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ham1lton · 5 months

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i’m with the band.

pairing(s): lando norris x singer!reader

warnings: v slightly angsty? but happy ending.

summary: pop band CHANGE! has just released their anticipated third album; however, fans notice that the songs seem to tell an unsavoury story….

author's note: i didn’t know whether u wanted me to do a happy song or sad but i like drama. i refer to y/n’s bandmates by their roles. so guitarist, bassist and drummer so you can add their names in! also this album is loosely based on SAWAYAMA and 5sos’s album youngblood. listen to them both if u haven’t!! incredible albums. if you can name all these songs that have been mentioned then MWAH!!! 😍

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liked by harrystyles, landonorris and 3,388,728 others.

changeband: thank you so much to the best, coolest and awesomest fans in the fucking planet. shoutout to everyone who showed up to our listening party in philly last week! you were metal as hell and we loved meeting everyone of you. no more fomo for the rest of you all now that our newest album is now out! please stream and buy and recommend to your friends and family and colleagues and even that annoying neighbour that everyone hates. we love you and we love this album!! here are some behind the scenes pics of us making and brainstorming this baby!

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user1: this album is sooo good!

user2: ooh y/n got her masters in cuntology with a concentration in motherlogical studies from the university of servington… that NOTE in dynasty??? oh goddddd.

-> user4: DYNAAAASSSSTTTTYYYY 🗣️🔊

user3: the casual photo dump like they haven’t released the album of the CENTURY?

user8: you guys have come such a far way from working minimum wage and having to pool money for a recording booth omg. i’m so proud of you guys 🥺

*liked by changeband.*

user5: the way guitarist is eating this album. whoever greenlit her guitar solos i want to kiss them on the mouth.

user28: bad friend is my fav! both the acoustic vers and the normal vers!! PUT UR HANDS UP IF UR NOT GOOD AT THIS STUFF!!!! 😍😍

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liked by messyass1, messyass2 and 278,727 others.

ham1ltonshaderoom: girl band CHANGE! have released their new album ‘babylon’ and it has sent twitter in flames after the first tweet (pictured above) went viral. especially after the songs ‘lie to me’ and ‘want u back’ both contain lyrics that have sent fans of the power couple lando norris and y/n l/n spiralling. what do you all think of the drama ham1ltons?

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user1: i do think it’s slightly suspicious… not necessarily a break up confirmation but it’s interesting. especially as she didn’t even bother to confirm or deny whether or not they’re still together on jimmy fallon….

user2: why do we speculate into these celebs lives? if they broke up, who cares and if they’re together… who cares?

hater1: who gives a fuck. she can’t even sing.

-> user3: you clearly gaf if you’re commenting under y/n related posts???

loveislanduk: don’t worry y/n! if need be, you can always find a new man on the island!

-> user98: messy asf 😭

user6: is tkl supposed to be y/n talking about how lando was super adored and that although he could have any girl, she’d be the only one who really loved him?

-> user4: tokyo love hotel is a homage to drummer’s japanese heritage not a lando worship song?? also it’s a metaphor for their heritages as three of them are women of colour who grew up in the west and saw their cultures exoticised.

-> user6: ‘yeah your fascination is my world’. that could be interpreted as her saying ‘your obsession is my boyfriend’.

-> user4: girl yeah but that’d be a lazy one would it not? lando ain’t that special 😭 i think that it’s reductionist to make everything she writes about a man and not her.

user44: calling the album babylon after the bible story? maybe they started with the idea of creating this amazing relationship and then grew apart? they stopped speaking each other’s language?

-> user56: maybe you need to put this energy into analysing your resume and figuring out why you’re still unemployed….

user65: idc if she broke up with that troll because that’d mean drummery/n will thrive!!

-> user9: um… u mean guitaristy/n??

-> user34: both wrong. bassisty/n is the best version!!!

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CHANGE’S INTERVIEW W/ JIMMY FALLON (transcript)

JIMMY FALLON: welcome, everyone! we have a special treat for you tonight. please give it up for the current leaders of the world charts, the incredible band CHANGE!"

(audience applause as the girls take their seats)

FALLON: alright, alright! now, there have been some rumours swirling around about your latest album and its connection to some personal matters. especially in regards to y/n. care to shed some light on that?

Y/N: well, jimmy, first of all, thank you for having us. i’m aware that there have been some rumours, but you know how it is. people love to speculate. our music is definitely personal, and yeah, it does reflect some of what's been going on in my life but i want to set the record straight. the songs on our album are inspired by a variety of our experiences, including relationships, but they're not always directly about any specific individuals. sometimes i’m inspired by other forms of media or my loved ones’ experiences. that’s the joy of making art, it can be whatever you want it to be.

DRUMMER: yeah, and y/n is such a talented songwriter. she has this incredible ability to channel her emotions into our music and make you feel whatever she wants.

BASSIST: exactly. we're just here to make music that connects with people, and if our songs happen to resonate with someone going through a breakup? then we've done our job. that doesn’t mean we’ve necessarily gone through that.

FALLON: is it true that you’re performing two songs for us tonight? can you confirm which ones?

GUITARIST: yes! we’re performing ‘want u back’ and ‘frankenstein’. both of our newest singles from babylon.

FALLON: well, you heard them, folks! get ready for an amazing performance from CHANGE!

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liked by bassist, guitarist and 1,272,973 others.

yourusername: we’re fine y’all perfectly fine please don’t call paw patrol.

view all 68,928 comments

user1: OH THANK GOD.

landonorris: she’s lying. i’m in my lemonade era…🍋

-> user23: you wish you could be that iconic. you’re in your dogwater era.

