#that literally everyone accepted that viktor is a man no questions asked

[puc-puggy]

s4 sucked, but Five wasn't out of character aside from the lila romance.[1] what he is is a broken old man finally showing the cracks. everybody wants to treat 5 like a snarky 14 year old brat, but he is NOT. that man is OLD. he has lived through over 60 hard years. he's a brat because he is an old, incredibly intelligent theoretical physicist stuck in the body of a 14 year old, and the body of the 14 year old encourages everyone to forget he is a nearly 70 year old theoretical physicist.

this Five spent 45 years in the aftermath of viktor's moon apocalypse, 28 days straight between the moon and nuclear war apocalypse, days to weeks in the kugelblitz apocalypse and then days in oblivion. 6 years to rest and then it's time for another apocalypse caused by alien elements that reshape reality. this five personally saved and ended the world at least 5 times, going the farthest out of all of the Fives in number of apocalypses and by attempting to create the Commission. [2] this five says over and over and over throughout s3 that it's not about you/us, it's about the world. five is not just tired, he's tried harder and for longer than anyone else. he tried for so long that he forgot his own name. he has lost delores, he lost his sense of a clear enemy, he lost his understanding of the universe and his place in it, and he is old now.

when he is told by his future self not to save the world and he decided not to go into oblivion, that was a turning point in his entire character directly caused by a world-changing crisis of faith. the reason all of the other fives in the subway station gave up solving the problem is because every last one of them loved their family too much to consider the idea that the world has to come at the cost of the family. but this five had been through a full lifetime of apocalypse. he survived for 45 years in an apocalypse and turned saving the world and his family into his sole purpose. he lost that purpose when his future self told him it was all for nothing. that it can't be saved.

and this is where i think that people forget that the hargreeves are not just about childhood trauma; they are also about wealth and power. reginald and the hargreeves are immensely wealthy and immensely physically powerful. think about what else he said in season 3: "this is what it means to be powerful. sometimes you step on ants. we will never be able to save enough lives to make up for those we take."

what we see in s4 is an old man that has been forced to ask for the first time if such power has as much of a right to exist as the ants do. and to his surprise as much as everyone else's, it turns out that the answer is no. they were made from the hubris and selfishness of an abusive egomaniac who released a dangerous, technologically advanced, and highly reactive alien element upon a captive population in an attempt to resurrect his wife from the dead. five and his siblings are that abusive egomaniac's tools. they carry a power manufactured by an abusive egomaniac, and while it was unfairly forced upon them, it is still by nature a power that comes at the expense of others and they find themselves unable to be separated from it.

because that power is too alluring, too much a temptation. ben literally drugs everyone against their will, and to five, an old man asking himself questions about power, the fact that all members of the family voted against it is not proof that they can create a better future absent of this power. the fact that they were drugged anyway despite their protests is proof that they can't, that they will always fall into this power's destructive gravity well.

and an old man that has just had his entire concept of the world and life's purpose ripped away from him is the guy that accepts the end.

[1] the issue with five and lila's romance in character is not five's youth. it's lila's youth. he's almost 70 fucking years old, and his accidental and unwanted sip from the fountain of youth did not and does not change the fact that this is a nearly 70 year old man. he treated lila as if she was childish and immature because that is literally how he sees her and the rest of the siblings. because he is almost 70 years old. he gets annoyed with her for dragging him into stupid risks because he's 70 fucking years old and actually does know better. he is nearly 40 years her senior. their dynamic is funny because he looks 14. not because he IS 14. LOOKS young, not IS young.

regarding "why were they having him flirt when he was underage" for the same reason he's a boozehound and knocks back any alchohol in a 30 foot radius. the character has been over 60+ years old the entire time. & as people age, they can safely participate in more activities. a 14 year old cannot safely roleplay everything a 60+ year old character would do. before age 18, the actor could safely speak flirty lines to other actors during their roleplay job playing a 60+ year old. when the actor turned 18, the actor could safely kiss other adult actors during their job roleplaying as a 60+ year old. the child actor portraying a significantly older character getting hints of romance but not kissing anyone on a set until they're 20 is a sign that things were handled ethically. not the other way around. actors age and stop being 14 years old and limited to the safety constraints of a 14 year old. an adult kissed another adult during their job roleplaying as other people. it was just a bad plotline.

[2] I don't care about timeline hijinks in context of whether that was really physically the exact same 5 from the same timeline that started the commission. he thought it was the physical same him & reacted to it like it was & the impact does not change and in fact might become more acute upon realizing that it wasn't physically him, that it was a whole other five, that there are potentially hundreds of years of attempts to stop the apocalypses, and that the collective mass of their apocalypse ending efforts across all timelines should have accomplished something and never ever did it do so. that's hopeless

[forestgloss]

hi! some questions for you (because I saw your post about the ask game thingy(no pressure at all to answer!))

1, do you have a favourite moment/ character in Arcane and/or Our Flag Means Death? (I've only recently finished ofmd, loved it. and I'm super excited for season two of arcane)

2, what's your favourite colour? (mine is purple/green)

3, what are some of your favourite hobbies? (I've been learning how to knit recently, and very much enjoying it)

I hope your day is going well!

1. ouuhhhhh.OUAHHGG ok for arcane: viktor, vi, and ekko are my favorite characters i love them so bad its ridiculous. viktor and ekko werent really in the s2 trailer but i cannot wait to see what i presume to be ekko's rise and viktor's fall (with all the love in my heart, make that man suffer x)

as for ofmd, the entire episode of calypso's birthday is so beautiful to me. i remember watching it for the first time and being so suprised yet thankful for the fact that none of the conflict of that episode came from within the crew. not just in the sense that everyone was getting along, but also just how accepting and casual the vibe was at the party. when izzy and wee john come out in drag and theres that moment of silence where you think its gonna be at the very least awkward, or somebodies gonna say something about it even if its not necessarily negative. But nope! Nobody bats an eye, theyre just glad to see him joining the party, they cheer and move on. and then there's whatevers going on between olu, jim, and archie, where previously you might have expected there to be some kind of jealousy drama or whatever but look at them now! not only have there been no issues, but all three of them are literally slow dancing together looking absolutely full of bliss. and the rest of the crew is just having a jolly old time, doing there thing and letting everyone else do theirs and nothing is made out to be abnormal or unusual. because it isnt!!! UEGEHH ITS SO BEAUTIFUL im sorry for rambling but you've unintentionally opened the floodgates.

2. MINE ARE ALSO PURPLE AND GREEN!! Favorite colors are green, brown, purple, blue, in that order <3

3. i like drawing! love making anything tbh. doodling and sketching, painting, sewing and making lil dolls, creating or altering jewelry, little paper crafts, anything like that! i have always wanted to try knitting as well but ive never gotten around to it (๑´ڡ`๑) I also love watching/reading stuff and analyzing it to the ends of the earth, as well as listening to other peoples opinions and interpretations of the art/media i enjoy.

i hope you have a lovely day too, thank you so much for the questions! and sorry if you expected shorter answers 🤝

[oliwiatree]

just saw someone whining that the whole coming out thing in the umbrella academy was 'forced and out of character for everyone'

[number5theboy]

you pointed out that five only accepts physical affection from Lila, why do think he chooses Lila over the others?

Oh, Anon, I love you for asking this question. I am currently genuinely buoyant about how much the two of them touch in Season 3 because I think it's a very precious thing about their dynamic. I know people in the fandom are gunning for Five to be hugged at some point, but I can't put into words how dear I hold him accepting small gestures of physical affection from Lila specifically before he does so from anyone else. This accidentally became a 1.7k manifesto about affection and friendship. Hope you enjoy!

The thing with Five and physical touch is, I think, that it's something he is really, really fucked up over. He is not a physically affectionate man. The only thing he has really ever shown physical affection to is Delores, and there he was unbearably tender and gentle, so I think he can be physically affectionate, he just doesn't really know how to do it with anybody who isn't, y'know, a manifestation of his trauma of excruciating, decades-long loneliness.

What we know is that Five knows how to love. Loving Delores kept him from completely losing his mind in the apocalypse. He loves his siblings deeply, and he has a deep-seated love for the world as well. But he doesn't know how to express that love, he can't verbalise it, and he can barely initiate touch to the ones he loves most, what he does being restricted to manhandling people when necessary and patting Klaus' shoulders a few times.

What he doesn't know is how to be loved, how to accept affection from others.

He displays a certain inability to cope when love and affection are shown to him. His visible double-take when Klaus tells him he's a good brother is so telling, he is genuinely taken aback. When Viktor patches up his wound in the very first episode and gently pats the blood away, he looks haunted, unsure of what is going on. In Season 1, whenever one of his siblings tries to initiate a physical touch, Five either flinches away or blocks the touch. He keeps Luther's hand away when Luther reaches out to him when he sees that he is upset after the shoot-out at the department store. When Five is literally bleeding out on the floor and Allison inspects his body, his hands pull away from hers. There are so many hugs in Season 2, and none of them involve Five, because a) everyone was mad at him for stranding them in the 60s and b) I think his siblings know that he is not physically affectionate, so they don't even try. He doesn't really reach out to them and they don't reach for him.

Because there was something between the loneliness of the apocalypse and the reunion with his family. The only person we see extensively touch Five, and not in an affectionate way, in a way I can only describe as a powerplay. The Handler. I have to say that I really like the acting choice of how Five reacts to her touching him. Different from his siblings, he does not recoil from her touch. However, he also doesn't lean into it. What he gives her is carefully calculated complete neutrality. He doesn't show her if or how her touch affects him, she continues to prod and poke, and he doesn't give her ammunition. So he has just come from forty years of not touching another living human. What he gets is a superior who uses touch as a tool to assert her dominance, and knowledge on how to weaponise touch to end other people's lives. What I'm getting at is that his already fucked-up relationship with touch from the apocalypse was made worse by the Commission, which doesn't let him associate touch with something positive.

