#thats what i mean by how they interact with the rules defining the characters

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

see i take "doomed by the narrative" to mean a character who is doomed (either dead or stagnant with no hope of any trajectory) by the narrative (the nature of the work existing as a story puts unique pressure/limitations on the characters through the medium of choice, where the fact that its a story with a weaker fourth wall is a deliberate choice). Doomed by the narrative meaning the constraints of narrative/genre/medium actively prevent the character from getting out of a cul de sac, and the character pushing against this metatextual boundary is part of the conflict and futility of the exercize. but i see "doomed by the narrative" applied to characters who dont die, break free from their constraints, or go stagnant at all, let alone in metatextual fashions.

what i mean is like. truman and utena are doomed by the narrative in the sense that the narrative is an oppressive force that has put them in a lose-lose situation, no matter how much they object, and the only move left for them is to exit their respective stories. the only things left for them in the narrative are death, or playing by the rules and stagnating. so they bring the curtain down. this is also the intended functions of the truman show and of RGU, to deliberately invoke the fact that the world is a closed narrative and not let you-- the viewer-- forget it, in order to make a point, or a lot of points. The Truman Show and RGU categorically can't be interacted with an audience looking for an experience where they can be sufficiently immersed into a story that they don't need to think about it as something someone else made. (Tangentially, i feel like a lot of shallow criticisms of virtually anything could be remedied by reminding them that the works they complain about were created on purpose by real living people and did not spring fully flawed out of the void.) Thats not to say that kind of story or audience is wrong-- there are countless stories that work better without the looming reminder of fictionalization hanging over someone's head. But it's just-- ugh, you get me. onto another example.

Antigone is doomed by the narrative because the complicated poetry of her small world is of the understanding that this is a tragedy, and the hero of a tragedy must die, no matter how much they try to fight it. The laws of her world are defined entirely amd immutably by the genre it takes place in. The characters implicutly know this. The best thing she can do is die on her own terms. No matter how many times the play is put on, the end result is the same. The characters of the world of OFF are doomed by the narrative because OFF is painfully aware that it is a video game, and many of the characters know it, or at least they know there is a higher power watching it spool out. And if you are an adversary in an RPG standing between the protagonist and his progression, there is only one end for you, and its your HP reaching zero. Finishing OFF means finishing them off. The game has multiple endings but to even get to the end you gotta kill basically everyone. By then its too late. There is not a circumstance where these characters survive bc the rule of the medium does not permit it. This is the category of fridged women.

As for stagnation this is for characters that are by edict of the limits of the narrative are neither permitted to die nor improve their situation nor even leave. They have reached a point of no return. This may or may not be their fault. I think this is a pretty rare character type. Creon also from antigone goes here. Zacharie, also from OFF. Any protagonist of an abandoned webcomic lol. WD Gaster.

i just feel like if ur gonna talk abt a character who is doomed u better actually mean a character who, no matter how many times you reroll the dice, is going to be irreparably fucked. And if its at the hands of a narrative you better mean its at the hands of the narrative, and that its part of the point, an active pressure and limiter.

[baylardo]

DO QUESTION 8. BE LONGWINDED.

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

im gonna PAGE BREAK this one teehee! dont feel like u gotta read this dookie its hecking DENSE original content lmao. this aint even all of it just the stuff that pertained directly to stories i had in mind

I used to be super passionate about developing my headworld Tenebres which like, I still love it a lot and I think about it sometimes but idk I lost the spark for it I guess haha... I had a few kinda "big arc" stories in it, some of them were just AU's for fandom stuff, but omg I'd always put my heckin heart into it maaaaang. :/

BASICALLY I RAN OUT OF CHARACTERS LOL

Tenebres Lore: Tenebres takes place in present day and focuses on the hidden society(s) of magic and monsters. Characters can vastly range in appearance and abilities; many of the rules are set as suggestions rather than guidelines. The one thing to keep in mind in regards to looks is that if they interact with common folk they need to be able to "blend in" which can be achieved in a variety of ways.  While there are some classifications that entirely define some characters in what they are, there are other circumstances where a character can fall into multiple categories. In these instances, there is usually one that represents them more than the other.  Generally speaking all potential types of magic are fair game in Tenebres. The only exceptions are time and dimension manipulation, which are strictly prohibited by a common code kept by most Magi. 

Vera and Jagger: one of my earliest stories involved me and my friend's OCs Vera and Jagger who were both werewolves. my werewolf lore is a bit dense but suffice to say that Vera is a "moon-blessed" called a Lune werewolf and Jagger is a "moon-cursed" werewolf called a Tenebroso. Tenebroso become uncontrollable, enraged, and lose their sense of self in their wolf form. Tenebroso also target Lunes for some unknown reason, they kinda set them off..... thats da mystery is that this new "strain" of werewolves is attacking packs and Vera in particular is like "haha something's majorly up rn. im gonna get to the bottom of this" so the idea was that Vera discovers Jagger stuck somewhere and through exposure therapy of herself (a Lune) to him theyre able to uncover some of the mysteries surrounding Tenebrosos. AND THEY FALL IN LOVE. Lune Lore: Lunes are the rarest of the four races of werewolves. Their symbol atop their head is an upward-facing crescent with a dot within its arch.  Lunes are so rare because of the means in which one becomes a Lune; Lunes are said to be "blessed" by the moon, seeing as more often than not it is the only time they are able to transform. This does not negate them from transforming at other times, but unlike other werewolf races, they cannot stop or even try to stop the transformation from occurring in the presence of the moon.   Tenebroso Lore: Tenebroso have an upside down crescent with a circle attached to its arch on the outer rim. Some have wondered if they have any correlation with Lunes considering how similar their symbols are, though there is no evidence of this aside from the fact that Tenebroso will specifically target Lunes when they are in the area. Not much is known about Tenebrosos, though it is assumed that their initial transformation occurs under intense emotional distress.  Tenebroso are big and burly, mutated-looking werewolves. Though they do not always look this way. Similar to casts their outward appearances can largely range from one to the other. Normally their bouts of rage occur around Lunes or other werewolves, leading to rampages. When a Tenebroso is out of this state of mind they look more like a normal werewolf.  Their eyes will gleam white when they're attacking and can often times be seen spewing and coughing out black ooze from their mouth. Their entity will darken with a black aura as well.

Juneau my beloved: Juneau's lore is that she was a well-renown mage that began self-experimenting on herself with spells and curses and she ends up irrevocably cursing herself into sometimes becoming a big carnivorous and kinda head-empty beast so she loses her reputation and gets kicked out of prestigious mage school she taught at and lives on her own doing plague doctor work which involves curse removal and cleaning up magic "outbreaks" but she ends up getting sought out by this young familiar named Hemlock who wants to learn advanced magic (which is a no-no for familiars) but juneau's so far removed from mage society that the two agree to risk it and she takes Hemlock and a few other familiars under her wing. there's also Ethel who's a mage that accidentally turned herself into a dragon and she's hiding out with Juneau and faked her death bc she thinks her condition is humiliating, where juneau kinda owns her curse and doesnt care with other magefolk think. her and juneau dont like each other very much, Ethel is very lawful good where Juneau's pretty CHAOTICALLY aligned. she frets over them getting caught teaching familiars advanced magic, but they both have nothing better to do and miss teaching so they do it. eventually they become friends and help their little familiar students excel at magic in a more public light, bringing themselves out of hiding as well. Familiar Lore: Familiars are considered to be lesser magi. The ability to use magic in one's animal form defines what a familiar is. Their magic stems from their animal forms and is usually the form that is able to harness the largest amount of magic. Some familiars are born humans while others are animals; more often than not they're humans. Familiars are sought out at very young ages.  Regardless of what a familiar was born as, every familiar has a unique symbol or symbols somewhere on their body; they are always symmetrical in their position on the body. They normally take on the general look of a swirl though its contents can vary significantly. Normally referred to as the Marks of Change, this is how a familiar is identified as a familiar and not just a magical animal. Marks of Change are normally monochromatic and can be lighter or darker than the familiar's skin. Unlike werewolf markings, Marks of Change are always visible and do not vanish when not in use; in addition to this they cannot be removed. Oftentimes these markings are in places where limbs emerge or change, but not always.  In order for a familiar to be enrolled in a magic school or academy they have to successfully perform their transfiguration; this is a very simple requirement in comparison to other witches and wizards who are not themselves a familiar. Familiars have very low expectations in the magic community, the most a familiar can hope to achieve is being the assistant to a high ranking or prosperous witch or wizard. Most studies for a familiar pertain to their transfigurations as well as catalyst magic, which involves the combining of individuals' magic.  Familiars are intended to be able to naturally shift between states whenever necessary. A familiar's overall comfort in their animal state can range drastically. Some find great ease shifting back and forth between forms while others, more reluctant to the change, can abstain from shifting; this  comes with potential side effects such as an odd mergence of the two forms, one might start growing a tail or feathers if they choose not to shift into their animal state.  Because of their constant fluctuation between forms, Familiars will often wear loose, baggy clothing that is easily removable. It is not required to a Familiar to have, but makes their removal easier when shifting into an animal.  A familiar's animal form does not hinder their lifespan, though it can increase it. As familiars age, their inclination to remain in their animal form grows, though this happens very late in life. This does not mean that they lose their humanity, though in some rare cases familiars can lose their sentience.

Blake and Schofield: just 1917 AU in Tenebres, Schofield's a mage, Blake's an Origin werewolf. blake ends up dying like he does in da movie and he becomes a GHOST that "haunts" schofield, just kinda follows him around and stuff after he dies, the story being theyre trying to figure out why he didnt pass on, why he's still around. it would follow Schofield surviving the war with blake as his invisible buddy, eventually they figure out a way to bring him back and he had a purpose to serve as a ghost.

Origin Lore:  Origin werewolves are identified by the O shape on their forehead.  Origins are one of the more common races of werewolves. Origin werewolves are werewolves born already inheriting their ability to transform. They can come from a single werewolf parent or both, though regardless of their parents' symbol, the offspring will be an Origin. This does not affect or prohibit the inheriting of certain abilities or features from their parents, however.   Origins are considered to be the average for werewolves, not necessarily being the strongest, nor the weakest. They are usually the ones to have their transformations under control at all points in time, given that they were born with the power to do so. They tend to have no special abilities aside from the obvious, and seem to be the most humane of a pack.

Farscape Tenebres AU:

John is a human, over the course of time Aeryn, a mage, teaches him how to use magic and he becomes a mage himself, but in the beginning he's just some guy that falls down a portal that allows him to travel between "mageworlds" which are kinda cut off little mage-made dimensions that magefolk use to avoid using magic around commonfolk. anyway he stumbles upon a mageworld that's sole purpose was to be a prison for people who committed magic crimes and that's how he'd find the "moya crew". D'Argo's a Cast werewolf, Zhaan's a grim reaper, Rygel's a vampire, Chiana (who they'd meet later) is a succubus. They end up escaping and just kinda exist via jumping through portals and running from the law.

I had a name for the magic police written down somewhere but it's been lost to time so it's back to being filler named: [MAGIC POLICE] lore:

The death of a magic-involved individual is something the [MAGIC POLICE] are obviously inclined to investigate

Harm of another wizard has a lot of laws and a lot of potential punishments dependent on the severity of the incident

The [MAGIC POLICE] will also investigate general public crimes that have been involved with magic, for the threat of the magic community being exposed, [MAGIC POLICE] officers are given the okay to use mind manipulation magic on the general public to aid in their forgetting of certain events

The [MAGIC POLICE]'s job is to apprehend wrongdoers whereas plague doctors for example clean up the messes afterwords

[MAGIC PRISON] (Tartarus) is where apprehended criminals are contained, it is seemingly limitless in the capacity it holds

Cast Lore:

Casts have a six-pointed star on their forehead. 

