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pray4saint · 1 year

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Hello! Currently thinking about dteam and chuckle sammich honeymoon hc's! Where you'd go, what you'd do, how was IT was mm

dteam & chuckle sammy on their honeymoons

dteam masterlist & chuckle sammy masterlist & descrip. pg. 13+. gn!reader.

a/n. omg bae, i've got you! also thoughts like these are gonna be rotting my brain for the next month / nsfw versions: dteam / chuckle sammy

dream

either hawaii or france.. idk what to tell you he's a cheeseball, sticks with the classics OR on the complete opposite, somewhere thailand (but for the sake of my sanity and writing ability we're going with kona, hawaii)

definitely picked a b&b over a hotel, he wanted the privacy for that first night as a wedded couple

leaving around 11am to go to beaches all day or go shopping

when you're out shopping, he always finds a way to not-so-subtly mention that you guys have just gotten married / he thinks he's subtle

standing in a pacsun, the cashier scanned the tags of the clothes you were buying, asking the usual customer service questions, ”how are y'all doing, did you find everything okay?” and you look up at your husband before nodding, but he still spoke up, ”doing good, we just got married, this is spouse, and yeah,” he turns to you, ”i think we found everything okay.” ”mhm.” you smile at his incessant need to announce that you're married.

tbh powerbottom!dream but in an absolutely sfw, fluffy way / how he looks at you with, essentially, heart eyes when he says something begging for your approval but also making it widely known that you're his and that you're married every chance he gets

dream most definitely has that 'nothing can bring me down' mentality while on your honeymoon

also in the evenings when the sun sets and you're sat next to him or on his lap, he thanks any and every higher power he's ever heard of that you came into his life because you're stunning and he loves you so much and can't imagine his life without you

doesn't even register if fans come up and ask for a picture until you point them out, he's just so invested in you

he also doesn't get on any of his social media except to post the occasional instagram story despite how much you told him it was fine and you didn't mind if he checked twitter or updated his snap story

”clay, aren't your fans gonna worry if you go MIA from twitter?” you set your notebook aside, turning to face him. ”no honey i'm gonna spend time with you, they can wait.” he smiles at you. ”yeah i know but-” ”no buts. they can wait.”

also he inevitably gets sick on the last day of your honeymoon, which is fine because you were getting tired of going out every day / you made him soup with the small amount of food you'd bought at the local costco and he finally took to twitter to tell them how wonderful you were being

sapnap

i think he's taking you on 2 honeymoons, the first is for two weeks in texas to spend time with his family, just so you know you can always depend on them when you need them

the other is for three weeks in greece; the people, the culture, the food, he loves it and he wants to surround you in it

probably picked a hotel over a b&b

also on all the flights, during airport security, in taxis/ubers, when waiting for flights, in the hotel, he kept repeating the same words

mrs./mr./mx. armstrong, he just loves saying it, SO MUCH

”i love you, [mrs./mr./mx.] armstrong.” your newlywed husband spins you in his arms, pulling you flush against his chest. ”i know mr. armstrong, and i love you.” you press a kiss to his lips, trying to get out of his arms to get back to unpacking your suitcase

i think for activities, lots of lunches out and dinners in

also a whole lot of museums and art galleries and ancient ruins, spending time talking about greek mythology and your own theories and opinions on it

sap also sometimes calls you bro on accident and you sometimes call him dude still and all you guys can ever say about it is 'it is what it is'

”what are you gonna get, bro?” he asks as he closes his own menu. he didn't even realise what he said, but the waiter did, and he just watched with intent, unsure of what was happening. ”i don't know dude, whatever you're having i guess.” you close your menu. the waiter speaks up, ”i'm sorry i know it's none of my business but uhm- are you two not, married?” he sounds nervous, as if he thinks he's interrupted some secret affair. ”wh- what? we're married. we've been married.” sap is the one to point it out, taking your hand in his. ”ah, it was just how you called each other 'dude', and 'bro'.” the waiter laughs nervously, walking away with the order written down. in unison, ”it is what it is.”

i also think he takes you shopping because he believes the people who gave you the best wedding gifts should also get a gift in return in addition to a thank you card

lots of hand swinging with your left hand to show off your ring, and hugging in lines, and kissing-bordering-on-making-out in public, he just has no reason not to anymore, you're married

george

george couldn't decide where you went for awhile, so he asked of your friends and his friends and ended up at first with iceland (this is george guys remember) but then changed his mind and picked italy and romania, one week in each

b&b >>> hotels with george, he prefers the privacy

he spent months before the wedding trying to learn the basics of the italian and romanian languages despite how widespread english is

definitely takes you out to eat A BUNCH, except for two nights in each country where you and him cooked dinner for yourselves

you can expect lots of late mornings and late nights with george, he just can't get enough of his new spouse

definitely emphasises your last name being davidson whenever there's a reservation or when he feels the staff is being a little too forward

”last name?” the host asked, eyes glued to the kiosk screen in front of him. ”mr. and mx. davidson.” your husband smiled at you, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

takes you to a store at the start of the trip so you have food where you're staying / bonus if you convince him to go to a farmers' market

every day of the trip you and him have set aside an hour to talk to your respective friends on the phone (he's louder)

also forgets to tell you that he booked a redeye for the first flight out of italy/romania because when he booked it he forgot he was planning for two people instead of just himself / he apologised a lot for it

”y/n i'm sorry, if i had been paying attention i would've booked it for later in the day tomorrow.” ”george, baby it's fine. i really don't mind. it's not like i'm going anywhere.” you flash him your ring with a smile to emphasise you point, to which he returns the smile before looking at his own ring.

he apologised again when the plane was about to take off

ted

i think ted takes you to japan for your honeymoon, at least for a week to try those capsule hotels that you and him been dying to try for months

i think he wants to go see all sorts of attractions in japan; theme parks, cat cafes, boardwalks, boat tours, and maybe take you to see an anime film (my brain is rotted from wanting to see an anime film in japan im sorry)

he booked a hotel because in the moment, it felt the easiest

even in japan he would get recognised, but not nearly as often as he did in the states and he would kindly turn down any fan who wanted a picture because he was busy on his honeymoon

lots of small kisses; at the end of a boardwalk, right before you sit down at restaurants, when you get back to the hotel room, when he brings you coffee, tea, or water in the morning, just outside the restaurant when you're leaving, when you two depart in a mall for a set time of 20 minutes

i think he likes seeing the trending tags on twitter surrounding your wedding

”what'ya smiling at, like an idiot baby?” you ask him, drying your hair with a towel from your recent shower, as you walk around from where your suitcase was to where he was stood in the mini kitchen. ”'the nivisons,' we're trending honey, that's all. i think it's sweet.” ”you know coming over here and giving me a kiss is even sweeter.” his phone is on the counter and he's encasing himself around you so fast.

he definitely texted his married friends for ideas when he started to run out / also before you left he logged into your pinterest on your computer and looked for anything he could use as an idea

you guys start binge-watching a new show while on your honeymoon and made inside jokes about it (yeah you became that couple)

holds your hand when you're walking around and getting into taxis and doing pretty much anything in public because he's scared he'll lose you in a crowd

he talks to you like he would a child. ”don't let go of my hand.” ”i won't ted, don't worry.” you shake your head at his antics once he turns away.

books a later in the afternoon flight out so that you can sleep in and he can pack for you and wake you up and get you out the door slowly, without a huge rush and stress

charlie

charlie takes you to 2 places, to start, you get 3 weeks in bali plus a week in new zealand (jrr tolkien/hobbit/lotr fans are gonna love this one)

in bali, he rents a whole house, 1 bedroom & 1 bathroom with a rate of $110 (usd) a night

while you're there, he takes you to sightsee places like gunung kawi temple, pura lempuyang luhur, ubud monkey forest, tukad cepung waterfall and holy spring (tirta empul)

of course wherever you go he insists on holding your hand, just to keep you close by

”baby you gotta let go of my hand i wanna take pictures.” your husband huffs a small, ”fine.” he releases your hand, but his hands find perch on your waist while you take pictures of the water, or the shops, or the wildlife, whatever.

definitely asks if he can use some of the pictures you took for his instagram story (it's the most he's ever used his insta story) and you tell him yes but only if you get to pick them / also on the same note, if either of you snap anyone during your honeymoon or just take selfies in general, they're always of you two kissing or giving each other cheek kisses in the house or at a restaurant or at a location you're visiting

he spends a lot of time just looking at your ring and how the ring on your finger looks against his fingers and vice versa with his ring against your fingers

”charlie?” he looks up from your intertwined hands in surprise. ”hm, what?” ”whatcha thinkin' about?” ”mmm, nothin', just admiring you.” he pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek, making you smile and a small tint to cover your cheeks.

in new zealand it's a hotel but it's a hobbit hole hotel, complete with tours of everything new zealand could offer about the tolkien's lord of the rings/hobbit universe

more eating out here than in bali despite how much more expensive it is

(if you're not a huge tolkien fan:) lots of thank yous from him for putting up with the trip so he could enjoy it // (if you are a huge tolkien fan:) a ton of excitement for both of you during the entire trip, and lots of talking about your own theories as you learn more about the fictional world

also vlogging the new zealand trip with charlie >>>> / and cataloging the film in the airport just before your flight for you to edit when you get home

schlatt

canada. idc, canada, that's where you're going. or iceland. somewhere cold.

i'm kidding, he told you that as a prank and then took you to australia (i apologise if you can't stand the animals there but this is schlatt we're talking about c'mon)

hotel over a b&b because even he, being the big guy that he is, was a little worried about finding a massive spider in the bed

probably quite a bit of alcohol that first night as a married couple

”y'so- god sweets y'so pretty.” schlatt twirled you around with one hand, beer bottle in the other. you giggled, the alcohol affecting your words and actions. you kept one hand tangled with his while the other held a grip on your bottle of beer. ”j..y'so handsome, you know that?” he blushed, and it must've been the alcohol because your boyfriend– husband now, never got flustered over something as small as that.

there's one night where you two go out dancing and when he sees all the prying eyes of the men and women around you, he makes sure to emphasise your ringed hands, keeping one of his hands planted firmly on your side

somehow you ended up going to see some aniaml fight with schlatt and when it got a little.. gory, you'd cover your eyes with your hands and tuck your head into his shoulder or his chest

”you alright baby?” he asked, flicking his eyes between you and the fight, arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer. ”i guess. jus'wanna leave though.” you whispered up into his ear and he nodded, waiting another minute before walking out with you tucked into his side, repeatedly asking you if you're really okay.

schlatt who takes you out to dinner every other night, with the rest of the nights being used to talk to both his and your friends and watch films together

also schlatt who believes in taking turns making lunch; whether it be sandwiches (it usually is), or pasta, a frozen pizza, etc, you take turns, after all you're married now, everything is 50/50

you probably both get sick at the end of the trip from something you ate and at first you were really worried, but he got better after a day and you two days after that

i also one hundred percent believe schlatt wanted to get home as soon as possible and picked an earlier in the morning flight / him plucking you from the bed three hours before your flight so you could shower and get ready, finish repacking, etc

pray4saint© do not copy, translate or repost my work without my express permission.

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allthelittlecreepycrawlies · 1 year

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More very old twitter stuff that I'm just now bringing to tumblr.

Specifically, two versions of repetitive time travel I Will Probably Never Write (But There Are Snippets Included This Time!).

(Variant One)

The war has barely ended when Jin Guangshan mysteriously dies in an 'accident' with a monster.

There are plenty of witnesses, but the timing is JUST suspicious enough (right as he's making a play for Xiandu) that Jin-furen demands the bastard son deal with sussing out what happened. Recognizing what a huge responsibility has just been dumped on his friend, Lan Xichen offers to help with the investigation.

Evidence is a bitch and a half to come by, and most of it seems to make no sense at all.

Not least of all because it seems to be pointing to Nie Huaisang, of all people.

They almost dismiss the possibility entirely because while they know he can be clever, the idea that he would orchestrate something like this...?

But gradually, it becomes clear that even though they don't have enough to prove it's him, it can't be anyone else. They're trying to figure out whether they should take what they have to Nie Mingjue and hope he believes them or confront Nie Huaisang directly when they happen to come across him talking to a creature that has to be magical... mostly because it's talking back.

And what it says clarifies a great deal of things, at least for Jin Guangyao.

"Reincarnation is one thing, but humans aren't meant to live the same lifetime over and over. If you don't settle, you risk shattering yourself and ruining your chances of ever reincarnating again."

The one thing Jin Guangyao had never been able to figure out was motive. Why in the world would silly Nie Huaisang go out of his way to murder a sect leader?

But if what the creature says is true, that Nie Huaisang has been repeating the timeline... well, there's only one thing in the world that could possibly drive him to that kind of madness.

He tells Lan Xichen that they should confront Nie Huaisang first, but when they do, he only has one question to ask.

"How many times did my father order your brother's death?"

===

"Hm... and why should I go back? Exile is exile, is it not? And if I'm here, no one will ever have to wonder or worry about what I do again."

"That's not true, and you know it. We’ll worry whether you're safe."

"Too late for that. Far too late for that." Nie Huaisang stretched, the motion calling attention to just how thin he'd gotten in the years since Jin Guangyao had seen him last, walking silently out of the gates of the Unclean Realms.

"I'm tired of talking to you," he said as he stood up "Go home. Tell everyone you trapped me here on purpose, and they'll consider you a hero. Everyone wins."

"Except you."

The smile Nie Huaisang gave him made his heart hurt. "I've already gotten the only thing I was after. For the first time ever, my brother has finally passed thirty years old, and he will live many years more. Whether or not I would be around to see any of that was never actually important."

Without another word, he turned and began walking away, and the shifting fog that permeated the strange in-between realm they were in closed him off from sight within a few steps.

Jin Guangyao shoved himself to his feet, a sudden sense of panic flooding his chest. "Huaisang, wait! Huaisang!"

Nothing answered him but the faint sound of wind.

—-------

(Variant 2)

Jin Guangyao with a pretty decent/happy life discovering that this is actually the second (third, fourth, fifth?) version of this lifetime, with canon having been the first and Nie Huaisang having been the one who changed it to save his brother.

