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wh0reforcoriolanussnow · 9 months

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Guilty || Billy the Kid x oc!reader

Summary: For the longest time you've felt like you have always been second to your older sister, Dulcinea. That however, soon changes when an outlaw, William H. Bonney—known to many as Billy the Kid—comes to town.

Warnings: smut!

Wc: 2,930

A/n: please send through more requests for Billy please! also the smut scene is lowkey inspired by the bathroom scene in euphoria season 2 with nate and cassie....

Divider by @pommecita

"I'm Billy. I just wanted to introduce myself," You hear a man spoke as you near the door. Your sister lets out a small scoff, "Well that is not a very good reason to ambush someone in the street," Dulcinea quipped.

"You have another motive," You hear your sister say as you press yourself against the door to listen more closely to the conversation. "I'd like to see you again," At his words, your eyes widen. Who was this mysterious man? "Why?" And there was a gap of silence.

You stepped out from your previous spot as all eyes were now on you. "Are we ready to go?" You ask your sister as she gives one final look to the man named Billy. You take your chance to look the man up and down.

He was a very good-looking cowboy. Your eyes roam around his body before you snap out of it as your name was called out, "Sofía, let's go” Billy watches you, his lips parting as he drinks in your appearance, he put two and two together and figured you were Dulcinea's sister.

You looked very similar to Dulcinea, more prettier perhaps in his opinion. Billy tips his hat slightly to you as you give him a small smile before walking towards the carriage. Dulcinea stares at you as you sit beside her, she slams the door shut and the carriage begins to move.

You couldn't help but look back to where Billy still stood. "Don't even think about it," Your sister firmly says as you roll your eyes. She was directly telling you to back off with Billy. Something that she has always done with every guy you and her have come across.

While Dulcinea was looking away, you sneaked a look and found Billy looking straight at you. Your cheeks begin to warm up as you send him a little wave to which he smiles before mounting his horse.

The next day, you decided to accompany your maid into town to buy a few things. You were secretly hoping to see that man again, Billy was his name. He looked unfamiliar to you, so you wanted to find out more about him.

"Isabel, have you heard of a Billy here?" You ask her as you inspect an apple in your hand. There was no response from the older woman. Isabel continued to look through the assortments of fruits laid out in front. "Isabel." You put the apple down as she sighs.

"Yes. I know of a Billy. And you should stay away from him, he is bad news, mi hija." She shakes her head whilst muttering incoherent words under her breath. Your eyes suddenly begin to look around, hopeful that you would get a glimpse of him. And you did.

He was across the street, tying his horse to the post. "I'll be back," You didn't bother waiting for a response before you pick up the fabrics of your dress and walk across the street.

You stop when you see your family carriage pull up in front of him, your view of him blocked. You furrow your eyes in confusion as to who else came into town. Mother and father were away and only you and Isabel left the house this morning, which meant that it was your sister.

What was she doing here? Dulcinea said she had no interest coming into town today saying she was too busy. Just as quickly as the carriage came, it quickly left. Billy's eyes were glued onto the carriage before his eyes begin to wander around, eventually landing on you.

You probably looked strange just standing in the middle of the streets, staring at him. Billy freezes slightly, his eyes looking you up and down. A smile makes it onto his face before he tips his hat at you once again.

"Sofía!" You move your attention away from Billy and see a friend of yours, Lucía, walking your direction, a huge grin plastered on her face. "What are you doing here?" She gives you a funny look as you clear your throat, your eyes flickering to where Billy was, only to find his figure disappearing into the building.

"I'm shopping, with Isabel." You give her a smile. "And where is she?" Lucía looks around as she links arms with you. "Right this way," You say as you walk with her. "Do you know of a man named Billy?" You suddenly ask her.

She would know. She knows basically everything about everyone in town. "Billy?" She says to herself, "I've heard of that name, can you tell me what he looks like?" Lucía looks at you.

"Well he's tall. Very tall. He looks like he's my sister's age. Brown hair, blue eyes and- oh- very good looking," You jokingly fan yourself as Lucía laughs, you joining along.

You stop in your tracks when you see Billy mounting his horse. You quickly nudge Lucía, "Look! There he is, that's the man I was telling you about," You cock your head over to where Billy was. Lucía's mouth hangs open, her eyes moving from him to you. "What?" You raise an eyebrow at her weird behaviour.

"You're talking about Billy? That Billy?!" Her voice begins to become louder as you slap your hand over her mouth. "Shh! He can probably hear you," You whisper yell at her as the two of you watch Billy ride off.

"So you know him?" You ask your friend as she gives you the 'really' look. "Of course I know him! Everyone in this county knows about him, except for you apparently," Lucía shakes her head. "What? Why? Who is he?"

Confusion was etched into your face as Lucía facepalms herself. "Sofía, haven't you heard of Billy the Kid? The famous outlaw that has been travelling from town to town? Surely you have heard of him, mi amiga."

Now that you thought about it, his name was familiar to you. You recall your parents talking him at home, but it never clicked in your head that that was the Billy they were talking about. "Yeah, I have," You kick a rock infront of you, your eyes watching where it lands. "Why do you wanna know about him anyways?" She asks you as you shrug.

"Dulcinea was talking to him last night, just got curious, that's all." Lucía didn’t buy it one bit but chose to leave it alone. “You’re not wrong you know,” She breaks the silence as you turn your head to her, a puzzled look on your face.

“About Billy being attractive,” She cracks a shy smile before you nudge her and the two of you start laughing out loud. “Sofía! I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Come on, hurry up.” The old woman scolds you, pushing you towards your carriage as Lucía chuckles, waving you goodbye.

You couldn't stop thinking about him. How could you not? The fact that he was a notorious outlaw further fueled the fire that was ablaze in the lower pit of your stomach. A sudden knock at the front door of your house made you pause your train of thoughts.

You were slightly confused at the idea of a visitor today. Mother and father were gone and you weren't expecting anyone over. You stand still in your spot before you hear footsteps leaving Dulcinea's room. Quickly walking out of your room, you grab ahold of your older sister's arm.

"Who's here?" You ask her and a smile you knew all to well crept onto her face. "Billy. Remember that guy you saw a two nights ago? I invited him over," She says nonchalantly. Your eyebrows crease in bewilderment.

"You know who exactly he is right, Dulcie?" Her nickname slips out of your mouth as she faces you front on, arms crossed. "Yes, I do, Sof," She points her chin up the tiniest bit, something she did whenever she was questioned.

"Then what the hell is he doing on our doorstep? Father would kill you if he ever found out that an outlaw stepped foot into our house-" "Which is why you will keep quiet." Dulcinea interrupts you, her tone sharp. You could see it in her eyes, rage brewing.

You loudly scoff, examining her features. "You know father would never allow it, plus, you already have someone you’re forced to marry soon," You narrow your eyes at her as she rolls hers. "Oh please, father will come around. Billy is not what people perceive him to be. I think father will like him," Is all she says as she turns around, making her way to the front door.

You exhale from your mouth before you make your way back to your room. You were dying to see Billy, but knowing Dulcinea, she would not let you be in the same room with him because you knew she liked him. And whoever Dulcinea liked, was off-limits to you, her innocent, little sister.

For the next couple of hours, you entertained yourself in your room. It was late at night when you figured that Billy had already left. You walked out of your bedroom, turning the corner before you collide with somebody.

You lose balance and readied yourself for the harsh impact but you were pulled back up by your forearms. "Fuck- I'm so sorry, sweetheart-" "It's fine. It's fine." You screw your eyes shut knowing whose voice it belonged to as you blew a loose strand of hair out of your face.

"What are you doing?" You ask him, your eyes looking around for any sign of your sister. "I- uh was 'bout to leave," Your lips form an 'o' before you slowly nod your head, silence following.

Your eyes were on everything but him. And his eyes were on you, studying your features that were similar to Dulcinea in some ways. "You're real pretty aren't cha, doll?" Your eyes snap to his after the pet name he just gave you, your mind slightly going blank before you process his comment.

"Am I?" Your voice dripped with playfulness as you tilt your head at him. You knew damn well Dulcinea could walk this way at any moment and see the two of you; she would let hell loose. "Mhm, prettier than your sister, I'd say. But don't go telling her I told you that." He winks as you furiously blush.

Your eyes falter down to your dress as you adjust the skirts of it slightly. "Y'know, I actually wanted to talk to you when I saw you in town earlier today," Billy's words make you look up at him.

"Really? Why didn't you?" You tilt your head at him as he kisses his teeth before opening his mouth, "Your sister, had me occupied for a bit and when I saw you, you were talkin' to someone else." He shrugs as you slowly nod.

"Well, I'm right here. What did you wanna talk about, Billy?" Your voice all of sudden was quiet. Billy smiled in satisfaction at his effect. "You uh- married?" He steps closer to you as he slightly cranes his neck to study your features.

You gulp. "N-no," You shake your head. He slowly nods his head, tucking his hands in his pockets. "You seein' anyone?" He asks, though his tone had a tinge of possessiveness in it. "No." Billy stares at you, his mind all over the place.

You were only 2 years younger than him but surely such a pretty, respectable, young lady like yourself would be married off to someone already, or seeing someone at least. "Good," He mutters as you couldn't help but smile. "Why's that, Mr. Bonney?" He looks around before he does something that catches you off guard. He grabbed your jaw and kisses your lips. Hard. You take a second to process what was happening.

He was kissing your so feverishly as if you were going to disappear. You stumble back at his rough force before he leads you down the hallway, his lips never leaving yours for a second. "The door on the left," You manage to say in between the kisses as he pulls you into your room.

Hands frantic, Billy skillfully undid the laces of your dress yanking it down to expose your chest as he wets his lips at the sight. He barely got your dress off before his hand grabbed your thigh and wrapped it around his waist.

He pushed you back against the door as you gasp, his mouth latching on to your nipples, your head thrown back at the sensation. Your hands toyed with Billy's hair as you tried containing your moans knowing your sister was still in the house.

"Don't keep quiet darlin'" He says against your skin before you feel him ripping your underwear. Your jaw dropped but you soon let out a loud moan as he slid into you. He groans against your neck, allowing you to adjust at the size, and when you do, he pumps into you at an almost inhumane speed.

You let out quiet moans as Billy grunts. Your hair was all messed up from being pushed up against the wooden door. "Oh my- Billy-" You breathed out, pushing him further into you with the heels of your foot around his waist.

""Fuckkk, feel so good baby" He grunts in you ear as you couldn't help but smile. A sudden knock on the door made you gasp in terror. Billy slapped his hand over your mouth at lightning speed to shut you up. "Sofía?" Dulcinea calls out from behind the door, another knock.

You stare wide eyed at Billy who quietly curses. "Sofía, are you in there?" Your sisters calls out for the second time as you panic. "Y-yeah?" Your voice was shaky. If Dulcinea found out that you fucked Billy, it would be over for you.

Although you were more free to do things than your older sister, you don't think your parents would be too happy to know their youngest daughter had sex with an outlaw, in their house. And you don't think Dulcinea would ever forgive you. She must be serious with Billy since she invited him over, something she never did with any of the previous guys.

"Why is the door lock?" The door handle rattles as you shut your eyes, feeling the tears coming. "Uh just a s-second! I'm changing!" You call out to her. Billy gently lets you down, zipping his pants as you attempt to tidy your appearance but fail miserably when the laces on your dress become tangled.

"Billy! Help me!" You whisper yell as tears were brimming your eyes. Billy's features soften when he sees you, quickly untangling the lace. In a matter of seconds, it was undone. He cupped your face in his big hands, your cheeks wet from tears.

"Shh, don't cry, sweetheart," He hushed, wiping your tears as you cover your mouth to quieten the sob that escapes. "She's my sister, she'll kill me!" Your voice was shaky as he pulls you into his chest, his hand in your hair.

"Sofía!" Dulcinea yells out, banging on the door as you flinch. You pull back from Billy as your eyes look around your room for a place to hide Billy. Settling on the panel room divider you push him behind it, "Wait here until she leaves, then you can sneak out of the window." You quickly say as he nods.

Before you turn back around, he grabs your hand. "Hey- it's okay," He assures you, his hand caressing your cheek as you slowly nod. "Finally!" Dulcinea exclaims as you didn't dare to make eye contact with her. She takes in your appearance.

"You okay? You look like you just ran a marathon," She raises an eyebrow as she touches your forehead but you pull back, a confused expression on her face.

"I'm fine, I just don't feel well." You gulp, tucking the loose strands of hair behind your ears, clearing your throat. "Right... Go tell Isabel and she'll give you something." Dulcinea says, you could tell she wasn't fully buying it.

"What did you want me for?" You finally meet her sharp eyes, "Oh. Have you seen Billy around? His horse is still outside and he was supposed to leave about an hour ago," She folds her arms, leaning against your door as her eyes wander around your room.

You clear your throat, slightly moving in front of her to block her view. "No, I haven't seen him. He probably went to take a look at the other horses in the stable," You lie through your teeth as your sister stares at you suspiciously.

"Okay," She says as you discreetly let out a sigh of relief. She gives you one final look before pushing herself off of the frame and walks down the hallway. You shut your door, locking it just as Billy comes up to you making you jump.

"I think you should go," You say to him. His hands rest on your shoulders, "I wanna see you again," He says softly, lifting your chin up to look him in the eyes. "Me too," You smile before he leans down to place a final kiss on your lips.

"What about tomorrow? Come see me in town," He suggests as you open your window. "I'd like that," You both smile at each other as he readies himself to leave. Just as he leaves through your window, he tips his hat at you. "Bye, Sofía," "Bye Billy," You chuckle lightly before he leaves and you shut your window.

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anonymousicecream · 2 months

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Rivals at School? More like on Bed (Karina x M Reader)

Warning: TONS of mature language, lots of cursing, definitely doesn't represent what they really say IRL, just for the story

Jung. A Jung. That's who you are. A Jung. Jung Y/n. Around the world, you might be just one of the 8 billion people, but in Hannam-Dong, Seoul, you are the king of highschools in Hannam-Dong, which effectively means the king in the whole country. The role however didn't come by choice. It came by exposure from your family as business owners, owning multi-billion corporations. You do enjoy all the benefits, but one thing you dislike is the attention. You're someone who's very reserved and only talk to four different people: your parents, your "annoying" twin sister Jung Ahyeon, as well as Nishimura Riki, or Ni-Ki, your best friend since you were 5.

(Morning)

You woke up later than you expected today, but still early enough to allow you to do your daily pull-ups before taking a shower and eating breakfast. After you ate your breakfast, you were about to walk before you heard your mom shout something. "Y/N! Your sister's car broke down. Take her with you." She shouted. You groaned before heading to the garage, grabbing an extra helmet and giving it to your sister.

"What the fuck is this for?" "So you don't die, you dumb fuck." She groaned, before grabbing the helmet and pulling it over her head, wearing it. You walked out to the front yard, walking towards your various options of cars and motorcycles before deciding to select your BMW RNine-T in order to make sure your sister is safe and comfortable.

The two of you got on the bike, riding off not long after. It took you just 15 minutes to get from your estate to the school, and once you arrived at school, you felt everyone's eyes on you. You dropped your sister off at the front gate, before riding off to park your bike at your usual spot. You parked the bike there, before turning off the engine and getting off the bike. As you started walking to school, you heard someone called you.

"Seems like someone decided to not be a bitch and finally starts to care about their sister." Your rival, enemy, whatever that is, Yu Jimin, or better known as Karina, insulted you. The two of you knew that you'll be very hard to break but she still does it to have fun with you and make herself feel better about it. You shrugged off her words, deciding to walk towards school.

Your history with Karina has been like a roller coaster to say the least. The two of you are basically family friends, with your parents being very close to each other. Unlike other family friends however, the two of you despised each other, wanting to achieve more just so "they could suck it in their face". However, as time goes by, the two of you became acquainted and close, as well as even to the point that the two of you go everywhere together. Sadly, all good things comes to an end. It was 5 months ago when she decided that you're "no good" for her and she just starts ignoring you and hating you for whatever it is you did.

(Timeskip to after school)

As school ended in 3:45, you walked to the gym, where you met with the track coach. You discussed the plans for this academic year, which will be your last. Since you plan on getting a scholarship, he suggested you to join some competitions to prepare yourself better as well as have better exposure.

The meeting took around an hour before you parted ways with him at 5, walking back towards the parking lot, towards your bike. However, as you reached your bike, you saw a certain Yu Jimin crouching down, looking down and sad.

"What now?" You asked her. "My car. People flattened my tire." She said, trying to act as if it's nothing. "Change it." You replied in the coldest way possible, trying to make sure that she doesn't think that you want something. "I can't. They flattened two, I only have 1 spare." She said. You contemplated on this. On one side, you can help her change the tires, while on the other hand, you can ask her to leave with you while your "team" handles her car.

You then got to your bike, grabbing your sister's helmet before walking up to Karina, giving it to her. "What?" She asks, staring at the helmet AND at you. "Wear it. I'll take you home." You told her sternly. "Ain't no way. I'm not riding you." She told you. "Too late. You already did." You replied, which made her clench her fists before suddenly started blushing, looking away as she remembered how you took her virginity.

She decided to accept your offer, grabbing the helmet before putting it on. You made a call to your "team", explaining the condition of Karina's car as well as how you'd want the car to be fixed. After ending the call, you hopped on the bike, followed by Karina behind you, before the two of you ride off.

As the ride progresses, you started feeling her hands move, from your bag, towards your shoulders, and now, on your hips, holding it quite tightly. You don't know if she expects you to drop her off immediately, but you decided that you don't wanna miss this opportunity to talk to her again after a while, so you decided to bring her around the district. You ride around the district for a bit before reaching your favorite Ice Cream spot.

"Really? Ice cream?" Karina asks, obviously annoyed. "Yes." You replied shortly, before walking towards the stand. You ordered two cones: one for yourself which consists of ferrero rocher and dark chocolate, and another one for Karina, which only consists of mint chocolate. You got the order before walking back towards her, giving her ice cream to her. "Thanks." She said, before munching into her ice cream. You followed soon, also enjoying your ice cream as the two of you watched the sunset.

At times, you would complain that the silence is very awkward, but with HER, you knew that it was never awkward, but always calm and just how things go around. You then looked around, before finally resting your looks on her face, as she enjoys her ice cream. You noticed that her lips are getting a bit dirty from eating ice cream, so you grabbed one of your tissues and tapped on the dirty bits of her lips, cleaning her from the ice cream. This caused her to blush, trying to not make eye contact with you as you continued this. After a few moments, you realized what you were doing and how it may have a different meaning.

"Ah, sorry." You told her, before continuing to eat your ice cream. "It's okay." She replied, continuing to eat her ice cream. After the two of you finished eating ice cream, the two of you resumed your journey from the park to her condo. It surprised you because you didn't know that she actually owns this condo, but now you know.

"Thanks, for the ride." Karina told you. "Of course Jimin-ah." You replied. She gave you her helmet that she borrowed. You put it at the back, and as you looked forward, Karina leaned onto you, reaching for your lips as she kisses you. You returned the kiss immediately, reaching for her cheeks, caressing it as she wrapped her hands around your neck. Eventually, the two of you pulled away due to lack of air.

"Sorry." Karina told you. "Not, it's.... I'm sorry. I should've not gave in." You told her. "No, no, just, I should've not started it." She told you, and you nodded, agreeing to her statement. "Well, it's getting late, I'll get going now." You told her, and she nodded, agreeing. "See you tomorrow." She told you, before you ride off, heading for your estate.

(Timeskip)

Once you arrived home, you went to shower immediately, before crashing onto your bed, sleeping off to dreamland.

#kpop #kpop gg #kpop fanfic #male reader #aespa #aespa karina #karina #yu jimin #karina aespa

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missesnott · 4 months

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Into You | Theodore Nott X Fem. Mattheo and Tom Riddle's Little Sister

•Summary: Your brother, Mattheo Riddle, has a best friend, Theodore Nott, who you have a crush on. Turns out, he also has a crush on you, so you both decide to start a secret relationship.

You had a crush on Theodore since the 4th year in Hogwarts. He was Mattheo's best friend, your brother, so he would never let you be with Theo.

Although he didn't know how you felt, he was very protective over you. Tom didn't know about it, but you don't need to worry about him now.

On the other hand, Theo also did had feelings for you but no one, except for him knew about it.

You were currently on your potions class and Snape was telling his students that you had to do a assessment about a certain potion. The only bad part, was that he chose the partners.

He then starts to make partners.

"Riddle" he calls looking at you, so you could know it was you and not Mattheo "and Nott."

You hated when Snape used to chose the partners, but now, you loved it. Not only because you had a assessment with Theo, but that means you could spend more time with him.

A few people were happy, anothers not so much. The class finally ends and as you are collecting your stuff to put back on your bag, you notice someone next to you, making you look up.

"Oh, hey Theo" you smile at him, making him smile too.

"Hey, so, we have this work to make, right?" you nod "What about tomorrow on my dorm?" he asks.

You didn't hesitate to answer.

"Sounds good!"

"Then tomorrow, at 4pm at my dorm." he says stating at your eyes. You eventually break the eye contact, closing your bag and leaving.

"I'll be there" you say, before leaving him alone in the class.

[...]

