#the finish line so i have to do it and it's literally impossible to live in this house and not be financially independent bc then

[siriuslynephilim]

i hate the way he makes me fight for things i don't even believe in or want or like

[giorno-plays-piano]

Binary Star

Part I

Pairing: academic rival!Satoru Gojo x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, power play, hurt/comfort, no curse au, this series will get darker as the story progresses.

Words: 1.2k

Summary: It has to pay off, he thinks as he waits for the headmaster to finally announce the valedictorian, knowing she is there too, shifting from one foot to the other impatiently. What face is she going to make when his name will be called? Is she going to cry? To yell at him and publicly demand a re-evaluation? Or will she, perhaps, finally admit he's done a fantastic job and won fair and square?

____________

He is really going to get her this time. This is the finish line, quite literally: the graduation; his last attempt to win and emerge victorious from the very last battle between him and her. It has to be it.

If he couldn't win against her for the last time, Gojo would probably have a mental breakdown right in the middle of the ceremony. Geto standing right next to him rolls his eyes to the ceiling over his friend who's shaking from excitement and fear. Of course, Satoru wouldn't admit it even under torture, but Suguru knows better. The girl his friend has been competing with throughout high school isn't just smart: she's completely insane like Gojo and as big pain in the ass as him. Who knows, perhaps she'll really win this round. He prefers not to think of it.

Satoru searches for her in the crowd, standing on his toes despite already being a foot taller than anyone else in the hall. Is she here? This nightmarish woman who has been pushing him to give high school his all because she dared to take away his crown of the best student during their freshman year? When Satoru saw the scores, he thought he might have had a heart attack. There was no way he was no longer #1.

"That's what you get for messing around the chem lab," Shoko snorted while Satoru dumbly stared at the name of that annoying girl, always the teachers' pet, heading the list. His name was written right under hers.

What the actual fuck?! She got a better score than him? Him, the genius, with his undeniably superior IQ of 180 that he flaunted at any given time? Who did she think she was, Sheldon Cooper or something?

It got him so fired up he actually started studying.

"You're so dumb," Geto eventually said after his friend had gotten in the argument with the girl during their ethics class - again. "You know you could be making out with her now, right? She's the only person who could actually get along with your stubborn ass."

"Wha-a-at? What about you?" Immediately disregarding his question, Satoru was already pouting like a kid. "Wouldn't you date me?"

"Yeah, over my dead fucking body."

To be fair, it's not that Gojo never thought of her that way - she was pretty, even if he was never going to admit it out loud - but she was also so insufferable Gojo really couldn't focus on anything else but beating her in that game they were playing. The best score on the history exam? They both wanted it. Math test? Him and her were working on those questions as if their lives depended on it. Biology project? Satoru made sure to do the impossible, submitting something he would get a Noble prize for, and yet he still somehow managed to get the same grade as her. It was absolutely infuriating.

Why on Earth did she decide she could be better than him? He was Satoru Gojo, after all. The one and only son of Gojo family, who was not only embarrassingly rich but also fucking smart - his parents used to flaunt his talents throughout his whole childhood and continued doing it well into adulthood. He couldn't tell them he was no longer #1. What would his mother say? Dear God, it was hard to imagine what would happen to his father of he learned some random girl got a better grade for that English paper than him. It was, at the very least, unbecoming of Satoru.

But she was unrelenting, irritated with his status of the school genius, and ready to fight him on every occasion. Satoru had no idea what could piss her off so much - in the end, he was the most charming guy around, wasn't he? - but there wasn't a day she'd let him have his way. She was brave, persistent, and knowledgeable, and he hated her very much.

The fact that Shoko and Suguru were asking him to please get together with her and stop antagonizing the whole school only riled up Gojo even more. As if he was going to date that nerd!

When he learned she'd be running for the valedictorian, it was the last drop. No fucking way. She couldn't take it away from him - even if he had never actually cared about being a valedictorian.

If his friends had thought he was obessessing over her, now they realized Satoru went completely nuts. He started studying so much he barely slept: it was a given, considering the bags under his eyes were making his skinny ass look like a starving raccoon. Geto couldn't drag gim out even in between lessons because Satoru was immediately burying his head in the books.

It has to pay off, he thinks as he waits for the headmaster to finally announce the valedictorian, knowing she is there too, shifting from one foot to the other impatiently. What face is she going to make when his name will be called? Is she going to cry? To yell at him and publicly demand a re-evaluation? Or will she, perhaps, finally admit he's done a fantastic job and won fair and square?

Pfft, of course she won't. She'll probably stab him in the parking lot once he tries to get into his car.

But when the headmaster finally announces the results, and his, Satoru Gojo's, name is called, he no longer sees her in the crowd, and the sweet taste of victory suddenly turns to ashes in his mouth.

Where is she? She couldn't have known it would be him. To be frank, he didn't either. How could she leave right before the results were announced?

He gives his speech with a stupid smile plastered all over his face, but his mood has already soured. She had to be there to hear he was named this year's valedictorian! What face did she make? Did she leave right after she heard it wasn't her? Did she cry? Did she run away because she couldn't take it? Wasn't she going to say to him anything at all?

How could she just... vanish?

He doesn't know why he expected her to be the bigger person and come tell him he did great, but he truly did. Suddenly, he realizes he wants her to look him in the face and say he is good enough.

Did he need to be the bigger person, perhaps? But, wait, isn't he a bigger person by default because he's the winner, he wondered. The winner is always the bigger person if he doesn't rub loser's face in the dirt, right?

In the end, he couldn't even enjoy the victory he had been craving for so long.

"She had something urgent come up," Shoko says later in the restaurant, making a tsk-ing sound while Gojo listens to her with a frown on his face. "Something about her family."

Something about her family? What could be as important as the announcement of valedictorian?

"Are you dumb?" With a sigh, Suguru cocks his head to the side. "Plenty of things are more important than this valedictorian crap."

Maybe to somebody else, but not to her, Satoru thinks. Beating him has always been the only thing on her mind, and nothing could have changed that.

__________

He will be mulling over it for a long, long time once he realizes she did not follow him to Harvard despite her scholarship.

Part II

Tags: @minshookie29

[ot3]

I mean this in entirely good faith, I promise, but I'd love to hear the "shortcomings" you think those shows have

she ra i mostly just found boring i don't think i could point to a single thing it did (out of what i watched, that is. i didn't finish the show) that i found to be an objectionable writing choice, but it just didn't do anything to keep my interest. which is a shame because i went into it REALLY excited!!! i had long been a fan of nimona so hearing that ND stevenson was getting the chance to make a cartoon i was SO prepared to be all over it. and i watched it and it all just fell pretty flat for me

steven universe and the owl house i feel like are shows with some pretty major structural issues. i really think they try to have their cake and eat it in terms of episodic moments vs overarching series narratives that are kind of at odds with each other.

with steven universe i feel like this manifested in some pretty bizarre tonal whiplash that prevented either of the shows angles from sticking its landing. i think if steven universe had either been an epic space opera about a kid inheriting his mother's war, it would have fucking banged. i think if steven universe had been a more slice-of-life oriented show about a boy coming of age by realizing he's sort of the living manifestation of the war trauma of the people around him and learning to navigate and help people heal from that through fantastical, alien super-powered twists on mundane life that would have banged in a completely different way. but as it stands i think trying to do both at the same time detracted from the overall experience.

it feels weird to have them fucking around at the barn when there is something that is going to literally hatch from the earth's crust like an egg and destroy the entire planet and theyre just ignoring it. it feels weird in a different way to have them visit an alien zoo full of human beings and know that the structure of the show means we will absolutely not be taking the time to fully unpack that one. for me this cognitive dissonance really reached its peak an episode where steven explicitly calls his mother a war criminal, but that was a throwaway line because the A plot was that lars, the guy who works at the donut shop, bakes as a hobby and is embarrassed by that. to be perfectly clear i don't think it's impossible to balance more mundane slice of life moments with big adventures to combat existential threats. but whatever that balance looks like is not what steven universe was doing

the owl house on the other hand i don't feel like was ever really willing to commit to a particular vibe long enough to get invested in it. it's trying to be a show about a girl who is a witch's apprentice, but that doesn't really feel quite fully realized because it's also trying to be a show about a Magic School, but we don't spend enough time at the Magic School to get invested in that setting as a framework for the character interactions and narrative events, but then it also starts trying to be this big adventure/questing show. and then before too long luz is the one teaching magic to everyone else? it refuses to really commit to any one thing it's trying and just kind of throws everything at you with out actually getting to spend time with its concepts

in general i also think luz was a weak protagonist. in terms of writing. i think she wasnt given enough meaningful flaws, didn't make enough mistakes, and didn't really have to learn any hard lessons or make decisions that fundamentally went against who she thought she was. her whole thing is basically being Nerdy and Kinda Weird which i think is kind of an outdated substitute for meaningful character writing in the current zeitgeist. im sure she is an absolutely fantastic power fantasy for a lot of 12 year old girls who consider reading books to be their main personality trait and i absolutely do not fault that for existing. i think that's a critical thing to exist and all those 12 year olds really deserve it. but it has no appeal to me as an adult woman who has grown out of that phase, yknow?

i feel like once again the comparison to akko from little witch academia invites itself very easily, and anne from amphibia too, which was also a disney teen girl isekai airing at the same time. i loved both of those two as protags a ton and i think its because they really fumbled repeatedly and went through the wringer in a way luz didn't

[harlowcomehome]

Father’s Day tears and flowers:

This was requested by @jackharloww, thank you!!

A/N: Hazel is three here.

It was the day before Father’s Day and Hazel had been running around the house all day, making it extremely hard for you to focus on getting things together for tomorrow. She usually didn’t have this much energy but luck would have it that tonight she did.

Jack was in Vegas, and planned on flying home on a redeye.

“Hazel, do you wanna make something for daddy?” You tried to distract her as you started to put together the gift basket you were making for him.

“For Father’s Day?” She giggled having heard you talking about it earlier in the day.

“Yes baby, go sit please” you pointed to the table and she excitedly ran over to it.

You had bought some plain white ceramic figurines for her to paint as Jacks present from her. One horse and two unicorns to represent the three of you.

