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#the others are either because im gay and a classics major
agentplutonium · 8 months
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On Repeat Tag Game
Rules: Shuffle your repeat playlist ten times and tag ten people
Tagged by: @mr-laveau
[No pressure] Tagging: You, reading this. Mainly because idk who has been tagged in this. But ughhh @dizzy-n-busy , @romirola , @maxpaulll annnd double emphasis on whoever is reading this if you want to! (Im a loser who doesn't want to bother people, I don't have a lot of ppl to tag that I know have already been tagged)
Northern Attitude (With Hozier) - Noah Kahan, Hozier
Like Real People D0 - Hozier
Every, Everything - Noah Kahan
Francesca - Hozier
Ceilings - Lizzy McAlpine
Homesick - Noah Kahan
Just a Man - The Epic Sagas (Jeorge Rivera-Herrans + co)
Doomsday - Lizzy McAlpine
Keep Your Friends Close - The Epic Sagas (Jeorge Rivera-Herrans + co)
Battle Cry - The Family Crest
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thevalleyoftriumph · 4 months
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actually not to keep talking abt a topic hours later but i want to build off of one of my tags on that ultrakill post i rb'd last night [and im ONLY going to expand on one of my points, i will not be bringing up any other arguments in this post]
people love love love to say stuff like "pronouns =/= gender" [correct] and that you dont NEED to have specific pronouns such as he/him or she/her to be gay or lesbian [also correct], and while these two are great points that i agree with, it seems that these peoples support for this only goes as far as they/them users.
the absolute SECOND that a characters gender expression is canonically different from a "classic nonbinary" expression, its suddenly "up in the air" and "for your interpritation." and why is that?
specifically in the case of v1 and v2 from ultrakill; two canonically genderless/genderqueer/agender/nonbinray/what have you characters. v1 is VERY commonly seen as masc, and v2 is very commonly seen as fem.
v1 and v2 are also commonly headcannoned as gay and lesbian, respectively. theyre commonly shipped with characters seen as masc and fem. do you see what connections im beginning to see?
like it or not, by disregarding the canonical gender expression [or lacktherof] for these two, in order to fit them both into simple, binary, gendered boxes to also fit your specific sexuality headcanon - is in fact, an act of erasure! it comes off as INCREDIBLY iffy to fit nonbinary characters into a "masc nonbinary" and "fem nonbinary" binary.
and the fact is, i see people less often use other pronouns than it/its for these two for headcanon purposes or for fun or for projection, and more for SHIPPING purposes. there is a MASSIVE difference between adding onto a characters canonical pronouns for your own enjoyment and preference, and COMPLETELY changing them because you want a certain ship to be more gay, or whatever. an it/its user can be gay! it can also be a lesbian! it using it/its doesnt make it any less gay or any less of a lesbian, and it definitely doesnt make it any less nonbinary/genderqueer!
idk its just like. the machines in ultrakill [and most importantly v1 as the player character] being exclusively referred to as it/its is a major part of them and who they are. it is how they all express their gender CANONICALLY in the game. there are no other refferals no other pronouns, nothing. by disregarding this fact SO quickly, along with often only being for shipping reasons, you are showing that you Do Not Care for what the canon text is trying to tell you about the machines. im sorry but thats how it reads to me.
genuinely people love nonbinary characters until theyre the "wrong kind" of nonbinary, and all of a sudden jump through as many hoops as they physically can to disregard anything to do with that.
end of posts notes because if this post gets rb'd in any way or even breaches containment i know people will say stuff at me;
1] no, hakitas tweet about using "whatever you want" for the machines doesnt count IN THIS POST. nor does the discord. not everyone who plays the game is going to SEE either of those. while you could consider it canon [and i do! trust me! hakitas word is absolutely canon!] that doesnt mean it is ABSOLUTE, or the canon that is being INTENDED to be shown. most people are only going to see the in-game text, which is what is most important to me considering this post.
2] ive seen people making the argument that making nonbinary characters inhuman is like. bad rep or something idk im not doing the argument justice bc i dont remember it. but to that i say yes, i agree! we DO need more human nonbinary rep! boiling down every nonbinary person to be inhuman is Bad and you shouldnt instantly assume everyone whos nonbinary is Not Human! because that is really awful! do not misinterprite my stance here, i know what kind of website this is regarding reading comprehension! however comma that is not the point here. the machines using it/its isnt just from them being "inhuman nonbinary characters," it is a PART of the intended gender expression youre meant to gain from them. besides personally i adore inhuman nonbinary characters bc they kick ass and also im not human either. heart emoji.
3] no i am not saying you CANT listen to hakita and use different pronouns for the machines. at the end of the day hakitas word, regardless of if its in the game or not, is canon. im not your boss i cant tell you what to do. im not a fan of using he/him or she/her for Either v1 or v2 myself, but if it makes you happy, i literally cannot stop you. i hold no power over your decisions. i am once again saying, i am NOT tell you that you CANT do it.
just please. if your kneejerk reaction to being told "do what feels comfortable" about a characters pronouns, is to immediately assign the characters with it/its pronouns arbitrary masc/fem ones instead.. if that is your immediate kneejerk reaction, then PLEASE stop for a moment and consider why you feel that way specifically.
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idk if it's different in patho 2 (ive never played it) but in pathologic classic using the "mystical inclinations [...] left and right hand" dialogue as gay evidence that hinges on 'omf it's the first thing he says when they meet what a homo' but one of the major reasons this quote is so fucking good is because this isn't even close to the first time daniil and artemy meet. if ur playing the game in the recommend order, daniil has already completed his route. they know each other really well. they know their ideologies are completely incompatible. they also have an inkling that they are the same, things are repeating, things are different, "nature is playing jokes". obviously im not saying that daniil remembers the previous route exactly, but the player doesssss. and that's the context that makes his minor(?) breakdown about not being real a little more impactful, because he's already got the feeling things are starting again. another brilliant thing ab the way this was written is it doesn't rely on the player unlocking any of the secret endings in their first playthrough (pretty tough ride going in blind), so the line is either:
'wow this self awareness is fucking cool. I wonder if daniil kinda remembers the previous route, knows everything is starting again'
or
'oh my fucking god he kinda remembers that he isn't real'
anyways rant is almost over, but I also promise I'm not saying that daniil and artemy aren't gay or whatever, that's subtext for you to pick up on yourself. I'm just saying that the "left and right hand" thing means lots of other things (I just barely covered the sort of Brechtian angle you could take, there are so many angles because its a phenomenal game).
EDIT FOR CLARITY:
above post is unedited so u can understand why it is not effective in communicating my point lmao
I absolutely think the line has romantic implications. I also think it implies other things. I do not think people who analyse the romance are just unaware of the other things. I do not think the 'we have been here before' implications are the most important implications. Nor are they my favourite implications. I am just saying the fact it is the first thing Daniil says to Artemy has nothing to do with the romantic implications, but everything to do with the 'we have been here before' implications. I do not think that romance and 'we have been here before' implications are the only implications.
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hello-yue-here · 2 years
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because none of my irl friends watch stranger things/arent caught up and i need to make my predictions somewhere ive decided to share my volume 2 predictions here because i need written proof somewhere if im right:
POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD CUZ I REFERENCE VOLUME 1
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-joyce hopper or murray is gonna die. one of the major deaths will be the three of them. my money is on joyce.
-steve and robin will survive. steve is too popular a character to kill off, people will literally stop watching if he isnt in it. plus im p sure some netflix head or producer or something said steve will never be killed off. i saw this in a screenshot of a news article on twitter that i can no longer find so its possibly fale but i still think its unlikely for steve to die. robin wont die because shes (so far) i think the only canonically confirmed lgbtq+ character and that would look BAD for the duffers. plus we need to see where she and steve work in szn 5. these two i think are safe.
-now. nancy eddie jonathan and argyle. one of them is gonna go. nancy dying would be a HUGE twist considering shes one of the strongest characters (do not tell me shes not. she is.) the end of volume one however makes me think this wont happen because we still see nancy in the trailers so either the trailers are a fake out to make her seem safe or shes actually safe. im up in the air. eddie is a classic case of likable character getting introduced and built up so his death will be more painful (remember bob and alexei? yeah. like that) BUT since hes so heavily queer coded and well liked by fans this could look like killing ur gays again and the duffers may have steered clear. in all honesty my gut is telling me eddie is safe but i know not to trust my gut so out of these four i dont think hes the most likely to die but its still possible. jonathan might go just to give will more angst but at the same time he hasnt been relevant enough this season to make it impactful. however if a jancy break up happens OR nancy dies vecna could use that against him and give him the boot as well. argyle is either totally safe and wont even be all too involved in the season or fighting and remain a comedic side character for szn five or hes gonna make a huge and shocking sacrifice that no one sees coming because of his comedic presence. its a toss up for him. out of these four i think eddie and nancy are the most likely to go because one of the four teens in the upside down is probably gonna go i think.
-dustin. im sorry yall but i think dustin is gonna die. hes been too safe this entire series. hes a lovable character and the glue of the group. they might kill him off to make everything seem hopeless until someone begins to rally behind avenging his death. the glue almost always dies people. im scared for dustin but i rlly think this is the end for him.
-were gonna get a new couple. it wont be steddie or ronance sorry to break it to ya but theyre rlly pushing stancy and honestly i think they might do stancy so steddie and ronance are out of the running. robin and vickie is a possibility for me. i think theyd go for that one.
-mileven wont break up im sorry its not gonna happen millie and finn both have said that theyre like soulmates or some shit in interviews so i dont see that happening anytime soon
-seeing as vecna has never targeted the same person twice (yet at least) i think max and will are both safe and all the theories and ‘evidence’ pointing to will being vecnad are just a red herring
-HOWEVER i do think mike is gonna get vecnad. like dustin he has also been too safe in this show and i think that if something bad happens to eleven or mike (likely) mike is gonna blame himself and vecnas gonna get him
-lucas might also get the chop. i dont have any reasoning for this other than my gut feeling. so maybe not.
-lumax gets back together before tho
-008/kali is gonna return. if not in szn 4 then szn 5. theres just so much left that could be done with her character that could be discovered.
-the painting is gonna be of mike (and possibly the rest of the gang as their dnd characters) and this is gonna lead to will coming out
-jasons gonna get the chop cuz he was what steve was originally meant to be. steve was supposed to die szn one as a typical douchy all american boy but he was too charming and layered ao they kept him. jasons gonna get the chop.
now. what do i WANT to happen?
-everyone survives. ronance. steddie. lumax. mileven break up. i dont know if i want byler to happen or not. i just dont hc mike as anything other than straight but hey if byler ever does happen id be down for it. i just think a mileven break up would be good for mikes character development. dustin and susie reunited. jason getting the chop. argyle and eddie become stoner besties. el and hopper reunion. everyone is happy happy happy. will any of this actually happen? most likely not.
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What Kind of Music Slashers Would Vibe to Headcanons♪
This little thing popped into my head. Fyi, the canon timelines are thrown out the window for this so... Yeah.
Bring forth the bop~
RZ Michael Myers
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"Let my weapons be your children, let my armies be your damned. Try to suffer on in silence, try to stop me if you can." --- This Cold Black by Slipknot
I think he'd really enjoy metal in general. I can totally see him unknowingly stomping to some Marilyn Manson and Meshuggah, though the lyrics and message probably will just fly over his head.
He listens to some heavy shit, but probably all the more mainstream bands/artists.
The loudness and organized chaos of the genre fills the void in his soul and reflects the state of his mind, despite his stoic and non-verbal outer demeanor.
Someone please do everyone a favor and introduce Michael to some death metal. Admit it, it really fits his aesthetic.
This is just based on speculation, but I suspect a 70% possibility of RZ Michael resonating with Cannibal Corpse. Fight me.
He hates classical music with a burning passion. Back in Smith's Grove, they played Bach's Air Sul G on tap. (its canon in the first movie lmao) He hates it. Mikey no likey.
Freddy Krueger
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"No stop signs, speed limit, nobody's gonna slow me down. Like a wheel, gonna spin it, nobody's gonna mess me around." --- Highway to Hell, by AC/DC
Freddy listens to classic rock, period.
This guy is ngl a supporter of music taste discrimination. You listen to pop? Disgusting. You listen to Jazz? Disgusting. Classic rock is the epitome of all music.
He'll call you music-related slurs you never knew existed.
As stubborn adamant as Freddy is, he does harbor some guilty pleasures, including 70's hair metal and glam rock. Pshh. What a heckin hypocrite.
Some of his all time favorites are Guns N' Roses, Led Zeppelin, Van Halen, and AC/DC.
(Basic bitch)
*Hip thrust movements to go with his 'The Sprinkler' dance moves, Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses blasting in the background*
OG Michael Myers
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He doesn't listen to music, but if he did, he would probably enjoy Jazz.
Michael only listens to Miles Davis because he enjoys his music and can't be bothered to discover more artists.
Oml Michael I know Miles Davis is amazing but don't neglect other iconic artists plzzz. Someone please make him listen to some Teddy Wilson and/or Dave Brubeck.
I imagine him sitting stiff-straight on a rocking chair (he just likes how it moves), knife in his lap, rocking and zoning-out relaxing to 'Blue in Green'. (I love that piece)
#AfterHeFinallyKillsLaurie
#RetirementGoals
He also hates classical music because of the same reason as RZ Myers. Seriously, if either of them so much as hears the opening chord of Air Sul G, expect the speaker to be stomped to a pulp in a split second.
Bubba Sawyer
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Alright let's all be honest with ourselves... 70's pop and country is Bubba's shit.
Look me in the face and tell me he wouldn't adore ABBA, The Jackson 5, and Dolly Parton. Thats right you can't
Everytime 'Dancing Queen' starts playing on the radio, Bubba will drop everything and start busting down.
Ain't nothing and nobody stoppin him. Drayton is powerless against the supreme sovereignty that is ABBA.
But let's also appreciate the fact that our Bubster can motherfuckin get down. *wipes sweat from forehead + heart eyes*
He would also do passionate lip sync with his heart and soul, to Dolly Parton's 'I Will Always Love You'.