He becomes obsessed with the realization that Nie Huaisang could have destroyed him, and yet chose not only to spare him, but to include him on the list of improved lives.

===

“I still don’t understand.”

Nie Huaisang swallowed the last of his soup and cradled the little wooden bowl in his lap. "Don't understand what?"

"You could have gotten rid of me. If death was off the table, you could have just as easily injured or disgraced me to make me go away. Why didn't you?"

For a long time, there was no answer as Nie Huaisang just stared into the fire. Then he sighed and slumped against the rock behind him, tipping his head back.

"I thought about it. I'd even made plans for it," he says in a hollow voice that sends a shiver down Jin Guangyao's spine. "But the more I thought, the more I realized it wouldn't do any good. He would have just sent someone else to do it. In fact, he did just send someone else to do it the two times I managed to convince you to back off or otherwise distract you."

Jin Guangyao frowns. "Who... Xue Yang?"

Nie Huaisang gives a tired, bitter laugh. "No, no, as much as he probably would have been eager to do it, he was still considered too necessary," he says, then wipes his eyes. "Poor Yu-er. As expendable as he was to your father, figuring out how to keep him alive was almost as hard as keeping Da-ge alive."

Jin Guangyao swallows hard and decides he doesn't want to know.

"Besides... I didn't always hate you, you know. At one point I would have given you almost anything you asked of me."

'Anything except my brother,' goes unspoken, but not unheard.

And, considering Nie Huaisang had gone so far as to give him this new life, comfortable and secure and free of his father's never-ending demands, he believes it.

Especially since it has all come at such a harsh cost to Nie Huaisang himself.

He reaches out and gently takes the bowl from Nie Huaisang's hands to refill it, but sets it aside instead of immediately handing it back.

"And now? Would you still do it?" he can't help but press, curiosity eating at him.

Nie Huaisang tilts his head, expression a mix of emotions. "That implies I have anything left to give you."

"You do," Jin Guangyao says, then leans in and kisses him.

#mdzs #sangyao #in one variation at least #nie huaisang #jin guangyao #implied nie mingjue and lan xichen #ideas

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taggedmemes · 1 year

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SENTENCE MEME ⟶ SORROW-SCOPES FROM TWITTER (PART ONE) always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

"Some consider your star sign the most evolved of the zodiac. Because they don't know you."

"This week brings you a lot of luck and it still won't matter."

"Some people march bravely into the future, but not you. It's clear you're only slouching toward oblivion."

"New friends are waiting to meet you. Good luck finding out where."

"Sure, your life choices will ultimately be your undoing, but you're the type of stubborn that makes fate weep so there's that."

"You've always been creative, which is why we know you'll have a good story to tell when the Senate subcommittee calls on you to testify."

"You will need to take some 'me time' this week to deal with your evil clone."

"You will finally find a plant you can keep alive long enough for it to decide you're a little needy and leave you."

"You've always been able to make friends easily, so the demons knocking on your door shouldn't be a surprise. Let them in, don't be rude."

"You will become fluent in the language of the trees, and you will learn that they hate you too."

"The best things in life are free, and you still can't afford them."

"Will you just pick a fucking lane already."

"You have no idea when you'll meet the person of your dreams. It could be today, might be tomorrow, probably never."

"The entire world will seek your opinion after your house is named the 51st state."

"It turns out you are the Messiah. We're fucked."

"Your body is a temple, an ancient temple to be precise. It's crumbling edifice is a metaphor for the spiritual decay of a long-forgotten society."

"The moon has been talking about you again. You know what to do."

"You will have the opportunity to exact a terrible vengeance. Take it, treat yourself."

"It's never too late to open your heart. The surgeon will wait."

"Go down to the track and place your life savings on Soup Janitor in third. It's a lock."

"Go over to [name's] house tomorrow and buy all his stuff for half price."

"Things are going according to your plan. A terrible, awful plan that everyone hated. Thanks a lot."

"There isn't one good reason why you can't achieve your dreams. There are two: limited skills and an unpleasant personality."

"Please stop touching the Amulet of Unceasing Regret. It's not a toy."

"Your home will be filled with the sound of laughter. Maniacal, unceasing laughter."

"That mysterious dry cleaning van parked outside your house really is a dry cleaning van. You're not that interesting."

"You'll finally master the perfect risotto, but you'll have to ask yourself: was it worth kidnapping Gordon Ramsay?"

"What's your fucking problem?"

"In an infinite universe, there are an infinite number of you out there and all of you are infinitely disappointing."

"Your dentist has always admired your two front teeth. They must have them. Lock your doors."

"The ghosts of your past will continue to haunt you this week as you struggle to get the spaghetti sauce stains out of your favorite tupperware."

"Things are looking up. You stop. Things fix their eyes on you. Things begin climbing steadily toward your position."

"Your metaverse avatar is writing checks your ass can't cash."

"You'll wake up tied to a wood stake; strangers in goat masks are dancing around a bonfire. We'll be honest, things don't look good."

"Stop being weird about everything, jeez."

"If you had one chance to do it all over again, you'd make the same fucked up choices."

#rp meme #memes #starter sentences #rp sentences #sentence starters #sentence meme

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otrtbs · 2 years

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Nat is back with thoughts™️ on the Van Gogh soup incident and now the Monet 'Mashed Potato' incident.

I know some of you have already asked me what I thought about the protesters throwing soup on the Van Gogh painting, but I am back with more coherent thoughts in light of the new but similar Monet incident.

I was reading a post by Pulitzer Prize winning NYT Art Critic, Jerry Saltz (which I will quote from frequently in this rant of mine) and wanted to further comment because I'm just so frustrated and need a place to vent.

First to talk about setting a bad precedent, this is exactly what I was worried about back in May when climate protesters threw cake on the Mona Lisa. Then the Van Gogh incident earlier this month and now the Monet incident a few weeks later.

If the first two 'protests' proved anything, it's that these forms of activism are not successful nor remotely beneficial to the cause.

"They're gaining exposure! The point is global attention and they got it! It's successful because everyone is talking about it!"

I think it's important to focus on what exactly everyone is talking about. The art. Obviously the art world is focused solely on the art, but every media outlet is focusing heavily on the painting and possible damage and adds the protesters message as a byline, if they add anything about what the protesters hope to achieve at all. All it takes is one scroll through twitter to see that the general public sentiment is outrage towards the protesters and even, towards the cause at large.

It paints climate activists in a negative light. As destroyers of culture. As people willing to turn to iconoclastic methodologies of the past to prove a message. In this case, all media attention isn't good. Furthermore, outrage has gone so far that other climate activists on social media have accused the women who threw soup on the Van Gogh of working for big oil companies. (If this is true, I wouldn't be surprised. If it's not, their message was utterly lost by the actions of their 'protest' and there is minimal public support to be found on either side of the climate issue.) The general public knows about climate change! These forms of activism only serve to paint those working to fight climate change in a negative light.

This is because, as Saltz says, the general public is:

"...against this form of protest. I am against the destruction of the Earth. I am for all forms of beauty. Two things can be true at the same time."

Secondly, we have to consider what the rise in these forms of protest mean for museum and gallery spaces! It means more distance between you, the museum goer, and the painting. You'll have to stand farther away than before. It means more preemptive protective glass casings and screens over more works of art (Inhibiting your view of the meticulous paint details even further). It means more extensive and harsher policing of museum patrons in gallery spaces by security which is already a significant contributing factor in keeping POC and the younger generation out of art museums. Our access to art will be hindered and reduced out of fear of damage and destruction. That is the impact these protesters had/have with this particular form of activism.

Thirdly, we have to think about what happens when the art that gets damaged by these protests is art that isn't protected by glass. Or when protest measures go a step further to actually destroy and maim a piece of artwork. To quote Jerry Saltz:

"I believe that this will inevitably lead to the actual destruction of art. Iconoclasm in protest is as old as our species. Maybe 1% of 1% of 1% of 1% of all the art ever made survives. All the plays of the Greeks- except the few we have- were destroyed as Pagan."

It is possible that we are witnessing a rebirth of an iconoclastic era that future generations will discuss. The impact of these protests have the potential to be catastrophic for art and cultural history and past iconoclastic movements in history have proved that multiple times over!

Finally though, Saltz talks about something I think is really important to remember. We are all at the hands of banks and oil companies, and governments, and industries in power that destroy the Earth. He says:

"These entities tell us to compost, save the environment, don't use straws...while their own ways go unchecked as they make more profits."

These powers that be want us fighting amongst one another. They want public outrage and backlash against these protesters because as long as we continue pointing fingers at one another, no one will point fingers at them. Which is maybe why so many headlines are focused on the shock value of destroying art. We are not any different than the protesters at our core. We're all suffering under the same system that is causing harm. I think it's important to remember that while we shouldn't condone the protesters actions, it's easy to be extremely harsh on powerless people trying to lash out at a suffocating system of power.

I agree with Saltz in that both lines of thinking can be true. You can disagree and be pained by their methods, while understanding to a certain degree why these forms of 'protest' keep happening.

#thats all i guess #if you read this ily haha #also i think its so funny how jerry saltz wrote out an 8 part response to this #and kenny schachter just responded: death penalty #i SCREAMED #ARH talks #nat speaks

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bandofchimeras · 2 years

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PDA stuff & long diary life update for those who care!

started sort of arguing with a popular neurodivergency Twitter person (not really, but got defensive) over the idea of PDA being a myth or a grab bag for those of us with severe burnout, etc. I'm open to not being CORRECT on this, but personally I've found both good and bad things in the diagnosis, the label, and community self-understanding, as with any diagnosis....its all based on a pretty flawed and pathologizing system. so why attack PDA in particular?

anyhow, on a personal level, today I stayed up into my natural noctural habitat to chop vegetables and make borscht. its a long, tedious process at my rate, and took two days + leaving the vegetables out overnight to do, but now its done! and yummy healthful soup for the rest of the week. :)

I'm slowly chipping away at rebuilding life and haven't tackled doctors, dentists, pharmacist, therapist aspect yet because of feeling vaguely unsure about where I will actually end up living once this couchsurfing period is over. its such an ordeal I don't want to repeat it again....but my teeth need urgent care, and meds are gonna be essential for any kind of work. which i've also been avoiding.... February is historically the hardest month for me to get thru. every year. have delved into other things astrologically but February...well I guess natal Uranus square Venus, Sun and North Node/Pluto plus oppositon Mars....that's a rough transit. But its probably the weather. Okay on to the PDA/ADHD/sensory/wtf bullshit I wanted to write about:

today I slowed wayyyyy down and just noticed in my body where and when resistance came up. It was a huge dark spirally last few days, but today had a few breakthroughs of being honest when my anxiety tempted me to lie/hide, saying no to somebody instead of people pleasing, and calming down before calling my mom, and actually having a pleasant chat.

also addressed the Cat Peeing on Everything issue in a multitude of ways. I felt much stronger in my self-acceptance despite the realization last night that my joints have deteriorated to the point carrying grocery bags disolates them! my life is pretty boring and I'm sort of floating along with no direction, but today instead of spiralling about it, I used the role-play technique to coach myself into a new mindset of "maybe you are not ready to find your purpose yet, just focus on getting the basics down" AND I noticed when my avoidance was coming from sensory needs! and tried to address them before making the demand. it worked pretty decently (turns out when i'm cold i will Not be able to move my body until until its warm??) A huge Axis of PDA is our intense willpower and drive to conform, fit in, understand, mask, etc. among people who are not us, and not like us. I appreciate this about PDAers, this will to understand and adapt, and the determination to succeed despite all setbacks. however, I think due to our slower processing speed, with the demand avoidance interference, we often miss the "steps" involved in success. there may also be some wilful delusion - if they can do it I can do it! that comes from being hypersensitive to the opinions of an ableist collective. so this week for me, i was feeling the weight of "not and never will be enough" and comparison to others. however, deactivating my facebook and slowing down to make soup, going on a sunshine walk, supple,ents, using the happy light, and starting to practice responding at least a little more compassionately but firmly to my own meltdowns....its working. i just have to release the need to do everything, everywhere, all at once. PDAers are characterized by a strong will to not only live, but to feed, to grow, to expand, to be competent. full of ideas and desires!! Unfortunately we often do not receive the accommodations necessary to actually do so or develop missing skills bc of being good at masking, or our disability being demonized as willful, selfish and in need of "breaking" this can be very heartbreaking - but as today showed me in my roommate's gracious reaction to a talk I was very scared to have with them - when you find someone who does accommodate and understand, and are willing, able, and open to connect with them, it is also heart healing. our struggles are an opportunity to exercise deep self acceptance and love for the Self despite physical limitations and inabilities!!! or they can be in the right environment. that's my thoughts for now, now its really past time to go to bed and have wild near lucid dreams again. goodnight!!

#orchid speaks #PDA #pathological demand avoidance #autism #astrology

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thephilosopheroffeelings · 3 days

Text

Reichstag fire, coup attempt, friendship

My mum’s side has many soldiers in Turkish Armed Forces. I never met him as he died when my mum was 17 but my grandad was a soldier. My mum’s childhood is full of stories with them as a family moving around in the country. My uncle, my mum’s older brother, is a soldier as well. He was a soldier as he is retired now. He retired as a major general. If you are not male (as military service is mandatory for every male over 18 in Turkey) or have no idea about military ranks, you do not know how powerful position he had in the army.

My uncle, with my grandad from dad’s side, is someone I look up to while growing up: Funny, confident, clever, successful. A lanky guy who left his small hometown when he was 14 to attend Turkish Armed Forces high school. After spending 4 years at this boarding school while visiting his family only once a year, he graduated at 18. He was quite a successful student and entered university to study medicine while serving as a soldier in the army. In his last duty, he was running the biggest armed forces owned state hospital in Turkey. He was a major general and a professor surgeon at the same time. When I was living in Istanbul, whenever I got sick, he was there to help as I was living alone. He knows the struggle well.