Today you had to work on that assessment with Theo, and you were somehow happy. It involved working, which you hated, but also involved spending time with Theo, which you wanted to become something more normal.

You walk up to his dorm and someone quickly opens the door.

"Y/n?" Mattheo, your brother looks at you weirdly "What are you doing here?"

"I came to do a assessment with Theo, even though that's none of your business..." you enter in the dorm and see Theo sat on his bed.

"Speaking about it, I also need to do mine." he looks at you once again "I'll be back in 2 hours."

With that, he leaves the dorm. You and Theo look at each other and you walk up to him, sitting on his bed.

"So..." you place your bag on the ground.

"We should better start" Theo suggests.

You nod, agreeing and you both lay on his bed, starting to work on the assessment.

A few minutes go by and you noticed him struggling with a little of his part of the assessment so you decide to help him. A few minutes later, the same happens to you and Theo helps you.

You both start to communicate a little more now. It might be a little interaction, but it still left you happy with it.

"Hey, Y/n, how do I do this? I don't understand this" he taps your arm, asking for help.

"Oh, that's an easy one, so..." you start to explain him, leaning a little next to him.

He looks at the assessment, trying to understand what you were saying but he seemed focused on something else.

"Get it now?" you ask, looking at him. He just keeps staring at you and suddenly he leans a little to you, making you both very closed. "Theo...?"

"Yes, bella?" he answers, your lips barely touching.

You both stare at each other until he finally leans in, crushing his lips onto yours on a soft way.

Then, he pulls back. Perhaps to see your reaction?

"You okay?" he asks in a low tone.

"I... Guess so?" you were still a little shocked at his move, so you nervously chuckled. He started to chuckle with you too.

"Mattheo is going to kill me if he finds out I did this..."

"I wouldn't say kill, but maybe a few punches. But he doesn't have to know about this, if you don't want him to know."

"A few punches shouldn't hurt, should they?" he smiles.

You understood what he meant and also smiled.

"Are you seriously willing to find out?"

"If that's what it takes to be with you." he leans in again for another kiss. You both stood like this, kissing for a while. The assessment was totally forgotten about for a few minutes until someone seems to be walking in the dorm.

You both quickly separated, looking again at the assessment on Theo's bed.

"I'm back." Mattheo says opening the door "You haven't finished your work yet?"

"The potion is more complex then I though it would be..." you say, Theo nodding at your words.

"Anyways, you both have fun in there ith your complex potion, I'm going out and won't be coming soon. I'm going out with-" he starts but you interrupted.

"We don't need the details, Matt."

He fake smiles at you and leaves the dorm.

"So, where were we?"

"Working on the assessment..."

"I didn't meant that, but fine." he jokes.

You look at him, worried that you'd ruin the little friendship you both had, but you don't say a word about it.

It was past the dinner time but you both had finished the assessment.

"Finally" Theo cheers "I couldn't do this anymore."

"At least is over" you smile. "I think I'm going, I promised Pansy I'd meet her after this assessment." you excuse yourself, putting your belongings back in your bag and getting up.

"Hey, do you want to go out someday? To Hogsmead or something?" Theo asks you.

"Are you asking me out?"

"Maybe."

"You know that Mattheo is not going to like this... Right?"

"He doesn't have to know... For now, right?" He smiles at you, without showing his teeth.

You nod "Seems good... For now."

"So, Hogsmead next week?"

"Hogsmead next week." you confirm before opening the door and leaving.

[...]

After the day you both went to Hogsmead, you understood that Theo might like you, and Theo understood that same so you both decide to start a relationship without Mattheo knowing. And without everyone else knowing, of course.

Since that day, you and Theo started to make up excuses for your friends to see each other, to be alone.

6th post! I'm so sorry for being a little inactive, but the creativity went out 😭 Also, school is almost over, only one week left, so maybe I'll become more active.

#fyp #fypage #fypシ #fypツ #lorenzo berkshire #lorenzo berkshire x reader #lorenzo zurzolo #theo nott #theodore nott x reader #tumblr fyp #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle #tom riddle

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confused-pyramid · 8 months

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Coming Up For Air | s1

pairing: aaron hotchner x childhood bsf!reader

summary: Hotch and his childhood best friend working together at the BAU: a slow burn across the seasons.

word count: 10.4k

warnings: canon!typical violence, mentions of abuse, death of a spouse, slow slow slow burn, specific episodes mentioned in this part are 1x01, 1x06, 1x07, 1x08, 1x15, 1x16, and 1x22

a/n: I started rewatching Criminal Minds from the beginning, and this is what came out of it heh. This is the first part in a little series I'm starting that follows Hotch and his childhood best friend in the BAU, beginning with the pilot. If all goes well, this will continue through the rest of the show, with ~1 part per season :) Title is from Coming up for air by Signals in Smoke

series masterlist

You haven't used your oven in over a year. It's not that you don't like cooking - because you do - you just haven't had the time. If you could, you would blame it on the extra hours you have had to put in after starting at the BAU, but that wouldn't be fair. Your transfer to the unit was the only thing that got you through his death at all.

After your husband was shot and killed in action while tailing a kingpin of one of the New York mobs, you couldn't bear to be in this house at all. You had gone back home to stay with your father for a couple of months, but eventually you had to get back to your real life. With a month remaining on your bureau-mandated leave, you returned to the home you had shared, before one of the lower-level mob soldiers misfired -

You didn't let yourself think about it for almost a year, but time heals all wounds. The poets were right. At least you hope they are.

Even back at home, you still couldn't bear to be there alone, other than when you were sleeping. That's why your peloton was gathering dust and your kitchen went untouched, until just now.

So, of course, the call from the office comes when you're making dinner. It takes five minutes to change into slacks and a button-up, and two more to toss your half-cooked vegetables in the trash, before driving down to headquarters.

A fourth girl has been taken in Seattle, and the local PD only now decided to invite your team. You know the BAU isn't well-liked by the other departments, but that doesn't mean you aren't effective.

When you enter the building, you rush through the I.D. check and jog over to the lecture hall, where Morgan and Reid are standing outside of a neighboring office like children waiting for their father to come and get them.

Shooting them both a thin-lipped smile, you step inside just as they finish discussing the unsub's pattern.

"They want you back in the saddle," Hotch says to the man beside him after greeting you with a nod.

Your eyes are so immediately drawn to Hotch that it takes you a moment to realize that you recognize the man standing next to him. You haven't seen him since the day you were assigned to the BAU, mostly because you were technically transferred to this unit because of his extended leave.

What was supposed to be one month became six, before Hotch informed you that your temporary placement would be permanent, if you were willing to stay in Virginia.

It was a no-brainer.

You turn your gaze to Jason Gideon as everyone in the room stares at him expectantly. He looks self-assured, but you're sure the confidence is a front. "They sure they want me?"

"The order came from the director," Hotch says simply.

"Well," Gideon states, "we'd better get started, then."

Hotch glances over at you as everyone files out of the room and you raise your eyebrows momentarily, a quick check-in between the two of you. He nods imperceptibly and it's enough for now. He didn't tell you Gideon was coming back today, but now isn't the time to give him hell for that.

***

Hotch is the last to board the plane, and he takes his usual seat beside you, this time in the aisle, a few rows away from the rest of the team.

"I was going to tell you," he says as soon as you close the case file in your hands. "The section chief wants me to evaluate him to see if he's ready to return to the team."

"That's a lot of pressure." They have to know that Gideon will be able to smell him out within the day. "You sure it won't get in the way?"

Hotch makes that face you hate, the one that says he knows you're deflecting. "I was going to tell you."

It doesn't take much for you to forgive him. It helps that you trust him completely, especially after everything he has done for you.

"Still," you smile, bumping his shoulder with yours, "it would have been nice to know about the sudden change to my job security."

You're mostly joking, but his frown is genuine. "Don't be silly. You'll always have a place on this team."

He takes everything so seriously these days. You suppose it's only fair, given the files he has to sort through on a daily basis. Picking which case deserves the team's attention the most.

But he wasn't always like this. You're the newest member of the team, but you've known Hotch longer than any of them.

You still remember the first time you met him, at eight years old. He was your first real friend at school, and you became inseparable easily. Your shared love for The Beatles and Law and Order made you fast friends, and as you grew older, your interests shifted in tandem.

Sometimes when you look at him, you still see that little boy who knew too much, but still managed to always make you laugh.

***

The team disperses soon after you land in Seattle. You've never had to come up with a profile in one afternoon, but it's also been a long time since your ticking clock to find the victim was just over a day.

When Gideon and Morgan head to the latest crime scene, you join Hotch and Reid to interview the victim's brother. The moment the three of you step into his house, his dog, Sandy, starts barking up a storm.

"It's what we call the Reid effect," Hotch smiles, walking over to pet her. "Happens with children, too."

You can't help but smile as well, peering over at Spencer, who looks about as uncomfortable as he usually does.

It doesn't escape your notice that the brother looks looser now. Hotch has a way with people that traces back to his childhood self. He was always wiser than his years, something you chalk up to his need to grow up faster than he should have, but his paternal instinct comes from practically raising his brother, Sean, after his dad's untimely death.

The casual interview reveals enough about the victimology that when you head back to the station, Gideon calls the officers in to explain the profile.

You can feel Morgan's agitation wafting off of him as he watches Gideon state his assumptions with startling clarity and confidence. Hotch, on the other hand, looks contemplative, which reminds you that he's been tasked with the returning agent's evaluation.

He can see your furtive glances in his direction, even as you try to remain secretive about your interest in his demeanor. He presses his lips together to keep from smiling as he thinks about how lucky you are that you went into profiling and not covert operations.

You have never been especially good at keeping your own thoughts or intentions to yourself around him. While some would call that a weakness in this field, he sees it as your greatest strength, because it clearly shows how much he can trust you.

As a kid, you were outspoken about every idea you had, and you used your strength and willpower to look out for him when he needed it. It took him a long time to admit how much he used to need you (maybe too long), but you always knew.

***

Gideon's profile leads to the arrest of Richard Slessman and Tim Vogel, and Elle manages to save the last girl while she's still alive. You catch your breath for the first time in 36 hours as you stand with Hotch in the shipyard, watching the paramedics and local police clear the scene.

"What are you going to tell them?" you ask under your breath as his gaze turns to Gideon, who is getting patched up in the back of an ambulance.

He had goaded the unsub into shooting him instead of the girl, but your mind can't seem to focus on the silver lining.

Hotch sighs, crossing his arms over his chest, as though to hold his coat closed against the breeze. "They want to know if he's fit to be a field agent again."

Normally, you would give him shit for using that tactic. Avoiding a question by providing more information. This time, you know he's just thinking out loud.

"What would you say?" Hotch asks as Morgan walks over and sits on a barrel next to you.

"Gideon saved her life," Derek shrugs, his eyes flashing to you for a moment. "That's good enough for me."

Hotch seems to ponder this for a second. "Do you know what Gideon means in Hebrew?"

"Mighty warrior," Reid interjects, popping in to the conversation with the subtlety of a tiger.

You're confused at first, but then you remember the baby names book that was sitting in Hotch's living room the last time you visited him. "You cannot let Haley name your child Gideon."

Hotch laughs suddenly, and you can tell you surprised it out of him. Your chest warms comfortably as he smiles, his cheeks flushing softly in the chill air.

He looks over at Gideon again, deciding in real time that he's going to recommend him to come back to the team. He would never admit it to you or anyone, but he knows that if your position on the team was in jeopardy from Gideon's return, he wouldn't have been able to complete his evaluation fairly.

It was Hotch who recommended you for the open position after he was promoted into Gideon's role as unit chief. You deserved the spot, of course, but Jeff's death had still been fresh and he knew better than most how much the job can take one's mind off of the other aspects of their life.

While Hotch watches Gideon, you watch him. You can tell from the look on his face that it's a done deal. Jason's coming back to the team. It will be a change of pace for everyone, but that doesn't mean it won't be good.

Having joined the team right after the bombing, you saw exactly how Gideon changed after getting the profile wrong, but so did everyone else. What people didn't talk about was how Aaron changed too. Rising into the rank. Growing to fill the hole that Gideon left in the unit, but somehow also shrinking into himself at the same time, because that's what this job does to you...it takes and it takes and it takes until you have nothing left to give.

But sometimes that's what you need: to give something up so you know you aren't losing everything.

***

Gideon settles into the team faster than you anticipated, and soon it's almost like he never left. Even though you can see the vein on Morgan's neck pulsate every time he hijacks a profile, you can't help but appreciate the support he gives to Spencer and Elle, both of whom are becoming incredible profilers before your very eyes.

That's also why you find yourself a little worried when Hotch tells you that Reid failed his weapons recertification.

"I thought you said you were helping him practice," you say as the two of you walk past security and toward the bullpen.

"I was," he emphasizes, before correcting himself, "I did. I'm sure he was just nervous."

You nod, pushing open the doors and spotting Reid sitting quietly at his desk. "He can test again in two weeks. He'll be fine."

When Morgan hands him a whistle with a quippy joke, you sigh into your coffee tumbler, but don't bother stepping in. He's being childish, but if you try to intervene, it'll just embarrass Spencer more.

"Okay," JJ starts, "Franklin Park, Des Plaines. Yesterday afternoon."

She dives into the case, but you have already read the file (and you know Reid has too) so you scoot your chair over to his desk and lean forward so only he can hear you. "I failed my first weapons certification at the bureau too."

Spencer looks up immediately, his face colored with surprise. "Really? You're one of the best shots I know."

You smile with a shrug. "The tests aren't real life. When it comes down to it, I get the job done. Just like you will."

He doesn't say anything for a moment, but then his lips curve up into a small smile. You both turn your attention back to the front just as JJ finishes explaining the case details.

"Wheels up in 30."

The flight to Illinois is filled with heated discussions about the bureau's fruitless history of trying to profile long distance serial killers.

"L. D. S. K.s are so rare, we haven't been able to build a standard profile," Hotch explains as the jet reaches cruising altitude.

Gideon chimes in immediately. "Here's what we do know: they're always male, and they frequently have law enforcement or military experience, and they always contact the police or the media."

Elle looks confused and you echo her sentiment as you lean your hip against her armrest. "To take credit or relive the experience?"

"Both," he says simply. "All serial killers attempt to relive the ecstasy they get from their killings. Some use souvenirs taken from the victims, and others return to the dump site to interact with the body. Both modes require contact with the victim, contact which, by definition, long distance serial killers don't have."

"Our unsub hasn't contacted anybody," you point out. "What do we do until then?"

"Sometimes it's not what the unsub does that reveals the profile. Sometimes it is what they do not do."

Reid glances up from the file in his lap, and you notice that he looks at Gideon first. "He doesn't kill his victims."

"Underkill's a unique signature," Hotch ponders, standing up and walking along the cabin. He only paces when he's deep in thought. "The question is, does he shoot them in the stomach intentionally just to wound them, or is he just aiming at the biggest part of the target?"

The team is silent as you take in this new analysis. You're not surprised when Gideon is the first to speak up. "Specifically, does the unsub lack the skill to make the head shot, or simply the will to take it?"

When the plane lands, you check out the last crime scene before spending the day talking to the local police and the victims' surgeons at the nearby hospital.

That night, when you check into your hotel room, the click of the door lock closing behind you is a welcome relief from the tension of the day. Many of the Des Plaines police officers were unhappy with the team's initial assessment, because it heavily implied that the unsub may have been a law enforcement official himself.

You wash your face and change into a tee shirt and a comfortable pair of sweatpants, before climbing into bed and opening the case file back up again. The rest of the team has also gone to their own rooms, but you can't help but wish you had another set of eyes looking at this with you.

As though reading your mind, a knock thuds on your door and you stand up quickly, in case it's an emergency. When you check the peephole, you see Hotch standing way too close to the door.

Unlocking it slowly so you don't startle him, you open the door to find him in still in a full suit.

"Is there a problem?" you ask immediately. "Do I need to get dressed?"

He shakes his head, glancing around the hallway so quickly that you almost miss it. "I was just looking over the profile and I wanted your opinion on some thoughts I had."

The corner of your mouth twitches and you open the door further to let him in. He doesn't miss a beat as he takes a seat on the armchair in front of your bed and flips open his notepad.

"I was thinking about the bullet we recovered on the scene," he says slowly, like he's thinking through every word he's saying.

You nod, sitting on top of the bed covers and crossing your legs under you. "Garcia called after you left the station. The bullet was a .223 fired from the M-4 variant of the M-16."

"That means he's military," Hotch says, reaching his hand out without taking his eyes off his notepad. You close the case file you had laid out and hand it to him. "M-4 is a shorter barrel than the M-16, so it's less accurate and a lot harder to fire, especially at these distances."

"This level of skill indicates specialized training. That means..."

"It means the underkill was on purpose," Hotch says, finishing your thought. "What is he trying to prove?"

You purse your lips as he sits up in the chair to give himself room to remove his jacket. His pinstriped button-down is slightly crinkled under his arms, but you can tell it was freshly ironed this morning.

"Maybe he's in a fast-paced occupation," you suggest, "which would fit with the profile that he has a big ego."

"Then we're back to law enforcement."

You lean forward, your eyes following his hands as they fidget with his cuffs and undo the buttons, one at a time. You've always been attune to every one of his movements, but maybe it's just because you've spent so much time around him.

"Hotch," you whisper-yell, snagging his attention from your case file, which he tosses back to you.

He hums and you take that as an invitation to continue speaking. "Be careful tomorrow, when you're giving the profile."

One of his eyebrows lifts and you can tell he's holding back a smile. "It's just in front of the Des Planes PD. You'll be there too."

"It's not that," you sigh, shaking your head. "Everything about this profile points to the shooter being either current or former law enforcement. I'd be surprised if they didn't take it personally."

His eyes flit up to yours, his brow furrowing. "I can handle myself."

"I'm sure you can, Hotch," you say with a breathy laugh. "Doesn't mean I don't still look out for you."

He pauses and it's like his whole body takes a beat. "I know."

***

You're talking to Dr. Landman with Derek, Elle, and Jason the next day when a gunshot rings out through the hospital. Last you checked, Hotch and Reid were in the E.R., but you haven't heard from them since you arrived.

"It's Phillip Dowd," a nurse informs you when you meet with local police outside the closed E.R. door.

After a quick call to Penelope, the profile becomes clear.

"He joined the army at 18," Gideon recites, pacing around the room in a vaguely reminiscent manner, "went to ranger school, did 6 years before being dishonorably discharged in '95 for conduct unbecoming. Obviously lied about it, joined the Arlington P. D."

"You were right," the police captain sighs. "He was a cop."

His hopeless tone is disheartening, and you find yourself upset for not the first time that your team was correct in their assessment.

After the initial commotion, the E.R. is silent except for a few muffled voices. You can't hear what's being said, but the lack of gunshots or loud noises is all that's keeping you from falling apart.

"It'll be okay," you hear whispered from next to you. You turn to see Derek, who presses his shoulder to yours briefly. "Hotch will know what to do."

You know there's nothing you can do from out here, especially with how precarious the situation inside is, but doing nothing has never been your strong suit.

"I know," you tell him, echoing your thoughts. "I just wish we could help."

Derek cocks his head at the S.W.A.T. team readying themselves to break the door down. "We can help. We need to give Hotch and the kid time to wear Dowd down."

His tone is light and you feel yourself laugh, ignoring the thickness that swells in your throat. "That shouldn't take long."

Derek bumps your arm again in a silent extension of comfort, and you mouth a silent thank you.

You can feel Gideon losing patience as he reasons with the captain, but he eventually buys them three minutes to do what they can. When the final five second countdown starts, you unconsciously hold your breath, only to be released when Hotch's voice calls through the door.

"Hold your fire!"

Your breath comes out like a gasp and you squeeze Derek's arm before rushing forward. Hotch stumbles past you with a murmur that sounds obscurely like "help Reid", so you push your way through the throng of civilians moving to escape until you see him.

"Spencer," you gasp, crouching down to help him into a standing position. You would never admit it to him, but ever since he joined the team, he's been something of a little brother to you. "What happened in here? Are you okay?"

"You were right," he says with a surprising steadiness to his voice. "I got the job done."

You don't ask what he means, knowing that Hotch will fill you in when the time is right. Instead, you decide not to fight the vaguely maternal urge rising within you and you pull him into a tight hug. It's more of a quick squeeze, because you don't want to push past his physical boundaries, but he doesn't complain, instead looking over at you with a small smile that's more than enough for now.

***

You find Hotch where the departed ambulance that patched Reid up was parked. All of the hustle and bustle of the paramedics and local police officers and bureau agents comes to a standstill as you walk over to where he's sitting on the edge of the curb.

"I heard what happened," you say as a way to announce your presence. "Can I sit?"

He nods without looking up, and you crouch down next to him, settling on the curb with your shoulder pressed to his. You can feel the tension in his muscles as he grips the sidewalk, his palms digging into the concrete like he could break through if he pressed hard enough. "Reid.."

"..is fine," you whisper, nudging him so he looks up to where Spencer and Jason are chattering excitedly. "He's more proud than anything."

He doesn't say anything, so you bump your knee against his. "I guess all of the physical training classes you made him take at the academy paid off."

