#the guilt consumed him

[only10th]

Random thought of the day of Jiang Cheng being hunted by Wei Wuxian’s memory.

Jiang Cheng definitely saw Wei Wuxian everywhere he went. It had been months since the siege had happened, yet the shock of it had lingered ever since. It was an odd feeling, he had seen the dark cultivator die with his own eyes. He had the bamboo flute that had created an indescribable terror in the cultivation world to prove it. The evidence of said event was right there… Why couldn’t he shake the feeling that Wei Wuxian would come back?

No matter how many times he gazed at the flute, no matter how many times he would get praised for vanquishing the evil Yiling Patriarch, Jiang Cheng still saw the boy he grew up with running through the empty halls of Lotus Pier, his laughter carried on the wind that made his red ribbon flutter with each movement.

Sometimes the quiet and stillness of the night would be too much to bear, and some nights it was better to remain awake. Just like when they were younger, how he would notice Wei Wuxian’s absence because he used to sneak out and the room would fall quiet without the constant shifting in his sleep and soft sleep filled mumbles.

He’d often wake up in a cold sweat, muttering his name before dragging himself in a daze towards the lake in the middle of the night, because he knew Wei Wuxian liked to sneak out and take a midnight swim, especially after his mother found whatever excuse to punish him. But there was no one there. No one swims under the moonlight, disturbing the still waters of the lotus lake. There was no quick yet quiet sound of a certain sword cutting through the humid air, the head disciple of Yunmeng practicing his sword forms over and over, even if everyone in lotus pier knew he didn’t have a need to do it, because he was already extraordinary and a skillful swordsman.

“Jiang Cheng, It’s so hot in here, let’s go for a swim!” He’d hear that excited, cheerful voice next to him, as if time had remained frozen on the good days. If he focused his gaze towards the horizon, he could trick his mind into thinking Wei Wuxian was sitting next to him. “Look, the sky is so full of stars! I bet they look better from the lake, come on, we’ll be back before anyone notices!”

“I hate you… I hate you so much…” the words are gritted out, fingers gripping the dark bamboo flute tight and closer to his chest. The water sloshes quietly, and he hates how quiet it is. He never thought he would hate the silence so much. “I hate you, Wei Wuxian. You took everything from me…” He whispered over and over, hoping to believe those words over the tears silently sliding down his face.

[dannydevitosthiccdog]

I'm so not normal about this right now but this NEEDS to be said

Ethari knows

We don't know exactly how the lotuses work, but I hc that when Rayla went to save her parents and Runaan, she essentially 'died'

Ethari is watching Rayla's flower sink into the water, similar to Runaan's, and just being overwhelmed with grief. She was alive just days prior. She returned his moon bather thing? He's lost his daughter and husband. Then, through the tears, her lotus rises again, and then through the corner of his eyes, he sees something he thinks he'd never see again . Runaan's lotus slowly rises to the top. He doesn't know how it's possible, but Rayla brings her husband back from the dead.

Certifiable roller coaster of Emotions for Ethari in less than 10 minutes.

[ch0c00n]

sunflower week 1: nightmare

+closeup and bonuses

[pr0cyon-lotor]

I like yueshen (yueyuan???) if and only if

Shen Jiu is around living his best life, dating someone else, is the same person as Shen Yuan, or is also dating Yue Qingyuan. Because you guys don't understand the immense amount of guilt I feel when I read yueshen fics and Shen Yuan replaces Shen Jiu or Yue Qingyuan ends up liking Shen Yuan more than Shen Jiu

I feel so guilty it's insane. Like it's a fictional dude, yeah, but... His fictional feelings would be hurt, which hurts me

[chase-ing-shadows]

AU where Atreus gets stuck as a bear and him and Sindri have to go on a brother bear style adventure to make him human again.

also open to the idea that this happens after Ragnarok and this is the story of how Atreus and Sindri reconnect

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I love Jiang Cheng and I hope you agree. The most tragic thing about yunmeng siblings is that JC and WWX really love each other the whole time… I like to think they can fix it someday

Someday perhaps....in the meantime, I bet he's loving having dogs run around lotus pier. As a WWX deterrent of course. No therapeutic reasons at all.

