#the only difference is my brother hasn’t learned to hide his feelings and tolerate it like me and my sister did

[saphirered]

Tempest Chapter 6: Debts

Long chapter. Finally we get to the Autumn Court. Tensions rise. The High Lord is less than pleased. You can find previous chapters here. Hope you enjoy! 😘

Summary: After failure of his brothers Eris is sent to collect a tithe from what he expects to be some village rat. Instead he meets an enigma and there’s much more to you than meets the eye. You play the same game he plays and he may yet have use for you in his plots against his father. Will he be able to turn you into a pawn or will you be his undoing?

Side by side the two of you walk through the corridors of the Forest House with a brisk pace. Eris knows he could have winnowed right to the throne room but decided that one; making an entrance surely would help him, and two; it gives him more time to gauge you and what might be running through your head. Not like he has any success with the latter. What he reads is a mask of duality. He sees the surface and then he sees through but neither is the truth. His lack of ability to rely on your next course of action might just bring him trouble should you choose to take advantage of it, should you choose to take advantage of him and what you know. It hasn’t gone unnoticed to him every so often your eyes will shoot to the dagger on his belt. With your mask, he cannot tell if you plan to take it and use it on him, someone else, namely his father, or if you’d see how far you can push to make him be the one to wield it. The hairs at the back of his neck rise, the shiver down his spine and goosebumps appear once more. He feels suffocated, cornered even though he’s anything but. He is supposed to be in his element. He is supposed to be in his environment. He is supposed to be in control. Is he?

You steel your face, giving nothing away but a mask of an intimidated commoner. Anyone in passing who’s eyes dare linger see only that; the peasant setting foot in a place they otherwise might never even have had the opportunity to gaze upon. To them you are not but a peasant, dirt beneath their feet. To the servants that run around, they send you looks of pity, thinking you another plaything, or the next in line to become one with a Vanserra’s flames before the day is over. The more hardy ones even look you up and down, determining how much work it’ll be to scrape your blood off the precious floors. You learn quickly what you already assumed to be true; this place is a viper’s nest. You cannot count on anyone, nor have you ever but it becomes more clear. You have no allies in this place. A voice in your mind begs the differ. That little thought pushes you to gaze to your side, see the heir and tells you you could rely on him. You watch him up and down, clocking the dagger on his belt, the nice rings on his fingers, those hands wield flames at his will, and then those eyes, that face, that mask. The voice in your head repeats; you can trust him. You refuse to. You are not at ease. You might be closer to the mask you have put on for the outsiders than you are the mask you show the lordling. You are not confident, you are not sure this will go well. You might have something to fear, to an extend and what you fear is not the burning fires, nor the crack of the whip. What you fear is facing your shortcomings and lacking abilities. You are walking into a viper’s den not on your own terms. You have no way to calculate your moves properly. You’ll have to take a shot in the dark, play it confident and hope for the best. 

“You might think you know everything. You might be confident, but forget not my father will not tolerate anything out of line. He is ruthless and cares not for anything but himself. Behave. Not just for your own sake, but for mine too.” Eris urges you. He speaks below his breath, when the walkway is empty and he knows no listening ears will be wandering. 

“So you’ve told me before. Worry not. I will save your hide this time if it comes to it.” You wink and go to reach for the dagger on his belt. Only when he catches your wrist in a tight grip does he realise you never meant to take it in the first place. You let your own mask drop just a little. 

“I’ll try my best.” He gives you a look that has you roll your eyes at him and his grip on your arm tightens uncomfortably so before it releases again quickly; a silent warning but not just for facing his father, for the nobles coming your way too. “Fine. I’ll behave.” You whisper pulling your wrist from his grip and letting it hang at your side. He takes a breath, steels his gaze once more and ignores the nobles approaching. You step aside, behind him for them to pass with a bow of your head. They ignore you like he does them before you fall back in line beside the Autumn Heir. 

“Can’t say you don’t know how to play obedient peasant.” He mutters. 

“Oh shush. I’ll show you obedient peasant once we make it out of here alive.” You grumble straightening your back once more and pretending that was not a flirt. You’d let them slip through in tense conversation before. They’d been an easy way to lighten the mood. Wether either of you meant something with those comments or not. You just hope he has not caught on to your tension. You have definitely caught onto his.

“Is that a promise?” Eris replies. He’s beginning to peel back the layers of that mask of yours only to realise he’s still looking into a mirror. You feel like he does, or at least somewhat like it. You are worried too. You also don’t know what you might face and you are going in blindly, relying only on past experience he knows nothing of, and the information he’s provided you. It’s a poor scenario. In that he truly realises, you are afraid. Maybe not in a traditional way, for you hold no true fear, but something eats away at you. He knows only what eats away at him; a lack of control over a situation and so he associates the same with you. That’s why you’re tense beneath all acts. He sees you. He does not see the masks you chose to wear, he sees past them, truly past them for the first time since he’s met you. It leaves him with so many more questions than he thought he’d have answered. 

“One way to find out, Eris.” Survive. 

The sentinels flanking the heavy doors to the throne room tense at the approaching heir. Without a word they open the door for him, and you and allow you to pass through. Without a word they close behind you too. You let him take the lead, staying a few pace behind and to the left of him. You keep your gaze low, but from your peripheral you see courtiers. Apparently some gathering is going on. Perhaps that is why Eris chose to bring you in now. Then again, from what you know of the High Lord he cares little about witnesses to his madness. Most courtiers barely cast a glance at you still but some look at your with intrigue, be that because they contemplate how they might use you to their advantage or wonder who you are and why you are staining their precious halls with your filth as if your existence is already enough of an offence. 

“You have returned, my son. And you have brought to me the charge I sent you to retrieve.” Eris stops but a few feet from the platform his father’s throne rests upon and bows his head with that arrogant smirk of success, as he looks to his right, where his brothers stand at the bottom of the steps. The three redheads glare at him first before their eyes burn into you with the promise of death, assuring that they would relish in your pain, to repay you for what disgrace you brought them. You fight the urge to smile and cast them the same expression their eldest brother carries now. 

“I would never dare fail you, father. The peasant is yours.” Eris turns and puts a hand on your shoulder, while his grip might look forceful it’s not. He silently asks you to kneel. You do. Play your part. Even if you bite the inside of your cheek; something that could be brushed off as nervousness, as opposed to gritting your teeth at the fact you’re kneeling in front of this tyrant. Then he steps aside. Not quite to the spot his brothers are, no he is still above them. He stands midway, between where his father approaches you, and his brothers, far enough to be deemed appropriate but close enough to interfere should he have to. Ever the obedient son. The courtiers read this as the typical action of a son, being at his father’s disposal, to protect and aid in the torturing of some poor peasant when called upon. What they do not see, and what Eris neglects to admit to himself, is that he is not there for his father, or to fill a role of his own. He is there for you. He is there to step in should his father decide that relieving you of your head would be a sane and justified impulse. He is there to mediate and assure your survival, not out of duty, or some kind of spellbound effects, nor just because he wants to, but because he feels he has to, because it feels right to him. Any other moment he might argue with himself but now is not the time. 

“I have to say, I’m rather unimpressed. This is the peasant that disgraced my lesser sons? This is the one that tricked and poisoned them? I expected more.” Beron circles you before he stops in front of you. He casts a glance to his ‘lesser’ sons, who are not as trained in hiding their true emotions as their brother is. From the corner of your eye you see one hurt, the other disappointed, and the last seething. You remain quiet either way. Do not speak unless spoken to. You are no fool. You know Beron tries to push you into a mistake, give him a reason to lash out, to show his power, teach you a lesson but he has no lessons to teach, none that you haven’t learned already from far greater beings. Yet he does not know and so you force your body to tense. You even manage a quiver, like some scared little child. That seems to satisfy the High Lord. He grabs your chin and lifts it so you look up at him. 

“I was merciful last time, when you denied me my tithe. Even after I had to send my sons to retrieve it. I thought it a learning moment for them and thus I allowed my eldest choose your punishment. Yet here you are, once again denying what is rightfully mine. Because I am a merciful High Lord, I will give you one chance to explain yourself.” Merciful? Merciful? behind your mask you laugh dryly but your face remains that of a terrified peasant, hardly managing to stay composed. You feel those fingers touch your skin, you feel them burning, and rough, keeping at bay the flames that would consume you should a single word not fit the image of this male. So you construct a story, one that would put his son in a good light, and the others down another peg. You’ll tell a story of truth in essence and essence alone because right now you do not trust your ability to lie to his face and have him not catch you in that lie. 

“I beg for your forgiveness, High Lord. Last week, I was assuring the crops meant for your tithe would be in most pristine quality and ready for harvest but the villagers, they have deemed me a witch. They captured me on my way out. They locked me in a dark cellar, fed me none but scraps as they tortured me to make me admit to crimes I did not commit. You can see the wounds they left upon me yourself. They said I cursed their lands but I hold no such power in my hands, milord. Please you have to believe me!” You summon tears to your eyes, but not even you can make them fall. That is too much to ask, even for you. Still he buys it. Beron relishes at a weak creature at his feet, begging for his mercy. You play the part, just as the lordling had told you. You can gloat later about your acting skills. 

“The witch speaks true, father. The villagers were about to burn her at the stake. Were I but minutes later, they might have succeeded. They’ll be paying for inconveniencing you. Had they not deemed the peasant a witch and imprisoned her, then I am sure she would not have dared think about crossing you twice. Isn’t that right, witch?” Eris intervenes confirming your story before his father finds even the slightest reason to discredit it, call you a liar and burn you on the spot. His father might have been intrigued with your words, the way you play the mewling peasant but how long will that last before he relishes in being the cause of your pain out of petty grievances because regardless of reasons, he did not get what he wanted when he wanted it? Eris won't take the risk. Your eyes, for a brief second dart over to him before they turn back to his father. You contemplated answering immediately, but decide against it because Eris sees you following the script. It makes him realise you might have been witness to many more of these occasions, have observed the many and picked the pieces that might be of use to you later. His father gives you a look; permission to speak.

“Your son speaks true, High Lord. Were it not for him I would be but ashes now. I owe him my life.” That last sentence echoes through the chamber. It dawns on you, it dawns on him and Beron simply smirks. “To prove my loyalty, to you and to your son, I offer you this, if I may?” He lets go of your chin, allows you to reach into your pocket, and pull out the red diamond. Immediately Beron is entranced, his eyes focus on the gem in your palm, watching the light hit it just right, showing how it nearly glows, the cut perfect. 

“Where did you get this?”The High Lord demands, shaking the awe, the obsession with the jewel. 

“It is my namesake’s legacy. My legacy was over not but an half an hour ago were it not for your son. A debt is owed and so I hope to pay a High Lord’s tithe with this jewel so it may show my dedication, my loyalty to this court, if it pleases you, High Lord.” He takes the gem from your palm, inspects it. He watches the flames dance within the gem when his flames reflect the light just right and he muses in approval. You are completely forgotten, Eris is forgotten as are his brothers. The entire court ceases to exist in that moment. They hold their breaths waiting for what’s next. Anticipation is killing. The silence looms. Your eyes dance over to Eris. That single second is the longest of your lifetime but he sees in your eyes; reassurance. Everything will be alright, you tell him. He’s not the one on his knees in front of the monster he calls father. Then he sees, that fear is still there, the one he still can’t fully place. It is still there, yet still you find it within yourself to give him a semblance of reassurance even if it might be a false one. And time continues once more. 

“I accept your offering. Your tithe is paid.” Were you less composed you might have let out a breath of relief but you do not. Instead you clasp your hands together and bow your head deeply.

“Thank you, High Lord. Thank you for your graciousness and mercy.” Were this not potentially life or death you might have gagged at having to speak those words. You got off relatively scat free. Your heart beats in your throat, and you feel a little lightheaded, but this is it. 

“Though, the matter of your debt to my son still remains.” Beron looks to his side. Eris had hoped his father would have ignored this fact, given he called you vermin before, and therefor worthless. He knows whatever comes next, whatever his father demands of him, he will have to go along with. Like his father cannot act a certain way in front of his court, Eris cannot manipulate his father to take a different course of action so blatantly and suddenly with this many onlookers that dissect his every action, every word. If he is caught in a weakness he will suffer the consequences and those are not consequences he’s inclined to pay, no matter what he might sense around you, no matter what values you might hold to him strategically or otherwise. He too has a part to play and he will play it, even if that means over your back. That doesn’t mean he’ll try to find the least incriminating path to keep you on his good side, satisfy his father and assure everyone knows he remains the first son, the heir. 

“I have lands, my cottage, the forest. I have some coin and heirlooms that might interest you and your most gracious son. Anything he might wish for. It is his.”  You try to direct to the material, given Beron’s obsession with the diamond you offered, that he might take the bait but he does not. It’s too risky a move to further direct, because you do not doubt; one misstep and he will lash out. So you tread carefully.

“It is a debt of equal value is it not? A life for a life?” Beron muses. “A life for a life. Such a precious thing. How valuable is a life? What is your life worth?” 

“The life of vermin is worth no more than the dirt beneath our feet, father.” One of the Vanserra brothers speaks up. All too calmly does Beron turn with blank features that promise punishment. It is seen in the response of the poor male, who gulps. He spoke out of turn. He will suffer the consequences. He’s been punished for worse as much as he’s been for less given his response but that does not make the young male’s suffering any less. However terrible he might be himself, having been raised by that very male in front of you and taken his word for gospel, no creature deserves to be offered pain over nurture, from their parent. No child should have to fear the strike of the one that is supposed to love them. No child should be a tool in a larger plot. Sadly such is not the way of this world. And so the son will suffer the strike of the father. 

“You would think the life of one you claim to be a witch, the one that sent you to my feet choking on your own blood for hours no less, without value?” The High Lord snarls. 

“No father. I was obviously mistaken and let my personal distaste for this street rat dictate my words. I was out of place. Forgive me.” The male bows his head in apology, but Beron does not respond to it. Eris knows it well. Apology not accepted for making a fool out of himself, let alone in front of his father’s court. His brother should have known better. Though, he’ll admit he’ll like seeing his brother grovel once more. Payback or no. However terrible it may sound. Once again Eris is reminded of how much those lines have blurred. He truly would relish in his brother’s suffering, if it meant he’d get one step closer to his goal. In that same light, though he sees you; someone he would sacrifice if he had to, but would at least attempt to save, and spare pain if he could. Once he saw his brothers like that too. Once upon a time he was the one tending to their wounds before he would his own. Once he truly did care. Does he still care now? Caring for another creature makes both weak, his father would say. His attention pulls back to the horrid male when that gaze turns back to you and his chest tightens just a little. 

“What is it you do, witch? Do you cast spells and incantations? Do you bestow curses?” You’d scoff were you the one with the cards in your hand. You are not. 

“I am but a humble herbalist. I create concoctions to heal ailments. I make infusions for the fields so they may provide a good harvest.” You do well to ignore the latter two of the High lord’s questions. Eris knows all too well you are no mere herbalist. You know how to use herbs, but your speciality is definitely in other fields. He has seen but a fragment of the power you once wielded, or the semblance of it anyway but even in the state it is now; you still carry that knowledge and that knowledge alone is the stuff that under the right hands could topple empires, if only those around see that value. He does. And that is exactly why he would prefer to keep his father ignorant to your true mind. He is confident you are of the same opinion. perhaps it comes down to the choosing of the lesser evil. But in that train of thought Eris questions; are you truly the lesser of two evils? Because evil comes in many shapes. Evil grows and breeds, shrouds itself in shadows as it does fineries, hides in plain sight and beautiful things as often as it burns villages, and spills blood. 

“Yet you are educated.” More of a statement than a question still you nod. “You have manners, and you speak with a learned mind. Perhaps we might have some use for you here, so you may pay off your debt through service. It would be an improvement to your living situation. If those dull villagers think you a witch, there might not be much of your crops left, nor your home.” He is not wrong. You contemplated the same thing. Your hold over the cottage might already have faded at the lack of your presence but you don’t care. What you need you might recover from the ashes, but that means you’ll have to reach it first and if you are confined here, how can you? What will it look like when you do not fade as fast as lesser fae, or mortals? A life time is a long time for those who live as long as you do. But you can’t say anything, you can’t do anything. The denial of these observations, the refusal of this supposed ‘gift’, it would raise many questions. So instead you might have to plan your escape from another prison. 

“Milord, do you truly think it is wise to bring an so called witch under your roof without any assurances? Without any credibility of character?” One of the nobles from the side argues. Some dare back him, nodding in agreement, but still keep quiet, beyond whispers among their own. You cannot glance through that mask of the High Lord and it takes only a look from the corner of your eyes to say that the heir can’t either. So instead you both must wait in anticipation. 

“I suppose we could just kill her and finish the sentence set out before her. Such a shame but if that is what my court advises.” Beron speaks out loud, raising his hand and summoning a flame burning brighter than you’ve ever been in close proximity to. Your breath catches, your eyes dart to his son looking for him to step in, do something, anything because if not, you will not be held responsible for what you might do next. Last time you were cornered. This time you are left with a fighting chance, or at least go out in a blaze of glory. You’ll do what is necessary. The heir notices.

“I could do with a new personal servant. Especially after my lesser brother broke the last one. Indeed it would be a shame to waste such a pretty face, and skilled hands. At worst she’ll be confined to tend to your kitchens, or gardens if she proves truly incapable.” Eris speaks monotonously,m; bored and indifferent. His father’s flame fades. This is the mask of the High Lord’s son. This is the mask for one who cares so little for life, but is it a mask, he wonders, because were it not you right here, he might just have let it slide. He might have stood back. He is putting himself on the line. He’s taking a calculated risk. He’s the son that wants something, and shows he’s daring enough to take that opportunity. Where his brother spoke out of line, he will demand his own presence and authority to be recognised. 

“Your charge. Your responsibility.” His father steps aside gestures for you to rise to your feet. There’s no further explanation but Eris knows this is as much of an acceptance he’s going to get, and in front of the eyes of the court, this might be considered a victory. His father, for the briefest of moments shares an expression of approval. 

“It would be my honour to serve whatever task you set out for me. I will not disappoint.” You say keeping your head low clasping your hands in front of you as you bow, even if your blood is boiling. You did not sign up for a gilded cage. You did not walk in here to be resigned to the life of a servitude. Inside you are seething to be thought of as less then. You did not sacrifice everything to be nothing in the eyes of these people. The fury within you, so long subdued in your solitude rises and burns bright. If only they knew. One day they might. One day they will know the truth and they will cower in fear like you pretend to do now. One day you might be the one with the axe in your hand and their heads on the chopping block begging for your mercy. That would be the promise of cruelty. That would be the promise of the one that Beron reminds you of so much. That would be the person you would never wish to become so you must quell it.

“I’ve grown bored of the whims of this council. Leave.” Courtiers need not be told twice and scurry out as commanded. The sons remain for but a moment longer. The one who spoke up particularly. The heir is at your side, grabbing onto your arm and drags you along without another word, away from his brothers who’s eyes you feel burning in your back. The crowd disperses, and you follow along halls, walkways and corridors, twisting and turning. Your heart beats in your ears and drowns out the noise of the Forest House. If you had forgotten what adrenaline felt like, you remember it now, but it goes paired with embers of burning fury too. You allow yourself to be passenger in your own body following along the motions, for now. 

Eris doesn’t know what to think. That could have gone so much worse but this was not ideal. He’d hoped to send you back off to wherever you pleased to go but now you had this charade to upkeep and he does not trust you enough to stick to it. He does not trust you at all. But there is that feeling again, saying that his mistrust is misplaced, and he should put his faith in you. He refuses. He’ll go against that irrational gut feeling, and it leaves him somewhat cross with you, even though you had done nothing wrong necessarily. He supposes you are just as discontent with your predicament as he is. What comes next? A conversation is in order. Your bargain still stands and while this is less than ideal, Eris will not deny the benefits of your presence here, so he might truly use you as a pawn. You’re on the board now and he has no intention of taking you off it any time soon. At the end of the day you have yet to outlive your usefulness, his mask, the dark part of his mind says. It is true. But another side claims; the safe haven you offer, is within hand’s reach now, as opposed to miles away, as only a taste of freedom and security, truth, for a few hours at most. 

[theamazingannie]

Spent four years studying psychology, including childhood development, only for everything I say regarding the subject to be dismissed because I don’t know what I’m talking about

[sindulgence66]

MC wants to leave

Request from @imamonster456

Summary: After the brothers found out MC was Lilith’s descendant, MC slowly started feeling more like a replacement instead of just being themselves. Loneliness started to consume them, and one day they finally decide to just leave, without consulting any of the brothers before.

Warnings: Angst, cursing

Characters: 7 brothers, GN!MC

THIS WAS GOING TO BE PURELY SHORT HEADCANONS BUT I GOT CARRIED AWAY IM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU STILL LIKE IT

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Lucifer

It never crossed his mind that he could be causing you so much pain. In fact, it was the last thing he wanted to do. He hated seeing you hurting for whatever reason, but this time… he couldn’t even notice how much pain and discomfort he was causing you.

A tiny voice at the back of his head started yelling at him in an attempt to make him notice; but it didn’t happen

Not until one night he walked up to your room after you didn’t show up to dinner for the fourth time in that week and he saw you packing up your belongings

Almost scared to ask, he spoke up in an almost broken voice “MC, what’s going on?”

You didn’t answer, and he was taken aback at this. He hesitantly walked up to your figure and tried to reach out to you, freezing when he heard your voice telling him to stop.

“Just stop, Lucifer. Please.”

You sobbed, and he simply stood in his place, looking at you without understanding a single thing

“Did someone hurt you? Did any of my bro-…”

“Cut of the bullshit”

Silence filled the room as you turned around to face him, your reddened eyes staring directly into his

“I will not tolerate being a replacement for Lilith. Lilith this, Lilith that… what about me? Ever since you guys found out I was her descendant you haven’t done anything but treat me as if I was her!”

“MC…”

He wasn’t really sure wether to be angry at you for rising your tone against him, or to be ashamed for being called out on his behaviour

“You were my happy place, Lucifer. I was so happy with you and your brothers… I finally felt like I belonged somewhere, and you do this?”

Silence filled the room, and it was only broken by the sound of your suitcase closing.

Mammon

He was so excited to go to your room to show you how much he had won while gambling, but his plans were shattered the moment he saw Lucifer there too.

And when he noticed you had packed all your belongings? He gulped audibly as confusion took over his body

“O-oi, what’s going on here? Where are ya goin’, human?”

“Please move, Mammon”

“MC?”

He locked his eyes with yours, trying to understand the situation. However, in his mind, there was no reason for you to want to leave them, right?

“Wait, I’m sure whatever the problem is it’s not that important!”

“Not that important…?” You scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief. How could they be so cruel?

He remained silent, not quite getting why you were so upset.

“Is it not that important that I stopped being myself to you all? Is it not important that you started treating me so differently ever since you discovered I was her descendant?” Your voice raised it’s tone unconsciously “It feels like I’m dead for you! I’m not Lilith, and I’ll never be, but you can’t seem to get that in your fucking heads!”

Guilt.

That was the only thing Mammon could feel at that moment. He was so excited about having a part of Lilith with them again that he completely forgot about you.

“So please, just let me go, Mammon. I can’t stand living here any longer.”

“No! C’mon MC, we can get over this, right? You don’t have to leave!”

Leviathan

A bit reluctantly, he came out of his room after he heard yelling coming from your room.

He thought it was probably just another stupid fight with Mammon for something he had done.

Oh, how wrong he was.

“I’m not Lilith, and I’ll never be, but you can’t seem to get that in your fucking heads!”

His heart shrunk instantly when he heard those words coming out of your mouth. Soon, and attracted as well by the yelling, the rest of his brothers showed up too.

Gathering all the courage he had in his body, he stepped into the room and spoke up.

“MC, we know that, it’s just-…”

“You know that? You do? Then it’s even worse!.” You laughed, tears starting to form in your eyes. “You know I’m not her, yet you still have even called me by her name. I’ve done nothing but try to help your petty asses to get along and be a real family and this is what I get? I’m tired of this. I hate this.”

Levi shut his mouth. He didn’t expect you to snap against him too, but he deserved it. They all did.

“Do you have any idea about how I’ve been feeling because of you? Do you realize how hurt I am? You replaced me in less than a day! Satan is the only one who hasn’t been a dick!”

Satan

Rage.

Against his brothers, against himself for not stopping them…

He just felt rage.

At that moment, he loathed his brothers, and Lilith too. He loathed them for making their human go through so much pain.

Him being the only one who never had contact with Lilith, of course he was enraged. The MC wanted to leave because their sorry excuses of brothers couldn’t get their shit together and made them feel like they were just a replacement?

Slowly, he walked up to your trembling figure, his arms extended to show you he meant no harm.

Without hesitation, you hugged him tightly and hid your face against his chest, wanting to disappear from the sight of the brothers.

“Are you realizing just now all the harm you’ve caused them?” Satan snarled at them, protecting you in his tight embrace

Asmodeus and Mammon made the attempt to get close to you, but he immediately stopped them. In his eyes, they had no right to want to fix things at this point.

“I hate you… I hate you…” You sobbed against the chest of the fourth born, your words directed to the other six brothers that had broken you while the blond rubbed circles on your back.

Asmodeus

“Darling, we had no idea…”

“EXACTLY!” The sudden yelling made him take a step back.

“You didn’t even notice… that’s exactly the problem…” Your voice cracked, as you finally got the necessary strength to look at them once again, tears streaming down your face.

He lowered his gaze to meet the floor, feeling his own eyes starting to gather tears.

“I’m sorry…”

By now, he had been the only one who actually apologized.