He knows you know exactly what is running through his mind, so he doesn't bother trying to articulate it. Instead, he lets out the breath he didn't realize he was holding, and looks over at you. "Do you remember that self-defense class we took before law school?"

You're not expecting this question, and you almost laugh. "You mean the singular self-defense class you dragged me to before dawn in the summer before we started at Georgetown?"

He levels you with a look that you would think is serious if you didn't know him so well. "You don't regret it, though."

"No," you smile, your eyes blurring with emotion. That's where you met Jeff. "I don't."

He was your instructor that day. He only taught that class twice a week, between lectures at Georgetown Law, and it doesn't escape your mind that you so easily could've missed him. One day earlier or later and you never would've met him, never would've been his girlfriend, or his wife, or his widow.

Hotch remembers meeting him that day too. He had to literally come to your apartment and drag you out of bed to make the seven AM class that he had signed you both up for, and you had been grumpy the whole drive over.

There wasn't much, other than coffee, that could get you alert before eight in the morning, but the moment you walked into that gym, it was like you were wide awake. He spent the rest of the class trying not to look as the man he would later come to know as Agent Adler kept coming over to give you extra pointers, and he pretended that the coil of ice slithering up his spine was there just because he was watching out for you.

When he found out the two of you had started dating, he continued to pretend the nausea rising in his stomach was from the day-old sandwich he had had for lunch, because it wasn't fair. Especially since he was with Haley, and he was happier than he had ever been, even if the new law school course load was making it harder to see her as often as he wanted to.

But eventually, your happiness with him overpowered every protective urge he felt, and he realized that even if there was a feeling in his gut that he didn't recognize when he saw you two together, Jeff was perfectly suited for you.

***

"He's so gorgeous!" JJ coos, her hands twitching at her sides like she's trying not to reach forward and take the baby out of Haley's hands.

She brought Jack, their newborn son, in to work today to show the team, and Hotch looks prouder than you've ever seen him. "Thank you."

"If you find baldness and wrinkles attractive."

"Reid!" you chastise, swatting at him. He dodges your hands without even looking.

"Look at his widdy biddy nose," Garcia squeals, before turning to Morgan with an inquisitive look. "Don't you want one of these?"

He just laughs as he rests his chin on her shoulder. "Mm, I'll stick to practicing."

"Congratulations," Elle chimes in before returning to Gideon's side to continue discussing the new case that came in. She's always on top of things, and it's something you respect greatly about her.

"Thanks," Hotch smiles, his gaze returning to Jack after looking away for only a moment. Jack is like a siren, the way each of his little sounds or movements holds Hotch's attention so steadily. He's the most focused of all of you, but you've still never seen him this enamored. "She's amazing. I'm a little terrified."

"You're glowing," you tell Haley as the rest of the team heads to the briefing room. "How is it that you had a baby just a few weeks ago?"

"You're sweet," she smiles, before tilting her head forward. "Do you want to hold him? You're practically his aunt."

You gasp quietly, so as not to wake little Jack. "That is a title I will carry proudly. And yes, I would love to hold him."

Haley hands him to you slowly, and you make sure to support his head carefully as you cup your arms around him. He looks so much like Haley that you almost make a joke about Hotch's genes not even putting up a fight, but that nose...that nose has Hotch written all over it.

When you glance back to where the team left from, you see him turn back at the same moment and offer you an encouraging smile.

"How are you holding up?" you ask Haley, barely able to focus on your surroundings with a newborn in your arms. Maybe there is something to the siren thing.

"Jack's been incredible. He barely cries, it's kind of a godsend...but I do wish Aaron could take time off with me."

You give her what you hope is your most comforting smile. "We've been super swamped with cases here, but in all my years working with him, I have never seen him so eager to leave every night."

She laughs, a pretty sound you remember from your youth. "I know. I feel so unfair when I complain about these things, but I appreciate you humoring me."

"Not at all," you assure her, glancing back down at Jack, who is mid-yawn. "I understand completely. If I had one of these little guys, I wouldn't be able to think about anything else."

You hear her breath catch and you open your mouth to reassure her that it's fine, but she is already reaching forward to squeeze your arm. "You and Jeff would have made amazing parents."

When you both joined the bureau, you were so busy with work that kids weren't on your mind at all. It wasn't until you got settled at the BAU, and Jeff found his place with organized crime, that you even started talking about it.

You want kids, don't you?

Only a few. Maybe four or five. Yeah, five's a good number.

"I should get back to the team," you say softly, blinking away the memories.

Haley sees your face and she smiles sadly as she takes Jack back from your arms. "I'll see you soon. Tell him I'm heading home, will you?"

You nod and watch the elevator doors close in front of her, before joining the team.

***

"I can't believe you went bar hopping without me," Derek shakes his head, feigning offense as he leans so far back in his chair you're afraid it may tip over.

"I think hopping is kind of a strong word," you say, glancing over at Elle, who is perched on the edge of your desk. "We only had one bar in mind, but it closed earlier than we thought, so we went somewhere else after."

"This was a much needed girl's night," Elle grins, patting Morgan on the shoulder as he continues to pout. "We'll invite you next time."

"How was your weekend, Dr. Reid?" you ask, turning around to face him.

Spencer doesn't look up from his crossword.

You say his name again, recalling the attention of Derek and Elle, who had started talking about some trip they've been planning for what feels like months.

When he still doesn't look up, you pick up one of the BAU-provided pens on your desk and chuck it at him, just hard enough to bridge the gap between your desks, but not so hard that it hurts on impact.

"Ow!" Spencer yelps anyway, glancing up with a look that's somewhere between confusion and indignation. He picks the pen up off the ground and turns it over to see the tiny insignia on the cap. "This is FBI property."

"How was your weekend, Spencer?" you ask again, ignoring him. "Didn't you say you had some fun stuff planned?"

"I did," he lights up, instantly forgetting about the pen incident. "My local movie theater was showing reruns of the first season of the original Star Trek, so I got to experience it on the big screen."

Derek laughs and walks back over to his desk next to yours. "We have very different definitions of fun weekend plans, kid."

You're about to tell Derek that no one wants to hear what his idea of fun is when the office door upstairs flies open and Hotch and Gideon walk out.

Reid hands you back your pen, and Derek sits up in his chair so fast it's almost comical.

"We have another case," Hotch announces before coming to a stop.

Gideon takes it away. "Our unsub is male, intelligent, organized and methodical. He has the confidence of a man who's been killing for a long time."

"Only victim removed from the scene is Freddy Condore indicating some tie to him."

Hotch turns to you. "You, Elle, and Reid stay on Condore's background with Garcia. The rest of us will head to the crime scene."

You nod before standing up. "Let's go, kids."

Penelope's lair is just as eccentric as you remember it.

"Take a seat," she instructs before logging into her computer and opening up her criminal history database. "Just don't get too comfortable."

Your lips quirk up as Elle flashes her eyes at you, and you nod your head at the empty chair on Garcia's opposite side. Reid is already sitting on a desk chair by the back, spinning in aimless circles as he rattles off a list of markers to search for.

After a minute, Penelope stops typing. "Credit card receipts show Freddy loved crab cakes, preferred light beer and used to spend his Thursday nights with a woman in Fells Point."

You pick up a stress toy shaped like a tomato from one of her shelves and bounce it in your palm, just for something to occupy your hands.

"What about his associates?" Elle asks, grabbing a pen with a pom-pom on the end and poking it at Spencer's knee.

"Most of them have criminal records."

Elle glances up. "That much I guessed."

Penelope frowns, and looks pointedly at the pen in her hand.

"She's holding the tomato!" Elle complains, throwing a finger at you.

You lift up your hands in surrender, dropping the stress toy. "Thanks a lot, Greenaway."

"Anyway," Reid interrupts, to everyone's surprise, "One of these guys is particularly interesting. Pull up James Baker's rap sheet."

Penelope turns back to her computer as Spencer reads over her shoulder. "He spent time in juvenile detention for attempted murder, was released at age 21, and then subsequently arrested for, and this is in order, armed robbery, petty theft, burglary, narcotics sales, and rapе."

"What's so interesting about that?"

"When it comes to psychological behavior, anything is possible but this criminal history? It just isn't probable."

Elle nods in agreement. "I mean, as a minor, he began with attempted murder and then devolved into pettier crimes?"

"It's the criminal history of a fractured schizophrenic with multiple personality disorder," you sigh. "It just does not make sense."

***

Hotch calls you into his office when he and Morgan return from Baker's address. You can tell something is off before you even step through the door, so you shut it behind you and take a seat in front of his desk.

"What's going on?" you ask, your eyes glancing over his face to see if his micro-expressions can give you a hint. "What's wrong?"

He looks up with a sigh, his hands clasped on his desk. "Baker's place was an artificial dwelling, and the weapon we recovered on the scene was standard law enforcement issue."

It takes you a few seconds to comprehend what he's trying to say - a few seconds longer than usual - and your breath stutters in your throat. "He was undercover?"

"That's what it looks like," Hotch agrees. "I wanted to inform you before telling the rest of the team."

You nod, pressing your eyes closed for a beat.

He missed his pick-up, Mrs. Adler.

We'll call you as soon as we know more.

The memories start to flood back in and you squeeze your eyes shut tighter before opening them. Hotch looks blurry for a moment until your eyes adjust to the light again.

"Does organized crime know where he is?" you ask, desperately needing to fill the silence.

He looks down at the case file. "We assume so, but it's not like they would tell us. They weren't too happy that we were taking on this case at all, and now we know why."

"Maybe they'll talk to me," you suggest, even though the idea of talking to Josh Cramer makes you taste bile. You haven't seen him since a month after the funeral. It's not for his lack of trying, you just couldn't stomach looking at any of them after what happened. One missed call turned to ten and eventually they stopped trying.

There's a piercing pain behind your eyes and you squeeze them shut for a momentary relief. "It was only supposed to be three months."

Hotch's brow furrows and you don't look up at him just yet. You can already picture his expression, the anguish you know he feels for you whenever you bring up Jeff.

"It was a three month operation," you continue, knowing you won't be able to discuss it later if you stop talking now. "That's all we signed up for. Three months away from me and then he was on leave for the rest of the year, so that we could focus on us again. Maybe even start a family."

Your voice cracks on the last word and you tilt your head down to hide your face. He hates it when you cry, but that's not fair. He knows how important it is to get your emotions out, so they don't pile up inside of you, but if he had his way, you would never have had a reason to cry in the first place.

"I hadn't seen him in over a month when he was..."

He can hear the tightness in your voice and he resists the overwhelming urge to reach his hand out and take yours. You're sitting a foot back from the desk, and it's not he could reach you from here anyway, but his fingers still ache.

"I don't want to blame them, Aaron," you sigh. Your words sound watery, and he pulls a handkerchief out of his inside jacket pocket and hands it to you. He's almost surprised when you accept the gesture, pressing the cloth square under your eyes to catch the tears leaking out. You were so self-reliant as a kid, never wanting or needing anyone else's help. "I don't want to blame them, but I do. I can't help it, I just do."

Someone else would have consoled you. They would have assured you that feeling this way was natural, and that no one could blame you for feeling what you do, but that isn't who you two are. "Jeff wouldn't."

His name is like a dagger to your heart. You practically wince as Hotch digs further. "That team was his family, just like we are yours. He wouldn't blame them, not for this. Not for something he chose."

Something he chose. This is why you don't let yourself remember that day. This is why you kept that day - the day you got that horrible call - locked up inside your brain, where not even you could reach it. Because if you let yourself think about it and remember, then you will remember that it wasn't really Cramer or his unit or the bureau that you blamed. It was him.

For choosing to miss his pick-up. For choosing to go undercover. For choosing to join organized crime.

You take a deep breath and re-adjust yourself in the uncomfortable chair Hotch refuses to replace, even though it's literally splitting at the seams. Something about your tax dollars hard at work. "What are you going to do about Baker?"

He lets you change the subject. "We have to contact Agent Cramer before-

"What the hell is wrong with you people?"

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

"Sorry?" Hotch frowns, both of you standing up immediately.

Cramer doesn't take his eyes off Hotch as he seethes with anger. "I told you, this is my case! You ran my agent through IBIS?"

"Because I wanted to know who he worked for and now that I do, I'd like to talk to him."

"You don't have him?"

You can hear your heartbeat in your skull.

Hotch looks at you then, and finally Cramer notices your presence. "Y/N...it's been a while."

Your lips press into a thin line. "Almost two years." The anger you've been trying to avoid seeps into your voice against your will and you sigh, returning to the investigation. "How long has Baker been missing?"

"About 12 hours."

"You think he ran?" you ask, watching Cramer closely as his jaw ticks.

"No, Jimmy's too experienced to run without contact."

He realizes his misstep immediately and his shoulders fall. To his credit, he doesn't break eye contact, even as his expression softens. "That's not what I meant. All I'm saying is that I think someone's keeping Jimmy from calling in."

You can feel Aaron looking at you, but you avoid his line of sight. If you're going to have to interact with organized crime, you might as well make yourself useful. "We all want the same thing, Cramer: to get Baker back to his family."

You wait outside as he explains the situation in more detail to Hotch and Gideon, and you're surprised when he's the first to leave. "Can we talk?"

Hotch comes out behind him and raises his eyebrow for a fraction of a second, a check-in. Swallowing thickly, you nod your head and follow him down the hall to the top of the stairs.

"I'm sorry I haven't reached out recently," he says as soon as you're out of earshot of the others. "You know Jeff was one of our top guys."

Your eyes shut at his name, as though someone clapped their hands too close to your face. It's almost laughable how sure you were that you were past your grief. You passed the bureau's psych evaluation after your six month leave with flying colors (because your team practically wrote the answers yourselves), and as each new day passed and you weren't so debilitated by just the thought of him, you thought it meant you were fine. Because time heals all wounds. At least it's supposed to.

"I know," you whisper scratchily, before clearing your throat. "I know that. And it's okay. We've all been busy." You look down at the bustling bullpen where his agents are interacting with your team. "Clearly."

Then you remember you're job here in the first place. "We really are just trying to help. It wouldn't hurt to keep us involved."

Cramer sighs and you know he won't refuse. "We'll loop you in."

***

James Baker is found and Vincent Perotta gets taken into custody, but you can still hear the end of the interrogation ringing in your ears.

"You were just responding to what you learned, Vincent.

When you grow up in an environment like that, an extremely abusive and violent household... it's not surprising that some people grow up to become killers.

And some people grow up to catch them."

You can't pinpoint exactly what you're feeling, but if you had to guess, it would be sorrow. Sorrow for that little boy who got dealt the worst hand you can imagine, and still turned into the best version of who he could've been.

Hotch can't get the interrogation out of his mind either. He had grabbed his briefcase and headed out to the elevators as soon as Perotta was taken away, in the hopes of avoiding everybody. He's about to let out his breath when a hand reaches between the doors and sends them flying open again.

Normally your appearance is a welcome sight, but tonight, he's had enough talking. Perotta took everything he had to give, and then some, and he doesn't know if he has the strength to go through the proceedings again with you.

"I just want to get home," he says as you stand next to him without a word and face the doors. To my family.

You don't say anything as the little fluorescent floor number ticks down - has it always been this slow - and he feels his nerves tighten with agitation. You're never silent, especially not about something like this.

Just before the elevator reaches the second floor, you reach forward and pull the emergency stop button. He whispers your name, half irritated half relieved, and you step in front of him, focusing your eyes on his. It's a classic profiler technique, both to mentally establish trust and to physically block him from the keypad.

"You're a great father, Aaron."

His mind flashes back 25 years, but he squeezes the hand in his pocket into a fist to keep himself from succumbing to the memories. "I'm trying."

He knows what you're doing, and he would normally be open to a healthy exchange between two adults, but tonight he just can't. It's too fresh.

You seem to understand at least a fraction of what he's trying to convey. Your next words are gentle. "That already makes you a thousand times better than him."

That almost makes him smile. "You can say his name, you know."

You shrug, looking at him with a glint in your eye. "Honestly, I don't think I can. I'm afraid I'll turn into a pile of ash, with the fury your father instills in me."

That's what gets him. He coughs out a laugh that echoes around the elevator, and you return to his side, giving him a moment to breathe on his own.

This time, when his mind spirals back to his childhood, he's not as equipped to block it. The memories come in flashes, a blackening bruise on his abdomen, a split lip explained away through roughhousing in the backyard, the thin scars on his hands and elbows as he finally started to fight back. He would've taken it all forever if he had to, if it meant that he could keep the horrors away from the people he loved. "I really should go."

"Yeah." You push the emergency stop back into place and the elevator hits the ground floor in no time. "I'll see you tomorrow, Hotch."

He steps out, half expecting you to follow him. Instead, the doors close and he's by himself again, and he suddenly can't remember why he wanted to be alone in the first place.

***

When the Keystone Killer is finally caught after 18 years of inactivity, he finds himself expecting for there to be some sort of celebration, either in the form of a commendation, or a much-needed break. Instead, what he gets is a mountain of paperwork.

He usually doesn't mind the paperwork that comes after a long case. It's a helpful way for him to sort through his thoughts on what went down, and to learn from mistakes that were made along the way, whether in the profile or in the capture of the unsub.

Lately, paperwork has felt like an added torture to the long hours he already spends at work. It's not that he wasn't excited about going home before, but ever since Jack was born, he hasn't been able to get out of the office fast enough. But being the unit chief of the BAU has its responsibilities, and this is one of them.

He's drowning in consultation files and case reports when you knock on his door, two coffees in hand.

"Thought that was you," he says, finishing the sentence he was writing.

You frown, setting one steaming cup down on his desk. He hasn't even looked up yet. "How'd you know? Or do you just say that to everyone who walks in here?"

His lip twitches and he puts his pen down. "I could smell the coffee. It always smells the same when you make it."

"Oh?" You weren't aware you had a method. "And how's that?"

"Burnt."

You take the lid off your cup and chuck it at him with surprising accuracy. It would have thwacked him in the forehead if he hadn't swatted it aside with his stupid catlike reflexes.

"What are you working on?" you ask after taking a scalding sip of perfectly brewed coffee.

He looks up for a beat before diving back into the file he was skimming. "Paperwork for the Keystone Killer case."

"But we just finished that," you point out before reaching forward and taking the file out from under his nose.

He huffs. "I was...looking at that."

"This is a report on what happened a couple of hours ago," you say, ignoring his remark. "You can easily do this tomorrow, or later this week."

"It's fresh in my mind now. I don't want to forget any details."

You shrug in a motion that says 'fair enough'. "Or, you could actually go home before midnight for once."

You slide another file off the top of his pile and flip it open, reading over the notes Hotch has scribbled in the margins. He's so meticulous about his job that you almost forget he was promoted just a little over a year ago. He became unit chief at the same time that you joined the team, so you didn't get to see him in his early days, but looking at him now, you almost can't imagine it. It's like he's built for this, for taking responsibility and leading people with kindness and respect.

"Elle said something on the plane today," he says suddenly, jerking you from your thoughts.

You close the file and look up as he runs a hand over his head, pushing his thick hair back just for it to bounce forward again. "She said that she's scared she's going to look up and see that her life has passed her by while she was chasing monsters."

Something cold runs through your veins and you sit up straighter in your chair. "And what did you say?"

"I told her the truth."

You smile in an effort to keep your eyes from shining. "What, that we're all doomed?"

He looks at you candidly. "That this job will eat you up if you let it." Your smile falls and he continues. "You just can't let it."

"I'm sure Elle loved hearing that."

He shrugs. "She was surprisingly receptive."

That gets a laugh out of you, even if the good humor doesn't last long. "I don't know how you do it."

"Do what?"

"This job, while also being a husband, and a father." You sigh, and you can almost feel the weight of the air as it leaves your body. "When I go home, I don't have to be anything to anyone. Most of the time it feels awful, but sometimes, after an especially bad case, I'm almost relieved when I can go home and just check out."

You aren't talking about him anymore, and he can tell. He doesn't mind, if this is what it will take for you to work through your emotions.

"We were gonna start trying for a baby."

That surprises him. Not that you wanted to be a mother - he knows that - but that he didn't know you were already thinking about it, especially because of how you grew up. You don't talk about it often, but after losing your mother to a drunk driver when you were ten, you almost transformed into her, becoming the emotional support for your family when there was no one else to fill that role.

You press your lips into a thin line and take a deep breath, your coffee cold and forgotten on the desk in front of you. "We had been talking about it for years, but with the paths our careers were taking, there just wasn't enough time before then." Your eyes look far away, and you don't seem to notice that your lips have unconsciously curved up into a reminiscent smile. "Jeff wanted five kids. Five. God, can you imagine?"

He can, but he doesn't say anything, because he knows you aren't looking for a response. Just for someone to listen.

"I'm an only child," you say with a laugh. "I don't even know what it's like to have one sibling, let alone four." But Jeff had come from a huge family, and he had wanted you to experience that. He loved how full his home always felt growing up, never without someone to talk to. Now you won't ever get to experience that. "I guess I just wish sometimes that we had tried earlier."

"You'll have it someday," Hotch says simply, practically reading your mind. "If that's what you want, you'll have it."

"I waited so long," you whisper, closing your eyes for a long moment. "I was just so afraid that I wouldn't do it right, because I didn't have my mother anymore to help me."

"You would've been a great mother," he assures you, his voice confident. "One day, you will be."

