#the comfy feeling of complete emptiness filled me without giving me any fear

[crazy-half-horse]

i have accepted my mortality today

[saphirered]

Drowned Sorrows (Vagrant pt2.)

Caleb settles at the table in your shared room, ink and paper ready to go to work and you grab your stuff making way to leave when Caleb stops you, stepping in your path to the door, arms crossed and eyes burning into you. You try to step around him but he just moves with you until you give up. Apparently He’s adamant on talking.

“What the hell do you want?” You roll your eyes at his childish means from preventing you from leaving the room.

“This has gone on long enough.” Caleb states.

“What has?” You play dumb and Caleb gives you a disapproving look akin to a teacher scolding a student and you could just wring the life out of him for for it. Gods, can he just leave you be?

“You know exactly what.”

“Please, by all means, enlighten me, oh grand master Widogast.” You mock and now it’s Caleb’s turn to roll his eyes. Do you have to be so annoying? Why can’t you just act like an adult?

“If you insist. Why do you run out of the room whenever I study? Why do you feel the need to cringe and cower whenever I do anything even remotely magic related?” Caleb asks as you shake your head biting your tongue. This man… This man has some guts to call you out like he has but you suppose maybe this whole thing between the two of you wouldn’t have been as much of an issue if the two of you could just talk about your issues instead of bottling it up until you burst in moments like these, usually ending in some kind of shouting match followed by the silent treatment until Nott makes you ‘kiss and make up’ like she’s your mom.

“It’s none of your business, Caleb. Now let me out.” You once again try to push past him but he doesn’t let you. “Try me, Widogast or I’ll-“ You threaten but are cut off.

“Do what? You won’t use your magic beyond rudimentary practices. What could you possibly do?” Caleb pushes. You know he’s pushing your buttons, your anger only another means to get answers for himself and you hate yourself for falling for his calculated move but you still do.

“You don’t want to find out, Widogast. It didn’t end well for the last people.” There it is. That’s what he’d been waiting for. Those words alone, that threat is not an empty one. You wouldn’t harm him, not permanently at least but there’s a truth to your words and Caleb knows his calculated move to piss you off is paying off. He’ll have to tread carefully if he wants more answers and not actually provoke your wrath.

Shit. Shit shit shit. ‘It didn’t end well for the last people’. Shit. You didn’t want those words to leave your lips at all. Ever. Stupid Caleb fucking Widogast. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. You can’t deal with this right now and try to push him out of the way but Caleb hardly budges. You half contemplate leaving through the window just to make a point but you’d rather not draw that kind of attention to yourself.

“Veiled threats and half truths. Those are a coward’s words who doesn’t intend to make true on their promises.” Oh you’re this far away from kicking his ass.

“Well it takes one to know one.” You hiss. “You might want to think twice. We still share a room and I will not hesitate to smother you with a pillow while you sleep. Now. Get. Out. Of. My. Way.” You feel a tingling in your fingertips, frustration running through your face with just a tiny hint of fear. You ball your hands into fists, your nails digging into your palms. Last thing you need is to lose control right now but Caleb doesn’t have to know that.

Caleb steps out of the way, allowing you to pass. He stares you down until you close the door behind you, sharing one last glare before you’re off doing whatever you can to not be in any proximity of that room.

————

Hours later Nott has fallen asleep at the foot of Jester’s bed, the tiefling herself curled up comfortably. Beau’s sprawled out across her own bed limbs dangling off each side as she snores. You’d fallen asleep sitting against Beau’s bed until her hand slapped you in the face rudely pulling you from your not so comfortable sleeping position. You get up and stretch your limbs, cracking your back. Hopefully Caleb will have gone to sleep himself and you’ll be able to make it to your own bed without dealing with the wizard at this late, or rather early hour.

Exiting the girls’ room you see Fjord slumped against the wall near to his room, giggles and moans coming from the room he shares with Mollymauk. This time he had the sense to bring a pillow but Fjord still looked about as comfortable as anyone could be sleeping against the wall of one of the most expensive places in all of Zadash. You contemplated waking him and telling him to take your bed instead but you don’t doubt you’ll lose your comfy bed forever if you switched roommates. Don’t want to set any precedents because in all honesty, rather him than you having to deal with the lavender tiefling living his life to the fullest. Still, you take your cloak, throwing it over the half-orc gently as you move on to your room.

You don’t see any candle light bleeding through the narrow slit beneath the door so you count yourself lucky as you quietly open the door and slide in, tiptoeing over to your bed, putting your things down and beginning to get ready to sleep. You pull the silk covers back and lay down, making yourself comfortable and close your eyes. You can still smell the scent of that fine parchment and ink. You can almost hear the phantom scribbling of a pen over that paper, dipping into the ink vial every so often to replenish. It’s pure torture. The sound needs to stop. The smell needs to go and despite you trying to use some prestidigitation to get rid of the smell, changing it to those overly fragrant flowers at the shop you passed by a few days ago, the smell is still stuck in your nostrils, the sound still trapped in your ears, the damage already done.

You turn over onto your back, pulling the pillow from beneath you and pulling it over your head, releasing a frustrated but soft muffled scream more akin to a sigh into the plush feathers. The darkness behind your eyelids doesn’t help as you feel a vision of a room creep in, one etched into your memory just as that scent and sound are. Accompanied by feelings of pain and fear, desperation and helplessness, is the feeling of being completely and utterly trapped. No matter your tossing and turning, it all remains and the walls close in, sleep couldn’t be further out of your reach. That is until the lights turn on. A gentle orange glow fills the room and you’re pulled away from your memories and back into the room you share with Caleb.

“Would you stop your tossing and turning, please.” Caleb asks groggy, the sound of moving fabrics and endless sighs having awoken him from his own sleep. Caleb turns over to see you sitting, elbows on your bent knees and head in your hands as you try to stabilise your breathing, counting under your breath like its a life line. You may not exactly be friends and quarrel more often than not, that doesn’t mean he can’t be worried for you. Something’s clearly wrong and it doesn’t take an expert to see that.

“Are you alright?” He asks carefully turning to a half seated position to get a better view of you.

“Just go back to sleep, Caleb.” You grumble not moving from your position. No quip back, no witty remark, not even actual annoyance or a half threat to let Jester draw dicks in his precious books. The position you’re in, the traits you’re displaying are also familiar to him. He’s found himself in a similar situation many times and while you may have said it before as an offence, it’s true no less; takes one to know one. You’re reliving trauma, or at least coming back from reliving a traumatic memory of some kind. Triggered by what exactly?

“I’ll go back to sleep when I’m sure I won’t be awoken again every ten minutes.” In other words; talk.

“Piss off.” You spit raising from your bed, reaching for your bag. Instead you find an orange tabby raising it’s back and hissing at you, by the command of his master no doubt. You have half the mind to pick the cat up by the scruff and toss him at the wizard but right now you just want out.

“You can’t keep running away from your problems forever.” The words hit hard. Caleb’s right but why does it sound like a statement not solely directed at you? You know exactly why. You might not exactly have had any bonding moments with Caleb and he’s been shifty about his past but you know the words of someone who tries to deny that same truth themself.

“It seems to work just perfectly for you. Hypocrite.” It sounded like a curse. Hypocrite. Caleb had known for a long time but having it thrown so bluntly at his face, it hurt. He doesn’t lash out in anger or hit back with an equally venomous retort but instead just stares at you with pity. He really does pity you. He may not know the story but he knows that pain and no one should have to endure that. Still it’s your choice to keep it to yourself. It’s your choice to keep it all bottled up and locked away. No matter what he says, or does for that matter, he can’t change your mind, or even help you despite your differences, if you don’t allow anyone in, regardless of your like, or dislike in his case, for the person. He can’t help someone who won’t help themselves. And that’s exactly what makes him the biggest hypocrite here. His pain is his punishment.

“Where are you going?” Caleb asks as you push Frumpkin aside just enough to reach for your coin pouch, the cat hissing and clawing at your hands until he falls silent again. You open the door looking back one last time.

“To find a rooftop with a good view and drown my sorrows.” You close the door behind you and do exactly that. A bottle or two of good booze acquired and a nice rooftop found. The view would have been nice weren’t it cloudy. Halfway through your first bottle the gods decided to shit in your dish by the sound of rolling thunder and rain pouring down from the skies by the buckets, drenching you to the bone in a matter of seconds. You debated going back inside but you’re stubborn and stayed on that rooftop watching the water spill over the drains until you were shaking from the cold. Maybe suffering from hypothermia isn’t worth making a statement.

[rivers-rambles21]

The one where Y/n’s a tease

Part 4 of The one where Bucky has a cute neigbour series!

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader (f)

Summary | Reader and Bucky become friends after he saves her from  a creep in their apartment building. Each chapter explores a different  point in their friendship - very slow burn!

Warnings | 18+ only, Smut in later chapters (this is a slow burn), swearing, unprotected sex, oral sex, cockwarming (later chapters)

Will include elements of TFATWS in later chapters

Chapter 4 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 1 | Masterlist

I now realise the general theme is Y/n not being able to find her keys.

Whoever invented sundresses either needed a medal or slap. Bucky was in agony. The city was in the middle of a heat wave and neither of you could get comfy. You’d taken to dressing in sundresses every day, the soft fabric having a tendency to rise higher and higher up your legs throughout the day. There was something about the way they hung on every curve, how they framed your chest and revealed inch upon inch of tanned skin. 

You’d met one another in Central Park, intending on grabbing an ice cream and relaxing in the sun after a challenging day at work.

“He’s such a dick, I can’t see how they can make it compulsory to attend but won’t pay over time!”

Bucky merely nodded in response; he’d quickly learnt you’d rather he listen to your rants than fix your issues. 

“If I could change jobs I’d do it in a heartbeat” You continued as you reached the front of the icecream queue. 

“Hi, one strawberry and one mint choc chip please - oh and make the mint one two scoops” Bucky dug around in his back pocket before pulling out his wallet, handing over a few bills to the server. “Thank you.” He took both cones and handed you your favourite. 

“I’ll get the next one” You promised. Without thinking, you took a long lick of your icecream, moaning as the coldness hit your tongue. 

Bucky choked. 

“C’mon lets get somewhere cooler, you look hot” Your eyes bugged out as you realised what you’d said. “I mean you look warm! With your long sleeves and gloves!” You were quick to correct yourself which earnt a chuckle from the man besides you.

It didn’t take long for you both to reach a quiet vacant area which offered a gratuitous amount of privacy. Dropping down onto the grass, you stretched your legs out as you continued eating your icecream. 

“Do you mind?” Bucky asked, holding out his cone. You took it from him as he peeled his gloves off, sighing as the gentle breeze hit his fingers. He then began trying to roll up the sleeves on his henley, grunting in frustration as it got caught on his forearm. 

You glanced around double checking there was no one in sight before offering a solution. “You could just take it off, would do your skin some good, getting a bit of colour” 

Taking another lick of your icecream you attempted to look indifferent on the matter. 

Bucky took a hold of the bottom of his shirt before pausing. 

“What’s up?” You asked, taking another bite from your ice cream. 

“The scar isn’t the prettiest to look at.” He confessed, his head bowed in embarrassment. 

Your elbow jutted out and nudged him, forcing him to look back at you “Hey… it’s only me” You smiled back at him, trying to reassure him how little you cared about the scar.

He smiled back before taking the plunge and lifted the shirt over his head. You tried, you really did but you couldn’t help but stare at his chest. To say he was ripped would be an understatement. You weren’t overly bothered when it came to body types but fuckkk his was doing something to you. 

Snapping yourself out of your trance you noticed how his shoulders hunched over, as though he was trying to make himself as small as possible. 

“Trust me when I say this Buck, no one will be looking at your scar.” You laughed, fanning yourself in an attempt to boost his confidence and take the edge off. 

He chuckled in response and visibly relaxed, the pink in his cheeks growing from not only the heat. 

You handed him his ice-cream back and returned to your earlier conversation. Your prick of a boss had reiterated today how important it was you attended the charity gala that night, some bullshit about being a team player. 

In the midst of yet another rant, Bucky hadn’t been able to take your eyes off you. You looked radiant in the sun, a single bead of sweat every now and again trailed from your neck, down into the valley of your breasts. It took all his self discipline to not reach over and have a taste. And then there was the damned ice cream. He shouldn’t have ordered you two scoops as you took your sweet time licking and sucking on it, completely oblivious to the show you were putting on for him. What he’d do to replace that ice-cream with - no he couldn’t let his mind wander there. He felt his cock twitch as he watched you swallow the cream, your throat bobbing with the motion. 

“I reckon if I implement the Jim Halbert approach I’ll be home by ten” 

“The what now?”

“Jim? From The Office?” 

“You’ve lost me doll. I don’t remember you mentioning Jim before? Is he in Legal?”

“It’s a TV show, he basically said you should have a memorable moment with the host and take a photo to prove you were there. Once that’s done you can leave without it being questioned.” You handed Bucky your empty cone without question, it had become somewhat of a habit. You ordered two scoops and he finished off your cone. 

He took it from you and finished it in a couple of bites. 

“Well if you make it through and get home early enough I’ll order us some pizza and we’ll spend the rest of the night watching The Office, deal?”

“Deal”

_______________________________________________

You made it back in record time. You laughed, even danced with a few people, took a couple of photos and was there for when your boss got slapped by one of the waiting staff much to your delight. In and out in under 2 hours! 

“Hey Buck! Have you ordered yet?” You yelled as you knocked on his apartment door, looking for your keys with your other hand. “C’mon where are you” You muttered.

Bucky's door swung open and was instantly stunned at your appearance. He hadn’t seen you before you left for the evening and he was glad he hadn’t as he was sure he would’ve crossed a line. Your dress was strapless and fell to the floor, hugging every curve you had. The black velvet looked soft to touch and flattered your chest.

“Wow” 

Your head snapped up and looked back at the man in front of you. His eyes trailed up from your legs, over your stomach and to your chest before meeting your eyes. 

“How do I scrub up?” You joked, giving him a twirl. 

“Beautiful doll” Your cheeks flushed at his compliment and you looked back into your purse, struggling to locate your keys. 

“Can I come in?” 

He stepped to the side and gestured you in. Once in his kitchen you turned your purse upside down, realising your worst fear. “Oh god, this can’t be happening.” 

“Whats up?” Bucky decided to torture himself and stood behind you, peering over your shoulder.

“I’ve left my key in my apartment” Not realising how close he was, you leant forward, your head falling into your hands as your elbows rested on the counter. Unintentionally, your ass had stuck out, pressing back into Bucky's crotch. The super soldier couldn’t believe his eyes, it was as though the very fantasy he’d played out in his head countless times was finally coming true. From this angle he couldn't help but imagine gripping your hair as he pounded into your tight pussy, filling his apartment with your screams as you milked his cock for all its worth. 

Before he could get away from himself he took a step backwards, despite every fibre of his being screaming at him not to. 

He wasn’t the only one affected as butterflies exploded in your stomach, your core aching with the possibilities of what lied beneath his jeans. But, before you had a moment to enjoy it, the moment was over and Bucky, ever the gentleman, had stepped aside. 

“I’ll call the super” You grumbled. 

“I’ll order the pizza” He replied all too quickly.

20 minutes later and you were at your wits end. It took forever to get through to the super and when you eventually did, you were hardly reassured by his response. He’d advised he would try and get to you within the next two hours but he wasn’t making any promises - so much for looking after your tenants. 

“Am I okay to hang out here with you until he arrives?” 

Bucky simply raised his eyebrow, finding it amusing you’d even have to ask. 

“Thanks Buck” Lifting your hands to your hair, you started removing the pins, letting your head relax. Whilst putting your hair down you couldn't hide your discomfort in your dress as it restricted your movement. 

“Do you want to borrow some clothes?”

“That would be amazing” 

You watched as he went off into his bedroom - could you even call it that considering there wasn’t a bed? You sighed in relief as you ran your fingers through your hair, gently massaging your scalp, welcoming the relief.

“I’ve left them in the bathroom for you” 

“Thanks Buck” You flicked your heels off your tired feet before padding into the bathroom, gently closing the door behind you. It didn’t take long for you to change into the sleep shorts and t-shirt he’d given you. Using your hair tie, you tightened the pants to stop them from falling down. Rolling your bra into your dress, you returned from the bathroom feeling far better than you did when you entered. 

“Better?” He asked, pizza box in hand as he pulled two plates from the cupboard

“Much” You replied, sitting down on one of the dining chairs. 

An hour later and you were both stuffed and the effect of the beers you’d been stealing from Buckys fridge were starting to have an effect. 

“C’monnnn it will be fun!” You whined as you tried your best to tuck your toes under Buckys leg in an attempt to warm them up.

With a sigh he lifted your feet from under him and stood from his seated position, heading back towards his bedroom. Returning a moment later, he resumed his original position and started slowly slipping socks onto your cold toes. 

“I’m waiting doll” 

His voice snapped you out of your trance - you’d been watching his every movement, how he gently cradled your feet as he slid a sock onto each one before squeezing them gently.

“Okay, I’m going to fire these over to you quickly so just respond with whatever comes to mind okay?” 

He nodded in response.

You scrolled through the list on your phone before settling on a set of questions.

“Favourite snack?”

“Cashews”

“Favourite Avenger?”

“Cap”

“Least favourite Avenger?”

“Hawkeye”

“Huh wow didn’t - anyway! Age you had your first kiss?”

“12”

“Age you lost your virginity?”

“17”

“Favourite place?”

“Wakanda”

“Any secret talents?”

“I can play the piano”

“Really?”

Bucky nodded in response, taking another swig of his beer.

“Cats or dogs?”

“Cats”

“Favourite neighbour?”

“Y/N” 

You smiled at that one before becoming a little bit braver. 

“Favourite position” You asked, mumbling your words as you quickly took a sip of your drink. 

“What was that?”

“Favourite...position” You repeated, meeting his eyes.

Bucky gulped, his eyes not moving from yours. “Cow girl when I’m generous, missionary when I’m in control” 

You blinked a couple of times, your mind racing as you processed his words. 

“Good..too...uh… know” You gulped before racing to the next question, trying your best to not think about just what he meant by generous and in control. “City or country?”

“Country” 

“Bike or car?” 

Before he could respond your phone chirped, signalling a notification. Glancing down, you read the message - Won’t be able to make it tonight, will try and get there in the morning

“Fuck.” You muttered, clearing the notification from your screen. 

“What’s up?”

“I won’t be getting into my apartment until tomorrow, do you mind if I stay here?” 

Bucky looked towards his bedroom, his heart sinking when he remembered he didn’t have a bed. Reading his expression, you began “The floor is fine, I don’t mind-” 

“No” he replied, cutting you off. “You’re not sleeping on the floor.” Bucky thought it was bad enough you had to hang out in his sorry excuse for an apartment but hell would freeze over before he allowed you to sleep on the hard floor. “I’ve got an idea.” 

You watched as Bucky opened his door and walked out into the hallway. He started fiddling with the window which filled the back wall between your two apartments; the lock snapping under his strength. Lifting it up, he swung his leg over the ledge, landing on the fire escape. 

“Buck, what are you doing?” You whispered, conscious of your neighbours and the late hour. 

He took a step backwards and leant down, his face visible through the window as he stared at you, his eyebrow raised slightly as though he was wondering if you really just asked that. 

“Just… be careful okay?” 

He nodded in response and went back to the task at hand. 

A few seconds later you heard another snap and the sound of your window opening. Moments later your apartment door swung open with a smug Bucky on the other side. 

“My hero” You beamed up at him, your appreciation evident on your face. 

You quickly went back into his apartment, gathering your things in your arms. 

“I’ve wedged the window shut so you’re safe for the night, I’ll get you a replacement lock in the morning.” 

Returning to your apartment, you dumped your belongings on the side table, turning back to Bucky. “Thank you, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” You confessed, overcome with admiration. Before you lost your nerve, you pressed your body against his, your arms looping around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. You held in a sigh as you felt his arms respond and wrap around your waist, returning your embrace. Rather reluctantly, you pulled back as did Bucky, his arms returning back to his sides. 

“Goodnight doll” 

“Night Bucky” 

You slowly closed your door and smiled to yourself. Tugging his sleep pants down your legs, you folded them up and left them on top of your discarded dress. After completing your nightly routine, you sank into your soft bed sheets, inhaling Bucky’s scent left behind on his tshirt, silently wishing it was himself wrapped around your naked body and not his top. 

[certifiedskywalker]

Not Who I Should Be - Din Djarin

plaguenecromancer said: If that's okay, may i request Din Djarin x insecure reader? With him comforting her? A gal needs some fluff in her life 🙏 (if you're comfy with it ofc!)

AN: I’m sorry you’re feeling a little insecure. It’s not a good feeling, no matter what you’re having doubts or negative feelings about. I hope this comfort fic helps you feel better!

Boredom permeated every fiber of your being. The heat made it worse, stoked the flames of your tedium. Even inside, tucked into the shadows of the little home Karga had given you when he became magistrate, you itched to retreat from the fatigue. You longed for a fight, for something to work towards. Instead, you stayed still, tucked in by your window to watch beings of all shapes and species stride through the streets of Nevarro’s main city.

Boredom, this dissatisfaction, had not struck you in cycles. Not since the days before Mando and his small, green charge had entered your life. They had made life interesting, made crash landing on Nervarro’s sands worth it. Though, now, without them and their adventure, all you had was empty time. Less than savory thoughts and doubts had risen up to fill it.

‘What ifs’ plagued you most often, never leaving like the heat. What if you had pressed Mando, Din, to let you go with him after forcing Moff Gideon to retreat? What if you had stowed away on the Razor Crest? What if Din had not said that you would be safer if you stayed and that a life on the run was not a life for you? What if you were stronger, leaner, and meaner like the rest of the company the Mandalorian man kept?

Worst of all: what if you had told him how you felt?

In an attempt to free yourself from your regret, you shook your head and moved away from the window. People watching only worked as a distraction for so long. You needed to busy yourself with something, anything else. If you didn’t...you released a trembling breath.

Rather than stand alone with your doubts, you started towards the small kitchen nestled in the corner of your quaint abode. As you made your way over, you ignore the mirror hung on the far wall. All your worries and hurt seemed to gather in the reflective glass. If you wanted to shake the dull darkness, you would have to stay away from it; and yourself.

For the moment, the tea making process would serve as a distraction enough. As you reached up into one of your cabinets for a cup, there was a knocking at your door. The sound made you jump slightly. You had not been expecting anyone. Warily, you made your way towards the door and peeked out between the curtains of the window beside it. You saw a familiar head of dark hair lingering in the doorway and a wave of relief washed over you.

Eagerly, you reached over to unlatch the door. A moment after, it opened with a soft clanking and Cara Dune gave you a knowing grin. You quirked a brow at her in a silent question. Her grin only widened; a sight you were not used to.

“I’ve got a surprise for you.”

“A surprise?” 

Cara nodded and waved her hand. “Follow me.”

Before you had a chance to respond, Cara was already walking away. You sighed and slipped on your shoes before following after her. Nevarro’s back streets were not as crowded as the main thoroughfare. Despite his seedy past, Karga had eliminated most of the crime, via decriminalization or more reasonable law, which, in turn, eliminated the need to use the dark back alleys. The lack of traffic allowed you and Cara to make it to the catina-turned school quickly.

