#the only positve thing of that movie

[w-artie]

unpopular opinion: if I was Eli Hale watching his dad burn to death I'd have gone full Peter Hale on Scott and his pack without even an ounce of remorse

[littlespacestarbun]

Hello!! I was scrollin through a tf tag and saw ur post bout, indigenous coded aliens and how the fandom treats them.

I understand what coded means and I think I know what ur talking about? but if ur up to it could u elaborate on the “feral tfp op” bit cause I haven’t been in the fandom too long so can’t find what ur talking bout and I genuinely don’t understand but I would like to. if u don’t wanna answer this, it’s chill obviously.

:3 have a good day m8!

Hello! i do not mind elaborating at all!, as an native fan its a topic i don't get to speak on much so thank you!, (sorry in advance this is going to be a bit long),

to start with coding bipoc as aliens, robots, and other non-human creatures is a complex issue of itself, and it can harm bipoc people as well as to uplift us depending on the writers intentions, background details and of era of times of equal right movements,

the topics of coding bipoc as not human vary from person to person on our own lived experiences as bipoc, and i personally have many issues with coding bipoc as not human which are solely negative, the few positve were expections due to bipoc making them or simply them having some sort of positive effect on me instead of bad,

back onto the feral optimus issue, here's my point of view as a native fan,

optimus has personally been this one sort of "oh he's like us" coded indigenous character who's in a good light for me,

unlike every other coded indigenous alien in media i saw as a kid,

optimus prime is one of the few indigenous coded characters in tf as a whole, the others aren't very good due to many factors (thunderclash, wheelie, the combiner team victorion) or vague enough white fans ignore them even being coded at all or other things (omega, beachcomber, ironhide)

for me optimus was the first indigenous coded not human native person i saw painted as a hero,

he was seen as good for having his indigenous culture, beliefs and morals, it wasn't something which was used as making him evil and bad in the story, like a lot of indigenus 'rep' i had to see as a kid

that feeling is something hard to explain but i hold onto with tight hands because of how good it did me as a kid,

its why i have such deep emotional pain with how he's treated by white fans in all stories but tfp was some of the worst of it i had to see by far,

tfp optimus is full on indigenous its in your face with each moment,

to his back story, internal struggles and complex views of him from other characters (with himself and jazz being the only ones with unbias views due to being bipoc themselves),

his very writing feels like the story of a native person who made it out of force assilation and regain his cluture only to be forced into fighting for his rights again against someone who was orignally an ally, trying to assilate him into another opressive ideal,

with this in mind it makes how the jokes of tfp optimus being feral started worst,

alpha trion saying he was diffcult, he didn't fall into order right for his time not around Iacon culture, this is painted as a bad view to have by optimus,

yet the fans took this to mean because optimus lived a tribal life before that he was wild, he ran on all fours, sleep like an animal and needed to be saved from such a wild life to name some of the worst (others include nsfw and its gross),

there's a ton of aus and fanart, fics treating being indigenous to mean, he needs to be fixed, or ones painting being indigenous struggles as not real or small world issues,

these views are deeply intergrated anti-indigenous beliefs, if you look up the wild/savage native man trope and you'll see many racist movies, novels and comics painting native men as beasts who steal white women from white men, or even kill them and r-pd them because indigenous people are as savage animals,

which fall in line with how feral optimus is made with white fans, they treat his indigenous coding as fetish and use him not being human to disconnect the racism in their fanon, aus, fanart and fics,

but that disconnect only exists for them, fans of color see it clear as it is, feral optimus as a fan idea exists because of people being racist to bipoc, the concept is racist rooted in racism and race fetish spaces,

feral optimus prime stuff as fan content has been dying since we've called out on it more but its shows up from time to time and the fandom still suffers from treating bipoc coded characters badly, as a whole which i'd to touch on at some point because people don't see the issue much, and the people we kind of keep to ourselves to keep a sense mind while playing robots ha….ha,

I hope this at least gives some light onto the issue and answers your questions! not many bring it up so being able to explain it was an experience!

thank you for taking the time to ask and i hope you have a lovely day! hopefully this wasn't too wordy and made sense,

[manda-laynen]

Nana Movie Review!

Forgive me but I am deep in my feels and I can’t get out after this movie! I was really nervous going in because this movie is really famous as is the manga it is based on. I was curious as to how they were going to fit the whole story into one movie but luckily they decided to only do the first portion of the narrative. This was a good choice because it let me really connect with the Nanas.

The story is based on the lives of two girls, both named Nana. One is really bubbly and airheaded and the other is quiet and serious. They both move to Tokyo at the same time and end up living together in room 707. The bubbly Nana is nicknamed Hachi for her loyal nature so we will call her that to reduce confusion!

Hachi is a really sympathetic character because she is just a normal girl living a normal life. She is just trying to marry her boyfriend and live happily ever after. I know I have sometimes wanted to find my prince charming and settle down for the stability that life would provide. Unfortunately, Hachi’s boyfriend is not on the same page and the space between them continues to grow. I liked how the movie portrayed their drift apart realistically. After their split, Hachi has to figure out who she is when her reason for living in Tokyo and her future dreams go up in smoke. 

The bond Hachi has with Nana plays a big part in Hachi’s growth. The scene that really got me was of the girls the night after the breakup. Nana climbed into bed with Hachi and just stayed there. That kind of support is so important and I think it says a lot about Nana’s character. Even thought the girls are so different, deep down inside they are both starting out in the world and need someone to lean on. I really felt they both realized the other was who they needed.

Despite Hachi’s flighty nature, she seems to have a strength of her own that isn’t obvious. When she catches her boyfriend cheating, Nana is the one who flies into a rage and screams at him. Hachi cried of course but all she said was “I never want to see him again”. She realized that things were over and held her self above becoming petty or fighting to keep a guy who was already gone. Other times when she is working a tough job she stays strong when she is yelled at. She doesn’t take her pain out on others and still manages to stay positve. I personally think that takes a lot of strength and I respect her for it.

On to Nana! The story is supposed to be about each girl equally but I think Nana stole the show. From the moment you see her you just feel pain. She seems so sad and it really hurt my heart to watch her. Hachi seems to have a sense of hope around her but I didn’t feel that at all with Nana. She helps Hachi grow and learn but seems stuck exactly where she is. I would call it being stuck in limbo. She doesn’t want to be the person she was but doesn’t know who she should be.

 As you watch the movie you learn that Nana was part of a band when she was younger until a member named Ren left to go to Tokyo. Ren was a huge part of Nana’s life from being her friend to her lover. Their story is told largely in flashbacks and I think seeing the bits and peices every so often felt like revisiting a memory of an ex boyfriend. You know things were messed up but you still miss the way they were. I wanted to root for Ren and Nana but I just had a feeling the whole time that they were bad for each other. Even the music playing during their eventual reunion was not happy, it was desperate instead. I am not very familiar with the plot of the manga but I am fairly sure their relationship is not healthy as it grows so I really worry for Nana. Ren’s absence messed her up so much I don’t know if she could cope with it again. With Hachi’s help maybe but sometimes healing has to come from yourself first.

Another jarring element in the movie was the way Hachi was narrarating it. Only she spoke and she talked about Nana in past tense. It gave me the vibe that Nana had died! It didn’t sound like she was leading up to a happy ending. If anybody has read the manga, comment below or message me if you know why she does this! 

Did I like this movie? Yes I did. It made me feel that gritty sense of real life. It wasn’t like a shoujo movie where everything works out, it reminded me that life goes on. Happy endings are great but they don’t happen for everyone. You have to create a life you can live with. Even if you aren’t happy, you have to keep going. I think that was the main message of the movie. Maybe not the manga as a whole because I haven’t read it but I felt really motivated to go out and change my life after I watched the film. 

Thanks for reading,

6/10

[geneneianmark]

Deviancy in movie

THE MOVIE OF THE JOKER

Deviancy is a quirk of a character in a movie which has both side which is the overconformity and underconformity. My best movie example for this is the “JOKER”, but first let me explain the concept of deviancy in a movie, in the movie joker the main character killed many people to get his revenge in that way it creates the main character to become deviant which means behavior involves violations of informal social norms and is referred to as informal deviance, in short he killed people violates the law, before that we need to clarify the main character the main character was a normal person with in a society which I had seen the overconformity but because of his Pseudobulbar affect (PBA) which he performs sudden uncontrollable and inappropriate laughing or crying, and that’s the reason why he’s not accepted in the society. The joker movie I have seen form of types of sanctions in deviance which is the formal and informal sanctions, joker was once a good person who presents formally to others but because of his illness he has seen many informalities which is the informal sanctions, joker only wanted to live a normal life and do things like other people and accepted in the society. In social pathology, Joker became a criminal because of his illness and we can I can tell that joker become the psychopath that the society wanted him to be, the people might not know what he has become after the fun that they made to him. In other words, Joker wanted revenge to the people that didn’t accepted him as what he is that is why he created the disaster in Gotham City, which make him the villain in the movie.

OVERCONFIRMITY OR THE POSITVE CONTEXT OF THE MOVIE JOKER

Joker was a person who followed or work hard as a comedian/street performer, it was sad to see that he got neglected by the society and made fun of him, the people that made fun of him was called the underconfirmity people bullying the weak making people fall in their path, pulling others to the ground not knowing what they’ve been through, anyways joker was the person of dignity and work hard for a good money. Joker believes that someday he will be accepted in the society if he do things that is accepted in society but it turns to be the opposite of what he believe which is the neglection of him in the society, two or three times that joker let the oppression pass but until he realizes its too much and he can’t handle it, let’s talk about that in the negative context lets just focus in the positive. Joker can be seen in the movie that he is really motivated in doing a job despite having the illness of Pseudobulbar affect (PBA) which he performs sudden uncontrollable and inappropriate laughing or crying and that makes him vulnerable to society.

