#the moment i saw him let go of his selfishness and do something for luke | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

plush-rabbit · 3 years

Text

Divinity in Impurity

Request: Okay but what if I actually request solo Simeon and him moaning through prayers and being just totally repressed and painfully turned on because his precious lovely MC makes him go doki doki? And of course a shameful messy clean up :3c I love u bestieee ✨✨💋

Word Count: 2.5K

A/N: Couldn’t get this out of my head, I want him to be repressed and emotionally conflicted

Simeon enters the House of Lamentation, a gift bag in hand and he’s grateful none of the brothers are home. At least for Beel since the angel is sure that the gluttonous demon would’ve sniffed out the lovely baked goods that he carries. The home is quiet, but he knows you’re here. He sent you a message, confirming that you would be here. The house is empty and it’ll just be you and him, sharing a treat from his home and chatting away. It’s so rare to get you alone and while he’s glad that the brothers are there to protect you, they are also highly possessive, not letting a soul get near you and even less likely to allow someone to be alone with you for so long. There’s a light feeling in his chest, making his lungs expand with air, making him feel as if he’d float away from the simple joy of spending time with you. His cheeks are starting to hurt from the smile he has etched onto his face.

Guilt may lap at him for not informing Luke or Solomon of his whereabouts, but for just once, he wants to be alone with you. He wants to sit and talk about anything other than school work and how everyone can’t seem to focus on the task at hand. He wants to talk with you, learn more about you until you’re all that fills his mind. Or at least, occupy it.

He’s excited, standing at your door and he knocks, a smile on his face. Patience is something that he’s born with, having the time and mind to save those that stray from the path of light, to mentor the young angels, and to grant him his title. Yet, he can’t stay patient. He’s at your door, he can hear you hum and only a piece of wood separates you for him. His patience is thinned, eagerness taking over and he turns the knob to your door. All he wants to do is see you, to be unbothered as he spends time with you and listens to you talk. He wants you, that’s all he wants. The knob is cold underneath his hand, and he steps into your room, greeting you with a wide smile.

The bag tightens in his hands, his eyes widening slightly and smile falling. You stand in front of him, slightly turned away, a shirt pressed against your tummy, your chest bare and legs naked, the only clothing you have on is your underwear, shaped to your body. Your eyes are wide, a heavy flush takes over your face and he’s expecting you to yell, an apology already at his tongue, his eyes dipping for just a moment, catching the swell of your breasts, the lovely aroma of the cream you wear, your fingers that twitch ever so slightly as you grasp the shirt in your hand.

“Simeon?” You call, and he’s quick to dart his eyes back to meet yours- back to where they belong. “I appreciate you coming over, but could you-” you gesture your head towards the door- “you know, leave for a moment?” You smile at him, the shirt in your hands now fisted tightly.

“Ah, yes, of course.” He nods his head, trying painfully to grapes at his composure that is now slipping through his fingers. “I’m terribly sorry,” he mutters, exiting the door, the door clicking behind him.

Rather than sit there and wait, he glances at the door, knowing you’re behind it, your body untethered by cloth and bare. He leaves, his steps quick and quiet, walking away without so much as a goodbye. How could he possibly stay there? How could he look you in the eyes when he was so obviously staring at your body? How could he have done something so raw and primal of him- something that isn’t him.

He hadn’t meant to walk in on you while changing but- he bites his tongue, his face hot and an aching pain in stomach. There is no “buts” or ‘ifs’ or anything of the sort. He should have known to knock before he entered your room. He’s an angel, of course he should have knocked. It doesn’t matter if you two are close, it doesn’t excuse his action for being so forward. He was just so excited to go and see you, to gift you a treat sent from the Celestial Realm. Oh- the treat. It’s still in the bag, protected by a glass casing and covered with tissue papers that glitters under the light. He had forgotten to give it to you in his rush.

There’s no going back now, not when he saw you and had the audacity to even stare at you. He’s humiliated. His face burning and any breath that he has is taken from him, squeezed out of his body and forced out. He runs to the safety of his room, glad that no one seems to be home. He slams the door, his back pressed against the wood and when he closes his eyes, he can still see you- your body bare and nipples pert, your face holding a slight flush. He can see everything behind his eyes. The lock quickly snaps into place, his steps hurried as he walks toward the small table in his room.

He places the bag down on a table as he rests on the chair provided in his room. He leans back, the cushion soft underneath him. The wood is scratched at by his covered hands, his gaze focused on the wall. Simeon mumbles under his breath, an apology said to no one, his bottom lip teased by his teeth.

How could he possibly face you tomorrow? How could he do anything after what he just witnessed and did? He removes his gloves, dragging a free hand down his face, leaving the palm to cover his mouth. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he reaches for it in the same second, half hoping and half dreading that it’ll be you.

It is.

You ask where he went. You even apologize, saying that you mustn’t have heard him.

He laughs bitterly. You apologize to him. He was the one who entered your room without permission, invaded your trust and yet, you were the one who was apologizing. He simply leaves the message on read, not knowing what to tell you. Would you believe him if he told you that he had felt sick? Probably not, but for his sake, you would have, he’s sure of it.

He sucks in a deep breath, his eyes on the wall and there’s an unfamiliar itch in his body. Or rather an itch that he shouldn’t scratch at. Looking down only confirms his suspicion. He’s erect. Could it be from you? He sighs. What a silly question. Of course it is.

It’s wrong of him to even keep the image of you ingrained in his head. “Touch me, O Lord, and fill me with your light and your hope. Amen,” Simeon whispers under his breath, trying so desperately to keep his hands away from his erection. It pains him so, his body growing hotter by the second, sweat starting to bead and eyes watering at the tempting fate of actually touching himself to you. “Please Father,” he whispers, “grant me strength. I can’t- I am but a humble servant of yours. Please take away all these sinful thoughts.”

His chest trembles, his mouth dry and tongue thick. There’s a pressure against his stomach, his hands grip at his thighs, his head bowed and no matter what, you are just in his mind. Perhaps you’re the real sin, the real test in all of God’s Grand Plan. How is he supposed to be an angel when a human of all things is the one that is turning him to sin. The one being who has managed to ruin him, to unthread his wings and have him even think of reaching out to you and be selfish.

The unzipping of his zipper is loud, echoing in his ears, drowning out the holy blood that rushes inside of him. He lets out a sigh when his cock is free, the cool air in his room making contact with the hot flesh. When his hand wraps around himself, he lets out a sob. It’s filthy, but at the same time, it’s something that makes his mouth water and want more. You are the most beautiful sin, the one that he will risk everything for, for just a chance to touch you.

“Please forgive me,” he whispers. He’s unsure of who he’s speaking to. He doesn’t know if he’s asking father for forgiveness, unknowing if his message is reaching out, unknowing if he’s hidden from his light and his view; or if he’s apologizing to you, for walking in on you and now pleasuring himself to the thought of you.

You are all that invades his mind, his hand wrapped tightly around his cock, the ridges underneath his fingertips pulsing with heat. You stand bare in front of him, your body soft and blemished with little scars and ridges. He tightens his grip, his teeth clenched and jaw starting to ache. He’s touched your hand before, felt how soft you are, how loving your touch can be and he can only wonder if you're still gentle in bed. If you’d play the act of the blushing virgin under him, if you’d whimper and buck your hips if he were to kiss at your neck and cup your sex under his hand. You allowed him to stare, even if it was for just a moment, you had reelected so calmly, smiling at him, acting as if he were your lover who had seen your body countless times before. You are molded under God’s light, given freedom and kissed with the gentle lips of God, birthed and given existence, your path defined only by you, and you’ve allowed him to see that. You had acted so calmly, telling him with a smile if he could excuse himself for a bit. It’s almost as if you were used to that sort of thing. He stops in his movements, his eyes wide and breaths coming out in uneven pants. You live with demons, you must be used to that. To have such devils enter unannounced and watch you strip yourselves from your clothes.

The thought fills him with fury, his lips curled and brows knitted together. Yet, his hand continues to pump at his cock. The ridges near his cockhead tingle under his thumb, his head thrown back and eyes shut tightly.

His thighs tense, the muscles in him pulled taut as his grip tightens. “Something so tainted shouldn’t be the thing to witness you,” he hisses through his teeth, brows furrowed and hips bucking. “It’s outrageous that they’re the ones you live with. Beings so full-” his voice cracks, his head dipping down- “full of sin, touching and dirtying you.” His cockhead leaks with pearly white semen, dripping off his cock in heavy, thick strands.

When he closes his eyes, he can imagine you, dressed in white, spread before him, pleading with him to be gentle- you’d be the blushing virgin, ready to take in God’s Grace and kiss lips so pure that you’ll whine against him. You’ll be under him, your fingers lost in your sex as you tell him that you’ve been waiting for this moment. His pace quickens, his eyes closed as he thinks as to how you’d feel. Your thighs plump and your walls tight around his cock, your sex pulsing under his touch. You’d kiss him and he'd return it. He lets out a cracked moan, his breath sharp and head thrown back.

Beside him, his phone rings. He gives a slight turn, his clean hand going to lift the phone. A deep frown settles on his burning face as he realizes what he’s done and to who he’s done it to. Your image fills his phone, a call from you. He clears his throat, and quickly accepts your call.

“Simeon!” You sound worried and the tugs at his heartstrings and further cements his guilt. “I was worried, you didn’t reply to me. Are you okay?”

“I-” his voice cracks, and with a deeper flush, he clears his throat. He wonders if you know what he just did. He wonders if you would figure out what he’s doing as he listens to your voice. “Ah! I’m sorry, I thought I had replied to you but it seems like I hadn’t. I- uh,” he bites on his lip, trying in vain to muffle his moan- “My mistake. I- I just, I needed to get something,” his voice strains at the last word. “I’ll be over shortly. I promise.”

“Simeon,” the way you call his name makes him tug harder at his cock, “if this is about what you saw, then it’s okay. I know you. You didn’t mean to.” You sound so sweet, trying to comfort him while he’s doing something so perverse. “Listen, if you want, we can forget that that happened and start new, okay?”

“Really?” he breathes out, already closer to his high. “I would appreciate that. I-” His nail grazes over a vein and he lets out a deep groan.

“Simeon, you okay?” You say hurriedly. “You sound hurt.”

“I just bumped into a table,” he laughs breathlessly, his phone pressed roughly into his ear. “I’m sorry for worrying you,” he mumbles. “I’ll be over shortly, my dear. Just wait a moment.”

He barely has a chance to hear you say goodbye before he ends the call. “Fuck,” he groans, snapping his mouth close and turning his head, sliding his hand up and down his cock. Clicking noises fill the room, his cock pulsing in his hand, feeling as if it were about to burst. So heavy and foreign in his hand, Simeon pushes past the thought of his own hand touching himself, and tries to imagine yours. He thinks of your voice, of how you said his name, rushed and high, calling out to him.

You’re this glowing thing, something so pure but also full of sin, so human and lovely for it. You’d be this thing he was able to touch, this person who would love him and beg for touch. Under his wing, you’d be protected, cared and loved. Tears brim his eyes, trailing down his cheeks in hot flashes, sparking and disappearing into nothing before they have the chance to wet his hand. He’s already so close, his stomach knotting together, and body beginning to shake. As he releases, his free hand covers his mouth, muffling his moans that are drenched in cries. His seed is thick, coating his hand and leaving him in burning ropes. He looks at his hand covered in semen and he wonders if you would have been so kind to lick it off of him, to treat him as if it were your finest meal. His cock twitches at the thought, dribbling out more semen onto the seat.

Simeon lays in his afterglow, taking deep, slow breaths, his palm open, his seed dripping onto the floor in syrupy strands. The tear tracks begin to dry, his eyes still watery and the image of his ceiling blurry. With a wince, he stands, and grabs at his soft cock, walking to the nightstand and pulling out tissues. It’s humiliating to cleanse himself, to dry off his semen and to wash his hands. He can’t touch you with his hand, with a hand that had sullied the image of you in his mind, that had gripped at his own cock and covered himself in seed. The semen comes off of him in rushed waves, slipping down the drain and leaving his hand wet and clean as if there was nothing there to begin with. In the mirror, he is greeted by his reflection- messy hair and flushed cheeks, tears in his eyes and puffy lips from being bitten by. He wonders if you’d recognize this dirtied version of an angel when he greeted you. He wonders if you’d still hold his hand that grasped his cock not too long ago. With another message from you, he grabs the sweet he was supposed to bring, giving a glance to the gloves that rest on the arm of the chair. With a sigh, he decides to leave them there, hoping to hold your hand and memorize the feel of it

#obey me #obey me swd #obey me simeon smut #obey me simeon x reader #obey me simeon imagines #obey me simeon headcanons #obey me simeon x mc #obey me simeon #i want him to cry #i want him to be a big crier #but i also want him to be super gross and indulge in his sin #like he's pent up #let him ya know #go buck wild and stuff

676 notes · View notes

gffa · 3 years

Note

Do you think that if Padme and Anakin were reunited in the afterlife and she also saw all the things he had done as Darth Vader, would she still be with him/love him?

I'm setting aside all questions about logistics of how something would even be possible or any other worldbuilding, focusing just on Padme's reaction if she saw Anakin again--I think it's less a question of if she would still be with him, than if she would still love him. I think Padme is someone who knows how to let go, she died and whether or not it was her time, it happened and she would move on to become part of the Force, part of the universe. But that she saw the good in Anakin even after he murdered innocent people, innocent children, twice. Her issue, when she backs away from him, is that she sees he has no intention of coming back in that moment, that he's turned into this person who doesn't just stumble over his (horrific) actions sometimes, but cares more about what he wants and what he feels and his own greed for keeping people in his possession, than he does about those people for themselves. That he has no intention of trying to come back from this. When he lets go of his selfishness on the second Death Star, when he sacrifices himself, when he finally cares more about saving Luke despite that he will have no presence in Luke's life if he does this, that's when Padme would forgive him and accept him again. When she died, she still believed there was good in him, and I think seeing those 24 years of Darth Vader and all the terrible things he'd done might crush that belief, I do think that when he shows compassion and selflessness again, she would rise with that hope, just as Obi-Wan and Yoda did, when they helped Anakin to become a Force Ghost. But also I think she's dead and she's not a Jedi who interacts with the Force differently than the way a non-Force sensitive being does, and I think she would pass into the ether because that was what's natural for her when she died. So, sort of yes, sort of no to your question! 😂

#anakin skywalker #padme amidala #anidala

66 notes · View notes

heliads · 3 years

Text

Loved and Leaving

Based on another (!) entry for my fave @lxncelot‘s writing competition for Luke Skywalker using the prompts “I told you we’d meet again, didn’t I?”, “But you’re here, so stay”, and “I never forgot.”

masterlist

You take one last look before you go. If you were smart, you never would have turned around, and gotten on board the shuttle before you had the chance to second guess yourself. You could have stepped through the door and left your entire life, your home and family and friends behind, and never spared a second thought to anyone else. That’s what Luke did, anyway, so it’s almost like you’re owed this moment of selfishness.

You don’t, though. For all your talk of Luke Skywalker’s stupidly big heart, he was the one who could head off without a second glance back. You, instead, are the one who turns and looks out over the endless sand dunes. They don’t seem so rough now that you aren’t among them anymore; they’ve been smoothed out into rolls of tawny silk and satin that seem to billow in the harsh wind. If Luke had turned back and seen you here, he might have stayed.

Those times are over, though. You knew something was wrong the second you saw his battered speeder coming to a stop near your home. You live on a moisture farm just like him, which is why you didn’t even have to see the furrow in his brows to figure out that something happened, something wrong. Usually, he’d be off fiddling with the vaporators or trying to convince his uncle and aunt to let him slip out to Tosche Station for a few standard hours, even though it never works. Needless to say, he’d never be heading over to your place during the workday, especially not with a hooded stranger seated beside him.

You drop your tools in a bin nearby and start to walk over to him, although you break into a jog when you see that he’s running too, blond hair dashing against his eyes as he goes. Luke looks relieved when he finally spots you, although that’s never concerned him long. For some reason, Luke has always been able to find you, even in the thickest crowds that a backwater desert like Tatoooine can conjure up in its seedy excuses of cities. It’s like he instinctively knows a way to you, even if his eyes are closed and he can’t be sure of anything else.

You dust your hands off on your trousers, feeling somehow self-conscious now that he’s standing so close to you. Insignificancies like dirt or sand have never mattered to Luke, but they matter to you, especially when he’s around. At last, you can finally stand to look him in the eyes as if to say ‘here I am, now what do you think of me?’, and straighten your shoulders a little to further your point.

“What happened?”

Neither of you need context, you never have. Luke glances quickly behind him at the rusting red speeder; the strange man still waits there patiently, although you have the strange feeling that he can probably tell exactly what you’re saying, even at such a distance.

Luke sighs. “I have to go.”

For a moment, you think you’ve misheard him. “Go where? Tosche?” He has this strange look on his face, like this is goodbye. Maybe you’re thinking too small. “Mos Eisley?”

Luke shakes his head. “I have to leave the planet.”

His words don’t resonate for a second, and when they do, you’re left reeling like he’s hit you. You notice that Luke has the fading impression of a bruise across his temples, and although you don’t entirely know what injury caused that, you think it sufficiently represents the hurt you’re feeling now, like he had to bear the blow before he could say it.

Your voice is quiet, barely a whisper above the wind roaring across the dunes. “The planet? Luke, what happened? I thought Beru and Owen were never going to let you leave for the Imperial Academy.”

It’s been a joke between the two of you, how no matter how hard Luke tries, his aunt and uncle keep coming up with excuses to make him stay at home.