Your breath comes out like a gasp and you clear your throat to keep the tears at bay. "How do you know?"

"I just know."

***

When you push through the doors to the bullpen the next morning, you are greeted by a familiar head of blonde hair.

"Sean?"

He turns around slowly, clearly recognizing your voice, and pulls his lips up into a smile that you return. "Hey, Y/N, how's it going?"

You weren't close to him as a kid, mostly because of the age gap between him and Hotch. You had tried to make more of an effort after graduating college, but Sean was fierce in his convictions, and there were a lot of things he didn't understand about his childhood that you certainly weren't going to explain to him now.

"Good, good," you say, leading him away from the throng of staring women. You shoot them a look that makes them disperse. "You here for your brother? He's upstairs."

He nods, glancing up at the closed office door. You start to lead him to the stairwell when he stops in his tracks and turns to you. "What mood's he in?"

"Why?" you ask, your brow furrowing. "You got bad news? Nothing I need to worry about, I hope."

Sean shakes his head, glancing up at the closed door again. "Nothing like that. I'll just go up."

You let him walk up on his own, knowing he doesn't want you getting involved in whatever he's thinking about. Before you have a moment to catch your breath, the three women return to your side.

"That's Hotch's brother?" Penelope asks, standing so close you can feel her breath on your ear.

"Maybe Hotch is adopted."

"What do you mean?" you ask, unconsciously glancing up the stairs. "They're honestly pretty similar." You're only half joking. They don't look anything alike, but that Hotchner brand of righteousness runs deep.

JJ frowns. "I don't see it."

"Yeah, he looks...like that," Penelope murmurs, before looking at you. "Did you know him when you were younger? Was he hot then too?"

You choke on your own spit. "He was nine years old when I left for college, so...no."

Her eyes widen and she lifts her hands in surrender.

"Ooh, here he comes."

You look up to see Sean storming down the stairs, Hotch hot on his heels.

"Sean, listen to me."

He turns so fast, you're afraid they're going to crash into each other. "Don't profile me, Aaron."

Sean stomps out of the bullpen while Hotch watches him leave, and you can't get the striking feeling of deja vu out of your head. Two boys, 15 years younger than they are now, standing in the same positions, with the same looks on their faces.

You imagine that you and Hotch probably act the same way around each other as when you first met, at eight years old.

The memory comes easily, even with more than two decades of time standing in the way. The little boy with dark hair who had sat next to you on the school bus, just because there were no other empty seats available that day.

You hadn't said anything for the first few stops, just watched him out of the corner of your eye as he nodded his head unconsciously to the music coming out of his large headphones. Eventually, curiosity got the better of you and you tapped on his shoulder. "What are you listening to?"

He had taken his headphones off quickly, as though caught in the act. "What?"

You repeated your question before leveling him with a pointed stare that meant 'there is a correct answer'. You were a feisty kid, and you weren't always the best at making first impressions, so his steady response impressed you. "Beatles. Revolver album."

"I love that one!" you had gushed, leaning in closer without a warning to press your ear to one of the speakers on his headphones. "Is this Yellow Submarine?"

He had nodded, the confusion in his eyes slowly transforming into delight. "You know their stuff?"

"Of course. My favorite's Eleanor Rigby."

He had frowned then. "That one's too sad."

You weren't surprised by his opinion. You had yet to find a boy your age who could appreciate serious music, but liking The Beatles was a start, at least.

"I'm Y/N," you had said, extending your hand like you were starting a business meeting.

He shook your hand furtively. "Aaron."

"Maybe I'll see you around."

The school bus had stopped at your street then, and you had gotten up without another word to this boy, who would one day become your best friend in the world.

Luckily, the next day, Aaron chose to sit next to you again, this time with a second pair of headphones to attach to his compact cassette deck. Two days turned to three, and before long, you had a new friend.

***

"I can't imagine what two weeks away from this place is gonna feel like," you sigh, packing some essentials into your bag and snapping it shut. "I might actually miss you guys."

"Not me," Morgan grins, before pressing a kiss to your cheek as he zips around you. "Two weeks of pure heaven with nothing but young, beautiful adults looking to make vacation memories."

"Your friend's resort better be as nice as you say it is," Elle says sternly as she wiggles her finger at Derek, who is busy inviting Reid to join their vacation.

"Thanks, but I'm going home," he says quickly, without looking at any of you. "Have a good one, guys."

"I'll head out too," you announce, grabbing your things and following him to the elevators. "Wait up, Spence."

He doesn't seem to hear you, but you slip through the doors just before they close. "You okay?"

"Huh?" he says, finally looking up. "Oh, yeah. I'm just not looking forward to the Nevada heat."

You can tell he's lying, but you don't want to press him right before the long break. "You can always call me if you need anything. Seriously."

"Yeah," he nods. "I know."

You wave goodbye to him in the parking lot, and you're back in the silence of your home by the end of the hour.

The rest of your day is spent lazing around the house, and you're asleep when you hear a knock at your door. After Jeff's death, you started keeping your gun in your nightstand, more out of a general sense of security than any specific acute fear, but its proximity during late night calls has given you the peace of mind you needed to finally sleep through the night.

Lifting it from the drawer, you hold it behind your back as you tiptoe to your front door and look through the peephole. When you don't see anyone, you carefully pull the door open, only to find a small packet sitting on your welcome mat with your name scrawled on the top.

After bringing it inside the house and locking the door again, you pry open the seal and extract a large piece of paper covered in a series of numbers and dots.

That's when the phone rings.

***

"How's it going?" you ask Reid and Morgan as you enter the conference room where all of the Fisher King's clues have been laid out. Neither of them have taken their eyes off the paper you brought in since you tacked it up on the board.

As expected, Reid doesn't look up. "The answer to what book we need has to be in here."

"Yeah," Derek sighs, glancing over at you, "but we sure as hell can't see it."

"Yet."

You look at the numbers again, hoping that your short walk to the coffee station and back would have been enough to unlock something new in your brain. Nothing. "The answer has to be based on specific details of each person's clue." A small sound turns your attention to the couch, where Elle is lying on her side. "Is Elle asleep?"

"I'm awake!" she starts, sitting up lethargically.

At the outburst, Hotch walks into the room and points at her bags. "I'm sending you home. You need to get some rest."

"No-"

"We won't do anything without you, I promise."

"Elle, seriously, we're not any closer than we were."

She nods, her lack of sleep seeming to dawn on her as she yawns again.

"Anderson," Hotch calls out, before you stop him. "What is it?"

"I can take her home," you suggest, looking over your shoulder as she lugs her bags down the hall with bleary eyes. He looks like he wants to protest, so you speak up before he has the chance. "She barely knows Anderson. I'll make sure she's settled, and then you can send him to watch her house, so I can come back here."

"I don't know if that's a good idea," he sighs, his eyes still trained on Elle's silhouette lingering by the elevator. "We may need you here."

You cock your head at Reid and Morgan, who have been sitting in the same positions for so long, you're surprised their necks haven't locked. "It's like they said. We haven't made any progress in over an hour. I'm not helping here."

He still looks unsure, but you know it's just worry. He'll always worry about you. "Okay, go. Call me in an hour to check-in."

You dip your head in a nod and jog through the bullpen to catch Elle as she's heading out.

"So you're my bodyguard, huh?"

You laugh, pressing the button for the ground floor. "Something like that."

"Good," Elle says, trying and failing to stifle a yawn, "you're much more fun than Anderson."

"Prettier, too."

The car ride to her house starts off silent, but eventually you break your internal promise to let her come to you. "How are you feeling after last night?"

She just shrugs. "It was more annoying than anything. I'm just glad I got to enjoy at least some of my vacation."

"I heard there was blood all over your room," you point out lightly, trying to broach the subject in a delicate manner. "That can't have been fun to wake up to."

"It was all on the outside. That's part of why they weren't able to hold me. That, and Hotch's lawyer chops."

You raise an eyebrow, glancing over at her as you pull over to the sidewalk. "His lawyer chops?" You know he used to be a prosecutor before joining the bureau, but you never got to see his skills in action.

"Yeah," Elle gushes, her face brightening considerably, "you should have seen the way he walked in there. Those beat cops had no idea what hit 'em. He was in full prosecutor mode, went all rainmaker on them until they released me."

You can imagine it. If any of you were in trouble, he wouldn't let anything get between him and your safety. "I wish I could've seen that."

When you put the car in park, you help Elle with her bags and walk her up to her door, where she insists that she'll be fine on her own.

"I promised I would wait with you until another agent could come and relieve me," you emphasize, instinctively scanning the vicinity around her home as she walks inside and drops her things on the floor.

"In about thirty seconds, I'll be passed out on this couch right here," she points at the window seat behind her, "so you'll just be watching me sleep for an hour."

You open your mouth to argue but she cuts you off. "Y/N, I'll be fine."

If there's one word to describe Elle, it's stubborn, so you let her shut the door behind her and you walk back to your car. Even if she won't let you sit with her inside, you still can't bring yourself to start the ignition, so you lean your seat back halfway and close your eyes, just for a few moments.

You haven't gotten much sleep either, and you're about to doze off when you hear a loud thud from outside the car. Jerking up, you undo the clasp of your holster and push open the car door. The world is silent, except for the rustling of leaves in the wind, but you start making your way up the drive, just to be sure. There's another thud, quieter this time, and you reach for your sidearm as you ascend her porch steps. Then comes a gunshot.

You start running.

983 notes · View notes

woso-dreamzzz · 5 months

Text

Injured (Jenni's Version)

Jenni Hermoso x Child!Reader

Summary: You go home

You don't understand what's going on.

Well, you do but you don't know why everyone is acting so weird.

Last night, Mami came to visit. She took one look at you and burst into tears. She held you close and cried. She cried and cried and cried and you didn't know how to make her feel better. She just kept crying and holding you.

At first, it was nice. To be held by Mami, you mean, but suddenly her arms felt like shackles around your body, like bricks tried to your legs as you try to fight against the pool you've been thrown into. Everything about her was too hot and too restrictive and you could do little but go limp as she held you.

You're much too tiny to fight against Mami. She is big and strong and you are small and weak.

She released you a little while later and said goodbye.

There was something in the way she said it that seemed very final. You don't know why you called out to her but you did.

She turned, a glimmer of something in her eyes but you just gave her back the train you desperately wanted all those months ago. The one that you had hoped to get for your birthday but didn't. The one you had hoped to get for Christmas but didn't.

You gave it back to her.

"I'm sorry that I don't want to play with it, Mami," You'd told her before retreating back to Mama.

But that was last night and today is different.

Today, you got up early and got dressed and brushed your teeth until they were squeaky clean.

Tia Alba drives you and Mama to the airport. You don't really go to airports a lot.

Mami never liked it bringing you to camps with her so you didn't travel nearly as much as she did, only for very special occasions like the Champion's League final.

Tia Alba comes with you both through check in and she holds you while Mama goes through the scary scanning machine and waits for you on the other side.

It's big and scary and you don't like going through it but Mama is on the other side and she scoops you up into a hug as soon as you make it through.

Airports are big too but you're holding Mama's hand so you feel safe as she leads you through.

It's early and you're hungry and you get a small snack to hold you over.

"Private plane, huh?" Tia Alba teases as she sips a coffee.

Mama rolls her eyes. "They're just happy to have me back. We're lucky they didn't send over an escort to make sure we got home safe."

You don't know a lot, you're only little but you know you're travelling somewhere today. You know this because Mama has two documents that say you're both travelling. She's got your new passport too.

It's got your new name on it and that's how you know it's new.

It's tucked into her coat pocket nice and safe.

You're travelling with your Mama, you know that for certain.

A lot has changed though and you're not too sure what it is exactly. You have a new name and you don't know why. You like your new name though. It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Putellas-Hermoso is in your passport now.

You've always thought that the Putellas part of your name looked lonely. You like that it has a friend now.

Tia Alba looks at you and smiles. "Are you happy to be going to Mexico, Bambi?"

"That's where you live!" You tell Mama and she laughs, fondly brushing your hair from your face.

"It's where you live now too."

You frown. "But ballet-"

"There's a ballet studio right down the street from our house," Mama tells you," You've got lessons on Wednesday for two hours and then nine until lunch on Saturdays."

You don't know how to respond to that, perplexed that Mama already knows your new dance schedule.

"That sounds fun," Tia Alba says," I'll have to come visit soon."

Your brows furrow. "You're not coming, Tia?"

She shakes her head. "My life is here, bambi," She says.

"So's mine," Your voice isn't even above a whisper and no one hears you. You've never thought about leaving Spain before, not permanently anyway.

Mami told you that it's because you're like her. You're a homebody. You're just like Mami.

You don't know if you want to be like Mami anymore.

The Putellas in your old passport always looked lonely. It has Hermoso now so it's not lonely anymore. But you don't think Hermoso would be lonely if it was by itself.

A fancy man in a suit comes up to Mama, whispering in her ear and she nods, picking you up on her hips easily.

She and Tia Alba wheel the suitcases after him.

You wander through the back halls of the airport until you're on the tarmac where a plane is waiting.

Tia Alba called it a private plane. You know Mami's been on those lots but you haven't been once. When you've travelled, it's been with Tia Alba or Abuela in one of the normal people's planes.

This is new and a little strange but not unwelcome, you think.

There are stairs leading up to it and Tia Alba stops at the bottom of them. She kneels in front of you and cups your face.

"I love you, bambi," She says to you, looking deep into your eyes," And I will come visit you very soon." She gives you a big hug that you somehow feel in your very soul.

"I love you too, Tia Alba," You say and Mama takes your hand to lead you inside.

You don't remember much of the flight.

You know a few things though.

It is long, very long. You sleep a lot and eat when Mama says that you should. She holds you as you sleep. You are not coming back to Spain for a long while.

You don't know that last one for sure but you still think it's true.

Deep down, you know it is true.

You think Tia Alba knew that too which is why she came with you all the way to the plane steps.

But still, you sleep for most of the flight, wrapped up protectively in Mama's strong arms.

You float between sleep and awake but Mama never disappears. Her arms hold you close and her perfume wraps around you like a blanket.

You are still tired when the plane lands. You remain tired in the trip from the airport to where Mama lives.

It is dark out now, night time and you should really be asleep.

You're sleepy but you can't sleep. Mami once said you got that from her too.

You don't want that from her though.

You only got the bad bits from Mami, you think. You can't sleep because she can't sleep. You don't go out because she doesn't go out.

You wish you got the good parts of Mami like her ability to kick a ball. You think Mami could have loved you if you could kick a ball. You think Mami would have let you stay if you could kick a ball.

Or, maybe, you could have gotten her confidence. Mami knows how to speak to people. She knows how to tell people how she's feeling. You can't do that. Maybe, if you had told Mami at the beginning, when she still loved you enough to care, she wouldn't have sent you away.

Maybe, if you had tried to be the good parts of Mami instead of the bad then you could have lived with her and Olga and Jaume.

You are with Mama now though. That is good. You like that. You know you're going to like living with Mama but some awful part of you still yearns for the Mami from Before.

You think that Mami from Before would have come to you when you fell off the slide.

You'd like to think the Mami from Before would do that but you wonder if the Mami from Before even cared about you. You wonder if you were her little guinea pig so she could be a good Mami to Jaume.

You hope you aren't.

But...

The car shuts off and Mama picks you out of your car seat. She drags in the bags but sets you on the floor so she can pick out her house keys from her pocket.

Mama has a doorknocker on her door. She doesn't have a doorbell like Mami does. Her doorknocker is pristine. It is clean and not stiff at all. You can tell it is old though but it's definitely looked after.

Mama ushers you inside, flicking on the lights as soon as she gets the lights on.

"Do you want to look around by yourself or do you want me to go around with you?"

You don't answer Mama.

She's got a mantelpiece above a fireplace that you wonder ever gets used.

But it's neither the mantel nor the fire that actually has your attention.

There's a picture that you're focussed on.

Mama is smiling at the camera. She's holding you when you were a baby, wrapped in the soft pink baby blanket she bought for you when you were very little.

She's beaming as she looks at the camera and you look perfectly happy and content in her arms.

"That's you," Mama says," When you were still a baby. I visited you and Alexia in hospital. After her and the doctors, I was the next person to hold you."

"Really?"

"Really." Mama's hand rests on your shoulder and you lean into her legs. "How about we get ready for bed? It's late."

You let her lead you away, up the stairs into what you assume is your new bedroom.

It is different from your bedroom back home. There is a mirror and a barre like at your ballet studio and rows of ballet pumps lined up next to it.

"I had someone do it up while I came to get you," Mama explains as she rummages through a few boxes for pyjamas.

They're train-themed and Mama has to puppeteer your arms because you're so exhausted.

You're so tired and you feel so strange and Mama is so warm and safe that you burst into tears.

They bubble up from some secret part of you and tear from your throat. They're full-on sobs as well, your body shaking from exertion as each of them comes out.

Mama's hands flutter uncertainly around you before you're lying against her on your new bed.

Your tears drip-drop onto her shirt and one of her big hands cup the back of your head, pushing it further into her like you're a little baby like Jaume.

You wonder if Mami is going to give your train to Jaume. You wonder if she did it last night after she visited you. You wonder if Mami is happy you are gone now.

You wonder if she's going to turn your room into Jaume's new playroom. You wonder if she's going to be happier now that she doesn't have to fit your ballet into her schedule anymore.

You have Mama now but that doesn't mean you don't think of Mami while you cry. You have Mama and she is strong and brave and you think she can take care of your feelings for you while you're still weak and scared.

You have Mama but she is not Mami like how Mami is not Mama.

Mama could never be Mami and you don't want her to be.

Mami never wanted you. You think you know that now. You think you know you were the biggest mistake of Mami's life. You think you are lucky that she loved you enough to look after you until someone else could.

You think Mami is special. She wins lots of awards for her football. People admire your Mami. They chant her name and scream their praise. Mami wins medals and trophies. She's one of the best football players in the world.

You think she'll be the best Mami in the world to Jaume too.

No, you know she'll be the best Mami in the world to Jaume.

Mami has always been a good Mami to Jaume. Jaume who is named after Abuelo. Jaume who is Olga's baby. Jaume who is wanted and loved and planned.

Everyone loves Jaume.

You love him too though you wish that you didn't. You think you would be happier if you could hate Jaume, if you could dislike him at all but he's only little and he's still your brother so you love him.

Your family shares love equally between you and him, you think, or they try to. They try to have the same amount of love for you as they have for him. You don't think that's easy to do.

You think that's why you've gone away with Mama.

It is hard and it is mean but it is what has happened.

Jaume is littler than you. He needs more help to grow up. He needs more love than you because he's a little boy and you're a big girl. You think he's going to be a footballer like Mami so he has to stay close to her so he can learn.

If one of you had to leave, of course it would be you.

In a secret part of you, hidden deep down, you think it is nice that you're left with Mama. She will never love Jaume as much as she loves you. It is bad to think about that but you like it.

You like that you don't have to share Mama's love.

You like that you will be the only child she will hold like this. You will be the only child she will tuck into bed or help at bath time. You will be the only child who will live in this house with her.

You will be the only one who she loves like this.

You do not feel bad that Jaume will never experience your Mama. He has Mami and Olga and the rest of the family.

He has a Putellas. He has always been a Putellas. He will always be a Putellas. He is Mami's son.

You have Mama. You are a Hermoso. You haven't always been a Hermoso. You will be a Hermoso forever though.

You are Mama's daughter.

#woso x reader #jenni hermoso x reader #jenni hermoso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso

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ruewrote · 5 months

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𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡.

PAIRING: stiles stilinski x fem!reader WARNINGS: none GENRE: fluff SONG INSPIRATION: teenage dream by katy perry WORD COUNT: 1294

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it wasn't out of the blue for you and stiles to have a sleepover on fridays, actually it was a sort of unspoken rule between the two of you.

it first started when you said that you had never watched star wars before, which led to the both of you sitting on your couch with a big bowl of popcorn in between.

him explaining the little parts you'd get confused about or him just ranting about his favourite scenes. after that it was a back and forth of showing each other your favourite unseen movies.

when finishing said movie the following days you'd receive multiple memes from him about the specific films, it had become a recurring pattern that you'd come to love. it almost felt weird if he didn't.

tonight it was your turn to introduce him to the to all the boys i loved before trilogy since you'd been obsessed with the movies since they first came out.

he was on the fence about watching them since he wasn't a huge fan of romcoms, you somehow convinced him by saying "it's practice for watching them with your future girlfriend!" internally wincing at that.

every friday you felt more anxious before stiles showed, trying to fluff up your pillows and straighten out your blankets. wanting to make everything perfect.

you had a huge crush on stiles, how could you not after spending so much time together, learning all of his little quirks, his likes and his dislikes, the only thing you weren't sure about was the way he felt about you.

it was the one thing you wanted to know the most about him. did he think about you the same ways you thought about him? did he like the way cuddled when you'd watch these movies and shows with him?

you couldn't tell him though, what if he didn't feel the same way you did and it completely ruins the good friendship you have right now?

what would it take for you to finally tell him?

ding dong!

the doorbell ringing a couple times had you jogging down the stairs, opening the door with a warm smile to see hyper stiles.

