#the song doesn’t lyrically fit him 100% but it’s the vibes that made this piece possible

[missattau]

“somebody stepped inside your soul, little by little they robbed and stole, til someone else was in control”

[sugar-petals]

Hey Caro ☺️ I just took your super m quiz - thanks for making such a fun quiz, I feel like it helped me get into super m! I know nothing about them yet but I thought it fit soo well that I got Kai bc I’m a full time dancer - now you have me super curious about him 👀👀

KAI :: INTRODUCTION MASTERPOST (dance focus)

so you wanna know about the god of k-pop choreo? oh yeah, i’ll talk to you about fucking kai! if you dance, this guy is the #1 must-know. once you see him move, there’s no going back. i don’t exaggerate: kai is the gold standard. brace yourselves, i’ll show you why.

kim kai aka kim jongin (27) is a solo artist and super m’s plus exo’s main dancer — est 2019 and 2012 respectively — heading either group with a passionate, hyper-physical style that roots in his early practice of of jazz dance and ballet. the influence definitely shows. 

learning choreography, he’s become the gorgeous fusion of emotional grace and explosive power that unites both tension and extreme accuracy. while at the same time: never sacrificing his interpretation. and HOW MUCH HE BLEEDS FOR HIS CRAFT. he enjoys it so much. 

and he’s communicating it 100%, jongin’s dance is so interactive and raw, luring. i swear to god, put the seatbelts on for this one. it’s never just him, it’s you as well. you’ve never seen this before. he’s like “yes, i meant you, i’m looking at you”:

he’s even gonna modify the choreography to point right at you to underline that very thought. he’s so good, he can learn it, ace it, epitomize it, and do his own thing anyway. even the person in the last row will get whatever point kai wants to make. this is dance that belongs on the biggest stages.

even when he films without a crowd, it’s like you’re literally standing opposite to him. he focuses on two people: his moves, and the viewer. he has it look like you made him smile and self-aware, or you made him determined. INCREDIBLE. he shows his charisma, BUT he also shows your own (!) impact on him. it’s a duet. he wants you to join him on the dancefloor. this is from exo’s call me baby mv where kai does his famous come-hither:

he flirts and he encourages. he values the audience and wants them to be confident as well. i think it’s the reason why he’s so outstanding and addictive, kai thinks beyond himself. it’s a tango he involves you in with his eyes and how he opens his body, interprets a lyric.

it’s not about imposing himself going one way. instead: he plays the back and forth ALL. THE. TIME. in any context. whether it be frivolous, or fun, or gloomy, or sweet. even with a simple little smiley wink it’s happening. and he acts like you had a reaction to it. there’s literally just a camera.

this guy’s physique, strength, elegance, feeling for the beat, character portrayal (!), and control is unbelievable. he’s destroyed it in every fancam out there. he can’t switch it off even if he tried. your eyes would go toward him in the largest group formation still. put him in the center, that’s his spot, he showcases it.

because he doesn’t just show learned moves, he makes it radiate something dynamic and animalistic (he embodies superm’s ‘tiger inside’ all the way). 

jongin’s dance says: i love this, you love this, let’s do this, the feeling is right. he makes bodies and unrestrained touch the opposite of wrong, he pronounces it a source of having fun and being instinctual. and he never breaks the tie with you throughout, and uses his shoulders and lips to put the oomph into it. 

he uses innuendo and a ‘we both know’ sentiment perfectly as an invitation rather than just going through his routine. that’s how he can make each move fascinating. you can tell kai knows exactly how to make everyone scream their lungs out. i bet somebody held their breath just reading this post already.

exo’s most famous choreo is ‘monster’ (kai focus linked) with good reason: jongin can turn himself into nothing short of a roaring beast. it’s one sharp, complex move after the other. kai can bend any gravitational law he wants to show any feeling and pose he wants. a glimpse:

now, how to spot him in general if you’re new to him? here are some pointers. kai’s execution is clean, fast, and powerful. those are two decades (!) of experience showing. kai is an all or nothing dancer, he plays no games. he treats every group and solo stage like his best and last. his work ethic is beyond words. yeah, he’s a capricorn. his style is direct as can be, working every axis.

as you can see, jongin is hard to overlook anyway: he’s a 182cm giant made of steel. he strives to acutely visualize impact in his style and it is always successful. in fact, it’s his signature. it’s like he creates invisible objects and pushes through them. boom, he just burst another bubble.

when the song gets to his part, i guarantee you won’t miss him and all the boldness and expression he brings to enrich the performance. hell... he carries it. jongin can handle the center, i’m telling you. (look how fast he rotates here)

talking features — this is what to look for when he dances in a group setting: you can recognize kai’s face by how wide, bluntly structured and sensual it is. jongin is a sight. he has such an aura, serious, sultry, and smiling alike.

with a very recognizable silhouette (like... holy hell!):

he’s very cute as well ♡ the fandom and kai himself have an adorable analogy going on. jongin calls himself a teddy/nini bear and we joined in on it. (i made a thread about it here, it talks more about his offstage life) — hence kai’s fans are called eri-gom, eris as in exo’s fanbase and gom meaning bear. 

and i mean. look at him. what an attractive guy. he’s that handsome. strong brows, teddy eyes, square jaw, swept hair, glorious lips, tan skin. 

now yes, something important concerning his appearance and a serious topic: i don’t want to list you the endless instances of colorism that kai has to endure but it has to be mentioned. jongin has been called every name in the book and people agonize him over his skin incessantly. it goes on and on and on. every day a new terrible comment about him emerges because some pitiful person thought it was funny and would elevate them. 

he’s had to deflect, ignore, reframe, defend, remotivate, assert, harden, prove, denounce, and push himself, protect his confidence, decline skin bleaching constantly, laugh along, dance and practice thrice as hard to get the respect, and still see his dignity torn to pieces all day. i’ll just give it to you straight, that’s all fucked up. kai’s skin is perfect, he’s amazing and wonderful. 

in his own words:

— exactly right. say it even louder.

having him at the bottom of every joke is weird and messed up. this man is an utter beauty and nothing has to be fixed. it is up to him to define himself rather than get called ugly for his skin’s appearance by default, and get whitewashed at every opportunity. it’s been going on for 27 years, he scrunitizes himself all the time and doesn’t look at himself fondly because he hears these beatdowns daily.

it’s heartbreaking that this happens literally with no end in sight (’kai is just a stripper!’... ‘he has bad vibes’... ‘darkest guy jongin!’). for his skin, and how he decides to show it, too. jesus christ his skin looks fantastic, end of debate. they just can’t handle him, kai couldn’t be any more immaculate.

