#the giant pig ball is funny

[floorontheroof]

Yes I know I'm surprise spamming battle cats stuff but listen: myrcia is the best galaxy gal even the robot thinks so I dont care if shes garbo she doesnt need good stats to be beautiful

[lonelypep]

hi tumblr

ive been rewatching gravity falls and i thought it would be funny to recap certain events in the show with no context whatsoever

-dipper sings dancing queen by abba with a mutant bear he was about to kill.

-stan, a man in his 60-70s, lectures a child on how to formulate an evil plan. (the child is 4 years old, stans rival, and having a mental breakdown because stan's granchildren are in his armpits)

-dipper gets literally mauled by a wolf and decides its better than going to his sister's sleepover.

-larry king gets decapitated.

-kids break in to a convenience store where one of them gets high out of her mind on cheap illegal ice cream (normal tuesday for these kids)

-kids find out about the 8th and a half president: who made the first all-baby supreme court.

-grunkle stan wins the football bowl. he taught the footballers and their gloating friends a lesson. he wins a football winning trophy, and a beautiful woman aptly named beautiful woman. but he couldnt have done it, any of it, without his sidekick footbot.

-soos is canonically afraid of british dog men. hes so real for that honestly.

-ARE YOU SICK OF PILES OF OWLS CONSTANTLY BLOCKING YOUR DRIVEWAY?! WELL THEN YOU GOTTA GET OWL TROWEL

-youre laughing. people are sick of piles of owls constantly blocking their driveway and youre laughing.

-the only on screen character death, with the exception of bill, is that of big henry, who sacrificed himself by taking a golf ball to the other side of the mine. the protagonists never learn this.

-soos turns into clay and starts breaking the laws of the universe. so stan kills him with a radio.

-two kids travel back in time and crush toby's musical theatre dreams.

-"dudebro" became a mainstay in my regular vocabulary for two years because of this show.

-grunkle stan teaches a bear how to drive. he almost gets arrested in this episode. not for teaching a bear how to drive but because of tax fraud.

-soos' stomach emits whale noises.

-mcgucket has apparently exploded an entire downtown city because his pal earnie didn't come to his retirement party. justified tbh

-stan starts booing some little kids because they told their grandpa they loved him

-let me just set the scene for a sec here: its 2016. its a beautiful summer day, where the hazy nostalgia of a music festival fills your eyes, your ears, and the uneasy excitement of love in the hot summer air makes every second better than the last. suddenly, a gigantic flaming head of a man saying "i eat kids" descends upon you from the sky. the graphic horror is something youll never forget. the grotesque image of people in terror at this gargantuan mass of flaming flesh. it burns into your eyes. is this it for you? you see a child, clueless to the situation, ask his mother his final words: is the giant flaming head going to eat us? she says yes. as it consumes you, you cry a single tear. im done being dramatic but this did happen

-beautiful men eat out of stan's trash (this apparently happens consistently)

-youre laughing. darn beautiful men are always eating out of his trash and youre laughing.

-stan strips on public television.

-gourney gets eaten by a halloween monster. he is only freed when soos eats the monnster.

-the gravity falls universe has a public television program where babies fight each other.

-grunkle stan tries to burn aforementioned four year old nemesis alive.

-ok not really but he tries to blind him at least which is still pretty bad.

-grunkle stan tries to steal an animatronic badger

-mabeland has a government entirely run by mabel. this makes mabel an autocratic fascist. sorry i dont make the rules.

-soos' mom turns into a chair.

-theres a character named toot toot mc bumblesnazzle, who plays a banjo. go ahead and guess his narrative importance. if you guess cult leader, correct!

-neil degrasse tyson plays a pig.

and last but certainly not least, stan has illegally shipped pugs across the us border.

[dragoonwys]

#1: A very shotgun Intro to Molibium (Crown Edition V5)

"There was once a Giant, Almighty, Magnificent, Extraterrestrial, Space dragon! It suddenly died and now people live on its fossilized corpse. Cool right?" -DM Moli

(Left: A completely serious map depiction of Crown aka "the northen region of Molibium", Right: What the actual general vibe of the areas within Crown is like)

Molibium is a "Nonsense" world.

Yes it is, in the most loving way possible, full of "Utter Nonsense".

Frogs turn into princes, pigs can fly, guns shoot swords, eggplants are exactly what the name is, waking up with your cat turned into a log of cheese and your hand a fish while the world is ending next door is just another Tuesday. Think too much about how it logically works and you might just go insane.

After all, true magic is chaos and the rule of fun is king. The reality of Molibium as a world consists of both in the truckloads. It's a chaotic place where logic is mostly made up of what looks to be someone's idea of world building for the fun and giggles. A wall full of sticky idea balls thrown at it.

Yet, even in this nonsense setting, somehow the people living on Molibium managed to form some kind of order as shown by the various governmental bodies and towns that sprung up. The people here still experience wars and personal stakes drama. So in the end, it's not all "Nonsense" after all.

In current day region of Crown, there's a bunch events and quite a few POVs. So, let's start with these three :

Aria the Mapper and her two assistants, Theo and Aki

You'll see them around.

(Repurposed old comic that's still funny to me)

----------

This is Crown, the region with the most polished map I have on my original world, Molibium. One that is the most relevant in my 'current playthrough'.

The world has been my playground for A TON of years now, it's been rebooted 5 times cause I recycle the world and characters whenever I get bored, that's where the version 5 came from. Soooo, this story is mostly a funny doodle-ly world building '4koma comic' thing for myself but girly suggested that I shared them, so I guess I'll be uploading them one by one.

No, there is not one focused main conflict to settle but there is a cast and overall timeline. Yes, I have a lot of doodles and info about it. No, most of my doodles are not in this style you'll see LOL. Pray for my sanity. Hopefully it's fun, enjoy!

[inkydavinkygal]

Reasons why the Super Readers are the best friend group (and are basically Pig's platonic siblings).

Whenever Pig is scared, he frequently hides behind Whyatt (ie: Baby Dinosaur's Big Discovery, Roxie's Missing Music Box, Super Why LIVE!, etc). And it's so cute whenever it happens: big bro, little bro moment.

While Pig's brothers put him down at times (saying he's too young or too little to do stuff, seen in Tom Thumb), Whyatt and his friends never doubt Pig's abilities to build stuff: they're always interested and supportive of whatever Pig does. And yes, Pig's brothers do turn a new leaf in later episodes. They aren't jerks, but still.

Pig literally has a photo of them together: it's so cute!!

When Pig gets scared of his friends' costumes in the Halloween special, they're all concerned, and Whyatt immediately goes to check up on him.

The same goes with "Jake and The Dragon" when Princess Pea comforts Pig when he gets scared by the Giant. Big sister Princess Pea to the rescue!

Them in Super Why: LIVE! I don't need to explain further.

In the beginning part of "The Comic Book: Attack Of The Eraser," with Whyatt and Pig cheering for Red, giving high-fives, congratulating her. It's all so wholesome.

How they literally became friends/Super Readers was because Whyatt wanted friends who liked reading and words as much as he did. And how their whole origin story played out: it's adorable 🥺

All of them are so eager to read Whyatt's comic book in "Woofster and the Pet Pack."

Pig comforting Whyatt in "The Big Game" after he missed hitting the ball.

Princess Pea and Red's squabble in "The CowGirl Mystery," and while it's easily patched up, it's still funny watching the two trying to figure out who's going first.

Again, from "Roxie's Missing Music Book," Whyatt immediately gets his comic book in the mail and already wants to show it to his friends 🥺

When Pig gets tired in "Monster Munch," his friends are there by his side (Whyatt waking him up, Red pushing him to not fall behind, etc). Leave no man behind!

Whyatt comforting an upset Princess Pea in "Alice in Wonderland" when she misses her tea party with the other princesses. He does look a bit confused, but his heart is in the right place 💗

A bit off topic, but whenever Princess Pea grabs something from her purse-thing (handkerchief, umbrella, etc), it warms my heart. She's always a step ahead to help her friends in need; she goes to show she takes "a princess is always prepared" to heart!

Them dancing at the end of every episode. 🥺

These images

These are all that comes to mind atm, but it goes to show how frequent and adorable their friendship is throughout the series! There's probably more instances of these things happening to them, and I'd like to see more!

In conclusion: these kids deserve the world, and at the same time, they don't deserve it. They're too precious.

[sarahhillips]

This Just In; I’m Fried and Continuing My Libertys Kids Marathon

Across the Delaware

Ah yes, the one with the boats.

Ffs can’t you just draw her in a robe or sum

They’re wearing Snuggies

Bro is done and I can’r blame him

I’m sorry Sarah but your snuggie looks like it was skinned from the scrotom of a giant.

Scrotom Snuggie

We’re gonna ruin the Christmas party

Office Christmas Party with the LK characters.

Those beans?

How colonial kids had lunch

Dr. Franklin came to France to fuck French girls

“I just came here to fuck French harlots.”