“Take me out of here, Satan, please” your broken voice rang painfully in his ears, and all he wanted to do was hug you and kiss away all the tears

But he knew he fucked up

They all did

They were so happy to have a part of their little sister back with them, they forgot you were… you. That you weren’t really a part of her, nor were a replacement for her.

Beelzebub

Probably, the one that was feeling the worst along with Belphie.

They were the closest with Lilith, so when they found out…

Happiness had blinded them, and now they were paying the price.

He didn’t even talk; he felt like he had no right to do so. And probably it was true.

Maybe he and Belphie were the main culprits of the entire situation.

He deeply appreciated you, how could he do this to you?

“MC…” Your name escaped his lips, and seeing you shake your head just by listening to his voice broke his heart.

“No.”

…

“Don’t even say anything.”

Belphegor

He knew it was his fault.

You had all the right to hate him.

Not only did he kill you, but it was also his fault that everyone in the house started treating you differently

If he hadn’t killed you, would’ve they discovered about you and Lilith?

“And you…” When your gaze landed onto him, he felt a shiver run down his spine.

“You killed me because you missed your sister. Then you learned I was related to her, and suddenly you were so nice to me, even though you never apologized about murdering me?”

He took a step back, trying to hide himself behind Beel.

“I will never forgive you, Belphegor.”

“MC, I…”

“Please, just take me out of here” You sobbed, and Satan helped you without hesitation, leaving the six brothers alone in your room, knowing that it was too late for them to do something to fix things.

[dotthemagpie]

A weather-beaten Journal

The world gone to shit, it has Fallen.

A virus have knocked out most of the humanity and in a bid to survive had to fall into “serfdom".

The monsters starts to live out on Farms, and our favorite have one such farm.

The virus that knocked out humanity have the potential to turn monsters Feral, making them more like beasts than Monsters.

One day a servant finds a red and black journal, stained with yellow spots and smelling vaguely of mustard.

Since she was done with her tasks for today she decided to find a secluded corner and started to read.

Dec 16th, 6 years after the Fall

** **

My bro got the virus. He have been trying to hide it, trying his best to control himself, but today he lashed out and killed five servants when they got on his nerves. He growled and snarled like a beast, using his fang to tear out the throat of two of them before tearing the other three apart._

It is soulrending to see him act like this. He has already chosen a spot for himself in the barn, making himself a proper den before he loses his mind to his feral side. (There are smudges on a few words, as if tears had fallen while the person were writing it.)

…We are eating lasagna tonight, and it is the tastiest lasagna I have ever eaten. It seems like my bro have suddenly become the perfect chef. Not even Black, the critical fucker were praising the food a lot. Puzzle even said that he could never make a lasagna as good as that.

Skull devoured one and a half himself and pouted like a wounded puppy when he didn’t get any more.

My bro was so proud.

**Dec 20, 6 atf **

He tried to attack Blue today. Went right for his soul. Stretch almost killed him, and I had to beat the fucker until he learned that no one touches my lil’ bro. Blue just brushed it off like the damn tank he is, saying that it was his fault for getting too close to his room.

We had a meeting afterwards. Vanilla said that bro had to stay in the barn from now on. I almost beat the bastard, but I can’t deny it any longer. Edge has turned completely Feral. 

(There are a few more blotches of faded tears on the edge of the page.)

** Dec 22, 6 atf **

The snow falling is nostalgic, although it is white instead of gray like it was Underground. Edge has settled in the pen, only letting me, Papyrus or Puzzle close. Papyrus is a literal ray of sunshine that he somehow tolerates, and he seem almost afraid of Puzzle, even though he is the kindest of them all. 

He seems to remember who we are, but it is if he is more instinct than monster now. No wonder we call it the Feral Virus. Humans often die when they get it, but if they survive they turn immune. 

** Dec 23, 6 atf **

Those fucking slaves. Throwing shit and manure on my bro? They have a fucking death wish.

I now know why my bro always been so nervous around Puzzle. Watching that smiling tall freak cut the throats of those humans like they were cattle shows how different he actually is from Papyrus.

I almost forget how both he and Skull survived a hell that was far worse than me and my bro lived through.

We gave the last slave that acted up, the leader to Edge. It was… liberating watching him play with him like a cat does with a mouse. I made all the servants watch, to show them what happens when they think that our kindness is a sign of weakness.

**Dec 24, 6 atf **

Merry fucking Gyftmas.

** Feb 12, 7 atf **

Black got himself a Pet. A cute little thing with attitude like no other. He seem to enjoy the distraction, and her need for cleanliness around her seem to get his approval.

Heh, he almost tried to kill me when I started to flirt with her. Fine fine, I get it, she is yours you caffeinated, uppity bitch. 

** July 2nd, 7 atf **

Skull is turning Feral. It was hard noticing due to his wound and how quiet he tends to be, but he has become more and more territorial recently, and he even tried to bite Rus when he shortcutted too close to him.

Vanilla and I started looking for a cure the moment Edge started to show symptoms, but we had no headway so far.

**July 4th, 7 atf **

… I saw Puzzle cry in the kitchen last night when I went to look for some mustard. Black was there, trying his best to comfort him.

…I understand how he feels. When I visit my bro it feels like he doesn’t truly recognize me anymore. It hurts my soul.

July 15th, 7 atf

Skull moved into the barn. He took the largest one, as far away from Edge as possible, in order to not start any fights.

Smart of him, because my bro is territorial to a fault.

In other news, my bro has allowed Blue into the pen, and seems to enjoy his company from time to time.

Blue has decided to become the one to care for those that turn Feral, like the fucking goody two shoes he is.

Of course Stretch did not like this, and for the first time I saw them fight, loudly. Stretch hasn’t left the sheep pen in two days since the fight.

Rus and Puzzle delivers food to him, but when they come back they look like he had been mean as fuck to them.

Maybe I should tell Skull that Stretch has been cursing out Puzzle. He hasn’t turned completely Feral yet, and it would be good for the research… and put that lanky fucker down a few pegs….

Fucking Vanilla laughed at the idea, but said it would not be good if Stretch died. I don’t want to take care of the sheep, they freak me out, and Sans is always stuck in his lab, so he can live.

Aug 14th, 7 atf

…I think I am turning Feral.

There is a urge in my mind, like a fire of… something in my mind.

I told Vanilla, and he seemed to age in front of my eyes. He asked me to fight it as long as possible, and write down all the symptoms that I get.

I have already started a separate journal, writing down everything that happens to me.

I hope that it will help in some way at least.

I am going to treat this like a extra long vacation, if anything I will be finally sleeping as much as I want.

Although if Blue tries to do those exercises he does with Edge I will fucking blast him to pieces. 

 sep 3rd, 7 atf 

…I have to move to the barn.

I am nearing my heat, and I almost went after Black’s Pet.

I held myself back before I did anything, with the help of Puzzle distracting me with his talk about food.

The girl is a sweet one, giving Black the peace he needed from that Hell Underground we both have lived through.

I may be a asshole, but I would never hurt his beloved little Pet willingly. Not even I would go so far.

Luckily she sees me like the perverted, teasing other master, and I will make sure that is how she will remember the non feral me.

If you ever read this girlie, know that what I do as a Feral is not the real me. I would never hurt family by my own will.

sep 9th, 7 atf

This will be my last entry in this journal.

I have chosen my pen and renovated it to my liking.

I took the one between my bro and Skull, because I have to be close to my bro, and I don’t mind Skull. 

There is splotches of tears on this page.)I will never admit it, but I am scared of losing myself. What if that vanilla bastard never finds a cure? What if he gives up? What if I hurt anyone? What if I dust myself, or my own brother?

I hope when I return from my “vacation”, it won’t be too far in the future. One of the few perks being a Boss monster, not aging until we die.

Red out, going on vacation.

[sindulgence666]

MC wants to leave

Requested from imamonster456

Summary: After the brothers found out MC was Lilith’s descendant, MC slowly started feeling more like a replacement instead of just being themselves. Loneliness started to consume them, and one day they finally decide to just leave, without consulting any of the brothers before.

Warnings: Angst, cursing

Characters: 7 brothers, GN!MC

⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁ ⁎ ⋆ ❃ ⋆ ⁎ ❁

Lucifer

It never crossed his mind that he could be causing you so much pain. In fact, it was the last thing he wanted to do. He hated seeing you hurting for whatever reason, but this time… he couldn’t even notice how much pain and discomfort he was causing you.

A tiny voice at the back of his head started yelling at him in an attempt to make him notice; but it didn’t happen

Not until one night he walked up to your room after you didn’t show up to dinner for the fourth time in that week and he saw you packing up your belongings

Almost scared to ask, he spoke up in an almost broken voice “MC, what’s going on?”

You didn’t answer, and he was taken aback at this. He hesitantly walked up to your figure and tried to reach out to you, freezing when he heard your voice telling him to stop.

“Just stop, Lucifer. Please.”

You sobbed, and he simply stood in his place, looking at you without understanding a single thing

“Did someone hurt you? Did any of my bro-…”

“Cut of the bullshit”

Silence filled the room as you turned around to face him, your reddened eyes staring directly into his

“I will not tolerate being a replacement for Lilith. Lilith this, Lilith that… what about me? Ever since you guys found out I was her descendant you haven’t done anything but treat me as if I was her!”

“MC…”

He wasn’t really sure wether to be angry at you for rising your tone against him, or to be ashamed for being called out on his behaviour

“You were my happy place, Lucifer. I was so happy with you and your brothers… I finally felt like I belonged somewhere, and you do this?”

Silence filled the room, and it was only broken by the sound of your suitcase closing.

Mammon

He was so excited to go to your room to show you how much he had won while gambling, but his plans were shattered the moment he saw Lucifer there too.

And when he noticed you had packed all your belongings? He gulped audibly as confusion took over his body

“O-oi, what’s going on here? Where are ya goin’, human?”

“Please move, Mammon”

“MC?”

He locked his eyes with yours, trying to understand the situation. However, in his mind, there was no reason for you to want to leave them, right?

“Wait, I’m sure whatever the problem is it’s not that important!”

“Not that important…?” You scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief. How could they be so cruel?

He remained silent, not quite getting why you were so upset.

“Is it not that important that I stopped being myself to you all? Is it not important that you started treating me so differently ever since you discovered I was her descendant?” Your voice raised it’s tone unconsciously “It feels like I’m dead for you! I’m not Lilith, and I’ll never be, but you can’t seem to get that in your fucking heads!”

Guilt.

That was the only thing Mammon could feel at that moment. He was so excited about having a part of Lilith with them again that he completely forgot about you.

“So please, just let me go, Mammon. I can’t stand living here any longer.”

“No! C’mon MC, we can get over this, right? You don’t have to leave!”

Leviathan

A bit reluctantly, he came out of his room after he heard yelling coming from your room.

He thought it was probably just another stupid fight with Mammon for something he had done.

Oh, how wrong he was.

“I’m not Lilith, and I’ll never be, but you can’t seem to get that in your fucking heads!”

His heart shrunk instantly when he heard those words coming out of your mouth. Soon, and attracted as well by the yelling, the rest of his brothers showed up too.

Gathering all the courage he had in his body, he stepped into the room and spoke up.

“MC, we know that, it’s just-…”

“You know that? You do? Then it’s even worse!.” You laughed, tears starting to form in your eyes. “You know I’m not her, yet you still have even called me by her name. I’ve done nothing but try to help your petty asses to get along and be a real family and this is what I get? I’m tired of this. I hate this.”

Levi shut his mouth. He didn’t expect you to snap against him too, but he deserved it. They all did.

“Do you have any idea about how I’ve been feeling because of you? Do you realize how hurt I am? You replaced me in less than a day! Satan is the only one who hasn’t been a dick!”

Satan

Rage.

Against his brothers, against himself for not stopping them…

He just felt rage.

At that moment, he loathed his brothers, and Lilith too. He loathed them for making their human go through so much pain.

Him being the only one who never had contact with Lilith, of course he was enraged. The MC wanted to leave because their sorry excuses of brothers couldn’t get their shit together and made them feel like they were just a replacement?

Slowly, he walked up to your trembling figure, his arms extended to show you he meant no harm.

Without hesitation, you hugged him tightly and hid your face against his chest, wanting to disappear from the sight of the brothers.

“Are you realizing just now all the harm you’ve caused them?” Satan snarled at them, protecting you in his tight embrace

Asmodeus and Mammon made the attempt to get close to you, but he immediately stopped them. In his eyes, they had no right to want to fix things at this point.

“I hate you… I hate you…” You sobbed against the chest of the fourth born, your words directed to the other six brothers that had broken you while the blond rubbed circles on your back.

Asmodeus

“Darling, we had no idea…”

“EXACTLY!” The sudden yelling made him take a step back.

“You didn’t even notice… that’s exactly the problem…” Your voice cracked, as you finally got the necessary strength to look at them once again, tears streaming down your face.

He lowered his gaze to meet the floor, feeling his own eyes starting to gather tears.

“I’m sorry…”

By now, he had been the only one who actually apologized.

“Take me out of here, Satan, please” your broken voice rang painfully in his ears, and all he wanted to do was hug you and kiss away all the tears

But he knew he fucked up

They all did

They were so happy to have a part of their little sister back with them, they forgot you were… you. That you weren’t really a part of her, nor were a replacement for her.

Beelzebub

Probably, the one that was feeling the worst along with Belphie.

They were the closest with Lilith, so when they found out…

Happiness had blinded them, and now they were paying the price.

He didn’t even talk; he felt like he had no right to do so. And probably it was true.

Maybe he and Belphie were the main culprits of the entire situation.

He deeply appreciated you, how could he do this to you?

“MC…” Your name escaped his lips, and seeing you shake your head just by listening to his voice broke his heart.

“No.”

…

“Don’t even say anything.”

Belphegor

He knew it was his fault.

You had all the right to hate him.

Not only did he kill you, but it was also his fault that everyone in the house started treating you differently

If he hadn’t killed you, would’ve they discovered about you and Lilith?

“And you…” When your gaze landed onto him, he felt a shiver run down his spine.

“You killed me because you missed your sister. Then you learned I was related to her, and suddenly you were so nice to me, even though you never apologized about murdering me?”

He took a step back, trying to hide himself behind Beel.

“I will never forgive you, Belphegor.”

“MC, I…”

“Please, just take me out of here” You sobbed, and Satan helped you without hesitation, leaving the six brothers alone in your room, knowing that it was too late for them to do something to fix things.

[bloody-bee-tea]

Your lan Quiren defending Jiang cheng fics, ARE THE BEST. I DIDN'T KNOW I NEEDED THEM TILL I READ THEM. THEY ARE FANTASTIC. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING THEM!! If it were up to me I would read 30 different stories about Lan Quiren being the real father figure JC rightfully deserves. Pleasw please could you continue with the moder!AU, in which LQ offers his house in case JC ever needs it? I just need a continuation based on JC going to LQ home and having some hurt/comfort.

Thank yoouuu

Anon: Please please can we have a continuation for that moder Au fix with JC and Lan Quiren?? My heart exploded from all the love. I just want good things for Jiang Cheng. 💚💚. 

Anon: With JC day 7 all I can think about is the next family meal when LX and LW come over just to find Jiang Cheng setting the table 

JC Love Month 2020 Day 17

Loneliness and Thoughtfulness

It seems like this idea was really popular, since three people asked for a continuation of this, so have at it ;) Day 17 of JC Love Month brings more found family with Lan Qiren, who continues to drag Jiang Cheng into his own home, and this time even his nephews get in on this as well. It follows JC Love Month 2020 Day 7.

Jiang Cheng is not at all surprised when Wei Wuxian bounds up to him during one of their breaks.

“Listen, Jiang Cheng,” he starts and Jiang Cheng is rolling his eyes at him before he even goes on.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, you’re not coming home tonight,” he says and he tries to hide just how much that hurts.

Ever since the last fight Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian got into, Wei Wuxian has unofficially moved in with Lan Wangji and his brother. He only comes home sporadically to get some of his shit, but he never actually brings it back home again, and Jiang knows that it’s only a matter of time until he announces officially that he’s moving.

Jiang Cheng is not looking forward to that day.

Jiang Yanli has moved in with Jin Zixuan much more officially and she even cleared out her old room. She barely drops by anymore, not that Jiang Cheng can blame her much, and instead opts to invite Wei Wuxian and him to her new home.

She hasn’t invited Jiang Cheng in almost a week and he tries to not let that get to him.

But when he’s sitting in his own room, the whole house quiet and empty, because his siblings moved on and his parents simply don’t care enough to come home, it’s hard to pretend that everything is alright.

Jiang Cheng has only seen his parents once since he got the cast on his wrist and he’s not entirely sure they didn’t just buy a new house and simply forgot to mention it to Jiang Cheng.

He wouldn’t put it past them.

“You’re right!” Wei Wuxian excitedly says and brings their shoulder’s together. “Will you be okay?” he then asks, much more subdued and he lightly taps the cast still on Jiang Cheng’s wrist.

“Of course I will be,” Jiang Cheng scoffs, even though he’s not sure about that.

Cooking with one hand is damn hard and for the past few weeks when he’s been alone at home—which he is more often than not—he opted to eat take-out or prepared dishes.

It’s not the healthiest lifestyle to have, Jiang Cheng knows that, but the loneliness is getting to him and he can’t get himself up to cook anything, less alone do it with only one hand.

“Good,” Wei Wuxian says, clearly not picking up on Jiang Cheng’s lie and then his gaze strays over to Lan Wangji.

“Go over there already,” Jiang Cheng huffs out, already annoyed with the love sick gazes they throw each other even though there are only a few tables between them.

“If you say so,” Wei Wuxian beams as if he needed Jiang Cheng’s permission to leave his side and then he’s already gone again.

Jiang Cheng stares down at the food in front of him and it feels like the key in his pocket is burning a hole into the fabric.

He knows he could go over to Lan Qiren’s place, but Jiang Cheng doesn’t want to do it too often. He’s scared Lan Qiren will get fed up with him rather quickly if he shows up there every other day, and so Jiang Cheng has tried to limit himself to only go there once or twice a week.

It’s not nearly as often as he wants to go there but he figures it’s better than nothing.

With how today is going, he might have to make use of the key again, because for the first time this week his parents were home during breakfast and while his father didn’t spare him a glance, his mother berated him about how long it’s already been with the cast and she made an appointment to get it taken off.

Jiang Cheng is pretty sure the doctor in the hospital told him it would take six weeks, and it’s barely been four, but he didn’t dare to argue with his mother.

And now Wei Wuxian isn’t coming home either, and Jiang Cheng can think of nothing worse than to go back there; either to an empty house or to see his parents, so really, that only leaves him one choice.

“Dinner is at six,” Lan Qiren suddenly says from behind Jiang Cheng and he wonders where he materialized from. “I expect you at four, so you can help me prepare it.”

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng says through the lump in his throat because he has seen Lan Qiren cook before.

He doesn’t need any help; doesn’t even accept it because he prefers to do it on his own, so clearly, this is only for Jiang Cheng’s benefit.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t make a detour home after class, because a few of his own things have migrated to Lan Qiren’s places as well; mostly stuff he needs to sleep in case he ever stays over again so Jiang Cheng doesn’t need to pick anything else up.

When he gets to Lan Qiren’s house, it’s still dark, so Jiang Cheng uses the key to let himself in. Once inside he sees light from Lan Qiren’s study and Jiang Cheng has to take yet again a moment to himself.

Lan Qiren deliberately let him use the key again, so that Jiang Cheng can see that it’s still working, that Lan Qiren didn’t change the locks or anything else completely ridiculous that Jiang Cheng can’t stop fretting about and Jiang Cheng presses his eyes closed for a second.

Jiang Cheng almost opens his mouth to yell “I’m home” but in the last second he bites his lips.

He shouldn’t take liberties, he shouldn’t assume. It’s not a home; it’s shelter at best.

“Ah, you’re home,” Lan Qiren says just at that moment, completely wiping Jiang Cheng’s mind blank but Lan Qiren doesn’t seem to notice.

“Keep me company in the kitchen,” he says and Jiang Cheng nods before he trails after Lan Qiren.

“I can help,” Jiang Cheng offers, despite knowing how this will go and Lan Qiren sends him a very pointed look that tells Jiang Cheng to shup up, sit down and do his homework.

Jiang Cheng does exactly that.

Lan Qiren is an efficient man in the kitchen and it’s not long before everything is ready; he’s certainly done faster than Jiang Cheng is with his homework.

“Do you have a problem?” Lan Qiren asks when he turns around and sees Jiang Cheng frowning down at his book and Jiang Cheng flushes.

He shouldn’t need help with this; they covered it in class, Jiang Cheng remembers it, so he should be able to figure it out for himself.

“Let me see,” Lan Qiren demands and comes around to look over Jiang Cheng’s shoulder.

“It’s this problem,” Jiang Cheng whispers and points at the passage that trips him up.

Lan Qiren reads it over and then he turns a few pages back, pointing at an entirely different passage. Jiang Cheng reads it over and finds that it’s exactly what he needs to solve the problem he’s working on.

“I’m sorry,” Jiang Cheng whispers, expecting to be scolded like his mother used to do when she was still overseeing his homework, but Lan Qiren only shakes his head.

“Homework is there to learn, there’s no need to be sorry for not immediately understanding a concept,” he gives back and Jiang Cheng can only stare at him.

No one ever actually told him that it’s okay to not get things on the first try and Jiang Cheng ducks his head.

“Thank you,” he whispers and that seems to please Lan Qiren much more.

“Finish up here, and then set the table,” he says, squeezing Jiang Cheng’s shoulder, who nods. “We’ll be four people tonight.”

“Four?” Jiang Cheng blurts out and he goes cold.

“My nephews will come over for dinner today,” Lan Qiren says as if nothing is wrong with that and Jiang Cheng scrambles to get his things together.

“I’ll get out of your way, I’m sorry for intruding today,” Jiang Cheng rushes out, his heart heavy in his chest and he only stops his frantic movements when he realizes that Lan Qiren is staring at him.

“What are you doing?” he demands to know and Jiang Cheng looks down at his book, so he doesn’t have to meet his eyes.

“Getting out of your way,” he lowly says. “Leaving you to your family dinner.”

“Four people, Wanyin,” Lan Qiren reiterates and Jiang Cheng briefly wonders if Wei Wuxian is allowed to come.

He and Lan Wangji are certainly at the boyfriend meets parents stage of their relationship.

“And I don’t mean Wei Wuxian,” Lan Qiren then says and Jiang Cheng’s head snaps up.

“I can stay?” he unsurely asks, because surely Lan Qiren would want to be alone with his nephews but when Lan Qiren nods he sinks down on his chair again.

“Oh, okay,” Jiang Cheng whispers.

“Family dinner is for those I want to have around,” Lan Qiren says, and now he’s not quite meeting his eyes anymore. “And that includes you.”

Jiang Cheng’s eyes immediately start to burn and he’s so tired of always bursting into tears when someone is nice to him, but he can’t help himself.

He didn’t have a chance to build up a tolerance for it yet even though Lan Qiren is very relentless in trying to rectify that.

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng says once he’s sure that his voice will hold and he turns back around to his homework.

He’ll get it done and then he’ll set the table, just like Lan Qiren asked of him.

~*~*~

When the doorbell rings, Jiang Cheng flinches. He thought Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen would have a key but maybe it’s just common curtesy for them to announce their arrival differently.

“You have a key, so you will use it,” Lan Qiren tells him before he marches off and Jiang Cheng sits back down again.

There are low murmurs and then Lan Qiren leads his nephews into the room. They both freeze when they see Jiang Cheng at the table.

“I wasn’t aware we’d have company this evening,” Lan Xichen mildly says though he gives Jiang Cheng a small smile.

When Lan Wangji only stares at him, he sinks further into his chair.

“Wanyin will attend family dinners from now on,” Lan Qiren decides and Jiang Cheng’s eyes get big.

He had thought this would be a one-time thing.

“Alright,” Lan Xichen says easily and then goes off to help his uncle carry the dishes over to the table, something Jiang Cheng can’t do yet, because of the cast on his hand.

“Wei Ying said you went home,” Lan Wangji says after he sat down, a small frown on his face and Jiang Cheng shrugs.

“I didn’t,” Jiang Cheng gives back and when Lan Wangji only glares at him, he looks down at the table.

He really does feel like an intruder.

“Wangji,” Lan Xichen chides his brother when they get back from the kitchen and even Lan Qiren seems displeased by Lan Wangji’s icy glare.

“Don’t mind him,” Lan Xichen says to Jiang Cheng sitting down next to him. “He doesn’t do well with changes, especially unannounced ones.”

“I see,” Jiang Cheng whispers even though he doesn’t.

He steals a glance at Lan Xichen, because it feels safer than to look at Lan Wangji again, and he startles when he finds Lan Xichen already looking at him.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t know Lan Xichen well at all, because he is already attending university and has been ever since Wei Wuxian took an interest in Lan Wangji which really was the start of all of this, Jiang Cheng thinks.

Jiang Cheng is curious to know what exactly Lan Xichen is studying, but he can’t bring himself to ask before they start with dinner, and Jiang Cheng knows enough by now to keep his mouth shut while they are eating.

Lan Qiren’s reprimand the first time had been almost gentle, but Jiang Cheng is still very careful to never forget it again.

Once they are done, Lan Qiren asks Lan Wangji to go with him to his study, leaving only Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng behind.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t dare to think that Lan Qiren wants to speak to Lan Wangji because of how he treated Jiang Cheng this evening, but he fails to see how else he could interpret Lan Qiren’s many glares at Lan Wangji during dinner.

