#the sentient code/ codebreak

[qubodeathscreen]

Just great. I totally wanted to go into a prison instead of hanging with my boyfriends. Thanks, God.

NS took a deep breath and used an M!A to fix his star glasses, Before smiling and turning to the group.

Alright so I figure you probably have room for one more person, Right? Especially since this person can grant wishes?

Ambitious today, Are we?

-NS

”No WAY! You grant wishes? Like, can you do any wish?”

“That’s a good point. But how do we know you’re on our side?”

“Yer powers probably won’ even work, anyway. We all get nerfed the second we get ‘ere..”

[sluggybunny]

"Cipherjack Tuesday". Well. Kind of. Don't have much a lot of coherent cool stuff to post but I would like to talk about it anyway.

The premise is "Internet is magic" and then go off from there. Originally there was a more fantastical fairy element to it but it's shifted more towards scifi over the years. The internet is still very much magic, though, with sentient beings that exist in it that are associated with demons, fairies, angels, etc. You got goblins that steal code, devils spamming you with pop up porno game ads and scams, and Things Whispering To You on the deep web.

Most of day to day life is like, some what AR'ififed. You can't really go about the world without having something that allows you access to the Net (sometimes called the Cipher)

I always start with the magic system in my worlds, so the magic works as "code" that you construct and then 'launch' or cast. So it's like typical incantation magic where you write a spell except you don't write it on paper or use mystical ingredients, you code it, run it, and hope your rig can handle whatever you just did.

the notes i have written

"Languages" are the 'schools' or types of magic.

Codes are cast through devices. There are different types of devices that can be used. Mainstream hardware is often severely limited by companies so Codebreakers need to jailbreak their hardware.

The device needs enough CPU power to cast certain spells. If it's too much, the device might break, burn, explode, etc.

Code also requires mental load, especially if you are casting off the cuff. You can preload spells to reduce the load but this takes a long time to set up and requires planning.

You can buy premade code or create your own. Premade code will always be weaker as it has to be designed for general usage and there's a limit to what you can find on the market.

Code can be used as many times as you want but like everything, it is susceptible to bitrot. Cheap/Low quality code will degrade fast and eventually become unusable.

Overloading yourself with too much code can cause lasting mental damage and even physical damage.

Overusing magic causes data corruption that bleeds into the real world: glitched objects, people phasing out of sync, memories overwritten.

i can go into more later.

general notes for the actual world

The highlights

the USA is now DSA (divided states of America)

Texas seceded first (although California claims they did it first) it didn’t go well because of infrastructure issues now they’re heavily tied to the Triad, now known as the Texas Triad

a computer virus threatened the world and it’s origins… Ohio. They used the DELETE bomb and now all that’s left is a smoking crater and is now a Glitch Zone (reality is corrupted)

a mister mouse has wakened and began his plans for his utopian police state. Florida is now ruled by a mouse mecha with a frozen head atop it. He is simply known as The Animator now.

a good chunk of what remains in DSA is owned by CostCorp. They sell every conceivable good and hold immense power and sway.

The game i'm working on is set in Eerie, which is a big city/sprawl place built in lake erie

well that's all I can think of at the moment.

i keep getting stuck on this project and that's likely because I don't talk about it to other people and get trapped in my own head, so I'm gonna try to force myself to post more about it. if you're interested in talking about it or are curious or whatever, hmu.

originally this was a tabletop setting I was gonna run but I don't get to do tabletop anymore, so now I've been writing a computer game(tm) for it. But I might do other stuff with it, who knows. it's just fun

[yureiyaps]

ִֶָ☾. See You Later!

cw: war au

pairing: megumi x OC, dad!Satoru

wc: 2.3k

(Akira's POV)

Arata and I were about to leave after the entire conundrum involving the vending machine, our boots scraping against the cold concrete. Wind stirred dust like it was hiding something. I scanned the zone. Something was off.

Too quiet. Not the good kind.

Arata was to my right, one hand near her holster, eyes razor-sharp. “Looks like it hasn’t been touched in years.”

I crouched beside the old terminal, brushing away decades of grime with my sleeve. “That’s what they want you to think.”

Then—

Click.

I froze.

Click click.

Two more.

Arata stiffened. “Did you hear that?”

I didn’t answer. My heart did.

Then they appeared. Three of them. Cresting the ridge like they’d been waiting for dusk.

Human in shape, but somehow different. Joints too fluid. Faces too still. Light didn’t reflect off their skin right—it bent. Like the world didn’t know what to do with them.

Sentients. Real ones.

I straightened slowly, stepping in front of Arata. “You’re not supposed to be online.”

The tallest one tilted its head, and I swore I heard metal strain.

“Unauthorized entry detected,” it said in a voice dipped in static. “Cross-referencing DNA profile: Gojo, Akira. Threat level: Red.”

Arata’s breath caught. “They know you by name?”

“I don't know how,” I whispered.

I barely registered her pulling her weapon. A gunshot rang out. It hit—ricocheted.

The thing smiled.

I grabbed her wrist. “Move!”

We ran.

Through dust and shadow and the broken bones of old infrastructure. I ducked low, weaving through collapsed beams, dragging Arata with me as their steps pounded behind us. I could feel the cold hum of their proximity—too close, too fast.

We found the ruins of a hallway—what used to be an ops corridor—and I slammed the reinforced door behind us, bolting it with an iron pipe. They didn’t try to open it.

They were waiting.

“Shit,” Arata gasped, bracing herself against the wall. “We’re boxed in.”

“No,” I said, panting. “Not yet. There’s a backup shaft I remember. It's supposed to run parallel to the old comms room. It’s narrow. We can crawl through it to the other side of the compound.”

Arata looked at me like I’d grown a second head. “How do you know that?”

I hesitated. “I don't. I guessed due to the installation and wiring. It's our only way out.

She blinked. “What?”

I sighed, rubbing my temples. "Let's just do it. I left trails, by the way."

Arata furrowed her eyebrows, a cease forming between them. "Why? And to who?"

“In case something happened. In case I didn’t make it back. I started embedding patterns. Messages. In my files. I marked specific words. Same pen, same color order. Left codes. Coordinates. Enough for him to trace. He wasn't supposed to find them yet, though. I didn't leave any trails in case this happened."

“Him,” Arata echoed, staring. “Wait. You’re telling me you wrote a secret love-coded message into classified black-ops files hoping Megumi would find it?"

“Not hoping,” I said, flicking my flashlight on. “Knowing.”

She exhaled sharply. “What the hell is he, a codebreaker?”

“No. He’s worse.” I smiled faintly. “He’s in love.”

She didn’t answer.

Behind us, the hallway lights began to flicker. One by one. Like a countdown.

We moved, running again. Deeper, faster. The shaft was ahead, covered in rust and silence, but still intact. I hit the latch and climbed inside first, turning to offer my hand to Arata.

“He’ll find us,” I said quietly.

Right before she pulled herself in, the wall behind her exploded.

We both ducked, heartbeats slamming, as one of the sentients crawled through the breach like a spider. Arata fired again—three rounds, all aimed at its core. It barely flinched.

I sealed the shaft door behind us and we bolted forward, crawling through wires and dust and memory.

My hands were bleeding. The metal walls of the shaft had edges like paper cuts, and the dust was thick enough to choke memory. I could hear Arata’s breath right behind me — shallow, ragged, like she was swallowing panic with every exhale.

We were blind. Only the beam of my flashlight cut through the dark, jittery against rusted cablework and crumbling insulation. The shaft was uncomfortably tiny, but it was what it was.

Then came the thud.

Heavy.

Too heavy.

I stopped. Held up a fist. She stilled. The thud came again.

I twisted toward her. “They’re above us.”

She mouthed back, How?

“They’re tracking heat.”

Arata’s jaw clenched, and for the first time since I met her, I saw her eyes flicker. Not fear — calculation. She was trying to figure out how many exits we had. How many bullets. How long it would take to die.

I reached forward again. Crawled faster. The shaft forked ahead — one path dropped lower. Tighter. A squeeze barely fit for a kid.

Perfect.

I slipped down it, boot first, sliding on my stomach until the space narrowed into silence.

She followed.

We stayed like that for what felt like hours. Until the air grew colder and the walls began humming. A different hum. Familiar.

I blinked.

“Wait,” I whispered. “I know this place.”

“You what?” she hissed.

I tapped the pipe above me. “This is under the research wing. One of the earliest blind test zones for Project Blind Sun. My father brought me here once when I was a kid. Looks like my predictions were right."

Arata stared. “Are you saying we just crawled into the belly of the beast? Thanks to your prediction, at that?"

“No,” I whispered. “We crawled under its grave.”

--------------

The lab beneath Sector 9Y was buried in time. A bunker within a bunker. My flashlight caught broken panels, smeared code stamps, bits of shattered glass.

“Why the hell would they reactivate this place?” Arata muttered, scanning the room.

“I don’t think they did,” I said. “I think it never actually shut down.”

We moved quietly. Past servers that buzzed faintly. Past an old terminal with flickering lights — not completely dead.

Arata crouched, dusting off the control panel. “You think it’s safe to touch?”