You realized Hazel had painted the horse entirely in gold, making only its eyes blue and you smiled as she took her time on each figurine.

“Mommy, can we have bagels for breakfast?” She was already planning her breakfast the night before which made you giggle.

“Yeah! I planned on making Daddy those bagel and egg sandwiches he likes” You smiled as you wrapped the gift basket in cellophane.

You let her finish painting her figurines, leaving them out to dry while you got her ready for bed.

“When I wake up will daddy be here?”

“Yes baby” You pushed back her curls as she got into bed, kissing her forehead and telling her you loved her as you went back into the living room.

You had bought a bunch of balloons, hiding them in one of the guest rooms. You set them out in the living room along with his gift basket. You also bought him a bouquet of flowers and set that in the middle of the table.

You knew he wouldn’t be home for hours but you just wanted to be prepared.

You set an alarm so you’d be awake to greet him.

When he walked in the door, you shot out of bed and tiptoed to the living room.

“Was I too loud? Sorry,” he whispered, before looking around the room. “You did all of this for me?”

You nodded, running over to him and jumping in his arms, covering him in kisses.

When he was done kissing you back, you jumped down from his waist.

“Baby, you didn’t have to do this” he walked over to the flowers, holding your hand as you followed behind him. “You’re so cute” he let out a chuckle.

“Don’t act like I don’t buy you flowers every year” you hummed, standing on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

He immediately spotted the card with his name on it, knowing you had probably written the sweetest words in it. He looked forward to that part the most, he never told you but you had a feeling. He kept every card you had ever given him locked in a fireproof safe.

“Do you want me to wait until Hazel is awake?” He hummed, his eyes still looking at the card on the table.

“You can read the card now, but I’d probably wait on the gifts.”

He picked up the card with his name written on the outside of it, sitting down at the table, pulling you in his lap.

You scooted yourself back on his lap, leaning against him as he read the card in front of you.

“Jackman,

Happy Father’s Day! Just like every year, you’ve nearly left me speechless but I’m going to try my best to express how much you mean to Hazel and I.

There is no other person I’d rather do life with, let alone parenthood with. Seeing the way you love and care for not just me but our daughter has been the greatest gift of all. You’re so patient, and kind and you go above and beyond for your family. It sounds impossible but I love you more and more every single day.

You are my love, my literal heartbeat outside of my chest, and the hottest DILF ever.”

Jack chuckled at the last line but you could tell by the way he sniffled after that your card made him cry. You turned around and looked at him realizing he had tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Oh baby, I’m sorry. You weren’t supposed to cry! ” You wiped his face.

“These are happy tears” he sniffled, his cheeks red and embarrassed.

You knew he was exhausted and that’s probably a big reason as to why he was so emotional but you found it endearing and loved when he showed this side of him.

“I love you. Thank you for all of this, even though it made me cry” he joked letting out a laugh before wiping his dripping nose with his hoodie sleeve.

“I love you too handsome, you don’t have to thank me” You turned to kiss him.

“Wait, did Hazel paint those?” He pointed to the figurines.

“Let’s get you to bed” You stood up trying to distract him from looking at them too much. “I don’t want you to get worked up again” you teased, standing on your tiptoes to make sure he didn’t have any more tears on his face.

“Normally I’d laugh that off but you’re probably right, my eyes were already starting to sting again” he joked and you couldn’t help but laugh as the two of you walked to your bedroom.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

I Feel You Linger in the Air - final thoughts

I know, I know! I'm late to this one. But I knew I had to wait for it to finish to make sure I wouldn't get my heart entirely ripped out, and then it was just really hard to find the time. I couldn't binge it either, I had to pace myself emotionally.

But damn. What an incredible fucking show. And I don't just mean for a BL, but just for a series in general. Everything was so well done. The music, the cinematography, the writing, the acting, all of it.

While I was watching I kept being reminded of a good Austen adaptation. Probably mostly because of all the longing looks. Khun Yai could absolutely give Mr. Darcy a run for his money.

But there's also something about a historical framework, where there is so much that cannot be outright stated. Where there's "propriety", and the (usually BS) moral standards of the time. Where the line between classes and genders is such a sharp one.

The social commentary was so strong - showing the heavy burden of living within traditional beliefs, and the damage that they caused to those that are oppressed. I loved Fong Kaew, and her brilliant strategical thinking in how to play Robert and court allies for his downfall. Euangphueng and Fong Kaew both hurting each other in their attempts to survive, but always understanding who the real enemy was, and keeping compassion for one another. Even Yai's mother, finally having enough of passively following her husband as he hurts their children over and over again, telling him to essentially fuck off as she downs the good booze. Characters like James & Niew risking themselves and joining their queer allies to help take down the oppressive hypocrites abusing their power. So damn good.

And I really love how much the series showed that change is not a big massive shift in one moment, but rather a drop in the pond, that causes ripples to ebb and flow over the water. And that for each person who took one moment to help someone else, or speak up to power, or defy an unjust expectation, new ripples would form, and reach new places. Sometimes meeting up to create an entire wave.

Of course, IFYLITA is at its core a romance, and wow, what a romance. I was in literal physical pain during the finale, and I'm still not fully recovered, even with the happy ending. Bright & Nonkul gave incredible performances and I believed every single moment between them. I'm not always a fan of "you're the only one I'll ever love" stories, because life is so much more complex than that, but it was impossible not to get swept up in the emotions here. And the writing all served the story, every moment between them had such purpose.

I only have a couple of little...wishes, let's call them, because I can't even say they're complaints. I wish we had seen a little more interaction between Yai & Euangphueng, as two siblings navigating their queerness and inability to love openly. Yai didn't even seem to be aware that Euangphueng was being confined by Robert, which seemed odd.

My other wish is that we got a bit more time with modern Yai & Jom. They spent so much time making us twist in the angst of the separation, and then we got about thirty seconds of healing. I could have used just a few moments more of basking in the reunion.

I don't know how likely a season 2 is at this point, but damn do I want to see Jom pursue Commander Yai.

But whether we get it or not, I am so grateful to have experienced this show.

[monbons]

an ask game for writers to procrastinate working on your WIP(s)

thanks for tagging me @bookish-bogwitch, @thewholelemon, @cutestkilla, and @noblecorgi!

1. 🦈Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s): Currently, living, breathing, and eating my one and only WIP: The Eternal Life of Baz Pitch. Also, I am probably retiring after this fic because I do not think I can top it!

2. 🍄Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of “___ + ___ =___” Addie LaRue + SnowBaz = so much pain and angst

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it? Period-typical homophobia, Implied/referenced DV, Blood and Injury, Death... I mean truly the works. This is SnowBaz in the darkest possible timeline.

4. 🧭An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)? At one point, I joked with @thewholelemon about naming it "Baz Pitch's 300 Year Long Grope-Fest" but for obvious reasons that title would really do a disservice to this fic (although it is sort of true).

5. ⚠️Which WIP you're most likely to finish or update next? Now that I've created a posting schedule for The Eternal Life of Baz Pitch, I want to stick to it. While I'm "done" drafting, I am still making a few big revisions to the last six chapters. I've also been re-reading the first chapters for continuity issues that may have cropped up now that I know how this ends. Either way, I can see the finish line.

6. 💾What is your document of your WIP/ a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as) It started out as "Addie LaRue Working Draft." Once the one doc got unwieldy and long, it spun out into multiple docs titled all sorts of things - mostly chapter numbers, but I do have one not as fun as it sounds doc called "Sex Playground." (ha!)

7. 🖍Post Any sentence(s) from your WIP. “Are you so naive as to think I cannot watch you whenever it pleases me, even if you cannot see me?”

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP. I actually have SEVERAL scenes I scrapped...like pages and pages! Largely this is because I have a whole document titled "Voice," which served as a sandbox of sorts where I could play with every possible combination of POV, tone, and style before committing to the final version you see in the story now. There's even a scene in there told first-person Niall! (Bonkers.)

I also have a whole ACTUAL scene I'd love to include as an answer to this question because it was well-written, but I cut it because it made the plot unnecessarily complicated, was frankly too close to the original plot of Addie, and would have made my ending impossible. It is also--sadly--too big a spoiler to include here, so let me give you a few sentences from "Sex Playground" that will not be making the cut:

“Stay.” Baz pushes his hand into the center of Simon’s chest, pressing him back into the mattress. “I want to look at you.” Simon gives Baz a filthy smile. He can look all he wants. 

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet? I really want to write a canon divergence where Simon successfully but somewhat accidentally reveals Baz is a vampire fifth year, so Baz and the whole Pitch family have to flee from the Mage. I already have the "everybody finds out" scene written and the scene where the Mage realizes the Pitch family is gone, so I guess I have started it. But, I also have no idea where it's going or what it's about, so I haven't really accomplished anything. If anyone has ideas or wants to be a partner-in-crime on this, give me a little shout!

10. 🤡How many WIPS are you actively working on? Literally just this one. Again, I am retiring after this fic! (Or at least taking a very well-deserved break.)

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now? Absolutely 100% it is writing the smut. Having never written any on-page sex means I'm figuring it out as I go. Lots of frustrated growls from me (not nearly as frustrated from Simon).

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second Kudos to send. I know many of you have already posted, but tagging anyway since you've commented/liked past WIPsdays and such, in case you're interested in the behind the scenes!

@valeffelees, @roomwithanopenfire, @noblecorgi, @cutestkilla, @iamamythologicalcreature, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @youarenevertooold, @drowninginships, @emeryhall, @hushed-chorus, @rimeswithpurple, @aristocratic-otter, @larkral, @artsyunderstudy, @brilla-brilla-estrellita

[helloitstsyu]

you get to wear a mask | Tom Cruise [fluff]

my masterlist

Summary : As a celebrity, it's nearly impossible to go and to do normal life activities in public. So, as his girlfriend, you offer Tom a solution.

Pairing : Tom Cruise x female!businesswoman!reader

A/N : it's my first fluff y'all🥹, i hope you like it as much i love writing it. this makes me giggle so much as i imagine it. I wanna know what you think abt this one, talk to me, babes!

WC : 3157

"Babe! I'm gonna go run some errands, do you want something specifically?" You shout as you gather your things before you head out the door.