♡

jongin has vigorously protected fans from discrimination, bullies, and shaming himself whenever it came up. in a very straightforward and deadpan manner because he knows exactly how it damages you. (”J” in the subtitles = jongin, he’s wearing the plain white top at the very back)

we need to protect and praise him that way right back. it’s important.

so, needless to say. all in for jongin getting the center stage he deserves. because he has the wow factor in every regard. kai usually opens an MV because there’s no better way to get people’s attention with that level of presence. with kai, you can’t go wrong. if you get the center in a an all star group like superm, you are the king.

being part of that presence, kai’s stage alter ego has reached levels of infamity you can’t even imagine. it’s great to see him being sovereign without apology.

and it doesn’t stop there. he shows time and again that acting, props, and commanding the audience has to be mastered to be an exceptional dancer. kai owns his sex appeal. sometimes, he even dances a portion of choreo with his eyes closed because he’s feeling it so much.

he is a pro in using his surroundings as well, superm’s stages are a glorious opportunity for kai to show how he comfortably ‘lives in’ the 3D space around him.

which makes the viewer do the same: watching kai makes you feel amazing, energized, but also serene and enjoying the moment. 

there’s always balance. it’s the magic of it. e.g. he comes along with so much impetus and decisiveness but eventually, he halts to offer himself. here i am — take me. i’m yours. closed arms, open arms. walking, kneeling. looking down, looking up.

kai goes every extra mile there ever was and makes each eye contact count. involving the audience, one grin at a time. it works. it’s about establishing contact. he connects to the onlooker with so much nuance. 

kai’s smirk is notorious and you can see why it’s so raw and real: he makes it linger. it’s such a duality since his dancing says i’ll come over, while his message is come and get me, i know what’s on your mind.

with a hilarious twist – kai expertly uses humor. you don’t get that in many dancer repertoires. i love it. all those quick expression changes. his smile! 😊 what a man.

so — what makes him so good and known: yes, his style doesn’t deny that dancing and eroticism are one in his business. that takes courage. kai has it. iconic performances have been his reward. point dance/killing part: exo’s love shot choreo. 

that suit has swept the nation. what’s more: kai shows you it’s more than just good hip movement that a good dancer needs. he does everything at once, he puts the pleasure on his face, all his limbs are following the template he chooses.

the thing is. kai couldn’t be any shyer, but when the music starts he becomes a oscar-winning madman. he emotes constantly (!) and stays in character. this is gold.

jongin always plays it up. he knows how to use that face and does a lot of power posing. this is how visceral looks like. he’s interpreted exo’s aggressive concepts to a T.

and he has so. much. fun. it propels him. on every beat.

past every hurt, heartbreak and injury, man. if you know about his genre you knew this was coming, kai does all of that with 4 herniated discs. since debut days, never recovered. every gif in this thread, he dances with a battered spine. wheelchairs, stage collapses, relapse-recovery-schedule tales, the dilemma of injuries being inevitable, limping, kai falling into depression during breaks, constant pain killers, countless tears on stage, we’ve seen it all, the extreme end of it. 

kai works out like hell to literally keep his body from falling apart. but it doesn’t help the nerves in his back that are impacted. doing choreo you can sometimes literally see the pain kicking in and he pulls himself through with force for the last minute. once you know how strained his back is, you can see it.

at the end his expression goes fuck now it’s coming when the adrenaline fades. he takes every second-pause he gets to rest but still finishes each move. even when he holds back, he keeps it together and executes each turn. sometimes, he has to restrict himself and soften his movements to protect his health (especially in hard choreographies such as lucky one which is universally disliked by exo — still jongin makes the very best of it smiling bright and dancing so hard his sleeves come off).

he frequently states he ‘dances in any case unless his legs are affected by something’. all torso injuries are fair game, this guy is hardcore. and people claim he’s just pretending. chen (a fellow exo member) says not a single part of jongin’s body is intact. he has paid every price to get this far to follow his love. he’ll step on stage with crutches. he works SO HARD.

that being said: exo being called the official nation’s group, i say kai is the nation’s dancer. period. he has had his great moment at the korean olympics flawlessly dancing in a hanbok with traditional instruments and fulfilling his dream. 

i love the tension and drama he can bring. he can also thrill with slow, vulnerable movements alike.

kai’s is called a legend, he’s all that and even more. the facial expressions alone are feared by any kai stan because they hit home. 

this guy is a sex icon and goes off like a gun, messing around was never kai’s incentive. 

while at the same time being incredibly nuanced and so, so descriptive with his movements.

point dance: baby don’t cry. yep, kai has danced in water. must-watch.

this man loves what he is doing. he said he wouldn’t regret to die on stage because dancing is his destiny. boy, it shows. this guy has found his purpose. he can tell any story he wants. he’s a complete artist.

he’s perfectly portraying his incentive and he couldn’t look any more like a god on earth.

long story short, kai is dance and motivation goals. if you dance professionally, you can easily look toward him for the right words.

if you want to further your study and knowledge: he released a self-titled solo album recently. highly recommended. he worked forever on it, and he’s really dishing it on there. you get to hear his soft voice plus sizzling footwork. and he isn’t even getting started yet. you’ll hear from kai, i promise. he constantly achieves new levels of artistic perfection.

a last remark. jongin is amazing for a myriad of reasons that go beyond what i show you here given the post focuses on his work on stage. but the point stands, while other people have tried to break him, he broke through every barricade instead and stood up for himself. we can be extremely happy to have him and witnessing his unreal dance is an exceptional pleasure. here’s to jongin continuing his passion and confidence, healing, and getting the sweeping respect and acknowledgement that is his.

[princess-of-inarizaki]

Hi can i have a headcanon with miya osamu and atsumu when their s/o is autistic ? Ps: i love your writing

Hello luv!! I'm sorry I couldn't write this sooner. I had to do a bit of research because I wanted to do my very best for such an important prompt :D I really hope you'll enjoy this 💖💖 with that in mind, please tell me if something is not to your liking, or if I've gotten something wrong ^^

My inbox was also very full and I had to make my way to this request 😭💖✨👉👈

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sending me this and I love you so much!! Please stay safe, and take care!!

Atsumu

Very gentle! He thinks of you as his precious little angel, and he's always trying his best to make sure you're comfortable whenever you go somewhere new or different, or just anytime in general.

Always asks you if it's okay if he holds you or initiates physical contact. If you say yes, he scoops you in his arms and holds you tightly, pressing kisses on your forehead and nose! Of you say no, he completely understands, and will just remain close to you, whispering softly that he loves you.

Very proud of you! If someone dares say anything hurtful about you, you can just bet Atsumu is there to defend you right away, and give that person a piece of his mind. He can't stand other people being ignorant, and after trash talking them to the ground (without you being present, of course), he tells them to be more mindful towards other people.

