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eldritch-araneae · 4 years

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Windblade, Bumblebee, and Sari from my Sparkpulse AU :3

Below is quick AU explanation ( it’s 13,4k works, I’m sorry I tired to keep it short I SWEAR XD) Also I’m such dumbass, I forgot their Autobot sigils! XDDD

Core ideas of the AU:

It’s basically G1+TFA+Cyberverse mix;

This AU revolves around Bumblebee as the main protagonist;

Autobots crash-landed on Earth in 1985, they landed in Detroit, specifically on Belle Isle;

Earth became their home and Autobots pretty much-integrated into human society over 33 years. They influenced human society a lot, that helped to avert climate and energy crisis( as not wanting humans going the same road as cybertronians by depriving their planet of resources);

Ark has fusion reactors that are used in Energon production. Autobots encouraged humans to use their own fusion reactors, which allowed human civilization to completely get rid of fossil fuel as the main power source;

Setting: Solarpunk (when the story happens);

Sparks exist and give a lifeforce to all forms of life, not just to cybertronians;

Cybertron is gone, nothing can fix it;

Decepticons only arrive in 2018.

Bumblebee’s Background.

Bumblebee is the youngest among Autobots, who was found on the road unconscious back on Cybertron by Jazz.

After examining him, Ratchet shares his concerns with Optimus - not only Bumblebee is abnormally small but his plating is soft and flexible, yet fragile, it would be easy to cut and melt through. He also lacks physical strength.

All of this implies that Cybertron has no more resources to forge any new bots and Bumblebee is the last.

This means there is no way Optimus should send the minibot to fight ( tho Bee has a lot of courage and will pull some crazy stunts here and there), so instead he assigns Bee for scouting and spying missions under Jazz’s supervision ( Special Operations).

Introductions went pretty well, though Optimus admitted that Bumblebee’s face seemed familiar.

Soon, after the first few scouting missions, it’s revealed that Bee has a bit more problems. His spark is strange, it’s producing way too much energy that his small frame can handle, resulting in the erratic sparkpulse that overwhelms his entire system and shut him down for 5 minutes.

Thankfully it was discovered after Bee finished his duty, but still, it raised a lot of concerns. Ratchet tried his best to examine his spark chamber, only to find that the minibot’s spark was sealed shut in some sort of protective shell. This shell cannot be opened. Cutting through it would be bad, so Ratchet opted to work with what he has.

He first suggests Bee burn down this excessive energy, which works pretty well, as training with Windblade, or doing short races where it’s relatively safe with Hot Rod and such. Still, despite his efforts, the spark eventually will send a huge energy surge that would force-reboot Bumblebee. It didn’t stop Bee from taking on his missions and one of the reboots happened in the middle of the duty. That scared the shit out of everyone as they lost contact with him while he was on Decepticons territory. Thankfully, like clockwork, he was back in 5 minutes. After he completed the mission of securing intel, he had to convince Optimus that he would be okay even if he shut down because Deceptions would never catch him. Bee reveals that he has one interesting ability - he can sense sparks of others( both signature and the pulse).

For some reason, he thought everyone could do this, that's why he never mentioned it before.

That allows him to plan ahead, as he pays attention to hiding places and Deception’s nearby and how they move, easily avoiding his enemies.

Soon he’s pretty much known as the elusive Autobot who will break onto your base, steal all your shit and get away without being caught. Megatron even places a big bounty for catching Bumblebee that is yet to be fulfilled. Then he gets known for being someone who Deceptions, who wants to join Autobots can go to and arrange the meeting with Optimus Prime. Windblade always helps him with this: Bee can sense what is spark feeling, while she can use psychic abilities to catch a sense of their intent. Together they never made a mistake, though there were a couple of close calls.

So this keeps going for a short period of time until Bee catches some terrible wave of spark signatures, emitting from below. Something tells me that they are in grave danger and Autobots must leave Cybertron for good. Such a claim isn’t taken lightly, asking what proof Bee has.

Sadly, he cannot prove anything aside from “terrible screams of mass death coming from Cybertron's core”. He feels like he knows, but he cannot recall any memories from his data banks. All he knew was that they were screwed and it’s all because of Shockwave ( who Bee hates the most, not even Megatron sparks so much anger within him as seeing Shockwave does.). Windblade also caught this as well with her different sensors so she sided with Bumblebee. Then she decided to look into Bee’s mind and see if she can help Bee to recover those memories.

It quickly proves that it’s not that simple - all his memories that come before he was found by Jazz are sealed away. And not by some hard-coding shenanigans, but by Vector Sigma - a device that was used to program the AllSpark ( the thing that gives life to cybertronians) so it will create a desired form of life.

And not just him, but Windblade also discovered this seal, though it only seals specific cluster to memories, which timeframe aligns with Bee’s seal.

So they had a picture: Shockwave did something that messed up Cybertron’s core and, presumably, Bee and Windlade witnessed this( and apparently have met before)? The only way to find out, a break-in to The Spire of Forging ( a place where cybertronians were born), and use Vector Sigma to break the seals.

That caused a huge fight as the spire was currently controlled by Decepticons, while Megatron suddenly got an idea to use the AllSpark to reprogram Autobots into Decepticons. So it becomes a race. Windbalde, Bumblebee, and Optimus have reached the Chamber of Creation first...only to find out that Vector Sigma is destroyed - the device was cut apart and crucial components were missing. But it wasn’t all - the AllSpark was gone as well!

Understanding that there is nothing they can do, they retreat, followed by angry Megatron’s shooting.

After the battle Optimus informed anyone of their grim situation: AllSpark is missing( they searched for it, this artifact that very strong and unique signature but it’s literally nowhere on Cybertron), Vector Sigma is destroyed and there is still a threat that gets closed to the surface that will destroy them all ( Bee was very insistent of leaving).

So he makes it a vote between all Autobots: shall they leave or keep fighting. To Bee’s surprise, the majority decided on leaving. Relieved, he begins helping others to prepare Ark ( their spaceship) for a long journey.

When Ark was ready to launch, some complications happened ( as the ship wasn’t in perfect condition for interstellar travels) but they managed to leave Cybertron and begin their journey to their new home.

In general, Bee is in a good relationship with almost every Autobot. Optimus values him as both an amazing scout and a good friend who isn’t afraid to speak his mind and question everything.

Bumblebee befriends Windblade - the cityspeaker from Caminus ( which was of one the first colonies that were destroyed during the war). She absolutely adores Bee’s carefree and optimistic attitude, never being tired of his silly antics ( which he often does on purpose to lighten her mood).

They become pretty close, and Bee has no problem opening up to her, like sharing his fears ( he is really brave but isn’t fearless).

Some bots like Sunstreaker don't really like Bumblebee much. He thinks that Bee is a defective bot that will doom their entire cause and this animosity intensified when Bee starts bringing in former Decepticons and insisting on leaving their planet behind. (Sunstreaker’s twin, Sideswipe, admits it’s probably because his brother used to be like Bumblebee, kind and hopeful, but the war has changed him and he hates it.)

Bumblebee tried his best to ignore Sunstreaker, but it is difficult as he compares himself to bigger and stronger bots, feeling like what he’s doing isn’t enough. That being fast, athletic and cunning isn’t enough - he must be more, he must become strong. Which causes him to take some crazy decisions that will put Bee in danger and probably get hurt.

He desperately craves recognition and respect from others while not realizing that he already has it.

The arrival of Autobots on Earth in 1985.

After one warp jump, they ended up in the Solar System. The Ark wasn’t doing well ( esp engine) and needed repairs if they wanna continue their journey. Teletraan-1 scanned the solar system, informed Autobots about the planet they are currently orbiting (Earth) has a sentient lifeform along with a diverse ecosystem. This surprised everyone because of the odds of them jumping tens thousand light-years away from Cybertron and ending up near other sentient beings.

Optimus didn’t wish to disturb other sentient beings, he decided that they should move to another planet, fix their ship, and move out.

For that Teletraan-1 suggested staying on the fifth planet’s orbit which is a gas giant (Jupiter). Gas Giants are known for having a lot of hydrogen and helium and additionally, some chemical compounds like ammonia which can be used in producing deuterium and tritium ( isotopes of hydrogen) which are used as fuel for fusion reactors.

The only issue was how to get there, as their ship is fragile at the moment. Wheeljack suggested using gravity assist still should be okay.

Teletraan-1 calculated the positions of the planets and it’s been decided they were gonna use Earth’s gravity to propel forward, then circle around and do another flyby near Earth - that would give them another speed to reach Jupiter.

Suddenly Teletraan-1 informs the crew about a big asteroid that is headed in their direction and the collision is imminent. It happened fast, before Autobots could maneuver Ark off of the way. After the asteroid successfully vibe checked Autobots, the Ark got seriously damaged and was flung towards the planet. They couldn't break from gravitational pull so Autobots had to prepare for impacts, which would be easier if the ship weren’t breaking apart at that moment, Teletraan-1 did it’s best to stir the ship away from the cities.

Meanwhile, in chaos, Bumblebee fell into a hole in the ship’s walls and he landed in the water of Lake Erie. The impact was terrible as it almost tore his arm from his body. He screamed in pain and was forced into reboot.

Then he woke up next time, he was still in the water, completely disoriented - mostly to the fact he could sense so many sparks around him. He brushed it off as it wasn't important at the moment.

While still being in pain, he managed to swim up to the surface to look around. Bee saw a big smoke rising in the distance, assuming this is where Ark landed, he tried to make his way there.

Then Bee sensed something nearby, another spark with clear distress radiating from it. He looked around but saw nothing, then he submerged under the water. He saw a small figure who was struggling to swim.

Bee dive deeper ( while doing his best to ignore the pain of his damaged arm), gently caught the figure and went back to the surface. The figure took a big inhale and coughed a lot. Bee was concerned, but he could only observe for now.

He first noticed how this being kinda reminded him of his own kin: they have 4 limbs- 2 legs and 2 arms with 5 fingers, the face structure is similar as well, they also warm and look like they vent as well ( aka breathing. Cybertronian’s breathing is part of the air cooling system.see more in Trivia). While there was a lot of difference as well( being organic lifeform and such), that amazed Bumblebee that he almost forgot about his hand.

After being calmed down, the figure finally looked at their savior only to meet face to face with a giant alien robot. He yelled as a surprise, while Bee yelled back because the former's yell startled him pretty much.

After the shock faded and understanding that Bee wasn't doing anything bad ( they were just chilling in the lake) they sighed in relief and smiled, thanked him for saving them. Bee cannot understand what the figure says, but he assumes right he can sense relief emitting from the figure’s spark and replies, which of course the other didn’t understand as well.

The figure then gestures towards the mainland that isn’t far away, while making a paddling motion which Bee understood as “take me to the land”. He nodded ( to his relief on it means the same thing for humans) and he began swimming towards the land. Which pretty much drained him as they both arrived and his hand got worse.

Bumblebee curled on the ground, trying to endure, but once again his system shut him down. The last thing he hears as the figure calls to him is a worry.

The next time he awoke, he wasn’t by the lake anymore, but inside of some sort of garage. He was lying on the floor and he tried to get up, but again his arm hurt, though he noticed that this time the pain is tolerable somehow.

He looks to the side and sees that his entire arm was wrapped into some weird stuff, kinda looking like duct tape? Sure it was flimsy, it kept his arm from falling apart.

Two figures entered the room: one he’s already familiar with, which is this person he saved from the lake, and others. They look similar to each other, the other person looking older, for some reason they reminded him of Ratchet. Bee tried to sit up again, but the pain wasn't letting him. Two people instantly got worried, saying something to him which he imagined was something like “please don’t move”. The older one went close to examine the arm closely, Bumblebee knew this look: a look of someone who is checking on the work they did...really reminded of Ratchet again.

Bee sighs and gives a small smile and thanks to them, though he knows they won’t understand the hopes that the tone of his voice suggested the meaning. The older person nods in acknowledgment, then they exchanged a few words with the younger one and left the room.

The younger one sat by Bee. Autobot looked at them, observing them once more, taking more onto more features and he could tell that they did the same with him. Suddenly their expression lighted up as if they had an idea. Bee tilted his head slightly in question.

Making sure that Bee’s attention is on them, the figure points at themself says “I”. At first, Bee was confused, so they repeated it again. The only thing he could think of is to repeat the same. The exclamation followed by a nod means he did it right. Then they pointed at him and said “you”. Bee did the same...and suddenly it’s clicked. The language, they were teaching him their language! He smiled and they continued.

Somewhere in the middle of this, they finally introduced each other. The person’s name is Spike Witwicky, a 15yo boy who is living with his father and helping him with the car repairs business. When Bumblebee introduced himself, Spike giggled, saying that Bee’s name sounded exactly how they call a specific insect. The Autobot snorts, funding this coincidence amusing.

What a strange planet, and he began liking it already.

Spike asks if Bee came from that huge ship that was falling. He nods, explaining ( in his broken English I imagine) that an asteroid took them down, and then he fell through the hole into the water at high speed that almost tore his arm off. Spike winced sympathetically, assuring that now Bee is gonna be alright. Then he thanks the yellow Autobot for saving him, Bee smiled in response, saying he did what he was right. Though he gets curious how Spike ended up in the water in the first place and Spike blushes in embarrassment because he was looking at the descending Ark and he wasn’t paying attention that he was hanging on slippery ground. He fell and since he wasn’t a good swimmer, the current took him away from the land until Bumblebee found him later.

Soon Spike’s father returns with more supplies and he was pleasantly surprised that their guest can communicate with them. Bee thanks him for patching his arm, tho the old guy says he can do some more, while they try to find out where the Ark landed so they can return Bee back to his people.

A bit later in the evening, Spike decided to show Bee various VHS tapes documentaries about Earth( he almost moved tv and VHS player to the garage), he could have a picture of what their planet was like. The Autobot happily agrees, being both curious and see it as an opportunity to learn more English words.

After a few days, Spike’s dad found out where the Ark landed, on Belle Isle. He offered Bumblebee a lift ( he has a truck which also was used to transport the Autobot from the lake’s shore). Bee gladly agrees, being happy they were helping him even though they didn't have to. To which Spike replied that Bee didn't have to save him either, but he did it anyway.

Spike with dad helped him to get onto the thing where to connect the thing ( lol I forgot), they both sat into the car and began their ride.

The trip went okay, Bee even relaxed and looked around the city, being amazed because everything was new, the sensations were new. Though sure he could see people staring at him, understanding that they know about Autobots...after all, there is no way you could miss something like this as their crash landing. There was probably a lot of news going on about this.

Thankfully, Spike informed him that the ship didn’t kill anyone during the crash, which was a great relief on his spark.

Soon they arrived at their destination, Bee peeks over the truck to see the damage around ( a lot of broken trees), and the Ark wasn’t looking so good. He hoped at least everyone was okay!

Suddenly Windblade quickly walked out of Art’s entrance, expecting these humans to be more reporters or whatever and before she could draw any conclusions, Bee called her name and waved with his good arm which instantly grabbed her attention.

She ran over to her best friends, that he’s alive ( she was looking everywhere and was worried sick) and really wanted to bear hug him, but she saw the arm, so she hugged him gently. Then Bee explained to her that those humans helped him ( gesturing to his broken arm). Windblade thanked the theme, as Bee translated to them.

After that Windblade announced to everyone over comms that Bee is alive and found, but required medical attention. Meanwhile, Spike looked a bit sad and asked if he’ll see Bumblebee again. The bot smiled and told him that he memorized the path from Spike’s home to Ark, so he will find it again. For that Spike jumped into a hug ( Windblade quietly ‘awww’ed at the scene).

Windblade helped Bee to stand up and get off the truck, both humans wished Bumblebee speedy recovery before they headed home. She was asking Bee about his new friends ( and also commenting how it was only their couple of days on this planet and he already befriended aliens amazing), Bee ofc told her everything.

On Art, the crew was overjoyed with Scout's return, though Ratchet quickly led him into the med bay as it was clear how much damage he sustained. Meanwhile, Bee sends to Teletraan-1 anything he learned in English, to share with other Autobots, which Optimus was delighted with such a turn of events as it meant he can finally properly contact humans.

After Autobots got a bit established ( like making connections with humans and stuff), Bee finally paid a visit to Spike, the boy was so happy to see him again.

After that Bumblebee and Spike spend a lot of time together and become friends. Spike also befriended Windblade, while we weren’t as close with her as with Bee, they enjoyed each other's company. Spike’s dad also made friends among Autobots. Together they learned more about the world they were stranded in, with all its beauties and problems, discovering new things like sparks actually being in every living being, Bee has to train himself to probably filter signals, he mostly focused on sensing his fellow Autobots and humans.

Bee quickly grew attached to Earth, not really missing Cybertron anymore. Sure there are a lot of processes and it’s different for everyone but Autobots felt that they can actually live again ( or begin living for younger bots who were forged during the war), the future seemed bright.

When Spike got older ( around 18 yo) he informed Bumblebee that he will leave Detroit for a university opportunity. The news saddened the scout, not wanting to part with his human friend, but he understands that he shouldn’t be in the way of Spike’s hopes and dreams. Out of curiosity, he asks Spike what he’s gonna study ( he had multiple guesses because Spike liked a lot of things).To that Spike replied with the biggest smiles that he will become an astrophysicist! Spike never could choose one thing, but that fateful day when Autobots arrived has sealed the deal. He hoped that he would work at NASA one day. They both laugh.

The day when Spike was leaving, along with his father, they said goodbye. Spike promised to stay in contact with Bee, and the bot promised the same. Kilometers apart won’t matter, they will always remain best friends forever.

Bumblebee missed Spike greatly after this and he needed time to accept this, but thankfully they both were true to their promise and stayed in contact for all years to come.

Fast forward to 2018.

This is when the story would begin, as all previous events described in this document to this point would be revealed through flashbacks and such.

Autobots have been living in peace for 33 years now. They helped humans to progress, technologically, and socially ( Solarpunk setting). They are integrated into society and have jobs( Bee for example is a courier, though sometimes he acts as a diplomat at important meetings that he attends with Prime as humans tend to like him), some bots scattered across the globe to do their thing (though they ofc course pay visits to Ark).

The Ark is part of a big overgrown forest on Belle Isle. It is because Wheeljack and Perceptor wanted to fix the damage they did to the environment during their crush. And after some experimentation, trial, and error they made some sort of serum that stimulates trees to grow fast. Too fast even as plants got out of hand at one point, so they had to fix this as well.

Bumblebee took a liking of plants, so he started his own collection. This private chamber was damaged and has a missing wall after the crash, later it was fixed, it expanded a bit and has a lot of light coming in through windows so it’s perfect for plants keeping.

6 years ago he and Windblade befriended human Sari Sumdac, who is now 30 years old head engineer, working at Sumdac Systems along with her father. She's an absolute gremlin and always up to shenanigans, which awakes the gremlin side of Bee. Windblade tags along as well, maybe to keep an eye on them. All three are close friends :3

Sari builds an exosuit that improves her strength and grats a lot of cool abilities ( aka Iron Man but cooler) in case Decepticons show up.

He’s also in contact (which thanks to the internet became much easier) and friends with Spike, who is 48 years old astrophysicist at NASA, married to Carly, and has adopted son Daniel. Spike with his family visits Detroit each year to hang out with Autobots.

There is a lot of shenanigans happening on Ark, especially in group chat ( aka Discord server? with Sari and Spike invited.) The higher command are mods, but sure, Jazz loves changing channels names into something stupid :D

There are always twins ( Sideswipe and Suntreaker) with pranks, Jazz blasting music, Wheeljack blowing himself up again while Ratchet complains, fixing him again and again. They would do a lot of activities when free, (imagine them playing Among Us, Bumblebee being such a good imposter >:3) adopting human customs, they even get invited sometimes to entertainment shows ( you know, like those with two teams they have to do various impressions, etc).

The Bee loves music and got into drumming ( he had a habit of focusing on someones’ sparkpulse, using it as a base beat and used his hands to drum on various surfaces as entertainment back on Cybertron), he always does collabs with Windblade ( electro guitar), Sari ( keyboard + other electronic stuff, like a theremin) and sometimes Spike ( saxophone) to do video game music covers, they have a channel ( editing video and maintaining are on Jazz).

Fun fact: Bee’s drumkit and Blade’s guitar are one of few things of cultural value that actually survived the war, though they required repairment and some adjustments ( because the kit was too big for Bumblebee), they are in good condition now. There is writing on Cybertronian, showing the name of the company that used to produce instruments all those million years ago.