“Join me in the kitchen?” Lan Xichen asks as he gathers up all the dishes and Jiang Cheng nods, before he reaches out to take his own bowl.

“Give that to me,” Lan Xichen says before Jiang Cheng can pick it up and then Lan Xichen looks at his cast. “How is your wrist?”

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng says and then winces. “It doesn’t hurt at all anymore, it’s mostly annoying,” he admits and gets a smaller smile for it, though this one seems more real than the others.

“Will it come off soon?” Lan Xichen wants to know as he gets started on cleaning the dishes and Jiang Cheng shrugs.

“I have an appointment with a doctor on Friday,” he says, still hearing his mother say how he better not miss it and Lan Xichen stops.

“It’s only been four weeks, though, right?” he questions and Jiang Cheng presses his lips together. “A broken bone needs longer than that. You shouldn’t rush it,” Lan Xichen advises him and Jiang Cheng almost lets out a bitter huff.

How is he supposed to take the time to heal properly when his mother will only take it as one more weakness from him.

“Uncle said you’re going to attend family dinner from now on?” Lan Xichen eventually says when it becomes clear that Jiang Cheng doesn’t have a reply for him.

“It seems like it,” Jiang Cheng says, still unsure about it, because he cannot believe that Lan Qiren would want him to come back again.

“It’s good,” Lan Xichen says and then he turns around towards Jiang Cheng, instantly putting him on edge.

“Uncle mentioned that you have a key, but barely use it,” Lan Xichen says and Jiang Cheng grimaces at that.

“Jiang Wanyin, if he gave you that key he wants you to use it,” Lan Xichen gently says and Jiang Cheng shrugs, because Lan Qiren said the same, but it’s still hard for Jiang Cheng to trust it.

“Uncle has been lonely since Wangji and I moved out,” Lan Xichen says almost out of the blue. “He would never admit to it, but it’s true. He misses coming home to someone. Wangji or I were usually home before him and one of us would cook. Uncle misses that the most, I think. A homecooked meal by someone who cares about him.”

“I—” Jiang Cheng starts and then doesn’t know how to go on, because it feels presumptuous to offer to cook for Lan Qiren when he doesn’t know if Lan Qiren would even want him to.

“I could show you his favourite dishes,” Lan Xichen offers and Jiang Cheng finds himself nodding before he can give it a conscious thought.

“Uncle likes his food light and without many spices,” Lan Xichen says and Jiang Cheng scoffs, because yeah, that he noticed already.

“He keeps some spices and chili sauce for you here, did you know?” Lan Xichen asks and before Jiang Cheng can call him out on his lie, Lan Xichen opens a cupboard and true to his words the spices and chili sauce are all there.

The thoughtfulness is enough to bring Jiang Cheng to tears again and he only feels slightly ashamed when Lan Xichen steps close and puts a hand to his shoulder.

“Uncle wants you here,” Lan Xichen says. “He’s not doing it out of pity, if that is what you think. He has always spoken very highly of you and he was worried long before he learned about your situation at home,” Lan Xichen says and Jiang Cheng burns with the knowledge that even Lan Xichen knows that his family home is shit.

“He didn’t go into details, but it’s clear that he wants to take care of you. He’s not good at saying it, he and Wangji are much alike in that, but he means it. So please come home more often,” Lan Xichen softly finishes and Jiang Cheng tries to hide his face when a few tears roll down his cheeks.

“I’ll try,” he chokes out and Lan Wangji and Lan Qiren choose that moment to come into the kitchen.

“Xichen,” Lan Qiren exclaims and is at Jiang Cheng’s side a moment later. “Do not be rude,” Lan Qiren chides him but before Lan Xichen can say something Jiang Cheng shakes his head.

“He wasn’t. I’m fine,” he says, even though it’s clear to everyone in the kitchen that he’s not.

Lan Qiren still hovers at his side and Jiang Cheng almost thinks that funny, but then Lan Wangji clears his throat.

“See you next week, Jiang Wanyin,” he awkwardly says and it’s as much of a peace offering as Jiang Cheng will get from him so he simply nods at him.

“See you next week. Do not say hi to my brother for me,” Jiang Cheng says, because he’s not quite ready to have Wei Wuxian ask questions about it, and Lan Wangji seems to understand because he nods.

“Well, until next week then, uncle, Jiang Wanyin, have a pleasant evening,” Lan Xichen also says and pushes Lan Wangji out of the room before anyone else can say something.

“Family dinners are weekly,” Lan Qiren explains, yet again not quite looking at Jiang Cheng. “Plus a monthly brunch on the last Sunday in the month.”

It’s not quite an invitation, but by now Jiang Cheng dares to presume that it actually is an invitation and so he nods.

“I will be there,” he reassures Lan Qiren who strokes his beard.

“See to it that you are,” he says and then makes his way into the living-room.

Jiang Cheng remains in the kitchen until he feels at least a little bit composed again and then he joins Lan Qiren, who is practicing on his guqin.

Jiang Cheng has found that it’s excellent background noise to do some reading for class, so he settles down on the couch with his book and an approving look from Lan Qiren.

It does feel a little bit like home.

Next part!

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

[fenristheorem]

New Era Lance Headcanons

I told myself I wouldn’t do this before episode 4 came out... but here I am.

I originally wanted to wait until ANE episode 4 was out to post any of my own headcanons for Lance, but I know they had a fire at one of their locations recently and that has delayed the release of the episode (my heart goes out to them), so I figured I should just go ahead and post some headcanons because I’ve been dying to do so.

~Headcanons under the cut because these are long~

General:

Twice a year, on their birthday and the anniversary of his death, Lance brings Floppy (because I theorize he adopted Floppy) to visit Valkyon’s grave. Really, this can happen at nearly any time of the year - but seeing as Lance is busy as Chief of Obsidian Guard, he can’t always make time to visit his brother’s grave. However, Lance always makes sure to find time to visit the grave with Floppy on these two special dates. He'll even specifically ask Huang Hua to try and make sure his schedule isn't too busy on these two days. He never says why, but it's not hard to guess.

Lance occasionally talks out loud... to his brother... distantly hoping that - despite the fact that he’s dead - Valk will somehow hear him and by some miracle respond to his brother. He doesn’t do this very often, only when he finds himself caught in a low moment where he feels truly isolated from everyone and the ache to have his brother by his side again echos through him like thunder through a mountain valley, but when he does it means he really needs the comfort. No one in the guard knows this about him; he makes sure that he never does this in public or where anyone could find him doing this. Valkyon’s death effected nearly everyone in the guard, but Lance was still his brother and doesn’t believe most people would understand the full extent of his regrets and, further more, his ways of coping with this great loss.

Lance never visited the re-formed crystal created by Leiftan and Erika. Not once - in all 7 years. He never felt he had the right to because this situation and all his pain was primarily caused by him and, therefore, he needs to bear the pain as part of taking responsibility for his actions. The crystal room became a symbol of hope and forging forward into a new era, and while Lance is grateful for being given a chance to redeem, he's aware that he has a long way to go before he has made up for everything he's done, if he ever could. He feels he needs to find his own hope from within and help guide the guard with it, not rely on the guard and the new crystal to provide him with hope for the future.

Romantic:

Lance is very used to being alone by now. Because of this, he keeps his romantic partner at a distance when they first start off. It’s not that he’s not interested - it’s just that he’s settling into the idea that someone actually wants to be closer to him after everything he’s done, especially the woman he threw off a cliff. He’s not entirely sure how to react to a woman finding romantic interest in him, hell he’s not even sure he deserves it. It's been years since he's allowed himself to consider romantic companionship, so he's widely used to being his own rock. However, once they’ve been together for a while, he’ll trust himself (and her) a bit more and actually allow himself to be a bit more comfortable and minorly impulsive around her. Slowly he’ll allow himself to throw a few jokes around, he’ll allow himself to share his opinion on things around her more, and he’ll find it a little easier to smile each day. Now he’s not one to hide his emotions, but he certainly keeps himself in check to avoid causing damage or pain as he's painfully aware that heavy emotions can influence people. However, this disappears when he begins to trust his partner more; he's less hesitant and more confident that she won't shun him for having strong emotions and opinions on certain things.

Once they’ve been together for a while and his romantic partner has effectively torn down the walls of isolation he built around himself, she’ll find he’s... a bit territorial. After all, he’s allowing himself to become attached to someone for the first time in years; why wouldn’t he be attentive and watchful with his newfound companion? He’s not openly aggressive towards others when jealous or feeling territorial (in the rare case that he is, as he’s learned later on in the relationship that he has nothing to be insecure about), he refuses to bring that sort of disruption to the guard, but he’s certainly not above throwing Guardienne over his shoulder (without his armor on, of course) when he’s reminded of a moment earlier in the day where another man seemed to be just a bit too interested in what she was saying. Pair that with a kind, naive smile from her and a few jokes, and perhaps an encounter with a Leiftan at some point, and you have the perfect combination for a semi-jealous ice dragon who suddenly craves attention from his lover. He’ll take her over his shoulder and saunter over to the nearby bed in who-ever’s room they’re in, lay her gently down and rest himself beside her, wrapping both arms around her and pulling her close to his chest as they settle in to stay like that for minutes to hours depending on how long they have together. She better not hope to leave anytime soon then. Unless they have somewhere to be, Lance is unlikely to let her go for any reasons; he wants her attention and he's going to get it.

Lance is an ice dragon. This is well known by now and he's proud of his heritage. However, with this also comes all the responsibility of being an ice dragon; specifically the instincts. This is also something his partner needs to learn to deal with if they hope to maintain a relationship with him, because he's certainly not about to rebuke himself for having natural instincts (unless it truly begins to become a problem or he accidentally hurts someone). These instincts can range from being very territorial and possessive at certain times and situations, to keeping a special watch on her to make sure she isn't hurt at times where she could be prone to it, or treating her like a living goddess merely because the mood strikes him and he wants to show appreciation for her presence. These are only a few examples. When do these instincts hit hardest? He's still trying to figure that out, seeing that he hasn't been with anyone for a while. However, they can effect him in different degrees. Some days he'll hold her for an extra five minutes longer before she leaves to hang out with Mathieu, Koori and Karenn, other days he'll request that Huang Hua allow him to escort her on a minor mission in the forests surrounding HQ because he wants to do everything he can to protect her and give them time alone together. If they're interrupted on their mission by someone else, Lance will be deathly quiet and still as his partner and the newcomer carry on their conversation, only speaking when spoken too, and he won't be mean, but internally he'll be quite irritated at the fact that their alone-time is being interrupted when he planned for them to be alone for a while. Ideally, his partner will pick up on his distance and wrap up the conversation, and once the newcomer leaves Lance won't hesitate to take his partner by the wrist (gently) and briskly drag her away from the direction of her conversational partner. When he feels they're far away enough, he'll abruptly turn around and press her against a tree, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her neck with a faint growl. The best thing his partner can do in this time is hold him. He doesn't need comfort or reassurance, he just needs time alone with her. However, that's one of the extremes of his instincts. Most of the time he acts on subtle instincts. He'll pull her into a secluded corner of the guard for a few minutes to talk privately and share a few kisses, or he'll be passing by and see something in the market that she said she needed, or perhaps he sees something he thinks she'll look good with or he knows she'll like, and then track her down after purchasing to gift his find to her. At the end of the day, he just wants her to know he appreciates her, and when the sudden urge to do something with or for her strikes he has a hard time letting it go. And while Lance is very independent and doesn't wish to oppress or suffocate his partner, his instincts can become a bit overbearing at certain times. All his partner needs to do is confide in him about this and he'll try and make them a bit more comfortable (after all, his instincts tell him to care for her before anything else) but she will need to try and tolerate this as much as possible, if it's even an issue to begin with. However, Lance is quite confident that she'll enjoy the intimate side of his instincts more often than the domestic instincts, no matter how she feels about the domestic side...

I’m considering making Lance headcanons a routine post on my page - maybe one or two posts every couple of days. I have a few more headcanons that I can post, and I’m sure I’ll have more after ep. 4 is out, but I’m always open to writing specific headcanons upon request.

Have a request? Ask them here!

But first, please read the rules list for asks!

[chaoticevilbean]

Voltron HC’s for my Humans Are Weird Lance-Centric Story

Lance became immune to most poisons because he wanted to be like Westley in The Princess Bride

Lance has worn heels, dresses, makeup, extensions, etc, multiple times His sisters and brothers helped him learn the skills

Lance has learned how to fix engines, along with other basic/simple engineering skills, because of his brother Marco

Lance is an amazing chemist and knows how to make an impromptu bomb with sweat, a bobby pin and something made of glass, because of his sister-in-law Bella

Lance speaks practically every language to communicate with his friends Lance can cook and bake relatively well because he helped his mother and grandmothers cook

Lance may not be Pidge’s level, but he is a white hat hacker who made money after being hired by multiple governments to make sure they weren’t vulnerable because his brother-in-law Theo dared he couldn’t

Lance knows how macgyver basically anything because of the many things he had happen with his cousins and siblings

Lance can use bows, throwing knives, darts, blowguns, and guns really well, as well as a sling and has a throwing arm of incredibly accuracy because of his father encouraging it (and a boomerang to honor his favorite character Sokka)

Lance knows juego de mani and limalama because Veronica told him to learn to protect himself without weapons and he wanted to make her proud

Lance can sew, knit, crochet, etc, because he wanted to help his mother and grandmothers and sisters

Lance is a disguise pro because of his sisters

Lance is amazing at acting and lie detecting because of his younger relatives and siblings

Lance can dance in practically every way, revealed through pole dancing and aerial silks, and Lance is so flexible Hunk insists he has no bones, all because he played Twister and limbo and refused to lose - and then took gymnastics and dancing classes when his aunt found out and paid

Lance has multiple service animals because his mind doesn’t work like others and he has various needs - each animal does something different

He had a boa constrictor for his anxiety, a parrot to tell him when he accidentally switched languages, a goose to make sure no one hurt his feelings (accidental or purposeful), and a small snake that they couldn’t identify that helps him focus

Therefore, Lance handles all animals extremely well and they automatically love him - several times, he comes back to the Castle with new animals that they can’t get rid of and have to take along

Lance has run and won three marathons so his older brother Phillipe would be motivated to exercise

Lance can swim, climb, and jump better than most people, including Pidge, Hunk, and Keith. He can only swim and jump better than Shiro - they’re matched for climbing, unless they’re in trees, in which Lance wins, because of siblings and relatives

Lance can eat Carolina Reapers without crying because of bets

Lance can sing and knows many styles, including opera - his voice is incredibly strong, and he is told to not sing opera unless there is something protecting other species from the volume - his family would sing together and he took lessons after his uncle started crying at his ‘angelic voice’

Lance is the best diplomat because he understands people and how to get them to loosen up and have fun, which causes them to accept his ‘pack-bonding’ and want to be his ally/friend - because everyone back home was family

Lance can storytell with the best of them because of his grandparents telling their own stories and him mimicking them as he told them about his day

Lance once broke his leg, sprained his wrist, dislocated his shoulder, and scraped himself up really badly because he fell down a steep hill on an island - a few friendly sharks and dolphins came together to help him make it back to home (Hunk’s home because he was visiting)

Caffeine does nothing to Lance - he can consume a gallon of pure espresso without dying or so much as twitching, and he won’t be affected at all. He cannot be addicted, and it’s because his uncle would give him coffee and soda as a little baby when his parents weren’t looking, but he came over semi-irregularly due to travel

Lance cannot get hungover and it takes a whole lot of alcohol to make him drunk. He’s gone to several open clubs, and gotten many drinks bought for him both normally and in a dress and heels - his family had competitions often and he participated from fifteen onwards and somehow was again immune for the most part

Lance can eat a whole pineapple on his own (it was a dare that he worked up to) Lance can whisper at many different volumes and in many ways. He can also throw off his voice. Hide-and-seek tag was fun, especially in the dark where you could freak out whoever was it

Lance can flip knives and screwdrivers and such. He can also throw simple objects with deadly accuracy (pencils) because his brother came out as gay and was bullied, so he learned to flip knives and transferred that to school items, which then transferred to bullies finding their backpacks pinned by a colored pencil that was thrown nearly hitting their necks.

Lance can make a fire easily due to bonfires on the beach. He has no fear for it, and knows minor blacksmithing because him and Veronica liked to make things out of stuff they found on the shore.

Lance has cute hiccups and sneezes, like a little kitten, but only Hunk knows. Whenever someone sneezes or hiccups, Hunk gives Lance a look, waiting for the moment when the cuteness comes. It hasn’t… yet

Lance can do a million what if’s and figure out deep theories for each because his family got bored easily

Lance can mimic practically anything due to a combo of games with siblings and survival skills - and learning to screech in his sister’s ear

Lance can make up a million different swears because they weren’t allowed to cuss around the younger kids. He knows how to come up with the so fast that Pidge wonders if it’s another language for him

Lance is the most protective - Hunk is the only one who’s truly seen what he looks like in a rage (the Galra see - and their ship goes down before they can tell anyone - thank you Black Lion) - Lance will never lose someone in a crowd, and no one can kidnap someone around him - he spent years herding kids in crowded areas and saving them from creeps. He will never lose someone.

Lance is so empathic that he befriends several Galra teams and those eventually join the Blades - he watched his younger relatives fall down and had to kiss lots of boo-boos

He had so many female relatives, Lance knows how to handle periods better than some girls

Lance goes calm when scared - he had to handle whatever danger there was before it could hurt or affect his family - he supercalculates and becomes a supersoldier/assassin

Lance has the best intuition and every human learns this - he knows when something is low quality, when something or someone cannot be trusted, when something is wrong, etc. - Hunk vouches the first time when it’s just humans, and the second time (outside of a battle or something), the Alteans are forced to listen when the four other humans insist Lance should be trusted - it helped him avoid danger

Lance handles stress so well, he barely feels it. His adrenaline is completely on beck and call. He never told anyone but his family because no one else he knows of has achieved a mental switch to the adrenaline rush. He can use hysterical strength on command, but he’s only done it once before. He just goes as calm as when scared if he gets too stressed or if everyone else is too stressed

Lance is the best at grooming - thank you sisters

Hunk and Lance have tattoos and pierced ears (Hunk has a large traditional tattoo on his back); Lance has several tattoos on his center back (flowers and skulls and leaves) with some spreading outwards (vines with more flowers and stuff growing out) and has band tattoos on his shins and biceps; Lance has many piercings in his ears that no one notices unless he’s wearing earrings - his siblings took him to get the tattoos and piercings, and his mother took him to get the first piercings and his father the first tattoo (a small flower on his shoulder blade)

Lance is best at child games like tag and hidenseek because of his family Sometimes, Lance speaks in such complex slang and metaphors that even Hunk barely understands him because he and his siblings and cousins wanted to speak to each other (gossip) without eavesdroppers

Lance cannot control his curiosity well because he had to explore things for and with his family and knew he could handle the situations if they went wrong

Lance loves cute things because of pets and nieces and nephews

Lance learned to talk backwards and can go silent for a long time without losing his voice because of dares

Lance has a high pain tolerance even if he hasn’t been hurt in a long time and it’s helped him (sharks and dolphin incident, saving Coran, just contributing to fight and help his family and friends even in pain) - however, he will likely be extremely dreamy when that happens

ONE DAY: Pidge makes a teleporter and manages to get a friend back on Earth to set up another. She also gets communications up. 

Shiro talks with Adam (this is Adashi and Alluratt), and gets sent some official medals to show he’s a General because of all he’s done and been through. 

Hunk’s mothers and sisters send him homegrown ingredients and some better tools. 

Pidge’s mother spends half the time telling Sam, Matt, and Pidge off for leaving and the other half asking if they’re okay and then sends them each a care package. 

Keith also talks with Adam and gets sent a knife “to remind you of home”. 

Lance’s family takes an hour just introducing themselves to Keith (who Lance insists stays with since he said he didn’t have family - “you can share mine then”) and then spends a good many more telling about what happened; they send over a bunch of shoes and clothes and sewing/knitting supplies and chemistry supplies and etc so he won’t get bored and then Veronica asks him if he can ask Pidge if the teleporter can do it with living things. 

She says it can, but don’t have anyone come because of the danger - Veronica sends Lance’s service animals and they all missed him so much and instantly like the team. 

Maverick is the goose (*tell dad that joke with a straight face*)

Princey is the boa constrictor

Alexander is the parrot 

Cleopatra is the unidentifiable snake

Maverick tries to peck Keith whenever he makes a rude comment on accident, so Keith starts learning what’s hurtful and how to rephrase his thoughts so they’re not as hurtful but still honest.

Princey loves Hunk and tries to hug everyone.

Alex imitates Coran’s voice and uses that from then on unless Coran is around then he’ll bark like a dog once to alert Lance that it’s the real deal - Alex knows that helping Lance is important and Coran helps Lance so using Coran’s voice helps a lot. 

Pidge wants to know what Cleo is, but Cleo doesn’t leave Lance’s side unless necessary because he ‘disappeared’ for the animals.

The other collected animal assortment learn how to help Lance from his service animals and soon he almost always (except battle) has at least three other creatures besides his service ones following him and helping.

Lance took drama class and was in the play put on by the class, but worked backstage as stage manager (was on the floor and used his intuition for lights and sound and stuff)

For the drama club play - he was the lead almost every time no matter how many times he suggested someone else might be better.The one time he wasn’t, he was the love interest (he was Mais Merian instead of Robin Hood)

He always got special recognition when backstage and that time as the interest despite him nominating literally everyone else

Lance has met Mothman - that’s all he tells Keith and co, but he used to get together every Saturday night for stargazing with Mothman and a lovely sasquatch, and they kept in touch when he left for the Garrison; Veronica helped them and let the cryptids know that Lance was okay after communicating with the Paladins.

Mothman was named Emilio by Lance and nicknamed Em. The sasquatch was named Alli.

Lance has been “adopted” by packs of wild animals several times and not always packs. He once was pushed by a bully over the edge of the crocodile enclosure at a zoo (bully just pushed, didn’t mean to make him go over) on a school field trip when he was twelve. They couldn’t get the crocs to give him back til his abuelita came over with a chancla and scolded them until they gave the boy back. 

He was allowed back into the zoo for free so long as he helped when the animals were cranky or needing shots because they were always calm around him. 

He befriended every animal. 

Rosa the gorilla was a lovely little lady who would sing with him and she would start singing the moment she heard/saw him. They had a special song just for the two of them to sing. 

Lance went viral, but not many recognize the twelve year old as him, especially because people stopped posting when it became clear he wasn’t going to stop and they got used to it. 

Keith remembers the hippo video and wishes he could’ve joined that boy. When it is eventually revealed that Lance is the Animal Tamer, he promises to get Keith his own hippo (his uncle bought the zoo when it started to close down a few years back -same people work there, just different ownership. Lance knows his uncle won’t mind) 

Keith is ecstatic and refuses to believe Lance is lying, and Shiro and Pidge worry and are shocked. Hunk knew.

Lance learned to hang upside down like a bat for long periods of time because his family had a huge vacation house with rafters but the house got crowded since everyone would come and Lance would stay in the rafters with Veronica to provide more room and both became known as the Bat Twins. 

Lance uses this to scare the Blades by telling Keith to tell Kolivan about vampires and then hanging from the vents and hissing at people while wearing black and dark red and a cape that he made. 

He also has fake fangs and red contacts so no one recognized him but the humans and now everyone is on the lookout for the vampire in the vents. 

Keith and Shiro never leave the team or disappear. The Blades approach the Paladins seeking an alliance.

Hunk and Lance were pen pals at three because of Lance’s aunt who knows one of Hunk’s moms, and they met at five when the aunt brought him back. 

He went every year for both short and long trips, and the island Hunk lived on accepted Lance into the community, so now he has traditional tattoos on his lower back and across his shoulders that meld with his previous tattoos easily. 

He got the lower back one when he was thirteen and the shoulders when he was fourteen. The bands are a combo of Cuban and Samoan culture in their styling.

Lance had worked on some of his relatives’ farm after school since he was seven. He knows how to milk a cow, herd flocks, lasso (probably lassos a thief at some point), hogtie, farm (plants), make animal calls and whistles, get chickens to obey, ride a horse and a bull, use a scythe like a pro (and terrify Pidge and Shiro on their makeshift Halloween while Keith attempts to figure out how a cryptid, a quiznacking GRIM REAPER, got aboard. Hunk just stands back to watch the chaos), bargain/barter like a pro, withstand extremely strong winds and other storm conditions without falling over (he can walk, make himself heard, and even run and jump and climb like normal), tell when something is sick or ready to be harvested/milked, tend to many animals, speak in farmer slang, and has memorized the planting requirements for many crops.

Lance can stand off in a growl/roaring match (baring teeth and trying to seem bigger) against bears, Alli the sasquatch, wolves, and several Galra soldiers. He came across many Earth predators and knew that his logical mind could overcome his primal instincts that would make him give in to a wild animal. 

Therefore, whenever Lance and co happened on one and needed to scare it off, he would do so by not giving in in the slightest, which eventually broke the other, especially since it was always obvious he was protecting his family. 

If it was two ‘mamas’ (Lance is ‘mama’), then both seemed to feel it and would stand down and head their separate ways.

The Galra found out when Lance stood off against a commander in a ground base and got the enemy to give in. Once the commander was submissive, the others gave in and the base was converted (secretly) to the Blades.

After all, Lance didn’t try to hurt them, simply continued on his way. And he was heard getting the others to not destroy the base because “these soldiers aren’t with the Empire. At least, not because they want to be. They’re with the Empire because it’s all they know. Let’s leave them be now.”

