#the omens are inauspicious this year

[terpsikeraunos]

groundhog day is modern augury

[deathstench]

Formed ten years ago, DEATHSTENCH released three albums and many eps.. The "Massed in Black Shadow" album was a great obscure and dangerous one..The crown of their sacrifice was their collaboration with Bon Masters Phurpa. John Paul Whetzel and Darea Plantin spells behind this interview.

“Blood Moon Divination” was your latest release. It was released in a limited amount of copies and only in Tape format. Why this choice?

We have always preferred analog releases. We view physical copies as something that should be appreciated.. Let's face it, it's the 21st century, and people do most of their listening through some sort of streaming service. If they like it, they most likely pirate it. We understand this; Our physical releases are intentionally designed for coveting.

We put a great deal of energy into each release. In our past special editions, we have included ritual accouterments that correspond with each album, such as shards of human bone and incense we made specifically for the intent to conjure with the dead.

You have released three albums. Please tell us the concept behind each one and the process of the recordings…Each release turns out to more noisy and dark forms..

To be precise it's four albums, and numerous collaborations and splits. Our releases are not in any sort of chronological order, from conception to the final product takes its own time dependant upon the haste of that particular record label. We record basically the same for each album, building upon a structured theme. Our music is built on layers of sounds from instruments, traditional and otherwise, that we record with either handheld devices or microphones connected to an audio interface which we use to record our percussion and amps.

Each track on "Blood Moon Divination" is an audial ritual recorded and released during each specific Blood Moon in the tetrad cycle of blood moon eclipses of 2014-2015. Through that span of time, these celestial vibrations were available as they were being released on several streaming platforms, including Black Metal and Brews and Repartiseraren. A tetrad of lunar eclipses is extremely uncommon. This was only the eighth of such cycles in over two thousand years. We compiled them together for a physical album that we chose to release during the first exclusive total solar eclipse the United States had seen in over two hundred years. Eclipses, both solar and lunar, are considered to be very inauspicious events throughout the world. As an omen of war, the Talmud regards "If the face of the moon is as red as blood it is a sign that the sword is coming to the world."

"N.O.X." is a transcendent four track journey that starts out violently with the lo-fi black metal track OXEX DAZIS SIATRIS, Enochian for "Vomiting The Head of Scorpions" and slowly transforms itself into a less chaotic discord that concludes with the meditative piece "Mysterivm Tremendvm". N.O.X. or "The Night of Pan", is a mystical state that represents the stage of ego-death in the process of spiritual attainment. The Greek word Pan also translates as All, as he is a symbol of the Universal, a personification of Nature; both Pangenetor, "all-begetter," and Panphage, "all-devourer". Pan is both the giver and the taker of life, and his Night is that time of symbolic death where the adept experiences unification with the All through the ecstatic destruction of the ego-self. In a more general sense, it is the state where one transcends all limitations and experiences oneness with the universe.

"Nekro Blood Ritual", our second album, was designed specifically for its cassette release and is broken into two sections: Conjuration Rites and Burial Evocation. This album focuses on conjuring the dead and the desecration of human remains. This is by far our most atmospheric album; most of the tracks are rely heavily on field recordings and stygian synthesizers to evoke the abject darkness. These songs are reminiscent to the "Incantations in Dead Tongues" era of our work. There are only two conventional (for use of a better term) songs on this album, "Nekrobloodritual" and "Desecrating The Host" the latter being a harsh black funeral doom dirge for the departed.

In our debut album, "Massed in Black Shadow" we utilize all of our influences through the years. Incorporating elements of death industrial, dark ambient, doom, and black metal, and hideously transforming and conjoining them into a writhing mass of absolute filth, a sound truly all our own. The final track, titled “Bastards of the Black Flame” can be considered a motto to us, as it is exactly who we are. The byproducts of an unholy union between some of the most violent forms of music, in both sound and ideologies.

DEATHSTENCH collaborated with Phurpa. How did this Union take form? Are you interested in the theory of empiricism in Bon Religion?

In 2012 Alexei Tegin had discovered our music from our debut album and contacted us. Both Phurpa and ourselves operate with the same meditative qualities regarding our music. Although our sound derives from different spectrums, they coalesce quite vividly. "Evoking Shadows of Death" fuses our ultrasonic vibrations and harsh atmospheres with the harmonious chants and deep, droning reverberations of their tantric voice. These two tracks are designed to help the chod practitioner tap the power of fear. This transformation does not fall spontaneously, as grace, upon the listener: the practitioner must engage in the process. One must take steps to transmute through the aural plane and, through a process in which they must actively participate, requiring utmost concentration and mental stamina. This mystical experience is achieved, not bestowed.

Empirical reasoning has no place in esoteric practices and the occult. These objects are neither phenomena (empiricism) nor human constructs imposed upon the phenomena (idealism), but real structures which endure and operate independently of our knowledge, our experience and the conditions which allow us access to them. Some things cannot be reduced down to empirical measurements.

Thanatology and satanism are your basic influences. How do you define satanism and how death in your personal path?

Deathlore has always intrigued the both of us. There is absolutely nothing more final than Death. Every single one of us will die, as Death does not discriminate. Dying, death and how human beings respond to the inevitability of their mortality and cope with the reality of loss can be viewed from a wide range of perspectives. Our intent has never been to elaborate on our practices or rituals to any audience. Even the altars we allow you to see are set up specifically for public viewing. While they are still symbolic of what we would normally produce for our own rituals, the intent isn't there. It's merely superficial. Our personal altars and rituals will always remain clandestine, as all witchcraft should be.

“Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know.” ― Lao Tzu

I would like to hear your thoughts and if you are into the systems of O.N.A & Temple of the Black Light in theory and praxis as Traditional satanic approach you unveil through your works . Satanism is such an elaborate construct; Atheistic, LaVeyan, theistic, there are so many paths. Satan has always been symbolic with the quest for Knowledge, of opposition to arbitrary authority, forever defending personal sovereignty even in the face of insurmountable odds. Our path cannot be defined by one simple ideology.

We have absolutely no affiliation with these groups.

Does DEATHSTENCH ever perform live?

We are very selective in our live performances. The last show was in Portland, Oregon way back in 2015 when we opened up for MGLA, Weregoat, and Sempiternal Dusk. Alan Dubin (of Gnaw, Khanate) and Billy Anderson, whom we have long collaborated with, did a sort of dueling vocals approach to our fifteen-minute audial assault on an beyond-capacity crowd. This show was recorded by Mateo from Greysun Records who also released it on his label in 2018.

Necromancy is an Old Art Like Time.Ancient Greece had deep roots also in this Subject. Are you familiar with the Ancient Greek Mysteries?

Yes, we are familiar with some of the Chthonic mysteries highlighting mortality and the briefness of life, and the spirits of the blessed dead. Though, like most true paths of esoteric knowledge, not much is truly known about the intricacies of these rituals, having been sworn to secrecy and then lost to the Sands of Time. It has been suggested that communicants would drink Kykeon infused with the psychotropic fungus ergot which helped the initiate to reach a fuller understanding of their purpose in life and to shed their fear of death and this, then, heightened the experience and helped transform the initiate. The same can be said of the Huichol in Mexico, who eat peyote at the completion of long arduous pilgrimages in order that they may experience in the journey of the soul of the dead to the underworld. Death worship and eschatology are celebrated by all cultures throughout time, most with the use of hallucinogens.

I would like to hear your thoughts on these words: “This being true for the ordinary Universe, that all sense-impressions are dependent on changes in the brain we must include illusions, which are after all sense-impressions as much as “realities” are, in the class of “phenomena dependent on brain-changes.”  ― S.L. MacGregor Mathers, Goetia the Lesser Key of Solomon the King: Lemegeton, Book 1 Clavicula Salomonis Regis

In contemporary education, the emphasis has been on the psychomotor and the cognitive, namely reading, writing, and arithmetic, at the expense of the affective, namely, the emotions, the sensual, the intuitive, and the imaginative. Priority has been assigned to the verbal-intellectual skills. Anything else tends to be shelved or boxed and put away as ephemeral, esoteric, or mystical, each of these terms being used in a pejorative sense.

Consider for a moment the human sensory system. To the scientific mind, the senses are perceived to act as a kind of data-reduction system. The problem with this concept of the senses is that we do not respond to all that is potential sensory input. Perception is quite a selective process, attending to only a small fraction of so-called reality.

To some extent, scientist or artist, everything we perceive is "illusory," since to perceive anything at all we must use our imaginative capacity for fantasy.

What can we expect from DEATHSTENCH in the near future?

We have a few albums waiting in the shadows including collaborations with Sektor 304 and LINEKRAFT, as well as another full-length album incorporating both Billy Anderson and Alan Dubin. Time is relative, and there are no promises as to when any of these releases will see the light of day.

[appears]

20th Anniversary

Ayumi Hamasaki: Moments (2004.03.31)

Ayumi Hamasaki's Moments was the beginning of what the industry and now the lay public refer to as a new "era." The single followed the release of Ayu's first mini-album, a collection of eight songs released at the end of 2003 that compiled her last three singles (including the tripe A-side &, No way to say, and forgiveness), along with four new songs, of which all but one received an accompanying music video (that would be the closing, and fan favorite, title track "Memorial address (take 2 version)," which is considered something of a bonus track.

Her next album would be released almost one year later, and to kick start the promotions, she released the elegant "Moments," a sort of melancholy spring ballad similar to previous ballads like "No way to say" and "HANABI ~episode II~." In hindsight, this was an ominous choice -- ominous as in thick with omens, not inauspicious or threatening -- because it succinctly foretold the musical language of its resulting album, MY STORY (think "walking proud" and "HAPPY ENDING"). It has a steady pace, but it never lacks for punch in the chorus, and like the return to spring itself, it's cyclical, always shifting back to that slower pace again and again. This is another in a running series of "seasonal" singles that Ayumi, like the rest of J-pop, indulged in, but which took on a particular significance here with the two follow-ups: the summery "INSPIRE" and wintry "CAROLS." This sets up MY STORY as a deliberate year-long diary that uses the seasons as a foundational base. And "Moments" is where it all starts, with its symbolic invocation of new life and rebirth in the flowers and bright greens of the cover art. The music video, too, features a literal room full of technicolor flowers, an almost blinding bubblegum-pink field of blooms among which children play. In classic Ayu PV fashion, it takes on a sinister feel, but never gets scary or ugly, instead depicting an uncanny kind of wonder.

In March of 2004, we were well beyond the point of maxi-singles that featured a dozen remixes of the title track, but we do get two remixes on this single: a beautiful acoustic piano version that invoked the Acoustic Orchestra series of remix albums, as well as a mostly forgettable dance remix by CMJK titled the "Flying humanoid Mix." I'm disappointed by this remix, as CMJK usually produces some great stuff, like the "Ocean View Remix" of "Far away" as well as the extended mix of "opening run" on the Daybreak single. Ayumi's vocals sound great on this track so the acoustic piano version, which trades all of the pomp of the original for simple piano and some strings, sounds fantastic.

This was the first Ayu single to be released in both a regular CD-only version, and a CD+DVD version that included the music video. The latter required an extra $8 for the DVD of the music video which can now be found on Ayu's official YouTube channel for free. The cover art was also the same for both versions of this, something that wouldn't change for three more singles until 2005's fairyland. The CD comes with an OBI and a booklet that features lyrics and song credits, as well as a promotional leaflet.

Catalog Number: AVCD-30593/B

[ambidexedition]

my new year's resolution this year is to read a book a week but the one I decided to start with is kinda mid so far...... inauspicious omens

[hellstarstore1]

Hellstar Unveiling the Cosmic Horror of the Universe

In the realm of cosmic horror, few entities evoke as much dread and fascination as Hellstar. This enigmatic figure looms large in both ancient mythologies and modern media, representing the ultimate fear of the unknown. Hellstar embodies the existential terror of a universe that is vast, indifferent, and filled with malevolent forces beyond human comprehension. In this blog post, we will delve into the origins, cultural impact, and enduring allure of Hellstar, exploring why this cosmic horror continues to captivate and terrify audiences worldwide.

Origins of Hellstar

The concept of Hellstar can be traced back to ancient civilizations that gazed at the night sky and saw not just stars, but omens and deities. Early human cultures often imbued celestial bodies with divine or demonic characteristics, interpreting their movements and appearances as messages from the gods. Hell Star Sweater, in many of these traditions, was seen as a harbinger of doom, a celestial being whose presence foretold catastrophe and chaos. In Mesopotamian mythology, for example, there are references to malevolent stars and constellations that were believed to bring misfortune. Similarly, in ancient Chinese astronomy, certain stars were considered inauspicious, often associated with calamities. These early beliefs laid the groundwork for the concept of Hellstar as a cosmic force of evil and destruction.

Hellstar in Modern Media

The modern interpretation of Hellstar owes much to the works of early 20th-century writers like H.P. Lovecraft, who pioneered the genre of cosmic horror. Lovecraft's stories introduced readers to a universe filled with ancient, god-like beings whose very existence posed a threat to human sanity and existence. Hellstar fits neatly into this tradition, embodying the idea that the cosmos is not just indifferent, but actively hostile to humanity. In contemporary literature, Hellstar has been featured in numerous novels and short stories, often as a malevolent force lurking in the depths of space. These narratives typically explore themes of isolation, madness, and the insignificance of humanity in the grand scheme of the universe. The allure of Hellstar lies in its ability to evoke a profound sense of existential dread, reminding us that there are forces in the universe far beyond our control or understanding.