And somewhere around here, Lila comes in. Lila wants to be loved, and, likely due to not having the 45 years of complete solitude, can ask for that love, can pursue it in the way Five is unable to. She is a lot more physical towards other people, she touches Diego frequently and without shame because she likes him and wants to be close to him. The Handler also was physical towards her, and at the time, Lila thought she loved her, so she did not have the same reaction to her touching her as Five had to the same actions. Lila has a lot less baggage in that area than Five does.

Their relationship to one another is very unique in the show. For the majority of ten days, they hate each other deeply. Five plays an important part in her trauma, something she is grappling with, and she was literally sent after him to end his life. But they are also similar, and there is a certain honesty in white-hot hatred, as Five os eloquently puts it, because the two of them are almost shockingly honest to each other. They witness some deeply personal things about the other, and when they discover the kugelblitz, they both realise that their days are numbered and that their grudges don't really matter in the grand scheme of the universe falling apart.

Lila is the person that has touched Five the most over the course of the three seasons. Most of that touch has come when they were trying to kill each other, but that is a form of touch too. It's a different kind of intimacy that is personal on a very different level, but a bit of mild to severe mutually inflicted head trauma and strangulation does lower your inhibitions about the other person's physicality, I reckon.

And it's only after three times of mutually attempted annihilation that they call their little white-hot hatred truce. It comes after Five is very sincere to her face, about Diego and about the Handler, ironically about love, something that I think she is surprised by and which earns him some points in her favour. And this is where the first time that Five accepts Lila's touch comes in. It's not an affectionate touch here, it's perfunctory, the physical touch equivalent of a big get-along-shirt, but something about it is different from all the other times Five has touched or been touched in the show.

Anon, you asked why he chooses to accept Lila's physical affection over anyone else's. In my interpretation, it comes down to the fact that she does something different from everyone else we've seen so far. For that first touch, Lila offers.

And it's a command, and it's all for their plan to get to the Commission, but it's her extending an olive branch to work with him, after all their disagreements, over the mutual dislike, and more importantly, it's her not imposing her touch on him. For the first time, Five has a deliberate choice, and the gesture, in all its stubbornness and dissatisfaction, gets Lila an actual genuine smile out of Five.

I really like this moment because it's steeped in mutual dislike and anger that they have to work together, but there is a sincerity there that I love, the acting in this scene is wonderful.

And then they are unfortunate enough to discover that they make a pretty good team. They find out about the kugelblitz and Lila decides that she doesn't really want to hold grudges anymore in that short time, not against Diego and not really against Five, either. Some odd bonding through trauma happened between the two of them, and instead of hating him, Lila decides to make the best of the time they have left and annoy him, which I think she probably finds more satisfaction in than trying to kill him.

This is where the fact that Lila is not the Handler nor one of Five' beloved siblings becomes important. Physical affection from her does not carry the weight it carries from either of these parties. She touches him, first and foremost, at least I think, to tease him, grabs his hand and pulls him around in blatant disrespect to the walls he has puts up. We see her sling her arm across his shoulders, ruffle his hair (to his dismay), grab his hand to pull him close, manhandle him to twist and turn him, and he twirls her around, dancing, on two different occasions. Booze was involved, which I think explains this all partially, but I like to think it's a little more than that.

Lila is not really overthinking what her extending physical affection, no matter how teasing it may be, might mean, either to her or to him. She treats it casually, and it is not meant as a great gesture of care that I think Five would grapple with more. She touches him as a joke, as jibe, and he is grumpy about it, but he lets it happen and even reciprocates and plays along, just a little bit. They're gestures that are not suffocating with meaning or love. They're a first step to accepting physical affection.

And affectionate the gestures are, even though I don't really think that's what Lila really wanted them to be, she wanted to get on his nerves, get a rise out of him, you know, the game they've been playing ever since they met. But she is clearly comfortable with him, and he is with her, to an extent much larger than with anyone else we've seen him with, at least on a physical level. The joke kind of got away from her there, because I think they both have affection to give, even and maybe especially to each other, although it takes a while for that to sink in. This season, Five and Lila fumble their way into a friendship that is new territory for both of them, but it is territory they both subconsciously have wanted to charter for a while. She even ends up offering him a hug after the wedding, something sober Five walks past, but even then, it was an offer, not her forcing touch on him.

I don't think Five chose Lila to accept physical affection from. I rather think that she chose him to be affectionate toward, first reluctantly, in a utilitarian way, and then to tease him, get on his nerves, but then they accidentally slipped into friendship and what was meant to be steeped in sarcasm became very genuine for two people that are quite starved for platonic affection. And good for them, they really do deserve a friend, someone to be a little silly with.

So. On the one hand, I am definitely overthinking all of this and it is not that deep. On the other hand. I can make this show deeper than it is if I want to.

In conclusion. They <3

[wincestisasincest]

Waves on the Shore - Chapter 3: A Bit Derivative

Viktor x Fem!Reader slow burn enemies to lovers

x posted on ao3 // WOTS masterlist

Summary: Jayce and Viktor questioning you about your weapon (made with farm-fresh Hextech) is the only thing keeping you from going to jail for science crimes. You and Viktor are literally at each others throats lmao. Also you’re from Bilgewater because pirates are fucking rad

Notes: I literally have no idea how I'm doing this so quickly I swear I'm on drugs or something. Anyway, happy valentines day, enjoy this snack of a man. Also, thank you to literally everyone who reads, likes, reblogs, or comments, you guys make me so happy you literally have no idea jakehtkejrh i hope you enjoy this one

Word Count: 5.8k

Taglist: @edenstarkk

Mentions of: being drunk, womanizing, people dying, burial

Triggers: guns (the really big, dumb pirate ones, though), police questioning, language, math

“Can I ask you a question?” you didn’t look away from the blackboard, but you knew that Jayce would hear you. He sat at the nearby table, busy as ever with that transistor.

“Yup,” he also did not look up from his work.

“This… this whole thing about preventing damage from the cannon,” you began, keeping your guilt bridled, “is it all, like, preparing in advance in case something happens? Or has something already happened?”

“A little bit of both,” he grunted, forcing an uncooperative gear into place, “it would be naïve to think that people wouldn’t try to copy your design. Or use it to make something even worse. We haven’t seen it on a large scale yet, but reports say that people in Bilgewater are making smaller, handheld versions of what you made.”

“Like guns?”

“Yeah, like guns.”

“Well, that’s stupid,” you snorted, “the recoil will kill ‘em.”

“People are stupid,” Jayce shrugged, “especially when they’re bloodthirsty.”

“Is anyone else trying to get rid of these things?”

“I don’t know, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Piltover is planning on waiting it out.”

“That’s even more stupid,” you took a moment to tame the serrated edge in your voice, “people will die.”

“No one’s gonna miss the people that are making these weapons.”

“I disagree,” you felt bold today, “everyone’s got a gun in Bilgewater, not just assholes. It’s how they protect themselves. These weapons could be in the hands of shop owners, working girls,” you paused to circle a number on the blackboard, “kids.”

“And, even if they are in the hands of people in gangs,” you pressed the chalk a little harder, “dead gang higher-ups spells trouble. It means power vacuums, and power vacuums means civil war, and civil war means a lot of collateral damage.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do about that,” he sounded just a tad annoyed as you scolded him for the failings of Piltover.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed, “I didn’t mean to snap. I just- sometimes I get defensive.”

“No kidding,” he settled back into his normal agreeableness, “I mean, what you said in front of the Council was… not expected.”

“I don’t regret it. I was right.”

“I know. This sort of discourse is not new to Piltover, what with Zaun being literally below its surface.”

“Yeah that’s… on the nose,” you stopped in your writing to consider the implications of the two cities, the chalk barely gripped by your fingers, “which one came first?”

“Neither did. Or, I guess, they both used to be one city. But I think that, kinda like Bilgewater, people have sort of accepted that the prosperity of our City of Progress depends on Zaun’s criminal underworld.”

“That’s… not good.”

“No. It is not,” Viktor’s cane tapped into the room as he spoke, “it is part of the reason why we founded Hextech. No City of Progress should have to thrive on the blood of others,” he paused, “your derivative is incorrect.”

“What’s a-“

“A derivative is the rate of change of a function with respect to a variable. Acceleration is the derivative of velocity.”

“So… so like slope with variables in it?”

“That is oversimplifying. It is the rate of change of a function at a specific moment. The issue with your numbers is that you are not defining the change in time as a variable.”

“Well, yeah, because it’s just 0 at any specific moment.”

“Do not solve for a single point, then. Solve for a slope that is getting smaller and smaller.”

“So… so the change in time is approaching 0, but not actually reaching it. And then you could substitute…” you trailed off, crafting your problem on the board.

“Yes. So the answer should be-“

“Wait, wait, don’t tell me,” you interrupted him with a firm wave of your hand, ignoring the raised eyebrows he was giving you as you crossed out numbers and simplified.

He recognized your odd symbols from last night – instead of ‘v’ for velocity, you had a stick figure of a person running. Instead of ‘t’ for time, you had a clock. At least you were consistent with your irritants to his research. Either way, he couldn’t expect you to know standard variables, and he did not have the time to each you.

Even though he just did. But he would elect to not think about that.

“This?” you said finally, stepping aside to reveal your answer.

“Yes,” the former student in him wanted to offer some praise on top of the affirmation, but he abstained. This was just a basic part of the work that they did, and something that you should not be rewarded for figuring out.

“Ugh, I remember learning calculus,” Jayce peered over the table, catching a glimpse of your calculations.

“I thought you liked calculus?” Viktor side-eyed his friend.

“I do. But I hated learning it.”

