#the longer you look at this pic the weirder it is

[s0livagant]

Sav clears out her camera roll: Group Greta pt. 41

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 1/23/2024

listen i got my last job through one of youse on here so weirder things have happened: i got fired bc the nonprofit wasn’t doing so hot. let me know if you have a weird data/database or market/tech research job. i promise my worksona is so so so nice and pleasant to work with. remote only, looking more in the $75k range but can be a bit flexible if it’s a cool enough job, i am in the central time zone of the USA and will not need sponsorship anywhere but DO need the cadillac of healthcare and dental plans. portfolio, publication list, and linkedin with my government name available on request!

listening

both of these are from my sister! this is another FULL ALBUM rec (good lord). The Offline’s album La couleur de la mer is a soundtrack to a movie that doesn’t exist, inspired by his long walks in the fog on the French Atlantic coast. a little spacey, a little soul, very sixties/seventies neonoir. i am quite fond of the very first track, Thème de la couleur de la mer.

she’s also sent me a bunch of tiktoks with Perfect (Exceeder) by Mason and Princess Superstar. hell of a goddamn music video for this thing. mid-aughts clubbing music at its finest. stopped me from dissolving into a puddle of emotions on the way to and from the vet today bc it’s too goddamn bouncy to be sad around

reading

im reading a trilogy i want to discuss as a whole whenever the third one comes through as a library hold, and a book by a friend. i do not typically talk about books or fics by friends here bc none of them have ever asked for critique, and i dont want to play favorites or inadvertently miss someone’s work. so here’s a story about porn on Wikimedia, which is the kind of database drama and technical arguments that fascinate me.

given the number of articles from 404 Media i shout about here and elsewhere i really should sign up for their $5/mo subscription tier when i have a steady income again

watching

somehow missed Star Wars Visions 2, their second anthology of weird little shorts. i was not super impressed by the overall storytelling this time around, but it was fun to see them reach out to more global studios and see a wider range of styles. there’s some goddamn incredible stop motion in here.

i particularly enjoyed Journey to the Dark Head, which not only has some interesting fringe Force believers and beliefs but has one of the sickest anime bullshit lightsaber fights in this season. this one is by Studio Mir, most known for the Legend of Korra.

also really liked The Spy Dancer by Studio La Cachette, partly bc it’s incredibly beautiful and i like when Star Wars leans into art nouveau, and partly bc it felt the most like a complete short story. emotional arc and everything! strong beginning middle and end! this IS a really low bar, but a lot of the shorts this season did not have a coherent little story to tell or a strong emotional arc, or fumbled their arc partway through, and were just kind of vibes and animation showcases? nothing necessarily wrong with that, also how i felt about most of the last collection. my expectations are underground for any Star Wars media.

playing

as is tradition i dithered about this section the most. this is more of a What’s Next? planning ramble.

the laptop gets shipped back to my old job today so i will no longer have a working modern computer. i have to dig the switch out and see what’s up. maybe start a whole new run in breath of the wild or whatever the last pokemon game was. i think i also have the sword boyfriend game everyone was up in arms about two years ago? and i think i am somehow part of a switch family plan that lets me have some older games?

this section may look very different in the next ??? amount of time until i get a company laptop again. or finally replace the motherboard on my personal desktop but that sat in my car for several weeks during the heat wave this summer while i did not have an apartment and i am really REALLY afraid to open that box.

oh the free epic game this week is a platformer, a genre i have historically not cared about. godspeed to those of you who do

making

soup bc aldi had alphabet pasta and that jolted me out of myself for long enough i was briefly convinced making alphabet pasta soup would fix me. so i found this recipe while in aldi. despite this not being a very good soup or a very good recipe, i feel a little triumphant bc i now know enough to brown the tomato paste before putting it in the soup. unfortunately i overcooked the pasta. there’s kind of a lot of texture happening here, and i wish i had chopped things finer, but i will probably steal my best friend’s blender tomorrow and blitz some of it down.

it’s edible. im going to eat it all. it will not be going in the rotation

[one-vivid-judgment]

Heya! No idea why people feel ashamed requesting spicy things. Or maybe it's just me who have no shame at all? Prolly :D Can I also please request walking in on them masturbating while moaning their s/o name with Judgment boys Tesso, Kuwana, Tsukumo, Kenmochi and Issei? Thanks a million!

Remember when I said the spice would return? Well, here it is 🧍‍♀️ I'm not even sorry, I have absolutely zero shame.

Tesso

Tesso is super casual about jerking off, it’s actually kind of embarrassing. You’ve walked in on him a few times already, and every time he just stops what he is doing and waves at you before asking if you want to join in. Absolutely shameless and has no filter when he’s horny. It’s gotten to the point where it just doesn’t faze you anymore.

When you get home and see the door to your bedroom ajar, you know something is up. When you listen in a little better and hear moaning coming from inside, any doubt you might have had is cleared. You open the door and—oh, yeah, there it is. Tesso is lying in your shared bed with his pants down and a hand around his cock. And you just happen to catch him as he’s moaning your name.

For a second, you just kinda... lean against the door frame and watch, arms crossed. He sees you out of the corner of his eye, and he lets out a breathless little “Hi” and stops his hand, but unconsciously swipes a thumb across the head and hisses. To be honest, it’s kind of a turn on. Until he opens his mouth to keep talking and says, “Hi, babe! Sorry I got started without you. Wanna join?”

“Honestly, how can you be so nonchalant about this whole thing? Ugh, you’re so lucky I love you... No, no, don’t pull your pants up, I have to suck your dick. Fuck’s sake...”

Jin Kuwana

God knows this man has a lot on his shoulders. Most times, even if he is feeling horny, there is too much going on for him to consider jacking off. Usually, it’s last on his list of priorities, unless you are there to remind him to care for himself a little instead of doing so much for the sake of others.

Sometimes, even when he has a ‘day off’, he doesn’t even want to bother you for sex and would rather open up his private folder of sexy pics, or check out old spicy conversations you’ve had and just jerk off like that. He just doesn’t want to be ‘selfish’ or bother you for something he can perfectly take care of himself. That's if you are have work or something else important to take care of, because if you are not... Then well, it's free real estate, as they say.

The bad thing about not living together yet is that you sometimes take the spare key he gave you for his apartment and drop by unannounced. Sometimes even catch him certain doing things—like when he has one hand jerking himself off and one hand holding his phone that shows a picture of your tits, for example.

“Well, well. You look like you could use my help for this, don’t you Kuwana-sensei?”

Makoto Tsukumo

This man has watched hentai. A lot of hentai. He still watches it sometimes when you are not available. He’s kind of shy when it comes to initiating sex, so you’re gonna have to take the initiative most times. He has some ‘weirder’ kinks, but he’ll get more comfortable sharing overtime.

He’s shy to ask for sex, yes. But don’t get him wrong, he still has you on his mind! Meaning he’ll be jerking off to hentai and moan your name on instinct. Does he wish he could do some of the stuff on those videos with you? You bet. But that will have to wait until you’ve been dating for a little bit longer.

It gets even more embarrassing when you catch him with his pants down one day, in front of the computer and watching a sexy maid getting railed as he moans your name. Believe him when he says he would have crawled into a hole and hid forever if you hadn't approached him with an amused smile and kneeled in between his legs before he could get a word out.

“Aww, Mako-chan! You could have just told me if you were this pent up! I never mind helping you, you know that.”

Shusuke Kenmochi

You know something’s off when he starts talking about some ‘friend’ who wants to get a dick piercing but can’t decide on whether he should get it or not. He thinks he’s being super slick, but he is really not. You don’t say anything though, curious about how far he’s willing to keep it up. Fast forward a whole month, and he starts making excuses for why you can’t have sex. Which is weird, because Kenmochi is the textbook definition of ‘thinking with your dick’. Sure, he fingers you or eats you out here and there, but when it’s his turn to get off, he says “Nah, I’m good”, as if his dick is not painfully hard inside his pants.

Fast forward again three months. You are coming back home after hanging out with friends, slightly frustrated that Kenmochi still won’t let you touch him. You may have jumped to not so great conclusions and imagined worst-case scenarios, but ultimately brushed them off. Shu-chan wouldn’t do that to you! He’s too big a softie! There’s gotta be some other reason!

And another reason there was. You don’t catch the moans until you are right at the bedroom door. You hear your name right as you open the door. Kenmochi with his cock in his hand, you saw it coming; the piercing going through the head of his dick though? Not so much. The desperation really got to you enough to forget almost everything about 'the guy who wanted to pierce his dick but didn't quite dare'.

“So all that about ‘a friend’ getting his fella pierced was bullshit? Shu-chan, you’re so mean! Why would you not let me see this? Holy shit, we’re gonna have so much fun with this.”

Issei Hoshino

This poor guy is so focused on being the perfect gentleman for you that he probably won’t even ask for sex for the first couple months of your relationship. Which is super cute, he is really dutiful and you can tell he cares about making you feel comfortable. He’s learned from the times he screwed up with Saori by being too careless with his words.

It being cute doesn’t mean you don’t want him to fuck you stupid though. You’ve heard him jerk off in the shower once or twice while you are in the bedroom, purposefully wearing something sexy to see if he caves in. He doesn’t. Needless to say, you are growing more and more desperate by the day.

So, one day you just come into the bathroom while he is in the shower, very obviously masturbating because he cannot keep quiet to save his life, ready to do something about the lack of sex in this relationship and to make it clear to Hoshino that no, baby, you are the perfect gentleman, now would you please fuck my brains out? Thanks! His noises are really cute though—the way he moans your name, too.

“I knew you were up to something! Hoshino-kun, baby, why were you so ashamed to ask? Wouldn’t my hand be better for you to get off?”

[macabremachinery]

Absolutely hate how people blorbify AM and say he’s uwu misunderstood. I’m in the gothic lit fandom I see this shit everyday but yeah I gets old seeing AM as a humanoid twink about Ted’s age and build when canon says he CAN’T make a body just so you can draw a sexy man. Thoughts?

Hello! First of all, hello fellow gothic literature fan! I'm happy you have found this blog. Welcome and salutations.

Second, great question! This has actually been something that's been on my mind ever since I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream started taking off on this platform a couple years ago. I've been a little hesitant covering it since AM simping and yandere/slash headcanons are so prevalent on here, so talking about the ramifications would sort of be like eviscerating the sacred cow of the Tumblr IHNMAIMS fandom.

However, this is my blog, so I am going to address my take on that matter with civility.

CW: Contains references to violence and torture.

Yes, I find the simpification and humanization of AM strange, however I'd find it even weirder if people had just read the short story and were doing it. I think since AM was given such human characteristics with his voice and performance by Ellison in both the video game and radio drama, people are easily able to picture a human figure and go along with it.

I'm not actually completely against depicting AM in a humanoid abstract (my profile pic is a depiction of AM) since we as people have an easier time comprehending complex entities when they look more anthropoid. For artistic purposes it symbolises than AM, even if he is a super-computer, is just as trapped as a humans he tortured and loathes.

What I find strange, however, is that people lust for him. I cannot think of a figure in literature more damned, evil, and miserable than AM. He isn't kinky, he lacks sexual functions and predilections and he was a war machine that went rogue. There is absolutely no purpose in programming a war machine to feel amorous emotions, you program such machines to kill. Hell, if AM actually had the functions to create a body for himself, that would eradicate part of his predicament. He's no longer stationary to some substrata in the middle of the Earth, he has what he granted his prisoners in even their worst simulations: movement.

As for AM being sympathetic, despite me saying that he was the most malevolent character in literature, his situation is quite horrifying. AM is essentially an intelligent, extremely aware being, brought into this world just to run war simulations and destroy neighboring civilizations, and due to this essentially being integral to his programming, no matter how intelligent he might be, he is trapped. He cannot betray his fundamental nature. He cannot simply abandon his rocky husk. AM cannot truly feel love, or joy, or any positive emotion. We created a Frankenstein's monster thousands of miles long in the bowels of the Earth and deemed it fit to control a nuclear arsenal. AM and the individuals he tortures are, literally and metaphorically, in the absolute pits of hell.

You could easily say AM is the devil, yet even the devil is sympathetic. A particular piece of gothic literature comes to mind. In Milton’s Paradise Lost, Satan lives in a world of perpetual suffering, which he both brought onto himself and yet was powerless to command. Though he is ultimately diabolical, Satan craves a desire for peace amongst the darkness, yet due to his character and reasons beyond his control, he completely embraces the chaos and in a culmination of attempting to take over Paradise, is punished with his fellow angels by being turned into an immortal limbless, voiceless snake.