“The school?” You asked, but, as usual, Cara pushed forward without an explanation. And, as usual, you followed after her. Anticipation twisted your stomach as you wondered and walked towards whatever surprise Cara had in store. You were half expecting a wounded child or an infestation of womp rats tucked into the school’s walls. 

Once inside, your wondering turned to confusion. Class was in session with the reprogrammed protocol droid referencing the New Republic Core Worlds and the varying hyperspace lanes that connect each Rim of the galaxy. You glanced at Cara who, still smiling, leaned towards you. She extends a hand towards the front of the class. 

You follow the direction of her pointed index finger. Heads of hair and attentive children blocked your view of the front of the class. Moving to the side to get a better glimpse did little to help. With a few steps forwards, you saw that the desk on the far left was empty.

No, not empty. 

A little head of green skin peeked out from over the desk behind him. The Child. Your eyes widened at the sight. Suddenly, with a mind of their own, your feet started towards him. Before you even reached his side, the Child turned his head and his large, dark eyes met your gaze. A small gasp of excitement fell from your lips.

He remembered you, even after being away so long.

Without paying any mind to the lesson taking place, you scooped the Child up into your arms. He cooed as you lifted him, tiny hands reaching out towards your face. Small and warm, the Child’s hands rested on your cheeks. You let out a breathy laugh and smiled.

“I missed you too,” you said softly, “and the shiny man that carries you around.” The Child squealed at your words and you took the sound as a sort of giggle. “Where is he? Hmm?”

Knowing that, while he was responsive to you, you wouldn’t get a true answer from the Child, you sent a glance over your shoulder at Cara. When you did, you saw that she was casted half in shadow. The sight was enough to make you do a double take. Looking back for longer than a moment, you saw the shadow’s source.

Standing partially in front of Cara was your Mandalorian. You stared into the dark lines of his visor, wondering if he was staring at you too. The regrets you had run from suddenly caught up with you. Air was knocked from your lungs as Din took a step towards you, suffocated you with a wave of self-consciousness. Whatever lecture the protocol droid was giving was quickly drowned out by your heartbeat thundering in your ears. 

He takes another step and you feel your skin warm. How ridiculous you must look and what a mess too. Your slip-on shoes were tattered as was the cardigan shawl draped over your shoulders. This morning, you had dressed to stay indoors. Now, you were standing in a classroom, precious Child in arms, and staring at the only man you had ever truly fallen for.

Another step and you feel your chest tighten. You have a million things you want to say, but only one thing you want to do. Despite that, your feet stay firmly planted to the floor, unmoving. There would not be any running into his arms or even meeting him in the middle. Fear and doubt gripped you too tightly for that. 

One more step and, “hey.”

“Hi,” you whisper, suddenly aware of all the pairs of eyes in the room. A few of the children, unentertained by the lecture, stare awestruck at the shining, metal man that had just strode into their classroom. “I mis-”

“We should leave these kids to their schooling,” Karga said, stepping out from beside Cara. You peeked over Din’s shoulder and nodded at him. As Karga and Cara made their way towards the door, you followed suit. When you passed him, you heard elements of Din’s  armor clank together as he stayed close on your heels. Even a pace or so in front of him, you could still feel the warmth of his body behind yours as you all made your way to the Magistrates office. 

Once there, the trio wasted no time in telling you their newest plans.

“You’re going to blow it up?”

“Erase the stain of the Empire from our glorious home planet,” Karga extrapolated with an all too knowing smile.

“So, you’re blowing it up,” you sighed. The Child let out a coo, big dark eyes peering up at you from where he was nestled safely in your arms

“See! Even the baby agrees with me!” Karga clapped his hands together and let out a chuckle. You frowned and shook your head before refocusing your attention on the Child. 

Before you could respond, poke holes in this horribly vague and wild plan, Din’s hand reached out. Gloves fingers reached towards the Child, stroked the top of his head and down the curve of one of his large ears. You looked up and saw the Mandalorian fixed on the little creature. Though, he must have sensed your eyes because the visor lifted quickly; his hand still lingered near your arm. If you were not so enraptured by Din’s close proximity and focused line of sight on you, you may have felt how his covered fingertips so carefully brushed against your upper arm, the place where the Child’s head rested comfortably.

“Can you watch him?”

 The stillness of Din’s voice was usually what stirred your stomach; his tone was always forward, stoic. But, with that question, there was a bend that made your heart flutter in your chest. He was worried, or overwhelmed by something, you weren’t entirely sure. All you were sure of was how, when he spoke to you like that, you would do just about anything he asked of you.

Though, as much as you adored the Child, you wanted to help. You yearned to be where the action was. In this case, an abandoned Imperial outpost. Not quite the complete savior from boredom you had wished for, but it would get you away from yourself long enough. Din leaned closer and you swore you saw a flash of his eyes in the rays of light that struck his helmet's visor.

“Y/N?” Mouth suddenly dry, you struggled to find your voice while lost in his; lost in the way he said your name. No, you would slow them down, weaken the team. The last thing you wanted was to add more worry to Din's already heavy shoulders. He hadn’t even asked if you wanted to come with; he knew that you weren’t combat material, not a hardened warrior, not a worthy addition to the team. When you finally found your voice, your held the darkened gaze of Din’s visor, staring into the blackness at the points you imagined his eyes would be.

“Of-of course.” You cringed at the stammer laced in your words. Nerves and doubts had ways of undermining your every attempt to remain collected in front of others; the Mandalorian especially so.

“Good.”

Good? You felt your whole body warm at the single word. Self conscious, you opened your mouth to say something, anything to deflect attention from your burning cheeks and wide eyes. Luckily, Karga always had something to say.

“Then it’s settled! Let’s check in with our get away driver.” Karga turned on his heels and, somewhat leading Cara out of the office, left the room. Cara sighed and nodded at you before following the man’s trail. 

“You’ll be alright here?” You focused your gaze back on Din. His visor, his gaze was still trained on you. You don’t think it ever left.

“Yeah,” you said quickly. He was nervous too, wary about leaving the Child, his child, in your care. Your lips turned to a frown,  weighed down by the weight of Din’s and your own self doubt. 

“If he gives you trouble, I’m a comm away.” You nodded at his reassurance, but your expression did not change. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” you said softly, watching as Din started towards the door. He gave you one last look, hand gripping the door frame with one foot out under Nevarro’s sun. “Stay safe.”

Din lingered in the wake of your words before he finally nodded and followed Cara towards the edge of town. You watched him go through the window, and found yourself where you began: waiting for an adventure, an escape from your own mind. A small chittering from the Child pulled your gaze back in. His little green hands were reaching up towards your face again, wonder in his dark eyes.

“You’ll keep me busy, won’t you?” You asked, and the Child cooed in response. “We’re both kind of lost, aren’t we?”

“Am I boring you?”

The Child yawned in response, with his eyes slowly closing and, even slower, blinking open again. You took a long breath before you reached over from where you sat to pick him up. Pieces of ration bread clung to the skin around his mouth, a few crumbs falling to the floor of your little homestead before you could wipe them away. You would have to clean later.

“Guess my little stories aren’t as exciting as the adventures you’ve been on, huh? I can’t imagine all the places you and your Mando have gone.”

With eyelids heavy, the Child only chirped once in reply. You strode over to the piecemeal couch you had found and placed against the far wall. Mismatched tones of red cushions swallowed you as you sat down. Your body sank into the fabric, held you as softly as you held the Child in your arms. Every aching bone and muscles sighed in relief as you wedged yourself in the couch, snug between the cushions and the armrest.

In the distance, somewhere in the city’s nightlife, a creature howled. Though, not even an explosion or the opening of a clanky door could distract you from the Child. Except for yourself. Except for the doubts and thoughts and insecurities that swirled about your head. Your brain felt like a dusted engine, ready to burst under the pressure. Finally, it did.

“If I were fitter, quicker to the draw….” you laughed at yourself bitterly. “No, if I were better, overall, I would have gone with you and him. If I weren’t scared, in my head, I might have too...I’m just-”

The Child chittered softly, in tune with the rise and fall of his little chest. For a moment you waited for him to make another sound, say his piece. Then, the same chittering, the same long breath. He was asleep and you were alone with your thoughts again. 

“I’m just not who I should be,” you finished.

A sigh fell from your lips as you shifted to set the Child down. Like you, he sank into the cushions but he wiggled his way deeper. You wished you could sleep as soundly. As you moved to your feet, you caught the telltale clanking of your metal door closing.

With a lurch in your heart and stomach, you spun around on your heels, frightened but ready to attack the intruder. Afterall, the Imps were still after the Child. But it was not a platoon of sneaking Stormtroopers or officers clad in black that greeted you. It was your Mando, Din.

“Hey, hey, it’s just me.”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s just you. You scared the starlight out of me!” You kept your voice to a louder whisper, as to not wake the Child. “I wasn’t expecting you back so soon.”

“Neither was I,” Din admitted, taking a few steps towards you so he too could lower his voice. “The outpost wasn’t as abandoned as Karga said.”

You raised your brows at him. “But it’s…”

“They’re gone, for now. As long as he,” he tipped his helmeted head towards the Child, “and I stay here. It’s not safe, for anyone.”

“Are you two ever safe?” You ask, a joking, bittersweet twinge to your words. When they had left, leaving you on Nevarro with Cara and Karga, you don’t think you ever stopped worrying about Din and the Child. Or wondering about what your life would have been like if you had gone with them. A glance at the Child sent you back to those daydreams; instinctively, you smiled.

“No,” Din answered seriously, “and that’s why I never asked if you wanted to join us.” You turned your eyes from the Child back to Din. Dark and unyielding, the visor of his helmet was trained on you. “Not because...you’re capable, Y/N. You’re…”

“You don’t have to say anything. I understand why.” You raised a hand and waved him off. “You better get going anyway.”

In an attempt to escape the white-hot embarrassment that had begun to crawl up your neck, you started towards your kitchen. How could you have been so unaware and let him hear you? Why were you even talking to the Child like that? Why did you have to be so-

As you passed Din, his hand caught your upper arm. It was a harsh grab. It was more like you were a floating piece in a hologram puzzle and the user finally put you in place; right where you belonged. Warmth spread to every far reach to your limbs, every track of skin. Overwhelmed by the heat, you looked up and out towards Din once more. 

“You’re exactly who you should be: brave, when it counts, and kind. I wish I knew more people like you, but you’re enough for me.”

Tears stung behind your eyes, begging to be shed. You were frozen now but warm still; a sort of puddle captured in the freezing grip of words you didn’t know you wanted, needed to hear. When you muscles finally thawed, you didn’t say a word. Instead, you leaned into Din’s touch and he, much to your surprised, opened his arms for you.

Beskar was cold against your skin, seeped through the fabric of your clothes. A stark contrast to the flames of want and affection that engulfed you. Din’s hand dropped from your arm and wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him. His other arm moved so that his left hand cradled your head, held it to his chest.

In that moment, your thoughts scattered, succumbed to the heat captured between your body and Din’s. For the first time, there was no smoke in your head that tarnished everything you did, said, or felt. It was only you and Din, together; exactly where you should be.

[mikauzoran]

Lukadrien: Zebras Can’t Change Their Stripes: Chapter Nine

Read it on AO3: Zebras Can’t Change Their Stripes: Chapter Nine

Luka didn’t last long after brunch.

By the time the dishwasher was loaded and Luka had finished teasing Adrien, Luka’s headache was back in full force.

“I need to go lie down before I throw up,” Luka groaned, gingerly massaging his temple. “Or maybe I should throw up and then go lie down.”

“No vomiting,” Adrien chastised, taking Luka by the elbow and gently guiding him back towards Luka’s bedroom. “I don’t want that breakfast I lovingly made going to waste. You need to digest those nutrients.”

“I’ll do my best,” Luka chuckled weakly, consenting to be escorted just so he could indulge in the warmth of Adrien’s hand on his skin. “…Sorry about all this.”

Adrien clicked his tongue.

“Shh. No apologies. Go lie down and feel better,” he instructed as he deposited Luka onto his bed. “And call me if you need anything because I want to be helpful, okay?”

“Okay,” Luka reluctantly agreed, still feeling guilty.

“Promise?” Adrien stressed, not believing Luka for a minute. “I don’t want to come in here to check on you and find you dead. You call me if you need me.”

Luka let out a soft laugh, smiling dimly. “Okay. I promise. Thank you, Adrien.”

With a patented wink that did things to Luka’s heart, Adrien turned to go. “Feel better soon, Orpheus.”

 Adrien and Plagg had four years’ worth of television to catch up on, so they settled down on the couch with a fresh-baked batch of gougère and spent the afternoon watching Netflix.

Adrien kept the volume relatively low so that he would hear if Luka stirred and needed him, but the apartment remained quiet, so Adrien assumed that Luka was either dead or sleeping.

“Quit fussing,” Plagg purred soothingly from his perch on Adrien’s shoulder. “He’s a grown man. He’s survived this long without you, so he can obviously take care of himself to some extent.”

Adrien snorted as he scrolled through the myriad options filling the screen, searching for their next show to binge. “You didn’t see what a mess this place was when I moved in. It’s apparent that Luka’s been running on empty for a while. Maybe he can take care of himself, but maybe he shouldn’t have to. Maybe I can do it better, and maybe he should know that he doesn’t have to go it alone all the time.”

Adrien took a deep breath and sighed it out. “I worry about him.”

“You worry too much, Kitten,” Plagg chuckled, flying down to point at the screen. “That one. Trixx said it was good.”

Adrien arched an eyebrow. “Lupin? Like the book series?”

A knock at the door cut off Plagg’s reply.

Adrien set his brand-new laptop aside and made his way to the door as Plagg retreated to his hiding spot in Adrien’s left shoulder.

“I wonder if it’s Josie or Jacob come to check on Luka. …Though, they were pretty trashed last night too,” Adrien muttered as he put his eye to the peephole.

Sucking in a gasp, Adrien sprang back from the door, hissing, “It’s Marinette!” in a whisper.

“Plagg, what do I do?!”

Plagg floated back out into the room with a shrug. “Let her in? Don’t let her in? There aren’t a lot of options, so it shouldn’t be too complicated.”

“But it is,” Adrien insisted, running his hands aggressively through his hair in his panic. “The last time I saw her, I threw my ring at her and ran away after my father was just revealed to be the big bad we’d been fighting for almost a decade.”

“You threw the ring at her feet, not at her,” Plagg corrected calmly.

“And then I ran away and left her to deal with a huge mess,” Adrien groaned. “Not to mention I completely missed the fact that my father was evil. She either thinks I was in on it or that I’m a total moron.”

“Kid—” the kwami attempted to interject.

Adrien wasn’t listening as he clutched his head in his hands and sank to the floor.

“Plagg, what if she hates me?” he whispered, horrified at the prospect.

With a sigh, Plagg alighted on Adrien’s knee. “Kid, she’s agonizing over the exact same thing herself.”

Adrien blinked, regaining some composure as he focused on Plagg. “What?”

“Adrien, Marinette thinks she failed you,” Plagg gently explained. “I mostly stayed in the box while you were gone, but I’ve heard Tikki stressing about it. Marinette is all caught up on how she ruined your life and wasn’t a good enough friend to you and failed you as a partner when you needed her most. She thinks you hate her…but you don’t, do you?”

Adrien’s brow crumpled in confusion. “What? No. No, of course not. None of this is Marinette’s fault. She always did everything she could for me. I just…I didn’t let her help me after…”

Plagg nodded. “Do you think she’d put so much energy and time into worrying about you if she hated you?”

Adrien gulped as the puzzle pieces aligned in a way that didn’t quite make sense to him. “…No?”

“No, she wouldn’t,” Plagg affirmed.

A tentative knock came again at the door, making Adrien jump.

“Hello?” Marinette called from out in the hallway, her voice muffled. “I know you’re there. Please open the door.”

Slowly, Adrien got to his feet, mustering every ounce of courage he could manage.

He took a deep breath, held it, and unlocked the door.

“Thank you,” Marinette sighed in relief. “I’m sorry for coming over here, but I—”

She abruptly cut herself off with a gasp when the door opened to reveal Adrien instead of Luka.

Her eyes went as wide as mooncakes as she slapped a hand over her mouth in disbelief.

Adrien pushed down his fear of rejection and smiled, opening his arms in invitation. “Hi, Buguinette. I’ve really missed you.”

“Chaton,” she choked, slamming into him like a billboard and nearly crushing him with the force of her hug. “Adrien.”

“Marinette, I’m so sorry for leaving the way I did…for not being able to handle any of it. I’m sorry for staying away so long. I don’t know if you can ever forgive me, but—”

“—Shut up, you stupid cat,” she blubbered into his shirt. “I’m the one who should be saying sorry after everything I’ve done.”

She pulled back slightly to face him. “Adrien, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you. I didn’t—”

“—Shh,” he sniffled as tears of mingled relief and joy streamed down his cheeks. “Marinette, I didn’t let anyone be there for me. I pushed everyone away so that I didn’t pull them down with me. There is absolutely nothing I blame you for.”

She blinked at him, stunned, as he smiled down at her beatifically, offering absolution.

“But…if I had just been better,” she protested. “I could have—”

“—Shut up, you dumb bug,” he whispered, pulling her back into a hug and resting his head against hers. “I’m not mad at you, and I don’t think anything is your fault. It’s all in your head, My Lady. You were always the best at beating yourself up.”

She settled into his arms, tightening her own hold on him as well. “So…we’re okay?”

“So long as you’re not mad at me,” he agreed.

“I could never be mad at you, Idiot,” she pouted into his chest.

“You’ve been mad at me before,” he chuckled, beginning to sink into the familiarity of their old partnership.

“Not for real. Not for long,” she snorted.

They stood there for a long stretch, regaining their equilibrium and absorbing the reality of everything being okay.

Eventually, they pulled apart and took a good look at one another.

“…Are you okay?” Marinette inquired cautiously as she noted how thin he seemed and the subtly-off pallor of his skin.

Adrien grimaced, averting his gaze. “Not yet, but I think I’m finally headed in the right direction. …I don’t really want to talk about it, but the past four years have been rough, so…it’s going to be a bit before I’m ‘okay’ again.”

Marinette nodded, reaching out to rest a supportive hand on his bicep. “Is there anything I can do?”

She gave his arm a squeeze.

A sheepish smile turned up the corners of his mouth, and he shot her a coy look. “Be my friend again?”

With a roll of her eyes, she lightly swatted at him. “Adrien, I never stopped thinking of you as a friend.”

Fresh tears began to well up in his eyes. “R-Really?”

With a bashful smile, she met his gaze and nodded. “Even when I was afraid you wouldn’t want anything to do with me anymore. …So, what else can I do for you?”

“Give him head pats and tell him he’s a good boy,” Plagg suggested from where he’d made himself comfy among the savory cheese pastries on the plate on the couch. “It makes him really happy when you tell him he’s a good cook.”

“Plagg,” Adrien groaned, giving his kwami an eyeroll. “No one is going to eat those now that you’ve rolled in them.”

“That was the plan,” Plagg snickered.

“I see that I needn’t have worried about you, Plagg.” Marinette gave a half-amused snort. “Luka came to get you for Adrien. It all makes sense now.”

“It was sweet of you to worry,” Plagg chuckled, holding up one of the cheese puffs. “Want a gougère? He made them himself, and they’re delicious.”

Marinette quirked an eyebrow at Adrien. “You cook?”

Adrien blushed as his hand went to the back of his neck in his habitual gesture. “I mean…just a little.”

“He’s amazing,” Plagg bragged as if he himself were the one to be praised.

“What can you make?” Marinette pressed, giving Adrien a gentle nudge with her elbow.

“Anything,” Plagg cut Adrien off before he could downplay his talents. “You should get him to cook for you sometime.”

Adrien bit his lip and tentatively offered, “Would you like to eat with us? I made a whole bunch of soups this morning.”

Marinette’s mouth rounded into an “o” of surprise. “I would love to, but I’m not sure if I should impose like that.”

Adrien waved away her reservations. “It’s not a problem at all. Luka’s totally cool with me inviting friends over. Besides, I was just thinking about getting Luka up and making him eat something anyway, so you should join us. He’s kind of having one of his bad days because of The Breakup, so I’m sure he’d appreciate your company.”

Plagg winced. “Uh…Kid…”

Marinette looked utterly puzzled and opened her mouth to seek clarification, but the moment was interrupted as Luka’s bedroom door creaked open.

“Hey, Adrien, do we still have some of that…” Luka froze, putting out a hand to brace himself in the doorway as he registered Marinette’s presence. “…potato leek soup you made the other day,” he finished flatly, redirecting all of his mental energy to not panicking.

“Sure. I’ll heat some up for you, if you want,” Adrien replied enthusiastically, missing the tense, thick atmosphere between Luka and Marinette.

“I actually just invited Marinette to eat with us,” Adrien continued excitedly as he started towards the kitchen.

“Chaton, I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Marinette sighed.

Adrien blinked and looked back and forth between Marinette and Luka. “Why not? Luka doesn’t mind, do you, Luka?”

Luka winced, wishing for an akuma attack to call Marinette and Adrien away so that Luka wouldn’t have to deal with this situation.

“You didn’t tell him,” Marinette gathered, a hint of disappointment in her voice.

“I didn’t see the relevance,” Luka answered defensively. “I didn’t think it mattered, and I didn’t want to make things awkward between you two.”

“What’s going on?” Adrien tentatively broke in. “What didn’t Luka tell me?”

Luka shot Marinette a warning look, but the word came out as a plea: “Don’t.”

Marinette rolled her eyes, confessing, “I’m the ex-girlfriend.”

Luka slumped against the doorjamb, cringing.

“There’s no reason to keep it a secret from him,” Marinette insisted with a twinge of exasperation.

Logically, Luka knew this, but…

“Wait.” Adrien spoke up again, whipping his head back and forth to take them both in. “You two were…”

Adrien’s brain crashed as he thought back to all of the objects he’d sorted through when he’d cleaned up the apartment: the books, CDs, DVDs, notebooks, articles of clothing…

Adrien had known that Luka and Marinette had dated and broken up several times over the years, but…knowing that Marinette had been the cause of Luka’s suffering this time gave the whole situation a new aspect.

Luka had said that his ex was in love with someone else, and, now, Adrien wanted to shake Marinette and demand whom she was in love with and how she could let someone like Luka go for anyone else.

“Sorry.” Marinette’s voice broke into Adrien’s thoughts. “I’m sorry for coming. I just wanted to check on Plagg and return some things. I know you said you didn’t think you’d be ready to see me for a few weeks at least, but…I found some things I thought you’d like to have back before then, and I was concerned about Plagg.”

Marinette ducked out into the hall and grabbed the two bulging trash bags she’d left sitting beside the door. She then produced an apartment key and handed it to Adrien. “Sorry about all this.”

Adrien shook his head. “No. I…I’m sorry. I didn’t—”

With a tired smile, she pulled him into a quick hug, assuring, “Don’t worry about it.”

She pulled back, taking his hands in hers and giving them a squeeze. “My phone number’s the same, and my trapdoor is always open for you, if you want to come over and hang out. My parents would be ecstatic to see you too, if you wanted to drop by. We’re still at the bakery.”

“I’d really like that,” Adrien admitted, getting choked up all over again at the thought that there was someplace where he’d be welcomed with wide-open arms. “Talk soon?”

She nodded enthusiastically. “As soon as you want.”

