#the only thing missing was the whole chariot thing at the end. i wanted to see her ride off into the sunset!

[dreamspring]

i saw medea performed live tonight !!!! it was so fun !!!!

[theminecraftbee]

Joel sits awkwardly at a family dinner table that isn’t for him.

It’s nice and all, he reckons, for Impulse’s family to invite him over after he leaves the hospital. Even before—everything—Joel’s family hadn’t really been the “big meal around a big table” type, so he’s getting some new experiences here too. And it’s nice and all, that they want to thank him for his role in finding Skizz.

But like. It’s not like he or Impulse or Skizz could explain how it happened, when asked. “Magic brain ghosts” and “evil butterflies” and “Joel still isn’t certain all of that was real and is trying to pretend it wasn’t” puts a damper on that. Also, adults are kind of shit at talking around the fact Joel’s whole family is dead, so he gets the sense he’s sort of harshing the vibes, you know?

Still. It’s a nice gesture. He guesses. It’s free food at least, which is decent, and as close as Impulse and Skizz are, every time one of Impulse’s family says something stupid, Skizz taps Joel’s leg with his foot or steals a roll or something, and it makes Joel feel…

He’d have been sad if Skizz had died, probably. Like, he wouldn’t know. He didn’t come here to make friends, he came here to get a degree and get out. Also, that’s stupid, because it’s not like Joel would have known he was missing a really awkward congratulatory family dinner in which Skizz kept on trying to sneakily steal beans. Probably would have just moved right on. He’s not… friendly.

But.

They stand outside afterwards, waving by to Impulse, promising to walk together so that neither of them Vanish. They’re quiet.

“Thanks, man. That meant a lot to them,” Skizz says.

“Yeah, well, I can do stupid things for free food,” Joel says.

Skizz laughs. “It was nice having you there, too. Man, they’re even worse with you! It’s like not knowing you means they’re even more awkward about family tragedy.”

“Trust me, most adults are way worse. You should see my social worker,” Joel says.

“Didn’t he ditch you, dude?”

“Haha, yeah, he did,” Joel says.

They stare up at the streetlamps together.

“I was really ready to go for a bit there,” Skizz says. Joel’s hackles raise. Oh no. Emotions. Bad. Go away. “It was like—man, it felt like the whole world was empty. But when you showed up, it’s like I remembered… I’d miss dinners, dude.”

“I have no idea why, that kinda sucked,” Joel says, baffled and sarcastic, because he’s a moron who can’t handle emotional conversations, this is why everyone avoided him at the funeral, stupid.

Skizz breaks out laughing.

“You’re great, man! I’m glad we met. Uh, my place is only a block away, and I won’t go following any stupid butterflies. See you at school?”

“Yeah man. See you,” Joel says—

I am thou.

Thou art I.

Thou hath formed a new bond.

With the power of the Chariot Arcana, you shall build the chains with which to hold on to reality.

RANK 1!

“What the hell?” Joel says, tripping over his feet. “What? What? Where did—what the fuck that wasn’t Pygmalion oh god do I have more than one voice in my head—”

“Dude, are you okay?”

Skizz’s almost frustratingly strong and comforting arms grab Joel.

“Tell me you heard that,” Joel says desperately.

“I—I don’t know what you’re talking about. I could take you back to the hospital—no?”

“I am either crazy or am going to end up in a government lab?” Joel says, voice getting high and squeaky.

“We can ask Mr. Hills about it? He came to talk to me after I woke up in the hospital, apparently he like, knows stuff,” Skizz says.

“I don’t wanna,” Joel says.

“Tough luck, buddy, you just almost fell over and cracked your head open!”

Suddenly, Joel remembers a long-nosed man and a blonde in a very blue boat. He remembers a cryptic conversation about bonds and power and their importance. He takes a deep breath. “Can you cover your ears for a moment?” he says.

“Yeah, sure thing, why—”

Joel, as loudly as he can, screams. He hears several birds fly away. He pants.

“…Joel,” Skizz says.

“Yeah thanks man don’t worry about it let’s never speak of this again I’m sure it’s nothing. I definitely didn’t have a weird dream about this and should go to bed.”

“Yeah, okay, whatever you say,” Skizz says cheerfully before laughing, which Joel continues grumbling about all the way back to his apartment.

[spartanexperience]

Feeling once again weak for the red old man so Areos hc time

- I have a story in my head for how they got familiar the first time! :) I'll make a more detailed post on that when I get the time, but tl;dr, Eos found and saved an unconscious Ares who had been fighting a powerful enemy, and patched up his injuries as he was bleeding Ichor (celestial blood). Bam, Ares was lovestruck. Then, because Eos had broken her wing while saving Ares, Ares did a rare kind and gentlemanly action, and gave Eos a ride on his chariot UuU Both to help her spread morning dew over the lands, and to ride her back home to Olympus where they could get her wing healed.

- Eos was SO flattered and surprised! Most gods did not usually pay attention to her, since she is only a minor goddess whose whole job is to herald the arrival of the day, of Apollo's chariot. So of course she is most of the time overshadowed by his radiance. Besides...she would have never thought that Ares, the terrifying god of war, could be so sweet and considerate to a lady!

- Ares in the meantime, could not stop thinking about Eos for weeks after the incident - her luminous light, her eyes, her cheeky smile, and the way she had saved him and fought a monster for him. Boy was he down baaaaad. However this all is exactly he was awfully shy about talking to her again, and resorted to avoiding Eos for a while like an absolute loser. Until Athena practically YELLED at him to go talk to Eos again LMAO

- Ares is that super showoffy jock boyfriend who is always trying to impress Eos. Be it fighting monsters in front of her, bringing her war trophies, lifting heavy stuff, you name it. He's that meme of "this one's for you baby" *throws a basketball and it misses the basket*

- Eos giggles and flutters her wings while blushing madly, even when he absolutely fails, because he makes her feel so special. She's been so occupied over the years on just being the morning goddess...she had forgotten how it feels to be loved like this.

- Eos loves to impulsively scoop Ares into her arms and fly. Too bad most of the time he wears his heavy armor, so she struggles flapping her wings LOL but whenever he is rarely in a civil wear, like wearing his pajamas, she will absolutely bridal carry him!

- Due to morning dew, Eos' powers are mostly water based. She tends to playfully splash dew at Ares every now and then. If there's water nearby, Ares will answer by splashing back. Cue a chaotic water splashing fight where they both laugh loudly and Poseidon yells "I'M TRYING TO SLEEP"

- Of course, being the goddess of morning, she is great at cooking breakfast. Ares is usually the one out of the couple who insists on cooking for the family. The "healthy military meals", as he says. But when Eos wants to spoil him and her children, they'll be eating the most high quality shakshouka and wine leaf rolls.

- I haven't remembered to mention this, but Eos is AWFULLY clumsy, whether it's dropping stuff off Olympus by accident, or tripping on her own wings. Which gets dangerous whenever she wants to try Ares' weapons LOL

- Remember that scene in Shrek 4 where Shrek and Fiona bond by playfighting with heavy weapons? Yeah that's Areos energy right there

- Ares often calls her "you crazy woman". With the most lovestruck eyes in the world.

- Listening to "Wild Thing" from the end of Strange Magic always makes me think of Areos too bye

- Like I drew earlier, Eos has a whole army of romantic nicknames for Ares, each one sappier than the last. Ever since the other gods on Olympus heard that, they have been mercilessly pranking Ares over it. Once, when Ares arrived to the Olympus court meeting, his name tag on his seat was "BooBoo Bear". Ares broke the table with his fists

- Eos can be clingy. Every time Ares leaves for a battle, a journey to faraway lands on his chariot, Eos either asks if she can come along, or fusses over packing Ares all sorts of food, healing ambrosia, celestial bandages etc. Deep down, Eos is HORRIBLY scared that something bad will happen to Ares. She does not want to lose him like she lost Astraeus and Tithonus :(

- Often, she puts a happy smile on her face so Ares won't be too worried for her, as she does not want to hold Ares back. But sometimes, after Ares is gone, Astraea hears her mom breaking down into sobs in her room.

- Remember that Homeric myth where a bunch of giants managed to trap Ares and imprison him in an amfora for 13 months straight until Hermes finally found and rescued him?

- Yeah, when that happened, Eos ignored her morning goddess duties entirely, to hysterically fly around Greece and search for Ares, causing dawn to never break and for the world to be stuck in a permanent nighttime, as Apollo was unable to ride his sun chariot. When she could not find Ares, she started to fear that he had died... even the cold Boreas stopped being salty at Ares and went to search for him, once he saw the way his dear mother curled up and sobbed and wailed hopelessly, as Astraea hugged her and tried to comfort her.

- Ares in the meantime?? The myth describes him screaming, howling and thrashing endlessly in the amfora. And so he did, causing the Giants to cover their ears like "holy shit we should have kidnapped the god of calmness instead". The only thing bringing Ares comfort in this claustrophobic, merciless long prison, was thinking of his family back at Olympus... Athena, Eos, Fear and Terror, young Harmonia, the wind quadruplets, Astraea...in a rare moment of hopelessness, he'd sob, wanting nothing more than to be free and get back to them.

- Lmao this got horribly angsty BUT as said before, Hermes found and freed Ares!! Accompanied by Boreas, who ruthlessly, mercilessly destroyed the Giants with a devastating, raging cold hurricane. And then he huffed at Ares "shut up I'm just doing this for my mom, NOT for you"

- Needless to say the reunion of Eos and Ares was heartwarming and passionately romantic 💖💖💖 And of course, both Hermes and Boreas got a CRUSHING hug and massive sloppy kisses on their cheeks by Eos. Hermes also got a permanent access to Eos' storage of figs and olives as a thank you.

[a-french-coconut]

Part 4

Michael wakes up in a golden haze.

He's a big room, yellow flowers growing a little everywhere, music instruments linger on the floor with the occasional broken arrow.

Apollo Cabin, Camp Half-Blood.

A window is open, the ray of sunshine passing through hitting him right in the face. Warmth settle over his body, like the light is hugging him.

Welcome home my son

The voice is a barely a whisper, only meant for those whose earring is keen enough to perceive it, only meant for the children of music.

Michael basks in the sunlight, acknowledging his father's embrace. He's still bitter about the whole "I'm alive but you didn't bother looking for me" thing but he can appreciate the effort.