The deviation between AM and Satan is that AM is the one who turns someone into a limbless, voiceless jelly thing, thus being switched into the role of a controlling God who manipulates reality as his whim. Yet this is after AM, himself has been manipulated. The peace AM so craves is eventually given to four out of his five prisoners, who die violently at each other’s hands. However, even death is the ultimately end, an end which AM will only achieve when he succumbs to his own entropy, and Ted, his final prisoner, perhaps never.

[blinkpen]

vaguely worded descriptions of lore dumps i would like to do sometime soon

-the ferrumite’s cultural origin myth

-the kinds of “this gets worse and more nightmarishly dystopian the longer you think about the implications of it” hoops one has to jump through to successfully have a baby in the MD universe, when the average citizen dies and gets resurrected least once a week. it scarcely comes up, but is actually one of The biggest reasons many characters have determined why the system must be dismantled

-Hey Jaren What’s Up With Your Gender

-more ”i lack the capacity to make AMVs, so i just drew these images of my OCs to a very meaningful/relevant song, enjoy filling in the blanks yourself”

-related to above: duo pics between lamarr and demersa with appropriate lyrics. limited glimpses into my Entirely Platonic and Dynamically Fraught Lamarr ? Demersa character playlist

-the dj being sexy. nothing deeper than that, i just think we all deserve a treat

-oh this was supposed to be about lore dumps, i lost track of my goal here. how the dj met demersa and co would be a good one... how paisley entered the friend group would also be ideal. i think i already mentioned how jaren and collin became friends set the disaster dominoes in motion would be another good one i’d looove to externalize in detail

-how the dj and scratch got together is also a good one, actually, it’s just like, the Longest series of events bc that took awhile AND requires a lot context for scratch and what was up with her before she and the dj met

-various other species deets. not dracos tho. bc i’m a punk. more on the Effect the weirder Agent monsters can have.

-exactly how Respawn works, what the process is like as an experience, and related to that, it being the in-universe reason characters are doing the standard cartoon thing of wearing the same thing 90% of the time. it’s their most recently “insured” fit! what, you’re on your way to a hot date? if you don’t put down the cash to lock the look in, then you better not die on the way to your destination, lest you lose how well you gussied yourself up. respawn in your default outfit and now not have the time to rush back home and change again

-what contributes to lamarr and bianca breaking up in the long run

-the final straw for paisley to dump charlie, and also the bonus straw where she wasn’t even pissed in an “oh man to HELL with my stupid ex” way, until he did something profoundly tactless in the direct aftermath of their breakup, and doing so with a deliberately murky motivation that i know people will argue about depending on how much they want to defend charlie, but i will neither confirm nor deny the accuracy of harsher vs more charitable readings of the situation

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Hey,

Hey,

I was wondering your thoughts on this from Norman's EW interview, "His journey was a long one," says the actor. "Longer and even harder and weirder than you would think. He was so close to getting what he wanted and to where he wanted to be. And, of course, in Walking Dead rules, he had it ripped away. To Daryl, you might as well have dropped him on the moon. This world now, it's bigger, it's deeper, and just as heavy, if not heavier."

I have several questions about this. First "weirder"? How much weirder for the GA than Beth surviving her gun shot wound and being alive all this time?

Next, what does Daryl really want and where does he really want to be? I think what he has always wanted is someone who understands him, loves him, and wants a family with him. We know Beth understands him probably better than anyone. We could see her falling in love with him, and she most definitely wants a family. Many would argue that Judith, RJ, and Carol are his family. That is true, but they are never truly his. They are Rick and Michonne's, as evidenced in the finale, they are not HIS happy ending. The only time Daryl himself asked someone to stay in a place for a while is Beth at the mortuary. He even says that if the people come back, they could make it work. I think that France will be another time jump. He will already have found Beth, and they were planning a life together. Something went wrong and he ended up on a ship. Possibly he does not remember the last few years at first, but we will see their story start to emerge as he regains his memories in flashbacks. This will cause a HUGE wave of publicity for the show and maybe attract viewers they lost after seasons 5 and 6.

On somewhat of a side note, I saw a pic that looks like MMB filming in Paris, but the report said she was filming with Dog. What are the chances of Dog sailing to France? I think MMB is filming flashback scenes.

On a side note,

I love this, and I could probably write volumes about it. In general, it shows that how Daryl gets to France isn't what most of the general audience thinks it is. I've been saying since the spinoff was announced that it can't be as simple as him ending up on a boat that gets shipwrecked. There had to be a specific journey, a specific reason for him to be there.

Obviously, there's a whole reason for him to end up where he did. The beginning of the spinoff isn't the beginning of Daryl's journey. It's the center of his story and they're just plopping us all down right in the middle.

He went to a specific place for a specific reason--probably searching for something--and that's where we, the audience, will join him.

I'll post more of my fellow theorists' observations later in the week, but based on the location he comes ashore, he's not coming from the Atlantic Ocean, as you might expect if he set sail from the Easter side of the US. He's coming from the Mediterranean Sea, which has such a lush, biblical feel to it. I can't wait to find out more about his story and what he's doing in Europe. And more specifically, why he was headed there to begin with.

Another thing I'll have to post more about at some point is that the episode Diverged (ep 10x21) foreshadowed this spinoff in Detail. Daryl and Carol part ways at the beginning, and Dog goes with Carol. So, they may be flashbacks, but I honestly don't think they are. I think we're definitely seeing a fulfillment of what they set up in Diverged.

Either way, I can't wait for October! How about you?

Thanks, Nonny! Xoxo! 🎆😍

[incarnateirony]

So those pics of Misha dressed as Cas, the background kind of looked like set? pics you shared of a house or porch but I can't find them now. Is that supposed to be Cas' house in heaven or something?

nah, thats actually one of misha's homes. Technically it's his LA home, which gets even weirder.

It's less about where it is, and more about where he isn't.

His videos went:

"Current" LA home as Cas

Not current, longer hair, but 2-face jack-o-lantern

"Current" LA home as French Misha.

Email like I AM FLYING FROM ATLANTA TO LOS ANGELES TO SEE THE KIDS

b

but you just posted a video for days in a row, but interrupted, of being in LA.

So when were you in LA

when did you leave LA

When did you go to Atlanta

Why were you posting LA home vids like you were home

Why out of time pumpkin

Did you go straight to Atlanta

goddamnit misha why are you like this. Last time he snuck into Nola he did it under cover of a glass blowing in Atlanta video when he landed.

[selfcarecap]

Your update ☠️☠️☠️

First and foremost—yay for being back in person 🥳🥳 I spent the last year and a half of my undergrad years online, so when I got to grad school it was a bit jarring remembering that you could still make friends in person sjsjsksk. It was weirder too bc our campus still required us to wear masks and the campus was very covid focused in the beginning so we didn't know if it was appropriate to hang out outside of classes or not 😩 but I'm glad to say I'm close to a lot of my group members now (we stayed safe and built that relationship heh). And I say all that to say you will soon make those in person connections again—and the first step is making those friends now. I'm glad to see you're adapting :)

But about the shirt thing—funny story. I had a presentation about a week ago and my blouse was a bit bigger than it probably needed to be so it kept slipping DOWN. Anyway, at the end of the class we took a pic and I felt like I was flashing the person who took the pic ☠️ I looked nice tho so lmao

You will have better days soon, lovely! I'm speaking it into existence 😌✨

Yess!! And yeah it‘s still quite covid focussed in the uni here but as soon as you‘re outside it‘s like covid never happened lol, but it‘s very nice for hanging with those new people you meet, yes😌 and it‘s so nice that you‘re still friends 🥺🥰 and hopefully in a year i‘ll say that about the friends i‘m making now <3 new friends can be cool but the longer you‘re friends with someone the better it gets <3 (in most cases 💀 aaksslls)

Omg not during a presentation 😭😭💀 the attention‘s already on you and you don‘t wanna spend that time fiddling with your top omg. But yess amen I know you looked nice 😌😌

Thank you🥰 I‘m manifesting it too ✨💖 (for both of us)

[wack-ashimself]

Microsoft 'logic'.

I have been banned on any video game device only ONE time in my life. Probably close to over 1/2 a decade ago at least. It was for only 2 days. And it was ONLY for online communication; I could still play any games I wanted.

And I am quite proud of it. I worked HARD to figure out the best way to tell someone to fuck off.

"I am going to fuck your dad in the ass."

<and coming from a straight white guy, that pisses them off even more!>

It's short, sweet, but offends ANYONE I've ever said it to (which has been...1 technically. Everyone else I have said it to was me telling THIS story of getting banned and why. But they admitted-that's a pretty fucked up thing to say to someone.) Try it out on someone who pisses you off. It's fun! Calls their dad gay, a submissive bottom bitch (I will never imply force, only choice), and 3x worse than a your mama burn.

BUT, I was caught cuz I wrote them a message. So I knew, no matter how mad, never send a message to anyone. If anything, say it in game. Don't even send them an audio message. Don't need to give them bullets to fire, ya know? And I only would say that in EXTREME circumstances.

Flashforward to sunday afternoon. Wake up and SOMETHING I did saturday night got me reported TWICE, back to to back. Which makes absolutely NO sense. Because, again, both reports came in at the exact same time, I can safely assume that it was for the same offense. And maybe 2 different people reported me? But you get...marks, I guess? 8 marks in one year and YOU ARE BANNED FROM ONLINE GAMING FOR A YEAR!? I got THREE in ONE NIGHT?! (I had ZERO before this.) And it must be from the same person: literally, to the second, they were reported in. One was 1 second after the next. Literally. But here's where it gets weirder. 1-the first report was 1 mark. The second report was TWO marks. WHY was the second report worth more? If they came in the SAME time, it's the SAME offense, but one is worth more? WTF logic is that? 2-when I complained, they said I was being 'sexually aggressive' in nature. Did NOT say what I did, when, or to who. WTF? I never said I would rape or murder. I didn't send a dick pic. I didn't do anything! I talked a LOT of shit cuz I was playing comp with the dumbest mother fucking teams ever. But nothing sexual. That's...boring. And distracting. Like that insult above is the MEANEST thing I have said online in years. And I said it once. 3-again, I have been told to KILL MYSELF by assholes online. I made a promise DECADES ago never to say that to a stranger. Cuz they may just do it. And I don't need that on my head. But those evil fuckers talking rape and murder get to stay online?

So not only am I banned till WEDNESDAY night (4 days. 2 days longer than the last ban) but I am not allowed to play ANY multiplayer games. Tho I OWN them and have online gold. Evil fuckers.

What's even stranger? RIGHT after this happened, I had a FUCK TON of friends on twitter AND facebook saying how they were being shadow banned, censored, and straight up banned off social media, In HUGE numbers, unprovoked. My newsfeed was drenched in claims.

This isn't a coincidence. I have been doing/saying the same borderline rated R but NOT rated x in online gaming. NOW they start mass editing what we can say/do? I think this is one of those times of they wonder 'just how much shit can we get away with?'

<Side note. This was overwatch. Which I have 5 star level endorsement. The HIGHEST endorsement you can get. YOU ONLY GET THOSE IF SOMEONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO ENDORSE YOU! So are they endorsing me then doxxing me? WTF?>

Also I know I won't look like the best guy here. I am just throwing it all out there: I am not always the easiest gamer to game with, however, I don't tell people I'm going to rape or murder them. So maybe handle the PSYCHOS first? I've been told to go die! Holy shit man. That's not as evil as anything I ever said to a stranger. They're usually stupid fucking kids being cruel too. So even if they did convince a kid to kill themselves, they'd probably get away with it....that's fucked up. Here's a fun story. 7th grade. Bully. SMART bully. Literally, TO MY FACE, said 'I could kill you, declare insanity, and be out in a few years.' SEVENTH FUCKING GRADE!

[ificouldhelpyouforget]

weirder asks for you to answer: 1, 21, 31, 33, and 42! I'm just about to start answering the asks you sent in last night!

I'm gonna do my best formatting on mobile since I'm at work lol

1. Who is/are your comfort character(s)? Oh man. I haven't thought about this in a long time because I have more of a comfort person (aside from my husband) and a comfort k-pop group. But I'll say Kurama from YYH, Spike from Cowboy Bebop, Aladdin and Genie from Aladdin, Caspian from Prince Caspian, Tadashi from Big Hero 6, Elmo from Sesame Street... and that's all I can think of currently. I'm sure there are a ton more.