Hellstar in Popular Culture

Beyond literature, Hellstar has made its mark in various forms of popular culture, including movies, television shows, and video games. One notable example is the 2019 film "The Color Out of Space," based on Lovecraft's short story. The film features a malevolent extraterrestrial presence that brings madness and mutation to a rural farm, echoing the themes of cosmic horror associated with Hellstar. In the realm of video games, titles like "Dead Space" and "Bloodborne" have incorporated elements of cosmic horror, with Hellstar-like entities playing central roles in their narratives. These games immerse players in dark, foreboding worlds where the line between reality and madness is blurred, and the threat of cosmic malevolence is ever-present.

Psychological Impact of Hellstar

One of the reasons Hellstar resonates so deeply with audiences is its ability to tap into fundamental human fears. At its core, Hellstar represents the unknown, the unfathomable, and the uncontrollable. These are fears that have been hardwired into the human psyche since our earliest ancestors huddled around campfires, trying to make sense of a world filled with predators and dangers. Hellstar also embodies the fear of our own insignificance. In a universe that is billions of years old and incomprehensibly vast, the idea that we are not the center of creation can be deeply unsettling. Hellstar, as a cosmic horror, forces us to confront the possibility that we are mere specks in an uncaring and hostile universe.

Hellstar and the Future of Cosmic Horror

As we look to the future, it is clear that Hellstar and the broader genre of cosmic horror will continue to evolve. Advances in science and technology, particularly in our understanding of the universe, will undoubtedly inspire new stories and interpretations of Hellstar. As we explore further into space and uncover more of its mysteries, the line between science fiction and horror will blur even further. One potential direction for the evolution of Hellstar is the incorporation of real astronomical phenomena into its mythology. For instance, the concept of rogue planets—planets that drift through space without a parent star—could provide a new twist on the Hellstar legend. These lonely, wandering worlds could be seen as the physical manifestation of Hellstar, bringing destruction wherever they go.

Conclusion

Hellstar stands as a powerful symbol of cosmic horror, embodying the fear of the unknown and the existential dread of our place in the universe. From its ancient origins in human mythology to its modern incarnations in literature and popular culture, Hellstar continues to captivate and terrify audiences. As we continue to explore the cosmos and confront the mysteries it holds, the legend of Hellstar will undoubtedly endure, reminding us of the vast, unfathomable forces that lie beyond our comprehension. In the end, Hellstar serves as a poignant reminder that the universe is not just a place of wonder and discovery, but also a realm of darkness and fear. It is this duality that makes Hellstar such a compelling and enduring figure in the annals of cosmic horror. Whether encountered in the pages of a book, on the screen, or in the depths of our own imaginations, Hellstar will always be there, lurking in the shadows, waiting to remind us of the vast, terrifying unknown.

[caffedrine]

Rio Ortiz Chapter 20 Summary

This is mostly a summary for me - I make no promises on the accuracy of what’s happening. I’m not nearly fluent enough to get half the jokes/innuendo much less accurate plot points.

The heavy rain continued through the night to the morning of Rio’s departure, throwing an inauspicious caste to the day. Ill omens aside, he still must depart, so Rio is finishing preparations in the (upgraded) room assigned to him in the palace.

Despite his old coat being wedged at the bottom of Emma’s closet for three years, it cleaned up nice and still fits despite Rio eating nothing but Rhodolite pastries cuisine for three years. He carelessly shoves the ring box into his jacket pocket and affixes the sword to his waist. Right now, there is no trace of the butler he had been hours ago, instead stands the Third Prince of Benitoite.

Calling Rio ‘Lord Valerio’ Nokto leans casually against Rio’s doorframe and notes that the look suits him. Rio ignores the fact that Nokto had entered his room without bothering to knock and smiles perfectly, noting that it’s still quite early in the morning. Nokto explains that he didn’t have any luck with women the night before, so he couldn’t sleep. To be honest, he’s surprised to find Rio in his room at all.

Rio explains that he decided to use this room to change, he wanted to surprise Emma with his prince’s outfit when she woke up. Nokto asks if that’s his new form of amusement, and Rio enthusiastically tells him that it is amazingly fun.

Nokto gets serious. He was certain during their last conversation that Rio was going to break things off with Emma. Rio agrees, that had been what he was intending back then. Nokto tells him that he’s probably going to regret this. Rio understands, but when he imagines Emma with someone else, he thinks he’ll regret it more. Nokto tells him that it’s not so bad if he thinks of Emma having a happy future. Rio explains that he used to think that no matter who Emma chose, even if it was one of the Rhodolite Princes, he could be happy as long as she was happy. But in the end, he is a terrible, greedy, selfish person. When he found out that he was the one Emma loved, he wanted to be the one who would make her happy.

Nokto notes that humans are selfish creatures, they can only endure so much. It sounds nice on paper to live for the happiness of others, but in reality, it is a terrible way to live. Rio has as much right to a happy life as the one he loves. It’s not like it’s a crime to try to have a future with Emma.

Rio knows that this isn’t the only reason Nokto is here. Nokto explains that he came as a member of the foreign faction to ask for Rio’s opinion. He wants to discuss the letter from the King of Benitoite.

Rio has no doubt that the letter is genuine. It makes sense, the King of Benitoite has heard that his son, who has been missing for three years, is alive and in Rhodolite. It’s natural to recall him and debrief him at the very least. Even if there was nothing suspicious going on, this would have happened. It’s just that the timing is a bit too malicious for there not to be another reason.

Rio is expected to leave today in a carriage under Benitoite escort. Normally, since he was poisoned at the embassy, it would be reasonable to ask Rhodolite for an escort, but none has been requested. Perhaps the King was never notified of the incident.

 Nokto thinks that if the king was not informed, then everyone at the embassy was silenced about the incident. There are very few people who would be able to do it, but two of them are in Rhodolite. Rio isn’t sure if it is just one or both of his brothers conspiring together against him. But now he’s certain that whatever is coming, a Rhodolite escort will make it difficult to pull off. Rio wonders if he’s going to have a second carriage accident.

Nokto asks if, after deducing all of that, Rio is still planning on leaving without a Rhodolite escort. Rio explains that this is an opportunity for him. Three years ago, he had a carriage accident and only survived due to luck and Emma. Now that he’s anticipating the same scenario, he can use it as an opportunity to gather more information and stop these murder attempts.

Nokto asks if Rio is really betting that the culprit will reveal themselves. Rio is, and this time he knows what evidence to look for before the culprit can erase it. Besides, Emma loves the stories where a prince overcomes hurdles and rides back on a white horse to return to the princess.

Nokto is sure he doesn’t know about Emma’s taste in books.

In any case, as long as there is someone actively plotting to kill Rio, Emma will get hurt in the crossfire. The only way he can move forward is to get rid of the culprit before bringing Emma into harm’s way. Either he will succeed and be able to come back for Emma, or he will fail, and hopefully, his death will protect Emma.

Nokto sees something in Rio’s eyes that worries him. It’s a single-minded determination from someone willing to gamble with their own life. Nokto acknowledges that Rio is thinking about things far into the future. He’s the scheming type of person.

Rio thanks Nokto for the compliment and asks about the search for Jingle-Jangles.  Nokto complains that the entire castle would rather risk a major diplomatic incident rather than call Silvio by his actual name. In any case, Silvio is a prime example of the power of money – he can’t find any leads.

Rio admits that he also is coming up with nothing. He can’t track Silvio’s movements at all and is trying to come up with a reason why Silvio disappeared in the first place. Silvio doesn’t seem to be the type of person to disappear just because he’s trying to kill someone. Ignoring the murder attempts, while Silvio is gone, his position worsens.

Nokto reminds Rio that everyone in Benitoite, including the King, seems to think that Silvio is actively trying to kill him. It’s legally forbidden to kill one’s relatives, but it happens quite often. Since Silvio is aiming for the throne, he can’t do something openly illegal. Rio agrees, if anything it seems like Silvio is intentionally putting himself in a corner. There is no sense in what Silvio is doing.

Unfortunately, this is as far as they’ve gotten on the Silvio front. Nokto reports that Clavis is continuing to pursue leads and investigate Silvio. If Nokto hears anything, he will be certain to pass it along to Rio. Meanwhile, Rio will just have to owe him one.

Nokto shakes Rio’s hand and tells him that he and Silvio often make profitable deals together. He now has high hopes for Rio as well.

Emma wakes up to the heavy rain and is relieved that it is still dark out. When she looks around, she is greeted by Rio, no longer in his butler clothes. Emma admires him, telling him he looks better than any fairytale prince she’s read about. Rio laughs happily and kneels before her, taking her hand and kissing it.

Emma admits that she doesn’t know how to react to this. Mischievously, Rio nips at her fingertips, then swipes at them with his tongue. He lets go and stands, and Emma realizes that he’s holding something behind his back.

It’s a present from Rio to Emma, a stuffed toy beagle. Since they won’t be able to see each other for some time, he hopes that its presence by her side will keep her company. The color of the fur, the color of the eyes, and the butler uniform are all reminiscent of Rio. Emma can’t help but laugh in delight.

Rio shows her the other stuffed toy, the one he is keeping. It’s a cute bunny with droopy ears, with the same coloring as Emma’s hair and eyes. Rio admits that he bought it in town a while ago because it reminded him of Emma. Emma fails to see the resemblance, and wonders if this is what Rio means when he calls her cute. Maybe what Emma sees in the mirror is different from what Rio sees when he looks at her.

Emma thanks Rio, who then picks up the dog and presses it to her mouth. He tells her that he won’t be upset if she needs to kiss it from time to time. Emma asks if he’s already planning on doing that with the stuffed bunny. Rio laughs and does not answer.

Rio tells Emma that when they meet again, he will have regained his memory. That is the reason why he’s going to Benitoite at all. Emma understands, even though they had spoken to the bookstore owner, and had gone over Rio’s possessions, Rio’s memory never returned. In Benitoite, there must be more clues and opportunities for Rio to remember the past.

Rio tells Emma that this is also an opportunity for her. She has the chance to think about their future together, and if she really wants to choose him to be with.

It’s not fair after all they’ve been through to ask this of her again, but Rio tells Emma that she needs to decide if this life with him will make her happy. Emma tells him that she feels the same way, her focus is on whether or not Rio can be happy.

Back when she saw Rio’s face, she wondered if the road ahead would be covered in roses or in thorns. In the end, it doesn’t really matter to her, she will carry on no matter what wounds she gets. Emma tells Rio that she’ll figure out what will happen after she finishes her duties as Belle, and what their life would look like. Rio tells her that he’s not sure he can let her go, no matter what her answer is.

He kisses her goodbye, to the sound of pouring rain.

It’s a weird parallel to the day they first met. It feels like a bad omen, though it could be that the heavy rain reminds her of Rio, wounded and dying on the ground. Maybe Emma is just thinking about this too much. She tells Rio to be careful, and he smiles as bright as the sun.

After Rio leaves the castle, Emma spends time with the domestic and foreign factions and reads Rio’s love letter in between meetings.

The rose marking the time she has as Belle was removed from the throne room during Emidio’s visit, and now sits in Sariel’s office. Later that day, Emma is informed that there are only three petals left, but she’s not worried since she has already decided on the next king. Her life in the castle will end soon, and then she can focus on her personal problems.

On her way to the library, Gilbert, who she has managed to avoid for most of her time in the castle, stops her. Gilbert’s smile is gentle and refreshing, and Emma doesn’t sense any hostility in his blood-colored eye.

Gilbert tells her that very recently, servants carried a large package into her room. He was curious and asked them about it and found out that it was a gift from the Benitoite Prince. Gilbert doesn’t say anything else, and his shoulders shake. Emma realizes that he’s laughing and wonders what the joke is. He asks if she’s going back to her room soon and makes a point to tell her that he is always kind to his friends, all while laughing.

With those ambiguous words, Gilbert leaves and Emma decides to go back to her room.

In her room, just as Gilbert had said, there was a large box. Full of curiosity, Emma reaches out to untie the ribbon, but before she can reach it, the box opens on its own.

Silvio climbs out of the box, complaining that it took her forever to return to her room. What does Emma get up all day long? The crime of making him wait for her in this fucking cramped box is heavy, and he wants his vengeance now. Emma belatedly screams, and Silvio shouts at her to be quiet before clamping a hand over her mouth.

Emma’s mind is in a tizzy, Silvio, who everyone has spent weeks looking for, just climbed out of a gift box in her room. Is this a joke? Is she dreaming? The suffocating feeling of Silvio’s hand on her mouth feels real.

Silvio tells Emma that he has the best news for her. He’s going to use her to kill that motherfucker. Isn’t she grateful?

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

This is a poem I wrote about ten years ago, after learning that the word “Monster” comes from the Latin word for “Omen,” or “Warning” or “Sign,” and was originally used for animals or humans born with extra or missing body parts.

