#the clear memes were real oh my gosh

[cielospeaks]

me since ricky was finalized in game: s tier ricky cn anni pack that is truth inference verse and posthumous

i win!!!!

[nerdyenby]

Orange time :D I’m watching Jojo

TOASTER!!!!!! :DD

Jojo wanting to get Pearl her first win <33

Watching people study ace race is such an experience

Owen be well rested, well fed, and well moisturized and Jojo just being… fine… lol

Jojo’s comms are so iconic and for what

Wait I didn’t realize Owen was pg lmao

This team’s sot is going to be legendary

“I will do anything for everyone” my streamer’s a team player <33

Stupid bodies trying to keep us alive, smh

AIMSEY!!!!! :D

Nooooo Olliegamerz D:

This team top three EASILY come on guys

“Jojo, how would you describe me as a sandkeeper” best in the business baby!!!!

Pocket sand???? Omg genloss reference 👀 /hj

Nooooo purpled D:

It’s so fun seeing so many contestants just coincidentally fighting to the death in water fight

“Turns out all you had to do to make skybattle my favorite game is remove fall damage, remove armor, and remove swords” “-and give everyone guns” “and give everyone guns!!”

“Orange is my name, orange is my game. Get your daily dose of vitamin C”

WHERE ARE YOUR PRONOUNS AIMSEY /j /lh

“Say that I’m giving birth because I am pushing” AIMEEEEE 😭😭😭

“They ‘said what are you wearing’” “Do you want me to kill them?” Jojo that one meme fr

Jojo being ready and willing to kill transphobes is so ally of her

Did Jojo just get two aces back to back??????? And not even bat an eye???? Queen shit

Pearl accidental igl arc, everyone listening to everyone she says as gospel, as they should

This team is so <33333

Aimsey being so excited that they still have their crown is so <3

“I’ve just won, I’ve had one glass on wine, I’m with Pearl, I’m having a beautiful time today” Aimsey’s living xeir best life!!

It’s the smallest thing, but Owen using “they” for Aimsey when he’s not in the call can be something so personal

They’re so funny and for what

“MCC reminds me that time is always passing” SAME

Rocket Spleef

The vocal stimming is strong with this one

Freinds who lose together stay together ig 😂

Owen popping off!!!

False appreciation hour :))

Hole in the Wall

Their comms are so good!!!

These walls do feel trickier but it might just be the map, idk

Aimsey’s popping off!! 4th!!!!!!

This team is so well balanced, they’re wild

Skybattle

I love this team so much, they’re simultaneously chill and stressed but like in a fun way

That border is so fast what

JOJO OH MY GOSH!!!!! /pos

Aimsey is such a good hypeman :))

TWELVE KILLLLLLLSSSSSSS

Can’t believe she’s the only person ever <333

Jojo and Ran <333

Meltdown

Pearl taking charge my beloved :))

“Pearl, you’re my hero” so true Jojo!!!

Aimsey going absolutely wild!!!!

I figured it out!!!! This team is super good at listening to each other, they keep comms clear while having good banter. The respect they have for each other both as players and as people is so evident in how they talk to and treat each other and it’s just so <333

Omg that was so silly of them

“That was kinda funny” “It was kinda funny” so true!!!

Aimsey is so freaking funny and for what, their humor is so under appreciated

THATS MY TEAM!!!!! LOOK AT THEM GO!!!!!!!

“I feel very safe in Pearl’s guidance” Owen’s so real for that, honestly

Jojo’s screams when Aimsey fell were so /pos

Them shouting at Jojo to go in without them

“All my friends are dead 😢” lol

OWEN AND PEARL!!!!!!

Them hyping each other up and being so happy for each other up means everything

“I’m gonna go kiss my girlfriend, be right back” “okay, alright, go brag about it” they’re everything, actually

Jojo thanking Pearl for being igl and telling her how good a job she did <333

This team is just so soft and encouraging and trusting, I love them so much you guys

Aimsey truly is the swiftie of all time

Battle Box

Strategy time :))

Jojo getting hard targeted rip

Good round against purple there!!!

This map is very rough, even when watching teams that are doing well it still feels bad a lot of the time

Double trouble is over now, it can’t hurt you anymore

“I’m so close to writing a twitlonger about that map” Aimsey my beloved lmao

“If we skip sands of time I’m babyraging, I’m saying this now” “Babyraging? I’m full on raging, I don’t even care” my streamers are so based

Ace Race

I love Aimsey so much you guys

Jojo and Owen top 3 and 4?!?!!!!!

First and second?!!??!!! Orange 33 supremacy!!!!!!!

Pearl’s little giggle at Owen’s pun killed me actually /pos

Pete appreciation hour <333

“ASSHOL- I mean… butthole” nice save

That exact tie is wild tho

“Bottom ten” “or: top thirty” Owen my beloved

Aimsey popping off!!! Don’t be hard on yourself king, you’re killing it <33

“The M in MCC stands for misogynist” Aimsey is the funniest person on the planet actually

Grid Runners

Best game time :))

Owen being so excited to learn new minecraft mechanics is so /pos

They’re so smooth with it!!!!

This run is a piece of art holy crap

That redstone room kinda got them but they figured it out really well considering I don’t think any of them are super familiar with redstone

Oh my gosh their running commentary of the score breakdown was so freaking funny

Punctuation matters lmao

“Hold on, I’m just gonna- dear Taylor Swift, please may we play sands of time today, amen” AIMSEY

Sands of Time

Owen, hon, it’s eleven and it does not matter /lh

Aimsey is such a good sandkeeper you guys

Incredible comms, amazing vibes, I love them so much

“No worries… a little bit worried, but it’s ok” I love Owen

NOOOOOOOOO SO CLOSEEEEEE

They did so good tho ;-;

Pearl 21st individual!!! That’s my girl!!!!

Owen and Pearl synchronized reassurance <333

Dodgebolt

“All the glory, none of the pressure” so true Owen

“We consistently defied expectations” MCC Reddit is sexist as hell, I predicted y’all third because I’m always right and have never been wrong ever /hj

“I don’t know who I need to bribe to get Aimsey as a sandkeeper again but I would- I would sell my house” OWEN BASED

Aimsey getting the appreciation they deserve 💗💕💗💗💕💕💗💕💗💗💕💗💗

I entirely thought Aimsey said captain crunch lmao

Ok I don’t like Sapnap for several reasons (rancid vibes, toxic as hell, bffs with a racist and a groomer) and I’m not a fan of Punz either but Ponk being the first Black player to win MCC is huge and also disgusting that it’s taken 33 events, so happy for them and Gumi too <3

This team was amazing, I love them so much

Pearl I love you so much, please be kind to yourself, you’re incredible and don’t be hard on yourself <333

Oli and Jojo are everything, actually

“I want proof of one person who put you guys low” “Callum put us in 8th!!” “Callum is stupid, bro!!!!” Cpk slander is never not funny to me, I love that guy but he’s a fool /pos

[lurkingshan]

bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you-meme!

Tagged by @telomeke, thanks friend! I had to get through the weekend drama deluge before I could clear out some brain space to answer this one properly, because I never mess around when I'm talking Bad Buddy.

Name and whatever you want to share about yourself

Shan, she/her, I live in the US. I am a lifelong consumer of stories and both an avid reader and drama watcher. I write a lot of meta because when I enjoy a thing I love to dissect and unpack it, and I post on tumblr because I have the most fun when I do that with other people.

When did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom?

I watched Bad Buddy live when it was airing! I was not on tumblr then but I was lurking around fandom spaces and following the week to week discussions around the show, but not actively participating in them. After that my interest in bl as a genre only grew, so I created this blog about 9 months ago to start joining in the fun.

Favourite ship/s

Pat/Pran, of course. They are amongst my all time favorite couples that I've seen in any media, period. I will spice this up by also admitting Pa/Ink didn't do all that much for me. They were just a bit too underwritten for me; I am not someone that is wowed by side crumbs or enjoys filling in the gaps myself. But I am really looking forward to seeing Milk and Love headline their own show soon.

Favourite character/s

Going to take a stand here and throw my love Pat's way, because Pran is the character most in fandom seem to connect with. But I just love Pat. He's such a kind and loyal and devoted person at heart. He's a little bit of a himbo about his emotions, but he's also quite smart in his own way and he understands more than people realize. I love his easy acceptance of his own sexuality but also others around him. He has good instincts about people and it's no coincidence he ends up surrounded by such a good community of his own making. And I respect the hell out of his willingness to fight the constraints of filial piety to call his father on his bullshit. He is someone Pran can trust to stick with him through a lot of hard shit, and his easy forgiveness of Pran's more prickly attributes is crucial to their relationship health. For someone with such a healthy ego, Pat has no problem putting it aside for the man he loves. That's real strength, right there.

Favourite episode/s

Joining the pile on for Episode 11, my beloved. When I tell you I was sobbing the first time I watched it. Tears just pouring down my face from the moment Pat told Pran he understood they had to go back all the way through Pran's song for Pat and their return home. It's one of the most moving sequences I have ever seen in a romance, the way they came to the realization of what they were facing, chose each other anyway, and decided they were going to find a way to stay together, even if it couldn't be in exactly the way they hoped.

Favourite scene/s

Oh gosh, there are just so many. The aforementioned sequence in ep 11, both major rooftop scenes, that lone tear tracking down Pran's face at the end of episode 4, Pat confronting Ming. On the lighter side, there's also the brainstorming roleplay from ep 3, pretty much every courtship scene where they flirted via PPL, the FINGER LICK, the final episode wrestling match and sex acrobatics. Every scene between Pat and Pran was just aces.

One thing you would change about the show if you could

*cracks knuckles*

Okay, fam, just remember, you asked! Bad Buddy is one of my favorite shows of all time, but as I have discussed with @waitmyturtles at length, it is not perfect and I have some serious quibbles with it from a writing standpoint. My top 3:

Wai outing Pran and then Pran spending the whole episode apologizing to him. Nonsensical, infuriating, and the show didn’t do the work to make us understand Pran and Wai’s friendship enough to accept that. I still hate poor Jimmy's face to this day and I blame that on Aof.

Pat gets shot as the deus ex machina to resolve the Wai plot. Villain comes out of nowhere in the same episode, the whole situation is tonally discordant, no follow through and the injury is treated like he got a paper cut in the aftermath. It's just lazy writing. Honestly, send all of episode 9 to the trash heap.

Finale fake out. Aof undercut his own themes about the struggle of the closet and sublimation of your own needs in service of filial piety in order to play a prank on the audience. Dumb waste of half the finale’s run time that actively worked against the message he sought to deliver, and that ep 12 preview nearly ruined ep 11 for a lot of people. Luckily the second half of the finale was so strong it made up for it, but I maintain the fake out was a bad choice that I would definitely go back and change.

What are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people?

I am a meta girlie at heart so I am always most excited reading deep dives. I cannot possibly remember all the good shit I have read on Bad Buddy, but I'll give a shoutout to the BBS (gender neutral) girlies keeping the meta alive to this day @telomeke @ranchthoughts @dudeyuri @dimplesandfierceeyes @chickenstrangers @miscellar @grapejuicegay. I am always so excited when I see new posts about this show on my dash and I had a great time clowning with you all on OS2.

What are your favourite fanworks you've made?

I wasn't here when the show was airing so I actually don't have a deep library of my own meta for this show (not that made it onto tumblr, anyway). But one of the fun things about being in bl fandom is we get to make connections across the shows we're all watching, so I'll give a shoutout to this post I did drawing a line between Pran and Jae Won of The Eighth Sense.

A song that makes you think of BBS (not in the show)

It's gotta be Same Page? by Tilly Birds. It's not actually played in the show, but Pat briefly references it when he's teasing Pran in their final scene together, and y'all, look at these lyrics:

Me missing you is missing Me missing you is missing along the way Me missing you is missing Me missing you is missing along the way Do you realize how much I am agonized? I only want to know If you and I are on the same page I really want to know if you have a change of heart Or is it just me thinking? Or is there something missing? Like how my feelings never reach you

Feels pretty appropriate for a long-distance couple with more separation ahead, doesn't it? It's fine, I am very normal about this.

Thanks again for tagging me, Tel, this was fun! I am adding @neuroticbookworm @blmpff @manogirl @invisiblegarters @slayerkitty @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle in case you want to play, and anyone else I tagged above who hasn't done it yet, consider yourselves tagged!

[secretly-of-course]

*clears throat* Andi Mack Holiday AU Andi Mack Holdiday AU Andi Mack Holiday AU (or if you were already asked about it I'd love to hear about/see a snippet of your Huntlow texting piece or your Andi Mack Miraculous AU)

Hiiii thanks for asking! Gosh I started the Holiday AU quite a while ago and kinda lost steam but I definitely want to revisit it some day! It begins with Andi living in LA having just recently broken up with Walker, and TJ living in Shadyside having recently broken up with Marty (though unlike the movie both breakups were amicable). Andi of course ends up meeting Amber on her trip and TJ ends up meeting Cyrus. Here's a snippet!

At that thought, Andi sat straight up in bed. “I need a vacation!” she shouted to the empty room. She hopped out of bed and reached for her laptop, quickly typing out the url for Jumble. Bex and Bowie had used Jumble for their honeymoon and couldn't stop praising it, now this was the perfect opportunity for Andi to try it herself.

The only problem was, Andi had no idea where she wanted to go. “Universe!” Andi called out as her dad often did, “Where should I go!?”

Andi sat for a minute waiting for a sign. Nothing happened. Not very seren-dope-ity. Andi rolled her eyes as dark walls stared back at her and fetched her coin purse. She figured it would be easiest to go somewhere in the United States so she wouldn't have to renew her passport. She’d simply flip a coin to decide what half of the country to look at and keep narrowing it down from there. Andi reached into the purse and pulled out a quarter, illuminated only by the light of her computer.

“Okay. Heads I go East. Tails I stay West,” she said to herself. But before Andi could flip the coin, the tails side caught her eye. Two trains faced each other in front of a mountain range, along with the words “Crossroads of the West.” It was a 2007 Utah state quarter.

“Utah,” Andi pondered in the dark. “Okay universe,” she said with a growing smile on her face.

…

The sound of TJ’s phone buzzing startled him as he was just falling asleep. He grabbed it annoyance before focusing on what was on his screen.

New notification from Jumble! tjk1996 has a new message from mackandi!

Any annoyance TJ was feeling completely vanished as he read mackandi’s message. A person--a real life person--actually wanted to visit Shadyside. And she was from Los Angeles no less! TJ was practically buzzing with excitement as he and his new match, Andi, chatted.

mackandi: so is shadyside relatively quiet? i'm looking for a relaxing getaway

tjk1996: super quiet! i promise no one will bother you except maybe my sister when she comes to water the plants

tjk1996: and for fun we have a nice park, a movie theater, and a flea market every weekend

tjk1996: oh also the spoon it's the best diner in the whole state

mackandi: sounds perfect!!!

tjk1996: so, when do you want to do this?

There was a pause before Andi's reply came in. TJ held his breath in anticipation.

mackandi: is tomorrow too soon?

I'll answer the other parts below the cut!

.

The Andi Mack miraculous au was an idea I had a while back, I actually did end up posting my design for Andi as Ladybug here! I didn't get as far with Chat Noir TJ though. Just a rough sketch!

Unlike the show, this would NOT be a ladybug x chat noir romance, they're friends! In this AU I would give Cyrus the turtle, Buffy the tiger, Jonah the fox, Amber the snake, and Kira the bee. If there are any love square shenanigans it would be between TJ and Cyrus (TJ likes Cyrus as a civilian. Cyrus likes Chat Noir as a hero. They don't know each other's identities.) I'm not really sure who the villain would be though.

I think I might have posted my huntlow texting sketch before but I don't remember for sure so here it is again and the meme it's based on. The show has taken their relationship a lot further than it was when I started this, so I'm not sure if I will finish it one day or not. I still think they are cute though :)

[frozenambiguity]

You capture Kaeya delightfully! To be honest, Kaeya wasn't a character I was truly enthralled with until your blog arrived - that isn't to say he wasn't beloved, but your admiration of him and the effort you go into to make him come alive made me love him wholeheartedly. Your portrayal of how the ragbros were in the past, how they reside in the present, is one of my favorites too; it's so deeply gut-wrenching that I can't help but be like "oh no this is so sad... oh wait there's another post don't mind me just gonna read that one too--". You portray that heartache with such groundbreaking sincerity that I can't help but be enamored.

I love, love, love that you picked Kaeya up and allowed us to see your clear passion for him. He feels so real; his every emotion, his every action, it has such power behind it. You also write his mischievous ways lovingly, as well! You've snuck in a few lines in threads that made me think "oh, yep, that's Kaeya alright." You're doing wonderfully, thank you for letting us see your wonderful interpretation.