“Why is that?”

“Because they teach you how to do it in the most complicated way possible, and then they tell you all of the tricks after. I get why they do it, but it sucks,” he emphasized with a twist of his Allen wrench, “and, that’s when the problems start to get super long. So, if you get one part wrong, then you get the rest of it wrong.”

“I do recall a similar frustration,” Viktor grazed his chin with his fingers, watching you dart to different sides of the board as you began to pull all your numbers together.

“But I bet if I had you teach me, it would’ve been way more fun,” Jayce teased.

“Tchk. I did not ‘teach’ her, I just told her what she did wrong.”

“Hey, I’m just calling it like I see it.”

*****

The next day you left in the early afternoon. Apparently, you were wanted downtown for some questioning. The officer, the same one that woke you up every morning, refused to give you any details, but you got the sense that she didn’t know much more than you did.

“Here,” she pressed a paper bag against your chest, “in case you won’t be back to the campus station tonight. I don’t want you smelling like shit.”

You peeked inside to find the necessary toiletries for a night over.

“Thank you…” you wanted to be more specific, but you realized that you didn’t know anything about this woman.

“Yeah.”

A brief silence in the station as you figured out how to pose your question.

“So, are you like, my handler?”

“No. I’m an Enforcer,” she kept her standard bluntness.

“Oh… it’s just that I see you every day, and now I’m seeing you again. Am I going to keep seeing you?”

“Yes. All the time.”

“So you are my handler?”

“No.”

“Whose fault is it if I do something wrong, then?”

“Yours.”

“But, I mean, who gets yelled at for it?”

“You.”

“So, you don’t care if I were to, say, run off in that direction and not come back?”

“Don’t do that.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“Yeah,” you sighed, “well, can I at least have a name or something?”

Her face was stony and her eyes were dead.

“Officer Brent.”

“Okay then, Officer Brent.”

“We’re ready for her,” a rough voice beckoned to you from the corner.

Officer Brent nodded in his direction before making eye contact with you. That was your cue.

“I will see you later, Officer Brent,” you stood up and followed the man walking out from behind the desk.

She flipped her dark curly hair over her shoulders and just watched you go.

You were lead into a bland room. It reminded you a little bit of the lab, with its white walls, blank tables, and two lonely chairs. The one-way mirror in the back could’ve easily been like that giant window reflecting your expression back when the light hit it just right. However, instead of a twinkle of curiosity or the satisfaction of a job well done, you were just met with your own empty stare.

“Sit,” the man said. He was boxy, with subtle mutton chops and a nose that had been broken one too many times. He plopped down in the chair across from you and filed through his papers with scarred knuckles.

“Alright, before anything, I wanna be clear that we’re not here to talk about your criminal offense. You’re here as a witness, and not a suspect. This does not mean that you get off free, it’s just not what we’re going to talk about today. Understood?”

You nodded.

“I’m obligated to inform you of your rights as a witness. You are required to be here, but you do have the right to remain silent. What this means is that, if you do not tell the truth, that is a criminal offense and you will be charged for it,” he waited for you to nod again, “Further, what we discuss in here is confidential. Sharing information pertinent to an Enforcer investigation is also a criminal offense.”

He spoke slowly and clearly, giving you time to swallow everything he was saying. He was definitely practiced in speaking to criminals, but not with them. You spoke fast and loud, stuttered a lot, and moved on without warning, just like everyone else in your hometown. He spoke so that anyone could understand because anyone he spoke to had to understand – it wasn’t a choice. It was the same kind of authority that that professor, Heimerdinger, had. Equal parts powerful and damning.

You weren’t sure if you liked it or not, but it was a nice change of pace from all of the shady shit that you were dealing with. In Bilgewater and in Piltover, authority flourished in darkness.

“I’m going to swear you in now. Repeat after me. I do solemnly, sincerely, and truly declare…”

“I do solemnly, sincerely, and truly declare…”

“…that the evidence I give shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth…”

“…that the evidence I give shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth…”

“…with the gods as my witness.”

“…with the gods as my witness.”

Most of the questions were mundane – confirmation of what the rest of the crew had spilled, general facts about Bilgewater culture, and the occasional prodding at your involvement with the whole thing, though the last topic was kept to a pleasant minimum.

Their target seemed to be the captain – Iron Leg.

“Do you know anything about his plans for the weapon?”

“No. All he told me was that he needed something to take out a fleet. Destroy the ships. This is sorta… am I allowed to offer an opinion?”

“As long as you don’t get sidetracked.”

“Well, this is sorta weird for pirates, because normally they attack ships with the purpose of getting on board and looting them. But he wanted them, uh, vanquished. So, I don’t think he was planning to take anything from them, which is kinda weird.”

“And his reputation was built on robbing ships, wasn’t it?”

“Yes.”

He hastily scratched something down on paper.

“I know I’m not the one asking the questions…” you started, cautiously aware of the silence that his notetaking left, “but isn’t Iron Leg in prison?”

“He is,” the man said, still writing, “but we had our suspicions about his goal in attacking a Piltover fleet. I’m sure you know that pirates tend not to get that close. And you have just confirmed that suspicion,” he raised his head, “do you know if he had any previous business with Piltover?”

“He had to have some connection,” you reasoned, “or else he wouldn’t have had the hextech crystal. But I don’t think the man himself has ever been to Piltover. I don’t know much about him, though.”

“Does he have any enemies?”

“Who doesn’t?” you snarked, “but I remember he was pretty feared by people on the island. Not like Gangplank, but still bad. I heard a story once – the guy was drunk, so grain of salt – that someone tried to hijack his plunder and he had them tied right in front of the muzzle of a cannon before he fired it. He was- is brutal.”

“Any allies?”

“He was on good terms with everyone above him, and those just below him, but no one was his ally. I don’t even think most of his crew liked him.”

“No one on the island that he would’ve been close with?”

“He did have a wife and child at some point. The wife is dead, you can see her grave in the bay, but no one has seen or heard of a burial for his child.”

“So, they’re still alive?”

“No idea.”

“Around what time would you say that you heard about his family?”

“Um… I don’t have exact numbers, but I remember the news that he had a kid dropped when I was maybe 10 or something, the wife died 5 years later, and then people started getting suspicious of the kid around 2 years ago.”

“And how old are you?”

“See, that’s the thing… I don’t really know my own birthday so I can’t be accurate with this stuff,” you rubbed the back of your neck, partially embarrassed because of your ignorance, and partially because you were getting all apologetic with an Enforcer.

“It’s alright,” he exhaled, “I think we’re finished for today. I’ll get someone to bring you back to the campus station.”

He got up from his chair, gathered his documents, and lingered in the doorway on his way out. He looked just past his shoulder.

“We will probably see each other again. If you remember anything important, tell the campus station to call up downtown.”

“Okay.”

His footsteps faded into the hallway.

Iron Leg was feared for his ruthlessness, not his intelligence. It made him very predictable, which you liked. You knew that when he threatened to give you a violent death if you didn’t help him, it wasn’t part of some grander Machiavellian scheme – the bastard meant it. This also meant that he wasn’t trying to get the attention of some greater power by attacking Piltover. He had a history with this city. One that their law enforcement wasn’t aware of. One that he thought was worthy of lethal revenge.

You remembered the feeling of his blunderbuss pressed to the underside of your jaw. It grinded against a tender bruise and forced you to bite your tongue.

“And I know that you know, my dear, that for insubordinates,” his gun burrowed further, and you felt the tension of your bone begging to snap, “death would be merciful.”

You did not doubt him for a second, and you didn’t doubt him now, but in retrospect, you found yourself wondering just how desperate he must have been for treating you the way that he did. You were already well known for doing any job as long as you got paid and being about as adaptable as water in a new container. You were the definition of jack of all trades, master of none, and you were very likely to say yes.

And yet, he didn’t just go to all the effort to kidnap and threaten you, but also to keep you on your feet. You got three square meals, materials whenever you asked for them, and, strangest of all, he specifically instructed his crew of well-known womanizers and scoundrels to leave you alone. He didn’t just want you, he needed you. He needed someone who wouldn’t, couldn’t, fail him, and you just needed to stay alive.

You were two hopeless people who had found each other at their lowest and made everything worse. And you knew why you were at the bottom, but what caused Iron Leg to plummet down there with you?

“All right, trouble. Let’s get a move on,” a posh voice called from the door.

“Caitlyn?” you burst up from the seat, recalling the kind blue eyes and gentle smile. Your expression faltered, “you’re an Enforcer?”

“No. Not yet. I’m in training. But I didn’t rat you out, if that’s what you’re thinking,” she crossed her arms, “I didn’t even know you were a criminal until Jayce and Viktor told me after our little meeting.”

“So, you know them, too? You- you were connected to literally everything that I was trying to escape. What a coincidence,” you found yourself chuckling just to survive the absurdity of it all.

“I suppose so. Come on,” she waved for you to follow.

It was dark as you walked down the streets. It felt like an odd parallel, to being completely ignorant to each other and painfully slow in the brightness of morning, and now moving right along and fully acquainted in the depth of the night.

Already, so much had changed. Hell, you knew what an equation was now. You knew what a derivative was now. You had enemies and… not-enemies. You were working against Iron Leg and still alive. You had something to do all day that was actually suited to your skills. And you didn’t even need to wonder where your next meal came from.

Of course, all it took was one look out into the great blue ocean, the reminder that you would never again fall asleep to the clement murmuring of the waves, for you to sink into despair all over again.

“What are you looking at?” Caitlyn leaned her head, trying to match your line of sight.

“Oh… just the ocean. It’s really peaceful here.”

“It is, isn’t it?” she sighed fondly.

“I hate it.”

She abruptly chortled, slowing down for a second to catch her breath.

