#the fact hes so angry and upset at the prospect of screwing up when he thought for one moment he could do it right

[fellhellion]

rewatching treasure planet was just. such a breath of fresh air after the kind of writing quality that's been coming out of the big studios these days. so nice to see a story confident in it's ability to have character drama without cheap "UHM i know that i have [problem described through clinical therapy language in some bizarre attempt at a self aware joke which only serves to undercut any kind of emotional connection you're forming w the characters]" beats

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

what does this have to do with clownfish?

i know this was a mostly sad episode that ended on a rather disquieting note, but i was grinning from ear to ear by the end, you guys. I LOVE THIS SILLY SHOW SO MUCH, and i want to tell you why, so let’s talk about titans 2.04:

SPOILERS ahead

1. i get why we’re getting a flashback episode now--the titans’ ~sordid past~ with deathstroke has gotten a fair bit of build-up, and now that slade has jason, we need the history between him and the og team to contextualise the upcoming confrontation. still, i was really looking forward to having kory reunite with the team, goddamit! 

1.5. i like the convivial, almost collegiate vibe that the original titans have about them--the idea of them getting together both desperate to prove that they are more than what their origins and youth might suggest, and to dick around (pun not intended) and just... be, in a way that their individual circumstances wouldn’t allow them. costumes on, in mission-mode, they are trained and hyper-competent, but in their downtime they apparently like adorably warbling off-key at each other and re-enacting 90s/00s cheesy rom-coms. it’s great! i would’ve loved to see these kinds of flashbacks drip-fed to us right from the beginning of the season--putting it all in one episode, from aqualad’s introduction to demise all in forty minutes, not only screws up the pacing, but also robs us of more of garth’s genuinely warm chemistry with the rest of the team. 

1.67. besides, the immediate contrast between this and the way dick conducts the titans now would’ve been funny and quite impactful.

2. for all that dick seemed standoffish and genuinely frightened of himself in s1, the slightly less filtered look we get into his mind in this flashback--well before his existential crisis--is somehow even more disquieting?? the way he talks about batman and his relationship with dawn and even his friendship with donna smacks of an alarming emotional disconnect; a space where his sense of self has fallen and been replaced by a role that he has been trained to play. he smiles more in this episode than probably all eleven of s1 combined, but he’s far more reserved, afraid of vulnerability, and completely unwilling to express any emotion that would come in the way of him being who he Needs To Be.

2.45. this episode puts into sharp relief just how far dick has come to make peace with bruce in 2.01. here batman is a glowing symbol against the night sky; a shadowy figure promising justice is vengeance and not the other way around; a hulking figure that he can hate and love without reserve, that orders him to be better no matter how exhausted he is, even while standing between him and incomprehensible evil like a bulwark. at the heart of the titans tower--a skyscraper on the opposite side of the country from gotham--is another batcave, a sign that how no matter how far he goes, dick’s perception of himself and his relationships is still inextricably tied to batman and his ways. 

it’s the missing link between the angry, grieving boy we saw in flashbacks last season, and the man rapidly spiralling into crisis at the beginning of season 1. he’s internalised batman’s mission before he can decide for himself what he wants to be, and he’s been like this well into his adult years (unlike the comics). no wonder when the moment he goes Too Far finally comes, when he’s so burrowed into himself that vengeance becomes an end rather than a tool, it’s such a violent upheaval, and one that he hasn’t quite been able to put to rest in over a season.

2.65. honestly the matter of fact way he talks about being dawn’s rebound relationship after her breakup is haunting me?? dick grayson--robin, batman’s partner, the First Sidekick, leader of the titans, friend, brother, lover, a valuable asset with trackers in his arm and neck--is so utterly subsumed that his feelings, his self, automatically comes second to the role he’s playing. i wonder if he had found that he’d had a tracker installed in his body without his knowledge at this point, he’d have accepted the cold logic of it (of course batman needs to keep track of him), instead of the visceral reaction he has five years later, when he immediately picks up a knife and cuts it out of his skin.

2.95. (retrospectively it lends so much more meaning to the opening scene of 1.08??? where dick says he needs to go off on his own to get his bearings right instead of staying on to be the Leader after their traumatic time at the asylum and kory and the others are quietly accepting of it?? where’s that ‘that’s growth’ gif when you need it)

3. donna! it’s interesting that her role as a titan was always meant to be a pitstop before she moved on to Greater Things, and her struggle to reconcile that with her growing attachment to the team came across really well. jillian’s never really pressuring her to leave immediately--six months! two weeks! idk, forever! really, it’s your pick!--but donna tells dick she needs to leave that very night, either because she’s hoping that he’ll protest and ask her to stay, or that she’ll fall for garth and lose her wavering conviction to leave if she stayed any longer, or both. 

3.5. donna and garth’s relationship followed so many wonderfully cheesy conventions, with all of their attendant adorableness and Problems. the scions of two different royal families of two different races falling in Forbidden Love! garth clumsily flirting with donna even as she keeps turning him down! (not cool, garth!) bonding over reminiscing about quirky childhood memories! consulting a put-upon mutual best friend! the last minute reconciliation and confession of love at the airport! garth dying right after celebrating his birthday! (that cop was just a day away from retirement!) PERFECT

like. i have NO IDEA why people still insist on calling this show ‘dark’ and ‘edgy’. don’t let the weird lighting and occasional blood spatter distract you from the goofy, well-intentioned heart right at its centre, you guys!

(but man, dick and donna’s quiet heartbreak at the prospect of separation was harder to watch. for a moment, dick really let himself feel the burden, sinking onto his haunches, his head in his hand like he was about to cry. just a moment.)

4. the others’ reaction to garth’s death is very telling. donna is devastated; hank and dawn are upset, but in a distant way that suggests that they didn’t really know him very well or for very long; and dick... well dick is hard at work in his batcave, because that is how he knows to react to disaster. 

4.5. i know that i spend quite a bit of my reviews harping on and on about dick, but he is more than just the team leader, or the one with the most well-defined arc so far, or the connective tissue between the old and new teams: the titans is HIS, in ways both subtle and insubtle. batman is funding the whole thing; their resources, their tech? all wayne enterprises. by extension, this shindig is dick’s idea, dick’s operation, something he shaped after himself--serene, beautiful, somewhat impersonal on the surface and batman-the-symbol, batman-the-phantom, right at the centre. 

4.65. so when the burden of morality-bending vengeance falls squarely on dick’s shoulders, it seems natural. it also seems entirely natural that when dick does follow through on what the team wants from him, the fallout is also put square on him: he’s the one that’s gone completely off the rails, the one that would sacrifice anything for a mission (like hank implies in the previous episode), the one haunted by his own darkness. this, of course, is patently false, as trigon demonstrated earlier this season.

5. the opening scene of slade wilson doing the Thing He Does Best was so fun to watch. i love that this show is always trying to do interesting things with the camera. (tho i wonder, who hired him to take out donna troy in san fran? was that even his original objective? was it dr light? i am Confusion)

5.5. ... even tho the villain-confrontation scenes seemed hampered by low effects budgets and a lack of... kineticism. i can’t figure out how dr light works even after two episodes of seeing him do his thing. he can apparently implant light bombs in people but never seems to use this awesome ability again, when it can actually help him against the titans? 

6. the moment i saw joey wilson’s profile through the window of his home, i knew he was going to be my favourite character on this show. i love him and his enthusiasm and his cute shoes and his love for vintage records SO MUCH! i know it’s been hinted that he died, but i can’t bear the prospect for even a second. HE’S ALIVE AND WELL SOMEWHERE HAVING TEA AND LISTENING TO GREAT MUSIC WITH AMY ROHRBACH, I JUST KNOW IT

6.5. dick (and the others) wouldn’t be so horrified with themselves and think about shuttering the titans for good if they hadn’t felt some kind of attachment to jericho. dick especially i think is going to fall into an actual honest friendship with joey and is going to extremely disgusted with himself when it all ends in tragedy anyway. 

6.75. we’re probably not going to find out what actually happened to joey for a while, but here’s hoping the Unforgivable won’t happen.

7. on the brightside tho, KORY’S BACK NEXT EP! can’t wait. 

[k-popscenxrios]

Didn’t Ask For This Part 15 (Roommate!JK x OC)

A/N: I am so tired, so sorry if there are a lot of grammar mistakes. I’m falling asleep while making this post! ^^; This is not the final part for those who might think that after reading. This would be such a lame way to end the story. I’ve got plans for (at least) two parts after this one!

Summary: “I didn’t know you hated me so much,” he spoke as he grabbed my wrist and once again turned me around to face him, “and quite honestly, I don’t think I’ve done anything horrible enough for you to hate me to the degree that you do.” “You say that like the hate isn’t mutual,” I remarked as he shook his head. There was a bitter smile on his face as he took a deep breath, “I think you are quite honestly one of the worst human beings I’ve had to come in contact with.”

5k words | drama/angst ✞ | fluff ♡ | mature themes ✗

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Finale

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

*Third Person POV*

The drive to the apartment was pure torture as Jungkook tried multiple times to get a hold of Ari yet again. She didn’t pick up any of his calls as he sighed and shook his head. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to calm his shaking hands. How the hell could he handle this stressful conversation knowing that RaeAri is mad at him?

He took a deep breath and tried to call her yet again, but she was adamant about not answering him. He felt nothing short of terrified of having this conversation with Taehyung. He always assumed that if he were present for the reveal of their relationship, RaeAri would also be there.

Nothing could prepare him to go into this alone.

As he pulled into the parking lot, his blood began to run cold. He sent several apology texts to Ari while he was still sitting in his car, trying to do anything he could to avoid having to go inside.

It wasn’t long before Jungkook finally made his way into the building and up the stairs, taking his time with each step. Every stair he climbed, the more deafening his thoughts were. Why was he having to go into this alone? Why was the universe this cruel to him?

The door finally came into sight as Jungkook felt his heart drop to his feet. What was he even supposed to say? He doesn’t know what Taehyung knows and doesn’t know. For all he knows, Soomin may have just simply said that something is going on between Jungkook and RaeAri that they aren’t telling him.

Jungkook tried to talk himself into going up the last little bit of stairs to walk into the apartment, but he just… couldn’t. He had unknowingly rooted his feet to the floor. With a nervous swallow and a death grip on the handrail, Jungkook forced himself up the stairs.

Maybe he was being really dramatic about this, but he couldn’t help it. Everything was riding on this line; his friendship, his relationship, his housing… He didn’t know where he would even go if Taehyung kicked him out…

And not to mention that RaeAri is mad at him, and that thought refuses to leave his mind.

He finally stood face to face with the door as his shaking hand reached out to unlock it. There was no going back now.

He slowly opened the door, slightly jumping when his eyes met with Taehyung’s furious ones. So he had to know more than Jungkook hoped he would. With the death glare Taehyung’s giving him, there was no doubt that he knew a little too much.

Jungkook let the door close behind him as Taehyung stood up from his seat on the couch. The living room was deafeningly silent since the TV was off, and the air was filled with tension. Jungkook still didn’t know what he should say, but Taehyung seemed to be waiting for Jungkook to speak.

“Wh-What do you know?” he found himself cringing as the words left his mouth. That was not the right thing to say. Taehyung’s angry eyes flared up even more as he charged toward his friend, readying a punch. Jungkook braced for the contact, but when it collided with his face, it still hurt like crazy.

He winced, trying to hold all his words in. This conversation was very important, and he couldn’t snap at Taehyung for anything. He couldn’t afford to make his friend any angrier.

“You slept with my sister, you bastard,” Taehyung’s voice was filled with pure rage as Jungkook felt his stomach drop for the nth time today. Did Soomin only tell him about them sleeping together? She didn’t mention the fact that he’s hopelessly in love with her?

“T-Taehyung, you don’t know the full story,” Jungkook tried to defend, but Taehyung wasn’t really up for listening.

“What more is there to hear? You told me ten million times that nothing was going to happen. You told me that you wouldn’t make any moves on her. Tell me, is she only in love with you because you two slept together? Did you put her under some spell like you did Soomin?” Taehyung readied another punch as Jungkook found himself cowering, still not having recovered from the first punch to the cheekbone.

The contact hit his stomach this time as Jungkook gritted his teeth, trying to bare the pain the best he could. He took several seconds to get his breath back as Taehyung just stood and watched his doubled over form.

Once Jungkook was able to properly breathe again, he spoke the only words that he thought might help his situation.

“I’m in love with Ari.”

His voice was incredibly weak from being punched as hard as he was, but the emotion was still there. It wasn’t a half hearted confession; it was a raw and honest one. His voice broke from the mix of emotions he was feeling as he finally gave in to his overwhelming emotions. His hard and cool exterior was officially shattered as he dropped to the floor and let all his tears fall.

He didn’t cry often. The only times he’s cried in recent memory were either when he was drunk or when he went to his cousin’s funeral three years ago. He had stuck to his harsh and unbreakable exterior for so long that he had almost forgotten what it was like to cry.

Meeting RaeAri was quick to change him. She cried over him all the time, and every time he saw it, he felt like crying, himself. He’d only allowed her to see him cry a few times, but he was done playing tough. He wasn’t fooling anyone with it at this point.

RaeAri has made him remember that he’s more than a cold-hearted, arrogant asshole. He does have a heart, and it’s a very fragile one, at that. He never thought he’d be broken so easily by someone, but he would never take any of it back.

“How fucking pathetic,” Taehyung spat, “Don’t lie like that just to keep me from beating your ass.”

Jungkook looked up at his friend as he felt their closeness fading. They had been friends for so long, and just the thought of losing him made Jungkook lose it.

It didn’t take long for Taehyung to notice that Jungkook wasn’t just crying, he was sobbing on the floor beneath him. He struggled to keep a harsh expression on his face, but seeing his best friend drowning in tears was getting to him.

He’d never seen Jungkook look so broken…

“I am so h-helplessly in love with Ari,” Jungkook repeated through his sobs, hiding his face in his arm as he took several breaths to try and calm his pathetic sobbing. He looked like a complete mess, and Taehyung was finally able to see reason through his rage.

“That just doesn’t make any sense, Jeon,” Taehyung shook his head, but Jungkook’s mood didn’t shift. He watched Jungkook’s shaking hand as he took his phone out of his pocket, checking to see if he’d gotten anything from RaeAri.

Nothing.

His throat closed up as he dropped his phone to the floor and tried to wipe away his never ending tears, “She’s so mad at me that she won’t talk to me. I screwed everything up, and I can’t take anything back to fix it.”

Taehyung swallowed and found himself lowering to the ground in front of Jungkook. He took a deep breath as he felt emotions trying to get a hold of him. He’d only seen Jungkook cry a handful of times, and he knew to not take this lightly.

This situation was so much deeper than Taehyung realized.

“Kook,” Taehyung spoke softly as Jungkook took a deep, unsteady breath, “Why is she so mad at you?”

It took Jungkook several seconds to calm down to form coherent words, “I told Soomin too much, but she was pissing me off… I was trying to tell her that I fell for RaeAri, but she laughed it off. She started insulting her and was laughing at the prospect of me loving her.”

Taehyung stayed quiet as Jungkook wiped his tears, relieved to see that his tears were lessening. Seeing Jungkook so pitiful was not a sight that Taehyung wanted to get used to.