-> landonorris: UNPROVOKED???

user3: we needed this confirmation.

user8: PARENTS AREN’T DIVORCED WE WON 🙌

landonorris: now can you release the bonus tracks please please please 🙏🏼 ‼️😩

-> bassist: no :)

-> guitarist: yes :)

-> drummer: one of them is lying… guess who and i’ll send the whole album plus excluded tracks.

-> landonorris: … um 😅 guitarist?

-> drummer: WRONG ‼️ but i’m scared you’re gonna complain to y/n so i’ll send them over to you 🙄

user27: at least we’re back to having lando being CHANGE!’s biggest fans. what did he think of ‘exile’?

-> yourusername: he cried so hard he threw up.

-> user27: real shit.

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totallyvisser · 2 days

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PROBLEMATIC || 5SOS —

i don’t have a summary but keep reading!! (it’s very fast paced aswell) i think it gets better! this is my first post and i hope to get better at this lol.

this story is ALL over the place and it kind of won’t make sense. if you wanna catch up and read my book PROBLEMATIC on wattpad follow me! wattpad.com/k3thryn (it was made in 2020 and my writing was not good but i am in the process of updating it!)

ENJOY!

—

The bright sun shined on Blakley’s skin as she walked up the rocky hill towards the venue. Finally, after not seeing the boys for a long and suffering five months, Blakely decided to surprise the boys for their show in Philly. The last time they talked was two days ago and that’s when she was in Australia. She was supposed to see them in London but it felt too far for her. Plus, she always wanted to come to Philly.

“God, I can’t wait to see them!” The excited girl bounced up and down as Frances laughed. Frances was Blakely’s girlfriend of three years.

Loud chatter filled the open space from the hundreds of girls. Eyes laid on Blakely watching as she passed by them.

“Is that Blakely?”

“No. She just did a live in Australia.”

“That can’t be her.”

Chatter went around the group of teens wondering if they were seeing Michael’s daughter. “Hey, could I get a picture with you?” The nervous excited girl beamed walking up to Blakely. “Yeah! Sure thing!” Blakely gladly accepted posing with the girl as she held up the camera. “Thank you. I love your outfit by the way.” Blakely thanked the girl before carrying on.

She wore a deep-sea blue shirt with a black star in the middle, (She stole from Calum) baggy black cargo pants, and black Doc Martens. It was simple but cute.

Sadly, Blakely had to decline taking more photos because she didn’t want to spoil the surprise by one of the boys finding her with a fan on their timeline. “You ready to rock this thing?” Frances wrapped her arm around Blakely giving her a big smile. “I don’t know. Having thousands of people looking my way.” Her lips tugged to the side nervously laughing.

“Don’t worry. I know you got this.” Frances side-hugged Blakely as she placed a kiss on her cheek.

—

And the time was finally here, there Blakely was. To surprise the boys she wanted to help with a song by playing the drums. One of her favorite songs. She was set up on the lawn area with her drumset she had sent down. Soundcheck and camera knew what to do, she had in her earpiece and was ready to go.

A barricade shielded the girl from the people as well as an ‘advertisement box’. She sat on her sage green throne seat; the color also matching her drum set. Her drumsticks patted against her thighs jamming out to the song they were singing, which was ‘Want you back’. “You’re on.” The talking from her earpiece interrupted her singing making chills go down her back. Good chills.

“Let’s do this.” A smile played on her face as her drumstick twirled around her finger with no effort. The song started to end as the board started to lift exposing the teen.

“Hey, boys! Hope you’re glad to see me.” She waved with her drumstick. The crowd cheered as the camera pointed to her, the big screens playing her face. “Is that little Clifford?!” Luke said into the mic letting out a laugh. “You’re here to take Ash’s place?” Calum cheekily smiled as the crowd's cheers got louder. “Just for this one song. I hope you don’t mind, Ash?” Blakely knew he wouldn’t mind. He loved her too much.

“It’s all yours, sweets.”

“I’d say we have a little Irwin here tonight. Take it away, Blake.” Michael proudly said smiling up at Blakely.

The beating of the drums echoed throughout the venue as the roaring cheers got louder recognizing the song that was playing. Blakely felt the pound of the drums rocking her insides hearing as they sang along. She didn’t feel as nervous anymore. She felt as if she was in her safe space. Even though Blakely was Michael’s daughter and helped her with guitar non-stop, she was a drummer lover deep down.

By time the song ended Blakely felt adrenaline and it felt good. “Thank you, Philly! And thank you, Ash!” Blakely stood up from her seat blowing a kiss down to Ashton before stepping down from her drums.

Throughout the two songs they played she made her way backstage and received some new bracelets from some fans she greatly appreciated. Sadly she couldn’t find Frances. She was somewhere in the crowd or getting food.

At the moment Blakely was singing her heart out to ‘We Don’t Go to Parties Anymore’. The smile that was stuck on her face never left. Proud of how far they’ve come.

The song soon ended with Blakely and the fans cheering. “I just wanna say how great you guys are doing. You guys are killin’ it and I'm pretty sure the people that live a mile away can hear you!" Calum exclaimed into the mic earning cheers.

"And real quick before we continue. I see a little head peeking out from the curtains. So, I'm gonna bring her out. Everyone, Blakely Clifford!" The crowd expressed their happiness seeing the teen walk out on the stage, watching as she waved exposing her pearl-white smile.

First, she went up to Michael giving him the biggest hug. "I'm so happy to see you, Munchkin'." He placed a kiss on her head. He deeply missed her bubbly presence. Her hugs went around to Ashton, to Luke, and then to Calum.

