#that is why this posts seems a bit

[shakingparadigm]

they are sooooo cute

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.

This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.

This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.

But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.

I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.

I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.

I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.

I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.

[cashmere-caveman]

ned little voted most likey to get dealt a big losing hand 1845-48 (more terror text post memes)

[swordmaid]

brienne but she's wearing 1949 cocteau's beauty and the beast inspired fit!!! this is the inspo pic i used if ur curious.

gonna be posting more of this redesign thing (and also jaime's ver) some time in the future but i just wanted to share this one <3

[crabsnpersimmons]

CRAB IS YOUR MOON OKAY WITH HUGS?

PLEASE THIS GUYS NEED SOME AFFECTION

LET ME JUST-

GHHHHHH-/pos

[scr4py4rd]

gabe doodle

[whoify]

i actually truly genuinely dislike the “all of doctor who is bad” stance that seems popular nowadays. like people will be like “sure heaven sent or scherzo are Objectively Good but the rest of doctor who is Bad and i love it.” and sure, stories like heaven sent and scherzo stand out bc they do something different and do it well, but i’m of the belief that every doctor who story has something to offer, and just because something isn’t in the top 1% of all of dw doesn’t mean it’s Bad.

and that’s without even getting into how much i dislike praise/criticisms that begin and end with “this thing is Good/Bad.” that could mean one million things please say more

[paragal]

Manitober day 4: Ze Haus / Manifoldland

(I totally didn’t 3D model an entire Manifoldland replica for this, no sir)

[malcontentonline]

hiii, I already adored your art from the comic of metal and hoki and married Kkgai - and to now see you put kkgai in founders time is giving me so much dopamine 💥 any chance you could elaborate on the dynamic between Madara and Gai ? :] how does he interact with the other founders ?

thank you very much for the kind words!!!

(Sorry I took so long to answer this I wanted to finish a lil comic I’ve been working on that basically contains what would have been the first meeting of madara and gai in the fic but that is going to take a fair bit longer so I hope you don’t mind me just answering with some doodles)

first up the dynamic between the founders, gai and kakashi is as follows:

The black haired guy at the top middle is kakashi he actually is in disguise most of the story because he’s trying to be really careful and not alter the timeline too much.

This causes its own set of problems when gai after being told by kakashi to stay put and not interact with anyone (gai was not meant to join kakashi in the past and they weren’t meant to go back so far so kakashi is a bit disoriented) mistakes madara for his eternal rival and interferes with an ambush to help him escape unscathed. Madara witnesses here the 6th gate for the first time and decides to kidnap gai and keep him as a prisoner until he’s figured out what the heck gai did to spontaneously get stronger.

Gai tries to figure out the lest future changey way of escaping and finding the real kakashi while madara tries to figure out gais deal generally. Eventually gai agrees to spar with madara on the condition that madara sends people to search for his rival.

Their sparing matches are actually really interesting! Gai is exceptional at countering the sharingan but madara is a far more experienced fighter both of them are a fan of a good fight so they actually end up growing closer through these fights (this relationship development would actually have been a large part of the story)it doesn’t help that they both remind each other of their respective rivals, so they sort of fall into a closer relationship than they would naturally because they both miss them so much.

Their would likely be dashes of madagai in this story but ultimately they’re not each other’s endgame so it would only really manifest in like madaras musings about what a world where they got together might look like. As well as the occasional crisis of faith from gai where he weirdly feels like he’s cheating on kakashi despite them not actually being together till the end of the story.

So yeah hopefully that illuminates the dynamic a bit more :]

here are some silly doodles:

[spookygibberish]

I've sort of developed a strange relationship with the concept of "realism" in the things I make.

Something I was very into as like, an eleven year old (im not implying this was immature to be into, just that it was formative for me), was speculative biology specifically for dragons, and now, specifically in the case of dragons I find a lot of attempts to make them biologically plausible fully missing the appeal of dragons at all.

Thinking specifically about the supernatural elements of JoM and where the line is drawn. The dagnyds are made from the remains of godlike entities, and are not entirely earthly animals. They have a supernatural origin. It would be fully justified in giving them magic abilities or making magic an aspect of the setting, but have absolutely zero interest in doing so. It doesn't interest me. I think about shit like healing powers or glowy energy attacks and my reaction is just "what does this even add? Why do I need this? Does this make things more interesting?" And it simply doesn't. Healing is more interesting as a prolonged process, combat is more interesting with teeth and claws and metal and blood. These are options which are more realistic, closer to real life, but the realism isn't what makes them interesting: it's physicality.

When I design a creature for this world, I am not thinking about making it biologically plausible, and yet, I try to design things which look like they could 'move under their own power'. There is a sense of heft and mechanical "soundness" which I value more than realism, but often also aligns with looking 'realistic'.