"i'm so ready to get my movie night on! i had a math test today and let me tell you it sucked," he whines as he dramatically wraps his arms around your waist as he fake cries into your shoulder.

"well if it helps i have enough microwaveable popcorn to keep us going through the apocalypse soo you coming upstairs or what?"

with that said he zips past you up your stairs, falling up them in the process, making you giggle at his eagerness as you follow close behind him.

watching stiles practically swan dive onto your bed and aggressively sniff your pillow has you side eyeing him, "why is your bed so much comfier and smells so much nicer than mine? it's so not fair."

"it's a little thing called fabric softener and if you continuously jump into your bed the way you do mine, then i guess you've got your answer you dufus," you laugh at him burrowing himself deep under your duvet.

"plus i've slept in your bed it's plenty comfy, the key is lots of pillows and fluffy blankets." he hums as you settle yourself beside him before pressing play on the movie.

it was like ten minutes into the film when you could feel him slightly shuffle closer to you, keeping your eyes on the screen pretending it didn't happen. just patiently waiting until he felt comfortable enough to say something.

"can...can we cuddle?" you wordlessly lifted your arm, letting him slip himself under, his head on your chest, the rest of his body lightly pressed to your side.

it was like second nature to you two, whether either one of you had a bad week you'd take turns holding each other. you helped install healthy mannerisms that proved that it was okay for a man to be held because they deserve it too and that it was okay for guys to cry no matter who they're with.

so yes , when he had a rough day he'd often walk up to you and bury his face into your neck, his arms firmly wrapped around you as you cupped the back of his head and rubbed soft circles on his back just letting him know that you were there for him.

with everything he had gone through he deserved all the comfort he could get and if the source was you then so be it.

you would be lying if you said that your heart didn't speed up at the closeness and how his touch on your skin left goosebumps.

trying to be as casual as possible, you raise the hand that was currently wrapped around his shoulders to gently stroke his hair, feeling him physically melt into you calmed your nerves.

feeling your eyelids slowly droop, your hand movements become slower so your palm now laid on the back of his neck, fighting sleep felt so difficult when he was beside you. his presence was so peaceful, comforting even without him saying anything.

the early start of your day hitting even harder now. He won't mind if you rested your eyes for a little bit, right?

stiles noticed the similarities between the two characters to the both of you, but there's no way that you deliberately put this on as a sign? was he reading too deep into it?

when he went to question you about it, lifting his head he was met with you sleeping peacefully. his gaze softened at the sight, gently tucking the piece of hair that fell in front of your face.

"you are so goddamn beautiful and don't even know it, even when you sleep? like can you save some beauty for the rest of us?" he chuckles at his own joke.

"i don't know how long i can keep pretending that i'm not totally in love with you...there really isn't anything that i wouldn't do for you." he whispers and he studies your features.

"it's honestly crazy how i feel your absence in everything that i do when i'm alone, in every place i go without you." he sighs, going to go back to watching the tv.

"you really mean all of that?" you whisper, making him jump back.

"uh- i-i do, but i thought you were asleep?"

"no i was just resting my eyes, but i'm sorta glad that you thought i was for you to finally confess your feelings for me." you smirk at him.

his mouth opens and closes, utterly bewildered at what you just said, "what do you mean finally?"

"You realise that i like you too, right? that i have for the longest time?" stiles eyes now wide, looking even more lost than before.

"you like me? like like me like me?"

sitting up, grasping the back of his neck, "what are you..." pulling him closer, your lips brushing against his. it takes him a second to register the kiss before melting into it. leaning closer to deepen the kiss. his hands brushing over your hips as he laid you down, now hovering over you. your hand running through his hair, tugging at the roots.

you're both now smiling as you share a few more pecks before pulling away. "so you do like me!" he grins, "oh my god. dude yes!"

"ya know if you're gonna be my girlfriend, you're gonna have to calling me dude."

"would you prefer shnookums?"

"that's it!" he pulled away just enough to tickle you.

from that night forth you and stiles had become inseparable, practically connected at the hip. but you wouldn't want it any other way.

comments and reblogs are appreciated ♡

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dearhargrove · 6 months

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Reassurance

summary You comfort Evan after he has to deal with his parents over the course of four days.

word count 730

tags fluff, just someone being there for my bb buck, short and sweet

a/n So basically I was watching the Buck Begins episode and died every minute where his parents neglected him and generally every second of that episode :( so expect some more Buck fics to come (Eddie too tho !!)

masterlist

You didn't know but you were probably the sole reason Buck wasn't completely breaking down every day he wakes up and has to deal with the two people that call themselves his parents.

After the first dinner he had felt bad, but he'd felt like he usually does with them. Alone, unwanted and never enough. That day he'd come home to you, quiet and dull.

You hadn't made him talk about it when he didn't start explaining himself, instead you simply wrapped your arms around him and held him close. That's when he'd felt loved. That night he waited until you had fallen asleep before letting himself cry.

What did he expect? For some reason he had hoped they'd changed. Or at least that they would be proud of him. After all, he'd saved a lot of people and does so every day. Instead he is reminded that they hadn't bothered to check on him when he almost died twice - first by being crushed and second because of the blood clots - and then laid in the hospital.

Those were the people supposed to love him no matter what and all he got was constant criticism.

That night you had woken up not long after him because of his missing warmth. With a worried expression you'd found him and once again, held him close. He had melted into your arms, tears starting to fall again as he clutched you close as if scared to lose you.

After reassurance you would gladly give any day you had gone back to bed, your hand on his cheek and caressing his birthmark.

Today you hadn't even known Buck would see them or be confronted by their doings. The last time you'd heard about them was when he explained that he had a brother. That he was only conceived to be a match for a bone marrow transplant.

That night had been harder than the one before. You're quite sure no matter how much you tried to show him that he wasn't just a failed way to save someone you don't think it got completely through to him. And you didn't blame him; you couldn't imagine living with something like that weighing you down.

You're in his kitchen trying one of Bobby's recipes when the door opens and Buck comes in. You could read him like a book; there wasn't a moment you weren't able to tell what he was feeling. But now? You genuinely didn't know.

He was frowning but there's a smile resting on his face and his eyes are red.

“Buck?”

He looks up, seeing you there in his sweater with a knife in your hand as you chop vegetables for a recipe from Bobby he loved, and he breaks. But instead of simply crying he chuckles, too.

“Buck, what's going on?” Your voice is worried and he just shakes his head as he wraps his arms around your waist and presses his forehead to yours. You put the knife down and reach up to cup his face and your index finger soothes over his birthmark, something you'd made a habit over the year of being with him.

“I think they're finally accepting me for.. me.” He only says and you sigh but nod. He notices your slight apprehension and quickly adds on, “But I don't want them to. I don't need their acceptance. They don't decide how much I'm worth.”

Your mouth forms an ‘o’ in surprise but you laugh breathlessly and nod, “Exactly. You're saving lives on the daily, you don't need anyone to tell you how good you are. Not your parents, not your friends, not me.”

He nods along until the last part where he cocks his head and looks at you with his signature half smirk. “I do need you to tell me how good I am, actually.” That makes you smile as well and you sigh, “That's not what I meant and you know it.”

He just shrugs and unlike when he first came in you can see pure happiness and love on his face.

“God, I love you so much, Evan Buckley.”

He grins and surges forward to kiss you passionately, his hands gripping your hips as if you'd slip through his fingers any moment.

#evan buckley x reader #evan buckley #oliver stark #911 fanfic #911 show #911 spoilers #9 1 1 #9 1 1 fanfiction

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pers1st · 7 months

Text

afterglow - alexia putellas x reader

part 3 of dancing with the devil, painkillers

pairing: alexia putellas x singer!reader

warnings: mentions of OD

Keira was taken away first. Alexia noticed it as she marched across the damp pitch, a winter coat shielding her body from the cool wind, her body glistening with sweat. Barcelona had won, the way they always did, and Alexia, as the captain, had been the first to call the team into a circle afterwards, in order to listen to Jona's speech, which she knew wouldn't be long today, and thank the fans afterwards.

The chants and cheers had been relentless today. Alexia knew it was the right thing to walk towards them and spend time with them, thank them, but as she watched Lucy, who had spent the last twenty minutes on the sub bench, put her arms around Keira and softly guided her shaking ex-girlfriend away from the pitch, tears shining in her own eyes, Alexia's feet stopped moving. Her gaze followed the women until it couldn't, and they disappeared into the tunnel.

If Lucy cried, something bad had likely happened. If she told Keira, it likely involved you. Alexia's heart was racing at the realization, and she managed to take a total of three rushed steps before a body pulled her shoulders back. Fighting the force slightly as she wriggled in what she knew was her best friend's grip, Alexia's worry soon turned into anger.

"¡Suélta me!" (Let me go), Alexia whispered through clenched teeth, struggling to free her arms of Mapi's grip and follow Lucy and Keira to wherever they had disappeared to.

"No", Mapi sighed, and suddenly appeared on Alexia's side, only letting go of the shoulder closest to her. Ingrid suddenly stepped towards Alexia's other side. It seemed the woman had appeared out of thin air, but your ex-girlfriend didn't have the capacity to wonder where she'd come from, or why the two were escorting her into the tunnel and towards the nearest office. Ingrid peaked through the door and sighed a snip of relief at the realization that the room was empty.

"¿Que pasa?", (What happened?) Alexia asked, her voice softer this time as she realized that something had most definitely happened. And it most definitely involved you.

"It's about Y/N", Ingrid started, leading Alexia to sit in the chair across from the desk before turning the chair around softly, crouching down in front of Alexia. The captain couldn't see the darkness in Ingrid's eyes, or the way her shoulders slumped, or the fact that this whole setup meant very, very bad news.

"Did she call you? Did you hear from her? What did she- what did she say?", Alexia asked, hope suddenly glooming in her. Maybe you had reached out to Ingrid, maybe Keira had reached out to Ingrid, maybe you wanted her back, maybe you'd allow her back into your life, maybe the two of you-

"No, Ale", Mapi sighed, a soft touching finding her shoulder gently. Alexia looked up at the woman who stood in front of her, and only then did she see the tears in her best friend's eyes. Mapi didn't cry often. She was like Lucy in that sense.

"Ale, she-"

Ingrid struggled to find the words to describe. Alexia struggled to find the air to breathe.

"She overdosed. She's in the hospital- it's-", before Ingrid could finish her sentence, Alexia swatted her hand away from her knee.

"No. No, no, no-", she breathed, suddenly the room closing in on her. The walls came flying closer and she could do nothing but allow Ingrid and Mapi to stare at her. Tears spilled from her eyes quicker than she could stop them, but in all honesty, even trying would've been useless. The woman sitting in front of Mapi and Ingrid wasn't the stern faced, dedicated and composed captain of Barcelona and Spain anymore, the woman in front of them was a crying, broken woman. She hid her face in her hands to shield herself at least a little bit, but it was no use.

You had overdosed. You took drugs?! Had this started before the breakup, had she done this to you? Had you done this on purpose? Had you been broken enough to want to-

Had she done this to you?

She thought back to the livestream just a few hours ago. It seemed like an eternity now. It was clear as day now - the way you had wobbled on stage, the way you had been so devoid of emotion, the way everything had just seemed off with you - you had been high. Since when were you doing drugs?! How had she missed this?

It took Ingrid's hand to reach her knee again for the woman to realize she couldn't breathe anymore.

"Ale, please- you have to-"

Alexia couldn't hear the rest of her words, because the sob that left her mouth was one loud enough to, it seemed to her, shake the whole stadium.

Overdosed. Overdosed. Overdosed.

The sobs kept wrecking her frame, even as Ingrid gripped her knee harder in an attempt to steady her captain.

"Alexia", Mapi pleaded, her words barely above a whisper. Had Alexia not been so encapsulated in her own thoughts, in her own pain, she might've realized how odd it was for Mapi to get, she might've realized how close she was to having a panic attack.

But she didn't. She couldn't hear Ingrid begging for her to take a breath, couldn't hear the soothing words the both of them kept repeating over and over again.

All she could hear was your stupid voice and all the stupid songs you used to sing for her. Would she ever hear that voice again?

It was a known phenomenon that the first thing you forgot about a deceased person was their voice. Alexia hadn't heard your voice in over two weeks, at least not in real life - would she ever hear it again? Would she forget it, if you died?

The thought gripped every cell of her body, squeezing and squeezing until the air dispersed from her lungs, until the bile rose on her throat, until she became so lightheaded she had to remove her hand from her face to hold onto Ingrid's woman and steady herself because of how close she felt to passing out.

It was memories of you that spun her head. It was your laugh that she couldn't seem to drown out anymore, it was the way you'd said "I'm leaving, I'm so sorry", it was that night you'd showed up at her flat, ready for the tour of the city she had promised you over Instagram messages, it was that first time you'd ended up in her bed and every time afterwards, it was every hug you had given her when the pressure had been too much, it was every phone call, every facetime, it was you. Everything was you. Every last bit of her thought about you.

If it hadn't been for Ingrid and Mapi, she might've stayed in that ugly and bare office forever. After all, why should she move? With everything she'd been told, she'd never move on anyway. Why would she go back to the city you had fallen in love with, why should she go back to the apartment you'd shared with her, why should she go back to the bed you'd spent so many nights in?

Because Mapi and Ingrid said so, and because Alexia was too exhausted to complain. It was Ingrid who walked her back to the changing room once Mapi had checked it was empty, it was Ingrid who'd guided her into the shower gently, setting out fresh clothes and everything else Alexia needed.

In the end, it was Ingrid who took her clothes off at the realization that her teammate wouldn't move, even if Alexia tried. She'd asked for permission, and Alexia had nodded absentmindedly, something that would've been unimaginable just hours ago. Alexia never let anyone see her in a vulnerable state of any kind, but she was too tired. Too exhausted. That wasn't what made her cry in the shower though.

It was the memories of you.

The way Ingrid took off her clothes was entirely different to the way you had. There was nothing loving (not in that way, at least), about it. Ingrid didn't kiss every inch of her exposed skin, Ingrid didn't giggle the way you did as she removed Alexia's shirt, Ingrid didn't peck Alexia's lips at every chance she got, but the fact that the woman removing Alexia's clothes wasn't you was enough to send silent tears down her cheeks.

The captain didn't even have enough energy to sob for you. The realization only multiplied the tears.

In the end, Alexia didn't know how she had made it back to Barcelona, back to Ingrid and Mapi's spare room, and, in the end, back into the bed you'd once laid in.

Perhaps it was the statement your team had issued mere days after the overdose, stating that you were okay physically, stating that you would begin rehab soon, stating that you would take some private time to deal with all of the past events.

Perhaps it was the fact that you disappeared off the face of the earth for a year. Not a single post, or story to your socials. Not a single song. Not a single show. Not a single message. It was foolish to say that she managed to forget about you, because - let's be honest, it was you she was thinking about every morning she woke up, every match that she would glance into the family section and not find you next to her mother, every medal she didn't get to wear as you made love to her. She could never forget about you. And she hoped that you wouldn't forget about her either.

Still, shock couldn't describe the emotion she felt as a hand tapped her shoulder gently as she stood at the FIFA's best awards, conversing gently with Lucy.

"Hey, strangers."

She heard the words before she could turn around to see you, but she hadn't forgotten your voice. She could never forget your voice.

"Hey, you", Lucy smiled with her teeth as she pulled your body into a hug, so tight that your eyes almost came out of their sockets. Alexia smiled softly as you frowned in Lucy's arms, chuckling at your expressions.

This was the last place she had expected you to be. It was the last place anyone had expected you to be minus Keira, Lucy and their families. All of them were here tonight, and it made Alexia a little anxious to know you'd been here throughout the whole ceremony and she hadn't even noticed.

When Lucy let you go, you looked at Alexia with a slightly unsure expression. You had known she'd be here, but as Keira was finally nominated for the award for the first time, and not just the best XI, you had promised her you'd be there, even if it meant seeing Alexia again.

In all honesty, seeing Alexia again was part of the reason you'd come here, though you'd never admit it. Reaching out to her would've been foolish after everything you'd put her through, clenching complete radio silence for over a year. This was a nice occasion - one where she wouldn't think you'd come just to see her, but could still converse with you (hopefully), without the attention being on the two of you.

Before you could think about mumbling an excuse to leave the two women at Alexia's lack of a reaction to your presence, the woman pulled you into a hug. A hug that was even tighter as Lucy's, which you hadn't thought to be possible. But you didn't fight Alexia's arms around you. You could never fight her touch, could never resist the familiar smell of her perfume and the way her hair covered your nose as you buried your face in the crane of her neck.

"Lo siento", you whispered into her, just enough for her to hear and everyone else to miss, though Lucy did smirk at seeing how tightly the two of you were embraced.

"Not here", Alexia mumbled back and pulled herself out of your arms, smiling softly. Though you were disappointed, you couldn't help the smile of your own. Not here meant somewhere else. You'd get to talk to Alexia again. You'd get to explain, get to apologize. It was what you needed, whether she forgave you or not.

The time came a few hours later at the after party. You had, at this point, escaped all of the photographers, but apparently someone had caught you on the livestream and your phone was blowing up as your manager texted you, asking if you were okay. You were sat at a table with Keira and her family, the woman's head laying on your shoulder softly.

"Cat's out the bag", you smiled slightly as you placed the device back onto the table, not missing how Keira lifted her head to look at you. Your best friend was slightly tipsy, and very tired at this point. The fact that the Barcelona federation had allowed them to stay at the after party had been celebrated before the actual party had even begun, while you had caught up with Lucy's brother, in one of the backrooms where Keira and the rest had gotten ready. By the point she had joined you again, with Aitana on her heels and the rest of the Barcelona women following shortly after, she had caught you in another bone crushing hug, whining about how happy she was you were there.

"Are you okay with it?", she asked softly, analyzing your facial expression as best as she could in her state. You took a sip of your water. It was actual water.

"Yeah. Tomorrow's gonna get even better."

Your album was scheduled to drop tomorrow. No promo, no announcements, no nothing. Just music. Just the most raw and honest music you'd ever written.

"Nervous?", Keira asked, just when Aitana came towards her again. You shook your head.

"¡Ven a bailar conmigo!", the woman shrieked, just as tipsy as Keira was, gripping her hands and pulling her up.

"Go", you smiled. "I'll be fine."

And fine, you were. You loved Keira's parents almost as much as you loved your own, and talking to them was easy, especially when all they could do was gloat about their daughter. However, there was another conversation on your mind. One that wouldn't be as easy. As if she had read your mind, a body appeared behind you, her hands laying softly on your shoulders. Alexia had always been touchy. She had argued that every Spaniard was this way, but when you'd asked whether it was just a Spanish thing and she was touchy with everyone, she had shut up about it quickly, accepting every teasing comment you made about her clinginess.

"Can I steal her for a second?", Alexia asked with her silly Spanish accent, the one that you loved so much. When you looked up at her, her green eyes shone a little.

"Of course, dear. Go on, we'll wait right here!", Keira's mother beamed at the two of you, but her quick words and accent were too much for Alexia to understand, so you nodded up at her instead, quickly lifting yourself from your seat.

Alexia's hand found yours quickly, not caring about all of the footballers, reporters and people in general who were eyeing the movement curiously, as she gently led you through the crowd and towards the hall you'd met Keira in earlier.

She pulled you into a corridor, the warmth of her hand transcending into your stomach as she nudged the second door open. There wasn't much in the room - a vanity, a clothing rack which held various suits and dresses, and an armchair.

Alexia glanced through the room quietly, and you knew she was scanning for a place for the two of you to sit on comfortably as you talked. You knew this because you wondered the same thing. The armchair was spacious, but it was made for one person only. The vanity had one seat, but one seat only.

This time, it was you who held onto her hand, gently pulling her to the floor with you. You lay on your back next to your ex-girlfriend in a similar position, glancing at the ceiling.

"Quiero mirarte." (I want to look at you)

Her voice was barely above a whisper but you heard it anyways, turning to your side to face Alexia, who once again mirrored your actions. With your head cradled on your arm, you glanced at her. Taking every feature of her in, recognizing every dimple, every freckle, the birthmark above her lips. She didn't look older, despite the year the two of you had spent apart.

"Lo siento, Alexia", you whispered.

She nodded. "You should be."

"I'm sorry for just- disappearing. I really am."

"Why didn't you just to tell me?", her voice sounded so fragile, so small, that you suck in a breath.

"Why did you not trust me? I could've-"

"Stop, Ale. Please, let me explain", you pleaded, taking another deep breath as she nodded softly.

"I should've told you, yes. But it wouldn't have done anything for either of us. I was under so much pressure with the tour and everything, and I just-", you paused for a second.

"It wouldn't have changed anything. I wouldn't have let you be there for me, I couldn't. I wasn't ready to be sober, Ale. I'm sad that it took an overdose to realize it, but the good thing is I realized it. And I'm sorry, for everything I put you through. I'm really sorry, please, forgive me."

You didn't think you would beg, but one look at Alexia was enough to completely spin her mind. You would've done everything for her to forgive you. Begging was one of the things on an endless list for her to say it was okay.

The next thing she said, however, had been completely unimaginable for you.

"Yo también lo siento." (I'm sorry too.)

What could she possibly be sorry for?

