#the one with the vulture genuinely scared the shit out of me because it dropped out of NOWHERE directly on top of me

[mossyflowers]

Another rain world doodle post since this game has me by the scruff

Gonna be calling them The Watcher along with The Child due to the surprise baby acquisition :]

[animated-antagonist]

Qibli has a terrible arc

HEAR ME OUT.

Before you attack me for this, I genuinely don’t care if you like or hate him. I never loved him, but he wasn’t as bad as moon. Sometimes he’s funny, I like his interactions with winter, but I never really cared about him. But the way his mind was described in moon rising made me excited for his pov in book 10.

Then I read it and realized that he’s a boring, whiny, obsessive character who I was immediately sick of.

Darkness of dragons as a whole is a fucking mess from start to finish. And because I have nothing better to do right now, im going to explain why.

This is all my opinion, and it is based on story structure and character arc guidelines and stuff that I have learned recently. Feel free to disagree. Qibli is a decent character with his charm and humour, but he has the worst character arc out of all wof books. Yes that includes the hive queen and dragonslayer.

 Ok so first, what I like about qibli: like two things: his relationship with winter, and his sense of humour. I like his playful banter with the shiny ice dragon prince. It’s entertaining. And he does have the occasional joke that manages to somewhat amuse me.

 Literally everything else about him is awful. So let’s talk about that.

 Memorable characters are driven by three main things: desire, fear, and misbelief.

 Winter’s misbelief is that his life’s worth is determined by a ranking on a wall and what his tribe thinks of him. This also results in him believing that working with others and expressing love and trust are signs of weakness. He’s afraid of being a disappointment to his tribe because he’s experienced that feeling in his past already, and never wants to face it again. And yet … he does want more. He’s more open and caring than the rest of his family, and in the two backstory scenes we get, it’s clear he’s far more willing to bend the rules to be even a little more free.

 Peril’s misbelief is that she’s too dangerous to make her own decisions. Therefore, she’s instantly loyal to anyone who expresses a hint of interest or affection to her. This leads to her being easy to manipulate, and Scarlet does just that. She’s afraid of displeasing the people she’s loyal to, but she does want to be free. But her backstory and eight years of living by Scarlet’s orders and not having a single thought of her own has lead her to subconsciously believe that she constantly has to have someone make all her choices for her. She doesn’t go after Scarlet for her own benefit, it never crosses her mind once. She’s doing it because she knows it will make Clay happy, and not herself.

 Turtle always wanted to be a hero. That’s literally in the book blurb. But the Snapper incident in his backstory makes him doubt that he will ever be anything more than just another SeaWing prince. Thanks to his mother’s stories, he believes that in order to be a real hero, he has to do great, epic things like slaying whole armies by himself. He wants to be a hero, but his misbelief and fear of being noticed get in the way of his wants.

 And they all grow and overcome their fears and misbeliefs. Winter realizes that his friends would never hurt him the same way his family would. He realizes that it’s okay to love and be loved, to trust and be trusted. He goes back to his friends because he knows that, even if they can be annoying some times, it’s so much better than having his worth determined by a family and tribe that never approved of him and probably never will. Peril discovers that her misbelief is leading her to make the wrong decisions. Her growth is so strong that she can take off an animus touched object. She knows she’s right. She can make her own choices, and she’s done letting others use her as a toy. Turtle saves his sister, not by taking down an army, but by tossing her his enchanted stick to keep her hidden from Darkstalker. In doing that, he’s proven that he’s evolved and changed as a character. They all still have doubts at times, but that’s normal. These three characters have some of the best arcs I’ve ever seen.

 Now back to Qibli.

 His family told him he was worthless and couldn’t do anything as an ordinary dragon. This sparked the misbelief that he has to have power, or in this world animus magic, to have worth. He’s afraid of being worthless, and wants to feel valuable. That’s a great setup for a great character. Qibli could have, and should have, been one of the best wof characters of all time.

 But no he fucking sucks.

 I’m going to focus on him as a character here. The Vulture stuff is boring as hell and I don’t care to talk about it. The whole book is shit and I will never read it again, so let’s continue.

 Again, Qibli is set up to be an excellent character. When he goes to find Ostrich, he brings with him Anemone’s bracelets, which makes perfect sense. He doesn’t want to be powerless, so of course he’s going to bring that magic, that power, with him. More setup that goes no where, because when he uses them, he doesn’t even face consequences.

 Pausing here because I hate it so much.

 CONSEQUENCES ARE WHAT MAKE CHARACTERS GROW. If they face ZERO consequences for their actions, they won’t LEARN anything. Qibli using the bracelets works for his character, but I just cannot believe that Thorn would just let him walk away after burying the ENTIRE FUCKING KINGDOM in sand. I hate it so much. Qibli just getting a free pass and facing no consequences is so bad. He doesn’t even express that much remorse or guilt. That could work for a negative character arc (which I genuinely would have preferred from Qibli but I’ll get to that later) but for a positive arc? The magic and power he craves so deeply just got his entire kingdom buried. He should have so much more internal conflict now, because the thing he wants so badly just did more harm than good.

 Okay. Next part. This one isnt’ really related to his character arc, just more of him being a kinda jerk for a few seconds. Winter expresses great concern over travelling over Darkstalker’s teeth, and Qibli just teases him about it. Winter has known about Darkstalker’s malice his whole life, was brainwashed by him, and is truly terrified of him. If Qibli had teased him about anything else I wouldn’t have an issue, but Winter was scared for his life in this moment and Qibli just completely ignores it. Or maybe I’m wrong I haven’t touched the book in years because I hate it that much.

 Back to his ‘arc’.

 Wait no this is an issue I have with the book: the cliffhanger of book 9 was Turtle losing his animus magic and they just kinda fixed it in two seconds here. It’s very upsetting and kinda comical that they fixed it so effortlessly lmao.

 Back to Qibli.

 Uh nothing happens for a while. Just boring Moonbli WHICH, might I add, is the worst wof ship (excluding problematic ones ofc). They have zero chemistry and honestly I find Qibli a bit obsessive. He always thinks ‘what would Moon do’ or ‘will Moon love me if I do this?’ which yeah it ties into his ‘I want to be loved and have value’ motivation but it still feels a bit excessive and annoying at times. Pair that with his constant nagging about how ‘oh no if only I had that gosh darn scroll!’ or ‘how can moon ever choose meeee when she has winterrrr’. Moon described his mind to be fast and full of commotion, but we never see any of that in this book. It’s just constant whining and complaining.