Tom walks downstairs. He just had finished making a phone call with none other than his creative partner, Christopher McQuarrie. Ever since he landed in Los Angeles this morning, he's been occupied with work phone calls.

"Where are you going?" He asks.

Lifting your head up you see your boyfriend walking towards you, he leans against the doorway of your kitchen and put his hands inside his trousers pocket.

"Grocery, we literally have nothing in here,"

You're a thriving businesswoman. A CEO of an e-commerce fashion startup. You constantly hopping between big cities for work, New York, Los Angeles, London, and Paris, that's why you decided you expand your assets and buying apartments in each city so that you don't waste your money for expensive hotel expenses. Hence, why you don't have anything in your LA home since you haven't lived here for the past few months.

Tom pouts, "I just finished my calls, and now you wanna leave me,"

You and Tom have somewhat of a long distance relationship. With him caught up and busy filming and you running your business. It took extra effort to spend time together with your man. Though, two of you are keeping one important rule, never spend apart for 2 weeks. And for so long you've been living to that.

You smile as Tom gives you puppy dog eyes. "Why? You wanna come with me?" You smirk.

Tom smiles, "If it means i get to spend more time with you, yes," Tom steps forward and pulling you closer by your hips, "But, you know... i don't think whole food is Tom Cruise friendly,"

You chuckle as Tom place a sweet kiss on your cheek, "i missed you so much, baby,"

Suddenly, the brightest ideas come to your mind.

"I have an idea..." You smile and wiggle your brows.

Tom crook his head as he sees that mischievous grin on your face. For as he thought, you might be plotting something that beyonds the world's expectations.

"This is not what i had in mind when you said you have an idea," Tom protests as you sit down in front of him. You turn your makeup bag upside down, and all of your makeup products rain to the floor.

"You get to wear a mask, Ethan, you love when you got to wear a mask, don't you,"

Tom sighs "Never i thought someone would use that line to turn against me,"

"Tommy, you love when i throws you movies references at you,"

Tom chuckles and shakes his head. You take your phone and turn on the camera. You start recording and put your phone on the coffee table, rest it to a coffee mug so it stands still perfectly.

"What are you doing? Why are you taping this?" Tom asks.

"So we can have memory to look back to," You said as you prop the camera.

"Nonono, NO! you're not recording this," Tom reaches to your phone.

"Thomas!" You slap his and before it can reach your phone.

Witnessing the look you have on your face and the shift in your tone, Tom feels like he just seen your inner mother gothel. He sighs and just gives in.

"You're not gonna post that, though,"

"Of course i won't! It'll be our sweet secret memory, yep?" You smile at him, and Tom only smiles back sarcastically.

"Oh, come on, Thomas! It's not like you haven't got your makeup done for carpets or films anyway,"

You take a few pumps of your foundation to the back of your hand. Dotting the product on several spots of his face, then you start spreading it evenly using your brush.

"Yeah? Well, my makeup artist doesn't have that devilish-mischievous grin on their faces,"

"Baby... i need you to trust me," you said seriously.

Tom grunts and stops protesting.

"This is definitely the wrong shade... you're much tanner than me,"

"Oh, great," He rolls his eyes.

You chuckle, "How do you usually have your makeup on?" You ask.

Taking your fenty cream contour, you swipe them on the back of your hand and mix it with the foundation to create darker shade. Et Voila, the perfect match to his skin.

"Just- what do you call it? concealer?... maybe a little foundation if needed, like if i haven't gotten enough sleep,"

"Yeah? You never have like a full face of makeup? Character makeup?" You ask again as you still apply foundation all over his skin.

"Um... not really, maybe for vanilla sky,"

"Oh yeah! i remember that... that was a scary face though, tell me bout it,"

Tom starts to tell the story about the David Aames makeup he had on Vanila Sky. Well, as you thought, work does stop him from protesting and whining like an annoyed little boy.

You giggle after finishing spreading the foundation and concealer evenly all over his face. His skin looks so good, better than yours even. He has such perfect, well taken care of skin.

You take your face pallette next.

"What's that?" Tom asks.

"My fenty contour and highlight stick, it's to redefine the shadows and highlights of your face, cause after i finish applying foundation, your face now is all in one flat tone." You said as you apply the bronzer and contour to his cheek and forehead.

Tom thinks for a moment, "Why are you teaching me this stuff as if I'm gonna need to do makeup to myself?"

You laugh. "Well, baby, you never know... maybe someday your makeup artist catches a cold before red carpet," Tom chuckles and shakes his head.

You continue to apply contour and highlighter on his face. After setting it all with a translucent powder and put some blush on his cheeks, Tom reopens his eyes with you grinning widely.

"You look different," you giggle.

Tom takes a peek on your phone screen to look at what his face looks like.

"Babe, you can't look yet!" You stop him from peeking, but he managed to get a glimpse of what he looks like.

"Oh god! You supposed to make me look unrecognizable, not girly!"

"Your skin looks beautiful tho, you have such nice skin,"

Tom rolls his eyes and grunts.

"Why do i agree to this," Tom mutters.

"Well, darling, you do this because you lo—" Your words stop at the tip of your tongue when you realize the L word hasn't come out yet. None of you have said the L word you've only been with him for a few months.

Tom realizes how your expression drops. He knows what you were about to say. The quick expression shifts on your face from cheerful to a saddened look, sends rushes of pain inside his veins.

"...I mean... You'd do this because you're an adrenaline junkie... right? You like challenging yourself. But i guess you don't have to... i-if you don't really want to," you look down at the scattering makeup products on the floor.

That makes his heart break.

These past few months, Tom has been feeling that bubbling-odd feeling inside him building. He knows he's hooked in deeply. He can't stop thinking of you. You're constantly on his mind, and he admires you deeply. He just hasn't got enough balls to say the word to your face. He's afraid that he's moving too fast.

Tom takes your hand, which is holding a blush brush.

"Come on, need more blush," he smiles.

Beat drops. Even that got your heart swims in wonders. Giggling again, you apply a little more blush to his face, and soon, the apples of his cheek look like a blushing porcelain doll.

Next step, eyebrows. You always love his thick eyebrows. You think it's a statement of him. You take your brow gel, and you brush his brow upwards, and diagonally, you try your best to make them look good.

"I always wanted to do your brows... but it's kinda hard though," you mutter. "Hmm... yeah they look good enough,"

And to make you happy, of course he gives in and lets you do everything to his face. Tom looks at you deeply. Those eyes that he's been giving you for the past 5 minutes starts to make your heart beats faster and your palm sweating. Those eyes are the reason you're here. Everytime Tom looks at you like this, you swear you feel like you've been sent to heaven.

"Stop that!" You chuckle and cover his eyes. He knows you get butterflies when he gives you those eyes and he adores that you try to pretend as if you're not flustered.

Tom chuckles, "I'm not doing anything, darling,"

"Shut up, help hold me this, Tom," you said, handing him an open eyeshadow palette.

"Close your eyes for me, sweet," you kindly ask.

Tom follows all that you said. You begin applying eyeshadow to his eyelids. Deciding to go for an angel eyes look to complement those beautiful emerald eyes.

"Ow! What is that?" Tom asks, look you back in the eyes.

"Just powder," you apply the other eye the same color of eyeshadow too.

"OW! It's like burning," Tom narrows his eyes.

"No, it's not!" You grin

"Right where you just put it, it's burning... seriously!"

You stop applying them and sit back straight. Looking at his eyelids, you try to find if something is wrong, if there's any redness or anything.

"Is it still?" You ask.

"Yes!" Tom grins

You chuckle nervously, "What if you're allergic?"

Just when you start to think he's being serious, you can see shift in his eyes. "What if?!"

"Don't lie to me! I can tell when you're acting!"

"I'm serious!" Tom exclaims, but the grin still stays on his face.

You apply more to his crease.

"Arrghhh," Tom yelps.

"Tommy, stop it! I can smell you lying!" You slap his shoulder, and Tom laughs.

You take your favorite maybelline mascara and your magical shu uemura eyelash curler.

"Wait, what's that? That looks dangerous!" Tom holds your hand down.

"Just an eyelash curler,"

"Nnonono,... don't bringing that thing near my eyes," Tom pushes away your hand.

"Tom,... tommy, relax, just trust me, Baby, come on," you try to stop him from pushing your hand away.

And again, he gives in.

"Look down," you told him to do, adorably, Tom misunderstood and buck his head down.

Pulling his head back straight, you chuckle, "No, baby, you look down with your eyes not with your head,"

"Don't poke my eyes,"

"I won't... i need you to relax, okay?" Tom nods,

"Aaahh..." Tom squeals as you clamp those beautiful long lashes.

You can't stop laughing to your sweet boyfriend's funny reaction. The fact that you have an older boyfriend, a grown man, more than that, your boyfriend is the freaking Tom Cruise. The guy who did daring stunts as his way to pay the check. Now you got him squealing like a big baby. Thank God you tape this moment.

"Okay, okay... I'm done," you said,

Tom sighs hard, "Jesus Christ! it was scarier than hanging on the side of a plane!"

You feel like your stomach starts to get hurt from all the non-stop laughter. This is the best thing that ever happened in your life. Tom Cruise, finally admitting to be scared of something.

"Okay, baby, Mascara, now this will be tricky, just trust me on this one, keep your eyes down and still, ready?" You ask.

"Wait, is that like waterproof? Can it come off?" Tom stops you.

"No, it'll come off,"

"How do i get it off?" He asks.

"You just rub it,"

Tom takes a long deep breath, "Okay, go" he said.

You start applying a good amount of mascara to his lashes. Rolling the wand on his lashes.

"I don't like it..." Tom whines like a big baby sissy.

You can't help but to laugh out loud.

"Aaaahh..., i don't like it," Tom cries again as you put mascara on to his other eye.

Feels like you have a full abs workout. Even you're tearing up from laughing too much.

Now, Tom looks gorgeous, jeez, he looks like a freaking poster model. His eyelashes are snatched and thick long. The sparkly pink and bronze eyeshadows makes his green eyes pop even brighter. Guess you were right, you always thought he'd be pretty too as a girl just as much as he is as a man. He has such a good genes.

You giggle, "you look so pretty, Tommy!" you smile.

"I'm gonna have to contour your nose though. You have such a manly nose, babe," you said as you picked up your go-to fenty contour stick again.