[lonelychicago]

the water filled my lungs, I screamed so loud (but no one heard a thing)

buck/eddie | 6b spec fic | angst | 706 words

"Buck!" Eddie shrieks, yelling at the top of his lungs after watching it all unfold in the nightmare-ridden milliseconds. As he watches Buck fall.

The rainstorm is relentless, making the ladder wet and slippery and despite the ambulance lights and the flashlights from below— Eddie can barely see.

But Buck is hanging from the ladder truck.

Almost 100 feet in the air.

With no helmet.

The loud noise of the thunder is deafening, but still, it drifts away to the thundering of Eddie's own heart beating into his chest, roaring in his ears.

"Buck!" He screams but the blonde is unconscious, he thinks. He's hanging by his harness and dangling in the air— his body motionless.

Still—

Eddie sceams for him.

Usually, Eddie can keep his calm. He can force himself to take a step back and keep control in the midst of a crisis— He's a soldier, he's good at warzones.

But something about the clatter of Buck's helmet against the floor, something about the screams of their teammates below, something about the way Buck was basically hanging by a thread in between life and death.

Eddie loses all semblance of control and doesn't even think—

He just acts on impulse as he sprints up the ladder as fast as he can without slipping— his adrenaline pumping through his veins and kicking in full power.

Eddie is surprised by how fast he's climbing the ladder without stumbling but he doesn't stop. He can't stop.

He keeps going until he reaches Buck and grabs the man's harness, trying to pull him up.

The ladder is too slippery, the rain is too strong and Eddie ends up with his ribs digging against the steps and his arm aching from holding Buck's dead weight.

"Buck! Buck! Wake up!" Eddie screams so loud until his throat feels raw and his voice breaks. "Buck!"

Buck is unresponsive, his eyes are closed and he looks— He looks lifeless. Like every one of Eddie's worst nightmares coming to haunt him.

Eddie grunts and groans and his arms are starting to ache, but he won't give up. He won't! Because Buck never gives up, he's always fighting and pushing forward and after all these years, after all they've been through— The least Eddie can do is fight for Buck until he's able to do it himself.

The least Eddie can do, is save him.

After all the times Buck has saved him— in and out of the job.

“Buck! Come on!” Eddie begs, pleads, prays to anyone who's listening. He begs and prays for them to get out of this one alive. He grunts, as his exhausted body tries to pull Buck up. “Please!"

Eddie's entire body is clenching its muscles as he tries to pull Buck up but everytime he tries, the harness slides down more and more until it's almost slipping through his fingers. The gloves are not making anything easier but it's too late for Eddie to get them out.

Eddie is just shaking because of how fucking terrified he might drop Buck— that he might not be able to save the love of his life. That Eddie might not be strong enough this time.. Buck is heavier than he looks, and Eddie just—

His body is already hurting by the way Buck’s weight is anchoring him down so that the metal bars of the ladder dig painfully and uncomfortably against his ribs and chest.

And then—

He loses the battle.

He lets go.

"Evan!" He screams, almost a guttural and inhuman sound— like his very soul is living his body. Like his heart is falling just alongside Buck.

It is, if he's being honest.

He is powerless as he watches with horror and despair as Buck falls from the ladder and into the cold, hard pavement. As blood starts pooling from his head, the sickest shade of red tainting the street and washing away in seconds with the water.

He watches powerless as Hen and Chim make their very hardest to save Buck after Eddie failed.

He failed.

Guilt and a mix of emotions that are too strong and too overwhelming for him to decipher right now pool inside his stomach until he's dizzy and nauseous.

He failed Buck.

[blue-mood-blue]

What if Hua Cheng had memorialized the temple?

I don’t think he did, canonically. I imagine that was a memory he wasn’t keen to linger on, especially not to such an extent as to record it, to hover over the details in his mind and commit it to physical imagery. But I could see where he might - maybe catharsis, so that night can exist somewhere outside of his head. Maybe twisting, spiteful justice, so the world won’t be allowed to forget what it did to his god. Maybe just desperation, to record every shard of Xie Lian that he has in an effort not to lose a single piece while he searches.