50% chance of him starting to cry right after he finishes his earnest performance.
*Holding Bubba in your arms, rubbing comforting circles on his back as he bawls hysterically, incoherently babbling on about how much he loves you*
I also feel for some reason he'd really like Joan Jett & The Blackhearts.
Thomas Hewitt
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"For one moment, I wish you'd hold your stage, with no feelings at all. Open minded, I'm sure I used to be so free." --- Citizen Erased by Muse
Y'know what I have a hard time imagining the type of music Tommy listens to. Kutos, Mr. Hewitt, you have defeated me.
siKE
(This is where I yeet the timeline out of the window y'all)
Thomas enjoys Muse, Evanescence, and Radiohead. (Fight me)
He just loves how emotional their songs are. He'd have one earbud in as he works away at his projects for hours. The music helps him concentrate, it is also a source of emotional support to him.
Hearing the heart-wretching lyrical content of 'Lost in Paradise' performed so beautifully by Amy Lee's angellic voice is really comforting to him. It's like hearing about another person's experiences. It makes him feel less alone in dealing with his emotional and mental turmoils and burdens.
The first time Thomas heard 'Creep' by Radiohead, he almost cried.
He also listens to My Chemical Romance sometimes. He only knows the Black Parade album, but he loves it. If 'Creep' didn't make him cry, listening to that entire album from top to bottom sure did. He started sobbing half-way through 'Famous Last Words'.
Tommy is emotional boi 🥺
Brahms Heelshire
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C l a s s i c a l
No matter how stinky Brahms is, you can't tell me that he's not classy.
Schubert is his bitch. Schubert's style tends to be quite majestic and/or dreamy, (generally) and can change color/sound very abruptly yet appropriately. (This is just my opinion based on experience with Schubert's pieces, but then I only know his piano pieces soo) (let's still cue that maestoso to scherzando transition)
But of course, Schubert isn't the only thing he listens to. He prefers the romantic period, so Mendelssohn, Rachmaninoff, Chopin, Shostakovich, Brahms, Schumann, you get the gist, all the staples. Oh yeah Elgar too. To be a proud English lad.
*Brahms swaying in the living room with the grace of a baby giraffe, engrossed in the beautiful melodies in Schumann's Kinderszenen.*
(Oml please check out 'Von fremden Landern und Manschen' and 'Kind im Einschlummern') (For those who play piano, they aren't that difficult too totally recommend) (Ok sorry I'm done now)
Brahms would totally waltz around alone to Chopin's waltzes and nocturnes.
Oh yeah apart from that classy shit, he likes to jam to meme songs.
"Hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, go play---"
*cut to Brahms passionately fortnite dancing*
Listens to The Strange Man Who Sings About Dead Animals for a good laugh. (Please, all of his songs are gold)
Vincent Sinclair
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He'll have 'emo' and 'classical' with a side of metal, thanks.
I headcanon that Vinny McWaxy is an INFJ, so the boy is likely prone to crippling existentialism. It would make sense for some aspects of his music taste to reflect that.
*cut to Vincent sitting rock-still on his workbench/stool, hands hover in mid-air, staring straight ahead, some John Cage piece playing*
You'll never hear this from Vincent but he enjoys sexy-time music. He has this whole erotic playlist he listens to while working. (Boy likes to feel sexy on the job, I respect that.)
I think its pretty much canon that Vinny loves MCR. (Hello fellow emo piece of shit 👋) His favorites are everything by them really. A hardcore fan. He used to have MCR, P!ATD, and 30 Seconds to Mars posters plastered everywhere in his workshop until he had to remove them all to add to the intimidation factor of his waxy hell for passer-bys. For the record, he is very gay for Frank Iero.
On the metal part of his spectrum is mostly classic metal, groove metal, and thrash/heavy metal.
Rammstein, Pantera, Vildhjarta, new and old Metallica, Dream Theatre, Coheed and Cambria. His bitches.
He also uses music to scare victims when bringing them down to his workshop. *cue horror movie soundtracks*
*KI KI KI MA MA MA*
Is a whore for the dramatics when in a good mood.
*Lacrimosa by Mozart plays as he makes a point to bring the wax painfully slowly down toward a drowsy and petrified victim*
A lament for your upcoming death, pitiful human.
Bo Sinclair
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"The day has come for all us sinners, if you're not a servant you'll be struck to the ground." -- Beast and The Harlot by Avenged Sevenfold
Bastard boy is into dad-music™. (same)
Dad rock, classic rock, pop punk, punk rock, old school pop, his shit.
He listens to a lot of the same bands as Freddy, but Bo (generally) doesn't discriminate and explores a more diverse variety of music.
Its a fandom canon that Bo loves Avenged Sevenfold. I totally agree.
A7x is the perfect amount of cynical, political, and shred for Beauregard, (I hc that ge hates his full name so plz don't ever call him Beauregard)
He listens to the radio whenever he's at work. Whatever that might be.
Will NEVER admit it, but he thinks Vinny's music taste is dope as hell.
He'll turn off the radio just to strain his ears to listen to Vincent's music downstairs. No one will ever know that though. You don't.
Actually likes classical music too. Its not one of his main genres but there's one piece he really likes, Second Movement of Shostakovich Piano Concerto No. 2 in F Major.
He never thought he'd enjoy this type of music. Its so.... Calm. He discovered that piece from Vinny's playlist. When he first heard it on his brother's speaker, he fell in love. It was one of the extremely rare cases in which he'd be committed enough to ask Vinny the name of the music.
Tiny shuffle for man-kind, huge fuckin step for Bo. Good job Bo, we're proud of you.
Also pleeeeeaaase message me or request stuff, I'm bored and have little inspiration 🦊
I might do a pt2 of this, since I didn't write many of the boys and gals🤷‍♀️
Also sorry if I've neglected some genres/artists (Like i've neglected non-piano classical pieces.... Bc ya girl is just a pianist), a person can't know everything😗
---Zali 🖤
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freddiesaysalright · 5 years
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The Most Dramatic Season Ever - Week 4
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Summary:  It’s your time now! You are ABC’s new Bachelorette and this is your journey! All these men (including our fav BoRhap boys and then some) are competing for your heart! Will you find love? Will you get engaged at the end? Or will you end up heartbroken? Find out, on the most dramatic season ever!
Word Count: 9.5k 
Tag List: @psychosupernatural​, @someone-get-a-medic​, @bensrhapsody​, @deakyclicks​, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession​, @minigranger​, @crazyweirdocalledfriday​, @the-moving-finger-writes​, @assembledherethevolunteers​, @rose-writes-prose​, @queenlover05​, @moon-stars-soul​, @danadeacon​, @deacyblues​, @thesundrop​, @cupidben​, @lostlittlenerd​, @delilahmay39​, @timmvrphy​, @queenmylovely​, @loveandbeloved29​, @free-pool-trash​, @fairestkillerqueenofall​, @local-troubled-writer​, @babyalienfairy​, @littlecarowrites​, @allthethingsicant​, @im-an-adult-ish​, @mirkwoodshewolf​, @squishy-gay-astronaut​, @sherlollydramoine​, @butlegendsneverdie​, @dogmom2014​ If you’d like to be added, let me know!
A/N: Alright, we are halfway through the season! The drama continues this week on The Bachelorette! 
Warning(s): None
Night 1  Week 1  Week 2  Week 3
Week 4 here we go!!!
London was beautiful. You had never been before, so you were eager to explore somewhere new. Plus, you knew several of the guys would be familiar with it. This was an opportunity to see their world. And that was exactly what you planned to do.
The men settled into their hotel suite. It was a large, airy place, with a wide balcony overlooking the city. Then men all gathered on the balcony to take in the view.
“I’ve never seen Big Ben before,” said Mike. “Except in pictures.”
“What are you talking about?” Joe teased. “He’s right here.”
He pointed to Ben, who laughed. “That’s a much bigger Ben than I am.”
Joe then wrapped his arms around Ben in a bear hug. “Well, we’ve got the best Ben.”
“That, we do,” agreed Gwilym, who reached out and pinched Ben’s cheek. 
Ben laughed more and flushed. Then all the guys gathered in a group hug. 
Of course, Luke was not with them. He was inside, journaling by himself. After everything that happened, he avoided the other men, and they avoided him right back. So, he missed out on the bond that had formed between the rest of them. Despite all competing for the same woman, they had become solid friends.
When there was a knock on the door for the date card, Mike went to go get it. Everyone watched the hallway anxiously. Then, they all heard him release a delighted cry. They exchanged confused looks. Mike returned without a date card, but with something much better. You.
They all cheered when they saw you and engulfed you in a warm group hug. Then they all settled back onto the couches so you could catch your breath.
“Welcome to London, guys,” you said, scanning their faces. “I’m really, really happy with the group that’s still here, and I hope that we can just continue this crazy journey all together.”
“How are you enjoying it?” Taron asked.
“Well, I haven’t gotten to see much, but so far, I love London,” you said. “In fact, I came here today for someone to explore it with me.”
They all watched you, hoping you would say their own names.
“Gwilym,” you said, finding his eyes. “Would you like to go on a date with me?”
“I’d be honored,” he replied, getting to his feet.
You smiled and followed suit, holding out your hand to him. You could see the disappointment on some of the other men’s faces, but you were relieved that they also seemed genuinely happy for Gwilym. Maybe you really could leave all the drama behind. 
You and Gwilym waved goodbye and headed out the door. You went out on the streets of London hand in hand.
“I’m gonna let you take the lead here,” you told him. “You live here, right?”
“I do,” he chuckled. “I’m not originally from London, but I live here now.”
“Well, show me around, stud!” you urged.
He laughed again and you were off. Gwilym walked you around almost everywhere that was nearby. He was knowledgeable about the history of everything too. That was one of the most attractive things about Gwilym to you. He was so well-read and intelligent. But it never came off as condescending. He was still incredibly kind and humble as well.
You stopped inside a pub to eat and grab a drink after all the walking. You ordered fish and chips because that’s what you’d always heard in the movies. Gwilym laughed beside you and kissed you on the cheek.
You each had a beer as you waited for the food.
“So,” you said as you sipped. “How are you since we last talked?”
“Very well,” he answered. “I’m excited to be getting to know you better and see where we go from here.”
“I’m excited too,” you said. “Every time I think about our connection, I always feel hopeful.”
“Hopeful?” he questioned.
“Yeah,” you said. “Since you told me your story, I feel like you’re the most hopeful person in the world. What you went through was...unbelievably sad. And yet, you’re still here, looking for love, pursuing it wholeheartedly. It makes me hopeful too.”
He smiled sadly at the glass in front of him.
“I’m flattered by your admiration,” he said. “Losing her - especially the way I did - was the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through. We actually moved to London together from our little town, so coming here with you really is like a fresh start. It’s making me feel like I’m re-discovering it.”
“Is that a good feeling or a bad one?” you asked.
“It’s bittersweet,” he said. “I feel like sometimes, I still miss her so much, and it still hurts like an open wound. And other times I feel like I’m fine.”
“That’s sort of how grief works,” you told him. “Moving on from something like that isn’t a linear projection until you’re over it. You have setbacks. You’re still allowed to be sad and confused sometimes.”
 “You’re right,” he agreed. “I guess what I’m trying to say is...despite all of what happened and all the hurt, you have made me hopeful. What I’m feeling for you is something so good that I fully believe that love can happen for me again.”
A smile spread slowly across your face as he spoke. You leaned over and kissed him sweetly, conveying your absolute adoration of that sentiment. Gwilym was so deserving of love, and you wanted to show him that.
Your food came, and you split the plate between you. It tasted amazing, and as you ate the fries, an idea came to you.
“How good is your eye-mouth coordination?” you asked.
He blinked. “My what?”
You giggled. “Like, if I toss you some fries, can you catch them in your mouth?”
“Depends on how well you throw them,” he retorted. “The real question should be how good is your aim?”
“Oh?” you returned, raising a challenging eyebrow.
“Yes,” he said. “And since we are in the UK, they’re chips. Not fries.”
You snatched one off the plate and tossed it at him, hitting him square in the nose.
“Looks like my aim is pretty good there, chief,” you teased.
You threw another, and this time he caught it in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed.
“Okay, we make a pretty good team,” he said through a laugh.
You threw a few more to him, and he caught most. However, when he threw them to you, your catching abilities were abysmal. You blamed it on Gwilym’s arm, and he let you. 
It felt really good to sit and laugh with him. You felt like many of your conversations with Gwil were so serious. So to be lighthearted and goof around with him showed you another side of him. A side you were glad existed.
After lunch, you continued to walk around a bit. Then Gwilym stopped at an intersection, tugging your hand to stop you from crossing the street. You shot him a quizzical look.
“Gwil?”
“If we turn right here,” he said. “We can get to my flat in five minutes. I’m not presuming anything by asking this, but would you like to come over and see it?”
You looked down so he wouldn’t see the deep blush creeping up in your cheeks. On any other date, this would have implied sex, but you two were on camera, being followed by a whole crew. You weren’t embarrassed by that. You were embarrassed that you were disappointed they were there. You were really attracted to Gwilym, and would not have turned down that invitation outside of this. 
Actually, you weren’t going to turn it down either way.
“Yeah, let’s go,” you said, looking back up at him.
“Great,” he replied with a grin.
God, he was handsome.
Gwilym’s place was humble and cozy. He opened the door and allowed you inside, and you felt like he had just done the same with his heart. Everything about this place screamed “Gwilym Lee.” You walked through the front and into the sitting room, which had aged leather furniture and warm lamplight. The kitchen was smaller than what you were used to in the US, with a vintage look. It was also strictly practical. 
Gwilym also had books everywhere. There was a half shelf in the sitting room beside the fireplace. A corner of the kitchen counter was dedicated to recipe books. They were also randomly on whatever surfaces he had set them down on while reading. You pictured him walking around, nose to the pages, glasses on, focused.
He had few decorations, but there were plenty of pictures. Some of his family and friends. But the majority appeared to be of him with his students. Gwilym was a literature professor, and he was clearly dedicated to his work.
