#that or people live under a rock because even EN keeps most of An and Kohane's relationship intact and there's still plenty of

[project-sekai-facts]

How are we feeling about ensekai’s emu3 translation!!! (I’m mad)

(if you remember the 3 whole posts i made when asahi got de-gayed on EN you'll know i am mad too and that this is probably going to get long)

i don't like to be too cynical but it was so obvious that they were going to change that line, i had a feeling since the event first released on JP and after the incident with Asahi where I went through and tracked down multiple other examples of EN removing queer subtext it became clear to me that in no way shape or form was "emu-chan really loves nene-chan" making it to EN without getting changed. what i didn't expect was them changing Nene's line after Luka's comment, which actually makes this whole situation far worse than many of their other instances of toning down queer subtext.

for anyone who isn't aware of what happened, in chapter 5 of the current Emu event, there's a scene where Nene, Rui and the Virtual Singers are talking about what would cheer Emu up. The vsingers all talk about how much Emu loves spending time with Nene, leading to the following exchange

If you look for them, any fan TL of this scene will be something similar to this:

Luka: ...Fufu. Emu-chan really loves Nene-chan, doesn't she? Nene: Th-that's nothing special...

EN's official translation is this:

So what's the issue? I'll start with Luka's part. In the original text, she uses the word daisuki, which can mean to "like a lot" or "love". It's a word you will see frequently in the idol/idol-adjacent genre of games, due to its ambiguity in that it can be read as either platonic or romantic when used towards a person, and often will be used in ambiguous situations so that it's harder to confirm the writers' intentions either way. so here, fans of the emu/nene ship could view the fact that emu loves spending her time with nene as more on the romantic side, but people who don't like the ship could view it as platonic and move on.

while they didn't translate daisuki directly, Luka's line still works, and still contains the ambiguity that works as ship tease in the original text. it's a perfectly fine localisation that still conveys the original intent. despite that, there is something to be said about EN's consistent refusal to translate daisuki as love in most instances when it's not used on An/Kohane (but then again, EN has literally teased An/Kohane on their twitter account so is it all that surprising?).

Here's some examples:

Aibou no koto ga daisuki de / he loves his partner -> he cares about his partner very much (The Power of Unity chapter 7 when Kaito is comparing Arata to Akito and Toya)

HARUKA-CHAN, DAISUKI DAYOOOO!!! / HARUKA-CHAN, I LOOOOOVEEE YOU!!! -> You're the best!!! (Dear Me, As I Was Back Then chapter 4 when minori is at an ASRUN concert. this one isn't actually that great of a localisation)

Honachan no koto daisuki dakara. Kore de iinda yo. / I love Honachan, so this is fine. -> I want what's best for her. And this is it. (Leo/need main story chapter 14 after Saki tells Honami she won't bother her anymore)

Minna daisuki de - taisetsuna tomodachi na no / I love them all - they're my dearest friends -> They're all amazing, and very dear to me. (Leo/need main story chapter 17. this isn't good either)

What's particularly amusing about that last one is that there's a second official translation for it that I assume was done by JP staff (since EN never promoted doing the Journey to Bloom subs like they did back when they provided subs for Petit SEKAI) that actually keeps the word daisuki as love.

Yeah. I love all my friends - and they mean the world to me.

It's a better localisation than the official EN team one.

Questionable localisation choices aside, Luka's line is fine and is actually in line with the original. The issue with this localisation very much lies with Nene's part, because that is an entirely new line.

In the original text, Nene's "that's just normal" or "that's nothing special" or however you choose to TL it, is meant to be her questioning Luka's statement, since all the things that the other vsingers said that Emu liked were pretty normal things like going shopping and playing video games with nene. To Nene, these things are normal activities for them to do together, so she gets embarrassed by the fact that Luka concludes from that information that Emu loves Nene. When I dissect it like that I think you can really tell what the writers were going for here lol.

"That's just us being friends" does still convey the idea that Nene thinks these activities aren't anything out of the ordinary and she isn't sure why the vsingers are picking these out as some of Emu's favorite things to do, but it's very different from the original line. "But those are just normal things we do together" is something I just came up with on the spot, but it's a lot closer to the original text and still conveys the same meaning. The fact they changed the line to "that's just us being friends" is, honestly, not even subtle that they're covering up queer subtext. The original scene was very clearly written in as ship tease, and EN mentioning "friends" for no reason, especially since the word nor anything close to it was not used in the original, is instantly a red flag because it's like the go-to for queerbaiting and censorship. This was intentional. There was no need for them to specify that the relationship is platonic, Luka's part is ambiguous for a reason so that fans can view it how they like.

Just to top all this off, here's Rin's original line just before that Luka+Nene interaction:

Oh, and! And! She said that playing games with Nene-chan is also super fun!

And here's Rin's line from the official EN translation:

That's not the same thing, but even more weirdly, the incorrect part (super fun->really loves) is a correct translation for the part changed in Luka's line. So, they can do it, they are willing to say "really loves", just not in the right places. Maybe because Rin's part is less personal than Luka's part? It's strange actually, this isn't the first time they've done this either. Off the top of my head I can think of an example from Shiho's Varied Kindness 2* story where they translated the word "suki" as really loves, despite that being much stronger than the original word used (and the fact that daisuki is used a lot in the Leo/need stories and it's incredibly rare if not entirely unknown for them to translate it correctly).

It's not subtle that they're trying to remove implications of the characters possibly being queer, they did it in curtain call and they did it in walk on and on, and multiple times before then too. And considering some of the content in this year's events and the amount of times they say daisuki alone, it's gonna keep happening. honestly i hate the fact that i keep trying to justify the translations in these posts. these translations are intentional. what happened in the curtain call translation back in october says enough. when a character who uses explicitly romantic language towards another guy passes as a straight character in the translation you know they're doing it on purpose.

oh and once again, it's only the EN server that has this issue. The scene in question was translated almost word-for-word on the TW and KR servers.

read fan translations. they're better than what EN gives us and people put a lot of effort into them.

[tiashe]

07-Ghost - Name Meaning Megalist

07-Ghost features many eccentric names, but as weird as some of them may seem at first glance, they’re mostly quite meaningful! This is a list I’ve been trying to compile for a while now, but I can’t say it’s quite complete. Please do let me know if you have any ideas or catch any mistakes! I think 07′s naming conventions are really interesting, so I hope you enjoy this list!

Teito

Wahrheit (GR): Truth -> Referencing Teito's main goal of "finding the truth behind the war".

Tiashe: ?

Raggs: ?

Teito (JP - 帝都): Imperial capital -> If you combine the “Tei” part of Teito’s name with the “Ou” part of Ouka’s, you get Teiou (帝王), which means “sovereign”! Cute little easter egg.

Klein (GR): Small -> Referencing his small stature.

Frau

Frau (GR): Woman -> Weird choice for a name for sure. Regardless, it does sound a bit like “Faust”. According to legend, Faust sells his soul to the devil to use his powers, which is similar to what Frau did with Verloren's scythe.

Sichel (GR): Scythe -> Yes, it’s not “Zehel”. Also, it’s written as 斬魂 in Japanese, which means “killing soul”, possibly referencing Sichel’s ability to cut people’s ties with misfortune.

Labrador

Ilyusha (RU - Ильюша): Elijah -> Diminutive form of the name Ilya (Илья). This one is pretty interesting. It’s most likely a direct reference to Dostoevsky's Brothers Karamazov, in which there is a sickly young child named Ilyusha. Labrador appears to be influenced by the protagonist of this novel, Alyosha. Believe me, I’m not making this up, there are so many similarities between this book and 07! Amemiya and Ichihara even directly reference the novel in Battle Rabbits. Also, Elijah is a prophet, like Lab.

Kraut (GR): Herb -> Referencing the Kraut house's association with herbs and other plants. Also means "cabbage". Unfortunately also a derogatory way to refer to Germans, but that’s most definitely not intentional.

Labrador (EN): A type of tea -> Yes, yes, dog. But this actually is a rather fitting name, seeing how labrador tea is often used to make medicine. Also, this name was likely chosen because when shortened as "Lab," it's "Rabu" in Japanese, which also means "love". But you probably noticed that already.

Profe / Prophe (EN): From “prophet” ->  Written as 預魂 in Japanese, meaning “soul of prophecies”.

Castor

Xínglù (CN - 行路): To travel -> Referencing his desire to travel with Lazette.

Hausen (GR): To dwell (negative connotation) -> He wasn’t very happy living in the Hausen House, was he? And yes, “Hausen House” is hilarious.

Castor (LA): Beaver -> From Castor and Pollux in Greek mythology, in which one twin dies and the other shares his life energy with him to keep him alive, referencing what Castor does with Lazette.

Fest (GR): Firm -> Referencing the firmness of the bonds they create. Written as 繋魂 in Japanese, meaning “connecting soul”.

I don’t want this post to cover even more of your dashboard, so you can find the rest of the names under the cut!

Mikage

Mikage (JP - 御影[石]): Granite, spirit of the dead, honorable shadow -> The dead meaning is a bit on the nose, isn’t it? His name is actually short for Mikageishi, which means granite-- all Celestine family members have rocks and minerals as their names! The shadow part of his name reflects how he is always by Teito's side despite being dead, and the darkness of a shadow contrasts the whiteness of Hakuren's name.

Celestine (FR): Heavenly -> With names like these, poor Mikage was destined to die early... This is also the name of a mineral, thus matching the first names of family members. Kohaku (琥珀) means amber, Rinka[iseki] (燐灰[石]) means apatite, Kokuyou[seki] (黒曜[石]) means obsidian, and Kairen[seki] (灰簾[石]) means zoisite.

Hakuren

Hakuren (JP - 白蓮): White magnolia -> Another name for this plant is Gyokuran! Name twins! Ouka and her helpers are all named after flowers, and Hakuren and Gyokuran are no exception. Also, as mentioned above, the “white” meaning of Hakuren's name contrasts the “shadow” meaning of Mikage's name.

Oak (EN): Name of a tree -> Oak trees are traditionally seen as sacred in Europe and in some stories about Christianity, reflecting the prestigious nature of the family.

Ouka

Roseamanelle: ? 

Ouka (JP - 桜花): Cherry blossom -> Named after a flower like her helpers (Kikune [菊根] means “root of chrysanthemum” and Ooruri[sou] [大瑠璃[草]] means “cynoglossum”). “Ouka” was also the name of a warship used in WW2, which is a trend amongst characters related to the Barsburg military. And let’s reiterate the Teiou thing, shall we?

Barsburg: ?

Capella

Capella (LA): Small goat -> Capella is the name of the brightest star in the Auriga consellation. Another name for Auriga is "Almaaz," which is also the name of the mansion Capella now lives in with his mom. "A capella" is a type of "church-style" music, referencing Capella journeying with two bishops.

Lance

Rance (EN): A type of marble -> This one truly breaks my heart. Yes, his name is almost definitely not Lance. “Lance” is written in katakana as ランス, but his name is written as ランセ. His name is referencing his backstory... because he turns into marble. Get it? I’m so sorry you guys.

Relikt (GR): Relic -> Written in Japanese as 遺魂, which means “soul of relics”.

Ayanami

Crowell (EN): A stream of crows -> Sadly not “Krowell”.

Ayanami (JP - 綾波): Twilled wave -> Fitting the trend of Barsburg military personnel being named after warships used in WW2.

Verloren (GR): Lost

Hyuuga

Hyuuga (JP - 日向): Sunny spot -> Fits his personality rather well, but it’s also yet another WW2 battleship name. Also, Hyuuganatsu is an alternate name for the fruit Konatsu.

Konatsu

Konatsu (JP - 小夏): Small summer -> Konatsu is the name of a sweet citric fruit, despite all other citric fruits native to Japan being bitter and almost inedible. This is referencing Konatsu being the only human in his family and the Black Hawks, who are all Warsfeils. As mentioned above, an alternate name for this fruit is Hyuuganatsu. Also, the summer meaning of "natsu" matches the spring meaning of "Haru[se]"

Warren: ?

Kuroyuri

Kuroyuri (JP - 黒百合): Kamchatka fritillary -> A flower associated with being cursed, but also with love! This references how Kuroyuri is a good child at heart but feared by people for being a Warsfeil. The "Kuro" part of their name is usually masculine while the "Yuri" part is feminine, giving the name an overall genderless feeling, reflecting Kuroyuri's refusal to reveal or talk about their gender.

Haruse

Haruse (JP - 春?): Spring+? -> Every name in the series is written in katakana, so we don't know what the kanji characters in his name are. My bet is on 春瀬, but who knows. Regardless, the spring meaning of "Haru" matches the summer meaning of "[Ko]natsu".

Katsuragi

Katsuragi (JP - 葛城): Arrowroot castle -> Yet another name fitting the WW2 battleship trend.

Landkarte (GR): Map -> Referencing their ability to teleport. Written as 消魂 in Japanese, meaning “disappearing soul”. 

Karu

Karu: ?

Er (GR): Awakening -> Short for “erwachen”. This was a headache and a half, and it’s still nothing but a guess, but what got me to this conclusion is that in Japanese, their name is written as 醒魂, which means “awakening soul”. I’m not sure what awakening has to do with the book of hell, though. So yes, guess it’s not Ea after all?

Shuri

Shuri (JP - 首里): Name of a famous castle -> I have no idea why some people think his name is written as “Shuuri”...

Yukikaze

Yukikaze (JP - 雪風): Blizzard, snowy wind -> Also fits the WW2 battleship trend. Snow is used as a reference to Yukikaze throughout the story.

Suzu & Yuki

Suzunami (JP - 鈴波): Bell wave -> Let me start by saying that the name “Suzunami” is not used in the canon manga-- it’s only in Begleiter, the second pilot chapter. His canon name is Suzu, which just means “bell”. Suzunami, however, is the name of a battleship used in WW2.

Yukinami (JP - 雪波): Snowy wave -> Like “Suzunami”, “Yukinami” isn’t a canon name either. His canon name is Yuki, meaning “snow”. Yukinami is a mixture of Yukikaze and Ayanami's names, since the chapter Begleiter explored Yukinami's relationship with Ayanami as his first assistant after losing Yukikaze.

Eve

Eve (EN): Life -> The easiest name of all! It’s referencing Eve from the Bible! Wow!

Kreuz

Ver (GR): A prefix indicating an action has had negative consequences or has since come to an end -> This is my best guess...

Kreuz (GR): Cross -> He was born to be a bishop.

Vertrag (GR): Contract -> Referencing their ability to make contracts with people to manipulate their souls. Written in Japanese as 契魂, “soul of contracts”.

Chrom

Veldeschtein / Weldeschtein -> Possibly a reference to Willem van de Velde the Elder & the Younger, who both painted warships. Chrom often painted in his free time.

Chrom (GR): Chrome -> Yes, it’s not Krom. I know we all like the way Krom-Kreuz-Krowell look similar, but they’re sadly not accurate...

Michael

Michael (EN): Name of an archangel -> Michael is the archangel depicted as the great protector of all that is good. Referencing Teito's duty as the pilgrim of Seele. Also, it’s apparently not “the Eye of Michael”, but “the Eyes of Michael”. At least that’s how Amemiya and Ichihara wrote in on their website seven years ago, if memory serves right.

Raphael

Raphael (EN): Name of an archangel -> Raphael is the archangel depicted as the divine healer. Referencing Ouka's healing zaiphon and wish to become a doctor.

Lazette

Lazette / Razette / write it however you want, honestly (Raggs): Songstress -> A 100% made up name! Its meaning and origin were revealed in the Hausen Family drama CD.

[tangledbea]

Can you rank the 9 40min + episodes( including before ever after and plus et en vouz)

I'm going to rank these based on initial reaction, both my own and the fandom's, and give a bit of a description as to why I put it where I did. Note that this order doesn't necessarily reflect the order in which I find them the most entertaining to watch.