He's mindful of your feelings. It's very important to our darling Tsumu that he's aware of how you're feeling, and what's okay and not okay for that time. If he thinks the crowds are getting too much for you, he'll gently steer you away to a less crowded area.

If it's too loud or noisy, you can just bet Atsumu is there to softly whisper “I love ya” in your ear and take you to a quieter place.

Admires how straightforward you are. Since Atsumu is a very honest person himself, you are the perfect pair since he never has to beat around the bush or disguise his intentions when it comes to you. It's all about healthy communication!

If you stim, he's smiling and thinking you look adorable. Waits till you calm down before ruffling your hair with a fond expression. “yer so cute” he whispers under his breath.

Finds it very informative if you begin talking about something you like! ( Special interests ) he might not always be listening 100% but he admires how dedicated and attentive you are to finding out as much as you can about the things that you're interested in. He understands it very well, since he's a volleyball player who's extremely passionate about his own sport.

Loves making you music playlists and gives you a pair of f/c (favourite colour) headphones on your birthday. You listen to his playlists, which not only calm you down, but also remind you how much he loves you through the lyrics.

Definitely shares a special song with you, and whenever either of you are going through something, or miss each other deeply, you play the song and smile.

Probably has a very cute nickname for you, and he loves calling you that (if you're okay with it), and telling his brother how "(nickname) is just the coolest person ever."

He also talks to all his teammates at msby, and friends about you, constantly telling them a new story, or just about the smallest things in general. They're all very sure he's so extremely whipped for you xD

Probably loves playing board games with you. Is very competitive, and appreciates it if you are too. Definitely make it a weekly thing to play board games together and even keep track of who wins more.

Winner gets cuddles ;D

I think despite everything, Atsumu really likes clothing, and will buy you clothes he thinks looks nice on you. It would make his day if you wore it somewhere, because he'll feel so proud to know you trust his style judgement.

The same way, he respects your opinion and even asks you questions often, because he loves hearing your point of view on things and taking it into account when he makes decisions.

All in all, 10/10, the most wholesome and precious boy you will ever find, next to his brother. (HC below)

Osamu

Sometimes, when you find a new topic of interest that gets you super excited, he smiles happily and listens to you attentively. It could be when he's making onigiri and you're sitting on the counter, talking with so much enthusiasm, he just falls deeper in love with you.

Makes food that fits your preferences! (Because I read that sometimes, it differs by colour, and sometimes if differs by flavour). He's always ready with a personalized bento box for you, made with so much love and affection, and you know food from him tastes like home, because he has you in mind when he makes it.

If you follow a routine, Osamu is the perfect man for you. He's very disciplined and tries his best to stick to a schedule just like you. Although they're different routines, you appreciate him understanding if you can't be somewhere, due to a certain routine you need to follow, and he doesn't just randomly have dates, taking the effort to plan and tell you in advance.

Appreciates how you find joy in the little things, and how curious you can get about things sometimes. He thinks it's adorable, when you have this face, when you're learning about something new, and his spirits are lifted when he's the first person you tell about it to. It makes him feel so special.

If you dislike crowds, Osamu is perfect for you (yet again). He definitely prefers to stay at home and watch a movie, or cook you dinner instead of going out to a restaurant, since he loves the comfort of his own home, and quietness when you spend time together.

You help him out at his onigiri shop, sometimes, happy to support your boyfriend. Since he knows you aren't good with social situations, he teaches you how to make the onigiri instead.

Since it's an important part of his shop, it shows that he really trusts you, and teaches you with care and patience until you've mastered it. The smile on your face after making it perfectly was enough for him.

When you two are apart, he sets a specific time to call you every day, and without fail, your phone rings at the designated time, and he greets you with a “hey babe, what're ya doing right now?”.

Likes going stargazing with you, and the both of you learn about the different constellations in the sky so that you can name them the next time you spot them.

Your parents adore him! I mean, he's polite, kind, soft-spoken, but most importantly, they can see that he genuinely loves you with all his being. The trust him completely and always joke around saying they can't wait till he becomes a part of the family officially.

If you have a younger sibling, they're definitely fond of him too. Osamu is amazing with children. He makes them pancakes whenever he visits, and loves reading them stories or watching shows with them.

Oh and much like Atsumu, Osamu is also very mindful and observant of you. He's always keeping check of how you're feeling and understanding boundaries and space, respecting you completely. If you feel uncomfortable, he apologizes immediately, and stops whatever he's doing.

Asks you before he does anything, like hug, kiss, or other forms of physical contact. (king of consent!!)

Radiates protective vibes! Without being overbearing or suffocating. He cares about you, but not so much that it becomes possessive or a problem.

Is just a genuine sweetheart, and would treat you like a queen/king. Wouldn't look at anyone else, and often says that he's “fallen in love with you”, with a small twinkle in his eye.

Thinks you're the most beautiful human he's ever met, not just on the outside, but the inside too.

Taglist: @k-sakusa-old @osamusriceballz

[ruby-whistler]

hey, so!! i was in the car for a couple of hours yesterday and all i did was listen to music and make animatics in my head. so here are a few songs i thought i could ramble about that fit certain arcs/characters

pitiful children - be more chill

starring:

c!wilbur as squip

c!tommy as jeremy

l’manberg as the squip’s influence

l’manberg members as “the children”

c!dream as the confused guy in the background

-

“then i invaded” because that’s what. yes. c!wilbur moment.

basically, he’s convincing tommy that everyone is “incomplete” or “in pain” because of the “obsolete operating system” that is dream’s “rule”. that’s a lot of quotation marks right there. he’s saying how they’re going to “save” them by making them loyal (“let’s complete their chains”) to l’manberg. “let’s teach the pitiful children, who just haven’t a clue, just what to do” - you know, the whole “you’re naive, that’s good” thing because c!wilbur is scarily smart.

he’s trying to make c!tommy think the world will be better - “shiny happy people singing sweetly, gone is human error and fear” (again, criticizing c!dream) - if they make l’manberg and if l’manberg wins. the usual.

“every issue tucked away so neatly, if you feel a sob or tear, just turn that knob and switch that gear” probably my favorite lyric in the musical. this could be c!wilbur hiding the fact that he has Issues because of the stress he’s putting on himself, as well as the fear of being controlled, via trying to gain more power with the elections and pretending that he is fine and definitely not spiraling.

the next “pitiful children” switches into wilbur trying to convince dream to give him the tnt to “save” people. jeremy changes from tommy to dream; dream sees tommy beaten down and exhausted from the rebellion and does what he thinks is necessary.

the instrumental pause are the events of the 16th, and the next chorus and last upbeat verse is dream thinking everything will be “wonderful” again and no one will feel “left out or unsure”, that he can fix what wilbur broke - that he can have his happy family back, and being determined to get it. “when we rule” refers to the final disc confrontation and the vault.

basically, the song could be used for c!dream and c!wilbur’s parallels.

over all it’s a banger song. yes i did have a bmc phase, next.

unaligned - the undertale neutral route fansong

c!ranboo, 100%. it matches him so well.

