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#the lighting is all awkward and wrong!!!!!!
gghostwriter · 2 days
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i saw you opened your fluff requests so how about this: reid recieves an invitation to a high-school reunion back in Vegas but he doesn't want to go because of his bad childhood. but his best friend (who is completely in love with him) convinces him to go, and offers to be his fake girlfriend to hype him up and make him feel more comfortable. he agrees and ends up confessing his love on the same football field he was bullied on
please feel no pressure to write this, it's just an idea i thought was cute
Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader Trope: Friends to lovers; Fluff with a mix of pining wc: 2.1k A/N: Reader is not part of the BAU, but she just still work for the FBI. By far, this is my longest request written (it's a chapter length) and I don't know how it became so long but I hope you enjoy it still! Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated 💗 Main masterlist
Rewriting History. // Spencer Reid
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It was the heavy scent of books and wood that welcomed you home. Street lights reflecting off the emerald green walls, bathing the apartment space a warm golden hue. There was peace and stillness, your roommate of two years, Spencer Reid, nowhere to be seen—a usual occurrence that came with his and your job too, being FBI agents under the BAU and CACU, respectively.
You sluggishly made your way to your bedroom, adjacent Spencer’s closed door. Flipping open the switch, your worn body collapsed on the plush vanity chair as thoughts about the darkness of your job slip away and get replaced with melancholy on your connection with the boy genius. It was a relationship nurtured by grueling times in the academy—a connection forged out of convenience at first before becoming this convoluted and intimate bond all because you ended up falling for him.
It wasn’t a conscious choice and Spencer didn’t make it any easier. He was a closed off castle complete with a moat and a secret password—painfully shy and awkward in nature. If it wasn’t for required partnership in physical classes, you doubted you’d get as close as you were now.
A beep brought you out of your musings.
And as if he knew you were thinking of him, it was a text message from Spencer informing you of his return home in a few minutes. 
With a sigh, you pushed yourself out of the chair and changed into a set of clothes—a faded Caltech tee, that you never returned, and a pair of black leggings
Padding across to the kitchen, you opened the refrigerator and silently thanked your past self for prepping dinner for two in advance. With how irregular both your schedules were and Spencer’s apparent lack of skill in cooking, it fell upon your shoulders to make sure he isn’t living off of cold pizzas and Chinese takeouts. 
As the second plate of food was heating up in the microwave, the chiming of keys softly echoed from outside the mahogany door.
“Hey Spencer,” you called out from the kitchen counter.
A series of rustles and a soft hey answered back.
You tilted your head to the side in contemplation, something was wrong and as he turned the corner, shoulders curving in on itself and brows furrowed, something must definitely be wrong. 
“Tough case?” You asked, bringing both plates to the rounded dinner table.
“Yeah—” Spencer shook his head. “Actually no, not really but I got an email from Las Vegas.”
Your spoonful of soup hung midair, immediately concerned with the email contents. “Is it your mom? Is she okay?’ 
Having visited Diana in numerous occasions with and without Spencer, you’ve learned to love that woman fiercely too. She was a breath of fresh air—blunt during her lucid days and smart during her academic lectures. 
“It’s from my high school, an invitation for the reunion.”
Ah. “And you’re not sure if you want to go?” 
He shrugged, chewing his slice of chicken before answering. “There’s really no one I want to reconnect with, you know. No happy memories really.” 
“That’s true,” you nodded along. 
During the first few nights moving in the apartment, Spencer had shared the lows he had to go through just to get to where he was now at such a young age—endlessly mocked for being a geek, no friend group or single confidant to watch his back, and the utter humiliation of being tied naked on a football post. You had an inkling that the genius had gone through bullying, it was a sad norm in all schools, especially in public, but hearing it first hand had brought home just how much of his closed off and shy personality was a product of his trials.
You tapped your fingers on the table. “I think you should go.” 
“What?” 
“Yeah, yeah. To show all those mean bullies where you are now,” your back straightening from the idea. “They’ll talk about you in passing anyway, whether you’re there or not so might as well be there to show them up and defend yourself plus—” you paused, taking a sip of water before barreling through. “—you’ve become quite handsome since then. Don’t you think?”
His hazel eyes widened in surprise, further adding to his appeal. Spencer was so innocent that he didn’t know the effect he had on women—first evidence was yourself and the second was Lila Archer. “Y-you think I’ve become handsome?”
With warmth spreading on your cheeks, you nodded. “You’ve always been handsome to me.”
Spencer started coughing, hand beating on his chest as the food threatened to go down the wrong tube.
Alarmed, you quickly stood up and started patting his back for assistance. How embarrassing was this—the first time you blatantly flirted with the man you formed intense attraction for ends up with him almost choking. Was this a sign maybe to not push your luck? You’ve done just about anything to nudge Spencer’s mind in acknowledging your feelings, from remembering all his little quirks (all were just so cute), actively listening to his tangents (all very informative and interesting), and even sometimes delivering a box of donuts to his team (all in the name of seeing his face brighten up) but none seemed to have worked. So, you opted to tell him in words and look what that did to him.
You gnawed on your lower lip. Maybe it was best to pull back, maybe it was best to throw in—
He cleared his throat before his hand reached yours situated on his shoulder. There was a slight tremor before it closed around your all of a sudden clammy palm. “I’ll go if you go with me.”
Filter off your brain. “As a fake girlfriend type of thing?”
You shut your eyes closed, promising to yourself to stop reading those unrealistic romance novels that Penelope lends you.
“If—if you want,” his voice shaky and soft as rustles could be heard in the background.
Opening your eyes, Spencer was now fully facing you. Eyes roaming your face and body—profiling you.
A small smile graced your lips. “Okay.”
———
The second thing your brain thought of was how oddly fitting that the reunion was held at the school gym, located beside the football field. The first thought being how Spencer looked devastatingly handsome in his suit and tie.
His attire wasn’t that different from his usual in the FBI but there was a hidden meaning behind his choices. The patterned brown blazer was a gift you had given to him for his first anniversary working at the FBI and his tie matched the color of your dress. 
It made you feel warm even though a shiver went down your spine as a sudden gust of wind passed by. 
Spencer slid closer towards you. “Do you want my coat?”
“I’m alright, thanks for asking Spence,” you looked up, smiling in reassurance. The fairy lights hung in rows emphasized how structured his face was. A high nose bridge, similar to his mother’s, and high cheekbones that made your fingers twitch in want to caress. He was stunning to look at—a view you feared you’d never get enough of.
“Spencer Reid!” A booming male voice shouted from across the gymnasium causing a few heads to swivel. Based on the other attendees reactions—giving them ample space as they passed and the stares tracking their every move, you knew who he was right away. A former bully.
“How are you?” he reached out his hand for a handshake. One that Spencer stared at before bringing his hand up to a wave, lips in a tight lipped smile.
“Hey Paul, nice to see you.”
“Is it?” He chuckled before turning his eyes on you. “I don’t believe we’ve met.”
You stated out your name, tone very similar when you’re on the field—cold and professional.
“Look at you, Spencer, having such a pretty girlfriend. Heard you work for the FBI now, is that how you two met?” 
A saccharine smile spread across your lips. Your boy genius had been stiff ever since Paul called out his name. Having have heard how Spencer once reacted to a case where the unsub was a high school victim, you knew where his mind was at the moment. Grappling with the hurt from the past and trying his best not to lash out from the scars it had left behind. “Yeah, we met at the Academy and just clicked. He was such a gentleman that I couldn’t say no when he asked me out for a date.”
“That’s good to hear. Listen, man, is it alright if I talk to you for a second? Alone?”
You brushed the back of your hand with his, bringing his attention to you. There was a slight furrow in between his brows and his stature was taut, like a stretched out bow that needs to release it’s arrow. This was one of the few times, you could tell, that Spencer was unsure what to do. There was no malice behind Paul’s request and although you weren’t a profiler yourself, the slight hunch on the former bully’s shoulder silently communicated his remorse. 
Spencer’s eyes trained on yours and as if he found the answer within the depths of your gaze, he slightly smiled, squeezing your hand in his before turning back and nodding to the interloper. 
“I’ll go get a refill,” you lifted your empty cup to excuse yourself.
In truth, you stood idly near the punch bowl and kept your eyes glued on the male duo. Paul was looking down, shuffling his feet, before taking a deep breath and looking straight at Spencer. He uttered a few words you couldn’t make of and in turn, Spencer’s body relaxed and he nods once. With an offer for a handshake, one that Spencer shook, Paul walked away as you made your way back to your partner’s side.
“Good talk?” you asked.
“He apologized,” Spencer muttered, eyes studying you before grasping your hand back to his. “No refill?”
You shrugged. “Didn’t feel like it anymore. Say Spence—” he titled his head as an answer. “Want to get out of here?”
He chuckled, eyes twinkling with relief. “Thought you’d never ask.”
———
The cicadas were singing their tune as you and Spencer stepped out to the football field. The grass lush in color and the faint smell of wet earth wafted around. Grateful that you opted to wear sensible flats rather than the high heels Penelope was bartering you to wear, you held Spencer’s hand tight as he started recollecting the worst bullying that happened in the same place many years ago.
“That—” he pointed at the goalpost on the far right. “—was where I was left tied up. I remember feeling worried that I would catch hypothermia as the rain kept coming and going that day and I remember feeling sad when I got home and my mother didn’t notice me missing.” 
Your voice caught in your throat.
He continued on. “They say people forget events as they grow older and I wished I had the luxury of that.”
“Because of your eidetic memory,” you sighed. It was a blessing and a curse to have. 
“But I was thinking, maybe I could rewrite it instead?”
There was a thick layer of hope behind his words causing you to turn, fully facing him this time.
“I—I’ve been keeping a secret from you for 24 months and 182 days and I don’t know if this would change our relationship or ruin it but you’re my person, my best friend—” he took a deep breath. “—and I’m in love with you.”
People say there are moments in your life that would upend everything as you know it and tilt everything to an axis, you never understood what they meant by that, up until this moment. The twinkling night stars suddenly appeared brighter, the temperature warmer, and the force that tethered you to Earth was no longer gravity, it was now Spencer Reid.
You smiled, eyesight blurring from tears. His trembling fingers reached out to wipe the droplets making its path down your cheeks.
“I’m in love with you too, Spencer Reid, since the beginning.” 
And as if the world needed more proof, he smiled—his bright, full teeth smile and you felt your heart halt before starting back up again. 
It was proof that he owned the beating organ in your chest and all the emotion that came with it. 
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Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
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tarotofhope · 11 hours
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PAC: ♡゙ First Impressions - (Your FS + You) ♡゙
(Please Read My Pinned post *IMPORTANT NOTE* before selecting a Pile)
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Pick an Image by meditating and selecting the image you feel called to. You can be attracted towards more than 1 image. If you are not able to select maybe this reading isn't for you.