Autobots are living their best life, even though they are prepared in case Decepticons will show up at their doorway.

The arrival of Decepticons.

Decepticons left Cybertron soon after Autobot’s, as Megatron believed that Optimus stole the AllSpark and was determined to take it back and use it to fix their broken homeworlds. Unlike Ark, their spaceship, Nemesis, was in [perfect condition. so they traveled from star to star in order to find a signal from AllSpark.

The problem was that no matter how Shockwave updated the scanning system, they just couldn't find any traces. It was frustrating to Megatron, he could feel how much energy this object radiated every time he walked into the Chamber of Creation, but there was literally nothing. It couldn't just vanish into thin air, can it?

So they just kept guessing, checking every nearby star system. It took a lot of time and was fruitless and the Decepticons grew tired. Starscream especially, always dreamed about taking Megatron’s place and rule Decepticons. So one day, after another failure to locate the AllSpark, Megatron and Starscream broke into a fight, resulting in the warlord throwing his second in command at the control panel by accident.

Starscream face planted random coordinations and the Nemesis warp jumped to the Solar System, placing them on Earth’s orbit. Sunday scanners activated as they found Autobots’ signatures on this planet. Megatron laughs, he finally found Optimus so the AllSpark must be with them.

Soon they landed somewhere outside of Detroit, which didn't go unnoticed. Teletraan-1 alerts Autobots immediately. Bumblebee volunteers to investigate, followed by Windblade as a backup. Optimus approves the mission and the trio goes to Nemesis location.

Bee gets close to Nemesis, while Blade stays in the air just in case her friend needs a quick escape. He knows the plans of the ship well ( he infiltrated it a number of times), so he easily slips through the guards inside, into the vents. Soon he locates Megatron and carefully listens. He finds out about Megatron's intention to seize the AllSpark from Autobots. Looks like it's the only reason why they even came here and he will turn the city apart to get it.

Thankfully Wheeljack made a force field that won't let Decepticons in as a precaution for years ago. Still, that is a grim sign and they have to deal with Deceptions regardless.

Bumblebee hacks into their system and quickly downloads important intel.

Then he sees Shockwave, it takes a lot of self-control to not hiss, Megatron just gives him simple orders to oversee something. He takes orders and leaves, but Bumblebee notices that he went in a completely different direction ( as Bee knows the ship well) and didn't like it. Bee wants to follow and see what this mad scientist is planning, but he senses Ravage nearby. The cat is also moving quickly through vents, probably because Soundwave ejected him here in case Bumblebee will show up.

The scout quickly gets out beforeRavage discovers him and leaves. On the way back he shares his findings with Windblade, and later back on Ark with the high command of Autobots. They don't have the AllSpark (and even if they had they wouldn't give it to Megatron anyway), and they must drive Decepticons off the planet, or convince Megatron to stop.

So after this, I imagine a few instances when Decepticons tried to attack the city ( but couldn't get it), Autobots would usually lure them away from the city and fight them there. Here examples of shenanigans that happened:

Sudden dance off, the seeker trio( Starscream, Thundercracker, and Skywarp) was really confused about this shit;

Sari ( in her suit) is legit disassembling Decepticons in the mid-fight. Imagine, Starscream wants to shoot, but his null rays fall off, awkward;

She also stole t-cog ( the detail responsible for transformation) from Blitzwing, much later it was returned;

Devastator caught Bumblebee and was going to quash the scout. Bee on the other hand focused on Devastator’s sparks ( he’s a combiner, made out of 6 Decepticons known as Constructicons) by accident and could hear that chaos that is happening in Devastator’s mine ( since all 6 don't merge into one, they still present chatter, telling Devastator what to do which is pure chaos). That overwhelms him and he yells “QUIET”, silencing 6 six constructions which seriously freaks Devastator out and he falls apart. Much later he did the same trick again when tried to throw Devastator at Autobots again;

Optimus is trying to convince Megatron that they don't have the AllSpark which isn't working. Not letting his frustration get ahead of him, Prime starts throwing memes( which he carefully chose for a specific situation) at Megatron. Megatron is not amused ahah).

Megatron wants to move forward and maybe to take on other cities to force Prime to surrender, but Autobots are one step ahead( as they planned), surrounding Nemesis from various positions ( as Optimus called all other Autobots that live in different locations) to harass Deceptions from time to time, trapping their enemies effectively.

Conspiring with cassettes.

Later Autobots find out that despite the force field being up, and effectively repelling Deceptions, Soundwave’s cassettes are actually able to squeeze through. Wheeljack is hypothesizing it’s probably because of their size ( they are smaller than Bumblebee as intended) and looking for a solution to solve this.

Interestingly enough, cassettes ( 5 of them: Ravage, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, and twins: Frenzy and Rumble) are not causing chaos while being out in the city. Bumblebee is keeping an eye on them, he can easily track them down, though they move fast which turns into some sort of game. At some point, he actually exchanges words with Ravage. Bee is trying to understand cassette's motives, but Ravage keeps it to himself ( though Bee senses some sort of enjoyment instead of malice).

Later Bumblebee gets a message from Rumble: they have a bomb and will blow up something ( I haven't decided sorry) if Bumblebee won't come to them alone. Knowing this is turned into a fight, he goes anyway without telling anybody as he wants to get to the bottom of this.

This indeed turns into a fight, as cassettes demand Bee to tell them where the AllSpark is. Bee tells them he has no idea like anyone else. Ravage asks why Bumblebee doesn't want to restore Cybertron, to which Bee replies that there is literally nothing left to restore. The AllSpark isn't some sort of magical object that can fix all their problems. Besides, Decepticons had it in control, why didn't they use it then? The situation gets really awkward after this, Frenzy admits that Megatron saw devastation only after Autobots left as his focus shifted to other things after his enemies were gone.

The fight stops, Bumblebee seizes the moment and asks where is the bomb they threatened him with earlier. Laserbeak just casually shows it, and in fact, it wasn't even activated. Rumble tells him when Megatron found out that cassettes and slip through the barrier, he ordered Soundwave to use the bomb to cause chaos. This isn't really what cassettes want to do, because finally in a million years they can actually roam free and explore new locations and things safe from Megaton.

Cassettes admit that they aren't really loyal to their leader, only participating in war because their caretaker, Soundwave, was loyal to Megaton...though his loyal shifted and now his loyalty revolves around keeping his cassettes safe because Megatron won't be nice if he finds out. So he keeps up his appearances, while he lets his cassettes roam free.

Bumblebee understands that situation is complicated, but he sees this as an opportunity to end this stupid war. After all, Soundwave is highly regarded by Megatron, so maybe he can work with this.

Buzzsaw thought asks what they are gonna do now as they failed the task, which is quickly decided to shift all blame onto Bumblebee, even for future situations like this as Bee revealed that he can sense from far away from anyone. Ravage realized it’s the reason why he and others were never able to catch him! So after this being decided they went back and Bee returned to Ark, sharing this only with Sari, Windblade, and Optimus Prime for security reasons, he doesn't want to blow cassettes cover by accident.

Infiltrating Nemesis again.

Bumblebee isn't having a good time. He gets forced into reboot more frequently than it used to, especially during battles with Decepticons. Autobots had to save him multiple times, which was a blow to his self-esteem. Not to mention Sunstreaker was at him again, insulting the scout. Bumblebee yelled at him in return ( something that never happened before), he gets angrier and more frustrated. His best friends are doing their best to help, but there is little they can do.

Ratchet examined him and scanners show that the spark shell is losing its integrity, as it wears off over time. That explained why so many reboots happened recently. He says that Bumblebee shouldn't go on the missions at all, and Optimus agrees with this. Bee doesn't take it well, believing they think he’s now being useless to them, and storms off.

Then he sneaks out at night, planning to infiltrate the Nemesis again with two purposes: to prove that he is still useful to Autobots and to find out what Shockwave is up to ( it still bothers him a lot).

He sneaks in like usual and at first, it was okay, but then the vent under him broke ( yeah those vents are worn off over so many years too) and he fell right before the Seeker Trio. So the chase begins, Bee still can get away and he knows the ship but suddenly an unfortunate thing happens - his spark malfunction again and sends him into forced reboot.

Next time he awakens, he’s being restrained on some sort of medical table, which Bee quickly recognizes where he is - in Shockwave quarters. That sends terror to his spark, not only he’s been caught and Autobots don't know where he is, but he’s at mercy of the mad scientist.

He tried to break free, but it’s useless, he never had much strength anyway. He looks around, and among his various projects, he sees something like a spire blueprint projected on the screen. It seems like it’s part of Nemesis. He doesn't like this at all.

Shockwave enters the rooms, carrying various tools with him. Bee asks what he’s gonna do with him. The scientist doesn't reply first as he runs the scanner over Bee’s entire body ( while he’s changing the project on his scene meanwhile), it detects something in Bee’s spark chamber.

Bee asks why Shockwaves keeps doing this,( like his sick experiments that even Megatron did not approve of). To this, the scientist replies that this war is going way too long and it will never end. So he decided to have a little fun while he can, he wants to relish in chaos and see the world burn.

He says that Bumblebee is carrying something interesting inside and he wants to find it. Shockwave activates his cutting tool and gets closer, intending to cut Bumblebee open.

Thankfully, salvation comes in an unusual form, Soundwave enters the room and demands to hand Bumblebee to him. Shockwave is not amused and refuses, so both argue until Shockwave gets an order directly from Megatron because the warlord wants Soundwave to dig intel out of elusive Autobot scout. After that, Shockwave can do whatever he wants with the prisoner.

Bee sighs with relief as he is escorted to Soundwave quarters. He doesn't make an attempt to escape, he can't really run away with a stasis cuff one + hr wants to get more insight on the Communication Officer. Maybe Soundwave knows what Shockwave is planning.

When they arrive, Bumblebee gets fully restrained again, and he’s mind gets connected to Soundwave’s systems ( via a cord) to start digging thought Bee’s mind ( if I remember correctly, Soundwave can read minds and emotions bc he can sense electric impulses in the processor or brain, he using cord here bc he wants to do deeper).

Bee is pretty calm about this, he doesn't carry any useful intel ( he usually drops it at Teletraan-1 when he completes the duty). So Soundwave is stuck with casual memories while looking for any indication of the AllSpark, though he comments on Bee's good drumming skills.

Meanwhile, Ravage self-ejects from Soundwave’s chest and be like “dude seriously how the fuck did you get caught?? what are you doing even?”. Bee asks if they know anything about Shockwave’s plans. Such a question surprises both Decepticons, Bee understands that they don't know anything. Ravage doesn't like the sound of this and asks Bee to elaborate, but before he can answer, the scout looks to the side, sensing Megatron is coming in this direction.

Ravage quickly transforms and tucks himself back into Soundwave’s cassette deck. In a minute, the warlord himself entered the room. He is pleased to see Soundwave already working on the task, while he turns to Bumblebee to take a good look at him as he never has seen the scout, who ruined a lot of his plans, up close - Bee would always be in the distance or lingering on the corners of Megatron’s optics before vanishing out of sight.

Megatron is acting pretty smug as a big nuisance in his grasp, though he admits he feels like he saw Bee’s face somewhere ( same reaction as Prime). He starts monologuing about how it would be great if Bumblebee would join him, they would win this war quickly. Maybe the little scout would convince Optimus Prime to join them, to which Bee asked if Megatron is still salty about Optimus breaking up with him.

That quickly pisses Megatron off, he grabs scout's neck and pins him heavily on the table, saying that he should watch his mouth. Bee isn't having this, replying ( as much as he can with his throat squeezed) that Megatron is an insolent fool who only focuses to keep Starscream on a leash, while Shockwave is plotting under his nose.

Megatron would probably hurt Bumblebee after this, but Sundewave reminded his leader that he’s still working and needs the scout in pieces. Megatron gives the order to continue, while he leaves. Both Bee and Soundwave sigh in relief, the latter commenting that the scout should keep it down in Megatron’s presence, to which Bee replies that someone had to say this.

Soundwave soon stumbles upon the Vector Sigma seal, locking the rest of Bumblebee’s memories. Soundwave asks Bee about this, to which the scout gives him the honest answer - he doesn't know how it got there and it’s been there already when he “first” woke up. Bumblebee asks if Soundwave can break it. The communication officer makes a few attempts, but it doesn't affect the seal at all. They need Victory Sigma, but it’s gone.

Bee expressed his frustration because he felt like the answer lies beneath it, but he said that he will find a way to stop Megatron. Soundwave replies that it’s impossible, but Bee doesn't buy this, he noticed the other reaction and it was hopeful.

Bumblebee also notices multiple sparkpulses inside Soundwave, his cassettes, but only 5 of them are active, while there are many more of them, and those cassettes are being stasis. Bee asks Soundwave how long they’ve been asleep. Soundwave pauses, not expecting that question, and they reply that they have been in stasis since the beginning of the war.

Bee now understands, Soundwave has been working hard for Megatron, wanting to end the war as quickly as possible ( that was a motivation for a lot of Decepticons as Bee found out when they reached out for him), while sparing most of his cassette the trauma.

They sat in silence for a minute before Megatron contacted Soundwave, demanding his presence somewhere while ordering to leave a cassette to guard the prisoner. Soundwave sits for another minute, communicating with these cassettes, then ejects Ravage and leaves the room.

Ravage stands still, listening to the environment and making sure the coast is clear, then tells Bumblebee “you broke out using shock bombs, understood?” and releases the scout. Bee quickly gets up, thanking the cat. To that Ravage says “Go left now, I’ll give you ten seconds”. Bee nods and runs out of the room.

After ten seconds the alarms burst on, informing that the prisoner had escaped. For convenience, Bee uses a few shock bombs he has with him as Decepticons try to stop him.

He gets out, though he’s also pretty beaten up and it takes hours for him to get back to Ark ( he couldn't transform). He collapses then he crosses the entrance.

When Bee awakens, he’s on a medical table. His body is fixed, though Ratchet gave the minibot an earful of lecture for defying his recommendations and now Bee’s spark shell is even more strained. Prime also talks to Bee, reassuring the scout that no, Optimus and other Autobots don’t see him as burned and he doesn't have to go to such lengths to prove himself ( those conversations happened often back on Cybertron).

Bee doesn't reply, yet the give into he gathered when he was stuck on Nemesis.

Soon after this, Bee actually gets to talk with Sunstreaker to resolve their issue. The taller Autobot admits that he’s been projecting a lot because he used to be like Bumblebee when he was younger. Then he was envious because, despite everything, Bee remains kinds and hopeful. The scout tells him it takes a lot of work to keep being him after all those tragedies he had witnessed. Sunstreaker nods, though he still doesn't understand who Bee can easily move on after leaving Cybertron, it was their home after all.

Bumblebee simply said that Cyberton didn’t feel like home, but prison.

And then the shit gets real!

Optimus decided to take another chance to negotiate peace with Megatron. They gathered near Nemesis, both Autobots and Decepticons just chilling (some interacting, like cassettes hanging out with Bee-Blade-Sari trio) while their leaders were negotiating.

At first there heated arguments between the two leaders, Megatron acting like Optimus is the one being unreasonable and trying to blame him, while Optimus being like “listen you started this shit, you have no one to blame but yourself” (more politely of course). Soon, they both calmed down and actually made progress, as Megatron noticed that a lot of Decepticons are being distracted by various Earthian things because it’s all new in a million years.

Before they could proclaim anything, Shockwave appeared. Bee tenses instantly, this can't be good. I haven't decided if Shockwave would monologue or not, but the end is the same - he shoots Bumblebee in the chest.

Before anyone can react, Shockwave snatches the minibot and lifts him to his level, taking a closer look at the wound. The shoot wasn't direct, but tangential - it made a hole in the chest and partly chipped away the protective shell, leaving Bee’s spark partly exposed.

The energy is pulsing through the hole now( while Bee’s pulse gets completely haywire as he tries to free himself), the signature, and the effect is unmistakable - this is the AllSpark. The amount of shock is impossible to describe, after all, Bee was carrying the AllSpark within himself and no one had an idea. Even Shockwave did not expect THAT!

Megatron is being evil smug again, now the AllSpark within his grasp! Except Shockwave has other plans. Instead, he activates his device, which was built into Nemesis. This spire was designed to fuck over all lifeforms on this planet ( including cybertronians), and with AllSpark his plan to cause massive chaos gets perfect as the AllSpark not only creates but also destroys.

As he was about to rip the AllSpark out of Bee’s body, this system got overwhelmed, but instead of rebooting, his body discharged the energy, creating a big wave that threw everyone away.

Bumblebee meanwhile is screaming in pain ( the AllSpark is slowly breaking him apart) and a surge of painful memories ( the wave broke the seal). Not to mention he’s surrounded and pretty sure he might die, if he wants to get through this - he must become stronger to protect himself.

That thought activates the interface, the Vector Sigma interface. It already had something set up there. Bee can’t really see what it is, something about protective armor(?), he confirms it, the interface turned into a small cell that absorbed a portion of AllSpark energy. Then, as if he knows what to do, he slams the cell into the ground.

For a moment nothing happened, then suddenly a huge amount of plant-like-black vine material burst from the ground. Everyone instantly got into their sense after that blast, now witnessing those vines connecting to Bee’s chest and the AllSpark, lifting him off the ground and begin forming something BIG.

Decepticons are trying to shoot those vines, but hey, they re heat resistant quickly grow back :) Autobots are trying to contact the scout, but his comm is dead, Windblade cannot get into him minds as it’s filled with so many negative emotions like rage, grief, desperation, depression. Said emotions also floored Soundwave, making him unable to move.

Soon Bumblebee ( or more like the huge shell that was growing around him) formed into a big, dragon-like creature, who leats out of deafening roar at AllSpark energy shoots everywhere. An he’s so angry that everyone around him can feel it in their sparks.

This is how he looks, he’s strong enough to throw big cybertronians around like chew toys. Bumblebee’s body is cocooned in the chest area, the light from the AllSpark shines through crevasses.

Despite being angry, he doesn’t attack first and Optimus could have reasoned with him, but Megatron decided it was a good idea to attack the bigger monster and this is when the shit gets loose.

Bumblebee trashes around, causing chaos around him, sometimes targeting someone and going after them for a few moments. All this is followed by energy discharges, so he successfully beats the shit out of everyone.

Shockwave is the only one who is pleased with surprise results, as he tried to collect data.

Soon Windblade manages to get a hold of her best friend’s mind and he tries to calm Bee down. He slows down a bit, which opens an opportunity for Sari to get inside thought crevasses and try to locate him.

She follows the opposite direction from energy flow, and soon she finds him. His face is a mix of anger and fear, Sari starts talking, trying to draw his attention to her. Soon enough he notices her ( the beast stops moving).

Bee tells her that he’s scared and he’s in pain. His body cracks more because even this large shall not contain all the power of the AllSpark. She hugs his head, telling that they will figure this out, but first hee need to stop thrashing around, he’s hurting everyone.

Meanwhile, Windblade does the same, using telepathy to talk to him. It worked and they always convinced him to just fly towards the Ark, but Shockwave wasn’t having that, and started shooting at Bumblebee, trying to provoke him. Bee is sort of back to his senses, seeing Shockwave again, angers him to the point that this anger throws Windblade out of his mind. Sari is alright, but the expressions on Bee’s face terrified her.

Bees run and pines Shockwave to the ground. Suddenly he speaks ( his voice sounds very distorted when it comes from the beast) telling him in space that Shockwave is the one who destroyed Cybertron and left them homeless. the mad scientist chuckles, commenting that this means his “pet project” had worked and he regrets nothing.

Bumblebee executes Shockwave without mercy.

After Bumblebee flies up heads towards the Ark, Windblade flies after him, while Optimus uses this moment to gather Autobots and get the hell out of there. Sari tells him over comms that Bee is breaking, so he asks Ratchet to drive ahead and help Bumblebee.

Bee meanwhile is almost there, but his body cannot take this anymore. The chest opens up and Bumblebee with Sari falls out of the monster( then the husk falls down and lands right by the entrance of Ark). They both fall for a few seconds before the AllSpark shatters into small pieces and they fly in different directions. Windblade caught them both, both saw what happened and got really scared that Bee might be dead.

There is small light coming from his exposed spark chamber, so Blade rushes to the medical bay, while frantically explaining to Ratchet ( who is on the way) what just happened. He instructs them to stabilize Bumblebee, enforcing he gets in and takes over.

