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ghostgothgeek · 3 years

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Chaos.

Another for the Phic Phight! This one kinda combines two prompts and I had so much fun writing it! In this, Danny and Tucker don’t know Sam plays video games yet. 5,063 words.

"What do you mean you don’t feel the same way? We´ve had a mutual crush on each other for years." Sam says angrily after finally confessing her love to him. But Danny´s heart was beating hard for someone else entirely. Prompt by phantomfana.

Danny wants to ask his crush to the upcoming school dance. Prompt by Rikaleeta.

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It was another long night of ghost hunting for Danny. Technus took up the first part of the night, trying to take over the park’s new security system. Tucker was fortunately still awake to help him out with that. Then Johnny and Kitty rolled in, but they weren’t looking for trouble, they just wanted a date night and swore they wouldn’t be a problem. Apparently Fridays were their days off for “everything but each other”. Danny was a romantic, but he didn’t know if this was sweet or nauseating. Ember had put up a good fight, though. He was proud he only had one injury to tend to. He had dodged most of her attacks, but she was still a pretty advanced ghost. And, of course, Danny had caught the Box Ghost six, count them, SIX times. How did he always manage to get out?! He wasn’t difficult to take down, he was just a pest.

Danny sighed as he sat down at his computer chair. It was only 12:30 am, and it was a Friday. He could sleep in tomorrow and he deserved at least a couple hours of fun. He logged into his online gaming account and saw Tucker was online. Figures. He pulled up the chat anyway.

Astrohaunt: Hey Tuck. Still up?

Technopedia: You know it. Chaos signed on about a half hour ago and I’m not passing up the opportunity.

Astrohaunt: Dude is so good it’s unreal!

Technopedia: He goes to our school, I tracked one of his IP addresses and he logged in at school a few times.

Astrohaunt: Tucker wtf. That’s creepy!

Technopedia: I just want to make sure Chaos is actually a kid and not Lancer again!

Astrohaunt: I still can’t wrap my mind around Lancer playing Doomed…

Technopedia: Same. But Chaos IP is different from Lancer, so we good. Unless more teachers play Doomed.

Astrohaunt: I hate you for putting that image into my brain.

Technopedia: Sorry dude. But quick come join before someone else gets Chaos.

Danny, Tucker, and Chaos had made a great team. Whenever Chaos was around, they were actually able to progress through the game. They played several rounds until Tucker was caught by his mom and was forced to sign off, but Danny and Chaos kept playing.

TeamChaos: Hey, what’s up?

Astrohaunt: Omg dude you’re so awesome.

TeamChaos: Ha, thanks. Gotta blow off steam somehow.

Astrohaunt: Tell me about it! Between Lancer’s three projects and midterms and...other stuff...this is my only time to actually chill. I’ve been so stressed!

TeamChaos: Same. I did finish one of the projects though. I’m always here if you need to talk, you know.

Astrohaunt: Wow, I may just take you up on that offer. I’ve had a rough night.

TeamChaos: Lay it on me.

And so Danny, sparing the ghost hunting details, stayed up chatting with Chaos until 5 am. He got along really well with the guy, they had a lot of similar interests. This was just the first of many up-all-night conversations they shared. After a few months, Danny felt a special connection with Chaos, and yet, he didn’t even know his name!

Astrohaunt: We’ve been talking all these months and I still don’t know your name. I’m Danny.

TeamChaos: Oh, thought you knew. It’s Sam!

Astrohaunt: Hey! One of my best friends is named Sam!

TeamChaos: You don’t say!!!

The next day at school, Danny pulled Tucker over to him, whispering, “Dude, help. I think I might be gay....”

“What?!” Tucker shouted.

“Quiet, Tuck!”

“Okay, well uh...why?” Tucker sent him a weird look and took a step back.

“No, not you. Chaos. I think I have a crush on Chaos.” Danny ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what to do! I never thought I’d be...you know. Chaos and I just have good conversations and he’s always there to listen to me when I need to vent. I thought maybe I found another best friend but...this is different. Chaos is so cool and I’m crushing and I don’t even know who he is or what he looks like! Or if he feels the same way! Maybe I’m just stupid and-”

“Dude, chill. You’re jumping too far ahead of yourself. Whichever way you, you know, swing...I’m still your best friend.” Tucker pulled out his PDA. “Let me see what I can find out. I know Chaos goes to our school.”

“Thanks, Tuck. As if being half ghost wasn’t hard enough! Oh, and he’s in our class, because he’s talked me through assignments and knows what they are and stuff. He’s almost as good as explaining things as Sam. Crap...Sam. Don’t tell her about this!” Danny started fidgeting.

“Well,” Tucker raised his eyebrows in surprise, “I can tell you with absolute certainty that Chaos is definitely a girl.”

“You found out who Chaos is?!”

“What, like it’s hard?” Tucker chuckled. “I traced the IP addresses she uses. I know who she is. So do you,” Tucker smirked, “It shocked me at first, but it makes total sense! And I can totally see why you like her.”

“Really?” Danny let out a breath in relief. “Okay that makes me feel a lot better...hey, maybe I can ask Chaos to the dance next Saturday!”

Tucker rested a hand on Danny’s shoulder. “Go for it. Ask Sam. I’m almost positive she’ll say yes.”

“Okay, I will...wait, not Sam! Chaos!” Danny clarified. “Well, actually, I think Chaos told me her name was Sam. Ha, small world. I can’t wait to introduce Sam to Sam. I think they would really get along.”

Tucker busted out laughing, “Oh, dude. You go ahead and do that.” He left Danny standing there in the hallway, still laughing all the way to his next class.

Danny, a bit confused by Tucker’s laughter, shook his head and smiled to himself. Okay, good. He’d had enough identity crises to fill a lifetime. Chaos was definitely a girl. Now if he just knew Chaos returned his feelings, things might actually work out for him this time and he could actually have a girlfriend.

Meanwhile, Sam was having an internal debate of her own. Sitting in a class where the teacher couldn’t give two shits about what the students were doing, she had always used this class as her thinking time. Usually her thinking-about-Danny time. She nervously clicked her pen as she thought about recent events.

She and Danny spent so much time chatting online when they weren’t hanging out in person. Danny was a little bit more bold online, probably because he didn’t have to interact face-to-face or risk his pants falling down in public again. Online, they talked about everything. No topic was off limits. Plus, Sam felt like their friendship had only grown even stronger when they could chat online and not have to worry about blushing or getting teased by Tucker. Chatting online took away all the pressure and made it much easier to connect with Danny.

Danny hadn’t said anything yet, of course. He was probably scared. Hell, she was scared. She was already so in love with him, and getting closer online only further solidified that fact. She had never been in love before, and even though she hunts ghosts, this was more terrifying! She was fairly certain he returned her feelings, but both were too chicken to actually make that final step. They’ve been best friends forever. She didn’t want to mess up their already great dynamic or force Tucker to be the third wheel, though he did insist he was more than okay with that and encouraged them to finally get together.

Sam stopped clicking her pen as she suddenly remembered it was senior year. They hadn’t picked colleges yet, but whether they ended up going to the same school or not, things were going to change. Danny was very attractive, and going off to college meant girls may actually approach him when they didn’t know his parents were ghost fighters. The fact had never bothered Sam, but she did kind of like how it kept most girls at school from asking him out or giving him attention. Valerie had been a challenge, especially because she was a ghost hunter herself and probably wanted to get tips from his parents. Sam was glad that relationship ended relatively early. It was too hard on her. Joyous or not, though, she was still mad at Valerie for how she broke his heart.

But that was 2 years ago. They had all moved on and friendships were more or less mended across the board. This made Sam glance at her favorite picture of her and Danny. Tucker had taken the candid picture and it was now her phone’s background. In it, Danny was giving Sam a piggyback ride. Her arms were lightly strung around his neck, legs looped around his waist. Danny had kept going in the opposite direction Sam told him to go, which frustrated her but also made her laugh. She had rested her chin on his shoulder, her face pressed right up against his. Danny was looking at her and Tucker had captured that rare moment when Sam had a huge grin on her face, still laughing. She smiled at the picture. They would be okay no matter what. Their friendship would survive.

Anyway, Sam also realized she had already come close to losing Danny, in more ways than one. Whether it was to other girls or a ghost, there was always that anxiety stirring in her head that she could lose him entirely some day. Life was too short. She needed to take the plunge for both of them and just get them both over this hurdle, and they could finally, finally, actually get together.

Sam made her decision. It was now or never. She was going to tell him. Today. The trio was meeting up at Danny’s house later anyway, and if she got there early enough, she could talk to him before Tucker showed up and teased them about it. Sam firmly nodded her head to herself, a confirmation of her decision. It was finally time.

After school, Danny was pacing in his room, trying to figure out how he wanted to do this. Asking a girl to the dance wasn’t a huge deal, and yet at the same time, it was. He would rather ask in person, but he still didn’t know what Chaos looked like, so asking in person seemed to be off the table. He could look in the yearbook for all the girls named Sam at their school. He could already omit one Sam Manson from that list. How many Sams could possibly attend their school? It would be easier to ask Tucker, though. Tucker already knew who she was. Sam and Tucker were on their way over right now. When Sam wasn’t paying attention, he could ask Tucker for Sam’s full name.

Chaos Sam, not best friend Sam. God, this was so confusing. Why were girls so hard for him? Freshman year, Paulina only liked his ghost half and wouldn’t give his human half the time of day. Sophomore year, Valerie hated his ghost half and that hatred was more important to her than her feelings for his human half. Junior year, he had been denying that he was in love with his best friend. And now that he had finally accepted that he did like his best friend as much more than a friend, a new girl entered the picture and he now found himself trying to choose between two Sams. Because it apparently wasn’t hard enough for him already to make the biggest and most important change he could possibly make in a friendship, let’s add another crush to the mix and give them the same name.

Sam. Best friend Sam - that’s who he was planning on asking originally, even if he chickened out and had to ask her as a friend instead. Plus, he and Sam had somehow gotten closer recently, and he was pretty sure she liked him. Sure, it was only because Tucker told him so, but it was a possibility. The thing was, he didn’t want to ruin things. Especially because he truly didn’t know how Sam, best friend Sam, felt about him. She was a tough and courageous girl, surely she would have said something by now if it were true. So Tucker must be pulling his leg.

But he did have another option - Chaos Sam, who may actually return his feelings. Sure, the feelings weren’t nearly as strong as what he felt for his best friend, but the feelings were still there. Plus, if he got rejected by Chaos, it would be less heartbreaking than being rejected by Sam, someone he had known for years rather than months. He could deal with losing a newer friend, but not one of his best friends. Sam was too important and he knew he needed her in his life.

Danny sighed. This was really hard, but he made a decision. It was easier to go with Chaos than risk ruining things with Sam. Danny had enough drama going on in his life already, he needed an easy win.

He broke from his thoughts when the doorbell rang. He ran downstairs and opened it, only slightly surprised to see Sam there. She was usually early for things. He and Tuck were more prone to being late.

“Hey, Sam. Come on in!” Danny moved so Sam could enter his house. He shut the door and followed her upstairs and back to his room as she returned his greeting. She was pacing the same path he just had, muttering quietly to herself. She looked nervous. “Something on your mind?”

Sam was startled out of her thoughts. “Huh? Oh yeah.” She noticed his disheveled appearance, also noting he was fidgety. Was he going to do what she was about to do? “What about you, you look like you’ve been thinking a little too hard about something.” She smiled softly.

Danny chuckled, “Yeah, but it’ll resolve itself soon. I’ll worry about it after the movies. Tuck should be here any second. Oh, but I’m glad you’re early. Can you help me with something quick?”

“Of course.” Sam followed him to his desk, smiling and rolling her eyes when he pointed to a homework problem. “I should have known.”

Danny gave her a lopsided smile and watched as she showed him how to do the problem in her perfect handwriting. It took no more than a couple of minutes. Now, they were just waiting for Tucker to arrive.

Sam looked at the time. He would be here soon. She needed to do this now. She needed to tell Danny. She couldn’t wait until after the movies for him to tell her. She had already waited long enough and couldn’t bear another second.

“Danny, can I talk to you for a second?” She sat down on his bed and gestured for him to do the same.

Danny could sense the seriousness in her voice, and nodded anxiously. He was scared when Sam was serious about things. It was usually something bad.

“Danny…” She decided to get straight to the point. “I like you. As in like-like you. More than like, and more than a friend. And we’ve been doing this dancing around for at least 4 years now and I’m sick of it. I just want to be with you already. What do you say?” Sam held her breath as she waited for Danny to answer.

He stared at her with wide eyes before nervously rubbing the back of his neck and turning his attention to his shoes, avoiding eye contact with the goth. God, why him?! He had stupidly thought, for once, things would be easier for him this time. He had already sent an offline message to Chaos that he wanted to ask her something, and then Sam had to come along and tell him what he had wanted to hear for some time now. But he couldn’t blow Chaos off when he had already somewhat asked. Of course, his life just had to be complicated every step of the way. He really liked both girls and didn’t want to hurt his best friend. Regardless, he had to be honest. He owed Sam that much. “Well, I mean, yeah, but…”

“But what?” Sam whispered, clearly already upset. Fuck. Fuck fuck FUCK. This was exactly what he didn’t want to happen. He decided to try going with Chaos so he could avoid heartbreak from his best friend. The very thing he had been so afraid of, he was doing to her right now.

Danny sighed again. “But I can’t. I’m so sorry, Sam.” It was hard to choke out, but he said it, and he felt terrible. He pressed his lips together and kept staring at his shoes until Sam lifted his chin up, forcing him to look at her.

“What do you mean you don’t feel the same way? We’ve had mutual crushes on each other for years!” Sam said angrily, feeling her heart break as her best friend and love of her life rejected her confession of love. She was so sure he returned her feelings! Especially after all the great conversations they had shared online these last few months. “Or, at least, I thought we did.” Tears swelled in her eyes. Did he lead her on? “I-I need an explanation, Danny,” she quietly stated after he didn’t continue.

Danny frowned and his heart ached. He didn’t want to hurt his best friend like this. Hell, he really liked her! Of course their crushes were mutual! And if this had happened 6 months ago instead of now, he would have jumped at the chance. But now...now he had Chaos and already forced himself to stick with his decision. It was easy with Chaos; there was no friendship to risk, no denying of being lovebirds or brushing off kisses as fakeout makeouts. Plus, he couldn’t lie to his best friend. She would know if he was lying. And he already told himself she deserved the truth. “There’s...someone else…”

“What?” Sam whispered before turning angry again, “Paulina? Valerie? Star?” she spat out.

Danny shook his head, “Ew, no...it’s someone I met online...I’m so sorry, Sam. I like you a lot, I really do, but I think I’ve already come to the conclusion that I like this girl I met online, Chaos, and I have to try to see that through.”

Many emotions crossed Sam’s face as she pieced together what he just said. At first she was upset, but as he explained himself, she felt disbelief, confusion, anger, and finally, hope. He couldn’t really be that clueless, right? “Show me.”

“Huh? I mean, I don’t actually know what she looks like, but we message every night and she really understands me! I know it sounds ridiculous, but-”

“Show me,” Sam repeated. “Show me her profile.”

“You’re not going to hurt her, are you?” Danny questioned cautiously.

“No, of course not. Just shut up and show me the profile.” Sam was more calm now, and that was kind of scary. Even though Sam said she wouldn’t hurt Chaos, he didn’t want to give her the chance. But he knew how stubborn his friend was, and eventually in whatever way, she would force the information out of him.

Danny sighed and pulled up the profile to show Sam. “I’m sorry, Sam. I’m still your best frien-”

“Shut up.” Sam scrolled through what Danny pulled up for her and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. Closing her eyes slowly, she took a deep breath. “Didn’t Chaos tell you her name?”

“Uh,” Danny thought, “oh yeah! She said her name was Sam, because I thought she was a boy at first and I had an existential crisis, but then Tucker told me-”

“Danny. I’m Sam.”

“No I know, and sure it’ll be a little weird cause you’re Sam and she’s Sam, it’s confusing, but I-”

Sam interrupted him once again. She could hear Tucker’s footsteps approaching. She was running out of time to not make this a spectacle. “No, Danny. Chaos. Sam. Me. I’m Sam. I am Sam,”

Tucker only heard the tail end of the conversation as he entered the room. Never able to pass up a comedic opportunity, he smirked and added “I am Sam. Sam I am. I do not like green eggs and ham!”

It was suddenly silent in the room as his friends seized conversation and glared at him. Oops.

“Oh, am I interrupting something?” Tucker could see the fire in Sam’s eyes. “Uh, oh wait I forgot my...sock. I’ll be downstairs!” He raced out of the room.

Sam turned her attention back to Danny. “No, you stupid fucking MORON. I am Chaos. You’ve been talking to me the whole time. I thought you knew that!” Danny stared at her blankly until she pulled out her phone and he watched her log into her account, proving it to him. Sure enough, it was Chaos’s profile. He could see all the direct messages between them, including his offline message about wanting to ask her something.

“Wait, you? You’re Sam? I mean, Chaos? I mean Sam?” Danny looked back and forth between the profile and his best friend.

“UGH!” Sam shouted as she threw her hands in the air. “Yes, Danny. That’s me! Did you really not notice that Chaos was the same age as me and a girl who goes to our school? We have the same name and interests! Didn’t you wonder why it was so easy to talk right off the bat? I thought you put that all together and us just pretending to not know each other was a little bit you were trying to do or something!”

Danny stared at her as he continued to piece it all together. He was definitely embarrassed. He felt so stupid. How could he not tell that Chaos was Sam, his best friend since 7th grade? Talk about being totally clueless.

Wait. Clueless? Well, fuck! He got the nickname now!

His eyes flickered back and forth as he thought everything through. Eventually, he started to crack a smile. “Wait, so I’ve had a crush on you and also you? You’re the same person! This is great! Do you know what this means?!”

Sam slapped her forehead and began walking downstairs. “I don’t even know if this is worth it anymore…”

“Wait, how come Tuck and I never knew you played video games! We can enter team tournaments! You’re so good!” Danny chased after her.

Tucker watched as Sam grumbled about Danny caring more about video games than her. An excited Danny was right on her tail.

“Tucker! Sam is Chaos! I’ve been in love with Sam this whole time!” Danny explained.

“Tucker, I need you to refrain me from slapping his stupid clueless face,” Sam started.

“Wait, you didn’t know Sam was Chaos? Dude! I thought I was obvious about that!” Tucker began laughing at Danny.

“I know, so did I.” Sam crossed her arms over her chest.

“Danny, you can calculate levels of rocket fuel and figure out how to get us to Mercury or something,” Tucker started.

“Mars, actually,” Danny corrected.

“But you can’t figure out that your best friend and your crush are the same person? You’re more than Captain Clueless, you’re like….Lieutenant Clueless? That’s like, bigger right?” Tucker continued.

“I don’t think that’s how it works, Tuck,” Sam chimed in.

“Shut up Sam, this isn’t about you,” Tucker immediately stopped his train of thought when he felt Sam glaring daggers at him. “Heh, uh. Except it does. It actually has nothing to do with me. I’m sorry I told you to shut up, please don’t hurt me!” He threw his hands up in front of himself in defense.

“Relax, Tucker. I’m more angry with this fucking dingus,” she pointed her thumb in Danny’s direction.

The halfa was about to protest, then closed his mouth. “That’s fair, I deserve that.”

“I can’t even look at you right now. You scared me! I poured out my emotions to you. I thought you were rejecting me and that I would have to change my name and move to a different country! Wait, are you still rejecting me?” Sam stopped her pacing to look at him.

“Of course not, Sammy!”

“Oh don’t you ‘Sammy’ me! I told you I love you, you stupid fucking idiot!” Sam began throwing pillows at Danny, who expertly dodged them (though as a result, Tucker got hit in the face by one).

“Technically, you didn’t say ‘love’ you said ‘like’”, Danny offered as Tucker shook his head and slashed finger across his neck, signaling Danny to stop talking.

“Oh, I’m sorry! This is all my fault! I’m going to go jump off a cliff now!” Sam growled and Danny let out a small “oomph” as one of the pillows finally got him.

“I’m out. Good luck, bro!” Tucker quickly slipped out the door, leaving Danny and Sam alone.

Sam was about to follow Tucker out when Danny stopped her, “please don’t leave!” She still had angry tears in her eyes. He frowned. This was not how he expected things to go. She watched him for a few seconds before sitting down on the couch, refusing to look at him. “Sam I’m so sorry, this is just a huge misunderstanding.”

“No, Danny. It’s not. You were going to turn me down to go out with someone else.”

“But that someone was still you!”

“Yeah, but you didn’t know that! We’ve been friends for years, and you were more interested in someone you just met a few months ago! I don’t want to be anyone’s second choice, Danny! I’ve been standing by for years as you continuously chose other girls over me. I thought we were done with that, and that you were finally choosing me first, but you won’t and you never will and I’m so stupid.” Sam put her head in her hands as she tried her hardest not to let tears fall.

And that was when he finally figured it out. It wasn’t just the moment of rejection, it was years of rejection, and at her biggest confession, she still thought he was choosing someone over her. Not to mention, Tucker witnessed most of the conversation. Sam rarely showed her emotions. She always had her heart guarded, and he knew this. Tucker knew this. Hell, she didn’t even tell them she was rich until after a few years of friendship. It took them a while to get her to open up to them. She was a pretty private person. She was probably already hurt like this before. And now, she was probably embarrassed.

“You’re definitely not stupid. I’m stupid. I should have known it was you. That was actually what I really liked about Chaos, she reminded me of you.”

Sam forced a small sarcastic laugh, “Yeah, right.”

“No really,” Danny sat on the couch next to her and grabbed her hand, placing it in both of his. “Sam, you’re absolutely incredible. How dumb would I have to be to not notice?” Sam gave him a pointed look. “Okay yeah but it’s not the way you think it is. I liked Chaos because she was a lot like you. She reminded me of you. And it just seemed easier to go with her because she was basically you, but she and I didn’t have a really great friendship that could have gotten ruined if we broke up or something. I could live without her, but I can’t live without you. You’re always my number one. Always have been, always will be. Even if I did just fuck everything up. I’m so sorry, Sam. I’m ready to be with you, if you’ll still have me.”

Sam stayed silent and stared at her lap, processing this new information. Of course she would forgive him; she always did. She just needed a little time.

Danny was getting nervous that he really did fuck this up for good. This was so fucking important! He couldn’t risk fucking this up! Sensing her hesitation, Danny tried one more thing to get her back. One thing he hasn’t done before. One thing he just learned how to perfect.

“Sammy, I’m sorry,” a duplicate popped up next to her on the other side of the couch, startling her.

“Please forgive me?” Another duplicate was floating in front of her, hanging upside down, hair flopping all over the place.

“I know I’m a dummy but,” Sam snapped her head towards a third duplicate.

“I’m only a dummy because I’m in love. With you,” the real Danny finished. Sam looked back and forth between all the Dannys.

“We’re sorry, Sammy,” all the duplicates said at once.

Sam was trying really hard to hold back a smile. “You learned how to duplicate,” she stated simply.

Original Danny grabbed her hands. “Sam. I will make this up to you. I promise.”

She could hear the determination in his voice and sighed. “You better.”

Danny smiled and hugged her. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!! I love you so much!”

Sam pushed him off of her. “I love you too, you fucking idiot.”

“But I get to be your idiot!” Sam couldn’t hold her laughter back anymore. “Oh!” Danny shouted, “Will you go to the dance with me? Please?”

Sam pretended to ponder the answer before saying “alright”.

“Yay!” All 4 Dannys cheered. The duplicates on either side of her kissed her cheeks as the real Danny kissed her forehead tenderly. The final duplicate, feeling left out, squeezed his way in to give her a hug.

