#the mars volta reference

[gentleoverdrive]

[22/300] Now I'm lost...

There's never been as good a time to start something as now. It doesn't have to be an explosion that propels you on to greater and new heights or any of that schlock, you just need to start it now. --- The decision to walk that path is just as important as the part of the process where one starts to put things into motion. And while this might come off as choppy, cliched motivational talk it's legit true: Taking the decision to embark upon something helps solidify the steps that'll come to follow. --- But you have to say it: Say it out loud, even if it's only to yourself. Write it down on a corkboard/whiteboard/etc near where you sleep. And try to follow through with it. Believe you me, it helps. Now, let's make beauty happen, a'ight? Read you later, alligator!

[57sfinest]

i wanted to look at the symbolism of the ocean in disco elysium because it features so prominently in the setting. insulinde being an isola comprised of islands, martinaise as a port town financially anchored by its ocean trade. the divisions brought by water that we see in the geography: how the canal separates the working district of martinaise from the even poorer, commerce-less village-- how the river esperance separates the worst ghettos of revachol and jamrock from the more rebuilt and financially stable districts-- how, for example, lilienne looks across the bay of revachol to the wealthy district of la delta, a poignant moment of separation between someone desperately poor and the towers of wealth built out of the ruins of revachol. we see water, and often the sea specifically, acting as a divider in various contexts. 

the ocean of time and distance that separates dora and harry, that separates klaasje from oranje:

then, further into the idea of the ocean as representative of time: in various contexts i see the ocean as representing the past. memory residing under the waves, and each of us living above water-- in the present-- but often still helpless to the tides when we’re not careful. to me this is cemented by the implication that the pale is commonly theorized as an *outer ocean* (juxtaposed with harry’s introspective skill, inland empire!!): the pale is the past, and if the pale is seen as an outer ocean, then right there is a tangible connection between the two. memory and the past as an ocean, dangerous if you don’t respect its power, but ultimately navigable. there is frequent reference made to the fact that the bombed ruins of martinaise are sinking or lost into the ocean, lost to the past, now only memory. 

and harry, who is living in the past and being consumed by nostalgia like a rot, drives his car into the ocean. harry’s badge, which is conflated with his identity in the aftermath of his amnesia, was underwater before he pulled it from the car: until he got it, his entire identity was lost with his memory in the past. klaasje’s documents, too, presumed lost to the ocean, a loss of who she was or claimed to be (until you meet the phasmid). lilienne’s husband was lost to the waves, and in the same lines she’ll dismiss your concerns-- he’s in the past now, she’s really not too upset. the cleaning lady, abandoned by the world, who has only her own memories for company in her sea-beaten room. in the context of ruby’s near-suicide in the shack, how inland specifies how the “waves had calmed” as she put the gun away: ruby distancing herself from the past that she thinks is chasing her to form a better plan. the working-class husband, who, had his corpse fallen through the boardwalk into the ocean, would have been lost to the past, living only in the memory of billie and their daughters.

for me, the final dream had some of the heaviest but most subtle inclusions of the ocean symbolism. it’s brought on by looking into the ocean around the seafort and takes place under the ocean somewhere. even before the dream, dora is alluded to in the context of the sea. she moved across the ocean and now, to him, she’s lost under it. she’s trapped in his memory.

where we see things half-submerged or partially oceanic, we see a bridge between the past and the present being represented. something partially lost to the past but still with a foot in the here and now. harry’s half-sunken car, in part a representation of his career: part of his past, yes, but still very much in his present. one of the primary spiritual practices we hear of is the volta do mar: originally a palefarer’s practice to keep them grounded in an onslaught by the past, and its meaning is *return from the sea*. when harry tries to turn back time, he wants to go back to a time when the sun had not yet sunk into the sea-- when the light in his life didn’t reside solely in the past.

also in this context, something that really struck me was how harry will sometimes think of himself in the context of the sea. first is the sea monster thought, brought about by the broken plaza: him as a creature submerged in the past, terrorizing the present. and seafaring brought up to represent a kind of compromise between living in the present and acknowledging the draw of nostalgia. even joyce in her limited knowledge of harry compares him to a “half-submerged ruin”. and when harry is prompted into introspection by the dros predicament, inland empire becomes the *inland sea*.

and i really want to make a final, individual point of this. the whirling-in-rags music is sea power’s song “fire escape in the sea”. there is an explicit reference made to the song by shivers as well, and i think the choice of this song is very intentional. the whirling-in-rags is where harry forgot his whole life, the whole world, and it’s where he wakes up and begins to piece it all back together. the whirling-in-rags is harry’s fire escape in the sea. his bridge between his past and his present, his last-ditch attempt at escape from the tortures of his subconscious. 

(this is by no means exhaustive, there are a lot of other moments where the sea comes in, but i included the moments that spoke to me most. you’re welcome to add your own!)

[noshowjericho]

don't know if i've ever mentioned this somewhere but I'd like to talk about the fact that voltas are a real and surprisingly difficult to encounter type of poetic structure! Personally I've seen them in the context of the Lusiadas (a classic Portuguese novel about the first navigation of Europe to south Africa and then eventually India). Sadly, I don't remember how the actual structure went but I'll look into asking some professors during the week!

Also another note, I'm pretty certain this is like an actual concrete reference and not just my usual batshit reaches because of Volta do Mar which references the navigations made by Portugal- anyway do with that what you will, just thought that was neat

you can read a bit about it here but I'll try to find some more info about actual voltas and not vilancetes/cantigas/glossas

[binomech]

I’ve talked about how I think the past defines, haunts and shackles Kim (his seolite grandparents coming to Insulinde, the commune’s fate that it shared with his parents, the presence of the coalition in Revachol and its moralist ideals, his experience as a seolite gay man in the RCM, eyes’ death) and how he cannot let himself not be haunted because it’s a reminder of all the things that could happen to him if he slips for a second. He wears the aerostatic brigade jacket as armor against oblivion (+1 Volta do Mar against the Pale, the physical embodiment of all things forgotten).

He states that his preferred medium for thought is his Mnemotechnique notebook, which is an A6 size (extremely portable), equipped with two pens (just in case) and brought out constantly throughout the story in case-related contexts (even the notes regarding Harry are framed in a professional let’s-see-this-through way, and you can see he keeps notes for previous cases on the Cuno route) and references memory in its very name.

I think this fear of the unknown, of forgetting his place, of losing the important things is informed by many things in his personal history and is shown through many aspects of his dialog in the game, but I want to talk about his gun and his camera.

His Kiejl A9 Armistice is stated to be a single-shot (presumably Kim brought ammo along) – The two shots he can take are the shot at the belt buckle, and the shot at Ruud. His shots have to matter in the heat of the moment, he only gets one chance.

Much like his gun shots, his camera shots are also limited: He brings the Trigat Sunshine Mini and two glass ampoules that break whenever he takes a picture to release the ink. Even Harry is aware of how precious they are if he has enough Interfacing. The two pictures that can be taken are of Ellis Kortenaer’s hanged corpse, and of the Insulindian Phasmid.

His eyesight is the lens between him self, his mind and his flesh, and the target of the shot. And much like any lens, it colors and shapes the thing on the other side of it and every interaction of the self and the other is mediated by it. In this case his visual impairment is a big part of that understanding of that which is outside of the self and a big obstacle for getting the self to cooperate with the outside. 

Memory, remembering is something that anchors Kim and sight loss is an obstacle for that as well. You will miss important details (and what if those are the difference between life and death?) and even if you do see them, given enough time, you will forget them alongside things that weren’t minor at all, faces, thoughts, life experiences. This is inevitable for anyone, but made more evident and frustrating when it interferes with the identity you cling to: policeman, driver, the inhabitant of the Revolution’s abattoir.

The photo of the Hanged Man is taken to show something you want to understand but don’t to someone else who might (Ellis’ tattoos); you can justify it as a necessary part of police work, the cataloguing of evidence and the piecing together of clues. The photo of the Phasmid is also a capturing of the things you cannot comprehend but are a witness to, to communicate something to someone who might understand this wonder. This is also proof of something, but something that you can’t justify using your finite ampoule budget on. 