He squeezed her hands back as he leaned in to place air kisses to the sides of her cheeks. “See you, Buguinette.”

“See you, Chaton,” she replied, voice full of warmth.

Then, with a hopelessly forlorn wave to Luka, Marinette slipped out of the flat.

Biting his lip, Adrien turned to face Luka, and the apologies quickly began to tumble out.

“I’m so sorry. I had no idea,” Adrien stressed. “I never would have let her in if I had known.”

Luka blinked, startled at Adrien’s reaction. “You’re not mad at me?”

Adrien’s head quirked to the side. “Why would I be mad at you?”

Shaking his head, Luka crossed the living room to take a seat on the couch, careful of Adrien’s laptop. “I don’t know. I kept a secret from you just like everyone else you trusted who let you down?”

Adrien winced as he too sat on the couch. “Okay, but it wasn’t really any of my business, so…”

“You’re still really good at making excuses for people who don’t deserve it,” Luka sighed, tipping his head to rest against the back of the couch.

Adrien shrugged. “It’s a defence mechanism. It’s better than feeling bitter and betrayed all the time.”

Luka took a long, steady inhale. “We need to get you some therapy.”

“I’ll go if you go,” Adrien bartered.

Luka looked to the side at Adrien. “You want me to go to therapy?”

Adrien nodded. “For your drinking problem and self-worth issues and martyr syndrome.”

A slow smile spread across Luka’s lips. “…You are mad at me.”

Adrien shrugged again, trying to maintain apathy because it was easier than dealing with the complex mess of what he was actually feeling.

“No.”

He tried to hold onto the fiction that the whole incident was his fault, but it slipped through his grasp like a fish.

“Why didn’t you tell me Marinette was your ex?”

Luka forced himself to meet the wounded accusation flickering like flames in Adrien’s eyes.

“Because it hurt,” Luka answered as honestly as he could. “It’s still too painful to talk or even think about. …You know what that’s like, don’t you?”

Adrien flinched as his own hurt instantly vanished. He moved the laptop and the plate of pastries out of the way to scoot in close to Luka so Adrien could wrap his arms around him.

“Besides,” Luka whispered as Adrien pulled Luka into his chest. “I didn’t want to mess up your relationship with her. I didn’t want you to think you couldn’t be friends with her because she’s my ex and you’re afraid of ending up on the street again if you upset me or something. I know you had feelings for her in the past too, so…I didn’t want to make things complicated.”

“Oh, Luka,” Adrien sighed as he nuzzled Luka’s hair. “…I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For…I don’t know. Existing?” Adrien laughed mirthlessly.

“Don’t be,” Luka stressed as he drew back and sat up. “You’re one of the good things about this universe.”

That assertion got a startled chuckle out of Adrien.

“…Please don’t feel like you can’t be friends with Marinette now.” Luka got them back on topic. “I really don’t want to mess things up between you two. You can have her over. It’s not a problem.”

Adrien rolled his eyes and gave his head a disbelieving shake. “Luka, it is so a problem. I’m not going to invite the woman you’re still a mess because of into your private space. You’ve been emphasizing to me how this is my home and how you want me to feel safe and comfortable here, but what about you?”

Luka’s brow creased infinitesimally. “Me?”

“This is your home too,” Adrien explained. “You should feel safe and comfortable here. Marinette and I will just hang out at her house or some other place.”

Luka pursed his lips, already beginning to feel uncomfortable at the prospect of Adrien and Marinette spending time alone together.

“Maybe…Maybe in a week or two you could start having her over,” Luka suggested.

Adrien arched a suspicious eyebrow.

“I have to get used to being around her again sometime. I do want to stay friends with her once I can stand to see her without feeling like there’s a gaping wound in my chest,” Luka explained.

Plus, Luka knew he’d feel better if he could keep tabs on Marinette and Adrien so that Luka would know when the dreaded event had occurred. He wanted to know as soon as it was certain that he had lost Adrien and Marinette to one another.

Adrien was skeptical about having Marinette over to the flat, but he didn’t argue. “Okay. If you think you’ll be okay, but I don’t want you pushing yourself, all right?”

Luka waved away Adrien’s concern. “Don’t worry, Adrien. I promise it’s fine. And…”

Luka took a deep breath.

“Listen. If you and Marinette decide you want to see each other romantically…”

Adrien stared at his roommate, trying to figure out what Luka actually meant because the words Adrien thought he was hearing made no sense.

Luka sighed, shaking his head. “I’m not saying it won’t hurt, but I’ll get over it because I want you two to be happy more than anything, so if you two decide that that’s what you want, you have my blessing.”

Adrien kept staring for nearly fifteen seconds before he demanded, “Why are you like this?”

Luka’s head slowly tipped to the side. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, why the hell do you think I’d be heartless enough to steal the woman you love from you?” Adrien huffed.

“Adrien, it’s not like that,” Luka tried to explain. “She loves you, and I know how much you loved her in the past, so if you two decide—”

Adrien clamped a hand over Luka’s mouth, physically stopping the flow of idiocy.

“Shut up,” he whispered, voice tinged with hurt. “I’ll have to consult Nino for the final verdict, but I’m pretty sure that’s against the bro code. Now, I’m going to try to repair my friendship with Marinette because she’s someone who’s very important to me, but I have no intention of pursuing anything romantic with her. At least not now or any time in the near future.”

Luka kept quiet, but he thought to himself that the heart didn’t always cooperate. He doubted that Adrien could stop himself from falling for Marinette again just like Luka hadn’t been able to keep his own feelings for Adrien in check.

“Maybe several years down the road something will happen, but that will only be if you’re completely over her and happy with someone else. I’m not a home-wrecker,” Adrien informed hotly, removing his hand from Luka’s mouth. “Okay?”

Luka smiled wanly. “Rarely do we get a choice when it comes to our feelings, especially when that feeling is love, but I appreciate your commitment to the bro code.”

Adrien gave his head a defiant toss. “I may not be able to control my feelings, but I can control my actions.”

Luka’s eyes widened.

“Besides,” Adrien continued, the heat coming out of his voice. “I’m not in any shape to be pursuing a romantic relationship at the moment. I’ve got a lot of healing to do before I think that would be a good idea.”

Slowly, Luka began to nod. “…You constantly amaze me with how mature and wise you’ve gotten.”

Adrien stuck out his tongue. “I needed an adult a lot of times over the past four years, so I became my own adult.”

Luka grimaced. “Have I told you lately how proud I am of you?”

A genuine smile started to peek out onto Adrien’s lips.

He gave Luka’s hair a playful tussle, replying, “Right back at you. Now get up and let me feed you. It’s time to eat.”

Luka made a show of grumbling and groaning, but he allowed himself to be extracted from the couch and towed to the kitchen.

“What time is it even?”

“A little after three-thirty,” Adrien responded as he headed over to the fridge to get out the potato leek soup Luka had been asking about.

Luka moaned miserably, dropping his head to the countertop. “I have to go to family dinner tonight, and I’m dreading it.”

“Don’t go,” Adrien suggested as if it were that simple.

“Then Juleka will think I’ve been drinking,” Luka mumbled into the granite of the counter.

“You could tell her something came up and you had to stay home with me,” Adrien suggested.

Luka lifted his head. “…Isn’t the fact that you’re back in Paris a secret?”

Adrien shrugged, scooping out some of the soup into two bowls to microwave. “Now that Nino and Marinette know where I am, it kind of takes the pressure off. It’s okay if you tell your family. Say that I’m having a bad day and I need you to watch Disney movies and snuggle with me.”

Luka bit the inside of his cheek. “I’m not very good at lying, and I don’t exactly like the idea of trying to deceive my family. I’d better just go and bite the bullet.”

“If you like, I could go with you,” Adrien offered as he placed the bowls into the microwave. “If you think your family would be okay with it, I mean. I could take some of the spotlight off you and distract them with how I was homeless until you rescued me. Maybe seeing what a mess I am will make you look better by comparison.”

Luka’s forehead crinkled up. “You don’t like talking about all that, though, and Rose and Maman will have lots of questions.”

Adrien shrugged again, putting on a brave smile. “It’s okay. It’s probably not going to be easy, but I’ll do it.”

“You don’t have to,” Luka stressed.

“I want to,” Adrien countered with determination, and then his voice softened, filling with gratitude and tenderness. “You went and faced Marinette to get Plagg back for me. If you can do that, I can spend one night distracting your family so they maybe don’t notice how hungover you are.”

“Adrien,” Luka whispered, profoundly moved by Adrien’s willingness to face an uncomfortable situation for Luka’s sake.

Adrien cocked his head to the side. “Hm?”

Luka swallowed and shook his head. “Nothing. You’re just… You’re really amazing.”

Adrien beamed, shooting Luka a patented wink. “That’s why they pay me the big bucks.”

Luka’s stomach flipped, and his heart fluttered.

Suddenly, he was sure that Adrien was going to be the death of him because there was no longer a doubt that Luka loved this astounding human being.

[juminhanswife48]

Jumin X MC: Night spent alone

Jumin sat at the table alone, lazily sipping out of a glass of wine he had poured himself. His teeth clinked up against the glass, the wine slowly falling back into the bottom cup as he placed the glass cup down. With every sip it was a spicy, heavy toll that rolled down his throat.

He could feel that he was slowly losing her. His anxieties were beginning to pile up; he felt the same insecurities that he had felt in the beginning of the relationship. The constant fear of losing her, and not knowing wether she was in love with him or just enabling his behaviors.

He looked at the clock in the kitchen and read the time. 9:39 PM. She was 2 hours and 39 minutes late to eat dinner with him. No calls, no texts, no warning about coming home late. Nothing. He picked up his phone then swiped it open. He went straight to the messenger app, then saw who was active. Only Yoosung and Seven.

He knew they couldn’t help in the situation, they would probably just make him feel worse. He wanted to talk to V, but he hadn’t been active in a week. Probably on a trip.

He quickly dialed MC’s number, then put the phone to his ear. He stared down at the cup in front of him, his head was pounding as a result of the amount of wine he had drank. “Whe...Where are you, MC?” He slurred the second the phone ringing stopped.

“Hi honey I’m gonna be home soon I’m-”

“MC,” He swallowed his spit then rubbed his eyes. “Come home.”

He furrowed his brows then began to feel tears forming in his eyes. Jumin could hear loud music and girls joyfully screaming in the background of the call. “Are you drunk, Jumin?”

“Hurry home,” he slurred. “Please.”

“I’m sorry, I’m coming home now.”

“Call Driver...uh...Kim! Call him.”

He picked up the glass then chugged the rest of the wine that was in it. Every swallow felt like lava free flowing in his throat, and although it was painful and he did not enjoy it, he couldn’t get himself to stop.

“I’m gonna get a taxi, okay?”

On the other side of the phone call he heard heels clicking, then music slowly getting lower and lower.

“Jumin, stop drinking for now.”

He looked at his empty glass. “There’s no more left.”

“I love you, please be safe for another 30 minutes.”

“Uh-huh.” Jumin smiled to himself. His black hair messily hung over his forehead.

“Bye.” MC said.

Jumin took the phone out of his hand, then placed it on the table. He looked around the penthouse. What a privilege to live here with MC. He was so lonely before, just empty spaces and sound filled the house. MC came into his life and completely shifted it. He was so happy with her.

He drunkenly dragged his feet to the couch, then laid down and closed his eyes.

___________

MC opened the glass door to the penthouse, turning around and giving a shy smile to the security guards that greeted her.

“Have a good night!” She cheerfully waved.

“You too, Mrs. Han.”

MC turned back to the penthouse and was greeted by an oppressive dark cloud that leaked from inside the house. It wasn’t like the nights that she had come back to before; there was a different energy that radiated through the darkness. She pushed the door behind her, lightly allowing it to close itself. The small click echoed through the penthouse.

“Jumin?” She called out as she placed her bag on the floor. She dug through her bag and grabbed her phone, a message from the RFA messenger lit up the screen.

ZEN: Thanks for the drinks tonight!

Yoosung★: Yup~ I’ll pay you back one day^^

Jaehee Kang: Yes, thank you MC.

MC smiled then began to kick her heels off.

‘No problem guys,’ MC quickly typed. ‘We always have tons of fun together’

MC gently placed her shoes in the corner of the doorway then shoved her phone back in her bag. It wasn’t like Jumin, to not be there at the doorway hugging her tightly while kissing her forehead and asking her how her night out went.

“Jumin?” MC called out as she walked around the dark penthouse. The only light was coming from the windows, but even then being late at night, there was little light visible. “Honey?” MC called out. She checked in the bedroom, then the kitchen. She found nothing. “Jumin?” MC called out as she walked around the dark penthouse.

She finally reach the living room, there Jumin laid sprawled across the sofa, a soft moonlight appearing on his body. Bottles of wine surrounding him. His hair was a tangeled mess in his face.

“Oh my god,” MC said as she rushed towards him. He was

She put her hands on his chest, then moved them up to his cheeks. “Jumin, what happened?”

“Hey,” MC softly whispered as she poked Jumin’s arm. She croutched next to the couch, where he laid in a fetal position. He was still in his work clothes, the first two buttons of his shirt undone with his black slacks still on. He reeked of wine, which made MC feel guilty. He was a heavyweight drinker, so she felt especially guilty when she realized he gotten this wasted as a result of her.

“Jumin” MC poked his arm again. He let out a soft snore, then his eyes opened wide. His eyes were droopy and set staring into hers, while his body barely hoisted itself up without the support of the arm of the couch. A sigh of relief left his mouth when he realized that she had come back.

“Come on,” MC grabbed his hands. They were cold and clammy. “Let’s go to bed.”

Jumin looked up at her, then used her hands as support as he sat up on the couch.

“Come on,” MC grunted. “You gotta help me. You’re heavy.”

“Aha...sorry.” He smugly giggled.

She walked with him into their bedroom, tumbling over each other’s feet occasionally. She moved his arms off from her side, then gently sat him down on the bed. He was still in his suit from the day before, tie and all.

“Jumin, don’t you want to get into comfy clothes?”

He looked into her eyes, then blanky nodded.

“I get so scared,” He said softly as he moved his face closer to MC’s chest.

“Of what?” She began to undo his tie, trying to work with his limp upper body which was falling into hers.

“I get scared of you going out one night and never speaking to me again.” He slurred.

MC rubbed his cheek with her thumb, caressing every tiny bump that stood on his skin.

“You know I’d never do that.”

“A guy could try something.”

His speech was so slurred, almost unable to be understood. MC knew there wouldn’t be any use in trying to argue with a drunk man, so she took her hand from off his face then embraced him.

“I love you.” She whispered.

“Me too.”

MC looked down, his face was buried into her chest, creating a warmth in between them.

“Come on, let’s go to sleep.” MC softly said as she moved him to lay down on the bed.

[hufflepuffhollander]

apocalypse: tom holland series pt. 3 (finale)

a/n | this is the final part of the apocalypse series (sad face)! i felt it was a strong way to end the story without dragging it out. i definitely got a lil teary eyed writing this so brace urselves! (& thank you to all of the readers who stuck w me through this trilogy, u are greatly appreciated).🤍

summary | a toxic storm that has wiped out most of the world’s population has you taking shelter and fighting for survival with an unexpected ally.

cw | language, a tiny argument, lots of panic, fluff, and truly poetic smut. you’re welcome.

Read Part 2, join the taglist :)

The toxic fog enveloping your car seemed to have a personality; to be alive. It clawed its way up your windshield and clung to the side mirrors, threatening to seep in and join your quest for refuge. It whispered to you as you drove, Tom fast asleep in the seat next to you. Any time the fog started to get under your skin, you could just look over at your sleepy passenger and take a sigh of relief knowing that you weren’t alone; and you had a pretty good feeling that, no matter how much further the world sank into apocalyptic ruin, you would never have to face it alone again.

Driving far down a nameless road on your way to find Tom’s brothers, you heard a distinct grumble come from the sky, a noise you’d been able to go the last two days without hearing. Another low, loud clap of thunder made you yelp, waking Tom up. The sky started to look darker, more menacing...and your heart rate started to skyrocket.

Tom rubbed his eyes and yawned. “Hey, love, what is it?”

“Tom, I think the rain is coming again,” you said shakily, brain too focused on scoping out what neighborhoods were closest to find shelter in. There was no way in hell you would risk bracing the storm in a car.

“Are you sure?”

“Just look outside.”

That finally woke him up, as his eyes went a little wider looking at the state of the sky above you.

“We need to find somewhere to stop,” he murmured, taking the map off the dashboard and turning it every which way, trying to orient himself. “I think there’s a town a few miles north of here- take your next left and follow the road, and hopefully we’ll see some houses.”

The clouds grew larger and more threatening as the seconds passed, your speedometer not able to keep up with your pulse.

“How much further?”

“Just another mile or so,” Tom said, strangely calm.

As he spoke, it was as if someone had thrown a black curtain over the planet, and you had to turn your brights on just to see in front of you.

“Tom, we're running out of time,” you felt your whole body go cold, the warmth of his hand suddenly placed on your arm putting your body in a sort of shock.

“We’ll make it, y/n,” he said, his voice faltering. You saw houses start to appear behind the mist.

“I’m just going to pull into one of the closest ones,” you decided out loud. Tom grumbled in disagreement.

“I think we should drive a little further to the bigger houses up ahead, they’re more likely to have generators.”

You shot him a look of disapproval. “Why would we stay on the road any longer than we have to? I’m pulling over here-”

He spoke harshly. “y/n, do not stop driving.”

You started to panic more as you saw lightning not too far ahead. “Tom, this is absolutely idiotic.” 

“We need to give ourselves the best chance of survival.”

“By driving right into the rain?!” Against your best wishes, you pressed the gas pedal into the floor and continued to move forward.

Once the larger houses started to come into focus, you heard light patters start to hit the metal roof of the van. Tom looked up at the car ceiling, a string of expletives leaving his lips.

“Fuck. Fuck. Tom, it’s raining!” you yelled, gripping the wheel tightly enough so that all of the blood had drained from your hands.

“Just keep driving!”

“We’re going to fucking die!” You made an executive decision to careen into the empty driveway of a nondescript house, but the garage door was closed. “How the hell do you expect us to make it inside now, genius?”

He swallowed hard and looked around frantically. “It hasn’t picked up yet. We can make a break for it...but it has to be now.”

You felt the fear palpably pinpricking your eyes. “Tom, what the hell were you thinking-”

He reached in the back and grabbed his coat, wrapping it around you in your seat, ignoring your comment. “I’m going first so I can knock down the door if it’s locked. Don’t waste any time and run the moment you see it open.”

You didn’t have time to reply before he tossed his hood up over his head, threw open the door, and jumped out of the car, running straight into the rain.

“Tom!” 

You were scared out of your mind watching him sprint to the porch of the house. Right as he made it, he cried out in pain, clutching his arm close to his chest. But he kicked the door in and stumbled inside, falling over the threshold. You felt stiff, frozen, going insane with worry and fear- but if you waited any longer, you knew you wouldn’t make it. You flung open the door, running as fast as you ever had to the porch, Tom’s coat protecting you from the few drops that fell to the ground. Seemingly, right as you were under the cover of the roof, the sky opened up, and once again the world was engulfed in torrential tar.

You slammed the front door shut behind you and fell down to your knees when you saw Tom curled into a ball on the floor. You tried to turn him over as you let a panic attack get the better of you. “Oh my god, Tom, please be okay, are you with me? Tom?!” You could barely see him through the thick tears streaming down your face. After the longest minute of your life he slowly groaned and opened his eyes, seeing you but closing them again as he winced in pain. His arm was still tucked tight into his body.

“Love, I- I got...b-burned,” His face was scrunched and pale as he let his arm fall to the floor, and you saw the atrocity that was at least a two inch circle of burned flesh painted bright red on his forearm.

“Oh god, fuck, Tom, what do I do?” your voice cracked as you continued to cry, completely stuck in place.

His breathing became choppier and his eyes fluttered open and shut again. “I don’t- I don’t know...”

“Baby, don’t leave me,” you lowered your head to his and sobbed, holding onto his shoulders for dear life. “Please be okay. God, please don’t leave me.”

Truthfully, you had no idea if this was all it took to kill a person. You couldn’t think straight as you heard the love of your life whimpering, his body vibrating softly as he fell into some kind of paralyzed sleep.

You stood up as your body went into hyperdrive, running through the house and looking around for something, anything that might help. In the master bathroom you found alcohol, antibiotic ointment and bandages, and thanked whatever was up there beyond the rain as you rushed back to Tom, still lying on the foyer floor. He was unresponsive.

“Stay with me, Tommy, come on,” you untwisted the bottle of isopropyl. “This might hurt a bit, sweetheart,” you whispered as you poured it out over his wound.

That jolted his system awake and he cried out as it sloshed around the exposed burn. By some type of miracle, the acid clinging to his skin seemed to disperse as the alcohol flushed it out, washing into a sizzling pile on the floor. Tom’s entire body relaxed suddenly, and he took a long, jagged exhale. Careful not to touch the burn, you squeezed the ointment across his arm and wrapped it up in the long bandage you’d found. Tom opened his eyes again, found your worried stare, and his eyes filled with tears of relief.

“Thank-...thank you.” His eyes shut again.

“Tom...” you whispered, putting a hand up to cup his cheek, one of your tears falling onto his forehead, making him flinch. “Are you okay?”

His chest rose and fell a few times, bringing you some semblance of comfort. “I’ll be alright, darling,” he said quietly, resting his own hand over yours. He was eventually able to meet your gaze and sat up slowly, ignoring the pain and moving to cradle you with his good arm. Somehow, it was the tightest, most loving embrace he’d ever held you in.

You wept into his chest as he kissed your forehead. “Love, please don’t cry.”

You brought your face up to his and kissed him desperately, body still shaking. “Tom-”

“What, darling?”

“I- I love you s-so much.”

“I love you too, y/n. I love you too.” He nuzzled your nose up with his own so he could bring his lips to yours again, the taste of him mixing with the salty tears clinging to your face. “Thank you for saving my life.”

You spoke quietly as if the rain would hear you. “I was so scared...I thought you were- I thought you left me.”

“I could never, sweetheart.”

Tom tried to lift up his hurt arm and frowned. “I feel like my body is made of lead.”

“We should get you some rest,” you said, standing to help him up. “There’s a big, comfy looking bed in the master bedroom.” You shined your flashlight around the hallway until you found a candle, and took the matchbook from your pocket to light it. The house was only growing darker, and you knew that soon you wouldn’t be able to see. Supporting his weight as you walked to the bedroom, Tom finally collapsed into the blankets with a contented sigh.

“I’ll go look for some food-”

“Baby, don’t go anywhere.”

You looked at him quizzically, and he motioned for you to come lie with him. “I want to just stare at your beautiful face for a while, is that alright?”

You smiled and crawled in next to him, wrapping the thick comforter around you both and cozying up in his chest. You took a deep inhale to revel in his comforting smell, and he kissed your forehead over and over again, tickling your face. You giggled into him, and he let out a small, breathy laugh.

“That’s what I wanted to hear.”

You brought your face to his to kiss him tenderly, and you rested your hand in the crook of his neck as you fell into a slow rhythm. You didn’t think you could be any happier in that moment, just to have him back, completely tuning out the downpour coming from outside. You pulled back to look into his eyes backlit by the candle.

“How is your arm?”