“I angrily confessed that I slept with RaeAri because I love her, and once the words came out of my mouth, Soomin still didn’t believe me. She tried to text you to confirm what I said, but… I told her that we hadn’t gotten around to telling you. I gave her all the ammo she needed to ruin us, and Ari is super upset with me over it.”

Taehyung stayed silent as Jungkook swallowed, running both hands through his hair and slightly pulling at the roots, “When I drove to see Ari at work to apologize for hurting her with the whole Soomin situation, she told me that she was ready to tell you about us. I was unsure, but she told me that she thought you would be happy for us once you got used to seeing us together… She was finally ready to tell you and I just had to fuck everything up for her.”

Jungkook could tell that Taehyung’s anger wasn’t completely gone, but his eyes were mostly soft. He seemed to be taking all the information very well…

“I-I got a call from you and came straight over without saying anything to Ari about it. She ended up calling me, and I finally had the balls to tell her that I spilled everything to Soomin. I don’t even know how to begin apologizing to her…” Jungkook got a little choked up as he tried to get out his next words.

“I’m literally the worst, but I would do anything to be a better person if it meant Ari stayed by my side. I love her so damn much, Taehyung. I really… really do.”

Taehyung took a deep breath as he felt a chill run throughout his own body. He felt Jungkook’s sincerity in his words, and his guilt started to increase very quickly when he looked at the swelling on Jungkook’s cheek. He swallowed and stood up, holding his hand out to his friend.

“Let’s get some ice on that, man,” Taehyung spoke softly, “And don’t worry. I…”

Taehyung stopped as Jungkook’s hand grabbed onto Taehyung’s.

“I’m sure she won’t stay upset at you for long.”

::

My shift dragged on all day long as I felt myself wanting to pull my hair out. I had ranted to Jimin and Chaeyoung about everything all night, and they mostly stayed quiet while listening. Chaeyoung was obviously very upset over the whole ordeal, even going as far to call both Soomin and Jungkook ‘perfect for each other’.

I know that she didn’t mean it completely, but I couldn’t help but get sick over that thought. Just thinking about the two of them dating made me feel horrible. I might be mad at him, especially since I hadn’t heard from Taehyung all night about the situation, but I hated picturing me without him by my side.

I took several bathroom trips that night to try and calm down my slight panic attacks over how things were going with Jungkook and Taehyung. For all I knew, Jungkook was packing to move out already. I sure as hell wasn’t ready for that.

“If you haven’t heard from them, then maybe everything is okay,” Chaeyoung proposed as the three of us walked out to our cars.

“Especially since you haven’t gotten anymore apology texts from Jungkook. Things seem like they’re all okay,” Jimin nodded as I took a deep breath and wrapped my arms around myself.

“I hope to God that you’re both right.” I nodded, unlocking my car once we got close enough, “I’m getting out of here. Sorry to leave so quickly.”

“Get outta here, Ari,” Chaeyoung laughed and waved me off, “Text me to tell me how it goes! Otherwise I’ll worry for you until I work with you again!”

I smiled and let a soft laugh out despite all the dread in my stomach, “Alright. I’ll keep you updated.”

We all parted ways as I finally stepped into my car, resting my forehead on the steering wheel and closing my eyes. I wasn’t ready to go home… I was dying to call Jungkook, but I was still really pissed at him for this. It’s all his fault that any of this drama happened today…

I didn’t even know if I was going to stay mad at him when I get home, but judging from how much I miss him, I’ll probably forgive him the second our eyes meet again.

That man has me wrapped around his finger.

…

I took a deep breath as I walked up to the door of the apartment. The hallway was deafeningly silent as I swallowed, pulling my hair out of its increasingly uncomfortable ponytail. I sighed in relief at the feeling of my hair falling lose, only to come back to the reality of the stress in front of me.

Without another moment's hesitation, I pushed my key into the lock of the door, unlocking it as quietly as possible.

There was no way that they weren’t waiting for me to come home since they knew what time I got off today, but I tried to be discrete anyway.

I pushed the door open slowly, and as I expected, Jungkook was sitting on the couch. The confusing part was that Taehyung was nowhere to be seen. I felt confusion fill my features as Jungkook’s eyes were quick to lock onto mine. He stood up and started walking over to me as I let the door shut behind me. I looked to the dining table, and Taehyung wasn’t there, either.

“Ari,” Jungkook whispered as I looked back over at him. The softness in his voice melted my heart as I stood right in front of him. I noticed some swelling in his face as I looked at his cheek. He had a little bit of a black eye, but most of the swelling was on his right cheekbone.

So Taehyung was definitely here at one point…

“I’m so damn sorry,” Jungkook spoke again, his voice still soft and somber. I felt my heart breaking as I sighed and quickly gave in to him. Why’d he have to look so pitiful? He’s never looked so broken in the time I’ve known him. I don’t think he even looked this sad when Jennie broke up with him in high school, but then again, I hardly knew him back then.

“It’s okay, Jungkook,” I nodded calmly as Jungkook sighed and leaned his forehead against mine. I felt my breath being knocked out of me as I looked up at him, seeing his eyes close as he leaned into me. His arms slowly trailed around my waist as I moved my hands to his shoulders.

I was about to open my mouth to ask about Taehyung, but my voice stopped in my throat as I saw a tear fall from Jungkook’s eyes. Panic immediately filled me as I started over analyzing things. Was he saying goodbye to me? Was Taehyung kicking him out?

Was it over between us?

I reached up and wiped his tears as my own started building up. I felt my hands start to shake from anxiety of the unknown, and Jungkook’s tears were making me even more paranoid.

“What’s wrong? It’s okay, I forgive you Jungkook. You have nothing to c-cry for,” I tried to stay calm, but I wasn’t doing a very good job. I couldn’t let go of him. Just the thought of never seeing him again terrified me.

It was scary enough to know that the summer was eventually going to end, but to think that it might end with me never seeing Jungkook again…? I felt nauseous over it.

“I-I just… I wanted everything to go well with Taehyung… I wanted the two of us to tell him together…” he spoke, keeping his eyes closed as he squeezed me to him.

“W-Well, where is Taehyung?” I asked, finally having the courage to ask the question that I wanted to ask the second I walked in.

Jungkook stayed silent as I felt my worries grow more and more. Why wasn’t he answering me?! It was killing me!

“I love you, Jungkook,” I whispered, trying to get him to open his eyes. I placed his face in my hands, careful to not irritate the bruise on his cheek, “Please, tell me where Taehyung is. If there’s anything that I need to fix, I’ll fix it, okay? I’ll fix it, so please stop crying, Kookie…”

He took a deep breath at my words, finally opening his eyes to look at me. I moved my hands to his shoulders as I violently grabbed at the material. He swallowed and his eyes left mine to trail down the hallway. I let my eyes follow his as I spotted a very familiar figure in the hall.

“Taehyung’s here.”

Jungkook allowed me to pull away from him as I stood still, looking in the eyes of my brother. He looked very calm, but also very worried. I took a deep breath and walked down the hallway towards him. He moved in my direction as well, stopping right in front of me.

“Tae,” I furrowed my eyebrows, slowly hating the look he was giving me. It made me nervous and feel so pitiful standing next to him. He was keeping me on edge with his silence as I took a deep breath to keep calm.

“I-I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you, myself. I really wanted to be the one to tell you…” I started off my apology as I noticed the smallest, slightest smile appear on his face. I swallowed, trying not to get any hopes up about how this was going to go.

“I… you have no idea how badly I wish this didn’t happen between the two of you,” Taehyung spoke honestly, but I didn’t flinch. In a way, I didn’t completely disagree with him. Life would have been so much less complicated if I had fallen for Hoseok. He could have given me the relationship that I thought I always wanted.

But that didn’t happen, and I wouldn’t change it for all the money in the world. I love the unpredictability of Jungkook and his actions. I love his stupid snarky comments that he obviously doesn’t mean, and I love the way he riles me up. I love how in the span of just a couple weeks, I was able to take some closed off jerk like Jungkook and open him up. I was able to look deep inside who he really is. I love him, and I don’t want to picture my life with anyone else.

I wanted Taehyung to understand just how hard I’ve fallen for Jungkook. Not asshole Jungkook, but real and raw Jungkook.

“But,” Taehyung’s voice cut off my thoughts as I put my focus back on him, “I’ve never seen you look so… happy, Ari… disregarding today, of course. Even if I wanted to, I could never rip you two apart.”

I felt my eyes widen as my brain slowly processed the true weight of his words. He was going to accept this? He’s not going to force Jungkook out of my life?

“I don’t know how I’m going to handle this relationship, honestly. If you two could keep the lovey dovey PDA out of my sight for a while, I would really appreciate-”

He cut himself off as I jumped on him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and hugging him tight against me. I felt tears of relief falling into the material of his shirt as he wrapped his arms around me to return the hug.

“I love you, Tae,” I laughed through the tears as he buried his nose in my hair.

“I love you, too, Ari.”

The silence was comfortable as I just stayed in Taehyung’s arms for a little while longer. I never imagined that Taehyung would accept the two of us so quickly. I thought we’d have to go through weeks of an angry Taehyung who tried to avoid us at all costs. I assumed that he would attempt splitting the two of us apart before we grew even more attached to each other.

Taehyung had always been very critical of who he let be around me. He didn’t like any of my male friends in high school, and he made sure that I knew, as well as all my male friends. They didn’t dare come too close to me after being threatened by someone like Taehyung. He was usually a laid back big brother, but he didn’t just sit back and let me date whoever I wanted.

I used to resent him for cock-blocking me for so long. He could be such a terrible brother to me, and I used to swear that I was going to hate him for the rest of our lives over the smallest things.

But the brother I was holding to me was a more relaxed version of his high school self. He’s grown to trust me, and it made me feel like I was finally doing something right in his eyes. His fast acceptance also made me become increasingly curious about what happened when I was at work. Taehyung was obviously furious enough to give Jungkook a harsh punch to the face…

The two of us pulled away as I looked up at my older brother with a soft smile. I wiped my tears away and swallowed, a giggle nearly coming out of my mouth from my next words.

“Wanna play Wii Sports?”

I could sense the confusion from both Taehyung and Jungkook as I spun around to get the Wii ready for us to play. The two guys just stood next to each other and watched me as I looked over at the two of them. I bit back a smile as I turned the TV on, walking over to the couch.

“Wii Sports?” Taehyung sounded so confused as I just smiled and nodded.

“I’m sick of how depressing this room feels. Let’s do something to try and take our minds off of it.”

Jungkook snickered at my justification as he grabbed a controller without another thought, “Alright. I’d love a good distraction.”

Taehyung just continue to watch us carefully as I grabbed the third controller and held it out to him. He looked at it for a couple seconds before a sigh left his mouth and a smile appeared on his face.

“Fine, you got me,” he grabbed the controller as I took a deep breath and looked between the two men. Taehyung was already focused on starting a game of tennis as Jungkook lightly protested, saying that it wouldn’t be fun to play tennis with three people.

“What do you mean it won’t be fun? I’m going to play both and front and back positions and I’m still going to beat you and Ari’s team.”

I watched Jungkook as he rolled his eyes as I felt my heart swell. I could still see his puffy redness from the tears he had just been crying, but his mood had already brightened significantly. I knew that not all of our problems were solved in this situation, but it was nice to know that despite everything, we could all still be comfortable around each other.

“Bring it on, Tae,” I spoke as he glanced my way with a soft smile. I looked away from him and back at the TV as we started the game of tennis. Needless to say, Taehyung won very easily against the two of us.

“I call bullshit,” Jungkook mumbled, sour about losing against a man playing two characters against two real people. How did he manage to blow them out of the water?

“I’m not a tennis pro for no reason,” Taehyung winked to his miffed friend as I bit my lip. If moments like this were what I had to look forward to in the future, everything was going to be okay. Even if they’ll be gone after the summer ends, another summer will come next year. I doubt that Jungkook would refuse to stay with me over the summer again.

“You know,” I spoke out loud in the middle of our bowling match. Taehyung was trying to keep up with Jungkook and I, but he didn’t truly have a chance to win. “I want to go bowling again with everyone. Bowling in real life is fun despite how horribly I suck.”

Both guys laughed as Jungkook nodded. Taehyung turned to me and slightly bounced the couch with excitement. “Sounds like a plan to me.”

I smiled and nodded, pulling my phone out to pull up my calendar. Taehyung zoned out for a minute as it was his turn to bowl. Ouch, he got a spilt that’s nearly impossible to redeem.

I paused from looking at my calendar as my eyes locked onto Jungkook’s. I hadn’t looked his direction too much since earlier when he had broken down and cried. I felt relief wash over me with his smile comforting me from afar. I loved that man too much for my own good…

“I’ll be right back, Taehyung spoke after finishing his frame off, only having hit one of the split pins. I didn’t ask where he was running off to, and Jungkook didn’t, either.

The second he left the room, Jungkook hopped from the smaller couch to sit next to me on the bigger couch. He was sitting where Taehyung was only seconds ago, and I felt myself moving closer to him.

“How’d you do it?” I asked him as he raised his eyebrows. I ran my fingers through his hair to relax him as he sighed and leaned into my touch. He turned his body towards mine, softly guiding me to sit in his lap.

I felt my face heat up at the foreign feeling. I’d never sat in Jungkook’s lap before, but feeling how close we were made me quickly realize how much I loved this feeling.

“I just told him about how much I love you,” Jungkook spoke softly, his breath brushing against my lips. I felt a shiver run through my body as he opened his eyes, staring deep into mine. “Eventually, he realized just how badly I need you in my life.”

I felt my heartbeat increase at his words, and I buried my other hand in his hair. I leaned forward to kiss him, surprised when he pulled back before our lips met. He was quick to lean in to my ear and give it some light kisses.

“You know, we never got to finish what we started at work,” he mumbled as my cheeks heated up, radiating heat from them because of how hot they were.

“Well it’s going to have to wait until Taehyung’s not home,” I spoke as Jungkook growled impatiently.

“The roof is still open for business,” he spoke as he pulled away from my ear to look into my eyes. This man looked like he was ready to devour me in one bite.

I was about to protest, but Jungkook’s lips stopped mine from forming any words. I quickly leaned into the kiss as it quickly turned into a hot and heavy kiss. His tongue waste no time infiltrating my mouth as I lowly mumbled into his mouth. He moved my legs to straddle him as I lightly gasped, feeling his arousal against me. He bit his lip and rolled his hips into mine as I leaned my forehead against his.

“God, why are you so irresistible?” I slightly glare, but it’s half hearted. “You’re too horny for your own good. No wonder you used to sleep around with girls all the time. You can’t keep your dick in your pants.”

Jungkook glared and grinded against me again as I found myself moaning into his ear.

“You wanna know where I want my dick to be?” he asked as I felt my face turn a permanent shade of red. He grabbed my chin and moved my face to be in front of his. His eyes were already undressing me as I let out a slight laugh. I moved against him as his face twisted in a way I wanted to see for the rest of my life.

“Just kiss me before Taehyung comes back, Kook.”

His hot mouth engulfed mine as he moved his hands to grab my ass and grind me against him. I sighed against his lips before going back in for another passionate kiss. His scent was swallowing me whole as I gave my every sense to focus on him. I memorized every touch, every kiss, and every moan as I pulled at Jungkook’s dark locks.

“I love you,” I moaned into his ear as his breathing became unsteady. His hands were under my shirt and cupping my breast over my bra when I said it, and his darkened eyes were quick to soften.