Whenever I saw him with his uniform, it was like a magic. He had many different uniforms but the best one was his cloak. Only doctors who were also ranked soldiers in the army wore cloaks. When he was walking in corridors of the hospital, everyone around him was standing and giving him salute. He was giving salute back and very subtly and gently nodded them to sit or relax. I was following him like Hermione was following Dumbledore.

On 15th July 2016, while I was still living in Istanbul, I was out to celebrate one of my friends birthday. We went to this little ‘meyhane’ (Turkish local pubs) and ordered raki (ouzo) and some mezes and kebab. It was an usual summer night for us. After finishing the night by drinking soup (Turkish hangover cure), I was planning to go to my flat and sleep. I received a Twitter (back then it was Twitter, not X) notification: There were tanks on Bosphorus bridge. I was 26 and never heard or seen such a thing before. And then another notification, and then phone calls, WhatsApp messages. A military coup? Are you kidding me? Cannot be true after our bloodshed filled military coups in the past. We grew up listening to horrible stories about these military coups. Was this happening again?

I will never forget that night. I was tipsy and got sobered up immediately. There was no need for soup or a good sleep. We asked for bill immediately and had a plan of action: My flat was a bit far away, I needed to use public transportation or a cab. Both either stopped working or did not seem safe. Everyone was trying to get to their homes safely. We decided to go to the closest flat where we could reach by walking. And the walk started. Everyone was receiving floods of texts: Get some cash, make sure you have enough water & food at home. ATMs had crazy queues and shops were flooded with people. We divided tasks: I was responsible of buying water before shop owners closed their shops and before card machines stopped working. While all these happening, there were fighter jets flying very close to the ground. Very loud & fast.

We arrived home with whatever we were able to find. Turn the lights off as everyone; I think we all wanted the same thing: Being invisible. After hearing the first bombing, we decided to sit in the hall: There was no windows so it must have been safer. A night filled with jet & bomb sounds, phone calls, text messages & Twitter updates. We still did not want to believe that it was a coup attempt. Cannot be that, can be? It is 21st century ffs. We learned our lessons surely from the past, no? And then coup declaration was read by news presenter on national television.

We learnt that, we had to learn that due to our history, when there is a coup attempt, you have to stay inside. Rule number one. But on Twitter people started to organize each other to go outside and fight against the army (under the disguise of democracy). I could not believe what was going on. I called my dad as he had been through 1980 coup maybe he had an insight. He said very calmly: ‘This is not a coup. I do not know what that is as of now, maybe an attempt, very bad one for sure. Stay home.’ I listened to him.

My uncle was in the USA while all these happening. I texted him asking what was going on. He was this major general – if there was a coup, he must know surely, no? He said he had no idea and advised me to stay in. I was even more confused. He left his holiday in the middle of it and came back to Turkey with the first flight. The moment he entered the airport, he got arrested by the police. Passport officer arrested him attempting to coup against the current government. A man who dedicated his whole life to the service for his country was ripped off from all his titles in one day in his 60s.

He was now in the prison. My dad and my mum drove 12 hours to be with his wife and my cousins. Days were passing and we were seeing on television that generals were beaten, not given any food and everyone seemed to be – understandingly at the time – hating them. My dad went to the prison numerous times just to learn where he was based and give him his medicines and clean clothes. He was denied and he was warned that if he kept trying to help a ‘terrorist,’ he would end up in jail, too. I took some days off from work. We barely ate and spent our days in quiet: If this guy was part of this, why would he be back from his holiday? How on earth could this man be a terrorist?

They should have told us where he was based, they should have let us to bring him a lawyer, they should have given him his medicine. Nothing was done lawfully. Whenever you were trying to explain your point, you were a terrorist as well. During this time, his closest boarding school friends who retired before the coup attempt visited us every week. The solidarity they showed was on another level: Even though they were retired, they might still be ripped off their titles but they did not care. They all said the same thing: Not even a slightest chance he was part of this. What an amazing friendship.

My uncle and his family were living in a Turkish Armed Forces owned house and we got eviction note to empty the house in two days. No joke. We packed everything while crying quietly. In the meantime, we were hearing there were some major generals passing away in prison. No names announced yet. My mum was sitting in balcony and waiting for his brother while lighting one cigarette after another. After months of despair & fighting (rather weird combination), it was understood that he was not part of this coup attempt and was out of prison. He was again this lanky boy as when he was 14. When he arrived his ‘new’ home, his school friends were there with him. They chatted away, joked around & my mum & his wife cooked his favourite dishes for that evening. We did not talk about what happened to him while he was in prison. I still do not know to this date.

He got his all titles back. He was invited to the army back by the government but he opted to be retired due to health reasons. He is now a retired major general. Government concluded that this coup attempt was carried out by ‘FETO (Religious Terrorist Organization).’ It should be another article’s topic as it is rather complicated issue but FETO members and the government were friends for a very long time. Hence, FETO members was holding significant positions in the army and in the government. In the end, FETO had become way too powerful and the government did not like this as their interests were contradicting each other sometimes. Funny that my atheist uncle even wrote a letter about this situation and warned his commanders. Of course he was not listened to as back then things were going okay for both sides. Classic.

I saw poor low-ranked soldiers were beheaded by civilians on that night. They were asking for mercy saying that they were sent here and they had no idea what was going on. They had to accept and carry the orders given by their commanders. Hence I will never see these killings as part of democratic reaction to the coup. I will never forget how two people from the same country were fighting with each other and they had no clue what the fighting was for. When I asked my dad after how he was so sure it was not a coup, he said: ‘I know how powerful the army is. If they planned this as a whole army, it would not stay as an attempt. It would be a real coup. And you would not have time to buy yourself water or get cash, let alone have facility to organize a meeting through Twitter. Trust me.’ I guess we will never know. But one thing I know for sure: This coup attempt was our Reichstag fire as a country.

#Spotify

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s1leepyhead · 1 month

Text

I’m going to write my Goemon thoughts/ thoughts about fictional character crushes out here instead of posting to twitter. I got too many eyes there.

I first saw Goemon on tv when I was 4 years old. My mom would watch adult swim after my dad would go to work since it was on at 4 in the morning. They played Lupin the third a lot at the time. I remember being confused seeing a guy with long hair, and I asked my mom if he was a girl. She corrected me and told me sometimes guys have long hair. I thought he looked so pretty with his long dark hair. Eventually it developed into the type of men that I crush over. Every androgynous long hair man or just any man with long hair is very likely to become my obsession. Similar types of fictional men I like are L from death note, Alucard from hellsing, Sebastian from Black butler, etc.

It’s even funnier to remember that my last boyfriend also kind of fell into this category. Lanky man with long beautiful hair. These days for some reason it feels rare to find a guy that attractive to me, a lot of men in my area just get short hair. Probably doesn’t help that I’m getting close to my thirties so a lot of men are probably going bald right now. Anyway, I bring him up because surprise the relationship did not go well but that’s a story for another time! I guess where I’m going with this is it feels like when I date I’m trying to chase the high that I feel when I have a crush on a video game/anime/fictional character but my irl relationships haven’t really reached that high. I hope that changes but it feels disappointing when I fantasize about a peaceful married life with someone who’s not even real.

I also got into a bit of a panic last year when I read the well known lesbian master doc that’s circulated online because if I remember correctly sometimes people find fictional men hot but they don’t like men in real life. I wondered if that was me since I feel boy crazy when I watch or engage with any fictional media because I find one character hot. Meanwhile I feel like I’m extremely picky with dating irl, I sometimes find men disgusting and get defensive when they try to flirt with me even if they’re not that bad. I’m still not a hundred percent sure what this really means for me because I think I still on some occasions find men really hot but it’s like 10% of men. I’m more in love with a fictional cartoon samurai from a 50+ year old anime franchise than any potential love interest in life. Meanwhile I see any beautiful woman and immediately turn into a cartoon wolf.

I mainly talk about men here but I’m identify as pansexual. I guess I have more experience with dating men and it just feels really… Disappointing so far? Like I had a really long almost 5 year long relationship for half of my twenties with an alcoholic college student and a rebound right after and while that’s like 2 people I’m just scared to commit to someone who doesn’t really respect me or deeply love me. It’s easier to daydream about making soup for Goemon who will forever love me and not tell me that I have a lot of baggage or he would dump me if I looked too fat.

I guess my solutions are the following:

Become celibate for the rest of my life and worship Goemon like snapewives did in the 2000s. The pro is that I can have astral projection sex with him.

Go back on a dating app and just lower my expectations if I do date men again. Maybe I’ll find someone.

Also go back to dating apps and date a girl. I find women hot and I’m being a coward for not dating one as an adult because every time I’ve been in a relationship or talking to a guy I think “Would I be happier if I was dating a woman?”

Give up

Thanks for reading if you did get this far. I’m not sure where I was going with any of this tbh but it felt good to just post this and let my post gather dust. Maybe I can revisit this later to see if I got my shit together. In the meantime I’ll look up pictures of Goemon until I sleep……

#sleepyhead thoughts #personal #sexuality talk

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0dotexe · 2 years

Text

Musings-22.Exe

As the year comes to a close I am left to reflect all that has happened throughout, of course at an ungodly hour. It was a difficult year to trying to deconstruct a lot of nonsense that I went through && was incorrectly taught only to realize the opposite was true instead.

Slowly, gradually, I am becoming more human than I was ever was allowed to be before. I have my husband to thank for that.

What is the point of writing this?

Contemplation is the soup of the overthinker. I have had a lot of time to think about things throughout my life. I won't get into exact details about what I have been through && what I have remembered. I am simply writing this to be able to collect my scattered thoughts.

I do feel a little sad that I was only able to really come to some of my own conclusions at the age of 27. "How embarrassing," I think to myself, while slowly realizing that my life didn't give me a choice in the matter. No matter how hard I think I could change things, I was set up to fail from the start.

I see people I once knew in my tangible life, back in my sickly small hometown, have their careers flourish, whilst I sit from the sidelines && can't help but feel a tinge of jealousy. Then I look at those who are struggling just as I && wish I could do something, anything, to help, but can't.

What can I even do when the only thing I can do well feels like it has become obsolete?

The world has made art feel obsolete (moreso than years prior, since the concept of a starving artist is nothing new), && as someone who was once so passionate about the craft that I did everything in my power to spite someone who died before I could show him I could do it, I feel passionless to continue. What doesn't help is that since graduation (in mid 2020, great timing as always, me) I have found myself at a brick wall. Hundreds, possibly even thousands of job applications ghosted or denied. While it is wise to not take the rejection personally, it's hard not to when it bears no fruit to begin with. Others make the process look easy, but for me, it is the tallest wall to hurdle over, && damnit I'm short.

I kick myself with regret quite often these days.

Don't even get me started on the myriad of flashbacks I had throughout the year. All either tragic, depressing, or just downright frustrating to wrap my head around. Times where the adults in my life needed to set an example, protect me, && they refused to do so. Expecting me to figure it all out at young ages. Expecting me to make sense of things that could not be explained. Expecting me to live in agony because a system denies help without proof. && for what? Valor? The *very much dead* American dream? The possibly to say "I got through this && ended up okay"? Because I damn sure didn't.

I will have to depend on others for the rest of my life, && it's their fault.

I would never wish this life on anyone. However, if someone is going through a life of turmoil at every turn, or is deconstructing that life years after the hurt has passed, know this. As cheesy as it sounds, there are others out there that understand your pain. The world owes you nothing, but you can still make a life fulfilling for yourself with at least one good friend on your side. If you need one, I can try my best to be one for you, so long as you're willing to put in the work. I cannot waste time with those who only need a fleshy punching bag to throw their trauma to && not care for the reverse to happen in kind. I've dealt with that enough in my life && am not tolerating it anymore.

For those who have read to the end, thank you. I know it was a lot to read.

I used to make read mores like this all the time when I first used tumblr back in the early 2010s. I'll try not to do them as often, but when I feel the need to write I'll do so. Tumblr has felt a lot more safe to me than twitter ever was, && I can only hope that feeling stays.

⬖.Exe

#exe talkz #mucho texto #between the flashbacks and deconstruction of terrible ideas I've had a hard year #All I can wish for in the next one is survival #anything else that comes is a bonus

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misora-msby · 4 years

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embarrassing moments with inarizaki

inarizaki always looks so cool but you know they’re actually dorks and i am here to provide you the content to show theyre clowns. enjoy the headcanons :)

Kita Shinsuke

firstly. kita shinsuke being embarrased? making a mistake? unheard of.

he’s a perfect man and we all know it.

anyways

you two were having a nice dinner out together.

it was a pretty fancy place so you decided to dress in a different style today

but you were beginning to wonder if kita liked it or not because he seemed to keep looking past your shoulder instead of at you

he was an observant guy so you were wondering if something had happened behind you

but you couldn’t hear anything weird so you assumed not

you decided to just stay quiet about it at first but now it was beginning to become annoying!

why wasn’t he looking you in the eye to speak?

midway through your dinner, kita finally spoke up tho

“y/n, your shirt is slipping... yer bra’s showing.”

oh.

right. you were wearing your off-shoulder top.

“o-oh. shin, it’s that kind of shirt, you know?” you had to explain your outfit to ur bf with a pink face.

“oh... that so... well it’s cold these days so if yer feelin’ cold lemme know. i’ll give ya my jacket.”

GOD HES SO PERFECT KITA SHINSUKE I HOPE U MARRY HIM???????

Ojiro Aran

another man with next to no flaws.

but nature says everyone has to make some mistake.

so it was a regular school day, our aran has just come to class from morning practice and there’s still some time left until class starts.

all the girls in class are gathered around a table

he’s not sure why, it’s probably watching an idol video

but ur man wants to be a little romantic!!

plus he just showered so he smells Great uwu

he goes over and hugs you from behind, placing his chin on ur head.

“hey, bb whatcha ya doin”

all the girls gasp.

he doesn’t get whats wrong, it’s not like it’s a secret y’all are dating

pda to this level aint bad either

especially compared to his teammate miya atsumu

“ojiro aran.”

why is your voice behind him

he looks down and nearly faints when he sees he hugged the wrong girl.

to be fair she looked a lot like you from behind, just maybe 1cm shorter.