“Not remotely.” I popped open a side hatch. “But if there’s data in here, I’m not leaving without it.”

Then the screen lit up. A welcome message.

WELCOME BACK, GOJO-SAMA. PROJECT NODE: SERAPHIM GATE STATUS: REBOOTING DNA CONFIRMED.

Arata stepped back, stunned. Confused. Maybe a tiny bit afraid, but it was impossible to know.

“What… is Seraphim Gate?”

I stared at the screen.

“I don’t know,” I said. This was actually scaring me. Why was there a giant welcome message for my dad in the lab he sabotaged with his own hands?

And behind us — again — came that sound.

Click.

But this time it wasn’t from outside. It was from the shadows inside the lab.

I grabbed Arata’s hand, mine slightly trembling. We bolted — deeper into the forgotten wing. The shadows moved with machine grace. No footsteps. No breathing. Just the sound of shifting servos and the smell of old death. I don't know what my dad had been doing or what and who he was involved with, but this wasn't good.

I shoved open a side hatch and dragged Arata in, locking the blast door behind us.

“No exit,” she said, chest heaving. “We just boxed ourselves in.”

“We bought time,” I snapped, taking ragged breaths. “That’s all we need.”

The lights overhead sparked.

Then flickered red.

The console in the center of the room lit up.

ACTIVATING HOST EXTRACTION PROTOCOL. SUBJECT: ARATA MIYAZAKI. DNA KEY THREE – CONFIRMED. EXECUTING TRANSFER.

“What the hell is it doing?!” she shouted.

“I don’t know!” I ran to the terminal. “They’re not after me — they want you!”

“No—no, Akira, stop—!”

She shoved me back just as something burst from the far wall — a thin tendril of chrome and light, reaching like a vein of lightning.

It latched onto her back.

She screamed.

And the door behind us exploded.

A blur of black and blue shot through the smoke. Clean, sharp, silent.

Megumi.

He moved like a blade.

One shot — the bot behind Arata dropped. Another — the console shattered before it could complete the sequence. Sparks flew. Systems whined and died.

He was on his knees beside me before I even realized I’d hit the ground.

“Hey.” His voice was hoarse. “Hey, stay with me.”

I looked up at him, dazed. I'd ripped my side open against some metal while running and was gushing blood.

“You came.”

“Of course I came.” He was already checking my injuries. “You’re bleeding.”

I laughed weakly. “I bled more for worse.”

I winced as the pain sharpened, closing my eyes and leaning my head against the smashed console of the terminal as my breathing got shallower.

“I know.” He cupped my face. “But not again. Not alone.”

Arata coughed nearby. “Glad you two had your reunion. Can we get the hell out now?”

Megumi lifted me in bridal style; eyes still locked on mine. “I found the exit shaft on the way in."

“They want her,” I said, nodding to Arata. “They called her DNA Key Three. Something called the Seraphim Gate—”

“Explain later,” he said. “Move now.”

He was here.

And for now, we were whole.

_______________

We ran.

Well, Megumi ran. He carried me.

Arata limped behind, one hand clutching the charred mark on her back where the cable had latched on. “If I die from whatever the hell that was, I want my corpse buried far from military zones.”

“You’re not dying,” Megumi muttered. “Not today.”

“Cool,” Arata snapped, “then maybe clue me in on why robot tentacles think I’m a USB stick with legs?!”

“No idea,” I wheezed, “but I vote we short-circuit the next one with sarcasm and blind panic.”

We stumbled into a corridor that looked like it hadn’t been touched in decades. The signs were in a language I didn’t recognize — not Japanese, not English. Just glyphs. A triangle with a bleeding eye. Another with wings curled backward. A third, labeled in smudged ink:

SERAPHIM LOCK 3 Authorized DNA Required

“Okay,” Arata said flatly. “See? This is exactly the cult-bunker aesthetic I was hoping to avoid.”

Megumi didn’t slow. “We’re getting out. The shaft should lead us above ground.”

“We go up, what if those things are waiting?” I asked, raising an eyebrow quizzically.

Megumi looked back. “We stay here, I guarantee they’ll find us again. And you'll bleed out."

Fair. I readjusted the improvised compression, my head falling against Megumi's shoulder. He caressed my hair and adjusted his grip on me for more comfort, kissing my forehead. "You'll be okay."

We reached the shaft. Megumi hoisted me first, hands steady despite the tremor I knew he’d never admit to. I managed to not rip the wound open further, lying on the solid ground. Arata followed, teeth clenched the whole time. He came last.

We emerged into dusk-stained air, ash drifting across the horizon like paper snow.

The compound behind us groaned — alive again. Then it boomed.

A fireball lit the sky behind us. And just as I turned to ask what the hell that was, a voice crackled in Arata's comm.

“Akira. Lieutenant Arata. You’re both off the grid.”

Buzzcut.

“You’re lucky I intercepted the drone traffic. What the hell did you trigger in there?”

Megumi grabbed the comm and snapped, “We were ambushed. They tried to plug Arata into the floor like she was a damn power source!”

There was silence on the line. Then Buzzcut’s voice returned, low. Controlled.

“…Did it say ‘Seraphim Gate’? The terminal, I mean. Did it say DNA Key Three?”

We all froze.

Megumi looked between us. “…You know what that is?”

Buzzcut exhaled. “Get out of there. Now. I’ll explain when you’re safe. But listen to me, you just activated a goddamn fail-safe that wasn’t supposed to exist anymore. And if you’re alive, Akira, then so is your father.”

The line went dead.

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

Oh, Well | Five Hargreeves

✦ pairing — Five Hargreeves x afab!gender neutral!Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 4.3k

✦ request — hi could i request a five/plus size reader smut where they kinda bicker a lot (have a lot of tension) and are stuck in a tight closet together hiding ?

✦ warnings — nsfw, some bickering, tension, awkwardness, hints at intrafamilial violence (just a comment, nothing major), reader has a scar, semi-clothed sex, unprotected sex (please don't do this), vaginal fingering, handjob, vaginal sex, cumshot, some kind of aftercare.

════════════════════════

"Yes, Diego, you can punch them if they don’t cooperate, what kind of question is that?!” Before Diego could answer, Luther turned to the other side and added, “Five, take (Name) with you."

"What?!" you complained.

"Luther, no!" Five whined.

You should have known that befriending this endearingly dysfunctional family would backfire one day.

Luther was such a nice person that you never imagined he would ever bestow this upon you. Viktor was your usual partner when you had to split, but he was with Allison now.

Klaus and Ben were inseparable so unless they needed a codebreaker, which was essentially what you were, you were not needed there.

There wasn't an enigma or code you couldn't figure out. Unless, of course, the fucking enigma was sentient and a pain in the ass.

God, Five got on your nerves like nobody else had even tried to. You didn't know what it was about him, but you couldn't keep yourself from fighting him on every little thing and, through months of putting up with his constant need of being right, you found out he felt the same.

Shit, Diego was stubborn but you would have taken him over Five any day without any complaints. He was Lila's problem, though, and at any other moment, you would have been relieved.

"Why can't I go with you?"

Luther blinked. "Because I can do it on my own. Besides, Five is going to need you to gather the info."

"Why can't you and I go gather the info?"

"You want Luther, Luther, to sneak into a heavily guarded building?"

You would have thought him to be offended if you didn't know him. "I mean, yeah. It's better than putting up with you."

Five lifted his hands in exasperation. "I am surrounded by children!"

"That's rich coming from the guy who looked like one not even six months ago."

Viktor stood between you and Five, placing a hand on his brother's chest and the other on your shoulder. "Okay, stop it you two!"

"They started."

"I don't care, Five," Viktor put a stop to the incoming rant. "We're all adults, so let's act like it."

You nodded at him. It was always embarrassing to be chastised by Viktor in front of everybody. They never judged, but in your mind, they were thinking 'you just had to make Viktor step in, huh?' and yeah, maybe, but it wasn't intentional.

"Let's just... get it over with, yeah?" You offered, looking around at everybody.

Lila pointed at you. "What they said. I'm getting bored."

Why couldn't you go with Lila? You would have so much fun... well, maybe not her because your powers weren't that useful when fighting, but still.

Resigned, you asked Five, "So, how are we getting inside?"

"Give me your hand."

"What?"

"I'm getting us inside, genius."

Oh, that, yeah. "... okay." You offered your hand to him.

Five roughly grabbed it. The discomfort in the pit of your belly was over as quickly as it started. If only the corridor you appeared in was empty… oh, well.

Eyes were on you and Five and for the first time since you met him, you wished he looked 13 so that you could make a bullshit excuse about your little brother needing the bathroom.

Five didn’t even try to be subtle, choosing to ask about the office you were looking for openly. Unsurprisingly, security was called.

He grabbed your wrist and brought you with him, jumping from floor to floor.

Approaching steps prompted you to share a look. Opening the door closest to you, Five pushed you inside an empty closet.

He closed the door and shuffled to tug on the chain dangling between you to turn the light on. "Let's hope they stop following us soon."

"They wouldn't be following us if you knew how to keep your stupid mouth shut," you whisper-shouted.