 Then he goes another step further and blames Winter for getting angry at Moon for??? being friends with the dragon who just tried to murder his whole tribe???? Moon’s a fucking idiot for continuing to be friends with Darkstalker after everyone keeps telling her how bad he is. KINKAJOU, HER SUPPOSED BEST FRIEND, tells her all about what Darkstalker did to Turtle, and Moon’s just okay with it??? And then when Winter confronts her about still trusting Darkstalker after everything he’s done not just to the IceWings, but her friends as well, that Darkstalker brainwashed Winter and he’s not okay with it, Qibli calls him self-righteous for exploding with fury. What else do you expect?? This moment killed all three ships for me. It was an unnecessary event that’s only purpose was to give Tui a reason to make Moonbli canon instead of Winterwatcher.

 Onto the climax (which by the way is like the only semi decent part of this whole book). Qibli again uses his power to save the day. SERIOUSLY??? Ok fine it makes sense because this book has zero structure whatsoever. Qibli doesn’t have to make the impossible choice at the end of act one. He doesn’t face a goal shift at the midpoint. He doesn’t look a disaster right in the face. You cannot convince me that he’s changed at all over the course of this book.

 Because he doesn’t. He uses magic at the climax and boom everything is fixed. I like the concept of the empathy spell but it just doesn’t fit with this kind of character arc, unless it comes before the dark moment and fits into the supposed victory plot-point (thinking again now I think it sort of does but I’m too lazy to go change things so deal with it).

 And then oh no we get the temptation plot point! This is often my favourite plot point in stories that have it because we get to see the protagonist drop their misbelief and refuse the offer because they’ve changed! Reading this and thinking, oh wow he’s going to refuse it because he’s gone through a super dynamic character journey and arc!’ … then realizing no he’s not, because Tui forgot to include that and now makes Qibli refuse the offer for completely different reasons.

 See in a book with a good character arc, the character will refuse this offer because they’ve outgrown it. They no longer see value in it because they now have something greater to live for. I like this plot point much more than darkest moment if I’m being honest. So Darkstalker offers Qibli all he’s ever wanted: animus magic. Will Qibli accept, or decline? And why?

 He declines. But not for the right reasons.

 Qibli doesn’t refuse Darkstalker’s offer because he’s changed or grown. He doesn’t refuse it because he now sees no value in this because he’s seen happiness anywhere else. He refuses because he knows he can’t trust Darkstalker.

 … wow.

 i hate this book so much istg

 If Qibli had gone through a dynamic arc, he would have refused for better reasons.

 It’s just so disappointing. He has no reason to refuse that other than the fact that Darkstalker is untrustworthy. Holy shit.

 I take character arcs and story structure very seriously, and Qibli is just AWFUL when it comes to this.

 After three books that had such epic, emotional character arcs, DoD feels like a downgrade. And that’s why I think Qibli is a terrible character.

 But hey you know what COULD have worked?? Giving Qibli a NEGATIVE arc instead!

 I know he’s Darkstalker’s foil. That’s cool I don’t care. GIVE HIM A NEGATIVE ARC!! I would have LOVED IT SO MUCH MORE if Qibli accepted Darkstalker’s offer and arc 3 was all about all the other protagonists coming together to stop him and Darkstalker. That would have made a much better third arc. And you can bring in the other tribes if you want to I don’t care just find a way to make it work.

 It would have made so much more sense and fit the story so much more if Qibli accepted Darkstalker’s offer and became an evil animus alongside him. It also could have given Moonbli more time and chemistry! I still would have shipped Winterwatcher because well, Winter, but I probably wouldn’t hate Moonbli if this was the way the story went. Or maybe Qinter could be a thing. Imagine like a really emotional moment where Qibli is about to kill Winter and Winter just talks to him or something idk something romantic and sad. Would be great because there’s zero mlm rep in wof.

 Fuck it I’m gonna make an au about this.

 Yeeah that’s my rant over. I don’t hate Qibli as a character and I think he had so much potential but the way the story is written, I honestly thought he would have a negative arc instead. Wow I really want that au now I can’t stop thinking about it haha. But yeah Qibli is charismatic at times and a bit fun but his arc is terrible. Moon had a better arc than Qibli. MOON.

Sorry if this came off as aggressive at times I just wanted to voice my opinion. If you like him, that’s cool! I just don’t. He’s not one of my favourites although he could have been. Missed potential in my opinion. This is a very long rant so if you’re still reading this … thanks lol.

 Have a good day/night. Im gonna make that au now lmao.

[imagining-supernatural]

The First Article

Part 11 of Seventy Percent

Series Summary: When you left on your trip to Vegas, you’d planned on letting loose for one last weekend before heading back to reality and getting your affairs in order so your best friend wouldn’t be left cleaning up your mess when your cancer finally ended your life. What you hadn’t counted on was waking up married to a celebrity who has a knight-in-shining-armor complex, connections with an oncologist, and amazing insurance…

Chapter Summary: You wake up after the big fight with Sebastian

Word Count: 1941

When you woke up, the first thing you noticed was a new glass of water, your morning pills, and a banana on the bedside table.

You’d been so caught up in your fight that you hadn’t realized you’d forgotten to take your medicine. Sebastian, apparently, had noticed. And if he laid them out for you, it would seem he wanted you to continue your treatment.

Because he was a decent person. Because it was his fault you were here. Because he pitied you. As soon as people found out you had cancer, they immediately pitied you.

But that’s all it was.

Pity.

As soon as the treatment failed, or succeeded and you were recovered from surgery, he was sure to drop the divorce papers in your lap, give you a one way plane ticket to Salt Lake City, and tell you he hopes you have a good life.

It’s what any sane person would do.

It’s more than you deserved, to be honest. After everything you’d done in your life…

As you stared at the pills, you debated with yourself.

On one hand, you promised to fight. You promised to see this to the end.

But on the other hand… you knew your track record in life. If you were being honest with yourself, you knew how this would end. And it wasn’t going to end with surgery. It wasn’t going to end with you being cancer free. It wouldn’t even end in remission.

So who were you fucking kidding?

Carefully, you swung your legs out of the bed, ignored the pills, and quietly exited the room. Your bladder was insistent, and, much as you wanted to, you couldn’t hide out in the guest room all day.

As you washed your hands, you stared at yourself in the mirror.

You look like hell, he’d said. And he was right. You lost so much weight that your cheeks were sunken. Sure, cheekbones were sexy, but not like this.

You looked like death. That’s what he should have said. It would have been more accurate. More predictive.