You had a dream, once, that the two of you would scrounge up enough money to get on a ship and just go, whether it was to the Academy after all or just some planet that wasn’t this one. Although Luke is still in front of you and telling you he’s about to leave, you get the feeling that this isn’t the same. Sometimes, dreams are just that: a dream, and Luke looks closer to living a nightmare than anyone you’ve ever seen.

The second you say Beru and Owen’s names, Luke flinches as if he’s been slapped. For the first time, you notice that his eyes are red, and his voice sounds hoarse, as if he’s been screaming for no one to hear. “They’re dead.” He lets the words go slowly, like watching sand trickle out from between your fingers.

Your hand flies to your mouth. “Luke, I’m so sorry.”

You’ve known Luke since you were a child, and Beru and Owen had long since accepted the fact that Luke would be splitting his time between your house and theirs. In a way, you’d come to think of them as another family, one that smiled at you and Luke whenever you came over to visit and outstayed anyone else’s welcome.

Owen Lars had taught you how to know your way around a multitool, the different droids and how to spot a scam when the jawas came searching for buyers. Beru had kept you for dinner hundreds of times over, when you and Luke lost track of time and she insisted that you not take the trip out over the dunes at night.

That was when you were younger, anyway; you and Luke have long since given up on that rule, electing instead to sneak into his speeder and ride off into the dark, laughing at jokes that weren’t even funny and pretending you didn’t lean closer to each other when you hear the slightest of sounds echoing across the distant night.

All this, and it isn’t nearly enough to compare to Luke’s memories of them. No wonder he wants to go- how could he stay, when everything here reminds him of his family? Luke’s jaw is stiff, and he seems unwilling if not outright unable to speak on it further. Out of some impulse brought on by the fact that everything already seems so wrong, you reach out and take his hand. Luke startles for a second, then wraps his other hand around yours.

“We’ll find a way out. Where are you going?”

An incredulous half-smile appears on Luke’s lips, as if he can’t believe it himself. “Alderaan.”

You let out a shaky breath. “Alderaan. Wow.”

Alderaan had been one of the first places you wanted to go. Luke said he’d rather go someplace with more buildings, like Coruscant, but you’d still cherished the image of that blue-green world when the days got hard over here. Even after you grew out of luck and chance, it still remained a fond memory. And here he is now, going, and here you are, staying.

It hits you then, that he is leaving. You’ve been able to read Luke since you were six, and what he’s silently telling you now is that he is leaving alone. This is not a greeting, this is a goodbye. It hurts like a killing blow to lose Beru and Owen but you cannot- you will not- let go of Luke. You can only bear so much.

“Don’t go, Luke. Please. You can stay here- you know my parents would jump at the chance to have you, they’ve always liked you better than me anyways, and we can find a place for all your things, and-”

Luke cuts you off slowly. “I can’t, Y/N. I’m sorry. I wish I could, but I have to leave. It wouldn’t work.”

You shake your head beseechingly. “It would, we’d find a way. We always do, don’t we? It might seem like you have to go, but you’re here, so stay. Stay with me.”

For a moment, Luke takes a step forward, as if he’s going to follow you back inside. Then he turns back towards the speeder, and his shoulders slump. “I can’t.” He says it simply, but it cuts like a blade.

You nod slowly. “Okay.”

Your time for words is over. If you cannot convince your best friend, your closest friend, maybe even the only friend who has ever meant more to you than a pastime, why waste your breath? He’ll never listen for it anyway.

If you can read Luke like a book, then he can read you too. He knows you, and he knows that hurt in your eyes. His hand drifts up to your cheek, tilting your face up so you look at him again. The suns make his eyes shine like glass, and you tell yourself to remember what they look like because you’ll likely never see them again. He will go off to Alderaan, and you will stay here and blend into the sand and suns until there is no more of you but a whisper, and who would tell it but him?

“Don’t look at me like that. Please. If I could stay, I would. You have to know that.”

As much as it twists the knife to admit it, you do know him. He’s telling the truth, even if it hurts. You nod, and Luke seems relieved. He starts to turn away, and you’re seized by some fierce need to make sure he stays, even if it’s for just a little longer. “You’re going to find a ship, right? I can meet you there.”

Luke frowns. “What about your parents?”

You wave a hand dismissively. “They’ve owed me a trip out of here for some time. Promise me you’ll wait, I can meet you in the town.”

Luke nods slowly. “I’ll come.”

You smile happily. “I’ll be here. Stay safe.”

Luke touches your hand one more time before he goes, then walks back over to the speeder and disappears into the dunes again. You watch him go, then hurry back inside to pack your things.

It occurs to you belatedly that Luke never specified a time that he would come get you, or that he truly said he’d pick you up. You wait by your door for a while, even after the suns set over the dunes and the horizon grows dark. The night had never stopped him from coming before, but the hours roll by and he still does not come. Eventually, you have to admit it to yourself: he’s gone, and he is never coming back.

You knew that, didn’t you? Luke is caring, and Luke is kind, but Luke is gone. You wait another day, just in case, even though you know he won’t be there. It is after the disappointment and grief fades that your sadness begins to harden into anger. Why should you depend on Luke, anyways? You head back inside, but keep your things packed. You inform your parents that you’ll be going, and although they try to convince you to stay so you can help on the farm, they can tell that you’ve had enough.

You leave a few days later, grabbing your few possessions and getting a ride to Mos Eisley. There’s a passenger freighter leaving in two standard hours, and you manage to book a spot by selling a few of your less-valued belongings. Eventually, you find yourself on the runway, looking out as you step onto the ramp.

Some part of you misses it already: the feeling of the wind billowing against your clothes, the hot sun on your cheeks as you smile, racing through the dunes as you and Luke think up the most impossible routes to fly on your speeders. However, the problem of having most of your good memories of your home center around Luke is that missing him sours them, leaves them ragged at the edge and free to cut you instead of comfort.

You turn and board the transport. There’s a place near the side that’s open, and you prop your bags by your feet. You’re not sure where you’re going, but one thing is for certain: it’s better than here. You find a destination eventually, after the shuttle takes two stops to let off the usual bouts of unruly passengers and allow even more windstruck fools to get on board. As you’re shifting slightly in your seat, adjusting the fold of your bag beneath you, you hear a trio of people in front of you talking in hushed voices. After a moment, you realize they’re talking about the Rebellion.

In the time it takes for the transport to take off and come to a landing that’s far too jarring for your liking, you learn that the three passengers are definitely Rebels, and heading back to a pickup point after a mission. You consider your risks, then decide to ignore them. You’re already on a starship going nowhere, what else could happen?

The trio gets off on the next stop, and you follow them. You hurry to catch up to them, although not so fast that you attract Imperial attention, then speak casually to them under your breath about joining. About thirty minutes later, you’re waiting with them to get onboard another cruiser, this one destined for Yavin IV.

Truth be told, you’re kind of surprised about how easy it was to join. Things get progressively more difficult when you land on board the planet and are sent through a vetting process so difficult you’re not sure if your own father would pass, but you still turn up on the other side, clutching an orange flight suit.

When they heard you wanted to fly, they sent you on some piloting test, but you passed it with flying colors. You’ve spent enough time crushing through canyons with Luke that it almost feels easy to go in a straight line or do a few turns in a ship that actually works without hours of repairs.

Thus begins the next part of your life as a Rebel pilot. You do your best to focus on your given missions instead of allowing your thoughts to drift back to one Luke Skywalker, but this gets progressively difficult, especially after you hear that Princess Leia has returned with a certain blond farm boy in tow. At first, you’re excited to see him, but some part of you keeps holding back. Hadn’t he been the one to leave you behind on that sandy rock?

So you don’t end up talking to Luke after all. This isn’t to say that you’re avoiding him, only that you aren’t seeking him out. If your paths are meant to cross, let them. Luke has never had trouble finding you when he wishes, although that usually happens when he knows you’re there.

It does hurt, though, his absence, especially when you know he’s on the same base as you. You keep spotting messy heads of blond curls or a flash of blue eyes through the narrow corridors of the Rebel base and feel your heart skip a beat, only to find out that it’s not Luke at all. When the order comes through that all Rebel pilots will be shipping out to try and take down the Death Star, the only thing you can do is silently hope that he’ll be alright. In the end, that’s all anyone can do, isn’t it? Hope, and hope that their dreams aren’t so foolish that they fall flat.

At the end of that night, after you’ve lost half your flight crew and you manage to take down scores of enemy TIE fighters, you realize that you can’t keep this up. Every time you saw an X-Wing go down in flames, you were certain that it was Luke. Once the battle is over and you climb back out of your fighter, you know then and there that you have to see him.

It doesn’t take that long to find him. This is partially due to the fact that everyone on base wants to congratulate and shake the hand of Luke Skywalker, the guy who blew up the Death Star, but also because he’s still your friend. Even after he manages to shake the crowds, though, you know how to find him. You always do.

Luke is staring out a large bay window at the expanse of green beneath him. You can understand the look of quiet awe on his face- the first time you saw a planet with that much life, you couldn’t look away. Before you can lose your nerve, you call out to him.

“I hear you’re quite the hero, Luke.”

You watch as he stiffens slightly in surprise, and then, when recognition dawns, turns around. You swear you can see his eyes light up.

“Y/N?”

He rushes over to you, picking you up and spinning in a slow circle. When he finally puts you down, he looks hesitant to even let you go, and keeps his arms around your waist, just to make sure that you’re really here.

You smile. “Surprise.”

Luke is beaming. “What are you doing here? I thought you were back-“ His voice breaks off as he remembers the details of his departure from Tatooine, how he’d left you behind without another word. “Stars, Y/N, I’m sorry about what happened. I tried to get back but all these guys started shooting at us- I never should have left you, and I’m sorry.”

You don’t have it in you to be angry anymore. “It’s okay, Luke. I told you we’d meet again, didn’t I?”

A soft smile replaces itself on Luke’s face. “That you did. So you’re a pilot, then?” He asks, taking in your uniform.

You nod, grinning. “I joined up about a week ago. Seems like those Imperial fighters are no match for a couple of kids from Tatooine, huh?”

Luke’s laughter is like the sound of bottled sunshine finally uncorked for all to hear. “I’ve never heard something more true than that. I came back from the Death Star a little while ago, but it feels like I never stopped running since I took off from Mos Eisley.”

His face takes on a somber, softer tint as he remembers what happened on his trip. “I wanted to tell you what Alderaan was like, but we didn’t make it in time before the Empire destroyed it. I knew that was a dream of yours, to go.”

You glance up at him, surprised. “That was a long time ago. I didn’t know you remembered it.”

Luke smiles gently, reaching one hand forward to brush an errant piece of hair out of your face. “I never forgot. Not anything, not when it comes to you.”

There’s a certain truth in your words that makes your heart stumble. Luke’s hand freezes there, pressed against your cheek, but you’re not entirely sure that you want him to take it away.

He leans forward, so slow for someone who’s usually running around like there’s no tomorrow, and softly presses a kiss to your forehead. The two of you stay there, afraid to move lest you shatter the quiet solitude of the moment, until the sound of approaching footsteps from the corridor outside makes you startle and break away.

Luke glances towards the door with more than a little irritation, but you just smile. “Come visit me when you’re through with hero duties. I think we have a lot to talk about.”

Luke nods, although he looks just as reluctant as you do to leave. All the same, for once you don’t have to worry about trying to stretch each second into an eternity- he’ll always be here, just like you will. No more reason to run.

star wars tag list: i would simply stay for you bestie @rogueanschel, @caswinchester2000

#oliveswc #luke skywalker #luke skywalker imagines #luke skywalker x reader #luke skywalker oneshot #star wars #star wars imagines #star wars x reader #star wars oneshot #star wars luke #star wars luke imagines #star wars luke x reader #star wars luke oneshot

129 notes · View notes

stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 3 years

Text

One of my favorite narrative choices/interpretations in twdg is how tied together Clementine’s “death” scene and Lee’s death are. Yeah sure, there are the obvious visual parallels but that’s not exactly what I’m talking about.

For the longest time, I was one of the people who always shot Lee, y’know? It just makes sense, you can’t let Lee become a walker, it’s so much more tragic for Clementine to be the one to put him down. Clearly shooting him is the right answer. After all, the player percentages don’t lie.

But then years passed and I eventually played the other route where I asked Clementine to leave Lee, and I am no longer one of those people.

Don’t get me wrong. Both endings make me cry. They’re powerful in different ways, but there’s something about the way that leaving Lee to turn into a walker can affect an interpretation of TFS and Clementine as a character.

[note: this turned into a bit of a Clementine character analysis and it’s long and I’m sorry that this is the way I am]

Y’see, having played through the series as much as I have, I’ve grown to love this narrative that you can build leading back to this choice and the ways it stuck with Clementine over the years, and subsequently affects the way she raises AJ.

When you ask Clementine to leave Lee, he gets the chance to give her a little more advice and it get progressively heavy:

Lee: You can leave me. It's okay.

Clementine: You'll be just like them.

Lee: It's okay. It won't be me.

Clementine: Lee...

Lee: Clem, it's time to go. You gotta get out of here.

Clementine: You can come with me.

Lee: No, honey, I can't. It's okay.

Clementine: Please?

Lee: You have to go, now.

Clementine: Maybe...maybe...I shouldn't let you turn.

Lee: I don't want you to have to do that.

From here, you have a set of options that allows Lee to explain why she shouldn’t shoot him: Shooting people changes you and Lee doesn’t want Clem to get used to that, she can remember him alive as her last memory of him rather than her shooting him, she should save the bullet, or the noise will draw more attention than it’s worth.

After that, depending on your choices, he’ll further explain himself. I usually get:

Lee: Pulling the trigger of a gun and ending a life, Clem...you feel yourself lose something every time. The first time, the most. Don't do it unless you absolutely have to.

Clementine: I'll go. I'll...leave you. I'll go as fast as I can.

Lee: And as safe as you can. Always be safe.

Lee is barely breathing at this point, he can’t keep his eyes open, he looks like he’s on the verge of turning into a walker at any moment. Clementine, gun her in her little hands, turns to him and one last time, asks him not to go.

Like… the whole scene is more than enough to make you teary eyed.

There are a lot of reasons for making this choice, most of which you’re allowed to explain through Lee. Some people have a more logical take on this by saying that it doesn’t matter if Lee turns or not, Clementine isn’t in danger with him chained up, therefore she doesn’t have to waste a bullet in killing him. That bullet might be the difference between life and death in the future.

Then there’s a more emotional approach of not wanting Clementine to be the one to have to kill Lee, forever traumatizing her even further after everything she went through with the stranger and her parents. Lee can’t ask her to do that, he can’t force this little girl to kill him just so that he won’t turn into a walker. It’ll change her.

I like to think it’s all of the above. Lee’s made sure that he can’t get to her, she’s armed and knows how to protect herself, and he cares more about her having an extra bullet that could save her life rather than wasting it on him when no matter what, death is inevitable for him. It’s like what he says about Larry if you tried to save him:

“It's like with Larry, honey. He was goin', one way or another. But at that moment I couldn't do more violence. You have to be careful about that. It'll consume you.”

She shouldn’t do that if she doesn’t have to. Lee has no idea what’s going to happen after he dies, if he’ll just be dead and gone or if part of him will remain as a walker, or something else. He reassures her that the walker left in his place won’t actually be him, but no one actually knows that. Yet, that doesn’t matter, he cares more about Clementine than himself at this point.

But what does this choice do to Clementine?

Sure, she doesn’t have to live with the fact that she killed the man who swore to protect her, even after she was indirectly responsible for him getting bitten in the first place. He asked her to leave him there, to let him become a monster, to leave before she could see him like that. He makes sure she knows that this was the right thing, the best thing for everyone, and I do think she believed him, or at least want to, in that moment. Underneath her grief and stress of the worst day of her life, she at least had Lee’s last words to her and his reassurance that she’s going to make it through this.

But then we move onto the other seasons, and Clementine isn’t the little girl she was in the first season. Season two is pretty much summed up with: “Clementine does ANYTHING and gets punished for it.”

She goes through so much shit in S2. You can try to make all the morally good choices you want and Clementine will still end up getting slapped around, people she grows to care about fall dead all around her, and she gets a lot of blame for it. She’s forced to kill a dog that attacks her, Kenny lashes out at her more than once, blaming her for Sarita’s death no matter what you do, she can’t save Sarah, she couldn’t save Luke, everything is falling apart and by the end, everyone’s fucking dead with the exception of either Jane or Kenny, depending on you choices.

Clementine carries all this shit with her, like Kenny and Bonnie telling her that just because she’s a little girl, she thinks she can get people killed and it’s okay since she’s sorry. Of course she’s going to internalize all of it and bring it back to Lee. She has conversations with Kenny where she’ll open up about how it was her fault he died. Kenny, for all his faults, will usually try to reassure her that it wasn’t.... but then pulls the shit he does so y’know... mixed messages that help no one.

But by the end of it, no matter what ending you get, little newborn AJ is left in Clementine’s care.

From all of this, we know that Clementine tends to blame herself for the deaths of those she cares about, which is traced back to Lee. It’s when we get to ANF that her tune changes a bit. She’s jaded, bitter, selfish, and Lee was right..... all of this violence did change her.

I mean, she just fucking shoots the guy who traded her bad bullets, and while she didn’t mean to... she still pointed a loaded gun at his head and pulled the trigger, something Lee taught her to never do unless she had to. Then, she wants Javi to cover for her, to lie... and if you don’t, because hey murder and lying bad, she gets upset and tries to make Javi feel like an asshole for telling the truth rather than validating her actions.

When I say ANF Clementine is my least favorite, it’s because her behavior, while it makes sense, is so frustrating and unbearable at times. It making sense doesn’t excuse it.