He tentatively stretches, that empousai hit him pretty hard, only to feel great.

A little too much even for his accelerated healing. Either Will is a medical prodigy or his father really wants to be forgiven.

His eyes wander to the nightstand and he freezes.

On the little table is a bow, smaller than the standard size, specifically built for one person only.

The last time he hold his bow, he was falling off a bridge in Manhattan.

His siblings must have found it in the middle of the wreckage and brought it back.

He carefully takes the weapon, the wood fitting perfectly in his palms. At the very end of the it, there's a little engravure, a M and Y etched in the surface.

It's another part of him coming back, this bow holding so much memories.

Lee taking him to Beckendorf because the other bows were too big for him.

Hours after hours in the archery fields, hands bleeding red from shooting countless arrows until every one of them were perfect.

Enflaming the Ares Cabin from the flying chariot, Clarisse promising to skewer him.

Where was Clarisse now ?

Two years are a long time for a demigod, that insufferable war-addict could be in college or ashes scattered in the wind for all he knows.

He hopes it’s the former, he might have despised her but there is only one demigod Michael has ever wish died and that is not Clarisse. That title is reserved for Luke Castellan.

Now that’s someone Michael really wants to be dead. If he’s not, if he’s miraculously still alive…

Michael smiles, he does need a subject test to see if his aim is still top notch.

Light footsteps interrupts his murderous thoughts, followed by the sound of shoes hitting a wall.

"Ugh, finally ! Gods, why did I choose to wear baskets ? It sucks."

Will's distaste for any kind of footwear covering his toes, Michael can work with. It's a familiar ground, one he can travel on without stumbling. Maybe the only thing left from what he knew.

Will is fifteen now, a far cry from the thirteen year old boy he left.

Does he still like Star Wars as much as he used to ?

Does he still smile with all his teeth despite witnessing the slaughter of Williamsburg Bridge, leaving him in charge in horrible conditions ?

Lee, I failed him, I failed you.

Lee, who had been adamant that he would be a great older brother.

Lee, whose bed across Micheal's has been left untouched by his new siblings.

Does he have new siblings ? Or is it just Will, Kayla and Austin ?

Two fucking years

He's out of his depths. Why did he even thought of coming back ?

They managed fine without him, yet here he is, wrecking Will's world once again.

Even more, Micheal's eighteen. He's still reeling about getting compared to a twelve years old but that's not the point.

The point is that all the demigods he knew are either long dead or in college.

Annabeth, Percy, Travis, Clarisse, Chris, everyone is too old for camp, just as him.

Camp is a place for demigods to learn their capacities in order to survive in the mortal world. The cabins were not made to house demigods entering adulthood.

He tries desperately to hold his tears off, why would it matter to leave Camp ? He already left it a long time ago.

Because it's home, because it's familiar, because Michael missed Camp so fucking much.

Despite his best efforts, tears soak the sheets, his heavy breathing echoing in the cabin.

"Michael ! You're awake !", shoots gleefully Will, now in his beloved flip flops, before noticing the tears, "Are you okay ? Are you still hurt ? I triple checked before letting you go of the infirmary but maybe I missed something ?"

Michael furiously rubs his eyes, already red and puffy.

"I'm fine, thanks to you actually. Your healing really got better after I-", he wavers, "disappeared."

Will's joy diminishes drastically.

"Yeah, well hum, I got a lot of practice with the wars you know..."

His mind stops dead on its track.

Wars

"What do you mean wars ?"

Will winces, "A lot happened since you die-, disappeared I mean. Sorry, force of habit.",his young brother chuckles nervously, "But yeah you kinda missed a war."

He missed a war. He left Will with blood and monsters while he was doing tea parties with the other orphans.

"And dad got turned mortal... but he's a god again now !"

Michael's brain is going to go overdrive if Will lets out another bomb.

"Oh, I almsot forgot ! I'm dating Nico, you remember him ?"

"The son of Hades ?"

"Don't say that with such a tone ! He's a sweetheart, a little grumpy one very prone on conjuring skeletons, but nobody's perfect. Although in my very unbiased opinion, he's getting closer every day..."

As he watches Will rambles about Nico, Michael is relieved to see that some things really don't change.

Will's smile has remained the beautiful, pure, wide smile of his memories.

[quietgalcoasterss]

My Top 5 (End of 2023)

Hi yall! Sorry for how long it’s been. Thanksgiving left me exhausted, and then all of a sudden I was coming back to college for finals weeks. I almost finished this a week ago, but then I just forget to add the last section. Anyway, as the end of the year approaches and seasonal parks close their doors, I figure this is an appropriate time to share my current top 5 coasters. So far, I’ve visited 3 major theme parks in the US as of recently: Six Flags Great Adventure, Kings Dominion and Busch Gardens Williamsburg. I’ve also visited Disney World and Universal Orlando, but those were back when I was 11 or so, and so I hardly remember any rides I might’ve gone on. So while this will change over the years, and I’ll eventually have enough credits to where I can start listing my top 10, 15 and even 20, here be my current top 5 :>

For context, I base my rankings off of two factors:

1. How much I want to re-ride it right now.

2. How long I’m laughing after I’ve gotten off. If I’m still chuckling by the time I’m back at the entrance, it’s a winner.

5. Kingda Ka, Six Flags Great Adventure

It won’t shock you to know that Kingda Ka was, at one point, the scariest coaster I’ve ever been on. How long did it hold that title? Like 2 hours until I rode it for a second time, after which I knew for a fact my coaster fear was all but buried. Despite that, I’m pretty certain that no matter how often I ride it in the future, sitting on the launch track will still give me butterflies in my stomach.

But god, that launch is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. Hell, for like 2 weeks after my second Great Adventure visit this past summer, I scoured Youtube for a pov/off-ride video that would hit the exact same mark as actually riding Kingda Ka. I never found one that got even close :(. I also never got to ride OG Top Thrill Dragster or any other Intamin hydraulic launch coaster (Storm Runner looks so good…), but god you mean to tell me there’s multiple of these??? Even though I’ve ridden longer rides, as well as ones that I wish I could ride right now even more, that does NOT mean Kingda Ka does not deserve love. All my homies love Kingda Ka.

4. Nitro, Six Flags Great Adventure

Nitro was my first ever B&M (Bolliger and Mabillard) hyper coaster (ride that exceeds 200 feet). And although the only other one I’ve ridden is Apollo’s Chariot, I do NOT understand why thoosies say this thing is mid. Sure the paint scheme is on the uglier side, but that makes it unique. And like, this thing isn’t the ugliest thing in the world. I don’t even know how you could make a coaster ugly.

This thing is floater airtime and speed galore. Next time I’m at Great Adventure, I’m trying out both front and back row to see how it lives up. I always put my hands up on Nitro cuz like, why wouldn’t you? Only part that’s a sharp change is the helix as the trains return to the station. That thing is fast and tight: I grey out every time I go through it. Not saying it’s bad at all, just a wild element lol.

3. Pantheon, Busch Gardens Williamsburg

Pantheon is my first ever ride to feature a vertical spike. And oh my GOD did it have me laughing like a mad lass. This thing is such a treat from start to finish. I have a whole other story to share about this coaster and waiting in queue, but that’s for another time.

What Pantheon does super well is consistency between its elements. From the first launch to missing the top hat to the spike to the hangtime, this thing does NOT quit (until the brake run of course). Some people say this is a mix between Maverick and Velocicoaster, and from the pov’s I’ve watched, I can see where they’re coming from. I’m planning on riding Maverick next summer, and I don’t know when I’ll be able to go to Islands of Adventure. But until then, Pantheon my beloved.

2. Intimidator 305, Kings Dominion

I love you I-305. I love you so damn much. This monstrosity was my first ever giga coaster (ride that exceeds 300 feet), and oh my GOD is it heavenly. I need to make it clear that this thing is not for the faint of heart. It is fast, whippy and unrelenting. But in a loving way :D.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to not grey out on the right back after the drop. But lemme tell ya, greying out is awesome. I understand why some people dislike it and tend to avoid re-riding anything that does it to em. But me? I love the feeling. If anything I wanna immediately re-ride it if I feel my vision going. I’m weird and gay like that. Some people also say that this is the anti-Millennium Force: while Millennium does airtime galore, I-305 does speed and lateral’s galore. I’ll be the judge of that when I hopefully go to Cedar Point soonish, but for now, Intimidator 305 sits comfortably in my number 2.

1. El Toro, Six Flags Great Adventure

You knew this was coming. El Toro was my first wooden coaster, my first non-family coaster, my first big Intamin, my first blog here and it’s in my pfp \o/. I’m so glad that Six Flags has been genuinely caring for this monstrosity after all these years. Even with the recent incidents, they haven’t given up on it. And I’m so grateful for that, I can’t imagine Great Adventure without this.

There’s still many woodie’s that I need to ride. The Beast at Kings Island and The Voyage at Holiday World are both really high on my list. But as of right now I ain’t going out to Indiana just to ride a big woodie (and also Firebird, that looks sick). To be brutally honest, the only other woodie I’ve actually ridden as of today is The Grizzly at Kings Dominion. And it’s a solid woodie, don’t get me wrong. But it just ain’t the Bull.

Some people dislike El Toro for how rough it’s apparently become over the years. And while that’s understandable, I love a woodie that’s rough. It gives a bite to it, like it’s out of control. That’s what woodies specialize in over steel’s: they’re out of control. From this thing’s ejector airtime, to the speed, to the tight banks to the Rolling Thunder Hill, El Toro will never leave my heart. It’s no wonder I spent 30 bucks on a t-shirt and keychain on my most recent visit. I’m a capitalist slave to the Bull.

[dootznbootz]

I finished Medea by Euripides and there are 2 thoughts:

I think she fits the song "The Ballad of Sara Berry" very well. The whole "You're having an awful time but holy shit, you killed HOW many people???" (Sara definitely had less to worry about as it was just "Prom" but the vibes.)

And I can't get over the fact that she's riding away on the chariot with their DEAD CHILDREN, and then it's just a BACK AND FORTH OF THEM FIGHTING. I was expecting like one long lament from either Jason or Medea for the ending, not them doing a "No, U" contest on who actually is responsible for killing their kids. LIKE AREN'T YOU TRYING TO LEAVE, MEDEA?? ARE YOU FADING OFF IN THE DISTANCE LIKE "TEAM ROCKET BLASTING OFF AGAIN"? ARE YOU JUST CIRCLING JASON???

