#the man's like a stork

[iggylici0us]

Ignis Scientia's legs.

That's it. That's the post.

[theinfinitedivides]

when your boyfriend(?) and girlfriend(?) save an entire orphanage but you just have the stupidest little grin on your face Eliot my love babe it's only ep six why are we down so bad already

[ioannemos]

the particular bad guy of this episode, a little apprehensively: the audience wants to see me die?

nate, with more sincerity than anything he's said to anyone in her presence before: like you wouldn't believe

[haomnyangz]

last time i brought u siblings but this time i offer u that one morbid uncle and that one unlikely kid relative he gets on with rly well somehow. thats them dynamic duo

[kakusu-shipping]

Royal Polycule Adventures in Parenting and some general Kid Doodles

[vrakyea]

White Stork. Image by Luc.T. Bird ID: #4

Honestly . real ! Thank you for this bird <3

[faustiandevil]

It brings me such a sadness to see the nest empty.

I do hope that the storks are okay.

[copperbadge]

Creatures That Look Like Muppets But Are Real

1. Valais Blacknose Sheep

2. Shoebill Storks

3. Gritty

4. Red Pandas

Reblog with your own!

[ID: Four images, each depicting the thing listed; the sheep look like harmless background muppets, while the stork looks like a supervillain in a Muppet movie, Gritty looks like the guy you think is bad but turns out to be a hero, and the red panda just looks like a Little Man.]

[astonmartinii]

fatherhood looks good on you | george russell social media au

pairing: george russell x fem albon reader

there comes a point in the relationship where you take it to the next level

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

- part of the brother's best friend series -

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, landonorris and 783,409 others

tagged: georgerussell63

yourusername: looking so good i want to give you a baby

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user1: WHAT

user2: we really be saying anything on the internet these days

alexalbon: SHUT THE FUCK UP THE LITERAL ONLY RULE OF THIS RELATIONSHIP WAS THAT YOU KEEP THIS SHIT TO YOURSELVES

yourusername: gosh a girl can't have baby fever in peace these days

alexalbon: unless that baby is coming by stork you can put that talk on hold real fast

yourusername: just because lily is busy does not mean you have to take it out on me and george

georgerussell63: alex is it illegal for a man to be handsome?

alexalbon: if it's illegal to be handsome, you'd have the cleanest record known to man

yourusername: STOP RIGHT THERE DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT LYING IS A SIN

alexalbon: i'm not going to say YOUR boyfriend is hot, no.

yourusername: just because i got in there first 🙄

user3: i don't think she's serious but also george with a baby is just too cute not to happen

user4: george is the perf instagram boyf like he's so ready to pose

landonorris: well that definitely is something we all want to know

yourusername: i know you would LOVE to know ALL the details norris

georgerussell63: she's never going to let your crush go lando, you gotta just hold it

landonorris: i was THIRTEEN

yourusername: you don't love me anymore? 😕

landonorris: i don't know why i always get in these arguments with you

user5: i love how george just instigates things for y/n lmao

user6: your boyfriend should always support your mess

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georgerussell63

liked by lewishamilton, alexalbon and 1,209,458 others

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georgerussell63: fatherhood is a different beast

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user8: alright i am so confused

user9: there's no way y/n can actually be pregnant i saw her down at least three pornstar martinis in hospitality this weekend

alexalbon: this better be a joke or i'm gonna kick you so hard you get a free non-reversible vasectomy

yourusername: stop the violence!

alexalbon: THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR GLEE REFERENCES

yourusername: someone is channelling some serious sue vibes right now

georgerussell63: let it be known i like my reproductive systems the way they are

alexalbon: that's kind of the point of a threat, you aren't supposed to want it

yourusername: he likes threats if they come from the right person

alexalbon: i am about one more comment away from knocking down your hotel room door and throwing george from the balcony

yourusername: and deprive our child from a father... alex i expected better from you

alexalbon: that's it i'm on my way

georgerussell63: @mercedesamgf1 PLEASE PROTECT ME I AM PRECIOUS CARGO

user10: these bitches got me actually combing through tiktoks and hospitality menus to see if y/n was actually drinking

user11: i'm gonna be real angry if this is all a big joke

user12: i know kimi antonelli is young but this is NAWT the way to announce him for 2025

charles_leclerc: guys i need you to spell everything out i am confused

georgerussell63: no can do charles you gotta follow the breadcrumbs just like everyone else

yourusername: it's right there sharl

charles_leclerc: actually alex, wait, i'm coming with you these hoes are annoying me

landonorris: don't forget me

yourusername

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tagged: georgerussell63

yourusername: our baby is here!

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user15: A CAT?

user16: i just knew george russell would be a ragdoll girl

georgerussell63: they were right i AM a girl dad

yourusername: finally dilf status

georgerussell63: a title i do not take lightly

yourusername: i can confirm libido has gone UP since becoming parents!

landonorris: shut THE FUCK UP

yourusername: you'll understand in time lando

georgerussell63: you just found yourself at the bottom of the babysitting list

landonorris: i don't want to look after it

yourusername: IT? IT? HOW DARE YOU?

georgerussell63: she can hear you lando that's so disrespectful :(

landonorris: ??? i'm not saying sorry to a cat over instagram comment

georgerussell63: expect the same courtesy when i take you out first corner next weekend

user17: i fear that was not a threat but a promise from george

user18: it's kinda hot

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alexalbon: NEW ALBON PETS LORE AND NONE OF YOU TOLD ME

yourusername: ella can't wait to meet the gang

alexalbon: no offence but ella is kinda a shit name

yourusername: short for mozzarella

alexalbon: i take it back

georgerussell63: cause she's the lil pearl of our life

alexalbon: i love her already

user19: so we went through all this tomfoolery for a cat? a cat called mozzarella?

user20: you have to agree it's iconic

alexalbon

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alexalbon: i knew @albon_pets would get george at some point

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user22: i love how alex became the chill guy again after it was revealed he was not yet an uncle

georgerussell63: hard on the yet

alexalbon: too soon george

user23: the albon pets signature of approval is a bigger sign that george is in the gamily than if he actually proposed to y/n

user24: they've got a baby now he's an albon

yourusername: horsey is going to kick off over having to share george with me and mozzie

albon_pets: bring it on - horsey

yourusername: alex i'm not arguing with you pretending to be horsey, this ain't roscoe and lewis

lewishamilton: rude

roscoelovescoco: meanie

yourusername: did you just call me mean as your dog?

lewishamilton: you were extra mean

yourusername: fine lets let mozzie and roscoe scrap it out at silverstone - she's got the sass of both me and george btw x

lewishamilton: stay AWAY FROM MY DOG

user25: the merc garage gonna be a whole petting zoo at silverstone i can't

user26: you wanna catch up with red bull? sell meet and greet tickets to the petting zoo

maxverstappen1: this is my official invitation to a play date with jimmy and sassy

yourusername: WE'LL BE THERE

maxverstappen1: is mozzarella civilised?

georgerussell63: of course my child has manners?

maxverstappen1: you crash into people all the time, i had to check

georgerussell63

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georgerussell63: all of the family here for the home race

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user27: y/n wearing mozzarella in a baby harness i need to be put down

user28: that really is their child oh my

yourusername: make our baby proud georgie

georgerussell63: anything for you two xx

alexalbon: why do i never get these nice comments

yourusername: they're transmitted through our genes x

yourusername: also george more important 👍🏻

alexalbon: i'm literally your brother? your flesh and blood?

yourusername: george cuter

georgerussell63: can't argue with that

alexalbon: well of course he is this ain't alabama. (sorry logan)

logansargent: i'm from florida?

yourusername: even worse, my condolences

georgerussell63: can we get back to talking about how dashing i am?

yourusername: yes!

alexalbon: NO. SAY GOOD LUCK Y/N

yourusername: good luck y/n

alexalbon: what if i crash and you never said good luck, think about it y/n

yourusername: good luck alex (you're an asshole for weaponising the sport (and you being shit at it))

user29: i think i had about three strokes trying to follow this argument

user30: poor logan is just a victim of the albons at this point

landonorris: have a baby and forget about the rest of us, i see how it is

yourusername: you will never measure up to mozzie lando i hope you know that

georgerussell63: what y/n means is that i love my friends, but a child is a gift from god

landonorris: it's a cat. she can't even talk

yourusername: and yet she makes better points than you, makes you think

yourusername

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yourusername: fatherhood looks good on you