And when I learned that, I had a “light bulb moment:” I realized that monsters are only scary because the people looking at them would rather be ignored by the gods, and go about their lives as if nothing is ever going to change. ... So the monsters are treated like scapegoats, and pushed to the margins of society (under the bed, into the closet, locked in the cellar, all the places where monsters dwell), in the same way a kid will “lose” a note from their teacher on the way home.

As someone born with cerebral palsy, I have all my physical parts, but I’m “missing” the intangible part of “Walking independently on two legs by age two,” and I had a second light bulb moment, realizing that all the ableist policies, public and private, that keep the Disabled on the margins of society, is basically the same superstition about inauspicious births from over two thousand years ago, that just happens to be wrapped up in modern scientific jargon and fancy tech.

And my disability is more a “Them” problem than it is a “Me” problem.

Anyway, that’s what this poem is about. Auto-generated captions, and open captions on screen. And yes, that’s my voice.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Wei Wuxian never had the patience for embroidery, and Jiang Yanli was passable, but preferred cooking. Jiang Cheng found it comforting, stabbing something over and over again, with a better result than breaking training dummies.

1

It started with Jiang Cheng being a sticky child, refusing to leave his jie’s side even when she sat for her embroidery lessons; with him being noisy and troublesome and the teacher just shoving the needle and thread into his hands with a muttered comment about it being good for men to know how to repair their own clothing – as if a future sect leader would ever need to know something like that.

Jiang Cheng quieted down and focused, all hard work and determination to please the way he went about all aspects of his life – he wasn’t a natural talent, in cultivation or swordmanship or even this, but he always tried his best.

His mother covered her mouth with her hand to hide her laughter when he presented her with the results of several weeks’ worth: it was just barely recognizable as the world’s ugliest duck.

“A symbol of loving devotion,” one of her maids said.

“There’s only one, though,” the other maid said. “They’re supposed to be a pair.”

“He’s still young,” Madame Yu said, and then held up a fabric with a vaguely incoherent green-white-pink blob. “And anyway, it’s still better than this – what is this supposed to be again, A-Li?”

“A lotus flower,” Jiang Yanli replied, utterly untroubled by her mother’s criticism.

Madame Yu and her maids studied the fabric for a little while longer, trying to identify a flower inside the knot of threads, helpless expressions on their face.

“A-Cheng is a duck without a partner and A-Li is unrestrained by commonly understood boundaries,” Madame Yu finally said, pinching her nose. “With signs as inauspicious as this…well, at least you still have your father to hold up the world for you.”

“Men care more about cooking skills anyway,” one of her maids said. “And A-Cheng is an heir to a sect: he’ll find himself a lady duck one day. Maybe even a whole set of them.”

“He’d better not find a whole set of them!”

2

There was a small needle on the floor of the hut where the Wen sect had stuffed him away – too small and thin to attack anyone, even if a useless waste with no golden core could muster an attack at all, and so it had been overlooked.

Jiang Cheng held it over the flame of the lamp to sterilize it, and then, with shaking hands, turned it on his own flesh.

He didn’t have a choice – it was that or die bleeding out onto the floor of some closet in the Lotus Pier he’d never even known existed, some of the cuts left by the Wens too deep to be left alone even for a little while, and he didn’t have spiritual energy to encourage the healing process.

Maybe he should just die. What was the point of living? He was a waste, now. Maybe the deep cuts were even meant to be a kindness – a way out of the misery that awaited him, a life of being Wen Chao’s slave, an object of pity and mockery.

Jiang Cheng’s hands might be shaking, but his embroidery was good: he’d kept it up, citing it as good training for precision, a way to improve his dexterity, but in fact it was the only thing that could make his mother smile at him anymore. Sure, she yelled about him wasting time with feminine pursuits when he ought to be cultivating, training, getting stronger, surpassing Wei Wuxian, but when she looked at the little things he made for her, she still smiled, almost as if she couldn’t help herself.

She wouldn’t smile for him any longer. Neither smile nor scolding.

Jiang Cheng would live to see Wei Wuxian take the revenge their parents deserved. He could wait until that was done to die.

3

A regular needle could prick the finger of a cultivator a thousand times before drawing a single drop of blood.

Jiang Cheng’s fingers were covered in bandages, but the new disciples of his Jiang sect had robes embroidered with lotuses, the way they should have, and they need not be ashamed to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the other sects in battle.

It wasn’t a job a sect leader should ever do, but there was no one else to do it; any money had to be spent on supplies, none left over for paying seamstresses to do something impractical, and the few women who joined up expected to be used for their skill at the sword, not the needle.

It was just another thing he had to do with no time to do it – he had to train himself in preparation for battle, teach the new disciples the Jiang sect techniques, make sure they had enough to eat and drink, keep one step ahead of the Wen sect’s forces that sought to destroy them, recruit new sects to join their cause and all of it while searching desperately for Wei Wuxian, who had gone missing.

(Sometimes, in his nightmares, Jiang Cheng wondered if Baoshan Sanren had seen through their mischief, recognized him as someone other than her disciple’s son, and demanded a price be paid for the gift she had given him.)

At least embroidery was something he could do at night when he couldn’t sleep, something productive that wouldn’t disturb the sentries or make anyone worry about him.

Sometimes, Lan Wangji – who had joined him in searching for Wei Wuxian – would come and sit next to him at the early hours of the night, undoubtedly fleeing nightmares of his own. His meditation didn’t bother Jiang Cheng, and as much as he hated to admit it, the company was welcome.

That didn’t stop him from embroidering a small awkward stork on the inside of Lan Wangji’s forehead ribbon the one time the other man had asked him for help fixing it after it’d been cut in battle.

4

“I know Madame Jin probably already got you something better,” Jiang Cheng said, his fingers twisting together – in fact, he hadn’t thought of it at all, not until he reached Lanling and heard the women on the street speculating as to which skilled seamstress had been retained to embroider all the auspicious signs onto the wedding clothing of the Jin sect’s new daughter-in-law.

It hadn’t even occurred to him that they would just buy a set pre-made – wedding clothing was traditionally embroidered by the bride herself, preparations made over the years, and of course the set Jiang Yanli had (with no real motivation or ambition) been working on had gone up in flames along with the Lotus Pier. When she’d come to let him know about Jin Zixuan’s impending proposal, and that she intended to accept, Jiang Cheng had panicked and ordered the silks and thread himself; his sister was passable at embroidery at the best of times, much worse when under pressure or a deadline, and he didn’t want the Jin sect to laugh at her.

He should have realized. What didn’t the Jin sect solve with money?

“As if I would wear anything other than what A-Cheng made for me,” Jiang Yanli said, voice warm as she ran her hands over the red silk he’d brought with him, the golden threads glinting. “It’s beautiful. Your ducks have gotten much better since your first attempt, all those years ago.”

Jiang Cheng covered his face with embarrassment. His mother had kept that stupid hideous duck for years, often just sitting in her pocket alongside regular necessities so that she could pull it out to embarrass him whenever she pleased; it had probably only died when she had.

“I left some undone for you to finish,” he said through his fingers. “I brought the thread…if you want?”

“Of course. A-Cheng will sit by me and make sure I don’t make any mistakes.”

The last pair of ducks ended up crooked, their heads too close together, their beaks at such an odd angle that it almost looked like a smile; they were Jiang Cheng’s favorite ones of all.

5

“For you,” Jiang Cheng said, shoving the box into Wei Wuxian’s arms and ignoring the look of confusion. “For when Hanguang-jun finally decides to live up to his responsibilities.”

“What are you talking about?” Wei Wuxian said blankly. “Why are you even at the Cloud Recesses?”

Jiang Cheng sneered because it was easier than doing anything else. It was the first time he’d seen Wei Wuxian since the events at the Guanyin temple: Wei Wuxian hadn’t come back to the Lotus Pier, not once, even though Jin Ling had tried several times to invite him.

“Am I not allowed, now?” he demanded irritably. “I’m a sect leader; I have a visitor’s token, same as anyone else. Anyway, I have other business to attend to – just take it and be done with it. Don’t make a fuss.”

It was a mistake to say that – as soon as Wei Wuxian realized there was the possibility of a fuss, he couldn’t wait to confront it at once, and disregarded all rules of etiquette to pull open the box right there as they stood, before even Jiang Cheng left.

“Red…?” Wei Wuxian’s eyes went wide. “Jiang Cheng, you got me wedding clothing.”

“Reused ones,” Jiang Cheng said before Wei Wuxian could get too emotional or anything. “The only adjustments were to the size and shape – don’t think too highly of yourself!”

“Sect Leader Jiang is too humble,” Lan Wangji said from the door. “It must have been a great effort to make clothing for a man from the ones your sister wore.”

“Sister…? You – this is what shijie married in?”

Jiang Cheng glared at the immovable Lan Wangji rather than look at Wei Wuxian. “Her marriage was happy,” he said stiffly. “Yes, it was cut short –”

Best not to say by whom.

“– but it was still happy. It’s not meant to be a bad omen or a curse…I thought you’d like it. Not that I expected you’d remember what it looked like, with your memory.”

“Of course I like it!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, hugging the red fabric to his chest. “You made it for shijie, and she finished it, right?”

“I had to add some more fabric to make up for the size difference,” Jiang Cheng said, still refusing to look at him directly. At least Lan Wangji had the good grace to be easy to glare at, that pig who dug up his family’s (lost, dead, resurrected) cabbage. “There are a few more that still need finishing. That way, it’ll have something from all of us – don’t you dare cry at me!”

“I’m not crying! My eyes are watering from laughter at how sentimental you are, that’s all!”

“It is good that we will both have signs of Sect Leader Jiang’s approval with us,” Lan Wangji said mildly.

Wei Wuxian turned to him at once. “Both? What do you have?”

Jiang Cheng was equally confused, and only when Lan Wangji reached up to his forehead ribbon did he remember his fit of pettiness in horror. “Wait, no, don’t – it can’t still be there –”

It was.

Wei Wuxian’s cackles followed him as he fled.

[bookofjin]

Rise of Sixteen States: 301

Li Te declares himself Great General who Garrisons the North.

Elsewhere around this time, Zhang Gui is appointed Inspector of Liangzhou while Liu Yuan gets a new job.

26 January 301 – 13 February 302

(Jin's 1st Year of Yongning)

1st Year of Yongning, Spring, 1st Month, yichou [3 February], the King of Zhao, Lun, usurped the throne.

3rd Month [26 March – 24 April], the General who Pacifies the East, the King of Qi, Jiong, rose with troops to thereby punish Lun, transmitting a call to arms to the provinces and commanderies, and garrisoning at Yandi.

The Great General who Conquers the North, the King of Chengdu, Ying; the Great General who Conquers the West, the King of Hejian, Yong; the King of Changshan, Ai; the Inspector of Yu province, Li Yi; the Inspector of Yan province, Wang Yan; the Commander of the Palace Gentlemen of the South, the Duke of Xinye, Xin; all rose with troops to obey him.

Summer, 4th Month, guihai [1 June], executed the King of Zhao, Lun and others of Lun's faction.

(Li Te)

1st Year of Yongning, Spring, 1st Month [26 January – 24 February], Zhao Xin feared the Imperial Court would chastise him. He dispatched the Senior Clerk Fei Yuan, the Grand Warden of Qianwei, Li Bi and the Controller-Protector Chang Jun to supervise more than ten thousand people to block the northern road, staying at Shiting in Mianzhu. Te covertly collected and gathered, and obtained more than 7 000 people (HYGZ08: more than 700 people). At night he assaulted Yuan's army. Yuan's army's greatly dispersed. Following that, he let lose fire and burnt them, the dead were eight or nine out of ten.

He advanced to attack Chengdu. Xin heard the troops had arrived, he was frightened and afraid and did not know what to do. The Palace Gentleman Chang Mei together Fei Yuan, Li, Bi, Zhang Zheng and others at night cut the gate bar, fled and set out. The civil and military officials altogether scattered. Xin on his own, together with his wife and children, sailed a small boat along the river until Guangdu, and was killed by his subordinate Zhu Zhu.

Xin, courtesy name Heshu, was originally a native of Anhan in Baxi. In his grandfather's generation they accompanied Zhang Lu to move inside, and had his family in Zhao. The King of Zhao, Lun, appreciated him. He was successively Prefect of Chang#'an, Grand Warden of Tianmen and Wuling, and came to preside over the province. His son Bing was in Luo, and also was executed.

Te and Liu arrived at Chengdu, they set the troops loose for a great plunder, murdered the Army-Protectors of the Western Yi, Jiang Fa and Gong Ni, and killed Xin's Senior Clerk (HYGZ: Prefect of Chengdu) Yuan Qia, and the wardens and chiefs set up by Xin. He dispatched his Serrated Gates Wang Lu and Li Ji to go to Luoyang and lay out the circumstances of Xin's crimes.

Earlier, the Inspector of Liang# province, Luo Shang, heard that Xin had rebelled, and petitioned:

Xin is not an outstanding talent, and also the people of Shu do not desire to make chaos, they certainly have nothing in common. The affair in the end will have no success. [We] can plan for the day of his defeat and destruction, and wait.

Emperor Hui following that designated Shang General who Pacifies the West, Acting with the Tally, Nominal Colonel who Protects the Western Yi, and Inspector of Yi province, looking after 1 000 tally guard troops, 2 000 Liang# province troops, and also matched with the Chief Commandant of Shangyong's right-principled section 1 500 people, for a combined 4 500 people. Moved the Grand Warden of Zitong,Xu Jian of Leling, to be Shu commandery, the General who Spreads Fervent, Xin Ran to be Grand Warden of Guanghan. Shang also petitioned to request the Commander of the Serrated Gates, Wang Dun, to enter Shu with 7 000 troops.

