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memyselfandmya · 9 days

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CHAOS THEORY S1 REVIEW

So after a day to process the show, I think I am more than ready to finally talk about it and give a full on review. [HINDSIGHT: This review took two days to put together, having to rewatch the show for evidence and to strengthen my ideas, and then having to organize it into something that makes sense. Just know that this is essentially my messy love letter to the show] I will be taking on a more objective perspective and focusing more on the writing aspect rather than my personal feelings, especially as a writer and hopefully future screenwriter. So let's get into it, heavy spoilers below the cut. Like as in I pick out little details that alone might not be a spoiler but I make them into a spoiler.

For starters, the show exceeded my expectations and the writing was phenomenal. Even when choices were made that I personally might not agree with or necessarily want, the execution of them was incredible so I couldn't really care to hate them. Overall, I have no heavy qualms with the show and I loved every moment of it.

It was complex and it was messy and I thoroughly enjoyed that. There's so much going on action-wise, character-wise, and mystery-wise and it's amazing how well balanced it is. What we get is real and raw and largely uncensored. We get conflict between two brothers, conflict between two girlfriends, moments where trust is lacking, and so so much more. It all feels very natural and realistic because that's how real people truly are: complex and messy. Also, even when these characters are going through all of these conflicts, you can still tell that they're family and they love each other.

The creators don't shy away from the trauma either, we get flashbacks, explicit mentions of PTSD and mental health issues, and we actually see Kenji having a panic attack, too. When I tell you, the way these characters were brought to life was so amazing. For all of this to still be considered a kids show is incredible and rarely ever seen. I'm gonna go more in depth with the complexity stuff later on, probably when I get more to the character analysis part of this review.

I like how we get to see more dynamics between groups that we didn't see much of in CC: Ben and Brooklynn, Sammy and Ben, Brooklynn and Yaz, etc.

The humor in this show is top-tier and very much natural. Hardly any of it feels forced and it's very much in-character. Just in general, all of the feelings in this show were amazing. It was a rollercoaster of emotions watching this. I felt happy, I was devastated, I laughed a lot, I felt bad for the characters, I was upset and mad, I was scared (oh boy was I scared), and I was tense with anticipation.

Going off of these feelings, the overall tone of the show was incredible. They said that it'd be darker and it was. There were so many times where I myself was scared and wondered how this show was still TV-Y7. There were so many ominous moments and here are some that I noted:

The moment that black car on the road actually does start following them. You can hear the whistle in the background of ep.3 before the raptors actually come in. Carl’s dead body in the car, and the view of his limp hand. In general the scene where they’re being hunted at the ranch, it’s reminds me of playing hide and seek with my cousins but 10x more darker and with higher stakes. “I don’t hear anything.” “Exactly.” Ugh these moments always hit well. The shoes of the dead police guard. Microbang lady whistling and then stepping out of the car The DPW aiming for the van The allosaurus being released from the vehicle. The dinosaurs watching the dude get eaten. The garage door opening, revealing micro bangs and then all of the dinosaurs falling silent. The moment where she picks up her whistle because we all know what happens next. When the atrocirapotor picks up the camper’s scent. You can see the small smile on Microbangs' face when she realizes the kids are there.

I love the rearview/sideview mirror shots, it really symbolizes the constantly looking over your shoulder because you’re being hunted aspect of the show. It adds suspense and questioning which is perfect for a conspiracy show.

I love the use of Chekhov's Gun and foreshadowing. All of my examples may be exaggerations or unintentional but I'm going to stick with it anyways. In ep.2 when the boys are at the gas station, there are signs that say "Report All Spills!" (maybe these are typically at gas stations, idk) which makes sense because you don't want gas on the ground especially because it's so flammable and then I saw the gas pump fall and gas spill out and I had a feeling about what was going to happen next. Sure enough, a fire started. Also in ep.3, when Sammy steps on the creepy floorboard and she's trying to remember where her pitchfork is, and then when they're being hunted, Sammy knowing to avoid stepping on that board only to stumble into the pitchfork that she had been looking for. Also, the King Dino billboard at the beginning of ep.4.

The animation was stunning and the cinematography(?) was breathtaking. We got so many wonderful views.

The pacing is so good. I’m not going to go over it because that’d be a lot but basically everything felt in the right moment.

I like in ep.2 how we’re introduced into the very first scene with Brooklynn’s new VA. We have Ben being woken up by a mysterious phone call and a mysterious voice on the other line that we don’t recognize. Who is this mysterious, unknown woman? It’s Brooklynn!

There are people who don't like the fact that Darius and Kenji are arguing again and who think that it's a reused plotline that shouldn't be and I understand the feeling of wanting something different but I also have to disagree. While it is the same thing we have in CC, I genuinely can't think of a different way this could have gone that wasn't more in-character than this. The reason why it's being reused is because that part about Kenji hasn't changed. While he's gone through some amazing emotional development, he still deeply cares about his friends and also about trust. Him not liking it when people play with their lives can still be an important value to him, even with his growth. And I personally feel like in this scenario Kenji's anger and his hurt was especially more justified than in CC because in this case, Brooklynn actually "died" instead of just getting kidnapped. And while I don't blame Darius or hate him for not being there, it makes sense why Kenji does.

This time around, it's going to be a lot harder for them to get on good terms. I also like how this time, it's not as subtle and they are actively jabbing at one another. I also like how it's more mutual. Like with CC I was like, "leave my baby alone, kenji, he's just a little innocent kid." and now I'm like "oh shit, Darius you ate with that." Even when they're arguing, they do still care for each other and there are moments where they still support the other. Then there are the little things that causes Kenji's anger to resurface like the password thing so more fuel is constantly being added. And then the "you and me, we're brothers right?" is absolutely gut wrenching.

One thing I appreciate is how Kenji isn’t even really mad at Darius anymore. Not for him liking Brooklynn, anyways. To me this shows a heightened emotional maturity. Especially since in CC we saw him be petty with his anger towards Darius and even in the early episodes of CT but now he’s bypassing all of his personal qualms and getting to what matters most to him without the extra pettiness: why wasn’t he there for Brooklynn? Why wasn’t he there for the people he loves. Kenji’s relationship with Brooklynn isn’t important. The fact that Darius fell for his ex doesn’t matter. What matters to him is that Brooklynn, someone they both (all) deeply cared about died, and the guy who loved her wasn’t there when she needed him. The tenderness and the softness of this scene was way more impactful and sorrowful than had Kenji angrily went after Darius. This makes the conflict still feel different from the one we saw in CC. All in all, I think their conflict adds to the complexity and (realistic) messiness of it all.

Even though I’m not the biggest Brookenji/Kenlynn fan, seeing them drift apart was so disheartening to watch because you can tell that Kenji really cared about Brooklynn and he was putting so much effort into the relationship when Brooklynn was distracted. I like how even though I’m not a big fan of the ship, I’m still convinced to root for them which shows compelling writing. But the baby talk fucking ruined it. I’m back to not liking it. The whole breakup situation very much reminded me of the episode of CC where Brooklynn is late to the date because they were out investigating. Again, I’m glad that Kenji is sticking up for himself though, and distancing people when they need to be distanced. I also love the little detail of Kenji calling Darius’ mom every week. Just emphasizes that he’s still a family man and doesn’t forget the people who helped him.

“I’m in a really good place now, and I got here by myself.” This line is so impactful to me because in early CC we know Kenji to be lazy and somebody who expects everything to go his way without putting in the effort so this is, one, very symbolic of his development as a character, and two, explains why he’s so proud of where he is now and his business that he’s got going on--even if it doesn’t look to be as successful. It makes sense why he’d be so protective over what he’s made for himself. I really respect him for putting up that boundary because he’s so right; Daniel doesn’t deserve him much less to speak to him, and Kenji doesn’t deserve to put himself through that emotional turmoil when he’s finally reached a good place. I think it makes it even more impactful when he does choose to go especially because it’d be totally valid if he didn’t. And then not only being subject to more of his dad’s manipulation but also having to witness him die.

I’m actually surprised and very happy that Dreamworks didn’t go the redeeming Daniel route. I would have expected this kind of show to make Daniel forgivable but he’s still a bad person and a manipulative father who hasn’t changed much. To me it seems more realistic because Daniel doesn’t seem like a character who learns his lesson and it furthers the plot with the whole Brooklynn thing. Also, Daniel's sacrifice is not a redemption. He's still a bad character. I don't know if any of you are familiar with Dreamworks' other show, She-ra Princess of Power, but there's an abusive mother figure in it, Shadow Weaver, who also sacrifices herself for the characters she abused, but before that she was still manipulative the same way Daniel was. They both died before they could truly change their ways and atone for their actions which is why it's not a redemption. Daniel Kon did not redeem himself by saving Kenji.

I also actually like Daniel’s death, and no, not just because I hate him as a character. In season 5, he’s the big bad antagonist that the kids have to go up against, and he’s a real threat, right? Do the raptors care about Daniel’s villain era? Do they care that he was a big character in the OG show? No. And that shows that the writers don’t care either (but in a good way). Because we don’t have any of the main Nublar Six dying (except for Brooklynn sorta ig??), there’s a lot of opportunity to call plot armor and stuff and say that the writers are pulling their punches. But they’re willing to kill one of the big antagonists from CC in a random episode, so, to some extent, there is minimum plot armor. You can be a great big villain and still these dinosaurs will kill you.

Also, this gives us so much opportunity with Kenji’s character. We get to see what it looks like having to grieve the life of somebody who you hated and who abused you and yet still be devastated over his death. Showing Kenji breakdown over Daniel’s death adds an entirely new layer of complexity to the story line. It’s so much more impactful than having Kenji be apathetic towards his death or be like, “good riddance.” The detail of Kenji speaking at the end really gave all the more impact to the entire episode.

Kenji’s panic attack in ep.7 is really powerful. First, the wonderful cinematography (the watering of Kenji’s eyes, omg) and the 1st person pov segments. Then we have the voice acting, chef’s kiss. Just the flat out impact of this scene all together: Kenji balling his eyes out after the death of someone who doesn’t even deserve his mourning is heart wrenching. I hate Daniel and I’m glad he’s dead, but also seeing Kenji break down over it almost makes me wish he wasn’t. By far one of the saddest scenes in the show. Again the cinematography of it. Darius hugging a sobbing Kenji in the middle of a field with the car’s red lights beaming on them. Then Mateo just standing there awkwardly. LMFAO.

It’s cool because we have this gut wrenching moment and then we’re immediately brought into a feeling of awkwardness with this random new character there and it’s so jarring but fitting because you have these two moments where Kenji’s grief but also the need to keep moving coexist and one needs to take priority over the other but the other one is still important. I’m just saying we are feeling what the characters in the show feel, which is good. Then we have Kenji going ballistic on Mateo’s ass and man the emotions packed into the scene.

Also Mateo. I want to trust him, and I do. But there’s also a suspiciousness to him. I love him though. But, it felt oddly convenient that he was able to locate them so many times. He says that his daughter helped him track them but how does his daughter of all people track them when they’re moving all over the place and also the way he talks about her, “I’ve got a little girl back home,” and the pan over to the crayon drawing made me picture a young child. His story is interesting though, too, and complex for a side character. Just feels a bit like a suspicious deus ex machina.

I love how the others are so in tune with one another and then Mateo says something and they all jump, forgetting he’s there. They are all very much close with each other and oblivious to the people around them. He's definitely out of the loop. Darker thought, what if at some point (or now, even) his daughter gets kidnapped/held hostage by the hunters so he’s forced to mislead the camp fam in order to keep her safe?

The opening scene of ep.6 is top tier and I love how we’re getting right down deep into the good stuff, and by good stuff I mean the trauma. The portrayal of Yasmina’s PTSD is so incredible to see and all of the flashes of dinosaurs really put us in Yaz’s mind. Also the heartbeats sounds just make this an even more intense scene. What’s also amazing is that we see Yaz making progress with handling her trauma but she’s still struggling with it too. Complexity. What I also love is how Yaz’s PTSD has allowed her to become more equipped to manage her trauma more than the other campers have, and because she’s able to grasp a hold of it so well, she’s able to help Sammy manage her own anxiety, too.

I feel as if Ben is almost reverting back into his pre-Nublar self and also like the Ben we saw in CC’s “At Least…”. He’s become a lot more paranoid and on edge which is very interesting to see. Ben being completely wary of the gas station attendant and being unwilling to stop is a major display of Ben’s anxiousness. Could the fire in ep.2 be symbolism for Ben’s paranoia in that episode? I may be looking too deep into it, but think about it. The spilled gas is all of Ben’s conspiracies and theories; alone, it’s not much of an obvious problem but when paired with the right ignition, a spark or being hunted by raptors, for example, it turns into an uncontrollable problem. Ben’s paranoia causes him to be irrational and unconsolable just like that fire and needs to be be extinguished so it doesn't destroy anything. I also like the little detail of Darius noticing the car on the side of the road in ep.2 and becoming suspicious about it. But then Ben thanks Darius for keeping him grounded so Darius doesn’t mention anything about the car in order to not send him back to the state of paranoia he was in earlier.

Then we also see Ben’s anxiousness in the beginning of ep.4 about Bumpy. Seeing him so concerned about her really tugs on those heart strings because you can tell the love between them runs deep. The passion in ep.9 is so incredibly palpable especially when he’s panicking and crying at the sound of Bumpy being abused. I really felt that scene because I know that watching someone you love get abused and not being able to stop it is so emotionally overwhelming The emotion packed into that scene, holy shit.

I also just love how we’re allowing men to cry. It’s so normalized in media to have the guys always being tough and masculine men who never sheds a tear but we are really knocking down the toxic masculinity in this show and normalizing men displaying emotion (beyond anger). We see all of the boys in this show break down: Kenji, Ben, Darius, and never once does them crying make them embarrassed or emasculated. Even in CC, the boys were allowed to show feelings and it didn’t weaken their masculinity at all. It’s really powerful and I’m glad we’re stepping away from the “boys don’t cry” narrative.

Back to Ben’s character, I was a little bit disappointed with his character arc, or lack thereof, in the middle episodes. Sometimes it felt as if he was only there for comedic relief and was emotionally detached from Brooklynn’s death. Maybe there’s intent behind this but I’m not sure.

I don’t know what to think about the whole girlfriend thing. Maybe Ben just made up the girlfriend thing to get Sammy to get rid of her phone lmao but ended up running with it. I do love how everyone’s surprised about Ben having a girlfriend because me too guys, me too. And it’s not because he eats out of a boot and pees in a jar (it is) but because I thought he was gay. Like with the whole rejecting Yaz scene in CC always gave me that implication. Now, he could still always be bi or pan which would be just as cool, but still just the fact that he has a random ass girlfriend. But also how is he maintaining a long-distance relationship when he’’s completely cut off from the grid. A part of me wants to believe that Ben has a girlfriend especially when he questions why everyone is surprised but also… idk. Ben does seem to understand how Yaz is feeling with relationship stuff to a degree. But I don’t know. I like some of the theories I’ve seen: that Ben is being catfished by Brooklynn, in particular. In theory I giggle a bit but in practice that’d low-key be a fucked up thing to do to Ben’s emotions. I find it harder to believe that Ben is doing the girlfriend to cover up that he’s gay because he knows that his friends will be accepting (although doesn’t change that coming out to them could still be hard) but also because I feel like he would at least tell Yaz because in S5 of CC they had that deep talk about Yaz’s sexuality. A part of me believes that the cargo ship is going somewhere to Europe and when they get there Ben will call on his girlfriend for help. If she is real, I hope she's badass and pretty so she can contribute to the plot and I can fall in love with her. Wait, what? Maybe down the line when I have more theories about Ben and his supposed girlfriend I’ll make a separate post.