"I think you should stay for another set, yeah?" Luke asked the crowd as he looked over at Blakely. The joyful cheers from the crowd told Luke his answer. "I'm pretty sure that's a yes. Your pick of an instrument, dear." Luke said.

Blakely looked up at Calum exactly knowing what instrument she wanted to play. "I think she's going with her second best." Calum smiled taking off his bass handing it over to Blakely. "And to make it fun for everyone, you get to pick the song from the dice," Michael said getting cheerful screams from the crowd.

"Oh god, I feel so special." Blakely exactly knew what song she wanted and like most of the fans, they wanted the same thing. "You guys ready for this? I don't think you are." She smirked over at the boys readjusting the bass strap. Calum appeared back by her side with a bass of his own. The sound of the bass filled the area with the opening of 'English Love Affair'.

"I fuckin' knew it!" Michael screamed at the laughing teen.

—

It's been forty-five minutes since Blakely had seen Frances. She was hoping she'd find Fraces by the time she got off stage, but she still couldn't find her. So, at the moment Blakely was up at the lawn stuffing her face with pizza. The boys had four more songs left so she had time to spare before she could bother them.

"Blake, is that really you?" The blonde turned her head toward the person calling out her name. Blakely's eyebrows furrowed in confusion trying to recognize the girl's face. Then her smile appeared showing her perfect set of teeth. Blakely instantly knew who it was by the one-of-a-kind smile. The young Clifford's eyes go wide, and a shocked gasp comes from her. "Rex, dude, it's you!" Blakely launched herself toward the girl engulfing her in a hug.

Both of the girls jumped up and down in each other's arms ecstatic seeing each other face to face. "Dude, no way I'm hugging you right now!" Blakely shouted out in joy as Rex laughed. "What are you doing here? Oh, this night just got better!" Blakely finally pulled away only wanting to hug them again. "I surprised my sister with tickets, but I guess I'm surprising myself also."

Blakely knew Rex over discord. Three years ago she joined a gaming server and Rex was the first person she became friends with. Ever since they've been close friends. Playing stupid games all night or trolling random servers. It was stupid things but they sure as hell have fun.

The two talked and talked as well as singing the songs that were playing. "Dude, where the hell have you been?" The voice interrupted the two girls. Their heads spun around to see who it was.

Before Blakely could set eyes on who it was she already knew. She was the person she was looking for in the first place. Frances stood with her arms crossed visibly annoyed, staring down the other person who had their hand on her girlfriend's arm and why.

"Oh shit. Frances—I got food then I was gonna look for you but I ran into a friend. I'm so sorry." And Blakely was sorry. Her voice was apologetic; her eyes saying the same. "I texted you like fifteen times!" Frances shouted over the loud music. "I'm sorry! Look, this is Alex." Blakely quickly wanted to change the topic because she didn't want to argue.

"Hi." The redhead awkwardly waved at the annoyed brunette getting nothing but silence. "It was nice meeting you." Frances fakely smiled before grabbing a hold of Blakely and pulling her away.

"Hey, what the hell?" Blakely pulled away from Frances once they were far away from the singing fans. "What's your problem? That was really rude." Blakely turned her head to look at Rex seeing them find their way back to their seat.

"Who was she and why did she have her hands on you?" Frances was very protective over Blakely and Blakely didn't mind it one bit. But this time she wasn't having it. "Are you serious?" Blakely studied the brunette's face trying to find a hint of joker but all it was, was jealousy.

"I saw her. Her hands all over you and you did nothing." Frances spat. Hurt lacing in her voice. "You were spying on me? You don't trust me?" Blakely's quick anger turned into hurt. Frances instantly regretting what was about to come out of her mouth.

"Do you love me anymore?"

Blakely's eyes shot up in surprise, her heart sinking. Silence overcame the two. Nothing but hurt and anger weighing down on them.

"That's Rex, Frances. You know, the one who's engaged." Tears brimmed in Blakely's eyes trying to force their way out. A bit of shock painted over Frances' face. "Blake—" Instant regret overcame Frances as she took Blakely's hand only for the blonde to pull away. Blakely didn't want to talk about it anymore. Whatever she wanted to ask she knew the answer.

"I'm going out to dinner with everyone. Feel free to join, If not I'll see you back at the hotel." Blakely masked up the hurt in her voice as she wiped away the tears that got loose. Before Frances could get a word in Blakely sped off.

She blinked away the tears that were daring to spill over walking through the crowds of people making her way backstage. The fans were oblivious to the upset girl passing them by.

"There she is!" Sierra shouted seeing Blakely walk into the green room. "Oh my god! I miss you!" Crystal jumped up from her seat, the two running toward the girl. Blakely softly laughed as the two engulfed her in a hug, almost knocking her over.

"You did so good!"

"I almost fainted when I saw your face on the screen!"

They were excited to see Blakely but were quick to notice how off she was. "Hey, what's wrong? Aren't you with Frances? I saw her on my Instagram."

"She wasn't feeling good so she headed back to the hotel." Blakely gave a small smile but they knew that wasn't all it was. "It's so good to see you guys!" Blakely hugged the girls not wanting her fight with Frances to affect her happiness. It was a stupid fight and Frances will come around soon. Blakely hoped.

—

The show ended three hours ago and everyone decided to go out to dinner. They had the place to themselves, so all the adults were at the bar and Blakely was over at the table watching as they had their conversations. Every fifteen minutes she would check her phone hoping to see a message from Frances, but nothing. It made Blakely wonder if she was the one in the wrong and not Frances. And it bothered her by the second. The more she sat around and would think the more she would overthink negative thoughts.