She steals, lies, pulls several Kennys where she gets pissy when you don’t do what she wants you to, is willing to assist in Lingard’s death if it benefits her without even considering any other options or what a dark place he’s in, and she’s at a point where she just assumes everyone around her will inevitably die or leave her. That’s just what happens, that’s why she’s alone, and as a means of coping, she tries to spin it this way to alleviate some of the pain she’s had thrown at her for years.

Now, ANF Clementine isn’t all bad, she has a lot of redeeming moments where the Clem I knew in the past two seasons will shine through. You as Javi can help her grow and get onto a better path than the one she was goin’ down. She makes friends with Gabe, which is important since as far as we know, she hasn’t had a friend close to her age since Sarah. She has hope again after David tells her AJ survived, and she has more than just survival on her mind.

It’s just.... it’s sad to think that she’s at a point where she seems to have momentarily forgotten Lee’s final words to her. And when I think about it..... this behavior would almost make more sense if she DID shoot Lee, y’know? But in this timeline we’re discussing, she didn’t, she left him to turn and he gave his reasons for why he wanted that... but she still ended up this way. Nothing he could say or do could’ve prevented that.

But at the end of ANF, Clementine has one goal: get AJ back.

Through all of this, through ANF and before the events of TFS... I truly believe that Clementine lost herself.

She’s forgotten a lot of the things Lee taught her, she’s forgotten about her parents in the sense of “what would they think if they saw me now,” she’s overwhelmed with all that bad that those good things, that hope she had, has been put on the backburner.

She’s been forced to live in a world that’s cruel to you no matter if you’re “good” or “bad”, and that can put you into that selfish mindset where you tend to just disregard everyone you don’t have any emotional connection to, and even then, people you’re close to will get the same treatment, whether intentional or not. It’s unflattering, unlikable, and the only reason more people don’t see that is because it’s Clementine.

It gets to a point where she has a few different paths she can go on, and right now, she’s on a destructive one.

I think through knowing the Garcia’s, she was put on a better path but she’s still lost. She’s hyper focused on getting AJ back. Nothing else matters, nothing will stand in her way, and that leads to a breaking point in her character.

So...the McCarroll Ranch flashback is a thing.

The varying interpretations of this scene are interesting to discuss.

Some will say Clementine was continuing her extremely selfish and destructive behavior when she found the ranch in flames and was willing to commit more murder in order to get AJ back, even if it meant traumatizing him with the death of his caretaker, and if she had shown up earlier before they were under attack, who knows how far she would’ve gone to take him away.

Others say no, that Clementine found the ranch compromised, she was acting in self-defense when she shot Eddie and AJ’s caretaker, Helen. It was either her or Clementine, as Helen was pulling a gun out when she spotted Clem, who reacted accordingly. If she hadn’t shown up, perhaps AJ wouldn’t be alive right now. We don’t know.

For me, it’s a bit of both. She finds the ranch and panics because yeah, it’s on fire and there are assholes running around, shooting the place up. She holds Eddie at gunpoint, demanding to know where the kids are. He thinks she’s another asshole raider and even tells her that he’s not gonna let her take a kid, and she kills him. She doesn’t try to explain herself, she just demands the info and kills him. It’s not great, but yeah, he would've hurt her if she didn’t kill him.

Then, she hears Helen talking to AJ, who is in the locker. I don’t know why she didn’t say anything. There isn’t an option to. Maybe she thought silence was the more peaceful route, or it would give her an upper hand. But, then Helen hears here and panics, pulls out a gun, and Clementine shoots her.

This is the moment.

She shoots this woman in the children’s room, and after examining her body, realizes that she was the one caring for AJ. Clementine is looking over this woman, and you get pieces of her thoughts like-

“She was taking care of him”

“I had no choice”

“I’m sorry”

Then, Clementine finally gets what she’s longed for- she has AJ back... and he’s covered in blood, sobbing, terrified of her. She coaxes him out of the locker and he sees his caretaker dead on the floor.

This scene, with Clementine looking at the body, walking through rubble and fire to put AJ in the car, he’s staring up at her with this unfamiliar look in his eyes.... and she stops for a second...

I truly feel like this is the moment where Clementine is suddenly hit by everything all at once, and she’s actually questioning, “Oh god..... who am I? How did I get here and what have I done?”

She did all of this for AJ, and now she has him, so it was worth it, right? Everything she did was a necessary evil and it was worth it... right?

... but imagine if Clementine did inject Lingard, killing him. She assisted in a man's death to get here. Was taking his life necessary? If you know how the choices work, then no, it’s not. But Clementine doesn’t know that.

If you stopped her, then she still gunned down several people to stand where she is. She’s has left AJ so wounded by killing Helen, and while we know she didn’t have a choice in the moment, AJ doesn’t understand that. He doesn’t even recognize Clementine and she can see that in the way he looks at her.

“Pulling the trigger of a gun and ending a life, Clem...you feel yourself lose something every time.....”

TFS is where I think Clementine has found herself again and that’s why she’s more balanced and likable, and there are more references to Lee and her parents.... yeah, I know it’s mostly the writers doing it for fanservice and to make us cry, but I’m choosing to look at it in the narrative rather than with that intention.

Clementine has AJ back, she’s been raising him the best way she can, she’s taught him to use a gun since he needs to protect himself, and Lee taught her when she was little, too. She’s taught him to read, taught him survival techniques she’s picked up, all that. She’s also more playful with him, she smiles more. She’s not a bitter 13-year-old like in ANF. Survival and safety is #1 and her attitude is mostly serious, but she isn’t afraid to tease or be a little silly.

But here’s the deal..... usually when I replay the series, I’ll leave Lee to turn but I’ll have Clementine tell AJ that if she ever gets bit, he’ll shoot her.

“What?” I hear you say. “But... haven’t you been rambling on and on about how murder bad and how leaving Lee was better because she didn’t have to live with the fact that she killed him?? but you want AJ to?? CJ you make no sense!”

I know that, but allow me to elaborate. Remember, this is all my interpretation after years of replaying this series. This is the narrative I find most enjoyable. This is my Clementine and the way I interpret her.

So, Clementine listens to Lee and leaves him to turn into a walker. He tells her that it won’t be him, he’ll be dead and gone, save the bullet. Yeah, yeah, I already covered this. But remember my “what does this do to Clementine?” question?

I swingin’ back to it because I didn’t really answer it directly, now did I? It’s basically followed up with another question: What if Clementine comes to regret leaving Lee instead of shooting him?

She herself even says that maybe she shouldn’t let him turn, and he tells her he doesn’t want her to have to do that. She listened to him, and left him behind to turn into one of the monsters that tore their world apart. She’s lived with the fact that she’s the reason Lee was bitten, that he died.... but there was always another thing that pricked needles into her guilt: Lee’s a walker. He’s going to spend the rest of eternity as a walker handcuffed to a heater. There is the big possibility that no one will ever find him, will never kill this walker version of him.

Was that the right thing to do?

I don’t know about you, but the walker debate is kinda fun to explore, and oh boy, do they try to explore it in TFS.

It’s easy for us to be like “Nope, there is nothing to walkers because they’re dead. Nothing human is left behind. Leaving Lee is fine.”

…but then I have to ask, why did most people shoot him when the episode released? Why do people still pick that option? You don’t want Lee to be a walker, but at the same time, it’s actually fine because nothing about him would be left behind?

Is it because you couldn’t handle seeing him as a walker and didn’t know if the ending would show it or not? It doesn’t, you know that now. Were you afraid he would hurt anyone else? Well, you chained him up. He’s not going anywhere. He’s no longer a threat.

So why do so many people still choose to shoot Lee and insist it’s the right choice even if by this logic, it doesn’t matter if he’s a walker because it’s not him? Save the bullet, don’t put Clementine through that, right?

Maybe you just like the way the tragedy plays out when Clementine shoots him, and that’s perfectly fine. Maybe you don’t believe there’s more to walkers, but still pick this because how can you not? It’s Lee! He can’t become a walker.

Again, I feel you. My reasons for always shooting him in the past were that. It’s Lee, he can’t become a walker. I can’t do that to him. I love him, and that would be wrong.

But that’s the thing... I believe we’re not the only ones having this debate. Clementine is having this internal debate within herself at different points over the series, but it’s especially prominent in TFS.

Lee asked her to leave him, but was that really the right thing to do? He took care of her, saved her life and taught her to survive, and after he was bitten, she left him to turn into a monster. He didn’t deserve that, but his final wish was for her to leave. Should she have shot him anyway, ignoring his wishes? Would that have been worse? Disrespectful? Is it okay to ignore his wish if you think he’s wrong and you think you know what’s best?

What if there is a part of him still inside that walker form? There’s no way to know that. What if she condemned a part of him to cruel fate because she didn’t shoot him? What if he’s truly gone and she’s worrying herself over nothing? What if she had shot him and needed that bullet later, or what if the noise drew attention?

...What about her parents? They were walkers, too... roaming the street together... are they suffering, too? Or are they truly gone?

I believe this is what lead to her decision to tell AJ that if she ever gets bitten, he should shoot her. All of these thoughts and regrets can resurface depending on your choices, like in the dorms at the beginning of ep2.

AJ: You told me your friend Lee became a monster. But you didn't kill him... because he wasn't a threat. Is that why you didn't kill him?

Clementine: He didn't want me to. He said it would change me forever. But I know he...

AJ: He became a monster. Do you wish you did?

Clementine: Yeah.... Every day.

Or, alternatively:

Clementine: How can you ask me that? What you did is completely different.

AJ: I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to make you mad, at all.

Clementine: .....I...I can still hear him. Telling me not to do it.

AJ: I said I'm sorry.

Clementine: ...I still hear it, sometimes.

and yeah, yeah, I know that this isn’t canon for everyone. Reminder that this is my Clementine interpretation and it’ll probably differ from yours, hence why we’re going over these specific choices.

Looking at these responses, Clementine admits that she wishes she had shot Lee, that even though he told her that it would change her and she shouldn’t have to... she still left him to die alone and change. Maybe she doesn’t even fully understand WHY he asked her to do that... why didn’t he ask her to shoot him? Did he think she couldn’t? Even though he kept telling her that she had it in her to defend herself? Wasn’t he scared of what would happen afterward? What if Lee was so sick and out of it due to the bite that he wasn’t thinking right?

Again, all these kinds of questions could possibly run through her mind, which in turn affects her choice with AJ. She doesn’t want him to go through what she did, to regret letting her turn into another monster. It’ll change him to shoot her, but it’ll also change him to let her turn.... maybe shooting her is the lesser of two evils.

The thing about Clementine is that she’s not a perfect teacher, she doesn’t have all the answers, and all of her experiences reflect in the choices she makes with AJ. She’s trying her best. She loves AJ, he’s her family and she wants what’s best for him. She wants him to be strong, to be a better survivor who can take care of himself if something ever happened to her. But, she’s doesn’t know everything, and she forgets that yeah, AJ’s a kid... and so is she. She’s not some thirty something who has all this world experience and can always make logical decisions in every situation, and neither was Lee.

AJ sees this towards the end of the season when he starts questioning her.

AJ: I always listened to Clem. Always. But...I've been thinking more. I don't know if she's right every time.

So while she truly believes that this is the best thing... she also won’t take AJ himself into account. Well, she does but she fails to ask him what he wants, what he thinks, and when he starts questioning her, she becomes defensive and makes him promise that he’ll shoot her even though he’s saying he doesn’t want to.

Which leads me to two particular scenes that I think reopen the wounds and reaffirm Clementine’s thoughts and fears. We’ll start with the obvious one: James.

I know it’s easy to just call James and his dumb walkers crazy, that walkers aren’t people, yada yada. But for fun, let’s indulge him for a moment. James is a fascinating character study with the way he’s come to view walkers, and he eventually shares these beliefs with Clementine when she asks him for help, and when you leave Lee to turn, you get this conversation:

James: They used them as a weapon. I do this...to protect them. I know it sounds strange. But that's why I brought you here. To see them as I do. As people.

Clementine: As...people?

James: Well, not people, exactly. But... Something in between. Part of us is still in there. Deep down. So few of us die anymore. We turn. Not dead, not alive.

Clementine: God, I hope that's not true. That sounds like Hell.

James: To you, maybe. I think it seems...peaceful.

AJ: Do you really think there's people inside of monsters?

James: Somewhere, yes. Think about it this way... Has someone you cared about turned?

Clementine doesn’t respond.

AJ: Clem's friend, Lee. She let him... but wishes she didn’t.

James: Do you really think...there's nothing left of who he was?

Here’s where my Clementine will remain silent, as you can either agree or disagree with him which doesn’t feel right for her, in this case. Though a little annoying that James takes your silence personally and won’t talk about Charlie later BUT that’s a topic for another ramble.

Anyway, Clementine doesn’t want to think about this. She’s thought about it enough, let it eat away at her longer than she should’ve, and now James is here asking her if she truly believes there’s nothing left inside the walker Lee became? She doesn’t have time to reflect on this, she has to get James’ help to save her friends.

However, I believe this conversation stuck with her, and that’s why she gets more defensive when AJ brings up the idea that if Clem gets bit, then she should bite him, too. Like.... No, absolutely not, AJ. That’s not what we agreed on to do if she gets bit. He’ll shoot her.

Clementine: AJ, we've talked about this. A lot. If I get bit, you know what has to happen.

AJ: I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Clementine: But you brought it up, so we're going to.

AJ: It does something weird to my stomach. Like I'm gonna get the dookies.

Clementine: AJ, I need to know you remember what we talked about. What you're supposed to do if it happens. Listen to me. If I get bit, you'll...?

AJ doesn’t respond.

Clementine: Shoot--

AJ: No! No, I'm not gonna do that.

Clementine: AJ, you promised.

AJ: I don't care. I'm not gonna shoot you! If you get bit, I'd want you to bite me, too.

Clementine: What? You don't mean that.

AJ: I don't want to be alone. Please don't be mad. I can't live with you not with me, Clem. I know we've talked about it. So much. But don't make me.

And like.... here’s an interesting thing if Clementine doubles down on this:

Clementine: Alvin Junior, if you have a gun, you shoot me. If you don't, you use your knife. No knife, a rock to the head. As many times as you have to.

AJ: I said I don't wanna!

Clementine: I don't care what you said. You will do it.

AJ: I don't care what you say!

Clementine: Goddamn it, AJ! You can't break promises.

Like jesus. She is once again so blinded by what she believes is right and what is the best option for AJ that she’s not even thinking about the fact that she’s telling him that yeah, if you have no other options, bash my face in with a rock! Holy shit, Clementine! She isn’t understanding a big thing here, the thing that factored into why Lee told her to leave him.

Of course, there are less harsh responses but I find that one particularly interesting.

Now, lemme explore the other scene: Abel.

So, the beginning of ep3 has Clementine and AJ talking to a tied up Abel about where the raiders took our friends. But it doesn’t take long before Abel starts spitting up blood and panicking that something’s wrong.

Abel: Shit... I never wanted things to end like this. Everything...it all got out of hand. Now look at me. I'm a fucking mess.

AJ: Will he turn?

Abel: No! ...My...my whole life, everything I ever got, I got with my own two hands and...and my will. For my body to turn on me...to take control... I'll tell you where to find Lilly. Just promise you won't let me turn. I'm begging you.

Look, I hate Abel, he sucks..... but I also really like him as an antagonistic character and what they did with him here.

So, we have Abel here begging for them to make sure he doesn’t turn... because Abel believes that letting some turn is cruel, he’ll even admit that he believes there are people inside of walkers and that’s why you put a bullet in them, no one deserves to be a walker.

Abel: You wouldn't do it...you wouldn't let me become...one of those things. What if they...what if they can feel it...when they turn?!

And after he gives you the info-

Abel: You got what you wanted. Please, don't let me become one of those things. Please... I don't want to turn...

Do keep in mind that this happens before the James scene, too. Clementine’s already got this on her mind when she meets up with him and the barn scene plays out.... but this whole thing with Abel is a lot. You can be cruel and torture him or you can play nice, or you can do a bit of both.

And by the way, if you let him turn, it reeeally fucks with AJ. So that’s fun.

Now not only is Clementine trying to work out a plan to get her friends back and trying to protect AJ and all that, but she’s also dealing with these thoughts and ideas presented by Abel and James..... and like, yeah I know the Lee dream sequence was intended for fanservice and to make us cry.... but I dunno, kinda funny timing that she would have a dream about Lee that night after going through both of those events in the same day as well as doing prep to infiltrate the boat.

While I love the dream sequence and this interpretation I’m talking about probably wasn’t all that intentional given that this would've been the perfect moment to explore or even hint at it but they don’t.... but it’s fine, it’s perfectly logical that she’s more worried about her friends who are still alive rather than if she did the right thing with Lee.

I think it’s time I move onto the actual bitten Clementine stuff before this turns into a novel sooo.... Clementine gets bit after she and AJ get separated from Louis/Violet/Tenn. She’s bitten on her wounded leg, and after all the chaos of getting away from walkers and climbing up to safety... Clementine just lies there for a bit.

And you can feel it, y’know? She and AJ knew what happened, but Clementine still has to confirm it... and when she pulls away part of her boot to reveal the bite... she lets out a deep breath and says she got bit..... but they gotta keep moving forward. No time, gotta get up, gotta keep moving, gotta get AJ to safety. Nothing else matters.

So they walk. They walk until it’s morning and Clementine starts to look awful... and I think most of us took this opportunity to tell AJ she loves him.

Then all hell breaks loose, they’re surrounded by walkers and have to hide out in James’ walker barn, but Clementine’s too weak to fight. This is when the game starts to have us take control of AJ, switching us between the two as Clementine shoots walkers and AJ shuts the doors.