Te and others Shang was coming, and was very afraid. He sent his younger brother Xiang# to receive and welcome him on the road, and also offer as tribute precious things. Shang was very pleased, and used Xiang# as Cavalry Controller. Te and Liu then used cattle and wine and alcohol to entertain Shang at Mianzhu.

Wang Dun advised Shang, saying:

Te and others are robbing and plundering thieves from the frontier of Longshang. [We] ought when [we] meet to kill him, and the army will have no later worries.

(HYGZ08: Xin Ran had originally been employed by the King of Zhao, Lun, he was not depended on in turn and had been summoned to return back [?]. He wished to use chastising Xin to gain merit for himself, and also talked to him.) Shang did not accept. Ran previously had been familiar with Te, and following that spoke to him, saying:

When old acquaintances happen on each other, if it is not auspicious, it must be inauspicious.

Te was deeply wary and fearful for himself.

3rdMonth [26 March – 24 April], Shang arrived at the provincial seat. The Qiang of Minshan rebelled at Tianshi Mountain in Du'an. He dispatched Wang Dun to chastise them. [He? They?] killed several thousand people, and greatly took away women and youths as live captives. Dun galloped on a single horse, and was killed by the Qiang.

Soon after there was a tally sent down to Qin and Yong provinces, and all the drifting people who had entered Hanchuan had sent down to them where they were summoning them to return back. The Steering Clerks Feng Gai and Zhang Chang acted as Assistant Officials of Qin and Yong provinces, and supervising relocating back the drifting people. Those who were moved were more than ten thousand families.

But Te's older brother Fu, who was used to remaining behind at their home village, as pretext said he was welcoming his family, and then when he arrived in Shu spoke to Te, saying:

The Central States just now are in chaos, and are not fit to return back to.

Te considered it to be so, and therefore had thoughts of ruling and occupying Ba and Shu.

The Imperial Court for his merit in chastising Zhao Xin, designated Te General who Spreads Domination, ennobled Marquis of Changle district, and Liu as General who Arouses Domination and Marquis of Wuyang.

A letter with the imperial seal was sent down to Yi province, to list and classify those among the drifting people of the Six Commanderies who chastised Xin in cooperation and together with Te, wanting to add to them rewards for their merit. It happened that Xin Ran, since he had been summoned out of turn, did not look into responding to the summons, and also wished to use the wiping out of Xin to gain merit for himself. He therefore slept on the court's instructions, and did not actually send them up. The multitudes all resented it.

Luo Shang dispatched an Assistant Officer to urge on dispatching the drifting people, marking off the 7th Month for going up the roads. Te and others firmly requested, seeking to extend it until the autumn harvest. The drifting people were scattered around in Liang# and Yi, and had been hired by people to work. When they heard the provinces and commanderies were pressuring to dispatch them, everyone were anxious and resentful, and did not know what to do.

Again, when they knew Te and his brothers again and again had requested and sought a delay, everyone were moved and relied on them. Moreover the rains were about to come down, and the year's grain were not yet ripe. The drifting people had nothing to provide for them on the march, and thereupon went with each other to Te.

Te dispatched Yan Shi of Tianshui to frequently go to Shang to seek to loosen the guidance and argue it was opportune to delay until autumn. He also dispatched goods and gifts to Shang and Gai. They allowed it. Reaching autumn, he again sought to extend it until winter. Xin Ran and Li Bi considered it impossible, and certainly wished to relocate them.

Shi made the Separate Carriage Du Tao explain the gains and harms of forcing a relocation. Tao also wished to let go of and disperse the people for one year. Xin Ran and Li Bi considered it impossible, and Shang followed them. Tao delivered his Flowering Talent wood board and set out to return to his family, knowing the reasons for his plans and strategies not being acted on.

At the time there was a white nimbus, the head was in a well village, the tail was in the eastern mountains, and it trailed over the greater city. The Assistant Officer Within the Seat, Ma Xiu of Baxi asked Yan Shi about it, saying:

What omen is this?

Shi said:

The divination tells that below it there is a vapour of ten thousand corpses. Its very closeness to the city is not an auspicious response. Can a Heavenly affliction be disobeyed? If the [General] who Pacifies the West is able to let go of the dispersed people, the calamity will dissolve itself.

Xin Ran was by nature greedy and brutal, he wished to kill the drifting people's heads and leaders, acquire their wealth and goods. He therefore circulated incitements to send them out and dispatch them. He also ordered the Grand Warden of Zitong, Zhang Yan, to arrange for barriers at the various strategic places, and search out and exhort treasure and goods. Ran and Li Bi again declared to Shang:

The drifting people previously during of Xin's chaos very much were unjustly confiscating. [We] ought to take the opportunity with the relocating to build barriers to take away and seize it.

Autumn, 7th Month [21 August – 18 September], Shang sent a document to Zitong, for them there to hold close the barriers.

8th Month [19 September – 18 October], the barriers were all walled up. Li Te dispatched Yan Shi to go to Luo Shang, seeking to stretch out the date. When Shi had arrived, he saw Ran was keeping watch over and palisading the thoroughfares and strategic places, planning to ambush the drifting people. He sighed, and said:

When there are no bandits but there are walls, an enemy must be protecting them. Now he is yet speeding it up, chaos is about to be created.

He also knew that Ran and Li Bi's opinion could not be turn around, and therefore bid farewell to Shang to return back to Mianzhu. Shang spoke to Shi, saying:

You Sir are about to report to the various drifting people my thoughts, [I] am now accepting tolerance.

Shi said:

You, Enlightened Excellency, has been misled by perfidious advise, and [I] fear will have no tolerance and reason. Those who are weak but cannot be taken lightly are the hundred families, and now [you] press them unreasonably. The multitudes' anger is difficult to transgress, [I] fear there will be a disaster of no small depth.

Shang said:

However, I do no deceive you Sir. Sir should go.

Shi arrived at Mianzhu, and talked to Te, saying:

Even though Shuo stated this, he cannot necessarily be trusted, why so? Shang's authority to punish is not established, Ran and others each hold close strong troops, and in a single morning [can] make a mishap. They also are not someone Shang is able to control. [We] really ought to be prepared.

Te accepted it.

9th Month [19 October – 16 November], [Shang?] dispatched an army to Mianzhu, spreading word they were planting wheat, but in truth preparing for them to disperse and flee.

Te sent to Ran seeking extension for himself. Ran was greatly angered, he dispatched people to distribute placards and make public at the crossroads, putting a bounty of a hundred bolts for the heads of Te and Liu. Te saw it, and was greatly afraid. He thoroughly took them and brought them back. Together with Xiang# he changed their bounty to state:

[He who] is able to send off the Six Commanderies' great families, Yan, Zhao, Ren, Yang, Li, and Shangguan, and the marquises and kings of the Di Sou, Liang, Dou, Fu Wei, Dong, Fei, and others, for each heads a hundred bolts.

The drifting people were already unhappy about relocating, and all went to revert to Te. They galloped their horses and collected their quivers, and with a single voice assembled like clouds. Between a ten-day and a month the multitudes exceeded 20 000. Liu also gathered a multitude of several thousands.

Winter, 10th Month [17 November – 16 December], Te and Liu therefore guarded Chizu, and made two camps. Te resided in the eastern camp, and Liu in the eastern camp.

Ran and Bi planned with each other, saying:

Marquis Luo is greedy but makes no decisions, and from day to day the drifting people get to extend their perfidious schemes. Li Te and his brothers all have outstanding talent, we are about to be made captives by nobodies. We ought to make a decisive scheme, and not be satisfied again with asking about it.

They therefore dispatched the Chief Commandant of Guanghan, Zeng Yuan, the Serrated Gates Zhang Xian, and others to covertly lead 30 000 infantry and cavalry to assault Te's camp. Luo Shang heard about it, and likewise dispatched the Controller-Protector Tian Zuo and Serrated Gates Liu Bing to assist Yuan. Te habitually knew about it, he therefore repaired his armour and readied the troops, and warned them strictly to wait for it. Yuan and others arrived. Te calmly laid down and did not move. He waited for half of their multitudes to enter, and then issued out from the ambush to strike them, the killed and wounded were a considerable multitude. Zuo was also defeated.

He murdered Tian Zuo, Zeng Yuan, and Zhang Xian, and transmitted their heads to be shown to Shang and Ran. Shang spoke to his generals and aides, saying:

These miscreants had completely left, but Guanghan did not heed my words and so expanded the thieves' power. Now what should we do about it!

Hence the drifting people of the Six Commanderies pushed forward Te to be their ruler. Te instructed Controller of Private Troops of the Six Commanderies, Li Han, the Prefect of Shanggui, Ren Zang, the Prefect of Shichang, Yan Shi, the Remonstrant Grandee Li Pan, the Prefect of Chencang, Li Wu, the Prefect of Yinping, Li Yuan, the Chief Commandant Commanding Troops Yang Bao, and others to send up a letter, requesting to rely on the old affairs of Liang Tong serving Dou Rong, and push forward Te as Acting Great General who Garrisons the North, to carry on the authority to ennoble and designate, and his younger broth Liu to be Acting General who Garrisons the East, to assist in quelling and governing.

Te and others advanced the troops to attack Ran at Guanghan. Ran's multitudes set out to fight, Te routed them every time. Shang dispatched the Grand Warden of Qianwei, Li Bi, and Senior Clerk Fei Yuan to led a multitude and save Ran, but they dreaded Te and did not dare to advance. Ran put the blame on the Prefect of Mianzhu, Qi Bao of Nan commandery, and beheaded him. Then he broke through the encirclement and ran to Deyang (JS: Jiangyang).

Te entered to occupy Guanghan, and used Li Chao as Grand Warden. He advanced the troops to attack Shang at Chengdu. [Shang] wrote a note of denouncement and accusation to Yan Shi. Shi replied, saying:

Xin Ran pour out swindles. Du Jing [textual error for Zhang Xian?] set forth in madness. Zeng Yuan is a small upstart. Tian Zuo's blood and spirit is not in order. Li Shuping has not the spirit of someone commanding regiments. To chastise exhausted and poor Qiang can be said to be their strong point.

Shi previously was discussing with the Beneath the Tally and Du Jingwen [I.e Du Tao] the propriety of halting and migrating. People hold close their mulberry trees and catalpa trees, who do not wish for them? Moreover, formerly when they began to arrive, following the grain to work for hire, a single family would be divided in five. Then they were faced with torrential rain. They begged to wait for the winter harvest, and yet they were not heard. Certainly a destitute deer will defy a tiger.

Moreover [I] fear with the great excesses of the measures, the dispersed people will not willingly extend their necks and accept the blade, and perhaps the troubles will be later. Had [you] listened to Yan's words, and released them to make arrangements, it would not have gone past the 9th Month before they were fully assembled, on the 10th Month advanced on the road, and by now reached their home villages. Why would it have to be like this?

[You] courteously listened but did investigate, and empathized with others' excessive words. Now Xin Ran is an absconded slave, Shuping excels at hiding, [your] branches are divided and [your] might unravelled, affairs are gradually catching up with yourself. It is what is spoken of as not being aware of bending the smoke-hole and keeping distant the firewood, and having your guests be burnt by them.

(JS: Yan Shi conveyed a letter to Shang, calling him to account for his trust in and usage of slanderous plots, and wish for chastising the drifting people. He also put forth how Te and his brothers had established merit on behalf of the kingly house by soothing the lands of Yi.)

Shang looked at the letter, and understood Te and others were about to have great aspirations, he walled up the city and strengthen the defences, and sought help from Liang# and Ning provinces.

Te declared himself Envoy Holding the Tally, Great Commander-in-Chief, Great General who Garrisons the North (HYGZ: and [Inspector of] Yi province), to carry on the authority to ennoble and designate alone, relying on the former affairs of Dou Rong in Hexi. Liu became Great General who Garrisons the East. Their older brother Fu became General of Agile Cavalry, their younger brother Xiang# General of Valiant Cavalry, Te's oldest son Shi became General of Martial Domination, his second son Dang became General of the Garrison Army, his youngest son Xiong became General of the Van, Li Han became Colonel of the Western Yi, Han's sons Guo and Li, Ren Hui, Li Gong, Shangguan Jing, Li Pan, Fei Tuo (HYGZ: Fei Ta) and others became generals and leaders, Ren Zang of Tianshui, Shangguan Dun, Yang Bao, HYGZ: Yang Fa, Yang Gui, Wang Da, Qu Xin and others became claws and teeth, Li Yuan of Yinping, Li Bo of Wudu, Xi Bin of Lüeyang, Yan Cheng, Shangguan Qi, Li Tao, Wang Huai and others became staff members, Yan Shi became master of plans, He Ju and Zhao Su became belly and heart.

At the time Luo Shang was greedy and ruthless, and was a worry of the hundred families. Yet Te gave the people of Shu a moderate law in three chapters, gave alms and relieved debt, was courteous to the worthy and raised up the blocked, and his army and government were respectful. The hundred families made a song about it:

Li Te is still allowable, Luo Shang kills us.