Sam was now roaring with laughter before kissing the real Danny sweetly. “You know, duplicates won’t always get you out of trouble,” she warned.

“Yeah, but they could come in handy for other things,” he wagged his eyebrows up and down suggestively before passionately kissing her, the duplicates kissing her neck and touching her in near-dangerous places.

Sam bit back a moan, eyes lustful before smirking, “I think you just found a way to make it up to me.” She began dragging the real Danny and one of his duplicates back to his room. Fuck the movies.

#phic phight 2021 #danny phantom #danny fenton #sam manson #tucker foley #amethyst ocean #also yes I took a prompt that was kinda anti-AO and turned it into AO #it's my super power #AO ho 4 life #stephanie writes sometimes

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celiaxan · 4 years

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Looks of Love (Saiouma Fic)

He wondered why no one else could see it.

See the way their gazes follow each other sometimes subconsciously. See one's glance linger far too long to be considered platonic. See how one of them looked when the other laughed. See the soft looks they would give each other when the other wasn’t looking.

Or: a really self-indulgent fic based on my obsession of how lovers look at each other bc it's so soft istg

(whole fic under read-more and ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30140310)

A/N: listen to reflections by the neighborhood for mood music!

Kokichi Ouma loved the way two people looked at each other when they were in love.

(Not that he would admit that to anyone, but still…)

No one else seemed to get it.

But the small lingerings of stares after the other has already looked away. The faintest traces of red still on their face, quickly fading to pink. The mouth formed the smallest of smiles, because how could you frown while around them?

It was sickening at first.

Then it became addicting.

No one (from his group of Rantaro, Miu, and Tsumugi) believed him when he called out Kaede and Maki.

He wondered why no one else could see it.

Plus, the way Maki glared at him when he talked to Kaede said a lot.

He wasn’t even surprised when they announced their relationship to the class.

(And he won’t deny collecting some pocket cash from the group in the process, but it’s their fault for not believing him and betting in the first place!)

Kokichi doesn’t know when it started.

If he had to guess, he’d say it happened in two parts.

The first being his first real crush. He had just turned 13, not yet even knowing the urge of strong feelings, hormones controlling his every action.

Still being young, unknowing, and everything, he got over his other ‘crushes’ and ‘relationships’ as quickly as he got into them. He still hadn’t known what was wrong with scanning classmates in the room, picking the girl he thought was prettiest, or the girl that had helped him pick up his pencil, or the girl that he had thought reminded him of himself, a sort of kinship, and told his other friends that he liked them.

Oh, how he regretted leading on whatever poor girl he ‘liked’, just to run away from any sort of sign of confession. It was a cycle of sorts. Pick a girl, say that he liked her, run away or watch her confess to another guy, pick another girl.

Tiring. It was tiring.

He didn’t even remember half of their names.

He did remember someone though.

A boy in the corner that read books during recess.

Kokichi didn’t know his name.

All he knew was that the boy was interesting in his own little way.

It was the first time Kokichi actually looked forward to speaking to someone. It was the first time Kokichi had wanted to know more about the boy. It was the first time Kokichi actually waved someone down in the hallways when their paths met just to say hello. It was the first time Kokichi cared about another person’s opinion.

It was… the first time he felt his face heat up to something as weird as the boy finally saying Kokichi’s name instead of calling him ‘You’.

He still didn’t know his name.

Only the gleam in his eyes when he looked up at Kokichi.

But that only made him more interesting.

They talked quite a bit.

When Kokichi was kicked out from playing soccer with the other boys for cheating and bribing other players. When Kokichi purposely faked an injured knee to talk to him. When Kokichi brought him to his house to study (and oh, the little brat told his step-brother, Rantaro, his name, but not Kokichi).

He loved it.

The boy brought a puzzle one time for Kokichi, who mentioned that he liked them. He started bringing two grape juice boxes instead of one. They would read together. They would bring out harder puzzles. The boy somehow understood Kokichi, knew which part of the homework he would struggle with, even if he lied and said he knew it all.

The boy moved away.

Kokichi didn’t cry.

He wasn’t even sad.

But even he knew that was a lie.

Glancing at him, the boy told Kokichi he was moving. Kokichi had been so used to tossing away random friends, random girls, he thought that’d be the same, he was okay with it.

He wasn’t.

A year later, after a big realization (and six ‘Am I Gay’ quizzes), he told Rantaro.

Rantaro choked on his tea. “Oh, cool. That means I’m not the only gay in the family. But uh...”

“What, spit it out, dear sibling. I have to rob a bank in Russia later!”

“I already knew,” Rantaro continued, ignoring Kokichi’s arson plans. “It was kind of obvious after I met your little friend,” Rantaro suddenly raised an eyebrow, smiling into his tea. “Or boyfriend?”

Kokichi’s world shattered with another revelation. “He wasn’t my boyfriend! Also, I didn’t like him.”

Or did I?

“No, you totally did.”

“Did not.”

“Whatever,” Rantaro muttered as an end to that conversation.

Kokichi sat there in silence, contemplating. Finally, he started again. “How did you know?”

Rantaro hummed for a bit before deciding on an answer. “If I had to pick a deciding factor, it’d have to be the way you looked at him. Especially when you thought no one was looking.”

“Really?” Kokichi asked, suddenly interested. “What did I look like?”

Rantaro smiled one of his ‘I Know More Than You’ smiles. “Figure it out yourself.”

That was the first part.

Kokichi had forgotten about it for a bit after screaming curses of ‘ fucking asshole! ’ and ‘ your days are numbered, dusty bitch ’. He had never truly forgotten, of course, but instead, it was just pushed to the back of his mind.

But like most things, his problems were solved due to social media.

And TikTok.

Scrolling through gay TikTok, he saw a ‘gay couples through history’ one. Suddenly gaining his interest, he actually tried to watch this one.

Pictures.

Pictures of gay and lesbian couples flashing through the screen, both of the people looking extremely intimate.

But- their looks- the way they looked at each other. It was mesmerizing. Kokichi couldn’t get more of it.

It was a look of fondness, so soft, that he could feel the attraction through the screen. The photos themself were black and white, but their impact was still strong.

Kokichi looked at them and knew - swore on his life- that he wanted something like that. Small glances full of affection. It held so little but meant so much.

He had always thought that people looked the brightest when they looked at the one they love.

And the eyes.

The eyes were soft, dreamy looking, dare he even say- beautiful.

He wanted that.

He already gave that.

That was the second part.

“So, get it, Shumai? That’s how I called all the class couples before they got together! It’s because I’m super observational and very good at connecting these pieces.”

“...It actually sounds like you’re a sap.”

“What?! Shuichi, you’re so mean to me!”

Now, Kokichi was sitting in a classroom with his current crush, Shuichi Saihara, on the roof. Their hands almost connected on a desk.

And as Kokichi looked closer, Shuichi began looking increasingly nervous, like he was going to break something if he wasn’t careful enough.

“So, do you know where your friend, uh- ‘Boy’, you called him, do you know where he is now?” Shuichi asked suddenly.

“Huh? Nope, I don’t!” Kokichi responded. They were both drinking grape juice boxes. “Why, jealous? Have you finally fallen for me after all?”

Shuichi stiffened, moving the topic along more. “Then...what would you say to him if he was here right now?”

Sighing, Kokichi sank down in his seat, thinking intensely. “I don’t know. I would tell him I want to be friends again. Maybe if I was bold enough, I would tell him that he was my first gay crush.”

A small chuckle before Kokichi continued. “That’s got to be an honor! First crush from Kokichi Ouma himself!”

Shuichi laughed awkwardly. “Who knows. Maybe they’re closer than you think.”

“What’s got you so optimistic?”

At that, Shuichi stood up, and picked up some of his books with one hand, turning around to reach out a hand for Kokichi. “Take a guess?”

Kokichi only looked Shuichi in the eye as the sun shined behind him. A familiar pair of amber eyes with some sort of gleam shined down on him.

Oh.

And wow. How stupid was he to fall for the same person twice?

Not grabbing Shuichi’s hand, Kokichi stood up on his own on an impulse. “You-!”

The boy- Shuichi’s eyes sparkled with a familiar look. It was the look that Kokichi had seen variations of over and over again. It was a face Shuichi looked at him with the most. He felt foolish for not recognizing it earlier.

Shuichi interrupted him- because he’s the only one that can without being told off by Kokichi- with a soft smile and everything. “I also loved the way you looked at me, because... I looked at you like that too.”

#saiouma #danganronpa v3 killing harmony #fanfiction #writing #fic #the gay look™#kokichi ouma's gay awakening #ft. shuichi saihara two times #childhood friends (sort of)#kaemaki (minor)

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theyreonlynoodlesmike · 4 years

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Hi! First I wanna thank you for reawakening my unhealthy obsession with the boys. I was wondering if I could request a male poly fic, where the reader is a bit of a loud mouth who gets in a fight with someone and the boys are like “we like this one”. You can add any extra bits you want. I trust you, so I’m sure it’ll turn out amazing no matter what you do!

YES! My first male x boys fic! Okay, so, I’m totally down with writing this. Here it is and I hope you enjoy!!!

Tough Guy (Poly!Lost Boys x Male!Reader) fic

Warnings: minor 80s typical homophobia, harassment

Word Count: 1299

The boys were always looking for trouble. Sometimes they didn’t even have to look very hard. All it would take was to walk past a particularly rowdy group of surf-nazis and they’d get pulled into a fight. Of course, some members of their group were far more willing to fight than others. Marko and David were the first to drop whatever they were doing and dive right in. Paul usually did the best he could from keeping Marko from using his vampire strength on the boardwalk, and Dwayne preferred to watch from the side-lines. He’d drop anyone if they really tried to pick a fight with him, but he preferred to let the others handle it.

They had been leaning on the railing, minding their own business, when they heard someone start to yell. Their enhanced hearing could pick up any voice they wanted, but the boys quickly tuned in to this one. They were always looking for entertainment, and it seemed like a show was about to get put on only a few feet away from them.

They saw you, a boy their age, standing up to a bunch of surf-nazis nearly twice your size. They saw the pink triangle decorating the arm of your jacket. They knew what it meant, as they’d been alive when it was used, and they admired your gumption. This was the 80s. People weren’t exactly open about their sexualities, especially guys. It seemed the surf-nazis didn’t like that.

“What, did I make the little fairy mad?” The leader said, and his friends jeered and taunted you. They could see from here that you were getting fired up. You weren’t backing down, and you weren’t turning the other cheek. They watched you scoff.

“Fairy? Is that the best you can come up with, asshole?” You asked. The surf-nazis grabbed you by the front of your jacket. It wasn’t exactly the best comeback in the world, but standing up to them was ballsy enough.

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?” The surf-nazi asked, getting in your face. They watched you smirk, as if you knew whatever you were going to say next was probably going to earn you a punch in the face.

“No, but I suck your father off with it.” And the boys couldn’t believe their ears. Oh, they liked you. They watched the surf-nazis smirk fall off his face and turn into a cruel sneer. He looked as if he was going to cock back his fist to land a punch right on the jaw, but you kneed him in the groin first. The second his grip loosened, you were gone like a shot. You ran through the crowd, and it only took a second for them to realize you were heading right for them. Well, for the stairs besides them. You were probably going to make your escape down into the beach, but the boys guessed that the minute you hit the sand the surf-nazis wouldn’t hesitate to chase you down and beat the shit out of you. You were easily the most interesting person that had walked onto the boardwalk that night, and the boys couldn’t deny that they liked you. Maybe even wanted you. They weren’t going to let a bunch of surf-nazis ruin your pretty face, or worse. So, David tossed his cigarette aside, revved his engine, and nodded to the empty seat behind him just as you were about to pass.

You gripped the railing. You looked at him and the others, and then at the group of six quickly catching up to you.

Four insanely hot bikers. A bleached haired blonde with a Billy Idol vibe, a personification of tall, dark and handsome, a Def Leppard look-a-like, and a baby-faced cupid. Or six ugly, homophobic assholes that were definitely going to beat your ass instead of rail it. It was an easy choice.

You hopped on the back of his bike, and then he drove down the stairs. The boys hooted and hollered as they descended, and you flipped off the surf-nazis as you zipped past. To Davids pleasure, you laughed and gripped onto him tight.

When they took you back to the cave, it was like you had been there forever. You quickly asked for their names and supplied your own, and you were sitting on the couch and laughing with them like you had known them for years. Finally, Marko said,

“Y’know, that was pretty ballsy what you said back there.” He said. You heard them all chuckle, and then Marko nudged your leg. He was sitting at your feet, and he grinned up at you with his nail between his teeth. His light brown eyes were alight with something you couldn’t quite read, and you smiled down at him. Dwayne was sitting at your side, and, when you looked over at him, he was giving you a small smile as well. He had dark, intense eyes, and his jacket did nothing to hide his chest. You had taken a few glances, but had spared yourself the embarrassment of taking a real, long look. His smile had given you a boost of confidence.

“They’re just mad because they pent up all their ‘sinful desires’. Tough guy back there probably just wanted to fuck me and didn’t know how to handle it.” You said. You were a loud mouth when you weren’t fucked up, and the boys had already supplied some herbal refreshment. The one responsible for that was Paul. He was sitting next to you and facing you, his arm wrapped around behind you on the couch. You liked his attention. Paul had crystal blue eyes and perfect smile. When he leaned in close, you could feel your heart fluttering in your chest.

“Who wouldn’t?” He asked, and your brain stopped for a moment. You had thought that they were just cool. Unbothered by your sexuality. It had never occurred to you that any of them could be gay as well. But that remark? It was definitely flirting. Or, at least, you’d like to think it was. “Speaking of pent up...” Paul gave you a bright smile, and his hand reached to grip your thigh. Okay, he was definitely flirting. You looked at the others, as if to see if this was a trick or not. Your eyes fell onto David.

He was the farthest away, and he was sitting in his wheelchair. He had a cigarette balanced between his lips, and he seemed to be watching you with great interest. Almost, calculating. You caught his eyes, and you could feel Pauls hand start to massage your thigh. This wasn’t how you planned having your night going, but you could think of a lot of worse things that could happen. But you had to make sure.

“You guys are...” You trailed off, deciding to let them fill in the blanks. Three of them answered at the same time, and Dwayne started playing with your hair instead,

“Gay?” Markos voice asked from below.

“Together?” David asked from across of you.

“Horny?” Paul asked, and he leaned in so his breath would fan your ear. It made you shiver, and you didn’t even have to look over to know that he was grinning. Okay, that was one way to get your questions answered. Four hot, gay, and horny guys that were apparently together. Interesting, definitely interesting.

“I think, I could use a drink.” You breathed, and Davids eyes flashed with something, something you hadn’t quite caught, right as you said that. You weren’t talking about water, and that was pretty obvious. You were going to need something a little stronger if you didn’t want to freak out because four hot guys were about to fuck you. David smiled, and said,

“Marko, bring me my wine.”

#marko the lost boys #the lost boys david #paul the lost boys #the lost boys #the lost boys dwayne #the lost boys marko #david the lost boys #the lost boys paul #dwayne the lost boys #the lost boys imagines #the lost boys 1987 #the lost boys x reader

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sleepymarmot · 3 years

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The Green Knight

I have once again committed the grave sin of reading something just to watch an adaptation immediately afterwards

...and unfortunately, it resulted in me not liking the adaptation very much and now I can’t tell whether it is because of its own merits or simply by comparison.

Why did a 2021 film have worse pacing than a XIV century poem? The poem’s plot had me genuinely engaged even when impatient; I can’t count how many times I glanced on my phone or hit pause while watching the film. But I can appreciate that the film had a twist/fakeout ending of its own which also caught me off guard.

I recognized Alicia Vikander as Essel but not as the Lady, I thought it was a different actresss lmao. And then wondered which of them was playing the wife in the vision and apparently it was someone else...

The old woman in the castle was not played by the same actress as Gawain’s mother, though, but it was supposed to be some kind of representation of her, right? Like a vessel or a spirit? Since in the poem that was Morgan but in the film she’s in Camelot and Gawain is her son and she’s uhh arranging a test for him so he can mature before he inherits the crown I guess. And also that’d explain how the sash turned up in the castle in the film version.

I’m kind of disappointed that the encounter with the Lady manages to be less sexy than the poem version where she literally goes “I’m trapping you in your bed :)” and he tries to play it cool and the UST goes on for three separate long scenes. But no, let’s disgust and/or scandalize viewers with onscreen bodily fluids instead 🙄

Speaking of that: I wasn’t impressed with moments of vulgarity that seemed to exist only to make the film edgier. On the other hand, I don’t think the Lady kissed Gawain; if you got the R rating, then use it and give that guy a handjob right in the forest, don’t be shy! Again, the XXI century work is somehow less gay than the XIV century one where Gawain kisses his host six times in total, and on the third day it’s three times in a row and so passionate that the recipient remarks on it. Meanwhile, even the one kiss remaining in the 2021 version is unwanted and predatory. Representation...

It’s a shame that what I found most striking about the poem, the structure and the true nature of the challenge, became muddled in the film. “You thought it was a weirdly long distraction? It was the real challenge all along” and “A hero’s ability to withstand a fantastical danger is a metaphor for being an exemplary member of society” are, IMO, not at all outdated (but maybe these are the default in this kind of literature and I’m just uninformed). I don’t think the film even explains what’s actually going on — how does a viewer unfamiliar with the original story interpret the ending? Also why does this film hate bright colors :( I thought we were past the “everything was brown dirty and grim in the Middle Ages” stage? Why make a long speech about what the color green represents, it’s a film, you can show me!

One thing I caught while writing this post: Gawain isn’t actually a knight during the movie, right? We see him knighted in the bad end flash-forward. Which means he didn’t lie to the bandits! I thought this was another of his failures — denying he’s a knight out of cowardice...

Another note connected to it: I don’t buy that “Why would you ask me that? Why would you ever ask me that?” is a criticism/deconstruction of chivalry because Gawain isn’t acting like a knight! And if the previous paragraph is correct, he isn’t one at all! This might be a criticism of his personal assholery, male entitlement maybe, but not the role Gawain is meant to play — I can’t imagine the ideal he’s supposed to live up to, the virtuous and courteous poem!Gawain, asking for a reward upfront.

I did like the headless girl (an actual saint, as I just learned), the giants and the “photograph”. (The commentary for the poem said it was being subversive by not detailing Gawain’s adventures, so it’s funny the film put them “back” in.) I enjoyed the final confrontation. As much as I wish I could see the gorgeous green-and-gold outfit I love the fantastical tree look too; I don’t mind that the Green Knight and the Lord are two different characters and I understand why the three days of hunting and seduction had to be condensed into one. And I did find it clever that Gawain has a vision of dying miserably when he’s in despair and that prompts him to act twice, not only in the Green Chapel but when he’s tied up in the forest, another green chapel (only figured this out after the movie ended). So I’m not just complaining because an adaptation changed something — something I just encountered. But, well, it’s a very slow film with a protagonist who goes past “yes I know he’s supposed to be a failure, that’s what his character development is about” into the “actively unlikeable” territory, and also has the same expression for half of the movie. So, as a person who knows nothing about arthuriana beyond this poem I just read, I don’t feel competent to give a verdict more objective than this: an artsy film didn’t entertain me as much I expected to.

(Side note: As I was watching, “To the Headless Horseman” was somewhere in the back of my mind, and now that I saw someone else mention it too, I realize how well the lyrics fit, especially with the poem version. “God keep the bounty hunter who shows mercy to his prey”... “And as you approached, I could sense the threat, but a stranger’s just a friend who hasn’t shared their secrets yet”...)

(Side note 2: I like how the poem presents an etiquette puzzle. The fact that Gawain was trying to save his life was immediately forgiven; in fact, the initial terms never specified he would have to die to the Green Knight’s blow, only “accept” it. He got a cut on his neck not for cowardice, but for dishonesty on the third day, i. e. keeping the gifted sash a secret. But if he kept the promise made to the husband, he would have broken the promise of silence made to the wife. Which means that the correct choice would be not to accept the sash in the first place, which, coincidentally, is the choice that requires him to bravely accept his fate.)

#the green knight #blah blah blah #shout out to the two academics responsible for the russian translation and commentary for the poem. where would i be without them #as usual:#me during a movie: i have nothing to say #me afterwards: *typing furiously*

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porcupine-girl · 4 years

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Untamed Fic Rec List

Look, most of these are reasonably popular fics already, so if you’ve been in this fandom for a couple months you’ve likely read them. Which is not how I normally do rec lists, but I’m new enough to Untamed that I’m still reading through all the fics by authors I know from other fandoms plus ones that have been personally recced to me, so I haven’t made it into the deep dive of underappreciated fics that I normally like to rec.

It doesn’t help that one of these recs is 445K, so for like two weeks straight it was basically all I was reading.

BUT if, like me, you are rather new to this fandom and its fics, here are some good ones:

The Same Moon Shines Series by sami

This is the 445K behemoth, made up of 23 works, and is technically made up of three interrelated series. The first fic, which establishes the whole universe/multiverse, is 139K on its own. Basically, decades into the canon future, WWX invents time travel.

He goes back to being born, but is reborn with all his memories intact. And he fixes, like, fucking everything and it’s so, so fucking satisfying. Everything’s not perfect though - for example, he like lowkey (highkey?) traumatizes LXC by showing him his previous life via empathy and that has some consequences eventually. Featuring ace poly JC/LXC/WQ triad.

Then in a cracky subseries, appropriately called “ridiculous future bullshit”, we assume that the main six from this universe (WWX, LWJ, JC, WQ, LXC, JYL, & Lan Sizhui) all achieve immortality and find out what they’re up to in the modern day, where they’re revered in the Five Nations (this does a great job of staying in the canon world instead of ours) but of course white Western assholes do things like try and make a disney movie called Hanguang-Jun and the Yiling Patriarch where they marry LWJ off to a girl.

And then in a third subseries, which so far has only one WIP fic, we go back to the canon universe, find out that JC and LWJ were stuck there watching WWX disappear in his time machine array (so WWX actually split off into another universe, he didn’t rewind his own), and so they get into the array having no idea what it will do but wanting to chase down the asshole they love. And so a third universe is born, where they are both born with their memories but WWX is not. I absolutely love seeing how different their priorities are from WWX’s in terms of what they want to change in their new life.

(Also: This is technically a MDZS fic that usually goes with novel canon over show canon if there’s a discrepancy, so if like me you haven’t read the whole novel you might need to look up some plot points now and then.)

The Vermillion Ribbon by @unforth

AU where Wei WuXian was taken in by Wen Qing and Wen Ning’s parents instead of the Jiangs. LWJ (who is the POV character) is a super DUPER dick to him at first, like even moreso than in canon, but the speed with which he regrets his choices is breathtaking and extremely satisfying.

LWJ is a VERY unreliable narrator. He has absolutely no idea what is going on with himself or anyone else at any point in time. Eventually he at least becomes self-aware of this fact, and can at least go wait am I missing something? I think I’m missing several somethings but fuck if I know what. Wei WuXian not understanding this about him leads to some miscommunication, because WWX doesn’t get that LWJ needs absolutely everything spelled out to him in single-syllable words with crayon drawings and y’know, WWX isn’t going to be straightforward anytime he can pretend he’s TOTALLY FINE :D :D :D instead.

LWJ’s friendship with NHS is magical, and NHS in general gets 810% more opportunity to scheme and plot pre-time-of-NMJ’s-canonical-death than in canon and is honestly living his best life. It’s also valuable for LWJ to have a scheming friend because, aside from realizing he misjudged WWX, this is how he starts to figure out that he’s a dumbass who has no idea what is going on ever. But he can count on NHS to always be ten steps ahead, so it’s okay.