“The brave and foolish ones

They walk not on the center

The signs are pointing every way

And I don't know which route's better

Some will take the fall

And some will see tomorrow

I could be the light or darkness

Redemption or sorrow

How could I live on with what I've done?

You took me in, showed me love when I had nowhere to run

You offered me your everything and I threw it all away

My indecision keeps me unaligned”

this could be his regrets for technically “betraying” l’manberg by helping c!techno and c!phil even though they gave him a home when he had no place to stay. could also apply to the community house and c!dream, with him not wanting to believe or “live on” with what he’s allegedly done.

his indecision, not wanting to be on any side, is what keeps him “unaligned”, because he doesn’t know “which route’s better”. light or darkness matches up with his aesthetic as well.

bring that fire - war*hall

looping this song for hours on end is the reason why i made this infamous post.

this is a dream smp army (sapnap, dream, george, punz) song, no questions asked. the freaking hype i feel is exactly the rush i got from seeing them kill it. it being l’manbergians - and, hey, look. i never said dream was some weak-minded woobified idiot, alright? i despise l’manberg with my soul, so that is the true evil, but in the l’manberg war, dream’s a brilliant anti-hero. he did kill people, but he was very fun doing it, and he was in the right, and they asked for it, so. anti-hero vibes.

as well as everyone else - i freaking love them, did i say that yet? yes, so these lyrics really match their ruthlessness and how they were determined to win, taking it further and further to assure victory (beloveds) -

“No stopping me

Breaking barriers

I keep on crushing it till I am done

I didn't get here by accident

No I've been gunning it since I was young

Better believe I'll be standing

There ain't no moon that can outturn the sun

I didn't get here by accident

No I've been gunning it since I was young

Second to none

Been gunning it since I was young

I'm standing at the edge now

It's about to go down

I'm gonna take it higher

It's time for me to light it

So they can't deny it

Ay!

Bring that fire!”

“If you take a shot, boy, you better not miss

'Cuz it won't ever happen again

You gonna wake up and not even know what your name is or where you have been

Better be ready to bleed if you think that you have any hope for a win”

“I never go dim

'Cuz I only know how to win”

i miss them. bring them back. i want them to fight more revolutionaries. they only know how to win and they Freaking Did LET’S GOOOOOOOOO

song’s a banger idk where or when it’s from but please listen to it.

pity party - melanie martinez

dream stuck alone in prison feeling his sanity slip away from him piece by piece in isolation, wondering where everyone is and why they aren’t coming :)

“did my invitations disappear? why’d i put my heart on every cursive letter? tell me why the hell no one is here?”

like, you know. people who he still cared about. the thank you notes he made. also, exile arc parallels.

“tell me what to do to make it all feel better”

[ Dream tried to swim in lava ]

[ Dream tried to swim in lava ]

[ Dream went up in flames ]

“maybe it’s a cruel joke on me, whatever”

sam being cruel to him, dream being convinced everyone hates him and he deserves this after all, forcing himself not to care.

“i’ll cry until the candles burn down this place

i’ll cry until my pity party’s in flames”

[ Dream burned to death ]

[ Dream tried to swim in lava ]

[ Dream tried to swim in lava ]

“maybe if I knew all of them well
i wouldn't have been trapped inside this hell that holds me”

pandora’s box - maybe if he had more allies, more friends, more people on his side, they’d not let him suffer like this. they’d come help him, get him out.

“i’m laughin', i’m cryin'”

the whole ‘laughing at tommy’s death’ bit as well as the fact that - yeah, he’s not been doing very well mentally in there, has he.

“it feels like i’m dyin'

i’m dyin', i’m dyin'”

[ Dream tried to swim in lava ]

[ Dream burned to death ]

[ Dream tried to swim in lava ]

[ Dream tried to swim in lava ]

[ Dream tried to swim in lava ]

[ Dream went up in flames ]

:)

that’s all! i don’t know what this post is. feel free to send in songs, i have a playlist.

[eberles]

Little Things

Drew Starkey

(gif is by @snkkat :)

Request: OMG I’m the anon that requested Your Song...AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT OH MY GOD!!!! It was even better than I imagined!!! Thank you so much!!! Could I request another one? Maybe little things by one direction with Drew?

A/N: Hiii thank you so much that means a lot!! this ones really sweet, i hope you like it!! lowercase bc i just like that vibe better!! bold = lyrics

Warnings: insecurities?? fluff

your hand fits in mine like it’s made just for me, but bear this in mind it was meant to be and i’m joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks and it all makes sense to me

you and drew were sat on the couch with a little bit of space between the two of you watching some random netlfix movie he picked out. he had your hand in his and he was playing with your fingers and cooing at how small your hand was compared to his.

“our hands fit perfect together” drew spoke over the tv playing and brought your hand up to his lips kissing it softly. you blushed and moved closer to him kissing his neck lightly and resting your head on his shoulder, never letting go of his hand.

after a few minutes watching the movie, drew decided to pause it and switch positions so he was now laying on his back and you took the opportunity to lay on top of him in between his legs and rest your head on his chest. before playing the movie again, drew looked down at you noticing you were already staring up at him and smiling widely. he brought his hands up and traced the freckles going across your nose and cheeks.

“i think we were made for each other.” drew claimed and you nodded in agreement. never understanding why he said, but you felt it because it just made sense to both of you.

i know you’ve never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile, you’ve never loved your stomach or your thighs, the dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine, but i’ll love them endlessly

“you coming down to the pool baby?” drew asked walking into the hotel room you were staying in. you were standing in front of the mirror with the only bathing suit you brought on you body. “you look hot.” drew added.

“i look stupid, look out everyone thunder thighs are coming and i’m so bloated today. why didn’t i bring a one piece?” you groan moving away from the mirror not wanting to look at yourself any longer. drew sat next to you on the edge of your bed and put his hand on your thigh.

“i know you’ve always been a little insecure about these things, baby, but you’re perfect to me. maybe my opinion doesn’t matter, but it’s true.” drew looked down at you giving your thigh a playful squeeze. “i love everything about you that you don’t, i hope you know that.”

you smiled up at your boyfriend and kissed him wondering what you did in a past life to get someone so wonderful and understanding. just a few simple words and you felt a little more confident, sure it might not last, but it was something in that moment that made you feel good.