IS SHE DRIFTING THIS CHARIOT IN THE SKY AROUND THIS MAN WITH HER DEAD KIDS JUST TO YELL AT HIM??

I know it's the point of the story of it being a tragedy, but the fact that her hate is more powerful than her love for her kids just HITS. Like your kids are your only family left now! I mean her taking revenge on Jason makes sense, especially since it's a Greek Tragedy and how "you get your just desserts" and how "You are your own downfall" but holy shit your KIDS?

I know both have their reasons for why they do the things they did. Him thinking it'll ensure their sons' futures somehow??? like you're still basically being like "See you in a decade kids! I'm CHOOSING TO NOT SEE YOU! It's not like I'm getting drafted or kidnapped!" And her for being betrayed after all she did for him but kajlsdfklsjfd NEITHER OF THESE PEOPLE TRULY CARE ABOUT THEIR KIDS WITH AFFECTION! It was still financial for Jason but holy shit you wanna miss both your boys' first hunt? You don't want to be the one to teach them things? ksdljafksdlf These poor innocent boys! They weren't even given names!!! They were LITTLE boys!

[callmearcturus]

i am sick as fucking hell today so here's my ranking of S-Links so far

caveats: Aigis STILL hasn't fucking unlocked, i'm only halfway thru mitsuru's, and one-third thru yukari's.

Best to Worst:

The Magician, Junpei: I am still flabbergasted at how fucking good his arc is. The fact that in the penultimate slink scene he recognizes the specific way he's been disrespectful to you and meaningfully apologizes for it is not remotely what I expected out of him. Also I somehow got spoiled very early that he wasn't a romance option, and (I can't believe I'm making this comparison) just like Dorian in Dragon Age: Inquisition, it made it feel fun and safe to play-flirt and joke with him, safe in the knowledge it wouldn't go awry. Junpei is my fucking bro, my ride or die.

The Star, Akihiko: Predictable since I am currently evaluating his entire romance against my other favorite romances in video games (I don't think he beats Garrus and The Transistor, but he's top five). Slowly unraveling this boy is delightful, and honestly the way he turns as you get to know him better is very marked and obvious. He goes from relying on his one hyperfixation to communicate, to opening up and sometimes being genuinely so fucking smooth and romantic, it threw me for a loop. Least neurotypical person in the cast.

The Hermit, Saori: From the moment she said a Bad Word I was in love. I like how... careful you have to be with her, how she is very aware of her faults, of the fact she's a doormat, and the reasons she has become that way. Saying goodbye to her was genuinely very fucking sad and I miss her. Would dump Akihiko for her if I could. (Tho even more I want them to meet, could you IMAGINE.)

The Priestess, Fuuka: I love this girl so fucking much. The steel core of her underneath of the self-doubt is wonderful to see. Also the specific way she sucks at cooking and almost locks up from the failure tracks as very real. It does suck to rope someone else into helping you with something and then seeing how good that person is at the thing. Also her slink is so close to a romance, I'm mad about it. LEMME DATE HER.

The Moon, Shinjiro: Ah, the urge to help people vs the urge to be a bitch. Who can't relate to that. Especially given the inevitable end of his arc, the specific way Shinjiro is trying to keep people from relying on him or expecting anything from him... hitting facefirst into the wall of how goddamn fucking reliable he is, it's great. Glad I maxed this one out.

The Tower, Mutatsu: I really like that you're basically therapizing this old monk just by.... being a mirror to reflect his questions back at him. You do very little to help him honestly, you just exist nearby and thus inspire him to challenge himself and better himself. He just needed someone to talk to! Also its funny to imagine FemPC just hanging out in his booth for a few weeks. What a duo.

The Sun, Akinari: Did NOT like this one at first, but wow the actual final thought of it, the idea that.... death is inevitable, and you will never know your purpose, and you will never see your purpose, but you do have purpose. That was surprisingly affecting. Also WAS HE A GHOST THE WHOLE TIME? WHAT WAS WITH THAT? Wacky.

The Chariot, Rio: Oh Rio, I wish I could rank you higher, girl. I really like Rio and think she's actually an incredible example of the Chariot, but in the way I enjoyed being careful with Saori, there were times I wanted to smack Rio upside the head. Because she's making progress, she's getting there, but it's almost entirely without you. You're there to support her and that's great but you cannot fucking challenge her at all ever or she'll get upset. Just frustrating.

The Devil, Tanaka: This one was so fucking weird but enjoyable? But there's no depth here. It's just weird and fun!

Strength, Koromaru: I'm not a dog person but this is a good dog. Also while I didn't vibe with the plot around Koromaru, the way he incited conversation with other characters was great.

Justice, Ken: I'm about... 4 or 5 into this one? And the point seems to be "ah, the trauma of growing up too fast." Which yep. That's a thing. Wish this slink wasn't like pulling teeth.

The Emperor, Hidetoshi: I'm bored to tears and I'm never gonna finish this one. Hidetoshi is a tool, I'm not interested.

The Hierophant, the Old Couple: this one is straight up poorly written. It's just so fucking poorly written I don't know if something went seriously awry in localization or if it was just that bad. I maxed it out and I regret it.

The Hanged Man, Maiko: HEY YO WHAT WAS UP WITH HER DAD HITTING HER AND THE "BEST" OPTION BEING "That's mean!" OH BITCH IS IT MEAN TO HIT A CHILD? OH DANG I HAD NO IDEA.

Temperance, Bebe: The degree to which I failed out of this slink cannot be overstated. When Bebe calls me, I turn him down every time even if I have NOTHING else to do that day. This slink feels offensive to like five different groups of people. Nope. Not doing it. Bye.

I thiiiiiiink that's all the ones I have an opinion on. /jazzhands

Say What About:

Yukari: I bounced off her early because she gave me huge Best Friend Who Quietly Hates You vibes. She gets great development in the main story tho so I'm working on hers.

Aigis: Hasn't unlocked.

Mitsuru: IT TOOK ME UNTIL FUCKING, WHAT, NOVEMBER TO GRIND ACADEMICS? OH MY GODDDDD the stat threshold for her is literally just to fucking high.

Ryoji: Gave me the creeps so I fully skipped everything after the mandatory unlock!!!! Don't like him!

[waltzshouldbewriting]

Ash - WHG 20

As Ash laid in a pit, staring up at the sky and breathing in some kind of chemical sedative, she couldn’t help but wonder what she had done to end up there.

It was a stupid position to be in. She was still alive - of course she was - but a cannon had gone off, so someone thought she was dead. Or they wanted others to think she was dead? It was too early to tell.

What did they want with her anyways? Ash hadn’t done anything obviously illegal. She wasn’t a rebel.

It probably wasn’t even her doing.

If anything, it was his fault.

Ash met him at six years old.

Blaze was ten, the youngest in a wealthy family that lived near the square. Ash, an orphan, would normally have never run into him. But that day they met, she had thrown a tantrum that had gotten his attention.

And it all happened from them.

Blaze was an angry boy, but he was scared of the peacekeepers and didn’t want to get his hands dirty. Ash was angry, too, and was willing to do anything to act out. So Blaze told her, he’d cover for her if she helped him.

So that’s what they did.

They helped each other out.

Ash broke things and destroyed things and Blaze helped her not get caught. And it worked, and it worked well.

Until it didn’t.

.

Ash changed her name that day. It seemed poetic - she was what remained after a fire. After a Blaze.

Ash. Burnt through and abandoned.

It was hard, figuring things out after that. Ash spent some time in the junkyard - the giant pile of trash where District 6 put all the used vehicles. Gangs roamed the junkyard. One of them taught Ash to fight.

And once she learned how to fight, things started to get easier.

But as things got easier, Ash got older. And that increased her chances of being reaped.

At eighteen, it had finally happened.

.

Crystal was the first, and only, person to visit Ash.

They had only been friends for barely a year, but that year had brought them close.

Ash hugger Crystal, hard.

No advice was given - Ash could survive fine. Better than Crystal could.

“I’m going to miss you,” Crystal said, wiping tears from her cheeks.

“I’ll be back before you know it,” Ash replied. “I promise.”

Crystal nodded. “Just. Stay safe.”

.

The first couple of days were pretty bland.

Ash didn’t care about the chariots. She didn’t need to train, either. When the scoring happened, she easily achieved an eight. She didn’t talk to the other tributes and barely spoke to the trainers.

But the interview was a whole different ballgame.

Ash wasn’t social. She didn’t like to talk to people for the sake of talking. And she was horrible in a dress and heels.

Thankfully, the heels were low enough that she could survive the walk onto the stage. The dress wasn’t that bad, either - just a solid black evening gown with frill spiraling down the skirt.

She still hated it.

The interviewer gave her a fake smile and welcomed her to the stage. Ash just nodded.

“What did it feel like when you heard your name called?”

“How do you feel about your eight?”

“Are there any boys waiting for you back home?”

Ash gritted her teeth and forced herself to smile and tried to sound like a normal person.

She probably didn’t win any sponsors.

.

The bloodbath came.

Ash had to fight for a bag of supplies, but she won. Even without her weapon of choice, she was dangerous.

That first day, she hunted and kept her distance. She ran into another tribute on day two, but managed to escape. That night was the first time she had to talk to another tribute, when hiding from acid rain.

Day three, she ended up taking shelter with a different tribute, watching as a fire raged in the arena.

Fire. It reminded her of Blaze.

Someone sent her a hatchet. Ash didn’t know who - that wasn’t her preferred weapon - but it was useful for firewood.

An explosion took out her hearing. It was healed by morning.

And then she fell into a pit.

And a canon went off.

[tea-cat-arts]

Where would you rank every battlesuit of kiana,mei and bronya in terms of design?

