#the pink is a reference to Biscuits the unicorn

[puppetmaster13u]

My sleep deprived self when I remember Bruce had a unicorn at one point: what if Bruce but unicorn

[romantinkerbell1709]

101 Ways To; Piss Off and Annoy Marvel Heroes and Villains

Note; Performing any of these acts against any superhero is likely to get your nose punched. So…run fast…

 1.        Swap out Spider-Man’s Web Fluid for Silly String.

2.        Hide Director Fury’s eye patch, then-

3.        -Blame it on another Hero that would do something the like as a joke and run for the hills.

4.        Give Beast a razor as a present (not specifically birthday).

5.        Give Spider-Man bug spray as a present (not specifically birthday).

6.        Give Black Panther a ball of yarn as a present (not specifically birthday).

7.       Give any cat name/related hero a ball of yarn.

8.        When Black Cat or any other cat related hero is sitting on the couch, spray them with water and say “No” or “Off the couch”

9.        Carry a Paint Ball gun around and use it on the Invisible Woman at every chance.

10.   Carry around a paint ball gun in general and use it on anyone at any given chance (Stay out of sight and use it on someone that won’t shoot back).

11.    Repaint Tony Stark’s Iron Man suit in “girly” colours.

12.    Take Captain America’s shield-

13.    -Repaint it in “girly” colours.-

14.    -This will also piss of Agent Coulson...

15.    ...And Fury.

16.    Ask Black Widow if she often reverts to cannibalism after a one-night stand, then run screaming (because if and when she gets the reference she will most likely kill you).

17.    Ask any hero a question and keep asking “Why?”.

18.    Fill Nova’s helmet with water and say you thought it was a bucket.

19.   Do the same with sand or dirt…maybe even all three…aka; mud.

20.    Hide someone’s, anyone’s, mask or weapon...probably not Mjolnir...

21.    Do anything annoying to make Fury angry then run for the hills (honestly, not that hard)

22.    Take Spidey’s web-shooters and go play.

23.    Prank any hero you can successfully run away from.

24.    Buy Nova a birthday Bunny and put it in his room.

25.    Ask Wolverine if you can borrow his “knuckles” to make dinner.

26.    Use a flying hero as a taxi-

27.    -Continuously ask, even if they say “No”.

28.    Ask for Thor’s help and get him to place Mjolnir on any sleeping hero.

29.    Blackmail! In exchange for keeping identities secret.

30.    Ask Spider-Man if he’s afraid Black Widow will eat him and hope he doesn’t revert to sarcasm too quickly (It ruins the fun).

31.    Give Wolverine dog biscuits at any time.

32.    Get a leash for Wolverine and tell him you’ll take him out for “walkies”  every day.

33.    Literally leave him out in the yard with a dog house when the term is called for.

34.    The old whipped cream and feather trick, use this on the Hulk (you might just get away with it if it is cream…)

35.    If you can, or with help, reprogram Stark’s AI so that it does the opposite of what he asks (Be sure to change it back when he’s in the Iron Man suit, otherwise there could be some messy results and maybe a lawsuit)

36.    Hide Spider-Man’s homework.

37.    Or say that Wolverine ate it.

38.    Laugh maniacally in front of anyone and don’t stop, even if you have to run from them.

39.    Ask Iron Fist if he can crush diamonds or if they’ll cut him.

40.    Give Spider-Man a plate of dead flies and tell him to eat up-

41.    -It doesn’t have to be specifically flies.

42.    Give cat Heroes mouse pie-

43.    -And cat toys.

44.    Also, give squeaky toys to canine related heroes (like Wolverine and such)

45.    In your mind, shout out the lyrics to “Barbie Girl” by Aqua or something just as annoying, and keep doing it, so that the mind readers can hear you.

46.    Wash Spider-Man’s suit with a hint of bleach so it either comes out splotchy, pink or both.

47.    Dress up as a ghost and “haunt” someone.

48.    Dress up as a hero and convince others that you’re them or-

49.    -Be the “smaller them” and follow them around all day.