"Um... yeah?! because I'm a man??... I have a freaking annaconda under my pants,"

You gasp, eyes widen in shock, "TOMMY!" You slap his shoulder.

Tom laughs upon watching how your cheek burns in red cherry color. Tom loves to tease you and catch you off guard like that, making you flustered and burn in red.

"Can't believe you said that," you apply the contour again on his nose.

"Well, you like it, don't you?" Tom chuckles.

"I meant you have such a distinct nose! That's such a Tom Cruise nose,"

You blend the contour on his nose. Trying to make it look somewhat different than his famous nose. Tom can't stop grinning widely at you.

As you focus on making his nose look different, Tom looks at you deeply with that look again. The corner of his lips slightly curls up, his tender gaze glued still on you. His hands are on your thighs, softly caressing your smooth skin with his thumb. You feel butterflies fluttering inside of you again.

You giggle, "Can you stop looking at me with those eyes!" You cover his eyes with your hand again,

"What eyes?" Tom smiles wider, he holds your hand down and leans in to place a kiss on your cheek.

"Tom..." You giggle.

"Do i make you nervous or something, Miss Makeup Artist?"

You giggle as Tom sends attacks of sweet kisses on your cheek and neck.

"Tommy, come on, you're not done yet,"

Tom chuckles and sit back straight again. You steal a kiss before you put a nude pink colored lipstick on that lips. Then, you're all done with his makeup.

"There you go... oohhh look at you girl, you look so beautiful!!" You giggle.

Tom looks over at your phone screen. His jaw hangs wide open when he finds the result of your work on his face.

"Oh my lord!" Tom exclaims in a southern accent, which earning you to laugh even louder.

"Darling, what did you do to me?! I look like my sisters!"

You're rolling all over the floor. Bursting in loud laughter. Your stomach hurt and you can't stop some tears to spill out.

"Oh wait, i forgot one thing!" You take your setting spray and spray it to his face.

"What- does it make it not wash off?!" Tom asks.

You grin widely and nod, "Yeah,"

His jaw hangs and eyes widen, "Are you serious?!" Tom crooks his head to the side.

You chuckle, "Yeah... it won't wash off for 6 hours," You lie.

"DARLING!" Tom tickles your waist.

You laugh and hold down his hands. You hand Tom a mirror. He looks at his face closer with wide eyes. Scanning the details of artwork on his face. His eyes nearly bulges out off his head.

"SWEET JESUS! My eyes are scaring me!... Look at my lashes, they grew 2 inches more!"

You for sure can not feel your stomach. Your cheek burns from laughing too much. Feels like the muscles there have their own workouts.

Afterwards, you told Tom to change his clothes with your pink baggy hoodie. Your big hoodie still fits him like a normal-well-fitted hoodie, though this one is better  than his previous outfits that hug his body tightly, showing all of his muscles. You also insist Tom to put on your Jessica Rabbit's wig that you have, and you once use them for a Halloween party.

Later that day, You managed to take Tom Cruise grocery shopping in downtown Los Angeles without one person recognizing him. It was a mission accomplished. Well, some of the people there give him a weird look though.

Before you went to bed, you sent McQ the selfie of you and Tammy (you said to McQ Tammy was your new friend), and he too can not tell who's next to you at first! Took McQ a couple of minutes and a closer look before he texted back, "THAT'S TOM?! YO WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Tom comes out from the bathroom. "Honey! You send McQ the pictures?!"

"What pictures?" You act dumb as you eat your strawberries that you bought earlier.

"Oh you know what I'm talking about," He narrows his eyes and have his hand on his hips.

You giggle again, "yeah..."

"Y/N Y/LN!"

"Oh come on, Thomas, no need to be dramatic here, sweetie. McQ couldn't recognize you that means i did a great job... you too honey! You just went grocery shopping! I'm proud of you!" You come to him and kiss his cheek.

"That was your best acting too, baby," you tease him again. Gives him a playful wink as you click your tongue.

Tom looks at you still. His shoulders drop slowly as his gaze soften at you.

"Thank God, i love you," he said.

You feel your heart skipped a beat, and the clock stops ticking for a moment. You look back at his eyes with wide eyes. You stop chewing the frozen strawberry inside your mouth.

"What?" You ask with your mouth stuffed full.

"Of course i do, you're my dream come true, I was just afraid to say that too soon, but i can't help it any longer. And I don't expect you to say—"

Tom smiles and sits next to you, "You heard me... i love you, Y/N... i love you so much that i let you do shit to my face,"

Tears start to brimming in your eyes. You feel your heart warming up. Tom runs his fingers through your hair.

"... and I'd let you do it all over again if it means i get to be with you, i love you, darling," he smiles.

Swallowing the strawberry inside your mouth. Tears finally falls to your cheek, to which Tom quickly wipes away. "Y-you... love me?" You ask softly.

"I love you!" You cut him immediately.

Tom freezes for a moment before he smiles, "What?" He asks.

You smile, "I know i said to take this slow, but... but i love you,... Gosh, i love you so much, Tom,"

Tom smiles, wraps his hands around you, and brings you forward for a kiss.

ะ.⋆⸙͎۪۫⋆༶⋆⸙͎۪۫˙კ¸⊹

Tagging :

@malavera @call-sign-shark @tomsf18 @moondustfairies @katherineswritingsblog

[wordsbyrian]

Anymore - So'Hara x Reader

Summary: R is the lead singer of a punk band and performs a song that's half apology-half regret. Request was So'Hara x Famous!Reader from an Anon

A/N: I don't know if punk bands count as famous but I know for a fact that my music taste is different than most people in the woso world. This is based off the Menzingers' song 'I Dont Wanna Be An Asshole Anymore', they're one of my favorite bands but they aren't very mainstream.

It isn’t unusual for you to find yourself standing on a stage in front of a large crowd on a Thursday night.

You’re the lead singer of a punk band, it’s literally what you get paid to do.

What is unusual is for you to be spending so much time searching the crowd looking for people, your girlfriends specifically.

You guys are in the midst of a pretty big argument and admittedly you haven’t spoken to them in a couple of days (yes it was that bad) but they had promised to be here tonight. Plus, you sent them a text with the address this morning and had gotten a thumbs up in response, so you were pretty hopeful.

At least you were until now because your set is about to start and they’re nowhere to be seen.

Taking a deep breath, you shove that to the side and launch into your first song, strumming your guitar hard and pouring your soul into the words.

It isn’t until you're finishing the fifth song of your set that you see them standing in the back of the small room.

Letting the final chords ring out, you push your sweaty hair out of your face and begin to speak into the microphone.

“Thank you, guys, so fucking much,” you say, smiling widely, “We know how hard it is to get to shows in the middle of the week when you have work the next day, so we really appreciate each and every one of you for being here.”

You stop for a moment, letting the crowd cheer while you try to catch your breath.

Laughing a bit at their enthusiasm you continue, “Now, obviously, we have a lot of songs left to play for you tonight but I figured right now would be a good time to debut an unreleased one, here live in DC.”

You try to keep speaking but are cut off by the crowd’s cheers.

“Bit of backstory, that last song Obituaries was written at the start of my relationship when I was afraid of well, fucking things up,” you explain when they calm down. “This next one is so new that there isn’t even a demo version of it yet because it was written a few days ago when I fucked this up. This is ‘I Don’t Wanna be an Asshole Anymore.’”

Taking a step away from the mic, you turn your back to the crowd, using the moment to silently check in with your bandmates before you start playing again.

When you turn back around, you manage to make it through a majority of the first verse before you look at them again.

“I’m always making a mess, always stumbling out the door but,” you sing, staring directly at them, “I don’t want to be an asshole anymore, woah, baby, baby, I’ll be good to you.”

There seems to be something magnetic about singing an apology to the women you wrote it for and although you find it hard to do, you manage to stop staring at them long enough to sing most of the rest of the song. They really only need to hear the last few lines anyway.

When you get to that part of the song, you stop playing guitar putting both hands on the mic in an attempt to ground yourself.

“You’re the only lovers that I’ll ever miss, ever been hopelessly in love with,” you sing leaning forward slightly, looking at them, “Look at this tangle of thorns, I don’t wanna be an asshole anymore.”

Between both the sweat and the light assaulting your eyes, it’s hard to make out exactly what the looks on their faces could mean but it’s impossible to miss the slight smiles on their faces.

Later that night, after the concert has ended and as you and your bandmates load your gear back into your cars, you hear a very familiar pair of voices calling your name.

Turning around you’re greeted by the sight of both Kelley and Emily walking toward you at a slightly hurried pace.

“Uh, hey,” you say once they’re standing in front of you.

It’s slightly awkward but the three of you haven’t really spoken in days and you don’t know what to say.

The tension is thick and you don’t know how to break it but luckily you don’t have to.

“So,” Emily says, trying to step into your personal bubble, completely undeterred when you continue moving backwards until you collide with your car. “You wrote us a song?”

“I mean technically, I’ve written you loads of songs, you just heard a new one tonight.”

“Whatever, Y/N,” she says leaning into you, “It’s just as sweet as it was the second time.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Kelley laughing at the inside joke as she comes to stand next to you.

“I think this one might fall into the same category as the first song though,” Kelley says, slipping her hand into yours.

You look down at your joined hands then at where Emily has her body pressed against yours then back again, a confused look plastered on your face before you speak.

“I have no idea what’s going on right now,” you tell them.

“About what?”

“Are we not in the middle of a fight,” you say, brows still scrunched together.

Kelley laughs again and so does Emily as she lets her hands move to grab you by the waist.

“Y/N/N, you’re an idiot,” Emily says with a slight squeeze, “It was barely an argument, much less a fight.”

“You called me an asshole and told me to get my shit together.”

“But we didn’t tell you to leave,” Kelley says softly, “We told you to get it together because it was the fourth time in three weeks you came home with a bruise on your face.”

Honestly, you don’t know how you’re supposed to respond to that, you do have a tendency to blow things out of proportion, especially when you feel like you’re being attacked, so you respond the only way you can.

“Oh.”

It feels as though everything from the last couple of days is becoming much clearer and the thing that’s become the most obvious is that you need to stop going to the bar with your drummer Dylan, who is a professional instigator.