Five inhaled deeply, lifting his finger to point at you before deciding it wasn't worth it. "Just do as I say."

"Yes, because that—"

He covered your mouth with his hand. "You're gonna get us caught if you continue being petty."

As if he wasn't petty!

But he was right, as much as it pained you to admit. You nodded against his hand so he would move off you. As much as he could move in such a closed space anyway.

Five removed his hand and rested his back against the door. He also put the lock on just to be safe.

"Do you know what time is it?" you spoke as quietly as you could.

"Why? Got somewhere to be?"

"Just curious."

"It must be like six or something. We should be out of here by nine."

You hummed.

"What's bothering you?"

"It's hot in here."

"Take your sweater off,” he simply said, as though that was the solution to all of your problems.

The sweater never came off, he should have known that by now.

"Was it a gift or something?"

"No."

"Look, just take the thing off, let your body cool off before you dehydrate."

"Okay. Turn around."

Five groaned. "There's no space."

"I don't want you to look at my body."

"I know what bodies look like."

"Yeah, but this is mine."

“Would it make you feel better if I turn the light off?”

“No.”

“Tough luck.” He started undoing the first two buttons of his shirt.

“Uh, what are you doing?”

“You’re not the only one who’s hot.” He stopped in his tracks, dropping his hands. “I mean as in—”

“I know what you meant, don’t make it awkward.”

Too late. It was awkward from the second he brought his hands up to undo the first button. Fuck.

As though he didn’t know it was already so fucking awkward you would rather be out there being chased, he undid the placket buttons on his sleeves and rolled the sleeves up to his elbows.

He couldn’t be idiotic enough to not know what he was doing. And if he was, you just hoped whichever God existed would have mercy on you.

Five looked almost innocent, peering at you as you did your best to not stare at him. As if there was anything else to stare at in the first place. Your goddamned luck.

The tiny closet was getting hotter, and you were sure the enclosed space had nothing to do with that.

Resigned, you grabbed the hem of your sweater and pulled it off. Five cleared his throat.

You looked at the wall beside you. “Stop staring.”

“I’m not.”

“Good.”

You expected many crazy things to happen that day yet standing before Five in just a white undershirt and jeans wasn’t one of them. It wasn't a proper undershirt but a camisole with bra support which made it even worse.

His silence was such a bad sign, too. Since when didn’t he have the energy to fight with you? There were ways to fight almost silently. Besides, there wasn’t any sound around you apart from the sighs he let out from time to time.

You held your sweater in your hand, feeling your skin grow sweaty as the weight and thickness of the material enveloped your palm.

"Why don't you just go create a distraction or something?"

"Because I would have to kill over one hundred innocent employees."

"There has to be another way, Five."

"Huh."

"What?"

"You rarely call me by my name."

"Well, I would do it more often if you were nicer."

"Would you?" For once, it didn't sound like a challenge.

"Ah, probably not,” you admitted. You weren’t about to lie to yourself just to spite him. You had done it many times before and it never ended well.

"Are you scared we're going to die here?"

"No. I would if the closet was air-tight."

"So it's not the possibility of dying or that you're busy later."

"Exactly."

"Well, I'm lost, then."

That was a first.

You shifted, doing your best to not lean into him. “I’m getting a cramp.”

He rested his hands on your waist, making you jump. “Sorry,” he softly apologized. “Just come here.” He brought your upper body onto his. “Stretch your legs.”

You groaned, immediately hiding your face in his chest to muffle your curses. Dropping your sweater, you fisted his shirt. “Fuck, it hurts.”

“Breathe, you’ll be okay.”

You took a deep breath, inhaling his scent by mere coincidence. It was rich, musky yet crisp.

“Thanks.” You lifted your head, forgetting you were so close.

Your noses bumped, you drew in a breath, and Five looked down. The warmth of his hands weighed on you, your knuckles were almost white as you viciously gripped his shirt as though it was the only thing keeping you grounded. And it was.

You would snap if you let go of his blue shirt, and you had the feeling he would snap if he moved his hands.

Searching for his eyes, you only found a parted mouth and the crease of his brow. You weren’t blind, or dumb, he looked attractive when he was focused — he was quite the looker in general, everybody in his family was.

But there was something about Five Hargreeves. It was a poorly kept secret between you and your conscience.

He whispered your name.

Your heart leaped in your chest. “Mmh?”

“Can I kiss you?”

You should have said no, you should have pretended this was a misunderstanding, you should have blamed the forced proximity of the situation. But that would make you a hypocrite and a coward, two things you hated with a passion. “Yes.”

He slanted his head as he closed the small gap between your faces, pressing his lips against yours. They were soft, perhaps too soft for the diet you had seen him follow, the most surprising part, however, was how willing you were to continue kissing him, how scared you were that he’d pull away.

Would it be weird if you kissed him more firmly? Did he even like that? How many boundaries would you cross if you dove into what you wanted?

You shakily rested your hands on his shoulders. The plan was to wrap your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss, a flawless one until you became frozen. His mouth slowly parted from yours, and barely moving any other muscle of his face, Five breathed heavily against your nose.

His lips were suddenly on yours again, so abruptly that the surprised sound your throat had made was swallowed by his kiss. He slowly slid his hands down your sides, reaching your outer thighs and tracing them up and down.

You quickly pulled away. "Turn the light off. Hurry."

Five withdrew a hand from your body and turned the light off. Breathless, he whispered, "Maybe we should keep it off."

"Yeah."

Voices echoed outside the closet. Five and you stood completely still.

This, silence, was uncommon between you. Insulting each other and complaining was your thing, yelling at each other too, not standing almost chest to chest, trying not to make a sound after having made out.

As the voices became fainter until they couldn't be heard anymore, you rested your head against the wall behind you. "Now what?"

"We wait for everybody to leave."

"Maybe we should have come at night."

"Luther didn't want to wait. You know how he is."

Luther worried, that was it, but you understood why his siblings didn't see it like that. You wouldn't have if he was your brother.

"Is the scar on your arm the reason you always wear long sleeves?"

You didn't think he'd ask. Or notice.

"They're comfortable."

"That wasn't my question."

You were glad he couldn't see you now. "Not many people know about it."

Five shifted. "What happened?"

"A fight at home went wrong."

His knee bumped yours as he got as close as possible. Five rested a hand on your waist.

"Can I touch it?" he breathed out the question against your face.

"The scar?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I really want to touch it."

You opened your mouth to tell him it sounded weird, but you didn't dare say so. It wasn't that weird in the first place, scars were interesting and they felt nice when they weren't on your body.

Maybe he followed that logic. The thought was a little terrifying, you weren't looking to have things in common with Five.

Some would say you already had.

"Okay." You wished you could see his reaction, but it was for the best that you didn't.

The pads of his fingers were rough, skin dry, he probably had never applied moisturizer.

The movement was slow, he barely put pressure on your skin as he steadily traced the scar.

"Do you hate it?"

"Yes."

Five hummed, hand still on your arm. "I don't hate it."

You had no answer to his comment, not even a sarcastic one.

Was he expecting you to tell him more about it just because you had some time to waste?

That didn't sound like him. Five always asked for what he wanted, or took it if it was needed. You didn't hate that about him.

"I guess you don't have to live with it."

"I have scars of my own."

"Do you hate them?"

"No, but I think about them often." He wasn't interested in talking about himself, or his scars for that matter, and so he asked, "Can I kiss it?"

"If... you want to..."

"Why else would I ask?" His voice dropped as he leaned in.

His lips made contact with your skin and you jumped. Five didn't apologize.

He started near your elbow, at the bottom of the scar. His mouth was warm against your skin, too warm, almost burning.

You let out a shaky breath as he carried on, tracing your scar with his lips, kissing his way up.

Five kissed your skin past the scar until he reached your shoulder.

Your hand traveled to the back of his neck where you slid your fingers into his hair. Five sighed, pressing his lips against your neck as your fingers massaged his scalp.

His sighs quickly became quiet moans. You couldn’t bring yourself to stop pressing the pads of your fingers on his head.

Five pressed his body against yours, flush against your middle, hips pushing you against the wall.

Against your skin, he said, "Tell me to stop."

"No."

"No what?"

"Don't stop."

He took that as an encouragement to leave a mark on your neck, eliciting a whine from you.

“We gotta be quiet,” he reminded you.

Easier said than done.

He made it even harder by rolling his hips against yours, hands gripping your waist. Five kissed you again, his tongue slid past your lips just as you scratched his nape.

A few questions popped into your head. Where did he learn to kiss? How did he know the way you liked to be kissed? And could he maybe give tips to other guys so you wouldn't be left disappointed every time after him?

As though sensing your distraction, he asked against your lips, “Are you comfortable?”

“No,” you honestly answered. “But this will do.”

“You sure? We can—"

“Don’t you dare.”

He huffed a laugh and briefly pressed his lips against yours. “Very well...” Five dragged his hands down to your thighs. "Push your hips forward."

You did as you were told, making it easier for him to undo your jeans and pull them down. He grabbed at your thighs, sighing as his palms finally made contact with the soft skin there.

