Honest question. What tags do I use in ao3 to give me the EXACT vibe of retirement party? Bc I’m craving more like a junkie and I need a fix 😭
I have no idea! But here, have a little something from a few chapters ahead that I wrote in a fit of inspiration after reading this by @syoddeye. I might also recommend looking at Sy's work! They have lots of really good stuff in there. Also @391780 has a ton of awesome stories and was a big inspiration for how I write John Price. I always assume people have read their work but if you haven't? You're in for a treat.
Spoilers ahead, kinda, sorta. It could get scrapped if things take a turn I'm not expecting! I don't know!
The hand on your shoulder pulls you out of your focus.
You startle, knocking your headphones back from your ears with the back of your hand, smearing paint on your cheekbone. John stands above you, holding a glass of water like a peace offering.
“I knocked, but I don’t think you could hear me over your music,” he explains. “Haven’t heard a peep from you since this morning, and I was starting to worry.”
“What time is it now?” you ask, reaching for the glass and then pulling your hands back. Your hands are covered in paint. “Oh, shoot. I should’ve grabbed a rag. Give me a tic, I’ll wash my hands.” You try to uncurl your legs, and fall sideways into John’s legs. “Hm. Okay.”
“Legs asleep?” John sets the glass of water on the dresser and crouches down to help you rearrange your unresponsive legs out in front of you. He reaches for the glass of water again. “Poor thing.”
“My own fault. I thought I set an alarm, but I probably just typed the time into the calculator app.” It wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened. Pins and needles prickle up and down your legs.
“You need to drink this,” John says, holding the water up to your lips. His other hand curls around the back of your head to grip your messy ponytail, tilting your head back so he can carefully pour water into your mouth. He makes you drink the whole glass, one sip at a time, his eyes turned dark, blue nearly eclipsed by black. Your eyes fix on his, something soft wrapping around your brain as you watch the way his gaze tracks from your mouth down to your throat and back up. When the glass is empty, he sets it aside, but doesn’t let go of your hair. He tips your head back again, tracing his thumb across your lower lip, collecting a few errant drops of water.
Your lips part, and he slides his thumb inside your mouth, his breath catching as he presses down on your tongue.
“Good fuckin’ girl,” he growls. Your clit throbs at his words. You curl your tongue around the digit, tasting the salt of his skin. The hand tangled in your hair tightens just a little. “You ready to let me take care of you?” His thumb pops free.
It takes a moment for you to collect yourself enough to speak. “Please.”
Dividers by @/cafekitsune
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Just watched Brokeback Mountain for the first time and I need to talk about it.
Throughout the movie, we see Ennis experience a lot of intense discomfort and fear at the idea of being intimate with a man, despite it becoming abundantly clear in the details and based on his actions that that is indeed what he wants. He even admits to Jack that this fear stems from an experience he had at a young age, when his father showed him two men who were presumed to be lovers (they were roommates vibes), murdered and castrated, with him basically using it as a lesson to show Ennis that being gay was wrong and would get you killed.
Jack on the other hand was a little less discomforted or fearful at the idea of being with a man, in that we actually saw him return the following summer to Brokeback Mountain hoping Ennis would be there, only for him to show up alone. We saw how after this he confidently approached a man at the bar hoping to get to know him, only to get rejected and risk getting hate crimed (foreshadowing 😭). And we saw how, over time, Jack’s struggle had more to do with being hurt over Ennis’ unwillingness to commit or even just consider the possibility of them being together long term, even despite the risk of being gay in the 60’s.
Near the end of the film, upon Jack’s death, Ennis discovers from his father that over the past 20 years since they met at Brokeback Mountain, Jack constantly brought it up to his folks, how Ennis, his friend, was going to move up to their ranch and they were going to build a cabin and live together and take over for the family.
Jack was often the one in the moment taking the chances for them to be together. He was the one who mentioned that they could go to Mexico, with Ennis furiously rejecting it saying ‘you know what happens to people like you there??’
But what’s even more painful, is that in this same scene, Ennis’ acknowledges the truth more directly, and why it’s so painful is because it ends up ironically coming true:
Here, Ennis is basically saying that if he decides to be with Jack for real, aka faces his queerness head on, that’s going to be the thing that gets them (Jack) killed. Shortly after this, Jack loses it and has that infamous ass monologue, followed by Ennis breaking down over how it’s Jack’s fault that he’s this way in the first place.