Walking out of the bathroom, you wondered if you should start packing up your shit. Maybe when you told the nurses that you would see them on Monday, that would be the last lie you’d ever tell. From now on, you could tell the truth. You wouldn’t be around long enough to see the fallout that blunt truth would have.

“Hey,” Sebastian greeted, startling you. He was sitting on the guest bed. “You take your medicine yet?”

“No,” you stated, beginning your new truth-telling life. Besides, he could very well see you hadn’t taken the pills, since they were untouched on the bedside table.

He swept the pills into his hand, grabbed the glass of water, and walked over to where you’d frozen in the doorway. “Take ‘em. I grabbed some takeout. It might need to be heated up a bit, but I thought it’d be easy on your stomach.”

“Seb—”

“And I’ll give you my lawyer’s number so he can help you draw up whatever papers you need to give you peace of mind that I can’t be responsible for your debt. That way you can focus on your treatment.” He shoved the glass of water in your right hand and dumped the pills in your left.

“Seb—”

“I’m not arguing with you, Y/N. Take your medicine.”

His eyes were unrelenting, so you huffed a deep sigh and downed the pills.

“Sorry for jumping on you this morning,” he said quietly.

“You don’t—”

“Shut up and let me apologize, Y/N. You were right. I didn’t really understand what I signed up for, but I don’t regret anything. I should have tried to talk to you before I yelled. I shouldn’t have made assumptions.”

“It’s okay,” you murmured.

“No, it’s not. I was wrong, Y/N. I just… When I saw all that, I got scared, okay? And I took it out on you. It wasn’t fair of me.”

What could you say to that? You nodded, hoping he’d accept that response.

Luckily, he did. You let him lead you out to the kitchen and sat on a stool while he set to work heating up the takeout.

“There’s something else we need to talk about,” he hedged.

“Okay,” you whispered.

You’d expected him to explain, but he didn’t say another word until your food was in front of you. Even then, he gave you an expectant look and waited until you took a bite. Once you swallowed, he was satisfied enough to pull out his phone and click around for a bit. “I’m surprised we’ve kept it a secret for so long, but word’s out. Someone saw us in Vegas and took a picture.”

He slid his phone across the counter to you. Right there on Entertainment Weekly’s website was a grainy picture of you, Sebastian, and Elvis in what was unmistakably a Vegas wedding.

“At least they didn’t get a picture of your face, so no one knows who you are.”

“Yet.”

“Yet,” he agreed.

Sebastian reached across the island and tucked your hair behind your ear before cupping your cheek with his hand. When he nudged your face up to look at him, he offered a small, genuine smile. “I’ll get you through this, okay? I’ll take care of the media and whatever shit comes our way from that. You just focus on the treatment.”

All week long, the only time anyone else touched you was when the nurses hooked you up to the machines. So, to feel Sebastian’s hand on your cheek was jarring in a way. It felt good.

You covered his hand with yours and gave him a weak smile.

With a decisive nod, he withdrew his hand and pushed your food closer towards you. “Good. Now eat.”

Your first mistake was telling Sebastian you felt better than you had all week.

It was a mistake because he had interpreted that as I’m definitely feeling up to leaving the apartment on a Saturday night.

And that was how you found yourself sitting in a booth at his favorite diner. No one asked any questions when he asked to be seated at the booth in the back. It was the one that had the most privacy.

As your waitress, Selena took your orders and made small talk, you kept second guessing everything you’d ever said to her. With how often you and Sebastian came here, you’d spoken with the employees here quite a bit. Outside of the hospital staff and Sebastian, they were the people you interacted with the most.

What did they know about you? What had you told them? What could they tell the media, if asked? What details about you did they remember?

“Hey, Y/N.” Sebastian waved his hand in front of your face. “Where’d you go?”

From across the diner, Selena’s laugh drew your attention momentarily.

A quick look around assured you that no one could overhear you, but you still kept your voice low. “Selena has a two year old son who had a cold two weeks ago, which is why she missed work on Wednesday and Thursday. His dad is a slime bag who bolted as soon as Selena found out she was pregnant and she works over 60 hours a week just to give her son, Timothy, what he needs. Timothy likes to be called Tim and his favorite animal right now is the elephant.”

Sebastian raised an eyebrow, clearly not expecting you to say that. “Okay?”

“If I remember all of that about her, what does she remember about me? What could she tell someone else about me? Especially someone who knows how to dig into people’s pasts? I’ve talked to so many people here, and what if they remember something that helps someone figure out who I am—who I was. I know you said you’d take care of the media, but I can’t stop worrying. I’ve told you I have a shitty past and I really don’t want it to ruin your career because trust me, if the gossip in my hometown is anything to go by, people won’t understand what I did.”

Hell, people didn’t even know half of what you did.

Just as he opened his mouth to respond after a moment of considering your words, Selena came back with your food. Besides your orders, she placed two slices of pie on the table. “On the house. Gwen says you look like you need some more meat on your bones and if you don’t want the pie, tough shit.”

Sebastian laughed, and you forced a smile on your face as well. Gwen was the owner of the diner and she was a charming old lady. In the few weeks you’d been here, you realized quickly that she considered Seb like her own family and was very generous towards him. And, by extension, you.

“We wouldn’t dream of saying no to Gwen,” you said, trying not to sound as weak or anxious as you were.

“Good. I don’t want to see her come over and give y’all a piece of her mind along with that pie.” With a wink, Selena turned to take care of her only other table of the night.

When she was out of earshot, Sebastian motioned to your plate and you took a bite of your salad while rolling your eyes. You’d nearly forgotten about his insistence that you eat while he was gone.

“Marvel’s got a great PR team, Y/N. Whatever the media vultures dredge up, they’ll spin it in a good way. When I told you not to worry about the press, I meant it. And if you want to take preemptive action, we can let the PR team know what might come up and they can have a plan in place if people do dig that deep.”

As you fixed your baked potato and took a bite, you considered his words. It made sense. Didn’t mean you wouldn’t worry, though. “I’ll think about it.”

He was curious, you could tell. But you appreciated that he didn’t ask you to tell him what you were so scared of in your past. Maybe he would bring it up again when you were home, in private, but for right now, he changed the subject.

Dinner passed quickly, and when Selena came by to grab the payment, her face was more serious than you’d seen her before. “Thought I’d warn you there are some cameras out front. Brett just came back from his break and said the back way is clear if you wanna avoid them.”

Seb’s eyes darted to yours and you saw his brain turning over as he thought of the best course of action.

“I’ll run your card and be back. Let me know what you wanna do then and we’ll make it work for you.”