“I’m sorry,” she sniffled, moving forward again, “I didn’t mean to laugh. I just… was not expecting that.”

“I mean it’s pretty and all,” you shrugged, “but what’s the point of it being pretty if you’re just going to look at it? Where are the people? Where’s the life?! It’s not supposed to be this empty.”

“You don’t like the sight of all the stars on the ocean?” she gave you an endeared smile.

“You know what’s better than seeing that from shore? Being out there, on a boat, in the middle of the sea, with nothing but stars mirrored back to you on completely black water. It feels like you’re in space or something.”

“All alone?”

“Or,” you continued, hellbent on convincing her, “like, you’re in the middle of this bay on this island that no one’s heard of, and if you go out and swim in it during the right time of night all of the bioluminescent fish and plants will make it glow like you’ve never seen.”

“I can’t swim.”

“OR!” you tried again, “you’re coming back from a long voyage, and you see the giant fish guardians with their mouths open, welcoming you home with all of their beautiful carving that was made like a million years ago. And you can remember all of their names because you’ve seen them so many times.”

Finally, Caitlyn found herself at a loss for a counter.

“I dunno,” you concluded, briefly dazed with your own memory, “like, it’s pretty from here, but you gotta go out there if you wanna find something beautiful.”

“All right, I see your point. That was quite poetic.”

“Yeah, well, I gotta have something to do while I’m remembering it,” your shoulders slumped.

“Oh. Right,” she said quietly.

And just like that, you were pulled back into the trance of staring like a fish on a hook, if only to quell your aching heart.

“By the way, for what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re that bad of a person,” Caitlyn looked down at you.

“What?” you said crudely, “I don’t think you’re supposed to do that if you’re an Enforcer?”

“Well, I’m not an Enforcer yet, and I’ve still got a brain of my own, y’know. I can think for myself,” she chided in mock offense, “and I mean, yeah, you’ve definitely made some mistakes. But I happen to be very good friends with someone who was accused by the Council of a serious crime years ago, and has now recovered from it,” a twinge of knowing camaraderie her eye told you that you were supposed to get this reference.

"I'm not following."

"Oh? They didn’t tell you?” her brows raised, and her smile arched slyly, “actually, I’m not surprised. They can be a little proud sometimes. But in that case, you didn’t hear this from me.”

You nodded with concentration, putting on your proverbial listening hat.

“Well, the founding of Hextech was basically one crime after another,” she exhaled with amusement as your mouth dropped open, “Jayce and Viktor were not always the, uh, respectable citizens that they are today. Jayce needed a patron to fund his research and studies at the academy – that was my family. Viktor snuck into the academy and pretended to be a student. By the time he was found out, Heimerdinger was so impressed that he let him say there as his assistant.”

“No way,” you grinned. Current stick up his ass and superiority complex notwithstanding, that was kind of cool.

“Mhm. Anyway, Jayce was doing research on hex crystals, but since that was even more illegal then than it is now, he just sort of hid them in his lab and didn’t tell anyone. One day, someone broke in through the balcony. We’re not quite sure what happened, but one of the robbers must’ve set off a crystal because the entire room and then some exploded.”

“He would’ve gotten off with a slap on the wrist, but, against Heimerdinger’s advice, he gave this whole speech to the Council about how they were being too cautious and research into magic was a good thing. He was being quite stupid, and I say that lovingly. They were going to exile him, but at the wishes of his mother, he was simply expelled and sent home. Viktor, who was still Heimerdinger’s assistant, must’ve thought Jayce was onto something, because he stole the hex crystals and Jayce’s notes from Heimerdinger and went to help him continue his research in secret.”

“And, if that wasn’t enough broken laws already, they snuck into Heimerdinegr’s lab one night to use a gizmo he had to stabilize one of their crystals. And thank the gods it worked, because the Council was convinced enough to let them continue their research without consequences. If it hadn’t gone off like they planned, they would definitely not be here right now.”

You blinked dumbly.

“Wow, they were… committed.”

Caitlyn snorted.

“If that’s what you want to call it.”

“Weren’t they trying to help people, though?” you contended, “I just did my thing to save my own hide.”

“Help people, yes, but also to help themselves. People like Jayce and Viktor are a special kind of stubborn. They need these sorts of things to survive. Trust me on that.”

“I… suppose. You’ve known them a long time, huh?”

“Jayce and I were friends ever since my parents sponsored him. And then Viktor came along after. They’re good guys, if a bit single-minded.”

“Jayce is okay. The other one… we don’t get along.”

“I heard.”

“Damn,” you paused, “now I wish that I had something cool I could tell you.”

“There is one thing I wanted to ask, actually.”

“Hm?”

“What did the detective want to talk to you about?” she had the same fake-casual tone from your meeting in the alleyway, completely exposing her investment.

“Is this a trap?” you raised an eyebrow, “Because, like, he told me I’m not supposed to tell anyone, so if I tell you, are you gonna tell him, and then I’m gonna go to jail for real or something?”

“What? No. The Enforcers wouldn’t trust me with something like that, anyway. I’m not a very good liar.”

You narrowed your eyes. You decided not to tell her that you weren’t very good at figuring out when people were lying. Against all evidence and known associations, your gut told you that she was trustworthy.

“Hm. Alright, I’ll tell you. But just… please don’t tell anyone else, okay?”

“Of course not. I’d get in trouble too if they found out I asked.”

You barreled into your account of what the man asked you about, skipping some of the less interesting questions and focusing more on your own ideas towards the end. She was probably the most attentive person that you’d ever met – completely tuned in and not missing a word, not a speck of misunderstanding on her face. Just sheer, unadulterated observance.

“Hm,” she put her hand to her chin, plunging directly into speculation after you had finished, “an underlying motive for the attack. I suppose it is odd. Pirates haven’t been that close to Piltover in a long time, and then, all of a sudden, this one gets in everyone’s face and causes as much as damage as possible.”

You continued your walk in pensive silence. The only other words that you exchanged that night were acquainted goodbyes when she dropped you left you at the door.

*****

“You’re better at math than me,” you slammed your paper in front of Viktor, who barely moved in his seat, “I need you to check these. They’re important, and if I messed up, people could get hurt in the cannon blast.”

“Get Jayce to do it.”

“No. You’re better at checking because you’re determined to prove me wrong.”

“Are you saying that you think you’ll be wrong?” he looked up from the circuit board – the same one that he had been soldering the other day – and examined you like you were a fly that had been buzzing around his head all morning.

“I feel like I’m missing something,” you put both hands on your hips.

“Well, no shit, this is barely comprehensible,” he spared his first glance to your chicken scratch.

“You figured it out once, didn’t you?”

“I’m a scientist, not a translator. At least write it so I can read it, and then maybe I will help you.”

“What do you mean ‘so you can read it?!’ Are you blind?”

“Use the standard variables. First letter of the thing that you are trying to represent.”

“I can’t-“ you bit hard your lip to shut yourself up.

“You can’t what?” the expectant, near devious way that he perked up at you not being able to do something would’ve trapped a lesser man in nervous stuttering. But, you were awesome.

“Nothing. Forget it,” you reached for your paper, accepting that you were going to have to figure this shit out on your own. In one last look at your sloppy calculations, something clicked in Viktor’s mind.

Oh. There were no letters. Anywhere. You weren’t omitting them because you wanted to – you didn’t know how to spell.

And then he felt what some people would call guilt, but what he called frustration. He should’ve been able to figure it out sooner, with all your pictures and verbal explanations and discomfort with using a pencil. He was from Zaun, for gods’ sake! Contrary to popular belief, there was an education system in Zaun, half the efforts of do-gooder Pilties and half community-minded chem barons, but it was, understandably, shit. Lots of kids floated through never learning how to read their own name, much less write it.

He snatched the paper back before you could move any further.

“Nevermind, I can already see your mistake,” he insisted, hold your paper in one hand while languidly twirling his pencil in the other. He did that when he was thinking.

“Well… okay then. I can do the circuit board.”

“Not by yourself, you cannot,” he stayed focused.

“Yes, I can. Smaller hands,” you slid the goggles on just as quickly as he had begun checking your math, leaving no room for protest. Sliding the sketch that he was working on over to your side, you sent a silent prayer of thanks to the gods that he was so meticulous and used the diagrams to pick up where he had left off.

Viktor, at the very least, was glad to not have that damn circuit board staring at him with incompleteness.

As he skimmed your numbers, he realized that he had completely figured out your little symbolic language, to the point where he could have indulged you if he wished. But he did not, and was ruthless in writing the correct variables over your juvenile pictures. It was better this way, for you and him, he told himself.

He decided that he would not tell anyone. It was not his thing to tell, and if he weaponized this against you, then he would no better than the people that he had spent all his young life resenting. Besides, your nasty, selfish nature already gave him enough to work with.

A ringlet of smoke wisped up from the tip of the soldering iron. It encircled the crown of your head like a halo, accentuating the way that your hair framed your begoggled face. You must’ve washed it today, he figured, with how defined and soft it looked. Nowhere near the frizzy bird’s nest, pigmented with blood and dirt, that you had come in with the first time.

He caught himself, and immediately feigned interest in the circuit board.

“There is no mistake here,” he ruled after further consideration, setting your paper back down on the table.

You set the soldering iron aside and lifted up your goggles like they were a headband.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Hm…” your eyes went slack for a second.

“Now, if you’re done wasting my time…“ he barked, trying to maintain your attention to get this over with.

“I’m just trying to figure out where you thought the mistake was,” you rested your chin in your hand, “but, if you are certain, then we’re done here.”

“Hey Viktor! We’re leaving!” Jayce shouted from the main room as he put on his coat.

“Ah, yes,” Viktor was tired, but willed himself to his feet anyway, pressing against his cane with more force than usual “keep working on that circuit board if you need something to do.”