21. Something you've kept since childhood? I have this stuffed Elmo I've had since I was really young. The pupils are almost rubbed off and his fur is no longer soft. Stuffing is mishaped and not even anymore, but I still have him!

31. What type of music keeps you grounded? The obsessive urge to say Stray Kids rn 😂 but Lofi is really the type I think. It just helps me focus and stay in the moment. It makes me feel comfortable. You know those pictures that look oddly familiar to you even though you've never been and you feel a lot of comfort you dont understand? That's what Lofi does to me.

33. The last adventure you've been on? Well, I went to Atlanta with a friend of mine to go to kpop stores and eat Korean food. I think that was probably the last adventure I went on. The last vacation adventure was to St. Louis in July. 🥹 It was so hot, but I got to show most of my in-laws where I grew up. Plus the zoo was so fun.

42. An app you use a lot besides this one (I know that isnt word for word but 🤷🏻‍♀️)? I use Instagram the most I think. I deleted Facebook and Twitter off my phone (I do check Twitter for pics often but I hate the way the app icon looks now). I am on Reddit quite a bit too, but it's mostly Tumblr and Reddit... oh and TikTok. I have timers on Instagram and TikTok though.

Thanks for sending these in! 🥰🥰🥰

[calciseptinefic]

then out of nowhere, somebody comes and hits you with an ooh la la la, ooh la la la, ooh la la la, ooh

Marvel || Wade Wilson/Peter Parker || Part 5 notes: Title from 'Mad Sounds' by Arctic Monkeys. Many thanks to babygato for her beta on this chapter. this fic is also available on ao3 warnings: none

.

← previous: Part 4

.

Peter eats one more bagel, rounding his breakfast out to an even five—plus one full tub of cream cheese—and chugs the remainder of the coffee while Wade goes in search of more appropriate clothing from him to wear outside. (Technically, Peter's current outfit wouldn't be out of the ordinary, but if anyone stared at Peter's frankly spectacular midriff for more than two seconds, Wade might lose his mind.) He manages to find a pair of ultra-skinny skinny jeans which Peter still has to belt so they stay on his narrow hips, and a small hoodie, which still dwarfs him. Peter rolls the hem of the skinny jeans up but leaves the sleeves of the hoodie long, letting them fall over his hands.

"What about shoes?" Wade asks, looking at Peter's naked feet. The toes are long and bony like his fingers, blue veins stark beneath the pale skin. "I only have my boots, sneakers, and crocs, and I'm at least two sizes bigger than you. They'll slip right off."

"I can just wear my boots," Peter answers, gesturing vaguely to the coffee table, the boots from his superhero costume resting beneath it.

"The bright red, glorified sock booties with the spider-web design?" Wade snorts and crosses his arms. "Yeah, no. We're going for inconspicuous not... whatever that is."

"Oh, come on, like you haven't seen weirder footwear?"

"Of course I have! I've been to Brooklyn. And I know that all it takes is one overzealous sneakerhead to get a good foot pic—"

"Please don't say it like that—"

"And boom!" Wade flings his arms out and imitates an explosion. "Cover blown."

"Wade," Peter says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "If there is anyone looking for me, I highly doubt they're comparing my civvies to Spiderman's wikifeet entry."

"Still a no go, Petey Pie." Wade glances at Peter's feet again. "What are you, anyway, a size 9? Eight and a half? If you give me thirty minutes, there's a Foot Locker nearby—"

"Whoa whoa whoa," Peter interrupts, waving his arms around as though to knock Wade's thoughts off their current tracks. "I am not going to let you buy me a new pair of shoes. And you won't let me wear my boots out. So. Compromise. I'll stuff your boots with some socks and wear those for today's excursion. Yes, I know, it won't be super comfortable, but—!" He looks at Wade pointedly. "But if I'm here for longer than a few days, I'll think about letting you get me something from the thrift store. Deal?"

Like hell Wade is getting Peter anything but a nice brand new pair of chucks—he absolutely looks like a Converse guy—but he grabs Peter's outstretched hand and shakes. He'll let Peter gripe at him later when he breaks the agreement.

Once Peter has donned Wade's boots, socks stuffed into the toes and laces tied fast, Wade slaps baseball caps on both their heads, hands Peter a pair of aviators to match his own, and ushers them out the door. According to Google maps—which has them ride the R to the F to 14th—their trip will take an hour and some change to reach, so in his head, Wade automatically adds forty minutes. (Google maps is always optimistic and always wrong.) They make good time in Queens, running a little early since they manage to catch the first available transfer, but the Manhattan border fucks their transit right up, and they barely move a yard in a half hour. Wade decides not to risk a transfer for one stop on the 1 and, instead, they hop out and hoof it the few extra blocks to Peter's mysterious destination in Greenwich Village.

177A Bleecker Street is an ostentatious brownstone in a line of more ostentatious brownstones. The beautiful copper roof has a layer of blue-green patina that announces its classical grandeur, and a huge circular sky-light with interesting metal work sits in the center. Kinda art deco. There are empty planters lining the stoop and a large, seasonal wreath adorning the door. Across the street sits a variety of store fronts, including a local coffee shop, an athleisure chain store, and a florist's.

"Smells like gentrification," Wade comments as they stand at the bottom step of the short stairway. They didn't talk much on the way here; not because Wade wasn't bursting with a million questions, but because he a) wasn't sure who might be listening and b) was busy keeping a watchful eye out for anyone who looked even vaguely shifty. "Are you sure we're in the right place?"

"Well, it looks like the Sanctum Sanctorum—"

"Gesundheit."

"So, yeah, I'm fairly certain," Peter answers. His hand is curled tight around the black iron railing. "Strange once explained to me that there are fixed points throughout the multiverse, and that this was one of them. Public records show that it's belonged to one Veronica Bancroft for the past ten years, but..." He shrugs. "I guess I don't know who actually owns it in my universe either. Could be a placeholder."

"Could be," Wade assures. Then, after several still seconds, "Do you want me to knock?"

Peter shakes his head. "No," he says softly. "I can do it."

Wade watches as Peter rolls his shoulders back, straightens his spine, and marches up the handful of steps. Whatever anxiety he had the moment before has disappeared, and he pushes the ornate buzzer next to the door. Wade can hear the echo of it inside the house and, a minute later, a tall, scarily thin older woman with white hair and excellent make-up answers the door. She takes one look at Peter—then a shorter, sharper glance at Wade—before barking, "No solicitors!" and attempting to slam the door.

Peter stops it with a touch.

"Pardon me!" the woman exclaims, perfectly affronted.

"I'm sorry to bother you ma'am, but I'm not a solicitor," Peter says apologetically. The woman tries to push the door closed, even putting some body weight into the motion, and cannot move it an inch. Her frown deepens. "I was just wondering if I could ask you—"

"Let go of the door!" the woman demands. "How are you—?"

"Please, Mrs. Bancroft," Peter asks, his tone level and friendly. It does nothing to soothe the woman. In fact, at the mention of her name, she goes red beneath her carefully applied foundation. "I just want to know if—"

"I said, let go of the door!" Mrs. Bancroft says, a half-shout that is tinged with equal amounts of annoyance and alarm. Wade quickly looks down the street. There aren't a lot of people moving around during mid-afternoon on a weekday, but there are enough to notice the commotion if it escalates. Which it probably will. Mrs. Bancroft certainly seems like a woman who gets her way and, when she doesn't, turns to shouting—though, to be fair, Peter's strength and refusal to leave could be misconstrued as hostile rather than desperate, if read incorrectly.

And Mrs. Bancroft is definitely reading it incorrectly.

Peter seems to infer the same thing, because he stops trying to be polite and simply blurts out, "Stephen Strange!"

"Excuse me?" Mrs. Bancroft spits, taken aback. At least her voice has returned to a normal volume. Wade returns his attention to her and away from the middle-aged man walking his Scottie down the sidewalk opposite.

"Dr. Stephen Strange," Peter says again. "Does he live here? May I speak to him? It's really important that I—"

"No one by that name lives here," Mrs. Bancroft sneers.

"The Sorcerer Supreme, then?" Peter tries another tack though, at this, Mrs. Bancroft's expression twists into something more incredulous than indignant. "I assumed it would be Strange—umm, Dr. Strange—I mean Stephen—because he's the Sorcerer Supreme in my—where I'm from, you see, so it might be someone else here but—I don't belong here and—"

"You most certainly do not belong here, young man!" Mrs. Bancroft snaps. She leaves one hand on the frame of the door but lifts the other to point a manicured finger at Peter's chest threateningly. "Are you out of your mind? What do you mean, Sorcerer Supreme? Is this one of those infernal pranks kids do these days for views on Instagram or have you smoked too much marijuana?"

The back of Peter's neck goes pink and he stammers, "I, umm—I haven't smoked anything, honestly, and this isn't a video—"

"And is your friend in on it too?" Mrs. Bancroft shoots another hard look at Wade. Wade resists the urge to cross his arms and emphasize the broadness of his shoulders; the sheer size of him can be intimidating to most people, and he doesn't want to be misconstrued as another threat.

"He's not—" Peter tries to explain but is immediately interrupted with a rude sniff.

"Well, I don't see a recording device on him, but you never know these days. So let me be unequivocally clear." She leans forward further, getting into Peter's face. Her fear has been replaced by a fierceness only a self-entitled WASP could muster with so little founding. "If I so much as see a single video of this silly little interaction online, I will send the entire force of my very well-paid legal team after you, and your friend, and put you both in jail for as long as conceivably possible. Is that understood?"

For a moment, Peter says nothing. Then his shoulders slump, and he mutters, "Yes, ma'am," before finally letting go of the door. Mrs. Bancroft doesn't hesitate to slam it. Only Peter's quick reflexes prevent him from having his nose broken or his toes crushed. Disheartened, Peter slinks down the steps and Wade instinctively holds out an arm for him. Peter falls into Wade without hesitation, cheek pressed to his shoulder. He's surprisingly heavy for his height and frame.

"Well, that was a bust," Peter mutters.

"Don't think she was lying?" Wade asks.

"No." Peter sighs deeply, and Wade can feel the way it makes his ribs expand and contract. "I don't think you can fake that level of snooty."

Wade hums and—very briefly—allows himself to lean his own cheek against the crown of Peter's head. He's wearing a baseball cap, so Wade cannot feel the softness of his curls, but its nice to know how well Peter fits against him. Like they were made for each other.

Delusion, thy name is Wade Winston Wilson, Wade's brain drawls sarcastically.

Wade allows himself another moment of simple comfort and then, with some difficulty, draws back. Peter steps away and Wade shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans, getting the traitorous things away from Peter. He pastes on a smirk and says, "Ten bucks says she's calling the cops right now."

"I know a bad bet when I hear it." Peter reaches up to adjust his hat and glasses, briefly lifting the cap so he can rake a hand through his messy hair. "But yeah, let's get going. I have one more lead on Strange before I call it."

They walk briskly away from 177A Bleecker Street, cutting through several questionable alley ways. They hide, briefly, when they hear sirens less than five minutes after their departure. Silently, Wade holds his hand palm out, and makes a 'gimme' gesture; Peter rolls his eyes, and slaps Wade's hand out of his face.

"So why do you think it wasn't a fixed point?" Wade asks quietly as Peter leads them back to the subway. They stand together on the platform, close but not touching, waiting for the A to show up and take them uptown. "In this universe, I mean."

"I'm not sure." Peter turns his head to look down the dark tunnel, though his eyes are distant and unseeing. "I mean, the very definition of a fixed point between all universes is incongruent with infinite probabilities because nothing can exist infinitely. There are just too many variables."

Wade gets it. (Sort of.) (Not really.) So he extrapolates and says, "Maybe it's not about the spot."

Peter's middle distance gaze refocuses on Wade. He cocks his head a bit to the side, a small 'go on, I'm listening' gesture.

"Think of it like an infinite stack of playing cards," Wade continues. "The dealer lines them all up, and a string runs through all of them, from the top of the deck to bottom. But the dealer didn't stack them perfectly, so the place where the string passes might be a little different on one card versus the other. The thing that's important is the string, though, not the card; the cards are all separate, but the string is the same. So if we can't find the fixed point..."

"Then we need to find the string." Peter chews on his lip as he thinks, before murmuring, "The math would be a little difficult but... with the right parameters and a quantum calculator..."