Washington be strategizing

Hey guys we’re going to war just trust me

Is this dude gonna die

And there they go across a frozen river

The Hessians have no idea.

Oh fuck he fell out.

James you’re a hero. An Orlando Bloom dream boy.

These dudes are SLOSHED

This reminds of of walking through a snowy village

Sarahs got that gentle touch

They’re still wearing their hats but not their uniforms? 😂 Now I can’t help but to think of Hessians attacking while wearing only their hats.

Dude didn’t read his text messages.

Yay ya’ll finally won something

I feel like Sarah should be wearing a fur hood and a wool dress here. And muffs.

Sarah praising Washington shows she’s not biased toward Britain so she’s not a biggot.

An American in Paris

This episode made me underestimate how horrific smallpox actually was.

Google it if you don’t have a weak stomach, but dudes

Smallpox is no joke, thank you science for vaccines.

I’ve never even gotten chicken pox

I used to think chicken pox was something that was supposed to happen to every kid and was confused when I never had it. Well you got your proof there Ben

Henry wants to go to the ball. Moses is like the evil stepmother saying no.

French people dress funny

I love Sarahs friendship with Abigail Adams

Oh hey look there’s Hamilton THAT CHEATING PIG

WHY DO WE NEED A SCENE OF BEN TAKING A FUCKING BATH!?

AND THERE ARE OTHER MEN IN THE BATHROOM WITH HIM

Ingest mercury!? Like fuck

Sarah will volunteer for anything even catching a life threatening illness

We already know this because of the musical

“We gentlemen of low birth.” Ah, so that’s why they click.

Oh, balls.

Bens here so the parties officially begun.

Where is the king. Where’s Marie Antionette?

She could be getting guillotined in front of Henri and he’d be eating strudel while he watched.

Uh oh she’s coughing

That faint wasn’t very convincing

There should be bumps all over her skin

The doctor said ‘Yeah, she might die. Bye’

Arnold has a tavern? Is it like Gastons Tavern?

Looks like he came to get his portrait done too.

What kind of trip is this. They’re trying way too hard to make it freighting

But awwwwww here comes her dad

This scene could have you think that she’s dying and going to Heaven if her father wasn’t alive

And then she finally gets to go on a walk with her father.

Where is Martha? Don’t talk about her if you’re not going to bring her out.

They brought back the sexy doctor.

“Get vaccinated James” quoth Hamilton

I feel like modern day Abigail Adams would be a healthcare worker

[michaelcosio]

Picking a New Profession for Every Boring NBA Commentator

JESSE DORSEY

JUNE 12, 2012

The NBA, and basketball in general for that matter, is an incredibly fast-paced, yet methodical game that it's hard to really find a commentator that's worth much in terms of not over-doing it and not being so boring that it's hard to concentrate on anything but the squeaks of the shoes on the court.

The latter, unfortunately for the following people, is definitely worse than the former. At least with an over-excited commentator there are laughs to be had.

A boring commentator is just that, a guy (or girl) droning on-and-on about this and that with no regard to whether anybody cares about what he's saying.

That's why I've decided to take a look at the worst, most boring commentators and analysts around the NBA and reassign their lives.

We need to make sure that everyone is doing the job that's right for them, so it's time to give everyone who is in the wrong job their correct job.

Magic Johnson: Outlandish Baseball Owner

In case you've not heard due to having lived in a barn over the past few months, Magic Johnson has recently purchased, as a part of a group, the Los Angeles Dodgers.

What Magic Johnson needs to do before the people completely turn on his utterly dull, uninspired and completely useless role with the ESPN crew that bores the bejeezus out of us all season long is turn into the next Bill Veeck.

For those of you who don't know who Bill Veeck is, he's one of the most iconic figures in baseball history, pulling some of the best stunts imaginable to improve the way the fans watch the game.

Among other things, Veeck hired 3'7" Eddie Gaedel to play for his St. Louis Browns. The little man was only allowed one at-bat before the MLB outlawed his use, the man having a strike zone so small that it seemed impossible to pitch to him.

Veeck went on to put together all kinds of promotions, giving away free balls, free pickles, free hot dogs, free lobsters, free ice cream, free pigs, chickens, eels and ducks.

Magic needs to turn himself into one of the most visible, entertaining baseball owners in all of the MLB.

Jon Barry: Basketball Camp with His Brothers

Jon Barry should be thankful that Magic Johnson sits next to him to be more boring than he is, but he's still an uninteresting, dull member of ESPN's NBA Countdown.

What Jon Barry needs to do is collect all of his basketball-playing family members, all of whom got a fraction of the talent that their father had, put them all in the same location and open up the Barry Brothers Basketball Camp.

Once the camp starts to take off, they can start putting together basketball training videos and cheesy commercials to go along with the videos, something that would benefit more people than forcing them to see Barry go on and on about nothing every time ESPN hosts a basketball game.

Shaquille O'Neal: Reality Show

Shaq is in the wrong situation for people to enjoy him on television. When Shaq is funny, it's spontaneous, unscripted and, above all, awkward. However, with him a part of Inside the NBA, he's got very few of those moments.

What we need is to get Shaq a reality show, either one where he just lives his day-to-day life as a giant doctor-policeman former basketball player, or one where they send him here and there to do this and that.

Giving Shaq a reality show not only gets the big mumbling, uninteresting man off our beloved Inside the NBA, it also puts him in a situation where he'll potentially thrive and have people reevaluate their opinions of him as a television personality.

Doris Burke: Craig Sager's Outfit Wrangler

Doris Burke is a maddeningly uninteresting commentator when she's on the microphone. In fact, the only time when she's remotely bearable is when she's the sideline reporter at games, which sucks because even the best sideline reporter is a useless part of a live sports broadcast.

So, in order to keep her somewhat involved in basketball, I'm making her the personal assistant to Craig Sager, who is a noticeably better (yet still useless) sideline reporter.

Her only job with Sager is going to be to keep notes on his outfits, make sure he doesn't wear the same color combinations too close to each other and, overall, make sure each outfit is more outlandish than the last.

Dave Pasch: Stick to His Day Job…Announcing Football

This photo is a worst nightmare of sorts. What we've got here is Dave Pasch, a boring, sometimes used play-by-play man for the NBA on ESPN working alongside Jon Barry, a color commentator with nothing to add and no insight to give.

Dave Pasch has been an interesting decision at times for the NBA game. What makes him a good football announcer, the somber tone, the drawn-out pauses to let the game take over rather than his words, is also what makes him a terrible basketball announcer. There's a certain rhythm that comes with commentating basketball that he just doesn't have.

So, all Pasch really needs to do is stick to his job commentating for the Arizona Cardinals and then doing college and Arena Football, the NFL and the Little League World Series, places where his pace is more fitting.

Matt Devlin: Branch Manager of a Paper Company

I hate to discredit Matt Devlin, because he seems like one of the nicest guys a person could ever encounter, but Devlin is awful as an NBA commentator.

If you're not the over-excited, constantly wound-up type then it's best to be somber and let the game flow through your lips and to the viewer. Don't try to do too much, but don't try to leave too much silence.

Devlin's problem is that he is too slow and methodical for the majority of the game, but then he tries to work himself up for the excitement in the final minutes of a game, leading to situations like this, when he had no idea that the game was over.

Aside from that, Devlin seems to have awkward in infinite supply. Devlin's well-meaning awkwardness always seem to throw off a Michael Scott vibe, making me think that he'd be a perfect manager for a company in paper sales.

[the-firebird69]

Warhammer 40K: Ultramarines Full Movie Cinematic (2023) | 4K Action Scenes

We are in trouble we're running out of cadmium we have to make these things my friend here knows how to do it and will and build it too and will and Bill we have to stop being mean to them we're screwed and yeah we have to get going on this this is terrible these things and we need to get going on it this is real but this is more like Trump's stuff and he's a pig and those two things to really gross and people are supposed to be into it and they get into it and say I can take all of you and stuff like that. That's nasty and we don't want our son I mean my grand nephew near him he's been saying too he is a massive ball please ball is sleaze ball is a huge loser and it that's all true and we have to stop it from happening and we need him out of here this is not a drill we are in a lot of trouble everyone's calling it The Ghost fleet and they're saying that my grand nephew could be a hero or could have messed up bad in other words the max could have gotten it but he says in defense of it that their manned comet empire ships and they were not fighting over the AI none of them would be here and I guess you can't tell but some of them are here and the ones who have ai we're held here so they could get them out when they're ready to access the computers and this makes some damn sense these people are sharp and it's very dangerous it took him years to figure out with Will and Bill and Ken and Camilla and Biden me my boys and the trumps too they went on a lot of missions and got beat up really really bad now the guy is a skin Flint in a street person and the other one's always been a street person is now a bum it's pretty harsh but you guys look really really stupid and easy. We have to get going on this we need to meet we're pulling the ships out and it's taking forever to get to those stupid tunnels they took only a few days to mine out the entire shoreline now staying forever and he says this probably diamonds underneath the shell which is adjacent to the giant diamonds and I noticed that too and you could mind to them and the shell won't fall well that's the problem it's falling quite steadily so he says when it's falling you can mine under it but this is terrible we we need to do stuff and he knows it and those are very small but he said you need them and I he can make a gang up one and sometimes it's better but you need all that metal for the big ones we got to get going on this right now and I'm going to get people going on helping him instead of trashing him it shows right now it says and it's worth a lot and I'll figure it out when I talk to Will and Bill and he knows about it actually Garth knows

Mac daddy

So it came up and said something no..

