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#the only people ive been able to talk to
phoenix-drop-guard · 23 days
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Been helping Zoey today, trying to avoid the priest and all that.
There's going to be a baby shower though, I don't know why but I don't really mind. It just means the kids will be in one place and I can have an actual conversation with Kiki again instead of saying "hi" and "how are you."
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fluffyartbl0g · 1 year
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Someone get this man a younger sibling that ISNT like. Twice his height.
#one piece#op fanart#monkey d. luffy#shirahoshi#kozuki momonosuke#IVE FINISHED REREADING THROUGH WANO IM OBSESSED WITH MOMONOSUKE NOW#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND I MISS HIM SO MUCH T - T!!!!#literally tears streaming down my face ‘But I think of you like a little brother!#You’ve heard of laser beam that make you read one piece#get ready for laser beam that makes you REREAD one piece#srsly. do it. I didn’t care about characters like bellamy or shirahoshi or even momonosuke all that much on my first read through#IM OBSESSED NOW. I LOVE HARUDJIN THE GIANT TOO AND I CANT WAIT TO SEE MORE OF HIM T - T!!! I ALSO DIDNT CARE ABOUT KATAKURI LIKE AT ALL#NOW I CANT GET ENOUGH#also what the actual heck guys. I know its only been a couple of months since wano ended.#but why aren’t there any fics centred on luffy and momo being brothers… There’s like one on ao3 and it’s in italian…#PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY SLEEPING SO HARD ON LUFFY BEING THE OLDER BROTHER/MENTOR TO BOTH MOMO AND SHIRAHOSHI#IM SO MAD#SHIRAHOSHI AND MOMO ARE BOTH THE CHOSEN ONES ; - ;!!! AND LUFFY HAS BEEN PROHPESIZED TO HELP GUIDE THEM TO USE THEIR POWERS!!!#eg shirahoshi hearing the voices of the sea kings and momo hearing zunesha#both times luffy hasn’t been able to talk to them… but he’s been able to guide his younger siblings to use their powers properly#No im fr obsessed with luffy and shirahoshi and momo WHERE THE GOD DAMN FANFICTION AAAGFRGEHSHHSHSHS#LUFFY TREATING SHIRAHOSHI AND MOMO THE SAME WAY ACE TREATED HIM WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER T - T#KILL ME AAAAA1!!1!1!1!!1!1!1#99 percent of all tags on my posts are just me freaking out LMAOOOO
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stiffyck · 3 months
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I think I already talked about this and I've seen others mention it but it's been on my mind again:
Is it weird that grian is usually drawn looking like a teenager or just a kid in general while the others look like adults
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clownsuu · 1 year
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I hope this question doesn't make you uncomfortable (extremely sorry if it does) but do you see howdy and wally as a couple? Your art of them is very sweet and I love it a lot
[looks at all my tagged ship art of them and then back at u]
yes HDGDGSH-
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puppyeared · 6 months
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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thebirdandhersong · 6 months
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#God if he's not an option WHY is he the only boy ive ever met who is this emotionally intelligent and mature and God-fearing#and not afraid of vulnerability and has such strong principles that he just straight up says No i will not when he knows he should not#and the only guy who's ever been able to tell when i'm sad when i'm trying to hide it (and is able to read me surprisingly well)#and who is gentle and humble and wants children and genuinely wants to prioritize his future family#and the only guy who i know and can trust is both a servant-hearted and honourable leader AND a attentive and compassionate listener#and who does SO MUCH for everyone in the background and never asks for applause or praise#AND is the only guy i'm this comfortable around (this is a FIRST) and can talk to for hours. why!!!!!!!!#why must he check all the boxes!!!!#also why must he have such beautiful eyes. they are GORGEOUS.#obnoxiously beautiful blue eyes that are just. very focused and gentle and tender. yes i also hate that i notice this#anyway literally HOW many times have i prayed the liturgy for the death of a dream from every moment holy this year. HOW MANY TIMES#i KNOWWWW it will never happen i KNOW this and yet!!!!! it's like i wake up and agonize over it all over again#why must he be like one of the loveliest people i know!!! why must it be like this!!!!#edit: i KNOW amazing men are allowed to exist and not be attracted to me lollllll but still i am trying to get the sadness out of my chest#as irrational as it may be at times#the waiting room chapter
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 month
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#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought.#i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper#thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times#like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks.#nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she#was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled#a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where#you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder?#but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what#then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student.#everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have#and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my#leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but#i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying#my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound#by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting#better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that#and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path.#one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do#what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it.#maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for.#unrelated
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hella1975 · 3 months
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Hi hella!!!