Shang led his people to fully cross the Pi River and southward, blocking a long circumference and building camps hemming the river, from Du'an until Qianwei, 700 li. Te and others guarded Guanghan.

Yongning era (301 – 302)

(Liu Yuan)

The King of Chengdu, Ying, was headquartered at Ye. Beginning of Yongning [301 – 302], he petitioned for Liu Yuan to act as General who Soothes the Boreal and Overseer of the Army Affairs of the Five Sections.

(Murong Hui)

Middle of Yongning [301 – 302], Yan was on the brink of great floods. Murong Hui opened the granaries to relieve and provide, and You region obtained help. The Son of Heaven heard and praised him, and as commendation bestowed award clothes.

(Zhang Gui)

Zhang Gui considered the time was on the brink of many difficulties, and secretly plotted to guard and occupy Hexi, and pursue the former affairs of Dou Rong. He cast the diving slips and got Contentment and Surview. He therefore threw the slips and joyfully said:

The omens of a hegemon.

He then sought to become [Inspector] of Liang province. The excellencies and dignitaries also recommended Gui as talented and capable of steering far-away lands.

Beginning of Yongning [301 – 302], he set out to be Holding the Tally, Colonel who Protects the Qiang, and Inspector of Liang province.

At that time the Xianbei turn to rebellion, and robbed and stole everywhere. When Gui arrived in the province he promptly chastised and routed them, the cut off heads numbered more than ten thousand. Thereupon his domination was evident in the western provinces, and is reforms acted on in Heyou. He gave lessons in farming mulberry trees, and pulled up the worthy and talented.

He used Song Pei, Yin Chong, Fan Yuan and Yin Dan as thighs and forearms, and masters of planning. He summoned the head sons, 500 people, and established schools to teach them. He started to set up Libationers of Revering Culture, their ranks were treated as Separate Carriages. Spring and autumn they acted out the rites of district archery meetings.

The Overseer of the Private Writers, Mou Shizheng, and the Junior Treasurer Zhi Yu at night observed the star constellations. They talked to each other and said:

Under Heaven is just now in chaos, of states that are avoiding the difficulties there is just the lands of Liang, and that is all. Zhang of Liang province's virtue and capacity are not ordinary, he is likely that person.

[quillyfied]

Mega Good Omens Fic Rec Post 2

Part 2 is here!

99 titles this time because I have no self-control, once again separated into different categories: Jaunts through History/Canon, South Downs, Post-Apocalypse, Bus Ride/Night Before/Heaven and Hell, AU/UA, Soft, Before (a new category exclusive to this list, about Heaven before and during the War), Touch-Starved/Body Worship/Wings, Bonus, and H/C /Whump/BAMF. Warnings for gore and explicit material present where applicable.

Enjoy these as I have, because they’re all worth savoring!

Mega GOmens Fic Rec Post MASTER

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF A LINK IS BROKEN OR IF I MISATTRIBUTED SOMETHING.

JAUNTS THROUGH HISTORY/CANON

1. Paperwork – Mirach (T, the one where Aziraphale is filling out forms for a new corporation and is idly flashing back to the reasons for his discorporation. It has a lot to do with Crowley. This one is so sweet and heartfelt, and also has a surprise at the end that gave me a good chuckle.)

2. A Dozen Red Roses for My Darling – @raiining (G, the one where Crowley finds himself in a bit of a pickle while doing a miracle for Aziraphale. This one has the funniest summary and I don’t even know why it’s so funny to me. It’s even better that it’s a Regency story, and the underlying tension between Crowley and Aziraphale is so good. Simple and sweet.)

3. When the lights go out (run away with me) – strawberriesandtophats (T, the one where Nanny Ashtoreth and Brother Francis skip out for the night. Has a gorgeous little rendezvous between the two of them, and a wonderful second chapter where they find Warlock again. Entirely too beautiful. All the emotions.)

4. older now, and the light is dim – WISHBONE (NR, the one where Aziraphale walks in on Crowley holding baby Warlock and both he and my heart go entirely to pieces. Based on that one gingerhaole fanart, it captures the quiet tenderness of the art perfectly, and then beyond—Crowley goes a little protective at one point and then Aziraphale is introspective and it’s GOOD.)

5.  It begins, as it will end, in a garden – @tenoko1 (G, the one where it’s the cold open but with a recurring theme of flowers woven in. This one has fluctuating gender presentations and Crowley and Aziraphale discorporating each other and one utterly perfect moment where Aziraphale tries to kill Crowley and can’t make herself do it, and it is all Too Soft and Too Beautiful for words.)

6. A House in the Country – @theoldaquarian (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale take a vacation in an abandoned house in the Lake District for a summer. It’s beautiful and there’s pining and there might be thirty-six rooms in this place but it’s nicer to spend time together, dangit. Understated and quiet and perfect.)

7. The Gospel of Crowley – gutterandthestars (T, the one where Crowley gets on with tempting Christ and in true Crowley fashion it backfires on him. Jesus has the BEST characterization, he and Crowley have wonderful banter, and the whole thing is poignant and hilarious. Loved it from start to finish.)

8. build me a city, call it jerusalem – @gyzym (T, the one where Crowley considers Right and Wrong. Book-verse. Jumps around in history and is one of those really esoteric, artistic pieces that makes you stop and think about what you just read. Absolutely gorgeous.)

9. Solitarius – @popcornpowergoddess (G, the one where Crowley blesses an old cottage and is sad. This one blew my mind when I read the author is fifteen, because WOW they are going places if they’re already this good. The work is heartbreaking and a little funny and so, so visually appealing. A real treat for the brain.)

10. Sawdust of Words – @aethelflaedladyofmercia (G and T, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship and the Ineffable Plan get looked at from another angle. This series is already gonna rip me to pieces—Early Days had the most gorgeous and DIFFERENT storyline for Aziraphale post-Adam and Eve getting cast out, and it has him and Crowley actually arguing and being contentious at first in their relationship, it’s so good, especially when they start to try and work it out. Obedience hurt me in ways I did not ask for. The stories jump around in the timeline and it’s all so GOOD, I’m READY for more!)

11. An Angel who did not so much Fall In Love as Settle Into It Gradually – @theladyzephyr (G, the one where it’s exactly what it says on the tin. Jumps through history and has precious tender moments and less-than-tender moments all jumbled up in there, you can really feel with Aziraphale where he starts to lose the fight against his feelings. Just fantastic.)

12. Inauspicious (But Not Impossible) – @thetunewillcome (M, the one where there’s a kiss in 1945 and immediate consequences, and Aziraphale contemplates Romeo and Juliet. IMO doesn’t deserve the M rating, the kissing and the snogging are both pretty innocuous. The pining is real and delicious and painful, and the ways Heaven and Hell choose to remind their agents of what happens to traitors is Awful. Nothing gory, just sad. But it ends so much happier.)

13. and you can say that my hair’s a disgrace – @phoenix-soar (T, the one that’s an ode to Crowley’s hair throughout the years, and excuses for Aziraphale to touch it. Intimate, romantic, intensely emotional, just a real treat of a fic. Aziraphale loves Crowley and his hair so much.)

14. As Yearning Lips to Unyielding Stone – SanSanFanFan (G, the one where Crowley gets maudlin over a statue that looks like Aziraphale. Oh my gosh, you guys. You guys, the PINING. The YEARNING. The LONGING. It’s exquisite and painful and a work of art in and of itself. I have a soft spot for period fics, especially Italian Renaissance, for some reason, and THIS is one of the best.)

15. What’s Done In the Dark – @charmingpplincardigans (T, the one where Crowley literally glows with love and HOLY CRAP ON A STICK, Y’ALL, this one is an epic. It’s as much a story about growth as it is about love, and it’s so, so satisfying to watch Crowley go through this journey. I don’t have the words, just know that it’s one of those fics you can’t pass up. A+++++++)

16. Hot Days, Mad Blood – noodlefrog (T, the one where Aziraphale teaches Crowley how to duel, or he will in future chapters. This is a brand-spanking-new one that is gonna be so much fun to watch update. Italian Renaissance! Swordplay! Crowley being a smitten idiot! Aziraphale being competent! It’s gonna be so good y’all.)

SOUTH DOWNS

17. make your good love known to me (or just tell me about your day) – Sky_Stars_Sea (G, the one where Crowley is adjusting to living with Aziraphale. Has a beautiful sensory experience running throughout, and Crowley being so vulnerable it physically hurts. Beautiful, beautiful story.)

18. The Cottage at the End of the Lane – Angelina_Aintithenniel (T, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale have to defend what’s theirs. I have never screamed at my computer so much while reading a fic series, mostly along the lines of “LEAVE THEM AND THEIR HOUSE ALONE,” because this series is the Madoka Magica of fics: cute and fluffy casing, unexpectedly wild, angsty, action-packed innards. I adore this whole series. It makes me FEEL things.)

19. in my darkness I remember – @anthxnyjcrxwley (T, the one where it’s a soft, quiet night in the South Downs. A straight shot of fluff right to the heart, friendos, nothing more, nothing less. Stuff a mattress with this fic and say goodbye to any and all worldy pains.)

20. there’s no kingdom to come – killingthemoon (T, the one where Crowley slips off to fix up the cottage before springing it on Aziraphale. Tender, sweet, has a gorgeous ending scene that’s lots of fun and lots of shouting at the sky.)

21. A Heaven More Like This – miladyshakespeare (T, the one where it’s a Welsh cottage this time, cycling through a year. Such a beautiful piece of longing and uncertainty as Crowley and Aziraphale circle each other, a lot of quiet themes about letting yourself be cared for and letting yourself care, and also there’s a cat.)

22. The Legend of Devil’s Dyke – @sameoldsorceress (M, the one that’s a retelling of a popular South Downs local legend. Not sure at all why this one is rated M but it might be the gratuitous use of the word “cocks”, though in context it’s not filthy at all. This one is FUN, y’all, and I agree with the sentiment of the Tumblr post that inspired the fic, there need to be more fics featuring local South Downs legends.)

POST-APOCALYPSE

23. Slow – @theirdarkreturning (T, the one where the Antichrist makes some assumptions when he puts the world back together. Scores points for being very Jewish and playing right into the classic nigh-Shakespearean trope of miscommunication. Hilarious and sweet also the one where God signs the marriage certificate.)

24. Binary Stars – samael_the_scrivener (T, the one where Crowley has an emotional breakdown and Aziraphale does his best to make it right. Heavily emotional and angsty, nearly had me in tears right along with Crowley, and Aziraphale’s portion doesn’t back down from the tone, they have to fight tooth and nail through the emotional blockage to get to understanding and it’s positively sublime.)

25. If We’ve Got Nothing (We’ve Got Us) – @kedreeva (G, the one where everyone ends up where they’re meant to be. A gorgeous story about found family and working through differences and—eventually—God’s Ineffable Plan possibly coming to full fruition. I don’t wanna spoil too much, it’s best experienced blind.)

26. The Ludicrous and Many Disasters of Mister A.Z. Fell, Houseplant – @souljellied (T, the one where it is also exactly what it says on the tin and is exactly as ridiculous as you’d hope. With an unexpected but not unwelcome dash of angst, to boot. Crowley doesn’t take too well to being unable to immediately find Aziraphale, after all. Aziraphale is mostly wondering how to get out of this mess.)

27. In the (Second) Beginning – cherryfeather (M, the one where they have an inevitable conversation after the Ritz. Doesn’t really need the M rating since the smooching is intense but not graphic, and has the single greatest scene of Aziraphale reminding Crowley he’s a sensualist of ALL TIME. Fabulous work, very formative for me tbh.)

28. all I need, darling, is a life in your shape – @mortuarybees (G, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley need some convincing in the form of their well-meaning friends putting them in a room with one bed. The pining is delicious and piping hot, friends, and then suddenly oh my GoSatSomebody, they were roommates. A great little number with a beautiful confession scene.)

29. corrections – @0nelater (T, the one where Crowley is having a slow, melting come-apart about his feelings. Lots of Crowley being, in his own words, a basket case, and having a fundamental misunderstanding of how angels sensing love works, and how those two concepts are resolved. Has beautiful color symbolism and fun meta throughout.)

30. dearly beloved – @dissatisfied-starlight (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale get married, despite the universe’s best efforts, it seems. Hilarious and sweet and surprising! Not to spoil anything, but also has the best Beelzebub characterization as a nice little cherry on top.)

31. A Buried and Burning Flame – Lissomedi (G, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale visit an art museum and happen upon a disturbingly accurate and intimate depiction of themselves. Lots of Crowley pining and then being miserable, lots of Aziraphale being confused and then exasperated. So cute and sweet.)

32. The Long Game – sir_not_appearing_in_this_archive (G, the one that’s an adventure romp with proper twists and pining and saving the world. I love the spirit of this one, and the various inconveniences the cast have to overcome to stay out of Heaven and Hell’s radar. The building action right before the climax of the plot is heart-stopping, and the resolution is suitably satisfying. Was a fun way to spend a late night, for sure.)

33. in which labels are finnicky things – REVVIII (T, the one where Aziraphale is trying to figure out the perimeters of their relationship post-Apocalypse. He tries so hard, does his research, but honestly, nothing is gonna do it like talking to Crowley about it openly, which is, of course, not his first course of action. Very cute, especially when he’s trying to suss out what friends with benefits are.)