But Kim, who clings to memory, who records everything in a notebook and dreams of the people he couldn’t save, still takes this picture of something that he couldn’t believe existed until he saw it with his unreliable eyes.

Harry asks if he sees it and, god, yes, he does. And that photo is proof of it, proof of Harry, proof of all the life that is out there that he refuses to let himself imagine. He uses his rare shot to capture this of all things.

Memory is a lens between us and the world: What was, who we were. A photo is the bridge between the past and the present, allowing our memories to remain. Kim’s choice to preserve this thing, unrelated to his role in the RCM, is also a choice to look at the world and all the things that could be forgotten, and wanting them to remain. He has one bullet, two ampoules, one shot at living - use them.

[glass--beach]

going to place my bets here.

fantano - minimum decent 7, especially if he doesnt fuck with the heavier stuff, but most likely light to decent 8, if the stars align and he really fucks with it then strong 8 to light 9. least favorite track either guitar song or whalefall. his review will probably be generally in line with how i feel but he’ll say one thing that yt commenters will give him shit for. will probably reference dismemberment plan (will reference radiohead too but this is so obvious there’s no fun in predicting it)

pitchfork - 7.5 - 7.8 no best new music. very positive review copy if ian cohen writes it, to the point where people will be confused by the number rating, if a different critic writes it then positive but somewhat at a distance

rym - ~3.5 average from some 4.5 & 5 star reviews being pulled down by some 3 star reviews. at least one joke .5 star review from someone who feels like everyone else has gone crazy. anyone who hates it will have some truly odd hangups

aoty - 80 lots of one sentence extremely positive reviews, a few extremely long winded positive reviews, a few 1-3 paragraph long middling reviews

at least one publication that is not a big player in online music reviews will give it a perfect score

if rolling stone or any similar older music mags acknowledge it they will like it but not love it. something about prog rock coming back. will probably reference ok computer and the mars volta

if that professor skye guy acknowledges it his review will permanently make me a less insecure person

full ready to eat my hat if any of these predictions end up way off base

[harpyface]

d&d/wirral au... GO!

featuring wild magic sorcerer harry and artillerist artificer kim

clothing stats below (plus the d&d equivalent) (feat ooh custom kim skills with no context)

RED SUPER *STAR* GLASSES

+1 Composure (Deception): Blinding with starlight

DOUBLE-SLITTED V-NECK DRESS

+2 Electrochemistry (Performance): Shows off your tits *and* thighs

-1 Rhetoric (Investigation): No one makes eye contact with you for some reason

SIMPLE RANGER'S VEST

+1 Shivers (Nature): Listen to the forest

-1 Savoir Faire (Performance): Ill-fitting

HORRIFIC CAPE

+1 Inland Empire (Insight): Vivid imagination

+1 Authority (Intimidation): Regal golden pauldrons

-1 Savoir Faire (Acrobatics): Tripping hazard

GLITTERY FINGERLESS SORCERER'S GLOVES

+1 Inland Empire (Arcana): Uncapped font of magic (your fingers)

+1 Hand/Eye Coordination (Arcana): Perfect aim for your 9mm (your fingers)

GLITTERY SORCERER'S SASH

+1 Inland Empire (Arcana): A strip of fabric torn from the cosmos

GLITTERY SORCERER'S KNEE HIGH BOOTS

+1 Electrochemistry (Performance): Tall legs

-1 Savoir Faire (Acrobatics): Even taller heels

PRESCRIPTION ARTIFICER LENSES

+2 Perception (Perception): Fixes your hyperopia, somewhat

-1 Authority (Intimidation): Mega bino energy

ARTICULATE SCHOLAR'S WAISTCOAT

+1 Reference (History): Evokes a sense of a wizened professor

+1 Kinetic Dressage (Performance): Correct posture

REVOLUTIONARY PIRATE'S COAT

+2 Hand/Eye Coordination (Sleight of Hand): Channel the rifleman's aim

+1 Volta do Mar (Religion): And the poetic resistance to pale

STEADFAST ARTILLERIST'S PANTS

+1 Interfacing (Sleight of Hand): Mechanical thinking

+1 Hand/Eye Coordination (Sleight of Hand): Ammo on hand

POLISHED LEATHER BOOTS

+1 Authority (Perception): Adds some height

+1 Forte (Stealth): Tightly strapped to the knee

-1 Mortar (Arcana): Solidly grounded

CONDITIONED LEATHER GLOVES

+1 Hairtrigger (Acrobatics): Know exactly where your weapon is

-1 Airwave (Insight): Warm hands shielded from the world

[jonahfagnus]

do you have any songs you associate with jonelias? (or just jon and elias separately)

wolf by aliceband - just like… all of it. the vibes are there.

you weren't meant to see that by the rare occasions - again, mostly vibes, but also like. neither of them are good at intimacy or affection or anything. also references to seeing.

the garden by the crane wives - vibes

moon waltz (piano version) - vibes and also i love this song too much not to put it on here

like real people do by hozier - they're monsters! in love! what more can i say

candy eyes by jack stauber - im a big softie and 'bled into something good' is very jonelias core imo

as it was by hozier - vibes...

untitled god song by haley heynderickx - vibes but also s5 dynamic my beloved

MAUSOLEUM BY RAFFERTY - THIS IS THE SONG IVE BEEN LOOKING FORRRRRR this song is about a love affair between a person and a. skeleton.

LITERALLY the jonelias song ever

the horror and the wild by the amazing devil - contains the lyric "think of all the horrors that i promised you i'd bring" what more do you want

francis forever by mitski - purely because it contains the lyric "i don't think i could stand to be where you don't see me"

winter by yabadum - one of the most jonelias ever to me

jonah songs:

nunemakers parable by everybody's worried about owen - there is... so much jonahcore in this. this song is About Jonah to me

jon songs:

askepios by the mars volta - tbh this is still kind of jonelias to me but its mostly about jon

francis by haley heynderickx and max garcía conover - has lyrics about knowing things so its automatically joncore to me

its all so incredibly loud by the glass animals - can't articulate why this is joncore to me but it is

[chanelysz]

amor de praia não sobe serra. — J.Jh

💦 Jaehyun!marido, daddy kink (eu não me aguento), anal, masturbação (f & m), muito dirty talk, size kink, sadismo e masoquismo, spanking, Jae!hardom, praise kink, sexo sem proteção.

— a água tá quentinha, vem cá. - alega, afundando o corpo até a clavícula dentro da água cristalina depois de chamar Jaehyun com os dedinhos com um sorriso sapeca nos lábios, molhados, pelo mergulho de segundos atrás.

é verão nas Maldivas, um ótimo motivo para que seu marido te fizesse uma surpresa de repente, te obrigando a arrumar as malas e colocar seus biquínis favoritos lá dentro - ou mais especificamente, os dele - e como fora mandando, você usa agora um tecido verde claro, curtinho e cavado no bumbum, do jeito de ele gostava.

diferente de muitos, ele adorava mostrar que tinha tido aquilo para si. amava quando usava roupas que realçavam ainda mais sua beleza e seu corpo, que, para Jae, era o templo mais precioso de todos.

O homem encontrava-se na margem, de pé, com os braços cruzados e os olhos focados só em você. sorria a cada vez que mergulhava, logo limpando a água salgada do rosto com as mãozinhas. movia o corpo de um lado pro outro, feito uma sereia e rolava os quadris para nadar junto dos braços que se arrastavam pela água.

— já tá escurecendo - ressoa. — não quero você no mar a noite, sozinha.

— então fica de olho em mim. - você chia, tristonha.

Jaehyun sente dó, mesmo que durante esses três dias ele havia nadado com você tarde da madrugada. mas hoje era diferente.

— é o papai quem faz a janta hoje, meu amor. - responde.

você manha pelo jeito que ele se refere a si mesmo. faz biquinho e chora baixinho, retraindo as pernas dentro da água e morde o lábio, sapeca.