Destines Collide - I feel like, in terms of what people were anticipating by this point in the series (we all knew someone would betray Rapunzel, there was the theory about Eugene being the Dark Prince flying around, we wanted to know what would happen when Rapunzel touched the Moonstone, etc), this episode was the most satisfying to watch.

Queen For a Day - I remember watching this episode with a sense of "Oh, god, I know none of these people are going to die here, but by god, are they giving me a heart attack watching them go through all this!" And then the ending, where Varian goes villain? MWAH! *chef's kiss* Fantastic storytelling.

Rapunzel and the Great Tree - This episode introduced the concept of the Reverse Incantation, as well as really gave us fodder for Cassandra's eventual betrayal. And even though a lot of these major plot points were eventually brushed under the rug, at the time, they were such a huge deal and sparked so much debate in the fandom.

Cassandra's Revenge - While I find this the most satisfying portrayal of Cassandra as a villain, it doesn't change the fact that the whole time I was wishing she'd just stay committed to the bit instead of being wishy-washy. Still, it has the reveal of Eugene's birthday and age, and Rapunzel wanting to propose to Eugene, not to mention that absolutely epic battle, and proof positive that "Enchanted Girl" was indeed Zhan Tiri, in case anyone still had any doubts.

Tangled: Before Ever After - The one that started it all, and the episode I've seen the most times. Did you know I watched it literally eleven times the day after it aired? I watched it live the night before, then just ran it On Demand all day the next day. I do have some complaints with a few things, but overall, it got us going. It gave us a reason (sort of) for the hair to return, and it was just so nice to see my baes (and their animal sidekicks) again.

Beyond the Corona Walls - My dudes, I cannot explain how shook up the New Dream fans were to learn that Eugene had been previously engaged, and for those of us who know Chuck (the series) to have found out that Yvonne Strahovski was going to be playing her. This was the third party interference that so many had been waiting for. Not to mention, Rapunzel was finally getting to see the world, at last! Very important!

Secret of the Sundrop - You would not believe how much Rapunzel forgiving Frederic and never getting to bring up his gross invasion of privacy did to sour my mood for a big chunk of this episode. Also, by the time it aired, I wasn't particularly invested in Varian's arc (due to overexposure). I was, however, extremely interested to see how Rapunzel was standing up for herself and not just letting Frederic keep her locked away. I loved seeing her actually harness the power of the black rocks and control them. I loved the wall breaking, even though she hadn't directly told the rocks to do it. "Ready As I'll Ever Be" became such a phenomenon, it brought a lot of people to the series who hadn't even heard of it because it was suggested on YouTube.

Rapunzel's Return - I spent the majority of my first watch-through of this episode angry. I really, really hate that Gothel is Cassandra's mother, and the fact that they not only made that canon, but made that the focal point of her betrayal really pissed me off and soured my mood for most of the episode. It's good, though, it really is. Varian's redemption was a little rushed, but was still satisfying, and I like that he came to the conclusion on his own that he was in the wrong. I also like that Rapunzel got to tell him what I'd been saying for a year or so (and still am).

Plus Est En Vous - I'm not going to lie; by the time this episode aired, I was very ready for the series to be over. There's a lot - and I mean a lot - that I actively dislike about it. There are also several good points in it for me, though, but most of them are moments at best, rather than entire scenes. The best part is literally the very end. If it hadn't ended on the proposal, I probably wouldn't like this episode. I will always have the fond memory of having watched it with @kelseyfitzherbert, though. She came to visit me just for the finale, but of course we also went to Disneyland the day before and got New Dream hugs, and we got tattoos together later that day (they don't match, but they are both Tangled-related). So the events surrounding this episode, I'm very fond of, while the episode itself, not so much.

[frankbedbroken]

still thinking about this album.

beyond the fact that this is the exact brand of post-hardcore and alt rock that i tend to enjoy (relationship of command by at the drive in is one of my favourite records ever and this definitely goes for that same vibe musically, also moments like zanjón de la aguada recall deftones during the saturday night wrist era), this just feels like an incredibly important album to me in terms of what's being portrayed and said throughout. cortacalles as a whole is a poignant and harsh portrait of collective trauma and anger after decades of political oppression, and it feels frighteningly relevant in a climate where fascism is rearing its head more than ever. it's a heartbreaking reminder of the atrocities committed under pinochet's dictatorship during the 70s and early 80s, but also the worryingly recent acts of repression directed at the youth, performed by law enforcers during piñera's presidency just a couple of years back. even as a non-chilean, a lot of the lyricism in this feels extremely resonant to what latin america has gone through as a whole. el barco de teseo, the album's opener, deals with what a lot of families around latin america are still suffering through: the fact of not knowing what happened to their loved ones, who from one day to the next were taken away by military forces, never to be seen again by anyone, said to be "disappeared". this theming is also present in the title track, which despite its short length manages to be one of the most heartrending moments in the whole album, the fact that lines like "¿donde crees que están mis niñitos? / la verdad es que no lo sé" (where do you think my children are? / to be honest, i don't know) manage to pack so much meaning, so much sadness and despair in the face of uncertainty, speaks volumes to eduardo pavez' skills as a songwriter. the theme of remembrance is extremely important, not just to remember the things we've experienced as oppressed societies so we're not doomed to repeat them, but to remember those who have been forcefully stripped away from us, so that they keep living in our collective memory while we head into a possibly brighter future, and to be able to protect those around us in the face of adversity lest they suffer the same fate. "arma armaduras para protegernos / y nadie bailará sobre nuestros muertos" (make armor to protect us / and nobody will dance over our dead ones). there's probably going to be a barrier for entry for a lot of people if you don't know spanish, but i feel like it's necessary for whoever listens to this album to properly understand and digest the lyrics, otherwise you are missing a key part of the experience, so keep a lyric sheet nearby in case you need it. as i said, this is, to me, an extremely important album, and one of my favourites from this year. i'm glad i came across it because it's absolutely necessary to have albums like this. it deserves all the praise it can get.

"mira la plaza pintada encima intentando borrar la caída del mito del individuo las paredes que rayamos una y otra vez recordando nuestros muertos sus rostros repetidos hasta el infinito pegados en todas las paredes nos miran sin sonrisas porque saben a donde vamos hacia adelante avanzando siempre con la porfía de la memoria por delante con la porfía de la memoria por delante" - ciudad abierta

[yostresswritinggirl]

If you're plate isn't too full, can I request a couple of fluffy hc's about Albedo with a photographer! s/o? Like, his s/o enjoys taking pictures of the environment and etc, and even take pictures of Albedo whenever he just does stuff, and Albedo enjoys sketching then whenever they just do a whole picture spree- they even exchange pictures too

Yes, my plate is too full and I'm confused why you guys don't see the request closed thingy in my description. But does it look like I care? No, I miss writing for Albedo and you're getting Albedo NOW-

Sepia Times

Albedo with a Photographer!S/O headcanons/scenarios... (event masterlist)

Ever since Fontaine released their newest device called Kamera, you had been so adamant in getting ahold of one that you ended up going on a travel spree to the said nation. Not even waiting for the shipment to Mondstadt, you left a quickly written note of your whereabouts before you left.

Spontaneous as ever, Albedo thought to himself as his grip on the note tightens with worry.

Luckily, three days later, you hailed from the Hydro Archon's land with your newest prized possession in hand. Triumphant and giddy, both of your lives changed drastically from there.

Albedo first and foremost, almost dismantled your Kamera. Actually he may have already done so behind your back, he was just caught the last time. He was really curious of its machinations and wanted to reverse engineer it.

He only ever lived because he was fast enough to reassemble it and show you that it still works. If not, you were already charging at him to throw hands. You did not travel for three days just for the Kamera to be broken. Whether he found what he was looking for or not, he's not allowed to touch it until he gets his own when the supply reaches Mondstadt.

Knowing your excitement, Albedo takes a sudden day off to accompany you in your Kamera spree, his own canvas and easel under his arm to also channel his artistic energy.

In just a day you managed to take 20 pictures, about to run out of film in just a day. Everytime you snap a picture, you gravitate to where Albedo is stationed to show off what you got like a crow and its shiny rocks. He finds it very endearing, stating his honest honey-covered opinion that makes you overjoyed enough to energize you to snap another, better picture.

The Alchemist sees the appeal of the Kamera and how immediate the replication of the image is. But he still glorifies the art of painting. He may not be able to capture constantly moving subjects but he can capture any detail he wants emphasized unlike the limited rasterization of a photo like that.

He watches you from afar as you skip over to different places and objects, face blooming with wonder as you position your device to snap. He dons a smile when you pull out the photo and wait for the image to materialize, and produce a chuckle when you sprint over to him to show the product. It's like your routine you developed in just a day.

So at times when he needs it the most, he will steal borrow your Kamera to snap a quick picture of something fast moving that he needs to observe immediately or wish to sketch/paint in detail in the future. One of the photos he had hidden for himself had a picture of you in your natural photographer environment as you dash around to look for a scene to capture while you wait.

What's it for? Well he made it into a more intricate painting during his spare time, presenting it to you with the little image taped at the top right corner. It was so beautiful that when outsiders were to see it after they were granted to access his office/laboratory, they always ask for the price for it. Something he adamantly refuses with the coldest glare the Alchemist can make. The negotiations usually end there.

Whenever he was far and you couldn't follow, like Dragonspine for example (the Kamera was still in development so cold temperatures might risk both the device and the processing), you always send him a picture for his thoughts. Either by asking Sucrose, Timaeus or the Traveler if they were en route to his camp, of course.

As you send one to him daily, Albedo started to look forward to your little mail every time. They range from very beautiful sights he hasn't seen before, images of the people of Mond who looks to be greeting him, or of you and the things that would remind him of you.

He keeps a haphazardly strewn journal for it, and in his camp was a board of his favorite picks, and all images of you are tacked on it. The Traveler enjoys watching his cold teal eyes light up whenever he brings the daily image, watching the picture board grow as Albedo tacks the latest one in with obvious pride and joy.

When he comes back to Mond, he brings with him his most beautiful piece from Dragonspine. You'd know it's special because everything is painted in detail, even the most unimportant parts of it. It's his gift for your little photo exchange and you have it put up on wall somewhere in your house.

When he gets his own Kamera, it was his turn to drag you to his photography spree. A little one-sided competition happens between you two where you try to one up the quality of his pictures, sometimes successful and sometimes you don't really... understand what he's doing, as he captures the strangest images.

Albedo uses his solar isotoma when you want to use it for better angles. Very supportive, as you'd hear a snap from beneath as you position your own Kamera.

The whole of Mond muses at both of your antics; as you two would most likely do the finger frame thingy impulsively when seeing something worth the attention, the people around you would chuckle at how cute you two looked, focused on your own little world.

He always gifts you extra films or anything related to photography when he can. Since he barely has time to go out sometimes, he has many backup gifts in bulk to whip out if ever he wants to pamper you with his material affection. Albedo is hyperaware of your hyperfixation and will always bring films the moment you run out, like foresight.

You can barely understand Albedo, despite the closeness you two had, he was still an enigma in most occasions. This was one of them. He had been binging on photography lately and everytime you look through the photos he captured, it didn't really make sense. The most random pictures that you wouldn't even dare use a film on strewn here and there, sometimes the photo is even cut off, and you'd think it was a mistake until he started organizing them in a system only he knows.

When you finally gathered up the courage to ask what all of it was about for, you were given a smile as cryptic as his album.

But as he pulls your hand with an excitement you've only seen when his chemical solution produces the expected buff, you somehow deduced that today would be the day you'd find out what the heck he was up to.

"It took longer than I expected it to be," he says as he starts unlocking a room in the Knights of Favonius HQ that you've never been in before, "but the end result was worth it."

Your confusion only grows as you were met with a face full of hanging pictures, most of it you recognize. Leaning over some and looking up on the higher ones, the amount of string and the confusing way they were set up, amazes you still with the amount of effort he had been using on such a big project.

Your untrained eyes loosely guess around 1000 films used for this.

The glass double doors that makes it way to the balcony opens loudly behind you. "Come here," you turn to see Albedo's silhouette open his arms against the setting sun behind him. "You're supposed to look at it from this distance." His arms engulfs you gently when you moved over, sending a gentle squeeze before he turns you back around to see the hanging pictures.

You gasp.

The depth and the splash of colors from this distance, aided with the sun, turned the hanging collage into an expertly placed collage as it shows you the bigger picture: a mold of your face of the first sketch Albedo made when you first met each other. The angles and colors measured to the dot to capture and replicate your beauty.

You feel his lips kiss the back of your head as you stared in awe.

Impromptu Albedo fluff yey

@albaedhoe @struggljng @heisenwurst @moaa @dandelion-dreams @witchsungie @lehra @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @snackgod @rxsalinee @cala-ran @wind-wheel @lilydewi22 @yellowflowre @traveler-lumine @nonniechan @creation-magician @hanniejji

[mx-metronome]

Sky Theory: The Light and The Darkness

A post about my thoughts on light, darkness, how they react to one another, and (possibly) what it all implies regarding the Eye of Eden. (Spoilers ahead!)

I wrote a post about the civilization we see rise and fall, but today we're going to delve a little deeper into how the story might really be going, from the conflict to the climax to a possible resolution.

To quote the game's story (from the updated Isle of Dawn):

"With the stars united, our light was infinite...and together, we lived in harmony."

It is well established that light is a valuable resource that the spirits relied on, and way back at the beginning, it was also a renewable one: Winged Light fell from the sky continuously, a symbol of innocence and purity as a gift from the Megabird. Because it was infinite, the spirits all flourished, and there was no squabbling over a scarcity.

"As spirits, we soon became many...creating our home here in the clouds."

Here is where the civilization really starts to grow, specifically in the Daylight Prairie stage. The spirits' needs are all met every day of every year. But somewhere down the line, their basic need wasn't enough for them anymore. As they grew in number, so too did they grow in curiosity and want.

"But darkness came and the stars fell...

This sentence here sums up the remainder of our story, although what take place over the course of this sentence is an entire age. Here's how I feel it goes down:

The darkness coming literally refers to darkstone being discovered, and how its potential in advancing the people tempts them away from the comfort of their infinite light. The spirits did not have the light ripped away from them: they chose the darkness over light and turned away willingly, severing themselves from the stars. The Winged Light stop falling and become a precious commodity.

So they toy with this newly discovered darkstone and find that it reacts to light: as light is applied to any kind of darkness, it gives off energy, a rudimentary sort of power generation. There are several pieces of evidence to confirm this:

Darkstone technology only activates when you apply your light to it.

In fact, whenever you activate a darkstone door in the Hidden Forest, you recharge a little bit of cape energy, suggesting excess energy is produced in the reaction.

Darkness plants, when exposed to light, are used up in the process (as they are less dense than darkstone), but they release candle wax in the reaction, a concentrated form of energy.

However, as mentioned above, you need light for the darkness to be of any use to advancements, and now that supply is finite. The spirits must now find alternate sources of light, and the only source available to them at this time is the creatures of light.

The prairie begins transporting butterflies en masse to the forest to be broken down, and their light is channeled through their dark machinations to keep things running. As the butterflies become scarce, they look to mantas instead, and so on.

The civilization continues to grow and with it their demand for light, but the supply continues to dwindle. The scarcity of light is now threatening the people, and an ultimatum must be reached. They need a reliable, renewable source of power, one that can run almost indefinitely, so the King has one built, for the future of his people and their way of life. That's right: the Eye of Eden was never a weapon, but a near-infinite energy source, like a nuclear plant.

The finest engineers gather at the capital city and splice together mass quantities of darkstone into one megalith, only requiring enough light to kickstart a chain reaction. The reaction would cause a feedback loop: the energy emitted by the light-dark reaction would be enough light to perpetuate the reaction for an extended period of time, and any excess energy can be harvested or siphoned off and used to power the grid.