I would say that it's better to serve a narrative than strive for absolute realism, but I don't actually write stories, although I do have ideas for them occasionally. I guess a version of this which is more relevant and applicable is that i prefer to strive for a particular vibe.

[asmotheavatarofhorny]

Clingy 💛

• Mammon x GN!MC

• Lots of cuddles described in great detail

• Slightly suggestive

⚠️ CW: describes MC with gorgeous, pretty, adorable; I personally see these terms as mostly gender neutral as of current, however I can see how some people could not! Enjoy :)

Mammon is hot.

And no, I don’t mean just his looks.

He runs warm, noticeably so, and unfortunately for you, you’re stuck with his clingy ass climbing into your bed every night.

Around 3:00 every night without fail, you hear the soft tapping of footsteps on the hardwood floor outside your door, the metal bolts creaking as they shifted to reveal a tall figure (to a human at least). The candlelight burning softly in the hall perfectly framed the boy in your doorway, his fluffy hair and lack of a shirt apparent.

You left your eyes closed. If he wanted cuddles, he would ask. You found that with Mammon, it was best to just let him take what he needed. If he wanted you, he would take you. That’s just how it was between the two of you.

And that’s what he did.

Carefully, and lightly, so lightly as to not make a sound on the floor that he’d memorized so well after the last few years he’d spent walking to and from your bed, just like this.

He towered over you, you were gorgeous. So pretty. He wasn’t sure if it was the lack of sleep, or just the overwhelming awe at the sight of his human. His adorable human. The one he loved so much. But you were the most breathtaking thing he’d ever laid eyes on.

Slowly, he grabbed the comforter from on top of you and pulled it back just enough for him to slip through. He slid into the nest of sheets you’d made yourself, still moving with caution to not wake you. He couldn’t have you seeing him like this. Not now.

He wrapped his arms around your torso and felt his face light on fire. How could he be this lucky? How could he have the nerve to hold such a sacred being such as yourself? How could you allow such a thing from him?

He buried his face into the back of your neck and breathed in your smell. Your essence. He felt himself longing for more. He needed more of you. He couldn’t bare it any longer, as he slowly creeped up under your shirt and rubbed the palm of his hand lightly across your torso.

A leg draped over your hip, and the other went in between your thighs. He found himself kissing your neck, almost suffocating at how sweet you tasted. How soft your skin was, how he longed to merge together with you. He wanted you to be his. He wanted to be you. He wished to crawl up into your skin and become apart of you for the rest of eternity.

You found yourself blushing at the second born’s antics, unable to keep up the disguise any longer. You turned to face him, burying your face into the soft part of his neck. He smelled sweaty, but you didn’t really care. His bare skin was warm, and you reveled in it. He was like your own personal sun.

He repositioned to make you more comfortable before holding you tighter. So impossibly tight you struggled to breathe. You could only smell him. You could only feel him. He was so close you could almost taste it. His soft breath beat down on your earlobe, making you shutter.

He had pulled your shirt up to your shoulders now, and you considered just letting him take it off for a moment. Soon enough though he was rubbing your back, so sweetly. So lovingly. It was almost sickening. His fingertips were like a magic spell, binding you together for the rest of time. And to be perfectly honest, you were okay with that.

This. This was your heaven.

In the morning you would surely be drenched in a thick layer of sweat and a half an hour late for school thanks to Mammon’s stubbornness, but it was worth it for this moment. This bliss that you called your first man.

You hoped deep down, that he would come back tomorrow and do it all again.

[kindahoping4forever]

This pic

[non-plutonian-druid]

[ID: a pixel art gif of Five and Delores sitting on rotting lounge chairs by a pool in the apocalypse. Delores, made human by FIve's perspective, is swinging her legs, and Five is reading a book. There are four colors; yellow, hot pink, lime green, and blue. Music notes emerge from a radio. The sky is completely obscured by yellow, shifting clouds. End ID]

sometimes a guy has gotta have a vacation, even in the middle of the apocalypse.

[uldahstreetrat]

so, my non spoiler review for dawntrail:

I fucking loved it.

really and truly I think it built upon the exact themes I have loved so much from previous msq in ways that aligned perfectly for some very good symbolism and parallels. even to my own ocs! many new characters to this story reminded me of my own that I have written within this setting and I couldnt be happier about that. <3

[sakura-no-eclair]

⚬(> ⯋ <)⚬

otorii

[addicted-to-the-knife]

thanks to @t3acupz's encouragement (and our overall conversations), I'm sharing my own thoughts on when I think Will "falls in love" (in quotes because it's not really about the process of it, but recognising what his feelings are and accepting them) with Hannibal in the show.