His fingers brushed the waistband of your panties, and in consequence your belly. "Is it okay if I take these off too?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

He softly pulled on them, as though scared he would tear them off. He probably would, the material was soft, and light to avoid any ventilation issues.

For a while, he just caressed your thighs, barely grazing your center. It was unnerving, but not unwelcome. Eventually, he reached where you needed him the most.

He parted your folds with his fingers. You gasped as he traced your slit and pursed your lips to keep quiet as he brushed your clit.

He slipped a finger into your pussy, eyes on you as he used the thin line of light sneaking in through the one to gauge your reaction. He breathed out a laugh — it sounded more like the type of smile one lets out while talking on the phone.

"Wish I could take my time with you," he admitted. "But I don't want to ruin your back." Saying that, he started pumping his finger inside you.

You had never been the quiet type, much less when being fingered, but the prospect of being caught by people who were already worried both of you would steal from them was exhilarating.

Five added a second finger, prompting you to quickly bring a hand of yours to cover your mouth. He leaned his forehead against the back of your hand, aiding you.

Your chest mirrored the rhythm of the rise and fall of his own. His free hand steadied you as he pushed harder into you, curling his fingers inside you.

You really wished you could see him, and perhaps that he could see how much pleasure he was bringing you. There was no doubt he could tell, but you had observed him for long enough to know he liked to watch.

Another godforsaken thing in common.

Lifting his head, he briefly let go of your body to pull your hand away from your mouth. His lips replaced your hand as he kissed you roughly, biting your bottom lip in the process.

"Help me out of these, will you?" he whispered.

You asserted he was talking about his trousers. He kissed you as you unbuttoned and unzipped his pants — you pulled them down, touching his clothed cock by mistake. He stopped moving his fingers inside you and made a sound in your mouth.

Instead of apologizing, now you intentionally touched his cock, grabbing it from on top of his underwear. Five broke the kiss and hissed.

"I'm gonna get them out of the way, okay?"

"Yeah," he quickly answered.

Once his cock was free, you slowly wrapped your hand around it. Giving it a gentle squeeze, you felt it throb; Five sighed.

Taking your time, —because although your feet were starting to hurt, you had many minutes to spare— you leisurely stroked his shaft. He resumed fingering you, trying to prove he could focus better than you.

You sped up, firmly squeezing his cock as you moved your fist up and down. The problem was, he sped up too and he had an advantage: he could easily keep his balance while standing up no matter what, he was probably used to jerking off standing up in the shower or something.

Your legs hurt, not only because the space was tight, but because you were tight around his fingers too and he showed you no mercy. You hated that he seemingly knew you so well.

Oh, well, you could accept defeat if you got to come.

Five kissed you softly, dragging his lips to your chin, then your jaw. He went slightly up to your ear and nipped at it. "Can't wait any longer," he whispered, giving you goosebumps.

Withdrawing your hand from his cock, you found yourself missing the weight on your hand. Soon, he pulled his fingers out of you and cruelly, noisily, licked them. With a satisfied hum, Five teased you by pressing the tip of his cock against your pussy.

The teasing was, thankfully, brief. "Are you ready? We can stop if you want."

"I'm ready," you assured him.

He didn't need convincing. Pushing his cock in, he growled. You did your best to only whimper lowly, to keep yourself from telling him to hurry up and fuck you — you didn't trust your voice or the things your loose tongue could spill as long as he moved.

And move he did, sure you weren't hurting and sure he wouldn't come by the second pump, Five pushed his hips forward, driving his cock deep into you.

As he sped up, you wrapped your arms around his neck, scared either of you would hit your head. With the same intention of avoiding an injury, Five firmly held your hips, digging his fingers into your skin as he fucked you.

There was no rhythm, no alternative either in the way he fucked you. The space was what it was, you couldn't fault him for the latter, but you wondered if, perhaps, he had thought about this before, if the lack of rhythm and the harsh way he was fucking you meant something more, or if you were merely getting too hung up on the fact that he knew how to fuck you just right.

He didn't treat you like couldn't take it as many did, there was no assumption on his behalf that you hadn't been fucked like this before, and he used it to his advantage. Five nipped at your skin, grabbed your body, and hammered into you with the presumption that this was how it was supposed to be.

And it was. You wished more people understood that.

You also wished he wasn't good at that. But he was, and he had you so close to the edge with just his cock that you kissed him so you wouldn't start babbling about it.

He smiled against your mouth because he knew.

Needing to breathe, you parted from his soft lips, letting a string of saliva hanging between your mouths, and admitted you were close. He didn't need that, or any other confirmation for that matter, but he didn't comment on it.

He fucked you through your orgasm, bringing you into his chest so you would muffle your moans with his skin as he wrapped an arm around your neck and covered his mouth.

Again, you wished you could see him. His hair must have been a mess and his face red. You could picture it, and it startingly got you to come.

He thrust in and out a few more times, before parting from you and pulling out. You could tell he was finishing himself off with his hand by the sound of his wet cock against his dry fist. Kissing him, you swallowed his grunts and moans.

Something warm coated your thighs. They must have looked pretty painted with his cum. You didn't stop kissing him, prompting him to grab you by the back of the head and give you the longest kiss you had ever been given.

Hesitant, you pulled away to finally catch your breath which mingled with his as you both breathed against each other.

"Do you have anything I can clean myself up with?"

"Uh... let me see." He went through his pocket. "It's gonna feel weird. I only have a convenience store receipt."

"It's better than walking around with cum on my skin."

"Is it?" he jokingly asked.

"Yes, you ass."

The paper was rough against your skin as Five did his best to clean you up.

In silence, you both fixed yourselves up. What happened would probably be obvious to anybody, there was no way to make yourself look presentable in the dark and without a mirror.

The thin strip of light disappeared. You pulled your cellphone from your pocket and tried to use it as a flashlight, but it was dead.

"Let's give it a few minutes," Five suggested. "Twenty, maybe."

"I have no way of measuring time."

"Counting seconds might help."

You didn't know if he was joking or not. He probably was, because his hands roamed your body until he found your hips. A bout of pain pierced through you as he hit your nose. "Ouch."

"Sorry. What was it?"

"My nose."

"Oh, I wasn't too far away."

"Please stop."

He whined, surely by mistake.

"Can't you wait fifteen minutes?"

"No."

You almost laughed at that. It would have been funny if your eyes weren't watery and your nose didn't burn.

He persisted, but instead of kissing you on the lips, his own brushed your nose. "It wasn't my intention."

"I get it. I'm not mad."

"Does it hurt?"

"Yup."

"I broke my nose once," he said, voice distant. "Dad was mad because I was supposed to spatial jump before anybody could hit me."

"Were you distracted?"

After a pause, he hummed in affirmation. "I couldn't save everybody that day."

"But you tried."

"Yeah. Only I tried. And it brought me a broken nose and a month grounded."

You put your hands on his and dragged them up his arms until you reached his shoulders. Stopping there for a moment, you considered pulling away. You didn't.

You grabbed his neck, using your thumbs to caress his cheeks. You felt him smile, something so rare you would have thought the world would end any second now.

He dragged his lips down, not before giving your nose another peck, and traced your lips with his, not quite kissing you.

A hand left your hip. A click resonated in the room and you squeezed your eyes shut as harsh light hit you.

"A warning would have been nice."

He didn't answer. Five cupped your cheek in his palm, using his thumb to trace your nose. Slowly opening your eyes, you found him already staring at you.

He tapped your nose with his thumb. "We shouldn't tell anybody about this. I don't need Diego knowing he was right when he said there was sexual tension between us."

"God, no." Did Five Hargreeves just boop your nose?

Not giving you time to say or think anything else, Five kissed you for the last time that evening, trapping your bottom lip between his mouth.

As he, begrudgingly, broke the kiss, he handed you your sweater. "Come on, if we hurry up, we might have time to get a drink later."

You hoped you were able to hide how excited his comment made you feel, but going by the twinkle in his eyes, you hadn’t.

Oh, well, there were worse people to take a liking to.

[ellestra]

I love you - I know

This episode had secret bases with alien tech, said alien, Inhuman Seer and time travel. And yet the part that was hardest to believe is that they just let a layer in. A lawyer that somehow knew they had a prisoner no one was supposed to know about in a base no one heard of and they didn’t simply arrest him for trespassing, kicked him out or at least listened to his talk with Fitz.

You know the one where they mostly insulted each other’s football teams. I feel like this is what they missed about each other. Someone to fight with. About football. And since Fitz is Manchester United fan and Hunter’s team is Liverpool that’s some solid hate there. Also isn’t it funny that Hunter’s most meaningful relationships are all bickering.

Fitz still can’t forgive himself for Framework and who he was there. For Aida and what she did. But most of all for the death of Jeffrey Mace. He wants to be punished for it and his escape is to find the team and Jemma not because he doesn’t deserve jail. I love that he talks to Hunter and catches him up on all that happened since they last saw each other - from the Hive to Framework.

He tells him about his guilt and how he thinks universe is punishing him for it. And Lance is the one whose there to tell him  he can’t blame himself for all of this. and that everyone has a dark side and that it’s how you use it and deal with it that matters. This is why that scene when they reenact Empire Strike Back Han and Leia scene it’s both funny because Fitz is getting frozen but also moving because it’s true. (BTW all these Star Wars references in the week after The Last Jedi premiered - movie connections - not just for Marvel any more.)