“Don’t you dare throw my phone out the window, Benjamin.” Sammy’s so much of a powerful force now. I love her fierceness and sassiness, it’s definitely a different look from her character in CC. But also, she’s still in character, just matured, changed, and acquired that “tough love” attitude. Paired with how a little later in the episode when she goes to save the dinosaurs, it shows how Sammy (and the rest of the characters) might have changed since CC but are still the same at their core. Very much getting flashbacks to the Art of Chill episode. Sammy still has the passionate sense of righteousness but with more attitude and I’m 100% here for it.

I also want to talk about the whole Sammy as a suspect thing. I love Ben and I’m glad they made up at the end but also can you imagine how hurtful it must be for Sammy? Like it sucks for her that a decision she made years ago (and was cleared up) in order to protect her family comes back to bite her, from one of her closest friends too. For one of her besties to not trust her must hurt a lot, especially after everything they’ve gone through together. Trust in general is an interesting motif in this show. We have Darius having to learn to trust Ben and his theories, the whole Darius and Kenji trust conflict thing, Ben being untrusting of Sammy at first, and Yaz and Sammy having to learn to trust each other again.

Back to Sammy’s character, I want to take a moment to talk about Sammy’s mental health; like she’s really not doing well and I’m genuinely worried about her. From CC we know her to be a very social person who’s rarely ever alone and we even have the episode in S5 of CC where her entire arc is learning to do stuff on her own. So in CT, seeing Sammy living all alone in Texas with nobody (nice) around is so jarring and worrying to me. That scene where she reunites with the boys is really sweet, especially knowing that it’s probably one of the first few moments where she’s not isolated from any of the people she loves. It’s also probably another reason why she’s even more “Sammy” than usual. Then you have Sammy saying, “Just busy. It’s only me around here with Yaz up north finishing school, and my parents…we just don’t talk much anymore, but that’s okay! I’m keeping busy.” We can definitely notice that Sammy is not handling this isolation thing well and her coping mechanism is very much busying herself. What I really want to know though is why Sammy isn’t talking with her family.

But back to the main point, it’s also the way that Sammy’s character naturally influences the plot and pacing of episode three. Ben and Darius have something urgent they need to tell Sammy but her inability to stay still is preventing them from doing so which creates a natural conflict.

Additionally, in retrospect Sammy's coping mechanism was obvious: the mock interviews we got where it’s said, “Back at home, Sammy Gutierrez maintained that positive attitude by staying busy. ‘I have my own ranch, now. And my girlfriend Yaz. And tons of pies to bake! We don’t have time to keep worrying about all that running for our lives stuff!’” Even before this, she’s fallen into that heavy positivity that’s borderline unhealthy by trying to shove everything under the rug. All of the positive sayings on her wall also feel symbolic of her trying to maintain a positive outlook on her life. Her line “I’m so sick of making pies,” while possibly just for humor and a throwaway line, it could represent how this false positive narrative that Sammy has going where she’s keeping busy around the house and baking pies isn’t satisfactory and is also crumbling. Maybe even the first pie burning could be symbolic of her positive life failing (or maybe I’m looking too deep into it). Also that scene where she straight up hallucinates and sees Brooklynn for a second? That scene is so haunting and utterly heartbreaking. This is sort of the nail in the coffin that Sammy is not doing well mentally at all. In this scene too, her sadness is also heavily emphasized. Her eyes watering is such a sad detail and also you can kind of notice that her under-eye area is dark and red too. This might just be the lighting, but I feel that it really emphasizes that Sammy is really struggling and all of this business and fake positivity is getting to her. And then immediately after, she deflects and continues what she’s doing. Darius begging Sammy to stop and Sammy’s response being, “Stop and think about Brooklynn dying, or my family not speaking to me, or Yaz pulling away from me? No… I can’t stop. I won’t.” There is a lot to unpack there. First, we have another mention that Sammy and her family aren’t talking and I want to know why. Secondly, she is definitely struggling with growing isolated from the people she loves and with Sammy’s character valuing her connections with her loved-ones it makes it all the more impactful. I wish we got to see more on this but then we get interrupted by the action just as Darius is about to say something. It's a really sad scene though. In ep.4 we see Sammy being more anxious, especially with Yaz not answering her calls. In that one scene after the parasaurolophuses, Sammy is completely distraught and it’s sad to see. I don’t even think she herself even fully realizes her mental health issues. The anxiety Sammy is experiencing is also highlighted in ep.7. Granted, they are in a sinking, soggy van and I’d be panicking too but damn. She’s also panicking in the beginning of ep.9, but now, instead of Sammy keeping her body busy from her mind, her mind is keeping her busy from her body and making her forget how to breathe.

“I know she doesn’t always answer, but at least she texts back or maybe just gives a thumbs up, even though she knows I hate those. Cause they give me passive-aggressive vibes, but I know she doesn’t mean it that way. But I got that girlfriend intuition that something ain’t right.” Poor Sammy, she is very clearly anxious about this whole thing and it especially shows with how she bounces her phone around. I like how this conflict between Yaz and Sammy is building up before they even see each other, starting with Yaz not answering the phone call and Sammy getting anxious. The split up thing also gave me a mini heart attack too Ben, don’t worry. “Why, did she say something?” Sammy, please. You’re not okay. In ep.6 with the “I’m working really hard to get my anxiety in check, but Sammy still treats me like a fragile flower,” again, I appreciate how we see the cracks in Yaz and Sammy’s relationship beginning to form even before the events of CT. The buildup is really strong in the show. Quick break but I have to say I just love Sammy’s profile picture they are so cute. Also, Yaz’s uncertainty about answering the phone call, too. The tension between them is clear as day on that phone call. And then we have Sammy coddling Yasmina by trying to hide the truth from her and it’s all in good intention, really sweet how Sammy wants to protect her, but is that what Yaz needs or wants? “Her PTSD is still affecting her that badly?" “Well, to tell you the truth, we really haven’t talked much lately. She’s so busy and when we do catch each other, she acts like everything’s good, but…” The conflict is so interesting because you have Yaz pulling away because of Sammy’s overbearingness and then when Yaz pulls away, Sammy gets anxious and therefore more overbearing so it just creates this cycle that could be put to a stop by communication but they’re both scared. Both of their coping mechanisms are doing damage to each other and so they fall back on these coping mechanisms even more. “Call it a hunch, or girlfriend’s intuition,” call it anxiety, Sammy. At this point everything she says or does is a subconscious cry for help. Back to the relationship conflict, it’s nice knowing that even if they are fighting, their fight is based off of wanting the best for the other and love. Also both of their feelings in this fight are valid, Yaz wanting Sammy to not treat her like she’s fragile and Sammy not wanting Yaz to pull away from her. Again with the cycle. Oof, the pain in her voice when Yaz says “you still treat me like a child instead of your girlfriend!” Kausar really ate with that. Anyways, we have that scene where they almost down and Yaz calms Sammy proving to her that she’s not as fragile as Sammy thinks she is. Then when they get out we have a resolution moment where Yaz says, “I guess we need each other, huh?” Showing that, instead of that unbalance of overbearingness, they can equally need the other to ground them and keep them calm.

When Sammy and Yaz reunite, they’re really happy but also out of sync a bit, when they go in to kiss but end up bumping heads. Then after they resurface after nearly drowning, they’ve reached a better understanding of each other, and then they kiss a lot more smoothly, showing that they’re back in sync.

For the Benrius shippers out there, this also parallels how Darius and Ben were a bit out of sync and a little rocky, but at the beginning of ep.3 we see Ben and Darius have fallen back into their natural rhythm: Ben says “chip me” and Darius effortlessly tosses it and Ben catches it in his mouth. I just appreciate these little details and moments of closeness and also the parallels.

Can we talk about how we have alternating arcs/paths with Sammy and Yaz? Like, we see Yaz becoming more confident in how she handles and reacts to her trauma and making significant progress with her PTSD. Then we have Sammy who’s slowly slipping into a poorer mental state when she was known for being better able to manage her trauma from Nublar. Then along with this, we have Yaz stepping into the more “caretaker” role when Sammy was the one who usually has control over the situation. The van sinking scene in ep.7 is a perfect example. Sammy's panicking when her seatbelt gets stuck and Yaz is the one to ground her. I just want to take a closer look at this scene because it’s so sweet, too. The way Yaz first takes Sammy’s hands but then after realizing how much Sammy’s panicking, she cups her face and gets her to focus. It’s just such a tender moment. (And then parallel with that, the scene where Kenji has a panic attack and Darius is the one to support him in the midst of their argument. I just love a good parallel.) (Another parallel, Darius grounding Ben when he was paranoid in ep.2) But there’s also that scene early in ep.9 where it’s Sammy who’s completely freaking out and Yaz being the level-headed one.

Going back to the conflict between them, we see a moment of growth in that scene. After Sammy’s anxiousness causes her to be reckless, she apologizes which opens the floor for a well needed discussion about how they need to work as a team and trust one another. While the main discussion about how their coping mechanism end up hurting each other hasn’t happened yet, we still get to see them repairing the cracks in their relationship. Instead of Yaz pulling away when Sammy becomes anxious and overbearing, we see her acknowledge Sammy’s anxiety and comfort her instead, so that Sammy doesn’t go farther into that anxious state and the cycle is interrupted. It’s cool how they made their mental health issues cause problems in their relationship. Not in a “oh I can’t handle my girlfriend’s PTSD and she’s too much for me,” but in the way of “My girlfriend really cares for me in relation to my PTSD and it’s sweet but it also feels like she’s babying me” and “my girlfriend is going through a really tough time right now and I want to be there for her but she keeps pulling away from me.” Although, in a way, Sammy’s anxiety does become overbearing for Yaz, but even then it’s not in a she’s being too much but rather her anxiety is only causing her to be treated in a way she doesn't want to be treated. While scary and uncomfortable, I’m really glad that Yaz and Sammy had that conflict because it shows that couples can argue and still love each other. Just because there’s a problem in the relationship doesn’t mean the relationship has to end there, it just means that you have to come together and acknowledge the issue and then work together to fix it.

Darius’s reaction to Brooklynn’s death, my god. And hearing Darius’ voice calls that he left Brooklynn…devastating. Him hiding in the bath tub after giving the phone and sinking down in it; he really is ashamed of his feelings and it’s sad. But also the tenderness in Kenji’s voice when he confronts him? He’s no longer angry with Darius, just wants to understand. And the way that he doesn’t even get mad when Darius tells him he was in love with B… (maybe he understands how B is a very lovable character.)

But back to the grief, the moment where they’re all looking at the allosaurus that supposedly killed Brooklynn is devastating. They are finally united in their grief over Brooklynn. Boy, at least one of them is going to be pissed when her survival is revealed. And then also how they all worry over Bumpy too, it just really symbolizes how they’re still a family after everything. I love how Ben and Sammy are basically co-parents now. And remember that episode where Sammy was trying to get Bumpy to like her? Oh how far we’ve come. I flat out believed that she was dead, the writers definitely got me with that one. Well played, Bumpy. Well played.

I will say that Darius’s confrontation with Cabrera didn’t feel fully earned. We only saw him in one other scene and only heard about him in another scene so Darius’ moment of realization fell a little short on me. I think it could have been better had we saw an earlier interaction with him and Darius that may give us more conflicting opinions on whether or not he’s good. Because when we first saw him with Sammy, Yaz, and Ben, I was 90% sure that he was bad because of the three’s unbiased narrative. But had we gotten an interaction with Darius where he seemed a lot less questionable as a character it would have brought my doubt to more of a 50%. It also would have made Darius’ almost betrayal feeling in ep.10 more warranted because we saw them personally interact so it’d make Darius’s “You’re the one behind this? You’re selling Dinosaurs? DPW is supposed to protect people from dinosaurs.” hit harder.

The micro bang lady reads the raptor’s body language so well. She’s also compassionate towards them which is a heavy difference from this other dinosaur corruption we’ve got going on where they are carelessly abusing dinosaurs. She sees the raptors absolutely wiped out and retreats which is an absolute power move and shows she cares. It’s a choice that humanizes her along with the cuddling of a fucking raptor, which is interesting since most of what we’ve seen so far has been very uncanny with her robotic movements and unblinking eyes. She scares the shit out of me but lowkey...

she looks really badass and hot in this scene. I see what some of yall are talking about.

The action sequence in ep.10? Amazing. 10/10. The parallel with Jurassic World? Heart stopping. The dead silence except for the footsteps and dinosaur breathing? Immaculate. Best scene in the entire show, maybe in animated history.

At the end, we also have a shift from the characters being forced to react to all of the stuff thrown at them, like a defensive, but then we see them make the decision to go on the cargo ship and now they get to take a more “offensive” approach. Then we also have Darius stepping back into that leader role.

I just hope that since the characters are no longer stranded on a deserted island that they can finally get a change of outfits if they happen to get dirty. Please don’t let them walk around in the same dirty clothes again, please.

Now, probably one of the more controversial parts. Dinostar… Now, I’m a multi shipper and I’ve never had a problem with the ship itself but even then I was skeptical of this creative choice.

I feel like it’d be more impactful if they kept dinosaur platonic showing that Darius doesn’t need to be in a romantic relationship with his friend in order to feel a significant amount of grief for her. Now, I know that even if Darius wasn’t in love with Brooklynn, he probably still would have had the same reaction but still, the interpretation of his feelings has still changed. How necessary was this?

But also the power in the unrequited dinostar. Having Darius only realize his feelings for Brooklynn, especially after her staying at his place, it's natural. It adds to the very real complexity of human feelings. “I never meant for it to happen. It just…happened.” Darius’s feelings are still natural and organic and he’s still kind of ashamed of them. Darius’s “I didn’t even think I could feel that way,” was what really got to me. If it was because he always saw Brooklynn as a friend it shows how these sort of feelings can sneak up on you, but I also see it as, “I didn’t think I was able to have crushes on people” which speaks to me a lot. It feels very aligned with the demi-aroace experience and as someone who’s demi-aroace I care about this a lot. It’s such a confusing and difficult experience, worrying about if you’re even capable of falling in love with someone, trying to disect the difference between platonic connections and romantic ones, and the shame you feel when you think you might be interested in someone who’s supposed to be your friend. It’s messy and real and seeing Darius possibly experiencing that makes me feel less alone. Anyways, I like how even in both directions Darius can still be on the aroace spectrum.

“If I was really in love with Brooklynn, I should have been there.” This line makes me wonder if he’s still doubting his feelings for Brooklynn. The “I couldn’t face her after that. I was too embarrassed. So I didn’t show up that night.” Darius being embarrassed is so real. I once confessed to a girl I thought I liked and was rejected, albeit gently for the most part, and I still can’t look at her the same way. This was with someone I wasn’t close with so I can only imagine what it was like for Darius, the embarrassment. It’s such an impactful thing too. Darius's natural and realistic reaction to getting rejected and not being able to face her having drastic consequences in this new world of dinosaurs and being hunted by them. It’s just the complexity of the story that’s what really makes this work.