BUS RIDE/NIGHT BEFORE/HEAVEN AND HELL

34. if you wanna be alone, come with me – mygalfriday (G, the one where they can’t even make it into Crowley’s flat before it all comes spilling out. Short and sweet shot of fluff, just a perfect little sip of serotonin.)

35. The Things We Did and Didn’t Do – @dietraumerei (G, the one where they finally get their act together and defeat Heaven and Hell with the power of LOVE. Such tender, very emotion. Wow.)

36. Too Generous – rfsmiley (T, the one where That One Line, you know the one, from Pride and Prejudice serves as the inspiration. There’s some sneaky shirt-opening and it’s both hot and kinda funny. The very definition of “enthusiastic consent.”)

37. Exit Interview – Pygmy Puff (G, the one where Crowley has to survive a round of paperwork in order to get out of Heaven in Aziraphale’s body. This one went in a completely unexpected direction. I was ready for a humorous romp through Heaven’s bureaucracy. I got so much more than I was bargaining for. Read it, it’s ridiculous in all the best ways and surprisingly dangerous.)

AU/UA

38. An Honest Surrender – @kedreeva (T, the one where their plan to fool Heaven and Hell is a little different. Y’all might already know this one as the Angel Marriage fic, but for those who don’t, imagine “marriage” as we know it and then throw that concept out the window, because what happens is too weird and beautiful for words. My words, anyway.)

39. Mr. Fell – @amarguerite (T, the one that’s a reverse AU where Aziraphale is a Victorian dandy frat boy party-thrower who used to date Satan and talks about it constantly, and Crowley is Heaven’s perfect little soldier and all the PTSD that comes with. Tons of heart and originality already, though it’s still early in the fic, and a truly special dynamic between Aziraphale and Crowley. Also Aziraphale accidentally causes Original Sin by inventing brunch and if that doesn’t get you to read, nothing will.)

40. Keep Getting Stranger (I Do) – @callipygiangoldfish (T, the one that’s a Howl’s Moving Castle AU, patterned more after the book than the movie. It’s a wonderful little adventure about accepting yourself and the side-dish of falling in love is SCRUMPTIOUS.)

41. By the Light of My Stars – @theladydrgn (T, the one where Crowley was Raphael and in love with Aziraphale and that bit doesn’t change, at least. Has probably my favorite tag used in any fic ever of all time, I’ll see if you can spot it. Protective Crowley for MILES and MILES in this one, what he does to a demon that threatens Aziraphale is pure poetry. Going in a promising direction for sure!)

42. flammam gladii hinc – @wildenessat221b (G, the series where Crowley was Raphael and wiped Aziraphale’s memory to protect him. Has the BEST backstory for the flaming sword, of all things, and a bittersweet story throughout. Told in terms of [redacted] so it’s got a bit of mystery to it but not much. Somehow that makes it sadder.)

43. Bring Out Your Dead – metallic_sweet (T, the one where Crowley is Raphael and a healer no matter what Heaven tries to get him to do. A reverse AU where Aziraphale is a shark, of all things, and a warrior with a supernaturally bad sense of direction trying his best. It’s a refreshing change of pace in both reverse AUs and Raphael AUs; Crowley is still gruff and Aziraphale is still sweet and it’s perfect.)

44. Something to do with these sacred words – @thehumantrampoline (T, the one where Crowley confesses early and often. It’s both lovely and sad, in a way, for Crowley to be so open about his feelings so much without Aziraphale doing much about it besides panic internally, but the ending is sweet, very much so.)

45. reckless and wild and stricken – @weatheredlaw (T, the one where Armageddon happens again and this time it’s a true post-apocalyptic nightmare scenario. Weatheredlaw is famous for having fics that just tear at the heartstrings, and this one’s no different. It’s tender and it’s sad and it’s desperate and it HAUNTS ME.)

46. A price to pay – @aerococonut (T, the one where performing miracles costs Crowley something. A lovely look at the technicalities of Crowley—and Aziraphale, mind—doing something they aren’t made for, and the ways it changes them. Fans of fics about chronic pain, this is the one.)

47. Soulmates – GoodandIneffable (G, the one where your lies put marks on your soulmate’s body, and Aziraphale and Crowley are soulmates. This is one I wish had at least a 3k-word expansion, because the concept is gorgeous and Crowley’s realization at what it truly means to be Aziraphale’s soulmate is staggering. Short, but worth it.)

48. i love(d) you – extraordinarilyextreme (G, the one that’s a Star Wars AU and it WRECKED ME. Force-bonds, love, betrayal, forgiveness, AUGH. It’s too much. I love it. Also Padawans Warlock and Adam ftw.)

49. The Book of Aziraphale – @gigglesnortbangdead (T, the one where Aziraphale wrote poetry he never intended to make public, and naturally it goes public. This had the potential to be silly or sweet and wound up directly in poignant instead; Aziraphale takes a decidedly self-loathing approach with a lot of his poetry and it’s amazing to watch him work through his feelings about himself and about Crowley.)

50. Of Celestial Sonnets and Pitiable Poets – trieduntrue (T, the one where Crowley wrote poetry he never intended to make public and then Hell finds it. So naturally, to save his skin, he has it printed and distributed under the guise of “spreading sin.” Then he writes and publishes a second one completely drunk. This one is pure silliness and Crowley schadenfreude; it really plays up the beloved device of “everything Crowley does backfires on him somehow” in the most lighthearted way.)

51. The Healer and the Lover – Nnm (T and G, the series where Aziraphale’s name means “of Raphael” and that’s who Crowley used to be, and there’s a lot of complicated feelings involved. Really emotionally complex and interesting take on the Raphael AU, one I’ve come back to a lot because it’s so compelling.)

52. Tracing The Stars On Your Skin – PunJedi (T, the one where Crowley’s freckles used to be stars. Achingly sweet and sad, goes through each constellation Crowley made and has a story for it. The end is just gorgeous, really emotional and sweet.)

53. On the Matter of Touch – @somedrunkpirate (T, the one where Aziraphale is flooded with the emotions of the ones he touches, and Crowley is a touch-starved lovesick sad sap. Incredibly tender and emotional, lots about boundaries and communication and the Mortifying Ordeal of letting yourself care and be cared for.)

SOFT

54. keep me close – @saints-and-demons-preserve-us (G, the one where Aziraphale accidentally discovers that Crowley does local theatre. It’s so funny and sweet and full of longing and excellent Broadway tunes, and also Aziraphale is The Most Awkward and it’s gratifying af.)

55. i keep a window for you (it’s always open) – @campgender (T, the one where they quote Romeo and Juliet a lot. It’s beautiful and romantic and Shakespeare always deserves appreciation. The lines that are picked out are especially gorgeous in the context of the fic.)

56. Hunter’s Heart, Hunter’s Mouth – kashiichan (T, the series where Aziraphale romances Crowley with poetry. I’m new here so I don’t quite understand the Gomens fandom’s immortal love of Richard Siken, but I can darn well appreciate good poetry, especially when it’s couched in tender touches and overwhelming feels.)

57. Fools in Love – @theres-a-goldensky (T and M, the series where this is absolutely true. The first is a frankly hilarious jaunt at Aziraphale trying different hobbies and dragging Crowley into them, the second is Aziraphale not realizing he’s projecting his own longing for Crowley onto everyone around him and then getting jealous of his own warped perceptions. M rating is more for lascivious intent and verbiage than actual smut, and what an intent it is XD)

58. To Trust in One Another – bluespring864 (T, the one where Aziraphale is haunted by something insensitive he once said to Crowley. Do you enjoy pining that builds until it breaks every dam in the universe? Do you enjoy self-flagellating for something dumb you said once? Welcome to paradise, friends, a sweet, adorable paradise.)

59. Best Not To Dwell On It – @saaliyah (G, the one where they make out in a linen closet sometime in the early 1800s. Short, simple, sweet, and making out in a linen closet, what more do you thirsty lovies need XD)

60. Something So Precious – @freyjawriter24 (G, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley are adopted by two separate groups of old ladies who take it upon themselves to matchmake, as groups of old ladies are wont to do. Too adorable for words, will cause literal discorporation.)

61. Birds of a Feather – @idiopathicsmile (T, the one where Aziraphale is nesting and Crowley doesn’t get it. Another one of those classic miscommunication fics where everything is awful until they finally get on the same page, and then it’s wonderful. Also the thought of Aziraphale in particular feathering his nest with things he and Crowley both like is the sweetest mental image of all time.)

62. Just Hold On Tight – @books-n-bentleys (G, the one where communication is key to every relationship. Love languages are a thing and making sure you and your partner come to an understanding about them is important; see this fic for why this is a really good idea. Because every relationship deserves tenderness and understanding and the correct level of schmoop.)

63. Braving Those Angry Skies – ladymerlot (T, the one where Crowley nearly kills himself saving Aziraphale from Nazis. Crowley is so perfectly in character throughout it’s almost funny even when it isn’t (maybe especially when it isn’t). A prime example of my favorite Gomens fic trope to date. I know I don’t have a lot of variance in my adjectives but you guys TENDER. ROMANTIC. SWEET. IT’S ALL OF THEM.)

64. Moral Arguments – WhiteQueenWrites (T, the one where Crowley and the gang help a woman get revenge on her truly horrible ex. This one is FUN, there’s no other way to say it. It’s cathartic and satisfying and is one of those fics I wish was a cheesy movie I could watch while eating disgusting amounts of popcorn.)

65. get religion quick (cause you’re looking divine) – @brinnanza (G, the one where Aziraphale is convinced Crowley doesn’t love him back and it’s fine. Cute and emotional and must absolutely be read with its counterpart below. This one first, that’s why it’s listed first; they aren’t related in the way that they’re the same scene from different perspectives, they’re just similar situations with the roles swapped, and it’s so worth reading, these idiots I swear 2 Someone.)

66. you play with my feelings (right from the start) – @penrosesun (G, the one where Crowley is convinced Aziraphale doesn’t love him back and it’s fine. Hilarious and emotional and must absolutely be read with its counterpart above. Really illustrates how two smart people can completely miss the point for THOUSANDS OF YEARS.)

67. Worth Any Price – @sameoldsorceress (T, the one where Crowley sets up a kissing booth. You guys I was ready for fun shenanigans involving Crowley kissing the general public and maybe Aziraphale getting a little bothered under the collar. I was not expecting the FEELS. The PLOT. The UNEXPECTED PUNCH TO THE GUT. Absolutely an underrated treasure in this fandom, needs to be talked of often.)

68. Bodies of Change – @dietraumerei (G, the one where Aziraphale has new clothes. This one plays right into my Fashion itch and it’s wonderful and body-positive and so, so sweet. Crowley is so smitten with his angel.)

69. i did not know ‘twas love i gave – miribees (T, the one where Aziraphale makes Crowley a mixtape. This one is unexpectedly bittersweet and tender, with Crowley and Aziraphale in a fight for a good chunk of the fic, but it’s the apology and the making up that’s sweetest, of course.)

70. World Cold, Aziraphale Warm – maddiemaynot (NR, the one where Crowley is trying his best, okay. It’s unbearably romantic how much they love each other, how they slide into soft intimacy in fits and starts. Also has quite possibly the most disastrous date in history, but it’s the thought that counts.)

BEFORE

71. Fractured Heart – @asparklethatisblue (T, the one that’s gonna murder me with Aziraphale’s feels. The premise is that angels can be physically broken by strong emotion, and what’s stronger than the grief of losing a loved one to the Rebellion? Also dealing with Aziraphale’s feelings for Crowley getting tangled up in his feelings for his lost heavenly love, and it’s DELICIOUS.)

72. ask, and ye shall receive – @ariaste (G, the one where Crawly gets exactly what he’s asking for. Very much has the feel of my something-great grandpa, who once told a man “Go ahead, shoot me!” and was obliged. Hilarious and sweet, you can FEEL God’s smugness throughout the entire fic.)

73. what wound did ever heal – HallsofStone2941 (M, the one where Aziraphale is wounded in the War in Heaven and carries it with him. Rated M for one line involving sexytimes that truly isn’t that bad at all. Aziraphale is just so good and brave and Aziraphale about it all, A+++ characterization.)

74. Falling – @differentjasper (T, the one where the War in Heaven changed a lot of things. Read this if you want to picture little baby angel Aziraphale and Crowley and then get EMOTIONALLY WRECKED about them. I kinda wanted to rip my own heart out just to stop it from hurting so much while reading it.)

TOUCH-STARVED/BODY WORSHIP/WINGS

75. Uncaffeinated Decisions – @suntosirius (T, the one where Aziraphale is insecure and Crowley is sleepy. Utterly heart-rending in the best way; reading Crowley being so loving of Aziraphale’s body was extremely cathartic and satisfying, and continues to deliver every re-read.)

76. And So He Bringeth Them Unto the Haven – @je-suis-em-jee (T, the one where they’re both so touch-starved it’s obscene. Pitch-perfect romance and intimacy, I could feel the affection and love in my very bones.)

77.  All that’s been shown to me (Sunlight) – WillowRoseBrook (T, the one where Aziraphale needs some convincing that being soft is good. I’m especially weak for softness being praised, so this one hit me like a nail between the eyes. Intense, passionate, and intimate. Deffo got that praise kink going, too.)