UNDERCONFIRMITY OR THE NEGATIVE CONTEXT OF THE MOVIE JOKER

Joker was once a normal person but society change him and become the king of crime called “JOKER”. Forever alone in a crowd, failed comedian Joker also called Arthur Fleck seeks connection as he walks the streets of Gotham City. Joker wears two masks the one he paints for his day job as a clown, and the guise he projects in a futile attempt to feel like he's part of the world around him. Isolated, bullied and disregarded by society, Arthur begins a slow descent into madness as he transforms into the criminal mastermind known as the Joker.

BOTH CHARACTERISTICS OF JOKER

Joker just wanted a normal life but instead of that he has given a wild forsaken society, but the good thing at first, he didn’t mind all that, and that makes him a good person or character. On the bad side of joker he didn’t hesitate to take revenge on the society that rejected him of what he was, that was the time that joker became the king of criminal, as we can see society shapes us deviance is also made by people we might not seen it but we need to also look on the other side that can lead to a person become a bad influence to our society

[gloomy-goober]

Glam Up a Rainy Day

In which a young Creativity and a young Anxiety bond during a rainy day in Thomas’ mind. 

@holdnarrytight @justanotherpurplebutterfly @twinkly-lights @here-to-vent @that-space-gay-writes

Anxiety sat by the window in the main hub. The youngest side had his hood pulled up over his head and his hand pulled into the over sized sleeves. Outside the little home light grey clouds hovered over the sky and let rain drops go and hit the ground. 

It was not caused by any terribly bad day that Thomas was experiencing, if it was Roman would be outside trying to fight it off. No, it was merely a normal occurrence of bad emotions appearing that any young teenager gets. Seventh grade was not an easy ride after all and neither is puberty.

The other sides seemed to be effected by this rainfall in Thomas’ subconscious. 

Heart, usually happy and bouncing, had lost his step and went to take a nap when the light rainfall briefly became a downpour. Logic went with the usually peppy side to make sure that Patton was not alone. Creativity had been going in and out of his room like a nervous squirrel. 

Virgil seemed to like the rain more then the others. It symbolized Thomas letting out some of his pent up emotions that made the anxious side’s job hard. He had a small desire to just go out and lay outside. Let the water seep into his hoodie, but he also did not want to risk a cold or Patton’s worry about him disappearing out into what was normally Roman’s domain. 

This did not stop him from cracking the window open slightly so he could listen to the rain and smell the calming scent. He liked listening to the other sides talk but this rare moment when the hub was empty made him realize he slightly missed his alone time in the basement. 

The boy let out a sigh and rested his head on the glass. The pitter patter of the rain lulling him into a blanket of security. He had probably would have sat like that all day if it was not for the afternoon interruption of Roman “Creativity” Sanders. 

The side did not seem to notice the newest addition over by the window as he dropped his stuff onto the hub’s coffee table. The usually green clad side had seemed to have taken a costume change in the direction of a disney character onesie. Virgil could not tell if it was Chip or Dale but he honestly expected a princess or Mickey Mouse. Maybe Pansy was feeling off today. 

The silent side shifted his watchful gaze from the window to the new interesting thing in the room. 

He watched as Creativity turned on the T.V. and stuck in a movie. From the sound of it the movie was Peter Pan. The Disney obsessed side did not look at the screen as he started to set up the things he had brought out. 

The young side dug around in the box he had brought out. Taking things out to put them back in after he set up a bunch of small glass bottles. Each one was a different color and Virgil slowly realized that they were all different kinds of nail polish. He pulled out cotton balls, nail clippers, a nail file, and a bottle that read ‘nail polish remover’ before the side closed the box and set it on the floor. 

A burning question burned in the back of Anxiety’s mind as he watched Roman look over the different colors before he grabbed a red colored bottle and began to shake it. 

What is Roman doing? Does he know I am here?  Would he be mad that I am here? 

Anxiety hugged his knees to his chest. His eyes were locked on Roman even though his thoughts were elsewhere. 

He probably would be mad. He hates me because... I’m too quiet.  Not outgoing. Stupid. A nuisance.  An unwanted addition. 

Just a terrible side for someone to have. I don’t do anything productive. I should just leave before I ruin his time out in the hub. He was here before you technically. 

“I know I am handsome but there is no reason to stare.”

The statement made Anxiety jump out of the darkest part of his mind and brought him back to reality. Creativity had stopped shaking the bottle and was looking over at the other with an unreadable expression. 

Virgil’s face burned with embarrassment. The dang habit of staring off into space was one he had not been aware of until he joined their world upstairs. He looked away and made sure that his hood casted a dark shadow over his pale face. 

“Sorry. Just...wanted to...” he began to say but let it trail off into mumbles. He still was not the best at expressing his thoughts verbally, it was something Patton was working with him on. “I’m sorry...I’ll go.” 

Virgil slipped from the window sill quickly and hunched his shoulders. He barely made it two steps away from the window before Roman’s words froze him in place. 

“Now hold on a second, Anxiety. Come over here.” 

He is going to yell at you for staring. Tell you how you were being really weird.

Anxiety sucked in a shaky breath and curled into himself more. He wanted so badly to run away back to his basement but that would only make Creativity even angrier. Roman was not known for his easy temper. 

The nervous side took in a deeper breath and forced his feet over to the couch. The boy sat as far as he could from Roman without letting on that he was scared. It was a skill he was learning was pretty hard; to put on an act of uncaring. 

“What?” His voice squeaked a little and he was going to pretend it was Thomas’ physical changes not his nerves. 

Roman held out his hands with the palms facing up. He did not say anything; just waited for Anxiety to get the idea. 

Virgil looked at him confused from under the shadow of his hood. 

Is this some kind of trick? What does he want?

Roman raised an eyebrow at him and looked down at his hand then back up at Virgil expectantly. This happened a couple of times before Anxiety finally understood what the older side wanted. 

Hesitantly, Virgil brought his hands out of his pocket and put them in Creativity’s outstretched ones. He held back a gasp at the feeling. 

Roman’s hands were weirdly soft and warm, not unlike Patton’s but there was more of a noticeable trace of growling callouses. This is not what made Anxiety sit up straighter. Creativity was also Thomas’ self confidence, positvity, and dreams. He was the opposite of Anxiety’s role as the caution, self-hatred, and pessimist. 

The warm, positive energy that Roman was leaking fought against the dark that plagued Virgil. The youngest side wanted to pull away and lean towards it all at the same time. Whatever Roman’s plan was with the holding hands, Virgil was not going to complain. It felt oddly nice for the thoughts to be completely quiet.

Creativity had locked his fingers around the other’s hands as soon as they had touched his palms. The grip was gentle yet firm as he got right to work. He pulled them up close to his eyes and observed them with a quiet noise that sounded like a tisk. 

“Bitten almost down to the bone,” Roman muttered, “But not completely irreparable.” 

Virgil wished he could do some other expression besides confusion when around Creativity but it seemed this side could only spur that emotion. 

Just as quickly as Roman had latched onto the hands he let them drop back to Anxiety’s lap. The warm positive feeling disappeared with the loss of the touch and Virgil had to do his best to not let the disappointment show. The boy just pushed them back into his hoodie’s pockets and watched as the older side looked over the items on the table. 

“Well, I am not specialist but I think today is your lucky day,” Roman said after a moment and held out a hand expectantly.

“What?” Anxiety got out, finally voicing how lost he was. 

Creativity rolled his eyes and pulled one of Anxiety’s hands from the cover of the pocket. The same warm feeling passed over Virgil but he kept his mouth shut about it. His eyes locked onto the nail clippers that Roman held in the hand that was not holding his own. 

“I am going to fix this nail biting problem. It is simply a terribly thing to do to your nails,” Roman said and began to work at clipping down the ragged ends of the youngest’s finger nails. “You are so lucky that it was me you came to for this.”

“I didn’t...you called me over?” 

Roman ignored the quiet supply of the true information. “I doubt Logan or Patton could fix them in this stage of terribleness.” 

He clipped the last nail and looked them over with an approving gaze. The fanciful side set down the clippers and grabbed the nail file; working with experience that Anxiety could not help but wonder where the other got it. 

“Choose a color.”

“Huh?” 

Roman blew over the other’s hand to get the dust off and nodded his head to the table that was still strewn with different colored bottles. There were pinks, blues, red, greens, and even glitters. It was a little overwhelming for the quiet side. 

“I don’t really have greys or blacks or whatever you emos like,” Roman set down the hand he was working on and grabbed Virgil’s other hand. The anxious side not even reacting to the flood of positivity this time. “But I am sure that you can find something dark enough to appease your little gremlin soul.”

“Do I need to choose a color?” Anxiety whispered. The flood of positive emotions spurred him on a little. 

The question made Creativity pause. The boy mid-clip of a terribly torn up thumb nail as he seemed to mull the question over in his mind. 

“No?” he said the word slowly and unsure before he seemed to find a train of thought that appeased him. “But the polish will hopefully help in stopping this bad habit. You would not want to bite this stuff off your nails; trust me.” 

He’s...trying to help me?  Why?

Virgil bit back the question with a bite to the lip and looked over the different colors again. The free hand almost went and grabbed a sliver bottle before he spotted a color that was set near the blues. It was out of his range of motion with Roman filing down his nails so he had to point over to it. 

“Can...can I have that one?” 

Roman blew off the dust and looked over in the direction the darker clad side pointed. An honest shocked expression passed over the young side’s face as he let go of Anxiety’s hand. 

“Royal Purple?” 