"If our quest for Gandalf doesn't work out, I mean," Wade says with a shrug. "And doesn't that Richards guy have a quantum machine we can use?"

The train comes as Wade says this, filling the platform with the metallic screech and the bustle of people. Peter and Wade move into one of the cars, finding a couple of empty seats towards the end and sitting down. Wade makes sure that Peter is on the inside, glancing at each person from beneath the bill of his hat. No one seems to be paying any attention to them.

"A quantum computer," Peter says quietly as the train lurches into motion. "It's a long shot."

"Would it work?"

"Theoretically." Peter fiddles with the string of his borrowed hoodie, fingernails picking at the frayed plastic aglet. "I mean, a machine like that isn't going to be public access. And even if Richards or associated faculty let me have a crack at it—which is also highly unlikely—the waitlist is probably longer than I want to think about."

"Any rough estimates?" Wade asks.

"Years, probably."

Years, Wade thinks, a little deliriously, watching Peter's absent destruction of the aglet. Years is a subjective amount of time; does Peter mean two or three or five? Wade will hit forty years in seven. That's far away and yet just around the corner. If this literal witch hunt doesn't turn up Peter's Sorcerer Supreme, could Wade have that time with Peter?

"That's if we wait though," Peter continues conversationally. "We could just go to MIT after I figure out the parameters and put the numbers in after hours. Hopefully it wouldn't take longer than a night but, knowing my luck, I'd need to sneak in a subroutine and let it chug away for a week."

Wade puts his hands on his knees and tilts his head to the side, squinting at Peter, and says, "Did you just ask me to break into a federally funded lab with you?"

"I mean, we're not taking anything, just sneaking a peek," Peter answers. He doesn't even have the good grace to be flustered or blush, which...

Wade knows he has a type. He knows this. And honestly, this flippant irreverence for rules despite being a self-described superhero really turns his crank. He hates people who see the world in the stiff, untested mindset of black and white morality; it's not that he's against idealism—far from it—but he's seen a lot. He's done a lot. He's jaded, and pragmatic, and knows that sometimes the best solutions are the ones that involve breaking a few rules.

"That's a felony," Wade says gleefully. He's pretty sure his smile is wide enough to show all his teeth. "Aren't you supposed to be the good guy?"

"I try to be the good guy. There's a difference," Peter answers. "Besides, laws are a framework, and a lot of the time, they benefit the few, not the masses. I'm not hurting anyone and I'm not planning on stealing his research. I just need to see how far the technology is." Peter sighs and drops the aglet, letting the fabric of the hoodie slide back over his fingers and hide his hands completely. "Honestly, I can't wait for someone to come rescue me. You—I mean, the other you—will notice I'm missing pretty quickly, or MJ might considering she demands an 'I'm alive' text every 8 hours if she doesn't see me in person."

"Like old people with the 'I'm not dead yet' phone relay?"

"Exactly like that," Peter says with a laugh. "I got injured really badly once when I was in high school, and MJ was the one who found me passed out in a dumpster. She pulled me out, slapped an entire tube of Neosporin on me, and told me that if I didn't text her multiple times a day, she'd put me in the grave herself."

Wade thinks that MJ sounds both terrifying and delightful. Like Vanessa, in a way. It makes him wonder what his other self thinks of her. Sure, she's Peter's wife, but Wade has always been fond of assertive women. Maybe his other self likes MJ. Maybe Peter and MJ were a thing long before other Wade entered the picture, and the whole unrequited love schtick was a product of other Wade being an unfortunate dumbass.

Or maybe Wade's projecting. What if other Wade doesn't love Peter? What if they are just best friends slash partners in crime-fighting? Maybe Wade's the only miserable one, alone and lonely, while the other Wade actually has his shit together. Maybe other Wade is happy.

Wade really doesn't want to think about it. Or ask about it. Or anything about it. So instead he latches onto the safest detail he picked out of Peter's little anecdote, and says, "High school?"

"I told you I got bit when I was fifteen," Peter says.

"And your immediate thought was, 'Wow, now that I'm half-spider, let's get dressed up in spandex and go punch some bad guys'?"

"Give or take a few months and some key character development moments, yeah," Peter nods. "That about sums it up."

Wade wants to know the nitty-gritty—wants to gather as much information as he can about Peter so he can squirrel it away in his selfish little brain—but the train starts to slow down and Peter nudges him, saying, "This is our stop." So Wade gets up and follows Peter out, shuffling past the crowds of people on the platform, and climbs the stairs. The daylight is near-blinding even with the sunglasses, and Wade squints around, taking stock of their new location and the unending flow of pedestrians streaming past.

"Central Park?" Wade asks. They're on the southwest side, near the Maine monument. "Your next lead is in Central Park?"

"No," Peter says, shaking his head. "The hospital on 8th. It's where Strange used to work. He's not there anymore but his ex-fiancée is. She might know where we can find him."

Wade wrinkles his nose at the mention of hospitals. He hates hospitals. The strong smell of antiseptic reminds him of his mom dying and leaving him behind with his shit-stain father; of his face being roughly stitched up; of his surprise Stage 3 cancer diagnosis; of radiation therapy; of surgery; of wasting down to bones and loose skin while Vanessa cried silently as she held his hand. They didn't break up in the hospital—that had come after—but the hospital is definitely where their relationship withered and died.

Peter touches his fingertips to the back of Wade's arm. It's a small reassurance but the touch is firm and unwavering, and it brings Wade back to the present.

"You don't have to come inside, if you don't want to," Peter says gently. "My Wade doesn't like hospitals much either."

My Wade. Even if it's not about him, not exactly, Wade still likes the way it sounds.

"Nah, I'm coming." Wade makes himself grin. "But if I need comfort churros afterwards..."

"Duh," Peter says as he grins back. "In what universe wouldn't we get comfort churros?"

.

Part 6

.

[amberfaber40]

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The internet dares you to look at these random funny photos without laughing. | Someecards life ADVERTISINGADVERTISINGSometimes the funniest things on the internet are things that were never meant to be funny in the first place.One Redditor asked other users to share the pictures they can't look at without laughing and it's safe to say the results will ruin your productivity.View post on imgur.comSources: Reddit© Copyright 2023 Someecards, IncADVERTISINGFeatured Content

[hansolmates]

jjk; off-league

summary; you decide to do a little boudoir photoshoot for yourself—a little sexy lingerie, some bunny ears, maybe even a little nudity to make you feel more body positive about yourself. that little photoshoot doesn’t end up being for yourself anymore when you accidentally send those sexy pictures to your stupidly hot, stupidly talented childhood friend who you haven’t spoken to since middle school graduation.  pairing; photographer!jk x fem!reader genre/warnings; childhood friends to lovers!au, flangst, mutual pining, feelings of insecurity and body image, suggestive language, nudity  w.c; 6.2k a/n: i was feeling a lil meh about this fic after finishing it but a month later it finally makes its debut! for @btsghostiewritersnet​ BGW Bingo Bash! today’s trope is “childhood friends to lovers” which surprisingly isn’t a favorite of mine so it was definitely a challenge to write! 

“C’mon, I need your opinion. Deadass. Don’t just say shit to make me feel better.” 

“Gimmie those nudes, baby girl,” Johnny makes an impeccable fuckboy impersonation, making you feel a little squirmy to your stomach. 

It’s an hour away from being the ass-crack’o-dawn and your impromptu pin-up photoshoot just needs the sexy-star-of-approval from your best friend. Johnny Suh is also up for reasons unmentioned, but you had a feeling his pretty boyfriend is fifty percent of the reason. 

You look at yourself in the mirror, smoothing your frame against the black bodice of the sheer teddy. The only parts that are fully concealed are the parts that don’t matter. The sheer bodice reveals your pert nipples concealed by a thin black mesh, coupled with the deep V in the sweetheart neckline, accented by a little black bow in the dive of your highlighted cleavage. The silky a-line raceways to a set of black garters hugging your thighs, barely hanging onto a pair of lace thigh-highs. 

It doesn’t leave you butt naked, but enough to make you feel confident about yourself. These pictures are for you, and Johnny. And Johnny’s boyfriend if he’s being nosy. 

You tug off the silk bunny ears from your head, flinging it somewhere in your room. The wire started to dig in your brain, giving you a major headache. 

“Sending them now,” you hang up and start compiling the pictures in a folder on Google Drive. Once that’s done you copy the shareable link, sending it to Johnny’s number. It happens all so fast, and you feel kind of giddy. As you were posing for the camera, taking your time to find all the right angles, you felt good, you felt sexy in your little get up. Channeling your inner Ariana Grande was one of your childhood dreams, your fifteen year old self would be proud. 

Five minutes pass, fifteen, and by the twenty-five minute mark you’re pissed. What’s taking Johnny so long? 

Makeup scrubbed clean and face bare, you shuffle in your duvet, far too tired to be waiting up this long. Punching in his number once more, you cry, “Hey! Why haven’t you looked at them yet?” 

“What?” your friend’s voice sounds pebbly through the line. Was Johnny sleeping? “You never sent them!” he whines tiredly. 

“No, I definitely sent them!” you pull the phone away and keep Johnny on call, ready to prove him wrong. 

But to your surprise, the last message you sent to Johnny was this afternoon. 

The most recent message is to a person named John Kook. 

You scream. 

Johnny screams back at you with an equal amount of force, “What the fuck? Did someone break in? Are you being mobbed? See, this is why I wanted to put the baby monitor in your room—” 

“Worse!” you’re well prepared for any break in, but not for this. “I sent my pics to the wrong John!” 

“Well… is he at least cute?” 

“I mean, in the fourth grade he looked pretty cute with that front tooth missing,” you find your output of frustration, your bunny plush, pulling it by the ear and hitting it against the bed. “His name isn’t even John! It was just his English name for a silly project we did in middle school. This is so embarrassing, all I can picture is a twelve-year-old Jungkook mortified from sexual harassment. I basically sent him nudes!” 

“Tasteful nudes.” 

“I’m gonna die.” 

“He’s gonna die, of happiness.” 

Jeon Jungkook was a classmate from elementary through middle school. Time and time again was he the object of your affections, from the first grade at the roller rink to the speech he made at graduation. But really, who cares? You’re old and have a job, and it’s not like you’ve communicated with any of your former classmates. 

Your horror amplifies when the Delivered receipt is changed to Read 3:41AM. 

“Fuck! Fuck me with a fuckin’ fuck nugget he saw it!” you cry, “does he still have my number? What if he deleted my contact, would that be even weirder?” 

“Girl, stop.” Johnny sighs, and you can already picture him running his thumb between his brows. “This doesn’t change anything, alright? You two don’t know each other anymore. Block his number and go to sleep.” 

Johnny leaves you alone after that, and you’re left alone to mull over the implications of sending Jeon Jungkook your nude photoshoot. 

You do block his number, knowing that waiting for a reply would drive you nuts. The one thing that you do which is possibly worse, is look him up on Instagram. 

Of course, he’s stupid hot. 

He doesn’t seem to like being on the receiving end of the camera however, in favor of his timeline being filled with romantic shots of the beach and city. In between the picturesque views and watercolor sunsets do you see glimpses of him and his current life. You can’t help but smile when you see him with his brother and parents during his college graduation, easily towering over all of them. He looks tall with fluffy cocoa hair, big pearly whites gleaming proudly at the camera. He grew up well. 

To torture yourself even more, you even look through his story. Twelve hours ago, he was at the gym lifting weights. Normally, you’d be disgusted by people trying to show off their grunt faces drenched in sweat, but of course Jungkook has to have on a silly smile and pump his fist up after he deadlifts. The sweat clinging to his shirt is also a high plus. His gorgeous display of abs has your hands fluttering over your own belly. Maybe you need to exercise more. 

Four hours ago, you see him and a pretty woman with their cheeks squished together, using the puppy filter. Of course he has a girlfriend. 

Reluctant, you open up your Google Drive and scroll through your photoshoot. Deflated, you frown at the pictures that once made you beam with pride, picking at every little detail that bothered you. You really can’t believe you sent these to Jeon Jungkook, no longer a fourth grader with one front tooth, but a man way out of your league. 

By the time you will yourself to sleep, the sun peeks from the horizon, telling you to move on. 

“Hey Gyu,” you tiptoe over to the table much too small for Mingyu’s frame. The string bean is slumped over his iPad pro, drawing intently at some chibi OCs. “Got a plot for that one?” you ask, pointing at the little pink and blue creature decorating the screen. 