Casts receive their powers by curses or spells acted upon them. The means as to how, why, and what the side effects are for a Cast may vary very much depending on how it was that they became a werewolf. This subtype of werewolves is one of the rarer kinds as magic is not common in today's society, though the ability to become a Cast still exists. They are usually the strongest of a pack, gifted with enhanced skills and strength. A Cast will normally have one particular ability that is unique to only them; that isn't to say that there aren't similarities between Cast abilities either.

Some examples may include but are not limited to: The ability to control an element (Fire, wind, electricity, water, etc.), psychic abilities (Illusion, foresight, telepathy, telekinesis, etc.), enhanced physical capabilities (Increased, strength, sleep, sight, hearing, etc.) 

Casts are only able to use their magic in their wolf forms.

Some Casts can be muleheaded and a bit arrogant in dealing with affairs, though the other werewolves know how to put a Cast in its place. Casts will sometimes have unique coloring and fur, occassionally one may see a Cast with vibrant colors in association with its natural fur color. They are also seen to have odd mutations in their wolf forms such as an extra set of limbs, though not all of them carry this trait.

[lucicada]

Do you ever think about how the watchers, as they are defined by Grian, would be the most powerful force in the universe?

I mean, watchers are.. us. We are watchers. Which is Duh, of course we are but its a bit more complex than that. Watchers would be classified as Gods which exist OUTSIDE of the universe: you know the end poem that’s basically ‘you are the universe and the universe is you’ basically watchers are disconnected. Because when we watch a video we aren’t IN the video thus making us, not apart of the universe.

How does this make watchers the most powerful forces of all? Well, in a traditional sense it wouldn’t.

They don’t have very much affect on the world as people inside it do, thus watching it unfold and only being able to give warnings through forms of voices, comments, chats etc. If this were the case this would make Technos voices and Phils crows to be watchers in disguise and this would actually be very plausible.

I mean when we join a minecraft world we look.. as regular as a player can be: no robes or wings as the statues depict them in Evo. We just look.. like a regular player. Like watchers visiting as guests taking on human forms to blend in such as that subscriber who visited Evo because they won a contest. A watcher in disguise.

Grians appearance changes after becoming a watcher if you go by Evo timeline terms, becoming more plain looking and less evo looking. More like a human to hide his less than human godlike origins.

If you think about it Watchers would be more powerful than the Goddess of Death Kristin almost. I mean, we as watchers basically made her god, she wasn’t apart of the SMP naturally we just decided it. We has watchers gave her that power the same way we gift godhood to other characters in the form of headcanons: but its rare these actually come into affect.

Its like a story of ancient gods being shut off from everything to avoid abusing their power. I mean, in EVO watchers for the first time ever seen actually interacted with the world in the form of signs, riddles, games, puzzles, punishments and even sending an asteroid flying into a building in the main spawn area. If thats not proof enough that if watchers were given the power of free control over their main worlds they would be the most powerful force in the multiverse.

Honestly if the watchers sent an asteroid into a building who’s to say they didn’t make moon big happen. Just a thought. I mean the moon falling? Grians old skin being Link? Watchers being directly connected by the recent Last Life with Martyns lore who also conveniently had moon lore. It was all a coincidence but y’know. Still plausible.

What we make in the form of AUS just proves this fact, we mess with the timeline but we can never rewrite or alter the original. Evo is unique BECAUSE its altered by the watchers actions and their decisions: taking Grian away from Evo to become a watcher, whether of his own free will or kidnapped, could’ve caused the original fate of Evo to shift. Altering the future events in a sense.

Watchers would be more powerful than Kristin, DreamXD, Aeor and Exor. They exist in a universe and have to abide by its rules. Watchers however, dont.

The watching quality of it is also very accurate because they really do see everything but they can pick and choose. Watchers know about Tommys Exile but others don't, if they so choose to know everyone they can.

The ability to rewatch old videos and storylines also implies the watchers really can Time travel and thats were they get their ability to send the Evolutionists further into versions, we time travel with watching content all the time. Screw Watchers living in the End or the Void put them in the Aether or Outerspace those would be better fits for these anomalies, since once doesn’t exist and the other is replaced by the void meaning that outerspace the way we know it doesn’t exist. Maybe because we know it though, thats why is DOES exist. See what I mean by complex now?

What are listeners then? What would that mean for Grian if he were still a watcher as Last Life seems to imply. Its all so interesting I’d love to see discussion on this; sorry if any of this repeated or if my grammar is awful I am very sleep deprived and am thinking very self existentially.

Just thought that watchers are associated with time travel and sight of everything. Grian was admin of a time travelling server, he owned a time machine that could to back to Alpha which is conveniently where Evo was before, he has a rift in S9 that literally bends worlds and has a very similar aura and feel to the old portals to travel through updates, with clues as well like the watchers would do. Woah.

TL;DR: We are watchers, were fucking stacked because we can see fucking everything if we choose, if Grian is a watcher he'd be the BAMF-est bitch ever and would be stronger than the Goddess of Death and DreamXD and Aeor and such since he can interact with the world unlike other watchers.

Man, I got carried away. Discussion anyone?

[fuckblizzardbearlover]

LITERATURE FOR DUMBIES

So a huge problem in all fandoms seems to be a server inability to understand basic literary devices/tropes/ and story structure.

Its definately ok to not be an expert, however you all should consider that if something seems off or wrong to try to do what people have done with literature for thousands of years, discuss it.

"I dont understand this story thread" "what was the point of X" "why is the story focusing on this side character"

Almost every "these new episodes/movies suck" rants are basically those but instead of asking, just declaring the trained professional writers are bad or stupid.

Like...its ok. But when i was in school in a classroom or 30 students only half actually did the reading and a fraction of those understood it and a fraction of THOSE understood the nuances. But thats why book clubs and literary events and classes EXIST. To be a safe place to discuss things. And NOT rant and insult the writers.

So here is a few major tips i see as problems for alot of people.

1) in almost all media the characters do not represent the authors opinions. They can align and in some the story is an excuse for the author to speak certain opinions, but most characters have a specific personality. And an authors challenge is to think about how they would interact. So just because a character is giving a speech about, idk , how all people are selfish, doesnt mean the writer thinks that. It means THAT character thinks that

2)related: characters lie, have flaws, motivation and biases. People dont have 20/20 future hindsite . It literally makes no sense to say "this character should have done this ". THAT character? Had 5 seconds to make a decision. If u soent more than 10 minutes thinking about an alternative you have already negated your own argument. People are ruled by emotion and prejudice. Further people propogate propoganda. In Black Panther Killminger wasnt a revolutionary. He was blatantly using propoganda to justify his actions to himself and others. His real goal was to gain control of the worlds most powerful military so he could be a tyrant. This is explicitely shown in the movie by him aalting the earth and using his new power to immediately attack the people he claims to want to free. No killmonger wasnt "right". Nakia was, she was depicted FROM THE START as using wakandan resources to help her kin around the world, killmingers first act was to solodify power and destroy wakanda's culture, independance and people. Thr villain speech is a tool for the villain to trick themselves into thinking they are the hero, or to sap the strength of the hero, or as a mirror for the heroes character development.

3: exposition and character development is not "filler". Filler is trivial screen time meant to stall, usually because the writers are behind or having trouble and is most prominent in anime because they are adaptions of manga which might be unfinished. I.e. naruto shippuden wasnt finished so the show writing team made up a whole au story that wasnt in the manga to stall.

Episodes or movie scenes can do multiple things. They can world build or set the tone, introude story elements. Sometimes a scene in a movie exists just to give a break or give whimsy or an emotional reaction. The opening of the men in black was meant to start the audience with chaotic whimsy to get them prepared for the chaotic story coming, a comical scene in a shakespear play exists to return the audience to a neutral stare between dramatic scenes. Beach city episodes of steven universe exist to focus on stevens character development outside of battle because the story is about HIM not some space war. Non din jarin episodesof the mandelorian exist because the story isnt about HIM its about "the mandelorian" which could be any mandelorian and in s3 explicitely about anyone who identifies as such. The story is about their culture and how it fits in the space opera, not one lone space dads journeys with his new kid.

4: the story exists because of the intent of the author.

You can interpret art how u want, however any criticism has to be made with the understanding of what the author wants. If u want a story to be about something, thats cool but you can be disappointed if its not, but your criticism should not include that. Because the story is what the author wanted, not what u wanted. U want this kids show to have less fart jokes and season long character arcs? Well to bad, thats not why they made it. U want this show to have a positive story? To bad, they specifically made it to be trauma porn. You dont have to watch it, you dont have to like it. But u cannot be made when aomeone gives u free cucumbers and they turn into pickles and not tomatos.

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[old-stoneface]

ive been seeing people claim that different characters are astarion's foil and i dont know why some people have yet to realize that all of the main six companions in bg3 are similar in so many very meaningful ways . you can ostensibly argue (albeit with varying strength and success) that any one of the characters in that party can act as a foil to another. also, im not really sure if most people know what a character foil is......maybe we need to reintroduce the phrase "character parallel" to the online character analysis layman's vocabulary. a "foil" is a character that has traits that contrast the protagonist or simply another character in the story, but it does not stop there. they dont have to be strict opposites. sometimes its just a matter of two characters having traits that accentuate or bring attention to each other's aforementioned traits.

a really good example of this is horatio and hamlet from hamlet, where hamlet is ruled by his emotions and horatio is ruled by rational thinking, a theme repeatedly mentioned throughout the play in the sense that horatio will ask hamlet to be more calculating, and hamlet will implore horatio to be more emotional. an example of a parallel in the same play would be hamlet and laertes (ophelia's brother), where in the end, due to their combined familial losses and the tragedy that befalls them, they are both corrupted by their volatile emotions/madness turning inward and then coming under the influence of other figures in their lives. theres a lot more going on in that play obviously but these are basic good examples of the ideas of foils and parallels.

in the case of astarion and wyll, their motivations and personalities are very good foil material, seeing as right away there is a distinct difference in their opinions on heroism, something that very much defines both of them. astarion is, when glanced over as a whole, a villain, while wyll is clearly a hero, immediately creating a dichotomy tantalizing to both the audience and the characters themselves as seen in their party interactions. with astarion and gale, we see more a foil-ness of their experience with relationships and personalities. gale is not a hero, and astarion's general villainity means nothing to him. they do not clash. its more about how they act in relationship to the player that causes interest between the two of them, how astarion is clearly uninterested in genuine emotions and wants to be manipulative, whereas gale is overly sincere and begs for attention rather desperately. however, when it comes to pointing out parallels that further promote and intrigue the dynamic of foils...we have the constant theme of being under someone else's control in this game and being forced by obligation to follow these rules imposed by someone else. astarion and cazador, wyll and mizora (and his father, in some ways), gale and mystra, shadowheart and shar, lae'zel and vlakiith (and githyanki tradition as a whole), karlach and literally every authority figure that wormed their way into her life but in particular - zariel. as i play more of the game and learn more about each character, im sure ill discover even more stuff that makes various characters into parallels or foils. i know theres stuff w halsin that will be interesting to me.

thats what i mean by there are traits in every character in the main party that both compliment and clash. and this is also a reminder that foils and parallels do not have to be romantic, but they can be. so like..idk. i dont really have a conclusion here. i just wanted to talk about this lmao