She left and Sebastian leaned forward. “What do you think?”

You scraped the last of the apple pie filling from the plate. While your first instinct was to consider every variable and come up with a course of action, you made the conscious effort to push down those thoughts. “You told me not to worry about the press. That’s your job, so I’m going to leave it up to you.”

In the end, you did end up sneaking out the back. Sebastian kept his arm around your shoulder as you walked through the back alley to where Sean was waiting with the car on a side street. As you got into the car, you noticed a camera flash on the other side of the street.

So they patched things up... but can this shaky relationship stand up against the media? And what is she so worried about the media finding in her past? 

Chapter 12: The Second Check-In

[trashbin-mumbling]

Chapter I

Ever since the humans has set a huge fire to the forest, it was marked as one of the biggest tragedy in history.

It has made a few animals go extinct and a few to become endagered.

When all hope was lost, a huge tree grew, and was given the role to protect all animals. The tree provided us with food and protection from the fire -- we called it the Tree of Life. Everyone worked in harmony and no one dared to strike on eachother. And even if they did, they'd get taken away from the Tree of Life.

But then the humans has striked and chopped the tree down after finding out that it was made out of "rare material"

The tree of life was gone.

I was quickly taken away from the area, abandoning my kind. We were the only ones left.

- - - - -

(1ST P.O.V)

I was currently still walking aimlessly in the ruined forests, the scent of ashes and dust was everywhere. It was a horrid smell.

What happened again?.. oh.. right.

I'm lost. I can't remember how many days, weeks, months or years has passed me ever since the Tree was chopped down. I was doing my hardest to survive since I was the only one left in my kind. What were we? I can't remember.

I scanned my areas, all I saw was rubbles, trash, and fallen leaves. Trees being one of them too, It was getting tiring to walk around, so I decided to rest for the night. There was a nearby cave made out of the rubbles and trees, so I rushed over. I was already feeling the adrenaline. It scared me, obviously.

When I rushed over to the cave entrance, I instinctivly placed my hand on the cold surface, just to catch my breath. The texture was somewhat in the middle of rough and smooth. Maybe its because it rained...? Or it was getting mossier, I dont know.

So I crawled under the cave, in hopes I'll live another day to find somewhere to stay.

(Back to 3RD P.O.V)

The fox finally fell asleep under the cool cave, the sounds of crickets chirping and the wind blowing filled the atmosphere. It was peaceful, yet left chills down your spine from the feeling that -- something will pounce and bite.

He was obviously tired and didn't really care much from the noises the bugs emitted, and was in a deep slumber, soon enough, the sound of crunching was heard.

"Hey.. is that a survivor?.."

"Lead the way."

The sounds got louder, and soon enough a sound of something brushing against the cave walls resonated in his ears making him flutter his eyes slowly.

And there he was faced to face with a wolf and swan.

The fox widened his eyes and quickly backed up "S-STAY AWAY!--" The swan gripped on his wrists softly, yet firmly "Sir, please, we won't do such thing. We have come to rescue you." She spoke out in a sweet tone to calm the frightened fox, the wolf simply glanced "Come, we should go back, we're done with our shift for today." The fox struggled out of her grip, but the swan simply gave a soft gaze, as if to say -- It will all be okay.

He stared back and saw genuine concern from the woman, he finally saw the truth and bit his bottom lip, anxiously "I... Im sorry for my behaviour." The wolf didnt reply and simply leaned against the cave, staring. The swan gave a soft smile "its quite alright. I apologize if we did look suspicious. We'll take you somewhere safer, come with us."

[ and so, the fox went along with the two, they walked over the hill, the swan was infront while the wolf was behind. The fox didn't know where he was going but then saw something soar from above.. an owl..? ]

"Cho! Imako!" The swan looked behind her, before glancing up the skies. She spotted the owl boy who was flapping his wings and gave a tired look, his voice was average to a person speaking infront of you, is that supposedly his yell? "Ah, Rowlet! Hows the situation back in Haseika Village?" The fox looked up as well, the owl, presumambly, Rowlet looked rather nerdy, yet at the same time, VERY sleep deprived, he wore a simple beige coat that has some sort of symbols and round glasses.

"Mr. Hagetaka is looking for you and the others. He requests you to come back. The village is currently alright." His voice was.. soft, making the two tilt their head, the wolf behind them walked forward, his ears twitching a bit "Mr. Hagetaka is looking for us. And the village is alright, we should go." The swan nodded before waving goodbye to the owl who then flew off.

Now the fox had questions, he didn't know there was a village. Who was Cho? Imako? Rowlet? Hagetaka?.. the swan seemed to have notice his mood by the way his tail was moving slightly along with his furrowed expression, she simply placed a hand on his shoulder causing him to jump, ever so slightly.

"We'll talk about the situation later, for now. Lets move on forth."

And so they did. The only sound heard was the sound of the leaves crunching each time they took a step, not to mention the harmonious bug's chatters.

It went up for a few more minutes when they finally saw 2 swans and a wolf. The swans was a male and a female, both looking quite the same, only difference being the hair length, while the wolf was still a male, but looked more.. nicer and welcoming. And next to them was a Koala clinging onto the wolf and a fidgety looking otter

"Ahh, Cho!" The male wolf waved at the female, so it looks like he can assume that the wolf was Imako and the swan was Cho. The male wolf surprisingly didn't drop the koala clinging unto him or well. The koala letting go. The two swans simply stared, not really saying much which honestly made the Fox a bit more anxious about them. Imako cleared his throat "Mr. Hagetaka is currently looking for us. We should report back to him."

The wolf gave thumbs up while the two swans simply nodded before holding the otter'a hands, to which he replied by awkwardly being dragged away by them. Cho walked forward and gestured the fox to follow, while of course, Imako stayed at the back.

"Whats the name of the village?" The fox spoke out, voice somewhat parched from lack of water, Cho hummed "Haseika. Its where the new Tree of Life is located." The fox widened his eyes

Tree of Life? "a new one?" Imako grumbled "Leave the questions for later. I'm pretty sure Kireika would happily answer them..." Cho looked over her shoulder, doing a little 'ehem'

He rolled his eyes "Mistress Kireika." The fox still stared, he was intimidated but there is so much going on.

[ it was another long walk, but sooner or later they walked through a tree bridge and through the tree leaves that were still... oddly alive and was finally greeted with the sight of Haseika Village from above. They were on a hill and there in the middle was... ]

"Is that the tree?" The fox pointed at the little bonsai in the middle, Cho giggled along with the cheery wolf "No silly, thats not it."