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user31: mozzarella is so big already 🥹

user32: maybe i'm worse than them cause i'm attached to mozzie as well

georgerussell63: no one else i'd rather be cat parents to

yourusername: you're such a romantic

georgerussll63: such a pleasure to take this next step with the love of my life

yourusername: i love you more

georgerussell63: not possible

alexalbon: you being gross about mozzie was better than what ever the fuck this is

yourusername: @lilymunhe does he not treat you right?

lilymunhe: he's a romantic really, he's just exhausting the protective big brother act until george finally proposes

alexalbon: sue me

maxverstappen1: still waiting on the play date ...

yourusername: monaco?

maxverstappen1: done

yourusername: jimmy, sassy and ella will be like the charlie's angles reincarnated

georgerussell63: can't wait for you to see her IMPECCABLE manners

maxverstappen1: okay princess george

yourusername: hey only i can call george princess

maxverstappen1: you keep that to yourself

user33: disappointed that with all the tomfoolery around mozzie that there was no maternity photoshoots

yourusername: oh do not give me a challenge...

fin.

note: NEW SERIES ALERT? i'll create a masterlist after i post this. i hope you enjoyed, this one is more of a tame brother's best friend take but dw they can get more beefy and more sassy - send me any pairings you might like to see! thanks for reading x

[a-hazbin-reader]

Hello, happy day, first of all. Secondly, I would like to see how Alastor would give the talk to his children (the talk about how babies are made) or what would happen if his children asked him how babies are made.

😳

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

✅️Parental

TW: Shenanigans!!

Description: ☝️⬆️

His kids don't really even think about where they came from, they just know that they come from their mother and father

They don't really think about how they came to be until...their mom is suddenly pregnant again

Alastor sits down the kids, holding the youngest little girl in his lap while you hold the twins at your sides

They can't help but notice the happy look you're sharing with your husband, knowing that you two are about to announce something good

Alastor adjusts the toddler in his lap and gives his twins a sharp grin, obviously unable to contain himself

"Now, my little ones~ Do you remember how you've been asking for another sibling?"

You can't help but laugh as the twins look at each in confusion then look up at their father, the little girl shaking her head

"No-"

"Well, your mother and I have good news! Due to sheer luck and absolute carelessness, your mother has managed to spawn another baby!"

You can't help but gawk at your husband, he's trying to put all the blame on you for getting pregnant!?

You don't even get a chance to speak before your husband is kissing you, chuckling at the pout on your face

"That's not entirely true, but yes, we're having another baby."

Your twins lean on you and rub their cheeks against you, their little tails wagging in excitement

The youngest girl is still too young to understand, but she copies her siblings anyways, bleating and wiggling her tail to the best of her ability

It's a sweet moment that you wish you could take a photo of but you're too busy hugging your babies and snuggling up to your husband

It's not until later that night that it becomes a problem as Alastor is putting the twins to bed and you stand in the doorway to watch

He tucks them in and kisses their foreheads before wishing them goodnight, just about to turn out the light when it happens

"Papa, where do babies come from?"

The look on Alastor's face is enough to make you laugh, hiding it behind your hand as your husband freezes in place before regaining his composure

"Why! From mommies and daddies of course! Just like your mother and I!"

The little boy sits up fully, his sister soon following after as they give him an annoyed look

"Yeah but HOW did you make us?"

The rational part of Alastor's brain tells him that he should just tell them the truth and be done with it

But when he looks at his twin's innocent faces staring up at him expectantly...he absolutely fumbles it

Alastor lies lies and LIES through his teeth, every baby myth known to man comes to his mind as he weaves some crazy tale of how babies come to be

The stork, cabbage patches, water sprites and berry bushes-ANYTHING BUT THE TRUTH

You have to leave because you can't stop laughing at your husband, barely calming down before erupting into laughter again when Alastor climbs into bed with you

"Don't laugh..! What was I supposed to say?!"

He lets out a pathetic bleat and hugs you to him tightly, rubbing your stomach in an attempt to soothe himself

"Oh I don't know...maybe just a PG version of the truth?"

You look back at your husband to see the shocked look on his face, pulling away to see if you're being serious

"Are you telling me you could look them in the eyes and tell them what we do in bed?"

You start to get up, laughing at him

"I can go do it right now if you want-"

His arms suddenly reach out and grab you, careful of your stomach even though you're not showing yet

"NO!"

He's dragging you back into bed and rolling on top of you to keep you from getting up, fixing you the most pitiful puppy eyes you've seen yet

"Please don't...let them stay innocent..."

You can't help but roll your eyes and pet his head, leaning in to kiss his forehead before laying back

"Oh, you sappy man of mine...~ I won't...~"

You keep your promise and don't tell your twins the truth, but it's all for nothing because Angel is the one who tells them

To be fair, he didn't realize it was such a big deal at the time, he just wanted to correct some misinformation

Angel was eating with the twins, holding the littlest girl in his lap while he half listened to the older two ramble on about the new baby

"So you squirts excited for another baby in the house?"

The little boy hums in thought as he munches on his snack, ears flopping as he bounces in his seat

"Yeah but I wanna know when we'll see the stork deliver them!"

"I thought the baby was gonna come out of a cabbage?"

"What about the berry bush?"

This is where Angel might've messed up...

"What!? Don't tell me your parents fed you some lame story about where babies come from! Listen, you two most certainly didn't come from no bird and this little cutie right here?"

Angel holds up the baby girl, the toddler happily kicking her feet in the air

"Didn't come from a cabbage or nothin'! You all came from your mom because your parents had sex!"

"...what is sex?"

Now Angel sees where he fucked up, sucking in a breath before looking around the room nervously

"Okay, I'll tell you, but you guys better not tell your father I told you this!"

Angel leans in and starts whispering, the twins hanging onto his every word and forgetting their snacks

Alastor is hugging you as you sit in his lap, taking the moment alone to kiss and snuggle you, gently caressing your slight baby bump

When suddenly your little girl comes running in and points at Alastor accusingly, her brother rushing in not long after

"Papa, you lied!! You had SEX!"

You have to cling to your husband suddenly as he jumps up, looking shocked and gasping dramatically

"I did NOT! Who taught you such a word?"

The little boy giggles and runs out of the room, his sister chasing after him as they chant Angel's name

"Angel did~!"

"You little brats! You promised not to tell!"

It's all you can do not to laugh, burying your face in Alastor's shoulder as he sputters out nonsense about his children and their innocence

"Oh honey~ It's not that bad, they were bound to find out anyways..! And Angel isn't the worst person to tell them..."

You gotta act fast if you want Angel to have a chance at surviving this-

"My innocent babies..."

"It's okay, darling, you still have two other babies you can lie to about how we made them~"

He visibly perks up at that, sitting back down and resting his chin on you as his tail wags

"You're right, it's not too late to lie to them..!"

This one was so much fun!!

[kneelingshadowsalome]

The König being a Shoebill Stork is so funny😭😭 especially the 'solitary breeding', he will literally hole up in his cabin in the austrian woods with you and not let you out of his bed, not even really letting you off of his cock tbh :((

Not to mention that he will literally kill anyone that comes near to the cabin, no one will disturb his breeding season <3

He so will too!!!

But… What if the mating season lasts for like 3 months?!

Say, you have to be there from beginning of May to the end of June, and he expects you to cook for him too :/ Perhaps bake some pastries while he's out, patrolling his territory and getting rid of unwanted "visitors" (perhaps he even sets traps for the unwary travellers and has to go check and reset them occasionally, you of course know nothing about this morbid, camouflaged defense system surrounding the whole perimeter, you thought you're only here to mate)

When he comes back to the cabin, invigorated by the fresh mountain air, he sees you in your cute little apron, taking out a warm, delicious Apfelstrudel from the oven ❤️ Suddenly he's up for round two or three or four again, and after the first few weeks, you're really starting to get sore everywhere :(

Our man mostly uses the good old mating press and other positions where he can get the seed deep inside of you, and stays plugged in as long as he can so that it doesn't come out anytime soon. If you whine about it, he will pat you softly on your thigh or ass and coo encouraging words in your ear. You're doing so well, he knows you're going to be a wonderful mother for his kids ❤️

Other times, even König wants a little variation, and might just turn you on your stomach in the morning to start the day by enjoying your pussy from the back, grinding into you with slow but sweaty pace (because he's a lil sleepy too and the summers in the lower slopes of the Alps can be very hot). Or if you continue your whining, he may cut you some slack by using your thighs or mouth to get himself off, but he always demands that you put it in just before he cums so that the precious seed won't go to waste. That is why you are here, no? This is not just for his pleasure, you know.