(ETA: I’m sorry, I made unforth feel like maybe LWJ was too dense, and no, he’s very much not stupid in general. Like, honestly the fact that he becomes so self-aware of the things he’s bad at, and does things like trust NHS to always understand the stuff he’s missing, makes him come off as very intelligent. It’s just in the specific realm of understanding anything that people say or do that isn’t 100% honest and straightforward that he is just entirely hopeless in a rather relatable way, and like I said, WWX’s go-to is hiding any and all pain so that is a bad combo.)

The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou

This diverges from canon when WWX is on his way to Jin Ling’s one month celebration, but doesn’t bring Wen Ning along. So when Jin Zixun attacks it goes very poorly for him, poorly enough that Jin Zixuan thinks he’s dead and it’s reported back at Carp Tower as such. Sending LWJ into a dissociative state. He manages to break through to reality just long enough to find out that Jin Zixuan took WWX’s body back to the burial mounds and left it with Wen Qing, and to get on his sword and go directly there. Thankfully, it turns out that WWX is not dead, but only just barely so.

So LWJ stays there, because now that he spent some amount of time (he isn’t really sure if it was like five minutes or two hours, because dissociation) thinking WWX was dead he now knows that he should never, ever be anywhere but with WWX.

Honestly, it almost feels like a spoiler to say WWX doesn’t die, but there’s no major character death warning while there IS one for graphic violence so it’s not a chose not to warn either, so that’s technically not a spoiler. But things are touch-and-go for him for a very, very long time. And the romance is a slow burn with pining galore. And you get to see LWJ teaching A-Yuan to play the guqin, so like imagine being WWX and you wake up from almost dying to see that going on in your cave.

Velle: to will, to wish by @aerlalaith

This one is actually canon-compliant, and as it’s both quite a bit shorter and more straightforward, plot-wise, than the others, my writeup will be short but that doesn’t mean I loved it any less. Basically, it’s the process of LWJ deciding to adopt A-Yuan in the aftermath of WWX’s death. It starts just after he’s been beaten for turning against the other cultivators, and at first it’s mostly his grief and both physical and emotional pain. A-Yuan starts slipping in to visit him. and LWJ isn’t sure if he’s really okay with that at first.

Of course he becomes very okay with it, but the Lan elders and Lan Qiren and all aren’t just going to be like “ok sure you can barely walk you should def adopt a four-year-old of unclear origins who may or may not have something to do with your demonic dead boyfriend and the evil people he helped, that’s cool,” so it’s not that simple.

There’s a followup fic where, years later, LWJ chooses the courtesy name Sizhui and Xichen gives him shit for it.

save a sword, ride a socialist by sysrae / @fozmeadows

Continuing on my grand tour of Untamed fics by my fave writers from other fandoms, I get to enjoy having overlapped with foz on a third straight fandom which is just fabulous. I totally thought I wasn’t gonna read AUs and then this asshole comes along and writes AUs, which is not playing fair.

I especially love this because it’s modern day but much like ridiculous future bullshit it’s modern day in (more or less) a canonish world, not our world. So like, they fly on swords, but not long distances because it’s easier to take a train or drive rather than use up all that spiritual energy.

Lan Qiren and Jin Guangshan miss the old ways, though, and they think the best ancient tradition to bring back is arranged marriage! Because that will go over well with today’s youth. They try to make LWJ marry Mianmian but he’s like “um I’m gay” and LQ throws a hissy fit about that so Jin Zixuan (who is LWJ’s bestie and is fucking hilarious) hatches a plot for LWJ to cause LQ to stroke out by bringing WWX to Lan Xichen’s birthday party as his fake date.

But when LWJ and WWX meet up to talk this over, LWJ is instantly fucked because WWX has a small child with him and it turns out that this small child is the orphan he adopted. He doesn’t notice he’s fucked until a few days later, though, when WWX comes over for “kissing practice” and they fuck and he calls Jin Zixuan all “I think I caught a feel, what do?” and JZX is like idk, you’re a moron, don’t ask me to clean up your moron messes. And the next day LWJ buys a car seat.

Lan Wangji heard about Jack 110% Zimmermann and said “challenge accepted,” is what I’m saying here. And now I’ve written as much about this 33k fic as I did about the 445k, so I’ll shut up before I just recount the entire plot.

#the untamed #fic recs #wangxian #if I haven't recced your fic I probably haven't read it yet #literally this is most of the fics I've managed to read so far #when I say the same moon shines took up all of my reading time for 2-3 weeks I am being entirely serious #and then vermillion ribbon is 220+k so it took a week or two too #so like i've got ao3 emails waiting in my inbox for fics by tippy and moosefeels and through_shadows_falling and a few others #I promise I will get to them!

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timeagainreviews · 3 years

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My Series 10 Rewatch: Knock Knock

Hello, my fantastic friends! I am sorry I have been so quiet. I got coronavirus in February and it really wiped out my energy. I am finally starting to bounce back and feel like leaving the house once more. This beautiful Scottish spring we’re having has definitely helped. I also lost my grandpa this week, so I've been all over the place, emotionally. Obviously, such a big pause in the middle of a series 10 rewatch is disruptive, so I would rather just dive back in if it's all the same. When last we were gathered, I was talking about "Thin Ice." Since then, the ice has thawed and I am now up to series 10 episode four- "Knock Knock," by one-time Doctor Who writer Mike Bartlett.

An aspect of Doctor Who which I love about Steven Moffat’s era is that the Doctor and his companions didn’t spend every waking moment of their lives together. Unlike companions of the past, who basically left behind their family lives to galavant across time and space, the companions of the Moffat era had home lives. Not only did this make for some humorous moments, such as the Doctor landing his TARDIS in Clara’s bedroom on date night, it also set up the characters for something of an actual life. "Knock Knock," uses this separation of worlds to establish one of its central themes- can you have a normal life with the Doctor?

Being a poor student in London, Bill is forced to look for a flat with a group of people she only sort of knows. This is your typical group of students, eclectic and young. The biggest commonality they have is they can’t afford a place on their own. One of the ways in which this makes the episode suffer is that none of them has much chemistry together. However, it does enable Bartlett to explore deeper concepts, such as the fear of meeting new people. Our characters are forced to deal with a deadly situation with people who are basically strangers.

The other commonality they have is Bill’s mate, Shireen. I got momentarily excited the first time I heard her name, but only because I thought it was going to be Rose’s best mate Shareen. Also, it would mean that Rose and Shareen had like a 10 year age difference, which would be weird. Shireen is a bubbly sort that seems gung-ho about everyone getting on. This doesn’t stop 90% of their interactions from being a total cringefest. Not one of these characters is particularly likeable. Pavel, the musician of the group, and the one character with maybe a bit of culture becomes a wall pretty early on, so it’s a bland time from there on out. But that’s getting a bit ahead of ourselves.

After a montage of disappointing flats ("Oh my god, the toilet is is what room?") the gang stands defeated. But like a beacon of light, comes a glimmer of hope in the form of John, a man who clearly prowls the streets for groups of youths. The gang is willing to overlook the obvious stranger danger about John because he has something they need- a giant house at a reasonable price. It’s another one of those deeper concepts being explored here that I think Doctor Who does so well. The show operates well when it preys upon basic fears. In this case, it’s the fear of the creepy landlord. The fear that your home life may be dictated by a creepy man who carries a tuning fork and forbids you to enter certain parts of the house like it’s Beauty and the Beast.

Arriving as if to say "No, Bill, you can’t have a normal life," is the Doctor. After using his TARDIS to move her belongings, Bill is quick to send him off. She even foregoes the traditional six-pack of beer and pizza, the universal payment for friends helping one move house. Of course, the moment the Doctor enters the derelict abode, his Time Lord senses are pinging. The Doctor isn't just an embarrassing "grandfather," type, but also a threat to any semblance of a normal life Bill can hope to have. As I said, this is familiar territory in the Moffat era. A funny side effect of the Doctor's attempts at allowing his companions to live normal lives is it only adds to the sharp contrast between both existences. Perhaps this is immersion therapy on the Doctor's behalf. Letting his friend remember what the world is actually like so as to not disassociate her from her own time and place. Or perhaps it is the Doctor softening the blow of eventually losing his friend.

The Doctor leaves long enough for two things to happen. Firstly, Pavel is listening to some music and suddenly is eaten by the house. Nobody seems to notice. Secondly, the new housemates have a bit of a games night for their first night at 11 Cardinal Road. There's no cellphone reception and the house is nowhere near up to code. I applaud them for trying to build up these characters, but it never really gels. Their merriment is cut short after hearing a noise in the kitchen. Scooby-Doo style, Bill leads them to the pantry where she finds the Doctor never actually left. They decide to head to bed, but the Doctor decides he's going to stay up with Felicity and Harry and listen to music. He also reminds Bill to maybe check on Pavel who has not been seen all day.

Now back in the sitting room, the gang is surprised to find John present. He addresses their problems with the amenities and waxes strange about having a daughter to look after. The Doctor asks John who the Prime Minister is, but he is unable to answer. Before they can ask more questions, John disappears down the hallway, but not before sounding his tuning fork against the wood. On her way to bed, Bill has the most cringe conversation with her new housemate, Paul. Paul fancies Bill. Bill fancies girls. I get that they may have wanted a scene where Bill flat out says to the audience that she's gay, but Paul comes off as super creepy. I wouldn't have an issue with this, but I feel like we're meant to find Paul endearing. It's hard for me to place what exactly they were going for in this scene. Paul, mate, you just met her. You just moved in together. Maybe let the paint dry first.

Luckily, like a shot from the dark, the plot saves us from having to stand in the hallway of awkwardness. Paul, having gone to his room, screams. Thinking he's having a laugh, Bill and Shireen go knocking on his door, only to find the return knock sounding across the hallway wall. The house begins to creak and shudder while doors slam shut. It's like something from a haunted house movie. In many ways, it follows a familiar trope from Doctor Who. The house haunted by aliens. We've seen it in "Ghost Light," "Hide," or even Edward Grove from "The Chimes of Midnight." Though I would argue that here, there is less grist for the mill. "Knock Knock," is a more stripped back, simple story. And in that way, I find it begins to lose me as the mystery unravels.

As the housemates run through the house, trying to escape whatever is happening, they find Pavel in a state of flux. Something about the music on his record player skipping has kept him from being completely absorbed by the house. I will say, this is a great bit of body horror on the makeup department's behalf. Everything about Pavel looks like a guy getting eaten by a wall. As it turns out, the tuning fork and the music have more to do with what's going on as the Doctor discovers the house infested with alien lice known as "Dryads." Using his sonic screwdriver, the Doctor is momentarily able to draw the bugs out from the grain of the wood. The Dryad is not your common woodlouse, as it appears to move through wood like water. Even in my second viewing, I found myself wondering if this is kind of cool or kind of dumb. I vacillate between the two.

In many ways, this is both Doctor Who's greatest strength and its greatest weakness. The surreal nature of a time-travelling police box affords us things like sentient planets, talking chair frogs, and killer mannequins. On the other hand, it gives us farting aliens, gamma radiation in the form of lightning, and the Doctor screaming until a window smashes. I remember reading an Eighth Doctor book where horse people read books on their planet by licking them and tasting the story. Sometimes, Doctor Who is bloody brilliant, and other times, it's bloody embarrassing. But that's partly why I love it. This kind of freedom gives it freshness. One week we get a priest buzzing like a wasp as he talks, the next we get River Song and the Vashta Nerada.

Now, I'm not saying "Knock Knock," is bad, but it is a little dumb. I've already complained about the dopey kids nobody cares about, and the silly aliens that aren't that scary, but the end of this episode is where it really kind of evens itself out. As I said, I vacillate between this being a good and a bad story. We learn that the reason John doesn't want anyone up inside the tower of the house has nothing to do with safety, and everything to do with a dark secret. After discovering the unclaimed belongings of previous occupants over the span of decades, the housemates learn that they are just the latest in a long line of people being fed to the house.

I found the motivation of the Dryads a little hard to understand. It seems weird to me that a woodlouse would want to eat people, but here we are. As it turns out, John has found a way to keep his "daughter," Eliza, alive using the Dryads. After noticing they respond to sonic vibrations, John has been using the tuning fork the make them do his bidding. It's a simple arrangement- he feeds students to the Dryads, the Dryads keep Eliza alive as a wooden woman, hidden away in the tower like some forgotten ghost. Once again, the makeup department has done its job. You genuinely believe Eliza is a woman made from wood. I especially like how they used papery twine for her hair.

They do a good job giving reasons why the housemates can't call for help. No wifi, no reception. But it is hard to imagine that over the course of decades, nobody came looking at this giant house for clues of their missing loved ones. Maybe they did and the house ate them as well. All I know is that it's mighty convenient that not one prospective tenant said to their mum or dad "Hey, I'm moving into a giant house at 11 Cardinal Road." Hell, even the Doctor helped move Bill in. What was John's big plan for when the Doctor came around looking for his "granddaughter?"

By this point, several of the housemates have been eaten by the house. Honestly, I could care less about which ones. I think Paul got his, and of course poor wooden Pavel. Or would that be wooden panel? I can't stress how little I care about these characters. Am I cold? I don't think so. We never see them on the show again. They don't matter in the slightest. With the Dryads closing in, the Doctor and Bill have to think quick. Which is when they realise that the timelines don't match up. If John were Eliza's actual father, he would be long dead. Seeing as he is not also made of wood, they deduce that he is in fact not Eliza's father, but her son. Unable to say goodbye to his ailing mother, John has been preserving her. Eliza has been through so much trauma that she has completely forgotten this fact. It's all rather depressing if I'm honest.

Depressing is okay though. What's Doctor Who without the occasion trudge through misery? Of course, it's not all doom and gloom, as Eliza restores all of the young people, once again leaving me to question why they were eaten in the first place. Were they transmuted into energy and simply recombined? It's the best explanation we're going to get, which is fine. David Suchet gives a powerful performance as he begs his mother not to end their lives. His performance is, by far, one of the strongest elements of this episode. Eliza and John are both overtaken by the Dryads, who are off presumably forever. I suppose the threat of Dryads is no longer looming now that their puppet master is no longer pulling their strings.

All in all, I find myself without much to say about this episode. It's not bad, but it's not a banger either. Even writing this review has been a bit of a slog. I find myself hard-pressed to really have any strong feelings one way or the other, and sometimes, that's just how it is. I will say it is the brownest episode of Doctor Who I’ve seen since the ‘70s. The BBC really knew how to dull down colour back then. Sigh... The best I can say about "Knock Knock," is that it's fine, really. There's nothing really wrong with it other than being kind of dull. I think if they'd have tried harder to make the characters more relatable it could have helped. Not every villain needs to be the new Daleks or Weeping Angels. Unlike some of the other episodes in my series ten rewatch, my opinion on this episode has changed very little. I would be as equally surprised to hear someone say this episode was terrible as I would be to hear it's their favourite. This is the kind of Doctor Who you can have on in the background.

Much like we followed the lacklustre "The Unicorn and the Wasp," with the transcendent "Silence in the Library," I am very excited for the next episode in my rewatch- "Oxygen." Another anti-capitalist romp in the vein of "Smile," is just what I need right now. Now that I am back and feeling up to writing again, you should expect to see a bit more output. I wanted to cover the BBC's Youtube Dalek series, of which I have not watched a single frame. I've been putting it off because I wanted to talk about it on here. I have a few non-review articles in mind, but I don't like to promise too much. What I am saying is that you can expect more, soon! Take care!

#doctor who #series 10 #knock knock #David Suchet #bill potts #Pearl Mackie #Twelfth Doctor #Peter Capaldi #dryads #wood #bbc #tardis #rewatch #Time and Time Again

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plum-pudding-and-honey · 4 years

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MONTHLY RANGE : Eight & Charley

Storm Warning - 3.5/5 : the plot is not the best thing I've ever seen but it's still a good introduction story for Eight on audio and to be fair it just made me want to drop everything and hop after him. I like Charley's background but I really just can't stand her. I don't hate her, she's interesting and I totally understand that people love her but I've never really warmed up to her. I also have a problem with the "classic" format : 4 episodes of 20-30 minutes which, sure, allows the writers to give the story and the characters more development, but which I find particularly long. I just find it very hard to focus for two hours, unless the story is very compelling

Sword of Orion - 3/5 : (god this is loooong) The atmosphere was interesting, so was Deeva (although I thought her being an android was quite obvious but wtv). The other side characters were all quite boring though and I couldn't bring myself to care about them. The android/human war was also an interesting point, it's a shame it didn't get developed more than that

The Stones of Venice - 1.5/5 : Oh my God do I hate this. Two hours which felt more like six hours of whining and complaining and "Estella, my beloved, forgive me here" and in the end, I'm not even sure whether I want to kill the Duke or myself. Just... zero empathy for this guy and Estella. Pietro was a bit more interesting although fish gondoliers who have evolved to survive the sinking of the city? Really? No. (Not just because evolution doesn't happen over a hundred years. Try a million.) Churchwell was equally annoying (I mean, as a librarian, I'm all for art preservation but have some decency here man) and the cult, well I've got no opinion whatsoever on them, that's how useless they are in all of this. The only thing that kinda made this thing worthwhile was this bit of conversation between the Doctor, Charley and that gondolier guy about the Duke waiting a hundred years for Estella and how Charley points out how long it is waiting for someone to return and how Eight DID wait a hundred years before seeing Fitz again and I'm not okay about this (and this was released shortly after Escape Velocity was published so I'm definitely gonna take this as a Fitz reference fight me on this)

Minuet in Hell - 3/5 : The Doctor being imprisoned and amnesiac for 3/4 of the episode was very looong. I liked the interactions with Gideon Crane but since the viewer already knows which one is the real Doctor, I really didn't see the point of making this last for so long. Also it robbed us of more Eight/Brig time and that's a shame. And those American accents are just horrible, I couldn't understand most of what Dale and the Senator were saying. The vilains and the Psi (psy?) machine were kinda interesting (although they also sounded pretty annoying) but in two hours and a half, they really could have been developed a bit more. Same goes for Becky Lee and her supernatural hunter gig that was way underused. The Brigadier is a huge asset, let's be honest. And the EDAs are canon in the BF universe, so that's that. (yes there was a Fitz reference in The Stones of Venice, I will not shut up)

Invaders from Mars - 2/5 : I love the idea behind this episode : the panic caused by Orson Welles' reading of the War of the Worlds, a false invasion in fact hiding a real invasion. It could have been great. But it's not. First, those accents and voices, again NO. For a medium that relies only on sounds, it's really a big issue here (I mean how are you supposed to take the alien invaders seriously with those voices???). Mark Gatiss loves the Ice Warriors and we've seen with the Empress of Mars that he can write decent episodes with them so why didn't he use them here? It could have been so creepy (which, for a Halloween episode, would have been neat). Instead he gives us a cheap version of invaders, a nazi guy, Russians and an atomic bomb, and mobsters. And it's too much, it's too confusing, it's too many characters. It's a mess. The Doctor is adorable playing private detective but then he accidentally reveals his plan to the bad guys (I mean...) and the aliens are killed by the Russian guy everybody thought to be dead and his atomic bomb : no, that's bullshit. Also, bury your gays : totally gratuitous and unnecessary (what was even the point?). Yeah, huge disappointment.

The Chimes of Midnight - 6/5 : cHriStmAs wOuLdN't bE cHriStmAs wiThOuT oNe oF mY pLuM puDdiNgS (tfbgvfgtv) Finally something GOOD. Eight is at his best sassfull self, the different parts are well articulated, it's funny and creepy at the same time and the paradox surrounding Charley is well exploited. Robert Shearman even succeeded in making me care about Charley. Edith is touching, even the other characters are, and that ending is really nicely done and coherent. I also really like how Eight is depicted here, especially in his relationship to Charley (and his companions in general). He really cares about her and yet he doesn't tell her the truth, he's been lying to her ever since Storm Warning because he selfishly hopes that if he doesn't speak about it, it's all gonna go away, just like he will do later with Lucie and her auntie Pat and that's Eight in all his glory : he loves his companions but he's got this kind of superiority complex that makes him think he knows better than them and which makes him treat them like shit more often than not (and ok, Charley gets a lot of crap from him). They are all aware of that, as we are, and yet they still love him and we still love him and I don't even know why.

Seasons of Fear - 3.5/5 : The format was interesting, the change of scenery for each episode really helped to not lose interest in the story. I also liked Grayle, he's an interesting villain but the immortality thing could have been handled a bit better in my opinion, especially the losing your loved ones part. I actually liked Charley there and her varied suggestions to get rid of Grayle. The mystery around her thickens and I did not remember that ending! The Nimons were a bit unexpected but ok I guess. But I found the conclusion very disappointing, too easy.

Embrace the Darkness - 4/5 : I love the atmosphere of this one, especially the beginning : the "something touches you in the dark and you realise it's not your friend" trope is classic but the audio only aspect of the thing gives it something more (especially of you listen to it in the dark). Like the previous one, I liked the pace (it didn't feel like this thing would never end which is something worth mentioning). The fact that there aren't too many characters also helps a lot. And I can't help myself to compare it with Sword of Orion : the settings are similar, it's a huis-clos, and they're both written by Nick Briggs. I find Embrace the Darkness much better, the characters are actually likeable (and they all don't die at the end, quite the opposite) and interesting. The Cimmerians were also nicely done and I really liked how different senses are brought into focus here, how the viewer is brought closer to the characters because they can't see. Hearing becomes central then but taste and touch are also prominent (I especially liked the way the Cimmerians share their history with the Doctor and Charley). The Doctor is well-written (I love his "conversations" with Rosum) and this tendency to self pity himself every time he makes a mistake is very Eight (Orbis).

The Time of the Daleks - 2.5/5 : The first part was good. And then it got so confusing, I actually lost the plot several times because my mind kept drifting away. There are way too many comings and goings through those portals, too many side characters that weren't interesting in the least. Learman's motivations as a villain are ridiculous (she wants to kill Shakespeare to be the only one who remembers him because everyone else is too stupid to understand his works... yeah, right).

Neverland - 4.5/5 : Zagreus sits inside your head, Zagreus lives among the dead, Zagreus sees you in your bed and eats you when you're sleeping (sorry I had to put it). So … yeah, that was breath-taking. That was an amazing conclusion for Charley's arc, the neverpeople are pretty cool and Romana and Rassillon are a nice little treat. The plot is coherent and the two hours and a half passed very quickly which is always worth mentioning. About Eight and Charley, now. As I said, I'm not a fan of Charley : I find her too perfect (and I just can't stand how she speaks, I know it's kinda shallow but when her voice is the only thing you get out of her, that becomes kind of a big deal) and I really don't ship her with Eight (although I recognise that they might be romantically involved, a lot like Ten and Rose, I simply choose to not see it). That being said, I liked how she stood up to the Doctor at the beginning, how she called him out on his bullshit ("Happy Birthday, Charley! Happy Birthday, he says. Only it isn't my birthday. It isn't my birthday because I'm not supposed to have any more birthdays") and used the TARDIS against him. I also liked her comparison with Peter Pan because, yeah, that's the Doctor, she gets it. I understand why she asked him to shoot her at the end but I don't think she was fair asking him to do it because she knows, everybody knows, that he won't do it. He won't do it for someone he despises, so Charley? Nope. And yeah, her dying was the obvious solution, I get that, but that's the epitome of everything I don't like about her. Charley Pollard, always making the right decision even if it means sacrificing herself, Charley Pollard always nice and caring and clever and adventurous, and in a way she reminds me of Rose (although Rose was a jerk to Mickey) and I hate Rose. As for the Doctor... Finally he gets the consequences of his actions and yet you can't help but feel sorry for him. Because like Charley said he’s sweet and he truly thinks what he’s doing is good. And that cliff-hanger! I AM BECOME ZAGREUS! YES BABY. In conclusion, it’s a great episode, regardless of my feelings towards Charley

Zagreus - 4/5 : Let's be honest, the first time I listened to it, I hated it with all my guts (and I also fell asleep at some point in the middle), so I wasn't really looking forward to giving it another chance. But I'm glad I did. This time I really took the time to listen to it properly and knowing roughly where this was going, I loved it? I mean ok, this thing is more than three hours (not gonna lie, this was really difficult for me) and it's completely bonkers and WTF but there IS a certain coherence to the thing that I hadn't picked on the first time I listened to it. So, let's start with the obvious : Zagreus/the Doctor/Paul McGann giving us the performance of his life. He's GREAT and if I didn't already love him I would certainly after this. He's creepy and disturbing as Zagreus (he slapped Charley!!) and his voice when he's the Doctor, when he begs Charley to kill him ... yeah, I was dying inside there. By the way, I liked the parallel with Neverland and Charley begging the Doctor to kill her, except that she actually does it. The Brigadier/TARDIS was equally brilliant. I got a lot of the Doctor's Wife vibes here - except that the TARDIS is evil and HATES the companions, and her conversation with the Doctor, her fit of jealousy was brilliantly done. I also loved the bits with Five, Six and Seven (except it's not really them but it actually is) and they were hilarious when they're working together towards the end (Tweedledee, Tweedledum and Tweedle-ego). It was a nice hommage to Alice in Wonderland, coherent until the end (and let's be honest the bit with Schrodinger's cat only it's the Doctor who is in the box? Brilliant. Again.) And as an anniversary episode, it worked for me. I probably didn't get all the references but I picked up a few of them and it was nice to include the BF cast, even if it wasn't in their usual roles.