Jaehyun volta para onde suas coisas estão, dentro da bolsa preta de pano e rouba a toalha bordada branca de lá, volta para a margem e abre o tecido, te chamando. você não aguenta e nada rápido até ele. os olhos correm pelo seu corpo molhado, a cintura do tamanho certo, os peitinhos marcando no biquíni verdinho, as gotas salgadas correndo pelas coxas bonitas e o cabelo voando por conta do vento forte.

Jaehyun sabia que tudo isso era dele.

apertou você dentro do abraço e sentiu o atrito da toalha contra o corpo pequeno. adorava essa diferença entres vocês, podia te carregar aonde quisesse, te levantar no colo quando estivesse cansada, idêntica a uma bonequinha de pano que era guiada de um lado para o outro.

a toalha chega nos seus cabelos e o homem os bagunça, tentando seca-los e te tirando um riso. — Ei! - adverte, tentando bater no mais velho. ele ri igual, te pegando no colo junto da toalha, enrola as pernas na cintura fina, aperta os ombros com as mãos pequenas e sela a boca dele num selinho casto, rápido.

— só mereço isso, é? - reclama.

— se tivesse deixado eu ficar mais um pouquinho... - chacoalha as perninhas e se finge de sonsa, olhando para o céu.

ele nega, debochado e vai até o chuveiro que havia naquele parte isolada da praia, onde só havia você e Jaehyun, joga a toalha em algum canto, ajeita mais seu corpo contra o dele e encosta suas costas na parede de pedra de um restaurante fechado, liga o chuveiro, deixando a água correr entre os dois.

— vai me dar banho? - aperta os braços fortes que estavam amostra pela regata branca.

ele concorda. — então tem que tirar isso aqui também. - e não tarda em puxar o pano pela cabeça, ficando nu quadril a cima.

a água corre pelo corpo de ambos, espalma as mãos pelo seu corpo tirando o sal do mar, molha os cabelos tirando o ressecado, por fim, beijando sua testa, inocente e apaixonado. seu rostinho todo molhado, as gotículas nos cílios, os lábios vermelhos pelas mordidinhas discretas que pensava o homem não ter visto, mas viu. retorna novamente a boca na sua, mas agora num beijo demorado e malicioso. a língua indo de um lado para o outro, o barulho erótico soando em ambos os ouvidos, os apertos na sua bunda de repente são forte e o abraço da mão no seu pescoço te tira o ar. geme, manhosa, querendo mais.

— toda necessitada... eu adoro te ver assim, doidinha por pau. - debocha, sacana.

— quem disse que eu quero seu pau? - ri, provocando o perigo.

sem mais nem menos a destra desce até sua calcinha de biquíni, aperta seu sexo com a palma e bate. uma, duas, três vezes, e rebola contra o atrito gostoso. adentra o tecido, acarinhando o montinho duro, te vendo revirar os olhos enquanto ele adorava a sensação melada entre suas pernas. — realmente não quer pau, né, neném?

ficam ali nos amassos por mais algum tempo, antes do vento gelado aumentar e terem de voltar para o hotel.

de mãos dadas caminhando pela praia, Jae segurava sua bolsa enquanto olhava para o horizonte, igual tu. um outro casal de repente aparece por ali, olham e sorriem um para o outro, lembrando de como se conheceram.

— e ainda dizem que amor de praia não sobe serra. - seu marido diz.

— o nosso subiu. - declara, apaixonada .

— é sobre o nosso mesmo que eu me referia.

adoram a sensação de lembra como se conheceram durante um campeonato de surf que Jaehyun participava. você, de férias na casa de praia dos seus avós, ficou mais que encantada pela rapaz loiro, praiano e sorridente. ele era o próprio estereótipo de "menino do litoral". engraçadinho, bajulador, mulherengo e lindo. muito lindo.

— vou ser sincero - começa, chegando na porta do quarto, entram e ainda animadinha, corre para a piscina com borda invisível na varanda, pulando de ponta sem nem antes deixar que ele terminasse. — eu ia continuar com a nossa brincadeira lá fora, mas sei que você é tímida.

— você não entrou no mar comigo, vem pra piscina então. - ele pensa, mas sede e resume que o jantar será pelo delivery.

pula, feito você, molhando o shorts e os superiores, agarrando o corpo pequeno. — você é tão pequenininha, porra... cabe na palma da minha mão. - beija seu pescoço, agarra a cintura e prende as suas pernas nele.

— adoro ficar no seu colo. muito, muito, muito. - Jaehyun sorri, achando uma fofura sua expressão. agarra ainda mais, puxa seu cabelo do rosto e lambe seu lábio inferior.

— Jae - manha, dengosa.

o rapaz te encosta na borda invisível da piscina, olhando pelos seus ombros o mar lá fora, com o céu alaranjado pela resultado do sol se pondo.

— eu te amo tanto! você é a melhor coisa que me aconteceu. - declara do nada e te tira um sorriso de orelha a orelha. — adoro você ser minha, só minha.

lambe seu pescoço, clavícula, orelha e nuca. todas as suas partes sensível. aperta as mamas redondinhas e inchadas, aperta os bicos entre os dedos e você chora, baixinho. não tarde em rebolar o quadril sobre o marido, faz questão de quicar várias vezes só para ve-lo com olhar de raiva por provoca-lo.

— é melhor parar. - alerta, bravo, ainda viajando a mão pelos seios.

— senão o que?

e esse era seu fim. a carinha sem vergonha, o sorrisinho sacana, tudo para ver a fúria nos olhos de Jaehyun.

— pirralha... é assim que você gosta de ser chamada, né?! - te vira, agora com o pau duro entre as bandas da sua bunda e a mão rodeando seu pescoço, enquanto a outra adentra sua calcinha. — não se aguenta e fica de showzinho. preciso te lembrar o que aconteceu da última vez? — circula o clitóris devagarinho, te fazendo sofrer, desce e sobe a mão até a fendinha babada e molha ainda mais toda a vulva.

— papai.

sabia do apelido carinhoso entre vocês, mas sabia também que isso só trazia mais gás no tanque para Jaehyun.

— diz o que você quer que o papai faça. - acelera os movimentos e afunda dois dedos de uma vez em você. se contorce e grita. — é muito pra você? foram só dois dedinhos, pequena... precisa mais do que isso pra aguentar meu pau.

— eu sei, eu sei... é que, dói - não sabia mais falar corretamente. e não fazia ideia se era pela dor gostosa ou pela necessidade de mais. agarra o pau do seu marido por trás, massageia por cima do shorts, logo, tirando o falo duro pra fora e masturbando devagar. olha por cima do ombro, visualiza a cabeça roxinha, melada de pre gozo, as veias saltando e o pau quase chegando na barriga de tão duro.

— porra. - xinga baixinho, não só pela visão mas também pelo vai e vem gostoso dos dedos de Jae dentro de você.

— porra mesmo, porra de buceta apertada. - acelera ainda mais e por fim puxa a calcinha de lado, te deixando a mostra por debaixo da água. traz a lubrificação até seu segundo buraco, mais apertado e quase virgem. Jaehyun já meteu os dedos ali enquanto socava o pau dele e mais um de borracha na entrada da frente. fora o dia que ele mais ficou orgulhoso de você, recebeu tudo feito uma boa puta... a boa puta dele.

meleca com a ponta do pau, ajudando a ficar ainda mais melado.

— vem cá, linda. - nada até a outra beirada, sobe na escadinha, mais rasa, tá coloca de joelhos no degrau e vai até seu ouvido, pra dizer "empina bastante e não me aperta, vai apanhar se sufocar meu pau com esse cuzinho"

— hmm... - chora, como afirmação. Jaehyun ri, adorando ver o medo em seus olhos pela posição com o queixo encostando no ombros para ver o que ele estava fazendo com você.

segura o pau e enterra no comecinho, devagarinho e manso, afunda mais um pouco e você grita, de novo, pela segunda vez. aperta a bunda com uma destra, a outra cai em direção a sua boca, jogando os dedos lá dentro.