The people have spread far and wide and into different factions, each jealously guarding what little light they have left, knowing the King has intent to seize it. Skirmishes turn into battles turn into a full scale war. The desperation of each front has them all take the glorious darkness and turn it into weapons, and in this production of arms the people are failing to realize the true long-term side effects of utilizing darkness: pollution.

The weapons are produced as close to the front lines as the people could safely manage, hence the heavy pollution in the Golden Wasteland, just outside the capital. The water becomes thick and near impossible to sail through; the light from the light creatures begins to react to the darkness in the air and water, hence the presence of krill and dark crabs twisted by the corrupting dusts. The people try to infiltrate the capital city to seize the light that the King was hoarding. Perhaps some of the elders were even privvied to the King's plan and were working to defend him to save their own factions of people. Perhaps some of the elders even fought each other over differing ideals regarding the new generator.

As a last-ditch effort, the King moves the generator to as close to the sky as he can in a futile attempt to harness the holy light of the stars they had turned away from ages before. He hopes that the reaction will reach high enough to begin drawing in star power, slowly draining the heavens to keep his people alive.

He gathers any light left in the capital city and sends it through the machine, and the reaction kicks off in an instant. The power is greater than the engineers had calculated, and it is too great for them to harness; the wave of energy is massive enough to wipe out most of the denizens in the city within the first few seconds. The displacement of energy creates fierce winds and kicks up poisonous dust clouds, even scooping up entire bricks and boulders and flinging them through the air.

The mighty capital begins to crumble under the weight of this blazing light, and the flinging rocks tear down surrounding cities, picking up more debris as it grinds away at buildings. The dark dusts scatter across the land, settling over what few survivors remain, reacting to their inner Light and encasing them in stone, leaving them with no light left to return to Orbit whence they came.

The people had fallen to the darkness and its powerful properties, using up all their precious light to maintain their mortal existence. Now there is no light left and no way home. All that is left of their existence is husks of darkness, broken bones of old cities, and a radioactive storm with an unholy hybrid of light and darkness at it center that will run its course for thousands of years more.

"...and with their light we faded away."

...But not without one last plea.

"A long time has passed. Now we call to you."

In their last few moments, some groups of people, those who still had faith that they'd rejoin the stars, began to pray. They stated prophecies, chanted incantations into the sky, erected shrines with candles, hoping that their selfless offerings of light would grant them grace. That somehow Megabird would hear their cries and send them a chance at redemption, a chance at attaining Her inner Light once again.

And so the Megabird sent down the Winged Light again, hoping it would be enough to begin healing the land. But She did not quite understand the inner workings of this darkness, for it was beyond Her: this Light was fragile, and couldn't stand up against the darkness that swallowed the sky. She needed a vessel able to carry this Light safely into the heart of darkness where Her people slumbered.

So She learned of the darkness and how it cancelled out Light, and in response, she created the first sky kids.

"Go forth, child. Return our spirits to the stars."

Sky kids are different from spirits in many ways. Firstly, spirits are also creatures of light in that they originate from Orbit. It was their go-to source of energy and sustenance. But that connection between the spirits and all the light they'd ever need was so easily broken by the want that darkness produced, and their sensitivity to this darkness made them fall prey easily when it fell out of control.

By contrast, sky kids were created as instruments of the Megabird, shells carrying Her fragile Light within. They are not beings of pure light, but that's the point: they were designed to withstand darkness, and granting them a corporeal form provides more protection for Her Light from darkness than otherwise.

So the first sky kids go and deliver their inner Light to what fallen spirits they can find. The elders see the coming of the sky kids as Megabird's answer to their pleas, as Her Light is within them, and as the sky kids present their Light to the elders, they are able to reconnect with the stars and send up the spirits freed from darkness. So begins the pilgrimage back to Orbit, spearheaded by an army of children.

The first sky kids free some of the spirits and then head to the capital where light and darkness collide, the point nearest the stars. Megabird's intent was for the collected Winged Light in the hands of the sky kids to be enough pure Light to dispel the storm, but the darkness is too great, and as the Light was torn from them, they had no Light left to keep away the darkness, and they fell at the summit with no way of returning to Her.

So She sent more sky kids, thinking greater numbers would aid Her will. But two things began to happen, things She did not foresee: the sky kids, blank slates with no discernable emotions or features, learned from the spirits they saved: they learned how to wave hello, they learned how to laugh, how to cry, how to cheer, and so on. They even began taking on some of the fashions from the spirits! They presented individuality, suggesting that Megabird's Light was more than just pure Light: it was also a soul in its own right, much like the spirits that came before.

The second thing that happened was at the summit of the Eye of Eden, as it came to be called: when the sky kids realized their Winged Light wouldn't survive the Storm, they passed it on to fallen sky kids instead so that they may ascend back to Orbit and rejoin Megabird, at the cost of their own ascension. This soul of Light each sky kid carried not only established a personality, but also compassion, as Her Light was always meant to do. Sky kids were drawn to one another, and they started to work like teams and help one another out. They gave each other offerings of light as symbols of friendship and acceptance, not unlike the spirits' desperate offerings of light and candles to Megabird.

The Eye of Eden is the purest, most powerful light colliding with the purest, most potent darkness, which makes it an ideal euphemism for death: suffering and then release. It is the door to Orbit, but their possessions - their Winged Light - will be left behind. They only carry their deeds in their darkest time, which they are rewarded for after the fact.

When they came to Orbit at last, Megabird lauded them for their sacrifice and kindness, and invited them to remain with Her. But many of them expressed distress and dismay for all the sky kids still down in the clouds that needed help, and all the friends that they would miss. So She sent them back with two boons: additional Light granted by the spirits they helped ascend, and the knowledge needed to guide other sky kids back to Her.

Even if not everyone would rejoin Her in the Light, it brought Her comfort that Her Light was spread across an aching kingdom, sharing hope and peace to those who couldn't be near to Her.

[chubbybuckydumpling]

Hello, having seen your requests are open, I would like to request your thoughts on

Andy Barber and Reader going on vacation together for the first time (rating up to you)

A Much Needed Vacation

words: 2.5k

pairing: Andy Barber x female Reader

warnings: mentions of smut, implied smut, fluff

A/n: I don’t know why I struggled so much with this, I hope it’s okay. I’m so nervous (because I really want to impress @slothspaghettiwrites ) pray for me please! :)

My Masterlist

Andy had always had trouble making and keeping friends. He had a couple of colleagues and acquaintances, but a true friend he could confide in? Not really no, his past trauma and toxic habit of keeping all his emotions bottled up made him seem arrogant and standoffish.

But then you came along. You, with your perfect smile and golden heart and the patience of an angel. No matter what Andy tried, how distant he acted, you wouldn’t budge. The opposite actually. His behaviour intrigued you and the way he made your thighs clench by only looking at you added to his appeal.

So when you regrettably went to go for a swim in the morning because you felt too exhausted yesterday evening and saw this delicious piece of man in just a pair of trunks? You knew it was time to get that man to become yours.

You situated yourself at the end of the lane Andy was using, thighs spread and calves dunked in the cool water, your swimsuit tight around your body. A smirk plays on your lips as you watch the man of your desire move closer to you until his hand hits the edge of the pool and his head pops up.

You can see from his expression that he did not expect to come face to face with your crotch, eyes wide under his goggles and mouth agasp. He panted heavily and took off his glasses, beard and hair wet, a few droplets running from his forehead. ”Hey, Andy. What are you doing here so early?”, you asked with a smile.

He struggled staying in one spot, because you were blocking the edge with your thighs, hindering him from holding himself up. Grinning, you reached for his hand and placed it on your leg. Andy’s had snapped up to stare at you in shock, yet his fingers tightened around your flesh to keep him steady.

“I like when it’s empty in the mornings. Fewer disturbances”, he answered and lowered his gaze. Now he was right back to watching your crotch and a delicious blush covered the apples of his cheeks. Quickly he glanced to the side to try and be respectful.

You pouted and splashed some water with your foot, “Am I disturbing you?”. Andy squeezes your thigh erratically, “No, absolutely not. It’s a real pleasure that you’re here”, he responded a little too eager, which he must have realised because he started to backpaddle, “I mean that in a really respectful way not that I get off on this or something. That’d be weird”

You raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing on your lips, “Not that you’re weird, you’re obviously very attractive and beautiful, not that I’ve been watching you, bu-“, your giggles interrupted him. With a loving gaze you cupped his face, “Wanna race?” Confused, Andy agreed, but before he could part from you, you pulled his face close to yours.

His breath was fanning over your lips and you could perfectly make out all the flecks and shades of blue in his beautiful eyes, “Will you take me on a date if I win?”

You’re very glad you got Andy to open up to you, especially now that you’ve been dating for ten months. Never before have you felt this happy so consistently and even though Andy still struggles with fully discussing his feelings and thoughts, you think that he has been sharing your excitement. You’ve become his rock, the one constant in his life, the shoulder he leans one. In return he treats you with the utmost respect and love. There wasn’t a moment where you didn’t feel like a queen in his care.

Sadly, you couldn't spend as much time with him as you wanted, his work as an assistant district attorney taking up most of his time.Of course that didn’t hinder your growing love for the man, but it left you feeling lonely a lot, particularly because your occupation as an architect allows you to work from home quite a bit.

Once you moved together, you felt slightly more connected to your boyfriend. Falling asleep in his arms every night and waking up with kisses being peppered all over your face was like a dream come true. For the first few weeks, you were in a constant state of bliss, cooking and providing for Andy while he kept you happy and satisfied. Soon enough however, Andy received a new case to work on and your fairytale vision was destroyed. The reality of life settled in and your rose coloured glasses were ripped away.

You still enjoyed living with your boyfriend, every time you saw him, butterflies erupted in your belly, still do, you just wished you could spend more time with him. Never before have you been so in love with somebody. All of Andy’s little quirks and ticks had you weak in your knees. The way he acted so delicate and gentle, especially around you, while his muscles were bulging. To see this huge, sculpted man be so caring and soft made you feel all kinds of things.

But it must have been your lucky day when Andy came home early with a big smile on his face. “Sugar, the case is closed. You’ve got me all to yourself for the next three weeks”, his arms open for you to fall into with loud giggles. “For real?”, you asked, excitement bubbling in your chest, “Yes, for real, honey!”, he grinned and pulled you closer, his beard scratching against the delicate skin of your cheeks as he pressed his lips to your temple.

You’re currently sitting next to Andy on a flight to “You’ll like it, I promise”. Your head rests on his shoulder, eyes closed peacefully. His breathing calms you down and even managed to lull you into a deep slumber. He’s been reading some kind of book and occasionally glanced over to you, checking if you’re doing alright. The flight has been quite calm, smoothly flying over the clouds.

The first class seats are a blessing, the constant stream of food that’s been given to you and the extra leg room added to the whole level of comfort. Andy’s warmth makes you feel very small and cuddly, his muscular frame a stark contrast to your softer, smaller form; a thing that you’ve come to appreciate quite a lot.

“Did you have a nice nap, honey?”, his deep voice rumbles as one of his hands moves to cradle your face. You nod and cuddle yourself further into your boyfriend’s chest, his distinctive smell consumes you as you continue to practically melt into his side. “We’ll land shortly, shortcake. Are you ready to find out where we're going?”, he asks into your hair and nuzzles his nose into your scalp. A loud yawn escapes your mouth, “I guess. I’m just happy to be with you again”, you whisper and turn to face him.

Of all the places Andy could have picked, he chose this particular place, because he knew you would love all the new experiences and adventures it would bring. He’s aware that you love to experience new things with all of your senses, how you become so excited whenever you discover a new smell or feel a foreign fabric under your fingers, the way your eyes glaze over when you spot a novel view or an object of interest. The way you grin when a new taste warms your body, there’s nothing that Andy loves more than seeing you beam with such childlike joy.

“You’re taking me to Marrakesh? No way”, you gasp, suddenly awake. The grin on your boyfriend’s face mirrors your own as excitement courses through your veins. “I’ve never been to Morocco before! Or Africa!”, you stare at him for a split second before your head whips to the other side. The window doesn’t suffice with your sudden hunger to explore the city, you can barely make out any landmarks. Yet you can’t stop squirming in your seat. The wanderlust has fully taken over and you latch onto Andy’s arm, giggling uncontrollably.

Your laughter is infectious and soon your boyfriend is cackling next to you, desperately trying to silence himself when he sees the man next to him staring at the both of you with a death glare. If looks could kill.

The next two hours pass in a blur. Andy maneuvered you through the airport safely and carried most of the luggage as your eyes were trained on the different people that moved past you. The drive to the hotel was no different, your nose practically glued to the window, “Look, Andy, look!”. He entertained you, of course, and looked out of the window every time, a smile on his soft, pink lips, “Good job, shortcake. Did you take a picture?”. The check-in went smoothly, all of your bags stored safely in your room.

You’re sitting on the softest king size bed ever, anxiously waiting for your boyfriend to finish up in the bedroom. “Hurry up, please. I can’t wait to get out to see more of this place”, you shout, phone in your hand to take a picture for your family. “Relax, honey! The sights won’t run away”, he responds with a chuckle. His deep timbre makes goosebumps arise all over your arms. All your excitement must have caused an increase in your blood flow to your lady parts.

With a shake of your head you try to rid yourself of these thoughts. The attempt fails horrendously once Andy comes out of the en suite. His loose, unbuttoned shirt and the form fitting shorts make you weak in the knees. Your boyfriend is just that handsome. The thought of ripping his trousers from his body dissipates quickly when he asks if you’re ready to go see the souks. Hell yes, you are.

The sun is setting while you and Andy overlook the Jemaa el-Fnaa from your table on the restaurant’s balcony. An almost empty plate of cake between you and your boyfriend. He’s holding your hand on the table, gently tracing your knuckles with his thumb. “How’d you like your first day, honey?”, he asks gently, affection clearly shimmering in his eyes.

“I loved it! I don’t know what I liked most? Everything is so interesting and beautiful”, you jump in your chair, giggling happily. “I loved all the different little shops in the bazaar! I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many different foods and clothes in one place and everything smelled so good. I really loved all the spices, we should make something like this at home!”

“What, a whole wall filled with spices?”, he snorts, shaking his head, the smile never leaving his face, “I think we should leave the colossal spice walls in the souks”. A pout forms on your lips, but the squeeze of Andy’s hand makes you melt back into your blessed state. “I really loved all the different things they sold. I’m sure you could find about everything there”, Andy pieces the last piece of cake and holds it up to your mouth. You open up to reach for it, but he pulls the fork away just efore you get to it, “Andy!”, you whsiper yell at the grin on his lips.

“What’s the matter honey?”, he asks sweetly, a mischievous glint in his eyes. You playfully glare at him, smirking, “Are you sure you want to play this kind of game, Mr. Barber?”. He nods at you like you’re being his bratty teen, in need for some serious attitude control, “Don’t be all venomous, I don’t like snakes”. As soon as he spoke those words regret washed over his features, “Oh dear, here we go…”

“I can’t believe you’re scared of snakes! You’re the biggest man I know and you’re terrified of snakes!”, you burst out with laughter, tears forming in your eyes. “I just didn’t want it to touch me”, he mumbles, arms crossed in front of his chest. “Please, Andy you should have seen your face. It was a tiny little snake”, you giggle and reach over the table to take his hand into yours again, but he doesn’t budge. “It was laying on your shoulders, it could have killed you!”, you keep trying to loosen up his arms, a few giggles still slipping out. You get out of your seat and move to your boyfriend, “The kind owner was standing right next to me, everything was fine”,

With a sigh, Andy opens his arms and pulls you on his lap. His beard tickles you as he places his head on your shoulder, gently kissing and lapping at your neck, “I just want you to be safe”.

You cuddle further into his warmth, smiling at his overprotective manners, “I’ve got you with me, I don’t think I could be safer”.

A smile on your lips, you turn around to kiss him, his scent envelopes you with a sense of comfort. His soft mouth against your own, the setting sun warming you from the outside, the love and adoration coursing through you from the inside. It’s gentle, full of emotion as if he’s trying to put all his wasted feelings from when he was working so much into it. After a while you pull back, breathing heavily. Your hand cups his face and you run the other through his soft hair, a couple of knots tangling between your fingers.