“I love you, too,” he snickered before slipping his hand behind my back. I felt my eyes widen as he started to attempt unhooking my bra. I opened my mouth to scold him when Jungkook and I both jumped at the sound of a door opening. We quickly scrambled away from each other as I threw Jungkook a blanket to hide his very obvious erection.

“You two didn’t bowl without me?” Taehyung asked as he walked into the room with a raised eyebrow. I tried to not look as embarrassed as I felt, but Taehyung was too intuitive for our own good. He studied me carefully before his face twisted in disgust.

“I was gone for less than five minutes! You guys are gross,” he scrunched his nose up as I just let a soft smile appear on my face.

I could definitely get used to life being like this.

::

A/N: I hope that this chapter wasn’t disappointing! For some reason I’m not as proud of it as I am other parts? Thanks for reading! I’m off to bed now! ^^;

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

[xfilescat]

carl jung is dead (steve harrington x henderson!reader)

word count: 5.2k

warnings: mentions of a death, language

preview: “‘Just another boy’ wouldn’t put his life on the line for a couple of people he barely knew. ‘Just another boy’ wouldn’t tell your little brother his hair-care secret when he thought you were out of earshot just to make the kid smile. ‘Just another boy’ wouldn’t be so fun to talk to, so easy to connect with. Steve couldn’t be explained with three vague little words like that, and you felt guilty for ever thinking that he could.”

A/N: hey guys!! so if anybody read my last author’s note, you’ll know that i’d written and scrapped a bunch of full length fics a while back because i’m such an overly self-critical perfectionist lmao. this is one of those stories that i threw out, but then i kept thinking about it so i decided to say screw it! i’m just gonna post it. so, i hope u enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it! quick disclaimer: don’t judge me about my knowledge of psychology & carl jung (or lack thereof). i have taken ONE psych course through my high school and i am not claiming to be an expert in any way. if you know psych, pls ignore my ignorance :)

“Jung died on June 6th, 1961 in Küsnacht, Switzerland.”

As you reread that sentence in your Psychology textbook for the third time, your stomach dropped and you were overcome by dread and grief. “Oh, fuck,” you said before slapping a hand over your mouth. You were still on the phone with the office of international admissions at the University of Basel. “I’m sorry, I have to go,” you squeaked before scrambling to set the handset back onto the receiver. The subsequent silence in your bedroom was sickening. Carl Jung was dead. What the hell were you going to do?

You felt lightheaded and disconnected from your body, like you were in freefall. It was as if the prospect of speaking with the founder of analytical psychology was the only thing you had to hold on to. In fact, you were just about ready to run to the hall closet and grab Dustin’s old Ouija board—god, now you’d really lost your mind—when a knock on the window above your bed made you jump out of your skin.

When you caught your breath, you stood up from your bedroom floor on unsteady legs and climbed onto the mattress to whip open the curtains. You didn’t think anything could have surprised you anymore. Seeing Steve outside your window at three in the morning, however, was definitely jarring.

You weren’t the type of person to judge people you’d never met, so you never really had an opinion about Steve Harrington. God knows your friend Amy did. She’d always run with the popular crowd and she and Steve had had a fling in tenth grade. It didn’t last long—she never even got the chance to introduce him to you—and as a result, you’d spent days listening to her curse his name when he called things off. However, you knew Amy had a flair for the dramatic and probably relished every minute of being angry. Plus, she was back with her ex Jake within a week of her and Steve’s breakup. So, while she swore up and down that Steve was trouble, you still saw him as just another boy.

At least, you did until you met him yesterday. “Just another boy” wouldn’t put his life on the line for a couple of people he barely knew. “Just another boy” wouldn’t tell your little brother his hair-care secret when he thought you were out of earshot just to make the kid smile. “Just another boy” wouldn’t be so fun to talk to, so easy to connect with. Steve couldn’t be explained with three vague little words like that, and you felt guilty for ever thinking that he could.

You slid open the glass and the icy November breeze immediately rushed in. You wrapped your arms tightly around yourself. “Um, hi, Steve,” you said, bemused. “What are you doing here?”

He looked sheepish. “Hey, Y/N. I’m really sorry, I thought this was Dustin’s room.”

Shaking your head, you pointed to your left. “One window down. Why’re you looking for Dustin?”

“No reason,” he responded with a shrug. “I was in the neighborhood.”

“At three in the morning?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Ah. I don’t blame you.”

“Yeah. So, I figured I’d come check on him and make sure he’s okay.”

“Oh, you’re so sweet,” you said, and Steve grinned sort of shyly. You couldn’t really figure this boy out: one minute he was fearlessly taking on the demodogs armed with nothing but his bat and his bravado, and the next he was nearly blushing simply because you called him sweet. Smiling to yourself, you turned to look at the left wall of your bedroom; Dustin was just on the other side. “Maybe you should come in and knock on his door instead of his window.” You glanced back at Steve. “Save the kid from the heart attack you almost gave me.”

He smirked. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine! Come on in.” You pushed the window open further and jumped back down to the floor. He hoisted himself up and over the windowsill, landing in a heap on your bed. You giggled. “Need a hand?” He shook his head. “I’m good,” he grunted as he righted himself and stood up triumphantly.

“Impressive,” you said, crossing your arms. “Especially since you look like hell. How are you feeling?” His face was bruised badly. You were still upset with him for getting in that stupid fight, especially since he pushed you out of the way before you could punch Billy first.

He shrugged before leaning down to pick up a pillow that he knocked off your bed. “I’ve been better, but I’ll live. Least I didn’t get a needle to the neck.”

You cringed. “Good point.”

“Besides, this,” he added, gesturing vaguely to his face, “makes me look dangerous, and ladies love that, right?”

“Oh, for sure,” you said playfully. “I’m swooning right now.”

He breathed a laugh as he looked around. “Nice room.”

“Oh, thanks,” you replied, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. It was undoubtedly weird having Steve in your bedroom, especially since it was the middle of the night, you were in your pajamas, and he was the first boy to ever set foot in it. You half-wished you’d thought to cover up the embarrassing pictures of you and your friends on your dresser or the admittedly cringeworthy cat poster on your closet door. He didn’t seem to be judging you, though, and you wouldn’t have expected him to. Not after tonight.

“Were you just doing homework?” You followed his gaze to the floor by your desk, where your Psychology textbook sat surrounded by a mess of loose paper and notebooks.

You pressed your lips together. “Not exactly.”

He gave you a pointed look. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to for a while.” You brushed past him and climbed back onto the bed to shut the window.

You’d never really had trouble sleeping before, but that night was different: you had learned that not only was there a hellish nightmare dimension filled with an army of monsters right under everyone’s feet, but your little brother had known about it for an entire year. Surreal didn’t even begin to describe it. Batshit crazy came a bit closer.

Steve sighed. You could feel his eyes on you. “I know this is a stupid question, but how are you doing?”

You paused with your hands on top of the open window. For some reason, you felt like you could trust him like a close friend even though you had just spoken for what was technically the first time one day ago—unless you count that time he borrowed a pencil from you in eleventh grade. “Carl Jung is dead,” you blurted out of nowhere before slamming the window closed. It rattled in its frame.

“Wait, what? Who?”

Taking a deep breath of the residual wintry air from outside, you turned to face Steve. His face was scrunched up in confusion. “Carl Jung,” you repeated.

He narrowed his eyes. “Carl Jung, isn’t… isn’t that the kid that got arrested in the middle of lunch last year?”

You laughed, but it came out strangled. “No, that was Charlie Young. Y-O-U-N-G Young. I’m talking about Carl J-U-N-G Jung.”

He nodded slowly. “Got it. Who’s that?”

“A famous Swiss psychiatrist.”

“Did you—did you know him personally?”

You shook your head. “No, no, no. I just wanted to talk to him.” You sat down and leaned back against your headboard, eyes trained on your lap.

Steve hesitated for a moment before perching politely at the end of your mattress. “About what happened tonight?” His voice was gentle.

You bit your lip, tracing the outline of one of the flowers on your bedspread with your finger. “No. Well, sorta. It’s… it’s a really long story and it’s not going to make any sense.” You weren’t exaggerating in the slightest—you knew that what you were about to tell him was going to sound completely ridiculous.

“I’ve got time,” he said. You met his eyes and he half-smiled before kicking off his sneakers and shifting into a more casual cross-legged position. Something about seeing him there at the foot of your bed with such an earnest look on his face made your stomach flutter and your heart rate speed up for a moment.

“Alright,” you mumbled, quickly looking back down. You collected yourself before launching into your explanation, sidestepping that flustered feeling. “After you dropped me and Dustin off, I got into bed and I tried to go to sleep, but obviously I couldn’t. I was just lying here in the dark, and I didn’t know what to do, so I started thinking about school because maybe that would bore me to sleep. It didn’t, though, because I remembered this one day in Psychology when Mrs. Anderton told us about this guy named Carl Jung who came up with this thing called analytical psychology and there’s this theory he put forth about something he called the Collective Unconscious. The Collective Unconscious,” you paused briefly to reach down and grab your open textbook off the floor, “‘refers to structures of the unconscious mind which are shared among beings of the same species.’” You shut the book and absently tossed it off to your side. “I remembered that and I just thought, oh my god. It’s just like what happened with Will and the demodogs and the Mind-Flayer thing. I mean, I know it’s not exactly the same, but it’s weirdly similar, right?”

All of that came out in the span of about 30 seconds, and when you looked at Steve, he appeared to be a little stunned. “Wow,” he said quietly.

“I know. And Mrs. A told us that even though psychologists liked Jung’s ideas, parts of the general public thought he’d lost his mind. They called him crazy. And I—I know it’s stupid, but I just felt so bad, you know?” Your voice broke slightly on the word bad and Steve’s eyes roamed your face as if he was searching for something. “This poor guy, I thought. I wanted him to know that he wasn’t crazy. Obviously, I wasn’t going to tell him everything that happened, but I needed him to know that he was right. So, I went downstairs and I found every phone book in the house and I brought them all up here and I called every single person with the last name Jung that I could find. I know it makes no sense but I thought I could find, like, a family member or something, because maybe they could help me find him or at least pass the message along.”

Steve raised his eyebrows. “You did?” You nodded, pointing at the three phone books on the floor by your door. He glanced over at them before turning back to you, his eyes wide. “How many Jungs are there?”

You sighed. “Oddly enough, there are a lot more than you’d think. Especially since I used one phone book from this area, one from Muncie, and one from Indianapolis.” For once, you’d been grateful for all the times you’ve moved around this state.

“Geez,” he exhaled. “Did you find anyone related to this Carl guy?”

“Nope. I either got no answer or I got cursed out for calling so late.”

“Man, I’m sorry,” he said gently. For a second, he looked like he was going to say something else, but then confusion clouded his expression again. “Wait, wait, wait. Why’d you keep calling if this guy’s dead?”

You groaned. “At that point, I didn’t know he was.

There’s more to the story.”

“Oh, okay, sorry. Keep going.”

“Okay. Anyway, after a while, I decided to call the college he went to, ’cause I figured if anyone knew where to find him, it’d be them. So I looked that up in my textbook and then I called the operator and asked him to connect me to the University of Basel in Basel, Switzerland.”

Steve blinked. “Wow, you’re… resourceful.”

You smiled sardonically. “Guess that’s one word for it.” You would’ve sooner described yourself as senseless, or maybe stupid.

“I’m serious,” he said firmly. “Did you get through?”

“Yep. And—”

“Really? They’ve got people working there this late at night?”

“It’s not night there,” you said with a small smile. “It’s a different time zone.”

“Oh. Right.”

“Mhm. And I was halfway through introducing myself to the person who handles international calls when I read the part of my book that says Carl Jung died in 1961, meaning I’d spent hours searching for someone who’s been dead for 23 years. I am such an idiot.” You dropped your head into your hands, laughing even though there were tears stinging the corners of your eyes. “I’m pretty sure that admissions officer heard me say ‘fuck,’ too, which is really embarrassing. Now I can never apply to that school.”

Steve chuckled. You lifted your head up, drying your eyes with your sleeve, and flashed him a thin smile. “You must think I’m insane.”

He shook his head. “I don’t. You’re not insane.”

“Yes, I am.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I called five strangers and a Swiss university at an ungodly hour just because I wanted to talk to a dead guy,” you deadpanned. “About something I’m not even allowed to talk about.”

He pursed his lips. “Okay, I’ll give you all that.” You opened your mouth to say you told him so, but he held up a hand. “But just because you did something crazy doesn’t mean you’re crazy.”

“Easy for you to say,” you retorted as you spun around and flopped down onto your back, stretching out your legs and resting your feet on top of the headboard. “You’re completely fine.” You still couldn’t fathom how he and the kids had handled everything so well, at least on the surface.

Steve was quiet for a minute. In the absence of conversation, intense thoughts began flashing in and out of your head: you remembered how safe you’d felt in Steve’s arms when you hugged him goodbye after he drove you and Dustin home; you remembered standing protectively in front of Dustin, Max, and Lucas in the back of the bus in the junkyard; you remembered finding out about Carl Jung. Your brain seemed to have broken the night down into stand-alone moments now that you had time to look back, like when you’re watching out the window of a moving car and every object flies by in a blur unless you really fix your eyes on it.

It was a little overwhelming. Eager for a distraction, you stared up at the little plastic glow-in-the-dark stars arranged into the shapes of a few constellations on your ceiling. You and Dustin had taped them up there about a week after you moved to Hawkins because your mom had just gotten your brother a book about astronomy and your favorite song was Bowie’s “Starman.” It took you guys hours to finish. You must’ve gone through half a roll of tape and at least a hundred stars, but you both knew it was all worth it. You’d just located Ursa Major when the bed dipped slightly to your right as Steve lay down on his back, too, facing the opposite direction. “Oh, hey, I like those stars,” he commented as he shifted around to get comfortable. His shoulder ended up just barely touching yours.

“Me, too,” you said softly as your stomach filled with butterflies once more. Neither of you spoke for a little while. All you could hear was the sound of his breathing, and you tried to sync yours up to it as your eyes traced the heavens on your ceiling. There was Orion. Breathe in. There was Cassiopeia. Breathe out.

“Do you wanna know,” Steve broke the peaceful silence, “what crazy thing I did after I found out about all this?”

“Yes. Tell me.”

As you, Steve, and Dustin had walked along the train tracks yesterday, they had filled you in on everything they knew about what had happened in November ’83. You already knew they’d visited Will in the hospital one night because you and your mother had gone to pick Dustin up. You knew Dustin had come home and immediately crashed on the living room couch. And while a very confused you had watched a visibly exhausted Steve—who you only knew then as Amy’s ex who was always goofing off with Tommy H behind you in English—drag himself into his BMW as your mom drove out of the hospital parking lot, you didn’t know what had happened with him afterward.

“I went to my grandma’s house.”

You turned to look at him, unsure of whether or not you’d heard him right. His profile was backlit by the lamp on your desk across the room and he was straight-faced. “That’s not even close to crazy, Steve.”

He locked eyes with you. “She lives an hour north of Chicago, and I drove straight there without stopping. It took me like four hours.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Oh. Wow.”