「   ASK MEME :   HOW’S MY PORTRAYAL?   」

Ooc; Oh my gosh, Olivia!!! I was not expecting to receive such a detailed compliment...! I am absolutely speechless right now due to your kindness! I mean, you didn't have to do so, but I am ever so thankful for the extensive feedback.

This message is something I definitely will treasure for eternity... This makes me so, so happy to hear. You have no idea. My true purpose whenever I pick up a character is to increase awareness, but also to hopefully get people more interested in them! So to hear my portrayal of Kaeya has somewhat improved and marked your experience is... like a mission accomplished...! I feel so happy now...

I feel like no words will be sufficient to express my gratitude. Thank you for following my blog. Thank you for becoming my mutual. Thank you for the sweet message, and thank you for supporting and enjoying my work.

I definitely am looking forward to interacting with you sometime! The thought and love you put into your characters are equally admirable, and one can sense it by a mile. I am glad to have you be part of my dash. My experience totally would not be the same without you. <3

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[fipindustries]

critical missive

dedicated to @cryptovexillologist

oh boy arent we in a fine pickle now?

usually i enjoy talking openly and bluntly about my opinions on whatever the last thing i read is, safe and secure in the knowledge that the author will most likely never stumble on my measily 700 followers tumblr blog, so i am free to express my opinion to my heart’s content knowing that no feelings will get hurt. 

mission critical would be no different except i talked with the author and read their acknoledgement and the AMA they did on discord after writing the story and they have endeared themselves thoroughly to me so my language will have to be neutered, at least for the first half of this excercise. afterwards things will get a bit harsher but i’ll try to rest at ease in the knowledge that we seem to be kindred spirits and i would be delighted in hearing any kind of criticism of my work either positive or negative. 

ok, enough coaching done, lets go on to what i thought of this novel.

it is a delightful romp, as i said before, the worldbuilding is understated and realistic with enough glimpses of depth and detail to suggest a much larger picture. this world feels inhabited, lived in, like it was well chewed on for long by the author before putting pen to paper. consequentially the characters that arose from this world feel like they belong, they feel like real people with real lifes. by far the strongest sections of the book were the flashbacks to their lives before the plot started. their voices, regretably, do sound very similar when interacting with each other but in their own sections the characters shine in their charm and cleverness. every time one of their flashbacks ended i was left with the intrigue and the desire to know how their particular story would continue.

the terra ignota influences are very noticeable, the world and its people carry the same kind of almost childlike positivity and innocence, the same kind of cheerful, happy go lucky trust in human progress and the great project of humanity for the future with the same sobering forlorn attitude towards the horrors of the past.

on top of that its silly, gosh in heaven it is silly. it has moments of cringe, in the best of ways. strange slapdash bits of flavor, immature non sequiturs, small indulgences from the author’s own weird interests and dumb meme humor. i do love me my awkward corners in a book, after all it is those that make something unique. there is a clear personality poking through and it is a delightful personality to meet.

i cant help but like this almost more for the context in which it was written than for the content itself, it was done during quarentine as a way to both stave off cavin fever and to process the author’s feelings regarding their gender identity. as someone who also wrote a story where i almost deliberatly tried to trick my self into breaking my own egg and who turned madly towards creative endeavors to survive the pandemic i can sympathize strongly with this. i am really happy that the author got to do this and kickstarted a project towards a big, possibly decades spanning trilogy.

so, yeah, those were the nice things i had to say, if you are content enough with that you can stop here but if you are curious to know more, well... you can

in short: it is a bit of a mess. again, im willing to be lenient, considering the way in which this was worked on, this is very much a really early first draft. the second half of this story was a very slow and very boring trudge towards a sudden end.

first, the fact that the flashbacks and the worldbuilding bits are the strongest part of this story means the actual plot itself suffers from being fairly boring and generic. “astronauts explore alien planet, find spooky stuff there” was already old hat by the 50′s. it is a plot so worn down and archetypical that it really cant survive if that is literally all you are going to do with it, and that is kind of all that this book does. i did mention moments of flavor and strange self indulgence. we needed way more of those. yes thats right, im saying that this story was not self indulgent enough. when you have such a well trodden plot such as this, worn down to the point that it becomes paint by the numbers, we need quirky, we need cringe, we need strange excess and personality. the author mentioned that they would love to see some of the weirder alexandria fan fics, well so do i! be the miracle you want to see in the world! the moments alexandria debated if wether identifying as a trilateral were amazing but they were not enough. we have a great structure here but lets put some proper meat on these bones, some proper fat and skin, some clown make up and a weird novelty hat and outrageous clown shoes. im getting carried away here, lets get back to the point.

the other problem is  there is not a clear trajectory for the story here, no well defined moment of climax and the emotional beats tend to fall a bit flat or to come out of nowhere. there are emotional crisis which i sort of missed or didnt get where they came from. the characters act in ways that are hard to relate to  that come off as stilted. the way they conduct themselves through the mission felt at times weirdly unprofessional and like it didnt follow much of a logical throughline, and when i say logical i dont meant “i wanted the characters to act hyperrational at all times” i mean i want the characters to act in ways that make human sense. ironically the one character that acted a bit too human for my tastes was the AI. alexandria is an interesting character but i feel that the place to explore that idea is not in the middle of an incredibly important mission where having your mainframe experience a crisis might not be the most practical thing in the world.

the ending was jarringly sudden, i didnt feel there was a proper resolution and finishing it off with flashbacks to the time the characters were training was... odd. i reached the last line and it felt like the story had just decided to stop without ever having reached anything that came even close to the third act. all of this can be easily fixed with some concientious editing and a complete rearrangement of the different sections of this story.

all in all a great first step in what i hope will be a long career as a writer.

[soulrph]

hey!! sorry this isn’t a request, but i was just wondering if you had any advice for feeling like one of your partners doesn’t like you. they hardly ever send me memes and when they do, i never get a reply to the starters i write. they take forever to reply to me but not to most others. i know it might just be in my head and i might be being too demanding but i just hate being stuck in uncertainty, yknow? honestly, i’d rather them just tell me they don’t want to write than leave me hanging.

hi angel!! oh my gosh, not at all, i love answering these questions!! and naturally, it goes without saying that my answer is NOT the absolute final conclusion, it's just my own perspective, i can promise you there's loads of opinions on this particular issue, so please don't feel that my answer is IT, you know?

currently, things are bad. not as bad as before, but still Bad. honestly, none of us know how to react or what to do. there's no normal, no standard. it's been a long, gruelling year, and i have to marvel at how we've managed to get through it! look at you! you made it through! good job!! and the thing is, it doesn't matter HOW we get through it. i've seen people hurl themselves into the rpc again, writing constantly and beautifully and fervently. escapism is masterful stuff, ya know? but i've also seen people withdraw from the rpc. i've seen rises in positivity and anon hate and i've seen constant fluctuations in what we do to feel better on the dash. i've seen a LOT nonnie!! but i digress.

for starters, this mutual of yours might be sticking to what they know. i don't know if you're close with them or if you've interacted oocly with them, but i know that breaking the ice and becoming familiar with one another, while daunting, is also a valuable life line these days. i've been quiet a LOT lately, but whenever i manage to encourage a spark of social energy, i use it to talk to people i've written with and befriended from the beginning of my time in the rpc. people are doing that a lot lately, and it's absolutely NOTHING to do with you as a writer or as a human being!! it's just human interaction, and reaching out to break the ice and becoming friends that way is such a good way of maintaining connections.

currently, that's the biggest and primary theory that i have after reading your post. it always feels like you're being ignored, but i promise you, you aren't. our brains are assholes like that. but people reach out to the people and things that they know when things are so uncertain and daunting, like they are right now.

additionally, if this person didn't want to write with you, they'd have blocked you by now. they haven't, and that motion of blocking people is as clear as you can get.

things WILL get better, nonnie. they already ARE getting better! but for now, people have wildly different reactions to the mess and chaos that we call life, and i don't think an army of psychologists and scientists will ever be able to understand why or how that is. people are baffling. we are. and ultimately i have no real answer to your dilemma, only theories and possibilities. but if reaching out to them doesn't work, and if you want to take a break from them for a bit, maybe soft blocking them and refollowing them when things are back to normal (ish!) might help?

anyway, you're not being too demanding. i can promise you, if you were being too demanding, someone would have said something by now! you're here to have fun, and they aren't doing anything wrong, but neither are you. your reaction to their actions is valid, and their actions are valid also. nobody is in the wrong here, there's just so much weird and chaotic stuff happening right now that we're each creating our own sense of "normal", in a time when normal really isn't present.

this got long, ily and i hope this makes sense and helps a tiny bit!

[what-kinda-fuckery]

Hey so, I was one of the star struck falsettos stans that spent the forty dollars for the webinar, and I took notes (like a weirdo). So I decided I would share my funny moments and updates from the cast here!

- Host: Everyone should be keeping their audio off.

Christian: Oh alright!

Host: nO Christian not you

- Christians in Manhattan and his hair is back and he’s wearing a Superman t-shirt.

- Brandon is with his parents in NJ

- Stephanie and Brandon still love each other

- Brandon: Meat should be cooked just right

- Betsy: Stephanie are you in maple wood?

Stephanie: Well thank you for telling everyone where I am (she’s in NJ)

- Stephanie: Are you fucking kidding meee!!!

- Tracie is in LA, she looks like she’s in Costa Rica and I love her dog.

- Anthony’s VOICE IS LOW EVERYONES FREAKING OUT

they’re all talking about Anthony’s clear skin

- Andy Randy is in LA with a fresh haircut his boyfriend did it and he’s watching too much TV

Andrew: I’m watching this is America

Stephanie: SO GOOD

Andrew: SO GOOD

- Everyone’s having hard days

- Christian is acting out tracies dog’s pathetic bark and everyone’s like WHAT are you doing bc it looks like he’s about to throw up

- BETSY IS A WEEK AWAY FROM HAVINGA WHOLE CHILD

Betsy: What else do you do during a pandemic? Have a baby!

Andrew: Can I toss out another baby name? Celery.

Literally everyone: Goodnight Andrew goodbye!

- Christian is living with a girl (?) and playing board games instead of watching television

HE COOKS NOW EVERYONES PROUD OF HIM

Christian: yesterday I made pork filet en croute

Stephanie: I MADE PORK WITH SAGE AND APPLES ON WEDNESDAY

Stephanie: In mean girls they wear pink on wednesdays. In falsettos they make pork.

- I can’t get over Anthony’s voice

Again everyone returning to his literally perfect skin

- Stephanie: When watching four jews in a room in the beginning who’s in China?? I know the answer I just want to hear someone say it.

Andrew, with a thick accent: It was Bryna, in China, with a torn miniscus

- Christian: Did anything interesting make it on to the telecast between me and you? Andrew? Actually I dont remember I need to do my research.

Andrew: There’s been some strange comments about Christian and I- (AT THIS POINT IM WHEEZING)

HE MENTIONED THE TONY BONY

HE SAID IT WASNT A THING

HE DIDNT HAVE ONE

Andrew: No that’s not a thing that happened

Brandon: Andrew i want you to know that it’s okay if it was. It’s a safe space just the seven of us. (Lol)

- Bill Finn would take two steps into the room: “WROONG”

Stephanie: he wanted me to sing the end of I’m breaking down up the octave and I said #notmytrina

Brandon: #NOTMYTRINA

- Tracie what did you do during act 1

Tracie: Betsy and I sat in that dressing room for like an hour and a half

Andrew: You SANG the WHOLE SHOW TRACIE

- Betsy watched parts of the first act to feel like she was there

- Betsy sprained both her ankles at one point during the run and was a trooper anyways

Brandon reenacting Betsy limping during look look look look

Everyone dies laughing

Christians LAUGH makes me SO HAPPY

- Betsys screen is frozen like this: 🤨

Andrew: What if she went into labor??? (This is a common thread throughout the zoom)

- Anthony: I’m getting a lot of glitching so Stephanie is just like “HUH UH UH UH”

- Betsy comes back and everyone is like

YOU GUYS ITS COMING!!!

- They bought Andrew an ice cream for his birthday from the vending machine at rehearsal

- Andrew: The Hawaii crop top

Betsy: I would give anything to have that

- Tracie: it was very hard. Very precise bringing the blocks together

Brandon: Trying to be like oh my god we’re going to a funeral

Andrew: MY DEATH IT WAS MY DEATH

- fan question: What did the blocks weigh?

Stephanie: They were like thick yoga blocks. Not heavy but awkward shaped

Andrew: Significantly heavier when Anthony sat on them

Anthony: I just realized how much I got thrown around

Stephanie: Anthony were you proud of yourself? #proudofyou

Anthony: The one moment I was cringing was father and son

Christian: HERE WE GO *SLAPS TABLE*

Betsy: Anthony’s like BLAH BLAH BLAH blah my line BLAH BLAH BLAH my line BLAH BLAH

Christian: I LEAVE THE PAUSE IF YOU CANT GET IN THATS ON YOU

Anthony: I was blinking in that number like constantly

Christian: THE WHOLE THING LIKE A SALAMANDER

Oh Anthony.

- Andrew: I HAVE A STORY ABOUT CHRISTIAN BORLE. Tech for what more can i say. He was laying on me. We were shirtless in underpants under the blankets.

Christian: SLOWER

Andrew: he leaned over; He sniffed his armpit and said “I hope you like France”

EVERYONE DIES LAUGHING INCLUDING ME

Christian: i haven’t worn deodorant in 10 years true story

- Christian: i seem to remember holding our pillows and blankets pretending like we were partying on fyre island and Andrew said:

Andrew: WHATS YOUR NAME???

Christian: No no it was something like:

WHAT HOUSE ARE YOU STAYING IN??

Andrew: WHAT HOUSE ARE YOU STAYING IN???

Betsy: James lupine I feel like we’re ruining this show

- Andrew: The shenanigans were real but so was the sadness

Stephanie: We’re real and we’re funny what you gonna do

- Andrew talking about how hard the show was to do: Finding some liberty, It’s a hard world to live in all the time. It was a hard time especially for Christian. I would sometimes go home and cry for no reason

Brandon: Building up emotion with nowhere to put it

Betsy: then Lesbians come in and provide all the levity

Stephanie: Although Dr. Charlotte brings in horrible news

Tracie: Everything’s beautiful at what more can i say and I’m like not so fast

- Tracie always had a funny thing to say

- Who broke character the most on stage?

Anthony Stephanie and Christian

Anthony: it was when I said “I don’t want a bar mitzvah” and I spit in your face a lot and you went like *puts arms up* and someone at stage door was like very condescending like it’s not professional

Christian: Oh my bad we’re people sorry

- Stephanie wrote a line in the show “YOU HAVE PAINTINGS OF DICKS”

- James wanted her to cut off her finger during I’m breaking down

And turn around with a bandaged bloody finger

- Betsy’s nose bleeding during something bad is happening

And Tracie was like something BAD IS HAPPENING

Tracie: Christians throwing up right now

Betsy: Bloody Kleenex up the nose THE SHOW MUST GO ON

- Fan question: Stephanie how do you belt with a banana in your mouth

Christian: Practice practice practice

Stephanie: just shove it in your cheek. But Really that wasn’t supposed to happen

Anthony’s nickname in the rehearsal room was little bananas because he had to gather up all the pieces of stuff after Stephanie shoved the table over with her rear. Sometimes he didn’t have enough time to put it somewhere so he would just put the pieces of banana in his mouth and that’s where it came from

That’s why

- Andrew: Stephanie your glasses are very chic

Stephanie: Oh my gosh thank you *shocked*

- Betsy: Bill was like I’d rather DIE than change lyrics for the pbs special

FLaT aS a LaKe

- Cue everyone accidentally talking over each other and saying what at each other for 30 seconds

Christian: what? what? what?

Who is it?

What’s going on?

- If you could play anyone else in the show who would it be

Anthony said Mendel

Tracie said Mendel

Brandon said Trina

Andrew said marvin

Betsy said whizzer

Stephanie said Mendel

And I honestly couldn’t hear if Christian said anything whoops

- Brandon: If someone could at some point explain to me the Mendel eats dirt meme? People have been Asking me if Mendel eats dirt? I don’t think it’s about Trina Trina is not the dirt. I was overwhelmed. Can someone in the Q&A explain this? *A few seconds later* oh It was from a meme generator?

Christian: Greaat.

Brandon: It’s a fan fiction about Mendel eating dirt and getting aroused by it

Everyone: WHAT

- They still get fan art

Someone recreated the whole soundtrack 8bit and also with KAZOOS

- Brandon: CONGRATS CHRISTIAN ON LULOS WIN FOR LITTLE SHOP. If you haven’t seen Christian in little shop it’s revelatory I’m not just blowing smoke up your ass I have not laughed that hard in a while at the theatre

- Christian talking about little shop

Christian has a 12 inch Batman toy in his dressing room and he misses it

- Ticket prices were getting out of control before corona everyones hoping this will make a difference

Brandon and everyone think it should get more accessible

- Brandon: Hear hear I need a refill

- Stephanie: Your hair looks incredible Brandon (it did)

Christian: She’s been waiting to talk about it for 53 minutes

- Andrew: Well Betsy what I’m wondering is have you crowned yet??