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Pile 1
What would you think of them:
Cards: 7 of Swords clarified by 3 of Swords Rev, Knight of Swords, Justice, 4 of Cups and Queen of Swords.
They might appear very calm and quiet to you. They could be like this by nature or because they've gotten their heart broken earlier, you will know the reason eventually. They might have been very impatient and driven by quick and not so thoughtful decisions before they became calm like a lake. They had to learn the hard way. You might also think that they speak in an unbiased manner and are very fair in their judgement. Although they might appear to you as if they don't speak much and might have a very close circle of 2-3 friends or very few people who are very close to their heart, they speak when it is required and then they speak their heart out. They appear very reserved and aloof to you. They like their solitude and would cut off ties easily with people who don't put as much efforts in a relationship as them. They might also appear very secretive to you but they are also the one to take other people's secrets to their grave. They might have major air sign placements such as Libra, Gemini Aquarius along with some water sign placements such as Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio in their chart.
What would your future spouse think of you :
Cards: The Tower clarified by 10 of Cups Rev, 8 of Swords, Empress, Judgement and Ace of Pentacles.
Their first impression of you would be that you are a f**king empress and you're just unaware of this fact. You appear to them as if you think so little of yourself, it could be so because you're very grounded and down to earth, you might find it hard to take compliments, for example: Maybe you look so gorgeous/handsome(generally) but when someone compliments you on your looks, you find it hard to believe. They do think that you look very beautiful. You become a shying mess or it becomes very awkward for you. Just like them(but yet differently), you had your own hardships, it is something related to family, now see, there could be 2 scenarios here, for a few of you, you could be facing major problems in relationship with your parents/guardian, siblings or you had to cut ties with them and for a few you, there could be a major breakup or divorce before meeting this person. Your future spouse thinks that you have a lot of potential to grow and become successful, they believe in you. They also think that you have a good judgement of right and wrong, good and bad people. They might also think that you could already be taken. You could've joined a new job or started a new business when you meet them. You could have major Libra/Taurus placements, Virgo and Capricorn, a little bit of Scorpio as well because Judgement card is ruled by pluto.
Extra Message: You guys could meet during travelling. It could be anything, while travelling within your own country or foreign travel.
That's all I got for you, my dear Pile 1. Love, light, peace and hope to you..🌸🍁🌻🌼
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Pile 2
What would you think of them:
Cards: Knight of Wands, 9 of Wands, The Star, The Hierophant and the Page of Pentacles.
You would get the impression that they travel a lot or more so, you have seen them travelling a lot with your own two eyes. I'm getting that you meeting them could be mostly work related. You've seen them working a lot, handling a huge pile of work by themselves, working under so much pressure yet so efficiently and with so much determination. You know that they have come so far in their career. They could be someone who started very young yet very popular/successful in whatever job they're doing. I'm getting someone senior to you mostly your superior/boss but someone who's young. They could be handling a family business or it could've been their own startup business/organisation. You draw so much inspiration from this person. This person is very helpful too, they know how to handle a team and they'll help you grow in your workplace if you work under them. They give very good career advice and they can very well figure out who's got the potential to become successful. I'm getting major Aquarius, Taurus, Capricorn, Leo, Aries zodiac signs here for your future spouse.
What would your future spouse think of you :
Cards: 2 of Wands, 7 of Pentacles Rev. clarified by Wheel of Fortune, The Fool, The Lovers and Temperance rev. clarified by King of Wands.
They could think that even you travel a lot but here with the 2 of wands, they can see in you, a lot of passion for travelling to different places, learning about different cultures and languages. They really admire that. They think that you are very tough and determined and you work hard to achieve your goals. You're not afraid to give in your all for whatever you're ambitious about. They think that you can't be controlled but rather you must be handled carefully. You have your own king/queen kinda vibe to you. You have your fate in your own hands, and nobody can make you do something that you don't want to do. You value your independence and freedom above anything else. They see a lot of potential in you because they see leadership qualities in you. This reminds me of a quote which Phil says in Modern Family, “If life gives you lemonade- make lemons and life will be all like "whaaaaat?”😜 This is what your spouse might think of your personality because you do exactly this to turn your life around.😉 That's the vibe you give. You are the bold and confident one. They think you could be a very good partner to them(both, in work as well as romantically). For zodiac signs, I'm getting Leo, Aries, Sagittarius, Gemini and Aquarius for you and strong 7th house placements.
Extra Message: You both could meet at workplace, office meeting, debates, conferences. I'm getting an office building or tower.
That's all I got for you, my dear Pile 2. Love, light, peace and hope to you..🌸🍁🌻🌼
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Pile 3
What would you think of them :
Cards: The Star, Page of Swords, 9 of Wands, The Hanged Man, Temperance, 5 of Swords clarified by Knight of Cups rev.
You think that they are quite balanced. They are very generous and kind with their money and other resources, very helpful too. They might be someone who's an heir to some ancestral property or their parents' property, they got a will under their name or something. You might think that their family has a good reputation and they are very protective of their family. You might also get to know that they were stuck in some situationship earlier or stuck in a job and they recently got out of it. They do not seem very lovey-dovey nor they seem too cold. They are just at the right level, perfectly balanced, according to you. But they might be someone who argues a lot, throws tantrums, wants to prove their point, likes to debate. Mostly they are very calm and won't talk much but they can't hold back when they're challenged. They might like mind stimulation a lot, puzzles or any game which challenges their mind. They might be of average height and they have a well shaped healthy body. You also think that they are very young at heart. They neither take things too lightly nor even too seriously. Most of the times, they don't show extreme emotions. For zodiac signs, I'm getting Aquarius, Gemini, Virgo, Libra and Pisces for them.
What would your future spouse think of you :
Cards: The Fool, 2 of Swords, The World, Judgement, Ace of Cups and Empress.
They get the first impression that you're freedom loving, you love to go on trips, vacations and adventures, but you might be quite indecisive, you take other people's opinions in both small and big decisions. You have a lot of patience for the world, they think. You might be a good judge of people and they admire that. You might appear very religious or spiritual to them. You have an eye for fine things, you might be into beauty or fine arts. You might be someone who's very connected to their family and roots, someone who values relationships a lot. They think you're very pretty/handsome, and you'd make for a perfect partner. They think that you're also someone who waits for the right people to enter their life rather than opening up their heart to anyone. You appear very loyal and trustworthy to them. For zodiac signs, I'm getting, Libra, Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio and Aries for you.
Extra Message: You both could meet at a small family gathering or you both are going to be introduced to each other by a third party or through family friends. It's mostly going to be from the comfort of your homes or atleast a safe, comfortable place. For a few of you, I'm also getting a place where you go to heal yourself, where you attain peace of mind, where you get some valuable advice, it could be through therapy, counselling, hospitals, spiritual or religious places, yoga centres or ashrams.
That's all I got for you, my dear Pile 3. Love, light, peace and hope to you..🌸🍁🌻🌼
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Pile 4
What would you think of them :
Cards: 9 of Wands, Strength, The Fool, 4 of Cups, 6 of Cups and King of Cups.
You might get the impression or you get to know this about them, that they were bullied by people or hurt in the past by friends, maybe when they were very young and because of this they might like to be left alone, they like their peace of mind and solitude so much that they don't want to be bothered by anyone. Though they may appear naive or weak to you, but they have so much inner strength, they've survived on just this strength for so long and they'll continue to do so further. They might like animals a lot. They might also love to go on solo trips, solo camping, solo adventures but here's the sad part, from deep inside within their soul, they crave for that true friendship, maybe they're looking for a true friend in a partner. They never got one, never found one. Maybe romantic/lovey-dovey relationships makes them cringe. They might be very emotionally mature too but they know the price of their maturity. Unlike others, they were given harsh/cold treatments for small mistakes, they could've gone through mental trauma, guilt or anything that challenged their calm demeanor and innocence. Keeping their solitude aside, you'll see that they're someone who's very helpful, in general. They might love to do charity and donations. I can see that the courtship period between you guys could be very challenging for you, especially. Zodiac signs of your future spouse could be Aquarius, Sagittarius, Leo, Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces.
What would your future spouse think of you :
Cards: Knight of Swords, The Devil clarified by 6 of Pentacles, 8 of Swords, Empress, 7 of Wands, Justice.
They think that you are quite the opposite of them. You fight for things that don't seem right to you whether it is for you or others. They really admire this quality about you though. They can see that you're a social butterfly, you like to make friends and hang out. You find it easy to talk to people too. They might also get to know that your actions are being controlled by other people in your life, somebody does not allow you to decide for yourself. There's someone who's told you that you can't do this or you can't do that, you feel mentally trapped with this person or these people. You just want to run away and never come back. Your spouse respects your fighting spirit, and they really would like to help you in this matter. Your future spouse and you could help each other in healing past traumas of friendships and relationships. They kind of feel secure and safe within your presence. They know you wouldn't harm them. Over the years, people have made you believe falsely about yourself but you'll get to know your inner strength when you'll meet your spouse. This relationship is manifesting in reality because you both need healing and together you'll be able to achieve this. You both have a fair sense of equality and justice. You really stand out from the crowd, for your spouse. In the beginning, this connection might look difficult, but once the bond is developed, you both will be unbreakable together. Your zodiac signs could be Libra, Gemini, Sagittarius or Virgo.
Extra Message: You both could meet while on beaches, holidays, vacations, someplace where any kind of drinks are involved such as parties, pubs, bars or clubs. There's going to be a water body surrounding this place wherever you guys meet, such as a pond, lake, river, ocean, fountain, waterfall, etc.
That's all I got for you, my dear Pile 4. Love, light, peace and hope to you..🌸🍁🌻🌼
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Pile 5
What would you think of them :
Cards: Death clarified by 10 of Wands, Page of Swords, Knight of Swords, Queen of Wands, 3 of Pentacles, 6 of Pentacles.
You would keep your guard up when you meet your future spouse because they appear too bold, loud and cheerful to you while you're the opposite of them. You'd think that they're not your type. At first, you might be very skeptical about your connection with them. You think that they are very quick and direct in their approach which might irk you a bit. They are also very straightforward with their words. They don't like to sugarcoat, whatever they feel or think, they would speak. So, if they like you, they'd say that directly to your face. They could be a huge flirt too. They live in the here and now. They might appear very confident and full of pride to you but this first impression of them will slowly fade away because you'll get to know that they can be serious too, they give very good advice, they are very mature, they help people a lot and they are very kind. They are the 'life of the party' kind of person and you might be the one who enjoys being alone in the corner. Eventually afterwards, they might feel like a breath of fresh air to you, like a burden has been lifted off your shoulders, when you actually get to know them. There can be some anger issues here though, some stubbornness in this person. If you see major red flags in the beginning, then you shouldn't get yourself further involved in this connection, but, because we are talking about your future spouse here, this connection is going to develop further but that does not mean you should stay in a relationship even if it gets toxic in the future. Their zodiac signs could be Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, Gemini, Libra, Taurus, Capricorn and Virgo.