“She tried to be nice about it, but it was clear she didn’t feel the same.” I wonder if this is what really happened or just what Darius interpreted it as. I’m hoping that it remains unrequited. Seeing the guy not get the girl would be something new and interesting. I could also get behind dinostar but only if it’s done right and to be done right it’d need a lot of time. But I also don’t think I want to see any of them in a relationship just yet. Especially Brooklynn and especially now. I think that she’s way too deep into this conspiracy and should focus on that instead of a relationship. That’s definitely where her mind has been at lately, anyways. I also worry that this might turn into a love triangle which I’m never a big fan of. I’ve also seen some people say that this love triangle/Darius’ feelings will probably weaken the integrity of Brooklynn’s character and reduce her to a love interest, and, for a while, I agreed. But now my opinion has shifted. So far from what we’ve seen, Brooklynn’s character seems to be going on an interesting arc and I have faith that the writers won’t weaken that in favor of focusing on her romantic interests. The writing for this season has been amazing and if they keep it up in season two it can probably be successfully pulled off. And already with the way it’s been written, I don’t think Brooklynn is ready for a relationship at the moment.

Now Brooklynn...

I was one of the people who was convinced Brooklynn was alive but while watching the show I actually began to doubt that theory and there was a moment where I was sure she was actually dead. I know there are a couple of people unhappy about the fact that Brooklynn isn’t actually dead, and I get that. Especially coupled with the Darius vs Kenji conflict it may feel like CT is copying too much from CC with Ben’s fake death instead of being original and committing to it. And that’s totally valid, especially for a serious plot line like a character death. I do, however, have faith that the writers of CT will execute her fake death well though. Because that’s the thing with CC/CT. Most of the time, even the not so strong ideas are well executed and integrated into the plot smoothly. With Ben’s fake death, it gave the opportunity to strongly develop Ben’s character more than it could if he had ended up on the island with the campers. His solo experience after his “death” molded him into a very different character from the boy we saw in the early episodes. It changed him drastically and that was the redeeming factor. So, I have hope with Brooklynn. It already seems like she’s on a strong path of character development and it seems like she’s going completely undercover to unbox this international dinosaur corruption scheme. Not to mention, she’s missing part of her arm, so that’s also a drastic change. Brooklynn being alive opens up a lot of opportunities, especially to delve into her trauma that she might have acquired from losing a hand. Not only that, but the others still think she’s dead so we won’t lose that mourning aspect, in fact it might make it even more impactful knowing that she is alive and that Brooklynn’s fake death is causing this much pain to her friends.

This could also introduce some conflict within the group once it is revealed to them that Brooklynn is alive because they spent all of this time mourning her and suffering from some severe mental health issues only for her to actually be alive without telling them. Me personally, I’d be upset going through all of this emotional turmoil for a dead friend only for her to pop up knowing she could have prevented all of it. We can also see different reactions from the 5 of them. Maybe someone will be angry at her and some might just be really happy she’s alive and some might not even believe she’s actually alive. I’m just gonna say that it is fucked up that Brooklynn is just allowing her friends to suffer from mourning her and that I’d totally understand if any of the camp fam were mad at her. In fact I need to see that. Then there’s all of the secrets she’s keeping from them, too. I wonder if we might see a sort of negative character arc because Brooklynn has been neglectful towards her friends, especially Kenji which caused the whole breakup in the first place, and then multiple times Brooklynn’s true intentions have been unclear and shady. I wonder if there’s any symbolism we can pick up from her hair which is always changing.

Overall, I’m excited to see what they do with Brooklynn’s character and how her fake death affects the others. I’m always willing to compromise with my feelings and the decisions made so long as they well execute their unfavorable choices.

As for the reveal, I feel like it could have been dragged out a little bit longer. I think a perfect place to stop would be right at Ronnie receives the text. Because in my mind at that moment, there were two ideas that I had. One, Ronnie could have been one of the corrupt DPW workers, or she could have been working with Brooklynn. I think that that confliction would have been a great place to end especially because either way, it leaves you question that entire interaction she has with Darius in the first episode. Is Ronnie going to be bad and betray Darius? Or is she good and helping Brooklynn who's alive. I understand in the grander schemes of things why they did it; showing Brooklynn alive (and handless) at the very end will make viewers want to come back and see what happened with her. I just hope they keep her being alive unknown to the rest of the campers for a while longer for that added tension or whatever. I feel like if anything they might reveal her to the camp fam at the end of season 2.

Now let’s talk about that hairstyle. When I first saw it at a distance paired with the whole ensemble, it looked really badass. But up close? I don’t like it.

At first I was going to say that Sammy carried the plot, because she did. Then I was like, “well, Ben also carried the plot too.” Then it was “If Sammy carried the plot then so did Yasmina.” That “boo” did a lot for me. But then I was thinking of the discourse between Darius and Kenji and they also both carried the plot. So, long story short, they all carried which is amazing. It means that it was well balanced and every character had a significant role in the story.

In short, there’s a lot of things that were phenomenal in this show, however, there were a few things that can only become/remain great if they’re addressed in season 2. There were a lot of throwaway lines in the show that was loaded with context we didn’t have and hinted to a separate conflict.

Twice we hear Sammy say how she’s not in contact with her family and then it’s never brought up again. I want to know why this is, even If it doesn’t have a drastic effect on the overall plot. Then we see Sammy hallucinate Brooklynn but then that’s the only time it happens. Is it bad that I want to see more of that? I just really want to see Sammy’s trauma unloaded in season 2. In ep.6, Sammy says “Remember how [Yaz] got when the dinosaurs made it to the mainland?” It seems really heavy and I want to see this. I want to know what the groups initial reactions to one, the dinosaurs back on the mainland, and two, Brooklynn’s death. We also hear Darius sort of allude in ep.1 that Ben might have had a harder time adjusting to being back on the mainland, especially with the “don’t patronize me, Darius!”

I’m hoping that some of these lines are just seeds being planted early on so that we can see them grow in season 2. One thing I hope we get is more flashbacks, seeing what all of these lines are referring to. Sammy’s family issues. Yaz’s (and the other's) initial reaction the dinosaurs back on mainland. Also, seeing flashbacks to Brooklynn with Darius in the cabin. We got flashbacks for everyone else except him so it’d be nice to see, and also give us something more substantial for Darius’s feelings. My guess is that there won’t be as many action scenes when they’re hiding away on the ship so we can get more flashbacks and have some more downtime to explore the groups trauma, regain some more of that “full” group dynamic, and just in general put more focus into the characters rather than plot.

The writing in this was amazing, especially for a kids show, and I hope we get to see more of this amazing writing carried on to season 2 soon. If you stuck with me this long, I appreciate you.

#jurassic world chaos theory #jwct #jwct spoilers #sammy gutierrez #yasmina fadoula #ben pincus #darius bowman #kenji kon #jwct brooklynn #brooklynn jwcc #mya talks jwct

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depravitycentral · 11 months

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ty for making some of these boys virgins 😭 its a peeve when they try to justify characters being these sex gods when majority of these anime boys have never held a girl's hand in canon. Like you can be a virgin and still know how to fuck/dom but soooo many girls dont get that so they keyhole these men into being hedonistic. Like no hate to them but thats so ooc - nyways i really love your work and immersion! <3

Yes yes yes! That's a bit of a pet peeve for me too, though I understand why other authors do it! Especially in the context of yanderes, where they're supposed to be intimidating and all-consuming and suffocating.

That's not to say that there aren't characters out there who are sex gods - they're few and far between but they do exist, through a combination of experience and raw, natural talent. (And, more often than not, a bit of luck, too.)

Plus, the depth of their feelings for you and the intense, pathetic desire to please you certainly doesn't deter them from trying their best every time they get you naked and spread out before them.

Let's discuss!!

Some are simply experienced enough to know what most women like. It's not a matter of raw ability but rather that they've had enough partners to know what to do - and, more importantly, what not to do. Trial and error has led to them having a pretty consistent routine they undergo in order to get their partner off, knowing that they should spend a while with their tongue against your clit or thumbs brushing against your nipples in order to get you fully ready, often even giving you an orgasm before they get to the main event. Fucking you is good, better than any woman they've been with, but your body is more or less the same as theirs's - except, they're trying even harder with you, putting to use every scrap of information they've learned and observed from every sexual encounter they've had. Their ultimate goal is to turn you into a moaning, shaking mess, and they're quick to adapt to whatever seems to get you feeling best.

The biggest concern with this category, however, is that they tend to be a little overconfident - because they feel they have a wealth of experience, they aren't especially open to criticism or advice. They'll adapt to you, sure, but don't tell them they're doing something wrong, or that something other women have loved doesn't actually feel all that good. Don't insult their skills, because while they no longer care if their past partners enjoyed their time together, it still stings their pride. Instead of listening to your advice, they'll choose to keep going - doing the thing you claim to dislike more and more and more, feverishly trying to convince you that it feels good, you're just not opening yourself up for the opportunity to feel good, that's all. Really, you should be more receptive - after all, they know what they're doing, and do you? Do you really?

A few yanderes that come to mind fitting this category include Koutarou Bokuto, who, despite still having some misconceptions about the female body (he gets terminology mixed up mostly, confusing your clit for your vulva and so on, making any moaned directions aimed at him difficult to follow), has always been able to show his partners a good time. Besides, even if he underperforms, those biceps and muscular thighs normally have women overlooking any of his flaws.

Hizashi Yamada, similarly, always leaves his hookups smiling, making sex a generally pleasant, satisfying experience. Though, no matter how good his skill with his tongue or cock is, his incessant talking throughout the process can leave some late nights turning a bit sour. It can ruin the mood, sometimes, and while there are times when you find his excessive praising and moans of fuck baby and love it when you take me so well hot, most of the time they just deter you from truly losing yourself in the moment. (He always sounds too awed - he's not growling these things or saying them with much of a dominant lilt, rather just warbling and genuinely praising you, which can sometimes leave you feeling a bit uncomfortable.)

Shalnark, when he's trying, can be a great lover - he's especially tuned in to his partner's emotions and reactions to his touch, but the trouble with him is his effort level. Of course, he's in love with you, scarily so, but sometimes he can be a bit selfish, and chooses to take the easy way out and just whip out the vibtrator rather than manually finish you off. This tends to happen when you've been putting on an attitude or you haven't been especially receptive to his affection, and it's in moments like these where Shalnark's pettiness shows itself. You won't hug him or snuggle with him in bed? Then why should he fuck you into an orgasm? But when he does care, well, it almost makes up for all those times he taps out after he comes. Almost.

Some have learned that they do one thing particularly well, and are humble enough to recognize that they should focus on that. As much as they wish they were as well rounded and talented at everything between the sheets, they each have one tried and true weapon that they can use in a pinch to make sure the sex ends on a good note. It's very dependent on the yandere, but they have some redeeming trait that always comes in to save the day, something that can normally get you gasping and trembling if they work at it long enough. Unless they're particularly pent up (or particularly desperate to show you how good they can make you feel), they tend to try and utilize other methods of pleasuring you before they fall back and rely on their specialty. It's more of a confidence thing than anything else, because while they're grateful that they have something to offer you, they want to improve their skills in other areas so that they don't need to rely on just eating you out or rubbing at your clit or fucking you senseless. They just want to be good for you, really, but when they get desperate, they'll always transition to the one thing they know will work.

The one thing that deters this category from being desirable is that in-between period when they're trying new things out. Often, it's not super successful; they're really good at only one thing for a reason, and while it's not necessarily bad when they try to mix things up, it's certainly not going to leave you breathless and wanting more. They just don't have the proper experience (or experience where they were aiming for pleasuring their partner rather than just themselves) to really feel confident and sure of themselves when they're trying something new, and it translates into the way they always hesitate just a bit, or the way they go either way too slow or way too fast. Eventually, though, they'll always return to their fail safe, so it doesn't matter too much - just be patient and get through their attempts, and you'll be rewarded.

Tetsurou Kuroo, while certainly not being a sex god, is remarkably quite talented with his tongue. He's got very good control, and is able to make very precise movements, especially when they're preformed against your clit. He actually really loves to eat you out because he really, really likes the way your cunt smells, but he's always wanted to get better at actually fucking you, because all those fantasies he's harbored since the very beginning of his obsession with you almost always involve you coming undone on his cock. His thumb isn't as talented as his tongue, though, and so even if he rubs it while he's pounding into you, he'll always have to finish you off with his mouth. (At least he gets to taste the intoxicating mix of your slick and his cum - a sign that at least he made you feel a little good.)

Enji Todoroki is the opposite of Tetsurou - he's had lots of practice with actually fucking, and his hips and thighs have enough muscle that he can spend hours rutting into you at the same pace, angle and force, effectively battering your poor pussy in the best way possible. He's pretty receptive about following whatever set of those three factors you like best (though he shines best when he's fucking you nice and slow, deeply and meaningfully when he's got you folded up in a mating press), and while he does prefer being inside you over everything else, he desperately, desperately wants to get good at going down on you. He'd never really bothered when he was Rei, but with he actually wants to taste you, and the thought of you creaming all over his face (or, even more, squirting on his face) is enough to get him half hard in an instant, licking his lips and spreading your legs before you can even protest.

Phinks Magcub has thick, sturdy fingers, callouses dotting them and a few scars left from particularly nasty fights. He's got good stamina and can spend long periods of time moving his fingers the exact way you like them, never tiring of feeling how warm and spongy your walls are, always with a flush on his cheeks and the slightest bit of awe in his eye when he looks at you. He likes fingering you, watching you fall apart for him when he grinds the heel of his palm against your sensitive little clit, but he really wants to learn how to make you come on his cock, because there's nothing more intimate to him than the idea of him fucking you well enough to make you flutter around him. He knows most women can't come from penetration alone, but he's nursing the hope that maybe, if he gets good enough, you'll become one of those few.

Some possess natural ability between the sheets, even if they don't have all that much experience. It's like they intuitively know what to do, how to move their bodies in ways that get women moaning and gasping. Part of it is because they're good at observing, diligently watching the expressions of their partners and making note of what gets them grasping at the sheets the hardest, or what makes them clench down the tightest. It's more methodical than anything else, but the end result is the same. They almost always get their partners to orgasm, through sheer determination and attention to detail.

The one unfortunate side to this category is that they're the kind that care most about actually making you feel good - to the point where they will force the sex to continue, not willing to stop eating you out or fingering you until you're making a mess and whimpering their name, for better or for worse. It's almost disturbing, their eagerness and commitment to getting you off, and while you're grateful that they care so much about making sure you enjoy yourself, there's something genuinely unsettling about it. When all is said and done they tend to look worse off than you, their faces bright red and slick smeared all over their lips and chin, a small smile sitting on their lips that feels out of place with how swollen and puffy said lips are. But they're trying, and it's the thought that counts, right? Besides, at least you have something to look forward to when they slowly pull down your pants.

Keiji Akaashi is a wonderful example of this; he loves the way you respond to his fingers, how you bite your lip and keen his name, voice all airy and gaspy as he curls them just right, making you see stars. He's committed to you, and while his skills weren't particularly strong in the beginning of your 'relationship', Keiji is a quick learner and was able to pick up on exactly what you liked pretty fast. He's a little unnerving when he's concentrating, though, because he's deadly silent and just staring at your cunt, a combination that leaves you squirming in more than just pleasure.