Ratchet barely managed to save Bee’s life. After that, it took a lot of time to put the minibot together ( between all other urgent repairs of other Autobots that got fucked up by Bee’s outrage). Now, when the danger has passed, Ratchet can get a better look at scout’s sparks chamber that was hidden under the shell. Said shell was crumbled, he had to remove it. Then tells others what he’s discovered:

First, his spark still hosts a few AllSpark shards. He tried to remove it but it turned out that Bee’s spark IS merged with the AllSpark. His system even pings errors about missing components. This is ironic because it made sense that the AllSpark was causing erratic sparkpulses, but yet they cant separated it from him;

Second, he discovered that Bee also has Vector Sigma installed in his spark chamber, this is exactly those missing components from the broken device;

Third, now there is a plant ( it looks exactly like that vine from earlier) parasite residing in Bee’s body, it appears to be feeding on AllSpark energy. Ratchet tried to remove it, it slapped him on the face. It resists and refuses to come off.

It raises so many questions, of how and why Bee got both AllSpark AND Vector Sigma. There was a suggestion that Bee could steal, or maybe all of this was some sick experiment that Shockwave did, though now they won’t know with the mad scientist dead. Windblade feels that she was involved in this, but still has no idea how.

She still cannot stop thinking about what she saw in Bee’s mindspace during the rampage. He was overwhelmed by grief, sadness, pain, guilt and all of this he merged into anger. And that he carried this angger for a really long time, longer that any of them can imagine. Ratchet is sure that Bee cannot be older, but who knows. Perhaps Bumblebee had a different body in the past that was destroyed.

After a week Bee wakes up. Of course, he’s being hugged by Blade and Sari, everyone sighed with relief. Optimus asks if Bee remembers anything from the meeting. The scout thinks for a moment. He remembers being shot, he remembers paint and panic and anger, he definitely remembers killing Shockwave. He doesn’t know who to feel about it.

He also informed him about a plant parasite. Bee is surprised, but he feels fine for far.

He’s upset when he learns that he beat everyone up and proceeds to apologize before every Autobot that was involved in this. He also sees his discarded husk outside of the Ark, which is examined by Wheeljack and Perceptor ( and wondering if human culture influenced Bee to make this creature look like one of the monsters from his video games).

He doesn’t have any recollection of making it, though this form seems familiar...probably he saw that dragon in a video game...probably.

Bee walks around the island to clear his head, being joined by Sari and Windblade. He admits that he is partly scared that he killed Shockwave like this...but on hand, he’s relieved that this guy is gone and Earth is safe for now.

The scout also tells them that he remembered something during that fight that he could remember before. He tried again, but now it feels like his memories are scattered - they are there, but out of reach.

To see what’s going on, Windblade uses her abilities to get into Bee’s mind. She sees that the Vector Sigma seal is gone ( tho her own is still active), but now all those memories that were locked are either missing or corrupted. Even those that weren’t locked are broken. She hypothesized that the AllSpark shattering damaged his data banks, taking the portion of memories with shards.

That is just another reason why they must collect the shards.

Good thing that Bee can sense the shards, most of them landed in the city, but some landed outside, even near Nemesis which isn’t good. Later they come back and inform Prime about this and the high command starts formulating the plans of retrieving shards.

Meanwhile Wheeljack, Ratchet, and Sari brainstorm ideas of how to prevent the AllSpark from harming Bumblebee. The plant is absorbing the portion of energy, but it’s clear he still needs a shell. Sari tells them that Sumdac Systems will provide resources for the project.

Collecting the shards.

In general, the collecting of shards will go smoothly for most of the time, since most shards landed in the city. Some they found just laying in the bushes or roofs, some were handled by humans, some were even sent by mail. As new shards rejoin Bumblebee, Windblade helps him to restore his recent memories, while they still need to complete AllSpark to get access to previously locked memories.

Ratchet also keeps in check Bee’s health as new shards are added, and gradually builds a shell around the spark chamber, minding the plant.

So, few thing that happened during this time frame in no particular order:

Starscream got his hands onto one of the shards and caused chaos to both Decepticons and Autobots, he can even use it to get through the force field around the city;

Bumblebee created Grimlock, using an awesome t-rex animatronic as a base;

Thundercracker leaving Decepticons, thought he didn't go to Autobots either. He talks with Windbladem admitting that it was terrifying to see someone like Bumblebee so hurt ( he’s referring to that dragon accident) because of the war;

Discovering that the plant, living inside Bee is actually a symbiont - it protects its host when Bee is in danger, even helping him to lift a weight that Bee couldn't before ( though his body hurts a lot after this). Sari names it Clover ( in fact she did it with all Bee’s plants);

When the last shard is gathered, Ratchet doesnt final touches to the shell. He doesn't completely seal it away, letting it’s potions flow through Bumblebee’s body. This should reduce chances of forced reboot, thought they still might happen.

After this, Bumblebee secludes himself in his room, wanting to sort through all his memories, as those old one now finally accessible. After a few days he asks Windblade to come, He removes her Vector Sigma seal, and they talk through all those events.

Soon Bumblebee requests Autobots together ( who can come, if someone can't, then they will be sent the recorded version of this) in front of Ark ( where the husk is) because there is something that everyone must know. He also asks Soundwave to send Laserbeak to the meeting, so she can record this conversation and present it to other Decepticons, Megatron included. Soundwave obliges, sending Bee his regards.

The truth behind the AllSpark.

Now with all his memories intact, Bumblebee reveals that he’s not the guardian or an weird experiment involving the AllSpark, but he IS the AllSpark.

That one thing was enough to shock everyone( accepts Windblade). At first they thought that technically yes, bc Bee’s spark fused the AllSpark, but Bee elaborates that he was created by Primus billions years ago. Windblade confirmed it, as she knows the truth already.

To clear the confusion, Bumblebee starts from the beginning.

Primus was wandering around the Universe. Like any giant with planet alt-form, he had one desire - to create and host a life. While he could easily transform, create a new life, and then fall into eternal slumber, Primus wanted to leave someone in charge. Thus he created the AllSpark - a powerful transformer who can create, destroy and maintain life on the planet.

This person is Bumblebee, with a dragon-like altform, that looked almost exactly like that husk that now is resting in front of Ark.

Before Bee proceeded to his duties, he and Primus traveled around the Universe. Primus was teaching Bumblebee about life, about conditions required for life to exist, about material and what kind of life he can make. They visited planets, filled with various life forms: organic, silicone, energoinds and even other mechanical lifeforms.

Bee was observing living beings, learning about how they build, how they function, how they interact.

When the training was finished and Bee was ready, they traveled to a lone orange dwarf star(class K). Primus transformed and placed himself onto orbit. After this Bumblebee created the first cybertronian life.

In thousands of years he filled the planets with divine ecosystems, with various biomes and huge species diversities and even first sentient beings. For most of the time he left anything for natural selection, while keeping a close eye on it in case something appears that will threaten life on the planet. In this case, by his protocols, he must kill that being in order to preserve balance.

He admits, while he loved his job and enjoyed creating, he was lonely. Primus advised against forming a relationship with his creations because he thought that Bumblebee’s powers could be misused in this case, for example getting involved in conflict where he could be persuaded to insta-kill someone.

So he stayed out, but it hurt and he longed for companionship more than anything, which led to frustration and even anger at his creator for leaving alone for eternity.

Still, Bumblebee endured this and continued his work.

Peace lasted for a long time ( if you don't think of the wars that were waged between clans from time to time), until Quintessons began their invasion on Cybertron. At first they couldn't set their tentacles there as Bee was such a fierce protector, but much later they figured out to send drones to fight instead. That posed a problem for Bumblebee because yes, he can easily kill a living being, but cannot kill what isn't alive in the first place.

Bumblebee held endless hordes of drones for a long time, but eventually he was overwhelmed by numbers ( he was fighting alone, as cybertronians back there were no match to Quinesson’s forces) and killed.

Cybertron fell to Quintessons and everyone was enslaved.

Then Quintessons salvaged his spark( The AllSpark) and few more components to use the power of creation to create even more slaves. At first they couldn't use AllSpark, because it has quantuum properties. It creates endless possibilities, but none of their devices has enough strong sensors to set those possibilities, making them real.

Lucky for them, the components they got from Bumblebee’s dead body were connected to the AllSpark, with them Quintessons created Vector Sigma, a device that allows manipulation of the AllSpark.

They kept creating slayes, while completely ignoring anything else and soon all those diverse ecosystems that Bee made collapsed. The rain turned into acid, rust was crawling everywhere as Quintessons kept draining resources of the planet, while they tried to erase everything about Primus and AllSpark from cybetronian’s culture. While cybertronians still remembered Primus, the AllSpark was forgotten.

Hearing this was disturbing, considering the fact that after cybertronians liberated themselves from Quinesson’s tyranny - they kept using Vector Sigma for forging new bots.

Bumblebee wasn't too angry about this, they simply didn't know. Then he gets asked if he was killed, how Bumblebee is still here?

Short answer is they only destroyed his body. To explain this, Bumblebee reminds everyone how sparks work. Sparks are the lifeforce of every living being, but for sentient beings it also serves like a second brain/processor to process the emotion response.

But in Bumblebee’s case it’s the other way around: his spark is the main processor, while the head processor is for emotional response and processing the info from sensors. Primus made him like this in case Bumblebee's gonna get killed at some point so he could rebuild himself.

Sadly, because they quickly salvaged him, removing both his spark and components that we connected to it and separating them - that made rebuilding impossible.

And because of his spark’s quantuum nature, Bumblebee’s consciousness was locked in a quantum state, making him both existing and not existing at the same time.

He could only watch what’s happening. He was grieving over his work being destroyed, his creations being enslaved and potentially being forever stuck in quantuum sea, not able to interact with the real world again.

The time went by, and eventually, cybertronians livetred themself from Quintessons and it marked the beginning of the Golden Age. Bumblebee was lingering, watching this happen. He was a bit happier after this, despite the fact that society was locked in functionalism( when both's place in society is defined by their alt form. Like a jet could only serve in the army) - a leftover from Quintesson tyraty. Still, it was better than Quintessons!

Bumblebee continues lingering, sometimes he floats in the form of a random bot and asks if they can see him. Usually it never works, but one day, one bot was able to hear him. Bee was ecstatic about this, finally he could talk to someone ( even though his talking was mere whisper as he forgot how his own voice used to sound). He introduced himself as Bumblebee ( it was one of many names that was given to him by his creations during ancient times that he liked a lot).

Bee thought maybe he could tell someone the truth about AllSpark origin and maybe that would help him to get back to the real world, but sadly none of his attempts were successful. Some don't believe him, some did but were punished by strict government. Additionally as Bee realised that only those who can psychic abilities can hear him. And those bots are extremely rare.

Still, Bumblebee wasn't losing hope, and kept trying ( though he was being more thoughtful about getting his friend in trouble).

At some point, another big event happened - a gladiator named Megatron, with his partner, archivist Orion Pax ( who will later be known as Optimus Prime) created a revolution that liberated cybertronians from cages of functionalism. Now every cybertronian could be whoever they wanted, that pleased Bumblebee so much.

Not to mention now he has more chances to escape his quantuum prison, especially when a group of archaeologists has found a hidden temple that was dedicated to AllSpark - the only one that wasn't destroyed by Quintessons.

Even Megatron with Optimus came to see these fins. The most noticeable thing was the statue which archaeologists believed was the personification of AllSpark, which was an image of Bumblebee.

(That made Optimus realise why Bumblebee’s face was so familiar when he first met him. Sure the form is different, but the face remains the same( and same goes to Megatron).)

At the same time a group of scientists noticed some quantum fluctuation comic from the AllSpark and they were going to research this.

During this timeframe, Bee was really close to being found. He was really close to escaping.

But as if fate decided to fuck everyone over, things changed from best to worst.

It all started when everyone realised that Cybertron will be completely drained of resources in a few millions years. That caused the frantic search of planets where they could get them. One planet that was relatively close was found. It was rich and solved this problem...but it also hosted life.

Heated arguments began, Megatron believed that they can just go and take it, because they really needed it and they are superior to this primitive form of life on that planet. Optimus on other hand refused to harm those lifeforms, even if they are primitive, that they can look elsewhere.

Bumblebee sided with Optimus, he knew the fact that there is another system near that one, that is rich with resources they need AND also unsuitable for life. He knew it in case if he ever needed those resources he could go and get them back in the day when he was in charge here.

Bee frantically searched for someone who could hear him, so he could pass this information...but he had no luck. Soon the civil war began and it was the beginning of the end.

As war was going on, Bumblebee lost all hope. He saw destruction he hadn't seen since Quintessons invasion and Cybertron’s reasons were thinning. Soon there were no resources to make new bots.

Bumblebee tight there is nothing he can do and was saddened about upcoming doom.

Until and stumbled upon Windblade.

She was able to hear him. So they talked a lot and became close. Bee told her everything about himself, and when Blade was going to tell Optimus about Bee, he stopped her. Bumblebee was scared he's gonna be punished somehow ( it happened before in the past) but instead he has a plan, but he needs her help. She agrees, and waits until Bee is done with preparation.

Soon Bumblebee tells her about it, even a bit more urgently because he just saw Shockwave unleashing something that will kill everything and they need to get off the planet.

But first, Bumblebee needs a body. Now, when the Chamber of Creation isn't occupied anymore, Windblade sneaked inside ( Bee was carefully guiding her) the Spire, then got into the Chamber.

He instructed her to activate Vector Sigma, then managed to upload a blueprint to her data banks that she was able to upload to Vector Sigma.

Then he told her to set specific parameters, allowing the systems that were used for assembling bodies to scrap for resources. It was barely enough, still it gathered resources for a small body, compromising something like strength and armor.

Then he told her to cut open Vector Sigma and get important components - the very same components that belonged to him long ago and install them to the body's spark chamber.

The last step was taking the AllSpark, placing it in a spark chamber and sealing it in a protective shell that will suppress the AllSpark frequency.

When Windblade did all this, she waited. It was silent for a few minutes and she was anxious that the plant might not get worse...before the body powered up and for the first time in seemingly forever, Bumblebee opened his optics.

This was probably the happiest day of his life since he lost his body. He hugged Windblade, thanking her for getting him out. After adjusting and remembering how to walk to transformers, they left the Spire.

But now they had to figure out what to do. When Megatron finds out that AllSpark is gone, hell will break loose and they cannot have the AllSpark being taken again.

Bee cannot really protect himself. His body is fragile and will fall apart if he to unshesh his powers. And Decepticons like Soundwave can dig into one's mind to find out their secret. So it leads to a drastic solution - to seal any memories of him away. Blade doesn't want this, but understands it’s their only shotm so she agrees.

First they position themself near Autobot base.

Then Bumblebee activates his Vector Sigma interface, programming the seal in a specific way, so while memories are locked away, some feelings will linger. This will allow Bumblebee and Windblade to become friends again, and will also carry on the missing to make cybertronians leave the planet.

First he places the seal into Windblade’s data banks, which will activate in a few minutes and reboot her system. So it gives her time to arrive to base and be safe when memories are going to be locked away. She hugs him again before he leaves sayin “see you on the other side”.

Then he gets close to the road where Jazz soon appears, then he seales all his memories completely. The reboot happens and he falls on the ground, where next moment he’s being found by Jazz.

The rest of the story everyone knows.

Bumblebee gives free minutes for everyone to process the whole thing. It explained a lot of things: his reboots, his ability to sense sparks, that husk’s creation, pretty much everything.

So he’s being bombarded with questions, one of them was about what Shockwave did. Interestingly enough Bee never told Blade what exactly the mad scientist did. Bee tried to answer, but turned out he just cannot say this out of loud, that’s how terrible it was. Seeing the pained expression on Bumblebee’s face, everyone quickly moved on to different questions.

Another question was about Primus, because Bee made it sound like Primus was just one of many beings like him. Bumblebee reveals that in fact, Earth is also giant like Primus, and unlike his creator, she can communicate with Bee during the recharge.

So she’s asleep, but can talk to Bee when he’s asleep too. In fact he made a lot of attempts to connect, but because the AllSpark was sealed under shell, Bee could not hear her clearly. Until now.

She was asking if he can resurrect her two companions, who turned out to be Venus and Mars - two other giants that came to this system with her. Something went wrong when both transformed to planets that caused their deaths, rendering planets unsuitable to life.

Sadly, Bumblebee can only create or kill, he cannot bring the dead back. Once spark crosses the dimension and appears in the Well of All Sparks, it gets cleaned. It's a point of no return and the only direction for spark to go is forward - to it's new life.

After the meeting is over, Bee turns to Laserbeak, making sure that all this information was received by Soundwave, which she confirms. Now they can only hope for better, that this is gonna be enough to stop Megaton from his fruitless conquest.

Then he goes on another walk around the forest, thinking about his past, present and future. Despite everything, he’s glad he lived to this point. He has what he always wanted( aka companionship) and now there is a chance for everyone to thrive once again, along with humans.

The final stretch.

Of course, nothing can be that easy.

Soon after the big reveal, the entire Soundwave cassette horde( aka even those who were in stasis since the beginning of the war) arrives at the Ark’s entrance. They look terrified and begging for help. When asked what happened, Ravage told Bee that Megatron didn't take the news well when Soundwave presented that entire conversation to Decepticons.

Soundwave tried to reason with his leader, but Megatron got mad and hurt Soundwave, then he was going to hurt the cassettes as punishment, which resulted in fight and Soundwave ejecting every single one and telling them to run.

So they ran and came here, begging to save Soundwave.

This makes Bumblebee energon boil in his tubes, he’s almost jumped into his husk body to just run and tear Megatron apart, but he managed to calm himself. Optimus decided to go and deal with Megatron himself, and Bee tags along.

When they meet again with Megatron near Nemesis again, first Optimus demands to release Soundwave. Somehow they convince him to do so, and Autobots take him to Ark for repair and reunite him with cassettes.

Meanwhile Megatron demands Bumblebee to fix Cynertron, which turns into a heated argument, because there is literally nothing to fix. Bee cannot just magically undo all the damage.

In the end Bumblebee snaps, and just decides to do what he really, really didn't want to do - he wants to open the space bridge and show Megatron what is happening on Cybertron. If this won't help, he doesn't know what can.

Bumblebee warns that they might not get out alive, but Megatron agrees anyway, believing that minibot still can fix their home planet. Optimus Prime also joins, refusing to leave Bumblebee alone with Megatron.

They arrive at the Chamber of Creation and look outside ( as they are on top floor). The Spire is the only building that is still sanding, meanwhile anything else lay in ruins. Megatron is confused, he doesn't remember leaving Cynertron in such a terrible state.

Bumblebee asks them if they can see those drones. They cannot, asking what drones. He sighs, understanding they have to go to ground level and that's actually scary. Still, he activated the elevator and they went down.

At entrance they stop and now they see - countless tiny drones consuming metal, then multiplying. And their hunger knows no bounds.

Bumblebee reveals that those “Scraplets” were created by Shockwave in order to cause chaos among Autobots. But they didn't work as he intended he just threw them away. They landed near Cyberton’s core, which activated them...and they began to consume everything in sight. When Scaplets got to Cybertron lavras ( it’s like the immune system of the planet) and Bee felt their deaths, he knew the time was up and they needed to run.

Now it made sense why Bumblebee killed this mad scientist in the first place.

Megatron asks if Bumblebee can kill them, but Bee says he can only kill living beings,while those things are just sparkless drones and they will devour him quickly.

After a minute, Megatron sighs in defeat, telling Bumblebee he can take them back to Earth.

He nods and about to open a portal...then suddenly his spark is acting up again, sending a huge power surge around him. Once again he is forced into rebooting before he can open a portal.

This caught the attention of scraplets and they charged at bost. Optimus grabs Bee, and both he and Megatron start running. First they tried to make it to the elevator, but it was already being chewed.

So they were forced to take stairs. So Optimus carrying Bee, and dragging Megatron with him, Megatron is shooting from his fusion cannot, breaking shit to slow down scraplets.

When they reach the top floor, they have nowhere to run. Megatrons asks how soon Bee will be back online, which according to Optimus’s chronometers is 3 more minutes. Megatron feels that they don't have it and suddenly the entire building is rumbling.

Because it’s being eaten, it starts falling, while scraplets are seeping inside the chamber. Two bots look at each other, and do the leap of faith ( while holding onto each other and Bumblebee of course). Just before they hit infested ground, Bee suddenly wakes up and he opens a portal. All three fall into it and are transported back to Earth.