— mama eles, mama. - ordena - igual faz com meu pau. - e em um só empurrão, te preenche.

as lágrimas já saiam feito rio das suas orbes falhas, a boca babada, os peitos balançando pela velocidade rápida. a buceta não parava de babar, molhada, pois Jaehyun voltou a dar atenção para o pontinho durinho entre as pernas.

chorava, chorava e chorava.

— eu adoro esse seu chorinho de puta. papai tá machucando a bucetinha, tá? coitadinha, aguenta mais um pouquinho, tá tão gostoso, não tá?

— uhu... uhum - murmura, é difícil falar pelos dedos na boca, afundando goela abaixo e pela velocidade das estocadas brutas.

a dor é boa, o carinho da mão de Jaehyun na sua buceta ajuda a amenizar tudo, mas não se aguenta quando ele vai mais fundo e aperta ainda mais o pau.

— tsc - caçoa. — papai avisou, não avisou?

tapa. tapa. tapa. tapa.

o que era só um, se tornaram quatro.

geme mais alto, parece até mesmo uma atriz porno de tanto grito e choro.

— que cuzinho gostoso - estapeia de novo, dessa vez devagar.

e com isso, fora a gota da água. além dos dedos terem entrado na sua bucetinha, o tapa e o pau afundando no canalzinho machucado te fazem chegar ao limite.

— papai, papai, papai

clama várias vezes seguidas e quase caí, se não fosse pelos braços do seu marido te segurando.

— agora eu posso encher esse canalzinho de porra.

e goza, gemendo rouco, bem no seu ouvido. o líquido vaza quando ele sai de dentro, mas não tarda em se agachar bem em frente e abrir seu rabinho para ver o branquinho vazar por ali. bagunça tudo, meleca sua bunda e bate de novo, rindo pela sua reação assustada e acabada.

— pronto, pronto, princesa. já passou. - te carrega no colo, te beijando por toda parte. — você foi tão bem, tão obediente e boa, minha boa menina.

— boa menina. - diz baixinho, cansada.

— de quem, hm?

— do papai... a boa menina do papai.

[venzilanddeathcult]

BELATED NEW YEARS LIST OF COOL ALBUMS I DISCOVERED IN 2023 OH BOY THIS POST IS GONNA BE LONG

2023 was without a doubt the year ive listened to the most music in all of my life, so there's quite a hefty bit of albums to list, and i'll try to put them in a loose order of when i listened to them, but no promises!

I will limit it to one album per band, while noting the other ones i could have listened to within the text

Sadly, i didn't get around to hearing The Beggar by SWANS yet, so it won't make this list. that said heres the first one lol

SPIDERLAND

(By Slint)

Also known as the "how the fuck did a bunch of dudes in their early 20s make something this fucking great" album

I first listened to this one at a friend's house since he had it on vinyl, and halfway through the album i was losing my shit and repeatedly exclaiming loudly how fucking amazing the album was

It's very hard to put into words just how fucking good this album is, it's definitely one of the albums that put me onto Post Rock as a whole, and changed the way i view guitar playing pretty significantly

Every song feels immaculately constructed (the weakest one being the short instrumental that comes right before my personal favorite, Good Morning, Captain, the final song of the album that's linked above) and the raw emotional output won me over pretty early into my first listen. It is now my second favorite album of all time, good shit, i urge anyone reading who hasn't listened yet to give it a shot

Give their first album a listen too!

THE POD

(By Ween)

Not much i can say about this album i haven't said before i think, so here are the notes i took about it while listening to it for the first time (on a plane ride)

"Listened to this album during the plane ride Might be one of Ween's best It's so noisy and shitty and gross Only enchanced by the plane ride nausea and the very low energy feel the altitude gives It's Like if the Best album of all time got recorded on the shittiest hardware ever i'm Gonna listen to it a lot I can tell The noisiest part of the [referring to the last song here] song started on the most turbulent part of the ride And I was all for it"

I was already a Ween fan by this point, but hadn't listened to their earlier stuff, especially The Pod since every attempt at listening to it made me genuinely nauseous for some reason, but damn did braving through the album pay off. it's one of my favorite Ween albums and every time i get a fever i put it on to at least find some comfort in the wooziness. big recommendation

OCTAHEDRON

(By The Mars Volta)

I've been a Mars Volta fan since very early 2022, but i didn't get around to exploring their full catalogue until after the release of their comeback album later that same year, with Octahedron being the last of them (the rest i gave first listens to in 2022)

It's a decently strong change from their previous album (The Bedlam in Goliath), which was probably their most intense and chaotic album, although it definitely fell flat in a few aspects (Weirdly produced, some filler that could have been cut out that makes some stuff sound samey, something that wasn't much of an issue with Volta albums up until that TBiG)

It feels like it sort of harkens back to their earlier albums such as Frances the Mute and Tremulant while also going forward in a direction that makes sense considering 2012's Noctourniquet.

It's still not something as well constructed as their earlier albums, but it's a seriously good effort and worth listening to at least once, some seriously catchy and memorable songs in here

IN TIMES NEW ROMAN...

(By Queens Of The Stone Age)

I've been a fan of Queens Of The Stone Age for basically as long as i can remember, which only intensified in the pandemic as i would spend my days listening to Era Vulgaris on loop for hours and hours

There was not a single album from them that i didn't love, something about their entire style is extremely appealing to my ears, and when i heard they would release a new album i damn near shat myself and eagerly awaited for news

Then Emotion Sickness came out, with it's Era Vulgaris-reminiscent sound, ESPECIALLY the chorus and i couldn't be happier, there was absolutely no end to my hype

And thankfully, once the album came out, i realized these motherfuckers STILL have it in them to make a really fucking solid rock album, it seems they shed the slightly more polished sound of Villains and went back to that good old rougher sound they used to have, while not ditching some of the bells and whistles that made their reunion records work

Seriously solid album and i'd recommend it to anyone that enjoys this style of rock. good stuff

Church goes here

CONTEMPORARY MOVEMENT

(By Duster)

Shed away all of those memes about Sisyphus featuring a song off this album and underneath you will find a really emotional slowcore album with such an immaculate vibe i can't help but just. sink into it as i listen, if that makes sense

Before listening to this album i was a big fan of that Experimental Dust bootleg, but had never listened to their other stuff until i did

Almost every song is just oozing with this unmistakably Duster sound that is so perfectly melancholic you cant help but just be right there with them, it's some seriously great stuff, lovely album.

I also listened to Stratosphere, but i didn't listen to it much so i don't feel like it fits in this post, but rest assured it's a damn good time as well. Great album, very sad, should probably only listen to it in a good headspace but you do you

WISH YOU WERE HERE

(By Pink Floyd)

Enough said. its peak

same applies to Animals

A FUCK TON OF ALBUMS

(By SWANS)

No, really, just in 2023 i gave first listens to:

To Be Kind

The Seer

White Light From The Mouth of Infinity

Love of Life

Greed

The Great Annihilator

The Burning World

It's too much to talk about, but SWANS is one of my favorite bands, and honestly, if you're really curious, just shoot me a DM for thoughts on any of these albums haha, i'm always overjoyed to talk about music with people, especially SWANS.

loveless

(By my bloody valentine)

One of my biggest regrets is not listening to this album in full earlier than i did. It's seriously such a fucking incredible experience from start to finish that i can't even find much to say about it that hasn't been said before, just give it a listen

MT EERIE

(By The Microphones)

Sorry kids i havent listened to the glow pt 2 yet cant talk about it

I randomly discovered The Microphones on my youtube recommendations one day while listening to completely unrelated music, but clicked due to the artwork catching my interest and was completely enthralled by their melancholic acoustic sound followed by real intense percussion in some songs, and the flirting with experimentation that goes on throughout the entire album, it's seriously great and it touched me in a way not much music has. Big recommendation

IN RAINBOWS

(By Radiohead)

It's hard to say something about this album that hasn't been said already, so i won't.