Virgil nodded. The more he looked at the color the more he liked it. It was weirdly bold while also having a calming effect. 

“Well,” Roman paused and took a glance at Anxiety’s eager face before the pre-teen gave a dramatic sigh. “Fine. I was going to paint my nails red today anyway.” 

The creative side grabbed the bottle and set it down close to the two of them before he grabbed a clear bottle. The began to shake it. 

“We need to put a base coat on first. It helps the polish stay longer,” he explained when he caught the shadowed expression on Anxiety’s face. 

The next few moments were filled with Peter fighting hook on the T.V. screen as Princey carefully dusted off the last of the dust with a rag and then began to paint Virgil’s nails with a clear coat. Neither of them said a word to each other but Anxiety had to admire how the simple clear polish made his usual disarray nails look better. 

“Wave your hands around,” Roman commanded as he put the bottle up. “We want that dry before I put on the purple.” 

Anxiety felt ridiculous doing it but he was not going to question Creativity. He waved his hands around to dry the polish and while he did Roman began to clip his own, much nicer, nails. 

Roman set the down the clippers when he was done and gently placed a hand on Anxiety’s wrists to get him to stop. He held one of the wrists in a gentle grip and grabbed the purple polish.

“Alright, be super still for me. I don’t want to get it on your skin. I don’t like to clean edges.” 

“Okay.” 

Virgil was as still as a statue despite his nerves. The young side stared down at the other as he worked. Every time a clear coated nail turned into the vibrant purple he felt a small spark of excitement go through him. 

Roman did not even have to tell him to wave his hands when he finished the last nail. The quiet side going to the action without question. Virgil did not even move to pull his hood back over his head when it slipped down. He did not want to mess up Creativity’s work. The flamboyant side grabbed the nail file to work on his own hands while they waited. 

When the color was done drying Roman put another clear coat over the nails. It seemed to take the purple and turn it into jewels in Anxiety’s eyes. 

“And there, when that dries you will be all done. Course you could do a pedicure but I refuse to do feet,” Roman said as he set the bottle down. 

Virgil stared down at his painted nails with wide eyes. Sure the skin around the nails still had the obvious signs of dry skin and his cuticles were not the best in the world but they looked amazing. Roman had done an amazing job with the limited experience. 

Roman and Virgil were shocked when the youngest side suddenly lept forward and hugged the other. The two frozen with Anxiety latched onto Roman in a hug. 

“Thank you.” 

Creativity was not given an option to respond. Just as quickly as the other had shown affection he let go and hurried out of the main hub. The basement door closing before the other side could blink. 

It was nerves that drove Anxiety into hiding but they were not the standard nerves the young side was used to. They were the kind of nerves that made someone want to giggle, jump, spin around in a circle, or just all over be happy. The positive energy that Creativity had unknowingly leaked still running through him as he made his way down into his room in a careful way to not mess up his hands. 

Upstairs, Roman did as he said he was going to do. He painted his nails red; bright rubies that would stand out against his usual green outfit if he decided to change back into it.  The movie he had put on covering up the fact that the rain that had been falling outside in Thomas’ subconscious had stopped. 

[kissme-hs]

Wove

Hi there! Daddy Harry has got me fucked up :) Here is one more fluff. Hope you like it. Btw talk to me about astrology or if you need any help or just wanna talk, my asks are always open. Feedbacks please:).

Word count :: 1470

You were seven months into pregnancy. Having a round belly whilst having two monkeys at home wasn’t an easy thing. The mood swings and hormones weren’t a much of big help as well. Rose and Noah were only 4 and a half and 3 respectively. quite young the babies were. Plus Harry being busy with the movie promotion and new single coming up was difficult, though he always tried to give you time as much as he can.

You groaned siting down on the couch. The soft spongy stuff giving relief to your hips and your swollen feet as you rest them on the coffee table in front of you. You just had gotten Noah to sleep and now you were beyond exhausted. Harry was at work. Rose in school. Harry had told you that he’d pick Rose up from her school the morning he left so one thing was off your list to worry about.

You closed your eyes and laid head back trying to relax when you sudden pressure on your stomach. She was kicking again. It was a weird thing for you to have her kick during a specific time. In mornings she’s calm but as it makes to afternoon, her hype self starts and so does her legs. You rubbed the swell of your belly trying to get her calm down.

“Hype baby aren’t you? ” you smiled to self with the thought of once again having small bundle of joy in your arms in a few days.  Time went like sand slipping through fingers. It’s like you blinked and your babies were this much big. Though they were pain in nose sometimes, you loved them endlessly. For a mother, her children are her everything. She devotes herself to her kids. So did you. Rose and Noah meant everything to you. They were the centre of your world.

“Can’t wait to meet you Snow.” You whispers as a fast tear rolled down your cheek.

When you found out that this one is gonna be a girl, Harry suggested to name her Snow. Beatiful and pure as it.

“y/n!!!!” Harry came running to you where you stood in the bathroom.

“look its snowing! First Snow fo winter!” He said excitedely. He had so much passion and love in his eyes. No matter how old he grew, he still was a kid at heart. But when his eyes when to the thing which had you distracted from him, he teared up. Blinking your own tears away you nodded smilig. Positve the test showed. One more baby was on the way.

“If it’s a girl can we call her Snow?” he asked with hope in his eyes. All you did was nod and embraced him in a tight hug.

And basically that’s how he came up with it and with the name Rose and Noah as well. Rose because, when she was born she was pink as it and Harry found her immensely delicate. So you guys decided to stop on that name. Noah becasue when he was born, Harry though that he looked more like Ryan Gosling. Though you didn’t think like that, to you he looked like Harry only but for his happiness you let Harry name him Noah. All three names were admirable and suited your kids personality perfectly.

Rose was beautiful and delicate like one. She was kind and was just like her father. Gentle and humble.

Noah was much like you. Bubbly, talkitive and had brown straight hair unlike Rose who had curls at the end. But he too had a kind heart like his father.

Harry was no doubt brought upp a gentleman by his mother. And he was doing the same for kids. Along with you, he gave kids the best habbits he could. How you should always brush your teeth before bed, how you should fold your own clothes, carry your plate to he kitchen etc.Though they were bit too young, he wanted to have it from the beginning. And when kids started following his rules, you could see the happiness and pride in his eyes glistening with love for his kids.

“momma?” You heard small croacked voice. Opening your eyes, you saw Noah standing with tears in his eyes. His hair were messy and his pyajamas was scrunched along with his tee. He had his penguin fluffy toy tucked under his arm. His lips bottom started to wobble so without wasting a time you called him to you.

“baby c'mere. What’s wrong?” You cooed as you opened your arms for the toddler to come in them and being momma’s boy, he gladly did so.

“what happened?” you asked tucking him under your right hand and he insantly hide his face in your chest. You rubbed his back with one hand and ran other in his soft hair.

“yeh wove meh no more afte’ baby come” he said. There was a hint of sadness in his voice, how the tiny baby boy was desperately hurt thinking that his mother won’t love him after the new baby. Hearing those words broke you just like every mother. How could you ever stop loving him? But the poor three year old believed that you could.

“oh no no bubba. Momma can never stop loving her precious baby.” you said holding up your own tears. You felt his grip going tight on you. His tiny arms couldn’t reach your back but rested on the swell of your belly.

“b-because new baby is small and need momma more” he said weeping as he oulled away to face you. His nose pink along with his cheek and ears. You cupped his small face and rubbed his tears strained cheek. Collecting the small tear soff his eyes you leaned in to peck his forehead.

“that’s right. Baby is gonna be so tiny and will need mommy but, that doesn’t mean that mommy will stop loving you. Even Rose had to share me with you when you were born. You were so tiny that you need to be looked after all th etime, but that didn’t made mommy to stop loving Rose. now did it huh?” you asked softly still rubbing his cheek. He shook his head sniffling.

“i-i don’t wanna share mommy” he cried once again clutching onto to you and this time, it was bad. He was so innocent that the thought of him sharing his mommy with the new baby was unbearable for him.

“hey hey. Baby look at meh” you said cradling his face. He stared at you sniffling with those green eyes he resembled from his daddy. You smiled softly and put his hand on your belly. His hand small baby hand scrunched at first but eventually flatend on your belly. And soon there was a kick. And taking you by surprise, Noah eyes were wide open and mouth big agaped.

“momma!!! Something happen!!!” he said. Tears now were forgotten.

“yes baby!! It’s your sister. She says she loves you. She just high fived you from momma’s tummy!” you exclaimed gigglng. His face expression changed from surprise to happiness as he sat properly so that he can look at your tummy properly.

“Really mommy?” he asked.

“yed baby!! try again” you said and so he did it again. And once again you felt the kicks. His smiled grew and next thing you knew was Noah kissing your belly.

“I wove you too baby sister.” he said out of love. The heartwarming scene brought tears to your eyes.

“How was you’ day?” Harry asked rubbing your shoulder with your face hidden in his neck. At last you had your man and all you wanted was to have a nice warm cuddle with him. It was past kids bedtime and they were already tucked in beds.

“good. Noah started crying because he thought after Snow is born i won’t love him.” You mumbled pecking the soft skin of his neck.

“really? wha’ happened next?” he asked showing interest in hearing out about his baby. Harry missed spending time with kids so he made uo by hearing to their stories.

“I made him feel the kick a-” you were going on but the loud thud made you pull away. You saw Noah running through your bedroon door and crawling on the bed betweeen you two. Carefully he leaned in and kissed your belly softly and then hugged it.

“love you snowie. I wove you. Always. I am your bwig brother.” He said and ran off to his room before kissing your tummy one more time.

“He fell in love with his sister.” you smiled watching him go and tilted your head to look at harry who had tears in his eyes. You cuddled to him and let him be. Fathers did needed to cry. They’re fathers after all.