Your neck is full of love bites, and your tits are getting far too much love too, because König doesn't always remember to shave when out here in the wild with you, so your nipples get sore from his stubble and tongue and constant little nibs and bites. He's already imagining how much larger your breasts will be when he gets you pregnant... And when you fuss in the kitchen or bend over to check if the pastries are turning nice golden crisp, he gives you a little smack on the butt and only laughs when you pout back at him :((

[water-to-drink]

I’m Not That Innocent

(Pairing): Neuvilette x gn!reader

(Synopsis): Neuvilette feels immense guilt for having dirty thoughts about you thinking you as an innocent being, but you’re quick to prove him wrong

(Tags/Warnings): NSFW +18 MDNI, male masturbation, (y/n) used, “Monsieur” used a lot, not edited, bad smut, possible ooc Neuvilette, (if I miss anything lmk)

(Word Count): 1k

(A/n): Wrote this in one sitting when the embarrassment wasn’t there so…

Neuvilette is a man of many things, he’s the Iudex of Fontaine, he’s the hydro sovereign, and he’s a pervert

Of course he is, having dirty thoughts about a person as innocent as you. The person who smiles so brightly when he offers to go have lunch with you, the same person who thanks him profusely whenever he would buy you those limited cakes.

Anyone would be a degenerate to have such thoughts about a pure person like you, but here he is in his office at the dead of night furiously storking his cock

His mind plagued with images of you in the most lewd positions possible. You underneath the dragon as he pumps you full of his cum, and the one he’s imagining right now is you on your knees between his legs sucking on his dick. Oh how he wishes it was you sucking him off instead of him using his callous hand

In the throws of pleasure Neuvilette couldn’t keep his voice down, why would he? Everyone who is normally in the building is long gone by now so

“Ahh! Fuck, (Y/n). That’s it, keep going” Neuvilette moans out

To his horror he hears the door creak loudly

Whipping his head towards the direction of the noise. There you stood in the doorway, mouth wide open in shock

“W-wait! It’s not what it looks like!” Neuvilette tried to salvage whatever little respect you had for him

“Monsieur Neuvilette.” You said as you slowly walked towards the Iudex who still has his hard cock in his hand. “You imagined that it was me doing things to you?”

“Y-yes.” Neuvilette said as shame fills his entire being

Trying to hide his shame he covers himself but to his surprise you stop him. You kneeled in between his legs and took his member in your hands

“Were you imagining me stroking you like this?”

“Ahh! Yes!.” A shutter wrecks through the hydro dragon

You stroke the stiff cock with an expertise that shocks the Iudex, moving your hand up and down his staff and carefully pinching the tip. With hearts in your eyes you watched as the usually composed judge come undone in your hands. It didn’t take long for him to release in your hand

Bringing your hand up to your mouth, you lick the cum clean off. All the while you kept eye contact with the man in front of you

“Please watch me, Monsieur.” You said as you pulled out a bottle of lube from your bag

Pulling your pants and underwear down and throwing them to the side you squeezed a good portion of lube on your fingers. Slowly you teased at your entrance and once you got a finger in you began to thrust your finger in and out

Gradually you added another finger

“Nngghhh! See me, Monsieur? This all for you! J-Ahhh! Just keep watching!” You moaned out as your fingers furiously pumped in and out of you with such fervor that the Iudex thought he he might be dreaming all of this. “Fuck, I’m close! I’m g-gonna cum, Monsieur!”

Your fingers kept moving until you reached your climax. Neuvilette watched as your cum dirtied his desk and the papers that he was supposed to be working on and as your legs twitching violently

“Are you going to stand there?” Your voice snaps him out of his trance. “C’mon, fuck me like you were imagining before I walked in.” You said as you spread your opening for white haired man

Without hesitation Neuvilette stands up from his chair and lined himself up to your entrance, he slowly pushed against your plush warm walls. He wiped away a few stray tears from your eyes when he was full sheathed in your walls

“You can move, Monsieur.” You whimpered. as he found purchase on your soft thighs he slowly began thrusting. “Go faster! I can take it!” You gasped out

“You little minx. I’ll go faster.”

Almost taking his member out he thrusted causing you to moan loudly. Fucking into you he moved his grip from your thighs to your plush ass and squeezed, not caring if he left little crescent dents in the fat of your ass

You wrapped your arms around Neuvilette’s shoulders as his hips snapped into yours. Your hands found their way to his long locks and tucked on them harshly. You brought his face towards your own and kissed him

Tongues fighting for dominance but the hydro sovereign wins. You separated for air and the moment you do Neuvilette tugs at your shirt, signaling for you to take it off

Quickly you discard the layers hiding your chest from him, once your perky nipples were out the Iudex latches his mouth onto them. Nipping and sucking on the nipple, but not forgetting to give the other attention he reaches and pinches the other nipple

Neuvilette felt your walls tighten around him, he picks up his thrust into a merciless pace. Your moans fills his office and possibly the hall outside as you get closer to your climax

“Monsieur, I’m gonna cum!” You cried out

“Go ahead, cum with me!” He instructed

The frantic thrusts become sloppy and soon you both reached your peak

The next day Neuvilette goes on his day wondering if what happened last night was just a figment of his imagination or real, nonetheless he continues on with his work until a knock on the door alerts him

It’s you as cheerful as ever, you happily walked towards him like nothing happened between the two of you. Maybe it was all in his head, the Iudex thought

“Monsieur Neuvilette!”

“Good morning, (y/n).” He greeted trying to ignore the blush creeping up his face

“Is something wrong?”

“No, just having a bit of a hot flash.” Neuvilette reached for a glass of water to drink in an attempt to cool himself down

“You weren’t thinking about last night?” You asked and the Iudex nearly choked on his drink. “You were~” You giggled “Don’t worry, I’ve been thinking of it too.” You lean in towards the hydro sovereign and pulled down your shirt to reveal a lacy bralette underneath. “We can do it again tonight~”

Dear Archons you’re going to be the death of him

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

good guys, bad deeds

pairing: javi p x f!reader

cws/tags: ONLY ONE BED, javi is reader's dad's best friend, minimal physical description (reader has pussy and boobs and wears a tank top and panties), p in v (unprotected bc ... i'm sorry), oral f! receiving, accidentally cumming inside, author does not speak spanish but wishes she did and researched spanish dirty talk but still knows v little, periodic pov switch

summary: reader comes to visit javi in colombia and he only has one bed, so they decide to sleep in it together and shenanigans ensue. it's wrong but it feels so right...

a/n: for the roll a trope challenge! @burntheedges

wc: 3.9k

taglist:

@gothcsz @onlyasimp4-2dbitches @harriedandharassed @withonly-sweetheart

join my taglist

Half the time Javi smokes inside out of stubbornness – he can still hear the voices of ex-girlfriends back in Texas telling him off for it. He has what he intends to be his last cigarette of the day outside because his apartment has begun to make him stir-crazy. With Escobar "behind bars", there's a brief lull in the DEA office. He's become so used to chaos that he thrives off it now.

A taxi pulls up and a young woman steps out - for better or worse, Javi knows a lot of the women who spend their nights on the streets of Bogota and Medellin. This woman is unfamiliar, though the look in her eyes suggests she knows him. He sifts through strings of drunken memories, but can't place her.

Until he hears her voice. "Uncle Javi!" she says, flying into his arms which are not yet open to catch her. He's a DEA agent, a young woman should not be strong enough to knock the wind out of him but you get pretty damn close.

He'd completely forgotten you were coming – but, even if he'd remembered, he wouldn't have recognized you. God, how long has he been away?

You look older. That's what he tells you later, trying to put it as matter-of-factly as possible, trying to sound neutral and indifferent to the fact that a beautiful woman is standing at his doorstep like a baby in a basket, helpless in a foreign world, brought by cab rather than stork.

Javi carts your luggage up the stairs and little does he know that you're practically salivating over the sight of his broad shoulders, his strong arms that could just pick you up and throw you onto the bed–

"Are you planning to stand there all night?" Javi's voice snaps you out of your daydreams.