“I love you, baby”, you whisper like you’re telling him a secret, “I love you too, honey”.  A warm breeze blows over you and you turn to watch over the place below you, the last rays of sun painting it in a delicious golden glow. “Let’s ask someone to take a picture of us. Our first day on our first ever vacation together”, you smile and press another kiss to his lips. “I’ll find someone, stay put”, Andy grins and squeezes your hips as a sign for you to move back into your seat.

You watch your boyfriend’s retreating figure, a happy flutter in your chest. You can’t believe that you’re on a beautiful vacation with your beautiful boyfriend and about to take a beautiful picture to glue into your memory book. Excited, you let the atmosphere envelope you, completely floating in all the different sounds and scents. It’s really peaceful, the loud and busy streets quiet for a change.

Andy’s voice coaxes you out of your trance, “You ready, sugar?”. The two of you stand in front of the balcony, his hands rest on your waist when he suddenly bows forwards, making you fall backwards in turn. With a gasp, you reach for his shoulders, holding onto his strong frame. His warm breath grazes your cheek as his blue eyes stare into your soul. You hear the camera clicking, but it’s faded into the background. The only thing you can focus on is your boyfriend and his enticing body, the exposed skin that’s glistening deliciously.

He leans even closer to you until his lips brush your ear, “I can’t wait to have you all alone tonight. Just you and me, finally”. You gulp at the list and arousal in his voice, thighs clenching at his tone, “I’ve been waiting for you all day”.

Safe to say your vacation with Andy was very satisfying.

.

.

Taglist: @teetles-and-other-stuff @winteralpine @slothspaghettiwrites @marvels-gurl @gotnofucks

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If you enjoyed my work, please consider leaving a reblog with feedback! It means the world to me. Your support keeps me going

Be added to my Taglist here.

[dingoat]

[So, @cinlat has been dabbling in a Sith au for her Fynta, with cameo slots available for various other characters to come hang out. And just the little bit of contemplation we had about where Ahuska might slot into this particular version of events, I wound up inspired enough to dabble with a scene! So welcome to an Ahuska who still wound up adopted into Mandalorian life, but has not forgotten/repressed her early years. Rather than their usual easy friendship, she and Fynta wind up butting heads more often than not and bumping into one another more than either would like. Apologies if I’ve gotten Fynta totally wrong, I will put up a disclaimer that I’m throwing this out here without any sort of proofing from Cinlat so she gets the final call as to the authenticity of this scene! I’ve also borrowed @askshivanulegacy’s Blakk for the ride, I think I needed a little cathartic fluff to counterbalance all the fluff-gone-wrong happening elsewhere hahahaha.]

‘Not on My Watch’ 

“I don’t know why you won’t just let me take a speeder…”

Ahuska lifted a hand to cut him off, raising a finger and shaking her head with a smile. It was no secret that the young bothan was soft for this particular Imperial Agent, even if her clanmates were quick to remind her that no self respecting human Kaas citizen would pursue anything more than a functional work relationship with her, a rudderless, stable-working alien. 

She chose not to listen to what her clanmates had to say.

“Because a speeder won’t pull back when it feels the ice getting too thin or warn you when you cross a wampa’s path, that’s why.”

Cipher Blakk rolled his eyes and pulled the zipper of his insulated parka higher, but it still wasn’t enough to keep his face properly protected from the frankly absurd level of chill. “It’s not as though I plan to park on an ice sheet…”

“Uh huh, and you’ll know exactly what’s under the two inch layer of snow that’s just fallen…”

He huffed, and she laughed, opening the stall door against which she was leaning to lead out the young tauntaun buck she already had saddled and haltered. “Quit fretting. Thunder here is a solid ride and a soft touch, he won’t give you any problems, and I’d trust him over any autopilot to get you safely back to base if something goes wrong.” Blakk felt some unexpected warmth rise in his cheeks, and while he wondered for the thousandth time why she cared so much that he got back safely, the buck lowered his head to snuffle through Ahuska’s hair. She raised a hand to give the tauntaun a firm rub on the cheek and horn. “Yeah, you’re a good boy aren’t you? You’ll be good for the Empire’s elite, won’t you? Won’t you my good soft woolly buddy…”

Ahuska’s ears flicked at the same moment as Thunder’s twitched, and a heartbeat later Blakk’s head turned as well, hearing the heavy rasp of an iron gate lifting. 

Ahuska had been stationed on the remote Hoth outpost for the last month and a half, more than enough time to get to know the sound of every latch and door in the stables, and the animals that spent their lives here knew them even better. Her sky blue eyes turned to ice as she squinted, staring down into the lower level. “Who… oh.”

Her lips turned to a tight, flat line as she recognised the figure down below, and the coolness in her expression was enough to prompt Blakk to lift a brow. “Ahh, is something the matter…?”

“We’ll see. What is she… oh, oh no, no no no…”

The Cipher suddenly found himself with a set of reins thrust into his hands, with Ahuska taking the liberty of closing his fingers around them and squeezing tight. “What… what are you…?”

“Hold him. Hold him tight and don’t let go for a second, distract him with this if you can…” She shoved a pinkish rock of some sort toward him, and with his hands full he was forced to stoop and hold it under his chin, expression nothing short of bewildered.

“I don’t… oh, gods no,” Blakk had the profound discomfort of realising then that it was a block of salt, as Thunder pressed forward with an eager little warble and began to lick at it. He made a tiny sound of dismay. “Ahuska…!”

But she was already gone, not even sticking around to have a snigger at his predicament, darting down the stairwell rather than waiting on one of the stocklifts. “Oi! Oi, di’kut, what’n Kad’s name do you think you’re doing---!!”

The object of Ahuska’s anger turned, unnaturally blue eyes flashing with irritation, and then immediately turned back to the stall door she’d been about to open.

“Don’t you dare touch that! Who the hell authorized you to be down here and what the shab d’you think you’re doing opening straight up into the yards?” Rather than heading straight toward the Sith, Ahuska veered to the far wall where a harsh wind blustered through the now gaping entry to the outdoor paddocks, and slammed her fist against a set of controls.

“This animal is… Shen-Four-Seven, isn’t it?” Fynta Wolfe, Assassin for Sith Intelligence and Infiltration, glared at the Bothan stablekeep who stood firm in the gateway, as though she could somehow block her passage while the heavy gate groaned back shut. She cut a strong silhouette against the glaring white world outside, framed with reflected light and fluttering snowflakes.

“Star, yeah, that’s her.” Ahuska’s tone was curt. She didn’t enjoy dealing with Fynta any more than she explicitly had to. Never mind that the Sith knew far more about her than Ahuska was comfortable with, but the fact that Fynta thought she could just slip on some beskar and mingle amongst the clans as though she weren’t an out-and-out Sith grated at her terribly. The nerves struck were just… a little too close to home.

“Then she’s the one I’ve been assigned while I’m on duty here. And since I’m not here to take riding lessons, I don’t see why I need to answer to you of all people, stablekeep.”

Ahuska bristled as the steel gate locked shut behind her, putting an abrupt halt to the chill wind. “Maybe ‘cause every last one of these animals has been assigned to me while I’m on duty here, and I don’t give a damn if you’re the Emperor himself, you don’t take one outside without my say-so. Not a taun, not a vulp, not a gods-damned arctic womp-weasel! So you can take your fingers off that latch and let me do my job, or you can deal with the shab’la stampede you’re about to let loose. It’s stable master, by the way.”

Fynta knew Ahuska wasn’t the type to lie for the sake of a power trip. The bothan’s conviction and ferocity at this moment was enough to give her pause and slowly arch a brow, though her tone was flat and unconvinced. “Stampede. You mean the whole three out in the main yard.”

“Mmm.” Ahuska’s tone was equally flat, but there was something smug about the way she lifted her chin and stared down the bridge of her muzzle toward the Sith. “Those three first, if Thunder up on the balcony doesn’t fling himself over to beat them to it.” She gestured upward and over her shoulder with a thumb, toward where Blakk diligently kept a firm but wary hold of the tauntaun buck Ahuska had left in his care. The agent swiftly averted his gaze when he realised attention had momentarily turned his way. “Then the seven in the exercise yards ‘cause let’s face it, those fences aren’t gonna stop a buck in rut, and maybe the dozen in the outer…”

“Excuse me?”

“Excuse what?”

“A buck in rut?”

“I said what I said. I know it doesn’t look much like the seasons change here on Hoth, but believe me, there are seasons, and we’re in the thick of one right now. Your little Star there…” Ahuska dipped her head toward the stall door that Fynta remained precariously close to opening, though to her credit her fingers were looser on the handle than they had been moments before. “Is a very, very appealing little lady at the moment. She gets lead out through the back to be worked in the yards on the south ridge or not at all, and when she’s being groomed and treated in here this gate…” She slapped the metal surface behind her with the back of her hand. “Stays shut! I wouldn’t even recommend her for a mission today or tomorrow unless you were absolutely certain of no wild herds en route and let’s face it, you can never be certain of that…”

Fynta hadn’t exactly paled, but she was definitely looking less confident about taking her assigned mount out onto the slopes.  She found herself feeling unwittingly grateful that the blasted bothan had been here to intercept her, and then an equal measure of furious at herself for feeling grateful at all. “Alright, alright, fierfek, just get me a more suitable animal ready as soon as you can, I’ve wasted enough time here already…”

“Of course, my Lord,” Ahuska’s grin was far too toothy, her flourished salute and bow far too exaggerated to be genuine. She enjoyed watching Fynta bite back her seething a little too much. “And let me know what shebs-for-brains gave you Star to begin with so I can have some words.”

“I’ll try to find out,” Fynta lied. No way in hell was she going to let Ahuska know that, in a bid to get herself in and out of Hoth as swiftly as possible, she might have forged a signature or two on a requisition document here and there, and arbitrarily assigned the tauntaun to herself. She straightened, stepping away from the stall, and stared Ahuska squarely in the eye. “I’ll be back in ten minutes. Don’t keep me waiting.”

She didn’t give Ahuska the opportunity to respond, making her way smartly off down a corridor. The bothan might come across as meek as a runt nerf calf most of the time, but Force be damned if she didn’t find a spine and a half where her animals were concerned. Fynta couldn’t decide whether she was impressed or irritated, and just found herself hoping that Ahuska would be able to find the same amount of backbone if anyone ever pressed her about matters that remained better left unspoken.

She really didn’t want to see another decent Mandalorian having their arm twisted into Imperial service.

Ahuska, meanwhile, had every intention of keeping Fynta waiting; she had another Agent of the Empire to finish dealing with first, and she wasn’t going to rush seeing Blakk and Thunder off soundly for the sake of a single agitated Sith. Her hackles were already smooth and the set of her ears fully relaxed by the time she made it back to the upper level, though the way Blakk’s wide-eyed gaze settled on her when she flashed him a grin threatened to dishevel her all over again.

“Didn’t give you any trouble, did he?”

“No, you were great- I mean he, he was great. Thunder was… great. Perfect. No trouble.”

Ahuska might have plenty of backbone when it mattered, but that didn’t stop certain moments making her utterly weak. She coughed into her hand, glancing aside as she took back the reins and returned the remains of the salt lick to her pocket. “Ahh, uh, right, good. Good! Where have you got your gear then? Better get him all loaded up for you.”

---

[And now a bonus for everyone who got this far, hahaha, have some zipped up Hoth geared little Imperials. Ahuska thinks they’re both ridiculous for complaining so much about the cold.]

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

KAORU&TOSHIYA INTERVIEW  BURRN!! OCTOBER 2020  2/2

‘Ochita koto no aru sora’ was released as the band’s first digital single ever. In the middle of what it seems to be nightmarish situation in which they can’t predict at all what’s lies ahead, what are the hopes and emotions that these 5 people put into this song?

Text by You Masuda “We are in a difficult position, aren’t we? How long should we wait? For example, if this situation continues next year, I feel like it’s going to be complicated for us.”

Notes before reading: This is the second part of the Kaoru and Toshiya interview done by You Masuda for BURRN!! October 2020 Issue released last September 4th. You can read the first part here.

You can support and get the magazine at Amazon Japan or CDJapan.

Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing parts. ------ (1st part here) -Once the video (‘The World of Mercy) is completed, it will become a big thing as well. However, since that song should have closed the flow of the 'The insulated world' in the first place, if it appears again in the future, it is possible that the flow becomes odd for some reason. K: That’s right. Originally, we were planning to complete the feeling of the album at Pia Arena. But actually, that’s not possible. Although we have to use this video for future activities, we have to think about what kind of presentation should be done for it. The song itself is a thing of the past, we can’t simply go like “we are publishing it (the video) for the people just because we made a clip”, it’s not interesting anymore. The heat of the enthusiasm has cool down a little. -In the meantime, the next single and its consequent video are coming out. But whatever the future is, you are about to start producing your next album.  Is the idea/concept already there? K: Well, little by little. Currently I don’t feel like we have many songs yet. From this month (August), we are supposed to start marking songs properly. -For example ’The World of Mercy’, will it be part of the next album? K: No, it won’t be included. After all, this song is the conclusion of ‘The insulated World'’. -In terms of discography, it will be a bit independent from the next album. T: I think it’s like that. In that sense, it will be like 'Ain't afraid to die'. (Note: This song is a single released in 2001 to conclude the flow from 'Macabre’ and is not included in any of the original albums.) K: Well, that's fine, right?  Probably we won’t need it for the next album (laughs) -No, of course, I'd be happy if there were as many new songs as possible. It’s not like I’m not convinced that this song won’t be included in the next album but, whatever happens in the future with your live activities, from a creative perspective is it ok to think that  flow from the album (The Insulated World) is over with this song? K:  Of course. However, I think there will be also some flow  similar to this song. That's because 'The World of Mercy 'is simply closer in time than 'The Insulated World'. But well, I don't know what will happen (laughs) -As we discussed earlier, there was also a sense of continuity in the lyrics. In recent years one of the most remarkable things that’s being said is that “there is no correct answer”, “A lie could be also the truth for a person” or something like “It may be true if you keep believing in it, even if you suspect that it may be wrong”. I felt some sense of contradiction. So, at the end of the two nights in Yokohama, I felt like you were hinting at something  with the line “Ill feelings will continue coming”, a variation on the lyrics of “Sustain the Untruth”. K: That’s simply  because it was the last song at the end of the show, like creating the image of playing it with the audience while the lights were on (Note: they used live footage for this song at the broadcasting). It was just this song  because it wasn’t included the day before. However, when it comes to lyrics, there are moments that you can think about it  in that way. -A two-night performance that was supposed to end leaving such an aftertaste. But without closing the previous flow, “Ochita koto ga aru no sora” comes into the world and goes on. I'm looking forward to it while I was imagining how is it going to be. A concrete thing about this single again is that  you have had Brian Gardner as mastering engineer for some time, right? This might be the first time you have teamed up with Josh Wilbur, who was in charge of mixing this time. Does this mean that it was the right timing to do it? K: That's right. He is very popular, so we never had a chance to work with him. It seemed possible this time, so we decided to ask him for the first time. Well, he is quite of a “on my own way" type of person. Like, he plays with the sound as he feels. The first time he sent us back what he created, we were like “what the hell is this?” (laughs) -You really didn’t see that coming, right? K: That’s right. Even if the song was processed just a little, at first there were parts that it was like “what?” “this can’t be good” (laughs). After all,  as he is a person who also does pop music, don’t you have a tendency to try to do such things? -In short, in these times, processing like that is a way to create an upgraded form (of the song) K: Actually, I don’t know if I would say that it is an “upgraded” form.  Somehow, it’s like he doesn’t want to leave it as it is. -He is simply not someone that just says, “I will make it sound good”. K: That’s right. T: Yes. Maybe he is someone who wants to leave a mark in the sounds he makes. I guess he is that type of person. But when I heard the sound that came back from the first mix he did, I thought it was "interesting". It was too different from our previous approach, but it was interesting from an objective point of view. However, at first, we sent him a provisional mix made here in Japan, telling him we wanted it to sound “like that”. Usually, the song would be sent back with that feeling (as we requested). As it came back with a completely different direction, it was like  a shoot and I was struck by it. I was a bit surprised. -You don't know what kind of person he was until you actually try to team with him. K: Yes. At first, we thought it would take him some time to do it. But as he is a person working in many things, as we told him the appropriate things, we thought he would do it properly. Actually, he sent it back to us quickly. So, when it comes to that, if we told him “please do this thing here”, he sent it back (done) soon. -In short, at first, he may not be the type of person that at the time of sending it back to you, sends you something “safe”. It’s like he doesn’t want to do it in a safe way. K: That might be true. But at first the sound of the band itself was strongly metal. -Do you mean more than what it was? K: Yes. Like the drums…. the drums were much sloppier than the final version ones. I feel like I overlooked his intentions a bit. -However, if you are in a situation where you can work by exchanging data, even if the returned idea is not what you were looking for, you will realize "Oh, can turn out like this?"  Even if it's not the correct answer for you right now, it may be a hint for someday. K: Certainly, there were moments like that. However, although it is exciting in itself, we had a strong consciousness that we were actually doing it, so I didn’t expect that much (laughs) Wanting to do it “more like this” comes out first. However, if I listen to it again later, I think that the “Oh, I see” feeling will come out. "No, we don't know that yet. It's just a song that was completed as a single. It starts from here though” Kaoru -It must have been meaningful to you to know what kind of work he would do. You said “he is a person working in many things” but he turned out to be a person that doesn’t do everything in a smooth/safe way. K: Yes. On the contrary, there are some people who won’t take the song to the extend that you want even if you can see the answer (final result) from the beginning and tell them “how about this?”. In that sense, I guess he was well suited for the task. -It’s hard to point out the specific difference from your usual sound but, after all, something feels different. K:That's right. Moreover, somehow isn’t the existence of the song itself already big?  I thought it would be difficult to put it out like that, so I thought it was he someone who would do it.