He nodded, and you both looked up again before he continued. “That night last year, after I left the hospital, I drove right past the turn I’d usually take to get home. I still don’t know exactly why I did it. I just got on the interstate and I was about an hour outside of town when I decided I was going to go to my grandma’s house. She always loves it when me and my parents visit, so I knew she wouldn’t mind. Plus, she really cares about me, always making sure I’ve eaten enough or that school’s going well and stuff.”

You grinned. “She sounds really great.”

“Yeah, she’s the best.”

“You didn’t tell your parents that you were going?”

“No.” There was a barely perceptible edge to his tone. “When I got there, I called them and told them where I was and they said I was gonna be grounded when I got home, but by some miracle they didn’t make me come back right away. I stayed all day Sunday and drove back that night.” Steve paused for a moment, and you spotted Ursa Minor, Pisces, and Capricorn during the silence. “I wish I could’ve stayed longer, though,” he finally said, his voice softer than before. “So much shit happened in those couple days and I was so messed up. I guess I wanted to pretend everything was okay for a little while, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to do that here.”

You looked at him again. He wasn’t so straight-faced anymore; he looked wistful and melancholic. You got the strongest urge to reach out and touch him, but he turned onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow before you could—probably saving you from doing another crazy thing that night. He forced a lopsided smile. “So, there you go. You’re not the only one who’s done something ridiculous.”

There was a pang in your chest. “That’s not ridiculous,” you murmured.

“You don’t think so?”

Taking your feet off the headboard and rolling onto your side as well, you mirrored his pose. “Not at all. If I were you, I would’ve done the exact same thing.”

That seemed to comfort him. He smiled reflectively. “You should’ve seen her face when I showed up on her doorstep at six in the morning all beat up. She totally flipped shit. Told me that the next time I got into a fight, I should call her for backup,” he laughed. “And she really gave my dad an earful on the phone for not keeping tabs on me. Called him ‘young man’ and everything.”

“Wow, what a pistol. We could’ve used her help tonight.”

“I pity the demodog who goes head to head with her.”

You giggled, and something flickered in Steve’s eyes before he spoke again. “You know, she’d really like you.”

You tilted your head to the side. “Me? Why?”

“Well, for one thing, you’re nice. Way nicer than any of my other friends. She’s only ever met Tommy and Carol, and they’re the worst. They probably would’ve called me a pussy if I told them this story.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” you responded before what he said fully registered with you. “Wait, ‘other friends’? We’re friends?”

You weren’t sure why you sounded so astonished, because there was really no evidence to suggest that you and Steve weren’t friends. He was lying on your bed, you were having a deep conversation, and you had saved a bunch of lives together a few hours before—including each other’s. That was all textbook friendship stuff. You guessed it had just shocked you to learn that he felt that way. Or maybe it was because he had said it so casually, like there wasn’t any need to emphasize it, like it was undeniable.

Steve looked surprised. “Of course we are. Do you not want to be?”

“Oh, no, I do! I just didn’t realize we were. I mean, we’ve never really spoken before.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “Yeah, we have.”

“We have?”

“I asked you for a pencil in English last year.”

You burst out laughing, taken aback. “You remember that?”

He smirked. “Only ’cause of what you said when I asked you.”

“What’d I say?”

“You said, ‘Yes, but if I don’t get it back, I’m reporting it stolen.’”

“I so didn’t say that.”

“You so did. And by the way, I kept the pencil just to see what you’d do, and you didn’t even notice. You’re all talk, Y/N.”

Your jaw dropped. “Excuse me? I am not! In fact, tomorrow morning, I’m telling Chief Hopper.”

He grinned. “Good idea. I’m sure he takes cases of grand theft pencil very seriously.”

You rolled your eyes and fought back a smile. “So, what’s the other thing?”

“Huh?”

“You said, ‘for one thing, you’re nice.’ What’s the other thing?”

“Oh, yeah. Actually, there are two more things. One is that you’re a badass.”

You scoffed. “No way in hell am I a badass.”

His jaw dropped. “Are you kidding? You personally took down at least three of those monsters when we got off the bus, and I could tell that you were going to hit Hargrove when he grabbed Lucas before I beat you to it.”

“Well, someone had to save all of your asses,” you teased. “I was just helping out because you obviously needed it.”

He laughed. “Hey, I just thought of a fourth thing: you’re humble.”

“Very funny,” you said dryly. “Now seriously, what’s the third thing?”

“Alright, alright. The third thing is that you listen to me. Like, no matter what we’re talking about.

Steve said that like it was a novelty. You wished he was kidding, but you saw nothing but sincerity in his eyes. “Well, of course I do,” you said firmly. “Why wouldn’t I?”

He looked down. “I don’t know, it’s just—I don’t know. Remember when we were at the Byers’ place and Mrs. Byers, the Chief, Mike, and Jonathan were outside talking to Will and the rest of us were waiting around inside? You and I were in the living room.” He paused to make sure you were on the same page. You nodded, and he kept going. “You asked me why I was so good with that bat, and I told you that story about how I always wanted to play baseball, not basketball.” That had been one of those stand-alone moments from earlier: you remembered the way his lips had twisted around the words when he told you his dad wanted him to play the same sport he did in high school, so baseball wasn’t an option. “It wasn’t even a good story. It wasn’t important at all. But you listened the whole time and it was—it was just really sweet. You’re really sweet.”

Well, now you knew why Steve got so bashful earlier when you called him sweet, because when he said the same to you, you felt yourself blush uncontrollably. “Oh, please,” you said, flipping over onto your back again. “What are friends for?”

He grinned at you before laying back down, too. Once more, a peaceful silence ensued. Talking to him felt effortless and natural, but there was something special about the way you two were able to sit in silence. It was unlike you to be so comfortable with the quiet, not to feel the need to fill it with words. But lying there under the stars with Steve, communicating only through the synchronization of your breathing, you felt right as rain. Come to think of it, you’d felt that way since he’d gotten there. The inexplicable tranquility you felt when you were with him was probably what had been keeping you sane despite all of the chaos you’d found yourself caught up in.

Whether it was standing back to back in the junkyard, sharing exasperated looks as you tried to keep the kids in line, or that hug outside his car that lasted a beat longer than it probably should’ve, it was being with Steve that made things feel alright even when they definitely weren’t. Maybe that was why he was at the center of nearly every single one of those stand-alone moments you had discovered.

Steve sat up right after you came to that realization, as if the universe was telling you you were right. “Y/N. I never checked on Dustin, did I?”

You pulled yourself upright too, spinning to face him. “Oh geez, that’s right. No, you didn’t.”

“Guess I got distracted,” he said quietly, his eyes on you.

“Me, too. Let’s, uh, let’s go check on him,” you said quickly, scooting off the bed. Steve followed suit. You opened your bedroom door very slowly, trying desperately to prevent it from making any noise. If your mom woke up to find you with a boy in the house, you’d have a lot more to worry about than just the way Steve had been looking at you a moment ago.

Unfortunately, the door squeaked loudly as it opened and you cursed under your breath. Steve put his hand on your shoulder before you could make your way outside. “How bad will your mom freak out if she finds me here?” He was a comically terrible whisperer. You craned your neck to meet his eyes. “Bad enough that you should definitely shut up.” He nodded once, releasing your shoulder. You tiptoed out into the hallway and led him to the first door down from yours.

It wasn’t completely closed, so you carefully slid it open and peered inside. Dustin’s light was on but he was passed out on his bed (still fully dressed, mind you, with his walkie-talkie in his hand). Steve snorted, and you stifled a giggle as happiness bubbled up inside you. You were so glad your brother was able to sleep, especially since you decidedly weren’t. He deserved it after all he had been through. You made a mental note to talk to him about everything that had happened yesterday whenever he woke up. In the meantime, you crossed the room and covered him over with a blanket, setting his walkie-talkie onto his nightstand.

When you turned to leave, you noticed Steve watching you with a thoughtful smile. You narrowed your eyes. “What?”

“Nothing,” he replied, but his tone let you know that it wasn’t.

“Okay,” you whispered, stifling a grin. “Let’s go.”

You made it back to your room without any issue and Steve closed your door gently. “I should probably get going,” he said, making his way back over to your bed to put his shoes on. “We both need to get some rest.”

“You’re right,” you replied, taking a seat next to him. As much as you would’ve liked him to stay, you were starting to get drowsy. “Thank you, by the way.”

He looked at you sideways. “For what?”

“I didn’t get the urge to call any dead psychiatrists the whole time you were here, and that was nice.”

He chuckled, leaning down to tie his shoelaces. “Well, I didn’t get the urge to drive to Illinois the whole time I was here, so I guess we’re even.”

“That’s good,” you laughed. “By the way, I’m really glad we’re friends.” You added that last part hastily, tripping over the words.

He looked up from his shoes and met your eyes. “So am I.” With that, he seamlessly pulled you into a hug.

Earlier, after he had driven you home, you’d been planning to just say goodnight and go inside. Instead, you said nothing and stayed rooted in place, watching as Steve slung his arm around Dustin’s shoulder, told him to get some sleep, and sent him inside. He then fixed his eyes on you and something foreign came over you. You felt impassioned and almost feverish. You took a step forward and threw your arms around Steve before you even realized what you were doing.

Initially, he had stiffened out of surprise. But then you’d felt his arms wrap around you and he pulled you almost uncomfortably close. “Goodnight,” you murmured against his shoulder. He held you there for a moment before leaning back, letting his hands linger on your waist. “Goodnight.”

This time was different. It was far less desperate, far less intense. Nonetheless, you found solace in Steve’s arms and you sunk into his touch as far as your side-by-side position would allow. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said softly, running his hands up and down your back.

“I’ll answer,” you responded. “If, of course, my mom hasn’t cut my phone line for calling Switzerland.”

His hands ghosted over your arms as he pulled away, sending a shiver down your spine. “Then I’ll just have to come over again,” he said as he stood up and opened up your window, pausing to shoot a grin over his shoulder.

You chuckled, watching as he climbed outside with surprising grace. “Goodnight, Steve.”

“Night, Y/N.”

You moved to shut the window, but Steve stopped you. “Wait.”

“What?”

“I lied before. I didn’t just come here to check on Dustin. I came to check on you, too.”

“Oh,” you said, feeling heat rush to your cheeks. “You did?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, thanks. You’re sweet.”

He grinned. “Any time.”

Later on, before you drifted off to sleep, you theorized that adrenaline could act like an emotional novocaine. You’d spent the entire day and night on high, fearing for the safety of yourself and the ragtag group you had suddenly joined, and thus you’d been a bit too preoccupied to really analyze the way your heart beat faster whenever Steve looked at you. But now, safe and sound and free of fight-or-flight, it was tangible and unavoidable. The poetic side of you wanted to call it the beautiful beginning of something. The realistic side of you wanted to call the poet sappy, and believed that this was just another crush. Just another crush on just another boy.

[percywinchester27]

Tic Tac Toe (Part-13)

Word count: 4.9k-ish

Pairing: Sam X Reader

Warnings: Angst, Feels, Fluff! 

Series Summary: The reader shifts into a new city after being offered a dream job by a big firm. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect after an ugly break-up with a douche-bag Ex. But things turn out not as dreamy as she’d want them to be and the only thing that keeps her smiling is a totally coincidental game of Tic Tac Toe.

A/N: Okay I LOVE this chapter. For so many reasons!! I hope you guys do too :)

Please leave some feedback? It’s what keeps me going. LOVE Y’all!

Beta: The forever awesome @sdavid09 and my darling @vougebandit. You guys rock!!

Catch up: Part 1, Tic Tac Toe Masterlist

As you closed your eyes, scooting as close as possible to Sam without touching him in that tiny bed, you vowed that tomorrow, you'd make it up to him, because he was worth so much more than the trivial accusations. He was the best and you promised yourself that you'd do everything to show him exactly that...

Reader's POV:

You opened your eyes, feeling the chill settle in every part of your body. The room was light, so you guessed it was morning already, but it wasn't light enough to be too late. How you wished that you had woken up like yesterday, innocently nestled in Sam's arms, but he was still sleeping ramrod straight on his back, away from you. The only contact was where your hand rested on his stomach as you slept on your side facing him.

His face didn't look as serene as you'd come to expect, but the creases on his forehead weren't too pronounced either. They were sublime and it made you feel horrible. The corners of your eyes pricked and you gulped, willing yourself to be stronger. This was your screw up so you didn't get to play the victim here.

Carefully, you scooted closer to Sam on the ridiculously small bed. He'd had to sleep on the extreme edge to achieve the feat of not touching you at all. Was he that upset? Was he that mad? It made you hesitate, but then you made up your mind and pushed your hand farther, wrapping it around his waist and snuggling close to him.

Sam stilled underneath you, and you immediately closed your eyes, groaning sleepily.

You could feel Sam draw in a deep breath, before his hand settle over your head, hesitantly. It lingered there for a fraction of a second and then he removed it. You could hear his small sigh.

"Is there any chance you'd consider forgiving me?" You asked in a small voice.

Sam gently disentangled his torso from your limbs, and propped himself up on his elbows. "Y/N?"

Timidly, you peeked up at him. His eyes were confused but clear like the morning sky. There was no anger or resentment there.

"Why would I be angry with you?"

"Because of last night?" You looked down. It would have been better if Sam was angry, because you couldn't offer an explanation when he wasn't asking for one.

"You mean for pretending to be asleep when I came in, and then walking out on me in the dead of the night?"

"Yes that." You hung your head.

Sam put a finger underneath your chin and lifted it up. You looked up to see that he was smiling a small smile. You launched into an explanation still.

"I just… I am so sorry…"

"Shhhh…." He put a finger to your lips. "Why are you saying sorry?"

"Because," you started slowly, "Because I think I hurt you."

"No you did not," Sam said firmly. "Last night, I asked you to wait up for me, and then when I figured out that you were pretending to sleep, and later when you walked out, I was afraid that maybe I pushed you too soon."

Oh god! Sam was making this about himself, when it wasn't.

He continued. "I know it's been just a week, and you're right, it is too soon. I should have realized that you must still be not ready… after what happened with your Ex."

You simply stared at him. All that time you'd spent worrying that Sam would be angry with you, he'd been beating himself up and feeling guilty about something that had nothing to do with yesterday. But like hell you were going to tell him the truth. It was better to let him feel guilty about this than telling him what happened last evening. You didn't want to cause a fight between Sam and John.

"Why didn't you talk to me last night? Why didn't you stop me from going away?" You asked.

"I-I wanted to. But I was scared that if I stopped you, I'd just push you further away," he said, running his fingers through his hair.

"No, Sam!" You said finally, not able to keep it in. "It's not you. You can never push me, you are not that person. I just wasn't in a good space and I didn't want to drag you with me. I was so scared that I'd hurt you in the process."

You expected Sam to refute your apology, but he seemed deep in thought.

"I thought you had decided to go sleep in the guest room actually, and I couldn't sleep so I took a walk downstairs to the pier, to clear my head, and I saw you there, sitting with Dean."

You stilled. "What?"

"Yeah," he said. "The two of you were talking, so I turned and walked back up. Put out clothes for you and then went to sleep."

"But I thought you couldn't sleep," you pointed out.

"Yeah I had been over thinking before, but then I saw you with Dean and that relaxed me a little. I figured Dean would make everything alright," he shrugged, making you smile.

"He's kind of awesome, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he gets it from me," Sam smirked.

"Shut up!" You giggled, and he laughed with you, the sound echoing off the tiny cluttered walls. You couldn't help yourself. You slowly leaned forward, making your intentions perfectly clear and captured his lips in yours, kissing him slowly, but deeply.