It wouldn’t be graphic; I think it would be something more stylized, more symbolic. Xie Lian is tied to his own altar. He has replaced the divine statue that should be there instead, the god made present the way he was for Hua Cheng once, the way he was for all of his people once. He is surrounded by blades, but they aren’t piercing him yet. Hua Cheng can’t do that to him even in paint. Bai Wuxiang is not featured, because Hua Cheng would not force any version of Xie Lian into that monster’s presence, but there is a ghost fire hovering near. There is a small, crushed flower on the ground at the foot of the altar, like it was dropped from the Flower Crowned Prince’s hand moments before. The entire tableau holds its breath in the anticipation of something horrific.

It’s painted in a shadowed corner, with a cloth hung in front of it. Not out of shame, or even because of Hua Cheng’s own trauma - out of respect for the prince’s privacy, unwillingness to make a moment of such incredible, painful vulnerability a spectacle to anyone else without the prince’s say-so.

That doesn’t stop Mu Qing from finding it.

Mu Qing, who was already horrified, Mu Qing, who was looking for Xie Lian to drag him out of the caves immediately because he’d seen a statue that suggested things he would rather not think about in regards to his former prince… Mu Qing brushes the curtain aside in that tucked-away corner and stops.

A hundred blades are pointed at His Highness. A hundred faces leer and sob and stare. And Xie Lian sits at the center of it all, head lowered, waiting for the slaughter.

Is it so unreasonable that Mu Qing takes it for a threat? Is it so unreasonable of Mu Qing to drag Feng Xin to what he’s found, for the both of them to slip an arm around each of the prince’s own and pull him away from wherever that altar is somewhere in the complicated network of twisted, obscene worship? That thing painted on the wall - it can’t have ever happened. They would know. Mu Qing and Feng Xin, who spent every day of their early lives with the prince, beside the prince, trailing along behind the prince… they would know. They would have been there; they would have prevented it. This is the fantasy of a ghost king who laid ruin to thirty-three heavenly officials and found his thirst still unslaked.

(Mu Qing does not consider the eight hundred years of Xie Lian’s life he knows nothing about. Feng Xin does not consider the eight hundred years of Xie Lian’s life he knows nothing about. It’s a habit they’ve grown skilled at, over eight hundred years.)

They don’t explain to Xie Lian, so Xie Lian has no opportunity to explain to them what they saw. And Mu Qing isn’t wrong, when he concludes that Xie Lian has been stalked and watched and hunted since he was seventeen. He isn’t wrong. He just doesn’t know, yet, what direction the threat is coming from. There’s no time for anyone to tell him, or Feng Xin, who tied the restraints and provided the sword.

They’ll find out. Masks are made to be removed.

[froginabogg]

"in the other universe, i could walk? but i didn't have a brother?"

"well, in this universe, i win"

[memorydatas]

someone had mentioned that we don’t get to see dylan in present day and this is already something i was thinking about so. dylan timeline.

[ear-motif]

what kills me is that hannibal very clearly wants to be a provider and caregiver, but he just cant be because he can’t give up control over those he cares for

[amaranthdahlia]

i wonder what wouldve happened to kazumas wellbeing if ryuunosuke was the one to die in the ship instead of him ?? like its very much obvious ryuunosuke means ALOT to kazuma, to the point he told him things even susato was surprised of not knowing, did things for him that wouldve costed him his life mission, trusted him more than anyone else

would his world just turn upside down again but this time possibly permanent? would his mental state just plummet? be a hollow of himself ? hed still be driven by his mission, just moreso with the lack of care of his own life ? would living just. not matter to him anymore ?

[caesurah-tblr]

Was the fnaf movie what I wanted?

No, not at all.

Did I still enjoy every moment of it?

Yes, yes I did.