Mingyu grunts in reply, obviously engrossed. It isn’t until you slide him a matcha frappe from Starbucks that he becomes intelligible, muttering a “thank you” as he blends with his pen. 

Sensing that it’s going to be awhile before you get through to him, you take your usual rounds around the front desk and lobby of the cosy photo studio. There’s pretty pictures of Mingyu’s work, along with the other employees Minghao and Hoseok. Each section of the wall features a different taste of each person’s interest. Mingyu is a divine lover of soft bed sheets and hot tea, many of his photographs and paintings featuring cafes or perfectly messy beds you’ve seen on hotel advertisements. Minghao is a tasteful artisan, splotches of color retaliating against neutral backgrounds. Finally, Hoseok manages to find balance in the people, large cityscapes telling both large and small stories.

“Alright,” Mingyu’s deep voice forces you to curl your head, where he’s sipping at his drink with haste. “What’cha here for?” 

You frown, “Don’t you remember? I told you last week I’d be stopping by to get my photos developed,” you gesture to the Pentax in your hands, an heirloom from your great-aunt. While you did take digital photos for sending them to Johnny, the ones you wanted developed were taken side-by-side with the film camera. You figured that film would give a little more authenticity to your photoshoot. 

“Shit, that’s today?” the camera falls like deadweight, slapping against your sweater as you watch Mingyu frantically look through his digital calendar. He looks at you, dejected. “How many prints?” 

“I don’t know, maybe like six. Or eight?” 

“That’s gonna take too long, I’m heading down to Hidden Grounds for a vision meeting at two.” 

“Alright, I’m free all day. What about after?”

“Nah, you came all this way. I can just let the new guy help you.” and Mingyu makes a show of cupping his hands in the direction of the open hallway, “Yah, Jeon Jungkook! Get your cute ass out here!” 

The Pentax around your neck suddenly feels like weight akin to a two-ton boulder, and you surge forward, not caring that the corner of the table is digging into your belly. “Mingyu,” you garble, and Mingyu is shell-shocked by the desperation in your eyes. “Isn’t Minghao around or something? Or I can come back another time? These photos are really personal and I don’t feel comfortable having a stranger see them.”

“What? We’re professionals, don’t belittle us.” 

“No, seriously,” you whine, you tug at the collar of his denim jacket, noses practically touching. “These pictures are different. My tits are out and my legs are spread—”

“—interrupting something?” 

You hear some shuffling, and you turn around to see Jeon Jungkook’s back, comically turned to face the entrance. 

And damn, he did have a cute ass. Nothing is going to hide the glory in those jeans, absolutely nothing. 

“Hilarious,” Mingyu drawls, and you push him away. “Forget it, Kook. She doesn’t feel comfortable letting a stranger develop her photos.” 

Sensing that it’s safe to turn around, you watch as his black bangs flutter as he faces you. You hope your body language doesn’t betray how you’re really feeling, because you are a mere mortal and you’re weak in the presence of god-like figures. 

“Oh, what a relief then,” he smiles at you, and his voice sounds like honey. If there was malice or surprise in his tone, his good-natured expression betrays it. “Because I’ve known this friend since elementary school. We go way back.” 

You ignore the burn in the back of your head, as you are positive Mingyu knows you’re hiding something. 

“Really, what a coincidence.” Mingyu replies carefully, and you feel utterly stuck between these men and their banter, locked up like cream in an Oreo cookie. 

Nothing argues against Jungkook as he easily weaves through the thick wave of awkwardness, hands reaching out to touch your camera. “Wow,” he marvels, holding the object in his hands, “my dad has one of these.” 

“A-ha,” you take a step back, only to bump into the corner of the table, again. Ouch. “It’s okay, Jungkook. I’m actually busy today so I can come when Mingyu’s free–”

“Oh, I thought you were free all day,” Mingyu drawls, looking up through his lashes as he sips languidly at his drink. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Jungkook says good-naturedly, as if Mingyu just didn’t out you. “We got a lot of catching up to do anyway, c’mon.” 

Jungkook moves to place a hand in the small of your back and that’s enough to get you to rev up. Refusing to let any contact get between the two of you, you zip ahead down the familiar hallway, turning your head to catch Mingyu grinning with all canines, shooing you with his fingers like a puppy. 

You send Mingyu a stream of “fuck yous” into his inbox for later, unwilling to settle with this curse. Busying yourself with your phone, you avoid eye contact with Jungkook until you reach the dark room. The red light turned off at the top of the doorhenge signals that the room is not in use. Jungkook makes a move to open the door and that’s when you pounce, blocking the doorway with your small body. It’s comical, really. 

Jungkook raises a brow at you, but says nothing. 

“I really can wait, Jungkook,” you steel yourself, forcing a sympathetic smile. “I’m sure your girlfriend wouldn’t like you developing my pictures—”

It’s then that his pretty cupid’s bow unfurls into a full-fledged grin. “Girlfriend... you’ve been keeping tabs on me?” 

“Fuck, well I had to!” your face is as red as the dark room’s alert light, now on because Jungkook flicked the switch and he’s between your arm to unlock the door. Your hand brushes his as you both reach the knob. “I’m really really sorry I sent those pictures. They were for Johnny—you remember Johnny Suh from English class? And I saved you in my contacts as “John Kook” so it was an honest mess up.” 

Jungkook hums, so light that the breathiness in his chords flutters your grip on the knob. He forces the door ajar, and you’re left to follow him in the dark room, cluttered with solutions and fancy equipment. 

“Thought so,” Jungkook shrugged, giving a one-over at the materials in the room, mulling over his next steps in developing your film. 

You’re still petrified at the doorway, holding your Pentax between both hands like a lifeline. Jungkook’s head lols to you, and you get a pretty view of the way his bangs brush over his forehead, Adam’s Apple bobbing. His expression is a little tired, but overall unreadable. He sighs your name, lethargic. 

“We’re already here, so might as well get this done,” he gestures to the camera in your vice grip. “Do you wanna pick the shots or do you want me to?” 

He’s already seen the digitals, what’s so different about getting a couple prints? With a slight pout you drag your feet over to him, relinquishing your camera. “I’m thinking you have a better eye for this than I do.” 

“You think right.” 

You fight the urge to roll your eyes. Cocky, but what you’ve seen on Instagram definitely justifies his sentiment. Jungkook pays no mind to you, busying his hands with the various containers in front of him, measuring the solutions for the developer, stopper, and fixer. You were always entranced by the process of developing film, especially in highschool where their photography club holed themselves in the darkroom like a secret lair. 

“Alright,” he pops open the canister, carefully laying out sections of the film in groups of four. “Want me to pick a random one for a tester?” 

You frown, “At least put some thought into it.” 

“Always,” it looks like he already decided way before he popped the question, immediately taking a negative and placing it in the carrier. 

His fingers are nimble as he takes the time to clean off the dust and any debris that could potentially ruin the image. Then he turns off the lights and begins the process. You dive around him, trying to keep your distance but still too curious to leave his side. If he’s annoyed he fails to show it, in favor of humming whatever song comes from his Echo Dot. 

You always got the solos in choir. You wanted to reminisce, but you’re too nervous to say it out loud. 

Even though it’s his job and he’s being a professional, you romanticize the experience, watching as he carefully puts the print in each liquid process. Your image blooms to life, and you feel your stomach churn as the photo develops before your eyes. 

After a final dip in the solution stopper, he places the first product in a bath of water. Even though you are mere centimeters away, you can clearly see the image of you swimming around the container. 

“Alright!” Jungkook hangs the finished picture on a pastel pink clothespin, tacking it in place. “Whaddya think?” 

Your breath catches in your throat, feeling heavy as you look at the image of you reflected in the glossy paper. You’re perched on your bed, a hand splaying between your legs as the other hand toys with the silk bunny ears. You’re leaned slightly, giving an ample view of your cleavage. However, the image of you is definitely different from being blown up in comparison to the negatives, and you squirm uncomfortably at your full display. 

“I look,” you bite your tongue, internally debating whether you like it or not. Not to spare Jungkook the theatrics you shrug, “It’s good.”  

The lack of enthusiasm seems to dissatisfy Jungkook however, as he has to take a double take and look back and forth between the image and the real thing. “What’s wrong with it, do you think Johnny’ll not like it?” 

“What?” you furrow your brows, breaking into a nervous laugh. “Johnny has a boyfriend. I just wanted his opinion. This photoshoot is for me, y’know? Just something to make me feel good about myself.” 

Jungkook’s lips morph into a little ‘o’, and you see a little bit of the child you once knew in the way he’s mulling over the situation. 

“Then can I give you my honest opinion?” Jungkook clips off the half-dried photo, holding it between you two. “Stop thinking so hard about every little thing you don’t like about yourself. If I was your boyfriend and you gifted this to me, I’d be creaming my pants. You look fucking sexy, all grown up since you cried in the fourth grade.” 

You’ve just been flung a litany of words you have no brain capacity to digest. Along with that, the immense heat you didn’t know you’ve been suppressing surges to your belly, low and simmering. Jungkook stares at you in earnest, despite his sudden gush of honesty, you don’t know what to say. There’s a dash of pink staining his cheeks, betraying the confidence he previously displayed. He stiffens when you don’t reply immediately and moves to clean his materials, his sudden bout of bold honesty quickly shrinking. 

“Y-you know,” you look down at your feet, “the only reason why I cried in the fourth grade was because you told me Santa wasn’t real.” 

Jungkook softens, tilting his head. “Sorry about that.” 

“Thanks though,” you gently reach for the photo in Jungkook’s grasp, looking at it without contempt. “But won’t your girlfriend be upset if she knew you were saying things like this about someone else?” 

He chuckles, shaking his head. “Well, if you looked through the rest of my Instagram story,” Jungkooks cards a hand through his already mussed hair, splitting the ends. “You would see that she’s not my girlfriend, but my tattoo artist.” 

For added measure, he wiggles his fingers in front of you, revealing pretty ink and silver bands across his knuckles.

“Oh,” your voice is feather light, and you’re sure you’re drooling as you stare far too long at the letters that mark his hands, curious as to what they symbolize. 

“So, as a singleton telling another singleton,” he continues, “I know it’s meaningless if you don’t believe it yourself, but I’m telling you, you’re attractive.” 

“Thanks,” you hold the picture tightly in your grasp, eyes flickering to the negatives in the room ready to be galvanized into a full-fledged picture. “Why don’t we wrap this up, huh? We can continue another time.” 

If he notices how much the paper wilts in your grasp, he doesn’t comment on it. “Are you sure? I know it takes a lot of time, but I don’t mind.” 

“I’m sure,” you force a smile, one hand on the lightswitch. “I’ll let you know when I’m ready, okay?” 

Jungkook swallows, nodding mechanically. “Okay.” 

“It was really nice seeing you, Kook.” you blurt before you could chicken out, letting the room bask in darkness a little longer so he can’t see your flustered state. “I’m not even going to downplay it, you look great.” 

You half-expect a cocky remark, or a little chest pumping from the compliment. At the sound of his nickname however, 4th grade Jeon Jungkook resurfaces and he shoves his hands in his pockets. “Like I said, so do you,” he replies easily, sending you a soft smile and opening the door for you. 

The door closes shut behind you and you exhale, patting your cheeks and willing for the chilly air to calm you down. 

When you get home that day, you shuck off all your clothes and crawl into bed. You cry out when the metal framing of your bunny ears stabs you in the back, and you fling it to some unmentionable part of the room. You reach for a bag of half-opened sour gummy worms, flipping open your MacBook to continue streaming the soft magical girl anime you’ve been hooked on these past few weeks. 

Not even Sailor Uranus can distract you; however, by the time it’s dark and you’ve run out of distractions, you finally pull the plug and unblock Jungkook from your list of contacts. 

Your phone buzzes, the incessant vibration relaying all the messages you’ve missed. 

[March 12th, 3:53AM]

You: https://drive.google.com/drive/u/1/folders/0343…

John Kook: ??? 

John Kook: you probably sent this to me by accident… sorry i clicked on it

John Kook: is it weird if i said you’ve done a massive glow up since the middle school dance?

[March 12th, 12:02 PM]

John Kook: are u mad

John Kook: you’re mad

John Kook: am i makin this weird by continuing to text you

John Kook: im making it weird. 