Until Clementine runs out of ammo.

The walkers are locked out, they’re catching their breath... and now they have a whole new problem to deal with. Clementine’s bitten, and AJ, similar to how little Clementine was, tells Clementine she needs to try to get up and leave with him.

Clementine: Good job, AJ. You did it.

AJ: Now what?

Clementine: You need to find a way out of here.

AJ: We can climb up there. The monsters can't reach us up there. Let's go. Easy climb. C'mon. Please...try. You can't give up! You can't give up! I need you! I need you...

She can’t get up.

Clementine: I'm so sorry, kiddo. This is just what happens sometimes.

AJ: But...but it wasn't supposed to happen to you!

Sigh.... now here it is. This is another big moment in Clementine’s character that changes everything. It’s that moment at McCarroll Ranch again- it all hits her at once.

Clementine: I need to make sure you remember.

AJ: Remember what?

Clementine: The rules. What's number one?

AJ: Never...never go alone. So...so I can't leave. Not without you.

Clementine: AJ...

AJ: It's your rule!

Clementine: You won't be alone. Not for long. Get back to the school.

AJ: I don't know how.

Clementine: Sure you do. One of the first things I ever taught you. You need to make sure they can't smell you. So... grab that axe.

She’s dying, she’s going to die and leave AJ behind.

Clementine: Next rule: what do we do when the monsters come?

AJ: Clem...

Clementine: AJ...

AJ: Shoot them in the head.

Clementine: Got any more ammo?

AJ: There isn't any more.

Clementine: Okay, then. Fuck. And...the last rule?

AJ: I want to stay. With you. I know what will happen. And...and I don't care. I don't want to go. I just want to sit next to you and...and stay. Like that monster couple, from the train station. No one would hurt us. Just...sitting. Forever.

Clementine: I don't want you to leave, either.

AJ: Then don't make me!

Clementine: But it's not about what I want. It's about what you need. And you need to go.

AJ: Okay, Clem. Okay.

Clementine: Last rule.

AJ: No...

Clementine: What do we do if I get bit? ....Are you gonna make me say it?

And this is Clementine truly realizes, understands for the first time why Lee made the choice he did... why he asked her to leave him.

Clementine: Just leave.

AJ: I can't let you turn into a monster.

Clementine: You have to.

AJ: But before, you said...

Clementine: I know. But now that we're here... My heart is saying something else.

She finally gets it.

When Lee said she’s in his shoes now...? She IS in his shoes finally understanding a part of their situation years ago that she never could. For years, she questioned how he could ask her to leave him, WHY he did. She questioned if she did the right thing, regretted listening to him.... but now that they’re here and she’s presented with the same choice Lee was... she understands why her reasons for asking AJ to shoot her if she gets bitten were skewed, that what she thought was preventively protecting him from more hurt was only doing more damage. He’s already taken a life, and just like Lee said, he’s losing a part of himself every time he does it, and if she told him to shoot Lilly, too? and if he shot Tenn?

What is killing Clementine with an axe going to do to AJ?

What is leaving Clementine to become a walker going to do to him?

What is the right thing to do?

Well, for Clementine, her answer is to ask him to leave. She knows she told him differently, but that was when this scenario was merely a “what if?” Now it’s happening and she sees the errors in her thinking, and no matter what happens now, she’s going to die. Maybe she’ll feel it, like Abel said. Maybe James is right and she’ll spend the rest of her undead life alone in this barn. Maybe nothing will happen. It doesn’t matter.

But... we all know, AJ has another solution up his sleeve that Clementine never considered.

He turns to leave her... and then turns back around and disobeys her wishes... and chops off her bitten leg.

And she fucking survives.

Clementine survives her walker bite.

AJ did what little Clementine back in s1 couldn’t do... he didn’t listen to her, and this time, it worked in their favor.

Clementine: When we were in the barn, you didn't listen to me. And if you had...I'd be dead. You'll have to be strong for the both of us.

AJ: You made it so I can. So...thank you. For everything.

Clementine: You're welcome. For everything.

Clementine still has a lot of things to work though, especially now that she only has one leg. She can’t move around the way she could before, she has to completely relearn how to walk on crutches, possibly a peg leg. She gets to sit down and breathe, rely on others and do some reflection on who she is and come to terms with all the pain she suffered, and grow from there.

Now that she understands why Lee did what he did, she can take a step in the right direction of forgiving herself, to atone for all the mistakes she’s made and the people she’s hurt.

She has a boyfriend/girlfriend/friends there at her side to listen and love her, she has AJ, she has her lovable pupper Rosie, and she has a home... for the first time since she was little, she has a home and she can find herself again. Keep movin’ forward.

This is my favorite line of choices, my favorite way to interpret the connection between Lee and Clementine’s scenes, and how I view Clementine’s growth and understanding as a character in TFS. There are so many ways for it all to play out, no Clementine is the same between players, and I dunno I just... I find the whole thing so compelling.

Clementine is such a fun character to discuss, to compare interpretations of, and I’m sorry for such a long post but this is another thing I’ve wanted to throw out there for a while. Now that I’m done, I’m gonna go make some tea and chill out.

#twdg #twdg clementine #twdg lee #twdg aj #twdg kenny #twdg javi #long post #twdg james #twdg abel

114 notes · View notes

parkerslatte · 3 years

Text

Wish That Were Me [part two]

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings: mentions of cheating

Word Count: 3.8k

Summary: After staying with Y/N for longer than planned, Spencer's overwhelming urge to tell Y/N how he feels is stronger than ever. However as he comes to notice, she may just begin to feel the same.

A/N: There will be a third (and probably final) part. This part ended up being longer than I originally expected and I didn’t want to write the other things I had planned as it would be double it’s length.

Part One // Part Two // Part Three

MASTERLIST

Requests Open

***

Spencer had stayed at Y/N’s for longer than originally planned. He was only meant to stay for the night but two weeks down the line, he was still there. Y/N didn’t mind, in fact she loved that she wasn’t alone. Spencer, however, was getting nervous. Staying with Y/N for two weeks was enough for his love to grow. It all felt so domestic to him. They woke up and ate breakfast together, they went to work together, they ate dinner together. Spencer couldn’t help himself but fall in love with her even more. To him it was selfish. She had just gotten out of a seven year marriage and here he was wishing that he could wake up and spend all his time with Y/N everyday.

Spencer was relaxing on her couch as she walked into the room, and an all too familiar cardigan wrapped around her shoulders.

“Hey, I stole one of your cardigans, it’s a bit cold and all mine are in the wash. You’re okay with it right?”

Spencer looked up at Y/N. The cardigan was too big for her causing the hem to fall down to just above her knees. The colour complimented her skin tone making her look radiant. Spencer’s mouth fell open and closed trying to find the words to say. When he couldn’t find them, he simply nodded. Y/N gave him a smile before slipping down on the couch next to him.

She sat crossed legged on the other end of the couch. Spencer was glad for this since he didn’t want to be in an extremely close proximity to her, at least not at that moment. Clearing his throat, Spencer went back to his book, although he wasn’t reading nearly as fast as before since he was slightly distracted.

Feeling a gaze on him, Spencer diverted his eyes away from the words on the page to Y/N who was looking at him with wide eyes.

“What?” Spencer questioned, repressing a grin.

“Nothing, you just look really concentrated when you read - it’s cute.” Y/N responded before reaching forward and grabbing the television remote from the coffee table.

Spencer felt like his heart was going to burst at that moment. The words Y/N spoke - she had no idea what effect they had on Spencer. A slight red tinge spread across his face, as much as he tried to suppress it. Spencer was embarrassed, he was nearing forty and Y/N made him feel like a teenager. He let out a quiet sigh before returning to his book, now reading at an even slower pace than before.

***

It had now been nearing three weeks since Spencer said he could stay a night at Y/N’s. As much as he loved being around her, he felt like he was intruding. A lot of his clothes were now packed away in drawers in Y/N’s spare bedroom and he stayed at her house even when she wasn’t there. It felt as if he had moved in. Spencer had barely been back to his own apartment, only stopping by to collect clothes.

The rest of the team were beginning to grow suspicious. Everyday the two had arrived together and left together and they rarely left each other's side (which wasn’t as unusual but still drew suspicion nonetheless). Y/N still hadn’t told the rest of the team about James, it wasn’t that she didn’t trust them, she just wasn’t ready. Spencer respected that however he did give her a small push to tell them occasionally.

No one said anything until Spencer was called into Emily’s office one morning.

“What did you need me for?” Spencer questioned, placing both of his hands in his pockets.

“I’m just going to cut right to the chase,” She said, “What’s going on with you and Y/N?”

“What?” Spencer exclaimed, “Nothing is going on with me and Y/N.”

“Reid, you know I trust you but you and Y/N, you’ve been acting strange around each other, you more than usual,” Emily began to explain, “If there’s anything I need to know about, you need to tell me.”

Spencer shook his head, he was annoyed by Emily’s accusations. She never explicitly stated it but she thought him and Y/N were having an affair. Spencer didn’t know if he should have felt insulted or not.

“I’m only helping Y/N with something personal, if she wants to, she’ll tell you in her own time.” Spencer responded before exiting Emily’s office.

On his way out, Y/N tried to stop him as she had noticed his facial expression was completely contrasting the one he wore when he first entered her office. Spencer brushed her off before sitting down at his desk. Y/N headed over to him.

“Hey, you okay?” She questioned, perching herself on the edge of his desk.

“I’m fine.” He responded bluntly.

“Are you sure?” Y/N responded, going to reach for his hand but he simply moved it away, causing her to frown.

“Yeah, it’s just,” Spencer wanted to choose his next words carefully as to not offend Y/N, “I think that I should go back to my apartment.”

Y/N’s face dropped, “Oh.”

Immediately, Spencer felt bad. The smile and happiness was gone from her face, replaced with a look of disappointment. He wanted to reach out and grab her hand but he knew that it would only cause even more rumours to fly around.

“I’m sorry, I just think that I’m intruding, I was only meant to be there one night and it’s been three weeks.” Spencer explained.

“I like having you around, it’s less lonely.” Y/N stated, a hopeful expression on her face.

“I’ll come and collect my things later.” Spencer said, avoiding all eye contact.

“Oh, okay then.” Y/N lingered at his desk for a moment before heading back to her own and started going through files.

Spencer looked at her and he felt as if his heart would break. She looked disappointed and sad. It caused Spencer physical pain to say those words to her. Of course he wanted to stay with her, even if he left like he was intruding, if she wanted him to stay he would've stayed as long as she wanted. With a sigh Spencer got back to his work, stealing glances toward Y/N all day although she never returned them.

***

Two weeks later, the team were called away on a case. Spencer sat as the briefing commenced, however he noticed that the seat always occupied by Y/N was empty. His eyebrows furrowed, Y/N was practically always here, even when she was ill she would come in and Hotch had to force her to go home and rest.

“Where’s Y/N?” Spencer questioned.

“She called in sick this morning.” Emily answered before they started the briefing.

Spencer paid attention although his mind was also occupied with thoughts of Y/N. He knew that she was perfectly fine yesterday and it was possible to contract an illness overnight, but he couldn’t help but think that something was wrong.

Once the briefing ended, everyone got up from the table to collect their go bags. Spencer remained seated.

“You coming?” Luke questioned.

“I think I’ll stay and help from here, if Y/N needs anything I can help her.” Spencer said. It was mainly an excuse to go and see if Y/N was okay - he knew that Penelope could check up on Y/N.

Emily agreed to it without an argument before everyone left, the team to the jet and Spencer to Y/N’s apartment. On his way there, his mind was constantly thinking about Y/N. There was a possibility that she was really ill but a gut feeling in Spencer told him that she wasn’t. He didn’t know how Y/N would react when he showed up at her door. The two hadn’t spoken a lot within the past two weeks, Y/N spent most of her time with either Penelope or Tara. Spencer felt bad about leaving her at her house alone. He never meant to offend her, he just didn’t want rumours to fly around the workplace.

When he finally got to Y/N’s house, he rushed to the front door and knocked on it. Thirty seconds later, Y/N opened the door with a confused look. Spencer’s gut feeling was correct, Y/N in no way looked ill. She looked perfectly healthy.

“What are you doing here Spencer? You should be on the case with the others.” Y/N stepped away from the door allowing Spencer to come inside.

“I just heard that you’re ill so I stayed behind in case you needed anything.” Spencer explained.

“I could’ve asked Penelope.” Y/N replied bluntly, going to sit down on her couch, Spencer trailed behind her.

“I know that but-”

“Why don’t you ask Penelope to book you a flight and go and meet the others on the case?” Y/N cut him off, avoiding all eye contact with Spencer.

“What?” Spencer asked, circling around the couch to sit on it, “No, I’m not going to do that, I can help from here, you’re sick so I’m here to help.”

Spencer knew she wasn’t sick but he wasn’t going to ask bluntly what was wrong with her. She was getting increasingly defensive and blunt.

“I’m clearly not ill Spencer, it’s obvious.” Y/N replied, fiddling with the blanket she had laid over her legs.

“I know that,” Spencer replied softly, “But there is something bothering you.”

Y/N was quiet for a moment. Spencer watched her facial features change as she contemplated telling him or not.

“You know I’m here for you no matter what.” Spencer said, shuffling closer to her on the couch, it was then when he noticed what she was wearing over her shoulders. It was his cardigan. Spencer had been looking for that cardigan ever since he left Y/N’s two weeks ago, it never crossed his mind that Y/N had taken it.

“I know,” She replied, wrapping the cardigan tighter around herself. “I just know that if I say it aloud, it becomes real.”

Spencer moved even closer to her so the side of his body lightly brushed hers. Spencer felt Y/N press herself against him a little more so her arm was firmly pressed against his. Her head fell onto his shoulder. Internally he was freaking out. In all the years the two had known each other, they had never sat like this.

“I saw him kiss another girl, James I mean,” Y/N said, “He looked happier than he ever did with me.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Spencer said, resting his head on top of hers as a form of comfort.

“That’s not all,” Y/N said, “He saw me, and he came over. I don’t know why he did, there was no need for him to. He asked how I was and I said that I was fine, wanting the conversation to be over. It was until the girl he was with introduced himself. I knew that while we were separated James had seen other women, it should have bothered me at the time but it didn’t, I knew that our relationship was too far gone to repair.”

Spencer heard Y/N sniffle. Removing his head from the top of hers, he looked down. Tears began to pool in her eyes. “Y/N, you don’t have to continue if you don’t want to.”

“No, no, I’m going to continue,” Y/N replied, as she took Spencer’s hand in her own, “When the woman introduced herself, I wasn’t really paying attention, I just wanted to get out of there as quickly as I could. What I did pay attention to was when she said they were celebrating their one year anniversary. He was cheating on me six months before we even split up. I should have seen the signs, I’m a fucking profiler.”

Spencer pulled Y/N against his body as she cried. He cradled the back of her head with one hand while the other rubbed up and down her back. Y/N’s arms wrapped around his torso and her head buried itself into his chest.

The two sat there until Spencer’s phone rang, knowing that it was most likely Emily, he took the call, still holding onto Y/N. Spencer wanted to get off the call as quickly as possible so he could go back to comforting Y/N, who’s cries were muffled by his chest.

“And Reid, how’s Y/N?” Emily questioned.

Spencer looked down at Y/N, who by now looked exhausted, “She’s fine, she just needs some rest.”

Spencer bid goodbye to Emily before all his attention was returned to Y/N. Her cries were now resorted to small sniffles, her eyes were red and puffy from crying and her face was flushed red. But to Spencer, she still looked like the most beautiful woman in the world.

“You should get some rest.” Spencer said quietly.

“I don’t want to.” Y/N mumbled.

“Y/N, you should, at least a couple hours.” Spencer said, brushing a piece of hair that had fallen into her face, once he realised what he did, he quickly retracted his hand.

“Okay,” Y/N sighed, “But can you stay with me?”

“Always.” Spencer replied.

Spencer, expecting Y/N to head back to her room, was surprised when she gently pushed him back on the couch. She situated herself so her head was rested on his chest and the rest of her body was pressed up against him. Spencer felt his heart beating out of his chest. Her breath fanned his neck slightly, causing his face to heat up. At this point he was glad that her eyes were closed. He wrapped one arm around her waist to stop her from falling off the couch and pulled her closer to him.

Spencer waited until he knew that Y/N was asleep before looking down at her face. In her sleep she looked peaceful, the worry lines on her face were non-existent and a small smile was present on her face. He moved his head forward slightly, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, letting it linger there for a moment.

Never had Spencer ever thought that he would be in this position with Y/N. To him, he always thought the closest he would ever get to her would be a hug. Now he could feel her entire body pressed against him. Her hand that rested on his chest burned the skin through his clothes. To him, everything about Y/N was perfect, even the things that were deemed as imperfections were perfect in his eyes.

Before Spencer drifted off into an unconscious state, he muttered three simple words but Spencer meant all three of them, “I love you.”

***

A couple of hours later, Spencer awoke to his phone ringing again. Opening his eyes slowly, letting them adjust to the brightness,he grabbed his phone. Y/N stirred on his chest.

“Shhh,” Spencer muttered, “Go back to sleep.”

He answered the phone and offered as much information as he could before hanging up again. Y/N was now fully awake on his chest, however she had no intention to move. Spencer rubbed up and down her spine gently, not even realising he was doing it.

“Are you okay?” He muttered against her hair.

“No, but I will be,” Y/N answered, “I just feel stupid. I’m a profiler and I didn’t see the signs.”

“Hey, you’re not stupid okay? Don’t ever say that about yourself.” Spencer said.

“I just...am I really that unloveable? He was cheating on me for six months. I’m thirty-four and I thought I found the person I would spend the rest of my life with and he found someone new a year ago.”