Proceed everyone dying

Brandon, taking a picture of the screen: This moment will go down in history as When Betsy was asked if she was crowning

- Everyone mimicking zoom freezing by starting a sentence and freezing halfway through

- Christian: What new Steven sondheim musical are you excited about Anthony *devilish grin*

Anthony having no idea what Christian is talking about

Christian: Come on Anthony you know the answer. Ugh. The minds of the young. You’re smoking pot now aren’t you??

Christian: We have a lot of fun

- Andrew: I’m trying to get people to pay attention to me

- Christians pretending to be frozen

Cue a lot of yelling: Stephanie BRANDON STEPHANIE

NO CHRISTIAN

Everyone accusing each other of being frozen

NO YOURE FROZEN

- Andrew: Let’s all act like we’re frozen

Steph: I see Andrew acting like hes frozen

Betsy: Watching you do that is killing me

- Listening to the cast recording for the first time together

Stephanie: Why was I the a-hole that couldn’t be there???

Christian: That’s a question only you can answer

- Betsys husband came in everyones like BETSY LOOK OUT

Christian: that scared the shit out of me

- What is marvins last name and what was his line of work

Christian: we definitely said it at some point right? (They didnt) but he was in advertising. What was the last name? Gardens? O’Malley?

- Andrew: Betsys gone oh no

Betsy: I’m right here!!!

Andrew: She’s giving birth (again)

Stephanie: Betsy Wolfe is a ceiling

- Brandon: Welcome back Anthony. You’re here now.

Anthony singing merrily we roll along over Betsy trying to tell a story

Christian: STOP SMOKING POT IN YOUR BEDROOM ANTHONY

- Betsy: Steve (Steven Sondheim) comes to the door I call him steve

Into the woods is the reason Betsy is in theatre

- Betsy: Andrew was nervous singing at the tonys for Book of Mormon and he got dry mouth he sang like 😬I BELIEVE and he licked his lips so much during the song.

Brandon: Did you have a boner then too?

Andrew: GUYS DONT BE DICKS

Stephanie: It’ll be like dry mouth, boner

Andrew: BETSY YOU FUCKIN BITCH ITS ACTUALLY NOT THAT BAD

Stephanie: Bets maybe we should wrap it up

- Brandon sings MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

EVERYONE TELLING HIM TO STOP SINGING I took a video it was beautiful might post that later

- “Tracie Thomas from Lent!”

Tracie having stage fright

Tracie: Billy porter said “oh child we all forget the words” and walked away

- Anthony said WHO SHAT THE BED in four jews once

Anthony: That’s my contribution. Steph got her line, I got who shat the bed

- Steph: We lost andrew oh no

Christian: Um, we lost andrew ten minutes ago. Yeah when Brandon started singing

- Then Betsy sang a song by Bill Finn beautiful

- Steph: Wear your masks and eat pork on wednesdays

That was it!! I hope you enjoyed and people who were there if I got anything wrong that’s my human error it was hard to note everything I wanted to. Smooches! Byee

[threadsketchier]

SW meme - 6, 8, 10, 11, 17.

6. what planet would you most like to live on?

Oh gosh, Naboo.  It’s too freaking gorgeous and it’s pretty obvious they’re a world that highly values the arts - I could see people actually being encouraged to pursue artistic/artisan careers there and have the financial support or subsidies to do so.

8. what is one thing you would change about any movie, show, book, etc?

*ugly laugh* only one thing??? 8)

Ok, fine, I’ll pick a random one off the top of my head - I would have much, much rather preferred that ROTS make the cause of Padmé’s death more explicitly attributed to Palpatine’s meddling, and it wouldn’t have required more than a few seconds and a tweak here or there.  Please eliminate that ridiculous assessment from the medical droid, “She’s lost the will to live.”  We were perfectly fine stopping at, “We don’t know/understand what’s going on.”  Include a brief look at Palpatine concentrating over Vader’s assembly while he’s focused on Padmé so that we have a clear implication of him stealing her life force to keep Vader alive.  Bam, a barely 10-second fix.

Also, who the hell thought it was a good idea to induce labor in a dying woman instead of doing a space C-section and getting her on life support or something BUT I’M NOT THE OB-GYN KENOBI OVER HERE I GUESS

10. do you think the jedi were right or wrong?

Because I do appreciate the prequels taking a nuanced examination of the heroes of the Old Republic.  They were heroes and they were well-intentioned, and they were tragic pawns of Palpatine’s manipulations, but they were also out of touch with what had made them the “guardians of peace and justice.”  They did not deserve genocide, but they definitely needed a wake-up call on multiple levels.

11. who is the most underrated character?

After consulting with my peeps, I think I have to say C-3PO.  He’s the comic relief and anxiety on two metal legs, but he’s also a real bro, and he doesn’t get the appreciation and respect he deserves for putting up with all the Skywalker bullshit that he goes through.  He was one of the only three witnesses to Anakin and Padmé’s wedding besides R2 and the officiant and that says a lot.  I know people say it narrows the universe too much to have all these characters conveniently linked to one another, but who gives a shit?  It’s a space fairy tale.  I don’t mind that kind of contrivance, especially when Lucas back in the day intended for the droids to be the only characters who went through the entire saga, however many parts he wanted it to be.  It’s a genuine tragedy that Anakin salvaged this droid from a junkyard and gave him a second chance at life, and that life was filled with all kinds of crazy adventures and family memories...and then it was all taken away from him.  He had his autonomy violated and Luke and Leia were denied all those experiences that R2 wasn’t around for.  But serendipity or fate or the Force or whatever kept him in the family circle and he got another round of Skywalker drama to keep him on his toes, lol.

For all his bitching and hyperbole, you can count on him when the chips are down, and he does have great affection for his brobot and his organics.

17. what is your favorite line?

“I am a Jedi, like my father before me.”

Because it’s not only the climax of the entire *cough* six-part saga, it’s not only a personal triumph for Luke and an exquisite fuck you to Palpatine, but it signifies the birth of something new.  The Jedi are not only returning, but they will not be the same; they have ascended to a higher level, something that will refresh the tenets of old with a reinvigorated focus and acknowledgement.

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP Meme from "Rock & Rule" Part Two of Two

You know, love's not what you think

Love is anything you make it

How can I let you feel my love, feel me, and still feel free?

I may not have the answers now. So what?

They keep this place locked up tighter than a hummingbird's tweet.

By the way doll, who're you?

They just don't understand us new women.

After all, every now and then a girl's gotta get out and dance, catch my drift?

I do it every Saturday night! Let's go!

With your funk and my spunk, we don't need much time to find some real hot action!

We're on our way to the Twilight Zone!

My beast; their nightmare.

Magic? Magic, shmagic!

You bumming out on me?

Let's get out of here before we get caught.

No one can send it back.

Raising a real demon could be real bad for your image.

The liability costs would be enormous.

Wars have been started for less!

When I want your opinions I'll give them to you.

We're in the clear.

Oh yeah, the ladies will love this.

You never told us we were concerned.

Aw, are you gonna tuck us in, too?

I was just beginning to like ya, ya little scumbag.

I know she hangs around an uptown club.

You got to listen to my side of the story now.

It was not my fault that night at all those cops were supposed to be on the take; I am on the level!

Now we're even, fink.

Now we're even, right?

Follow them, yes, but don't interfere.

Oh boy! Mutants in the foyer of the club! Isn't it neat-o!

Eww, watch your step!

You let mutants in and it spoils everything, know what I mean honey? They just don't know how to dress.

I got uppers and downers, inners and outers, screamers and shouters, and things that make you go sideways

I know that I see you, and I'm hoping that you feel the same.

Come on and dance

I don't even have to know your name

Hey, come on, there's a booth over there.

Anyhow, he's kinda cute, but this guy had just gone too far so I told him he was a real waldo and I broke his fingers.

This is no time to be lying around!

This could be trouble.

Just keep an eye on them.

Sit tight honey, check this out, they're playing my song!

Whatcha looking for? The girl of your dreams?

Please deposit another dime, your three minutes is uuuuuuuuuup!

Get off the street!

What a pleasant, and unexpected surprise.

Perhaps we should invite him on up for a spell?

There there, come to daddy.

I've got everything I need.

I want everything too

It takes time

Okay, it's showtime.

Look, forget it. I won't sing.

I offer you fame, riches, and a crack at the top, you refuse.

I'm very disappointed.

What are you doing to them? Stop! Stop!

Our word is good enough for me.

You could have killed them. You, you're totally crazy!

Shall we see them off?

How are you boys doing?

I promise, I'll get you outta this.

You're working with the best now.

Survivors described the destruction as "evil," "spooky," and "wow, bad karma, man."

And it smelled just like cleaning fluid, and all it made me do was wanna, like, wax the floor, so like, can you tell me, like, is this concert for real, or is it just another rip off?

I need more power?

I will raise this demon, I will not fail again. Its power will be mine.

I know you love the thing I've got.

You've never seen the likes of me

You think he's acting but he is not

I'm the match, and I'm the pyre

I'm the power seldom used a lot

I'm the big bad thing that makes you shake.

You will worship me, of course

I'm the oracle

I'm the conduit

There is no question that I am it!

He looks so cool, but he's hot

Can you tell the difference between good and evil?

Gosh, we're here.

Hey boss, boss, wake up!

There is no longer black or white, good or evil. We've evolved beyond that.

We all must have our own personal view of right and wrong.

Is what we are doing evil?

'Evil' spelled backwards is 'live.' And we all want to do that.

So until next week, boys and girls, goodbye, and be good!

Destiny has revealed itself.

Take me with you wherever you go.

We can cancel. Nothing else matters. Just us.

Let's go away together.

Fiji? Disneyland? Fantasy Island?

You're a very clever girl.

I've enjoyed your little game but tonight the game is mine.

I like you, and I like this town

You guys just blew the whole show!

Your hometown puts a smile on my face

More! Boost the power, now!

Whoa, that's enough. Too much!

I just had this crazy dream where you were a real nice guy.

Get serious.

Ooo! My head feels like an eggplant!

We've got to rescue her.

I've had it with the hero business.

It's true. I saw them together. I've had it.

Everybody! Freeze!

Oh no! We'll never make it!

Aw, shit.

Whatever it is, it's evil.

DESTROY THEM ALL!

We ain't evil, are we?

It's our one desire

This song sends love through

Look! Something's happening! It's going back!

No! No No! They can't stop you!

Don't go! Please don't go!

You can't do this to me!

How about that show!

You get the greatest show ever!

Let's hear it for these kids, and hope that this never happens again!

[wheel-of-fish]

By the Numbers: Ben Crawford, Ali Ewoldt, Jay Armstrong Johnson

By the Numbers:  The Ben Crawford/Ali Ewoldt/Jay Armstrong Johnson  Stream, August 22, 2020

[long-awaited submission from Aldebaran; I’m putting it behind a cut]

Oh my gosh, an epic stream deserves an epically long and epically late By the Numbers!  Come with me back in time, all the way back to two weeks ago, which in pandemic days is a month and a half.  Before we were treated to  Giant Ivan and Tiny Tamara in Moscow, there was The Swagger, The Disney Princess and The Bot…

This was a fantastically fun boot to watch as part of a group of enthusiastic Saturday Streamers!  Plusses included an earlier-in-his-run Ben “The Swagger” Crawford as the Phantom, with the spotlight on his booming baritone voice, and Ali “Paris’s Sweetheart” Ewoldt as an enchanting Christine.  And—Jay Armstrong Johnson (we’re pretty sure) as Raoul.  Or some semblance of Raoul.  Something was up with Raoul in this performance and the consensus was there may have been robotics involved. I won’t say more here; the streamers have it covered below and a fantastic set of memes by Onthevirg/faunaproductions caught tons more great moments.   Very very nice filming job by a master who clearly knew the show well and anticipated major moments and character moves in a smooth manner.  Not a bot though.  As far as we know.  And featuring an AIAOY– let’s just say that has to be seen to be believed.    

Some stats on the stats:  An asterisk * indicates a recurring category.  All numbers are accurate except where they are not.  I was tempted last week to resort to making crap up for this recap, but resisted the temptation.  I will occasionally add in a missing letter or two.  If a person’s train of thought is split up, I will ignore intervening commentary and put that thought back on track.  Occasionally, by design or by mischance, a comment or two will be moved slightly out of original chronological order.  Or wildly out of chronological order to cater to a theme.  Or a whim.  Only when it’s funny.  There is also no clean way to say the word “organ” which pops up a lot in this stream. (See what I mean?  It can’t be done.)

*Suggested names for this boot: The Animatronic Boot, The Better Than Cooper Boot, The It’s Alive! Boot, Robot Roll Call Boot (Okay, nobody suggested these.  It was me.  I suggested these)

*Statistician’s Favorite Boot Name:  mechanical hands down, The RaoulBot Boot

*Wow, we like to talk about Phantoms:  It has become clear to me that we like to talk about everybody.  And everything.  Phantoms, Christines, Raouls, Mandalorians.  Here are most of the people mentioned in the stream.  There is no context.  Just like a real stream!!!

John Riddle (9), Gina Beck (8), Ramin (6), Rob Houchen (2), Ethan (1), Eiji (1), Uwe (3), Jordan Craig (2), Sierra (1), Steve Barton (3), David Shannon (2), Norm (14), Earl (1), Cooper (2), Darua (4), Thiago (11), Rachel Barrell (1), Meghan Picerno (2), Cherik (19), Pedro Pascal (1), B*rbour (7), Eva Tavares (4), Ted Keegan (5), Maree Johnson (2), Quentin Oliver Lee (1), Jeremy Hays (1), Ben Jacoby (3), Andrew Keenan Bolger (1), Greg Mills (1), Michael Maliakel (1),  KKA (8),  Jordan Donica (1), Kyle Barisch (8), Andrew Ragone (3), Paul Stanley/Stankey (3), Hannah Gadsby (2)

Residual Stolle Thirst:  Residual Stolle Thirst from the stream a week prior to this one, plus Mr. Stolle’s appearance as Passarino AND the Conductor in this boot resulted in >32 mentions.  There may or may not have been comparisons between his Raoul and this boot’s Raoul.  I certainly wouldn’t put it past us.

Epithets for Ben Crawford:  Ubiquitous mentions of Crawdaddy and The Swagger.  More personalized and clearly personal epithets:  Big Ben—ktarinajones, BENBENBENBEN—whereisthepersian, OH HELLO VOICE—butdreamsofbeauty, my horny bastard and I love him—ktarinajones

Epithets:  reader’s choice as to which Phantom(s) the following apply to (no one in this stream):                                                        Fuckface McGee–therosenpants                                                      Sir Scruffsalot—snows                                                                    Voldemort—Benny-Lynne                                                                  Traschcan–therosentpants

Antici_____pation:

I can’t wait for jay                                                                                I honestly thought they’d slapped a human face on a robot and called it a day—angedelamusique

Let’s all just have fun trying to spy hints of actual emotion in Jay’s Raoul—GlassPrism

Oh there will be memes.  Ben Crawford is a walking meme and there will be a robot on stage—ktarinajones

Oh boy, here we go—GlassPrism

We love a trainwreck:

I love this stream crowd because you all show up for trainwrecks just as enthusiastically as you do for good actors—wheel-of–fish

We love a trainwreck!—butdreamsofbeauty

we’re ready—angelofthelake

trainwrecks are v satisfying—christinegrrl

We’re here with roses, we’re here with rotten fruit, we’re versatile!  A good tirefire is a marshmallow roast–snows

Debut of RaoulBot:  Before the show even began, JAJ’s Raoul had a name:                                                                                       

RaoulBot—ktarinajones at 20:01:33 (historic occasions get timestamps!)                                                                                     

wait they can’t moisten the raoul if he’s a robot, can they?—butdreamsofbeauty

they can oil him—ktarinajones

oil the raoul, perfect—butdreamsofbeauty

He has a silicone exterior—Benny-Lynne

wd-40—wheel-of-fish

How do we know he is waterproof?  Let’s see if he sparks when he hits the Raoul Hole—Aldebaran

Earliest Meme Generation:  Our intrepid memester Virg had material for a meme within 8 minutes 27 seconds of the start of the stream.

Love is in the Air:  There was a lot of love in this stream

Ali Love:  >32

Laird Love:  28

Carlotta Love:  20

Filmer Love: 5

Extreme John Riddle love: 2

when there’s video of John Riddle the filmer can have a kidney if they want—ktarinajones, seconded by christinegrrl

And then there was Jay:

Oh he did a head nod.  Well done.—Bozzleboz

At least Jay doesn’t shoot a policeman—PureAnon

Several head turns in succession there.  Getting ambitious.–Bozzleboz

Illumination!:  Auction Raoul set the tone for the evening to come, and the chandelier seized the moment to shine.