"I can't.." Blakely mumbled to herself shooting up from the chair. She made her way over to the empty sitting lounge tapping the contacts button on her phone. Blakely's finger hovered over Frances' name. All the negative outcomes clouding her already clouded mind.

"Hello?" Frances' voice rang over the phone. "Hey, can we talk?" Blakely nit-picked at the magazines that lay on the side desk. "Talk? Yeah—yeah, of course." Shuffling came from Frances' end as if she dropped something. "Oh god." Frances laughed which confused Blakely. "Frances?"

"I'm here, Blae." Blakely could hear the drunk slur in Frances' voice. "Are you drunk?" Blakely's voice riddled with concern only to hear laughing on the other end. "Frances, what the fuck? This isn't funny. Where did you get alcohol from—why?" Blakely started to pace back and forth nervously biting the inside of her lip.

"If Rex never had their hands on you all over you this would have never happened. I'm so tired of being scared all the time because of the way people look at you knowing how much better you'll be with them, and you know it! Where are you, Blakely?" The drunk teen cried out as Blakely stood frozen. Frances made no sense but Blakely knew what she meant. Blakely knew she was distant but she was never falling out of love with Frances.

"Franny—"

Before Blakely's upset voice could be heard the line cut dead. "Damn it!" Blakely hissed kicking the closest thing to her which was the side table; the magazines floating down to the floor.

Blakely sucked in a breath stuffing her phone into her pocket. "Hey, Bub." The voice scared the upset teen, and her head shot up. She sniffled running her hand through her her hair. "I'm sorry." She quickly knelt down starting to pick up the magazines but the tears that started to spill stopped her.

A sob left her mouth fully falling to the ground. Michael took no time to kneel beside the crying girl wrapping her in a hug. "Why do I seem to mess everything and everyone up?" Blakely wrapped her arms around her dad, sobbing into his chest.

"Why do you say that? What happened between you and Frances?" Michael looked down at his daughter who had her face nuzzled into his chest. "I saw Rex and the concert and Frances saw me with them and got upset because Rex had their hand on me. It was so stupid but she thinks I don't love her anymore. Am I too problematic for anyone to love me?"

Blakely knew the reasons why she was drifting away but it was no one's problem but hers. "Don't you dare say that. You hear me?" Michael gently took ahold of Blakely's face making her look at him.

"You are so hard to love and that's not a bad thing, okay? It's okay to take your time to love and trust somebody. And that person is going to have to wait for you. And if they can't they're not worth your while, love. But what I can tell you is that Frances does love you and it's perfectly normal for couples to go through bumps in the road. You try your best to fix it. Not everyone has a perfect relationship, Bub."

Blakely sadly looked up at Michael trying to force the smile that never came. Nothing he said could fix what Blakely's done.

—

For the past fifteen minutes, Blakely stood in the hall, outside the hotel room. Her hand would reach for the door handle ready to open the door but would instantly pull back. And that lasted for a while. Until she heard Frances' voice scaring her.

"I know you're out there, Blae." Frances' tired voice called out. "Damn it.." Blakely mumbled turning the door handle. Walking in there she saw Fracnes throwing clothing after clothing into her suitcase. The blonde's eyebrows knitted in confusion.

"What are you doing? Why are you packing?" Blakely asked only to get nothing but the door she opened clicking shut.

Frances bunched up her pants stuffing them into the suitcase. "Fran." Nothing. "Frances!" Blakely snatched the pants from Frances' hand finally getting the attention she wanted but didn't expect.

"I can't do this, okay!" Frances whipped around snatching the jeans back and Blakely lightly flinched at her reaction. "What are you talking about?" Is what Blakely wanted to say yet nothing came out.

"It's too much right now, alright? I'm sorry." Frances never made eye contact and that's all Blakely wanted at the moment. "Is it because of what happened earlier? Fran, Rex is just a friend—"

"You don't see it do you?" A light laugh left Frances' mouth as she made her way into the bathroom. "For the last six months you've been distant, we barely have anything to talk about. That's not even the reason why I'm doing this." Frances just couldn't stand still but Blakely on the other hand never moved an inch.

"Then why? We can fix this—I can fix this!" Blakely cried out. "I've been trying to fix this!" Frances snapped walking out of the bathroom. She walked up to Blakely finally looking at the teary-eyed girl.

"I've been trying my hardest to fix us and I'm getting tired, emotionally and mentally. Maybe there's a blimp in our relationship, I don't know, but right now I need to breathe and I'm not sure how long that might take." Blakely watched the tears burn Frances' eyes.

The slur in her voice was gone so Blakely knew she wasn't full of it but she still didn't want to believe it. "You can't do this. Not right now." Blakely moved in front of Frances blocking her from the suitcase.

"Why not? I've been waiting and giving you time and I haven't forced or pushed you to tell me because I knew it wasn't my right to!" Frances cried out.

"I'll tell you, I promise. But I can't right now, it'll mess everything up!" Blakely sobbed.

"Everything is already messed up!" And Frances was right. No matter what Blakely could say or do could fix what she’s broke.

Blakely's hand wiped across her face wiping away the fallen tears. She always won the fights yet this time it was different. "I'm sorry, okay? I never wanted this to end how it did." Frances looked over at the upset girl before picking up her suitcase.

"I know you and I have so much more to explore and discover. But right now we need a break whether you see it or not. I'll never stop loving you, Blae." Frances placed a kiss on Blakely's cheek. Blakely saying nothing and just accepting it.