What would your future spouse think of you :
Cards: The Hermit, The Hierophant, Page of Pentacles, Knight of Wands, 8 of Wands, 4 of Swords.
They might get the impression that you're very wise and knowledgeable. You appear very calm and serene to them. You might either be very traditional and religious or very unconventional and spiritual, or a contrasting mix of both. They can see that you're someone who's converted their passion into a profession, someone who's earning money from their talents and you've faced a lot of challenges regarding this. Maybe you left a proper job behind which gave you good money and started something which gave you very less money. They might be more rational and you might be someone who goes with your heart but there is mutual respect between you two. They really admire and respect you for whatever you're doing. They do not harshly judge you like others. They think you have a very calm demeanour and you're very patient. There's this innocence to you which reflects on your face and in your speech. You appear emotionally understanding and mature to them. They also think that you're quite hard to impress. Your zodiac signs could be Virgo, Taurus, Cancer, Pisces, Libra and Sagittarius.
Extra Message: You both could meet at a celebratory event, wedding, concerts, festivals, where there's lot of grandeur, lights, music, flowers, where people are dressed in their best. It could be a fine dining restaurant, a museum, art gallery too.
That's all I got for you, my dear Pile 5. Love, light, peace and hope to you..🌸🍁🌻🌼
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Thank you so much for being here. I post PAC readings every Tuesday and Friday. Do love and support by reblogging, liking or following.
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strayrockette · 2 days
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His Eyes on Me: Part Two
Summary: In which Benny's stare chases her away
Masterlist/ Part One
Standing in front of him, my thoughts were a tangled mess, each one jostling for attention as I tried to find the right words. Benny’s presence was overwhelming in the quietest way—his piercing blue eyes fixed on me with an intensity that seemed to pierce right through any shield I’d put up. The unwavering focus of his gaze sent a rush of heat to my cheeks, startling me. He didn’t look away, not even for a second, like he had all the time in the world to just watch me, soaking up every little detail.
I felt small and exposed, and the vulnerability of it all made my heart flutter nervously in my chest. My cheeks burned under the weight of his stare, and I quickly bowed my head, trying to hide the embarrassment creeping across my face. It was unnerving, how calmly he held me in his sights, not a flicker of doubt or hesitation. No guy had ever looked at me like that—like I was worth noticing, worth standing still for.
I rubbed my cheek, feeling the warmth spreading beneath my fingertips, and fidgeted with my fingers, picking at the skin around my nails as if it would distract me from the nervous energy buzzing through me. I stole quick glances at him, my eyes darting away whenever they threatened to linger too long. I wanted to ask him why he was here, why he kept staring, but the words felt heavy and clumsy in my mouth, stuck somewhere between curiosity and fear of hearing the answer. Finally, I managed to look up at him, my gaze wavering under the intensity of his, and I bit my lip nervously, feeling the awkwardness of the moment sink in.
“So, um...” I started, my voice barely above a whisper, shy and unsure. “My friends think you’ve been staring at me, and...” I trailed off, feeling stupid for even bringing it up, but the thought wouldn’t leave my mind. “I don’t know, I’m pretty sure they’re wrong, but...” I took a shaky breath, forcing myself to meet his eyes even though every instinct told me to look away. “Are you?”
There was a brief pause, a flicker of something in Benny’s eyes that I couldn’t quite read. His expression didn’t change much; his lips quirked just slightly, not quite a smile but enough to let me know he was amused. He didn’t seem caught off guard by the question or embarrassed by being called out. If anything, he seemed perfectly at ease, like he’d been waiting for me to ask.
“Yes,” he said simply, his voice steady and sure, leaving no room for doubt. Benny didn’t elaborate, didn’t feel the need to explain himself or justify his actions. It was just a straightforward answer, delivered with a calm confidence that made my breath hitch.
His honesty was jarring, cutting through the fog of my nerves like a bright light in a dark room. I wasn’t used to it—this kind of raw, unfiltered truth that Benny seemed to deliver so effortlessly. For a moment, my brain stuttered, struggling to catch up with the weight of his words. He wasn’t dodging or deflecting; he wasn’t trying to charm his way out of the awkwardness. He was just... honest. Plain and simple.
When the reality of his answer finally sank in, a surge of warmth spread across my cheeks, and I realized with a start that I was smiling—a soft, unguarded smile that I couldn’t hold back, no matter how hard I tried. It felt foreign, like I was allowing myself to be seen in a way I hadn’t before, stripped of all the usual defenses I hid behind. I bit my lip, feeling the full force of his gaze settle on me, and the nervous energy bubbling up inside me finally spilled over in the form of a giggle. It was light and breathless, the kind that escaped without warning, catching me off guard as much as him.
I ducked my head, the blush on my cheeks deepening as I tried to hide the giddy smile that wouldn’t leave my lips. The giggle felt silly and out of place, but I couldn’t help it; there was something so disarmingly simple about the way Benny just admitted it, like it was the easiest thing in the world to tell a girl you’d been staring at her. I glanced up through my lashes, stealing a peek at his reaction, half expecting him to laugh at my flustered response. But Benny just watched me, his eyes softening at the sight of my smile, like it was the very reaction he’d been hoping for.
My giggles were relentless, each one bubbling up as Benny's steady, weighted stare and calm honesty chipped away at the shell where I usually hid the nervous, shy part of myself. My hands flew to my cheeks, trying desperately to contain the growing blush and the uncontrollable laughter escaping my lips. I was unraveling, coming undone in the most unexpected way, and all Benny did was stand there, unwavering, his eyes never once trailing away from me. It was like he saw through every barrier I tried to put up, and I couldn’t do a thing about it.
“Okay,” I nodded to myself, as if I was trying to convince my own fluttering heart to settle down. “Have fun.” The words were rushed, almost like I was dismissing him, but really, I was dismissing myself before I completely lost it. I turned on my heel, my head bent low, and without another word, I bolted back to the diner, the sound of my boots tapping against the pavement barely audible over the pounding of my heart.
I practically dove back into the booth, my cheeks burning as Natalie and Lacey burst into a fit of giggles. Lacey nudged me with a knowing smirk, “You lasted a lot longer than we thought.”
Natalie leaned in, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “I thought you’d bolt the moment you walked up to him,” she snickered, stirring her straw in her empty milkshake.
“And I thought you’d bolt the moment you stepped out of the diner,” Lacey added, shaking her head in mock disbelief. I buried my face in my arms on the table, feeling the heat of embarrassment creeping up my neck.
I mumbled into my sleeves, wishing the world would swallow me whole. I couldn’t believe I had just laughed like an idiot and practically ran away from him.
Benny’s unflinching gaze had shaken something loose in me, and I didn’t know how to deal with it.
“Oh, he’s gettin’ on his bike,” Lacey teased, shoving my shoulder to get me to look. “Think he’s waitin’ for yah to look at him.”
Against my better judgment, I peeked up over the booth and glanced out the window. Benny was perched on his bike, his jacket snug around his broad shoulders, looking every bit as cool and composed as ever. The rumble of the bike vibrated through the glass, and when his eyes found mine, he didn’t break the connection. He just sat there, staring, with a look that was both challenging and inviting. My heart skipped a beat as he finally smiled, a slow, confident curve of his lips, and nodded at me like he was saying he’d see me around.
I flushed, my embarrassment hitting a new peak, and instead of sinking back into my seat like my instincts screamed at me to do, I raised my hand in a small, shy wave—an action that I regretted the instant I did it. Benny’s smirk grew, and he revved his bike, the engine’s growl sending a jolt through me. I watched as he pulled away, his figure disappearing into the night, leaving me breathless and hoping, irrationally, that I’d never see him again.
The next day
“You just… said okay and have fun??” Lacey’s voice was scandalized, her eyes wide with disbelief as we sat curled up on the couch in my living room. “THAT’S IT??? AND YOU RAN AWAY!”
Natalie was sprawled out at the other end of the couch, shaking her head with a laugh threatening to spill from her lips. “We taught you better than that, sweet pea,” she teased, her voice laced with playful disappointment as she tucked her legs underneath her, settling into the cushions.
I groaned, sinking deeper into the couch cushions as if I could somehow disappear from the mortifying memory of what just happened. I grabbed the fluffy throw blanket draped over the back of the couch and threw it over my head, desperately trying to hide from their relentless teasing. “I PANICKED, OKAY? I COULDN’T HELP IT!” I grumbled, my voice muffled under the soft fabric but still dripping with exasperation.
Natalie couldn’t hold back her snicker, nudging Lacey as they exchanged knowing looks over my blanketed form. “You really ran away from the hot biker staring at you like you were the last thing he’d ever see?” Lacey added, her tone half dramatic, half amused.
I peeked out from under the blanket, my cheeks still flushed with embarrassment. “It was intense, alright? I’ve never had anyone just… look at me like that,” I mumbled, hugging the blanket tighter as if it could somehow shield me from the mess I’d made. “I mean, what was I supposed to say? ‘Thanks for staring, wanna grab a milkshake?’”
Lacey burst into laughter, flopping beside me and playfully tugging the blanket down. “Honestly? Yeah, that would’ve been better than ‘okay, have fun.’ You basically told him to buzz off.”
Natalie giggled, shaking her head. “Sweet pea, you’ve got this gorgeous guy wrapped around your finger, and you’re over here running like he’s the plague.”
I pouted, the embarrassment still gnawing at me. “He’s just… different, okay? I wasn’t ready for it. I’ve never had someone just be so honest like that,” I confessed, my fingers fidgeting with the edge of the blanket as I tried to process the whirlwind of emotions Benny had stirred up.
Lacey smirked, nudging me with her elbow. “And you like it. Don’t even try to deny it.”
I grumbled and just as I was about to sink further into the couch and wallow in my embarrassment, I heard a soft clink of dishes and the faint sound of footsteps. My head snapped up, and there was my mother, peeking around the kitchen door frame with a sly grin plastered on her face. She had clearly been eavesdropping, and the mischievous glint in her eyes told me she had heard every word.
“Mija, are you telling me you ran away from a boy?” she teased, her voice sing-songy and full of amusement as she leaned against the door frame, wiping her hands on a kitchen towel. “And not just any boy, but a handsome one? I thought I raised you better!”
I groaned, slumping back into the couch as Lacey and Natalie erupted into a fresh round of giggles. “Oh no,” I muttered, hiding my face in my hands. “Not you too, Ma.”
“Oh yes, me too!” she said, stepping fully into the living room with her towel draped over her shoulder. “I didn’t raise you to run away from something good, especially when it’s staring you right in the face.” She waggled her eyebrows at me, clearly enjoying this far too much. “You should’ve seen the way you were smiling when you came home last night.”
Natalie leaned forward, eyes wide with delight. “See, even your mom knows what’s up! You should’ve gone for it, sweet pea.”