“Feels much better now, thanks to you,” he said, moving it slowly back and forth, getting used to the discomfort. “But let’s not worry about me, darling. I want to focus on you.”

You raised an eyebrow at him as you heard his tone change. “What are you talking about?”

“I believe I owe you something,” he said, moving to place his mouth right under your jawbone, giving you chills. “You did save me, y’know. You deserve to be properly thanked.”

He moved to support himself with his good arm and lightly rested his bandaged one on your waist, continuing to leave a trail of kisses down your neck.

“Tom, what are you doing? You need to take it easy-”

He shut you up with a hard kiss to the lips, and started to tug down at the neckline of your t-shirt. 

“No, love, what I need right now is you.”

He used his body weight to push you flat against the pillows, moving on top of you and pressing his lips further and deeper into your skin, now wriggling your shirt up and over your head. You started to giggle again, unsure of how to process it. Tom lifted his head up from kissing your belly button to look at you inquisitively. “What?”

“Aren’t you tired?” you whispered, fingers running through his curls.

“My veins are pumping with adrenaline right now, darling, and you have no idea how long I’ve wanted you.”

You tugged at the shoulder of his hoodie to bring him back up to your face, kissing him again and sucking his bottom lip lightly between your teeth, starting to feel the heat rush up through you too. He sat up on his knees and took off his sweatshirt and tee underneath in one fell swoop, his injured arm seeming to be the furthest thing from his mind right now. You couldn’t make out most details in the candlelight, but were able to see the love and lust swirling together in his eyes in some mesmerizing way. Placing your hands delicately on his lower back, you smoothed them over his skin all the way up to his shoulderblades and loved feeling him shiver underneath you. He pulled away from your liplock to stare into your eyes, and you pushed the pads of your fingers a little harder into his back, whispering. “Why did you wait so long, then?”

He rested his forehead on top of yours and smiled through his words. “I guess I was too busy falling in love with you in the dark.”

You had never seen Tom this way, hungrily nipping your skin and letting his hands explore your body as if they’d never experienced touch until this very moment. He left hot paths of kisses and bites across your neck and chest, all the while relentlessly grinding his hips into yours, which you encouraged with your own bucks upward. Eventually, you had your legs wrapped around his bare body, and he gave you the slowest, deepest kiss humanly possible as he eased himself inside of you, both of you shuddering at the feeling.

“Tom-” you inhaled sharply and would’ve done absolutely anything to have all of him just then, rolling your body upwards into his. His ragged breaths were drowned out by the sound of the violent rain falling above you, but you had become an expert at hearing his voice through the noise. 

“I’m so...fucking...in love with you.”

He continued to slowly push into you, his body shaking underneath your grip more and more with every bit further he felt himself go, lapping at your mouth with his own. He refused to break eye contact, and his glossy stare sent you reeling, only able to breathlessly speak a few words back.

“Show me.”

Your toes curled, you aimlessly pawed at his back. He sent waves of ecstasy coursing through you, the shadows of your bodies intertwined flickering onto the walls. He fucked you slow and hard, with every thrust sputtering out sweet nothings into your ear. Every twitch and flex of muscle you felt through his skin just made you fall deeper into a state of bliss, and you swore you had never felt a love like this before.

Through lofted breaths, Tom moaned in time with you rhythmically gasping out his name. He was littering your neck with bruises, you were carving scratch marks into his back; and you pushed each other over the edge at the same time, sealing in your bond as apocalyptic soulmates. 

He had collapsed next to you, his heart still in full sprint as he pulled your tired, loved-up body into his own, nudging his face into your hair and rubbing aimless circles on your arm with his thumb. The candle was dwindling and the storm raged on, providing an almost soothing white noise throughout the still room, only accompanied by the sound of you existing with one another. You fell into a deep sleep for countless hours, only waking up because Tom was standing over the bed, shaking you.

“Wh- what?”

“y/n, you have to come see this,” he said, hand still clasped around your wrist before you’d even wriggled out of the blankets.

He guided you by flashlight to what you assumed was an office, and you were shellshocked as you stood in front a computer screen, bright with power.

“I found a generator.” Tom smiled brightly, waiting for you to put the pieces together.

“So...there’s power?”

“Babe, there’s connection. My brothers have been sending me messages for weeks.”

Your jaw fell open as you looked at the monitor, sure enough alight with internet, a phenomenon of the past. “Your brothers, they’re... alive?!” You couldn’t find the words as you saw Tom shed a few joyful tears, the two of you hugging and jumping around like excited toddlers.

“We can talk to them, y/n. My family is still out there waiting for us, and in the next wave of light, we’ll be able to find them,” he said through cracks in his voice, happier than you could ever remember him being.

“I’m so happy for you, Tommy,” you kissed his cheek, but didn’t convince him as he could hear the sadness hiding in your voice. He knew you were thinking about your own family, and how you knew you’d never see them again.

“Love, listen to me,” he kneeled down in front of you and you followed suit so you were both sitting on the fluffy rug of the office. “I know you’ve lost so much. But you found me, we survived. And we’ll keep surviving—we don’t have another choice.” You sighed and nodded. “I know.”

“And it’s not the same, I know, but...you have a family now, with me, with us. We can rebuild together, darling. Fuck the storm. No matter what it throws at us, we have each other to help us through it.”

You reached for his soft hand, melting under his sweet ramblings. “...I know.”

“I never thought it would take the world ending to find you,” he said, lacing his fingers between yours. “but I did, and I’ll be forever thankful for that. We’ll be alright now, sweetheart. I’ll live the rest of my life to keep you safe.”

You gave him a knowing nod and sat in silence in the dark of a room that wasn’t yours, listening to the world unravel on the other side of the wall. Your chest flurrying with a mix of hope and heartache, you resolved yourself to understand that this was living now, that you would have to adapt to this new normal. You were petrified of what the future held, but seeing the boy sitting across from you, holding your hand and your heart in his steady gaze, helped you to breathe through the fear. 

The rain had taken everything from you—but it had given you your everything, too.

[scapegrace74-blog]

Lie Alone

A/N  In commenting on the last installment in the Metric universe, I said that Jamie’s date with Claire was complete dating wish fulfillment on my part.  Which got me thinking about their next date and what other personal preferences I could cram into this story.  And yet it’s definitely Claire’s turn to take Jamie for a spin, which meant that... well, you’ll see!

All other parts of the Metric Universe are available on my AO3 page.

The song by Blanco White (another guest artist!) that inspired the title and which features in the fic can be heard here: https://youtu.be/SNp7sb5vXTs

Big shout out to @holdhertightandsayhername, who introduced me to this artist in her marvelous fic The Sands of Time.  

June 21, 2018, London, England

Sassench:  Do you have plans later Fraser?

Wee Fox Cub:  depends r u making a better pffer?

Sassench: Meet me out front at Joe’s.  5pm.

Wee Fox Cub: :thumbs up emoji:

Sassench:  And Jamie?  Wear something tight.  Preferably leather.

Wee Fox Cub:  ...

***

He couldn’t imagine what Claire had in mind, but he’d cancelled his plans to watch the England South Africa test match with the lads and was instead haunting the kerb in front of her temporary lodging, wearing fitted black jeans and his leather jacket, despite the sunny mid-summer weather.  When his date hadn’t emerged from the building by 4:05, he pulled out his phone.  An approaching mechanical thrum interrupted him mid-text.

The first thing he noticed were her boots: black, with a thick rubber sole and chunky heel.  These were zipped over leather pants that clung to her coltish legs like a second skin, matching the matte gleam of the motor between them.  A leather jacket, the tailored twin of his own, hugged her narrow waist.  By the time his eyes had scrolled upward, a visored helmet was being removed, and Claire’s familiar hair and teasing brass eyes appeared.

“You’re staring, Jamie,” she remarked.  The fact that the voice was his roommate’s usual no-nonsense tone, seasoned with a touch of humour, was a necessary dash of reality.  

“Aye,” he admitted.  “Tis a verra beautiful... machine ye’re ridin’, Sassenach.  Is it yers?”

Her curls danced in the sunlight as she shook them out.

“God, no.  Joe only let me borrow it after I promised to cover his next two on-call shifts.  But don’t worry!  I practically grew up on a motorcycle.  I’ve had my license since I was sixteen.”

He filed this information away in the cluttered part of brain entitled Things I Never Expected to Learn about Claire Beauchamp. Accepting a second helmet, he swung himself onto the seat behind her.  His legs bracketed her hips in an unfamiliar, but by no means unpleasant, inversion.  Claire revved the motor, sending a shiver up his spine.  His arms wrapped around her waist, and they pulled into the slow flow of traffic.

“Comfy?”  Her voice startled him, low and intimate, coming from directly behind his ear.   He realized belatedly that the helmets were furnished with a communications system.

“Aye,” he asserted, although comfortable wasn’t exactly the word he’d use for his current state.  Somewhere between apprehensive and exhilarated would be more accurate.  “Will we make it tae our destination afore sundown, do ye think?”

She chuckled warmly, reaching back with one hand to tap him on the knee.

“Never you fear, my lad.  I have our urban escape route all planned out.  We’ll be flying in no time.”

She wasn’t wrong.  After a series of abrupt stops and starts, they dipped below the Thames in a well-lit tunnel, the echo of passing lorries muting all other sound.  Soon after that they were picking up speed on a wide motorway, the bike crouching against the wind.  He watched the throbbing mass of the city peel away, slowly giving way to greenery and the pastel light he associated with freedom.  He thought they were heading south along the Orbital into Surrey, but beyond that he had no notion of their whereabouts.  

Giving himself up into her care, he settled against Claire’s back, the crescent of her arse fitting neatly into the bowl of his thighs.  He was aware of being aroused, but it was a hazy rather than a sharp feeling, blunted by contentment.  If Claire was offended by the firmness pressing into her rump, she gave no sign.

After several hours of almost meditative motion, they turned onto a country lane, overhung by a leafy canopy.  Tidy Tudor buildings overlooked the road, their leaden windows glowing orange in the setting sun.   Their motorcycle joined a parade of vehicles ascending a low hill in a series of sharp turns.  Each time the bike navigated one of these, he was forced to tighten his grip on Claire’s torso, which by now felt like an extension of his own body.  He glowed like one of those panes of glass, molten and reflecting back the warmth that radiated from the core of who she was.  

The forest thinned into green hillside as they reached a parking lot.  He couldn’t help but feel disappointment as he observed the crowds.  Wherever they were, it was obviously a popular destination.  On the bike, he’d felt peculiarly isolated, alone with Claire, their conversation eased by the intermediary of the microphones.  Now he’d have to share her with the world.

He groaned as he unfolded his long legs to stand upright, and Claire grinned.

“They don’t make motorcycles in your size, I’m afraid.”

“An’ wha’ size is that, Sassenach?” he hummed suggestively while stretching his arms high above his head, untucking his shirt in the process.

Claire’s eyes dipped to where his belly was briefly exposed, then lower.

“Large,” was her bold answer, and he shot her a wickedly pleased glance.

After a beat she visibly gathered herself, reaching into the storage compartment behind where he had been sitting and pulling out a small bag and his plaid, which had somehow stayed in her possession after the fire.

“Are you up for a short hike?”

“For ye, Sassenach, anything.”

They meandered through an oak wood, then up a series of crude steps, until finally arriving on a grassy slope, the land falling away steeply to the south.  Low ridges and shallow valleys furled below them like gentle waves, reaching out to the horizon where the sun was preparing to set.  The air was fragrant, the ground releasing the heat of the day.

“One of my many boarding schools wasn’t far from here,” Claire explained as she spread the blanket near their feet.  “I must have been fourteen or so, and having a terrible time fitting in.  Uncle Lamb came to visit, probably at the headmaster’s behest, and this is where he took me.  I don’t remember what he said, but by the time we left, I felt better.  More at peace.  In lockstep with the larger order of things.   I’ve come back, now and then.  Any time I needed to find that feeling again.”

As she spoke, Claire emptied the small bag of its contents.  He recognized the logo from a deli they both frequented on two wrapped sandwiches, along with a pint of strawberries, some crisps, a lemonade and a bottle of his favourite summer ale.  She’d thought of everything, and it snagged at his heart.

“Tis bonnie.  I’m honoured ye wanted tae share it with me, Sassenach.”

They ate slowly, savouring the simple meal as the sky above their heads smudged from orange to pink to ever-deepening shades of purple.  One by one, the stars twinkled to life, like so many travelers lighting their fires for the night.  Away from the city, they numbered in the thousands, each a signpost on someone’s journey.  His mind spread out to fill the space between them, taking his thoughts to Lallybroch, moments from his youth long forgotten, the steadying hand of his parent’s guidance.  Claire was right.  Something about the place invited serenity.  He sighed with pleasure, tension he hadn’t even acknowledged draining slowly down his spine.

Claire’s hand crept across the blanket, and their pinkie fingers met, then overlapped.  As the air around them cooled, the breeze picked up, and he felt her shiver.

“Ye’re cold.  We should be on our way, aye?”

“Wait.  There’s one more thing I want you to see.”

He could think of several more things he wanted to see, but they were well hidden by leather and her guarded nature.  He’d known when he proposed this season of courtship that the road to Claire’s heart would be long and arduous, with many twists and lay-bys.  There could be no rushing the voyage.  He was confident the destination, should he be granted entry, would be worth any hardship.  And thankfully the views along the way were spectacular in their own right.

He’d been watching her profile out of the corner of his eye when the horizon burst into multi-coloured song.  Purple starbursts and red streamers exploded across a black canvas, followed by a pulsing yellow orb.  In the milliseconds before his consciousness caught up with the evidence, he was captivated.  Then he physically recoiled, expecting pain in the form of a cascade of memories.  Instead, the symphony of light continued without a sound.  He looked at Claire in awe.

“The wind is to the north, so it’s blowing the sound in the other direction.  I checked before I picked you up,” she explained.

The fireworks continued for another ten or fifteen minutes.  He’d never be quite sure, because he was lost in sensation.  The beautiful display was completely over-shadowed by the beauty of the woman beside him, her tiny finger still laced with his own.  

“Ye ken tis I who’s supposed tae be courtin’ ye, don’t ye, Sassenach?” he commented when a final fury of light gave way once again to stars.

“Says who?” she sniffed, but he could see the corner of her mouth twitch upwards.  

After performing a mental inventory of any and all physical impediments, he leaned slowly into her side, his intention unmistakable.  His heart thrilled when Claire met him halfway, her mouth damp and tart from the lemonade.  It was a kiss that walked the boundary between chaste and sensual, and he wished it could last forever.

“Thank ye, Claire.  Truly.”

At a loss for words for once, she dipped her head in acknowledgement.  They silently gathered their things and walked hand-in-hand to the bike.

The ride back to London was swift, with music taking the place of conversation.  A particularly beautiful song, poetic and wistful, left him feeling that Claire was speaking to him through its words; words she could not yet find the courage to say.  Accompanied by only a single guitar, a male voice rose in wistful intensity.

So I lie alone, and risk each night, I long to let you in But there's a life I lost, drifted out, before You let me in.

His fingers found their way beneath her jacket and rested on the warm skin of her belly.  He felt her soft skin give a shudder, like a ripple of wind across the still surface of a pond.

The motorway ribboned out beneath them.  The journey had only just begun.

*

*

*

*

Because this is a multi-disciplinary blog, here’s a shot of the view that Jamie and Claire enjoyed in this fic, which is Box Hill in Surrey (taken from Google Earth, as I’ve never been).

And here’s Claire’s bike!

[the-wlw-cafe]

Supercorptober 2020 - Day 1: Fall

CW: Temporary character death, grief

Read it on ao3 here!

Lena watches her fall, fall, fall, and be swallowed up by the crowd that assembled on the plaza just a fraction of a second before the sound of impact reaches her ears. She elbows her way through the clamoring people, all the way to the crater she’s left in the asphalt below, and she holds her, cradles her, speaks to her in a hushed tone even after she’s stopped responding. And she stays at her side while she is lying under the yellow sun lamps, looking so small and vulnerable as if she was just resting, and she didn’t move from her side until an indeterminable amount of days later Alex’ insistent hand on her shoulder forced her outside, so they could move Kara.

Kara’s body.

Her legs carry her home, somehow. The second she enters her apartment she feels like she’s broken into a stranger’s place. She stands there, in the middle of the room, for God knows how long, staring at the gigantic comfortable sofa Kara insisted she replace her old, minimalist model with, the calendar next to the door where Kara’s encircled their date nights with red marker hearts, and all the sweet post-it notes Kara likes to leave scattered around the house whenever her Supergirl duties call her away in the early hours of morning, when not even Lena is awake yet.

Liked. Called.

And suddenly, it’s like Lena’s miles and miles underwater, the pressure in this room squeezing around her and suffocating her like an icy-wet, lead-lined blanket. She can’t breathe. She turns around on her heel and flees into the grey dusk. She doesn’t know where she’s going, spends the night in a hotel, doesn’t sleep a wink. Whenever she closes her eyes she sees Kara falling, falling, falling.

Alex doesn’t ask any questions when Lena turns up at her apartment at nine in the morning. Lena doesn’t mention the empty bottles of wine. They sit in silence for a while.

The thought of hugging Alex crosses Lena’s mind, it just seems like something she ought to do in a situation like this, to provide some thought of physical comfort. But the thought alone makes Lena nauseous, the thought of holding Alex like she held Kara’s broken body. She’s never been the hugging type anyway.

Not until she met Kara.

They have a memorial ceremony for Supergirl. It’s a grandiose thing, with millions of watchers worldwide, Cat Grant giving a moving eulogy, the unveiling of an opulent statue and a more subdued plaque on the plaza where Lena had seen her falling, falling, falling. Lena isn’t there.

Kara Danvers has a burial. Alex makes it one paragraph into her speech before her voice fails and her mother gently ushers her away with one arm around her shoulder. Lena is standing on the outskirts, feeling like an intruder as she watches Nia cry into Brainy’s shoulder, watches Kelly take Alex’ hand and hold it like an anchor chain. Just like that, the pressure is back again, the horrible crushing feeling that presses against her from the inside and the outside until she thinks she might well and truly burst if she stays here just a second longer, so she turns and –

“Nonsense, dear. You’re family too.”

It’s Eliza, regarding her with kind eyes and a not-quite-smile, and for the first time in ages Lena feels her eyes well up with tears. She doesn’t even try to hold them back. She just lets herself cry, and cry, and cry, until there’s nothing left inside, until she’s completely hollowed out. She’s too exhausted to stay awake anymore. Her sleep is dreamless.

Now that she’s started crying, she can’t seem to get herself to stop. It’s like a great dam inside her has come loose, and now she’s ready to break down sobbing at the smallest occasion. “If you need anything, anything at all, just call”, Eliza said. Still, it takes Lena half a dozen tries to work up the courage to call Kara’s friends to help her move back into her apartment. She can’t face it alone.

She doesn’t have to. Alex and Kelly are there, of course, but so are Nia and Brainy and even James, who came back for the funeral and planned to stay for a few days to support his sister. The awkwardness she feared might still exist between them is absent as they silently work together to remove all the lovely hidden notes Kara wrote, and gather up her clothes to donate like she wanted. If any of them saw Lena keeping Kara’s comfy university sweater for themselves, they don’t acknowledge it.

She forces herself to eat, tries to, at least, but in the fridge she finds the leftover takeout she’d promised Kara on that day, along with a lazy onesie-clad evening on the couch watching rom-coms. She cries into Kara’s sweater until she passes out. When she wakes up it doesn’t smell like Kara anymore.

Where previously Kara’s presence that had seeped into every pore of the apartment seemed unbearable, Lena now realizes that the opposite is just as agonizing. She wonders how she survived it before, all that loneliness in her spotless apartment devoid of any personality, furnished exactly the way she purchased it. She wonders how she will survive it now.

There are hundreds of people visiting the statue of Supergirl each day, signing their names on the plaque even though it is heavily discouraged, a thousand teary eulogies launched on every social media site in existence. Nobody gives Kara’s grave a second glance. Lena can feel herself being sheltered under this cloak of irrelevance as well, nobody spares her a passing glance as she kneels down next to the featureless marble that marks her resting place. It’s not even close to what a person as phenomenal as Kara Danvers deserves, but then again, anything more grandiose would not have been in line with what she stood for. Lena doesn’t know what to say, she doesn’t know if this is even the right place to be, or if she should instead turn to Rao, billions of light years away. Regardless, this is where she feels close to Kara, close to the gigantic, gaping hole in her chest that seems like it will never stop hurting.

It’s a sunny late summer afternoon, the kind they would have spent visiting the dog park and consuming sacrilegious amounts of ice cream, a not insubstantial amount of which would end up smeared somewhere on Kara’s face. It was an open secret that Kara was doing this intentionally, because Lena would kiss it away every time without fail. Lena can almost feel it, the sun blazing down on them as Kara snort-laughs, a dot of whipped cream dancing on her nose. Just like that, she’s crying again. It’s just about all she can do these days. There’s movement at the edge of her vision, the first, orange colored autumn leaf of many drifting into view. She watches it fall, fall, fall, before gently landing on the yellowed grass below.

They organise another game night. The words it’s what Kara would have wanted hang heavy in the air. It’s not fun in any sense of the word, the few times anyone can actually manage a genuine laugh is quickly stifled and drowned in heavy silence, as if the act itself is heresy. They all hug her goodbye, even though Kara isn’t there to pressure them into it, and Lena finds that she’s actually looking forward to their next game night, if just to spend more time in the company of her friends.

When she returns to Kara’s grave (she hates the word, hates the finality of it), it’s almost completely covered in rust-red dead leaves. The tree looming above is almost bare, a stark contrast to the deep greens of the lush foliage around it. The sight fills Lena with a feeling she doesn’t dare put a finger on.

Still, she visits again, and again, and again. She finds herself obsessively tracking the growth of the circle of dead grass that has begun to grow around Kara’s grave. By the time it reaches the willows surrounding the cemetary and they begin losing their leaves in turn, she can’t deny herself anymore.

“Something’s happening with Kara”, she says in lieu of a greeting, storming into Alex’ apartment unannounced. Please don’t think me insane. Please don’t think me as obsessed and deranged as Lex. Please, for once, listen to me. She averts her eyes, she can’t bear to see the pity in them.

There is a short period of tense silence, then: “So what do we do?”

When Kara opens her eyes three days, five hours and thirty-six minutes later, they're both at her side.

[angelicspaceprince]

Keeping Warm

Author: Ama

Title: Keeping Warm

Pairing: Zhuk/Reader

Character/s: Zhuk

Word Count: 2, 541 words

Warnings: Smut (18+ only please), cockwarming, public sex, train sex, 

Prompt: Zhuk wanted to show you all the sights and sounds of his home country of Russia, but you definitely was not expecting what he has in store for you today.

Notes: So. Yes. Ok. I may have. A small problem. And addiction. To this sorta thing. Translations for long pieces of Russian is at the bottom of the post in order of appearance. Enjoy.

Buy Me a Coffee

Keeping Warm

The fact that you were in Russia, visiting Zhuk’s home, was incredible to you. Yes, it was right before the cold snap of winter, but everything was gorgeous. Every sight, every sound, everything Zhuk had to show you was incredible. Saint Petersburg, Red Square, the City of the Dead, the Dancing Forest, even Muromtzevo Castle. Zhuk wanted to show you every part of his homeland as possible, holding you close as he zapped you to a new location each day.