Overall opinion : This is not as bad as I remembered. I postponed relistening to these for a long time because I remembered it way worse than it actually is (in my defence, I listened to those episode some 8 years ago when my English wasn't so fluent). I still don't like the classic format because most of the episodes feel reaaaaally long and I'm not a fan of Charley. I did like her arc though, it was interesting to explore the fixed in time events and the consequences of the Doctor kicking the laws of time in the nuts, way before Ten. The resolution of this arc was also brilliant in my opinion with the anti-time and the Time Lords/Rassillon mythology. The quality is fluctuant : the Stones of Venice, Invaders from Mars and the Time of the Daleks being the bottom of the barrel while the Chimes of Midnight, Embrace the Darkness and Neverland/Zagreus are amazing. And Eight changes so much through his life : he's so hopeful and sweet and utterly optimistic, a drastic difference from the Time War series (which I just finished before listening to this) where, although his core qualities are still there, deep down, he's lost so much and been through so much crap from everyone. I don't know if any other Doctor went through that much (War Doctor excluded) tbh. His relationship to his companions is also quite unique I think, maybe I'll write something about that one day. Now for the Divergent Universe arc, which I don't remember fondly either. Let's see if I change my mind as well.

#doctor who #eight #eighth doctor #charley pollard #big finish #storm warning #sword of orion #the stones of venice #minuet in hell #invaders from mars #the chimes of midnight #seasons of fear #embrace the darkness #the time of the daleks #neverland #zagreus

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carriagelamp · 4 years

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~ Queer Lit 30 Day Book Challenge ~

I decided to do this challenge I came across for June! Originally it was designed as a “day-by-day” thing, but my June was way too hectic to do a write up every single day… so I decided to make a nice compilation for the end of the month instead!

This is perhaps not the “purest” form of the challenge but I wanted it to be personal for me. Growing up when I did and where I did, I had very little exposure to queer books, especially age-appropriate queer books. That being said, there’s some books on this list that are really only “queer” by technically, or through a secondary character rather than the main character. I debated whether to include these but finally decided that, yes, I would. I owe it to myself. Even though some of these books that aren’t “as queer” as other, they were (or are) really important to me as a queer person and my journey is understanding that, so I wanted to acknowledge them!

More info about the books and the challenge under the cut!

Day One: First Queer Book You Remember Reading

Color by Taishi Zaou and Eiki Eiki

Remember how I mentioned a lack of available, age-appropriate queer books? I was one of those kids who was definitely exposed (probably too young) to queer manga/yaoi. It wasn’t necessarily what I wanted, especially as a wee ace teen, but it was the best I had at the time and it meant the world to me at the time, to see same-sex relationships even if looking back on them is very “YIKES”.

I’m sure I read others before this, but Color is one of the first that I really remember and which I a) actually owned and which b) wasn’t completely repellent in hindsight! I haven’t reread it in probably over a decade so I have no idea how it stands up, but at the time it read like a much more “realistic” account of two teenagers developing a crush and starting a relationship and as a questioning teenager it really helped me realize that this was a real, viable option.

Day Two: Queer Book That Reminds You Of Home

The Witch Boy by Molly Knox Ostertag

I hummed and hawed about this one for a long time because honestly I tend to read books that make me feel far from home. I decided to go with The Witch Boy though because it’s a story that challenges gender norms and stars a large family out in the woods, running wild and exploring magic, and honestly it gives me vibes that remind me of vacationing with my extended family. We’re also partially ginger and inclined to run wild in the woods. If we knew magic we’d have used it for sure.

This book is about 13 year old Aster, who lives in a family where the women all become witches and the men all become shifters. Aster, however, has no interest in shapeshifting and instead finds ways to study magic and learn the arts of witchcraft while constantly being pushed out by his female relatives… though everything might change when a new danger, that may or may not be connected to Aster studying magic, begins to appear.

Day Three: Queer Book That Has Been On Your TBR Too Long

Beneath The Citadel by Destiny Soria

That was an easy choice, this has been sitting on my bookshelf for months, staring at me accusingly every time I enter my room. I’m really excited to read it (Magical heist? Rebellion? With an asexual protagonist? Yes please) but for some reason I have not gotten around to it. Some day, baby, some day.

Day Four: Queer Book With A Name Or Number In The Title

George by Alex Gino

George is an absolutely charming middle grade novel about a child named George who the world perceives as male… but who knows she’s definitely a girl. The novel begins when her class decided to put on a play about the novel they had just read: Charlotte’s Web. George is desperate to play Charlotte, her favourite character, but isn’t even allowed to try out because it’s a “girl’s role”. George and her best friend struggle with how to handle this problem and manage George’s secret amid elementary school and home drama.

This book is really adorable – it was a nice, easy, cozy read for an adult, and would also make a great read aloud to elementary-age children if you want to introduce them to transgender characters.

Day Five: Queer Book Where The Protag Has A Fun Job

The Magic Misfits by Neil Patrick Harris

Not actually a queer protagnoist, but a queer side character who plays a major role in the series. Mister Vernon, one of Leila’s fathers, has arguable the coolest job: he’s a retired stage magician turn magic shop owner, which is complete with large rabbit, hidden room, and tons of fascinating gadgets to help a young practical magician learn their trade. He is hands down one of the neatest character in the series and is a major catalyst throughout the series.

The first book follows Carter, a runaway orphan who practices street magic to get by, as he runs away from his horrible uncle and winds up meeting a gang of magic-loving friends in a small town. Hiding from his uncle is only the beginning though, and the mysteries surrounding the town and Mister Vernon become thicker and thicker as the series goes on.

Day Six: Favourite Queer Graphic Novel

Check, Please! by Ngozi Ukazu

There’s lots of fantastic queer graphic novels out there, but I have to name Check, Please! as my favourite (and not just because I’m Canadian and am legally obligated to at least show interest in a hockey story). Check, Please! is the friggin cutest story about Eric “Bitty” Bittle, former figure skater and avid baker, who joins the Samwell University hockey team. The story is told in the form of Bitty’s vlog as he recounts the bizarre quirks of the Samwell hockey team, his struggle to overcome his fear of checking, and his growing crush on the team captain, Jack. Seriously guys, this is cavity-inducing sweetness and you can read it all online for free, here on tumblr @omgcheckplease or at its own website, checkpleasecomic.

Day Seven: Queer Book You Often Reread

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan

Another book I haven’t reread in years, but this was the first queer novel I ever read (and owned!) so I read it obsessively, first the copy from the high school library and then my own copy (which is, let us say, well-thumbed by this point). It was pure fluff, in an aggressively diverse, relentlessly accepting, rainbow-coloured high school and it was exactly what I wanted in high school, and it still makes me happy whenever I remember it. It’s a straight-up high school romance, pretty traditional to the genre, but it has the most delightful supporting cast you could ever ask for. Maybe I should reread it again this summer…

Day Eight: Queer Book With A Happy Ending

Of Fire and Stars by Audrey Coulthurst

This was a bit more of a “yeah it was fine” book for me, but honestly… queer people deserve some average, run-of-the-mill YA fantasies. As far as my normal reading preferences go, run-of-the-mill YA fantasies are my bread and butter. And this one has a cute sapphic romance to go with it. It’s about Denna, a princess with a dangerous secret: she has a magical Affinity for fire, despite being betrothed to the prince of a kingdom that aggressively prosecutes and fears magic-users. So now Denna is in a strange land, trying to hide her increasingly volatile magic, solve an assassination that rocked the kingdom, and deal with the growing connection between her and the prince’s wild sister, Mare. It has court intrigue, a murder mystery, horses, and lots of confused sapphic pining so it’s totally worth picking up if you want a light summer fantasy adventure.

Day Nine: Queer Book With (Over) 100 Pages

River of Teeth by Sarah Gailey

I decided to try to get as close to 100 pages as possible! River of Teeth is a 114-page novella that I haven’t quite finished (work and covid stress happened) but which I am fucking losing my mind for. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s peak alternative history, about queer hippopotamus-riding cowboys in Louisiana during the early 20th (late 19th?) century. Like… I don’t know how to emphasize how unbelievably cool this book is. Genderqueer demolition expert with a giant crush and a penance for making things blow up and attempting to poison guests when they’re bored?? Check. Gay gunslinging hippo-riding cowboy with an angsty backstory (and also a giant crush)? Check. Sexy, fat, badass lady con artist with an albino hippo that she spoils? Check. Like damn guys. I’m not done the book and I’ve already bought the sequel because I know the second I pick it back up I’m not gonna stop until I’ve ploughed through it all. This book is the epitome of “refuge in audacity” and “rule of cool”. Is it over the fucking top? Absolutely but that’s the point.

Day Ten: Favourite Queer Genre Novel

The Red Scrolls of Magic by Cassandra Clare

I’ll be honest, I’m a little shaky on what counts as a genre novel (isn’t… everything… a genre??) so I decided to interpret it as “slightly trashy YA supernatural fantasy” because that sure is a hella specific genre I’m weak for.

I really thought I was done with the Shadowhunter novels, I thought they were a goofy series I left behind in teenagerhood that I could look back on with amused indulgence. And then I found out that there was a novel specifically about Alec and Magnus and! Oh no! Ding dong I was wrong. I fell back in hard because listen… I love them. They were one of the first canonical same-sex relationships I ever read about in an actual novel, they meant a lot to me then and still mean a lot to me now. I have nothing to say to defend myself here except that this book wrecked me and I can’t wait for the sequel.

Day Eleven: Queer Book You Love In A Genre You Don’t Read

Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me by Mariko Tamaki and Rosemary Valero-O’Connel

I am very rarely a slice-of-life / romance genre sort of person. I like my stories cut with a heavy dose of fantasy, scifi, action-adventure… something. So a graphic novel that’s not only a romance, but one about an unhealthy relationship and infidelity is like… super outside my usual range of reading material. But it was very much worth the read! The art was stunning, and the complicated emotions it tapped into really touched me. I’m very happy to have read it, and was so damn satisfied by the end.

Day Twelve: Queer Book With A Strong Sense Of Place

Belle Révolte by Linsey Miller

Linsey Miller is one author I very actively follow, I love her works and they always have very distinct, complicated worlds with unique societies and magic systems. Belle Révolte was her latest book and followed a prince-and-the-pauper type of story, in which wealthy Emilie des Marais is determined to learn noonday (magical) arts in order to become a physician, someone who can actually work to make her home a better place… but this is not something a proper lady would ever be allowed to do. So she flees her finishing school and meets poor, but magically gifted, Annette Boucher and offers her the chance to switch places. Annette goes back to school as “Emilie” and gets to hone her skills at the midnight arts while Emilie will use her name to sneak into medical school and fight her way up the ranks to physician. This is a challenging enough task, with rebellion roiling just beneath the surface and the country about to slip into a arrogant war that threatens the lives of hundreds…

Day Thirteen: Queer Book That Really Made You Think

Our Dreams At Dusk by Yuhki Kamatani

This is a four book manga series that is completely breath-taking. It’s touched by magical-realism and completely drowned in visually stunning metaphors and symbolism. Seriously, I’ve reread these books multiples times trying to digest how the wide variety of symbols overlap and contradict and compliment and challenge each other. I still haven’t really gotten a solid handle on it, it’s very fluid, so yeah… definitely makes me think.

The story starts with Tasuku Kaname who believes he may have just been outed as gay by a high school friend, and feels like he’s watching his entire world crumble around him. He is seriously considering taking his own life, when he runs into the mysterious woman “Someone-san” and winds up leading him to a drop-in center that’s run by a local non-profit, and is also a hub for a number of queer people in the community. The books follow Tasuku as he grows, learns, makes mistakes, and confronts his feelings, along with a number of other members at the drop-in center. It is completely beautiful, optimistic, but also quite stark and harsh at its look at homophobia and transphobia in modern Japanese society and how it can effect people in different ways. I just bought book four and can’t wait to read it and see how everything ends.

Day Fourteen: Queer Book That Made You Cry

The Marrow Thieves by Cherie Dimaline

Holy shit guys. Listen. Listen. If you don’t read any other book on this list, please consider reading The Marrow Thieves. It is hands down the best book I’ve read so far this year. Another book that doesn’t have a queer character as the protag, but as one of the main supporting characters and listen, his story fucking destroyed me as a person. That romance just… aaaaaaah. AAAAAAAAH.

Anyway. The Marrow Thieves is a Canadian dystopian novel. It takes place in a post-climate change world in which society has been ravaged – partially due to the wildly different and extreme weather patterns, but also through a strange disease that has spread through the population that has left people completely incapable of dreaming. Now unable to rest, process their lives, and dream of a future, people are being driven insane and only one group appears to be immune: North America’s First Nations people appear to be unaffected. And so they begin to be harvested, rounded up and collected in “school” in order for people to suck the marrow out of them to give to white people afflicted by this disease. The Marrow Thieves follows a First Nations boy named Frenchie as he flees the recruiters and tries his best to survive in this post-apocalyptic like wilderness, banding together with other First Nations people who are heading north, where they hope to find communities of their own people with whom they can shelter and start to rebuild their lives.

It’s a YA level novel, not very long, and such an insanely good read. I cannot emphasize enough PLEASE GO READ THIS BOOK.

Day Fifteen: Queer Book That Made You LOL

Mostly Void, Partially Stars by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor

Welcome to Nightvale always makes me laugh and it was a lot of fun to get to read the transcripts of the episodes. I’m a sucker for novelizations/transcripts of shows. It was a nice nostalgia trip and gave me an excuse to go back and relisten to some of my favourite episodes too! If you’ve never gotten into Nightvale… hey, it’s a classic! Podcast is fucking stunning if you’re into podcasts, and if you’re not but would enjoy a weird, queer, eldritch horror comedy then try the book! It’s the first “season” compiled in text form, exactly how it’s heard in the show.

Day Sixteen: Queer Book That Is Really Personal To You

Jughead volume 1 by Chip Zdarsky et al

Including this one because gee golly it sure did make me want to fight a lot of people for quite a while. It was one of the first stories I ever found/read that had an explicitly asexual main character… (and a character I already really loved! Which I now got to feel an even stronger connection to! It was so fun and validating!) so it was super awesome how like half of tumblr decided for a year there that this was apparently a cardinal sin. Imagine… one single version of old, long standing comic series deciding to retcon a character to represent a heavily under-represented community… imagine being so fucking angry about that that you decide to start a hate campaign on the internet. So much fun to live through that as an ace person. Anyway, these comics were nothing amazing but I sure do love them aggressively out of pure spite, even now that the aphobia on tumblr has died back down I will hold this to my chest and adore it.

Day Seventeen: Favourite Queer Book Sequel or Spin Off

The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee

Honestly do I even need to say anything here? Is there any queer person who hasn’t read Mackenzi Lee’s The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue series? If you are someone who hasn’t read it yet… go do that?? Absolutely stunning, one of my all-time favourite book series. It’s the perfect combination of hilarious and goofy, intense action, heartfelt character development, and a dash of “wait was that supernatural or??” This sequel was fantastic, this time focusing on Felicity, Monty’s sister, and her quest to become a physician despite being a woman in the 18th century. Awesome look at femininity, feminism, asexuality, and race. (Also… OT3? OT3.)

Day Eighteen: Favourite Queer Book By A Favourite Author

Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett

One of those “ehh is this technically queer? Not really but close enough, it is in my heart” books. It was one of the books I read as a teenager when I was still beginning to seek out and try to explore queer lit in so much as I could.

Terry Pratchett is, hands down, my favourite author, and though he doesn’t tend to write explicitly queer literature, his exploration of gender through allegory is top fucking tier. Everything to do with the dwarves in his series is fascinating, and a really great challenge/critique/exploration of gender, and this is the book that takes it to the next level (and brings in at least implicitly queer characters). It’s about Polly Perks, who lives in a small, war torn nation, choosing to join the army in order to find out what happened to her brother. However, as tradition dictates, she can’t join as a girl… so she disguises herself as Ozzer, a young man. There’s a lot of twists and turns, and as always Pratchett delivers fantastic humour and just absolutely delicious satire.

Day Nineteen: Queer Book That Changed Your Life

And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson

This was the book that made me realize that I, as a queer teacher, could have queer kid lit in my future classroom. Maybe a comparatively small revelation, but a really important one to me. It made me realize that this didn’t need to be something I kept a secret in my professional life and which could really positively influence children, especially queer children. It was the first queer children’s book I ever bought.

Day Twenty: Favourite Queer Book Series

Candy Color Paradox by Isaku Natsume

Alright… I’ll admit it, this isn’t actually my favourite series, but I’ve used my favourites in other spots. And this is a good one! Definitely more of an actual “yaoi” than the other manga I’ve included (here there be sex) but it has a very different vibe that what I’m used to from that type of manga. The main pair are actually both capable, mature adults, with careers they actively care about, and who get together in the first volume!

The rest of the series is less about them angst-ily toeing around their relationship, and much more about them learning to grow as a couple and balance their work and relationship and society. It’s funny and sweet, and I really enjoy these two losers. It’s a very low-stakes enemy-to-friends-to-lovers story, in which Onoe (a reporter) and Kaburagi (a photographer) are paired up on a news story they’re supposed to dig into together. What starts as a bickering rivalry gradually becomes respect, friendship, and love~ Onoe is a gremlin of a protag, so he’s a treat to follow.

Day Twenty-One: Queer Book That You Recommend A Lot

Mask of Shadows by Linsey Miller

To repeat myself: Linsey Miller is awesome! This is my favourite book of hers, the first of a duology. It’s kind of like an intense, edgy Tamora Pierce novel with murder. In this world, the Queen has a team of assassins known as the Left Hand. They’re an elite group that keeps the Queen safe and does the dirty work that needs to be done to protect the kingdom and keep the encroaching nations at bay. When the assassin Opal is killed, a contest is announced to find the new Opal. People from all over come to complete for the honour of being one of the Queen’s royal assassins, including gender-fluid thief Sallot Leon. Sal has some deep motivations to become Opal that go beyond a loyalty to their kingdom, but they’re going to have to survive their competitors if they even wants a chance at it… (Sal generally goes by either she or he in the books, but I’m using they in this instance since it’s in a more general sense.)

Day Twenty-Two: Queer Book That Made You Take Action

The Deep by Rivers Solomon

Uhh, I don’t really have any books that made me take action per se, but this one sure gave me a lot to think about. It’s about deep sea mermaids who originated from the pregnant slave women tossed into the ocean to drown during passage to North America. From those dying women, this race was born and were taken in by whales, raised and protected until they could descend into the deep ocean waters, to form their own safe society. Their collective past is so painful though that as a species they’ve developed a very short term memory. But a people can’t live without any ties to their roots and so one of them, the Historian, holds all the memories for their entire species and shares it with everyone once a year so that the community can be connected to their ancestors before once again returning the memories to the Historian for safe keeping. Yetu, the current Historian, is so overwhelmed by these memories, that she can no longer take it – she flees her people, her responsibilities, and her pain and escapes to the surface instead...

Day Twenty-Three: Queer Book By An Author Who I Killed Is Dead

Cybersix by Carlos Trillo

I cannot emphasize enough, this is not actually a queer comic, it is in fact a very homophobic, transphobic and sexist comic written by a horrible person.

That being said, he’s dead and I own it now the TV series was essentially about a genderqueer superhero and a very confused bi biology professor who has a crush on both personas. I had a passionate crush on both personas as a child, and I will cherrypick this comic until I die in order to enjoy the only kickass genderqueer/genderfluid noir antihero I’ve come across. I am valid and I am not open to debate or discussion. Do not read this comic it’s horrible (but consider watching the show).

Day Twenty-Four: Queer Book You Wish You’d Read When Younger

The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang

This is such an incredibly soft story with the nicest art. There’s so much understanding and compassion in it and its exploration of gender and self-confidence and being true to yourself would have been very reassuring to me as a child, especially by late elementary/middle school.

Day Twenty-Five: Queer Book In A Historical Setting

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

A retelling of Achilles’ and Patroclus’ relationship from childhood to the Trojan war. So yeah, you can imagine that this was also a candidate for Day 14 :’) I haven’t read this one in years but god it was lovely and emotionally destroyed me as a person.

Day Twenty-Six: Queer Superhero Book or Comic

Overwatch: Reflections by Michael Chu and Miki Montillo

I don’t really read superhero stories very often (the comics have always driven me a little bonkers, trying to find a way to enter the totally unapproachable Marvel/DC canons, and the MCU burnt me out years ago for every other sort of superhero story) so this is the closest I can get. Tracer’s a superhero yeah? Anyway, I, like every other queer person in the Overwatch fandom, lost my fucking mind when this dropped for Christmas a few years back and officially declared Lena Oxton not only the face of the entire franchise but also a lesbian. It’s an adorable little comic and Tracer’s girlfriend is a sweetheart.

Day Twenty-Seven: Favourite Queer Children’s Picture Book

Prince & Knight by Daniel Haack

There’s a number of sweet queer children’s books that are popping up these days, but this is my favourite just because it’s less about “explaining the gays to children” (though those books also have their place) and more of a cute little fantasy adventure in which the actual protagonist is gay. It’s about a prince who sets out to find himself a bride who can help rule by his side, but it quickly becomes clear that he isn’t interested in any of the girls. Instead, when a fire breathing dragon threatens his kingdom, he meets a brave knight who fights along side him. It’s very supportive and the art is lovely.

Day Twenty-Eight: Queer Book That Made You Feel Uncomfortable

Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann

This is a book with an asexual protagonist that I was originally really excited for. I know there are a lot of people out there who really enjoy this book and connected with it, but it didn’t do it for me. Maybe because my expectations were too high, but the protagonist’s experience with asexuality was vastly different than my own and the narrative voice ended up rubbing me wrong (and let’s be honest, slice-of-life romance is NOT my usual genre at all). So it’s not “made me uncomfortable because it’s Bad And Wrong” more just… totally vibed wrong with me. Maybe the perfect book for other people but definitely not for me, I had to return this one unfinished because it’s portrayal of asexuality just made me so deeply uncomfortable.