[violetren]

Just back from The Last Jedi.

This is one of those movies where there are really two distinct meanings behind the phrase “it’s a good movie.”

If you’re judging by it’s entertainment level- the action sequences, the witty one liners, the cute critters- then yes I would say it’s a good movie.

But if you’re judging by how it works as a complete story- motivations, developments, closure- then about the best I can offer you is that you’ve probably seen worse.

Oh there are moments, shining, glimmering moments that are good. Of course there are with the sheer number of talented, hard working people who went into making it. But as with life, moments don’t last forever, and what exists in between them is one hell of a mixed bag.

There’ll be some spoiler filled gushing/criticising under the readmore for anyone who might happen to be interested.

Gushing: ROSE TICO EXISTS! KELLY MARIE TRAN IS (as most of us probably know by now) FUCKING AWESOME!

Criticising: Kylo Ren not only exists but remains in full possession of all of his limbs. I find this distasteful.

Gushing: LEIA FORCE PULLING HERSELF THROUGH SPACE AND BACK ONTO THE SHIP WAS FUCKING INCREDIBLE.

Criticising: They did nothing to end Carrie Fisher’s roll in the movies. Unless they got some shooting done for the next movie already, or unless they pull off something really REALLY special with their writing, editing, and special effects, we’ll be going into the next movie with the only Original (save for Chewie and the droids I guess) that is alive in movie is dead in real life. Unless they had one hell of a contingency for this they’ll probably pull some Died Off Screen BS. Which I’d get it. I would. But are we really gonna pretend knowing the why behind it is actually going to magically make a send off like that satisfying? There were multiple moments during the movie where a little movie magic could have given Leia a purposeful (in a moving the plot kind of way) death and the movie just kind of waved at them as they went by.

Gushing: Hux was ready to put a laser pulse through Kylo’s skull.

Criticising: Hux didn’t actually get to put a laser pulse through Kylo’s skull.

Gushing: BB8 GETS SHIT DONE

Criticising: I saw a post calling Kylo Ren Space Trump, and I get it. Gods do I get it. He’s like a toddler who thinks that just because he has a bit of power he can do anything he wants, and then throws LITERAL temper tantrums when faced with the inconveniences of things such as reality and consequences for his actions.

We’re gonna end this on a gushing because a little positvity is always a good thing.

Gushing: The new kids grew. At times it was clumsy, and that clumsiness made the big revelation moments feel kinda rushed, but they all learned something. Poe about playing the long game, Finn about what’s worth fighting for, and Rey about making her own path. I could probably make painfully long posts for each of them outlining how each of their journey’s could have been crafted with more care (there’s a difference between a story being not smooth to give emotional realism, and a story being not smooth because of weaknesses in the plot) but their journey’s happened. They got from A to B. Which means we’ll all eventually get to see them use their new outlooks to get from B to C and hopefully, we’ll have fun watching that happen when the time comes.

[it-will-not-last-the-night]

Character Interaction

Just a few sorts of character interactions I would have enjoyed in P5 and think could have been expanded upon;

Akechi and Ryuji: I’m actually very fond of the idea of these two interacting. It is rare, both in and out of canon, but when I’ve found it I’ve usually really enjoyed it. I suppose I see them as serving as foils for each other in more ways than one, and wouldn’t mind a more extensive interaction between them, particularly since they also have this singular very large hangup regarding the roles their fathers had in their lives. I also love the contrast between them, both positvely and negatively, with Goro having far more success in an objective sense in his life later on, but never having the same sort of compassion or emotional support in his life Ryuji did. Both have an instinctive desire to help others, but go about it in very different ways. Put simply I think they’d have served as good counterparts to each other (though I know the MC is supposed to serve more as Goro’s counterpart). In particular I would not have minded a discussion, by Goro, purely hypothetically, asking Ryuji what, if he was granted the ability to, would he have done to his father?

Futaba and Yusuke: I enjoyed the interaction between these two quite a lot, it felt a lot more positive ‘younger-older sibling squabbling’ than the namecalling elsewhere, and I honestly wish that they’d included more of the two, particularly I wouldn’t have minded a chance to watch the two having to learn about each other’s aesthetics. Obviously the idea of romance exists, and I’m not going to rule out the idea that an eventual Yusukue/Futaba can be nice, but right now the interaction I’m talking about more is pseudo-sibling, particularly since Yusuke can easily match Futaba’s wierdness step-for-step, he too’s been excluded almost his entire life by his peers despite being a genius, like her, in his own field.

Madarame and Yusuke/Haru and Kunikazu: I think these were the only ones of the Targets, barring the ones who were explicitly redeemed within the game, who even an attempt at some nuance is made. We know from Yusukue’s Confidant that Madarame must have at least felt something for the infant Yusuke, seeing as one can’t predict artistic skill via genetics and the sheer panic he experienced when a young Yusuke got sick. Now of course none of this will ever fully make Madarame and Mr Okamaru good people, they’ve done terrible things, but at the same time the recognition that, no matter what happens, they’ve both played a large formative role in their child and child-figure’s lives to be dismissed easily would have been interesting to see investigated more deeply. Particularly I felt with Mr Okamaru (the most suspicious of all the PT’s targets due to how manipulated it was) there was not enough time spent establishing his motives, hinted at by the shape his treasure takes, and what his actual feelings for Haru were. Now his death means of course it’d be impossible to go further with him (hence why I felt more should have been done before) but I’d actually have enjoyed if Yusuke’s Confidant had involved a visit to Madarame, not to reconcile necessarily, but perhaps for Yusuke to try to ascertain how much of his life with Madarame was Madarame genuinely caring for him and how much was simply exploitation (and perhaps there is no simple answer).

Shiho: Just her in general. It is really a pity to me that she does not stay on to become a Confidant of any sort whatsoever. Would have enjoyed seeing her interaction with Mishima/Ann/Ryuji expanded on. Even Makoto as well. Makoto feels guilty concerning Kamoshida but never actually interacts with the person who actually suffered the most at Kamoshida’s hands personally, she only interacts with her via proxy through Ann.

Ryuji and Makoto: I strangely enjoy these two’s interactions, perhaps because I feel as if Ryuji does seem to have a very strong and visceral initial attraction to Makoto’s reveal of her ‘true self’ being clearly quite awed and impressed by it all, and the first of the Phantom Thieves to insist that Makoto not beat herself up or feel bad. The concept that he nurses something of an unrequited, deeply-seated, attraction to her true self, but not as much to the rule-abiding, determined-to-achieve facade she used and sometimes uses, seems bittersweet to me, and I’ve always been a sucker for bittersweet relationships.

Mishima and Haru: Maybe it is simply still as a result of that post I made before, but the knowledge that Haru spent some extended time on the Phansite, and clearly came to like Mishima enough to dislike the notion of targeting him for a Change of Heart, honestly makes me wish that the two had become friends, even if only online (although both attending Shujin I’d see no reason for them not to be friends there as well).

Another general thing I’d want, concerning the interactions of the Phantom Thieves, is simply a change to the format of some of their social excursions. It often struck me as strange that, rather than inviting the whole group to watch a movie, the characters would consistently refuse to invite anyone but the protagonist. I’d have prefered for more social excursions, like watching a movie, where the entire group partook, giving us all their reactions and interactions.

[sasuhinasno1fan]

Warm with you-Voltron Ship Positvity Week Day 7

This took a while. Orginally, I was going to do fireworks, but decided on this instead. Enjoy the Shance. Fireworks/Bonfire

Shiro lowered the volume of the radio, glancing at his boyfriend who was asleep in the car seat next to him. They had the week off from work and they were staying at Allura’s beach house for the weekend, while Allura was busy with work. Shiro wasn’t complaining though. They both needed a break from work and Lance loved the ocean. Soon Shiro could spot the shine of the ocean peeking through and waited until it was easily seen to shake Lance awake.

“Babe, look. You can see the ocean.”

Lance looked sleepily through his window but he gained a big smile at the sight of water.

“Can we please go swimming when we get there?” Lance begged

“Lance, the sun is about to set. You might be able to swim but I don’t feel good about you being out there by yourself.”

Leaning his head against Shiro’s shoulder, Lance said casually, “well, if you come with me, then I wouldn’t be alone and maybe we could try a few things.”

“Lance, I can’t swim very well, you know that. Besides, I am not having sex on the beach with you. Have you heard how uncomfortable that is?”

“I meant in the water, but fine. But I want to do something fun tonight. That isn’t stargazing, because that’s something we can do for the next couple nights with how far away from the city we are.”

Shiro thought. According to Allura, there wasn’t much to do in the nearby town, except for the old school theatre they only showed classic movies. While Lance loved Singing in the Rain, there was only so much Lance could sit through before getting restless. Then he remembered something about the house.

“Lance, you like smores right?”

Lance looked at Shiro, confused at the question. “Um, yes. Why?”

“Allura said there’s an outside fireplace on the deck.”

“Isn’t it a bad idea to roast marshmallows over that? At least that’s what they told me at my old college when they had bonfire nights at the outside commons.”

“According to Allura, it’s perfectly safe. Is that ok to instead of trying to swim out to sea?” Shiro asked, a teasing smile on his face.

Sticking his tongue out at his boyfriend, Lance agreed. “Fine, I’ll somehow survive, but you better have big marshmallows. You always pick up the small ones.”

“Uh. Um, I might have to go and get a few things from the store.” Shiro mentioned, looking a bit guilty.

“Uh huh. That’s what I thought.”

The night fell, the sounds of waves the only sound that filled the night, the growing crackling fire joining it. Dressed in sweats and a long sleeve shirt, Shiro watched the fire grow hotter, as he broke the segments of chocolate apart. The bag of jumbo marshmallows sat open next to him on the free chair, the sleeve of gram crackers next to it.