Panicked they look around for scraplets that could be transported with them, but thankfully there was none. They are safe.

Optimus is surprised that Bee woke up earlier, and the minibot himself is surprised as well. Though he quickly realised it’s because of his plants symbiont + new shell combinations - his system still gets overwhelmed, but not as drastically as before, allowing his system to recover quicker.

After this, Megatron allows Autobots to leave in peace, while he still needs to process everything he saw.

Later ( with Optimus help) he declares that war is over and that Earth is their new home, which was surprisingly received well by other Decepticons ( he told them what he saw).

Finally Bumblebee can sigh in relief, finally they can have a bright future ahead of them and he’s looking forward to it.

Trivia( aka random stuff I didn't know where to fit).

Cybertronians can breathe and it’s part of their air cooling system, as such a process allows them to quickly inhale cooler air and exhale hot air. When calm they don't actually breathe, but as soon they are scared/excited/in a fight - they start doing this;

They can also cry, and it’s also part of the cooling system. Processors and spark chambers tend to be heated more than anything and require cooling by liquid nitrogen. When strong emotional responses happen, heating goes off the charts, and because optics are so close to the head processor - there is a risk of melting them. So the liquid nitrogen gets pumped to optics as well, and because this liquid has a low boiling point - those tears take a form of gas, seeping through the space between optic and face. Older bots don't cry much because they kinda get used to horrors of the war, while younger like Bee are actually more emotional and showing it often. Even after restoring his memories fully, he’s still emotion as hell;

Bumblebee is sleepwalking sometimes, and if he sees another person he starts whispering “Can you see me?” over and over until he gets the “right” reasons which is “Yes, I can see you, Bumblebee”. After this he falls back to recharge. That scared a lot of Autobots first, they discovered the right answer when Optimus replied, thanks to his tendency to give full and polite answers. This happens because of trauma when Bee lost his body and became “non-existent” to anyone;

He used to terrify Decepticons when he infiltrated their bases to the point they thought that Bee was some sort of Autobot vengeful spirit that came to hunt them. Bumblebee used his abilities to avoid his enemies, while toying with them, like lingering at the corners of their optics before disappearing and even whispering”Can you see me?” right into their audio sensors.);

When Decepticosn arrived on Earth, Bumblebee was an anxious mess, he was afraid that Earth might die just like Cybertron did. To give himself hope and a way of coping, he remembered the legend that if you fold 1000 origami cranes, your wish will come true. He made the first crane soon after Decepticon’s arrival, and the last right before he received his last AllSpark shard. Now those cranes are everywhere on the Ark;

Spike visits Detroit at some point, but I haven't decided when. Probably when the AllSpark shattered, so he helped to restore it too;

Bumblebee has two strong phobias:

Athazagoraphobia. The fear of being forgotten, ignored, or abandoned;

Monophobia. The fear of being alone for a long time;

In future, humans figured out the way to transport their mind into their spark and then transport that spark into techno-organic bodies which ultimately extends their lifespan.

Sari was one of first humans doing this, not wanting to leave Bumblebee and Windblade;

Spike, on the other hand, decided to die of old age because he felt like he did everything he wanted and his journey reached his end. Bee was really upset about this, but let Spike go. Spike spent his last moments with Bee.

Also in the future, Bumblebee’s body gets an upgrade, restoring his original form alt-form (6 legged dragon), though it’s smaller than before, Bee used to be small and finally comfortable with this. He will also be in charge of creating new cybertronians and terraforming new planets;

This is how Bumblebee used to look like;

Here’s the statue that was discovered, that Optimus and Megatron saw before.

#my art #transformers #sparkpulse au #maccadam #bumblebee #windblade #sari sumdac #sparkpulse spoilers

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jay-the-angst-king · 3 years

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Hero Info Pages Part 2

Something I’ve always found interesting are the hero info pages for Overwatch characters. There’s a lot of details in these clips that either set up a trend that follows the hero’s character, a trend about the overarching struggles in Overwatch, or seemingly have no foundation in the lore but most certainly can be entertaining to think about how it could fit in the lore.

Part 1 can be found here.

Soldier is very straight forward, and we can see that in his Ultimate.

Tac Visor shows Soldier attacking Reaper first, then Widowmaker, then Hanzo. What I take from this is that Soldier prioritizes Talon above other criminals, and prioritizes Reaper above other members of Talon. I actually really like the composition of Reaper in front, Widow just outside of the circle, and Hanzo way off to the side, because this composition is half of why the clip is important.

For both the primary fire and the Helix Rockets, Reaper is the target. Soldier’s entire story and motivation is hunting Reaper down.

The clip for Soldier’s Biotic Field also confirms that he still has a sense of helping others and allies as he heals Tracer, Winston, and McCree. The location for all the clips is Dorado, which refers back to his cinematic, Hero, where he helped the little girl. Both of these things reinforces that Soldier is still a hero at heart even if he’s a “man on a mission” and that mission is Reyes.

Mercy’s hero info page is incomplete. That’s something to note. The clips are old clips and don’t change with updates to the game. Some abilities are not visually shown how they work. You just get a description and that’s it. For Mercy, there are no clips for her Ultimate Valkyrie, or her Resurrect ability.

With that in mind, there are still clips for her staff, blaster, and Guardian Angel which showcase other heroes.

Mercy uses Guardian Angel to fly up to Tracer, and she heals Tracer with her Caduceus Staff. When she uses left click, Tracer is attacking Reinhardt.

Now, I don’t particularly think that Angela has anything against Rein. I think this can be explained away as training or testing out new equipment because they are on Gibraltar.

However, I think that showing Roadhog rather than Reinhardt would have fit better for these clips considering that Mercy uses her Caduceus Blaster to shoot down Junkrat, a criminal.

Echo is the newest character in the game, and her hero info shows some interesting things.

Firstly, her Tri-Shot primary fire shows her attacking Tracer and Reaper. I can’t explain this as training since it’s in the same clip. Echo is not training with Reaper anytime soon.

So why is Echo attacking Tracer in this clip? Maybe it’s to show that Echo can lean one way or another depending on how she grows as a character. She is a constantly learning AI program. It can also be yet another metaphor for AI programs going rogue. Mina Liao, the scientist who made Echo, infused some of herself into Echo’s creation. Dr. Liao was also the one who created the omnics in the first place, and the omnics had gone rogue after years of mistreatment which started the Omnic Crisis.

Echo attacking both Tracer and Reaper could hint at more omnic uprising, or just another memory of the first Omnic Crisis and subsequent Omnic Uprising as seen in King’s Row.

Her Ultimate Duplicate is fascinating. From left to right, Echo is against Sigma, Doomfist, Tracer, Moira, and Roadhog.

Echo Duplicates Tracer, then shoots Roadhog for ult charge, and sticks Tracer to kill the other four. I’m not about to say that Echo dislikes Tracer. That’s just not what’s up here. Tracer is being used here because the community is very comfortable with Tracer, and Echo was new. They wanted to display this ult with someone they knew the community would understand.

That being said… What could this mean?

I think that we could read this clip as Echo accidentally killing or hurting a teammate. That would be awful and sad, but better than the second idea that Echo would sacrifice a teammate just to catch the criminals.

Her Sticky Bombs kill Sombra and Hanzo, and her Focusing Beam finishes Roadhog. This all takes place on Gibraltar, which I think helps accentuate that she’s new and learning. Route 66, where we first met her in the Reunion Cinematic, would have been a nice map to showcase her abilities, too, but they choose Gibraltar, probably to reinforce the fact that she is apart of the new Overwatch team thanks to the Recall.

Hey, Tracer, why are you shooting Zenyatta?

There’s two reasons I can place for Zenyatta being Tracer’s opponent when showcasing Tracer’s abilities. The first is the overarching theme of omnics versus humans, and that theme really permeates when shown repeatedly on King’s Row where we know Mondatta was assassinated and an Omnic Uprising occurred.

Her Ultimate only calls back to the Mondatta assassination as Tracer attaches a Pulse Bomb to Zenyatta, and it kills Widowmaker and Hanzo as well.

Widowmaker and Hanzo, you say? Widowmaker, the one who killed Mondatta, and Hanzo, another known sniper and assassin?

It seems to me that these clips are not meant to show Tracer’s allegiances, but more to continue the themes we see throughout Overwatch. These clips only hammer home the stories we already knew. A sniper killed Mondatta, a prominent speaker and activist, and King’s Row is home to omnic and human tensions.

Lucio has a whole info page about helping Overwatch, who will become his new friends. To start, Lucio uses Sound Barrier to gives shields to Tracer and Soldier.

There’s not much to say about that on its own, so let’s continue on.

Lucio uses both Crossfade and Amp It Up to heal and speed up Tracer, but he uses his Sonic Amplifier and Soundwave against Winston.

I think this is Lucio showing the Overwatch team his gear and how he can be helpful on missions with them. That would explain the full Overwatch hero cast in his clips. Lucio himself is a hero of his hometown, and we know with the upcoming Overwatch 2 that Lucio and the recalled team are buddies and working together. It makes sense that Lucio would take some time to show his new friends how his gear works.

Reinhardt is, thankfully, relatively quick to talk about.

His primary target in his clips? It’s Hanzo. Hanzo is a mercenary, an assassin, a criminal, but he’s not apart of Talon. The reason I say this is because Reinhardt is specifically attacking a criminal with no interest in Talon because Reinhardt was still working after leaving Overwatch. His work switched from fighting rogue AI and Talon to fighting regular criminals like Hanzo.

That’s doesn’t mean that he’s not going to attack Talon.

Reinhardt uses his Earth Shatter to stun Reaper, Hanzo, and Widowmaker, so he obviously will still attack Talon even if he’s no longer an Overwatch member.

Hardest thing to explain in these clips is the setting of King’s Row. Really, I think the only reason Reinhardt wasn’t placed on, say, Eichenwalde, was because Eichenwalde came out after the game’s release. So there just wasn’t a better map for Reinhardt at the time. Still, King’s Row isn’t a bad place considering that there was an omnic uprising there and Reinhardt was one of the heroes who went on that mission.

Ana... I love you, Ana, but what’s happening here? Ana’s clips are buck wild. I don’t know where to begin. I’ll add a Read More, since this is so long already.

I guess we start with Biotic Rifle. Firstly, she heals Reinhardt, and then she kills Soldier. When zoomed in, she heals Tracer, and only shoots Pharah twice, not enough to kill.

What a lot to unpack.

I think this shows that she’s good friends with Reinhardt, just as they have been for years. She is the only one of Reinhardt’s friends to apologize to him about faking her death after all. Attacking Soldier and killing him could be a sign that Ana and Soldier, though friends, do not share the same thoughts about something. My guess is that Ana thinks Soldier’s mission is too much for him, that she thinks he needs to stop before he gets himself killed. That does align with more recent releases where Ana is helping him but also checking him when Solder pushes too hard. Healing Tracer seems obvious since Ana is still a healer and Tracer is a well respected hero, but attacking Pharah is interesting. I think Ana attacking her daughter is actually a figurative way of saying that the two don’t get along. Ana doesn’t kill Pharah, just injures her, and I think this is there to show their strained relationship even though Ana still cherishes her daughter.

Much of everything after this is speculation. Like I said, Ana’s clips are wild.

Ana sleeps Zarya. Perhaps this is to show that Ana, an old soldier, is tired herself. I think targeting a younger soldier like Zarya implies that Ana thinks the fighting and wars are exhausting. Maybe this is Ana not so subtly telling the younger soldier that they need to take care of themselves, too, much like she gets on Soldier about him talking care of himself.

The Biotic Grenade is wild. She smashes the grenade at Lucio, Winston, and Roadhog to show the healing properties, but then uses it offensively against D.Va to show that Mercy can’t heal the mech. This entire clip has thrown me for a loop. I can’t particularly explain it.

Perhaps she heals Roadhog because Roadie was once a soldier in ALF, and she can not blame him or others like him who attacked omnics to defend themselves back in the day. Perhaps they might have met back then, which I think would have been interesting to explore. But then why hinder D.Va’s healing? Maybe she thinks D.Va, a 19 year old, shouldn’t be fighting on the front lines. Ana views her as a child, just like Soldier and Reaper do, and thinks that Hana shouldn’t have to fight wars for adults.

I think Mercy being the one healing D.Va is a reference to Mercy disliking how Ana uses Mercy’s research in a weapon like the Biotic Rifle. This puts them at odds with one another. On the other side, Lucio is likely there to show the amplified healing from the grenade, but maybe this also shows that Ana respects Lucio as a hero. Finally, Winston was an old friend.

Lastly, her Ultimate, Nano Boost. She Boosts Reinhardt, and Reinhardt kills McCree, Zenyatta, Tracer, and Soldier.

Ana deserves her own post at this point. Why are they attacking these four people? Ana just healed Tracer with her rifle not too long ago. For this bizarre clip, I have no reasoning, so lets see what this COULD mean.

I could explain this as Overwatch tearing itself apart. In this case, four of the five people in this fight are Overwatch members, and that only leaves Zenyatta. Maybe killing Zenyatta here is the representation of harmony and diplomacy being broken.

Perhaps this is more about Ana and Rein than it is about the opponents. Maybe Ana’s faked death made Rein incredibly upset. Maybe this clip represents Rein never letting it go. Maybe Rein, for a while, blamed Overwatch (represented by Soldier and Tracer) and Blackwatch (represented by McCree) for her death. Again, Zen’s death would represent a lack of harmony.

Overall, these are my thoughts on this set of characters. There are still over half of the cast left, and I think the remaining Talon members are next.

#Soldier 76 #jack morrison #angela ziegler #echo overwatch #lucio correia dos santos #reinhardt wilhelm #ana amari #Overwatch #overwatch meta #meta analysis

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aj-writes-here · 4 years

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Ok so this happened. I still don’t trust myself when it comes to writing nsfw things but, I think I didn’t do that bad on this one(?) Now if you excuse me, I’ll go and write a letter to hell so I can book my room because that’s where I’m going.

Heated [NSFW]

The heat was worse than any other day, and the air conditioning didn't seem to work eitherd. You were laying on the bed, switching through the channels hoping that something interesting would get you distracted from the weather.

''Are giants a myth, or did they exist at some point in time?'' The voice in the TV program spoke, you rolled your eyes.

''I'm definitely not watching that.'' You said changing the channel quickly, but a voice made you turned away from the TV.

''Were you watching porn or something?'' Levi asked with a bored glance, entering the room and walking towards the bed and laying by your side.

''How funny, did you eat a clown?'' Mocking him, you laughed at your own words.

''Tch'' He grabbed the book that was on the nightstand, and laid his back on the headboard to resume his reading.

Now the TV was just an ornament, because all you could focus on was on Levi next to you, and the damned black tank top he was wearing was not helping. The fabric was tight on his body, giving you the perfect shape of his well-worked chest, and not even speak about the way his biceps looked. His collarbone was more tempting than ever, but it was your end when he decided to set an arm behind his neck, maybe he was doing it on purpose.

By doing that, the edge of the tank top lifted a bit, and your eyes couldn't help but looking that that obvious V mark getting lost inside his pants. Damned this man, you thought to yourself, especially when you saw that.

As if the tank top was not enough, now your attention was on his gray sweatpants. It was hot as fuck, why is he wearing sweatpants? Even though you would've like to find the answer, the question disappeared from one second to another, because you could notice a different texture on his crotch, knowing immediately what it was. You took a deep breath and set your eyes back on the TV, but that lasted only a couple of seconds, because when he flexed one of his legs it became more obvious, was he doing it on purpose? With Levi, it was impossible to know.

Suddenly, the air in the room felt heavier.

''Like what you see?'' He asked switching the page, of course he knew you had your eyes on him.

''I have no idea what you're talking about.''

''Yeah, sure'' Levi kept his voice tone monotonous as his eyes were still reading the lines.

Trying not to fall to the temptation, you decided to stop switching channels on a starting movie, maybe it could be interesting and it would make you forget the heat. Not only the weather.

After ten minutes, your eyes went back to his body, noticing his crotch when he moved his leg once again. Wait a second, this bastard is not wearing underwear? Your voice echoed inside your head. Forgetting the TV again, you spoke.

''Stop teasing.'' You said, avoiding his gaze.

''I have no idea what you're talking about, brat'' He copied your words, and the commissure of his lips lifted just a bit in a triumphant expression.

''Agh, I hate you so much'' You slapped him playfully.

Was it a teasing war? There was no way to know. You tried to keep your composure, but Levi in a tank top and gray sweatpants were not being helpful, even now when you were thinking if he was wearing underwear or not. A funny scene in the movie made you huffed in amusement, but a thought amused you more, he was concentrated on his reading, and his good looking face and toned torso were just a huge distraction for you and you blamed him for that. Things should be even.

You trace your fingers slowly over his bicep, and Levi looked at you with the corner of his eye. Your hand moved from his arm to his chest, and then his stomach, sneaking under the fabric. And you could feel yourself setting on fire just by touching him.

''Oi, what are you doing?'' Levi asked when your fingers scratched his abs, his expression was serious and annoyed. But of course he was everything but annoyed.

''Distracting you just like you distract me'' You said, moving closer to him, hand on his chest while your lips were now kissing his neck.

''Tch, I'm not distracting you'' His eyes were stilled on the book, but at the moment your mouth touched his neck he knew he had lost.

''Yes you are'' Your kisses were slow, bitting him softly. Your hand traveled from his torso to his thigh, and you could feel him tensing under your touch.

''It's not my fault that you can't keep your hands to yourself''

''With you dressing like that, it's impossible'' You said without stop your ministration on his neck. ''Besides,'' Moving your hand from his thigh to his crotch, you confirmed your early suspicion by pressing his semi-hard cock over the sweatpants ''It seems you were waiting for me to fall, weren't you'' You smiled without stop touching him.

''Maybe I was'' He confessed.

Levi was a tease, and when he wanted something like that he was not going to ask for it, so he knew that it was going to happen if he teased you in that way. He placed the book back on the nightstand and his hand went back to the back of his neck, enjoying your actions.

Your lips met his, a slow but deep and needed kiss. Tongues tangling together with no shame, his free hand cupping your cheek and then moving to your neck. Your hand got inside his sweatpants so you could grab his cock in your hand and start moving it up and down around his length. Levi hummed with his throat at the feeling, tightening the grip of his hand on the side of your neck. You could feel him getting hard in your hand, smiling over his lips when you drifted apart to get some air so you could kiss him again. He wanted to touch you, all of you. To roam your hands over your body, to make you squirm under his touch, but for now, he was enjoying your ministrations. You slide a finger along one of his veins just to tease him a bit, since right after you kept stroking him.

Fastly you got rid of your shirt, exposing your bare breasts to Levi and you could hear him saying he wasn't the only one without underwear, but instead, he just used two of his fingers to pinch your nipple and play with it while your hand made it's way back inside of his pants. You wanted to moan, but Levi shut you by kissing you again, now using his palm to massage your breast, repeating the same actions with the other one. You gather his pre-cum with your thumb, and when you broke the kiss he looked at you with fire eyes at the moment you put the thumb in your mouth.

''Tch, fucking filthy'' He said moving so he could be at the top of your body, and it was his turn to kiss your neck.

He spread your legs with his own, and you could already feel the dampening in your panties, so you bucked your hips against his knee to get some friction, moaning when you feel his hard-on against your thigh.

Your hands traveled to the end of his tank top to get rid of it, loving the feeling of his skin against yours. Levi's mouth went to your right breast and he played whit his tongue over your hard nipple while a free hand unbuttoned your shorts. Thank God they were easy to take off.

He slid a finger along your wetness, smiling to himself. You were so wet and he had barely touched you, that's the effect of him over your body.

You looked at him when he kneeled on the bed in front of you, his erection still trapped in his sweatpants.

''Ass on the air.''

He demanded, looking at you with darker eyes as you did what he said. Levi pulled down his pants mid thigh and stroke himself a bit as he was watching all of your movements. He raised an eyebrow when he saw you, aligning himself n your entrance to gather the wetness on the tip of his dick, your moan being the most delightful sound to his ears. He did it again, just teasing you and enjoying the panting sounds coming out of your mouth.

Levi held you by your hips, making you kneeled on the bed, his torso pressed in your back and his cock over your asscheeks. He bit your shoulder when you moved your hips back wanting to feel more of him. One arm crossed around your chest, squeezing your breast with absolute freedom while moving his hips against you.