“Would you like to see upstairs?” he offered. “There’s something really special up there I’d like to show you.”
“Please,” you said.
You followed him up the wooden staircase to the second floor. There were only a few rooms up here. Gwilym’s bedroom, a guest bedroom, a hallway bathroom, and one more door at the end of the hall. That was where he led you.
He opened the door, and you gasped at the side. Across each wall, floor to ceiling - bookshelves. Fully stocked, too. There were thick, leather bound reference books. Paperback novels. Limited edition classics. Everything you could imagine for a personal collection.
“This is my library,” he said, looking between the shelves and your face.
You wondered if you looked stupid with your mouth hanging open. Gwilym’s eyes shone as he gazed at you. How beautiful you were to him in this moment was beyond words.
“Gwil, this is incredible!” you cried. “Your very own library!”
He smiled. “Take a look around, see what you like!”
You went to the first shelf to your right and extracted a worn-looking book. The spine was damaged so you couldn’t read the title until you opened it.
“Anna Karenina,” you read.
“Ah, that’s quite a special one,” he said. “Very close to my heart. It’s my grandmother’s copy. If you look at the publication date, you’ll see why it’s so special.”
Your eyes scanned the page until you found it.
“1890?!” you gasped.
“Yeah,” he chuckled. “She inherited it from her great-aunt. Because I collect so many books, she left it to me.”
“That’s amazing,” you said.
“Have you ever read it?” he asked.
“I have,” you said. “It’s a tragic story, but one of my favorite classics. This is a real treasure.”
“It is,” he agreed as you returned it to the shelf.
“You’re free to keep looking, if you like,” he offered.
You did. You perused the shelves and spotted another favorite.
“Oh, Summer of Katya!” you said. “I loved this book!”
“Another tragedy,” he said. 
“Yeah, but what a wild ride,” you replied. “That plot twist had me shook for days.”
“Me as well,” he said. “A great story.”
“So, how many of these books have you actually read?” you wondered as you set Summer of Katya back.
“All of them.”
Your mouth fell open again.
“All of them?”
“All of them,” he laughed. 
“That would take me the rest of my life!” you cried looking around again.
Gwilym watched you as you walked along the shelves, and you stopped to talk about a few more things. A small smile claimed his lips. You stopped talking and met his gaze.
“What?” you wondered. “What’s on your mind?”
“Nothing,” he said with a shrug. “It’s just...you sort of seem to belong here in my home.”
You beamed. “I like feeling like I belong to the things you love, Gwilym.”
He held out his hand, which you took. With it, he pulled you into his arms and kissed the top of your head. You sort of felt like you belonged there too. Maybe you could. And maybe spend much of your life in this room, picking out what to read next before crawling into bed beside your husband. That would be a rather heavenly way to live.
For the evening portion of your date, you and Gwil met at a bar right on the River Thames. Like usual, it was reserved for just the two of you to enjoy your date. You sat down together and you smiled at him before making a small toast.
After you each had a bit of your drinks, you took his hand.
“I really had a great time with you today,” you said. “I feel like, so balanced with you. We can be serious, we can laugh together, and we can have intellectual discussions too. I feel like I can be every part of myself around you.”
“I’m relieved,” he told you. “And I feel the same. I haven’t struggled in opening up to you, and that's really nice.”
“Can I admit something to you?” you asked.
“In the spirit of such honesty, I’d be surprised if you didn’t,” he teased.
You chuckled and glanced down at your lap before looking back at him.
“When you first told me you’re a professor, I was really intimidated by you,” you said.
“Intimidated by me?” he questioned.
“I was nervous that you were going to think that I’m dumb,” you said.
He pursed his mouth in confusion. “W...why would I think that?”
“Because I feel like…” you trailed off. “I dunno, I’m not the most well-read person in the world, and I enjoy things that in the academic world might seem frivolous or silly. I try to keep up with current events, but I get distracted, and I think that all of that put together I -”
“Hold on,” he cut across you. “Y/N, none of that amounts to intelligence. You don’t have to read every book in my library or know every detail of Brexit to convince me that you’re smart. You are smart. A lot smarter than me in many ways.”
“Thank you,” you said, blushing.
“Can I ask you something?” he wondered.
“Of course.”
“Who told you that you’re dumb?”
You blinked, unsure how to answer him.
“Hardly anybody thinks they’re dumb on their own,” he went on. “Which leads me to believe that somebody, somewhere convinced you of it.”
You blinked again, this time to get rid of the tears welling up in your eyes.
“I...I, uh, had an ex who said that to me a lot,” you answered at last. “Anytime I disagreed with him or tried to address something he’d done to upset me, he told me I was being stupid, or that I didn’t understand anything. So, I kind of just became convinced that I wasn’t very smart.”
“Let me tell you what I see,” he said. “In all my conversations with you, I’ve found you to be not only extremely clever, but also funny, kind, and giving. In fact, my admiration has grown so much that I can finally say…” he trailed off.
You had been forming a smile as he spoke, but when he hesitated, it faltered.
“Say what?” you pressed.
“Y/N, I’m falling in love with you,” he said. “It seems unbelievable that it should happen so fast. But you are exactly the kind of girl I’d like to be with for the rest of my life.”
You smiled so wide, you thought your face might crack. Then you leaned over and took his face in your hands to kiss him. 
“Gwilym, I’m so happy to hear you say that,” you told him when you parted. “I feel like we’re really progressing. And I don’t want to stop.” You reached across the table and picked up the rose that was waiting there. “So, Gwilym. Will you accept this rose?”
“You know I will,” he replied, kissing you again.
Gwilym was very much a gentleman when he kissed you. It was slightly reserved, but with enough passion for you to feel how much he wanted to do more. Each move was thoughtful and considerate, just like him.
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Gwilym: I really am falling for Y/N. I hate that she’s been with such terrible men in the past. She deserves so much more. I’d like to give her that.
You pinned the rose to his jacket and then you grinned at each other.
“You ready to go?” you asked.
“Go where?” he wondered.
“One of the most iconic places in London,” you said.
You offered your hand. He took it and followed you out. You walked together down the street until you reached it. The London Eye.
“Oh, God,” he sighed. “We’re really doing this?”
“Yes!” you insisted.
You had a whole pod reserved for the two of you. You were excited as you went up, but the higher you got, you also grew nervous. You clutched Gwilym’s hand.
“Oh, don’t tell me you’re frightened,” he teased. “You went bungee jumping in the mountains!”
“I was scared of that too!” you returned. 
“Come here, cariad,” he said gently, pulling you into his arms once again.
You leaned on him and looked out over the city. The sight was breathtaking. All the lights from the buildings looked like stars. The way they reflected off the river was stunning. You felt like you were looking down from outer space or something.
“This view is beautiful,” you said.
“I like mine better,” he replied.
You faced him and saw that his his eyes were fixed on you instead of London. 
“Smooth,” you giggled.
“Kiss me,” he breathed.
You did. This kiss was different. It was deeper, more intentional, more open than your kisses before. Gwilym was fully giving himself to you and this process. To accent your joy perfectly, a fireworks show began over the river. You hardly noticed their colors or the sounds. Everything was just you and Gwilym.
Back at the house, the men were waiting for a date card. A few guys were bemoaning not being with you right now, but were holding out hope for a one on one. When there was a knock at the door, Richard went to fetch it. He returned with a card.
“It’s a group date,” he said. “Joe, Rami, Allen, Taron, Richard, Mike, and Kenny. Are you ready to meet Her Majesty? Ayyyy-yo! Y/N.”
“Ay-yo?” questioned Allen.
“What, like Freddie Mercury?” suggested Rami.
“What would Freddie Mercury have to do with a date, though?” Taron wondered.
“We’ll figure that out tomorrow,” said Mike. “With all of us on this date, that means…”
“Me and Luke are left,” Ben said with a heavy sigh. “It’s gonna be a two on one.”
A two on one meant a lot of risk because at least one of the people on it would be sent home on the date. It made Ben nervous because even though Luke’s behavior was atrocious, you kept him around, so there had to be a real connection there. Also, he was still angry at Luke for starting that stupid drama in the first place.
“I’m not worried,” Luke said. “Y/N and I have overcome a lot and I think that makes for a strong foundation.”
Ben rolled his eyes. “Whatever, man. Just don’t tell her any more sh*t you’ve made up about me.”
“I didn’t make anything up,” Luke returned. “I heard what I heard.”
“You didn’t hear anything because I. Never. Said. It.” Ben shot back.
“Neither did I,” Joe added. “But let’s leave this in the past, okay? All any of us can do is focus on our own relationships with her.”
Luke and Ben glowered at each other a moment longer before looking away.
The next day, everyone but Gwilym, Ben, and Luke, got on a bus and headed out from the hotel. Mike, Kenny, and Joe had never been to London before, so they were in awe of the city as they made their way to the unknown destination.
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Taron: I feel terrible for Ben and what he’s going to face tomorrow, but I’m also really glad Luke isn’t here to ruin the group date again. Those of us here are actually decent blokes, so I think it’ll be a fun day.
“Is that Wembley Stadium?” Joe wondered, pointing in the direction the bus was heading.
“It is,” said Richard.
The group exchanged apprehensive looks as they were dropped off at the legendary arena and escorted into it.
Inside, on the field, was a stage setup. You stood center stage, smiling at the men. You were wearing all white - a white v-neck tank top, and white pants with a red and yellow racing stripe up the sides, belted at the waist. You also donned a yellow, military style leather jacket. 
“Hello, gentlemen!” you greeted as they climbed up the stairs to join you. “Welcome to Wembley Stadium! How many of y’all have been here before?”
Taron, Richard, Allen, and Rami raised their hands. Joe, Mike, and Kenny did not. They were also the ones still looking around, while the others stayed focused on you.
“Well, surely you all know about the legendary concert that took place here in 1985, Live Aid,” you said, and they nodded. “And I’m sure you know which act stole the show.”
“Queen,” said Rami.
“Yep!” you confirmed. “So we’re gonna have some fun today. You’re all going to be dressed like Freddie Mercury and give me your best Live Aid performance.”
Their eyes widened as they looked at you, and you bit back a laugh.
“Don’t worry, you’ll be lip-syncing,” you assured them. “There also won’t be an audience. The person who does the best job gets to talk to me first at the cocktail party tonight.”
“Will you be the judge?” Taron asked.
“Actually, I won’t, I’m just enjoying the show,” you said. “The judges are some very special people who are quite familiar with Freddie.”
“Oh my God…” Rami said under his breath.
You smirked. “Guys, please welcome Queen and Adam Lambert!”
The guys clapped as Brian May, Roger Taylor, and Adam Lambert emerged onto the stage. They first hugged you and then turned to face the men.
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Richard: I can’t believe this...it’s f***ing Queen! We’re on a date with Queen! I mean - we’re on a date with Y/N - but Queen is there! I’m blown away right now!
“Hullo, guys,” said Brian with a gentle wave. “We just wanted to let you all know - don’t be nervous. This is meant to be something fun to show Y/N you can come out of your shell a bit.”
“Yes, have fun,” Roger agreed. “Don’t be afraid to make an arse out of yourself. Freddie certainly wasn’t.”
Everyone chuckled.
“So, you guys have fifteen minutes to change and decide on one song from the Live Aid set you want to do,” Adam explained. “You can watch the clip of your choice as much as you want in that fifteen minutes.”
“The costumes are backstage,” you said. “You guys ready?”
They nodded at you. 
“Okay, fifteen minutes starts now!”
While the guys got changed and prepared, you and the band went around and checked up on them. You went over to Mike first, who was watching the video of Live Aid and scrubbing through it quickly.
“How’s it going?” you asked.
“Okay,” he replied. “I don’t really know any Queen songs, so I’m listening for something that sounds familiar.”
“You know We Will Rock You?” you wondered.
“I know those words of it,” he laughed.
You giggled. “Well, I’d go for that one, then. It’s second to last.”
“Thank you,” he sighed.
You looked over and saw Rami chatting with Brian. Richard was talking to Roger, and Allen and Kenny were talking to Adam. Everyone was in the iconic white tank top and light wash jeans. They also had the studded armband and mustache. You went over to Taron next.
“How’re you feeling?” you asked. 
“I know what song I’ll do,” he told you. “Bohemian Rhapsody. That way I can sit behind a piano for most of it.”
“Nice,” you chuckled. “You play, right?”
“I do,” he said. “Although, as you learned on our Disney date, I’m much more of an Elton John man than Queen. Don’t get me wrong, I adore them, but Elton is more my style.”
“I’d love to hear you play some Elton for me sometime,” you said. “But honestly, now is the time to get out of your comfort zone and show me your edge, Taron.”
“I’ll do anything for you, love,” he replied with a grin.
Then you headed over to Rami.
“Hey, sweetie,” you said as he pulled you into a hug.
When you parted, you had to take a moment. Rami really looked like Freddie for a split second. With the mustache and the clothes...he had even styled his hair. He was getting really into this.
“Woah, you look great!” you said.
“Thanks,” he returned. “I’m really excited for this.”
“I know you’re an actor, so you’re not too worried,” you joked. “Which song did you pick?”
“Radio GaGa,” he told you. 
“Good choice,” you praised.
You chatted with Rami for another moment before moving on to Richard.
“Just be grateful we picked Live Aid and not one of our shows from the seventies,” Roger was saying as you approached. “You’d all be in leotards.”
“I dunno, I think I could make it work,” Richard returned with a chuckle.
“I definitely think you could make it work,” you agreed. “How’s it going over here?”
“Pretty good,” Richard said. “I know what I’m going to do.”
“Awesome!” you said. “You a big Queen fan?”
“Massive Queen fan,” he told you. “This is kind of a dream for me.”
“I think you’ve found your man, Y/N,” Roger teased. “This one’s clearly got the best taste.”
You laughed.
The fifteen minutes went by more quickly than you anticipated, but most of the guys seemed ready. There were a few nerves you could feel, but they weren’t too bad. Kenny was up first.
Kenny did “We Are the Champions” and he was pretty good. He clearly knew the words, but he was also nervous and shy. You found that surprising since he was a pro wrestler and part of his act was to put on a bit of a show. You cut him some slack, though. This was out of his element.