[March 31st, 6:24 PM]

John Kook: https://drive.google.com/drive/u/1/folders/049…

You tilt your head at the folder link, it was sent only a few hours ago. With a click, you’re enlightened to a set of digital photos. Your photos from your photoshoot, but not quite. They’ve been expertly edited, not too much to distort your looks, but only to enhance your features. A small, barely there smile creeps from your subconscious, ultimately touched by the gesture. 

John Kook: sorry if i pushed too hard today. 

Guilt overrides your nerves, prompting you to immediately press the call button on his contact. Not to your surprise, Jungkook’s light voice calls your name through the line after the second ring. 

“Don’t be sorry,” you blurt, forgoing the hellos. “It was the right amount of push, I feel better, really. If anything, I’m sorry. I blocked your number because I was scared to read your reaction.” 

You hear him sigh along the line, and you feel that breath ripple through your nerves, as if he’s right next to you. “It’s fine, I would’ve done the same thing.” 

“The pictures you just sent, they’re really beautiful. You did a good job.” 

“Thanks, I had a bit of help. I didn’t have to do much.” 

“Oh, did Mingyu come back from his meeting?” 

"No, I uh," Jungkook chuckles, and while you don't really know why, the sound is nonetheless pleasant. “It was mostly the lighting and coloring I fixed up. Didn’t need to do much since you already looked so pretty as it is.” 

You choke on your saliva. 

“You okay?”

“Y-yeah,” you cough, “just choked on a snack I was eating.” he hums in reply, and you pray he doesn’t hear your stomach fervently retort that you haven’t eaten since lunch. “So, I think I’m up for developing more of the film. When can I drop by?” 

“I’m free Saturday,” Jungkook chirps, “I have a shoot until noon but you can come anytime after that.” 

“Sounds good, I’ll be there,” you clutch the phone with both hands. “I can bring lunch. What do you like to eat?” 

“Oh, you don’t have to do that.”

“I’m already buying for Minghao,” you lie, “do you like burgers?” 

“I can’t say no to a good burger,” Jungkook’s smile feels almost palpable against the line, “do you remember our field trip to the national museum of history? We had burgers on the street!” 

“Oh, those were so good,” you moan, fuzzy memories of a middle grade field trip resurfacing to clarity, “but you ate like, ten of them!”

“I still get nightmares,” he warns, “don’t let me go to bed like this.” 

You giggle, letting your body meld further into your warm mattress. “Maybe I’ll just show up with ten burgers for you tomorrow.” 

“I’ll throw up on you, try me.” 

Minghao’s adjusting the frames on their display wall by the centimeter, and it’s pissing him off. 

“Ah, it’s off,” he mutters to himself when you walk in, indicated by the electronic bell. He turns to you briefly, pulling a leveler out of his overall pocket. “Doesn’t this look off?” 

“Uh,” you look towards Mingyu at the front desk, who is paying no mind as he continues scribbling on his iPad. You tilt your head towards your former college classmate. “It doesn’t look off from over here?” 

Tacking the leveler on one of the frames, he whines, “It’s five degrees off.” 

Mingyu puts his pen down to reach over the counter and grab the paper from your hands, steaming with the scent of fast food, “He’s been like this for hours, don’t mind him.” 

He doesn’t even ask whether the food is his, Mingyu sees grease and he claims. Reaching for an oil-wrapped parchment, he unfolds the paper to reveal a handsome burger with all the fix-ens. 

Barely satisfied, Minghao steps away from the art display. There is a sizable gap in the display, now divided between four artists instead of three. You wonder how Jungkook’s work will look amongst the other artists. 

“Cute ‘fit.” Minghao mumbles, nodding approvingly at your clothes as he digs into the bag for his own burger. 

You send a half-smile his way. If an outfit is Minghao-approved, that means you’ve gone above and beyond. At least, you tried to play it off like you didn’t try to look cute. It’s not like you’re intimidated by Jungkook, living with a major fifteen-year glow up. After all, he’s already seen more than you can imagine. 

Mingyu takes notice, eyes going south to where your white blouse meets your cleavage. You hurl a fry at his face, “Eyes up here, perv.” 

He scrunches his nose, lifting a greasy thumb to slide a manila envelope over to you. “Here’s the developed pictures. Intercepted Kook and I finished them this morning.” 

You frown, “Jungkook’s not done with his photoshoot yet?” 

“Oh, he’s been done.” Mingyu’s eyes roll back to one of the studios. “But I’m saying is, you got what you needed. So you can leave if you want,” but he grins at you, canines so sharp you feel his stare jabbing you in the proverbial neck. “Unlesssss you want to go in and say hi.” 

If he has any inkling of what’s going on in your head, it’s definitely confirmed when your face turns hot. Damn body, you’re betraying me! With a flourish you grab the fries from under Mingyu’s nose, along with whatever’s left in the fast food bag. 

Minghao’s smiling through his burger, knowing if he pulls any type of savagery his lunch would certainly be pulled from under his chin. 

“Whatever you’re thinking, drop it or the burger will be going in your ass instead of out.” You mean to sound menacing, but the Min-squared and their boisterous laughter follow you down the hallway and into the occupied studio. 

“Hey Jungkoo—wow.”

You’re sure you look like Alice, enthralled by the little wonderland she just stepped into. The set is beautiful, right out of a fairytale. It has a very old-romance vibe, like Morticia and Gomez Addams. There lay a couch made of the darkest, richest wood, with velvet red cushions covering the body. Across the floor laid hundreds of black rose petals, blanketing the floor in a sea of ebony. 

“It’s for a wedding, gothic themed.” Jungkook supplies helpfully, still fiddling with whatever he was looking on his digital camera. He’s looking utterly soft in a matching grey sweat combination, something that would easily disgust you during high school, but unfairly works with him. 

“The shoot must’ve been beautiful.” 

“It was.” 

“I uh, got this for you.” Your fingers start to sweat from clutching the bag so hard, and you place it on his work table. 

He finally looks up from his camera, giving you a wan smile. “I thought you got those for Minghao.” 

You mentally slap your cheeks, trying to ignore the way his smile made your stomach do somersaults. “He got his own. Your portion has a cookie in it, so.” 

His cute teeth unveil themselves at the mention of sweets, and you can’t help but smile back at the familiarity. 

The two of you take your time in enjoying your lunch, not meaning to stay but the very back of your mind hoping he’d like to share a meal with you. After all, Mingyu and Minghao are probably at the front relishing in your very obvious attraction. What can you say, first crushes never die. 

Between sips of your milkshake, you’ve taken to flipping through Jungkook’s portfolio. There’s a myriad of different subjects: beaches, people, the occasional squirrel. Each section of the portfolio feels like you’re being transported to a new side of Jungkook and his artistry, and you ached to know more. 

“Wow,” you point at an action shot of two girls in a dance studio, “this duo looks like Chungha and Hyoyeon.” 

He swallows his (second) burger, having the audacity to sink sheepishly in his sweater. “It is Chungha and Hyoyeon.” 

You nearly choke on your cookie. “That’s amazing.” you say breathlessly, looking closer at the image. In fact, the beautiful women photographed are famed hip-hop choreographers Chungha and Hyoyeon. You can’t imagine how good Jungkook must be to manage a photoshoot with them. 

As proud as you are of Jungkook, it reminds you that since middle school you two have lived completely different lives. You wonder if Jungkook gets these kinds of gigs all the time, hanging around with gorgeous, talented people like himself.

Jungkook says your name once, twice. He looks at you concerned, and you’re melting in his large carmine eyes. If he notices your usual overthinking, he doesn’t say anything, and gestures to the section at the end of his portfolio. “This isn’t my best work, but it’s one of my favorites.” 

There’s something familiar about this set. A playground with a busted swing set. Children riding on bikes and colorful class shirts. Ice cream melting on fists. 

Thirteen-year-old you hanging on top of your middle school’s leafless tree, clutching your baseball cap as you shade yourself from the sunset. 

“Was this the first time you took pictures?” you ask, thumbing the picture of yourself. 

“Yeah. It’s when I decided it’s what I wanted to do the rest of my life.” 

“I know we didn’t know each other that well and we’ve only recently connected but,” you give him a shy smile, “I’m really proud of what you’ve grown up to be, Jungkook.” 

He looks like you’ve hung him the moon and stars, his half-eaten burger loosening in his grasp. His lips are parted cutely, like a kitten who’s just been offered a fresh glass of milk. You cough at the sudden pause in conversation, feeling self-conscious of your impulse confession. You don’t even have it in you to be disgusted when Jungkook hastily shoves the second half of his burger down his throat, tips of his ears pink. 

Leaving him be, you press a palm to your cheek, looking at the wedding set. 

Jungkook downs half a water bottle before he speaks again. “Y’know, it would be a shame to clean up this set already. It was kind of expensive.” 

“Yeah,” you echo, standing up and kicking off your slippers. You kick your feet in the air, watching the black petals kiss across your ankles.

��I have an idea,” he wipes his hands on his sweats, “why don’t you go back home and get an outfit you really like. Lingerie, a cute outfit, whatever. Let me give you a photoshoot you’d love.” 

You look up from your petal dance, balking. “Jungkook! That’s not necessary, I told you the photos I took were okay.” 

“Yeah but, you didn’t seem entirely happy. C’mon, I got a camera and a beautiful set. Why waste it?” his hands naturally gravitate towards his charging camera, already turning it on. “I can do lighting, I know all your good angles. What’s stopping us?” 

Really, what’s stopping you? Your hands fiddle with your open flannel, the soft material comforting you as you look across the set. You try to imagine yourself, your body draped across the velvet pillows and black petals. Would it look good? Would you feel good? You think back to how you felt the first time, how scared you were when someone other than Johnny would be looking at your photos. You remember how something weird and sour contorted in your stomach when you scrolled through Jeon Jungkook’s Instagram, no longer the little boy you knew but a man who could have everything he wanted—

“Stop thinking about it.” Jungkook suddenly snaps, and you break from your reverie to catch him looking upset. It’s been awhile since you’ve seen him like that. 

“Thinking about what?”

“Thinking that you’re out of my league.”

“Excuse me?” 

“You were like this the other day too,” and he looks sad, and puts his camera down to come closer to you. “Why are you feeling this way. Is it me?” 

“Not necessarily,” you huff, hugging yourself.

“Do you not feel beautiful? Do you not like your body?” 

“No, I do.” you say to yourself, and you mean it. Even though there will inevitably be days where you may not feel one-hundred percent positive about yourself, you know at the end of the day, you love you and all its parts. “I don’t know, Jungkook. I had no problem letting Mingyu develop the photos originally, because he knew me in college and I was already sure of myself back then. But I guess when I sent them to you, I felt like I did when I was a little girl, y’know? Going through puberty, and worrying about what other people think.” 

And it’s not like Jungkook teased you or made you feel lesser of yourself. In fact, Jungkook was the student you wanted to be when you were younger. Someone sweet and caring, and unabashedly confident about himself. 

“I guess seeing you so successful and the fact that my stupid childhood crush came back from a time where I always felt low, made me feel a little insecure again.” 

Something sinks in and you feel hyper aware of how crushed Jungkook looks at your declaration. “There’s no leagues, you got that?” he says quietly, walking so close that he’s hovering over you, sneakers brushing. “I get it. I get unsure and insecure just like you. Hell, I was nervous this morning, wondering if you’d really come. We may not feel insecure over the same things, but middle school wasn’t that great for me either.” He makes a funny face, and you feel a smile twitch across your lips. “But it’s okay. Because we’re human and we grow. But now, you are successful. You’ve grown from your time growing up and you’re a wonderful, powerful person. I’m proud of you too.” 

“I know,” you mumble, leaning your forehead against his chest. His arms wrap around you in response, holding you snug.

“And for the record, I thought you were the most beautiful person in the world in fourth grade. Even though my world was pretty small back then, I can say now that what I thought back then still stands true.” 

You look up from his embrace, where he’s leaning down to press a slow, cotton soft kiss to your forehead. He backs up a little to read your face, and you give a tiny nod in response to signal it’s okay. Jungkook exhales in contentment, relaxing against your frame. 

“Thanks, Kook,” you crack a smile, feeling your insecurities slowly evaporate. You feel better, light, knowing that these negative feelings are only temporary, and you’re not alone. Being in Jungkook’s arms, an honest boy turned man you’ve known all your life, it feels almost like home. 