Which is why it surprised you that he insisted that today you needed to take the train.

You didn’t mind, even though it was freezing and he insisted on you wearing his favourite dress that barely covered your ass rather than pants, you just thought the entire situation was….well. A little off to say the least.

The train was packed. Even before you climbed in. You turned to look at Zhuk, almost in a pleading fashion. Wouldn’t it just be easier for him to transport you there? He simply chuckles and pushes you forward, hand on the base of your back as you enter the carriage. Zhuk, somehow, managed to procure a seat for himself, having you stand up in front of him. That really should have been your first clue that something was wrong.

The train hadn’t even started moving before Zhuk grabbed the lapels of your coat and tugged you into his lap. It wasn’t an uncommon location for you to be in, in fact, it was pretty much your guaranteed seat at the manor. Hell, he’d even have you sit in his lap during smaller meetings. That you were used to. But this? In public? With what you were wearing? It wasn’t a place you were 100% sure you wanted to be.

You shift into his lap until you’re comfy, looking up to see his lips turned into an amused smirk, amber eyes glinting, almost as if he was plotting. “Malysh, come closer?” He requests, his amused look not changing for even a second. “I’m cold.”

“Thought you’d be used to the cold weather by now.” You tease as you shuffle forward slighl-

Oh.

Oh.

So that was his game.

You look up at him at the feeling of his very hard, leaking cock that had made its way out of his pants and was pressed up against you, your brain piecing together why he wanted you in that short dress. And why he requested you go panty-less, a request you firmly denied. A decision you stood by even in the current situation.

He returns your look, his hands moving to reach your waist from under your coat, rubbing his hands up and down your sides in a soothing motion. The elderly woman across from you coos before speaking to Zhuk in rapid Russian, him simply smiling and returning her comment smoothly. You barely catch the words ‘is nervous’ and ‘isn’t used to the cold’, your Russian - although good enough to converse with - not good enough to follow the two speaking it so quickly.

You do catch her saying ‘what a good man you are, looking out for your wife’ and that nearly causes you to snort, having to hide your face against his neck. If only she could see that the ‘soothing motions’ were actually him pulling your dress up to your waist, his fingertips tracing over the lace of your panties. You don’t know how it happened, one second they were there, the next they were gone, but soon your bottom half was bare and you could feel the scratchy fabric of his trousers against your ass. His fingers skillfully, almost playfully, move to spread your folds and dance along your clit before slowly sliding inside of you, stretching you, preparing you. You don’t know how to respond, face red as you bite back gasps and small moans, much to his delight and enjoyment. You look up at him through your lashes, eyes wide as you murmur, “Zhuk, moy muzh,” shifting slightly in his lap, accidentally forcing his fingers deeper inside of you, causing a small jolt and grunt to fall from your lips. The look in his eyes is positively feral as he calmly lifts you up and pulls you flush against him before slowly lowering you onto his cock, slowly filling you up as you take him to the hilt. His strong arms wrap around you, keeping you pressed against his chest to stop you from moving.

“Keep me warm, moya zhena.” He purrs in your ear as your arms wrap around him, face pressed against his neck as you try to hold back small moans, feeling so incredibly full. Your hand briefly move to feel your stomach, causing you to whine softly into his shoulder when you feel him. Pulsing, throbbing, but most importantly, filling you and stretching you in a way no one else could. You press down just to see if it’d make you feel fuller, which it does and it causes you to whimper softly. What it also does, much to your surprise is cause Zhuk to let out the smallest, quietest, tiniest little moan, almost breathy, right in your ear. You freeze for a second, and in that second, you nearly forgot where you were. You try to go and press down on the bulge protruding out of your stomach slightly, only for a pair of hands to catch your wrists and tug them away before disappearing. “Behave.” The one word rumbles out from deep within his chest.

You somehow manage to settle, his arms having wrapped around you to the point he was able to rub at your hips gently. To the onlooker, it simply looked like the two of you were completely and utterly lost in one another, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, completely hidden by the thick fabric of your coats. But, in reality, you were struggling to remain quiet, remain discreet. Every so often, as the train went over a part of particularly bumpy track, Zhuk would jerk up into you before settling back down, it causing a sudden jolt of hot pleasure through your already sensitive system as you move to hide your red face against the collar of his coat, biting down on your lip to the point that, at some stage, you had caused it to bleed. Ever the gentleman (or as gentlemanly as one could be with his cock currently pressing against every sensitive spot inside of you), Zhuk calmly swipes away the few droplets of blood before swooping down to kiss the pain away, lips soft against yours as his tongue chases after the few drops he missed, closing the wound for you as he does so. As he pulls back, you feel his cool breath coast over your face, eyes having fluttered shut as you try to concentrate on his lips and him filling you and him healing you and just him in his entirety. His delicious, mischievous, sexy entirety. “Beregis', malen'kaya roza. My ne khotim, chtoby vy unichtozhili takoye prekrasnoye proizvedeniye iskusstva, verno? Eto moya rabota.” He purrs lowly and slowly, giving you a chance to translate the sentence into English, causing you to shudder.

“It’s your own fault.” You complain, moving to rest against his shoulder once more as he chuckles, enjoying the sensation of his vibrating chest against yours.

You settle back down and try to focus on anything. Anything other than the delicious stretch he was providing, anything other than how every so often either one of you would shift and it would send a large shiver down your spine as the fabric of his pants rubs against your clit, anything other than how you could feel him throb and pulse inside of you. Anything other than that incredibly hot growl he lets off every time you clench or squeeze around him, that one-word warning rumbling past his lips every single time that gets at you just enough for you to temporarily obey him. Anything other than the low vibrations that seem to be coming deep inside the train right up through Zhuk and inside of you, turning his cock into a low-setting vibrator. It feels good, too good, to have him fill you, stretch you, hold you flush against him. You can’t help the occasional whine or whimper that falls from your lips. You can almost feel his smirk every single time as a large hand palm at the bulge he has created and murmuring a soft ‘soon’ into your ear, a promise of what was soon to come.

Slowly, but surely, the carriage begins to empty. Each stop, several passengers disembark with very few boarding. Within thirty minutes, there is just you, the elderly lady who is knitting quietly opposite you and three other passengers to your left. At the next stop, they all leave, the elderly lady biding the both of you farewell as she goes, only Zhuk returning the goodbye.

The train takes off once more and you relax into his arms. Finally alone.

Zhuk, on the other hand, has very different plans. His grip on your waist tightens as he growls lowly, and then, without hesitation or mercy. Zhuk begins to fuck you.

You weren’t expecting a slow, romantic, love-making session, but the ferocity of how he takes you does surprise you slightly, your last brain cell melting from your mind with that thought as you cling to him, nails biting down into the black wool of his coat and teeth sinking in against his neck as you desperately try to muffle any sounds pouring from your throat as to avoid alerting the people in the next carriage.

You feel so full, in a way that only he’s ever been able to fill you, so completely and nearly to the brink of breaking point, him pressing against every little spot inside of you that makes your body tingle and light up with each thrust upwards into you. You’re not sure what it was, the fear of getting caught, the idea that you were in public, having sat on him for at least three-quarters of an hour before he started fucking you, the risk that at the next stop the carriage could fill up again, the time factor because of that fact, the rough cotton of his pants rubbing against your clit so deliciously, his low, rumbly voice with his own special kind of timbre murmuring small praises, mixes of Russian and English being quietly spoken into your ear, or a mix of them all, but your orgasm hits you like a freight train. Your eyes squeeze shut, teeth-baring down to the point you are certain you’ve ripped fabric as you muffle your scream as you shudder and clench around him, causing him to groan lowly in your ear.

“Careful now, dragotsennyy.” He nips at your earlobe teasingly. “You do not want to get caught in such a compromising position, da?” You shake your head, trying to force yourself to stay quiet, barely able to hold back your small mewls as he continues to press up against you, your overly sensitive body both begging for more and for it to stop.

Quickly, his rhythm becomes sloppy, his thrusts become harsher and his grip on your hips grows tighter as he grunts quietly. You can tell that he’s close, his hands guiding you to rock up against him, your hands moving to cup his face and move his face in order to kiss him, your teeth clacking as your faces mash together in a desperate attempt to silence him as he groans lowly into your mouth, returning the kiss just as heatedly and as desperately.

Just as the automatic voice comes up to inform you of the incoming station, Zhuk’s hips stutter to a stop as he groans, a little too loud for comfort but thankfully no one next door seemed to notice. You roll your hips against him as he spills inside of you. You can feel his smirk against your lips as you sigh happily as your hips move to a stop, him kissing you softly once. Twice. Three times before he moves to nuzzle against your neck.

As a selection of new passengers enter the carriage as the train stops at the next stop, the sight that greets them is nothing more than sweet. You, having swung back around to sit properly in Zhuk’s lap, his arms wrapped around your waist as he pulls you close, your face beet red as the taller man hides his cocky smirk into the back of your neck. What they can’t see is you squeezing thighs together tightly to keep his cum from sliding down your legs and into the back of your coat or, God/Satan forbid, into the seat of Zhuk’s pants. You turn to murmur closer to his ears in the hopes that no one will overhear.

“Can I have my panties back please?” You don’t like the sound of his amused chuckle that comes from the back of his throat.

“No.” Comes his simple response, his arms squeezing around you for just a second. “The next stop is ours.” He says calmly.

“Zhuk.”

“Moya zhena.” He replies, amusement still evident in his voice, hands moving to tap at your thighs as the train starts to slow.

You sigh, knowing that there was no point in fighting it. You discreetly attempt to tug your skirt down lower from over your now buttoned-up coat, Zhuk already having pulled it down just past your ass when he helped you reposition earlier before you carefully slide off of his lap and awkwardly make your way to the doors, his hand rubbing the base of the back as you continue to attempt to keep as much of his cum inside of you, whimpering when you feel it slowly start to slide down your thighs.

The moment you step outside, you forget anything about your previous missing of not leaving a trail of white behind you as you spin to glare at your husband. “Zhuk.”

He looks down at you innocently. “Yes, zaika?” He asks innocently.

To your surprise, when you exit the train, you are back at the station you boarded on. You are tempted to slap him, tell him off, ignore him completely. Instead - “When can I have my panties back, you asshole?”

He smiles charmingly down at you, leaning down to kiss your lips chastely, a stark comparison as to what just occurred. “When we are back in our room.” He dismisses, his hand resting at the base of your back as he guides you towards the exit.

He’s lucky that you love him.

Translations:

In order of appearance:

Watch out, little rose. We do not want you to destroy such a beautiful work of art, right? That's my job.

[mollymauk-teafleak]

Help Wanted (final chapter)

Thank you so much to everyone whose enjoyed this fic! Writing it has been a real joy and a relief right now, especial thanks to @minky-for-short​ and @spiky-lesbian​ my lovely beta readers!

Please consider leaving a comment on Ao3 if you’ve enjoyed this fic!

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

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Fjord and Caduceus get the happy ending they deserve

WARNING: This chapter deals with physical domestic violence, it doesn't happen on page but the results are seen. Also, conversations around internalised homophobia

----

“Are you really going to let him leave without saying goodbye?”

It was all Yasha had said to her that evening, since she’d come storming in after her disastrous ‘conversation’ with Fjord. Not at first, of course, both of her girlfriends knew better tha to approach her when she was in a mood like that, giving her space to burn her anger away. Jester, of course, had immediately crept onto the sofa as soon as the coast was clear, wrapping her soft arms around her and not asking for an explanation, just holding.

Yasha didn’t speak her love through touch as much as Jester, instead there was a cup of warm tea in front of her all of a sudden and the strong, sure presence behind her he knew so well, a hand on her shoulder.

And those words, in her quiet, level voice.

Jester looked like she wanted to say more, that expression on her face like she was just full of words and was about to burst, until Yasha laid a gentle hand on top of her head and suggested that maybe she could go and help her make dinner. The tiefling bit her lip and flared her nostrils but eventually nodded and hopped over the back of the sofa, Yasha turning after her and leaving Beau with those words.

“Are you really going to let him leave without saying goodbye?”

Not admonishing or judging, there was none of that in her tone, as steady and sure as the sight of home from a long distance. It was just another moment where Beau felt her girlfriends knew her better than she knew herself, like they saw what was under the anger at the surface, the anger that many would assume was all there was to her. So many that sometimes Beau would believe it.

Because of course she wasn’t going to let her best friend go for gods knew how long without a goodbye. She couldn’t have their last interaction be them screaming at each other on a street corner, throwing words like weapons. No matter how she felt about his choices, he was still her friend. They’d been through far too much to leave it like that.

It had just taken her up until now to realise it.

Sighing, Beau unfolded herself and stood up, heading for the door, “I’m going to go to Fjord’s.”

Relief flooded Jester’s expression and Yasha gave a small nod, “We’ll have dinner ready for when you come back.”

Beau gave them both a rueful smile, taking a moment to admire the simple domesticity of them with Jester chopping carrots and Yasha stirring a pot on the stove. She couldn’t believe this was her life now, after so much time believing she was undeserving of anything half as lovely. A square window of warm yellow light on a dark street, always there for her.

And she would repay them by continuing to get better.

Beau shouldered on her jacket and slipped her feet into her comfy walking trainers, already planning out what she was going to say, how she was going to rescue the clusterfuck that had been their last interaction. At least it wasn’t the first time they’d had to do this, they were practically experts at navigating their way back to friendship after both letting their anger do the speaking for them.

She was a second from putting her hand on the door when someone knocked on it.

Frowning, Beau opened the door and sucked in a sharp breath.

Fjord stood on their doormat, panting heavily like he’d run there. A gym bag sat at his feet, haphazardly stuffed and hastily zipped. He was shivering in just a t-shirt and jeans, the cold night air turning his joints a harsh, dark green, arms wrapped around himself protectively and his eyes red and raw.

And an angry swelling around one streaming eye.

“I…” his voice was raspy, like he was struggling to get the words out, “Um, I broke up with Avantika. Can I sleep on your couch tonight?”

Fury flooded Beau within an instant, her jaw clenching hard and her hands turning into white knuckled fists. Adrenaline snapped hard in her chest, making her voice a low growl, “I’m going to kill her. I’m going to fucking kill her.”

Fjord closed his eyes, shrinking down, looking so completely defeated, like a man with water up to his jawline and rising, “Beau...please, I...I just need a friend right now. Please?”

Beau found it hard to control her emotions, as a rule, particularly negative ones. They seemed to take root in her, in her muscles and chest and nerves, and take over until it was so hard to care about anything else.

But the one thing Beau did care about more than anything was the people she loved.

So she inhaled deeply, feeling it fill her up, as the monks had taught her. And as she exhaled, her jaw unclenched, her fingers spread and palms opened.

“Of course,” she reached out and put her hand on Fjord’s arm, gently bringing him inside, “Jester can have a look at that eye and we’ll make a bed up for you. Stay as long as you like, man, seriously.”

Fjord’s lower lip trembled and he bit down on it, hard, just nodding.

“Hey,” Beau murmured quietly, dropping her voice before folding him into the attentions of her family, the wide eyes and gasps and immediate action, the realities of his healing, “You’re safe here. Okay?”

Fjord gave a shuddery gasp and in it Beau could hear every time he’d let something slip as a teenager about the realities of the Asylum, every disastrous break up with women he couldn’t force himself to love, every impossible rule he’d been given to live by, every nightmare and flinch away from a raised voice, every scar he’d been given by so many people. She heard a lifetime of hurt start to shift like an earthquake starting to stir.

“Okay,” Fjord breathed, tears starting to fall.

Caduceus stayed in bed far past his alarm, lying on his side and listening to it’s dull buzz in the predawn gloom. He’d been awake long before it sounded but now it had, he couldn’t bring himself to move.

All he could do was replay the kiss over and over in his mind, the last moments he would ever spend with Fjord. He frantically searched for something, anything he could have done to change the outcome, changing his words and actions over in his mind like puzzle pieces he couldn’t make fit. Was there any way he could have kept Fjord close to him, taken the fear out of his eyes, any way he could have turned him around in the darkness?

He knew it would do no good but he couldn’t stop his mind chewing it over, punishing himself for every choice and everything he could have done differently.

It was as if the clocks had turned back on him and he was the firbolg he’d been two years and change ago. The one with weights on his wrists and ankles keeping him pinned to his too small bed, lost and depressed and scared to go out into the loud, foreign city he didn’t know, endlessly punishing himself for leaving too soon, for leaving too late, for leaving full stop. Falling before he’d even taken his first step, building walls around himself when he’d worked so hard to be free.

He couldn’t bear that again. So Caduceus did what he had done two years ago and touched the earring that looped through his right ear. He’d always played with his ears as a child, running his fingers over their soft edges to calm himself whenever he was anxious. Apparently he’d done it as a baby too, when he’d been born with the largest set of ears any of his family had ever seen on a newborn, so the story went. So when he’d been thinking where to set his mark of the Wildmother, the choice had seemed obvious.

He ran his thumb over the carved, polished oak, following the whorl of the wood and took a deep breath.

“Please give me strength,” he murmured, “I’m going to need you to get through today. And...wherever he is, please protect him. Please make sure he’s okay.”

And then he got up, far from ready to face the space in the cafe beside him that would always feel empty, but at least able to try.

He tried to focus on simple things, once the door to the cafe had closed behind him, letting out it’s usual cheery ring.

Take off your coat. Hang it up. Take out your apron. Put it on, double knotted at the front. Take the first chair down. Then the next. Then the next.

Simple instructions for an exhausted brain and an aching heart. And it worked, for a time. It stopped him thinking about how Fjord would be coming up the street right now, how the bell would seem extra bright when he pushed it back. How he would call out a friendly hello and probably use some slang term Caduceus wouldn’t understand but he would put together from context. How he’d be wearing shorts, even in the cold and Cad would tease him for it and Fjord would jokingly call him his grandmother in return. How he’d help him take the chairs down, going twice as fast as he did, asking when Cad would be putting the croissants in the oven because it just so happened he’d missed breakfast that morning, just a coincidence. How he’d call him Caddy and be the only person who ever had.

Maybe it wasn’t working as well as he’d thought.

Fortunately, the ringing of the bell above the door gave him something else to think about.

“I’m sorry, we’re not quite open yet,” Cad straightened up, “But if you’d like to take a seat, I can get the kettle on…”

“I think I’d like that,” Fjord answered, his voice small and hopeful, “If you had the time.”

Caduceus froze, eyes widening, wondering if he was still back in his bed, listening to the alarm and had finally drifted to sleep. But he never would have imagined Fjord like this, looking so tired and hollowed out, with a fading, sickly yellow shadow over one eye and a fresh scab on his lip.

The marks were all he could see, hand lifting to touch them, heal them without question but he forced himself to stop, “Who…”

Shame darkened Fjord’s expression and he hunched his shoulders, “Um...Avantika…”

Cad’s jaw dropped and he felt a pit of disbelief open up inside him, quickly filled by an anger he’d only felt rarely but when he did, it was like a forest bursting into flames, “What?”

Fjord winced, “Don’t worry, I’m done with her. I mean it, for good. She’s leaving anyway and...and I just want to let it go, okay?”

Cad quelled his anger, tucking it away to examine later, “So...she’s going and you’re…”

Fjord smiled then, even as it clearly tugged painfully on his lip, “I’m staying.”

Cad blinked, shaking his head slowly, wanting to believe it so desperately but terrified of being hurt again, pulled in two directions at once, “You’re staying? For good?”

Fjord nodded, “With Beau and Jester and Yasha until I can sort something more permanent than their couch. I mean, I still need to get stuff from...from her place and...I-I’ve never really put down roots anywhere so…”

He even sounded different. His accent had shifted slightly, like a layer of it had been pulled away. A lot of him seemed to have been pulled away, actually, pared back and stripped down and he was trying to figure out what was left.

“I’d like to work here again, if you’d have me,” Fjord asked shyly, “I mean, I’d completely understand if you weren’t comfortable with that. After...after everything.”

Yes, Cad wanted to answer wholeheartedly but he made himself stop.

“After what, Fjord?” he said instead, “I think we need to talk about it. It doesn’t have to be right now but we need to.”

Fjord shook his head, “No. I mean, thank you but no. You’re right, we need to talk about it and we need to talk about it now. I’ve waited far too long already.”

Cad nodded and gestured to the table he stood by. None of the tables or chairs in the cafe matched, as he’d sourced them from half a hundred different thrift stores and flea markets and scrap yards. This one was black wrought iron with a mosaiced top, flowers done in squares of leaded glass. It was a table made for partners, for third or fourth dates, only big enough for two people to sit close with not an inch of spare space.

Fjord sat across from him willingly. He’d looked like he’d slept in the clothes he was wearing and judging by the room, they were probably Yasha’s. Cad wondered if the ladies even knew he was here, as early as it was.

“I, um…” Fjord cleared his throat, “I want to apologise for the kiss last night. Not that I did it, just the way I reacted. Well...maybe how I did it too. That wasn’t how I’d want our first kiss to go. What I mean is, I want to kiss you, Caduceus. I...I like you. In that way.”

Cad felt something come to life in his chest, a fluttering that settled in his throat as his heart began to pound, “I like you in that way too, Fjord. I have for a while.”

Fjord’s golden eyes widened, “Really? I...I hoped, I thought I saw it sometimes but I didn’t know if I was seeing what I wanted to see.”

“Neither did I,” Cad smiled kindly.

That made him smile again, that shy hesitant smile. He took a deep breath, fixing his gaze on the table top while he marshalled his thoughts, like he was having to rearrange everything with this new information.

“Um...it might seem stupid but knowing I...I can feel this way, I’ve kind of only known it since yesterday. Well, not really, it’s always kind of been there but up until now I tried to hide it, even from myself. It just wasn’t something I could be, it wasn’t allowed in the world I lived in until I met you,” Fjord swallowed hard, “In the orphanage, I would have been beaten up for it. In high school I would have been even more rejected than I already was, on Vandran’s ship, I...I would have lost the only man who I could call a father. But I didn’t realise how much it was hurting me, how...how it was like an infection? The more I tried to hide this part of me, the sicker I got, the more twisted, the more sad.”

Cad only nodded and gazed at him, trying to be a constant, sure presence.

“But...I’m done feeling sick,” Fjord took a shaky breath, “I’m done hiding it. I’m...I’m gay,” his voice broke almost immediatley and his face crumbled, tears flooding into his eyes, “Gods, I’m sorry…”

Cad leaned forward, voice soft, “Oh, Fjord, it’s okay. I promise it’s okay...can I touch you?”

Fjord nodded wordlessly as his shoulders shook, gripping back just as tight when Cad wound their fingers together and held fast.

“It’s okay,” Cad stroked his thumb across his knuckles, feeling the scars and callus there, “Fjord, it’s okay to feel grief, it’s okay to feel lost and confused and happy, all of these things come with realisations like this. But I need you to understand you’ve just done a wonderful, brave, beautiful thing and I am so very proud of you.”

Fjord didn’t fight his tears, they fell on their joined hands as he gasped out, “But...I don’t know when I’ll feel comfortable kissing you, I don’t know when I’ll be able to say ‘I love you’, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to have sex with you...Cad, I can’t ask you to take all this on.”

“Yes, you can,” Caduceus said, firmly, “You can, Fjord, because you are worthy of love. You are worthy of patience and care and kindness. You can always ask. And I am saying yes.”