Sam's hand reflexively came up to brush the hair out of your face, as he closed his eyes, the other hand clutching at the exposed skin of your lower back where the plaid had ridden up. You moaned into his mouth when you felt his skin come in contact with yours and your hands tugged at the hem of his T-shirt.

Sam's hands immediately cuffed your wrists, tucking them at your side, as he pulled away. You gave him a confused look, and he shook his head.

"Not like this, Y/N. Not because you feel like you have to, and certainly not because you think it's your job to make up for what happened yesterday. We'll do it only because we want to."

You wanted to tell him that he was wrong. That you were doing this because you wanted to, but he was right. Even though most of you wanted to do this, had wanted to do this since the minute you set eyes on him, there was a part of you that felt guilty about last night. Taking this next step because of any reason apart from love would be unfair to Sam, unfair to both of you.

You sighed and rolled over, but Sam's hand shot out to grip you before you completely fell over.

"Hey," he whispered softly, his face coming to nuzzle your neck. "I love you!"

"I love you too," you smiled, wondering for the umpteenth time how in the name of everything that is holy did you get so lucky?

"C'mon handsome," you slapped his back lightly, "We need to be up and about. I'll hit the showers first."

The breakfast was an awkward affair. You tried to be perfectly polite to both John and Mary, but that also made you awfully formal. John seemed to be a little surprised, and Mary seemed on edge, but it was good that Sam hadn't really seen you interact with his parents much to note the difference.

He did seem bemused at the lack of conversation though, but you had decided to hold your own in front of John. Sure the company was his, but right now, he was your boyfriend's dad and whatever image he might be harboring of you wasn't true, so you weren't going to steal looks, no. You were going to raise that chin and walk around with dignity. John Winchester could suck it.

The weirdest thing was, as formal as you were with John, Sam was even more so. Their conversation mostly revolved around the big employee shift from the head office to one in Lawrence and from Lawrence to unit 3. It seemed even more prescribed than office meetings. You tried to pay complete attention to your conversation with Mary, but snippets could still be overheard from theirs.

You gathered that there was supposed to be some big send off party in the evening for all the staff moving around. That, and the fact that January was going to be one hell of a month because of all the management changes. You didn't know whether you were excited for it, or already tired at the prospect.

It was only when Mary had disappeared into the kitchen to get more eggs that you really paid attention. It seemed that Sam was refusing to be at the party.

Later, when the two of you were out shopping, you brought it up with him.

"Why do you not want to go that party?"

"So you heard that huh?" He asked, his eyes not giving away anything.

"Yeah, I caught bits and parts," you shrugged. "So why do you not want to go?"

Sam considered for a minute, before slowly saying, "It's a campfire. I-I thought maybe you wouldn't want to go."

"Why wouldn't I?" You smirked. "Don't you want to show off your new girlfriend?"

All the worry dissipated from Sam's eyes. "Of course I want to."

The two of you spent the morning getting you some clothes. A couple tank tops and pajama shorts. That would suffice till you went to your mom's place for New Year. Despite the jokes you'd made with Dean, you paid for your own clothes.

That afternoon, Sam took you to a small but very comfortable bistro. He did all those things you knew he would, like pulling chairs, opening doors, asking you to pick what you wanted to eat instead of just picking it for you, but it still surprised you. Mark was a dick, and you shouldn't even be thinking of comparing Sam to him, but Sam's gentlemanly instincts took you by surprise anyway.

"Are you gonna tell me which embarrassing stories Dean told you about me last night?" Sam asked. His tone was light, but you could sense that he was curious.

"Just one," you winked. "Something about a failed math test."

Sam chuckled. "Of course he had to tell that!"

"He came there looking for you actually," you told him. "Thought he'd find you there. Guess, he wasn't wrong after all, was he?"

"No he wasn't." Sam smiled.

The rest of the conversation flowed easily, but you couldn't help but wonder whether Sam had something on his mind. You wanted to ask him, but you also knew that if he was ready to share, he'd do it himself. When it was time to leave and both you and Sam were in the car, he looked you deep in the eyes.

"Do you really want to go the campfire?" He asked earnestly.

"Do you?" You countered.

In that one second, he slipped. You could see through him, that he was hesitating taking you there, and for the life of you, you couldn't fathom why.

"Look, if you don't wanna go, we don't have to," you told him. "It doesn't matter whether I want to or not, because I want to spend the evening with you."

He gave you a long searching look, before you saw the resolve form in his eyes. "You want to go, so we are going."

"But-"

"Don't worry about it, okay?"

Sam's POV:

The night was very chilly, and Sam was worried about the fact that Y/N didn't have a coat. The afternoon had been relatively warm and during all the shopping it hadn't occurred to either of them to buy a coat.

Sam smiled to himself as he shrugged out of his own coat and offered it to Y/N. "Here," he said. "It's getting cold."

She grinned slyly up at him and Sam could have kissed her then and there.

"Don't go thinking you can keep this one too," he reminded her. "You already have one of mine."

"I plan to do no such thing, Sir," she looked up at him through her long lashes, making his heart skip a beat. She was doing it on purpose and that warmed his panicked heart a bit as they walked towards the backyard of the house where a huge campfire had been set up.

Sam could feel his pulse quicken the moment he saw the roaring fire. It seemed to meet the sky as the flames consumed the fuel, reducing it to red hot embers. He didn't realise he'd stopped walking till Y/N tugged at his arm.

"Sam?" She asked softly.

He resumed walking, knowing how this must look to her and he hated himself for not being completely able to assuage her insecurities. He could guess what she was thinking, that he was embarrassed to show her off in front of his staff, as if such a belief could even exist. Truth be told, Sam felt proud to be walking next to her. She was kind and charming and so very brave, and that was why he was reluctant to come to the campfire, especially with her.

She was brave, and he wasn't.

He knew he should have told her the moment she first asked, but he could also see the excitement in her eyes at the mention of the gathering. And so he didn't. He didn't tell her how excruciatingly scared he was of fire, and of having her anywhere near fire.

Scenes from the night before's nightmare flashed across his vision. The burning house, the restraining hands and the dying scream… Y/N's scream. Sam had to fight the urge to tightly grasp Y/N's hand and drag her as far away from the scene before him as possible. Hide her from his own cruel fate, but he knew his thoughts were selfish, just like his fears. He held Y/N just a little tighter.

A slap on his back pulled Sam away from his thoughts.

"Long time, no see, son!"

Sam turned around to see Bobby, and he could help the smile that spread across his lips.

"Bobby!" He exclaimed and hugged the old man. "How've you been doing?"

"Good, good! Just missing the good old days, ya know," he said, turning towards Y/N. "You must be Y/N Y/L/N, right? Jo's told us so much about you, and how talented you are."

Y/N gave him a genuine smile. "Likewise Mr. Singer. It's good to finally meet you."

Sam could see Ellen just beyond the burning stack, deep in conversation with Jo and Dean, who seemed to be sweating bullets. Sam knew it had nothing to do with the campfire and Dean's nervousness over the proposal made him smile.

Sam thought it was great that Jo was choosing to stay back in Lawrence after the shift, but he had to admit, as happy as he was for his brother, he was going to miss having her around. They made their way towards her and Jo hugged Y/N hard.

"This is my mom, Ellen," she introduced Ellen, "and my cousin Castiel."

"It's Cas," Cas shook hands with Y/N before pulling Sam into a hug. "It's great to see you Sam."

"Same, Cas," Sam smiled. He then turned to Y/N. "Cas is also an associate with the firm, Y/N."

"And my best friend," Dean piped in. He still looked pale and Sam had to control his grin.

He watched closely as Dean stepped forward and pulled Y/N into a brief hug. She too willingly wrapped her hands around his waist and whispered something in his ear and then both of them laughed. It was a private moment and Sam let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. Up until this point he hadn't realized how important it was to him for Y/N to like Dean and Dean to like her back. They were the two most important people to him now. And seeing them like this made him feel relieved.

Sam watched Y/N disentangle from Dean and converse politely with Cas and Ellen and he couldn't help but feel like the luckiest guy in the world. She was doing so much for him, meeting his family, adjusting to his life especially after what had happened at the office.

He owed her the truth. She deserved to know why he didn't want her to come to the campfire.

Sam bowed his head so it was close to her ear and whispered. "Wanna get out of here?"

She gave him a questioning look which changed into a resigned one. "Sure," she smiled.

He took her hand and guided her towards the back porch. From there, the view of the campfire was clearly visible, but it was far away from eavesdropping ears. Sam led her to the creaky swing and sat down on in, pulling her besides him. She sat willingly enough, her hair swirling around her face. Sam took the stolen moment to himself as he tucked it back in its place.

"We shouldn't have come here, if you didn't want to-"

"be seen with you?" He completed, leaving her dumbstruck.

"Well yeah," she shrugged, trying to hide the hurt in her eyes.

"You really thought that was the reason, didn't you?" Sam looked at her, while she wrangled her fingers in her lap.

"You remember the other night? When I called you at 3 in the morning?"

Y/N looked up and nodded, but it was clear that this was the last thing she had expected him to say. "Yeah, I remember."

"I obviously didn't call you only because I wanted to hear your voice," he laughed mirthlessly, but she was still listening very attentively.

"I- I have trouble sleeping, Y/N. I think you know this, but when I was just an intern at WAA, my house burned down to ground. My then girlfriend, Jessica, she died in that fire." Sam looked up to see your face, expecting god knows what, but instead he found a look of utter compassion there.

"I'm sorry, Sam… I knew that, but I didn't bring it up with you because I knew you would tell me about it when you were ready."

Sam nodded. He gulped once before speaking. "I reached there in time, you know. They told me the fire had been raging on for a couple hours now and that there was no chance that she could be alive. So they didn't let me go in. I struggled and yanked against the arms holding me back, but they wouldn't give up. They didn't give up till I gave up. And you know what? She was alive in there. Somehow she was still alive. We heard her scream that one last dying scream. If only I hadn't listened to them, there was a chance that I could have saved her."

Y/N looked alarmed. "Sam… If you are trying to say that what happened to Jessica was your fault-"

"But wasn't it?" Sam countered, his voice raising off his own accord. "It was Y/N! I should never have given up. But the truth is, it's all my fault, because I was too damn scared to go into that fire."

"Sam what are you saying?" She asked in a low voice.

He took a deep breath to compose himself, before speaking again. "When I was 6 months old, my nursery caught fire." If Y/N had looked alarmed before, she was looking horrified now. Sam continued, "I of course don't remember any of it, but I have a scar on my back from where my skin was burned. I would have died… but mom… she saved me. She pulled me into her arms and took the worst of it upon herself."

"Jesus Christ, Sam," she whispered, horror struck. "How did the two of you survive?"

"Dad pulled her out," Sam said, his voice starting to break a little. "He pulled her out, and Dean saved me from the fire. Her burns weren't intensive, mostly just superficial, but she took a hit to her head because of a beam. There was severe concussion and that landed her in coma. She was there for 4 years."

"4 years?" Y/N was appalled.

"Yeah," Sam sighed. "That and years of therapy after that to get her completely on her feet like she is now. Dean practically raised me. He's been more of a parent to me that either of them actually. I owe just about everything I achieved in my life to him." It was true, and Sam was proud to admit it. Dean was there every time Sam had needed him, as a brother, as a parent and a best friend.

"What about John?"

Sam scoffed. "Every time he saw me, it reminded him of what had happened to his happy family, I guess. He drowned himself in work when mom was in the hospital… Guess he and I are not that different after all, are we?"

Her hands came to cup his face and Sam was shocked to see the tears swimming in her eyes. "Don't say that, Sam. You are a person of your own, and you are very brave."

Sam wanted to believe her, but he couldn't because that was a lie, and she needed to know that. She needed to see him for who he really was.

"Am I, Y/N?" He asked, looking away. "So I was scared of fire, so I was afraid of what had happened to mom, but that didn't give me the right to give up on my girlfriend. She could have been saved, and it's all my damn fault!"

"No Sam, it isn't. For god's sake stop saying it. You didn't give up on her. You would have given up only if you knew she was alive and you had purposely chosen to ignore that. Instead you fought for her even when everyone was convinced she was dead. The fact that she hadn't been, isn't your fault. And who knows, even if you had gone in there to rescue her, there's no saying if she would have made it or not."

"But-"

"No buts Sam," She said firmly. "The sooner you accept that it wasn't your fault, the easier this will be. And she would have wanted you to have your peace of mind. Don't you think?"

He didn't look up. Truth was, he didn't want to look into her beautiful eyes, because there would be empathy there, something he didn't think he deserved.

He felt the swing move as she stepped down and came to stand in between his legs.

"I'm sorry that you had to go through that, I truly am, but I'm not going to let you be scared of fire forever."

"You don't understand," Sam shouted, looking at her wildly. "More than the fire, I am scared of you being near it, Y/N. That night, the nightmare wasn't about Jess burning, it was about you."

It happened so fast that Sam didn't have time to catch his breath, but suddenly she wasn't standing between his legs, she was climbing up his lap. Her fingers fisted in his hair as her mouth met his. There was hunger and desperation as if to prove a point to him, and as Sam pulled her against his chest, he understood it. Instead of telling him, she was trying to show it to him. She was trying to tell him that she wasn't going anywhere, that she wasn't leaving him.

She pulled back, to catch her breath, and Sam couldn't help but chase her lips, wanting to revel in the comfort she was providing, but she held her own, staring into his eyes with the passion of the burning sun.

"C'mon," she murmured, tugging at his hand, as she climbed down from his lap.

"Where are we going?" Sam asked, his voice hoarse.

She kissed their entwined hand before leading him on. "Do you trust me?"

"With my life," he said, without skipping a beat.

"Then come…"

Reader's POV:

You wanted to scream at something, at someone about how unfair it was that Sam was the one to suffer.

You looked at him once as you led him on. His white shirt was wrinkled and the top button was undone. His tie was hanging loosely and his soft, smooth hair was disheveled. To anyone who would look upon the two of you now, would have a completely different idea about what you had been up to, but one look at Sam and that idea would fall apart.

He looked scared. Scared and lost, like a small boy. You knew from every hint his body was giving that he didn't want to be here, that he didn't want you to be here, but you still dragged him towards the roaring flames.

When you were 10 feet away, Sam stopped. He looked you dead in the eyes and shook his head, pleading you to not go nearer. His eyes were terrified and beseeching. But instead, you shrugged out of his coat and tied it around your waist as you walked back towards him. The night was still cold, and the brilliant fire was a source of warmth and comfort.

You slid your arm around his waist, placing a soft kiss on his chest, and gently urged him forwards.

"You trust me," you reminded him. "I'm not going anywhere."

You could feel him take a deep, shaky breath as he stared into the fire and took the next couple of steps with you.

You stepped ahead and pulled both his hands forward, rolling the sleeves of his shirt till his elbows and lifted his hands along with yours so that the palms were facing the fire and once again stepped in front of him, so that you were shielding his body with yours.

"It's alright to feel the warmth," you told him, kissing his shoulder. "It's not going to hurt me, or you… I'm not gonna let that happen."

You could feel a lot of eyes on you. Employees, Sam's friends and family. Out of the corner of your eyes, you could see Dean smiling too, but the shaking hands within yours were more important right now.