''Just fuck me already'' You whined, but you let out a moan when his other hand was now rubbing your clit.

''What was that, brat?'' Levi spoke in your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

''Please, Levi.'' You were already a moaning mess when he started using his fingers on you. ''I want to feel you. I want you to fuck me'' Your voice was even weak, you needed him and he was taking his time. But you knew you also had power over him when you felt his cock twitching against your asscheeks.

''So damn needy, brat'' He answered simply, using the hand that was rubbing your clit to grab his length and aligned again with your entrance.

Your mouth opened at the sudden thrust, your walls clenching around him at the second he was inside you. Levi didn't let go his arm away from you, he wanted to keep you tight against his frame, to have everything from you. You could feel his thighs hitting your skin every time he moved in and out of you, and his erratic breath on your ear was driving you crazy. Another loud moan left your mouth when he started stimulating your clit with two of his fingers. You could hear him grunting as he laid his forehead on your sweat shoulder. The weather was terrible, so now both of your were sweating and none of you seemed to care about it.

You felt Levi's lips kissing your neck, sucking a spot on your skin to leave a mark, he loved doing that and you were aware of it. His thrust became faster, you moved your arm to rest your hand on his undercut and guide him to your mouth. It was a messy but heated kiss, there was no dominance war, both of you were just tasting as much possible from each other, driving each other crazy.

Shit, you heard Levi say. He broke the kiss and a panted sound left his mouth, he grabbed your hair in a fist, making you throw your head back as he kept fucking you relentlessly, his cock twitching inside you from time to time, making you know he was close. And so were you.

Now the hand that was caressing your breast was over your chest, fingers laying over your neck slightly chocking you and making you moan at the same time thanks to his rough nature.

Suddenly, he stopped. His breath was hitting on your back, and you find some seconds to get your breath back together as well, but not for long. You feel his hand between your omoplates, making you lay on the bed, your ass still lifted towards him.

His thrusts started again, this time they were not that fast but they were hard, intervals of three and four seconds between each thrust. Levi pressed his lips on your back, kissing you and bitting softly. The feeling of his locks touching your shiny skin made you feel in heaven, and he was feeling exactly the same. Again, the speed returned. You moaned loud, and you could even think that your neighbours listen to it, but you didn't care. He was so immerse in pleasure he didn’t even notice the moment when his sweatpants had fallen to the floor, and after a few seconds, he groaned and cursed under his breath, the muscles of his legs and butt clenching at the familiar feeling, and you could tell by the rough rhythm of his lasts thrusts. The pressure on your lower stomach grew bigger, and it was impossible to hold any longer. You reached your end moaning loudly with your head against a pillow, the clenching of your walls around Levi's dick made him come almost as the same time, finishing inside you with another panted sound coming from his throat.

He stood there, catching his breath as his forehead was against your back. Levi pressed a kiss, and then pulled out, being impossible not to see the mess the two of you had made over the sheets, and inside you when he came.

''Fucking disgusting.'' He said, and you rolled on your body so you could see him.

''It is, but you love doing that.'' You raised an eyebrow, your chest moving up and down.

''I do.'' Levi answered shortly and kissed your lips, biting the lower one and then moving to your neck, collarbone, and the valley of your breasts. Without dominating himself he licked, nibbled and sucked your right nipple, and then the left one, making you moan again.

''Is it us, or the temperature rose?'' You asked closing your eyes, feeling now his forehead against yours.

''Maybe both.'' He said and got down of your body, sitting on the bed. ''Come, let's take a shower before we fucking burn, brat''

''I wouldn't mind burning with you''

You said in a flirty way, giving him a back hug and kissing his broad shoulders.

Maybe the shower could wait, or maybe the shower could be the next place you were going to burn together. But a sure thing was, that you were not letting each other go anytime soon.

#attack on titan #attack on titan imagine #levi ackerman #levi ackerman imagines #levi ackerman headcanons #levi x reader #attack on titan headcanon #attack on titan imagines #levi akerman

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fandom-necromancer · 4 years

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A matter of comfort

This was prompted by the amazing @iamsofternow ! I hope you enjoy! This story involves trans topics. As I’m not trans myself, please tell me if anything I wrote is wrong or could hurt someone! I will change/delete it!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 (Warnings: implied body disphoria, trans character written by a non-trans author)

Nines was running just behind Gavin following the fugitive android. He cursed as he should have caught up to the criminal long ago, hadn’t it been for the fugitive’s companion who had nearly ripped his left leg from its socket as he had interfaced to induce stasis for later arrest. Like this, he could only keep up with his human partner that was blocking his sight remaining surprisingly on the optimal path to catch up even with the faster model. Right as they turned the corner though, Nines got a good view of their fugitive, who had turned in just the right way to pull out a pistol from his side. Although the supposed weapon was still masked behind his body, Nines had already pre-constructed the probability of the bullet hitting his partner. So, right when he exited his pre-construction software, he shouted: ‘Gavin! To the left! Now!’

The exact second, he shouted “now” the bang of the pistol being fired echoed through the air and Gavin jumped aside and out of the way. Nines realised three outcomes next: First of all: Gavin would survive. Secondly, the bullet would hit him instead, directly into his thirium pump, causing him to bleed out and overheat in mere seconds. And lastly: His momentary momentum was too high to break or redirect in his weakened and damaged state, causing him to run directly into the railing, tip over it and fall into Detroit River. That didn’t mean he tried to stop that outcome anyways, hoping for that few percent chance the universe would align to save him.

But in the end, it was futile, as he felt his body fall and saw the water rushing closer. All he could do was shutting down before the water would cause him to short-circuit and hope that someone would care enough to fish him out of the river.

‘Nines!’ Gavin had jumped to the side as soon as the android had said something and only started running again, as he registered Nines had been shot in his place. He watched as the android stumbled forwards, trying hard to halt before the railing, but even to the human it was obvious he wouldn’t make it with the way his left leg slipped under his weight. He had to watch as the android toppled over, desperately trying to reach for the vertical bars but hands grasping only air. And then he disappeared.

An agonisingly long moment later, Gavin found himself at the very same railing, leaning over and staring down at the splash that was the only evidence Nines hadn’t just simply disappeared into thin air. ‘Nines!’ Could androids swim? Was Nines light enough so it was even possible? Was he even waterproof? How severe had the wound been? Would he survive this? He was short of jumping himself, but held himself back, calling backup instead. He informed them of what had happened, that their fugitive had escaped and was armed. ‘I need a technician here. And… A diver probably. As soon as possible!’

About an hour later, Gavin stood at the side of a scene that could have been finny hadn’t it been his partner: A tow truck had parked at the edge of the pier and pulled up Nines’ motionless body with a wench. A team of technicians as well as a group of the experts that had worked on the sole prototype’s development had gathered around the truck and got to work immediately as soon as the android was lowered to the ground. Multiple cables were hooked up to his neck port while others carefully opened as many compartments manually as they could to let the water out. The partial reactivation half an hour later made Gavin hope for good news, but the technicians shook their heads.

‘What?! What is it?’ ‘He shut down before hitting the water, that’s good. His memory core is likely the best protected part of him, therefore it is still intact. The person you got to know is still there.’ ‘I hear a but coming’, Gavin sighed. ‘Yes. He won’t be able to use this body. The damage is too intense. He will need almost a full body replacement and as he is the only unit ever developed, we can’t just put him in a new one. We will have to contact people that have already resigned if they haven’t fled the city after the revolution. It will take a long time until we are finished rebuilding him.’

Gavin’s face fell. ‘How long are we talking here?’ ‘At least six months. Likely more if we don’t have all the blueprints readily available. Some of it was top-secret and some only Kamski’s AI had access to.’ ‘So effectively, Nines is dead for the next six months, possibly more?’ ‘We will try our best to come up with a solution.’

That was about all of an explanation Gavin got as the technicians carried Nines over to a van, laid him down in the transport area and drove off after leaving their contact details with Fowler, who had only just arrived at the scene. He stood there, answering his Captain’s questions once again and then returned to the precinct where he was supposed to carry on with his job. Because Nines was in repair and taken care of and he would recover eventually. Seemingly only Gavin sat there staring at the empty chair and worrying how the hell he was supposed to continue like this without his partner, a pain in the ass but still by now a person he considered a friend or at least acquaintance, missing for half a year.

When Nines stood in front of the station, he felt uncomfortable. Not only because of the attention his unannounced visit would likely cause, but also because of his body. His old clothes stretched in places it hadn’t before, his considerably weaker state compared to his old one was unsettling, and his perspective had changed too. He was looking at the world from a point far lower now. It was an overall weird feeling.

He entered the lobby and walked up to the reception, grimacing as he pulled out his badge and pass. ‘Hello. I’m Detective Nines, I’d like to talk to Fowler.’ He cringed at the high pitch in his voice he couldn’t modulate like he could do with his own. The android behind the counter frowned, so Nines extended his hand – so much smaller and more defined, almost sculpted – for an interface. Soon after, the receptionist smiled at him the next second and let him pass the security gate.

Nines directly marched towards the glass cube of Fowler’s office, ignoring the confused faces of his colleagues. He tried to walk with just as much confidence as he always had, but it was difficult now that he had everyone’s attention. The only reason he wasn’t stopped by any of them was that the receptionist obviously had let him pass and not activated any alarm yet. He sighed, entering the glass cube and waiting for Fowler to get off his phone call. What was nearly immediately happening.

‘Who are you? What are you doing here? Who let you in?’ ‘I’m Nines’, he declared, handing over his badge and service weapon. ‘I think I’ll have some explaining to do.’

Gavin had watched the foreign woman walk into the bullpen like it was nothing out of the ordinary. He exchanged glances with Chris and Tina, who both just shrugged and looked back to the reception. But as no one came running after her, they just collectively frowned and waited for what would happen next. At least the woman seemed to know exactly where to go and she headed directly for Fowler’s office. Maybe someone from the higher ups? But she was an android… Not to be racist, but most of them hadn’t yet made it so far up the ladder, even with the new regulations in place. He watched her enter the office and hand an object over, then the glass frosted over for privacy, leaving them wonder but soon getting back to their work.

‘Everyone!’ Gavin’s head lifted up from the paper he was working on to look towards the stairs in front of the glass cube. Fowler was standing next to the woman and Gavin froze. That could only mean… Had they replaced Nines already? He had only been gone for a week and a half. ‘This is Nines. Cyberlife found a way to transfer him into a new body, so he isn’t missing life for half a year. I expect you to treat him the same way you did before and help him to adapt the best he can. Now back to work.’

Gavin always prided himself to be unphased by almost everything. This though? This had his mouth gaping in surprise. And he wasn’t the only one. But of course, the woman – Nines – was approaching their desk already, and he forced himself to stand up and keep his face under control. ‘Nines?’ ‘Yes.’ Gavin had to look really intently to notice it, but the way the woman looked to the ground ashamed or maybe embarrassed had something entirely Nines to it. ‘Yes, it is me.’ ‘Holy shit, it’s nice to see you’re still alive’, Gavin sighed as even considering everything, this had been the most important thing. ‘What- How- They told me it would take over six months!’ ‘Yes, I was informed. My own body will indeed need more time to be repaired. About that time actually. But for the time being, they transferred me into this tracy model.’ ‘A tracy?’ ‘They are the only ones that are compatible with my programming.’ ‘Would have thought they’d put you in a RK800.’ ‘We have a similar architecture, yes. But only Tracies are able to freely download additional data and programs outside of their own… purpose and are the only android model aside from custom ones that allow intense modification. My personality isn’t that extensive, but my military programming is. Therefore, they put me into this body.’ ‘Well, it’s good to have you back’, Gavin stammered. ‘I… I don’t know if I’m so happy about it. Maybe just waiting those months would have been better. At least for me. I wouldn’t have noticed the time.’ ‘Then why didn’t you do that?’ Nines stepped from one foot to the other. ‘I don’t want to miss that much time. And I worried that… That being gone for so long would alter your view of me. Also, someone obviously has to look after your ass on missions like the last one.’ Gavin chuckled at that. ‘Yeah, thanks for that, I… I guess you saved my life.’

They kept standing there awkwardly, unsure what to say or if they should rather be quiet. It was Nines, who spoke up in the end: ‘Should we get back to work? Did you catch the fugitive?’ ‘Hmm? Yeah, sure.’ Both of them sat down and Gavin updated him on their cases, after which they both got back to work. But something kept Gavin looking back at Nines and it wasn’t him trying to adjust the chair to his new hight. ‘Hey, err… you said you don’t know if you are happy about being back… Is there a reason for that?’, he finally asked. Nines looked up. ‘Yes, actually… This might be dumb, I mean androids and genders don’t really make sense, but… I feel weird in this body. I guess it is a matter of adaption, but… If I could, I would love to have my own back. This is… highly uncomfortable.’ ‘Just because of the body or-‘ ‘Gavin, I’m a woman now. For at least the next six months. And I have never been a woman before. This is… alienating.’ Gavin swallowed. ‘I… first of all, others see you as a woman. That’s not necessarily the same as being one. Second-‘ ‘I don’t see a difference there’, Nines interrupted. ‘Okay, as someone to who this really matters: There is a difference. And as I was about to say, I might be able to help you.’ ‘And how’s that?’ Gavin grimaced, looking around to see if anyone heard them. It wasn’t something he considered a secret, but he still had only come out to his closest friends, mostly because it was personal. ‘Well, Nines I haven’t exactly always been considered male myself… Maybe I kinda get how you are feeling at the moment. Just saying I might be able to help you if you want that.’ ‘I…’ Nines looked at him and maybe it was the fact that this new body’s eyes were just as blue as his own, but Gavin could clearly see the surprise and relief on his face. ‘I would appreciate that.’

They met on neutral grounds the next weekend with the overall plan to get Nines something comfortable to wear and help him set a few things clear. As Gavin waited on the bench outside the mall, he was playing with his thumbs lost in thought. Yes, okay, he would admit he felt guilty about the whole ordeal. He knew far too well how it could feel being uncomfortable most of the time simply because of existing in a space with others that didn’t see you as you truly were. Being the cause of that was just… Nines had taken a bullet for him and now suffered the consequences. The least he could do now was help where he could and make these six months as comfortable as it could be for the android.

‘Hello, Gavin. So, what’s the plan?’ Gavin jerked up pulled from his thoughts and only then adjusted realising this wasn’t a random woman asking him, this was Nines. ‘Err… Hi. Yeah, err, I thought to get some clothes for you? But I don’t know what will help you. What bothers you the most?’ ‘I don’t really know’, Nines shrugged. ‘I’m just… bothered? What was the first thing you changed?’ Gavin cleared his throat, breaking eye contact. ‘I… Well, I changed pronouns. Told them I would like to be addressed as a he, not a she. Then I changed my name to fit my identity. But err… you don’t have to do that, you are seeing yourself as male, right?’ ‘I don’t see myself as anything, Gavin’, Nines disagreed. ‘I am a program running on hardware that is now considered female. So I guess, I would switch to female pronouns? It would cause less confusion and spare me the explanation every time I’m introduced.’ ‘Nines, this isn’t about what’s more comfortable for others but for you.’ ‘I’m more comfortable not talking to strangers about my personal life if we are on a case.’ ‘Okay’, Gavin said, lifting his arms in defeat. ‘It’s your decision. But by the way, you can also go by them or other pronouns. It’s not that uncommon and it would go with your personal perception.’ ‘I will be considered female’, Nines determined. ‘At least for the time I possess this body. I may think of adapting something else once I’m back in my body.’

‘Alright’, Gavin nodded. ‘Do you want to change your name, too?’ ‘My name will remain Nines. I like it and I see no reason to change it.’ ‘Nice’, Gavin commented. ‘Then let’s see if we can get you something to wear that’s not Cyberlife branded.’

The months had passed quicker than thought. After an initial adapting phase, work almost went back to normal. Gavin had went shopping with Nines, buying a bunch of clothes both baggy and tighter as Nines hadn’t been sure if she wanted to accentuate her body or hide it just yet. She did underline that she liked tighter clothes as they didn’t get in the way as much, but in the end, she seemed to settle mostly on hoodies that were some sort of a compromise of both.

During work Gavin noticed a few things neither of them could change or disregard: Nines was slower now. The Tracy body wasn’t built to withstand higher forces and overheated far too quickly in high demand tasks, limiting Nines to only slightly above human levels of speed and endurance. She wasn’t as durable either. Without armoured plates and reinforced hull segments, almost every hit to her meant repairs and replacement parts. Gavin learned quickly to keep watch of Nines and more than once catch a blow from some criminal directed at her if it meant she would be spared the trip to a technician – although she always scolded him for that. Reduced strength of her model compared to her former soldier unit also meant Gavin had to constantly remind her of it, much to Nines’ frustration.

By the time the fifth month started, almost everyone had adapted to Nines’ new self and the call from Cyberlife that her body was repaired was almost like a wake-up call. Gavin and Nines had grown closer during these few months. Gavin had helped her whenever she asked for it and the mutual need to look out for each other now had changed their dynamic quite a bit. Gavin considered Nines his best friend by now, maybe even more considering how intimately familiar they both had become. He had shared stories with her he had never told anyone else about and Nines had in turn been the first person, Gavin had met outside of the internet that shared his experience. How often they had just sat next to each other on a couch in either of their apartments, sharing their thoughts holding each other close. Each of them telling the others their personal worries to in turn be comforted. Sure, Gavin had known that one day Nines would get her body back and the way she smiled, honest and bright, he could only feel happiness himself. But again, there was that little voice in the back of his head that told him it all would change now. And he didn’t want it to.

He parked the car in front of the Cyberlife Tower, forcing a smile at Nines sitting next to him. She smile back at him, obviously more than excited to walk over, but hesitating. ‘Will you wait for me here?’ ‘Of course’, Gavin nodded fondly and patted her shoulder reassuringly. ‘See you in a bit.’ He watched her walk towards the entrance turning back to give him a little wave of her hand and then disappeared behind the doors. Gavin’s smile fell and he leaned back against the backrest. Why did this feel like goodbye? Nines would be the same person when she- when he? – came back outside. He was just worrying too much, surely.

But when two hours later, Nines emerged dressed in his tight black turtleneck and white custom-tailored leather jacket that looked just like her - his - uniform had without the Cyberlife logo, his heart sagged. He stepped out of the car regardless and stood there awkwardly, as Nines came closer, hugging him with a strength that hurt as he was spun around. ‘Ahh, phck, Nines, too much!’ ‘Sorry’, the far, far deeper voice chuckled and put him down. ‘Ah, it’s good to be back in my own body.’ ‘Heh, yeah…’, Gavin commented, rubbing his arms. ‘Guess so.’ ‘I can finally see everything again’, Nines marvelled and blinked before bending down to pick up a small pebble to throw it with a force as if he planned on sending it into orbit. ‘Oh, yes, I missed that. I can finally calculate everything I want to again. I can analyse samples again, I can switch to infra-red and night vision and I can scan-‘ Apparently, the android had tried everything while listing it and now frowned. ‘Gavin, are you alright?’

‘I am’, he hurried to reassure. ‘Just… You have your body back. Anything else changed?’ ‘Oh. I guess I would go by male pronouns again. Just to avoid confusion. And… I will likely change my wardrobe again, because I doubt any of the shoes will fit. But other than that… not really. Why?’ ‘Oh, nothing, just… Nah.’ Gavin opened the door and entered the car, just to escape the situation. Too bad Nines followed and sat down on the passenger side. Gavin went to turn the key in the ignition, but was stopped by a hand – too large, too powerful, far harder than before. ‘Gavin, please. We used to talk about these things, not swallow them. I… Nothing has changed. I promise. I’m still me. My body changed, but what is my body than a means to interact with the world? I am still the same.’

‘I just…’, Gavin began but stopped himself again. ‘Nines, I… Before all this happened. Before you saved my life I hardly knew you. We were work partners and you were pleasant company. But there wasn’t… We only really became friends when you changed. When you needed my help. Now that you have everything back, I… I’m worried you will just get back to business as usual.’ Nines seemed to think about all he had just heard, then turned around judging by the sound of his clothes. He remained silent though, so Gavin risked a glance over. Nines was staring at him directly, his eyes full of concern and maybe even fear. And yes, some things stayed the same. Nines was still looking at him the same way, with the same expression. ‘Gavin. It is true I needed your help, but you are a fool if you think I only kept you company because of that. I like you. I really do. And in those few months I realised what I feel for you is more than I ever felt for anyone. I may be back in my body and have less problems, but… Gavin, I still need you.’ ‘You do?’, Gavin asked sceptically. ‘Sure’, Nines grinned. ‘Who else can I sit around with in parks judging the people passing by. Who else can I gossip with about our co-workers? And who else can I talk to when I need someone to really listen? Gavin, when I say nothing changed, I mean it.’