[mysicklove]

this is like super random but do you have any advice for starting a thirst / x reader blog like yours? i've always wanted to give it a shot but it seems like SUPER intimidating because i have no idea how to set things up or even start

hmmm idk if im a good person to give advice but lol whatever i will!!

for the basics, i would recommened starting with a masterlist and rules, and you can build on other navigation stuff after that. a pinned post usually draws ppl in, bc its easy to navigate your blog!! and then just find a theme. i did a toga in the beginning and now a hanako theme, bc they are one of my fav characters, but u know there are tonnnnsssssss of themes and u can do whatever u want to! have fun with it 🥳

^ let me know if u need help figuring out how to link things, add colored/special fonts, banners, dividers, ect. i had to figure out through trial and error and that sucked LOL

in the beginning, dont expect to get many notes. if you go into it thinking about notes, you are going to get dissapointed lowkey. just relax, its not that deep, and eventually ppl will find your account with time. dont rush it!! but like i said, dont prioritize notes. i still am struggling with it, and so r other writers. it doesnt define ur writing at all. i had a one sentence post get like 3k notes, and then a 14k fic get like 400. literally notes dont mean shit, tumblr is weird.

also another thing. dont expect to get anons. or at least alot of them. in the beginning i had like no anons and i was lowkey kinda sad about it. but im telling u, as ur blog gets bigger u will get some. its nice to have anons in the beginning, but kinda unlikely. if smaller blogs r seeing this with tons of anons, good for you!! just idk didnt happen to me lol.

moral of those 2 paragraphs: i just dont want u to ever feel bad about notes and interactions. u may see other blogs get tons, but they have been established for alot longer than u. so do not stress about it plssssss. ive seen too many blogs make themselves feel bad because of notes and anons. and including myself, i would get unreasonably sad over something so fucking stupid.

big one: write for urself, not for others !!!!!!! once kinktober is over im bout to write an ungodly amount of hybrid and a/b/o shit, which alot of ppl dont like, but fuck it LOL.

last tip (ig?) walk into ur blog like its ur own space. dont be intimidated. i shit post and say embarrassing ass shit all the time to almost 2.5k people. its ur space, say what u want. i think thats really important. if u do make the blog, have FUN WITH IT !!! dont care what others think, make it ur safe space.

and be my mutual!! i will reblog ur stuff!!

[myrmica]

tangotek grian and impulsesv :3

hi jules this ask is from ages ago sorry. i love you

Grian - Which game rules/mechanics would you like to keep, and which ones would you like to change/take away?

the biggest problem with the last life rule set is that it works against the players’ ability to tell a satisfying story (which is the exact reason that the basic concept of 3l/ll is good, because you have a natural mechanism for conflict and a set ending that everyone is working towards so it becomes a story all on it’s own)

this has been brought up by other people, but most things only happen the way they do in last life because The Rules Say So. it’s the difference between jimmy being exiled from the southlands as a consequence for his own actions, and grian being exiled from the southlands because... he got murdered? it strips agency away from the characters. red lives are forced to break alliances for no good reason beyond “well, we have to!”

“red lives are dangerous” is the concept at the heart of 3l/ll. alliance with a red life has a built in risk factor because it forces you to trust someone who has the ability to kill you, it’s that simple. the boogeyman negates this entirely by making that same thing true of any relationship with literally anyone

something like the boogeyman does functionally need to exist. you need to incentivize action in the early game or else it could be god knows how long before people start dying, and early deaths would be primarily a result of mobs or accidents. in 3rd life the lenience towards green/yellow players killing took care of this, so i understand wanting a better solution and the boogeyman does fix this specific problem, but...

my point is that if the most memorable parts of the season end up being when people are working around having to follow the rules... that says something. there's a reason why etho and bdubs were so impactful to the audience.

the way that different characters interact with the rules in last life is what defines them. cleo holding a grudge against bigb despite the rules of the boogeyman mechanic stating that it throws alliances out of the window says something about her as a person, and that’s why it’s so good. i don’t think the players should have to be swimming up stream in order to have moments like this. some characters benefited from bending the rules, but most characters suffered from following them.

(obligatory disclaimer that martyn’s stuff is only as canon as you want it to be, but i enjoy running with it) on an in-universe level the watchers introducing the boogeyman, getting stricter, and certain characters refusing to play along IS satisfying to watch. if you’re deriving themes from last life, the players retaining autonomy and love for each other despite the game working against them in every possible way is the most obvious one. i’m fine with last life the way it is, i just hope a potential season 3 finds a good solution to some of this, especially because martyn has made it clear that they’re aware of the problems with alliances in ll.

as an aside, i also wish life trading was used more sparingly or treated with more weight. it made for a lot of good and/or funny moments, but it removed the level of finality that losing a life had in 3l

TangoTek - Are there any new game rules/mechanics you’d like to see?

this is a harder question because you could do ANYTHING. if we get a season 3 i want it to feel different from the past seasons the same way 3rd life and last life feel different from each other. there are a million possible gimmicks.

i don’t mind the idea of giving the boogeyman “you must kill someone this session OR ELSE” thing to red lives instead because it would make them more active threats, but i’m sure that has it’s own set of drawbacks. saw someone suggest this + the possibility of rolling one life at the beginning of the game which could work

ImpulseSV - Are there any specific features/biomes you’d like to see on a world map (eg. village or no village, there’s an ocean monument, the world is made completely out of biome without much vegetation so the struggle for resources is harder, there’s a wide range of terrain, etc.), if any?

snow biome... entirely tundra. wide open, sparse vegetation and 0 cover. it's a location we haven't seen at all yet in either season, it would create the feeling of a harsher environment (an interesting through-line if you consider the introduction of the boogeyman mechanic in ll as the watchers becoming increasingly cruel with the way they run the game). i just think it would be fun. though practically the new 1.18 world gen is probably enough on it’s own

[likeadog]

okay so im seeing people get anons about this and its coming up in friend groups so i think now's actually a pretty good time to tackle the idea of religious (specifically cultic) abuse in media and how we as an audience interact with it

TLDR: dehumanization and sexualization of cult victims furthers the misunderstanding that cults "don't exist now", and RA survivors would feel much safer in fandom spaces if people acknowledged and analyzed the harmful portrayals of cults in media.

cw: discussions of cults, abuse, and sexual assault

also, if you have questions, please shoot me an ask or dm (off anon preferably, though)

let me start this with a disclaimer that i dont think every media that features ra is inherently bad. i think thats a bit harsh and as an ra survivor ive come to terms with the fact that there are going to be depictions of it in ways that maybe dont give it the respect it deserves, and trying to "what about [x]" everything will only lead people to talking in circles with themselves. what i want to address here is how you, as a consumer, respond to and parse out what cultic abuse means in any particular portrayal of it.

*also please don't harass people about their RAS status, like, if you see someone enjoying something with a less than stellar portrayal of cults, don't send them asks or dms like "well are YOU a cult survivor?" reducing the consumption of media to a yes or no game based on identity-- especially an identity that comes as the result of explicit pain and spiritual violation is not only derivative but also degrading to survivors and the people you're grilling. all we want is for people to think carefully about what they spread and portray, and how they think about those situations.

so, i think the first thing to tackle is...what is a cult? This is something that's surprisingly hard to define, especially in fictional settings with fictional cults. For example, (and pardon the use of this example, I don't feel like hunting for others), My Hero Academia has an organization in it that I would say fits the criteria for being a cult, but by and large isn't considered one by fans because it's not explicitly called a cult. (Although numerous cult jokes have been made about it). It also has an organization that IS explicitly referred to as a cult.

So, when you're dealing with how to process what is and is not a cult-- and how to make your presence safe for RA survivors, you have to be able to sift through more than just "did the narrative tell me this is a cult?"

There's a few different models people use; one of the most popular being the BITE model-- but I should clarify that the BITE model is really tailored towards religious and strictly hierarchal cults, but can be applied to other kinds of cults.

(and yes, there are cults other than religious/spiritual ones. corporate cults and wellness cults have been on the rise, and it's good to keep that in mind both when engaging with media and also in the real world.)

However, I'm a religious cult survivor, so a lot of my experience is strictly irt this, so please take what I say with a grain of salt, and know that I don't speak for every cult survivor, every religious cult survivor, or every religious abuse survivor. I am One Guy on the internet.

When it comes to media, I have a few questions I run through in order to figure out if something is A Cult.

1) Fringe Ideas. This one is one of those that most people know-- and often incorrectly use to attribute cult status to other things. However, it is worth mentioning, that you don't become a cult by following mainstream ideologies. BUT. BUT. not every group with weird ideas is a cult! Some groups are just weird and are fine being weird. It's a rectangles and squares situation. All cults have fringe ideas and behaviors, not all fringe ideas and behaviors belong to cults.

2) Hierarchies. Cults always have people in power, at least in my experience. There have been ideas thrown around about "completely decentralized cults"-- but to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about that concept, and I don't know enough about it personally to say whether or not it's legitimate. If you have any sources, hmu.

BUT. Most cults have a power structure. You're going to have leaders, usually with a handful at the verrrrry tippy top, whose word is law. This can be associated with things like religious ideas (channelling god) or being "a genius", like in corporate cults.

3) Control. I cannot stress this enough; cults are all about control. How you think, feel, behave-- they discourage critical thought, encourage snitching on each other, buddy-group behavior; the BITE model explicitly lists these models of control.

4) Us V Them. Cults will give all those that oppose them or simply don't believe them a bad name. They're uneducated, they're evil-- it varies cult to cult, but you'll see them turning the non believers into a homogenous, frightening group. They want to discourage looking outwards, and they want to viciously isolate members.

Other things of note are extremism, talks of enlightenment, harsh punishments, the cult eating large portions of the member's finances, etc.

However, this post is largely to address FICTIONAL cults. and the unfortunate fact of the matter is that fictional cults are rarely fleshed out in a way that can be held one to one to a model, and, more often, don't even afford the victims of a cult humanity.

and this is one of THE biggest issues you find in cult portrayals. the leader is usually a charismatic, or perhaps menacing, figure, one that usually our protagonists-- who are rarely cult victims, they are typically outsiders (not inherently bad, mind you)-- faces personally, with the hoardes of mindless zombies forming one giant hurdle.

Naturally, this can be...hurtful. There's nuance to who is and is not a victim in a cult (although my rule of thumb is to look at what abuses that person specifically exerts over others-- and you can be both a victim and perpetrator of abuse. to treat them exclusively is lacking all nuance), but the people are the bottom, even if they joined willingly, are people who were preyed upon. Not only that, but many media cults forget that people can be born into cults, and never really had a choice to begin with. To treat these people like they are mindless-- or that they deserve the suffering they are in because they are there-- completely erases all nuance, humanity, and understanding to the cult survivior struggle. Not only that, but it continues to sensationalize and deify cult leaders, which is doing their job for them, really.

The second biggest issue is the romanticization and sexualization of cults, religious abuse, and cultic abuse.

(yes...this is a thing.)

The use of cults as a way to make a character edgy or tragic is one thing, but there's something sinister about using it to project a certain sexual behavior onto that character-- whether it be as the subjugator or subjugated. Sexual abuse is rampent in cults, and ritualistic sexual abuse is used to justify it. To sexualize the idea of a cult(ist) raping and abusing someone is...beyond offensive to anyone who has been in a cult where their sexual safety and autonomy has been compromised. Or, in some cases, the cultist is so naive and sheltered they can be easily coerced and taken advantage of due to their brainwashing.

This is...bad? This is bad. To ignore the fact that these depictions are just as harmful as any other romanticization of abuse is to ignore the real suffering of cult victims.