The Blades found out as a whole when a Blade tried to tell Keith off of going on a small reconnaissance mission because he was too small.

Lance came to the defense, and unbeknownst to the Paladins, Lance was then on known as the Caretaker of the group, a type of alpha that doesn’t lead, but is very protective of their pack and is willing to do whatever necessary to protect them. Shiro is the alpha, but even he will give in to the Caretaker if faced off with the alpha side of it.

Lance then finds himself taking less fire during battle, which helped him focus better on protecting his team, because the word got out and the Galra don’t attack Caretakers or kits because they’re the most important. Together they are the future.

Lance is both a kit and a Caretaker, attempting to protect his fellow kits, and that means that they are very hesitant to attack. They have to rethink strategies to avoid lethal offenses due to Lance’s willingness to take the hits and the fact that they are all kits.

There is one adult in their group and it’s a crazy middle-aged Altean.

Kolivan sees the Caretaker up close and personal when he ‘loses’ Keith. Before Lance can do more than growl and prepare to shout and cuss out the Blade for losing his teammate, Keith comes busting out of the vents spouting off about how he was training and then he was asked to go find the vampire and even though he knows the truth it was too good an opportunity, and then he thinks the Blades lost track of him and then he heard the Paladins boarding and it wasn’t Kolivan’s fault, it was an accident.

Lance immediately backs off and tells Keith to use the Castle’s training room. He seriously just got back from the reconnaissance mission, take a break.

Lance can handle many different temperatures because of the weather back home and his siblings often taking him out camping.

Back home, everyone was family to Lance. On Hunk’s island home, everyone around them was family or friends.

Lance and Hunk can walk, talk, sing, dance, and overall move in unison to the point where they seem telepathic. They can do so for a long time.

Their record is three days, where they woke up and went to sleep at the same time and helped each other make food and overall astounded their fellow Garrison cadets. Pidge was there and can vouch that it was terrifying.

Lance will always rescue someone in need. It gains them many allies from Galra, Empire supporters who only support it because it’s all they know, pirates, fauna, some flora, a few allies who were going to discuss the alliance until Lance helped a kid up or saved an animal without any incentive. They all saw a caring nature in a vicious predator and decided that was the perfect ally.

Lance celebrates Hanukkah, Christmas, Días Des Les Muertos (check spelling), a bunch of other holidays and a lot of birthdays because of his large family. He keeps it up in space by either putting up decorations in a few rooms (sometimes rooms that no one visits so they won’t be taken down) or going around saying something like “Happy Marco’s birthday!”

Lance has an incredible sense of smell because of diapers, cooking, identifying nature and other things so he can tell what is in something rather easily and can even track down stronger smelling things with relative ease.

Lance is the flower crown making champ and can make all sorts of styles since his nieces and nephews always wanted them

Lance and Hunk have the worst dark humor and it’s a major surprise, but it comes from being exposed to other people a lot and Lance had social media.

His Instagram is of animals and nature, his Twitter is of weather and the beach and more nature, his Facebook is his crafts and art and occasionally some songs (just audio clips and you can’t really identify him with his voice, he even did opera once), Reddit has theories and he’s incredibly respected for his ideas and theories especially because it’s just for fun and he says that, Tumblr is random stuff and everyone loves him (both the fandoms and the hipsters).

None of his accounts have his face or information, so he’s completely anonymous. Hunk learned from Lance.

Lance has wonderful rhythm because he had to get thirty kids to sing Cotton Eye Joe and do the dances at the same time

Lance never took ice skating lessons but is really good and has had several people offer to teach him or ask him to join an event/team

[lloydskywalkers]

call the police and the fireman

I have zero explanation for this except that during the rare occasion of me working on my original novel, it occurred to me that out of all the dragon characteristics Lloyd could have, I’ve been short-changing him on of the coolest ones possible. Also @ninjawhoa did not talk me down so here’s Lloyd ignoring his one brain cell. 

In his defense, Lloyd most certainly had not been trying to completely eviscerate the inside of his throat. That hadn’t been like, anywhere even remotely near the end goal. Was it something he'd wanted? No. Was it something he’d planned? Of course not, his plans aren’t that bad. Was it something he probably should have expected?

….well, maybe, but it’s too late now.

Way too late, Lloyd thinks to himself, as he finishes hiding the last specks of the incinerated fire alarm in the bathroom trash and immediately retreats to sticking his head beneath the running faucet again.

The thing is, though, smart as he normally is, Lloyd’s had it — well, he’s had it not so great, lately. It hasn’t been the easiest of times in his life, which is saying something, compared to the rest of it. So maybe he’d gotten a little too focused on the barest shred of good news he’d received during the entire thing, sue him.

You try being told you’ve actually been part-dragon your entire life, what would your first move be? And having grown up with dragons as a normal staple in his life, Lloyd’s had a whole lot of inspiration on that front.

In hindsight however, Lloyd thinks, as he tries not to cry over his poor, mutilated throat — he probably should’ve stuck with like, trying to give himself claws, or something. Or even the flying thing. The flying thing would’ve been way better.

The worst part is that it actually looked so stupid cool. Kai would lose his mind over how cool this is, and Lloyd can’t even show him, because he might lose his mind in an entirely different and much less enthusiastic way.

Lloyd tries for a tentative “hey guys”, and immediately doubles over in a bout of wheezing gasps, wishing he’d tried for the sweet bliss of unconsciousness-via-head-bashing instead.

Stuffing a towel in his mouth so the rest of the team doesn’t hear him hacking like a chronic smoker, Lloyd wonders 1) how long it’s going to take the green power to fix his throat, 2) how long he’s going to be able to get away with not speaking, and 3) how much of this he can blame on his great-grandmother before she vaporizes him.

He comes to the conclusion that he’s just gonna blame the whole thing on her.

******************************

Despite the circumstances they’d met under, Lloyd likes his great-grandmother. She’s pretty cool, as far as family members go, and he enjoys talking with her, even if ninety percent of their conversation ends up devoted to lecturing him about what “an absolute scumbag your great-grandfather was, child, truly the spawn of *garbled dragon curses*."

Actually, all their conversations tend to end that way, but Lloyd doesn’t mind too much. It’s kind of like if his great-grandparents has just divorced like normal people, instead of being otherworldly, immortal god-like beings who went to war with each other.

He hasn’t been talking to her for that long — it’d taken a lot of finagling the means of reaching the First Realm from his uncle, for one, and then he’d had to make sure he could get back home, of course. The whole thing ended up being pointless anyways, since his great-grandmother ended up coming to visit him, because he’s the only family member she hasn’t considered barbecuing at some point, apparently. (Yet.)  

“—and you do look just like your father, back when he didn’t take after your thrice-cursed *garbled dragon cursing* of a great-grandfather,” she had said, inspecting him with her large eyes. “I was quite fond of him, you know. He was a true terror, as I’m sure you are. Or perhaps not, you have a sweeter look in your face. It’s the cheeks, I think, you’re not nearly as threatening as he ever looked.”

“Um, thank you,” Lloyd had awkwardly replied, as he’d had little to no reference point of whether or not she genuinely liked him at the time, and was being extra-cautious, because certain recent familial encounters had left him with the mindset that it was best to believe everyone related to him probably wanted to murder him.

Fortunately, his great-grandmother was not one of those types.

“I don’t know about the wings, little one,” she’d informed him as he’d dangled upside from her tail, eyeing him mournfully. “You seem to take too much after your mother’s side.”

Lloyd had been less than thrilled with that response, but he’d swallowed his disappointment the best he could.

“Now the teeth, though,” she’d said, her eyes gleaming. “Those, we can work with.”

That was how the fire-breathing had come to be in the first place — which, as you should note, was entirely his great-grandmother’s idea. She’d reasoned that since Lloyd not only appeared to have manifested most of his dragon characteristics in his mouth, but also had a direct connection to the element of fire, he might be able to both successfully breathe fire and survive the attempt.

“Wait, there’s a chance I wouldn’t survive?” Lloyd had asked, blinking.

“You’re exhaling fire through your little mortal throat, hatchling. Of course there’s a chance you wouldn’t survive. A very small one, mind you — I happen to like you a good deal, and it’d be a terrible shame if all I was left with in the world was the rest of your *garbled dragon cursing* family.”

She had also reasoned that since Lloyd seemed to have an excellent handle on both languages — even if Dragon did sound like butchered yowling in his accent, she bemoaned — perhaps there was a connection with the throat there. At any rate, they had both agreed that Lloyd would be far more likely to breathe fire from his throat than he would be sprouting wings anytime soon.

Lloyd had deliberately mentioned absolutely none of this to his team. If Kai ever learns that he’d been warned dying was an option and continued to try it anyways…

Well, it’s breathing fire. Lloyd’s staking his hopes on Kai being so impressed with how cool it is that he totally forgets about all about murdering his reckless little brother.

******************************

While his great-grandmother gives him all sorts of throat exercises he’s supposed to do — apparently the actual fire’s supposed to come from his chest, but the throat will take the worst of it — he doesn’t get the chance to actually test it out until a week or two later, when he’s walking home alone from the grocery late one night.

All he’s picked up is an extra-large bag of M&M’s and like, four things of cereal, so Lloyd’s in good spirits as he crosses one of the older alleyways. He’s also relaxed enough for the first time in about three months to let his guard down a bit, so it’s a real shame that he immediately gets jumped by thugs the second he does.

“Hands up, kid, nice and easy,” the biggest guy says, waving his gun at him. “We don’t want any trouble, just your money.”

Lloyd bites back a retort. Yeah, sure, they can have all fifty of his cents he’s got left. Lloyd’s a real billionaire here, in his training shorts and Zane’s old sweatshirt, who’s even teaching these guys how to pick targets—

“He said hands up, kid!” the second guy barks at him, his own gun leveling out somewhere wildly above Lloyd’s shoulder. “And drop the bags, too!”

That has Lloyd scowling. He spent the last of his junk food money on this, he’s not leaving it on the city streets, gross. He sighs, shifting his arms and beginning to call up his power, when an idea hits him. Lloyd’s mouth curves into a deliberate smirk.

“Hey kid, we said — hey, stop that creepy grinning, we’re pointing a gun at you—”

Lloyd just grins wider, opens his mouth, and breathes an explosion of streaming flame toward their faces.

If he were his father, Lloyd would call out something terribly impressive, like “may my hellfire vanquish you back to the eternal pit of misery you crawled out of, foolish scum” — but he’s not his father, so he’s been figuring he’ll end up saying something along the lines of “stop right there, sucker” because he was raised by a bunch of teenagers with the combined schooling level of mid-high school.

Unfortunately, all he ends up actually saying is a bunch of strangled screaming, because he’s currently forcing a miniature bonfire through his throat, and wow, he definitely did not calculate how much this was actually going to hurt—

It does the trick, at least. The thugs’ faces lose all their color faster than he can blink, and they jump back screaming in terror, dropping all their guns in their haste to escape.

Lloyd would be cackling like he hasn’t since he was about nine, but he’s too busy trying not die inhaling smoke through his scorched throat.

“Son of — hngh—”

Smoke is billowing out from between his teeth now, and Lloyd sucks in a strangled wheeze, his eyes tearing up as the smoke stings against them. He feels like he’s swallowed a blast from Kai, his throat hurts so bad, but it doesn’t feel deadly. He can already feel the buzz of green power doing it’s job, and the pathetic whining noises he’s making reassure him that his vocal chords are still there, even if it feels like he’s flambéed them.

“Worth it,” Lloyd croaks through his abused, raw throat, before collapsing on the street and nearly passing out.

******************************

The next morning is awful. If Lloyd hadn’t developed such a high pain tolerance as he has, he’d be in serious trouble right now.

Not that it makes it any better, he thinks to himself, trying not to whine as he accidentally swallows, his throat vengefully reminding him that he tried to charbroil it last night.

“Morning, Lloyd,” Cole says cheerfully. Lloyd gives him a weak smile in return, adding a little wave for flair, and hopes it’s enough.

“How would you like your eggs?” Zane asks him. Lloyd jerks a shoulder up in a shrug, trying to look as tired as he can. If he can convince them that he’s just exhausted, instead of slowly dying inside because he breathed fire through his throat last night—

“I want scrambled,” Jay says through a yawn, saving Lloyd from Zane’s quizzical gaze. “Make ‘em all scrambled, Zane, with that cheese you use.”

“A ‘please’ would be appreciated once in a while,” Zane mutters, but he’s already reaching for the fridge again.

Lloyd grits his teeth, trying desperately to ignore how much his mouth tastes like ash. Like, actual ash, which is disgusting. Lloyd’s never gonna be able to eat burnt marshmallows again, which is a true tragedy.

The price you pay for being a badass, Lloyd thinks to himself mournfully.

Kai comes in about then, still scrubbing at his eyes, yawning as he sits next to Lloyd. “Sleep alright?” he asks, words mangled through the yawn.

Lloyd nods, then tries to hide the wince that runs through him as his throat twinges. He’s apparently unsuccessful, because Kai narrows his eyes at him, suddenly looking much more awake.

“Hey, are you okay?” he says, sounding concerned. “Talk to me, bud."

Lloyd bites his lip. If Kai keeps asking, the others are gonna start looking over, and then that’ll be more suspicious. Maybe he can just tell him he’s got a cough? Yeah, he can do that. Just one small sentence, a few little words. He can handle that.

“I’m—ngh—”

Lloyd’s voices catches on the first word, squeaks like a broken recorder, and then coughs a burst of bright fire across the breakfast table.

A chorus of high-pitched screaming rings out across the breakfast room, Cole and Jay jumping back from the flames as Nya and Zane rush toward him, quickly putting out the fire that’s caught the wooden table. Kai’s dancing around Lloyd as he doubles over in hacking coughs, sounding two seconds from a panicked breakdown.

“—coughed up fire, that was fire, Lloyd what the FSM was that?!”

“M’a dragon,’member?” Lloyd wheezes, as he’s stared down by his family’s terrified faces. He coughs again, waving at the tiny puff of smoke that comes out, before giving them a shaky grin. “S’cool, right?”

He’s met with five blank stares.

“Oh dear,” Zane finally says, looking like he’s come to the conclusion that Lloyd is going to kill himself with this. Which is rude, Lloyd can’t be cool as heck if he’s dead.

“This is worse than the lightbulbs,” Cole says, faintly.

“Lloyd, how,” Nya breathes into her hands.

“Dude that’s sick!” Jay bursts out in excitement, immediately cementing his place as one of Lloyd’s favorite people ever. “You can breathe fire, what the heck!”

Kai shakes his head at him in awe, his voice reverent. “That’s so cool, that’s not eve—ennn oh my god he’s dying—!”

Kai’s excitement turns to a horrified shriek as Lloyd coughs up a mouthful of blood.

“S’okay,” Lloyd croaks, waving everyone off they crowd him, wiping at his mouth. “S’normal too. Throat’s just raw. It heals up after a bit.”

He’s met by five of the most unimpressed stares he’s seen all month.

“I’m making you a doctor’s appointment,” Zane sighs, tapping at his phone. “And you’re going over this with Sensei Wu.”

“And you’re not breathing fire anymore,” Cole scolds, eyebrows furrowed in worry.

“Without us,” Jay adds. Cole elbows him, and he scowls. “What? C’mon, this is super cool.”

“Jay,” Nya says, a warning in her voice.

Jay laughs nervously. “I mean, super dangerous, haha! Real, uh, really dangerous. You’re coughing up blood, that’s bad.”

Kai hovers by his shoulder, still looking torn between dreadful concern, overbearing overprotectiveness, and most importantly, an vicious kind of curiosity.

As Lloyd had hoped it would, curiosity wins out. “D’you think it’d work with me?” he finally asks him, a gleam in his eyes. “Since I can control fire, do you think I could breathe it too—”

“No,” Zane says, quickly.

“Absolutely not,” Nya says flatly. “Not a chance. Neither of you are going to try anything else with fire. If I catch you coughing up smoke, you’re both toast.”

Lloyd and Kai both nod dutifully.

“Of course,” Lloyd assures her, through a creaking rasp.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Kai echoes.

******************************

Nya storms out of the monastery at one a.m. that night to find both Kai and Lloyd in the middle of the training field, half the dummies burning down and both sprawled out on the ground. Lloyd is still hacking smoke up, having been responsible for the flames on the right side. Kai is on his hands and knees, his face pale and sweaty, responsible for the fires smoldering on the left. In terms of breathing fire, he’s only been able to trigger his gag relax about seven times, but in terms of enthusiasm, he’s contributed to the blaze on the whole by boosting Lloyd’s flames by eighty percent.

Nya spends about forty-five minutes alternating between yelling at them and dousing them with twin jets of water from her hands. Neither Kai or Lloyd mind getting sprayed by that point, but the yelling definitely doesn’t do wonders for the headaches they’ve both got from smoke inhalation.

******************************

After that fiasco, Lloyd is officially banned from breathing fire, influencing anyone else to try and breathe fire, or even mention breathing fire.

Lloyd declares that this is a prejudiced offense against him being half-dragon.

“You are a prejudiced offense against the entire health world on the whole,” Zane glares at him, tying off the last of the bandages he’s been wrapping around his throat. Lloyd makes a face at him. The bandages are overkill, and Zane knows it — all the damage is on the inside, anyways.

Next to them Nya is still chewing out Kai, who’s steadily chugging at the glass of water Cole forced on him. “I don’t care if you think you’re fireproof, and I don’t care if you—” she stabs an accusatory finger at Lloyd. “Have special elemental powers that’ll heal you eventually. If I so much as see a spark of fire from either of you, anywhere near your mouth, I’m going to super-soak you with the illegal water gun Jay built last summer.”

Kai and Lloyd pale in unison. Kai speaks up hesitantly, “Wouldn’t it just be easier if you hit us with your powers—”

“No,” Nya hisses, her eyes flashing murder. “Because it’s making a point. It’s the water gun of shame.”

Kai and Lloyd exchange commiseratory glances.

Cole and Jay don’t say much until Nya and Zane have wandered from the room, at which point they surge forward, eyes gleaming.

“Tell me you got video of it,” Jay whispers.

Kai grins. “Duh. Wait ’til you see what he did to the balance beams.”

******************************

After that, unfortunately, Lloyd really does have to stop breathing fire. Mostly because he’d like to be able to speak again without doubling over in wheezing coughs, but also because Nya’s legitimately terrifying with her water gun.

Also because Kai’s too scared of Nya as well, so Lloyd’s lost his claim to a bad influence.

Ah well, Lloyd mopes to himself. It’s a nice card to have up his sleeve in a pinch, he guesses, but clearly it was never meant to be a natural thing. He’s just too human. (Or too Oni — maybe that’s influencing it? He’ll have to ask his great-grandmother, next time she goes off on another rant about them.)

The important point is, he has every intention of not doing it again. Every intention.

But then he visits his father in prison again, because his dad’s chatty like that now, apparently. Which isn’t a terribly bad thing on its own, because Mr. Self-Proclaimed (or was it Harumi-proclaimed?) Emperor Garmadon has at least mellowed out a bit since the whole “wreck half the city in a rage” thing. And Lloyd’s been called here in person to check out the new security measures they put up, so he does have a good reason.

No, the breaking point comes when Lloyd’s trying to leave in peace, and his terrible dad of a father decides to make some snarky comment about how “boringly quiet you are today”, like Lloyd’s supposed to be his entertainment, or something.

Normally Lloyd would just ignore it and storm off, but his throat’s been killing him this whole time, and the vein in the upper right corner of his forehead is throbbing just a little too much. So instead of leaving, he whirls on his father, eyes flashing as he growls. Garmadon’s teeth bare, prepared to snap at him, and Lloyd opens his mouth to snap right back—

And promptly breathes a campfire’s worth of bright flames at him instead.

Lloyd claps a hand over his mouth in horror as the flames blossom out against the glass barrier, before doubling over in ragged coughs, smoke streaming through his fingers. A clamoring of alarms goes off, and that’s the only warning Lloyd gets before the emergency sprinklers come on, soaking both him and his father. At least they’ll hide the brimming tears from the smoke in his eyes, Lloyd thinks miserably, watching as his gi soaks through.

Garmadon is dead silent. He stares at him with wide eyes, his mouth hanging slightly open. He closes his mouth, blinking twice, his jaw working. Then, finally— “That is undeniably unfair,” he growls. “She taught you how to do that? I’ve been begging her since I was six.”

Despite the intense agony his throat is in, Lloyd beams. “It’s so cool, right?” he says, his voice sounding like a malfunctioning blender. “Totally awesome. No idea why she wouldn’t teach you. Must suck to be—”

Lloyd doesn’t get to gloat much more than that, because he starts wheezing again and the security guards come drag him out “for his own safety”, but for the look on his dad’s face?

So worth it.

[ibijau]

Worst engagement AU // on AO3

Nie Huaisang goes home, tries to deal with missing his friends, and gets a visitor

Nie Huaisang’s last month in the Cloud Recesses passes so fast that he hardly has time to register it. 

Much against his will, he gets roped into joining Jiang Cheng’s study sessions. Those turn out to be rather intense, and Jiang Cheng might be a more severe teacher than even old Lan Qiren. It pays off though, because everyone passes their exams with flying colours. Even Nie Huaisang ends up with a pretty decent grade, in spite of his refusal to put any effort into this. 

Lan Qiren congratulates him on actually putting some work into this at last, in answer to which Nie Huaisang just laughs to his face, too stunned to even get angry. He is still in a daze when he leaves the teacher’s office with his diploma in hand. He had honestly prepared himself to have failed again and he wouldn’t even have cared, but apparently he had underestimated Jiang Cheng’s determination to see everyone succeed.

“Come on, try to at least look a little happy!” Jiang Cheng scolds him later, when they all get to the Jiang cabin to celebrate. “What, did you want to stay here another year with Lan Xichen?”

Nie Huaisang scoffs and shoves him away before stuffing a handful of dried nuts in his mouth, pointedly refusing to answer such a stupid question.

He hasn’t seen a lot of Lan Xichen this last month. They’ve both been pretty busy, and Lan Qiren cancelled their last two compulsory meetings to give Nie Huaisang a better chance to study. But what little time they spent together has been… not so bad. They’ve managed to chat a little when they met in passing, and the meetings they did have were… fine. The first one was spent painting together, with Lan Xichen still exquisitely awful at Nie Huaisang’s style. The second they played Go and Nie Huaisang won, though it was a very close score. Both times, they actually ended up staying together after the incense stick had finished burning. It’s not even that Nie Huaisang hadn’t noticed. He was just having enough fun to allow it, just that time. And then again the time after.

It’s not that Nie Huaisang likes Lan Xichen any better than before. It’s not even that he’s stopped hating him. But what’s fun is fun, and to his surprise… Lan Xichen, on occasion, can be rather fun.

Nowhere near as fun as Jiang Cheng and Jin Zixuan, of course. The two of them make Nie Huaisang promise that he'll write to them and come visit. He extracts the same promise from them, and even gets them to grudgingly agree they might tolerate some overlap in their visits, if he so badly wants to have them around at the same time. 

More surprisingly, Lan Wangji also comes knocking on the last day Nie Huaisang spends in the Cloud Recesses. He too offers a correspondence, which Nie Huaisang readily accepts. He doesn't say, but he's already plotting to invite Lan Wangji to Qinghe, and perhaps by some planning on error on his part, Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian will be there at the same time. 

More surprising, Lan Xichen also comes visiting a few hours after his brother. For a moment Nie Huaisang half wonders if he too will ask if they can write to each other. In the end he doesn't, choosing instead to say a few empty words about being proud of his fiancé's well deserved success. Nie Huaisang, who is not disappointed by this, ends up sending him away so he can finish packing. 

-

Being home again is the best.

Nie Huaisang's first week back in the Unclean Realm is, without a doubt, the happiest time of his life. He tells Nie Mingjue everything he's done while he was away (everything he can share, anyway). He visits all his favourite spots in the Unclean Realm, in Qinghe, and in the countryside around. He checks on his surviving birds and dotes on them. He sleeps in as late as he can, and refuses to do anything even slightly useful. It's paradise. 

By the second week, paradise loses some of its glow and boredom settles in. Doing nothing at all is only fun for a short while. More importantly, Nie Huaisang soon finds himself kind of lonely. Now that he's had friends, the company of his birds doesn't quite satisfy him the way it used to. His myna can speak a few sentences, but that's just not the same as chatting with Jiang Cheng or arguing with Jin Zixuan. Nie Mingue is there, but he's far too busy, as are most of the disciples. Nie Fangjie rose in rank after his time in Gusu and is rarely free, while He Zimu had to go home to meet the fiancée his parents picked for him. 

Nie Huaisang writes to all his friends, but it'll be a long while before he gets an answer, and that depresses him further. He doesn't quite fall back to the sort of moods he was in during his first year in the Cloud Recesses, but it's not so far off either. 

The difference is that this time, Nie Mingjue notices. 

It's a right pain in the ass at first, because Nie Huaisang wants to wallow in his misery while his brother is determined to drag him out of it, even kicking and screaming. It sparks quite a few arguments between them, which is rather new. Nie Huaisang never really had the guts to argue with his brother before. Nie Mingjue doesn't seem to mind, anyway. If anything, he seems pretty happy to find that his little brother won't let himself be pushed around so easily. 

By the end of Nie Huaisang's first month back at home, they've reached a balance of sorts. Nie Huaisang has to train daily, both with the sabre and in hand-to-hand combat since he definitely still enjoys that. He also has to learn how to help Nie Mingjue deal with sect business, which is even more boring than the lectures in the Cloud Recesses, but gives them a decent excuse to spend time together. Nie Mingjue doesn't say, but Nie Huaisang suspects it's also a way to prepare him for the role that will be his in the future. Qingheng-Jun is a healthy man with many years ahead of him, but someday Lan Xichen will have to succeed him and Nie Huaisang will have to step up and help him. 

