#the last 6 years of hyperfixation have been….hard…….

[pyporapy]

You guys have no idea how much word vomit I’m holding back at all times

[somelazyassartist]

Sometimes you just don't sleep for 3 days because you're too busy weeping over the fact that a 111 year old mail ship at the bottom of the Atlantic will probably completely erode within your lifetime. for fun

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

the cockles masterlist, part 6

now split in SIX parts for link limit reasons

WARNING: this post glitches and crashes on mobile. it’s recommended you view this on your desktop, or at least on your mobile browser rather than the app. if my desktop theme is hard on your eyes, try an extension such as Just Read or Reader View to customize the layout and colors.

if you’re still having trouble viewing, or if you don’t want to have to switch between the five posts, here’s all of the links compiled into a google doc.

welcome to the cockles masterpost, a labor of love/insomniac hyperfixation.

i recently wrote this cockles manifesto, but after it got a lot of notes and i kept adding more links to it, i decided i should just go through my 8 years of archives and compile all the cockles posts in a much more accessible and navigable way. after everything with the series finale and destielgate, i figured we could use some happiness, and it turns out there are a lot of people who’ve never heard the cockles gospel.

important disclaimer: yes, i do think that jensen and misha have a private romantic/sexual relationship, but no i do not, in any way, think that they have ever cheated on their wives. we think they are polyamorous, which is a real and valid thing, and misha is openly poly. some people love more than one person, and that’s okay. their families are close and we love and support all of them.

second important disclaimer: despite the amount of innuendo below, this is not about fantasizing about two hot guys fucking. cockles is about the joy of witnessing two people who love each other and make each other happy and are disgustingly cute together. we’re not fetishizing, we’re just appreciating what they publicly share with us.

third important disclaimer: because some of y’all don’t know, the cardinal rule of cockles is that we don’t talk to cockles about cockles. DO NOT leave any comments on their social media accounts implying anything. not even green and blue hearts. they know that we know, but it’s on us not to make it weird. if we’re too obvious and say too much, they might start sharing less. don’t say anything.

for the sake of my sanity, these are in no particular order.

last updated: 3/8/23

🐚 denotes new content

part 1 (That’s Suspicious, mishananigans)

part 2 (#pray4jensen, gag reel hijinks, some posts i’ve written about cockles and rps)

part 3 (know your cockles history, the intimacy)

part 4 (the glory of jibcon)

part 5 (just for cute)

the glory of jibcon continued:

jib11 opening ceremony whispers and giggles

jensen turning his back as misha walks up to hug him | more gifs | video

"just swallow it" "he's always giving that advice" | video

"[danneel] does refer to misha as her boyfriend. which is funny, because so do i." | more gifs | video | fan discussion of this moment

misha sitting on the floor to watch jensen sing, jensen getting shy

jensen serenading misha with "angeles" | video angle 1 | video angle 2 | video of jensen looking at misha, getting flustered, and stopping suddenly | more gifs | photo | misha sitting on the floor watching | another misha photo | the significance of ‘angeles’

"i think you look nice and dapper" ... "then [jensen] went in for a kiss and i was like, whoa!" "hey, when in rome!"

the destiel song they improvised together | video | gifs minus lyrics

big dad angry machine

"i've been haunted by those bear underwear for some time"

jensen "woo!"ing when misha mentions gotham knights

jensen's face going soft when he looks from jared to misha | video

after misha says a unicorn toy is vibrating "for her pleasure", jensen pretends to sit on it | gif

misha moves his chair further away, jensen scoots his closer | video | “what are we doing? am i coming over?”

jensen spinning the wheel then staring at misha for ten seconds straight | video | photos

jensen tells everyone to stop cheering for misha to sing after misha makes it clear he doesn't want to | gifs + bonus “there goes jared with his job security” 👀

jensen winking at misha

jensen saying he's going to plan a big birthday party for misha's 50th, which is more than a year away | video

"you're my canary" | video

whispers and laughing (feat. misha's missing tooth) | photos

"i love those dishes" "you love those bitches??"

misha hyping jensen's new album | video

"my caretaker tells me i had a very nice birthday."

jensen staring at misha’s ass when he bends over

"this is our song"

roasting jared for bragging sam is tougher than dean | gifs

jensen staring at misha before making a birthday wish

riffing on “the european version of spn”: one, two, three, four

chatting about taking their families to amusement parks, jensen refers to misha as ‘daddy’

jensen’s nickname kink in full swing at jib11

12 years of jibcon secrets

head-leaning selfie with briana buckmaster | edit

2023 jibcon11 tag



just for cute (continued):

adorable photo ops: 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92   93 94

2012 spn wrap party photo

300th episode red carpet flirting

"misha decided jensen was the gift" photo op

hand measuring photo op

[alexwilltellyouthings]

Entirely self indulgent rating post about the top 10 TV shows that made me fucking insane for some reason

10. Sense8

God, this was so good. Such a blessing. I saw part of the cast during a Pride Parade and it's one of my favorite memories. I felt every possible emotion with this show, I love it.

9. The Last of Us

This is kind of a cheat, because the obsession comes from the games, but it is what it is. It's one of the few games that had a big impact on me and I closely relate it to my relationship with my dad. Can't wait to cry my heart out at season 2.

8. Good Omens

It's a given, isn't it? That stupid angel with his stupid demon and their stupid God. GRRRAAWW. A lot of thoughts and feelings came from the fandom, I have to point out. It's been very nice.

7. The Umbrella Academy

I have the first issue of the comics autographed by Gerard Way!! I mean, yes, it's because I'm a MCR fan, but it became even more precious after I got into the show. I'm rewatching right now, preparing for the last season. I'll be a mess when I say goodbye to them. Can't even really think about it too hard or I'll cry right now.

Continues under the cut

6. Our Flag Means Death

LISTEN THIS CHANGED EVERYTHING TO ME. What do you mean we can have a show THIS queer? It's all I want now. I ate it up. I smiled so much. I wanted this so badly and had no idea.

5. Interview with the Vampire

Feels like it should be top 3 honestly but I'll get there. This is also a cheat, I've been reading the Vampire Chronicles since I was like 15. Growing up with Anne Rice probably messed me up but hey at least I have great taste. And seeing them on screen? The way they made it BETTER? And Lestat?? Who has been haunting me for 15 years on and off??? And the second season and their reunion and and and?????????? I'm STILL insane about them and will be forever, I'm afraid.

4. Doctor Who

Listen. Listen. Okay. Yeah. What can I say? If you get into it, you're doomed. And I have been doomed for 10 years at least. I stopped watching for a while and got back last year, and it hit me all over again. I love this dumbass genius alien in a way that's calm, even. Just a permanent part of who I am now.

3. The Untamed

The year was 2022, it had been a while since I had a proper fixation and I didn't think it would happen with this danmei live-action, but then came Wei Wuxian. Guys, if I tell you I fell in love. Couldn't stop thinking about him. Everyday I was plagued by his smile and red ribbon and tragic backstory, yadayadayada. I really like other characters too, and their stories, but WWX did something to me that I still don't quite understand.