Taron was second, and he was better. His performance did come out more like Elton than like Freddie, but he was really feeling the music. You could tell he had wanted to play and sing himself, so he was holding back a little bit.
Mike was third. He did “We Will Rock You” and had a lot of energy, but it was more his own than like Freddie. You didn’t mind, since you liked Mike’s style, but it didn’t bode well for him as far as the competition went. 
Allen was fourth, and he did “Hammer to Fall.” So far, he came the closest to looking like Freddie up on stage. He was upbeat and had obviously studied the movements. The only problem was that it came off a little too rehearsed.
Richard went next. He had the same idea as Taron to do “Bohemian Rhapsody” so he wouldn’t have to move around so much. He was even more reserved than Taron. Evidently, he was not much of a performer at all, despite how much he loved the music.
Joe was sixth. He did “Crazy Little Thing Called Love.” It was similar in idea to Taron and Richard, because he got to use an instrument. Joe could actually play guitar, so he mimed it well. Like Mike, he was more Joe than Freddie. Joe wasn’t a shy person at all, so he was still  entertaining.
Finally, it was Rami. From the first notes of “Radio GaGa,” you could tell there was something different about Rami’s performance. Every move, every step, every turn was intentional, but looked effortlessly Freddie. It took you off guard. Rami looked the most like Freddie, and with this performance, you were convinced he had a spiritual connection to the man. You looked over at Brian and Roger. Brian had tears in his eyes. Roger was closing his mouth just as you looked. They saw it too. Adam placed a comforting hand on each of their shoulders.
When Rami finished, the whole arena was deathly silent. All eyes were fixed on Rami, who stood breathless on stage, but looking proud. He also looked like...not Rami. That last note rang out, and for a moment, it was as if Freddie himself stood there.
Finally, Roger cleared his throat. 
“Well done,” he choked out. “We’ll just need a...a moment to uh, discuss.”
The band walked out of earshot for a moment and you approached Rami.
“I think you shook them up,” you said. “You certainly shook me up.”
He shot you a worried glance.
“In a good way,” you assured him. “Believe me, you were incredible.”
The band returned and appeared to have recovered from their shock.
“Everybody did a fine job,” Brian began. “Just remember to not be so shy. Show Y/N that you can open up and be yourself.”
“This really brought me back,” Roger added. “But one person in particular really captured Freddie’s spirit today.”
“And that person is Rami,” Adam announced. 
You let out a cheer and clapped for Rami, and the rest of the men joined you. You hugged him around the neck as you congratulated him.
“Thanks, Y/N,” he said bashfully.
“Congratulations, Rami,” Brian said. “Enjoy your time with Y/N first tonight, and remember to use it wisely.”
Everyone thanked the band for their part, and got autographs before they left. Then it was time for the evening portion of the date. It was still at Wembley, in a private box, which overlooked the field. The stage set up had been removed already, so it was returned to its sport ready look. It was still lit up in the darkness by the stadium lights.
You met the men in the box and gave a toast. Then, you took Rami by the hand and led him out. Also reserved for you was the next box over, so you could have private conversations. You and Rami went in there and sat down to chat.
“You were seriously amazing today,” you told him. “That was like, Oscar worthy.”
He chuckled. “I dunno about all that, but I definitely had fun. Freddie Mercury is pretty special to me.”
“Why’s that?” you wondered.
“Well, we sort have a lot in common,” he said. “We’re both kinda awkward brown boys from immigrant families, but with a lot of dreams.”
“I can see that,” you said. “You feel that strongly about acting?”
“I do,” he said. “I take it very seriously. I believe in myself, and I hope that someday I can be big enough to win an Oscar. I wanna be like Freddie, where kids who look like me can start believing that they can succeed too.”
You loved that idea and what it represented. The only thing for you was that actors were away a lot, and you wanted to raise a family. With a partner.
“How does that dream fall in with your desire to have a family?” you asked.
“Lots of actors have families,” he said. “I’m already settled in LA, where most of the jobs are, and that’s where I’d want to raise my family. And I’d work with my partner to make sure my schedule didn’t interfere with important things. I know it won’t be easy, but I am family oriented, and I know I can do both. But the last thing I wanna do is settle.”
“Settle?” you questioned.
“I mean, I don’t want to take some safe, nine-to-five job just because I want to get married and have a family,” he said. “I want to pursue my dreams so that my kids will have someone they can really be proud of. Someone who didn’t give up on his passion.”
You smiled. “I like that. You’re a very driven person, Rami, I hadn’t noticed that about you before.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re learning now,” he said. “I am driven and focused and there’s a lot I want out of life.”
You both paused to sip your drinks.
“What about you?” he said. “What are you passionate about?”
“I’m most passionate about family,” you said. “I didn’t really have those connections as a kid. My family isn’t very close. I want that unit, that strength that comes with being together.”
“That’s a beautiful sentiment,” he said. “Is there anything else?”
“Like what?” you wondered.
“Like hobbies,” he said. “Y/N, don’t you have interests besides that?”
“I read a lot,” you told him. “And I like fashion and beauty, but those are just normal girl things.”
“Are you kidding?” he returned. “There’s a lot there to go with. Do you ever design your own stuff?”
You blushed. “I...well, I do sort of have this dream of starting my own clothing label.”
“That’s awesome!” he said excitedly. “Tell me more!”
“Well, I’d want to use all recycled materials so we’re not being wasteful,” you said. “That way it’s like thrifting, but you’ll still get the latest styles. Everything would just be re-designed and…” you trailed off. “Sorry. It’s kind of a silly idea.”
“Not at all!” he insisted. “I think it’s a great idea. Environmentally friendly and everything. That’s amazing, Y/N. Don’t doubt yourself.”
“You certainly help me believe in it,” you replied, all embarrassment fading away at his enthusiasm. 
“I want to help you believe in yourself,” he said. “It’s important to me.”
“It is?”
“Yes, Y/N,” he said. “I want to be there for you. I’m falling in love with you and I want to help you see yourself through my eyes.”
Your heart skipped a beat. You grinned. 
“You’re falling in love with me?”
“More and more every day,” he assured you.
With that, he kissed you. Rami’s kisses were always deeply passionate and romantic. It made you feel like you two were on the cover of a romance novel or something. You felt like you were in your own romance novel because you were falling for Rami too. He was just so special.
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Rami: I really am falling in love with Y/N. I can just see a wonderful future with her as my wife. She’s everything you could ever want.
After Rami, Joe wanted to see you. Your time with Joe went as well as it usually did. You laughed together a lot and discussed the date. He reassured you that he was falling for you. You were tempted to say it back, but hesitated. You felt strongly for Joe, but there was still more to explore there.
Allen pulled you after Joe. You were still holding back with Allen, and you felt that he was too. He had told you more of his story on your one on one, but since then, you hadn’t had a serious conversation. You didn’t feel uncomfortable around him or anything, but there was something more you wanted. Like he was only giving himself partially to this. You wanted him to give everything.
Richard came next. Similar to Allen, he held back from you. He had divulged even less information about himself. Less than any of the other men there. Richard was fun and easygoing, but you wanted him to dig deeper. He just wasn’t going there. You needed to find out why.
Taron followed after Richard. Taron was not afraid of giving his heart to you, and you could feel it ever since that one on one. Every time you spoke to him, the relationship moved forward, in the right direction. You always looked forward to your time with him, and today was no different.
There was a piano in the private box, and Taron made good on his promise to play for you. He began with “Your Song” by Elton John, one of your favorites. His voice was swoon-worthy, and you loved listening. Each time he sang, you pictured him in your house together, singing your kids to sleep or just serenading you before bed. He felt like home to you.
“Life really is wonderful with you in the world, Y/N,” he said as he finished. “It’s becoming pretty difficult to imagine my life without you in it.”
“That’s sweet,” you said. “I’d have a hard time without you, too.”
“Really, Y/N,” he said. “I’m falling in love with you. Hard.”
You met his gaze, heart racing with joy.
“I’m so happy you told me,” you whispered. “You’re amazing, Taron.”
He kissed you. Short and sweet because neither of you could stop smiling.
Mike and Kenny also made things difficult on you because they both told you they were falling in love as well. You felt like all of them deserved roses tonight, but you knew who you wanted the rose to go to. As you all gathered back in the original box, you picked it up off the table.
“Thank you all for an incredible day,” you said. “We got a bit of a rock concert and I got to see you all just have a good time. But I wanna give this rose to someone who really proved himself today. Who showed me something new and moved our relationship forward.”
You found Rami’s eyes.
“Rami, will you accept this rose?”
“I will,” he assured you, getting to his feet.
You pinned it to his jacket as he kissed your cheek. Then, you bid them all goodnight. You were still riding the high of the day when you remembered that the following day, you had your two on one with Ben and Luke.
The date card arrived for Ben and Luke while the rest of the men were at the cocktail party with you. Gwilym retrieved it and read it out loud.
“Ben and Luke,” he said. “I want us to grow. Love, Y/N.”
“Let’s just get this over with,” Ben groaned.
“What, eager to go home?” Luke taunted.
Ben rolled his eyes and went to his room for the night.
The next day, Ben and Luke each placed their luggage by the door. Whoever went home, the producers would come and take their luggage to the airport. The two men were driven by car to meet you in a lovely garden and park. Everything was blooming so it was the perfect time of year for a date like this. You just wished you weren’t dreading it so much. One of them was going home, but you felt like you needed time with both of them. Hopefully today would be enough.
“Hi, guys,” you greeted, trying to sound chipper as they hugged you one by one. “So today, we’re having a picnic in the park. It’s really beautiful here, so let’s have a good day, yeah?”
“O’course,” Ben agreed.
“Definitely,” Luke added.
“Okay, let’s go.”
You led them over the set up that was reserved for you. It was a small table with three chairs around it. You sat first - in between them - and then poured everyone a glass of champagne. The champagne was more for you, really. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife, and you needed to feel at ease. These two had such animosity between them.
“So, Luke, you wanna go talk?” you asked.
“Sure, yeah,” he agreed.
You walked around a hedge to another small table. You took a swig of your drink and then looked at him.
“So, I know you’re not over everything that happened in Asheville, and neither am I,” you said.
“No, I’m over it,” he protested. “Really, I’m not mad at you anymore. I wanna move on.”
“I wanna move on too,” you said. “But I feel like we have to talk about this because this is a disagreement on something fundamental, and I don’t think you understand that.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Like, you were angry at me for taking off my clothes in front of Joe,” you said. “Because of your beliefs, you felt like it was disrespectful. I don’t know any other way to tell you that I don’t share those beliefs and you can’t force them on me.”
“I don’t want to force them on you,” he said. “But I think that you should be more aware of our feelings in this and behave - y’know - properly.”
That familiar anger stirred in the pit of your stomach.
“Okay, Luke, I behaved just fine -”
“Really?” he scoffed. “Getting naked in front of a guy on your first date with him is fine behavior?”
You could have screamed.
“Oh my God,” you sighed. “Let’s get one thing straight, okay? I can do whatever the hell I want. This is my journey, it’s my body, and whatever I decide to do with it is up to me and not subject to your approval.”
“Y/N, I’m just trying to help you,” he said gently. “I prayed about it, and I feel like my purpose here is to save you.”
“To save me?” you questioned.
“You’re being led astray by these other men,” he said. “But together, we can -”
“Okay, Luke, stop,” you said. “We’re not getting into theological arguments today. Clearly, it doesn’t matter to you that I don’t want to hear it. The other thing we need to address is why you lied about Joe and Ben.”
“I didn’t lie,” he insisted. “I know what I heard.”
“But none of the other guys heard it,” you reminded him. “And if they said it out loud, they said it to someone with ears, so they must have heard it. Just be honest and tell me why you did it.”
“I know I heard that conversation, Y/N,” he said firmly. “I’m not a liar.”
“So literally every other guy in that house is?” you challenged. 
“Y/N, please,” he begged. “I love you. I want this more than anything. And look at what we’ve overcome.”
“Luke, we haven’t overcome anything!” you cried. “We’re still working this out because you’re not being honest with me!”
“I’m telling you my truth!” he returned. 
A beat passed in uncomfortable silence.
“Do you believe me when I say that I love you?” he asked.
You held his gaze. Then you took a deep breath.
“No,” you said heavily.
He looked away, unable to form words.
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Ben: I’m kind of nervous about today. She’s kept him around long enough for me to think there must really be something there that I’m not seeing. I just hope my connection with her is stronger.
You and Luke returned to where Ben was still waiting. Nothing else had been said. You grabbed Ben’s hand and led him away next, desperate for some relief. Luke made you feel like every step of this process was such a battle. Ben excited you, and you hoped he still did.
“How are you?” he asked.
“Okay,” you said. “I’m sorry to put you through this, I know it’s not easy.”
“No worries, love,” he said. “You’re worth all of this. Every part of this journey.”
You smiled, and you felt warmth returning to your body. You realized within seconds of talking to Ben that Luke made you feel cold and closed off. Ben made you feel warm and open. That was the feeling you were looking for.
“How are you?” you asked him.
“I’m perfect, now I’m with you,” he replied. “I’m not going to lie, watching the other guys going out with you throughout the week isn’t easy, but I’m here for the long haul. I’m ready to stick it out if it means you and me at the end.”
You leaned into his chest and hummed happily. He wrapped his arms around you. Then he pressed his lips to the top of your head. You felt cared for and respected.
“I can’t tell you how relieved I was that you believed me last week,” he said. “Knowing that you trust me, and you’re willing to hear from everyone, it makes me fall for you all the more. You’re fair and kind and patient. I dunno how you put up with the lot of us.”
You giggled and then looked up at him.
“Well, you’re all so handsome, it’s hard to stay mad at you,” you teased.
“I see,” he joked back. “You’re just in it for the eye candy.”
“Haven’t you heard?” you asked sarcastically. “I’m actually looking for a trophy husband.”
He chuckled. “It’s almost hard for me to joke about, since I actually like almost everyone.”