“thank you, handsome.”

you can’t go to bed without a cup of tea, and maybe that’s the reason that you talk in your sleep and all those conversations are the secrets that i keep thought it makes no sense to me

it was 3 am and drew had woken up due to you mumbling in you sleep beside him. most of it he didn’t understand, but currently he was lying awake trying to put the pieces together.

“i just hgnn really love,” you stopped a bunch of times and also said a lot of incoherent things drew wasn’t able to put together. “love forky.” drew waited a few seconds to see if you were done with that sentence and when he didn’t hear anything else he grabbed his phone opening the notes section.

“she really loves forky - the toy story character or the utensil?” he typed into his ‘y/n’s dream speeches’ and locked his phone setting on his nightstand. he had about 100 random thoughts from your dreams saved on his phone, he never asked you about them just wanting them to be his little secret. he always assumed it was due to the copious amounts of warm tea you drink before bed, but he never knew for sure. either way he loved that about you.

i know you’ve never loved the sound of your voice on tape, you never want to know how much you weigh, you still have to squeeze into your jeans, but you’re perfect to me

“drew delete that video! you can’t post that!” you laughed trying to grab his phone and delete the video he just took of you for your tik tok account.

“why? it’s cute!” he exclaimed making you roll your eyes and give him a “duh” look.

“it may be very cute, but i sound horrendous if i knew you were recording i would’ve put my ‘fake i’m on camera’ voice on, bub.” now it was his turn to roll his eyes, he didn’t think you sounded any different on or off tape. drew saved the video, but didn’t post it not wanting to upset you. “come on, we have to get ready anyways.” you rolled out of bed and looked in your dresser for a pair of jeans to replace the comfy shorts you were wearing. drew watched as you pulled the jeans up your thighs and jumped up and down trying to get them over your butt. he chuckled to himself always thinking it was super cute whenever you did even though he didn’t understand it. once you finished putting your pants on he came up to you wrapping his arms around you from behind.

“you’re perfect, you know that?” you asked with a cheesy grin on his face making you turn around in his arms to face him and kiss his cheek.

you’ll never love yourself half as much as i love you, you’ll never treat yourself right darling, but i want you to. if i’ll let you know i’m here, for you, maybe you’ll love yourself, like i love you

“why are you even with me drew?” you were already crying when you asked making him scoot closer to you and hold you tightly. he hated seeing you in such pain.

“i’m with you because i love you, because you’re smart, beautiful, talented, funny, sexy, gorgeous, caring and i could go on all day about why i’m with you.” drew grabbed your face as he spoke and held your cheeks in his hands making you look at him. “i love you, and i want you to see that you’re worthy and deserving of love. i’m here for you, no matter what.” he stroked your cheeks with his thumbs wiping away any tears that fell. you wrapped your arms around his broad torso and cried a little more into his shoulder while he rubbed your back.

“i’m gonna keep trying to see what you see, it’s an everyday struggle, but i owe it to myself. i love you.” you hiccuped in between most of your words, but drew understood every one of them.

“i’ll be right here with you every step of the way, reminding you how perfect you are, love.”

i won’t let these little things slip out of my mouth, but if it’s true, it’s you they add up to, i’m in love with you and all your little things

drew knew that your insecurities, flaws, and other quirky things about you is what drew him to you from the beginning. he always appreciated everything about you especially the little things that you didn’t let everyone see. he constantly reminded you of how perfect you are and how everything about you makes you, you. drew couldn’t imagine being with you without all of these things in your relationship. he loved you for who you are and he wouldn’t change it for a thing.

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[ts1989fanatic]

TS7 is finally here!

If you’re like me or any of the millions of Swifties out there, the arrival of this next era is just as exciting as a brand-new bookshelf full of reads you get to experience for the first time.

After listening to the album on repeat all weekend, I decided to celebrate Lover with a book roundup inspired by each of the songs (since it’s the only thing I’ll be listening to for the foreseeable future, don’t @ me.).

ts1989fanatic an interesting perspective well written obviously a swiftie.

1. “I Forgot That You Existed” (Best Friends Forever, by Jennifer Weiner)

You heard it from Taylor first: indifference is the new vengeance. This solid album-opener is upbeat and poppy, a nice contrast with the lyrics about the (final?) end of a broken relationship, friendship (or feud), when you actually forget that the person you once had so much ire for still lives. She transitions from “Your name on my lips, tongue-tied/Free rent, living in my mind” to “forgot that you existed/and I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t” with ease. But of course, insisting that you forget someone existed while singing about them would introduce interesting tension into any relationship. It reminded me of Jennifer Weiner’s Best Friends Forever, about what happens when a former friend shows up on your doorstep in a crisis, insisting you’re the only one who can help them out of a tight spot (when you’d rather do anything but).

2. “Cruel Summer” (Do You Want to Start a Scandal, by Tessa Dare)

Lyrically and sonically, this is one of my favorites on the entire album (it’s so good it should have been a single!) It’s got an Out of the Woods meets Getaway Car vibe in terms of the melody. Wistful, a bit haunting, but also a total bop. “So cut the headlights, summer’s a knife/I’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone” describes a low point in Swift’s life (Summer 2016, ugh), juxtaposed with the high of discovering new love. There are so many books I could have picked for this, but “I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you” reminded me of the Regency romance trope where the heroine has a secret, or finds herself in a situation where her reputation is at stake, but is still tempted by a handsome rogue who might lead her into temptation and true love. (Sound a bit familiar?) Do You Want to Start a Scandal by Tessa Dare feels like the perfect accompaniment to this song about a woman who must prove her innocence in the face of a sullied reputation or be forced to marry a man she doesn’t think she could ever love.

3. “Lover” (Roomies, by Christina Lauren)

The title track (and the one I’ve been singing in the shower for days) is a swoony daydream of a couple in complete harmony, as Swift spins wedding vow-like lyrics such as “With every guitar string scar on my hand/I take this magnetic force of a man to be my…lover/My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue/all’s well that end’s well to end up with you/swear to be overdramatic and true/to my…lover.” But Swift is all about balance in her songs, so imagery of keeping up the Christmas lights in “our place” is juxtaposed with suspicion that “everyone who sees you wants you.” This track reminded me of Roomies by Christina Lauren, with its musician main character and the trope of having to share a space while inevitably falling in love.