2. Queer as Folk (US)

This was a looong time ago and it didn't really persist over time like the others, but it was my first actual obsession. I was clinically insane over these gays. I had no one to talk to about them, so for every episode I wrote several pages of notes to comment to my (only) friend at school the next day, the poor thing. It was pretty much all I talked about because I spent EVERY MINUTE we had to talk going over the notes and explaining the episode. Like, between classes, during breaks, everything. Months of that. She held on firmly because she was a good friend, but I'm aware it must've been terrible. Like I said, insane.

1. Dead Boy Detectives

Maybe I'm putting this up here because it's my current hyperfixation? Maybe. But I don't think I have felt something hit as strongly as this since QaF over there. This time I can participate in fandom so I don't need to write every thought I have because it's all a big talk anyway, but I'm still pretty much having those thoughts all the time for *checks notes* nearly three months. I'm writing more than I have in years. I'm back at Tumblr after I don't know how long. I'm staring at GIFs over and over like I have the fucking time for that. I'm distracted at work daily. I talk about it in therapy. I have the main cast's notifications on. I'm getting involved in fandom discourse sometimes even knowing I shouldn't. It's a nightmare. I love it. I love them.

If you read all of this, congrats! Now you know how my mind works, kinda!! I'm open to talk about any and all of these shows. It's amazing how they mess us up. It's also scary, but anyway.

[kindlespice]

🍉 actual hiatus 🍉

hi hi! so... it's been a while! *checks notes* i have not posted since august... of last year x.x i've been lurking around a bit occasionally dropping likes here and there, but for the most part been entirely absent. i feel like it's wayyyy past time for me to check-in, let everybody know i'm okay and all that jazz. but i am declaring this an actual hiatus now

tl;dr

i lost the simblr itch, i thought "surely it will come back" but it never came back and now i'm hyperfixating on other things.

i'm gonna put specifics under a read more if anyone's that interested in what i've been doing, what i will be doing, where i'll be hanging out now, etc. but it's really nothing big or major--just interests changing.

⭐ my content + patreon

(since it's kinda important and i want everyone to be able to see this) i'm not deleting this account and i'm still keeping my content up both on patreon and sfs! you will still be able to download things for free!!! i will be deleting my patreon tier! even though it was basically a donation tier, i feel bad keeping it up knowing i'm consciously not making more sims content (or being really active in the community) for the foreseeable future i'll be reaching out to existing patrons and making a similar post over there as well about the tier change!

i also wanna say thank you to everyone who's ever followed, donated, liked, commented, messaged, lurked or just been sweet and kind to me ❤️! simblr will always have a special place in my heart, so i don't think i'll ever leave leave, but i owe it to you guys to let you know that i'm making the conscious decision to be inactive for some time.

as a closing statement, fk isr*el and i am absolutely 100% without a doubt full stop

AGAINST GENOCIDE AND FOR A 🍉 FREE PALESTINE 🍉

you should be too if you're any kind of decent human being :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

⭐what will happen to my account?

nothing really. or at least nothing different from how it's been for the last year and some change XD like i said, i'm still keeping my blogs up, downloads won't move, etc. i am just committing to not actively posting content or really being on simblr that much. maybe i'll drop some likes or comments when the mood hits (like i have been), but not really much else. i guess if there's any questions about this i'll answer them since my active attention will be back on simblr for at least a few days while i clean some things up. i would like to do one last thing as a kind of parting gift at some point... i never did end up cleaning up my downloads page or organize the thumbs/sorting for my cc like i said i would so maybe i'll do that before it gets away from me again but i'm not making any promises

⭐why am i on hiatus?

nothing bad happened or anything, i just.... lost interest. I already wasn't really playing the game that much even when i was super active; i mostly just took pictures and did edits. but i just wasn't having as much fun as i used to, opening the game started feeling like a chore, i wasn't all that inspired to make content, etc. i've burnt out on simblr on many an occasion so i just took a break like i always do but it kept going...and going.......and going.........until i realized it had been FOREVER and i hadn't really felt the itch to create here during that time, it wasn't coming back, and i was having much more fun doing other stuff. the times i did consider coming back it was more bc i felt bad about not creating rather than any actual desire to create. so i had to think long and hard about whether or not i even really wanted to come back. and i flip-flopped for probably 6 months--trying to drum up creative projects and never committing--before coming to the conclusion that i think i just need to call it a hiatus XD

⭐what have i been up to?

annoying my family with boycott lists and making them buy alternatively :D bouncing back and forth between many different hyperfixations... i fell back down the skyrim rabbithole several times, genshin, stardew, acnh, made a million notion pages i'll never use--the usual suspects. BUT BG3! at one point i swore i was gonna come back end of july/early aug but then BG3 dropped early and it was over... i definitely did A LOT of heavy lurking here when the girlies were all posting GORGEOUS tavs omg... i spent a while getting ts3 up and running, even made a sideblog thinking "maybe i'll come back with ts3 content that would be cool!"... just to not end up playing and not using the sideblog and not coming back -.- 4LIENS were supposed to have a comeback like... 4 separate times and it just did not happen... i've been making a concerted effort to get back into drawing and art. i've been in a kind of... depression? slump? with it for years now; always feeling like it wasn't good enough, that i should be better since i'm so "gifted and talented", i should be monetizing it and not "wasting" all that skill, blah blah imposter syndrome blah blah getting frustrated when i'm not 100% perfect all the time blah blah feeling like a disappointment to my family blah blah... but i am HELLA sick and tired of having all this anxiety and fear surrounding something i used to love so much so i'm pushing through! i've been trying out lots of different mediums and actually using my sketchbooks and just generally trying to introduce more fun into the process and stop being so hard on myself all the time. i picked up crocheting for a bit. at this point i haven't touched it in so long i probably forgot how to do it but... maybe one day i'll make a blanket or smth I started journalling (relatively) regularly for a bit. i was feeling really down at several points throughout the year and i thought having daily entries would help combat the feeling like every day was just absolute shit. on the contrary, the majority of days are good--at worst mundane--the bad ones just tend to stick out more. trying to get back into reading again... i miss doing it for leisure and taking notes bc i want to and not because i have a 300 annotation school assignment :P and a whole bunch of other stuff probably but it's hard to remember every single thing that's been on my mind for 16 months lol

⭐what will i be doing / where can you find me now?

i'm hoping to start a webtoon/build up art socials in the new year as a part of my "reconnecting to art" process. i made some art socials @kbearie-art here and @/kbearie_art on insta, youtube, tiktok, and twitter; they're empty for now though bc i got scared the minute i made them and never posted anything -.- but i'll be real with you... twitter is a cesspool, and im not fond of tiktok so i think tumblr, insta and youtube will probably be where i'll dedicate my time i've been thinking about getting back into posting videos on youtube again just in general. in fact this thought was the final push for me to make this post bc i was like... if i post a video out of the blue with no word to simblr that would be fked up XD i play games all the time and i had such a fun time recording, learning to edit and stuff that i think i'd like to pursue that further. i wouldn't be doing sims related stuff though bc...well... i don't play anymore XD but other games ya know. my other youtube is kspice (the same place with my tutorials, speed edits, the acnh vid, etc.) if you'd be interested in that

and i guess that's pretty much it!

again, for at least the next couple of days i'll probably actively have my eyes on this post/simblr in general (and i am gonna clear out my inbox hopefully) so if you have questions i'd ask em quickly before i go back into hiding XD

thanks again, i love you guys, free palestine, and have a good new year! 🍉⭐💖

[writerscafehub]

𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀: 𝐕𝐢𝐜

@sunflowersteves || @sunflowerstevesmain

From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

3.5 bc I read an old fic the other day and I’ve improved soooooo much but there’s always room for improvement!

2. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works? I feel like I’m really good at requests.

Sometimes I think it’s hard to imagine what someone is asking for, but as a daydreamer I feel like I can visualize it so well. 

3. Are there any writers that inspire you?

Famous authors include Toni Morrison, Stephen King (minus the cocaine💀), and Neil Gaiman. In the server, literally everyone inspires me all the time and is so so supportive. Some mutuals that I so aspire to write like are @moonlightprose, @fushic0re, @darkficsyouneveraskfor, @fluffyprettykitty

4. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

I would have to say first time (a carmen berzatto x reader) or broken hearts (eddie munson x reader). I think I really capture Carmen and Eddie’s characterization, especially how they would act in a relationship. Also, for sure my best angst. 

5. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write and which do you find most difficult to write?

I’m a hyperfixation girly so the easiest are ones that I’m currently obsessed with (joel, miguel o’hara, etc.) and the most difficult are the ones that I still love but have fallen off the obsession wagon (Steve Rogers, geralt, din djarin, etc.) 

6. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

Smut bc I’m a hoe ✨ also it’s been a year and joel miller wont leave my mind, so 

7. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about!

This has literally been on my WIP for over a year, but it has to be a notting hill AU with Sam wilson. I’ve been excited to write that for ages. 

8. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Marvel. I wrote a spider girl fic when I was in middle school lmao

9. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)? jealousy fics and protective fics,,, yum 

10. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

Prolly the divorce trope bc I get so mad at characters. 

11. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

It was a request but eddie munson x reader with a guitar head in the coochie and it was great.

12. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

I love poly fics! Love Stucky x reader and steddie x reader are my fav. they’re just so good. 

13. Do you listen to anything while you write?

I usually have to listen to classical or lofi beats bc I’ll get distracted soooo easily. 

14. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

One shots 

15. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

As a certified day dreamer, absolutely. Any longer fic I’ve written, I literally day dream how it’s gonna play out. I did that a lot with ain’t no sunshine (joel miller x reader). 

16. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

I am so bad at angst and I would love to write action/violent fics but I always feel like I can’t describe it for the life of me. 

17. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

Someone commented that they turned my notifications on so that they could see when I posted the fic and that made me giggle and kick my feet. 

18. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

It’s currently a work in progress, but it’s a period smut fic. It’s not necessarily out of my comfort zone but more of I’ve never written a fic like that before. It’s for Miguel. I’m so ready 👀

19. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

tooth-rotting fluff 

20. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

I do not ❤️ 

21. If you could enter the universe of any one of your fics, which would it be and why?

I would die in literally every sci-fi or fantasy world that I love (star wars, game of thrones, lord of the rings, the last of us, attack on titan, etc.) so I’m gonna have to pick marvel. I’d have a fighting chance. 

22. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

tbh the hardest part for me is starting. Introductions tear me down every time rip. Sometimes, I just start in the middle because it’s so much easier. 

23. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

You pause, just for a moment. You could feel the adrenaline kick into your system, and a numbing pain flushed out your senses. The blood felt warm and sticky—prompting the sleepiness to feel calming, and it urged you forward into its safe surroundings. But then you felt it. Panic. Panic rose in your neck as you looked around for someone. Your hand darted out to try and find them, but your mind was starting to become blank from the fuzzy warmth of pain. Joel. You needed Joel. 

24. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

Ok listen, I wanna write so bad. The last fic I wrote was in March and I’m feeling that writing withdraw. My brain needs to get into hyperdrive so my fingers can type all day long. I have so many fics planned

[prettyboybuckley]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @saybiwithme @bi-buckrights @zainclaw

How many works do you have on ao3?

160

What's your total ao3 word count?

1,070,239

What fandoms do you write for?

I've mostly written for 9-1-1, though I started off with Shameless (6 fics) and I have written some for Teen Wolf (5 fics). There's one 9-1-1 crossover with Schitt's Creek.

Top five fics by kudos:

parents always yelling (telling us to get our acts together)

i just want something to hold on to (and a little of that human touch)

I will come to you (even in my sleep)

open up again (i believe in second chances)

exes and the oh's

Do you respond to comments?

Always, even if it takes me months. I actually just caught up again (there's still a bunch to go, but right now the oldest is 17 days ago instead of 250 days...). It's just a rule I have for myself, and even with the backlog I've kept it up so far, so I'm not going to stop doing it now.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm not a big fan of angsty endings, I generally try to at least make it a hopeful ending or, in the case of the college au, use an epilogue to fix things.

But I guess sunny skies & summer highs qualifies as an angsty ending simply because of the cliffhanger (and yes, there is still going to be a continuation, I'm working on it 🙈).

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Choosing one out of 160 is really hard, but I think tell me, will you stay or will you run away is definitely one that deserves a mention here, because it already has a happy ending and then the epilogue just makes it even better 🥰

Do you get hate on fics?

Not commented on the fic itself, no. I've had some people talk shit about my fics on twitter, though, and not even vaguely but calling me by (user)name.

Do you write smut?

Is grass green? Yeah, I write smut 🤭 Thanks to two times kinktober, I have 95 explicit fics, by far the most used rating for my fics.

Craziest crossover:

let's have some fun tonight is my 9-1-1/Schitt's Creek crossover fic for 9-1-1 Rarepair Week, and my only crossover fic

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

My head over feet Buddie valentine's two-parter got posted as one chapter in Wattpad work with over 30 fics once. Filed a DMCA and Wattpad took it down within two hours.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Two of my fics have been translated into Russian afaik, one on ao3 and one on Ficbook

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope. It may be a nice challenge for the future? Not sure who I'd do it with.

All time favourite ship?

Gotta go for Buddie on that one, lol. Especially if you look at my writing history. But I often tend to hyperfixate on one ship at a time (current reading obsession is McDanno)

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Buck's POV of if love is art then you might be my masterpiece. I really want to, but at this point it's been two years since the original so I don't know if it'd be worth it either. (I know not everyone was happy about how I ended it, but I doubt any of them are still waiting for more). Writing a different POV of the same fic takes an amount of planning that my brain just really struggles with. And I could pick up where the last chapter (before the epilogue) picks up, but I think that way there would be some crucial information about Buck missing.