That's very funny but okay we have to get going on this too right now we need more troops immediately and it's mostly all remote viewing unless you're from Earth and we need this now

Thor Freya

He wants us to advertise this genre and it's our genre and we know what he means this is going to be intense everybody we're going to feel emotional about it he says just one more time on the big stuff and we can do it I will be okay but we do hear what he's saying and people will come to help us

Olympus

[cointitta]

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[blyanten]

Catching up on the MCU!

:readmore:

Black Widow:

I think I'd be more into this movie if Natasha wasn't super fucking dead.

Yelena is great.

The family thing stretches suspension of disbelief, but since none of them had anything even close to stability after that, I'll buy it.

Quit torturing the pigs!

After Red Guardian being a joke I expected the fight with Taskmaster to be either a joke or a damn, he can fight moment, and it was turned out to be a more realistic, even fight. That's cool.

There's an potential army of maybe superpowered, definitely top trained BWs out there. Sure, they probably want different lives, but judging by the end of the movie they won't be against a team up. That's very cool.

Natasha could have leveraged all this into a pardon (and maybe did, since she apparently met up with Ross?) and still she immediately goes "prison break time, baby".

Rewatch: Maybe for Yelena.

Shang-Chi:

The rings go back and forth between looking cool and looking really dumb.

Me: "The monsters sounds Cthulu-ish."

Also me: *no reaction to the name Dweller-in-Darkness.*

Katy's cool, and having her be useful by practicing the bow and arrow, and then hitting a giant target that's standing still is a good way of making her useful, without making it too much.

I think Trevor survives because people let him talk and then realize he's basically living in a different reality and can't be blamed for his actions.

Morris is adorable.

Wish there'd been more of the forest, that was a great bit of horror.

Really like how Shang is just rolling with the plot. Man is delightfully chill about it, all things considered.

Also like how it, despite the world-ending threat, feels more like a very dramatic, fighty family drama. Dad was a great tragic, villain. Not to mention must have been very good with horses.

So sis is not shutting down anything, huh.

Wong is always cool.

Rewatch: Definitely.

Eternals:

Too long. Can we put a two-hour limit on these.

Constantly mind-wiping people, making them fight to protect people and then expecting them to step aside and let everyone die. Yeah, that was going to end badly at some point.

That said, "Humanity is special" got taken a bit too far, I think. After millions of years, this is where you get cold feet? Not entirely buying it.

How many people were the deviants eating anyway, if they were slowing down the emergence?

Normal boyfriend (Dane?) was surprisingly likeable.

Bollywood guy is kinda funny. I don't like him, but I'd keep him around.

Nooo, Gilgamesh! Too likeable to live. Thena is somehow supercool and forgettable at the same time.

Ikarus or whatever had obviously evil written aaall over him, and the indoor eyebeam scene was still a good way to show how little he cares about people. Shame he's also boring. Why is it always the powerful one that decides to go full asshole? To have a big fight, I know, I know. And then the fucker just flies into the sun.

Tinkerbell girl is the worst, though the rock to the head was hilarious. Quit whining and learn to style yourself as an adult. Half your problems solved, right there.

Absolutely love the deviant design. A bit rubbery-looking, but the vaguely skinned look with tentacles is working for me.

Sersi is not... a very good leader. Maybe next movie. Her costume just makes me think of a Green Lantern.

Druig is on the ball throughout the entire movie, and he doesn't even know how much. More of that guy.

Makkai is likable, but seems to be mostly around for moving people out of the way. Wouldn't mind seeing more of her though.

Phastos rules. Sure, dickhead broke free, but that trap was way more effective than I thought it would be.

So the dead baby Celestial is just hanging out in the ocean now. Neat. Will in no way be a problem in the future.

Wonder how many people is digging into old family legends these days.

Rewatch: Nah. Stopped caring as soon as the movie was over.

Multiverse of Madness:

I had hoped the "you break rules, you're a hero, I break rules, I'm a villain" would be more than standard villain bullshit, but I'm not sure it would have been as fun as watching Wanda go full villain all over the place. Because it is extremely fun.

I appreciate the speed of plot here. Straight to the point, no holding back the reveal.

Love the visuals.

Lol at Strange casually burying himself.

Love the implication that Strange is kicking Mordo's ass on the regular.

So the Illuminati are clearly supposed to be great heroes, but aside from Xavier they all seem like... well, kinda dickish. Also, lol at Black Bolt's death. That just looked dumb. Reed, this is why we don't tell the bad guy what powers people have, even if you're trying for a peaceful talk-down.

That's a hard no the the 616 stuff.

Fuck yeah, self-possessed zombie Stephen and multiplying rotten hands!

Wong seems to have hit a "this might as well happen" point. No wonder, really. Shame about his... assistant?, she seemed cool, and she did manage to wreck the Darkhold.

Feel like they could have done more with America, but at least she's introduced now, and her crystal star portals look great.

Ever word Wanda says just hammers home how badly she's lost it, especially the "every mom makes her kids by magic" line, but the "I wouldn't hurt anyone" line takes it to a whole new level. Lady, you're half a minute away from throwing the kids through a wall, and you're definitely fucking them up emotionally. True A+ MCU parenting.

Just ending it like that, huh. From dramatic screaming to everything is fine, next adventure.

Rewatch: Don't know. Plot's fine, but a lot of the fun was tied into the spectacle and not knowing what happened next.

Love & Thunder:

I wanted actual adventures with Thor and the GotG, so that was a disappointing start. Well, the actual beginning of the movie was good.

I'm amazed there are asgardians left at this point.

I fucking hate Korg. How dare the movie hopespot me with his death and then not follow through on it.

This Thor is the worst Thor.

The new armor was nice tough. The black one, the other one looked like plastic.

The humour in this movie does not work for me. How is it possible to be even worse than the rest of the MCU when it comes to letting emotional moments stand?

Except for the "half our warriors are always dead" joke, that was hilarious.

Mjolnir in pieces was awesome.

I wish Valkyrie had feelings.

The Shadow realm was really creepy. Gorr appearing during story time was very dad-ish, like a monster version of a dad telling dumb jokes.

The kids fighting was half cool, half ridiculous, but I dig the Princess cutting a monster in two and the one with the rabbit.

Boo, don't be a quitter, Gorr. But lol at Gorr's kid actually being named Love. Go for a namechange, kid, it's a bit much. At least she's with the Asgardians, they've got "everyone I love died" down to an art by now.

Sif dying of actual battlewounds won't get her to Valhalla, but Jane dying of cancer, a disease, does get there. Not very consistent, these rules. Did Thor accidentally wish her there or something.

Unless it's less dying in battle, and more heroic sacrifice they're going for. Not very heroic to lie there and die when you can get up and get help.

Ending was cute. Tiny girl with giant weapon is always cute.

Rewatch: No.

[kahran042]

Encyclopedia Brown thoughts: book 15

Encyclopedia Brown Carries On

The Case of the Giant Mousetrap:

NGL, I actually found the thing about authorities removing Salvatore's paintings the instant they're discovered to be pretty funny.

Who calls a fire escape "fire stairs"?

There's a stair to the surface in the sub-basement of City Hall? Is it built into a hillside, like a lot of the buildings at the University of New Hampshire?

The Case of the Grape Catcher:

Edsel is described as “cocky”, but he really doesn’t come across that way to me. Guess that it is possible to be a successful writer without knowing about the “show, don’t tell” principle. -_-*

"While Sally and Encyclopedia fixed the meal, Edsel explained about his gifted mouth." Phrasing! ;)

Why did Edsel's parents "squash" his grape catching for a year?

The Case of the Left-Handers Club:

Guess I was wrong... this is another example of Sally being judgmental to someone who doesn't turn out to be guilty. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.

This story is the first place I ever saw the word "sideburn" and where I learned what they are.

The Case of the Diving Partner:

I'm not a golfer, but would diving for cheap balls for golfers to use on water holes really be that lucrative a business?

Is there really a point to mentioning Helga's age, other than as a reminder than teens are teh evulz?

The "Caution: Divers at Work" sign doesn't look that bad to me in the illustration.

I don't know... it seems like the sign would be useful if people are bopping Otis with a golf club when he comes up for air.

The Case of the Upside-Down Witness:

Elton is initially described as doing "headstands", and the illustration agrees with this. But later in the story, he's described as doing "handstands".