He grabbed his coat from the peg near the door and you wordlessly resumed soldering.

“Oh, Penny, I’ll ask the professor about that thing for you,” Jayce leaned against the wall, waiting for his partner.

“Thank you!” you chirped from the other room.

“What thing?” Viktor asked once you were out of earshot.

“Eh, don’t worry about it. I’ll explain when I ask Heimerdinger. Now, about…” Viktor had already lost interest.

Great, now you and his partner had secrets. He knew he was overthinking it, but he had yet to meet his daily quota of stewing at your inadequacy, so he resolved to multitask as they made their way across campus.

*****

“Of course boys, you have my full support. I’ll inform local authorities of the cannon blast, so they don’t come tackling you to the ground. Just keep an eye on your help there, eh?”

“Will do, professor,” Jayce folded his hands in his lap, brimming with excitement, “actually, on that note, she asked me about something that I think you can help me with.”

“Oh? And what would that be?”

“She was wondering if she could take a look at any of the documents that were confiscated aboard the ship. Said that she wanted to see if she missed anything and maybe gain insight into how her design leaked into Bilgewater. I think, given the cause, and given that she has exceeded expectation, this is something that we can allow.”

Viktor was silent for most of the meeting, as per usual. He didn’t mind. Jayce loved to talk and Viktor loved to think. He would speak up if he needed to. This, however, got his attention – why would she want to look at documents that she couldn’t even read?

“Viktor, do you have something to say?” Heimerdinger was quick to notice these changes in mood after having known Viktor for so long.

Once again, Viktor considered exposing her, and once again, he was holding back. She wasn’t hard to figure out, and Jayce and the professor had enough on their plates. He would confront her on his own if need be.

“No, professor. I concur with Jayce.”

“Right. Well… I suppose there’s no harm. I’ve read most of them myself – hardly moonshine recipes,” he strolled along one of his many shelves, plucking from it a few worn leather-bound journals with barbs of paper jutting out the side.

There was a small explosion of dust when he dropped them on his desk.

“There! I do believe that’s all of them. Just don’t forget to give them back once you’re finished – for recordkeeping purposes.”

“Appreciate it as always, professor,” Jayce tucked the books under his arm and stood up.

“Of course, dear boy. I look forward to hearing back from both of you about your results,” he pointed his nose at Viktor, silently reminding him that he was always welcome to share what was on his mind.

“We will meet again soon,” Viktor smiled kindly, hoping to put the professor at ease. It was hard to tell under the moustache, but he thought it worked.

“Good evening, gentlemen.”

He bid them farewell with a solemn nod. The poro ran circles around their legs as they left, wagging its tail with energetic glee.

In the hallway, Viktor eyed the journals. They looked like your average logbooks, and yet, this person who couldn’t have any hope of making sense of a logbook was interested in them. Perhaps out of a desire to be thorough, but still.

“Do you think I could keep those journals for the night? I admit I am curious,” he requested once they reached campus housing.

“Ah. One the same wavelength as our criminal, are you?” Jayce’s shit-eating grin raised Viktor’s internal temperature so much that he forgot how cold it was outside.

“Hardly,” he dismissed, “I am just curious. And, unlike you, I will not forget them tomorrow.”

“Ouch. But alright,” he passed his friend the stack, “maybe they’ll help you fall asleep.”

Oh, how wrong he was. They said goodbye for the night, and Viktor returned to his room as quickly as he could, dumping all of the journals on his table and pouring over every one of them like it was the last thing he would do.

Even though he was finished by 1 in the morning, he still had trouble sleeping that night.

~ End Notes ~

no czech swear words in this one, but if you're reading this, then you are hot and sexy

End credits song: "Magnet" by the Punch Brothers

[writingforcuteppl]

It's such a struggle to find umbrella academy blogs : (( like i dont get it where's the hype for TUA!!! Ahh anyways just wanted to ask whose your fav umbrella and whose your fav sparrow and what did you think of this season?

I know!!! I remember when the first season came out and I came straight to tumblr to consume content and there was almost none. And don’t even get me started with Ben content (almost inexistent)

So my fav Umbrella: Ben, Viktor and Five.

And my fav Sparrow: Sloan and Jayme

And my opinion on this season. SPOILERS AHEAD!

Character-wise

I loved how they handled Viktor’s transition. It felt so wholesome 🥹

I didn’t think it was possible for me to feel angry at Allison, but here we are. I totally understand that losing not once but twice your family can leave you pretty messed up. But the way she was starting to act was wrong. Lying to her siblings trying to act as if she was really sorry was just a no no for me.

There’s something I have noticed not only in this season but in all the series. Five and Viktor’s relationship is underrated. Every time something happens Five goes straight to Viktor to explain everything and for advice. It may appear that Five thinks everyone is dumb (which they can be) but he knows he can count on Vicktor and that’s something I love.

I want nothing but to Luther to be happy. I know he could’ve get on a lot of people’s nerves during s1 and s2. But this season he was perfect. His relationship with Sloan was amazing, even if they literally met, what? 2, 3 days before getting married. But it gave me a little bit of hope and happiness during all the chaos we were witnessing.

Now Ben. I had a love-hate feeling for him this season. I know this may sound biased but I kinda understood him. Wanting to just feel approval from a parent can lead you to do selfish things. And I’m the end that’s what he wanted. The moment he realized Reginald couldn’t care less for him, that’s when he changed (or at least that’s what I saw). Also, I saw someone saying Ben is actually the main character in TUA and I couldn’t agree more. Notice how Ben marks something important every season. His dead dividing the Umbrellas in s1, the big reveal that he’s alive in s2 and the fact that s3 started and ended with Ben.

Now FIVE BEING THE FOUNDER!!! Like I don’t understand how people aren’t talking about this. But my mind went boom the moment I realized who was at that bunker. Like it’s so funny and amazing since he hates the commission so much.

Diego and Lila are GOALS. I loved them so much this season. Treating Stan as their own son. It was like the perfect family. And the fact that all the umbrellas just accepted the fact that Diego had a son was precious

Plot-wise

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ENDING. I’m so confused. Like why they lose their powers? What exactly made Reginald for that new reality to exist? Wasn’t that Allison’s husband from the past? Why is he there? If he’s the father of her daughter shouldn’t the daughter be a completely different person with different memories since her father is another man? If everything changed, do Lila and Diego still have the baby? They never told anyone so… Is Stanley back? And if he is, is he an adult now? Will Sloan remember Luther? What happened to Pogo if he was never with Reginald in the first place? (Which I’m assuming just because they don’t have their powers anymore) and so many more questions that need to be answered. So please Netflix, confirm s4.

And the biggest question of them all… Where did Christopher came from???? Like?!!? Pardon my language but who’s vagina did that cube came from????

Anyways. AMAZING SEASON!!!

[hetalia-reacts]

I'm kind of experimenting with Yandere, so I'm going to send you at least 2 Yandere asks. This is the first one. May I have Yandere 2p Allies and Axis that's Vampires and they're falling falling in love with reader. But the problem is, the Reader is a Werewolf..... a very powerful one ( One that can rival them, and it's very possible if the darling can dominant them ). But other than that, the Reader is like this Huge energetic innocent puppy that likes to tackle hug them.

Allen

God he’s in love with your personality

He wants you all to himself for the rest of time

But of course there’s an issue

1) you’re a werewolf and he’s a vampire, you’d never willingly go with him even if you do love him

And then there’s problem number 2) you’re incredibly strong for a werewolf and Al’s a little afraid you might be able to take him down if he tries anything funny

And though Allen doesn’t have to worry about you not loving him or leaving him, he can’t have you the way he really wants you since you’d definitely could send him into a late grave

Allen would definitely concede to the best of his abilities and not completely take you and lock you away from everyone

He’d definitely try some mind games on you though, and try to occupy your time as much as vampirically possible

And after some time he’d probably consider changing you or attempting to change you so you could be with him forever, even if it makes you hate him

He just can’t bare the thought of living without you

Oliver

As yandere as he is Oliver has never truly considered locking you away

He’s not much of a fighter and every tactic he could use to get you and keep you would make him very unhappy to use

All of those plans include heavy drugs and poisons since you’re a werewolf and much stronger than he actually is

And he doesn’t much care for the idea of keeping you drugged and high since it might mean he’d never see you happily frolic or smile at him again

That is simply a sight Oliver cannot live without anymore

So he would never attempt to physically cage you, but he’d try to emotionally cage you

Always has an excuse to why he needs you home and why you can’t go out with your pack anymore or go hunting with them

Maybe sometimes gives small doses of drugs in food or drink so that your more complacent and easy to convince

Would regretfully drug you the day he decides to attempt to change you into a vampire/werewolf-vampire mix

He cant have you fighting back or saying no, that is the only day Oliver might get violent and super controlling towards you

He just needs you to stay with him forever so badly he wouldn’t mind shedding a bit of your blood

Oliver just gets so paranoid and scared one day you’ll never come back from seeing your pack so he has to do something, anything, that will keep you with him

Matt

As I’ve stated before Matt is a more lax and chill yandere

So he’d be more apt to just tell you he wants you home a lot and that he wants to spend forever with you

And with the fact that your incredibly strong even for a werewolf and could most definitely match him in a fight makes him a bit nervous to be sneaky with you

Tho he is confident he could take you, especially is Kuma(?) was around to help lock you up

Matt does psychologically mess with you

Just to make you more dependent on him and more likely to agree with him

He does this until he’s positive you’d agree immediately once asked if you want to become a vampire like him

He wants it to be as consensual as possible since he does love you and your innocent puppy personality and doesn’t want to corrupt it too much by having to physically force you while he changes you

Matt wants to keep you as authentic as he possibly can while keeping you all to himself

Francois

Absolutely hates this predicament

Out of everyone he could’ve easily loved it had to be an energetic, powerful werewolf that he couldn’t manipulate or overpower easily