What are your writing strengths?

I've been told quite a lot of times that I am good at keeping characters, well, in character, even when putting them in partial or complete AU's. Of course, what is in character or not is subjective, but I do always challenge myself to work as much of the canon backstory and personality into who they are in the AU as possible.

And I like to think I'm pretty good at writing smut.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm terrible at pacing, which multiple of my long fics prove. It'll be drawn out first and then suddenly rushing. And being ESL I do struggle with things like sentence structure and grammar pretty regularly still.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

As long as there is some kind of translation provided somewhere I like it, but I'm not so quick to use it myself. Not beyond a few Spanish words here and there (generally pet names between Eddie and his family we've seen on the show or the occasional curse word when I feel it fits better than an English one, but I usually need to employ help from Spanish-speaking friends for those).

First fandom you wrote in?

Shameless! I binged that right before I started 9-1-1 and combined with the creative writing minor I was doing, it was actually what got me back into writing in general and what made me write my first ever fic.

Favorite fic you've written?

My in your arms i feel safe-series (which I always lovingly refer to as the ace kink fic) is definitely one of my favorites simply because of how personal it is to me and for the reason behind me writing it in the first place.

Other strong contenders are i would've loved you forever (it's never enough but i wanted it to be) and i'm begging you, come home to me (Teen Wolf, Thiam)

tagging @monsterrae1 @rogerzsteven @loserdiaz @watchyourbuck

[emilybeemartin]

Came for the Racoon Comic, stayed because you're a delight, and may have tripped face-first into a new obsession re: Queen's Thief because of your art. I'm not usually a YA or Romancey type reader, and honestly it's been really hard for me to read for fun since leaving school and floundering as an adult (undiagnosed-til-adulthood-ADHD crowd holla). But seeing your art of Gen, I thought to myself, "Smug, vain, sneaky boys with gray morals are a fav, might as well see what's up so I can understand what's going on in these gorgeous arts." I promptly devoured The Thief in a matter of days--DAYS, I say, which is shocking given that the last book I read (approximately a year ago) took 6 weeks and several days of overdue fines. Now I'm over here vibrating while waiting for Queen of Attolia to come off hold at my local library. New hyperfixation unlocked and it feels awesome.

All this to say, thank you. For helping me get back into reading, for making beautiful art for us strangers to enjoy, and for being an all around cool person. And good luck with your surgery! I'm sorry it has to happen, but I hope it works out well for you and recovery is easier and quicker than originally thought. <3

Ohhh my gosh, you have no idea how much you just made my day! The Queen's Thief has been one of THE most important pieces of media in my life from a really young age, and I never felt more at home online than when I found the QT fandom here on tumblr. I'm so glad you loved the first book so much and that you're enjoying reading again!

Other amazing QT fan artists include @shebsart, @storylinecaroline, @artfrostedleaf, @mothsartart, @ardenetoile, @shrimpchipsss, @plantagenista, @emerydraws, and sooo many others. @fuckyeahqueensthief and @ofgodsandthieves are both great fan accounts that repost all the good stuff. And, of course, @meganwhalenturner herself is on tumblr as well!

[sixty-silver-wishes]

ranking every hyperfixation I can remember having

Fish: Since I was two years old up until like, middle school, I was obsessed with fish and sea life in general. I wanted to be a marine biologist for years. I still cry when I go to aquariums because seeing all the kids watching the fish reminds me of myself at that age. 8/10. Basic hyperfixation, but fish are still pretty cool

The American Flag: For some reason, I remember having an American flag phase in preschool. Not even having to do with America or American history or some other reason; I just thought the flag itself went hard. I can't tell you why. 2/10 because my patriotism levels are at an all time low as of now

Spin the Globe: Spin the Globe was the animated host of National Geographic's "Really Wild Animals," a series of wildlife documentaries for children. For some reason, I latched onto this guy HARD when I was in kindergarten.

I watched the ocean one every day, to the point where I memorized it and spent the whole class day writing down the script from memory (I don't understand how I didn't get my ADHD diagnosis until I was an adult). I rewatched the ocean documentary last year for some nostalgia, and I found out that Spin was REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING. I don't know what 5 year old me was thinking. 1/10.

The Wonder Pets: This was my favorite show when I was in, like, first grade. Unfortunately, that's right about the age where kids think it's cool to joke about brutally murdering children's show characters to prove how mature they are, so really liking a children's show was social suicide. The animation in Wonder Pets did slap tho. 4/10

Power Lab VBS Bible Buddies: Like I said, my hyperfixations were weird as a kid. I was raised Baptist Christian, and every year, my church held a VBS (Vacation Bible School), which for those who don't know, is basically a five-day Christian summer camp. Each day, they would hand out these figurines called "Bible Buddies," which each were supposed to represent a different lesson about the Bible. One year (I think I was in second grade?) the theme was "Power Lab," which had a science laboratory theme. These were the "Buddies" for that year:

I used to play with the figurines of these guys all the time. I can't tell you why, but I thought they were so cool. I also think I was enamored with the lightning bolt lady for some reason? Anyway I'm giving these guys a 4/10. Low score for lameness, but points for originality.

Word Girl: I was raised with PBS as a kid because I didn't have cable until maybe second grade, and I LOVED Word Girl. And I majored in English, so I think that explains a lot. The humor of that show still holds up, and I was so happy to see it made a comeback with fans last year. 8/10; would watch Word Girl again

The Future is Wild: When we finally got cable, my sister and I watched a lot of Discovery Kids. Our favorite show was The Future is Wild, which was a sort of speculative evolution sci-fi for children. These characters would go on adventures in the future and learn things about the animals that lived in environments that had been altered due to global events, and I really liked all the creatures, especially the "Ocean Phantom." Also looking back I think I may have had a crush on CG? Her annoying-ass voice and drama trying to balance working for her father vs. being loyal to her friends had me in a chokehold

6/10. Batshit insane show (I mean. it is in the title), but we love women in STEM

A Series of Unfortunate Events: This is the mother of all my more recent hyperfixations. Something was set in motion here that could not be reversed. 10/10 hyperfixation. this book series made me who I am

Guardians of Ga'Hoole: Along with Unfortunate Events, I was also into the ridiculously violent middle-grade animal xenofiction series in elementary school. I loved these books, and I was so disappointed when the movie came out because of all the ways it diverged from the plot. 8/10 for antifascism and owls, but points docked off because I could never get far in the DS game

Pokemon: So, my mom was pretty sheltering when I was really little, so there was no Pokemon or Harry Potter in the house until I was in 4th grade and she loosened up some. I'd wanted to get into Pokemon for a long time because everyone brought the cards to recess, and one of my friends gave me a holographic Mew card that she said was "really special." My mom threw it away, along with the rest of the cards my friend gave me, because she didn't like the words "psychic" or "evolution" on there lol. But once I was allowed to play my first Pokemon game (Heartgold), I got really into it. If my old Deviantart can be found somewhere in the dark, dark corners of the internet, it was filled with awful Pokemon MS paint drawings. Sometimes I still think about them. 7/10, because I still like Pokemon a lot, but docking points off because my Pokemon hyperfixation introduced me to the more unsavory parts of the internet at a young age.