I loved that Fitz got the guys who arrested him and put him in a black site to not only let him work on the project of finding the team but also give him access to football. And even sent fan rage letters to the Ballbuster Hooligan fanzine. Of course it was code to let friends know where he is but no codebreakers could figure it out. And Lance was in Bangladesh where they didn’t carry any copies. Good thing he checked once he realised Fitz was missing.

Lance and Bobbie were at the moment on the distance is their saviour part of the relationship so he came to get hugs from his BFF. He and Bobbie might be 100% compatible 50% of the time but they make it work. And I’m not just taking about almost got married again if it wasn’t for the ninjas. I mean they end up taking care of Robin and her mom together.

So the prophecy existed before the Team were sent into the future. It’s not just that Fitz and Hunter discovered when they went and told others to wait for them. It was an actual prophecy that got them sent there. And the Seer who got them sent there is the daughter of the Inhuman with the visions of death.

Robin’s gift, while acquired way too early, is not as traumatic as her father’s. He’s not only showed only deaths of random, if somehow connected people but also got activated by any touch so he couldn’t touch or even be close to any person as they’d both be seeing deaths. And they were unavoidable.  Robin sees all of the past, present and future but she also seems to be able to see the ways out of extension level event so good for humanity and our little planet. I wonder if she is still alive 74 years later.

Fitz gets depressed about his and Jemma’s faith again but this time he gets his answer from Robin. He wasn’t kept away from Jemma by some curse or his unworthiness. He wasn’t sent with others because he needs to save them.

I loved Fitz uses the they got abducted by an alien as stalling technique but they really were abducted by an alien. Sentient Chronicom anthropologist from Cygnus (just call him Enoch). He’s only involved because prophesy of extinction level event but now that Fitz has been prophesied to go to the future too he can help. And then Fitz and Hunter have to break into the same secret base they escaped to steal that alien’s cryogenic pod. Aliens and black sites hiding alien tech. And SHIELD equipment. And Fitz took all of Coulson’s cool hands with him.

The access to Enoch’s ship and tech explains why Fitz could just walk into that auction and be treated as equal to the others. And for 30 000 year old Enoch waiting 74 years for this to come true was no biggie. We also see that his time freezing device has different time settings (for taking the team it was little over 2 minutes but escaping the soldiers in the park - half an hour. Does this mean he was somewhere near the Lighthouse when Coulson arrived to frozen decompression?

The Lighthouse base in the future is in the present a secret base under a lighthouse at Lake Ontario (build by unknown who knows when or why - another precog work?) - the one from the postcard. And Fitz left that postcard with Robin. And Hunter and Bobbi were keeping her safe. Was Deke’s mother their kid? Or Robin’s? They used to be the only humans knowing the Lighthouse base exist so it’d make sense if they were among survivors.

Also we now know they are not in alternate universe future as Fitz travelled there the slow way. So Daisy didn’t do it as she left when Earth was still intact.

Of course if they go back and change the events then this will become alternative future but still.

And of course if Daisy doesn’t die in the future and comes back she can still destroy the Earth to make this happen. In that case making her fight Sinara to the death is playing with causality.

Talbot is still out of commission and the lady who is running the secret base is not nearly as nice as him. She just shot her two nice, if too trusting, agents.

The alien language Robin uses is not Kree. It’s from another Galaxy and unknown to anyone on Earth - another Star Wars reference or something that will come back later? Maybe someone that commander is preparing to fight?

[howtohero]

#081 List of Handy Excuses (C)

It’s time for another installment of our highly popular list of handy excuses to use when you want to get out of doing something so you can go be a superhero (or like take a nap I guess, these excuses can be whipped out at any time, that’s how good they are) sorted in alphabetical order by job. (I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for this forever, the last one of these was over 40 posts ago. Many of you didn’t even exist 40 posts ago!)

A B D E

Cable Guy

I have to go now, I have an appointment to fix someone’s cable (bonus points if you actually did have an appointment that you’re ditching to fight crime. The more real appointments you miss the more legitimate of a cable guy you are anyway {git-r-done!}).

Caddie

Oh sorry sir looks like you were a little off the mark, I’ll go find your ball for you (and then disappear to go fight crime).

Cage Dancer

I saw on the news that a flash-mob had broken out in a zoo and that’s just relevant enough to me for me to get down there.

Cage Fighter

I saw on the news that a superhero fight had broken out in a zoo and that’s just relevant enough to me for me to get down there.

Cameraman

I’m going to try to get some video footage of those superheroes for my news agency.

I’m going to try to get some video footage of those superheroes, not for my news agency, but to sell online.

Camp Counselor

All right kids, tonight’s exciting night activity is a game called “everybody closes their eyes until you stop hearing the sounds of a giant space crab being beaten up.”

Campaign Manager

I need to go find out who those superheroes and villains are voting for. If any of those heroes are voting for my guy or if any of those space slugs are voting for the other guy it could make for a killer ad.

Candlemaker

I’m going to go begin an apprenticeship at the Safed Candle Factory so that I can truly become a master at my craft.

Honestly man, maybe you should give up the superhero business. It’s beginning to affect your candlemaking work. You’re overworked, overtired and overextending yourself. You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends.

Cantor

Allow me to dazzle these supervillains with the power of song!

Carnie

Beazye eazi’m leazeaveazing

Carpenter

I have to go star in an all carpenter version of Aladdin with musical numbers that include “Magic Carpent Ride” and “Joist Like Me”

Cartoonist

If I don’t provide my legions of fans four panels of comicy goodness they’ll riot

I Ii II I_

I just heard somebody refer to a cartoonist as somebody who makes animated cartoon and I must go correct them!

Cashier

Hey that masked bad guy just walked out of this store without paying for any of the snacks he wanted for his evil road trip, if I don’t stop him that money is going to come out of my paycheck and since he took three (3) bags of chips that’s the whole thing plus!

Catcher

I’m going to go stand behind the bad guy and call out plays for the superheroes.

I saw that there was a superhero wearing a domino-mask so I’m going to go and lend him my catcher’s mask because even that would do a better job of concealing his identity.

Catfisherman

I was catfishing this guy and it turned out that he wasn’t a regular guy but really he was a supervillain trying to catfish me and also he’s robbing a bank now so I’m going to go beat him up.

Cellist

I have to go hit the gym to build the muscle mass I need to actually lift my instrument of choice.

Remember FAO Schwarz? The toy store? With the giant piano on the floor? Yeah so I’ve been thinking a lot about that piano and… Do you think my cello would be like an in-scale violin with that piano? And I know they closed down a few years ago but that piano has to be somewhere right? Yeah so I’m going to go on an epic quest to go find it so I can see what my cello looks like next to it. (And then instead you go smack around a vampire or whatever with your cello, like a hero.)

CEO

I’m off to fly my golden helicopter to the golf course on the island that I own, nobody call me.

Honestly, CEOs mostly fight crime at night when they aren’t expected to be anywhere else so they don’t really need any excuses.

CFO

Just get fired for embezzling, then you can do whatever you want with your time.

Chairman

Just got a whole new shipment of chairs in. They’re gonna need some quality sitting in I mustn’t be disturbed for several hours. (I don’t know what chairmen do.)

Chauffeur

I have to go contemplate why “chauffer” is pronounced with an “sh” sound, if you need me I’ll be in my chateau.

I have to go sit in a car while my employer enjoys a very long, very lavish meal in a fancy restaurant. But don’t worry about me, I’ve got a bag of chips.

Cheerleader

I’m going to go spur on my favorite superheroes with the power of cheer!

Chef

I have to go contemplate why- oh, we did this one already.

Man I bet those superheroes are going to be super hungry after they fight off that inter-dimensional octoman. I’d better whip them up something that will take me a very long time to cook.

Chemist

I’m bored of this singles mixer so I’m going to go back to my lab and have a mixer of my own. (That’s when a chemist goes and mixes random chemicals together to see what’ll happen. Fun fact: several superhero origins involve this kind of mixer.)

Chess Master

If you were any good at your job you’d have set things into motion months ago to ensure that you could leave all your gatherings to fight crime. You don’t need our help.

Clarinetist

I’ve gotta go kick a sea-sponge’s ass.

Cleaner

Boy those super-folk are making quite the mess if I get down there now maybe someone’ll pay me to clean it.

Clerk

No no no, those super-people are engaging in fisticuffs in a public square without having first filled out forms 42G with the supplementary forms 2AB and 32H to account for the missile-launching mecha and the time-displaced stegosaurus.

Clockmaker

Time for justice (again you’re allowed to reveal that you’re a superhero if you can get a good pun out of it!)

Coach

This ragtag group of superheroes needs someone to whip them into shape! (Bonus points if you then actually act as a superhero mentor to that ragtag group of heroes.)

If you’re at an event with any referees you can just go yell at one of them until you get ejected, then you’re free to do whatever you want for the rest of the night.

Coal Miner

Well, I’m off to go deliver one tenth of all the coal I’ve mined this year to Santa so that he can then redistribute them to naughty children, as all coal miners do every year.