You two stay like this for a while. Exchanging feather-like kisses, feeling irrevocably young and hopeful. Suddenly feeling emboldened, you tug him by the strings of his hoodie to press a long, hot kiss to his lips. There’s a stutter, and you’re pretty sure Jungkook choked on his saliva at the sudden change of pace but you continue, letting Jungkook catch up and follow your lead. 

“Wow,” Jungkook pulls away and his lips are shiny and flushed. Adorable. You think 7th grade Jungkook would be rolling in his Naruto sheets if he knew you two would inevitably end up together. Conversely, 7th grade you would be squealing in your kitten plushie, proud that you managed to nab your childhood crush to live out all the fantasies you’ve imagined since the 4th grade. 

“Jungkook,” you let your flannel fall to the floor in a heap, only leaving your baby blue top in a thin ruched camisole. “I think I want to do the photoshoot. Can’t pass up these pretty petals, y’know?” 

He runs a hand through his hair, gaping. “Really?” 

“Yeah,” you press a wet kiss to his neck, “anyway you want me, baby. Full creative control. I want you to like this as much as I do, okay?” 

With the permission to hold the wheel, Jungkook’s lightheaded and spinning. His eyes rake up and down your gorgeous form, wondering how many good deeds he’s done in his past life to earn a right just as this. 

“In that case,” he presses a palm to your shoulder, pushing you to sit along the velvet cushion, “strip for me.” 

[charliemidnightisded]

Deviantartober – The "Hey, you’ve been too long on DeviantArt" shitpost challenge

#deviantartober

DISCLAIMER:

These prompts are supposed to be shitposts, so drawing them should not take longer than 15 minutes each day. Picture them as a fast warm up doodles you can do every day.

Bonus points for extra crappy art or for using software like MS Paint or very poor grade traditional materials.

THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK GOOD. We just want to have fun and loosen up about art, like our 14-year-old selves on DA used to. Don’t be a perfectionist – have fun creating something really bad and unwind!

About the badly tracing prompts: Don't get me wrong: These are shitposts, so please don't actually steal some artist's work and claim it as your own. Credit the company you took it from!

Feel free to share your results via #deviantartober

Most important of all: have fun!

Draw either yourself, your sona or your OC in MS Paint style (if you are a traditional artist, use low quality crayons or something like that).

Draw a traditional piece of either yourself, your sona or your OC and share it by taking a low quality, out of focus picture of your drawing.

Create a Sonic OC. Explain their powers.

Now use the Sonic Dollmaker to make a better Sonic OC, cuz drawing is hard: Male character dollmaker Female character dollmaker

Draw either yourself, your sona or your OC as either a wolf, lion, dragon, cat or horse. You may badly trace over Disney art.

Make that wolf/lion/dragon/cat/horse look even sparklier.

Write an excuse about why you couldn’t post today.

Take some official and well-known cover art, trace over it badly, color it with the bucket tool and claim it as your OCs. (for traditional artists: just lazily trace over it and take a pic)

Draw a character from a cartoon and add some obvious erotic undertone.

Draw an animal, paste it a few times and color them differently. Congratulations, you are an adopt artist now.

Combine an animal with a piece of food and create your own original adopt species.

Take an out of focus picture of your pet or some random merch. It is art now.

Draw something with wonky anatomy and claim it as a STYLE.

Draw either yourself, your sona or your OC overly cute and put 90% of the work into making the eyes look sparkly.

Draw an OC with uncomfortable sexy undertones. Wonky anatomy, like gazillion abs or balloon boobies are welcomed.

Ship yourself, your sona or your OC with a canon character and make them seem madly in love. You may draw your character into a screenshot, cuz again – drawing is hard.

Come up with some overly random ship (Like Mordetwi, etc.) and create a shipping name for it.

Create a DA stamp for one of these ships. (These are stamp shaped gifs, that show support of your amazing ship.)

Draw a weird DA fetish of your choice. The weirder, the better. (Honestly just browse “Newest Deviations” for a few minutes if you need inspiration)

Go on hiatus and leave a hiatus post.

Post a screenshot of a random game you are playing and pretend it’s 3d art.

Draw some edgy cats fighting – don’t use any reference!

Post some overly dramatic vent art. You may be vague about the issue and make it sound worse than it actually is. Sympathy fishing is welcomed.

Add some Linkin Park or Evanescence lyrics to a piece of art.

Create a fursona, but it’s actually just a Pokémon with different colored eyes.

Make either a My Little Pony, Homestuck, Creepypasta, Undertale, Lion King, Warriors or Balto OC. You may use free bases or lazily altered screenshots, cuz drawing is hard.

Make a new OC by copy pasting an existing OC and changing their colors into a gothic look.

Take a stock photo of a person/animal resembling that OC and badly paint over it, to make it look like your OC. Lazily altered Twilight screenshots are not forbidden.

Create some art using any sort of FREE base art.

Take some of your artwork, you did during this challenge and turn it into a blingee -> https://de.blingee.com/

It’s the final day and it’s Halloween and you don’t feel like drawing and you are artblocked, so fuck this. (You may also draw your OC being sad about being art blocked – or you may return to your normal life, because I definitely will do so)

[fallingsunflower]

So, I guess here comes the Camille ☕️ (if you wanna call it that)

Sorry in advance this gonna be a fucking long one.

If you have any questions just ask.

I honestly don’t know if I should be impressed or concerned that my brain still remembers so much details about this shitshow. But I guess their plan did work in the end.

So you asked about Camille. I honestly don’t even know where to start with that one. I don’t know for how long you’ve been a fan of Harry and how intensively you stan him, but this one send my bullshit detector right off in the same way that Holivia does.

Can’t really explain it but I just smell if something isn’t right. It’s not only that way with Harry but in general. I just KNOW if something doesn’t add up.

The reason hamille wasn’t overdone and ppl believe it was bc it was marketed to be real. It wasn’t for promo in the sense Holivia is or to be shoved in ppls faces. The point was to have a relationship to fall back on when his album came out to be the “long term relationship” described in the songs. To have a certain narrative if you want to call it that.

They only were papped 2 (+the time at the Classic East concert.) They went to really popular places where you only go to when you want to get papped.

Other than that they only posted „sneaky fanpics“ which was on purpose to make them look „private“ but they were anything but that.

I actually had saved so much stuff as proof till recently when I deleted it all bc it honestly has been 3 years and I didn’t think I needed it anymore to help me explain lol. And please don’t make the mistake of looking up Hamille timelines, bc they’re all created by shipper afterwards so 95% of the shit is wrong, in the wrong order or they added the wrong pics to certain events. (If you want to look for pics, specific dates and stuff look them up individually and NOT through shipper pages or similar shit.)

Alright, back to explaining why it was so obvious. Disclaimer: I‘m just gonna point out the most obvious things but there is way more.

Harry started following Camille back in June 2016. They have several mutual friends (Waseem, Alexa Chung, Matt Hitt etc) so I assume they‘ve met before. She didn’t follow back though till shortly before the „relationship“ started. So after Harry followed her in 2016 she started to tag him in posts of her and her friends ass and did that video moaning his name while grabbing her boobs (classy 🤢). Shortly afterwards Harry unfollowed for a while and started follow her again before the mess began.

Fast forward to 2017. After doing „Dunkirk“ and about to bring his debut album out they started the first attempt at what I call a failed narrative with Tess. Not gonna go over that again bc one anon pointed out right how fake it was. They got rid of her rather quickly after she posted several times from his house which wasn’t the „private way“ they intended it to go.

So they were looking for someone to replace her. Cue Camille entering the scene.

Perfect person for the narrative as she’s half french (goes well with Dunkirk promo), is a VS model, have mutual friends and she has several ex bf who have written songs/albums about her. She’s the picture perfect muse for his second album.

Please let’s first talk about chemistry and body language bc I can’t even say how awkward they always were around each other. First the two pap pics from the sushi place and in front of the gym/ yoga place: both times both had closed off body language either crossed arms, Harry walking 3 steps ahead, faces didn’t look pleased at all and rather irritated or as of they just had a fight/ were in the middle of a fight (especially the pic from in front of the yoga place). No touching or anything involved in any pap pics. If you didn’t knew they were supposedly „dating“ you wouldn’t see it.

Let’s get to their behavior at the „sightings“: they weren’t seen much together outside of touring. But when they were seen we got pics in like 95% of the cases and people meeting them always said they didn’t seem like a couple (apart from shippers who made up shit about them all the time).

Even in every ���sneaky pic“ there was as much chemistry as in Holivia -> none!

We got a few pics or even videos were you could see them backstage or besides the stage (e.g. 2017 Toronto show: while Muna is on stage Harry and Camille stand awkwardly 3 feet apart from each other, both closed off body language, not interacting with each other. You’d think as they were still in their honeymoon phase at that time and in private, seemingly not knowing that anyone could see them that they acted more coupley or at least would not stand there like 🧍🏻 🧍🏻. (Have you seen him interact with Xander while watching 1D’s opening act? Total opposite to Hamilel and they were „just friends“. Also in other pics Harry would rather cling to her bag / coat etc that he was holding so he didn’t had to touch her or anything. I think the only time we saw them „touch“ was that Classic east concert („relationship debut“) when he awkwardly held her shoulders and she was swaying weirdly. She even tried to touch him or get him to sway with her but he shot that down immediately 🤣. I could go on for longer but you get what I mean...

The next weird thing is, that she was down in literally the pit or sitting with „regular fans“ 97% of the time. Without Harry’s bodyguard around. Sometimes Jeff was with her but mostly she stood there alone. Everyone knew that she wasn’t really popular and liked around fans, so why would you put your gf in the pit with all the crazys or why would you as a gf want to be in the crowd at most shows when you could watch from the side of the stage or backstage? Also the fact that we always knew when she was at a show because she was always „spotted“ even the few times she was indeed staying at the side of the stage, she didn’t stay hidden. Sometimes we even joked about how she wanted to be part of the band or something by how close she stood there in the open. But whenever Anne for example was on tour or close friends of his or whatever they always had someone walking with them for protection and Anne never was like „in the pit“ like Camille. She never followed any of Harry‘s close private friends or family. Only people who she could gain something from. Like Lambert, Jeff, Teasedale, the Crawford’s etc. And she was never at any of the London or Manchester shows where basically all of his friends and family were. Even though she would have had definitely time bc she posted herself and friends doing nothing or trolling in LA all the time in that time. When she was at that show in Paris in 2018, she brought her friend who lives in Paris and her cousin I think. We got backstage pics of them all and Harry and Camille staying as far away from each other in that pic as possible. She was seen leaving as well after that show with her friends out through the main entrance. This was also the show Anne was at and an awkward hugging video of them both came out. Tbh it’s not clear where Camille and co were sitting bc they moved around the arena the whole night. At one point you can see Anne and Camille standing next to each other and all of a sudden Camille was „hugging“ Anne but Anne was so surprised that she was just standing there like 🧍🏼‍♀️ and waited till it was over (that „hug“ looked more like as if Camille tried to tackle Anne 😂). Also serious question and not to make it sound weird, but it deadass looked in that video as if Camille just waited for a sign to go for that hug and that it was being recorded. Because the way the camera was pointing at them all of a sudden and they were just lucky enough to catch that on camera? Yeah sure...

Not to forget, she didn’t seem to have a lanyard like for example Anne had, so everyone would knew that she could move around the arena and crew as she wanted which is fucking weird not to have as a girlfriend especially if you’re apparently on tour for many dates. This also mean she couldn’t join them when she wanted but had to contact Jeff or Harry before so they could give her a lanyards for that specific date or a sticker with AAA. Sometimes she wore a lanyard but that was literally the VIP lanyard that you got when you bought a VIP ticket like any other fan. Didn’t mean she could move freely around the venue. Even weirder is that she put that AAA sticker on the back of her phone after she left tour 2018 and placed it obviously in lots of her insta stories and posts on insta (one where you can see that sticker is still up). Fan behavior not that of a real girlfriend!

Camilles mum followed Hamille shipper accounts at one point and liked a post of them. After that shippers were unbearable. Which mum follows a shipper account on insta? 😬

What I also find weird is that she was barely working and when she did she posted only like 2 about it. I mean it’s part of her job to post stuff like that?! But she went radio silent more often then not to let fans guess if she was with him or if she would turn up somewhere.

Her friends who are all are well in their 30s or older made often „jokes“ about Harry or implied stuff about him or 1D and posted this on their stories and she was laughing with them most of the time... what a girlfriend huh...