With all this piling up, when Nie Huaisang does get a bit of freedom, he rarely mopes around. There are too many things to paint, too many fans to decorate, and his birds to train, and that shop in Qinghe he wants to visit, or that new book of poetry he found in the library. 

Which isn't to say there are no bad days anymore. Some mornings it's a struggle just to get out of bed. Nie Mingjue doesn't get it, even if he tries, and seems to think that on those days Nie Huaisang needs to be kept even busier than usual to push away any bad thoughts. After it happens once or twice, Nie Huaisang gives up on explaining why that doesn't work. Instead, when a bad mood strikes, he just hides. It's easy enough, in a place like the Unclean Realm. 

The best place to hang out undisturbed, Nie Huaisang figures out, is a little alcove hidden behind the throne room where his brother conducts his meetings. Nobody ever goes in there, and he's half sure nobody even remembers it exists. He's done some research, and it was built alongside the main room so the sect leader's wives could listen in on important business without being seen by guests. It's not very big, but it's comfortable enough that he can lounge around and paint, or read, or just listen to his brother's increasing frustration over not finding him. It also means that if something really does require his presence, he can know and appear quickly at his brother's side. 

It's Nie Huaisang’s second favourite place in the Unclean Realm, right after the place where he keeps his birds. 

It's a little under two months after returning home that Nie Huaisang, hiding in his alcove and slowly recovering from a bout of depression by snickering over some very bad poetry, is startled to hear a familiar voice conversing with his brother. 

"I'm really sorry for dropping by unannounced," Lan Xichen is saying. "I apologise for the inconvenience. But since I was in the area, I thought it'd be ridiculous not to say hi." 

Even perfectly hidden as he is, Nie Huaisang can't help but tense. This is the first time he's anywhere near Lan Xichen since graduating a few weeks ago. He's not nervous, of course he's not, but he's also. He's not quite comfortable. 

"Well, you know I'm always happy to see you," Nie Mingjue replies. "I'm a little busy right now, but if you don't mind waiting…" 

"Actually…" 

There is a moment of silence. Nie Huaisang is tempted to check what's happening through one of the small openings that exist for that exact purpose, but before he gets to that, Lan Xichen speaks again. 

"Actually, and I hope you won't mind," he says, sounding oddly uncertain, "but the person I was most hoping to see is your brother. I'll be happy to chat with you as well of course, but if he allows it I'd like to spend time with him first." 

Nie Huaisang feels punched, but in the main room, his brother just laughs. 

"What, you didn't get enough of that brat last year? After how much you complained that he doesn't like you, I'd have thought you'd be glad not to see him until the wedding." 

"Mingjue, don't tease me." 

"Why not? I don't get the chance often. Oh, fine, I won't. I will survive this betrayal of seeing my brother's company preferred over mine, so go chat with him if you like. You'll have to find him first, though. He's gotten a little too good at hiding." 

"Then with your permission, I'll look for him. I'm sure he'll let himself be found if he wishes to be, and otherwise… I'll just wait for you to be free." 

Lan Xichen sounds so resigned, as if he dares not hope for the first option but the second would make him sad. 

It's just so awkward to hear him be like this. Nie Huaisang almost miss the days when Lan Xichen was nothing but cold and insufferable. It made it easy to hate him, and at least Nie Huaisang knew where they stood. Now though… he just doesn't know what to make of his fiancé anymore. He's starting to wonder if maybe Lan Xichen wasn't sincere every time he's said that he wants them to get along, when he promised to improve and that's absolutely awful. It makes everything too complicated. 

So Nie Huaisang discreetly escapes, and takes hidden paths to go be with his birds. It's not as good of a hiding place, but their company always calms him down, which he badly needs. Luckily it's even cleaning day, so that's a good hour of hard, gruesome work to distract him from the perspective of maybe facing his fiancé later. 

There's only a few birds left, which still takes Nie Huaisang by surprise every time even though he should be used to it now. That incident really decimated them, and he can't even get new ones. In little more than a year, two at most, he'll have to leave them behind for good, so it'd be pointless. Usually it doesn’t bother him too much, but on a day where his mood is already so near to collapsing... As he cleans the cages and checks on food and water, Nie Huaisang finds himself focusing on that future loss. If he thinks of everything that he'll leave behind, he can make himself hate Lan Xichen again, almost, and he’s in a bad enough state that feeling hatred is better than not feeling anything at all.

"Good afternoon, Nie gongzi." 

Nie Huaisang startles at the sudden appearance of Lan Xichen in this private space, and nearly drops the seeds he was carrying for his pair of parakeets. He quickly recovers though, and bows to his visitor. 

"Lan gongzi, what a surprise! I had no idea you were coming to the Unclean Realm. If you're looking for my brother, you might want to try the training grounds."

"I've seen your brother already, and told him you were the one I was visiting this time," Lan Xichen explains. Even though Nie Huaisang already knew that, it sends his heart racing to hear it said so calmly, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "Mingjue was not sure where you might be," Lan Xichen continues, "so he allowed me to look for you while he handles other business. This seemed like a good place to start, and I was right." 

His heart still beating too hard in embarrassment, Nie Huaisang turns around, ostensibly so he can continue feeding his birds. 

"Lan gongzi must find me very childish, still so obsessed with my pets." 

Lan Xichen does not reply right away. Nie Huaisang hates how careful he has become, just as much as he is grateful for it. 

"If I have accused you of this, and for that reason, I'm sorry," he says at last, sounding painfully earnest. "It was wrong of me. From what your brother says, you are very diligent at caring for your birds and except when forced to go away, you always take full responsibility for them. There's nothing childish about that."

Nie Huaisang's heart squeezes at the words, so painfully he almost feels like he's dying. He hates this. He misses the days when he could just tell himself it was all fake, that Lan Xichen was either forcing himself or subtly insulting him.

"You're always trying so hard to say the right thing," Nie Huaisang accuses, with far less venom than he intended.

"I hope I can do the right thing as well. Just saying it doesn't do much good." 

Nie Huaisang sighs. This is annoying. He hates that his heart beats so fast, he hates that his cheeks feel warmer, he hates that he desperately wants Lan Xichen to be sincere. He hates that he's certain Lan Xichen is sincere.

"Listen, just… give me a moment to finish this," he mutters. "Then we can go back and have tea or something. We have actual, nice biscuits here. They even taste sweet, if you can believe that." 

Behind him, Lan Xichen chuckles lightly. It's not an unpleasant sound, as Nie Huaisang has discovered during his last few weeks in Gusu.

"If you tell me what to do, I can try to help you," Lan Xichen offers. "Though I'll understand if you'd rather I didn't." 

"You'll get messy." 

Another soft chuckle, making Nie Huaisang’s heart beat too hard. It's stupid, and he hates that like he hates all the rest, but he likes that Lan Xichen stopped trying to be controlled and perfect with him. He likes it too much. He hates it. 

"I can survive a little mess." 

"Then grab that bucket and bring it near that big cage." 

"The one with the myna?" 

"Hm." 

Nie Huaisang hates that Lan Xichen apparently knows a little about birds. He hates that Lan Xichen doesn't complain as he grabs that bucket filled with filth and carries it as if it weighs nothing. He hates that Lan Xichen smiles at the bird inside and comments how pretty it is. Nie Huaisang hates Lan Xichen because that's what he's done for so long now, and he's not ready yet to face the new warmth in his chest when he looks at the other boy. 

He hates everything today, and wishes Lan Xichen had chosen another day to visit, one where Nie Huaisang is capable of feeling emotions in a normal way so he could try to sort this out in a rational way.

When the birds’ cages are spotless and they all have clean water and fresh food, Nie Huaisang has no choice but to suggest it’s time to return toward the main buildings. Lan Xichen readily agrees and they start walking side by side. It doesn’t take long for something to bother Nie Huaisang, partly because it’s that sort of a day where everything is annoying, but also because a certain detail is becoming hard to ignore.

“How come your clothes are still spotless when mine are filthy?” he complains.

“I must have been more careful,” Lan Xichen replies with a small smile.

“You were not,” Nie Huaisang accuses. “I saw you step in several puddles of dirty water. Your robes have no right to still be this white!”

Lan Xichen chuckles, but says nothing.

“I’m going to have to get changed,” Nie Huaisang laments, annoyed that he is actually upset by that idea. “I mean, I wasn’t planning on having a guest today, so I wasn’t exactly well dressed to begin with. I just wanted something comfortable. But now seeing the two of us together, we look like a great lord and a peasant!”

“Nie gongzi is too handsome to be a peasant.”

Hearing this unexpected compliment, Nie Huaisang stumbles and almost falls face first on the ground, only for Lan Xichen to catch him just in time.

“This is… you’re just trying to distract me from your clean robes!” Nie Huaisang sputters, escaping his fiancé’s grasp so quickly that he almost falls again. “I demand to know how you did that!”

“It’s a Gusu Lan secret,” Lan Xichen retorts, smug enough that it almost feels like teasing. “In due time, I will share it with you, but at the moment, it’s impossible.”

“But there is a trick.”

“Obviously. Can you imagine how many servants we’d have to hire for laundry otherwise? We make children wear white, and people going on Night Hunts as well. Of course there’s a trick.”

It might be the way Lan Xichen says it, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, or the sheer ridicule of imagining Lan disciples in stained robes, but Nie Huaisang finds himself laughing. It's never easy to get that on days like this one, and he’s suddenly glad that Lan Xichen came. His fiancé is proving a more efficient distraction than what he’s tried so far.

When they reach the more frequented areas of the Unclean Realm, Nie Huaisang catches a servant and asks for tea to be served in his room. He then takes Lan Xichen there, inviting the older boy to find somewhere to sit. At first Lan Xichen appears torn between amused and mildly horrified by the mess (Nie Huaisang wasn’t expecting guests, and Nie Mingjue gave up on that particular fight years ago) before gaping in shock when Nie Huaisang removes his outer robe in the middle of the room and throws it in a corner for the servant to pick up later.

“Nie gongzi, are you really getting changed?” he asks, sounding so worried that Nie Huaisang can’t help laughing again.

“Lan gongzi, I’m covered in bird poop and mud, of course I’m getting changed. Ah! Don’t worry, I won’t remove the rest in front of you,” Nie Huaisang adds when Lan Xichen looks like he’s about to have an attack. He motions at a modesty screen. “I’m just removing my shoes and grabbing something clean to put on and then… I’ll try to be quick.”

“Wouldn’t you rather I leave the room?” Lan Xichen protests in a strangled voice, his face completely red.

“No need, that’s what the screen is for, and I’m not bothered. Just sit down, grab a book, and wait for me.”

Without paying his fiancé any more attention, Nie Huaisang selects some nicer robes and clean under layers. Once he starts undressing, he realises that he is dirtier than he initially thought, and is forced to give a quick wash with some water and a towel so he doesn’t ruin his clean clothes.

“I thought you were just getting changed?” Lan Xichen notes when he hears water being poured from its jug into a basin.

“The situation is worse than I thought. Cleaning is dirty business.”

Lan Xichen chuckles at that. “I’ll need to wash my hands as well, come to think of it.”

“Well, you can join me if you’d like. I’m mostly decent, if you’re loose enough on your definition of the word.”

“And what’s your definition?” Lan Xichen asks in a voice dripping with suspicion.

“I’ve got trousers on.”

A moment of silence follows this.

“I think I’ll wait until you’re done,” Lan Xichen says after a moment, and Nie Huaisang grins to himself imagining how uncomfortable his ever proper fiancé must look.

Still, it’d be rude to keep Lan Xichen waiting, and Nie Huaisang’s mood has improved enough that he doesn’t want that. He washes quickly, and gets dressed as fast as he can. His hair, as messy as the rest, is dealt with by tying it into a quick braid. It’s not the most refined he’s ever looked, but it’s not the worst either. When he emerges from behind the modesty screen, Lan Xichen stares at him with an odd expression, his cheeks dusted with red and his lips slightly open.

“Nie gongzi… this suits you well,” he mumbles, averting his gaze.

“Trying too hard again,” Nie Huaisang teases. “Go wash your hands, the tea should be here soon.”

Lan Xichen nods and gets up from the table. He takes a few steps toward the screen, then stops himself and looks for something inside his sleeve before handing it to Nie Huaisang.

“A letter?”

“Since Wangji knew I would be in the area, he asked me to give you this.”

Fidgeting with the piece of paper, Nie Huaisang feels something shifting inside him, as if the good humour he only just got back were already melting away.

“Well, that’s nice,” he stills says. “Do you mind if I start reading it?”

“Not at all.”

And so while Lan Xichen washes his hands, Nie Huaisang gets reading. It’s a short letter, clearly just written because the occasion was there (Nie Huaisang only answered Lan Wangji’s latest missive a few days ago, it wouldn’t have reached Gusu yet). Most of it is about the rabbits, though Lan Wangji notes that they are preparing for the next batch of guest disciples to arrive and he’s hoping they’ll be a quieter bunch this year. It’s only an innocent comment, but reading it makes Nie Huaisang ache for the company of his friends in a way he thought he’d learned to manage. It was so much fun to be all together in the Cloud Recesses, completely carefree. If he had known that he’d have to start behaving more grown-up upon getting home, Nie Huaisang would have gotten up to far more mischief, and he would have tried to enjoy his fun even more.

Just as Lan Xichen is done tidying himself, servants come in with the tea and some very fancy biscuits. Nie Huaisang gave specific orders regarding what’s to be served, amused at that moment by the idea of forcing his fiancé to enjoy something once in a while. It doesn’t seem so funny anymore, not even when Lan Xichen is looking at the biscuits with a mix of gluttony and worry.

It must show that Nie Huaisang’s mood is vacillating. When he’s done pouring tea for both of them, Lan Xichen has stopped staring at the treats and shoots him a concerned look instead.

"I hope the letter did not contain bad news?" 

"No, it did not. I'm just distracted." 

Lan Xichen sips on his tea and hesitantly picks up a biscuit, but does not eat it. 

"Speaking of letters… I have to admit I envy my brother," he says in that cold, careful voice that still annoys Nie Huaisang with how controlled it sounds. 

"How so?" 

"When Wangji told me you agreed to a correspondence with him, I wanted to obtain the same from you," Lan Xichen admits, distractedly playing with his biscuit. "I even went to see you to ask for it, but in the end I wasn't sure if I should, so I said nothing. I didn't want to overstep some boundary." 

Nie Huaisang thinks back on Lan Xichen's brief visit on the last day. He'd been disappointed when his fiancé didn't have anything to say to him that time. He doesn't exactly miss their excruciating weekly meetings but they were still part of what was clearly the best year of his life, and maybe he wouldn't have hated keeping in touch. 

"You can always ask me now," Nie Huaisang offers. "We'll see what I answer." 

"Very well. Nie gongzi, would you be willing to exchange letters with me?" 

Nie Huaisang, to his own surprise, doesn't even hesitate. 

"I'd like that, yes." 

The smile that breaks onto Lan Xichen's face is nothing short of radiant. It's unfair, really, how gorgeous he gets when he's genuinely happy, and Nie Huaisang doesn't know how he feels about being the reason for that happiness. He doesn’t hate it, he supposes. He doesn’t hate Lan Xichen in general, in fact. It’s an odd thing to realise.

Nie Huaisang picks up a biscuit and bites into it, hoping to encourage his fiancé to stop being stupid and have a little fun. It works. Lan Xichen gives in and nibbles at his own biscuit. His eyes widen slightly as the flavour hits his tongue, and in a moment he devours the rest of it. Nie Huaisang snorts, more endeared than he’d prefer.

“So, do you want to talk about something?” Nie Huaisang asks, refusing to linger on the thought that his fiancé can be a little cute at times.

“Yes, actually. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, but never found the right occasion yet,” Lan Xichen announces. “I would like to suggest some arrangements for when we are married.”

Nie Huaisang freezes and stares at him. As a rule, they don’t talk about their future marriage. They never have, except sometimes when arguing. Even in a good mood, Nie Huaisang wouldn’t want to breach that subject, so today, when he’s fighting the need to go hide until everything stop being so much…

“I don’t think I want to talk about that,” he replies, toying with his half eaten biscuit. “Lan gongzi, I don’t believe there’s much to be said on that topic.”

“On the contrary, I have plenty to tell you,” Lan Xichen insists. “I think it would please you to…”

“Not today,” Nie Huaisang cuts him. “I’m having the sort of day where nothing could please me, and quite frankly, that topic… it’s not something I want to think about at all. Can’t we chat about something less distressing?”

Lan Xichen frowns at that reaction. Nie Huaisang braces himself for his fiancé to insist, perhaps even for an argument to happen if Lan Xichen decides he’s tired of being nice without getting anything in return. Neither things happen.

“Of course I won’t force you to speak of this if you don’t want to,” Lan Xichen says with surprising gentleness. “I do believe we should discuss it while we have time, but if you’re unwell today, then the time isn’t right for it. Is there anything I can do to help you?”

“Not unless you can magically change my mood,” Nie Huaisang scoffs, uncertain how to react to kindness when he hasn’t prepared for it.

“I could try to do that,” Lan Xichen offers, startling him. “Or something to that effect. There are a few Lan songs that can calm an unquiet mind. I could play one for you, if you’d like.”

Nie Huaisang drops his biscuit on the table.

“I thought the Lan songs were just used for battle?”

Laughing softly, Lan Xichen shakes his head. “Those would be the one most people know about, but we have many other sorts. To calm the mind, to help the body heal, to improve the quality of meditation… we’re a musical sect, and we take that very seriously. Even now, some members of the sect still try to come up with new techniques.”

“I had no idea,” Nie Huaisang admits. “I didn’t really try to learn about Gusu Lan, aside from all your stupid rules.”

“Don’t worry, you’re not alone in that. Ask any cultivator what Gusu Lan does, they will tell you that we invent rules faster than the flowers bloom in spring, and that we’re deadly with a guqin. We’re more than that, though, just as Qinghe Nie is more than brute force and sabres.”

“Uh. Guess I’m learning a lot about your sect today,” Nie Huaisang muses. “Secrets to keep your robes clean, and healing songs… Lan gongzi, your people are more surprising than I’d have thought.”

"I'm glad if you feel that way," Lan Xichen replies, his smile warm and soft. "I hope you'll want to continue learning more about us. For now though, would you let me play for you?" 

Nie Huaisang shrugs, and nods. If this works, his mood will be improved. If it doesn't… Lan Xichen is a skilled musician, so he'll have that pleasure if nothing else. 

It takes a little more preparation than Nie Huaisang would have expected to hear a Lan healing song. He can’t help a slight grimace when Lan Xichen explains he’ll have to get into a meditative state, never an easy feat for him, but apparently the melody itself is meant to help with that. Nie Huaisang grumbles and mutters and struggles to find a comfortable position on his sitting mat, but once he’s somewhat settled, Lan Xichen starts playing on his xiao.

At first, Nie Huaisang is certain this won’t work. His brain is still jumping from one thought to the other, aching with the way he misses his friends, and how he can’t seem to enjoy being home even when he should enjoy it while it lasts because soon, in some months now, even if there’s no clear date yet…

But as the melody goes on, Nie Huaisang finds that it envelopes his thoughts and pacifies them. The fears and worries are still there, but their sharp edges which were hurting him are rounded off by the music, making them less distressing.

When the last note drops, Nie Huaisang takes a moment before opening his eyes, enjoying the peaceful feeling inside his heart. It had been a while since he felt this calm. In fact, he’s not sure he’s felt like that before, not since his mother's death.

“That’s a very efficient song,” he sighs when he finally opens his eyes, slow and deliberate. “Thank you, Lan gongzi.”

“It’s my pleasure. Did it help?”

Nie Huaisang nods. He feels oddly light, in a very pleasant way. “Lan gongzi, you’ll have to play it again for me next time we meet.”

Lan Xichen laughs softly, his eyes crinkling with joy. He really is handsome like this, and Nie Huaisang finds himself smiling at his fiancé. If Lan Xichen asked again to talk about their future marriage, Nie Huaisang would agree because for the very first time, the idea doesn’t fill him with dread. There are worse people to marry out there, and Nie Huaisang is starting to feel he might be as lucky as people have told him he was, all those years.

But Lan Xichen doesn’t bring up that subject again. Instead they end up chatting about Lan Wangji’s bunnies, and how much he dotes on them, which in turns makes them talk about the younger boy’s crush on Wei Wuxian. Nie Huaisang is just starting to share his cunning plan to bring both of them to Qinghe when there’s a knock on the door. Before Nie Huaisang can invite the person in, Nie Mingjue barges inside the room and unceremoniously comes to sit next to his brother.

“Very rude of you both to have tea and not invite me,” he comments, snatching a handful of biscuits and shoving them in his mouth.

“Gross!” Nie Huaisang gasps, wishing he had a fan to hit his brother with. He has to slap him with his hand instead, which is a lot less refined. “If you’re not invited, then why are you still here?”

“I can’t let my brat of a brother try to steal my friend,” Nie Mingjue retorts. “Besides, you always have the best biscuits when you’re having tea. How come I can never get them when I ask for them?”

“Because I hide them from you, having paid for them with my own money,” Nie Huaisang retorts, grabbing the plate and holding it out of reach when his brother tries to grab a few more. “Don’t! They’re not for you! Lan gongzi, help!”

Of course Nie Mingjue, being the tall, long limbed monster that he is, can almost grasp the plate even when his brother is trying his hardest to keep his precious biscuits out of reach. They are both stunned and nearly lose their balance when Lan Xichen snatches the plate away from Nie Huaisang’s hands, looking a little lost about what his next move should be.

“Run with them!” Nie Mingjue enthusiastically orders. “We can share them!”

Lan Xichen’s eyes jump between the two brothers a few times before he shakes his head.

“He said he paid for them,” he softly protests. “If you want some, ask him nicely.”

Nie Mingjue gasps at that betrayal while Nie Huaisang, after the first moment of shock, starts laughing so hard he can hardly breathe.

“Xichen, you turn against me like this?” Nie Mingjue complains. “Aren’t we friends?”

His tone is so falsely pathetic that Lan Xichen chuckles and grins.

“We’re friends, but he’s my fiancé. I’ve got to take his side when it's needed, don’t I?”

Nie Huaisang’s laughter dies in his throat, stunned for a moment by that simple declaration, the way Lan Xichen says it as if it’s the most evident thing ever. Something shifts inside his chest, something big, something so soft it is nearly agonising.

The moment passes quickly because Nie Mingjue, not one to accept betrayal so easily, turns against Lan Xichen and tries to steal the biscuits from him instead. This in turn forces Nie Huaisang to team up with his fiancé so they can protect the precious sweets from being eaten in an uncouth manner. All three of them laugh when, after some struggling and a movement too quick, the biscuits end up falling on the floor. Nie Huaisang pretends to be heartbroken until the other two both promise they’ll buy him new ones, at which point he just joins them again in laughing.

He’d never thought the three of them would ever have fun like this someday, but he’s glad to have been proven wrong.

[ohshitmomitsawritingblog]

Hi! Can I request romantic hcs of post-war Sasuke? Like, would there be anything different from how it would've been before the war? Would it be someone from another village?

 Post-war sasuke …. anon your mind. All sasukes are good but this one is like a fine wine WITH a complimentary cheeseboard because there’s just so. much. potential. Also this got really really long and a bit off topic and I apologize DEEPLY.

Post-War Sasuke

So. Post war sasuke. Sad, broken, beat down. I think as much as Sasuke tries to be content with his lot in life, he’s just tired in a way pre-war Sasuke just isn’t.

Like. Here’s the thing. Sasuke hasn’t ever, in his life, been able to form a solid identity for himself. People talk about being shaped by trauma, and this is especially true for Sasuke. Being born a Uchiha, for better or worse, puts Sasuke on the outskirts of the society he’s born into before he’s even aware of it. The murder of his clan is compounded by the betrayal of his brother. This is the big event that triggers a lot of things around and inside Sasuke. Other smaller, but still traumatizing, life altering things happen. Orochimaru happened. The Chuunin exams happens. Itachi happens. Again.

An early Shippuden romance with Sasuke would be slightly possible in the way that it’s not so much romance as a pre-romance romance. Not quite friends but not quite lovers because Sasuke wouldn’t ever say ‘I love you’ or ‘you’re mine and we’re exclusive’. It’s just an unspoken agreement/ultimatum.

If Sasuke ever took interest in anyone during his time with Orochimaru, it’d be something he’d only be half aware of, or dismiss entirely.

In a lot of ways, he’d be far more rigid than post war Sasuke in love. His S/O is with him, or against him. They have to, HAVE TO fully support his revenge against Itachi, and later on Konoha, or no dice.

He could be very oblivious to downright dismissive to his S/O’s feelings and thoughts. This trait is especially prevalent during Sasuke’s very Special Corrupt Political Figure Assassination arc.

Speaking of which, Akatsuki/Danzo Murder arc Sasuke? -100 chance at romance. Please avoid.

This is of course on the premise that he gets with someone. More than likely, he wouldn’t get into any sort of relationship with a potential S/O.

He’ll push away any sort of romantic relationship, even if he really, really likes someone. He’s not at the point of burning out yet, and maybe, in the back of his mind that is isolated from the many, many roadblocks, he pictures a world where he can speak with this person who he so clearly - in his mind - likes, one on one, with no threat of a tragedy, repeated, tugging at his brain like a dark cloud.