You had left her without an explanation, after years of loving her, after she had given you reason after reason to spend the rest of your life with her. Then you had almost killed yourself. Then you had completely vanished for a year. And she was apologizing?!

"No, Ale-"

"Sí. I'm sorry. I should've been there, should've realized, I should've reached out and-"

"No." This time, your words held more firmity and less shock. This time, she remained silent, her eyebrows furrowing.

"You couldn't have known, Alexia. I didn't let you be there. I didn't let you reach out. There was nothing you could've done. You did enough- every day for the past year I thought of you and how to make up for this- how to get you to forgive me."

"I have already forgiven you, amor."

You sucked in a breath at the nickname. Then-

"Come home with me."

You couldn't help the shocked laugh that escaped your lips, and you couldn't miss how it made her smile again- those dimples would be the death of you one day.

"You should ask me on a date first."

"Disparates, we didn't do that last time either", (Nonsense) she chuckled, reminding you of the first time you'd ended up in her bed, the first day you'd met her.

"I don't want to do it the way we did last time."

Alexia nodded.

"Okay. But you come home with me. Because I know that you wrote songs about this, and I want you to sing them for me", she smiled, reaching her hand out for you as she turned onto her back, softly pulling you towards her. Your head found her chest immediately as your breaths synchronized the way they always had. In all honesty, sometimes, during the past year, you'd wondered if your lungs worked at a similar pace the way they always had when you'd lay like this.

"I don't have a guitar at your place", you mumbled as Alexia began playing with your hair.

"Sí, you do. You forgot one. The one you bought me to learn", she whispered into her hand that was running through strands of your blonde.

"Did you?"

Your head shook as Alexia laughed, holding you even tighter.

"I tried, but I was- fallido", (unsuccessful) she breathed.

"La reina? Fallido? Increíble", (unbelievable) you answered, chuckling softly. You remembered the first day you'd tried Alexia to play the guitar like it was yesterday, and the awful combination of what you couldn't describe as chords that had echoed through the room and had left both of your expressions frowning.

You had bought her her own, mostly because you were scared she'd somehow break yours.

You would go back to Barcelona with Alexia tomorrow. You would go with her anywhere. You would do anything she asked you to.

"We should probably go back, Keira will be looking for me", you sighed, feeling more content than you had in a long time here, in this shabby room, laying in Alexia's arms with her hands in your hair.

"Sí."

You waited for her to get up, to push you away softly and take your hand in hers again.

"Five more minutes", she hummed. You couldn't resist Alexia. You could never resist Alexia.

notes: final paaaaart! what do you think? this was a pain to write tbh but i'm happy with the way it turned out! there'll be probably be some more blurbs about the two of them just because i rly like this "series"

also, thank you so so much for all of the support! genuinely incredible

#woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso one shot #womens football #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas #barca x reader #barca femeni #barca femeni x reader #Spotify

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worldofkuro · 3 months

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Painted Smile

Painted Smile XXX

<- Previous Chapter I Next Chapter ->

Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.

Notes: Hha... I have been waiting for this chapter since Chapter XI. This one is very hard, folks. I hope you will enjoy it, truly. Please, do tell me your thought about it. TW: Gore, Baby death, Death, Torture.

You were drying your hair after that… shower if you could call it like that. Alastor was still cleaning his skin from all the blood that went on him… and came from him. You were watching his naked body but observed his torso. The cut wasn’t there anymore… but you could still picture it. You wondered how Alastor managed to stay conscient with the pain. When you healed him and you felt the pain, you couldn’t move, you couldn’t even breathe properly…

You touched your belly, the bad feeling inside you was still lingering. The couple was dead, you needed to get rid of John but… Did you hurt your baby when you healed your husband ? No… It couldn’t be… Baron Samedi told you, you were the one to hurt if you were to heal Alastor, so your child shouldn’t be hurt… And yet, you were anxious… Your baby was a part of you, right? Damn those spirits with their riddles of a deal!

“ Darling, why don’t you go to Alice’s right now? I’ll take care of the bodies.” Alastor whispered in your ear, his arms wrapping around you. “ You used a lot of your power today…”

“ What about you..?” You said, closing your eyes when you felt his lips against your cheek.

“ Me? Darling, I’m getting more powerful with each murder… I want to try those new powers on the corpses..” He purred darkly in your ear, squeezing your waist, his nails digging into your soft skin. You hummed when you felt his finger run on your skin before laughing as Alastor started to tickle your sides.

As your body twitched against his, you managed to catch his gaze. He was looking at you so fondly, so softly but there was still this glint, this madness that would appear when you were around him.

You kissed him to make him stop. He bit your lower lips with a smirk before stepping away from you. You smiled as your husband’s shadow gave you another dress. It seemed like Alastor could stock some stuff he needed inside his shadow… But it couldn’t be louder than himself, that’s what he told you.

You peeked at your own shadow, maybe you could do that too. You blinked when your shadow waves at you with its big horrible smile. You couldn’t help but laugh. You wondered how your shadow was going to act with the baby.

The baby…

The baby, the baby…

You closed your eyes as you felt bad once more. You needed to calm down, Alastor was going to take care of the corpses, you were going to see Alice who could explain to you it was normal to feel this way when you were pregnant. She would hug you, laughing softly at you, saying you were getting worried for nothing.

“ Darling?”

You turned toward Alastor with a relaxed smile. You kissed him, cupping his face between your palms.

“ Then, I’ll wait for you at Alice.”

He nodded, staring at you until you left the room. You looked toward the area where you committed murder once again. You didn’t feel anything, you did what you had to do. Nothing more, nothing less. You walked back toward the hatch and opened it, watching as your shadow followed you happily.

You left the church, looking at the beautiful architecture once more before walking toward Alice’s house. You knew your friend was the one to give you an alibi, so maybe you needed to find another way to enter her house..? Should you enter by her windows? But her windows were way too high for you to reach..

You turned your gaze toward the ground when you felt your shadow buzzing with energy. Now that you think about it, Alastor said he was being more powerful for each murders, but Papa Legba said you would end up with half of Alastor's power.. You knew Alastor would walk into the shadows and ‘teleport’ himself where he wanted… Maybe you could try?

Your shadow smiled at you, matching your footsteps with eagerness. You smirked, well, you could always try. You walked until you could see Alice’s house. You walked into an alley and observed around to be sure you were alone. It was dark outside, when you left Alastor it was maybe around 3 am? The night was your ally even if it was during the day your powers were at their highest.

“ Now… Do you think you could… Teleport me into Alice’s chamber?” you asked your shadow. It only tilted its head, and then pointed you to the house. “ Yes, I want to go inside.” You tried to grab it as it rushed toward the garden of the Richemont s family. You cursed as you ran after it, trying to be as subtle as possible.

You hid yourself behind a bush, almost falling on the dirty ground. You looked for your shadow and frowned when you saw it waving at you, against the wall of the house. You made sure no one was around before dashing toward your shadow, you wanted to strangle it. Why was it doing this?

You gasped as your shadow reached for you and tugged you toward the wall. You felt yourself fall toward the ground but when you fell on all four, you realized you didn't fall on the dirty ground.. But on Alice’s bedroom floor.

Damn it, how were you going to explain that to her? You knew Alice had seen your eyes flashing red more than one time, but she never asked any questions. But right now, she would ask how you entered her room… Well, maybe you could come clean. She already knew you were killing people, working with spirits shouldn’t be hard to believe.. right? You giggled a little, you knew she would just stare at you and curse you because for that kind of conversation she would need a glass of wine, but because she was pregnant she couldn’t.

You raised your head and sighed in relief when you saw Alice’s form in her bed, under the blanket. You stood up quietly, if she was sleeping you could just sleep on her sofa.. But you needed to tell her she was safe and so was Alyzée. You walked toward her with a big smile, you wanted to scare her awake… You grabbed the blanket that was on her body before taking it off her.

You always thought Alice’s color was pink, she would dress in pink, her make up would always be pink. She was … in a way cute even if it contrasted with her behavior. She was snarky, intelligent, and patient… An amazing person dressed in pink. That’s why you froze when you saw all the red on her body.

You blinked one, two times. What… You clumsily asked your shadow to turn on the light and that’s when you saw it.

Alice had her body cut open, from her collarbone to her belly. She has been cut open.

You didn’t know what happened but you vomited on the floor next to the bed. You were breathing hard, trying to think clearly but you couldn’t. You needed to call an ambulance. Someone hurted Alice. Someone hurted Alice. Someone hurted someone you cared about. You needed to heal her-! Yes, you could heal her!

You wiped your mouth before going on the bed, watching with horror as Alice’s womb was missing. Did the killer kill her and her baby? You almost vomited once more but you needed to heal her. You could do it.

You put your hand on her face, whispering her name as you felt power swirling inside of you. But unlike most of the time, the power didn’t leave your form to go inside the person you wanted to heal. You frowned, the power was just swirling inside you, being useless.

“ Baron Samedi, what is happening?” you whispered, not able to shout. You felt the spirit presence behind you as you kept trying to heal Alice. Her body was so cold.. Alice hated being cold…

“ You can’t heal her.”

“ We made a deal! I have your power to heal, so be useful!” You finally shouted, tears streaming down your face as fury took place inside you.

“ We made a deal you would be able to heal Alastor and yourself. Not someone else.”

You felt like you had been smacked upon the cheek. He was right. You did ask to heal Alastor. And only Alastor. Because you thought you would be able to protect your cherished one. And now, you have useless power… You couldn’t heal your friend.. The one who accepted you at your worst, the one who bought your wedding dress, the one who helped you with your relationship with Alastor…

You felt Baron Samedi’s hand on your shoulder as your body began to shake.

“ Furthermore, she is already gone. I saw her.”

You took Alice’s hand before breaking down. You sobbed so hard you didn’t know if you could breathe. This couldn’t be reality. You must have been sleeping. You were still in the Church with Alastor and you fell asleep. It couldn't be real. Not Alice, not your best friend, not her, not her baby, not her, not her , not Alice, not her.

You cried as you looked at her tortured body. Who was the bastard who killed her, who was the son of a bitch who took her womb with her baby? Who was the one you were going to slaughter?

You tried to wipe your tears even if it was pointless, you couldn't stop. You tried to look at Alice’s face, she was so pale, but she looked so peaceful… Her lips were still with her usual pink lipstick..

“ Baron Samedi…”

“ Yes.”

“ Is Alice with you..?”

“ She is watching you, by my side.”

You cried harder when you heard his answer. Unlike usual, Baron Samedi was calm, his face seemed clearly affected by what you were experimenting with. You stroked your friend’s cheek. You couldn’t bear to see her in that state.

“ Alice… I’m so sorry. I thought… I thought I managed to save you. To save your life, to be a protector like I wish I would be… And yet, you are de–” you sobbed. Those words weren’t meant for your best friend, Alice was a lively person, she couldn’t be… She couldn’t..

You held her cold hand between yours, sobbing. Why, why did it happen…? You didn’t move even when you heard footsteps getting closer to the door. You didn’t move even when you felt your shadow trying to make you stand up. You didn’t move when the door opened.

“ Alice, I’m back– Mrs. Sanglar?” You looked as Trey Felleur entered the room. You looked, your eyes hollow. He walked toward the bed and you watched as his face saddened. He kneeled next to the bed, kissing Alice’s hand. “ She didn’t make it, huh.”

…

What?

You stared at Trey who sighed, he seemed sad but that was it. He wasn’t crying, he wasn’t screaming in pain… He was patting Alice’s hand like nothing. He wasn’t asking why his wife was in that state with you by her side. He wasn’t puking on the floor. He wasn’t asking about the baby’s wellbeing, he was.. he was…

“ The fuck.”

You watched as the man lifted his head to watch you.

“ Mr. Felleur, you have ten minutes to explain to me why you don’t seem surprised about Alice’s state.” you spoke darkly. You knew your eyes were red, you could feel your shadow buzzing with fury, snarling at the man in front of you.

“ Well, this is quite easy to explain. I waited long enough.” he said, talking to you like he was talking about the weather. You didn’t know how but you projected him on the wall in front of you, forcing him to let Alice’s hand go.

You stared as he winced, forcing on your power to push him strongly against the wall.

“ You waited long enough..?” You asked, you weren’t understanding anything but what you knew was that person would never touch Alice. Never again.

“ Oh dear, you still don’t understand? I had to save Alice from her madness.” Trey said calmly. “ I knew she could be saved, but she didn’t want to.”

“ What are you talking about, you crazy bastard!” you shouted, standing from the bed, the air around you becoming more agitated. Your hair was moving as you could feel the wind caressing your body, like an cold embrace.

“ Well, if you didn’t forget your bag that one time, we wouldn’t be in that situation.” Trey sighed, looking at you like you were the worst idiot of town. What was he talking about? When did you lose your bag? Was he just a crazy bastard that needed to be locked down? “ Don’t you remember? It might be 10 years ago..” he mused as he seemed to be recalling memories.

“ What…?”

“ You were the one to be right, the stalker that time was after Alice, not you. But Alastor seemed to care only for you, so it was easy to enter Alice’s life.”

…

You felt like you were punched in the gut. Trey Felleur… Was the stalker from your teenagehood..? It couldn’t be … It just couldn’t be… You put your hand on your mouth, trying not to vomit once more. It couldn’t be… It couldn’t…

“ Alice was so beautiful… I followed her home that day, thank god you forgot your bag, right? When I saw her I fell in love with her.”

“ Bastard… She was 15… You were almost 30 at the time…” you whispered, not being able to talk louder, you felt like if you screamed you would vomit on the floor once more.

“ Yes, that’s why I waited for her. I stayed in the shadow, I watched. Well, of course as I was watching her… I began to watch you and Alastor much more. Your first kill was amazing, you should be proud.” He smiled at you.

“ How..”You could feel your legs shaking but you didn’t want to appear weaker than you were right now.

“ Oh, you still didn’t notice. You are really slow, unlike Alastor.” He nodded before tilting his head toward the side, looking at something. “ Well, you couldn’t see it when you were younger, but now I think you can see him.”

You turned your gaze away from the man and peeked where Trey was watching and then you froze.

A big eye staring at you. The eye’s sclera was reddish , but the pupils of the eyes were yellow, almost gold like. It was the same eye you saw at the Church before being almost crushed by a rock. This eye… This eye was Trey’s?

“ Working with the fallen angel, Lucifer has its peak. But unlike you, with your spirits, I can’t speak with him. I can’t see him… I just have power.” He seemed almost down about this. What was this psycho? Has he been watching you since your younger years? “ You could be an ally for me, after all you took care of Larry when he wanted to marry Alice, right?”

You felt like you were losing conscience with all the news information you were getting.

“ But then, you let Alice fancy this girl, Alyzée.” he frowned. “ So I had to get you out of the picture. John was perfect for that, I told him that I heard that Alastor had killed his father and buried him in the forest. I didn’t expect Alastor to bury a dead deer above his father, how clever.” He laughed before losing his smile and staring at you. “ And then, you awoke power, you little pest.”

You took a step back. He was the reason John tried to dig up Alastor’s father.

“ It was becoming more difficult to keep track of you, my eye couldn’t see you clearly. It was like you were… being protected by something or someone?” he looked at you before his feet touched the ground. You were so shocked you couldn’t keep him pinned on the wall with your powers.

“ But I still needed to get rid of you. You were encouraging Alice to keep her relationship with that gal. But then… I met with Alice, and she accepted my proposal… But she didn’t stop her love affair with that woman, I saw them, under the cover, kissing each other, caressing their bodies. Ugh, how disgusting. So I just had to find people to take care of her.”

You felt like your heart would burst because of how hard it was beating.

“ But once again, you were there. You began to pass more time with Alyzée, I could see in your eyes, you were looking for threats… So I sent John where you were, he could play the hero and my accomplices would be able to run away without you seeing them.” He inspected his nails before looking at you, his smile never appearing on his face. “ If it was only you, I would be able to get rid of you… But then, there was Alastor. It seemed like you were more sensible to the energy around you, but Alastor was more powerful. Your duo was becoming more dangerous for me.” He took one step toward you.

You gasped, taking a step back toward the bed.

“ So, I explained to my little minions how your powers worked. I had time to watch you use them with all the killing you did with your husband. But what is messing with my mind is that.. I have no information.’ He spat at you. “ I know you use your shadow, or telekinesis… But each time you get stronger, I don’t know who you are working with. I know it's voodoo.. But when I tried to talk with one of those spirits… I just got attacked.”

Did he try to summon Papa Legba or Kalfu..? And did those spirits reject him?

“ But well, your fight in that Church was.. impressive.” He clapped slowly.

“ What have you done to Alice…?” you whispered.

“ Oh! I asked her to stop seeing Alyzée, I said she was a strange girl. But then Alice took my hand and said she was in love with that woman. She was in love with her. She was in love.. With someone that wasn’t me.” He stared at his own hands, his voice shaking. “ So I ask her to wait for me in bed. I strangled her, and then I cut open her body to take the baby. She was still alive, begging for her baby’s life..”

You couldn’t speak, Alice was alive when that bastard cut her open to take her baby…

“ Where is the baby..?”

“ I burned it.”

You screamed before running toward the man and jumped on him, punching him in the face with so much strength you could hear bones breaking. You couldn’t stop screaming even when Trey pushed you from him. He stood up and took a gun from his pocket aiming at you.

“ I’ll destroy you! I’ll kill you !” You were screaming, wind raging around you. You could see Trey frowning as multiple objects were levitating from the floor and the wind making his clothes and hair move.

“ Mhn.. I don’t think so.” he smiled at you before holding his hand toward you. Your eyes widened as fire began to appear in the palm of his hand.

I’m here, I’m with you little lady.

You nodded as Legba’s voice echoed in your mind. You threw the object levitating toward Trey, sending your shadow on the man. You wanted to torture him, you wanted to make him pay!

You gasped as you saw his fire burning every object that was thrown at him. He smirked at you before sending his fire your way. You raised your shield around you and tried to hold it. The fire was burning your protection, you needed to act fast. You ordered your shadow to bind the man’s arms to stop his attack which worked! Tray spat at your shadow as it tried to strangle him at the same time.

You didn’t know what happened but you were levitating in the air. Trey’s eyes widened as he looked up to see you in the air. You knew it was Legba that was trying to help you.. You raised your hand and you could feel the wind bend to your will. You were… controlling the air..?

I won’t be able to make it last, use it wisely.

You stared at Trey. You could just steal all the air from his lungs..? As you raised your hand toward him, you felt a huge pain in your head. You groaned, it felt like someone was forcing you out of a trance. It was so painful! Damn it, why now!

“ Well, Mrs. Sanglar, travel safely to hell.”

“ Not without me.”

You gasped when you saw a green fire clashing against Trey’s fire. You turned your head toward the voice and teared up as you saw your husband, walking toward Trey, sending fire toward the man.

You went back on the ground.

“ What is going on?” Asked Alastor, coldly. He stared at you, trying to find an answer in your eyes but as you saw his face you wouldn’t help but fall into his arms, grabbing at his arms, screaming in pain.

“ He took her from us! He is the one that made our life so difficult!” You shouted as tears fell from your eyes. You didn’t want to cry but being in Alastor’s safe arms made you vulnerable enough that you sobbed once more.

Alastor was caging you in his arms, looking at Alice’s corpse on the bed. You felt his body tense against yours. Was he.. affected by this? You knew Alice and Alastor often bickered but it was their way of showing they cared..

Trey wiped the blood from his nose, smiling at Alastor like usual.

“ Oh, Mr. Sanglar, what a pleasure to see you.”

You lifted your head as you heard police’s sirens, you could even see the sirens light from the windows. You looked at Alastor, confused. Was he the one who called for the cops? But he answered you by telepathic, saying he didn’t.

You heard footsteps running toward the door, Alastor was keeping you against him and then you saw them. Two policemen slammed the door open with their gun aiming at everybody in the room.

“ Police!”

You opened your mouth, you wanted to tell them to arrest the monster that took your friend away from you but you froze when you saw another man entering the room.

John.

“ Well, Alastor, why are you here– You..” John seemed surprised to see you there but he quickly collected himself. He walked toward Trey and then froze when he saw Alice’s body in her bed. He put his hand on his mouth, color draining from his face. “ A-Alice..?” he asked, his voice shaking, walking closer to her corpse.

When he saw her state he closed his eyes and turned his head away from the scene. He seemed really affected.

“ God… What happened here..?” He asked Trey, his voice firm.

“ I don’t know. I was away for business, but when I came back home, my wife was already in that state.”

“ Check the house!” John asked his subordinates before looking at you and Alastor. “ What are you doing here?” He asked, his voice cold. “ Killing your father wasn’t enough, you had to kill Alice too?”

“ Oh, so, my father has been killed? I didn’t know. And for Alice, pray tell, why would I have done that?” Alastor spat at John, looking at him with vicious mockery. You walked toward John and took his hands, your voice shaking. You could see his cheeks turned red.

“ John… Trey was the one who killed her…” You said, your eyes wet. His eyes softened as he looked at you. Did he believe you?

“ Sweetie… I know.” You felt relief in your body. “ I know Alastor is forcing you to do things. He did voodoo stuff on you, right? Don’t worry, I’m going to protect you.” He stroked your cheek.