Fjord gave a sodden, shaky gasp and collapsed fully into his tears, pitching forward, stumbling until Caduceus caught him. He caught him and he held on tight, as strong as any anchor had ever held a ship, folding him into his arms and letting him sob into his chest. With the scent of fresh breeze and dew heavy flowers around them, Caduceus held the man he loved and who loved him back and let him cry. As he would through so many hard days and difficult times.

Eventually, Fjord’s tears ran out. In Cad’s arms he felt so small, like he’d shrunk down without the weight of the poison he’d purged. He let him pull away for air, holding his face in his hands and stroking his damp cheeks so gently.

He wasn’t looking at the mask of a man who had believed all the lies he’d been given and swallowed the hate he’d been shown for long, long years. But nor was he looking at the man who’d made him laugh so much, who’d been occupying his cafe for the last months, the one who had reached out to the Wildmother and Caduceus with hope and desperation in his eyes.

Caduceus was looking at someone new, someone halfway between those two and someone entirely himself. He was looking at Fjord at the very start of a long and difficult journey. He was looking at the man he now realised the Wildmother had put him on this earth to love.

They kissed, a soft and gentle kiss, shy and sweet as honey. And this time, Fjord smiled from ear to ear.

It would be hard for both of them at times. They would both struggle and cry and need different things at different times. But it would always wash up better than when they started, they would grow together stronger.

And both of them knew the light would always be left on.

A year was a long damn time to keep a secret. Beau was pretty pleased with herself for managing it.

She would hide her knowing grins behind her coffee cup as they’d all sit together in the Blooming Grove and someone would bring up how strange it was that Caduceus hadn’t found someone for all the time he’d been in the city. She’d feel a burst of pride when one of them would comment on how much happier Fjord was looking, how his tusks were coming in, how therapy seemed to be doing him a world of good, if they really were just going to ignore the fact that his accent had totally changed. She’d snort down laughter whenever Caleb would cluelessly comment that Fjord and Caduceus had been in the back room an awful long time for guys who were just supposed to be getting sugar and why did that take two people in the first place anyway?

Because she’d spent nearly her whole life looking out for her best friend, ever since they were in high school. There was no way she was going to miss how Fjord would put his hand in places it had no rightful reason to be during work hours, when he thought the counter was hiding them better than it was and Cad happened to be passing by. She wasn’t going to miss how, whenever busy days or stormy weather would have Fjord paled and shaking, Caduceus would be the person he’d turn to. She wasn’t going to miss the extra long lunch breaks in the back room or how late Fjord would come home some nights, after cleaning up apparently took hours longer than expected.

But she said nothing, shrugging innocently whenever asked, all while watching through the corner of her eye as Fjord stole a kiss to the back of Cad’s hand behind the coffee machine.

There were no secrets with family after all.

[markword]

Summary: You have had a crush on Jungkook since forever ago, but he’s changed and so have you. But when you get closer to him-in a different way than expected-feelings start to come out of the dark.

What’s in this bitch: swearing, SMUT, and a lil but of spice✨✨

Side note: this is my first fanfic, so plz be nice and enjoy!! She’s a long one so get comfy and get somethin to eat and get your playlist ready ✌🏼and there will be typing errors so ignore dem por favor

WITHOUT FURTHER ADUE::::

The echoes of your footsteps drilled into your head at an annoying volume. It didn't help that your heart was incessantly pounding either. You sweep by the empty classrooms, books laying on the floor, sprawled out in a hurry. The paper in your hand was nearly as wrinkled as your shirt, picked straight out of your hamper due to the lack of time and lack of any better ideas. The bell rings and kids start to spill out of every classroom, almost taking you off your track. the bell left an annoying buzz in your ears that kept you charging forward. No one has ever given you a note, not in the four years of highschool. The note was battered and slightly torn from your fidgety hands toying with the edges all day. You'd only read it once, out of fear that if you read it again, it wouldn't say the same thing;

Go to the main entrance after last period.

I'll be waiting.

j.k.

your heart couldn't help but flutter when you first opened the tightly folded note. you couldn't help but think of who sent it to you. He was always on your radar, but not in the romantic sense. You knew it was Jeon Jungkook because of the way the words were scribbled on the paper and obviously, how he closed the short note with his long lived nickname, ¨jk. He was always quiet and reserved in middle school, which would be his defining trait until sophomore year rolled around. rumors upon rumors built up about him, almost taking you off your feet when you first heard them. Jungkook, the quiet and sweet kid you basically grew up with through school, caught with a girl in a school bathroom? for some reason, the rumors were never proven but something about how he swayed when he walked and looked at girls for a split millisecond had them planning baby names. He had silently nudged you toward the conclusion that they were undoubtedly true. The hardest part about seeing his personality take a 180 was the fact that your secret but not so secret crush on him in middle school had quite nearly been strangled to death by the man that stood waiting for you, at the main entrance.

As your pace slowed, your ears and lungs caught up. you knew you were near the main entrance, but you couldn't see over the rushing flow of students going to and fro. you catch a glimpse of the top of his head, and miraculously, he notices you too.

You'd be lying if you said you didn't still have a little thing for him.

you couldn't help it. Maybe it was more of an instinctual hormonal pull, but he was easy on the eyes and in a rugged way, almost dreamy.

His longer dark brown hair, pulled into a small bun, perched on top of his head. his loose black v neck hanging dangerously against his strict collarbones. his baggy grey joggers molded to all the right places but still looking stylishly comfy.

you stride closer to him, and see that he was making small talk with a fragile blonde girl. He erupts into laughter, showcasing his devilish smile. which was always accompanied by his cute dimples. one of the reasons you became so hopelessly in love with him in middle school was that sweet and sour smile of his. You couldn't help but look for it every once and a while in class. You slowly approach him, giving him enough time to wrap up his previous conversation.

"Oh, hey Y/N. Sorry to leave a mysterious note like that" he smiled with his eyes, making the apology that much harder to not accept (although it was a pain in the ass)

"It's really okay. Why'd you want to meet here though? I haven't talked to you for a while"

"That's not true I talk to you everyday in class" he smiled, but it was obvious he was poking fun at you and your nervousness about being there with him. He had to admit, it was a little suspicious.

"Well, what is it then?" you were starting to get impatient, letting your temper mixed with your short attention span to get ahold of you. which of course, didn't go unnoticed by Jungkook.

"Iwas absent yesterday for that chem quiz. can you tell me what's on it? I know you’re smart and you understood the material really well."

You were definitely infuriated, knowing this could've been sent by text or even asked in the fleeting moments after class. you see him at least 5 seperate times a day, why a stupid fucking note to some clandestine meeting?

"Jeon, couldn't you have just texted me? But yeah, Iremember a few questions it wasn't that hard." You were dying for an explanation, but the way his face went blank and uninviting, was enough to gather the realization that you weren't getting one.

"Im taking the makeup test in 10 minutes. Do you think I could cram the answers in time?"

Of course he could. He was insanely and almost annoyingly smart. but just like his soft nature, that disappeared over summer break before sophomore year.

He sent you off with a quick thanks and then casually turned his heels to walk to the chem classroom. Once he left, you started to realize the strangeness of it all. He could've asked anyone in Chem 2, but he asked YOU? With a note to meet nonetheless. thinking about it gave you a headache, so once you turned on your car to go home, you started to think about what songs to play and what dinner will be instead. The car ride home was uneventfully blissful, the usual weird seat dancing and emotional signing to your favorite car songs.

You walk in the door with an exaggerated "humphf" when setting down your backpack to go look in the fridge to look for a snack you knew wasn't there. Your phone vibrates on your kitchen table and slightly annoyed you at how it proceeded to rumble loudly against the flat surface. You pick it up only to see that Jungkook had sent you a post on instagram with another message that read;

jungkook:Thanks for helping today, here's this to show my thanks

it was a distorted meme that you'd seen hundreds of times before, but its humor ran out after the second time it beamed on your screen. It surprised you that he sent a meme, but it surprised you even more to get another taste of the old Jungkook you knew. The one who would thank you for helping him out, and seem genuinely thankful. Sometimes you’d catch yourself stealing fleeting glimpses of him in class. you'd often try to pick up on his new tendencies and see some of his old, but comforting ones. He would also space out in middle school, leaving his notebooks riddled with doodles and scribbles to keep himself awake. Just two days ago, he was in a lab with you and you couldn't help but glance at his notebook for a split second; graffitied with little faces and tiny but strategic and pleasing scribbles. You're still looking blankly at the screen, sure that he noticed the "seen" under his texts a while ago.

you: Of course j.k. Ibet you aced it anyways

All of this weird and sudden contact had your head in a whirl. Too many questions and literally no answers. you thought it best to leave it alone for now. But he didn't.

_______________________________________________

You don't remember when you dozed off exactly, but you knew it was a good night's sleep when you woke up with a dry mouth and a full bladder. You groan and reach for one of the countless half filled water bottles on your nightstand. Huh? a sock?

"Whatever, Ihave to pee" you mutter to yourself. for a moment you didn't realize your deep and groggy voice.

"Wait, what" There it is again! you've never sounded this dead in the morning, even when you were hungover after your wildest night out. You finally flicker your eyes open only to be met by an unfamiliar ceiling fan and light grey walls. You rush to sit up. Something wasn't right. you look down and almost scream.

"Where are my boobs?!" your hands shoot reflexively to your chest, where they always are and are met with a dull smack as your hands hit complete flatness. You scurry out of the unfamiliar, but disgustingly messy bed and dart your eyes to find a mirror. It was weirdly easy to get up and dash to the mirror in the small bathroom to your right considering it wasn't your body you were in.

You stood panting in front of the mirror to see Jungkooks face staring back.

"What in the FUC-"

_______________________________________________

Jungkook sorta remembers when he went to bed. By sorta he means he knew it was between 8 PM and 1 AM. He's not good at remembering things, besides, he's already up now. He cracks his neck and instinctively reaches his hand down his boxer shorts.

"Where is my-" he suddenly feels his arm push against something warm on his chest while he extended his arm to find what was there just last night. He grabs the foriegn object on his chest, anxious to grab something since his usual apparently isn't there right now. Is this a boob? It was a boob. he reached up to mimic his other hand. and there's TWO? of course there he knew that. He'd seen plenty of them, but feeling them on himself? Hell no. THAT'S never happened before. He sat up, hands still clenched around the annoyingly loose bra that covered-well-HIS tits. His face went tense as he looked for a mirror. He slowly approached the mirror hanging on the door, hoping to not be met with one of his drunken hookups that could've been a witch for all he knows. He slowly opened his eyes.

"Y/N?! Damn. well, she has nice tits, I have to give her that."

——————————————————————————

You both immediately shot a text to each other, hoping it wasn't a dream, because if it was, you'd both look like idiots. But after telling eachother what happened when they woke up, (Jungkook left out the whole boob ordeal) and you decided to skip school today and sneak out of the house to meet and try to figure out what happened last night.

After throwing on something Jungkook might wear, you couldn't help but notice his figure staring back at you. He really was handsome. You flashed a beefy smile at the mirror and stayed smiling after seeing his signature but memorable smile. You finally talked his mom into letting you stay home just 30 minutes ago, with jungkook in an earbud listening and telling you the best way to make his mom cave. You were slightly annoyed when he said that all he had to do was say he felt sick and your mom was already convinced. It was still uncomfortable hearing your voice through the phone. you sounded really stupid on the phone. you decided to meet at a park close to both your house and his to figure it all out and how to undo it. You had a hard time figuring out how to drive his car but ended up to the park in one piece. well, Jungkook arrived in one piece. there was still no sign of your body yet. Your car comes screeching to a halt next to you before you see your body get out of the car in rage and slam the car door shut.

"Be careful with her she's old" you whine, referring to your beaten up and chipped car.

"Shut up and follow me. We gotta be alone." He grabs your arm and pulls you farther into the park and only loosened his grip when there were less than 5 people around.

"What the fuck happened, Y/N? This is freaking me out. How does this shit even happen? And why me and yo-"

"No, you shut up you're making me dizzy. I don't know my answer for all of those questions. oh god, what do we do at school? AT HOME? WHEN I HAVE TO PEE?" You almost choke on your breath thinking about going to the bathroom with a whole different set of tools.

"I don't know Y/N... I mean I could help you practice..." He reaches down toward your crotch-no- HIS crotch and you flick him away with wide eyes and a blazing stare back at him.

"This isn't a joke, Jungkook. What do we do?" you swallow heavily and look back at your body through his eyes.

"Ew. If I'd known that's what I look like I would just wear baggy sweats everyday..." you whisper it to yourself but since you were both so quiet and focused in thought, he heard it.

"Oh shut up you have a great body, Y/N."

"Did you LOOK? I didn't look, I thought it would be rude. wait-DID YOU LOOK YES OR NO?" you did look. He just doesn't need to know and wouldn't help your case any.

"Of course I did. nice tits by the way." he winked and cracked his neck again. you were too much in a daze thinking about how someone else had seen you naked. JUNGKOOK has seen you naked. Did he just say; nice tits? That doesn't matter, we need to figure this out before you cut off his dick for looking at you.

"We need to figure this out right now." you weren't kidding. if he touched your boobs that would be enough to commit manslaughter. it didn't matter if it was actually you that you were killing.

"We can go to my place now. Let's get something to eat. My mom wont think twice about me having a girl over anyways. She won't bat an eye and she'll leave us alone. Just tell her that we are both sick and want to study to catch up since its convenient. Its our best option." He cracked you a smirk, sending shivers down your spine. it was him alright, just in your body. You get up and start walking towards your beat up car out of habit to leave until he grabs your arm, almost jerking you so hard you would've fallen on your ass.

"Damn Y/N, your body is pretty strong. Stronger than you were in middle school. But lets take my car. I'll drive."

You couldn't help but blush at him mentioning middle school. I guess he really did pay attention to you back then. Your thoughts immediately hone in on memories of gym class when you'd be the best playing any activity and you embarrassed the boys in front of their respective crushes. you couldn't help but let out a little giggle, sounding even better when it came out as Jungkook's grisly and low voice. You settle in the car, and fidget with the seatbelts and keep your head glued on the dashboard to avoid any eye contact just in case you were still blushing. jungkook lets out an audible sigh before turning the keys in the ignition and putting the car in reverse. You couldn't help but look at him, sitting in your body, as he put an arm out behind your headrest to backout. He flickers his eyes between you and behind the car.

"Its so weird seeing my body like this, like from another perspective," you could resonate with what he said, especially since he's manhandling a car with legs wide open, but he looks like you at the same time. "I wonder what I look like during sex..." he mutters the last part under his breath and chuckles, part of him hoping that you would hear.

"Just ask one of your many lady friends, Jungkook. I'm sure they'd love to tell you all about it." You scoff. How could he change so much from the boy you were infatuated with? He was the same in small ways, but barely. It made you sad and frustrated when you realized that you secretly hoped he'd be the same around you after all these years.

"I could. But right now, I'm not exactly myself." You both reach to turn on the radio to drown out the awkward tension that seemed to have seeped in the car. You back off since it technically is his car anyways. He puts on one of his playlists and the first song starts to play. Its not rap and you're almost surprised. But you've known since middle school that he likes more indie and classic rock than anything else. You put your window down and look out with an elbow grasing the bottom of the window, and your hand finding its way to your hair. Well, Jungkook’s hair. Soft. You turn to look at the song name and realize jungkook is glaring at you. You never knew your face could look so scary.

"Don't feel pressured to act any different. Just be you and act normal, even if you want to touch my hair." He snickered and shot his eyes back on the road, making a smooth right turn at the light you'd been stopped at.

"Its a habit. Besides, you've seen me naked Jungkook, who cares if Iaccidentally touch your hair?" you had started to become more and more angry at his annoyingly hot voice. Just by hearing it in classes, you felt a tinge of wetness down under. But you're sure its just because of his voice, right?

"Am I wet right now? Is this what it feels like?" He chuckled so hard and loud you almost see your soul shoot out of the car and get run over. What the fuck do you even say to that? You had an idea as to why it happened but what do you say to jungkook?

He's still laughing a little when he shoots up straight in his seat.

"I know what it is Y/N, you think I'm SEXY."

you gulp. you decide that staying quiet is your best option, the one that will make you look less flustered and more cool about him calling you out.

"You know, Ihad a huge crush on you in middle school. It was almost embarrassing. I think I wrote you a love letter one time but I never gave it to you. You were such a player back then." He chuckles again, but softer this time. He confessed something embarrassing to get the conversation away from the obvious pool of wetness between his legs. YOUR legs.

"I did too." you mumble still looking out the window, trying to hide your excitement at his confession. you were happy but, that was a long time ago anyways. It didn't really matter now.

"Would you look at that, maybe we found out why we switched bodies." His facial expression was flat, almost bored looking. you both sat in silence until he pulled the car into the unfamiliar driveway you left this morning. You get out of the car and he reaches for the door and tells you to make yourself at home, as a joke, of course. To anyone else looking at you two, you were Jungkook, and this in fact, was your house.

"Maybe if we confess our past feelings, we will switch back. That’s the only thing I can think of anyways. You cool with that?" He was pouring himself a glass of apple juice and he set it down on the counter to get another glass for you.

"Yeah why not." you sipped slowly on the cold drink as he led you up the stairs to his room. You settle down on his bed facing each other, almost looking like two young girls at a sleepover talking about their celebrity crushes. you were both sitting with your legs folded and leaning in toward each other, a weirdly comfortable position for the both of you.

"You first." he grumbles with a cheesy smirk.

"Okay," you take a deep breath to collect your thoughts, "I liked you from 5th to 8th grade."

"That's it? I think we need a little more since we are still staring at our own bodies across from us." he was rocking side to side trying to conjure up any thoughts on how to fix your strange situation.

"Maybe we should kiss." He leans forward, which you dodge at the speed of light.

"What are you doing Jungkook?!" Your eyes wide open and stomach fluttering.

"Maybe this is how the spell thingy breaks, it makes sense."

He's right, If the reason you were stuck looking at yourself from this perspective was that you needed to confess and makeout, then so be it. You'd try anything at this point. You missed your own bed. He charges in closer to you slower this time and grabs your face. the way he was using your lips made it impossible to notice how quickly you'd shut your eyes. You opened them to see Jungkook staring at you with wide puppy dog eyes.

"Hell yes I'm back bitche-" He quickly silenced you with another kiss. I worked? You were sure you’d live out your days in another body. But you weren’t mad that his first idea worked out. But you weren’t about to keep your mind on the subject, Jungkook was millimeters away from you with his taunting lips. This kiss was more passionate and more eager. Your legs went limp, and your face set ablaze at Jungkook's fluid and sexy motions against you. He pokes his tongue at your lips, asking if he could enter. You quickly let him roam around your mouth, leaving you breathless and seeing stars. He slides his hands down from your face and traces the outer line of your figure, leaving goosebumps in their wake. you could feel the pool between your legs as your thighs began to quiver under his careful and strategic touch. He shifts you down, so that you're on your back and he is using an arm to support himself above you. you let out a needy whimper and you finally move your arms down his chest to trace his undoubtedly hot body. he flinched when you stopped at his waistband, and you were left just toying with the elastic until he forcefully pulled your shirt off your body, only leaving mere seconds between the deepening kiss. Neither of you were ready to stop. You could feel your body start to heat up against his and he slowly moved his waist into yours at a steady rhythm. you could feel his apparent erection glide across your thighs with every motion. You could feel the heat escape your core when you opened your legs farther, hoping he'd get the hint to touch you where you wanted him the most. You wanted his hands everywhere, but your arousal was too hot and strong to ignore for much longer. He slowly navigated his kiss downward, taking extra care of your neck, sure to leave a couple marks in his wake. once he reached your chest, with your bra still clinging on with the sheen of sweat you both worked up. As he moves his hands to hold you still, they rest on your hips with a tender but strong grip, willing you not to squirm under his touch. He started to kiss along the edge of your bra, frequently nibbling at the tender skin that lay beneath. He was taking his time of course, he'd been wondering what touching you and making you all worked up like this felt. He'd often steal glances at you in class, never letting go of his childish middle school crush. He'd accepted that he'd always feel something toward you, what that was he was unsure. But having you under him, and your back arching your chest towards him made him hungry. He knew he would never get you out of his head after this.

You take your arms behind your back and unclasp your bra hoping he would fasten up and make your horniness subside. He immediately grabs onto one and closes in on the other with tender kisses, licking around your nipple just to hear your sighs that turned into moans between his needy lips.

"Please Jung-" you whine trying to push yourself into him closer. you wanted to be swallowed into this moment. The tension was released, and god did it feel good. He cut you off with a strong and lasting rub against your core, just making you want to whine for more. He was rock hard, so the only thing he accomplished was making you shut up and making you kiss harder and your grip on his hips tighter. He finally slid his hands slowly up the inside of your thigh and his slender but strong fingers snaked their way under the thin cloth that was sticking to your folds. He took a deep and exaggerated swipe across your center, making you shiver with pleasure.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of that," he said, flashing a smile smile in between kisses on your neck.

"Just put it in already I'm dying here..."

With your words, he swiped off his shirt and pulled his pants down, showcasing the famous bounce as his erection springs out of his loose pants. his fingers wrapped around the fabric of your shorts, playing and twisting at them with want. He pulled them down slowly, propping your leg on the bed before throwing the soaking shorts somewhere on the floor. He pushed your thigh open with his now faster motions of his thigh, trying to get more friction against you. You whimper and reach for his erection. before you could fully palm it, he suddenly stopped and stared down at you, trying to catch his breath that had been sucked up by your deep kiss. He slid his thumb across your lower lip.

"Not yet Y/N. Let me do this first. I promise I’ll get to that in a minute." you watch him utter his words in a growl as he slowly drags his soft lips downwards between your breasts and then your stomach before his messy black hair is level with your core.

"I'll be gentle. Tell me if you want to stop at any time, Y/N."

You weren't expecting him to be gentle, or even offer an out for you. All the rumors of him being a brute and rough when it comes to sex and intimacy. You could see the old parts of Jungkook shining through. before you could think about it anything else he pressed his lips against you, lips pursed around your clit. a shake engulfed you, sending shivers up your spine and out of your mouth as a long moan. his tongue grazed over every inch of your center at least 3 times before he started to slow down and suck on your clit, leaving you able to feel every vibration of his ruffled moans against you. before you could recognize that you were almost at the peak of gushing-

"Are you still okay, baby?"

"Y-Yes. Oh GOD!" he had pushed two fingers into you, making you buck your hips into him. He grabbed your thigh with his other hand, silently telling you to stop letting your reactions distract him from the task at hand. Literally. He curls his fingers upward and moves slowly, applying just enough pressure to make your eyes roll back into your head, but gentle enough to keep you just below the line that would make it hurt. He was taking care of you, just like he said. You couldn't help but let your mind wander to his various conquests as he quite literally lapped at you like a starved man. Did he treat them like this? Was he this sweet but seductive with everyone? Are you the first to be thinking about this? His nibble at your folds broke you out of your daze. It doesn't matter now anyways, he was with you and he was good at making you feel good. Just keep going, you thought. It only took another nibble and his tongue in your heat to make you start to see a light.