Really, the larger problem is that people don't really think cults exist, not really. They're all things of the past, or things that exist solely in fiction-- when in reality, every day cults form and continue to grow. If you've ever met a mormon, you've met a cultist. The moment you begin to process and parce the fact that this isn't as bizarre and unusual and fictional as it seems, you take the steps to respecting people who have been in that situation and become better at detecting cults, cult recruitment, and are able to more clearly assess what you take in.

Once again, there's so many bad portrayal of cults that it would be...stupid to call for an immediate disowning of anything with it in it. I personally have come to terms with the idea that I will have gripes about these portrayals in most cases, but rarely do I see people other than fellow RA or cult survivors discussing these portrayals. I'm hoping people can become more aware and willing to discuss cults in a serious and analytical context and criticize how they're portrayed in the things they love.

And once again, cult survivors are NOT a monolith. If a cult survivor expresses they are uncomfortable with something I said here that I'm not, or vice versa, listen to the people who actively surround you and whom you care about.

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. The trial happening right now bothers me because we get to see how Thanatos and Echo reacted to this, but Demeter and Persphone don’t know and I know why they don’t know yet. However you think that would tie some more stuff up together

It was Minthe, Thanatos and Thetis who whistle blew on Persphone. Meaning Thanatos would probably be called to trial and would have to face persphone and I would hope say something to her BUT I kinda doubt that’s gonna happen.

But the other thing to this Minthe is a plant who can’t testify. Are hades and Persphone hide the fact she’s a plant and pretend she’s missing or are they gonna say “yeah I still don’t have control over my powers but I’m queen now” HOWEVER I truly believe RS is just gonna not address these two plot points until way later.

FINALLY Eros and Psyche KNOW the last person Daphne was seen with was Apollo, did they chase after her after he got shot by the arrow? We don’t know. We don’t even know what they’re doing about Psyche. Did Eros and Psyche even see the Daphne tree? Are they going to try and sneak in to tell Persphone?

I know the plots gonna focus more on HxP secret marriage at the court trial rather than the actual consequences and the fact people are turning into greenery left and right. (It’s not Persohones Faullt Daphne is the way she is but RS needs to focus on other plot points I feel)

2. like, age gaps, height differences, and power imbalances dont always have to be bad, the issue to me is that the way rachel does it is hyper-focusing on how young, small, and child-like/unexperienced persephone is compared to the old, giant, and all powerful/mature hades is like ... yeah obvs people are going to find it creepy? how would they not?

3. i honestly cant stand the "theyre immortal gods the age gap doesnt matter!!" agreement because like??? ok??? then she could easily be 300 years old then? she shouldnt be so borderline underage then?? like the immortality aspect actually makes the age gap worse, not better??

4. i realize getting nitpicky over unimportant characters in lo having american names is a bit dumb, but it does speak to just how lazy rachel is and how little care she has for greece and its mythology. there are countless english names that are also greek, yet even that's asking too much of her. percy jackson isnt a perfect series, but even the characters (who are in america) have greek influence and meanings put into their names and characterization, something rachel doesn't even attempt to do.

5. ok but thats a good point, because rachel seems to be taking physical wounds to matter more over the mental ones, when thats not how trauma works. her writing on zeus is reflective of her writing minthe, where she confirmed she has a severe untreated mental illness and that's linked to her evilness, and thus what she should be punished for. meanwhile persephone own mental issues can be bastardized as a "yass queen" thing?? somehow?? its just bad writing all around.

6. i kinda wish lo fans would listen to their own logic and give the same leeway to the other characters. theyll scream from the rooftops that hades and persephone and hera can be awful people all they want because thats ~realistic~, meanwhile minthe and zeus and everyone else are held to such extremes they can never meet and are hated and despised for nothing in compared to hxp or hera. either hold your faves accountable or let off on hating characters who do the same as them.

7. i see a lot of lo fans excuse how everything drags as "thats how a slow burn works" and its like ... no? because most of that slow burn isnt even hxp, its rachel forcing in more plots we dont need, and when its hxp, you look at the timeline and how they act and its actually neck-breakingly fast? like if as much time had past in LO as irl time then yeah, four years is a slow burn, but its only been maybe a month in comic? so its not slow for them at all, but it's a drag for the readers.

8. See, the difference between Lo!Hades and Punderworld!Hades is that PW!Hades has so much personality, he and Persephone are literally bustling with life (even though one of them rules over a realm of dead XD) AND their interactions are so cute with their awkward attempts at flirting and failure at doing so. Persephone is still somewhat sweet and “pure” but she’s also a bit of a spitfire, she’s not easy to surrender, she has wants and dreams and that little differences makes her character likable!

We NEVER get to see anything like that with LO!Hades and Persephone, we don’t see them have these sweet interactions, these heart-fluttering moments, because there’s no base or foundation for those sorts of moments! It’s always these very out-of-character unrealistic scenes expected from a married couple, but they just met! It doesn’t feel natural, it feels forced and rushed and so slow at the same time.

Although Punderworld makes Demeter overbearing, i love her characterization i really do, waAAAY more than LO!Demeter, because we actually understand her reasons for her overprotective behavior and we get to see her in a more sympathetic light/manner in the newer chapters, we see her as more than “mean mom hates bf”

9. Daphne and Thanatos were adorable. Like, Daphne was a sweet, caring girl with genuine interest (and power/agency) and Thanatos was a shy, awkward guy who was just doing his best (and not pressuring her). They weren't perfect, but it was something! Why couldn't LO be about them?

10. What I find funny is that Minthe and Thetis have a more defined friendship than Persphone and other female characters.

Minthe and Thetis ARE TOXIC don’t get me wrong but both characters are aware of each other’s motives. Minthe knows not to trust Thetis fully and is straight with her on her opinion of Thetis. But the readers clearly know their relationship as well as the characters.

Persphone is in gray areas with most her female friends. The beginning of the story we are lead to believe Artemis and P are besties with the dress sharing and the way in P’s mind they’re holding hands with Hermès. But clearly now their relationship is a question mark and they’re both more detached than we thought. Artemis was just being nice to P letting her stay with her because they’re both in the TOGeM but they’re probably more like acquaintes at best.

Daphne and P we know they’re friends but P isn’t straight with her. Like Daphne is P’s only named friend, but did P think of her as the other overbearing nymphs? We don’t know because they’re all pink and some of them are dead. Despite being told they grew up together we don’t even know much about their relationship what do they like about each other? Does Daphne agree with Demeters parenting or P’s need to leave? When did Daphne get to move to Olympus? I feel like the plot just says “these two characters are friends “ but doesn’t elaborate much. Why did P let Daphne in her room at Hades mansion and not the other nymphs? P told Daphne that Apollo is dangerous, but it was a little too late. Also why didn’t P have her phone number when she got to Olympus? Wouldn’t she know to contact her on insta or something? P was like “omg I know no one except Hermès “ but that’s not true! Daphne! I could go more but I think we get the picture that Daphne’s plot point is having the readers be told Persphone has friends but she doesn’t but she does.

Were shown that P and Meg are getting along because P was nice to Meg, despite Meg being silently jealous of P, but what about Meg now? Is she ever gonna tell P that she’s jealous of P that she had a mad crush on Hades, even her journal? Or is that all gone now? Does Meg even matter any more or is she now here just to support HXP?

[theunconcernedembalmer]

what’s the issue with elisop? is it just bc you hc aesop as ace? im so concerned by seeing ppl adamantly opposed to mlm/wlw ships but im also genuinely curious about why you dislike it and other lgbt ships so much lol

hmm. that is a strong accusation, n i find it just a bit odd. are you new here? or perhaps you are taking personal offense at my dislike towards a favourite ship of yours and using the lgbt argument as moral high ground?

whatever the case may be, i thank you for asking. if u r truly looking for an answer, its below the cut n it is very very long. mind u these are all my personal opinions n i am in no way policing how others enjoy ships. just in case this wasnt clear; i dont wish to start discourse on this blog, especially since my takes are probably... unpopular.

firstly i would like to address the “disliking lgbt ships” bit, because this has very strong implications in itself. i have nothing against lgbt ships. i enjoy them, even. if the two characters have chemistry between each other, i ship it. however, the moment characterization is broken for the sake of romance, i lose interest. this is generally my stance on ships in general, n this applies for both straight n lgbt ships. 

the ships themselves are fine. however, i do have issues with the ship dynamics, so ill let u in on that.

i want to touch on mlm ships in particular; i believe u are familiar with the top/bottom dynamic that is rampant in these kinds of ships? (i wont deny that this dynamic can be found in other types of ships, but for arguments sake i will be focusing on gay ships because i feel that this occurs more commonly here) its such a popular dynamic that is prone to stripping the personality from one if not both characters, only for them to be reduced to being dominant/submissive. for a character to be pigeonholed into a stereotypical category based on... preferred sexual positions? its just downright insulting, never mind the larger more problematic implications of it. top/bottom is not indicative of someones personality, by the way. flattening multi dimensional characters into these stereotypes is so so so insulting.

unfortunately this is The Most Popular portrayal of just about any gay ship around. ive seen it being used everywhere in so many fandoms n it just about becomes apparent to me that ppl come to stories looking for a Ship. not the stories, nor the characters, just a ship. while id like to say theres nothing wrong with that, keep in mind not everyone is just looking for 2 characters that look pretty next to each other. if i ship something, i see interesting n meaningful interactions between 2 characters, which is so often not the case once u bring in the top/bottom dynamic. why is it so popular? because somehow this is what ppl like from a gay ship n hence it sells. ppl want the drama, characterizations be damned. ppl want to see the big kiss that happens in the end, n maybe the sexy parts that come after. characterizations be damned.

so u can say im a little wary of gay ships when they cross my feed. hell, as a joseph aesop shipper i see this trope everywhere n im pretty disappointed as well. small tangent but i feel like this is the reason why zh0ngli n ch1lde is so popular in g3nshin. i try to see the appeal, i really do, but after a long while of analyzing their respective characters i dont think they have as much chemistry as ppl think they do. dont even get me started on how incredibly ooc they make either of these very interesting n unique characters in ship portrayals. all because of the top/bottom dynamic that ppl want to see. i say this for that particular ship, but this is pretty much the case for a lot of ships out there, n the latter part is painfully true even when the 2 characters do have potential between each other. ill say it again im disgusted by the blatant disrespect to the characterizations if all ppl ever want is 2 pretty puppets to mush lips together. cos thats what theyre essentially reduced to this way.

n its so obvious to see when an artist subscribes to this rhetoric, because u can so clearly see it in the way they draw their characters. the “top” generally has sharper features to go with their “dominating personality”, while the “bottom” has disturbingly softer, feminine, dare i say sometimes child like features “to submit”. n thats where the uwu soft gay trope comes from, i believe. which, in case u still dont know, i hate with a burning passion.

so again for ppl with impaired reading comprehension, im fine with ships, including lgbt ones, but the moment u break characterization for the sake of the ship, im not that okay with it. u want to do it for a short crack comic? fine. but if thats the only way ur portraying the 2 characters then im immediately wary of ur content. ill still look at it cos usually the art is really good, but im very very wary. so im not “adamantly opposed”, just very critical of how the ships are being portrayed. if other ppl want to enjoy their ships like that, sure. just dont expect me to join in on something i dont agree on.