Ultimately, pre-war, (especially early Shippuden) Sasuke is a human being, and humans love and crave connection. Of course there’s the possibility that he’d be interested.

Sasuke however, is someone driven by fear. Fear of loss, fear of not being good enough, fear of always, always failing the most important people in his life in the most fundamental of ways. 

To quote Game of Throne’s Gregor Clegane: ‘The pain was bad (…) but the worst thing was, was that it was my brother who did it.’ Which I think summarizes that kind of betrayal, and resulting fear of becoming close to others, that Sasuke carries with him. Part of the reason Sasuke is the way he is, is because he’s unable to process and move on from the pain Itachi inflicts on him. Not even Itachi’s half admittance of the wrongs he’s done to Sasuke and the resulting declaration of love really changes Sasuke on a fundamental level, because it’s ultimately not for Sasuke, it’s for Itachi.

Sasuke post-war is a Sasuke that gives up. He’s tired, he’s burnt out, his brain and to a lesser extent his body is just worn down from the single minded drive for revenge Sasuke has carried with him for so long. 

He goes with Konoha because it is familiar, and it is the only place who will take him. He accepts punishment because part of him is convinced he deserves it - because killing Itachi only made him more confused, only added to the grief - and because it’s just easier than fighting a system that has proven well adept at crushing Uchihas. 

He leaves because he can’t tolerate Konoha - and the people in it - for very long. He loves them. He hates him. He resents. He envies. He ultimately feels empty, and is convinced he deserves this feeling. 

I think the biggest difference between pre- and post-war Sasuke, is that he’s so worn down that he just can’t run from his feelings anymore.

There’s no pushing away, or avoiding it when he gets hit with romantic feelings for someone.

Sasuke is burnt out, but he’s young, and for once in his life, as he wonders Shinobi lands by himself, he learns about the world outside of the context of potential battle and conflict. He learns about fertility festivals held in oceanside villages in the south of the Land of Wind; he learns of women who dive deep into the oceans in search of pearls and other treasures in the Land of Waves. He learns he likes dango, just not the kind made in Konoha. He learns he doesn’t the overly savory, preserved foods that are popular in the north. 

In that way, I can see it being more likely that he meets an S/O outside of Konoha. I wouldn’t entirely shoot down the possibility, it’s just not as likely, just by the fact that Sasuke makes sure he’s almost always out of the village if he has the option. 

This is an imagines blog so the details of how, where, and why Sasuke meets and hooks up with his S/O is up in the air: but let it be known that when Sasuke falls in love, he falls so far, and so fucking deep. He’s helpless. 

The gravity and depth of his feelings both scare and excite him. He carries some intense anxieties over the future of the relationship close to his chest, but unlike before, where Sasuke would distance himself from those feelings, he holds them tight. He doesn’t know what’s different now. He only knows he wants what he has with his S/O, and maybe, just maybe, even more.

Sasuke eventually goes from learning about himself, to opening himself to another again. This time, it’s new, and this time, he actually has a choice. 

Sasuke’s love language is a mix of quality time and the spoken word. He’s an intellectual lover, he falls in love with people through a mixture of spending time in the same space, working toward the same goal, and exchanging words. He likes someone whose an introspective conversationalist. His and his S/O’s talks are sometimes casual and go nowhere, and sometimes deep and in the middle of the night. All of them are important to him.

The courtship is an agonizingly slow, but steady process. Sasuke doesn’t quite know how to operate in a romantic relationship, and he’s too proud to confide that in his S/O, even after they get together. 

He’s not exactly an easy person to love, and although Sasuke isn’t as prickly and turbulent as he was in his past, old habits die hard. He’s a bit like a cat: wanting attention and love on his terms, and gets spooked over the most minor of infractions. He needs an S/O with a lot of patience and a strong backbone.

He wakes his S/O up in the middle of the night, tells them something horribly fucked up from his past, and then turns over and falls into a dead asleep. 

When he cries in front of his S/O for the first time and feels no shame, nor need to hide himself, that’s when he knows it’s for real for real.

As a romantic gift of sorts, he’ll take his S/O to remote, out of the way villages or places he particularly liked. The peace and fascination these places instill in him is something he wants to share with his S/O.

Sasuke isn’t one for material gifts. He’s grown up with that fat Uchiha check in his bank account, always had food in his stomach and cloths on his back, so he just really sees no point in things like jewelry or cloths as gifts. 

Sasuke was always inclined to more practical, no frills-oriented way of life, and living a very nomadic lifestyle encouraged this trait. If he moves in with his S/O, he has absolutely no idea how to decorate, and even less interest. To make himself feel useful, he would probably would opt to do things like put together a kitchen full of good quality ingredients and cutlery. It takes time for Sasuke to get used to domestic living in more ways than one.

Home is a very strange concept for Sasuke. It would be a huge shift in their relationship, and in Sasuke, to take that step to move in together.

 I don’t think post-war Sasuke thinks about his life in neat terms like his younger self would. I think pre-war Sasuke would probably think he would get married before even considering moving in with someone. Produce heirs out of obligation to his clan. Become a respected man in his field of choice. Everything an honorable son of a practically dead clan would do.

instead, post-war Sasuke takes life in stride, especially with the presence of an S/O. If they aren’t keen on marriage or children, Sasuke just goes with it. It’s not that he’s willing to obey his S/O’s every wish so much as he’s just more relaxed. If it happens, it happens. 

Labels and titles become something he just doesn’t care much about. If he loves his S/O he loves his S/O, if he’s shadow Hokage he’s shadow Hokage; or not. It’s that simple.

In terms of physical affection, Sasuke has a tendency to sling his arm around his S/O’s neck and bring their face up (or down) to his level and kisses them on the cheek pretty habitually. It’s a very territorial display.

On the rare occasion he wants something put out for display, like a bowl he was gifted in a tiny village, or a painting given as a gift from whatever small kingdom he visits, he’ll present it to his S/O first. Even if they’re with Sasuke on his travels, or staying in whatever village or town they decide to settle in, it’s important to Sasuke that his S/O has a say in just about everything in their lives. He also just wants them to like his rare assertion to the aesthetics of their home.

Speaking of, he’s the type of man who secretly loves hearing his partner’s opinions, but will never show it. This is in direct contrast to a younger Sasuke, who didn’t want to hear anything from anyone about anything. With age comes wisdom and a willingness to love people in the way they deserve, with this guy.

Sasuke just overall becomes more pensive and considerate. While he’s not ever exactly perfectly mentally healthy, and he can have bad, bad tunnel vision, the days of feeling hunted by his own emotions are more or less gone. Life is a less frantic need to succeed as soon as possible so much as it is to just live. It makes for a lighter Sasuke.

If Sasuke and his S/O have children, he practically becomes a homebody. Despite his feelings of obligation towards Naruto, he puts aside his unofficial title as shadow Hokage and well and truly settles down. Family is so, so important to Sasuke. Starting one scares the hell out of him, when he has his first child he promises himself that he’ll never, never leave them. He knows what it is to be alone and put aside. He would never do that to his child. Fuck what Kishimoto said.

Also as an end note: Blood Bank is a very Romantic Sasuke Song.

[zi-i-think]

1 | Just Chill Out

Pairing: Zuko x Ama (OC)

Word Count: 5400+

.☽☼☾.

          Ama was the kinda girl that fought hard. Her persistence is what made her a great waterbender. She and Katara were both very competitive and dueled together for practice. And while it was often a close tie, it didn't change the fact that Ama was older by two years and usually won.

         Usually, Ama styled her hair with a half ponytail and the hair by her ears was tied. Her kimono-like tunic was a light blue and sleeveless. Her loose pants were a darker shade of blue, ending at her shin to make room for her dark brown warm shoes. Lastly, her forearms and her palms were wrapped with white cloth.

         Through their adventures with the Avatar, the Water Tribe siblings learned and grew both together and individually. Sokka and Ama were more similar in their humor, taking it from their dad. Katara and Ama were similar in many ways, but not when it came to who was more stubborn. Katara held the most grudges. It was why it was harder to accept her mother's death.

         So when Zuko arrived, Ama was quick to try to give him another chance after the night in Ba Sing Se. He was the only person that was actually her age and the two were quick to get along. Especially after he helped Ama and Sokka rescue their dad from the Boiling Rock Prison. So after Katara and Zuko went on their little field trip to avenge their mother and came back actually tolerating each other, Ama felt more at ease.

         The 16 year old girl didn't acknowledge her little crush on the firebender. She ignored the butterflies in her stomach when he sat next to her and the way they would touch while they were sparring with each other. After all, the last time she had a crush on someone, it ended in a less than ideal way.

         "He's just a friend." She would tell herself while they rested after sparing.

         This leads to the present. Team Avatar stayed at one of Fire Lord Ozai's houses on Ember Island. Aang and Zuko practiced their firebending in the courtyard. Toph laid on the ground while Katara and Ama watched the boys. Ama would never admit it, but she couldn't take her eyes off the fire prince. And him being shirtless didn't help.

         Considering they were in the Fire Nation, Ama's clothes consisted of a red, sleeveless crop top and loose pants that ended at the calf of her leg. Her shoes were simple black flats that she had to tie round her ankle with a string. The only difference in her hair was that her half ponytail was a half bun and her hair wasn't tied at the front.

         "Doesn't it seem kinda weird that we're hiding from the Fire Lord in his own house?" Katara wondered, looking around the courtyard as the boy's finished their bending.

         "I told you, my father hasn't come here since our family was actually happy." Zuko responded by the fountain and wiped his hair with a yellow towel. "And that was a long time ago. This is the last place anyone would think to look for us."

         "You guys are not going to believe this." Sokka announced, jogging towards them with Suki following behind. "There's a play about us."

         "We were just in town and we found this poster." Suki said and Sokka unrolled the poster in his hand. The poster showed Aang in the middle with Sokka, Katara and Ama behind him. In the background there was a close up of Zuko's eyes, except his scar was on the wrong side. Then there was the information written and playwright.

         "What? How is that possible?" Katara asked, everyone crowded around to look at the poster.

         "Listen to this." Sokka began to read the poster. "The Boy in the Iceberg is a new production from acclaimed playwright Pu On Tim who scoured the globe gathering information on the Avatar from the icy South Pole to the heart of Ba Sing Se. His sources including singing nomads, pirates, prisoners of war and a surprisingly knowledgeable merchant of cabbage."

         "Brought to you by the critically acclaimed Ember Island Players." Suki finished.

         "Ugh." Zuko had a disgusted look on his face, already opposing to the idea. "My Mother used to take us to see them. They butchered "Love Amongst The Dragons" every year."

v"Sokka, do you really think it's a good idea for us to attend a play about ourselves?" Katara already considered how bad the idea was.

         "Come on, a day at the theatre? This is the kind of wacky time wasting nonsense I've been missing." Begged Sokka with a huge grin.

         "I'd actually like to see it." Ama took the scroll from her brother's hand and examined the actress playing her. It wasn't that accurate. The actress was too pale and had too much makeup on. Plus the clothing was a more sexualized, the tunic being a little too low cut. "Might be fun to see how we're portrayed."

.☽☼☾.

         That night, the Gaang headed to the theatre. They sat in a private viewing box on the second floor facing the stage. Toph and Katara and Ama took their seats in the first row while Zuko walked in the opposite direction wearing a hooded cloak and sat in the empty spot between Ama and Katara as Aang confidently tried to sit next to Katara. Aang stood up and rubbed his neck.

         "Hey, uh... I wanted to sit there." Aang sheepishly pointed at the seat.

         "Just sit next to Sokka, what's the big deal?" Zuko said a bit aggressively and he took off his hood.

         "I was just... I wanted to..." Aang couldn't get a sentence in before giving in and going to the second row. "Okay."

         "Why are we sitting in the nosebleed section? My feet can't see a thing from up here." Toph complained as the lights dimmed.

         "Don't worry, I'll tell your feet what's happening." Katara assured her.

         The curtain was drawn up to reveal a prop of a canoe surrounded by moving set decorations of water and the backdrop was a crude painting of icebergs. The Water Tribe sibling actors rowed the fake canoe with their oars.

         Ama felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked back seeing her brother point to her and back to himself rapidly. Ama chucked at his reaction to the play and then looked back at the stage.

         Katara's actress was similar to Ama's in that they both had more revealing clothes and had too much blusher on their cheeks. Actress Katara sighed deeply. "My dear siblings. We constantly roam these icy South Pole seas and yet never do we find anything fulfilling."

         "Katara, must you always be so dramatic?" Actor Ama spoke, almost lazily paddling the fake canoe. "Just chill out a bit. Like the ice around us." She made a pun so that the audience would get a laugh.

         Actor Sokka was buck-toothed and thinner than the actual Sokka and his wolf-tail ponytail was way too large. "All I want is a full feeling in my stomach, I'm starving!" The audience laughed loudly at the low-quality joke.

         The real Water Tribe siblings looked at each other in disbelief. Katara and Sokka seemed very disappointed, but Ama was making a mental note to use that pun for the future.

         "Is food the only thing on your mind?" Actress Katara asked.

         "Well, I'm trying to get it out of my mind and into my mouth. I'm starving." Actor Sokka made the same joke twice.

         "This is pathetic" Sokka whispered to Ama and Katara. "My jokes are way funnier than this."

         "I think he's got you pegged." Toph laughed.

         "Everyday, the World awaits a beacon to guide us, yet none appears." Actress Katara melodramatically spoke as Actor Sokka paddled the canoe. "Still, we cannot give up hope. For hope is all we have and we must never relinquish it. Even," She sniffed. "even to our dying breath." She pretended to cry loudly.

         "Well, that's just silly." Katara commented while Sokka and Suki snickered. "I don't sound like that."

         "Oh man, this writer's a genius." Toph giggled and clenched her stomach.

         On stage, a white-blue light illuminated and actresses Katara and Ama looked up at it in a dainty way. The iceberg prop slowly moved to the centre of the stage with a cut out of Aang swaying from side to side on a stick inside the iceberg.

         "It appears to be someone frozen in ice. Perhaps for a hundred years." Actress Katara gaped with hands on her cheeks for dramatic effect.

         "But who? Who is the boy in the iceberg?" Actor Sokka asked.

         Aang grabbed the railings in anticipation with an excited look. Zuko looks bored, resting his cheek on his hand.

         Actress Ama climbed to the top of the iceberg prop while the other two actors were still climbing up. "Waterbend, hai-ya!" Actress Ama yelled and performed a chopping motion and a crack appeared on the iceberg. It opened with the interior smoking where a lady dressed as Aang jumped out, winked and posed.

         Aang was repulsed.

         "Who are you, frozen boy?" Actress Katara asked.

         "I'm the Avatar, silly. Here to spread joy and fun." Actress Aang grinned from ear to ear.

         "Wait, is that a woman playing me?" Aang wondered with a distraught tone.

         A shaggy, white Chinese lion get-up meant to portray Appa popped out from the remnants of the iceberg and moved from side to side before it circled round the iceberg and made a gruff animal noise.

         "An airbender." Actress Katara gasped. "My heart is so full of hope that it's making me tearbend." She fell to her knees and hugged actress Aang's leg as she cried loudly.

         "My stomach is so empty that it's making me tearbend." Actor Sokka dropped to his knees and grabbed actress Aang's other leg and sobbed with Actress Katara. "I need meat."

         "But wait is that a platter of meaty dumplings?" Actress Aang pointed up.

         "Ooh. Where? Where?" Actor Sokka looked around desperately.

         "Did I mention that I'm an incurable prankster?" Actress Aang giggled uncontrollably.

         "I don't do that." Aang got irritated. The others turned around to look at him while he glared at the stage. "That's not what I'm like! And... I'm not a woman!"

         Toph thought otherwise and laughed loudly. "Oh, they nailed you, Twinkle Toes."

         Then on stage, Zuko's ship entered with actor Zuko poised near the front of the ship, looking through a telescope.

         "Prince Zuko, you must try this cake." Actor Iroh offered.

         Actor Zuko wore his Fire Nation armor with a long, exaggerated ponytail. His scar most definitely on the wrong side. "I don't have time to stuff my face. I must capture the Avatar to regain my honor!"

         "Well, while you do that, maybe I'll capture another slice." Actor Iroh stuffed his face in the cake prop.

         "You sicken me." Actor Zuko said with his raspy voice and then looked back in the telescope.

         "They make me totally stiff and humorless." Zuko crossed his arms and critiqued.

         "Maybe that's because you are stiff and humorless." Ama crossed her arms and sent him a smirk. "So, I'd say it's pretty spot on."

         "How could you say that!" Zuko got offended, but Ama just chuckled at him.

         "Let's forget about the Avatar and get massages." Actor Iroh suggested happily.

         "How could you say that?!" Actor Zuko shouted.

         Real Zuko looked defeated and slouched in his seat as Ama started to laugh at the irony of the moment. And while her eyes were closed and she wiped her tears of laughter, Zuko looked at her with a slight smile.

         The scenes were all incredibly over exaggerated. Katara hated the melodramatic portrayal of her, Sokka hated the jokes, and Ama hated how overly sympathetic but competitive they made her.

         In one scene with a pirate ship in the backdrop. The leading characters slid out from underneath a pirate's skirt as the six pirates fought and slowly moved offstage. Actress Ama clenched a large scroll.

         "Why did you have to steal that waterbending scroll?" Actor Sokka complained.

         "Because, all I want is to help with waterbending." Actress Ama responded defensively. "And I must be better than Aang." The actress sent a glare at Actress Aang and stomped off.

         Real Ama was unamused and rolled her eyes. "I'd say it's pretty stop on." Zuko whispered to her. The waterbender gaped offendedly at him, but also was amused at how he threw her comment from earlier back at her.

         In one scene, Actress Aang was tied on stage while Actor Zuko stood proudly. "The Avatar is mine!" Actor Zuko shouted then pointed to the side. "Wait, who's coming?"

         An actor wearing a large tiki Blue Spirit mask that covers his whole body stepped out with duel swords. "I am the Blue Spirit. The scourge of the Fire Nation here to save the Avatar." The actor "fought" off the Fire Nation actors.

         "My hero." Actress Aang jumped off the platform and sits on top of the tiki mask and the Blue Spirit walked offstage.

         Zuko and Aang who looked at each other with slight "sweatdrop" expressions.

         The next scene showed the Freedom Fighter's. Actress Ama and Actor Jet with a rose in his mouth and a heavily exaggerated anime-like hair were lowered into screen on a platform.

         "Oh, Jet." Actress Ama dramatically and slightly seductively said. "I know my sister likes you as well, but I'm just so much better than her."

         "I know that, baby." Actor Jet pulled the actress close to him. "And to show my love, Jet will wipe out that nasty town for you." A blue sheet of cloth representing water came across the stage and covered the village backdrop. The platform holding actress Ama and actor Jet raised to get them off the stage.

         "Oh Jet, you're so bad." Actress Ama leaned on him and had a flirtatious tone.

         Toph and Katara giggled while Ama held her head in embarrassment. Wondering when the torture would end.

         The first act of the play ended with Actress Aang in an ocean spirit costume destroying Fire Nation ships. Portraying the battle in the North Pole. The crowd cheered and hooted while the Gaang has an opposite reaction and groaned.

.☽☼☾.

         For the intermission they went outside the theatre and on a flight of red steps on a balcony. They were away from the rest of the crowd in order to speak freely.

         "So far, this intermission is the best part of the play." Zuko rightfully complained. He leaned on the stair railing beside where Ama sat.

         "Apparently, the playwright thinks I'm an idiot who tells bad jokes about meat all the time." Sokka criticized. Ironically, he was holding a bag of meat.

         "Yeah, you tell bad jokes about plenty of other topics." Suki quipped with a knowing smirk.

         "I know!" Sokka agreed, taking large bites from his strips of meat.

         "At least this Sokka actor kinda looks like you. That woman playing the Avatar doesn't resemble me at all." Aang's tone was distressed while he buried his head in his hands.

         "I don't know, you are more in touch with your feminine side than most guys." Toph teased him for a reaction from him. And Aang did growl angrily.

         "Relax, Aang." Katara spoke up. "They're not accurate portrayals. It's not like I'm a preachy crybaby who can't resist giving over emotional speeches about hope all the time." Everyone looked at her skeptically. "What?"

         "Yeah. That's not you at all." Aang said sarcastically.

         "Listen, friends. It's obvious that the playwright did his research." Toph spoke. "I know it must hurt but what you're seeing up there on that stage is the truth."

         "The scene with Jet is definitely not the truth." Ama said defensively, pointing to the inside.

         "You're right there." Sokka shrugged. "Cause you definitely can't flirt with guys." He chuckled knowingly and Suki elbowed him, making him stop. Ama's face turned red and avoided looking at Zuko, who indeed looked a little curious.

.☽☼☾.

         Back in the theatre for the next act, the four characters stood in the Earth Kingdom set. "Well, here we are in the Earth Kingdom." Actress Katara announced.

         "I better have a look around to see if I can find an earthbending teacher." A rope pulled Actress Aang off the ground to fly and around the theater.

         "This is it! This must be where I come in." Toph whispered excitedly.

         Actress Aang landed back on the ground. "I flew all over town but I couldn't find a single earthbending master."

         "Here it comes." Toph clenched her fist while there was a drumroll.

         On the stage as a rock prop was lifted by a well built man wearing Toph's outfit who appeared from a trap door under the prop. "You can't find an earthbending master in the sky, you have to look underground." He threw the prop rock to the side.

         The Gaang broke into laughter and Zuko drops his parchment in shock.

         "Who are you?" Actress Aang pointed at the buff actor.

         "My name is Toph because it sounds like tough." He flexed his muscles. "And that's just what I am."

         "Wait a minute," The real Toph used her pinkie to clear her ear. "I sound like... a guy. A really buff guy."

         "Well Toph, what you hear up there is the truth. It hurts, doesn't it?" Katara leaned on the earthbender with a smug look.

         "Are you kidding me?" Toph grinned from ear to ear and giggled. "I wouldn't have cast it any other way. At least it's not a flying bald lady."

         "So, you're blind?" Actress Aang waved her hand in front of Actor Toph's face.

         "I can see you doing that." The actor laughed. "I see everything that you see except that I don't see like you do. I release a sonic wave from my mouth."

         He turned towards the leading characters and screamed. Cut to actor Toph's face. The audience cringed and covered their ears. The Gaang were also cringing but Toph couldn't be happier.

         "There. I got a pretty good look at you." The actor said one he finished.

         The next scene showed actor Zuko and actor Iroh. "Zuko, it's time we had a talk." Actor Iroh pointed. "About your hair. It's gone too far." Actor Zuko's hair was very long and no longer in a ponytail.

         "Maybe it's best if we... split up." Actor Zuko dramatically turned his head and walked away. The long hair flowing behind him.

         A few scenes later, the actors stood around Actress Azula caught in a corner. "Azula! My sister. What are you doing here?" Actor Zuko pointed at the actress in heavy makeup and pink clothing.

         "You caught me. Wait. What's that?" Actress Azula pointed at the ceiling. "I think it's your honor."

         "Where?" Actor Zuko question. All seven actors turned around while Actress Azula used a secret door to escape.

         Real Ama giggled and Zuko looked over at her. Ama caught him looking and covered her left eye. "Honor." She said seriously and with a deep voice before going right back to giggling. The firebender frowned at leaned back in his seat.

         "She escaped. But how?" Actress Katara wondered when they realized she escaped.

         A few scenes later Actor Jet slashed his hook sword arm prop, wearing a pair of crazy eye glasses as the tiny black beads representing his pupils swirl around, portraying that he's insane.

         "No, Jet!" Actress Aang said. "What did they do to you?"

         "Must. Serve. Earth King!" He swung his arms chaotically. "Must... Destroy!"

         Actor Jet made various agonizing noises and acted as if he were having a fit. The rock prop slowly floated into the stage and onto the actor

         "Did Jet just... die?" Real Zuko was really confused.

         "You know, it was really unclear." Sokka responded, only half caring.

         It got to the scene where Ama and Zuko were in the cave in Ba Sing Se together. Where Azula had tricked them both.

         "I have to admit, Prince Zuko. I really find you attractive." Actress Ama spoke.

         "You don't have to make fun of me." Actor Zuko grumbled.

         "But I mean it." Actress Ama got a bit more seductive and sat next to him. "I had eyes for you since the day you first captured me."

         Real Ama and Zuko glanced at each other and blushed a deep red, sinking into their seats. Ama could hear Sokka and Aang snickering from behind them and looked back at them. The two were definitely pointing at the blushing teens.

         "I must admit." The Zuko actor spoke loudly. "I have also had eyes for you!"

         Actress Ama dramatically put her hand on her head. "Oh, but if the others would find out!"

         "They won't!" Actor Zuko pulled the actress into him. "This will be our secret." Ama sighed in relief that they didn't kiss, but just embraced each other.

         "Well, my brother. What's it going to be?" The Azula actress asked in the next scene. "Your nation or a life of treachery?"

         "Choose treachery, it's more fun." Actor Iroh drank a cup of tea and threw a thumbs up.

         "No way!" Actress Azula called when Actor Zuko walked next to the old actor.

         But then Actor Zuko shoved Actor Iroh to the floor and walked next to Azula. "I hate you, Uncle. You smell and I hate you for all time."

         Ama looked next to Zuko, who leaned on the railing. "You didn't really say that, did you?"

         "I might as well have." Zuko responded regrettably and turned away.

.☽☼☾.

         Soon the second act ended with Actress Azula "killing" actress Aang. Team Avatar hung out inside the theatre this time. Zuko kept his hood over his head, sitting on the floor and leaning on the wall. Ama made sure that Toph was between the two before sitting on the floor, still feeling embarrassed by the scene from earlier.