Spencer gently pressed Y/N closer to his body. He couldn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth. She wasn’t unloveable, she was far from that. For as long as Spencer knew Y/N, he had loved her and he was still in love with her.

“That’s not true,” Spencer said, “That is far from true, Y/N. You are the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. You’re strong, kind and selfless. You are loved, I love you,” Spencer said, there was a small pause, “The whole team loves you.”

Spencer looked down to notice Y/N looking up at him with a small smile on her face. However he also noticed how close their faces were, more specifically their lips. There was only a couple of centimeters between them and it took a lot for his gaze not to drop down to her lips.

“Thank you Spencer, I love all of you as well,” Y/N spoke, “You’ve all been there for me no matter what. You even stayed with me for three weeks, I love each and every one of you individually,” Y/N paused for a moment to lean up and pressed a small kiss to Spencer’s cheek, “And I’d like to thank you for that.”

“You shouldn’t thank me, you shouldn’t thank anyone, I’m always going to be there for you Y/N, no matter what.” Spencer said, his hand played with the ends of her hair.

“I think I’m ready to tell the team about what happened between me and James, they deserve to know.” Y/N said.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I’m sure.”

Y/N got up from the couch and stretched out. Spencer remained laying down on the couch as he watched her walk away. She still had no idea how much Spencer really loved her.

***

When the team returned from the case a few days later, Y/N waited with Spencer and Penelope in the bullpen to greet all of them. Penelope was confused as to why Y/N had returned to work after having an illness but Y/N only told her to wait until the team arrived. Spencer stood by Y/N’s side as the rest of the team filtered through the doors. They greeted them one by one.

“Y/N? You weren’t meant to be back yet.” Emily said.

“I know but I need to tell you all something, it’s something I should have told you months ago,” Y/N said before taking a deep breath, “James and I split up six months ago.”

“What? Why?” Penelope asked.

“We just fell out of love, I was here everyday all day and was away for a lot of the time, we didn’t get to see each other much,” Y/N explained, keeping her composure, “The vacation we took was to try and repair our relationship but it didn’t work. The divorce papers came through three weeks ago.”

“Is that why you requested a sick day?” Emily asked.

“No,” Y/N stated, “The day I phoned you and told you I was sick I bumped into James and his new girlfriend who were celebrating their one year anniversary.”

“Y/N…” Luke said, his eyes filled with sympathy.

“I’m okay, I promise,” She said, “But there’s one thing that I need you all to do for me.”

“Of course, anything.” JJ said.

“Just tell me you love me, I just need to know that I feel loved.” Y/N stated.

One by one, each team member said I love you to Y/N and hugged her tight, of course when they said it they meant it in a friendly manner. Once it came to Spencer however, it was more than friendly. He had already said it a couple nights previous but Spencer knew that she needed to hear it from him again.

Spencer looked into Y/N’s eyes and moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around him, burying his face in the crook of her neck, “I love you.”

Everyone standing around the two hugging knew that Spencer meant it in more than just a friendly way - everyone but Y/N. The hug lasted for longer than it should’ve, surprisingly Spencer was the first to pull away.

“We’re here for you Y/N, anything you need, don’t be afraid to call us.” Tara said.

“Yeah, and Kristy and the kids are dying to see you again.” Matt added.

“I know what this calls for!” Penelope exclaimed, “A party at Rossi’s. It can help Y/N get her mind off that scumbag James and it gives everyone a chance to see each other again.”

Everyone looked toward Rossi as he nodded his head in agreement. Penelope threw her arm around Y/N as she let out a cheer. Spencer watched as a wide smile spread across Y/N’s face. It caused one to spread across his own.

“Spencer, can I talk to you for a moment?” Emily questioned.

“Of course.” Spencer responded as the two stepped away from everyone else.

“Was James the reason why you two were acting the way you were? Arriving together and leaving together?” Emily questioned.

Spencer nodded, “I was staying at hers for a few weeks, after we went out that night and we left early, she told me everything. I was only meant to stay one night but she didn’t want to be lonely.”

Spencer’s gaze drifted towards Y/N who was laughing and joking with everyone. It was the happiest he had seen her in a long time.

“You still love her don’t you?” Emily questioned.

“Sorry?” Spencer responded.

“You love her,” Emily said again, “The way you look at her, Reid. You don’t look at anyone else that way.”

Spencer looked down at his feet, “I do love her, I always have. I thought that these feelings would eventually disappear but it’s been years and these past few weeks have only strengthened that feeling.”

“You should tell her.” Emily stated.

“What? No,” Spencer said, “I’m not risking the friendship we have over that.”

“Reid, she deserves to know.” Emily said.

“She doesn’t need to.” Spencer shook his head and wandered back to the group.

Once he made an appearance, Y/N put one of her arms around his torso, pulling him into a hug, “I wondered when you were going to come back.”

Spencer gave her a smile before looking up and making eye contact with Emily. He didn’t need to tell Y/N his feelings. It wasn’t worth risking his friendship for. However, every minute he spent with Y/N, especially recently, he could feel himself fall deeper in love with her (if it were even possible). Like now for instance, with her arm slung around his torso, Spencer could only pay attention to her and only her. Maybe it was time for him to tell her how he really felt.

SPENCER REID TAGLIST

@spenxerslut @averyhotchner @drayshadow @reidemandweep @moviequeen51 @spencer-reid-am-i-right @ssavanessa22 @amurderofcrowsinatrenchcoat @mbjackie @jklemps @reformedmoneyshovel @nomajdetective @jesuisbenny @jooniehomie @spencerreid-187 @onyourfingertips @uhuhuh

- strike through could not be tagged -

- add yourself to my taglist HERE or message me to be added or removed :) -

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagine #matthew gray gubler

165 notes · View notes

crybabyddl · 4 years

Text

I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO REITERATE SOMETHING

Yes, let’s circle back to the beautiful performance of Edge of Great. More specifically the BODY LANGUAGE, particularly Julie and Luke’s, which I will be analyzing with gifs.

Exhibit A

Jealous Luke looks over at Julie and Reggie vibing

Julie is aware that she’s avoiding Luke, which she is doing so bc she realized her feelings for him thanks to Flynn earlier in the episode.

Since Julie has put the task of ignoring Luke upon herself even though she has no obligation to, she ends up failing her own mission. She sees Luke’s reaction to the lack of her attention.

She literally FREEZES. She’s emotionally worried to confront what she’s feeling and it’s beginning to manifest physically.

Exhibit B

It gets better y’all. After Luke finally has even a crumb of Julie’s attention, he beckons her over with his signature head tilt. This is important bc he did this with his longtime bandmate during the soundcheck of what would’ve been their biggest performance. If he feels comfortable enough using that body language with a girl he’s only known for, what, a week and a half(?) then you know this puppy boy’s got it BAD.

Julie is well aware that Luke is getting jealous. But in classic Julie fashion, she will try to tune it out instead of addressing it. Our wicked beauty doesn’t like confrontation and would rather just deny and avoid than potentially make things awkward, especially when she knows Luke would ask her about it at a later time.

The look on Julie’s face. Her eyes widen and the classic tight-lipped awkward smile is present. She’s literally saying “ok enough of that let’s get back to work doo doo doo” with her face. The way her body SWINGS back into performance mode as she faces the audience again. It may have been a split second, but when you’re deliberately trying to avoid looking into the dreamy (dead) eyes of someone you shouldn’t be crushing on, any amount of time feels too long. Plus, she knows Flynn is watching and doesn’t want her to lecture her (but she does anyway bc Flynn is observant and knows her bestie too well to let any action slip past her).

Exhibit C

Keep in mind; NONE OF THE GUYS KNOW WHY JULIE IS AVOIDING LUKE. Flynn, Alex, and Reggie have noticed the Juke chemistry, but it’s still too soon for them to get past the “we like each other but we’re too clueless to notice that we reciprocate” phase, so even though their respective besties know, they are still denying. Besides, Reg, Alex, and Flynn know better than to keep pestering if they want to keep their kneecaps. In reality they’re both smart enough to tell by this point, but for the sake of the plot and to make everything more adorably frustrating, Flynn has the collective brain cell under lock and key, leaving Juke to be like *dog tilting its head and making that “a-roo?” noise*

Anyway, Reggie notices Luke being snubbed after realizing that his extra dose of Julie time was slightly out of the ordinary. Luke is clearly concerned (look at his eyebrows and how his eyes travel from Reggie, to Julie, then to the audience to trying and get his mind off it and bring his focus back to the main goal; the performance.) If he can’t have the moment of connection with Julie that he so desperately craves, he’s gonna fill that void as best he can by connecting with the audience. >:’)

But Reggie’s trying to help Luke brush it off by conveying his reaction as ‘look at julie coming into her own! i told you she was a star! and you thought you were the lead singer? think again buddy this girl’s got you beat!’

But since Reggie isnt a master at hiding his feelings yet, especially around Luke, —who was able to get under his skin earlier (“girls, am i right?”)—Luke was easily able to see through that and interpreted what Reggie was saying as “look at julie go, she all in the zone. you’re literally making heart eyes at her get a grip you’re slacking lmao” (hence luke’s right eyebrow quirking at reggie like ‘dude seriously gimme a break u know i need attention like tinkerbell’) even though Reggie’s true message was a bit less harsh and more lovingly teasing, but it’s Luke, he sees things through his eyes and at his intensity, regardless of who it’s coming from. (This is one of the reasons why Luke comes off as selfish at times.)

Exhibit D

Poor Lukey boi can’t seem to catch a break today! Not only does Julie ignore him, then has a cute lil (platonic but it’s luke so it still makes him jealous >:P) moment, but now she has the AUDACITY to interact with Alex? The guy who was out learning Ghost 101 with this Willie guy instead of rehearsing with the band? What gives?! What’s he got that your moody ghost bf doesn’t? >:’(

He literally just watches, and even glances back in a way that, to me, screams ‘did i see that right? did i just see what i just saw with my own dreamy (but dead) eyes? say sike rn.’ \_(*_*)_/

Meanwhile, Alex pays no mind. I like to think that Alex is fully aware that Luke is an angry boy rn, but has learned to ignore it, especially this bc literally NOTHING happened. Either that or Alex has no clue and just truly thinks nothing of it and is having too much fun to think about Luke’s moody and childish behavior. Either way, Alex is just straight chilling and we love to see it *^_^*

Notice how Reggie is right there vibing with Julie and Alex. Luke feels a bit betrayed like ‘not you too! i know you were the first to turn on me but i figured since you’re such a golden retriever you’d be loyal and come back to my side!😠🥲’

Also; Luke approaches the rest of the group, wanting to be included in at least SOME of the vibing, but when Julie starts dancing and smiling with her buddy Alex, he backs up like

“you know what? nope. nevermind. not doin’ it.”

and the group’s like “i mean hey it’s your loss, but luke we want you to-”

“no, bc you chose to piss me off right in front of my face so no luke time for any of you! no cuddles, no hugs, no nothing! you made your bed, now lie in it and perish.”

Exhibit E & F: This is where it gets a bit interesting and theorized hehe...

Now we all know that this moment is just fucking ICONIC

WEOWH NEOW NEOW!!! WEOW NEHR NEHR NER-NER-NER NEHR NEHR NEOWHR!!! (wer nehr-nehr-ner-ner-nehr-nehr!!) WUEHNER-NEUHNER-NEHR-NEEOW-NEOWH! DLOOLOODDUH-DOODLAH-HOOBLUEH-NEOWHR-NEUEHR-NEEEEEEUOWRH!!!!

But hear me out– HEAR ME OUT!

What if... now don’t shoot the messenger who just so happens to also be the theorist... but what if...

WHAT IF!!! Luke didn’t!! plan this?!!!

Listen i know you’re probably thinking:

“Well uh Nicole, isn’t that kinda the whole point? It literally wasn’t planned until Charlie realized Madi was gonna be standing on the piano so he suggested the idea for the guitar solo to Kenny.”

And you’re right! But here’s the kicker:

What if Luke THE CHARACTER, just decided to do this as an “Alright that’s it! You wanna be like that? Well what if I just hit you with my super awesome radical totally cool wowza guitar skills & make a moment between us? Huh? What do you think about that? Hmm? HMMM???!!!”

He licks his lips & that to me read** like he was nervous (**read rhyming with bed just to clarify) so that means it could’ve been a spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment thing.

In the second gif, you can see that Julie’s head is tilted, as if she’s a bit confused, but she’s also delightfully surprised.

Julie is quick to smile and scrunch her nose at Luke, something she does often. It tells Luke his impulsive action garnered a positive response from his favorite girl. Julie also starts to shake her head, but doesn’t go through the motion in full, which means she’s still a bit nervous to let her guard down. This is probably because she doesn’t know what he’s thinking or what he will do next. The lopsided smile mixed with the suave, gliding steps towards her probably brought her back to her daydream lol.

Luke’s happy bc Julie’s no longer ignoring him. He smiles like a GOOBER bc this chump is simping HARD for our Julie. So cute! :’)

Exhibit G

And hear me when I offer this:

What if Luke poofed the guys out???

I know, I know. It’s a bold claim to make. But the boys are special, considering they are a threat to Caleb (3 gay-variant himbos vs. a gay magician that could’ve been on broadway but decided to make some sort of deal with a devil so he just entertains capitalists who most likely sold their souls to get into the hgc which i will probably elaborate on in a future theory so dont do that bc im gonna lmao idc we all have big brains) So it’s not too crazy to think that they could share some ghost powers.

We know Caleb transported the guys during You Got Nothing to Lose. And the guys have left a place at the exact same time on more than one occasion.

And you may be thinking “well what if the guys poofed out to give juke a moment alone together?” And to that I say...

Look at Reggie. He isn’t looking back at Alex like “dude let’s give them some space.”

The timing of him turning around, at least to me, makes me think Reggie was surprised by Luke approaching the piano. (But also he lowkey was waiting for Luke to prove him wrong by doing something to get Julie’s attention so Reggie isn’t mad. Neither is Alex but he doesn’t like being told how or WHEN to ghost) Luke doesn’t even give his bandmates a warning eyebrow quirk, a hand signal, nothing. Reggie turns to Alex like ‘dude what is he DOING?’ And before he can even really convey that, they go *POOF*

This man had a plan and he was gonna do it, so he did. Whether it’s the power of love, they stopped performing, or Reggie and Alex actually poofed out, the odds worked in Luke’s favor so he and Julie could have a super special moment, a moment special enough to make an actual living person (Nick) wonder if a “hologram” has a better chance at connecting with Julie than he does.

Again, regardless of who made them poof or how they poofed, they mf poofed so Luke’s a happy hamster. (Idk it just sounded fitting instead of happy camper lol wait what if someone had 3 pet hamsters and named them alex reggie and luke🥺 someone buy some hamsters and let me be their godmother or their aunt and i’ll love them from afar.) Anyway, Luke’s thriving, flourishing, his crops are going to grow in time for the harvest.

You can see Julie lean back as she turns to see Luke. It��s... almost as if... She. Wasn’t. Expecting. Him. To. Be. There..??

Honey badger Luke bc he DGAF <|:) Bitch, it’s Luke mf Patterson and he’s gonna,, GET! IN! YOUR! FAAAACE!!!

You CANNOT tell me he’s not doing the absolute MOST to try and seduce Miss Juliana Mariposa Rose Molina.

Yes I’m making a headcanon that Julie has TWO middle names and that one of them is the spanish word for butterfly and that the other is her mother’s name. Also yes, I believe (i believe that we’re just one dream away from who we’re– oh, that’s not what we’re doing? okay, sorry!) that Juliana is Julie’s full name.

In this house we love and respect Juliana Mariposa (Dahlia)** Rose Molina

**I’m just putting Dahlia there for fun bc I can. :) Whether I’d consider it a possible middle name of hers depends. Anyway I just thought it was a cute thing to add bc it goes along with the other middle names I gave her *^_^* Also, I feel like I made a post giving a bunch of the characters middle names lemme see if I can find it later)

Ok i’m done this took me basically all day from like 10am until 4:08. I obviously took breaks in between, but not long ones...😶

437 notes · View notes

drea-bear-forever · 3 years

Text

My thoughts after watching Chapter 5 of The Book of Boba Fett pt 1??? maybe??

————————————

Why do i have the feeling Din will kidnap grogu from luke 😪😪 😭 I feel like him being apart from Grogu made him realize he never wanted to let him go.

Especially after him looking at the grogu sized seat 😭😭 all he can think about is his tiny toddler son

Just look at the material 😩🥺 Everything reminds him of grogu. And when did he find out grogu and luke’s location?? Because when luke left at the end of chapter 16 he didnt give din his contact info 🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️.

Din really now accepts he is the owner (for now 🤞🏾 (hopefully forever)) of the darksaber. I like how he wants to use it, fight with it, and own it now verses in chapter 16 when he didnt even care about owning it. He wanted to give it to bo and just leave with grogu. I want to know what made him just accept its his. Maybe he knows he’s the Manda’lore now?

Just Look at the material 😩😩😩 Hopefully he does eventually learn how to use it to its fullest potential. Maybe when he visits (or steals) grogu, luke teaches him how to use it. Or maybe a grogu who’s had some training can teach him. Because lord know how fast grogu learns how to use a light saber or how to use the force more easily by luke teaching him.

Grogu might even learn that he cant just use it for selfish ways (or not knowing grogu). But i do think that even though he is just a toddler, him and yoda arent similar. Like i really don’t genuinely see grogu as a jedi. He was having a fun time with din traveling all around the galaxy, maybe thats what he wants to do. Then someone might be like “well if thats what grogu wanted to do why did luke say he wanted to ask for dins permission to leave”, because he is just a kid and hearing your father tell you multiple times that you have to go with you own kind (jedi), he might think thats what din wants so he goes with luke.