“Exactly,” my mother chimed in, pointing at Natalie as if they were in cahoots. “You need to be bold, mija. Life doesn’t wait, and neither will that boy if you keep running off like that.” She paused, a teasing smirk tugging at her lips. “Is he really that cute, though?”
I peeked up at her, my cheeks burning brighter as I recalled Benny’s piercing blue eyes and that confident smile. “Yes, Ma,” I admitted reluctantly, knowing there was no hiding from her. “He’s…" My face scrunched as I grinned and blushed, "really really cute, so cute.”
My mother clapped her hands together, the sound sharp and full of excitement. “Ay, Dios mío! I want to meet him! You should bring him to dinner—no, better yet, bring him by when your father’s not here. I need to see for myself this boy who’s got you all flustered.”
“Ma!” I squeaked, utterly mortified as I pulled the blanket back over my head.
“Come on, bring him around,” she coaxed, ignoring my protests. “I’ve got some advice for him on how to handle a Rodriguez woman.”
Natalie and Lacey were practically rolling off the couch at this point, their laughter filling the room. “Sweet pea, you’re never living this down,” Natalie wheezed, wiping tears from her eyes. “Your mom’s already planning the wedding.”
“Of course I am,” my mother said, grinning wide. “And you, mija, better be ready to bring that boy over soon. I need to see if he’s worthy of my little girl.”
I peeked out from under the blanket, caught between embarrassment and laughter. My mom had a way of turning even the most nerve-wracking moments into something light and funny, and as much as I hated being the center of attention, I couldn’t help but feel a little warmth spread through me.
I mumbled half-heartedly, “I really don’t want to see him again.”
Lacey snorted, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, right. You’ve been blushing non-stop since you ran away like your life depended on it.”
Natalie giggled, “I’m starting to think her face might actually be stuck that way.”
My mother, never one to miss a chance to join in, chimed in with a playful smirk, “Oh, just wait until she finally grows the guts to have a real conversation with him. If she’s not red now, she will be.”
Their laughter filled the room, light, and teasing, like a gentle balm for my lingering embarrassment. As much as I wanted to hide, the warmth of their voices made everything feel a little less daunting.
Taglist: @prettybubblesintheair, @storiesfromafan, @aleemendoza2425-blog
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daffi-990 · 2 days
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Daffi, beloved 🌼
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love ✨
Ohh thank you for this!
stuck now so long, we just got the start wrong
aka rival firefighters 🚒
This baby is 85k and I adore her so much. If I can encourage anyone to read one of my fics it’s this one. It’s just SO GOOD (yes I’m tooting my own horn).
Summary:
Probational Firefighters Evan “Buck” Buckley and Eddie Diaz meet on a call which ends with them at odds with each other.
As the months roll by, they keep running into each other on the job, much to Eddie’s dismay and Buck’s delight.
Can they put aside their first opinions and misunderstandings and allow the seeds of friendship, and possibly something more, to take root?
LA Lonely
My latest fic which has all the feel good and rom-com vibes. I really adore this one.
Summary:
Buck meets Eddie one night at a bar and sparks fly. Buck feels an instant connection but after Eddie leaves in a rush the next morning, he puts it down to his imagination because he’s only good for one night, no one wants him for keeps.
Cue him running into Eddie almost everywhere he goes, like the universe keeps putting Eddie in his path. And Eddie is kind and never makes their interactions feel awkward and the way he smiles at Buck has something warm fluttering to life inside him.
Is his crush unrequited or is there a chance Eddie feels the same?
remember to remember me
aka the lightning amnesia fic. And my first fic. This one is very special to me and I’m so proud of her and I really wish she got a bit more hype.
Summary:
Buck and Eddie finally get together only for lightning to strike a few days later, leaving Buck with no memories of them ever becoming a couple.
I’ve been sleeping so long in a 20 year dark night (now I’m wide awake)
Now this one is part of a series called Daylight, but can be read as a stand alone. It’s cosy and soft and lovely and yes, I do have plans to continue the series, I’m just waiting for the writing beans to return from war.
Summary:
Buck is tired of the fame, fortune and loneliness of a life that doesn’t even feel like his own, so he packs his bags and runs away, ending up in the small beachside town of Hartlan Shore where he decides to begin his life anew.
turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you
A little angsty fic that came out of nowhere. It has a happy ending like all of my fics do <3
Summary:
To protect his heart, Eddie pulls away from Buck when he starts dating Natalia. When he decides to move to B-shift, Buck finally confronts him and certain feelings finally come to light.
Thanks again Hippo for this ask! ❤️
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ok so what are some of the changes you would want in the upcoming harry potter hbo series. and since your blog is Harry centric so I'll ask how do you want him to be portrayed in the series ? what traits of him do you think the series makers should shine more light on ?
Okay, I have, like, a list of things I didn't like in the movies and could be improved upon by the show. The list I have here isn't just about things the show could improve, but also things I want to see in the show in general. I think most of my opinions are pretty common, though.
(Also I'm not sure how good the show will be, like, I'm somewhat hopeful, but also very cautious with my expectations. We should start getting casting announcements around in a few months, which could help indicate where this show is going)
Regardless, here's my list of top concerns for the upcoming show:
Harry's character
This is the one you questioned specifically and one that could make or break the show for me. I want Harry's sass and anger, I don't want him to be a self-insert for the audience the way he was in the movies. I want his actual character. The sass, anger, and tenacity that is Harry Potter combined with his kindness, compassion, and sometimes clueless awkwardness. Let him be smart, clever, and talented.
Harry in the books is so much more than "just Expeliarmos" and the fact people could think that about Harry is a legitimate crime against his character the movies committed. Truly character assassination that Harry isn't an exceptional wizard with the world's lowest self-esteem and cheeky attitude.
(Also, for the love of god, give him green eyes, please. Contacts exist for a reason and it'll be a good way to differentiate the new actor from Radcliffe)
2. Ron & Hermione's characters
I could probably just put a "make all characters like in the books" category since this is true for a lot of them.
Specifically for the other two members of the Golden Trio, I want Hermione to have her flaws, and Ron to be smart. He is talented and smart and just as skilled as Harry and Hermione. He isn't the dumb comic relief and I'm so mad the movies made him such. And Hermione isn't a perfect Mary Sue who can do no wrong. Let her put Rita in a jar. Let her show how much she actually appreciates Ron and Harry and their approach to problems, different as it is to hers.
3. Voldemort's everything
I didn't like Voldemort's design, I didn't like his characterization, I didn't like how he spoke, how he walked — none of it felt like Voldemort to me.
I want Voldemort to be scary, not some odd caricature of himself. Give me a Voldemort design that looks scary. Give him the red eyes, and make him look actually skeletal. And let him move elegantly, talk softly. He isn't shouting and throwing tantrums, usually, he is very deliberate in what he says and does.
Also, give him his weird sense of humor. In the books, he makes bad puns ("Wormtail is here to lend a hand"), I like my villains a little campy with bad puns but also terrifying.
4. Dumbledore's everything
Well, honestly, I have no complaints about Dumbledore in the first movie, my problems started after he was recast.
I want Dumbledore to speak softly. I need an actor who could say "Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!" and make it work. I want an actor who'd smile like he knows things you don't as his eyes fucking twinkle, but could still look intense and even intimidating for the later seasons. I also want him to look whimsical and dress in the most absurd eye-catching robes you've ever seen.
5. On the matter of robes — wizard fashion
I want wizarding fashion. I want long robes, silly hats, colors, and patterns. I want the costume designers on the show to have fun with it. I want them to go wild.
The wizarding world should look whimsical and campy — that's part of the magic. I want it to look like a foreign world. Even the most purebloods of purebloods (like the Blacks) are more like the Addams Family than any serious drama. They have a sense of campiness and whimsy. Let wizards be weird as shit and show it in their dress and interior design (I mean, the Blacks hang house elf heads and have a troll leg umbrella stand, the Ministry of Magic has paper airplanes flying all around, they're weird).
6. About the more filler-y sections of the books
I want all the silly little plots that were removed from the movies. I think some of the more filer-y things add a lot to the books and to the whimsy of being a student at Hogwarts. I want the trio to sneak out Norbert, I want to see Peeves, the deathday party, all of these things that make Hogwarts truly feel like a magic school.
7. Hogwarts Castle
I love the castle of the movies and that of Hogwarts Legacy. Honestly, I think Hogwarts Legacy did a good job of capturing the feeling of the movies castle while making it its own new unique thing. I think the TV show should do something similar and kinda create a Hogwarts castle amalgamation of all previous iterations that would feel familiar and allow them to still use some of the same merchandise but also be new and unique at the same time.
8. Time period
I think this is a pretty common opinion, but I want the muggle clothes and sets to clearly be set in the 1990s. I want the show to be a period piece. I don't want to see smartphones, or modern fashion, or modern cars — none of that.
9. Age-appropriate casting
I'm not the only one who says this, but as great as Allen Rickman was, he was too old for the role. Part of the tragedy of Snape and the Marauders is how young they actually are. I think it'll just be much more heartbreaking if the actors looked as young as they're supposed to be.
(Including James and Lily in the flashbacks!)
10. Worldbuilding & extra scenes
Since it's a TV show and not a book, which opens up more perspective options, I would like to get, maybe, some extended Pottermore facts into the show. Like, to flash out the world in a way the movies didn't.
Additionally, I wouldn't mind if some extra scenes were added to build up characters we don't get as much of in the books and it could serve the plot. Like, as long as the scenes are added in a way which is like 'they might've happened in the books, we just didn't see them cause Harry wasn't there', that sort of thing without subtracting from anything else and without retconning or contradicting anything. Like, with good writers, this could be really well done, I'm just worried about them adding anything because I don't know how much faith I have in the whole project. But it could be cool if done well.