Day Twenty-Nine: Queer Book That Made You Want To Fall In Love

The Gentleman’s Guide To Vice And Virtue by Mackenzi Lee

This book had to make it on here somewhere, and honestly it could have gone in a lot of different spots, but I chose to put it here because the relationship between Monty and Percy is so incredibly sweet and authentic it really does make you want something like that. TGGTVAV (for anyone who has somehow not heard of it) takes place in the 18th century, and is about Monty, his best friend (and crush) Percy, and his sister Felicity going on a final “hurrah” tour of Europe before Monty's father finally tries to pin him down in England and force every part of Monty that’s deemed “unacceptable” out of him. So Monty intends to live this summer up… until everything goes off the rail and the three of them are suddenly fleeing across the continent with assassins at their heels and a strange, stolen artifact in their possession.

Monty has a lot of growing to do in this novel, and that’s one of my favourite things about it. For his and Percy’s relationship to ever have a chance, Monty needs to learn and change and actually communicate with other people, and it makes the relationship feel strong. Not a fluffy, surface level romance that often happens in YA but something built from the ground up by two friends who really want to make it work. Ahh, it’s lovely. One of my favourite novels.

Day Thirty: Queer Book With Your Favourite Ending

My Brother’s Husband by Gengoroh Tagame

A two-book manga series that was completely stunning. It deals with queer relationships and homophobia in a very stark, real-world manner that you don’t often get in manga, while still being incredibly loving and sympathetic. The book is about Yaichi, a single father whose estranged brother (Ryoji) recently died. One day, a Canadian named Mike arrives, introducing himself as Ryoji’s widower. Mike had come hoping to visit his late husband’s homeland to try to get some closure, and Yaichi ends up inviting Mike to stay. The whole story looks Japan’s societal biases, through Mike’s experiences, Yaichi’s thoughts, feelings and prejudices, and those of his daughter who adores Mike.

Seriously, this is one of the kindest, most earnest looks I’ve ever seen to internal prejudices that critiques them without demonizing the person who feels them. Instead it lovingly embraces grief, growth, and love. This series made me cry multiple times, was good enough that even my straight brother practically ordered me to go out and buy the second book when he finished the first, and the ending was just *chef’s kiss*

Honourable Mentions

A few books I really wanted to fit on my list somehow but couldn’t quite manage it, so here: All Out an anthology of historical fiction short stories about queer teens. The Tea Dragon Society series and Princess Princess Ever After, graphic novels by the amazingly talented Katie O’Neill. Heartstopper a webcomic turn graphic novel by Alice Oseman about a pair of rugby players. The Different Dragon a cute picture book in which the boy has two moms and which is about accepting different ways of being. And Lady Knight a part of Tamora Pierce’s Protector of the Small series because because Kel is word-of-god aro(and/or ace) and I’ve adored that series and Kel since I was about thirteen so by god I’ll take it.

Now for those that wanted to do their own challenge, I found it on @gailcarriger’s blog.

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spnreactions · 4 years

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15x15: Gimme Shelter

Alright guys! It’s time!

Just a heads up, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, these posts usually come out later in the day, because even if I watch it live, I tend to do my reactions live, but then write up the full review later. In case you were wondering why the posts don’t usually come right away.

Anyways! Let’s get down to it!

Oof. Yep. We’re definitely on the serious track now, with a then like this.

Also, I didn’t say this before, but I really love the “then” and “now” openings for this season. It’s beautiful with the Impala like that. <3

Oof. Interesting flashback to Jack breaking out of the Ma’lak Box.

...ew. Maybe it doesn’t taste as gross as it looks, but it looks gross.

Jesus girls, chill.

Okay, I already like the pastor.

I’m watching live this week, and I’m in a FB group that’s commenting as we watch, and someone just pointed out that the pastor is Dr. Sexy MD!! Man I love when actors return like that.

Ope. Connor’s gonna die. Poor kid. He seemed nice.

...that teddy bear definitely wasn’t there when he was walking over before, but okay.

UMMMMM...TALKING TEDDY!

NO THANK YOU!!!

I HAVE A DOLL THING!!! NOT COOL!!!

Hmmm...gotta be honest, I’m not sure how I’m feeling about Cohen’s directing on this one. :/

It had a talking teddy bear. I bet it is.

Darkness. Nice pun.

“He’s not that funny.” XD XD

Dean you just want to go to Atlantic City whether Amara’s there or not don’t even deny it. XD

Cas’s confused face will always be one of the cutest things ever. <3

I love the way they’re all walking down the hallway together. It’s such a simple thing, but I like the way they’re positioned and everything. Point: Matt Cohen.

SCENE FROM THE PROMO!

Sure they can.

“She and I used to have a thing” DEAN!! XD XD

HIIIII JACK!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Dude, let me tell you, I am so ready for some quality Cas and Jack content.

I love all the different reactions here. Dean is trying to get Cas and Jack out of the house, which Jack is super excited about, and Cas is very not into. XD

...wait, did they not tell him about Mrs. Butters? Or did they just not mention her name?

Cas looking at Sam like “help me out here” and Sam being like “sorry but no”. XD

Oh come on Cas. Look how excited Jack is! I love how enthusiastic he gets over every hunt. It’s adorable and I love him. (Yeah you’re gonna be hearing that a lot. XD)

Cas is like “you’re kidding me right?”

“Highway to Heaven” XD XD

THE SCENE!!

MY BABY IS SO EXCITED I LOVE HIS LITTLE SMILE AHHHH!!!!

No matter how Cas is against going to deal with something so small fry when they’re in the middle of something so huge, he will still smile affectionately at his son, because he loves him. <3 <3 <3

“Blue’s a good color on you.” XD XD <3 <3

“Agent Swift.” XD XD XD XD

“Agent Lovato.” I’M DEAD THESE TWO ARE THE BEST!!! XD XD XD XD

HE’S HOLDING HIS BADGE UPSIDE DOWN JUST LIKE CAS DID ON HIS FIRST HUNT I’M DEAD!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

A BABY YODA REFERENCE?! This show oh my god. XD XD XD

“I just graduated from CSI.” JACK OH MY GOD YOU ADORABLE LITTLE BEAN!!! XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Okay, I love watching Cas and Jack together, and I love watching them go on a hunt, but guys, could you at least TRY to be subtle? “Did you find tiny bags with chicken bones? Smell any sulfur? Feel cold?” Like, NO you two. XD XD

The cop lady is just like “what the heck is wrong with these two?”

Oh. “Liar” isn’t a seven deadly sin thing. Maybe I was wrong about that.

“For my stepson, Ronald.” JACK!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 I love him so much oh my god.

For someone who’s new to hunting, that was actually an awesome cover. <3 <3

Wait...speakers? Maybe it isn’t something supernatural after all?

“Almost demonic.” Okay so that was a little more subtle.

Okay Cohen, I take back what I said about your directing. That was a good shot of the stop sign.

I love the way Jack’s sitting in the back of the truck. <3 <3

Learning from Sam. <3 <3 <3

Cas, there is no such thing as too many cats. His face when he says that though. XD

THAT ENTIRE SEQUENCE ABOUT PARENT/GUARDIAN PERMISSION I’M DYING HOLY FRICK!!! XD XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

That was both the cutest and funniest thing ever and I just...I LOVE THEM AHHHH!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

I feel like Cas is upset though. Like, he’s extra frustrated with the whole Amara and God thing. Not that I blame him of course. He’s just got a certain...coldness to him in this episode. But I like how it disappears whenever he’s talking to Jack. <3 <3 Good acting on Misha’s part.

For example, that little soft smile when he looks over at Jack logging in to the social media account is so sweet and so cute and so undeniably fatherly. <3 <3

Okay, gotta be honest: British demon? Totally hot.

"Why is he talking like that?” he whispers, very loudly in a way that the party he is speaking of can definitely hear him. XD XD <3 <3

“Because Zack has style.”

WAIT!!!

He’s not ACTUALLY British??!!

Oh my god that shouldn’t have made me laugh, but it TOTALLY did.

AND he made the “Highway to Heaven” reference just like Dean did!

I love this demon holy frick. XD XD

Cas’s and Jack’s confused expressions at his sudden change. XD

“I would watch that show.” XD XD

How this show manages to introduce a new character, however brief, and give him so much personality when we’re six episodes from the end is beyond my understanding, but man, it is one of the many reasons I love this show. <3

Ha! “Demons are get, humans are just crazy” ring a bell?

Ha! Of course Rowena has that philosophy. God I miss her.

“You’re a deviant soul corrupted by Hell.” Ah, Cas, ever quick with the logical wit. XD

Cas’s “and we’re done”. XD

Zack is so desperate.

And now, Zack is all of us during COVID. XD

I love Zack. Take him with you. XD <3

Oof. Too true, Cas. Too true.

Awww...Jack.

AWWW! Cas!!! Knowing his son wanted to be busy and help people. I LOVE THEM!!!

THOSE SMILES AT EACH OTHER OH MY GOD SO CUTE!!! <3 <3 <3

She’s gonna steal the money.

Yep. Classy lady. *eye roll*

Ope. And now she’s gonna die.

AHHHH!!

OKAY I TAKE THAT BACK!! BRING THE TEDDY BEAR BACK!! SCARY MASK IS WORSE!!!

My mom and I both screamed jesus christ.

“Focused.” Interesting phrasing, but okay.

I like the way this phone call is happening. The back and forth is cool, and I like their easy talk with each other.

Dean can’t just give straight advice. Ever. “Drink the Kool-Aid and sign up.” XD

Oof. Jesus.

Clearly Dean wasn’t talk about the Amara thing.

Wait, this was over a two-day timeline? Huh. Okay then.

Dean that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect you stop.

“Messengers of God’s Destruction”.

No, but did any of us?

“Least this time it’s not you or me.” Yeah, yet.

That look Sam gives him means he had the same thought I did.

Okay sorry, I am super not religious, and the God speak makes me want to barf.

HA! JACK! XD

See, this is why you have to give straight advice, Dean. I know that’s hard for you, being your chaotic bi self and all, but angels tend to take things literally, bud. XD

Jack you dork. XD <3

Geez girl. Be nice.

Jack whispering again to try to be sneaky I love him. <3

So that’s a yes then.

Jesus. She’s a b***h. I don’t like her.

That little head nod OMG!! <3 <3

I LOVE THE CAS AND JACK TEAM UP THEY’RE SO CUTE!! <3 <3

Oh. That was a sweet hug.

My Mom: It’s him. It’s the pastor. He’s the bad guy.

Oh! Greed! So this is a seven deadly sins thing!

Ummm....that’s a little weird. Maybe this is as monster after all, with the tech working like that?

But if it was a monster, why is she set up like that?

Okay no, I take that back. I watch Criminal Minds, and this totally looks like something a serial killer would do. Especially the timer thing.

“The new guy’s hot.” MEEEEE. That girl is me. XD <3 <3 <3

EVERY. SINGLE. THING. JACK. DOES. IS. SO. STINKING. ADORABLE. <3 <3 <3 <3

Boyfriend and girlfriend, I’m guessing?

Awww...baby. :(

Awww...Jack. :( :(

Okay but, like, we’ve learned now, right? Don’t give her your whole story please and thank you.

Oh okay. That’s okay.

This girl is...off. Is it the acting, or is the character actually weird? I honestly can’t tell.

Oof. Daddy issues alert.

“I have more dads than most.” AWWW!!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Wait baby no, you’re not letting them down stop that. :( :( :(

Ew. “Put your trust in God, not people.” Now I hate her. Trust me honey, the last person Jack--or anybody, for that matter--should be putting his faith in is God.

Oh okay then.

Ha! I love Cas’s subtle little sass with the “faith-based community”.

Oh. A.V. and tech. TV screen. Bingo.

Yeah I don’t think it’s the pastor. He seems too innocent.

...except he’s definitely not getting any father-of-the-year awards. But what else is new with this show.

“It’s complicated.” What are you talking about?? Just say yes, Cas.

Awww...soft side of Cas. <3

Yeah no. It’s not the pastor. There’s no way. It must be that Brother Rudy dude.

Ha! Awkward. XD

That’s actually really nice. I like that idea, having a church community (sorry--faith-based community) helping other people like that. It’s sweet.

Oh. Connor was gay. That honestly totally makes sense. Poor guy. :(

I’m glad the pastor was accepting of him though! <3 <3

Awww...that’s a good line. “A saint is a sinner who keeps trying.”

I really hope it’s not the pastor. I like him.

My Mom: Wait, have we just never seen them put gas in the car before? I had no idea it was behind the license plate!

I’m thinking back and I didn’t know that either, so this must be the first time we’ve actually seen them, like, open it, and that’s HILARIOUS to me. XD

OOOOH WAIT!! This is where they see Amara, according to the promo photos!!

Oh heeeey girl.

Wow she looks really pretty with that snow in her hair.

She...she...smelled them?

“You have a very distinctive musk.” “Thank you.” ARE THESE TWO STILL PINING FOR EACH OTHER? XD XD XD

I like this Amara. She’s fun.

My family and I always make kielbasa with our pierogis (I had no idea that that was how that was spelled, btw), so pierogis without the kielbasa feels wrong. XD

Jensen’s facial expressions say so much all the time and I love it. XD

Oh boy.

NOOOOOO!

WHAT IS IT WITH SUPERNATURAL AND FINGERS ON THIS SHOW JESUS!!

Okay, WHO is the timer for?? Like, is it just some form of slow torture?? Because it’s not like it’s being shown to anyone other than her.

Ooh. I like that he’s listing off all of the different names for God. Good pastor. Please don’t be a bad guy.

HIS FAMOUS “hello” OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUUUUUUUUCH!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

...oof. Ummm....

Awww.... Poor baby. :( :( :(

AWWW!! Dad Cas to the rescue!! <3 <3 <3

Jack looking at his dad omg. <3 <3

I already like this speech from Cas. I can tell it’s gonna be good.

“I guess I found a family.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

JACK’S LITTLE SMILE!!!

“And I became a father.” THERE IT IS!!! THERE. IT. IS!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

THE WAY JACK LOOKS AT HIM AFTER HE SAYS THAT AHHHH!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

AWWWW!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

GOOD SPEECH CAS!!! GOOD SPEECH!!! WAY TO MAKE YOUR SON FEEL BETTER!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

Awww...I really like this pastor. <3

FRIIIICK.

Oh sh**. There’s the time for everyone else.

JESUS!!!

Yeah okay. This is 100% a human being’s doing. A monster wouldn’t bother.

Jack running over to turn it off right away. Ever the hero. <3 <3

The pastor seemed too surprised to have done it, which, for me, puts pastor in the clear. Thank goodness.

True, but also he sucks, so help us out Amara.

Okay, I’m sorry, but quick side note. Everyone keeps saying he’s “very nearly done”, but when Dean looked in the telescope, he didn’t see anything. I thought that meant he was done. Unless it only reaches so far? I guess it probably only reaches so far in terms of other dimensions.

Sure there is.

“Our pal Jack.” That’s such a weird thing to hear him say, but okay. XD

Also I’m not sure how I feel about them telling Amara about Jack. Like, I like her, and I feel like she’s gonna help, but what if she doesn’t? She could, whether intentionally or unintentionally, wind up seeing Chuck and mentioning Jack to him, and if she does, that ruins the whole plan. But, on the other hand, I guess they have to earn her trust, and keeping details from her would definitely make that harder. But I still don’t like it. It puts my baby in danger. Again. But anyways.

Oh. Just like that?

“I get he’s your brother” Dean says oh so casually, as if he hasn’t literally moved heaven and hell to protect and save his own brother.

“Squirrely weirdo” XD XD

Oh. The Big Bang. New theory. I like it. XD

Sure he can.

Ummm...yeah, Amara. You’re a fool. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Maybe he cares about you a little, but definitely not as much as you’re giving him credit for. Not right now anyways.

Wait...she actually said no? No way. I thought they were gonna be able to convince her. Guess my initial theory was wrong... What does that mean though? Like...what now?

Jack’s gonna come slamming through that door, according to the promo.

Called it!

Wait...why did Jack slam through it while Cas is just...casually standing there? You’re an angel, Castiel. XD

“Lust” It is based on “Seven”! I love it!

Welp...guess it’s not him.

Wait, so we are walking away with a no? That never happens to us!

THERE we go. Go get her Dean.

Is it just me, or has Sam been, like, really not involved this episode?? Jared’s had, like, six lines. XD

OH! Okay, the “then” makes sense now.

Oof. You tell her, Dean.

That she sucks. That’s what she wanted. Because she does.

Wait NO WAY! That’s what I said! Kind of, anyways.

Woooow. That’s actually pretty messed up, Amara. But it makes sense for why Mary was such a terrible character and why I hated her so much. She is only human. A sucky human, too.

Is it, though?

“That you could finally start to accept your life.” Okay, that’s actually kind of cool, and that’s awesome on the writers’ part for adding in that explanation of why everything went the way it did. Nice.

But also, that’s pretty messed up Amara.

Oooh. We’re about to get some awesome Jensen acting, aren’t we?

Jensen’s trying not to cry face is so incredible wow.

Awww....poor Dean.

Jesus Amara. A little sympathy?

OOF. I love that quiet fury that Dean has.

OOH! He got her!

YES DEAN!!! TELL HER!

“Well now who’s living in a dreamworld?” ...ouch. But true.

...oh boy. That was a bold-faced lie. But so brilliantly told, Dean.

After ALL THAT, you’re going to THINK ABOUT IT? Really??!!

But hey! I KNEW IT!! BEAUTIIFUL acting moment on Jensen’s part!! AWESOME scene. <3 <3 <3 <3

Oh! It’s the girl. I’m calling it.

Yep. Daughter.

I KNEW SHE WAS BEING WEIRD!

See?! Super religious people are crazy!!

Go Cas and Jack go!

Ope. Cas is gonna heal, and Jack is gonna attack. Go boys go!

Cas is gonna heal in front of all those people oof.

Girl has ISSUES.

Wow, this girl is WAAAAY too religious. Chill.

Yeah, cause you need help.

HEY!!! NOT COOL SYLVIA!!!

Oof. Yeah nice try, but that’s not gonna work.

I love how Jack just takes it and then heals all bada** like “yeah sorry but no”, but then he still looks up with the kindest and most innocent expression and I love it. <3

Meanwhile Cas is like “yeah I’m not having any of this.” XD XD

Does...does he always have to say sleep when he does it? Cause he didn’t used to, and for some reason, that was hilarious. XD

Jack’s little nod. So cute. <3 <3

Fixed her fingers, but couldn’t wash the blood off. XD

Yeah ummm...how you gonna explain that one, Cas?

At least pastor dude seems nice. And, like, being the good kind of religious, he’ll probably be totally cool with the angel thing.

Wait, pastor dude is still processing this when morning hits? Okay then.

“Not a very good one.” WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! You are literally the BEST angel, thank you very much.

Man that girl is MESSED UP.

And Jack still feels sorry for her, my baby. :( <3 <3

Ah. Nothing like your daughter becoming a murderer for you to finally step into a proper role of fatherhood.

WAIT A SECOND! IT’S ZACK!!

Dude waaait. What does that mean?? That’s, like, a really random thing. Does that mean she’s gonna come back? Or that Zack is gonna come back? I’m not sure what that means. That seems so random! I DEMAND ANSWERS SUPERNATURAL!

The way Cas looks at Jack after the pastor says that about looking after her better. Cas I don’t know what you’re thinking, but you’re the best father Jack could’ve asked for, okay?

Awww! Cas and Jack talk time!! <3 <3

Cas is trying so hard to help him I love him. <3

NO YOU DON’T STOP!! THIS IS WHAT FAMILY IS FOR!! WHHHHYYY are all you Winchesters like this.

Wait. WAIT! He was hiding something?! I hate it when Sam’s right.

Wait WHAT?!

HOLD ON!!!

NOOOOO NO NO NO NO NO!!! NO! JACK NO!!! That is NOT ALLOWED!!!

HOLD ON A SECOND!!! NO!!! THAT IS NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING WTF??!!!

Wait wait wait. A bomb?? Like, just like S11?? Because no. No no no. We’re not doing this again. JACK YOU ARE NOT GONNA DIE WTF??!!

THIS THROWS ALL OF MY THEORIES OUT THE WINDOW NOOOO!!! IT CAN’T BE JACK!!! I REFUSE!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

WE JUST GOT YOU BACK!!! WE CAN’T LOSE YOU AGAIN!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

Cas’s face is all of my emotional screeching right now.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN “Don’t tell Sam and Dean.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME JACK??!! THESE ARE YOUR DADS!! THEY NEED TO KNOW!!! YOU CAN’T DO THIS!!! CAS WON’T LET YOU!!!

JACK NOOOO!!! STOP IT WITH ALL OF YOUR GUILT! GOD you’re such a Winchester!! NO!! DEAN BAKED YOU A DANG BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! YOU DON’T NEED TO DIE FOR HIM TO FORGIVE YOU!!!

I’M HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME TYPING RIGHT NOW WTF IS THIS SCENE??!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

Me too, Cas!!!

SEE JACK??!! YOU CAN’T!!

NO! WHAT IS THAT?!

NO!! STOP IT!!! STOP IT YOU STUPID IDIOT NO!!! YOU CANNOT SACRIFICE YOURSELF LIKE THIS!!! THEY WON’T LET YOU!!!

Cas tell Sam and Dean. Please.

Oh WAIT! We have, like, two minutes left craaap. This is the scene from the promo. Cas is gonna say Sam and Dean need to know something and then it’s gonna end. I’m calling it right now.

YES CAS!! GO CAS GO!! SAVE YOUR SON!!!

Yep. Here it is. It’s gonna cut off.

GODDA**IT!! I HATE IT WHEN I’M RIGHT!!!

WHY YOU GOTTA DO ME LIKE THAT SUPERNATURAL??!! You can’t just...DROP A BOMB like that and then NOT RESOLVE IT GOD DA**IT!! SCREW YOU WRITERS!!!

AHHHHH!!! I NEED NEXT WEEK RIGHT NOW!!! AHHHHH!!! THIS IS SO NOT OKAY!!!!

If I deny it ever happened, then it didn’t happen, right? Jack and Cas solved the case, Sam and Dean got Amara’s help, and they all went home and had family dinner, okay? New ending. There we go. Problem solved. Because NO!

Well...f**k. I guess it’s review time?? But JESUS CHRIST!!! Okay, okay, I need a minute. Please hold.

(Several Hours Later)

Okay. I’m back. Let me start with something kind of amusing. Several minutes after the episode ended, while I was still trying to process everything, this interaction happened:

Me, breathing heavily and dying inside: Mom, you do not seem as distressed about this as I am.

My Mom: I am never as distressed as you are about anything in this show. It’s impossible for me to reach that level of distress. I don’t know how you do it.

So...if you didn’t already realize how emotionally connected to this show I am, now you do. XD

That said, let’s get down to it.

God, there is soooo much to unpack with that episode, and even crazier, it honestly all comes from that last five minutes. Let me start with this:

I really enjoyed this episode! It can’t quite beat last week’s episode--but, honestly, I don’t know if any of the other episodes will be able to, except for maybe the finale--but it was good! I had a few qualms about Matt Cohen’s directing, but he definitely had some strong moments, so it wasn’t bad. And, admittedly, at first, I felt like the pacing of the episode was kind of slow, and switching back and forth between the Winchesters and Cas and Jack felt kind of choppy for a bit, but as the episode played out, I realized why. This was a full-on set-up episode. While last week gave us a chance to be silly with the boys and see some beautiful family bonding, this was the one that set us up for what’s sure to be heavy and plot-filled coming up. (And yes, I know next week’s episode is much more of a monster-of-the-week, but 15x17 is when things will likely really get down to it, so I’m sure there’ll still be some important plot stuff next week--especially since we need a resolution to the Cas and Dean talk). Between the boys having to find and trick Amara, and Cas and Jack bonding and working with each other again, plus that big reveal at the end, it’s setting up the next string of episodes to be fast-paced and intense as they finally start to take on God.