Francois curses his bad luck in choosing a partner, but loves you never the less

Francois would end up coming up with an elaborate plan to lock you up after completely gaining your trust

Though he knows you love him, he knows you’re wary of him being a vampire even now

And he thinks your smart for being wary, but it honestly amuses him that him being a vampire should really be the least of your worries

He’d have you chained in only a few weeks after planning it out, keeping your shifting/breaking out at bay with drugs and strong silver bounds as well as keeping you far away from the moon and it’s light

Francois wouldn’t change you immediately

He honestly likes you being a werewolf and not soulless and hell-bound like him

But he might change his mind if you start getting more aggressive or show signs of breaking out

Francois can’t lose you, you make him feel happy even if you scream obscenities at him for locking you up

Viktor

Honestly he gets kind of pissy when he thinks about this perdicament

He’s a vampire ffs and yet he hesitates to take you, a literal ball of sunshine and energy, all for himself because you’re scarily powerful and dangerous

It really rubs him the wrong way to think about it

Viktor is no coward, however, so he’s going to make a very calculated plan to get you all for himself

Once he gets you, he confines you as well as he can somewhere far away from your pack, possibly even gets rid of them if he has the time

Viktor is not likely to drug you, he’s not very fond of that unlike some of the others

He will torture you in anyway he sees fit, even if he loses his precious ball of sunshine in the process, to him it’s just an unfortunate but needed loss in his plan

He changes you very quickly

Him changing you breaks your ties to the pack, if they’re still alive, and makes you weaker and easier to deal with and keep

Viktor does love you, and that’s why he has to keep you like this for the rest of your lives

Zao

Zao is a simple man with a simple plan

He just gets relatively comfortable with you and then boom, druggy time

He doesn’t care if you don’t act like yourself anymore

To him it’s all the same and as long as he doesn’t have to deal with you in your super strong werewolf form he figures your personality is an acceptable loss

Zao really did love your sunshine personality tho so sometimes it does bum him out that he’ll never see you like that again

Probably didn’t consider changing you until wayyy after kidnapping you

I’m talking like a year or more before he realizes that’s a thing he could do

When he changes you nothing much changes

He notices you’re a bit weaker and more lethargic after the bite, but your about the same as before after a few weeks so he figures you’re perfectly fine and frozen in time like he is

Luciano

So angry and vocal about the situation

Like why did you have to be the most perfect creature he’s ever seen? Why did you have to be so strong and clever?

So salty about it

Luciano would try to not lock you up, but the second someone looks at you the wrong way it’s to the basement with you and the death of whoever dared trying something with his darling

He’s not above drugging you but would prefer not to if you just behaved so he didn’t have to

Doesn’t consider changing you for a long time

Luciano is almost in love with the fact that you’re so fragile that the passage of time would make you weak

He’d eventually change you before you got really old because at the end of the day he realized he couldn’t live without you

Lutz

Lutz is so in love with you but so frustrated with what you are

He’s strong, but lazy

He could match you, maybe even overpower you if he really tried, but it’s so frustrating that the one thing he wants doesn’t come with ease

If you’d’ve been any other creature, or god even better human, he would have no trouble stealing you away

But of course you were a werewolf who everyone loved and watched out for

Lutz would get so frustrated with himself and think himself into exhaustion many nights thinking of a no hassle way to get you home with him forever

Of course he finally does it while you’re sleeping thanks to some super strong sedatives he slipped you

He would consider changing you before you woke up or before the sedatives wore off just so everything would be so much easier on him and you’d be too high and out of it to ever really question him

So Lutz would naturally go with that plan, he bites you after settling you down in your forever prison

He does it out of possession more than needing you forever, Lutz just wants your pack and every other vampire and werewolf out there to know that your his forever

Kuro

Kuro loves the idea of you more than he actually loves you

He loves the power and status he’d get from changing and keeping

Of course he still is madly in love with you, but he’s more so in love with his power fantasy

Kuro would love to just waltz in and take you, but even he can admit that he would barely match you in a fight and he certainly can’t take on you and the rest of your pack at the same time

So he lures you to his home as sweetly as he possibly can

There he quickly knocks you out and chains you away

He’s likely to play with you for a week or maybe even as long as a couple of months before he decides it’s no longer fun and just wants you to be his forever

Having some decency Kuro would attempt to ask you if you consented to being changed

If you said no or put up a fight he simply knock you out and do what needs to be done

If you agree you’re playing right into his sick little fantasy as he sees this as a sign that he’s completely tamed you now, both mentally and physically

[ask2pblog]

Hi ! Could I please get a scenario of the 2ps introducing Thier s/o to Thier family?

➖2pAmerica/ Al: “The fuck do you mean ‘Oh S/O is a real person!?’”

Was so ready to brag his S/O to Matt, Oliver, and Francois, but was met with them being shocked S/O actually exists. Resulted to a raging boy and a laughing S/O on the floor.Of course, he has his arm wrapped around S/O’s shoulder and shoved it into Matt’s face that he’s getting laid ( Al was supposed to be smacked by S/O but Oliver beat them to it).

Also Al warning S/O about the messed up stuff in his family, and to not call the cops. Boi-

➖2pCanada/ Matt: “So uhhh,,, we’ve been dating for five years”

This man kinda forgot to tell them… whoops. Only reason S/O was introduced cuz S/O forced Matt to introduce his family to them. Matt keeps his S/O away from Al’s advances and Oliver’s constant questions. Gets real protective over S/O, except for Francois who just gave Matt a thumbs up and a condom, even if it’s a boy S/O.

Matt regrets showing S/O to the family since S/O is actually well acquainted, and how can the Moose cut himself off from society when his soul-mate is being invited to places?

➖2pFrance/ François: “Yes I’m dating this person”

This man just brings S/O to one of Oliver’s “family-get-together” without any warning. Of course, Oliver asks the question on who the S/O is and Francois breaks it to the family he actually found someone that he loves with all his heart.

One of the signs of an oncoming apocalypse.

lmao but really though, he stays close with S/O and even participates when S/O participates. Al still thinks he hallucinated the S/O while Oliver is finally happy Francois has settled. Now Matt? He’s trying to be happy.

➖2pEngland/ Oliver: “WE HAVE BEEN DATING FOR ONE DAY AND-”

Everyone knows who the S/O is due to Oliver’s rambling before he even started dating S/O. Oliver is bouncing off the walls, showing S/O to Matt, Al, and managed to find Francois who was hiding underneath the sofa’s cushion. He even showed Kuma and his pet cat, everyone in his family. Throughout the whole time, held S/O’s hand while S/O is trying to stop him.

In the end, Oliver showed S/O to his friends, a ladybug, and the fuckin queen of England why not.

➖2pChina/ Xiao: “GUESS WHO’S NOT GONNA DIE ALONE”

Similar to Oliver, Xiao shows off in a very energetic way. He even hosts a dinner that included Japan, Vietnam, Hong-Kong, Taiwan, the list goes on,,,, Of course its ordered Chinese food, but the whole time just introduces S/O to everyone like an excited puppy. Even starts by how they met, and honestly everyone Xiao invited over wants to leave but doesn’t wanna be rude to S/O.

Pretty much S/O is trying to calm down Xiao and thinking if he took drugs before this dinner.

➖2pRussia/ Viktor:  “This is S/O. That is all”

Wants to keep it short and simple. Probably hosted a proper dinner to present it all formally and fancy fancy. In his head screaming, “Don’t ask questions.” But of course, this is Viktor’s family we talking about. His sisters are questioning S/O on how they met, her favorite color, the wedding date ;33. Viktor has to keep himself from blushing when he sees how everyone accepts his S/O easily and from the questions too.

Viktor wouldn’t have waited a whole year if he knew how well it would turn out.

➖2pGermany/ Lutz: “YO GIL LOOK AT THIS HOT BABE”

Lutz pretty much showed his brother his new S/O after a week they dated. If S/O is awkward at meeting new people, is gonna be Lutz to fill the silence. But if S/O is as outgoing as Lutz, lmao rip Gilen. Of course, Gilen is happy for him, but he just wants some peace and quiet, man.

Lutz and S/O tend to bother Gilen a lot after that, and Gilen is happy someone can keep Lutz on a leash.

➖2pPrussia/ Gilen: “AAAHH”

Was what Gilen said when he was jumped on by Lutz during one of his dates with S/O. That is why the man is screaming. Like literally Lutz yelled, “HI,” and popped out of a bush outta nowhere. S/O either startled or punched this crazy man by accident, up to them. Of course, Lutz revealed that he discovered today and wanted to make a first great impression.By jumping out of a rose bush in the middle of Gilen’s date. Said idiot is now covered in thorns and was sent home.

➖2pAustria/ Roland: “Meet the new Queen that will rule over you peasants”(imma be honest idk which hetalia characters specifically count as his family so bear with me. Imma count 2PBelarus and 2PPrussia)The man introduces his S/O in front of these two, bragging on and on. S/O is blushing from the compliments but gets concerned with his plan of world domination, as usual. Of course, everyone there is used to Roland’s exaggerated speech so his S/O talks to his family and answers any questions and concerns.

Such as if S/O is being held hostage. Though all confusion is cleared,,,for the most part.

➖2pItaly/ Luciano: “How did you know so fast???!!”Man it hasn’t even been like an hour and Flavio got his dramatic ass in front of Luciano and S/O. Of course, Flavio gives a stern warning to S/O to not hurt his little brother, causing Luciano to get defensive reallll quick. Also Flavio tried to drag S/O to the mall after seeing S/O’s attire, and also to buy S/O some new clothes as a way to bond. Luciano was not happy when he looked to his right and saw Flavio dragging away his S/O.