I feel like i always start these off or end them by saying that these things are going to be incomprehensible in some way, mainly bc i have trouble translating whats going on in my mind into written words so i really dont know how much of my list thingies make sense to you but this one is especially probably going to not make much sense. (also bc i send them a lot when im either very tired or not sober, but i am sober and wide awake rn so this might be a different kind of incomprehensible)
I found one of my old drafts for an ask from around a year ago and it was a follow up response to the last chapter you posted at the time, so im not sure how its going to sound without the context of that specific chapter, but i also mentioned in one of my other asks that i add stuff in last minute and that ask i added a shit ton of stuff so i dont have any of that pretyped out so im going by memory.  But im sending it again bc i havent seen you answer it 
(please do not interpret this as ‘why didnt you answer my ask >:/’ or me rushing you to answer asks or anything like that, but like I said its been a year so im assuming tumblr ate it.  If not and you just havent cleaned out your ask box and you find the original, congratulations you’ll know what i originally said.  Bc idk how accurate this will be)
SO
Theres two different ways that you seem to write metaphors (idk if thats what theyre called im not caught up on my literary terminology)
 (im scrolling through your blog rn looking for my other asks and tumblr really did you dirty in your asks system like i started scrolling and the third one down was from 2021 and im fighting for my life trying to find my tag (thank you for my tag btw its very useful to me))
Anywho, most of your metaphors ( to me) can be split into two categories.  Theres the simple ones and the complex ones.  Now this might seem obvious but im going to explain to you how these have different effects on my brain.  
An example of the ‘simple’ ones is  
““If Nanook’s tone had a note of seriousness, then Zuko’s was the entire orchestra.”” (idk what chapter this is from its been a while)
You have a lot of these kinds of whatever the haick kind of literary technique this is (is this a metaphor i’ve been trying to google it for like ½ an hour and i cant figure it out) BUT these type of things that are simple and easy to process is one of my favorite things about the way you write.  I think this is a very common technique but the way you do it to me is just a lot more unique than the ways ive seen it done before.  Its extremely fluent with the voice of the characters and brings a perfect kind of vibe to the ‘conversation’ (or story, text, whatever) and it paints the picture of what your trying to say perfectly.  I also really like how these types of things arent ever in Zukos pov a lot (sometimes it is, but not nearly as much, I’ve noticed) and its not in the more serious like revelations that you drop these in.  Like I said, it adds to the voice of the characters, bc of the contrast of Zuko constantly having revelations and dramatic archs and stuff, and the other characters just in general being a lot more calm.  Its like when youre listening to a song and you have the lyrics and the like ‘main’ music behind the lyrics, but then when you listen to the song a lot you notice the smaller, like backup music that adds a lot to the song and makes it a lot more enjoyable than if it was just the lyrics and the louder more up front music.  
Then in contrast you have the bigger ‘metaphors’ 
An example of this is ‘You curse in words already invented’ 
THIS IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THE ENTIRE FIC.  
OF ANY FIC OR BOOK EVER READ
AND THIS IS WHY
When I tell you I could not figure out what this meant for months I am AWFUL with stuff like this and interpreting it my english teachers hate me bc of it.  Id have the question ‘why were the curtains blue’ and my answer would be ‘bc the people who decorated the room like blue maybe theyre interior designers and it goes with the room 😊 and thats so hot of them bc i love blue too’  
But even thought i couldnt figure it out it stayed in my head and i probably thought about it once a day (i mean this literally, i think about that part all the time) and i cant remember the context for that or anything but i do remember that i knew it was a wonderful phrase.  