"Yeah, yeah, of course. I'm so tired, I'm practically falling asleep standing up."

Jet lag can do a number on anyone, but it doesn't help that the flight attendants were happy to provide you with alcohol. You try to act sober, but Javi's a cop, he's trained to call your bluff.

You stumble through the doorstep and you hear him stifle a laugh. "Are you okay? You look drunk."

"I'm not drunk. I had a few drinks on the plane, but I sobered up at the airport while I was waiting for you to come get me."

You watch guilt wash over him, and you almost take back your statement, but you don't. It's a rare opportunity to see Javi flustered, and even if it's not for the ideal reason (in your dirty mind), you'll take it as consolation for his forgetfulness.

"I'm so sorry. I've been so wrapped up in everything here that I completely forgot you were coming."

You shrug it off, not committing to accepting his apology but not wanting to prolong his suffering either. God forbid a man has to take accountability for his actions.

He follows your gaze which travels across the living room, through the kitchen, as far as your eye can see from the entrance where you stand. "I would've tidied up if I'd known I was having a guest."

"I honestly expected worse."

"You think I'm a slob?"

"No, you're a man – a single man – and the apartment of a bachelor is never a clean one."

"Who says I'm single?"

"Your ring finger."

"Maybe I have a fiancée."

"If you did, I don't think you'd be so defensive."

"I like being single."

"I like being single too."

He moves swiftly away from the relationship status conversation. "Unfortunately, I don't have a guest room, so you'll have to sleep on the couch if that's okay…"

"You're making your guest sleep on the couch?"

"Oh, I assumed you'd be more mature."

"I am mature. That's why I'm asking politely and not throwing a tantrum."

"Fine, mija. I give up. We're both too tired to argue."

"We can take turns, so you can have your bed tomorrow."

Taking turns means Javi shares the bed with you.

He strips himself of his shirt and you struggle to keep your composure. You have a better view of his broad chest and big arms with him shirtless and you can see the trail of hair from his belly button leading down to the waistband of his sweatpants, and god, how you want to find the end of it. A happy trail, they call it, but what it makes you feel is something different than happiness, something impure.

"What?" He catches you staring. "It's hot as fuck in here, and it's my room. I sleep shirtless. Take it or leave it."

Take it. You want him to say it to you in a different context.

"Whatever. You better not try anything funny."

"What is that supposed to mean? Do you really think I'm that type of guy?" He seems genuinely offended that you think of him that way.

And, in truth, you doubt he's like that, which is why your fantasies about him 'trying something funny' are a bit unrealistic, but you let them run wild regardless.

"Chill," you say, "I'm kidding."

The truth is that you'd be perfectly fine with any funny business Javi would be willing to offer you. But it's late and it's your first night as a guest in his apartment, so you decide not to try to provoke him.

You fall asleep soon after you tuck yourself in beside him.

It's been quite some time since Javi has been forced to share a bed with someone. Outside of women who stay over - and women rarely stay after the act is finished — he sleeps alone. You don't snore or drool on him which was a positive as he's been with women who did both of those things. He's known sleep talkers and sleep walkers — Lorraine was the former. It isn't until the middle of the night when he's awoken by your stirring that he realizes how cumbersome it will be to sleep next to you. It's a queen-sized bed, which should fit two, especially when one of those two is a young woman. So, why are you practically on top of him? You've managed to roll over, sprawl out, and curl back up to restart the process. You always end up further on Javi's side, so he continues to inch away until he is forced to be up against you lest he fall off the bed and onto the floor.

He tries to sleep as best he can, and prays for the sun — something he's never done before. Javi is hardly a morning person. But, he wakes up again before his alarm sounds. There is one glaring issue, he finds.

It's not his fault that your ass is up against his crotch and that every movement you make inadvertently teases him. It's so unfair that you make him this hard when he can't jerk off. He can't because you're here. Doubly unfair since you did this to him. It's not your fault that you're pretty — too pretty for your own good, whether Javi ends up giving into the primal needs inside him or you end up with another man. Thinking about that gets him harder - not because he likes to think about you with another man, in fact, he hates it, but jealous fuels the fire inside him. If he let his possessive feelings towards you overcome his rationale, he could fuck you the way you deserve, and he's sure you'd enjoy it. You need it, whether you know it or not.

Or, maybe it's just projection, maybe hope. Pretty women make him weak. God forbid you find out and use it against him. Javi's the type to risk it all - money, career, even his life. Not just for pussy - because it's not about that anyway, it never has been. Pussy is easy to come by - in fact, if he gathers enough saliva in his palm and closes his eyes he can almost replicate the feeling by himself. But being with a woman, all soft skin, strangled moans of his name, nails piercing his skin, needy kisses, teeth, tongue, and heartbeat - he hasn't been able to fully satiate that need ever, and he doesn't remember a time before he was a tenderhearted soul in a soldier's body.

Javi could get himself off, it wouldn't take long, but the shower is in the en-suite so he'd wake you up if he turned on the water. Plus, it'd feel wrong having you in the next room while he did such a thing even if he tried not to think about you while he did it, even if you slept in blissful ignorance, pure and untainted by the knowledge of Javi's teeth digging into his fist to muffle a moan as he shudders through his orgasm.

He wasn't thinking about you until your body was pressed up against his own. He doesn't think of you like that, or at last, he didn't. Not before you came to Bogota, appeared in front of him so grown up that he hadn't recognized you at first. You were a girl the last time you stood in front of him, he remembers having to kneel to hug you when he said goodbye. Time has passed and you're fresh out of college now. A woman, not a girl.

He's somewhere between thinking and dreaming when you spring up in bed with a gasp, and on instinct, his hand flies to the bedside table to search blindly for his gun. Until he realizes it's just you. A harmless girl.

Maybe not completely harmless.

He places his hand to his bare chest as he breathes slowly, trying to calm down.

You look like you're on the verge of tears and it pains him. "I'm so sorry, Uncle Javi."

"Mija, don't worry," he says, rubbing your back to calm you, "You just startled me."

"I just had a bad dream," you tell him.

You used to have those when you were younger, he thinks, now I have them too.

"It was just a dream, you're safe." He lies down and nods for you to lie back down too. "I'll keep you safe," he says quieter.

You move closer, facing him, and he lets you because he knows you need comfort more than anything. Javi resists the urge to hold you, worrying you might feel his hard—on through his sweatpants.

He stares - no, gazes - at you for a moment, unsure of what to say. You meet his eyes with a similar look - inquisitive, though you're more curious than he is. Javi feels dread in the face of what he fears is unfolding. You see an opportunity where he sees a warning. Do not go any further, it says. But he hasn't done anything.

Except for lie down next to you rather than taking the couch, and sleep shirtless rather than sweat through a t-shirt. He's more angry at himself for his reluctance to admit that this is a self-indulgent choice no matter how he flips it. Either he's a bad host or he's a bad man.

The answer becomes clearer when you lean in and he closes his eyes instead of pulling back like he should. He doesn't want to embarrass you, he decides. Better not reject you, at least not like this, he should let you down easy. Which he'll certainly do after kissing you.

It's so unfair, Javi thinks. He'd forgotten what it feels like to kiss someone who wants him. Women want his money, at best, his body. Often, both. But Javi is the type of man who wakes up at sunrise so he can slip out before he has to man up and have an awkward conversation over coffee.

Cupping your cheek gently is certainly wrong but so is kissing you, and he's already doing that. He should kiss you sweetly, make this a little more dignified, salvage what's left.

Your lips are soft and it's not your first kiss unless this is an incredible stroke of beginner's luck. Hungry, yet teasing, forcing him to reveal his own desire when you draw back a bit and he has to be the one to reach for you.

He notices you drifting closer to him and before he can make things much, much worse, he snaps out of it and pulls back entirely.

"Querida, we shouldn't… It's not right," he says because he can't say he doesn't want you.

"Why? What's wrong with it? We're both adults, we're sober, we're single…"

"You're much younger than me, and your father is my friend."

"Age is just a number, and what my dad doesn't know, can't hurt him."

He scoffs and rolls his eyes, playing the whole thing off like he isn't grappling with conflicting feelings inside.

"You said you'd never lie to me, right?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Tell me the truth, then, do you want me too?"

"You can't ask questions like that, mija."

"Why, Uncle Javi?"