"Jung- I'm-" you squealed. He just kept going, knowing that what he was doing was the ticket to your long anticipated orgasm. You quickly find yourself grabbing at his head of hair, just to help yourself ride out your climax. You feel the wet drip out of you, and Jungkook's tongue licking it up with lustful motions. Once he cleaned you up to his liking he lifted his head to look at you. Your eyes closed, chest heaving, and sweat making your face gleam. You really were beautiful, he thought to himself. But he wasn't done with you yet. He leaned over you and moved the baby hairs stuck on your face to the side. His doe eyes were searing into you, making you shift under him. You brought your hands up to rest on his chest. He really was beautiful, you thought to yourself. But you weren't done with him yet.

"Let me get a condom. Or are you on the pill? Its up to you, whatever you're comfortable with, baby." His term of endearment took you by surprise, but it didn't feel weird coming from his mouth, almost natural to him. You liked it, it even made your stomach hollow with excitement, but you'd never tell him that.

"I'm on the pill. I don't mind at all jungkook." His grin leaked into a smile, that adorable, sexy smile of his. it practically taunted you, knowing that his now stretched out lips were pressed up against you just mere minutes ago. You watched as he finally pulled down his boxers, allowing his painfully hard erection bounce out. The head, red and angry with understimulation, with beads of precum trickling down his length. He was big, just like the rumors had said, but you weren't expecting that he'd have the perfect length and girth. You knew after you felt him, it would be hard to go back. Especially since just his lips and tongue made you feel something you'd never felt before, something you'd think about at night while you played with yourself.

"Are you ready? I'll be careful with you if you're worried that it might hurt." He sat next to you on the bed, looking for any sign of regret in your eyes. Instead, he found your hungry eyes looking him up and down, completely naked in front of you.

"Don't hold back Jungkook, if we are going to do this I want to feel everything." You could barely focus on anything other than him. His abs, and the way they flexed when he let out a guttural laugh. His Adam's apple, that bobbed up and down when he would talk to you. His long, messy black hair, and how it framed his face. His rosy lips and how they pouted when he wasn't talking. Everything about the man sitting next to you was perfect. His features were just the same as they were back in middle school, but they became more mature and more sexy than cute.

"I'm excited to feel you around me Y/N. I've been thinking about what it would be like, and now you're here, and you're all mine." he uttered before leaning in for a soft kiss, making it easier to hide your face that was obviously blushing at his words.

"If you don't want me to hold back, Iwont" he whispers into your ear, making you wet all over again. His hand found your thigh amid deep kisses, and pushed it farther so he could fit himself between your thighs, allowing his erection to slowly graze over your dripping center with every motion. After Jungkook gathered enough of your arousal on himself, he decided it was enough to allow him to easily slip into you and lose himself in you. You grabbed his hip, angling him parallel to your body, begging him to ease himself into you.

"Please Jungkook..." you whine again.

before you could finish your sentence you felt his tip graze your entrance, teasing you with the heat. He was STILL teasing you? You grip your arms around his torso and force him closer, automatically pushing his length into you, but still not bottomed out yet. He was big and you wondered if you could realistically fit all of him in you. As soon as you pull him closer, Jungkook loudly grunts and shoots his head back at how well you fit around him.

"You feel so good Y/N." He breathes, starting to pump in and out of your heat. He didn't hesitate to throw your leg over his shoulder, allowing him further access into you. Within seconds he finds your g-spot, (he figured it was there since you let out ungodly moans when he hit it) and continues to hit it with each thrust. Each thrust was greeted with a slapping noise and the sounds of your arousal being moved around by Jungkook. His thrusts became more slowed, but deeper, grazing your cervix. The stretch that once felt uncomfortable started to feel pleasurable.

"Right there Jungkook, please don't-" you were too out of breath to even finish your sentence.

Jungkooks heavy breathing would've sent you over the edge right then and there, but he somehow kept you from coming to elongate the feeling of you around him, filling up his senses. His thrusts started to get sloppier, but still had a lustful drive in them. He shot his arm up to the wall, giving him support against his fastened pace. He grunts and shoots the other hand to use his thumb to circle around your clit, making you arch towards his touch.

"I'm gonna-" he spits out, clenching his jaw.

Not long after he warned you, you felt him throb against your insides, a warm pool filling you up. Just the sounds of Jungkook as he released into you was enough to make you follow suit not long after him since he rode his high within you.

"Sorry Ijust-" you put your finger up to his plumped lips to make him shut up.

"Don't say sorry Jungkook, It was perfect. Maybe too perfect..." you look to the side to avoid his taunting gaze. But he grabs your chin and demands for eye contact.

"I've had my eye on you since middle school, Y/N. And Iintend to keep it that way," He kisses your forehead before he gets up and throws you a hoodie that smelled like him.

"Get up butthead, we are getting icecream." he says through his stupid little grin.

[niall-is-my-dream]

Lost Without You - Part One

3295 words

When your alarm sounded the next morning at 8am, you actually felt ok. Jasper and Luke had walked you the short distance home like they always did after a shift, before heading off to the Student Union. You had sat at your desk in your room going over some Uni work and drinking a cuppa before falling into bed at 1am. You would have loved to have gone to the Union with the lads, but you had a full 8 hour day at The Cosy Coffee Corner today.

You only worked a Saturday for Audrey, the owner, but along with two shifts at the pub, it was all you could manage around your Uni work load. The beginning of the week for lectures was hectic but with only one on Thursdays and none on Fridays, you found working these two jobs fit in nicely, plus you needed the money. You currently lived in student accommodation so that was all paid out of your student loan. But feeding yourself and living in an expensive city like London meant you had to work. Plus you were saving for after graduation and you were hoping for a holiday.

Your dorm was actually pretty nice, it was one of the newer buildings and you'd lived here since you started University. Lots of people in the block had moved to flat shares, but you were happy where you were. It was close to both jobs, the tube and Uni and it overlooked the park. It was one room which had a small ensuite shower room and an even smaller kitchenette. Along with your desk, double bed and arm chair, it was home.

Audrey was filling up the freshly made cakes counter when you got to work at 9am. The cafe she owned, The Cosy Coffee Corner was situated as you'd expect on the corner of the high street. It was in no way modern, it was full of mismatched tables and chairs, massive sofas and comfy arm chairs. The walls were filled with art work and book shelves that were over spilling with books. Audrey looked up as you entered the cafe, the bell above the door jingling away, calling out a greeting as she carried on her work.

Saturday mornings in The Cosy Coffee Corner were always busy; during the week the place was filled with students but on days like today it was full of locals. You'd get dog walker calling in for an early morning take away coffee after being at the park opposite. Couples embracing a weekend off together sitting on one of the many sofas reading the newspaper.

There was something so warm and inviting about the cafe. Audrey was in her fifties and had run the place for about twenty years. The interior counter and fixtures had been updated but the idea behind the cafe still remained the same. Anyone was welcome to select and read any of the books on the shelves and stay for as long as they liked as long as they purchased a drink.

The Cosy Coffee Corner served hot drinks as well as a variety of home made cakes, pastries and sandwiches. Audrey would be in the cafe everyday from 6am preparing all the food you needed for day. She shared the duty with her sister in law, who worked part time with her.

You were finding working both jobs and Uni work tough since you were so close to graduating. But you couldn't afford to give up either jobs and you knew as soon as you graduated you weren't going to head home to Nottingham. You had made so many friends here and knew that London was where the best opportunities for Interior Design job's were. Plus, Audrey had said you could have extra shifts when you graduated, as had your boss at the pub.

By noon you'd served quite a few people and the sofas were all taken. Mr and Mrs Davidson has taken their usual spot by the window, watching the world go by as they read the newspaper. When a young women entered the cafe with a massive bouquet of flowers, heads turned.

"Hi, I have a delivery for Emma Pearce." She said.

"Um, that's me." You replied taking the bouquet from her.

Who would be sending you flowers, you thought as you opened the card.

"Thank you for saving me last night. N x"

You stared at the note dumbfounded. No one else knew you had helped Niall last night. You hadn't mentioned it to Jasper or Luke, not wanting to embarrass Niall in any way.

Audrey didn't ask you who they were from as the confused look on your face deterred her.

There was no way in hell they were from him, were they?

One week later

The flowers Niall had sent you were still looking beautiful sitting in a vase next to your desk. You'd woken up to your usual 8am alarm and got yourself ready to go to the cafe for work. As you sat and ate a quick breakfast of cereal, you stared at the flowers that you had received last Saturday. When you tried to send Niall a private message on Instagram and Twitter it wouldn't allow you to as he didn't follow you. So that put an end to the thank you message you spent 2 hours working out in your head.

Audrey was once again arranging the food counter when you entered The Cosy Corner Cafe that morning at 9am. She greeted you as usual as you walked past her to put your bag in the staff room.

You were just placing Mr Robsons coffee on the table for him when you heard the bell above the door jingle. Turning your head to greet the new customer, you froze.

Niall had just walked into the cafe, looking ridiculously good for 9:30 in the morning.  Dark jeans, Brown boots and a incredibly cute thick knit navy jumper. Perfect for a cool morning on a spring day. You made your way back to the counter placing the empty coffee tray with the rest before taking a deep breath and turning to face him.

"Hi Emma." He said, before you even had the chance to address him.

"Hi Niall, how are you?" You replied brightly.

Keep calm.

Don't be nervous.

"I'm great thanks. You?"

"Yes, good thanks. What can I get you?"

What you should have said was, thanks for the flowers. But you completely chickened out. There was still that niggling fear that they weren't actually from him and that someone was playing a joke on you.

"Just a regular Americano please?"

"Drink in or take away?" You asked him awkwardly.

"Um, drink in please?"

"Can I get you any pastries, freshly made by the owner this morning." You smiled trying to ease the tension in the air.

You hadn't expected to see him again. Ever.

"No, I'm good thanks."

"Ok, that's £2.40 then please."

He nodded and fumbled in his pockets for the change. Handing you the money he avoided eye contact with you. You rang the purchase through the till, handing him his 10p change.

"Take a seat and I'll bring it over for you." You said before turning around to the coffee machine.

"Did you get my thank you gift?" He suddenly blurted out.

"Yes I did. The flowers were beautiful Niall, thank you. How did you know I worked here?" You replied as you started to make his coffee.

Clearly he wasn't going to just sit down. You were completely baffled by his behaviour. He had sent you the flowers and had now seeked you out at your work place.

"Heard you talking to one of your colleagues at the pub. I hope my eavesdropping was ok, I just wanted you to know that I appreciated you saving me from my impending doom." He smirked.

You laughed then.

"Impending doom?! I'm sure you would've escaped without me. Just wanted her to know that her behaviour wasn't ok."

"I thought......um........I might hear from you when they were delivered." He said, suddenly taking great interest in the leaflets on the counter in front of him.

"Well, your social media accounts can't receive private messages from people you don't follow so....... "

"Didn't think about that." He said the realisation on his face.

"I hope you didn't think I was ungrateful?"

"No, I didn't think that. Thought maybe you just ...... Well I'm not sure what I thought." He replied trailing off.

Taking the coffee from the machine, you placed it on the counter with a smile.

"I didn't tell anyone about that girl, in case you were wondering." You said continuing to smile, trying to ease the sudden awkwardness again.

"I didn't think you would." He smiled back. "Not that it matters."

"Does that type of stuff happen often?" You asked him softly.

"I wouldn't say often, but it has happened a few times before."

"Honestly, that behaviour is not ok. I'm sorry that happens to you."

"Unfortunately it comes with the territory." He said letting out a sigh.

"Well it shouldn't."

***********

Niall's unexpected visit to the cafe yesterday had been playing on your mind. He'd sat by the window in an arm chair drinking his coffee for almost an hour. Scrolling through his phone and occasionally catching your eye, you smiled when you caught his gaze. The cafe had been busy though and with a steady stream of customers you hadn't really had a chance to speak to him much. Niall had given you a wave as he left and that was it.

But you didn't have time to worry about him, Uni work was keeping you busy and you had a massive project to hand in within the next two weeks. Sundays were your day off but you spent them doing course work. Most of the students in your block were hungover from the night before so the halls were quiet and you could concentrate.

After a couple of hours you were happy with how the project was going as you'd made really good progress. Once this was done you knew you would have to work on some revision for your exams. The whole idea of graduating was so daunting.

Deciding to take a break you threw on some flip flops and made your way out the door. The supermarket was less than ten minutes walk away and you decided to take a walk there and get some food for the week. With your hair piled up on top of your head and some comfy leggings matched with an oversized Uni sweatshirt on you made your way through the quiet streets of Battersea.

You loved living here, it's one of the reasons why you hadn't moved out of halls like your friends. Your two closest friends here, Hannah and Jess lived in a house share thinking they'd embrace the independence more there than the individual dorm rooms. However, staying in these didn't make you feel like you hadn't been independent. You just couldn't be bothered to move. The search for a flat share would have to become a priority though after this project was handed in; University life was ending for you.

Grabbing a basket as you entered the store you made your way to the fresh fruit first, grabbing some apples, grapes and bananas. You knew this store well and didn't need a lot so within ten minutes your basket was full and you made your way to the checkout.

Once you'd paid, you walked away shoving your purse in one of the bags that was clanking with the bottle of wine you'd brought when you collided with someone.

"Sorry, wasn't looking where......"

"Emma?"

"Niall......hi!" You smiled.

Shit, you looked a mess, had you brushed your teeth this morning?!

Yes, you had.

But you hadn't brushed your hair, choosing to just pile it on your head.

"How are you? Do you live around here?" He asked.

"Um, I'm good thanks. Yeah, my um hall of residence is about ten minutes from here."

Fuck you were stumbling over your words like an absolute twat.

He just nodded at you. God you were such an idiot. Why were you suddenly all tongue tied around him?

Maybe because you'd been fantasizing about him non stop since he left the cafe yesterday.

"Well, it was great to see you. I better go." You said quickly, pulling the handles of one of the bags over your shoulder.

"Yeah.........good to see you too." He smiled, giving you a wave.

You turned on your heel and walked away, pushing the hair that had come loose behind your ears. Great now you were blushing.

Walk quickly you thought.

"Emma wait!" He called out.

You stopped and slowly turned around.

"Do you need a lift?" He asked, making you blush even more.

Was he blushing to?

"No, I'm ok. It's not far." You replied.

"Honestly, it's no bother." He said as he indicated to his car across the car park.

"I mean......yeah that would be great."

"Here, let me take those." He said as he reached over and took the two bags you were carrying. Then the wine bottle clanked against a glass jar, making you cringe.

"See you've got all the student essentials!"  He laughed, somehow easing the awkwardness.

"Well as a third year who has to work as well I don't get to go out much." You replied laughing.

"You must be working hard with graduation just around the corner?" He said as he placed the two bags in the back seat of an Audi that probably cost more than twice your three years tuition fee.

"Yeah, revision and projects are taking over. Not long now and I'll have to use my degree in the real world." You smiled.

He smiled back and after closing the door he leaned across and opened the passenger door for you.

"Thanks." You mumbled to him as you got in the car.

Your halls of residence was just a ten minute walk so the car journey was even shorter and with your directions Niall pulled into the car park. Instead of stopping outside the door, he parked his Audi in a designated space.

"So um thanks for the lift."

"It was no problem, I'm in no rush today. Only popped out for some milk." He replied smiling.

There was an awkward silence for a moment and for some reason your mouth spoke the words before your brain could argue with you.

"Do you want to stay for a coffee then? If you're in no rush that is."

He finally turned to face you. "I'd like that."

For some reason now you were in the safety of your comfortable dorm room, you felt more relaxed. Kicking off your flip flops at the door, you took the bags that Niall had insisting on carrying up and placed them on the small counter at the kitchenette.

"Its not much, but normal for a dorm room." You said as you watched him look around.

"It's a nice space. You've got a great set up here with the kitchen area and then your working area. Are you doing design or something?" He asked noticing your pin board above it with pictures of various living rooms.

"Yeah, studying interior design and doing a business course along side it. Been working on my final project for it this morning. It's why I took a break to the supermarket and why I look a mess!"

"You don't look a mess, far from it." He replied softly, once again not being able to reach your eyes as he spoke.

"So um coffee?" You asked.

Making your way over to the kitchenette you started the kettle and began unpacking your shopping. There wasn't much so it didn't take long, and soon the kettle was clicking off.

"So what are your plans for after Uni?"

"Well I really don't want to go back to live with my parents so I'm going to rent a studio flat, hopefully around here and work at the bar and cafe until I find a proper job. Well that's the plan!" You said, as you handed him his coffee.

"Have you started looking for jobs yet?" He asked as he took a seat in your arm chair.

It was then that you noticed Niall was looking at the vase of flowers sitting on the table next to your desk. The card with his hand written message perched on the bouquet.

"I have yeah, just two for now. Both paid internships and one of them has the possibility of working in some of their European offices for work experience."

"What cities?"

"Paris, Berlin and Rome." You replied, as you took a seat on the edge of your bed, crossing your legs to get comfy.

"Wow, that would be amazing!"

"I know, just need to get the grade I'm predicted now. Would be amazing to live and work in a foreign city for a few months."

You spent the next hour chatting about your future plans and also Niall's recent tour. He had visited some amazing cities and you were incredibly envious. You kept dreading a lull in conversation, but it never came.

Niall talked about the building he was living in and showed you some photos. You knew his building as it was nearby. He had a beautiful layout and had taken advice on how to furnish it but had come up with most of the design ideas himself.

The nerves you had felt when you'd first seen him earlier in the afternoon at the supermarket had gone. The confidence you'd felt when you'd first met in the pub had returned.

The sun was setting across the park opposite your building and you switched on some lamps to light your room.

"I should get going." Niall said, as he reluctantly stood up from the comfort of your arm chair. "Leave you to get on with some work."

"Yeah, I should probably get on with some revision." You smiled.

"What days do you work?" He asked as he placed his empty mug by the sink.

"Thursday and Friday night and then Saturday all day." You replied.

"So you might be free Wednesday night?"

He looked at you at you nervously, waiting for your reply.

"I might." You answered, trying not to smile too widely.

"I have tickets to the Lewis Capaldi gig in Brixton if you fancied going?"

A date?!

You paused for a second, trying to not seem too eager to reply.

"I mean my cousins and some friends are coming too."

So it wasn't a date. You could deal with that.

Having spent the afternoon in his company, you had seen how he was funny, charming and intelligent and you were more than happy to keep things as friends in order to spend more time with him.

"That sounds great, I'd love to."

"Here," he said as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Add your number in here and I'll text you the details."

You took his phone from him, entering your name and number into the device before handing it back to him.

"Ok, so I'm definitely going now." He said, laughing softly.

"I'll walk you out, these halls are like a maze."

You stood on the steps on your building and gave Niall a wave as he got in his car and drove away. You hadn't for a second thought that you'd ever see him again after his appearance at at the pub last weekend. Him turning up at the cafe yesterday and literally bumping into him at the supermarket had been surreal. 

And now you got to spend time with him again in three days time.

Part Two

https://niall-is-my-dream.tumblr.com/post/186468644173/lost-without-you-part-two

[mint-kook]

Haunted || Kim Namjoon

♡  Request: This may be a bit confusing but idk how to word it I just imagined it in my head. Could you do a angst Tory where the reader had these haunting dreams about a man who she does not know (namjoon) and one day she meets him when she's leaving her therapy session. Idek what this is.

♡ word count: 1.6k

It was the sound of the door opening that attracted your attention and drew your eyes across the room. You took in the shape of the stranger walking inside, the brown haired boy approaching the bed slowly in an attempt not to alarm you.

But it was too late. The moment you had realized who it was, you felt your pulse quicken and your breathing elevate. Fear raced through your veins and continued to absorb every last little bit of calm that was in your body.

He looked at her, the street lights through the window illuminating his eyes and the streaks of red that coated his features. The liquid seemed to run down his face, trailing and dripping down onto the floor.

The hardwood had been stained red under him, the trail following him into the room and continuing to leak and line the solid flooring. Your eyes widened as you continued to take in his form, pacing closer and closer to you, the edge of the bed dipping under his weight as he sat down next to you and stayed quiet.

It was the smile that graced his face that caused chills to run up and down your spine. The way his lips stretched to reveal teeth as sharp as knives, the bone-chilling smile almost taunting you about the things you feared. Your breath came in shaky and you stayed completely still, sure that even the slightest movement would set him off and put your life at risk.

“It’s time to wake up now, young one. Wake up before you can’t anymore.”

You shot up in your bed, gasping for breath and trying to catch the air that had quickly escaped from your lungs. Your entire body was soaked in sweat, the sheets underneath you completely saturated and covered in the fear that had plagued you throughout the nightmare.

Without blinking you leaned over to your bedside table and flicked on the lamp, letting the light wash over the room and illuminating the empty space. It was empty, completely and boringly bare. The nightmare had disappeared, but the memories of it continued to wash over you and coat the back of your eyelids.

You shivered as the cold air seemed to make its way across your body and you knew you were going to have to shower and change the sheets before you could fall back asleep.

It had been an ongoing thing for weeks now. Every night you would fall asleep with the promise of sweet dreams before you found yourself trapped in the same horrendous experience. It was always the same man, tracking blood into your bedroom and sitting on your bed, giving you some type of warning that would haunt you when you woke up in the morning.

Your journal had become filled with the countless retellings, all of them detailing the events you had witnessed in your dreams, always describing the same man and something new he had told you. A sigh left your lips as you got up from your bed and left the room, heading towards the bathroom where you decided you would finally shower.

The clock flickered 7:00 am and you knew there was no bother in going back to sleep. Soon enough you would have to get up anyways to head out to your therapy session where you would let your counselor know of the new dream and how you hadn’t slept again.

You stripped in the bathroom, reaching into the shower to turn on the water. Steam quickly filled the room and you took no more than a second to step into the warm spray and let it pound against your back. The hot water cascaded around you and you could feel your muscles slowly relaxing, the stench of sweat slowly dissipating away and flowing down the drain.

You scrubbed your body, letting the soap and water mix together until you were completely sure you were clean. Letting the rest of your worries head down the drain as well, you turned off the water and stepped out, grabbing a towel from underneath the sink where you kept them in the cupboard.

You wrapped yourself in the fluffy fabric, letting it soak up the water and preparing to go to your therapy session. You stepped out into the hall, heading back into your room and pulling a set of undergarments before throwing on some black leggings and a large sweater you had picked up from the thrift store a couple of days ago.

You threw your hair into a ponytail, not bothering to brush it as you moved quickly around your apartment. The sound of the air conditioning kicked on throughout the entire apartment and you started to hum quietly under your breath as you walked around.

It wasn’t until you were putting on your shoes and grabbing your purse that you realized you were humming a song you didn’t know. It wasn’t just some random tune you had ever heard, it was completely new -- and you had no idea where it had come from.

“Oh my, my, my--” you sang along to the tune softly before shaking the song out of your head and opening the door. You slung your bag over your shoulder and stepped out into the hall, closing your door behind you.

Therapy sessions had become a regular occurrence for you, lasting almost as long as the nightmares had been themselves. When you had first started having the dreams about the strange man, you decided to consult a therapist to try and figure out if there was any hidden meaning behind them.

Now you found yourself going only so you would be able to talk about the nightmares and get them off your chest without sounding entirely crazy. Your therapist knew it had been an ongoing problem, knowing that there was something wrong and trying to help you discover the root of it.

You continued to think about everything that had happened recently as you walked down the road to the offices that were only a small distance away from your building. You had chosen somebody close by, as you didn’t have a car to drive there and you didn’t entirely trust yourself with all of the nightmares that had been going on recently.