Harry Potter: This one goes hand-in-hand with the Pokemon thing. Because Harry Potter was forbidden fruit in my household until my mom eventually decided it wasn't that bad, I got really into it when I was a kid. It was less about Harry Potter itself, but more about the fact that I could finally experience something that everyone else had been enjoying for so long. Obviously now that JK Rowling is, well, JK Rowling, I've distanced myself from Harry Potter, and have begun to think about it more critically, but just like everyone else that used to be into it, it did give me some fond memories. 1/10, with the 1 point going solely to Neil Cicierega.

My Little Pony: Got into it in fifth grade and watched it up until freshman year of high school. Not a lot to say about it to be honest; I liked some of the fan works well enough, and I don't have any strong feelings on it now. 5/10

Doctor Who: Oh god; who didn't have a Doctor Who phase in middle school? This was me at my most obnoxious. I constantly wore my 10th Doctor "Allons-y" shirt everywhere I could, and even insisted on wearing 3D glasses at times (I still have them). I quoted the damn show in every conversation (I used to be able to recite the "wibbly wobbly timey wimey" monologue word for word). I'm just glad I didn't get the Hot Topic TARDIS dress that I wanted for so long. I keep finding Doctor Who merch in my room, long after I thought I'd cleared it all out. To be clear, I don't hate Doctor Who, but it just brings up a lot of memories of the annoying kid I used to be in the past. 6.5/10

Celtic Woman: Celtic Woman was the first band I actually got really into. I'd been introduced to their music through Endless Ocean 2, and I would spend hours listening to them and watching their concert videos. Unfortunately, being a middle schooler and listening primarily to Celtic folk music and inspirational songs is not a very good combination, but it is satisfying to see all the people who probably would have bullied me back then dancing to "Teir Abhaile Riu" on TikTok. "Dulaman" was my favorite song, and I was tragically determined to sing it for a good while, despite not knowing any Irish Gaelic. I miss the original band, but their new stuff is all right. 7/10

The Legend of Zelda: More specifically, Skull Kid. My first Zelda game was Ocarina of Time, but Majora's Mask was really the peak of my hyperfixation. Skull Kid was easily my favorite character, and I once dressed up as him to school during Spirit Week. I also really liked Fierce Deity Link, and would roleplay both him and Skull Kid on DeviantArt. But the biggest impact my Zelda hyperfixation had on me was kickstarting my love of playing music. I took piano lessons for a short while and started out playing Zelda songs, and I was always listening to video game soundtracks. I switched over to violin later and also took up the ocarina (which I did get pretty serious about for a while. You won't see me playing video game songs anymore, but I still love to play.) 8/10 for the impact, with points taken off because I kept starting games but never finishing them

Lord of the Rings: Got really into Tolkien in high school. My best friend and I bonded over the books, and I also ended up reading the Silmarillion and Unfinished Tales. I didn't really get into the fandom because I was sort of "outgrowing" fandom culture at this time, but even though it's been a while, I still really like Tolkien. 9/10

The Aztec Empire: Did a report on the Aztec Empire in high school and was really interested it for a while, especially Aztec mythology and sacrificial rituals. 7/10 because I feel like the sacrifice stuff held my attention a lot more than it should have, and I feel like I absorbed a lot of misinformation about it

Medieval Europe: I have an on-and-off Medieval European history phase that comes and goes. Mainly, I'm interested in literature; I read Beowulf and the Canterbury Tales for fun in high school, and I was unfortunately very obnoxious about that. I did study Medieval history and Arthurian legends in college though, so that was neat. 7/10 because saying you're interested in Medieval history sometimes has to come with a disclaimer

Sweeney Todd: My favorite musical, and a big hyperfixation for a while. My best friend played Judge Turpin in high school, and we were both really into "Sweeney" to the point of permanently adopting lines from it into our regular conversations, even today. We even went to see it on Broadway together, which was awesome. 9/10, with one point off because I hate explaining to people why the Tim Burton version Sucks

Classical Music History: Specifically Shostakovich. I like a lot of other composers too, but this was a BIG phase. We're talking three years of research, writing long essays, Russian language and Soviet history classes, working for a Shostakovich journal, learning music, etc. I wasn't even doing this for a career; I just really, really liked Shostakovich a lot in college. I started getting into classical music in high school, but college was when I stopped being an idiot about it. 9/10, with a point taken off because I used to be an idiot about it

Sea Shanties: This falls into my wider love of folk music, but shanties and sea songs got me through college and working a minimum-wage job during the pandemic. 9/10; very fun to sing while in the car with friends

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari: Currently hyperfixated on classic films, but this one in general. You've seen my blog. 8/10, because it's a great movie with a lot to hyperfixate on, but points off because it's so hard to want to discuss this with people in public.

Tom Waits: Another current one. I listen to at least two full albums every day, usually "The Black Rider" (which could have its own spot on this list). Meeting a fellow Tom Waits fan in public is the best feeling ever, but telling someone that you like Tom Waits to someone who doesn't know who Tom Waits is sometimes means weird results. Like, someone asked me once if he was a new indie musician. I just want to know what they thought his music was like. 10/10 hyperfixation. no notes

Honorable mentions for smaller hyperfixations I've had over the years, in no particular chronological order:

Gila Monsters (9/10)

Klaus Nomi (9/10)

Hamilton (3/10)

Victorian literature (7/10)

Current events (0/10)

Japan's Torii Gate (5/10. I just thought it looked really cool when I was a kid)

Deaths on Mt. Everest (8/10)

The Oceangate disaster (3/10)

Parakeets (7/10)

House of Leaves (10/10)

Encanto (7.5/10)

My best friend (9/10. Great friend but unfortunately I misidentified it as a crush for many years)

My first ex (0/10)

W.I.T.C.H. (4/10)

This thing:

(Its name is Mathra and it's from an educational kids' game called ClueFinders. I pretended it was my friend when I was little and I drew it all the time, then got embarrassed when people asked what I was drawing)

Lord of the Flies (7/10)

Finding Nemo (6/10)

The Russian language (7/10)

Edgar Allan Poe (8/10)

Ivan Ivanovich Sollertinsky (8.5/10)

Nikolai Gogol (8/10)

In conclusion. it's weird to me that I think my most niche and bizarre hyperfixations were from when I was a really little kid lol

[delusinaldreamer19]

✨Intro post✨

Hello! Welcome to my blog. Here’s a little about me,

General stuff:

Cis fem irl, but online I prefer they/them because I don’t really want to attach a gender to myself & would like to be viewed more neutrally. But don’t be surprised if I say things like “I’m just a girl!”