The two swans pointed at a hill with small opening that was decorated with flowers and had a vine like curtain. The fox just stared before realizing "Ah, so.. through that opening?" The two swans nodded, before going down the small log stairs (still dragging the poor otter) the cheery wolf simply followed, not having a problem about the Koala girl while the 3 went on ahead to follow them.

The fox's eyes glowed in amazement after seeing the beauty of the village. Everyone was seen working in harmony, children were happily chasing eachother, and the scent of simple pastries were from the distance. Who knew that they'd still get lively in the night.

Speaking of pastry, That made the fox's stomach grumble. He hasnt ate much... which is why he can barely remember things. Cho giggled "You're hungry, aren't you?" The fox simple laughed awkwardly "y-yeaah..." Imako stared blankly "Don't worry. Im sure Namake would happily treat your wounds, illnesses, etc etc." Cho nodded at his remark "yeah! Doctor Namake is the best!"

Before they made a turn, a loud booming voice was heard "OI, STOP RIGHT THERE!" the swans and wolves froze and turned around. Along with the survivors. They saw a tall vulture who wore all black and had a far different uniform than the swans and wolves, they all turned to his direction.

"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU ALL WENT?" The cheery wolf gulped while the two swans winced at his voice, Cho cleared her throat "U-Uh.. well Mr. Arukami sent us t--"

"DID HE NOT MENTION ABOUT OUR MEETING?!" the 2 survivors stood there in shock while the Koala woke up rubbing her eyes before sleeping on the ground instead. The vulture grumbled "Agh.. that forgetful little shit. Come. They'll just find their way to the Tree." Cho stuttered a bit, being caught in her sentence while the cheery wolf avoided eye contact, which ticked the Vulture off even more.

"AS FOR YOU, YOKIKA, DONT YOU DARE THINK THAT I DID NOT SUSPECT YOU FOR WRAPPING MY FUCKING STAPLER IN VINES." the now named, Yokika puffed his cheeks out "You'll be doing 300 push ups after the meeting is done. You 5, follow me." The vulture then glanced at the 3 survivors "You 3. You know where the Tree of Life is?" The otter choked on his saliva, while the Koala was still asleep on the ground, the Fox nodded "Y-Yes sir."

The vulture squinted his eyes "You're aware and respectful. I like that. We shall be taking our leave, please respect the Tree." The vulture then left, the way he spoke as if he glossed over his previous behaviour surprises the fox. But now his concern is the tree and the survivors..

"Ah.. well, hey uhm.. what are your names?" The fox glanced over to the two, of course the Koala didnt answer while Otter gasped "Y-you're talking to me..?" The Koala fluttered her eyes open rubbing her eyes "Tsubuya." The otter squeaked "Y-YOU'RE STILL ALIVE?!" Tsubuya stood up lazily and clung onto the fox "Sleepy." The Fox awkwardly carried her, she looked around 9 or 10 The otter looked sround 15 or 17, he was 19.

"A-AH UH.. M-MY NAME IS KAWAUSO- J-JUST CALL ME KAWA- OR UH- WAU-- WELL, UH, ANHTHING I GUESS!" He seemed to be a very.. socially awkward person. The fox nodded "I see uh.. my name is Kit." Kit then looked around "We should probably head for the tree of life." Tsubuya mumbled a quiet -- "Tsutsu" while Kawa nodded rather... aggresively

The path to the tree of life was a bit near, they just had to take a straight walk to the distant viney curtains. The village was still lively and cheerful, the village itself was circled by the mountain walls. But it wasn't that high. Finally, they were greeted by the vine like curtains. The 3 stayed quiet and took a deep breath.

Soon enough they went through the vines, and the sight amazed him, making his heart leap from excitement. The feeling of emotions rushed in once he saw the beauty.

A single island in the middle while the lake around it had flower petals resting on them while a few children slept. And there the tree.. was instead a deer sitting down peacefully with her antlers spread all over the place.

She was the tree. The tree of life.

The fox widened his eyes. While the deer fluttered her eyes open.

"Welcome."

[every1studio]

“not enough for him” [stray kids: minho]

genre: angst with slight fluff

ficstyle: bulletpoints

prompt: “you don’t have anything in common with him... does it even matter if you like him or not?”

note: inspired by 15&’s Jimin’s song, “TO HIM”

“is it even worth liking someone like him?” you’d mumble to yourself as you saw him walking into your classroom

“hey Minho! did you hear that new song from-”

the conversation your classmate Suzy was having with Minho made you zone out

you knew...

out of everybody in the class, he’d never notice someone like you

Suzy on the other hand?

she was pretty, smart, and loved by everyone

she liked everything Minho liked

you?

can’t you just like someone.. just because you like them?

Suzy wasn’t your best friend but you guys were close enough to call each other “friends”

anyways, your class had a partner project to do and your teacher assigned you with Minho

which would’ve made feel all giddy and happy inside

but you had a gut feeling that this wouldn’t make Minho fall for you just because you were his partner 

you met with him at a pretty popular an overly crowded coffee shop

you preferred to be somewhere more quiet but he recommended it 

“you’re.... y/n right? sorry I don’t talk to you in class often...” Minho smiles apologetically as he ruffles the hair on the back of his head

which made your heart tug, “no. it’s okay”

“you want me to get you a latte or a caramel macchiato or something?” he asks after he orders his berry latte

“an iced americano is fine-”

“wow an americano? you like bitter drinks? I honestly can’t handle them.. I like my sugar..” 

you both went back to your table as he goes on and on about some hip hop artists, “you listen to them?”

you slowly shook your head, “I’ve never heard of them..”

Minho sinks in his seat, shocked, “wow.. you must be living under a rock.. anyways lets get this project started..”

to hide yourself away from him, you focused whole-heartedly on the project

“order for Minho?”

you looked up, “I’ll get it”

but he gets up first as he pats your hand, “it’s okay, I got it!”