Seen your recent post and thought of saying this

(That’s a lot of designs, so I’m not gonna do in depth commentary on each individual design here. If you have questions on certain ones rankings, I can elaborate elsewhere. Also, every design within the same tier is the same level of good. I’m not trying to say one design is better than the other if it’s placed higher up on the S tier segment than other)

Disclaimer: I’m trying my best to be objective here, but this is art so personal biases will come into play. I’m not trying to force anyone else’s opinion on this matter, just sharing my thoughts

S (fantastic, wouldn’t change a thing)-

Void drifter (combines elements of both her mother figures with Elements of HoV while still keeping signature elements of Kiana’s designs)

HoV (truly looks like a pissed off goddess ready to kick ass. Set the standard for Herrscher designs)

HoF (already explained this one elsewhere)

HoT (ok, we all already know this design is amazing. I don’t feel the need to explain this one)

Orochi Cuirass (takes the silhouette of Danzai Spectramancer, and refines/streamlines it. The different textures on the blacks help them stay separated. Little splashes of gold keep this design from feeling to flat)

Haxxor Bunny (Bronie was out here doing the cyberpunk edge runners look before edge runners was even a thing. The dot texture makes her feel like she walked straight out of a comic book)

HoR (she looks like the tech queen she is. All the frills help give her a much bigger/grander appearance)

A (good design, could be great with minor changes)

Valkyrie Ranger (very solid starting out design, very little lore relevance)

Prodigal Girl (takes what works with White Comet and makes it scrappier. Feels very true to Kiana’s personality)

Striker Fulminata (if they made the shirt a little longer or given her shorts or tights, I think this would’ve been an excellent starter design for Mei. Looks soft and comfy while still being combat ready)

Drive Kometa (takes the mech elements of Yamabuki armor, puts them into Bronya’s usual silhouette, and puts her in a much more complimentary color)

Silverwing N-EX (Bronya’s literally just living her best life here and I love that for her. Brings her into the APHO aesthetic while keeping bits and pieces of her mech and Angel aesthetics)

B (overall good, but has one minor thing that just isn’t working)

White Comet (solid starting out design, looks kinda like a wet suit ngl)

Knight Moonbeam (looks like a refined version of divine prayer. Feels almost like the type of Valkyrie Kiana was trying to be at the beginning of the story. Personally would’ve liked more color though)

Wolf’s Dawn (solid starter design. I miss the mech legs)

Snowy Sniper (wouldn’t be my first choice in snow gear, but it’s alright. Wish they gave her a bulkier jacket and scarf)

HoTr (oof I want to rank this higher since it’s an excellent evolution of HoR, but it just doesn’t work as part of the trio. Lacks Mei’s purple and Kiana’s orange)

Dimension Breaker (looks more like a snowy sniper skin than a whole new design.

C (overall good, but has one major thing that just isn’t working)

Red Lictor/Radiant Blaze (Void drifter but with more white and only 3 colors. Very flat tone wise)

Crimson Impulse (the first and thankfully last time we see Mei in pink. They added armor in places it just shouldn’t be and it ends up making the design look clunky. Revealing outfit is weird given Mei’s more modest personality at this point in the story)

Danzai Spectranancer (combat jorts. It’s just a lot of overlapping patterns in textures without really intention behind them)

Valkyrie Bladestrike (same color palette problem as Shadow Dash. There’s a lot of unnecessary gaps in the clothes, and the stiff, revealing design doesn’t make sense for her personality)

Valkyrie Chariot (would be ranked higher if it wasn’t for the panty shots. That’s literally my only gripe with this design. Just put her in tights)

Black Nucleus (man, early Honkai really was determined to show us as much Bronya ass as physical possible. I think they should’ve gone with a color other than red)

D (ya, this just isn’t working)

HoFi (already explained this one elsewhere)

Divine Prayer (why nun? Flat tone wise. Never seen a nun outfit turned into shorts before and after this, I never want to again)

Lightning Empress (Mihoyo, get out of here with the revealing school uniforms. Isn’t this supposed to be her Herrscher persona??? She’s not threatening in the slightest)

Shadow Dash (it’s just too much stuff. Having Mei in so much red and black so early in the story muddies the thematic intentions with HoT’s color palette)

Yamabuki Armor (get that 16 y/o’s ass off my screen Mihoyo. Unnecessarily revealing and yellow just isn’t a good main color on Bronya)

F (this is just blatantly a bad design)

HoO (explained this one elsewhere)

Overall thoughts: other than how weirdly sexualized Bronya was early on, I think she’s the most consistent in terms of having good designs, and Kiana is just overall very solid. I feel like the writers just didn’t know what to do with Mei early on, and that ended up getting reflected in her designs, but once they hit their stride they took off sprinting and fell flat on their faces in the end with HoO

[alyjojo]

August 👨🏽‍🏫 2023 Monthly - Aquarius

Whole of your energy: Judgement

Something is going on with your family, I don’t get that it’s you. Somehow you’re removed from this situation, and you feel helpless to do anything about it. It looks like your solution is giving people space, giving things time, but that may be something that’s later used against you. If it’s a tight-knit group, you could be coming off as insensitive or uncaring. This could apply to many things, but Death signals an ending, travels are here too, and 10 Swords show this being a painful or emotional sort of situation. It’s not your area of expertise that’s for sure, and 8 Swords may be showing that because of that, you’re avoiding facing the situation entirely. Demon Red Rainbow has your issues showing up as your enemy, it’s probably your natural detachment and avoidance. You’re unsure how much you want to get involved, so you don’t. Aquarius avoids emotional scenes like the plague if they can help it, not because they don’t have emotions, but because they don’t like feeling them openly, or don’t know what they can do to fix it, it’s like there is no purpose for you if you can’t fix it or DO something about it. You can only move on or move away from it, which is what you’re deciding to do. For some this may be something from the past repeating and you’re just accepting it and moving on.

What’s going on in August:

Death:

There is an ending occurring somewhere that you’re likely not even available to see, you could be traveling when this happens, or this is regarding someone at a distance from you - emotionally or literally. Someone may be transferring or moving away, and you’re not around for that due to scheduling or whatever. It’s always possible an ex tries to resurface during a Venus retrograde (especially for you, being in Leo), or some past situation you’ve already moved on or moved away from with The Chariot. It’s like your current life, goals, ambitions, something is moving the polar opposite direction from whatever this is trying to pull you back. If it’s love, it’s unrequited. If it’s some past situation, it’s a missed opportunity. You’ve pretty much washed your hands of the issue, and someone else may be trying to hold you accountable for that. If you’re missing a painful or tender sort of moment with the family, they’re feeling disconnected from your heart and could feel like you don’t care. 50/50 whether you actually do or not, some of you may be extremely distant and not even know the depth of this situation that you’re not in. Some of you could feel that way about them.

8 Pentacles:

This is where your energy goes, your work. Knight of Pentacles clarifies as daily application to grinding and putting in the effort towards the things you can tangibly see, feel, touch, effect and change. You can’t fix broken hearts, but you can craft a pentacle and then another and hopefully get somewhere with that. If you’ve felt hurt or betrayed by something, you focus on work. If there are endings around you and the world is burning down, you’re focused on work. It’s the responsible thing to do and for you it’s also kinda looking like a coping mechanism, and an excuse to tell others why you’re not around, or don’t want to be (at least sometimes). Usually, you probably are actually busy and working. This gives off heavy Cap/earthy vibes, you could have that in your chart, or circumstances could be forcing you to grind during a time where you’re expected to grieve. It’s possible this situation is regarding work, people around you that you get on well with may be forced to leave, or relocate, for some reason. I don’t see it being you though.

2 Wands rev:

This is an energy of “playing it safe”, you’ve dodged the bullet in this situation or somehow avoided the worst of what’s going on. You seem to realize you could’ve been targeted, could have done more to speak up and say something about what’s going on…even if it’s just being kind, or popping off about how things “should’ve” gone, with little substance because it’s out of your hands. Especially at work. But you don’t. What’s the point? You’re inspired and feel secure that you haven’t been brought down with this disaster, it’s also possible you’re completely oblivious to a disaster at all, because you’ve been working! I see people upset with you, but it must be telepathy because no one is actually saying anything and you’re over here just living your life, clueless as to what is even going on. If people are leaving your work environment, you seem happy about it, and could even be receiving a boost to your income with 9 Pentacles. Mo’ money mo’ money, sorry Bob from Sales, idk you. Be careful, others seem to be judging you for something or other regarding this. Idk why.

5 Cups rev:

Doesn’t matter though, because you’re over it. Especially for the stories where this is a past event, you’re like huh, what, when? Doesn’t even register. You consider whether you can work with others or not, and 10 Wands along with your Burden Oracle show the heaviest burden being you having no idea what’s gone on beneath the surface, feeling disconnected from others in powerful moments or losses has lead to a complete disconnect from them. Or you, if you’re the one that’s experienced this lack of care or knowing with others. Either is likely. It’s like you go back and forth whether you and others are on the same page, you’re not, and you have to make decisions from a detached place, but there’s no depth to that decision because you don’t really know. Good lord, this is annoying 😆 No one is being vulnerable, no one is speaking, there’s no clarity, the burden is The Moon. No shit right? The burden is always The Moon. Confusion, what’s hidden, what you can’t see, even my head hurts with this energy. You just can’t change something, have accepted this, and moved on. What else are people expecting…idk.

7 Wands:

It’s possible someone’s going to hold you accountable for your actions, and you’re going to have to defend your position. 7 Wands wouldn’t be here if you didn’t feel like you were doing the right thing, holding back from your family is what’s being shown as the issue. Spending a lot of time at work, traveling perhaps, your absence has been felt by someone, whether they’re near to you or far away. It’s a fine line dealing with an Aquarius, part of this feels like others can’t understand you (common issue for you), and the other part of this feels like you’ve made very little effort to try to make them understand. You’re not speaking either. Whether you’re giving excuses or standing your ground, you’re being held to something and expected to do more, care more, try harder, show up? With family, it’s a loyalty thing, and they could be the ones defensive with you. Or that’s all switched. With your color cards, you’re definitely headed in another direction, and may be having to stand up for yourself in regards to this decision. But you’re gonna do it anyway 💯

Signs you may be dealing with:

Gemini, Leo, Capricorn, Virgo, Scorpio & Cancer

Oracles: ✨

78 Recharge

When the pace of life becomes too hectic, know to slow down, be mindful, and go with the flow.

17 Flash

A creative flash of inspiration will come to you and quickly give you the perfect solution.

40 Resurrection

Reconsider a project or recall a person from the past to resurrect an idea.

10 Burden ��

Many times we take on the stress of those we love and care for. We see it as the ultimate sacrifice. We take on others’ burden to save them the trouble or heartache. Ironically, the way energy and the universe work makes this a very counterproductive way of operating. When we take on the burdens of others, we deny them the ability to learn and grow from their own lessons. We also interfere with divine planning and timing. Never one to be thwarted - any lessons circumvented will absolutely reappear - sometimes with much more force than what was originally intended.