One of many examples of @brownencyclopedia​'s page-skimming: The fish market did not have a "sale on choice cod." It was a special where one could get three of a choice of fish, the first listed being cod, for the price of two. Here's the exact text from the book:

And, just for fun, here's what it looks like upside-down and backwards:

Some other words that this trick can work with: BECK, BEDECK, BEDECKED, BEE, BID, BIDE, BIDED, BIKE, BIKED, BOD, BODE, BODICE, BOO, BOOB, BOOED, BOOK, BOOKED, BOX, BOXED, CEDE, CEDED, CHECK, CHECKBOOK, CHECKED, CHIC, CHICK, CHID, CHIDE, CHOCK, CHOCKED, CHOKE, CHOKED, COB, COCK, COCKED, CODE, CODED, CODEX, COO, COOED, COOK, DECK, DECIDE, DECIDED, DECKED, DECODE, DECODED, DEED, DEICE, DEICED, DEICIDE, DICE, DICED, DICK, DIE, DIED, DIKE, DIKED, DIODE, DIOXIDE, DO, DOCK, DOCKED, EDDIED, EXCEED, EXCEEDED, HECK, HEED, HEEDED, HEX, HEXED, HICK, HID, HIDE, HIKE, HIKED, HOBO, HOCK, HOCKED, HOD, HOOD, HOODED, HOODIE, HOOK, HOOKED, IBEX, ICE, ICEBOX, ICED, ID, INDEED, IODIDE, KICK, KICKED, KID, KIDDED, KOI, OBOE, ODE, OX, OXIDE, XEBEC.

Was the fish market actually selling dolphin meat, or was it just dorado/mahi mahi? I'm hoping for the latter.

The Case of the Marvelous Egg:

Wilford's "marvelous" eggs aren't square. They're cubical, dammit! Cubical!

Even with the children's comments, I'm still not seeing any value to cubical eggs outside of novelty.

Why would a cubical egg be more durable than an ovoid one, anyway?

How many kids would know that skydivers always dive with two parachutes?

The Case of the Overfed Pigs:

Psy-ai-ai... another Lucy Fibbs case... so boring...

An All-Pig Olympics seems like an interesting concept, TBH. But what events would there be besides running and swimming?

This is the only case to mention Lucy's sister Carol.

It's nice to see someone else wincing at Sobol's terrible puns.

The Case of the Ball of String:

More @brownencyclopedia​ page-skimming... they suggest that Tom, John, and Charles' hobbies don't belong in Collecting for Fun, but they aren't. Proof here:

As you can see, Collecting for Fun is in Room 9 of the junior high school. And the three boys' collections?

OK, John's collection isn't given a specific room, but it clearly states in the highlighted text that he has a hobby beside the one displayed in the Collecting for Fun room, which presumably refers to his money collection. Duh.

I love how ugly John looks in the illustration for the solution.

The Case of the Thermos Bottle:

Sobol knew that "thermos" is a trademark, right?

This is one of two cases involving worm races. Still seems like a surprisingly high number.

Are caterpillars faster than worms, then? Also, wouldn't the caterpillar have to have gone through the chrysalis stage before it became a butterfly?

"Two tickets to the Crest Theater"? Aren't tickets usually to specific shows, not to the theater itself?

You'd think that the chicken race would be more relevant to the plot, but it's not.

I wonder if Rick Larsen is related to Tigers member Spike Larsen, or even if they're one and the same?

[nachosforfree]

dick and balls smp lore and timeline go

May 4rd of 2058: Grefuffle and Hamster create the DAB smp. It's a fairly simple little smp. They invite Marticinita

May 9th: Illinomia joins, she stirs up a little trouble by laying pranks and traps around

May 11th: Grefuffle's base is destroyed by one of Illinomia's pranks and he gets angry. This starts a feud between the two, eventually leading to a temporary ban for Illinomia

May 18th: Vanillabean joins. He and Hamster build a giant wheel at the spawn point

May 26th: Illinomia's ban is lifted. She befriends Vanilla and the two begin conspiring against Grefuffle. Vanilla says the two of them are in the same boat, he likes pranks too

May 27th: Gregory and Surloign join. Grefuffle shows them around

June 3rd: Illinomia and Vanillabean's characters officially get married despite never having dated prior. As they leave the altar, they find a baby pig and decide to keep it as a pet. They name it George

over the next few weeks we get a lot of wholesome streams of illinomia and vanilla. grefuffle and surloign create "cakeland", a piece of land that's floor is entirely made of cake

June 10th: Marticinita and Illinomia talk and Ill brings up her feud with Grefuffle. Marticinita finds opportunity to cause some trouble, as things have been getting too peaceful around the smp. She asks Ill if she wants to get back at Grefuffle by messing up cakeland. Ill is hesitant, since messing up Gref's places is what got her banned in the first place, but soon agrees.

After Ill logs off, Marticinita visits Hamster and the two trade items. Hamster gives her 10 diamonds in exchange for various potions, invisibility, slow-falling, etc. They dont explain what they wanted the potions for, but Marticinita privately tells her chat that she thinks "theyre up to something bad, and [she] likes it"

June 12th: Marti, Ill, and Vanilla (who was told offstream by Ill about it) unleash their plan on cakeland, blowing it up and accidentally killing and unsuspecting Surloign, and destorying Gregory's bakery. Surloign is forced into ghost-mode, and begins haunting Illinomia a streams later

June 16th: Ill goes to her and Vanilla's house, only to see Hamster running out and Vanilla following. He stops chasing Hamster and starts apologizing to Ill. He unknowingly cheated on her with Hamster, who used the invisibility potion given by Marti to trick Vanilla. Ill is heart broken, but before she can say anything, Grefuffle shows up and shoots at the two with his crossbow, killing Vanilla via a shot to the head.

June 20th: Vanilla rejoins the game in ghost-mode, but unlike Surloign, he isn't haunting anyone in particular. He goes and sits at the wheel he and Hamster made together on his first day and talks to his chat, trying to understand how all of this happened.

June 21st: Marticinita recounts all the damage done to her chat as she builds something that will become the banquet hall. Hamster joins the vc a couple hours into the stream and helps her. She asks them why they used the potion to sleep with vanilla. Theyre thought it'd be funny. Marticinita, even in her chaos causing state, pauses and gets almost angry at Hamster, saying they needed a better reason than that. They ask her what HER reason for getting involved with Ill and Gref's beef was. Marti doesnt have an answer. Hamster says they're in the same boat.

June 24th: Grefuffle does a short stream, travelling to Surloign's grave with Gregory. Grefuffle leaves flowers and cooked steak at it as he and Gregory talk, and soon ends stream. Gregory continues on his own stream, going mining and talking about the experience

June 27th: Vanilla's ghost visits Illinomia, who's being tormented by Surloign's ghost. The ghosts get into a fight and Vanilla is double-killed

[krissiefox]

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog Episode - "High Stakes sonic"

(Screenshots post 1 of 5)

In this episode, Robotnik has sent a very crooked land-shark named Smiley to a town of sheep to trick them into gambling away all of their money on a rigged game - and then forcing them into labor to pay it off. Thankfully, Sonic and tails show up in town and put a stop to him and get the sheep folks all their money back. In response, Robotnik builds Casino Night zone to lure the sheep away from home where they go and resume gambling on rigged machines once again, losing all their money. The casino night in this episode bears very little resemblance to the one from the games, but it is still neat to me when they try to incorporate game locations into the Sonic cartoons.

Sonic and Tails follow, sabotaging the rigged gambling machines once again. Wanting to keep Tails safe while he deals with Scratch and Grounder, Sonic drops him off at a daycare place. I found this scene pretty adorable, Tails even plays in the giant ball pit there. :D  The pig lady watching over the daycare gave me kind of a Ren & Stimpy vibe, every once in a while there's a background/extra character in the show that does that, which I like, too! Unfortunately... the nursery is *also* a trap and the pig lady reveals that Robotnik is her boss as she drops Tails down a pit hidden under the ball pit. Meanwhile, Sonic is  talking to Smiley, who informs him that Tails has been captured and he'll have to race Grounder - and intentionally lose - or else they will kill Tails. This pisses off Sonic so much he threatens to "turn Smiley into sushi" if anything happens to Tails - Yikes! Remember, if you fun with Sonic friends, he just might eat you!

Making the situation worse, Smiley has gotten all the sheep to bet on Sonic, telling them that if he wins, they will be freed from slavery. Robotnik is definitely being extra horrible in this episode and the stakes presented are pretty dark by the show's usual standards.

Sonic shows up and slowly walks behind Grounder during the race, to make sure Tails won't be harmed. The sheep shame Sonic for letting Grounder win, which I found kind of dickish considering Tails' life was at stake. I suppose they were unfamiliar with Sonic, because otherwise they'd surely know that even if he lost the race he'd be strong and capable enough to free them from slavery, too.