Her eyes met Frances trying so hard not to, yet it was inevitable. Eyes like Frances’ could capture anybody's attention. A sad smile rose on Frances' face wiping away the loose tears from Blakely's cheek.

—

Rain hits Blakely's soaking wet head as she sadly drags herself up the driveway of the Airbnb the boys were staying at.

After Frances left, Blakely stayed in the hotel sobbing her eyes out. It all came at once for the girl. Sadness, anger, disappointment. And being on new medicine didn't help the fact.

Not. One. Bit.

Multiple texts went out to all of the boys, plus Sierra and Crystal hoping they'd text back to get the negative thoughts out of her head. But they were drunk and knocked out cold.

Her loud knocks echoed throughout the quiet and dark house. Her freezing shaking hands dug into her drenched sweatpants pockets; a sob escaped her lips looking down at her soaking vans.

Blakely's congested sniffles didn't help in the cold rain resulting in a runny nose. The light from the foyer shined on Blakely's face.

Calum came into view looking tired and confused but instantly woke up seeing his crying and soaking wet niece. The door swung open as her sobs echoed.

"Blake, what happened?" Blakely took no time to engulf Calum in a hug letting her cries loose. He was confused but without a second thought, he wrapped his arms around her drenched body.

"I try so hard not to push people away but nothing I do works!" For the past six months, Blakely held everything in thinking she'd be okay because she had Frances who was her super glue. But now that Frances left, Blakely felt the world crashing down on her.

"Hey, sh, sh. What are you talking about, love?" He gently lifted her head from his chest wiping away her non-stop falling tears. "Tanya left me a few months ago and now Frances is gone. I’m so sorry."

—

Now in dry clothes that Calum lent, Blakely sat on the couch in front of everyone who was now awake. They all woke up from the sound of something smashing and that was Blakely accidently knocking over a vase.

They all quietly sat looking over at Blakely, who was also quiet. Her hand lightly rubbed against the inside of her thigh staring at nothing but the carpet. She never wanted it to be like this. It wasn't fair.

"I said I'd give you fifteen minutes. It's been twenty-five, love." Calum and Blakely had an agreement. If Blakely didn't tell them what happened with Tanya, Calum would under no circumstances.

"Please don't," Blakely mumbled looking over at Calum with pleading eyes. Calum didn't wanna tell them like this but how else could he?

"I'm gonna put it plain and simple. And it's not gonna be easy to take." Calum said as Blakely sunk her head in between her knees waiting for the worst to happen.

"Six months ago Tanya left." Calum watched all their expressions changing to confusion. Definitely waking them up.

"What are you talking about?"

"What?"

"She what?"

"What do you mean she left? Blake, what is Calum talking about?" Michael asked the girl who didn't lift her head.

"I just found this out, mate. You don't think I'm confused myself?" Questions flew out left and right, and mostly to Blakely who wasn't listening. "God, I fucking knew it." Michael shot up from his seat. His face turned red from how livid he was.

Blakely finally looked up watching him walk away. The door slammed shut scaring everyone, which shut them up. "This is why I didn't wanna say anything." Blakely pushed herself off the couch running toward the room. She opened the door to see Michael pacing back and forth trying his best not to break anything he saw.

"This is why I didn't want to say anything! Look at you!" Blakely shut the door behind her knowing there'd be a yelling match. Michael whipped around facing his daughter.

"What? You were gonna just wait? Or wait till you were eighteen so she wouldn't be in as much trouble? 'Cause she sure as hell would!"

"It wouldn't have been that bad! You already hate her so why would you care if she didn't want to take care of me anymore?!" Blakely shouted back.

"I care because she took you away from me and for what? She never wanted you, and you sure as hell know it too! I've taken care of you for seventeen years through sweat and tears, then she wants to show up to laugh in my face and properly take care of you? Now she's scared and tired, like last time. That's bullshit." Michael was angry at Blakely, yet she wasn't the one he should be angry at.

Growing up as Michael and Tanya had Blakely, one day at the age of fifteen Tanya bailed on Michael leaving the four-year-old girl at a bus stop.

The first year alone, Michael felt miserable yet he never showed it. And that took a toll on him mentally. He dropped out of school to focus on music. But most importantly, he shut out his daughter. Whenever the little girl wanted to talk or play with him it was always, "What do you want?", "Go away." , "Not right now."

It confused Blakely at that age but it never really bothered her since she had his friends to bother. Luke, Ashton, and Calum. The three always tried so hard to enlighten the boy to get him to talk to Blakely, or even try and take her to school but it never seemed to work.

"I don't wanna play bass, I wanna go outside!" The hyper seven-year-old tugged on Calum's shirt as she jumped up and down.

"Why don't you go ask your dad." Calum set his bass aside. Blakely looked over at Michael. He sat on the couch with earphones stuffed in his ears playing with his guitar.

"I don't think he likes me." Blakely scrunched her nose shaking her head. It came out with no hesitation because it was sadly true. Calum felt a pinch of hurt hearing Blakely say that.

"Of course he likes you. He's your dad, love." He hunched over encouraging the girl to go over to Michael by hugs and tickles.

"Fine!" Her head fell back in defeat. She skipped over to the other side of the living room. "Dad. Dad. Dad." She repeatedly poked his thigh hoping to get his attention. He looked up acknowledging his daughter only to put it back down as if it was a ghost trying to get his attention.

Blakely turned looking at Calum with a look of defeat. He imitated pulling out his earphones telling her to do so. So that's what she did.

"Jesus, Blake. What do you want?" He asked annoyed.

"Can we please go to the set so I can play? Pleaseee I haven't been in weeks!" She smiled big showing the front tooth she lost.