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itsnathateasy · 3 days
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Armin Week | Day 4 | SFW Prompts | Childhood OR Friends to Lovers
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word count: 836 warnings: none author’s note: i made myself suffer with this one
@armin-week-2024
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
armin is the type of man i can imagine you to be in love with for a million years
like had you known each other as kids, it’s high likely that you’d hang out, you’d always be so impressed by his knowledge and soft demeanour, you can never resist a sweet friend like armin, the cute boy, never causes trouble, is shy and probably needs to man up a bit but he’s so smart that he knows he has to stand up for himself but he often doesn’t see the point to it, knowing how he’s significantly smaller than the boys that pick on him
growing up, armin is slowly transforming into something else. his body has become more muscular with age and the loads of training he’s been through but that’s not half of the change. armin now not only has an opinion, he also expresses it. you’re doomed if you don’t let him speak up, as he has the greatest comebacks. all his years of studying and learning about the world have paid off, now there’s not one person out there to ever go against him. they can try, but those who picked on him and those that think of him as less than them will probably regret speaking against him or disagreeing with him. if they’ve a point to make, armin listens with respect, but if they’re just being obnoxious, armin is quick to point it out and tolerates zero of their bullshit. armin was growing up to not only be a person you loved with all of your heart, but to a person that you admired and respected to the fullest.
all the while, you’ve become an even closer friend, a companion if you will, watching him, growing with him, learning his deepest thoughts and sharing dreams, aspirations and all of the awkward confessions of the growing up process. but it isn’t until much later that you realise you’ve been pining for him for years and years and you didn’t even know.
armin is good with the ladies now too. sure, he’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but once he starts talking them up, he’s so respectful and brainy that no girl has ever denied him, he’s having them smile back and forth, makes them weak in the knees.
armin however, seems to be oblivious to all these changes. he doesn’t know how his shoulders are now broader or that his once tiny palms that you used to hold on to when running through the streets, are now tough and thick, often calloused by working his odm and weapons.
he also seems to be oblivious to his feelings, as well as yours. so when you once sat down for one of your usual late night talks, he confesses that he doesn’t know why he never truly likes other girls. they may be fun and pretty and he’s attracted to them, but he can never think how the rest of the story goes with them, because it simply doesn’t work out in his head.
“maybe there’s something wrong with me too armin because i keep thinking the same. is it normal to never have been in a relationship in our age?”
“i’m sure it’s normal… it might be uncommon though”.
there’s was a silence between you, a familiar one. you dont need to speak to know the other person is there. “you might be the only person i can see myself with” he utters out of nowhere. “we’ve been friends for so long though, it must be why i always brushed it off. it’s difficult to differentiate between the love i have for you and the love i may have for a future partner”. you were left inspecting his face in the dark, your eyebrows furrowed. the warm light coming from the fire in front of you highlighted the colour of his hair and made his eyes more prominent. when did armin become this handsome???
“what are you saying armin? we should be together because you can’t settle with anyone else?” the hurt in your voice was obvious. you kept looking into his eyes, hoping to catch any glimpse of a lie. armin wasn’t one to lie, especially not for such matters, especially not to you.
lifting the hand that he previously rested on his knee, he placed it on yours softly, his touch was almost weightless. “on the contrary. i’m saying i can’t be with anyone because i’m in love with you. frankly, i think i’ve been for a while”. he’s hand now rubbing and gripping at your knee slightly, eyes boring into yours. whatever doubt you had a few seconds prior had completely vanished. “frankly, i think i have been in love with you for a while too” you said as you placed your palm to touch his own, soft smiles appearing on your faces. armin moved his other hand to sweetly poke your cheek, resulting in you squirming backwards, smiling even wider than before. “let’s do it then” he suggested.
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seagullcharmer · 11 months
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me when i want to just go ahead and post my art but it's not finished yet
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mithomite · 4 months
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SICK. "right person, wrong time."
#SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK.#my HANDS are shaking.#what the fuck.#lolaa.txt#sorry 4 freakoutposting . nobody can know about this so i have nowhere else to say it all.#WHO SAYS THAT TO SOMEONE.#RIGHT PERSON WRONG TIME. WHY IS IT WRONG TIME.#WHY AM I RIGHT PERSON.#IM RIGHT PERSON.#WHAT. WHAT#HE TALKED ABOUT ME TO HIS FRIENDS. AND HES SO TOTALLY HONEST#I WAS FULLY LAYING ON HIS CHEST AND HE SAYS 'ok i do have to turn on the ac . ' AND SORT OF HALF LAUGHED SMILED AT ME#HE WAS BLUSHING .#HE KISSED ME.#AND IT WAS MESSY AND AWKWARD AND VERY SIDEWAYS BUT HE KISSED ME#AGAIN AND AGAIN. AND HE KEPT SMILING.#AND HE DIDNT WANT ME TO LEAVE BUT HE DIDNT WANT ME TO BE IN TROUBLE#i was 2 hours late getting home. AUHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHGHIGHSEOIFHSEFOUESHFESJKKMNN#FUCKKK. I HAVE TO SEE HIM TOMORROW. IN A SCHOOL SETTING.#AND I CANT TELL ANY OF MY FRIENDS?????????#only one person knows and i swore her to secrecy because she wanted us to get together really bad.#FUCK but like . we cant. we cant do it right person WRONG TIME#but also can we just go back to being friends. do i really want to forget? it was so comfy.#FUCK.#FUCKKKKKK . AND CAM.#cam is so so sweet. light of my life cam. talented and artistic and handsome cam.#but. cam doesnt watch movies. or make mixtapes. or kiss me in the front seat of their car because our noses touched when we laughed#AGAIN SORRY. NORMAL. i need to tell my parents about the movie (tradition that they hear all about it) and NOT bring any of this up#i will be dodging the allegations the whole time. NOT EVERYONE GETS SOMEONE PREGNANT IN HIGH SCHOOL FATHER.#so there is that.
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dnangelic · 2 days
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daisuke’s desire to be independent and confident and reliable like dark versus dark’s desire for compassion and vulnerability and intimacy like daisuke. it’s never one or the other it’s always both of them at once wanting to be like their inversions and yet thereby producing the exact same singular individual at their core. a devil with a cherub heart and a cherub with a devil’s, both of them in the longing dark!!
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sskk-manifesto · 2 months
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kindacreepy-kindaugly · 11 months
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why is it so much worse knowing how many people out there want me (& everyone in this body) dead cause we don't feel empathy than knowing about the ones who want the same cause we're trans
#i mean i guess it's cause we live in a bubble where most people we know are trans#n the whole 'empathy makes us human' thing is a rly popular opinion in the more progressive circles#i guess it's. just another item in the long list of traits that might make us subhuman to others#we don't even have it as bad as people w/ like aspd n stuff. it's a lot easier to hide for us#usually will come off as social awkwardness instead#but every time there's a video going around the mainstream sm where someone w/ low/no empathy talks about how their mind works#the majority of the comments are just so. dehumanizing. like we're some rabid animals that need to be put down for public safety#n i guess causw it's so inherently linked to whatever it is about our wiring that makes us so. different from almost everyone else.#why we can't seem to connect w/ people n why we feel so fucking isolated all the time#like we just came out wrong n there's no fixing it#& the way we've lately come to understand more how much dmg our mother prevented w/ her parenting#but also how much of it that stuck coulda been prevented if she'd had the tools & safe environment#i don't even mean like. the trauma shit. but the things that needed to be noticed n steered into a different direction when we were small#instead of us wreaking havoc up to our late teens when we finally connected some dots that most people have connected from birth#though i think most of the usual ways of correcting it are more or less abusive. there's ones that aren't but idk how accessible that info#woulda been 20+ years ago#anyway it just really sucks how our fb feed tries to give us some light informative vids on people w/ similar experiences in some areas#n the comments are 80% ppl throwing around diagnoses they don't understand#n holding us responsible for everything their shitty abusive ex/parent/boss did#n literally sayin shit like 'people like this are better off dead'#not very good for my mental health#even though i don't give much more value to those people than they put on ones like me#spdrvent
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insanechayne · 2 months
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#every time I call someone my best friend they turn into a fucking problem that just hurts me and makes me sick#is it me? am I doing something wrong? am I not supposed to have close friends?#or am I just such a fuckup that by being myself it’s inevitable that I’ll ruin my friendships?#kissed my bro on the cheek last week when he wasn’t doing too great and in my mind I was doing it just as an extra way to be encouraging#and show my support and that I’m here for him cause tbh I’ve done that with plenty of other friends and it ain’t no thing#but after a week of wondering why he’s been distant and not wanting to be around me when I’m saying I just need some time with a friend he#finally admits that he thought that was weird and out of line. so I gotta backtrack and try to explain myself but now all the stupid little#pieces be fitting and I realize that he’s probably been misconstruing me wanting time with him as thinking I’m gonna try to flirt with him#or something else fucking dumb like that. despite the fact that that has never been the case and he knows me fundamentally as a person and#should know I wouldn’t ever do anything that could make either of us cheaters even incidentally. plus he’s basically like a brother to me#and I have an AFAB partner so it’s not like I’m trolling for cock anyway and he knows that too. but now I gotta go back through every#interaction we’ve had since that happened and analyze whether or not I was weird or awkward or inappropriate in some way that he could be#upset about at all. and also act like everything is fine and keep it pushing like normal and police every future action to be safe too#because of course he can’t just be straight up about anything or tell me if something bothered him no I gotta play a whole ass fucking#guessing game. and now I also can’t trust that my best friend who is supposed to know me so well won’t take things I say/do the wrong way.#can’t trust that my best friend won’t see me in a poor light now because it’s clearly been affecting the friendship#and like totally that’s my bad I overstepped a boundary I didn’t realize was there but you should have just fucking told me at the time#instead of pulling this shit and giving me anxiety and blowing me off and making me feel like shit#can’t rely on him or trust him or anything and what’s the fucking point of even having a best friend if this is what happens? I’m at the end#of my fucking rope right now so stressed and anxious and no matter how much I try to talk to him or anything he just brushes me off and#won’t let me explain or get my feelings out or anything else. but hey at least I was around for him the other day when he needed somebody#good thing I was there to keep him from going back to drinking or something else stupid and could help him out. cause that’s what really#matters right just being able to help somebody else when they need it even if they don’t reciprocate and are actively hurting me instead of#just being there for me as a friend. guess we try again tomorrow huh? what else can be done I suppose. just get to suffer and be riddled#with anxiety and stress and depression eating away at me and ruining my fucking life. can’t even enjoy the Olympics or anything else because#I’m stuck overthinking this dumb shit. just want this to be over and things to be back to normal. wanna stop being upset about this shit and#be able to let it go but I don’t fucking know how and I can’t keep losing friends because it’s killing me#personal
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inkskinned · 2 years
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it's been said before and i'm sure said better than i can phrase it. but really, really - if you like making "i'm going to kill myself" jokes, please try switching to being ironically conceited instead.
anytime something goes wrong, say things like "ah well at least i'm beautiful and charming and everyone loves me." when you forget something, try "my big huge brain is so smart and thinking about too many other very big wizardly thoughts you wouldn't even understand." when you're frustrated by one of your symptoms, start talking like you're in My Immortal. "Life has come for me but my eyes are beautiful pools of gorgeous fire and my hair is amazing. I stuck my middle finger up at life and told it to fuck off and it did."
just... try it for a month or two. try saying the most absurdly self-congratulatory shit you can think of.
i know it's tempting to make suicide or self-harm jokes. and for me at least, a decade ago (!) when someone suggested i stop making those kinds of jokes, i was kind of at a loss for what to replace them with. i wanted to make light of these moments, but genuinely (at the time) my first thought really was suicidal ideation. there was a part of me that even felt like ... i was kind of "making light" of that voice. that if i could say i want to die lol, it would help take the sting out of that genuine (albeit passive) desire. like i could turn my illness into a joke.