OMG, his jaw moves just like a real person….or a nutcracker—Aldebaran

His batteries are running down.  Maybe they will wire him for the new electricity.—Aldebaran

Robot Raoul is using all the electricity—Aldebaran

That chandelier isn’t rising—Ladyrock18

It’s not rising because they have to unhook the cables that power Raoulbot—DocTy

The chandelier shows more emotions than Jay as Raoul—Maze-zen

Erik made a Raouldoll to add to his collection?—Benny-Lynne

The chandelier shows the full range of human emotions.  That is why it was cast.—haunted-hideaway

The chandelier is more expressive than this Raoul—Carole

The chandelier can actually sing in morse code—DocTy

Meanwhile backstage Raoulbot is recharging in his alcove—Aldebaran

If you listen closely you can hear diesel generators in the background recharging the batteries—DocTy

C’mon guys, he’s solar powered—ktarinajones

is that why he stops working in the dark during AIAOY–christinegrrl

Statistician Aldebaran wonders if she will be able to handle viewing Cherik:

Oh I finally finished the 90’s miniseries!  I have thoughts!—Abberina

Abberina do you have thoughts other than “I hurt, I am in pain”?—snows

@snows the ending was WILD—Abberina

Abberina, I spent the whole day lying and crying after the 90s miniseries, are you allright?—Carole

“Wild”??? How are you still living!  That ending!  Gghh!—snows

Do you need something?  A glass of water?  Therapy?—Carole

My heart hasn’t recovered yet.  And I watched it 4 years ago.–Carole

Christine Who?:  One would think that Christine’s debut in Hannibal would have the streamers’ full attention.  But no.  All eyes were on Raoul in his box.  Or maybe just unpacked from the box he came in.

can it be? can it be a robot?—christinegrrl

can it be chreeeestineeee—butdreamsofbeauty

engage clapping program—Aldebaran

clap beep boop clap clap—angelofthelake

beep boop clapping action beep boop—Jadowdra

EXECUTE EMOTION—missbuster

Stache or cache?:  Once we were beginning to get an idea of the limits of Raoulbot’s programming, we turned our attention to his most character defining feature—the mustache.

omg mustache—MelancholysChild

His mustache is a little full for me.  Oh well.  I guess that’s where he hides his secrets.—haunted-hideaway

wowWWWW—put that boy in a floofy shirt and stick him in the pirates of the caribbean ride at disney, damn—snows

it’s where he hides his processer—therosenpants

haunted he needs something to cry into—ashadeintheshade

That is not a mustache, that is fiber optics—Aldebaran

although he is stiffer than the other robotic pirates—snows

Haunted, his secret is his charger entrance—Carole

You keep your secrets then, Raoul—haunted-hideaway

Autocorrect Follies:

Pinging = Piangi–Bozzleboz

Paul Stankey = Paul Stanley—IamErik771

Ironic Statement is Ironic:

I always forget there’s an elephant–yiks

Cooper finds a role:

[as Buquet appears] oh hey look it’s cooper!—snows                                                                                                                                    finally a role for cooper, buquet all the way—Aldebaran                                                                                                                                ohh wait sorry it’s the other scruffy creepy nasty weirdo—snows

*Best from Onthevirg’s Mom:  “like stolles passarino cooper should always be buquet—it’s a fitting role”

Joseph Buquet job  performance review:

DO YOUR FREAKING JOB BUQUET.  –madamefaust                                                                                                                                I’ll never get over that line “i promise i wasn’t doing my job!!!!!”—butdreamsofbeauty

The Boy Ain’t Right:  Little Lotte made it very apparent that Raoul may have been compromised.

Don’t make fun of him, you guys.  The tiny alien in his head driving his body is doing his best, ok?—haunted-hideaway

li tt le l ott e—tearoses

So….Erik’s looking like an awesome choice right about now…–HerbalPath

Usually i’m r/c  but uh not today—yiks

His hat is just an excuse he’s going to recharge a bit—Carole

That was almost threatening how he said little lotte—Ladyrock18

*Vintage MadameFaust:                                                                   Don’t quote me too much, my knowledge is based on judicious use of Wikipedia;-)

[inspired by Raoul’s Little Lotte performance]                                    CHOCOLATES 

HUMANS LOVE CHOCOLATES                                                                                                                                                                    *Biggest Organ in Paris:  The mirror scene included a thunderous organ accompaniment.  It took me ten minutes to write a non-filthy sentence that conveyed that information while containing the word “organ.”  The Saturday Streamers were fired up!  Except for a certain statistician–

WOAH—therosenpants                                                                    THAT ORGAN—PureAnon                                                                ORGAN—haunted-hideaway                                                              Wow—DocTy                                                                                      ORGAN!—butdreamsofbeauty                                                          did you hear that??????—therosenpants                                          organ—DocTy                                                                                    Orrgannnnn—Xyloghost                                                                    that roused me from Lore Olympus—therosenpants                          ORGAN!—Jawodra                                                                          What’s with the loud organ?—maze-zen                                            organ AWESOME—snows                                                                THE ORGAN WAS PERFECT—whereisthepersian                          I loved it!—MelancholysChild                                                            Is that new? that’s BADASS–snows                                                  Organ <3—Carole                                                                          The organ is loud because Ben is loud—PureAnon                          Erik is playing his pocket organ–Abberina                                        It’s the phantom of the phantom of the opera—wheel-of-fish

Oh God now I have to count Organ mentions (>20) and everyone is going to judge me—Aldebaran

*What scent are the Phantom’s candles:  Previously established in the official “Love That Lair” candle line, in addition to  Vanilla Brown Sugar, Cucumber Melon, Tobacco Spice, Underground Despair, and Hopeless Mist, the newest entry unveiled for this stream was Sepulchral Solitude, a light and airy blend of ennui, nihilism and condensation, perfect for occasional bouts of midnight composing.

*The Phantom’s pillows mentions:  2

obligatory pillow mentions, they are a nice colour scheme–missbuster

Baritone Love Fest:

we! love! a baritone! phantom!—butdreamsofbeauty

Baritones are the best!–PureAnon

Yes!—JacobZ

Yes to baritones.  To whatever they ask.—Aldebaran

baritones are incredible—angelofthelake

I like em big and boomy—Bozzleboz

yes they are—MelancholysChild

The deeper and boomier, the better—PureAnon

*Erik has Skillz:

Okay so Ben just flipped through about six alternate personalities in a single line, and that’s impressive—snows

his voice is like chocolate sauce—Benny-Lynne

His voice is so deep I wanna scuba dive in it—Benny-Lynne

The Swagger at Rest:

Sir must you spread your legs so—snows

snows yes he MUST—ashadeintheshade

nice stance—MelancholysChild

Oo.  Manspreading—Bozzleboz

but like… the good kind–snows                                                       

Sweet Music’s Throne:  Ben’s nascent aggression came out in his organ playing.  The INSTRUMENT!

OMG HIS KNEES This is really funny to me—madamefaust

He is def using his knees a lot—christinegrrl

Oh he’s….trying to play the keyboard—missbuster

He’s putting his back into that organ playing, there—haunted-hideaway

he’s definitely a more aggressive phantom I think—wheel-of-fish

A good squat workout I guess?—christinegrrl

Lift with your knees man—haunted-hideaway

The key to being an organist is all in the lumbar–Jacobz

Ben’s stance remains a source of….let’s call it concern.  Yes, concern:

He’s got good stance—ashadeintheshade

why are his legs SO far apart though—butdreamsofbeauty

because they’re so loooong—missbuster

power stance—MelancholysChild

is he riding an invisible horse?—jadowdra

And, inevitably, boner mentions: 5 (You know who you are.  Good thing, because I was watching Ben.)

The Phantom is pleased to announce:   boner mentions are ummm holding firm

Christine makes questionable choices:

oh she looked down—christinegrrl

she totally looked down and then bolted but let’s be real WHY RUN—snows

Boner-adjacent vocabulary:

Horny and variants (>17)

Lusty (2)

Organ—THE INSTRUMENT!!  (>20)

Christine does not stan a crafty Phantom:

he’s doing so well then he has to bring Barbara into it—Virg’s mom

SEE?  I MADE THIS FOR YOU?

OOPS

THAT DID NOT GO TO PLAN—haunted-hideaway

Strange Ships:  The debut of a long overdue category highlighting all the really random ships that are proposed during a given stream.

Erik/RaoulBot—haunted-hideaway

Andre/Carlotta–????

Barbara/severed Hannibal head—????

Christine/Luigi—ashadeintheshade

Barbara/new and improved sexbot from LND—Onthevirg

RaoulBot/Barbara—DocTy {streamers were split here that Barbara shouldn’t settle versus OTP}

Yes, I know, it’s a great disservice to Barbara but still, maybe they can bond over replacement parts—DocTy

Only in this streams I walk away with either a new favourite actor, a fanfic recommendation and/or a new pairing to ship—Jadowdra

*Education of the Innocent:  Several seminars were held this stream.  First,  a wide ranging and frank discussion of historically accurate ballet rats, pimping and ummm social diseases.  We segued from a dissertation on our own Madame Giry as a probable pimp to the topic of the hierarchy of French Royalty.  These topics heavily featured our resident history buffs therosenpants, angedelamusique, PureAnon and madamefaust, with varying degrees of participation in the pimping and social disease discussions.  Second, a discourse on “the catch” and variations, the catch being allowed in London and not on Broadway due to union rules.  A variant unknown to me, the “half catch” was mentioned.  Third, a sadly eye-opening (for some) discussion of the “horsey dance”:

Look, Norm was directed to do the horsey dance.  Anything is possible on Broadway.—madamefaust

sorry a HORSEY DANCE—butdreamsofbeauty

HORSEY DANCE???—onthevirg

horsey dance…??—angelofthelake

ah yes the ever classic jumping up and galloping horsey dance—madamefaust

It was more of a forceful trot during ‘Order your fine horses’ in Final Lair—madamefaust

faust you can’t just drop that in chat and not explain yikes—butdreamsofbeauty

someone link the gif—andgedelamusique

[fatefully the gif was linked]

thanks, I hate it!—butdreamsofbeauty

OH I thought that was a JOKE, that was REAL?—ashadeintheshade

oh noooo I saw that in like a compilation of funny phantoms and i thought it was a joke oh no—ashadeintheshade

The Horsey Dance claims more victims–Aldebaran

STYDI Sound effects:

[the Phantom collapses]

plorp—wheel-of-fish

plorp—MelancholysChild

Now I want to hear his palms squeak on the ground—madamefaust

I’m Jewish and I don’t approve of this level of ham Curse youuuuu—JacobZ

Prior to Il Muto the organ makes another appearance.  The INSTRUMENT!!!:

Organ boop!—Bozzleboz

Organ again.  Oh God now I said it.—Aldebaran

Aldebaran, you can’t escape the organ.  The Phantom’s organ WILL find you.—PureAnon

this Erik is so extra he took the organist’s place in the orchestra—DocTy

Il Muto Pillow Mentions:  1

Fascinating discussion about which is worse/better, bad actors or boring actors:

It’s the old argument between what’s worse bad or boring—GlassPrism

is it better to burn out or fade away—wheel-of-fish

Is it more fun to watch an Uwe or a Thiago—GlassPrism

Thiago activates my RAGE setting.—madamefaust

AIAOY is never make me watch this again:  Words cannot capture AIAOY.  Nevertheless we tried. Here are selected comments.

EXECUTEEMPATHY2.0—missbuster

Maybe there is a rat driving him by his mustache like in Ratatouille.  Raoultatouille.—missbuster

turn.her.90.degrees—Aldebaran

if she shakes him, I bet we can hear him rattle—DocTy

Raoul.exe has stopped working—christinegrrl

he bluescreened—butdreamsofbeauty

error 404—angelofthelake

can you even play Doom on this Raoul?—Jadowdra

Does he even like her?—madamefaust

He’s just staring into the abyss—angelofthelake

Why did no one tell him that wooing does not involve low-level dread—JacobZ

<10> no more talk of darkness GOTO20—snows

<20> forget these wide eyed fears GOTO30—snows

his wooing program has bugs–Aldebaran

YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN MY ARCH-ENEMY THIAGO–madamefaust

are they actually kissing?—madamefaust

now you must place your face upon her face and remain still—butdreamsofbeauty

this is depressing—virg’s lil sister

It’s more fun to suffer as a group—wheel-of-fish

Prevailing Theory:

The Phantom clearly switched Raoul with a mannequin—Maze-zen

Fondly Remembering Christian Lund during this AIAOY:  4

Fondly Remembering  “the Boop” during this AIAOY: 5

*Requests for AIAOY Kiss replay:  0

Priorities Straight:  Host Fish caller for dog pictures on her blog during the stream, resulting in the following mentions

Dogs (35, may need to be adjusted as one of Flora’s dogs is large enough to count as two), Goats (6), Cats (9), Rabbits (5), Chickens (3) Regular non-Cherik deer (1) Pig (1) Cherik deer (9)            actual human children (1)

The Masquerade, or as some wags had it due to the mannequins on the staircase, the de Chagny family reunion:

Let’s see the robot try to dance—katarinajones

dance.exe—whereisthepersian

dance.exe failed to start—phantomofthebasement

He is going as a robot to the masquerade–Aldebaran

People gonna trip over his charging cable—whereisthepersian

Relief is the wrong emotion to feel when the Red Death arrives:

Why at a costume party is everyone afraid of a costumed man?  How do they know to be scared?  Do they hear the background music?—JacobZ

It’s his authoritative stance—madamefaust

Christine’s reaction maybe?—ktarinajones

I think they’re afraid he’s going to drop another chandelier on them.  Which, valid.—madamefaust

They saw the bead work.  They know who it is.—haunted-hideaway

*Sad comment is sad:  commenting on the ornate bow on the score for Don Juan Triumphant

He wraps it up like the present he never received.—haunted-hideaway

*Fathering Gaze lyric: 1

*That staff tho:    

“I’m going to a graveyard.  I should take my shooty stick with the skull on it!”—haunted-hideaway

We passed the Point of No Return long ago.  From the auction, in fact:

his accent, lol–ashadeintheshade 

Accent—Bozzleboz

itsa me…—Aldebaran

ITSA HIM—madamefaust

I hate you all—wheel-of-fish

And Ben plays videogames backstage.  His inspiration is literally Super Mario.—madamefaust

That was some nice cup stroking—GlassPrism                   

The Raoul Hole holds no dangers for Raoulbot:

Oh no he’s going to rust and shut down in the lake—wheel-of-fish

They spray him down and moisten him before he jumps in, otherwise he’ll just float on top—haunted-hideaway

Raoul’s wifi is down once more:

Is the boat stuck?  Oh, there it goes—madamefaust

The radio signals running Raoul confused the boat—Aldebaran

The organ makes a return in Down Once More:  The INSTRUMENT!!!!:  2

Veil Fluff Mentions: 2

he didn’t fluff the veil—ashadeintheshade

I like the veil fluff–ashadeintheshade

Veil Yeet Mentions: 11

The Kiss.  An actual human kiss, unlike AIAOY:

ohhh he bends into the kiss—Aldebaran

Aw he’s TRYING to figure out how to kiss—Flora-Gray

He done touched a lady.—haunted-hideaway

That was a good kiss—Abberina

Bozzleboz breaks me, as the Phantom approaches hanging Raoul with a candle:

I burn him now, yes?–Bozzleboz

The Phantom breaks us:

oh god.  He just broke me.—Bozzleboz

ohhhh poor angel—Aldebaran

aw erik :(–angeloflake

he’s so resigned:(–Benny-Lynne

we love an exhausted depressed sewer man—butdreamsofbeauty

This Phantom survives just so he can go disassemble Raoul—Aldebaran

Looks Like We Made It:

Time to go plug Raoulbot in for the night—angelofthelake

Performance Comparisons for Raoul/Career Suggestions for Raoul, You Decide:

Nutcracker—Aldebaran

Mannequin Bride—coroaline

Tin Man—christinegrrl, yiks

Edward Scissorhands—GlassPrism

Calculon from Futurama—IamErik771

C3PO—wheel-of-fish

Automaton—ktarinajones

Dalek–missbuster

Cardboard Cutout—haunted-hideaway

Hat Stand–Bozzleboz

*Things I wish I had said:            

Christine in Final Lair:  She has to go put Raoul in a bag of rice but she’ll be back—Benny-Lynne

*Statistician Aldebaran’s two favorite personal quotes:  

little known fact, the red scarf is actually a fanbelt from Raoulbot

19 years on the score, 1 year on the bow

Phew!  See you shortly with the By the Numbers of Moscow from LAST week!!!  Aldebaran

[lovecre]

this is a disaster lol

hi this is a double date fic feat. @honeycombscereal and their f/os… umm yeah

    “hey, how do you feel about double dates?” eden asked suddenly. 

 angel blinked in surprise. “where did this come from?” 