Cars raced by, passing as a blur as you continued to walk silently. The thoughts continued to plague your mind but you didn’t bother brushing them away, letting them come to the surface and playing again like a movie on repeat.

The building approached your line of view and you sighed in relief as you walked inside the building. It was cold, the temperature having dropped overnight becoming obvious in the new area. You walked over to the elevator and made your way up to the third floor where your therapist resided.

You were welcomed in quickly and sat down in the chair that you had become so comfortable in. You shook off your shoes as you normally did at this point and curled up in the chair, letting your therapist get comfy before you spoke up.

“I had another nightmare last night,” she nodded along to your words, scribbling some notes on the clipboard she held before setting it down on the table between the two of you. It was something that the two of you had established.

Upon arriving for your first session your therapist had noticed how nervous her writing had made you so it had become a staple in your sessions that you sit and talk like normal people before going over it again and asking questions.

“Was it the same as usual?”

“Not really. He appeared again obviously, but he was covered in blood. This time he told me to wake up before I couldn’t anymore,” your sentence trailed off as you let the thoughts come back into your head. “He had sat on my bed like usual, but there was something else that I felt. I can’t remember it now.”

The two of you continued to talk about what the dream entailed, how the imagery could be a reflection of what you were feeling. You tried to think about all of things that were stressing you out recently but you couldn’t place anything.

You weren’t sure what your body was trying to tell you, what it was warning you against. The cryptic message about not waking up continued to linger in the back of your head as you continued to talk with your therapist and discuss what you would do that day to work out the dream at home.

It wasn’t long before the session was coming to an end and it was time for you to leave. You wished your therapist a goodbye, promising that you would see her again in the next couple of days for your next session before you went to step out of the room.

As you stepped out of the room you found your path blocked by something, and you looked up quickly to try and see what it was. Your eyes traveled up the body blocking in front of you and your breath caught in your throat.

The man you had seen, the man who had been entering your room in your dreams, the one saturated in blood and speaking words that you had never yet been able to decipher. He stood in front of you now, looking down at you and letting a small smile grace over his lips.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

You didn’t say a single thing as you rushed away quickly, practically pushing the man away from your body and running over to the elevator you had arrived in. Your hand slammed against the buttons as you watched the guy standing at the end of the hall.

For a split second just before the doors closed, you could have sworn you had seen the same bone-chilling smile that had haunted you the night before.

[catsandstrawberries]

Real Family: 7

Pairings: BTS x teen female reader, platonic love

Warnings: Language, neglect, descriptions of a panic attack and past child abuse  

A/N: What do you guys think about this too far? Is it moving too slow too fast? I really want to know what you guys think uwu. Also, the image below is the photoshoot, its supposed to be a rainbow.....

Summary: It’s not blood that makes a family. It’s love.

Masterlist 

Jungkook had brought me to the sixth floor, filled with bright lights, screens, cameras and multiple clothes hanging on racks. Multiple tables laid out in the room behind the camera, some were covered in makeup, other hairspray, hair dryers, and hairbrushes.

“Why did Bang ask me to get coffee if he doesn't even drink it?” Jungkook faltered slightly in his steps and I pretended not to notice. I knew why he had asked me or at least guessed that he wanted to talk about me to the boys without me knowing. Would Jungkook tell me the truth?

“He-e, um, just wanted to prep us on the photo shoot and he didn't want you to hear about the surprise.”

Then how come Jungkook told me about the ‘surprise’ so quickly? Instead of calling him out on his lie I just nodded along as he brought me over to the makeup station.

“(Y/N) ah, don't I look handsome?” Jin fluttered his eyes at me as his makeup stylist searched on the table for something. To be honest, Jin did look handsome. The sheen of foundation on his face made him look younger and the light contour on his cheeks and nose really brought out his features.

“(Y/N) you should be nice to Jin no one ever tells him he's handsome.” I smiled at Jimin's comment as he leaned his elbow on Jin's shoulder. Jin promptly slapped the boy on the arm, 

“do you want to die?” I chuckled at Jin's comment and the glare on his face, but as soon as the laugh escaped my throat all eyes soon turned to me. Tae all of a sudden appeared behind me and I suddenly became uncomfortable with all the eyes on me. 

“(Y/N) I've never heard you laugh before,” Jimin stated, eyes wide. “It's nice,” He added and for a moment I questioned if they were just saying that because personally, I believed my laugh sounded like a dying hyena. But, once I saw the complete genuine looks on their faces I couldn't help but smile. 

“Ok boys let's get you changed.” The boys suddenly scrambled away from me being dragged by makeup and hair stylists to add the final touches before the shoot. An arm was wrapped around my shoulder and I winced at the sudden touch. Whoever was touching me however didn't notice. “(Y/N) I want you to be in this shoot.”

My eyes widened at Bangs words, “seriously, why?” I wasn't nearly as pretty to be in a shoot with the boys, no matter how much makeup they put on my face. Why would they put my face out there, “don't worry it's nothing serious, we just want your hair.” I raised an eyebrow at the man, nervously pulling at my red locks, “my hair?”

How long did it really take to do someone's hair? Because sitting in the hard wooden chair that made my ass ache, it felt like I had been sitting for hours. My hair wasn't even that long, it just fell below shoulder length, and the most the hairdressers had done was put a bunch of hair product in my hair then proceed to curl it. I tried not to show my impatience and instead sat quietly while Hoseok made funny faces at me while they put the finishing touches on his hair. From what Bang had told me they wouldn't be showing my face, and instead would be giving the Army a sneak peek into who I was. Which apparently was my hair. The hairdresser, a female who hasn't talked to me the whole time firmly tied a bow into my hair and gave my shoulder a pat. 

“You're good to go.” At her words, I practically jumped out of my seat bounding towards the camera ready to be up and moving. I stretched my sore joints watching as the seven boys all posed together, hugging and smiling. Even the cold, heartless Yoongi had a smile on his face. Each of the boys had a different color of the rainbow, Taehyung was red, Jin orange, Jungkook yellow, Hoseok Green, Jimin blue, Yoongi Pink and Namjoon Purple. After the photo shoot, they would all scramble colors and I would be the start of the rainbow with my red hair. 

“Good job boys, get changed while I take pictures of the girl.” I ignored the sting of annoyance at the photographer once he called me, ‘the girl.’ It wasn't like I had a name or anything. I walked over to the photographer and after some simple instruction like, ‘stand here,’ and ‘tilt your head,’ I prayed he was a better photographer then Lifetouch. After a few clicks and a gasp, I turned to find Bang looking on a monitor, “those look great Erik!” My cheeks suddenly got red while Yoongi and Hoseok approached the monitor, “dongsaeng these are really good.” I didn't really know why they were praising me, all I had done was stand there if anything the hairdresser should get the recognition. My eyes drifted to Yoongi who simply shrugged while glaring at the monitor. I tore my eyes from the scene when the photographer called out for Jimin, his assistants replacing the white background with an orange paper. I quickly exited knowing I wasn't needed only to be pulled in by the waist by another body, 

“(Y/N) take a picture with me.” Tae pointed a phone in front of his face and did his signature V sign that I had seen so much around the office in his pictures. “Why are we taking a picture?” I averted my gaze from the camera to Tae’s fluffy pink hair and instead of answering me he shushed me and told me to just do it. Instead of arguing I pouted before turning back to the camera and smiling at the iPhone. Tae took a few pictures before lowering the screen and smiling at the images, “(Y/N) what's your Instagram, I'll tag you.” I stared at the device in his hands and back up to Taehyung, tilting my head in confusion. “Instagram? I actually don’t have a phone.” Tae whipped his head up at me but before he could say anything Erik was calling for him. “Um, hold that thought.” He raced off towards the production team while I dumbly stared at the empty space in front of me, I used to have an iPod but one of the younger girls got ahold of it and ‘accidently’ put it in the blender when Katie was making a smoothie. She got adopted the next day so I couldn't really hold a grudge against her. Once I saw the boys taking more pictures I decided we wouldn't be going anywhere soon and decided to sit at one of the couches in the corner of the room. In hindsight that may not have been the best idea since I didn't get any sleep last night, and the couch felt really comfy. Sooner than expected I was laying on the couch, thankful that it was in a section away from prying eyes and fell asleep.

~

    My skins boiling, heating up like my blood’s a boiled toxin and my body is the cauldron. Sweat is dripping down my body and I'm overwhelmed by my dark surroundings. A ringing in my ears starts to gradually grow to a burning, merging with a primal scream that overflows my senses. The sound is urgent, desperate, a scream that only a young child could make. A scream of terror, of absolute fear, a scream that spoke ‘help me’ in bold letters that nobody cared to read. It doesn't take long for me to realize that the scream is one of my own, from my past. Images are bouncing around my sight, the banging on my door, the crying 10-year-old who hides under her bed. The shattering glass and blood dripping down my arm. I fall to my knees, covering my ears as if it could stop the sound. But I know the sound will never truly leave. Its marked into my ears like a tattoo, reminding me of who I am, what I am, and what I did.

    My eyes suddenly open, and in front of me is a confused looking Jimin, head tilted to the side. I'm immediately scrambling back to the other side of the couch noticing how close he was. 

“Are you ok?” I want to scream at his question, the pounding of my heart against my ribcage and the way I'm gasping for breath should prove that I'm not ok. I'm not ok.

“I'm f-fine.” I stutter, my voice is hoarse and dry. I lick my lips and suddenly I've never craved water so much in my life. Jimin's eyes widen slightly and he's tilting his head as if asking the question with his body language. 

“Are you sure?”

No.

“Yes. I'm fine, sorry, I just had a weird dream.” I stuttered, shifting my gaze from Jimin to see everyone packing up, none of the other boys in sight, thank God. “What time is it?” I ask groggily, rubbing at my eyes just as the bright lights of the studio start to blind me. “It's a little past five, we were going to get some dinner soon. Are you hungry?” Jimin's voice all of a sudden is so soft as if he could tell what just happened as if he's seeing through my facade. 

I hate it. 

“Yeah, a little bit.” I look down at my lap then notice the blanket over me. “Namjoon Hyung brought it, you looked so cold and one of the producers had a spare. You can just leave it here someone will grab it.” I nodded then gently folded it, placing it on the couch then standing up and following Jimin towards the elevator. There's a slight sway in my step and Jimin seems to notice because suddenly an arm is around my waist stopping me from falling to the ground. “Hey, wow be careful. You just woke up maybe sit down for a moment.” I nod, half processing his words and slump in the corner of the large elevator, eyes glazing over as I begin to process the dream.

“(Y/N) we’re here.” Jimin motions towards the open doors of the elevator and I quickly stand up, walking with Jimin towards the back entrance. I don't really know where I'm going, considering this was my first time in the building and I had only entered from the front entrance. So I decided to stick close to Jimin, “will there be cameras outside?” I pouted at my own question, not feeling ready for the bright lights and loud screams. He patted my head gently, mumbling something about how he loved that I was shorter than him before clearing his throat. 

“No this leads towards the private parking lot where the boys are.” He opens the door, leading to an indoor parking space. The lights giving an ominous glow and the only thought that enters my mind is how someone always dies in indoor lots during horror movies. A black limousine pulls up and the chauffeur is exiting quickly, opening the door for the two of us and I slide in, muttering a thank you. Once in the car, I find Namjoon once again furiously typing on his phone, and a giddy Jungkook practically jumping in his seat. “(Y/N), we were going to get take out from Panda Express, is that ok?” I nod, ignoring Tae whos doing a little dance in his seat, mumbling Panda Express. He must really like their food. “What do you want to order?” All of a sudden, a sense of drowsiness overtakes me and food is the last thing on my mind right now. “Um, actually I'm not that hungry, I feel really tired.” Everyone turns to me in worry, except for Yoongi, of course, whos ignoring me like usual. Jin reaches over from his seat gently touching my forehead but as soon as his fingers are touching my skin I'm flinching back, causing an awkward sound of my head hitting the seat to break the silence.

“(Y/N), we aren't going to..” Hoseok pauses as if looking for the right words and reality suddenly hits me (No pun intended.) I've been so obvious with the boys, letting them see right thru me, maybe I thought if they saw the real me they'd bring me back. Everyone eventually does. “You're safe with us, we aren't going to hit you.” I whimper at his words, and suddenly hate how I'm squished between Namjoon and Jimin, and how all of the attention was on me. I bite my lip so hard to keep tears from overflowing that the metallic taste of blood soon fills my mouth. I pray that the physical pain will somehow even out the emotional. Jungkook clears his throat, and I turn towards him. Both of his hands are behind his back and his giddy smile has morphed into a sad smile. “This probably isn't the best time, but we got you something.” He reveals a box from behind his back, with the words Apple iPhone XR on the side, and a red bow taped to the top. “You said you didn't have a phone so I thought we should get you one. You'll need it to communicate with us anyways.” I looked back in forth between the Tae and Jungkook, and suddenly tears are welling up in eyes from pure happiness. No one had ever done anything this nice for me before. 

“I've never owned a phone before. Are you guys sure? It looks expensive.” It comes out automatically and I don't miss the proud smiles gracing both their features. 

“Of course we're sure. It was my idea,” Tae unnecessarily adds in, causing Jungkook to give him a glare. 

“Seriously Tae,” he turns back to me, “I bought the bow.” Jin suddenly surges forward in his seat, 

“Hey! Who was the one who spent their money to buy her the phone? And who was the one that stopped Tae from accidentally buying her a Hello Kitty Phone? But did I take the credit? No!” Before the fight can escalate I start laughing, not just the chuckle from before but seriously laughing. I wipe my imaginary tears from my face looking at basically all of the boys, (except Yoongi who sneered at me but even his bad attitude wouldn't falter what I was about to say) “thank you so much.” I put as much genuinity as I can into the four words, not necessarily thanking them for the phone, but for the memories, they've given me. They seemed to actually like me.

How long would it take before that changed.

[dxlansfxck]

Saints & Sins [G.D] Part 07

“Tell me, do you know Grayson? It seemed like you looked pretty intimate, but he’s never talked about you. He could never know you from here, because he spent all his time with me”, Y/N moves her feet in the water so that they create tiny waves, while she watches Luke carefully. The little lake in front of the waterfall was actually big enough to take a swim in there, but the bright sun in combination with the beautiful green meadow was too tempting to not lay down and sunbathe for a while. The fresh couple, if I may say so, doesn’t look over to Y/N, his gaze straight on the water. “I don’t know Grayson. I thought I would’ve known him”, he stops talking, swallows hardly while Y/N waits for him to continue. 

“We’re both from the same rural area, I kind of grew up with him but we would never consider each other friends. I don’t know how to describe it; do you remember when your mum made you be friends with someone because she was friends with their mother? That’s what our relationship was like as kids. We spent time together while our mothers ate cake, but we’ve never had the same interests. But when we were somewhere in between 13 and 15, we told our parents we would have a sleepover, but of course we went to our first official house party. Little Luke’s first contact with alcohol – you can’t imagine how bad I felt the next day”, he smiled a little, which made Y/N smile as well, but his didn’t last. “We were deadass drunk, but because none of the people there were actually 21, all we had was cheap beer and wine mixed with juice, let me tell you, that shit’s disgusting! Because we were so drunk, we couldn’t sleep at home, so we slept at this dude’s house. We couldn’t even close our eyes for a second without thinking we had to vomit all over the place, so we talked about serious stuff – as serious as two drunk kids could talk – and somehow, we came upon the sex-topic. Both of us haven’t had any experience, never had an actual kiss but we also didn’t want to go out unprepared. This evening ended with us practicing our kissing skills on each other, we kind of made out, had our first non-self-made orgasms. We kept on doing that the entire next year until we had real sex. I was in love, for sure, but he had this weird group of friends, I guess you know them by now. Those drug junkies which Grayson seems to be a part of again. Back in the days he just smoked weed, but our ‘relationship’ got distant, he did anything to get more and more to smoke, one day I wasn’t just important enough for him. I was in his way because I wanted him to stop, but he broke my heart. I couldn’t stand being around him anymore, so I came here to study and I thought I’d never see him again. Then I saw him arrive a few months ago, you can’t imagine how I felt, Y/N. I thought he’d make a move on me again or he followed me to this place, but he only had eyes for you”, his voice broke, he sounded sad and dismissive. Y/N was shocked about his sudden mood swings, but he smiled at her. “I can’t blame him, you’re beautiful, Peach. Too perfect for Grayson to ever be enough for him”, his hand caressed her cheek, while their eyes met. Soon enough, their lips went into a fight, tongues dancing against each other and minds finally not thinking about Grayson. They fall back into the soft grass and don’t even realize how soon the sun is going under and the moon is shining bright in the night sky.

Once Y/N headed back into her room, exhausted and pretty tired, she was glad to see that Grayson was gone. His bed was messy, his duffel bag on top of it. Hesitantly, she stepped in front of it, trying to peek inside without touching it. Some of his shirts were hanging out of it, underwear and socks were just stuffed into it, this bag was a mess – Grayson wouldn’t even recognize if Y/N looked inside of it. And if he did, what would he do about it? Determined, she kneeled down in front of it, slowly making her way through the bag to find any hints. Her hands met some bags of weed and some pills, but no Heroin or Coke, nothing.

“May I help you, angel? Never thought you’d be like those girls, but now you’re even searching through my bag.” Grayson’s raspy voice made Y/N jump so badly, that she hit her toe on the bed. Whelping, she turned around and tried to look as innocent as possible. “Gray, I… Oh, whatever”, she was tired of explaining, tired of being worried and she was angry. The rage was back and she was about to break out everything she hated about him, but decided to stay still, sat down in front of her desk and tried to ignore him. “Sure”, he sat down on his bed and looked at her. His eyes were tiny and red, he was high again. The sight of him made Y/N almost tear up, so she quickly turned her head to look away. How could someone destroy himself without even realizing?

“How’s things with Luke?” His voice sounded resigned and casual, why was he like this? He didn’t even notice how hurt she actually was. “Couldn’t be better, I’m happy”, she mumbled while grabbing a pencil and starting to draw. “I’m glad he’s at least a good fuck, couldn’t leave my girl unsatisfied, y’know. Oh and I almost forgot: he’s clean. Must be totally your type, clean nerdy guy, huh? Didn’t you tell me you hated all of those people when we first met? Now you’re one of them, angel.” Y/N’s finger cramped around the pencil, making it draw wild lines onto the paper, similar to her thoughts.

“I remember it like it was yesterday, when I fucked Luke. When he lost his virginity to me. Back in the days, I thought he was totally into girls”, he laughed his beautiful laugh, almost making her give in, wouldn’t his words hurt her so much, “until I had my dick deep down his ass and he realized how nice of a fuck I am.” “Grayson, why-“ “Did you fuck already? Do you know what kind of sick games he likes to play in bed? Well, I would’ve never thought that of him, luckily we had enough trust into each other to try out anything. I hope same goes out to you, you tend to really easily trust people, I mean you even took part in an orgy, I mean… Wow. You shouldn’t have difficulties with him then”, he examines her appraising. She quickly grabs her headphones, trying to get lost in her Spotify-Playlist. A few moments passed in silence, just Y/N and her music, while her drawing is about to be completed.

She jumped out of her chair as she felt Grayson’s lips on her neck, his hands trembling her chest. An involuntarily growl left her throat, while her stomach began to tingle. “Fuck, Dolan”, she turned around to him, grabbing his by his throat and pressing him against the nearest wall. “What’s your fucking problem?” „Not having you, that it my problem. Losing you to Luke is killing me.” Y/N snorts, interrupting him. “Your fucking Heroin-addiction is what really kills you, you fucking bastard!” “And letting you leave, that’s my biggest problem. I will forever regret letting you go because I know I’ll never find someone that loves me like you did. Nobody that…”, again, his angel interrupted him, this time to press her lips against his. Losing her grip on his throat to grab a fistful of hair, tugging him closer. Her other hand roams his bony chest underneath his shirt, making him breathe in sharply. “Fuck”, his words gave her goosebumps, but a clapping noise behind them make them step apart. Luke was standing right behind them. “Luke, I…” “It’s alright, Y/N. I know how good Grayson’s acting skills are, they got even better since I last met him.” Then her somehow-boyfriend’s fist bash against the-guy-she-still-kinda-loves’ jaw – which left her kind of overwhelmed with the entire situation.

Y/N did what her instincts told her, she hadn’t had enough time to think through it, so she tried to catch Luke’s next fist – which of course hit her directly in the stomach. Coughing, her legs gave in and she sunk onto the ground. “Fuck, Luke…”, her chest heavily rising, she glanced up at the dudes. Both pairs of eyes were watching her in fear, both prettier than the other. Even Grayson’s matte, stump eyes would never lose their beauty. The only difference between them were their expressions.

Her current boyfriend seemed to be shocked, somehow even angry.

The guy she still has feelings for watched her in admiration, full of respect and awe – something she hasn’t seen in a long time.

“What the fuck, Y/N? You’re defending him? This son of a bitch broke you, remember? You can be glad to be out of the thing you two had!” “Don’t listen to him, angel. You know we’re meant for each other. You love me as much as I love you, I can really stop doing drugs, I would do it for you. Cold Turkey, from now on.”

„Oh, really? I feel like I’ve heard that before. And where are you now, hm? Eyes like pins, veins filled with poison. Do you really want Y/N to live that life? You’re destroying her like you’ve destroyed yourself. If you really love her, you’ll leave her.”

Y/N was still laying on the ground, listening to every spoken word. Trying to process what was happening, watching each of their faces in fear. She waited for Grayson to answer, tears starting to form in her eyes. “Why don’t we leave the decision for our angel? It is her choice whom to love, if she really wants to love a fucked up junkie, you can’t change that. C’mere, angel.” Grayson pats his thigh, smiling at her lovingly, making her heart melt.

“Y/N, you know what’s best for you. A world with a future in it, maybe smoking weed here and there, but not being addicted to all the toxic stuff”, now Luke’s hand was ready for her to grab – and she had to make a decision. She shook her head at both of them, grabbing her jacket instead and heading out of her room without choosing one of the guys – she had to think and she had to be alone for it.

Once she came back, the room was empty as always. Sighing, she fell onto the bed, trying to find a comfy position and listens to the howling wind while drifting into a dreamless sleep.

“Oh, fuck, angel, keep on going”, a raspy voice next to her made her open her eyes but she soon realizes it was Grayson, laying on his bed, eyes closed and lips parted. His chest was heavily rising while there was a prominent bulge visible in his shorts. “You look so fucking hot, kneeling in front of my cock, c’mon, take it”, his hand wanders down to his errection while Y/N couldn’t help but watch. Was he really having a wet dream about her? It was pointless to ignore that she was soaking wet by now, her last time having an actual orgasm was back when they were still together. It was just normal for her to be horny as fuck.

As soon as Grayson’s hand was wrapped around his cock, Y/N lightly caressed her folds, collecting all her juices and rubs them over her clit. A quiet moan escaped her lips which made her press her free hand over her mouth. She was still watching him, copying his movements, panting louder than before.

“Fuck, repeat that, angel. Fuck, yes.” Gasping, Grayson cums all over his own hand and his abs, while Y/N couldn’t hold it back anymore and coming undone as well. She was still watching him, trying to catch her breath, but he was still asleep, even smiling a bit now. But she knew her night was over, so she stood up and decided to have a shower to really wake up and maybe get a free mind out of it.