when i started complimenting myself instead, it felt awkward and stupid. it felt really, really ironic. what i was actually saying was nobody would ever think this stuff about me, that's what makes it so fucking funny.
but. the effect was immediate. first thing i noticed was the people around me. when i dropped a glass and said ah my skin is too beautiful and sleek the glass has swooned and broken for me, other people were suddenly overjoyed to jump in with the joke. rather than making an awkward moment, we'd both start cracking up. ah princess sleek hands, i've heard of you.
i was 19. i hadn't noticed i'd been making others tense when i said i want it all to end. i know now that it's incredibly hard to know how to walk that moment - do you talk to them about your concern? do you potentially make them uncomfortable by asking if they're okay? do you ignore the situation? do you help them pick up the glass, or do they need to do it by themselves? are they genuinely made suicidal over this small moment? and most importantly, how do you - without professional training or supplies - actually help?
most people want to help you pick up the glass in your life, they just have no fucking idea how to do it. they don't want to make anything worse. they don't want to make assumptions about you. they love you, they're scared for you - and being scared makes people kind of freeze up. it's not because they don't love you. it's because they do.
now when something bad happens, my first thought is how can i make a stupid joke about this. it isn't my brain saying you're a dumb fucking bitch. i spend more time laughing. i spend more time being gentle with myself. i spend more time feeling good.
and the thing is - what's kind of funny - is that you'd be surprised by how many people agree with you. the first time i said i'm too pretty to understand that, someone else said to be fair you're the prettiest person in this room. i promise - you really don't know how kindly your friends see you. but they love you for a reason. they sort of reverse-velveteen-rabbit you. your weird and ugly spots fade away and you just become... the love they want to give you.
go love yourself ironically. the worst thing that happens is that you end up tricking your reflection into actually loving you.
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moechies · 5 months
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eeee but ok what about a make out sesh with sugu that ends with him begging to finger you >.<
౨ৎ ⋆ please?! ꨄ geto suguru
sypnosis: inexperienced college students you ‘nd suguru with a mischievous pact
content warnings 𝜚 𓈒 vunerable virgin reader, no p in v, soft, messy, fingering, making out, praiseee, he cums from rubbin himself, light oral (f rec.), pet names : baby, honey doll !! !
an ♡ . . this ask omg anon u are genius . dis is absolutely so cute and ugggghhhhhh m melting <3 literally love u . i love dis ask a lot so this is a bit longer than my usual drabbles , so im makin it a fic :D enjoyyyyyy loviessss
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it’s hot , sloppy , messy.
bodies pressed against each others as your guy’s lips clash feverently against each others , sloppy noises elicited from you two’s ‘practice.’
it was never supposed to go so far. it started from something so innocent yet so dirty , the two of you prompting to practice making out with eachother; every friday and saturday night in the comfort of his private dorm.
nights usually started off awkward, with you at the front of his doorstep nervously knocking at his door. he was intimidating, tall, and so handsome; everything you’d consider perfect. it made you want to shrivel and hide.
your first couple sessions consisted of awkward touches, usually his fingers hovering above your warm skin with a light shiver , staring into you for any affirmation to touch you.
“is it okay? ‘m not gonna do anythin’ weird.”
making out with him was sloppy and messy, rhythmless and random. neither of you would stop the other unless one had run out of breath , but that was the fun of it; you suppose.
“d-do you wanna keep goin’?” he pants, face awfully close to yours, not sparing another breath when you mindlessly nod. in a blink, his swollen lips are clad against yours once again.
this time , it had been no different. it had been 3 weeks after your set arrangements , and nothing had seemingly been different.
right ?
so why did it feel so much more intimate ? you try to speculate , but the man’s mouth occupies all of you. geto makes you feel so fuzzy, your body, your mind, incapable of a single coherent thought in the heat of the moment.
he wastes no time pressing your body into the soft of the mattress with his own, hand pursed into the soft pillow with intertwined fingers.
you gasp into his mouth , waiting for the moment he allows you time for a quick breather, but it never comes. instead he refuses to detach himself from you as you grow lightheaded.
“s-suguru hah— ,what’s wrong with you?”
“baby , i need y’so bad. i cant . . ”
your brow arches in confusion , but all becoming much clearer when you feel his frigid fingers dance on the band of your skimpy shorts.
“w-wait—“
”y’gonna let me touch you here?” he teases, his thumb pressing up on your clit through your shorts, right above the wet patch of your sticky cum.
“eeek — hold on, sugu !”
“please ? let me finger you baby . w’na make you feel good s’bad.”
you whimper at his offer, overwhelmed by the suddenness of his question. it had never gone this far, you had never expected it to. to say that you hoped it would happen was an understatement; you dreamt of this. truly.
his soft hands run over your soft skin, chubby lips pressing breathy kisses all over your face and neck, and overly desperate bulge lazily humping into the fat of your panty-clad pussy. it’s all too much.
“let me feel you , honey, c’mon.” he rushes, smirking into your skin with a soft kiss to your collarbone.
“o-okay, suguru !” you blurt .
he’s sighs in relief, hands wasting no time to tug off your shorts along side your panties. your sweet cunt radiates a soft heat he’s able to feel against the palm of his hand, chuckling as he watches your cunt pulse around nothing.
he’s obsessed, and he thinks it may be love . he finds himself unable to pull his eyes away from the gorgeous sight, pupils in the shape of hearts as he watches your puffy hole uncontrollably drool with pearlescent slick.
“s-stop starin’ sugu—“ you mumble, quickly bringing a hand down to cover yourself from his roaming eyes. you’re quickly stopped by his hand, never holding a chance in the first place.
“you’ve never done this before ?”
“obviously not! “ your eyes are shut tight, tears pricking at the corners and damping your lashes. you’re obviously embarrassed, and he wouldn’t have you any other way. this is perfect.
he says nothing but chuckles, flinching when you unexpectedly feel his lips against yours, one that slowly converts into something much more sensual.
you feel the pad of his thumb slide against your sticky cunt, merely pressing the tip inside to tease you. he swallows up your yelp, feeling him smile against your lips.
his pushes in half a digit, followed with short but rhythmic pumps. your cunt squelches and squeezes around him, allowing sweet honeyed moans to fall upon your lips.
“y’feel so good, feels so good doll. can’t believe y-you’ve been hidin’ this from me.” he groans.
“you’re so evil baby .”
“ff-feels s’good too, hnn—“
he curls his finger, purposely nudging against your spongy walls. you squeak, pressing against his wrists to rid his movements on your sensitive pussy.
“n-not there !”
“be still baby. let me have this, ‘s my first time too, okay?”
“w-wait—“
he kisses you again, silencing your whines. he gains speed in his movements , his free hand coming down to relief some tension for his own cock, which had been painfully strained against his boxers.
he’s sure you see him do the filthy act when your face flushes , eyes unable to meet his own as you can’t help but stare, trying your best to look away.
“y’r still so shy when my finger’s inside this pussy?”
“d-don’t say that !”
you whine. your back arches when he slips another finger in besides his first , the girth and length of both digits filling you like no other could. you’d imagine what his cock would feel like in comparison to this, but you can’t.
“d-dizzy, suguru— ‘m gonna cum, i— can’t !”
“cum doll, please, cum f’me, need it so bad..” he whines, feverently jerking at his cock as his eyes zero in on your lewd expression.
he pants with relief when he feels your cunt convulse around his slim digits, a sticky, creamy essence that coats his fingers. he pulls himself away from the mess, smearing a bit on the soft of your thigh before pressing a unmatched kiss onto your lips.
your mess coats the fat folds of your cunt, sweet pearly clit puffy and swollen, just oh, so desperate to be loved. he can tell. he leans down in between your legs before you take notice, pressing a harsh kiss against your slippery bud. one hard enough that you’re unable to push his head away with all your might, forced to lay still below him as he gently suckles on your clit and sneakily licks at your creamy mess.
he raises his head with a proud snarky grin, only to be met with a flick on the forehead and a light scolding.
he sighs, squirming uncomfortably at the noted mess in his boxers. not a word is exchanged between the two of you, only light pants that reverberate around the small of his dorm room.
“w-wanna go further ?”
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taevjim · 1 month
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The Boy Next Door (m) jjk
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pairing: gamer boy! jjk x female reader
genre: smut….just smut…
summary: The cute guy next door was really starting to work your nerves after only residing beside you for a couple weeks. You could hardly get much sleep, his hooting and hollering keeping you up at all hours of the night. You grow tired of his antics one late Friday night and decide to confront him for his selfish actions. Who knew gaming wasn’t the only way for Jungkook to keep you up at night…
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You lay in bed for the fourth night in a row with a pillow wrapped around your head, hoping to block the sounds of yelling and obnoxious laughing from reaching your ear drums. For the last two weeks, night after night, your neighbor has done absolutely nothing but be the biggest nuisance a person could ever manage being in their life time.
At first you were excited to discover that you had a new neighbor, not very many people residing with you on your floor of the complex. You liked being alone- a true hermit at heart- but the extra company would never hurt anyone, right?
Wrong.
You learned the name of your pesky neighbor- Jungkook. All thanks to the girl he had hanging on his arm like an accessory only a few days prior, unable to stop his name from tumbling from her drunk lips. You took the liberty of going out for once, deciding to go out for drinks with a couple of girls from work.
Being that it was the first time you saw him that night, your eyes curiously landed on him the minute you came off the elevator.
His appearance was more than jaw dropping. He was lean, standing at probably 6’2, and also promisingly buff. His shoulders were broad and the outlines of his muscles through his shirt had you fixated on his figure.
It wasn’t until you noticed the very intoxicated girl hanging from his arm that made you roll you eyes. You try to ignore the giggles as you hurry to your door, hoping he gets inside his apartment before he sees you.
He’s fumbling for his keys from his pockets, almost as intoxicated as the girl he had with him. You can’t help but notice the way she’s all over him. Her hands are jammed up the front of his shirt, shamelessly coping a feel on the man out in the open. However, he doesn’t seem to mind as he’s looking down at her, a smirk on his pretty face.
His hair looked so plush and you couldn’t help but feel a vague pang of jealously at the sight of the girl running her fingers through the dark tresses. He had a piercing on his bottom lip, the way the light hit the metal capturing your attention towards his mouth.
And the bedroom eyes, Jesus.
His eyes bounced back and forth from the keyhole on the door to the girl at his side. He looked down at her in a way you don’t think you’ve ever been looked at in your life. The way his eyelids weighed down with want. His gaze strong and captivating. It was the playful wink he casts that has you in a chokehold.
He wasn’t even looking at you and you were ready to fall apart before the man.
You didn’t realize you’d been staring until his gaze floats over to you. You quickly avert your eyes and shove your key in the door so you could escape the awkward environment.
You don’t miss the sound of his teasing chuckle as you retreat into your apartment, the slam of his apartment door coming only moments after yours.