- You can hear Kyo’s mid-range singing very well. The lyrics of those parts also come up clearly.

K: Yes. But that doesn’t mean that some sound is being cut off there. Everything is coming out in a really clean way. That’s why I feel like he (Josh Wilbur) is a person who knows how to produce all kind of sounds.

-Yes. If you look at the works he has done in the past, it's not just heavy rock, it's very diverse in musical terms. (Note: The list of artists he has worked with includes not only LAMB OF GOD, MEGADETH, TRIVIUM, but also P!Nk and Faith Hill.) DIR EN GREY has had many opportunities to work with several engineers this way, but for the future….

K: We want to continue working with him. If he tried with the single and it worked out well, the next step would be the album. I wish we could find someone who would like to work with us on the next album, but I'm not sure if he will take care of it. It’s depends on what we will do in the future until we find someone like him who can do it.

- If all goes well in the future, I think you should be able to tell us about the next album you are already picturing in your imagination in a few months.  Do you think the production schedule wouldn’t have changed in the first place, even if this first domestic tour or the two-night performance in Yokohama were held as scheduled?

K: That's right.

-In other words, do you mean that you will be absorbed in production the album this year?

K: That’s right. Well, as a matter of fact, I feel that we can do nothing but to move in a different way under this situation. At least, isn’t it hard to think about doing new lives? If there were more live shows that have already been scheduled, we would think about what to do with them. In our case, we cancelled the tour, didn't we? For the time being, there are venues where the postponement is still on hold and there are other venues that are actually still booked. But, well, in the current situation, the question is if new lives should be announced at those places (that are booked).

- At the same time, even if there is a not officially announced live schedule, it does not necessarily mean you should do it in the way you originally thought.

K: Yes. So, in the end it's likely that it will be postponed again and if that happens, I think we should hold the venue again sometime next year There are a lot of things to think about, and in fact, all we talk about now is how we're going to move.

- Actually right now, is there anything left to announce after the two-night performance at Pia Arena?

K: That’s it. There is nothing that can be announced now.

- Even if you make a release schedule, the situation will be different depending if you can play lives or not. Of course, if you have a situation in which you can play lives as before, you'll want to do it as soon as possible, but we are waiting for that to be possible….

K: We are in a difficult position, aren’t we? How long should we wait?  For example, if this situation continues next year, I feel like it’s going to be complicated for us. We can't wait forever, but we can't force it ourselves. So, I can only say that it depends on the situation. For example, you're planning a tour in winter right now. Normally, we would have to announce it soon, right? But in the current situation, that is not possible. If we decide and announce it right away, we will sell the ticket according to the guidelines*  at that moment, but actually no matter when you restart doing lives, I don't think we can announce it with the minimum time in advance, and I think the guideline itself will change in the future if we announce it with months in advance. To sell the tickets according to the guidelines at that time, you would have to do (the lives) in a short span of time, like a month later.

*Japan's guidelines for events (concerts, sports events...) are measures to prevent the spread of Corona virus.  These measures  limits the venue capacity and  advocate for social distancing among other things. However, the guidelines is not  legally enforced.  

-For example, in the future, in a seated venue, you can only perform if there is an interval (empty seats) between attendees, and in such a situation, the picture that comes to your mind when you imagine a live will be different. In that case, I guess that it’s hard that this fits the way of doing lives that you have been trying to do until now.

K: That's right.

T: I think everyone has no choice but to explore the options. Of course, the idea of ​​playing lives normally should still be there, but I think we should explore other ideas as well. That's why…...there are many unclear parts, but the current situation is that it cannot be clarified. As this happens, I think there is no choice but to think about the possibilities in both directions. So, if we can do something interesting, I think we should do it, and if we can play lives in a safe environment…. the guideline may change again, but of course I want to do it right away.

-I hope the situation where we can enjoy live performances as before will return, and I hope  you will be able to do what you were trying to do this year in a similar way  in the future. When that time comes, it will be an upgraded form.

K: Of course. In fact, we are always thinking about a year ahead, no, even more…Of course, there are plans that we will keep. However, we are not sure if these things can be done as we planned. But well, we work on the premise that we can do it, and if we can't do, there will a right time for it.

-When the right time comes, you may have to do all at the same time, what you originally thought you would do and the things that you were putting aside too.

K: Yes, that too (laughs)

T: That can be tough, though.

-As soon as the touring ban is lifted, and each band restarts their live activities at once….

T: That's a difficult thing, isn't it?

K: That’s why….it might the same from the audience’s perspective but, it also depends on how much the people around the artist and live staff can resist. I want them to endure this situation until somehow, we can play live without worrying about it. What should we do so they can endure it? The hardest thing would be that they weren’t there when we can play lives again. That's why…. I hope everyone can survive this situation somehow.

My conversation with these two people ends here. I don't know how the situation will change in the future. Optimism is dangerous, but we don't have to imagine the worst. In this phase,I am grateful that the new song was released at the promised time, and I would like to get ready for the right time to come without giving up hope. However, we can’t do anything about it, just long for it.

[lu-undy]

Un-alone, Chapter 3

Here it is!

Was it only the water of the shower?

Non, his tears were mixing with it. His tears, and his blood. 

Lucien had only slept for a few hours. When he had come back from the gym, he cried himself to sleep, only to wake up on the carpeted floor of his hotel room, his head and hands on the coffee table, next to the letter. 

But now, he was taking a shower. 

He couldn't go to the funeral covered in bruises and dried blood. Non. He even thought that he couldn't go to the funeral at all. But he had to. This was his wife that they were putting underground, and he hadn't seen her in years.

Lucien rocked back and forth under the shower head. His eyes were closed and his arms wrapped around himself. He kept bumping his forehead against the tiled wall, a low drumming that gave him the illusion that time was stopping around him, that he could take that time, without it passing, without losing it. His tears did not stop.

He had talked to Marie, sometimes, on the telephone. Whenever his work took him to the United States, he would always stop at a public telephone booth and call the number he knew by heart. 

Like a teenager on the phone with their secret lover, he would speak low to her, for no one else to hear, even though the booth was closed and no one paid attention to him. He would lazily play with the phone cord around his gloved finger as he murmured words of love and longing to her. 

He would ask how Jérémy was and on the few occasions that it was Jérémy himself who picked the phone, Lucien would freeze, and it would take him a few seconds to clear his throat, collect himself and ask to speak to his mother. 

He had heard his son grow over the phone mostly. His voice went from a little boy's to a man's. The first time that Jérémy picked up the phone with a deeper voice, Lucien's eyebrows had jumped. 

"Who is this?" He had asked.

"It's Jay." The voice with the Boston accent answered. 

Lucien's jaw had dropped. 

"Jérémy?" His lips mumbled. 

"Yeah, funky accent you got there. Who's this?" 

The Frenchman gulped down hard and a trembling hand went to his brow. 

"May I speak with your mother, please?"

"Sure… Ma'! Phone's for ya!" 

"Hello?" The feminine voice was a delight to the spy's ears. 

"Marie?" 

"Oh, hey… Jay? Why don't you go out with your friends?"

Lucien waited for a few seconds. 

"Yeah, Lulu? Hon'? How are you?" 

"Jérémy…" He answered. "His voice…"

"Yeah, he's growin' up. He reminds me of you, in his own little way… Lulu? love, are you here?”

The spy had to look up to swallow back the tears that came to his eyes. His son was becoming a man…!

Last time he held him, the little boy could hardly walk. 

And Lucien remembered how he used to feed him, put him to sleep, play with the little blond baby. Ah, putting him to sleep was what Lucien would remember all his life and beyond. There was something of a deeper connection when the lights were out and baby Jérémy looking up at his then much younger father, with his hair still all black. The father would sing to his son and if at first Jérémy would play and laugh with him, soon, the deep and soothing sound of Lucien’s singing would put him to sleep. 

“I heard you sing to him.”

“Oui.” Lucien would slip in the bed with the woman who stole him off of the million arms of other, non important women. 

“What song is that?”

“A lullaby.”

“Sing it to me.”

“It is not in English, Marie.”

“I know, heard you purr like you do when you sing in French.” She laid her head on his chest and he switched the night lamp off. “So go ahead.”

Lucien looked down at her and smiled.

“Ne m’oublie pas,

[Don’t forget me.]

Je vais devoir m’en aller.

[I have to go.]

Ne m’oublie pas

[Don’t forget me.]

Tu ne dois pas pleurer.

[You must not cry.]

Même quand je suis très loin de toi,

[Even when I am very far from you,]

Tu restes dans mon coeur

[You remain in my heart.]

Je chante en secret chaque soir

[I sing in secret every night]

Pour que tu n’aies plus peur.

[So that you don’t feel scared]

Ne m’oublie pas,

[Don’t forget me,]

C’est à regret que je pars.

[It is with regret that I leave.]

Ne m’oublie pas, 

[Don’t forget me,]

Quand je chante, tu es dans mes bras.”

[When I sing, you are in my arms.]

He sang it again, translating himself and Marie looked up at him with a distraught smile on her lips. 

“We will miss you, hon’.”

“Me too.” He squeezed her tighter and adjusted the blanket on her back to better cover her.

“But we won’t ever forget you.”

Their eyes met and soon, their lips. 

Meanwhile, the old Lucien sighed under the continuous flow of the shower, the white noise of it covered his sniffles. He mechanically stopped the water and stepped out. 

He readied himself. Black suit and tie, black hat too and assorted, varnished shoes. 

He raised his eyes to the mirror and hated the sight. He had nothing against the suit, it did its job, making his cinder hair appear even lighter, the bags under his eyes and his slender cheeks a show of death itself. Non, what he hated was the insult of a man that stared back at him. 

Lucien put his gloves on his still bruised knuckles, to hide the misery he now had to, and made his way out without anything in his stomach. 

The taxi ride was as silent as it had been since he had learnt the news and jumped into the first plane for Boston. He had left Paris hurriedly, taking only what the letter from the American secret services had told him to. 

The flower is withering. Black suit. 

Of course, Lucien had trusted Fred with keeping an eye on Marie and Jérémy. But that telegram had killed him. He had wanted to see her before it was too late but Marie's lungs gave up before the Frenchman set a foot in America. 

"Here we are, Sir. And I'm sorry for your loss."

The driver's voice cut Lucien's train of thought. He paid what he owed, maybe more, God only knew, and he left. He passed the black wrought iron gates of the cemetery and walked resolutely to the group of people that he did not recognise. 

He kept his distance from them all but couldn't help hearing their low chatter. 

"Where's her husband?”

“Who?”

“Jay’s dad. Isn't he gonna come? Even for that?" 

"I don't know… Jay said his father's dead."

Lucien lowered his hatted head and frowned, exhaling from his nostrils angrily. 

"Mary told me it wasn't actually true."

"She lied to him?"

"No, he made this up because he got fed up with people askin' him about his dad." 

Lucien looked away but soon, silence fell. The coffin was brought forth and the priest started speaking.

He spoke at length about the courage of this single mother who raised and provided for those children, how she did a formidable job at it despite an absent and cowardly father. 

If only they knew… 

But where she was going, Mary would still see her boys, her little men. She would still be there for them. 

Such nonsense, Lucien was thinking. 

Mary was gone. She was dead. She wasn't there anymore with anyone. She wasn't there for Jérémy, she wasn't there for him, she was there for no one! 

Lucien thought he'd better get used to the hard truth rather than sugarcoat it with nonsense like that. 

Oh. 

They started lowering the coffin. 

Lucien heard the sniffles, the cries, the muffled tears in Marie's family. He wanted for the whole show to be done with to stay with her, alone. 

It lasted quite a while. As he eavesdropped on the conversations, he learnt that some people were family, some were friends, others, neighbours. 

They all put flowers down, candles, words on a letter that would crumple under the rain. But they eventually left. 

The Frenchman took a few steps forward, coming out of his hiding, and crouched down. 

"Marie…" 

Words failed him. 

"Ma petite fleur."

[My little flower.] 

He sniffled. 

"I beg you to forgive me." He paused. "I wasn't at your side when you most needed it. I failed you." 

Lucien wiped a tear with the back of his gloved hand. 

"I failed you as a husband, and I failed myself as a man. I took vows that I did not uphold."

No, Lulu, hon'... We agreed on this. I knew you had to be far for work and you only wanted to protect us. It's ok, it's alright-

"Non." Lucien answered the voice that he could only hear in his head. "Non, it is not alright. I swore, Marie. I swore that I would take care of you from the moment I said 'I do' in front of that priest and until death do us apart. I…" 

Had he been alone in his lonely room, he would have gone through yet another fit of sobs, of pulling his hair off his own head, of rocking back and forth like a madman. But he was out in the open and most importantly, he was right in front of the tombstone that shall haunt him from now on. 

"Hey! Who the hell're you?! Get the hell out of my Ma's grave!" 

Cold sweat. Lucien tapped a button on his watch and his silhouette vanished in a thin cloud of smoke. 

"Hey! What the-?!" 

The young man stopped, a few feet away from his mother's grave. Unbeknownst to him, his father was standing right in front of him, a hand on his own mouth and tears streaming down his face. 

More than twenty years. More than twenty years had passed and he was now seeing his son. 

Mon Dieu, he had his mother's kind eyes even though they were red with tears and slightly swollen, he had her gentle gaze, Lucien could see it. The blond boy had grown up and his hair had darkened to be dirty blond now. 

He had short hair and seemed uncomfortable in his black suit. Ah, he surely wasn't used to wearing one.

"Jay, you comin'?"

"Yeah, Auntie…" 

“Hurry up or I’ll send your brothers!”

Unbeknownst to him, Jérémy was squinting and staring through his very invisible father. He left soon after but Lucien remained, petrified. 

That was… Jérémy? 