The armorer a hater fr 🙄🙄 Like i love her bad ass fighting style. But why she ask them that 😭😭. She probably wanted paz to win or something 😪. I cant wait till to see her and bo come face to face to each other. Imagine the beef 😭.

Omg and a BD droid!!! (If you dont know we first saw a bd droid (bd-1) in Jedi fallen order! Cal Kestice owns a bd droid.) Him and mando had a moment it reminded me of when din was tying to get grogu to understand how to fix the ship 😭😭😭 Maybe din keeps the BD droid, I hope so. I would live to see grogu have someone to play with. He and winta were good friends till they had to leave 😩😩.

#star wars #the mandalorian #disney plus #disney+#boba fett #din djarin #grogu #mando #the book of boba fett #tbobf #BD-1 #jedi fallen order #the armorer #bo katan kryze

37 notes · View notes

imagine-loki · 3 years

Text

What bout Trust, Chapter 15

TITLE: What About Trust CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 15 AUTHOR: fanficshiddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki owns a bookshop on Midgard. He had to do something there to try and avoid getting any attention. But he’s not fond of having customers, is rather grumpy and guarded. But then he meets a bright, bubbly and trusting young woman who doesn’t recognise him. To his dismay, he finds himself becoming rather fond of the mortal. RATING: M

So many thoughts ran through Cleo’s mind after discovering the truth about Loki.

She had spent most of the evening looking through footage of him from when he had tried to take over Earth. And she’d watched the video of him saving everyone at the park lots too. She couldn’t believe she had never recognised him in the first place. And suddenly a lot of things made a bit more sense.

Her friend, Ethan, was over and trying to console her.

She was so angry, upset, disappointed. Everything moulded into one.

‘He certainly seems like he’s not a villain anymore, but can anyone truly change quite like that?’ Ethan muttered.

‘It’s not… It’s not about what he did in the past. It’s the fact he lied to me. He didn’t tell me who he really was.’ She sighed and tried not to get choked up for the millionth time.

‘I’ve never seen you so upset before, Cleo. I know you love him, why not go speak to him and see what he has to say? Think about it, if you were in his position and did what he did… and you were wanting a new start, maybe you’d lie about your name, too?’

Cleo put her elbows on the table and her head in her hands with a sigh. She couldn’t help it, she started crying again. Her emotions were all over the place.

Ethan moved over and hugged her. ‘Hey, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok.’ He soothed her and rubbed her back softly.

Thor had nipped out to get some food in for himself and Loki. Well, himself mainly since Loki said he didn’t feel like eating.

‘Loki, there’s someone who was outside that wants to speak to you.’ Thor said and stepped to the side when he entered Loki’s place.

Loki frowned, it was Ethan. Loki had met him once or twice before at some of their friends’ gigs with Cleo.

‘Look, I don’t know what exactly you’ve told Cleo about yourself. How much of it has been true, what hasn’t. But right now, you need to go and speak to her. Go clear things up. She at least deserves an explanation.’ Ethan said to Loki.

‘She’s scared of me. She won’t want anything to do with me.’ Loki said sadly and turned away from him.

Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Look, I know you’re a God and a Prince. But for the past few months, you’ve just been ordinary Luke to me. So I’m going to carry on seeing you that way. Now you get your ass over to Cleo’s and you damn well give her an explanation as to why you’ve lied to her. Or you will lose her, for good. And she is NOT scared of you, far from it. She’s pissed off and so upset, rightfully so.’ Ethan snapped at him.

Loki was irked at first, how dare a mortal tell him off like that. But when Loki turned around to glare at Ethan, his face softened. He realised he was right.

He ran a hand down his face and sighed. ‘You think talking to her will help?’

‘Well it won’t make anything worse! She deserves a proper explanation. I know she wanted to be left alone, but she’s had time now. Go and explain to her.’ Ethan said firmly and pointed at the door.

Loki narrowed his eyes at him as he grabbed his jacket and headed for the door.

Ethan felt proud that he had managed to tell Loki off like that. But when Loki left, he let out a big sigh of relief. Thor chuckled at the mortal who was shaking slightly as he leaned against the back of the sofa for support.

‘Geez, that was scary.’ Ethan said as he put his hand over his chest.

‘You did well.’ Thor laughed and went over to pat him on the shoulder. ‘Sometimes that is what Loki needs. I just hope they can talk it out, I have never seen my brother so broken and upset before. He really loves and cares for her, he was just scared she would turn him away for who he was. For what he did.’

Ethan nodded. ‘I understand. But Cleo is the last person on Earth to judge someone in that way. Hell, I remember when the New York incident happened, one of our friends was mouthing off about what an asshole Loki was. Cleo piped up that there is always two sides to a story, and everyone deserves a second chance. That the Avengers aren’t all that good either… No offence.’

Thor smiled softly. ‘None taken. I know what she means, we all have our darker sides. I certainly hope she still thinks the same way.’

Loki teleported instantly to Cleo’s home, he was about just walk inside but thought better of it. He knocked on the door cautiously, his heart was hammering against his chest as he waited. But he was relieved when she finally answered.

But his heart shattered into millions of pieces when he saw her. The usual sparkle and brightness was gone from her eyes, in just five hours he had managed to tear her up so badly. He had never felt so guilty and broken in his entire life.

‘Cleo… I’m so, so sorry.’ He began, a tear fell down his face as he was unable to stop himself. ‘Please, can I come in and talk?’ He begged, she could hear the desperation in his voice.

Cleo closed her eyes for a moment, to try and stop herself from crying. She nodded and stepped to the side, letting him in. Saying nothing yet.

Loki walked into her home and he went to the living room. He wasn’t sure whether to sit down or stay standing, but he opted to stand. As Cleo stayed standing with her arms around herself.

He took in a deep breath. ‘I know that what I did in New York and Germany was awful, I regret it every single day. It’s not something I am proud of, at all. But I would never hurt you, I would never’

‘Luke… I mean, Loki… I… I know you wouldn’t hurt me. It’s not what you did before that’s upsetting me. Or who you really are. It’s that you lied to me. You didn’t tell me the truth.’

‘I… I couldn’t. When I first met you, I went to my usual lie that my name is Luke. I’ve used that for a long time, since I decided to start a life here. I hoped for a quiet life, where I could just be in peace, without any hassle from SHIELD or people who knew what I did and wanted me dead. But then, I started to fall in love with you. I have never felt the way I do about you before, Cleo.’ Loki sat down now and clasped his hands together on front of him, trying to keep it together.

Cleo sat down too on the opposite sofa.

‘I wanted to tell you… I so badly wanted to. But every time I bottled it. I’m a coward, and I hate myself for it. I was scared and worried that I would ruin what we had… But I knew I had to tell you, I was going to, but then the tree fell and’

‘How am I supposed to believe you now? I want to, Loki, I really do. But I’m struggling. Everything I thought I knew about you, is a lie.’ Cleo interrupted.

‘No, no... Everything I’ve told you about myself, is true. Just minus where I come from and my name.’

‘And that Thor is your brother!’ Cleo yelled at him. ‘That you’re a God. A Prince. And your parents?’

‘I said my brother was an idiot and annoying, that’s not a lie. And my parents are deceased, and I was adopted. It’s just a little bit more complicated than I told you.’

Cleo shook her head and tears started running down her face again. ‘I just wish you’d told me sooner. What hurts the most, is that you felt you couldn’t tell me the truth sooner. After our first date, or even after we first slept together would’ve been better. But you didn’t, for so long.’

‘I know, and I was a fool. I am a fool. But I was scared, Cleo. So scared of losing you, the only person in my life that has ever mattered to me so much. I love you, Cleo. So, so much. I didn’t want to lose… I don’t want to lose you.’ Loki cried.

‘I don’t want that either… And I do love you, too. But I just, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me sooner. I don’t know what to do, Loki. I do understand why you didn’t want me to know initially, but keeping it for so long is what is hurting me the most.’

Loki momentarily put his head in his hands before looking back up at her. ‘The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you, darling. Please believe me. I was scared and selfish, I can’t take that back. As much as I want to. I’ve hurt you, I know. I want to make it right, to earn your love again.’

‘What about trust, Loki?’

He felt his stomach dropping.

‘Please, Cleo. Give me one more chance, I promise you there will be no more lies. Ever. And you can trust me, always.’ He pleaded.

‘I… I don’t know if I can. I do love you, I do. But I, I don’t know if I can trust you again. Love is nothing without it. And I feel like I trusted you completely, with anything and everything.’

‘Don’t say that, Cleo. Please, I’m begging you to just let me try again. Let me work on gaining your trust again. Please.’ Loki actually got onto his knees on front of her and begged her with his hands clasped on front of him.

Cleo’s eyes widened at the sight of him doing so. She saw what he did years ago in Germany… Had everyone kneel for him. She knew that kneeling for a human was not something he would do lightly.

But it still didn’t make it any easier.

‘I… I’m going to need time, Loki. Please.’ She whispered, wiping her eyes and looking to the side.

Loki nodded and slowly got up to his feet. ‘I understand. Take as much time as you need… But I do truly love you, Cleo. You’re my world.’

Cleo looked down at her hands in her lap, unable to stop crying as Loki reluctantly left her home.

When Loki left, he went down the nearest alleyway and he screamed, cried, hit the wall. He couldn’t believe what he did to her. To his Cleo.

He wished he could turn back time and start over, to tell her the truth from the start.

He couldn’t cope with the thought of not having her in his life.

#Loki #Lover #Submitted fic #what about trust #chapter 15 #fanficshiddles

39 notes · View notes

writerbuddha · 3 years

Note

Thank you for such a thoughtful response about Padme, I'd never thought about it like that. Thank you for expanding my perspective! As a follow up, if you feel like it, do you have any thoughts on why Anakin wasn't willing to let go of those emotions until Luke? I see how Padme and Luke approached him similarly, but how come Luke was successful where Padme wasn't?

Your very welcome! I thank you, I am glad you found my response useful! Your question is interesting. In sort, it's because Anakin/Vader viewed Padmé differently than he viewed Luke, they had somewhat different relationship.

Padmé was ancillary to Anakin's happiness, so when he had a premonition about her death, he become so scared of losing her and so angry at any real and assumed threat to his happiness that he lost himself. He was unable to listen to Padmé, who said, "come away with me" and "all I need is your love" because he was way too scared of losing her. All his actions were flowing from this.

For Padmé, it was no longer possible to reach him because whenever he looked at her, he saw his actions justified and his fear of losing her grew even stronger. It was this fear what was ignited with anger when he assaulted her, realizing that she will leave him and go with Obi-Wan (not as his lover, of course, but still, she said she cannot stay with Anakin if he continues down on this path). And that was the reason why he hatefully attacked Obi-Wan, too. Moreover, he realized that if he can defeat death itself, he can also reshape the galaxy as Emperor (he hinted in Attack of the Clones that he believes, if someone takes control, they can create a better world, but that's no longer democracy and freedom).

Anakin's actions as Darth Vader were flowing entirely from his unbearable pain of loss, what, just like fear of loss, branched into anger and hate. He wanted revenge on the universe for losing Padmé and his child(ren) and he "loved" the Emperor because he was the only one he had. He was bitter, angry, hateful, broken, miserable, lonely. So with Luke, it was a different situation. Vader was still focused on his own happiness: he wanted to have Luke by his side, he was afraid of not having him, not losing him. He wanted to rule the galaxy with him as father and son. But there is a fundamental difference. When Padmé said, "come away with me" Anakin thought if he does, he will lose Padmé and he was too scared to risk it. But when Luke said, "come with me", he was facing with the fact that Luke offered him another option: "you don't have to make me a monster to love you or to be with you. You can be with me." So for a moment, he stopped being afraid of not having. He was baffled, that despite all what he had done, killing thousands of innocent people, torturing Luke's friends (and sister, his own child) cutting Luke's hand off, doing all those horrible things, Luke didn't hate him, he wanted him to be happy, he didn't want to hurt him, he didn't want him to suffer. He offered him forgiveness. And promised family.

His selfish side struggled against it, but Luke woke his selfless side up - he wanted Luke to be happy, to be free from suffering. And that's true love, which is genuine compassion.

(Don't confuse the fear of you losing with being concerned, being afraid for the happiness and wellbeing of someone. That's what George Lucas, in accordance with Buddhist philosophy he follows and combines with Methodism, calls compassion, genuine love, manifesting in active engagement and commitment to make others happy and free from suffering. It's saying, "I love you, so I want you to be happy and free from suffering. My love for you and your happiness gives me unspeakable joy the feeling of being complete." Whereas attachment connotes grasping, clinging, holding on. Attachment is saying "You make me happy, for this, I love you, you complete me, I want to be happy, make me happy." And when you attached to something, you become afraid of losing it. )

#darth vader #anakin skywalker #prequel trilogy #original trilogy #luke skywalker #padmé amidala #return of the jedi #revenge of the sith

84 notes · View notes

sunjaesol · 4 years

Text

we’re dancing under the rain

canon compliant juke | fluff! | inspiration: rain // ben platt

Julie wondered if one day, she could stop loving. Because damn - it hurt. It hurt to love so much and continuously have her heart be broken. Love and heartache cycled through her life like a never ending train and the girl was in a constant battle of wanting to shut down or give it another chance.

She always chose the latter, obviously, but that hurt too. The price she needed to pay to have such meaningful friendships. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have become a family with a trio of ghosts and an adjacent skater ghost. The problem of caring so much was when the heart got involved, when that heart beat a second too fast, too willingly, too adoringly.

It made her vulnerable, her heart jumping out of her chest to sync with the other person and then getting crushed instead. This time, it cut her particulary deep.

Nick broke up with her.

A puffy-eyed Julie sat huddled in the studio under a blanket. He did it during lunch. All of a sudden, he pulled her aside into the hallway, told her they didn’t quite fit together and that it was better if they broke up. He pretended like she had a say in it, though it was clear he already made up his mind. Which was even worse, Julie found. Nick had thought about it before, probably more than once. His words made her feel like a fool. There she was, thinking their relationship was going smooth, getting squashed a minute after that: no, actually, it’s not going smoothly and you’re probably in denial so let’s end it now.

Later, she’d probably thank him for ripping the band-aid. She was now allowed to be heartbroken.

Outside, rain was slamming against the pavement. That was the only good thing about the situation; the weather deciding to match her mood and mourn with her.

Luke poofed in with his signature grin, lips shaping to blurt out a story and then crashing into a frown when he saw the state she was in.

“Jules?”

Wordlessly, she covered her tear-stained cheeks with the blanket. She hated it when people - especially Luke - caught her at her lowest. The boys were dead, she couldn't really complain about minor inconveniences when the only reason they were breathing was out of habit.

The couch dipped at her feet. A careful hand patted her calf. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she mumbled.

“Yes, cause that’s what I do when nothing’s wrong.” His voice was light, though a keen ear like hers could sense the hint of concern. “I cry.”

Julie huffed, pulling the blanket back to scowl at him. “Nick broke up with me. But it’s whatever because it clearly wasn’t as big of a deal to him as it was to me, so-” Shrugging, she sat upright and wiped her runny nose with the sleeve of her sweater. “It is nothing.”

Her fingers combed through her hair, trying to relieve the heat bugging her skin. God, she just wanted this day to be over with. She didn’t want to rehearse and do homework and eat dinner and pretend everything was dandy. She just wanted to cry and sleep and not have Luke’s stupidly green eyes drown in pity.

“That sucks though,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

Her lips rolled inwards, a smile forming despite her mood. “Not your fault.” Their gazes met. It felt new, somehow. “My heart is just… too open, I guess.”

Luke tapped her calf again, mirth lilting his tone. “Still not a bad thing. It was cool in the 90s and it’s cool now. He’s an idiot for not going crazy over it.”

“My open heart?”, she chuckled.

“Yeah.” A beat. His eyes haven’t wavered. “Or you. In general.”

The smile bloomed to a full grin, a sliver of levity easing the ache in her chest. Why did he always know what to say? Granted, he used to be horrible at cheering her up, when she was fifteen and sadness lingered in her every move, but he got the hang of it after two years. A reassuring kiss on her temple before a stressful gig, a particularly uplifting speech during band circle, a new tune he came up with when he knew she didn’t feel like talking. Her teenage girl melodrama unfazed him.

Luke met her halfway for a tight hug. It was the most comfortable place to be; her cheek on his shoulder and his arms holding her so securely and how, after all they’ve been through, his 90s cologne smelled like home.

“Thank you,” she mumbled. “Some ghost girl is going to be so happy you’ve had practise dealing with me.”

He snorted. “Ah, yes. My harem of ghost girls. The, uh, market is really big for me.”

It wasn’t something they often discussed. It became clear that the boys weren’t going to cross over any time soon (if crossing over was even a thing, or the thing they thought it would be) and had time to settle into a long afterlife. Willie had been wandering around since the seventies and only now found Alex, so who knew how long Luke and Reggie would have to wait until they met their ghost-mate. It was a sad thought, but at least they had each other and music and the band.

There was also the minor problem that Luke sometimes had this look on his face, usually fixed on her, that left little to the interpretation. It hasn’t happened in a while, but every so often…

It kind of made her breathless. Whatever. It was dumb. Those feelings have long been buried. The point was that he should look at ghost girls like that - not her.