You felt like there wasn’t any escape. You slapped his hand away, frowning at him, your eyes shining with fury.

“ What are you talking about?” you spat at him, walking back toward Alastor.

“ You won’t go to jail, you might go into a hospital but–’’

“ Don’t talk about my wife. Don’t look at her. Don’t even think about putting her into a hospital because she is too clever for you to understand.” said Alastor as his arms went back around you. “ Call competent policemen to find Alice’s murderer.”

“ I will find them.”

“ Like you find my father’s?” spat Alastor with a mocking grin. “ Get out, John.” Alastor took your hand, watching as John was taken away by his subordinates because they found the butler of the home. You looked at Trey who was staring at Alastor with a calm smile.

“ I can’t wait to hear about my wife’s death in your next broadcast, Alastor.”

“ I can’t wait to speak about your death in my next broadcast, Trey.” said Alastor, full of himself like always. You closed your eyes, you were exhausted… It couldn’t be real… right? You felt Alastor carried you in his arms before leaving the room. You looked at Alice one last time, your eyes getting wet once more.

Alastor walked down the stairs and stopped when he spotted the butler who was crying, sitting on the sofa. You left Alastor’s arms and walked toward the butler, the one who had taken care of Alice since she was a child, the one who opened to you and saw you like his own daughter…

The butler lifted his head when he saw you and before you couldn’t realize it, he was hugging you while sobbing. You cried with him, hiding your face in his shoulder.

“ Please,” he begged, “ find the one who did this and make them pay.” He sobbed against you. “ Alice wasn’t perfect… But she was… she was…”

You crushed him against you as Alastor answered for you.

“ We will find them, and get rid of them.” He said to the butler. The man nodded before stepping back and giving you a letter.

Alastor carried you in his arms and walked away from the house surrounded by police’s car. You closed your eyes, squeezing the letter in your fist. You felt like you were falling before Alastor asked you to open your eyes.

You looked around and you noticed you were home. Alastor must have used his shadow.. He put you on the sofa, carefully, never letting his eyes straight away from you.

“ I’m going to prepare a bath for you, okay, darling?” he asked.

You nodded slowly before looking at the letter. What was it..? You opened it under Alastor’s vigilant gaze. You took the paper and began to read.

My dearest friend, As you know, I’m pregnant! Alyzée and myself are looking for a name, and of course, you know I’m the best for nicknames. But to name a baby is another situation! I want my girl, because I know it’s going to be a girl, to be proud of her name. So I frist thought, I should give her my name. But Alyzée said it was maybe a little too narcissistic of me… Bizarre, right? So I thought a lot, and I wondered, as my baby godmother, as my best friend, would you accept if I named my baby after you? Your best friend, Alice Richemont Ps: I know I made you read the letter in front of me, but I wanted to see your reaction ! I hope you will cry because I will!

You cried once more, anguish enveloping you in a way that was way too painful to be real. You were squeezing the letter against your chest as Alastor hugged you against his torso. You couldn’t stop crying, even when Alastor was kissing your cheeks and eyes. He could only hold you as you were breaking down.

Alice wanted to name her baby after you. Your best friend loved you so much she wanted to name her baby after you. Even with all your dark sides, she still wanted to give your name to her baby.

But this day would never come. The baby was dead just like your best friend. On this day, you lost two people that you cherished. You would grieve today, you would let yourself fall into despair with Alastor as your anchor. And then, you promised yourself, you promised to Alice, hoping she could hear you, you would avenge her. You would kill Trey Felleur.

But for now.. You could only imagine how the newspaper would spread the news.

6 March 1927,6 months pregnant Alice RicheMont was found, killed violently, in her room.

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russellsppttemplates · 9 months

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Uh oh, I'm falling in love (Lando Norris)

Y/N and Lando both have jobs that require good sight and attention to detail and yet they're oblivious to their feelings for eachother

Note: english is not my first language. I'm in a very fluffy mood, so I got really excited when I got this request! This also makes my expectations even higher and calls me single in about seventeen different languages at once...

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions a needle (for sewing)

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"Hey guys! How's everyone?", Max said to the camera as you made sure the set up was right, the screen showing his and Lando's faces on one screen and the table on the other like it was supposed to.

"As per your many, many requests, we have brought our graphic designer at Quadrant, Y/N", Lando announced as you appeared on camera, sending a very awkward first wave to the camera, "today's stream is little different than our usual programming, but it was the only way she agreed to be in one! You guys really wanted to see her, so we had to be creative!", Max said as he moved the friendship bracelets making kit into view on the table.

"Hey, Queen Taylor said we should make the friendship bracelets, so we're just following her!", you chuckled, looking at all the coloured threads and colourful beads, sorting them out and grabbing a pen and paper so you could draw your ideas.

"Since you guys wanted to get to know Y/N, can I tell them to send in questions?", Lando questioned you, "sure, I'll answer them to the best of mu ability", you smiled.

You were picking the letters you needed for the bracelet you were making when Max spoke up, "first one: how did you start working with Quadrant? I'd love to work on the team when I finish my degree!".

"I saw the job offer, and I must admit at first I didn't really know much about the company. I looked it up, looked cool enough and I sent my CV and portfolio in. So keep your eyes peeled for any offers, I guess? We have them now on the website, which was my doing, so you can check them out there if you want to be part of the team", you offered.

"I need help, guys", Lando said as he fiddled with his bracelet, the orange and grey beads with his initials sliding on the elasticated material, I can't do the closing knot on my own", he pouted as you placed your bracelet down.

"You have to flip it like this, here. Just put it on your wrist and I'll do the rest", you ushered him, your fingertips gingerly touching his hand and wrist as you quietly laced it, "this way we don't get frilly bits out and it looks pretty, see? Pretty!", you smiled, modelling his wrist for the camera.

Pretty, that's what he often thought about you. Not only pretty, but it was one of the first physical traits that came to mind.

"We should all have matching ones!", Max said as he completed his bracelet, impressively on his own, revealing the colourful beads with Quadrant spelled in white round beads with black letters, "I'll make one for each of you", he said as he watched you show your own, pink beads and a lyric he assumed was from a Taylor Swift song.

"I'll make Y/N's, she helped me after all", Lando said as one brave fan sent a comment into the chat.

He's so giddy to make Y/N a bracelet, it's a shame it will snap because of his lack of skills

Am I delusional if I say that they'd make a great couple?

If you're delusional, then what do I call myself? I still think they're making heart eyes at eachother whenever they catch the slightest glimpse!

We're joining forces, I think it's a noble pursuit!

He's a dork, Y/N, but you should give him a chance

Have you always known you wanted to be a graphic designer?

"I thought about different careers before I settled on this one, for now at least", you explained, "engineering was in the running up, but then I figured out that I was curious about how things worked, but that didn't mean that I wanted to be the one working on it. And this was a way to express my creativity, my strategy planning as well, and at the moment it's been quite good", you smiled as Lando grabbed your wrist softly, "I need to make sure this fits", he interrupted, "and it won't snap because I've learnt how to do it, thank you very much", he blushed. So he, too, was reading the comments, choosing not to dwell in them.

"Look, this way you always have a lucky charm with you everywhere you go, even if we're not together. We're eachothers lucky charms!", Lando announced as Max mafe a fake gagging noise.

"Are you all ready?", you said as you and Tara walked inside the room, clasping your watch on your wrist and hoping to find the boys ready.

Quadrant had been invited to a gala dinner that celebrated the companies in the same line of business, inviting five people to take part in the meal. After some team members politely declining the invitation since they had things booked already, the group ended up being Lando, Max, Callum, Tara and yourself.

The dress required everyone to up their usual style, hence the long dress you were wearing. Even though it was far from your usual everyday attire, you felt beautiful in the dress you ended up with after browsing the online shops for a while. The cut was simple, the skirt widening from your waist down and complimenting your curves as the sheen from the midnight blue fabric looked soft and sweet against your skin.

Lando seemed to think the same, trying his best to not let his mouth hang open when you and Tara walked inside their room, heels clicking on the wooden floor as you hurried them, "does it really take that long to put on a suit? I had to help Tara with the laces on her back and we still got ready faster than the three of you?", you asked, shaking your wrist to check if the dainty watch wasn't going to fall and that it wasn't too tight either.

Looking up to meet Lando's eyes, you were sure you physically and audibly gulped. No one should look that good in a plain white shirt. The cuffs were still unbuttoned, but the shirt itself was tucked in his black pants. He didn't have any jewellery, so his tanned skin caught your eye as it contrasted with his clothes.

"Lando has a problem with his shirt and we are trying to solve it", Max said, a little bit too antsy given that, at the naked eye, there didn't seem to be a big issue with the piece of clothing you had been inspecting quite closely.

"There was a loose button, and I tried to fix it, but I made it worse", Lando said as he pointed to the button on his hand, the slight movement showing you the place where it was supposed to he holding the piece together and closed.

"Three people in this room and no one thought about grabbing the sewing kit from the amenities?", Tara suggested, looking for it in the box that was the same as it was in your room, "see? Simple as that! Can you sew it, Y/N? My hand isn't fully healed yet, I can't quite grasp something that small yet".

Tara had injured herself earlier on in the week, prompting her to ask to tag out of the gala until you pleaded her to go so you wouldn't be alone, so she couldn't do it. None of the other guys seemed to even know how to pull the thread through the needle, so you grabbed the kit from Tara's hand, "sure, I'll do it", you said, "if that's okay with you, that is", you looked over at Lando.

"Sure, anything to solve this. Do I keep it on or should I take it off?", he questioned, wanting to slap himself straight after at his offer. Why would he volunteer to be shirtless in front of you? It certainly wasn't the way to go, shoving himself like that.

"On should be fine", you muttered, missing the snickers going on behind you as you wet the thread with your tongue, careful to not transfer any of the lipstick on it and ruining the piece without point of return for good, easily looping it through and adjusting the size of the ends.

"Button", you put your hand out so Lando could place it in your fingers, "I will do my best not to poke you, let me know if I do so accidentally", you mumbled at the closeness to him you found yourself in. It was the third button from the top, and as much as you loved the sight of the shirt slightly undone, the dinner required his shirt to be done up. Looping the thread on the button a few times, you moved to pierce the crisp white fabric so it would be secure, your hands dangerously close to his skin as you could hear his laboured breath. Lando still remembered and thought constantly about your fingers touching his hand and wrist when you did the friendship bracelets video for the YouTube channel, and right now, it only added to his predicament.

"It's done, all good!", you exclaimed, looking up as you cut the thread and seeing Lando's eyes on you. The intensity nearly threw you off of your balance as you stood the tiniest bit crouched down on your high heels.

Scrambling to further the distance between your bodies, you smoothed out the non existent wrinkles on your dress, storing the supplies back in the kit as Lando managed to utter out a thank you, too stunned and intoxicated by your scent to say anything else.

"I sewed a button as neither of you look any more ready that you were when we got here? We're going to be late!", you hurried, sitting next to Tara and ignoring her smirk as you scrolled through your phone.

"That shoot will have to wait since Lando won't be back here soon, then", you said, moving things around in the online shared calendar, "when did you say you could again? I'm sorry", you asked, rubbing your forehead and squeezing your eyes, adjusting your glasses and looking at him through the screen.

"The first weekend of the next month", Lando assured, "are you okay, Y/N?", he asked. The bags under your eyes didn't fool anyone and you looked tired. And sick, he guessed by the layers of clothing you had on.

"I had a pretty shit day, actually", you admitted, "I had to go with the guys from storage because there was an issue. The supplier sent the samples and we wanted to get things moving so I could have some ideas for the description and the social media team also wanted to prep the draft for the whole story telling, but it all went under. I also think I caught some bug, so it's been a fun day", you exaggeratingly smiled, mocking your own misery.

"You look like you need a hug, Y/N. Do you need a hug?", Lando asked as you nodded, "Actually, that would be pretty good, but I live alone. The neighbours would think I'm pretty weird if I went around like this asking for one, too", you reasoned.

Even though he wasn't next to you, Lando still managed to pull a smile out of you as he got up from the chair he was sitting in, hugging his laptop, "did you feel that hug?", he loudly wondered, "it's full of Get well soon fairy dust!", he smiled charmingly.

"Fairy dust, mate?", Callum wondered, reminding you of his presence in the videocall, "you try and spend more than a few hours with a little girl and you let me know. Mila has taught me all about fairy dust and princess magic", Lando added.

"How will we get out of here?", you wondered, starting to regret joining Lando, Max and Pietra when they said they were going to watch a football game. You loved the sport and you figured it would be a nice distraction after a work loaded week, but now, things were looking less than a distraction.

"We will let them space out once the game finishes, free up the roads as well because getting out of here will be a pain, too", Lando suggested.

The game granted your team a win and three points in the championship, the crowd going wild as they clapped, whistled and waved their scarfs, slowly leaving the stadium.

"Should we make a run for it now?", Pietra said, holding her boyfriend's hand as she allowed him to pull her away.

You followed Lando, thanking his choice of a colourful hoodie to wear today as it made it easier for you to spot him, "go in front of me, I'll back you up", he switched positions. You weren't having too much trouble until you were met with a ramp, people carelessly shoving others as they tried to leave as quick as they could, all with the same intent of avoiding traffic and crowded roads.

"Here, Y/N", you heard Lando as he grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers in his and pulling you along, excusing you two as you approached Max and Pietra again, "we're here", you tapped the blonde woman's shoulder with your free hand.

"Goodness, that was and adventure", she said once you reached the stadium car park, the crowd clearing up significantly as there was maybe another ten people headed the same way as you were now, "is everyone alright? I think someone stepped on my foot quite a few times, or many people stepped on it at various different times", you reasoned, walking alongside Lando still.

"Don't we need to hand the bracelets back?", Max said as he looked at the sign, taking his bracelet off and depositing it in the box in the booth, Pietra doing the same as you seemed distracted.

"Are you okay, Y/N?", Max asked, seeing you and Lando were still holding hands and, because of that, not taking off your bracelets.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?", you scrunched your eyebrows, "we need to hand the bracelets back in, so I kind of need to have yours, too", he teased, looking at your hand still entwined with Lando's.

Removing your hand from Lando's as if it har started burning all of a sudden, you removed the bracelet, apologising quietly to the stadium employee as you thanked him, "shall we go now?".

"Dinner out?", Lando gulped, getting into the driver's seat, "Good idea, yes", Max added, sitting in the passenger's seat as you and Pietra sat in the back, your hand rubbing your other hand that had been laced with Lando's own one for a long time. Uh oh, you were falling in love.

The launch was finally over after an amazing response from the fans, leaving your heart happy and warm with a sense of mission accomplished.

"Is everything packed into the van?", you asked Tara, "yes, it's just this box. It has fragile things, so do you think you guys can take it in the car with you? It probably only fits at the front, so you'll have to squeeze in with the boys on the back", she smiled apologetically, "it's fine, we'll keep eachother warm like penguins do", you chuckled, holding the door open as she set the box safely.

Saying goodbye to her and the rest of the team, Max and Lando joined you, "You sit in the middle seat", Max pointed at you, opening the door ao you could scoot closer to Lando and he could get in.

"Could you tell me how long we have until get back?", Lando asked the driver, "with traffic at this hour, I'd say around 90 minutes", he smiled, turning on the blinker so he could leave the car park.

"Plenty of time for me to catch up on sleep, then!", you cheered, making yourself comfortable in the space you had, folding your scarf into an impromptu travel pillow, closing your eyes.

"Are you a snorer?", Max asked, making you blindly swat his thigh, "only when I'm sick, and lucky for you, I'm in presteen health, no blocked nose", you grumbled.

It didn't take you long to fall asleep. In the last week, all of the nights combined, you probably slept less than thirty hours, so your body was indeed in need of rest.

"And there it goes", Max said as your pillow undid itself, Lando lifting his shoulder in reflex so your head wouldn't drop drastically, landing on top of him, "Good thing she isn't our engineer, hm?", he chuckled, looking at how his bestfriend was looking at you like you hung the stars and the moon.

"I think I'm in love with Y/N", Lando whispered after he took your appearance in. You had forgone wearing make-up today, so he could see all your moles and scars, your pouty lips and the darkened skin under your eyes. It took everything in him to not bend down and kiss your forehead.

"Congrats on being the last one to find out, mate", Max added, shaking his head, "I genuinely thought you had some issue processing information, I'm glad to find out you don't.

"Now you just have to act on it, which is going to take you, what? Two, three more months?".

#lando norris imagine #lando norris fluff #lando norris fanfic #lando norris x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fluff

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writing-in-the-impala · 9 months

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Secret Smokes (Part 9)

Pairing: Teacher! Remus Lupin x Reader

Series Summary: When the reader bumps into the new DADA professor on the bridge in Hogwarts she begins to build a friendship with him all thanks to their shared feeling of not belonging and love for muggle cigarettes. Their friendship blooms while they both fight internal battles deciding what is wrong and what is right leading to a lot of fluff, angst, flirting and a rollercoaster of emotions.

Warnings: Swearing, smoking, drinking, teacher-student relationship, angst, jealousy, fluff, smut.

Word Count: 5776

A/N: At the end! No spoilers here, but it's a long one so get cosy.

| SERIES MASTER LIST (All chapters) |

Previous Chapter, Part 9, Next Chapter

Christmas morning began like every year except for the owl. When you made it downstairs there was an owl under the tree from Remus, you picked up the letter and thanked the owl giving it a treat before sending it home. You hadn't heard from Remus since you got home, however you couldn't be upset as you didn't attempt to write to him either. Even though you missed him a lot and you couldn't stop thinking about him life had become quite busy with work, family and your hometown friends. This was the first time you came home and didn't want to flirt with any one or meet anyone as the only person who got your heart to race was Remus. Since you first opened his present you kept re-reading what he wrote, as if you were trying to decipher it. Maybe it was him calling you "dear" and ending it with "yours" that made your heart race, maybe it was simply just the only way to feel close to him. "What's that letter honey?" Your mum asked walking out the kitchen to see you standing holding Remus's most recent letter.

"It's from my friend, I think it's just to thank for the Christmas present I got him."

"Him?" Your mother asked. "I knew those were for a boy she liked!" Your dad chimed in from the sofa. "So who's he?" Your mum asked.

That's when the doubts hit you, you shouldn't get excited by Remus sending you a letter, he's the kind of man you can't tell your parents about. How would you explain to your parents that you got involved with your defence against the dark arts professor and that he's also a werewolf. "Just a friend who's helped me a lot this year. Anybody want coffee?" You asked tucking Remus's letter into your jeans pocket and changing the subject.

When you had a moment after the busy morning you went upstairs to finally open Remus's letter that had occupied your mind all morning. You slowly opened it while sipping on a cup of tea that wasn't as tasty as the ones made by Remus in his office.

"My dearest Y/N,

Merry Christmas. Would it be inappropriate to say smoking or listening to music alone isn't the same? Thank you so much for your present, I've been listening to the vinyl from you on repeat I can't wait to listen to it with you. I hope work is good and your family is well too. Hogwarts is beautiful in the snow I'm glad I stayed but I'll be heading home to York soon - today - so if you would like to reach me please write to:

The Luna Cottage Yorkshire YO22 5AN

No pressure to write however if you do I just don't want you to feel like I'm ignoring your letters.

Yours, as always, Remus"

You wished the letter was longer, that he would tell you more about what he's been doing why he didn't write. You wanted to have a conversation about his day, you decided it was only right to reply to him straight away.

"Moony, Merry Christmas!

I am starting to realise my record collection is boring compared to yours. I'm glad you enjoyed the present, thank you so much for passing on your fathers book, I'm happy to return it to you as soon as I read it as it sounds quite sentimental.

I adore the cigarette tin, I would be lying if I said it hasn't already been useful. The camel and bridge are beautiful however I miss the real bridge.

I'm glad to hear you're enjoying Christmas, don't run to your cottage too quickly enjoy your time in Hogwarts although I do realise how stupid it is to write that as I'm sending it to your cottage.

My family is well and so am I thank you for asking, I do miss the snow in Hogwarts I look forward to coming back after new years.

Speak soon, Y/n"

You sent the letter almost as soon as you wrote it eager to continue this conversation with Remus. You could wait to read his next letter. However it did not arrive for days. Maybe he stayed in Hogwarts you thought, maybe he hasn't had time to send you one, maybe he's too busy...

You waited each day for a letter to arrive but nothing came, New Year's Eve was around the corner and you thought wether to wish him happy new year like you wished him Merry Christmas however you decided against it. The Weasleys had invited you to a New Year's party and you considered not going however you decided maybe it would be good to spent an evening with your school friends as opposed to the home town friends that you saw all Christmas break. The party wasn't at their house but rather a house in London however they assured you pre-drinks will be spent together. You met at their house where you would be spending the night after the party, it was nice to see their parents who always made you feel at home. They asked you many questions about your Christmas break and Molly even gave you a new hand knitted scarf as a gift. You hadn't arrived at their house empty handed either as you had a whole tray of home made cookies from your mum which the Weasley boys devoured. "So what's this party we're going to?" You asked the twins.

"It's one of the order parties but it should be fun." Fred began.

"And if we hate it, it's in central London so we can jump ship." George added.

"And we'll still see the muggle fireworks from there." Fred finished their joint sentence.