4. “The Man” (The Whisper Network, by Chandler Baker)

The double-standards between men and women have been explored in songs and novels since both art forms existed. Swift has already confronted the media’s perception of her as a victim, as a girl who goes on too many dates but can’t make them stay, etc. But in “The Man”, she more directly confronts how different she’d be treated if she were the opposite gender. How could I not think of the new thriller The Whisper Network, about a group of women who come forward about their male boss’ behavior of harassment in the workplace. Instead of continuing to suffer in silence, they tell the truth, resulting in an explosive conflict. I sort of saw the ending coming, but was very glad I was right.

5. “The Archer” (Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen)

Another slower, lyric-driven track on the album with gut-punching truths about love, friendship, and holding on to the one who has your heart. “The Archer” is associated with being a Sagittarius (which Swift is), but also her dynamic with the world. “Who could ever leave me, darling?/But who could stay?” is self-aware in a new way for Swift, as is “I never grew up, it’s getting so old” or “I see right through me.” This is one of my favorite tracks on the album, as Swift confronts her cultivated image as both archer and prey of fame and of love. Listening to the rising energy of the track as it builds to a anti-fairy-tale crescendo plus Swift’s lyrics made me think of Pride and Prejudice: Elizabeth Bennet is forced to acknowledge how her own prejudices have made it difficult for others to love her, but that she is deserving of an imperfect love. (And how could “All of my enemies started out friends” not remind you of awful Mr. Wickham?)

6. “I Think He Knows” (The Duke and I, by Julia Quinn)

After a slower song, this heats things up a bit, describing the early sizzle of a relationship before it even starts. For an entire album that sings the praises of a man, I liked the moment in the pre-chorus where she says “He’s so obsessed with me, and boy, I understand.” Own your worth, girl! The bridge was my favorite part of this song (as it often is with Swift; girl knows how to bridge) as it played with tempo and rhyme. “Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh/We can follow the sparks, I’ll drive.” Swift explores the tension of the moment between seeing someone and initiating contact—songs like these always sting with a bit of danger, too, because the man knows she wants him but neither of them say anything in public about it. She’s whispering in the dark, which gives me serious secret romance vibes. The Duke and I by Julia Quinn is about Simon, who is planning to propose to his BFF’s sister even though he doesn’t actually love her. It’s an arrangement that suits them both, but before they both know it, Daphne is giving Simon serious “I Think he Knows” vibes.

7. “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince” (The Cheerleaders, by Kara Thomas)

If you don’t get the oft-spoken adage that “politics is like high-school,” this song takes the metaphor to the next level. Subtly political but 100% heartbreaking, Swift reimagines the political sphere (and her role in it) as a high school romance, moving from “American glory, faded before me,” painting the democratic 2016 election loss as a ripped-up prom dress (from Miss Americana, who assumed she would win.) Oozing drama and storytelling the way only Swift can, I love the moody elements of the brokenhearted girl contrasted with the new riff on a cheerleading chant (Go Fight Win!). This song is about mourning loss and then finding the strength to say “I know we’re going to win,” but it’s haunting melody and lyrics led me to pick a Cheerleader-inspired thriller. The Cheerleaders is about a string of cheerleaders murdered in a small town five years ago… and just when everyone thinks it’s time to move on, one girl becomes the center of a mystery that never truly died.

8. “Paper Rings” (The Royal We, by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan)

I’m on my fourth listen of the album and this might be my favorite track on it (though that changes minute by minute, with an album as dynamic as this—just to further accentuate the point, by the time of posting this piece, my new favorite might be I Think He Knows?). It’s a totally retro, ’60s style song—a totally fresh sound for Swift, and one that fits perfectly with her new aesthetic. (Makes me wonder why this wasn’t one of the singles released before the record.) It is a gold-mine for Swiftian lyricism, with so many gems I can’t possibly call them all out, and it moves so fast (like a good read) that you both want to cascade over them and pause to hear each line at least 5x before it passes you by. It’s an unabashed love song, relishing in the joy of knowing you’re with the one you love so much that “I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings”. The line that stuck out the most was “I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this,” which made me think of when Bex Porter goes to Oxford in The Royal We and, completely by accident, falls in love with the heir to the throne.

9. “Cornelia Street” (Passion on Park Avenue, by Lauren Layne)

“Cornelia Street” is sort of the antithesis to I Think He knows. It’s about remembering the early days of a new relationship (“We were a fresh page on the desk/filling in the blanks as we go”) and being more than willing to give up all the good that comes with fresh starts in order to settle into something real. It aches with melancholy, because any time we give something up should be a little sad—but it brims with hope and Swift’s trademarked optimism about love. “I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends/I’d never walk Cornelia Street again/ That’s the kinda heartbreak time could never mend.” I had to pick an NYC-set story for this, like Lauren Layne’s Passion on Park Avenue. The city is another character in the romance between a successful jewelry-business owner and the son of the woman her mother used to work for.

10. “Death By a Thousand Cuts” (Please Don’t Go Before I Get Better, by Madisen Kuhn)

Inspired by the Netflix movie Something Great, this is one of the few sad songs on the record, about a girl going through a breakup who can’t help but linger in happier memories. (For the record: “I dress to kill my time” is genius, as are so many of these lyrics.) Only Swift is so good at pairing such devastating messaging with a pop beat you can’t help but want to sing. This song was the hardest one to pick a book for (especially because it’s already inspired by a movie) so I decided to go with a poetry collection! Please Don’t Go Before I Get Better is all about the aches and sun rays of growing up, told in a staggeringly relatable voice that will make you want to curl up on the couch and cry your eyes out.

11. “London Boy” (Red, White and Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston)

This is 100% about Joe Alwyn, but also… Taylor dated at least two Brits that we know of before him, so this song is also about what we already knew (“the rumors are true”): she has a penchant for London Boys. Essentially a road map of her favorite places in the city, this indulgent ditty trades “Tennessee Whiskey” for “A gray sky, a rainy cab ride” and of course, her man by her side. Red, White, and Royal Blue is the perfect pick for this song, about two boys who fall in love (after a rough start where they were almost enemies) amidst those gray, rainy skies… but one of them happens to be the son of an American President, and the other, the current Prince of England.

12. “Soon You’ll Get Better (feat. Dixie Chicks)” (Swamplandia! by Karen Russell)

Of all the songs on the album, this one gave me the most vintage Swift vibes. There’s no denying that she is an astonishingly talented songwriter, especially when you listen to what is essentially her greatest fear laid bare on this track with just a bit of guitar and the Dixie Chicks harmonizing in the background. Here, the story shines: Swift’s mother has been sick for a number of years, and while they’ve mostly kept the details of that battle private, this is the most vulnerable moment of love for her mother on an album mostly about finding true love. “Holy orange bottles, each night I pray to you/Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus, too.” A friend of mine recently lost their mother just after getting married, and it made me marvel at how life often delivers us highs and lows to grapple with simultaneously. While all of this was going on—Kanye and Kim, Joe and London, another world tour, another album—in the background, Swift has been terrified of losing her mother. This song made me think of Swamplandia!, a novel about a young girl living in a gator-wrestling theme park where her mother used to be the main event, until she passed away. Now, in the wake of her death, the girl and her siblings must grapple with their mother’s legacy as a competing business rises up to swallow the success she built on the swamp.