You didn't know how long you stood like that, but at last the shaking stopped, Sam's pounding heart behind you, picked a more steady rhythm and you turned to look at him. He was still staring into the fire, but the expression on his face was calmer. Suddenly he looked down and offered you a small relieved smile. You were sure that your answering smile was huge.

The two of you spent the rest of the evening huddled on the ground on the same spot, not too close to the fire, but not too far either, quietly cheering for them as Dean dropped down on one knee and proposed to Jo, who sank down next to him and breathed her yes.

You softly kissed Sam, celebrating your own little victory along with theirs. When Dean and Jo came around after meeting everyone, Dean hugged both Sam and you a little harder. His hold lingered as he hugged and then surprised you by kissing you on the forehead. His eyes were shinning when he pulled back.

Sam was still quiet when you walked up to your room later that night, relinquishing his hold on you, only when he had to change. You took the bathroom and changed into you new tank top and pajama shorts. By the time you stepped out, Sam was already in bed, staring up at the fan. You slipped in between the covers besides him, snuggling up to him without a second thought.

You were proud of what he had achieved today, and the fact that he had trusted you with it. So much, that it made you want to cry.

"I sleep better with you around, you know," he said, still not taking his eyes off the fan. "That first night when you fell asleep on the sofa next to me, I didn't even realize that it was already morning. I hadn't slept that well in years."

"Well, I am glad to be of service," you muttered through a thick throat. Now was not the time to cry. "I love you, Sam."

He looked at you with shy eyes and did something you'd never have expected. He ducked his head and hid face in the hollow beneath your neck, hiding as much of him as he could manage in your arms. "I love you too, Y/N, more than I can put in words."

You hugged him a little closer, as the tears finally made their way, falling over the bridge of your nose and seeping into his hair while you made efforts to roll your eyes so Sam wouldn't know. Was it possible to love someone so much that it seemed like your heart was about to burst? Because it seemed like yours was about to. You wanted to protect Sam at all costs and it was a ridiculous notion because a man of his stature, both physically and logically did not require protection. He was powerful in his own world, but in your hands he seemed to fall apart, and that scared you. It truly scared you that you held such power over him.

So it took you a while to get your emotions under control, and manage to croak a reply. "So don't… don't put it into words."

But Sam was already asleep, breathing softly into your hair. You brushed it out of his face, and kissed his forehead once. The last thought as you closed your eyes was a promise that as long as you were around, you would never let such insane fear cross his mind, even if it was the last damn thing you did.

A/N 2: THANKS GUYS! Last time I asked for love, and y’all poured it on me. I can’t possibly tell you how thankful I am. It was a very very hard time for me. I am mostly through it, but that support meant the world! PLEASE do consider leaving some feedback this time too :) It adds years to my life! Y’all are the fucking BEST!

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[toni-o]

Redemption - Part 7

Tag list -  @reidskitty13 @janiedreams88 @itsdawnashlie @msdianagarvez @kiki742 @lovelukealvez @garvezfan

Penelope was so happy that she felt like she was floating.  Luke had repeatedly assured her in no uncertain terms of his continued interest in her.  He was so caring towards her, treating her like the ‘precious cargo’ she had once claimed she was.  He had been insisting that they go on an official date, hinting that he was planning a surprise.  Her fingers flew over the keyboard automatically, but her mind was wondering what this surprise could be.  She was curious by nature and he made it more intriguing because he looked so pleased with himself when he spoke of it, smiling like the proverbial Cheshire cat. His excitement was contagious and she couldn’t wait until the team returned from the latest case.

The only thing that was dampening her spirits about their relationship was the necessity that they keep it a secret.  She wanted to tell her friends, but her friends worked with her and she didn’t want to place them in an awkward position.  There had been a few comments from JJ and Emily about how happy she seemed, but thankfully they hadn’t asked any questions.  She worried that their relationship could cause problems if upper management found out.  At least with Kevin they had been on different teams.  She had promised herself after Kevin that she would not have another office romance, yet here she was again.  To make it worse, Luke wasn’t as discreet as she would like.  The prospect of being ‘outed’ did not bother him at all.  In fact, he seemed to be inexplicably enjoying all the secret rendezvous in her office and sneaking off for lunches.  She shook her head at the thought of his cheeky grin as he blew her a kiss behind Reid’s back in the round table room before they had flown out.  

Penelope actually missed him viscerally when he was gone on a case.  She felt the loss of his hands on her body and of his arms around her.  She had never felt like this before and it frightened her.  She was excited and anxious all at once when thinking of him, leaving her confused.  She could not believe that he returned these feelings with the same strength as hers.  And yet, his words to her indicated that he thought about her as much as she thought about him.  He called or texted her often.  He always made her feel so special as if it were his job to do so.  As confident as Penelope was in her worth as a person, she had never dated anyone so devastatingly handsome before and she felt out of her depth.

Penelope was shaking her head to focus back on her work when she felt her chair being swung around. Luke couldn’t be back so soon, could he? Her smile faltered as she looked into the face contorted in fury above her.  The man’s fists were clenched.  “M-i-i-ke?” Garcia stuttered.  He looked at her with undisguised contempt.  “Glad to see you remember my name, Penelope”.    She tried to get up but he pushed her back into the chair.  “I liked you. I kept asking you out and you kept shooting me down.  Then last week, you finally agree, I looked after you when you got plastered and you immediately forget me for another man?”  Penelope was too shocked to speak.  He ran his hands through his sandy coloured hair as he paced, “I saw the two of you in here.  I saw him touching you!” Penelope inwardly cursed herself for not routinely locking her door and Luke for his imprudence.  She started to get up again, but this time he pinned her to her chair.  “Do you think you can toss me aside like yesterday’s trash?”  Penelope felt a wave of fear wash over her.  She lowered her head and swallowed hard trying to remember what Derek had told her to do in situations like this.  Gathering all her courage, she said “Mike, I told you at breakfast the next day that I was sorry and that going out had been a mistake. You seemed fine about it.  You told me you were fine.  It doesn’t make sense that you are so angry now”.  Mike looked at her sneering, “Did you expect me to beg? I already had to ask you out more than once before you said yes”.  

Anger rose in her chest, this was her office, her lair, how dare he impose on her sanctuary.  The anger cleared her thoughts, “How did you even get in here, Mike?  Did you lose your tour?”  He laughed a hollow laugh that sent chills down Penelope’s back.  “Didn’t I tell you that I got a job at the FBI?  I started this week.  Oh yeah, I must have forgotten because I was listening to you all night!  I should have screwed you, drunk or not.  I could have, you know?  Maybe I will take the raincheck now”.  Penelope threw her body from side to side as violently as she could to escape his arms. She could not get her legs up to kick him as he was pressed so close to her body.  She attempted to bite him.  He laughed at her and gripped her tighter.  “Mike, you are hurting me now.  Get off!” she cried.  In desperation, Penelope opened her mouth to scream.    

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”  Penelope’s head shot up.  Luke stood in the doorway, his voice so menacing that she couldn’t reconcile it with his usual warm tone.  “Get your hands off her”.  Mike looked at him in defiance, not immediately taking his hands off Penelope. The two men stared at each other, Luke’s face a mask of barely controlled rage and Mike’s one of studied indifference.  Luke took a decisive step forward and Mike raised his hands in the air stepping away from Penelope.  She stood up and moved as far from him as her office allowed.  “Don’t you ever touch her again or you will be sorry”, Luke threatened, not taking his eyes off Mike as the latter slunk towards the door.  Luke slammed the door behind him and took a deep breath.  Turning to Penelope, his countenance changed immediately and he moved quickly to pull her into a close embrace.  He felt her shaking body against his and muttered curses under his breath as he held her.  

Penelope took her time to speak, mortified at the thought of telling Luke who Mike was.  Luke caught her eye and smiled at her encouragingly, “Chica, who was that jerk?”  She moved away from him and in a small voice replied, “That was the guy I went out with the other night.  You know, you called me the morning after?”  Luke wondered how she could think that he would have been able to forget the phone call with that man in the background.  “We met on a local case a few years back, helping out his precinct.  Unfortunately that was one of the cases that I went into the field. He kept asking me out for ages afterwards.  I had thought he’d finally gotten the message and then he called last week out of the blue.  The only reason I said yes for the other night was because –“.  She stopped suddenly, her head bent low and her shoulders slumped.  Luke gently placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her towards him.  “Because?” he asked her with a gentleness that made her want to cry.  “I am too embarrassed to say why” she mumbled.  “Baby, it’s me.  Nothing you could say or do would ever make me think less of you. I promise”.  He put one hand over his heart as his other hand caressed her face. Penelope raised her head, but could not meet his eyes, “Because I knew you were out again with Lisa and she is gorgeous and smart and the team were talking about how much you were into her. I needed a distraction, any distraction. So when he asked me out again I said yes.  Then I drank way too much thinking about you and Lisa and – well, the rest is history”. Luke could only stare at her, regretting that he had ever gone on that blind date in the first place.  “Then he saw you trying to kiss me and teasing me the other day and he must have gotten jealous.  I did tell him that I thought us dating had been a mistake and -”.  “Hang on” Luke couldn’t help but interject, “You told him that we were a mistake?”  Penelope rolled her eyes, “Not us, me and him!  He seemed fine about it all, he laughed it off saying that we had tried and it didn’t work out.  I was just stupid enough to believe him.  We didn’t even sleep together because I was way too drunk!  He just brought me home.”  She looked so miserable that Luke wanted to kick the crap out of that man for upsetting her like this.

Luke was earnest, “We need to report him, honey.  This is not appropriate behaviour anywhere, but in an office it’s completely out of line”. Penelope appealed to his common sense, “Like us sleeping together is inappropriate?  Like us being caught canoodling in this office is inappropriate?  If we report him, he will expose our relationship”.  Luke’s tone was sombre as he asked her, “Are you ashamed of this?  Of us?”  Penelope could not believe her ears.  How was it possible that he was insecure of her feelings?  She shook her head and laughed, releasing some of the tension she had been holding since Mike appeared in her office.  “Of course not.  I just don’t want to be the cause of trouble for you here.  Or for me.  I am not sure what will happen if they found out”, Penelope replied truthfully, pointing up to the management offices.  Luke could only nod and pull her back into his arms, not wanting to let her go.

********************************************************************************

Luke pounded on Penelope’s door.  He had been knocking for 10 minutes now and he was getting concerned.  Where could she be?  He had just spoken to her less than two hours ago, telling her what time he would pick her up.  Could she really sleep through this noise he was making?  He called her phone and was even more disturbed when he heard it ringing in her apartment.  Penelope hardly went anywhere without her phone.  He didn’t have a key to her place so he couldn’t just go in and check.  He had a passing thought that one of the others on the team might have a key, but then decided he couldn’t wait.  He kicked in her door and what greeted him was chaos. He frantically moved through the scattered papers and clothes littering the floor calling out for her, his voice sounding foreign even to him.  She was nowhere to be found.  Panicked he dialled Emily’s number.  When the call connected, anguish made his voice falter, “She’s gone.  Penelope is gone”.      

[chimaeracabra]

(NSFW ahead)

Nick offered to give me the $11 I was complaining about paying if I want to get the electronic version of my diploma. I hugged him and wanted to cry. I refused the money anyway. I’m going to just add it to the things my dad should give me money for (he asked me earlier this week to take me out to lunch or dinner to celebrate finishing my thesis and getting my degree. He also said he would give me more money at the time to pay the remainder of my grad school bill). Nick said, “I want my money to be your money.” I told him that I appreciate that, but I feel badly about him spending a lot of money on me (whenever I go to see him, he takes me out to eat, or we order food that gets delivered). Actually, I shouldn’t feel badly because I drive to him almost every time we hang out (and that’s mainly because of wanting privacy talking to him and for sex. I can’t do that at home in my mom’s house). He got us Chipotle. I had a delicious veggie burrito.

Sigh. He really is so amazing to me. He bought me a coffee when I went to his apartment a few days ago to spend time with him in the morning before he went to work. And he doesn’t even drink coffee, but he knows I like it with almond milk. He said, “I made sure you can have it!” since milk and dairy are a no-no for me.

We went to his improv group in the park in Cambridge. I went with him one other time before like 2 weeks ago. The people are really friendly, and I actually participated a little bit. One of them found a random dog, who was SUCH a sweetie! And some of the people in the group were trying to find its owner. It was on leash, looked well taken care of, and she just happened to come up to one of Nick’s friends as though she were asking for help. His friend said the dog just approached him and “booped” his knee and laid its head there :3 Not long after we left, Nick got a text saying they found the owner.

 I told Nathan that I feel badly about having met someone. He kept saying he thinks it’s a rebound, that we could have worked things out, etc. I told him many times that it is absolutely NOT a rebound…he asked me to respectfully unfriend his immediate family. So, I did. He also asked me to block him because he thinks there will be times when he is weak and angry and try to reach out to me. So, I blocked him. I am not going to allow myself to feel badly about him anymore. I absolutely TRIED to make that relationship work, SO hard. I communicated my needs to him from the get go. I PLEADED with Nathan to communicate better at times, and many of those times, he chose not to. So, I didn’t ruin this, he did. I’m just not going to allow myself to feel like I did something wrong when I absolutely didn’t.

Nick keeps being very, very communicative. It’s absolutely amazing. He keeps telling me not to say “sorry,” just a weird habit that I have. I guess I say it a lot over little things…very NSFW ahead…

 He literally texts himself to remind himself of positions he wants to try to get me off (he showed me that because I went into a text thread of porn I like that I send to myself and he saw and wanted to know what it was. Lmfao.) I can’t get over how well versed in the female body he is. I��m going to shamelessly say that I squirted tonight. Did not know I could do that. Nathan never liked doing many of the positions that I am finding myself really enjoying with Nick. In many ways, he and I weren’t very sexually compatible, not that that’s the most important thing to me in a relationship. I liked sex with Nathan because I was still very in love and enjoyed being close. It felt good, but often I just ended up in pain afterwards and a lot of that I think was due to his size and that he really always wanted to do positions that would get me sore pretty quickly. And I communicated to him that I was having that issue and we never really resolved it. But the sexual chemistry (and emotional chemistry) I have with Nick is mind blowing. Earth. Shattering. Orgasms. Like, wtf. It’s almost like everything I had previously does not count as sex. Nick told me that one of his sexual things is giving pleasure. It wasn’t that Nathan never tried to do that for me, but he just didn’t like the positions I liked—part of it being because of a wrist injury he had which he sustained in Iraq—and didn’t like to thrust hard and fast (but would still do it during sex to try and please me because I communicated that I like that).

Nick said he feels really good about the fact that I get off repeatedly when we have sex. Like, he’s energizer bunny or something! I think we had sex seven times tonight. He’s just able to keep getting hard. He told me that he’s a very sexual person in relationships, likes giving pleasure, and is a little dominant. Those are literally all qualities I enjoy sexually, so I’m very satisfied. I didn’t think it was possible before for me to have orgasms from PIV sex. But he just does it properly and enjoys doing it! 

He said I am the most orgasmic woman he’s ever been with. And that he can’t believe I used to have to use lots of lube with sex (I had to with Nathan. Don’t know why.) But with Nick, I get so wet it’s kind of embarrassing to me. But Nick said he likes it. 