         "It seems like every time there's a big battle you guys barely make it out alive. I mean, you guys lose a lot." Suki commented.

         "You're one to talk, Suki. Didn't Azula take you captive? That's right, she did." Sokka shot back.

         Suki frowned and acted serious. "Are you trying to get on my bad side?"

         "I'm just saying." Sokka said matter-of-factly.

         "Does anyone know where Aang is?" Katara wondered, walking up to the small group.

         "He left to get me fire gummies like, 10 minutes ago. And I'm still waiting." Sokka said impatiently.

         "I'm going to check outside." Katara announced and walked away from them.

         "Wheeee." A little boy in an Aang costume zoomed past the five teens.

         "Suki, what are the chances you can get me backstage? I got some jokes I want to give to the actor me." Sokka asked his girlfriend.

         "I'm an elite warrior who's trained for many years in the art of stealth." Suki said seriously then gave Sokka a large grin. "I think I can get you backstage."

         "Jeez. Everyone's getting so upset about their characters." Toph commented as the couple walked away. "Even you seem more down than usual and that's saying something."

         "You don't get it. It's different for you. You get a muscle-y version of yourself taking down 10 bad guys at once and making sassy remarks." Zuko responded.

         "Yeah, that's pretty great." Toph agreed.

         "But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life and shoves them back in my face." Zuko felt ashamed of himself and turned away a bit. "My Uncle. He's always been on my side even when things were bad. He was there for me. He taught me so much and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret and I may never get to redeem myself."

         "You have redeemed yourself to your Uncle." Toph sunk onto the floor. "You don't realize it but you already have."

         "How do you know?" Zuko asked her.

         "Because I once had a long conversation with the guy and all he would talk about was you."

         The fire prince smiled and put down his hood. "Really?"

         "Yeah, and it was kind of annoying." Toph said.

         "Oh, sorry." Zuko apologized.

         "But it was also very sweet." The young girl told him. "All your Uncle wanted was for you to find your own path and see the light. Now you're here with us. He'd be proud." Zuko smiled until Toph punched his arm

         "Ow." He rubbed his arm in pain and Ama burst out laughing. "What was that for?"

         "That's how I show affection." Toph smiled.

         "Haha, oh Toph. I love you so much." Ama leaned on the girl for some support while cracking up. Then blind girl punched her too. "Ow." It was Toph and Zuko's turn to laugh while Ama rubbed her arm.

         The little boy from earlier came running back around the corner and stopped in front of Zuko. "Your Zuko costume is pretty good but your scar's on the wrong side." He pointed at the scar and then ran off. Zuko's mouth dropped in shock and Ama burst out laughing.

         "The scar is not on the wrong side!" Zuko shouted angrily, pulling his hood over his head again.

         Ama chuckled at him. "You're adorable." She mumbled, not realizing she said it out loud.

         "Thanks, you too." Zuko mumbled back. Both teens froze completely and Toph failed at hiding her giggle. No one spoke after that. But Ama's thoughts began to race.

         Did I hear that wrong? Are my feelings not as one sided as I thought? How do I respond to that? Damn it, where's Sokka's bad jokes when I need them?

.☽☼☾.

         Spoiler. The play was terrible. Ending with actress Aang's death and Fire Lord Ozai winning the war, everyone realized that the entire show was bad all around. Once the theatre lights came on, they walked back to the house glad it was over.

         "That... wasn't a good play." Zuko broke the silence. Everyone vocally agreed with him.

         "But the effects were decent." Was the only good comment coming from Sokka.

         Before they entered the house, Ama stopped and stepped aside so the others could enter. "I think I'm gonna go on a quick walk." The waterbender pointed towards the forest with her thumb.

         "Are you sure? It's kinda late." Katara said with a worried tone.

         "Yeah, I kinda need to clear my mind and forget that terrible play." She chuckled and rubbed the back of her neck.

         "Alright, stay safe." Katara shrugged and went inside.

         Zuko stayed back, watching Ama walk down the steps and heading to the thicket of trees. He considered walking with her. He also needed to clear his head. But also wanted to talk to the water tribe girl. He took a quick glance at the inside of the house, then Ama before running after her. "Hey! Wait up!"

         The brunette stopped walking and looked back at the boy running towards her. "Uh. Can I help you?" She wondered and he stood next to her.

         "I just thought, you might like some company." Zuko responded, nervously rubbing the back of his neck while they started walking down the path again.

         "It's not what I necessarily had in mind, but I'd like that." A light smile tugged on her lips as she looked at the floor anxiously.

         The walk was pretty quiet at first. Neither of the two knew what to say. Ama looked around. Her eye's had adjusted fine to the dark path and the moon lit everything also. So she could get a good look at the flora of Ember Island.

         "Look." The girl gasped excitedly, pointing at an area that strayed a few feet from the path. She jogged over to the patch of flowers that caught her eye and Zuko followed behind curiously. "Fire lilies." He watched as she admired the patch, her fingers delicately running across the petals. "They're so pretty."

         This is my chance. Zuko thought. Gathering up his courage and ignoring the teenage boy tendency of being awkward and silent, the boy took his shot. "Almost as pretty at you." Still, he could only muster a whisper. Ama watched as he took a seat next to her and reached to snap a flower off the stem and moved to place it behind the waterbender's ear, moving some of her hair to the side.

         "Thank you." She couldn't hide her blush or the smile. Her heart was racing. The girl wondered what she should do or say in response. After all, the only "experience" with boys she had was with Jet. But even then, it was more like they just talked and he turned out to be insane.

         Then a spark of confidence was lit inside her. The girl reached for another flower. Snapping it off the stem and placing it behind Zuko's ear, just as he did to her. "You look beautiful, Prince Zuko." She grinned while he just chuckled.

         "Look, Ama. I think it's time we talked about," Zuko started. His tone was a bit timid, which was pretty out of character for him. "Well, us."

         "What about us." Ama asked, a smirk playing on her lips.

         "Look, I always thought you were really pretty. Even during those months where I was chasing you all." He rubbed the back of his neck and looked at the flowers. "And during that time in the Ba Sing Se caves, you showed genuine kindness and actually cared about me. I realized that you're probably the prettiest girl I've even met."

         "Not even just that, but you're so strong and independent and smart." He started to ramble a bit and Ama chuckled. "And being with you all after leaving my father and the Fire Nation, you still believed in me. Even after all those horrible things I've done. I think... I think I really like you, Ama."

         "I think I really like you too." Ama responded, fiddling with her nails. "You're one of the bravest people I know. Leaving behind your entire life. Realizing and admitting your wrong doings. I admire you so much for that. Just getting to know you more made me like you more." Ama chuckled nervously. "Just seeing you gave me butterflies."

         "Is that why you always watched Aang and I practice?" Zuko lightly laughed.

         "Well it didn't help that you're attractive." Ama laughed back.

         "So you think I'm attractive." Zuko smirked.

         "Eh, only a little." Ama shrugged and giggled at his playful glare. Then it got quiet. But it wasn't an uncomfortable silence like earlier. It was more content and peaceful.

         "Can..." Zuko started to ask and Ama looked back at him after staring at the moon. "Can I kiss you?" Ama blushed, but nodded. Zuko leaned in most of the way until Ama leaded up as well. It was short and sweet. Barely lasting a second. Ama and Zuko stared into each other's eyes for a moment before leaning in again for another, still sweet but more wistful kiss.

         One of Ama's hands wound up in Zuko's dark hair and the other on his cheek. Zuko grabbed onto her waist, to pull her closer to him. Considering that the two were still sitting on the ground, the teens looked a little awkward. But the waterbender moved, not breaking the kiss to straddle him.

         Pulling away, the two smiled and stared at each other again. The girl's blue eyes seemed to sparkle in the moonlight as Zuko looked into them. Her blue eyes were like an ocean. And the prince didn't mind drowning in them. Meanwhile, Ama felt drawn to his fiery gold eyes. And she didn't mind being burned by them.

         "So, uh." Ama bit her bottom lip. Her hands moved from his hair down to his chest. "Does this mean we're together?"

         "You mean does this make me your boyfriend and you my girlfriend." Zuko clarified and Ama nodded. "I don't know if I see you that way." He said teasingly, earning a light punch on the arm. "I'm kidding. I'd like that. A lot."

         "Me too."

.☽☼☾.

Cool. I just posted the first chapter. My writing does better in first person so just hang in there. Or if you want to wait for chapter eight where there is a plot and better writing (in my opinion) that would be fine. I don’t believe you’d miss much. This is mainly to set a baseline for Ama’s placement in the Avatar Universe. 

I hope you all enjoy. Hang loose, amigos! 🤙🏼

[rateelism]

JuTsuzuBan Historical-ish + Arranged Marriage AU

literally don’t open the cut unless you’re ready for an avalanche lmao. It’s just a lot of hot garbage word-vomit (this is so dramatic, it’s like a soap opera lmao)

this is sincerely very long. you’ve been warned

The arranged marriage aspect is between Tsuzuru and Banri, sons of the aristocratic Minagi and Settsu families, respectively. Since they're close in age and both from well off families, it's only natural for them to join houses, right? The Minagis don't have a connection with the very affluent Settsus, and the Settsus would like to tap into the Minagis' very versatile connections. Tsuzuru is quite devastated about the arranged marriage, because as a boy who loves to read and has read many a romance book, he's been looking forward to like. building up his own relationship with someone. He thought he wouldn't have to get into an arranged marriage since he has so many brothers, he could've been overlooked, but alas. Banri on the other hand is quite alright with the arrangement. His family expects him to get along well with a Minagi son so they can marry? Sure, whatever, he'll do it.

Anyway long story short from ages 8/7 to 17/16, Tsuzuru and Banri grow up together and around each other. Tsuzuru's longing for a quiet connection outside the rowdy household he's in, and Banri's not-so-subtly trying to woo Tsuzuru into at least giving him a smile every day. Smiles mean people like you, right? Getting along like the adults have asked you to?

(Banri kinda does like Tsuzuru atm, but at this stage they're both acting out of obligation) Just a week before his 18th birthday, Tsuzuru decides to run away to the countryside. Packs some bags, writes some farewell letters to his family, and disappears with the help of two stable boys, one who couldn't care less about one of his masters and another who wishes him well (you can probably guess who these are lmao). This is where Juza comes in! Tsuzuru settles into a small town many miles south of the capital where he used to live, and here he starts his dreamed life of just. being one with the people. Since the best stories come from those of real life.

He takes up some odd jobs here and there for money, but mostly stays to himself writing and/or reading. One day he's helping the postman deliver letters and runs into Juza! Someone near Tsuzuru's age.

They start to talk to each other and generally become aware of the other’s presence at all times. It soon spirals into something that’s not quite a friendship, but not quite a romance, either. It’s an odd relationship but one not unwelcome.

At this point it's been more than a year since Tsuzuru's been missing, and Banri's been all "what the fuck happened to my fiancé?" So obviously after a whole year of waiting he sets off to find Tsuzuru.

...And he does. Smiling and laughing with another man. At this stage, Banri still doesn’t know he loves Tsuzuru, but he does know that seeing his fiancé being happy with someone else doesn’t make him happy.

JuBan rivalry!!! 

Banri tips his chin to -- futilely -- stare down the other man. “Mr. Hyodo, was it? I’m Banri Settsu, a long-time...friend of Tsuzuru.”

“Mr. Settsu,” Juza grunts. He turns to Tsuzuru, and his lips curve into a small smile. “I gotta go now, but I’ll be back later.” Tsuzuru raises a hand to wave him off, but Juza merely catches it and kisses the back of it before leaving. He doesn’t look back at Banri, who glowers at him with a sour expression.

Tsuzuru begs Banri to not reveal his location to their families because he still has so many things he wants to do in the country. Banri reluctantly agrees under the condition he can stay with Tsuzuru, to which the latter agrees to.

Kumon is Juza’s sickly younger brother and has to be taken care of constantly. At one point -- fed up with Juza and his constant presence, Banri threatens to bring harm to Kumon. This leads to Juza stop coming to Tsuzuru’s place and avoiding him in town. This of course hurts Tsuzuru and Banri is more than happy to console him, even if it’s a little harsh.

Of course Tsuzuru ends up finding out that Banri was the one to drive Juza away, leading to an argument. Tsuzuru locks himself away into his room, leaving Banri to plead and try to defend himself outside the door but it doesn’t work. 

Later that night, after Banri tires himself out from all the yelling and talking and goes to bed, Tsuzuru sneaks out to go over to Juza’s place, where they reunite.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you. I didn’t want to risk hurting Kumon.”

“It’s okay, I understand. I know how it is to hide things. You just wanted to protect something you love.”

After lots of talking, I reckon here’s the place where JuTsuzu shares their first kiss together. Tsuzuru stays the night, much to the surprise of both Kumon and Banri -- for different reasons -- when they find out the next morning.

[Kumon voice] Are you and Brother dating?  >> embarrassment ensues 

Anyway they *do* start a relationship, much to Banri’s anger. 

“Why are you starting a relationship with that country scum!? You’re engaged to me, remember!?”

“Listen, I-- Can’t we just marry without getting into a relationship? We can do that, right?”

“You’re not even going to consider *my* feelings!?”

Which. That presents a whole new set of problems. Tsuzuru didn’t expect Banri to actually harbor feelings for him, much less Banri himself. Banri excuses himself and leaves the next morning without a word. 

This leaves Tsuzuru distraught. He hasn’t considered his own thoughts about Banri at all till this point. The only reason he tolerated Banri barging into his new life in the country was...was why? A fondness? A fondness similar to that he holds for his brothers? No, it doesn’t feel right. Tsuzuru hasn’t seen Banri in a year and suddenly he saw him every day for a couple months. Sure, they weren’t close to each other or anything, even though they were around each other a lot of the time when they were younger, but still. They didn’t know anything beyond the surface of each other until these past couple months, where Tsuzuru learnt Banri’s preference for bitter coffee and Banri learning that Tsuzuru was not an early riser if he didn’t have anything to do that morning.

Being with Juza helps him, as their relationship gives Tsuzuru something to focus on, having to navigate how a couple is supposed to work. 

One day, a week or so after Banri’s departure, Juza asks where the other man left to, and absentmindedly does Tsuzuru “the capitol.” This leads to Tsuzuru confessing he’s a noble/aristocrat. Juza is obviously quite taken aback and asks if Tsuzuru is hiding anything else. This question, of course, makes Tsuzuru’s skin turn cold and his hands clammy.

“Banri...He’s...He’s my fiancé.”

“I see.”

This doesn’t quite lead into an *argument* per say, but Juza does excuse himself to go home and take care of Kumon. Tsuzuru is left feeling very alone for the first time in his life, and his books provide no solace.

SHOULD MENTION KUMON DOES *NOT* GET HURT/USED AS A PLOT DEVICE...maybe. as of now though? no. he’s baby and will be protected

  • ✎ • • • • • • ✎ • • • • • • ✎ • • • • • • ✎ • • • • • • ✎ • • • • • • ✎ •

I don’t know where to go with this lmao maybe I’ll update this post in an rb BUT they do eventually all get together AND the arranged marriage goes thru as planned...I will now sit on this au for the foreseeable future, have a good day :]

[amostimprobabledream]

My thoughts on Peaky Blinders...

Now I’ve finished Season Five, I wanted to get out my thoughts/ideas/opinions regarding the show. So strap in! - So first of all, the fucking cinematopgraphy in this series is gorgeous. You could take almost any scene and it looks like a painting. The lighting, the way it’s staged, it’s all just so visually pleasing to look at. My inner film student was just sighing dreamily at the shot composition. There’s a shot of John, Arthur and Tommy walking somewhere and you could fucking frame it and put it in your wall. - CILLIAN MURPHY, CILLIAN MURPHY, CILLIAN MURPHY. I mean, I always knew he was a good actor and also a pretty one, I think the role I remember him best in is Batman Begins, but holy shit, I never realised how hot he is until like two months ago. I know he apparently hates his Tommy haircut, but good lord, he can pull it off. The cheekbones! The eyes! The eyelashes! The sexy voice! Needless to say I saw him and immediately developed the biggest fucking crush. Apparently when I talk about Tommy to people my face goes pink. Thank you so much, show, for enlightening me to this human. Tommy is such a fantastic character, and I do wonder if another actor could pull him off quite as well. So much debate over his actions, motives, mindset, etc. I could probably write essays about the complexities of Tommy, but I won’t because this is a long-ass post anyway. He’s such a boss and I would die for him. - I actually really like Arthur??? So the very first clip of PB I ever saw was accidental, when I happened to turn the TV on and the Blinders were taking over the Eden Club and Arthur was glassing a guy in the face. I thought, “Oh, he’s probably like the dangerous thug character everyone is scared of.” (I didn’t know he’s Tommy’s brother at the time.) But actually he’s kind of endearing despite being the Shelby’s pitbull? Idk, the concept of the “failure” elder brother, how Arthur is the character the verbalises PTSD the most out of everyone, how one minute he can be lashing out like a rabid bear and then sobbing like a kid the next... I’m always like, “Oh, Arthur,” because you can see he wants to be a better person, but he just...doesn’t know how. - JOOOHN. I miss him! And it’s weird because in the early parts of the Season John doesn’t DO much but tag around after Tommy and Arthur, but his marriage to Esme is actually So Good and again, he’s actually kind of a softboi under the hard gangster act. (Also his “Do THIS, John, Do THAT, John, KILL YOUR FOOKIN’ TEACHER, JOHN!” is so fucking good.) He kind of provides a lightness when contrasted to Tommy and Arthur that I really do miss, because the last two Seasons have been very grim and I think John’s absence has something to do with it. I liked Esme too, even if she’s a stroppy bitch, her love for John but resentment of her role in the family and also she’s HELLA PRETTY. I’m sad her character has gone for now, but at least she wasn’t killed off. - I also love Ada a lot - I was really shocked when I read that Sophie Rundle hasn’t been acting all that long before she got the part in PB, because honestly she’s very good! And her concept again is a fun one - the only girl in a family of violent gangster boys. (Or as Freddy puts it, “The only princess”, which she is.) Having said that, I’m not sure how I feel about Ada’s character arc over the course of the season. In One she came off as kind of childish and still sort of stuck in her Rebellious Teen phase, then she became a mother and Freddie died, then in Season Two she’s trying to distance herself from the family and go legit, then in Season Four and Five she’s helping run the business and taking money from Tommy. Idk, I wish she’d play a more major role like her brothers because her motivations seem to change based on what the screenwriter wants, not what feels natural for her. Plus it annoys me that Ada blamed Ben Younger’s death on Tommy, but Tommy gets a lot of blame for things that aren’t his fault so I guess he’s used to it. Still, Ada is still a lot of fun when she does get to play a big role and gets some great lines later on. “Tommy Shelby is going to stop a revolution with his cock.” - POLLY, MY QUEEN! Easily the best woman on the show (sorry, Ada) and such a fucking badass. She’s definitely the voice of reason within the family and conflicting loyalty is a really interesting theme that gets explored with her, between her arguing nephews and niece, between her family or whether she wants to marry again and leave, her relationship with Michael, it’s all so great. Helen McRory is such a brilliant addition to the show. Also I love that Polly kinda represents women taking over after all the men went away to war and now they’re back, but the women aren’t just going to creep back into the house - World War One changed the workplace forever for women and I think Polly being the second in command after Tommy reflects that really well. - I think overall my favourite seasons have been Seasons One, Two and Four, I tend to find I get a bit bored in Peaky Blinders whenever it gets especially heavy on politics like in Season Three and Five and I admittedly kind of miss the simplicity of the early days of the show when it was about horse-racing, but the Changretta vs Shelby feud was genuinely really gripping and Adrien Brody was also Very Good. (I mean, I couldn’t take him seriously because of Brodyquest, but I like him a lot.) - I HATE GRACE. There, I said it. And honestly I have SO MUCH to say on why I hate her and also why I think she is the epitome of bad writing that has happened on this show that I might as well save it for a whole nother post, but Tommy and Grace’s relationship always felt so unnatural and forced to me, like they are in love because the screenwriter said so - Grace is the only woman Tommy knows who isn’t related to him and also because it pisses off Campbell. Like, she was tolerable if highly irritating in Season One, but then Two came along and she just got worse and worse. She’s annoyingly convinced she’s better than everyone else, pulls off a LOT of questionable shit that NO-ONE except Polly ever pulls her up on and Tommy repeatedly pining over a woman who lied to him and betrayed him makes no goddamn sense. I wish Stephen Knight would just let him get over her, because her showing up over and over again in the show after the bitch died two Seasons ago is so infuriating I want to throw my remote at the TV. The best bit of Season Three was someone finally putting a bullet in her, honestly. /rant - On that note, I really wish that they’d use May properly. She was introduced in Season Two and honestly her chemistry with Tommy is about a thousand times more believable than anything he had with Guuuhrayce and also May doesn’t consistently talk in that annoying, breathy voice and also she doesn’t shamelessly manipulate Tommy constantly. It’s too bad Stephen Knight couldn’t get Charlotte Riley back for Season Three owing to her pregnancy, because I think the trajectory of the show would have been very different. But her scene where she spoke about her husband and tried to hide that she was crying? So good. The fucking Face Tommy gives her when she asks for a mixer in her gin? Priceless. Agh - May’s been chronically underused in the show but she keeps getting mentioned every now and then, so I’m hoping there are plans for her to come back in Season Six. I really like her and I honestly think Tommy/May has been the best relationship he’s had, because it’s the only one that’s felt A) Natural and B) Equal. - Lizzie Stark. Okay, so I have mixed feelings about Lizzie. I liked her in Seasons One and Two, because she was this down-on-her-luck woman who was treated like crap by everyone, but she wasn’t wholly without her own flaws or personality - she did lie to John and Tommy did act in his brother’s best interests to tell him the truth. The scenes she had with Tommy in Season Two when he promotes her to his secretary were honestly very cute and my heart broke for her when that solider nearly (?) raped her in Season Two and she cried in John’s arms. But over time she’s started to irritate me. I know that people feel bad for her because Tommy honestly does treat her badly at times, though other times she’s also one of the few people he’s nice to, their relationship is complicated. But truthfully I don’t see Tommy/Lizzie every working out properly because Lizzie was a whore. She’s always been Tommy’s inferior and while I do think he cares for her, she never seems to think it’s enough. He doesn’t love her enough and she’s never satisfied with it and she’s always resentful of him. But you can’t FORCE someone to love you and it’s interesting that the minute she learned she was pregnant, you could see her thinking of how to make this work. She pulled the Baby Trap on him just like Grace did and got married like she wanted, but Tommy still doesn’t truly see her as his equal. And honestly, I don’t think she’s smart enough for him. Add that to Lizzie being EXTREMELY petty to other women (including her being really rude to May and slut-shaming her - bit rich from you, isn’t it, Lizzie?), and I don’t think they have a healthy relationship. I do like little Ruby a lot (way more than Charles, who is a spoiled brat because he’s Grace’s son and has a martyred dead mummy), but honestly I don’t see Tommy/Lizzie working out. I just hope that she doesn’t leave and take Ruby, I think it’d break Tommy to have his daughter taken away from him. - Alfie Solomons. So...I have to confess I have mixed feelings about Alfie. I liked him in Season Two because he’s batshit crazy, Tom Hardy is clearly having the time of his life and it’s refreshing to have a rival to Tommy who isn’t cartoonishly evil like Billy Kimber or Sabini. He ties into Season Two very well and yeah, I can see why he’s so popular. Also he’s pretty attractive, so that always helps. But. Alfie is starting to come across a bit like a creator’s pet to me. He consistently betrays Tommy every goddamn Season and while I know the fandom love to joke about this, it’s pretty inexplicable that Tommy would bother to continue to do business with him after being burned so many times and now it turns out he’s alive. Why? Why bring Alfie back? I feel like he was brought back because he’s a fan favourite and to add another suspect to who betrayed Tommy. I don’t hate Alfie at all, but I am starting to wish he’d face actual consequences for his actions, considering every Peaky Blinders character who fucks with the Peaky Blinders tend to suffer horribly for it, but not Alfie...for some reason. - Michael. Okay so Michael’s actor is pretty damn good and I thought it was cute that he and John’s actors are actually brother irl - you can see the resemblance. And honestly bringing back Polly’s missing kids was a really clever idea because there’s a family tie, but one that isn’t so strong you can always be sure of where his loyalties lie. His subplot with Father Hughes in Season Three was both very sad and very well done - I was cheering him on the whole way. But Season Five has made my opinion of Michael take a dramatic nosedive. He’s gone from sorta-sympathetic to an entitled brat almost overnight. I get he’s probably salty about being banished to America by Tommy in Season Four, but where has this sudden desire to rule the company come from? How did he meet Gina? Is he lying about Gina being pregnant because he figured it’d win him sympathy? I don’t know. He’s changed so drastically, and when Polly gave him that slap, I think she was doing what everyone wanted to. It’s too bad they just wrote Anna off as being dead, though, Michael having a sister and Polly a daughter would have been interesting. - The music?? Is so good?? I love it! Especially the themesong, obviously, but so much of it is always ON POINT. It makes me wanna buy the entire soundtrack. - Unpopular opinion, but I think Campbell was the best antagonist of the show, mainly because he was a vile person but still believable and had the best dynamic with Tommy.  - Season Five was honestly kind of hit-and-miss for me, it seemed like a lot of people are pissed at Tommy for fairly silly reasons in the beginning and I just didn’t find the political subplot all that interesting...but I still will definitely tune into Season Six. (Also these are all just opinions, so please don’t send me hate if you don’t like something I’ve said. Ain’t nobody got time for that.)