.

now id like to address not shipping “because i hc aesop as ace”. for ppl who are new to the blog (hello there), im an ace in a romantic relationship, so thats definitely not the reason i dont ship elisop. its more of being in a relationship has largely shaped my views towards romance as a whole. even before i met my boyfriend, i hated the romance genre in stories n media. most of it comes off as incredibly forced, especially those love triangles they seem to love putting into teen novels. thats one reason why i stopped reading when i was younger, but i digress.

did i partake in shipping when i was younger? i did. for a gay ship too (if anyone really wants to know, its kurotsukki from haikyuu. at least this was one that i can remember, i was mostly working on my 20 odd ocs for the longest time). i also used to write little short romance ficlets that i never posted anywhere cos i hated (n still do hate) my writing. but writing romance when u dont have experience was really just a way of projecting n probably a way of coping for myself, not that i knew at that time. but after i actually started a relationship with my boyfriend (whom i love n cherish a lot thank u very much), i began to see how much all these have skewed my views towards romance n have actually done some harm to our relationship. the bullshit that the general media feeds u constantly doesnt help in the slightest either.

quick topic shift to elisop in particular (about time, right?). i already stated that i only ship characters if i sense chemistry between the two personalities, n if u have seen the part where i dont ship elisop then u must have seen how agonized i am over not being able to have a concrete personality for eli. that is the main problem i have with elisop: eli does not feel like a solid character to me. n that is a huge problem, because if he doesnt have any defining characteristics besides being mild n nice, then he can be whoever i want him to be. (i have done this in my exorcist comics, i will admit this. n the fact that i can just do that... it really does not sit well with me personally.)

n that is dangerous.

back to young me doing lil ship things. i think its also pretty safe to say when u really do ship 2 characters, chances are u kinda really relate very very hard to at least one of them. that very quickly can turn into projecting, n shipping therefore is not “exploring the relationship between 2 characters” n it becomes “my preferred dating simulator 101″. of course this isnt always the case, but at least it was for me, n subconsciously it might be for lots of ppl too. n since this is ur mental playground, u call the shots, n there is no consequences if u slightly (or even entirely) alter one or both personalities to fit ur desired narrative. n u wouldnt even notice or know, cos ur blind to ur own biasness.

we bring our perceived notions into real life, im sure u know that. so when ur partner does not become that perfect knight in shining armour, or when they get upset at things that u do (which is a very normal thing by the way), n u think (very subconsciously), That isnt what my otp would do, something is wrong here (nothing is wrong, actually its just ur skewed perception of a stable romantic relationship). why wouldnt ur otp do this? because u are both halves of ur otps, there is no hidden secrets between them (apart from the pining part but thats irrelevant), n again they have been altered to fit ur preferred narrative. 

a real relationship requires a lot of communication between parties, because newsflash, liking someone doesnt mean that u have to like every single thing they do, they will make mistakes n it will hurt u, n guess what, the reverse is also true. if u do go with absoutely anything that they would do with 0 objections whatsoever, ur not crushing on someone, ur idolizing them, n that power imbalance is detrimental to a relationship. these things are not obvious to ppl, especially when the whole climate is hell bent on getting into romantic relationships by a certain age or some bullshit. communication is key n is pretty much the only way to solve relationship issues, because the other person has a lot that u r not seeing n vice versa. as similar as 2 ppl can be, i doubt u can have 100% the same thoughts on all things. i dont make the rules.

so in ur mental playground u focus on the fluffy parts, maybe there is communication, but rarely is there any meaningful conflict. thats unrealistic, n if u bring that mindset to an actual relationship, thats not going to end well. i say meaningful conflict, because yes, generally u shouldnt have conflicts with ur significant other. but inevitably when ur with each other for long enough, u will realize that there are habits that u must change in order to be with the other person. habits that are harmful to the other person directly, or harmful habits towards yourself that indirectly harm the other person. these are meaningful in a sense that if left alone, it will manifest into larger problems that will harm u, the other person n the relationship as a whole. its meaningful to the relationship.

all these is made even worse if ur neurodivergent. maladaptive coping practices, self sabotaging behaviours, inherent disabilities. all these must be adjusted n addressed. im so incredibly thankful for my boyfriend for being incredibly patient with me when working all these out, n it has not been easy for me to work on myself n all my problems, n im still not done working on them. this aspect is often not explored in romance in general (or properly), n there is a very good chance i would have still been stuck in the unhealthy mindset of “this isnt like my otp, maybe we’re not meant to be”. because loving someone is a choice. no one is made for each other, it is a conscious choice made between 2 ppl to make things work. this is how arranged marriages work, i am told, n i do see the appeal, not that it actually does appeal to me culturally.

special mention to the kurotsukki ship, cos from there i found a very, very good fic that explored their relationship before n after getting together, n it actually showed aspects of this problem in the incredibly slow burn of (at that time) 20+ chapters. it was just one fic (n a very good one at that, i believe it was called Leviticus), but it had a lesson i never thought i needed to learn, n learn it i did, with a lot of help from my dear. 

this is also probably the reason why i dont really want to delve too much into romance now. i know its a lot of work, n everything (mostly) that the media feeds u is really false advertising, but ppl eat that shit up n so it remains one of the most popular genres to date. im just very wary that if i do start on a romantic story, i want to be able to show it in a way like that fic did, the truths of relationships, because i dont want to make something that sells, i want to make something that meaningful to me, if a little indulgent. n that also includes being very careful in how the respective characterizations will change in a relationship. almost too careful now that i think about it, but its not something that i mind. i was never one for romance from the start, n now im very careful about shipping because of what happened to me persoanlly.

okay enough about me, lets talk about aesop. in any au u put the character in, the essence of the character must remain despite the change in environment. so lets say we have ur typical modern au. dead mom, check. shitty mentor doing illegal stuff? also check. autistic boy with social anxiety? we’re good to go. all these have implications on aesop as a character, n while ppl are aware of this, again the way they go about portraying it can go, in my personal opinion, very wrong. ppl who immediately woobify aesop completely because he has autism annoy me. ppl who reduce him to uwu soft boi cos he has social anxiety do not know how the disorder really works n as someone who has that i hate it to the core. ppl who do all these for the sake of ship have lost my respect. its insulting.

remember the top/bottom dynamic? not that elisop is completely free from that (even if i dont know much about eli, to put him in either one of those stereotypes feels very insulting to his character. i wont even say anything about doing it to aesop its so upsetting), but its not entirely made up of either. but now i want to introduce another trope i am very wary of, which is “i can fix him”. im sure u guys have seen the meme going around poking fun at this trope (for those who havent, its along the lines of “u can fix him? well i can be his worst nightmare”) n no doubt yall would have seen it n gotten sick of it in some forced hetero romantic bullshit. we have one damsel in distress with a saviour that solves all their problems just by existing n being romo with each other.

remember “my preferred dating simulator 101″? this is not mutually exclusive n from my point of view this is dangerously close to this trope. lets be real, if it was actually a thing that all ur deep rooted trauma magically disappears if someone were to waltz into ur life, we would want it. definitely. no painfully dissecting ur own problems n constantly facing them head on. real life states that this is not the case, but it will not stop us from dreaming. n so this trope is born n lives n will go on.

(finally) pulling aesop n eli into this, at least in my mind, u have one severely traumatized boy with lots of issues n u have this. nice mild guy who can be anything u want him to be. i hope u can see where im going with this, n thats the direction i see some elisop heading towards (i dont read a lot of elisop to be fair). if u came from my eli character talk, i mentioned that it is incredibly one sided. this is exactly what im talking about.

putting it all together in case u havent already, aesop is the damsel in distress, whose problems magically disappear because of elis godly kindness n little to no work on improving himself, n they lived happily n gayly ever after.

can u tell how much that does not appeal to me. 

never mind the butchering of character that inevitably happens somewhere somehow, the unrealistically perfect themes n implications of this trope makes me so viscerally uncomfortable. this is, of course, due to personal reasons, n i definitely see the appeal of this dynamic because i would probably have been interested in this once upon a time as well. but as i am now, with everything i have explained up there n everything i have been through, i would politely rather not.

n its difficult to think of another dynamic, because of how little i know about eli apart from him being this saint, which easily makes him a candidate for being aesops trauma panacea. never mind aesop rarely, if ever, does anything for eli as a character in return, n its so damaging to buy into this rhetoric, where a person like this who would solve all ur issues no strings attached exists somewhere in the world. they really dont. a relationship has to be mutually benefitting, or it will be draining n disastrous. maybe u say, Oh its nice to imagine it once in a while. n yeah, i agree, except once in a while is a little difficult to keep track of n that is sort of what happened to me. id rather stay as far away as possible from this kind of unrealistic fantasy, i just got this shit sorted out with myself n my boyfriend.

i have some other reasons, but theyre more personally problematic, so i wont go into them here. but this is mostly n generally why i do not ship elisop romantically. if u do, u do u, and have fun, but again dont expect me to join u. thank u for coming to my ted talk, this took a lot longer than expected.

[h0neyjaehyun]

☁︎ 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐎𝐤𝐚𝐲 ☁︎

Summary // Tali sees her leader overwhelmed with all the members that appeared for the new black on black comeback and seemed to almost breakdown.

Characters // Talia Flores + Lee Taeyong (mentions: Nct Members ot 18, blackpink,Miguel, her mother)

Era / Year // May 2018

Word Count //

⚠️Warning⚠️ // breakdown, stress,

Tali always admired Taeyong. She knew he made mistakes in his past and he wanted to make up for them. She related to that, she didn't know what he did, but did relate to the feeling of redemption.

Tali's past was filled with vandalism, running away from the cops etc. She always admired Taeyong for his patiences, and he is one of the people that would fit the description of a person's past does not define them, it only defines how they came to be.

Tali came back from a Blackpink practice, tired of all the rules she has to learn again, since she hasn't had a comeback in Blackpink in a year basically. She has performed but nothing more. She had to relearn some rules to follow since they all are from different companies and all need a unique rules to fit them. At the moment they are trying to decide if Tali is allowed to have interaction with NCT when she is with Blackpink, since most female groups are not allowed to interact with male idols, some even if they are in the same company.

They are leading towards a no, so it can be fair with Rin as she has yet to debut in a boy group. She thinks its ridiculous, but gets it at the same time, they won't really hear her out since she only 18 and people think she doesn't know any better. So whats the point, and the thing is she has to tell her leader, and as a position as co-leader is basically needed so she can help control the dreamies especially right now since they are all together in a big group of 19.

She feels bad knowing they are probably gonna say no to be able to interact with them and putting all the responsiblity on their leader.

She walked to his room unsure on how to tell him, the problem thats probably gonna occur. She knocked on his door and stepped back to give some room to open the door.

"Oh Tali, do you need something?" Taeyong asked wondering why she is here instead of dreamies dorm.

"I need to talk to you about something."

"Yeah sure come on in."

Tali moved on his bed and he sat next to her.

"So, we had a meeting today about rules in Blackpink since all the girls are from different companies and groups. Since Im a girl in a group of boys they are thinking not to let me interact with you guys when Im with Blackpink." Tali finished now looking at Taeyong for some type of reaction. But he didn't react he was frozen. Shocked on how just because she is in a group of boys that she is not allowed to interact with because she is around girls how does that make sense. Then he thought, isn't she a co- leader too??

"Did you tell them that your the co- leader of the group, and that you need to be there so we have help to have things under control?" Taeyong asked now worried when the group is together, since the others are still young. Yes, some are the same age as Tali but they don't have the leadership skills like Tali does when it comes down to it as in decision making and work.

Tali nodded her head yes, "They shoved it off like it was nothing, they said because I was just 18 I didn't know much." Tali stated.

Taeyong was done he was frustrated and tired from the comebacks to the trying to make the new members comfortable, then making sure he sees everything is under control, and then this happens.

He was just frustrated.

Tali knew it was coming, the breakdown. She saw it build up from the starting of this month. She didnt know how to approach him so she figured giving him information that probably he won't like would make him click into letting it all out. She didn't want him to hold it all in, and she always busy so in that moment she took advantage of to help her leader.