I’m an adult, but still on the younger side. The same as pronouns, I don’t really want to attach much of an identity to myself when it comes to age. I don’t want for something I make to be ignored or judged just solely by the age I was/am when creating it. Not that that would necessarily happen, but in my little anxious head it would.

I sadly don’t have a fun quirky name for you to call me 😭. I’m incredibly tempted to say “just call me delusional!” because I think that’s hilarious. But I have a smidge 🤏to much self respect to do that lol.

About me:

I have ADHD, the not-fun, shitty, neurodivergent kind that makes everything hard.

I suck at spelling. Auto correct is my biggest opp.

I'm an equestrian 🐴

I am a maladaptive daydreamer. Meaning that I have extensive, sometimes (more often then not) compulsive, daydreams that are very vivid and can last for hours on end. That’s what my user name is referring to.

I've been so aggressively hyperfixated on Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji for the past 6 years it's not even funny.

That seems like a good place to transition onto the next segment…

What's on my blog?

A lot of my daydreams revolve around black butler, whether it's the characters interacting or story lines I've come up with. And I've discovered that writing them out helps me from becoming so enwrapped in them, sort of like getting it out of my system. CASE AND POINT I have a few fanfictions :)

Fanfic masterlist

Other then that,

I sometimes have funny thoughts

I sometimes like to make long analytical rants about things in black butler

Fanfic Recs

and yeah I think that's it 🤗

Things of note:

There may be some suggestive comments or jokes on my blog, but I don’t post smut. Same goes for fanfics. (That may be subject to change some day)

⚠️I do not ship Sebaciel ⚠️ I don’t like it, but I can’t stop you from liking or commenting or following (Oh yeah I look through all y’all’s blogs to see if u got Sebaciel on there), just don’t bring it into anything I post. ie, no tagging as Sebaciel or commenting sum in favor of it. BUT MOST OF ALL, if you ship sebaciel pls DNI with any of my fanfics. The thought of anything I write bring perceived through the lens of that ship makes me extremely uncomfortable. That is a boundary of mine, please respect it.

Also, please do not send me hate. Not because I’m a little bitch and can’t take it, but b/c I have weird paranoia and the one time I got sent anon hate from sebaciel shippers I convinced myself that these random ppl on the internet were going to find where I live and 🔫me 😃. So yeah, please don’t do that.

I occasionally make little vent/complaining post about random things. Feel free to disregard them. I often just need to get it out of my system and don’t have many outlets. And lord knows my mental health is in shambles. But they don’t include triggering topics, and if they do I’ll add warnings.

Shit this post is long asf my bad

[missmaywemeetagain]

I need to tell someone this, get it off my chest, and I don’t think my irl friends will understand. So I’m trusting you.

I have never felt more in love in my life. I haven’t fangirled this hard in 6 years, probably never this hard in my life. I’m so in love with this man. I just watched the Elvis movie and of course I thought I was going to have a *little* Austin Butler phase, but to my surprise I barely even touched Austin, to my surprise I’ve fallen down the Elvis Presley rabbit hole, harder than ive ever fallen before. I didn’t know anything about him before that movie and here I am listening to all his music and slowly going thru his movies and TV appearances. I barely say “i love you” out loud but I’ve been saying it over and over when I listen to his singing and when I watch him on the screen.

I feel insane. I’ve been contemplating breaking up with my boyfriend because I feel so in love with this man who, even if he was still alive, i would never be with. I’ve been contemplating convincing myself heaven is real just to know I’ll meet him one day. Very intense. This “confession” is all light hearted, but I am honestly wondering if I’m the only one... I’m going crazy right?!

(I feel very embarrassed to be telling anyone this, so if you think I’m crazy pls be nice😭 but I felt like I had to tell someone)

Oh, Nonnie honey, Nonnie BABY, I think that SO MANY of us here can relate to what you are saying!

First, thank you for sharing this with me! I so very much connect with what you are saying here on a number of levels.

Listen, my life has been a series of hyperfixations and fandoms and there is a very good reason I call myself a “lifelong fangirl.” I’ve made shows/music/musicals/ people my entire personality for certain moments in time for as long as I can remember. Now I’m writing A LITERAL NOVEL imagining a romance with a man who’s been dead for nearly half a century. And I LOVE it. It can be intense and irl people sometimes (often) think I’m nuts but it’s part of my DNA to be this way and I am cool with that!

All this to say that with Elvis Presley, things are a little bit different. This is my second go-around with him and it is definitely more intense in a lot of ways than other fandoms I’ve been in, especially this time around, I think because of the Elvis community on social media has exploded since the movie and there is more info so readily available about him now than ever before. Maybe it’s because the world and life have been a complete clusterfuck for the last few years and it’s just nice to settle into something that makes us feel GOOD and connects us to people. Elvis is perhaps one of the first and strongest parasocial relationships in the world, and research has shown that parasocial relationships in general are on the rise because of what’s been going on in the world. So there’s THAT, too!

But let’s be real—Elvis is unlike anyone or anything before or after him. I am not entirely kidding when I say I’m convinced he has some preternatural/supernatural/ethereal/not-of-this-world quality to him that is simply unexplainable. Like how does a man who has been DEAD 45 YEARS STILL MANAGE TO GAIN/KEEP DIEHARD FANS all this time later? How does he have nearly as many people visit his home as they do the White House? How is he still one of the most prolific recording artists of all time? His fans have been equated to a religion. That is POWERFUL SHIT. It’s as if he was a star than burned so intensely, so brightly, that made such an impact, that the world couldn’t sustain him for a lifetime.

Yet he was a very real and complex human person that did some extraordinary things and had extraordinary gifts and talents. He was good and bad and everything in between and honestly I find him endlessly fascinating and beautiful and tragic. And good god, he was so incredibly gorgeous in such an otherworldly way. Ugh. He literally changed society with his beauty and music. That’s crazy in itself!

I am not a super spiritual person, and fairly skeptical, and yet I too find myself wondering and exploring and experiencing things I never would’ve CONSIDERED before because of him. It’s strange and eerie and blows my mind on the regular, tbh. Somehow, he came around in my life again at EXACTLY the right time and my world is very different/better than it was 6 months ago partially due to his presence.

I, too, have moments of feeling completely insane at how invested I am emotionally in this man I will never meet and how utterly, impossibly strange it feels to hold such love for a person who has been gone longer than I’ve been alive. I am lucky that my partner puts up with me and it and is understanding enough to be like, “this is weird but okay.”

He’s addictive in every possible way. I don’t know how else to describe it. I guess I’ve channeled all these intense and crazy feelings into Pink Scarf and somehow that makes me feel better because I’m creating something from this madness. It inspires me and makes me reach for my own dreams. And I’ve met this incredible community on top of it all.