The glass door to the deck slid open and Lance walked out, balancing two glasses in one hand.

“What is that?” Shiro asked, setting aside the chocolate now that it was ready.

“Sex on the beach. Allura’s got a lot in her bar.” Shiro gave Lance a blank look, to which Lance shrugged. “Well you said no actual sex on the beach so this is our alternative.”

Shiro shook his head, taking his glass, watching Lance pull over a chair next to his. He handed Lance a skewer and the bag of marshmallows.

“Having a nice night?” Shiro asked as Lance started roasting his marshmallow.

The shorter man nodded. “I needed this. Work has been so stressful. It’s even better I get to spend it with my favourite guy.”

“Don’t let Hunk hear you say that.”

Lance let out a laugh. “Don’t worry. You’re the only one I can say that to without upsetting the teddy bear.”

“A teddy bear who could bench press me if he wanted to.” Shiro muttered.

Shiro only drank a bit of the cocktail, but the vodka was making things a bit hazy. He decided to lay off the drink for the rest of the night, or at least until they were away from the fire. He watched Lance consume about 3 smores before he called for a break. The light of the fire made Lance look like he was glowing, the shadows adding to his beauty.

“What?” Lance asked, when he noticed Shiro staring at him.

“You look beautiful.”

Lance’s face turned a shade of red, before looking away from his boyfriend. “Sh-shut up, you can’t say things like that.”

“Even if they’re true?” Shiro pointed out, watching Lance’s face get even redder.

“Shut up.”

Shiro smiled. He got more comfortable in his chair, looking at the flames when he noticed Lance shivering. “Cold?”

“A bit.” Lance answered, rubbing at his sweater covered arms a bit. Shiro noticed that was one of his sweaters. It wasn’t surprising Lance was still a bit cold, Lance could drown in one of his sweaters, they were so big on him.

When Shiro lifted his arm, where an empty space was, Lance took the chance. He climbed into Shiro’s lap, cuddling up close to him. Shiro wrapped his arms around him, slowly rubbing warmth back into his arms. Lance could live like this forever, wrapped up close to Shiro forever.

[kendrixtermina]

“Can’t help it” - NT conversations

So me (INTP) and my younger sister, whom I affectionately call Sabbel (INTJ) were casuall chatting over WhatsApp, and... it has to be seen to be believed.

(Warning, deliberately inappropiate jokes galore)

INTJ: I see the plants you get as gifts still live

INTP: Yes aren't they cute?                          The plants I mean                         My babies 🌵

INTJ:Yes they are cute. Though it's sad that they can't hear you

INTP: 🍄🌾💐🌷🌹🥀🌻🌼🌸🌺🎄🌲🌳🌴🌱                         If they can't hear me, they can't think I'm an annoying smartass hermit             Besides plants communicate & sense a lot more than they're given credit for     Not those plants probably tho                         But that nice smell of fresh mown grass?                         That are actually stress response chemicals                         So they are SCREAMING

INTJ:  INTP!                         HOW DARE YOU                         They are not animals                         So they don't scream                         They do seek help                         And alert the rest

INTP *quoting GITS 2 “innocence*: "Blessed are those who have a voice"

INTJ:  But they don't screem                         Scewam*                         Scream*                         That' s biological appropriation, sis

INTP:  But what IS a scream? Is it just a noise? Then how can I DO THIS WITH CAPSLOCK?                        

INTJ: That's not ok                        

INTP: Or how can it be saved on a hard disk in a horror movie?                        

INTJ: Don't just force your human behaviour and habits onto them                         INTJ: They are not screaming so don't call it that                         INTJ: That's offensive to plants                        

INTP: Who says they aen't? The plants?         

                INTJ: And while they will not take offense that is a really bad excuse                         INTP:  If anything you're speaking for them;                         INTP: The plants are just saying "Tannins!"                         INTP: And whatever other molecules they use XD                        

INTJ: Thats's like  giving a blind person the finger and saying they won't notice anhways                        

INTP:  But see thats the point its kinda a philosophical question                        

INTJ: Saying that they are screaming is  usingscreaming as a metaphor to human use them                        

INTP:  If a tree falls down all alone, did it really happem?                         INTP: (* Im just being derpy right now just ignore me *)                         INTP:  Don't take my silly plant jokes they're ALL I HAVE in my empty meaningless existence                        

INTJ:  Because we can't properly perceive it with our senses we just force the verb of a sense on to it                        

INTP:  its called a METAPHOR stupid                        

INTJ: Yes                       

INTP:  or expanding the meaning of the word, not forcing the original one                         INTJ: Metaphors because of convenience                        

INTP: we all know plants dont literally scream                         INTP: because... we'd hear it                        

INTJ:  No                         INTP:  except if it as really quiet                         INTP: or ultrasound                       

INTJ: Maybe they's do it on a frequency we can't hear                        

INTP: / different frequencies          

 but you still get the point                         INTJ: Sis                    INTJ: If anything it should be called producing chemicals for help                       INTJ: Or smelling /  stinking for help                         INTJ: Or well to alarm                         INTJ: But we use scream                        

INTP: else we couldnt say that bad things "suck" because they dont liteally suck on anything like our abstract thoughts have long since surpassed our physical reference frames                         INTP:  we can make up shit like inacessible cardinals                       

INTJ: Because humans don't smell for help but scream for help                          Even though smell is more accurate                                    

INTP: But a scream is not just sound (or data, or text), it's an expression of something                        

INTJ: Sis, Things suck because they suck all the fun out of your life         

INTP: good one                        

INTJ: And , occasionaly , your should                          Soul*                        

INTP: or drugs dont make you literally float up high                        

INTJ: Yeah but when we talk about drugs we usually talk about psychotropic ones                        

INTP: what a word rignally meant matters only for disambiguation purposes - doesn't make sense to talk when you mean different things by it                        

INTJ: Which make you mentally high                          /  feel lighter m float , high                        

INTP: but what is "mentally high"?                         INTJ: Some                         Like most don't                         But some do                         INTP: it has nothing to do with physical high-ness its just a metaphor                 because we associate high with positve                             a non bipedal anima would see it all different                 

INTJ: Sis, I am gonna insist in bs for arguments sake                         0Accept it                         I love common up with ridiculous exagerated arguments                         INTP: well me to                         * too                         INTJ: Big Sis  ❤                         INTP:  we can fight all day about whose bs wins but its an arbitrary deffinitional issue in the end - just like "high", "screams" or math                         language is a tool                         its correct use is somewhat dependant on your purpose                         ppl make new jargon for new puposes all the time                         obsly there are limits - if only you defne a word one way you're not gonna do much useful communicating                         but it is a tool                         also, i heart you too                         BTW did you know that Dolphins use pufferfish to get high? They even pss them around                         Pufferbong                         I just read an article on tumblr

Besides I just realized this "don't call it human things" is such a typical 5w6 thing XD                        

 (I apologize)                         INTJ: Sis                     Male dolphins also rape  other male dolphines to assert their supremacy           So like I'm alpha dolphin you are unde rme in the hierarchy                         So I will rape you    So you feel bad and are afraid of me               INTP: Dolphins are horrible people                         INTJ:   Yeah                         INTP: They also torture tortoises for fun & profit                         INTJ: Raping stoners                         INTP: Good thing im not a tortoie OR Dolphin                         INTP: XD                         INTJ: The mexicans of the ocean XD             

INTJ:  I'M SORRY                        

INTP: *laughing tears emoji*                         INTJ: I'M SORRY                         INTJ: #  the ocean second                         INTP: Im doing that emoji IRL right now                         Don't compare the poor mexicans with those devilish Dolphins                         It would be far more accurate to compare Dolphins to duck                         *Ducks                         INTJ: 🐬🦆                         INTJ: But Sis, we already did biology jokes                         I wanted to mark political jokes                         Make*

INTP : We are all going to hell XD                          😈🔥⚡☄

[wingroad]

I read that Fujimaki interview and have a couple of issues with it too.. I still refuse to acknowledge that the Last Game ending is the canon one. And that because Kagami was the only one who hadn't cried, he "suggested" something to the movie creators?? (I thought he had cried before tho but maybe I remember wrong)

i call bullshit at this reasoning for crying as a ‘epic arc climax’ bc it doesnt follow through. 

the only two that actually fit this are kise and midorima, but Aomine, Murasakibara and Kuroko cry for different reasons and for Aomine and Murasakibara it’s actually a starting point in their arcs which we never got to see. Akashi doesnt cry either? Does this mean his arc isn’t complete? or is he above such things? And Kuroko cries multiple times when he gets overwhelmed by emotion, both positve and negative. 

so. bullshit. 

also if he wanted to make Kagami cry he could make him cry while remembering kuroko during their fated meeting. that would really seal their bond, more than a parting and a promise for a reunion. 

it just feels really shallow? 

even if i kinda know where he’s coming from bc the implied question was what would make kagami cry, and the answer is to be taken away from kuroko, but imo that immedietly should have been a red flag. 

idk i hope the nba money feel good i guess? 

(kagami comes close to tears a few times during the series, but we never see him outright cry)

[kjxngdae]

&&. calling out for @saena &&. from here.