"But isn't everyone in the order like 50 now, I want a new years kiss." You complained

"I'm here." George quickly interrupted.

"I'm the hotter twin and I'm here too." Fred took over.

"See you have two options!"George said with a laugh.

"Three we all know dear Percy would kill for a kiss from you." Fred almost whispered so no one else in the family would hear.

"I don't want to kiss him, or you, or you." You said laughing and pushing them away in a friendly way.

"No you want to kiss your teacher." They both said simultaneously making your face go red.

"Shut up. I prefer people my age."

"Don't lie to us the only person our age you want to snog is Sebastian and he's mostly a rebound for your profesor."

"What did you get him for Christmas?"

"It doesn't matter besides he hasn't spoken to me since Christmas."

"But he wrote to you."

"Just to thank me."

"He still thought of you."

"We've gone off topic so who's gonna be at this party or did I waste my new years by agreeing to this?" You bought the conversation back.

"We promise there will be people you'll want to kiss there, you'll have fun."

"We're sure of it."

"Only thing...."

"'Mum is coming."

"WHAT? This is going to be so lame, a party with your parents?"

"Don't worry, we'll still have fun." He said handing you a shot to drink and all three of you necked it down. You got changed and ready to go out, suddenly you were all looking a lot more like you were going to party, the boys wolf whistled you when you joined them in the living room. By this point nearly the whole family was downstairs including Hermione who was also invited as Harry and Ron were going. When you walked into the room Percy's face seemed to go red, you felt bad as you knew his feelings for you but you just simply didn't feel the same about him. You relaxed in the living room for a bit before all of you traveled to the house the party was taking place at.

It was 12 Grimmauld Place. The home of the Blacks. Sirius Black was the only one left living there however he used the house to throw very extravagant parties, that's what Percy told you anyway. When you arrived it was quite littered with people already, and there was a mix of people older and younger, you spent time with the twins at first as you were a bit shy to start talking to so many strangers. As soon as the alcohol started to get to your head you became a lot more social with everyone around, one of your most interesting conversations was with the host Sirius Black who you clicked with immediately, you ended up in quite a discussion about the London firework display and he promised you could go up to the roof for the fireworks at midnight. You were quite enjoying yourself when you noticed Sirius hugging a man who was apologising for arriving late, he was taking his jacket off when you caught a glimpse of him. Remus J Lupin. He was wearing corduroy trousers, a nice clean fresh Oxford shirt that was a pale blue with a dark vest over it and a long black trench coat. You felt the temperature of the room go up and you needed a distraction so you jumped into a conversation with the twins. "Our teacher is here." You stated to them.

"Your teacher more like." Fred stated with a grin on his face as him and George shared a look.

"You knew." You pointed a finger at them both.

"He's in the order." George explained.

"Close friends with Black. And our parents." Fred finished.

"We didn't know for sure if he would come." They both said in response to your upset face.

"He hasn't replied to my letter." You said quietly.

"Well now you can talk in person." Fred said. You could see Remus but he wasn't looking at you, he was happy, he looked a bit tired but not more than usual, he seemed in his element hugging people hello and chatting with them. After about twenty minutes you both noticed each other he gave you a slight wave from across the room and you waved back while speaking to Hermione. The next hour and a half you spent stealing glances at each other from across the room but not talking even when you stood right next to each other, it felt like an unspoken rule. It was hurting you to watch him talk to an attractive girl from the order and laugh with her, a whole body laugh. You felt jealous, and upset that he didn't even acknowledge you past a small wave.

It was only when you were outside having a smoke with Fred that you finally spoke to Lupin. He was the one who started the conversation, you heard him say "No, no, no. I can't believe that you haven't heard of The Stooges, hold on, Y/N have you heard of the Stooges" he interrupted your conversation but you didn't mind.

"Of course, arguably they were the first punk rock band." You said with a small smile, eyeing the girl he was taking to in a judgmental way.

"Thank you!" Remus said to everyone before turning around to face you. "Hello by the way." He has a gently smile.

"Hi professor, I saw you earlier but didn't want to interrupt." You said hugging him hello, he already smelt like he's drank quite a bit as did you.

"You should've." He said gently in a hush tone, eyes quickly flicking down to your lips then back to your eyes, his breath really smelt like fire whiskey.

"You look nice." You replied.

"I was going to say the same about you." The small smile growing on his lips as his eyes scanned your body.

"Who are you so dressed up for?" You pried hoping the answer doesn't hurt you.

"Sirius." He said in a stern tone and continued once he saw the puzzled look on your face. "He said he was going to hex me if I showed up in the same clothes I wear every day. I don't know if you've met him yet but I believe he genuinely would have."

"I have and I agree, I think you're a wise man." You said with a laugh.

"How was Christmas?" He asked changing the topic.

"You know same, same. Spent most of the time working. What about yours?" You said putting your hands in your pockets awkwardly. When you spoke to him it's like the whole world blurred, like no one else was around you even through your were standing outside the house on a street in central London.

"Christ Y/N, I'm sorry I didn't write back." He simply answered.

"It's okay, I'm sure you were busy." You said hiding your disappointment.

"No, no I wasn't." He said with his own frown on his face. "After Christmas there was a full moon and I was knackered, once I regained energy I had so much to do and I didn't dedicate time to writing back, when I could've, I should've and I'm so sorry." He was leaning on the wall for support as if his guilt was weighing him down.

"How's the cottage?"

"It's cosy, I've been fixing things in it, Hogwarts has meant it stands empty with no one looking after it, so things have broken in my absence." He explained.

"I wish you had time to write while you were there, I had so many questions." You said instead of saying you missed him.

"Have you seen Sebastian Sallow over half term?"

"What?" You shot back in confusion.

"Just wandering as you two are close."

"Not that close." You felt weird about his question, his facial expression was hard to read.

"Fair enough." He replied after a moment of awkward silence.

"Why do you ask?" You pushed.

"Because I thought you two were slowly growing into a relationship, you know I just want the best for you." He didn't make eye contact with you.

"What's the best for me?" You questioned.

"It's not me." He said with an intense stare into your eyes.

"So you don't want me to be with you?" You asked swallowing hard from the anxiety.

"Correct." He answered his body inching closer to you.

"But do you want to be with me?" He looked down at his empty glass after you asked him this.

"What was work like?" He asked changing the topic.

"Answer my question." You pushed.

"Answer mine."

"I asked first."

"Y/N... let's change the subject before one of us gets hurt, let's not ruin new years." He said sounding defeated as he finished the sentence you heard the front door open and saw Sirius there with two drinks in his hand.

"Remus! There you are, I made you a drink." He said in a jolly voice. "Y/N, do you want one too?" He said while handing a drink to Remus.

"It's fine I can go get it myself." You said finishing this the perfect opportunity to leave this conversation with Remus.

"Beautiful, let me show you the main reason why being a magic is the greatest thing ever." Sirius said clicking his fingers and your glass refilled itself. Remus just laughed as if this was an old trick.

"How?" You asked in shock.

"Dear old Sirius has enchanted all the glass to be self re-filling because he's too lazy to stand up and pour himself a drink."

"I didn't know this was possible." You expressed.

"It's a dangerous trick." Remus explained.

"As if you don't love it Moony." Sirius said and you have a puzzled look to the nickname but didn't ask more questions. "Now it looks like you two were having a meaningful chat I don't mean to interrupt."

"You're not, I was just about to head inside." You said.

"Sure you were." Sirius said with a wink. "Enjoy the drink moony, let me know how it tastes later!" Sirius said with a wink at Remus and head tilting to you before he left, luckily for Remus you didn't see this. A moment of silence fell upon both of you again before Remus cleared his throat. "You know all the glasses in my office have this enchantment." He said sitting down on the front door steps.

"Liar, why do you always stand up and make cups of tea if they can refill themselves?"

"I find there's something romantic about doing things the proper way, taking a moment to brew a tea and pour it. It feels like it's the right way to do it. When I'm alone I don't bother to do all the mundane but I like to do it with you." He took last sip of the cocktail he managed to already finish and you watched it magically refill itself.

"So I'm guessing you and Sirius are close?" You asked.

"How'd you guess?"

"He called you moony."

"He's my best friend from school, there's not many of us left after the war." Remus began.

"What do you mean us?"

"My friends from school and I used to call ourselves the Marauders."

"That's so lame." You laughed and he had a nostalgic smile on his face.

"I know. But we were proud of it, we were unstoppable, a force to be reckoned with. We used to preform some pranks that created new rules in Hogwarts."

"Not that pillar of morality I thought you were Professor." You winked at him and he laughed.

"Maybe not." His eyes were glued to your lips.

"So what happened?" You asked and his eyes went down to the floor, he cleared his throat and took a sip of his drink.

"We all grew up but not all of us got to grow old. You see straight after school James and Lilly got married, it was a beautiful day. Not long after Harry was born, we felt like we were on top of the world when we were leaving Hogwarts. But the wizarding war kept getting worse, I struggled for work with my condition so I focused mainly on the order, James and Sirius helped me a lot especially with money, I wouldn't have a home without them. We spent most of our days as part of the Order of the Phoenix, and we were proud, we felt like our little group was part of something special. Then the day when Peter betrayed James and Lilly came, and well you know how the story of that day goes." He said his voice breaking a bit a small tear forming in his eye. "After that day the world rejoiced, war was over, he was gone, but he took James and Lilly with them. Peter, the snitch, sold them out. It was just Sirius and I left." You placed you hand on his knee to comfort him.

"I'm sorry-"

"It's okay. I was hurt that day and I was stupid, I distanced myself from Sirius, and from everyone. I saw the world as cruel, I really treated myself like a victim, felt sorry for myself. Sirius, he saved me. Every full moon he would come to the cottage and make sure I was okay, it was only after a year that I found out when he fell asleep and when I was back to my human form he was still around. He explained he'd come in secret every month just to check in on me. He made me realise the world wasn't so cruel after all." Remus glanced back at the house behind him.

You got a glimpse at a new part of Remus, the Remus who lost friends, the Remus who used to be a boy surrounded by everyone he loved, and you understood why now being in Hogwarts he was so much more lonely than ever before. "It's funny when I met you it felt like meeting the marauders for the first time. If only you were around when I was your age, I think I would've- doesn't matter. I'm sorry for dropping my sob story on you like that." Remus said with a heavy breath.

"Moony I love to hear about your past, Sirius sounds very special... I'm glad you have him."

"I love that boy." He said honestly. "He's my brother for life." He said looking back at the house once again. A calm quiet fell upon you both before you took your cigarette tin out of your pocket, you offered one to Remus and he took it "nice tin." He said with a wink. "Where'd you get it?" He asked while you tried to light your cigarette with your lighter, he lit his with magic obviously.

"This guy got me it, I really thought he liked me because it's so special but I realise now he's just kindhearted and cares about people. It's still one of my favourite gifts though."

"What says those are mutually exclusive?" He questioned while you struggled to light your cigarette as your lighter didn't want to work.

"Can you light it for me?" You asked him gently turning around to him.

"Sure, come here." He motioned for you to get closer to him. And you shifted towards him. "Closer." He instructed. You were confused but listened, you were now inches away from him, his cigarette was in his mouth and yours was in your hand. "Put it in your mouth." He said through the cigarette. "Now come here I'll light it for you." He said quietly. So you leaned in and he lit the cigarette with the one in his mouth, your body felt like it was burning, you could smell the alcohol, you could smell him. Chocolate, cigarettes and an undertone of firewood. He placed a hand on your face to stabilise you and you felt that your cigarette was lit. You pulled away from each other and you took a drag with a shaky breath after the moment you just shared.

You felt his hand grab your chin again and turn your face back to his, his cigarette wasn't in his mouth this time, he began to lean in. "Tell me if you want me to stop." He whispered and your heart raced as you leaned into him and your lips crashed. The kiss was full of lust and longing. He had completely dropped his cigarette as both his hands were now on your face, you dropped yours and raised your hands to touch him. You felt him swoop your whole body to the side and you were suddenly straddling him on the stairs of the house. You felt him, you felt how much he wanted you, you began to slowly grind on him to tease him. His hands began to go up and down your back as you continued to make out, your hands went through his hair, something you wanted to do for a very long time. And then you heard it, the fireworks.

Remus pulled away first, shaken back into reality, you both looked into each others eyes for a few seconds. Silence. The look of complete fear and lust in both your eyes as reality crashed back in. "Happy new year dear." He said quietly.

"Happy new year Moony." Your replied and he gently kissed you on the lips with love rather than lust this time. He slowly moved you off him and stood up, reaching out a hand towards you to help you stand up. "Let's head up to the roof, the view of the fireworks is beautiful up there." He said and you gave him a sad look.

"I'm happy to miss it." You almost whispered.

"We can't. Come on." He said reaching his hand out for you to hold and you followed him holding his hand while walking up the stairs and questioning which part he was referring to with "we can't". You headed back inside and as you passed the mirrors on the stairs Remus fixed his hair, he let go of your hand and you walked side by side upstairs entering the roof quietly. Once upstairs he squeezed your shoulder and walked away from you, he started making the rounds while telling people happy new year starting from some members of the order, moving onto the Weasleys and so on. You just stood there watching him. "Happy new year Y/N. We were looking for you." Fred said. "Are you okay?" He said looking at your confused expression.

"I just kissed our teacher." You said quietly. And Fred laughed and George groaned. "Pay up." Fred said to George and they exchanged money.

"You guys bet on this? You bought me here and you bet on it?" You asked slightly annoyed but also amused.

"Only when I left you outside with him." Fred said defensively. "How do you feel?" George asked. "Relived?" Fred added.

"Horny and confused."

"Poor Percy was looking for you, wanted you to be his new years kiss, he won't be happy to find out." George added.

"No one can know." You said sternly.

"Y/N, your secret is safe with us." George said.

"However we will make fun of you for this." Fred stated.

"Constantly." George added.

"Looks Y/N is not paying attention to us." Fred pointed out as you were starring at Remus and Sirius whispering to each other and Sirius glancing over at you.

"We've lost her, next thing you know she'll be married, she won't speak to us. No time for us." Fred joked. As you continued to watch Remus, who now glanced at you, said bye to Sirius and began to walk over in your direction.

"He's coming over what should I do?" You asked in panic.

"You were the one snogging him, not us." They both said.

"Shut up." You replied and Remus was now close enough to hear. The boys turned around and smiled at him with big grins. "Happy new year professor." The both said.

"Happy new year." He replied gently. "Happy new year Y/N." He said to you pretending as if nothing happened.

"Wait so you didn't even say happy new year to each other?" Fred asked and both you and George slapped him to shut him up.

"I should've known. Sirius also knows." He said he's gesturing behind him to a smiling Sirius who waved at you as soon as you looked over at him.

"Obviously." You said with a gentle smile.

"Do you boys mind if I have a word with Y/N?" Remus asked politely.

"Just don't-" Fred began.

"Fred." You and George said in unison. "Alright nice to see you prof!" Fred said laughing and walking away.

Remus lead you off the roof and down the stairs towards one of the rooms. You didn't ask any questions. He pulled you into a room and you straight away began to make out. You explored each others lips before between kissed Remus began to speak "Let's get one thing straight, this can't happen." He then kissed you again and you tried to push out a "yes" between the kisses. "And no one can find out about this." You nodded and he leaned back in to continue. "And if anyone knew you could get expelled and I could lose my job."

"Yes professor."

"Don't. I go crazy when you call me that." He said biting your lip as he kissed you this time and moving his hands around your whole body. "Now tell me if you want me to leave this room and pretend nothing happened, tell me now and I'll leave and we'll go back to just being professional." He said looking deep into your eyes and you shook your head and leaned in to kiss him. "Good." He whispered before kissing you back, after a moment you moved your hands to his belt and began to unbuckle it. "Not so quickly my dear." He whispered in your ear. "What we're going to do is leave this room, you're going to be a good girl and mingle with your friends, while I make the rounds talking to mine. Then when it's late and everyone is saying goodbye you meet me. That way we don't raise any suspicion about both being gone all night." He explained and you nodded. "Good." He said and he kissed your lips gently before leaving the room. You stood in the dark room alone trying to process everything. After a moment you left the room and continued upstairs, on the stairs you a ran into Percy. "Y/N!" He said cheerfully. "Where have you been all evening?" He asked.

"Oh I've been floating around." You replied trying to keep it vague.

"I was searching for you." He stated.

"It's a big house." You simply replied.

"Why did you leave with professor Lupin after new years?"

"Why are you watching my every move?" You felt like your privacy was invaded.

"We're friends Y/N, I feel like this year you've been running around befriending Slytherins and doing tutoring every day we've barely seen each other." He complained.

"You're exaggerating, besides you're the one who always pushed for me to study more, now I am and you're complaining." You were getting annoyed.

"Are you and the Slytherin boy dating? Is that why you've been avoiding me?" He asked a bit too aggressively.

"Percy. Your jealousy is showing, please go home, go the bed, we'll talk tomorrow." You walked past him towards the roof, he tried to continue the conversation but you didn't turn around to reply.

Upstairs you saw Remus chatting to small group of people, he looked so handsome. You started getting involved in your own conversations however you couldn't resist to look over at Remus constantly, and he kept looking over at you. Each time he would smile, sometimes he'd lightly wink. When Molly and Arthur Weasley were leaving you and the twins said you'll come home later in the evening and they trusted you and left you behind. Finally there was very few people left behind and Remus approached you and the twins as you relaxed in the living room. "Sorry to interrupt." He began not taking his eyes off you as he scanned your body, licking his lips.

"Please do." Fred said with a grin.

"Excuse us profesor." George said pulling Fred away.

"Has anyone given you a tour of the house dear?" Remus asked you with his hands on his pockets while looking down towards you. You shook your head and he simply reached a hand out to you to help you up. He began giving you a tour from the bottom of the house towards upstairs, there were still people in the house but very few as it was nearing 4am and most people had traveled home by now. He led you all the way up before he stopped at a room. "And here is my room." He said.

"Your room?" You questioned.

"Well technically the guest room but since it's just Sirius who lives here this room has become my room, I stay here whenever I'm in London." It was mostly a simply decorated room but the small pile of books on the side table made it obvious that Remus stayed here often.

"What have you been reading?" You said picking up the top book as Remus came up behind you putting his arms around you and kissing your neck.

"Does it matter right now?" He whispered in your ear pulling you against him.

"I don't think so." You said as he turned you around to look at him.

"You drive me crazy girl." He leaned in to kiss you. "Do you want to know how crazy?" He asked and you nodded. That's when he grabbed your hand and put it against his crotch, you could feel how huge his cock was in that very moment. "Holy shit." You whispered as a genuine reaction not thinking about what's leaving your lips. Remus smiled and chuckled slightly. "Don't worry, I'll go slow." He whispered and you almost melted into his kiss. After a moment of kissing he gently pushed you against the wall where he pulled your top off and your trousers. He began kissing you from your neck down your body getting on his knees in front of you as he kissed your legs and bit your thong. "I have thought about this moment from the first time I met you. You're more beautiful than I imagined." He said before standing up and kissing you on the lips again and you ran your hands through his hair. He picked you up and lay you down on his bed as he climbed up above you leaning down and kissing you. You reached up to unbutton his shirt and he stopped your hands for a moment.

"I just want to warn you, I have scares." He said, his voice had a twang of anxiety behind it.

"I don't care." You breathed out.

"You don't understand they're bad, I can keep my shirt on."

"Remus don't be ridiculous." You said unbuttoning his shirt to reveal his chest, his scars were deep, layering on top of each other some older than others. You began to trace them with your finger as Remus watched your expression, you then leaned in to kiss his scars. He put a hand under your chin and went back to kiss you as he unbuckled his trousers slipping them off while keeping his lips on yours. He once again moved down to your underwear taking them off with his mouth as he kissed you all the way back up to your lips. "I'm going to go slow but if anything hurts tell me okay?" He confirmed and you nodded. "Dear I need you to use your words for me."

"Yes Professor." You said and it felt like his eyes darkened a little as he slowly slid into you. You could feel how large he was as began to slowly move in and out. As soon as he saw you feel comfortable he began to up the pass, kissing your neck and starting to suck and lick it as you moaned under him. "You're so beautiful." He whispered in your ear as he kissed you.

"Remus you feel amazing." You said as he picked up the pace and moaned in your ear. He held your hands above your head with one hand and kept himself up above you with the other. The kissing turned into bites with kisses as your hearts raced. "Remus I'm close." You moaned out as he was bitting your nipples and still holding your hands above your head. "I want to feel you cum for me." He said as he kissed your lips again and you moaned out in bliss. You felt him fill you right after. As soon as he pulled out he leaned in to kiss you and you kissed him back. "Happy new year." He whispered as he lay down next to you pulling you in your hug him, you skin touching his skin. "Happy new year Remus." You whispered back tracing his scars with your finger and closing your eyes as he lightly kissed the top of your head.

A/N: AHHHHHH finally! Now I can tell you this chapter was the idea that sparked everything, it was the idea of them sitting on those bloody steps and him lighting her cigarette with his own that made me want to write all this. Don't worry it's not over yet, we're only just beginning the story I hope you carry on reading a lot as there's loads more to come as they navigate this situation. Hope you like it!

NEXT CHAPTER | More stuff I wrote

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