Give it a listen, even if you're not a fan of their usual stuff, this album still stands out as a pretty interesting project and i enjoy it quite a lot

Also listened to from them this year: OK Computer and Kid A, heavily enjoyed both but In Rainbows remains my favorite

DOOLITTLE

(By Pixies)

Now for my most listened album of the year, spawned from the same night that got me into Spiderland (my 2nd most listened to album...go figure)

Having listened to Where Is My Mind? upon watching Fight Club, that was sadly the only Pixies song i stuck to for a while, but once i heard this album i kept on digging and digging through it to finally get what it is that made me enjoy this band's sound

It actually took me quite a fucking while to fully "get" this album, but the album slowly earned my full appreciation and became something i'd spend days listening to on loop, enjoying the ride from start to finish, it's a seriously good album, and if you wanna hear where some of that 90s rock dynamic came from, this and Surfer Rosa are considered some of the most notable precursors to it, so there you have it. give it a listen!

CLUBE DA ESQUINA

(By Milton Nascimento & Lô Borges)

LINK TO "Tudo O Que Você Podia Ser" FROM THE ALBUM (10 VIDEOS PER POST LIMIT LOL)

I struggle to choose a singular song to link, because every part of this album is crafted with such intricate musicianship and mix matching of Brazilian tradition with a foreign, beatles-esque flavor which is so smoothly and lovingly woven into the entire record. It's an absolute must for anyone interested in the music of Brazil, and one of my absolute favorite albums of all time. i recommend this one to every person i discuss music with, it's a seriously outstanding achievement of an album. give it a listen.

CENTER OF ATTENTION

(By InI)

LINK TO "No More Words" FROM THE ALBUM

I am a HUGE fan of the Jazz Rap style developed in the east coast during the 90s, and InI's shelved debut is one of those crowning examples i now look to when introducing people to the style. Right from the start the album sets you in it's laid back vibe, with it's nice groovy beats that tastefully sample old jazz records in a way that really adds to the album's whole atmosphere. Great album, give it a try.

DUMMY

(By Portishead)

LINK TO "Sour Times" FROM THE ALBUM

While regrettably not having listened to the rest of their output, this album still manages to blow me away every single time i listen to a song off it. There's something so lovable about the gloomy atmosphere paired with those spy movie ass guitars and absolutely breathtaking vocals. every member plays such a strong part in the album's atmosphere to the point you can pay attention to just one component and still be interested the whole way through. this album is so fucking good. give it a listen

SPEAKERBOXXX / THE LOVE BELOW

(By OutKast)

LINK TO "Church" FROM THE FIRST SIDE OF THE ALBUM

LINK TO "Love Hater" FROM THE SECOND SIDE OF THE ALBUM

Outkast has always been one of my favorites in rap, but i never took the time to listen to their biggest project, the double album Speakerboxxx/The Love Below, which is kind of two solo albums from Big Boi and Andre 3000 (in that order) packaged as an Outkast album, but god damn, they made it work really well.

EVERY single song in this album is a fucking banger (GhettoMusick being one of my favorites), the only thing holding it down are some skits that, while some of them are pretty funny, still leave you just wanting to get to the next track, but anyone who's listened to enough rap albums already knows how this stuff goes (first wu-tang album, anyone?)

One of my favorite rap albums, give it a shot, i guarantee at least 3 songs from it will be stuck in your head after.

PAUL'S BOUTIQUE

(By Beastie Boys)

LINK TO "The Sounds of Science" FROM THE ALBUM

Another one of such cases where every song is a banger, the songs are all so fucking awesomely creative i can't help but have a wide smile on my face every time i listen, the crazy amount of samples in this album really makes it quite a unique listen, especially as a Beatles fan which means The Sounds Of Science is enough whiplash to give J.K. Simmons a run for his money

Really fun album, give it a shot

MELLON COLLIE AND THE INFINITE SADNESS

(By The Smashing Pumpkins)

LINK TO "Tales Of A Scorched Earth" FROM THE ALBUM

I've been a moderate Smashing Pumpkins fan since i was a kid, with Siamese Dream being a favorite, and Drown being one of my favorite songs of all time at that point, but i never took the time to listen to the album that followed it, partly due to it being so massive, but once i took the plunge i spent the next 2 hours sitting in my chair absolutely floored by every song that came my way. This is a seriously impressive album from start to finish and it's one i'll cherish for years to come, every song feels like it's earned it's place, with both the soft and hard songs being equally interesting and ear catching.

Outstanding album, give it a listen.

THE FAT OF THE LAND

(By The Prodigy)

LINK TO "Breathe" FROM THE ALBUM

I'm usually not much of an electronic music guy, but this album really caught my attention after watching Dario Casali's playthrough of Half-Life of all things, where he said he would frequently listen to The Prodigy during development, so i decided to give it a shot, having heard some of their music (Particularly in the film Kick-Ass) and i spent the next week or so religiously listening to this album on loop, it's so endlessly replayable and just fun to listen to that i instantly became hooked. Aside from that, there's not much to say, it's a very fun, energetic album, give it a shot.

THE ENTIRE FUCKING SYSTEM OF A DOWN DISCOGRAPHY

(By...yeah)

LINK TO "Soil" FROM "System Of A Down"

LINK TO "Prison Song" FROM "Toxicity"

LINK TO "Fuck the System" FROM "Steal This Album!"

LINK TO "Radio / Video" FROM "Mezmerize"

LINK TO "Vicinity Of Obscenity" FROM "Hypnotize" (not sure why people dislike this one?)

Same deal as SWANS, too much to talk about, shoot me a dm about it if you're really that curious, i don't mind.

ALL OF IT IS FUCKING GREAT. GIVE THEM A LISTEN. ENOUGH SAID

F♯ A♯ ∞

(By Godspeed You! Black Emperor)

LINK TO "East Hastings" FROM THE ALBUM

It's hard for me to put into words what listening to this album for the first time did for me. It's one of the most atmospheric, wonderful things i've ever had the pleasure of listening to, all 3 songs in this masterpiece keep me entranced until the very last second, including the very unnecessarily long silence at the end of Providence for the hidden song. I have yet to listen to their next album, which i've been told by a mutual is even better, so i'm very excited for that. Give this one a listen.

MARQUEE MOON

(By Television)

LINK TO "See No Evil" FROM THE ALBUM

god i am not a fan of this album cover

that being said, this album is a pretty nice, post punkish record which reminds me a lot of 80s Talking Heads, but i don't have much to say about it. it's simply a good album, and i recommend it heavily. give it a shot

THE UNNATURAL WORLD

(By Have A Nice Life)

LINK TO "Guggenheim Wax Museum" FROM THE ALBUM

I fucking love Deathconsciousness, but stayed at that album for a while, until, for whatever reason, during my initial playthrough of Dark Souls 1 (great game, by the way, enjoyed it lots) i decided to give it a spin and wound up listening to it for basically the rest of the game. It has this gloomy vibe HANL is known for, but it feels like its played a lot more straight than Deathcon, it feels darker, i dunno.

Very good follow-up, even if i think the previous album is overall stronger, this one is still a great listen

LEAVES TURN INSIDE YOU

(By Unwound)

LINK TO "Radio Gra" FROM THE ALBUM

I regrettably struggle to find much to say about this album, which is a shame because i really do love it a lot.

It has this sound that is at times reminiscent of Slint, which made me immediately fall in love, while still standing out as it's own thing, it's a very good fucking album from start to finish, but that's all i can say about it really, i need to listen to it more, and Unwound's other stuff.

Big recommendation right here

FRANKENCHRIST

(By Dead Kennedys)

LINK TO "MTV - Get Off The Air" FROM THE ALBUM

Dead Kennedys is one of my favorite bands (Old Testament DK anyways, Dead Kennedys without Jello is kinda wack, sorry!), and their previous album, Plastic Surgery Disasters remains one of my favorite punk rock records to date, but i had not yet listened to the latter half of their discography, something i now regret, since it's equally as good.