"That's why. I cannot sleep with someone who calls me 'Uncle Javi'."

"It's not like we're actually related."

"I know that. This wouldn't even be up for discussion if that were the case."

"So it's up for discussion?"

"No. No, it's not. We're not doing it."

He stands up abruptly, does a terrible job of adjusting himself in his sweatpants, and walks towards the bathroom.

"Where are you going?"

"Taking a shower."

"It's past midnight."

"Can a man not take a shower at night?"

"At least be honest and say you're going to jerk off."

"Jesus Christ," he mutters, putting his head in his hands. Then, he turns to you, "I'm going to jerk off. Happy?"

"Can I come with?"

"No. If I wanted you to be with me, I'd just do it in bed."

You pout, disappointed, and he thinks that's your last resort. He nearly lets his guard down as his hand reaches the bathroom door, reaches safety.

But, in a voice that's so familiar yet so foreign coming from your mouth, you ask, "You usually do it right here?"

He stares at you, his body slumps a bit like he's melting as he watches you play with the straps of your top, like you might take it off.

"Javier," you say, seductively.

"Don't do that to me…" he pouts, pleads. He doesn't want to give in.

"I just think we could have a really good time. I mean, I bought these panties for you, but I guess if you don't want to see them, maybe I can find another DEA agent who wants to…"

"I'm not letting you go and whore yourself out to my coworkers."

"Why not? You don't want me."

"I didn't say that. I said 'it's wrong', and it is."

"I guess I can see how it might be wrong from some angles, but I really like you, and I just want to know that you like me back — I just want to be wanted, to know someone thinks I'm good enough."

It's so unfair. Javi has to assume you're acting, but you're doing a great job because your teary eyes are filled with emotion — maybe it is real, he thinks. And that's what lands him back in bed with you.

"I like you," he whispers, "and you know that. I think a lot of guys like you… they don't deserve you, but trust me when I say you're more than wanted."

"I don't want any of them. I only want you." You look up at him with those pleading eyes that have always worked.

"I'm not a good man." he sighs.

"I want you anyway."

"I'm not a good man because I can't help myself."

You look at him with hope shining through you.

"Before we do anything I need you to know that I love you to death but this is sex, not marriage, not a relationship - I want to make you feel good tonight, but tomorrow we go back to normal, got it?"

"You act like you're taking my virginity. I'm not that innocent little girl anymore. I'm not expecting you to fall in love with me, I just want you to fuck me."

He has the knee-jerk instinct to tell you not to swear. but the scowl of disapproval quickly turns to a smile. You're not that innocent, are you?

You grab his face and whisper, "If I'm going to have casual sex anyway, isn't it better if I do it with you?"

"Oh, so now this is all 'casual sex', and I'm just doing damage control by fucking you?"

"My dad asked you to keep me safe, right? If I'm bed with you, I can't get in bed with any other potentially dangerous men."

"I'm always gonna take care of you." he says, dipping down to kiss your neck.

"Javier." It's a drawn-out plea for something, anything. It's the simultaneous gratitude brought about by the relief that washes over you when he agrees to this but the carnal frustration at the anticipation of him, heightened when you feel his erection pressing against your thigh.

You can tell he's big - though, the tightness of his pants leaves little to the imagination regardless. Nervousness strikes you because he's Javi. He thinks you don't know how much of a womanizer he is. As if you've ever been stupid enough to believe the marks on his neck were just razor burn or that he had no idea where the pair of panties in his glove compartment came from.

You don't dare ask how many women he's slept with, you don't need to know the number to know you have a laundry list of competition. You won't be his best - that much you know - still, you can't be his worst.

All your worries move to the background when you remember that Javier is kissing you, tugging down the straps of your top, kissing your neck, your collarbone, your chest. Your heart swells at his gentle devotion, but your core aches for him as your much dirtier fantasies flit around your mind.

You would never have guessed Javier would be into this type of sweet and slow sex. Most men you've been with want you in a way that feels more perverse, more distant.

Javi lets his hands wander along your skin, he teases you and marvels at your reaction. He doesn't just grip you, he holds you.

You shouldn't be as surprised as you are when he grabs your ankles and pulls you to the edge of the bed before kneeling with his head positioned between your thighs.

"You said you wore these for me?" he asks, fingers toying with the waistband of your underwear.

"Yeah. I remember finding a similar pair in your car once, and so I thought you might like these."

"You'd look good in anything, but you did a good job picking these out. Definitely my taste."

"You can keep them."

His eyes flicker with something, something you've been dying to see. "What are you going to wear?"

"I have more, like, ever color."

"They're all for me or just these ones?"

"All for you." The statement holds greater weight than the thin lace fabric, and surely he knows that.

There is desire in his eyes when he flicks his tongue along your folds for the first time.

Javi decides that if he's going to indulge, he shouldn't indulge half-heartedly. He should not be doing this, but you deserve to feel good. Someone else should do this for you, but no one else is here. It's Javi's responsibility to take care of you. He's just helping you sleep, that's what he tells himself when he gets a taste of you and knows he's so incredibly and utterly fucked. He groans into you, and you return a prettier sound.

He's too old to be this hard, this hungry for a woman. The most unfair part of it all is that Javi doesn't need sex, he doesn't need the touch of a woman. He needs you. Forbidden fruit always tastes the sweetest.

Your voice shakes when you say his name, warning him of your impending orgasm. He massages your hipbones as if to say, "you're going to be okay, just let go". You look embarrassed when you come down from your high so he makes a point of staying between your legs, locking eyes while his tongue gathers every drop you give him, and smiling when he wipes his lips with his thumb.

The predicament lies between his own legs. The question still stands stiff and painfully hard. Should he allow himself the pleasure of fucking up? Of fucking.

You notice his hesitation. "Javier, I want it too, you know?"

"It's still a mistake."

"Everyone makes mistakes… maybe you could just allow yourself to make one - for me."

Making one mistake surely isn't enough to make you a bad person.

"Don't you ever get tired of being the good guy?"

He smirks at you. "Yes. Yes, I do."

Patience is a virtue, and not one you have.

"I'll do it for you," you say, tugging down his sweatpants, watching his cock spring out.

"Puta madre," he says, as you stroke his length, running your finger over the tip, kissing it with the pad of your thumb, "if you keep touching me like that I'm not gonna last."

Javi stifles his curses in English, ultimately ending up settling for Spanish at the rare moments he can find words at all. Clearly he forgets that you speak enough Spanish to understand what he's saying, but you let him think you don't because the things he says are even sexier than what he says in your daydreams.

He drags the head of his cock along your folds, coating himself with your wetness.

"Que cosa tan linda," he says under his breath, marveling at your body, fully naked in front of him.

"Please," you whine, and he nods, silent but committed.

"Mira como me toma," he says as he eases inside you finally.

He keeps the rhythm of his thrusts slow until you beg for him to go faster. Harder, deeper, more, more, more.

"¿Te gusta eso eh?" His voice is thick with lust, he's not even talking to you, not really, just running his mouth unable to help it.

Soon, it's nothing but curses through gritted teeth accompanied by the slick sounds of your arousal.

"Quiero que me hagas tuyo" you finally give up the game when he's about to cum.

It's not the fact that you want to be his that takes him over the edge unexpectedly, it's the way you say his name and he knows you already are. You hold onto him for dear life, locking your legs around his hips and forcing him deeper, your inner walls flutter around him, and he is helpless against the tidal wave of ecstasy that crashes over him.

He's dizzy after you suck the life out of him, but his rational mind returns when he pulls out and watches cum drip out of you.

Javi panics, momentarily considers every horrible possibility and every solution - will he have to fake his own death and leave the country? But your soothing touch as you gently pull him closer, your relaxing voice accompanying it, calms him.

He buys you the morning after pill and feeds it to you along with the best breakfast he can conjure up as an apology.

You thank him, but just before he thinks he's in the clear, you say, "if you really wanted to make it up to me, you could eat your breakfast in bed…"

He's about to say 'no', but you wink, and instead, he says, "Fine. But just this once."

spanish translations:

Que cosa tan linda = what a pretty thing

Mira como me toma = look at how well it takes me

¿Te gusta eso eh? = you like that eh?

Quiero que me hagas tuyo = i want you to make me yours

this post helped me lots!!

[lewlewlemon44]

Honeymoon SMAU | LH44

Pairing- reader! x Lewis Hamilton

Warnings- 18+, suggestive content, swearing.