Pakunoda is another one who possesses some natural talent in the bedroom - she takes everything slow and really takes her time with you, always making sure to draw out every sensation that she can, just because she wants you feeling the full breadth of pleasure she's offering you. She doesn't mind long, drawn-out session, even preferring them, and so while it takes a long time (sometimes long enough for you to consider just calling it quits), she'll eventually get you off. She just likes to be meticulous about it.

Shouta Aizawa is basically a virgin when he develops his infatuation with you, having only slept with one or two women when Hizashi and Nemuri take him out drinking and he indulges just a little too much. He makes up for it, though, because he's quite talented with his tongue, and he's good at holding back his own pleasure and delaying his orgasm until you've reached yours, elongating the sex and making it so that you have enough time to actually let the pleasure build to the point of spilling over. He refuses to come first, and while sometimes it happens despite his best effort, he's got a strong sense of determination and will get you moaning his name and gushing all over him.

But, quite frankly, managing to qualify as one of the categories listed is not an honor most yanderes get to enjoy. Most are fine, thoroughly average in bed, maybe managing to make you come without the aid of a toy sometimes, but there's not a whole lot of consistency.

Others, however, are especially dismal; sex with them probably isn't something you look forward to too much, because while it can feel good, more often than not it's fun for about five minutes and then you're ready for it to be over. Not that you'd tell them that, though - not if you value whatever semblance of freedom you've managed to ascertain, and especially not if you value your ability to walk normally the next day. (They'll substitute in fucking you hard for fucking you well, which, as expected, doesn't have the results they wish for.)

Some are fully, utterly convinced that they are in fact a sex god - despite their shortcomings. Maybe it's a result of previous partners lying and building their confidence, or based on total delusions, or even a stubborn bit of pride unwilling to let them believe they could fail at something. Regardless, it leaves them in a position where they only sort of understand what they need to do in order to get you feeling good - there's an attempt, most of the time, but they normally don't have the patience or stamina to last long enough to reach your orgasm. They'll just be finding a good rhythm when they're fucking you, rolling their hips just right, before deciding that it might be better to flip you over, or that the angle is starting to kill their back and they need to change it up. Honestly, it's frustrating more than anything else - you're always so close, before it's snatched away from you without a care.

Tomura Shigaraki, unfortunately, is a victim of this mindset. He's watched enough porn to feel like he's got a good, general grip on what should happen during sex, fully believing that while some of what he's watched is obviously fake (he's not stupid - he knows how difficult and unlikely getting a girl to squirt is, even though he'd kill to get you squirting for him), he's picked up tips on the more realistic aspects of porn. (He hasn't, and it doesn't work - jackhammering into you like a rabbit doesn't have the affects he's expecting, because instead of moaning his name and gushing around his cock like all those pornstars do, you just seem to wince and beg him to slow down.)

Nobunaga Hazama, too, can't seem to fully grasp the fact that he isn't the best sexual partner. He tends to get overly excited, always eager to see the way you're responding to his touch, and the moment your expression or voice lulls in any way, he's moving on to the next thing he can do to get you screaming his name, even when the new thing is the exact opposite of what you need to get off. He just doesn't really have the patience to successfully make you come most of the time, and even if you gently correct him, he'll just shush you, telling you with conviction that it'll feel good soon, that he knows what makes you feel good, so you just need to sit back and take it.

Yuuji Terushima is simply too hyperactive and excited when he's in bed with you to stay focused on one thing at a time - similarly to Nobunaga, you'll be constantly changing positions or switching from fucking to grinding to oral and back again to really make any progress towards your orgasm. The one thing Yuuji has going for him, though, is that he actually does possess skills in the bedroom - he is genuinely good at going down on you, that damn tongue piercing always adding an extra layer of stimulation and making your head spin. He's good at aiming when he's fucking you, and it's his only saving grace - if you go at it for long enough, you may end up managing to come, but it's never a guarantee.

Some are just too unsure of their skills, and it's reflected in the way that they can't commit to one single thing. Frankly, they're not even that bad at touching you - they don't suck, often just the opposite, but their lack of experience and confidence between the sheets leads to fleeting touches and lots of unsure, half-hearted attempts at making you feel good. They don't expect you to be able to come from just a few thrusts of their fingers inside your gooey, warm cunt, but when you don't, it still doesn't make them feel any better. They're overwhelmed, frankly, and they feel such intense pressure to make sure that everything is perfect that they end up floundering, too scared to choose one single thing (fingering you, eating you out, fucking you, or even just grinding against you) and see it through to fruition. They're just nervous - it's palpable, really, and with time you can slowly coax them into feeling more confident and comfortable, but they'll never be able to fully shake the feeling that they're not good enough to really satisfy you in bed. It's sad, more than anything, and the longer you let the problem go unaddressed, the harder improving their skills will be.

Machi Komacine is afraid of intimacy, and because she herself relies quite heavily on toys whenever she gets in the mood to get herself off, her own fingers aren't too used to the motions and movements required to properly touch you. She hasn't had to sink her fingers inside herself for years, really, always replacing them with the pink plastic vibrator or dildo, but she's much too embarrassed to admit that to you. (Though, she's even more embarrassed to actually try and learn/practice on you - poor Machi, because she's even too emotionally closed off to properly discuss it with you.)

Kei Tsukishima, in his defense, is scared that he'll hurt you. He's got this unreasonable worry that he's not good enough for you, and while he hides this well in how he interacts with you, it becomes very obvious the moment that either of you are naked and yearning for each other's touch. He's just very unsure, and the weight of knowing that he could displease you or leave you unsatisfied leaves him wanting to just not even bother trying, too pessimistic to see a solution in which he'll actually manage to make you come.

Shuichi Iguchi, similarly to Kei, fears hurting you, but he's more crippled by the knowledge that he's never intimately touched someone before, and the omnipresent paranoia eating at him that wonders how you could ever find him attractive. He's too scared of your rejection to really put himself into a situation where he can put his 100% effort into anything sexual with you, so for now he'll settle with fingering you for a few moments, then kissing you (his fingers having slipped out), then simply pressing his cock against your folds, unmoving, just feeling.

So really, there's a whole variety of bedroom skills - it's more about the combination of your specific likes and dislikes in bed alongside their strengths (or lack thereof) that decides whether the sex is good. But, quite frankly, it doesn't really matter - the likelihood of you being able to escape any of the yanderes listed above is quite low, and gets even lower when you consider whether they'd be able to track you down and snatch you up again. So really, it doesn't matter whether they're a sex god or not - you'll never be sleeping with another person in your life, and they sure as hell won't either.

(Thanks for the ideas anon! This style ask is always fun to answer! I hope this doesn't set off your ick about pigeonholing characters as sex gods - they aren't perfect, I promise!)

#yandere hxh #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere bnha #yandere mha #yandere haikyuu #hxh smut #haikyuu smut #bnha smut #_lee discusses #_hxh #_haikyuu #_bnha #_multi-cast

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bsd-fan · 1 year

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Dazai osamu: Evolution

In a lot of ways this is where my Dazai analysis will really start, this is going to be insanely long so be prepared. It also has spoilers of the manga, anime, and most of the light novels.

I’ve talked about how is a mistake to measure Dazai’s character growth in terms of morality, because that has never been the main point of his characterization. Being a “good” or a “Bad” person is not as important as the fandom makes it to be. Dazai is unapologetically a morally grey character and he will always be. However, this doesn’t mean that Dazai hasn’t changed.

He has and it goes far beyond him changing into a boring trench coat and calling himself a detective. He has changed so fundamentally speaking that I’d go and say that right now is the most developed character in this area and the thing that make this even more surprising is that his character growth has not finished yet. He keeps evolving.

To understand this let’s start analyzing him chronologically:

Fifteen year old Dazai is probably the lowest we’ve ever seen Dazai. Starting fifteen, Dazai is showed to us as someone who genuinely wants to die, he is /not/ attempting suicide as a joke, is not a comedic relief. Fifteen year old Dazai wants to die with a desperation that borders on madness. He is so tired of living, so bored of life and the people that surround him, about how predictable they are, about how easy is to manipulate them, there’s not a thing in this world that can surprise him, he is living in this permanent state of numbness. He is completely lonely in a world that will never be able to understand him. And let me make a pause to talk about the fact that it has been /heavily/ implied that Dazai was living in this situation for a long time. People loves to blame Mori for Dazai’s personality but this is simply and canonically speaking not true.

Dazai has already formed most of his worse personality traits by the time Mori found him. Let me remind you that they met when Mori saved Dazai’s life /after/ he attempted suicide at fourteen. Fandom loves to act as Dazai was a perfectly healthy kid that Mori ruined when that’s not true. Mori made it worse, yes. But he wasn’t the cause of it.

“Miscalculation.

You misjudged the situation, he told himself. You failed to pick the optimal solution. You shouldn’t have chosen this child to help you. Dazai is unpredictable. He can be sharp but in a dark, twisted way. He’s observant. He’s cold and calculating with no equivalent even in the mafia, where the most evil reside”- Mori about Dazai, ligh novel fifteen.

I will talk about this more depth in another essay about Soukoku and the mafia but this is important to aknowledge. Dazai was like this even /before/ Mori’s influence, Mori was scared of him even when Dazai was just a child because he saw how deeply disconnected from his humanity he was. How cruel, cold and calculating he could be.

So going back to the main idea, at this point of the story, Dazai is already numb, manipulative, and machiavellian, he doesn’t trust in anyone and his only real connection is with Mori that looks at him like a convenient weapon to wield. But the most important trait of Dazai at this age? Is how deeply apathetic Dazai is to everything. At this stage of life Dazai lives in a pure nihilism, he doesn’t believe in /anything/, he conceives life as completely meaningless, he doesn’t see a point in existing when there’s no a reason for it. It’s so bad that it’s funny. Mori knows about the /raw/ potential in Dazai, about how valuable he can be as a tool but he can’t use him because Dazai is so unmotivated that he simply doesn’t give a damn about anything. He is a genius and he only uses his intellect to try to kill himself. He can’t be bothered with anything else, even breathing is an annoying task and a waste of effort and then…this happens:

I’m not pointing this out as a soukoku shipper because this is not even a soukoku analysis, this is all about Dazai. People will always talk about Fifteen importance for chuuya, but fifteen was also fundamental in Dazai’s arc.

Cold and apathetic Dazai was literally kicked in the face by his biggest narrative foil. Chuuya who is loud, and ridiculously emotional, who can’t for the life of him hide his expressions, who is a terrible liar, impulsive, pathologically loyal to the point of idiocy, and so fucking full of vitality, so hungry for life. And so /unbearable human/. And then Dazai gets annoyed, and surprised, and out of nowhere he is screaming at the top of his lungs, showing /emotion/, he is curious, he is intrigued. He went from saying that breathing is such a hassle to fucking throwing a party and singing happily while he, in person, decorates, he even got a cake for fuck’s sake.

He doesn’t understand chuuya, he is curious about the sheep dynamics and as the story progresses we realize that this is probably the first time that Dazai fucks up, he failed to predict a situation, he didn’t saw it coming.

He wasn’t able to realize that Chuuya was Arahabaki, he didn’t even thought about that possibility. Because since the first moment, he never thought that chuuya could be something else than human. He didn’t saw Rimbaud coming because the idea of a person going that far for someone else? Is ridiculous, it doesn’t make sense, is illogical. It’s not how people are supposed to act.

“-So it’s all for your partner-Dazai said listlessly- Betraying the mafia, spreading rumors about the old boss’s resurrection, this fight we’re in now…it’s kind of hard to believe, to be honest

-Maybe for a slimeball like you it is- Chuuya scoffed. He looked up at Randou- Throwing everything away for your friends is a perfectly respectable reason to risk your life if you ask me”- Dazai and chuuya, fifteen years old. (Pause to scream about how much I love chuuya, help)

So basically every thing that happened in fifteen leads to this:

And this guys, is one of the angular stones in Dazai’s development.

“The boy’s eyes were as clear as the sky on a sunny day; they lacked any shred of trepidation. This was not something earned, for only those determined to live could possess their heavenly blue sparkle”- about Dazai, fifteen.

This is the /only/ moment in the entirety of the series where Dazai not only doesn’t want to die, but that he /actively/ is looking towards life. The only moment in all bsd, Dazai is excited at the perspective of living. Fifteen is so important because this is the first time, Dazai’s view of life is challenged. Dazai was wrong. He made mistakes. People are not as predictable and boring as he thought. Dazai doesn’t suddenly start thinking that life has meaning, but he starts thinking that it /may/ exist, he just hasn’t found it yet.

This scene makes a radical switch in Dazai’s character because his primary goal changed from wanting to die to finding a reason to live.

In fifteen Dazai found hope, and everything that came after is possible because of this.

And it’s logical to an extent. He doesn’t understand life, but maybe if he understands death he can come closer to understand it. People always lie but when they are about to die? People become genuine, pretensions disappear, what do you cling to when you don’t have anything? When you’re dying, why do you keep fighting? If he can understand this, then maybe he can understand the sense in life. Maybe he can connect with his own desires and emotions. Maybe he can find his own reason to exist.

Unfortunately this doesn’t last.

By stormbringer, Dazai falls into despair once again, he goes back to looking for his death.

“Dazai glanced back at him, perhaps amused by this, then he muttered as if he was talking to himself. -I couldn’t find anything in the end’- Dazai osamu, stormbringer

“It seems true that he wants to die. It seems that all the value standards of living reflected in his eyes are just as worthless and ugly as scrap iron”- Oda about Dazai, The day I picked up Dazai osamu side A, translated by poppopretty

For a long time, I thought that was the culmination of Dazai’s development as a character. He went from wanting to die to trying to find a reason to live, he struggles but he is trying.

I was wrong.

Chuuya solves his main conflict in stormbringer, Dazai doesn’t. To understand this, we need to understand that one the main themes in Bungou stray dogs is existentialism.

In simple (extremely simple) words existentialism can be defined as: “ the philosophical belief we are each responsible for creating purpose or meaning in our own lives”. Which means that in a way existentialism also understands that life can be meaningless, that maybe there’s not a big purpose in existence BUT that doesn’t have to mean that it has to stay that way. Existentialism defends that people can find their own purpose and maybe is not something big, it may be not life changing for others, but is something people cling to and that’s enough to give sense to the world. I will be talking more in depth about this in chuuya’s analysis but right now the important thing is to understand that this is not enough for Dazai.

He /needs/ a bigger purpose, a better answer, something objective and logical, something that can’t be debated. Because if it’s not, then Dazai’s genius mind will pick on that and he will once again be drown in desperation. Dazai needs an absolute answer.

Enter oda, the catalyst of Dazai’s next biggest arc as a character. But first let’s understand sixteen year old Dazai’s perspective of live, shall we?

“- you said it is foolish to die, right? So here is my question. If dying is foolish, then why do we have to die?

(…)

-So, you mean life is not something to regret?

-No, it is worse than that. Even though we are all promised death, from the beginning, all human beings were born with a present desire called “I don’t want to die”. This is also one hundred percent true. That is why, that desire will never be fulfilled”- The day I picked up Dazai Osamu, transplanted by poppypretty

So, to summarize Dazai can’t understand what’s the point in living if by the end there’s no real point in it. There’s nothing there, there’s not a reason to suffer so much because that’s what he is doing. He is suffering. He is all alone, feeling like an alien in a world of humans, just using a mask and trying to hide how really inhuman and empty he is behind all of that and for what? The world is senseless. Worse than that, there are not a lot of things he cares about but when he finds something worth preserving, he loses it. Dazai is in a horrible situation because his intelligence alienates him and isolates him from other people but it’s not enough to win against the senseless of life. He lives at edge, trying to predict and control everything to protect himself and the things important to him, he purposefully goes along with the alienation and isolates himself more thus going farther from his humanity, and at the end is worthless. Because it doesn’t matter how intelligent he is, is still not enough, he will never be able to control everything, he will never be able to predict everything with 100% of accuracy because life doesn’t work in that way, is all about chaos. And Dazai can’t deal with that.

Time passes, by eighteen years old, Dazai in a lot of ways gets worse. He is the “Demon prodigy” destructive, cruel, a master in torture and his mental state continues to get worse and worse but funnily enough he is still standing and that’s thanks to two things:

1) the hope he found at fifteen and never let him. Yes, Dazai goes back to wanting to die because life sometimes becomes unbearable but his goal is still to find a reason to live. And that didn’t changed.

2) his friends. Odasaku, Ango and Lupin bar are important things for Dazai. He is still lonely but it’s a little better

Then everything goes to shit.

But I want you to understand this. After Oda decides to die, Dazai tries to stop him and this is what he says:

“-Find something to rely on. Expect good things to happen from here on out. There’s gotta be something…Hey Odasaku, do you know why I joined the mafia? (…) I joined the mafia because of an expectation I had. I thought if I was close to death and violence-close to people giving in to their urges and desires, then I would be able to see the inner nature of humankind up close. I thought if I did that…I would be able to find something-a reason to live”- Dazai Osamu, Dark era.

This is frankly tragic, because just as I said in previous analysis. Dazai’s worse trait, the real cause of all his suffering is his complete lack of self awareness. His main problem is not his lack of understanding of life, is the lack of understanding of himself. He thinks that understanding human at their most basic, desperate state will make him understand better humankind and that ultimately will make him closer to his humanity. But that’s not how it works. He can’t just watch from afar and expect that to be enough. Dazai needs to connect with himself, even the worse parts of himself, even the parts he doesn’t want to see instead of covering them up, he needs to let himself bond with other people, he needs to connect with his own emotions and desires. He needs to leave his overly complex ideas behind, to go down from the high horse he is in, to stop with the omniscient being act that aggravate his isolation and alienation, the things that ultimately make him perceive himself as something inhuman. He needs to accept that at the end of the day he is just human, just like the rest of the world and he is just as powerless as them.

Now let’s go to arguably Dazai’s most important scene as a character: Odasaku’s death

People love to make this scene about soukoku and it’s fucking ridiculous.

People will take this scene and put it as evidence for the “Chuuya’s always the second choice” theory that they came up with (even if the whole theory is fucking ) but specifically this? Dazai leaving the mafia? Has nothing to do with chuuya. It’s part of his /individual/ character development and exactly what it should be.

Let’s start analyzing it

Dazai arrives and Oda is dying, he is desperate to save him even when he know is too late and the Odasaku says something. And this, this guys is what ultimately leads to Dazai’s character growth.

“-you told me if you put yourself in a world of violence and bloodshed, you might be able to find a reason to live (…) you won’t find it-Odasaku said in an almost whisper. Dazai stared at him- You should know that. Whether you’re on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity”

“ That was when Dazai first realized: Sakunosuke oda understood him much more than he’d ever imagined- right up to his very heart, almost to the center of his mind. Dazai didn’t realize until then that someone had known him so well. For the first time in his life, Dazai wanted from the bottom oh his heart to know something. He asked the man before him:

-Odasaku, What should I do-“- Odasaku and Dazai osamu, Dark era

This is the most important scene for Dazai. He has always been lonely, he has always lived with the knowledge that it doesn’t matter how much he tries, no one will ever able to understand him but then just minutes before oda’s death he realizes he was wrong. To say that he left the mafia for oda is as inexact as saying that he decided to live for chuuya. It’s simply not true. He was heavily influenced by both of them but at the end of the day it was for himself.

“People live to save themselves”

I’ve say it before but this sentence is the core of bsd. If you want to analyze a character in this series, not matter who, you need to start by this quote. Dazai is not the exception to it.

He joined the mafia trying to find his own salvation, to get closer to his humanity, to find his reason for living, to find answers and he left because he realized it was useless. He always knew in a way, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave because this was his only chance, the mafia was his only hope, was the only thing he was clinging to. Even in his worst moments, Dazai still clung to the idea that he would find what he was looking for. But then, while dying oda talks to him and he realizes that there was someone who understood. Someone who knew about his pain, someone who understood his desperation, someone who looked through the mask and realized how utterly broken he was. And thing is, he failed, he tried the logical option and he found nothing but then maybe oda, oda who knows him best, oda who probably understands him better that he understand himself can tell him what to do. That’s why Dazai is so desperate in this scene, asking what to do. Because this is a new chance, there’s new hope. What Oda said might sound horrible but it was exactly what Dazai needed to hear and is the reason I was wrong.

Dazai doesn’t read as a character who went from wanting to die to wanting to find a reason to live.

Because to begin with, what Dazai was looking for was completely unreachable because it doesn’t exist. He can be looking for a reason to live all his life and he won’t find it because there’s not an absolute answer. There is not a bigger motive. The world really is senseless, that’s how it is. And Dazai needed to understand that. That’s why oda tells him to forget all about that silly hope. Because is useless.

“Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, then choose to become a good person. Save the weak, protect the orphaned. You might not see a great difference between right and wrong, but…saving others is something just a bit more wonderful”- Oda Sakunosuke, dark era.

But that doesn’t mean than living is worthless

And this is how we come to Dazai’s real change as character. Dazai goes from nihilism, to a failed attempt of existentialism to absurdism.

Absurdism is the philosophical theory that existence in general is absurd, meaning that the world lacks meaning or a higher purpose. It also refers to the discrepancy between two things such as: the conflict as a colission between a rational man in an irrational world. In simple words, absurdism refers to the struggle of the man to find sense in a senseless world and we can see the mental impact of this struggle in the form of existential crises (yes, just like Dazai) Okay so I swear this made perfect sense in my own language, I’m gonna try as best as I can to explain it in English. Absurdism is different from existentialism because it doesn’t think that you can find a sense in the world, it really defends that not matter what you do, you will never find anything, that it doesn’t matter what you cling to in the great scheme of things it still means nothing, and in a way this need to find a sense in life will lead to more chaos BUT it also defends that you have to keep living despite that, maybe out of pure spite of it. Things doesn’t need to make sense to be worthy.

Absurdism says that there are three options to deal with this problem

Suicide: the pure desperation of trying to reach something that doesn’t exist will lead to the rejection of life. But this is not the correct answer (Cough, young Dazai, cough)

Religion: trying to cope, clinging to the idea that there’s a higher purpose. (Cough, Fyodor, Cough)

Rebellion against the absurd: which is the right answer, the individual needs to learn to accept the absurdity of the world and of his own existence but keep opposing to it. Which means, that the individual keeps living clinging to little things that may not have sense, but that are still worthy and valuable. In even simpler terms, absurdism says “do what you have to do to stop from killing yourself, not matter how stupid that thing is”

Cadmus explained it even better using this example:

You all know about Sisyphus, right? If not is basically this man that was punished by the gods. The punishment consisted of rolling a massive rock up a hill, but it doesn’t matter how hard he tried, at the end of the day, once the rock reached the top it would roll down again. So it was a completely senseless punishment. Not matter how Sisyphus tried he could never win against the absurdity of it. And this also happens with human lives, we do meaningless things all the time, knowing that at the end we will die. Not matter what we do, if we end up as vagabonds or if we find the cure against cancer, the result is still the same, we will all die, so everything we do in life is pointless. BUT Cadmus said that you still can’t give up. Because at the end, sisyphus needs to stop caring about something that he can’t change, the result will always be the same but the important thing is the instant of happiness when he comes close to finishing his job. The moment when the rock reaches the top? seconds before it rolls down, that satisfaction? Is what life is really about. And that’s exactly what Dazai is trying to do right now.

He won’t find sense in life, but being in the ADA is a little more beautiful and that alone is reason enough to be there. Maybe he is not a good person, maybe he doesn’t understand morals but he is with people he has come to appreciate in a better environment doing something that he enjoys more and that’s enough.

There’s this omake in bsd that shows a conversation between Atsushi and Dazai. And Atsushi asks Dazai, why he is in the ADA because someone as intelligent as Dazai can surely find a job with better pay, and Dazai looks at him and tell him that it’s true, but he is fine where he is because he likes to use his brain to help people. That guys, is absurdism right there, Dazai acknowledges that it may not makes sense but he likes what he does and that’s enough.

This change has been gradual and Dazai still struggles with it. He still has problems with the idea of letting things go, he still is a manipulative bastard and that will never change, because at this point is just a part of his personality, he still is trying to control everything but at the same time he also is ready to accept that sometime you just don’t have the answers and that’s part of humanity. This is one of my favorite panels on earth:

Dazai is trying to convince kyouka of living, to choose to do something different from the things she’s good at, if that what makes her happy. This is one of the few scenes Dazai accepts that he is not omniscient, that there are no answers for all the questions, and that we are all a little lost because of it. This is also the first time Dazai is not in desperation while saying it. His growth is not about becoming a good person, he still does horrible things, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t changed. To accept that life is senseless but it still is worthy, to accept that he can’t control everything but the possibilities of it are not necessarily something to be afraid but opportunities? /That’s/ his character growth

This whole arc is a masterpiece because it highlights Dazai’s growth. He is against Fyodor, who in a lot of ways is just like him but at their core they are completely different.

This hands down is my favorite Dazai’s panel because is all about his growth. Because he can see what Fyodor doesn’t. Fyodor see himself as a god, Dazai doesn’t because he knows that it doesn’t matter if they are pulling the strings, they are still isolated and alienated from everything, the people that really is moving the world is the one out there, the people that jumps even when they don’t know if they will be caught. The people that don’t know half of what they know but still are able to move in the middle of the uncertainty. And that’s something that neither Fyodor nor Dazai are able to do. But Dazai is no longer in pain because of that, he now understands the problem and is trying his best to overcome it. Dazai stopped resenting the world for being senseless and illogical and is learning to accept it and just adapt as best as he can to it. To give everything for the people he cares about even when there’s no guarantee that it will end well, but Dazai is trying and that’s what matters.

I really wish I had the time to make a better analysis but I don’t. Even then, I wanted to share my pure love and admiration to this character. Dazai is so beautifully written and by far the most complex character in this whole story, all of his development as a character is simply fascinating and the way Asagiri is writing him right now has me screaming and running in circles.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #dazai bsd #dazai osamu #soukoku #skk #dazai analysis #bsd spoilers #this is annoyingly long

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authoralexharvey · 19 days

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INTERVIEW WITH A WRITEBLR — @sleepyowlwrites

Who You Are:

M.J || She/her

I'm a relentlessly optimistic affectionate creative who will impart love to the world through whatever means possible, and this includes my writing. And it shows, because all my kids are either full of love or in desperate need of it.

What You Write:

What genres do you write in? What age ranges do you write for?

Action, Adventure, Contemporary, Fanfic, Fantasy, Poetry. Young and New Adult.

What genre would you write in for the rest of your life, if you could? What about that genre appeals to you?

Fantasy, it's always been fantasy. Even my contemporary pieces have trace elements of fantasy in them. I like having rules in my worlds, but ones that I made up instead of science or society.

What genre/s will you not write unless you HAVE to? What about that genre turns you off?

Romance. I sometimes think about trying it, but I quickly turn away. There's nothing about romance that is fulfilling in a way that I couldn't find elsewhere. It's just not enough for me. I want everything else, everything in the wider love spectrum, all the kinds I personally treasure in my own life.

Who is your target audience? Do you think anyone outside of that would get anything out of your works?

Anybody, but especially people who have emotions that refuse to be processed. I'm hoping to help them process those emotions through the lens of character. If a reader isn't ready for striking combinations of whimsy and weight, or unexpected feelings, then they might not jive with my stories.

What kind of themes do you tend to focus on? What kinds of tropes? What about them appeals to you?

Mental illness, friendship, hurt/comfort, the mortifying ordeal of being known, purpose, trauma, personal choices, siblings, raw depths of emotions, and shenanigans. One of these is not like the other. I like to put relatable qualities in fantastical realms and make it intimate. I want you to indulge, and I want you to think.

What themes or tropes can you not stand? What about them turn you off?

Romanticized abuse or toxic relationships, romanticized mental illness or disabilities, fake redemption arcs, poorly realized characters or cheap twists, and sex. I'm entirely uninterested in sex. There are too many things I dislike to think of them now that I've been asked, but they're just preference. Don't backtrack on character growth for the sake of drama, please.

What are you currently working on? How long have you been working on it?

That's a trick question. I work on multiple projects at once because that's what my brain prefers. My longest wip is 10 months old and my oldest is almost 7 years.

Why do you write? What keeps you writing?

I've always talked my thoughts aloud to make them make sense - my adhd doesn't think in sentences, so it can get very jumbled in my brain - and stories are an additional way of explaining the world or people to myself, or explaining myself to other people, or of explaining nothing but exploring the unnamed. I write because I feel these things anyway. Might as well share them.

How long have you been writing? What do you think first drew you to it?

Since I was 9, so 20 years ago. The same reason as above, and also my mom said I was talented. I was decidedly untalented in various other areas, so I jumped on that talent and went for it. I do still think I'm talented but I'm a good writer because I kept at it. I have the skills now to back up the talent. It’s very gratifying.

Where do you get your inspiration from? Is that how you got your inspiration for your current project? If not, where did the inspiration come from?

Anywhere, and I really mean it. I can't tell you how many times I've been sitting at a stoplight, or cleaning, or watch Chicago Med with my mom bemoaning the horrible writing and poof! Idea. It just comes to me. Little bit gift, little bit curse, really.

What work of yours are you most proud of? Why?

Hard to say. Everything. The ones that barely exist and the ones that don't make sense anymore. The poetry from 2010 that is simply terrible. The ones from 2020 that are full of grief. The stories that change form but won't leave me alone. The ones I just invented. I'm proud of of it for impacting me, the audience I write for first.

Have you published anything? Do you want to?

No. Yes? It's not the only end goal like when I was 14. It's an idea I like to entertain. I'm currently happy just to be writing along with work.

What part of the publishing process most appeals to you? What part least appeals to you?

I'd like to self-publish first, and that means learning and doing new things, which I hate. I'm 29 and I still hate it. The upside would be more control, the downside would be more control.

What part of the writing process most appeals to you? What part is least appealing?

Least appealing is finishing. Most appealing is starting and middling. I'm also afraid of worldbuilding because it tends to squash my writing drive for some reason? I'm working on it.

Do you have a writing process? Do you have an ideal setup? Do you write in pure chaos? Talk about your process a bit.

It's pure chaos. I rubber duck until sentences settle like dew in the morning, and then I sometimes collect it to make tea, and sometimes I just watch it evaporate. Both activities are important. I write until I find a plot, and if I cannot find one, I will let the tea sit and grow mold. Sometimes I have to throw it out. Sometimes I recycle, plant flowers, and grow new stories. It's chaos. I love it.

Your Thoughts on Writeblr:

How long have you been a writeblr? What inspired you to join the community?

2018 - I converted from a kpop blog - I wanted to get back into writing original fiction again, and I wanted my writeblr to be my main. So. I did that.

Shout out some of your favorite writeblrs. How did you find them and what made you want to follow them?

How. Am I supposed to pick. Some? I found everybody from following a few people and seeing who they followed. I usually follow on a whim, and then make friends after. @zmwrites, @akindofmagictoo, @blind-the-winds, @oh-no-another-idea, @ink-fireplace-coffee, @avrablake, @chayscribbles, @mel-writes-with-her-dragons, @artbyeloquent, @writing-is-a-martial-art, @ashen-crest, I have at least 80 more people I could mention

What is your favorite part about writeblr?

Making friends and adopting each other's blorbos! And reading some truly excellent stories, obviously.

What do you think writeblr could improve on? How do you think we can go about doing so?

Initiate interaction. If you want asks, send some, if you want tags, tag people, if you want readers, read stuff. There's no guarantee of reciprocity - I'm often too tired to respond enthusiastically even when I'm happy to see a post - but the more we engage, the more we are engaging. Wow, I'm a writer.

How do you contribute to the writeblr community? Do you think you could be doing more?

I try to send asks whenever I see people asking, I post prompts lists and invent tags. I start conversations and make friends that way. I could be doing more, but it’s a balance between doing more and not breaking my boundaries. I talk to people all day at work and expend social energy. As an introvert, I have to not overreach or I get anxiety and burnout. Life's a balancing act, and writeblr is no exception.

What kinds of posts do you most like to interact with?

Tag games? It liberally depends on the day. I struggle the most with reblogging others' writing. But I'm getting better!

What kind of posts do you most like to make?

Writing memes or relatability, or new tag games.

Finally, anywhere else online we may be able to find you?

Not anywhere that I use frequently.

#iwaw #writeblr celebration #writeblr event #writeblr #writing community

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lychee-angelica · 2 years

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astrology observations p3 📑🤍

these are just my personal observations, if it doesn’t resonate please let it go 🌬

hello angels, tysm for seven hundred followers x i deeply appreciate the support, having this space to be able to share with you all my practice is a blessing from you all ♥︎₊˚ here are some observations i scrapped up from my drafts hehe x

part one // part two *ੈ🐾‧₊˚

mercury-kirittka can make people very forthright, argumentative, outspoken or just very critically minded. these people may speak harshly in general, even in a humorous//witty way (honestly this is a quite general mercury-aries trait hehe)

venus-uttarabhadrapada these people tend to detest superficialities in love//relationships, they yearn for depth & realness. they are in general quite passive//soft lovers but on the inside they are deeply passionate//intense//wise leading them to wish ‘burning’ to all that is not ‘pure love’

mars-jyeshta can make one highly driven by some sort of depravity they may feel internally. jyeshta is all about rising from the depths of states of starvation//poverty therefore, there is great need for these people to achieve//reach great heights. the types to be motivated//fuelled by jealousy or any negative feeling, turning it into a virtue

mars-jupiter these people may have very strong opinions. tendency to be forthright & independent in one’s thoughts, ideas & opinions. one may encounter controversy due to their ideologies aswell. one may have a distaste for blindly following movements & may also love to debate issues//topics

rahu-jupiter intelligent & knowledgeable although may create a rebellious streak in a person, someone who may defy or challenge their teachers. could make someone really lucky with technology, they may often come really close to breaking a device or computer but somehow not. another observation is that these people may gravitate toward cultures//religions that are foreign to them

venus-mars these people are highly passionate, they are both romantically & sexually attractive especially to the opposite sex no matter how they look. there is this carnal sexual appeal about these people that others can sense

earth dominant people with their big three in earth signs tend to be very grounded in reality, they are practical & realistic. they are the types that may seem to have ‘dry’ or rigid personalities & may tend to rely heavily on matter of fact thinking (capricorn is the most dry of all earth signs)

lilith-1st house//ascendant a major theme i notice in these women specifically, is that they are driven to liberate raw femininity in a way that is empowering & transformational to say the least. these women are prone to objectification causing difficult lessons to be learnt, although, these women have the ability to truly transform their femininity into something liberating & powerful. natives tend to exude an unwavering allure & confidence through their bodies & sexual expression

shatabhisha-ascendent i noticed that many first impression of these people is that others think that they are high//intoxicated even when they are sober, this is due there delusive characters, others may get the impression that these people are not ‘all there’ or that they are hiding something. these people are also pretty introverted//reserved due to shatabhisha representing things that are hidden//underworld

mercury-sun these people radiate an intelligent ego & in most cases they certainly are. it is some what an important part of their identity is to be intellectually capable & respected//gives them purpose in their life.

mercury-gemini despite being a strong placement for mercury, giving high intelligence & inquisitive nature, i really suspect this placement to result in anxiety//nervousness. due to mercury ruling the nervous system & the unstable nature of mutable signs

mercury-revati i notice that these people communicate in a very poetic way, i had a friend with this placement who would write poems to me & speak in a very soft//ethereal manner

ashlesha nakshatra these women radiate femme fatale vibes more than any nakshatra. these women are intense, mystifying & seductive. these are the types who are charming//cunning and can easily manipulate//hypnotise others. these women are the most likely to lust for luxury//money and may use their qualities of beauty & intelligence to obtain their desires

#vedic astrology #astrology #astrology observations #jyotish #sidereal astrology #vedic #nakshatras

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moonbiscuitsims · 15 days

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More Stardew NPC sims: (mouse hat vendor, travelling merchant, the witch, bookseller)

The witch:

The travelling merchant:

The mouse hat vendor:

The bookseller (new patch):

Here are the in-game references:

I gave some of them names, the witch is called Dominique, Travelling merchant is called Charlotte , Mouse vendor is still just "mouse hat vendor" haven't decided yet, Bookseller is Jude. So my witch sim is gonna be mischievous and evil (though nothing too bad), mainly cause that's how I perceive her but also cause I wanted the save to have someone I could be "bad" with. I might make the henchman later but not really sure if I want to rn. The bookseller is actually one of my favourites he's this weird kooky hippie old man with a kind of playful spirit who sells books and has a hot air balloon I mean how could I not make him? He gives me Doc Emmet Brown vibes but maybe less crazy. Though he is the type that eats raw garlic and does yoga in the rain so maybe he is also a little eccentric. The mouse is so cute I love how they turned out, and I'm happy with the travelling merchant too. Honestly I thought I'd enjoy making these kinds of characters less, and I left them till last, as they're barely even interactable/in-depth and don't have portraits but it was actually way more freeing to make them in fact, I wanted and do my take on them and I'm really looking forward to building their lots too. About the cc: I don't know if I'll do any lookbook/cc lists for my stardew characters for this save, it's mostly just a personal project for now but I'll consider it if anyone really wants. Also WCIF friendly 100%, let me know if there's a cc thing you would like for your game. Some of the content is just from sims packs. I swear to Yoba I'll try to upload some of the main characters/bachelors/bachelorettes too💜it's just that I took a lot of those off the gallery and have seen so many people do them and mine aren't that much better lol and also didn't really remember how much I've changed them.

🍄You can see all my other Stardew stuff (sims and builds) here🍄

🍄Simdew valley pixel art CC set 🍄

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greenerteacups · 2 months

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Hello GT! I almost never comment on anything online, but (after binge-reading Lionheart in about three days) I'm overcome with a desperate need to confess that I've developed an enormous intellectual crush on you as an author. I've never been particularly drawn to Dramione as a pairing before now - or even the HP universe in general as more than a very casual fan - but after reading nearly 600 thousand of your words, I'd be craving more even if that number was 600 million. Thank you very much for sharing Lionheart with the world.

It's a rare pleasure to read something where an immense thoughtfulness shines through so brightly not simply in bits and pieces here and there, but consistently throughout every line and every subplot you stitch together. There are other works of fiction out there that I love, but very, very few of them have been carefully crafted enough to allow me as a reader to sit back and have unshakeable confidence in the depth of the author's vision. Everything you write, from the smallest descriptive details to the grander puzzle pieces tying together each book, is delivered with such intentionality. Sometimes when reading other fiction I'll find myself impatiently wondering "okay, fantastic build-up, but when are we getting to the *really good* part"; with you, every part is the good part. The oft-cited slow-burn mantra of "it's not the destination, it's the journey" doesn't even ring true for me with Lionheart - because in your capable hands, you hurl us straight at that destination with every chapter. All of this to say that my starstruck inner writer is currently pinning a hypothetical pin-up poster of you to my hypothetical writer-ly bedroom wall as someone to look up to.

One of my favourite aspects of your work is how utterly hilarious you are both in your character dialogue and your prose. You've made me laugh more than you've made me cry - and you're guilty of making me cry a lot, especially in Book Four. You balance us between hysterical (funny) and hysterical (dirty, raw feelings) without a trace of whiplash, quite often imparting both simultaneously. Is interweaving humour with Everything Else something that comes naturally to you while writing or is it a process you're consciously juggling?

I've brooded and preened over this message for entirely far too long, and it's not fair to you. Suffice it to say you're kinder than I deserve and this made me want to cry. Any and all pin-up posters of me should render me looking like a deer in headlights, as is the appropriate reaction to this kind of honor.

I'm especially delighted by the hysteria (plural)! In general, it's easier for me to write humor than it is for me to write drama. Not that either one is easy as such, but I think drama requires more architecture. You don't have to explain if a joke is funny; it just is funny, and the audience knows why the characters are laughing/amused/happy. In drama, you have to achieve a certain level of technical character work to set up the punch of a moment; there's stakes, plotting, resonance, etc., and then you have to actually deliver it in a way that isn't either flippant, ironic, or Narm. Basically, there are more axes of failure. And the stakes of a joke failing are pretty low, too: worst case, your audience is like "eh, not that funny" and they move on. If a dramatic moment fails, it can take the legs out from under a whole arc.

One of my tests for whether a moment is ripe for comedy is the question of what the comedy is doing. Is it a realistic reflection of the character's voice in that situation? And, perhaps more importantly: why am I feeling the need to put comedy in this scene? Do I want it because it's natural and tone-appropriate, or am I trying to disguise my own insecurity about the dramatic content of the scene? If the latter, I tend to cut. You can't write from fear, you know?

#greenteacup asks #'with you every part is the good part' this is so wildly moving and poetic. what the fuck. i'm stealing this for my wedding vows.

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moeitsu · 1 month

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Ok that persons comment about your fic and Arthur’s weight seriously annoys me!! I can’t imagine how you feel.

I know I’ve been kind of a silent reader (i don’t usually comment a lot) but I have to say i love your fanfic. There’s so many things i like about it but i wanted to say, i really appreciated how you portrayed Arthur’s guilt. Him diving into food and alcohol as a way to numb himself almost made me tear up. I don’t think it’s out of character at all. In fact i think it’s incredibly in character. I think the fact alone that the game lets you get wasted, as well as make Arthur overweight/underweight has some semblance to this, even tho those are entirely up to the player.

Survivors guilt is real and the manner you discussed it was very raw and emotional. Just that chapter alone you added SO MUCH depth to his character. I think anon just has this idea in their head that Arthur is a stoic unemotional killing machine. But He is a human being with human emotions. And i think you presented them to us in a very endearing and respectful way.

Gosh thank you so much🥹

Honestly, their comment really doesn’t bother me. I couldn’t care less if someone doesn’t like what i write. Had they asked me why i chose to go that route w/ his insecurity i would have happily answered.

But i appreciate you so much, even if you’re a silent reader. Just the fact that you like my story means the world to me. ♥️♥️

#rdr2 #arthur morgan #red dead fandom #ao3 fanfic #arthur morgan x original female character

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another-lost-mc · 5 days

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thoughts on obey me as an actual game? anything u wan a change if given the chance?

it honestly makes me mad everytime i think about the obvious lack of effort for world building but specifically for the nobility plotline... sooooo underutilized it's upsetting. like i've read isekai manhwas with better use/grasp of the nobility and political climate... also (can't remember if it's from swd or nb) the fact that lucifer and the brothers' are basically living off an allowance/salary set for them by diavolo is just... ugh. they couldn't have given them actual positions with titles ??? they couldn't have brought their title as princes/lords of the underworld into play ??? like i get they did it for the game, for shits and giggles and idk maybe it's just me lawl

sorry for ranting lmao i've sent asks a couple times and i quite like your insights and takes on things. was wondering if you'd have anything to say 🫡

I love talking about this stuff! I know it's a dating game and the lore/world building is basically an afterthought because the game's focus is on MC's relationships with the characters now, and not necessarily on the world/characters before MC existed or became involved.

I've mentioned before that the world feels really empty to me at times because they don't really talk about characters that exist (in a meaningful way) unless they're the established dateables (or soon-to-be dateables) for MC. Many of them are nameless demons/angels (the demon lords, the owner of The Fall that's been mentioned more than once by his title but not name), generic sorcerers and angels we know exist in the other realms. (For some reason, Uriel has been name-dropped twice with very little info besides that.)

Part of my motivation for developing the angel/demon OCs is to give more context and depth to the world that MC interacts with, even if they don't necessarily interact with MC in their own day to day lives. There are countless Devildom businesses that keep the realm running – who owns them? Who are the demons that develop their technology and vehicles? Who are the demons that acquire the raw materials used to build these items, or design/build the Devildom's architecture and homes? Who are the professsors at RAD and the other students? They're probably not all demons born from nobility, so where did they come from? What do the parts of hell outside the Devildom metropolis look like? Do they live on other levels? Rings? How easy can you travel between them, or why would you want to (or not want to)? Who are the demons that make up the demon armies and where do they live? Also, how in the world did Solomon end up in pacts with so many powerful demon lords, and now that he's not a power-hungry king, how do those pacts serve him (and the demons he's bound to)?

So yeah, maybe I think about the game world a lot because there's so much potential that goes ignored. I understand that the game isn't meant to be an in-depth look at the Devildom or Celestial Realm outside of what's relevant for character development or plot purposes, but it would be nice to have answers for some of the obvious questions that come up over time. Some of the information we're given in Nightbringer feels incomplete or doesn't match the tone/characterization we were presented with in the OG game either which makes me worry about continuity issues and retconning going forward.

(This got long so the rest is going behind a read-more link. lol)

When I started developing/outlining The Fall, it was meant to be a personal interpretation of the game's lore and my own creative spin on filling in all the gaps. At the heart of it, it's a love story between two angels-turned-demons. But the worlds they live in change over time, and there's a lot of nuance and deeper insights to explain how and why those things happen.

Some of the topics I wanted to explore in this project include:

Rank/power structures in the Celestial Realm. Basically, how do the various ranks of angels interact with each other, and how do they view angels with ranks higher or lower than their own?

Xenophobia. How angels and demons interact and perceive the other races/species. Metatron is an angel that was originally born as a human and ascended to the Celestial Realm after being chosen by Father to do so. Knowing that, how does his former human life impact what other angels think of him, if it does at all? (Spoiler: It does.) There's also significant issues that come up with the arrival of fallen angels, although Meta and Azra falling has very different reactions compared to Lucifer and the others later.

The role of the Seraphim. This story begins before the Celestial War with Lucifer, so he and Michael are still the two primary beacons of power in the Celestial Realm. How often do they agree or disagree on handling disputes, and how do they resolve their differences of opinion? I also wanted to explain the role of other Seraphim – basically, it's not just Michael or Lucifer calling the shots, and the other Seraphim are expected to lend their voices to discussions/debates about serious matters and it's treated almost like a council where majority vote wins if they can't all agree on something.

