of losing your mother to the battle between her and her cancer would also follow you, and stay with you almost as long as Jungkook had.

A year later, you would return, hand in hand with Jungkook. Every two months. It was the promise you sealed onto your mother's gravestone that you would always return every two months. Even if the weather dispatched the most terrifying thunderstorms, or your work piled a stack of paperwork high enough to reach the sky, you’d still return home.

You and Jungkook placed a bundle of wildflowers you picked on the way to her grave, sitting at the top of a grassy highland, at the base of the granite stone. She was overlooking the world, with a perfect view of you; it made you feel safe that she was watching over you, and she was watching over Jungkook and his slowly recovering heart. 

The weather was perfect. The sun blanketed everything beneath it with a generous warmth but didn't restrict the gentle breeze from tempering it. The leaves and grass moved with the wind, but your mother’s tombstone was strong and unmoving, losing no part of herself to the fluid motions of the spring air. 

“I kind of like it here.” He said softly, adorning the view of the hilltop with you. It was the morning, and it didn’t feel like he was sharing the world with you anymore. It felt like it was yours to begin with, and he was just lucky enough to be allowed a part of it. 

“Me too.” One hand was with Jungkook, and the other was with your mother.

“I think it would be a nice place to get married and raise our children. You know, after I become a world-renowned composer and all.” This would have shocked you if you had not been wishing to hear him confirm these dreams of yours for a while now. “Did that scare you? I didn’t mean to be too forward.”

“No, I think this would be the perfect place to live. Only if it's with you.” Because you knew, something was missing here without him. He made this hometown of yours finally complete in the wake of your mother’s passing. 

When you kissed him, he tasted like honey. And he would have told you that you tasted like cinnamon.

It could never scare you, because you were in love.

You were in a debt of gratitude that was deeper than the ocean. There was so much you wanted to say to him.

The town is milk. It is up to you and me, Jungkook, to provide the ingredients that will liven this town of milk into something sweeter, something survivable, something that will continue to sustain a force as powerful as love. Without the honey and cinnamon, all you have is milk. It seems we are the perfect blend of the two to make this bitter place palatable when it hits our tongues. This town needs us together in the same way milk needs honey and cinnamon. 

You didn’t say any of those words out loud. You didn’t need to. All you needed to say was:

“I love you.”

And all he needed to say was:

“I love you too.” 

[ddarker-dreams]

The books on your list seem to be very far from my usual tastes,but i'll leave a few recs here incase you're ever bored and dk what to read!

the poppy war by rf kuang (best book of the last decade i'm not even kidding but check tws tho it's very heavy)

the ones we're meant to find by joan he (a bit confusing but has a very nice vibe)

the fifth season by nk jemisin (it's very popular but for a reason... avoid all spoilers because the payoff is huge!!)

the vanished birds by simon jimenez (not sure how to describe it but it's just very.... it's good. it's very good. i loved it!)

A master of djinn by p djeli clark (very unique!)

the silence of bones by june hur and the bone shard daughter by andrea stewart are unique in their own ways but also have a similar vibe... they're awesome either way

Black sun by rebecca roanhorse (just amazing)

The empress of salt and fortune by nghi vo (the essence of the universe in book form. whatever lies beyond the soul, this touches it)

iron widow by xiran jay zhao... idrk where to start this is just a crazy ass book LMAOO i think that's what makes it so entertaining tho. also love xiran jay zhao's yt videos dissecting east asian influences on popular media

memory police by yoko ogawa (this one might be a little more like what you're used to)

the order of the pure moon reflected in water by zen cho (short and fun with a loveable found family!)

six crimson cranes (a ghibli movie on paper. just very bright and fun)

jade city by fonda lee (ONE OF MY FAVOURITES ON THIS LIST!!! Just so so interesting with amazing worldbuilding and apparently the last book in the trilogy is the best one even if the first is already better than 99% of books ever)

the ghost bride by yangsze chu (this one is a light, lovely read. i have a feeling you'll like it)

these are all fantasy, btw, so i'm sorry 😭😭 but whichever one(s) you choose to read i hope you enjoy it!