The baby he had held in his arms all those years ago was now a man nearly as tall as him.

He stared at him as he made his way out, following the crowd, his family that surely somehow was Lucien's too. But he had never met them, never talked to them. He knew the names or the existence of a few of them, when Marie would tell him about them. 

But both had wanted to keep their private lives very much private. Marie knew her family would never approve of her marrying a stranger. Lucien was the only man to ever treat her as a woman, he knew that, she had told him that. He made her feel taken care of in his hands, even if he was absent most of the time. It was the respect he treated her with that made her cling to him at all costs, he knew it.

When he told her about his job and what he had to do sometimes, she had nodded. 

“Do you understand, Marie? I… I cannot be the family man that I should be. My job requires me to… to do unthinkable things that no one else can and… Sometimes, if you knew what I do, you would… You would doubt my feelings for you.”

“No.”

“Pardon?” He had asked in his mother tongue.

“No, Lulu. I know that you love me sincerely. And I love you the same way. I don’t care what your job is. I… I know you love it too and…”

“Marie, I am sorry.”

“No, let me finish.”

He was holding her in his arms, in their bed that morning.

“I had Fred talk to me.”

“Merde…” Lucien mumbled to himself.

[Shit.]

“He explained to me that you were a… a war hero…?”

He sighed, frowned and looked away.

“Is that true?” She insisted and he shook his head.

“Non. I just did what had to be done and what no one else could. It could have been anyone else. I just happened to be there at those times and places where my skills came in handy, nothing more.”

“Pff…” He looked at her and she was smiling. “Fred also said you’d say that. You’re a war hero and certainly, you’re my hero.” She leaned her head on his chest again and left a prude kiss.

“I know this is selfish of me but…”

“But what?” She raised her head to him and he held her hand in his.

“But I wish I could keep you forever, just for myself.” He closed his eyes but soon, he felt her shift on the bed. She lay down and pulled him to lay his head on her chest. 

“You say it as if it’s impossible.” She answered.

“I told you. I am away most of the time and this mission is coming to an end soon. I will have to leave.”

“What if we get married?”

Lucien’s eyes couldn’t have snapped wider.

But today, he could hardly keep them open. 

“Petite fleur…” He addressed the tombstone, as if Marie could still hear him. “Je suis désolé, mon amour.”

[Little flower… I am sorry, my love.]

Later that day, when he was alone in his room, drinking again, Lucien heard a knock on his door.

 “Go to hell.”

“L, it’s me.”

Lucien sighed. He recognised that voice. He stood up from the carpet and opened the door. 

“L? Hi…”

Lucien returned to sit on the sofa, the bottle of whiskey hadn’t left his hand. 

“What do you want?”

“Just to offer my condolences.” Fred closed the door and came to sit next to his French friend, who took a gulp of the bottle straight. He was still wearing his black attire, although the collar of the shirt was open and the buttons were undone. Seeing his old time colleague so disheveled made Fred frown. "I've never seen you like this before, pal… I thought you were the kind of sailor to have one woman in every harbour…"

Lucien raised dangerously piercing eyes to him. He did not like Fred's comment.

"Sorry. Didn't mean it to sound bad or anythin'. Is there anythin’ I can do?”

“Help me quit.”

“Yeah, you should quit your drinkin’, pal.”

“I did not mean it for the drinking.”

Fred’s eyebrows jumped. 

“You wanna quit your job?”

Lucien nodded.

“It killed one too many.” He took a generous gulp of the whiskey that now dripped at the corner of his lips. He wiped the mess with the back of his forearm.

“L, you know you can’t just quit. Besides, I was comin’ to talk to you about it.”

Finally, Lucien raised his eyes to his colleague. 

“We got some work to do. Well, you have.” The American got a cigarette pack out of his jacket and offered one to Lucien who winced and shook his head. Instead, the Frenchman went to grab his own cigarette case and let Fred light one for him. “Ah, yeah, you like yours French, eh…”

They puffed on their cigarettes and Fred looked around them. 

“Mind if I get myself a glass?”

Lucien motioned him to go ahead. The American went to the mini bar. 

“They knew up there that you’d like to retire after this. And if you don't mind me sayin', you and I aren't gettin' any younger. So they’ve sent me to suggest somethin’.”

Lucien raised an eyebrow and watched his friend grab a glass and pour some wine. He squinted to see the label and rolled his eyes, force of habit. As much as Lucien appreciated Fred, his taste in wine left a great deal to be desired…

“They say that you should get someone to work with you.”

“Non.”

“Hold on, let me finish…” The American spy joined his French colleague on the sofa again. “They say you should train a young one to replace you.”

Lucien’s eyebrows twitched. 

“Not that they’d manage to fit those big shoes of yours but, y’know, someone to replace you while you go and retire. What would you do? Go back to France, I guess?" 

The Frenchman sucked on his cigarette harder as he frowned. 

"Non."

"I knew you wouldn't like it so I told them. They're ok to give you an alternative." 

Lucien shook the cigarette in the ashtray on the coffee table and Fred noticed the bruises on his hands. 

"You could drop field work completely and train the young ones."

"Pff…" Lucien exhaled the smoke from his cigarette in a long gust. "And where is the choice? Either train one or train them all? Is that the choice that the country that I have lost everything for is giving me now, hm?" 

Fred could see his friend's fingers shake. He was mad and barely holding himself back. His chest betrayed his fast and short breathing. 

"Seems so. If that's any consolation, I'm trainin' one of them kids too. He isn't bright, hasn't learnt the job like you and I, but he works hard." Fred tapped his cigarette in the ashtray and lay back on the sofa. "They're givin' you a few days to think."

"I should go and kill them." The Frenchman said calmly. "One by one. Start with their loved ones and as they wonder what kind of curse had fallen on them, I would deal with them all."

"You can't get to your Minister of Defense…!" Fred scoffed but the gaze that Lucien gave him made him stop his chuckle sharp. "L…?"

"I could." 

"But you won't… Right?" 

The Frenchman stood up and went to the door that he opened and held wide. 

"Good night to you, Fred." 

"L…?"

"I said, good night."

Fred sighed. He walked to the door but didn’t leave yet. He turned to his French colleague and looked him in the eye.

“Don’t do anythin’ you’ll regret, eh?”

Lucien exhaled a bitter sigh of smoke.

“See ya.” Fred left and the Frenchman shut the door. 

He came back to his solitude.

[lihikainanea]

Can we discuss Tiger acknowledging Gustaf’s sensual essence. She’s not attracted to him in a legit way, but she recognizes how he’s just a walking sexual being and Bill finds this out and is just like please no. He’s a little jealous but also insecure cause that’s his big bro who he’s closest to and that’s his rock. Bill feels all the feelings.

Look man, Gustaf’s sensual essence is just....it’s impossible to ignore. I know little to nothing about this human, and yet I feel like I know his soul. Gustaf is good people. He’s calm people. He’s kind people. And while I’m still reeling from that sweet, sweet--god SO SWEET photo of him and his grandmother that he posted awhile ago (I think it was Mother’s Day in Europe?I can’t remember) but he’s just....Gustaf is one of those dudes that you never quite get over. Even if you’ve broken up, even if it’s years down the line, somehow--you always still think about a dude like Gustaf. And you wonder. You wonder if he’s well, if he’s found someone he's happy with. You wonder what he’s up to, if he ever ended up getting that motorcycle that he could never shut up about. You wonder if he still drinks his coffee black, if he still takes a bubble bath at least once a week and listens to Enya. You just...wonder.

But like look, you know what gets me here? Is maybe tiger acknowledges his sensuality, his mystique, in a far more subtle way--which in turn, just makes Bill so much more angry.

Hear me out.

So I like to think of tiger as a little ball of absolute fucking fire--she’s bitey, snappy, sassy, angry all the time and quite loud about it. She’s just hell on wheels, and Bill is her big calm dude who is always even-keeled and mild mannered. Ever notice how big dudes tend to be the most gentle? They tend to be the calmest? It’s because they know they can win the fight. All these other little dudes have to puff their chests out like peacocks, full of machismo and male ego, trying to prove a point. Big dudes are rarely like that. They don’t gotta prove nothin’.

In any case, maybe it’s the famed Skarsgard family camping trip and tiger has been even more high strung because of work stress. Tiger is basically being insufferable to Valter, and she’s sniping at Bill but he’s taking it in stride because he loves her anger. Gustaf though, Gustaf just watches it all calmly. Gustaf plots. He observes, but then he waits.

And maybe when tiger is having tea out by the dock, he comes over with a big blanket, undoes it, places it on her lap.

“Did you know,” he starts lowly, sitting down and resting his forearms on his knees, “That your shoulders are up by your ears?”

Tiger glares.

“All that tension must hurt,” he said, “Come on, take a deep breath.”

And tiger--like any warm blooded female--tiger has a bit of a soft spot for Gustaf. He’s not one you sass. So instead she huffs a bit because she just has to voice her displeasure somehow, but then she does it--takes a big, deep inhale through her nose, and breathes it out slowly through her mouth.

“Good,” he says, “Stand up for a second.”

And the difference is, Gustaf--much like Bill--doesn’t give tiger a chance to say no. He stands, takes her mug and places it on the table, then pulls her up gently, walking behind her.

“I tend to carry all of my tension right....here,” he pokes between her shoulder blades and she’s wound so tightly that she flinches, “And it seems you do too.”

Two big hands wrap around her shoulders, and she instinctively stands a little taller.

“Deep breath again,” he says. Tiger inhales, and on the exhale, Gustaf pulls her shoulders back. She nearly sags in relief, feeling the ball of tension in her back easing.

“Again,” he says, “And this time, try to pull away from me.”

So she takes a deep breath, and as he pulls her shoulders towards him, she resists and tries to pull them forward.

“Oh my god,” she moans at the deep stretch, “Oh fuck.”

He makes her do it three more times, and at the end he just runs his hands down her arms, throws the blanket over her shoulders.

“Tomorrow morning,” he says, “Sunrise. Out here.”

“Oh, no. No no. I don’t do mornings. I sleep through sunrises.”

But he smiles gently, runs a thumb across the deep bags under one eye.

“You’re not sleeping at all these days,” he says. And without another word, he retreats into the house.

And like, look. For a solid week, tiger joins him out on that dock, and he starts introducing her to yoga. Maybe a bit of meditation. Just very, very gentle stuff--no tough poses, nothing that hurts, just focused a lot more on breathing. And tiger is....slowly becoming much more peaceful, under his tutelage. And she starts to cherish those mornings, because Gustaf is sensual but tiger doesn’t feel it in a sensual way. She kind of just...she wants to cuddle Gustaf. Just wants to be in his presence, because he’s so incredibly calming and so nurturing. Gustaf is good people, he always was. So tiger spends nearly every morning with him and she comes back refreshed, calm, positive, invigorated. And Bill isn’t really any the wiser, because he sleeps like a log with the country air and tiger is usually back before he can even wake up.

But Bill notices one rainy afternoon, when they’re all in the living room playing Mario Kart. She’s on the couch and he’s on the floor in front of her, her legs over his shoulders as he strokes idly at them, his nose in a book. But he’s keeping an eye on the screen--and this is the fifth straight round that tiger has lost spectacularly. She’s either gone flying off the rainbow road or Valter has annihilated her with a tortoise shell of death--every round--and Bill flinches a little, in anticipation of the impending storm. He waits for it, ready to catch the controller that will for sure go flying by his head en route to his brother’s, maybe he even grips her ankle a little tighter to get a better hold in case she decides to fling HERSELF at Valter’s head. He clenches his jaw, wincing already and just hoping the trail of cusswords isn’t screamed too loudly or too closely to his ear.

But instead, he hears the controller be placed gently back on the couch, and he hears tiger take in three deep breaths--calming, rhythmic, steadying. And he peers up at her curiously just in time to see her eyes reopening, her shoulders lowering back to their normal position. And he’s just about to ask her if she’s feeling alright, until it happens.

It happens.

Gustaf reaches over, and gently taps the back of his knuckles on her bicep.

“Atta girl,” he says, “Doesn’t that feel better?”

Bill’s blood runs cold. 

And it’s not that he thinks Gustaf would ever do something, it’s not that he thinks TIGER would ever do something--it’s just that Gustaf’s aura is addictive, it’s undeniable, and Bill is a jealous bean when it comes to his Little Human. And this type of thing happens all the time with brothers, it’s normal. Bill isn’t threatened so much as he is just...a little irrational about it all. And he’s also pretty disturbed because he loves tiger’s fire, and he loves his role in it--tiger gets all up in ends about everything and it’s Bill’s job to smooth it out, calm her down, make her feel better. He likes being that person for her, he likes being her balm and her sense of reason with everything.

And in true Bill fashion, I’ll bet he lets it eat away at him for the entire day. Doesn’t say a word. Doesn’t even squeak when Gustaf and tiger get into a really deep conversation about the powers of the psyche, the depths of the mind, ways of using emotions to control physical reactions in your body. Tantra. Bill doesn’t say a word.

But later on that night as they’re getting ready for bed, tiger pulls him down for a sweet kiss.

“I like this,” she runs her thumb over his scruff, “It’s sexy.”

“Why didn’t you yell at Valter?” he asks suddenly. Tiger looks at him, confused.

“What?”

“Valter needs to be yelled at,” Bill pulls his face from her hands and walks over to the door, opening it and jutting his chin.

“Go yell at him.”

Tiger is dumbfounded, and Bill eventually sighs heavily and slams the door shut a little too hard.

“Why are you so calm?” he demands.

“Why are you so...not calm?” she asks, “Bud, what’s going on?”

“Tiger, I like your fire. I like that you’re just....always angry. Because then I get to be the one who comes in and...helps. And I know you don’t need my help, but I like being that guy for you. I like that you get all angry and pissed off and that you snap at everything, because I like how it feels when I’m the only one who can talk you down,” he say, “Until, apparently, I’m not the only one who can talk you down.”

But tiger’s not an idiot. She knows there’s more.

“And what else?” she prompts. Bill shifts those big eyes of his, but tiger just crosses her arms.

“And you’re in love with Gustaf,” he mutters.

“There it is.”

She sighs, walks to him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

“Bill, I’m not in love with Gustaf,” she says, “He has good energy. He was showing me tricks to try and relax a bit more.”

“But he’s....tiger, every single female on this planet is in love with Gustaf,” he pouts, “All this energy meditative calming tantra bullshit. He’s all sensual and mysterious and--”

“Bill,” she cuts him off, “So are you. Do you ever wonder maybe where you might get that from?”

His pout deepens, but he stays silent.

“Buddy, you have the closest bond with Gustaf because you two are so much alike,” she continues, “You have good in your soul. You have kindness in your soul, god just the way you take care of me is incredible. Your calm nature, your empathy. These things can't be taught, but they can be cherished and nurtured. And I think Gustaf did that for you.”

She plunks her head on his chest, puckers her lips for a kiss and he bends slightly, lays a soft peck on her mouth.

“I’m intrigued by Gustaf. Calm people intrigue me. But I’m not in love with Gustaf. I’m not even attracted to Gustaf.” she says, “It’s you, Billy Goat. You. You you you.”

He kisses her softly again, but then he pouts.

“There’s a ‘u’ in Gustaf.”

“Bill.”

[betweenthetimeandsound]

Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#220-211)

#220: Yiannis Dimitras -- Feggari Kalokerino (Greece 1981)

"Κοίτα τον έρημο γυαλό Σου ψιθυρίζω σ’ αγαπώ Τώρα θα χτίσω εκκλησιά Για της αγάπης τα τρελά παιδιά" "Look at the desolate seashore I whisper you “I love you” Now I’ll build a church For the crazy children of love" The opening shot, the rose on the piano, set the stage for such a romantic journey under the summer moon. And the soundscape created through the piano and instrumental throw us into this endearing scene, one which is also tinged with melancholy. Feggari Kalokerino is not only an ode to this beauty, but also an admission of craziness for falling in love. With such pretty lyrics, one can't help but get enveloped in this pretty world, where everything is so beautiful. The combination of Yiannis' singing and the woman's piano playing is also quite cute, albeit with some...interesting undertones to it. Either way, it's classical yet timeless.