Taeyong started crying out of frustration, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he kept repeating apologies crumbling down in Tali's arms. "What are you sorry for you didn't do anything wrong?" Tali said softly, playing with his hair trying the comfort him. "I'm just so tired and frustrated and I was happy to have your help then you tell me this and your getting discriminated." Taeyong just kept saying all his thoughts, slowing laying down on Tali, crying in her neck.

"Yongie"

"Yes"

"Your a great leader, whether you know it or not. I couldn't ask for a better leader, your understanding and patient, have a great personality. Always supportive and bubbly. Always looking forward for a good time, caring for your chaotic members. Its fine to feel this way and please, when you feel this way its okay to come to me too, as you said im the co-leader after all." Tali said softly rubbing his back and playing with his hair noticing he going to sleep.

"Tali."

"Hm?"

"Thank you for everything you've done for me, your probably tired from all the comebacks you're so strong, one day I hope I can be as strong as you." Taeyong whispered.

Tali froze at the comment, noticing that he fell asleep. Tali thought I'm not strong no where near, I couldn't even leave her behind, I let her effect me.

Tali's phone dinged she grabbed it successfully without waking up Taeyong and it came from her brother.

Miguel:We have a problem

Tali:What kind of problem?

Miguel:She left a package for me...

Tali was stunned, she didn't want to think who it actually was, not her

Tali:No Miguel don't pull this with me

Miguel:Why the hell would I lie about this she sent me a package Talia its pictures of you and your members out eating, and I'm pretty sure you didn't post these picture.

Tali was scared, not for her life but her members. Her mother was crazy. And if she sent this to her brother she knows, she is back in town and ready to do crazy things. Only her friends and Straykids understand and its only in the middle of summer.

Tali started silently crying out of fear. She never cried about a sasaengs when they sent her pictures out with a member or playing with a dog mostly because its more bark and no bite. But her mother has bite.

Tali looked down at Taeyong who was pasted out hugging her tightly. She hug him back afriad he would go away and leave her alone then she went into deep slumber with her memories slowing fading away into peaceful sleep.

But Thanksgiving was coming, which means family, which means, her show.

[dazaiapologism]

Preach! Oda never understood Dazai, he was just the only one who underestimated him and saw a lonely lost teenager. He is completely unable to see the bigger picture as Dazai points out before the other runs in his demise. This simplicity and naïvety made Dazai like him (as pointed out in dead apple) but also as portrayed in Beast makes it very obvious that Oda never saw Dazai, because he is the same lost person as Dark Era Dazai but Oda can't blame it on an adult behind him, so he blames Dazai

Like I don't get the obsession of him being good for Dazai, and the only one who understand him, if he were Beast Dazai would have been alive because Oda would have seen that he was just the same as Dark Era Dazai. But he doesn't because Oda has never been able to see behind the act to see the motivation, he only sees the masks. Chuuya on the contrary sees the desired outcome Dazai has in mind and deciphers the act. Hence, Chuuya can not exist in Beast other than being vaguely mentioned.

ok disclaimer i have not read beast but from where im at in reading dark era, my sense is that oda in general does not understand how to look past the surface, and even when things begin to hint at being more complicated, he actively avoids making it deep, even to the point of willfully denying reasonable conclusions. he doesn’t seem to have fully conceptualized what the mafia does, he very doggedly refuses to accept ango being a traitor pretty much until he is directly personally betrayed.

on one hand right thats very obviously appealing to dazai bc everyone else in his life is playing 4d chess with their own secret rules, and i get that too its like the idea of just relaxing and saying what you mean and are thinking sounds so blissful and indulgent. on the other hand, oda’s ability tells us he DOES have that sixth sense for things happening under the surface, he just refuses to acknowledge it unless it directly threatens his own life. 

his whole deal is that he refuses to kill, because it would mean he can’t write a novel, right? so on some level he recognizes the inherent gravity of taking a life. and yet still when dazai starts talking its like all of that goes out the window. he’s so focused on the fact that he’s a grunt and dazai is an executive and how that must define the way they interact (even when he is explicitly given permission to throw that mentality out), he cant even properly conceive of what talking to him as a peer would be like. which is stupid. they’re fucking friends. he should be able to tell that despite the difference in organizational rank, dazai would happily listen to what he says. 

there’s a line where oda is like ‘if it werent for the difference in rank i would’ve punched him’ YOU SHOULD HAVE. LITERALLY YOU SHOULD HAVE. it honestly feels like cowardice, plain and simple, that he cant speak up about it. i mean this is all the POINT of oda’s character, its why his dying words are so unsatisfying and hopeless, its why he had to die, to reinforce that the way he was living was always flawed. it doesnt make his death any less tragic, especially considering there were parts of the way he lived that dazai was able to carry forward, but im gonna plant myself firmly in the oda critical camp here.

[queerloquial]

1. First game you played obsessively?2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?69. In your opinion, best game ever made?

1. First game you played obsessively?

babys first video game and major special interest, skyrim. which i currently have roughly 1500-plus hours on between regular and special edition

2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.

the vast majority of my fic has been for dragon age. its just such a neat world and i love getting to play around in it, even though i dislike a lot of what biowares done with their own setting in later pieces and prefer to sandbox on my own

11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?

well first of all, dragon age brought me to the love of my life, so jot that down :>

second, aside from my darling datemate, video game fandom did land me some awesome mutuals, a number of whom are still around years later even though we share almost no interests and barely ever interact. technically quinns the only one who could be defined as a friend, bc we talk fairly regularly and stuff, but aside from the occasional reply to personal posts most of my mutuals are silent but still dear to my heart

36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?

when i get frustrated i tend to slam my hand down beside me or on my knee but one time i misjudged the landing spot and caught my hand on the edge of my laptop and scraped my hand, does that count

48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?

chargen takes an hour, minimum, and thats if im familiar with the cc and have a character in mind already

50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?

dudebruh, idk. the first thing in my head was ‘ace and aro friendly romance/qplatonic relationship arcs’ and ‘canon nonbinary characters’, so i guess thats a thing. ive never been particularly good at plots (hence, why all my fic is one-shot fluff...), altho i did once have an ongoing story in my head about a fallen god trying to get back to the overworld to stop the ruling goddess from destroying everything, and maybe in the process clear his name with the mortals who had hated and feared him for centuries if not millenia bc the goddess had warped the legends to reverse their roles and paint him as the callous self-centered destroyer instead of the literal author of life whose job had been to keep the record books of history so that no soul faded from eternal memory

maybe something with that

69. In your opinion, best game ever made?

uhhhh. shit. i mean theyve all got high and low points, and some i like more for the sandbox they gave me than for anything in canon. i like dragon age: origins and da2, but dao is tedious to replay and i feel like in order to get my ideal ending in 2 i have to trawl the wiki and plan out all my dialogue choices and party constructions for each quest before i start playing. inquisition is pretty and i liked the story i crafted with my lavellan (and also being a knight enchanter, even after the nerf its still super powerful with the right skills picked), but it doesnt really fit other ocs and the first several hours are a drag to play

ive enjoyed what ive played of andromeda so far, although it really couldve benefited from more development time and care from the parent company. i liked me1 and what ive completed of 2, though im terrible at combat, and dont often have the spoons for the level of concentration needed to pay attention to plot things (which is why i like exploration-heavy games, tbh)

fallout 4 is one of my favorites, id say. i tried new vegas, with two different characters,and just couldnt get into it. i think my biggest problem with 4 is that it kinda forces you into a specific character at certain points (ranging from having a nuclear family at the start and automatic attachment to your spouse and child, to being limited in good options in nuka world, down to the very trivial bit in the bradberton quest where you can only object to letting him live bc then you dont get cool weapons, and not bc /hes been living essentially in solitary confinement for 200 years/ and wants to rest, which i only remember so strongly bc i was going through my screenshots the other night and got grumpy about it all over again)

saints row is a series i like almost exclusively for the sandbox. my boss’ life follows maybe 10% of game canon; it might as well be an original work that just happens to have cities called stilwater and steelport and a gang known as the saints

dream daddy was cute and fun (and i Love damian and mary, and also amanda, best daughter), skyrim is my longest-running game and i enjoyed oblivion as well, starbound fulfills my need for mindless exploration and resource hoarding without the need for any plot or direction, stardew valley is adorable and lets me be a polyamorous bi nerdlord with a sweet farm...

i cant really pick a favorite tbh

[mythcarved-archive-blog]

RULES.  repost , don’t  reblog  !    tag  10 TAGGED.   you know i’m a bitch who loves to steal memes. TAGGING. any of my crit role rp folks who want to do this

BASICS.

FULL  NAME : scanlan shorthalt NICKNAME :   scanman, shorty, the meat man, burt reynolds, kingslayer. AGE :   unknown ( somewhere between forty to one hundred years ) BIRTHDAY :  unknown LANGUAGE / S :  gnomish, common, marquesian. SEXUAL  ORIENTATION :  pansexual ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION :  biromantic RELATIONSHIP  STATUS :  single HOME  TOWN / AREA :  unknown CURRENT  HOME :  transient/ank’harel/whitestone/greyskull keep PROFESSION :  bard, tal’dorei high councilman, the meat man

PHYSICAL.

HAIR :  brown & kept long, usually tied back into a pony tail, save for the untamable cowlicks that stick up in front. he has some thick side burns too. EYES :  greyish/purple, large and bright (every time matt describes gnome eyes as beady i’m ready to FIGHT) FACE :  heart shaped / long. high cheek bones, defined jawline.  LIPS :  full but perpetually drawn back to reveal a toothy grin COMPLEXION :  he has very very very faint freckles but once he gets that marquesian tan they’re fairly prominent. BLEMISHES : aside from the cowlicks and scraggly facial hair, he is a vision of beauty. SCARS : deep grooves on the palms of both hands. several large and deep claw marks that reach from his torso to his stomach, courtesy of raishan. a small but plainly visible slash under his right eye. TATTOOS : a wide variety of nonsensical but sentimental tiny vintage tatts including but not limited to; a moustache on the inside his index finger, a sprig of juniper over his heart and a hand with it’s fingers crossed on the back of his neck. (he plans to get kaylie’s name tattoo’d in some gaudily fancy script eventually) HEIGHT : 3′5″ WEIGHT : roughly the weight of a small child, whatever that might be. BUILD : the definition of dad-bod. his stomach is pudgy and although there is definitely some muscle mass its still fairly flabby. if one looks hard enough theres some evidence of past malnutrition but most of it carries in his face. ALLERGIES : none. USUAL  HAIR  STYLE :  tied back and messy. USUAL  FACE  LOOK :  a perpetual grin that spells trouble and hides any characteristics deeper than ‘funny man and endless flirt’. USUAL  CLOTHING : extravagant and opulent. anything that gives away the fact that he’s got money and is maybe a little too self-preoccupied and it’s probably something purple or maroon. lots of ear piercings, six on each ear in fact. 

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S :  powerlessness, poverty, not being good enough, change, death/dying. ASPIRATION / S :  to be a good father / be a better person just in general POSITIVE  TRAITS : bold / charismatic / quick-witted / humorous / courageous NEGATIVE  TRAITS :  deceitful / salacious / reckless / arrogant / self-absorded MBTI :  esfp ZODIAC :  leo / scorpio i cant decide TEMPERAMENT :  sanguine / choleric (a healthy dose of both) SOUL  TYPE / S :   performer ANIMALS :  triceratops, dogs, rabbits. VICE  HABIT / S :  sexually careless, lies compulsively, theres also the drug habit... FAITH : until very recently, scanlan didn’t feel he had time for the gods. it was when he spent a year sorting himself out that he started to find some comfort in praying to sarenrae (the goddess of redemption). GHOSTS ? :  yes AFTERLIFE ? : no REINCARNATION ? : no ALIENS ? : yes POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT :  good people are good, bad people are bad. EDUCATION  LEVEL :  self taught, son.