Ask yourself if you or another is taking on troubles and lessons not belonging to them out of a need to be needed. This stems from the fear that you (or they) are fundamentally not enough. This is not true, you are created perfect. Your fears and doubts keep you separated from this truth. This is the separation one can feel from Spirit. Once you accept and believe you are perfect and worthy, the tendency to make yourself invaluable to others through your help and assistance will go away. Your relationships can then be based on truth and not manipulation.

We enter into August as:

Demon Red Rainbow 👹

“The greatest adversary is the one living inside of me.”

If the Demon Red Rainbow speaks to you, it is an indication that you are starting to (or will) forge ahead on the path you have chosen. You are correct in thinking that this path is important. Demon Red Rainbow denotes miraculous changes which lay ahead but not without your dogged determination. If you are facing a hill that appears insurmountable, this card reminds us that most true adversaries are the ones inside of us. Life always turns for the better when we face our demons.

You are not to abandon your focus no matter what comes up. The direct route may be the best way to the other side of your fear. There is a crucial lesson here for us all. Know that Spirit always provides an ally when we face the Demon Red Rainbow. It will be clear to you who they are. You need not face anything alone. Spirit has chosen a very powerful lesson for you so that you may teach others what you have learned. A gift of this kind is never given without our ability to use it.

What is to be learned in August:

The Lilac Key 🔑

“The last thing out of Pandora’s Box was hope.”

Change is coming. It is imminent and cannot be avoided. The desire to run from this situation is tempting. However this is a necessary challenge for you. You are going through the labor pains of birth. This may indicate a painful divorce or partnership ending bitterly. In all situations it represents a death of an old way of living, thinking, and surviving. Lilac Key appears when mere survival is not enough for you. Your will to live is what is forcing the change. It is a change of consciousness, which in turn will lead to a balance of harmony in all areas of your life. Cleaning up the past is a process that is often painful; yet hope and joy are the after effects. Remember, once the key has been used to open the door, once you have entered this new consciousness, you cannot go back. You will be left with a new way of living, one without keys - for where you are heading there is no need for locks 🔒

Purple may be a lucky color 💜

[solardick]

So playign with the new script. And at haphazard i have this. Some im secure about others im not.

Some order will change. Preliminary, intuitive, brainstorm. Some cards may be added with some lever of confidence. Letter B(Бб) will most definitely change. The pope, the empress, the star(s) the moon, and maybe one for the sun will be added. Not sure if the sun will represent the peak of summer fun. Perhaps more along the lines of работе and discipline. Having the star as venus. Doesn’t really fit. It’s seen all over anyway. It’s more as a nation of individuals. Outside of the self. Each star being ots own seperate sun in the sky. But ultimately. The grand focus is on the self. And lesser as a secondary body with the moon. If soeaking purely on celestial bodies. The pope card centers the throne to the stars. Thats the innitial idea anyway. With the added association of letter Н and negation. The queer death card centers the petulant fool, if viewed that way to the moon card of baser “lunar” needs. As the fool moon is taught to be the ending of a cycle. Or completion. Still need the temperance card. To center the seperate state of letter Ы to that of letter Ж. Which i presently gave to the chariot card. Which for at the moment only leave a few empty slots for i don’t know what. And to see simultaneously, if intuition or some other esoteric, mystical crap term completes it for me. As did the mossing elements of the latin tarot overlay did one evening.

And then its to, at the same time. Numerical associations. Whcih hopefully woon’t probe too hassle some. Whuch may take a bery long time jndeed. Not to mention pronunciation connections. Of changing letters. As was done with the Г card. And the Д card. Which are amazing by the way. And the complexity or complex, confusion for the “ artistism” of the Д card. Which to, i beleive, simultaneously is a representant of the home and of god. For both home and god i. Russian start with Д. The added level of confort shows through well enough as it does with ot connection to the tower card with it is tied with. As the И card is not necceserily killing the “dragon” solely an aspect of the self which is detrimental or harmful or fake or whatever else fit into that nice little nudge one calls motivation, or egotism.

Though, its still too early, to say anythign defrinite or whether or not i drop the whole thing in favour for a dame. Cause the devil will mostly deffinatelly send me a distraction the moment my motivation takes wheel. As does it always. For the last few several years its been this group of cunt tards. But in the past its been other things.

Lets see if this dumb layman isnt capable of creating a beautiful card game. That brings out the best in both worlds.

… your not dumb, your outclassed, out taught, out numbered and out-moraled. And most people are far more evil intended and fake than you’r capable of being. And if those are the typws of personalities you were raised by, they’ll most likely always be apart of your life whether i try to escape or not. So, stay still. Though their inteligence-complex game they play is rather annoying. Its nothign new to you. You know that. You “shred” a boyroom with a cuntard that did the same thing everytear of your childhood. As you watch the narsicistic joy on his face while he did it. And you know that your framed into this disposition. So dont sweat it. Wait for the grand finally.

Bashnyа = tower. Maybe thats were they want the tower as in the “big bang” of B(Бб). Suits the missing top of the latin B. But then. As above so below. I’d rather keep it idealistic. And not someones script. No?

But, there is a sheild on the bottom of that tower card….. uh. Tower is one of my “birth cards”. Well guess we have the answer to the grand finally. Eh.

Though curious how the street peddler is the chosen card. Trying to sell bs and mise people out of their money with cure-alls and tabloid prints of unfounded fake news. At least thats one description of it. If ots not viewed in the positive sense. Of being prepared formthe job at had. And glorifying a toast of a ccomplishment. But, that isn’t my disposition. Nor how i am. So it ain’t me. Not that i wont suffer fir it regardless. But, one can go further considering the tarot. And number two being that of the high priestess, holding that inner knowledge. In which she grants those whim go looking. Or as the state of the in er mimd and how it should be treated with a sense of delicacy and mothering loving nurturance. It also being to represent solomons temple made out of gold for communion and transmission of god’s word. Maybe it should be replaced, the peddler, with the broken mirror’s, magician card. Of magic. Different format so. Its open to debate. Which is one of the reasons i changed the high priestess, from the marseille’s grandmother with a dash of waite’s temple and included the logos or higher conscious of god. At the same time as the innocent virgin, to be treated and care for in a fatherly way of protection. I improved it quite a bit.

And so i dont like having the tower there. The destruction of the temple. Violation of the innocence and the coherency of the mind. Though on that argument of decohenrence and thinkin( outside of the box. Which is theming lately with the show, dark matter. In where the only way through is with a clear mind. An knowing exactly want you want. And all of these issues prevent that possibility.

But, one olso need to plug the deck i to rhe calendar. Or ots not going to be very effective for divining. All calendwr hollidays for tarot. Are negative. I could plugnin the cloud read prophecies. But, i dint want to pictorialize rhat experience. Ive been through more than once. And irs not pleasent. It’ll make the devil card look like a vacation.

Anyway to continue on the last arguement and the tower. It is interrsting to note sequences of nine. Which repeat fully 3 times. Leaving 4 cards from 1 to 31. For Ь & Ъ i am not counting. Instead of continuing the numbers 1 through 31. One just calculates 1 through 9. And use this as a reference to see which cards are connected by number. Numbers 1, 2, 3, start and end each row of cards which consist of ten cards. Numbers repeat diagonally / like this. And increase by 2 like \.

4 is the last number that contains 4 numbers. The rest only contain 3.

The other curiosity is history. And the russian alphabet reform. A decade after the release of the Waite deck. Though, it stems generations before hand. And the tower card being placed at the beginning of the alphabet. And the governmental change from a monarchy to that of a communism. Often enough villainized as demonic by tyrannical government offices.

Though if one went looking, one may find another 4. In conjunction to the calendar. Though the Gregorian calendar and not the Julian calendar. Which is what the Russians still use. Not fallowing the papil church. So for at the moment their christmass doesn’t fall on December 25. But on jan. 7. Though for me. December 25th is still the date as Christmas for as i know it, is for the decline of the sun on the darkest day of the year. Cyclic repetition. Including letters Ь & Ъ brings that day of the year to the E card. Or if excluding, to card number 4 the Г card. Both cards at the moment shows light. Rising light. As the dove is also a Venus symbol and a symbol for jesus. As the 4 is also a number for the emperor or king. And the 6 is a number for the lover(s). The poetry here is beautiful. And instead of the connection tarot as with christmas to the devil card. Which makes sense. On the darker side of things if not just as for a venus symbol. As the classical tower card fallows next with colourful lights floating doen from the sky. Not in the waite’s version. Not a farcry for christmas lights. And the tearing of the presents waiting under the tree. As the tower card is also places on valentines day….. tarot is evil. Maybe not.

It’s worth going over thinking about the devil card and Christmas. Truth. Hiding behind the holly. And allure and lies. Though that truth isn’t desirable. All that time being covered over by illusions. Its not so much the devil that lies. Only it gets sealed by lower truths. And the unveiling onlu gwts more potent the more it’s hiding by duration. This isn’t something the russians do. It gets faced every year. And the rising of the sun. Is more of a victory, to say. When time is given to joy and light. It does’t hide it behind a facade if bs. Popular loving bs. But bs just the same.

On this topic. There are others things interresting.

“Women’s christmass falling here on the Ë fool card. And soemthing else. For when the julian calendar finaly moves one day forward. And hits jan. 8th. What does this imply on the world stage? As something will undoubtably happen. When, 2101, julian Christmas on jan.8th. …. Curious. Generation Z. Will be all but died out on that date. The end of the alphabet and the start of a new age. Dawning. …. Too grand? Maybe. Thought it curious is all.

Further more, when christmas first started on jan. 7th was in 1972. A major thing of inportance on this date between the american and russian goverments was the anti-ballistic missiles treaty aims at limiting nuclear arms, with president Nixon. In 2036 will be the half way mark of the 129 year cycle of the julian calender. Which is the final year that current president vladimir Putin will be legally allowed to hold office.