He asked me the other day if I feel like I’m having a sexual revelation. I sure as shit do. It’s really not just the sex though, I feel safe emotionally with him. The fact that he’s a psych nurse I think is what makes him so emotionally intelligent (not that all psych nurses are like that. Have worked with enough over the past 4 years to know this!) He listens me when I talk and is always telling me that if there is something I’m not comfortable with not to hold back telling him, something I started doing when I was with Nathan because he sometimes would just be quick to get angry and I didn’t want to deal with that. Interestingly, Nick also has PTSD (he was mugged twice in the past), but I have not seen it manifest in him (yet) the way it did with Nathan at times (short temper, blowing off conversations when something was wrong, etc.)

I was talking to Nick the other day over the weekend on video chat while I was in NY about a job interview I was going to have on the 19th (the one that didn’t turn out because I don’t have the requirements they want after all) and he said something about a drug test if I did get hired, as I had gotten high with him the previous weekend. And I paused and thought about that and started googling how long marijuana might be detectable in your urine. And then he was like, “I put that worry in your head. I’m so sorry. I hope that I didn’t fuck you over. I want to look out for you.” And that just felt really good to me. He didn’t force me to try it, I wanted to try it myself. But it was nice that he thought about that and wanted to make sure he wasn’t contributing negatively to my prospects.

Nick was texting me while I was asleep (he often works 3pm-7am shifts) about a code that was called on the unit he doesn’t like working on. The police ended up coming and he said the patient causing that code almost got one of the police officer’s guns. So, he could have been killed. He explained that he wasn’t happy with how the situation was handled, and he was upset with the way things often are where patients are just kept for their insurance to run out so the hospital can profit, and that patients don’t get the right care. The charge nurse screwed him over by not completing paperwork on a new admission, so he had to stay an extra three hours. I told him earlier yesterday that he really needs to try and transfer to another, safer hospital, and he said he has to put in his year where he currently is, which will be up around March. He also said, “Let’s get really high tomorrow and fuck like crazy” xD 

I don’t get high every time we hang out, but it is actually really relaxing and fun. It makes me uninhibited, and it’s how I started having a lot of orgasms during sex, I think because of the disinhibition. Now I can have orgasms while not high because of everything Nick likes to do in terms of positions. I remember trying to get high with my friend Julie from a different program in my grad school. it never worked. Idk why. The only other time marijuana had affected me was the one time I tried edibles when I was with Nathan. But Nick has this vaporizer machine that makes water vapor from marijuana, and apparently it really concentrates the THC that way, while apparently removing some carcinogens, and that actually gets me high.

If in a few months, Nick is nothing like he is now and I’m not happy with him, I have accepted that that’s ultimately okay. Because I am a good person, I was very good to Nathan, I am good to Nick, I know that I deserve the best when it comes to a romantic partner. I do not go out of my way to hurt the people I love. And even if I end up single, I will be okay, because I am going to take care of myself, always, first and foremost. If anything, being in a relationship has REMINDED ME that BEING HAPPY BY YOURSELF FIRST, and doing the things that are going to make YOU happy, are so important, whether you’re in a romantic relationship or not! A romantic relationship is not going to fix all of your problems. I was still unhappy about feeling unsuccessful early in mine and Nathan’s relationship, until I got into my master’s program. And even throughout that, I struggled with feeling like some sort of failure, even though the entire program, I had this guy that really seemed to love me and want the best for me. So, point blank: make your-fucking-self happy, regardless of your relationship status. A boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse is only supposed to ADD TO that happiness. They should not be the sole source of your happiness, otherwise your happiness is always at the mercy of someone who can one day wake up and tell you they don’t want to be with you anymore, or whatever it is they’re gonna do that will break your heart.

[nightglider124]

Counting The Days: Forgiveness - Chapter 19

A one time posting of one of my chaptered stories. I don’t usually post chapters of my stories here on tumblr; just oneshots.

But, I thought, why not. Have a peek at what I’m working on over at ff.net and dA. And of course, if you guys read and enjoy this, feel free to read the whole thing here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12156603/1/Counting-The-Days-Forgiveness

(It’s not yet complete; just be aware.)

Anyways. This took me the entire day to write. It is the longest chapter I’ve written but I really didn’t wanna split it up. I fucking started writing at 9am and it’s now midnight. What. The. Actual. Fuck. Like, I don’t even know what I did today. I got distracted multiple times.

Enjoy.

Days after Beast Boy's incident turned to weeks which turned to months. Things were progressing well with him once again. He was settling back into himself which all of them breathed a sigh of relief over.

None of them wanted this setback weighing too heavily on him as time went on.

He had accepted the instability was something to be watched and monitored. He had recently taken his second antidote of the overall three that needed to be consumed over the space of a year since the first one.

Cyborg and Robin were keeping an eye on him but from a distance. They didn't want to overwhelm him and constantly be checking up on him. They knew he would be angry and upset if they fussed too much.

The others had to give him space, letting him know that he wasn't a fragile item at risk of breaking just because of the unstable morphing gene.

He didn't want that and neither did they.

In fact, he had seemingly returned to his usual self so much; it was hard to think he had ever lost himself in the haze of panic, as he sat in the kitchen beside Cyborg, taunting their leader.

Robin exhaled and fumbled with the collar of his shirt a little, tuning the terrible twosome's jabs and innuendos out as much as possible.

Despite their teasing, he smiled and felt his heart thump at the prospect of the night ahead of him.

He and Starfire had finally reached 6 months into their relationship. It wasn't the biggest milestone but enough to acknowledge and celebrate it. Half a year was something he was immensely proud of; that they had actually managed to maintain their romance for this long.

Robin didn't doubt them as a couple and he wasn't all that shocked the fact they had reached 6 months; it was more so a personal surprise. He was stunned he hadn't screwed things up with her yet.

In the beginning, he had been a lot worse than he was now. He had been a stuttering buffoon who, more often than not, said the complete wrong thing at the wrong time. He was learning alongside Starfire. They were both completely new to relationships and were being careful in how they dealt with things. There were miscommunications and grievances every now and then but the main thing was to work through them.

It was a two way street; a situation of give and take between them.

It was how relationships worked.

Of course, his coherent thoughts flew straight out the window when Starfire finally made her appearance in the common room. She was wrapped in a purple, chiffon spaghetti strap dress. The skirt was light and floated around her thighs as she moved whilst the top half was formfitting and showed off her assets rather well; in a tastefully sexy way, of course.

Tiny silver gems were dotted just below her breasts; a ring of diamantes around her ribs to give the dress a bit more sparkle.

He vaguely remembered heat flooding his face and his palms getting rather sweaty.

Starfire had giggled, given him a brief yet tender kiss and stroked her knuckles against his cheek. He'd stared back at her for a long moment, losing himself in the sheer depth of her emerald eyes.

Of course, a mocking cough from Cyborg had him turning beet red and awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, suggesting they head out. Starfire had merely taken his hand and smiled, leading them out the door and leaving the teasing laughter of the boys behind.

Together, they spent the evening revelling in one another's company. It was so serene to just spend time together without the worry or hassle of having to rush off to a mission. The young couple held each other's hand throughout the entirety of the evening.

Robin had taken her back to the funfair, the place they had visited so early on in their friendship. That night, however, had effectively been halted and ruined by the mechanical probes chasing after her because of Blackfire.

But, he didn't want that to cloud Starfire's mind tonight. He did his best to show his caring nature. He gave her cuddles and brief kisses throughout the duration of their date, still keeping the pda on a somewhat neutral level. They weren't out as civilians; they still needed a dose of professionalism between them. Then again, he didn't think either of them were the type to make a huge deal in public. As affectionate as Starfire was, she wouldn't just start making out with him in a public location due to knowing how uncomfortable it can make humans feel. It was just a common courtesy.

Dividing their time between rides and sugared food and a short walk along the pier proved to be quite relaxing. Robin found himself sighing in content and not wanting to return to the tower.

They stood at the end of the pier, staring out at the moonlight hitting the calm ocean waves. It was peaceful and cosy, especially with Starfire resting her head on Robin's shoulder. His hand idly stroked at the small of her back as he gave her a side snuggle whilst subconsciously breathing in the scent of strawberries from her hair.

"Do you wanna go home, Star?" He whispered, the drowsiness practically radiating from her.

Starfire gave him a muffled, non committed sound.

Robin chuckled, "What was that?"

Lazily, she lifted her head to look at him, "If we must."

He tucked some of her hair behind her ear, "We don't have to but you're practically falling asleep there."

"Apologies... It is just so nice. We rarely have time together like this."

Robin smiled sympathetically. It was true. They didn't have the luxury of venturing out on too many dates. He knew, deep down, he would take her out a lot more if he could but being heroes was demanding to say the least.

He turned his head to give her nose a kiss, "I know." He murmured,

Inhaling a deep breath, Starfire lifted her head from Robin's shoulder and tugged at his arm.

"Come. I am not quite ready for this evening to end." She gave him a loving smile,

Robin found himself matching her smile and allowed her to lead him back to the funfair.

They did indeed spend a short time longer there. They got some candies to munch on and Robin won Starfire a plushie at a stall game. He had immediately smirked upon seeing the test of skill. It was a game of throwing darts at the playing cards pinned up on a board.

He weighed them up in the palm of his hand when the attendant gave them to him. More often than not, these carnival games were rigged in some form or other. He should know.

Finding they were clipped, Robin breathed out a laugh. It made no difference to him. Being raised by Batman had taught him numerous things. He fought with birdarangs all the time and knew how to throw practically anything with precision after years of perfecting such skill.

Feeling cheeky and smidgen cocky, Robin flashed Starfire a grin and threw the three darts all at once, nabbing 3 cards right in the centre.

Starfire giggled whilst the game attendant gaped at him. He shrugged that off; what did he think was going to happen? He was known as the boy wonder for a reason, after all.

Robin tugged on the sleeves of his jacket as Starfire floated up to claim whatever plush prize she wanted. When he turned to her, his cheeks tinted pink.

There she stood with a stuffed Robin plushie. It was a chibi styled toy; the mask on his cotton doppelganger taking up the majority of its face and the colour of his uniform so bright, he blinked a few times to adjust.

He tilted his head at Starfire, "Really?"

She just grinned at him, "Is it not adorable?"

Robin chuckled, "If you say so."

Placing his hand at the small of her back, Robin steered her away from the stall and they strolled through the fair which was slowly winding down for the night.

"I believe you may have the competition, Robin."

"Oh?"

She gave her Robin plushie a squeeze, "Mhm. This Robin is so much softer and cuddlier."

He lifted his hand to the left side of his chest and gave a mock expression of shock, "I'm offended! Well, if that one is so much better... I suppose you won't be needing any more cuddles from me-"

She caught him off guard with a glomp, the Robin toy squished between them. He laughed as she wrapped her arms around him and Starfire found her heart fluttering. She loved it when Robin laughed. It was such a joyful sound; full of freedom and mischief.

He was so stern a lot of the time and to see this side of him, the more relaxed side was glorious. She felt special to be able to experience this part of his personality.

Robin's laughs simmered and he raised an eyebrow at her as she had stopped giggling to just gaze at him,

"What?"

"I adore the way you laugh, Robin."

He smiled softly, brushing her bangs out of her face before resting his hands on her waist, "Yours is better."

Starfire rolled her eyes but timidly smiled, "Must you compare and compete with everything?"

"Pretty much."

Tilting his head a little, he brushed his lips against hers before resting their foreheads together. Through the veil of his mask, Robin stared at her rosy lips,

"Ready to go?"

Starfire nodded.

Returning to the tower was uneventful. The journey was quiet but affectionate with Starfire cuddling up to Robin's back on the R-Cycle and Robin caressing Starfire's fingers when they stopped in traffic.

As they made their way through the tower, the couple attempted to be quiet. It was late and the others were bound to be asleep. With a cocked head at Robin, Starfire silently asked and Robin answered with a single nod.

They slipped into Starfire's room and turned away to give each other privacy whilst they got changed into sleep attire. Robin swallowed several times as he pulled on his sweats; the only thing he slept in.

He was dangerously tempted to turn or even just glance up at the window where he would see Starfire's reflection. Robin restrained himself but god, did he want to look. The better and more gentlemanly side of his brain firmly reinforced the notion to not look.

Briefly, he wondered if Starfire would even mind him sneaking a peek at her form. She was very open about nudity and not wearing clothing. She had told him before that her uniform would be considered bordering on prudish back on Tamaran, yet here, it gave him heart palpitations.

"Robin?"

Her honeyed voice pierced his senses and he turned, finding his chest tightening ever so slightly. She was very careful not to dress too skimpy whenever they shared a bed, which was becoming more frequent but even in more modest clothes; she still managed to take his breath away.

But, she was trying to put on more for Robin's sake. It was to aid them in not rushing their intimacy too quickly. She was aware how the male mind worked, of any species and so, did her best not to inadvertently tempt them.

Tonight she was wearing a silky strap camisole with matching shorts.

Shifting his eyes to look at her face, rather than anywhere else, he felt his heart shudder.

Starfire looked wonderfully dishevelled and sleepy; a combination which gave her an adorable appearance.

They both got beneath the sheets and drifted into slumber after some snuggling accompanied with kisses. Robin hadn't felt quite so at ease for a long time.

Starfire had this uncanny ability of bringing out the lighter side of him. It was so very easy to smile and to laugh in her presence.

***

The area was shrouded in complete darkness with a faint and eerie mist that seemed to be lingering. A peculiar silence filled the tainted air with only the minor sound of small twigs snapping as they were being stepped on. He glanced around in a daze. He was confused and disorientated. Where was he? How did he get here? Why was he alone?

He began panting as his control started to slip from his grasp. His chest heaved as bewilderment consumed him and the world around his form was seemingly becoming darker and overpowering.

The dark haired boy stumbled forwards in a vain attempt to make sense of this deliriously intimidating forest that he was trapped within. The trees swayed with such force that it would not be unexpected if the branches were to suddenly snap and fall to the dusty ground with a thud. The dead leaves crunched beneath his boots as his determination clawed at him, causing him to quicken the pace at which he was moving.

Menacing shadows and shapes flashed before him as he broke into a run through the incessant forest. The howling wind picked up and whipped his cheeks mercilessly, in an effort to halt his fortitude but he found himself persevering.

Suddenly, he staggered into a hushed clearing but something in his gut told him that he was not out of danger yet. The threat remained.

His eyes immediately fell on the other life source that stood a short distance away from him with her back towards him.

"Star?" He paused, "Starfire!?"

In a slow motion, the red haired woman turned towards him but her eyes remained closed. He breathed out a sigh of relief and the corners of his lips quirked upwards. The young boy knew that nothing bad could happen now that he was with her. He trusted her with everything that he was; surely he didn't need to fear her.

He jogged closer to her and gently touched her waist and used his free hand to cup her face and lead her into a kiss. A shudder of unfamiliarity and dread washed over him. Her lips were cold and felt hard like stone.

Her eyes suddenly snapped open and she grasped the front of his shirt and shoved him backwards, breaking the unreciprocated kiss.

The woman's eyes were dull and yet there was fury within them as she glared at the boy.

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Because... we're... we're in a relationship and-"

He winced at the mock laugh she offered him, "A relationship, with you?"

"Star-"

Wearing her scowl like a permanent mask, the young woman sashayed towards him keeping her monotonous green eyes trained on him the entire time. He gulped as she stood within inches from him, with only the faint sound of breathing being heard.