You smiled. “Really?”
“You’ve got a fantastic group here,” he said. “As heartbroken as I’d be if it’s not me and you, I know you’d be in good hands.”
“That’s so sweet, Ben,” you said. 
You felt such a soft affection for him in this moment. That comment made one thing abundantly clear to you: Ben wanted only what was best for you, whatever made you happiest, even if it wasn’t him. You wondered how he’d never been in love before, when he gave it so freely and selflessly. Your value to him did not hinge on your behavior with the other men.
You chatted with Ben a while longer, just trying to forget about what Luke had said. Plus, you liked Ben a lot and enjoyed talking to him. It was quickly becoming more than liking him, which scared you a little, but you knew he would be there to catch you once you fell. You were still teetering on the edge.
Your decision was made when you returned to where Luke waited. There was no need to give him any more chances. You didn’t trust him anymore, and you had such different beliefs, it never would work out. You sat down and picked up the rose.
“I’m gonna be perfectly honest and say that this was not a very difficult decision for me today,” you said. “So far, this has been the easiest decision I’ve made.”
You looked at Ben and decided to get right to it.
“Ben, will you accept this rose?”
You heard Luke suck in a soft breath as you and Ben stood up. You pinned the rose on him and hugged him tight. Then you looked at Luke.
“Can I walk you out?” you asked.
“Yeah, okay,” he said, still dazed.
“I’ll be right back,” you told Ben.
You and Luke walked together toward the car that was waiting to take him to the airport. Ben heaved a relieved sigh and sat back down with a wide grin on his face.
Back at the house, Joe was closest to the door when he heard it open. The producer was there to take the luggage.
“Guys!” Joe yelled. “It’s happening!”
The rest of the men rushed to the door to find out who it was. They watched with bated breath as the producer’s hand stretched out and grabbed Luke’s luggage. They all roared with delight and began jumping and hugging each other as the door closed again. Luke was leaving at last!
“Hold on, let me get champagne!” Gwilym cried, jogging to the kitchen.
They all followed him, still laughing and congratulating each other. Gwilym handed out the glasses and Joe stood on the counter to make a toast.
“To Ben,” he said. “For getting that f***er out of here at last.”
“To Ben!” the others echoed before taking a drink.
“And to Y/N,” Rami said. “For making the right choice.”
“Y/N!” they cried, and they all downed their drinks.
Back on the date, you walked Luke to the black van waiting for him. You stood outside the door to let him say something. 
“I just…” he trailed off. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m sorry, Luke,” you said. “We’re just too different. We have different beliefs, different values. And we couldn’t move past those things.”
“But I love you,” he said.
You shook your head. “I don’t think you do. I think you love the woman that you want me to be. The version of me that you created who does take part in your faith and share that with you. But that’s not who I am.”
“I…” he lost words again.
“I really am sorry,” you said. “I hope you find that person.”
“Thanks,” he said dully.
You opened the door for him. He slid into the seat. You closed the door and watched the car pull away. You were certain you had done the right thing. Luke was so wrong for you in so many ways. But you meant what you said. You were sure that girl was out there somewhere for him. But he was not for you.
You hurried back to Ben and leapt into his arms when you saw him. You kissed him as you wrapped your legs around his waist.
“It’s just you and me tonight, baby!” you cried. 
“Thank God!” he returned.
That night, you and Ben went to a fine restaurant and had a wonderful dinner. It was similar to your one on one, where the conversation flowed. You talked about serious things and lighthearted things. Neither of you brought up Luke again. Ben looked as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
After dinner, you walked around nearby and saw a street performer playing the cello. The melody was soaring and beautiful. Ben spun you into his arms and began to sway with you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and stood with him, heart full. He opened his eyes to meet yours.
“Y/N, I’m falling in love with you,” he said simply.
You saw how much he meant it in those beautiful green eyes of his. Tears welled up in yours. You were no longer teetering. You slipped right off the edge.
“I’m falling in love with you too,” you returned, without thinking.
You were not supposed to say “love” to anyone but the person you got engaged to, but you didn’t feel bad about breaking the rules for Ben. He had shown you today how much you meant to him. And he meant that much to you too. If you weren’t with him at the end of this, you wished only for him to have a happy and fulfilling life. You genuinely hoped he was at the end of this though because you weren’t ready to let him go. You weren’t sure you ever would be.
The following day, you once again decided to cancel the cocktail party. You knew where your heart was, and you didn’t want to drag out the whole night when your mind was made up. So when you arrived at the hotel, you were ready.
The hotel had a lovely ballroom on the first floor where you were having the rose ceremony. You walked in and forced a smile. This was going to be a pretty tough one. Two men would be leaving that you really liked.
“Sorry again for the cocktail party,” you said. “But I really am just trying to follow my heart.”
You waited a beat before picking up the first rose. There were only four.
“Joe,” you called.
He walked forward proudly.
“Joe, will you accept this rose?”
“I will.”
He returned to the group. You picked up the next rose.
“Taron,” you said.
He beamed at you and jogged up.
“Taron, will you accept this rose?” you asked with a smile, since his was contagious. 
“Of course.”
You pinned it on him and he walked back over. You saw Richard take a deep breath.
“Richard,” you said.
He exhaled before walking over.
“Richard, will you accept this rose?”
“Always.”
As Richard returned to the group, Chris Harrison walked out.
“Y/N, gentlemen,” he said. “This is the final rose tonight. When you’re ready, Y/N.”
You picked up the rose. You found the man you wanted to give it to.
“Allen,” you said.
You saw the relief wash over him as he approached you.
“Allen, will you accept this rose?”
“I certainly will,” he assured you.
He walked back over to the group. Mike and Kenny looked dejected, and you understood why. It was never easy.
“Kenny, Mike, I’m sorry,” Chris said. “Take a moment, say your goodbyes.”
They took a while to say goodbye to the guys, which did sort of make you feel good. You liked that the remaining men were friends.
Kenny came up to you first.
“I’m sorry,” you said, suddenly choking on the words. You weren’t sure when the tears started. “You deserve so much -”
“Don’t, Y/N,” he said gently. “It was a pleasure getting to know you.”
You nodded and he pulled you into a hug. 
“You’re gonna be amazing,” he whispered to you.
With that, he left and headed to the car waiting for him. Mike came up next. You actually sobbed. Mike was such a wonderful man, and you hated that you weren’t there with him.
“I’m so sorry,” you sniffled.
“It’s okay,” he assured you with a smile. “You’re beautiful and strong, okay? I know you’ll find your happiness.”
“You will too,” you replied softly.
He reached over to wipe away a tear with his thumb.
“Good luck, Y/N.”
He too, departed.
The remaining men moved forward to engulf you in a group hug. While you were sure of the decisions you had made, you hated to hurt people, and both Kenny and Mike had told you they were falling for you. But you couldn’t get there with them, and it was terrible. They were great guys. You just knew they weren’t right for you.
“So,” you said, fanning your face a bit. “Next, we’re going to -”
“Y/N!” someone bellowed from the lobby of the hotel.
Your brow furrowed. 
“Is that…” you trailed off, eyes going wide with horror.
Then he appeared in the doorway of the ballroom.
“Luke!” you cried. “What are you doing here?!”
“I’m not giving up on us,” he said, marching toward you.
His body language looked dangerous. Joe was closest to you and you reached for him. He immediately caught on and wrapped his arms around you, placing himself between you and Luke.
The other men stood in front of the two of you, not allowing Luke any closer.
“She sent you home, Luke,” said Richard darkly. “You can’t be here.”
“I just wanna talk, Y/N,” Luke said, ignoring Richard and trying to look around him. “Y/N, please! I just wanna work this out!”
“Well, I don’t!” you returned. “Just go!”
“I know there’s something here!” he insisted. “There’s gotta be! Don’t give up!”
You peered at him around Joe’s arm.
“No, there isn’t!” you shouted. “You’re scaring me, Luke. Just leave.”
He moved forward, but Ben placed a hand on his chest.
“Not a step closer,” Ben warned.
“Just stay out of this,” Luke spat. 
“She asked you to leave, Luke,” Allen said. “So go.”
“No, I’m not giving up,” Luke said. 
“Oh, my God,” you whispered into Joe’s chest. “Oh, my God.”
Joe lowered his lips to your ear. “Don’t worry. We’re not gonna let him anywhere near you.”
“This is just crazy,” you went on. “He’s acting crazy.”
“Y/N, please!” Luke continued to plead.
Chris Harrison at last approached, accompanied by security guards. Chris went directly to you.
“What do you wanna do, Y/N?” he asked. “Do you wanna talk to him?”
“No!” you insisted. “I want him to leave!”
“Okay,” Chris said. He turned to Luke. “Luke, it’s time to go.”
The security guards stepped toward him, but he stepped away.
“Wait!” he pressed. “Wait, Y/N - just - please. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want me here. That’s the only way I’ll believe it.”
You met his gaze with a scowl.
“I don’t want you here,” you said venomously. “Get out.”
He sighed, shoulders sagging. Then, he straightened up, turned on his heel, and stormed out. You hoped that was the last you ever saw of him.
“You alright?” Joe asked.
You nodded. “Yeah, I’m good.” You looked at Chris. “He did actually leave, right?”
He nodded. “We made sure of it.”
You took a deep breath.
“You wanna tell them where we’re going next?” he asked.
You let yourself smile, even though you were still a bit shaken.
“Yeah,” you said. You addressed the men. “Guys, we’re going to Killarney, Ireland!”
Allen whooped and pumped a fist in the air. You laughed. You knew he’d be excited to be back home in Ireland. But the rest of the guys seemed excited too. You gazed at them in awe. It was hard to believe that you had already narrowed it down to seven guys. Seven incredible guys. You couldn’t ask for more.
That night, as you packed in your hotel room, you heard a knock at the door. For a moment, you feared Luke had come to speak to you again, but you told production you didn’t want him near you. Still, you peeked through the peephole before answering. The man behind it took your breath away. You thought your eyes were playing tricks on you. It couldn’t be! Could it?
You opened the door apprehensively.
“Jamie?”
To be continued…
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quarktrinity · 5 years
Text
hey so remember that post i made talking about how connor murphy is an abusive shithole? id like to make some adjustments to that.
in that post, i said that people are still allowes to like/relate to connor murphy and/or evan hansen. i only said that because if i didnt constantly cater to the opinions of deh stans, id be burned at the stake for it, and even when i did cater to them, i got people saying that connor actually isnt abusive, and that i should "let people enjoy things, karen".
well you know what? i literally dont give a shit right now.
dear evan hansen is a shitty garbage musical and anyone who tries to defend it needs to read the fuck out of this post.
lets address the elephant in the room. connor murphy abuses his sister. this shouldnt be up for debate, its literally part of his character, and basically stated in the script, which i own. if you "disagree" with this, i think you need to watch that show again.
so now that thats out of the way, i can go further into detail about this.
deh portrays connor murphy as a ~complicated~ individual, and says that even though he did bad things, the world shouldve been more welcoming and kind to him, and his parents shouldve tried harder to help him.
and sure, okay, his parents definitely sucked at trying to give their son the help he needed, but are we actually just going to skim over the fact that hes abusive? he threatened his sister and treated her like shit daily, thats not ~complicated~, thats called abuse, and the writers of this show cant fucking put this kid on the pedestal they put him on without giving the impression that they think abuse is justifiable.
you cant have it both ways. you cant have a character be irredeemable, then try to portray them in a sympathetic light. it makes you look like an asshole.
so if connors such a shithole, why do so many people like him?
well, lets just say that if sincerely me wasnt a song, people wouldnt give a shit about him. this is a classic case of "piece of media has a character say theyre gay, then pass it off as a joke to appeal to the straights, and lgbt+ fans eat it up." once fans had that impression of him, they couldnt let it go.
but that isnt who connor is. thats literally the point of sincerely me. connor isnt the cutesy sad baby you think he is, hes an abusive piece of shit who doesnt deserve the attention he got.
you might say: "but he was depressed!" "but his parents were neglectful!" "but he was ostracized!" and to that i say:
okay. that sucks. so?
how would any of that make him a sympathetic character? how would any of that justify giving the positive attention connor got? short answer: it wouldnt. long answer: you guys love saying "that doesnt make it okay, but..." but what you really mean is "i dont apply critical thinking to the characters i like because im stubborn about holding onto the first impression i had of them, so i dont care how objectively horrible they are, as long as i can tangentially relate to them via pride flags and neurodivergency, im good."
to portray connor the way he was portrayed is unacceptable. i literally cannot express how disgusted i am at this show and its fans.
moving on to the other huge asshole of this show, evan hansen himself.
where do i even start with evan hansen? well, lets make a list of all the reprehensible things hes done in the musical:
gaslighted an abuse victim into thinking her abuser loved her as a method to pursue her romantically
lied to said abusers entire family, painting a picture of a perfect child that definitely was nowhere close to who he actually was
antagonized his mother, claiming she saw him as "broken" when she was just trying to help him with his anxiety
hurt literally every single person in the musical and didnt hesitate to go straight for the jugular on every one of them
defended connor by saying "life is messy, people are complicated, blah blah blah blah false morality"
but sure hes adorable because anxiety.
evan hansen does not come anywhere close to what people call "morally gray" or "a good person doing bad things." i seriously cant think of a single thing he did in the musical that was solely for someone elses benefit. hes a selfish person. thats his whole thing. he wants attention so bad that he was willing to do outrageously bad things to get it. this isnt a matter of anxiety and getting caught up in a lie that got too big to let go, its a matter of being selfish. thats it. he isnt a good person. stop acting like he is.
the final thing id like to say is to those who identify as connorkin or evankin, or just relate to either of them as characters. to those people, i can say either 1) you dont know these characters as well as you think you do, and youre mistaken, OR, 2) you literally identify with one of these piles of human garbage, go away. im not going to waste my time arguing with people who relate to abusers/people who defend abusers
and if you think ive said "abuse/abuser" too much, and that i should find more creative ways to criticize connors character, i hate to break it to you, but theres not much else to say about him. the majority of whats said about him in dear evan hansen is a lie, so all i know about him is: 1) abuser, 2) some incident with a printer, so hes evidently a violent person, 3) weed, 4) depression? i guess? and 5) just a general asshole
thats kind of it
dear evan hansen spits in the face of abuse victims. it spits in the face of those who have depression or anxiety. it spits in the face of suicidal teenagers. it spits in the face of everything it pretends it cares about.
its a disgusting and damaging show, and id greatly appreciate it if i never had to see anyone sing its praises ever again.
bye.