I’ve mentioned in my other asks how whenever im reading anything at all that you’ve written (whether its tams, or toab, or in the tags of something even if its like 10 words), everything you type comes out so fluidly like a formula or a color wheel or however i put it last time i talked about this.  And this is on the prodigious end of the spectrum of this.  
But phrases like that are another part of the fic, theyre like the lyrics of the song.  Like the phrases that gets all the attention and gets put in fanart and that gets quoted in comment sections because they deserve that recognition and you deserve that recognition and are just a reminder of how incredibly talented you are.  
I mean that in the most sincere way that i know how to express.  
I am constantly in awe of you and your writing style, and i really do think of you as one of the most talented writers of everything ive ever read.  
And something else worth mentioning is that it isnt just your ao3 that portrays that.  Like if I were to just read your ao3 I’d be like ‘oh wow this person is an amazing writer’ But your tumblr persona plays into it a lot more (In my opinion).  Because then you see like more ‘backround’ stuff on ao3.  And more of your system (im not articulating this in the way i mean it very well) and you get privy to the fact that you’re not a 30 year old with a masters in english and that you’ve never had any formal education on writing.  I vaguely remember you talking about a story about a sailor (??? i might be misremembering that) that you wrote when you were a child and thinking ‘oh wow so she’s always been like that’.  And its stuff like that that you dont get on ao3 that kind of reaffirms how incredible of a writer you are.  
And this (to me) makes you a really easy person to admire.  (ik i touched on this in a different ask but i dont remember if it was one of my list asks or not) but as someone who probably isnt going to ever be able to get an education around writing, it kind of reassures me that i dont need that to be great at it.  
(i kind of feel like a lot of the stuff in this ask is too like ‘simple’ or obvious to be given a lot of weight, but this whole thing is about the kinds of things you do that brings me personally joy and the metaphors are one of them so)
Also on an off note when i was looking through your asks to try to find my tag, I noticed that i send you a heavy percentage of your anonymous asks (mainly without my alias) and I thought that was funny.  But also i hope it doesnt come across as obsessive or weird, I swear i do that to a lot of people on here, I’m just a very social person.  .😂
Also Im in your tbos server (lurking in the shadows) and someone pointed out that whenever you do the reaction emojis you always do the white ones, and thats going on the official ‘my favorite things about hella’ list because that was genuinely one of the funniest things ive seen. 
Also the ‘anytime you type its very fluid (im too lazy to scroll up and see how i put it rn) also carrys on to discord.  I think that i could probably block out the user names and be able to figure out that its you talking every time, you have a very distinct way of talking.  
Also i wanted to mention that every time you answer these i read them again and i want to say like 1/3 of what i sasy, i have no recollection of. And i never have any idea what im talking about. so i think thats funny.
LIST ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN BAWLING MY EYES OUT HELLO BABY WELCOME BACK FROM WAR IVE MISSED YOU IM JUST HERE LIKE THIS RN
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bitchthefuck1 · 1 year
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One little detail that I really love about Succession is the fact that it's explicitly confirmed in the show that Kendall, Shiv, and Roman have all been to therapy—and yet they've clearly still never actually processed or confronted the trauma and dysfunction in their lives.
They all acknowledge that on some level they need help and that what's happened to them isn't okay, but they're so deeply invested in the power structures that hurt them that no amount of talking will actually change anything. They can't really confront the reality of their father and what happened to them, because that would mean rejecting the myths they've been raised on and profit off of, and none of them are willing to do that. So the cycle keeps going.