[nemobookaholic]

What if ...

Loki where a 21st century woman?

Part 2

Scene 8

Back at home, we enter a room where Kevin and Loki are sitting face to face. As Kevin had said, an hour a day - now we know he meant it. Yet, just because he looks like an Irish leprechaun, it doesn’t mean he has the same wit. Indeed we can assume that he has inherited more but the ginger hair. Loki seems like she’d figured it out already, according to her staring. It’s like the game we all played as kids. A staring contest, losers gonna look away first. Both of them want to be at the winning side. We start to wonder what kind of therapeutic use this game shall have, as Kevin breaks the silence, not looking away of course.

‘You really think that you are Loki of Asgard?’

‘I do not think so. I know who I am!’

Not the best opening line for a therapist. Here we see the trainee.

‘Good… had you ever the desire to — well, use the boy’s bathroom, or play with cars instead of dolls?’

We move our angle, so we can see what Kevin writes down on his notepad.

‘Seriously? That is what you want to know? — To be honest I was thought to play with knives and illusions, as well as with my brothers foolishness. Trust me, gender never was a big deal for me. I can be whatever I want to,’ Lokis boasts.

° narcissism

° dissociative identity disorder

° a lot of anger/rage

Is what we can read by now. Dr. Freud might had added hysteria.

‘Tell me about your brother,’ is Kevins next question.

‘I would not know why,’ Loki appeals stubborn.

‘We have a deal, remember?’

‘I don’t see any sense in it, as you obviously don’t believe me, but here you go. Thor, god of thunder. Not the brightest glowing candle. Likes his hammer… a lot. Future king of Asgard, if you’d ask him. Has a soft spot for Midgard. I came here to say hello,’ she’s checking on her fingernails while speaking.

‘To me it sounds like there is a rivalry between you and your brother?’ for a second we catch discomfort in Lokis eyes.

‘He’s not my real brother. It’s not that long ago when I was told, I am adopted.’

‘Who told you so?’

‘My fa…, Odin. He promised me a throne! Just to tell me, that I was nothing more than a hostage.’

°daddy issues

Kevins pen is wandering on the paper.

‘Tell me about your mum.’

‘She’s kind an loving. I’m afraid, I might never see her again, only in my dreams.’

‘Why do you think so?’

‘Never mind! There is witchcraft, even in dreams. You would not understand. — By the way, how come this reality is blocking out almost every magic?’ Loki’s time for questions.

‘Honestly? As you really seem to believe it, I have some bad news for you: There is no magic, and no gods or stuff like that. Most of us, including me, don’t believe in sorcery or different realms. I’m sorry to disappoint you.’

We don’t fail to notice how Kevin is struggling, to take the topic serious. Meanwhile Loki has an enlightening moment.

‘That must be part of the problem! People don’t believe…,’ she mumbles to herself. Aloud she says, ‘tell me about your world, please. I know a bit from Barton but me seems this one is unlike his. What is the history of this country for instance?’ Lokis eyes are glowing.

‘Are you kidding me? — You don’t know?’ Kevin looks puzzled.

‘Would I ask otherwise?’ annoyance is speaking out of her voice.

Kevin starts a lesson in english history. Loki is rather interested in the war of the roses and the Tudor King. We start to get a bad feeling, that this might won’t end well; with her question, ‘you are saying, England has never grown out of monarchy and is ruled by a Queen until today?!’

‘Yes and a King, - people always seem to forget about him, poor guy,’ Kevin sights.

‘Tell me everything about them!’ there is a lot of motivation in Loki’s behaviour now.

‘I think that’s enough for today. I’m not that interested into royal gossip, - if you want to know more, you can look it up on the internet, or go to the library,’ he sounds tired.

We suspect that this session didn’t proceed as planed. He has our empathy, cause he doesn’t know who he’s dealing with. Or at least he doesn’t believe it. Not all of us would, but we have the benefit of knowing Loki, and we are just observer. We should feel sorry for Kevin, as he doesn’t realise what Loki’s mind is wandering of to. We remember well, how much Loki desires a throne. Not that she didn’t mention it while talking about Odin.

‘The leprechaun showed me how to use this thing called internet. I’m impressed! I had known that it could be a useful weapon, yet I had no clue how much. It’s like an addiction, all those informations. Makes it a pushover to take over this kingdom! Ehehehehe. I read on, a plan is growing, I like how it sparkles. The discovery of the actual age, of the monarchs, makes it even better. Their son isn’t that much younger. To my satisfaction, there are two princes next in row, to follow the crown. Not the baddest idea to become a woman. Nothing is going to stop me!

‘Helloho! I’m talking to you, freak. Stop that creepy laughing and help me to cook dinner, would you?! If you want to share our home, you can do something for it. Maybe Kevin is alright with you behaving like the Queen of England, well I’ll tell you something, I ain’t!’ the warrior has her hands pressed to her hips and usually I wouldn’t give much about her complaining, but for the sake of learning from them, I follow her into the kitchen.’

Scene 9

Picturing Loki and Beatrix in the kitchen, we feel a little smile stealing onto our faces. The idea, of Loki doing the cooking, is hilarious. Beatrix commanding her, comes close to a catastrophe and is a test for Loki’s self-control.

Let’s get a bit closer and listen to their conversation, shall we?

‘Did you never cut a tomato?’ we hear Bea.

‘Not with a dull knife. If you would have let me use my dagger, I would have been faster!’ Loki mutters.

‘Yeah, as if this dirty piece, wherever you hide it, was made to cut vegetables with. I don’t like to imagine your family dinners,’ Bea folds her arms, waiting for Loki to get the veggies ready.

‘Sure, the are awkward. I have to approve, you are right. The dagger was made to cut into meat,’ Loki let the knife run through her fingers, staring at Bea in disgust.

‘Sorry to disappoint you missy, but one of our rules is: No meat for dinner, nor in this kitchen. I am vegan and no dead animals will cross our door!’ Bea turns around to light the gas of the stove.

‘Who said I was talking about animals?!’ Loki mutters to herself.

‘What?’ Bea turns around with a pan in her hand, pointing it at the other girl.

‘Nothing. I’m done with the vegetables, what’s next?’ Loki grins, swirling the knife again.

‘Would you please stop?!’ she points a finger at Lokis hand, ‘it’s a bit dangerous, don’t you think?’

‘What, the knife?’ she looks at it impenitently, ‘not really, unless I decide it should.’ Loki grins again. Annoying Bea, gives her satisfaction.

The girl, almost done with her nerves by now, tries to take away the sharp object from her reckless flatmate. Unfortunately, Loki is a lot taller and has enough strength back, to use her magic pockets. What makes the knife disappear every time Bea comes close.

‘What are you, David Copperfield for the poor? Hand me the bloody knife, or I swear I’ll…,’ she doesn’t come any further as Kevin enters the room, in the exact moment things almost escalated.

‘I see you start to get along a bit better?’ he smiles naively. We start to wonder how he will ever be a psychologist? Maybe he just picked the wrong job?

From Lokis face we capture a innocent, but satisfied look into Kevins direction, as Beatrix let go of her to roast the vegetables.

‘Veggies again, … what are you cooking love?’ Kevin steps closer to see what is in the pan.

‘Rice with tomato, carrots and peas,’ Bea lists the ingredients.

‘Delicious, can’t wait for it,’ he rolls his eyes behind her back, ‘I’ll cook something proper when she has her night out,’ he whispers into Lokis ear, while handing her a towel. For a second she stands there holding it, not sure what Kevin wants. Soon enough she figures, he wants to do the dishes while Bea is busy at the stove. We might make a guess, that Kevin is frightened of his friend, when she’s in such a mood. Or maybe we have to admit, that he is more cunning than anyone could tell.

‘The food that the warrior princess has cooked, isn’t as bad as I’d expected. Not that I would tell her. She’s a ghastly person. I’ll have to tolerate it, until I’ve found a way into Buckingham palace. For now I can have my fun with both of them. Nonetheless I’ll have to keep an eye on Kevin. He hasn’t shown all his cards yet, I can sense it. Plus I’m unsure if I can trust him.

Anyway, it’s exhausting with them.

Maybe it’s because I haven’t had enough rest, but I’m dead tired. All I want to do, is to lie down and think of a plan, to infiltrate the royal family. To my disappointment, we have to do the dishes — again! For the warrior has done the cooking. Not enough that she forced me to help her with it.

‘Are we done now? I’m tired,’ I tell the leprechaun after the last, clean fork.

‘Sure, but don’t you want to join us? We have our movie night. Could be a good chance to get to know each other better,’ he shows me those puppy eyes. Something in them beg me to join, I can’t help myself.

‘Fine. If it’s that important to you,’ I sigh.

Plans can wait until tomorrow, I guess. Let’s see what kind of pleasures a movie night might bring.

‘Yay! I’ll make popcorn and get everything ready. Do you want to take a shower in the meantime?’

That’s a good idea. It has been a long time since water has seen my body. A short sniff approves my misgiving. I smell.

The ginger almost pushes me into the bathroom, while explaining everything. He hands me fresh clothes and faster than I can soak in all informations, he has left. I’m alone in the middle of the tiny room. The only space, to place my wardrobe, is the toilet seat or optional, the ground. I have to make a sacrifice, fresh clothes onto the toilet, the stuff I’m wearing onto the ground. I can’t wait to feel the water refreshing me. The only thing that keeps me away from it, is the bloody bra! What kind of sadistic person has invented this fastener?

Probably one of the torturers from Hel.

The quiet ‘plop’ as it opens, couldn’t be more satisfying. I almost jump into the shower and turn the water on. A mistake as it turns out. The water is cooking. It burns my freed breasts.

Who the fuck takes a shower this hot?!

The water becomes a moderate temperature, as I soap myself with a strange smelling piece, I’ve found on the tray in the corner.

Afterwards my hair is nearly impossible to comb — should I have used those bottles instead? Probably would have thought about it, if I had not been that distracted by my new body.

Anyway, time to get dressed and see what kind of night lies ahead.

I stop after entering the living room, not sure what is expected of me.

The two mortals are sitting on a sofa, cuddling.

‘Ah, there you are. Come, sit! We have waited for you,’ Kevin says.

‘Like forever. What have you done in there?’ the warrior is still grumpy, but not as much as during dinner.

I take the offered seat, on the edge of the sofa, cause the leprechaun is looking at me in expectancy, ignoring the comment of the veggie queen.

‘Come a little closer, or do you want to fall over? Allow yourself some comfort,’ he hands me a bowl with ‘Popcorn’ as he calls it, and I’m surprised by it’s buttery, salty taste. I like it!

I almost start to get comfortable but the strange behaviour of my seat mate destroys that feeling. Why is he sniffing at me?

My gaze must have made him aware of his doing. He stops, turning red.

‘I’m sorry! It’s just… which bottle of shampoo did you use?’ he wants to know.

‘None of them. Didn’t trust their substances. I’m all for the old-fashioned way in showering! I took the soap.’

The burst out of laughter from the girl disturb me, ‘what have I done wrong?’

‘Oh well — that was Hina’s special soap, against rash. We try to avoid it, because of this strong smell of marigold -‘

‘Now you smell like a granny!’ Bea’s giggles interrupt Kevin.

‘- you must know, sometimes it makes your skin burn or become itchy, if you use it without the need to ease your rash,’ he adds.

‘Great! Thanks for the warning.’ I almost yell at him.

‘Calm down. Here, have a nice glass of wine and a blanked, you must be cold.’

I suppose he never heard of Frostgiants, anyway, I take the blanked and if it’s only to cover this ugly thing that doesn‘t deserve the name pyjamas. A big sip of wine, helps me over the fact that the warrior is still laughing. I swear by Odin, I’m going to cut her throat , in her sleep, if she doesn’t stop soon.

‘ ‘kay ladies, enough silliness for now. Let’s get to the movie. Are you ready?’ Kevin asks, while he presses a button on the remote control.

The movie starts while Kevin explains to me that it is called ‘Star Wars’. After a few minutes I lose interest in it. This species has no clue what is going on in the universe. Not to mention the horrible special effects and this stupid emperor in a mask, calling himself Vader … they should meet Thanos!

At some point I decide to enjoy the food and the wine to let my thoughts wander. To correct the movie was fun, until they got angry with me because of the steady interruptions.

All those delicious details I’ve learned today!

The grandson of the Queen, Edmund, has been in the newspapers a lot, for his excessive party live. Would be stupid if I didn’t use it to make my way into the palace. The only problem will be my lack of patience. Every detail has to be perfect, so this croutons won’t realise how I infiltrate them. Maybe I should have ‘sight-seeing’ around Buckingham Palace tomorrow… ?’

As always, I’m happy about constructive feedback. Tell me what you think about it, if you’ve read until the end. And I’m sorry for the pic,.. next time I’ll draw a better one 🙈 it’s not that easy to transform him,...

[stusbunker]

Dr. Emery Simmons-Winchester

Hey guys! An ask post got me thinking about my girl Emery from my Sam series For Better or Worst.

So I decided to fill out the questions about her, in case you’re interested since a lot of her background has been kept as only small glimpses due to the plot so far. Here are those questions from the ASK POST. (Since I know no one would actually send me asks, especially about OCs.)

Basics:

1. What is their gender?

Female

2. What is their sexuality?

Heterosexual

3. What is the meaning behind their name? Do they have any nicknames?

Meaning: Derived from Emmerich, which can mean brave and powerful. Also a hard, dark substance (i.e. emery boards)

Sam calls her ‘Em’ and ‘Baby’

Georgie used to call her Mama E

4. Do they have any siblings? How many? Are they older or younger?  Which sibling are they the closest with?

She has an older half brother that she isn’t close with, but that’s just because he lived across the country from her and her son.

5. What’s their relationship with their parents like? What about other relatives?

Emery loved her parents to the ends of the earth. Though her dad wasn’t always around, his parents helped raise her. She was by her mother’s side when she died from cancer.

6. What would they give their life for?

Georgie. And redemption. Though there are others that she cares for and her dedication to them will be tested deeply soon.

7. Are they in a romantic relationship? With who? How did they meet?

Is an arranged marriage romantic? I guess it depends on who you ask. She is currently married to Sam Winchester. They met via some shady dealings from one Naomi, Angel of the Lord.

8. What do they believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Can I laugh at how deep we are getting in the “Basics” section of this?! Like, damn and then the next question is like a Teen Bop quiz.

Emery believes in Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory. She grew as a psychic, knowing the world as it exists on the show. She still believes the angels are on humanity’s side and are her path to forgiveness, if not salvation.

9. What is their favorite color? Favorite animal?

Emery likes rich earth tones with some gold in for accents. She looks good in just about anything though.

10. What are some of their talents/skills?

She is a medieval history professor, and an outstanding lecturer. She reads people really well, even after losing her psychic powers. She has a decent singing voice. Is an amazing mom. And when she makes up her mind to do something, she follows through. Very hard to change her mind or challenge her moral compass.

11. If they could make a mark on history, what would they like it to be?

Just that the world was better, in any small way, from her influence.

12. How old are they? When is their birthday?

She is 39, born January 16, 1981.

13. What do they do for fun?

Read. Play with her dog Bandit. Go for walks. Listen to music. She used to mess with people who didn’t know she was psychic, but nothing malicious just little things that would stump strangers. She also used to play video games with Georgie.

14. What is their favorite food? How often do they get to eat it?

Potatoes in all of their glorious forms. She also love Cajun cuisine. She isn’t much of a cook, because she never had time to go all out. But french fries are easy enough to come by!

15. What was something their parents taught them?

That no matter who you are, you have a place in this world and a job to do.

Family always comes first.

16. Are they religious?

Yes, but most of the strict devotion rose from the death of her son.

17. Where were they born?

Gary, Indiana

18. What languages can they speak? Where did they learn these languages?

Different dialects of American English. She can read Old English and Middle English from her years of study.

Latin, from high school and some college.

19. What is their occupation?

Currently a professor, formerly a part-time psychic.

20. Do they have any titles? How did they earn them?

She has a PHD in History and a Masters in Education. Dr. Simmons-Winchester if you’d like. ;)

Personality:

21. What is their favorite thing about their personality?

She appreciates her own snark, when it comes out.

22. What is their least favorite thing about their personality?

Her psychic upbringing game her a lot of empathy for others. She hates how weak that makes her seem.

23. Do they get lonely easily?

No, she keeps too busy to feel lonely. Her son was always enough for her... until she found Sam.

24. Do you know their MBTI type?

No because those tests are way too fucking long.

25. What is their biggest flaw?

Self-assigned guilt.

26. Are they aware of their flaws?

Not all of them, who is?

27. What is their biggest strength?

Her dedication.

28. Are they aware of their strengths?

Yes, she isn’t one to sell herself short.

29. How would they describe their own personality?

She would say she is smart, kind and generally tough.

30. When frightened, will they resort to “fight” or “flight”?

She isn’t one for physical violence, but she will stand up vocally. She has had to defend herself physically in the past and that cost her her son.

31. Does this character ever put somebody else’s needs before their own? Who do they do this for? How often do they do this?

Constantly, in the past it was mostly her son, but now also her husband.

32. What is their self esteem like?

Good. She owns her strengths and is aware of her shortcomings. Though she is slightly shaken from a recent rejection, but she knows better than to get too attached when there are other factors in play.

33. What is their biggest fear? How would they react to having to face it?

Failure to protect her son. She would go to the ends of possibility to save him.

34. How easily do they trust others with their secrets? With their lives?

It took almost five months of an arranged marriage for her to tell Sam about her son, his death and her side of their deal with Heaven. Though she trusts Sam, she didn’t reveal much about her past.

We’re going to have to wait and see if she can trust Sam or Cas with her life.

35. What is the easiest way to annoy them?

Talk cruelly about other people on end. Chew with your mouth open.

36. What is their sense of humor like? Give an example of a joke they would find humorous.

She has a pretty decent sense of humor. Not too dark, but definitely has a sarcastic streak. I think she would love memes, especially living with a preteen gamer, she would have seen her share. But she’s still a dorky mom, so she only shares the obvious ones with her TAs.

37. How easy is it for them to say “I love you”? Do they say it without meaning it?

Fairly easy, especially with family. Never.

38. What do others admire most about their personality?

Her strength of character and her determination to DO GOOD.

39. What does their happily ever after look like?

She hasn’t really thought about it beyond the task at hand. Keeping up her charade with Sam in order to save Georgie’s soul and Dean. They have quiet the dream life from the outside: great jobs, nice house in a good neighborhood. But none of that can last, not for them. Right?

40. Who do they trust most? Is that trust mutual?

Her mother, but she passed about two years ago. Yes.

Physical Profile:

41. What does their laugh sound like? Do they snort when they laugh? How often do they laugh?

Her voice is smoky, much like her faceclaim Rashida Jones. Her laugh can get breathy or silent if it is a really deep one. She laughs in little spells, but nothing like she used to.

42. What is their favorite thing about their physical appearance?

Her sparkling hazel eyes.

43. What is their least favorite thing about their physical appearance?

She thinks she has a big nose. But her complex is so good, she doesn’t dwell.

44. Do they have any scars? If so, what are the stories behind those scars?

Yes, she had a total hysterectomy after her mother died so she has laparoscopic scaring. She also has stretch marks from pregnancy. The biggest scars are on her left upper arm, where her son scratched her when he first shifted into a werewolf.

45. How would they describe their own appearance?

Just a 30-someting mixed girl rocking what she’s got.

46. How easily can they express emotions? How easily can they hide emotions?

She is tempered first and foremost. Being vulnerable is not something she does regularly, but she doesn’t hide the big things. They’re too much for a reason.

47.    What’s their pain tolerance like? 

She is a women of color and a single mother, her pain tolerance is insanely high because people don’t listen anyway. (yes, that’s shade)

48. Do they have any tattoos? What are the stories behind those tattoos?

She doesn’t. (Desperately trying to remember if she does now... oops?)

49. Do they have any piercings?

Just a single on both ears.

51. What is their height? Weight?

5′4″ 130lbs ish

52. What is their body type? Are they muscular, chubby, skinny, etc?

She thin, not overly fit.

53. What is their hair color? Eye color? Skin tone?

Dark brown/ Hazel/ Dark Beige

55. What is their alcohol tolerance like? What kind of drunk are they? How bad are their hangovers?

She has a fairly low tolerance for alcohol, but that’s generally because she doesn’t drink often. When she gets wine drunk she gets affectionate. The few times she has been hungover have been exhausting because she doesn’t give her self time to recover.

56. What do they smell like? Why do they smell like this? (Is it the things they’re around or a perfume they wear?)

Her natural scent is warm spices, with almost a vanilla finish. She has a jasmine perfume that makes her slightly more feminine and floral.

57. How do they feel about sex? Are they a virgin?

She hasn’t had an active sex life until she married Sam. Before that it had been a few years. No, she isn’t a virgin and this is a dumb question because it is an outdated misogynistic construct.

58. What is their most noticeable physical attribute?

Her big, bright, multicolored eyes. Then her smile.

59. What does their resting face look like? Do they have RBF?

Not exactly resting, but you get the point. Yes.

60. Describe the way they sleep.

She sleeps curled on her side, in the middle of the bed. If Sam’s already up, she is stealing his pillow to cuddle. If Sam is sleeping elsewhere, she stays to her side.

Environment:

61. Which season is their favorite season?

Summer, though she was born in the winter, she prefers it if she can function outside or at least read by the lake.

62. Have they ever been betrayed? How did it affect their ability to trust others?

Okay, yes, everyone has been betrayed. She is currently dealing with the ramifications of an unjust deal with Heaven. It’s not easy for her.

63. What is always guaranteed to make them smile?

Her dog Bandit.

64. Do they get cold easily? Do they get overheated easily?

Yes, she is a slight woman, she gets cold easily.

65. What’s their immune system like? Do they get sick often? How do they react to getting sick?

She has a solid immune system, even when she gets sick she powers through. Bad mental health days knock her down a few pegs though.

66. Where do they live? Do they like it there?

Currently living in Denver, CO with Sam and Bandit. She lived in Chicago with her son and dog previously.

67. Is their bedroom messy? What about their bathroom? Kitchen? Living room?

No, she keeps her bedroom clean because she shares it (for the most part) now. The bathroom and kitchen are always spotless. The living room is a little cluttered, but that’s generally Bandit’s toys and research she leaves out when she’s not grading in the dining room.

68. How did their environment growing up affect their personality?

She was surrounded by love. Her mom was a waitress at a diner and her paternal granddad and big mama helped raised her. She knew she had to work hard for anything to come to her and she also was psychic so she was able to sense how her family was “odd” or “wrong” depending on whose thoughts she heard. She grew up learning to respect people and kill them with kindness, or wit if she had to.

69. How did the people in their environment growing up affect their personality?

See above.

70. How do they feel about animals? Do they have any pets?

She loves animals, but is very much a dog person. Yes, Bandit, the best boy ever.

71. How are they with children? Do they have any? Do they want any?

She is amazing with kids, especially one on one. She has a son George, who would have been 13 last spring. She is unable to have more.

72.   Would they rather have stability or comfort? 

Stability. Knowing what to expect is its own level of comfort.

73. Do they prefer the indoors or outdoors?

She is generally indoors, but generally all of her active free time is spent outside.

74. What weather is their favorite? Do they like storms?

To be in, sunny and clear. She likes storms from the safety of inside and thunder more than the lightning.

75. If given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

She would probably doodle old geometric patterns found on ancient manuscripts as a border. Possibly make a list of things that need doing or write the same word over and over again in different fonts.

76. How organized are they?

Fairly, not obsessively so.

77. What is their most prized possession?

Her PhD.

78. Who do they consider to be their best friend?

She was close with a few colleagues at her last job, a small college just outside of Chicago. But her mother was her best friend so it is hard to put that title on someone else since she lost her.

79. What is their economic situation? 

Currently upper-middle class. Previously working class struggling with medical bills.

80. Are they a morning person or a night owl?

She is not a morning person, but doesn’t stay up too late unless she has too.

Miscellaneous:

81. Are they bothered by the sight of blood?

No. Unless someone is severely hurt.

82. What is their handwriting like?

Not too neat, but generally a combination of print and cursive.

83. Can they swim? How well? Do they like to swim?

Yes, well enough to not die, she doesn’t know all the strokes or anything. Sure, but not as much as she likes sunbathing.

84. Which deadly sin do they represent best?

Oh, this is a tough one! I am going to say Envy, because though she had a great family growing up, she was still very much aware of what other people had. And their problems always seemed so frivolous.

85. Do they believe in ghosts?

Yes, she was a psychic, she spoken to spirits before.

86. How do they celebrate holidays? How do they celebrate birthdays?

She has her great-grandmother’s china that she keeps for the big holidays, Christmas, Easter, etc. She would host the cousins and aunties with her grandma and once her mom got too sick, it was harder to get everyone together. She and George would go to her Aunt Janice’s house when they could for Sunday dinner, but traffic in and out of the city was a pain during the school year.

87. What is something they regret?

Killing her son in self-defense.

88. Do they have an accent?

Not usually, she was in an academic setting for so long she doesn’t let it slip out often.

89. What is their D&D alignment?

Neutral Good, laws and those who enforce them should evolve quicker than they do.

90. Are they right or left handed?

Right.

92. Describe them as a John Mulaney gif.

93. What’s the most iconic line of dialogue they’ve ever said?

She groaned, grabbing his face in both her hands. “Fine! Asshole. But you better make it worth it.”

She was pointing a finger at his agreeing puppy dog face now.