“well, it’s just…” eden sighed. “volks, cole, and poe really need to be more social. except for maybe volks, they’re been isolating themselves lately, and i’d like for them to meet nimh and stirling. maybe they’d get along?” 

angel hummed thoughtfully. “i’ll bring up the topic to them. i mean,” they continued, “it sounds like a good idea! we’ll see how it goes.” 

eden tapped his hands on the table the two were sitting at. they both had to take a break from their respective partners, and decided to meet up at a small bakery to chat. 

“actually, i’ll call up nimh now!” angel decided, dialing her timid lover’s number on their phone. 

“and i’ll text… cole, maybe?” eden pursed his lips. “yeah, cole.” turning his attention to his phone, he began to type. 

me: hey cole!! i have a question for u :O 

cole (🖤): Oh? Ask away. I’m curious now. 

me: sure!! umm how do you feel about double dates >_< 

cole (🖤): Double dates? I’m not too familiar with them, but they sound nice enough. 

cole(🖤): Why do you ask? Although, I do have a sneaking suspicion. 

me: yeap!! angel and i were like omg what if we did double dates… so i wanted to ask everyone starting with you!! <3 

cole(🖤): I’d say I’d be fine with it… As for the others, however I’m not so sure. 

cole(🖤): Perhaps it would be best if you took only I along instead. The others would simply be a hindrance…

me: yeah nice try. since ur there can u ask the others for me?? <3 and NO LYING ok <3 i WILL know 

cole(🖤): Alright, alright. I’ll ask them. 

meanwhile… 

“hey, nimh, what do you think of double dates?” angel asked over the phone.

“uhh… oh, gosh, this is sudden…” nimh stammered. “they- they’re alright? i mean, i wouldn’t mind going on one, if it was with you…” 

“is that a…yes?” 

“um! yes, that’s a yes… yes.” 

angel stifled a laugh at nimh’s unintentional antics. “okay, could you as stirling the same question?” 

“s-stirling?” nimh squeaked fearfully. angel could practically see him trembling. “er, uh… y-yes! i can… ask him!” his voice was unnaturally high-pitched. “right. i’ll just… go ask… the scary vampire man… i mean! i’ll go ask. stirling. right now. yes.” 

“…you don’t have to—“ angel started gently.

“no! no no no, i’ll do it!” nimh responded. 

“… alright, if you say so.” 

“so, how’d the convo go?” eden asked. 

“could have gone better, but i’d say it was a resounding ‘yes.’ what about you?” angel replied. 

“same here, although volks said he didn’t want to go. something about not wanting anyone else to see his ‘feral eating habits.’” eden squinted. “which is weird, because he usually doesn’t care about that. at least, not around me.… actually, now that i think about it, he does still have some ‘wolfish’ tendencies.” 

“…yeah, i wouldn’t want anyone to see that either.” angel laughed. 

a few days later, the group had decided to go to a fairly cheap restaurant, because god knows how much everyone would eat all together.

eden was waiting at one of the larger tables with cole and poe, when he spotted angel entering with her partners. 

“hey, angel! over here!” eden waved both his arms in the air. the trio made their way over to the table, sitting down. 

“hi! i’d like you all to meet eden,” angel turned to nimh and stirling. “he’s my friend, and the one that came up with this idea.” 

“um, hello!” eden waved awkwardly. “it’s… nice to meet you!” 

“uh, hi! it’s nice to meet you, too…!” nimh responded in a similarly awkward fashion. 

“a pleasure to meet you.” stirling nodded at eden, a bit distracted by all the people bustling around in the restaurant. 

eden, in turn, faced his boyfriends and gestured to angel. “and this is angel! they’re my friend, and these are her partners.” 

“uh, hey. i’m poe.” poe waved halfheartedly. 

“and i’m cole.” cole greeted shortly. 

“hello!” angel smiled at the two. “so, what kind of restaurant is this? like, what kind of food do they serve?” 

eden paused. in all the excitement of going on a double date (and getting to meet a REAL LIFE VAMPIRE), he had forgotten to check what kind of food the restaurant served. he internally prayed it wasn’t a vegan restaurant. both he and cole would have problems with that, and a hungry cole is a cole no one wants to meet. 

“i… uh.” he stalled. 

“how about we take a look at the menu?” cole quickly jumped in. “you know, it’s a bit strange that a waiter hasn’t come up to us yet.” 

as if on cue, a pink-haired girl popped up from seemingly nowhere. she smiled brightly at the group, and pulled out a notepad. 

“hey, i’m wendy, and i’ll be your server for today! now, does anyone want any drinks?” 

everyone proceeded to order their respective drinks, (except for stirling, who pulled out a suspicious bottle of red liquid, which he assured everyone was “definitely just fruit juice”— no one believed him.) 

angel got lemonade, poe and eden got soda, while nimh and cole just ordered water. 

cole was gripping eden’s hand tightly underneath the table, making it difficult for him to handle his drink carefully— it was a heavy glass, and he didn’t exactly have much muscle, okay? 

“cole. i need both hands.” eden muttered to the taller man. cole hesitated, and reluctantly let go. 

poe was listening to music on his phone—presumably something edgy—while scrolling through social media. eden elbowed him gently. 

“poe, manners!” he whispered fiercely. 

“hey, i didn’t ask to be here. i only came because you wanted me to.” he mumbled back. 

meanwhile, nimh was practically hyperventilating— there were so many intimidating people… cole kept shooting glares at him, poe had so many piercings and tattoos… not to mention STIRLING. nimh was still scared stiff of that man, and he practically has to see him every day now that they both were dating angel. angel was having to constantly pat him on the back to reassure him that she was there. 

cole and stirling kept being passive aggressive to each other, which definitely was not helping the vibe. 

“so…  you’re a mystery solver? my, that must be… quite the profession.” stirling sipped his ‘fruit juice’. 

“yes, quite. and… what’s your job, again? oh, right, figure skating.” cole replied. “i can’t imagine how… brave that must be, to wear such costumes, and showing off for everyone. oh, i mean, performing.” he finished coldly. 

stirling gritted his teeth. “goodness, thank you so much for the… compliments. you know, for someone so… plain-looking, you certainly are bold.” 

eden cleared his throat loudly. “AHEM! so, what’s everyone ordering?” 

“mashed potatoes,” poe said, not paying attention at all. 

“…wait, what? that’s it? just mashed potatoes?” eden stared at poe.

poe shrugged. “all i need.” 

“…alright… uh, what about you, nimh?” 

“h-huh?!” nimh practically jumped in his seat. “oh! um! yes! food! i’m getting… uh, o-oatmeal…?” 

“…oatmeal.” eden echoed, deadpan. 

“…uh. yes.” nimh wished the earth would swallow him up right then and there. he was stuck with eating oatmeal for lunch. did they even serve oatmeal?

“i’m having a burger, if you’re curious, eden.” cole butted in. “i’ll gladly share with you as well, my dear.” 

“ah, no thanks, i’ll stick with tomato soup.” he politely declined, causing cole to frown. 

“personally, i see eating things such as burgers so… how do i say? atrocious?” stirling sniffed. “all i need is my bl— uh, fruit juice.” 

“…anyway, i’ll probably have a sandwich, or something.” angel said, shooting stirling a warning glance. “who knows, i might have to smack someone with it if they keep being rude.” 

once the food arrived (thankfully for nimh, they did indeed serve oatmeal) the tense atmosphere had died down somewhat. stirling was managing to ignore cole’s backward insults, and instead focused on casually chatting with angel and eden. 

“so, you say you draw? do you ever draw, say… horror? perhaps surrealism?” stirling asked eden. 

“oh! um, not… not really…?” eden wasn’t quite sure how to explain that he mostly drew fanart. “i draw… people. and cute things.” 

stirling nodded. “i see… ah well, it cannot be helped.” 

“stirling. be nice.” angel muttered. 

nimh glanced over at poe’s screen, only to see a strange surreal meme. something about “stonks”. he decided to no longer look at poe’s screen and stick to sadly eating his plain oatmeal. angel noticed this, of course, and mentally noted to buy him some cookies afterwards. maybe a carrot or two. 

overall, the experience was… unique. maybe eden would bring volks next time, or maybe nimh wouldn’t be so paralyzed. maybe the restaurant wouldn’t be so weirdly ambiguous, or maybe cole wouldn’t be so… like that. who knew? definitely not eden. or anyone else, actually. i don’t know how to end this but this is the end . yeah<3 bye 

[justcallmenikki7]

Afternoon Surprises

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Summary: you won an afternoon with the biggest boy band in the world, but winning an afternoon with them seemed fabulous, but winning a date with a rapper was even better.

Warnings: fluff, fluff, fluff

Notes: another update? I’m surprised too.

Request: Hello. Thank you for your amazing work! I'd like to request something. The reader won an afternoon or evening with bts and they get along super well. And one of them (preferably yoongi) would really like to get to know the reader better and so they get close. Thank you again and I hope you have a really nice day! Love and greetings from Germany :-)

Notes pt2: OMG!! I have a reader from Germany? This is amazing! I did not think that anyone from other countries would be reading my works! This is an honor it feels like. Thank you lovely for reading my works! This makes me wonder where all of my supporters of from!   ~Love and thanks from USA :-) <3

That rainy Monday in junior year, the first time ever hearing of BTS, you were hooked. That was in 2015, two years after they first debuted, and the first time your friend had shown you them. To be honest, you were not into KPOP, but for some reason, BTS intrigued you. You never knew way, it could have been their passion for music and dancing, or their personalities, or just how intriguing they were. They were different from all of the other KPOP bands your friend has shown you, and you have always loved different.

Four years later, the love for BTS has never faded. You were always up to date, or tried to be, on them. You were not like one of those sasaeng fans, or the obsessed fans that you have seen. Of course, you did fan girl if you saw them on tv (sometimes exaggerated when your cousin was around you), and you did use memes of them in conversations with your best friend just to mess with her. You do know that the memes always made her day, in her words, ‘one of the unique things about you.’

So, the day when BigHit did a special contest, the reward the person winning having the chance to spend one day with BTS exclusively, you of course signed up. You are definitely no heathen. The night you signed up, you went to bed playing different scenarios on winning. It took two days on BigHit getting back to you, and you dreaded on opening the email. You had the thought on not getting the chance to win, knowing that the email could be a possible ‘thank you for signing up, but I hate to inform you that you did not win,’ kind of one.

That is why when you saw the ‘Congratulations!’ on your phone screen, you almost pissed yourself. You could not contain the excitement that you felt, having the urge to call your best friend and scream into the phone the whole time. That night, you were pretty sure that your best friend went to bed with a blown ear drum. You reread the email at least fifteen times, letting the realization that you will be meeting the seven dwarfs who have helped you through the both bad and good times.

“Holy fucking shit.” Was the first thing you said when you pulled up to a very expensive hotel in your city. It was so nice, and so classy that you felt intimidated. Of course, you have stayed in the ‘Holiday Inns’ and had considered those to be classy, but this, right in front of you, is a new kind of classy.

The man in the black suit opened your door, helping you step out of the limousine, before shutting the door behind you. He then led you inside the hotel, chuckling at your ‘awe’ expression by everything that you saw. But the chuckles that followed his chuckle was what made you freeze in your spot. You recognize those chuckles.

Turning around, you felt the urge to cry.

There stood in all of their glory was the seven saving graces that you have been wanting to meet for the last four years. The fangirl inside of you was overpowered by the overwhelming emotions you were feeling.

“Oh my gosh,” you gasped out, not knowing how to react.

You could hear their chuckles, something that made you relieved. This was a sign from them that was basically silently said by them ‘this is a normal thing for us.’

“I’m so sorry, I just love you guys so much. And like, I—”

“- Love, it’s okay. Don’t apologize.” Hoseok reassured you, coming over to you to hug you. “Jungkook felt the same way when he met IU.” He chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Hyung!!” Said boy whined, “Don’t call me out like that.” He pouted. Jungkook’s reaction had you laughing and shocked. Shocked because you never thought you would be able to witness this side of him in person. You have been so used to seeing him do this kind of reaction over youtube videos and fan made videos, that the real thing is so much better. Turning to look at you, Jungkook gave you his famous bunny smile, “Hi! You must be Y/N! I’m Jungkook, but you must already know that.”

“H-Hi,” you stuttered out. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, stop saying sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about,” a cool, calming tone demanded you. Looking towards the person who said this, you saw Min Yoongi giving you a teasing demanded look.

Clapping his hands, Namjoon got everyone’s attention. “Alright, how does lunch sound? We have the whole day, and let’s start it off by getting to know one of our biggest fans!”

When you guys got to the restaurant, you automatically felt out of placed. You insisted on having the boys take you to McDonald’s or even Taco Bell, but both Jungkook and Taehyung were very persistent on this place because of the reviews that they heard.

“You seem very surprised,” Namjoon spoke beside you, a small smile on his face.

“That’s an understatement,” you laughed, looking up at the tall man. “It’s very … classy.” You said in awe, looking around at everything, trying to take in what you are seeing and ingraining it in your memory as best as you can.

“She’s so cute, Hyung.” Jimin giggled next to Hoseok, a goofy smile on his face.

Blushing, you tried to hide behind your hair. You could not believe that you are actually in the presence of your idols. This whole ordeal seems so unreal, so dream like to you. Lost in your thought, you did not notice a presence beside you, that is until you felt a hand on your shoulder.

Looking up, you were met with a concerned looking Min Yoongi. “You okay?” He asked you, concern laced in his tone.

“Yeah, I’m just still in shock. It seems so unreal.” You told him in honesty, not losing eye contact with the older male (he’s only older by three years).

“Well, it seems unreal to meet someone as beautiful as you.” He confidently said, a smirk on his face when he saw you blush.

“Oh,” you were lost for words, taken back by the compliment – especially one from the one and only Min Fucking Yoongi.

“Guys!” Jin yelled, catching everyone’s attention, “We got our table!”

Shaking your head, you tried to get yourself composed before following the boys, not noticing the rappers stare. As you were walking, someone threw their arm around your shoulders.

“Ahh, young love,” Taehyung spoke, pulling you into his side, “it’s so magical.” He smiled down at you with his boxy grin.

“What do you mean?” You asked, giving the taller boy a confused look.

“Noona will just have to wait and see,” the maknae teased beside you giving Taehyung a knuckle punch.

Sitting you down at the table, the two boys sat beside you, making you even more confused. Yoongi sat right in front of you, smirking at you.

The rest of the lunch resulted in you telling the boys about yourself, answering their questions, and was loaded with laughter. Once lunch was over, the boys decided on taking you to an amusement park, something that was encourage by the maknae line. On the way there, Yoongi walked beside you, asking you questions about your favorite taste in music. The both of you found out that you two have the similar taste in music, something that had the both of you getting excited about the fact. As you and Yoongi were talking about music, you two did not notice the six boys cooing and making kissy faces at you both.

“Wait, you used to sing at your old job? But I thought you said that you used to be a waitress?” Yoongi questioned, giving you a confused look.

“I was a waitress, but my boss allowed me to sing, which brought more customers in.” You cleared up, “the people loved it.” You smiled, reminiscing.

“That’s awesome!” Yoongi gave you a gummy smile, making you smile back at him, not being able to resist his contagious smile. “Would you like to do a song with me?”

Feeling confident, “is that your way for asking me out on a date?” You teased, butterflies filling your stomach.

Smirking, Yoongi pushed his shoulders back, gaining confidence in himself, “Yes, it is.”

Smiling at him, you nodded your head, “Then yes, I would love to do a song with you. Or, go on this date with you.”

The both of you were too distracted by smiling at one another with huge grins on your faces to hear the boys rooting on the both of you.

[kob131]

Oh and his ending, which is suppose to wrap all this up?

A. “They have the lamp that attracts Grimm, that won’t be masked by the Grimm! They’re so stupid!”

Fun Fact-When Ren and Jaune do their trick-It’s a split second so they can get in front of the Leviathan and Ruby can blast with her Silver Eyes.

“A pair of Manta aircraft are seen firing shots at the Leviathan. Suddenly, the Leviathan unleashes an energy beam attack from its mouth. It shifts the beam over to one of the poles powering the hard-light Dust barrier, destroying it. The Leviathan roars.

Ruby and her friends watch in horror from their aircraft.

Oscar: It tore straight through...!

Air Control: All squadrons, fall back to evacuation procedures. Disengage Leviathan! I repeat, disengage! Over!

Ruby: No, wait!Ruby runs up to the radio.