“i’m so sorry!” he keeps apologising to literally everyone and all the class is giggling bc they never seen their school’s ace so red before.

“didn’t think i’d come back from the toilet and see my bf cheatin”

“IT WAS A MISTAKE! I’M SERIOUS! Y/N U KNOW I LOVE YA!”

hes so funny i swear

the volleyball team hears of it and it gets even better

Miya Atsumu

it’s not a secret that miya atsumu, setter of the inarizaki volleyball team and invited to national youth training camp, had a gf

he was very much in love with u

the whole class knew it because he’d show it off whenever he could too

so here comes valentines day

last year he received like... 50 different gifts from girls and guys aiming to win his love.

you didnt even give him one lmAOOOOO

but this year, he had been not so subtly trying to hint that “i better not receive any chocolates this year when i’ve got a gf!”

he reaches school and plops into his seat.

there’s an anonymous box of chocolates with “please accept my love, miya-kun! <3″ on it

“the hell’s this?!”

“oh? chocolates?” - osamu who just popped his head into the class to shove into his twin’s face how much chocolate he got.

especially since the blond was off limits, the grey-haired twin had a bigger following now.

“do they not know i have a girlfriend...”

“well, ya might as well eat it. ya dont know who to return it to.”

“that’s like receivin’ their love!”

“no it ain’t. it’s just food.”

atsumu couldn’t argue with that and popped a piece in.

it was very delicious. the chocolate practically melted on his tongue and was the perfect sweetness and was filled with a delicious ganache too.

it was perfect

but he couldn’t accept this!

“it ain’t even good. too sweet and the filling’s sticky.”

“ah. really? is that what you think, tsumu?” you ask from the door where you had been watching the exchange take place.

“y/n! look at this! some weirdo gave me some choco and like... samu said to test it but i’ll toss it out, promise.”

“tsumu, i made that... i wrote it anonymously because i thought you’d know it was me and i wanted to tease you a little.”

“huh.”

osamu: “yeah actually i went over to her place to teach her how to make it.”

atsumu: “you said you went to suna’s place?!”

osamu: “i went there later but i first went to help her.”

you: “anyways if it’s not good i don’t mind if you toss it out...”

tsumu: “NO NO BABE I PROMISE IT’S GOOD”

you: “you just said-”

“BABE I SWEAR IT’S GOOD I JUST DIDN’T WANT TO ACCEPT A STRANGER’S STUFF”

“you’re always so honest though... are you sure?” you were having your fun teasing him now.

“BB PLSSSSSS”

he still cringes at the memory 4 years into ur marriage

Miya Osamu

osamu would DEFINITELY make home made dinner dates a regular thing.

this alone shows he’s the better twin - miya atsumu stan

he loves cooking and eating with you so sometimes when he’s got a day off you guys’ll set aside the afternoon to make a real nice dinner

imagine candlelit dinner with miya dorito body osamu in a suit

of course some fun stuff happens after too ;)))

and today’s your third anniversary!!

so osamu adds lots of ‘natural aphrodisiacs’ to the meal

i’m talkin

garlic bread and soup for an appetiser, a nice juicy steak with garlic and red wine sauce for the main, and chocolate coated strawberries for dessert

mm yummy

you two cleaned your plates completely (it was very delicious) and as you were washing the dishes, osamu comes up behind and wraps his arms around your waist

“yes, ‘samu?”

“i’ve already prepared us a nice bath with yer favourite scents.” he’s got his head resting on ur chin

“really? thank you~ i’ll be there in a bit”

but he doesn’t let go of you while you’re still scrubbing at the baking sheets.

“osamu, you can let go for now.”

“don’t feel like it.”

“i gotta wash the dishes since you did most of the cooking.”

“mmm, i’ll do it if ya gimme a kiss.”

you roll ur eyes bc what a cutie

u turn ur head to give him a kiss but suddenly he

he burps

that garlicy wine smell is just kinda there

“ew! ‘samu!!”

his face is real red but he’s also trying not to laugh because he’s still a dude and this is absolutely hilarious to him

“want another?” he starts teasing

“i’m not getting in the bath with you.”

“wait wait wait i’m sorry, i’ll go brush my teeth and give you a proper kiss”

Suna Rintarou

you two were taking the train home today

it was quite late due to practice going a little longer than usual, so he insisted he walked you back home today.

sunarin can be a good boyf sometimes ok

it was getting a little crowded on the train tho, since people were heading home or going out for dinner

luckily you had already grabbed seats so you were quite comfortable sitting side by side.

you and suna have the type of relationship were you dont have to talk all the time

silence is v comfy.

he’s just scrolling through twitter on his phone while you’re looking around the car, lost in ur thoughts

suddenly you notice an old lady standing a little bit away from you and you stand up

“baa-san, please take my seat.” you whisper in the crowded carriage

“oh how kind of you. thank you, dearie.” she smiles and takes your seat while you stand in front of her and suna instead.

suna doesn’t realise this exchange has happened tho

(he’s on his phone as usual)

probably starting some fights on twitter

he decides to try to be a little romantic and pretends to stretch his arm around (who he thought was) you.

“rin.”

why is your voice right in front of him?

“young man, i appreciate it but i’m married.”

suna jumps as he sees someone he did not recognise next to him.

he looks up and notices you had moved.

you’re giggling

the granny’s giggling

atsumu and osamu sitting opposite on the carriage look like they’re going to cry because they’re trying not to laugh

“i was just stretching. really.” he mumbles and crosses his arms, face red as a tomato

he’s so embarrassed.

Ginjima Hitoshi

sometimes the inarizaki vbc would go for an after practice snack at the nearby family mart

they were really hungry after an intense preparation for nationals which was in two weeks so kita insisted they all get something to fill them up on the way home

but lucky lucky ginjima hhehe

you (his classmate who he had a crush on) were working at the cash register today.

“welcome!” you greet everyone as they enter

he cant help but stiffen up a bit

why are u so cute and cheery today

the 2nd years already know what to do.

“heyy, i think last week i bought ya that ramen right? ya owe me my konbini snacks today!” - atsumu

“yeah. you lost a bet to me last week so u gotta pay up. a pack of jelly fruit sticks please.” - suna

“forgot my money today, mind payin’ for my snacks too?” - osamu

“like hell i’m paying for all of you. especially you, osamu. you eat too much all the time.”

aran’s noticed what’s going on,

“hey, if it’s just for today you can do it right? if ‘samu don’t pay ya back tomorrow i’ll nag him ‘til he does.”

“fine...” his basket is full when he goes to the counter.

he’s trying his best not to have a red face while watching u scan the items, ur hair swaying slightly as u look back and forth between the objects and the screen.

“alright. 4,890 yen please!” GOD he hated how expensive it was, that’s almost all his weekly allowance but bc it’s u and ur voice saying it it’s kinda ok

“mm, ok.” he still has his eyes on you while he takes out his wallet and puts it on the counter.

yes

his wallet, not the money

“...” “...”

“excuse me, sir. this is...”

he almost slaps his face wtf he’s so embarrassed.

“s-sorry. just a little absent minded after practice.” he starts pulling out his cash.

“it’s fine! i know how hard you guys practice!” you smile while performing the rest of the transaction and pass him his big bag of goods. “good luck for nationals, ginjima-kun!”

he almost runs out of the store and is about to fight the rest of the 2nd years for watching and (suna) recording

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plan-d-to-i · 2 years

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i cannot stand most “wwx stans”. they were all “i love wwx” when they make him a melodramatic victim, projects and self-inserts into him (and have the balls to say they do not we clearly don’t know the same wwx), generally using him as a fap tool. the whole breedable/pregnant/infantalizing/milf shit going on on tw disgust me. im sorry for ranting here, its sad wwx has turned into this in the fandom, dont even get me started with lwj.

*sigh* I miss the days when I could just sarcastically snipe at jc stans in peace without this additional bs...

99% of twitter threads are just internet strangers’ sexual fantasy completely divorced from any canon characterization w character names slapped on. And the melodramatic victim mentality thing is terrible because it infects everything else, including the playful dynamic WangXian have in and out of the sack. That WWX not only happily participates in but orchestrates himself (for himself) lol.

These days wwx stans are competing w jc stans over who is most unhinged. People who were like "it's not in the text so no you can't use it as proof just bc you made it up", are now like "it's between the lines acTuaLLY" ... It's also almost a requirement to hate other characters and drag them - including LWJ!- to “prove” your love for WWX. This ask I got earlier honestly covered it so well. Everyone ever did WWX wrong, except saintly soup shijie (bc unhinged bitches project on her 😗). Even LWJ is on thin ice now and needs to cut off his fam asap to prove his love to WWX >:-/. Lol Wish they’d just stick to their shitty maudlin fanfic and stay out of the "metas" at this point.

#mdzs #answers #Wei Wuxian #Lan WAngji

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cdroloisms · 3 years

Note

haha your snippit abt the dispenser got me thinking.

Dream gets let out of prison and he talks constantly, whatever is on his mind. And he's positive all the time. To a fault where people walk over him. And it doesn't make sense because he was tortured right???? But after an incident they find out it's because he hates the sound of silence and needs constant reminders that other people are there. Also he was punished for any negative emotions in the prison so his default is happy now,,,

hi anon !! this concept makes me SO goddamn sad ,, the idea that he Has to be happy bc anything else would mean punishment im so *punches the walls*

this ,, ficlet is honestly. pretty ooc, not really related to the ask at all, and mostly an excuse for me to cry abt c!dream and c!punz for an excessive amount of time (technically the vote on twitter was supposed to have this as c!sapnap pov, but i just wrote one for him so i went for c!punz instead. mostly bc i wanted to write him LMAO). hopefully someone enjoys it despite *gestures vaguely* all of that mess

tw: trauma, disordered eating, implied torture/abuse, blood, injuries, unhealthy coping mechanisms, emotional distress, thoughts of murder/mercy killing, mentioned animal death, dark content

In the end, it’s all rather anticlimactic, the complete opposite of Dream’s vault and the whole fiasco of adrenaline and theatrics that had made up that day. Quackity ended up having one too many drinks, bragged about the wrong thing to the wrong person - Punz doesn’t know the specifics, only knows that one thing has led to another and suddenly Sapnap was screaming at his ex-fiancé, sword pointed at his chest and tears streaming down his eyes in the middle of the Community House floor, everyone else stood around and watching. A look into Quackity’s office said everything he didn’t - the chests and chests of used and new tools, shiny and sharpened and completely rusted over with blood and everything in between. There’s been a balled up shirt in the wastebasket, completely unsalvageable from how saturated it was with blood, more red than white, and perhaps most chilling of all the calendar, marked with X after X in red pen, going back months and speaking to their utter failure to see what had been happening all but right in front of them.

With Quackity down, Sam caved not too long after, and with his input getting into the prison was no challenge at all. The only thing holding them back were bad memories and the tense, worried edge to Sam’s jaw as he led the small group of them - himself and Sapnap, actually entering the facility, Bad and Puffy waiting outside - carrying them through winding corridor after winding corridor and lava pit after lava pit, until they’d come to stand before a chasm filled with flowing lava, slowly draining before the main cell.

“I- I have to warn you,” Sam had muttered, uncharacteristically hesitant, “it looks…pretty bad,” and Punz would’ve questioned him further, but the lava had fallen far enough to reveal the topmost edge of the cell, so they let Sapnap hound the Warden for information as they directed their full attention on the cell itself and holy shit.

Nothing Sam said could’ve possibly have prepared them for the sight - it was a complete fucking bloodbath, crimson painting the walls and smeared over the floor and splattered over every visible surface like some abstract art experiment gone wrong. The stench of iron and burning flesh and viscera was awful, even over the gap marked by the still-draining lava. Punz strained his eyes; at the very back of the cell, huddled, unmoving, was a similarly bloodstained shape that must’ve been Dream. They remember the crack of Sapnap’s knuckles meeting Sam’s face and breaking his nose, remember themselves chucking a pearl and feeling along Dream’s neck desperately for a pulse - everything beyond that became a swirl of voices and panic and crying that makes their head hurt to think about, so they don’t.

Recovery is…messy. The physical side had been bad enough - pulling Dream out of the cell, barely breathing, limp in his arms and far too light, all Punz could think about was a sheep he’d found a year ago, frail and struggling to breathe, one he’d ended up killing - quick and painless - with a sword through the skull because it seemed kinder than letting it suffer. Watching Dream struggle on the bed, laid up in Bad’s mansion because none of them knew if he’d survive going any further, body resisting the potions they’d slowly forced down his throat after being so over-saturated on them, temperature spiking and heat baking into his skin like the lava from the prison had been imprinted onto his body, Punz feels the same strange mixture of pity and unease, wonders if it’d be a hell of a lot kinder if they just put him out of his fucking misery.

Still, because Dream is a stubborn bastard, against all odds, he ends up surviving - his fever breaks, the potions begin taking effect, and a few tireless, aching days later his eyes flutter open, lucid for the first time in a week. Punz isn’t even in the room when he wakes, only knows that it happens because the too-quiet room suddenly erupts in noise and activity, muffled thumps and sounds of a struggle undercutting Bad’s frantic calls for someone to help, anyone, and they run into the room to find Dream thrashing on the bed, wounds reopened and blood dripping onto the sheets, eyes wild and wide as his head whips from side to side so hard Punz is half-afraid that he’ll straight up break his neck. Somehow, worst of all, not a single scream falls from his lips, nothing but muffled whines squeezing past his mouth, clenched shut, and for a singular, awful second they wonder how long it took before he realized that screaming was useless.

Fortunately enough for them, or unfortunately, it’s not like he can tell the fucking difference anymore, the panic and strain end up with Dream passing out altogether, and they trade uneasy glances with Bad before going to clean off the worst of his wounds. If everything they’re doing feels hopeless, dressing up wounds that’ll be torn open hours later when Dream is awake enough to feel fear but not much else because he’s forgotten what it’s like to not be afraid - well, that’s for them to think and everyone else to pretend not to agree with.