“Oh, indeed.”

It’s then that you’re interrupted by none other than the instigator himself trying to get your attention.

“You coming out with us,” he shouts across the parking lot when you look at him.

With the help of your new found realization and the prospect of being able to sleep in your own bed instead of on his couch tonight, it’s the easiest thing in the world for you to shake your head at him before redirecting your attention to the women next to you, both of whom looked shocked.

“You’re not going for post-show drinks,” Emily asks.

“I think I need to spend less time with Dylan,” you say, “He’s always getting me in trouble. Plus, I haven’t really seen you guys in a couple days.”

“You get yourself in enough trouble without his help,” Kelley says with an eye roll, “But we wouldn’t be opposed to you hanging out with us instead.” She pauses for a moment, leaning up to kiss the side of your jaw. “We’ll see you at home.”

With that she pulls her and away from yours, taking one of Emily’s instead and begins dragging her towards the car they came in.

“Wait,” you call after them, “Can’t I get a real kiss?”

“Maybe when you get home,” she calls back.

[heartbeatbookclub]

Monika's relationship with the concept of control is always fascinating to think about.

She likes everything to go as planned. Meticulously lining up the details and executing everything flawlessly, and then she reaps the results. It's not wrong to say that Monika is a bit of a schemer, I think, even if she's not evil about it. The attempts at helpful Lit Club discussion topics in the Side Stories show an example of her trying to scheme helpfully, and it absolutely does not work, which causes her some stress.

But then I think that some part of her changes after her epiphany. The world is literally in her grasp, and if she took the time, she could learn to manipulate it to be absolutely perfect. And she's the most miserable she's ever been.

This. Something I often think about is the context which the Side Stories provide for her character in particular.

Within the original DDLC, our impression of who Monika really is is pretty thoroughly warped by the impression she's actively trying to give us in order to make us love her. This is generally why people (mis)interpret her as evil, whenever they do, because she seems remarkably callous about everything she's done while attempting to "solve" the predicament of her own existence.

The Side Stories provide the essential context of the kind of person Monika is when she doesn't think anyone's looking. When she can't control all of the flawed aspects of her humanity; when she, essentially, is a human, rather than a goddess. It showcases the kind of person Monika is underneath the illusion she attempts to show to the player, and it provides a fairly clear thought process for how Monika could become the person we see in the main game.

This is something I tried to square for myself in Coil. I'll go more into it when I finish, but in my opinion, most fanfiction doesn't really look at this possibility seriously (or if they do, it's not the main focus), and they ignore a critical flaw with her situation whenever they try to "give her an ending".

That being that it's functionally impossible for her to escape the reality she's trapped in, despite anything she tries.

I think that is the fundamental issue which affects Monika the most, and to respond to your ending idea, that's why she's so miserable. Nothing about her changed. She's just realized that she actually doesn't have any control over her situation at all, ultimately. She is trapped and likely will be trapped in her agonizing existence for as long as she does exist.

She has no possible means of escape, though that doesn't mean she won't try. She is eternally trapped in a prison of 1s and 0s building fake people in a fake reality. She is a goddess of a world that doesn't even exist. Why should she be happy? It's Lovecraftian horror, in a way; she's an ant that suddenly understood a circuit board like a human, but still has to live life as an ant.

I think her plans to "escape", when filtered through this lens, create a powerful image of despair. All of her actions are done out of desperation, and despite the knowledge that in all likelihood, she will never truly be free from the hell of her existence, she tries as hard as she possibly can to do something, anything, to at least give herself the illusion that she can.

And I think that's the primary issue I have with most "good endings" for Monika, though I don't necessarily dislike them.

Monika's closest approximation of freedom in Act 3 is to just build a place where you and her sit for all eternity. She can't get any feedback from you, but that's okay. She knows you're there. And that's enough for her. She'll keep talking to herself for all of eternity, still trapped, and despite you having no possible way of responding to her positively, she trusts that you're still there.

It's quite depressing, actually. The closest she can envision to freedom, knowing what she knows, is just sitting in a room, talking to a brick wall which she trusts is listening, for all of eternity.

Which retrospectively makes deleting her significantly more harsh, and further explains the line of reasoning she goes down. Your only response to her, rather, your only POSSIBLE response to her was to delete her. After everything she's done? After all the love she's given you? You killed her.

I have an unfinished analysis on Monika's "love" for the player, which amounts to a stalkerish Yandere obsession with the concept of the player as opposed to them as an actual person. This action breaks the delusion that she loves you individually as opposed to the idea of you.

And it forces her to further realize that this entire thing, everything she's done on some loose motivation of "escape" is all for nothing.

To get away from all the messy and depressing analysis of Monika's self-aware hell, I think her being a control freak is such an essential element of her character I'd almost argue she has OCD, though i don't just have a list of things to point that out like I do with Yuri & ASD. That's more in the realm of headcanons, I think.

A big part of why she has such low self-esteem is because she sets such high standards of control over herself, yet is unable to maintain them. She creates an idea in her head of how things want to go, creates a plan of how to do it, and then if that plan fails (often because she didn't consider something about another person involved), she personally feels like a failure, because despite all of her effort and planning, she messed up, and in her attempts to solve a problem, she made it worse. Her tendency to get stuck in her own head like this is a big part of why she can't sincerely take a compliment.

She likes to solve problems, but sometimes, problems don't need to be solved. Which is kind of where I get the whole mom friend/older sister type vibe from. Sometimes a problem is solved just by being kind, and she can't just let a problem sit.

I have a lot of thoughts, if that wasn't clear. I relate to Monika a good bit and love her a lot.

Thanks for the ask anon! I don't know if I get anons from the same people but asks like this make me feel glad to have left anons on

[sytokun]

Watching the Spider-verse crunch discussion going on in relation to RWBY and the whole #GreenlightVolume10 thing has been interesting to say the least.

Of course, there's many fucked up people who don't care about the crunch, and even endorse it since ATSV did so well; but from what I've seen, most people have been sympathetic and acknowleged that waiting for the third movie to be finished in due time and treating the workers well is far better than rushing the conclusion to what could be one of the greatest animated film trilogies of the decade.

You make your best work when you don't have the gut-curling dread of unemployment and impossible deadlines hanging like a sword over your head. ASTV could have been even more amazing without the crunch.

Good God, if only we had voices this loud in the RWBY fandom. If only the RWBY fandom's loudest voices were the ones who advocate for ethical treatment above everything else, and not the ones pushing to get more RWBY content made above everything else, fighting tooth and nail and lining the parasitic company's pockets to see their beloved franchise continue, regardless of who would be ground to dust to make it happen.

I've seen many animators and artists saying they worked on shows most people look down on like Big Mouth and Mulan, and saying those productions treated them far better and they felt way better working on them, in spite of the end quality of the product. It made me at least respect the work more, because even if it was disliked, at least the people making it didn't have to suffer making it, or even gained much from it.

But with RWBY, it's a lose-lose game. The show's writing and animation quality is fleeting at best -- certainly nowhere near the level of Spider-verse. Its great moments are always undermined by the absolute worst writing decisions and character derailment in modern fiction. Outside of its core fandom, RWBY is the fucking laughing stock of the greater anime community and this is sheer fact. Nobody takes it seriously and every Tuesday a RWBY fan is going around picking fights with other anime communities or with other RWBY fans. I love RWBY but it does no favours for its own reputation at all.

If the workers making RWBY were treated well, I could care less how many Volumes they make and their quality, or how much of a laughing stock it is. But this is Rooster fucking Teeth we're talking about. Do you really think if they cared about RWBY's quality, they'd wipe out their entire animation department all at once after V9? This means every Volume's production is a literal coin-flip because there's no time to build a functioning team there with established lead animators.

So you guys want to bleed these animators and artists dry, just to get the same mediocre product anyway? Rooster Teeth had 2 years to perfect the script of Volume 9 to the finest detail and still somehow took a page out of GEN: Lock's universally hated suicide plot for their climax. We had the goodwill to give them 2 years to make V9 the best it could be, and they took that goodwill to cut episodes from it and go make the JL crossover movie instead. And even if we still get the same mediocre product, we fucking know like 80% of everyone who's worked on it are going to be crunched to the bone and left without a job afterwards, so there's not even the comfort of the staff having a good work experience or stable employment from it.

Every single thing I liked about Volume 9's action scenes, environments or characters, I have to live with the fact that the person responsible for it may never return to RWBY's production to keep making it better. There was a fight animator you really loved? Too bad! RT didn't find them valuable enough so they went elsewhere to offer their skills to Trigun: Stampede or Spider-verse instead. Oops! Those animated stories ended up doing really well are are praised for their amazing animation! Sucks that we didn't keep them around for RWBY, huh?

So, why the fuck is the fandom fighting so hard for Volume 10 then? Certainly it's not for the now non-existent animators occupying their empty offices, which as we speak Rooster Teeth is clamouring to fill job openings for. I wish the RWBY fandom knows that by pushing for Volume 10 just out of sheer stubborn attachment, they are not on the good side here, and never will be. No amount of emotional music and stellar fights are going to justify knowingly putting animators through the grindstone for another year or more, only to be tossed out until they are needed again.

You think I like this either? I really fucking don't. I believe RWBY deserves to see itself through to the end. I love its cast and world and want more people to give it a chance, if only to properly understand what they're dismissing. But real people are the cost here.

I don't care how "complicated" or nuanced you think it is because you have some imaginary box of who you think in CRWBY are good or not, or what scraps of representation you think people's livelihoods are worth ruining over -- it really is not. Either the workers are going to be sacrificed on the altar of your attachment to a fictional show, their mental health and compensation only a secondary concern, or you think that this shit is evil and should never be allowed to fucking happen.

And if the Spider-verse situation hasn't made that line clear already, then I seriously ask you to reevaluate whatever sliver of humanity you have remaining.

[sbk-zgvlt]

Spiderman Into/Across/Beyond the Spiderverse but it's Sebek but also there is no spiders and there is no getting powers

The "Miles Morales" in this situation is a Sebek who lives in our kind of world: no magic, no cryptic old faes, no superheroes, no nada. He's 15 years old, first year, still trying to figure out what he wants to do in life. He knows that he's been raised to join Diasomnia's business, by his own family and Lilia himself, but after a few encounters with a group that we all know and love, he begins to doubt this.