Qrow: Ruby!

Ruby: We can stop it!

Air Control: Who is this? Identify yourself!

Ruby: I'm a Huntress. My team and I are heading to the Leviathan and can weaken it for you to attack!

Everyone looks at Ruby in shock.

Jaune: We can?

Ruby: I can.

Maria: Ruby, when I said "trial by fire"--

Ruby: I did it at Beacon and at the farm.

Weiss: You really think you can do it now?

Ruby: I don't have a choice.

Air Control: Manta 5-1, your ship is currently flagged as hostile. You will receive no support, over.

Ruby: (picking up radio) Fine, we'll do it alone if we have to.

From her mech, Cordovin overhears Ruby's radio chatter.

Ruby: We can hit it while it's stopped at the next barrier. Ren, you're up!

Ren and Jaune proceed to combine their Semblances, masking the airship as it weaves between the air battles between Grimm and Atlas forces. The Leviathan makes its way to the next barrier and charges its energy breath again.

Qrow: We're too late! Pull up!

The Manta aircraft pulls up out of the way as the Leviathan fires its breath, destroying the next barrier and toppling a cupola off one of the buildings in Argus. Ren and Jaune collapse as their Auras are drained.’

The lamp wouldn’t matter. And it didn’t.

B. ‘Why is everyone shocked to hear Ruby suggesting to help? It’s sooo dumb!”

Wanna know why I gave so much context above? Because above- you see what FMF is referring to. ... Yeah, the shock wasn’t from deciding to help- It was from Ruby saying they can stall the Grimm.

So FMF just lied. Again. And used the commentary while misrepresenting the scene. Again.

C. ‘That’s what the Writers decide to remember? They talk as though the scenes Ruby referenced never happened!’

Yeah, remember what I said about FMF lying? Well, the commentary here isn’t edited over a scene from the show and look at the lines he choose-

‘I’m curious what the idea was, this is a pretty bold move right?’

“It came down to, they had to try.’

Doesn’t really should like they’re referring what was said right? And Kerry’s voice sounds different from how the other guy’s voice sounds like (as in, it’s as if Kerry’s voice doesn’t follow directly from what the other guy said). Considering that FMF has already lied in this segment- why should I trust that he didn’t just take a piece of the commentary out of context and sell it to an audience that buys outright lies?

Edit: Fun fact, I actually asked for a transcription of this part of the RWBY Volume 6 commentary and a user by the name of Changyuraptor did it for me.

Wanna see what was actually said here?

“Chris: "I'm curious what the idea was, like this is a pretty bold move right, like she had just not even 5 or 6 chapters ago talked to Maria about the concept of just using her silver eyes to begin with and she's looking at this massive Grimm."

Kerry: "It came back down to- there's actually some slightly different earlier versions of the speech that was a little bit different, but Miles was like (I think he's saying Miles' name here, not 100% sure) 'they have to try" you know, it doesn't look like anything else is working, if she can at least try and it works to any degree it's something you know, I think what was a bigger part of this message too is I think a lot of people probably would have told her not to do it but she needs to follow what she thinks is best."

They weren’t talking about Ruby’s idea specifically, nor is anything said here indicating they forgot anything.

In fact, he cuts off most of what was said (even cutting stuff said INBETWEEN what he used) JUST to make that point.

So yeah- definitive proof he lies using the commentary.

D. ‘Oh Atlas doesn’t want help after asking for help! How stupid!’

“Air Control: Who is this? Identify yourself!

Ruby: I'm a Huntress. My team and I are heading to the Leviathan and can weaken it for you to attack!

-

Air Control: Manta 5-1, your ship is currently flagged as hostile. You will receive no support, over.

Ruby: (picking up radio) Fine, we'll do it alone if we have to.”

Not what they said FMF.

Also he tries saying the group was surprised when Ruby said they helped when that’s NOT what she said. Again. So he made the same lie TWICE.

Also also, he misspelled Atlas as ‘Atlus’. As in, the SMT/Persona company. It would have even registered as an incorrect spelling when he made the spelling. This was a video in production over a YEAR.

E. ‘Atlas hates the idea of Huntsmen!’

*Shows Ironwood giving a bunch of teams the option to walk away from the Fall of Beacon*

That’s not even connected to anything here...well, here as in the review because this does reinforce the thematic idea the show presents that you should stand and fight.

... Did FMF just support Team RWBY’s stance in Volume 7?

F. ‘NO body would tell a Huntress to not save a town full of people!’

*looks over at the people calling Team RWBY stupid for trying to save all of Mantle in Volume 7*

Cool, now even his laziness is biting him in the ass.

G. “THIS FICTIONAL PERSON WANTED A HUNTRESS SO THE REAL PEOPLE WHO THE COMMENTARY IS REFERRING TO DON’T EXIST!”

Fuck, how does anyone take him seriously?

H. ‘DUr Atlas man being stupid!’

Oh so not backing up the STOLEN SHIP that was JUST IN A FIGHT WITH THEIR COMMANDER and NOT KNOWING THE PEOPLE ON BOARD PERSONALLY is stupid huh? He should just risk his men’s lives for an enemy that SAYS they can help but they don’t KNOW that.

Gee, what were you saying about logic again?

I. ‘Maria flies into a dangerous spot, so stupid!’

Gee, not like point blank range would be a good idea or that they were already on that course but that’d require FMF to not edit a scene to suit himself and we all know intellectual integrity is toxic to his very existence./s

J. ‘How do the shield generators get hit if the shields are up?’

*Shown: the shield generators NOT BEING BEHIND THE SHIELDS*

K. ‘Hey, why try to get it’s attention when you have lamp!’

*Episode 1: shows that a bunch of panicking people would attract the Grimm over the lamp*

L. ‘DUR, REN’S SEMBLANCE!’

*Shown: Ren’s AURA AKA SEMBLANCE FUEL SOURCE BREAKING*

M. ‘Ruby takes lamp despite distraction!’

Hm, gee, almost like her plan was to FREEZE the damn thing and it didn’t notice her even while flying around with the lamp.

N. ‘THEY FORGET LAMP WAS DANGEROUS BUT REMEMBER IT STOP TIME!’

*points above*

O. ‘DUR< MECH FIGHT ONLY STOPPED FINAL BATTLE FOR LESS TWO MINUTES!’

You know...and taking out the weapon made to kill the Grimm for a long period of time...and Cordovon’s actions SUMMONED the Grimm...and all the shields were down and the breath attack that could level half the city in one shot takes about five seconds to charge up.

Gosh, it’s almost like he relies on his audience not knowing any better...

P, ‘SALEM THINKS HER PROBLEM SOLVED WITH FLYING MONKEY WHICH COULD HAPPEN IN EPISODE 2!’

1. You cut out the WHOLE REST OF THE ARMY.

2. ‘Hazel: There's an old saying. 

he two notice Hazel Rainart enter the room and stand next to them. 

Hazel: If you want something done right... do it yourself. 

Salem looks up to the army of Grimm she has gathered, before turning around and using her magic on the black pools again, engulfing the entire scene...’

3. Salem’s problem is the news Ozpin lived...delievered to her in Episode 4. Not Episode 2.

Q. ‘THEY GO TO ATLAS LIKE BAD MAN OZPIN SAY THEY DO! THEY NO QUESTION ANYTHING!’

Question.

What the fuck are they suppose to do?

Can’t wait anywhere, you yourself admitted that they showed the lamp attracted Grimm AND you never stopped bitching about Volume 5.

Vale is out.

Mistral is out, no Raven.

Vacuo is clear across the other side of Remnant.

Can’t even talk it out because people wouldn’t stop bitching about the talking in Volume 5.

You act like there’s any OTHER logical choice, FMF. Or that Ozpin’s lies would change ANYTHING about his decision about going to Atlas being bad.

But then again, that’d require your brain to function in regard to RWBY.

Then he goes on to say some shit about how everyone is just back to the way they are and how the Volume was pointless. I’d discuss that...but I want you to look at everything he said here. All the lying he did. All the suspect shit he pulled. All the crap he ignored. All the positions he abandoned in Volume 5 to bitch about here.

All the piss he spewed for nothing.

Look at this and think to yourself: Even if I saw the whole thing and heard his reasonings-

Would you believe a word he says?

I had to stop myself from wheezing I laughed at him so hard. This is the video equivalent of that drowning meme

He CREATED every single bit of his situation. He CHOSE to see things this way even after it took mental gynmastics to see it so.

It’s hilarious he acts like he’s in so much pain that HE INFLICTED TO HIMSELF.

I gave FMF a chance. His first point and his last point to impress me even a little. What did I get?

 An ironic comedy routine that makes Beavis and Butt Head look like Steven Hawking. 

[leggomylino]

light switch 2 | yandere!seungmin

Genre: Yandere, romance/fluff (sorta?), thriller, a little angst, some comedy

Pairing(s): yandere!Seungmin x reader

Word count: ~8k

Warnings: Author rambling, run-on sentences, mild language (censored), a few memes, moments of high tension and possible anxiety, ooc, and mild abuse/violence

A/N: Requests are open! | Masterlist in bio! | I told you guys I was working on this!! Lol I’m so sorry it took so long! :(( But, nevertheless, here it is! ...And yes, there’s a surprise waiting for you at the end... >u>” Enjoy!! And please be sure to tell me what you think! c: I love hearing from you all~ <3 (For those of you that missed it, part one can be found here)

Oh my gosh it’s finally back

Can you believe it’s finally back

Seriously what took this chick {author} so long to write this sh*t wtfudge man

Okay okay I know I’m sorry

It’s been really chaotic and I’ve had a lot on my plate (and mind) but we’re finally back now and that’s all that matters

So

My question to you all is

ARE YOU READY TO FINISH THIS THING?!

(enter your response here)

...THEN YEEHAW LET’S GO 

  Okay so

To recap:

AT A CERTAIN DANDY BOY™ HOUSE

Your mother had just made a phone call to Seungmin asking to talk to you

She wanted to remind you to bring the mail inside before y’all got too comfortable and side-tracked since you told her you were at Minnie’s (a fatal error on your part) and she and your father are out of town on a cliche business trip

Things always go wrong during cliche business trips

Anyway Minnie was pretty confused at first but he caught on pretty quickly that something was up

Something rotten in the state of Your Town Name Here

And knowing that you must have lied he decided to play along, beginning to gather the materials he needed

*cue ominous soap opera music*

 “......”

“...Seungmin? Is everything alright?” Her voice is growing more and more worried with each consonant. “Where’s (y/n)?”

“......” 

He laughs.

Just laughs for a moment, shaking his head.

“...Yeah, yes, she’s here. Sorry, my connection has been on the fritz lately.”

“O-Oh, I see...can I talk to her?”

“She’s in the bathroom getting cleaned up right now. I’ll have her call you as soon as she’s out...”

He paces over to the blinds, peeking out into the neighborhood from his second story window. Like a lot of cliche villains or suspicious people do. “...but it may be a while. You know how long she takes just to brush her teeth.”

Mrs. (L/n) gives a relieved, but still somewhat nervous chuckle, sighing at the end to ease her tension. “Yes, I certainly do. Thanks so much, Minnie. I know I can count on you to take good care of my little girl.”

“Yes...” He smiles, nuzzling the phone between his ear and shoulder as he’s scouring his room for things: a bottle labeled “Witch Hazel”, some cloth, a copy of his dad’s car key...as well as an additional key he never thought he’d get to use until now. “You can always count on me. I promise she’ll be out like a light before the clock strikes twelve.”

“That’s a relief. In that case just tell her to bring the mail in, would you? Thanks again!”

“It’s not a problem. Good night, Mrs. (L/N).” 

“You too dear.”

Beep. He hangs up.

Looks back out the window. Sighs.

It wouldn’t be a problem at all.

“...at least, not for long.”

 ~~~

 Back at Lucas’ house...well really, your imagination...you’re having a nightmare you used to have as a child

You’re walking down the street, minding your own business...

When all of a sudden the sky turns red, then black

The faces of the people around you turn sinister; they look like they want to hurt you

You begin to run as fast as you can, but your whole body is weighed down, like gravity is twice as strong on you

But not on anyone else 

So while the people who are slowly turning into monsters are gaining on you

All you can do is cower in fear and pray that it will be over quickly

But then there’s a burst of white light

Like a light switch has been flipped on

And the ground crumbles beneath you, bursts of white shining through the cracks

And you go tumbling down into the earth

Down

       Down

             Down

Until you land into a pair of soft, strong arms

Your face instantly buries into the figure’s chest, because you know you can trust him

He smells sweet, like lavender and fresh Spring daisies

It’s a calming, pleasing scent

And all the monsters who were chasing you before vanish as they fall into the crumbling Earth, disintegrating into nothing but ash that’s carried someplace far, far away

You look up to see who your savior is

It’s never the same person

At first it was your dad; then it was your sixth grade crush; a couple times it was the cute actor from your favorite movie

But this time, and sadly like the last five times you’ve had this dream since you started high school...that person is none other than Kim Seungmin

He’s looking so ...

There isn’t a word for it

His edges are soft

So are his eyes

And he’s looking at you like you’re responsible for hanging the moon in the sky and making all the stars glow

He has such high expectations for you

From you

That you’re afraid to let him down

To tell him the truth

You aren’t God, after all

But...

......

You just—

“gaAAAAAHHH—!!!”

!!?!?!!!?!

What the heck was that?!?

Your eyes shoot open to the sound of someone crying out

It sounds like a man’s voice...

And it’s nearby

You’re stunned into shock for a few seconds before you can get your body to move, and when you do you grip the plushie in your arms against your chest—

Wait, plushie...?

You look down.

Your eyes are adjusting while a struggle is clearing going on outside 

It’s the plushie that Seungmin gave you

The one from your house; you know it is bc it smells like your bedroom

But you didn’t bring this with you...

You’re scared, but you quickly throw yourself out from the safety of the tent—

And immediately wish you hadn’t

The window beside the bed is open

A cold draft blowing in

Lucas is pinned down, struggling 

The shadowy figure above him

Is none other

Than Kim Seungmin

He’s ripping something off of his belt-

It’s a syringe

He stabs it into Lucas’ arm with a curse, and not but two seconds later the boy is little more than a vegetable; no longer moving, barely breathing

Holy sh*t

I mean

Holy sh*t--

You gotta bounce sis

You gotta MOVE

Seungmin tosses a bottle of some clear liquid aside in anger, and it spills open in the middle of the floor

The smell hits you pretty quickly; it smells of lavender and fresh daisies

Just like in your dream/nightmare

It makes you feel a bit woozy upon inhaling it

But you don’t completely pass out 

Which apparently is what Minnie was going for

There’s a thump as Seungmin jumps to the floor

And you’re scared

Actually, saying you’re scared is an understatement

This is pretty freaking serious man

You don’t think you can meme your way through this one

You can’t move

You just kneel there outside your tent in shock, trying to convince yourself this is one of those nightmares that stems from another; you simply woke up into a new dream is all

But it’s not so

Something in your heart is telling you

This is real life

Seungmin is doing something...

He’s...filling another syringe 

Now that your eyes have adjusted, you can see he’s completely surpassed resting b*tch mode

He’s gone off the deep end. Like, he’s really gone this time

Looking so serious and genuine, so certain about what he’s doing...

Yet having lost all the light in his eyes

“Now, (y/n)...I need you to be good and take this for me.”

Uh

Uhhhh

No thanks bro that’s okay

P h A t pass on that one man

Phattest pass, phattest pass

You get your legs to finally work as he’s approaching you, scurrying towards the door and only stopping when your back hits against it, because dammit all, he’s still too fast for you

Seungmin is just right there man

He’s got you trapped

His fingers brush over the soft palate of your arm, gently feeling about for a vein

Apparently he wants to be more careful and professional when he drugs you

For whatever reason

You’re back to being immobilized

It’s like your feet are stuck in blocks of cement

Oh dear Lord you’re gonna die ಥ_ಥ

This is it

He wants you dead

He’s gonna throw you and Lucas into some twisted vegetable soup and that’s going to be the end of it

And you may have thought that had it not been for the blue and red sirens flashing outside

Minnie turns around mid-prodding, an obvious cringe on his face, and then suddenly he’s tackled to the ground by none other than Big Brother of the Year Lucas oh praise Jesus you may live after all

Wow this guy is your hero

He’s weak and there’s blood all over his face, his breath heavy as he heaves out desperate words to you

“.....(y/n)........g-get out...s-side.........cops....will take...care of y-you...”

Welp, he don’t have to tell you twice

Through all this, he’s still trying to protect you. He’d been drugged, his face cut into, beaten senseless without warning, yet he was still trying to save you...like a guardian angel or something

...Wow, maybe the author should have made this a Seungmin x reader x Lucas instead hubba hubba

But unfortunately she’s spaghetti and swamped with updates so we’ll never know 🤪🍝

You fling yourself out the door and down the stairs as some officers have just broken down the front door, and you don’t grab no shoes or nothing Lord, you r u n outta that place, choosing to consult with a kind-looking female cop that’s waiting outside on standby

Frantically you gush out what’s going on as best you can, even though you’re not so sure what’s going yourself

Most importantly, you’re sure to tell her that Lucas is hurt first. He needs immediate medical attention from what you gathered in the faint street light pouring in the open window

She comforts you and assures you that they’re handling it, all the while wishing and hoping and praying with every fiber in your being you’ll wake up soon, any minute now...

...but unfortunately, you never do. The reality hits you when Lucas is carried out on a stretcher and Seungmin is forced out in handcuffs.