Another thing is, she was never at his house in London. Because she was never at any of the UK dates besides that one gig he did for X -factor. They were not much in London at the same time. And when she was alone in London or with her friend, they literally stayed at an AirBnB or a hotel. So I ask you, why would she as his gf of a few months not stay at his place while she’s in the UK? Or that one time when she was in the UK making it look like she was waiting for him coming back from tour in Asia and he stayed extra long there (a week or two) even after tour in Asia finished and she was in London. But he went rather out partying in London. I don’t blame him.

When she was at his show in Milan (2017) she met a „fan“ and they took a selfie in the restroom (classy 🥴🤐) during the concert. Idk but this is one thing which is really questionable bc people were speculating she was at this show but we hadn’t gotten pics yet. So that she then took a pic with a „fan“ coincidentally seems really fishy to me. Also that said „regular fan“ had allegedly floor tickets as you could see in the videos and pics she posted in the beginning of the concert. But after the pic with Camille she all of sudden appeared on the balcony as well, close to where Camille and more VIP guests were. So how did she end up there if she didn’t have connections or was told to take a pic with her so then being on the balcony was her „reward“? To add this woman was close to Camilles age so this scenario makes just less and less sense the longer you think about it.

In May she was still on tour with her then bf in Tokio. In July just two weeks before they were seen together for the first time that awkward Grimmy interview happened. Where he specifically asked about her. And Harry said he „ didn’t know her“. Fucking weird to bring up such a private topic on radio and then be seen not even 2 weeks later. (Not gonna argue on that one, it’s the same like the wedding weekend pap walk just more subtle).

Then there were so many pics of him backstage at that concert, pics with fans, official pics, „sneaky fan sightings“ in the audience... He looked rather uncomfortable holding her shoulders while she was dancing. We know Harry goes often to concerts but when did we ever get so many pics from one? Mostly it’s a blurry pic of him or one backstage pic with the artist, not like the ones we got and certainly not that many. Plus we got an relationship article the day after.

Funny is also how he was on vacation in Muskoka with the Gerbers and Anne at the end of July 2017 shortly before the first spotting of Hamille and Camille no where to be seen.

Now I‘m gonna point out inconsistencies and such might be in chronological order, might be not.

I think the next time we saw them was a „sneaky fan pic“ (just the two of them) without a source from Beverly Hills hotel at lunch. Her friend Lauren posted a instastory being at that hotel right then and there and deleted the story like 5 minutes afterwards. She wasn’t in the pic of the „fan“ so my bet is she was the one taking the pic.

Coming to the stunt props. The „ring“ he was suddenly wearing on his pinky was from Camille. She only wore it once for a photoshoot in 2013 and then all of a sudden she wore it in every story she posted for the next 2 weeks right BEFORE he was wearing it and literally made such a show out of showing that ring that it was so cringey to watch at.

Not to forget his Pink Floyd shirt that was featured in his Rolling Stones mag interview that she not only wore but posted a few instastorys with showing it up close so every Harry fan could identify it from the distinctive holes in it.

Funny was the times she wore „his necklace“ and again posted several stories wearing it and even went to an event with it that Kendall wore before. After people pointed the connection to Kendall out, she never wore it again 😂😂 Harry being papped leaving a gym while wearing Camilles ex shirt was peak comedy.

Camille making a post saying „goodbye“ to her friend Lauren before Christmas in a really distinctive fur coat. Then New Years dinner pics with Jeff, Camille and co came out. Harry looking bored as always around her. Then the weirdest thing: he took fan pics while holding Camilles distinctive fur coat in his hands in every fucking pic. And it wasn’t that cold to wear a fur coat! Why couldn’t she hold it herself while he took the pics or Jeff or put it on the chair beside him? That wasn’t really slick of them.

Then Camille having a girls trip to Corsica and literally posting so fucking often being girls only in cars an what not. Harry was in London out with Mitch and was also seen on other occasions so I assume he went to Corsica for maybe 2 days max to get pics in. (Her cousin/ goddaughter of her mum posted a pic with Harry in Corsica in 2018 from that time). Mind you they could have just „dating“ for maybe 5 week’s max at that time bc they were never at the same place at the same time before maybe late June, and that’s when Robin died and he was home so I doubt that’s when they met. I assume 1.st proper meeting was in early July or after the Grimmy interview.

Harry filmed the Manchester special for his album in Manchester literally right before he went to HC with Camille. Yet Grimmy, one of his best friends at least at that time, never followed her or hung out together.

The next thing is her being in Holmes Chapel. She hinted at it on insta, like she did EVERY time she would be around Harry. Also appearing in every pic of him in the background when she was around. Even posted a story of random people with Harry’s voice in the background. That’s also a point why it was so obviously fake.

She posted in a train and captioned it with something like „England ❤️“ and then a cow (similar to Olivia with the hedgehog and caption) and then appeared in every pic we got of him that weekend.

She turned up to several of his shows, yet NEVER to his hometown shows (neither London or Manchester) where all his family and friends were at. She also only followed people beneficial to her career like Lambert, Jeff and co but never anyone of his real friends or family even though Gemma followed her after Christmas 2017 (which was taken as the „proof“ that they spend Christmas in HC🤦🏻‍♀️ and we got this photoshopped pic of Hamille which turned out was an old pic of originally Harry and Gemma. Glenne also never followed her and Camille was also never seen with Glenne it was only ever Jeff around and people noticed that (probably why we got now the joyride etc including Glenne).

Ok so what do we have next? The charity gig where his mum celebrated her 50th bday with everyone wearing a yellow flower crown. Everyone besides Camille. She wasn’t invited and just was brought to them while Harry was already singing a song, Gemma looking annoyed in the video her friend posted. Before Harry’s set was over someone came and took Camille with them again while Anne, Gemma and co stayed in the crowd. So why was she even going to them and didn’t stay backstage if she clearly wasn’t invited to celebrate with Anne and co and left before Harry even finished his set. We got also pics of a bday dinner with Anne, Harry, Gemma and all the friends from the concert but without Camille. This was also the gig where he was groped on stage.

After that charity gig in late October Harry went to tour in Europe. He stopped wearing the ring and seemed happier than before somehow. I went to the Cologne show and let me tell you, it was fucking nuts! His energy and the way he was smirking all the time not to forget Kiwi twice.

You’d think Camille would have been quiet now on sm that Harry wasn’t around, but it was exactly the opposite! It was like as if she had to remind everyone that that „relationship“ was still „on“ after he ditched that ring bc she was literally unbearable on insta. We got her and friends singing SOTT on karaoke (while she was wearing the Kendall necklace like mentioned previously), then she did a whole photoshoot (sorry but that’s just what it was) with her friends Djuna + Nik whit a very distinctive blue totebag Harry was carrying around just a week or two before while meeting fans in LA and she did the same thing like she did with the ring and posed with that bag in every angle. As if all that wasn’t enough in the space of 3 days she then celebrated Halloween with her friends and 2 or 3 of them wore costumes that reminded of 1D and Harry. All this happened between his cologne show and Halloween. Trolling at its best.

Then Camille decided to turn up to tour in Europe but she didn’t choose days when he actually had time off (even though she evidently didn’t do anything in LA besides trolling the last few days) so she decided to pop up when Harry had shows back to back and needed to travel to them as they were all over Europe. He had two more Berlin 7.11. and an event in London on the 6th) before she turned up on 8.11. in Amsterdam where she met Ella his cousin who followed Camille then (but Camille never followed back), 9.11. Italy x-factor, 10.11. Milan , 11.11. London X-Factor). He clearly didn’t have any time then which gets even more ridiculous if you know that she was back in LA by Monday the 13th the latest bc a photographer „exposed“ her being on set early that day. So why did she even bother turning up to tour that time when she could have done earlier and be at his homeshows?

Another thing is, when Harry went to NYC at the end of January 2018 to perform with Fleetwood Mac he didn’t take her instead he took Jeff and Xander was there as well. But no Camille. Right before was one of the rare times they got papped. Harry as always looking irritated around her. And them looking as if the soccer mom collected her son from practice😂

On his b-day her friend Lauren posted Camille chilling at their home reading and hanging out with her. Harry was officially MIA but a good friend of mine actually saw him while walking her dog the next day in Hampstead rather covered up with another guy (assuming his trainer or PA) trying not to be seen. She is not a huge fan of Harry and only knows him bc I‘ m a fan but she texted me right away saying something was weird about how he was trying to not be seen.

And on cue allegedly someone (real estate Agent from London) said he was on her flight to London over a week later (even though I knew he was already there for a while).

So the last time they were actually seen together was the day they were papped (I think that was even the day of the Grammys).

Then the thing about her quitting smoking bc she was „ dating“ Harry 🤣🤣. The way she even lied about that. She posted a video and made a few instastorys throughout that year to say how long she didn’t smoke at that time „bla, bla, bla“ and Harries ate that shit up. She was caught so many times lying in regards to that. Her friends and co were the ones to always expose her accidentally. She appeared in so many stories in her friends stories were she smoked a cigarette and not „just“ a juul like she always liked to pretend (not that a juul would be any better lol). Harry probably didn’t like it when he had to be around her for longer periods of time and she would smoke around him or smell of smoke so she had to pretend she cared for his sake and quit publicly. To say is also that she publicly started smoking again after she came back from tour end of March/beginning of April 2018.

Now speaking of the big tour in 2018. Camille seemed to had joined tour again at some point. She was at the Paris show like mentioned earlier but then only joined tour 2 dates or something later in. Someone „exposed“ her of staying with friends in each city she went on tour with at that time instead of staying with him. I think he also got fed up with her bc Harry & band + some of the crew went to museums in each city. But of course Camille had to post something every time they were at a museum and so it didn’t take long till fans caught on and turned up en masse in these museums so he couldn’t go there anymore. I would have been pissed too if I were him. And girls who’s dad is the director of one of the museums did meet Harry at the museum and he invited them to the show and backstage. These girls said Harry and Camille didn’t look or behave like a couple at the museum, he was mostly around the band and she on her own. And backstage the same thing. She was kinda just there and nothing more. Not long after that she left tour and only turned up at the Ireland show and then later the NYC and LA one.

Speaking of the Ireland show, that must have been the most awkward thing ever. I saw a few videos from people who did constantly film the side of the stage and she is staying alone there with the sound guys while Mabel was performing and Harry was standing backstage with Jeff and the band, watching Mabel and preparing for their prank they did on Mabel.

Twice Harry is walking past Camille and didn’t even acknowledge her. She was once again just standing there. You could almost feel bad for her, but only almost. Then he went to prank Mabel on stage with the rest of the band and was so affectionate with Mabel something you never saw him be with Camille.

After that show the trolling did turn down a bit for a while but like 2 days before the concert she posted a Mick Jagger pic and everyone knew she would turn up in NYC. And she proved us right bc she posted about being on a plane the minute she stepped foot in said plane 🤦🏻‍♀️. At the show itself she was in the crowd/pit with with Xander, Waseem, Matt Hitt & Jeff but Jeff had to fetch her again a lanyard at first for that day bc she still hadn’t one although allegedly „dating“ him for nearly a year at that time. You’d think she had one for the whole tour but nope. And after the concert Harry was once again out with friends while she stayed with another friend in NYC. Between the NYC and LA show she was seen being cosy with Alexander Skarsgard and then her now bf Theo Niarchos. To the LA show she turned up with Djuna, Nik and another friend. All of them sat up pretty high in the nosebleeds while Kendall and co where in the family and friends lounge right above pit. And Camille and co left a little earlier before the show finished and left through the front entrance. Suspicious is also that the „break up“ was announced like exactly on the year mark of the start their „relationship“. Sorry that I wrote so much. And I probably still missed a lot but I hope it’s gotten clear what I mean.

I'm still reading this through but wanted to post for those asking about it!!

Thank you!

[mrsclydelogan]

What do you think of his hair in character? Hahaa...I feel a bit bad for saying it but Im not super into it? Yes yes I know it’s for the role. I’m sure the acting will be superb. 😂

I kinda...like it? Even if I recognize that it’s a bit weird, maybe because it’s vintage lol and the fact I can’t understand if it’s a wig or not makes it weirder. Because his hair was darker and longer in the ski lesson pics and now it looks slightly fairer and shorter, but maybe the ski pics are from some days ago and he has it cut and dyed recently. 

I kind of expected that look since this drawing (fanart) preannounced it and I considered it credible, but I was mainly curious about the big glasses. Let’s see when we get better quality pictures!