78. These Fragments I Have Shored Against My Ruins – @istezada (NR, the one with vague D/s themes as Crowley and Aziraphale work through their traumas together. Has wing grooming and praising and misunderstandings and communication, oh my. A veritable piñata of feels.)

79. Long For the Touch of Your Hand – sara_wolfe (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale Did the Do in ancient Athens and predictably never touched again because Miscommunication. Oh, y’all, so mournful and uncertain, so desperate and sweet! My skin literally ached the first time I read this, it was the best.)

80. I Love My Lover With A-- – DictionaryWrites2 (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale have a game that involves kissing and adjectives. Book-verse, one of those curious fics where you’re both drowning in feels and learning something. Sensual in all the best ways and so achingly loving.)

81. Untouched – @etaleah (T, the one that RIPPED MY HEART FROM MY CHEST WITHIN THE FIRST COUPLE HUNDRED WORDS OR LESS. And then CONTINUED TO PUMMEL ME INTO THE GROUND FOR THREE THOUSAND WORDS. Crowley is so painfully touch-starved it kicked my own touch-starvedness into overdrive. Will take your emotions and leave them bleeding and broken before carefully bandaging them up and giving them a snuggle.)

82. a garden all their own – @letmetemptyou (T, the one where Crowley gets some much-needed TLC as he starts to process the day of Armageddon. Plaintive, poignant, and deeply emotional. Absolutely wrecked me.)

BONUS

83. High Risk, No Reward – @asideofourown (T, the one where idiots try to rob the bookshop. BAMF Aziraphale and hapless mortals, it doesn’t get any better than this.)

84. Asportation – @mazarin221b (T, the one where Aziraphale gets kidnapped and gets the best of his kidnappers. Or, rather, brings out the best in his kidnappers. Such a delightful way for Aziraphale to deal with the people who tried to put him up for ransom, the whole thing is utterly charming.)

85. A Button to Lurk – @reidluver (T, a quiet and mournful look at a possible spin on Michael and Hastur’s relationships with Ligur, and what’s left after Armageddon. Took me completely by surprise. Understated, powerful, and dignified, if you can believe it. Of course it is, it’s Michael.)

86. And So They Grew Better – JiMoriartea (NR, the one that’s about the plants! Basically has canon from the perspective of the unfortunate little plant that gets singled out for having a leaf spot. She is a delight and I’m so proud of her, and can’t wait to see her completely miss the point of future events XD)

87. Secret Agent Man – @theaceace (G, the one from the perspective of an actual secret agent who doesn’t think Crowley and Aziraphale are very good at their jobs. Baffling and hilarious and wonderful in every way.)

H/C /WHUMP/BAMF

88. The Point of You and Me – Rizandace (T, the one where you think everything is gonna be fine and then Gabriel happens. The danger is real. The emotions are real. The heart-stopping was figurative but felt pretty real at the time, tbh. Prepare to get punched in the face with your feelings.)

89. (Don’t) Say My Name – @cosmicocelot (M, the one where Crowley gets summoned by a not-nice person. M for torture. A classic search-and-rescue and it’s the best OH SNAP moment when Aziraphale finally catches up. Woof.)

90. Something Wicked – @thepaisleyelf (M, the one where Aziraphale gets summoned by a not-nice person. M for torture, though it’s supernatural and not exactly graphic. This one is an intense and wild adventure, y’all, that morphs straight into intense and desperate attempts at care and healing. The whole thing is a tender love story wrapped in a Victorian supernatural candy coating and it SLAPS.)

91. Every Demon Wants his Pound of Flesh – @dolphin-bouillabaisse (T, the one where Hastur is stalking Crowley. If hurt!Crowley trying to be brave and not let anyone know he’s hurting and bamf!Aziraphale taking care of business once he finally figures it out is your flavor, then welcome to Flavor Town, because this one is juicy. Was not at ALL expecting the ending, it’s delicious and vindictive.)

92. And we could feel, (none of it) – @clankclunk (G, the one where Aziraphale comes to grips with how Crowley knows to save him and the implications of that. Aziraphale’s entire emotional journey through this fic is so heartbreaking. But the conclusion is the exact counterbalance of healing and sweetness needed. Also Heaven is full of dicks but we knew that (except Aziraphale didn’t but that’s the point of this fic, now go read it).)

93. the wonder that keeps the stars apart – Nilmiel (G, the one where, fourteen hours after he gets the holy water, Crowley immediately has an Incident. Painful and emotional and intensely sweet. The second chapter has the best closure, even though it happens post-Armageddon’t.)

94. goodnight sweet prince (and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest) – @xoxoemynn (T, the one where Crowley needs a nap. Told throughout like a bedtime story in between the narrative and it’s such a charming effect, watching Crowley succumb to his exhaustion and Aziraphale take care of him.)

95. Fragments of Life – TheGirlWithBrightEyes (G, T, M, the series where Crowley has PTSD and anxiety, and Aziraphale adjusts. This series is a heartbreaking one and doesn’t shy away from the ugly parts of neurodivergence, but as much pain as there is, there is an equal and even greater amount of comfort and positive reinforcement. The single M is for a fic that toes the line of smut but doesn’t actually go over. Feels as cathartic as a good long cry.)

96. A Choiceless Hope In Grief – @thealphaaxolotl (NR, the one inspired by Orpheus and Eurydice. Featuring Crowley trapped in Tartarus and Aziraphale being more determined than Heaven and Hell combined to save him. One of those stories that drags you through the dark but doesn’t leave you there—at least, not alone, not without comfort.)

97. November Rain – FeatherBlack (T, the one where Crowley has a very bad time dealing with his emotions and Aziraphale is very bad at communicating. Visceral and emotional and raw and difficult to read at times with how miserable everyone is, but it does get better. It does definitely get better.)

98. Within These Walls – Elvendork (G and T, the series that you think is gonna be a fluffy “Greatest Showman” song-inspired jaunt but then comes out of left field with a sucker punch straight to the throat. Touching and thrilling and who invited Gabriel and Sandalphon, because I sure didn’t.)

99. Sticks and Stones – Kaz_Langston (T, the one where Aziraphale develops disordered eating because Gabriel is a dick. This one hurt so much, Aziraphale does not deserve what happens to him, but he does deserve the love and care Crowley gives him as a result.)

[stillseekwill]

“What,” said Crowley, the hinges of her jaw suddenly not quite working the way they should, “are you wearing?”

Aziraphale startled and immediately drew the open button up pyjama top around her. “Oh, you know. Nothing. Nothing of note. Pyjamas.”

It wasn’t bright enough to see it, but Crowley could hear the blush on Aziraphale’s voice. But what Crowley had seen in the dull moonlight wasn’t even in the same ballpark as nothing of note. She groped wildly for the lightswitch behind her, her mouth cracking into a grin. - When 20-year-old Crowley sees Aziraphale for the very first time she's piss drunk, and backed by a chorus of absolute menaces who fancied themselves her friends. An inauspicious start grows into something miraculous. Years after their first meeting, Aziraphale still manages to surprise her.

-

As a gift for lovely @mllekurtz, I wrote an extremely soft Human AU Ineffable Wives one-shot for these extremely un-soft times. Enjoy.

[ao3feed-ineffablehusbandz]

brighter than the brightest stars

by seekwill

“What,” said Crowley, the hinges of her jaw suddenly not quite working the way they should, “are you wearing?”

  Aziraphale startled and immediately drew the open button up pyjama top around her. “Oh, you know. Nothing. Nothing of note. Pyjamas.”

  It wasn’t bright enough to see it, but Crowley could hear the blush on Aziraphale’s voice. But what Crowley had seen in the dull moonlight wasn’t even in the same ballpark as nothing of note. She groped wildly for the lightswitch behind her, her mouth cracking into a grin. - When 20-year-old Crowley sees Aziraphale for the very first time she's piss drunk, and backed by a chorus of absolute menaces who fancied themselves her friends. An inauspicious start grows into something miraculous. Years after their first meeting, Aziraphale still manages to surprise her.

Words: 6103, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Good Omens (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F

Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub (Good Omens), Dagon (Good Omens), Michael (Good Omens), Hastur (Good Omens), Ligur (Good Omens)

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)

Additional Tags: Ineffable Wives (Good Omens), Alternate Universe - Human, Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Love at First Sight, Love Confessions, Flashbacks, Lingerie, Weddings, Strap-Ons

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/23470804

[appears]

Moments

It's Ayumi Hamasaki's birthday on October 2 and we're extending the celebration in true ego-maniacal, splashy celebrity fashion, by drawing out the festivities for an entire week! Each day I will briefly discuss a totally random item chosen (not by me) from my Ayu collection. Prepare for praise, disappointment, and controversial opinions backed by love and respect as we take a casual look back in this blurry snapshot of her career. Happy Birthday to our Party Queen, Ayumi Hamasaki!

Ayumi Hamasaki's Moments was the beginning of what industry insiders and now the lay public refer to as a new "era." The single followed the release of Ayu's first mini-album, a collection of eight songs released at the end of 2003 that compiled her last three singles (including the tripe A-side &, No way to say, and forgiveness), along with four new songs, of which all but one received an accompanying music video (that would be the closing, and fan favorite, title track "Memorial address (take 2 version)," which is considered something of a bonus track.

Her next album would be released almost one year later, and to kick start the promotions, she released the elegant "Moments," a sort of melancholy spring ballad influenced by previous ballads like "No way to say" and "HANABI ~episode II~." In hindsight, this was an ominous choice -- ominous as in thick with omens, not inauspicious or threatening -- because it succinctly foretold the musical language of its resulting album, MY STORY (think "walking proud" and "HAPPY ENDING"). It's a song that I immediately liked upon listening, with its simple melody highlighted by a quaint series of catchy la...la-las... It has a steady pace, but it never lacks for punch in the chorus. Like the return to spring itself, it's cyclical, always shifting back to that slower pace again and again. It's clear that this is another in a running series of "seasonal" singles that Ayumi, like the rest of J-pop, indulged in, but which took on a particular resonance here with the two follow-ups: the summery "INSPIRE" and wintry "CAROLS." This sets up MY STORY as a deliberate year-long diary that uses the seasons as a foundational base. And "Moments" is where it all starts, with its symbolic use of new life and rebirth in the flowers and bright greens of the cover art. The music video, too, features a literal room full of technicolor flowers, an almost blinding bubblegum-pink field of blooms among which children play. In classic Ayu-PV fashion, it takes on a sinister feel, but never gets scary or ugly, instead depicting an uncanny kind of wonder.

In March of 2004, we were well beyond the point of maxi-singles that featured a dozen remixes of the title track, but we do get two remixes on this single: a beautiful acoustic piano version that evoked the Acoustic Orchestra series of remix albums, as well as a mostly forgettable dance remix by CMJK titled the "Flying humanoid Mix." I'm disappointed by this remix, as CMJK usually produces some great stuff, like the "Ocean View Remix" on Far away as well as the extended mix of "opening run" on the Daybreak single (he also worked on many of the tracks for NEXT LEVEL). Ayumi's vocals sound great here so the acoustic piano version, which trades all of the pomp of the original for simple piano and some strings, sounds fantastic. The final track is the instrumental version which is also really great, though I would prefer it without the vocal harmonies.

This was the first Ayu single to be released in both a regular CD-only version, and a CD+DVD version that included the music video. The cover art was also the same for both versions of this, something that wouldn't change for three more singles until 2005's fairyland. The CD also contains the infamous copy-protection software on it, but is useless on today's computers and wasn’t much deterrence eighteen years ago either (but man, they really thought they were going to kill pirated music for a while there -- adorable!)

[orsinium-scholar]

Holidays of Orsinium: excerpts from A Guide to the Dragontails, 5th edition

Foreword: While many of the holidays and observances of High Rock and Hammerfell are shared by the people of Orsinium, its isolated nature and the history of its people have given it a number of unique festivals for the rugged hiker able to make the trip up the mountainside. Of note is that these are the ones celebrated in Orsinium Minor, the part of the twin city open to the world. As Orsinium Major is forbidden to outsiders, it is unknown whether they have the same holidays or ones we have not seen. Visitors are advised against asking, as prying into the nature of Major makes the locals tense and suspicious.

First Seed.

Spring festival.

This festival is celebrated after the first spring rains and the melting of last years snow, and is marked by the blooming of Dibella's Eye, a plant unique to the Dragontails. This unassuming flower grows in any crack of stone it can, whether natural or Masonry, and when the first rain of spring has passed tiny flowers bloom in a startling array of colours, covering the strong walls and buildings of Orsinium Minor in a blanket of colour.

The locals are insistent that this is not a flower festival, but a springtime fertility rite, and pressing the issue may result in injury. There is a carnival, and a young orc woman is chosen as “springtime maiden”. This is the time of year when the sap begins to rise and nature is making increase, and just as the ram begins to notice the ewes, the eyes of the young people are drawn to each other. Not for nothing is the local saying “as rare as an Orc maiden in spring time” and many orcs have their birth date around Suns Dusk.

Travelers are advised to tread with care in the verdant slopes around Minor, as being beaten by a furious Orc swain and his paramour is an inauspicious start to spring.