13. “False God” (City of Girls, by Elizabeth Gilbert)

Is that a saxophone in the background of a Taylor Swift song? This slow, jazzy number is all about love and desire—and how we come back to it even when the world around us (and sometimes we, ourselves) put it in jeopardy. “And I can’t talk to you when you’re like this/Staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town/I’m New York City” and other lyrics referencing New York seem to be the grounding force in an otherwise tumultuous relationship. Multiple times on this record Swift has alluded to rough patches in her current happiness, but connection is always the solution to fixing it. She seems to say that if you treat your relationship like it’s your religion, you can get through anything. This is one of the sexier songs on the album, but it’s also got serious NYC vibes, so I’m picking City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert: a novel all about relishing romance in the glitzy 1940’s New York Theater scene, but also how desire can either set us on the road to ruin, or redemption.

14. “You Need to Calm Down” (The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, by Taylor Jenkins Reid)

This song has done what Swift does best: inspire conversation and a bit of controversy. Acknowledging that it was past time for her to be an outspoken ally for the LGBTQIAP+ community, YNTCD tackles the various ways communities are pitted against one another (especially on the internet.) The first verse examines her personal haters (“Say it in the street, that’s a knock-out/But you say it in a Tweet, that’s a cop-out), the second calls out homophobes (“Shade never made anybody less gay”), and the third examines how her relationships with her female contemporaries have often been antagonistic, something she herself has been responsible perpetuating in the past with songs like “Bad Blood” and “Better Than Revenge” (“We all know now, we all got crowns/you need to calm down.”) The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo is about a famous actress who hid the great female love of her life behind multiple male partners and uses her platform to tell the truth (all while hiding one last devastating secret). While Taylor herself has not come out as part of the LGBTQ community, she has come out as an ally, and this book made me think about the issues of privacy, platform, allyship, and identity that the song also confronts. If there’s more to the story of Swift’s relationship to the LGBTQIAP+ community, she’s going to share it on her own terms.

15.“Afterglow” (Queenie, by Candice Carty-Williams)

This song ranks high on my favorites from the album, and it’s a rare genre from Swift: the apology song. (The other famous one is Speak Now’s “Back to December.”) In this mid-tempo song with slamming drums and a breathy falsetto, Swift yearns for the partner she pushed away to meet her in the moments after the fight ends. “It’s all me, in my head/I’m the one who burned us down/ but it’s not what I meant,” she insists. There’s still hope here though, as opposed to earlier songs on the record that signal the doom of a friendship or a breakup after-the-fact. Queenie, by Candice Carty-Williams, is a novel about a girl coming to terms with her role in a failed relationship, a career she can’t seem to succeed in, and friends she unknowingly betrays. “Why’d I have to break what I love so much?” is a question asked in this song’s chorus, and one Queenie must answer in order to find real, lasting happiness.

16. “ME! (feat. Brendon Urie)” (Crazy Rich Asians, by Kevin Kwan)

This self-love anthem is bubblegum sweet and full of earworms: the “Shake it Off“ of the TS7 Era. It makes me think of lightning-fast beach reads that you can’t put down and that feel so good to read but also have a deeper meaning to them. Just because it’s not the most lyrically advanced of her songs doesn’t mean this bop doesn’t deserve to be celebrated— it reminded me of how romances constantly get a bad rep (lol, see what I did there?) as somehow lesser than other genres. I love that Taylor doesn’t care about what other people think and is 100% focused on being her authentic self— just like the heroine of Crazy Rich Asians, Rachel Chu. When confronted with the wealth and expectations of her boyfriend Nick’s family (who don’t think she’s good enough for him), she insists it’s her individuality that makes her the perfect partner for him.

17. “It’s Nice to Have a Friend” (This Love Story Will Self-Destruct, by Leslie Cohen)

This track might be my second favorite? It’s so different (Ukulele? Trombone? Is that what I’m hearing?) and such a contrast to the beginning of the album, the opener closes the door on a once meaningful friendship. It’s also a deceiving song, in that I’m still not 100% sure what it’s about. I think Swift is exploring the importance of friendship in all its forms: in childhood (“School bell rings, walk me home”) to adolescence “Something gave you the nerve/to touch my hand”) to romantic love (“Church bells ring, carry me home/rice on the ground looks like snow”). Ultimately, she may be saying that the most important thing about a romantic partner is that they make you feel like you have a friend—when you’re young, the thing that matters most is feeling seen by other people. If your lover is also your best friend, then you know they always have your back. A love story that takes place over two characters’ twenties, This Love Story Will Self-Destruct is about the missteps, betrayals, beautiful moments and connection that forms between two people over a decade.

18. “Daylight” (Evvie Drake Starts Over, by Linda Holmes)

“My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in.” What a way to begin this album closer. Swift’s last tracks have a tradition of being the ones that are most emblematic of her current state of mind, but they also have developed certain themes over time. Renewal, starting over, self-reflection, and hope are all subjects “Daylight” sheds a little light on. She acknowledges past failings (“I wounded the good and trusted the wicked”) and what she wants for the future (“I once believed love would be [burning red]/but it’s golden”). A book that feels like daylight on your skin is what’s needed for this song, and I think Evvie Drake Starts Over is the perfect pick: a story about a woman still grieving the loss of her husband but who finds herself moving on with a former major league baseball player. Both of them have pasts they are healing from, but together, they find hope for the future. “I’ve been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night/and now I see daylight.” And, unlike (I think?) any other song in her catalogue, she speaks in the end, not sings, in a direct appeal to her audience. Her very last words are “You are what you love.” Well, I love Taylor Swift. I love a good song lyric to sink my teeth into, or to sing. I love love. And I love a good story, whether it comes from a song or a book, and when you’re done with the album, I hope you find some here.

[ckret2]

would you mind explaining "Careless whisper" "I will always love you" and "Friend please"? no pressure though!

Oh god you chose two of the meme-iest songs! Both in one post! I can’t believe it!

Okay.

This took me forever to write because I wrote half of it and then got distracted for weeks and didn’t get back to it until I got a fresh ask today with some more songs and I was like, crap, I should finish this one.

So the first three paragraphs in this post still apply here, I’m not gonna copy paste them, go read those paragraphs if you haven’t yet. tl;dr i’m answering questions about why i included songs on my radiosnake spotify playlist because i like rambling for thousands of words at a time, also the playlist is based on a fic i wrote.