OMG you must've put a lot of time and effort into compiling such a long list?? just reading it and sensing your passion for the books made me excited to read them... i do like fantasy!! i don't believe i've heard of any of these books before now, so i'm hype to give them a try. time to run to the library again.

[buaibai]

I got the book yesterday afternoon, and finished it 5 am this morning. It was a pretty good/easy read. I had wanted to write down my thoughts about the story when I finished it, but it was 5 am.

**major spoiler alert**

(also English is not my native language but I’ll do my best to be intelligible.)

For a long time I had been reluctant to read any of the new “canon” of Obi-Wan’s padawan years, because I had grew up with the Jedi Apprentice series, which is fundamental to my understanding of Obi-Wan’s character. The arcs with Bandomeer, Melida/Daan, Xanatos/Bruck, and Zan Arbor were pretty much ingrained in my brain. Personally, it is still a little unsettling to read stories that contradict the JA storyline, but I suspect that, with the help of some mental gymnastics, I might manage to meld the old and new stories into a semi-coherent head canon.

While the apprenticeship described by the Padawan is more TCW compliant, there are quite a few things in the book that are consistent with the JA series:

Obi-Wan as a teenager struggled with self-doubt, despite excelling at saber work and a lot of his studies.

A major part of it was due to Qui-Gon’s mannerism as a teacher (more on this later).

And part of it was likely because (allegedly) Master Yoda had been the one to push them together. Obi-Wan was never chosen.

Obi-Wan, even as a teen, was always, always ready to give his life in order to save others (*unhappy Cody and Anakin noises*).

The new characters as Obi-Wan’s fellow padawan (in particular, Bolla) were quite interesting. I was a little disappointed at the lack of Quinlan, but Siri has made it into this story with a less annoying (sorry) personality (I wonder if she is still a Tachi and if Adi is still her master). The author made it sound like they have different initiate friends than padawan friends, which is an intriguing concept (like going to different elementary schools and middle schools).

And I can’t help but find Padawan Kenobi extremely… cute, for the lack of a better word. In the beginning of the story, he was essentially a very polite ball of anxiety. His interactions with Aces (Aces! He nicknamed his droid Aces!) and the younglings on Lenahra were so endearing it melted my heart. His interaction with animals, plants, and the planet gave me warm, fuzzy Ghibli vibes. Obi-Wan’s realization that the core reason for his struggles were that he cared deeply about everyone and everything, and him making a mental list of useful skills to learn once he’s back in the Temple (and evidently he did learn them), made me smile because they were just so in character of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The part that everyone is talking about - the implication that Obi-Wan might be biromantic and asexual, or at least questioning - I don’t find all that surprising. At least in my head canon, Obi-Wan has always been somewhere on the ace/aro spectrum (though I do love a good ship story, and there are A LOT of those in the fandom), and I consider him more of a pan, in the sense that gender matters little to his attractions, than a bi. But it’s nice to have my head canon more or less confirmed. Also Anakin kinda gave him away in RotS.

The book has also done quite a bit of foreshadowing:

Dooku’s statement that Qui-Gon would’ve joined him if he’d been alive, and Obi-Wan’s conviction that no, actually, he wouldn’t, all made more sense now (the author had also wrote it in a way that suggests that Dooku and Obi-Wan were destined to not meet until AotC, which is interesting).

Upon meeting the inhabitants on the mysterious planet, the first thing Obi-Wan said was hello there and the first thing Obi-Wan did afterwards was losing his lightsaber.

It’s quite clear that Obi-Wan already had a propensity for negotiating (even when the opponents were trying to kill him) and inappropriate comments in life/death situations. As well as his future skill in animal bonding and mind influence. Obi-Wan was also already masterful in finding faults in himself and finding ways to self-recriminate (*frowning in Cody*).

The rumination about the Jedi Council (“they were old” lmao), and the disbelief that Obi-Wan could possibly have an apprentice “worse” than him… Oh he had no idea…

Obi-Wan giving himself to the Force instead of trying to use it reminds me of Dooku’s observation of him in the Force in RotS - a vessel of the Force, a window where light shines through. The part where Obi-Wan let go, is also reminiscent of him letting go in the midst of his fight with Vader on Mustafar, allowing the Force to dictate his actions.