Thankfully, Grounder accidentally reveals where Tails is being kept, at which point Sonic detours to go save him and then manages to win the race as well! Robotnik, as dishonest as ever, is planning to still enslave the sheep. Sonic speeds off to rescue them, and vandalizes Robotnik's big sphinx statue as a final "fuck you". Considering all the awful stuff the doctor got up to in this episode, he more than had that coming!

The sheep in this episode were almost painfully gullible and dense, and despite being known for his general impatience, Sonic was very kind to keep following their situation to help protect them from their own stupidity.  There's lot of great and funny art for the whole central cast, and Tails playing in the ball pit was a really cute scene. Even some of the background/extra characters looked cool, like that Spumco-esque pig lady. There's also a moment where Sonic and Grounder run through a tunnel and there's a surprisingly cool lighting effect shown - I do wish more things like this appeared in the show - cool effects and/or more detailed backgrounds. Got a LOT of screenshots from this episode, so I'll be breaking them up into a few posts, again.

[thevioletjones]

Congrats on the kudos, u deserve it! I did not undestand if I'm supposed to choose one of the lines for the prompt or if I have to combine two or more lines lol. But if it is to choose only one: number 5. If more than one: 5 and 45. *---*

Thank you! I used both. Great inspiration, actually. It spun out of control! 😀

Prompt 2: “How much of that did you hear?” + “Why are you helping me?”

Interloper

“Jesus, Iggy, I’m gonna fuckin’ murder you myself one of these days,” Mickey threatened in exasperation.

They were both leaning over, hands on knees, gasping for air, just having run full-speed for at least twelve blocks. The pillars beneath the L tracks were now providing the mild seclusion they needed to wait out a cursory police search of the area.

“Ain’t my fault!” Iggy exclaimed defensively.

Mickey’s face scrunched up to a degree that only his dumbest family members could make it reach. “Yes it fuckin’ was! Who else’s fault would it be?”

He’d always kind of wondered how he was the only one in his crap-ass family to be gifted with at least half a brain. Well, him and his younger sister, Mandy. She was alright. Skanky and crazy, but not a total idiot. He couldn’t say the same for his brothers, male cousins, father, uncle, etcetera. Mickey couldn’t even get his begrudgingly favorite brother to follow a simple goddamn plan that would’ve kept them out of trouble when they were out committing crimes. He was just gonna have to start doing everything himself. Safety in numbers didn’t apply when the other member of your team seemed to have been lobotomized when no one was paying attention. It was probably all the meth. Mickey was smart enough to stay away from that particular bullshit. Didn’t want to become a scabby, denture-wearing, toothpick skinny, low-life with no mind left to lose. He was content to stick to coke and weed like a normal person.

“That old bitch came outta nowhere! Self-defense!”

“It ain’t self-defense if you’re robbin’ the joint, numbnuts! We’re lucky you fuckin’ missed!”

If he had it his way, Mickey wouldn’t be doing these petty robberies anymore. He much preferred bigger jobs, like gun and drug running. But times were tough, and he had to do what he had to do. He’d even considered getting a legit job for once in his life, but the skills he possessed weren’t exactly easily adaptable to the straight and narrow path. Being a criminal was how he was raised, and all he knew. It brought heat, but it was still a comfortable fit. Living without the constant presence of major risk would probably feel so foreign as to drive him crazier than a meth addiction in the long run.

The job Mickey’d lined up involved hitting up a few different borderline upmarket stores that’d opened up in their neck of the woods since the gentrifiers had set upon The Yards, then selling the goods to a guy he knew in the online black market trade. Not as lucrative as heavy metal and funny powder, but a decent payday nonetheless. Except fuckface over here who had to ruin everything by getting trigger-happy on Main while they were attempting to heist merchandise from location number two of three. If the pigs nabbed either one of them, they’d be going down for at least five to ten. Years. Mickey was done donating years to the prison industrial complex. The most he could afford was months at best.

“When’d you turn into such a giant asshole?” asked Iggy. “Oh, nevermind, probly when you started gettin’ it railed on the reg.”

A giant smile stretched across his perpetually dirty face, causing Mickey’s eyebrows to lift dangerously high on his forehead. Occasionally, his dumber-than-rocks older brother managed to think up some admittedly clever asides. Mickey didn’t know whether to punch him or give him daps.

Before he could decide, however, he heard a distinct little snicker from the other side of the large concrete column they were leaning on, raising his hackles to invisibly join his eyebrows in their heightened incredulity.

Mickey hastily rounded the pillar and grabbed the giggler by the shirt collar, hauling him to their side and pinning him next to Iggy with his forearm. He looked into the guy’s eyes, and finally registered who it was. He kinda sorta knew him from around town. Used to hang out with his sister back in high school. He was a lot scrawnier then. This version of the dude could probably hold his own with Mickey in a fight. He’d built some definite muscle.

“How much of that did you hear, asshole?” Mickey demanded, seeing Iggy flash the gun in his waistband in his periphery.

This idiot didn’t look as rattled as he should be, though. He just shrugged his shoulders.

“Considering I was here first, I guess… all of it?”

He was wearing an annoying little smirk, his green-blue eyes shining bright, and his red hair distracting Mickey as much as the light dusting of freckles across his nose and cheeks. He had a stupidly ultra-defined chin, and Mickey immediately hated it. His chin hadn’t looked like that when he was a 15-year-old pipsqueak.

“Wipe that smile off your face, bitch,” ordered Mickey, pressing his arm harder against the guy’s pale throat. “You think this is fuckin’ funny? You know who we are?”

The guy shrugged again, like this was all a casual conversation on the corner. “Mickey.” He glanced at his dumb, blonde, curlicue brother. “And Iggy, right? I used to hang out with Mandy all the time. Have a good memory.”

“Yeah? Well I remember your goofy ass too, Gallagher. I know where you live and I know who your family is, so if you know what’s good for you, you’ll keep your big mouth shut or I’ll pick ‘em off one by one and save you for last. Got it?”

The dude snorted, and Mickey wondered if he was some kind of crazy tweaker with no sense of propriety or self-preservation.

“You outta your goddamn mind or somethin’?” Mickey added. “I ain’t jokin’.”

“Look, Gallaghers don’t snitch, alright?” He held his hands up placatingly. “I promise not to say shit to anyone. It’s none of my business, and I really don’t care. That good enough for you?”

Mickey loosened his hold, but sized him up all the while. “Maybe. But it’s possible you need a little lesson to remember it good. Wouldn't want you to forget about the consequences of you breakin’ your word.”

The dude winced and shoved Mickey off. “I don’t need a fucking beatdown, Mickey. I get it.”

“Ohhhh,” Mickey singsonged derisively, meeting Iggy’s gaze. “He gets it.” He thumbed his eyebrow. “Guess I’m just s’posed to believe you, huh?”

“That would be ideal, yeah.”

Mickey had to give it to him; he almost cracked a smile. The kid had balls. Most people around their neighborhood cowered before a Milkovich like spring lambs. Still, he lived by a code, and letting some rando walk away unscathed when he had dirt on him just didn’t fit the rules.

He cocked his fist back to knock it into tall, pale, and red’s pearly white teeth, just as the stunted siren of a cop car rang out very close by. Their collective heads all snapped toward the sound, and after sharing a meaningful look between brothers, Iggy took off running once again, without a word.

Normally, Mickey would’ve followed hot on his heels, but some unknown force was keeping his useless feet stuck to the dirty ground, eyes watching as Gingerballs glanced around the column at the flashing lights, taking a very long look that wasn’t suspicious at all.

Before he could react outwardly, Mickey was pulled against a hard body, Gallagher’s warm breath sending a shiver down his spine as he whispered, “Be cool. I got you.”

Suddenly, big hands were caressing Mickey’s back, and despite a part of him not minding in the least, the rest of him stiffened considerably.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he rasped out, hearing the telltale slam of a car door, and attempting to pull away. But a strong grip held him close, spinning him around so that he was the one up against the concrete now.

“Saving your thug ass. I know this guy, okay? Just chill and follow my lead.”

Okay, what the hell was this surreal turn of events? Gallagher was bold as shit, cradling Mickey all gay like. Sure, Iggy had made a fag joke earlier, kicking off this whole… whatever it was, but still. This guy had no way of knowing it was based in reality. Did he?

And had Gallagher really been gay this whole time? How had Mickey never sniffed this scorching information out?

“What’s going on here, boys?”

The copper rounded the corner, genuinely swinging his nightstick like a cartoon character, and Mickey had to suppress a deep roll of his eyes.

“Milkovich?” Mr. CPD continued, extreme disbelief coloring his voice.

Mickey was abruptly reminded that he was currently stuck between a rock and a hard body, and nothing about their entanglement screamed anything other than gay, gay, super-fucking-gay. Not that Mickey hadn’t come to accept who he was and what he liked, but he didn’t go around spreading the truth all over town either. This could seriously damage his carefully crafted reputation.