(stop being so gentlemanly.. it’s bad for my heart) your heart was beating like crazy

when he comes back and hands you your drink, you flinched at the touch of his hand that your drink spilled on you

“oh shit I’m so sorry!!” Minho gathers napkins for you

embarrassed, you shook your head; brave enough to look up at him

“d-don’t worry about it...” 

you couldn’t help but stare at the stain on your shirt

then you saw Minho hand his flannel over to you, “go change into this before the stain settles”

the little things like these got your hopes up

maybe, just maybe

he cares about you

he’ll care about you

you went to the bathroom to change and washed out the stain

it definitely looked like you were wearing a boyfriend’s clothes

when you went back to the table, your smile dropped

you saw Suzy with Minho; both of them we’re laughing as she swipes cream onto his lips

you were about to turn around to hide back in the bathroom when Minho called out to you

“oh y/n!” he smiles as he waves at you

you shuffled back to your table 

Suzy hugged you and Minho, “see you guys at school, I’ll text you Minho!”

he smiles and nods at her as she leaves the cafe

...

without another word, you just continued to work 

“what a coincidence huh? Suzy showing up out of nowhere..”

you tried real hard to give him a genuine smile

“you’re interested in her?”

Minho got pink; hiding his smile with his hand

“is it obvious?”

you’d be lying if you said that you were happy for him

“I’m happy for you... it seems like.. she likes you too,” you bit the sides of your cheek to refrain from bursting into tears

FLASHBACK

you were getting uncomfortable with some guy on the bus on your way home from your part-time job at a quiet cafe 

the guy was standing behind you; grabbing at your waist

he was slowly making his way down as you squeezed your eyes shut

you felt someone walk in between you and the guy behind you

“get your hands off of her, you creep,” with that the guy got off the next stop

when you turned around, you saw Minho standing guard behind you

“are you okay?”

you just started to tear up; you were so scared 

you covered your face because you didn’t want a stranger from your school to see you cry 

you felt him pull you into your arms, “you’re okay.. you’re gonna be okay..”

since that day, you saw him often.. 

you both acknowledged each other 

every word he said to you was crafted with care

but to him, you were just someone who fell in love with his kindness

BACK TO REALITY

you felt like you were about to burst into tears

so you started to pack up your things

“I-I have to go now.. I have to go to work...”  you lied but it was better than feeling like you could never ever have a chance with someone you liked for so long 

“you wanna finish this up tomorrow then? same place and time?” Minho just smiled; unaware of your feelings

“you know, I’m gonna be busy so you can just finish your part and I’ll finish mine.. we can just put it together before we turn it in...”

you left immediately after saying that; you didn’t want to stay any longer

Minho just sat there confused; was it something he said?

you went home 

THE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL

you overheard that Minho was going to confess to Suzy later that day

at this point, you didn’t even want to do the project with Minho

you felt someone tap your shoulder

Minho sat in the chair behind you, “hey, how’s the project coming along?”

“good”

you didn’t want to talk with him

what was the point in trying to talk to your crush if your heart was just going to be shattered?

not that it already is.. but it your heart was already taken out and fed to the vultures 

“yeah so um... you-you’re close to Suzy right?”

you scoffed at him; the only way to have him to stop talking to you.. is to push him away 

as far and as hard as you could

“no.. I’m not.. and I’m not particularly close to you either..”

Minho was shocked by your words; he has always known you as a soft-spoken girl  

you picked up your things and gave him a side glance, “you don’t need me to help you with Suzy... you guys are practically made for each other..”

you had work that day after school

you were a robot most of time you were working

until Minho walked into the cafe with Suzy

why would they come into a small and quiet cafe like this one?

out of all the cafes, why this one?

you turned around and made yourself look busy so that your other co-worker could deal with them

when you turned back around, you saw that the both of them had the same thing

the light pink shade of the drink and the whipped foam on top was none other than the overly-sweetened berry latte

there was never a chance liking someone you didn’t have anything in common with

all of those heart shaking moments...

all of those flushed cheeks..

all of those times you thought you had a chance with him?

those were just a waste of your time and your feelings

“maybe I’m just not enough for him...” you monologue as you sipped on your bitter and black, iced americano

END + [masterlist + guidelines]

[popcornblotter]

My Top 10 Favorite Films of 2017

Good news everyone! No need for intros here, let’s end the year on a high note shall we! Here, we, go!

#10

Writer/Director Sofia Coppola further proves her mastery of filmmaking with The Beguiled. A drama set in Virginia during the Civil War when a wounded Union soldier makes his way to an all girls school in the summer, the Headmistress and students wonder what to do with him, and subsequently find out how he affects their lives.

The biggest standout for me was the lighting and cinematography. Each shot is perfectly well framed as well as only using light sources that would be available in that setting. Candles, lanterns, and the sun brought this ambiance of uneasiness. The location of schoolhouse and it’s surroundings was marvelous as well, transporting you to an almost ethereal bayou of sorts.

Colin Farrell continues to impress as he furthers his career. Bringing an edge of quiet fear, seduction, and anger all within a 95 minute runtime.

#9

I know this film was very divisive for comic book fans, and I can understand some of their qualms, but Justice League was just a heck of a lot of fun.

I loved the coming together of the team, as well exploring a bit into the newer character’s stories. Ezra Miller and Jason Momoa were the standout actors here.

I loved the humor, the interactions between the characters, and man did I love the scene when The Flash knew he was in trouble.

Despite it’s problems, the sometimes not great CGI, I still had fun, and would easily revisit this film again as it made me hopeful for what is to come from DC Films.

#8

The first time I saw this movie, I wasn’t super crazy on it. Did I think it was funny? Yes, but something didn’t quite hit the first time. So after a second viewing, I grew to love this film. While the first Guardians is a little more straight forward, plot wise, stop the bad guys from doing this, and save the day. Guardians 2 is a little less structured, there isn’t a necessary Point A-Point B plot because most of this film is exploring familial relationships. Whether its Peter and his dad, Gamora and Nebula, or Yondu and Rocket. It brings forward the idea that your family doesn’t always have to be blood. And by the time this movie ends, I was a mess.

#7

Blade Runner 2049 was a surprise for me this year. Mainly because I’ve never seen the original. I was curious, it looked cool, I’ve enjoyed director Denis Villeneuve’s work in the past, so I thought I’d give it a shot.

The way this film is shot is extraordinary. You could take any  shot out of this film and have it be a painting on your wall. The sound was so booming and explosive it transported you to this neo-noir Los Angeles. The acting is superb as well, especially the chemistry between Ryan Gosling and Ana de Armas. You felt from the first scene they have that this is a couple who’ve known each other for a while.

My only nitpick with this film is a pro and a con, which is it’s pacing. This film moves much slower than a normal film does these days. It has a very slow pace, which I enjoyed for most of it, because it allowed you to soak in this world with so much to see and hear. But towards the end, when things start coming together, you expect for things to speed up, which they don’t. In that, its very realistic to a world that is far removed from ours. I’d just hoped it would’ve wrapped up a little faster.