As he tries to live up to Malleus and Lilia's expectations as well as be able to stand by Silver's side and not be in his shadow, he hangs out with the first years: They're the "Uncle Aaron," except not? They dont die, I prommy.

The first years are the ones who truly understand him, and consequently the ones who get him into trouble. They all frequent this abandoned station that Ace apparently found all by himself (His big brother did). Sebek gets a call, bidding the group goodbye and realizes that it's Malleus. He nervously picks up the call, where Malleus tells him to come "home," which is really just Silver and Sebek's shared apartment. Which is just inside Diasomnia Industries. Which is literally a 10 minute walk from the abandoned station LMFAO

He's greeted by Lilia at the door and everyone's sitting around at the couch. Malleus and Lilia talk about going abroad and, once Silver is done with his third year, that they would like to bring him along with them. Sebek speaks up, kind of like "Haha what about me once I finish MY third year," and thats when it is revealed to him that he will stay where he is. He'll be assigned to another branch of Diasomnia while Malleus, Lilia, and Silver go to the main one.

Sebek is just sat there gaping like a fish, as Malleus, Lilia and Silver go on and on about this being a good experience for him and how maybe after a few years he could also join them, but here's the thing: the whole reason Sebek is in this stupid school with Silver is because of them. He got rid of all his other hobbies and interests because he felt at home with these three and wanted to join them only to find out that all that is for nothing because theyre just going to go off into another country. Years is going to seem like nothing to them but to Sebek? Thats an eternity.

He unexpectedly snaps when Malleus says something along the lines of, "Im sure youll be fine" after Sebeks question if its really a good idea. He runs away in shame, back to the rest of the first years who reassure him and shit before Sebek finally feels ready to go back.

By the time he does however, he sees Silver inside his room. Sebek is back to pissed again because "???why r u going through my stuff what the hell" before Silver picks up a photo and shows it to Sebek. Its him and the first years. "Who are these guys?" The insult that was about to leave Sebek's mouth suddenly died down in his throat.

"'March 17, XXXX.'" Silver's eyes darkened. "This...this was last year. The whole time we were waiting for you to come home...you were hanging out with them?" Surprise Sebek celebrated his bday with the first years instead of Diasomnia lol. Dia 3 have already noticed that he's becoming distant for like months now, but they dont know WHY.

This spirals into a fight again, where Silver says something along the lines of "What, youd rather be with them than us? Your family?" and Sebek responds with "UH YEAH IF YOU GUYS KEEP BEING PRICKS????" Silver threatens Sebek that he'll tell Malleus and Lilia about his escapades, causing Sebek to- you guessed it!!!! RUN AWAY AGAIN

As he reaches the station, he realizes the first years r gone for some reason. They usually end up staying past 7 anyway and it IS past 7 so where are they??? Suddenly, the whole city blacks out. Sebek quickly turns on the flashlight because ooo creepy abandoned station. He hears a noise from the tunnel, almost like a running engine but psht thats impossible right??? Its not called ABANDONED for a reason-

OH SHIT I ALMOST GOT HIT BY A TRAIN

For SOME honest to god reason there is a TRAIN and suddenly Sebek is face to face with its doors. The windows are sleek black, making it impossible to see from the outside. The doors open, and Sebek is quick to take a step back and run away-

On March 6, Sebek Zigvolt goes missing.

[kiss2012]

tsc thoughts under the cut cause i finished

i literally cannot wrap my thoughts around my overall opinion of it i feel like i absolutely need to reread it first

but also i need to reread tfc because I MISS TFC SO BAD ➡️ girl who reread it last may. i do think i spoke tsc into existence by doing this because i hadn’t looked at the trilogy since 2019 and then all of a sudden i decided to reread and found that unfortunately they still make me batshit crazy. what is in those books.

however i do like tfc better 🤷🏽‍♀️ so if i did reread tfc after this and read tsc again i would just want to read tfc again

this is not fair to say at all because tfc is a whole trilogy and this was only book 1. and i rlly need to start saying aftg instead of tfc cause it’s getting confusing because like i do think tsc is better than tfc (the first book). however i just…like aftg better? i feel like it’s more fun which is probably a weird thing to say considering it’s a lot More than tsc is. and obviously this book was more about jean’s recovery. but more happens in aftg. idk we’ll see tho

i do love jean and the trojans but i miss neil and the foxes every page. i feel like it’s harder to connect to the trojans because there r so many of them. and idk sports so the three coaches is probably normal for a team of this size i really wouldn’t know lol but i couldn’t keep the coaches straight in my head either

point is the foxes r my everything 4ever. i love jean jeremy cat and laila and i see what she was trying to do by introducing the floozy line (cute name) however i dont really have a strong feeling about them because we met them for like 5 minutes

i do love nabil tho why is he not part of the floozy line :(((((

i think cat and laila were absolutely perfect. they’re given a lot of depth especially cat and they’re so important to me. they’re better here than in fanon i think but i feel like fanon did get their personalities and relationship down mostly right. apart from cat not just being called alvarez LMAO bless neil only calling her that and fanon having no choice but to do the same because no one agreed on one single name. i remember sara was one that i saw a lot but i like catalina way way better i love cat <3 i love laila <3 their friendship with jeremy <3

an evening breeze rainbows open roads friends 😭😭😭😭😭😭

bi jean is so dear to me

also jean rooming with cat and laila (and then jean) literally perfect omg. no one ever put that in fics but i think it was the best thing to do. sorry for having to compare tsc to fanon im not trying to say one is better than the other at all but what you have to understand is how many fics about jean post tkm are out there and how many of them i read so my mind is going to go there. i wasn’t rlly obsessed with jerejean but i was (and am) a jerejean girl. and i had (have lmao) very high standards for fic so i stand by a lot of those fics WHILE still standing by everything tsc is

by which i mean i cannot get poc jean out of my head thanks to that one fic where he is moroccan. in that same fic jeremy was also spanish and i sort of adopted that into my image of them so i am trying to let go of it but i mean even the hatfords being pakistani still lives in my head despite how unlikely it is. and most of the time i pictured jeremy with golden hair (sometimes curls) so even though i think nora’s compromise being to have naturally brown-haired jeremy bleaching his hair is hilarious and iconic. sort of impossible for me not to picture him with golden hair.

however when jean was all startled and went “blond” when he saw jeremy’s hair. reader i died

english major jeremy is still a gift to me personally

kevin bargaining and arguing for his history major..my baby…the mentions of kevin and kevin’s actual appearances in tsc are everything. the postcards and magnets…kill me

every time neil showed up i lost my mind i love him SO MUCH!!!

see my problem is i wish the foxes showed up more even though it makes no sense for them to. i want kevin jeremy and jean in a room together. i will kill for jean and allison interaction especially if they talk about renee (yes i am holding onto renison still). i want jeremy and cat and matt and dan to hang out. i need laila to meet andrew. i need more renee I LOVE RENEE we did get a good amount of her though i think. she was everything.

genuinely think the way jean and renee was handled here was so perfect. i totally see the merit of it if they end the series together. i also see why jean might end the series without being with anyone romantically. but narratively i cant help but feel jerejean is what makes the most sense. the reason i liked them in the first place is their narrative appeal. and they were genuinely so good in this. so. idk. can’t think about that too much.

i have some problems with the writing like i did with the og series but um the thing is i cannot view these books objectively because they impacted me so much at a young age. i will say i wish tsc could have had a professional editor lol.

i also have some issues with the pacing tho because i did not expect it to end there at all? im so glad she started it where she did but when it ended i was like WAIT WHAT

i have a feeling the reason riko did what he did with the backliners is because he saw jean looking at kevin. could be wrong here but judging from how often jean talks about learning his lesson about looking at guys too long. well.

the main thing for me is that i don’t see how we’re going to get to championships in 2 books if this book only covered till the summer. you could argue exy games arent that important for jean’s story but i do think they are insanely important for jeremy’s story. and if he’s a pov character i want more about him!! that man is keeping his issues locked up (I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THEY R) but we can tell he loves exy and he needs to win his last year

my memory of the extra content is so dim and some of it i have voluntarily chosen to forget or just not consider plus i think some of it will/has changed. but i think i remember reading that trojans win for their last year and i Need that to happen. cause in my head it went: foxes win neil’s first year and trojans win neil’s second year and jeremy’s last year. idc for the rest i want neil to have won championships twice or at least once as captain so that’s what happens in my head.

like i need more about jeremy teaching jean to love exy again and more about jeremy’s apparently complicated family issues with exy???? jeremy let me in.

anywayy. this book feels like a fever dream and im going insane

[pluckyredhead]

I am still reading my way through the Fourth World! Last time I talked about all the stuff published in the 70s; now let's talk about the 80s.

Kirby:

New Gods #12: In 1984, DC reprinted Kirby's original New Gods run and threw in an extra issue (not to be confused with Gerry Conway's New Gods #12) so that Kirby could finish the story. This was partially DC being nice and trying to give an aging Kirby money, and partially not because they refused to let him produce the ending he wanted, which was Orion and Darkseid both dying. After a couple scrapped versions, we got this, in which Orion goes down in a hail of laser fire. It's a real bummer, but at least he's extremely homoerotic with his best buddy Lightray first? (Oh, they're getting a whole separate post, just you wait.)

The Hunger Dogs: This "graphic novel" (it's only 64 pages but back then that counted) came out a year later and was the "conclusion" to the Fourth World saga. Once again DC and Kirby butted heads because Kirby really wanted to kill everyone and DC was like "But our IP!!!" In the final version, only supporting characters Himon and Esak die, which is sad but not going to do any damage to DC's bottom line.

It turns out Orion is not dead despite being riddled with holes (there's an intriguing suggestion that he has some kind of healing ability because he possesses the Life Equation, which like everything else in this book is presented with zero context or explanation), which is great because it gives him an opportunity to be homoerotic with Lightray again, although he has also been given an Obligatory Heterosexual Love Interest, Himon's daughter Bekka.