So, Nonnie, you are very much NOT alone. I can’t say that it’s not crazy because it is a bit but in the best way possible and we’re right there with you!!💗💗💗

But also, take breaks. Don’t break up with your boyfriend (unless it’s truly not working for you in other ways). See and talk to people irl who have nothing to do with E. Read books or watch media unrelated to him. These are things I actively have to do make myself do to stay sane. It’s okay cuz E will always be around when you come back, and so will we!!

I hope this helps. Lovin’ you, Nonnie! 💗💗

[kotaka-kun]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

saw @middleearthpixie doing this and I wanted to do it too :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

249 works

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

380,279 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Most recently I’ve been writing for Phantom of the Opera and Love Never Dies, but according to my AO3 dashboard, I’ve posted fics for just under 40 fandoms and naming them all seems excessive... That being said, my top five are Lord of the Rings, Phantom, MCU (mostly Captain America), Avatar: The Last Airbender, and Harry Potter. 

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. thank you for the food (ATLA, zukka, Fluff, Domestic Bliss, Modern AU) 2. Simple Happiness (ATLA, zukka, Fluff, Living Together, Modern AU) 3. Bucky has a belly kink, but Steve doesn’t mind in the least (MCU, stucky, ABO, Belly Kink, Pregnancy Kink) 4. Surprise (MCU, stucky, ABO, mpreg, Birth, Twins) 5. New Colors (One Piece, zosan, Fluff, Color Blindness, Gifts)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do try, though I know I’ve missed a few over the years... but I do love and treasure every single comment I get!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I’d have to say that it’s probably a tie between The Worst Thing (MCU, Steve/Bucky, omegaverse, infertility, miscarriage) and overboard (LOTR, Frodo/Sam, trauma, depression, suicide attempt)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

Hard to say, since aside from the two mentioned above, I write mostly fluffy happy endings... 

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

Thankfully, no. But maybe that just means I need to write more divisive fics? 

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do write smut, and it’s probably mostly -- if not all -- omegaverse tbh... 

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I love love love writing crossovers! I think they’re fun and silly and a good time all around. Don’t know if I have one that’s significantly crazier than the rest, but I think i read the hobbit (in 1937 when it first came out) is one of my favorites to think about. I’ve got a soft spot for ws!Bucky is all. Putting him in Middle Earth and adding him to the Fellowship was just for funsies :)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of...

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! A reader translated New Colors into Chinese, which was super neat!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Absolutely, 100% -- in the sense of collaboratively plotting out and writing a story, as well as taking turns in an improvised narrative style RP, and also something in between where the premise of a fic was agreed upon and each of us had characters to write, RP style. 

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I don’t think I can pick a singular ship to label as my favorite... I’d call Zoro/Sanji my OTP, but only because they were the first ship I got involved in fandom for -- I haven’t read a fic of them in years. I’m reading almost exclusively Erik/Christine fics right now, but I’ve come across Erik/Raoul fics that have made me fall in love with them, as well as Erik/Raoul/Christine fics that are so so good... I guess in terms of longevity and my ability to always come back to them, Steve/Bucky has been a solid ship for me? 

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Gonna go with Zoro’s Promise, since it’s the only multichapter fic I never bothered to move from FF dot net to AO3. It’s literally been ten years since I updated it lmao

16. What are your writing strengths?

On one hand, I guess my ADHD-fueled hyperfixation that allows me to write fic after fic could be considered a strength...?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

On the other hand, as soon as my ADHD-fueled hyperfixation loses its vice grip on me, I lose all motivation to write. Especially if I’ve already written out the scenes that I had in my head, I become incapable of filling in the gaps and making it a cohesive fic... I honestly don’t think I have very good writing hygiene even after taking classes on being better about being a hobby writer oops 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I personally tend to avoid writing in another language, because I think it’s hard to do well. Sometimes it takes you out of the fic because you have to copy-paste it into Google Translate to figure out what they’re saying, sometimes it takes you out of the fic because you speak the language and the author evidently doesn’t and they used Google Translate. 

19. First fandom you wrote for?

First fandom I wrote fic for and then posted would be One Piece... but in actuality, I’ve been writing fanfiction from long before I knew that’s what it was called. I was probably in second or third grade when I wrote self-insert Peter Pan fics. Also Shrek fics. I don’t have the notebooks I wrote them in anymore, but I have a very vivid memory of writing them.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

This is maybe the hardest question of all to answer, because while I like a lot of my fics, I don’t know that there’s one that I could call my favorite. My current WIP stranger than you dreamt it (PotO, Erik/Christine, ABO) is one I’m excited to keep working on because, well, omegaverse. But also time and time again (LOTR, Frodo/Sam, Time Travel, Fix-it) was one of the first multi chapter fics I’ve actually finished, so in that regard I’m rather proud of it. I liked the time-travel-y premise of it as well. And even though what comes after (HP, Snape/Harry, Time Travel, Fix-it) is still technically a WIP, I’m still pleased with how it’s coming along... though it’s been a hot minute since I’ve updated it oops

tagging... you! 🫵 if you're an author, i'm tagging u! i want to know about what you write!!!

[w1tchcr4ftt]

Pre-show thoughts

Tomorrow is my big live show for drama so Im gonna go on about random stuff im thinking abt right before so I can get it all out

Bg info-

Show: The Little Mermaid (Jr.)

Character: Jetsam (Ursula's eel)

This is my first time being on stage since like third grade im so nervous but also excited

theres literally no room on the wings of the theater so its so hard to find a place to stand

Flotsam and Jetsam have such silly costumes its a frilly arm puppet and we wear turtlenecks and mohawks

Killing scuttle asap I hate human stuff its been stuck in my head for 9 months

If backstage dont start singing im gonna fo insane they need to sing louder

we get to show the younger grades our show tmr before the big family show so yippee

I love singing in Jetsams voice its so fun

Im going to have the strongest right shoulder ever cus i have to move it up and down for my puppet

All my friends are coming to my show

why are the platforms 6 feet up thats scary

I HAVE TO JUMP OFF THE 4 FOOT PLATFORM BREAKING BOTH MY ANKLES TMR

I hate the stupid mics so much why do we have to tape them on I hate it

its so hot in the theater im wearing a turtleneck

we get bagels tmr morning yay

If i mess up on the bows im jumping off the 6ft platform head first

If i get a hyperfixation on The little mermaid of all things im gonna scream

this is some kids last year and thats so crazy to me like- waht do you mean thats gonna be me next year what????

Im so excited to be on stage theres just something about it that makes me happy

Its crazy how much i love the stage even tho im fairly introverted 90% of the time its just different there

Im so excited for tmr this is so fun woohoo

Okay thoughrs over this was much longer than I thought time to go sleep for tmr buh bye

[frootyloopy]

So Good Omens 2 may be my new hyperfixation! Maybe. I wrote a lil oneshot for after episode 6! SPOILERS FOR GOOD OMENS 2!!