Despite that nitpick, I loved this film, its great, and it is genuinely a great mystery that keeps you guessing until the end.

#6

This past July, the web slinging, wall crawler returned to the MCU in a big way.

The biggest achievement of this movie is the cast that is multi-racial, extremely talented, and can make you laugh at a moments notice. Director Jon Watts was able to represent the population of New York with the characters they have, even changing the origins of some to fit the story.

Tom Holland is obviously the standout, being able to be funny, awkward, and charming all in one go. I just loved that we actually got a high school looking Spider-Man. Yes, I know Tom Holland is in his 20’s, but it’s all about what age you can play, not what age you are. Versus Maguire and Garfield, looking like they were both about start investing in 401k’s.

Michael Keaton as The Vulture does a great job, probably being the second best villain, behind Loki. He was able to make you understand where he was coming from and why he was doing what he was doing.

This is a big thumbs up for me that’ll have you laughing all the way through.

#5

All I can say is cool, cool, cool. I’ve been a fan of writer/director Edgar Wright for a bit, and his films always have this top, fun layer that you can appreciate, but then there’s this emotional layer underneath that just hits it home, and Baby Driver is no exception.

Ansel Elgort plays Baby, a get away driver with tinnitus, so to drown out the ringing in his ears, he constantly plays music on old iPods. What comes out of this film is a rollicking good time with all of the great witty dialogue Wright is known for, along some of the best edited action I’ve seen in a film. Since we watch the film through Baby’s perspective, we’re constantly hearing the music he’s listening to, either loud, or droned out. But when the action kicks up, you can’t help but say wow as gunshots and hits are timed perfectly to soundtrack in Baby’s ears. And I’m just a nerd for that kind of stuff.

Ansel Elgort has charm coming out of his ears in this film, and makes you wonder how he isn’t swarmed by women everywhere he goes. You also have a great supporting cast in Jon Hamm, Jon Bernthal, Jamie Foxx, and a small role from Flea of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

If you’re looking for an action flick with a twist check this one out.

#4

With no surprise to myself, Marvel Studios gets another spot on this list with Thor: Ragnarok. I was immediately hooked into this new tone change from the first trailer. Marvel was finally going to let Chris Hemsworth do what he does best, and that’s be hysterical. I think the person to thank for that is New Zealand director, Taika Waititi, who’s known for wacky, off the cuff humor that works brilliantly.

I was hooked within the first minute when Thor is trapped in a cage, talking to someone about how he got there, and they flip the camera, and it’s a skeleton, which then proceeds to drop his jaw. That is the type of ridiculous humor I love. We then get a taste of the awesome action accompanied by Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song. And I was smiling ear to ear like a fool.

While the previous Thor movies have been done with a more serious, Shakespearean tone, this one goes for crazy, balls out, 80’s metal look with almost every frame look like something you’d want painted on the side of a van.

All of the actors were great. Tessa Thompson was great as Valkyrie, I loved the appearance by Benedict Cumberbatch as Doctor Strange, and of course you can’t forget Tom Hiddleston as Loki and his chemistry with Hemsworth. Other great additions were Jeff Goldblum as The Grandmaster and Taika Waititi voicing a rock alien named Korg.

To me this was the tightest made film that Marvel Studios put out, with a crisp runtime of a little more than two hours it’s just enough to make you want more, but not long enough to check your phone.

#3

Anyone who knows me knew this would be on my top 10 of the year. I’m a Star Wars nut! What can I say that I haven’t already? Porgs, porgs, porgs, porgs, and porgs.

If you haven’t seen this film yet, do yourself a favor and get your ass to theater.

#2

I’ll be completely honest here, I didn’t have high hopes for Wonder Woman. At the time, here’s a studio with three movies with mixed results critically, and this one being directed by someone who hadn't made a film since 2003. But I went opening day with some slight chance of hope. And I gladly ate my words.

Words can’t necessarily describe how great a film Wonder Woman is. Patty Jenkins made what some have called a masterpiece in superhero filmmaking. I agree with about 98% of that. My only qualm was that on the second viewing in the theater, I did feel its runtime a little more, which is why it isn’t in the number 1 spot.

Gal Gadot and Chris Pine have a romance that seems practical for the amount of time they spent together, it seemed genuine, and I loved how Diana would call people out on their shit if she thought they were wrong. The No Man’s Land sequence left me in tears of joy at how wonderful everything worked from the cinematography, the music, the acting, the action, just everything.

You can’t miss this one, even if you aren’t a fan of DC characters, this is just a damn good movie.

I wanted to put some honorable mentions that didn’t quite make the cut.

What would’ve been #12

Christopher Nolan’s war film, Dunkirk is a technical marvel. The cinematography is breath taking and the sound scared the shit out of me. I saw this in an IMAX theater and when bullets fired, you never knew where they were coming from until they made contact. This literally made me jump several times throughout. The reason that this didn’t make the top 10 is that none of the characters particularly stood out in any way. I could tell you the names of the actors, but not their character’s names.

What would’ve been #11

The reason It isn’t higher is because I’m not a fan of horror movies. But I was intrigued at all of the critical success this movie was gaining, so I saw it with a few friends.

The reason this movie works as well as it does is because of the writing and the great child actors they got. Aside from Finn Wolfhard, of Stranger Things fame, the rest of these kids were unknown. But damn it if they didn’t knock it out of the park with their acting chops and chemistry. But if it wasn’t for that reason, I probably would’ve left the theater within ten minutes because I don’t do scary well. And as much as I enjoyed this one, I probably won’t revisit it.

And my favorite film of 2017 is

Logan is the perfect combination of my two favorite types of films. Action blockbusters and deep, emotional character pieces. When I went into Logan, I didn’t know exactly what to expect. I’d heard it took some inspiration from some of the comics where Wolverine is an older man, but that was about it. What I got was something that seriously fucked me up.

Like a lot of people, I grew up with Hugh Jackman playing Wolverine since the first X-men film in 2000. And it seemed with each iteration Jackman tried to deepen the character to reveal Logan’s core, instead of just being a mindless killing machine. With this you get the best of both worlds. Jackman stripped Wolverine down to the point it seems like he’s given up and is ready to die. But at the same time we get to see what would actually be the effects of a guy with claws for hands mauling people like an animal, and you learn that in the first few minutes. It is gory, but damn is it awesome!

Patrick Stewart also has a phenomenal performance as a Charles Xavier that we’ve never seen the likes of in the films. His mind wandering, breaking down, plagued by what I assume is the mutant version of dementia or Alzheimer’s. Seeing Stewart’s and Jackman’s near 20 years of working together is heart warming, heart breaking, and brutal.