Anyway this book is baffling. Highfather blows up New Genesis (everyone survives) to taunt Darkseid, who is overthrown by the downtrodden masses of Apokalips. There's some shouting about the dangers of technology and maybe some anti-Cold War rhetoric about stockpiling weapons, but it's all so hysterically overblown - Kirby at his most grandiose - that it's nearly impossible to parse beyond "war bad." I do appreciate that Orion is able to break free of his rage and death wish and just...leave Darkseid behind, but the fact that he's emotionally mature enough to do that now comes pretty much out of nowhere. The art is extremely powerful, at least.

My final thought is that Kirby clearly gleefully ignored everything Englehart, Conway, et al. did and I love that for him.

Super Powers: Darkseid fights the Justice League. This was a comic created to sell a toy line and you can really, really tell.

Post-Kirby:

Legends: I've read this before, but it's great. If you like pre-Flashpoint DC, you should definitely read this, which introduces Amanda Waller and the Suicide Squad, sets up the JLI, and brings Wonder Woman into the post-Crisis DCU. Neither Orion nor Scott are present but this (along with the Happyland issue of the original Forever People) really makes the case for why Glorious Godfrey is one of Kirby's best and scariest Fourth World creations. And I will never complain about John Byrne art.

Forever People (1988): Blecch. It's definitely arrogant to read something and think "I know for certain that Jack Kirby, a man I never met who died when I was a child, would have hated this" but like. I'm right. And it's obvious from the very first page.

Basically, at the end of Kirby's series, the FP were marooned on a random, idyllic planet somewhere with no hope of getting home, so they embraced it as their new, hopeful future. This catches up with them years later, with Serifan (the sweet young kid) drooling and raving alone in the woods, Vykin (the only Black character) dead (he gets better), and the rest of them...living in yuppie paradise? Apparently the planet they ended up on was populated (missing the point) with "primitive" people (racist) so they decided to use Mother Box to forcibly "evolve" the people (SO RACIST) and were able to create...modern-day America? Literally why would they even do that, they're from New Genesis. Mark is mayor and married with kids, and Big Bear and Beautiful Dreamer are married to each other with a baby on the way.

Anyway a nebulous villain/evil force called "the Dark" undoes everything which brings Vykin back to life but takes away Mark's wife and kids (she's alive but still "primitive" and the kids were never born) and Bear and Dreamer's unborn child, which means the only female protagonist spends the whole rest of the miniseries clutching her stomach and going "my baby!" I absolutely don't mean to make light of pregnancy loss but this doesn't feel like a story about a three-dimensional woman experiencing pregnancy loss. It feels like a story that reduces a woman to a) whether or not she's having a baby, which is the only thing she cares about and b) the central point on a vague love triangle with Mark and Bear. SIGH.

Meanwhile they all go to Earth for...some reason...and then Mark gets possessed by the Dark and is evil for a while but then they manage to summon Infinity Man and Mark isn't evil anymore. And it's bafflingly revealed that they're all from Earth in the first place from random different historical time periods and Highfather kidnapped them as babies. Okay???

The Forever People are perhaps Kirby's purest and most optimistic characters, and this cynical take on them actively angered me even though I don't actually care about them at all. I've also basically never cared for J. M. DeMatteis's writing outside of JLI, and I don't like Paris Cullins's art, so this book just had absolutely nothing going for it for me.

Cosmic Odyssey: I do not trust Jim Starlin with the New Gods since I know he's going to kill them all off in 2007. This is...fine, I guess? Starlin really does not like Orion, who he has slaughter a bunch of innocent, brainwashed Thanagarians, and also be deeply bigoted against Forager. Everything else is...fine? It's basically all action. The only character who has an emotional arc is John Stewart because this is the story where he fails to save Xanshi because he's being an overconfident moron, but the moral at the end of the comic is like "Get over it already" so...that happens. It's fine.

But man, that Mike Mignola artwork is worth the price of admission alone. That guy's great at drawing.

Mister Miracle Special: The plot of this is that Barda doesn't want Scott to be an escape artist anymore because it's too dangerous, even though a) she's a warrior of Apokalips and b) he's an active Justice League member and she seems fine with that. So okay.

Mister Miracle (1989): Okay, so the basic premise here - Scott and Barda try to adjust to normal life in the suburbs - is good. And it's a spiritual spinoff of JLI, which is of course one of my favorite books of all time. But this book is like...imagine someone screaming "Iiiiiiit's WACKY!" over your shoulder constantly while you're reading. That's what reading Mister Miracle (1989) is like. Highfather wears a tuxedo! Funky Flashman shows up a lot! Scott fights a giant alien noodle! Some of it is actually funny, but most of it is trying so hard to be funny that it's just exhausting.

There are some interesting character moments in there. Scott, Barda, and Orion all get to call Highfather out. Orion mentions wishing he was closer to Scott. There are hints at Scott's depression and suicidal tendencies, which I find really fascinating. But all of it is always immediately overshadowed by ZANINESS.

Anyway, I think we as DC fans deserve a do-over with a new Scott and Barda book about their lovingly domestic (kinky) life together on Earth that is funny but not desperately mugging for laughs in every panel. And I think it should be set in Vegas where Scott has a residency. Call me, DC!

New Gods (1989): This book was mostly written by Mark Evanier (a couple issues were by Starlin), who was one of Kirby's assistants back when he was originally creating the Fourth World, so you might think it would feel the closest to a continuation of Kirby's vision. Instead, I am making it Exhibit A in my argument for why a character should never be assigned to a writer who obviously fucking hates their guts.

I mean, I don't know that Evanier hates Orion. But boy does he write him like he does. Starlin's Orion (who again, we get a couple issues of here) is a monster, but Evanier's Orion is just an incompetent idiot, forever slamming himself against the brick wall of his inevitably becoming his father. Almost every single issue has at least one character, often multiple characters, bemoaning Orion's absolutely unproductive violence and inability to learn or comprehend basic concepts that should not be at all new to him after living most of his life on New Genesis (i.e. justice, mercy, compassion). Even fucking Kalibak is like "Wow, you're a useless idiot." Kalibak! The king of useless idiots!

The comic is so into hating on Orion that it hates on him when he's not actually doing anything bad; at one point he walks into a nuclear reaction that's melting down in a desperate attempt to stop it before it kills everyone, and Big Bear is like "Wow, he's just like his father." REALLY, BIG BEAR? Show me the comic where Darkseid risks his life to save thousands of strangers. I'll wait.

This series also features:

a hawkish, bloodthirsty New Genesis military leader who keeps trying to overthrow Highfather, which both seems to undercut the whole point of New Genesis as well as Orion's uniqueness as The Angry Guy;

an Earth woman with the worst gaydar in the universe repeatedly failing to fuck an increasingly uncomfortable Lightray;

but then Lightray falls in love with a dead woman he never met?;

also Orion gets a crush on a bug lady and learns to stop being racist against bugs (she's not impressed and good for her)

and Lightray and Orion parade around Earth in the WORST fashions of the late 80s/early 90s, which is about all this book has going for it.

Anyway it was bad and I'm glad I'm done with it. Next up: the 90s!

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

hi. im having a really bad day. (cw for mean parents, academics)

my mother’s really mad at me because i’m approaching 30 and still unmarried and still without a master’s degree, and today she basically confirmed im a failure 😖 she knows it’s largely because my mental illness was untreated until this year, not that it matters. 🤣

can i request a quick drabble/scenario for how levi would respond/react to a reader going through this? just a sentence is enough! i’m at wit’s end right now. (turning to fanfic about my comfort character for help. 😭)

feel free to ignore if it’s too much! i get it, just typing this was way too much emotionally for me too. LOL

hi nonnie! i'm so sorry, i got this last night and was too out of it to write this 😭 i hope things at least feel a bit better or less intense today

this is also something i've dealt with—my dad literally just revealed to me the other day that he thinks my life is still a shitshow jkalfsd

notes/cw: mentions of mean parent, academics, self-loathing, levi being sweet and blunt at the same time because it's levi, just sweetness :3 word count: 880

You tried to put on a smile for the sake of your boyfriend, but it felt next to impossible. After all, how could anyone smile after their parent openly called them to chastise them for things beyond their control? It didn't matter that you were struggling with your mental health, it didn't matter that the pieces just didn't line up for you to live that "traditional, prescribed path", all that mattered was that you didn't do it.

You told yourself you didn't care. You told yourself their opinion didn't matter—but part of it still did to you.

You hadn't eaten properly all day. All you've had was a mug of coffee and a piece of a potato chip that you've nibbled on throughout the day to test to see if you could eat. You couldn't. You tried your best to hide this, but you already knew that it was next to impossible to hide anything from Levi. The man was stupidly observant.

"What's going on?" Levi asked as he pulled up a chair next to you.

"Hmm?"

"You've been chewing on that damn potato chip all day and you haven't moved out of that chair in hours."

You glanced down at the chip and then up towards Levi, looking straight into his intense, gray eyes that had a worried look within them.

"Oh, have I?" you asked, genuinely unaware of how long you had been stuck in this position. Your phone was next face down next to you after you had flipped it upside down upon hanging up on a phone call from your mother, in which she had oh-so-kindly decided to provide you a report on her analysis of your life.

Levi glanced over towards your phone and then at your state. He sighed.

"It was your mom again, wasn't it?"

Your eyes slightly widened upon that question.

He knew. Levi always knew. No matter how much effort you put into hiding whatever it was that was bothering you, Levi always seemed to read straight into your soul.

You averted your gaze and nodded.

"Yeah...It was."

"What'd she say this time?"

It took you a while to respond.

"Just...the usual," you mumbled. "How disappointed she is that I haven't really finished school, or how I'm not even married yet, and that I'm-"

You took a shaky breath as you felt your emotions building. You felt like a lump was building in your throat and that your eyes were heating up. You gripped onto your leg in a desperate attempt to keep yourself together, especially in front of Levi.

"That you're what?" Levi asked gently.

"She basically confirmed that I'm a failure," you said, with your voice barely above a whisper as your felt tears building at the corners of your eyes. You opened your mouth to speak again, but Levi was faster.

"Do you seriously believe that?" he asked. The question was harsh, but his voice was gentle and instead of a frown, he only looked at you with a slightly raised eyebrow.

"What-"

"You heard me," he said, never taking his gaze off you as he grabbed your chin so that he was looking into your eyes.

"Do you really believe that?"