Trigger warnings: suicidal ideation

Ao3 Link

It's getting colder. They're shaking from the cold, rather than fear. He tries, he really does. He tries so hard to keep up with the schedule, but they're growing yellow and riddled with holes. He doesn't have the energy to yell. He doesn't have the energy to burn them or destroy them. He can barely water them, he can't even clean his watering can. He's left his spray bottle somewhere, and he can't bother to look for it. (It's exactly where he left it, dropped on the floor when he escaped from Hastur and locked him in his answering machine with Aziraphale's message.) He pinches the bridge of his nose, dropping his watering can to the floor. He doesn't want to think about him. That's all he ever does, is think about him. About the 6000 years of memories they have, of the last memory they have together. He can't even cherish it, it makes his skin burn and smoke billow out from under his feet. It'd be easier if he was dragged to hell, at least he wouldn't have so many memories of him.

He stares at his dying plants, in his empty apartment. He used to find it a small sanctuary for himself and his thoughts. He can't get the smell of holy water burned skin out of the floor, and he can't even step there anymore due to fear. Holy water doesn't exactly follow the water cycle properly, and he'd be nervous if it did. He walks over to one of his favorites, it's been so good for him. It's trying to hold on, but it's rotting at the stem and the leaves are all sickly yellow. Still no leaf holes. He strokes a leaf with a kindness he hates acknowledging, a kindness he reserved for Aziraphale, and for the silly little humans he finds himself always attracting like flies.

"You're just like the Bentley. She doesn't even want to run and all she ever plays is the same damn song." He mutters.

"Do you want to live?" He asks, genuinely wondering if any of them *want* to live anymore. It weakly shudders against his hand.

"Neither do I."

[medusapelagia]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I wanted to do this so badly that I cheated and copied it from @just-my-latest-hyperfixation... sorry 😝!

How many works do you have on AO3?

100 Today!!! Even if I have more stories here on Tumblr that I will post on Ao3 sooner or later.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

728.469

3. What fandoms do you write for?

mainly Stranger Things but I posted a couple of The Witcher fics (one is my anon!) and I'm working on a couple of WIPs

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

28 AU-gust: Royalty  Never Again  I'm so good at telling lies (That came from my mother's side)  Ghost  My lucky charm  (All Steddie)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, always! Even if sometimes I'm a little embarrassed because I feel that "Thank you" is not enough to express what I feel every time I receive a comment.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Sorrow, a very sad little Harringrove with character death.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is hard... but at the moment the one that holds my heart is I'm so good at telling lies and no, the last chapter hasn't been posted yet!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I'm looking forward to the moment someone will actually write something awful about my stories, but for the moment I was lucky enough to have only mildly bad comments.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do but I try to keep it sweet and, apart from some PWPs, it usually takes a lot for my character to get to the smut part: they have to earn it!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I wrote a crossover between The Crow and Stranger Things (It can't rain all the time) and some crossover for a Metalsandwhich event. The crazy one I wrote is a crossover between Jurassic Park and Kinktober for the Metalsandwich Movie Marathon, but it was so fun! 😂

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I started writing in Italian and translated two of my fics into English (one of them being one of the longest fics I wrote). Never again: it takes forever and it's super boring because I already know the story😅

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Ages ago, when I used to write in Italian on another platform I did. It was a LOTR fic Aragorn/Legolas and it was a wonderful experience but I don't think I would be able to do the same in English.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

in this moment Steddie, but I'm a big fan of Harringrove and Metalsandwich too.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I'll finish all of them because for me it's a pac.t between me and my readers: they give me their trust and I don't want to disappoint them.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm a very fast writer and I try to do my best to be better every time I start a new story

17.What are your writing weaknesses?

I always have to fight a bit with the smut scenes because it's a subtle equilibrium between being too clinical and letting the characters enjoy themselves.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I did it and I can do it easily because I speak four languages but in reality, I used it only one time: if the story needs it it's ok but sometimes it sounds farfetched

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The first fic I wrote ages ago was for City Hunter (a Japanese manga), after that, I wrote for Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. Now, after almost 15 years, I'm back thanks to Steddie!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Honestly? Always the next one I'm working on.

My no pressure tags are @dragonflylady77 , @destroya-hargrove, @kallisto-k , @spaceofentropy , @lorifragolina , @rindecisions

[between-thepages]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @gabetheunknown, thank you <3

how many works do you have on ao3?

Currently 88, I am determined to make it to 100 before the end of the year.

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

29,604

3. what fandoms do you write for?

The Witcher Books/Games, Silmarillion, Lord of the Rings and sometimes Endeavour/Inspector Morse when the fancy strikes.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In the Morning (Glorestor)

Dance to the Firelight (Rorveth)

Eating Love (Rorveth)

Mirror Image (Rorveth)

Body and Soul (Yenralt)

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

I respond to them, I love comments, but I'm slow. Also, there are only so many variations of "Thank you" one can type in a day before it starts feeling ridiculous. I promise I'll get to your comments before Christmas!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

my Iorveth/Cedric drabble from last spring. I had to cope with the Ending of Lady of the Lake.

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Beautiful like Starlight, but even that isn't really all that happy... I am writing a followup to it at the moment though.

8. do you get hate on any fics?

So far, only from a certain someone for shipping the wrong characters, but i usually have my comments restricted to logged-in users, so leaving Anon hate isn't really possible.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

I will write everything once and then decide if I'll do it again xD Expect it to be at least somewhat kinky.

Also, it has to fit into a drabble or two, I can't really write long-form smut.

10.do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

I haven't yet, I will write a Witcher/Silm crossover one day, just so I can get some of the ladies to meet

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't know, but I doubt my drabbles are interesting enough to steal.

12.have you ever had a fic translated?

Not officially, but I am trying to translate some of my fics myself. No idea when I'll be done there, though.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

No

14.what's your all time favorite ship?

As a multi-shipper, all time favourites are hard, because all i need are three compelling arguments and I start shipping another pairing xD

I guess Fingon/Maedhros is one of the pairings where I am least likely to read a fic if they are partnered with someone else.

15.what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I'll burn with a light of my own, because I started it for a flashfic challenge right before my silm hyperfixation hit full force, so Witcher is a bit on the back burner at the moment. It also needs some serious plot outline to develop further, so the continuation really depends on my interest the next few months.

16.what are your writing strengths?

I have been told I am good at writing short stories, which is great because I love writing drabbles.

17.what are your writing weaknesses?

long plots, probably. I always struggle with reaching wordcounts and making my stories interesting.

18.thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Depends on the language and usage. I love things like terms of endearment in another language (I made up a nickname for Isengrim to use for Iorevth, after all), but I do sometimes get annoyed with the random elvish words in Tolkien fics.

The best use of other languages is if it is used to confuse the POV character, but then it has to be somewhat consistent.

19.first fandom you wrote for?

Sunrise Avenue xD But I never published any of it. The first fanfic I published was for Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion.

20. favorite fic you've written?

She came in through the window because it got me into a new kind of rarepair hell <3

Tagging @she-who-drank-vodka-with-cats, @aretuzagradschooldropout and @gleamingsilence, I'm late to this so I really hope I haven't accidentally tagged someone who already did this <3