In the end, when Jack dies, Ennis finds out about what happened from Jack’s wife, Lureen Newsome, who said Jack was pumping up a flat out on a backroad when his tire blew up, with the rim of the tire slamming his face, breaking his nose and jaw, and knocking him unconscious on his back. By the time someone drove by on the deserted backroad, he had drowned in his own blood.
The audience might’ve believed this story, if it wasn’t for how rehearsed it sounded coming out of Lureen’s mouth, but it also doesn’t help that images of Jack being hate crimed as his true cause of death are flashing across Ennis’s mind in real time while Lureen is telling him about the ‘accident’.
While it’s left up to interpretation, it’s implied from what his wife and father said, that Jack was hate-crimed by his father in law, with it being covered up.
Broken nose? Broken jaw?… Those are the kinds of wounds someone endures after being beaten up. And if it’s happening to the point of death, then he was essentially beaten to death.
This then fits into what Jack’s father said, because apparently, shortly before he died, he’d told his father he’d found a different friend that was going to come up there to the ranch with him. And so it’s very likely Lureen’s father caught wind of this as his plans to leave neared, leading to his murder (Jack also bitched his father in law tf out in an epic way, which on its own felt unnecessary in the moment, but within the context of this makes a whole lot more sense).
Either way, it seems Jack waited for Ennis to change his mind. 20 years he waited, and when Ennis didn’t, Jack finally moved on with someone else who made an offer of his own years before, only to get murdered just as Ennis feared he would if he decided to live his life authentically.
Ennis initially found out like this, in a postcard that bounced of him inquiring Jack about seeing each other again after that last massive fall out where they had, only for Ennis’s worst fear to be realized:
Nov 7th with deceased stamped across it has me spiraling 😭
Now, obviously Brokeback Mountain is one of the most well known queer films of all time, like there’s no denying that. So it’s fairly easy to assume ST could be taking some inspiration from this film just like they have with hundreds upon hundreds of other films. But especially if they are planning to go the queer route, homage to this film is pretty much guaranteed (there’s also one more reason it might be guaranteed, but I’m saving that for the end 🤣).
Regardless, as you can probably already tell, it’s very easy to see similarities between Ennis with Mike and Jack with Will.
Mike getting the ‘you see Michael? You see what happens?’ treatment from his father, in the first episode in the series, is very Ennis coded in that this is a TV show that follows that up with seasons of Mike pushing Will away from him, with it leading to a boiling point where he says, ‘What did you think? Really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? That we were just gonna sit in my basement in play games for the rest of our lives?’ with Will responding, ‘Yeah. I guess I did. I really did,’ aka extremely Jack coded.
The really epic thing about this though, is that ST is clearly going on a different journey than Brokeback Mountain did, in that it’s simply subverting the bury your gays trope. While they are acknowledging the risk of being queer in the 80’s, they’re not letting it end ‘realistically’ like many people have insisted it must because that is the only option. And this will be a satisfying ending because it’s coming as a response to all those heartbreaking stories before it that have reinforced this idea that happy endings just aren’t an option for gay people who simply want to be together.
While Ennis and Jack didnt get their happy ending like they wanted, Mike and Will on the other hand 😏
And last but not least, on a more hilariously ironic note, the guy who Jack was going to settle for in the end instead of Ennis, was a guy named Randall Malone, played by none other than David fucking Harbour.
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Regarding Dean, but especially regarding Rowena, you know?
CATRIONA: Ohhh... Raggedy Ann.
ROWENA: Excuse me?
CATRIONA: I remember you-- a rag doll all huddled on our doorstep. (then) I swore I could see the fleas nibbling away at what was left of your dirty little body.
On ROWENA, eyes lowered. Angrier and angrier as Catriona speaks--
CATRIONA: But still-- still you thought you were worthy of our magic. And when we disagreed... (giggles) Oh, how you begged. How you threw yourself down and...offered yourself to each of us-- Boyd almost took you up on it-- but I told him it would be cleaner with the pigs--
ROWENA: Enough!
Performing Dean is one thing, but we see that Rowena's performance is actually one of the most painful of all. (She's the tanner's daughter, you see, who smells of filth and death, but oh oh how she wants you to see her power and her glitz and her glamor and her prestige-)
12x11 Regarding Dean
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(Text Attributions// Supernatural scripts here via @spnscripthunt. Transcripts are located here via SPNWiki. Visit their Tumblr to donate.)
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