Obi-Wan’s decision to dedicate his life to following the Force regardless of his status as a Jedi, his desire to help everyone in the galaxy, and his love of the Jedi, the Temple, and Coruscant… I didn’t know it’s possible for me to feel even sadder about his fate...

(Speaking of which, I was also curious about the ominous financier who had wanted to harvest the Power to use against the Jedi - was he Darth Plagueis?)

Okay. On the topic of Qui-Gon Jinn (apologies in advance for the long rant ahead). I severely disapprove of his attitudes and decisions in the JA series, but I didn’t hate him as a character, because we were made aware the underlying psychological trauma contributing to his flaws. Though it does not exonerate his mistreatment of the one child dependent on and looking up to him, I at least understand him to be emotionally compromised. The Qui-Gonna Jinn in Padawan, however, even though it was later attributed to Obi-wan’s misunderstanding, seemed just inherently (and frustratingly) inscrutable, without any good reasons beyond his personality and teaching style. There were indeed some good moments (and Obi-Wan was apparently secure enough to find him annoying (lmao), unlike the JA Obi-Wan), but there were also points at which I wanted to tell him to please just talk to your kid. I do get the let-the-child-work-out-their-own-issues method and even some of its potential benefits, but at least provide them with the assurance that they will have a place by you even if they do not succeed for the moment? So much of Obi-Wan’s anxiety and insecurity (and the resulting downward spiral that blocked him from the Force in the first place) were simply because he’d felt misplaced due to his perceived failure to connect with his Master - are they really necessary to teach Obi-Wan to trust the Force? After all, the two years of temple-bound meditation administered by Qui-Gon had done Obi-Wan no good, and he would’ve been stuck still if not for this self-imposed rebellious mission. It just seemed like lazy teaching. Also, had he no concern for the kid’s safety? I kept thinking that it was entirely feasible for Qui-Gon to track Obi-Wan to the planet; he’d told him which trial to follow and it would only take a trip to the Archive to find out. It seemed like Qui-Gon trust the Force so much that if Obi-Wan ended up dead, it would be the Will of the Force and therefore fine with him. And to think that, when faced with certain death, the two thoughts on Obi-Wan’s mind were 1) hoping his last act would help his friends, and 2) hoping Qui-Gon wouldn’t feel guilty about his death after he’d found out… I guess Qui-Gon did canonically enter a nine-year-old Anakin in pod race, so there is no way around his disregard for the safety of his charges. I don’t know if I like this version of Qui-Gon any better than the one from the JA series.

And a (major) part of it was because I severely dislike tardy people.

On the bright side, I like this version of Dex and Obi-Wan first meeting much more - a friend from a shared adventure and not just a friend of his master’s. I don’t remember if Dex’s former occupation as a weapon dealer was canon, so I was a little confused by him identifying as a miner in the book (though he was responsible for handling the mining bombs). I hope to read more of Obi-Wan’s adventures involving Dex because I really enjoyed his character.

The part of the story where Obi-Wan reflected on the power the Jedi were given, which necessitated the structure and rules they were bound by, I thought was really good. I know many people dislike the Jedi for their rigidity, specifically the no attachment rule, but there were practical and historical reasons for their implementations, namely to make sure the Jedi use responsibly the power they were given instead of wielding their privileges freely. No attachment simply means no attachment above duty, it does not equate forbiddance of love and compassion. And if one chooses something else over duty, they are free to leave and welcome to visit, just as what Qui-Gon had said about Dooku (which is another part of the story I really liked). It’s only when someone (*ahem*) secretly keeps a marriage vow on top of the Jedi vow that it becomes a problem. The downfall of the Jedi, in my humble opinion, had much more to do with its ties to a corrupt senate, than any one of its restrictions.