 ~~~

 You’re at the hospital with Lucas

Seungmin really did a number on him; after beating him black and blue, he pulled out a knife and nearly blinded him

Luckily it was dark and Lucas put up one heck of a fight. He wasn’t on three sports teams for nothing. 

He’d put up such a defensive display that Seungmin had just missed his left eye...sadly, though, he got the right one

Lucas lost half his eyesight because of you

You don’t know what to say...what to think, even

If only you hadn’t gone over there. If only you’d just stayed home...or...or maybe...

You swallow as tears begin to fall. What the heck were you supposed to do? You’d had no idea this would happen. You didn’t know things had gotten this bad...

...but you also kind of did

The poem? It was a warning

No

A threat

You’d been given a heads up long before, and you’d chosen to play dumb and ignore it

And now Lucas would have to be called Patchy for the rest of his life

The only Halloween options he’d ever have are Pirate or...parrot with an eyepatch

And it was all your fault

Thank God Seungmin had been arrested…

...Wait

Seungmin--

Omgosh

He’d been arrested. Kim Seungmin had been arrested.

Why was this just now hitting you so ha--

“Oh my gosh, my baby! (Y/n)!!”

Oop. Mama (Y/n) in the house.

Your mother comes charging in like a swarm of bees, enveloping you in her arms but also giving you a bit of a sting for lying to her like you did. Lucas’ parents had caught them up to speed already, your father glaring angrily but thankfully from the doorway. 

After hugging them both and explaining everything from your point of view, they agree to give you a few more minutes alone with Lucas before you’re grounded young lady no TV no video games no books well okay reading is important for your future but nothing enjoyable and no dessert. They also plan to have a serious discussion with you about Kim Seungmin as well. Great.

Not wanting to let you go your father drags your mom out, her protestant whimpering echoing down the hall and they retreat to discuss things further with Lucas’ parents.

Oi vey

What has all of this come to? What are you even doing? How did things get this bad…?

You turn your head slowly from across the room, examining the boy’s eye (or in some ways lack thereof) as you make your way back, settling carefully into the chair beside him.

𝑊𝑖𝑡𝘩 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑡𝘩𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩𝑡

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑏𝑖𝑛𝑑

𝑆𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑠

𝐵𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑦 𝑔𝑜 𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑑...

...You now hate poetry

You’ll never read another sonnet ever again

“Hmn…”

!!

Lucas is waking up

It’s now five o���clock in the morning

You’re both dead tired, but you can only imagine how he must be feeling, being the one in the hospital bed…

……

...This is seriously all your fault

You hate yourself for it

You just

You just…

Ping!

There’s a text on your phone. You choose to ignore it, of course. Lucas is way more important right now than some Instagram or trivial weather update

Tenderly you reach, taking Lucas’ hand...or start to. You hover over it, wondering if you even deserve to be...if you even…

A warmth envelopes your fingers as Lucas takes them weakly into his own, the faintest smile present on his face. He carefully reaches up to pat the white surgical tape and bandages over the upper right half of his face. 

“...It’s never going to get any better, is it?” he asks.

You practically jump at the question: “No, it will. It definitely will.”

...Lying to him in order to not cause him any more panic is the best you can do for him now. Pathetic, but it’s better to remain hopeful, at least until he can handle it later.

His smile turns sad as he gazes at you with his one good eye. 

“I meant for you.”

……

“......”

You slowly shake your head no

He sighs, turning towards the fluorescent lights on the ceiling that have been dimmed to allow the patient on the other side to sleep. “I’m so sorry, (y/n). This is my fault. I should have just brought you to the police station, and they would have handled it professionally right then and there. I didn’t think...things had gotten this bad.” He squeezed with what little strength he had. “But I’m really glad you’re okay. Did he hurt you at all?”

……………

This man

Was lying in a hospital bed

Drugged

Bruised to a bloody pulp

He’d permanently lost sight in one eye

And he was worried

About you

->

So author, what was that about no love triangle going on here??

Smh

The only thing you can do is look downward, at the nightstand, the bedding, the far wall...anywhere that isn’t Lucas’ face right now

You don’t have it in you to accept his incredible kindness and heroic humility. You don’t even bother answering his question, except to mutter out, “thank you.”

 ~~~

 So what’s going on with Seungmin now?

Well, glad you asked

Cause you were just about to find out from a friendly sit down with three guest stars on the (Y/n)’s Chaotic Life show: Mom, Dad, and Officer Jenny

...No, not from the Pokemon TV series. Though you had to admit, the resemble was almost uncanny...not that this was anytime for jokes

“So,” Officer Jenny asks, pen and notepad in hand, “I’m sure you must be feeling many things right now, but let’s start from the beginning, if that’s alright. When did this all start?”

Your mom and dad just shared a look before turning to you, your mother gingerly patting and rubbing your knee. “Go ahead, sweetheart. Take your time.”

You take a deep breath and tell her everything you know. From the moment you first met Kim Seungmin, to the moment you first noticed him changing, to the events of some twenty-four hours ago. Your mother and father gave their piece as well, though really they claimed to be completely in the dark to any of Minnie’s chaotic and violent behavior, insisting he was always a sweet and well-behaved boy for as long as they’d know him. It was quite a shock finding out what he’d done.

Minnie…

…

Did you even still call him that? Would you? Could you?

He was practically a murderer. A complete psychopath. And you still had no idea why…

“So what do you think brought out this behavioral change?”

Your head snapped up from where it’d dropped downward, spacing out after having contributed your part of the story

Mom and Dad were glaring at you. Officer Jenny was waiting patiently.

But you had no idea what to say

Because you didn’t know

You didn’t

You didn’t…

...Did you?

Idiot.

바보

Does this sound familiar?

 “...I can’t do this anymore, (y/n)...not if you’re not going to listen to me or do as I say. It’s driving me crazy. Don’t you get it? Don’t you f***ing see how I feel about you? Have you really been so dense this whole f***ing time?!?”

“(Y/n). I need to know...tell me, do you…”

“...Do you feel the same way?”

 ...The part that scared you

The part that really scared you

Was that

You didn’t know…

 ~~~

 That night

After the talk show was wrapped up and everything was out in the open

Officer Jenny reassured your family that you were safe staying at home

Seungmin had been captured and a few officers had done a thorough investigation on your house to make sure there were no cameras or bombs or anything fishy like that

So it was essentially safe and there was no need to go the extra mile of changing identities and moving across the country

Except well

If you’re new to this story

You’re in for a bit of a shock because

Of course the author likes to shake things up :D <3

It wouldn’t be a story without something going wrong

And (Y/n) was just about to find out what that something was

It didn’t happen suddenly that night

Some time had gone by, about a week, maybe a week and a half

You were still pretty shaken up over the whole thing, and stuck in a mental state of Twilight Zone

You knew it was real but your brain almost refused to accept and process it

It was like a never-ending nightmare, too farfetched to be true

Because Lucas had to remain in the hospital for further examination and therapy, you brought all his school work to him

You’d taken a few days off yourself and then insisted you were fine to go back

You needed something to distract you from the reality

But, in reality, it only made it worse in some ways, students swarming you with questions and facility repeatedly asking if you were alright or needed a break

The only place you were allowed to go was the Student Council room, and Lord knows you did NOT want to be alone in that place again

Even though the school had already granted Lucas an extended leave of absence, he insisted you bring him a copy of your homework so he could “keep up with his studies”

But

In reality, he just wanted an excuse to see you. And you liked seeing him as well. It was nice to be in his company and check up on him, and he felt the same

When you weren’t at the hospital visiting and quote-quote “studying” with Lucas, you were either going through the motions on autopilot at school or sitting in your room, doing anything and everything to erase what had happened

That was, of course, easier said than done though

Often you found it hard being at home. It didn’t feel safe anymore knowing Seungmin had been here, so many times before, in the very room you sat in. Laughing with you, smiling, comforting or taking care of you…

He was everywhere. His laughter practically filled the walls and echoed down the corridors, his smile reflected in every glass sheen of sunlight

And when the lights flipped off, so did his expression. It was like you were reliving that horrific night all over again

You had to break out of there, your house and your mind

So you went to the park with a couple of new friends you’d made, Felix and Changbin. They were just as surprised as anyone else to learn what had become of Seungmin, and they’d actually been the first ones to shelter you and protect your privacy on your first day back, when your classmates started popping out of the woodwork to drown you in questions and condolences

As you may or may not have guessed, you’d gotten a new phone, during the Officer Jenny visit, along with a new number

After sh*t had really hit the fan, though, you’d become much less social, only registering your parents, Officer Jenny’s number by request, Lucas, and the day after, Felix and Binnie. Despite your previous crush on Jaemin, that had all but flown out the window and exploded upon colliding with a powerline, and you’re pretty sure after he heard what happened, he probably felt the same

And anyway, again, you’d become much less social since the whole incident. You really didn’t feel like talking to anyone unless it was your parents or these three boys. Maybe Jenny if there was some kind of emergency, which you sincerely hoped there wouldn’t be

...I’m pretty sure that covers everything

Yeah

So

You were now at the park with Felix and Changbin

Just strolling aimlessly, you in the middle with Felix to your left and Binnie on the right

Your two bodyguards

Felix, you’d come to find out, was a professional at taekwondo, which was nice

And though Changbin was rather on the short side, just his looks and voice alone was intimidating enough

So you felt relatively safe in their company, taking a quiet stroll at sundown

The park was mostly vacant save for a few late-evening joggers or cyclist passing by

Birds and squirrels and other wildlife were just getting settled in their nests for the night, the owls and probably a raccoon or two taking their place

The three of you walked at a steady pace, hands behind your back or shoved in your pockets as you stared straight ahead, at the sidewalk, or the surrounding forest life

...It was peaceful but a little awkward

Probably because you all had the same thing on your minds

Something you all knew you needed to talk about, but had been avoiding to spare an awkward conversation

Instead now there was nothing but Awkward Silence™

“So,” Felix spoke up after your second and a half time around, smiling awkwardly. “How are you feeling today?”

Both boys looked at you. You gave them each a short stare in return before shrugging just as uncomfortably. You knew you needed to talk about Seungmin, but you’d left your house to escape him, not engage him elsewhere.

After a few more paces you noticed the two had fallen a bit behind, muttering to each other in hushed tones:

“She probably doesn’t wanna talk about this right now. Why did you bring it up?”

“Yeah...I dunno, I didn’t know how else to break it in. Sorry...”

“Apologize to her, not me! We’re trying to ease it in, not break her.”

“That’s what I said, bro.”

“...No, you said-- never mind, just go do something.”

“Like what?”

“Like apologize! Am I the only one that knows how girls operate?”

“...Says the man that’s been single the entire senior ye--”

“Shut up and go talk to her!!”

At that point you heard a shove behind you, and Felix came stumbling back up to your left, Binnie steadily catching back up on the right. He gave you a calm and peaceful smile while occasionally casting eyes at Felix expectantly.

Felix took a deep breath while he scratched the side of his head, looking up at the sky for a second before tossing his whole gaze down on you. It almost caught you off guard how intense and smoldering it all was

“(Y/n)...listen, Changbin and I were thinking-- …”

He opened his mouth, but no words came. Instead he pointed toward the restaurant district of town. 

“...You wanna grab dinner after this?”

You blinked. Changbin facepalmed, a small groan escaping him.

But then all your stomachs growled, answering the question for you. You couldn’t help but smile, even just a little, as the other two laughed and the three of you headed off toward the nearby city lights.

Your phone gave a small ping! as a notification came up, but you failed to notice it thanks to the nearby rustling of what you assumed was active forest life, a stray cat or maybe a mouse

You had no idea how wrong you were.

 ~~~

 I know, things are starting to get a little slow

Just bear with me, okay?

Cause we’re about to pick up big time

Spoiler alert?

Oops

Anyway

You were now sitting at a small, quiet, but decently populated restaurant

There were a fair number of customers but it wasn’t overcrowded at all, more of a cozy cafe styled place

It was the compromise Changbin insisted you all agree on, he being the most vocally worried about your mental state. He didn’t want you to be overwhelmed by all the noise and chaos of some famous barbecue joint or a popular family restaurant, so after you insisted you could handle it and would be fine (he had been pitching the idea of just grabbing some food to-go and heading back to his place), the boys let you pick a cafe you often passed by on the way to school but never got a chance to try

...until now

Ironically and thankfully they were a particularly special cafe that served dinner because the author said so yeehaw B))

So yes, you’re all sitting at a small booth off to the side, Changbin on one end, you and Felix curled up on the other. You order your food and as you’re waiting, Changbin and Felix are locked in some dumb debate about a few of their other friends while flicking straw wrappers back and forth. They tried to get you in on it at first but, seeing that you’re still in a weird place, decided to leave the invitation open if you wanted to join.

Everything is just so weird right now. You’re still in the Twilight Zone. It just doesn’t seem real at all…

The whole spectacle refuses to leave your mind. You’re coming to accept you can’t get away from it no matter what you try.

Kim Seungmin, from the moment you met him, has always been a part of you. And he always would be. It was just going to be weird from now on because...because…

Ping!

Your phone again?

Honestly it had kind of been doing that a lot before but you’ve been ignoring it because, again, you’re not much for talking to people right now. Or getting involved with any social media events or news flashes or...or uh…

……………………..

Huh??

There’s...a message. From Lucas?

Bro when did he get his phone back tho

You’d been communicating through his mum and the hospital when you weren’t there cause patients can’t have phones so like

Nani the heck??

Wait

Maybe this was good

Maybe he was being discharged early

The treatment had gone well and--

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖧𝖾𝗒! 𝖨 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝖺 𝖿𝖺𝗏𝗈𝗋.

Oh? A favor you say?

You were so there. You kinda owed Lucas your life after what happened.

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖮𝖿 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌𝖾! 𝖶𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝖨 𝖽𝗈 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎? 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖳𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄𝗌 :) 𝖶𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗇𝗈𝗐? 

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖨’𝗆 𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗉𝗅𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌. 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌? 

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖸𝖾𝖺𝗁 𝖼: 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗌

> - > Bro why he wanna know tho--

Okay whatever

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖥𝖾𝗅𝗂𝗑 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖻𝗂𝗇? 

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖨𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗈𝗄𝖺𝗒 𝗅𝗈𝗅 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝗇𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒

………..

*gulp*

It’s not?

Why

Why isn’t this okay

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖶𝗁𝗒 𝗇𝗈𝗍? :𝟢 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖨 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖾𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖢𝖺𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗇𝗈𝗐? 

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖴𝗁, 𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗁 𝖨 𝗀𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗌? 𝖢𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗂𝗍 𝗍𝗂𝗅 𝖺𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗈𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗌? 𝖨 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝖻𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾

Lucas is typing a reply as your food is being set down, the boys cheering and mouths watering while all you can do is nervously glare at your new phone.

Seriously, what was wrong with Lucas? He wasn’t in danger, was he?

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖨’𝖽 𝗋𝖺𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 ��𝖾𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝗈𝗐. 𝖯𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾. :(

…

Y’know, this don’t really sound like Lucas

All of this is hella sus sis

But you’re so worried about him anyway, and so distracted by the excuses running through your mind that he could be on medication or what if it really is an emergency that you instead grab your coat and are just about to tell Felix to yeet when something else catches your eye

Ooooooooh boy

Ooooooooh bro

Ooooooooh buddy

It’s uh

Well

All those previous notifications

They’re all news articles and the like, as you already had guessed they’d be

Most of them aren’t very important: Attorney so-and-so does this, City of Hoopla does that, Guy Catches Phone on Roller Coaster, band drops new album and it’s a huge hit, yada-yada-yada

But there’s this one

This one in particular

That nearly makes you break down and cry

I mean

You’re close to screaming sis

It’s pretty bad

You probably know what it is already

Yep: you guessed it

 KXX News: Local Malefactor Escapes [Your Town] Jail; Police Baffled

 ...Okay

Y/n

Y/n--

Don’t freak out y/n

Deep breath sis

Deeeeeeeep breath

Breath nice and deep now…

Oop too late you’re already panicking

Hell I would too sis :( This is some bad juju

But

It’s going to be okay

...Maybe

I mean

You are kinda having a panic attack right now?

But don’t panic bc it’s going to be…

...you just passed out so I’ll be switching povs now

I’ll sort of summarize too since this is about you and - h i m - anyway

Basically you totally black out, the restaurant/cafe panics a bit (the few people who happen to notice) but Felix manages to catch you (thank goodness you were still seated at the booth so you just toppled over on his shoulder more or less)

In five seconds Binnie and Felix come up with a game plan where Felix carries you outside, trying to look as natural as possible, Binnie taking care of the check.

They argue and walk laps around the cafe about whether or not to take you home or the hospital

Home

Hospital

Home?

Hospital!

But when you start to come to, they agree it’s best to get you home to your mother

You fall in and out of consciousness all the way there, the only thing flooding your mind being the faintest scent of lavender and Spring: and Kim Seungmin.