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pl4n · 25 days
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#my art#ive been so jsvgjsnsndjbdjks#just a big ol jumble of kahsjdbskdhi#and i wanna draw more but im so uninspired aahhaah#i kinda wanna do some studies or smth but ahhhh idk i also just wanna lie in bed when i can#i so tire#but being lazy and bored is also so exhausting haha it feeds itself#so yeah itd be good to try to push myself a bit in my free time to do smth kinda fun chill engaging#its crazy bc theres so much that i could be doing but i have such a hard time being self motivated...#so outside motivation like work or friends is the only reason i do literally anything#which sucks bc i have a lot of things id like to be able to do on my own but yeah. idk why its so hard to do things for myself#that being said if anyone sees this and wants to do lil drawing challenges or trades or smth together that might be niceee#im sort of painfully shy online haha tho im not so much irl#i think the thing abt it for me is the feeling of creating these lil digital footprints#like if i send a message or make a post its just preserved like that... forever.. actually i recently looked at emails from my childhood#and its really cool to see a slice of the past like that but still. idk why it bothers me tbh. i just never got used to it#memories fade and warp over time right? so it really feels like existing in the world and talking to people is just a passing moment#it doesnt really feel that way w the internet. as small and insignificant these small imprints might be#and im really just being neurotic but yeah. maybe i dont like the feeling of taking up space and slowly widening it with every little step#yea thats neurotic fr LOLL#anyways im really rambling away in these tags haha but if ima post this art anyway its such a good excuse to ramble into a void :D#and a good way to practice existing on the internet. im sure ill get used to it
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0809sysblings · 3 months
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idk why I'm posting this here but it's fine because I can do whatever I want. sorry I think I'm having an enneagram type 1 moment. it's not mental illness, it's because of my enneagram type! can't help being a Gemini Enneagram Type 1
also I keep using the amulet's powers so I've been being hit with the after effects. such power deranges a man /ref
#milgran't#type 1 momence#btw as a prefacw this is not directed at anyone here. this is just. a thing. that is everywhere.#ok. anyway.#the....... Exotification of DID/OSDD-1... is always so annoying.#and like. i get it. i understand. its probably a difficult thing for many ppl to actually comprehend as a real human experience#which brings me to the main point of this Pussy-Rant (ranting in tags bc im a pussy)#i think. the main reasom its So Exotified. is. '''''''MPD''''''''#serioisky that name has done. so much fucking damage its insane. absolute wack shit#anyway yeah. like. the concept of it being Multiple People In One Body/Brain... when like... that's.. not really whats going on..#like if youre a system and that's how you understand your system to be. then power to you. i dont care do literally whatever#its just. i think CDDs would be a LOT easier for people to understand if--#--it was not looked at as the Multiple People Disorder. but instead as the Fucking Extreme Compartmentalization Disorder#idk its just annoying seein ppl (who are probably very well meaning!) talk about the disorder i experience as if its bizarre and fantastical#~look wooooowwww this is something that can happen to the brain due to The Most Unreal And Most Traumatic Events!! crazy right?~#i am going to get the Evil Alter out here so he can beat you to death.#like yeah its fucking. sad and fucked up what has to happen to develop a CDD. and that should be acknowledged.#and many systems Have had to go through experiences that a lot of ppl can only fathom as being able to happen in fiction.#but.... its just so isolating and makes me feel Capital C Crazy 🥴#dear lord ive just been so irritable and frustrated lately... obligatory apologies.#ah. i think i suddenly figured out why this in particular triggers me so much.#god damn it it's always the fucking trauma huh!#<- spent basically all of elementary school and middle school feeling like there was a giant sign over my head that said--#--''this poor soul went through something so tragic! how awful to think that something that serious could happen to just a little kid!''#its the ''hey can you stop treating me as something helpless that needs to be fixed and just treat me like A Fucking Person'' feelings#but see this disorder is just so beautiful because in a week i may be wanting ppl to see me as a suffering freak who needs to be fixed#or hell even fucking tomorrow. who knows not me#.. ok im actually genuinely afraid talkimg about this is going to lead to her gettinf triggered out KDJSNKDJSNJD so im gonna. stop.