Overall, I liked the book. It’s well-paced and insightful in places. I think the most prominent and lasting impression I will have of the story is OBI-WAN INTERACTING WITH DROIDS AND YOUNGLINGS AND ANIMALS AND PLANTS AND A WHOLE PLANET OMG HE SO CUTE!!!

(sorry life is just really stressful rn.)

[simplyotometrash]

Songs I Associate Them Wtih

This is just for the brothers at the moment!

Lucifer:

I'm a big video game lover. One of my favorite series is Xenoblade Chronicles. For Lucifer, and I've no clue why, I always think of him when I listen to Shadow of the Lowlands from Xenoblade Chronicles 2. Every single time I listen to that song he pops into my head. If you haven't heard it before, I highly recommend giving it a listen!

I also have always associated him with the song Wretched and Divine by Black Veil Brides! It just screams Lucifer to me. There's something about it that sits with all the brothers but with him the strongest.

Mammon:

What's My Age Again by Blink 182 beyond a shadow of a doubt. When it pops up on my playlist, my brain goes to Mammon. It fits him so well it hurts! The entire vibe of the song works well with our dearest Mammon.

Another song I think of Mammon when I hear is Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous by Good Charlotte. I can't quite put my finger on what it is that makes me think of him. I'd love to know what you guys think, though.

Levi:

I'm not gonna use any anime songs here because that is way too easy. First Date by Blink 182, though, is what I'd imagine would be playing if he were getting ready for his first date with MC. Like, it would be in the soundtrack to his life if his life were a movie.

Okay no. I lied. I've been working on this for two months now and it finally hit me. The Cruel Angel's Thesis from Neon Genesis Evangelion. He would bop to this song so hard. It's a great song and now I can just imagine Levi jamming out to it in his bedroom.

Satan:

Merry-Go-Round of Life from Howl's Moving Castle. God, this song. It's among my favorites, especially out of the vast, beauteous songs that Studio Ghibli soundtracks have to offer. This song's vibe is entirely Satan. It works for him so well. I imagine him in his room or the library, sipping tea, and reading a book.

But I also pair him with the song The Anthem by Good Charlotte. Imagine it: angsty, teenage Satan blasting this song because Lucifer (dad) pissed him off or someone compared the two of them. It just works.

Asmo:

Hikaru Nara by Goose House from Your Lie in April. The song, anytime I hear it, makes me think of Asmo. He's going about his day, doing his makeup, shopping, what have you, and he's listening to this wonderful opening song on his phone.

Check Yes, Juliet by We The Kings. It's another song I can hear as being a part of the soundtrack of a character's life. It suits Asmo. He lives life for the present. Also just imagine him singing this outside of MC's window. My Asmo loving heart can't handle it!!!

Beel:

This one I really can't explain but Tank! from Cowboy Bebop. I really have no idea why. There's no rhyme or reason. I love this opening a lot and for some reason it makes me think of Beel. So now I associate it with the big teddy bear.

Honey and the Bee by Owl City. This is honestly one of my favorite Owl City songs of all time and the tone of it, the softness, the love, it all makes me think of sweet Beel. This is the song that plays in his head when he looks at MC.

Belphie:

Adam's Song by Blink 182. Can you tell I have a band bias? Usually, that would be Green Day but not for this list. The tone and the way it hits is all around Belphie. This ball of angst would be listening to it on repeat on bad days.

The choral version of The Destruction of Laputa from Laputa: Castle in the Sky. It's hauntingly beautiful and is my absolute favorite Studio Ghibli song. Everything about this from the sound to the feel is all Belphegor all the way. It's sad but brings forth a sense of hope, in my opinion.

[neetols]

hi i just wanted to say i absolutely adore your art!! there's so much warmth and nostalgia in each piece and it's really beautiful. i don't know much about art, but the colors you choose and the body positions/facial expressions you create give me studio ghibli vibes (if that makes any sense). it's all very soft and hazy and comfy. i can tell that you put a lot of love and care into all of your work and i really really appreciate it!! the family au in particular has like renewed my hope in the world and people so thank you for that lol

Waaah thanks so much! I really appreciate messages like these you're so sweet 🤧