Gavin still didn’t look convinced, so Nines took a different approach. ‘You once told me that it isn’t about what’s more comfortable for others but for yourself. I think you should understand, that just because you helped me, my need for help isn’t what makes me like you. You were there for me when I needed you most. Because of that I know you will be there for me always. And that makes me comfortable regardless of the body I am in. Do you understand?’ ‘Yes’, Gavin answered silently. ‘Yes, I do. Thank you.’ ‘I have to thank you’, Nines corrected. ‘But for now, I think we should celebrate this, shouldn’t we?’

#detroit become human #dbh #Reed900 #RK900 #Gavin Reed #trans Gavin Reed #I wanted to add a joke of Nines being unable to open a jar but for one androids don't eat and also I'm always pissed when I can't open one #So I wanted to spare Nines the embarrassment #In our online drinking night I spent like ten to twenty minutes opening my damn bottle while everyone watched aaaa #yeah that's it for tag stories this time XD

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pandora15 · 3 years

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my former pharmacy school classmates just graduated with their degrees, so now i’m seeing all of their pictures all over my facebook and instagram timelines

my first reaction was like “oh hey this is so awesome! i’m so happy for my friends, they’ve worked really hard for this”

(salty and oddly introspective ramblings below the cut)

then i was like: “huh this also means that the person who really hurt me all those years ago is on the verge of becoming a licensed, practicing pharmacist. who gives like. actual medical advice to people. a person capable of causing all of that pain is gonna be out there, helping people and i just. wow.”

and then i’m like, “well, they’re not all in all a terrible person who’s gonna purposefully advise people incorrectly. they mean well; it’s just. things got complicated and they randomly decided that i’m not worthy of them, and decided to never even tell me as much, instead leaving me to wonder in agony for months (years) if i had actually done something wrong.”

but yeah, sure, it’s totally fine that a person like this is gonna be a medical professional in this capacity. yep yep yep.

up until now, I hadn’t really looked back and wondered if I could have possibly tried to stick it out through everything and keep going with pharmacy school. mostly because I didn’t want to wonder. looking back at the could-have-beens is not something I like to do.

but now I can’t help it?

could I have stayed? probably. at the time that I left, I was on the verge of failing a few classes, but I suspect that I could’ve pushed through and gotten saved by the curve or something. in hindsight, I see that it was likely, academically, for me to keep going.

pharmacy school, by itself, wasn’t horrible to me. it was a combination of social situations and pressures that pushed me to leave, along with the realization that my strengths did not align well with what the program demanded of me.

it’s....hm.

idk, I find myself thinking back to those days, and I just wonder.

#multiple times my parents were like ''you know you could go back and finish the pharmacy degree if you ever want to''#and i'm always like ''no i don't want to''#and i still don't want to because i'm really happy with what i'm doing now #but i guess i'm just wondering if i could've stuck it out #but then i remember exactly how much pain i was in towards the end and i just.#no i don't think i could've stayed any longer #because i also remember the sheer amount of relief i felt at just the /thought/ of leaving #like as soon as the idea of leaving came into mind i felt as though something would just free me from All of That #so i had to leave #hm.#anyways i guess these are my thinky thoughts for the day #pandora's ramblings

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organiclifestylemagazine · 3 years

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How I Fixed my Knee Pain

At 18, when I weighed more than 300 pounds, in a momentary lapse of judgment I decided to ride an electric scooter through downtown Atlanta. This did not end well for me. I hurt my knee so badly I couldn’t walk on my own, I needed crutches. By the time I could walk on my own it was painful to stand up. I was sitting down all the time. The injury took months to heal. I was out of work for more than a week. When I got back into work the job had become very difficult. Walking up and down the stairs and chasing the kids was agonizing.

A few months later I moved in with my father, and I started exercising and eating right. Today, my knee pain is almost gone, but not completely. When I do feel knee pain it’s the first indication that I am not taking proper care of myself as well as I need to. I feel it when I eat restaurant food (even the healthiest), or anything processed. I feel it if I eat corn or wheat. I feel it if I don’t have my daily salads. It keeps me on track.

My knee keeps getting better and better. What I am doing is working. I am now sharing it with you. This is how I lost 150 pounds and fixed me knee:

Strength exercises

Squats were instrumental in building up the strength in my knee. Squats are generally one of the most beneficial exercises you can do to improve mobility and bodily function. They mimic natural movement that we used to do in nature. We used to squat to use the bathroom, to harvest food, to hunt, to stay inconspicuous, to simply take a break, etc.

My knee would pop a lot when I first started doing jiujitsu, 6 months ago, and usually popping made it very sore. Every time it got sore it felt as if it got a little stronger.

Running also helped. Being active in general promotes healing and is usually the best way to heal an injury. I use Vibram Fivefinger shoes. I used to have flat feet that would exacerbate the knee pain, but they have strengthened into healthy arches. I think this is in large part due to running in the Fivefinger shoes. Flat feet cause the knees to buckle which causes the hips to become out of alignment.

Related: Running Without Knee Pain

My Workout routine

I work out intensely every day. I run a mile, weight lift and do bodyweight exercises for between 30-45 minutes, and train Brazilian jiujitsu for about three-five hours a day. This wasn’t always the case though. Prior to my knee injury, I was not active at all, and for months after my knee injury, I couldn’t so much as walk up the stairs without feeling discomfort, let alone workout.

When I did start working out, I ran into problems. I wasn’t able to squat as low as I wanted to, and when I ran my knee was extremely sore. While my knee tried to heal, the arches of my feet would both go out of place giving me problems when I ran or even walked. One of my arches was so flat my shoes were two totally different shapes after I wore them in. As I tried to fix that problem, my right hip (the hip of my injured knee) would continue to go in and out leaving me with an uncomfortable pinching feeling in my hip.

Supplements

I use deep tissue on my knee to promote healing when it gets sore, or when it pops.

I also take B vitamins and vitamin D to help with soreness.

Thyroid issues

From years of antibiotics and other prescriptions, I developed thyroid problems in the form of constant chronic neck pain, amongst other things. The thyroid problems got radically better so much so that I didn’t even notice them for months. When I began doing jiu-jitsu they showed up again. My neck is often sore or stiff from training and on bad days I’ll develop a headache. When I started training more intensely (multiple classes a day) my endocrine system would crash, physically unable to keep up with my workload due to a weak thyroid. I would become extremely nauseous and fatigued and would often throw up. These crashes would put me out of commission for as long as three days at their worst. My thyroid continues to get stronger, and I take glandular supplements on a daily basis to help build a stronger thyroid and prevent crashes.

Related: Holistic Guide to Healing the Endocrine System and Balancing Our Hormones

Diet

Diet is always the most important part of healing and recovery. No refined sugar, no gluten, nothing inflammatory. Lots and lots of vegetables, grains, and legumes. I eat salads every day (recipes).

I cook all my own from scratch, everything minimally processed and as natural as possible. When I buy food from the grocery store I look for food with as few ingredients listed as possible. When you’re trying to get well don’t trust anyone else to cook your food, not a company, not a restaurant, not other friends and family.

If you’re interested in learning more about how I eat, check out these articles.

Related: How To Heal Your Gut

Sleep

In order to allow my body the time it needs to heal I have to get at least eight hours of sleep a night. I generally average closer to nine, or ten hours a night though with how much I work out. Sleep and diet go hand in hand. It’s impossible to be in perfect health if you’re not consistently getting enough sleep each night, but in turn, it can be difficult to get quality sleep without a healthy diet.

Fixing my diet was the most instrumental part of fixing my sleep. After fixing my diet, I had to develop a routine for sleep. Picking your wake-up time is easier than picking your bedtime. Decide when you want to wake up each morning and stick to it. For me waking up at a certain time made it easier to assure I was going to bed at a certain time.

As we’ve all heard before, you should avoid using your phone right before bed. I’m bad about this, but what I do that I highly recommend is programming your phone to go on do not disturb every night before your bedtime. My phone goes on do not disturb at 10, and I’m asleep by 10:30 at the latest, but usually by 10, I’m already laying down in bed.

Related: How To Detoxify and Heal From Vaccinations – For Adults and Children

Injury prevention and recovery

One injury in one area affects more than just that one area! I learned that my weak thyroid causes flat feet, which cause one’s knees to buckle, making me more susceptible to knee injuries and making it very difficult to heal! My knee has caused hip problems and problems with the arches of my feet. Be willing to work in areas beyond just what’s injured and see how being in tune with the whole body can make a big difference.

Many people don’t understand all the areas in which a healthy diet benefits you. People still think too much of your health is left up to chance. Someone who eats a healthy diet is less prone to injury and takes less time to recover when they do get injured. A healthy diet makes for stronger bones, a more resilient body. I cannot stress this enough, you are what you eat. The old saying reigns true to a degree most people don’t realize.

One of the most important parts of healing and recovery is knowing your body. This comes with eating right and taking care of yourself. If you constantly provide your body with the right stuff, it lets you know what it needs. Rest is important. Often times we don’t need nearly as much recovery time as we think, but it’s still important to take time to figure out what you need.

Please keep in mind that if you’re on a weight loss journey that isn’t finished yet and you’re ramping up your workout routine you are likely going to run into problems other people won’t. They may be insignificant. Your back may be a little sorer, the arches of your feet may have a hard time staying in place properly, but with the proper diet, you can make it out the other end stronger than most. Be patient. Some of these problems can take months or years to completely fix.

I’ve lost 160 pounds and I’m healthier than most anyone I know, but I still run into problems I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t been heavy and if I didn’t still have a few pounds to lose.

How I Fixed my Knee Pain was originally published on Organic Lifestyle Magazine

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gffa · 4 years

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@ap-trash-compactor replied:

1/7 I wanna preface this by saying I agree with everything you’re saying here but I think there’s another layer to how Raffa’s story functions both textually and meta-textually, and to what it illustrates about how many people in the Galaxy /might/ perceive the Jedi, which I personally haven’t seen addressed yet. Sorry in advance if this is something you’ve heard/read/discussed ten million times already, but... 2/7 If you took Raffa’s story out of Star Wars and put it into a contemporary drama, changed the word “Jedi” to the word “police,” and made the particulars about a high-speed car chase? I think it would sound pretty believable. And I think this illustrates something Palpatine does through the mechanism of the Clone Wars to make the position of the Jedi especially vulnerable or precarious wrt to public opinion. 3/7 Even if every single Jedi engages w the power and authority of their military or police role only in the best intentioned, most good-faith way imaginable (which the Umbara arc tells us doesn’t always happen), any time you are in a role where you, even have without wanting or intending to, exercise the power of life and death other lives, you will cause pain and be a target for resentment. Someone will lose someone, and be angry. 4/7 No matter how good or how well-intentioned or how compassionate they are, during the Clone Wars the Jedi are forced into the role of a state authority exercising the power of life and death. They are not only a cultural minority during the Clone Wars. They are also a branch of the state, and in that role they sometimes either kill people, or are involved in events where people die and where, no matter their intentions, they are the face of the state and the voice of authority. 5/7 Many of the military and police actions shown in different episodes of this series leave destruction in their wake. The Jedi’s participation is barely by choice and almost never by preference— but if you are one of the Raffas of the galaxy and your parents just died, the distinction probably does not matter much. I think this is a corner Palpatine absolutely wanted to paint the Jedi into, because it absolutely serves his goals. 6/7 There are not many Jedi during the Clone Wars. Certainly there are not many compared to the problems they are trying to fix. I have no doubt Luminara tried her best, wanted a different outcome, and gave Raffa all the comfort she had the time and the opportunity to give... But if you are one of the Raffas of the galaxy and your only direct experience of the Jedi is like the one Raffa describes? You’re probably primed to consume all of Palpatine’s worst lies. 7/7 If you’re Palpatine, making the Jedi rush from violent crisis to violent crisis doesn’t just distract them from the fact that you’re a Sith Lord — it also makes the Jedi into the face of a lot of negative, hurtful interactions with the state, which is going to impact the way people see them.

I think you and I are very much on the same page! I have discussed this before (the public’s turning on the Jedi), but I’m always down for discussing it again! Especially when I love pretty much allllll of this. If you’re Palpatine, making the Jedi rush from violent crisis to violent crisis doesn’t just distract them from the fact that you’re a Sith Lord — it also makes the Jedi into the face of a lot of negative, hurtful interactions with the state, which is going to impact the way people see them. You are spot on with your summation, to the point it’s almost hard for me to respond with anything because I feel like all I can do is bang my fist on the table and go, “Yes! This is what I’ve been talking about!” Though, of course, there is a lot going on here that’s making it complicated. This post that you’re responding to is focused more specifically on the theme of unreliable narrators + the close associations this season has had with Revenge of the Sith (the moments that make us sit up and go, “Oh, that’s foreshadowing for stuff in ROTS!” like Padme’s pregnancy, Anakin’s advice to Rex, etc.), but there’s also what you’re talking about here--that it’s been a long-running theme in the GFFA that public sentiment turned against the Jedi and that the causes of that are fascinating. I said a bunch of times that Rafa’s hurt in this episode is valid, that there’s room for both the Jedi acting with honorable intentions and that people don’t trust them, don’t draw comfort from them, that these things are not mutually exclusive and you’re hitting on exactly why--because they were put into a situation where, if they’re not 100% perfect, then they’re going to fall off the pedestal they’ve been put onto. That any flaw they have will then get magnified a hundred times. Luminara seems to have made a point to go back and try to talk to Rafa, to tell her a phrase that is narratively meaningful within Star Wars on a meta level, like, that says to me that she has really good intentions! But that Rafa doesn’t draw any comfort from it, as a non-Force sensitive and someone who probably is left to the Republic’s shitty welfare services (which isn’t the Jedi’s jurisdiction, they’re not social workers and we can’t expect them to be), doesn’t undercut Luminara’s presumed good intentions, just as Luminara’s presumed good intentions don’t undercut Rafa’s hurt. And that it’s understandable--because, as the Maul arc in season 5 says, the Jedi aren’t doing the things that they used to do, that crime is flourishing because they’re being so busy with this war they’ve been drafted into. Even Star Wars: Propaganda makes it clear that public sentiment turned against the Jedi because of a cultural absence, rather than anything they actively did. This is all by design from Palpatine, that he’s keeping them so busy putting out tire fires on Ryloth (who were being slaughtered by the Separatists), on Mon Calamari (who were being enslaved by the Separatists), on Kiros (who were being kidnapped and taken into the resumed Zygerrian slave empire), that they don’t have time to do the things they used to, like take care of a lot of the criminal elements or the outreach programs that we see hinted at in the supplementary material. The Jedi had to make a choice between fighting in a war where entire worlds were being enslaved, that there were only so many of them and they were dying, that they died in droves on Geonosis in Attack of the Clones and they’re dying every day in the war, that they were literally one out of six billion in the galaxy at their height, and that they had a million expectations placed on them. They have very little political capital/power, yet they’re expected to solve all the problems in ways that will last. They’re expected to police the Underworld, but also not police the Underworld because then they’re restricting people. They’re expected to be social workers. They’re expected to fight and die in a war that the public itself refuses to stand up in. And when they don’t live up to those impossible perfections, they’re torn down. This is not to set aside that of course there are instances of people like Trace and Rafa, where the destruction wreaked by chasing down someone like Ziro is going to sometimes cause people to get hurt and, honestly, I don’t feel like Rafa really blamed Luminara for that, given the acknowledgement of the crowded platform she was trying to avoid. But if she had? That, too, would have been reasonable and understandable! That it doesn’t matter if the Jedi were doing literally everything they could, that doesn’t mean there’s not also room for Rafa’s hurt. And that, even if I think there was absolutely nothing that Luminara could say that would have given Rafa comfort, that doesn’t make Rafa’s hurt/viewpoint any less empathizable. My blog tends to focus on the Jedi side of things because those are the characters I’m interested in, not because they’re the only element that matters. In the meta we’re responding to, a lot of the focus is on Luminara and the Jedi because that’s my jam, that’s the part I thrive on, but we’re definitely in agreement that Rafa’s feelings are not wrong and it’s not hard to see where they come from! I do take issue with the idea of--whether it’s true or not, we can all argue about it all day long, but it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not--that if the Jedi are remote and distant from the galaxy, that that narratively is approved of how they then “kind of brought their downfall (aka, violent genocide) on themselves”. That’s something I’ve seen skirted around in commentary from the creators and I’m wary of it leaking into the narrative in a more substantial way. But that’s an entirely separate issue from the fact that anti-Jedi sentiments exist in the narrative and that they led to the Jedi Purge/Jedi genocide. As part of the propaganda and manipulations Palpatine did, yes, absolutely, that is one of the most fascinating things! And that doesn’t mean that there’s not validity to those feelings, even if they’re rooted in propaganda and manipulation! But that, just as there’s room for Rafa’s hurt despite Luminara’s intentions, there’s room for the Jedi’s good intentions despite the public’s hurt and/or mistrust. My thing is that I tend to look at why the Jedi act the way they do and I usually come away with empathy for how they got into the situations they did. Like, take their alignment with the Republic, which was an organization with corruption down to the roots by the time of the Twilight of the Republic, that that association absolutely led to their downfall/genocide. But what else could they do? Being part of the Republic in that way allowed them to actually help people, to have negotiating power, to form treaties that would be honored even when they were no longer on a given planet. If they weren’t under the jurisdiction of the Senate, they could not have helped as many people as they did, especially because how would they even be able to afford starship fuel or housing costs? Would they charge people for their services? That’s a disaster waiting to happen! There’s room for both “the best option for the Jedi was to be part of the Republic and try to improve the system from the inside, which is what they did” AND “the being part of the Republic is what ultimately fucked them”, those things are both true! but if you are one of the Raffas of the galaxy and your parents just died, the distinction probably does not matter much. I think this is a corner Palpatine absolutely wanted to paint the Jedi into, because it absolutely serves his goals. Spot on! I have fun looking at what Luminara’s intentions likely were and what the context of the structure of the show entails, that Rafa’s character doesn’t have to be a reliable narrator to be valuable (and I say this as someone who actually really loves the unreliable narrators of SW, which honestly is almost literally every single character, very few are ones you can take at face value without seeing the circumstances for yourself), but to Rafa it doesn’t really matter what Luminara did or didn’t say, because that’s not what she was looking for or what she got out of that conversation. I can’t say I would act differently in her position! And that’s exactly what Palpatine did. He pulled the Jedi in so many different directions, made them responsible for things that literally no group could possibly have survived with public sentiment intact, and even if the Jedi had been literally perfect (which they weren’t), it wouldn’t have mattered, given that the entire point of the prequels is that you gotta choose between Shitty Option A and Shitty Option B. It’s the galaxy’s worst ever version of, “Which would you rather?” except its real and you have to play the game, because not playing gets you fucked over even faster, like it did with Mandalore.

#rafa martez #jedi order #meta #tcw spoilers #long post

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segalia · 4 years

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Living in Lockdown with You

What’s that saying about writing indulgent fluff if you don’t have the inspiration to write? Yeah...this domestic fluff three-parter has been nagging at me since I was in extreme lockdown a month ago and wondered how Percy and Annabeth would handle a similar situation. Featuring clingy and sleepy Percabeth and working from home. Enjoy.

*** Annabeth stared at the screen blearily, trying desperately to focus on the videoconference in front of her. As a demigod, focusing was hard for her at the best of times, and this switch to everything online certainly wasn’t helping. She was all too aware of her face in the lower corner of her screen, wishing her boss hadn’t insisted they leave their cameras on for this presentation. Blinking and squaring her shoulders, she was just about to try again to tune into the discussion of a new architectural technique when a mug floated out of the corner of her vision.

She looked up to see Percy offering her the steaming mug with a sympathetic smile. She took it gratefully, cupping it in between her hands and letting the warmth revitalize her.

Thank you, she mouthed, then remembered her mic was off. “Thank you,” she repeated out loud, needing something real to ground her to this moment.

“Of course,” he nodded, and turned to give her space to focus.

“Wait,” she put the mug on the table and caught his hand, reveling in the familiar feel of his hand in hers. “Can you stay just a few minutes?”