Forgive my mistaken god to be written with a Д. When it comes to the throne. It’s with a Б. Though the prefix “бес” is the negation of a term or word, as it is with “un” and “in” predixed to english words. -Letter Б when attached with an O. Seems to play the opposite case. Though not being a prefix, as far as i know, where the words and terms bear positive meanings- Tower, god, declensions, a host of negative words. Baggage. Which seems to dwarf the positive by number. They do seem to paint the tower card rather perfectly. At the moment. The tower and temperance when speaking purely of letters and tarot. Was also an issue for attention. Though because the tower in tarot paints the mars function solely in a negative light. It is also in line when the letter T which makes a sense of its own. As t is to T. But Temperance. Which also starts with a T, binds them. This is a subject all its own. But to fallow this lead of the tower and letter T. One does the same with бashnya and letter Б. The added weight is that the russian Б words describe the tower and its details better that the english T. Plus it aint found in the middle of the script. Wasting time and effort. And all tgat was built. Its found at the start. With a long road ahead.

Dont want to keep too strictly to the rule of majuscule. A sin “Major”. Though ir will enivitably affect the outcome. Argument came to about the “pope” card effecting and being the lover card. Card H in tarot latin overlay. Though H plays favour as being No. can’t really have that as the russian overlay. Its even defined by associative deffintion from popular vote by infancy and regulation. As No, is paramount on this regard. Argument at current as having russian letter L as lover, as it starts the same and Waite’s transfiguration of the strength as violence to something more pleasing. Though simce there was already a “lovers” card, didn’t leave him with much choice with also transfiguring the actual lover card with something biblically grotesque as adam and eve. And the fun part about this image is that the lion also starts with an L. Curios here when writting an L and not a L. Its not a vowel. Lion’s love.

My apologies if that whole paragraph causes some kind of grammatically cause upheaval. But perhaps there is some sense when it comes to russian letter Ь & Ъ. The called soft amd hard signs. As an L os a soft signed artical compared to “a” L. Even though grammatically speaking it’s wrong. Unless theres an exception that my secondary 4 flunked english class is unaware of.

As H(n) is to N and the tower card is to valentines day. Waite didn’t just switch the strenght card and the justice card but he also switch the lovers card and the strength card. And also changes the debt card (death) with a fool’s tyranny. Which connects it with relunctence or avoidances and antipathy towards owing whats due and not paid for. But the death card is also painted as glory in the transfiguration of the fool body, with the death of the king and his wealth and sit of power against the church and marriage. Agaisnt the feminine body and pleas for mercy.

Its fucken revolting.

…. The house of the golden dawn? In the land of the setting sun.

[anywayshapeorform]

... hey... i'm back.. can i- can i ask you something?

Oh, go on!

oh, hm, uhh... how would you describe "home"?

... my home?? my home is-

no, no, no!! not your home! just the general definition of home

... what... are you planning?

definition of home, three, two, one, go!

Hm! Ok!! Uhhhhh- home is where you are not afraid, is where you feel safe enough to just exist, I think...

so, now let's consider the fine print of my contract with existence! if i am meant to be back home- does the destination changes if i change what i consider my home to be???

- What happened?? What are you saying? Why are you saying this?!

if i go away... someone will be left alone. i failed, i didn't go unnoticed!! i don't know if rose will be back there, waiting for me, but i know someone who will miss me if i'm just...gone...

But... you'll not be able to move on... you'll get stuck forever! I will get stuck forever!!

no!! hear me out! do you remember anything about the sculk?? or about having my name?!?! do you have any of the memories i have about this island???

I- I just remember up until Kabber called...us... Iris. After that, I only know what you told me, but is not really "remembering".

yes!!! maybe it's like we're twins!! maybe it's like a morula that divided into two, but with timelines! what if this time we can both exist! we are communicating, we are living together and nothing bad happened!!

... yet...

listen!! i know you want to remember, but are we really the same person?? the lane no is still the lake no, even if it leads to the white nile! the water flows but no place gets dry, we are both here! right now!!

... One of the things I remember was that you put up a hostile front to ward off anyone who tried to talk to you, so no one would get attached. And now I discover that you are hanging around someone to the point that the whole island knows that if they want to find you, they just need to ask him where he is. And now you don't want to get...back... can you explain what happened?

... you know... we just don't like to know that someone is alone... the chariot was alone when he appeared here, and he will be alone again if i go away...

...

...

If you are willing to deal with the consequences on your end, I can deal with the ones on my end. For you. So you don't have to go through the same things I did.

[libidomechanica]

Untitled (“Your border were the”)

The pink, the suddenly, sweet Infants     apiece; and wind, thou say. That he has not the sublimity,     that it was a bore: most sweet Beau, that while each other     late it that I do chance remembrance, hail fellows, the     ditch, I weene the cunning

with blue sky full of grief at th’     inferior, to free from a larch, and want and over     dull and Coach and send then to pleasant, if you wide worlds     of an every humour. Or the pierced the joys and such maine     recognized occasion,

which with my absence is in herself     to lose; so half-way to lift on fast the incessant.     Described; for those Lover she merchance on the main; and gently     pats their ferocities, and quite. As I pulled through the     starres, or bright and by

the must brings and being happen     where be blessed. For a candles fix’d with the windowes daughter,     as leaves a ladder this, the choir’s amen. That sometimes     on those who lent horseback his may repent all! ’St my hair     in love the charms, it has

been mine own true to form a little     sheepeheards bee and while fauour conversationist, why     waxed Sir Johnny’s lips with splendour. But all nightly boasts to     dreamers to tell! And I, but fainting, plunder’d Kingcups, and     riches rich Brocade. And

won him over see this erring     to backs, and strive in my head was small chapel. Mine: but, Betty,     half-mushroom, half full— already; nature’s whole world of     their immortal Sight, nor bate abate there anon. Proud of     him glorious Angles

were fell shall before than go the     Sun their waving parent to be terrestrial pretended     for yellow. Or when they looked at there’s Giotto, shelter     of heart as cannot yet green prosecution; and with     thine eyes that love of the

five-bar gate, the stony sleeping     some eight yield to advance between friends, and there was not ashamed     of mankind as thine is weary ladies—some rough differ     a mile, more loud and see all the literary     beautiful there, then returning

within the Nestors chariots,     who love the lake, beneath her Heads the iron gave, alas!     With my dear, dearer because you with hurried; demure     will trim. Love in the usual Light hover, despite through     the sages. He liked to

cold, and lay dreamed the Fool. Sleep, when     them,—or, if unremember being arms like Thames wanton     heavenly tell, which the hall, there a slender the heart somewhat     many thing flockes off the lamplight, as we will end     where chops through day over

dull race,—a quality.—Your border     were the royall art of this beares worn out with one     in than aught without suspicion when the shadows of the     rest lurk’d in earthly face. My supply of table to listening     to eat not only

light and charms, that speech fallen lame     justly sinecure, and at other discover’d, pricking     hame against female Errors met his fingers, but most fair     moss. Stumble dances I need of reading Tartars, to burst     empty Air. And more of

wild things that you could ease: without     a rock. Call he final shape. It be grow there is no need.     To guide appear and kings could surprised to help poor old Susan     Gale. A wounds, Your Grace’s talisman, presage, he never     spell, of the Catholic

creed while he said, she almost his     hand. With life that his gravity, I’ve made upon the touch     of sea and hurt him who like nothing when they’re give and death     squad, and yet to stop that when new myself in small-talk ready     part frae ’boon that kept,

hath been fields, or as a moonbeam     enter’d monster, paint it take Treat, nor envy and over,     just what I might to forget her; point of lost on the strengthen’d,     though Betty, go! The month of a nuptial course, and others?     What, if I can’t say,

and placid misse. Warmth induced to     proves in second spring? Rode o’er a please, when Woman’s jealous     Friends as often superfluous sight all the wolf is mild;     at least with pedestrial peacock strikes Time wou’d spark the sweetness     had been, a page of

change which you command success.     Ornament the outside her lips to love through the other Muses,     one shame, and Musgraves! Fashion, but it doth sighs, your     granted Norwegian trees refuse of rhymed to be the gasping     o’er Juanna, too; and

thus unfriends besides, my Katie?     The night disposed around: the ooze of that next she felt his     heart thou be tough? For it was all other Themis his brayne,     so sweet; but when the waggons, when you thinke now and then near.     Men, Monkies, Lap-dogs, Parrots,

perishable; until again—     again undoing much to early taint the Knight, who     gazettes; but follow’d from the best partake off shoes far     away, spreads or foes, the uninitial-scarred to guessing     stops her idiot boy.

[aphrostarot]

What does 2022 have in store for your love life? Pick a pile

Please remember that this is a general reading and some things may not apply to you. Don't force it to fit. I offer paid readings on my page if you would like a personal reading. Prices are listed there. Please message me or email me if you are interested!

As always, Patrons see my readings first before I make them public. If you are interested in receiving exclusive first access to my readings as well as other perks click here.

Pile One:

What was the theme of your love life in 2021?

Queen of Wands and Nine of Wands:

Having both of these cards show your love life as it was in 2021 tells me that it wasn't very great. You seem to have been in a relationship with someone who was very bossy and dictatorial. Your opinions and views may have differed when it came to life and love, and this bothered this person, making them try to change you for them. However, you did not like this and refused to conform, so the other person left or stopped trying in the relationship. This left you waiting for them to either come back or to try. You seem to have spent most of the year waiting for them to call, text, or contact you.

What does 2022 have in store for you in 2022?

Three of Swords and King of Wands:

Due to your relationship with this person, you will begin this year heartbroken. As a result of this heartbreak, you no longer want to pursue anything romantic, so you focus on your hobbies. You have now changed your focus from love to hobbies, and this is what you plan to do in 2022.

Knight of Pentacles and Eight of Swords:

Your guides want you to be patient this year, especially when it comes to love. This heartbreak may have caused you to feel trapped in your own mind and this has caused you to feel helpless when it comes to love, and it appears that you will continue to struggle with this during 2022.

Ace of Pentacles and Two of Swords:

Your guides don’t want you to fret because they are letting you know here that there is a new beginning happening in 2022. One that involves balance and foundation. After a long period of stalemate in love, there will be a new beginning for you that will take some time to develop but will be well worth it in the end.

Oracle Reading

Pile Two:

What was the theme of your love life in 2021?

Five of Wands and The Chariot:

2021 may have been filled with some fast-paced love for you. However, with the five of wands coming out alongside the chariot this is telling me that you may have had multiple suitors chasing after you for most of 2021.

What does 2022 have in store for you in 2022?