This film also breeds a new star in newcomer Dafne Keen as Laura. This is a girl who is wise beyond her years as an actress. For about the first half of the film she doesn’t say a word, but you see all the emotion in her face communicated brilliantly. She is definitely someone who will have a prosperous career.

What director James Mangold succeeds with Logan is that he’s able to make a superhero film, but not have it be about something super, per se, but makes it about something everyone can relate to, family. Whether it’s Logan’s relationship to Charles, Logan to Caliban, Logan to Laura, its about the relationships that you grow with and foster when you inevitably have to say goodbye. Mangold was able to make a western, a superhero film, a family piece, a deep character study, an action film. This literally has something for almost everyone. I think Logan is the perfect example of what the superhero genre could and should become.

I’ll be completely honest, like I said before, this movie fucked me up. And I was crying for almost the last five minutes. And for me to cry at a piece of media, whether it be a series or movie isn’t uncommon, but to the degree that I did was what stayed with me. It was a typical silent cry that I usually do with most films I see, but this was uncontrollable, hard breathing, loud noised, ugly face sobbing. When the word “Daddy” is said, I lose it every time.

I guess I didn’t expect to get as attached to this film as I did. But I guess with Jackman playing that character for as long as he did, he sort of became synonymous with that role. I guess it’s to the effect of Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker or Daniel Radcliffe as Harry Potter. But the sendoff Jackman and Mangold give this character is one of pure mastery, sadness, and hope. With the Fox/Disney deal, there is some part of me that wishes Jackman will return as Wolverine for the MCU, but if he doesn’t, that’s fine as well. Because this film is all but perfect to me.

I hope this film gets nominations for Jackman, Stewart, Keen, and Mangold for the Oscars because I think it deserves it because it broke boundaries of what a superhero film could be. And that is why Logan is my favorite film of 2017.

I want to thank you guys for reading this and for the support. Here’s hoping that 2018 will be even better! In the vain of a dumb catchphrase I tried to start years ago, stay tuned for more blotter!

[rayinberkeley]

"Drinking the Sand"

That's pretty much how I'd sum my love life. This is a line from the movie, the 1995 film, The American President. In it, Michael J. Fox's character, Lewis Rothschild, says:

"People want leadership. And in the absence of genuine leadership, they will listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone. They want leadership, Mr. President. They’re so thirsty for it, they’ll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there’s no water, they’ll drink the sand."

The rather cynical, yet truthful response, comes from the president, Andrew Shepherd, played by Michael Douglas:

"Lewis, we’ve had Presidents who were beloved, who couldn’t find a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight. People don’t drink the sand because they’re thirsty, Lewis. They drink it because they don’t know the difference."

That's been me.

There seems to be a reason that Maury Povich has a career, and that's entirely that men refuse to be responsible adults. So goddamned many people never know their father, or at least, are never truly guided by their father. I think the reason the BDSM plays so much with the word "daddy" is because of the absolute desperation so many have to actually know and look up to one.

I didn't know what one looked like. I've always wanted to see what one looked like. And I was so desperate for one that I kept crawling through desserts grabbing whatever would pay me the slightest attention, hoping they'd be that. But honestly, they were mirages. Several couldn't interact in a coherent way of stability with two hands and a flashlight. And I drank sand.

I was drawn to the promise that maybe I'd find something like that. Because trying to meet people is challenging for me. I seem to lack the skill. You may think I don't because I seem normal, but I have no idea how to maneuver through human beings. I can fall for anything. I HAVE fallen for horrible things. I could easily be prone to abuse without seeing it coming. It's scary.

And I don't know how to play the game. People say just go meet people, but it doesn't work like that. You don't go up to people and say, "Hi, let's be friends." They run from that. That scares them. There's some weird game involved, and I don't know how to play it. It's a game with no rulebook. There's no structure involved. It's happenstance. Somehow I always say the wrong thing, if I can bring myself to say anything at all. The end result is no matter what, I end up never coming away with something healthy, or any connection that truly makes me connected with someone. Especially not someone of true worth.

So I crawl through the sands of that dessert, and lately, I can't even find any of those vultures are interested in me. Not even that. Not that I want that. In fact, that's probably a good thing.

I don't understand how any of you do it. I'm simply wired weirdly. Much the same way a dyslexic person is wired differently. And people would tell them to just learn to read, rather than realizing they needed something different than the usual teaching methods. I'm socially dyslexic. I don't get it. "Just go meet people" doesn't work. That's why I hoped for that leadership. That's why I crawled through the dessert so much. But I'm dehydrated now, and I've found nothing to show for it.

If people are tired of hearing me talk about it, that's kind of sad that so many have heard me, yet nothing's happened. That's also how we are. We are the dessert where a person could be screaming for water, and nobody offers a drop. We just say, "I'm sure there's water out there for you." And then we move on.

I'm just saying, there's no leadership. Everyone wants change. Nobody wants to change. And everyone runs away when it's time to step up and lead the change. And it leaves a lot of us at the mercy of the vultures. That's the kind of people we are. So it's no wonder this scene from American President resonates, why we are where we are as a country, and why everyone's bitching about the community, but nobody's doing a fucking thing about it.

We're all standing around, watching each other dehydrate and choke on sand, refusing to dig for water because then we'd have to share it, and nobody wants to do that.

So, for all these people posting to gay kids that if their mom didn't love 'em, they'll be your mom, or if their dad didn't love 'em, they'll be your dad.

My problem with all these posts is that they come from people. On the internet. Let's forget how it was a fad to put "I support the troops" magnets on cars. Where'd all that support go? It was an easy fad. This is too. Vets are dying. None of those people are supporting them. Gay kids will see that. Then they'll try to redeem that promise, and find a people who didn't mean it.

And they don't need another parent disappointing them.

Every time someone promised to be something to me, and then didn't act on that promise, I was crushed all over again. I've been crushed so many times that I'm terrified to try anything.

Don't say it if you don't mean it. Don't pretend you're going to mentor if you don't mean to fucking mentor. Don't say you're going to do something with a person someday if that someday is something you never mean to do... and if you do mean it, YOU come to the person you say it to instead of leaving them to chase after you or wait for you. In fact, just don't say it at all. Just do it if you're gonna or don't do anything like I already know you're going to.

I already know better than to believe in that shit. These kids don't. And I don't want to see them have to be repeatedly crushed like I have been. Don’t be the sand desperate kids drink. Be a leader. My god, please people, step up and be guides and leaders.