 ~~~

 You were honestly a little surprised when you finally woke up

You were sure seeing those words in that news headline, all in one coherent sentence, was going to be the death of you

I mean, he did want you dead, didn’t he?

He…

…

Sigh

You don’t know

You have no idea what’s really happening

A reoccuring theme in this story

You dunno

You just

Don’t

Know 

:)))

But it’s going to be okay because--

Ping!

SCREECH \(ϾAϿ)/ 💦

Bro

Bro man

Your phone almost gave you a heart attack

A real one this time

Oof

Oi

Oi vey to hell and back

All of this is really getting to be too much man

You dunno if-- ...well

We done went over this already

You don’t know anything anymore 🙄😔

I mean

What even is life anyway??

You roll over on your bed to snatch the phone on your nightstand, an eerie feeling in your gut

Whether that’s from the fact you’re still recovering or you’re terrified it has something to do with everyone’s favorite Dandy Boy is a toss up

It could also have been the few nibbles of food you’d managed to have before zonking out…

...actually no scratch that, you were still pretty hungry. Which was a good sign, honestly

It meant you were already recovering well and most likely not gonna die

(ღ˘⌣˘)

That was always nice, y’know, not dying <3

So anyway

You glare at the lock screen in the dark, the brightness blinding you for a moment as you’re squinting and fumbling to turn it down

And when you do

You see there’s another message

A message from Lucas 

Oop. You forgot about him in your whole fainting episode

Hope he’s okay--

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖸/𝗇. 𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗆𝗈𝗆 𝖼𝖺𝗅𝗅𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗈𝗅𝖽 𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗉𝖾𝗇𝖾𝖽. 𝖨 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎’𝗋𝖾 𝗐𝖾𝗅𝗅. 𝖸𝗈𝗎 𝗀𝗈𝗍𝗍𝖺 𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝖻𝗈𝖽𝗒 𝖻𝖾𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎’𝗋𝖾 𝗀𝗈𝗇𝗇𝖺 𝗀𝗈 𝗌𝗄𝗂𝗍𝗓𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍, 𝗁𝖺𝗁𝖺

e-e

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖨’𝗆 𝗌𝗈 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒, 𝖨 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗌𝖾 𝖨’𝗆 𝗈𝗄𝖺𝗒 

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖣𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝖾𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎?

It takes a minute for him to respond.

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖭𝗈, 𝖽𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗂𝗍. 𝖸𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗍.

And then…

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖨’𝗅𝗅 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎.

…

Uhhh

He’ll what now?

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖣𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝗀𝗈 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾. 𝖨 𝗐𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝖻𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗇𝗀.

UHHH

wat

Sis honestly

what?

Lucas you ho what are you doin you’re sick

Sorta

You on them drugs boy

You needa be staying yer ass in bed so you can--

Ping!

Again? 

Oh now what does this crazy bish want??

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖲𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒! 𝖩𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝖿𝖺𝗏𝗈𝗋 𝖨 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗒𝗈𝗎

Uh

Sure? What is it??

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖮𝗄𝖺𝗒?? 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: :)) 𝖳𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄𝗌 𝗒/𝗇 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖦𝗈 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖼𝗅𝗈𝗌𝖾𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝗉𝖾𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖽𝗈𝗈𝗋.

………………………………………………………….

Bro man

……

Okay you know what

This is a little too weird

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖨𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎? 𝗈𝗇𝗈” 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖸𝖾𝖺𝗁, 𝖼𝗁𝗈𝖼𝗈𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖾? 𝖨𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝗅𝖾𝖿𝗍 𝗅𝗈𝗅

oooOOOOOH

Oooooh man what a relief

If you’ll recall

Cause ik it’s been a hot minute

In the last episode (Light Switch 1) it was Valentine’s Day

He just wants something sweet =7=” Bro you know that jello sh*t they serve in them hospitals must be nasty af

He just wants some good stuff is all

Who doesn’t want chocolate when they’re sick? Or sad?

But author eating chocolate when you’re sick isn’t good for you do you want to die

Hey bro bold of you to assume--

...anyway

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖮𝗁, 𝗈𝖿 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌𝖾! 𝖨 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗅𝗈--

…

Hold on

Wait just another hot minute

…

Sis how he know you keep chocolate in your closet??

He wasn’t here when you shoved everything in there

Heck he ain’t ever been in your house once

…

Enough ellipses you’re just gonna go for it

Screw it

It’s just Lucas

He probs just assumed it was a cliche or normal thing to do

You really needed to stop overthinking things and just

Do It ✔™

So you do it

You walk to your closet and open the door

…

Well you start to anyway

On the way over something catches your eye now that your sight’s adjusted

You make your way to your desk, where a stack of letters and junk flyers are just sitting there taking up space and making the room look trashy

You’re easily distracted at times, and a bit nosy, so you pick up the first flyer on the stack to figure out what it is

Such-and-So’s Pool Service!1!1 We clean--

Yeah okay you don’t care

About that anyway

What you do care about, or what piques your interest rather, is the date

It’s labeled as being delivered almost two weeks ago

…

All of the letters and junk mail are labeled as being delivered two weeks ago

…

You’re about to set them all back down when you see something flapping beneath the gentle circulation of the ceiling fan

A Post-It note?

A Post-It note

It says…

   It doesn’t matter what it says

Because you’d recognize that handwriting anywhere, after all the notes he’d written you

It’s from Minnie 

𝐼 𝑡𝘩𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑑 𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑏𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩𝑡 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑖𝑙 𝑖𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑢𝑐𝘩 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑖𝑟𝘩𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒? ;) 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑙𝑦, 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑜 𝑙𝑎𝑧𝑦! -- 𝐾𝑆 <𝟥  

𝑃.𝑠. - 𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑎 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑒𝑥𝑐𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑐𝘩𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑜𝑛 𝑚𝑒. 𝑁𝑜𝑡 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟. 

Deep breaths deep breaths deep breaths

He was here

He’d been here

He’d come here the night before--

He’d known

You were such a dumdum

Of course you should have known one of your parents would call. Probably your mom-

UGH

WHAT IS THIS LIFE OF YOURS?!

Okay

But

He was arrested so it’s fine

No wait

He got out

He…

...He got out ._.”

And you

Were

Home

Rn??

……………………

Okay time to get those chocolates and move move move

Just make a small right turn and

Ca-chunk.

……………………………………………………

The closet door just...opens

A familiar figure stepping out from the shadows

He’s wearing his favorite striped blue t-shirt and faded blue jeans

And he’s holding a rose between his teeth

He removes it with a muffled sigh, tossing it back into the closet

“I wanted to surprise you but, I should have known it’s just like you to get easily sidetracked.”

He shoves a phone into his pocket

Lucas’ phone.

He smiles.

“Did you miss me?”

 He paces over to you, touching your face

Stroking it softly with ghost-like fingers

It’s...cold and somehow oddly comforting at the same time

Sending you down a trail of mixed signals and warning signs all over again

But you can’t move

He’s backing you up against the desk--

Wait yes you can move

You gotta get out of here. Don’t think. Just get out.

Scream! Yell! Do something!

You scream. He places a hand over your mouth, shoving you back down against the desk. His breath is hot against your skin from where he hovers over you just inches, centimeters away…

...Maybe you should have gone for using a brain cell or two instead

“Why are you doing this again? Why do you have to be so difficult all the time?”

You’re struggling but he must have been hitting up the gym again cause this beach is strong

He’s rambling things to you under his breath, but with the pounding in your ears it’s hard to make out everything he’s saying

Oh dear Lord in heaven you have to get out of here

Use your brain cells y/n use your brain cells

PLS

He’s forcing you both to stand upright. He pulls you so hard that the momentum causes the desk to sway, a drawer popping open

A drawer containing your knife. The same knife Seungmin had given you.

He wanted you to sever some bonds?

Okay, you could do that alright

Braincells: Activate!

You go for it

Raising a knee to his xxxx, you shove him back with all your feeble might and snatch that bad boy, whirling around to slash your way out of here if you have to

But somehow Seungmin has become a Superhuman™ and he parries your attack, twisting your arms behind your back and slamming you back down onto the desk

You almost hear him grimace as you cry out in pain, like he’s in just as much turmoil as you

And before you know it a rag is held up over your face, Seungmin gently laying his cheek against yours. Somehow in the span of time all this was going on, he’d managed to throw a mask over his face...

“I’m so sorry, y/n...I never wanted it to come to this...I was hoping to take you quietly…

...But it’s also not my fault you’re so damn difficult all the time.”

Moonlight streaming in through the curtain was blurring together, your thoughts slowly growing more and more incoherent

A scream still caught in your throat, the last thing you recall is again the scent of lavender and Spring daisies. Except it was much stronger now, because that scent was now carrying you somewhere up, up, and away…

 ~~~

 The faint sound of laughter is what awakens you for the 47294907204 time

Seriously how many more times were you gonna clock out like jeez

Not to over exaggerate but man alive

…

……

………

You’re blinking up at the ceiling when it all comes back to you

Seungmin

Your room

Kim Seungmin

Your closet

Minnie

You being carried away somewhere…

It doesn’t take you long to throw yourself up right, but when you do you instantly regret the action, as a splitting headache takes hold of your cranial

It causes you to wince, reaching both hands up to grab your skull...which are, surprisingly...rather heavy…

…

Holy frick and frack you’ve been chained

Your wrists

There are cuffs around them

And you’re literally connected to a bedpost

…………

You swallow

This isn’t good

It’s not good at all

What the heck is going on now…?

You gotta examine your surroundings. You need to stop being in the dark all the time

Time to flip on a light switch brother

Let’s see

You’re sitting in a bed

Your bed

…

Wait

Your bed?

That can’t be right

You distinctly remember, despite the running gag of you not knowing anything, that Minnie had hoisted you off somewhere

He’d deadass climbed out the window or something

You look up and around next

…

It was unmistakable

This was your room: here was your bed, your bookshelf, your desk, TV, closet…

Even your stuffed animals and stationery was here. Exactly as you’ve always had it.

Except, normally your bed was on the right side of the room. Currently, it was on the left

So it was like

A parallel of your bedroom

A weird mirrored version, like you’d stepped through the looking glass…

...You supposed essentially, in some ways, you already had. Starting around high school.

Argh

This was really bad

You had to get out of here

Thankfully the chains were pretty long, so your movement wasn’t too restricted and you could move around for the most part as normal

If you had to guess, you could probably make it about halfway across the room before you ran out of chain

……

A thought you’d never thought you’d be having

Swiftly, you raise the sheets to check your legs

They’re free, save for a few bruises. Yours arms are in worse shape with twice as many and these damned heavy cuff links

This was honestly an outrage

And hella dehumanizing

You weren’t sure what was scarier: the fact that you were sitting in a mirror copy of your bedroom chained like an animal, or the fact that Minnie had done this

…

Seungmin

No more Minnie

He was Seungmin now

Maybe even just Kim

Because you would no longer have any ties to him after this

He was long gone now

It was over

Bam!

“Hahahahahahahaha!”

Oh gosh

IT REALLY IS OVER

HE’S HERE

WHAT WAS—

Wait was that laughter just now?

It sounded...familiar…

As in

Recorded

…

You strained your ears, holding your breath a moment

If you focused really hard

You could just barely hear it

Voices. Sound effects. More audio laughter.

Someone was watching TV

That or Seungmin had sold you to a circus act

Which might have been preferable actually because you really didn’t know if he wanted you dead or not

I mean

On one hand

Why would someone go to so much trouble to make an exact replica of your bedroom?

But on another

There were some major sickos out there…

And you really could never tell what he was thinking

…

No, no, no y/n

No tears

We’re not going to cry

Big girl pants big girl pants

We’re going to get ourselves out of here and hop on the first plane to a new country

Move to Switzerland and start a cute little sheep farm

Change your name to Olga

Marry a huge scary-looking huntsman that was actually very sweet

And spend the rest of your days baking apple pies and schnitzel and shaving wool from sheep to knit fluffy sweaters and sell them on the Swiss version of Amazon

Yeah something like that

Everything was going to be a-o—

“You’re awake.”

ACAHNDUSLILIAHDSLINUFARJDSA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

It’s Kim Seungmin

He’s standing in the doorway

You didn’t even hear the door open

He takes two steps in before pausing to admire what a mess you probably look like

Only to him, you’ve never looked more beautiful

You don’t know this of course, but in his mind: you’re stunning

I mean, absolutely breathtaking

Sitting here in the room he worked so hard putting together for you

Your hair a wind-blown bed-mangled mess the way you toss and turn in your sleep sometimes

The natural glow that radiates off your face when you’re not wearing any makeup

The shine from the rays of faint sunrise as they hit your tear-stained face

It’s a work of art

What he’s worked for since he first laid eyes on you all those years ago

He’s wanted this so badly for such a long time

And it’s finally happening

He’s finally gotten what he’s pined for all this time: you

All that time he took getting to know you, forming a bond, taking measurements and pictures and writing down numbers, formulating the perfect plan

It may not have gone exactly how he imagined it would, but it’d still produced the same results. You were now, finally, his. All that was left to do was to clean you of any ties you had to your past life, and then the war would be over. The climax had come and gone. It was all downhill from here.

He told himself over and over again, that this is what he’d wanted...but yet

A part of him felt almost guilty for some reason

Of course he was happy, but also

…

It this really what he’d wanted?

He wanted to celebrate

But

Though you looked so beautiful

He also didn’t like seeing you so sad

…

It was fine

You just had to get adjusted, that was all

It’s hard being whisked off from one place to another

In a few days you’d be all settled in and then you could both celebrate being happy and alone together

You’d realize what a wonderful thing he had done for the both of you and thank him

And he’d never have to worry about anyone touching you or so much as looking at you ever again

You’d be his special treasure

Something he’d be able to look forward to coming home to each and every day after he landed his dream job as a photographer

Of course, you’d never get to accomplish the goals you’d told him about for your life, but…

That wouldn’t matter after a little time had passed, once you realized you only needed rely on him from now on

And there would be lots of fun things to do at home, he’d make sure of it

He’d take good care of you, here at his father’s old cabin house

And no one would be any the wiser because his parents were scarcely ever home

They were never around, always traveling from one place to another. He’d learned to take care of himself when he was 13, and from then on had been fiercely and undeniably independent

He really hadn’t seen or heard from his parents since, they’d just left him with the house and sent monthly checks to take care of the bills. If he thought hard enough, the last memory he had of his mother was probably at an unexpected Christmas visit when he was 15

And after that, nada

So as one could guess, his life had been very lonely…

Of course, he’d normally preferred being alone and if he was bored, he had Felix and Changbin to check up on him

But that all changed the moment he laid eyes on you

Oh sure, he’d seen you before that fateful rainy afternoon. When he actually bothered showing up to class. But…

Catching you alone that day was like a sign to him

He’d been wandering the back alleys as he normally did

On his way home, he realized he’d forgotten one of his cameras at school

So he had to make a detour to get it

He really wanted to take some shots of the coming storm for a new collection he’d been working on

On the way over, it wouldn’t leave his mind that something was missing…

He needed a host, a muse, a character

Some sort of other life force to give breath to the photographs

They were fine as they were

But just fine wasn’t fine for him

He could do better

Surely there was something—

...Drat. They’d already locked the doors.

He’d have to hoist himself in through a window now—

 ...And there you were.

He couldn’t explain it

He’d seen you before, sure, rarely, on occasion. But you’d just been a passing figure in the sea of endless faces

Now you were more than that. You were the figure, the face, the missing piece he’d been searching for

But he knew how fickle the human race was. So he’d have to play coy and civil before going in for the kill

If he turned out not to like you, he could always toss you back out into the sea

But the moment he swooped down to catch you from that (minorly hysterical) fall, he’d felt it. The missing spark he’d been waiting for all along.

He couldn’t take his eyes away. You were simply too real, too alive, too beautiful and unwavering

Yet shy and clean and simple all the same

It was a perfect paradox

An acute conundrum 

And he was loving every second of it

He knew, in that moment, that he had to 

As cringey as it sounds

That he had to make you his

And now you were...almost

It was just a bit further before he reached the light at the end of the tunnel

He’d never be lonely or lost for inspiration again

Because he’d have you

And that was all he needed...

 𝑇𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑒𝑑...𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛 ♥