#the diary of a broken record ✰ alex

[plut0vers3]

[cuuno-moved]

FROM THE DIARY OF KARL JACOBS:

Your name is Karl Jacobs.

That is very important. You cannot forget that.

You have two husbands, named Alex and Sapnap Jacobs.

Alex goes by Quackity, or Q, sometimes. He calls you mi amor (my love) and mi vida (my life). You call him darling and sunshine. He’s the smaller one, with the messy dark hair and brown skin. He wears a hat all the time, and has an eyepatch.

Sapnap calls you froggy, and sugar. You call him panda and cupcake. He’s the big one, with the shoulder length hair (usually in a man-bun), earrings and eyebrow slit. He looks a little bit mean, but he’s the sweetest guy on earth.

You live in a big house, with a red door.

If Sapnap brings home a cat, let him keep it.

If either finds a spider, you’ll have to kill it.

DO NOT TOUCH QUACKITY WITHOUT WARNING ESPECIALLY ON THE HIPS OR SHOULDERS.

Remember to water the plants.

You wash the dishes on Fridays.

If Quackity has a panic attack, sit beside him, hug him, and rub his back.

If Sapnap has a panic attack, move away, sit with your back to the opposite wall and talk to him.

If you have a panic attack, don’t let them know, press your hands to your chest and count the breaths. Sometimes it helps to list things you can see in your head.

The code to the security system is 1144.

You sleep in the middle, with Alex on the left and Sapnap on the right. If Sapnap snores, try to roll him on his back. If Quackity starts sleep talking, record it to laugh about later.

You always wear bright colors. Do not try to wear black or grey, they will get worried. Do not wear white, they will be confused.

If you have a headache, you’re probably having caffeine withdrawal, get a Monster energy from the fridge. You like the white ones most.

Take your meds. You have two, one for adhd and one for anxiety. Take one of each in the morning. Sapnap has meds too, remind him to take them.

Quackity puts cheese in his hot chocolate. Feel free to call it gross, because it is.

If he calls you ‘honey buns’, respond with ‘baby birdie’.

If Sapnap makes jokes about being stupid, tell him to stop. He’s really really smart.

The popcorn is in the cabinet with the seasonings.

Sapnap smokes. Don’t let him know that you know.

Ranboo comes over sometimes, let him have your usual chair. He likes to listen, do not try to pull him into the conversation.

Sapnap’s kale salad is really bad, don’t eat it.

THINGS NOT TO MENTION OR SAY:

Do not call Quackity sweetcheeks. Do not comment on his appearance, especially his ass. Do not yell. Do not drink, or talk about drinking. Do not bring up Schlatt. Do not try to quiet him when he’s excited about something. Do not talk about hearts, or cannibalism, or raw meat.

Don’t say “Come here” to Sapnap. Do not talk about Dream. Do not try to corner him. Do not go near ravines. Do not sing that stupid doo doo doo song that Dream listens to. Do not say “Oh come on” or try and get him to do things he doesn’t want to.

DO NOT LET THEM FIND OUT ABOUT YOUR MEMORY.

DO NOT LET THEM FIND THIS JOURNAL.

Other people: Callahan is the man with antlers. Alyssa is the girl with brown hair. Punz is the one with long white hair and white sweatshirt, their little brother Purpled wears a purple hoodie. Eret is the tall man in the crown with the blank eyes. Ponk is the short South African man with the black sweatshirt. Bad is the demon with the vines growing out of his skin. Ant is the cat. Sam is the green one, with the deep voice and solid black eyes. Vikk and Lazar don’t show up much, but Vikk is the British one, Lazar is the Australian. Connor is the one in the blue hoodie. Techno is the pig (DO NOT TALK TO HIM HE DOESN’T LIKE YOU). Phil is his coworker, the one with the green robes. Tubbo is the thin boy with all the scars. Jack is the one with the missing arm and broken glasses. Foolish is the Totem, he likes you. Charlie is the one with glasses and bad puns. George is the one with white rimmed sunglasses who hangs out with Sapnap a lot. Puffy is the short man with curly hair. Hannah is the one with flowers that grow out of her skin. Ranboo is the half enderman in the suit. Skeppy is the ruby. Niki is the girl with pink hair. Fundy is the fox. HBomb is the one in the flannel, he’s nice. Ghostbur is the ghost. Tommy is dead, do not talk about him.

If Callahan is staring at you, wave and smile. I don’t think he knows. Does he?

For the love of god, do not talk to Corpse. He is really observant, he will notice if you fuck up. IF he corners you, keep a straight face, excuse yourself. DON’T CALL HIM CATBOY. Calling him Crops is okay, he’ll think it’s a dumb nickname.

Fundy doesn’t like it when you bring up the grey in his hair. He’s 18, I don’t know where it came from, but it’s there.

Punz uses they/them, Eret uses all, Ranboo uses he/they/it, Puffy uses she/her

Ranboo is not Charles, or John, or the Butler. Do not make that mistake again. He has paranoia, it will send him into a spiral.

Foolish gets really excited about building. Let him talk. He doesn’t get the chance otherwise.

George is narcoleptic, Quackity makes jokes about it.

Ghostbur and Ranboo also have memory issues, do not bring that up, they will be suspicious. No, Ranboo will be suspicious, I don’t think Ghostbur will remember.

If Punz flirts with you, they’re probably trying to get under Sapnap’s skin. Flirt back if you want, but not too much. Sapnap gets jealous easily, do not be an asshole. Punz doesn’t actually like you romantically, and you obviously don’t actually like them.

If Purpled asks to borrow your stuff, say no, he’s not going to give it back.

Ponk sings sometimes, out of nowhere. Let him. Sing along, maybe, if you can.

Quackity flirts with Bad a lot.

Sapnap flirts with George a lot.

Quackity has wings, he might need help with preening. Just gently run your fingers through the feathers, try to get out any sort of debri or anything.

If your chest starts hurting, stretch your arms up, and out. You are either having a panic attack or you’ve been hunched over for too long.

If you see Puffy rubbing her chest, she needs to take off her binder. Remind her to do that, she will not remember otherwise.

If Tubbo makes you another bracelet, put it on the right, the left arm is for Foolish’ bracelets.

Keep your mind clear, and calm. Smile often, and laugh at Q’s jokes, even if they’re not funny. Try to act normal.

The timeline depends on it.

-KJ

[homestucksongcomics]

Masterpost of Song Comics Part I (A-K)

*Unfortunately, due to a peculiarity of tumblr, a post containing too many links will not have any of them function. Thus, the masterpost has been broken into two parts.*

Organized by musician alphabetically

Last updated on 07/18/2021

See Part II here: Masterpost of Homestuck Song Comics Part II (L-Z)

#:

Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down by absinthianlyunheroic

This is War - 30 Seconds to Mars by caffieneandcarpaltunnel

I’m Not Your Boyfriend Baby - 3HO!3 by awildcale

A:

Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy by irlmako

New Tomorrow - A Friend In London by maria-artz

Hand Over Mouth, Over and Over - A Lot Like Birds by binart

Skyfall - Adele by stormfather

Song of Healing - Adriana Figueroa by talkshitnojutsu

Everything Stays - Adventure Time by starchip-one

Kiss my Eyes and Lay Me to Sleep - AFI by 413art

Prelude 12/21 - AFI by toastyhat

Another Day - Air by chubsintubs

A Whole New World - Aladdin by copper-fish

Mercy Me - Alkaline Trio by brainbent

Hothouse - Aly & AJ by dristr

Evelyn, Evelyn - Amanda Palmer by p-pamda

Luck - The American Authors by timehwimeh

21 Guns - American Idiot Cast by jankyweeaboo

Pittsburgh - The Amity Affliction by anafigreen

Inevitable - Anberlin by suchirolle

Ready to Die - Andrew W. K. by askherroyalcondesce

The Age of Not Believing - Angela Lansbury by toastyhat

Director - The Antlers by gin-and-djinn

Kettering - The Antlers by cloudymew

My Mamma Said - Aqua by xamag-homestuck

Suburbs - Arcade Fire by porrim-maryam and collaborators

Wake Up - Arcade Fire by catprinx

We Used to Wait - Arcade Fire by drawingspecibus

R U Mine? - Arctic Monkeys by dacadaca

The Ballad Of Love And Hate - The Avett Brothers by umjulikins

Hey Brother - Avicii by esmeblaise

Wake Me Up - Avicii by a-vodka-mutini

Sail - AWOLNATION by theamazingzombiegirl

B:

If I Die Young - The Band Perry by japhers

Memory - Barbra Strisand by toastyhat

Glitter and Gold - Barns Courtney by chibigaia-art

Daniel in the Den - Bastille by tomato-bird

Pompeii - Bastille by maria-artz Broken

Pompeii - Bastille by toastyhat and oskarna

Above the Clouds of Pompeii - Bear’s Den by groveofsketches

Let it Be - Beatles by toastyhat

The Fool on the Hill - The Beatles by robotoucan

All the Pretty Little Horses - Becky Jean Williams by purplecalamity

Pieces of Sky - Beth Orton by awildcale

Sweet Dreams - Beyoncé by dacadaca

River Below - Billy Talent by kamdensl

Rusted from the Rain - Billy Talent by crispychocolate

Just a Game - Birdy by redwordsoncavewalls

Kill the Lights - The Birthday Massacre by xamag-homestuck

Red Stars - The Birthday Massacre by lord-caliborn and tricotee

These Days - The Black Keys by digitallyimpaired

In the End - Black Veil Brides by rinasart

Let it Be - Blackmill (feat. Veela) by awildcale

Bad Sun - The Bravery by crashtest-therapist

Dear Agony - Breaking Benjamin by yukishii-chan

Diary of Jane - Breaking Benjamin by nevernoahh

Give Me a Sign - Breaking Benjamin by perceptur

I Will Not Bow - Breaking Benjamin by themockingcrows

First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes by usatoria

Can you feel my heart? - Bring me the horizon by domingoos and Yumegurren

Seeds - Brooke Fraser by anno-bannano Broken

Kodaline - Brother by zzpopzz

When I Was Your Man - Bruno Mars by babynarwalshineyeyes

P.O.W. - Bullet for My Valentine by anafigreen

C:

Angel with a Shotgun - The Cab by dawngyocry

How Are You - Cage the Elephant by facetiousfanatic Part 1

How Are You - Cage the Elephant by facetiousfanatic Part 2

How Are You - Cage the Elephant by facetiousfanatic Part 3

The loneliest Girl - Carol and Tuesday by cassandraooc

Morning Has Broken - Cat Stevens by thlange

Star Spangled Banner - Chase Holfelder by chillybuns

Between the Bars - Chris Garneau by roselalondee

Dirty Night Clown - Chris Garneau by idontevenknow-anymore

Dirty Night Clown - Chris Garneau by immabananana

Enter the Circus - Christina Aguilera by askinsanegamzee Broken

A Thousand Years - Christina Perii by angstyelf

A Thousand Years - Christina Perii by mari-victal

Burning Gold - Christina Perri by raspberrylemonhead

Fall - Cider Sky by nevernoahh

Falling (Demo) - The Civil Wars by zomdi

Safe and Sound - The Civil Wars by karaokekarkat

Hum - Clara C by nymphicus

3 Foot Tall - Classifed by kyrah-art

Summer Day - Coconut Records by kathysbrotherssister

Fondu au Noir - Coeur de Pirate by derperistical

Fix You - Coldplay by absinthianlyunheroic

Paradise - Coldplay by Moonpaw

The Scientist - Coldplay by ikimaru

Up with the Birds - Coldplay by the-rag-tag-earl

Viva la Vida - Coldplay by raspberrylemonhead

Viva La Vida - Coldplay by rozeart

Yellow - Coldplay by mariedisgrace

Young Volcanos - Coldplay by kawo-shin

Princess of China - Coldplay (feat. Rihanna) by sora-la

Chin Up - Copeland by vriskamidfangserket

Accidentally in Love - Counting Crows by hopelesslyblithe Broken

Crywank are posers - Crywank by p-666t

D:

Thrice - Daedalus by foramen-magnum

Something About Us - Daft Punk by moxel

Something About Us - Daft Punk by yazzdonut

Emotion - Daft Punk (MissingNo remix) by doomzy

The Spine - Darren Korb (Transistor) by rose-ebottles Broken

Youth - Daughter by zelpixel

Raise Your Weapon - Deadmau5 by marintan

Go Get Your Gun - The Dear Hunter by mcsiggy

Whisper - The Dear Hunter by prospt and collaborators

I Will Follow You Into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie by davsturdur

I Will Follow You into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie by inusushi

I Will Follow You Into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie by kawaiifarts

Bottom of the River - Delta Rae by wwhatevven

Perfect Insanity - Disturbed by vasheren

Just Be Friends (Instrumental) - Dixie Flatline by cheese3d Inspired by Litlte Red Riding Hood

Pity Dance - Dn Stith by jazzango

Venus Hum - Do You Want to Fight Me by shubbabang

Everything You Ever - Doctor Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog by thesassylorax

My Eyes - Doctor Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog by equiu5

Close Every Door - Donny Osmond by allegro-designs

Baby Mine - Dumbo by gayrupunzel

E:

I See Fire - Ed Sheeran by arachnerdsgri

I See Fire - Ed Sheeran by themockingcrows

Small Bump - Ed Sheeran by janecrockeyre

Cosmic Castaway - Electrasy by themockingcrows

Telephone Line - Electric Light Orchestra by daily-beta

You are my Sunshine - Elizabeth Mitchell by the-rag-tag-earl

Goodnight Sweet Ladies - Emilie Autumn by amporasexual

Asleep - Emily Browning (originally by The Smiths) by joker-ace

O Come O Come Emmanuel - Enya by pseudocon

One for the Money - Escape the Fate by ikimaru

Follow the Sun - Evermore by ladygrit

Fever Dreamless - fadeintocase by peregr1ne

F:

Centuries - Fall Out Boy by sixofclovers

Immortals - Fall Out Boy by etcterrayellowmoon

Immortals - Fall Out Boy by mari-victal

Immortals - Fall Out Boy by quiversarrow

My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up) - Fall Out Boy by toastyhat

The Kids Aren’t All Right - Fall Out Boy by i-am-a-riceball

The Kids Aren’t All Right - Fall Out Boy by scarlettheknight

The Last of the Real Ones - Fall Out Boy by dopingues

The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy by orangelemonart

Caught Like a Fly - Falling in Reverse by viria

Tragic Magic - Falling in Reverse by elasticitymudflap

Heavy Storm - First Aid Kit by moxel

Wolf - First Aid Kit by spooneaterarts

100 years - Five for Fighting by orangelemonart

Superman - Five for Fighting by grimbarke

Hurt Feelings - Flight of the Conchords by koroke

Rise - Flobots by lyricstuckbeatdown

Blinding - Florence + the Machine by collaborative

Cosmic Love - Florence + the Machine by rosemaryserver

Cosmic Love - Florence + the Machine by starkthirdeye

Cosmic Love - Florence + the Machine by toastyhat

Dog Days Are Over - Florence + the Machine by greatbiglyricstuck

Dog Days are Over - Florence + the Machine by m0thboy

Girl With One Eye - Florence + the Machine by kingdomzombified

Kiss With a Fist - Florence + the Machine by miraculoustang

No Light, No Light - Florence + the Machine by dacadaca

No Light, No Light - Florence + the Machine by nappotuna

Only If for a Night - Florence + the Machine by glueball

Seven Devils - Florence + the Machine by fangirlinginleatherboots

Seven Devils - Florence + the Machine by themockingcrows

Shake it Out - Florence + the Machine by cod-tier

Tear out my Tongue - Florence + the Machine by wheresmyhamlet

What the Water Gave Me - Florence + the Machine by colonoscolypseart

With an Axe - Foxy Shazam by oldshiel

Something Stupid - Frank and Nancy Sinatra by toastyhat

Some Nights - Fun. by greatbiglyricstuck

G:

Mad World - Gary Jules by ahabsiconoclast

Mad World - Gary Jules by prospitheir and aze

Mad World - Gary Jules by synnesai

Where Everybody Knows Your Name - Gary Portnoy by calliotp

Child of Light - The Getaway Plan by dingohugs

It All Dies Anyway - The Gits by skittykitty55

Take Me Away - Globus by toastyhat and splickedylit

You’re the One That I Want - Grease by doodlebonez

Top of the World - Greek Fire by eggsand-santoast

Song of the Century - Green Day by babakinkin

Song of the Century - Green Day by delinked

Song of the century - Green Day by the-rogue-0f-light

Boats and Birds - Gregory and the Hawk by striderprovider

Hard Knocks - Griffinilla and Alex Cole by colouredteapot

H:

Colors - Hasley by innocuoussketches

Anything - Hedley by valeriannnn

The Unquiet Grave - Hellen McCrocry by madreamcanular

Coming Back Down - Hollywood Undead by flynnagan

Coming Back Down - Hollywood Undead by skittykitty55

Levitate - Hollywood Undead by anafigreen

SCAVA - Hollywood Undead by scarlettheknight

Temporal Shenanigans - Homestuck ost - Rachel Macwhirter by arachnerdsgrip:

Almost (Sweet Music) - Hozier by metaname

Take Me To Church - Hozier by sailerscrimshaw Broken

God Help the Outcasts - Hunchback of Notre Dame by velocitiestrumpet

The Court of Miracles - Hunchback of Notre Dame by moc-tod-ffuts-modnar

That’s Okay - The Hush Sound by porcupet

Where We Went Wrong - The Hush Sound by canni8al

Wine Red - The Hush Sound by zeborah

I:

Volatile Times - IAMX by xamag-homestuck

Bad Karma - Ida Maria by margarethours

Amsterdam - Imagine Dragons by paperseverywhere

Bleeding Out - Imagine Dragons by rapidopatter

Demons - Imagine Dragons by muraokami Broken

Demons - Imagine Dragons by rapidopatter

Fallen - Imagine Dragons by maria-artz Broken

I'm So Sorry - Imagine Dragons by abbiwhozit

I'm So Sorry - Imagine Dragons by catkindness Part 1

I'm So Sorry - Imagine Dragons by catkindness Part 2

Nothing Left to Say - Imagine Dragons by paperseverywhere

On Top of the World - Imagine Dragons by lickfoot

Radioactive - Imagine Dragons by falloutboyonboy

Radioactive - Imagine Dragons by rachelhungry

Thief - Imagine Dragons by mikimosh

Warriors - Imagine Dragons by turretsyndr0me

Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap by kingdomzelaybli

The Devil’s Carnival - In all My Dreams I Drown by artblogofminji

Don’t Stop - InnerPartySystem by spocktalia Broken

What We Will Never Know - InnerPartySystem by lets-lyricstuck

Cinders and Smoke - Iron & Wine by laughingandgrief

Walk the Moon - Iscariot by cissaisthisyou

The Weekend - Islands by daily-beta

J:

R.I.P. Everyone - J.J. Demon by trickstercarlos

Fallin’ - Jake Bugg by awildcale

I Won’t Give Up - Jason Mraz by impudentkid

I’ll Be Good - Jaymes Young by asexualls Broken

Sufferer’s Final Sermon - jbriner by sketchloft

Be Thou My Vision - jbriner (originally a hymn) by mrdespondency

O Death - Jen Titus by canni8al

Oh Death - Jen Titus by artweaver5

If the World Should End - Jennifer Damiano by atrueenglishman

The Hanging Tree - Jennifer Lawrence by sixofclovers

Highwayman - Johnny Cash by toastyhat

What A Wonderful World - Joseph William Morgan ft. Shadow Royale by jayspants

The Stars - Jukebox the Ghost by innocuoussketches

K:

Die Young - Ke$ha by gelasticat

[S] Ke$ha: Enter - Ke$ha (Die Young Remix by captaincrapster) by ket3

Because of You - Kelly Clarkson by timehost

Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson by karaokeoctoberkat

Britland City Theme - Kenashcorp by stormfather

Animals - Kids in Glass Houses by faun-songs

Dustland Fairytale - The Killers by spiritleaf

Mr. Brightside - The Killers by mlle-annette

Sam´s Town - The Killers by gei-may

Smile Like You Mean It - The Killers by toastyhat

I Will Never Forget - Kimya Dawson by moxel

All I Want - Kodaline by godtier8itch

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

I have now rewatched half of season 3 of Violetta and here is a summary of my thoughts:

I do find it interesting to see the parallell between how Priscila treats Ludmila and how she treats Violetta. When Priscila’s real self slips out around Violetta, she immediately tries to apologise. Violetta however, sees through this rather quickly. I find it interesting to see the difference between a child growing up with a loving parent and one with a manipulative one

Also, GERMÁN SEEING SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH LUDMILA 😭 AND CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HER 😭 IT’S SO SWEET SHE REALLY DESERVES A FATHER LIKE THAT

I know everyone says Diecesca is their otp couple or smth but ????? I’m sorry! Listen, they are a lovely couple! They are cute! But... I also feel like Diego put a lot of pressure on Fran

She was VERY clear she did not want to hide the relationship and he was like ”We have to hide it” and then suddenly says ”Ok we have to tell it’s not easy for me either” and then GOES BACK to telling her ”We can’t tell”.

He also told her multiple times they could just break up if she didn’t like lying?? Which is????? What

But Fran also did the same sometimes. It was like, when one of them didn’t want to lie the other one wanted it, and vice versa.

I have the same opinion on Roxy and Fausta as I did when I was a kid: I like the idea of them dressing up and acting crazy and I like the idea of them having secret identities. I do however, not like the spying on Leon plot. I’m sorry, but it’s kind of ooc for Violetta to do that. She has broken up with Leon before, dear god girl JUST GIVE HIM SOME SPACE AND I PROMISE YOU HE’S GONNA RETURN

BECAUSE OTHERWISE HE WILL BE SO CONFUSED HE WILL CHOOSE YOUR ALTER EGO OVER YOU

The Leonetta scenes in the wedding ep was cute

Priscila and Germán did not waste a single minute, they REALLY had a fastburn romance

This happens in every season but PEOPLE DO NOT KNOCK ON VILU’S BEDROOM DOOR, THEY JUST BURST IN?!

Same with lies. People really try to tell the truth but something ALWAYS happens

But unlike when Angie waited like 70 episodes to tell Vilu she was her aunt, I actually feel bad for Fran. Maybe because she, again, was very clear on not wanting to lie

I have concluded that Naty is, most definitely, in love with Ludmila. It has always been clear but this girl tried to kiss her

Also I kind of ship Cami and Naty now thanks why do I ship the crackships more than the canon ones

I find it hilarious that Leon compares Violetta and Roxy to how Vilu felt about him and Tomas. Because, actually, that’s kind of accurate?? (No hate on Tomletta shippers but when I rewatched season 1 I got the feeling that Vilu always picked Leon first and then when they were on bad terms she drifted towards Tomas. Much like how she drifted towards Diego in season 2)

Everyone has lost a braincell this season except Jade, who somehow has gained one

I was always confused if Federico still lived in their house this season or lived somewhere else, and I have realised he still lives with them, and it’s kind of awkward because HE NOW HAS TO SHARE A HOUSE WITH HIS ON AND OFF GIRLFRIEND

I also wondered the reason why the main students had another kind of scheduele, and then I got my answer very early on: They have another scheduele and is kind of the special class

Ok - Gery is NOT as annoying as I found her as a kid. She was just fine before she started hanging out in Leon’s garage

I do however love how Violetta and Leon friendzone Clement and Gery all the time

I actually think Gery and Clement take just the right amount of screentime. Unlike Jade and Matias, who I feel just take up time we can spend on others, Gery and Clement have, at least right now, just about the right amount of screentime.

THE SEASON 3 SONGS SLAPS. I KNEW THEY SLAPPED BUT THEY REALLY SLAP

The ”Violetta not seeing Francesca and Diego kiss in the background” is my new favorite meme, and it’s EVEN FUNNIER in motion

Look, I recorded it:

(Swedish dubbed)

I love Camila, knowing everyone’s secrets, having no secret herself, and just vibing with everything

Angie is BACK <3 AND I realise more and more how she should’ve ended up with Pablo. She literally admitted she came back from France just because Pablo was sad

The Alex plot is a bit weird. It’s Violetta in season 1 but taken to the next level. It’s just another uneccessary lie. He is still the exact same person even if he’s named Alex or Clement, so just be Clement and hide evidence from your dad’s stalker driver for godness sake.

Antonio 😭

I don’t care much about the Ramallo/Olga/Beto plot but they are cute

I also skip Jade’s scenes, I do not care. But I do like that she is getting better

DID FRAN EVER FIND THE DIARY VILU GAVE TO HER

Yeah and that’s all I got this far

[letterboxd]

Beautiful Day: The Don Hertzfeldt Q&A.

In which the singular creator of It’s Such a Beautiful Day and the World of Tomorrow trilogy answers 57 questions put to him by the Letterboxd community, about death, gills, snacks, back flips, the best time of day to watch a movie, and the sick pleasure of emotionally destroying people.

Since his first animated outings in the 1990s, filmmaker Don Hertzfeldt has had a way of staring deeply into humanity’s soul via a humble stick figure, and his skill at blending existential questions with situational humor breeds intense reactions. To browse Letterboxd reviews of Hertzfeldt’s animated works is to meet film lovers at a rare, collective gathering point: heaping great piles of love for films that do “the exact opposite of helping with depression”.

There’s something optimistically anti-feel-good in Hertzfeldt’s works; a bleak view of the future, and a frank appreciation of death’s inevitability, that makes viewers urgently want to fix the way they’re living right now. “I’ve built a lot of my life philosophy on the messages of this film,” writes Misty, of his acclaimed It’s Such a Beautiful Day. “It has kicked my ass completely,” writes Dirk of the first, Oscar-nominated World of Tomorrow instalment, “making me angry at myself for letting trivial stuff take over things I love and making me happy I have so very, very much in my life to enjoy and be grateful for.”

The filmmaker’s magic lies as much in the process as the content: “Hertzfeldt is able to make every moment count,” writes Artpig, of the second WoT instalment, The Burden of Other People’s Thoughts, “every line of dialogue, every moment of silence, every note of music, every line of animation.” The World of Tomorrow films, says animation expert Toussaint Egan in our Letterboxd Show animation episode, are “some of the best science fiction films, period”.

And his timing. Oh, his timing. Just as the northern hemisphere days were turning cold, and the drawn-out misery of the pandemic was really taking hold all over again, Hertzfeldt tweeted:

WORLD OF TOMORROW EPISODE THREE everywhere october 9 5pm est 🚀

— don hertzfeldt (@donhertzfeldt)

October 8, 2020

And like that, World of Tomorrow Three: The Absent Destinations of David Prime was ours, an overnight gift to the quarantined and bereaved-weary, on Vimeo for all to rent or own. The gifts, they keep coming: a master list of movies that have their fingerprints on the World of Tomorrow universe, and now, in recognition of our community’s love for his films—and in his signature lower-case—the answers to questions asked in an exclusive Letterboxd Q&A.

To make things easier for Don, we grouped similar questions (and have noted which members asked what). Read on for more than you ever thought you might get to know about Hertzfeldt’s process, brain, heart and influences.

Filmmaker Don Hertzfeldt.

From “holograms that yell at you!” to the stunning colors, textures and folds of the blue mountains, to attributes David progressively deletes to make room for memories, would you please give us an insight into World of Tomorrow Three’s world-building process? —Letterboxd in the grand scheme of the series, episodes one and two still felt like baby steps to me. episode three was my first chance to really start blowing things up and exploring this universe. when i’m writing, i don’t want to worry about going over the top or think about structure or meaning or really much of anything yet. writing is playtime, it should be fun and messy. i want to go over the top. there is no top. i don’t want to start thinking too much until i’m rewriting and sorting through it all. thinking too much too soon can get in the way, like being too aware of when you’re trying to fall asleep. when you write a diary entry or a text to a friend, there’s no self-consciousness or creative blocks, you just write. it’s casual and fluid and automatic. but if you’re asked to write a term paper or a screenplay, suddenly all those lights turn off. it can be paralyzing. it’s hard to get to that place of truly not caring what anyone thinks and approach all forms of writing just as freely as writing those immediate thoughts in your diary. but that’s what i try to do.

When you start writing a new piece, do you usually start with a plot idea, a thematic idea, one uniform philosophical notion, or a little bit of each? —Kodiak J. Sanders, Trenz, Mr. Tables i don’t think i ever write in a straight line. i’ll jot down a hundred stray ideas over time, and one day i’ll sit down and see what connections might be made out of them. i really want this scene to be in the movie, so how do i get there? this is a good line, how can i get a character to say it? so the actual story usually only starts to reveal itself when i sit down to logic all these bits and pieces out. hey, in order to connect this strange idea to that strange idea, suddenly there is a very interesting third scene.

I’m astounded by how much the animation and the visuals improve with each instalment of World of Tomorrow. What have you done differently for each one? —Aske Lund, Cringetacular the characters needed to physically perform a lot more in episodes two and three so there were more demands put on the animation. when emily 4 dances or david staggers up a mountain, those sorts of scenes were animated in “ones”, which means doing 24 drawings per second versus my usual twelve. it’s still all 2D hand animation, just more of a classic disney approach that gives the movement a smoother look and a little more room for nuance. and obviously it takes a lot more work. but i hesitate to call such things improvements because i’m not sure i like the idea of different techniques being thought of as good or bad. it’s just another way of doing things. it really depends, sometimes super limited animation can be more effective.

Likewise, Part Three’s sound design is incredible. What conditions did you create it in, and what are all those sounds, and how do you have such an incredible command of the cut-to-silence trick?! —Letterboxd thanks, the sound design is always my favorite thing to do. other than julia’s lines, it’s easy to forget that all the animation starts with dead silence. obviously there’s no sound coming from a live-action set. so adding sound and music to everything, usually pretty late in production, is when all the stuff i’ve been working on suddenly starts to feel like an actual movie. this is not a future that works very well—particularly david’s, which predates everything else we’ve seen so far by a century or two—so you’re hearing a lot of creaky old hard drives booting up, electric distortions, and bent circuits from broken toys.

Emily and Emily Prime in a still from ‘World of Tomorrow’ (2015).

World of Tomorrow used to fill me with existential dread, but now with the current state of the world it’s become more and more comforting in a strange way. Do you feel that at all as you make new episodes? —mariano gg i wish that were possible but when i’m making something i’m usually so close to it i’m unable to see anything but all the things i need to fix.

Can you talk a little bit about sourcing the photo-realistic images for the backgrounds in Part Three? —Jack Moulton most of the environments were 2D images i built in photoshop, usually starting from close-up photos of different textures (like sandstone), all sort of reshaped and puzzle-pieced into something new. an easy to see example was david’s cockpit, which was cobbled together from all sorts of different old aircraft engine and machine parts. the trick in building and lighting these locations was always figuring out where the line was drawn in making these places realistic, but not too realistic for minimal characters to inhabit. i kept landing on a sort of painterly looking middle ground.

If the cloning process in World of Tomorrow existed right now, would you go through that process and create clones of yourself to prolong your life? —tim probably not, that process doesn’t seem to work so well.

If you were put into the world you’ve created, would you buy gills? —Lauren Torres i tend to avoid putting my head under because i almost always get water in my ears so i guess i wouldn’t need them. gills also seem like they’d be a real nuisance to keep clean.

What does love mean, and why do your characters go through so much effort to find it? —Andrew Michalko oh man.

In this year of years, what do you hope people will understand about death and its inevitability (or is it all there on the screen, and if so, that’s okay too)? —Letterboxd understanding death and its inevitability is maybe the most valuable thing a person can do for themselves.

Was the absence of Emily Prime in Part Three a practical decision [Don’s then-four-year-old niece Winona provided Emily’s voice] or an intentional departure from the first two films? —Michael it was both. i couldn’t find a way to fit her in naturally and i also felt like the series needed to start growing in other directions and not rest on the past. episode two had also been really difficult to write, it was so reliant on winona’s recordings, and it felt like the dam was really broken when i was finally able to write without any restrictions this time.

In a series like World of Tomorrow, where you headed in a direction that is a lot more plot-driven than your previous work, how far in advance do you plan? Did you always know this was in David’s past, or are these stories told one at a time? —Ryan Welch, Kodiak J. Sanders, julius, Alex Leon i could tell early on that this wasn’t a story like it’s such a beautiful day with a clear beginning, middle and end, but a much wilder thing that could continue to grow. the openness of it is still what makes it so interesting to me. i have all sorts of notes for the next episodes but if i already knew what would happen in episode nine i think that would take a lot of the air out of the tires and i’d start to feel like i was just connecting the boring dots. while writing, i’ve also had to be aware that there someday might be an episode nine so i can’t go wrecking the timelines before i get there.

What were the rocks and the gas pump that Emily fell in love with meant to represent? —Ekaneff she was learning how to love, and like all of us, in her youth she gravitated to a bunch of individuals that were wrong for her.

Aside from the ability to release more frequently, is there something about the episodic structure that you prefer/appreciate, as opposed to creating one larger feature-length film? —SiddFinch1 there’s just more freedom. the traditional running time of a feature film, 90 to 120 minutes, is a totally arbitrary number.

Have you ever considered writing a World of Tomorrow book or graphic novel? —Jay Smith the earliest ideas for world of tomorrow were sloshing around in a graphic novel called the end of the world that came out in 2013. but i don’t have any talent or much confidence in making another book like that. it’s a different world. when i look at someone like chris ware and then look at something like the end of the world, it’s like, “wow, baby made a mess”.

A page from Don Hertzfeldt’s graphic novel, ‘The End of the World’ (2013).

What attracted you to the unique style [of minimalist stick figures]? Is there a sense of intimacy that you feel you can achieve with this simplicity? —Evan Whitford when i was little, before i wanted to make movies i wanted to be a newspaper cartoonist. i think my drawings today might have more in common with newspaper comics than the sort of characters you usually see in animation. comic-strip panels were always composed in a very reserved way because they were generally intended to be skimmed. you needed to be able to read the strip in five seconds so you could be off to read the sports pages and obituaries. the comics pages were also under constant size and space restrictions. so they were minimal by design and the artists reduced their characters to only their most essential parts. there was no room for fussing. charles schulz said “i only draw what’s necessary”. and that’s actually incredibly hard to do. you’re accomplishing so much more with so much less.

i’ve also found that if there’s a scene that’s not playing right and bothering me, most of the time it’s because my composition was too cluttered. i almost always find myself removing things from the frame and trying to pare it down to only what’s necessary. very rarely do i ever think ‘i need to add more stuff in here’. because this shot is only five seconds long and i want you to be looking over here when this moment happens and this character says something, and if you’re distracted by this other flickering junk i put in the corner it’s going to throw everything off.

Animation-aside, which creative medium do you resonate with the most? —Bronkdan music.

How much did you pull from real-life experiences to make It’s Such A Beautiful Day, if any? What research did you conduct into memory? —Gunnar Sizemore, David Sigura, Micah Smith whenever i got a little stuck writing it’s such a beautiful day, i’d go back and reread my journal and pull more things out of it. dreams, conversations, small scenes. reading the journal now, it seems like i stole something from it every few pages. i also heavily researched neurological problems. it’s never said in the movie what exactly’s going on with bill, but i needed there to be a real diagnosis to base the medical writing on. so all the things he’s going through are real treatments or symptoms based on an actual condition. i didn’t want to ever come out and say, “he’s got terminal brain clouds”, or whatever in the movie, because then it becomes a “brain-cloud movie”, and that’s too easy for the audience to compartmentalize and distance themselves from… “brain clouds are so rare, that will never happen to me”. but not being told exactly what’s wrong with bill might help make the story more relatable and universal.

In what ways have you kept your mind fresh creatively? How do you keep yourself from slipping into complacency? —Watchmoviez, Drew’s reviews most creative blocks or stagnation come from anxiety, second-guessing and doubt. over the years i’ve learned to just sort of calm down and trust myself more. it’s like the old aesop fable: when you stop thrashing around in the water, the water becomes clearer and you can see more. if a scene isn’t working right, i can more easily chill out about it these days and trust that i’ll eventually figure it out—because i’ve figured these sorts of things out a hundred times before and i know by now that i’m not the sort of person who’s just going to allow a scene that isn’t working to remain in the movie. there’s a little more panic about that sort of thing when you’re young: “oh no, the movie sucks right now, will it always suck?!” i’ve reached the point where i know that i will not let it suck. and that sort of thinking allows all the movie gears to turn more easily.

Do you have a specific thematic, emotional or other miscellaneous motive in mind when including classical music pieces? —James Y. Lee when i’m listening to music and suddenly the right piece arrives, it’s usually blindingly obvious to me: there’s just no doubt this needs to be in the movie somehow. it’s like the idea has always existed and i’ve just finally uncovered it. it’s the same with writing. when the right thing floats along, it is striking and obvious and into the pile of notes it goes.

How much of your animation style lends itself to experimentation, such as discovering new tricks and pretty shots, that is then discarded if you learn it doesn’t work as intended? —Adam, Jacob i think i’m always experimenting. i figure if it doesn’t work, at least i’ve learned something.

What is the strangest compliment or critique you’ve gotten personally or of your work? —Elliot Taylor i’ve always remembered this one. i am so proud of you came out a couple years after everything will be ok. it was a continuation of that story, so it was basically the first time i had ever made a sequel. and everything will be ok had done really well when it came out. it won sundance and got all these great reviews. so i am so proud of you comes out and i remember reading this review that says, “everything will be ok was probably my favorite animated short of all time. it honestly changed my life. it was funny, sad, beautiful and just so wonderful. everything will be ok, boy did i love it. incredible. two thumbs up. truly, best thing ever. wow. so, unfortunately, its sequel, i am so proud of you, just feels like more of the same.”

A still image from ‘It’s Such a Beautiful Day’ (2012).

Are there any pieces of fiction that have influenced your work that we probably wouldn’t think of? —Gyani Wasp, Mikolaj Perzyna, Aaron McMillan, Harrison, Axel, Cringetacular, The25centman, Hunter Guidry one thing that pops to mind is the phantom tollbooth. my favorite children’s books were the ones with all the fun metaphors and clever wordplay. when i was plotting out episode two i wanted to lean into that, where visiting different sections of emily’s brain would be like milo visiting the land of math, the land of letters, the land of sound, with different looks and logic to it. so we had the bog of realism, glimmers of hope, broken memories, the logic center, and all the stuff in triangle land and square land. i guess that’s a lot but i wish there had been a bit more.

How did your friends and family respond to the “my anus is bleeding” part of Rejected? —Alex Tatterson they were pretty used to me by then.

Do you know of the work of David Firth, the internet animator? His work is also surreal and has dark humor, but more sinister than whimsical. Would you ever consider making an animation in the realm of horror in future? —KEVIИ HДWKIИS i’m afraid i don’t know him. i’d love to make a horror movie. from a certain point of view though maybe it could be argued that most everything i’ve made is a sort of horror movie?

My first tattoo is of Billy from Billy’s Balloon hanging from his ankle and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. How do you feel about people having your work tattooed and do you have any ink from other creatives that have meant something to you? —Elias it really fucking enrages me when people get my stuff tattooed on them. no just kidding. mostly i feel embarrassed but i’m glad you haven’t changed your mind about it yet. sometimes i wonder how many people have.

Have you ever thought about directing live action? —Abeer, Noah Thompson yes.

Is there an update on your feature film Antarctica? —Rylan California it’s one of many things swirling around.

Will you do a remake of Robocop and why not next year? —Simon no, because robocop is already sort of perfect.

Do you ever see yourself directing a large studio film? Or working with a large team to make something with a higher budget, maybe through a crowd-funded project? Or do you just strongly prefer working on your own? —Vteyshev, Monotone Duck sure. i’ve never preferred working on my own at all. it was usually just the only way to ever get anything made. i haven’t had the funding to pay a big crew, or really much of a crew at all. there’s the old saying: you can make something good, you can make it fast, and you can make it cheap, but you can only pick two. if you make it good and fast it won’t be cheap, if you make it cheap and fast it won’t be good, etc. so my only route in hoping to make something good and cheap has been to totally forget about making it fast.

What did you find digital animation added or took away from your work, and what did those changes do for your storytelling? Will you continue using the digital medium when/if you decide to move on from the World of Tomorrow project? —Alec Lai, Slipkornbizkit, Aldo digital just sped everything up. it’s still one person drawing everything, so we need to remember that speed is relative here, but i felt like i went from riding a bicycle to driving a car. there are many pleasant, wonderful things about riding a bicycle but you’re not going to get anywhere very quickly. and i’m not in my 20s anymore, in fact my 20s and 30s were mostly entirely devoured by making movies in what was maybe the slowest way possible. so these days i am appreciating the speed of digital.

If you could have a conversation with any filmmaker, dead or alive, who would it be and why? —ToBeHonest, Cringetacular if i could resurrect one of my heroes from the dead i think i would feel terrible wasting his time forcing him to have a conversation with me. he might also just sit there, covered with graveyard dirt, screaming in horror.

What is the best time of day to watch a movie? —Sammy night. i always feel a little nuts coming out of a movie and the sun is still up.

What’s your all-time favorite science-fiction film, and why? —Letterboxd 2001. because come on.

What is your favorite of Julia Potts’ films, and why? —Letterboxd i like the one with the severed foot.

Are there any animated films that you felt had a profound impact on you as a child? —Sprizzle probably fantasia. and ray harryhausen stuff. whenever there was a sunday-afternoon movie on TV, my brother and i learned that if in the opening titles there was a credit for “special effects” we should keep watching because we might eventually see something cool.

Which one of your movies is your personal favorite? —Jakob Böwer, RodrigoJerez i don’t know. sometimes it’s the newest one because it’s usually the one with the most experience behind it and therefore feels like it has the fewest mistakes. but then over time i realize they’re all riddled with mistakes. of the it’s such a beautiful day pieces, i think my favorite has always been i am so proud of you. and then i’ll see reviews that say “clearly the second chapter is the weakest one”, and i’ll think, man you guys don’t know what you’re talking about.

One of Don’s layout sketches for ‘I Am So Proud of You’ (2008).

What’s your favorite Pixar film? —Jordan inside out.

What film would you want to be the last one you watch before you die? —Gavin honestly if i’m in the process of dying i hope i won’t be watching movies at all.

Do you have faith in humanity? —Connor Kriechbaum not often.

What is something that worries you about where humankind is headed? —Felix_Bouchard social media.

What is the most valuable thing you have ever lost? How often do you think about it? —Siminup well now i’m getting sad.

Can you do a back flip, mister Don? —Doug maybe with the help of a catapult.

What is your take on the after life? What do you think happens to us when we die? —Luisdecoss i guess that it’s probably a lot like our memory of what the year 1823 was like.

Do you want anything from McDonald’s? —Andrew Rhyne only if i’m in an airport and desperate.

What’s your favorite meal or snack? —Pfitzerone, Evan lately in quarantine i’ve been discovering this particular breakfast burrito.

How’s your quarantine life, Don? —Ivan Arcena it’s okay thanks. eating lots of breakfast burritos.

Hi! I can’t believe you’re going to read this. I am currently filled with an unparalleled amount of joy, wow. This is a long shot but here I go. I’m 17 and your (self-proclaimed) biggest fan. I’ve seen It's Such a Beautiful Day eight times now and every single time I pick up on more details. I’ve watched a few of your interviews and in the AFS one about Rejected you said that the louder you play a movie, the funnier it is. On my seventh watch of It’s Such a Beautiful Day I hooked my laptop up to three huge speakers and I must say—you were so, so right. I made a video essay about the movie. Lol, I’m not sure if this will get to you but Michael Jordan once said something about missing shots or not taking shots or maybe about tequila, I am unsure but I know it was important. Thanks MJ. Not you, Mr Jackson. I’m sorry Ms. Jackson…

I actually do have a question, sorry about the rambling. Every single time I watch the guy at the payphone flip his pencil and go “fantastic, fantastic” I cry. And I think what really does it for me is that “we’ll finally have our day”. Earlier in the movie, Bill’s co-worker talks about how all of time is happening at once. So what I constantly ask myself is if the guy at the payphone is simultaneously having his day and waiting for it. And I’m no longer speaking to that one specific example or even to the movie as a whole but I guess I’m wondering if the idea of all events happening at once comforts you?

In Slaughterhouse Five, Kurt Vonnegut writes: “The most important thing I learned on Tralfamadore was that when a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive in the past, so it is very silly for people to cry at his funeral. All moments past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist.” When I read this I immediately thought about your movie. I think the idea of all of time happening at once makes all of life feel less important but more special. You know? Anyway, I suppose I’d just like to know what inspired the lines about time in the office scene. This isn’t much of a question, more an incoherent ramble but thank you so, so much for all you’ve done. I feel so incredibly inspired and so deeply moved by your work and I know that so many people in this comment section and around the world would agree. I can’t believe I’ve been given the opportunity to ask something. It really is such a beautiful day. :) —Eli Osei (co-signed by Vooder) that old guy at the payphone was someone i saw at the laundromat once and he borrowed my pencil and the whole thing just played out like in the movie. i just thought it was such a perfect little scene that i’d just witnessed. anyway, the idea of time being a landscape and everything taking place “at once” just came straight out of a science magazine. i don’t know how, but apparently it’s been more or less proven to be true? we perceive time in one direction, but the past and the future are always all around us. think of it as though we’re driving our car through a landscape. even though the mountains we saw ten minutes ago are behind us now, it doesn’t mean those mountains have ceased to exist. they’ve only ceased to exist from our point of view. we’ve only just driven past them. the mountains, like your childhood, are still going on back there. anyway, i had never heard of that before and thought it needed to be in a movie.

A still from ‘World of Tomorrow Episode Two: The Burden of Other People’s Thoughts’ (2017).

Are you a fan of Kurt Vonnegut by any chance? It may be coincidental, but I love how you both utilize science-fiction settings and concepts like being “unstuck from time/memory” to explore the human condition. I feel his writing and your animation are both capable of making me laugh wholeheartedly one minute and weeping genuine, sorrowful tears the next. —Vooder i’m embarrassed to say i’ve never read him and i’m told on a regular basis that i should. that all started after i am so proud of you came out with those discussions about time being a landscape. but i almost only ever read non-fiction. it’s a long story. but now i’m almost afraid to ever read vonnegut after all these years of build-up.

Hey Don, this is really cool. I don’t have as much of a question, more of a comment. It’s Such A Beautiful Day has gotten me through a lot of hard times, being in middle school sucks, I think everyone knows that: and your movie has made life just a wee bit better for me. It also gave me the inspiration and motivation to finish my first feature! Thanks lots. Love from Indiana —Blood Mountain: Experimental Cinema <3 hey thank you. yeah middle school was pretty much the deepest pit of hell. there’s this old saying, “if you find yourself in hell, keep going”. and i’ve never understood that saying. “keep going”, because, i guess, you can always just go deeper into hell?

Hi! Has the vitreous humour in your eyes started to deteriorate and have you experienced floaters within your eyeballs? If not, that’s okay. Just remember it’s part of life, so don’t get scared when it happens! Just keep moving on! But if you do have them, follow-up question: Do you think it’s funny that the body of vitreous fluid that allows your sight to be clear is called the vitreous humour, and when it detaches it’s anything but humorous? I find that pretty humorous myself, in, like, an ironic way. —Clbert1 i actually blew a blood vessel in my eye a couple weeks ago and the whole thing turned bright blood red. it didn’t hurt or anything, i just walked into the room all disgusting and my girlfriend was like, “what the fuck?!” and then the next day i had further weird eye problems. i just went to the eye doctor yesterday. i think i will be fine but i was thinking, wouldn’t it be like the most heavy metal thing ever for my biography if i just suddenly went BLIND? “and then in 2020, HE WENT BLIND.”

Will Intro ever be released to the general public outside of theater screenings? —Melissa okay yes you’ve talked me into it. on that note, i noticed that the poster of intro used on letterboxd is a weird fake and i’m not sure where it came from. someone just used a picture from rejected. if fake posters are to be made i would prefer it if they used a picture from raiders of the lost ark or something.

Do you have plans to combine the World of Tomorrow shorts into one feature-length film à la It’s Such a Beautiful Day? —David Sigura, Sam Stewart, An_Person no, it’s going to be much longer than a feature-length.

Will we ever get a ‘Hertzfeldt 4K Collection’? Or at least a Blu-ray with It’s Such a Beautiful Day and all episodes of World of Tomorrow? —Teebin, HippityHoppity there is actually already a blu-ray for it’s such a beautiful day. up next we’ll do some sort of world of tomorrow blu-ray of the first three episodes. but 4k is too many k’s. you don’t need that many k’s.

Would you ever consider comprising an OST album of all the songs you used and mixed from your films? —PhiloDemon i don’t think so. i read that for many years cat stevens resisted releasing his original songs from harold and maude on any records because he thought they were more special if you could only ever hear them in the movie. i like that.

Do you get a sick kind of pleasure from emotionally destroying people with your movies? —MaxT26 yep.

What’s been your ongoing experience of the outpouring of joy and love of your work? —Henry gratitude. how sad for me if, after all this work, nobody was watching at all.

Related content

Don’s invaluable Twitter thread about “old-school animation camera stuff”

A Few of the Fingerprints on the World of Tomorrow Universe: a list of influences curated for Letterboxd by Don Hertzfeldt

Modest Heroes: the Letterboxd Showdown for indie animation

The Drawn Cinema: Analena’s list of rough animation, pencil textures, watercolor effects, dynamic brushes and other poetic artistry.

Beloved Indie Animation: a list by Gui

Animated Sci-Fi and Fantasy: an extensive list by Stonefolk

‘World of Tomorrow Three: The Absent Destinations of David Prime’ is available now through Bitter Films on Vimeo.

[youcantfiremebecauseiquit]

I think Courtney Love is as fake as Emilie Autumn. They both created alternate pasts and idealized identities for the images they want to project as famous people.

I just realized i wrote 2 pages or something of text. If you asked me in person i’d tell you maybe two sentences but when i have to write, i write too much. Sorry lol.

It’s your opinion and you have right to think so. But CL being comparable to Emilie Autumn? Dude. Alternate pasts? What pasts? Courtney Love didn’t create her past, she literally had fucked up past. And she didn’t lie about her family. She would sometimes exaggerate while saying her Hollywood/rock anecdotes but she didn’t lie about her past. I recommend buying „Dirty Blonde”. Idk, I think you simply don’t like her. Courtney Love had kinderwhore look for a few years and then switched to designer clothes, but she doesn’t undermine her previous looks and records (except for Pretty On The Inside, she doesn’t like it now). Courtney doesn’t create any fake alternate reality, she have recurring themes (like fallen women for example), but she does what she wants while Emilie milks the same old worn out thing for years. She writes about anything she wants to, from violence towards women and shady strip club situations, fallen women, eating disorders, post partum depression, riot grrrl poser movements and elitism to love, mourning, beauty/ugliness and finally being broken, in a constant falling-rising up-falling cycle (especially on later records). EA basically only writes about one subject for years. Courtney’s music may not be complicated and she might not have a perfect voice/looks/personality but she’s honest in her songs – girls and boys worldwide find themselves in her lyrics and experiences. You may not like her but that doesn’t mean her music is fake. I don’t think Emilie Autumn’s lyrics are fake either, it’s just that she’s narcissistic, mean and compulsively lying, rewriting her past every few years and only accepting endless praise – if you don’t like her, you’re her enemy. Courtney Love doesn’t care. She lets people think whatever they want to think.

As a Courtney Love fan knowing a lot about her i look at her a little different than people not liking her/not reading,listening to her. Courtney Love fans know well that sometimes you’ve got to take what Courtney says with a huge grain of salt, cause she likes to exaggerate stories to make them more interesting. (And Kurt Cobain did the very same thing. “Rock’n’roll stories” from his diaries. The whole “i was bullied cause i desperately tried to sleep with disabled girl in high school” story from Montage of Heck? That’s a madeup story he wrote in diary and later recorded on tape when he was bored. Somehow people don’t consider him “liar”.) Usually as a Courntey fan you learn to notice that border, and you can somehow “feel” where she exaggerates. Mostly i’d say when we notice those moments we all kind of get amused and laugh it off & continue to reading further. It’s not like we immediately get offended like “OMG she’s a liar i’m a fan no more”. The problem with EA is nobody believed she could ever lie, you would get hunted by fans if you dared to doubt her words. Her „history” was designed as something 100% true and real, but it turned out there’s more of fake than truth, yet she still continues to keep up her lies.

You can dislike Courtney’s nowadays lifestyle like red carpet designer dresses and all that glamour. But “creating a past and persona” or being a liar comparable to Emilie Autumn? How so? She doesn’t lie about her name - everybody knows her real name and she never pretended that Love is her birth surename. She adapted name Courtney Love in 80′s after her friend Pat Smear (from The Germs & later Nirvana) told her this would be a good artistic nickname for her. 

Courtney Love never lied about her parents or her youth. She had bad experiences with her family & certainly was raised poorly, but she didn’t try to rewrite her story or bury her parents in the “fire” (although she has good reasons to). Everybody knows about her therapist mother Linda Carrol & her father is Hank Harrison, previously manager of The Grateful Dead band. Courtney was even featured on the back cover on one of their records as a tiny child. Courtney wasn’t on good terms with mother and usually circled between her and other relatives. Her father is a complete piece of shit - he gave Courtney LSD when she was a toddler, which was why he lost a custody of her. He claims to know his daughter so well, even though he wasn’t raising her at all, and wrote a fucking book about how psychotic Courtney is, although he lost custody of her when she was a tiny toddler. And how Courtney killed Kurt. No, actually, he wrote A FUCKING BIOGRAPHY OF KURT, even though he never met him. Of course Kurt-was-murdered conspiracy fans consider him their beloved mascot because of that, asking for his opinion & believing anything he says.

Her family certainly weren’t as rich as EA’s, but they had some recognition and money. In the beginning of 80′s CL started getting some trust fund left by maternal grandparents, so she could afford going to other countries & make additional money stripping. 

Later she spent youth in different countries & boarding schools, later got arrested for shoplifting and spent time in correctional facility for teenage girls. In Dirty Blonde book she wrote about her experiences from that time, printed some papers from Hillcrest describing her behaviour. Idk, but Emilie Autumn took A HUGE inspiration from Courtney’s Dirty Blonde book. All the idea for including papers from hospital, all scrapbooking style was taken from Courtney. Even the fucking “red crayon” - guess what, Courtney’s book begins with a letter from facility written in red crayon, cause they don’t allow them to have pens.

The only thing i have doubts about are her universities. She said she studied English, philosophy & theology but I think it was only a few months/semesters. When you say someone studied this and that you immediately think the person finished studies, but in fact she was starting and dropping learning. But she never said she graduated or anything, so i think it is obvious she studied for one or two semesters or in weekends or something.

She always had an interest in rock music, although she prefered 80′s new wave and stuff like Fleetwood Mac and Echo and The Bunnymen, which she always admitted anyway. It’s not like she suddenly adapted rock music after it became profitable. She only learned how to play guitar in the very beginnings of Hole, so she probably only wanted to sing earlier. In the 80′s she spent time in Liverpool. She was hanging around with Echo and The Bunnymen band and apparently lived at Julian Cope’s house. It’s not made up, cause Cope was really jealous of her fame in 90′s. Plus i heard he wrote about her in his autobiography. Somebody wrote a book about Courtney’s time spent in Liverpool and London this year, but i don’t have it yet. But it’s not like she took all those stories from nowhere, she really spent time living with Echo & being a friend/roadie for other bands. I remember she also knew Joe Strummer, she was a friend or a roadie for The Clash. Later they also starred in Alex Cox’s movie. She was a young impressionable girl at the time, so she was learning from those bands. She had more goth/punk style at the time. 

People excuse her of leeching of whatever rockband she can & you can interpret it however you want, but seeing how she roadied with punk bands in her teens and how she liked to meet new rock bands after she got famous shows she liked to surround herself with people from rock circles. Men from rock bands hang around other men/women from other bands all the time but it’s always Courtney Love that gets shit for that.

You can doubt Courtney’s words on her inventing “kinderwhore” and starting that style trend. Although it was Courtney who coined that term. People usually yell that Courtney is unoriginal and that she stole the style from Kat Bjelland. And i say bullshit, it wasn’t even started by Kat. The girl from Divinyls did it before (CL admited she took it from her), Kim Shattuck of The Muffs did it before.

She said she liked cute dresses so much as an adult cause her mother always dressed her up rather manly– if you look at her childhood photos she indeed wasn’t looking like a „girly girl”, her mother was much into hippie culture. She got into that feminine look as she lost a lot of weight in the beginning of 90’s, so i guess that’s why she could pull off that babydoll look. Anyway here’s the interview where she explains the idea behind her style:

Courtney listened to different bands, she liked harsh noise like Big Black but she also liked Fleetwood Mac. She posted an advert she’s looking for people inspired by these particular bands, so it’s not like she was lying about her softer music side. I believe Pretty On The Inside was partly a “fuck you” to Kat Bjelland, partly she wanted to record the heaviest, most noisy record by a girl-fronted band. You could say she wasn’t honest cause she tried to impress people from that scene and be cool enough for them. Well, Courtney actually admitted later she wanted to prove her worth, impress people from that scene etc. That’s why the record is so noisy. But the lyrics aren’t fake. That kind of writing was consistent in her poems. She took those themes from her experiences, people she knew and situations she observed as a girl in a stripping business.

I don’t know how can anyone even judge if Live Through This era was fake or not, recording wise she competed with her husband and wanted a more polished record. But later in 1994 or 1995 she was a wreck, numbed with heroin after what happened. It’s really fucking hard to „fake a persona” when you’re a) mourning b) on heroin/oxy. What’s there to fake? Wearing skirts, missing Kurt or being on drugs? That’s fucking disrespectful to say that was „fake”.

Now a lot of people say she sucked after Celebrity Skin, but the truth is Celebrity Skin was probably her most real album/era soundwise. And I don’t even like this album that much. It was inspired by new wave/more poppy rock bands she loved and Courtney was actually satisfied with how it sounds. It was just a good time to her – she quit drugs, she had a successful album and tour, she was nominated for Golden Globe in 1996, she looked genuinely happy and glowing. People were mad cause she changed style – i think she changed style because of her acting career, to continue acting she probably wanted more polished look. But was it always that polished? She would hang out her tits onstage or dress as that „trash fairy” in 1999, so I’d say this glittery look was also partly ironic. And people saying she’s fake cause she chose acting career seem to forget she originally wanted to be an actress, she played in Sid and Nancy & Straight To Hell in 80’s.

People who say „oh she’s a fame whore” – well it’s not like she was ever hiding she likes/she always wanted fame. She wrote she likes fame because it’s challenging, because she gets off on it, etc.

I have mixed feelings about her designer clothes and red carpet looks and at times it seems fake to me too, cause red carpet is usually fake and embarrassing. It’s quite a contrast to her older punk & kinderwhore style. But people change with age anyway… Brody Dalle doesn’t look especially punk anymore, Kat Bjelland doesn’t wear dolly clothes. Emilie Autumn looks like a fucking christian grandma, sorry. Courtney Love likes designer clothes. *shrug*

However Courtney Love’s character and behaviour is consistent throughout the years, she talks the same as always. She doesn’t craft a new personality every few years like EA and she doesn;t erase her past like EA. She doesn’t milk her fans making overpriced shitty merch. It’s true it’s been a lot of years since she last released a CD, but she’s been releasing singles and touring A LOT during this decade, also engaging in fashion design and art. Emilie Autumn sits at home and makes stupid faces at her iPhone, produces more merch and doesn’t make/post music/play violin anymore.

The only thing I don’t like about her is how she can’t play guitar anymore. She used to know how to play guitar, you can watch any 1990-1995 show to see she knew how to play guitar. In CS era she would sing without guitar more, but she still could play. But after 2010 her abilities decreased a lot, someone leaked a sound of her live guitar and it turned out her playing became really… weak. She said after her cocaine use she lost ability to play and didn’t even know how to move her fingers, that she was learning playing all over again in rehab. Idk if something happened to her hands or if she’s just too lazy these days. It would improve if she just practiced everyday. Of course if you don’t practice you’ll get worse – i know it well cause i had a few years without playing guitar too. But it’s not like it’s impossible to improve. Other than that… yeah, i’m not really crazy about her designer clothes and event looks. I don’t like things like that. But she likes it, so why shouldn’t she go with that.

Courtney can be nice, can be mean, but she never flipped shit the same as Emilie Autumn. She likes fame but she knows where she fucks up while Emilie most of the time thinks she’s more famous than she is and is so full of herself. Courtney Love knows she’s not the greatest guitarist and singer, while Emilie thinks of herself as „virtuoso” and shades every other violinist in rock music (and violists), while in fact she is the epitome of „failed violinist”. She played music for easily impressionable fans who knew nothing about classical music, so it was easy for her to impress them with her fake violin playing with violin playback coming straight from the tape. It takes to be a high level of being a snowflake to claim you’re a virtuoso when in reality you never play live and if you do you play only scales, making beginner mistakes and being mediocre at most.  

Emilie Autumn always presented everything about herself to be true and personal, people believed her and literally praised her for that, feeling connection with her because they had bipolar disorder or stayed at psychiatric hospital, or lost family in a fire for real… And then it turned out all of Emilie Autumn’s life was a lie. She was hiding a real bitch under the guise of this cool „virtuoso” goth bipolar girl Emilie Autumn. Every year brought some new drama, she was less and less credible. She behaved awfully and treated her fandom like  shit repeatedly. I don’t know, i got interested in her at some point but i can’t stand her now & i don’t keep up with her stuff anymore (although i read on her latest blm drama), why bother yourself with someone who doesn’t respect anyone. You can dislike Courtney Love and i understand it, but I don’t see how she could be comparable to EA’s shit.

As for „idealized identities”… you realize that Courtney was on drugs most of her career? She would fuck up so much, getting ridiculed by the press and regular people. She would often embarrass herself unintentionally, she would often end up all smeared and tousled in a way that wasn’t planned as a „kinderwhore look for the evening”. Getting fat, getting horribly thin, sometimes looking nice but often looking what society perceives as ugly. People hated her and they still do. Her life was a mess at various points of her life and she was judged harshly… if that idealized version to you? People might preffer her kinderwhore days but when i look at it now, she had better days but some certain looks from early 90’s sometimes only highlighted how bad she felt at the time. Her most „ideal” version was 1996 and Celebrity Skin look, up to 2000 i’d say, she would wear nice clothes, brush her hair, add glitter, looking glam – as i said, she quit drugs in 1996 to be able to play in movies, i believe she wanted her life to change for the better, to try to be happier, to look nicer and cleaner and to set an example for her daughter. I think it’s awesome that she manager to get better, i wish i could change my life. Unfortunately in 2003 she went downhill again, this time it was in some days even worse cause she got into cocaine and something else, her album was a flop (interestingly, there was another, rockier version of American’s Sweetheart but Virgin Records told her to rerecord everything and put out worse songs), she would end up in court, she would lose the custody of Frances and had to go through drug tests and rehabs. She had ED i think, she gained a lot of weight at the time then went to stick thin. It was dragging on and you know how it went later, she was better and worse moments, still doing prescription drugs on and off, flopping with new version of Hole. I haven’t checked what she’s doing these days and kind of lost track but i think she’s so much better now and successful, she’s got fans wanting to see her live, she reunited with Hole members and she released a few solo singles that were actually fucking awesome (Courtney don’t be shy, make a new album, you actually write good songs recently). „Idealized identities”, well she’s as idealized as Amy Winehouse, lol.  

Courtney is human and makes mistakes all the time, but she doesn’t get offended when someone points them out and acknowledges her mistakes. Emilie Autumn thinks she does nothin wrong, she’s always right and if you don’t like it, fuck you, get outta her house, fucking patronizing fucking. Idk why should i explain it any longer, it’s obvious.

[fmdwooramarchive]

AHN SANGWOOK — SCHEDULE #1 (RECORDING OF WHEN YOU CALL MY NAME)

WC: 510 SUMMARY: Here we see Alex’s process to write a part of the lyrics for his next single When You Call My Name. The recording process and his frustrations of not being able to sing it properly. The lyrics hit too close to home but he’ll deny this till the end of his days. Mentions of @dawonfmd and @fmdminjung really briefly. 

Most of the time when he writes, he creates a story in his head. With characters who have motivations and dreams and ways of life that are completely different from his. When he co-writes ‘When You Call My Name’, it’s no different. Or maybe it is a little.

The idea came to him not long after the retreat that happened in the month of June. After he got stuck in the mountain with Dawon, after his kiss with Minjung, after writing things in a diary that just as he predicted, was thrown inside his wardrobe prone to get lost among the rest of his clothes. He just had showered and he was looking at his own foggy reflection when the idea came to him. Eyes that look unfamiliar.

At the time, he thought it was just something from the back of his head, an idea that came at him uncalled and he was going to make great use of it. But now that he had created his character in his head, that’s going through the situations of the song, his brain won’t stop finding similarities between his poetic persona and himself. He pushes that thought away more times than he can count and it frustrates him beyond comprehension.

The bad thing is that the song is actually pretty good, it’s not as if he can just throw it away and pretend it never existed, because it’s actually decent.

When he records the song though, what impresses him the most is how emotional he sounds.

He had emotional tracks in the past but nothing like this, weighing in his voice and making him go over and over again because it just didn’t sound the way it should. He should be a professional and this story is not even his so why is he bothered like this?

The whole process is painfully slow it feels and it’s so bad that he’s good at everything but he’s failing so clearly at this. He spends more than a couple of days in the studio, going back and forth on this thing. Singing this song in different ways that sound good but don’t sound sincere and he praises himself so much in being a good actor, the least he could do was sound as he fucking meant what he was singing.

When it’s finally done and they finish the recording, the producer congratulates him with a big smile, saying that this song sounds good and he did a good job at it. Alex is also in a high because he finally got a version of the song that sounds good and honest but he doesn’t sound broken altogether.

His mood falters when he remembers that he’ll have to perform this song during his concert next month and the way songs turn out on the live stage is always different from the recording booth, so he’s terrified of the possible outcomes.

He goes back home that day to celebrate his masterpiece and wakes up the next morning with way too many bottles of beer around him.

[pastelwitchling]

Malex one-shot Angst/Fluff Prompt List #9 (Prompt #3)

3. “What happened to you?”

***

               “Maybe we’ll find something in his journals,” Kyle said, already making his way to the pile of notebooks and loose paper.

               “Great idea,” Michael said dryly, his feet on the table in front of him, his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned back in his chair. “The old man’s diary entries, that ought to be helpful.”

               “Do you have anything useful to say, or do you just plan on sitting there all night?”

               “Most useful thing I have to say, Valenti, I’ve already said it. Trusting you is a bad idea, especially considering the fact that I’m just now finding out that you and Alex have been getting awfully cozy in this bunker for months –”

               “We’re partners,” Kyle said, and Michael’s expression hardened. “I trust him a lot more than I trust any of you to work with on this, and believe me, if it hadn’t been for him, you would not be here right now.”

               He stood. “You and Alex aren’t partners. Don’t use that word again. He only got roped into this because of you and your big mouth.”

               “So you’re upset he knows the truth now? Were you having that much fun lying to his face every day?”

               “You son of a bitch –”

               “Enough!” Alex snapped. His hands were clenched into fists on the console, and there was a slight slump in his shoulders as if standing for so long was draining. He looked over his shoulder, annoyed. “You’re giving me a migraine with all this ridiculous bickering, can you please give it a rest for two minutes and focus?!”

               Michael leaned against the table with a scoff, but said nothing. Alex huffed, and said, “I read through the journals—”

               “-All of them?” Michael asked, his brows raised slightly in surprise.

               “-and none of them have said anything about aliens, mentioned the letters, or explains why they’re written in that new language.” He looked over his shoulder at Kyle. “You’d probably have a better chance at finding something, if anything’s there at all. He may have used a special word or nickname that I’m just unfamiliar with.”

               “Gotcha,” Kyle nodded once, and Michael couldn’t help but be bitter at how familiar they sounded. He knew they’d been working with each other for months, but part of him had imagined – or hoped, really – that Alex had hated every second of it, had forced himself to be around Kyle for the sake of uncovering a mystery and making things right.

               Now, as Alex nodded back to Kyle and turned to resume his work without question, Michael could see the amount of trust they shared.

               We’re partners, Kyle’s words rang in his ears, and he pursed his lips, watching with a glare as Kyle glanced at him before taking the notebooks and leaving.

               In the quiet, Michael could hear Alex muttering to himself, typing rapidly on the keyboard as if he knew what each next move was.

               “What’re you doing?” Michael asked, pulling himself off the table and taking a step towards him.

               “Cross-referencing the symbols from that broken UFO piece to any kind of ancient epigraphy. Jim Valenti was clearly working on the same alien symbols, even used them himself, which means they’re a language. If I can locate a similar written pattern recorded at any point in Roswell, especially around the initial crash time, I can find whoever else Jim might’ve been in contact with.”

               Michael stared. “You used to play guitar. Do you still do that?”

               Alex blinked, as if Michael’s statement made no sense, as if he wasn’t talking about Alex at all. “What?”

               Michael came closer, and leaned his back against the console, his eyes on Alex. “You used to play guitar. You used to wear makeup, and ripped jeans, and you talked about wanting to making music.”

               “So did you,” Alex said with a smile that did nothing to hide the pain in his eyes. Michael shook his head. Had Alex always looked so… sad?

               “What happened to you, Alex? Now you’re talking about coordinates a-and ancient languages and you’re using words like in contact with. And this isn’t because of the alien crap, you were like this when you were still making jokes that it didn’t exist.”

               “War happened, Guerin,” Alex said very matter-of-factly. There was no venom in his voice, no cruelty, no taunting… but it still made Michael’s face fall, any false humor in his tone gone.

               “I’m smarter than you give me credit for, you know,” he smirked, and Michael didn’t fail to miss the hurt that flashed his face, as if he thought Michael had considered him incapable of anything to do with intelligence. Michael wanted to close the gap between them and take Alex in his arms, but Alex had gone rigged all over, signaling he didn’t want to be touched.

               “I got good, quickly, and the better I got, the more they wanted me to do.” He scoffed. “It’s a tough mindset to get out of when you’ve been in it long enough. There’s always a war, a fight, a battle to be won or lost. Always.”

               Michael swallowed, his fingers digging into his arms as he kept them crossed. “Why didn’t you ever say no? You could’ve walked away. You could’ve come home.”

               Alex smirked. “Home. What, to my dad, who hates me? My brothers who think I’m a waste of space? Liz, who had left Roswell and gone off to who-knew-where? Maria had her own problems, Kyle and I barely looked at each other at the time, and you…” he trailed off, and resumed his typing, his eyes focused on the screen.

               “I didn’t have a home to come back to, Guerin.”

               “But now you do?”

               Alex’s fingers hesitated over the keyboard, and Michael pained at how easy it was for Alex to dismiss having no one to be there for him. He was used to it, so expectant of it, that when he talked, Michael felt it as a sort of resignation. Alex thought he had been abandoned by everyone. He still thought that way, and the worst part was… he didn’t mind.

               “Now,” he said, pulling Michael out of his thoughts, “I have this.” He gestured to the screen with his chin, and went back to work. “It’s something.”

               Michael said nothing for a moment – what could he say? – and Alex chuckled. “Don’t feel too bad for me, Guerin. I got hurt saving my brothers-in-arms, I can proudly and confidently say that. There are worse ways to lose a limb. And for what it’s worth, Kyle didn’t tell me anything about the alien stuff, I figured it out on my own. Like I said; I’m smarter than you give me credit for.”

               Michael stared at Alex as he searched his screen, unable to look away. He stretched an arm out, his hand hovering over Alex’s head, his fingers close to brushing his hair. He wanted to touch Alex, to hold him tightly and breathe in his scent, if only to prove to himself that while Alex had changed, he was still here. With him. And he wasn’t going to disappear anywhere else, ever again.

               But then the door opened, and Kyle walked back in, an entirely new stack of notebooks tucked into one arm, the recent ones in his other.

               He set them on a table with a loud thump, and Michael took a step back from Alex, unable to help but glance at him even as Kyle watched him.

               “I brought everything I could find that he ever wrote in,” Kyle said, his eyes having gone to Alex as he plopped down in a chair beside the table. “Better get started, huh?”

               “I’ll help you look through them again,” Alex said, turning away from the computer and taking a seat beside him.

               “Good idea, it’d be a lot faster,” Kyle agreed.

               “Just tell me if there was any secret word or phrase that you shared, something that might help us decode whatever clue there might be in here…”

               Michael tilted his head as he watched them, their heads huddled together, pouring over the journal entries. He felt a jealousy burning in his stomach, but there was something else beside it. Something scarier and darker and sadder. Michael realized with an uncomfortable jolt that forced him to look away from the two as they worked that Alex had made a family when he returned to Roswell, but it wasn’t him. It was Kyle.

***

The prompt is courtesy of @hellsdemonictrinity.

Kyle Valenti deserves all the love in the world for being the first and only person to properly appreciate Alex. I’m completely in love and dedicated to Malex, but some Kylex was in order, I think.

[thanksforthedinosaur]

maes year end list

here are (most of) the albums & eps i listened to this year my favorites are bolded genres + my ratings added for anyone looking for new music xoxo mae

2 chainz - rap or go to the league - hip-hop - 3/5 4s4ki - nemnem - hip-hop - 3.5/5 aaamyyy - body - electropop - 3/5 adoy - vivid - dream-pop - 4.5/5 adrianwave - wave 01 - future funk - 3.5/5 agø - the door - hip-hop - 3.5/5 aimer - sun dance - j-pop - 3/5 aimer - penny rain - j-pop - 3/5 aintops - starry sky - kawaii future bass - 2.5/5 aintops - summer story  - kawaii future bass - 3.5/5 akai ko-en - kienai ep - indie rock - 4/5 akio watanabe & paniyolo - passage of sky - instrumental - 2.5/5 akira kosemura - diary 2016-2019 - instrumental - 4/5 akua - them spirits - r&b - 4/5 albert karch & ichiko aoba - celestially light - indie/folk - 4/5 aldous harding - designer - indie/folk - 3.5/5 alessia cara - this summer - pop - 2.5/5 alexia avina - all that i can't see - indie/folk - 3.5/5 alex lahey - the best of luck club - indie rock - 4/5 alex lustig – room for thought - electropop - 4/5 ali barter - hello, i'm doing my best - indie rock - 4/5 alomar - soul case - indie/folk - 3.5/5 aly & aj - sanctuary - pop - 4/5 amazarashi - play goodbye - indie rock - 3/5 american football - american football (lp3) - emo/dream-pop - 5/5 amy o - shell - indie rock - 4.5/5 anamanaguchi - [usa] - electropop/chiptune - 3.5/5 andrea von kampen - old country - indie/folk - 3.5/5 andrea von kampen - twilight & evening bell - indie/folk - 4/5 android52 - ultra groove product - kawaii future bass/future funk - 3.5/5 android apartment - the stars through your eyes - future funk - 2.5/5 android apartment - collection, pt.4 - future funk - 3/5 android apartment - we are the lights - future funk - 3.5/5 and the kids - when this life is over - indie rock - 3.5/5 angel olsen - all mirrors - dream pop - 4.5/5 anima! - grow your garden - electropop - 3.5/5 anitta - kisses - pop - 3.5/5 anna burch + fred thomas - indie rock - 3.5/5 anna clendening - waves - electropop - 3/5 anna flyaway - tomorrow i will take a knife to your confidence - emo - 4.5/5 anna lunoe - right party - edm/electropop - 3.5/5 anna of the north - dream girl - indie pop - 3.5/5 annie hart - a softer offering - electropop - 2.5/5 annika norlin + jens lekman - correspondence - indie/folk - 2.5/5 another silent weekend - pen pal - lo-fi hip-hop - 4/5 another silent weekend - falling apart - lo-fi hip-hop - 3/5 antenna girl - lemonade moon - kawaii future bass - 4.5/5 the appleseed cast - the fleeting light of impermanence - emo/post-rock - 3.5/5 the aquabats - the aquabats! super show! television soundtrack: volume one -  ska/pop punk - 3.5/5 arch.moe - crystratos - edm/kawaii future bass - 3.5/5 ardency - girls against god - shoegaze/dream pop - 3.5/5 ariana grande - thank u, next - pop - 4/5 ari lennox - shea butter baby - r&b - 4/5 arlo parks - super sad generation - hip-hop - 3.5/5 arlo parks - sophie - hip-hop - 3.5/5 asako toki - passion blue - j-pop - 4/5 asako toki - toki chic remix - j-pop - 3.5/5 ashmute - night & night - k-pop - 4/5 ashnikko - hi, it's me - hip-hop - 3.5/5 asiahn - love train 2 - r&b - 4/5 aso - home - lo-fi hip-hop - 2.5/5 astrid s - trust issues - pop - 3/5 atmosphere - whenever - hip-hop - 4/5 attom - follow me - edm/electropop - 4/5 aurora - a different kind of human (step ii) - indie/electropop - 5/5 avery sennin & meltycanon - project reality - hip-hop - 4/5 ayano kaneko -  燦々 - j-rock - 3.5/5 azki - without u - j-pop - 3/5 b3lla - akihabara - kawaii future bass - 3/5 babymetal - metal galaxy - metal/j-pop - 3.5/5 backstreet boys - dna - pop - 3.5/5 bad bad hats - wide right - indie rock - 3.5/5 bad heaven ltd. - strength - indie rock - 4/5 baechulgi - soul searching - lo-fi hip-hop - 4/5 banvox - sellout - kawaii future bass - 3.5/5 barrie - happy to be here - indie pop/dream pop - 4.5/5 basick - whatiwant - hip-hop - 3.5/5 bats for lashes - lost girls - electropop - 3.5/5 bbhf - simple - j-rock - 3.5/5 bbhf - mirror mirror - j-pop - 3.5/5 a beacon school - cola - dream pop - 4/5 bedouine - bird songs of a killjoy - indie/folk - 4/5 bella boo - once upon a passion - electropop - 3/5 belle and sebastian - days of the bagnold summer - indie rock - 3/5 bellows - the rose gardener - indie rock - 4/5 bells atlas - the mystic - r&b/indie rock - 4/5 be steadwell - queer love songs - indie r&b/pop - 4/5 bethlehem steel - bethlehem steel - indie rock - 3.5/5 better oblivion community center - better oblivion community center - indie rock - 4/5 big|brave - a gaze among them - post-rock - 4/5 big nothing - chris - indie rock - 4/5 big thief - two hands - indie rock - 5/5 big thief - u.f.o.f. - indie rock - 4/5 big wild - superdream - indie pop - 3/5 biig piig - no place for patience, vol. 3 - hip-hop/r&b - 4/5 billie eilish - when we all fall asleep, where do we go? - pop/hip-hop - 3.5/5 billie marten - feeding seahorses by hand - indie/folk - 3/5 bish - carrots and sticks - j-rock - 3/5 black belt eagle scout - at the party with my brown friends - indie rock - 4/5 blackbird blackbird - hearts - electropop - 3/5 bladee & ecco2k & thaiboy digital - trash island - hip-hop - 2.5/5 blink-182 - nine - pop punk - 2.5/5 blonde maze - hold on - electropop - 4/5 blood cultures - oh uncertainty! a universe despairs - indie rock - 3/5 blood orange - angel's pulse - r&b - 3.5/5 blossom - terra incognita - hip-hop - 3.5/5 blue hawaii - open reduction internal fixation - electropop - 3.5/5 boa - starry night - k-pop - 3.5/5 body type - ep2 - indie rock - 4/5 boerd - misplaced - hip-hop - 4/5 bora york - emotion vertigo - indie pop - 3/5 boy scouts - free company - indie rock - 4/5 breakup - miss me - electropop - 3.5/5 bridal party - too much - indie rock - 3.5/5 brightness - brightness - indie rock - 3/5 brinq + antenna girl - sayonara ep - kawaii future bass - 3/5 broken social scene - let's try the after, vol. 1 - indie rock - 3/5 broken social scene - let's try the after, vol. 2 - indie rock - 3/5 bronze - east shore - k-pop - 4.5/5 broods - don't feed the pop monster - electropop - 3/5 brooke candy - sexorcism - edm/house - 4/5 brothertiger - a chain of islands ep - chillwave - 5/5 bryzone_ybp - back of the back - lo-fi hip-hop - 3/5 bryzone_ybp - oceans - lo-fi hip-hop - 3/5 bryzone_ybp - maybe - lo-fi hip-hop - 3/5 bts - bts world: original soundtrack - k-pop - 3.5/5 bts - map of the soul: persona - k-pop - 3/5 bülow - the contender - pop/hip-hop - 3.5/5 bülow - crystalline - pop/hip-hop - 3/5 burnout syndromes - myojo - j-rock - 3.5/5 by surprise - cosmic latte - emo/indie rock - 4/5 camellia & nanahira - goin' - kawaii future bass - 4.5/5 camp claude - double dreaming - indie rock - 3/5 cannons - shadows - electropop - 3.5/5 cape weather - cape weather - indie rock - 3.5/5 carlie hanson - junk - pop/indie rock - 4/5 carly rae jepsen - dedicated - pop - 5/5 carmody - catching blue - dream pop - 3/5 caroline says - ohio river ep - indie rock - 4/5 caroline spence - mint condition - indie/folk - 3/5 cassie marin - love me well ep - indie pop - 3/5 cattle - sweet dream tender light and your memory - shoegaze - 3.5/5 cautious clay - table of context - pop/hip-hop - 3/5 cehryl - slow motion - pop/hip-hop - 3/5 chance the rapper - the big day - hip-hop - 3.5/5 charli xcx - charli - pop - 5/5 charly bliss - supermoon - indie rock - 4/5 charly bliss - young enough - indie rock/pop punk - 5/5 chastity belt - chastity belt - indie rock - 4/5 cheat codes - level 2 - electropop - 3/5 cheese - plate - k-pop - 4/5 chela - delivery - pop - 3.5/5 chelmico - fishing - j-pop/hip-hop - 4/5 cherry glazerr - stuffed & ready - indie rock - 3.5/5 chief. - today - lo-fi hip-hop - 4/5 chief. - clarity - lo-fi hip-hop - 4/5 chinese football - continue? - emo/math-rock - 4/5 christelle bofale - swim team - indie rock - 4/5 chromatics - closer to grey - shoegaze - 3.5/5 chung ha - flourishing - k-pop - 4/5 ciara - beauty marks - pop - 4/5 cinema staff - cinema staff - j-rock - 4/5 citycop - nesh - emo/math-rock - 4/5 city girl - chroma velocity - chillhop/electropop - 4/5 city girl - somnolent nova - chillhop/electropop - 3/5 clairo - immunity - indie rock - 4.5/5 claris - primalove - j-pop - 4.5/5 claud - sideline star - indie rock - 4.5/5 clc - no.1 - k-pop - 4.5/5 cocabona & aura misha & monma - aura - lo-fi hip-hop - 3.5/5 commander salamander - off the goop - emo - 3.5/5 common holly - when i say to you black lightning - indie/folk - 3/5 com truise - persuasion system - chillwave - 2/5 cones - pictures of pictures - indie rock - 2/5 copeland - blushing - indie rock/dream pop - 3.5/5 cosmic boy - can i love? - hip-hop - 3.5/5 couple n - love is - kawaii future bass - 2.5/5 cowgirl clue - icebreaker - electropop - 2.5/5 the cranberries - in the end - dream pop - 4/5 cray - seasons change and so do i - electropop - 3.5/5 crck/lcks - temporary - j-rock/j-pop - 3/5 crck/lcks - temporary vol.2 - j-rock/j-pop - 2.5/5 cream - love + party - j-pop/hip-hop - 3/5 cricket blue - serotinalia - indie/folk - 4/5 cristina quesada - think i heard a rumour  - electropop - 4/5 cross record - cross record - indie pop - 3/5 crumb - jinx - indie rock - 4.5/5 cuco - para mi - r&b - 3.5/5 cursive - get fixed - emo - 3.5/5 cute girls doing cute things - scene - kawaii future bass - 2/5 cute girls doing cute things - slice of life - kawaii future bass - 2/5 cynhn - タブラチュア - j-rock - 3/5 daniela andrade - tamale - r&b - 4/5 daniel land - the dream of the red sails - dream pop - 3/5 daoko - daoko×dragalia lost - j-pop - 4.5/5 the darling fire - dark celebration - shoegaze - 4/5 daughter of swords - dawnbreaker - indie/folk - 4/5 death cab for cutie - the blue ep - indie rock - 3/5 deaton chris anthony - bo y - r&b/hip-hop - 4/5 deidre & the dark - variety hour - indie pop - 3/5 delta sleep - younger years - math-rock - 3.5/5 delta sleep & tricot - ghost city rarities - math-rock - 3.5/5 dia - newtro - k-pop - 3.5/5 diiv - deceiver - dream pop - 4/5 direct - cold ground - electropop - 3.5/5 distant.lo - bloom - lo-fi hip-hop - 3.5/5 distant.lo - silhouette - lo-fi hip-hop - 3.5/5 dizzy fae - no gmo mixtape - hip-hop - 3/5 dodie - human - indie pop - 3/5 the dollyrots - daydream explosion - pop punk - 4/5 dori freeman - every single star - indie/folk - 3.5/5 dounia - not good for the ego - hip-hop - 3.5/5 dounia - the scandal - hip-hop - 3.5/5 downfall of gaia - ethic of radical finitude - post-rock/sludge - 3.5/5 dowsing - sky coffin - pop punk/emo - 4/5 d-real [愛] - stuck in a rom​-​com - hip-hip - 3/5 dressy bessy - fast faster disaster - pop punk - 3/5 dsps - fully i - indie rock - 4.5/5 ducktails - hard rock cafe chernobyl - future funk - 3/5 ducky - optimism - edm - 2.5/5 ducky - i still believe in love - edm - 4.5/5 dude york - falling - indie rock - 4/5 dude york - happy in the meantime ep - indie rock - 3/5 dusky - imagine what ep - electropop/edm - 3.5/5 e1sbar - the legend of - electropop - 3/5 the early november - lilac - indie rock/emo - 4/5 earth dad - video music - indie rock - 3.5/5 ecco2k - e - hip-hop - 3.5/5 echos - even though you're gone - pop/hip-hop - 2.5/5 eerie wanda - pet town - indie/folk - 3.5/5 eevee - ep unknown - ambient - 2.5/5 eill - spotlight - electropop - 2.5/5 electric youth - memory emotion - electropop - 3.5/5 ella vos - watch and wait - pop - 3/5 elohim - braindead - electropop - 3/5 elsa hewitt - citrus paradisi - electropop - 4/5 elton john cena - all rats go to heaven - indie rock - 3.5/5 elva - winter sun - indie rock - 3.5/5 emily reo - only you can see it - indie pop - 3/5 emily yacina - remember the silver - indie rock - 4.5/5 emmy curl - øporto - pop/hip-hop - 3.5/5 erthlings - indigo - indie pop - 2.5/5 eva tolkin - truthfully - electropop - 3.5/5 evil - evil - indie pop - 2/5 exes - once more, with feeling - pop/hip-hop - 3/5 exid - we - k-pop - 3/5 the faint - egowerk - edm/electropop - 3.5/5 faye meana - shades of a dreamer - r&b - 3.5/5 faye webster - atlanta millionaires club - indie/folk - 4.5/5 feels - post earth - indie rock - 3.5/5 field medic - fade into the dawn - indie rock - 3.5/5 field mouse - meaning - indie rock - 3.5/5 fka twigs - magdalene - pop/r&b - 4/5 fleurie - portals: the b-sides - indie pop - 2.5/5 flor - ley lines - indie rock/indie pop - 4.5/5 floral print - floral print - indie rock - 3.5/5 florist - emily alone - indie/folk - 5/5 forests - spending eternity in a japanese convenience store - emo/math-rock - 3.5/5 for tracy hyde - new young city - dream pop - 4.5/5 fractures - reset - indie rock - 5/5 frankie cosmos - close it quietly - indie rock - 4/5 fresh - withdraw - indie rock - 3.5/5 friday night plans - complex - r&b - 3/5 fujifire - fuji's dream cafe - future funk - 4/5 gabrielle aplin - like you say you do - pop - 3.5/5 gabrielle papillon - shout - indie pop - 2.5/5 galaxy fingers - the last bastion of fox quality - dream pop - 4/5 gemma ray - psychogeology - indie/folk - 3.5/5 genie high - ジェニーハイストーリー - j-rock - 3.5/5 geotheory - broken heartdrive - edm - 3.5/5 geotheory - theory voyages 003 - edm - 3/5 geowulf - my resignation - indie rock - 4/5 the get up kids - problems - emo/pop punk - 4.5/5 gfriend - fever season - k-pop - 3.5/5 gfriend - time for us - k-pop - 3/5 gia margaret - there's always glimmer - indie/folk - 3.5/5 (g)i-dle - i made - k-pop - 3/5 girl in red - chapter 2 - indie rock - 3/5 girlpool - what chaos is imaginary - indie rock - 4/5 girl ray - girl - indie pop - 3.5/5 glassio - age of experience - electropop - 3.5/5 goldroom - plunge /\ surface - edm/electropop - 4.5/5 goodbye fujiyama - キャッチャー·イン·ザ·ヘル - j-rock/pop punk - 4.5/5 goon - heaven is humming - indie rock - 4/5 goosetaf & oatmello - sugar - lo-fi hip-hop - 3.5/5 got7 - call my name - k-pop - 3.5/5 grace ives - 2nd - indie pop - 3.5/5 great deceivers - in spirit - indie rock - 3.5/5 great grandpa - four of arrows - indie rock - 4/5 group action - super music - j-rock/j-pop - 4.5/5 gurr - she says - indie rock - 3.5/5 hachioji p - graphix - kawaii future bass/vocaloid - 4/5 hamidasystem - down - j-rock/j-pop - 2.5/5 hana - hanadriel - pop - 4/5 hand habits - placeholder - indie/folk - 4/5 hannah cohen - welcome home - indie/folk - 3/5 happy kuru kuru - 4 kinds of happy kuru kuru!? - kawaii future bass - 3/5 harmony woods - make yourself at home - indie rock - 5/5 harry styles - fine line - pop - 4/5 hatchie - keepsake - dream pop - 4/5 hawthorne heights - lost frequencies - emo - 2.5/5 haybaby - they get there - indie rock - 3.5/5 hayley kiyoko - i'm too sensitive for this shit - pop - 4/5 heize - she's fine - k-pop - 3/5 hélène barbier - have you met elliott? - indie rock - 3.5/5 h.e.r. - i used to know her - hip-hop - 4/5 hibou - clarity - dream pop - 3.5/5 highnoon - semi sweet - indie rock - 3.5/5 the highwomen - the highwomen - indie/folk - 4/5 hikes - mahal kita - indie rock - 4/5 hiromi - spectrum - instrumental - 4/5 hitorie - howls - j-rock - 3.5/5 hitsujibungaku - きらめき - j-rock - 3/5 holiday ghosts - west bay playroom - indie rock - 3/5 holiday sidewinder - forever or whatever - electropop - 3.5/5 holy holy - my own pool of light - indie rock - 3/5 home - hold - electropop - 4/5 homecomings - cakes - j-rock - 5/5 homeshake - helium - indie rock - 4/5 honeyblood - in plain sight - indie rock - 3/5 honeycomebear - holic - kawaii future bass - 3/5 honeymoan - body - indie rock - 3.5/5 hoody - departure - k-pop - 3.5/5 hope tala - sensitive soul - indie/r&b - 3/5 horsebeach - the unforgiving current - indie pop - 3/5 hovvdy - heavy lifter - indie rock - 4.5/5 hozier - wasteland, baby! - indie/folk - 5/5 hydrogen sea - automata - indie pop - 3/5 hylen - lovesickness - kawaii future bass - 2.5/5 ider - emotional education - electropop - 3.5/5 i don't like mondays. - future - j-pop - 3/5 i love your lifestyle - the movie - emo - 4/5 imeiden - imeiden volume 3 - kawaii future pop - 4/5 the indigo east end - 濡れゆく私小説 - j-rock - 4/5 infinity crush - virtual heaven - indie rock - 4/5 ingrid michaelson - stranger songs - indie pop - 3/5 ings - lullaby rock - indie/folk - 2.5/5 insignificant other - i'm so glad i feel this way about you - indie rock - 3/5 instupendo - boys by girls - electronic - 5/5 iri - shade - j-pop - 5/5 isyana sarasvati - air - pop - 3/5 iz*one - vampire - j-pop - 3.5/5 izumi makura - as usual - j-pop - 4/5 izzamuzzic - unsaid - edm/electropop - 4/5 jack m. senff - good to know you - indie/folk - 4/5 jaden - erys - hip-hop - 3.5/5 jake hope - icare2much - hip-hop - 3.5/5 jamila woods - legacy! legacy! - r&b/hip-hop - 5/5 the japanese house - good at falling - indie pop - 4/5 jay som - anak ko - indie rock - 5/5 jealous of the birds - wisdom teeth - indie rock - 3/5 jean deaux - empathy - hip-hop - 3.5/5 jeffe - one hundred percent - electropop - 2.5/5 jenny lewis - on the line - indie pop - 4/5 jenny owen youngs - night shift - indie/folk - 4/5 jeremy zucker & chelsea cutler - brent - indie/folk - 3.5/5 jeromes dream - lp - screamo - 2/5 jesca hoop - stonechild - indie/folk - 4/5 jessica pratt - quiet signs - 3.5/5 jetty bones - "-" - emo - 3.5/5 jimmy eat world - surviving - emo - 3.5/5 jizue - gallery - math-rock - 4/5 jonatan leandoer127 - nectar - indie/folk - 2.5/5 juice wrld - death race for love - hip-hop - 3.5/5 julia jacklin - crushing - indie rock - 4/5 juliana hatfield - weird - indie rock - 4/5 julia shapiro - perfect version - indie rock - 4.5/5 jyocho - 綺麗な三角、朝日にんげん - math-rock - 4/5 kaina - next to the sun - r&b - 4/5 kainalu - lotus gate - electropop - 4.5/5 kallitechnis - chromatic - r&b - 3.5/5 kana-boon - nerine - j-rock - 3.5/5 karen o & danger mouse - lux prima - indie rock - 4/5 kari faux - cry 4 help - hip-hop - 3.5/5 kate bollinger - i don't wanna lose - indie rock - 3.5/5 kate teague - kate teague - indie rock - 3.5/5 kate tempest - the book of traps and lessons - spoken word - 5/5 katie dey - solipsisters - indie/folk - 5/5 kehlani - while we wait - hip-hop - 4/5 keisei - ミライトアルマチ都々里 - j-pop/vocaloid - 4/5 kemono - 美しい傷 - j-rock - 3.5/5 keren ann - bleue - indie pop - 3/5 key - i wanna be - k-pop - 3/5 khalid - free spirit - r&b - 3.5/5 kiana ledé - myself - hip-hop - 3/5 kim petras - clarity - pop - 5/5 kim petras - turn off the light - electropop - 4/5 king princess - cheap queen - pop - 4.5/5 kirara magic - magic shop - kawaii future bass - 3.5/5 kitten - goodbye honeymoon phase - indie pop/indie rock - 3.5/5 kitty - rose gold - electropop/hip-hop - 5/5 klp - giver - edm/electropop - 4/5 kolme - do you know kolme? - j-pop - 3.5/5 kolme - hello kolme - j-pop - 4/5 [ k s r ] - unfiltered - hip-hop - 3.5/5 kuranes - lakeside - lo-fi hip-hop - 4/5 kyyhky - do you feel lonely? - lo-fi hip-hop - 3.5/5 la dispute - panorama - indie rock - 3/5 lady lamb - even in the tremor - indie/folk - 3/5 la fine equipe - 5th season - hip-hop - 4/5 lagwagon - railer - pop punk - 3.5/5 lana del rey - norman fucking rockwell! - pop - 5/5 lane 8 - feld / anthracite - electropop - 4/5 laura stevenson - the big freeze - indie/folk - 3.5/5 lava la rue - stitches - hip-hop - 3.5/5 layfullstop - cherries - hip-hop - 4/5 leaf beach - old growth - lo-fi hip-hop - 3/5 the leaf library - the world is a bell - dream pop - 4/5 leggy - let me know your moon - indie rock - 3/5 leisure - twister - indie pop - 3.5/5 lemolo - swansea - dream pop - 3,5/5 léon - léon - pop - 3/5 lightning bug - october song - shoegaze - 3/5 lily & madeleine - canterbury girls - indie/folk - 3.5/5 limonène - evergreen - kawaii future bass - 3.5/5 lina tullgren - free cell - indie rock - 4/5 l i p s - l i p s ep - shoegaze - 3.5/5 lisa prank - perfect love song - pop punk - 3/5 lisel - angels on the slope - electropop - 3/5 lite - multiple - math-rock - 4/5 little glee monster - kimini todokumade - j-pop - 3/5 little glee monster - i feel the light - j-pop - 3/5 little simz - grey area - hip-hop - 5/5 living hour - softer faces - dream pop - 3.5/5 liz - planet y2k - electropop - 3.5/5 lizzo - cuz i love you - pop/hip-hop - 5/5 loane - alone - pop - 3/5 lolo zouaï - high highs to low lows - pop/hip-hop - 3.5/5 lomelda - m for empathy - indie/folk - 4/5 long beard - means to me - dream pop/indie rock - 5/5 lorelle meets the obsolete - de facto - shoegaze - 3.5/5 lost film - zero summer - dream pop - 3.5/5 lost spaces - no-vacancy - indie pop - 3/5 louise burns - portraits - indie pop - 3/5 love x stereo - 37c - electropop - 3.5/5 lucie,too - chime - j-rock/pop punk - 3/5 lucky kilimanjaro - fresh - j-pop - 5/5 lucy ducas - 2019 - indie rock - 3.5/5 lucy rose - no words left - indie/folk - 4/5 lula wiles - what will we do - indie/folk - 3.5/5 lusine - retrace - electropop - 3/5 luvbird - wildflower island - kawaii future bass - 3/5 madeon - good faith - electropop - 4/5 madison mcferrin - you + i - r&b - 3.5/5 magdalena bay - mini mix vol 1 - indie pop - 3.5/5 maggie rogers - heard it in a past life - indie pop - 2.5/5 mahalia - love and compromise - hip-hop - 4/5 majiko - 寂しい人が一番偉いんだ - j-rock - 2.5/5 mallrat - driving music - indie pop - 4/5 mammoth penguins - there is no fight - indie rock - 3.5/5 manatee commune - pda - electropop - 3.5/5 marika hackman - any human friend - indie rock - 3/5 mark kozelek & petra haden - joey always smiled - indie/folk - 3/5 mark ronson - late night feelings - pop - 4/5 mauno - really well - indie rock - 3.5/5 mcclenney - i'm not here - indie rock - 2.5/5 meernaa - heart hunger - indie rock - 2.5/5 mega bog - dolphine - indie/folk - 4/5 megan thee stallion - fever - hip-hop - 4/5 mei ehara - 私をしも - indie/folk - 4.5/5 mei ehara - 最初の日は／午後には残って - j-rock - 3.5/5 meiko - in your dreams - indie/folk - 4/5 melby - none of this makes me worry - indie rock - 3.5/5 mellow mellow - dear my star - j-pop - 3/5 mélonade - mélonade - future funk - 3/5 meltycanon - love deluxe* - hip-hop - 5/5 men i trust - oncle jazz - indie rock - 4/5 me not you - already gone - indie rock - 3/5 the menzingers - hello exile - pop punk - 3/5 merriment - funny thing - indie rock - 2.5/5 methyl ethel - triage - indie pop - 2.5/5 mia gladstone - grow - indie pop - 2/5 michelle blades - kiss me on the mouth - indie rock - 3/5 microwave - death is a warm blanket - emo - 3.5/5 middle kids - new songs for old problems - indie rock - 2.5/5 mikanzil - 4th-peace - j-rock - 3.5/5 milk & bone - dive - electropop - 3.5/5 millie turner - hide+seek - indie pop - 2.5/5 mindy gledhill - rabbit hole - indie rock - 3/5 misogi - blood moon underworld - dream pop/emo - 3.5/5 misterwives - mini bloom - indie pop - 2.5/5 misty coast - melodaze - shoegaze - 3/5 mitsume - ghosts - j-rock - 4/5 mol-74 - teenager - j-rock - 3.5/5 molly tuttle - when you're ready - indie/folk - 3/5 mono - nowhere now here - post-rock - 4/5 moshimo - todome - j-rock - 4/5 moumoon - new moon - j-pop - 3/5 the mountain goats - in league with dragons - indie/folk - 3.5/5 mount eerie & julie doiron - lost wisdom, pt. 2 - indie/folk - 3.5/5 mourn - mixtape - indie rock - 2.5/5 mouse on the keys - nhkスペシャル ドラマ - post-rock/math-rock - 3/5 mree - the middle - indie/folk - 4.5/5 mt. fujitive - sanctuary - lo-fi hip-hop - 2.5/5 muna - saves the world - electropop - 5/5 mush - thank you, we're mush - emo/pop punk - 3.5/5 mutual benefit - just another diamond day - indie/follk - 3/5 nabowa - dusk - j-rock - 2.5/5 namdose - s/t - indie rock - 4/5 nanahira - nanamega kingdom - kawaii future bass - 4/5 nanahira - trip×frolic - kawaii future bass - 4/5 the natsuyasumi band - terminal - j-rock - 3.5/5 navvi - 2503 - edm/electropop - 3.5/5 nerd magnet - 透明になったあなたへ - pop punk - 4/5 nieah - 1% - hip-hop - 3.5/5 night flowers - fortune teller - indie rock - 3/5 niki - wanna take this downtown - trip-pop - 3.5/5 niña - love letters to you - dream pop - 3/5 nina nesbitt - the sun will come up, the seasons will change - hip-hop - 3/5 no vacations - phasing - dream pop - 4/5 nora van elken - skyforest - edm/electropop - 3.5/5 nuance - botän - j-pop - 3/5 nyankobrq - arbeit - kawaii future bass - 4.5/5 nyankobrq - real cat - kawaii future bass - 3.5/5 oatmello - imperfections 2 - lo-fi hip-hop - 4/5 oatmello & ødyssee - myst isle  - lo-fi hip-hop - 3/5 ocha - love story pt.2 - lo-fi hip-hop - 2.5/5 octo octa - for lovers - edm/electropop - 2/5 omaure - dystopia ave. - lo-fi hip-hop - 3/5 omaure - melt - lo-fi hip-hop - 2.5/5 omaure - wingsuit - lo-fi hip-hop - 2.5/5 omniboi - ego death - edm/electropop - 3/5 omniboi - quick breath - edm/electropop - 3.5/5 oohyo - far from the madding city - k-pop - 5/5 options - pacific notion ii - indie rock - 3.5/5 orancha - lemonade - electropop - 3.5/5 oshun - bittersweet, vol. 1 - hip-hop/r&b - 4/5 outer spaces - gazing globe - indie/folk - 3.5/5 overo - overo - emo - 4.5/5 p19 & camellia & nanahira - infiniti mofulity - kawaii future bass - 4/5 paellas - sequential souls - j-rock - 3/5 pale blue - have you passed through this night - electropop - 3/5 palehound - black friday - indie rock - 5/5 pasocom music club - night flow - j-pop - 3.5/5 passepied - more humor - j-pop - 3.5/5 password:password - session boyfriend - indie rock - 3/5 paula cole - revolution - indie/folk - 2.5/5 peaer - a healthy earth - emo - 3.5/5 pedro the lion - phoenix - pop punk - 3/5 penelope isles - until the tide creeps in - indie rock - 4.5/5 perc%nt - pvc - k-pop - 3/5 peregrine - as one would exist - emo - 4/5 phem - vacumhead - hip-hop - 3/5 phora - bury me with dead roses - hip-hop - 4/5 a picture of her - unavailable - math-rock - 3.5/5 pieta brown - freeway - indie/folk - 2.5/5 pikasonic - memory - kawaii future bass - 4/5 pile - green and gray - indie rock - 4/5 pink skies - infinity - indie pop - 3.5/5 pixx - small mercies - indie rock - 3/5 pleeg & yuca - horizon - kawaii future bass - 3/5 pohgoh + caithlin de marrais split ep - emo - 3.5/5 polkadot stingray - 有頂天 - j-rock - 3.5/5 polkadot stingray - ハイパークラクション - j-rock - 3.5/5 the pom-poms - i was on the news - hip-hop - 3/5 poppy - choke - metal/pop - 3.5/5 potty mouth - snafu - pop punk - 4/5 prince innocence - blue star ep - electropop - 3.5/5 project skylate - augmented life ep - kawaii future bass - 3.5/5 pronoun - i'll show you stronger - indie rock - 3.5/5 proper. - i spent the winter writing songs about getting better - emo - 3.5/5 prune deer - insufficient postage - indie rock - 2.5/5 puddle splasher - the blankets blue - indie rock - 3/5 pvris - hallucinations - electropop - 3/5 [.que] - any - post-rock - 3/5 [.que] - flowers - post-rock - 3/5 queen of jeans - if you're not afraid, i'm not afraid - indie rock - 3.5/5 quin - lucid - r&b/hip-hop - 4/5 qveen herby - ep 5 - hip-hop - 3.5/5 qveen herby - ep 6 - hip-hop - 3/5 qveen herby - ep 6 - hip-hop - 3/5 radiator hospital - sings music for daydreaming - indie rock - 3.5/5 the radio dept. - i don't need love, i've got my band - indie rock - 3.5/5 rae spoon - mental health - indie rock - 4/5 raiche - drive - r&b - 3.5/5 ralph - flashbacks & fantasies - pop - 5/5 rapsody - eve - hip-hop - 4/5 raveena - lucid - r&b - 4/5 rayana jay - love me like - hip-hop - 3.5/5 red velvet - sappy - k-pop - 2.5/5 the regrettes - how do you love? - pop punk - 3.5/5 reptaliens - valis - indie pop - 2.5/5 rhye - spirit - indie rock - 3/5 riah - heartbreak magic - indie pop - 3/5 ricono - reflections - j-pop - 4/5 ride - this is not a safe place - indie rock - 3.5/5 riri - summertime ep - r&b - 3/5 rocketship - thanks to you - indie rock - 3.5/5 the rocket summer - sweet shivers - indie rock - 3/5 rocoberry - how is your night? - k-pop - 3/5 romantic states - ballerina - indie rock - 2.5/5 rook1e - sleepy boy - lo-fi hip-hop - 4/5 room97 - nova+ - j-rock - 3.5/5 rosemary fairweather - heavenly a second collection of songs - pop rock - 5/5 rosie carney - bare - indie/folk - 3.5/5 sabrina claudio - truth is - hip-hop - 2.5/5 sacred paws - run around the sun - indie rock - 3.5/5 saib - basement grooves - lo-fi hip-hop - 3/5 saib - mangroves - lo-fi hip-hop - 3/5 sampa - the great the return - hip-hop - 4/5 sanaas - marineart - edm/kawaii future bass - 5/5 (sandy) alex g - house of sugar - indie rock - 5/5 senso nakamura - nakamurasanso muchu - kawaii future bass - 3.5/5 sarah bethe nelson - weird glow - indie/folk - 3.5/5 sarah jaffe - smut - indie rock - 2.5/5 saro - die alone - indie pop - 2.5/5 sasami - sasami - indie rock - 4/5 satin jackets - solar nights - edm/electropop - 4/5 satomoka - merry go round - j-pop - 4/5 savoir adore - full bloom - indie pop - 3/5 the scary jokes - burn pygmalion!!! a better guide to romance - indie rock - 3/5 seira kariya - cover girl - j-pop - 3/5 sg lewis - dawn - hip-hop - 3.5/5 shachi - alone - hip-hop - 3.5/5 shady bug - lemon lime - indie rock - 3.5/5 shannon lay - august - indie/folk - 3/5 shannon wright - providence - indie/folk - 3.5/5 sharon van etten - remind me tomorrow - indie rock - 3.5/5 she her her hers - location - dream pop - 3.5/5 she is summer - wave motion - j-pop - 2.5/5 the shes gone - days - j-rock - 3/5 shunkan - cumberland falls - pop punk/indie rock - 4/5 shura - forevher - indie pop - 4/5 shy girls - bird on the wing - indie rock - 3/5 siamese cats - bouquet - j-rock - 3.5/5 sidewave – ultraviolet - shoegaze - 3/5 signals midwest - pin - emo - 3/5 sigrid - sucker punch - electropop - 3.5/5 silver sphere - yikes! - indie pop - 2.5/5 silversun pickups - widow's weeds - indie rock - 3/5 sinead harnett - lessons in love - r&b - 3.5/5 singto conley - eden - edm/electropop - 3/5 sipper - adam driver - indie rock - 3/5 slayyyter - slayyyter - electropop - 4/5 sleater-kinney - the center won't hold - indie rock - 3/5 slingshot dakota - heavy banding - emo - 4/5 slow magic - dreams - electronic - 3/5 slow pulp - big day - indie rock/dream pop - 4/5 slushii - watch yo back - edm/electropop - 3.5/5 small crush - small crush - indie rock - 3.5/5 snail's house - エイリアン☆ポップ ii - kawaii future bass - 4.5/5 snail's house - エイリアン☆ポップ iii - kawaii future bass - 4/5 snail's house - loves magic - kawaii future bass - 4/5 snail's house - scenery - kawaii future bass - 4/5 snoh aalegra - -ugh those feels again - r&b - 3/5 soak - grim town - indie rock - 3/5 solange - when i get home - r&b - 4.5/5 so much light - 5 minutes - indie pop - 2.5/5 sonoko inoue - 白と色イロ - j-rock - 3/5 sorcha richardson - first prize bravery - indie rock - 3/5 sore eyelids - avoiding life - emo/shoegaze - 4/5 spangle call lilli line - dreams never end - j-rock - 3.5/5 sparrows - berries - indie rock - 3.5/5 spinn - spinn - dream pop - 3.5/5 ☆star guitar - &ever - post-rock - 3.5/5 star house - you said forever - shoegaze - 3.5/5 starover blue - ordinary magic - indie rock - 3/5 stef chura - midnight - indie rock - 3.5/5 stella donnelly - beware of the dogs - indie rock - 3/5 stella jang - hazardous materials - k-pop - 3/5 strange ranger - remembering the rockets - indie rock - 3/5 sumin - oo da da - k-pop -3.5/5 summer walker - clear - r&b - 3/5 sunflower bean - king of the dudes - indie rock - 3/5 sun june - younger - indie rock - 3/5 sun kil moon - i also want to die in new orleans - indie/folk - 2/5 suran - jumpin' - k-pop - 3/5 sweet dove - hope is the thing with feathers - post-rock - 3/5 swum & jinsang - blossoms - lo-fi hip-hop - 2.5/5 tacocat - this mess is a place - indie rock - 3.5/5 taichi mukai - 27 - j-pop - 2.5/5 tallsaint - hard love - electropop - 3/5 tash - volume 1 - r&b - 3/5 tatiana hazel - toxic - electropop - 3/5 taylor swift - lover - pop - 4/5 teen body - dreamo - dream pop - 4/5 teen daze - bioluminescence - electronic - 4/5 tegan and sara - hey, i'm just like you - indie pop - 3.5/5 tei shi - la linda - r&b - 3.5/5 telex telexs - yes i'm 25 and i'm single - pop - 2.5/5 templime - pureness - kawaii future bass - 3/5 tender - fear of falling asleep - indie pop - 3/5 tennyson - telescope ep - pop - 2/5 terror jr - unfortunately, terror jr - electropop - 4/5 thaiboy digital - legendary member - hip-hop - 2.5/5 theodora - letsnotcallitlove - r&b - 3/5 third eye blind - screamer - pop rock - 3/5 this is fantastic for you - tiffy - screamo - 3/5 tinashe - songs for you - r&b/hip-hop - 5/5 tinlicker - about you - edm/electropop - 3.5/5 tinlicker - this is not our universe - edm/electropop - 4/5 tiny ruins - olympic girls - indie rock - 3.5/5 tiptoe. - daydream - j-pop - 4/5 tiptoe. - timetrip - j-pop - 3.5/5 tobi lou - live on ice - hip-hop - 4/5 toro y moi - outer peace - electropop - 5/5 toro y moi - soul trash - electropop - 4/5 toro y moi - smartbeats - electropop - 3/5 trace - like hell ep - pop - 2.5/5 t-rextasy - prehysteria - indie rock - 3/5 tricot - リピート - math rock - 4/5 tsubame - the present - j-rock - 3/5 tsunami bomb - the spine that binds - pop punk - 3/5 turnover - altogether - indie rock - 3/5 tusks - avalanche - dream pop - 3/5 twice - fancy you - k-pop - 2.5/5 twice - feel special - k-pop - 3/5 twice - &twice - k-pop - 3.5/5 twinkids - lizard house - indie pop - 2/5 twin limb - in the warm light, as a ghost - shoegaze - 2.5/5 two door cinema club - false alarm - indie pop - 3.5/5 tycho - weather - electronic - 4.5/5 ukiyo – ukiyo mixtape, vol. 1 - lo-fi hip-hop - 2.5/5 umi - love language - r&b - 3/5 uno - バーチャルワールドが僕らの町にやってきた - kawaii future bass - 4/5 upset - upset - pop punk - 3.5/5 vacationer - wavelengths - electropop - 4/5 vagabon - vagabon - indie rock - 4/5 vampire weekend - father of the bride - indie rock - 4/5 vantage - j-funk city: vantage's edits collection - future funk - 3/5 varsity - the basement takes (2015-2016) - indie rock - 3/5 vel the wonder - la sena ave - hip-hop - 4/5 versing - 10000 - shoegaze - 3.5/5 vessence - further - electronic - 2/5 vetiver - up on high - indie/folk - 3.5/5 violet skies - i'll buy a house - electropop - 3/5 waax - big grief - indie rock - 3/5 wand - laughing matter - indie rock - 3/5 wataru sena - on a rainy day - post-rock - 3.5/5 water from your eyes - somebody else's song - indie rock - 4/5 wasuta - cat'ch the world - j-rock/j-pop - 2.5/5 waveform* - shooting star - indie rock - 3.5/5 wavvy frog - played out - kawaii future bass - 2.5/5 the well pennies - murmurations - indie/folk - 2.5/5 weyes blood - titanic rising - indie/folk - 4/5 whenyoung - reasons to dream - indie rock - 3/5 whimsical - bright smiles & broken hearts - shoegaze - 3/5 wildlife - take the light with you - shoegaze - 2/5 wild pink - 5 songs - indie rock - 3.5/5 winter - hazy - indie rock - 3/5 wisp x - loner - edm/kawai future bass - 5/5 witchduck - witchduck - indie rock - 2.5/5 wizard apprentice - dig a pit - electronic - 4/5 wjsn - for the summer - k-pop - 5/5 wjsn - wj stay? - k-pop - 3.5/5 wjsn - as you wish - k-pop - 3/5 wookie & blossom - figures ep - lo-fi hip-hop - 3/5 wyl & wun two - lo-fi hip-hop - 3.5/5 xjk. - it's nothing personal - electronic - 3/5 xjk. - it's nothing personal - lo-fi hip-hop - 3/5 yawners - just calm down - indie rock/pop punk - 3.5/5 yerin baek - our love is great - k-pop - 3.5/5 yeule - serotonin ii - electronic - 4/5 ymck - family circus - j-pop - 3.5/5 yohuna - mirroring - shoegaze - 3.5/5 yola - walk through fire - indie/folk - 4/5 yorushika - エルマ - j-rock - 4/5 yota - strangers on film - edm/electropop - 3/5 young mammals - lost in lima - indie rock - 4/5 young thug - so much fun - hip-hop - 4/5 your smith - wild wild woman - indie pop - 3.5/5 yui sakakibara - emotion - j-pop - 3.5/5 yukiyanagi - azure world - kawaii future bass - 4/5 yuma yamaguchi - 連続ドラマw「坂の途中の家」オリジナルサウンドトラック - instrumental - 3.5/5 yuna - rouge - r&b - 4/5 yung baby tate - girls - hip-hop - 3.5/5 yung bae - bae 5 - future funk - 3/5 yutaka hirasaka - day by day - lo-fi hip-hop - 3/5 yutaka hirasaka - faraway, so close - post-rock - 3/5 yvette young - piano ep - math rock - 4/5 zilo - gorgeous - r&b - 4.5/5 サクラsakura-lee - little galaxy girl - future funk - 3/5 ハレトキドキ - サンシャイン・ラヴ - future funk - 3.5/5 ハレトキドキ - 追憶のネビュラ - future funk - 4/5 ペンギンラッシュ - 七情舞 - j-rock - 4/5 宇宙ネコ子 - 君のように生きれたら - j-rock/indie rock - 5/5 黒魔 (chroma) - 愛を喜ぶ街 - j-pop - 3/5 桜エビ~ず - octave - j-rock - 3/5 せだい - formula - j-rock 3.5/5

~~ ** compilations / various artists ** ~~

practical records - open source - electronic - 4/5 mirai chaya vol 0 - kawaii future bass - 4.5/5 mirai chaya vol 1- kawaii future bass - 4.5/5 mirai chaya vol 2 - kawaii future bass - 4.5/5 prhythmatic3 - house/edm/kawaii future bass/vocalid - 3.5/5 prhythmatic house 2 - house/edm/kawaii future bass/vocalid - 3.5/5 neonstride - edm/kawaii future bass/future funk - 3.5/5 virtuareal.00 - kawaii future bass - 3/5 spd gar 002 - kawaii future bass - 3.5/5 fugene 03  - edm/kawaii future bass - 3/5 ha[za]ard attack 4 - edm/kawaii future bass - 3/5 popover+teatime 5 - edm/kawaii future bass - 3/5 lilium x6 - edm/kawaii future bass - 4/5 j-neration toys 2 - edm/kawaii future bass - 4/5 fear and loathing in beats - lo-fi hip-hop - 3/5 futures vol. 6 - lo-fi hip-hop - 3/5

[ruffiorocks]

Kara and the tape recorder

I couldnt sleep and this popped into my head.

Imagine Kara arriving on Earth and being afraid she may forget about Krypton. Her ship was taken away the moment she arrived, so any technology and/or all the crystals her father stored for her were taken away. She can't talk to Kal El, he has the worst broken Kryptonian she has ever heard. She knows he has a fortress in the Artic but he has never offered to take her there, plus she hasn't seen him since the day the he dumped her at the Danvers house.

Kara is constantly told by Eliza and Jeramiah that she is not allowed to speak Kryptonian anymore. She's had to pick up English really fast. Every time she accidently slips back into Kryptonese her new foster parents frown and give her the lecture about how she needs to keep her heritage a secret.

Alex notices that this is bothering Kara. She's not a fan of her new sister but she can hear her crying at night, they share a room after all. So she puts aside her annoyance at Kara's very presence in her house and asks her gently what's wrong. Kara is surprised since Alex never asks her anything. In fact the only time she speaks to her is to say something bad or tell her she's doing something wrong. She hesitates, and Alex can see the hesitation, so she gives her what she hopes is her kindest smile. Kara decides to tell Alex that she is afraid that if she continues to be forced to repress her heritage she will forget her language and her very memories of Krypton. Alex's first solution is give Kara a diary and she can write her thoughts in there. This works to begin with until Eliza catches her writing in both English and Kryptonian about her life on Krypton. Eliza takes the diary and explains that Kara isn't allowed to do that, if anyone found it they would all be in danger. She tells Kara she won't destroy it, but she will have to give the diary to Kal El to take to the fortress. Kara isn't pleased when Kal El turns up to take the diary and she's given the 3rd degree on how she needs to keep their secret, she could ruin him! He doesn't turn up again after that.

Kara's watched even more closely after that. Her lap top is regularly checked for a secret diary, she isn't allowed access to social media and she has the dullest phone that has no apps. Alex feels the limitations on Kara are far to harsh. She tells her mother that Kara just wanted to preserve her memories, Eliza is sympathetic but she tell Alex the same as she told Kara, that life is over, best to embrace her new one. She can talk about Krypton with the family but that is it.

Alex sees Kara becoming more withdrawn, she catches her reciting kryptonian lines to herself when she thinks she's alone. She even begins to tell Alex some stories so at least one other person will know if she herself forgets. Alex can't take much more of this, she's growing fond of Kara and isn't enjoying seeing the poor girl suffer.

Then one day all that changes! Alex has been tasked with clearing out the garage. While she's routing around she finds an old tape recorder. She's about to throw it out when it hits her! This is the perfect solution to Kara's problem. Alex quickly puts it aside and finishes her task. Once she's done she goes into town and finds a shop that sells blank tapes. She then goes home and grabs a moping Kara and tell Eliza they are going to the beach. Eliza doesn't question it, she's just happy they are getting along. Kara however, is beyond surprised, but she likes the beach so she gets up and follows Alex out.

Once they are at the beach Alex stops and produces the tape recorder. She tells Kara that it's essentially a primitive device and no one uses them anymore. They've moved on to things like dictaphones but Eliza would notice that and Kara would have to store the recordings on a memory card and then her laptop. She demonstrates to Kara how the tape recorded works and Kara's face goes from confused to ecstatic in seconds! She can record all her memories and her language. She could make translations in case she ever forget what something meant. She and Alex now had a secret together, she throws her arms around Alex, their first ever hug. Alex stiffens first but she deny that seeing Kara happy has made her happy to. She just tells Kara that she will need a good hiding place for the tapes. Kara frowns at that, but then Alex tells her about the cave near the beach that she found. It's to high up for water to get in and no one else ever goes there as far as she knows. So she tells Kara she will have to record her tapes there and store them there so Eliza and Jeramiah don't catch her.

16 years later and Kara and Lena are having a movie night. Lena is a bit chilly so she goes to Kara's closet to grab a hoody. She drops it and when she goes to retrieve it she notices a box labeled 'memories'. Lena goes back to the couch and snuggles into Kara, they start the movie but Lena is restless. Kara notices and she pauses the movie. She asks what's wrong and Lena hesitates, she didn't want to seem intrusive. But this is Kara, she won't think that. So she tells Kara she saw the box and she's a bit intrigued. Realisation dawns on Kara's face and she gives Lena a sad smile. She gets up to go get the box gently shrugging off Lena's protest that she didn't have to.

Kara returns to the settee, she takes a breath and then removes the lid of the box. Lena can see an old tape recorder inside and some cassettes. She gives Kara a curious but gentle look. Kara then tells Lena all about her fears of losing her memories of Krypton, of losing her very language and sense of self. She tells her about Eliza and Jeramiah's tough love tactics and how much of an ass Kal El was. She tells Lena about how her pod was taken the moment she landed and it wasn't until she was an adult and at the DEO that she learned her mother had left her an AI! She even tells the part where Kal El stole her diary and flew off with it. Lena is both crying and seething. Her heart is broken for Kara and her anger is roused at Kal El and even Eliza. Kara can see how worked up Lena is getting so she holds her hand and rubs soothing circles with her thumb. That's when she tells Lena about the solution Alex had come up with, how she had found the recorder and found a place Kara could record in secret. To this day Eliza and Kal El don't know about the tapes. Lena feels a rush of love for Alex and makes a mental note to buy her her favourite scotch, or maybe design a new gun for her!

Kara then nervously asks if Lena would like to hear some of the tapes. Lena is shocked! She protests and reassures Kara that there is no need, these are Kara's memories. But Kara just smiles warmly at Lena and tells her there is no one else (except maybe Alex) that she would want to share her memories of Krypton with. Lena is so moved she starts crying again and it takes Kara pulling her into her arms and sweetly talking to her for 10 minutes to get her to calm down. Once Lena is calm Kara puts on the first tape. They spend the rest of the evening listening to all the tapes, there is crying on both sides, lots of questions from Lena about Krypton, lots of laughs from Kara when she hears herself talking about the pranks she pulled on her father. A great sadness when she hears herself talk of her love for Astra and how she wished she could see her again. Lots of resentment towards Kal El and anger toward her parents for sending her away. Lena realises that these aren't just Kara's memories, it was also a window into how she truly felt about everything that happened. Once the tapes have finished they both go to bed, emotionally drained from the evening. Lena is lying with her head on Kara's chest when something occurs to her, she asks Kara if she ever got her diary back. Kara blinks like an owl and tells Lena that she never thought about it, not even when Kal El finally gave her permission to go to the fortress. Lena snuggles back downs and tiredly tells Kara she should think about retreaving it. She also tells her that if Kara wants to record again she will set up system so secure no one not even Brainy or Winn could hack it. Kara chuckles and hold Lena closer to her. She doesn't need a super recorder device to store her secret stories now, she had the best recording device snuggled into her chest and wrapped up in her arms. She'll tell Lena all about her life on Krypton. Then one day when they get married and have kids (because Kara is totally planning on proposing, she even has the ring picked out) she will tell their children all about their heritage. Kara will never forget who she is now because Lena reminds her every single day.

End.

[warenerd]

100 Days of Graphic Novels

Subtitle: “Working 70 Hour Weeks and Commuting Means Reading But Not Writing.”

I am trying for more accountability, but, when my idiotic work schedule gets even more idiotic, sometimes it’s just my judgmental calendar of doom that’s keeping me on track. Also my cat. He judges me - harshly.

Look on my missing leg, ye Mighty, and despair!

Ahem. Anyway. So many books:

Day 1: The Umbrella Academy vol 1: The Apocalypse Suite Day 2: CatStronauts: Mission Mars Day 3: Apannine War Diary Day 4: Alex + Ada vol 1 Day 5: Alex + Ada vol 2 Day 6: Visitations Day 7: Another Day of Life Day 8: Daredevil Visionaries: Frank Miller vol 1 Day 9: Punisher: Welcome Back, Frank Day 10: Scarlet Witch vol 1: Witches’ Road Day 11: Jessica Jones vol 1: Uncaged Day 12: Infidel Day 13: The Deep Blue Good-by Day 14: City of Illusions Day 15: Mockingbird vol 1: I Can Explain Day 16: Ms. Marvel vol 1: Best of the Best Day 17: X-Men Gold vol 1: Back to the Basics Day 18: Kaptara vol 1: Fear Not, Tiny Alien Day 19: Eclipse vol 1 Day 20: Defenders vol 1: Diamonds are Forever Day 21: Hellcat vol 1: Hooked on a Feline Day 22: Chosin Day 23: Elektra vol 1: Bloodlines Day 24: They’re Not Like Us Day 25: Multiple Man vol 1: It All Makes Sense in the End Day 26: Captain America: Sam Wilson: Not My Captain America Day 27: A Russian Journal Day 28: Iron Patriot vol 1: Unbreakable Day 29: Divinity Day 30: Jessica Jones: Alias vol 1 Day 31: Tales of Suspense: Hawkeye and the Winter Soldier Day 32: The Fuse vol 1: The Russian Shift Day 33: Jessica Jones: Alias vol 2 Day 34: Into the Tunnel Day 34: Jessica Jones: Alias vol 3 Day 35: A-Force vol 1 Day 36: Edge of the Spider-Verse Day 37: Descender vol 1 Day 38: Descender vol 2 Day 39: Black Panther: World of Wakanda Day 40: A Farewell to Arms Day 41: I’m Not Leaving Day 42: Green Arrow: Year One Day 43: Daniel’s Story Day 44: Aurora’s Motive Day 45: Jessica Jones vol 4 Day 46: Symmetry Day 47: Afar Day 48: Morning Glories vol 1

Day 49: One Way Ticket

           A math professor at a nearby university related her escape from WWII to England. Interesting not just for the political trials and hoops through which she had to jump to get herself and her family out of Europe, but also for the way that retelling, rather than primary recording, has influenced the main thrust of the story. Also: illustrated. Adorably.

Day 50: The life of Captain Marvel

            I’m not saying I hated this book – I’m just saying that I’m opposed to it on a cellular level.

Day 51: Captain Marvel vol 1: In Pursuit of Flight

            Did I need a mind-bleach of what I’d read the day before? Yes. Yes, I did.

Day 52: The Boy Who Reversed Himself             True story: William Sleator was my favorite author for about a year in middle school. I read every one of his books that our libraries had, and then I read them all again. Six or seven times each (to the shock of absolutely no one who knows me). This book has forever changed the way I consider catsup. And it wasn’t nearly as racist as I’d expected, flipping back through. Hooray?

Day 53: To Fight Alongside Friends

            My best friend roped me into doing an online werewolf game based in WWI. I role-played as Charlie May, the author of this diary, and refused to respond with anything but direct quotes from his book. If nothing else, I entertain myself.

Day 54: Operation: Broken Wings

Day 55: My War Diary

            This one is by Dov Yermiya and is about Lebanon from June 5 – July 1, 1982. I have about six books within easy reach called “My War Diary.” This could prove problematic later. (Also, despite writing about Waltz With Bashir in grad school and for my dissertation, I still don’t know enough about this conflict)

Day 56: Descender vol 3 Day 57: Morning Glories vol 2 Day 58: The Drowned and the Saved Day 59: Jessica Jones: Pulse

Day 60: Zlata’s Diary

            I read this when sitting in the jail on a Friday night. There’s nothing quite so jarring as reading a firsthand account of the absolute disruption of life (and childhood, in a lot of ways), while listening to drunk sorority girls sob on their phones to their mothers and then scream about their Uber.

Day 61: Captain Marvel vol 2: Down Day 62: Avengers: The Enemy Within Day 63: Captain Marvel: Higher, Further, Faster, More Day 64: Captain Marvel: Stay Fly Day 65: Captain Marvel: Alis Volat Propiis Day 66: Carol Danvers vol 1: The Ms Marvel Years

Day 67: One Week in the Library

            Please give me more weeks, Image Comics. Please.

Day 68: The Troop

            Noel Clarke, I love you, but this feels like well-trod ground at this point.

Day 69: Bitch Planet

            I legitimately squealed, out loud, when Kelly Sue DeConnick was on screen during Captain Marvel. High pitched. And then, because I have no game, I whacked my BFF on the arm and whispered (er, “whispered”?) “THAT WAS KELLY SUE!!” No one else was impressed by my mad comic knowledge, but, eh.

Day 70: Jessica Jones vol 3: Return of the Purple Man

           Guess which superstar never read volume 2? That’s right - THIS superstar.

Day 71: Mr. & Mrs. X

            Basically, I love Gambit. I’m okay with Rogue, but I’ve lived in the Deep South for too long to be completely okay with the extremes of character. And I also don’t really like Deadpool. At all. Despite all of that, I still enjoyed this.

Day 72: Secret Avengers vol 1: Reverie

            Unlike this, which did NOT get better with age. Ooooof.

Day 73: Avengers AI vol 1: Human After All

Did I buy this simply for this picture of Vision holding a kitten? Yes. Do I regret that? No.

Day 74: Tet Day 75: Iron Fist: Rage Day 76: Zero vol 1: An Emergency Day 77: Faster than Light

Day 78: Descender vol 4: Orbital Mechanics

            I sent my BFF a copy of Descender because it’s gorgeous. Because she has even worse impulse control than me, she bought all of the other volumes and has already finished the series. I can’t even be mad.

Day 79: Lost Dossiers: Super Spy

            AKA: This would have made way more sense had I realized that this was a supplement to another work… which I don’t yet own. Womp womp womp. Maybe tomorrow I’ll read the From Hell companion, just for kicks.

Day 80: Carnet de Voyage Day 81: Hype Day 82: Dancer Day 83-85: Day 86: Wonderful World of Oz

Day 87: Port of Earth

            Know what I love about Zack Kaplan? He creates immersive worlds that aren’t just one thing – there’s not just one neat storyline wrapped up by the end of the trade, and there isn’t just one type of story at work.

Day 88: Material Day 89: Captain America: the 1940s Newspaper Strip Day 90: Peter Panzerfaust vol 1: The Great Escape Day 91: Cowl vol 1

Day 92: Ministry of Space

            That ending, though.

Day 93: X-Men Gold vol 2 Day 94: The Winter Soldier vol 1: The Longest Winter Day 95: The Winter Soldier vol 2: Broken Arrow

Day 96: Graphic Classics vol 22: African American Classics

            I yelped when I saw that Afua Richardson, Personal Hero, had worked on this. I have a panel from her illustration of Langston Hughes’ “Rivers” (done for NPR), and it is one of my very favorite things.

Day 97: New York: The Big City

Day 98: A Wexford Childhood

            You would think that a memoir covering 1915-1930 might touch on some rumbling of war. You’d be wrong. But, it was an interesting view of the changing world, nonetheless.

Day 99: Winter Soldier vol 3: Black Widow Hunt

            Brubaker, why must you hurt me so?

Day 100: X-Men Rarities

            There are few things that bring me such joy as the stiff pages of a 90s era Marvel trade – and, when those trades include comics with Chamber? I am so in. Now, someone explain to me how they always smell like cigarettes and wet dog, regardless of origin, and I’ll be all set.

[st-percocet]

all ending in 3 and 6

3. How many tattoos i have and what they are:I have 4? mlm sign, upside down bat, a cross (†), and an unfinished bart simpson

6. Favorite band:cancerslug / alex story / doyle / misfits / mcr / fiat__

13. Life goal:be a roadie, work in a venue, work in a record shop, be in a band, write/make a comic 

16. Favorite movie:Wanted (2008) probably!!

23. What’s your sexual orientation?deffo gay but like….whether that’s 100% or 98% i don’t know i am so confused how i feel

26. What’s one thing you regret?an unfinished bart simpson tattoo kidding i actually love it, hhh probably not being open about my feelings towards [redacted] whenever i see her even though we’re both CLEARLY flirting with each other i’m just frightened because 1) i don’t want to hurt her feelings when my brain’s like hhhh actually bud ur completely gay but then 10 mins later is like ? wyd i lied and 2) i don’t wanna date her again 

33. Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?yup but the last time was when i was like 9 so that makes me rlly sad

36. Have you ever had a crush?longest yeah boy ever

43. Have you ever been arrested?somehow no!!! even when i accidentally shouted all cops are bastards at the 4 policemen next to me while looking how i do lmao. i totally almost got arrested in salisbury once/idk what the cop was doing but he followed me from one side of sals to the other and came after me into a shop and when he noticed that i was aware of him (when he was pulling cuffs from his fucking belt) he ran out of the shop and tripped up 🤷‍♂️

46. Have you ever left your house without telling your parents?Nah!!

53. Have you ever slept in until 3?a few times, but the once i properly did it was because i went to bed at 6am, but the other times are like my bff and i have woken up and then gone back to sleep on and off all day or i’m hungover after a party so i go back to sleep until 5pm lmao

56. Have you ever made a snow angel?Yeah!

63. Have you ever touched a snake?I’ve owned 6 so yup

66. Have you ever had detention?3 times, hashtag such a rebel. they were for: not remembering my dictionary, not getting my diary signed, and being on the bus when there was a food fight and not snitching on the guy who did it (the literally only person who didn’t turn up to detention).

73. Have you ever felt like dying?does this mean have i felt like i’m dying, or felt just . like dying because ya 2 both

76. Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?plenty of times  lmaooo

83. Have you ever glued your hand to something?Never felt the need to, will update you if i do

86. Have you ever been a cheerleader?thank fuck no! my schools have never had cheerleaders and plus i . don’t like sports

93. Have you ever broken a bone?my toe, my wrist twice, my thumb, and possibly my ribs at one point

96. Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?i don’t think so lmao

[thatgunskid]

Jeff Woods is not as bad as you think (but it's still pretty bad)

A study in how to make a cringy creepypasta character even cringier

               I recently finished my first viewing of Jeff Woods, a webseries formerly part of the Fear Mythos that got uncanonized along with several other stories related to an entity called “The Architect.”  They went and formed their own universe, called The Architectverse, which I may cover in a future entry. The inclusion of scenes from The Architect saga as I have named it (which spans four channels and is extremely confusing if not viewed in context with the other three channels) made to make a story that already overstayed its welcome even longer.  That is not to say that the series is without merit, there were several things I enjoyed, from the inclusion of Jane the Killer (Who didn’t really do much and only showed up in person at the end even though she was hinted to all the way back in Video 4) to Jeff’s younger brother Liu (who thankfully wasn’t written in the same way as his CreepyPasta counterpart) to the way it dealt with Slenderman (who honestly is not a great plot device unto himself but works well as a side character or an ominous presence and thank God not in any fan-fictiony way).  Keep in mind that it may seem like I am being overly kind at the start, but that’s because this series was made at the start by twelve and thirteen-year-olds, so a small amount of cringe is to be expected. I will be keeping a running tally of horror webseries tropes and appearances of Slenderman.