FAMILY.

FATHER : vikol MOTHER : juniper SIBLINGS : none EXTENDED  FAMILY : kaylie shorthalt (daughter) NAME  MEANING / S :  ‘scandal’ or ‘contention’ HISTORICAL  CONNECTION ? : none

FAVORITES.

DEITY : sarenrae (mostly because of pike’s affiliation) HOLIDAY :  winter’s crest MONTH :  pfft SEASON : summer PLACE : greyskull keep / ank’harel / emon WEATHER :  warm but not humid, definitely prefers dry heat. SOUNDS : flute music, tavern ambience, the sound of a campfire crackling, his mother’s voice, pike’s laughter. SCENT / S : roses, patchouli, cinnamon TASTE / S : sweet stuff ! FEEL / S : physical contact of any sort / cuddling / hugs / more illicit physical acts, fabrics like silk or velvet, big cushiony soft pillows. ANIMAL / S :  dogs NUMBER :  69 bow chicka bow wow COLORS :  deep purples, gold, deep reds.

EXTRA.

TALENTS :  lying, singing, playing the flute or lute, flirting. BAD  AT : being honest, opening up to people, understanding people. TURN  ONS :  genuineness, sense of humor, equal parts strength and beauty, someone who can hit back whatever it is scanlan throws at them. TURN  OFFS :  nothing turns this little horn dog off  HOBBIES : shopping, singing / playing music, getting busy probably doesn’t count as a hobby but... TROPES :  i have many names, older than they look, sad clown, team dad, try not to die, really gets around AESTHETICS : scattered sheet music, floral printed fabrics, nudity just straight up nakedness, lightning and fire, intricately designed long swords or rapiers. QUOTES : 'you’re a scoundrel, scanlan shorthalt. it’s whats kept you alive.’ ‘you don’t leave your shit behind and keep going. you take it with you and the ones who stick around better get used to the smell.’

FC INFO.

MAIN  FC / S : hale applebaum ALT  FC / S : (i was using faceless icons of martin freeman as bilbo baggins but thats over) OLDER  FC / S :   YOUNGER  FC / S : VOICE  CLAIM / S : sam riegel GENDERBENT  FC / S :

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 :   if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own  movie ,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be  filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ? A1 :  listen i’m already writing a fic about the year scanlan spent away from vox machina and the whole aesthetic i have for it is lord of the rings meets a knights tale Q2 :   what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ? A2 : literally the same exact music i’ve reblogged to this blog Q3 : why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ? A3 : because i wanted to rp a critical role character and scanlan’s my fave Q4 : what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ? A4 : he’s my real dad. he raised me. actually, i just really like characters that are more than what they first seem AND i like comic relief characters. Q5 : describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse. A5 : i’ve coached myself to be a better communicator of my feelings (thanks therapy) so it’s sometimes very frustrating watching scanlan do the exact opposite of that when it would literally solve 90% of his problems. also some of the earlier and skeevier bullshit he pulled with women. Q6 : what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ? A6 : i’m also forty seven layers of sad hidden under a very thick layer of unaffected goof Q7 : how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ? A7 : idk but adopt me into your family, father. i’m already gay but if i have to get an undercut like lionel and kaylie, i will. Q8 : what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions  with ? A8 : canon wise; pike and vex / vax and grog and kaylie non-canon wise; i love seeing him interact with all the taakos Q9 : what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ? A9 :  new episodes, music, fanart/fics. Q10 : how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ? A10 : god it’s been in my drafts for two weeks now...

[heylookitsmyart]

raffle time yEEt

hey! im doing a raffle! woo!!! free art!!!

if the images aren't loading for you above; a quick and dirty overview is of it all here:

you get art if you join the raffle, and you can join by liking, reblogging, replying to this post or by following this blog from the starting point of this raffle (if you're a follower already, you gotta join by doing one of those actions that isn't following to dictate to me that you're joining).the raffle ends on April 13th 12:00AM UTC ( c̲o̲n̲v̲e̲r̲t̲e̲r̲ ) , good luck! :)

everything laid in specifics and concrete (the Official ™ Code of Conduct, if you will) is below, aswellassomestuffididn'tmakeexplicituphereforconvinienceandlon-gparagraphsofnothingnessmaybesneakinesstoo, and although I would recommend you read it (ill marry you if you do jfc i cant even bring myself to read it), there is no need to, and all instructions above are the bare minimum, yet functional bits of knowledge  you need for raffle entry.

H̲e̲r̲e̲ is the google doc of the raffle specifications if you prefer to read it like such, whether because of preference, or readability.

overview (bullshit you can skip, but you need this in clear concrete you know)

well hello there everybody i am here and doing a raffle because i enjoy deat- no actually i have 70 followers now!!!! and, not gonna lie, that is a mad small amount- but hey, celebration plusiamlikeF̲i̲v̲E̲F̲U̲C̲K̲I̲N̲GmonthsO̲V̲E̲R̲D̲U̲E̲butletsnottalk-aboutthat.

this "raffle" is structured in a way in which you enter by interacting with this post (reblogging, liking, or replying)  or by following my blog. i was genuinely considering just now as im typing this to add "sharing my blog on other social media also counts" but i realise now that would be TOO blatantly cheap promotion and crossing the line of democracy so we're gonna keep it at likes, reblogs, and follows. Less of a corporate trade; more of a friendly local bingo raffle.

the date that im posting this post is [date] and the raffle will be ended on April 13th 12:00AM UTC (h̲e̲r̲e̲s̲ ̲a̲ ̲c̲o̲n̲v̲e̲r̲t̲e̲r̲) which leaves you like two and a half weeks! I will pick the winners after the raffle has closed, create a post declaring who the winners are, as well as  contact them by sending an ask prompting them to tell me what they want me to draw for their prize (ETA: maybe 1-3 days, so sit tight haha).

and what does entering this raffle get you? art; handcrafted by yours truly from behind the screen in the meat prison that contains my , and my sparse will to continue living There will be ten winners and four tiers of prizes that can potentially be won, so yeah! A lot of winning to be done ;P

that being said, the nitty gritty specifics are down there,,,, if you want to read them,,,, and want to know what you can be excluded for,,,,, etc,,,, everything important/rules that you, the raffle, need (or will want to know to an extent; i think) to know will be bolded for convenience's sake, although I do say that there is greater benefit to reading the entire thing.

rules

what baseline requirements do you need to posses before you participate? nothing really to be honest. like i would prefer if you were a pleasant person but i dunno; im offering a good and if someone i dont like requests the good and i refuse- will that prevent them from ever obtaining that good or will that promote illegal methods to attain said good? who knows, i dont care, also, free market, laissez faire bitches. but i will say that if you manage to be any of the following below, your behavior will promptly be denounced, with the penalty of losing your prize and/or opportunity to participate; and in the case you have a prize, it will be passed to a runner up. so ears up, you qualify for eviction if you are:

hostile, not in a passive aggressive sense- you can be passive aggressive- but if you're  flat out saying (something like)  "you're a fucking asshole", directing profanity and objectively violent ("go die") diction with v i o l e n t i n t e n t and without indication of joking towards me

doing something illegal

a fucking porn bot?

not following the later mentioned rules yet still expect to qualify; insisting so and getting mad about it.  

in regards to me, or this raffle through any platform. However, pay mind that although these are guidelines, I will have the final verdict in the position of your place in this raffle.

entry

so how doing an enter my guy my dude?  

as aforementioned, there are four methods to entering this accursed raffle on tumblr dot com(liking, reblogging, replying, and following). You can enter multiple times, as indicated by the multiple methods to enter, resulting in multiple "entries".  The amount of entries you perform are compiled into your one large set of entries; a "bank of entries", if you will (each "entry" counting,,, well, as one entry,,,, like one entry counts as one entry unit) so if you enter once by liking, enter another time by reblogging, thats two entries, and other rafflers' total entries will contest with yours for a prize. eg: person a has three entries (one from like, two from reblogging), person b has one entry (from liking), the winner of the raffle is determined, likewise, as one winner of an entry out of the total four entries. The methodology for determining a winner is being worked upon, but it is certain that all your entries will be counted collectively. Now, of course we still have to have conditions for entry just to be C R Y S T A L C L E A R so; conditions (of which are condemnable by penalty):

please. no spam accounts. no alt accounts. one account per person/one bed/total bank of entries per person i would r e a l l y, r e a l l y like a genuine run (ironic, considering the amazing skewed-ness of this entire raffle but)

if you want to interact with this post, but not enter, reply "no entry"

late entries don't count for shit; even if i haven't picked the winners yet (i know, this is a given, but,,,,,, you gotta be clear,,, amirite,,,,,)

The specifications by entry through the multiple methods are specified below, all subject to the conditions above c: .  All of these actions below are done in relation to my blog and this post (for the most part,,,?*), and if you perform any excess actions that are not defined below (besides,,, well, defacing it)/suck up more, it is welcome and will earn you extra brownie points! but not extra entries :p.

l̲i̲k̲i̲n̲g̲*̲

seeing as you can only like once, well. a likes based raffle is literally the closest thing to a genuinely democratic raffle. but,,,,,, no democracy here

worth: one like on this post is equivalent to one entry; eg:.... one like,,,, = is one entry

r̲e̲p̲l̲y̲i̲n̲g̲

although you can reply more than once, I have decided to limit the boundary for replies to be up to two.

worth: one-two replies (addressed here as just a "reply", with any number of characters, within the rules, and that isn't "no entry", will account as one entry. however, your reply will account for more if you include some thought into it. meaning, if you write me a (A P R E F F E R A B L Y S H O R T, within the boundaries of the two replies) cute poem,or just a particularly striking poem, both are good, or, perhaps, a fun fact ™ , then I'll consider it to account for two entries. eg: one reply (within the rules)= one entry; one reply going something like: "did you know that armadillos aren't actually real?" = two entries;

r̲e̲b̲l̲o̲g̲g̲i̲n̲g̲*̲

well! you can reblog more than once, and reblogging has it own implications, reblogging legislation generation gets fun. everyday we stray further from gods light and into the blinding plight of capitalism

worth: a reblog is equivalent to one entry - but wait, there's more, if you reblog more (up until three entries), you'll get more entries per reblog. Now, there are two ways to go about this as well, both reliant on time frame.

reblog multiple times within the span of less than three days. meaning if your specified reblog occurs less than three days after your preceding post. if this is the case, the third reblog out of the number of reblogs  will account for two entries. eg: first reblog; one entry; second reblog; one entry; third reblog; two entries, meaning four entries in total.

reblog it multiple times within the span of more than three days, meaning if your specified reblog occurs more than three days after your preceding post.  if this is the case, what will happen is the specified reblogs following the initial reblog will be worth the previous entry +1, again, limited to three.  eg: {first reblog: one entry; second reblog; (r(n-1) + 1) two entries; third reblog (r(n-1) + 1) three additional entries.

f̲o̲l̲l̲o̲w̲i̲n̲g̲ ̲&̲ ̲e̲t̲c̲

now we're back to less fun methods (aww) of entry, seeing as they can only be performed once; but there are still conditions guys we're not done yet

worth: those who follow (and are not following currently) will attain one entry, but  preexisting followers  will receive more entries worth upon any other indication of joining the raffle eg: 1 follow (while not already following)  = 1 entry; existing follower & joins raffle by liking, replying, or reblogging post = 3 (from being a preexisting follower) + n (from alternate entry method).

footnote*:  I was considering offering entries for if you like like /reblog all of my posts, but that is,,,, so extra,,,, but if you're reading this and you do,,, m a y b e I’ll give you an extra two entries for one set of reblogs/one set of likes of all my posts(meaning if you do both you'll get four additional entries appended but that's so silly i don't think anyone will do it :p)

prizes

well here is what yall probably wanted to hear, well done if you've made it this far, if you're still here. i dont think i could have made it this far, go get a drink, pat on the back or something jesus. if you are indeed a prize winner, by the by, it is crucial to read e v e r y t h i n g b o l d e d t e x t b e l o w. it is necessary. (or somehow sty within the boundaries of the rules without reading them) if not and you're just skimming, by all mean, go ahead.