Weeks pass along the same vein - Dream wakes up, panics; they try to calm him down, fails; he falls back into unconsciousness, and they move on and pretend that they’re cleaning up wounds from battle and not from someone that’s literally been tortured for months on end. People stop by, occasionally; Puffy spends more time than not inside the mansion, but hardly ever enters the door into Dream’s room, Sapnap and George drop by occasionally with potion brewing supplies that the rest of them can’t go out to get; once, he’d gone out to the front door to find a chest with an enchanted golden apple, sender nowhere in sight. He knows that the server is busy; Quackity’s admission had brought more than a few secrets to light, and from what they understand, the political fallout has been pretty damn messy. Still, he stays in the mansion, and watches.

He doesn’t exactly know why he stays. They’re not a stellar healer, not beyond what they know to dress their own wounds, and spend most of their time doing odd-and-ends tasks for Bad, who looks more tired than ever. Maybe it’s because he’s seen Dream at his worst more than the rest of them, had been there through his entire fall from grace, watched as his eyes became clouded with anger and madness and a single, desperate hope that he’d chased at the cost of his world and himself. Maybe it’s because they have no ties to the rest of the server - not to Las Nevadas, falling apart under the scrutiny of the eyes that now fall upon it, not Snowchester, caught up in the chaos, not the Badlands, half-dissolved after the fiasco of the Egg and with Sam’s actions having just come to light. Maybe it’s because above everything else, he feels guilty.

They’d thought the prison was the answer. It’d seemed too simple, back in that Vault - a perfect answer, because everyone else was perfectly happy to watch Dream die another time and some part of them had clenched painfully at the thought even thought they knew it was for the best. The prison meant that he’d be alive, if angry, and at some point when he had the time or the nerve or the guts he could go and visit, and they would talk, and Dream would be angry but with time maybe he could even understand.

They hadn’t wanted this. He can’t imagine anyone wanting this.

“Punz?” They don’t jump at the voice at their back, they don’t, but Bad still has a tiny, tight-lipped smile when they turn around anyway, eyes creased in the corners and still not as bright as they’d been before the Egg. Bad looks at him knowingly, setting a bowl of soup into his hands. “For Dream, if you can get him to eat.” He shifts a pointed gaze towards the door. “Maybe you two could talk.”

“About what?” The words come out harsher than they intend, and they take a moment to bite back the mostly self-directed anger that Bad doesn’t deserve to receive the brunt of. “I just-” he waves his hand in the air, trying to articulate the mess that is his relationship with Dream without the words to explain it. “I don’t know, man.”

“You don’t have to talk about everything,” Bad says, calm as always, eyes flicking down to the bowl of soup in his hands. “Just start with the soup.”

Punz sighs. “I’ll try.”

He enters the room in a single, fluid motion, mostly because he knows that if he were to stop at the door then he’d never actually make his way in. Dream flinches back when they enter, eyes going wide and stance going rigid, and the familiarity doesn’t make the sight any easier to bear as they wait, as always, for Dream’s eyes to clear enough for him to realize he’s in the mansion and not stuck in that same obsidian hellhole.

“I brought soup,” they say, finally, when Dream looks up. Dream’s lips twitch up in what he probably means as a smile; between the still-healing gashes on his face and the fear that flashes over his expression, still, it comes out as more of a grimace.

“Thanks.” Dream looks away. “I’ll eat it later.”

Liar, Punz thinks tiredly, moving closer to set the bowl down on the nightstand by the bed. They frown as Dream’s expression goes slack and distanced, again, eyes fixed to stare blankly at the wall once again.

“You should have some now,” he tries, careful to keep his words even. “You need the calories.”

“I’m good,” Dream says, automatic, just shy of sincere. “Thank you.”

“Dream,” they don’t quite succeed at keeping a displeased sigh from falling from their lungs, and bite back a curse at themselves when Dream pulls back with a silent flinch. It’s so goddamn hard, to talk to this version of Dream, both of them feeling around the edges of their relationship like walking on goddamn eggshells. A few months ago, he would’ve straight up called Dream out on his bullshit, get it through his thick skull that the whole ‘I’m fine and don’t need anyone’ act was stupid and completely failing to convince him. Here, they bite back another sigh, look forlornly at the bowl of the soup on the nightstand, sure to go uneaten once again, and force themselves to sound completely neutral when they speak again. “Alright. You’ll have to eat at some point, though.”

“Mmhm,” Dream hums noncommittally, once again staring at the wall. Punz stares at his hands. This is so fucking pointless.

“So,” they say after a few seconds, Bad’s words echoing in their head - they can try to make an effort to talk, sure. It’s just that Dream’s not going to cooperate. “How are you, man?”

The words come out stilted, awkward. He looks up to watch Dream’s expression, as the other man begins to gnaw on the inside of his cheek.

“I’m good,” he says, words deliberately light. “You?”

“Dream…”

“I’m fine.” Dream’s voice sharpens suddenly, breath hitching, before he shakes his head and turns his head away. “I’m fine.”

Punz looks at him incredulously. “Are you serious? Do we need to get into exactly how not-fine you are?” They wave a hand in his direction, jaw clenching when he rears back. “Do ‘fine’ people lose their minds from someone waving at them, now?”

“I-” For a second, Dream glares at him, eyes burning with a familiar, irritated fire that Punz knows all-too-well from having it directed at him a few too many times, before it suddenly dies and Dream is swinging his head back to the bedsheets, hands tightening on the cloth as he stammers. “I- What do you want?”

Punz breathes a soft sigh, regret blooming in the center of their chest. “Sorry,” he mumbles, careful to keep their gestures overly-telegraphed and away from the other man’s face. “I’m just- you’re not okay, man. No one’s expecting you to be okay after...all of that.”

“But why?”

Dream’s voice is small, nearly a sob, and Punz directs wide, alarmed eyes to where he’s hunched in over himself, knees pulled to his chest, hands staring at the sheets pulled over them. “Why?” he says, again, quieter, lip trembling slightly.

“Because you were tortured,” Punz begins, words slow as they watch Dream’s expression, trying to pull out the thoughts behind his averted eyes, “Because the cell was inhumane, and nobody deserves to be treated like that. Because you were hurt very, very badly because of what we did, and none of us are expecting you to be fine right after going through months of trauma.” He pauses. “You know that, right?”

“But I’m out,” Dream says, quiet, disbelieving, instead of answering their question. “I’m out of there. It’s over. It’s- everything’s good,” he whispers, more to himself than to them, hands curling into fists and then uncurling. “I’m- they said I would never get out. And I’m outside, and it’s not- not the cell, and I get real food, and Quackity doesn’t visit anymore,” he shakes his head, eyes squeezing shut as his breath catches in his throat. “I’m happy- I should be happy. Right?”

“Oh Dream,” the other man flinches back, breath quickening, and Punz’s hand stops short from where he’d almost let it fall onto the other’s shoulder. “You don’t have to be happy, man. Not- not after all of that. Not if you’re not ready yet.” Dream’s eyes, wide and wet, rise to look at their own, and they feel more than hear the soft, wounded noise that leaves their lips. “It’s ok to be hurt. It’s ok to be scared. No one’s blaming you, alright? No one’s gonna hurt you anymore.”

This, more than anything, seems to be the breaking point, because Dream collapses forward, hands flying up to pull at his tangled hair before Punz manages to ease them away and into his own hands, watching as he grips onto them until his knuckles go white. His breathing shudders, quiet, even his sobs muffled as to make as little noise as possible, and they murmur meaningless croons and hums as he cries into their chest.

“I wanna- I wanna be okay,” he hiccups, and Punz smooths his hair back behind their hand.

“I know,” he swallows around the lump that has risen in his own throat. “I’m sorry.”

#tw trauma #tw disordered eating #tw torture #tw abuse #tw blood #tw injuries #tw unhealthy coping mechanism #tw emotional distress #tw murder #tw animal death #tw dark content #tw unhealthy eating habits #-> my writing #my writing :D #my asks !!#-> my asks

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not-using-this1 · 3 years

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Sick day cuddles

So I came up with this idea last night but didn’t know whether to write it with Alcina or Donna, so I let let people on my twitter decide and Donna won which I wasn’t expecting but I love her :)

Luciana is going to be the name of the character I write with for Donna as she is my Oc but I will use ‘you’ for you guys as readers :)

This is my first Donna Beneviento oneshot and I’m still developing ways to write her to stay true to her as a character so bare with me!

I may even make a part 2 if any of you like this and want me to!

(Gif isn’t mine)

Donna sends Angie to wake up Luciana as she got up earlier to finish making this doll. Luciana hadn't gotten out of bed yet and she thought that was weird for her. However she doesn't want to get out of bed and so Donna checks to see if she's okay, but it turns out shes sick.

Basically Donna takes care of her girlfriend and even cuddles with her not caring that she could get sick to.

Warning/s: None

Nothing but Donna being adorable, shy even and wanting to care for her girl.

Donna Beneviento x Fem!Oc

Donna had been wondering all morning why her lover hadn't gotten out of bed yet. She usually gets up an hour after her due to the fact she has been getting up early everyday to work on this new doll project. Angie, her favourite doll from childhood by her side as she watches her finish off the hat she had been making for the doll.

"Angie, could you go check on Luciana for me? I'm rather worried she hasn't gotten up yet". Donna asked the wedding dress clad doll, worry on her face was barely visible due to her wearing the mourning veil over her.

Angie chuckled at how worried Donna was but still she stood up and jumped down from the wooden chair the doll had previously sat on. "Of course, but you worry too much. She is probably having one of those days".

Donna sighed at her very much living doll "yes but those happen rarely anymore, now please Angie." Donna asked her once more. In fact she wasn't even asking she was telling her.

The doll ran into the hall and managed to get up the stairs with ease to Donna and Luciana’s bedroom. Of course it's hers too but she has a room by herself sometimes or just stays down the stairs with other dolls aka 'friends'.

Opening the door slightly so she could squeeze passed the gap. Luciana was on her side like usual but snuggling up to Donna's pillow. Angie chuckled at the sight before tapping the young woman on the forehead a few times.

The woman let out a whine and then some more as Angie continued poking her "Wake up Luciana!" She shreaked.

"Go away Angie" You coughed as she turned to face the wall, Donna's pillow still in your grasp as you hugged it tighter. Kicking the bedsheet off yourself as it was way too warm. "Someones moody, come on you've gotta get up!" Angie had prompted to try and budge you out of bed but clearly that wasn't working whatsoever.

"Angie no, I really don't think I can get up today" that immedietely put Angie in 'go fetch Donna' mode. So without another thought Angie rushed out of the room, leaving you to curl up in a ball and complain, you were definitely sick there was no denying that.

A couple minutes of being in the bedroom, nothing but silence and sometimes coughs and sneezes. You had tried to get comfy but nothing seemed to be working. Suddenly the door opening startled you to the point you sat up straight away only to see it was just Donna, a very concerned girlfriend she was.

You smiled at her, she removed the mourning veil from over her face as of course she felt comfortable around you, you smiled again, god she was so beautiful (if only your girls beauty was the cure to your sickness) she brightend up your morning.

"L-Luci my love are you alright?" Donna asks quietly as she sits at the side of your shared bed, you nodded your head 'yes' trying not to worry her too much but you knew she wouldn't believe you for a second especially because she must of heard you whining, coughing and sneezing.

"No, you're not, lay back" Donna instructed you, of course you complied. The raven haired woman placed her hand gently upon your forehead. "Oh you're burning up. Let me go get you some medicine and something to cool you down" Donna gives you a shy smile, just as she was about to get up from the bed you grab her arm "I'm sorry" you manage to get out without coughing.

You were supposed to be going out of the village to the store to fetch a few things and groceries today and you felt the need to apologise just for being ill. This was always a habit of yours, apologising for something so silly but you couldn't help it.

Donna sighs at you "there's no need to apologise, you can't help being ill sometimes. I'll send Tom the gardener out to fetch the groceries." Donna replies, she leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead "I'll be back in a minute, okay?" She adds as she gets up and walks out the room.

Angie keeping you company "you humans are so fragile. Quit being ill so we can continue those horror movies!" Angie oh-so enthusiastically points out as she sits bored on a chair in the bedroom.

You let out a low chuckle as you layed back down and turned to face the doll "sometimes we can't help being ill Angie and who said we can't watch the horror movies while ill?"

That response made Angie jump up in joy and made you laugh slightly even though it hurt due to the stomach ache you had also gotten. "Um, I did. Wait until you get better, Luciana darling." Donna walks back in the room with some medicine and a glass of water with ice in it.

Angie huffed and left the room to go find something else to do like hang out with the other dolls for a bit while Donna sorted you out. You sat up as she handed you the tablets and also a glass of water "Here these should help and at least ease some of the pain and get your temperature back to normal".

You took the tablets and drank most of the water no problem but your stomach really wasn't agreeing with it, you groaned falling back down onto the bed "Why did I have to have the bad luck of being ill" you complained to your doll-making girlfriend. Still keeping your silly humour regardless.

"You don't have bad luck my dear, it just happens." Donna responded but thats honestly not what you wanted right now, you just wanted to cuddle her. So again before she could get up you stopped her by grabbing her blouse "W-what is it?" she asked you, the shyness still in her voice even though she had known you since childhood and has literally dated you for the passed 3 years.

Still you thought it was cute.

You coughed trying to clear your throat "could you stay? I know you're busy but I don't want to be alone right now" you asked her, pouting.

And who was she to refuse, Donna blushed slightly. She would drop everything just for you and besides you're more important to her. "Of course".

You smile at her as she gets into the bed with you, instantly pulling you in her arms, she presses a few kisses to your lips "you'll get sick too if you do that" you chuckle in her arms. "Worth it" she chuckles.

You return the kiss but on her forehead, you didn’t want her getting sick either. If it was possible to get Donna even more flustered well this was the way to do it. "Can me and Angie still watch those horror movies later tonight?" you asked quietly.

"No, just resting tonight." You pouted at her response "buuuuut-" you dragged on.

"No buts, you can watch them tomorrow if you're feeling better but right now I just want to stay like this with you. Tom has gone to get the groceries, Angie is probably-

"Lovebirdsssss" Angie cut off Donna as she waltzed into the room and climb up on the bed "Donna, Florence wanted me to ask you what you would like for dinner later?" She asks.