“Tony!” Ian interjected, sparing him from having to invent some lame excuse, and the cop’s eyes snapped to him instead.

“Ian?” His tone was still dripping with astonishment.

“Yeah! What's up? How you been?”

Mickey shot him an ‘are you goddamn serious right now?’ look, and Ian just squeezed his hip in tacit reply.

“Uhhh… gooood? Care to explain whatever…” he waved his stick between them, “this is?”

Ian laughed and he figured the dude truly was a nutcase. Mickey was going to jail for sure.

“Um, well,” answered Ian, suddenly playing it very meek and demure, “Mickey and I were just… you know…”

“You and… Mickey?”

“Not fucking or anything! Just... hanging out?”

“Hanging out.”

“Yeah, you know how it is. I’m tryin’ to convince Mick here to come home with me, but he’s being squirrelly.” He shook his head and shrugged. “South Side guys.”

“What the fuck?” Mickey whispered harshly, completely taken aback.

Ian just squeezed him tightly again, which was not helping his whole brain scramble situation.

“Huh,” said Tony, a tone of acceptance seeping in. “Mickey Milkovich, eh? Wow.”

“Come on, Tony. I don’t have to tell you this is all a big secret, do I?” replied Ian.

“And blondie who ran away like there was a damn fire? Did he flee a threesome?”

Mickey frowned and fake-wretched, finally speaking up. “Fuck no, man. That was my dumbass brother. He don’t like cops.”

“Uh huh. And you and your brother didn’t happen to be getting into trouble about 15 minutes ago, did you?”

“No sir,” Mickey said with a mock salute.

Ian kicked at his foot in warning.

“He’s been with me since like 3 o’clock, Tone. Scout’s honor.”

Officer Tony eyed them both with a look of skepticism, but didn’t contradict Ian’s word. The CB sounded from the open window of the black and white, with some cop-speak crackling over the airwaves.

“Stay put,” said Tony, eyes lingering longer on Mickey’s than Ian’s. “Both of you.”

He retreated to answer the radio call, and Mickey let out a deep whoosh of air.

“Goddamn, Gallagher. You’re spinnin’ quite a yarn here.”

“Yep,” Ian agreed. “A big gay yarn.”

“How the fuck did you know—”

“That you’re gay? Well, I heard Iggy make that joke, obviously. Pretty specific bottom joke to make if you weren’t actually into it. Plus, I always had my suspicions.”

Mickey scoffed. “Yeah fuckin’ right!”

“I did!”

“Whatever. Why are you helping me?”

“Out of the kindness of my heart?”

“Try again.”

“I don’t know. Why not? Makes us even or something. Now you know I won’t rat you out. About any of it. I wouldn’t out someone like that, and I don’t give a shit about the illegal crap you’re wrapped up in. Tony Markovich is like turbo gay too. Used to bang my sister, I think, but he came out a couple years ago. He won’t let it slip about you. He’s not a total bastard just cuz he’s a cop, ya know?”

Mickey bit his lip in contemplation. Gallagher seemed pretty genuine. Still didn’t much make sense in his brain, but whatever.

“Fine. But you know what’s gonna happen if—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, kick my ass, kill my family, got it.”

“You’re a cocky little shit, ain’t you?”

Ian smirked again, and it was pretty sexy, actually. “Maybe.”

He had the gall to push against Mickey more fully, pressing the bottom halves of their bodies closer together.

Mickey gasped. “Gonna have to ask you again… what the hell do you think you’re doin’?”

“You wanna go out sometime?”

Mickey cackled in his face. “You’re off your fuckin’ rocker for sure.”

“Am not! I can tell you want me.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ. Cocky little shit doesn’t even begin to cover it, does it?”

“Come onnnn,” Ian prodded.

“Do I look like I date, Gallagher?”

“A date can be whatever we want it to be, Milkovich. I’m easy.”

“Yeah, I bet you are.”

“Okay,” Tony interrupted, coming back into view. “Get the hell outta here. You wanna bang, do it indoors somewhere, or I’ll have to arrest you for public indecency or worse. And Milkovich… if I find any evidence of what I’m sure you know I’m talking about, I’ll be paying your ass a visit real soon.”

Mickey let the eyeroll loose then, withholding a flip of his middle finger, and deadpanning instead, “Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, officer.”

Tony sighed loudly. “Whatever.”

“Thanks, Tony!” Ian cried at his retreating back.

“You always kiss cop ass like that? Cuz that’s not the way to get into my pants, Red.”

Ian just grinned, finally pulling his body away as he looked around. “You gonna follow me home or what?”

Mickey wanted to tell him to go fuck himself and swagger away like a badass. But was he not a thirsty man being propositioned by a hot guy who just randomly saved his ass from a trip to the slammer?

He at least feigned protest, huffing and puffing as he kicked at the dirt. “Goddamn it, Gallagher, you drive a hard bargain.”

Ian’s face lit up like a Christmas tree, as Mickey added, “Lead the way, weirdo.”

[urishika]

Scene 5

CN: Woah! It is cooler in here than outside.

LB: I have a weird feeling.

CN: Watch out! This is like a giant pinball machine.

LB: Indeed, but it seems to be in "multiball" (?) mode.

Ivan: Everyone was captured because of me. Everyone was captured because of me. Everyone was captured because of me. Everyone was captured because of me.

CN: What is wrong with him? Am I seeing correctly or was he transformed into Reflekta?

LB: She was akumatised by SM and this thing...

CN: Is her sentimonster!

LB: We have to find where she is hiding. She must be able to control this thing. Stay alert.

Mendeleiev: I should have never left the room. I should have never left the room. I should have never left the room.

LB: This sentimonster is contaminating everyone with the pink balls.

CN: It's not gonna be easy to find Reflekta. Everyone looks like her.

LB: They all look the same but they kept their voices.

Ninoflekta: I cannot help my friend to face his father.

CN: Ow, Nino. That is not your fault. If we had defeated SM we wouldn't be trapped in here.

LB: Oh no. This is not happening. Not now.

CN: *sad Cataclysm*

LB: CN, no! If get trapped by Reflekta, SM will succeed in getting our miraculous.

CN: We should have given him our miraculous.

LB: You are right, Kitty. How could I ever believe that we could take down such a powerful monster?

Rose: LB, CN! I knew it! I knew you would come to save everyone!

Rose: I am really sorry. I am not a good friend, I should have never told my secret to Juleka. No! I am not like this!

LB: Of course, she is fighting negativity with positive thoughts! That's how we can defeat Reflekta. CN, can you have positive thoughts? You are the best partner I could ever have!

CN: LB, do you really think that?

LB: Of course. I don't really say it often, but I could not do this without you and you are really funny too!

CN: What a meow-rvellous thing! I have to say that you are perfect too, my lady!

LB: I am glad you are back, Kitty.

CN: You found out how we are going to defeat this thing?

LB: Of course! I have my Lucky Charm! Of course! A pickaxe! A pickaxe to... uhhh.

CN: You don't know what to do with it?

LB: Of course I know! I just want to keep the suspense!

CN: I could use my cataclysm. But an out of control sentimonster with people inside must not be a great idea. Right?

LB: No. It is not. Ugh! All this negativity is messing with my head!

Rose: Go LB! Go CN! You are the best! You will save my girlfriend friend because I believe in you!

LB: We need a lot more positivity for that. Oh! I know who can help us.

LB: Rose, this is the pig miraculous that gives you the power of joy! You will use it for the greater good!

Rose: Woah! It is so pretty!

Rose and Pig Kwami: You are so cute!

Rose: What is your name?

Daizzi: My name is Daizzi and I am your kwami.

LB: Kwamis are what gives us our powers. You just have to say: Daizzi, bring joy!

Rose: Daizzi, bring joy!

LB: CN I would like you to meet...

Rose: Pigella!

CN: Seems like you found a solution, my lady.

LB: I told you to think positive thoughts!

CN: I am ready!

LB: Come on, let's go!

Reflekta: Everyone feels guilty because of me, Rose, Marinette, Adrien, Ivan, Mylene. Everyone feels guilty because of me, Rose, Marinette, Adrien, Ivan, Mylene. Everyone feels guilty because of me, Rose, Marinette, Adrien, Ivan, Mylene.

LB: Juleka!

Reflekta: Everyone feels guilty because of me, Rose, Marinette, Adrien, Ivan, Mylene. Everyone feels guilty because of me, Rose, Marinette, Adrien, Ivan, Mylene. Everyone feels guilty because of me, Rose, Marinette, Adrien, Ivan, Mylene.

Pigella: Gift!

CN: Is that a superpower?

LB: Pigella's power is to show to a person the thing their heart desires the most.

Pigella: A normal day in the classroom where everyone treats Rose normally. That's what you want. That is Juleka's greatest wish.

CN: Impressive!

Pigella: The power of positivity!

LB: We always need something spectacular to succeed.

Pigella: Everything is okay, Juleka. My name is Pigella and we came to save you.