Summary- you and Lewis get married and share part of your honeymoon with your fans.

yourinstagram

yourinstagram We did it! I finally married the love of my life. There is not better feeling than this! I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you @lewishamilton, you are the most amazing person I have ever met, and I can’t express how proud am to be your wife. ❤️

lewishamilton love you babe, I never imagined that one day I’d marry someone as amazing as you❤️

SusieWolff congratulations you two! The ceremony was so beautiful💜

yourinstagram thank you Susie

fencer best night ever bruvs

->yourInstagram would’ve been better if you didn’t come looking for Lew and I but whatever

->Fencer Carmen was looking for him! It was either me or her so just be happy it was only me that had to witness that

->spinzbeatsinc I tried to warn you not to look for them, they can barely keep their hands to themselves without a giant event celebrating their love for one another

->lewishamilton we get it, thanks guys

->teamLH omfisgsgedjg poor Miles

mercedesf1 Mr and Mrs Hamilton💜

F1 Congratulations Mr and Mrs Hamilton! Can’t wait to see you both in the paddock again!

landonorris does this mean I can call you mum now?

->yourInstagram of course son

->landonorris 😎

mrsnorris4 sidgensjdbeb they’ve adopted Lando!

y/nstan oh so we're just going to ignore the 3rd picture... okay

->pierregasly Lewis will kill us if we do

->likedbypierregassleee BBG LEWIS? NO SHOT

->charlesleclerc might look bbg but he's a trained fighter, just ask Max or Fernando

yourbestfriend love you guys! ps this does mean Lewis can stop being my sugar daddy

->yourinstagram of course not, he knows the rules

yourinstagram story

lewishamiltoninstagram story

yourinstagram

yourinstagram one day into the honeymoon and he's already being a dick but whatever, still love you.❤

yourbestfriend girl what did I tell you? take sex away from him when he's being sassy.

->yourintagram how do you know I didn't?☹

->yourbestfriend did you?

->lewishamilton nope

->lewy/n fudeutyujdehgfyuhtgs

lewishamilton I've been a dream, what you talking about?

->yourinstagram babe I've posted the evidence; you threw me in the water and also flipped me off when I asked if you packed the towels.

->lewishamilton nah not true

->maxverstappen we can see it Lewis

->lewishamilton see what?

luluham NOT LEWIS TRYING TO GASLIGHT EVERYONE

liked by youinstagram, maxverstappen and pierregasly

sebastainvettel looks like a lot of fun, enjoy this time before you start having kids!

liked by lewishamilton and yourinstagram

->rb!seb LMAO SEB

lewishamilton love you too sweetie❤

lewishamiltoninstagram story

yourinstagram story

lewishamilton

lewishamilton so lucky to be your husband, kinda miss our son tho .❤

landonorris awe miss you too, dad

->roscoelovescoco 😑

-> y/nstan LEWIS GHUIFH

yourinstagram I'm the lucky one❤

lewy/nsupremacy OMG THEY WENT GO KARTING

danielriccardo who won tho?

->yourinstagram me, of course

->lewishamilton huh?

roscoelovescoco mums so prettys

->yourinstagram thank you Ros, miss you little buddy

->LHitaly oh my god thats so cute

yourinstagram story

youinstagram

yourinstagram look at my man @lewishamilton 🤤

lewishamilton ❤

danielriccardo i'd be shocked if you don't come back pregnant.

liked by lewishamilton and yourinstagram

->landonorris ewww no

->alexalbon don't worry Lando, it's just the stork.

nicolashamilton no, thank you.

->hamiltonbrothers i dont think I can look at him the same

stansunite THEY LIKED DANIELS COMMENT WE'RE GOING TO GET A LEWY/N BABY IN 9 MONTHS

->deluluforlulu OMG THAT BABY WILL BE SO CUTE

->y/nstan imagine the content we'd get omg

[iid-smile]

can't get rid of me , fushiguro toji

a strong legacy to be left behind , chapter one

the series masterlist. | previous | next

cw: profanity, mentions of pregnancy (pills) but filtered for megumi's sake, mentions of violence in prison, you're broke, smoking cigarettes

author's note: sigh... im out of my fluff era 😞 (sorry guys) kinda wanted to write something that i think would actually happen in some sort of alternate jjk universe and um idk how far to go because this kind of stuff does happen in the manga, but writing it feels illegal??? idk...

"mom?" megumi peeks out from around the corner in the hallway. "who was calling?"

another groan escapes your lips, around the fifth one in the last three minutes, and you silence your phone once again. "your— excuse my language, shitty deadbeat dad keeps wanting to call me." you slap your hand across your forehead and lean back on the couch, a small creak coming from somewhere below. "apparently he's getting aggressive in prison. shut off the house phone, but they still found my number..."

your son comes closer to you, and you scoop him up, placing him by your side. he glances up at you, and you swear your fight or flight instincts nearly kicked in, (not that you'd be able to fight of a guy as big as toji anyways) flinching slightly from his sharp gaze. it sucks how he looks so much like his dad, because you loved megumi so much. but the image of that guy was almost too much to bear, and he's the spitting image.

"shitty?" he repeats. for a well-behaved kid, he really doesn't respect your words.

"don't say that megs, it's bad language." you swear around him all of the time, so what's the point in scolding him? "only your mama can say it."

"don't tell me what to do."

wow. okay. why do you feel threatened by a six year old? "damn, you've got his attitude too." you mutter, but you've only got yourself to blame for that. you knew you were never cut out to be a mother, so your ways of parenting weren't the best.

he snuggles closer to you, and you openly accept, moving your free hand to his hair to rub over it. "why can't i see toji?"

ah, this lovely story again. "because he left me as soon as you were born, love." really, you couldn't and didn't want to stop yourself from wrapping him up in your arms, feeling the need to protect him. "at this point, he's dead to me. seems like he doesn't feel the same though... i'm so sick of his ass." you also knew it wasn't good parenting to rant to your child about adult issues, but you've only got him to talk to.

that hug was out of comfort then. why are you lying to yourself?

he looks up at you with an irritatingly cute but blank face. "why?"

"god, i hate how many questions you ask." you speak under your breath once again, looking up at the ceiling from any sort of help from a higher being. the amount of times you've had to family-friendly-ify things that have happened isn't even funny. you're not naturally rated u for universal. it's more embarrassing when he recites those same stories to his teachers, and you get called into the school for a little talk.

yikes... here we go. "he lied when he said he gave me the right magical candy after we visited the stork. tried to make it drop you off back to where babies are made in heaven, but i wanted it to deliver you to me, whether he liked that or not." the story's got to be a little filtered somehow. you'd rather not get yourself in the principal's office again. "you're my little hero; a miracle to me. i would've given up on myself ages ago. your dad is a bad, bad man."

the type that would kill. if he found where you lived, or perhaps where megumi goes to school...

"and now i'm left broke in an apartment that barely functions, yet i still spoil my little hero." you sing-song, leaning your head back. "and with what money? i'm broke as hell, megs. can't even make both of us breakfast in the morning cuz your elementary school is too damn expensive."

"is this my fault?"

"...no. no, baby, of course not." you furrow your eyebrows more, a small pout in your lips. "if anything, you made my situation a bit more fortunate."

it's a selfish way of thinking, using your child to avoid solving your problems, using your child to wail and complain about how much you hate your life, but you've got nothing to lose. nothing to lose except for the one person you love.

you can feel your phone buzzing again.

"you stay here and watch tv, okay? mama's gonna go to the kitchen and talk to her friend." he seems a bit relieved as you let go of him, and you stand up.

you hear him mutter. "it's only playing the news though..." no shit it only plays the news, you can't afford to get a good television company that has any kids shows. that is, unless you wanna get scammed out of all of your money.

begrudgingly, you make your way to the kitchen, confirm that you closed the door completely, and answer the vibrating device. "hello?" you sigh, placing the device over your ear.

the other person on the call replies quickly. "is this miss—"

"yeah, yeah, it is. what the hell do you want?"

"um... we apologise, but we strongly suggest that you come to the prison building. he—" the guy's voice cracks. must be really nervous. "pardon me. he's been physically assaulting other inmates and guards, he doesn't follow orders, he never leaves his cell unless it's to visit the closed visits room. you know, in hopes that you'll come..."

obsessed much? where was this energy six years ago? "that's got nothing to do with me."