If you indeed are a winner, you will fit into one of the tiers of winners that are outlines below. There will be ten winners, and four tiers of winners. The prize that's specified in a tier is actually completely irrelevant to what prize you get, but if you didn't read this or don't know this, the specified prize in the tier descriptions will be the default prize given to you.

When the prize winners are declared, I will announce this in an announcement post, tagging said winners and I will send them an ask in their inbox prompting them to tell me what you want as your prize as a notification of winning. If a winner does not have their ask box open, I expect it to be their responsibility, as prompted by the tagging notification in the announcement post, to either contact me alternatively through private message (tumblr message), a reply on the announcement post, or sending an ask to my blog. After a prize winner has received a notification, I expect them to describe what they want pieces(s) for their prize in a prompt via a) a reply to my ask notification b) a reply comment on the announcement post c) a private message d) an ask e) appending information on to a reblog of the announcement post. References are encouraged, and specifications of how to prompt for your piece(s) are elaborated upon below. I may either send you an ask saying: "recieved" after you do so to indicate that I know what you want for your prize/or create a "people who have contacted me and are waiting on their art" post and tag those who I've received a prompt from.

Now, you will not be able to claim your prize if you do not abide to the following:

you have to contact me with an  prompt within one week. If not, I will notify you that I will merely hand off your prize to a runner up (if you are a runner up, all these rules apply to you as well, though this might result in some funny situation wherein no one responds for weeks and like an entire two months later ill message some rando asking if they want to receive a prize for a raffle they didnt even remember winning but like,,, that is humorous enough to follow through on so i will) and, likewise, hand your prize off to a runner up

your prize prompt must abide to the conditions entailed below regarding what tier prize you received

what you request cannot be nsfw. i will not draw it.

you don't get one of these prizes if you're not a winner, again, obvious, but you have to make it explicit,,, somewhere,,,,, right

e v e r y p r o m p t f o r a p r i z e i s w o r d p r o m p t e d/reference prompted. Now because human communication is weird I won't try to regulate this as much, but your prompt must be limited to 350 words (a link to a reference counting as one word), and if it is longer, I will merely ignore the excess, and I will not contact you about what has been disregarded from your prompt. you should probably know. Do note- however, that what prompt you send me is subject to my interpretation. If you send me three references and say "draw this character like how they are in this other reference" you just gotta hope i can understand it like you do, and if it really does not look like what you expected; forgive me, but I'm not going to draw your prompt again. If you decide to have multiple pieces, specify so accordingly (there are separate prompts for separate pieces so you get 350 words to describe each piece) & abide to the specifications laid down by the tiers, a hard proof is good, but I will check and see if what piece(s) you want to redeem out of your prize corresponds with the limitations of the prize tiers-. Prompting specifications aside, there are four tiers of prizes for winners; each with their own level and value of worth and they are elaborated upon further below.

So, the tier of the prize is what determines the magnitude of value the prize has, meaning this value can in turn affect the elaboration the art will have, as well as the complexity of the subject illustrated in the prize*. The default piece of art you can retrieve for the according  prize value are in itself worth the amount of value the tier has; with each tier maintaining a value that is higher than the preceding by an equivalent amount of difference (just think of it this way: tier one is worth four points; tier two is worth three points; tier three, two; tier four, one). This implies that the default type of art specified in each tier is worth such amount of value. (eg: the default type of art in tier one is a shaded subject with a background" , and tier one is worth four "points" in value, meaning that "shaded subject with a background"  has four "points" of value). Conclusively, because the prize is really receiving a prize in value, (art currency, haha), the actual "prize" you will redeem (neglecting the default piece if you don't specify) will be the piece(s) you specify; which are worth the value of the prize in the tier you attained, art in the form of the worth and value of the tier of prize you redeemed. Pay mind, that you cannot specify and amount of pieces that add up to over the tier level, but you can specify under

t̲i̲e̲r̲ ̲o̲n̲e̲

worth: shaded subject with a background,  eg:

 subsequently, this tier is also worth one and a third ( honestly i don't know how I would go about doing that and I'm just going to hope no one asks for this,,, because it's near atrocious. I think you would just round up though, so two, really ) "fully shaded subjects", two "flat color subjects" and four sketches.

This tier only has one winner.

t̲i̲e̲r̲ ̲t̲w̲o̲

worth:  fully shaded subject, eg:

 subsequently, this tier is also worth one and a half  "fully shaded subjects" (round up, round up so it's actually two flat color),  and three sketches.

This tier has two winners.

t̲i̲e̲r̲ ̲t̲h̲r̲e̲e̲

worth: flat color subject, eg: 

subsequently, this tier is also worth two  "sketches"

This tier has three winners.

t̲i̲e̲r̲ ̲f̲o̲u̲r̲

worth: a sketch eg:

 meaning, one sketched subject with perhaps a midground and/or background, as a sketched background/sketched mid-ground is, figuratively speaking,  a l m o s t n o t h i n g, like below.

 simple patterns can also qualify as background &/or textures, as long as you provide said textures (with like a link to an image or something);

simple patterns^

a texture^

This tier has four winners.

footnote*; I was debating on actually writing out these specifications; but this is subject to my interpretation (completely) for the time being, sorry haha. you'll see a clear cut implementation of this concept in my commision sheet in the near-distant future :p, but for the time being this is subject to my interpretation

footnote: **however if you kind of want a sketch background to be paired with any above tiers, go ahead.

[leeoliver]

5, 8, 14, 19, 39 iunia and/or ezra

(char dev)

5. how do they dress? what styles, colors, accessories, and other possessions do they favor? why?

tbh itd be much more interesting to talk abt how iunia used to dress bcos now shes either wearing armor or her pharasma robes (which are like fancy funeral wear) she and wesviz were honestly like. fashion icons who wore an embarrassing amount of matching couples outfits. she really likes wearing like coral and salmon and peach bcos she feels like her skins too pale but those sort of warm pink and orangish tones bring color back into it. and shed do like dramatic bright makeup, especially eyes (lips were usually a solid tone bcos she and wesviz would match their lip colors to each others shirts) but stopped wearing makeup when she got pregnant bcos she remembered hearing like 10 years ago that wearing makeup when pregnant was bad for the kid. also her hair used to be really long like almost waist length and she cut it really short after wesviz died and kept it short while she was looking for cens and is only just now starting to grow it out again.

(human) ezras got like. a meticulous aesthetic going on that probs takes way more effort than they care to admit in the wasteland. they keep their clothes really really clean, though that starts to get hard after a while, and know enough basic sewing to mend any rips that occur moderately well. anyway its generally like cream/beige/brown/sometimes like yellow or like burnt orange turtlenecks and then prewar dress slacks and loafers. occasionally they wear like a white button down and like dark yellow sweater vest and bowtie, but thats for like special occasions. they definitely shine their shoes. as a ghoul the kind of start to let themself go, wearing this really big cloak w a hood so they can hide their face and stuff but it turns out that a six and a half ft tall figure of ambiguous species in a long menacing cloak and hood draws more attention than a six and a half ft tall ghoul in a tan prewar suit, so theyre doing better now.

8. where and when do they seem most and least at ease? why? how can you tell?

iunia knows a delivery table like the back of her hand. she can get like kind of intense when shes in the birthing zone, really barking orders but you definitely get the sense she knows what shes doing and is in total control of the situation. like shes super deep in her element. its pretty impressive. def uncomfortable in like wilderness or survival areas, prior to the events of coct shes never in her life been outside city limits. constantly looking around her and over her shoulder, holds her gear really tight if shes carrying any.

ezras really good in really pristine, regulated places like the vault. a lot of ppl would consider something that like regulated and controlled dystopian or monotonous but they fit really well into the machine. ezra as a person can get into fanatical territory really really quickly so like all hail the overseer and that sort of thing is something they really get into. so they of course like really have no idea how to act in a lot of more like rough and tumble sort of rugged wasteland towns. it was the first time theyd sort of been in a situation where a lethal fight or something breaking out was an actual possibility, and it scared them half to death.

14. What do they care deeply about? What kind of loyalties, commitments, moral codes, life philosophies, passions, callings, or spirituality and faith do they have? How do these tend to be expressed?

mm iunias really conflicted here bcos she always feels like the temple and stuff should be her number one priority, that her past life is exactly that–in the past. but at the same time i feel like if theres a situation where she has to choose between her goddess and her son (and knowing how devious avery is, im fully expecting there will be) shed go with the latter. no matter what. in terms of more like general talk on faith and spirituality, shes definitely very devout and she can absolutely come off as like im blanking on the word like pushing OH proselytizing she can come off as proselytizing but i feel like so much of it is unconscious? like even if shes not actively trying to like convert someone her faith is such a huge part of her identity and it bleeds into a lot of how she interacts w the world.

lmao iunia and ezra just happen to be like my two most religious characters so good question. ezra is like unbearably classic lawful good they just really want to help people like definitely in terms of humanitarian aid but also smaller stuff like being really nice to people, making themself available as a shoulder to cry on, things like that. wrt religion ezras definitely very devout but they feel. super uncomfortable discussing faith w anyone other than their dad (and i havent finished fo3 but if theres another character whos very into like faith and stuff them too) so for them its more below the surface, esp compared w iunia

19. how do they behave within a group? what role(s) do they take? does this differ if they know and trust the group, versus finding themselves in a group of strangers? why?

iunia is definitely really like cold professional, but the best way to work w her is to give her a job and then just dont interfere w however she does it. i dont think id consider her a leader, but shes good at like timetables and organization so its definitely helpful to have her in a position where she can keep everyone on track in some capacity. i think the only change were the group to go from strangers to friends is that shes a little more flexible and willing to get input from friends whereas if a stranger (who often times would be 15~ yrs younger than her) did anything to imply that she wasnt competent shed be like. like you shouldnt do that. iunias so many things but incompetent is so incredibly not one of them.

ezras definitely gonna work better in a small group where theres not a lot of variation in goals and morals (theyre pretty flexible on specific means and stuff of getting a job done, with some hard rules on violence and stuff) and a lot of the time w/o a definite leader. if there is a leader theyve gotta play into that like zealous god-worshipping side of ezra and be like larger than life if they want unwavering support.

39. what sort of questions or thoughts recur in their lives, either specifically or as a theme? why are these never answered, or answered permanently to their satisfaction?

iunia wants to know why everyone leaves her. and given that her ongoing story is yet to start, i cant quite answer the second part of that question.

ezra deals a lot i guess w sense of self and identity? they definitely struggle w navigating life w/o their dad, both when he leaves the vault and after he dies. they define them self a lot thru how other ppl view them, and their dad is pretty much like. idk if i want to use like medical terms but id call him their fp. and so w/o him to sort of reassure them and tell them who they are, they have no idea.