The set and school were the only times Blakely got to get out of the house. They always thought she loved the playground because she had friends.

But whenever she would go she'd be away from the kids doing her own thing. She always kept to herself. Her dad's friends were her friends and she was okay with that.

"Not right now. Go play in the backyard or something." He shrugged off the little girl shoving his earphones back in.

Blakely glanced over at Calum with a "Told you so" face. It seemed like nothing but all Blakely wanted to do was hang out with her dad.

"Don't act like you've been there for me for seventeen years. Remember age four through seven, because I'll never forget it. You always ignored me, never cooked me any food, and stayed in your room all day and night just so you didn't have to see me. The boys kept getting in trouble because they were late to school taking me to school, so they printed out directions so I could make it to school and home. It lasted seven months! I was seven! I was a kid!"

The two couldn't describe the hurt they felt. And it was killing them so damn bad.

"I was a kid too!" Michael quickly snapped without any hesitation.

They were both kids and had to start growing up at such early ages.

They went through so much but always blocked it out because it was "Old, done, and over with.". And they always knew it'd come back to bite them in the ass.

"You could've been a kid with me! But no. You were forced to grow up so you did the same thing to me and it wasn't fair!" Blakely sobbed her eyes out.

Never once did the two talk about those years. It was never brought up nor asked about. Michael and Blakely wondered about each other if they remembered what happened, but as always they didn't say anything.

"It wasn't fair to me that she left you with me. I didn't even want a fucking kid." His voice lowered so only that she could hear it. Those words hit her like a bus and she was too stumped to respond. Her tears stopped as she sucked in a breath.

"Well good, because you don't have a daughter anymore. Fuck you."

And with that, Blakely walked out of the room slamming the door behind her. The talk was supposed to be about Tanya doing wrong but they turned it on each other.

Blakely wasn't thinking at all but she knew she had to get out of that house. She knew she shouldn't be alone but she couldn't be next to anyone or else she'd take her anger out on them. It was inevitable. Everyone in the living room heard everything. Even the last part. They called out Blakely's name. Watching as the sobbing teen passed them by rushing out of the house.

The warm breeze hit her bare legs; the tears that fell blurred her vision. She sucked back her cries hurrying away from the house. The wet concrete soaked the bottoms of her green slippers she wore. Growing up all Blakely wanted was for her dad to love her and all that trying made her so damn tired.

"Blake! Blakely!" Calum shouted out. His footsteps gained closer.

"Leave me alone, Calum." She said loud enough for him to hear but that didn't stop him.

The moment his hand touched her shoulder she instantly shook him off swiveling around.

"Leave me alone! Do you not understand that?!" You see. Inevitable. But it didn't rub Calum the wrong way because he knew how upset she was and it was completely valid.

"We all heard what he said and he was so fucking wrong for that." And it finally hit Blakely, again. The tears she tried so hard to hold in burst out of her eyes. Her hands hit her face letting the sobs overcome her body.

Before she could hit the wet ground Calum was quick to catch Blakely. She instantly sank into his brace. Her cries filled the quiet street.

"I didn't wanna say anything." She held onto Calum as if he was her life support. She didn't want to let go and neither did he. Even if they didn't see it, they were each other's glue.

"I know, I know. You did the right thing, love." He cooed stroking his hand through her hair.

"It doesn't feel right."

—

The chair Blakely sat on swung back and forth; her eyes looking up at the night sky. After thirty minutes of Calum trying to convince Blakely to come back to the house she only agreed if she stayed in the backyard alone.

So now it was three A.M. and everyone was asleep. More like laying in their beds pissed at Michael. The actual one that fell was Crystal. After she spent an hour screaming her head off at Michael. And Blakely heard a bit of it.

"How could you?!"

"She's your fucking daughter for crying out loud!"

"This isn't her fault! It's Tanya's!"

"Who are you anymore?"

All that screaming gave Crystal a headache and she just wanted to sleep it off. But not in bed with Michael, so she stayed in the living room.

"Hey, Bubba." Ashton walked towards Blakely interrupting the girl from her gaze. She glanced over at Ashton who was holding a blanket and two tea cups.

"I know you wanted to be left alone but I thought you might be freezing." He set the two cups on the coffee table sitting himself beside Blakely.

Her eyes followed away from Ashton and back up to the night sky. The warm blanket hit her freezing body feeling as if it just came out of the dryer.

"Blake..." Ashton trailed off not knowing what he could say. But he knew that she needed someone by her side because he felt the way she was feeling once. And he knew how much it hurt.

"Remember that day when you guys came over and you saw Dad cooking me breakfast? It was the first time in three years that we had an actual conversation. He genuinely laughed at my stupid jokes. You guys thought he was drunk or high off some drug, but no. It was like a switch clicked in him. And I never questioned it because I thought that stupid long nightmare finally ended. But it's back. I don't think it ever left." She sounded so emotionless and tired. She was.

Her hands rubbed against the inside of her thighs and Ashton noticed that earlier. He knew what it meant.

"Your thighs aren't cold, they're itchy." Blakely's heart sank hearing those words. She tried her best to hide it but she was always so careless thinking nobody noticed.

Only Ashton and Blakely knew what it meant because they always told each other it. They both went through rough patches growing up and always noticed when one another wasn't having a good day. And when they were having a really bad day they would lock themselves in a room for hours and hours and then come back with 'cold arms or legs.'

The others were oblivious when Blakely and Ashton always had their eyes on each other worrying about their well-being.

"It was only one time a—and I wasn't thinking straight. Please don't tell anyone, they don't need to know." She quietly said.