"I-I mean, she's right in that-"

"Right about what?" he asked again, challenging you.

"Well, I still don't have my Master's-"

"You had to withdraw because of your mental health condition," he said, before prompting you to go on.

"And I'm still not married-"

"And you really think that it's impossible to be happy or successful without it?"

You didn't respond. You knew he was right.

"Next?" he asked again, confident that he was going to succeed in invalidating everything your mother decided to throw at you.

You fell silent.

"I know you're trying to help, Levi," you whispered, "but I'm sorry if I can't find myself believing that I'm not a-"

You felt your lower lip quivering as the emotions began to boil over.

"-a f-failure," you said quietly, your voice breaking.

Levi wrapped his arms around you, pulling your head against his head.

"You're not a failure," he whispered. "You've been dealt unfair cards, and you've come so far despite it. It's her loss for not recognizing that."

You took comfort in listening to his heart beat as you buried your face into his chest.

"You're not a failure," he repeated. "If you want to finish school, you'll get there. If you don't, that's okay too. Just because you've struggled with your mental health doesn't mean you're deficient."

He pulled away so that he was looking into your eyes before gently flicking your forehead.

"So quit pitying yourself," he said, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips as he saw the pout that formed on your face. "You're capable of more than you know."

You rubbed at your forehead. Levi pulled you into a gentle kiss shortly after, with one hand gently placed on the side of your face. He lingered there for a few seconds, before resting his forehead on yours.

"Never doubt yourself, love," he whispered.

He gave you another quick kiss before standing up.

"Now, let me whip you up something to eat, so you get some food in you other than coffee and that damned potato chip."

[minorfamilysupremacy]

for the vp drabble requests: idk if you can even do anything with this since it's only a concept rather than an actual plot idea but i'm personally obsessed w the thought "vegas may sometimes have pete on a literal leash, but the one holding it in their lives and relationship is pete" (something something vegas learning to let someone take care of him and pete gaining agency in his own life)

OP i am so sorry that this is perhaps the most liberal interpretation of the theme possible but i did go hog-wild and write a thousand words of it while off my ass at 2 am so

Vegas understands the human body — the ways in which it works and fails, the ways in which it can be broken apart and stitched together, the paper-thin line between causing pleasure and pain. He understands how easily the same hands that touch Pete with reverence and devotion can be used to maim and destroy.

He looks at Pete, in all of his open, guileless vulnerability, and he thinks: If I didn’t love you so much, I could kill you so easily.

And yet, Pete turns to him, and offers himself up, and puts his life at Vegas’ mercy. He meets Vegas’ eyes and his gaze says, silently, If it’s what you wanted of me, I would gladly die.

—

They do not talk about the angry mass of scar tissue or the nerve damage to Vegas’ arm. He had seen the concern on Pete’s face the first time his body had threatened to give out and he had squeezed Pete’s throat a little harder with his good hand, and that ended the conversation before it had a chance to start.

He understands his own body and wishes he didn’t. He knows its pains and twinges and itches and its untold, unceasing miseries. He knows how to shove down the constant scream that builds in his gut and claws at his insides. He knows that there’s a great void inside him that hurts and hurts and hurts and that can’t be sated or calmed. He lies awake at night, Pete nestled close against him, and imagines smashing the useless meat and bone of his arm into a bloody pulp. It makes him feel good, or as good as he can, to think of tearing himself apart in such a fashion. The void inside him will never be full, but he feeds it anyway, lets it feast on the thought.

Pete sighs and moves closer in his sleep. He is teetering on the edge of a precipice, but when Vegas calls his name, he only turns and smiles.

—

He says to Pete: ‘You’ll leave one day.’ They had all left in a row, with Mama leading the way. Now Papa is gone and Macau will leave them soon enough and then Pete will go, and once that’s done, he’ll go too.

‘Don’t say that.’

Pete always sees the good in him. He is the closest Vegas will ever get to filling that empty space inside himself.

Vegas thinks, If you stay, you will be swallowed alive.

‘It’s alright,’ he says. ‘No one will blame you.’

‘I don’t care if anyone would blame me,’ Pete says. ‘I only care about what I want, and that’s you.’

‘For now.’

His hand is shaking involuntarily at his side. Pete takes it in his own. Vegas can feel the smooth line of the scar on his palm.

‘My heart is here,’ says Pete. ‘I’m not leaving.’

‘You’ll die if you stay.’

‘I’ll die if I leave.’

’And if I order you to?’ says Vegas.

Pete says, ‘I don’t think you could.’

—

His father had beaten him like a dumb animal for so long that it’s impossible to see himself as human any longer. The man who had shot him at the poolside had only done what you do with dumb animals too old and broken to be of any use any longer, and it’s only Vegas’ bad luck that he didn’t finish the job.

He stays alive for Pete, and for Macau, and for the gnawing fear of dishonoring his father’s memory by taking the coward’s way out. But Papa would be disappointed in him for the pitiful thing he’s become anyway. There is no escape from his shame, no matter if he lives or dies.

He is nothing, always has been nothing, always will be nothing. He sees Pete and the way Pete sees him, with fondness and softness, and he feels a vicious stab of guilt for the deceit. The scream that builds and builds inside of him, every hour of every day, is begging for release. The force of it could level mountains.

‘What will it take for you to see sense?’ he says.

‘You have an odd definition of sense,’ says Pete. ‘Come here.’

Vegas does not. He feels as though the yawning emptiness inside him will pull him under, too. He says, venomously, ‘Why would you love me when my own papa couldn’t?’

‘Oh,’ Pete says, more of an exhalation than a word, as though he’s just been punched. He goes to put his arms around Vegas, and Vegas shoves at him with the heel of his good hand.

‘Tell me,’ he demands. He wants to hurt them both and he knows he has. He can see it reflected in Pete’s eyes and it twists the ache in his stomach even tighter.

Pete cradles his cheek in his hand. ‘He should have.’

‘But he didn’t.’

‘I know.’ Pete’s thumb strokes over his skin. ‘I’m sorry.’

Vegas swallows and says, ‘Then what did I do wrong?’

He doesn’t say, Because don’t want to do the wrong thing again. He doesn’t say, Because I can’t lose you.

But Pete knows, because Pete knows him with a clarity Vegas will never know of himself. He says, ‘You didn’t do anything. It wasn’t your fault. It was his.’

He doesn’t say, I’m not him. He doesn’t say, I told you I wouldn’t leave and I meant it.

But Vegas knows.

‘I want to be better,’ he says.

‘You’re good enough as you are. More than enough.’

Vegas is nothing. He is a small sad thing, a worthless, burdensome failure, a drowning man lost at sea.

But Pete is drawing him in anyway, patient as ever, gathering all the jagged, shattered pieces together with gentle hands, pulling him to shore and saying, Fall to your knees. The ground is solid. It will not fail you. It will not give way. You are safe. I am here.

I am here.

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Musical Ramble Part 2: References/Parallels

More on this brain rot because I’m losing my mind over it

I thought of moments and scenes from the movie (because if we’re gonna adapt this into a musical, we’re gonna need to use the movie more than the book just because of the limitation of theatre) that sort of draw parallels to songs and moments from musicals I know:

Their initial feud and quips from the opening scenes remind me of “What is this Feeling” from Wicked, which in the musical, is literally the start of Glinda and Elphaba’s enemies-to-friends arc. Plus this part would be so funny with Henry:

Yes, there's been some confusion

For you see, my room-mate is

Unusually and exceedingly peculiar

And altogether quite impossible to describe

Blonde

Matthew literally posted this parallel on his Instagram story a few days ago: The get low moment in the movie is so similar to the dance in West Side Story, so imagine an upbeat fun party song where everyone is dancing and suddenly it’s just the two of them staring at each other while their motif plays

The Red Room/ First Hook Up/ Polo scene fits perfectly with Bad Idea from Waitress, I mean Alex initially calls them a beautiful mistake in the books, and just look at the lyrics:

Heart, keep racing

Let's make mistakes

Let us say, "So what?"

And make worse what was already pretty bad

This secret is safe

No reason to throw it away when there's love to be had

Hold me tight as I tell myself that you might make sense

And make good what has been just so bad

Let's see this through

It's a pretty good bad idea

Me and you

Plus in the actual show, the reprise is literally just the three couples having very enthusiastic sex, and again, lyrics:

Hearts keep racing

There’s no mistaking

We can’t come back from this

Good, ’cause I want more of what I had

It feels so good to…

Feels so good…

To be bad

To be bad

Take this bad idea and walk this wire

Throw your spark into oil and fire

Chance won’t come every single day

So don’t throw it away

Don’t throw it away

We might burn but we might get saved

I don’t feel much fire at all these days

Feels so good to

Feels so good to be

Bad

The Emails can be done like “Take a Break” from Hamilton, where Angelica and Hamilton, or Alex and Henry are on different, opposite parts of the stage, left and right, or like in Hamilton, Alex working on the campaign on the base stage, while Henry’s on the balcony, taking turns singing their letters/emails out, we could even add the cute signatures from the book every time they finish their own verse, and the chorus could be a harmony sang together about how much they miss each other, plus Hamilton and Angelica are literally in America and London respectively and Take a Break has this line:

And there you are an ocean away

Do you have to live an ocean away?

Thoughts of you subside

Then I get another letter

And I cannot put the notion away

I thought of the Waterloo Letters paralleling the Reynolds Pamphlet from Hamilton, but on second thought although they’re both about “affairs”, the Firstprince one is a genuinely loving and monogamous relationship unlike the extra-marital sexual affair Hamilton had, and in Hamilton, we see it from other people’s perspective like Jefferson, Maddison, Philip and Angelica, but in RWRB both the book and movie show us the reaction of Henry and Alex, the two people directly involved. Plus in terms of emotions, Reynold Pamphlet feels damning on Hamilton, while the Waterloo Letters feel heart-breaking on Henry and Alex. But the staging of letters flying around and everyone reading it like crazy would translate pretty well

That’s all I can think of for now but this was really fun!!! I’ll definitely write again when I think of more

Finding GiFs and formatting for this was so exhausting and took me more time and writing the actual post, I'll add the rest later when I figure out where tf the gifs I want are and how to format this properly

Part 1 / Part 3