With that said, I really loved being able to see Jack and Cas together again. It’s been so long since we’ve seen them really spend time together and bond, and watching them play off each other and be father and son was adorable and hilarious. Plus, I just love Jack with every fiber of my being, so that makes everything better. XD <3

I also really loved Dean’s interactions with Amara. I mentioned this already, but that scene, where he’s talking about Mary...that was some INCREDIBLE acting on Jensen’s part. He’s always been really good at that subtle rage, especially when it’s also filled with sadness, and this scene was no different. And I’m glad that they did finally get Amara on board; however, I’m a little concerned with what she’s going to do when she finds out he lied. Especially after how worried she seemed to be. AND SPEAKING OF LYING!!

THOSE LAST FIVE MINUTES! HOLY SHIT!!

Okay, so I’ve had some time to think about this and talk it out with some people, so I’m just gonna roll with the thoughts as they go through my brain. First of all, that is a big no a thousand times over. Jack, you cannot die. Second of all, that reveal was very well done on the writer’s part. After such a nonchalant episode--in terms of pace, that is--to have that in the last five minutes, AND to end with that cliffhanger, was a beautiful way to keep us fans guessing, invested, and wanting more. But also, SCREW YOU!

That said, as freaked out as I was--and honestly, I’m still pretty worried--I really don’t think Jack’s going to die. There’s no way. Initially, my theory left Cas and Jack standing at the end of all of this. After CW said that thing about one of the main characters not surviving to the end, I thought it was gonna be Dean, but I can also see how it could be both Sam and Dean. However, in any case, Cas and Jack, in my various theories, always end up on top. So Jack saying he’s going to die in order to kill Chuck and Amara TOTALLY threw me. BUT! After talking it through with someone else, I seriously doubt it’s going to happen.

First of all, Cas is about to go look for another way, and, as we’ve seen in the past, they always find another way. After all, this is the Winchesters (and yes, Cas counts, obviously).

Second of all, they’re telling us this five episodes before the end, but Jack is, supposedly, completing his final ritual in 15x17. That leaves three episodes of unaccounted time, and if Jack is really going to die to kill Chuck and Amara, there’s no way they can stretch that over three episodes. Therefore, his dads are bound to stop it. To FURTHER that, 15x17 has Jack and Dean heading out together to complete Jack’s final ritual while Sam and Cas stay behind, which means that, once Jack does whatever he’s supposed to do, Dean is bound to find out what Billie’s true intentions are, and I’m convinced that he’s not going to be okay with it. Because here’s the thing. Between Sam and Dean, Jack is the one that Dean still needs the most forgiveness from. And, kind of like what happened in Last Holiday, the second Dean realizes Jack is in actual danger, he’s not going to let anything happen to him. And I’m hoping that the resulting protectiveness will give Dean the chance to tell Jack that he does forgive him, which will hopefully release some of Jack’s guilt complex and give them the ability to find another way.

THIRD of all, (and I mentioned this in my reactions), this whole “becoming the bomb to kill the cosmic entities” is an exact mirror of what Dean tried to do in S11, and we saw how that went. But the thing is, why would the writers play the exact same storyline again unless they were intending to parallel it and connect it to Jack and Dean’s relationship now? When Dean didn’t detonate in S11, he got his mom back, but then Jack killed her. Now, Jack is ready to detonate himself as a bomb because of having killed Mary, and Dean’s bound to stop him, especially after that conversation with Amara. Maybe this is all wishful thinking, but I really, sincerely feel like (and hope) that Jack isn’t going to make that sacrifice. Because, on top of all of that, while I love the family that is Team Free Will 2.0, this show still is, as it always has been, about Sam and Dean, and, as such, it should end with them too. So the odds of Jack being the “be all end all” without Sam and Dean’s help? Super slim.

So, to sum that up, as worried as I am about my baby, I really really really think (and god I hope I’m right) that that’s not the way this story will end. There has to be more to it.

With all of that addressed, let’s talk about WHATEVER it is that Cas is about to tell Dean. For me, there are two things it could be:

First, there’s the obvious answer based on the episode itself. Cas is about to tell Dean that Jack has to die in order to kill Chuck and Amara. However, I don’t think that’s it, because that seems too easy and unrealistic. If Cas tells Dean that now, then why would Dean take him to do his final ritual in 15x17 (I guess this is what happens when you read too much promotional material lol)? And even if he does, the next episode seems to be very Sam and Dean centric, and Cas dropping a bomb like that would not allow for a Sam and Dean centric episode, at least not when it’s putting their whole big mission in a different light. Plus, on top of all of that, that Cas and Jack conversation is an exact parallel of the conversation the two of them had about Cas making his deal with the Empty back in Season 14. Cas told Jack not to tell Sam and Dean, and Jack never did, even though his life is at risk. So Cas telling Sam and Dean about Jack now, knowing that Jack kept that secret for him, might break a certain level of trust between the two of them, and I don’t think Cas would do that. Which brings me to my second and, in my opinion, more likely theory.

Cas is about to tell Dean about his deal with the Empty. While this would also be a huge bomb to drop in the middle of this big fight, and in the middle of all this chaos, it technically doesn’t directly correlate with their fight with Chuck. However, if something does happen to Cas, that’s something that Sam and Dean do need to know, because it’ll affect how they handle things and what they do, in a lot of ways. At the same time, I feel like, if Cas is gonna do a whole “go it alone” thing, it’s important that he tells them before he leaves, because there’s no telling what could happen, to any of them, when they’re not all together, and being as open as possible before separating like that tends to be a good idea. It seems like Cas might finally be learning.

That said, I could be wrong all around. It could be neither of those things. It could be both of those things. Honestly, there’s no way to know for sure until we get to next week. However, after a crazy ending like that, I am definitely looking forward to seeing what Supernatural has in store for us next.

My Rating: 8/10

#my review #my reactions #spn #season 15 #spn season 15 #spn spoilers #15x15 #gimme shelter #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #jack kline #cas and jack #sam and dean #spn 15x15 #spn reactions #ratings #personal

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artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

Ms. California, Chapter Six (Crygi) - Mik

A/N: I am SO sorry for taking so long to update! I had the worst case of writer’s block ever, and I had midterms this week. Thanks for being patient. I hope this makes up for my lack of posting!

Summary: Crystal moves to Los Angeles from Missouri and meets Gigi Goode, captain of the varsity cheer squad. Queue the 1990s lesbian high school AU that absolutely nobody asked for.

It’s been two weeks since Gigi announced to the cheer squad that Crystal was, in fact, her friend. And those two weeks had been delightful.

Every day, Gigi made a point to either sit with Jackie, Crystal, and Jan at lunch, or pull Crystal over to the squad’s lunch table. Crystal found herself beginning to enjoy getting to know the group: most of them were, to her surprise, funny, genuine, and generally good-natured. She especially found herself clicking with Nicky and Jaida. Although they were standoffish at first, Crystal quickly bonded with Nicky over her interest in fashion (although many would consider Crystal’s taste questionable at the very best, Nicky seemed to think it was “perfectly unique and lovely”) and Jaida over being the “new kid”, as she had moved from Wisconsin just a few years prior.

When Gigi first began sitting with Crystal, Jackie, and Jan, Jackie seemed to be pensive. She kept quiet and let the other three girls do all of the talking. However, this changed as soon as Gigi talked about what it was like sneaking into gay clubs in West Hollywood. Jackie lit up, asking questions about it for almost the entire lunch period. Crystal knew Jackie wanted nothing more than to have an out-and-proud gay community surrounding her - she was the only one of the four who everyone knew was gay. Gigi promised that she would accompany Jackie, and the other two girls, on one of the “18+” nights that the clubs held. From then on, Jackie seemed to gradually warm towards the blue-eyed cheerleader.

Gigi would drive Crystal home most days, often electing to come inside to do homework and cook dinner. The two would spend the first hour unable to focus, finding themselves tangled up in Crystal’s bed, lips attached and make-up smudged. Eventually, they’d compose themselves and start homework until Crystal’s mom arrived home. She’d hug both girls, and the three would automatically make their way into the kitchen. Gigi had made the comment that she felt, in many ways, that she was already closer to Crystal’s mom than her own. Crystal felt sad for her - Gigi never talked about her family and assumed that the situation was less-than-ideal - but her heart soared when she saw the blonde and her mom in fits of laughter together. Gigi would eat dinner with her family most nights, and Crystal would kiss her goodbye through the window of her magenta convertible before she drove home. They had fallen into a comfortable routine and Crystal could not have been happier.

Crystal is sitting with Jackie at their secluded lunch table, sketching the outline of a bird for an art project while Jackie flips through her government textbook. It’s a strangely gray day in Los Angeles and Crystal almost wonders if it will rain: the sun is completely hidden behind fog and dark clouds and it’s chilly enough that Crystal wishes she’d brought a hoodie with her to school.

She’s pulled out of her thoughts when she hears Gigi’s familiar laugh from a distance. It’s light and high-pitched and it makes Crystal light up. She turns around to see Gigi making her way over with Jan; they’re both wearing their cheer uniforms and Crystal doesn’t think she’s ever seen anyone look as stunning as Gigi does.

“Hey girls!” Gigi says as she sits down next to Crystal.

“Hey!” Crystal grins. “You look uh, really pretty in your uniform,” she says in a hushed tone. It’s the first time she’s seen Gigi in it.

Gigi blushes. “Thank you.”

“So, we were talking about what we could do tonight after the game!” Jan interrupts, nudging Jackie softly to get the girl to look up from her textbook.

“What’s that?” Jackie asks, shutting the book.

“What if we all had a big sleepover?!” Jan suggests excitedly.

“Where?” Crystal asks.

“Jan’s house, her mom is really cool,” Gigi explains.

“Yeah, she knows about Jackie and I and is like, super happy for us,” elaborates the other blonde.

“She’s just happy that you’re finally dating someone who hasn’t had all of their braincells tackled out of them,” Jackie quips with a smirk.

“Ouch. But you’re not wrong,” Jan laughs, “I guess football guys aren’t always the brightest tools in the shed.”

“So, what do you think?!” Gigi interjects.

“I’m up for it!” Crystal agrees quickly, excited to spend more time with both of her new friends and her… whatever Gigi is to her.

“Jackie?”

“Obviously!” Jackie smiles.

“Yay!” Jan and Gigi simultaneously exclaim.

“Will you gals come to the football game, then?” Jan asks.

“I guess,” Jackie decides hesitantly.

“I’ve never been to a football game,” Crystal says. “I’ll give it a try, though. Why not?”

“You and I can just hang out at the top of the bleachers and read, Crystal,” Jackie tells the curly-haired girl.

“For sure.“

“Oh, come on, where’s your school spirit?! You gotta cheer the team on!” Jan jokes with her girlfriend and Jackie rolls her eyes playfully.

The wind begins softly blowing, making Crystal shiver again. She doesn’t understand California weather - it’s usually hot enough that she feels like she needs an ice bath, but right now, a warm sweater and some hot chocolate sounds delightful.

“Crys, are you cold?” Gigi asks.

“Oh no, I’m fine,” Crystal assures the blonde, trying not to shiver as another gust of wind blows through.

“You look like you’re cold, I’m giving you my jacket,” Gigi tells her decidedly.

“Gi, no, you totally don’t have to -”

“Here,” Gigi says, pulling off the purple letterman’s jacket.

Gigi drapes the heavy jacket around Crystal’s shoulders. The jacket is huge on her, probably because Gigi is so much taller than she is, and it envelopes her in warmth. Crystal can’t help but notice that it smells like vanilla - exactly like Gigi.

“Thanks,” Crystal blushes as Gigi leans in closer to her.

“You look really good in my jacket and I really want to kiss you right now,” the blue-eyed girl murmurs matter-of-factly.

Crystal’s face heats up more, and although she’s (kind of) gotten used to hearing compliments from Gigi, her brain still seems to short-circuit whenever Gigi says something sweet.

“Get a room!” Jackie laughs, noticing the romantic tension between the two.

“Maybe we will,” Gigi responds, raising an eyebrow. “Crystal, I think I left something in my car that I need some help with.”

“Oh, yeah, the um… the thing!” Crystal stutters out.

Gigi stands, motioning for Crystal to follow her.

“I’ll see you girls later tonight! And Jan, make sure to be on time for warm-ups today!” Gigi calls out, waving back at Jackie and Jan.

“How much longer do we even have at lunch?” Crystal asks once they’re in the parking lot.

“I don’t know, probably fifteen minutes,” Gigi guesses.

They walk briskly to Gigi’s car, and the second the doors shut behind them, Gigi captures Crystal’s lips in a heated kiss.

Crystal is sure that she’ll never get tired of the way that Gigi’s plump lips move softly against her own or the way that Gigi’s hands feel gripping her hips or the way that Gigi always bites down softly on Crystal’s bottom lip after she lightly drags her tongue across it. It’s all nothing short of magic.

Their kissing becomes increasingly passionate, and before Crystal knows it, Gigi tentatively moves her hands below the older girl’s shirt. Crystal lets out a quiet moan as Gigi’s hands make their way up her hips, her fingertips ghosting over Crystal’s ribcage.

Crystal knows this is all very “high school”; her best friends at home had countless stories about making out - or more - with boys in their cars. Crystal never thought she’d be one of them, but here she was, teenage hormones raging.

Crystal’s breath hitches when Gigi’s fingers brush over the side of her chest. Gigi breaks the kiss, still not moving more than a few centimeters away from Crystal.

“Is… that okay?” she whispers.

Crystal nods, reconnecting their lips.

Gigi hesitantly places one of her hands over Crystal’s breast and gently presses her hand against it, eliciting a slight gasp from the shorter girl. The blonde caresses her chest, and Crystal can feel her heart racing. She can’t think about anything but Gigi: Gigi’s hand moving languidly against the fabric of her bra, the feeling of Gigi’s heartbeat, the taste of Gigi’s breath in her mouth…

They’re interrupted when the lunch bell rings out, loudly enough that the two can hear it even from the confines of Gigi’s car.

“Fuck,” Gigi stammers.

“We should uh, get going,” Crystal attempts to slow her breathing.

“Definitely,” Gigi agrees breathlessly.

“That was…”

“Yeah.”

“We should… try that again, not in your car,” Crystal says, her cheeks pink. She almost wants to laugh at how completely and utterly cliché this situation is: if they weren’t both girls, would this not be equivalent to the quintessential high school experience of getting felt up in some boy’s car?

“I’d like that,” Gigi says, regaining her composure. “Ready to go?”

“Yep,” Crystal says, adjusting her shirt.

They walk into the gates of the school, parting ways at the entrance.

Crystal realizes she’s still wearing Gigi’s letterman’s jacket and smiles.

“You did what?!” Jackie yells, wide-eyed.

Crystal and Jackie are sitting in Crystal’s bedroom, getting ready to go to the football game. Crystal could care less about supporting her school’s team, or “school spirit” as Jan referred to it, but she painted purple and white streaks on her cheeks anyways. If anything, she thinks Gigi will find it cute.

“Yeah,” Crystal replies to Jackie sheepishly.

“Weren’t you scared of someone seeing?! Not even a student, but like, a teacher!”

“Not really, my mind was… elsewhere,” Crystal replies honestly.

“You’re braver than I am, I’ll give you that,” Jackie mimics Crystal’s idea, dragging purple and white face paint across her own cheeks. “I’m scared to even kiss Jan on the cheek in the car. Or anywhere on campus.”

“Yeah, it might not have been the most responsible idea, in retrospect,” Crystal admits.

“Just be careful, I’d hate for people to find out about you guys,” Jackie warns.

“I don’t plan on people finding out,” Crystal assures her. “On that topic, what’s the deal with Jan’s mom?”

“What do you mean?”

“She just… knows about you guys? And lets you have sleepovers?” Crystal elaborates.

“Yeah,” Jackie smiles. “I remember the day her mom found out. We were laying in her backyard, drinking smoothies, and her mom was supposed to be at the gym. She got home early, I guess, and saw Jan lean in and kiss me.”

“What did she do?”

“She knocked on the window and Jan completely freaked out. She ran inside, and her mom apparently just asked if we were dating, and Jan tried to say it was nothing and completely innocent. Her mom didn’t buy it, and walked outside and asked me . I can’t lie, and I thought she was angry, so I said yes and offered to leave.”

“Was she mad?”

“Oh god no. She gave Jan a hug, and gave me a hug, and said she was happy that if Jan was going to be dating in high school, it was someone like me. It was the first time I’d ever heard that,” Jackie’s eyes light up.

“That’s insane, and really sweet,” Crystal muses. “My parents are both really great, but I doubt they’d respond like that.”

“Mine definitely wouldn’t. I’d be disowned in a second.”

“I’m sorry, Jackie,” Crystal sympathizes.

“Don’t be. Jan’s mom does a good enough job at making me feel like I’m a part of their family.”

The two spend the rest of the time getting ready in relative silence. Six o’clock rolls around, and the pair make their way downstairs to ask if Crystal’s mom can drop them off. Jackie doesn’t want to deal with parking at school during a football game.

“Hey mom! We’re ready to go,” Crystal tells her.

Her mom looks up at her from the book she’s reading. “Oh honey, you two look adorable !”

“Thanks,” Crystal smiles.

“Do you need me to pick you up?” Crystal’s mom asks.

“No, I think we’re staying over at Jan’s - Gigi will drive.”

“Sounds good!” Crystal’s mom grabs her keys. “Let’s get going, then!”

The car ride is short and sweet; it’s filled with small-talk and her mom’s bad taste in music.

“Have fun and be safe, girls!” Crystal’s mom calls out as the two exit the car.

Crystal waves, telling her mom that she loves her, and sets off towards the bleachers with Jackie.

“So, if I’m being completely honest, I don’t uh, really want to sit in the back the whole time,” Crystal laughs.

“Oh?”

“I mean, I wanna like, cheer on Gigi or whatever,” she says. Crystal is wearing the blonde’s letterman’s jacket, and she feels like the girlfriend of the high school quarterback.

Except she isn’t Gigi’s girlfriend and Gigi is the head cheerleader.

“That’s… cute. Okay, well, fine by me,” Jackie shrugs.

The two sit several rows back from the front, far enough away from the over-zealous fans but close enough that they can still see the field, waiting for the game to start.

“Do you come to these much?” Crystal asks.

“Not as much as Jan would like, I’m sure,” Jackie shares. “I guess now that I have you to come with, I’ll come more.”

“It’s like a reverse double-date, or something,” Crystal laughs. “I never thought I’d be sitting at a football game for a girl .”

“I never thought I’d actually make a friend at this school,” Jackie says seriously, attempting to cover the serious nature of her statement with a laugh.

“Come on, you have other friends, right?”

Jackie shakes her head. “I came out and everyone dropped like flies. That and being the weird Persian kid kind of kills my ability to have a social life.”

“Geeze, I’m sorry, Jackie.”

“Hey, I’ve got you and Jan, and oddly enough, Gigi is back in my life, so I can’t complain, can I?”

The game starts, and all of the football players make their way onto the field. The cheerleaders run out shortly after, and Crystal cranes her neck to see her favorite blonde. She stands front and center, leading both the audience and the squad in chants. Gigi is bubbly and upbeat and in her element; she dances and kicks and does the splits and Crystal is nothing short of amazed by her. Next to her, Jackie smiles at Jan and waves to her several times when the squad has a break. Jan beams up at her, waving back each time.

Crystal couldn’t say who won the game, or how many points were scored; she knows next to nothing about sports and was far more entertained by watching Gigi down on the field than the game itself. When the game is over, she and Jackie make their way down to the field to wait for their respective blondes.

Crystal sees Gigi emerge from the field, a smile painted across her face.

“Gi, you were awesome!” Crystal grins, hugging her.

“I’m glad you had fun!” Gigi says enthusiastically.

“Sorry that I sort of stole your jacket,” Crystal apologizes. “You probably wanted it during the game.”

“It looks much cuter on you,” Gigi winks. “Plus, I kind of like seeing you in my jacket.”

“Gross!” Jan jokes, elbowing Gigi. “Are you lovebirds ready to go?”

“I’m ready,” Crystal nods, and Gigi agrees.

“Great! Mom said she’d order pizza for us all!”

The four head to Gigi’s car; it’s less than a five minute drive to Jan’s house from the school.

Jan’s house is surprisingly large; Crystal isn’t used to the gigantic houses that seem to line the streets in Los Angeles. Jan unlocks the door, yelling to tell her mom that she’s home.

Jan’s mom emerges from the kitchen, approaching the door.

“Hi, sweetie, how was the game?” she hugs Jan.

“It was good, we won!” Jan tells her.

“Hello, Jackie!” Jan’s mom moves to hug her daughter’s girlfriend. “You look adorable with your face painted like that!”

“Thank you! It was Crystal’s idea.”

Jan’s mom turns to look at Crystal. “You must be Crystal, the girls have told me so much about you! It’s so nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too!” Crystal reaches out to shake her hand, and much like her own mother, Jan’s mom pulls her into a hug.

“We’re big on hugs here, handshakes are for strangers!”

Crystal laughs; she thinks her mom would get along swimmingly with Jan’s.

“And Gigi, you don’t get to avoid my hugs, either!” Gigi laughs as she’s wrapped in a hug. “I’m so glad to see that you aren’t third-wheeling with these two anymore!”

“Hey, she never third-wheels!” Jan laughs, faux-scowling at her mom.

“Well, I’m just happy you have a girlfriend, it’ll give you all some super fun double-dates, I’m sure! You make a cute couple!”

“Oh, we’re not gi-” Crystal begins to correct her before Gigi talks.

“Thank you, hopefully Crystal can get Jackie out to more games!” Gigi jokes.

“Let’s hope! Anyways, what kind of pizza do you girls want?”

The four sit on Jan’s living room floor, eating pizza on a mountain of sleeping bags and pillows as It plays in the background. Jackie is cowering into Jan, clearly terrified of the movie that her girlfriend insisted that they watch.

Crystal has seen it before - it’s one of her favorites - and Gigi seems almost as freaked out as Jackie is. The blonde has trapped Crystal’s hand in a death grip and Crystal swears her fingers are losing circulation. She can’t bring herself to care; the sensation of Gigi’s hand in her own is inarguably one of her favorite feelings.

“Why did we have to watch this movie?” Jackie squeaks out. “It’s so… violent.”

“It’s a masterpiece, babe!” Jan debates.

“It’s gory.”

“It’s interesting!”

“Whatever you say, darling,” Jackie says, continuing to hide behind Jan.

Crystal has to stifle a laugh - their exchange is adorably hilarious, and she thinks that they’re perfect for each other. She looks down at Gigi, who has buried her head in Crystal’s arm, and squeezes the blonde’s hand.

Her mind wanders as the movie plays on. Gigi didn’t tell Jan’s mom that they weren’t girlfriends and wonders if Gigi is interested in being exclusive. Crystal hasn’t thought about it much until this point - she’s been enjoying living in the moment with Gigi - but now the thought won’t leave her mind.

She can see herself in a relationship with Gigi easily. They’ll go on dates and fall asleep next to each other and surprise each other with flowers and Crystal will show up at all of Gigi’s cheer events with enthusiasm. She wants to wear the letterman’s jacket every day, and she never wants to go a day without feeling Gigi’s fingers intertwined with her own.

Crystal’s thoughts trail on until the end of the movie. Jackie has fallen asleep in Jan’s lap and Jan is lazily stroking her curly, dark hair as she, too, begins to drift off. Gigi is wide awake, still clutching Crystal’s hand.

“Do you wanna go sit on the porch?” Gigi asks Crystal quietly.

Crystal nods, and the two stand. Gigi has clearly been over to Jan’s house enough that she knows exactly where to go, because she leads Crystal to a sliding glass door. They sit down on the wooden porch in Jan’s backyard, and Crystal lets out a contented sigh as Gigi plants a kiss on her cheek.