That’s the night you really started to despise him.
You’re revealed the true intentions behind his company as you lie awake, listening to the sounds of high pitched moans and the thumping from the bed frame hitting the wall. At this time, they had been going at it for going on an hour.
The clock reads 1:07 am and you let out a groan, flopping your head back on the pillow.
After about another thirty minutes of listening to constant moaning and banging against the wall, you hear faint voices out in the hallway. Then the sound of a door closing follows soon after and then silence…
Every night after that, it’s not just sex noises from next door that keep you awake. Now it’s the yelling and laughing that seems to not usually start until around 10pm at night.
You figure it to be video games causing the source of the ruckus, judging by the multiple comments you hear being yelled into the air. Comments like “Dude he’s right there!” “Behind you, behind you!” “Bullshit, I swear I shot him!” “There’s only one left!”
It was beginning to drive you crazy.
You’ve tried banging on the wall back at him, hoping to make it clear that he was being too loud and needed to shut the hell up. Unfortunately, it never worked. You imagine he wouldn’t be able to hear you, or maybe he just didn’t give a shit that he was disturbing you.
Now here you were, going on night four in a row of no sleep due to your next door neighbor.
It wasn’t a constant chain of outbursts. That’s what frustrated you the most. He would get real loud momentarily and then quiet back down just long enough for you to almost fall asleep. Just for him to cry out again and jostle you back awake. It was like a cycle. A never ending cycle that sometimes lasted until 4am.
You groan as you hear him cackle loudly, clearly having no kind of consideration for those who may be sleeping. Or in your case, trying to.
Huffing with anger, you jump up out of bed and bang a couple times on your wall very loudly. “Can you please keep it down?!” You yell through the wall and quickly press your ear against the surface, listening for a response.
Just like every other time, you don’t get one.
You just stand there for a few moments and listen. After a couple minutes of silence, you make your way back to your bed and attempt to get comfortable.
Like clockwork, as soon as you feel yourself start to slowly drift asleep…
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”
Your eyes slam back open, Jungkook’s loud mouth keeping you from sleep once again.
“I’ve fucking had it.” You grumble to yourself and quickly slip out of bed.
You grab your robe that was sitting on your chair and drape it around your body, angrily tying the string around your waist. You don’t even bother to put shoes on as you make a bee line to the front door.
Swinging it open, you stomp out into the hallway and furiously beat your fist against your neighbor’s door.
It takes a few moments of your fist pounding against the wood before the door swings open and you’re met with your infuriating specimen of a neighbor.
His headset is resting on top of his head, his right ear muff moved off of his ear so he could hear. His glasses sit at the bridge of his nose and his eyes stare back at you through the frames.
He doesn’t even seem interested in the reason behind you banging on his door like you’re a part of the SWAT team as his eyes take in your appearance.
Your robe was tied in a rush, leaving it opened in the front just enough for Jungkook to get an eye full of your cleavage. He also notices the fact that the material doesn’t even cover any further than your mid thigh. It’s evident that you didn’t put much thought into what you’re wearing when his gaze travels up to see the angry look in your eyes.
“Can you please, I will literally get on my knees and beg, please keep it down. You keep me up every night with your,” you frantically point at the device on his head, “gaming bullshit. Whatever it is you’re doing in here, I don’t care. Just please let me sleep.”
The entirety of your words don’t really reach him, you notice as a devilish smirk forms across his lips.
“Get on your knees and beg, you say?” You just scoff and roll your eyes at his immaturity.
“Of course that’s the only thing you heard me say.”
He chuckles and puts his hands up in defense. “Sorry, princess. I didn’t mean to be too loud for you.”
It’s clear that he’s just teasing you. The urge you possess to just reach over and smack that shit eating grin off of his handsome face slowly starts to take over your body.
“A part of me thinks you just do it on purpose,” you say, narrowing your eyes at him.
He just laughs and then tugs his pretty pink bottom lip between his teeth.
You have to fight the groan that wants to come out of your throat so badly. He was so hot, too hot for his own good. You couldn’t imagine the amount of women this man probably had under his foot at every beck and call. How can someone still manage to be so charming while being a complete ass?
The air suddenly feels colder and you self consciously push your arms in on yourself, wrapping them around your body at the waist.
His eyes flicker down at the movement and his focus pivots to one of your nipples that suddenly grow hard, pebbling just beneath the fabric of your robe. Suddenly, he gives you a sweet smile and widens his door for you a little.
“You cold, pretty? I can help warm you up.”
The look in his eyes is dangerous, a stark contrast to the cute smile he wears on his face.
That’s when you realize how little clothing you actually were wearing, now feeling exposed to his hungry eyes. Alas, his offer still interests you.
You just scoff and slightly peak around his shoulder inside of his apartment. “Warm me up how?” You question.
“Why don’t you come inside and I’ll show you?” He asks, stepping aside to allow you room to enter. You look up at him with curious eyes and you don’t notice the minuscule bob of his adams apple as he gulps.
Sure he was a tease. His ability to get women left and right whenever he wanted had many men wishing they were him. However, that still didn’t mean he didn’t get nervous around a pretty girl. A pretty girl such as yourself was lethal to men like Jungkook.
Girls like you were usually more challenging to acquire. They typically played more hard to get. So naturally, he wasn’t really taking his teasing comments toward you seriously.
He was really just expecting you to brush off his suggestive comments and stomp off back to your apartment, as girls like you would usually do. It was a cat and mouse sort of thing for them. They liked to dangle themselves in front of hot blooded men, looking all pretty and ready to be snatched up- just to run away at the last second and run them around like a dog.
Jungkook had been with a hefty number of women, so he liked to think he knew his way around them and their antics pretty well.
What he didn’t expect, though, was for you to take him up on his offer and enter into his apartment.
"How cute," you tease, picking up one of his halo action figures he had sitting on the counter.
He closes the door, his cheeks heating up slightly as he feels embarrassment.
"Don't do that." He takes the object from you, not missing the way you giggle cutely.
He shoves it in a drawer and points a finger at you in warning. "It is a very manly hobby, don't you dare say anything."
"Right...." You're feeling bold as you start to inch closer to him. His nerdiness intrigued you. You actually did think it was cute. Even cuter when it's a super attractive dream boat of a man who's into such hobbies.
Once you stop in front of him, you look up. His eyes twinkle with eagerness and it makes you smirk.
"You said something about warming me up earlier, if you remember." He lets out a groan at the sight of you looking up at him that way. He hated to admit that he has met his match, having not met such a woman who was eager to play his own game against him.
You reach towards him and grab at one of his hands, bringing it to the tie of your robe that held the fabric together. He loops a finger around the material and with a quick tug, he pulls your body closer to him. He's looking down at you over the slope of his nose, your intense gaze matching his own.
"I did say that." His voice comes out low, husky, so melodic to your ears.
The feeling of your chest against his has Jungkook taking a deep breath, trying his hardest not to break your eye contact.
With a flick of his wrist, he's managed to pull the knot loose to your robe. The two pieces of fabric fall open and reveal a sliver of your naked torso to the man.
He's quickly flicking the headset off of him and tossing it on the couch before he surges forward and scoops you up. The smallest yelp escapes you at the sudden action and you just wrap your legs around his waist on instinct. His hands immediately find their way underneath the curve of your ass cheeks and he grips the fat between his fingers.
"You feel so soft," he whispers into your neck, finding his way to his bedroom with no problem.
Once he gets to the foot of his bed, he carefully drops you in the center; watching the way your body slightly bounces on impact. Your robe has completely fallen open and your tits were fully out, so vulnerable to his eyes.
He doesn't bother to move for a few moments. Instead, he just sits down in his chair and leans back to admire your figure lying sprawled out on his sheets. His eyes dance around the expansion of your skin, down the curve of your hips, to the prettiest set of thighs he's ever seen.
From the position where he's sitting, he can see the faint dark spot in your panties. His pants were tight from the moment he opened his front door to you, but seeing that has them growing impossibly tighter. Which was hard, considering the fact he was wearing sweatpants.
"Are you wet?" His question has you suppressing a giggle. He clearly already knew the answer. He just wanted to hear you say it.
You sit up on your elbows and nod your head at him before you ask in the sweetest voice, "Wanna see?"
He sits up in his chair, leaning closer to your direction. You take his movement as an answer to your question and reach down to slide your panties down your legs.
You don't bother to rid yourself of them completely, allowing the fabric to lazily dangle from your ankle. You sit up on your elbows once again and let your legs fall open, revealing your most intimate parts to your hot neighbor.
He can feel his mouth start to salivate at the sight of your pussy displayed to his greedy eyes. The wetness you've produced has Jungkook's gaze slightly widening.
"You were this wet the whole time?" he asks, almost in disbelief.
You feel his fingers on you suddenly, causing you to gasp. He wastes no time in burying his middle finger in your pussy up to the knuckle. Your back is arching and a soft moan rolls off of your tongue.
Jungkook decides to get closer to you, his knees now pressing into the bed as he crawls over your body. He slides another finger inside of you and lowers his face right above yours. “What a dirty girl you are,” he whispers into your neck, his breath crawling across your skin so faint.
You’re whimpering at his words but mainly from the feeling of his fingers still moving inside of you. This wasn’t exactly what you pictured happening when you decided to come confront him for his loudness. You couldn’t really say you were complaining, though.
His face was just so pretty. The way his glasses sat low on his nose, his gaze intense as he sets his eyes on you. He made you squirm beneath him.
The trust of his fingers driving into your core doesn’t stop and it has your head stretched back to rest against the pillows. Your back arches and Jungkook takes the opportunity to slide his other hand underneath you and across your back, holding you closer to his body.
Well, you suppose this was one way to make sure you were getting no sleep tonight. At least this way was a lot more worth it.
“Talk to me, baby.”
The sound of his voice pulls you out of your thoughts and your eyes land back on his. “There she is,” he teases, a smirk now resting on his ridiculously soft lips.
He increases the movement in his wrist, only driving his fingers deeper inside of you and the feeling has your eyes rolling back.
Your climax was climbing rapidly, the way your muscles twitch around Jungkook’s fingers making him fully aware.
“You gonna come, baby?” You frantically nod your head at his words, a few whines slipping past your lips. Before you’re granted your orgasm, Jungkook is pulling his fingers from you.
The second a whine attempts to bubble from your mouth, Jungkook leans over and plants his lips on yours. They’re just as soft as you imagined them to be and the taste he provides has you pushing your mouth deeper against his, kissing him back in desperation.
He shoves his head in the bend of your neck and reaches a hand down to spread your thigh wider; his other hand was busy with pulling the front of his sweatpants down. He chuckles at the sight of your cotton thong, that famous smirk plastered across his pretty face again.
“It’s almost like you knew you would be getting fucked, huh?” His tone is accusing, his face floating around in front of yours.