(A month after The Orpheum, they sat side by side behind the grand piano as they belted out a new song they’ve been working on, her fingers expertly gliding across the keys and slamming on those that needed that extra power. Julie was fully entranced, head thrown back and smiling through the lyrics as their voices reached a beautiful harmony no one could compete with. The last note drifted across the studio. When she turned to look at him, she expected to see the same grin. Instead, Luke gave her such a tender look, close, and let his doe eyes wander past her nose. Had Reggie not poofed in, she didn’t know if she would’ve had the restraint to not give in. To not be selfish. It was years ago, but she thought about it each time he joined her at the piano. It was the price for friendship, Julie often reminded herself. For an eternal bond.)

Rain kept drumming into the ground. It sounded like a million ping pong balls fell onto the roof at an incredible speed.

Luke pulled away and shot a look outside. “Damn.”

“Yeah,” Julie nodded. “I made a deal with God today. If I cry, the world does too.”

He rolled his eyes. “Dramatic.”

The smile stuck to her cheeks. Luke only needed a few minutes to lift her spirits. Tears didn’t even well up anymore. Was that bad? That one the same day, just in the afternoon, she already felt a bit better? She decided to not mull on the why.

“Wanna dance in the rain?”

She blinked. “What?”

He matched her smile, throwing his thumb at the doors. “Do you wanna dance in the rain?”

It was as if her brain wasn’t processing his words. “What? Why?”

“Why not?”, he shrugged. “You feel like shit, it never rains in LA and it’s fun.”

Quiet excitement coursed through her veins, the thrill pushing energy back in her bloodstream. Why not? The expectant twinkle in his eye brought colour to her face, jumping off the couch pulling him up with her. His whooping got her to laugh. It almost surprised her; she hasn’t properly laughed at all today.

They each pulled one sliding door open, their ears instantly bombarded with noise. It was the hardest downpour of the year!

“No running for cover!”, he yelled above the loud rushing of rain.

She stuck her pinky out. “Only if you won’t!”

And then they stepped in the rain. They were drenched straight away, a squeal erupting from her lips as the coldness crept between her clothes. He laughed, raking his hair back and leaping into a puddle. Water splashed around him.

His voice bellowed through the sound. “C’mon!”

It spurred her into action, his laugh replaying in her head over and over again, as her head lolled back and began to twirl in circles. Faster and faster, giggles tumbling out as felt herself becoming one with the rain. This was exactly what she needed. A moment of silliness and unconditional joy!

Luke was dancing like a maniac next to her, feet kicking and arms outstretched. She found herself staring at his profile, how bliss broke the lines in his face and caused a crescendo of glee to overcome him. It was mesmerising. Julie found herself slowing down, taken aback by the hope rising in her chest at the mere sight of him.

What she hoped for, she didn’t know. (She did. She just couldn’t admit it just yet.)

As if sensing her thoughts, Luke caught her eye with and yanked her into the dance without a second of hesitation. They spun around, hands intertwined and arms outstretched, daring to see how long they could keep going before one dropped from dizziness. Julie wasn’t afraid though. Luke would never let her fall.

They let go just as they were losing balance, snickering like fools and trying to find footing again. Julie jumped onto his back, him instantly jostling her around until she got chucked off like a sack of potatoes. Each grin and laugh and crack of thunder mended her heart, slipping the pieces back together and allowing it to bloom once more. Keep on breaking, keep on loving, keep on hoping, keep on hoping for-

Luke locked his hands around the small of her back. “Ready?!”

He didn’t have to ask twice, their steps speeding up as she threw her arms beside her and then, at their fastest, pulled one leg up to swing in his hold. How she didn’t slip on the soaking wet ground was a miracle.

Julie’s smile rivalled his, grabbing onto the lapels of his shacket to get him closer. He had something else in mind, hands slipping to her waist and launching her in the sky in one fluid motion. It took her breath away, quickly grabbing onto his shoulders and yelling her lungs out. It was just like in her dreams. Was it selfish of her to have yearned for this?

(She felt it. The way her heart washed away all the troubles, how the numbing cold shrivelled to make place for someone else.)

They shouted exclaims and curses into the rain. About Nick, about music, about each other, about how fucking unfair life could be, but damn - moments like these were worth the pain.

Her drenched curls tickled his face, causing him to sputter and attract her focus. Julie looked down at him and didn’t stop the heartstopping smile growing on her face. Oh.

Her fingers swiped against the planes of his cheeks, his grin beaming up at her and letting the dormant wildfire (snug between her ribs, among the flowers and the lyrics) come alive again. For so long, she hasn’t allowed herself to feel it. But how could she not when Luke propelled her into the storm itself, unify them like the whirlwind of passion they authentically were?

They were the thunder and the lightning, the silver lining and the punch line - the dancers in the rain.

He gently set her down, feet splashing. She didn’t let him pull away, instantly wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her face into his wet shirt. They smelled like wet dogs and it was better than any perfume she’s ever had.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

His head settled on top of hers, cool breath fanning her skin. “I can’t have you down in the gutter, Jules. Ever.”

I love you. “Ever?”

She felt him move, her eyes tilting to meet his. That expression she cherished deeply returned tenfold. His tender smile, the green hooded by shy eyes, an incredulous hitch of the breath.

Luke nodded, flitting gaze as if he didn’t quite know what to focus on, and carefully brushed a droplet from her cheek. “Ever.”

(Julie got a cold the next day. It didn’t matter - she had the boy of her dreams to keep her company.)

Breathe deep, let it wash over you We're slowly becoming lovers I promise you we won't be like the others We won't go running for cover

@blush-and-books @bluefirewrites @willexx @unsaid-emily @ourstarscollided @sophiphi @unsaidjulie

#juke #jatp fanfiction #julie and the phantoms #otp: i think we make each other better #nick takes the L

148 notes · View notes

sunset-curve-fantom · 4 years

Note

Could I request one where the reader comes from a rich family and her parents disapprove of Luke, since they see him as a punk. They don’t think he fits into their social class status, so the reader breaks the rules with Luke and even ditches with him to like make out or something? 😂👀👉👈

Status- Alive!Luke x Reader

A/N: IT DOES HAVE A LITTLE MOMENT AT THE END SO HEADS UP!! I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN.

Your parents never approved of any of your boyfriends in the past, and Luke was just another one. They felt he was a bad influence and that he was going to lead you down a path their 17-year-old daughter shouldn’t be on. But no matter what was said, you stood your ground. Luke was the love of your life, and you knew that deep inside of you. No measure of money was going to change your feelings. He was everything to you.

But no matter how many compelling conversations you had with your parents; they still saw him as punk. A boy who was unable to care for the daughter with the level of care they expected. They were so prejudice because of their social status; they didn’t want him to be involved with you.

You had gotten into more trouble recently, grades slipping and even egging someone’s house. You were a teen and for once, you wanted to act like one. Without your parents trying to reprimand you for every tiny thing. You knew where the balance was in your family, and it was clear Luke would never fit into the fold, which is why you were fighting with your dad again.

“Dad you are being ridiculous, Luke is a great guy. All you see is the fact he’s in a band and trying to make his dream come true. His decisions in life don’t change my life choices. For once, I just want to act like a teenager without you picking me apart.” You fought back, trying to prove a point to your father, he was so caught up in Luke’s choice of career and lack of money he didn’t see how happy his daughter was.

“Y/n, you are acting like a child. My opinion has nothing to do with you, but Luke is a punk. You are my daughter, and you deserve more in life than a washed-up musician who is going to begging on the street corner.” Your father screamed back at you, in all the time you had been with Luke, he never once raised his voice at you until this conversation.

You knew he was going to be anger, you wanted to take a year off after high school, not only for Luke but for you. A moment in time to focus on yourself and what path you wanted to take in life. But your dad did not approve, he felt taking a year off would just lead to more excuses. Swearing up and down that it was Luke’s idea and not yours.

The tears ran down your face as you tried to find the words, “No amount of money matters to me, Luke is what matters. My life will always be intertwined in his, no matter what his status is. I love him daddy, and if you can’t see that, then god I pity you. You wouldn’t know what love is if it smacked you in the face”

With that you took off running up the stairs in your home, trying to escape the anger boiling over in your father. He was angry and it was understandable, but you were his daughter, and he should care about your feelings too.

You slammed your bedroom door behind you, locking it swiftly. You didn’t want to be here any longer, you wanted to be with Luke. He was the only one who understood you, the money never mattered to you, even as rich as your family was. You swiftly unlocked your window, sliding down the roof and onto the patio, if he wasn’t aloud to come to you. You were going to go to him in a heartbeat.

Swiftly jogging down the street, you made you way to the Molina’s. More specifically you were looking for Luke in the garage, he had been crashing there for weeks after the fight with his parents. You swung the doors open and found the band rehearsing, when Luke saw you standing there with puffy eyes. He immediately took off his guitar, taking you into his arms. He knew things were getting rough at home, but he never thought it was this bad.

“Baby, what happened? Why are you crying?” he questioned, taking your face in between his calloused hands. You were sniffling, trying to contain yourself. Being angry was always the worse shade of your personality and you didn’t want to take it out on Luke.

You looked deep into his eyes, trying to find the words, “Luke… I-I I just.” You were struggling to find the perfect words. You knew it was going to crush him when you told him your parents’ opinion of him.

Taking a deep breath, you began again, “I snuck out after we got into a huge fight and my dad, he thinks you are a punk. He thinks you are going to ruin my chances of getting into a good school and expanding my future. He is so caught up in his world, to even consider how I am feeling for once in his selfish life. God, he is so caught up with money and status, that he doesn’t care what I want in my life. Because I want you Luke, the good and the bad. No matter how far you go or how much money you make, I just want to be with you.” The words finally flying out of you. Luke was just nodding along, letting you express everything you were feeling in that moment.

Luke pulled you close to him as you finished, he just sighed. He was going to give you the world and he knew that. He knew he was going to sell out shows, but most of all he knew he was going to make you proud. Sadly, your father who couldn’t find the stick shoved so far up his ass didn’t know that reality yet. As Luke knew he was going to marry you one day and support you no matter what your dreams were. He was your equal and no amount of money was going to change that.

You sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck, “Luke, you are worth so much more than any amount of money. I love you for you, and that is what matters to me”

Swiftly you pressed your lips to his, the electricity surging through the both of you. It felt so right, it always had between you. He carefully picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. He sat down on the couch, with you straddling his hips and he gripped your hips tightly. You knew he was going to leave bruises on your hips, he always did when he was passionate about something.

You continued kissing, the butterflies pooling in your stomach as you became overcome with passion. He was the one for you, he was always going to be the one you wanted in life. You pulled away, resting your hands in his hair, this was a normal position for you.

“Luke, when I say I love you. I mean that, I know in my heart that I am going to marry you one day. I don’t care what my dad has to say about it. You, Luke Patterson are the one for me” You said softly, as you watched the red blush cross his cheeks

“Well you should know that I love you too, more than the music running through me. I am going to marry you one day, I knew that the moment I met you. As for you dad, he’s going to have to get used to the idea of a punk being his son-in-law” Luke said with his signature smirk embedded on his lips.

You knew in that moment; Luke was yours no matter what any status said.

#julie and the phantoms #luke patterson #luke patterson imagines #alex x reader #alex #julie and the fat ones #luke patterson smut #luke patterson x reader #reggie x reader #julie x reader

400 notes · View notes

purrincess-chat · 3 years

Text

Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s Spite Playlist: Remix CH27

What are Marinette and Chloe going to do now that they’re in cahoots? Find out below~

Previous First Next AO3

----------------------------------------------

Chapter 27: Better Than Revenge

“I’m surprised to see you here, Dupain-Cheng,” Chloe said as Jean Luke poured their tea.

Marinette averted her gaze the way Adrien always did when he came over. People with morals really were annoying.

“Lila’s gone too far. I can’t turn a blind eye and watch my friends get walked over,” she said. “This afternoon, she-”

“Look, I’ve already agreed to help you. I don’t need the whole sob story.” Chloe held up a hand.

“Where were you today anyway? I didn’t see you at the Louvre,” Marinette asked.

“I needed a spa day, so I conned Adrien into taking notes for me.” Chloe examined her perfectly manicured nails. “I see you’ve changed your mind about the status of those brats in your life.”

Marinette sighed. “They’re my friends, or at least, they were at one point. I hate seeing Lila blatantly manipulate them for her own selfish gain.”

“Yes, yes, I’ve got that much, how noble, now what are you thinking? I say we invite her onto a ‘game show’ only in reality it’s a trap we’ve set up where we’ll get a bunch of celebrities to diss her on live television.” Chloe took a sip with a wicked grin.

“Look, I’m agreeing to help you, but we need to set up some ground rules first,” Marinette said.

Chloe sat back with a groan, crossing her arms over her chest. “Fine, what?”

“I want everyone to find out that she’s a liar, yes, but I don’t want to be needlessly cruel.” Chloe rolled her eyes, but Marinette continued, “We need to be smart about this, or else she’ll just play the victim.”

Chloe thought back to their previous failed attempts and pursed her lips. “Fine. Anything else?”

“Yes. Secondly, and most importantly, Adrien cannot find out that I’m helping you,” she said. The corners of Chloe’s lips twitched into a smirk. “I’m serious, Chloe. Don’t tell him.”

Chloe eyed her for a long moment, debating whether or not to say anything when another knock pounded on her door, and Jean Claude moved to answer it. She squared her shoulders, lifting her teacup to her lips with a sly grin.

“I won’t tell him.” She vowed as Jean Mark unlatched the lock. “You can tell him yourself.”

“Okay, Lila has gone too far this time. I’m ready to do things-” Adrien stormed into the room, stopping short when he laid eyes on Marinette, “-your way… Marinette?”

“Adrien?”

“What are you doing here?” They said in unison.

Adrien’s eyebrows furrowed, and he flicked his gaze between Marinette and Chloe.

“I was just-”

“Oh, save it you two!” Chloe interjected with a groan. “Adrien texted me earlier; Dupain-Cheng just showed up at my door, and now you’re both here for the same reason.”

“I know we promised to stay out of it, but Lila has gone too far.” Adrien flashed Marinette pathetic puppy eyes. “I’m sorry for going behind your back.”

“No, you’re right. Lila has to be stopped. That’s why I went behind your back too,” Marinette said. “Forgive me?”

“Of course!”

“Ugh, if you two start kissing, I’m gonna throw up,” Chloe moaned. “So, what’s the plan? I can get a crate addressed to the middle of the Amazon here in the next 20 minutes.”

“Ship her to Egypt for all I care!” Adrien threw his arms out in exasperation.

Chloe reached for her phone with an excited grin that deflated upon seeing Marinette’s contemplative frown.

“Don’t even try to convince us. It’s two against one unless you’ve got a better idea.”

“As fun as it would be, I’m pretty sure that’s highly illegal,” Marinette said pointedly.

“Buzzkill.” Chloe slumped, letting her phone fall back to her lap.

“We need to figure out a way to help everyone realize the truth and prevent her from ever lying again.” Marinette tapped her chin.

“Perfect. Do you want to call Jagged Stone, or should I?” Chloe picked up her phone again.

“You saw how well your interview with Ladybug went. Everyone knows I have an in with Jagged, so exposing her will only make us look like the bad guys for ganging up on her.” Marinette shook her head.

“Don’t you think she more than deserves it? After everything she’s done to you, Marinette, and especially after today with what happened.” Adrien winced. “Look, normally I’m with you, but Lila is evil. She can’t be saved.”

“No, but our friends can.” Marinette turned to face him. “Regardless of how obvious her lies are and how many times we’ve tried to tell them the truth, they’re being manipulated, and it’s going to break their hearts when they find out.”

Adrien held her gaze, pursing his lips, but after a moment, he nodded.

“Okay, you’re right.” He gestured for her to take the lead.

“What? You’re switching sides on me? Traitor!” Chloe shot forward with a gasp, though she shouldn’t have been surprised.

“Chloe, I’m not suggesting doing nothing, just doing something smarter,” Marinette said.

“Like?” Chloe cocked a brow, and Marinette took a thoughtful sip of tea. She really hated how methodical Marinette could be.

“Well, I sort of have half an idea.” Marinette set the cup down. “You and Adrien have a lot of power and money as do a lot of my new friends, and today at lunch when they were talking about Christmas with royalty and charity trips I had a thought: What if we recreate all of Lila’s lies ourselves as truths for the whole world to see?”

“That way when news trickles down to the school they’ll realize that Lila never did any of those things.” Adrien finished, and Marinette nodded. “That’s genius! We’ll have all the proof, and Lila will be forced to admit that she lied without us ever having to confront her.”

“And we get to help people along the way and bring some good from this messy situation.” Marinette added.

“I always knew you were brilliant, mon ange.” Adrien lifted her hand to his lips, gaze soft and disgustingly affectionate. Chloe wanted to barf.

“I still prefer making her disappear, but I guess your idea could work too.” Chloe relented with a huff. Anything to get them out of her suite. She still couldn’t believe Adrien actually fell for her of all people. “It’s the most Marinette way you could have suggested. Always trying to make the world a better place, so annoying.”

“I’ll talk to my friends tomorrow at school and come up with a plan of action. It’s a lot of work, but I think this way Lila will have nowhere left to run. She’ll have to own up,” Marinette said.

“I’m behind you all the way.” Adrien gave her hand a squeeze.

Chloe stood up, clapping her hands. If she had to sit through any more of their cooing, she was going to break out in hives.

“Wonderful, now if you two don’t mind I’m late for a date with a hot stone massage.” She waved her arms in a ‘shoo’ motion, so Marinette and Adrien took their leave. “Jean Clarke, tell the cage guy to be ready on standby. Just in case.”

“Yes, mademoiselle.”

♪♫♪ Call It What You Want ♪♫♪

The slam of Chloe’s suite door echoed in the hall with a bang, and Marinette rubbed her temple with a sigh. Was one normal day so much to ask for? Marinette thought she was getting out of this mess when she changed schools, but somehow she kept getting dragged in deeper.