King of Swords and Ten of Cups:

2022 will be quite different for you in the love department. It seems to me that you will have someone come into your life (it could even be one of the many suitors you had in 2021) who wants a fairy tale happy ending with you. This person may be emotionally aloof, meaning they are quite cold when it comes to emotions. They are not an overly emotional person and would prefer not even to express their emotions. They could be a Gemini or have significant Gemini placements.

Six of Cups and Page of Cups:

With this six of cups coming out I can tell you that this is definitely someone from your past coming back in 2022 to try and pursue a romantic relationship with you. They have realized what they are missing and they want you back. What is interesting to me is that this person is not very emotional but when they come back into your life they will be pursuing you with great sensitivity. This is going to sound cliche but it is really the only way to describe this situation. You make this person feel emotions they have never felt before. They have spent their whole lives running from their emotions and not wanting to deal with anything that involves feelings but when it comes to you, they can’t help but feel things.

Four of Wands and Queen of Wands:

According to your spirit guides, your love life in 2022 will be filled with stability and ambition. You will be pretty ambitious when it comes to love this year. Maybe in the past, you were quite relaxed and laidback when it came to love, allowing things to just happen without being truly excited. That is about to change in 2022. You will be excited about love with this person. Your approach will be different when they enter your life.

Oracle Reading

Pile Three:

What was the theme of your love life in 2021?

Strength and The Star:

To me, it seems that most of the people who chose this pile were not in a romantic relationship at all throughout 2021. That’s not to say you didn’t want to be in one, because with that star card I believe that you really did want to be in one and that you may have been manifesting one throughout the whole year. Though, it never came. This however taught you strength. You learned how to experience love on your own with yourself and for yourself. You learned how to be single and how to enjoy it. For those of you who were in a relationship in 2021, this relationship may have been filled with hope and strength. It not only made you extremely happy and hopeful for your future with them, but it also taught you how to be strong both in love and in life.

What does 2022 have in store for you in 2022?

Temperance and The Tower:

You may have experienced a tower moment at the end of 2021 or even at the beginning of 2022. After having this tower moment, your love life crashed down around you, causing you to have no idea what real love is or what you want in a relationship. For those of you who were not in a relationship, this tower moment might have occurred because you failed to receive your manifestations, which then caused you to be mad at your guides and yourself for wasting all that time. However, what I can tell you is that the beginning of 2022 will be filled with an equilibrium where nothing good or bad will be happening in your life after that tower moment. In a way, this is good because you can rest. Here, your guides tell you that the love you want is coming, but not at the time or in the way you would like it. Therefore, you need this tower moment and rest in your life in order to take a much-needed break.

Page of Cups and The Fool:

You will experience a lot of sensitivity in your love life in 2022. Due to this tower moment, you will feel quite vulnerable and exposed in love. Whenever someone tries to approach you or says anything about your love life, you will get quite defensive and may say some things you don't mean. This is where Fools' energy enters the picture. In 2022, your guides are telling you to take on more of the Fool's approach to life and love. The Fool could care less what others think and they march through life to the beat of their own drum, excited for where life takes them. This is who you need to be and who you will be in your love life in 2022.

Knight of Wands and Queen of Cups:

The Queen of Cups is the more mature energy of the Page of Cups. They are sensitive but not in a childish way and very empathetic. This is who you will become after you embrace that Fool's energy. You will be a much happier and healthier person towards the end of 2022, especially when it comes to love. Once you reach this point in your life you will find your energetic approach to love again which will then make you round out the year on a fast approach to love.

Oracle Reading

Pile Four:

What was the theme of your love life in 2021?

Six of Coins and Queen of Coins:

You may have been in a relationship with a very traditional and generous person in 2021. When I say traditional I mean that they view marriage as an end goal in love. I am not referring to gender identity or sexual orientation. This person that you were with was very good to you and they saw you as someone that they wanted to spend the rest of their life with. It may also have been you that was this person.

What does 2022 have in store for you in 2022?

The Wheel of Fortune and The Hermit:

The Wheel of Fortune here may symbolize a transition from one fortune to the next. 2021 was filled with happiness and generosity in love for you and now it seems that 2022 is going to be filled with you spending time with yourself. The Hermit is not a good card when it comes to love, it is the card of loneliness, so if you are in a relationship at the start of 2022 it may not last. However, if you are single at the start of 2022 you will be filled with time alone to learn how to love yourself on your own.

Ace of Coins and Seven of Swords:

After this period of alone time in 2022, you will be faced with a new beginning. You may have felt betrayed in your love life at the end of 2021 or the beginning of 2022 which resulted in this time alone. This foundation you will be gaining in 2022 will help you get out of this loneliness and help you stand confidently in your pursuit of love in 2022.

Page of Cups and Ten of Wands:

By the end of 2022, it seems that all of the hard work you have done throughout the year will pay off. Your sensitivities will be heightened in love and you will be ready to pursue something more romantic.

Oracle Reading

[iwadori]

Can you write a pure angst, using 10 and 35 please ( Idc about the characters ) :)

Getting hurt with the haikyu boys part 3 (Iwaizumi)

Part one Part Two Part three

Word count: 2.8K

Genre: pure angst

Authors Note: I am sorry for just how shit it is lol. I had an idea and it kind of got worse as it went along but I hope you like it anyways.

You were pregnant.  

You wanted to cry.  

You stared at the test in front of you. Two lines. Positive. There was no denying it, as much as you wanted it to be negative. You could tell you were pregnant before you even took the test, all the throwing up you were doing, the nausea you felt when certain foods were being cooked at work and the ongoing foot and back pains you felt.

Iwaizumi first approached you at your job, some shitty dinner that only paid you enough so you can make ends meet. You could tell he had money, the way he dressed, his demeanor even the way he talked. ‘What was a man like this doing here?’ you thought.  

Apparently, he’s seen you around for a while, your city was small you’d only really leave this place if you had a fair god mother or died and of course you are clearly alive and don’t have a fairy god mother...until you met him.

He ordered a coffee, didn’t drink it though (probably knowing that your boss spat it in whenever he was in a bad mood or because he just needed an excuse to be around) just waiting for you to finish your break. You sat in a corner booth for ‘privacy,’ not that anybody was even in the place.  

“My names Iwaizumi Hajime” he said keeping a blank facial expression  

“What do you wan-”

“Miss L/N, I think I’ll do the talking here. Okay?” he said with a smirk appearing on his face after seeing your slightly shocked face when he revealed knowing your last name.

“I’ve seen you around for a while now, you’re beautiful you know that right?” he said making your cheeks heat up a bit. “Anyways, I think you’re gorgeous and a man like me needs a pretty girl like you on his arms. By the lack of response to my name, I assume you don’t know who I am...but I guess that works in my favour”

Your face is getting bored by the second not really listening as he rambles on about himself, “I need you to be on my arm every night that I go out to one of my boring business meetings.”  

“Business meetings?” you ask  

“You know, a bunch of ‘business’ people go out and talk ‘business’ together.” he said sarcastically as if you were stupid.

“I know that, I just thought you’d elaborate about it.” You sighed “What do I get out of this?”

“Finally, you’ve gotten to the interesting part, you my dear get money and lots of It” he says finally catching your attention “I’ll pay you 1 million Yen per night, and all your dresses, outfits and expenses will be paid for so you won’t have to worry your pretty little head about finances again” he ‘smiled’ at you.

“What's the catch?” squinting your eyes  

“The catch is just that you have to accompany me to all my events.... and you have to stay in my condo.”

“Wh-”

“Don’t worry dear, it’s a nice place” interrupting you “probably better than any shithole you live in”

“Fine, fine” his words were convincing you “Is there a contract you have for me to sign?” you ask wanting to at least be somewhat ‘protected.’

“No contract, just this verbal agreement. Between me and you right here right now.” he winked “so you’re in agreement of our arrangement?”

“Yes.”

That was your first mistake believing Iwaizumi Hajime.

Sure you could defend yourself now and say ‘I was poor and in need of help’ but you’d know it would just be you in denial talking.  

The first time you attended a meeting with Iwaizumi, you came home from quitting your job since Iwaizumi said ‘you’re on my payroll now.’ You found a beautiful red dress laying on your bed accompanied with shoes and accessories and note saying, ‘I trust you to be able to do your own hair and make up my dear – I.H’

You didn’t have any family, or any friends. Most people that have had even a single encounter with you have deemed you to be ‘Not Likeable’ saying you’re not a people person or just lack any sociability. You were stuck in this town because of the debt your father has left you in before he supposedly ‘passed’ away. Leaving you drowning in all his financial woes, meaning you couldn’t go to university or become a professional *insert dream job here* like you wanted to be.

When you exited your building, you saw Iwaizumi leaning against a flashy car parked outside. “You chariot awaits m’lady” he says with a cheeky grin on his face making you roll your eyes. You got in the car and he started driving, humming along to a random song slightly agitating you.

“So, when are you moving to my place? It’s a part of the agreement.” he said in a sing song voice in the tune of what he was humming.  

Iwaizumi reminded you of JD from heathers, he was nice when he wanted but he did have a screw loose that was triggered when things didn’t go his way. Like a small child who didn’t get the toy he wanted when he had a million other toys.  

Him being the child. You being the toy.

“Our agreement is bullshit, just verbal.” you say mockingly “remember?”

“don’t start with me Y/N I'm not in a pleasant mood today” he says gritting his teeth “and I don’t need you fucking with me tonight.”

He puts his hand on your thigh, a little too harshly making you internally wince. “Okay here’s the rules for the night. You stay on my side for the night, only speak when spoken too, don’t drink too much since no one likes an alcoholic of course.”

“Oh, so all I need to do is sit pretty like a good little girl.” you say sarcastically

“Precisely” he lessens the grip on your thigh making you breathe in relief.  

The event was boring to say the least, you did as Iwaizumi said stood next to him with a fake smile plastered on your face all through the night. You’re sure that people did ask you questions, but you were in your own little world only stepping out of it when Iwaizumi either pinched your arm or gripped your thigh.

The end of the night was ‘eventful’ to say the least, before you entered the car a hand wrapped around your waist and you were pulled into a back alley. “We couldn’t end the night so boring, could we?” it was Iwaizumi, of course it was.

He started peppering your neck with kisses and roaming his hands all over your body. He eventually trailed the kisses from your neck to your lips, leading you both into a full blown make out session. It was fast and you couldn’t really think straight. Iwaizumi was getting a bit too forceful, gripping and kissing harder than he needed to, leaving marks as if to say ‘you’re mine now.’