Frankenchrist is a bit of detour from PSD's VERY harsh sound, sounding a little more rounded, less noisy if that makes sense, but Jello Biafra's biting social commentary and witty writing remains intact through it all and makes for an album as entertaining and awesome as the rest of their work. Seriously great, listen to it.

MAGGOT BRAIN

(By Funkadelic)

LINK TO "Maggot Brain" FROM THE ALBUM

Having started my musical ambitions as an aspiring Funk guitarist (part of why my right hand strums so loosely haha), Funkadelic was always on my radar, with their debut album being one of the albums i listened to the most and looked for inspiration in during the pandemic, but for some reason, i never opted to listen to Maggot Brain until this year, which, as is per usual for albums i dont listen to, was a big fucking mistake, since this album is filled with bangers from start to finish. I love it to death.

An absolute must-listen to any funk rock fans

AT ACTION PARK

(By Shellac)

LINK TO "Crow" FROM THE ALBUM

Being a fan of Steve Albini's work both in production and with Big Black, listening to Shellac eventually was a no-brainer, but i procrastinated on it until a particularly lengthy hospital visit where i had enough time to kill and listened to this album, being taken in by that noisy goodness until the album finished. I struggle to find something to say, but the song structures in this album are so weird and they don't hesitate to stay longer than usual and linger on some chords which gives songs this really punchy vibe i can't describe. Great album.

AND FINALLY....

UNDERTOW

(By TOOL)

LINK TO "Prison Sex" FROM THE ALBUM

I'm a huge fan of TOOL, but never listened to their debut until i saw it on a mutual's top albums list, which convinced me i should give it a shot, and so i did!

...On the fucking last hour of 2023

I shit you not, the album ended in the last fuckign MINUTE of the year. 23:59. Finished listening and immediately got up to await the countdown.

That aside, you can really see how they went from this to Ænima, as it has a lot of the harder parts of that album, with less...esoteric(?) peculiarities inbetween, while still being a really good fucking album and enjoyable from start to finish, there wasn't a single song that had me bored. A worthy album to finish the year with...and this list!

FINALLY finished writing this absolute behemoth of a post, and i hope it at least gets one person to check these albums out.

Here's to a great 2024 for all! Thanks for reading!

[pbandjesse]

I have come home. I am very glad I did because my feet hurt so bad and I'm so tired and I just cannot get clean enough I can't. That's a coming home problem. And I am clean now and it's great.

Actually did sleep pretty well though. After I finish my post I would hang out for a little while longer and Callie would eventually come back to our room and we talked and laughed and we're just having a really good time. Her sister brought the fridge so now we have that and we were just joking around and having fun. And then we would go to sleep. It would take me a little bit of time but then my phone lost service so I was able to fall asleep very easily because I'm a monster who sleeps cradling their phone. And I woke up startled because she accidentally slammed the door but I was able to fall back asleep and it was fine. And I felt okay. My stomach hurt really bad. But I think that was mostly just stressed and anxiety. I got washed up and put the little outfit on and I felt kind of dirty but I tried my best to not be as dusty. I still failed though.

I left the cabin and walked up to the nurse's office. Decided that I did not want to join for breakfast. I had slept in really late and while I still had plenty of time before my first program it was most of the way through breakfast and I decided I'd rather just have a yogurt. So I went up to arts and crafts and I poured myself some Cheez-Its and I had half of the fancy yogurt I bought and had a little bit of soda. But really I just want to drink water right now. It's been so dry that I feel dehydrated. So I would hang out and read my book and wait for my first program.

The book is really sad and it's nonlinear storytelling so it's like you're getting memories and snapshots from this girl. And I do enjoy it but it's very different than what I was expecting. Not in a positive warrant I get away just different. I'm still enjoying it though. Even though it's very sad.

My groups today were great. No complaints. I was very stressed out because people kept telling him new things that were wrong in the schedule like I doubled people. And I was just basically like can I not be in charge of this anymore. And by the end of the day I would not be. But I could not really have that conversation for a few hours.

Instead I just focused on my group's best I could. I had some very lovely people and I think I am making myself very popular among the new staff. A lot of the boys are very sweet to me. Not shocking. And I think it's funny how often they compliment me by telling me that I don't look 33. And I'm like all right? I don't think I look much different and I did any other time. I look more what I like to refer to as refined. Then I did when I was 18. But I don't look much different than I did it 25 or 29. I was looking at pictures from a few years ago today and I was just like that's still me.

But they're all very sweet and I had a lot of boys stepping up to help me with stuff today. Carrying boxes and such. And all of my groups are just really cute. Specifically in the morning I had silver City and they were so good. And made some really cute pieces. And top bar was really nice as well. I always have funny conversations with them. Like about Taylor Swift and very long music. Like I really loved a Mars Volta song that was technically 32 minutes long. And they were like excuse me. But I couldn't remember if it had curse words in it, even if they would be in Spanish. And I didn't want to risk it.

At lunch Kelly came up to chat with me and Heather would come as well and we would talk about how well arts and crafts is going and how happy everybody was up there. How I kept getting feedback that people's groups were crazy and loud all day and then they come to arts and crafts and they're perfect and silent and they're like what is happening. And I'm just like it's the magical power of arts and crafts. It's the best and that's why I love it. I can set the kids up to do their projects and set them out on the material and I can sit to the side and help when needed but mainly work on my project and have a good time with the kids. Arts and crafts is the best.

But having Heather up there was really interesting because I got to chat with her too and talk a little bit more about things that were and were not working in the schedule and mistakes that had come up. And it came up that Ann is putting schedule that I made into an Excel sheet which is what apparently they've used for years which is fine I don't care but I don't really use Excel or Google sheets so I'm like okay that's fine. And I would send a text after she left to clarify do I still have to edit it then or should and just take over. I don't really have much time to work on the schedule and while I really enjoyed making it and I think some parts are great I knew that there was mistakes and I knew we were going to have to fix them I was just hoping that we were going to be doing that weeks ago. And then Heather was like no we still want you to do it and I was like okay. But it turns out the way that she was meaning it was like yeah you can totally still do it because she thought I was sad to lose this task. And it was just such a miscommunication of needs from everyone. And I'm really glad that we talked for realized because later in the day I would tell Elizabeth that I just could not handle it. And I'm so glad I did because I was able to hand off this project and immediately the stress that I was feeling went away like Chloe had asked me like 15 minutes before "are you okay?" and I almost burst into tears. It was very close.

But it was okay for now. I went to lunch late but wait got excellent fake chicken sandwiches. I have a little salad. A little potato salad. And I had to break the news to Geoff that you cannot have the children dress up as Native American people anymore that it's just not okay and you cannot do it. That we need to be aware of cultural competency stuff and that is not it. I understand you did that as a child here but we do not do that anymore because we are growing and changing and learning. And so I would get some articles from the ACA that does our accreditation about how we can be better about Native American stuff and not completely getting rid of it but how it can be respectful and like a chart thing that lets you kind of figure out hey are you being chill or is that wrong And I was just like this is really what we need to be aware of before we start doing things that we used to do. Like I'm not even letting him make dream catchers. Unacceptable.

So I had to be a dream killer. Apparently that's my nickname with some of the boys anyway. Because I tell them that they can or cannot do things in their lives. No you are not a Lord for buying one foot of land in Scotland. That has been proven to be fake. No you would not jump on the roof and do a backflip. No we are not doing tie dye. Dreamkiller over and over again.

I would go to arts and crafts and spend like 15 minutes reading my book and I would try to just hang out my hammock but then I was doing other stuff on my phone so I was a little distracted. But soon my group was there and it was day camp and they were so sweet. Both of my day came groups were great. So I'm a little more creative than others. But I was still really enjoying all of their ideas and work. I always have to be so careful with my examples because if somebody leaves something unusual or particularly good everyone's going to try to copy that one and not use their own brain. And that was happening a little bit with a three-dimensional car someone made. It wasn't even good. But it was a rectangle and with wheels and everyone's like oh my God I got to make that and none of them good. So not as many like stands out but the one child that made the turtle on the side of the arts building. Chef's kiss. Adorable. Ridiculously cute.