➖2pRomano/ Flavio:  “OH LUCI~ MEET /SO”

Luciano was practically dragged by his brother to meet S/O. Despite rumors of Luciano being a scary mafia man, is actually polite towards S/O,, at first. Though Luciano lowkey tests S/O out to see if they truly deserve his brother. If S/O passes his test of questions, they live. If they don’t well,,, Flavio reasons with Luciano that S/O is truly the one for him.P.S. Luciano makes his questions so impossible to answer so no one passes the test, that little shit-➖2pJapan/ Kuro: “What are you guys doing here. Get out”

His whole family invited themselves over since strength comes in numbers. Also Kuro??? having?? a significant other??? Xiao is a proud man and annoys Kuro with questions (such as what’s the S/O’s name). The evening ended when Kuro managed to find his Katana since his family hid all of them when they visited his house. Kuro’s S/O had to hold Kuro back and give his family time to escape. RIP.

➖2pSpain/ Andrés: “Why the fuck are you here.”

Yet again, Flavio shows up without any invitation as soon as he heard the news. A.k.a like, two hours later. Of course, news spread to his other colonies that he somewhat raised and they all came to see if Flavio was lying or not.

Some poked S/O’s face to see if they’re actually real, and questioning S/O on why they chose Andrés, which resulted to S/O LAYING IT ON THEM WITH RANTS AND COMEBACKS W O A H. Suffice to say, Flavio and everyone else approves.

[harocat]

Fic Rec Post:

I’ve had several people ask for this, so here’s a post made up of my personal Victuuri fic recs. I’ll keep adding to this btw and reblog it whenever I add more because it is SUPER DUPER incomplete. 

Btw if I recommend one fic by an author, you can generally assume I rec their others. This is not always the case, but that’s what summaries and tags are for. I would definitely recommend checking out their other works though!! 

Non-au:

And the answer is… by nessiesaur (Yuuri Katsuki is adorable, but also one of the most mature people in their class. Yuuri Katsuki is in her study group, which definitely saved her ass on the midterm. Yuuri Katsuki is…wait, who is he!?)

#4ContsFigure by animaginaryquill (An instagram feed of shenanigans at the Four Continents Competition )

like a design by jinlian (At twenty-five years old, Yuuri Katsuki makes his first Olympic team. This comes with its own set of responsibilities and questions, and a three-time Olympian husband only might be prepared to handle them. ) 

An Intangible Force of Motion by doeinstinct (The new season is in full-swing, and Viktor is realizing just how much work it is to coach and compete, but the exhilaration is worth it. The pain in his leg is probably just from overworking. Probably. ) 

begin to be half of what you think of me by kevystel (In which Yuuri's self-image finally starts aligning with reality. ) 

your love is my turning page by cityboys (Victor and the hours he spends waiting, reflecting and figuring things out. ) 

sight of the sun by cityboys (Wherein their honeymoon brings Victor face-to-face with a lot of firsts in his life.) 

Now When Arrows Don't Penetrate, Cupid Grabs the Pistol by ken_ichijouji (dommific) ( Phichit Chulanont doesn't know how he ended up the skating world's wingman, but he ain't mad at it.) 

The Happiest I've Ever Been by rainingover (The press conference is due to start in less than twenty minutes and they’re definitely going to be late if they don’t leave right away, but it’s proving impossible for Victor to leave the hotel. Completely and irrefutably impossible. It’s all Yuuri’s fault, of course)

Water's Edge by Mhalachai (For years, Yuuri had heard people say Viktor’s skating was otherworldly. He never thought they were being literal.)

Undertow by Mhalachai (Viktor Nikiforov has spent his entire life pretending to be normal.It's never enough. This is the sequel to Water’s Edge) 

step into the golden dawn by Mayarene Rose (It’s still dark outside, only the first rays of sunlight beginning to peak out from behind the clouds. It’s a good thing to wake up to; a day just a few moments shy of being born. Or on what happens after.) 

Night is Young and the Music's High by opalish ("Best press conference ever," the Japanese Nationals silver medalist says when asked. “Ten out of ten, would medal again.” "I would die for Katsuki-kun," Minami declares, with terrifying sincerity.) 

Going for Gold by abarero (A series of character piece oneshots focusing on Yuuri Katsuki and his gold winning streak post-GPF.)

Let there be light, let there be light, let me be right by mooridayo (plane rides and train trips, from one country to the next, Yuuri and Victor watch the skies and track the growth of their relationship.) 

an ever-fixed mark by katsukifatale  (Yuuri is absolutely gorgeous. Viktor could write poems about the soft pink that paints his cheeks and nose. He could pen lyrics about the slope of Yuuri’s smile and the way he bites his lip to try to keep the laughter inside. The sparkle in Yuuri’s eyes would be enough to give hope to even the most lovelorn soul. The warmth of Yuuri’s body pressed against his and the bubbling heat of the feelings he induces in Viktor would be more than enough protection from even the harshest of Russian winters.Yuuri laughs again and ducks his head, embarrassed, and Viktor covers his mouth with his hand because he thinks he may have said some of that out loud. Oops.) 

20 Days (of you and me) by totaldislocation ( The start of Yuuri and Victor’s life together in St. Petersburg isn’t what either of them was expecting but, in a way, it’s perfect )

he’s my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds by wingchestr ( Viktor and Yuuri move to St. Petersburg and can’t keep their hands off each other. )

when you can’t lift that weight (I will) by karasunotsubasa ( "Yuuri, I always thought I would end up alone,” he says and Yuuri feels a little bit like crying, too. )

AU or Canon Divergence:

My Hero, Yuuri by Abarero (At the age of 23, Yuuri Katsuki is certain he's just a dime-a-dozen hero that will never make a difference. Little does he know that the moment his path crosses with legendary hero, Victor Nikiforov, both of their lives will begin to change for the better.) [WIP]

Victor Effing Nikiforov by shysweetthing (AU in which Yuuri still doesn’t remember the banquet, somehow doesn’t blow Japanese Nationals, runs into Victor at the World Championships, and has absolutely no idea why his idol is suddenly friendly and incredibly handsy. )

Like a Fairytale by lucycamui (In which Prince Victor gets swept off his feet at a royal banquet and will go to any length to find his 'Cinderella' Yuuri. And Phichit is the fairy godmother who has no idea what he's doing ) 

all the world's a stage by braveten (Everyone has a guilty pleasure.For Yuuri, it just happens to be romance movies starring famous heartthrob Victor Nikiforov.)

how the mighty fall (in love) by braveten (Every Victor Nikiforov fan has three things in common. 1. They have unrealistic expectations for romance. 2. They mark their calendars with the dates of his newest book releases and the premieres of his latest movie adaptations. 3. They either passionately hate or love his greatest rival, a mysterious author whose pseudonym is only two letters: “KY.” )

To Boldly Go by xylophones  (“Yuuri!” Viktor calls. “I’ve come to rescue you!”

Yuuri stares at him blankly. He gestures to the various unconscious space pirates with his recently discharged phaser. “Oh, Captain,” he deadpans. “Save me.” 

Or: A year in the life of badass science officer Yuuri Katsuki, Captain Viktor “Team Mom” Nikiforov, and simultaneously the best crew and worst crew in Starfleet history.)

This is now a series: Zero Gravity 'verse

a great desire to love by lily_winterwood (For some strange, inexplicable, fantastic reason, Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov are trading places. Kimi no Na wa AU.) 

Of Dahlias and Deadlines by ingthing  (All Victor wants is to get dahlias for Khloe and Brad's wedding in under 24 hours. Hope comes in the form of the little family florist in his neighborhood and the quiet smiles of one Katsuki Yuuri.) [WIP]

 Open At The Touch by kiaronna (Maybe Nishigori got ahold of a lock of Viktor's hair, and some Polyjuice potion. Maybe it's all an elaborate prank. With this as his only reasonable explanation, he steps forward, snags Viktor by his robes and tugs him in. "Nishigori," he says in Japanese, "this prank isn't funny. Your English is better than when I left, though.") 

Love in Exile by martymuses (Once a well know ballet dancer in St. Petersburg, Victor Nikiforov finds himself exiled to Sakhalin Island as a political convict in 1881. As a man sentenced to katorga he will never return to European Russia or his life on the stage. Known as the "Edge of the World," his life on Sakhalin could not be further from the life he once knew. Strange circumstances lead his path to cross that of a young Japanese man, one of the very few still living on the island. Katsuki Yuuri leads a life of exile of a different kind, one that is largely self-imposed. Drawn to each other, despite their differences, something slowly begins to grow between them. When a narrowly avoided tragedy leaves them stranded together for a long, cold Sakhalin winter, they are challenged to face what their relationship really means, and what future it could possibly have.) 

azure by ADreamingSongbird (Yuuri visits his boyfriend, admires some breathtaking scenery, and witnesses Durmstrang Institute's world-renowned star Quidditch player fall off his own broom, not necessarily in that order. (That last one may or may not be his fault, depending on who one asks.) 

The Rules For Lovers by ADreamingSongbird (Prince Yuuri Katsuki has a duty to his country, above all else (his desires, his dreams, and his happiness included), and he knows this alliance will help to ensure the safety of his people. That’s the only reason he accepts Prince Nikiforov’s hand in marriage. The pleasant surprise, of course, is the part where they fall in love along the way. The unpleasant one, well…That’s a long story.)

cancel your reservations by renaissance ( Yuuri is a college student conducting private fencing lessons for a handsome, rich, and mysterious student. Viktor is not learning to fence because he does medieval reenactments. )

The League of the Green Carnation by Abarero (There was one golden rule to being a Time Scientist: do not bring home anything that was a fixed point in history. This meant most artifacts, extinct animals and the like were permissible. Historical figures? Not so much.