“Thanks for coming tonight. It really, really means a lot to me, Crys.”

“Hey, of course. I like watching you, you look so happy when you’re cheering.”

“Not as happy as I am when I’m with you,” Gigi hums.

“That was cheesy,” Crystal jokes, wrapping her arm around the blonde.

“Look what you’ve done to me, Crystal Elizabeth. You’ve turned me into a complete dork! I’m almost as bad as Jan!” Gigi jokes.

Crystal can feel butterflies fluttering around in her stomach when Gigi uses her middle name - it feels like a term of endearment.

“Who said dorky was a bad thing? I happen to think your dorky comments are adorable - or should I say, adorkable!” Crystal laughs.

“Okay, now that was bad,” Gigi snorts.

“You love it.”

“I know.”

The two sit in silence, wrapped up in each other’s arms, enjoying the cool night air.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about something,” Gigi breaks the silence.

“What’s up?” Crystal asks.

“I hate to be that girl that asks this question, but like… what is this?”

Crystal doesn’t know how to answer - she doesn’t know what will be too much for Gigi and doesn’t want to scare the girl off. She doesn’t want to look inexperienced and over-eager.

“I, uh, I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it,” Crystal lies.

“Oh.”

“Not that I don’t want to think about it!” Crystal quickly follows up. “What do you think this is?”

“Hey, not fair! I asked you first!” Gigi giggles.

“I mean, I really like you. Enough that I went to my first high school football game in four years for you.”

“I really like you too, Crystal.”

“So…” Crystal trails off, avoiding the question she knows she needs to ask.

“You’re going to make me be the one to say it, aren’t you?”

“I have no idea what you mean,” Crystal feigns innocence.

“Crystal, I want you to be my girlfriend,” Gigi declares.

Crystal presses a light kiss on Gigi’s lips before replying.

“Gi, I want nothing more than to be your girlfriend.”

Gigi leans her head on Crystal’s shoulder and throws her arms around the older girl’s waist. Crystal runs her fingers through her blonde hair, pressing gentle kisses to the top of her head as the two sit in a comfortable quietness.

Crystal can’t think of anything better than this.

#rpdr fanfiction #gigi goode #crystal methyd #jackie cox #jan sport #crygi #high school au #lesbian au #ms california #mik #concrit welcome #(please review formatting guides. thanks! -v)#s12

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thanksjro · 4 years

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More Than Meets the Eye #12- Gay Rights: the Movie

Finally finished with our franchise obligations! Let’s get back to the main story.

Those are some ominous ellipses. Almost like something bad is going to happen!

Let’s take a look at Cover A for this issue.

When this was released to the general public, alongside the synopsis that stated the Lost Lighters were going to run into a group of Decepticons, a lot of people thought we’d be seeing them meet the Scavengers. This isn’t the case, and that’s not Fulcrum. It’s some other K-Con, one that has purple in his color scheme.

Our story opens up with a narrative framing device:

Welcome to “Before & After”, one of the more ambitious issues of MTMTE in terms of storytelling. Roberts really likes bouncing between scenes and POVs, and he’s really indulging that here.

Rodimus and crew have loaded up on one of the Lost Light’s scouting ships to check in on a planet called Temptoria. Whirl’s leading all the guys in the front in a war cry that wouldn’t be out of place in Hollywood’s version of the Vietnam war, while Brawn demonstrates how to not properly handle a gun. Rodimus tries to explain what exactly they’ll be doing, but no one’s listening, feeding off of the chaotic energy. The back seat isn’t quite as rowdy.

Oh, Ambulon’s here? That’s got to be awkward. And Perceptor’s looking mighty cross about having to pick up a gun again. Isn’t he supposed to be retired from being a science sniper?

Rodimus finally gets everyone to settle down long enough to explain the situation, though not without a little jargon mixup.

Basically, Ultra Magnus went down to Temptoria while the “Shadowplay” story was being told, and found out that the organic populace had been enslaved by a group of Decepticons, and, more importantly, the sovereign agreement that the planet had with Cybertron’s been violated. Also, these guys might have been the one’s who kidnapped the Circle of Light. You remember those guys, right? The guys who were supposed to be in the 2012 Annual, but they weren’t, and Drift got really mad about it.

Rodimus wraps up the briefing with a “’Til all are one!” And we cut over to see what Swerve and Tailgate are up to. Tailgate seems to be a little nervous, not the type to enjoy waiting, but Swerve seems to be doing just fine. Why is that, exactly?

Even if Rung’s still a steamed side dish of a vegetable, he’s still here, in a way. And good on Swerve for not assuming Tailgate can visualize in the same way he can. Aphantasia is more common than one might think.

Escapism is an interesting way of dealing with your problems, but I don’t know enough about wartime psychiatry to know if this is something that would actually be considered a viable solution or not.

Oh, now that I’ve said it, I’ve got the research itch.

Later, later.

Anyway, Tailgate gives it a spin, and his happy place is surprisingly domestic for such a seasoned professional.

Pipes, it’s a clear glass, it’s not hiding anything from you.

Speaking of Pipes, he’s seated next to Hound, as they discuss what happened to Red Alert. Or, rather, the cover story that’s been fed to the rest of the crew by Rodimus, which is that the engine room pretty much attacked him. This is how ghost stories get started.

Trailcutter’s gotten some guns installed in his legs, because he’s a hypocrite.

Over with Chromedome and Rewind, there’s trouble in paradise, as they’re having a lovers’ spat. Chromedome’s giving Rewind the silent treatment, and Rewind’s having none of it. What exactly are they fighting about? We don’t get to know about that yet, but it’s digging up other issues, like Chromedome going back on his promise to stop injecting. The only thing keeping this from becoming a total meltdown is Whirl can-canning through the door to kidnap Rewind, so he can film Whirl getting in the zone before the fight. Whirl’s having a great time. This is probably the first time they’ve gotten to fight something since the Lost Light took off, and he’s all about it.

Rewind’s dragged away, and Chromedome just lets it happen, because he’s feeling cross. It’s good to take a moment to cool off, but I’m not quite sure this was the best time or way for it to happen.

Meanwhile, on the Temptorian surface, Blip the Decepticon, who is likely the dirtiest son of a gun we’ve run into so far, is asked to take a look at the monitor by a guy who sounds exactly like Megatron. It doesn’t particularly matter which Megatron, because comics are not an audio-based medium, so you can pick whichever one you like best. What’s on the monitor does not please Blip in the slightest.

I feel like maybe having guys who don’t turn into flying machines jump out of the bottom of the shuttlecraft isn’t the greatest tactical thinking, but I’m sure everything will be okay. Brawn’s got a gun, maybe he’ll figure out how to rocket-jump before he hits terminal velocity.

Then the narrative jumps to after the fight, as the ship flies away from the scene, and Chromedome isn’t happy. It’s for a different reason than earlier, though.

Man, Pipes just can’t win, can he?

Ambulon remembers that he is, in fact, a medical professional, and starts working on Rewind, while Chromedome tries to ask Swerve just what the hell happened. Swerve’s having his own issues, however.

I’d nearly forgotten they had skeletons.

On the production side of this issue, we’ve got two artists: there’s our usual guy, Alex Milne on the “Before” sections, and Brandon Cahill on the “After”. Cahill’s other Transformers work includes The Transformers (2009) and the sister series to MTMTE, Robots in Disguise. Outside of the franchise, he’s worked on several Marvel pieces, including writing Sable & Fortune and Legion of Monsters. Unlike a lot of the alternate artists we’ve seen for the series, Cahill won’t be a one-and-done; we’ll see his art again in Dark Cybertron, Season 2 of MTMTE, and even Lost Light.

Getting back to the story, we’ve jumped back to the point in the battle where everyone’s hit the ground and are just wailing on each other. Tailgate and Swerve watch the chaos unfold, as Ultra Magnus more or less takes on a platoon of Decepticons.

Drift’s having a great time, as he Naruto runs through the enemy, slashing as he goes with a big ol’ smile on his face. He stabs a guy in the back of the head who was trying to grapple with Rodimus, thus interrupting the little dialogue they had going on. Rodimus is vaguely upset that his moment was cut short.

In the “After”, the shuttle’s landed back on the Lost Light, and Chromedome rushes out with Rewind in his arms to find First Aid with a motorized stretcher. He was hoping for Ratchet- he wants only the best for his shnookums. As they run Rewind down to the medibay, Chromedome starts listing off his allergies- which include ultraviolet light, something we know reveals mnemosurgery scars. This is a holdover from a dropped plot point I’ll cover at a later time; as it stands in the canon narrative, Rewind’s just got an allergy to the friggin’ sun.

Back at the shuttle, Tailgate starts dragging Cyclonus down the gangplank. Oh, hell. You know it’s a bad situation when the guy who literally couldn’t die for six million years is out of commission.

Spoke and Lockstock are a bit of a gag- they always manage to get their asses kicked, but everyone on the ship really likes them. They will never be seen on-panel, and have no character designs.

Over in the medibay, history is being made.

Esteemed members of the jury, I present to you: canon gay robots. The first in a long line of them. This is the starting point of the queer community being handed the Transformers franchise on a silver platter.

Up to this point, Roberts hadn’t gotten any further than implied attraction and affection between robots, in either his fanworks or professional credits. Pretty heavy-handed implication in some cases-

-but implication nonetheless. Here is the first, honest-to-god direct confirmation of two male-coded robots in love.

In love and space-married and recognized by the authority in power, in a comic written in 2012, as a part of a major franchise owned by a massive American company, three years before same-sex marriage would be legalized on a federal level.

As part of the story, it’s great. Within the context of the time during which it was published, it’s a whole other level. This wasn’t just good writing, it was important.

Let me part the kimono a little here, with some personal backstory- I grew up in Buttfuck Nowhere, NC, and went to a high school that was so homogeneous, they were threatening to bus students in after I graduated. I didn’t know what a gay person even was until I was 12. “Lesbian” was used as an insult, and it was one I was subjected to because I had cut my hair short in middle school and wore cargo shorts on occasion. It was something I really pushed against, because that’s how a lot of people react to being forcibly given a label.

Not the best environment for a little queer kid, clearly.

It wasn’t until well after I’d gone to college that I really started understanding who I was. Hell, I’m still figuring some things out, but at least I’m getting somewhere.

I remember reading this for the first time in 2015- yes, I got into the comics sort of late- and then having to reread it. I needed a moment just to process what had happened. As a person who had only recently come to terms with their sexuality at the time, it was kind of mind-blowing to have that sort of representation, especially since I was also watching Transformers Prime at around the same time. Talk about the duality of man, am I right?

These days, there’s a lot more representation in many different forms of media. Things are getting better. Which, y’know, yay! I’m glad. I just can’t help but wonder if things would have been a little different if this sort of representation had been available earlier on.

Anyway, so yes, Chromedome’s got a difficult choice to make for Rewind- either let his body try to sort itself out, or let First Aid break out the clamps and try to jumpstart him. Rewind’s got a relatively rare spark type, but luckily Chromedome’s the same type. Looks like everything’s coming up roses for our boys!

Tailgate and Cyclonus aren’t getting nearly as good a break.

My god, he’s filled with grape soda!

Back in the “Before”, things are getting a little silly.

Chromedome, what POSSIBLE tactical advantage could you be gaining from riding the giant, fire-breathing robot dinosaur? This is why they threw you in Kimia, isn’t it? Because you’re a dumbass.

While this bullshit is happening, Rewind and Tailgate are stacked on top of each other to look through a window, because I guess that’s just how things turn out when the resident couple on the ship is upset with one another. Rewind’s found something, but it isn’t the Circle of Light. Rather, it seems the Decepticons are dabbling in Pink Alchemy- a rather inefficient process that allows organic creatures to be turned into energon for consumption.

The good guy thing to do would be to save all the organics, but there’s a bit of a problem- the door is wired to a massive bomb. Good thing Tailgate was in Bomb Disposal, and is just generally an impressive and well-established dude. He gets to work.

Getting back to a point I made during Chaos Theory, Whirl can’t make a fist. Punching himself in the face is probably more akin to slashing it.

Tailgate’s got a weird approach to bombs, taking the time to teach Rewind how to do it, by way of student-led learning. They decide to poke a hole in the bottom of the bomb to drain all the explosive fluid out, which Tailgate does with little robot tears streaming down his face. Fear is a great motivator.

Oof, not a “Domey” in sight. That’s how you know things are rough.

Outside of this little scene, Whirl and Cyclonus are handling Decepticons. Whirl’s got a hold on that guy who’s voiced by Frank Welker, and we get a nice shot of his sad cat face before Whirl turns his head into a memory.

Swerve- who is also here- asks Whirl to loan him a gun.

GODDAMMIT SWERVE.

Not a single one of you bastards know proper gun safety! Between all the severe depression and reckless weapon-handling, I genuinely have no idea how the hell are any of you are still alive.

In the “After”, Chromedome’s just finished jumpstarting Rewind, and it’ll take a bit to see if it worked, so he’s left alone with his thoughts.

Just kidding, Tailgate’s come over to check in. Seems like Cyclonus is gonna pull through, something Chromedome’s not terribly thrilled about. Chromedome’s still miffed about the whole Kimia thing.

We finally learn why Chromedome and Rewind were fighting; it was because Rewind, as a walking historical database, has been deemed too important to die, and can opt out of any fight he choose to, but he doesn’t, thereby putting himself in harm’s way unnecessarily. Maybe he just worries about you when you go out there on the battlefield alone, Chromedome, you ever think of that? Maybe he doesn’t want to wonder when his husband will return home from the war.

Tailgate asks about all the little vials that are scattered around Rewind’s hospital bed, and we get a little Cybertronian tradition thrown at us.

The vials are filled with innermost energon, the stuff that surrounds the spark casing and never changes, no matter how much you modify or upgrade your body. Leaving a little of the stuff for someone in an offering signifies that you care very much for that person. Chromedome can’t give Rewind any, because he was “born dry”, but I think being space-married to the guy more than makes up for it.

Tailgate asks how the two of them met, and unlike in issue #6, Chromedome is feeling vulnerable enough to indulge the question this time.

But first we need to establish that Chromedome is insanely insecure.

So, Rewind is fucking old. He’s older than the Cybertronian civil war, he’s older than the calendar system, and he’s old enough to have been affected by Functionist society’s categorization system. Due to being a memory stick- something that there were millions of back in the day- Ratioism dictated that Rewind as an individual was worth very little, and made him and his like into slaves. Because he was a slave, he needed a master, and that master was none other than Dominus Ambus, also known as Cybertron’s Mech of the Year for 40,000 consecutive years.

Even on Cybertron, there’s a weird stigma about breastfeeding.

Rewind and Dominus quickly became friends, because that’s just the sort of guy Rewind is, and it made Dominus realize that maybe these slaves Cybertron had been working to death were sentient creatures worthy of respect too. He even developed a test to prove that all the slave classes were on the same level of functionality as everyone else.

On their quest to find a cure for the horrible disease Cybercrosis, Rewind and Dominus fucked off into space, on a wild goose chase to try and find Luna 1, the Cybertronian moon that just disappeared one day. Weird, that. They didn’t find it, and by the time they’d come back home, the war was well underway. They immediately became Autobots, and that was it for a while.

Then we move on to how Chromedome and Rewind met, and boy is it a doozy.

Chromedome had decided he wanted to kill himself, so he moseyed on over to the nearest relinquishment clinic- they did assisted suicides instead of body-swaps at this point- to do the deed. He was sitting in the waiting room, when he heard someone screaming. He wandered into the back to find Rewind weeping over a coffin, and he thought to himself “Maybe I don’t need to die after all” as he offered his future conjunx a shoulder to cry on.

What a fucking dark start to a relationship.

Rewind wasn’t upset about anyone who was dead though, but rather missing- Dominus had disappeared into thin air months ago, and Rewind was getting desperate to find him, looking in more and more awful places in the hope of recovering what he’d lost.

As it turns out, he’s still doing that. The reason the two of them are on the Lost Light is because Rewind needs to find Dominus- alive or dead, it doesn’t seem to particularly matter at this point. That’s why he buys snuff films in dark alleys.

See, Tailgate gets it.

Guys, bad news.

Chromedome’s spark is too weak to jumpstart Rewind. Unless they find another compatible donor, Rewind’s gonna be in big trouble. There’s nothing to do but wait.

Later, in their room, Chromedome is sitting on the floor and very much not following doctor’s orders to get some sleep. Someone on the opposite side of the door he’s leaning up against starts talking to him. Chromedome doesn’t seem to want to hear any of it, until he does.

Given who the basement dweller is, this probably won’t turn out so hot.

Chromedome gets a call from the medibay, and fortunately the universe has decided to play nice this go around, because someone came forward as a match.

But it’s not like Whirl cares about anyone, right? Not in the slightest, nuh-uh, not him!

While Chromedome gives Whirl what is probably an uncomfortably long hug, and they both most likely ignore the fact that Chromedome would be actively suicidal without Rewind, Tailgate’s off in the corner, having taken his hand off and begun pouring cartoon toxic waste into a vial. It’s actually his innermost energon. Boy’s making an offering, but it isn’t to Rewind.

It’s to this ungrateful fuck.

Cyclonus stalks away from Tailgate’s kindness, until he’s stopped by witnessing the power of love.

Everyone likes Rewind, and these displays of affection seems to have reminded Cyclonus that he’s horrifically lonely. Feeling some remorse over his actions- not that he’ll ever admit it out loud- he goes back to help Tailgate pick up the pieces of the vial he broke.

Wrapping up our story, we go back to the “Before”, right before the bomb is set to go off. Whirl and Cyclonus have more or less taken care of the Decepticons, Whirl suggests they set aside their differences and agree to stop trying to murder each other, in a surprising show of reason and, perhaps, self-preservation. Cyclonus doesn’t seem to agree with the idea.

I genuinely think that’s the most he’s said all series up to this point.

Rewind calls the two idiots over for help, because Tailgate’s about to pull a self-sacrifice to get this bomb emptied, and he just isn’t listening to reason. Cyclonus assists.

Once Tailgate’s been fastball-specialed out of the room, Whirl decides to get back to being a bastard, and locks Cyclonus and Rewind in with the bomb with 10 seconds left on the clock. Ah, so the donation was out of guilt, I see. Still a form of caring, in its own way.

With no way to escape, all Cyclonus can do is attempt to shield Rewind with his body as the bomb goes off.

That’s the end of the issue but it’s the middle of the story, and despite what Cyclonus says, dynamics are changing. Slowly, but surely, things are shifting. He’s headed for a lot of character development, and he’ll be kicking and screaming the whole way.

#transformers #jro #mtmte #issue 12 #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post #overthinking about robots #incoming analysis #comic script writing

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thoughtfullyyoungduck · 4 years

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Arcade

aquesion Summary: You can do one where Eddie has a teenage son and Richie thinks he doesn't like him?

A/N: this was requested by anon, I hope you enjoy!

An ibuprofen looked very appealing to Richie right about now. The tension building up in hos forehead and the back of his head led him to believe this was a stressed induced headache, and Richie has no issue pinpointing exactly who orchestrated it.

In all fairness, Luke, Eddie’s son, had every right to think going to an arcade was lame, but Richie was stuck with an eighties mindset and imagined the arcade being more like those times, instead of a sad, worn down building with a handful of arcade games and only five people present, two of them as old as the building they found themselves in. The man behind the counter to change money into coins creeped on every person occupying the machines, peering over his low hanging glasses and staring unabashedly.

Luke flipped the pocket money Richie dumped in his hands out on the counter, the stoic look not allowing one shift that would grant Richie the possibility of reading his emotions. He’s Eddie son, and so Richie mistakenly assumed that winning over his favor was a matter of hours, but the way their progress was crawling by, his favor might never be granted.

The money traits with a pitiful six coins, meaning a total of two games each, way less then Richie calculated in his head, and then creeper has the audacity to laugh at them, showing his grungy yellow teeth.

‘Four? I payed for way more than that.’ Richie holds his ground, recounting the aquesion again and concluding again that the coins he received are not enough.

‘More money more games’, is the only thing the man says for himself, the sentence probably memorized and routine.

Richie bristles, he’s been on edge for the better part of the day, more than ready to take on some guy in a sleazy arcade who acts like he can effort to be indifferent towards his very unattainable customers, but Luke gathers them in his palm and waves of Richie’s protests.

‘It’s fine. Faster we’ll be out of here anyway.’ It’s the most he has spoken since their arrival and it’s to express his wish to get this over with. Good job Tozier.

‘Aren’t you a comedian anyway? I’m sure you earn a ton of money.’

Though it’s true, it’s still a rip-off, and when Luke turns his back Richie adamantly flips the creeper the bird, before scooting after his ‘stepson’. Supposedly, if all goes well at least, which it hasn’t up to this point.

The comedian part is the first thing Richie messed up, by resting on his laurels and assuming that he was up to date with what the kids categorized as cool nowadays. His whole target audience consisted of teenagers, aged Luke, and so he thought he had a few trendy points saved up to appease the son of the love of his life, but apparently not.

It wasn’t even like they spewed out the fact they were dating to him straight away either. Eddie took him on day trips every weekend since the divorce, to gingerly introduce the new parts of his father Eddie had hid away, from himself too, like him being gay.

When Eddie did come forward and came clean, he excitedly informed Richie that Luke was okay with his father being himself, but that he hadn’t mentioned Richie yet.

That was normal and Richie understood, he never pushed Eddie for a meeting despite gaining excitement the more information he gathered about him. In fact, Myra told him about the relationship out of spite and jealousy, to turn her son against his dad, but that backfired horribly.

Luke’s curious peeked about Richie too. About the man Eddie renewed his whole life for, but he must not have liked what he found in Richie, because the boy hanging out with Richie now is cold.

And Eddie warned him too, but Richie was too stubborn to listen. Gently bringing up the fact that Richie needed to tame down the over sexual jabs, especially in regards of Eddie’s mother. Richie brushed that advice off, mind set on the idea that Eddie loves his joke, even when he pretends he doesn’t, so Luke must find some humor in them too. Mission failed.

Luke’s hobbies consisted of painting and video games, and Richie didn’t understand the slightest about painting, but he did know a lot about videogames. Visiting an arcade seemed fun, a way to show Luke that Richie mastered the skill of triumphing in any computer based game, but the place he decided on was a dumpster, and the machines were likely not updated since the eighties.

None of it looked appealing, the dust thicker than Bill’s smallest book, so much so that even Richie shuddered at the prospect of touching it. Luke ambled between machines with his hands deep in his pockets.

‘See anything you like?’ Richie strikes up a conversation, nibbling on the pad of his thumb to stop himself from making another joke. Luke didn’t find his last one so funny.

‘No’, Luke says, continuing his path without even bothering to look at Richie. Richie wants to asks him if he’d like to go home, knowing for sure the answers is yes, but he doesn’t want to blow the only opportunity he may have to get to know Luke, so he toughens it out.

‘Oh look at this.’ Absentmindedly, he walks over to the one game he spend his entire summer playing, street fighter, and pins down the start button, the intro song emerging from the speakers.

‘This is what I impressed your dad with back in middle school.’

‘Somehow I don’t see how that would’ve worked out.’

‘I won all the time and your dad hated that he lost to me, so he fought me again and again, losing every single time and returning next day for another beatdown. It was a good way to hang around him without seeming suspicious.’

‘Maybe you were good at it then, but you’ve regressed old man.’

‘How about I show you how good I am at this game?’

‘Bring it on.’

They compete in silence, emerged in their own players actions and desperate to win from the other. Luke’s good, really good, with his little experience of this particular game he whips the floor with Richie.

Richie obviously can’t let that happen, so he opts to distract the boy the same way he did to others in Derry, in the hopes of coming out on top.