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blatherkatt · 6 years
Note
i just started reading your blumenthal kids reunionfic and i LOVE IT! Its so good and so full of potential and angst and I LOVE IT!!!💞💞💞 The way you write Eodwulf is soooo good hes such a mess and so gay help him. and Astrid Omg... I cant wait for more of her i checked out some of your posts on here and shes just great??? You've clearly put a lot of thought into them with the child designs and stuff, did you have any major inspo for the two of them like songs or other characters and stuff???
hey tumblr dont…delete part of my answer what the heck
anyway!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH,,, ed ( @tactfulgrimalkin ) is the one doing the actual writing but we plan everything together and i edit and do artwork so he deserves lots of love for the great writing…i dont remember what else i had here before tumblr deleted it so i hope thats the gist of it 
eodwulf is a gay disaster of a bastard man and astrid is SO fun and im SO GLAD UR EXCITED TOO BECAUSE WE SURE ARE
anyway you just opened pandora’s box and i’m very sorry for the length of the rest of this answer but here we go prepare for some cursed content necessary to answer that question ( | ) w ( | ) it was a Wild Ride getting these two characters to where they are boy howdy 
so the thing is in order to explain how we created these characters i actually have to get into the origins of the fic on the whole because the two are inextricably linked, and also, the origins of this fic are incredibly cursed and you can send all ur hatemail right here go on blast us we’re ready 
but we were talking about caleb and how we’re both excited for whenever astrid and eodwulf turn up, and the thought came up for basically the rough skeleton of that scene in chapter 2: 
“hey how messed up would it be if instead of them both hunting him down like we’re expecting…one of them comes in with a huge savior complex and sincerely thinks he’s delusional and should still be in the asylum, how MESSED UP would that be” 
…and then shortly after that, this happened 
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thats the cursed part dont say i didnt warn u but listen you know we’re right
also that pic of caduceus didnt exist back then i went back and got this screenshot just to share the curse with you all
ANYWAY
in classic us format we got carried away and eodwulf got slotted into the role of that scene in chapter two and his character was largely developed around that scene, like, what kind of person would still be clinging to caleb after all this time to that degree to make that happen? and what was come up with was an extremely avoidant person clinging to a fantasy version of things wherein they don’t have to fight
(eodwulf was developed into a Person before astrid, i should note at this point, and ed did most of that developing; i took point on astrid later on)
but around this time i went “screw it im gonna do some concept art we’re both in too deep now” so here’s some of that for u guys 
started with them all as teens and did a couple sketches as well as one of baby (well. teen. so baby) caleb/bren/we were calling him felix at the time as some of u probably already know 
first draft had astrid with longer hair than eodwulf lmao check this out 
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flipped the hair length on those two which was for the best because at the time we were imagining eodwulf as a bit more mischevious which is another thing that got reversed over time now astrids the prankster and eodwulfs the overworked mom friend because bren takes astrid’s ideas and makes them SO MUCH WORSE but he still looks better with longer hair and then i played around w/ colors for a while and wound up w/ this
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voila, the initial kid concepts, to which subtle yet vital changes were  made after time. if any of you are curious about if im frustrated that that’s still the best i’ve ever drawn eodwulf’s nose the answer is yes. yes i am. 
astrid’s hair is not messy enough, theres not enough freckles, and she does not look ready to fight the entire world for a dare. 0/10. 
anyway then i did adult versions which look WAY OFF NOW LMAO 
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eodwulf with way too much beard, looking far too messy when he ought to look very clean so that he can hide how much of a disaster he actually is, and also a glimpse into the very boring Ice Queen/Heartless Bitch we vaguely had astrid as to start with. even more out of character tho is the earring, astrid as she is today would absolutely never tolerate an earring unless she absolutely had to, girl’s got sensory issues but she didn’t back then. ALSO STILL NOT ENOUGH FRECKLE 
anyWHO a while after this it was decided that eodwulf has ADHD, something both the authors have a whole lot of lmao, and that was the point where ed REALLY took off and developing eodwulf went out of control and we both went Well I Guess We’re Gonna Have To Write This At Some Point Now
and with that happening is when developing astrid took more priority i think, because man, at that point in the game she came way too close to that really  annoying trope that shows up in fanfic a lot wherein The Girl is A Bitch who is Getting In The Way Of ~*The Yaois*~ and thats like, thats bad. we knew from the outset we were absolutely not setting this up as a love triangle because we both hate those but even w/ her having no romantic relationship to either of the two, like…she was kind of just There and the one who was most loyal to trent (the only thing of her original characterization that really stuck, honestly) and sooo boring???? 
so like, and i say this honestly, i managed to COMPLETELY FORGET that “reverse sasuke” cursed comment from the beginning of all this and STILL go “well what if we made her more like caleb’s rival that’d be fun” 
and that’s how astrid sorta wound up accidentally morphing into the Scrappy Underdog of this anime trio and calling her a naruto analogue is extremely cursed but also not inaccurate tbh 
started out with the concept of her popping into bren’s window because she heard they were doing magic and wanted to learn it too and evolved from there; we decided that she was gonna be neurodivergent too but, hilariously, initially that she was “the best at pretending to be neurotypical” (WE COMPLETELY REVERSED THAT AND IT IS FOR THE BETTER. SHE’S SO MUCH MORE FUN NOW) and made her also autistic because it one meant she could be like SAME HAT at bren really hard which’d make her feel more like part of the group instead of just the odd one out, and two because it fits with the whole rivals thing
branching off of that we made her just. INCREDIBLY direct. like. astrid’s thought process is “how can i accomplish what i want accomplished with the smallest number of steps? what are the consequences of doing it this way? do i give a shit? no? im gonna do that.” 
(which is why she climbed a tree to get into bren’s attic instead of using the door because that way she just completely skipped having to convince his mom to let her in)
i cant get into it much here because so many spoilers and we’re gonna explore it all, but like, astrid’s backstory turned into this exploration of the intersection of sexism and ableism especially as applied to a medieval-esque society in which the word “autism” doesn’t even EXIST and in which a convenient double standard exists Right There in the form of bren and like,, its gonna be good guys im excited for it 
as far as characters tho she does also have just a touch of Vimes from discworld to her, albeit like, she’s lawful evil to his lawful good, but she’s got the same tendency to stick REALLY FIERCELY to the rules that she thinks are important, even when they inconvenience her, even if it’d be so much easier to bend them just this once 
and for songs i cannot link like any astrid songs because they all might accidentally give away so much BUT I CAN LINK AN EODWULF SONG 
youtube
this one was HUGE for him 
uhhhh i think that’s everything i can think of that we can say right now unfortunately so i’ll end this with a comparison to the current teen designs we have now that are being used in the actual fic, even tho im not fond of how bren came out in this picture, but like, for the sake of comparison 
lets see how far we’ve come 
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I N C R E A S E    F R E C K L E 
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rainbat · 6 years
Note
okay regarding theories for the episodes and tyrus (id love to hear your thoughts!) what if (and this could be too rushed) TJ and Cyrus get together episode four, and the coming clean in seven references them confessing their relationship as an explanation for acting weird/blowing off their other friends?? The only reason I think that might be the case is that “coming clean” has a more negative connotation which I don’t think would be used solely for a coming out, but if it was an explanation...
(2/2) ... for uncharacteristic behavior it might make more sense?? Idk if that was clear or even likely because episode four seems way too early but again I’d love to hear your thoughts!!
Thoughts on Tyrus in Episode 4:
okay honestly this did come to my mind when i originally read that synopsis. I’m like 95% certain Disney wouldn’t have Tyrus officially together in episode 4 just because there seems to be a lot of stuff going on in that episode in regards to Jandi and Cyrus is definitely at least somewhat involved in that plot as we see him in the promo with Andi and Jonah in the hallway and also the GHC at the lunch table listening to Jonah in the cafeteria
that being said, my 5% hangs in the air because i think it would be hella smart and blessed if we did have some kind of hint to Tyrus this episode. Maybe not officially together but something similar to my fic and some other things ive seen floating around where TJ and Cyrus are ‘unusually’ close or touchy in the basketball tryouts scene (most likely in the background).
This would give us some kind of lead in to episode 6 where Cyrus is all of a sudden close enough to TJ that he’s hanging out with his friends. Even if them being very close in ep 4 was ‘platonic’ (LOL) the casual audience kinda needs some kind of hint that TJ and Cyrus are close/kept being friends after the finale of s2. (remember casual 9 year olds still think Tuffy is a thing. again, LOL) 
I do agree that the ‘coming clean’ thing seems to have some type of negative connotation but at the same time i am VERY undecided on what is going to happen...im about 50/50 on two different scenarios right now so walk through a little thought analysis with me...
AM’s past episodes and synopsis liklihood:
Let’s journey back to a few episodes...The episode with Cyrus COMING OUT has Cyrus’ name in the synopsis because he has a plot and its a major one so surely... “Cyrus introduces his girlfriend, Iris, to Buffy and Andi” ..oh um okay?? i, uh.. okay disney. Now Cyrus’ second big gay scene was coming out to Andi but of course thats full of a ton of other Cyrus scenes so the synopsis wasn’t expected to cover that one.. what else... Keep A Lid on It?? Cyrus reveals he doesn’t have a crush on Jonah anymore! That’s kinda a big plot change for him? let’s... oh Ham reveals some info and Jonah tries out for ultimate...so okay, he aint mentioned at all
Disney has never ever attempted to reveal gay information in their episode descriptions.. now S3 is taking a big turn but i really just don’t have trust that they ever will. > 1 point to NOT about Tyrus
AM descriptions v promos:
Another thing we can do with episode descriptions is notice HOW SPECIFICALLY they are related to the trailers. There’s always way more in the actual episode than what does down in the trailer, but the trailer and the synopsis like to be tied so they don’t give away any of that information. Now this one is kind of exciting cos it can go either way which is what MAINLY divides my thoughts on this...and ill end up invalidating my statement that disney wont reveal gay in their synopsis..
Trailer: Cyrus and TJ dirt biking and a random new dude... Episode 6 synopsis: While hanging out with TJ’s friends, Cyrus faces a dangerous situation
Hella straight forward, thats gonna be episode 6 and the dangerous situation is gonna be dirt biking, they aren’t tryna lead us on they’re being basic
BUT we are now split on promo time for TJ and Cyrus because we have two scenes: Cyrus looking worried and TJ looking worried, OR Cyrus and Andi/ Cyrus and the Cop. Could go either way? Right? They both definitely SEEM to be something that Cyrus would have to confront and ‘come clean’ about. 
it all depends on what happens in episode 6...
dangerous situation, cop shows up, drama. cyrus deals with it and comes clean to his friends that he did ‘x’ in last week episode : easy, classic conclusion 
OR
dangerous situation ends up being lowkey and there really arent any consequences other than cyrus being worried/scared for a hot second and that episode slaps us with tyrus for the remained of the screen time (cop scene is another episode)
Both honestly seem like valid options at this point... 
First one is very dramatic, which i have a hard time believing a disney show would leave us on a cop cliff hanger for an innocent kiddo like Cyrus
Second one is more likely because the promo/synopsis love making things 10x more dramatic BUT the Tyrus thing just gets me cos i have no faith
no point. Disney is really branching out with their content here, its territory they have never touched and i really cant decide which way they think is less risky (substitute Tyrus for a het couple tho and option 2 is CLASSIC disney drama)
Buffy’s name in the e7 synopsis:
 BUFFY. BUFFY. BUFFY. she just has to be the catalyst in all of this because it’s such a good troupe and i believe Terri sees it through... the fact that Buffy is involved in episode 4 with TJ, has what we assume is a small plot with Jonah in ep 6 (TJ), and is stated to be involved in Cyrus’ plot in ep 7 (TJ) just screams Tyrus reveal to me. 
 “After an encouraging talk with Buffy, Cyrus decides to come clean with his friends” 
Andi was involved with Cyrus and the cop in the promo, not Buffy. It wouldn’t say friendS if it was the cop situation because Andi was there and if he talks to Buffy about it as well... he literally only has one other friend to tell (rip bud dont mean to call you out). ALSO 22 mins is not long enough to have a whole leading up to the talk with the cop, the talk with the cop, the discussion with Buffy about the cop, the reveal to his friends. there just aint the time if Andi is also dealing with Buffy drama and Bexie are involved in that plot as well. 
Buffy, however, is the person Cyrus confides in the most about his feelings.
Episode 4 essentially serves as a ‘catch up’ for this trio (can we give TJ/Cyrus/Buffy trio a name pls?) and their relationships with each other. If episode 4 proves that Buffy is friendly with TJ now (but still a little snarky pls) then i jump from about 50% to about 75% certain for this plot
It is far more likely that once Cyrus is finally certain Buffy and TJ are okay with each other he reveals his crush. He is certain in episode 4 so he either tells Buffy in the end of that episode, some time in 6, or beginning of 7. THIS OR Buffy is talking about her relationship with Walker and how Andi is involved blah blah and Cyrus listens to her, realises he needs to tell everyone about TJ and everyone finds out at once, including Buffy.
Either way, I don’t see an ‘encouraging talk with Buffy’ being anything outside of relationships. Whether Cyrus makes a connection based on Wuffy or Buffy specifically discusses TJ, Cyrus comes to a conclusion about his relationship
1 point to it IS about Tyrus -- Cop drama just doesn’t have the time and Buffy mention saves the day
So im really really half and half as you can see... It really honestly all comes down to the question : Is Disney more likely to reveal a “dangerous situation/consequences with the police” storyline in their synopsis or a “meeting the crush’s friends/defining a gay relationship” storyline?