❛ Honestly, oppa, who would want to sleep forever? You’d miss out on so much fun and new technology. What if you woke up surrounded by aliens, only to realise you’re the only human left on earth? ❜ pausing to really ponder the random thought she threw at the older, she’s quick to crack a smile.  ❛ Now, that would be a good movie.. well, one like that probably already exists. Anyways! I’m not a morning person either, but coffee can fix that for you. Did you at least sleep well? I hope you weren’t pestered by some uncomfortable dreams, those often make me question my life once I wake up. One time I dreamed I was a squirrel and my tree was getting cut down, what a nightmare. ❜

“I’d just like to sleep for a little bit more.” A pout then formed upon his lips where he whined, as per usual. He would hate to sleep to sleep forever but never having the opportunity to have a good night of sleep was something he wasn’t keen on. The only thing he wanted was to be able to sleep as much as a human person deserves to sleep. His crankiness got brushed away by the positve and silly thoughts of the female, however, as a smile plastered on his features, wrinkling his eyes some as he couldn’t help but to let out a small laugh before shaking his head some. “I wouldn’t be the last human on Earth for sure... though, I have always wondered if aliens are nice, actually.” He then hummed in thought, looking upwards for a second before shifting his attention towards her, once again. “Tell me about that dream... it’s not every day you dream about being an animal.”

[mysticdragon3md3]

With WonFes 2017 Winter over, it’s time to post the obligatory wishlist!  ^o^

Even though there were a lot of exciting figure announcements and prototype reveals at Wonder Festival 2017 Winter today, I don't feel my wallet is in too much danger.  There were a lot of Nendoroids that looked interesting, but I likely won't buy.  And the figures I ABSOLUTELY POSITVELY HAVE TO PREORDER, were fairly few (at least compared to previous WonFes).  

Below, the squares shaded darkly are figures I likely won't buy.  They caught my eye, but seriously, I'd rather spend my money on other Nendoroids.   The squares clouded in white are figures that if I was forced into a corner, I might be able to give up.  But it'd be nice if I didn't have to.  

Good Smile is going to kill my wallet if they announce more Harvest Moons!  ;u;  If every Crypton Future Media Vocaloid gets a Harvest Moon version, I don’t know what I’m going to do.  Those costumes are just too pretty.  XwX  

I feel like I'm obligated to get Figma Utena and Nendoroids Ed & Al, but I don't feel as strongly about those fandoms anymore, enough to justify the money those figures cost.  On the other hand, I have a rule about not passing up merchandise from an old fandom, for that reason alone.  The last time I passed up a Devil Hunter Yohko artbook, just because it was no longer my all-consuming obsession, I regretted it.  And I kept hunting for it at each succeeding con.  *That* is a regret.  Which is why I bought Figma Hikaru Shidou, even though I haven't been into CLAMP's manga, let alone Magic Knight Rayearth for years.  So when I see Utena, Ed & Al, my nostalgia dictates that I preorder them, even though my current obsessions say that I shouldn't be spending on old fandoms like Utena and FMA.  

I'm not really into these paritcular swords, but I've got a completionist problem.  * I already have Kashuu Kiyomitsu, so I have to get Yamatonokami Yasusada, right?  And Yasusada has a generic hakama!  Before Touken Ranbu Nendoroids, it was so hard to find nice, generic, male wafuku that could go on any character.  Still, even now, though it's gotten easier to get hakama from Tourabu, it's hard to find male kimono or yukata.  So I snatch up any versatile male wafuku wearing Nendoroid, I can find.   * Izuminokami Kanesada isn't really a character I'm particularly attached to, since I'm more a Dategumi fan than a Shinsengumi fan, but I've always liked his character design.  It even managed to make me ignore the long hair, even though I usually don't like that character design on males.  His costume was just elaborate enough, and the color scheme, contrasting between the deep red and intense blues, just really pop.  ^_^   * So that being said, I really shouldn't get Horikawa Kunihiro.  His costume design is closer to modern Western and I'd rather throw my money at wafuku designs.  But damn it, he's got the same intense blue contrasting against dark hair, just like Izuminokami.  ~_~;  That contrasting color scheme---or rather, contrasting intensity or value scale---just work too well on me.  And after seeing Horikawa in the Touken Ranbu Hanamaru anime, I'd feel bad if I split him up from the senpai partner he idolizes.  ~__~!  Anyway, I already preordered his brother (Yamanbagiri Kunihiro), so my completionist itch should be happy about that.  ...Even though the Kunihiro brothers don't seem very close...  x_x   * As for Ookanehira!  You can't trick me into wanting your Nendoroid!  ~w~!  I told myself not to buy any more characters I didn't already know!  (Unless they were exceptionally cute!)  I don't care if your eyes and hair color remind me of one of my main character OCs!  Nor if your seiyuu is Ono Yuki!  You're too full of yourself and I should be spending my money on cuter characters!  Stay back, I say!  Keep your charms away from me!  ~W~!

The Disney Nendoroids are cute and I like those classic "2nd Renaissance" movies, along with Tim Burton, but not enough to get figures.  But if I ran into them at a con or something, really cheap, and there was nothing else I was spending at during a small con, I might go ahead and get them.  Like what happened with Nendoroid Anna.  

I didn't include Nendoroid Yuri, because I already preordered him.  It's strange that I'm certain about getting Nendoroid Victor, even though I'm not as totally obsessed with Yuri on Ice as everyone else seems to be.  But despite YOI not taking over my life, I still do like the characters.  They're sweet!  And I want that ambiance in my display cases!

Karasuno Nendoroids.  No question there.  I just want all my Karasuno starters.  Announcing Yamaguchi and Sawamura together, when there are only 2 more starters on Karasuno, makes me think they'll be announcing them in pairs.  Here's to hoping for some Asahi and Tanaka Nendoroids!  ^o^  And if they decide to make a Nendoroid Ennoshita, I'll consider him.

Japan.  Kiku Honda.  My rule about still collecting for old fandoms, as if they're still my current obsession, applies here.  Except that my Hetalia fandom doesn't feel that long ago.  Probably because I saw Hetalia the World Twinkle at AkibaFest2016.  Let's hope that if we show demand for Japan, USUK will get some Nendoroids too.  *o*!

Nendoroid More Dress-up sets are my favorite Nendoroid more.  The outfits are so nicely generic and versatile, and help put a stop to me buying Nendoroids of characters I have no attachment to, just for their wardrobe.  (I've given Masamune & Yukimura enough wardrobe options already---but I just can't stop!  It's for DateSana!  ;o; )  It’ll be great to put some period era Nendoroids, uniformed characters, and fantasy costumed characters into a modern AU.  Groomsmen for those Nendoroid More wedding sets...Haikyuu boys in formal wear...my KanColle girls as office ladies...  *U*  I could make a cubicle diorama!  O.O  Still waiting for male wafuku Nendoroid More sets, but until then, any Nendoroid More Dress-up sets are always welcome!!!  ^U^

Ice Kirby is so cute and I love blue.  But if I wasn't willing to get original Kirby, with all his cuteness, and I didn't get MetaKnight, despite his cuteness, then I should probably save my money.  I wasn't deluded for a second into buying that robot armor Kirby.  It's on my wishlist because I just like to look at it.  ^^;  I mean, what the heck is that giant, cute thing?!  ^o^

Nendoroid More face cases are cute, but if it comes down to it, those are the first things I cut out of my budget.  After all, I skipped on that Konnosuke faceplate case, and I love Touken Ranbu.  Still, that penguin and fishing bear are ADORABLE.  When I saw the penguine case's announcement last year, I wanted to get it to re-create Chiyo's costume scenes from Azumanga Daioh.  ^u^

I'm not watching Re:Zero, but Emilia is beautiful!  *.*  I have a weakness for pastel hair and her outfit, on top of that, is just so pretty.  Her character design just screams "ingenue" deredere, and that's my favorite type of waifu (alongside kuudere and sometimes dandere).  And if I remember correctly the spoiler I heard once, then she could also be one of my favorite mythological archetypes, the "universal mother goddess".  

I'm not going to buy a Racing Miku.  Let's be honest.  They always look so cool, but they're $80, instead of the usual $50-$60, because they're supposed to support Good Smile's racing team.  But damn, this mint green fairy is cute!  I thought it hurt to pass up the knight themed Racing Miku.  But this is adorable!  ;w;  And I had needed a green female Nendoroid for my rainbow figure photos.  

I was flabbergasted when I saw the Lum Nendoroid and the Rinne Nendoroid.  I thought it might be a hoax, a different figure line from Nendoroid, or maybe even from years ago, long out of print.  But it's actually just one of those Nenodroids made by a different company; Good Smile only does the distribution.  (Like Tomytec's Wixoss Nendoroids.)  So it's not even on Good Smile's WHL4U website, which catalogs all their WonFes announcements.  It might be too easy to not realize when these are even released.  But I absolutely have to support Rumiko Takahashi Nendoroids.  I'm more a Ranma 1/2 fan, than Urusei Yatsura, and I've barely read much Rin-ne.  But if we support these, then maybe Play Future will make some Ranma 1/2, Inuyasha, or Maison Ikkoku Nendoroids.  I would go nutz if Mermaid Saga Nendoroids were ever announced.  

The kimono Nendoroids for Puella Magi Madoka Magica are an absolute buy.  I never thought I wanted more than just Homura and Madoka, but if all the girls are going to get kimono Nendorids, then it's a good time to get the entire Holy Quintet.  ^-^  

Last but not least, Nendoroid More sets for Halloween and Christmas.  I really hope these are Dress-up sets and not just some accessories.  I'm a clay crafter; I can make little accessories on my own.  So these better be full-blown outfits.  Halloween is my favorite holiday and these would just be so useful for holiday figure photos.  I'm really looking forward to more info about these sets.  ^o^    

It was a really great WonFes.  And right on my birthday, it made the best present.  ^u^!  Hopefully, despite this long wishlist, I'll be able to keep things civil with my wallet.  ^^;

[kurtwarren54]

Prepping for FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer)

So many of you have written me DM’s, emails, and left comments asking how we prepped for our Frozen Embryo Transfer (or FET) and I wanted to share with you what I did to prepare. By the time you get to the actual FET, it’s like you can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. I remember going in for my first appointment for to start prep for my second FET and I was literally a ball of emotions and started to hysterically cry to my nurse about the pressure of it working. You have done so much to get to this place if you have been lucky enough to get embryos from your egg retrieval. I wrote about our first failed FET here and one thing I will say is that since this was my second time around, it was easier since I knew some of the “moves.” Easier in terms of, I knew the meds, I knew the process and I knew what I needed to do to get myself in the best possible shape to welcome our little embryo into our lives. So below, I will share what I did to prep for our FET. Please note that it’s so important to come up with a plan with your doctor and that what I share is only what I did and worked for my body based on what I needed. The photos included in this post are a photo of our ACTUAL transfer. This photo marks the beginning of our little miracle baby boy and I will treasure it always.