CN: The sentimonster and its friends don't look really happy.

LB: Reflekta is not here anymore to control it. Where is the object with the amok?

Juleka: In the bin.

CN: You threw it in the bin?

Reflektas: You cannot escape guilt.

CN: Very well, Pigella!

Pigella: It's not about the problems! It's about how you solve them!

LB: We need to get out of here.

LB: The wind is too strong! We'll never make it out!

CN: Seems like your luck ran out!

LB: Luck? Of course! That's what the lucky charm is for. Gotcha!

LB: Time to de evilise! Bye bye little feather!

SM: You might have won. But with all positivity you can count on me to take you down one of these days (?)

LB, CN & P: Pound it!

LB: Juleka, this is a magic charm. With this, you'll never be a victim of SM ever again. Miraculous LB!

Rose: Thank you LB! Thank you for saving Juleka!

----

Scene 4 >> Scene 6

[nukyster-blog]

Changing Course Chapter 30) Words as a weapon

.-.-.

As a young boy, Ivar had always envisioned that their Great Hall was the biggest, strongest, and tallest house in the entire world. Its walls were high enough for Giants, and the glorious flames of it’s fireplace always managed to thaw every frozen hand and foot present, without fail. Feasts and celebrations were held; ale and mead flowed heavily, while thralls brought in entire roasted boars. 

Disillusion struck Ivar when he realised his ‘Great Hall’ could easily fit into the ‘Main Hall’ of Castle de Haar. 

As a new rainy day started, the Giant had carried him through the doorway and ordered him to scrub the muddy floor inside. Torches illuminated the hallway, which stood high and mighty. Every stone was even and square, the hall itself was a structure of perfection; made to protect and embosome power and wealth. 

It made Ivar feel like a slimy worm; even if the residents of the castle knew about his royal blood, he’d still be a dirty little heathen, as his ‘Great Hall’ stood closer to the shed he lived in right now. 

He kept his eyes firmly on the floor, as the Giant randomly snuck up on him to check his process. But, occasionally his curiosity got the best of him; every door that opened was a temptation he couldn’t resist. 

One room in particular stood out, it must be the dinner room. Endless oak tables filled it up, under the protection of suits of armour, swords crossed on the walls. Luxurious woven rugs covered the floors, while the candles in tremendous golden chandeliers kept the room lit at all times. 

Ivar took a lot of time scrubbing the doorway leading into the dinner hall, stunned and baffled at how human hands could have created such an immense place. 

It also filled him with bitterness; it was wrong that two fat pigs were rulers of such grandeur and inhuman beauty. It stung him even deeper when he realised Ludolf would eventually rule every corner of every hall. All because of blood.

The Giant half kicked, half shoved him up a twisting spiral staircase. Ivar struggled, but counted a hundred and twenty four steps. And, about six times a massive boot kicking his arse. 

The instructions of the Giant started to become redundant; scrub another hallway. It would have started to become boring, if it weren’t for Ivar being placed in what was now another, much higher, part of the castle. 

And, as it turned out, less supervised, as the Giant didn’t enjoy taking the hundred and twenty four steps up and down. 

The brute still held regular checks, but as Ivar counted the time in between, it gave him triple the amount of time to let his eyes linger and take forbidden breaks. Aside from that, it was very easy to hear the Giant approach; the man weighed a ton and his breathless panting echoed up the staircase about thirty seconds before his hideous face appeared. 

The rooms on this floor weren't as imposing as the dinner hall, yet they still sparked Ivar’s curiosity; although he hated the Christians it was interesting to see how they lived. Many of the doors were closed and Ivar didn’t dare think of opening one up. The few that were an inch ajar, however, were diligently inspected. 

Nothing really stood out, mostly storage rooms, a linen room and one that stank of human waste, Ivar quickly averted himself away from that one. 

Mischievous giggles and chattering reached Ivar’s ears as he slaved through the hallway. It was the sound of a pair of young women. More women than Ivar dared to approach; as a woman already had enough power to make him feel undesirable and ugly, everything up to a pair was simply impossible to face. 

But here, on foreign land, he did have one advantage; the language barrier. Although it would not make their disgusted expressions any less painful, at least any well-aimed spiteful words would pass him. 

That, and the fact that he didn’t think his presence would make much commotion; he was a simple slave after all. Sure, the crippled one that survived forty lashes, but that event happened a winter ago. He was old news, a slave; not the handicapped Viking son. 

Ivar lingered in the doorway and saw the two linen maidens handling a large wooden table loom. One was unknotting a ball of wool, while the other picked out a new color. Both were completely engulfed in their conversation. The topic of which must have been something extremely funny; one giggled loud enough for the entire castle to hear, while the other made exaggerated motions and faces. 

It was enjoyable to watch something so human and careless; a nice chance to observe two young women having a silly conversation. Aside from that, Ivar did enjoy observing the opposite sex. The fact that he couldn’t ‘get it up and please a woman’ did not lessen his interest. The mere existence of young women always felt like a thorn in his eye, though, because he was incapable of interacting with them. Such an experience always summoned up his shame, insecurity, and fire-red cheeks, yet their presence drew him in like  a moth to a flame. 

Women, the embodiment of the one thing he could never have; love. Sex, a relationship. A thorn not only in his eye; but deeply embedded inside of his heart too. Women, seductive but simply out of his reach, for he wasn’t even able to stand next to them, as an equal. No, his place was much closer to the floor. He was beneath women, always looked down upon.

  Someone tapped his shoulder and Ivar darted back in reflex. He had dropped his guard and hadn’t been counting the time in between the Giant’s last visit. Banging his head against the doorframe, he managed to knock the door open, alerting the two linen maidens. 

He managed to make a complete and utter fool out of himself, in less than a second. The opposite sex had that effect on him. 

To absolutely destroy the last bit of his dignity, he realised it had been the fair-maiden who touched his shoulder. 

The silence that emerged instantly changed into loud cackling laughter as the two linen maidens saw Ivar’s wide-eyed, dumbstruck expression, while repositioning himself against the doorframe. 

Even the fair-maiden hid a smile behind her hand and stepped aside of him, taking her place on a stool beside the linen maidens. 

Ivar tried to recollect himself by hastily brushing over the tiles on the floor. When the young women picked up their conversation and included the fair-maiden, Ivar dared to risk a peek. His worst nightmare came true, he was evidently the center of their focus, three pairs of bemused eyes watched his every move. 

Ivar found it wise to retreat and hopefully throw himself out of any available window. Not even that wish was granted, before he could push himself up onto his elbows and crawl away, the fair-maiden raised her hand. 

As a slave, Ivar obeyed her order, although laced with hesitation and confusion.

“Blijf,” spoke the fair-maiden with a lovely voice, “kom bij ons zitten,” and she tapped on a stock of woven blankets. 

Unsure Ivar balanced on the palms of his hands, staring up at each of the three women. Although the linen maiden still wore their bemused smirks, they weren’t laughing at him and the fair-maiden motioned at the blankets again. 

And so Ivar dragged his lower half across the room, sitting aside of the fair-maiden as her lapdog. His self confidence diminished and he kept his gaze in a straight line to the tips of his toes as conversation around him carried on. Nervous Ivar’s fingers plucked at the loose strings of the blankets he sat on.

“Wat is jouw naam?” Suddenly the conversation paused and tried to include him.

Ivar looked back up at the fair-maiden; an unwelcome flush of pink arsing in his cheeks. Now he did hate himself for being too stubborn to learn the basics of Dietsch. 

The fair-maiden noticed his struggle and turned towards the linen maidens: “Badelog,” she extracted her arm towards the blonde, “Duna,” she pointed at the brunette, “Mabelia,” she spoke last and pressed the palm of her hand on her chest. 

“Wat is jouw naam?” 

“Ivar,” his voice was quite, less sure.

“Ivar,” the fair-maiden repeated with her lovely dulcet voice, “Badelog, Duna, Mabelia en Ivar”, she repeated.

Ivar nodded sheepishly as his head got hazy. The three maiden, or Badelog, Duna and Mabelia chattered on, while picking up their craft. It surprised Ivar to see the fair-maiden, or Mabelia, pick up needlework. On the other hand, what fun was there to do inside this enormous castle for a young woman? 

“Hier, maak jezelf nuttig,” Duna directed herself to Ivar and gave him a knot of wool which was all tangled up. 

And so Ivar was set to work, to again do women's work. It beat scrubbing the floors by far. He literally sat high and dry inside the castle, all while quietly listening to three of his peers having a cheerful afternoon. 

This all ended abruptly as the Giant burst into the room, breathing like a mad horse. In his fist he was holding Ivar’s bucket and seemed to light himself on fire the moment he lay eyes on his cripple slave, seated in the midst of three women. 

Ivar automatically dropped the wool and brought his elbows towards his face. Last time the Giant caught him slacking on his duty he’d been thrown down the stairs. The closest stairs had a hundred and twenty four steps; he’d break every bone in his body if he tumbled down all those steps. 