"What would you like, darling?" Donna asks you.

You shrug your shoulders at first, the raven haired womans arms still wrapped around you "I don't know if I can stomach anything solid so soup?" you questioned. Donna was more than happy to have that for today and even Angie was fine with that (yes she is a doll but she can eat a very small portion of food if she wanted to).

"Soup it is" Angie over-exagerated her voice as she cheered making both you and Donna laugh as she jumped off the bed to inform the cook what everyone wanted tonight.

"You don't have to stay if you want to finish working on that doll you know".

"No no shush, I'm staying now I'm more than happy." Your girlfriend mentions reassuring you that she is just fine with staying by your side the rest of the day. You wondered how you got so lucky to have such a soft but shy and beautiful childhood best friend and girlfriend in one.

#donna beneviento #donna beneviento x fem!Oc #donna beneviento x reader #shes so adorable I can't #the most precious girl ever #I just want to give donna a hug #so writing for her is the only way I can express it

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fr1d4y-wr1t1ng · 3 years

Text

Your “Love Song”

Request: nooooo, I wanted to do an intro kinda writing thing lol.

Can I request?: absolutely.

Genre: Fluffy romantic head canons of the CC’s!

Content Warnings: none, except for swearing maybe. And of course my music taste /j (thought I would put this here, any references to a “her” or “him” has a they/them in brackets just letting y'all know)

CC’s in Post: irl!Dream(wastaken), irl!Sapnap, & irl!Wilbur Soot.

Description: These are the songs that I think would fit for your relationship with these CC’s!

Dream:

Cupid's Chokehold/Breakfast In America - Gym Class Heros

Holy shit Dream loves you so so so much it's unreal.

Like he would quite literally do anything for you like quite literally ANYTHING you can imagine.

Your day was shitty and you don't wanna do the dishes? He's got you covered.

You're sore from doing something physically exhausting? Don't worry, he'll do ANYTHING to make you feel better.

You got sick? He's already making soup and nursing you back to health.

He's semi-clingy like that you know?

Sometimes you may have to tell him that he doesn't have to do EVERYTHING for you, and that sometimes you can just do things yourself.

Remind him to take breaks too holy shit!! Like seriously mate go in there and REMIND HIM!!

But that's just because he loves you so much, he just can't express it any other way dude!!

I think the line that PERFECTLY sums up how he feels for you is “if I had to choose [them] or the sun, I'd be one nocturnal son of a gun.”

Just make sure you treat him the same, trust me on this one okay????? Pls?????

“Take a look at my [s/o], [they're] the only one I got!”

“George!!”

That's the only thing you've truly heard since he started streaming. You'd been sitting on his bed, scrolling through Twitter while minding your own business. You hadn't done anything to disturb him given the fact he was streaming and well… he hadn't exactly revealed you yet.

You looked at your boyfriend, just wanting your clingy little teddy bear back, you stared at him for a second, before seeing him mute and turn to you.

You two stared at each other, a slightly awkward but… mostly comfortable silence. His eyes looked like they had literal hearts in them. He chuckled quietly, looking at you until you spoke up. “...Clay?”

You questioned you boyfriend until he muttered, “you know, you're the most attractive person I've ever seen… right?” You started to laugh as your boyfriend got up and sat next to you. He quickly pecked your cheek and went back to his stream, attempting to make up for having chat wait.

To say this happened often would be an understatement.

Sapnap:

Never Ever Getting Rid Of Me - Waitress

I know people like to use this song in a more... stalkerish tendency. But, I don't think that's the meaning, you know.

Sapnap is very much... newer to love. It may come off in the wrong way, but he's trying to show you that he's not going anywhere because he loves you.

He can be awkward, but of course he's just excited!

You're his first s/o!!! How the hell could he not be excited?

Sapnap can be very “clingy” when your relationship starts... but don't worry. He calms down quickly.

Before you even know it, the relationship becomes natural, like you've been together for several years.

You two kind of end up acting like newly-wed’s when you get settled? If you get what I mean?

It's like you've been together for god knows how long, but you're just getting super settled and shit into a whole new level of your relationship.

I feel like the line that really represents how he feels is the line, “Oh, I'm gonna love you so. You'll learn what I already know, I love you means your never ever getting rid of me!”

He really believes that you're the one! So maybe (if you can) try to give the same energy back! Tell him you love him like, a lot!!

“I will never let you let me leave, I promise I'm not lying!”

What the fuck was that? You lay awake, thinking about the nightmare that just woke you. You slowly turned toward your phone. It's 4:08 am. You really shouldn't be up this early, should you? As you try to get back to sleep, you hear a muffled groan from him.

“Babe?” Sapnap asks, barely able to keep his eyes open, “Why ‘re you up?” You turned back to face him, wrapping your arms around his midsection. “‘is nothin’. Don't worry.”

His brows furrowed in thought, trying to stare at you for a second before asking, “Ya’ sure? You can tell me anything-” you quickly peck his lips, effectively shutting him up before mumbling, “it's just a nightmare. I'll be fine, as long I have you with me.” a small chuckle came from him before replying with,

“M’kay… love you.”

Wilbur Soot:

Telephone - Waterparks

At first when he falls for you he's... really fucking nervous.

He doesn't wanna mess your relationship up AT ALL.

He thinks the you'd legitimently regret being with him, but we all know we trolley want a man like Wil.

But, there's still apart of him that really wants you to feel the same.

But once you start dating, this kind of stressing about making you regret dating him calms down a bit.

Keyword: a bit.

The intrusive thoughts about you two dating can still get to him yk, so, please just remind him that it'll be okay babes-

He's so soft when he's with you though, like, legit it's such a magical experience.

When he's not streaming or making music he's usually spending time with you!

He's just so sweet man, tbh I want a bf like Wilbur 🥴.

I think the lyric that really explains how he feels is “I can be your best yet, future favorite regret.” because he can be the softest motherfucker ever!! (or... well... hm.)

“I’m interested but distant to a fault, and I'd never want to complicate your heart!”

Boop ba boop! Boop ba boop! Your phone's ringtone filled your apartment as you dragged yourself from your bed to your desk. You sighed, looking at the number and realizing who was calling you. “Hey Wil.” you answered somewhat bluntly.

“[Y/N]! Hey!” Wilbur’s sweet voice rang through your ears like a whimsical melody. Your lips perked at his response, “Whats up?” you ask, your cheeks filling with heat as you looked at the screen. “Well I-” Wilbur cuts himself off at the noise in the background.

“...anyways, I'm coming over!” he finished. You realized he was probably walking his happy ass to your flat. You looked around at the mess, a small sigh escaping your lips as you replied, “I'll see you in five then?” a chuckle escaped his lips, “yup! See you in five!”

Note: AAAAND THATS FINISHED, FINALLY. Why the hell did this take 2 days holy shit!? So, uh, I have an idea for making a part 2 but like... with the song that kinda describes the breakup (if there is one)? So let me know if you want that! Kay, see ya, byeeeeee!!!!

#mcyt #dream smp #dream x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #sapnap #sapnap x reader #wilbur soot #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur x reader #mcyt x reader #lol I hate how long this post took #jensjdndkdmkd

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storybycau · 3 years

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CYANIDE // ch. 1

☆ summary: after recovering from mortal wounds a month ago, you were out to party with the crew on a new island tonight. everyone was excited, especially zoro. he had an unexpected gift for you... but the outcome might not be as good as he had it in mind.

☆ pairing: roronoa zoro x f!reader

☆ author's note: that's my first time writing anything ever. please be kind. 🌷 i'd like to thank @cyancherub from the bottom of my heart for beta reading this even though she was so busy. you're really an angel. 🙏🏽 this fic was getting too big so i decided to cut in chapters, maybe two or three! it might take a while to publish the second so keep in touch for updates. banner credit: jijiooe on twitter.

☆ cw: fingering, dry humping, exhibitionism.

☆ wc: 7.6k

You felt his gaze on your skin before you could even see his face.

The music was blasting through the harbor and people were shouting, dancing, and singing along in the streets. On your left, a crowd of drunk pirates was making a fuss over sea tales and old victories, competing with themselves about who was the greatest of all. On your right, a fight was escalating inside the bar. You could hear Nami screaming something at Luffy, and Luffy's laughter echoing in the room. You were outside, dancing in Sanji's arms, feeling his hands travel along your back and rest on your hips. He was chatting with you, but you weren’t paying attention. Somewhere a glass bottle crashed on the ground, and a chair was thrown, and the air was filled with the scent of salt, smoke, and burnt meat.

Everything was a mess and yet, among all this chaos, you could feel his stare on your back, following your moves. You froze. You felt butterflies on your stomach, the anticipation eating you alive. You hardened your grip on Sanji's arm, wanting to get out of there.

"Sanji, I—"

"It's my turn now", you heard Zoro's voice coming from behind you. You jumped a little, astonished. So fast— was he there all along?

"No way! Y/N and I are having a good time, get lost." Sanji pulled you closer to his chest, waving a hand in Zoro's face.

"You've been dancing the whole night already. Let her go."

"You were watching us? And they call me a pervert." Your back was still turned to him, but you could sense Zoro's anger emerging anyway.

"As if you weren’t putting your dirty hands on her body just a moment ago!" The mention of the act made your face heat up. Sanji was indeed taking advantage of the dance to touch you. You knew that, but you didn't care. It was a nice feeling to be desired after the latest events…

One month ago there was a battle with some pirates on the last island. The Navy got involved and things escalated fast. The whole crew was injured, but no one more than you. You had received a fatal blow on your stomach that left an ugly scar on the lower-left corner of your belly, just above your groin. Chopper had to treat you right there on the ground, and you had a fever for a week. The pain was so excruciating the first few days that at some point you asked God to please, please let you die. But Chopper wasn't going to give up on you so easily, taking care of your wounds day and night until your fever cooled down, knowing that the infection was gone.

After that week you felt better enough to sit, and the whole crew pampered you with all the love and affection someone could ever ask for. Sanji made sure you had the most delicious, creative, and nutritious soups to eat since you couldn't handle solid foods at the time, and baked your favorite desserts too; Luffy and Usopp brightened your days with jokes and stupid stories that made you laugh so hard it opened your wounds, forcing Chopper to yell at them to leave; Nami and Robin brought "girl's time" to you, taking care of your hair, skin, and nails, updating you on the latest events on board, future plans, and overall spending long nights talking about life. And Zoro, well… Zoro, he—

"We're dancing, you shitty swordsman, we're supposed to touch each other!" Sanji growled back, visibly flustered to have his actions be known.

"It's not that type of dance, you perverted cook."

"Guys, enough! Stop, please!" you yelled. They both looked at you at the same time; at some point in their fight, they forgot you were there. Now their attention was on you, and you couldn't help but feel flustered as well. "Sanji… it's okay, we really did dance a lot tonight. Let him have this one and I'll get back to you later, is that alright?"

"Hmm, sure Y/N, but—"

"You heard her." Zoro pulled you out of Sanji's arms, your back smashing on his chest and his toned arm circling your belly possessively. You could feel his warmth enveloping you, the butterflies on your stomach flying all over again. "Get lost."

Sanji looked at him as if looks could kill. "'Aight, see you later, Y/N" he said, plucking a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it with a match, already heading over the bar to meet Nami, Luffy, and wherever the others were.

Now you two were left alone, or as alone as it could be at a crowded street party, but neither of you dared to speak first.

You were staring at the ground; Zoro's arm still gripped your belly tightly. Slowly, you felt his fingers caressing your skin gently and his chest squeezing your back. His aroma caught your nose, a mixture of aquatic fragrance, soap, and alcohol, leaving you in a bewitched state you already knew you'd be a hostage of. You could sense his face getting closer to your neck, his warm breath touching your skin as if he was trying to kiss it, giving you goosebumps all over. Your heart was racing like crazy as you felt his lips brush slowly on your ear. You closed your eyes, trying to filter all this information... and suddenly, as if time had stopped for a moment, you weren't able to hear the music anymore, or the crowd, the drunk pirates, the crashing glass bottles, and flying chairs. There was no fight at the bar, no shouts, no laughter.

There were only the two of you in the world, and the sound of your hearts beating like a drum.

You opened up your eyes. That's enough, you thought.

Letting go of his grip, you stepped forward and faced him for the first time that night. He looked astonished at you, forced out of the trance you were both in just a second ago. His cheeks were slightly pink now, either from his actions or the booze, or both. Well, you'd never know for sure.

Finally, his eyes locked on yours. "What do you want, Zoro?"

"I told you already, I wanna dance with—"

"You can't dance!"

"Of course I can! I just don't"

"Since when? I don't remember you dancing at all those years we've been together on the ship."

You tried to recall a memory, a celebration, a special date, anything the crew did that usually made them party but nothing came to mind. Even when docking on a new harbor, like today, Zoro usually stayed at the bar drinking with friends and eating while the party went on for hours outside. It was his way of celebrating and there was nothing wrong with that, but… could he really dance? Zoro? He was always so serious all the time. The thought of him shaking his body frenetically on the dancefloor could make you laugh right then if your heart wasn't beating so fast at his strong gaze in your eyes.

"Well, maybe I should show you then," he smirked, stepping closer to you. You looked up; he was towering over you now, his shadow enveloping your whole body. He was so tall… "Can I?" he touched your hips gently, waiting for your answer.

"I..." you started. His gaze was intense, you were losing yourself in his dark pupils once again. You looked away. "Okay. Go ahead".

He proceeded to put one hand on your back and push you closer to him with the other, ending the distance between you two. You wrapped your arms around his neck, looking up at his face - but for what? He was looking down at you again, this time his gaze going from your eyes to your lips to your chest, and up to your eyes again. He couldn't help himself and you knew that. He always felt a bit lost when he interacted with you.

The song changed, now playing a slow ballad about a sailor falling in love with a mermaid. So cliché, but god, what a way to set the mood... Maybe it was because of the time - it was approaching one in the morning - or the fact that most people were so drunk they couldn’t care less about the music. Only a few couples were dancing together on the street. Then he started moving — to the right, to the left, bringing your body with him, his hips guiding yours to the sides, slowly, pushing you even closer to his chest, tightening his hold on your back, always keeping eye contact with you. You gasped. It was so hard to breathe when he was this close.