Side note: I really don't like the idea that Michael (or any of the other Seraphs) are free to do whatever they want without any sort of accountability or repercussions. I think the things Michael might want to do (ex. sneaking into the Devildom in disguise) and what he should do (literally anything but that) are two completely different things, and being emotional/grief-stricken isn't a good excuse for a leader that wants to YOLO his way through his problems when he has an entire realm of citizens he is responsible for. Gabriel is my solution to some of Michael's emotional impulses and rash decision making. He's the angel OC that acts as Michael's voice of reason when he struggles to separate logic and reason from emotions. He keeps Michael in-check when he wants to do things that are too erratic or personal, but he whole-heartedly supports Michael's plans or ideas that benefit the Celestial Realm. I like to imagine Gabriel and Barbatos are similar in that way and have the potential to be good friends as they bond and commiserate over their loyalties to leaders that sometimes act like spoiled children.

Fallen angels in general. There are a lot of fallen angels besides Lucifer and his brothers. Meta and Azra are two angels that go through the process of falling together and I had a lot of ideas about how I think that looks on a physical and spiritual level. There are differences for angels that are cast out by the Seraphim for breaking the rules/putting the Celestial Realm at risk vs. angels that choose to fall vs. angels that are punished by Father for defying him regardless of what the Seraphim choose. Azra and Meta's motivations and reasons for how/why they fall are slightly different, and how that plays out (and the impact on the angels left behind) are different too. They don't have a pre-existing relationship with Diavolo to pave the way for their new lives in the Devildom either, so how do they cope? Who helps them start their new lives, and how do they navigate being strangers in a foreign land while undergoing the physical and emotional changes of becoming demons? Diavolo's father is still the Demon King when they fall and it's only Belial's involvement that keeps things from completely going off the rails after their arrival. The fact that Belial himself is a former angel has its own significance. There isn't a manual or one-size-fits-all approach to this either, and Azra and Meta demonstrate how the Devildom's negligence of their newest citizens can lead to disastrous results sooner or later.

Navigating tension and conflict between the Celestial Realm and Devildom. There is violence that breaks out between the two realms, so how does the Celestial Realm respond to that sort of crisis? Once in the Devildom, there's a glimpse of how the Demon King (Diavolo's father) handles these developments and why the conflict happened at all. (Spoiler alert: Belial is an antagonist in this part of the story for a reason.)

What is Solomon up to? He has all these pacts with powerful demons and he's no stranger to the Devildom, so of course he's going to be interested to meet some new fallen angels – especially one with as much power and common interests as Metatron. Solomon is very human in this story too. He has his own selfish motivations for getting involved, but he also shows genuine care and concern for those he considers friends. He gets involved maybe more than he should, but for good reasons. He's a useful bridge to help the demons understand some of the obvious implications of having ex-angels living in their world. He also manipulates things a bit behind the scenes because of his connection to Barbatos (and therefore Diavolo) but there's no immature feud souring their relationship in this story. (Gonna be honest, I do not think Barbatos's problem with Solomon had anything to do with his place on Solomon's list of demons.)

Lesser demons and the nobility. I wanted to explore the lives of lesser demons versus the lives of noble demons. Where they live, what they do for a living, how they view demons of higher/lower ranks than themselves and other races. Zee's an example of a lesser demon who does whatever he needs to do to earn a living for himself, and Azra doesn't have much clout behind him so they almost meet each other as equals. It's an interesting look at their friendship and the way connections to more powerful demons (like Belial) help them both make better lives for themselves in the central Devildom where they eventually grow their business and social reputations. Meta, despite being a fallen Seraph, has practically no motivation or reputation to speak of and this has its own consequences later. But Zee's not the only lesser demons in this story, and if you thought the nobility in Nightbringer had problems with fallen angels, the lesser demons are far more hostile towards them – they're the ones on the front lines whenever war with the Celestial Realm breaks out, so its understandable they might not be very welcoming. For the demon nobility, the ones that aren't actively criticising fallen angels are mostly indifferent to them, but that's not such a great thing either.

There are other areas I wonder about that I don't explore in The Fall, but I hope to do so for the various OCs and their stories. The Devildom's power hierarchy/use of titles is one of them. The demons of the Ars Goetia all of their own armies at their disposal, and some are dukes while others are kings. That doesn't seem to have any meaning or impact in the game world, but surely there are ways that can affect how the demon nobility interacts with each other? It certainly made a difference to Solomon, I doubt he would've wanted so many pacts if the demons didn't have anything to offer him at the time. The how and why of Solomon's pacts is it's own area of exploration, which I hope to do with Belial and Bathin.

#I have SO MANY THOUGHTS #can you tell that I studied history #I want to know ALL THE THINGS #jes.replies #jes.world building

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fruitsofhell · 5 months

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Goofy ah Forgotten Land essay incoming:

It took me till like a week ago to realize that KATFL writes Elfilis and Forgo as being the same characters and I don't know how to feel about that. I feel Forgo is more interesting as it's own being the way Elfilin is from 'Lis, because I like the idea of them both being these smaller figments of the past self reduced to childish forms representing absolutes of the original. But at the same time, what made me realize that this isn't the game's intention is when I was going to say something about how hollow Elfilis is as a character in comparison to Forgo.

So really, you either make Forgo and Elfilis effectively one character and Elfilin another, negating Forgo of its own identity as a pathetic pitiable beast so that Elfilis continues to have a presence - or you make all three of them seperate characters, and Elfilis loses what they gain as a character from Forgo's motivations.

Elfilis has not a single defined motive for why it attacked the people of the Forgotten Land very much unlike other Kirby villains who can atleast say something like, "power/gain (Magolor), vanity/power (Sectonia), greed (Haltmann), or vengeance (Hyness)". Elfilis and Forgo are often described as invasive species, but what that entails isn't obvious because all we know about 'Lis' evil intentions is from Forgo. But Forgo has its own motivations that exist outside of Elfilis' original wishes - that being its captivity in Lab Discovera, which is very strong on its own.

It adds a very engaging sense of darkness to the legacy of the Forgotten Land, and makes you pity and understand its raw animosity as much as you wish to defend the world from it. The fact that Elfilis was a violent invader rather than just some other alien adds little to its motive, but does add thematic garnish to the idea of how alien life has approached the Forgotten Land. But at the same time, Forgo's captivity is such a strong motivator it really could have stood on its own and still been effective as an alien antithesis to Kirby... Though I admit not as much as what Elfilis is.

Probably to most people that have been reading straight from the games intentions, the former sounds more appealing than the latter. But, probably due to my own stubbornness and bias I really really do love them being 3 seperate entities even at the expense of depth for Elfilis. Because one of my favorite reoccurring themes in this series is vain idealization of the past fucking villains over.

I like this in Taranza's devotion to a Sectonia that no longer exists, Susie to a father that has long since been lost in his own mad schemes to find her, and Hyness obsessing over a very flawed understanding of his cult's past. And I USED TO LIKE the idea that Magolor's obsession with the crown was him, as a *Halcandran* glorifying Halcandra's past relics, but CANT HAVE THAT ANYMORE.

If the Kirby writers don't got me anymore, I guess I'll got myself. I like the idea of Forgo being as seperate from Elfilis as 'Lin is, but while Elfilin is all of their originals innocence, purity, and hope, Forgo is its raw anger and vengefulness. Visually taking Elfilis's soft/mammalian and alien/insectoid motifs respectively, but both distinctly being immature and incomplete states. Elfilis was not just that anger nor just that hope (wherever it came from), and is only the culmination of those two sides, it's a symbol of a self the two can never be on their own - one that Forgo idealizes and one Elfilin avoids.

For the sake of the ending where Elfilin reclaims the last bit of Forgo/Elfilis that is willing to go on, I prefer the mutuality of Forgo and Elfilin moving on together, rather than Elfilin just accepting Elfilis if that makes ANY sense. I just like the way Forgo and Elfilin parallel eachother more than he does with 'Lis? I like the narrative of healing that acknowledges that Forgo and Elfilin are both lost and grieving children, rather than Elfilin abandoned Elfilis who then became Forgo. Like the latter feels oddly possessive and unbalanced.

And as I said in line with past series themes, I kinda like the idea that whatever the fuck Elfilis had going on is irrelevant, just as seeing the faces of the people of the Forgotten Land is irrelevant - all that is relevant is what was left behind. I like the idea that Elfilis cannot really speak for itself anymore as a character the way the people of the Forgotten Land can only speak through their ruins and audio recordings. And as those people left behind a legacy of reclaimed wonder and terrible cruelty, in response, Elfilis left behind one of innocent hope and unbridled anger. I'd prefer to try and piece together what those two opposing visions say of their predecessor than just assume one speaks for them in its entirely I s'pose...

#kirby #kirby and the forgotten land #katfl #fecto forgo #fecto elfilis #elfilin #shut the heck up #media analysis #this may sound kooky cause i REALLY font engage with fanon when it comes to katfl #and as you can see i had my own strong biased takeaways from the story #elfilin is near comfort character levels so this is vert important to me...#and katfl near comfort game lol #i think another way to put is... is that i expected and want character consistency with the visual consistency #if elfilis is the two together i dont expect the two perfectly parallel halves to have one just be the old one in personality #i expect that like their designs they are incomplete aspects #tag talking

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toxooz · 6 months

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Hi! Long time lurker and fan, but I just have to say I love how you create and treat monsters! Reading your comic and looking at your art really got me back to drawing monsters and thinking more in depth on how I treat and create my characters (monster or not). I also think it's so cool how your monsters STILL ARE MONSTERS. Even in the context of being in a "modern society" they still feel like and act like monsters (Idk to me its in the same context of seeing and interacting with wild animals. A lion will still hunt, a chimp will still rip your face off if you smile wrong kind of thing if that makes sense). They aren't humans in creature costumes. There nature as monsters is not only integrated in their design but the society they live in at large. Which I think points to your strength in world building too! Anyway, just wanted to tell you that. As a soon to be animation master degree graduate trying to post work online now, your work has really encouraged me during tough times. Can't wait to see more!

(P.S. I love a good masked man and the way you draw König so unhinged and cryptid like is so *chef kiss*)

YEAH!!! I definitely strive to make them as animalistic as humanly possible sksksk i crave the balance between humanity and the fact that we're all just a bunch of mammals with other creatures on this earth at the end of the day so i love to play off of animals and their behaviors and anatomy bc there's so many opportunities in that alone plus i try to stay true to the whole rule of 'if your character was just a plain ol human and everything was the exact same you didn't do it right' along those lines meaning if i give them any animalistic qualities whether it be tails or claws or color patterns whatever i try to demonstrate how they would use that quality to their advantage how how they would behave ect. and honestly i feel like im not doing that enough and i want incorporate that more into Wheel Bitten in future pages! bc that's what makes the monster universe a Monster Universe lolol same with the nature vs nurture like Ollies inherent bloodlust from him being raised to kill and eat raw meat if he so chooses or Ponti literally being raised to kill the whole concept of carnivores and the strain on that within a modern humanistic society all that good stuff so im HELLA glad u picked up on that!! 😭 so best of luck with the masters degree and may u succeed at incredible rates!🌟🎉🌟

(also yeS unhinged deranged socially inept little creepy with a fleeting touch of sweet König is the breath in my lungs 😭)

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chubbydino · 2 months

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I just finished reading Fool's Gold.

I feel an overwhelming amount of a myriad of emotions, and the need to put it all into words, imbued with the certainity that I will never find the words to express the true depth of what I feel, nor will there ever be a time when what I have to say will even begin to tell you just how much gravity and meaning this story holds.

nevertheless, I will try.

rpf rids you of the difficulty of creating a character - it gives you a name, face, quirks that make them true to their person, a life and circumstances, and above it all the freedom to do with that what you will. this often comes with the cost of your characters, who are real people, becoming mere puppets of a story, vessels intended to tell it.

to be able to tell a story that has never happened as you wish to tell it, centred around people that very much breathe, live, and exist all while making them true to their own person is no easy task. and yet you've done it so irreproachably. you've somehow painstakingly, and impeccably struck a balance between creating a world for them, whilst still writing an ode to them as real people.

I went into Fool's Gold wary of the tags, staunchly believing you couldn't convince me of many of the things you had implied. I understand now. there wasn't a single sentence that I didn't believe with my full heart.

my simple mind couldn't even begin comprehending how you managed to weave such an intricate, riveting plot. there's not a single thing you didn't think of. every sentence you wrote felt like it was thought out and decided well before any of these people or these events happened. everytime I thought I knew what was happening, you very artfully reminded, I in fact, did not.

you had such generously fleshed out stories and love for every character that I couldn't help but wonder how you could conclude so very many relationships in a sensible way. nevertheless I trusted you to write an epilogue that would be delicate, sensible and bittersweet, much like most meaningful stories.

having read the last chapter, beginning the epilogue confused me. and then i was fraught with anger. what of the stories you told me before ? what of them ? and then as i continued to read, i felt as if i had been doused with water, not the kind that leaves you shaking and spluttering, but the gentle kind a mother bestows upon her child - with care and love, and in some parts the feeling that times will not always be like this. suddenly I wanted to be nowhere but where you had taken me, hear no other story than the one you were telling in that moment. and just like that, it was over.

thank you, with everything in me, thank you.

i don't really have words to properly articulate myself, but thank you. fool's gold will always be special to me in many ways, and allowed me to engage in F1 in a way far beyond how i'd been doing so for years prior.

it has its flaws and there are parts people hate about it (including the epilogue lol) and there are a lot of things i would improve in the fic, but the joy of fanfic for me is that it is what it is, raw and unpolished. FG really taught me a lot about myself and opened a lot of doors for me that would be firmly shut if i hadn't accepted a $5 venmo for coffee from my dear friend who wanted me to write my crazy rpf idea.

i'd never written rpf before FG and wow did it change my whole opinion on rpf 😂 f1 rpf is still the wild west in many ways but i LOVE writing my messed up takes on these guys who i have no clue about irl 😂😂😂

#asks #FG #fools gold

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veryferaldistributions · 7 months

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Why “Some Like it Bot” Hits Differently

The season 12 finale of “Bob’s Burgers” is a fantastic, Tina-centered two-part episode called “Some Like it Bot.” Most of the episode is comprised of Tina’s “Blade Runner” friend fiction in which she, Jimmy Jr., and Zeke are robots that have to pretend to be human and avoid getting “wiped,” or having their personalities erased. She writes this because she was excited about a new t-shirt she bought that she was eager to show off at school, but that Tammy said on the Wagstaff News was “weird.”

Even in this fantasy world, Tina is a babysitter, and there’s a part where the girl’s mom finds out Tina is a robot and thinks she is “dangerous” and calls the police, despite never having evidence that Tina means the kid any harm. This is a great analogy for how allistic people may view autistic people as potentially harmful.

Towards the end of part one, Tina sings this amazing song called “What if They’re Right.” And for me, and many other neurodivergent viewers, something really hit home about the lyrics. Specifically this one: “Feel’s like something’s wrong with me and they know it/they took one look my way and exposed it.”

Growing up undiagnosed is brutal specifically for this reason. It really does feel like everyone can tell there’s something “wrong” with you except for you. It’s like bullies can smell it. No matter how hard you try to fit in, to wear the right clothes, to say the right things, something never quite clicks. And you end up asking yourself for years and years what that thing could be. And when you finally know, it’s this overwhelming sense of “my god, all those wasted years! Why did I try so hard? Why couldn’t I just be me and know I’d never make them happy no matter what?”