I very much agree with Hugh Dancy when he says it'd take Will a long time (like his joking way of saying "7 seasons"). not because those feelings aren't there yet, but because he has issues recognising and accepting them.

in the second half of season 2, those romantic feelings were already starting to bloom, I don't doubt that. I just think that Will couldn't quite place, let alone accept, them. he said to Peter that he wishes he could know what to feel toward Hannibal like Peter did toward his abuser. because then it'd be easier to kill him. that's where his romantic feelings already made themselves known, but he couldn't even place them. I think that he was convinced that it was due to Hannibal having been his only friend that truly just saw him, only to be betrayed by said friend. that's what complicated it. but this feeling of having been seen and accepted for who he was lingered and he couldn't make himself hate Hannibal entirely.

and then the whole honeytrap plot happened and Will's romantic feelings manifested throughout. again, without his exact knowledge. to me, Will realised that he sees and accepts Hannibal (mostly) at that point as well, which is why he had a hard time deciding which part of the plan to follow through with (running away with or killing Hannibal). the blooming romantic feelings obviously pushed him into the direction that the s2 finale went, but none of that was completely conscious. Will wasn't fully "aware" of what he was doing when he was doing it and especially not why. I also agree with Hugh in that regard, when he was asked about his thoughts on the "you were supposed to leave" moment and how he approached it. he said he and Bryan had talked a lot about all of this beforehand, but then he just went and did it without really thinking more about it. and I think that's very much true for how it happened for Will anyway. he called Hannibal in a split decision, not even knowing what he was going to tell him until he heard his voice. and then he went to Hannibal's home, saw Alana, knew Jack was in there because she told him, and only then drew his gun, which he lowered once he came across Abigail and then Hannibal. he never once resisted Hannibal in any of this. he was prepared to fight and even die for him at that moment. but none of that was a conscious decision he made beforehand. all of that were decisions he made in the moment because they felt right and he didn't think about any of it. all of it was pure instinct, in a way. and yes, that instinct was fuelled by his growing feelings toward Hannibal; but Will was not fully aware of that fact, in my opinion.

and then in season 3a, he wants to find out where Hannibal came from, why he is the way he is, who he truly is, deep down, and fully understand him before meeting him again. and when he does, I believe he's still unsure of his own feelings. he probably thought that if he did all of that, he'd finally know what his own feelings toward Hannibal truly are, but found that he didn't. not really. he admitted to Chiyoh that he never knew himself better than when he's with Hannibal and I believe that 100%. but I also believe that there's always been that (arguably) small part that was still uncertain, that was clouded and that he just couldn't put a finger on. especially when he was alone. when he was with Hannibal, Will had him to focus on and with his empathy disorder, he could rely on that to guide him during the time he was with Hannibal. but not when he was alone and continued to be confused about himself and everything else. I imagine that he was overwhelmed by those feelings, because at the end of the day, they're incredibly complicated and shrouded by trauma - abuse and pain inflicted by Hannibal. and thus, it's not an easy thing to accept that he's developed a rich, deep love for Hannibal despite all of that. loving somebody who has put you through so much agony, but also made you feel most like yourself and like you actually matter and are perfect the way you are is nothing but confusing, after all.

after he tries to make a cut again and distance himself from Hannibal and therefore all those complicated feelings, he marries Molly out of necessity and "why not". he likes her, that's for sure. but he doesn't love her. and here, I also had the thought that maybe Will isn't even capable of such love yet. consciously and fully aware, deep, romantic love. I really don't think he's "capable" of it at that point in time.

I also completely agree with Hugh when he says that the season 3 finale was about Will. about his becoming, his acceptance of the violence and darkness, and loving that. but that didn't include Hannibal. not yet. like Hugh said, Will still has to discover and accept and come to terms with parts of himself. and his feelings for Hannibal are a huge part of exactly that. when he asked Bedelia "is Hannibal in love with me?" it can be interpreted several ways. my personal thoughts are that he's fully aware of Hannibal's feelings for him and he can feel them when they're together (and even when they're apart, like in season 3a) due to his empathy disorder. but as much and as easy as he can feel others' emotions and name them, he has a much harder time doing it for himself. he certainly had a realisation of, "ok, so. this is real. these feelings are real". but that doesn't include his own. not entirely. he knows they're there. there is something, at least. he can acknowledge that much. but he's so deep in denial and that bubble of "I'm unlovable and I don't want to love. especially the person that has caused me the most pain", sort of, that he can't see past that yet.

and so with his becoming complete and knowing that he can't actually live with himself because of it, but he also can't live with or without Hannibal, he decides to kill two birds with one stone, quite literally speaking. taking into account that they survived the fall, Will still has a long way to come to terms with those specific feelings toward Hannibal. feelings he can deny himself of even less now that he's given into his true self that Hannibal has always seen in him and so openly shown love and appreciation for. it's up to Will to do the same with Hannibal. and that is difficult. it's complicated, it's layered, it's a constant internal battle. and I don't doubt that it could take up to hypothetical seven seasons, or rather several years, until Will reaches that point where he can recognise and accept that he is, indeed, in love with Hannibal and has been this whole time.