"You're looking beautiful tonight, Y/N," he said, breaking the silence.

You smiled — you knew that very well.

This was the first time you left the ship after your injuries were healed, so you wanted to look extra nice to make up for the time you were in bed. You asked Nami to help you change and she let you borrow some of her clothes, which is precisely why so many people were turning their heads to see you when you passed by them.

You were wearing comfortable small beige heels, a tight beige mini skirt with a high waist that covered up to your belly button, hiding your recent scar, and a burgundy big v-neck crop top that tied with a knot at the front. Your cleavage displayed a beautiful view of your chest, with a gold body necklace falling between your breasts and circling your belly to your back.

Your earrings were also made of gold, two small delicate hoops, and just one hour ago Robin had put a red hibiscus flower in your hair, right above your right ear. You looked stunning tonight and Zoro couldn't really blame Sanji for trying to slide his hands all over you as he, too, wanted to do the same.

"Thanks. You too, Zoro," you replied.

He always did, although tonight he was a bit more feisty. He wore a red, white, and green flowery buttoned shirt with short sleeves squeezing his biceps, some of the buttons open giving you the best view of his toned abs, the scar on his chest glistening when he moved against the street lights, along with beige khaki pants and sandals. His green hair was messy from the long night and he wore his usual golden piercings. We're kinda matching, you thought.

You smiled at him, he smiled back.

"How are you feeling? After everything, I mean..." He kept guiding your body to the sides, slowly, his calloused hand on your back making you shiver, so big and warm on your skin.

"Better. It hurts a little sometimes, especially on cold days, and Chopper still won't let me drink, but at least I can do things by myself now. Like, I can shower, change my clothes, walk… Look, I'm even dancing!" you exclaimed, laughing along. "By the way, it's true, you can dance! Who would've thought."

"What, you didn't think I could?" he raised his brows, a small smirk on his lips.

"Well, you're always so serious. I didn't think you liked to."

"I don't."

"Oh. Why did you ask me then?"

The smirk on Zoro's face disappeared for a moment and his eyes lingered on your lips. You could feel your face heating up again. You knew why.

"It's been a while since we talked. I wanted to check up on you." One of his hands removed a strand of hair from your face, the touch giving you goosebumps. You tried to laugh it off.

"As you can see, I'm fine! Besides, it's not like we don't live on the same ship anyway, you can talk to me anytime, man."

He kept looking at you and you kept smiling, hoping this would relieve the tension between you two. He smiled back eventually and you relaxed your muscles.

"I know," he replied. You could see a sparkle in his eyes, shining down at you. He was so beautiful you were losing your pace, tripping on his feet. "Hey, careful there. If you fall and hurt again, Chopper will come for my ass.” You both laughed at the thought — Chopper would be pissed for sure, after everything he did to patch your wounds.

The music changed to a happy upbeat tune, someone shouted in joy and people started gathering on the street again as if the melody had woken up the crowd. You looked around to spot your friends: Nami and Robin were chatting at the bar with two men, probably buying them drinks in hopes of a hook-up; oh, the poor things... you felt sorry for them. Luffy was arm-wrestling with strangers on the other side of the bar, Chopper and Usopp joined the drunk pirates on their tales of victories, and Sanji was nowhere to be seen. Knowing him, he was probably chatting, dancing, or perhaps "getting lucky" with another girl tonight.

Seemed like everyone was having a good time, so maybe you should let yourself enjoy the moment too.

You turned to Zoro, excited. "Okay samurai, you proved that you can dance a slow song but can you keep up with me now?" You let go of his arms and took a few steps back, jamming with the song.

"What did you just call me?" he laughed, watching your moves.

"Oh, sheesh!" Your hips moved from side to side with the music while your hands were pushing your hair up lazily, the body necklace on your belly bouncing with the sudden movements, shining when the streetlights reflected on it. "C'mon Zoro! Are you chickening out?" you looked deep into his eyes, challenging him.

Zoro was speechless. He couldn't take his eyes off of you, the movements so captivating he felt like the damn sailor of the last song, being seduced by a mermaid. He could sense his face heating up, hoping to not appear as nervous as he was feeling inside. "Never! And how many times do I need to tell you that I can dance?"

You approached him slowly, your hands touching his chest, your face close to his. "Just one more, samurai."

Your eyes met each other. He bit his lips. You smiled.

"Alright, come!" You pulled his shirt, bringing you both to a less crowded space.

Letting go of him, you started dancing again — hips rolling side to side, hair flowing, feet moving fast, your body necklace doing the thing that drove him crazy. Zoro couldn't take his eyes off you and even though this made you fluster, it also boosted your self-esteem.

It's been a long time since you danced like this, and after that last battle left you injured in bed for a month, you were feeling so down lately, especially looking at your new scar. It was ugly: the gunpowder burned deep into your skin, leaving a 10 cm (4 in) long big dark spot and abnormal texture with a thread of mini little scars, the image resembling a centipede — a result of Chopper's first aid patching.

You knew you should be grateful just to be alive, and of course you were, yet you couldn't help but feel sad looking at yourself in the mirror. It's not like you were the most confident woman ever before the scar, but you had your pride. Chopper said the dark stains would fade eventually with some treatment, but the texture would most likely stay the same. It wasn't the perfect scenario but you were happy anyway, and that's why having Zoro, Sanji and so many other people gazing at you in awe and desire was making you feel so powerful tonight.

You started circling his body without touching but keeping eye contact the entire time. Your hands were on your hips, making them break up and down, and up and down again. Your hair trembling with the movements, the knot on your crop top bouncing along with your breasts, a big smirk on your face. You were playing with him and he knew that.

It wasn't until you finished your little show that Zoro's right arm pulled you back to him. The sudden manhandle made you lose your breath for a moment, your mouth hanging open and your eyes staring at his in shock. Zoro chuckled at your expression but remained silent still, his hand resting on your lower back while his right leg slid between yours, locking your bodies together.

You gasped, extremely flustered, trembling at the feeling of his leg so close to your lovely spot. Oh my god!, you thought. If Zoro knew what he just did to your heart right now, he never let it show.

And just like that, he started guiding your hips to the beat of the song and you had to hold on to his body for balance. Step by step, he moved your bodies in such a perfect flow that left you speechless, his eyes still locked on yours, your faces so close together, you were sure he could feel your cheeks burning up. The leg between yours sometimes sliding in and out causing friction and driving you mad in his arms.

He gotta be doing this on purpose, there's no way— and as if he was reading your mind, Zoro's left eye winked at you, a big smile on his lips. Motherfucker. He was playing with you and you knew that now.

"Something wrong, Y/N?" he smirked.

Zoro seemed to be having a blast at your physical state. His grip was strong and he had the lead, so he knew if you wanted to outpace him you'd need to try harder.

But you were not a stranger to this game either. If he wanted to toy with you, then you should be the one pulling the strings. You smirked back. So that's how it’s gonna be, huh?

"I'm fine, doll. Just dance." He chuckled at the new nickname. Doll?, he thought. What the…

You pulled back, letting him know you were ready. At this point, the song had changed but the band kept the same upbeat pumping tune so Zoro continued the pace, this time with you adding to the table instead of just being led.

He opened his arms and whirled you around while you rolled your hips seductively, his other hand catching yours and bringing you back to him. His leg slid between yours again but now you mirrored his movements, dry humping each other's thighs at the beat of the song. You took a step back still rolling your hips and he followed, you whirled again as he caught you from behind — his chest pressing your back while his arms squeezed your body in a hug, both still shaking hips in sync, going down, down, down and then up, up, up again.

You let go of his grip and turned around to face him, you two were so close! You smiled, your right hand caressing his cheek slightly for a moment, as you proceeded to take a step back one more time to dance by yourself while he watched.

Zoro was in a trance, watching every step you took.

You did that thing where you break your hips from side to side, one hand on your hair and the other gripping the end of your mini skirt, pulling it up just a little bit but enough to drive him mad. You did a little belly dance and proceeded to roll your ass like a goddess. He wanted to let you do your thing but God, he wanted - no, he needed! - to touch you so badly. So he started approaching you slowly while dancing, his gaze locked on yours with fire in his eyes.

When he finally met you, his hand rested on your lower back again while the other snaked around your neck, gripping it and pulling down a little, just enough for you to get the clue — you let your body fall backward, your hair going down with the red hibiscus. He delighted at the sight of your body bending backward like this, the jewelry on your belly shining, your breasts going up giving him the most beautiful view of your chest, and your neck - oh God, your neck... He pushed you back to him and there you go, his leg sliding between yours for support and your hands holding his shoulders for balance. Your faces met again, nose touching nose. You both laughed.

"Oh my GOD, Zoro! Where did you learn to do that?! You're an amazing dancer, I'm speechless!" you exclaimed, still laughing.

"What? I just pulled you down—"

"Nooo, I meant the whole dance! Where did you learn it? You can't be this good if you don't like to dance! It's doesn't make sense"

Zoro kept smiling at you. You were so cute when you got excited about something.

"I don't know, I just went with the flow I guess," he said, moving the loose strands of hair from your face.

"Oh hell no, I don't believe in you! Tell me your secret, I swear I won't tell, please! Please, please, please, plea—!" you started begging like a child, doing little jumps and ruining all the work he had done to clean your face just now.

"Alright, alright, shut up! Damn you're so annoying," he said, smiling, loving every second of your little stunt.

He squatted to pick the flower that fell from your hair. "Ok, well… I usually like to stay in my lane at parties, drink, talk, eat, etc." He got up again, going back to fixing the loose strands on your face. "I'm not much of a feisty guy like Luffy or Usopp, you know that. People used to tease me a lot about this when I was younger, so I decided to shut them up for once. I... took a few dance classes with a friend and practiced by myself in the mirror..." you chuckled at the thought. "Yeah, I know... And I hated it. But it was important to me back then, so I kept practicing. One day my friends invited me to a party downtown and I danced with 5 girls or something. That's actually how I got my first kiss..." With your hair fixed, he proceeded to put the flower back in your right ear. "And that was it. I proved my point so I was done with the dance thing and got back to my swords." His hand lingered on your cheek a bit longer, caressing. You felt them burning up again.

"Wait, but you've never danced again after that?"

"Only a few times, here and there..."

"But— I’ve known you for almost two years, how come I've never seen you dancing before?!"

He chuckled at your narrowed expression. "You just did."

Your mouth hangs open in disbelief.

"You think you're such a smarty pants huh, you sly fox," you joked.

He couldn’t contain his laugh this time. "The f— What’s up with you and all those shitty nicknames today?"

You smirked. "Alright then. Now that I know you're a ballerina, I wanna do it again. Yes! Don't look at me like that, you owe me for all those years that you hid that secret from me. Besides, you were the one who insisted on dancing in the first place, so don't make me call Sanji now."

He gazed at you fondly, admiring every inch of your face. Losing himself in your smile for a moment.

"Sure, Y/N."

・｡♪.+ﾟ♬✿。☆ ｡ﾟ+｡・

On one hand, dancing was a tiring activity that aroused no interest in Zoro. He didn't enjoy it or find it fun, choosing to rather drink, train, or sleep instead. But tonight was a special night.

The crew docked in this harbor to stock for supplies, to find out it was the city's 100th birthday. It was a huge event for its citizens and the whole place was in a party mood: the streets were decorated with ribbons, flags, balloons, paper strings, streamers, swirls, etc, everything in the town's colors, including the stores, bars, and restaurants. People were singing, kissing and hugging each other, festive music was blasting everywhere, the aroma of spices and freshly baked meals in the air, children were rehearsing a play on the town square, something about the city's founder... Needless to say, the crew wanted to stay and celebrate with them. It was also your first time leaving the ship since you were injured so everyone agreed that this party came at a good time. But Zoro felt out of place.

Your accident drove him crazy, thinking you'd die even though Chopper was doing his best. He wasn't there when you took the blow so he felt guilty for not being able to protect you, even though he knew there was nothing he could do to prevent it. He couldn’t eat or sleep right the first week, your screams of pain making his body tremble with fear. When your fever was gone and Chopper assured everybody that you were gonna be okay, he remembered thinking he never felt that much relief before in his entire life. He was smiling everywhere for any reason, and he rarely smiled. Yet, when you were recovering, everybody did something special to help you get better except him.

He wasn't sure what to do — he wasn't a cook, a doctor, a joker, or, well, a woman. He didn't know how to comfort you. And to make it worse, you two were not talking much after that last fight... Were you still mad at him? Did you think about him sometimes?

"Get a grip, man!" he said to himself once. "You're overthinking this too much. Just go there already." But when he saw you in bed all wrapped up, gloomy, looking out the window, he froze. His heart ached; you looked so sad. How was he supposed to make you feel better? Talk about swords? Training? Sanji's eyebrows, puppies, the weather?! He heard Nami and Robin coming in the corridor for your usual girls’ night and he decided to try tomorrow, but tomorrow came every day and he still didn't know what to do.

So, tonight, he had the perfect gift: dancing! You loved dancing! He was a bit rusty but he thought he might remember some moves when the time came — well, if the crew left you alone for one goddamn second and Sanji took a break from flirting with you. Matter of fact, screw Sanji, here he goes!

But he wasn't counting on how well your body fit perfectly in his arms.

And how lovely you looked with that red flower in your hair…

And how drunk he was in your perfume, and how your laugh made his heart skip a beat, and how your eyes gleamed like stars when you looked at him like that, and how he felt goosebumps when you touched his neck for support, and how that fucking jewelry on your belly was driving him insane, and how your hips should be nominated for 8th World Wonder, and how your lips were silently inviting him for a kiss, even though you didn't know that yet…

Zoro was losing composure since the first time he touched you tonight.

Maybe dancing wasn't such a great idea after all, because having you grip on him like this, letting him touch your body, feeling your pelvis on his thigh, watching you roll your hips so close to his groin, oh dear Lord, Zoro was losing his shit. He wanted you. He did. And that's why he couldn't help but to slide his hands on your hips a little lower, and push you closer to him so your breasts squished against his chest, and snake his hands from your belly to the base of your crop top so he can feel the shape of your boobs, and caress your thighs when you turned your back on him, and smell your neck when you were in his arms.