               The series opens with Jeff and Logan, who appear to have been best friends for years and are going to keep in touch by uploading videos to the same youtube channel talking to each other a la vlogbros back in the day.  And right out the gate, within the first six videos we have no less than five horror tropes [check total video time on this]. First one is kind of meta, it’s the naming conventions of the videos, Test Video, Video 1.avi, etc.  Then we have a typical found footage camera test, driving footage twice, and white text on a black background. The latter shows up an awful lot in this series, and while I don’t have a problem with it per se, it becomes an issue when used in conjunction with the character using it speaking to the camera SECONDS BEFOREHAND.  Aside from these issues, the series starts out strong, establishing who the characters are, why we should care about them, (despite them being a bit cringe but again, they were 12-13 at the time so). We’re introduced to Jeff’s main antagonist for Arc 1, the leader of the bully gang, Kyler, who has no real reason to bully the new kid other than plot.  This is where my issues with the story really start to come out. In Video 6.avi, Jeff’s brother Liu gets attacked with a knife by Kyler’s gang, Jeff tries to defend him, and Jeff is the one to get in trouble, even having to appear in court DESPITE HAVING RECORDED THE INCIDENT ON HIS CAMERA. Then, two days before he is set to appear in court, the gang breaks into Jeff’s house and tries to kill him.  He gets pushed into the water heater and somehow it explodes (which wouldn’t happen unless they shorted the power to the inside of the heater somehow), destroying his camera and burning his face in the process. Then Jeff goes all murder-hobo and kills all the kids in the gang, with Chris and Kyler managing to escape. I’m going to skip to the video Message at this point, where Jeff does Jeff things, fights with Logan because everyone is against him apparently, and who should appear but old Diddle Fingers himself, complete with audio and video distortion.  Then nothing much of note happens, Logan meets up with Kyler to go find Jeff and talk some sense into him, they break into Jeff’s house, Jeff threatens Logan’s family, Jeff fights Logan again and brings Jeff to Slenderman, and Kyler and Jeff both disappear. Jeff is being chased by a group called The Sentience, kind of a Slenderman Cult, and they want him to become one of their gods by dying and being reborn. Jeff meets Alex from North Woods (another of the Architectverse series and the first that he interacts with), and Derek, the secondary protagonist for the series shows up.  His whole deal is that he’s trying to save his brother from Jeff, an admirable goal but he goes about it in all the wrong way. Granted everything in this universe works kind of the opposite way you would think, but there you go. Anyway, it is revealed that Jeff went off his meds, Jeff attacks Logan again, and kills him, saying “I don’t need friends” showing us that he really is beyond saving. Derek starts uploading to Jeff’s channel (which I will discuss my opinion on later) and giving us background for a lot of the events that happened (it is in his second video that it is revealed the water heater exploded).

               In what I am dubbing the second arc of the series, Jeff starts fighting a masked guy who is linked with Edward from Sirens in the Night named Reaper, who is looking for masks for some reason.  Jeff finds one of the gang who escaped, kills him, kills Liu after Liu trying to stop him (also underage drinking, don’t do that kids). Logan survives, attacks Jeff with a knife, loses, Jeff pulls a Habit and murders him to a song.  We find out that Jeff, Edward, Alex, and the guy from Mayhem Theory (the other main Architectverse story) are all marked for something. Jeff finds a mystical shiny thing and takes it, it turns into a burned stick. Derek tries to attack Jeff but they get teleported away.  Then we find out that Jeff is being controlled by The Virus, he attacks Derek and Chris, Chris ended up stabbed, Jeff ended up shot, according to Alex the west coast got nuked (the first of many nukings), Edward’s channel got taken over, and Mayhem Theory bowed out of all the craziness after discovering that he lives in an alternate universe.  Jeff calls out Derek and they fight, Derek gets saved by Zero from Sirens, Slenderman teleports Jeff to Texas. Zero shows up again, shoots Jeff who doesn’t have his powers, the Virus comes back and Jeff teleports home, passing out in his garage. He wakes up to the news that Alex and his gang nuked Texas to kill Jeff even though they were working together literally five videos earlier.  Then in the most ambitious crossover event before Infinity War, Alex, Edward, and Jeff find The Architect, fight him, and kill him ultimately. It is also revealed that Zero was Edward from another universe. Then for some reason Alex is killed by Edward. Then Jeff packs up a box of tapes, says he is going home, and leaves the camera in the middle of the road. He also calls out Derek and Derek feels like he has lost.

               In what I’m calling Arc 3, Derek has been scouring all of the old videos for a lead to where Jeff has gone.  He finds a clue in Logan saying that Jeff used to live near him, so if he can find Logan’s house, he can find Jeff.  He finds a girl in the woods wearing all black, finds a diary in a box in the woods. It belongs to Jane, and details how Jeff killed her family by burning their house down, and dates that prove she was around the whole time.  Jane steals her diary back, and runs away after discovering that Jeff is still alive. He eventually finds him by following a blood trail through the woods (later revealed to be Jane’s). Jeff breaks his arm, and gets shot in the gut.  Then Jeff gets his back broken by the Virus. Then we find out that Jeff isn’t really dead, Derek finds his old house, gets a box of tapes with everyone’s name on them. Kyler’s tape just shows Derek and Chris near Kyler before he gets killed (even though it didn’t happen).  The tape with Chris and Derek’s names on it won’t play. Jane’s tape shows her getting stabbed in the gut moments before Derek showed up. Logan’s tape shows a different version of Video 6 than we saw, it showed Logan talking about Jeff burning down Jane’s house. The Virus went after him because he knew too much.  Jeff’s tape shows the first time the Virus took over Jeff. He murders some kid in the park and finds a note telling him that he needs the Virus. Jeff shows up, kidnaps Chris, and Derek chases him. He shoots Jeff in the leg, fights him, then kills him for real this time. Derek sits near the lake contemplating life, then tosses the diary into the lake.  Then they decide they need to GTFO (because doing that earlier just wouldn’t make sense), Derek finds Jane’s diary outside the house soaking wet. Jane wants Derek dead because she was supposed to kill Jeff, she kidnaps Chris and Derek gives chase again, finally finds him in the garage. Jane knocks him out, then monologues at him after Waking up. She leaves to kill Chris, Derek breaks out of his bonds, grabs the gun, Jane kills Chris, then gets shot in the face. He reads a note from Jeff that tells him they really aren’t all that different. The series closes on Derek driving away and police sirens blaring in the background.

               So like I said at the start, there are good things in this series.  It began brimming with the potential for a fresh take on Jeff the Killer.  What we got was typical edgy thirteen year olds not knowing what to do with the source material they had, and the potential then suffered for it.  One of my biggest gripes is that Derek was uploading to the same channel as Jeff. From a logistical standpoint it makes sense, easier to upload and all that, but it kind of takes you out of the immersion.  Why are they both uploading to the same channel? Why doesn’t Jeff lock Derek out? Another gripe I had was that the majority of Arc 2 could have been skipped and nothing would have been lost storywise. And the shit that people give them, nuking Texas and all that, wasn’t even Jeff that did it, it was just mentioned as something that someone associated with Jeff did and people assume that means that Jeff was responsible.  Anyway long story short Jeff Wods is objectively bad, but there were parts that genuinely made me think it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, and then some parts that just made me cringe to much. All in all I give it a solid 4.5/10 for wasted potential.

[lovato-demid]

Demi’s Diary

June 24th, 2018

Dear Diary,

There are so many different thoughts going through my head right now.  My therapist gave me some questions to think about, so what better time than now to answer them for myself?  Apparently they are supposed to help me see myself better, but who knows.

What are you doing career wise right now? Right now I’m finishing up my European leg of my tour.  There have been a few set backs, but mostly it’s been really great.  Rian was here for the first part of it, but now that he’s back home, it’s kind of lonely, even though I’m surrounded by millions of people every day.  I also just released my newest single, Sober.  This song was a tough one for me to write, and even tougher for me to record.  I had to admit not only to my fans, but to myself that I messed up.  It kills me that I broke.  I never wanted to be back here, but I’m only human, right?

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? I’ve been thinking a lot about this question recently.  I’d like to say I’m gonna be sober, married with a kid and still making music, but the likelihood of that, knowing my track record, is kind of slim.  Doesn’t mean I’m not going to fight like hell for it though.  I’m better than who I’ve been and I’m determined to show people that I am. If you couldn’t do your current profession anymore, what would you want to do? I really don’t know what I would do.  Being in the entertainment industry has been my life since I was 6.  I don’t know how to do anything else, and that scares me.  I know I can’t do this forever, but I have no idea what my next chapter will be.

What is the hardest part about being a celebrity? People always think celebrities have it easy.  The fame, the money, the free shit.  But they don’t see the demons that come along with it.  Everyone expects me to share my entire life with them.  My ups and downs, are harder because of it.  I’m expected to be this perfect shell of a celebrity, and I’m not.  I’m ridiculed for my addictions and hated on for being honest about them.  I speak my mind and get called a bitch, but if I keep my mouth shut, then I don’t have any convictions.  It’s a constant lose, lose situation. Describe your ideal soulmate. I don’t really know if this is describing a soulmate, but I think I might actually know what I want in a partner.  I was someone who makes me laugh.  Who makes me feel like I can do anything in the world.  I want someone who pushes me to be better version of myself.  I want someone who is just as happy laying in bed all day watching movies, as they are going for a hike or working out at the gym.  I want someone who isn’t afraid to show they are thinking about me.  Someone who the mere thought of makes me smile.  I’ve been hurt so many times, so I need someone who isn’t afraid to break down that wall.  I may act like I’m this uber confident woman, but at the same time, I’m really just a scared little girl who needs reassurance, so I need someone who isn’t afraid to look at me and tell me over and over that I’m the one they choose.  It scares me to think that Rian might be the one guy who fits all of these.  He’s so sweet, and fun, and he just makes me happy.  Of course I can’t tell him all of this.  He’d probably run away terrified.  I mean I’ve already broken every rule I have and told him that I’m falling for him.  I’m so terrified that he’ll wake up one day and decide this really was just something fun, but now he’s done, just like Niall did. What is your go to guilty pleasure? Ah, now this one is easy to answer.  Everyone knows I love true crime shows.  The complexity, the science, the mental puzzles it takes to figure out who the criminal is...well it just fascinates me. How has your relationship changed in the last year? I don’t really like to think about this one.  I mean this time last year, I as engaged to Niall.  I know in the end, I’m the one who broke it off, but that’s just because I knew he’d never do it himself even though it was obviously what he wanted.  I never had any intention of letting emotions get in ever again, but then I met Rian.  I had joke around for years with Alex, that I though Rian was hot and just wanted to get into his pants, but then I met him.  There is just something about him that has me falling harder and harder each time I even talk to him.  Even now, just thinking about him makes me smile. Who do you dislike most in the group and why? Taylor and I have always been frienemies.  If we’re in front of a camera, we can be as sweet as pie to each other, but behind closed doors, we’re ready to claw each other’s eyes out.  It’s been so long, I’m not entirely sure how it all started.  I guess maybe it was when she stole my best friend.  Selena and I were always inseparable, and then Taylor came around and Selena basically disappeared.  Sel and I are getting closer again, but I feel like maybe that’s just because Taylor is busy stealing another one of my friends.  I don’t know why Alex is even with her.  What does he see in her? Who is your favorite person in the group and why? Right now, Rian is my favorite person.  He makes me smile, and I can’t wait to get to see him again.  Selena also has to be on this list.  Even all those years when we didn’t really speak, I always knew she had my back.  She’s my sister and I love her.  Then there is Alex.  That boy is someone I have always been able to talk to about anything.  When I need a good laugh to get me out of my own head, he’s the one I call...or did.  I should probably start learning to not rely on him anymore now that Taylor has his claws in him.  I’m surprised he’s even allowed to still text with me. Do you regret anything you’ve done in the last six months? There is a lot over the last six months that I regret.  Most of all, ruining my sobriety.  I fought so hard for six years, and in one moment of weakness, I threw it all away.  I hate that I’ve let everyone down, especially my mom.  The sadness in her eyes when I told her, will haunt me forever.  I’ve disappointed so many people, including myself.  I know I’m human, and everyone makes mistakes, but I feel like every time I do, I just end up with millions more people mad at me.

Okay, well none of this really helped.  I’m honestly more sad now than I was before I sat down to write this.  I wish Rian was here.  He always knows how to make me feel better.  Oh well, I’ll survive.

XoXo Demi

[shemakesmusic-uk]

This segment features artists who have submitted their tracks/videos to She Makes Music. If you would like to be featured here then please send an e-mail to shemakesmusic@hotmail.com. We look forward to hearing from you!

Danyka

French Canadian singer/songwriter Danyka's sultry new single ‘Toi,’ produced by Canadian platinum producer Chris Perry, blends romantic English/French lyrics over a chilled out happy R&B groove setting a summer vibe for a date night with bae. It captures the fun in those beginning stages of a relationship, where being with this person feels so new and exciting you can't get enough and want to know if they feel the same. Danyka elaborates, “’Toi’ is a happy, lighthearted bop about young love that maintains chill R&B vibes. I just wanted to have fun with the songwriting! I first improvised the last line of the hook, Got you on lock, oui je veux de toi, which set the tone for the rest of the song, flowing between English and French. A pink bubble gum song to save for those first few romantic and dreamy date nights, when you're cruising around town in search of different spots to enjoy together.” Listen below.

Danyka · Danyka - Toi

MAGELLA

MAGELLA is a Montreal-based singer-songwriter and DJ with the diasporic blues. With her powerful, warm tone, she uses the various colours of her voice to create a sonic canvas. She examines the themes of isolation, identity and resistance. With a futuristic vision, she writes songs based on her various music influences with a combination of electronic, jazz and vocal improvisation. Her new EP, Checkmate, was “borne of many pent-up emotions,” says MAGELLA. “As I came to terms with those feelings, I treated the EP's tracklist as a motion from my starting point to an arrival in my creativity. Checkmate features ‘Dirty Ice,’ which I wrote as a way to soothe myself after a friendship ended with repercussions. It is a reminder to myself to carry on no matter what is being thrown at me. I wrote it in a way to forgive oneself for not listening to their intuition and keeping on their rose-coloured glasses in unstable interactions and relationships. I explored different time signatures on this song, co-creating a fluid sound with New York based producer, Swaya. My intention was to develop a sound that mirrors life and how unpredictable it can be. I am influenced by jazz singers such as Nina Simone and Billie Holiday. I wanted to recreate their storytelling singing style and combine it with my interest in experimental sounds.” Listen below.

MAGELLA · Dirty Ice

Broken Dreams Club

Broken Dreams Club makes melodic, upbeat electronic indie music, contrasted sharply with sad lyrics about heartbreak, lost love and the human condition. Creating a place where broken hearts can find some company. After three years playing bass and singing harmonies for Bristol’s The Travis Waltons, Amy decided to focus solely on her own project Broken Dreams Club. Named after an EP released by the band Girls in 2010, Amy sought permission to use the name from Christopher Owens. He replied to her request on Twitter by saying ‘go for it’. He hasn’t subsequently responded to any other tweets but Amy remains a huge fan. While on tour in Germany in 2019, Amy caught the attention of Intersphere Records, based in Cologne, who asked if she would like to work together. In response she wrote and recorded The Party EP which is out now on limited edition cassette as well as all streaming platforms. Listen to the EP track ‘Pool Party’ below.

Alex Thom

Alex Thom has just released her debut single, ‘Wise Woman’. The Electro-Pop singer and producer is emerging onto the Scottish music scene with this energetic and heartfelt track. ‘Wise Woman’ contains a collection of Alex’s thoughts that have been twisted into catchy and addictive melodies. By using her signature production style, Alex blends bass-driven synthesiser pads and bright electronic leads to make ‘Wise Woman’ an upbeat and danceable explosion of emotions. Alex describes her aim with production is to create “a warm and juicy atmosphere that takes up the whole spectrum of frequencies to make each layer a listening experience.” Alex’s undisguised and unapologetic lyricism makes the focal point of ‘Wise Woman’ stand out from the first moment. Through experiencing the difficult times of trying to make relationships work, Alex explains that ‘Wise Woman’ can be seen as a message to a person who one wishes to be with, but notices all of the obstacles in their way. Alex says “I want ‘Wise Woman’ to have a personal meaning to every listener. Whether that be in line with my own meaning, or perhaps a different meaning. Regardless, my goal is to make every listener feel empowered.” Listen below.

Alannah Moar

With playful lyrics, warm harmonies and her signature, lilting voice, Alannah Moar has cultivated a powerful rawness in her music that will stick with you. From the age of fourteen, Alannah has been writing and performing her own material; teaching herself guitar and later finding her footing in the local folk scene of Aberdeenshire. Since relocating to Edinburgh, Alannah has spent time developing her sound, working alongside the likes of Berta Kennedy, Matthew Alexander and Gus Harrower. Consequently, her music has matured into a rich amalgamation of folk, pop and rock music, reminiscent of Kate Bush, Orla Gartland and Annie Booth. In Alannah's latest release, she wears her heart firmly on her sleeve. ‘Middle of the Night’ reads like a diary, depicting an explosive revenge fantasy on a cheating partner. A truly DIY record, Alannah wrote, recorded and produced the track (which only took a few days to write) over two years - even playing strings in the song's opening sequence. The song is a confrontation never had, the visceral fury we dare not act upon. ‘Middle of the Night’ is the unashamedly unpolished eye for an eye response. This is a song for those who are sick of "boys being boys" and want to scream at them instead. Listen below.

Zipporah

Hailing from the tropical shores of the Caribbean island of Anguilla; London born songstress, Zipporah, is back again with her latest single, ‘Pull Up’. Based in Manchester, Zipporah embodies the musical soul of each nation entirely, creating an innovative amalgamation of dancehall, pop and alternative R&B music. In each song, she is able to paint a distinct combination of bluesy, sultry lyrics contrasted by tantalizing, waist-rolling rhythms, and sprinkled with messages of enlightenment. ‘Pull Up’, features an electrifying dancehall beat, when combined with its infectiously catchy lyrics, makes it a fire-blazing, nation-roaring, summer anthem. With a lyrical focus on emotionally abusive relationships, Zipporah is able to exude authenticity and vulnerability, allowing listeners to feel connected as they relate. Speaking more on the release, Zipporah says: “It’s crazy how common emotional abuse is today, and yet how afraid we are to talk about it. While it is not as evident as physical abuse, its scars are just as traumatic. I wanted to draw attention to the feelings experienced when in an emotionally abusive relationship, particularly the feeling of being torn about ending the relationship. This song is about gaining the courage to demand better for yourself. Being able to understand that a problem exists and if it isn’t rectified, you’re not going to settle. You deserve not only happiness but peace of mind”. Listen below.

[wellthatwasaletdown]

"does anyone know if he and the band have been using a tour bus to travel between gigs on the continent, or do they just fly everywhere?" I know I sound like a broken record but if you want to watch some funny tour diary go and check out the Arctic Monkeys' "The View From..." videos on Youtube. Matt Helders is so funny! And the running gag of Alex and his margaritas is hilarious. Btw, they travelled by bus through Europe which ended up in another hilarious video. Doubt H did this though.

.