And Tina’s sense of justice in this episode, slightly warped as it may be, just adds to the autism part of her character. We do go too far, we can make split decisions that cost us our jobs, our schooling, even our relationships. And we may think we’re doing the right thing the whole time even when we’re doing something very damaging. But we can still mean well.

I love that the show keeps adding depth and dimensions to these already well-formed characters. This episode felt so raw and personal and real. It’s one of the best Tina episodes, if not THE best Tina episode.

#tina belcher #tina #bob’s burgers #essay #autism #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #some like it bot #autistic

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cf56 · 1 year

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Ripping them a new one

What. The. HELL?! I can't even begin to describe the depth of my anger and sorrow right now.

The following profanity-laced rant represents only a fraction of my true feelings on this.

If you don't know what I'm referring to, I'm talking about the line to start episode 8, where Yakko and Dot say, in front of him, that Wakko is the worst sibling and they don't need him. Well, I thought it'd only be a line, but it turns out they did it MULTIPLE TIMES!!!

And then the stupid fucking cop out that feels like it's mocking us for giving a shit.

I was spoiled on this line over a month ago because someone talked about the storyboard leaks in the Animaniacs tag. Reading about it almost killed my fandom. Right there, instantly, my love for Animaniacs came this close to dying. It took me weeks before I felt anywhere close to where I was before in regards to loving this show. Why? Because the main and only reason I remain so attached to Animaniacs is the Warner Siblings' love for each other. What's the point in angst if there was never any love to test? What's the point in fluff if that love is hollow and empty, if it never really existed at all? Now, I'm glad I was spoiled and had time to recover. If I saw this bullshit raw, in the show for the first time, there's no telling what it would have done to me. I might have just stopped watching.

I don't care about Yakko's flimsy cop out. This is not what you say to someone you love. This is not something you say about someone you love, even if they didn't happen to be sitting right there. You realize what these words mean? They think they'd be better off without Wakko. THEIR BELOVED BROTHER. It's not so much that they joked about him dying and coming back. I can excuse that as sibling jabs, even if I would still hate it. It's that Yakko said he's always thought that their act would work better as just him and Dot. No, you didn't always think that. You BETTER not have always thought that.

Wakko has suffered emotional abuse before. He's been paraded around as the least popular sibling, as smelly and uncultured, as a gluttonous pig. Through all of that, what did he always have? His siblings, boosting him up, protecting him from the noise. Now the noise is coming from inside his family. That's unacceptable. There was one instance in the original that came close to this. When Yakko tried to sell Wakko in their Jack and the Beanstalk parody, because he gets less fan mail than Dot. That was still miles better than this. For one, it wasn't in their base reality. It was in a parody that would clearly be non-canonical. Second, Yakko didn't go out of his way to verbally abuse his little brother and try to make him feel less valued as a member of the group. It was just a hard necessity, as callous as it might have been.

Yakko would never say something like this. The thought would never even come close to crossing his mind. Dot would never agree to a statement like that. If she heard Yakko say it, she'd wonder what alien came in and replaced her older brother. Least of all would they say it right in front of Wakko, as if they're deliberately trying to hurt him.

It baffles me. It truly baffles me. Was this the writer's first day on the job? How do you go three fucking seasons and not know the first thing about the characters you're writing? The way Yakko and Dot are portrayed here is ten times more out of character than they've ever been written in any fanfic ever posted. Worse, this had to go through producers, storyboarders, animators, the showrunner, and they all looked at this and thought it was okay. I can't truly blame the voice actors, because they're under contract and have to do their jobs, but they should have known their characters well enough to know they would never say these lines. That they shouldn't say these lines.

I truly can't wrap my head around it. Where does this come from? What could possess anyone to think this is a good idea, even an acceptable idea, for even a single millisecond? Does it come from the Family Guy writing culture, where absolutely nothing is sincere, even relationships between friends and family? Do they just not know how to write sarcastic characters that also truly love their closest family members?

They had the audacity to claim they were listening to fan feedback for this season. Tell me, look at all the most popular fan compilations on YouTube about the reboot. Are they filled with moments of the siblings being cold and callous to each other, or are they filled with the opposite? How blind do you have to be to misunderstand the soul of your show and your fanbase so fucking badly? It almost feels malicious. Like someone on the writing staff had a bad experience with their own siblings and made it their personal mission to destroy and pervert the bond between the closest set of siblings on TV. I thought they were starting to get it right with season 2. Season 3, they had to look at what all the fans were saying and realize that they could go even further, right? Give us all the sibling fluff we could ever need? Instead they went the opposite direction. It's becoming clear to me that "listening to fan feedback" really meant listening to "Pinky and the Brain fan feedback." I don't mean to drive a wedge between certain parts of the fandom, but that's just how it seems to be. It's absolutely not the fault of any of the fans who talked about the show.

People will tell me to just forget about it, to consider it non-canon or as something the Warners had to do as part of the script. I literally cannot. Have you ever wondered why all my headcanons are so close to canon? I have freaking OCD. I need everything to be in order, I need there to be a way to make sense of everything together. I can't just ignore certain parts of the show and pretend like they never happened.

I can't even make angst out of this. I can't explain it away in a fanfic or with theorizing. This is the only thing in Animaniacs I can say that about. That's how unforgivably bad it is. It just goes so completely against everything about the characters of the Warners and the spirit of the show that it might as well be foreign to it.

This will affect me for a long time. Some might look at this rant and think I care too much. Yes, I care too fucking much. Look at my blog, for God's sake. Being aware of that doesn't change how I feel. Normally, I try to be courteous. I try to give the reboot the benefit of the doubt, because I truly do value many of the things it's added to Animaniacs. In this case, I don't care. Fuck whoever wrote these lines. Fuck every single person who saw them along the way and gave them their approval. Congratulations on a job well done. This hurts my heart and it will continue to do so for years to come, if not my entire life. I am devastated.

#animaniacs #animaniacs season 3 #animaniacs 2020 #animaniacs reboot #animaniacs spoilers #animaniacs episode 8 #the warner siblings #yakko wakko and dot #cfposts

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twopoppies · 2 years

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hi :)) i know you've done a fic rec for really short fics, i think it was like 1k or something, but are there any that are around or under 10k that you enjoyed? thank you!!

Hi love. Yeah, that was a rec for fics under 5K. You want a rec for fics between 5 and 10K?

Night Shift by banaanipoika (E, 9K) This was incredibly sexy and beautifully written. I loved that there was such a unique setting with so much descriptive language making me feel like I could smell and feel everything in that hospital room.

Devil in my brain, whispering my name by @lunarheslwt (E, 9K) I thought this author struck a great balance between the dirtiness of a demon defiling an angel and the way the angel gave in to his desire to be defiled. Super sexy.

pull you closer (kiss me harder) by sunshineandthemoonlight (E, 6K) This was absolutely beautiful — just the perfect amount of tension and wistfulness to make me tear up. But then it was sexy and full of hope at the end. I loved how Louis supported Harry and gave him exactly what he needed (and really, H gave Louis what he needed, too).

Allegro/Adagio by coffinofachimera (E, 9K) everything I’ve read from this author has been so beautifully written, and this is no exception. Yes, it’s filthy, but they give such depth to the characters’ reasons for the way they “play”. And this is one of the rare fics that really take us through the build up to the scene, straight through to aftercare. I really loved this one.

your quietest voice by flimsy (E, 8K) Beautiful writing (like, just savor the sentences…they’re so pretty) and a really unique concept for time travel.

no one's gonna know by jishler / @snowjosh (E, 9K) This author always does such a wonderful job of writing an established relationship fic where there’s so much warmth and expression between the characters, while also showing how much lust and passion there is. This is chock full of edging, exhibitionism, and dom/sub dynamics and it’s such a good read.

Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover by @lovingstheantidote (E, 7K) This was sensual, erotic, and beautifully written. The author took a restaurant visit and a flirty first meeting, and turned it into something mouthwateringly sexy.

boy with kaleidoscope eyes by docklands (E, 8K) This was just lovely. There was so much tender sweetness in the way they treated each other and I loved that even though it was just in Louis’ POV, we still got a very clear picture of how Harry felt. Honestly Louis in this fic is just sweetest thing ever. Harry should marry that boy.

Twist the Knife by jishler / @snowjosh (E, 6K) This fic packed such a punch in so few words (I’m beginning to realize that this author excels at that). It’s raw, sexy, and so emotional; I was left both totally fulfilled, and wanting more.

Tiptoe Through Our Shiny City by graceling_in_a_suit / @graceling-in-a-suit (T, 8K) This one is quirky and charming, with great banter and a fun premise. It’s also one of the only fics I’ve read where Harry is demisexual. I really enjoyed this one.

I Love My Hands Around Your Neck by @fournipplesau (E, 6K) Hello... this was really hot. I just loved the dynamic between the two of them—you really get a sense of the difference between them when they play and how they interact when they’re not. Also, just really hot. Did I say that already? Yeah.

something wicked this way comes by cosycryptid / @liamloveslarry (E, 7K) weird, unique, and delightfully quirky. I’ve read a bunch from this author and they can all be described that way, all well as having sparse, crisp writing. This one has a Twin Peaks vibe, and a very concerned Louis trying his best to protect Harry.

The bed and the carpet by orphan_account (E, 8K) So, this was written a while ago, and because of that there are some things which... irk me (like the use of “orbs”). But it’s really gentle and sweet and sexy. Thanks to the anon who told me they cried reading it. I did, too.

Diamonds and Pearls by superglass (NR, 7K) Absolutely gorgeous writing. Tender, delicate, dreamy. Set in NY in the 1980s, so read the tags. I just really loved this one and look forward to reading more of this author’s writing.

Everything You Do by jishler / @snowjosh (E, 7K) This is my favorite of a 3-part collection (all of which are good), and wow. The author explores gender struggles in way that is incredibly tender and emotional, while still writing a super sexy fic. Loved this one.

horizontal like a quarter to three by orphan_account (E, 9K) I always love fics that do kink discovery well, and this one is a favorite. Gentle, loving Louis realizing he wants to get rough with his sweet boyfriend? Gimme that.

gets me overwhelmed by crybaby (E, 7K) Read the tags on this one because it has a number of things in it that some may not enjoy, but if it passes your test it’s a super smutty good read.

sweet baby, our sex has meaning by publunchesownmyass (E, 8K) This author manages to make this fic romantic and filthy and super sexy all at once. Plus, Harry in that lace dress and you’ve got a winner.

mon petit, little one by publunchesownmyass (E, 6K) Yes, you guessed it. Harry wears that fluffy sweater from the Tiny Desk performance in a much less innocent moment. I characterizations, banter, and situation felt really authentic and this fic is super sexy.

Love you in the dark by Perzikje (E, 10K) This is such a tender and moving portrait of these characters. This author does a great job at capturing Harry’s struggle with the shame he feels (yes, I cried), and then beautifully portrays the balm of the way Louis loves him.

til you get what you want by eleadore (E, 5K) This is one of my favorite authors, so if you enjoy this one, please check out their others. This one is is such a fun combo of smut and banter.

Fine Line by bananaheathen (T, 5K) Have I mentioned I love this author? The dialogue and banter in this is top notch. Just a delightful fic that feels perfect at 5K, and at the same time I wish there was 100K more.

little black dress (it's all right) by istajmaal (E, 8K) I think this might have been one of the very first genderfluid Harry fics I read; this author was ahead of their time way back in 2013. It’s so sexy and incredibly gentle and tender and I just love the way they write.

I Think I’m Addicted To Your Light by supernope (E, 9K) Light hearted, sexy office romance fic. I wish my company parties were this much fun. 👀

an island without waves by tofiveohfive (NR, 5K) This is one of my favorite authors for exes to lovers fics. They really do a terrific job of getting right in there with the painful self-realizations and struggle. This one is no exception. Plus, it references one of my favorite films and has one of my favorite tropes: a love confession in a rain storm.

The Way You Smile Golden by PearlyDewdrops (M, 6K) Beautifully written slice of life where I just felt everything this author described––from the stuffy bar to the freezing beach to the confusing emotions both characters had. It’s just lovely.

So much stays unknown till the time comes by becka (E, 5K) Another old one by another author I really like. A short time travel fic that is both sad and sexy. It’s got a bit of an open ending, but you still get the sense everything is going to work out. It’s just a touching little fic (read tags, there’s some internalized homophobia in this one).

blood bank by starseas (E, 9K) I think I was on a roll with old fics by authors I like, because this is another one. This author just writes beautifully and this fic is wonderfully dreamy, poetic, and sexy.

hot, sticky sweet by Awriterwrites (E, 6K) This one holds a place in my heart because it’s the first fic I drew art for, and it began a beautiful friendship. But ALSO, this fic is fun and crazy sexy and involves Harry in short shorts and roller skates.

Cancel your reservations, no more hesitations by 14hrflight (E, 10K) I think this might have been the first alpha/alpha ABO I ever read and it’s really a good one—gender identity, body dysmorphia, but also so much comfort and understanding and sexiness.

violence of my own touch by orphan_account (E, 5K) I just found this fic today, actually, and was so moved by the way this author portrayed both Harry and Louis — the exhaustion, the confusion, the sadness, but also the deep love and need for each other.

Forever, Uninterrupted by sparkk (E, 9K) Written in Harry’s POV, this one is sexy and emotional, with great dirty talk and some serious jealousy on Harry’s part. I really enjoyed this one a lot.

a virgin to that money by eversincewefellapart (E, 7K) Broke univeristy students who don’t really like each other agree to make a sex tape for money. What could go wrong? This one is sharp, funny, and sexy.

Have a Nice Trip by @kingsofeverything (E, 6K) I didn’t know I needed horny Harry tripping on ‘shrooms, but I definitely did! This is really funny and sweet. Definitely a quarantine pick me up

Strip That Down by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10 (E, 8K) I particularly liked the way this one worked in the pain kink and body worship in a different way than I’ve seen it done before. Sexy, fun read.

baby, i’m speeding, and red lights are run by benzos (E, 7K) this author has such a gritty, realistic way of writing. I really enjoyed all the little details that made you feel as though you could get inside and understand the characters. Plus, super hot smut.

however do you want me, however do you need me by moonshinelouis (E, 7K) I just love a bit of baby boyfriends and kink exploration. This one does it so well.

Gentle Sin by userkant (E, 8K) I love when people write about kink discovery and kink exploration. This one was sweet and sexy and I loved their dynamics.

But When We Kiss… by @indiaalphawhiskey (E, 8K) At last this author has graced us with another fic and it’s a filthy, fantastic Sugar Baby Harry fic. Hallelujah! But seriously, their writing is so good, the dynamics are so hot, and Harry is just the perfect kind of desperate in this one. Go read it!

When The Wolves Come Out by rosemarianthyme (2-part series, E, 7K) This is the first time I’ve seen anyone write ABO as kink exploration and I loved it. I loved how open and supportive Louis is in this series and how much that allows both of them to explore and connect. The second part of the series is actually a prequel, FYI.

give me forever for a while by mercutionotromeo (E, 5K) This one involves a collar, but in a slightly different way – this time it’s kitten play. I always love the way this author writes their smut and this one is full of dirty talk and soft dom Louis using Harry.

#short fics 5-10K #larry fic rec #my fic rec

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