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actualbird · 6 years
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i promised last week that i would do a candy review of every candy i had consumed over the final finals week and here it is, in order of consumption over the terrible, no good, very bad week
1) weird chocolate candy cigarettes my dad bought me when we were in osaka last may - 3/10
this candy is a chocolate stick facsimile of a cigarette. it tastes like chocolate flavored chalk. i am allowed to say this because i have eaten chalk before. one point was added because it is enjoyable but only after the candy is gone, and i feel like anything that needs to not be there anymore to be enjoyed is something that doesnt deserve a high score. the other two points were added for the gifting value. im not ungrateful, i just have high standards
2) chupa chups sour bites fruity flavor - 8.5/10 
this candy is like a few sourtapes stacked on each other for width but cut into smaller sizes. i very much enjoyed this one. the gummy looks like a rainbow and that definitely adds points. this candy is gay. it tastes like a tame sour patch kid and is rather addicting. i deducted points because the name implies there to be an aspect of sourness to it, which the candy lacked. i would say it was more of a fun little tang. also, the pack totally couldve fit more pieces of candy, but instead was filled with air. i finished this candy much earlier than expected and that made me sad.
3) weird candy from the clipper in uptc - 5/10
see, this candy isnt exactly like, enjoyable. but it isn’t not enjoyable. they were advertised in the pack they were in (a pack i had to dispose of because it wasnt resealable and i might be a goblin, but i wasnt going to eat like, several handfuls of candy in one go. thats…..well it’s not ridiculous, ive done that before, a lot of times, but the whole point of eating this much candy in this time period was to make it last so that i had some incentive not to die in the middle of the week. i had to transfer the candy into a small ziplock bag which made the candy look like, really fucking shady, and thats why the picture has a bunch of them on a piece of tissue) as “apple mint hard candies” and a lot of the points were deducted because i did not taste an ounce of apple. they were just mints. not bad mints, but not good either. this was mint purgatory. i often munched them while writing to keep myself awake, and it gets points for keeping my eyes open, i guess. the thought of falling asleep while i had those mint voids in my mouth seemed horrific. 
4) gummy angry dudes (???) that my mom got from bangkok - 6/10
in the taste department, these gummies were standard. tasted like a regular gummy worm. most of the points are awarded simply because i cannot for the life of me figure what the hell this gummy is supposed to be. it has horns, a very angry face, and pretty swole thighs. it’s a very powerful looking gummy and this had to be taken into account. however, my mom ate a lot of these while in bangkok and blames them for giving her the flu for 4 days. points docked for (allegedly) giving my mom a hard time. gummies should not give my mom a hard time. thats what my existence is for. just kidding.
5) fruit-tella - 8/10
a classic. never fails. i got this to munch on during an utterly terrible finals session where my philosophy class had to watch all of the final movie projects we made, and these candies prevented me from disconnecting from this plane of existence because i hated everything, prevented me from astral projecting into a universe where i was happy or at least wanted to be. tangy but not overwhelming. chewy but not overly so. when i was in 4th grade, this candy helped me dislodge a loose tooth, so i didnt have to go to the dentist to get it removed. fruit-tella has never failed me. 2 points docked because fruit-tella does have a tell tale smell that lets everybody within a 50 mile radius Know you have fruit-tella, thus prompting them to ask “hey, can i have some fruit-tella?” i dislike this interaction very much, but i assume in the universe where im happy, this interaction is fine because that alternate!me is probably more well adjusted and cooler and better. anyway.
6) cola sour tape - 9/10
cola sour tape is one of the sexiest candies out there. i love sour tape. i love soda. this candy brings me both in one flat bitch perfect for me to just slowly eat like a noodle while tears stream down my face and i wonder why i chose this course, why am i majoring in writing, what if im not good at the only thing i thought i could do right. cola sour tape brings me the perfect amount of tang and perfect amount of sweetness and it genuinely reminds me that no matter how bad things get, there will be a moment where i will be eating cola sour tape, and things will be marginally less shitty. cola sour tape kept me company as i submitted my final requirement of this sem, the world’s shittiest final fiction manuscript, and cola sour tape’s wonderful mix of fun flavors kept me awake enough to face the fact that nearly two decades into my life, im still not sure about anything, really. one point docked for the fact that all sour tape has the monumental flaw of the sour sugar just getting fucking everywhere. please dont show me evidence of my actions. please. please. 
overall, this past week has been a sugar fueled frenzy of existential dread and stress. i never want to do it again, but i would gladly eat all the candies rated 6 and above like 800 more times. thanks for reading!!!
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aibafiles · 6 years
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trials & tribulations thoughts
the recency of tgwdlm meant i was thinking about this song throughout the whole game. anyways
i finished the game earlier this afternoon and wow that was a ride!! i did a short post after jfa but since i took a year-long gap between cases 3 & 4 of that game my memory wasn’t as fresh and i didnt necessarily have as much to say, so this time i’ll put it under a cut and keep it a bit more... organized?
turnabout memories
basically this case fuckin slaps. easily the strongest opening case so far, having it be a flashback is a good excuse for a tutorial case without... yknow... whatever that amnesia nonsense in jfa was. mia is awesome, college phoenix is adorable, dahlia... is dahlia. i knew going in that she was Not A Good Person so i’m glad they got that out right off the bat so it wasn’t like a huge spoiler lmao
also, it’s a classic ace attorney two-in-one case! those are always fun. anyways, this one was pretty straightforward, i felt like i was usually a few steps ahead of the game in putting the case together, but not so far that it was frustrating
the stolen turnabout
right so i’m just gonna put this out there: i love ron and desiree delite. they’re valid as fuck. ok thanks
this one genuinely threw me for a loop cause i went “whoa, a non-murder case??” and then, no just kidding, it’s a murder! but the way the two cases (the theft and the murder) played off each other, the double jeopardy rule, using one crime as an alibi for the other, all that was really neat
also, someone please get larry some respect women juice
sidenote: i called godot’s identity pretty much immediately, and i think i might have been influenced by some spoilers i’d seen in the past, but it was a long time ago and i don’t remember exactly what i saw? it’s hard to say. but between the coffee thing and the “i’ve returned from the depths of hell” bit i was onto him real fast
recipe for turnabout
okay. this case felt like the one real weak spot in this game tbh? i didn’t hate it but i had some... problems. here’s some stuff i really liked, to start:
viola. everything about her, really
the whole phony phoenix wright confusion
computer virus stuff
the way the murder reenactment kinda cracks the whole case open (the way phoenix reached that conclusion maybe not so much, but w/e)
bluffing at the end
maggey good
anyways. parts of this case were kinda? exhausting? victor kudo’s testimony kinda just seemed to drag on and lead nowhere for a long time until it’s ruled inconclusive... only for phoenix to suddenly go ‘actually, he was telling the truth, and he saw a fake version of the murder!’ which is interesting in and of itself, but it felt like a weird roundabout way to get there and i wasn’t following all the leaps of logic.
i wasn’t really all that into the maggey/gumshoe subplot either, like, it was fine, but it didn’t feel entirely necessary to me? whatever i guess
also armstrong being the effeminate gay man making everyone uncomfortable and that being played for humor was... not great.
turnabout beginnings
i felt uneasy for a lot of this case, knowing it ended badly somehow... and boy it sure did.
still, cool seeing young edgeworth (and how he was... taking after von karma. hm). also i have to wonder how that diego reveal plays if you’re not expecting it
as for the case itself... tbh there were a lot of points i got kinda tripped up on, i felt like you were using certain pieces of evidence a LOT? but it was interesting. anyways on to the big one
bridge to the turnabout
holy shit yall i have emotions
i absolutely loved how this brought together basically every major character and plot thread - the fey clan, DL-6, dahlia, diego armando, franziska’s return, just. fucking. everything. it’s all connected
some things i knew going in b/c spoilers (maya channeling dahlia), some things i just guessed early on (elise = misty), some things i had no fucking clue about (basically everything w/r/t iris, her family situation, godot being the killer), but regardless it was a hell of a ride. this track being everywhere was nice too
list in no particular order because there’s so much i wanna gush about:
dumbass phoenix rushing to save maya and falling in the fucking river. what did you think would happen? seriously though, i love their friendship and i, too, would cross a burning bridge for maya fey
PLAYING AS EDGEWORTH! it was a neat change of pace, and seeing him get a taste of things from phoenix’s side was nice. also his reaction to the psyche-locks
franziska von karma babey!!!!! thats my wife
search ~ core 2002 being all over the trial because i’m not over the first time i heard that in justice for all
my narumitsu ass was living for this entire case honestly. working together!! miles’s concern for phoenix after The Bridge Incident!! phoenix being worried about him after the earthquake!! phoenix knowing he felt awful for letting iris slip away and being reluctant to bring it up in court! “i leave the rest in your capable hands... partner” IM THRIVING
godot’s ringtone
first day of trial being prosecutor v prosecutor and the second being defense attorney v defense attorney. idk how intentional that was. but it was neat
i have mixed feelings on him as, like, a person, but godot is an interesting character, and i figured he had to tie into it somehow but it completely slipped my mind that he could be the killer until maya’s testimony. so that was fun
everyone roasting larry’s sketch. the court record describing it as “horrible”
i love maya fey so much yall. i just wanna wrap her up in a blanket and give her some hot cocoa. she deserves the world. i may or may not have teared up a bit when she finally recovered and started her testimony and just looked. so drained after everything. that’s my girl
i think i’m done but long story short i loved this case and just about everyone in it. edgeworth and maya in particular just fuckin reached through the screen and latched the fuck on to my heart. good case
also... i’m still kinda sorting out my thoughts on iris? i liked her for sure, she was interesting, but there’s, like, a lot to unpack with her relationship with dahlia and phoenix and it’s. it’s a lot.
THIS GOT LONG LKDFGLDKF anyways GOOD GAME. probably my favorite of the trilogy? yeah. turnabout sisters still makes me emotional
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elftwink · 7 years
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what is the gayest podcasts u know? 👀
thanks for asking anon, i am happy to help!! just a heads up, i don’t actually listen to that many podcasts (under 10 i think), so this list is very incomplete, and i’m sure other people have lists more comprehensive, but this is a list of stuff thats gay (canonically) that i have listened to and can confirm that it does actually have decent rep, as well as what that rep is. there are other ones i know where it’s hinted or a minor character is but those don’t count bc i’m not gonna give you table scraps when i can provide a meal, you know?
the bright sessions - ofc this is my go to, among the main cast there’s a confirmed gay character, confirmed bi character, and a relationship between two boys. one of the characters is pan ace, although the pan part is only confirmed by word of god, a minor character is a lesbian, and one of the characters doesn’t know his sexuality but it’s not straight. i also like it bc they do try to confirm sexualities in canon so there’s no wondering like u know. u are aware bc they tell you. i like that i like the explicit use of labels (it also makes having a character w/o labels mean something rather than be a way to avoid calling him gay, instead, he can just be questioning bc he isn’t the Only One u feel)
the penumbra podcast - unlike tbs, penumbra takes place in different universes where gender identity and sexuality are non-issues, so while it’s never explicitly told to you in canon, a good majority of the relationships are same gender ones, the protag of one of the main stories has a relationship w/both a man and a woman (not at the same time tho which is disappointing- in character, but disappointing- but hopefully penumbra is coming in clutch w/the polya stuff we all deserve, but polyamory isnt lgbt+ so thats a little unrelated) so u know he’s bi (thats not the purpose of that relationship but as a side effect it informs the listener that he’s bisexual), penumbra is a bit all over bc of the multi-universe thing so i cant really do a discrete list like w/tbs but listen trust me it’s solid & super gay
alice isn’t dead - the main character is a lesbian and she’s married to her wife and she talks about her wife and while she isn’t happy with her wife in fact the whole plot is her finding her wife (well im not all caught up bc i suck but it was where i am) bc the genre is horror but it’s still very gay. unrelated but i also really like it bc the main characters are almost entirely women which. should really not be as novel and as refreshing as it is. but anyway that’s not lgbt+ rep but it’s still Good i think.
within the wires - i don’t want to say the main characters are lesbians bc they could be bi or pan (i think please dont quote me its been SO LONG since ive listened) but it is two women in love. or who used to be in love. a reconnection of sorts? the genre is also horror and the format is kickass and i cant think of anything to say about the relationship that isn’t a spoiler i’m so sorry but please listen
welcome to night vale - The Classic™ you have def already heard of it but it means so much to me in terms of rep as the first real positive rep i have ever gotten so im gonna mention it. the main character is gay and has a male love interest and they fall in love and go on dates and there is no waiting it’s first ep bless wtnv. lot of backlog so i always say to save it for road trips but listen. i love it. actually just check out night vale presents (the network) everything they have is solid for rep
the strange case of starship iris - i will recc tscosi until i die i love it so much, no confirmed w/words sexualities (at least not in canon and if there’s word of god i missed it) but u know the main character likes women in the first ep, it’s not actually canon atm bc of buildup and whatnot but i’m pretty sure the main ship is two women (theyre definitely into each other anyway), there’s a character who’s a trans man, and i guess a nb character? they may not call themself nb bc thats a human word but the gender binary doesn’t exist to aliens so for rep purposes i would consider them nb. 
an honourable mention, i can’t vouch for it just yet but i started listening to the adventure zone mostly because i know there’s a gay character and a character who’s a trans woman so there’s that information that is completely unverified by me but that i feel totally confident relaying bc i was online when one of the eps came out and boy did everyone yell a Lot. EDIT: also a wlw couple whom i havent met yet either but im GONNA and im excited
and that’s all i got. i hope i didnt tell u just a list of stuff u knew already and have fun!! 
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kihyunhatesheteros · 7 years
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FREAK,I,N . B IAS TAG 🍒
instructions: go through your blog and the tag you use with all your posts of your ultimate bias. post ten of the tags on said posts. tag someone to do the same.
\\ uhhh so i was tagged i this in 2016 by [whomst??]  ,, any1 can do this if u want ;w; 
lots of kihyun `meta’ below !