It's like every movement of his, every action, every touch was saying I miss you.

But you knew that. You were feeling his touches, he wasn't exactly being subtle. You knew what he wanted but you were trying to be reasonable. You two had been through this before, you had a deal. This wasn't supposed to be happening, you wanted - no, you needed! - to stop his advances. But, God, why wouldn't your body obey your mind? How could you stop it from trembling and shivering after his touches, how could you lock the fucking butterflies in a cage to prevent them from flying around? How could you ease your breathing and stop clinging to his leg for friction, and restrain yourself from pulling his shoulders closer to you, and not run your hands through his hair when you had the chance? How could you contain the arousal that was threatening to escape from your panties and run down your thighs right now?

Although you didn't want to admit it, it was like your body was saying I miss you too.

Things were heating up between you, and just like that, the outside world was nothing but a distant buzz, a forgotten reality. Time had stopped for you again. The music mixed with the beating of your hearts and you were both drunk on each other’s bodies. Then it happened — Zoro whirled you around and pulled you back to him, hugging you from behind. It was too fast and the catch was a bit stronger than he predicted, with your ass pressing against the hard lump in his pants. Your body was so sensitive and overwhelmed with emotions that that was all it took for the million butterflies that were once flying like a tornado inside you to escape through the only place they could, and you moaned in his ear.

He felt as if a bolt of lightning had struck him, and every single part of his being shivered like he was gonna break in half. "Fuck!" he exclaimed, even his voice trembled.

Zoro couldn't take this any longer.

He turned you around so he would face you. You looked like you had just run a marathon. He smirked. Yeah, me too babe.

With one of his hands gripping your lower back and the other on your face, his thumb caressed your lips. This would fuck things up between you two again, he knew that. He was trying to figure out whether or not the jump was worth the fall.

You were out of breath, staring into his eyes. They were so full of lust… I know it's good, but you need to pull yourself together. This happened before Y/N, don't fall for it again. It's gonna hurt. You're not recovered.

His eyes locked on yours.

It is, he concluded.

Stop him!, you exclaimed in your head.

"Zo—" you started, but it was too late. His lips were already on yours, softly at first, and then hungry. You trembled at the touch as if the bolt of lightning that struck his body a minute ago was now rushing through yours. Your heart was racing, you felt your knees giving out and if he wasn't holding you in place, you were sure you'd fall.

Zoro turned his head to the side and his tongue touched your lips, asking to taste you. You were hesitant at first, still trying to rationalize the situation… yet you opened your mouth still, letting him inside. You knew you shouldn't be doing this but it was getting hard to resist him. When his tongue finally met yours, your mind went blank. He tasted like rice and sake, a lovely combination you were so familiar with. He pulled you closer to him, deepening the kiss. He was getting needier, desperate to finally have you.

You didn't know how or when but you started kissing him back, your hands traveling on his chest, feeling his muscles. You felt the hand that was on your back slide to your ass, rounding it and giving a hard squeeze. The sudden action made you moan involuntarily in his mouth, and you gripped his shirt as a failed attempt to hold the aching feeling between your legs.

He pulled back gently to study your face. You were gasping, trying to stabilize your breathing. Your dovey eyes meet his in such an innocent, desperate expression that Zoro felt a sting in his pants, his dick getting harder and harder in anticipation. His hand squeezed your ass once more, but this time his middle finger slid up your skirt, touching your soaked panties.

You shuddered in his arms, mortified. The fucking bastard… he touched it! He felt how wet you are, he knew now the complete mess your body was and you saw a smirk forming on his lips, as if he knew, too, what was going on inside your head.

Zoro leveled his face to yours and his mouth went to your ear, so close his lips were almost touching it. "I forgot how sensitive you were, Y/N..." he whispered, his hot breath making you dizzy. He proceeded to kiss your neck softly, leaving wet trails down the length.

You closed your eyes and allowed yourself to feel it. Feel him. You forgot how good he was. He knew all your weak spots and it wasn't long until you moaned in his ear again. As a response, he squeezed your ass roughly, grabbing more of it. His fingers were pressing on your panties, finding your hole, drenching themselves on your slick. The kisses on your neck were getting hungrier. You were losing your mind — you could feel your heartbeats pulsing between your legs, the slickness would escape and run down your thighs soon.

Suddenly, you heard a glass bottle crashing on your left that made you jump, frightened. You turned your head to see the drunk pirates screaming at each other happily, a loud, out-of-tune chant about who knows what. Zoro seemed to notice too but didn't care.

"Some people just don't know how to drink..." he laughed it off, returning to kiss your neck.

But the magic was over.

You were now noticing where you two were: in the middle of the street, grabbing each other's bodies, letting him finger you in front of so many people. In front of your crew! You looked around, trying to filter the situation, trying to spot familiar faces. Some people were indeed watching you two kiss, a few men eyeing your body up and down with smug looks on their faces; you were mortified, wanting to hide from their disgusting gaze. You couldn't find Luffy, Robin, Usopp, Chopper, and Sanji, but Nami…

Your eyes locked with hers.

She was still at the bar, watching you two with a shocked face. Speechless.

Oh my god! Oh my god, oh my god…!! You felt your heart skip a beat. How long was she standing there? How much did she see? You turned to Zoro immediately, tapping his chest furiously.

"Zoro! Zoro, stop! Stop!" you begged. He looked at you with concern on his face, trying to figure out what the hell did he do wrong this time.

"What is it? Did I hurt you?" he searched for swollen marks or scratches on your neck. He was trying to be gentle, but he was thinking with his dick the whole time so he wasn't entirely sure.

"No! It's not that, but… what are you doing? We're in the middle of the streets, people can see us!"

"Oh..." he grinned. "And? You seemed to like it a lot.” You felt your face burning up at his words.

"No, I didn’t!", you lied. "And Nami saw us! She's over there, Zoro, oh my God…!" you pointed in the direction where Nami was standing with your eyes, but you couldn't make yourself look at her again so you bit your lips and buried your face in Zoro's chest in embarrassment.

Zoro looked at where you pointed, finding Nami sitting at the bar with a drink in her hands and a very pleased smile on her face. She raised the glass at him. Zoro rolled his eyes. "Y/N…" he started, taking you by your shoulders and pulling you gently off of his chest. "I… I don't care about this anymore..."

You faced him. "B-but—! Still! Zoro, we talked about this a million times! We had a deal, we're done! Why did you kiss me?"

His face twisted in a frown. Zoro opened his mouth to say something, probably an excuse, but he couldn’t think of anything that justified his actions. Nothing but the truth.

"How could I not, Y/N?"

"Zoro!"

"I can't stop thinking about you ever since that fight…" he let go of your shoulders, his hands now enveloping your cheeks tenderly.

"No—! Stop, let's not do this again. I am so done with this conversation—!"

"I'm serious. It's been hell not being able to talk to you these last few months, and then you were almost killed! I thought you were gonna die. I thought I had lost you…" he leans his head close to yours, trying to reach your lips.

"Zoro, please..." you whisper.

"...it's been too long already, Y/N. I missed you. And I think you missed me too..." he says, lips brushing with yours.

"You're hurting me..." you whisper back against his lips.

He stops. Your voice was trembling as if you were about to cry. He pulled back a little to watch your expression.

"Can't you see? This is so confusing!" there were tears forming on the corner of your eyes, threatening to fall. "I can't do this anymore… You're hurting me…" you grab his hands softly, looking deep into his dark eyes. "Please let me go."

Zoro kept staring at you. He had no reaction, and for a moment you doubted if he had even heard what you said. But he did, he heard you loud and clear. What he didn't have, however, was a response.

After what felt like forever, you removed his hands from your face and whispered I'm sorry, leaving him where he stood in his petrified state and headed in Nami's direction. She looked confused at you two, not understanding a single bit about what had just happened.

As you were walking away, you thought you heard him calling your name but the music was so loud you weren't sure.

You approached Nami, trying to not appear as flustered as you were inside.

"Where's everyone?" you asked, sniffing.

Nami looked at you with suspicion. "Usopp and Chopper took Luffy back to the ship, he fell asleep after all that food. Robin went to the bathroom and Sanji was talking to some girls over there but he's gone for like one hour or something, I don't know"

"I see." You glanced back. Zoro was coming towards you two. You feel your heart racing again; you wanted to run, escape his grip. "Well, I'm heading back. I'm tired. You coming?"

"I'll wait for Robin."

"Okay then. See you later." You didn't wait for her answer, going straight to ship.

Not long after you had gone, Zoro passed Nami, also heading to the ship after you. But she grabbed his hand, stopping him from taking one step further.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"That's none of your business," he barked back, already losing his patience.

"You're right, it's not. And I don't know what's going on between you two but she's clearly upset. Maybe you should let things cool down first before you do something stupid that you'll regret later."

"Why do you care?!" He let go of her hold, his face twisted in anger.

"Because she's my friend! And you too, you idiot!" Nami yelled, making Zoro freeze in place. She always knew how to shut everyone up when she wanted, most of the time being the only functioning brain cell of the crew. Zoro would never say it out loud, but sometimes she scared the hell out of him...

Nami sighed.

"Look… let me talk to her, okay? She'll open up to me, maybe I can help."

"How can you be so sure about that?" Zoro was calmer now, looking at her with a worried expression. He didn't know what to do, it was true. He didn't have a plan. Yet he couldn't let you go away like this — not until he said some things first.

"Uhh… because I'm a woman? Talking about men's stupidity is our favorite hobby," she joked. Zoro rolled his eyes in disappointment. Nami sighed again; he was so boring. What the hell did you see in him? "She's probably stressed out by this whole situation. And the way she reacted when I caught you two kissing made me think that maybe this was a secret and it's going on for quite some time. Am I right or…?"

He hesitated to answer at first but decided to shake his head.

"Yeah."

"How long?"

"Does it matter?"

"Of course it does! You want my help or not?"

It mattered indeed, but what Nami really wanted was to know the juicy details. She liked some gossip every now and then.

"I guess… maybe 7, 8 months. But it wasn't steady. We… separated a few times."

"Wow."

"What?" he barked.

"Nothing. So… she's probably pent up"

"Who's pent up?" Robin appeared behind them, coming out of the women's bathroom.

"The girl that we saw with Sanji a minute ago. She's gotta be pent up as hell to be leaving the party with him, don't you think?" Nami blinked at Zoro. He was impressed by how easily she made up a lie like that.

"Oh, absolutely. Are you guys leaving to the ship?" said Robin.

"Yeah, in a sec," Nami replied, turning her attention to Zoro. "Anyway man, I’ll see what I can do about your swords. But I can't promise anything," she blinked at him again. "We're heading out now. Let's go, Robin."

Zoro watched them both walk away, with Robin asking Nami what happened to his swords and Nami answering, He needs to see a bladesmith and I'm looking for an island nearby that has one.

Wow. Zoro didn't know if he should feel impressed or intimidated by Nami's lying skills. Well, she was a thief before, so it made sense right? Stealing from pirates wasn't an easy job.

He stayed at the bar for a little longer, drinking, thinking about everything that happened that night. Thinking about what you said. You're hurting me… those words kept echoing inside his head, over and over again. He knew that kissing you was going to fuck things up but he needed to try. He needed to taste you again.

The way you clung to his body when you two were dancing, how you moaned in his ears, how your hands traveled on his chest, the way you kissed him back, how wet you were when he grabbed your ass… none of this was fake, he knew you missed him too — well, at least your body did.

If this meant it was really over between you two, then he wouldn't bother you anymore. But first, he had to say a few things. He needed to let you know how he felt.

As he drank another cup of sake, lost in thoughts, Zoro could only hope that Nami would be able to handle the situation better than him right now; he was hoping she knew what she was doing.

・｡♪.+ﾟ♬✿。☆ ｡ﾟ+｡・

A knock on your door woke you up from your messy thoughts. You looked down at your clothes; it had been 10 minutes since you started fidgeting your necklace. Your heart was still beating fast, but you were glad Zoro didn't follow you. You thought about taking a shower when you arrived but you kept thinking about the things Zoro said to you... the way his arms held you in place, his kisses, his smell, his fingers on your—

Knock, knock, knock.

"Coming!" you yelled, trying to shake the images out of your mind. You really needed that shower.

You opened your door to find Nami waiting. Oh, you knew this would happen... Matter of fact, you were kinda hoping it happened sooner. You were a bit tired of the drama.

"Hey,” she said.

"Hey,” you answer back, making space for her to enter your room.

Nami passed by you, heading to your bed and taking a seat. You closed the door slowly.

"So… what a night, huh?" she started, a smirk on her face. You tried to hold a laugh but it escaped anyway, resulting in a comical snort. Resting your back against the door, you turned your head to face her.

"What a night," you agreed.

"Wanna talk about it?" she asked.

You sigh, thinking about the mess you and Zoro were standing in right now. Of course you missed him too, there's no way you could deny it. But you two had a complicated past and you always ended up fighting and hurting each other, so you both agreed it would be for the best to end things for once. You had a deal. Things weren't great between you two lately but they'd be eventually, wouldn't they? He didn't have the right to revive these feelings again, it wasn't right.

"It's complicated, I don't even know where to begin—"

"How about from the beginning? I have time," Nami crossed her legs with a mischievous look on her face. Oh, I have all the time in the world for this, girl. She giggled. "Shoot."

You chuckled. She was enjoying this way too much. You looked for a chair in your room, finding one close to the window. You placed it close to where Nami was and took a seat.

"Ok, so… it all started in Skypiea—"

"Oh my god!" Nami exclaimed, already covering her mouth with her hands. She dropped then suddenly, to mouth one I'm sorry, go on!

You sighed again, laughing.

It was going to be a looong night.

#zoro x reader #roronoa zoro x reader #zoro smut #one piece smut #zoro x you #one piece x reader #zoro x y/n #zoro fic #zoro #roronoa zoro #one piece #badboyitadori #bbi fics

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