#the one that should've got away

[nessastuff]

[spotaus]

Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

[helianthus21]

best part about season 3 were the flashbacks to season 1<3

[hotdyke-hardstyle]

as much as it would be on brand if the saltburn cum vinyl ended up leaking I am a little concerned about it

[ink-5oul]

Mike crew's scars are biologically incorrect but y'all aren't ready for that conversation

[thirddoctor]

sometimes when I see people talk about the Chibnall era it truly feels like we watched completely different shows. I think there's genuinely stuff to praise but some of things people are seeing in there just baffle me

[vraska-theunseen]

aughhhh. aughhhhhjhhhh

[essektheylyss]

A LOT about my new place is not set up but the bookshelves are arranged and my office is fucking beautiful, and really nothing else matters.

[my5hiningstars]

∞ <3

thank u nonnie 🥺

How am I gonna know if I'm never alone? / When I live in the numb and all feeling is gone / I throw it all out the window, all out the window / like it's all I'll ever be. - Luke Hemmings, Bloodline (2021)

send me a ∞ and i'll pick you my favourite lyric from a random song

[savage-rhi]

💀

[nessastuff]

can you do some headers of her?

im not good at making headers, sorry if its bad

[caramelmochacrow]

utena, man.

[daz4i]

speaking of tinder last time i used it i mostly saw 1. guys looking for something serious (my loves you will not find it on tinder i can assure you) 2. guys hiding their face bc they're closeted. mostly soldiers. which is fair 3. one guy who openly declared being a kinky furry 4. this:

[jankwritten]

I'm in a sickly sweet romance kind of mood and just had a funny story idea.

Character A is just randomly searching around for music on Spotify/Youtube or something like that, gets bored (or is somehow struck with the idea) and decides to search their own full name, just to see.

To their surprise, there's a playlist. A playlist with over 100 songs, even, and for a second they think, no, there's no way this is a playlist that means them, maybe they just have a more common name than they thought or something.

They listen to a couple songs on the playlist, though, and realize that more than a handful of them are songs that they like. Songs that they've listened to for years, songs they play in the car with their friends or songs they choose at parties whenever they're asked for suggestions. It's not a coincidence - some of those songs aren't even popular, songs from local bands they'd heard play at coffee shops or campuses or stuff like that. This has to be connected to them, specifically.

And it's not just full of Character A's favorite music, either - there are love songs on there that they've never heard before. Songs about longing. They read through the lyrics on some of the songs they don't recognize and can't help but ache about whatever has caused the creation of the playlist in the first place. It's obvious that someone has a crush on them, someone who knows them well enough to piece together their music taste and knows that they're largely unlikely to do exactly what led to them finding the playlist at all, search their own name. (the rest is under a read more because this got a little long)

They go to the account associated with the playlist, but there's really nothing identifiable. The username isn't anything Character A recognises, the PFP is just some shot of the sky/stars/whatever that could be pulled from google images, and there's only one other public playlist, titled "for work". They scroll through that playlist, but it's largely generic or instrumental music. It could belong to anybody.

OFC, they don't tell their friends about the discovery. They feel guilty about it, but they think that if it was one of their friends, they'd just take the playlist off public or delete it altogether, and they don't want that, not to mention they don't want to make one of their friends potentially feel worse about whatever situation is apparently going on there. So they start listening, instead, and paying attention; they keep track of who's around when they play what music, keep track of which friends listen to what, that kind of thing.

It...sort of spirals. Character A suddenly has their own playlists with their friends names (and unsurprisingly Character B's playlist has the most songs added, since they hang out the most) that they're meticulous with, but they're no closer to figuring out the owner of the original paylist itself. There have been more songs added to it - some soft country music, a newer pop song that Character A played on a loop for a week when it first came out, stuff like that - but none of it is helpful.

And it spirals worse, once Character A realizes that their own playlist for Character B has started to almost...parallel, the original playlist. Not that the songs are the same, but that Character A (famously bad at recognizing their own feelings) almost seems to feel that way toward their own friend.

The guilt gnaws further in, since they assume that the original playlist's maker can't be Character B for whatever reason would make sense in-context.

One day, they hear one of the songs from the original playlist while they're out somewhere with their group of friends, and it's one of the songs that really, Character A wouldn't have found on their own without The Playlist, so when they know the words and hum along, the whole group seems almost taken aback. And ofc immediately start in, because it's one of the more pining, romantic songs, and oooo, that must mean Character A has a crush or something along those lines.

This becomes where Character A comes clean and admits that a few months ago (or however long, maybe less time depending on who Character A winds up being) they found the playlist with their name, but didn't say anything since it seemed like it was made by somebody they knew and they didn't want to embarrass anyone. They also admit that they still don't know who made it, so if that person didn't want to come clean, they didn't have to.

Nobody comes clean. Character A feels a little disappointed (and they definitely avoid looking at Character B for the rest of the day) but they move on with it.

The playlist doesn't get privated. Character A keeps listening to it.

Eventually, some time later, Characters A & B are out somewhere, and Character A makes a comment about liking the song on the radio, which they search (wow, they've gotten very good at searching for songs that they don't really know, haven't they?) and discover is an old song from an artist who's not really well known nowadays. They add it to their library to listen to later and continue on their way, hanging out with Character B and wondering if they can tell that anything is different, that Character A has drastically changed how they behave in those few months (or whenever) between discovering the playlist, discovering how they feel for Character B, and now.

They go home. Character A resolves that they probably cannot continue like this, pining after their best friend while aware that somebody who knows them (maybe somebody in that friend group, even) has the same soppy-sad crush. The only thing they can do is act on their own feelings and hope nobody gets hurt.

The next morning, they check the playlist.

The new song, the one they only just heard the once yesterday, the one they told Character B made them feel fuzzy and nice, is there, at the very bottom.

Character A's heart stalls out.

Things become limbo - both Characters A & B are aware now, aware of each other and that they both must know, must have figured it out, but neither of them want to act first because they're still unsure, they're both still stuck in the "but what if" phase where they think the other could be lying, or it could be coincidence. It's not weird, not really. They still hang out. Their friends notice something is different, but nobody points it out. If Character A tucks Character B's hair behind their ear and smiles at them like they're the only one in the room more often than not, nobody says anything.

I think it would resolve something like: Character A finally sends Character B the link to their own playlist when they can't take it anymore, with something stupid and sappy spelled out by the titles of the last few songs in the playlist, and Character B says yes (or otherwise responds in kind to the thing that was written out) and they all live happily ever after (and are teased mercilessly by their friends for it, ofc).

[zukkaoru]

cartoony little indignant tachihara u will always be famous to me

[id in alt]

[mlchaelwheeler]

hot take: I didn't love El hitting Angela. Yeah it's satisfying to see a bitch get rocked but the fandom treats it like such a girlboss moment when that really wasn't meant to depict a healthy response. El has a potentially fascinating relationship with violence to explore, so narratively it's fine that that happened except that it kinda went nowhere. I guess she saw that her actions have consequences when she got arrested but then they just dropped it and she didn't seem to think anything of it or grow from it (unless I'm not thinking deep enough thoughts?). I know she had much bigger fish to fry, but I felt like we needed to see her interact with or at least think about Angela one more time to wrap that all up. Idk I love El but the whole bullying arc felt so 2D to me.