‘Really? And you say you’re a video-game expert, my grandpa can do better then you’, Richie eggs him on, delivering a punch to Luke’s character with a hard knock on the controls.

‘I sure am. And are you sure it’s not yourself you’re talking about? You know, because of how old you are?’

Richie gasps dramatically, releasing the consoles and clasping his hands on his chest while he gasp in faux-upset. Luke laughs once, then delivers the final blow to end the game with Richie losing.

Richie gapes open mouthed, beat at his own game, the end credits blinking by.

‘Guess I’m better than you expected huh.’ Luke’s laughing now, his frown relaxed in a gentle smile that resembles Eddie a whole lot.

‘Maybe we can go again and see who wins?’

‘You’d want that? I mean of course, let me go get some more coins.’

Luke blinks, his face back to neutral but at least he’s no longer frowning. It’s not much, but it’s a start.

#my writing #reddie #richie x son #richie as a dad #eddie as a dad #but just mentioned in this story #it chapter two imagine

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t0d0r0ni · 5 years

Text

Ikemen Revolution Squad as High School Students

Ray Blackwell

He's a total soccer club boi

co-president of the animal club alongside with edgar and loki

has been personally invited in multiple sports clubs when he finishes soccer season but he says hes too busy practicing cough already in the animal club

girls and dudes alike has asked him out.

hes so fucking aloof but cool and soft and kind and has this leadership vibe

that one kid everyone wants to have group projects with

highkey

dis boi is only a freshman but hes doing so well

sobs

Sirius Oswald

President of the chess club. Vice-president of the gardening club.

senior

that one dude that will always be nice to you

everyone likes him

one of those rare gems where they're the teachers pet but nobody minds

secretary of the student council

nobody knows how he manages all this stuff

his friends often joke around saying hes always the mom of the group

they get knuckle sandwiches

always wins at team activities because of his tactician skills

would join the cooking club too but thats too much for him

he was in the cooking club when he was in freshman year

flying colors in his SATs boom boom harvard graduate

Luka Clemence

boi this boi has so many fangirls

especially jonah and seth

president of the cooking club and a respected member of the kendo team

sophomore year

hes kind of like honey from ohshc

a lot of people joined the cooking club because of him

annoys him because most of them dont know how to cook

likes alice because she actually knows how to make stuff and knows what shes doing and doesnt get in his way

*fierce* in kendo

hes a very good student

hangs out with eggar a lot and if he really had to play another sport, he would choose volleyball or tennis where its less toxic

RICH BOY ALERT RICH BOY ALERT WARNING WARNING RICH BOY ALERT RICH BOY ALERT

his parents own a really big corporate and rich as fuck

he uses a lot of his ridiculous allowance to fund for school events and charity

girls SCREAM at luka and seth what hair products they use

poor boi

Fenrir Godspeed

screw ray being asked for some teams FENRIR GOT ALL THE SPORTS TEAMS BEGGING FOR HIM TO COME

He joined the archery club because there were no shooting ranges

vERY GOOD AT ARCHERY Hes a FUCKING GOD

thinking of joining track too

popular kids club one hundred percent

hes also A BIG SOCCER BOI OMG BEST TEAMMATES WITH RAY NOTHING CAN BEAT THEM THEY'RE THE RIDICULOUS FIRST YEARS LIKE KAGEYAMA AND HINATA BUT BOTH OF THEM ARE SHORT AT 5'8 cough

after soccer ends he WILL BE SHINING STAR QUARTERBACK ONLY A FRESHMAN WOWOWOWOWOW

girls love him a lot because hes a ficking gentleman at other times

RICH BOY NUMBER TWO ALERT

stays really humble tho

also donates to school and charity

but he also screams and buys controllers games and consoles monthly and plays with ray and seth occasionally dragging luka and sirius in too

grades are okay

Seth Hyde

EVERYONE'S BEST FRIEND

President of the drama club

BEAUTY GURU

his grades are okay too

HIS ACTING AND FASHION SENSE IS AMAZING

Vice-president of the fashion club

junior year

Girls love him for his advice

Seth was asked out by many boys thinking seth's gay

always rejects ppl but will say i love you a lot

he got good grades on SAT (he thinks)

Helps organize many school events

girls SCREAM at luka and seth what hair products they use

Lancelot Kingsley

senior

got even better grades than sirius and boom boom harvard graduate

his family hella rich

president of school council

cold boi

angsty boi

leader boi

neEERDDDDDDDDD

hes a loner LOSERRRRRRR

anyway he is amazing at leadership and the school was amazing since he was elected for a council member at freshman year

people hate him a lot

lowkey has fangirls

BOYS JEALOUS ASF HOW HE GOT EVERYONE

he dont get everything

he needs some love ToT

RICH BOY NUMBER THREE

Jonah Clemence

RICH BOY NUMBER FOUR

and lives up to rich boy name

DRAMA QUEEN

vice president of drama club

same grade as seth

angry that hes second

vice president of the school

KISSES LANCELOT'S ASS ALL THE TIME SIDES WITH HIM AGREES ON HIM WITH EVERYTHING

lowkey bothers lancelot a lot (pun not intended)

obsessed with his brother and tried to join the cooking club but he was instantly banned the moment the rumor of the vice president joining the club

luka had to deal with dozens of other students after wards

girls ask him all the time for product recommendations

he REFUSES to sit at the cafeteria or any "commoner" place

drives to a 5 star expensive ass restaurant everyday at lunch time and drives back no ficking questions

he'll only sit in those horrid selections of places with Luka and Lancelot PERIOD

Hates Sirius with a passion with his connections of lancelot

EXPENSIVE BOI WITH THAT BUCCI AND WERSACE AND VOUIS LUTTON

Department stores who?

edgar bugs him so fucking much

His grades are good

Edgar Bright

grades are amazing

looks are amazing

talent is amazing

boys hate him also because hes so perfect

basketball captain

same grade as luka

oh i forgot

RICH BOY NUMERO CINCO

im getting tired of typing rich boy

animal fanboy

girls love him

some ppl lowkey creeped out of how perfect he is and always smiles

Zero

SWEETHEART

BBY

He’s in the fencing team, kendo team, anything involved with swords hes in it

not rich boi FINALLY

hes known as “sword guy”

all girls like him as either a person or a crush

nobody hates him??

always gives candy whenever someone feels sad

his grades are some of the best

never slacks off

teacher’s pet

good boi

Kyle Ash

teachers are in fucking disbelief on how smart he is

RICH BOY NUMBER SIX

he doesnt use any money tho lol

kyle sometimes teaches the class, and everyone prefers that because hes chill and lazy as fuck and somehow makes everyone understand what the lesson point is

he could’ve skipped grades up to twelfth grade when he was ten but hes too lazy

he drinks a lot of mocktails

he loves soda, juice, warm drinks, cold drinks

kyle always declares that hes going to be a doc blowing all his savings on bourbon and beer

KYLE IS SO HOT THOUGH AND PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND HOW AND WHY

aces the cpr classes

aces health class

aces chemistry

aces anything related to academics

best grades in his year

#ikemen revolution #ikemenseries #ikerev #ikemen lancelot kingsley #ikemen ray blackwell #ikemen sirius oswald #ikemen jonah clemence #ikemen luka clemence #ikemen edgar bright #ikemen fenrir godspeed #ikemen zero #ikemen seth hyde #ikemen kyle ash #ikemen revolution alice and magic in wonderland #ikemen kakumei #ikemen headcanon #ikemen revolution headcanon #ikemen fanfiction

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stellar-alley · 4 years

Text

•The One With The Maniac•

So this oneshot is gonna be just a little bit different from my others. It's going to be based on a song! I'm hoping to do a couple of different songs oneshots. This one-shot is gonna be based on Conan Gray's Maniac. I hope you guys enjoy!

Also, just a little disclaimer if the Losers are kinda out of character...

Summary: Based off of Conan Gray's Maniac. Richie wants Eddie back so he shows up at his home all alone, with a shovel and a rose.

Maniac

You were with your friends, partying When the alcohol kicked in Said you wanted me dead

Friday's sun was setting over the small town of Derry. Two teens finished off a six-pack of beer as they sat side by side in the back parking lot of their local mall.

"Rich, Truth or Dare?" The redhead asked the trashmouth as he passed her his cigarette before responding, "Dare" he smirked.

The girl took her time, pondering about the dare. She blew smoke into the cool April air before she spoke, "If you could kill one person at school, who'd it be?".

"Bev! I said a dare, you've gotta get your ears checked darling-"

"Answer the question and you'll get your damn dare" She responded, a glare in her eyes. He tended to do this when he didn't get what he wanted.

"Fine... If you've gotta know, it's that asshat from the cafeteria. Eddie fucking Kaspbrak" He responded with a rolling of his eyes.

"Isn't that the guy who ruined your shirt?" She asks, although her voice is soft, not much emotion since she's paying more attention towards the cigarette between her fingers then the conversation she was having. "The guy you dated?" She wondered allowed, without realizing the line she had just crossed.

"Yeah, the total creep. And the nerve of that kid! Coming up to me in the cafeteria, ruining my favourite shirt. I wish I could've given him the beating he was asking for" Richie mumbled as he pulled another cigarette out from his pocket and lit it. He was tired of always having to wait for Beverly to pass hers back.

It wasn't as big of a deal as Richie made it out to be. Eddie was walking through the cafeteria with his friends, The Losers. The trashmouth was in the mood to have a little fun. So just for shits and giggles he stuck his foot out from beneath the lunch table and waited for trouble. Eddie hadn't noticed the hazard when he walked by, but that didn't mean he didn't trip and spill his mystery soup (not event the lunch ladies know what's in that shit) all over Richie and his favourite shirt.

Well, that's what he claims, the shirt was the one he won during his first track meet, the meet that changed his entire high school career, he did come in third after all. It's what got him from the losers table to the table everyone wished they sat at with the popular kids. (cliche ikr?). But his real favourite shirt wasn't technically a shirt at all, it was a button-down shirt, some may even call it a Hawaiian shirt. It was white with dark blue palm trees, but he never told his friends that, well at least his new friends... They didn't really know much about him, aside from the whole 'track star' thing and Richie wanted to keep it that way.

"Then do it... Anyone who ruins Richie Tozier's favourite shirt deserves it" Her response was laced with mockery, practically holding back the laughter.

Richie suddenly sat up a little straight, puffing his chest out in an attempt to seem more manly. "What? You think I won't?" He scuffed as Bev rolled her eyes.

"I know you Rich. Your bark is worse than your bite. You say you'll do it, and never will" She glanced away right when Richie jumped off the ledge, landing on the pavement before subtly stumbling over his feet. He quickly caught himself and tried to play it off. The two had been sitting on a ledge in the back parking lot of their local mall.

"Yeah. Well, guess what, today's the day you're wrong. Get ready to eat your own words, Marsh!" Richie practically shouted.

He'd already turned to walk away when Beverly shouted to him "Take pics for me". There wasn't much emotion in her voice though as she knew that Richie wasn't going to do it. The two had been friends for years and she would bet that Richie would make up this elaborate plan but end up spending the night alone in his room, then wake up with an ache in his wrist. So she simply watched his back as he slowly disappeared into the night.

So, you showed up at my home, all alone with a shovel and a rose

The front door opened almost immediately after Richie knocked on it.

"Hell-oh..." The voice stopped mid-sentence. Their eyes grew wide with shock "What the hell are you doing here?", the boy at the door hissed. Before either of them could get another word out, the boy at the door glanced over his shoulder and slipped outside, gently closing the door behind him.

Standing before Richie was his ex-boyfriend. The two had been best friends for the majority of their lives and decided to start dating in their sophomore year of high school. It went extremely well since the boys were head over heels for each other, powered by the countless years where they never admitted their love for each other. Let's just say they had an epic love story, but the ending came too soon.

Richie was tall. Well taller than the boy who stood before him, he had a couple of inches on him for sure. Richie's hair was a mess of dark curls that flopped onto his rugged face. Unlike the other boy who's hair was layers of neatly combed brown waves that perfectly framed his soft face, where his confused eyes stared daggers at Richie.

"Eddie I'm so-" Richie started.

"No, stop-"

"Please just let me explain".

"Start with why you have a fucking shovel" Eddie jetted his hand out to motion towards the shovel that Richie had held over his shoulder.

"Oh yeah, shit" He cursed before carelessly dropping it, letting it clatter on the front porch. Now with the shovel gone, the only other thing in his grasp was the rose. "Eddie, please... I messed up and I'm sorry..." His voice drifted off as Eddie crossed his arms over his chest.

'Cause people like you always want back what they can't have But I'm past that and you know that So you should turn back to your rat pack, tell 'em trash

"Yeah, Rich. You and the rest of the fucking world! You're the guy who wants everything that you can't have. You know that I don't swoon over you like everyone else at that damned school and it drives you completely insane" Some could say Eddie wore a smirk on his face, but it was really his way of bitting back the tears that were begging to escape.

Tell all of your friends that I'm crazy and drive you mad

"Fine. Okay, whatever. You're so fucking stubborn. Eddie, I'm apologizing! I never do this and what, you can't even accept it! I'm trying to fix something here" Richie stopped to let out a breath of air, a heavy sigh. "This is exactly why we never worked, cause you drive me insane. I can't believe I let things get this out of hand, I should've dumped you when you started stalking me-"

That I'm such a stalker, a watcher, a psychopath

Then tell them you hate me and dated me just for laughs

So, why do you call me and tell me you want me back?

"Richie, you are the one who told your friends that it was a joke, that we weren't dating, then you went and cheated on Sally fucking Jenson..." Eddie's voice cracked as the memories of the past years flashed through his head.

The taller boy angrily ran his hand through his tangled curls. "I had to! I had to put on a show for the rest of the world so they'd get off my fucking back. What was I supposed to do? My boyfriend wouldn't even go public with me because of his overprotective mother" Richie knew the moment he said the words that he had just dug his own grave. "Shit, Eddie-" But he got cut off by the boy with watery eyes.

"What Richie, what do you want me to say? You knew that if I came out as being gay that my mother would fucking disown me. But you couldn't handle that..." his voice drifted off when a tear rolled down his cheek. He inhaled a shaky breath before continuing, "Y-You needed someone to show off to the whole school. Cause that's who you are, Rich. You're the Prince, but I'm not your fucking princess, not anymore...".

Richie didn't get another chance to say anything as Eddie's words were followed by the loud sound of the door slamming in his face.

You maniac You maniac

He knew to get behind the wheel was a mistake, especially after a couple of beers. But he had no other choice, he needed to get home somehow. On the drive home, he couldn't get Eddie off of his mind. He was furious, well... he wanted to be. He wanted to be so mad that he'd go and out Eddie to his mom, just to see his expression. But no matter how mad he wanted to be, he just wasn't. Because he knew Eddie was right. He knew that he called Eddie a crazy stalker to his friends because of the one time Eddie followed him to the mall where he went on a date with Sally Jenson. That led to some bullying by his friends and he felt really bad, but what was he supposed to do? Stand up for his now ex-boyfriend and risk losing his rank? But those asshats never really got him, or his stupid jokes... Only the Losers ever did. Only Eddie really loved him, not the jocks he hung out with now.

Sadly to realize this, Richie's mind needed to focus more on his inner dialogue instead of the road he had just driven off of. The sudden force caused his head to slap against the steering wheel, sending a wave of pain through his head. This mind was spinning.

Am I dead? SHIT wow... Heaven looks a lot like my shitty car- OH NO, IT'S HELL! Wait-

His thoughts were cut short by the soft music still playing from his car radio. Slowly the sweet sound of Sufjan Stevens' Mystery Of Love pulled him back to reality. He realized that he'd driven off of the road and landed in a grassy ditch.

Okay, Richie, you've got this... Just look around and see what happened

After calming himself down, that's exactly what he did. Looking around at the wreckage, it was clear he'd dented his hood and the bumper of his car, but everything else seemed to be intact. That thought changed when he felt something under his nose. Quickly wiping under his nose with the hem of his sleeve, he realized his nose was bleeding.

"Fuck..." He mumbled, resting his head on the steering wheel.

You just went too far Wrecked your car, called me crying in the dark Now you're breakin' my heart

The phone rang one and a half times before it was answered. Richie was greeted by a voice that sounded normal as if he hadn't been screaming at his ex-boyfriend only a little over an hour ago.

"Hello?"

Richie wished he could've sounded as good as Eddie had.

He tried to steady his breathing, to sound strong, but he was only able to produce shaky words with a weak voice, "Eds... baby, light of my life, I fucked up"

The words sent shivers down Eddie's spine. He hadn't heard that phrase in a very long time. To others, the words 'Light of my life', are just other words of endearment. But to Eddie and Richie, it was a code, taken directly from The Shinning. It meant that the other needed help, that they were in an uncomfortable situation and needed to get out. For example if Eddie was about to have a panic attack in class and needed to let Richie know he'd signal him over "Light of my life, I need to go use the bathroom" and then he'd help Eddie. Or if Richie got invited to someone's house and he really didn't want to go, he'd use the code phrase and Eddie would come up with some fake thing they had previously planned to get him out of that situation.

Eddie jumped from his bed and retrieved his coat from the closet, simply asking "Where are you?", before leaving the house.

When Eddie left Richie on his front step, he rushed to his room, hoping to avoid his mother so she wouldn't see the tears streaming down his cheeks.

Fuck, FUCK! I was just getting over him... But of course, he's gotta come back right when I'm getting better.

There was a while where Eddie just laid on his bed on top of the covers. He was curled up into a ball, holding one of his stuffed animals close to his chest as he filled its fur with the tears that fell from his eyes.

By the time Eddie's phone lit up with a call from Richie, the other boy had already cleaned himself up and was reading in bed. As he attempted to escape his current situation.

So, I show up at your place right away

Wipe the tears off of your face

While you beg me to stay

Eddie pulled over onto the side of the road near the area where Richie's car sat in the ditch. The car visibly looked okay from behind, well aside from the smoke coming from the front of the car. Eddie slowly approached the vehicle, examine the damage as he got closer. The hammering of his heart in his chest only worsened the closer he got to the car.

His heart sunk when he realized that the driver's side door was already open. What he saw next caused everything to stop, his breathing, maybe even his heart. Richie wasn't there. Eddie quickly stuck his head inside.

"Richie?" His voice filled with urgency and worry as he examined the car. He wasn't in the back, or anywhere! The blood on the steering wheel only made things worse. "RICHIE!" Eddie shouted, getting out the car. His mind was racing as he raked his hand through his hair. Suddenly it felt like he couldn't breathe, no matter how hard he inhaled he could never catch his breath.

"H-Hey Eds..." The voice was weak, tired, but loud enough to reach Eddie.

The boy's head snapped towards the source of the voice, "RICH" Eddie almost exclaimed. Richie had gotten out of the car and dragged himself on the grassy little hill that led to the road. He was sprawled out in the dark green grass, with a bloodstain on the neck of his shirt.

Eddie ran to him, sliding onto his knees to be beside Richie before asking, "Holy shit... What happened?". After only a moment of being beside him, Eddie smelt something, he leaned closer and inhaled through his nose, "Fuck, Richie have you been drinking? I can't believe you honest-". But the shorter boy stopped when a pair of arms wrapped themselves around him. Richie had sat up and hugged Eddie tightly. At first, the other boy didn't know how to respond, but he slowly gave in and returned the hug. At that moment he felt his breath finally return to his lungs.

He realized in that moment that no matter what he was feeling or where they were, Richie was always able to calm Eddie down. Whether his head was in the clouds or he was in the middle of an anxiety attack, Richie was the only one who knew what to do, and it always worked.

Richie eventually pulled Eddie down onto the grass with him, where the two laid together, their limbs all tangled up and their fingers laced together as they held hands.

Well, people like you always want back what they can't have But I'm past that and you know that

Eddie's head was laying on top of Richie's chest. Slowly rising and falling with the deep breaths that Richie was taking. He slightly shifted his position, he tilted his head up to look at Richie. His eyes were clouded as he stared blankly up into the dark sky. "Are you really sorry?" Eddie's voice was low and soft.

The words caused Richie's eyebrows to knit together in confusion. He slowly sat up, leaning on his elbows causing Eddie to slid off of his chest, he laid beside him. "Eddie, I meant every word I said. I am really sorry about everything I did. I-I let the popularity get to my head, but you know I'd leave all of that behind if that meant I'd make you happy, you know that, right?".

Did Eddie know that? Did he trust him enough to not act out, to not cheat again or spread lies? What was he kidding... The two losers had been best friends since fricken kindergarten, he wasn't going to let Richie's title of Derry High Track Star change that. Cause deep down he was still his Trashmouth.

There was a moment where the two just stared at each other as if Richie hadn't just gotten into a car accident. It was like the rest of the world stopped for a couple of minutes, giving them time to just think.

"Prove it, Trashmouth" Eddie's demand caused a small shiver to run down his spine, no one has called him Trashmouth in a long time. "Prove that you're sorry".

"Whatever you want, my dearest spaghetti" Richie said, slowly closing the distance between the two.

Eddie didn't protest when Richie got closer. He almost didn't even react, he just sat there in shock when Richie's lips brushed up against his own. The kiss was very short and sweet as if the trashmouth was just carefully testing the waters. But Eddie had been testing the water for so long now, trying to figure out his feelings. Sometimes you've just gotta dive right in. That's what he did.

A moment after their lips parted, a smile filled Eddie's face before he leaned back in and kissed Richie Tozier. This kiss was different from the last, it was passionate and forceful, Eddie practically pushed Richie back onto the grass.

The kiss was filled with emotion. It was every moment that the boys didn't spend together over the past two years. Every time they wanted to call, every time they missed the other's touch, every sad night alone and sob session. Finally reunited under the stary night sky. After a childhood of yearning for each other, plus two more years.

So you should turn back to your rat pack, tell 'em trash Tell all of your friends that I'm crazy and drive you mad That I'm such a stalker, a watcher, a psychopath Then tell them you hate me and dated me just for laughs So, why do you call me and tell me you want me back?

Their lips parted for a moment and Eddie took the chance to ask "What about your rat pack?". His voice was quiet and mumbled before the two kissed again.

This time Richie leaned away, he gave Eddie a look and asked "Why now Eds? Gotta ruin the moment" he smirks up at the shorter boy who laid on top of him, "What about them?".

Eddie pulled away, he mirrored the smirk that Richie wore, "What are you gonna do with them? They aren't exactly my biggest fans. What do they think I am again? A stalker? A watcher? A psychopath?". A playful tone filled his voice before he leaned down and kissed him again.

In response, Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist and rolled over, so now Richie laid on Eddie's chest, his legs slowly wrapping around Richie's. "Fuck them Eds. It's you Eddie, it's always been you..." Richie's voice drifted off as he buried his head deep into the crook of Eddie's neck. His eyes closed while he soaked up the warmth from the other's body. He released a shaky exhale as Eddie wrapped his arms around Richie's tired body.

"I-I love you Eddie" He whispered. For the first time in a long time, he was serious, no dirty undertones or jokes, he was sharing his true feelings with the boy he cared for most.

"I love you too Richie" he could feel Eddie's cheeks curl into a smile against his own. But he could also feel the smile when it faltered, "Never leave me again" the cold voice said as Richie leaned away so he could look Eddie dead in the eyes.

"It's you and me against the world, you maniac".

Word count: 3486

I hope everyone liked this one shot! I know it was kinda out of character but I really enjoyed writing it and giving the two different backstories and all. I also really enjoy Maniac by Conan Gray and I'm so happy I got to make my own story based on it.

Anyways I really hope you guys enjoyed this song based oneshot, and be prepared cause I've got more like this plan. And if you have a song that you want me to turn into a Reddie one shot then comment or message me! I take requests (;

That's all from my guys,

Until next time

so long and goodnight

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