"please, ma'am. he won't listen to anyone, and we are unable to place him into special facilities as he doesn't emit any cursed energy." ah, he's begging? that's a first. you never would've thought you'd hear a person who works at a prison begging.

cursed energy, cursed energy, this talk again and again and again. "urgh..." you take a deep breath. your options are limited, and they won't stop calling until they can get that lunatic to calm down... surprise, surprise, you really don't want to go.

but if you were really uninterested in him, wouldn't you have already spent the bail money that's been sat on the counter for ages, neatly concealed in an envelope? wouldn't you have paid off all of your debts already? "will i— hm..." choose your words carefully, goddamn it. "can i get a reward of some sort if i go? money?"

"yes, yes! please do visit. there's nothing we can legally do to him in check anymore." ...you think this guy sounds a little too eager.

damn toji and his "supernatural powers", or else you wouldn't get yourself into this mess. finally, after your moment of silence, you respond. "okay. i'll visit."

"thank you—!" you cut off the line.

"fucking bastard..." you drop your phone on the counter, running your hands through your hair and over your face. "stressing me out for what? you don't even love me." your words turn into whispers. with haste, you rummage through your back pocket, trying to find those last few cigarettes, but as your hands were occupied, your eyes moved over to the ashtray that was collecting dust on top of the microwave. oh, right... you don't smoke anymore because there's no ventilation indoors.

you'd have to head out if you wanted to, but then megumi would be in the apartment on his own. and nobody can babysit, because you don't have anybody to ask to babysit. great, you can't smoke until monday. it's a friday afternoon. you have two whole days to get through!

you know for a fact your addiction won't hold out for that long.

[uyuforu]

Pick-a-Card: Your Future Spouse

₊ ⊹ ALLEGEDLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY₊ ⊹

pile 1 -> pile 2

piles 3 -> pile 4

pick an image and scroll down to read your reading

Pile 1 - ₊˚⊹♡

Ekta Oracle: The medicine; The bunny; The arts; The road + The mind

Celeste Astrokiff Oracle: Winter; Aries; The man; Treason + Pluto

Original Tarot de Marseille: The tower; 3 of pentacles; 7 of swords; Queen of wands; The moon reversed; 5 of pentacles reversed + The lovers

Botticelli Tarot de Marseille: 8 of wands; The lovers; 5 of cups; 6 of pentacles; Ace of wands; 10 of wands + The stars

Lenormand Oracle: The choice; The fox; The well; The ink; The howls; The storks + The ring

Love Languages Oracles: A place to live; The unsaid; To be peaceful; Social medias + Wing of change

𓆞𓆝 𓆟 Don't forget that it's a general reading so take what resonates. If you don't resonate with this pile, you can choose another one. If you don't resonate with any of the piles, it just means there is no messages for you today. Don't take informations you are not comfortable with, and take care of yourself 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

-> Just starting with the reading and I can feel it right there, you and your FS are soulmates. This is a divine union, a protected relationship, and nothing was a coincidence in your meeting. It seems like this person will make you very much happy, you will feel blessed to have them in your life. You will feel so much lucky, it seems like this person was the magical cure you needed in your life. Now, I don't see a Prince Charming kind of vibe, I see this as an angel here helping you grow and evolve, and just being your daily dose of sunshine. This person will help you motivate yourself on life, they will be such a good supporter, even your number one fan. I feel like you might even become a leader or just even more motivated in your projects because of them. They will help you out to realize and use all of your inner potential. You might often run from reality, finishing your tasks or projects, or just refuse to be too serious, and this person will help you accept reality. They will help you realize this is not such a bad world as you may think it is. They may even help you be more stable in your life, they will literally be a wake up call from the universe. You will feel so thankful for the universe to have them by your side.

-> It's definitely a planned meeting, divinely organized. You may have been lovers in a past life too, so it will fee like you already know this person who you meet them. Some of you may have met this person before, and so you know them already. Some didn't meet them already. This person will help you a lot regarding your career. They could be a future or current co-worker of yours, but it doesn't seem like this detail really matters. What matters is that this person will make you develop all of your big potentials in your career. You will feel very successful because of this person, and you will definitely have a lot of money. This could also mean they are successful and so have any contacts, they will help you a lot with all the resources they have.

-> This person could be born in winter or spring, or you could meet them at that time. Aries, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, Sagittarius, Gemini, Scorpio are important signs here. Your FS could appear quite cold and distant at first, but they have a very warm heart. They are someone who fight for what they want, they are not scared to make a move or change things, they will get what they want. Very ambitious. A go-getter. Very. masculine energy. They could be scared of treason too, could have enemies. So they might protect their back often, to earn their trust you need to prove yourself. This person might be a fast talker, or they just walk very fast. They have a very quick energy. They could work in the arts, medical fields. They are not scared how long the road is, for them the destination is what matter the most. Also, they don't care because they will run there lol. They are very quick minded and very smart too, could be a very logical person too. Very mature person. I feel like they are very stable in their life. You could meet them on social medias, or they are active on social medias. Social medias seem important here. This person will be your home, and you could feel like home from the first time you meet them. Even if this person seem very busy, it seems like they are not stressed, and they will also help you with that too.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to like (even comment your pile if you want) and follow for more content ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

Pile 2 - ₊˚⊹♡

Ekta Oracle: The time; The ribbon; The balance; The mind + The knight

Celeste Astrokiff Oracle: Treason; Saturn; The guide; Earth reversed + 3H reversed

Original Tarot de Marseille: The tower reversed; 7 of cups; The hanged man reversed; The pope; Ace of wands reversed; The chariot + King of pentacles reversed

Botticelli Tarot de Marseille: 7 of cups reversed; The hang man; Queen of cups; Ace of pentacles; The empress; The hermit + King of wands reversed

Lenormand Oracle: The ship; The ink; The dices; The knight; The woman; The man + The cross

Love Languages Oracles: Trickery; The impediments; The key of destiny; To feel attractive + The reconciliation

𓆞𓆝 𓆟 Don't forget that it's a general reading so take what resonates. If you don't resonate with this pile, you can choose another one. If you don't resonate with any of the piles, it just means there is no messages for you today. Don't take informations you are not comfortable with, and take care of yourself 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

-> There is a very masculine vibe from this pile, and it feels cold, distant, and very logical. That person is someone who value timing, and being patient. They could have a lot of wisdom and think patience is the real thing in life. So they could be slow, or just a person who is considered slow, but only by rushed people. They don't car much about other people. This person is very logical, they don't work with their hearts but mostly with their head. The could be a lawyer too, or work with Justice, the government, something similar to that. I think this person is very collected, they are not emotional or don't show their emotions that easily. When I pulled the first card, I got such a Capricorn & Saturn energy, so funny that I got the Saturn card too, it's a confirmation. This person is attached to their routine, and they don't like changements. They may also loving that everything is balance, and living an healthy lifestyle is important to them. They could appear older, or are older than you. I don't think this person is spiritual, but they are guided, and they may feel it but it doesn't seem like an awaken soul. This person is also an introvert for sure. They may feel awkward with strangers and don't open up easily at all.

-> Now, do you know this person? Could be for some of you, but I don't think so to be honest. This person has quite a story to me. It seems like they got brokenhearted. I think they literally had some sort of treason in their life by their ex partner. This could be cheating, lies, have been manipulated, gaslighting, etc. But something similar. It deeply hurt your Future Spouse, and they feel blocked for relationships now. They feel like they should keep their heart guarded, and not let anyone in from now on. This experience literally crushed their heart and destroyed them. I think it was def a lesson for them, but it created a trauma. For them, it was the end. And once you have a trauma, it's very hard to face it again. Almost impossible for a while. And this person seems like they are walking away from it, but their pain is still there. Deeply, I think this person still wants to get married later, but is def super scared. They feel like giving up, and they feel like they should move on from this idea. It seems hard for them to actually let anyone else enter their heard again. Very pessimistic at this idea. To them, it seems like humans are no good, and everyone is full of bad intention. Pretty sure this person was either married or engaged, or at least it was a strong commitment, a serious one. It wasn't just a random partner, they actually thought the person who betrayed them was the one. So I think this person now is trying to move on, but it seems like they prefer to move on alone. They can see selfish, or just cold, awkward by other people who don't know them, because of what happened.