Codebreaker

All you need to is leave a coded message wherever you were supposed to be and by the time your non-codebreaker friends and family members manage to break it you’ll probably already be back (or have died saving the world from Fieron the Sentient Forest Fire).

Colorist (Comic Books)

Did you know that old-timey comic books were printed in black and white? This is an absolute travesty and I am going to single handedly go back and color every single one of them. This will require me to be unavailable for several long extended periods of time.

Colorist (Hair)

I just had this great idea to dye my hair a whole bunch of different colors. This way my own head can act as my resume and people can see how skilled I am at coloring hair. This will probably take a while, nobody need me.

Composer

Ah I wrote some music that would literally be perfect for this battle, I’ve gotta get down there and play it for them.

Comptroller

Just assign one of the many accountants that work under you the responsibility of accounting for your absence.

Computer Scientist

Just hack into whatever database or security system you need to make people think you never even left.  

Construction Worker

Not one of those superheroes are wearing a yellow hardhat and that’s just an accident waiting to happen. I must go down there and hand some out.

I need to go catcall some people.

Conductor

This super-battle is filled with senseless chaos, clearly they need someone like me to step in and bring order to it.

Cook

Do we even need to do this? We have chef listed above. (You insolent buffoon there is a world of difference between a cook and a chef!)

Man I bet those superheroes are going to be super hungry after they fight off that inter-dimensional octoman. I’d better whip them up something that will take me a very long time to cook. Longer than it would take a chef to cook as I have less experience and education in culinary matters.

Copyrighter

I have to go protect some patents (and the city!)

Copywriter

I have to go write some copy (and the city!)

Councilman

Just stand up in the middle of a council meeting and shout “this meeting is adjourned!” ten bucks says nobody fights you on that. [If we are wrong we will not send you ten bucks, or any bucks for that matter.]

Count

Has there ever been a superheroic count? I don’t think so. All the ones I know of are supervillains or blood-sucking vampires… or math-loving vampires.

Crane Operator

I have to go make sure there are some unattended cranes near that superhero fight so some scrappy kids can take control of one and knock out or distract the evil monster at a decisive moment in the battle.

Oh my gosh Karen I swear to god if you make one more joke about me operating a marsh-dwelling, long-necked bird, I am going to leave! (And then just wait for Karen to make another joke, trust me, it’ll happen, she just can’t help herself.)

Cross-Country Skier

For today’s cross-country ski I have decided to cross-country ski where no man, woman or child has cross-country skied before. In fact, if my ski-calculations are correct, no species of animal has ever cross-country skied across this country before. Yes, you guessed it, my destination for today’s cross-country ski is Antarctica, this will take me a very long time. Don’t wait up. (Of course we in the super-community know that Antarctica is one of the top-five destinations for Yeti cross-country skiers but the common-folk don’t know that so shhh.)

Cryptozoologist

Somebody finally got a good picture of El Chupacabra! I have to go and interview them! For science! (The jig is up Chupacabra, we’re coming for you!)

Curator

I have to get down to this super-battle and pick out the best pieces of rubble and dismembered robot parts to showcase in this new exhibit on superheroes/cool rocks/robot parts (you get to choose) that I am curating.

Customer Service Representative

Hey I think that superhero was in here buying a grappling hook the other day. I’m going to go see if he’s happy with his purchase. (Obviously he won’t be because grappling hooks are garbage.)

Cymbal Player

I’ve got to get to marching band practice. Without the loud, yet melodic, cacophony that my instrument produces how will my band earn the attention and envy of marching bands everywhere.

Captain Patriot lost his giant star-spangled discus! If I quickly paint my cymbals do you think he’d like to use them instead?

Tune in next time when we tackle all of the “d” occupations. As always if you know of a job that isn’t represented here by all means contact us! (Or leave a comment, or just, y’know engage with this blog somehow, please, so I know you’re out there.) And don’t hit be all like “Hey! you forgot counselor!” That’s just a fancy term for lawyer so you all have to wait like three years for us to get to “L”. In the meantime just use generic excuses like “I don’t feel comfortable with you asking me all these questions about where I’m always going. I am an adult, I should be allowed to come and go as I please,” or “I am going to take a nap.” 

[abroxus-blog]

Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoiler Discussion

         This isn’t so much a review as it is a discussion of some of the film’s core themes. Overall, I thought the film was excellent. It’s one of my favorite installments in the franchise. Go see it. And once you have, feel free to read this, since I’m going to get into some spoilers.

10/10

           SPOILERS FOR THE LAST JEDI

           The thing that really struck me about the Last Jedi was how thematically rich it was in comparison to previous Star Wars films. While the series has always had a specific formula, with a binary morality system, The Last Jedi blows that up. This is a film that is fundamentally about deconstructing these symbols and asking what they mean today. I think a lot of the divisiveness about the film amongst fans (although not all of it, there are plenty of valid arguments you can make against it), comes down to either frustration that they are being expected to do that, or a disinterest in the exercise as a whole. 

           I have trouble seeing eye to eye with that perspective. I’ve seen arguments stating that the characters are fundamentally in the same place at the end of the film, or that various strands don’t go anywhere, but I think that ignores a lot of what the film is doing. If Star Wars movies have always been about underdogs achieving success against great odds, Last Jedi is fundamentally about failure. This is not just me intellectualizing by the way, the film clearly states that intention, repeatedly, in every one of its storylines. So let’s go through this film narrative strand by narrative strand, and examine what it’s doing here.

           I’m going to start with the film’s most criticized thread, Finn’s journey to Canto Bight in search of the code breaker. When we first meet Finn this time around, he’s acting very much like he did in the first film. He wants to flee from the rebellion ship, not out of disloyalty, but rather fatalism. To Finn, the Rebellion is doomed, and has always been doomed. Even his heroism last film was less about saving the Rebels base, and more about rescuing Rey. Finn sees the merits of individuals, but not of an organization or concept. The film proceeds to pair him with Rose not out of a desire to just include a new love interest, but to place him next to a true believer, someone he would connect with on an empathic level (her own wounds after the death of her sister, portrayed in one of the film’s greatest action beats, make her as much of a wounded soul as Finn himself). Their journey takes them to the Las Vegas of the stars, a tantalizing world of glossy imagery and beautiful looking prosthetic aliens (the most prosthetic creatures in any single set in the history of the franchise).

           Finn is instantly enraptured by the place. Rose, in contrast sees what it really is, a source of oppression and suffering. The horse races hide the torture of sentient animals. Children and slaves are forced to work under the lash to keep up the façade. All of this while the rich gamble away more money in a day than most families will see in a lifetime. Most movies would turn around and look at this and merely state “this is evil”, but this film, wisely, refuses to do even that. When Finn decides to place his revelation into a new binary equation, one which merely condemns the wealthy as villains, Benicio Del Toro’s codebreaker character refuses to play into that illusion. Sure, the gamblers may make money selling arms to The New Order, Rose is right that’s an evil thing to do, but they also supply and in some cases fund the Rebellion. Canto Bight is not the dark side, it is merely opportunism personified. The codebreaker demonstrates that same opportunism when he gives up Finn. Finn meanwhile demonstrated it himself when he attempted to steal an escape pod at the outset. 

           To all the people who say Finn’s arc leads nowhere, that it’s simply a side-adventure intended for little but to provide the character something to do; I point you at the moments when they infiltrate the New Order’s fleet. When the Code Breaker gives them away and Finn yells that he’s wrong that none of this matters, that’s a change! In fact, it’s a complete reversal of who he was at the start. And yet, the film isn’t even done with his arc! We don’t simply go from “opportunistic Han Solo type” to Rebel; the film then asks us what kind of rebel Finn is going to be. When he finally kills Phasma, in a moment of firm rejection of his own past, he returns to the front and instantly uses Poe as a model for his own behavior. His kamikaze attack on the Walker is a clear echo of the bomber run at the start, and Rose’s rescue of him is a completion of her own arc. For them both, it’s realization that one’s role in the rebellion needs to be tempered through interpersonal relationships. Both motivations have to co-exist. The rebellion isn’t simply about destroying the New Order, nor is it about enforcing good. It’s about empathy towards the people around us, whether it’s the horses on Canto Bight, or the enslaved children in need of a symbol of hope, or the rebels fighting to survive against overwhelming odds. It’s not about heroism for the sake of heroism, it’s about protection. In this way, the entire symbol of the Rebellion, what that insignia means exactly, is deconstructed, and reconstructed, so in the end, when the child holds up the ring, it means something new, something bigger and deeper.

           If Finn’s narrative forces that character’s growth through an examination of what the Resistance actually means, than Poe’s is a firm rebuke of the type of heroism Star Wars has always reveled in through a simple, but surprisingly elegant, little character arc. To Poe, heroism is about individualistic action. In the film’s opening segment, Poe is told by his commanding officer to abandon an attack on a battleship, but refuses to do so. Instead, he orders a bombing run on a battle cruiser, an attack that results in the destruction of five crafts but also destroys their target. To Poe, this is a sacrifice, but also a successful moment of heroism. It’s telling that the movie refuses to make the sacrificed soldiers faceless, instead keeping us locked in one of the doomed crafts. It’s a sad but in the end, rousing moment, which is undercut by Leia’s brutal disappointment in Poe’s action. To Leia, five less bombers for future actions, and while the Imperial ship was destroyed, the enemy likely has many more like it. More of those doubtlessly exist than Rebellion bombers.