But what about an author? Namely, Yuuri’s favorite author, who was murdered in 1887. Could he be saved? Well. Yuuri was sure as hell about to find out.)

Drag Your Soul to Shore by Linneakou (Just before Katsuki Yuuri advances to his first-ever Grand Prix Final, the skating world is sent reeling when a stranger destroys resident champion Viktor Nikiforov’s life in more ways than one, resulting in him being banned from competing and gaining the hatred of everyone he knows. After a chance encounter in Sochi in which Yuuri saves his life, Viktor follows Yuuri back home to Hasetsu as the spring snows fall. But when Viktor is plagued by strange happenings and unnaturally bad luck, Yuuri quickly realizes that something supernatural is responsible for everything that has happened. The question is, can Yuuri save Viktor again, and more permanently this time?) 

All Things Beautiful by StammiViktor (The voice is like bells, sharp and clear yet somehow infinitely soft. Warmth caresses Yuuri’s face and a shudder wracks his frozen frame.“You’re okay now. You’re safe.”(In the glacial waters near the North Pole, two worlds collide.)

On Your Every Word by StammiViktor (It starts, as most things do, with an extravagant banquet."Dance with me?"He’s holding out his hand. It’s an offering, an invitation, and a dare all in one.The onlookers part and a blinding smile graces the dancer’s lips.“Of course, Your Highness.”(A Royalty AU, with a twist))

The Elusive Vermilion Rose by Abarero (As the revolution builds in Larussia, a masked vigilante appears to whisk those destined for execution to safety. Not about to have his plans ruined, the king gives his two sons an offer they can’t refuse: discover this masked man’s identity if you wish to be heir to the throne.The youngest prince knows this is his only chance at the throne, while the older prince, Victor, finds himself caught in the middle; as his curiosity about the elusive Eros dances ever closer to affection.Meanwhile Yuuri Katsuki, a tailor from the neighboring country of Yamato, has been traveling back and forth more than usual... clearly because of the nobility clamoring to have the emperor’s own tailor make their clothes. And Yuuri and his three friends definitely don’t have anything to do with the so-called masked vigilantes in the Society of the Vermilion Rose. Nope, not at all.)

You can also check my fic rec tag for short fics I’ve reblogged! 

[annoyedbythevoid-blog]

Suffering

 Rolling the Dice of Theodicy

                 There are three stages to a human life: birth, the middle, and death. What happens in the middle is an accumulation of choices, reactions, and their consequences. Life is in a constant flux; moving eternally in a serpentine manner that continues with or without your acknowledgment. One can surrender to the unknowing force that propels us forward or be crushed by the weight. We are creatures who are sentient enough to recognize the chaos and the absurdity, because of this, Suffering is inevitable. However, Suffering is necessary and perhaps the greatest teacher if a person wishes to grow and learn about themselves and the world that is before them. One simply needs to be receptive and listen.  

               Our first breath begins with a cry. It is the lament of new terror and our first overwhelming burden of being alive outside the safe womb of mother. Suffering is synonymous with the Earth’s own cycles. Just as seasons come and go, and the oceans break and retreat, as does our Suffering. It itself is a law of nature for human beings. Just as the Earth cannot fight the repeated cycle to heal and balance itself, the same must be applied for us. Every person will wear many Winters in their heart throughout their lifetime. “When a man finds that it is his destiny to suffer, he will have to accept his suffering as his task; his single and unique task. He will have to acknowledge the fact that even in suffering he is unique and alone in the universe. No one can relieve him of his suffering or suffer in his place. His unique opportunity lies in the way in which he bears his burden.” (Frankl 78) It truly is man’s destiny to suffer; just as we are meant to face our own death. Each of us will suffer in his or her unique way, and it is our choice to establish meaning to what befalls upon us.  A person must attempt to cultivate a perspective that is suited for their suffering. Frankl explains that humor and hope were the soul’s weapons during the Holocaust. (42) Hope in itself is a product of suffering. If there was no suffering, there would be no reason to give Hope a name. Each individual defines Hope in a different way, however one unifying relation is that Hope is birthed when Suffering is present. Through Suffering, we must ask ourselves what the driving force to exist is, and why we have kept going so far in the first place. As we consider these formidable questions, a deeper sense of purpose or self can begin to mature; a sort of inner submission and complacency that was not present before.

Suffering is the foundation of personal and emotional growth and allows the individual to truly embrace themselves and their responses to the weight of simply living. However, this is a choice that each person must bear. In our modern world, many people collapse from carrying the luggage of life. There are shortcuts and distractions that give the option to ‘evade’ suffering. These can include substance abuse, pharmaceuticals, sex, shopping, eating disorders, television, etc. I will not deny that some individuals with illnesses truly need to be medicated, however, our society is conditioned to advocate shutting down those receptors that allow us to embrace our pain fully. If a person is depressed, anxious, or even suicidal some of the first options that are thrown into their lives are medications, when what is truly necessary is that they have a source that allows them to focus on understanding what the core of their pain is trying to tell them. (Unfortunately, this is also a societal issue. Not everyone has access to true help.)  Suffering disguises itself as an internal demon, one that keeps any logic and sanity tucked away into a corner. However, beneath this illusion is a teacher. Just as biblical angels are much too overwhelming and illuminate for man to fully perceive, they say, “Fear not.” That is what our suffering says to us. Fear not, for there is an admonition of counsel beyond all of those unconscious and unresolved layers.  

               To accept our suffering means submitting the self to the great mystery. Since suffering is just as part of life as anything else, so is our choice to affirm our actions to live and understand it. “…For ultimately, man should not ask himself, ‘What is the meaning of my life?’ but should instead, realize that it is not up to him to question—it is he who is questioned, questioned by life; it is he who has to answer by answering for life. To respond and be responsible” (Frankl 107) A person will walk away empty handed if they are merely trying to extract some sort of answer from life’s big questions. Suffering and Meaning are abstract concepts; ones that shapeshift as we do.  We are responsible in how we interact with Life and the tribulations that are tossed at us. However, this involves the slow trek against the current. A person must allow themselves to be carried through, except on Life’s watch rather their own. If life included no suffering, there would be no reason for autonomous choice. By choosing our reactions to adversaries, we are literally creating ourselves.

               Suffering balances moments of beauty and completes the circle of life. It is our responsibility to assign meaning behind every juncture and epoch. “Thus we see that life’s meaning includes even the meaning of suffering and of death. We have not only the potentiality of giving meaning to our lives by creative acts and by the experience of nature and culture through the experience of love; we have not only the possibility of making life meaningful by creating and loving, but also by suffering: by the way and manner in which we face our fate.” (Frankl 45) Viktor Frankl believed that our attitude towards life was fundamentally important. This could be our contemplation for events and internal sorrows or man using his will to shape his own fate by action. It is a tiresome yet necessary task since life perpetually throws out its tasks to each individual. As a person performs these tasks of life one creates room for expanse and each time grows minutely stronger. This process is a slow and gradual one, however, it is only through unpredictable storms that a captain can truly develop his seaworthiness and talent as a navigator.

               The subject is difficult to helm specifically because of how deeply intimate each person is with their own Suffering. It is a specific art for every person, one that grows more poignant over time and one that should not be diminished or explained as if it were a hard science. Suffering is a spiritual fasting for the self. Since we create our own realities, it’s not an easy task to pin point any concrete benefit for it, except for what we individually elect. The simple foundation is that if any meaning can be found in Suffering it only presents itself if one allows it. The world goes on without you.  It is our autonomous choice to see beyond bad things merely happening to “good” people and realize that there is no such thing as luck, but what our responses to misfortunes are. The Holocaust is an essential example of Suffering because it was the prime image of the evil that human beings were capable of enduring. It almost seems illusory to even imagine justifying such Suffering with some sort of meaning. How can you if you were not there living through it without projecting your own idea of what occurred and how it was dealt with? However, there were survivors, and even though they were forced to live with their own brutal recollections of darkness, perhaps they lived at the very least to understand that calamity can only be justified when a person vindicates it for themselves. When a person suffers, the mind goes into an incubation period and a foreign seed is planted. The seed acts almost like a divine intellect and gradually a person “lives the answers” that they seek. Suddenly a person looks back upon the catalogue of memory and realizes that they lived and learned and because of this each of us is their own teacher.

               In response to being weary of projecting our own hypothesis on other people who endure their own individual suffering, we can instead synchronize our intrinsic suffering to help coax or relate to someone else who might need another perspective at least in the hopes of not feeling isolated. I cannot relate to the survivors of the holocaust by any means, however, I am more equipped to empathize through my Suffering. If human beings lived without Suffering, there would be no reason for empathy. Without empathy, our very momentum for living would be diminished—we are designed to crave connection with one another. Suffering is a universal truth that we share whether one chooses to face it or not, through our unique truths we can reach an apex in true conversation and meaningful connection. Each of us can teach our own version of the trails that were faced and relay them to another. This other human uses their own memory of their Suffering and the process of relation harmonizes. We cannot truly have anybody understand our solitary truth, however, we can aid in helping somebody else realize their own.

               The Garden of Eden is a sham, for this specific world leaves no room to grow and develop our true abilities as humans. If only pleasure and happiness can be attained, then they become the epitome of stagnation. Praise should be given to Eve for consuming the forbidden fruit. The forbidden fruit was “sin” disguised as virtue and a potentiality of wisdom that held a form of verity that man would not have been able to understand otherwise. It was the fall of paradise because even in their pleasure and happiness they were unfulfilled, lacking the final piece in making the complete, mortal circle. Adam and Eve craved the sugary truth before they even knew how to name it. Human beings can be liberated by their suffering because it is the death of an ego and the reminder of one’s own mortality. Without this perpetual resistance, we would be aimless; driven by a carnal desire and instinct, existing without truly living. Fear not. It never gets easier; you just get stronger.