Personal ranking: 3rd/20 Actual ranking: 8th/20 in Dublin

#219: Liliane Saint-Pierre -- Soldiers of Love (Belgium 1987)

“Neem elkaars handen Smeed nou die banden toe Hoor je die verre kreet? Geen mens vraagt dat leed” “Take each other’s hands Come on, weld those bonds Do you hear that distant scream? Nobody asks for that suffering” Top ten opening themes of anime, haha. It also helps that "Soldiers of Love" is the English translation for the song "Ai no Senshi" from Sailor Moon (which I've listened to many times but haven't gotten that far into the anime...). That said, Soldiers of Love packs a punch with the instrumentation and the high intensity of the melody. The lyrics are a powerful battle cry, albeit one which advocates for peace amongst people. There’s so much energy and determination in Belgium’s host entry, one would prepare themselves for battle for a good cause. Liliane really delivers this earnestly and with determination, though sometimes the military-style get-up stands out to me the most when I watch it again. Though those two guitarists turning their ends as if they were firing guns is a cool thing to behold.

It's one of the host entries that is better than the song which one it for the country, which is something because J'aime la vie is considered a fan favorite.

Personal ranking: 6th/22 Actual ranking: 11th/22 in Brussels

#218: Beth -- Dime (Spain 2003)

"Cuántas veces te llamé en la noche Cuántas veces te busqué Por mis recuerdos yo vuelvo Y no pierdo la fe" "How many times did I call you in the night? How many times did I look for you? I return for my memories And I don’t lose faith" For some reason, Dime reminds me of "Die for You" from two years earlier--both feature modern pop bops with ethnic influences, both imploring about the state of a relationship (while they both want to make it wor. And they're both in the same key! At the same time, Dime holds its own as one of the strongest 2000s entries from Spain. They had similar flamenco/Latin inspired entries in 2001 and 2004, which were highlights in rather mediocre years because of their uniqueness overall. But the guitar flourishes here work well with the dance beat, and it provides its own fun.

Personal ranking: 3rd/26 Actual ranking: 8th/26 in Riga

#217: Svala -- Paper (Iceland 2017)

“Drawing every bit of my truth Colour me in with your blue” I didn’t actually pay attention to this song in the follow-up to the 2017 contest. I also didn’t watch the semi-finals, which could’ve led to me neglecting the song entirely otherwise, especially I've heard a lot about Blackbird during that time. However, the summer after the contest, I discovered the song and listened to it. And I liked it! (And then I got hooked with Svala's other songs through her different groups) I was interested particularly in the lyrics, which discussed a fight between one’s mental demons and anxiety. I like the English version more than the Icelandic one; the latter is a bit more optimistic on winning against the battle whereas the former really takes the issue seriously. The production, while a bit staid, added to the feeling of helplessness with its electronic coldness. The staging also tries to incorporate this, though it didn't work in making it stand out. (I did like Svala's cape and makeup, though!) While I do love "Hear them Calling" a lot, I had a more interesting journey with Paper--it grew until it became something I highly enjoyed. Personal ranking: 6th/42 Actual ranking: DNQ -- 15th in the first semi-final in Kyiv

#216: Live Report -- Why Do I Always Get it Wrong? (United Kingdom 1989)

“You can do what you want to do now...” Honestly, this has to be one of my favorite British entries ever. While "Go" from the previous year gets a lot of acclaim because of its songwriting and Scott's performance (along with how it ended up second in the end), "Why Do I Always Get it Wrong?" is better on how it envelops a mood and could actually be found from this era (though it sadly didn't do too well commercially afterwards, sigh)

Whenever I do something wrong, or self-hate, this is the song I turn to a lot. The synthesizers drew me in—it fit well with the late 1980s-early 1990s sound elsewhere. It's also helped that Celine performed "Where Does My Heart Beat Now" earlier in the contest, which piqued my interest. And while Ray’s ponytail was a choice, it didn’t distract from how he delivered the song.

Despite getting more 12-points, it ended up losing to Yugoslavia by just six points that year. While not my favorite that year, I think it was the better one of the top three; it equally reflects the times and holds up!

Personal and actual ranking: 2nd/22 in Lausanne

#215: Tommy Nilsson -- En Dag (Sweden 1989)

“En dag vi alla förstår, En dag, när stillheten rår, En dag jag finner din hand, När vägarna möts förstår vi varann,” “One day, we all understand, One day, when silence rules One day, I find your hand When our roads meet, we will understand each other” My two favorites from 1989 are sonically different, diverging between despair and hope. I listen to "Why Do I Always Get it Wrong" a bit more, but "En Dag' would stand out for me in a few different ways, more from being just the optimistic song of the two.

The intro features really good brass, which leads way to the fun instrumental. I like how it builds, and Tommy’s interplay with the backing vocalists is incredibly strong. You get a sense of energy from the both of them as they send the song to new heights.

Basically, it's just glorious!

Personal ranking: 1st/22 Actual ranking: 4th/22 in Lausanne

Final Impressions of 1989: It's a pretty fine year, both in songs in production. There are a number of good songs there, though not many classics which hold out in the long-term (except for Vi maler byen rød, which became famous in Denmark and even became the premise of a musical!). Highlights include an overactive conductor from Turkey, two children, and an awesome interval act involving a crossbow!

#214: Bang -- Stop (Greece 1987)

“Ότι κάνεις για δόξα και λεφτά Δες τι χάνεις, αλλού είναι η χαρά”

“Whatever you do is for fame and money See what you are missing, joy is somewhere else”

I’ve heard this song compared to Wham’s output, especially with its vintage rock-n-roll sound (wake me up before you go go). This doesn’t make it any less bad, with its charming tone and thoughtful lyrics about how a girl who only wants material goods should stop chasing them.

(This is another reason why sometimes, the original-language version is better that any other one--the English version to this song has goes on a completely different tangent)

The performance also falls into vintage aesthetics, with the suits for both Thanos and Vassilis and sock-hop style dresses for the backing vocalists. It's really cute, and the way they dance fits the scene.

On another note, apparently Greeks saw this as a favorite at the time, can someone verify that?

Personal ranking: 5th/22 Actual ranking: 10th/22 in Brussels

#213: Guy Bonnet -- Marie-Blanche (France 1970)

“Nous sommes là dans une douce quiétude Nous avons mis fin à notre solitude Nos corps apprennent de tendres habitudes Et Marie-Blanche est à moi”

“We’re there in a soft stillness We’ve put an end to our loneliness Our bodies learn tender habits And Marie-Blanche is mine”

By 1970, chanson was on its way out; in its place was folk, rock-n-roll (spearheaded in France by Johnny Halladay, who has a great French version of "House of the Rising Sun"), and psychadelia. Within France itself, some of the #1 singles from that year include Comme j'ai toujours envie d'aimer, Let It Be, and Bridge over Troubled Water (a total masterpiece, I tell you).

So, what does one make of Marie-Blanche, in this case?

It's a really sweet love poem, in which Guy declares his love for the girl. and conveys a particularly cute scene. Whenever I listen to this, I envision two lovers cuddling inside while watching the snow fall during the winter. There's a sense of magic and serenity in all this, and the lyrics match the pretty piano melody.

Basically, hits are important to keep the contest alive. But songs like Marie Blanche can pull on the feels in the right ways.

Personal ranking: 2nd/12 Actual ranking: =4th/12 in Amsterdam

#212: Justyna -- Sama (Poland 1995)

“I czuła się tak marnie Poczuła się tak marnie Jakby Bóg, dobry Bóg Nie lubił pcheł..”

“And I feel poor Feeling so poor As if God, the good God Didn’t love little fleas...”

If 1994’s To nie ja represented something classic and hopeful, 1995’s Sama takes it and reverses it. (And in the grand Eurovision timeline, they're only separated by the last song of 1994, Je suis un vrai garcon from France) Instead of a young woman filled with life and singing a decent ballad, we have another one pondering herself, all alone, with nobody to help her.

Also, this is more of an acquired taste with its out-of-tune recordings and Justyna’s scream. But it doesn’t feel out of place within the 1990s, with its alternative influences and production, and I like Sama a lot for that!

Unfortunately, it also caused it to do substantially worse, which is simultaneously explainable and baffling. A good result would've made waves for future Eurovision entries; the 1990s are my favorite decade, but they did misalign quite a bit from the mainstream.

Personal ranking: 7th/23 Actual ranking: 18th/23 in Dublin

#211: The Shadows -- Let Me Be the One (United Kingdom 1975)

"You and I could have an affair/make sweet music, go anywhere"

Isn't this lyric really charming? I couldn't help but have a little giggle because of it; there's a sense of naughtiness (especially with choosing "affair"; are they trying to something illicit?) underneath it.

That said, The Shadows are mainly known for their instrumental rock, but Let Me Be the One has a neat melody line. The rock-n-roll vibe, which could be released within that decade, is light but lovely, and added a jolt of uniqueness to the otherwise poppy contest up to that point. The flubbed line in the beginning ("let me be the one who literally holds you tight", haha) adds to the whole thing, but they were able to carry on, nevertheless.

And while I like all the 1970s winners to some extent, I would switch out "Ding-a-Dong" for Let Me Be the One in terms of winners vs. runners-up; like with Sama, it could've changed the contest in a positive way.

Personal ranking: =3rd/19 Actual ranking: 2nd/19 in Stockholm

[sadzcv]

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[thebandcampdiaries]

Ember Mikayla - Dissociative Anarchist EP

A punk-rock EP with a timeless, yet catchy sound.

January 2021 - Ember Mikayla is a solo artist and songwriter with a focus on making music that blurs the lines between various genres, including alternative music and punk rock. Recently, she set out to release a brand new EP titled “Dissociative Anarchist.” This release feels like a perfect example of the artist’s approach to creativity and songwriting, going for a direct and one-of-a-kind sound. The release unfolds through four tracks, each setting the bar higher in terms of innovation, and stretching the artist’s sound towards different creative directions and songwriting nuances.

The opening track is titled “Anarchist Skirt.” What makes this song special is that it feels like an immediate introduction to the group’s unadulterated energy. The arrangement has a really direct sound that makes me think of some early Foo Fighters music, especially when it comes to the wall of sound brought on by the guitars. The vocals are hard-hitting and inspiring, at times even reminiscent of iconic vocalists such as Kurt Cobain or the early days of Greg Graffin from Bad Religion, only to mention a few. Having said that, Ember has a unique voice and a distinctive character, which really makes the music all the more personable and direct. The second song “Untouchables” has a really different vibe. It is a lot more melodic and catchy when compared to the angsty vibes of the first single. This track actually makes me think of some of the earlier Blink-182 music (Think Cheshire Cat) as well as iconic bands such as Screeching Weasel, The Queers or Mr. T. Experience, only to mention but a few. It’s all about capturing that unique melodic feel that is at the heart of a great punk band!

This release is a perfect example of the artist’s unique attitude and charismatic approach to songwriting and performance, going for an immediate and earthy sound that favours the human connection between the musicians, rather than hiding their work under an excessive layer of studio trickery.

The third track on this EP, “Dissociative Anarchy” is a fantastic track, and perhaps one of the most unique songs on this release. The tune has influences ranging from punk to grunge, and the vocals are just as direct as you would expect from an artist who is not afraid of telling it like it is! There is also room for an excellent punk cover: a rendition of “Folsom Prison Blues,” which was made famous by the late great Johnny Cash. This cover really makes me think of bands such as Social Distortion, who also managed to release a stunning Johnny Cash cover (of the song “Ring Of Fire.”) There is something about Cash’s music, which really works with punk rock, and the intensity of the lyrics really work with Ember’s unique twist.

Ultimately, I would definitely recommend listening to this particular release, especially if you enjoy the sound of artists such as Against Me! (with the amazing Laura Jane Grace), Cloud Nothings, Dead Rituals, as well as Blink-182, only to mention but a few. Any punk rock fan is immediately going to connect with the sound and feel of this release, which brings such an immediate and easy-to-relate sound to the table, appealing to any fan of great alternative music in general. Ember is a very honest artist, the kind who is not afraid of sharing her feeling and pouring her heart out. Some people never seem to understand this, but even punk rock can be quite an intimate and personal style of music, especially if an artist is as honest and forward-thinking as Ember is, with a willingness to share everything about herself and her vision with the audience. In addition to that, this song has a really beautiful approach to production, and the sound might remind you of some of the best first-wave of punk music, with a bit of a contemporary twist as well for good measure!

Find out more about Ember Mikayla, and do not miss out on this new studio EP, which is currently available on the web.

https://open.spotify.com/album/0pjYi3QoDjZiILne4Vk4oh?si=J9d5cftRTJ2poddL0N3TXw

https://youtube.com/channel/UCBpZ-V4Af34dR-i8rVoroJA

https://www.tiktok.com/@embermikayla

https://www.facebook.com/embermikaylamusic/

https://www.instagram.com/embermikaylamusic/?hl=en

(via https://open.spotify.com/album/0pjYi3QoDjZiILne4Vk4oh?si=EW9kZNsjSYem2HPBTNSSOA)

We also had the chance to ask Ember a few questions: keep reading for more!

I love how you manage to render your tracks so personal and organic. Does the melody come first, or do you focus on the melodies the most? 

Usually I usually write the lyrics first but not always. I do have a lot of lyrics that don’t have” music but there are times when i write a really cool riff and add words later. Sometimes I write both together.

Did you perform live before COVID? If so, do you feel more comfortable on a stage or within the walls of the recording studio?

I have performed live before but not with this work that I’m doing now. I have been in bands in the past that did live shows. I do have some social anxieties and get nervous on stage but as soon as I start playing they seem to melt away into the music. Having said that the studio is easier for me not just because of my anxieties but also scheduling with my kids.

If you could only pick one song to make a “first impression” on a new listener, which song would you pick and why? 

Probably “Anarchist Skirt” because it kinda gives my background. It explains that I’m a trans woman and that I had a rough life. Also it tells that I’m an anarchist. Those are the things i write about the most, my life experiences and my ideas on anarchy.

What does it take to be “innovative” in music?

I just write and play what I feel. I think that is the best thing anyone can do. Be true to yourself and tell your story. That always makes the best music to me. 

Any upcoming release your way? 

Yes. I am currently working on a new full length album. I do not have a release date yet but hopefully in the next few months. There is a double album dropping on Jan. 22 titled “F**k You” with tracks that have already been released before but for some reason there was trouble and it was pulled from some places. If you heard the “Heading North” album it is that but with and extra 10 songs that are old acoustic recordings of mine.

Anywhere online where curious fans can listen to your music and find out more about you? 

I’m on Spotify, Apple music, Youtube, and all other streaming services. You can also find me on Facebook, Instagram, twitter, tumblr, and tik tok. Just search ember mikayla or ember mikayla music on any of those and you will find me

[unibrowzz]

My Personal Eurovision Winners (and then some) Part VI: 2000-2009

So I had a lot of shit to speak when I was actually watching the 2000s contests, but truth be told I actually don't mind the 2000s winners. Sure there's a few duds here and there, but for the most part they're actually pretty solid, and under normal rules I’d probably keep at LEAST four of them.

But I made a pact to have no real winners in this list so let's go.

2000- Sweden- Roger Pontare- “When Spirits are Calling my Name”

Insert unoriginal comment about Sweden being better back before they started whoring themselves out to the jury vote every year here. But also remove equally unoriginal comment about tHe SwEdiSh vErSiOn iS bEtTer because guess what the song shreds in both English and Swedish. It shreds both ways. I guess you could say it’s... bishredsual. ... I’ll see myself out.