           When Leia is nearly killed and Holdo takes command, we’re left to expect a very traditional film narrative. In more blockbusters than I can name, our hotshot young lead will break the incompetent chain of command to make the final strike which will turn the tides of war. With the fleet under near constant duress in a lengthy space chase which brilliantly creates a ticking clock around the fact that the Rebellion is underfunded, Poe chooses to send Finn off in an attempt to infiltrate the Star Destroyer and save the day. This places him head to head with Holdo, who, as a viewer primed by dozens of action films, we immediately write off as an overly dismissive empty shirt without a plan. When Poe calls her a traitor, and perpetrates a coup, it’s a rousing moment with our ragtag leads desperately fighting to save the day.

           Instead, the plan fails. Finn is caught and Poe’s coup is taken out, by Leia of all people, one of our original ragtag rebels. It’s easy to go “what was the point of all that”, and well the point is failure. In one of the film’s greatest moments, we just have Leia and Holdo talk about what it means to be a woman and a leader, and we realize that our stuffed shirt had a plan all along, one she kept close to the vest in case the issue was not an electronic tracker, but rather a traitor. Oh, and Poe’s failure not only led to the capture of Rose and Finn, but in turn, leads to the discovery of Holdo’s plan, and the death of nearly half the remaining rebels. And Holdo, who we are primed to believe doesn’t believe in individual heroism, sacrifices herself in one of the film’s most striking shots, not to achieve victory, but to give her people the time they need to escape. It’s a cruel calculus, but as Holdo tells Leia, the need for sacrifice should not be an easy or quick decision, but is sometimes necessary. That’s a lesson they’ve had to learn.  

           Think about what the film is doing for a second. Everything a Star Wars movie has primed us for in the past, a tidy narrative thread, an easy plot progression and a warm embrace of individualistic heroism as a means to win not just a battle, but a WAR, have been rejected. The film has dismissed tidy plotting in favor of thematic questioning and deeper character arcs. The narrative forces Poe to confront his own failure, and in turn, he learns from it. It’s a lesson Leia clearly learned between that initial trilogy and this one, that leadership sometimes involves heroic self-sacrifice, but it can also mean sending off someone to die in order to crawl away, or realizing that the deck is stacked against you. Poe, in turn echoes Leia at the end, ordering Finn not to do what he himself had done at the start before calling a retreat, an escape to reorganize and fight another day. The passing of the baton is codified in his final scene with Leia, when he gives the order to leave, the men look at her, and she says to follow his orders.

           If Finn’s arc led to a re-evaluation of the rebellion, and a personal transformation into a real “rebel”, than Poe’s arc asks us to question our view of heroism, and how these films portray them. The conclusion appears to be that individual heroism is in some contexts important, Holdo’s sacrifice, and later Luke’s MATTER, but that it can’t be at the expense of grander strategy, or of the collective. Losing a dozen lives and five ships in a bombing run to merely take out a target that can be replaced is a waste, as much as we might enjoy the space battle, or the epic action. Losing one to give them the time to escape, that’s real heroism, a willingness to sacrifice oneself not for victory, but for the future. That’s what hope is.

           This takes us to Rey, and the final major story strand of the film, and by far the most complex and interesting. Rey begins this film as a lost and dejected student, but also as someone we as the audience are meant to believe has a grand and dynastic destiny. Many of us believed at the end of the Force Awakens that she was clearly a Skywalker, and that this trilogy will clearly end with her redeeming Kylo Ren and killing Snoke in an echo of the finale of the Return of the Jedi. But first, we thought, she must seek the help of Luke, who will clearly teach her the ways of the force like Yoda did.

           Instead the film pivots to the side in an incredible rebuke of the franchise as a whole, one that doubtlessly infuriated some fans, when Luke takes this symbol of the franchise, his lightsaber from everyone’s two favorite installments, and tosses it over his shoulder and walks away. We later learn that Rey, who we assume must be connected to the characters we know and love, came from nothing. She’s just… Rey. Rian Johnson proceeds to fundamentally dismantle the notion that the Force can be understood as a fight between Good and Evil, with the Jedi on one side and the Sith on the other. In one of the film’s greatest moments, he has Luke deconstruct the entire notion of the Jedi. If there is a force that connects all things, one that requires a balance of the light and the dark, and you were lucky enough to be able to feel it inside of you, understand it deep in your soul, and put out your mind and touch it, what hubris is required for you to think that you should control it and bend it to your will in order to do anything, whether good or evil. It’s so much bigger than any Jedi or any Sith, and the temptation to abuse it is to strong.

          In fact, Rey, upon seeing the dark force hole beneath the ground, is instantly tempted towards it, not out of evil, but curiosity. This terrifies Luke, who urges her not to explore it, ignoring that his own evolution required him to confront the dark within his own soul. Rey, in turn, is changed by confronting the Dark side, but also by doing so, is able to see it for what it is.

          The film de-exoticizes the dark side. In the Prequels the Dark Side is a fountain of youth, and that power is corrupting. In this, more interestingly, it is a false salve for broken souls. The Last Jedi asks if being a Jedi should be more than abstinence from the Dark and in turn, contrition, but rather should involve confronting it, exploring it, and through that process recognizing that it’s empty. That the Dark Side is portrayed as a mirror which reflects only what Rey puts into it is a striking metaphor. The endless reflection seems to promise that at the end there is meaning, but when she wills herself to see the front of the line, it is just another mirror. There is no deeper meaning there, only an endless and selfish self-examination. In the end, its emptiness will only leave you disappointed and broken, like it has left Kylo Ren. For me, that seems a particularly strong symbol for the uselessness of rage and petty vindictiveness. Frankly, it also works really well as a metaphor for substance abuse. 

          The Dark Side as a salve ties into the scenes where Kylo and Rey are connected. Those bits are charged with anger and rage, but also a sexual energy that hasn’t really been visible in the series before. That their plot culminates in a moment with the two of them, sweaty, back to back, swinging phallic blades in a vaginal red room in a desperate effort to free themselves of darkness is so on the nose that Freud would probably orgasm watching it.

          For Rey, the dark side is tempting, but she chooses to reject it because of her need to protect others and live outside of herself. Kylo, in turn, is provided the same choice as Vader had at the end of Return of the Jedi, and chooses the opposite path, embracing the Dark Side. I think a lot of why that is comes down to motivation. For Vader, the Dark side was a path towards a power that he believed could help others, but it provided no such ability, only further self-deterioration. His transformation was a gradual path into sin, one that provided him with no rewards but empty power. Kylo Ren, in contrast, is a product of abuse, his embrace of the Dark Side comes from an internal rage and emptiness that are inherently part of his being, one that has likely always existed, but was perpetuated when he believed that his own trusted father figure had both rejected and considered killing him. The Dark Side, to Kylo Ren, provides a sense of meaning, an ability to violently erase the past and create a new future. He sees himself as the forest fire that will burn down the trees and leave the soil ripe to grow something new. In truth, as much as he claims he wants to “kill the past”, he is completely stuck in it.

           This is a very different view of the Dark and Light side than we’ve seen before. It’s much less attuned to some religious binary of good and evil, and more in line frankly with what leads to real heroism and abuse. That the dark side and systemic abuse is linked in this film with violence against animals is in line with that. The light-side requires co-existence, as we see with Luke as he lives alongside the caregivers and drinks milk from the cow creatures who willing share it. He fishes yes, but only to eat what he requires. The Porg meanwhile co-exist in every crevice as urban animals, ones who can create their home on the Millennium Falcon, nestled in little nests in the nooks and crannies. To Rian Johnson, they are not pests to be eliminated, but the same life the Force represents.

           Let’s talk about Luke, possibly the most divisive aspect of this film. It would be easy to say that Luke has become the “dejected martial arts master” trope, and there is some truth to that, but his reason for being that way are more interesting than the traditional model. It’s true that trope is built on the idea that your first apprentice turned evil and that in turn you are unwilling to train a new one, BUT, and this is a big but, in the traditional narrative the Master is, in the end, innocent of any transgression except ignoring the warning signs. One can look at Obi-Wan’s failure to notice Anakin’s fall in the prequels as a traditional example of that narrative. Luke initially pitches that version of Kylo’s origins to Rey, but we later learn that Luke had a “do you kill baby Hitler” moment where he considered murdering his newphew, a lapse in judgment which led to Ben’s rejection of his master and embrace of the dark side. The rise of the First Order and Han’s death are, by extension, partially his fault. It is that failure, more than any other lesson, which teaches Rey what she needs to know.