He smiled again, that troublemaker but supportive smile that had eased its way into her heart so long ago.

“Of course,” he repeated, making himself comfortable on a nearby chair.

She expected him to start playing on his phone as she went back to focusing on the presenter, so he caught her off guard a few minutes later when he posed an insightful question about what the presenter was saying. As she answered, pulling together facts from earlier in the presentation and one of her college classes, she realized that this weird combination of stimulation, from the hot liquid warming her up inside and his hand in hers, to the presenter’s voice and Percy’s questions, was helping her focus better than she had all day. She squeezed his hand briefly in his thanks, and he gave her a warm look before asking another question.

Gods, he was so smart.

With Percy peppering occasional questions throughout, she was able to not only breeze through the rest of the lecture, but also pose several intelligent questions when it came to the follow-up meeting. Finally, the meeting concluded, everyone said goodbye, and she signed off.

She sagged back in her chair in relief. “Oh my gods, thank you. You were a lifesaver.” She hadn’t meant to steal him for the whole meeting, and she was sure he had other things he was probably supposed to be working on, but she was so grateful and he was so willing that she decided to feel appreciative rather than guilty.

He shrugged nonchalantly. “It was actually pretty interesting. I’ve listened to you rant about architecture enough over the years that at least most of the words made sense.”

Too tired to properly express her emotions of gratitude and how smart and amazing he was even if he didn’t always see himself that way, she raised his hand to her mouth and kissed it softly. “You’re amazing, thank you.”

His smile was soft and a little bashful, but all he said was, “what are you thinking for supper? I’m not sure we have enough leftovers for a full meal.”

Her brain switched gears to food, and they started brainstorming. With stretching and groaning, they rose and headed to the kitchen, ready to tackle this new challenge as a team.

***

A couple days later, she found herself going to bed at a decent hour for once (quarantine and distance work had been messing with her already messed up sleep schedule). When she crawled under the covers, however, Percy was still seated in bed, staring intently at his laptop (their apartment was really tiny--what can you do against New York apartment prices?-- and didn’t have much in the way of living space).

“Are you--” she yawned, “almost done?”

“Huh? Oh, I mean, I think so? I can move elsewhere if you want.”

She shook her head sleepily, aligning her body so she could curl around him. “It’s okay. Just dim your monitor please.”

He nodded absent-mindedly, focus already returning to his work as he complied.

She must have drifted off because she woke disoriented to find Percy still tapping away on his laptop. “Hey.” She breathed, adjusting her position to lean against him, stretching out a crick in her arm, “what time is it?”

“Hm? Oh, I guess it’s 2:30.” He blinked and muttered, “when did that happen?”

“Percy,” she was having trouble keeping her eyes open, “you should head to bed.”

“I know, I know, I’m just really close to finishing.”

“You said that several hours ago.” If she wasn’t careful, she was going to fall asleep and drool on his shirt.

He kept typing, and she wasn’t sure if he’d heard her.

“Perce? Are you actually close to a stopping point? Cause if you save it for tomorrow and get some sleep now, you’ll probably do better work.”

The computer noises stopped, and she felt him chuckle under her cheek. “Now where have I heard those words before?”

She grinned sleepily, “Not sure. I think some wise guy said it a couple times.”

“Wise guy, huh?”

She could picture the smile on his face, but merely hummed in agreement and snuggled further into his side.

“Okay, okay.” There was a pause before he said, “for real this time, I found a good stopping point, just give me a few minutes.”

“Okay,” she was drifting off again.

True to his word, she felt him shift several minutes later, and suddenly the dim light vanished. A tension she hadn’t even realized she was holding released. She only grumbled slightly as he gently slipped out from under her grasp, and sooner than she expected, he was back under the covers, drawing her into his chest.

“Love you,” she murmured. “Sleep tight.”

She felt a laugh rumble through his chest as he bent to kiss her forehead. “You too, Annabeth. Love you.”

***

Her laptop was lifted from her lap mid-sentence and a weight settled in its place. “What?” She looked down to find Percy sprawled across the bed between her legs, head pillowed in his arms on her lap.

“Sleepy,” he muttered, shifting to get comfortable.

“I wonder why,” she responded affectionately, holding her laptop in one hand and carding her fingers through his hair with the other.

“Had to-” he yawned, “finish the project.”

“And you did, so I’d say you’ve earned your rest.” His recent tiredness put her in mind of the months after he’d taken the Achilles’ Curse when he’d fall asleep anywhere and everywhere, often in this very same position.

Of course, then, she didn’t usually have a computer and a report to finish.

“Hey,” she gently tapped the computer on his head. “What am I supposed to do with this?”

“I dunno,” he mumbled. “That works.”

“This works?” She repeated, skeptically resting her laptop on his head.

“Sure.”

Deciding to play along, she tried to continue typing. “Hm, I’ve determined that your head is not a sufficiently flat surface.”

She felt him shrug against her legs. “Not for lack of trying.”

“I don’t think I’m advocating for more monsters to bash you in the head.” She moved her laptop to his back instead. “I’m fond of your skull as it is.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” she smiled, running her hand through his hair again, tracing the shape of his head. “Now stop distracting me.”

“Sure thing, babe.”

Smiling and rolling her eyes, she turned back to her report in the dyslexia-supportive program one of her siblings had designed. Percy’s back was much more stable than his head, and she couldn’t say she didn’t appreciate the company.

She finished a rough draft and saved it, deciding to look it over for errors and edits later. As she closed the report, her background came into view. It was her and Percy during their visit to Washington DC the year before. They’d planned a large group trip with Grover and the rest of the seven to support Piper’s recent appointment. A lot of them had road tripped down together, and spent hours at the Smithsonian Museums. It had been the last time all of them had been together, and now, with lockdown, the memories were even more precious. Her heart clenched, and she was immensely grateful for Percy, even if he was becoming hot and heavy.

“We should have a group call with the others soon.”

He stirred; she honestly hadn’t been sure he was still conscious. “We have one the day after tomorrow. Hazel put it in the group chat, and you already agreed.”

“Oh yeah.” With the stress of lockdown and working from home, details were a little hazy sometimes. “That’s good then. Are we calling your mom any time soon?”

“Maybe tonight? Paul’s busy with teaching online, and Mom’s been busy with her book and trying to homeschool Estelle. She said she’d let me know.”

“Cool,” she idly traced patterns on his back. “Gotta say I’m so grateful for modern technology right now.”

He snorted, “And that we can use it now.”

“Gods, yeah.” A combined effort on the part of some Hephaestus kids, Athena kids, and a remarkably tech savvy Ares kid had led to a spell/app combo that meant monsters could no longer trace demigods through their technology. Annabeth had to admit that a smartphone had been a lifesaver a number of times, both in college and in monster fighting.

“So, what do you want to do for this rest of the day? Especially now that you got that project out of the way?”

“Sleep.”

She tugged at his hair, “you can sleep later, c’mon.”

“You can sleep with me,” he suggested, and she caught his mischievous look.

“I’m not tired,” she stuck out her tongue. “Do you wanna watch something? We’re nearly caught up on, uh, that one show.”

He named it. “That one?”

Snapping her fingers, she nodded decisively as if she’d had the name all the time. He just gave her that teasing smile. “Yeah, that one. Wanna watch that?”

With an overly dramatic sigh, he crawled off her. “Sure.” He kissed her cheek as he settled into her side. “Popcorn?”

“Why not?” She smiled at him, “but you have to salt it.”

“I think I can agree with that,” he grinned at her and pulled her laptop to him so he could pull up the show.

She plodded to the kitchen (well, kitchenette), and returned a few minutes later with only slightly burnt popcorn and a salt shaker for Percy to wield. As she curled up beside him, and the familiar title song played, Annabeth felt the deep-seated contentment that no matter what crazy things were happening in the world right now, no matter how helpless and scared she felt, at least she had her something permanent with Percy.

#pjo #percabeth #percy and annabeth #domestic fluff #fanfiction #seg's stuff #I tried to keep details vague so you can project your favorite future headcanons #reblogs likes and comments are always appreciated!

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pikapeppa · 4 years

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Professor Solas/Lavellan: Dreams

Chapter 15 of Inadvisable (professor Solas modern AU) is posted! Note: I didn’t post Chap 14 here on Tumblr because formatting/I’m lazy, so if you’re following from Tumblr, make sure you don’t miss that chapter!

In which Solas and Nare have a very productive supervisor meeting. UST ahoy. 😂 ~7000 words; read on AO3 instead.

***********************

- SOLAS -

Nare leaned away from Solas’s computer screen with a sigh. “... so after I tried for the fifth time to layer the colours and ended up with just a bunch of muddy-looking landscapes, I got fed up. That’s when I texted you.” She shot him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry about that, by the way. Bothering you on a Sunday night like that.”

He gave her a gently chiding look over his reading glasses. “I told you, you are never a bother. But this is what I mentioned on Sunday. Layering is not as useful in oil painting as it is with watercolours.” He leaned back in his chair. “What could be helpful, however, is to carry over your gouache techniques instead of the watercolour techniques. Gouache is more opaque — closer in opacity to oils than watercolours, in any case, though the opacity is not nearly as…”

He trailed off in amusement. Nare’s face had fallen into an expression that was very reminiscent of a lightbulb turning on over a cartoon character’s head.

He smiled at her. “You see what I’m suggesting, don’t you?”

“I’ll just create the highlights after the fact,” she exclaimed. “I’ll add them at the end instead of working around the canvas to get the whites.”

“Yes, exactly,” Solas said.

She laughed and ran a hand over her ponytail. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of that on my own. I’m an idiot.”

“Don’t insult yourself, Nare,” he said firmly. “It serves no purpose.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Sorry. It’s — it’s automatic. I don’t really mean it.”

He relaxed slightly, then tilted his head. “It is not often that a piece frustrates you to this degree, is it?”

“Not really,” she admitted. “I don’t usually start over this many times. Even if I’m not happy with a study, I always just finish it so I can start fresh on the next one.”

He looked at her in surprise. “You always finish your studies?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Even if I don’t like them, I… it’s hard for me to leave them unfinished.” She sighed and leaned back against his desk, and he studied her pensively for a moment. This was something he hadn’t known about her process, and it was certainly enlightening.

In truth, everything he had learned about Nare over the past two weeks was enlightening. In the space of a mere two weeks, Solas already felt like he was becoming well-versed in who she was. With every passing day, he learned more about what excited her and what made her nervous, the things she was most passionate about and the things that made her laugh.

And with every new thing he learned about her, he felt more… aligned with her than he had any right to feel, considering that they had known each other for less than a month. And it wasn’t just their increasingly lengthy supervisor-student meetings that were giving him these fascinating insights into who Nare was.

It was the texts. The insidious, unwise, inadvisable conversations by text message that Solas was incapable of cutting off, no matter that he ought to.

He was still trying to maintain a modicum of professional distance by not being the one to initiate the texts, but that didn’t change the fact that he was checking his phone more eagerly these days than he ever had in his life. In some small and admittedly deluded part of his mind, he had convinced himself that if he kept a small amount of distance, letting Nare be the one to initiate contact, he could maintain a veneer of innocence in this, despite his obvious culpability.

You are the only one who believes me to be a sweet talker. Should I insist on you having a little more discipline? Are you talking back to your supervisor?

His overly candid texts, his inappropriate innuendo-laced remarks, and worse yet, the voice memos...

He was making a mistake, and he knew it. But with every passing day, he found himself caring less and less. He had never texted anyone as often or in the same capacity as he texted with Nare. His texts with Abelas and Dorian were entirely professional, and his texts with Felassan were a bit more frequent and casual with occasional bouts of banter, but he’d never engaged in anything like the texted conversations he had with Nare. And their exchanges really felt like actual conversations. Solas had never realized that it was possible to have such in-depth conversations via text.

He had never realized how quickly the intimacy of a bond could be fostered by the simple medium of typed-out messages on his screen.

Solas forced his mind away from the idea of intimacy and bonds and removed his reading glasses. “Do you recall how in your portfolio submission for this program, I asked you not only to submit your best works, but the ones you consider to be your worst?”

“Yes,” she said.

He nodded. “Your weakest works still displayed good technical skills, and what you remarked on were the technical errors, which told me what you already know: you have a strong technical foundation — a very good handle on perspective, anatomy, colour theory and so on.” He set his glasses on the desk. “What I found interesting is what you didn’t point out in your own weakest pieces.”

Her expression became wary, as though she was afraid of what he would say. “What do you mean?”

“Your weakest pieces all had a stiffness to them,” he said. “A rushed but almost static feel, as though you were stuck on them in some way but forced yourself to finish them just for the sake of being able to say they were finished.”

Her face slackened with surprise. “You could tell that from looking at them?”

“Yes.”

“That’s…” She trailed off and stared at him. Her expression was shifting from surprise to an odd sort of melancholy, almost as though he’d exposed her in some way that she hadn’t expected to be exposed, and he watched her changing expression with some concern.

“Did I offend you?” he said softly.

“No,” she said quickly. “No, it’s not that. I’m just…” She licked her lips nervously. “None of my art professors before ever… remarked on that.”

He frowned slightly at this. “It appears quite obvious to me.”

She shot him a tiny smile, then took a deep breath and folded her arms as though she was cold. “So you could see from those bad pieces that I was struggling just to finish them?”

“Yes, I could,” he said. “Now, having become more familiar with your work and the way you think while you’re painting, I believe that those pieces are the result of you getting trapped in a certain mindset. It is almost like you fall into a groove with them, and you become too focused on finishing them rather than stepping back to re-evaluate their quality.”

She shrugged helplessly. “I get what you’re saying, but I just… I don’t like leaving things unfinished.”

“Studies are never meant to be finished,” he reminded her. “The entire point of a study is essentially to play. To figure out the bones of your piece and to problem-solve.” He frowned. “Your undergraduate art professors allowed you to finish your studies?”

She shrugged again. “They seemed to like it when I did. They thought the finished studies were good.”

“But you didn’t,” he said. It wasn’t a question; he knew she didn’t care for her own finished studies, which was why she had submitted them as her weakest pieces.

“No,” she said.

He frowned more deeply. “You should have trusted your own judgment in this matter.”

She gave him a small smile. “You’re saying I should have ignored the opinions of my professors?”

He lifted an eyebrow. “Some professors have better opinions than others.”

She laughed. “I wonder where I can find a professor with a good opinion, then,” she said playfully.

Solas smiled in return, but he didn’t reply. Nare was half-sitting on his desk with her head tilted coquettishly, and he was visited by a heated — and very inappropriate — urge to seat her more firmly on the surface of his desk and to discipline her for her cheeky remark.

Ah yes, he would discipline her slowly. He’d strip off her pants and push her legs apart, and he’d run his tongue slowly and very teasingly along the insides of her thighs until she promised not to talk back to her supervisor anymore.

His cock stirred in his trousers, but he shunted the lustful thoughts away just as he had done every time they’d met in person for the past two weeks. His meetings and his seminar class with Nare were becoming a true test of his self-control. On the one hand, they were satisfyingly productive and intellectually stimulating; every time Solas saw Nare, she had read or watched at least one of his recommended resources, be it an article or a book chapter or a tutorial video, and the ensuing discussions they had were as satisfying as any that he had with any other scholar or artist at the university.

On the other hand, his treacherous lust-fuelled body was so attuned to her that he had to physically force himself not to reach for her whenever she was near.

Solas was torn: torn between his dual urges to discuss everything with her and to devour her. His only saving grace was the fact that he’d finally given in and allowed himself to fantasize about her when he touched himself — which he had being doing almost every night for the past two weeks, to his own mild disgruntlement.

He was sleeping very well, however, so he supposed he couldn’t complain.

“For what it is worth, my opinion is this,” he said. “It appears that you have gotten into a habit of making the completion of a piece your goal, and that you’ll drive toward completing a piece even if you are unsatisfied with it, or if you know something about the piece is off. But finishing a painting should not be your ultimate goal. What you should be striving for is to create something expressive — something that captures the feeling or the message that you intend to convey, whether the form of that creation is a completed painting or a half-finished study or a simple sketch.” He gave her a knowing look. “You should be striving to make something that brings you joy and satisfaction, Nare. Something you can take pride in. It is not enough to finish the piece if you did not derive any satisfaction from it.”

She smiled weakly. “I don’t know that concept artists or other professional artists would agree with you about that.”

He huffed in amusement. “You’re right. Felassan and I have had to agree to disagree about this matter. But to my understanding, you are not aiming to be a concept artist.”

“That’s true,” she said softly. She took a deep breath, then released it. “So instead of trying to always finish the piece, I should just… ask myself if I’m happy with it.”

“Exactly,” he said.

She nodded, then gave him a pleading look. “But I want the art to be good, though.”

“That’s what studies are for,” he reminded her. “Your other professors seem to have forgotten that, but the purpose of a study is to practice. To hone your technical skills as well as your ideas.”

“And what if I find myself grinding away at a piece even though I don’t like it?” she asked. “I should just… what, throw it away?”

He shook his head. “Don’t throw away unfinished pieces. Set them aside and come back to them. When inspiration leaves you dry, the best approach can often be to come back with a fresh perspective. Set the piece aside, focus on something else, let it live at the back of your mind. Then return to it when you are refreshed, even if returning to it means leaving it alone for years.”

“Years!” she exclaimed. “Have you ever left a piece to sit for years before coming back to it?”

“I have, in fact,” he said dryly. “So I believe my opinion about this matter is a valid one.”

She chuckled. “All right. I’m sorry, professor.”

His heart jolted at her playful — and provocative — use of the term. She smiled broadly at him, then exhaled and nodded. “Okay. I’ll work on just… putting things aside and coming back to them.” She smiled wryly. “I’m so impatient, though.”

“I’ll help to coach you in this,” he assured her. “I am very patient.”

“I hope that rubs off on me,” she said.

His belly flipped at the innuendo in her tone. His eyes locked onto hers, her brilliant oceanic eyes, and for a moment they just stood there, frozen in the forbidden but heated thrill that was building between them.

She was still leaning against his desk while he sat in his chair. In this pose, this tense and heated tableau they were locked into, Nare’s knee was nearly brushing his, and he wouldn’t even need to fully extend his arm to touch her. He could place his hand on her waist, brush his thumb over her hip, trail his fingers toward the fly of her pants and peel them open button-by-button until she was panting — all with barely having to try…

He abruptly stood up, then clasped his hands behind his back as he made his way around his desk. “As I mentioned on Sunday, I am happy to provide more hands-on instruction in oil painting techniques. Even one or two sessions could help to build your confidence with this medium.”

“I would love that,” she said. “When can we start? Where should we do the lessons?”

“I will have to check my schedule to determine the best time,” he said. “As for where: the university’s graduate studio would be most convenient. We can easily book a space.” Secretly, however, he was imagining her in his studio at his apartment. The thought of having Nare in his home, standing barefoot in front of an easel while he provided gentle guidance for her slender hands: the fantasy made him feel aroused and protective at the same time, as though he wanted to guard her from others while keeping her selfishly for his own, and he was grateful for the span of space between them as he wandered idly toward his bookshelves.

“The grad studio space sounds good,” she said. She started edging around to the front of his desk as well. “Or, um. I… Tamaris and I have a studio space at our apartment.”

He looked at her. Her expression was shy but hopeful, and when he met her eye, she ducked her head in that bashful way that always made him want to bend her over his desk.

She tucked a russet strand of hair over her ear and let out a little laugh. “That probably wouldn’t work, though. Tamaris uses that space most of the day for her tattoo clients and I don’t want to get in her way. But she, um, she also doesn’t work every day, she always picks a day of the week where she sees no clients, so we could always — I mean, you could come and — all my paints and supplies are already there…”

She was babbling. She looked up and met his eye again, then let out another self-deprecating laugh and rubbed her arms as though she was cold. “Never mind. It’s a dumb idea. Pretend I didn’t say anything.”

Solas didn’t reply. Truly, in this moment, he was forcing himself not to speak or to move. The way her manner shifted so seamlessly from bold and flirtatious to bashful and demure was so… fenedhis, it was a perfect dichotomy, like two glimmering facets that melded so perfectly in this one beautiful young woman, and each side of her seemed to call to something different and complementary in the depths of his soul.

He wanted to teach her and to watch her bloom. He wanted to pin her down and make her beg. He wanted to protect her from any clumsy lovers who would fail her, and he wanted to imprint himself on her body so thoroughly that she would forget any other lovers who had come before.