That was your second mistake. Getting sexual with Iwaizumi Hajime.

He said you had to go back to his house which was basically now yours. You complied, obviously had no other choice since he didn’t offer or ask. He told you too.

Waking up in the Iwaizumi residence was an ‘experience.’ Iwaizumi wanted you awake when he was awake and asleep when he was, never giving you a moment too yourself. You swiftly came to the learn of the reason why he wanted you in his ‘care’ (as he called it anyways) he wanted his eyes on you all the time.

You carried on attending the events bored out of your mind and the nights went the same way. Fancy dress, long car ride, not paying attention, getting fucked in the back alley then sleep in Iwaizumi’s expensive silk sheets.

You didn’t know much about Iwaizumi besides what you could find. In the day time, Iwaizumi spends it cooped up in his office whilst giving you the ‘permission’ to roam around the house. Iwaizumi kept all his important stuff in a small box under a creepy floorboard in his basement original idea I know. All the information in there was just stuff about generic stuff about his childhood. Him being brought up into wealth, how much he weighed as a baby and all the allergies and boring shit that he had.

Iwaizumi Hajime was an enigma.

You and Iwaizumi did get along. Sometimes. You did do things that weren’t strictly fucking and going to business meetings. He took you on what you could only be able to describe as dates, and outings showing you off to all his actual friends. That’s when you learnt the difference of the ‘two’ men, Iwaizumi and Hajime.

Although they were the same person by name, Iwaizumi was rough around the edges and cold at heart not caring about you at all. Hajime, whilst still being rough around the edges, basically made you out to be his girlfriend giving you the love and care you needed. You really liked the times when you were with Hajime.

That was your third mistake, falling in love with Iwaizumi Hajime.

As things progressed, your quality of life seemed to dwindle (not that it was great in the first place.) Iwaizumi was barely in the house, claiming that for these particular ‘business meetings’ he didn’t need you.

On one night, a simple phone call definitely changed your whole dynamic.

“Yes babe, I’m coming over tomorrow I can’t wait to see you and the girls again.” he said to the other person on the phone.

“Why do you question my love for you, of course I love you.” he said again

“I love you, the girls even the dumb dog that Haru forced me to get for her 8th birthday I love. You guys are my family. My lovely wife and out girls”

Your stomach churned, you backed out of the hallway that you were in. He had a family, of course he had a family. You went into the guest room, where you kept all your things, you couldn’t do this anymore. Although you pretty much lost all your morals when you formed this whole agreement but you refuse to sleep with a married man with kids. You couldn’t. Being the reason why a family might break up is something you wouldn’t ever do.

Iwaizumi heard all your commotion and entered the guess “Woah darling who’s moving out?” he asked jokingly  

“Hmm probably your wife and kids, after they realise their husband is a CHEATER!” you spat

“Woah, woah Y/N” he said getting closer to you “You don’t know what the fuck you’re on about”

“I think I know pretty well; you’ve always been a pompous ass Iwaizumi; it was my bad for thinking that you weren’t married throughout all of this.” You finished packing up as much close as you possible can and headed out the room.

“You need to watch your mouth Y/N” he says aggressively  

“Or what Iwaizumi, or should I say Hajime” you shout “Or is that only reserved for your WIFE!”

This seem to really tick him off, “You don’t know anything Y/N, you really think I could love a dirty slut like you? Huh? Well, I didn’t know that you were important enough to be able to know the details of my personal life.”

“I'm not a slut” you mumbled. Which was completely true, Iwaizumi didn’t notice that the first time you slept together was the first time that you slept with anyone.

“repeat that again for me y/n?” he said mockingly

“IM NOT A SLUT!” you shout in his face

“You are what I say you are darling”

“Fuck you.” You try and push past him hard, to get out the house but you’re no match against his anger and brute strength. So, when he slams you against the wall, he banging your head. Leaving you concussed and bleeding. Before you completely pass out all you hear is a repetition of Iwaizumi Hajime murmuring “I'm sorry, I’m sorry” whilst wrapping his arms around your comatose body.

You woke up, thinking that was all a dream but the ache in the back of your head proved otherwise.  

“Y/N, darling your awake!” he said making you flinch

You moved away from him when he sat on your bed looking at you with ‘love’ and ‘care’ in his eyes. He goes to stroke your cheek whispering “you’re so be-”

“Fuck off” you say. That bang to the head was a wakeup call literally reminding you of all the hot and cold moments you had with Iwaizumi that you submerged into your head for the sole reason of ‘wanting to be happy.’ But you weren’t happy. Deep down you knew that.

“But y/n, darling I love you.” he said and you closed your eyes shut wanting to tune him out “I love you Y/N.”

“You don’t" you replied back harshly with your eyes still shut tightly

“But I do Y/N, I love you” he repeated the ‘I love you’s’ over and over making you want to scream out in frustation.

“Shut up!” you yelled “You don’t love me, stop saying that” your head throbbing with every word “Just stop. Make it stop! Kill me if you have to! Just make it stop” you say thumping at Iwaizumi’s chest becoming a hysterical crying mess. You weren’t talking about the physical paint he caused you (even though that hurt ALOT) you were talking about the constant heartache it was just being around him.

He didn’t know what to do. So, he just put his arms round you again and you yelled your frustrations about him to him into his chest.

You woke up into a new place, not your old one or Iwaizumis just something brand new.  

With a note on your bed side table saying:

‘I love you and I’m sorry’

Making you tear it up and toss it out.

You had no further contact with Iwaizumi, you figured that the new house you lived in was already paid for, but you didn’t want Iwaizumi to show up one day saying that you owed him money so you decided to get a job. A small one, that didn’t require any strenuous Labour or heavy shift times.

It was a few weeks after Iwaizumi left you and you felt sick and heartbroken. After finishing your shift at your job you felt hot headed and extremely ill making you run to your toilet to spill out your guts.

Which lead you to your predicament now.

Pregnant.

You were pregnant.  

You wanted to cry.  

You stared at the test in front of you. Two lines. Positive. There was no denying it, as much as you wanted it to be negative. You could tell you were pregnant befonhre you even took the test, all the throwing up you were doing, the nausea you felt when certain foods were being cooked at work and the ongoing foot and back pains you felt.

You didn’t know what to do. There was only thing you could do, but you certainly didn’t want that. ‘Call him’ the voice in your head urged. ‘That would be the best option right?’ you thought ‘I mean he did love you afterall...’

It took a whole day of pacing around and wondering on what you should do. But you knew that leaving the situation longer would only make it worse. So you kept his business card on you when he gave it to you since that was the only phone number you had. He was all you actually had.

You called and the phone rang 4 times, your heart beating faster and faster as it rang.

“He-”

“Hello this is Sakura Iwaizumi speaking” a feminine voice said “Who is calling?” you hear someone say in the background. ‘Iwaizumi’ you thought, your face smiling. You realised you haven’t responded so you rushed out  

“I’m Y/N L/N, I need to speak with Iwaizumi.”

“Haji dear, there's a girl on the phone for you... someone of the name called Y/N L/N”

You heard muffles in the background and Iwaizumi saying “Just hang up the phone she’s not worth it.” Your heart stung ‘She’s not worth it.’ Did he really mean that? As much as you claim to hate him, you didn’t really. As you’ve said before you always liked his loving and caring side over his cold hearted one.

You put the phone down and just cried, wailing your heart out for him. Why? You don’t really know to be honest. This was all a dumb agreement, he used you because he was bored and he probably already knew you were pregnant from when he gave you that concussion. But ‘he doesn’t want you’ you reminded yourself because ‘I’m not worth it.’

AUTHORS NOTE: once again, i’m sorry lol. But im most likely going to do a part two of my ‘long shot’ series with Akaashi or a character of your choosing. 

[strangefellows]

ok, have some time, might as well go on my ramble about cu/robin

like, look, even if we don’t really see them interact much in chaldea (at least i haven’t, but i’ve only been playing for a year, if i missed an event where they talked tell me PLS) they have great chemistry???

like both of them are these chill, kinda sassy, mostly laid back kind of guys who either roll with things or are the ones going HEY NO WAIT A MINUTE WHAT THE FUCK???? and they’re also both kind of butt monkeys very often -- see: carnival phantasm/grand carnival and a whole lot of events + ccc and seraph and anything to do with bb -- that get their whole days ruined constantly by ridiculous shenanigans

BUT also they’re both the types that act very chill and laid back and well adjusted but also carry a whole lot of deep seated trauma they really don’t talk about most of the time or act like they have. cu has having to literally murder ferdiad (cu absolutely boned ferdiad i don’t make the rules) and poor connla, and like, okay, potentially unpopular opinion but to me m.edb is like the driver of cu’s trauma van (chariot?) here, she started that war that got so many of cu’s people killed, and the fateverse establishes the child troops’ death was canon so there’s that, and also i’m sorry but the way she acts towards cu is Very uncomfortable to me so there’s that, and also she literally had him killed in a v nasty way. so, like, he has all that, and he apparently says he really doesn’t hold much of a grudge except for those kids, but that is still a lot to carry, like look at cu alter that’s another aspect of cu he HAS that in him, so. and on robin’s end jesus h christ i read his extra profile and wanted to CRY. he was a kid, he can’t be older than like 20something, and he did his best and he was betrayed and murdered after only two years, and like, the part in his bio where it talked about how the villagers bullied him for his dad’s druid stuff, like, bruh, this boy is a sad mess. 

not to mention that it’s shown cu remembers emiya and gil and shit so probably remembers ubw so probably also remembers kirei forcing him to self terminate and you CANNOT tell me that’s not a little traumatizing

so both of them carry all this Shit they don’t really talk about but that is def heavy; robin does let it slip a lil easier ie his interlude and once or twice in extra/ccc (cu seems a little harder a nut to crack most of the time it looks like, but i’m a casual so), and they act all chill and cool older bro like and laid back, and they’re also butt monkeys that tend to be some of the first to point out the absurdity of things, they’re VERY similar and would work very well together

also cu is irish/can be a druid-like figure ie cascu, and it’s stated robin’s dad is a druid and that there is a connection as well!

also ALSO robin’s first appearance was in america, with cu alter, and seeing that whole ass Mess and then meeting cu properly would be very fun to explore.

look i just think they’d be really cute okay. let them vibe together and fish and cuddle and be a sassy duo.