-> Now, let's talk about you! This is my favorite part of the reading. I told you this person was ready to give up on the relationships, but that's because they don't know you yet! The thing is, you'll enter this person's life like a savior, like a knight. You'll come and rescue them from the darkness. It's def something that is destined, like it's organized by the divine. You are the key to this person's heart. Now, will it be easy? No lol. But you will def change this person's opinion on marriage and relationships. This person has been broken and you'll help them collect the pieces and heal their heart. This person will start to see a different point of view in life and even in themselves, you'll help them being more confident. You'll help them believe in love again, because they will fall in love with you. You will def get married later. They will see you as a gentle soul, a romantic person, such a nice and sweet heart, you will be their sunshine. There is a lot of feminine energy to you, but could be also in their point of view. You will make them so happy, and they will literally worship you? Like seeing you as their queen/ king, their loved one, they will be so proud to have you by their side. They will learn a lot from you, and they will have so much respect for you, my god I have so much love right now in my heart :(((( You will help this person open up, so don't be surprised one day if they literally cry in front of you, it's literally the most beautiful thing that will happen. They will let it all out.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to like (even comment your pile if you want) and follow for more content ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

Pile 3 - ₊˚⊹♡

Ekta Oracle: The bee; The link; The office; The couple; The man + The heart

Celeste Astrokiff Oracle: Uranus; Chiron reversed; New moon; Solar eclipse + The ruin

Original Tarot de Marseille: Ace of sword reversed; Temperance reversed; The strength; The pope; The devil reversed; The justice + 4 of cups reversed

Botticelli Tarot de Marseille: 5 of wands reversed; Death; Ace of cups; Jack of pentacles; The fool reversed; The empress; Jack of wands + The high priestess

Lenormand Oracle: The bridge; The book; The moon; The well; The lucky charm; The scythe + The swans

Love Languages Oracles: The unsaid; Magnetic relationship; Break-up Total Success + Cheating

𓆞𓆝 𓆟 Don't forget that it's a general reading so take what resonates. If you don't resonate with this pile, you can choose another one. If you don't resonate with any of the piles, it just means there is no messages for you today. Don't take informations you are not comfortable with, and take care of yourself 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

-> This pile is pretty confusing to be honest. I think you know this person? And something happened with them. Here is what I'm seeing. This person is someone who is busy, they may work a lot, or just has a busy life. You guys had a good connection, you were very attached, and maybe still are today. You may have dated or be a couple before, or you could have had feelings for each other. You may have wanted or been in a relationship with this person. This person can be a man, or have masculine energy. But there is something that happened, like a fight? It's like someone suddenly can't do it anymore and just go away? (I have the image of people fighting and one just throw stuff off a table lol). You could have been coworkers too. Or you could still be. This person may also be like a butterfly style of person, meaning they like to visit a lot of different flowers... you know what I mean. It means they may not have been ready for a relationship before, they prefer to flirt with many people, go on many dates, enjoy being single like that. And it may have hurt you. If you were in a relationship, there could have been some sort of cheating?

-> So you guys are not talking right now, and if you were in a relationship, you broke up now. You guys had such a good and amazing chemistry, and even you remember that. But it seems like despite that, things just ended. I think there were some lies, if not cheating. This person lied to you about something, or avoided the truth. You could have done that too. Maybe also not being honest with each other's feelings. Someone could have cheated, or it felt like it. Or maybe someone thought the other cheated why it wasn't the case. In any ways, there is a separation now. And I think you are not talking at the moment. But, there are still hope. To be honest, it feels like the connection is not over (obviously, this is your future spouse) but what I mean is that you can even feel it. There is a feeling of still having hope, and still feeling the link. And it seems like the separation was meant for you both to realize what went wrong, and how can you fix it. Despite whatever happened, you still love this person and they still love you. You may be not talking, but you guys think about each other a lot.

-> I think this is a divine union, like you guys have a soul link, whatever it is. The "break-up" or separation was meant for you both to work on yourself. What triggered you in this connection is what you should work on. Any toxic patterns, any triggers, work on it. Heal and work on yourself. It seems like you think there is no hope for the connection, but there is still. It feels like something is about to start over, but with good intentions. Like as if there were a huge storm, and it needed to rain, and once the rain is over, there is sunshine. It feels like that. Starting over. You guys can't move on from each other. Now, it feels like this person will message you or contact you. You will not. I think this person is seeing you as their divine counter part. It could also be that once you start working on yourself, they may want to contact you. You will def receive a piece of information from this person, something you had no idea about. They may have kept a secret, or they may reveal what they really feel for you. Or it may also be unexpected contact or message. It seems like they will take a chance, like contacting you, and revealing something to you. And it's something you didn't expect. You really will not see that coming. I think there will be some sort of long term proposition, and you will accept it. You guys will see each other again, and there is high hope for reunion!

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to like (even comment your pile if you want) and follow for more content ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

Pile 4 - ₊˚⊹♡

Ekta Oracle: The brain; The island; The 3 bamboos; The deer + The fire

Celeste Astrokiff Oracle: The happiness; 12H; Earth; North Node + 11H

Original Tarot de Marseille: 5 of pentacles; 7 of wands; 6 of pentacles; Ace of cups reversed; Temperance reversed; The hermit + The stars reversed

Botticelli Tarot de Marseille: The justice; Knight of wands; Jack of pentacles; 6 of wands; The judgment; Ten of cups + 5 of wands reversed

Lenormand Oracle: The scythe; The dices; The lucky charm; The sun; The ring; The doors + The man

Love Languages Oracles: Softness & Tender-sweet; Home; Total Success; Karmic Connection + The beginning

𓆞𓆝 𓆟 Don't forget that it's a general reading so take what resonates. If you don't resonate with this pile, you can choose another one. If you don't resonate with any of the piles, it just means there is no messages for you today. Don't take informations you are not comfortable with, and take care of yourself 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

-> This person may be someone smart, someone who knows a lot, someone curious. They could also love to travel, and love to learn from this. They could also love to be alone, or the be in their own bubble, their own world. This person is pretty optimistic, and they could also have a lot of intuition. Could be a fire sign. Or could just be passionate. I also have the masculine energy here. But it's someone who has a balance energy. This person can be spiritual, or they could be religious. They feel a sort of link to a divine force. They could also be intuitive and connected, without actually calling it spiritual. I feel like they could also have a balanced natal chart, meaning the earth, air, water and fire energies are all balanced. They could be good at organizing their finances. Extrovert person. I don't think you know this person yet. This person works hard for their money, and they are someone right when it comes to work ethic. They will not lie, not cheat, and they want justice. They could work in something related to money or finances. They could also have their own business or their own company. They are good at handling stuff, tasks, projects, and they are hard working. A natural leader. And because they work good and make smart move, they can actually make any of their projects successful? This person is generous too when it comes to their money, and they know where to place it.

-> I don't think this person is focused on relationships right now, and I think they are single. They could have a hard time to balance their life between work and personal life, so I think it's unbalanced right now. Meaning they may spend too much time at work, and not enough with their loved one. It will be something you will teach them to do. Or remind them to do. They could have honestly lose hope about relationships? Or just felt like it's a waste of time. Despite that, I feel like they will be the one to give an offer, you guys could meet at work or related to money. When you meet, they could be the one asking you on a date, or just making you see they are interested. Of course, you will be in a relationship, obviously. But I think there is not resistance, I mean that you will also be interested. There is no games with this person. This will feel like a great love. A sort of love at first sight could happen too. But you guys will feel like you are in a fairytale. The honeymoon phase will be long for you. You will feel so at home with each other, this is definitely a divine connection. A lot of love and pda. And to be honest, you guys could be in a relationship together quite fast. And a proposal could also happen fast.

-> I think this person will ask you to marry them very fast, because they love you so much and they will just feel so euphoric about their feelings for you. They will just take a leap of faith, and ask you to marry them. But as I said, it will be fast. Like not even a year of dating? Pretty sure more fast than that. But you will hesitate. Not because you don't love them, you will LOVE that person. But it seems like you will be logical at that point, and may feel like it's too soon? You may say no, and this person will see that as hardship. They will feel sad about it. I don't think you will break up, this person will see that as a challenge. Mostly because everything turned out in their favor before, and you are the first hardship? Lol. They will wait again and make sure to ask again later...

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to like (even comment your pile if you want) and follow for more content ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

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