Solas wanted Nare so badly that it was a physical ache, and with every passing beat of his heart, he had to remind himself of the ugly truth: he absolutely could not have her. He could banter with her and text her and savour the undeniable electricity between them, but at all costs, he needed to remember: Nare was not his to have.

He inhaled slowly through his nose to master himself. “Let us stick to the plan of booking a student space for this,” he said. “Teaching you at your home studio would be unwise.”

He regretted his word choice the moment it left his mouth: Nare straightened with interest. “Unwise? Why?”

Because I would be far too tempted to ravish you if we were alone, he thought. “Not unwise,” he amended quickly. “Inappropriate.”

Her hopeful expression became playful. “What, you’ve never taught any other students at their studios at home?”

He gave her a chiding look, even as his heart swelled with a heated sort of amusement. Shy one moment and cheeky the next… she was such an irreverent little vixen.

“I haven’t,” he said calmly. “But you are the first fine arts graduate student I have had since I began working at the University of Orlais.”

Her eyes widened. “You’re kidding! Why? There must have been tons of students who wanted to work with you.”

“None that met my standards,” he said. “Felassan says my standards are frighteningly high. And that is not sweet talking, as you would say,” he added wryly. “That is the simple truth.” He paced slowly in front of his bookshelf as he went on. “You are already a very good artist, Nare. With some tutelage and guidance, I have no doubt that you will be exceptional.”

She smiled shyly and sat on the couch. “How can you have such faith in me when I don’t have that kind of faith in myself?”

“Many of the finest artists are shackled by self-doubt and uncertainty,” he replied. “The artists who succeed are the ones who channel that uncertainty into a drive to improve their work.”

“So do you think it’s good that I’m always criticizing myself?”

“Your self-criticism can go one of two ways,” he explained. “It can become a weight that prevents you from progressing, or it can become an objective lens that will drive you to improve for the rest of your life. As objective a lens as there can be when it comes to art, at least,” he added with a small smile.

“You won’t let me get weighed down by my doubts, will you?” she asked.

He paused in his pacing and faced her. “I will not let that happen, Nare,” he said seriously. “Do not worry about that.”

“I’m not worried,” she said. “I trust you.”

I trust you. Her words were simple and guileless, but for some reason, they hit him like a bolt of emotion straight to the gut. For her to say that to him so easily and so quickly, with such perfect sincerity, even though they had known each other for less than a month…

She let out another breathy little laugh and nervously adjusted her bracelets. “Honestly, I… I trust your judgment more than… more than any other professor I’ve ever had.”

He swallowed hard. “I am honoured by your trust,” he said quietly.

Her answering smile was sweet, and Solas admired her with a mixture of lust and regret and inexplicable tenderness — tenderness that he absolutely should not be feeling for his student, but which had burst upon him nevertheless, like a sunshower that he had been both unable and unwilling to avoid.

For a long, suspended moment, neither of them spoke. And in this tense and electric moment, Solas swore to himself that he would never betray Nare’s trust, no matter what happened.

Nare was the one to break the silence. “We spend so much time talking about my work,” she said. “I’d love to hear about yours. Are you working on any paintings right now?”

He relaxed, grateful for the innocuous change of subject. “I’m afraid to admit that I’m not.”

“You aren’t?” she said.

He smirked. “There’s no need to look at me like that. I realize the irony.”

She chuckled. “As long as you realize it. What have you been sketching or drawing, then?”

He smiled at her. In one of their meetings, he had told her that he drew or sketched every day even when he wasn’t actively painting, and he was flattered that she had remembered that little detail of his routine.

He shrugged and resumed his slow pacing. “I haven’t drawn anything worth showing lately,” he said — a near-lie, unfortunately. In truth, he’d been refining the sketch of the eager hands in the hopes of turning it into a fully-finished drawing. It would be the first realistic anatomical drawing he had done in several years. But he was keeping this particular piece to himself for now.

Nare gave him a skeptical look. “Oh come on, I don’t believe that. Your sketchbook must be full of amazing work.”

“I don’t use a sketchbook,” he replied.

Her eyes widened. “Wait, really? What do you sketch on, then?”

“I draw on loose cardstock,” he said. “I dislike being constrained by the binding of a sketchbook or the height of a stack of pages. It interferes with the positioning of my hand.”

She beamed at him, and the warmth in her expression lifted an answering warmth in his belly. “What amuses you?” he said softly.

“It’s just such a specific preference,” she said. “Like a special quirk.” She tilted her head. “I like knowing special little things about you.”

He huffed and rubbed his chin. “Then perhaps you’ll be entertained to hear about the shelf of haphazardly stacked cardstock sketches in my studio at home.”

“You’re kidding!” she exclaimed. “What, just piled on a shelf?”

“Yes,” he said with a small smile. “It’s quite a mess.”

She giggled and eyed his less-than-organized desktop. “That actually doesn't surprise me.”

He playfully lifted one eyebrow. “That’s disrespectful.”

“I’m sorry, professor,” she said, equally playfully. “Are your loose sketches dated, at least?”

He winced, and Nare laughed again. “No! That’s really terrible!”

He chuckled. “Athera would be horrified if ever she saw my shelf of sketches.”

“She would!” Nare agreed. “It would be a nightmare for her. I wouldn’t mind helping you to organize your shelves, though.”

Solas carefully maintained his pleasantly neutral expression. This was not the first time Nare had hinted at wanting to see his apartment, and every time she did, he got a thrill at the thought — and immediately changed the subject to stop himself from inviting her over like he so desperately wanted to do.

“That’s a kind thought,” he said. “At any rate, to answer your original question: no, I’m not working on any serious painted pieces at the moment.”

“How come?” she said. “Haven’t you been having interesting dreams?”

“My dreams have been a bit light on inspiration as of late,” he said. “Luckily, I keep a journal to jot down my more interesting dreams so I can come back to them when I am lacking in new ideas.”

Her eyes widened in wonder. “You have a dream diary?”

“Yes, I do.”

“I’d love to see it,” she said eagerly.

He hesitated. “Well, it’s… rather private,” he hedged. Few people knew about his dream journal — only Felassan and Abelas and a couple of others — and none had ever asked to see it before. But the thought of showing something so private to Nare was dangerously tempting.

She pulled a little face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

He shook his head. “Don’t apologize. I’m honoured by your interest. It’s… uncommon to receive this much interest in my process.”

“That makes sense, if you haven’t had an art student in so long,” she said knowingly. “I bet any fine art student would be really interested in your process.”

“Your interest is what pleases me,” he said without thinking.

A flush lit her cheeks, and the flare of hope in her eyes was so obvious and so beautiful that it made him feel like he was falling off of a cliff.

He hastily changed the subject. “I would be happy to share some of my more interesting dreams. The ones that I can recall, at least.”

She straightened. “Really? I’d love that!”

“All right,” he said. He leaned against the edge of his desk and folded his arms. “There was one dream I had of late: a figure so striking that I was forced to rise from my bed to sketch it out.” He tilted his head. “The Dalish tell tales of spirits, yes?”

“Yes, we do,” she said. She gestured at her face. “In Dalish traditions, our vallaslin was meant to help us connect with the spirit world.”

He nodded slowly. “The spirit world of which you speak is likely different from our Arlathani lore, but I suspect that our stories share their bones. In any case, the striking figure from my dream was a spirit that I call the Shadow Goddess.” He narrowed his eyes and tried to remember the details of the elusive dream. “Hidden by a cloak of the deepest black, she walked the Fade along the southern tundra — weeping, lonely, and forgotten. More than that, I couldn’t tell; I woke before her story could unveil itself to me. But the essence of her tale still lingers in my mind: a loneliness so dark and deep that even light was chased away by her endless solitude.”

For a moment, there was silence. Then Nare spoke. “Solas, that’s… so sad.”

Her voice was small and slightly breathless. When Solas met her eye, it was to find her looking very serious, but also somehow… on edge. Not nervous, not afraid, but still on edge somehow.

“It was a very sad dream, yes,” he said softly. “You can see why I haven’t been able to bring myself to paint it yet.”

She nodded. “I can’t decide if I’d want to see it painted or not.”

“Why wouldn’t you?” he asked.

A tiny frown creased her brow. “If it meant you had to be that sad to paint it? I would never want you to be that sad.”

He smiled faintly. “I suppose you have a point. I should be grateful that I have not yet had the heart to paint the lonely Shadow Goddess.”

She nodded, then leaned forward a little bit. “Can you tell me another dream?”

“Certainly,” he said. “Let me try and recall another.” He stepped away from his desk and sat on the other end of the couch. “There was one dream I had — a dream inspired, in fact, by an article I read in an Elvhen history journal.”

“An article? Really?”

He nodded. “The article was about the ruins of ancient Arlathan. When finally I went to sleep, my sleeping mind was mired among the burning ruins of the ancient city.” He crossed his ankle over his knee. “Marble towers and arches stretched above my head, higher than the eye could see, but all of it grew black with ash: the burnt remains of a once-grand home, unable to stop its own demise.”

She nodded and let out a slow and slightly shaky exhale, and Solas frowned. “Nare, are you all right?” he said. Her expression was still serious, but she looked even more tense than before. Her knees were pressed together, and her fingers were clenched in the leather seat of his couch.

“I’m fine,” she said quickly. “I, um… your dreams are always so sad.”

He studied her carefully as he replied. “This dream wasn’t sad, in fact. It was filled with rage.”

“Rage? Why?”

“It is commonly believed that ancient Arlathan was burned during the old wars between Arlathan and Tevinter,” he said. “But the article I read revealed the truth: the city had been burnt before those wars had even reached their heights — burnt from within by its own people.”

Her eyes widened with surprise, but Solas couldn't help but notice that the tips of her ears were pink, almost as though she was getting flushed.

Curious now, he went on. “Rage was what defined my dream. The blackened ash that stained the stones and hid the beauty of old Arlathan: marks of rage, brought upon the city by its own forgotten people.”

She inhaled slowly through her parted lips, and Solas’s own breath stalled in his chest as he watched her. She was shifting subtly on the couch, arching her spine and brushing her knees together in a distinctly restless way…

He suddenly realized what was going on.

Her tense posture on his couch. Her request to hear more of his dreams, and her shameless texted requests for voice memos. Her precious confession, saved in his phone, that ‘I really like your voice’...

The realization hit him like a thunderclap — an incredible, terrible, maddening thunderclap.

She was getting aroused.

She nibbled her lower lip — fenedhis, it wasn’t fair, he wanted to be the one to nibble that lip — then she looked him in the eye. “Can you tell me another?”

He stared at her, stunned with wonder. Nare was turned on by the sound of his voice. And by requesting more stories, she was shamelessly asking him to arouse her even more.

This was bad. He should say no. He ought to say no. He knew exactly how dangerous this was for them both, and it was his responsibility to say no.

But that smug and foolish sense of pride was unfurling through his limbs again, taking control of his body and making him shift slightly closer to her on the couch.

He lowered his voice. “I will tell you one last dream,” he said.

She nodded. “Yes please,” she breathed.

Yes, please. Ah, to hear her say this in a much more intimate context — and with considerably fewer clothes between them…

He leaned back and draped his arm along the back of the couch. “This final dream I’ll share with you was about a garden,” he said quietly. “Flowers bloomed across a vast expanse, stretching far into the haze of a horizon that my eyes could not perceive. But these flowers were unlike any I have ever seen. And this, I admit, is why my hand has never given shape to this particular dream: the flowers in this garden were so strange and foreign that I couldn’t hope to replicate their likeness.”

He paused for a moment to study her. Her eyes were half-closed and her lips slightly parted, and a rush of nearly-vicious desire fanned through his body. The look on her face right now, this look of languorous and shameless desire: how many times had he imagined such a beautiful expression on her face? How many times had he imagined seeing her look like this while he stretched her arms above her head, while he dipped his fingers between her legs, while he whispered soft and heated words into her ear — not unlike what he was nearly doing now?

Her eyelashes fluttered for a moment, then lifted as she turned her head to look at him. “Please,” she said. “Can you tell me more?”

Please. Such a simple and innocent word, but in Nare’s husky voice, it sounded anything but innocent.

He hesitated before speaking, however. There was, in fact, more to this particular dream that he could tell her, but he knew he shouldn't.

And for that reason, his contrary and lustful lips opened to tell her anyway. “At first, the garden was like any other: rich in colour and pleasing to the eye,” he said. “But as I waited in that garden, I discovered that those blooms were not just simple static flowers. With every breath that filled my lungs, the flowers seemed to pulse and sway. Their pulsing was… familiar somehow, like a song I had once known and had forgotten: the heartbeat of a foreign place, made familiar again by the whims of my sleeping mind.” He leaned toward her slightly and lowered his voice a little more. “I felt myself begin to wake, but I wasn’t ready to rise yet from that strange and familiar dream. I remained in that garden, feeling the pleasing floral beat as it swelled inside my chest, and when finally I woke…” He trailed off. This whole suggestive story was leading toward one conclusion, and it was a conclusion that he didn’t dare verbalize to her, not even with this misplaced cocky pride that had taken control of his tongue.

She gazed at him, her expression avid with curiosity and desire. “What happened when you woke up?” she asked.

He raised his eyebrows, and her eyes went very wide. “You — did you, um…” Her eyes darted to the bulge at his crotch, and Solas felt himself throbbing as though his cock was summoned by the heat of her gaze.

Her eyes returned to his face, and she swallowed hard before speaking again. “Did you have to take a shower when you woke up?” she whispered.

“I’m afraid so,” he said, very quietly.

“Oh,” she said. “Oh gods. Um, that’s…” She clenched her fingers on her thighs, then pressed her knuckles to her mouth, and Solas studied her very obvious reaction with all the ravenous hunger of a wolf studying its mouth-watering prey.

Nare closed her eyes, and for a long, delicious, endless minute, Solas stared at her while she dragged in a series of deep and tremulous breaths. Her knuckles were pressed to her lips as though to muffle herself, and her other hand was clenched on her thigh, and Solas wished that he could push her hand away and replace it with his own.

But he didn’t reach for her. He didn’t shift any closer to her on the couch. He stayed exactly where he was, still and unmoving with one arm draped casually along the back of the couch. For all that he craved her, for all the lust that was howling in his blood as he studied Nare’s arched spine and her fiery red hair that he longed to wrap his hands in, he couldn’t bring himself to touch her first.

If she touched him, however…

Fenedhis, he didn’t know what he would do. At this particular moment, he was fairly sure that the mere brush of her finger on his knee would be enough to make him pounce.

I can’t, he thought desperately. With an enormous effort of will, he forced himself to stand. “Well, I hope that this meeting gives you enough guidance to try again with your study,” he said briskly. “And I will certainly email you about a time for us to meet at the studio for a lesson.”

She lowered her hand from her lips and looked at him, and he very nearly quailed. The look in her eyes, the sheer uninhibited lust and pleading in her beautiful face: her expression was exactly as he’d always imagined — no, it was better than he’d imagined. Both better and worse, if he was honest. The naked desire in her face was better than he’d imagined, because it was real: it was real and true, tangible and visible proof that the way he felt for her was mutual and shared.

And it was worse than he’d imagined, because this incredible feeling was completely forbidden.

She tilted her head pleadingly. “Solas, please…”

Please. He couldn’t bear to hear this word from her, because it was exactly what he wanted to hear.

He shook his head slightly — both for his own sake and hers. “That’s enough for now, Nare,” he said. “Come.” He made his way over to his office door and waited for her to rise.

She closed her eyes for a moment, then exhaled heavily and stood up from the couch. She adjusted her purse on her shoulder as she joined him at the door, and when she reached for the doorknob, he was torn between relief and a very visceral sense of loss.

She paused and looked up at him. “So I’ll… I’ll see you on Thursday morning, then?” she said breathlessly. “For our usual meeting?”

He smiled, genuinely amused despite his horrible desire. “You’re forgetting about our seminar this afternoon.”

Her jaw dropped, and she burst into laughter. “Oh no, I did!” she exclaimed. “We really are fated to keep forgetting about the seminar!”

He grinned and clasped his hands behind his back. “To date, you have forgotten more often than I.”

“It’s not my fault!” she protested.

He quirked an eyebrow. “Are you suggesting that I’m to blame for your poor memory?”

She laughed again, then gave him a sly smile. “Not for my poor memory, no,” she said quietly. “For your sweet talking.”

He huffed, but her words gave him a little pang of guilt. Now that the worst of his prideful lust was starting to abate, the reasonable part of his mind was growing louder and clamouring at him for his extremely irresponsible behaviour just now.

He bowed his head. “You are probably right. I should curb my tendency to talk at such length.”

To his delight and his deep dismay, she took a little step closer to him. “Or maybe I should try some sweet talking of my own,” she murmured.

His semi-calm cock instantly hardened once more, but he forced his expression to remain neutral. “I wouldn’t advise that,” he said.

“Why not?” she asked.

He gazed into her eyes: her bold and beautiful cerulean eyes, bright with laughter and mischief — provocative eyes to go along with her provocative smile…

Provoked by Nare’s taunting, his barely-leashed sense of lustful pride reared its head once more. He took a step closer to her, and her eyes widened.

Then he took another step closer to her still, and another, and then she was backed against the office door while Solas loomed over her.

He placed one palm carefully on the door beside her head. “You know exactly why,” he said, very quietly.

She didn’t reply. Her eyes were huge and feverishly hot, her lips parted, her cheeks flushed. Beautiful, he thought dizzily. Nare was beautiful and lustful and brilliant, and most strange and unfathomable of all, she wanted him. But… fenedhis, this was utterly and completely inadvisable, and they both knew it.

She nervously licked her lips, and Solas’s gaze helplessly dropped to her mouth. She lifted her chin—

Someone knocked on the door.

They both jumped, and Solas hastily stepped away from her. “Just a moment,” he called. “I’m finishing a meeting.”

“All right,” Abelas replied through the door.

Solas exhaled through his pounding heart and looked at Nare. She was covering her mouth with both hands, and her eyes were huge.

He gave her a reassuring look. “Be calm, Nare,” he whispered. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”

She nodded and took a few slow breaths, and Solas carefully backed away from her. A tense moment later, she lowered her hands and gave him a sheepish but beautiful smile. “I’ll see you later,” she whispered.

He nodded, then smoothed a hand over his scalp before gesturing politely at the door. Nare opened the door and smiled at Abelas as she stepped out of the office.

“Hi, Professor Abelas,” she said politely, and Solas felt a completely unreasonable rush of possessiveness. He was feeling jealous about Nare calling Abelas by his own title? He must be going mad.

Abelas nodded to her. “Nare,” he greeted. He stepped into Solas’s office and held out an envelope. “Tamlen gave this to me by mistake.”

“Ah,” Solas said. He took the envelope and carefully did not watch Nare as she walked away. “Is that all?”

Abelas nodded briskly. “I’ll be leaving the office for an early lunch. I’ll go straight to my one o’clock meeting when I am finished.”

Solas raised his eyebrows, actually distracted by this surprising news. “You’re leaving the office for lunch? Is there a lecture happening somewhere?”

“No,” he said. “It is a working lunch. A last-minute arrangement.”

“Ah,” Solas said. “My condolences.” He was well aware of Abelas’s distaste for last-minute plans. “You couldn’t turn it down?”

“Apparently not,” Abelas said ruefully. “I will see you later.” He turned away to return to his office, and Solas closed his office door.

He made his way over to his desk, then plopped down in his chair with a sigh and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. He really must be going mad. Allowing himself to be provoked by Nare’s subtly arched spine and her soft little murmurs of please, telling her tales about his dreams even though he knew that his voice was riling her up, pinning her against the door and staring at her lips like a mindless lustful fool…

He rubbed his face, then straightened in his chair and clicked his mouse. He opened his documents and forced himself to concentrate on the article he’d been translating from Elvhen to common, but even as he worked on his translation, part of his mind was greedily running through his meeting with Nare, picking out the most deliciously suggestive things she’d said and done and storing them away for later when he was alone.

Her coquettish smile… Solas, please.. The arch in her spine as she sat on his couch… Maybe I should try some sweet talking of my own… The heated, feverish, pleading look in her eyes as he pinned her back against the door…

He cock throbbed insistently in his pants. He sighed and ignored it, then went back to tapping away at his keyboard.

Nare’s degree was going to be a very long two years.

#solas #solavellan #professor solas #professor solas au #inadvisable #pikapeppa writes

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