You just shrug teasingly, gently pulling your lip between your teeth. "As long as it's you, I won't complain.”
The feeling of Jungkook’s cock suddenly sliding in you has you gasping for breath. You try to keep yourself propped up on your elbows, the sight of his thick fingers holding the fabric of your panties to the side as he drills himself deeper in your body soon becoming too much.
His eyebrows are pinched together, his eyes completely focused on the vision of his dick disappearing inside of you. Your plump body was so warm and soft; he loved the way you felt under his fingertips.
Your mouth is slightly hung open, whimpers and moans escaping your throat like butter.
He admired the reaction he gained from your body, from the faces you made to the way your body twisted and turned in his grasp.
"Please, come closer to me." You're whining and reaching out to grab onto his meaty shoulders, pulling him closer against your body. He chuckles at your desperation; he found it quite cute.
"I'm right here, pretty." He whispers into your ear and increases the speed of his thrusts into your body. Your senses were on overload, he was driving you crazy; his scent, his touch, the smug look on his sexy face. You were a wrecked, soppy, dirty mess.
He leans back to sit on his knees and pulls you with him. He sits you in his lap, both hands on the fat of your hips, fucking into you like his life depends on it.
The force he used while thrusting into you had you gripping the man's shoulders, your loud moans in his ear only egging on his actions. His fingers made indents into your soft body; his grip so tight on you, you were scared of breaking. You would love to be broken by Jungkook, though. You would beg.
"Fuck, Jungkooo-" He performs a particularly hard thrust, momentarily cutting off your words and knocking the breath from you.
"What is it, baby?" He asks softly in your ear, his grip on you remaining as tight as a vice.
"You feel sooo, mmmmm so good." Your words come out in a mess due to your inability to really focus on putting them together in a sentence. He smirks as he watches you struggle.
You look down at him, watching the way his hair dangles in front of his eyes, his lip caught between his pink lips. His eyes were dangerous, looking at you with such hunger and intensity. The visual of him was enough to have you crying out, his name sticking to your lips.
"You're gonna make me come," You whisper into his neck, a whimper following close behind.
He reaches out to you and grips you by the throat, pulling you away from his body.
"Stop hiding from me," he grunts, his pace increasing to a brutal pace, "I wanna see your pretty face when you come on my cock."
His dirty words have you shaking like a leaf, your orgasm finally washing over you.
"Fuck, you're gripping me so tight." He groans and tightens his fingers around your throat, the pace of his thrusting not letting up.
Jesus, he's got some stamina.
He's wearing a cocky smile on his face as he watched the way your mouth hangs open, those cute little whimpers escaping your body.
The next expression to take over his beautiful features is one of bliss. His eyebrows push together and his mouth opens slightly, his eyes drifting down to the way his cock slides inside of you. "It looks so fucking good," he whines and pulls you closer to him by the back of your neck.
He pushes his forehead against yours and holds you there as you listen to the pretty moans release from the man. You bite your lip to contain your own sounds just so you could keep listening to him.
Followed by his moans is a warm feeling that suddenly washes over your lower half.
"I'm coming, baby." He's now holding your jaw with both hands, his thrusts growing harder so he can ride out his release. "Such a pretty little pussy to take my big load, hm?"
His words manage to have you moaning again, mixed between the feeling of his increase of speed; the feeling of his hips violently knocking into yours. You're coming...again.
The sounds roll off your tongue and Jungkook leans in to peck your lips. "What a good girl," he whispers, "coming for me twice. You're so good."
Once you've both come down from your sex high, Jungkook climbs off of you.
You hear the shower turn on once he enters the bathroom, only emerging immediately after. His eyes land on you and he grins. "Come shower with meee."
The whine in his voice has you giggling, until he leans down to place a warm kiss on your neck. You let out a small gasp and Jungkook just takes the initiative to bend down and scoop you up.
A few moments later, Jungkook has you giggling as he childishly rubs soap all over your breasts. He seems to be having the time of his life too.
"Are you happy now?" You just stand there, allowing him to finger paint on your body with the foamy soap.
He chuckles at your question and nods. Then he's reaching out and grasping a nipple between his fingers, walking closer to you. "Who knew this would be what I get for being such a disturbing neighbor."
You squint your eyes at him for his teasing and swat his hands away from you. You just roll your eyes and step around him to get to the shower door. "It's not my fault your charms and incredibly good looks took advantage of me."
You're reaching for the shower door and you're immediately interrupted with Jungkook's strong arms wrapping around you. "Come on, pretty, don't be that way."
You sink into his embrace, his close proximity already getting you cockdrunk again.
"I promise to never keep you up past your bedtime again," he pulls you into his chest and leans down to place a kiss below your ear, "unless I have the opportunity to fuck that pretty pussy again."
His vulgar vocabulary had your cheeks heating up and you playfully swat him away again and quickly exit the shower, not missing the teasing chuckle he lets out over your shy reaction.
That night, you stayed at Jungkook's.
And the night after that.
And the night after that.
He just loved to keep you awake.
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quickest piece i've ever produced. enjoy, cuties <3
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yanderenightmare · 8 months
Text
Deku - Midoriya Izuku
TW: NSFW, noncon, yandere
gn reader
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Thinking about being childhood friends with Izuku, who’s always had a bit of a crush on you. 
You’ve always known, but you’ve never humored it. He’s your friend – anything else would just be awkward. If you had to put it in any other term, you’d say he felt more like a little brother.
You wish he’d allowed the two of you to grow apart – as normal people do.
There wasn’t really any reason for the two of you to stay friends after middle school. His quirk suddenly manifested, and he got into UA – became a pro-hero – and then the symbol of peace. And you were still… kind of just doing your thing – studying, working, struggling to pay rent – struggling to keep a date…
The two of you never had much in common anyway, and you never really knew what to talk about with him anymore – only knowing to ask him how his mother was. After all, you grew out of your otaku phase a long while ago – and otherwise, you felt out-educated in any and every conversation the two of you had with each other. You swear talking to him makes you feel like a toddler learning your first words – it’s humiliating, and you don’t understand how any of it’s remotely stimulating for him, either.
Still, he’ll text you when he has the time, asking if you’d like to meet up at a café – talk, catch up – and you, not wanting to be rude, always accept.
You’d gone wide-eyed the first time you’d met him after middle school. Jeez Louise – he’d had to have grown twice his size – jacked and scarred to no end. It only got worse over the years. Now, adults – he must be twice your size. Bigger even.
You blush now when he flirts with you. But not so much for the reasons he wants.
Honestly, it’s more uncomfortable than it’s flattering. It was Izuku, after all – Deku – no matter how little he resembled the crybaby from your childhood – he’d always be that same nerdy loser friend who’d chased after you ever since you first met.
He might have grown up, but his crush on you hadn’t.
His doe-eyed look of longing and adoration had always made you feel a little awkward – a little sorry for him. And now that he’s become a man, it’s only become even more… desperate… a little pathetic, actually…
Bedroom eyes that make you laugh nervously, pretending to brush it off as a joke but really wishing he’d just give it a rest already. Surely, as a pro-hero and public figure, he could get a date? One of the many screaming fans that pine for him everywhere he drags that awful golden cape he has on his shoulders. And if not any of them, then maybe a model. A movie star even.
Why is he so hung up on you?
The funny thing is, you’d tried vying him of his crush by telling him about hook-up after hook-up, boyfriend after boyfriend – treating him like a girlfriend you could gossip with.
But it’s almost like he takes it as a challenge – talking and helping you through your relationships, giving his input and advice – just like a real friend would… only… always implementing something… something condescending, something suggestive, something saying you ought to be with him instead – he’d never treat you like that, he’d never do you wrong, you’d be taking good care of with him.
You’d made the mistake of saying you were struggling with a class at university – just to make conversation – just to talk about something trivial. But of course, he’d seen it as an opportunity – quick to offer his help, saying he’d taken that class as an extracurricular – just for a bit of fun, he’d said, light reading material he’d done on the side of his internship.
You don’t know why it’s so hard to tell him no.
Suppose it’s the possibility of being wrong – the guilt of thinking he has impure intentions when he’s supposedly the purest person in the world.
But you should have trusted your instincts.
“Please, Izuku-” You’d immediately restored to begging. Who wouldn’t? He’s a two-meter-tall monster of a man – jacked with muscles fatter than a bear.
Your phone’s been missing since you came back from the bathroom – your lips wet with his unwanted kisses – your neck sore from having his fist wrapped around it when you tried stopping him.
You’d only managed to break free after biting – blood salty in your mouth. You nearly vomited, choking on a mix of bile and fear.
Fuck – your legs are so weak, you might just buckle from the dread alone – feeling like a bunny snagged on fox teeth.
“You used to take me when we’d play wrestle... you remember?”
The comment is pulled out of nowhere.
He stalks you, a fond look on his face as though the two of you were reminiscing good old times. As though his eyes weren’t a nocturnal green like foxfire on the fen. As though he wasn’t radiating black whip – ready to snare you.
“Think you can take me now?”
You had your hands raised apprehensively – but the hopelessness took its toll and made your entire body shake on the spot.
Your only hope was to talk him out of it. If only you could think past the fear and string a sentence together that wasn’t along the lines of “Please-”
But something about that look on his face told you he wouldn’t listen to reason anymore. Not manic, not like a person who’d finally snapped – but controlled – resolute – and playful even. Nothing like you’d ever seen. Nothing you could understand.
“What’s wrong, hm?” He smiles, head tipped in that charming way that used to make you want to pinch his cheek. Now it just makes you sick to look at – swallowing thickly as you tack another step back away from it. “I’ll go easy – so don’t worry… I know it's not exactly a fair fight anymore…”
Your better judgment failed you – fight-or-flight kicked in, and you made a break for it. 
Budging into the couch on your way, it’s a messy scramble for the door – but you manage. Feeling feverish with dread and pumped full of adrenaline, you brush the cold handle with just your fingertips before something wraps around your midriff in a snug grip – pulling you back into the living room.
You’re lifted from the ground, kicking – now screaming – flailing in the air before you’re flipped on your back against the couch.
“Don’t be like that~” He murmurs. “Always so wishy-washy~” Voice in a low purr that makes you feel like coughing up your heart – squirming beneath him and his heavy hands as they paw your thighs – manhandling you like nothing you’d ever imagine him to do.
Raking his fingers through the dough before squeezing your ass greedily – kneading his fat crotch against the thin fabric protecting your sex. 
“Complaining about all your weak-dicked boyfriends as if begging me to come fuck you myself – yet such a flighty little slut when it comes down to it.” He sneers, and blackwhip tightens some around your limbs. “Let me help you out.”
One hand tugs your underwear until it rips, whilst the other hand pulls up to grab your face – squeezing your cheeks to keep you still when forcing his kisses on you.
“After all… what are friends for?”
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♡ DEKU - MIDORIYA IZUKU masterlist ♡ BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA masterlist
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