As always Ashton would be hard on the girl about hurting herself because he couldn't bear seeing one of his loved ones spiral down a dark hole. But right now he didn't want to give her a lecture, but a hug. His warm embrace took Blakely by surprise but let it take over her. It was going to be a while until Ashton got a hug from her.

—FIVE MONTHS LATER

It's been five months since Blakely has talked to her family. Not once did she try to call or text them. But every day all she got was multiple calls and texts from them. That was until she changed her number and got a new phone. She always thought if nobody needed her she didn't need anyone. So, she dropped the most important people in her life.

Her new life was in Australia with her new friends yet no family. Like no other, they flew down trying to look for Blakely day and night but no luck whatsoever.

She quit her old job at the restaurant to work at a bookstore/cafe. An hour away and left the apartment to live in a small but comfy Airbnb.

Once Blakely found out the apartment was in her name she decided to to rent it out. It made her good money and switching to online school took a better toll on her.

Blakely looked great as if nothing happened. Dyed her hair jet black, cut it a few inches, and got an eyebrow piercing.

She didn't want anyone noticing her but the people she spoke to. Even if Blakely looked great on the outside, the inside was a different story. She was drained, always angry and moody and sometimes it would peek through and she was slowly losing the last of her friends.

She always said she didn't care but at the end of the day it would only be her by herself and she was slowly accepting it. Nobody needed her and she didn't need them. All Blakely did was work and when she was at home she did her schooling. Work, school, eat, sleep, repeat. Nothing new.

"—No, I don't care if she's sorry. That drum-kit is nine hundred bucks—one of a kind! Do you understand—" The sound of the phone call beeped through Blakely's ear. "What the fuck?!" Her angry yell echoed throughout the quiet house as her phone went flying toward the bed.

No way in hell was she going to lose two thousand dollars and be left with broken drums. The young teen cursed under her breath gathering her stuff to head over to the apartment, which was an hour away. Her black purse swung back and forth as she jotted down the stairs.

The house was big and Blakely had it all to herself. It was quiet and it gave her a lot of time to think. She grabbed the keys from the bowl. "Stupid ass people.." She mumbled swinging open the door.

Ready to walk out the door she was instantly stopped by a person standing in front of her. Not any random person, yet someone she longed to see even if she didn't want to admit it. "Blake.." Even if Blakely didn't want to be found, her family never stopped looking for her.

Blakely's once aggravated scowl turns into shock. For a second Blakely thought her mind was playing jokes on her. But the familiar home scent that radiated off the person told her otherwise.

"Dad.." Michael stepped forward, his arms opening for a hug. Blakely couldn't help to stumble back; hurt painting over Michael's face. "Please... You've been gone for so long." His voice shook with despair looking at her as if she never changed. "You said—"

"I know what I said, okay? I've been thinking about that night for five months and I haven't forgiven myself for it, and I don't think I ever will. I—I was drunk and didn't know what the hell I was saying or thinking. It wasn't your fault and I had no right to be mad at you. The people I should've been mad at were Tanya and myself. All you wanted to be was loved by Tanya and she took advantage of that, which wasn't okay at all." He rambled on fast scared that Blakely would shut the door on him. Yet she stepped aside.

"I can't shut the door on your face." Her eyes stuck to the side watching from her peripheral vision. The sound of the door closing was the only sound that interrupted the awkward atmosphere.

"A note wasn't enough, Blake." Michael's eyes never left Blakely's wishing for a small glance. The over-excitement and hurt he felt was very overwhelming. He just wanted to hold his baby girl.

The night Blakely left, she woke up outside on the swinging bench with Ashton, left a note, went back to the hotel to grab her things, and went back to Australia without another thought.

Ashton was the first one to find the note. He jolted awake, worry already setting into the man wondering where his niece went. For ten minutes he searched the house and everyone's rooms hoping that she found another place to sleep because something didn't feel right. The last room he checked was Michael's and he was fast asleep.

"Fuck.." Ashton cursed under his breath making his way downstairs. Many thoughts clouded his mind thinking of the worst but tried his best to throw them to the side.

'She just needed to clear her mind.'

'She left to get breakfast.'

The positive thoughts he tried listening to instantly faded after reading the note that laid on the table. 'I'll be okay. Please don't worry about me.' Such a short note that contained so much detail.

"Guys wake up now!" In a matter of minutes, everyone's tired body was in the kitchen. "Why'd you yell? It's seven in the morning." Sierra whined leaning onto the marble counter.

"Don't you see there's someone missing? Blakely's gone." Ashton slammed the note onto the counter making everyone jerk awake.

"What are you talking about, man?"

"She was in my room earlier to get a sweater to go for a walk."

"Said she loves us and be back with coffees." Sierra finishes off. "Why would she leave a note like this? She's not answering my calls or texts and she turned off her fucking location. Where is she?"

For the next three hours, everyone sat around in different parts of the house sending nermous amounts of texts and calls. Ashton and Sierra left the house to drive around hoping they'd see Blakely walking the streets.

The house stayed quiet as if it was empty but they were all silently freaking out. "What if something's happened to her? She should've answered one of the thousand texts we've all sent!" Calum paced back and forth; his eyes not leaving his phone.

"We all know she isn't mentally okay after what happened last night. After what Mike said to her." Calum couldn't describe the anger he felt towards Michael. Calum pushed past Luke making his way to the living room.

"We need to think right now, Cal." Luke chased behind Calum saying whatever he could to try and calm him down. "If you never said any of that shit to her she'd still be here. You were supposed to be mad at Tanya, not your daughter!" Calum angrily shouted. "I know what I said and I was drunk out of my mind." Michael got up from the couch starting to cautiously walk towards him.