Supplements and meds I was taking DHEA microionized and CoQ10 were supplements I took (which I bought from wholefoods). These are both longevity supplements that can help to enhance fertility. I don’t know if they made a difference personally, but it’s something I was religious about taking. I also continued to take my prenatal vitamins. Since I don’t love big pills my doctor was able to prescribe me with Vitafol Gummies with Iron. I also took 2000 IU of D3 because of a deficiency. Another supplement that was pretty unique was Trental, which I was taking was for my uterine lining. In previous cycles, I had a hard time getting my lining thick for transfer. My dr wanted to me to be close to 8mm and many times I had a hard time reaching that number and sometimes we didn’t. Something that seemed to help me was also taking Trental to help with bloodflow and to help my uterine lining grow thicker. I did the normal estrogen pills alongside of estrogen patches to also thicken my lining. Unfortunately due to adhesive sensitivities, I had to discontinue use of the patch and stick with the pills orally or vaginally (i know gross! But they absorb better vaginally). I also took 800 iu vitamin E to ensure no fluid build up that would interfere with the transfer. Since sometimes, if you have fluid buildup, it could affect your FET.

Diet I ate a TON of eggs and avocado. I tried to eat as clean as possible but I didn’t force it. If I wanted cupcakes, I had cupcakes. I think it’s all about just making your body feel its best whatever that means for you. I never did the INSANE fertility diets bc they just didn’t work for me. Some of you wrote me about fertility shakes and other diets that really worked for you but again, it wasn’t what my body needed to prepare. We are all SO different and I think the bottom line is to feel like yourself, because sometimes taking such drastic changes from your norm end up stressing you out more than helping. As far as wine, I LOVE my wine, and I wanted to enjoy some before our big transfer. I stuck to no more than 2-3 glasses a week and not all in one sitting. That is what my dr said. Honestly, I think having a glass here and there relaxed me. With this successful FET, my doctor was SHOCKED at how great my lining was. She asked what I did differently this cycle. My answer: RED WINE and lot’s of it. So funny right?! I just stopped all alcohol when I started my progesterone injections. I also decided to cut coffee(even decaf) since I have sensitivities to caffeine. This was a totally personal choice but I wanted to be EXTRA cautious. This is prob the only weird thing I did. I didn’t have decaf coffee again until probably 9 weeks pregnant bc I was paranoid.

Acupuncture I mentioned in all my blogs posts that I did acupuncture for my first egg retrieval and FET but sadly, it didn’t help me get pregnant and stressed me out more. Some people RAVE it helped them get pregnant. So just a suggestion if you are looking for something else to try, a lot of friends loved it. But again, it was not for me and I did NOT do acupuncture for my second FET.

Tips for progesterone injections I always get a lot of questions about how I manage all the injections during IVF. Honestly, my mother to this day is still so shocked and impressed with how many injections I have done to date. It’s not an easy fear to overcome… but honestly these days, needles don’t scare me one bit. But it wasn’t always like that. The progesterone injections are by far the “scariest” of the injectables because the needle is longer (about 1-1.5” long!). Just seeing the needle will make you want to faint. Or at least I wanted to the first day I opened up my box of FET medications. You get bottles of PIO (or Progesterone in Oil) that a pharmacy compounds for you. Mine were compounded in Ethyl Oleate which is apparently the most fluid of the oil compounds. You might also get yours compounded in olive oil or sesame oil. I am allergic to sesame so I had ethyl oleate. The first day of these injections I was freaking out… the needle… how was I going to survive. I read HORROR stories online of how much people hated them which was my first mistake. But in reality, the injection wasn’t the painful part for me. Yes it can be uncomfortable but the injection itself isn’t bad. It is the aftermath of the progesterone getting lump in your butt post injection that was the most painful for me. But I practiced a simple routine to help with the discomfort. I would prop myself up, standing, against our kitchen island. Blake would then use a dart like motion to quickly jab the shot into my butt cheek. He would let me know when it was almost finished (it takes a minute to injection fully because the oil is thick) and then immediately after the injection, he would take a washcloth that had been pre-soaked in hot water and then use that to massage the area of the injection for at least 30 seconds. Massaging the area rigorously helps to distribute the oil and keep it from getting lumpy. After that, I would sit on a heat pad to help also with discomfort and to distribute the oil. I did end up having a sore butt but I think the massage really did help. After the transfer, I refrained from sitting on a heat pad because I was paranoid about the heat. But those are the things I did to help me get through. In the end, the progesterone injections were not as bad as the internet made them out to be but that was my own experience. Hope these tips will help!

Shopping before FET I went to the store and bought lemons/real lemon juice in a bottle for hot water with lemon. Since I wanted to avoid all herbal tea and coffee period, I substituted in hot water with lemon to get lots of warm fluids in my body (because apparently that is great after transfer). You also want to grab all your favorite snacks and stock up on other warm foods like soup to enjoy when you first get home. Stock up on your favorite magazines too since you will be in bed on bed rest. Some people eat a lot of superstitious things but honestly I just ate as well as I could and still indulged in some of my fav treats!

Outfit the day of FET I always lay out my outfit for day of transfer. Loose fitting sweatpants that don’t squeeze the tummy, a tshirt and cozy sweater since it is usually more chilly at the office. My sweater of choice was my vintage Mickey Mouse sweater because it honestly just makes me SO happy. The key is to be comfy and not wear anything too tight fitting.

Pajamas for bedrest I always make sure to do all my laundry and pick out all my favorite cozy pajamas for my bedrest and lay them out so I don’t have to go digging for them when I am supposed to be relaxing. If you really want to treat yourself, order yourself a new “lucky” pair. I love gap body pajamas because they are super soft and really nice loose fitting. I love these two pants in particular because they don’t put any pressure on my stomach and I have worn them through my pregnancy so far.

Movies for bedrest Stock up on some of your fav feel good movies. You want to be HAPPY, CALM (I hate to type that because i literally HATED people telling me to be calm), and just overjoyed excited for little embryo that is getting all cozy inside. So many great things on netflix but if you have that one all time fav rom com that literally makes you happier than anything, do yourself a favor and download it or buy it. You deserve to feel so happy during this bedrest and anything to help will make you feel so good. I tried to stay off my laptop because you don’t want to have that heat on your abdomen after your transfer.

That’s pretty much it! I didn’t do too many crazy things honestly, but there are small simple things you can do to put your mind at ease. The bottom line is you want to be prep for some lazy, guilt-free days of bedrest and keep those positve vibes flowing as the dreaded 2WW (two week wait) begins. That time is one of the longest 2 weeks of your life and starting it with ease and being kind to your body and mind is so important. If you are prepping for a FET, wishing you nothing but zen vibes and fingers, toes, and eyeballs crossed for a successful transfer. Stay strong friends!

If you want to read more about our IVF and infertility journey, below are some links to my other blogposts:

IVF Round #1 // IVF Round #2 // IVF Book Resources

Prep for IVF Egg Retrieval // IVF Round #3

The post Prepping for FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Pesch.

from Wellness http://www.eatsleepwear.com/2018/05/02/prepping-fet-frozen-embryo-transfer/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[elizabethcariasa]

Prepping for FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer)

So many of you have written me DM’s, emails, and left comments asking how we prepped for our Frozen Embryo Transfer (or FET) and I wanted to share with you what I did to prepare. By the time you get to the actual FET, it’s like you can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. I remember going in for my first appointment for to start prep for my second FET and I was literally a ball of emotions and started to hysterically cry to my nurse about the pressure of it working. You have done so much to get to this place if you have been lucky enough to get embryos from your egg retrieval. I wrote about our first failed FET here and one thing I will say is that since this was my second time around, it was easier since I knew some of the “moves.” Easier in terms of, I knew the meds, I knew the process and I knew what I needed to do to get myself in the best possible shape to welcome our little embryo into our lives. So below, I will share what I did to prep for our FET. Please note that it’s so important to come up with a plan with your doctor and that what I share is only what I did and worked for my body based on what I needed. The photos included in this post are a photo of our ACTUAL transfer. This photo marks the beginning of our little miracle baby boy and I will treasure it always.

Supplements and meds I was taking DHEA microionized and CoQ10 were supplements I took (which I bought from wholefoods). These are both longevity supplements that can help to enhance fertility. I don’t know if they made a difference personally, but it’s something I was religious about taking. I also continued to take my prenatal vitamins. Since I don’t love big pills my doctor was able to prescribe me with Vitafol Gummies with Iron. I also took 2000 IU of D3 because of a deficiency. Another supplement that was pretty unique was Trental, which I was taking was for my uterine lining. In previous cycles, I had a hard time getting my lining thick for transfer. My dr wanted to me to be close to 8mm and many times I had a hard time reaching that number and sometimes we didn’t. Something that seemed to help me was also taking Trental to help with bloodflow and to help my uterine lining grow thicker. I did the normal estrogen pills alongside of estrogen patches to also thicken my lining. Unfortunately due to adhesive sensitivities, I had to discontinue use of the patch and stick with the pills orally or vaginally (i know gross! But they absorb better vaginally). I also took 800 iu vitamin E to ensure no fluid build up that would interfere with the transfer. Since sometimes, if you have fluid buildup, it could affect your FET.