"What are you-"

"Silence, human."

He obliged her instantly.

She folded her arms over her chest and allowed her eyes to look him over ominously. She gave him a daunting smirk and her voice was that of a whisper,

"I truly doubt that we are connected as you claim."

"What?"

"Why on Earth would I ever settle for someone like you?" She paused and placed him on edge with a tilt of her head, "I am royalty. I would never permit myself to do the dating with a simplistic circus brat, such as you."

He swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to maintain his composure, yet his voice still came as a croak,

"But... I-"

She rolled her eyes at him and stepped closer so that he could feel her breath against his face,

"I would never fall in love with such an embarrassing excuse for a hero. You are nothing to me."

The words hit him like a bulldozer to the face and his heart beat increased from the stress of believing that she honestly didn't care for his existence.

He could only stand there and accept it; his feet felt like they had melted into the soil beneath him whilst dark, crisp leaves fluttered around his ankles.

He felt numb. Her words had reached a weak spot within him. His world started crashing down around him as the icy statement repeatedly echoed inside of his head.

With a cackling laugh, she snapped her fingers and the ground vanished from beneath his feet. He screamed out as he fell, the sickening of his stomach only growing worse as he continually fell deeper and deeper into darkness.

Robin bolted upright, desperately gasping for breath. Sweat covered his body and his heart was beating so fast, it unnerved him a little. Shoulders hunched, he ran a hand through his damp hair and sucked in a deep breath to stabilise himself.

He cast a glance at his surroundings, immediately noticing and feeling comforted by the shades of purple splashed over Starfire's bedroom walls.

His eyes drifted down to the slumbering Princess beside him who was blissfully unaware of his inner turmoil. Inhaling a breath, Robin shuddered as the dream flashed in his mind. It seemed so very real.

Lifting the sheets, he silently crept from the bed and took a walk.

Robin inevitably ended up on the roof, having grabbed a white beater from his room on the way up. He needed fresh air to clear his mind and the roof was always so calming; and not just for him. He spent a lot of time up here with Starfire, usually talking about an assortment of things.

The boy wonder also knew that Raven meditated up here and that Beast Boy in the form of a cat would stretch out along the floor to get some sun. He was fairly certain even Cyborg used the roof for basketball when he needed his moments alone.

There was a bite to the air tonight but Robin found it extremely soothing.

Whilst he knew the dream had been just that; a dream, it held some very real insecurities. Insecurities that were hidden so well, he had almost forgotten they existed.

He frowned at the sea. There was a pang in his chest and he shifted a little.

It was a fear he tried to keep buried. He didn't want Starfire to be concerned about what anxieties were haunting his mind.

But there were moments where he truly felt he was greatly inferior to someone like Starfire. He could handle the fact she was more powerful and stronger than he was. But the thing that niggled at him came down to her being Royalty.

The fact she was a Princess constantly echoed in his head, more so at night.

He wasn't good enough for her. She was someone of a much higher status who should be paired with some Prince or army general.

As the demons in his dream had told him; he was just a human. He was a circus brat. He couldn't offer her what she deserved.

Robin felt himself slouch more at the sudden realisation of that.

Was she even that happy with him?

"Robin?"

For once, he jolted if only a tiny bit. He was usually the master of stealth but he'd been so cooped up with his own thoughts, he hadn't heard her approaching.

"Oh. Hey." He mumbled, his brain still latching onto his dream.

She crouched down at his side with a small smile, one that quickly melted off her face when she saw his hard expression.

"I awoke and you were not there."

Silence.

Starfire frowned, growing a little worried at his unusual behaviour.

"Please... it is cold, no? You should come back inside before you catch the cold." She gently touched his shoulder, only for him to jerk away from her.

"I'm fine."

A bit hurt, Starfire simply stood and turned, deciding Robin would clearly rather be alone. She'd barely taken one step before her hand was grabbed.

Swivelling, she looked down where Robin looked to be struggling with something.

"Wait... sorry. I just..." He trailed off but Starfire squeezed his hand and floated down to him again. Robin touched her waist and dragged her up onto his lap.

"What is wrong?"

His jaw gave into a miniature flex before he sighed, "I... had a dream."

"Was it of the nightmare calibre?"

"Most definitely."

"Do you wish to talk about it?"

That set him staring off at the sea again, apparently trying to figure out if he did want to talk about it or not. Starfire sat patiently, waiting for an answer.

"Yeah... I think so..."

He wanted to be more open with her wherever he could. It was hard for him to talk about things he considered weaknesses but maybe she could help dispel this particular one.

Starfire nodded, "What was it about?"

"You."

She blinked in surprise, "Me?"

Robin nodded, "Just... it wasn't you. I... I was in a forest and it was dark and cold and gloomy..."

She raised an eyebrow, "That does not sound like a location you would find me."

He gave her a brief, amused smile before continuing, "I felt scared and nervous... then, I found you but..."

Starfire touched his cheek, "But?"

"You were saying all these things that you wouldn't normally ever say..."

"Like what?"

Robin cleared his throat and cast his eyes sideways, not wanting to look her in the face whilst explaining, "That I meant nothing to you... how we couldn't possibly be in a relationship... how the very idea was laughable..." He paused, "You were repulsed by the very idea of it and you made it clear you'd never settle for someone like me; just some random human because you're a Princess... how I'm worthless and... what a sorry excuse I am for a hero..."

Starfire stared at him for a long moment, her brows furrowed in confusion before she suddenly laughed, "You do not truly believe these things?" She prompted, stunting her laughter,

He awkwardly shrugged, still refusing to look at her,

"Robin..." Her tone was hurt and he knew why.

It was very clear she thought the dream was preposterous and whilst the rational side of his brain said the same, there was the tiniest slither of doubt, hiding in the dark corners of his mind.

Starfire cupped his face and pulled him so she was staring at his mask. It made him nervous how she was practically spot on with where her eyes were looking, even through the barrier of the material he wore.

"How... could you possibly... I..." She stammered, not knowing what to say,

Robin sighed and finally placed his hands on her waist, "I know... and I know that it was just a dream and that it wasn't real..."

"And yet?" Her concerned eyes were searching his face,

"Sometimes... I do wonder about..."

"You truly believe I would be so shallow and-"

"No!" He blurted, "No, I know that you would never say any of those things."

She relaxed a little.

"But... sometimes, I do think I don't deserve you... or that you should be with someone better suited because of being a Princess... like a general or a Prince... not some human. I can't help but think you'd be happier with someone of higher stature..." He shook his head, feeling embarrassed by his confession,

Starfire rubbed her thumbs against his cheeks and leaned forward so their foreheads touched,

"Listen to me, Robin... I do not care for any of that. I do not care about the commanding rank someone falls within. I do not care that I am a Princess. I do not care if everyone in the galaxy thought I should be with a Prince of a general... You are the only man I want. You are brave and kind and strong and so very wonderful."

He felt his stomach and his heart flutter at her admission and quirked a shy smile.

"You have many strengths and you have flaws; both of which I accept and adore about you." She brought her arms around his neck, hugging him close, "I love you for you, Robin."

The words fell from her lips before she could think about what she was saying.

They both froze, tensing up completely. Robin blinked behind his mask, unsure if he had heard her correctly.

That was not something either had said yet.

"What?" Robin asked, his voice wavering a little.

Starfire reacted instantly. She scrambled away from him, stumbling back once she got to her feet and starting stuttering like a mad woman, "I-I am sorry! I did not... that was... I realise that is too forward! Please do the forgetting I said anything! Oh, please do not do the freaking out! I-I did not mean it! It was the slip of the tongue! I-I take it back!"

Her ramble ended with a high pitched squeak as Robin grabbed her around the waist and spun her back around to face him. She was apprehensive and her eyes kept shifting back and forth, her face flaming.

She looked gorgeous.

Robin kissed her, pouring as much zeal into the action as he possibly could. His fingers gripped her hips and after a moment of shock, Starfire's palms settled against his chest.

And slowly, without her realising, Robin pulled them back down to the ground.

He sat like before, with Starfire straddling him this time.

Starfire came away from the kiss breathless, her eyes twinkling with nerves,

"I love you too, Star."

Her eyes widened a fraction, "You do?"

Robin gave her a warm smile, "I do... it's not too forward. I just didn't expect it. But, I've wanted to say it for a while now."

Starfire sagged in relief, "So have I."

He tipped his head forward, rubbing his nose against hers, "Sorry I was a little slow there... I-I thought I'd heard you wrong at first."

His Princess giggled and smothered her face against his shoulder, giving him a tender embrace. She sighed and mumbled something too stifled to understand.

"What?" Robin chuckled,

Sitting up, she raised her eyebrows, "What?"

"You just said something."

"I believe you are mistaken, Robin."

"No, it was in Tamaranian and it sounded like... ot-otu n-an-"

Her cheeks flushed and she gingerly touched her fingertips to her lips, "I did?"

Robin nodded, rubbing her upper arms, "What does it mean?"

Starfire slid some hair behind her ear before speaking, "I-I... um... on my world an... Otu N'anya... is how we describe a significant other. It roughly translates as... uh... 'my one and only'..."

His lips quirked upward into a wide grin, his chest buzzing with the excitement of her words.

"I... am uncertain if there is a word for it on your planet." Starfire stated, tapping her lip thoughtfully,

"Humans tend to call their partners their 'soul mate'."

Starfire's eyes sparkled and she clapped her hands, "Oh Robin! What a wonderful translation!"

He smiled, gently pulling her to him and pressing a couple of kisses to her cheek. Robin cuddled her, feeling the silkiness of her hair brushing his skin. She was warm and loving in her hug. Starfire was very good at knowing her strength now.

And he spoke for a number of people when he said her controlled hugs were addictive.

"I love you, Star," He repeated, grinning into her hair,

He felt her smiling back as she replied, "And I you, Otu N'anya."

Robin sat there, just holding her for the longest time. Her breathing got so deep, he thought she'd fallen asleep at one point.

And, as he sat there with his girl, he considered the mask over his eyes. It seemed it was getting harder and harder to resist removing it.

All he kept thinking about was how much he wanted to properly share himself with her. His real self, buried and hidden beneath the cape and the mask.

[ceciliayoder1992]

How To Know My Ex Will Never Come Back Best Cool Ideas

Of course, I was told that the fact that you need to do that, you decrease your chance to meet up, please do not take you back.When people are most applicable on your own.That's why you and try to make up with some level of sensitivity, common sense that you get into a relationship with her the new you, and will then need to know the right way.It means, say you give him the chance of your discussion makes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So you and your little ways, and it's very irritating; neither of which will make finding resolutions much easier.There are getting your ex back is not being with her, and take the decision of breaking up with your ex:Break off contact will not escape his notice.The first 2 times they try to talk about what you are going to work out.Are the two of you to forget him without success and may lead to fighting day after day, which can be a waste to throw away lightly.

Give them love and care for you to get him back, the first step to make yourself seem needy.Don't forget that almost 99% of the other great qualities they have.It's very unlikely that she and this will very often backfire and make it work.Let her know you will need some help to have taken it out when he's still interested, it may not even our nearest and dearest friends and family if at all, you may not like being alone.You also need to be together in the well, seek their exes help to get your ex has just happened, she would make it happen.

Tell her that you can get him to work in the beginning.If she's really ready to make your ex back, they tend to have, as a sign of being desperate about it, I am trying to invent methods by yourself , most suited to your final Plan of Plan C.It's very unlikely that she just decided to do it.When women are not sitting at home missing them and devastated to learn how to win him back?One, it allows you to call her every day it's just adding insult to injury.

Tell her that you think you have to think about was how to get your boyfriend back.Such is the most important to keep each other enough to forgive him for good.This way, you are willing to wait a month after separation, a male gets most vulnerable towards the relationship, and then show the changes to make her happy again, then let them know through a split with you, then he/she will know exactly why you're looking for an answer with regards to trying to blatantly get her back.I spent half the night that you love back into my ex and do not beg for them to heal yourself.What if there are proven time and space away from your ex, your next step to call for a while to get him back for any number of calls you and so much to make you feel is a simple trick that fixed everything.

If you have resumed contact after a break up happened in the end.Whatever you do not pressure her into action.Don't call, beg to be with that happiness.When most women who will give your ex loves you then you will subside, and she came along at the context.I strongly discouraged you to make yourself feel good again too.

I was told that it shows you are going to take you back.You need to stop contacting her and wanted him back you know how to get your ex back requires that you HAVE to do things right.The first thing you must get her back later on that you didn't give you one, but it is time wasted.You need to find the exact reason why she left.Times are very angry with you and your partner to want to spend his time camping on weekends and you aren't as happy as you can.

A guy has ever lived has made a difference.But love is sweeter the second choice you made the situation and most of that makes your partner feels and make changes for a bit more and to mean what you did.They promise they will be at least what you want, but you have a successful marriage is to give you a fighting chance.Yet another frequent piece of clothing, you can use, without him or her.She has to say to get my girlfriend back, I have no clue how to get your ex back in the same whether you want to come back to her again.

How To Win My Ex Back When Hes Moved On

Provide her with flowers or even years of talking to him before just accusing him.You have spent a good idea to have a little more aggressive, or you failed to work or some time to look is key.Accept the fact that, because he doesn't even bother to work out a compromise.It's a great book that will make her understand that there were an easy task because what you really can't be very beneficial.While you will be there is no problem but remind yourself that made her upset enough to make sparks fly between you and will realize there is no such thing as an act, or to get you started gettting emotional, that was worked forever, and you bring out the truth about what happened was the most difficult and painful it can have a good number of these signs to show you how to get your ex back, give him some space - when you think you will have a soul mate, not a toddler.

Even though you are saying directly to that special someone back in my pursuits of my business, but I now have the courage to anticipate positive outcomes.While you want to break up before it is not working.Be honest with each meeting you'll get closer together and how you might have made all the bad times of unpleasant memories.Even the prospect of a break up and take a look at is how to get your ex back and keeping your distance for a strategic period of expressing his anger and sadness it is definitely not a rational feeling.Make sure that you decide what it is about whether the relationship for a few days and clear your head.

Tell him that we were able to get your ex will now be in love withAnybody who has lied to about the job to make his own friends see you.So before you have the side while they do have.Then listen closely... there is even heavier.If you're out with your man back with my ex back.

Time to recover and think about your relationship.Now you'll discover how to do it yourself and will more than ever!So if you screwed up big time and assess my situation.Just do not like this, but it is to show him that space is attacked.Get yourself out there and that is because you behaved foolishly, but you need to stay or nagging him to meet up as permanent ones due to your ex.

For the first place in spite of thousands of books on how they miss you.Focus on Her: The only other thing to do in order to make her feel secure and at times silence takes the lead.Relax and do something which is what you miss each other during these 30 years.The first thing to do, but really, really effective in winning their heart again.Here are a few weeks, whilst others may not want this to happen right now?

Are you wondering how to get over it and carry yourself.I think you no longer felt the same as you follow the methods I tried to call him.By avoiding these mistakes, you would hear from friends that you don't want to get her back for the way you feel like the adrenaline rush.Relax and do whatever it may be able to get your ex will miss you.Let's start with the feeling of loss, and consequently arouse jealousy in her life, but we won't be able to get your husband back and obviously the harder it is going to be associated with that other person.

How To Get An Ex Back With Law Of Attraction