The Giant leaped into action, took hold of Ivar’s collar and dragged him up until the tips of his toes levitated a few inches above the floor.

The two linen maidens cautiously jumped back behind the loom as the Giant raised the bucket and aimed at Ivar’s head. The blow was blunt and viscous, with water seeping over him. Aside from being in serious pain, being struck like this was humiliating and cruel. The Giant shook Ivar’s body until he lowered his arms to give the brute a direct aim at his face. Blood gushed down his nose after the second whack with the bucket and Ivar feared the third might cause him his front teeth. 

That third blow never came and he had to thank the fair-maiden for that. She rose with grandeur and grace, yet her voice turned into ice and anger. 

Without a speck of her usual submissive demeanor she started to fume at the Giant. Even though her frame and length was petite, she stood seven feet tall and seemed to outmatch the Giant in size and power. 

As Ivar hung defenseless in the man’s arm, the bastard seemed to shrink into the size of a mouse, muffling small words of apology to the fair-maiden, the soon-to-be ruler of de Haar. 

Ivar was released, his body sinking back onto the stock of wool, with the Giant’s jaw tightening as he shot Ivara deadpan expression before exiting the room.  

While pinching his bloody nose, Ivar could not believe he wasn’t sent a hundred and twenty four steps down the stairs. 

Comfort in the form of an embroidered handkerchief was kindly gifted, by Mabelia. She had a hard time controlling the tension on her face. She knew her place well, that was evident, but that didn’t mean that claiming her rightful place came naturally to her. Christians had such a strange belief; that women were less than men. Which didn’t make any sense, because although men were able to take life, the power was in the hands of women to create it. Ivar grew up with a strong and powerful example of a woman who ruled with grace and an iron fist.  

Here such women would be tongue tied, broken and overruled by their husband. In de Haar, this was Mabelia’s future, past, and present. 

Ivar pressed the white cotton against his nostrils and curled up a bit to keep the blood from running onto his clothes. 

Duna cleared her throat and soon conversation carried on, as the three young women picked up their daily routine. 

His face stung and all he tasted was blood, but by the Gods did he feel fortunate. Not strong, no, because he’d coward like a small child into the skirts of the fair-maiden. But she’d chosen to take him underneath her wings. She stood up for him, faced the Giant and victored by using words as her weapon.

After his nose stopped bleeding, Ivar dully picked the yarn back up and as he tried to untangle the wires, he also tried to unravel the chaos inside of his own mind. Because how could it be possible that someone of noble blood reached out to a crippled slave? 

At the end of noon Duna walked Ivar back towards the shed. While crawling down the main gate, Ivar spotted the Giant on his knees scrubbing the moss-covered stones of the staircases.  Grinning now would be a death sentence, so Ivar bit the inside of his cheeks to keep his face in shape. But inside he wasn’t just laughing, no, he was towering over that god damned bastard and pissing all over all the steps the Giant needed to scrub. 

.-.-.

Piglet had this sixth sense for destroying all forms of happiness. She must have learned to master that skill by studying the Giant. 

She knew, without a doubt, that Ivar had been inside the castle and when he crawled in with a smirk beaming off his face, her gut instinct must have told her it had something to do with the fair-maiden. 

Or at least with the Giant, because the man didn’t even bother to glance at Ivar as he shackled his slave back up for the night. By the way he slammed the door with all his might it was evident he hadn’t enjoyed taking over Ivar’s task. 

Piglet’s annoying habit of shutting Ivar out emerged. She ignored him and managed to lay an excessive amount of animosity in the few glares she did grant him. 

Right now, Ivar couldn’t care less about his companion’s hostility. For today he’d been the one ‘high and dry’ and learned the Giant’s Achilles heel; the fair-maiden named Mabelia. 

“Mabelia”, Ivar called her name under his breath. It sounded delicate, pure, like a flower. Thoughtlessly, Ivar petted Utstott’s featherless head. The bird had reclaimed his position on Ivar’s shoulder, as the rightful heir. 

Peering sightlessly at the wall facing him, Ivar had his free hand balled up, keeping the handkerchief from Mabelia out of Piglet’s sight. The young woman would either try to smack some sense back into him or retreat back into a seizure, if she knew about the affinity he held for the Christian ruler. 

Maybe he should allow Piglet to strike him, objectively Mabelia was his oppressor. In a world of black and white, it was clear the fair-maiden was the enemy. 

Yet his world started to seep through with specks of grey and very deep down inside, there was a small part of him that couldn’t express it’s delight for spending half a day in the midst of female peers. Without being ridiculed, without being treated like a second-class citizen. Today, he’d simply been Ivar, and that had been enough. 

Ever since the Giant made him a slave at castle de Haar, the foundations of Ivar’s entire being and upbringing had been shaken. The walls he mastered to build up high and mighty had been effectively damaged by feminine touch and care. It had shaken him to the core when he’d come to terms with the fact that he cared for Piglet. It had marked his back; his willingness to die for her. And now, three more female individuals decided to make his miserable life a little less bleak. It made no sense to Ivar, who never saw the thralls in Kattegat as humans, as people. If judgement day would burst through the doors of castle de Haar, if he found a way to burn the place to the ground, would he bring himself to kill those three women as well? They were Christians, for that reason alone they should face decapitation. Ivar yawned and slouched back against the border, ready to face another sleepless night filled with tossing and turning. 

.-.-.

A/N: See Ivar, not all of them damsels are vixens. So, why did I write this chapter? I think because in the TV show all women that surrounded Ivar wanted to use him -we all know who I mean- and all of them betrayed him. Now, without going too much into psychology, it’s hard for a person who’s not familiar with love and affection to make sense of the human need to be kind to another. As in the last bit; Ivar’s whole pov of the world is breaking down. He wants to be a monster, yet experiences that being ‘Ivar’ is accepted as well. Also, I am curious. As a Dutchie myself I added some ‘Dietsch’ in here (kay I will destroy the magic, it's not ancient Dietsch, I wrote in simple plain 2020 Dutch). Since Ivar refused to learn Dietsch he doesn’t understand the words, so I wonder, how clear was it what the women were asking of him? If it’s easier for you all, I can add the translation down here at the A/N, but since it’s Ivar’s POV, I kinda want to let the reader be left a bit in the dark as well. Oh and to calm your angered heart, the Giant will eventually suffer, badly. Xoxoxox Nukyster 

The kickass beta: @sarahh-jane The tagged ones: @youbloodymadgenius​ @xbellaxcarolinax @saldelys ​ @shannygoatgruff​ @pieces-by-me​ @apenas-mais-uma-pessoa​ @readsalot73​ @lauraan182 @conaionaru @sarahh-jane @peachyboneless  @adhdnightmare  If you’d liked to be tagged, please let me know:)

[the-firebird69]

Here you see the wise ass in the middle Trump AKA Charlie Manson your president of boy we should do what you want huh and on the left is Dan AKA Dave and what a small guy he must have it right and on the right is Terry cheesman and he's out to lunch as usual. They were arrested and they were put in jail for like a year by these two people who they can't figure out who they are. Now they know they are they just can't remember what they do and why they do it and seriously he's attacking for ships it's ridiculous the guys an animal and can't remember this my son's doing stuff that's completely meaningless and the idiot runs around makes meaning out of it and tries to blame you for everything and successfully confuses himself into it when this assholes doing this kind of thing to him. Now this whole thing is coming down on all of you and yeah Stan took over a death Star and he's going to start hitting stuff and it's going to take over more than one and he has people apparently Gran tarkinis one. It is up there now it's going to start his menacing s***, and it's threatening mack already not to destroy his hospital. And yeah he hates joining me Lord too and he's going to be hitting his people shortly huge Bunches of them and Brian Gerard is in with John rebelord God bless his soul he doesn't have one but holy s*** that guy's a man I got to admit though a lot of kind does not like these people at all in any way he's just a massive disgusting cannibal and sleaze ball and she doesn't get along in any way with him because she just starts taking stuff from someone's dirt poor I got to tell you I can't stand it anymore either. And we're not doing it not using him or using him up cuz he took tons of stuff this is a huge thief but he is not a fighter he's getting his ass handed to him is cleaning his clock every day people are sick of it yeah I guess so big muscle heads what a waste of time they are good and funny. So it'll take over some businesses because of what he's doing you're going to own them it won't be you fools and there's a few of them were taking today one of them is a giant metals company did this a****** thinks he's still owns.

I'm going to mention it in the next text because this was important you can see John remillard and his son Dan and he has a name too it's a bad one eats a lot of people cuz he's a fat pork and pig and Terry too big cannibals my son doesn't want them near him because they're losers and pigs. It's got a good point and behind them the cops is Tommy f and the first clone. And the rest of them and they held them in jail for a year and a pushed them to make clones so you make sure that these people are wiped out I'm tired of dealing with idiots

Thor Freya