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brightokyolights · 4 months
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Bro no joke, forgetting that not everyone hates capitalism and then having to try have a reasonable conversation with someone about buying things... *eye twitch*
#to explain we will have person A - person B and then me#so person B is asking me if its ok to buy stuff from ebay - because i am a person that tries to avoid buying from amazon etc#and im like yeah should be because its independent sellers mostly - to be fair though yall. i barely buy anything online because i hate#online shopping. i try to buy things in person instead#anyways insert person A whos like 👁👄👁 oH aRe YoU oNe Of ThOse PeOpLE ThAt DoESNt pUrCHasE frOm AmAzON#yall im sighing just thinking about this conversation omfg its so stupid#anyways queue me explaining that yeah. i try to avoid it if i can because i dont like my money going to some motherfucker who doesnt need#the money (person B pipes in that jeff bezos is on the way to becoming a trillionaire which is Not Good 🙃 . thank you B now i will go on)#A then goes on to explain all the benefits to amazon “what if you want something the next day” i ask if theres really anything you truly#need right away like that. we used to live in times where you would have to wait or find it in a shop. A says “oh but its so cool and#convenient“ and i say sure. because they have the money and grew their business of being more 'convenient' than other businesses#A says “oh but the customer service is so good. if i want a return theyll do it straight away with no questions and maybe even give me#credit too“ and im like yeah. because they can afford to do that. ”sometimes independent sellers are in there too“ ok so buy from them then#If You Must but i can guarantee you mostly dont. not to mentuon theyre probably only on there in the first place because amazon has made it#so its one of the most popular places to use instead of anywhere else#and it went on. i just stopped talking eventually because it eas one of those situations where the other person was not fucking listening to#the point i was trying to make. which is that if you really have to. ok do it whatever. i get that its a bit impossible to avoid sometimes#im not gonna sit here and pretend when ive not been able to get something anywhere else i havent got it from there. but the point is to#actually think about WHY youre buying stuff and WHO the money is going to. because websites like amazon especially have created such a trend#of overconsumption. that you just buy stuff and then buy prime because oh its so cheap and useful and comes right the next day! and you dont#consider why any of these things are true. whos getting fucked over in the process. that you are one of the people getting fucked over!!!#lord i could go on but i shant#point is. genuinely do what you want like deep down i do not care it does not affect me and i know its not so straightforward#but people who just BLATANTLY and actively SUPPORT rich people (forgot to mention A kept talking about how the whole site was smart and that#Jeff was a genius blah blah) can you sit and realise that this whole system and that FUCKING Imbecile of a man are!!¡! a problem!!#i wish i could articulate it better but im leaving it at that#good morning yall xD#le text post
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terriblelizbians · 7 months
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whenever im really really stressed and too scared to open my computer bc there’s deadlines in there, and then i finally peek at my email and there’s something saying the deadline has been pushed back. oh it does something bad to my brain. but good to my heart...
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bulletsfrank · 6 months
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i just burst into tears reading a totally normal post of one of my moots having a good time with their friends and literally Just Living Life because i want to have that so badly. i am so fucking unfulfilled, alone, miserable... and it feels even worse because im doing it to myself
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sugarsugarmp3 · 2 months
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i turn 21 on monday and i just know im not going to enjoy this weekend at all...
#BIG vent in tags#the last two months have been honestly some of the worst of my life i am always always thinking about this rly shitty thing happened#and now i have to go home for my birthday weekend which i know i should be happy about and it is a good thing#but i just really dont want to go and i feel like a bad person for feeling that way#im doing better than someone i know and i need to go home and be there for them#i wanted to be in my apartment and relax with my friends#ive had 4 midterms this week and i am just exhausted with everything#and its not like it being my brithday will make my weekend bc thats literally impossible#and i feel so shitty about feeling this way bc im not the one who needs help right now and my bday shouldnt even be a priority in my family#bc we have bigger problems rn#but i still wish it was better. plus today sucked#i just am always awkward with people and i wish i was better at social stuff and ive felt rly lonely bc i only hve a few good friends#and trying to make friends is so impossible bc it seems like i keep doing the wrong thing and not being able to vibe with people#rn im just thankful for labs bc having constant lab partners are the only social interactions i get in almost all my classes#this girls would sit next to me in genetics and we would talk but i hvent seen them in a few weeks and i dont know their names#and im not great with faces so i cant even go up to them if i see them and i wouldnt even know what to say if i did#i see the same people in my classes but im sure they think im weird bc ive never talked with them but i always accidentally make eye contac#and one girl in 4/5 of my classes i sometimes talk with but i dont even know if she likes me and i acciendetnally made eye contact with her#while waiting for a lecture to start but then made no attemot to talk to her bc i thought itd be awkward and she probably thought i was#ignoring her#its just this week. its been so so shitty i dont know how to change thus
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moenmomentsthemoe-en · 9 months
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TW // vent art, blood, (referenced) suicide attempts + heavy vent in tags
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(lyrics from saint bernard)
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