50.    Use a dog whistle in range of canine heroes and run.

51.    Just sneak up on anyone and scare the life out of them (or hope you can sneak up on them).

52.    Continuously knock and run at Spider-Man’s house.

53.    And Xavier’s school…if you’re fast enough…and daring enough.

54.    Wax or slick the floor then call for Quicksilver and step out of the way.

55.    Ask Thing if any of his family live/work, in/near a quarry.

56.    Ask Thing if his biggest fear is bulldozers.

57.    Ask Strange how “his hands are today.” (expect repercussions)

58.    Ask Hawkeye if he’s sure he can hit anything and keep asking.

59.    Ask Hercules if he misses his friend Aeolus and have a good giggle at his expense (if you don’t know the character, refer to the Hercules TV Series)

60.    Call Fury “Captain Pirate Fury” and say “Aye, aye, Captain” whenever he gives an order-

61.    -Ask if he or everyone gets the day off on National Talk like a Pirate Day.

62.    Ask Steve why he calls for Bucky in his sleep.

63.    Find intimate Fan-Fiction between Steve and Bucky and show it to them and ask them if it’s all true.

64.    Find a live hawk and show it to Hawkeye. Tell him you found him a friend and then-

65.    Take out some bird seed and ask if Hawkeye if he wants any.

66.    Paste Captain America pictures and posters in Tony’s room, making sure one of them is a questionable Fan production.

67.    Have a discussion with Thor about his rumored obsession with his brother, then-

68.    Ask the brothers if the rumours are true, and finally -

69.    When questioned about said rumours, feign unknowing and walk away innocently.

70.    Have a clinical discussion with Loki about his need for domination.

71.    Hide Loki’s Staff in Thor’s Room, then run for popcorn and watch the feathers fly.

72.    Bring Thor into the game by having him pin Loki on the floor by his cape using Mjolnir

73.    Have Thor pin Loki’s staff using Mjolnir.

74.    Tell Loki his new nickname is “Goat” or “Ram”

75.    Tell Fury that Tony is hiding something from him…in the Hulks pants…

76.    Tell Deadpool that Tony want to give him new weapons – then RUN

77.    Tell Deadpool that Spiderman DOES love him, but is too scared to tell him.

78.    Bring Deadpool into the game and tell him to spray Ant-Man and Spiderman with “bug spray” whilst screaming about bugs and them being bugs (just make sure the “bug spray” is non-toxic)

79.    Replace everything metal in Magneto’s base with plastic replicas.

80.    Turn the star on Bucky’s arm into a flower.

81.    Ask Fury where the explosives are usually kept, then casually make your way there, occasionally mumbling or laughing manically, then -

82.    Leave fake explosives around the Hele-Carrier for people to find.

83.    Start singing obnoxiously loud, obscene songs at the most inconvenient moments.

84.    Put itching powder in Spiderman’s gloves or in his suit.

85.    With help, paint up Stark tower in “girly” colours and change “Stark” into “Stank”, then-

86.    Re-programme the AI to call Tony “Mr. Stank”.

87.    Re-programme the AI’s voice so its pitchy and swears a lot.

88.    Ask Vision what is like to date a girl half his age, then-

89.    Call him a paedophile and run away screaming about it.

90.    Ask Tony how many children he has now, then say you thought you saw his younger self earlier that day.

91.    Ask Loki why he thinks Thor is obsessed with him and if he returns his feelings. At this point, it would be smart to run like hell.

92.    Ask Scarlett Witch if she’s dating the man who dresses like a Grandfather.

93.   Lock someone in a round room and tell them the key is in the corner.

94.    Ask Spidey if he’s seen the FanFiction about him and the Green Goblin.

95.    Three words – Deadpool, Spiderman, FanFiction.

96.    Lock someone in a dim/dark room and tell them that the key is in there somewhere (or possibly on you, outside the room...)

97.    Ask Wolverine how good Beast is in the bedroom then run for your life (can be used vice-versa with varying results)

98.    Tell or ask Wolverine if he knows about Deadpool’s obsession with his “Smooth Criminals Down Under”

99.    Steal Negasonic Teenage Warhead’s phone and hide it in Deadpool’s bed with Deadpool’s Mr. Unicorn.

100.   Steal Deadpools Katana’s and Mr. Unicorn. Leave a ransom note threatening to use said Katana on said Unicorn (some running required)

101.    Hello Kitty the Hele-carrier.

I realise that not all of them are probably that funny, but I hope you enjoyed reading this and had a few giggles at least.

=)

RTB