Diet I ate a TON of eggs and avocado. I tried to eat as clean as possible but I didn’t force it. If I wanted cupcakes, I had cupcakes. I think it’s all about just making your body feel its best whatever that means for you. I never did the INSANE fertility diets bc they just didn’t work for me. Some of you wrote me about fertility shakes and other diets that really worked for you but again, it wasn’t what my body needed to prepare. We are all SO different and I think the bottom line is to feel like yourself, because sometimes taking such drastic changes from your norm end up stressing you out more than helping. As far as wine, I LOVE my wine, and I wanted to enjoy some before our big transfer. I stuck to no more than 2-3 glasses a week and not all in one sitting. That is what my dr said. Honestly, I think having a glass here and there relaxed me. With this successful FET, my doctor was SHOCKED at how great my lining was. She asked what I did differently this cycle. My answer: RED WINE and lot’s of it. So funny right?! I just stopped all alcohol when I started my progesterone injections. I also decided to cut coffee(even decaf) since I have sensitivities to caffeine. This was a totally personal choice but I wanted to be EXTRA cautious. This is prob the only weird thing I did. I didn’t have decaf coffee again until probably 9 weeks pregnant bc I was paranoid.

Acupuncture I mentioned in all my blogs posts that I did acupuncture for my first egg retrieval and FET but sadly, it didn’t help me get pregnant and stressed me out more. Some people RAVE it helped them get pregnant. So just a suggestion if you are looking for something else to try, a lot of friends loved it. But again, it was not for me and I did NOT do acupuncture for my second FET.

Tips for progesterone injections I always get a lot of questions about how I manage all the injections during IVF. Honestly, my mother to this day is still so shocked and impressed with how many injections I have done to date. It’s not an easy fear to overcome… but honestly these days, needles don’t scare me one bit. But it wasn’t always like that. The progesterone injections are by far the “scariest” of the injectables because the needle is longer (about 1-1.5” long!). Just seeing the needle will make you want to faint. Or at least I wanted to the first day I opened up my box of FET medications. You get bottles of PIO (or Progesterone in Oil) that a pharmacy compounds for you. Mine were compounded in Ethyl Oleate which is apparently the most fluid of the oil compounds. You might also get yours compounded in olive oil or sesame oil. I am allergic to sesame so I had ethyl oleate. The first day of these injections I was freaking out… the needle… how was I going to survive. I read HORROR stories online of how much people hated them which was my first mistake. But in reality, the injection wasn’t the painful part for me. Yes it can be uncomfortable but the injection itself isn’t bad. It is the aftermath of the progesterone getting lump in your butt post injection that was the most painful for me. But I practiced a simple routine to help with the discomfort. I would prop myself up, standing, against our kitchen island. Blake would then use a dart like motion to quickly jab the shot into my butt cheek. He would let me know when it was almost finished (it takes a minute to injection fully because the oil is thick) and then immediately after the injection, he would take a washcloth that had been pre-soaked in hot water and then use that to massage the area of the injection for at least 30 seconds. Massaging the area rigorously helps to distribute the oil and keep it from getting lumpy. After that, I would sit on a heat pad to help also with discomfort and to distribute the oil. I did end up having a sore butt but I think the massage really did help. After the transfer, I refrained from sitting on a heat pad because I was paranoid about the heat. But those are the things I did to help me get through. In the end, the progesterone injections were not as bad as the internet made them out to be but that was my own experience. Hope these tips will help!

Shopping before FET I went to the store and bought lemons/real lemon juice in a bottle for hot water with lemon. Since I wanted to avoid all herbal tea and coffee period, I substituted in hot water with lemon to get lots of warm fluids in my body (because apparently that is great after transfer). You also want to grab all your favorite snacks and stock up on other warm foods like soup to enjoy when you first get home. Stock up on your favorite magazines too since you will be in bed on bed rest. Some people eat a lot of superstitious things but honestly I just ate as well as I could and still indulged in some of my fav treats!

Outfit the day of FET I always lay out my outfit for day of transfer. Loose fitting sweatpants that don’t squeeze the tummy, a tshirt and cozy sweater since it is usually more chilly at the office. My sweater of choice was my vintage Mickey Mouse sweater because it honestly just makes me SO happy. The key is to be comfy and not wear anything too tight fitting.

Pajamas for bedrest I always make sure to do all my laundry and pick out all my favorite cozy pajamas for my bedrest and lay them out so I don’t have to go digging for them when I am supposed to be relaxing. If you really want to treat yourself, order yourself a new “lucky” pair. I love gap body pajamas because they are super soft and really nice loose fitting. I love these two pants in particular because they don’t put any pressure on my stomach and I have worn them through my pregnancy so far.

Movies for bedrest Stock up on some of your fav feel good movies. You want to be HAPPY, CALM (I hate to type that because i literally HATED people telling me to be calm), and just overjoyed excited for little embryo that is getting all cozy inside. So many great things on netflix but if you have that one all time fav rom com that literally makes you happier than anything, do yourself a favor and download it or buy it. You deserve to feel so happy during this bedrest and anything to help will make you feel so good. I tried to stay off my laptop because you don’t want to have that heat on your abdomen after your transfer.

That’s pretty much it! I didn’t do too many crazy things honestly, but there are small simple things you can do to put your mind at ease. The bottom line is you want to be prep for some lazy, guilt-free days of bedrest and keep those positve vibes flowing as the dreaded 2WW (two week wait) begins. That time is one of the longest 2 weeks of your life and starting it with ease and being kind to your body and mind is so important. If you are prepping for a FET, wishing you nothing but zen vibes and fingers, toes, and eyeballs crossed for a successful transfer. Stay strong friends!

If you want to read more about our IVF and infertility journey, below are some links to my other blogposts:

IVF Round #1 // IVF Round #2 // IVF Book Resources

Prep for IVF Egg Retrieval // IVF Round #3

The post Prepping for FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Pesch.

[nimsfreefall]

Lucid dream #1

I had 3 dreams today. I fell asleep in the day time with the sun shining through my window & fell asleep in a positive mood. I didn’t realize what was happening until I realized my mind was awake, yet my body was asleep. 
#1- I saw animals , first a lion that then morphed into an elephant and continued to other images of nature. My dream the morphed to women pole dancing,(not stripping), just dancing. 
I felt my eyes moving under my eye lids. It freaked me out a little bit so I woke up. I enjoyed that dream, but it felt so different. I’m not a religious person, but I thought for a moment the devil may be using these beautiful abstract images to draw me in an keep me asleep so I was a little afraid for a second. Especially since I did have thoughts of suicide yesterday. (I would never do it, but I get down sometimes. I’m dealing, and I have support so no worries.) 
I decided I wanted to try again, but see if it would happen again, so I closed my eyes and began to look for shapes under my eyelids, 
#2- I began to see these dancers begin to roll the bodies into scary shapes similar to what you’d see in the exorcism movie.
I woke up of course, and realized the thing that had changed was my mindset, I became negative & I believe that’s why my dream turned into a nightmare. So I looked out of my window, at the trees , at the birds and read a positve quote on mindfulness, being happy and being in the moment. When I was ready, I closed my eyes, and thought of only beautiful things. 
#3- I was dreaming of embracing my imagination, unfiltered & without boundaries. My boyfriend came into frame and I consciously knew he was not home, but he was there in the moment and I wanted to show him my mind. He were talking and laughing as I let my imagination run wild and we watched and laughed. It was magical. There was a moment that I told him to look up , we were hanging from a parachute, but in my room, I could see the ceiling above. We bursted out laughing, it felt so amazing. 
So amazing I felt a feeling of almost being under the influence of something. I knew he was not there and I knew I was out weed. I haven’t smoked in 2 weeks. I felt a weight in my chest and I pushed myself up, out of my dream and opened my eyes. I felt normal again. It may have only been 20-30 mins later. 
I had an overwhelming feeling of joy, I had about 2 hours until my boyfriend came home, so I wanted more. 
I could go to sleep right away so I turned to my little Lily bear (my cat! ) who was peeking at me from behind the curtain next to my bed, I held he paw, closed my eyes and just focused of playing with her little furry toes, but not disturbing her too much so she wouldn’t pull away. I felt myself transition, I even noticed myself look up bc she pulled away from me tickling her and just held her paw and closed my eyes. 
#4- I was in front of a casino, all white, the staircase sparkled and it had huge water fountains next to it. It was so nice and ritzy. Like Marilyn Monroe times ritzy, women in fur coats, men in suits and Rolls Royce dropping off beautiful people. I’ve had this dream before , but this time I went inside. I walk by more people of this look and I sit down, my legs are crossed, I’m wearing black stocking and black heels. I watch a man next to me, I don’t know what he’s doing because I’m so mesmerized by how beautiful this place is, and how beautiful all of the people are. The man leaves and a woman sits on the other sit of me, she pulls out her wallet, and I can’t help but notice out of the corner of my eye, her wallet it stuffed with $100’s and $50’s. I use only my peripherals if my eyes to peek at what she is doing, she is looking up at a screen, writing down things , sorting her money 2-3 bills at a time. I realize she is gambling. I have never watched someone gamble in my real life so I am genuinely interested in how this works. 
Because I am awake I hear a knock, so I open my eyes. Its my boyfriend at the door. I wish I could have stayed but I’m sure I’ll be back soon.