By the looks of it, Calum wanted to kill Michael. "And you think that's an excuse?" Calum scoffed, his anger growing by the second.

"I'm sure she's okay, we just—” Calum's nails dug into his palm from how hard his fist was balled. Before Michael could get his words out the stinging sensation spread through his cheek. The same going for Calum's fist.

"It was for me." The girl mumbled looking down at the ground as if it was the most interesting thing. "We thought you were dead." Michael's voice shook hurting him to say it.

'I feel dead.' That distant voice echoed in the back of Blakely's mind. "I had to get out or else I wouldn't be here." She deadpanned. Saying that didn't hurt Blakely as much as it hurt Michael. The ache he felt for his daughter was unbearable.

"Please look at me." His voice was wobbly as if he was on the verge of crying. They both were.

Blakely's head hung low; her bottom lip quivered swallowing the lump in her throat. The anger she felt not even five minutes ago was replaced with melancholy. 'Suck it up', is what her mind yelled at her but she couldn't.

Her eyes slowly travelled up already feeling her eyes burn. Blakely wanted to break down and cry, yet Michael looked at her in a sad awe waiting for this moment. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. A sad smile sat on her face.

"I'm really sorry." No matter how much Blakely tried to tell herself everyone would be better off without her, a part of her knew they were all a wreck.

Her eyes met the ground once again watching as her salty tears hit the ground. Michael took a step close, his arms encircling her body gently. He pulled the surprised girl into an embrace feeling like he just woke up from a terrible nightmare.

The tears she held in for months soaked into his shirt. "I should be sorry. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

—

Twelve hours and Blakely was standing in front of Calum's house. In California. Everything was quite a blur. Packing. Getting on the plane. The awkward silence of not knowing what to say. The homely smell the moment she stepped foot out of the airplane. Everything came rushing back in minutes and Blakely hated it.

After Michael texted everyone they texted back within seconds except for one person. And all Blakely wanted was one text so she could stop the overthinking.

Walking into the house was weird for Blakely. She hadn't been in the house for two years. Being with Tanya, she never let the teen step foot back in California. With new decor, and new painted walls, South and Moose couldn't stop barking at the girl until she snuggled them to death.

Everyone was at the house waiting for Blakely to arrive and when she did non-stop hugs, kisses, and crying. Not a bit of anger in sight, just love.

But one person was missing and still didn't answer their texts. That was the one person Blakely wanted to see. Don't get Blakely wrong, she loved everyone with everything in her heart, but the relationship between her and Calum was beyond different.

So standing in front of his house knowing he probably wanted nothing to do with Blakely made her want to run and never look back. Five minutes turned into ten, and ten turned into twenty. Still finding herself looking at the brown door.

"Nothing's gonna happen if you don't make it happen." Blakely huffed at herself hesitantly bringing her hand up to the doorknob. She was so scared because she knew Calum knew she was back and not a word from him.

Her sweaty palm turned on the handle slowly pushing it open, cautious of what was on the other side.

"Hello?" Her voice echoed throughout the quiet house. The only noise filling the house was the low music playing on the vinyl. The small husky bounced towards Blakely snorting happily.

"Hey, Duke." Blakely kneeled down petting the the hyper dog.

"I'm surprised he remembers you." Blakely's head shot up in surprise. There he stood, his hands stuffed in his pocket staring down at her.

"Cal, I'm so sorry." Like the last six times that was the first thing she said.

"Are you?" He scoffed as a cocky smile played on his face.

"Cal—"

"No, you don't get to talk." The way Calum snapped at Blakely shocked her. His voice was sharp and direct.

"You decide to leave one day and disappear for months? We thought you were dead for hours after you left that stupid note! It wasn't fair to the people who did nothing to you and you know it. I waited and waited hoping you'd text me because I knew I did nothing wrong but you made it seem like I did. Me out of everyone deserved a text." It sounded selfish but both of them knew it was true.

"We grew up together, dude! Day after day, twenty-four-seven we were together because we needed each other. And when I needed you the most you were nowhere in sight."

When Michael wasn't being a dad to Blakely, Calum was. He sacrificed so much for the girl but always said it was nothing when it was everything.

He quit his soccer team just so he could be with Blakely so she wouldn't be alone. Decided to get a job so Blakely could get what she wanted, even if she didn't need it.

There was never a fight between the two. School, making music, and working was hard but Calum didn't care because it was all for Blakely.

His jaw tensed keeping his anger in check. Blakely noticed the gloss in his eyes which he was quick to blink away. Blakely stood nervous fiddling with the end of her sweater. Never once has Calum yelled at her. Not like this. She hated it.

"You can't run away from your problems. They'll just come back even worse." He leaned off the wall making his way into the kitchen as if the conversation was done with.

"Cal, please! I'm sorry! What can I say?!" Hurt riddled in her voice following after him.

"That's the thing! There's nothing to say!" He whipped around revealing the tears in his eyes.

Blakely stopped in her tracks flinching at his reaction. The sob he held in for so long finally escaped following with more. Blakely knew she hurt him but not this bad. There was nothing she could think of but to hug him. So that's what she did.

Her arms wrapped around him engulfing him into a hug letting his tears soak her sweater. "I thought you were dead." He sobbed.

"I'm so sorry. I was only thinking about myself not knowing how bad you guys were hurting. Never will I do something like that again."

Her head rested on his chest while Calum's rested on her shoulder. Holding her tight, scared as if she was going to disappear again.

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