... 8th Rains Hand

In keeping with the dual nature of Trinimalacath, this is the day of worship for his aspect as trinimac (his aspect as Malacath is honoured six months hence). Healers, teachers, and all manner of tradesmen pray for Trinimacs favour at his temple.

...

8th Frost Fall

This is the summoning day of Malacath. While Malacath worship has only recently been made legal again in Orsinium following the ascension of Queen Gramag, this festival is still somewhat subdued. Malacath worshipers will anoint their shrines with troll fat and pray for his favour and strength for the rest of the year. In the Temple of Trinimalacath, this day is marked with a service dedicated to soldiers and warriors, and all in that line of work may come to the temple and receive a blessing.

... 9-11th Frost Fall.

The largest event in the Orsinium calendar, this three day festival marks the anniversary of the Miracle of Peace, and Gortwog gro-Nagorms victory in turning Orcs from mere monsters to Imperial citizens. There is much celebration, with the royal family providing food and drink from its own pocket. Merchants sell commemorative trinkets, and the Orsinium actors guild puts on plays commemorating the event, as well as notable events in Gortwogs life. The Queen herself will also make an appearance, and will offer a speech to the crowd.

...

21st Suns Dusk

Vengeance day.

Whether Malacath or Trinimac, vengeance is inextricably woven into the Orsimer way of life. On this day, Orcs gather to address old grudges of the past year. However, unlike the holiday of First Planting, where neighbours cast aside yearly arguments with wine and gifts, Orcs settle the matter with a brief yet violent brawl. Vengeance day can be terrifying for visitors to the city, with the streets full of random scuffles and shouts. Better to hide in a tavern, where brawling is prohibited for the day, and avoid the flying fists. Visitors may also be startled to see Orcs who moments ago seemed near to killing each other merrily sharing a drink and comparing wounds, and the atmosphere in Orsinium after this day is distinctly calm and jovial. The slate is wiped clean and the bad blood purged. Until next year.

...

31st Evening star.

The orcish form of old life festival is known as “The Cleansing Of the Forge” or “Grey Snow” and is marked by a thorough and deep cleaning before the new year begins. Of particular importance is the forge, and whether a busy workshop or a small personal forge, all over Orsinium the cold ashes are being cleaned out and cast aside, turning the white winter snow grey as the dust flies. Those without forges clean their fireplaces and hearths, and the first fire laid in the clean grate is done with some ceremony. Omens for the new year may be read in the first wisps of smoke for those with the knowing of such things.

[arbenia]

Popular Albanian beliefs (part 2)

(Taken from “A Dictionary Of Albanian Religion, Mythology, And Folk Culture” By Robert Elsie)

Fingernails - When someone cuts his nails he should blow on them and throw the cuttings over his shoulder. In this way he puts the evil behind him. One should also avoid cutting one’s fingernails on a Friday. In Kosova many people will only cut their fingernails on a Thursday or a Saturday.

Bats - As among the Germans of Transylvania and the Upper Palatinate, bats were interpreted by the Albanians as omens of death. Thus, if a bat flew into a house, it was thought that someone there would die.

Sun - Both the sun and are common symbols and motifs in Albanian folk art, including tattooing. We know that the Illyrians, the ancient inhabitants of the western Balkans, used symbols of the sun in their ornaments, though it cannot said for certain wether it is these which have been handed down to the present-day Albanians. The Paeonians who lived somewhere between the ancient Macedonians and the Dardanians, also had a cult of the sun, which the second-century A.D writer Maximus of Tyre described as focused on a small disc at the top of a long pole. The sun cult among the Albanians is reflected in oaths i.e swearing by the sun. Indeed, oaths taken by the sun and its rays e.g. “by the sun.” Alb. për atë diell, and “by this sunbeam,” Alb. për këtë rreze dielli, were formerly more common than the oaths taken by God, and are used by to this very day. Albanian oral literature also preserves noticeable references to the sun’s rays illuminating sombre mountain caves, etc. The feast of Saint George can also be linked to an early solar festival. Baron Franz Nopcsa (1877-1933) reports that the Catholic inhabitants of Shala and Plan Sh would make the sign of the cross when struck by the first rays of the sun in the morning. 

Tuesday - Of all the days of the week, Tuesday is regarded in Albania, as in Turkey, as the unluckiest, Alb. ditë ters ‘ill-omened day.’ It is a particularly bad day for setting out on a journey. Many Albanian women will not do their housework on Tuesdays because one of the hours of the day, the the sahat ters ‘unlucky hour,’ will bring them bad luck. Old women are known no to wash their hair on Tuesdays, nor will they throw out the dishwater. This belief is still widespread in Albania. Workers will often not lay the foundations for a new house on a Tuesday and many people will not wear new clothes for the first time on that day. The Italian cleric Ernesto Cozzi of Trento recorded the Gheg expression Zoja e marte asht e lidhun “Lady Tuesday is harsh.”

Friday - Friday was considered an unlucky day of the week, almost as ominous as Tuesday. It was particularly inauspicious to spin wool, shear sheep or even have one’s hair or fingernails cut on Friday. Among the Orthodox women of Reka e Epërme (Republic of Macedonia) is was considered a sin to manual labour on this day.

Wolves - Wolves, Alb ujk, def ujku, plur. ujq or ujqër, were much feared by the pastoral Albanian tribes in the past. As such, they used a number of euphemisms for them in order to attract their attention, e.g. bisha ‘the savage one,’ gojëlidhuni ‘the one whose mouth is closed,’ i pagoji ‘the mouthless one.’ A wolf might kill only ninety-nine sheep. If it tried to steal the hundredth, it would die.  In connection with vampires, it was thought that only a wolf could force a lugat back into its grave. If anyone refused to give money to a beggar wearing a wolf’s skin, the beggar needed only throw the skin onto the threshold of the miser’s house. This was enough to ensure that wolves would cause damage to his herds. In view of this, it is said that no herdsmen ever refused money to a beggar dressed in wolf’s skin.

Cats - According to Johann Georg von Hahn cats were particularly revered in the northern Albanian mountains. As one legend has it, a cat once jumped out of the sleeve of a garment worn by Jesus in order to put an end to a plague of mice in a house the Lord was visiting. The killing of a cat was thus regarded as an act of impiety. Black cats on the other hand, as in many other cultures, are considered unlucky, specially if they cross someone’s path. People in Albania used to believe that if a cat licked itself while looking towards the north or east, the sun would shine. If it licked itself white facing the west or south, there would be rain.

Hare - The hare, Alb. lepur, def. lepuri, lepuj, is a bad omen in Albanian belief. If someone stars out on a journey and his path is crossed out by a hare, it is deemed  advisable, as with a black cat, for him to return home at once, for otherwise something bad will happen to him. If a pregnant woman sees a hare, her child will turn out to be a coward and will sleep at night with his eyes open. Nor should a woman eat a hare during pregnancy. Dervishes will not eat hares because they believe the animals are made of menstruation discharge.

Garlic - A clove of garlic can be used to protect a child from the evil eye. The witch-like shtrigas can also be kept at bey with garlic.

Pigeons - Pigeons and doves, Alb. pëllumb, def. pëllumbi, like many other birds in the Albanian tradition, were said to bring bad luck. For this reason, people in the countryside will not keep them in their homes.

Shoulder blades - The shoulder blade, Alb. shpatull, def. shpatulla, related to Lat. scapula ‘shoulder blade,’ of an animal, in particular of a ram, was used by the northern tribes well into the twentieth century to predict the future, in particular with references to deaths, coming wars and weather. The breast bones of chickens, preferably black chickens, were also held up to the light to predict the future. Predictions from chicken bones were only valid for an individual if he had possessed the chicken in question for at least forty days, otherwise the prediction was valid for the previous owner.

Pigs - When pigs begin to play, it is said that is going to rain.

Clover - As in many other cultures, great power was attributed to the four-leaf clover. If such a clover were to be rubbed against the locks and chains on a horse, they would fall open at once. The four-leaf clover was also used for courting. A young man would take a four-leaf clover to church with him and leave it there for forty days. Thereafter he would place it upon the maiden of his choice and, with this simple gesture, win her over as his bride. 

Prophecies - The Albanians attached prophetic capacity to various objects in their surroundings. Most common in the north of the country was divination with the shoulder blades of rams and cattle or with the breast bones of chickens. Propitious for prophecies concerning the future of a child were the moment of the first ritual hair cutting, fingernails and baby teeth.

Weasels -  If a person speaks badly of a weasel, Alb. nuselale, def nuselalja, or bukël, def. bukla, also known euphemistically as bishtfurkbukur, def bishtfurkbukuri, lit. ‘the beautiful folk-tailed one,’ it will destroy his clothes. If a weasel enters a house and bares its teeth, all the mice and rats in the house will die of fright.

Colors - It was believed by the northern tribes  that black-coloured animals had magical powers, or at least more magical powers than others. The breast bones of black chickens were especially propitious for predicting the future. In Albanian mythology, the most courageous draguas in animal form were black: black rams, black roosters, etc. In the northern mountains, married women could be distinguished from unmarried women by the fact that the latter did not wear anything red. In Dukagjin, the fairy godmother-like oras came in three colors: white ones who did good and brought luck, yellow ones who did evil and brought bad luck, and black ones who brought death. 

Djegagur - In northern Albania, the first twelve days of August, known as djegagur, def. djegaguri ‘the burning stone,’ because of the heat, were feared because poltergeists and invisible witches who were wont to invade people’s homes. In Labëria, each of these first days of August was said to determine the weather for the months of the coming year.

Cuckoos - The cuckoo, Alb. qyqe, def qyqja, is a female symbol of misfortune in Albanian folklore. The song of cuckoo portends disaster or misfortune, often a death. The word qyqe is also synonymous in Albanian with an unfortunate woman, i.e. one who has no children or husband. In the legend of Doruntina, Doruntina’s mother turns into a cuckoo when she learns that her children are dead.

 Fleas - In order to rid a house of fleas, Alb. plesht, def. pleshti, the youngest female of the household had to strip naked, sweep the house and, standing near the doorway, repeat three times over, “We’ve been freed, the fleas are gone.”

[thetunewillcome]

Inauspicious (But Not Impossible)

Good Omens Fic, Aziraphale/Crowley

Summary: Shakespeare, for all of his brilliance, got one thing wrong: no one is ever truly star-crossed. Having helped create most of the stars, Crowley knew this better than anyone. If the stars were the only forces keeping them apart, he would have rearranged them when Aziraphale finally, agonizingly belatedly, realized he was in love. Instead, he ran, and for good reason.

“Look thou but sweet, and I am proof against their enmity.”

- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

-----

[1596]

Aziraphale had, of course, seen Romeo and Juliet.  He was at The Globe for its very first performance, actually, and he found it to be brilliant, though William did have a tendency to throw rather serious religious terminology around in borderline-blasphemous ways.  Romeo is a clever boy, I’ll give him that, the angel thought as he watched Romeo purge himself of sin with a kiss, but I do hope he atones properly later.  Really, “dear saint, let lips do what hands do”?  He should know better than to use prayer for temptation.  Actually, that sounds a bit like- At the thought of him, Aziraphale’s head turned and his blue eyes scanned the crowd.

Almost everyone was watching the young actors with reverent attention – Will certainly has a hit on his hands with this one. – but Aziraphale looked for an outlier, someone leaning casually on the margins of the crowd, feigning boredom at such a human love story, serpentine eyes hidden by dark lenses.  He could see no one matching this description.  Aziraphale really wasn’t surprised.  After so many chance meetings, he had begun to sense the demon’s presence before he saw him, and nothing on his angelic radar told him Crowley was nearby.  He was surprised, however, by the twinge of disappointment he felt.  He frowned.

Better that he’s not here, anyway, he told himself.  As the play continued and Juliet learned Romeo’s family name, Aziraphale let his mind wander a little.  He could imagine exactly how Crowley would have picked that last scene apart, smirking, teasing him with comments like “so that’s what saints get up to on Earth, then?  Saints?” and “just touching someone’s hand’s a sin, now, is it?  If all Eve had to do was touch Adam’s hand, my job would’ve been much easier. Your lot’s getting strict, angel.”

He certainly would have laughed in the lovely, hopeful silence after the lovers stared into each other’s eyes and Juliet said “you kiss by the book.”  And then, Aziraphale thought with a small sigh, when he ran out of snide comments, he surely would’ve asked me to take care of some demonic work he found too troublesome.  Always up to something.  As Aziraphale imagined this interaction, he had the same star-struck, soft look on his face as most of the other theatergoers, and yet, if the man next to him had asked the angel what those last few lines had meant, he wouldn’t have been able to tell him.  His mind was elsewhere.

On the stage, the human playing Juliet softly cried “My only love sprung from my only hate!  Too early seen unknown, and known too late” and Aziraphale, lost in thought, didn’t hear her.

-----

[1941]

A flash of light, thunder louder than the first storm over Eden.  A tremor as fragments fall at their feet.  A realization, an affectionate smile, and a real, honest miracle, one just for him.  A brushing of fingers over his as he takes hold of the heavy bag.  A tightness in his chest, a pounding in his ears.  And then he is alone again, standing in the rubble of a bomb, a hundred-year-old church, and the last of his defenses.

[Keep reading on AO3]