2001- Israel- Tal Sondak- “En Davar”

En or ein? YouTube and Diggiloo Thrush can’t seem to decide. Hey, I can’t pick Estonia and I didn’t want to be a basic bitch and pick Denmark so fuck it you’re getting Israel. And yeah I probably would succumb and pick Estonia for this because 2001 really wasn’t all that great of a year and hardly anything stood out to me after watching it.

2002- United Kingdom- Jessica Garlick- “Come Back”

Ah yes the UKs last hurrah before they unceremoniously bellyflopped from grace. If they ever had grace to begin with.  But it was between this and France, I ended up tossing a coin to decide which one. I kind of like both of them. Emphasis on “kind of” because that basically means “the winner sucks, let me pick something I marginally prefer.”

2003- Poland- Ich Troje- “Keine Grenzen-Żadnych granic”

Me picking an idealistic rock ballad performed by a guy with the dulcet voice of a five-pack-a-day chainsmoker? There's a fuckin’ surprise. But I daresay this is one of Poland’s best. I flipflop on whether I prefer this or Pali Sie from last year, and I usually go with Pali Sie on the grounds that this is a little too idealistic and John Lennon-y for my tastes, but with that aside... I still really genuinely like this song. If I wasn’t doing my “no real winners” run of this, I’d have a genuine hard time deciding between this and Turkey, and Turkey ‘03 is one of my top ten favourite winners.  So yeah, go check this one out.

2004- Cyprus- Lisa Andreas- “Stronger Every Minute”

To be honest, I don’t actually like this song all that much. It’s just the only one I remember from 2004. Like I genuinely couldn’t name a single other entry from that year aside Wild Dances, that’s the level of awful we’re talking about. And this song isn’t bad per se, but there’s just like... a moment, about 30 seconds in which I thought initially was a flubbed line, since the contest is live and shit happens, but no, the song is just... written like that. Like it’s written to sound flatter than a glass of Coke left out all night after a party. And it sounds horrible. ... I got sidetracked.

2005- Hungary- NOX- “Forogj, világ”

Tap shoe noises in songs automatically make it 10x better, and that’s a proven fact. The 2019 Cats movie was made at least 5x less terrible by putting tap sounds in the Railway Cat song. Which is the best song in the musical, don’t @ me. But this isn’t about the mod’s hot takes on Cats, this is about the mod’s hot takes on Eurovision, and I honestly don’t know why I subjected myself to the entirety of 2005 when this song won the moment the tap shoes started.  And this was the first song, go figure. 

2006- Croatia- Severina- “Moja štikla”

I swear Croatia is just one of those countries where I barely notice their presence half the time, but when they send something I like it ends up being my favourite song of that year.  Anyways, 2006 was actually a pretty decent year. Not one of my favourites, but I remember a few songs I liked from it. But this one stood out overall because it sounds cool.

2007- Sweden- The Ark- “The Worrying Kind”

Now I knew I would like this song going in, like I’d seen pictures of the singer and people describing the song as glam rock and I just knew “Hell yeah, I bet that guy would have a killer song”.  And guess what, he totally did. How about that.

2008- Latvia- Pirates- “Wolves of the Sea”

Ah yes, my beloved trash fave. And I would say I have a good reason to pick this song out the murky insanity that was ESC2008 but honestly the only reason I like this song is because it appeals to my inner seven year old who just wants to charge around a disco at a holiday camp somewhere on England’s south coast. What I’m saying is, this song makes me very nostalgic. I just wish the live version was actually, yanno, in tune. But then again this is Eurovision in the mid-2000s, singing horribly off key was just part of the spectacle.

2009- Germany- Alex Sings, Oscar Swings- “Miss Kiss Kiss Bang”

Everyone told me 2009 was amazing and guess what it fucking wasn’t. But this song is. I feel like this is one of those Marmite entries, in that people either really love it or will refuse point blank to even listen to it. I for one love it, it appeals to lots of my barely-laid-out criteria for me liking a song, plus it livened up the whole ass year because like I said... 2009 sucked.

[cheshiresense]

Oooh! Um... How about Kisuke/Yoruichi/Ichigo? Shadowrun AU (Fantasy AU if you don't know Shadowrun)

Lol I have no idea what Shadowrun is, did a quick google and it’s something like magic + cyberpunk + vaguely futuristic post-apocalyptic setting + virtual reality?? Omg it’s too complicated to write just from reading the wiki lmao, I’ll just give you a cyberpunk fantasy AU.

Edit: This got away from me a bit whoops.

1. Kisuke is your average humble toymaker in the Slums who may or may not supply the underground Robin Hood-esque rebel faction Visored with not-so-average weapons and prosthetics and various repairs and upgrades. The Visored are pretty much wanted in every kingdom in existence, partly because half of them used to be nobles themselves and were part of the minority who hated the way they treated their citizens, mostly because they keep fucking with the other nobles, but no one except said nobles actually wants them to stop because everybody who isn’t nobility pretty much hates those who are. Mostly, it’s the three neighbouring kingdoms - Seireitei, Silbern, and Las Noches - sitting cozy up in their walled off flourishing cities up high, constantly at war with each other but with plenty to eat and plenty of money to fund their large-scale chess games, and paying almost zero attention to the poor and homeless outside their walls. That doesn’t stop them from forcibly conscripting the lower class as cannon fodder or using the Slums as their personal dumping grounds or imprisoning or executing anyone they decide is breaking one law or another. Kisuke’s stayed under the radar so far, so nobody knows he’s the man even more wanted than the Visored, if only for his prodigal skills with cybertech. He’s the one who built their equipment and vehicles, who repaired Hiyori’s spine after she’d been left unable to walk from an ambush and produced a new arm for Hachi after it was cut off in a skirmish, both of which work just as well as the original parts. Most of the nobles either want to kill him or “hire” him. But a toymaker in the Slums who cobbles together tiny cats and dragons and chickens and pixies out of scrap metal for children to play with isn’t anything to look twice at.

2. Here is a secret only a handful of people know - Shihouin Yoruichi was born a cripple. She couldn’t walk, at all, and even the best prosthetics money could buy from the various cybertech companies were clunky and awkward and only allowed her to limp a certain distance. Her family, one of the great noble houses of Seireitei that specialized in seduction and assassination, hid her away out of shame, right up until a rebellious teenaged Yoruichi had had enough and snuck out one night on nothing but her wobbly fake legs and a crutch. She’d spent enough time on her own for the majority of her childhood to know just about every passageway and secret door that snaked through the length and width of Seireitei. She didn’t stop until she appeared in the Slums, and she fainted from exhaustion and hunger only a few days later, but she never looked back. Kisuke found her, took her in, and then made her legs on a whim, upgrading them every time he figured out something new and better that he could add to them. In exchange, Yoruichi used her newfound mobility to retrieve better materials for Kisuke, robbing delivery trucks en route to Seireitei’s cybertech companies or outright stealing from her own family’s weapons storage. Anything they could buy, Kisuke could reverse-engineer and make better. Ten years after she left her old life behind, her legs are a work of art, connected to her nerves to give her complete control over them but granting her superhuman speed and jumping ability, and she’d practiced enough with them over the years that her mind had no problems keeping up with both.  The prosthetics are lightweight but strong enough to withstand the swing of a blade or the impact of a bullet, and she would give a lot to see her family’s faces if they ever realize just who has been ransacking their vaults.

3. Most people carry some kind of weapon these days, but the best - for those who can afford them, or can call Kisuke a friend - can take the form of a companion when not in combat. Shinji’s is in the shape of a sphinx, all sleek lines and feline flexibility, but one that shifts into a sword in a silent whir of pulsing blue lines and polished metal at his command. Mashiro’s is a pixie, not unlike the toys commonly seen in Kisuke’s part of the Slums, except hers includes translucent wings threaded with pale green wiring. It’s perpetually perched on her shoulder, but in a fight, the pixie fuses with her hands and legs, the wings melting and sliding over her skin like liquid mercury to form gloves and boots that increase the power of her kicks and punches.

Yoruichi’s is a black cat but nobody actually knows what kind of weapon it can turn into. More often than not, Yoruichi sends it off as a spy because the thing is so realistic nobody can actually tell it’s not a real animal unless they get close enough to see the delicate wiring in its yellow eyes.

Nobody’s ever seen Kisuke’s either, weapon or otherwise, until a spy from a cybertech company snoops too closely around his shop. Then the other occupants get front-row seats to the bright red threads that extend from his hands - hands that light up with the many, many upgrades inside, a complicated maze of crimson circuits swirling beneath his flesh - and attach themselves to their target like strings on a puppet. At least he takes it out back before he literally rips the spy apart.

4. Once upon a time, before Yoruichi was even born, there were five noble houses instead of four. But the fall of the Shiba Clan is never talked about, and most don’t even remember the details anymore, only that most were put to the sword and the rest were scattered. One of the runners in Kisuke’s employ - the many who scrounge through the Slums’s trash heaps for parts Kisuke might find useful - is a boy on the cusp of twenty who looks uncannily like the last Shiba clan head before the family’s collapse. He goes by Ichigo and doesn’t seem aware of his lineage, and if he notices the way Shinji almost always makes an appearance when he comes in with his haul, and his payment always ends up including several extra portions of food and some high-grade medical supplies and even a new change of clothes now and then, he never says anything. After they find out he has two little sisters to feed, a handful of toys get bundled in as well, free of charge.

Kisuke wouldn’t know a Shiba from a Shihouin, and Yoruichi’s family never bothered teaching her all the things an heir or even just an average noble-born child would’ve needed to know, so neither of them treats Ichigo differently because of his blood or background. They do treat him differently because none of Kisuke’s runners have lasted as long as Ichigo. Sooner or later, they disappear, arrested by guards or killed in a back alley scuffle. Ichigo slinks into the shop at fifteen and still comes around every week like clockwork five years later. He always shows up with a decent haul too, and once, Yoruichi follows him, just to see where he’s getting his loot because surely most of the trash pits in the area have been picked clean over the years? There’s always more added to them, but not at the rate Ichigo is scrounging materials. So Yoruichi follows him one day when he leaves and that’s how they find out about his sisters and the makeshift hole in the wall they live in, shabby-looking on the outside but clean and cozy on the inside and insulated well from the cold. That’s also how they find out about all the enhancements Ichigo has, because Yoruichi makes the mistake of underestimating him and almost gets beheaded when he disappears and almost shivs her from behind with a hand-turned-blade, teeth bared like an animal as his eyes burn with golden circuitry.

(The Shiba Clan had been widely feared, once upon a time, for their genius in the more explosive weaponry and their talent with artificial intelligence and robotics and other biological cybertech enhancements. It was why they’d been so swiftly sentenced to death when they’d come down on the side of the poorfolk. Even one Shiba would’ve been equivalent to having a small army in one’s arsenal.)

Ichigo moved faster, jumped higher, hit harder, than anything Yoruichi had ever come up against. The crack of his heel coming down against the ground shattered rock and cement everywhere, and the only thing that saved her life that day was her dodging ability and a quickly shouted explanation for why she’d followed him in the first place. Ichigo wasn’t unreasonable, even if he wasn’t entirely human. His enhancements explained how he could move further through the Slums for loot and still put down roots in the area. It took some coaxing and several dozen more months of coming and going from the shop, but eventually, he’d also admitted that he didn’t know where his enhancements had come from, he couldn’t remember anything from before waking up the Slums with two regular human toddlers who called him brother depending on him. The only thing imprinted in his memory were the directives: 1) Take Care of Your Sisters, and 2) Survive.

But he was the most powerful thing around for miles, and Kisuke was fascinated because the work done on Ichigo was only vaguely like his own, and far more advanced than anything the nobility churned out these days. Yoruichi didn’t care as much, but she liked having a new sparring partner, not to mention Ichigo was very easy on the eyes, and a few more years on him meant Yoruichi could appreciate the sight without feeling like she was preying on a child.

Ichigo kept coming back, and eventually Kisuke managed to wheedle Ichigo into getting a checkup and upgrades, especially when he started outgrowing a few of his joint ports. Yoruichi watched the two of them make moon eyes at each other, listened to Kisuke ramble about something Ichigo told him the day before, noted the way Ichigo’s eyes sometimes strayed to Kisuke when the man wandered outside without a shirt and his pants on backwards after too many hours in his lab, and she was almost tempted to lock them in a closet together.

(She doesn’t notice the way Kisuke smiles indulgently at her when she comes home from a trip into Seireitei with an icebox of fresh strawberries from the Kuchikis infamous gardens because they’re Ichigo’s favourite, nor does she see Ichigo blink and cock his head in new understanding sometimes when he observes the way she drapes herself over Kisuke, comfortable and relaxed, but never does it with anyone else.)

In the world they live in though, trust is more important than love. Yoruichi has trusted Kisuke since she met him, and Kisuke’s trusted her since she was down two legs and still flung herself between him and a thief with a knife who thought the shop easy pickings. And the day Ichigo brings his sisters over and lets them run around out of his sight is the day they know he trusts them. It’s only natural to offer him and his little family a room of their own at the shop.

5. The day Yoruichi comes back with news of the Silbern Kingdom’s royal family and Las Noches’ royal family both being overthrown by several of their own noble families - the Ishidas and the Kurosakis, and the Coyotes, the Tu Odelschwancks, the Cifers, and the Jaegerjaquezs respectively - is the same day Shinji comes to them and tells them about the revolution movement that’s been in the works for a while now, about the remains of the Shiba Clan currently helping the Ishidas and Kurosakis take over Silbern, and about Ichigo’s own past - memory wiped for his own good because rumours of a Shiba child successfully integrated with his clan’s still experimental but groundbreaking technology had leaked, and if they’d gotten their hands on him, they would’ve turned him into their weapon. Better to hide him in the Slums, along with his two sisters who wouldn’t be of any use in a war for several more years, until they need him again, which they do now, because as soon as Silbern and Las Noches are theirs, they’ll be moving on to Seireitei post haste, and a two-pronged attack while the Gotei is still scrambling to defend themselves would hit them hardest, because for all that the kingdoms have been at war with each other for years, it had never been so direct, nor had their goals ever moved beyond poaching each other’s technologies. But for the revolution movement to succeed, they need Ichigo on their side, and it wouldn’t hurt for Kisuke and Yoruichi to join them too, technically Kisuke’s been their weapons-backer for years, and Yoruichi’s been their ear to the ground in Seireitei for just as long, and they’ll need all hands on deck. The kids can be left with Tessai.

Ichigo storms out. Yoruichi demands to know why they were never told before. And Kisuke surveys a tense-looking Shinji (who explains that it was supposed to be for their safety too - because Yoruichi was their only successful spy in Seireitei, and very, very few could match Kisuke’s genius, and it was just better to keep them out of the way) from beneath his hat before smiling blandly and promptly catching the man with a flick of his hand and five threads, unceremoniously tossing him out the window before he and Yoruichi both go to find Ichigo. It doesn’t take a genius to guess he’d returned to the hole-in-the-wall home he’d made for his sisters, and they join him after Ichigo acknowledges them with a jerk of his shoulders. They don’t speak right away, Ichigo sitting in stony silence, Yoruichi curled on one side of him still seething, Kisuke on his other, absently flexing one red-tinted hand in that way he only does when he’s contemplating murder.

They’ll help, all three of them. They don’t even need to discuss that. It’s high time for the upper-class to get their lives shaken up, the Slums are a disgrace, and if they have the chance to change that, they’ll take it, even if it means working beside people who have been using them for their own ends without giving them so much as a heads-up. Or in Ichigo’s case, will be using him since it’s pretty apparent he might not be the Gotei’s weapon but he is still very much the Shibas’ weapon, reserved for emergencies.

“Regimes come and go every day,” Kisuke remarks first, right hand fanning open, then closing, then opening again, crimson circuits shimmering along the vein lines of his palm.

“What a shame,” Yoruichi agrees with a grin that’s two-parts teeth and all-parts spite.

“…Three of us against three kingdoms that’ve just taken a beating?” Ichigo muses, but his eyes flare gold, and he’s smiling too. “Sounds like fun.”