[good-beanswrites]

hiihiii i love the way u write shidou smmmm so if ur requests r still open id like something with shidou + lies <3

Hellooo thank you!! Shidou zoomed his way into my favorites and I really enjoy writing him, haha! Here's a bit of him hanging with the smoking group T1

The problem with lying, Shidou had found, is that you end up fooling everyone involved. If you spend time trying to deceive someone, the people close to you will also believe it. If you continue, it will affect all those in proximity. And, if you do it for long enough, you’ll start to deceive yourself. 

Shidou had certainly lost track of his lies for a while. Right before it had all come crashing down around him, he’d almost believed all the beautiful tales of hope and health he’d been spreading. He’d almost seen the world as the place he’d been describing. 

And then the truth hit him; it crushed him. Seeing all the blood on his hands, he’d tried to swear the whole thing off in what little time he had left in this life. But, like his other habits, it was a difficult one to break. 

He exhaled smoke into the room, listening to Mikoto go on about the busy days of his office job. Shidou was concerned how he still spoke about everything as if he’d be heading right back after all this. 

He wanted nothing more than to sit him down for an examination. There were several reasons he may not remember his crime -- it was most likely the emotional shock, but Shidou couldn’t rule out the possibility of a head injury, an illness, a seizure, a stroke, or even it being a side effect of whatever drugs Milgram must have given the prisoners when bringing them here. It took everything in him to let Mikoto be. After all, no one was going to request help from a “killer doctor,” and he didn’t have any of his usual equipment. 

So he just stood and smoked in silence. 

“What about you?” Kazui asked. “My line of work definitely stressed me out, too. But I don’t think I’ve seen you bat an eye at anything since coming here.” He nudged Shidou. “Are you just as cool under pressure as those movie doctors?”

Shidou’s lips angled to a smile. “I suppose so. Though, I believe they look calm because they’re meant to appear perfectly competent. I’m calm so that patients don’t realize I am imperfect.” 

Was that all he was, when he killed those people? Just ‘imperfect’?

Seeing the way Mikoto’s eyebrows shot up, he clarified, “I’m very competent, mind you. But no doctor is perfect. Many patients will panic if you show even the slightest sign of doubt.”

He teased, “so you just lie to everyone all day? Damn, remind me to watch out the next time I go in for a checkup.”

“No, it isn’t like that.” Wasn’t it? 

The other two continued the conversation, but Shidou grew quiet. Was that something else he’d started to believe? Another thing he’d convinced himself was normal when, in fact, it was very, very wrong?

“I get that. Confidence is really important when dealing with dangerous situations.”

“Heh, I’ve definitely put up a bit of an act around here for some of the younger prisoners. I think it’s been helping, they seem calmer from when this all started.”

That’s right -- his goal was always to help, to calm. He watched Mikoto rub his temple absently, and knew another headache was approaching and knew what to do for it. He’d helped Haruka get over a cold the past week. He and Kotoko had discussed nutrition tips the other day. He was still doing good. The smile that he put up for the others was still doing good. 

“Well, I’m glad we’ve got a professional around here.” Kazui gestured his cigarette to Shidou, snapping him away from his thoughts. “Nothing against the guard, but it’s nice to have someone like you who can help me look out for everyone.”

“Yeah, feel better about being here already!” Mikoto slung an arm around him. The boy's expression showed he was trying to appear in on some joke. “So, doc, you think that all of us are getting out of this crazy place in one piece?”

Shidou wanted to warn him the situation was more serious than he knew. Milgram was not a big joke. He was not a man to be trusted. He was not a man to be forgiven.

But old habits die hard. 

“Oh, I'm sure of it.”

[stellamancer]

i know i've said it before but i was thinking earlier today about how when it comes to selfships my partner has to be like... able to handle me getting mad at them and like not like a little mad but like volcanic eruption screaming crying anger. and i think that ●●●● would be able to take it.

and the other one who could is probably bakugou.

[tea-cat-arts]

Kevin is a fun character for me because the character the game repeatedly tells us he is and the character the game repeatedly shows us he is are just… blatantly two different characters, but regardless of which one you choose to believe is canon, he’s still one of the most sympathetic mf in the game and I will be very upset if he’s actually killed off