My last group of the day would be stockade. And this group was so nice. It was a lot of the boys that I knew from last year and they all want to learn how to do bracelets. And I think what particularly sold it for me was Randall, one of the new counselors. He is so nice to me and he's always like Ms Jesse Ms Jesse. Because he wants to learn things and he's so nice. And I taught him and a whole bunch of the boys had to make cardboard loom bracelets. I had some doing seven so I'm doing six but all of them cut the string too long because I had to run down to the office to sign a CPS form. (The guy doing that by the way I thought I was very funny. And then he was like wait fullwiler isn't there someone else named forward I was like oh my God that's my sister-in-law and also today is the anniversary of me getting engaged. That's so nice.) And when I came back other Jeci had tried to get the all the boys started but he forgot that with my bracelets it's one arm and with regular bracelets it's two arms and so everyone had string that was so long. So I just had them folded over and they all made double size bracelets which honestly look better anyway. They're a little bit more confusing for some people because you have to take both strings but they got it right away and like a few of them had some lumps in their pieces but overall excellent bracelets and they were all really nice to me. And that's my favorite thing.

At the end of it though I was like oh my God I'm done for the day but then I remembered that I was going to be meeting with all of SSC to figure out how we can integrate them into teaching some stuff during the summer. It turns out all of them really want to do that. So we're going to have them try to lead handicraft and camp skills. And I am just really happy with them they're so sweet wanting to do more. Like I get not wanting to sit around for multiple half hours a day. If they were adults I think they would get it a little bit also if they had their phones. But they've been playing a lot of apples to apples and a lot of Uno and they really want some more tasks. I understand. I am glad that they are interested in we are still figuring out how that's going to work but I think it's going to be great.

This is a little bit where I got upset in the office and had to ask Elizabeth like hey can someone please take this and she's like oh my God yes we just didn't want her feelings. I was like no the feelings involved just so glad to have this task no longer in my hands. So I texted all the village directors and Mirren was so sweet and was like oh my God I'm so sorry you got so upset and all this nice stuff and then Charlotte was just like okay. Nothing else. So you know still not positive that she likes me all the time but I'm trying to just accept her who she is. Even if it hurts my heart a little bit.

But I was just like left with all of this lightness from not having to do this schedule any longer. Like yeah it sucks that I couldn't make it perfect because I want to make everything perfect all the time and surprise everyone by how great I am. But it didn't worry out this time and that's okay. I just want everyone to have a good summer and now I can focus on being the best specialty stuff ever which is all I ever wanted. And also the best specialty senior staff which is a new thing that I want.

And I decided that after all of that emotional upheaval I needed to go home. I would feel a lot better if I went home. I didn't cry but it was a close thing. So I texted Celia to see if she would be willing to meet me at 5:45 rather than 7:00 to get ice cream. And she was like yeah cool. So I went down to my cabin and collected some clothes had my jewelry box and my eye cream. You know the most important things to me in the world. And then I walked up to arts and crafts and said goodbye to Callie and the kids And I went to the ice cream store.

I got there a little bit before she did and when she got there I was so happy to see her. I was being very silly and I pressed my face up against the glass of my car. And she like was mogging me from her car. And then we got out and we went and got our ice cream. I got a very classic Sunday with their two special flavors which had very silly names that I can't remember right now. But almost cake batter and one was peanut butter with chocolate pieces. There was other stuff going on but they were both very good and I got it as a classic Sunday with hot fudge and whipped cream and a cherry. It was excellent.

We would sit and chat for an hour or so and just talked about books and life and work and all the things going on and all the nice things people have said about Celia lately when I was telling him that I was hanging out with her and they're like oh she's so nice she has So many facts. And she was like oh blush blush blush.

she found it up really nicely when she was like I want to hang out with Jesse forever I want to go my friend forever. And I'm like I also want that but also I'm so tired and I want to go home. So please say goodbye after watching a child chase a bunny around the backyard of the ice cream shop. Because it clearly was a house at one point. Very cute though. Not knocking them.

And I had a super easy drive home because there was no traffic. So it was 28 minutes from the ice cream shop. And when I got home I was just so happy to be here. My parking place is a little down the street but at least it's on our block. And I got inside and I got to hold sweet pea for a while and I had to carry Ruby because she had gotten stuck in the studio again or battery died. And then I worked on cleaning the frog tank a bit and feeding them worms and making sure everyone was alive. Do have them are huge now and one is very small so I'm worried that the one isn't eating enough so I put a double portion of worms. And I cleaned out a bunch of the snails. Which I've gotten very bad but at least the water's clear. That is the one positive of the snails. And then I worked on crab cakes tank for a bit. Added some more moisture because there is no humidity and I didn't realize how important humidity was apparently for him. And I would add a bunch of new food for him I know he's not supposed to eat fruit very often but I thought maybe a blueberry as a treat just doing courage him. And he was motor and walking around and digging. But he definitely is going to need a bigger tank sooner rather than later. And the next week or so I'm hoping to get to the store to look for something that I can make into a giant tank. The problem is all the tanks at the store are fish tanks and I need something shallower and lighter. So I think I'm in might work. We will see what I can find.

I would take a nice long bath. Scrubbed everything shaved everything washed my hair. It was very nice.

And I started watching cabaret again because the only thing I can think about for some reason. I think I will try Chicago next if I can find an old version on YouTube. But the 1993 version of cabaret with Alan Cumming is excellent and it is just been stuck in my head since I watched it last week.

now I am sitting in our bedroom and James just got home from their baseball game and they are so sweaty. So I'm hoping they go clean themselves up before they join me again but I'm really excited that I do get to spend some of our engagement anniversary together. Probably just about the same as I spent with them on the day we actually got engaged which was the first day of camp 2021.

Now though I am going to say good night. And I hope you all have a wonderful evening and a beautiful Friday. Tomorrow marks the end of the first week of camp. I think we did pretty good overall. I hope you all sleep great tonight and take care of yourself. Until tomorrow

[rastronomicals]

April 2:

On this date in 1987, Voivod released their third studio album, Killing Technology.

On this date in 2002, post-hardcore/progressive rock band The Mars Volta released their debut EP, Tremulant.

On the 2nd of April, 2011, Der Blutharsch And The Infinite Church of The Leading Hand and Aluk Tolodo disseminated A Collaboration , their yes-indeed-it-is-a-collaborative-album.

And,

On the 2nd of April, 2013, flannel revivalists Milk Music let loose unto a world that may or may not have been ready for it Cruise Your Illusion, their debut album.

The question as to why a band who most often quotes Neil Young or Dinosaur Jr. would reference a Guns 'n' Roses album with the title of their debut remains to this day unanswered

[gentleoverdrive]

[25/300] Everyone in it can go.

Had an argument with my wife over the silliest yet grimmest thing. Now, please understand that this all pertains to a horror movie we were watching, and I still love her with all my heart. ---- So, when a person horribly injures another person, to the point that the survivor of the attack is unable to use a limb or another part of the body, this is maiming, right? And when an animal grabs you and fucks your shit up as badly as mentioned above with a similar end result, that's called mauling, correct? ---- Yes, this was the point of contention for a couple of minutes at our humble abode. All I remember from before it happened is how we were laughing OUR ASSES OFF at seeing a slasher going to town on one of its victims. Anyway, yeah, these are the kind of things that probably kept me from the good schools, as one late New Yorker stand-up comedian once said. Read ya' later alligator!

[gay-victorian-astronomer]

Happy WIP Wednesday! Which of the Skills have you found to be most revealing/relevant/interesting to write in Compression Fracture? Get a few words in that document, I believe in you! <3

that is a very good question with several different possible answers!