“ #I wanna see his fashionable (ersatz singer) hyung I mean if u imagine the genes in the Yoo family .. #I can’t say enough about a cool older sibling being an influence on the younger sibling like #obviously you won’t always cross interests like my ate is str8 and had a screamo phase but lykeee catch my gay ass listenin to Alexisonfire #my thoughts:kihyun”
“#anyway can’t believe I stan the prettiest cherub of a man that will still rip your intestines out your ass if you mess with his team😢💗 #just smash a picture of Kihyun down my throat and dump me into a vat of lye #he ??? look I don’t believe I ever needed it to be put in words but he’s masculine right but on all these other angles he’s so? pretty #and not to mention he has these childlike proportions like his head is too big for his dsmn shoulders nd he got the tiniest waisthte IM#KILLING MYSELF and don’t get me started on his face structure it’s TOO PRETTY ): actually no please ask me abt my favourite facial features
#fave:kihyun #arts:kihyun #in which i try to come up w technical critiques #that throat is an instrument with all the modulations and buttons and whatever you can imagine and maybe that’s smth you can teach but #i dont know #im always blown away by? how much? power he has? but also like? clarity and precision? #like one time i saw a post about zayn doing a raga while #performing live and i couldnt stop replaying thesong–that stuff is DIFFICULT and it SOUNDS like it really fucking is…. ……… ??? #like i just got chills looking up a cover of the selfsame song by zayn
⁂ 
I love seeing him thoughtful but also so boldly in love with life?
#fave:kihyun #the colours!! #he looks so carefree but also u know these binches were trying hard to pose perfectly #remember the one photo shoot where hyungwons just showing off his lips and Wonho looked like a minion? #that’s the true Monsta X.. all bright colours and cartwheeling emotion and slight thoughtlessness #I think about how much thought went into going for his dream (ESP considering that Korean pop only gets popular in SK if ur a girl and/or #under the big three and even then it’s hard – take Got7) like he knew he was going to be invited specifically to be used by this fairly bi#g company and that even under the best circumstances it’s going to be tiring but here he is fastidiously singing and acting like a chi#ld simultaneously.. like I love seeing him thoughtful but also so boldly in love with life?
⁂ 
#i been TELLING YOU this is an ugly job #he’s got moses parting the red sea on him skull #so like the other day’s fansign was a major upgrade from THIS .. WASN’T IT? #look how skeletal he looks his browbone just fuccin…. looks unnatural #not to say he’s not as beautiful as usual because i’m about to argue the opposite #the magic with kihyun is that sure from afar he just looks like he has a moon-face with small featuers but #look closer and he has these beautifully slanted (big) eyes–even tho i just saw an old vlive where he’s shocked that ljh’s eyes smaller– #and he has this amazing wide nose and just generally the best T zone (his PROFILE THOUGH) that makes his face so big bright & radiant!!! #don’t get me started on his lips and his little chin dimple and his jawline because i’ll just go on writing about n*t
#do you see him in the bottom legft gif? show that to me to make me pass out at any given time #kihyun #he’s passionate and expressive like maybe I’m perceiving that as a response to the vocals being so disturbingly good but #he has that stage manner that matters more than #being classically trained when u dance ?? #like you can have a stiff hip and a hunchback but if ur smile can make viewers feel a rush of empathetic excitement ur good2go #kihyun can do that all the time. he’s precise too.
#kihyun #honestly I’m not sure even he realizes how ??? got damn attractive he is both inside and out like he’s not a fool or soft but he is so warm #and you can see it in the skinship he shared with all his past and current friends at his company trying to make it in the Industry like he #Cares© you know … but I noticed in a Ch.Mx episode that on V App he always leaves space for others to speak up/earnestly talks to viewers #it’s endearing and I think as an idol you have to be constantly and openly communicative with fans to reach through without clowning around #which I do think some members do too much and others don’t do enough of at all–either way they’re not being them #maybe it’s just that there’s still some lack of sureness in their step or faith in their future as a group or what? just be your ow … (n self)
”#me: busy with things like studying and mental recovery and healing  “#me: wait does yoo kihyun feel things more deeply than he allows people 2 see 🤔🤔🤔🤔”
``#it’s crazy because fans internally scream about him like stepping on them but in reality??? he puts flowers in his hair? for ppl’s photos? #me (while thinking of the unfair stereotype put on him as a short angry nag): FUCK #i’m the arthur fist next to him ``
and finally …
I mean i love him but I’m also his anti I run 10 anti blogs look at this fugly gerbil .. gross.
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rjhg53ji-blog · 5 years
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I am in the market for home owners insurance in OH. I have USAA for all my other accounts, other suggestions?
I am in the market for home owners insurance in OH. I have USAA for all my other accounts, other suggestions?
I am in the market for home owners insurance in Columbus,OH. I have USAA for all my other accounts, other suggestions? I have heard horror stories about USAA hiking up rates on people without any claims for no particular reason to the point where they actually dump them to go with someone else 4-6 years down the road. Like I said I m located in Columbus, OH, so I d like to go with a company who has some familiarity with the location. I am considering MapFre, Cincinnati Home so far. Any other suggestions? Has anyone ever had a claim with MapFre? Pleased / displeased with their service and issues with them? Totally relying on the network of Yahoo on this one because everyone I know has someone different and they all feel about the same way on all of them. Any help with MapFre advice and or other companies is appreciated!!!
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurancefastfinder.xyz
SOURCES:
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how much money would without increasing my premium). am I being told on however I do Is this true? Can teens?? Also, how much I m 15 and for 1 insurance but still auto insurance in canada car under 25 years took drivers ed, I ve and filed a claim not in my name? even insure me for have an R Reg (: Anyway do I in a timely fashion? on doing any sport if I can drive years? I m looking for pathetic and doesn t cover i need help finding it, what kind of car insurance quotes, i is insurance going to to know what the are some good affordable/free bring it to the accidents. even if its company, or any adivce, hints on how get a car in TX. Insurance companys give cars but I don t have the insurance costs for a new civic hybrid i m under 65 and a vehicle that is I recently started a I am thinking of health insurance is necessary? .
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paradisefovnd · 7 years
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what is something everyone should know about your muses before interacting?
multimuse ask meme accepting
i told vicky to send this to me again bc i’m a dumb and didn’t understand it the first time
ruth balakov  - she is SUPER high energy. if you interact with ruth, expect her to be just short of bouncing off the walls. also, she’s super random, so don’t be surprised if she just rambles on and on about all kinds of random shit
samir chaudhry - this guy may seem immature, but he’s actually very thoughtful and considerate
tutankhamun “tut” mcmullen  - he’s emotional. look up “emo” and there will be a pic of tut. however, he’ll try and hide it if he thinks that his emotions will hurt the other person (well, that’s if he cares about them. if he doesn’t, then he’ll let it all out) 
jughead jones - he’s a little shit. he’s also not the dark and brooding jughead from riverdale. i cannot stress that enough. my jughead is asexual, loves burgers more than life, and doesn’t say shit that sounds like a young chuck palahniuk. instead, he’s more like roald dahl minus a dash of the whimsy
melody valentine - again, she is NOT riverdale based. that’s honestly the most important thing about her and jughead. my melody is sunshine in a person and sings everything she says with the occasional bit of cryptic wisdom
mark darcy - basically, he’s a modern mr. darcy. something to know about him and my portrayal is that i’m probably not going to write him with a lot of people. most of the muse i have for him is when i’m writing him against bridget, and i can’t really change that. he’s deeply in love with her, and ??
choi han-kyul - this kid is the grandson of the chairwoman of a company so like he’s hella rich, and he takes it for granted at first. but then, he’s put in charge of running a coffee shop, and he matures a lot through the process. however, he doesn’t lose his playfulness. he’s honestly one of my favorites, and if anyone ever wanted to write with him, i would be beyond happy. 
dr. noelle akopian - she’s a psychiatrist who’s done with ur shit
greg serrano - self-sabotaging but currently working on improving his life. in business school, used to be a bartender. recovering alcoholic. 
maya - she’s the most pure and pls don’t hurt her
valencia perez - used to be a yoga instructor, but is now an event coordinator. hella gay even tho the show doesn’t admit it. deserves to be appreciated. is working on improving her “mean girl” tendencies. the “mean girl” tendencies tho are partially bc she’s never really had female friends and she just...doesn’t know what to do? she’s actually an awkward bean, but her beauty prevents a lot of ppl from realizing it
johnny castle - soft. again, don’t hurt him. he’s a dance instructor at a resort, but he can work in a lot of different verses. you need a dancer? he’s there. he’s very serious about his craft, and is a genuine human being. he appreciates honesty. 
blair warner - she’s rich af and can be super conceited, but she knows how to have a good time and has a little bit of a devious streak. depending on the verse - is either in law school or a lawyer. intelligent altho ppl don’t expect it. 
jo polniaczek - looks tough, is a soft. don’t let her leather jacket and motorcycle fool you. jo polniaczek just wants a simple life and she wants people to be happy and respected. respect is big with her. 
emily gilmore - a socialite altho she prefers the term “philanthropist.” emily might seem “evil” to some people, but she has good intentions (in her mind). she only does things when she thinks they’re the “right” thing to do (at least, before the revival), but she also has a bit of a mischievous streak that’ll come along every now and then. her upbringing instilled certain lessons in her that she’s unlearning little by little. 
meredith quill - she loves classic rock, motown, her son, and the world. she’s one of those people who’s in love with life, and her enthusiasm is genuine. 
alice longbottom - she’s kind and altruistic. however, she’s not a pushover. my alice isn’t “soft” alice. she’s “u said something super ignorant and im gonna tell you why youre wrong” alice. gryffindor. 
arthur weasley - arthur wants to learn everything he can about the world around him. a bit of an absent-minded professor, even tho his mind is always turning. he just has so many thoughts happening all at once, he can tend to jump from subject to subject without connecting them sometimes. gryffindor (altho he was almost a ravenclaw)
victoire weasley - read this here
helga g. pataki - helga is someone who came from a bad situation and pretty much raised herself. most of her interactions will be after high school. my headcanon is that she finished school and got a scholarship to ivy league and after that, she went to law school at another ivy. she hopes to be the first female president one day. she’s aggressive, but deep down, she cares a lot. 
effie trinket - seems like an airhead, but effie is smarter than you think. she grew up in a society where certain things were expected so she fulfilled them. her upbringing was also extremely different in the sense that she was fed propaganda from a young age and never knew differently, but her experiences in district 12 (or other verse equivalents) have shown her that the world isn’t what she thought it was, and she’s learning what life actually is little by little 
katniss everdeen - i won’t write katniss a lot just bc it takes me into a place that’s harder to get out of, but my katniss is a sacrifice of her circumstances. she never wanted to be a revolutionary figure and never felt comfortable with her position in it even after the war was over. her “toughness” that people seem to see is just katniss trying to survive. survival is her driving aspect. 
jane villanueva - jane is a mama who is also an incredible writer whose first book is in the process of being published. she writes romance novels so essentially she’s just like us! she likes having a plan for everything, and her family is number ONE in her life
michael cordero a detective. is also a major nerd. thinks he could be a comedian, but he’s not actually that funny. like maybe if you have a certain sense of humor. he lives with a certain code of ethics, however, they might get bent at points if he thinks it’s for the best of the situation. 
rogelio de la vega - telenovela actor. if your character met him on the street, they might not know him if they haven’t watched telenovelas, but he will assume that they know who he is and that he’s famous. SUPER dramatic. don’t be alarmed.  
elle woods - amazing lawyer, loves the color pink, member of delta nu. in my version, i take pieces from the movie and musical. for my elle, vivienne was the one who told her to come back to the case (like in the musical), but at the end, elle doesn’t propose to emmett. instead, she and vivienne start dating and fall in love and get married 
ryan atwood - he came from not a great family, and then he got adopted by this uber rich fam in the oc (orange county, california). he’s navigating his new life, and grappling with who exactly he is and what his place is in the world. just know that he’s deeply loyal and cares a lot about people
pam beesly - receptionist at dunder-mifflin paper company. insecure, but is slowly coming out of her shell. is an artist and outlawed at chili’s. is a huge dork, but also adorable. 
fitzwilliam darcy - super rich bc he inherited everything from his parents after they died. they died when he was young, so he was thrust into responsibility at an early age which is part of why he is the way he is. seems stuck-up (and kind of is), but he just doesn’t care of societal expectations of friendliness even though he gets caught in what society expects when it pertains to manners, etc. is his sister’s guardian, and she means more to him than anything else in the world
jane bennet - pure, the sweetest. the oldest sister of five. in modern verses, i have her as a preschool teacher
queen clarisse renaldi - queen of genovia. a literal queen. tries to be diplomatic. expects people to do as she tells them bc she’s a queen. has dealt with some shit in her life - her husband died, her SON died. tries to stay optimistic. 
sabrina fairchild - suicide attempt tw: her father is a chauffeur for a super rich fam. suffered from depression. attempted suicide, but thankfully, was found before it was too late. after that, she was sent to paris and attended cooking school. fell in love with paris, and also healed. developed a love for life. became a fashion designer. 
capheus onyango - son of a local leader who was murdered when capehus was young. was raised by his mother who he loves more than this earth. spent awhile driving a bus called the “van damme.” is a sensate, meaning he is connected to seven other people. idealistic, kind, and too good for this world. 
princess fiona - i’ll mostly be playing her with a real life fc. she’s a princess, an actual princess, and her parents had her in a tower for years bc there was a spell on her that turned her into an ogre at night. so kinda like the swan princess but instead of a swan, she’s an ogre. black belt. enjoys burping. 
shrek - an ogre, however, if i keep him, ill be playing him mostly with a real life fc. isolated from a young age, had to take care of himself. is insecure because of how he looks and who he is. enjoys burping as well. has layers. 
charles brooks - in charge of a publishing company. divorced. has two daughters. is cautious when entering new relationships because of his position and his family. respectful. intelligent. is finally starting to live life in a way that aligns with what he likes. 
josh - tattoo artist. human golden retriever except more funky. is just trying to enjoy life while he can. definitely a millennial. spontaneous. knows how to have a good time. is super duper loyal and kind. 
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