Adrien slipped his fingers into hers and tugged her toward the stairs. “I think you and I have a lot to talk about.”

He remained quiet for the first flight, lips screwed into a pensive frown. Should she speak first? What would she even say? They’d both gone behind each other’s backs to see Chloe, but they’d done it to protect each other. All she wanted was one perfect day with him, but it seemed that the closer they got to each other, the more complicated everything around them became. His silence ate at her as they rounded the second flight, but halfway down he finally spoke.

“I know you didn’t want to get involved with Lila, which is why I came here today. Even if Lila hadn’t pulled that stunt at the end, I’d already texted Chloe to start again.” He lowered his gaze to his feet. “You must be disappointed in me.”

“Adrien,” Marinette said, tightening her grip on his hand. “I came here without you too, ya know. Lila isn’t giving us the option to stay out of it anymore. She’s not going to stop unless we do something.”

“I know.” Adrien stopped and pulled her into his arms. “I just can’t stand to see you so broken and upset. Just when I started to think that things were going to be okay, she goes on the offensive again. Sometimes I feel like we’re never going to win.”

“We will. One day Lila won’t be able to touch us.” Marinette assured him.

He pulled back with a tortured frown. “That wasn’t how I wanted things to happen earlier. I didn’t want our first kiss to be so heavy. I was hoping that tonight… I planned something for us, but now I feel like everything is ruined.”

“You planned something?” Marinette quirked a brow, heart fluttering.

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I was hoping we could have dinner at my place and finally celebrate your designs for Clara. We could still go—if you want. Everything is set up.”

Marinette’s cheeks warmed, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Her prince was always looking out for her. She leaned in to kiss his cheek.

“I’d love to.”

♪♫♪ Fun Tonight ♪♫♪

“I’m sorry. This is all my fault.”

Nino flicked his gaze over to Alya as she set a tray of juice on the desk. She crossed the room to sit beside him on the bed, and Nino buried his face in his knees.

“What did I do wrong? I was right there, she could have come to me,” he said.

“I never painted Ladybug as the type of person to take her anger out on other people, but I guess it’s true when they say no one’s perfect.” Alya remarked bitterly. “But if she wants to be that way then, who cares? We don’t need superpowers.”

“But having superpowers was awesome! Fighting crime with Ladybug and Chat Noir was totally legit!” Nino lifted his head with a frown.

“Well, what kind of hero is Ladybug if she turns her back on real heroes? If she puts hurt feelings over the safety of the city? We never gave her a reason not to trust us,” Alya said.

“You used to look up to her, Alya.” Nino sat back and looked her up and down. “Now you’ve deleted your blog, and you sound like you hate her.”

“Can you blame me? After how she treated Lila and now she’s taking it out on us?” Alya shook her head. “She’s not the person I thought she was.”

“Al…” Nino lowered his gaze. “I know you’re hurt, but I’m worried about you. You’re always stressed and exhausted and angry nowadays ever since…since you and Lila started hanging out more.”

“At least Lila hasn’t turned her back on me!” Alya snapped. She knew exactly what he omitted.

Ever since Marinette left.

Nino sighed, placing his hand over hers. “It’s been a long day. Let’s not fight, okay?”

“Sorry, I’m just all riled up from this afternoon.” Alya crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against his shoulder. “Lila says her ankle still hurts.”

“Do you really think Marinette pushed her?” Nino asked. “I mean, I know Marinette has been kind of a loose cannon lately, and their beef runs deep, but I’ve known Marinette a long time. She’s not the type to hurt someone.”

“She hurt me,” Alya mumbled.

“Don’t you think this feud has gone on long enough? There has to be some middle ground somewhere. I mean, I lost my best bud too,” Nino said. “I miss the way things were before all of this. Don’t you?”

“Nino…” Alya lowered her gaze, then nuzzled in closer. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

Nino sighed, and Alya sat up, cupping his cheek. His eyes swirled with unease that only added to Alya’s reservoir of guilt, but he didn’t argue further. He wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her in.

“Then let’s not talk.”

#mdcspr #marinette dupain-cheng's spite playlist remix #my writing #every time i open this chapter i get better than revenge stuck in my head

41 notes · View notes

pink-flame · 3 years

Note

Omg darling congrats on 500 followers!!!

I don't know if your requests are now closed for business, so if they're not:

Wrap Me Up-verse, school/recovery/cuddles/shy flirting and fluff

Here you go! I hope you like it. 💜

It had been a few days since Luke had found Julie sick in bed and absolutely miserable.

He could still remember the feeling of absolute panic that had washed over him when he had poofed up to her room only to be greeted with the sight of her curled up in a tight ball, her eyes full of tears.

Alex had accused him not so long ago of not being able to handle when other people cry and though he had denied it at the time it was probably a fair assessment. Maybe it was because he grew up in a house where his mom’s emotions were always simmering right beneath the surface, waiting to burst out. Maybe he was just selfish and he didn’t want to have to deal with the discomfort of comforting someone when he really had no idea what he was doing. Either way, he had always avoided spending a lot of time around crying people when he was alive. On the rare occasions he hadn’t been able to avoid them, he had consistently been filled with anxiety at having to deal with something that made him so uncomfortable.

Only when he saw Julie crying it wasn’t his own discomfort that made him feel so panicked.

It was his absolute desperation to fix whatever was wrong with her and make her feel better.

In the end he thought he had done a decent job, recalling everything his mom had done for him when he was sick and doing his best to recreate it for her. By the time she had fallen asleep in his arms as he told her a story he was pretty sure she was feeling at least marginally better. She had still been stuck mostly in bed for a few more days though and Luke had stuck to her side obsessively. Alex’s words, not his.

Not that Alex was wrong.

Luke just wasn’t going to tell him that.

But now it had been a few days and Julie was recovered enough to return to school. He couldn’t understand anyone being excited about the prospect of returning to school but Julie seemed to be.

Luke sat on the far edge of the bathroom counter, legs dangling and kicking restlessly, as Julie got ready for her first day back.

He watched as she reached up to carefully twist some hair back from her face, doing his best not to get distracted by the way her hair was pretty, and her hands were pretty and her face was almost too pretty to look at directly.

Alex would have a lot to say about that train of thought as well.

Luckily his friend couldn’t actually read his thoughts. Yet.

As far as he knew.

Suddenly Julie paused in her efforts and a small wheezing sound emerged from her mouth as as she hunched over slightly.

“Jules!”

Luke was on his feet instantly, his hands coming up to flutter nervously around Julie’s face before he decided to say to hell with his worries about if he was still allowed to do what he had when she was sick. He brought his palms down to rest against her cheeks, eyes darting across her face searching for the slightest sign of discomfort.

She stared up at him for a moment in silence, her eyes wide and locked onto his.

Luke realized that his thumbs were stroking absentminded patterns on her cheeks at just about the same time he realized that a blush was spreading across her face. He could feel the warmth gathering under his fingers. Oh. So maybe he wasn’t the only one affected by being so close.

“Uh...Luke?” She finally broke the moment though her voice was still hushed. “You can let go now.”

“Oh, right,” He dropped his hands reluctantly and took a half step back. “Are you ok?”

“I’m good,” She assured him. “I was just clearing my throat.”

Luke shot her skeptical look.

“You were coughing, Julie. Maybe you should stay home a few more days.”

Julie was already shaking her head.

“The doctor says I’m not contagious anymore and I’ve already missed too much. I’m fine.”

“I don’t trust this doctor,” Luke grumbled. “He shouldn’t be rushing you.”

Julie gave him an amused look, that very specific one he had come to learn meant she was trying not to show she was amused by him even though she was.

It was quickly becoming one of his favorite Julie looks, not that there were any he didn’t like.

“He’s not rushing me,” Julie insisted. “I’m fine, Luke. Really.”

“But how do I know?” He asked without exactly meaning to. “I’ll just worry all day.”

He worried for a moment that he had overstepped, that he was forgetting again that just because she had reached for his comfort when she was sick didn’t mean she would welcome it now. But then her expression softened and she stepped forward to wrap her arms around his waist, her head turning to rest against his chest.

“Don’t worry about me,” She practically whispered. “Then I’ll worry about you worrying and we’ll both be a mess all day.”

Luke’s arms came up automatically to return her embrace, reveling in the feel of her warm and soft against him. It was probably that heady feeling that led him to say what he said next.

“What if...what if I came with you?”

Julie pulled back just enough so that she could look up at him.

“You want to go to school? You hated school.”

“I want to go where you’re going,” He corrected. “Always.”

He hadn’t meant to add that last part but he couldn’t exactly regret it when her face was lighting up like it was.

“Ok,” She agreed to his surprise, her arms still firmly latched around him. “But you can’t distract me.”

Luke let a slow grin ease onto his face.

“Would I do that?”

Juie groaned and pulled back to face the mirror and resume doing her hair.

“I am in so much trouble.”

#500 followers #prompt game #wrap me up #juke #jatp #my fics

81 notes · View notes

generalfoolish · 3 years

Text

Sherrstoy

Sherrstoy: Lust for life

Rating: 18+ (minors take a hike)

Warnings: language, confrontations, confessions, jealous!Din, soft!Din, S1 and S2 spoilers (kind of)

Word count: ~1.7K

Pairing: (eventually!!!) Din Djarin x F!reader

Summary: Two Mandalorians and a Sheriff walk into a bar...

A/N: Hey babes! This is part of the #mandomay2021 prompt list. I have officially lost count, because I am off, I think? Oh, also, in this house Cara Dune is not affiliated with g*na. She's not a POS, and very much an ally. Anyway: Enjoy 💕

Masterlist | Yaim | Atin

Let me know if you want to be tagged!

You watched with a grimace as Cara tipped back another glass. You had lost count of how many drinks the ex-Shock Trooper had downed, and you were in awe that she still seemed coherent. After a brief moment of hesitation at the start of the evening, you had slid your helmet off and decided to match her drink for drink.

When you were afraid you’d lost your eyesight, you cut yourself off, and could only watch with trepidation as she kept going. You sipped your water, wondering if Din ever let his guard down like this, but almost snorted in response to your own thoughts. Of course, he didn’t. He was the most guarded person you’d ever met.

“That’s when the AT-ST stepped in the hole, and we came up out of that vaping krill water. It smelled about as good as you’d expect. Ole buckethead there would’ve done anything for Omera though.” Cara finished with a laugh, and drained her cup. She motioned for the waitress to come back around, and hadn’t noticed your mood change.

Who was Omera? The insidious voice you’d all but managed to quell squeaked from your depths.

If you hadn’t sobered up a bit, you wouldn’t have noticed Din stiffen beside you.

“Well, I think you fared pretty well from our Sorgan dealings.” Din told Cara in a gruff voice. She laughed.

“Before or after you tried to get us all killed by Moff Gideon? Twice?” She was pointing at him, but had a mischievous twinkle in her eye. For all her blustering, you could tell she was fond of Din. She even seemed fond of his adoptive son, asking all about the trip to Dagobah.

“Not my first choice, Dune.” He retorted quietly. You simply tried to follow their conversation. You didn’t know half the people, or places, they discussed. You didn’t know much about Din, you were beginning to realize.

Cara waved him off, and accepted her next cup.

“You wouldn’t believe the mess we had to clean up here,” She began, turning her attention back to you. “This town was trashed. We’re still cleaning up now! That’s not even the worst of it. Thought we’d all die on that Star Destroyer, gunned down by those Dark Troopers, or worse, the laser sword. Couldn’t get out of there fast enough.” Cara told you conspiratorially.

“I can’t imagine Luke in action.” You muttered, wondering what his jetii’kad looked like in action. You felt Din tense again, and wondered why.

“He was a whirl of green. He sliced through those bots like bantha butter.”

“It seems Jedi are quite skilled.” Din interjected, and you noted the bitter tone.

“That’s right, you mentioned having met another. What were they like?” You asked, trying to discern his mood. He only grunted in response. Cara waggled her eyebrows and asked for two more drinks, before you could reject it. She slid you the cup, and you tipped it back. The rushing liquid leaving a harsh burning in your throat, and a new warmth in your belly.

“I think it’s time to pack up.” Din told Cara, and she sighed deeply.

“You never come out anymore, Mando.”

“I’ve never come out before.” He deadpanned.

“We’ll always have Sorgan.” She told him wistfully.

“You drank enough for the whole village, then.” He told her, harshly. She only laughed.

“May the Force be with you.” She said with a hint of laughter, and Din left quickly. You followed, tossing a small wave over your shoulder.

~~~

“That was irresponsible.” Din muttered through a clenched jaw. You shrugged, dropping your helmet.. The rest of the armor followed. He pulled his helmet off, and you could see his twitching eye.

“Oh calm down. No one was going to try anything. Dune has whipped this town into shape.” You told him, sitting down heavily on a crate. The cargo hold seemed to be spinning.

“Regardless.” His lips remained tight, and his jaw was trembling from the tension. So, he was pissed pissed. You waved him off, knowing it would likely make him madder. A low growl was his only response.

“I don’t see what the problem is, Din.” You said with a heavy sigh. The room was spinning less, but you knew you’d be in for it in the morning. The dull ache of a headache was already starting to form. When he hadn’t answered, you looked up to him. He was seething. “What? What was so bad?” You asked again, almost incredulous.

“What was that about?” He asked, and you didn’t miss his hands clenching and unclenching from fists by his side.

“What was what about?” You asked again. Your exasperation was sobering you quickly.

“Luke.” The name fell snarled from his lips, like it was ripped from him. You knit your eyebrows together.

“Luke Skywalker?” You echoed, throat dry from the drinking. Din didn’t explain any further. “You’re going to have to say something. I have no idea what Luke has to do with this...” You gestured to him, and you could feel the anger rolling off of him.

You felt the air change before you noticed why. The air felt less hazardous, and more anxious. You raked your eyes over his face in search of answers. You weren’t met with blind rage, as you were before. This time it was panic. This time you recognized the bitter feeling.

“Are you jealous, Din?” He seemed to sag under the weight of the confession, pain settling into his dark eyes. The red light of the hold flushed over you, and you wished you could see him without the harsh lights. You stood from the crate and walked to him. He tensed under your scrutiny, and again, when you laid a hand on his arm.

“How could you possibly be jealous? Half that conversation was about your ex.” You scolded, playfully, trying to lift the mood. It didn’t. Something else bubbled into the tension.

“What?” His voice was soft, but his tone was harsh.

“Omera? Your ex, I thought.” You answered with a shrug, not trying to seem too bothered. You’d had partners before. Clumsy and inexperienced, but lovers all the same. He exhaled sharply.

“She wasn’t anything.” He told you, but you could feel something else under the words. A half-truth, a placation he’d told himself, maybe.

“Liar.” You whispered back to him, and he inhaled deeply.

“She could have been everything, but she wasn’t anything.” The words should have been a comfort, but Din was looking through you, as if you weren’t there. You jerked your hand away from his arm. You couldn’t hide the hurt on your face.

“Well, I promise nothing like that is going on with Luke.” You managed, hoping the venom in your tone was enough to sting him. It was. He winced, and reached for you. In one last petty act, you moved out of his reach, and you watched his face fall as his arm returned to his side.

“You misunderstand. For so long, I was just jumping from job to job. Trying to make credits for the foundlings. Trying to make a suit of armor. I was...someone else. I found the kid, and there are some hard truths about myself that I learned the hard way. Sorgan was the first time I allowed myself to sit still. I did it for selfish reasons, but I saw another life there. A better life, for the kid. I made the choice for myself, before we had to leave, like Cara mentioned. Omera wanted me to stay. She asked me to put this part of myself away. It was this life that I had never imagined for myself. It was so domestic, mesh’la. It was tempting. But, I turned her down. My sherrstoy was too large for the small village. Getting fat on krill and spotchka in a backwater skughole, that’s not me. Even before the kid. Especially after the kid. I’m glad I’m not being hunted, but I don’t want to…” He paused, searching for the right words.

“Miss the galaxy?” You added, feeling your chest tighten as he nodded. You had been grappling with those same feelings for some time. You wondered constantly if you should have just stayed on Jelucan. You felt every word of his speech reverberating through your body. Every hesitation of his lit you on fire. Domesticity had been bled from him, as it had from you. As much as you wanted to give up, settle down somewhere, and feel a soft breeze across your face, you knew that there was a part of you that would never be content to do so. It was the manda driving you forward, putting one boot in front of the other, pushing you further than you thought you would go.

You mulled with his word choice, a sherrstoy, a lust for life. It was perfect. It was an answer, but it was also a question.

“I don’t want to miss it either, Din.” You told him gently. “I don’t think about anyone the way I think about you. You’re something else entirely. I wouldn’t let you leave, but I wouldn’t make you stay.” You rested your hand on his cheek, and he pushed into your hand.

You wanted to remember him like this. Pupils blown out, staring at you like you were made of stars and if he reached out to touch you, you’d disappear. His scruff tickled your fingers, and his messy hair framed his awe-stricken face. You didn’t need a map to read his heart, it was written there on his face. He’d chase you, if you ever left.

It was hard to give yourself like this. It was hard to slow your racing heart. Neither of you knew what you were doing, that much was clear. It was messing with your head, the way you had interlaced so easily with him. It hadn’t been long, a few weeks, but you’d fallen hard for the man before you.

You reached up, up on tip-toe, to place a gentle kiss on his lips. He snaked his arms around your waist and hungrily deepened the kiss.

#mandomay2021 #the mandalorian #mando x you #mando x reader #mando x fem!reader #din djarin #Din Djarin x you #din djarin x f!reader #din djarin x female reader #Din Djarin x reader #star wars #Star Wars fic

54 notes · View notes