Volta Do Mar (emotional control and resilience) is the obvious choice because it's the most directly relevant to the arc I have planned out. It's Kim's highest-leveled skill (arguably over-leveled!) so it speaks up a lot. It's also loosely tied to memories, specifically stuff he was already repressing hard pre-amnesia.

There's several skills I want to do more with but I haven't been quite able to figure out how to do it— Navigateur (connection to the city, but not para-natural like Shivers) is one that I have a bit more of a plan for. I really, really want to do more with Speedfreak (the best summary I have is "adrenaline junkie" but there's more to it than that) but it's one of Kim's weaker skills and I have a hard time finding good opportunities for it to talk— I think it could be a really good foil to Volta if I play it the right way though. That one also gets into similar territory as Outsider (navigating societal groups & discrimination) in that it deals with stuff I don't personally experience, so I'll need to pay careful attention to both of those when I'm writing and revising.

Anyways, here's a snippet, as promised! Volta & Speedfreak having a moment:

MNEMOTECHNIQUE A6 — Grocery and to-do lists, the occasional amusing or aggravating interaction noted down. You make a short summary of what happened at the end of every day, but even on the weekends it looks like you don’t get out very much— most of those notes reference books you’re reading or sewing projects.  SPEEDFREAK [Trivial: Success] — What a small, lonely life. Do you have any friends who aren’t from work? VOLTA DO MAR — It’s a necessary evil. Your workload doesn’t allow you to do any more, and besides— it’s safer for everyone this way. The less you care about, the harder it is to hurt you.  SPEEDFREAK — But the way it is, you’re starving yourself.

[whatsnewalycat]

I just saw the title preview for the next psychomanteum chapter: is that be a Mars Volta reference? 👀 (coming from a Mars Volta fan lol)

HELL YEAH IT IS

[mountaingnomes]

I was wondering what bands you liked? And out of them, which one inspires you to write music the most?

This is such a cool question to be asked, thank you! These actually feel like two pretty separate questions to me. The first one is too jumbled to answer in a Tumblr post and I don't have brain right now, but I'll try?

My first real music love was Evanescence. I was obsessed. The sheer fucking primal emotion in their music combined with Lee's aesthetic & the cinematic feel of it all was catnippp to me. My second love was Coheed & Cambria (I was in a cover band in high school), for similar reasons + they were my first exposure to concept albums. Anyone who hasn't listened to their first 3 albums *needs* to. The Dear Hunter was also an early love of mine. Their frontman (and Tanner Merritt of O'Brother, look up their first Audiotree session and sink innnn) are my vocal inspirations. Shout-outs to Panic!'s first two albums, 2000s emo in general, and especially MCR (confirming here that Helena & Gerard is an MCR reference). I was also in a Mars Volta cover band in college, which was how I started getting any kind of decent at the instrument.

More recently (in addition to frequent visits to my old favorites) I have been loving PUP, The Hotelier, Sarah & the Safeword (you all would *love* them), The Oh Hellos, Freelance Whales first album, Hozier (oh god Hozier), Typhoon, Jank (first album) O'Brother (first two albums), San Fermin, The Suitcase Junket, Devil & the Deep Blue Sea, Raccoon Tour, As Tall as Lions, Island of Misfit Toys, Rainbow Kitten Surprise, Foxing, and Foxy Shazam (put on their self titled album for a fuckin' excellent time). The original Hadestown album also had a huge impact on me.

Who inspires me to write is a different question, because actually most of the songs I've written for Forgetmenauts all have specific feels of different artists that I intentionally wanted to incorporate. Imma go through the discography in order and see if I can pinpoint an inspiration for all the songs. Some are *really* specific, others just have a general feel.

Bestiary:

Leviathan- The Dear Hunter (specifically the song We've Got a Score to Settle)

Sirens- The Dear Hunter

Helena & Gerard- Freelance Whales' first album, or The Oh Hellos, maybe?

Tam Lin- Hozier

Charlatan in Red/Vixen's- mewithoutYou ("It's all crazy..." era)

Interlace of Bones- No idea. The banjo ones are honestly a lot harder to pinpoint.

GWMB- I blacked out while writing this song. I think that one came from somewhere special just for me. I got really, really lucky with that one.

Bats- I was just goofing around lol. Pick a punk band, any punk band.

Be Nimble, Be Quick

Jack- Guitar riff at the beginning is Explosions in the Sky. Lyrics, guitar etc. in the second part are The Dear Hunter x Hadestown

Card Shark- Tyler wrote the music on this one! My vocals are 100% The Dear Hunter tho

The Summer King- mewithoutYou, extremely intentionally

Bigfoot & Mothman- Foxy Shazam, baybee!!!

Persephone- O'Brother (Death of the Day era)

Dancing Plague- Thrice, I think

Wind in the Orchard- O'Brother again, I think

Thomas the Rhymer- 100% I was trying to write a Hozier guitar riff again. The screams at the end are Coheed & Cambria, a la Everything Evil

Faerie Queen- I was trying to write a Tiny Moving Parts riff. The vocals & melody feel pretty original to my own style, tho.

Truth be Told- Kit did all the lyrics & melody on this one. Guitar Moving Mountains (Pneuma era)

Ocean Song- Emma wrote this one! I had no input.

Unreleased (but in rotation):

Cottonwood- This one I really felt like I was drawing on the style that I've been cultivating over the course of this FMNs project.

Rusalka- I was trying to write a Typhoon song. Their album White Lighter is one of the few *perfect* works of art that I know of.

Persephone: I wrote this one back in college, actually, for a concept album I was working on at the time that never got finished. Some Hadestown in it, for sure, otherwise I couldn't tell ya.

--

This is the sort of question I always fantasized about getting asked back when I was first starting to write music in high school, it's really cool to have someone who only knows me from my work honestly interested in it. I love answer things like this, thank you so much again for asking! Hope it's a thorough enough answer, and I'm happy to elaborate on any, or hear what influences or echoes you hear in any of our songs.

Big love <3

[rabbit-habits]

@saltedpin​ tagged me to do the ‘ten songs you’re vibing to right now’ meme the other day! So here it is! In reality, most of the time I’m just listening to whatever YouTube puts in the My Mix playlist, but here are some songs I’ve actively sought out recently. Hopefully the links will work! Thank you for the tag, @saltedpin! I tag whoever would like to share their favorite music!

1. Sinnerman - Nina Simone

2. Empty Vessels Make the Loudest Sound - The Mars Volta. One of three songs that will kill me if played in combination with one another.

3. For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her - Simon & Garfunkel. The live versions where Art Garfunkel really lets loose are better.

4. Steak Knives - Man Man. I’m assuming the title refers to the knives this song stabs into me.

5. Burning Bride - Shilpa Ray. This version is so much better than the album version, though that too is excellent.

6. Now I’m Gone - Beirut

7. Bachelorette - Björk. I dream of writing a story that manages to convey the lines “I'm a path of cinders/Burning under your feet/You're the one who walks me/I'm your one way street”

8. One More Cup of Coffee - The White Stripes doing a haunting cover of Bob Dylan. I used to listen to this on repeat for my whole commute.

9. Wide Lovely Eyes - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. One of the songs I wanted played at my hypothetical funeral (hypothetical because I’m not going to have a funeral, not because I’m immortal) until it was replaced by “Distant Sky”. However, if I hear one note of “Distant Sky” right now, I will actually collapse, so here’s “Wide Lovely Eyes”!

10. Clouds - The Mars Volta. Another Mars Volta! Basically, if a faithful family servant was talking to me about my favorite bands, I’d be like, “Nelly, I AM The Mars Volta. They’re always, always in my mind...as my own being.” I played this particular song over and over the night Trump got elected, and I’ve been playing it a lot recently. I associate it with immense grief while still loving it.

Bonus: Nisi Dominus - Cum Dederit - Antonio Vivaldi, sung by Andreas Scholl. YouTube recommended a video comparing a bunch of singers singing this to determine which was the best, and Scholl wasn’t even included, which infuriated me to the point that I’m sharing it here!