          Yoda and Luke’s conversation about failure and the need to step aside for the next generation is a distillation of what this arc is about. The next generation has the capacity to outgrow you and learn from your mistakes. Rey can be a great Jedi Master because, in the end, Luke was both a great and a flawed one. She learns that even the Jedi are imperfect individuals who contain both light and dark. In the end though, the light side contains hope, and the dark side cynicism and nihilism. Kylo Ren has no hope that people can change or become something more than their origins, Rey, who came from nothing, but has become someone powerful, knows that’s untrue. To Rey, there is always hope. That hope is, as Poe says, the spark that lights the rebellion.

           A lot of people don’t like how this arc plays out since they feel it cancels out Luke’s heroism from the original trilogy, or believe that Rian Johnson is rejecting what the Jedi are supposed to mean. I think, in contrast, the director just sees good and evil as more complicated concepts. To him, a cackling villain like Snoke is a dull one, and his off-handed killing of what we assumed was the big-bad is a rejection of that mustache-twirling concept. In turn, he refuses to portray his heroes as paragons.

         Luke, as flawed as he is, is still a hero. Rian Johnson knows that the audience wants to see him use the force to destroy all of those walkers, or beat down Kylo Ren. Instead he portrays the opposite. Luke merely gives the rebellion a chance to escape by talking to Kylo and trying to teach his student a final lesson. He tells his nephew the truth, that his actions will only ever cause him pain while the hope that lives on in the Rebellion and is visible in Rey is more powerful than his rage. You can’t squelch that hope. The spark will always light. The Jedi will always continue. The film does this in a moment that codifies Luke Skywalker as a legend. He finds victory by admitting his failure, by apologizing and by embracing the future at the expense of himself. And that acceptance, allows him to pull off the most incredible piece of Force-use in the franchise, a “galaxy-spanning feat of astral projection that exemplifies his power”. It’s a soaring moment of character vindication, an impossible act that uses up so much of his spirit that it erases him from existence, although you can see a final moment of hope in his face and a sad recognition of where he came from as he sees the twin moons of tatooine set in his mind’s eye. I found his goodbye, and what it says about the franchise and where it’s going from here, surprisingly moving.

           The Last Jedi is a near-perfect film thematically and from a character perspective. It has flaws otherwise. Like most of the films in the series it relies on a heavy use of coincidence. Some of the jokes don’t hit. It can be clumsy from a plotting perspective. There are moments of cheese in here that are either going to work for you or won’t. Leia’s reflexive use of the force to fly to safety struck me as especially problematic. It’s also a long film, and jumps between its three narratives so frequently that at times it can appear narratively disjointed, even if the various threads are on-track. This is partially because the order in which we watch events are clearly not the order in which they happen. Finn’s entire story takes place in about 20 hours in a single day, while Rey’s, in comparison, takes place over nearly a week. The cross-cutting is a narrative device, not a temporal one. I also think the film’s refusal to accede to narrative convention, and desire to really examine what the Jedi, heroism and Rebellion mean today, can also be deeply jarring to people who expected a more traditional follow-up to the crowd pleasing Force Awakens.

           I see some issues in the film, and can nitpick various aspects to death, but the first time through, all I felt was joyous. I was so happy that Rian Johnson took these myths seriously. I felt ecstatic that he felt the desire to make sure that all four of our principal characters were given their due, while still fleshing out the universe in new and surprising ways. I like that the movie expanded the worlds, made them feel larger, and added stuff at the periphery that can be explored in the future by other writers and directors. Most importantly, I found the film to be a whole lot of fun. 

           It left me, for the first time since I was a child, deeply invested in this universe and where it goes. While I’m interested to know whether Solo will be any good, and feel excited to see what JJ does with Episode 9, I’m far more enthusiastic to see what Rian Johnson will do with his new blank-slate trilogy going forwards. That all three are coming up soon in the next few years, and are exciting in such different ways, is a terrific place to be as a fan.

[qubodeathscreen]

uhhhhhhggggg ...not exactly?? :(

“Well, that’s just great..”

“Oh.. that’s okay! Do you know, like, anything about this place?”

[qubodeathscreen]

GASPPPPP NEW GUYS HIHIHIHIHI!!!!!

“Hi hi hi! Okay, so, like, me and my friends here are sort of really-“

“Do ya know the way outta here, or what?”

[qubodeathscreen]

OH JESUS-

“Wow, RUDE!! In front of our new friend, too??”

Codebreak rolled up into a ball, and tackled Denny at full speed with a spin dash, knocking them into the wall. Byte zoomed over and held them down. The vampire attempted to slash him with their claws and bite him, despite having no mouth to even bite with.

“GARDENER, GET THE HELL OVER ‘ERE!”

<p>DENNYDIALOGUE3:’DON’T YOU DARE THINK THIS IS OVER. YOU CAN FREE EVERY VESSEL WE HAVE, IT CHANGES NOTHING. WE’RE *WATCHING*, NICHOLAS. ALL OF YOU. WE’RE WATCHING EVERY-.’</p>

Gardener cut the purple strings attached to their arms and neck with their knife, and “Denny” went silent. Byte let go of them, and they collapsed to the floor, as limp as a ragdoll. He tried to shake them a bit, but they still didn’t respond, or even move.

“….Were.. y-you two close?”

“Nah. Well… Used ta be, a while back.”

…

Leafy started to draw something in her sketchbook..

[qubodeathscreen]

*the anon that got their glasses removed just kind of sits there, eyeless, before exploding*

CB dropped his rings upon getting hit by the blast, and quickly scrambled to pick them all back up. Thankfully, the explosion was able to actually get the door to break down. Slimy Sal was just.. staring. The other vessels got up a minute or two after the explosion.

The room was full of giant, liquid filled tubes, most of them having people or creatures inside them.. except one, that was broken open and empty. Some of the vessels inside were missing parts, as if they were incomplete.

[qubodeathscreen]

buwomp

Everyone just stared at the anon for a second. Codebreak started to approach.. “..hmmm..”

..He then attempted taking off their sunglasses.

[qubodeathscreen]

Oh, Maybe inside.. But I'd need a description of who I'm teleportimng and their names. Well, Really just their names but it wouldn't hurt to have a mental image too.

NS seemed to be looking at the three a lot, Mostly at Byte though. He could tell it was probably the one he'd need to worry about morst, So he'd try to not get on its nerves.

So, Does anyone have a plan for when we're all together?

-NS

“Okay.. One of them is Nuustard Dude, or I guess Nick Solidago. His skin is all yellow, and he has a gray jacket on, with a blue scarf. Then there’s Slimy Salvatore, he’s some kind of weird, cartoonish sea creature. He’s all blue, with two dark blue things sticking out from his head, like bunny ears. The last one is Leafy, she’s not human, we don’t really know what they are. They have greenish skin, and really long green hair that has pink tips, and he’s wearing a lot of red.”

“Ooh, I have a plan!”

“UGH, can’t ya just shut the hell up already, kid?! I get ya wanna die or whateva, but all yer doin’ is wastin’ our damn time!”

“Come on, it’s a good plan! And I told you, I always come back to life! Can’t you just trust me for once?”

[qubodeathscreen]

Well, I mean, I just fixed my glasses with a wish, So they aren't disabled. And besides, I just ran face first into what I assume is concrete, Whoevers after you has to be smarter than that, And if they aren't then you wouldn't be so on edge.

NS must've been in a shitty mood, He was cutting right to the chase for a lot of things

Alright. So, One problem though, I already tried to teleport myself out and that didnt work, So I guess its limited but not gone. Whats the plan, Whos the leader, And what do I do to help? I could give everyone hot cocoa.

And so he did. He snapped his fingers and the cups appeared.

-NS

“Leader’s me.”

“He’s lying, it’s Gardener. Thanks for the cocoa, by the way!”

Byte growled, and attempted to throw his hot chocolate at Codebreak, but she caught it.

Gardener seemed a bit surprised for a moment, but seemed to accept it. They took a sip of hot chocolate. “..There isn’t really much of a plan, we’re just trying to meet up with the rest of the vessels and find an exit. You think you could teleport everyone to the same place?”

[qubodeathscreen]

NS appears in front of the three, Before faceplanting into the wall as he had been teleported midsprint. He groaned and gripped his face before noticing the three and quickly gaining his composure

Where am I?

-NS

“Woah, another one already?? People sure are popping in a whole lot..”

”You’re in the Facility. It’s basically like a prison, to put it simply.”

“Yeah, ‘cept if prison was fulla lame twerps instead of real criminals! It blows!”

[qubodeathscreen]

Meanwhile, in another section of the facility…

“Ugh.. can ya remind me why we aren’t just blastin’ our way outta this place already?! This’s so damn boring!”

”That could make the whole building collapse in on itself, killing us all…”

“Hey, I have an idea! Start punching me in the face really hard! Just trust me on this, I’ve got a totally foolproof plan.”

The masked figure was about to punch the shadowy hedgehog, but the one in the leather jacket facepalmed, and pushed him away.

“CB, we aren’t killing you to escape, either. Just... Nuustard said he’d have everything figured out, right? We should just.. trust him. I’m sure we’ll get out of here, and we’ll be fine..”

They looked around, at the different rooms and paths. The damn place was like a maze!

“..Eventually..”

“..You ever get the feeling that you’re being watched?” Byte, Gardener, and Codebreak are now available for asks!