Feel free to keep sending me questions about more songs on the playlist. Explanations under the read more, assuming the read more works, which I make no guarantee of because this is tumblr.

Careless Whisper (Lyrics)

… except, the jazzy version.

So lemme tell you a story about how “Careless Whisper” came up and then I’ll explain why it actually belongs on the playlist.

The only way I can outline a story is by sitting down with another person and rambling the plotline at them, copy pasting it into another document, and bam that’s an outline.

Right now, in the disjointed process of outlining a sequel to Cold Day In Hell, I’m sort of chunking random ideas at a couple friends to see what sticks. One idea is that, when Alastor is drunk, he’s 90% worse at pretending he totally doesn’t care about Sir Pentious at all. If they’re ever drunk at the same social event, he will subtly (not subtly at all) follow him around all night like a puppy and hang on to his every word, automatically playing this sort of nonsense in the background.

One of my friends announced sadness that it didn’t start off with “Careless Whisper,” so I checked Postmodern Jukebox (the fastest/easiest/most common way to translate a modern song into Alastor Aesthetic) to see if they had made a jazz cover (they had), and I reassured my friend that the PMH cover definitely played every second song while drunk!Alastor was mooning over (and/or looming over) Sir Pentious.

And then I went oh goddammit the lyrics actually fit, dammit, now I’ve gotta put it on the playlist.

So I put it on the playlist.

Here’s the great thing about song lyrics. Even if everyone knows that the lyrics mean one thing, language is inherently ambiguous and you can totally just decide to read the lyrics a slightly different way if you really really want to and the exact wording doesn’t make it impossible. Everyone KNOWS that “Careless Whisper” is about cheating, but it never SAYS it’s about cheating (like, it says “cheat a friend,” but like the singer could’ve cheated their friend at cards? it doesn’t say), so you can just decide that it’s about any other kind of betrayal in a relationship! Like, say, blowing up your ally’s steampunk airship fleet. The song never says it ISN’T about a steampunk airship fleet.

So let’s just establish right now that this song is no longer about cheating. That’s out the window.

In the original song, “dancing” is probably intended as a metaphor for having sex. In THIS context, it is literally dancing. The emotional core of CDIH, the moment around which the rest of the story rotates, is the night that Alastor and Sir Pentious dance together. And although Alastor no doubt dances plenty of times after leaving Sir Pent, he’s certainly never going to dance like that again—like he’s with a lover, like he wants to be touching his dance partner, rather than either alone or while distastefully putting up with physical contact with someone who doesn’t matter to him.

The interpretation of the line “careless whispers of a good friend” that I think is probably Most Common is that a friend of the singer’s lover warned the lover that the singer is cheating on them, and the singer thinks that the fact that the lover now knows is worse than not knowing at all, because now that the lover knows they can never go back to normal, hence why the friend was being careless. Aside from any questions of, like, whether or not that’s a sound opinion at all—I’ve always interpreted that line differently. Since the singer refers to their lover as a “friend” (“should have known better than to cheat a friend”), I’ve always assumed that the singer would refer to themself as their lover’s friend, and so the “careless whispers of a good friend” were the whispers that the singer themself made that started whatever affair it is they had.

And so that assumption—that the “good friend” that said something they shouldn’t have is the singer—is the interpretation I’m carrying into the song’s inclusion in the playlist. In this case, it’s Alastor’s decision to lie to Sir Pent about how he feels about him (claiming that he never cared & that he was just screwing around with his emotions) before running off that are the “careless whispers” because, although not exactly whispery, they do have the same effect as in the song: ever since he said them, there’s been an unmendable rift between Alastor and Sir Pent (which was, like, his objective, but he’s still not happy about it)—and, more than that, it was very careless. Alastor had intended for his actions to just push Sir Pent away, not to effectively ruin Sir Pent’s ambitions to rule hell completely. But, that’s what happened. Because he didn’t think anything through. He just said and did the very first things he could think of to push Sir Pent away. Extremely careless.

And, of course, the specific version that got included was chosen because it sounds jazzy. Yay for PMJ, making all sorts of songs Alastor-ready.

I Will Always Love You (Lyrics)

… except, the super dark version.

So I figured out at some point that the easiest way I was gonna find Alastor music was through jazz-style covers of songs a la Postmodern Jukebox, 1) because PMJ has been actually mentioned as among the limited varieties of modern music that Alastor would listen to by virtue of the fact that they do covers that sound like what he used to listen to, and 2) because Puff here isn’t actually a fan of jazz and it’s a lot easier for me to slowly wade into the water via jazzy covers of songs I already know than it is for me to fling myself into the deep end like “appreciate Jelly Roll Morton! Appreciate Jelly Roll Morton NOW!!!”

(I am slowly and laboriously training myself to be a fan of jazz, because Alastor is a RADIO HOST from NEW ORLEANS in the ROARING TWENTIES AND A LITTLE BIT OF THE THIRTIES, i will NOT be writing him while in complete ignorance of a subject that probably occupied a huge portion of his life.)

So due to the fact that I was looking for PMJ-esque genre-switching covers of songs, I drifted over to other genre-switching song cover acts like Chase Holfelder to go through the songs and go “hm wonder of any of these work." This song is an exception to the genres I’m looking for for Alastor, but it still makes the list because like, the vibe is just right.

Have y'all ever actually listened to/read the lyrics to "I Will Always Love You” before? Not just the AAAND IIIIIIIII-IIII-IIIIIII WILL ALWAAAYS LOVE YOOOOO-OO-OOOU bit but the actual lyrics. They’re sad. The lyrics are “I deeply love you but if I stayed with you I would only hold you back so i’m going to leave you because it’s for the best but i’m super sad about it and i always will be.”

Now, that doesn’t 100% line up with Alastor’s situation. Because, like, obviously, he was doing the exact opposite of holding Sir Pent back when they were together, and fearing holding Sir Pent back was not the reason he left.

But it is among the reasons he avoids the hell out of him now. The primary reasons, of course, are still “being in love is scary and i do not want to do that so maybe if i avoid him i can continue pretending that i am not in love?” and “lmao he justifiably hates me now so why try"—but #3 on his list is the recognition that, since they broke up, Alastor’s actions have caused a constant cascade of events that have held Sir Pent back ever since. (And Alastor also suspects that there might actually be some kind of legitimate curse or fate or something going on here—that part of Alastor’s role in hell is playing the part of Sir Pent’s personal hellish divine punishment.) So he didn’t leave because he’s sabotaging Sir Pent’s ambitions; but he sabotaged Sir Pent’s ambitions because he left.

And therefore, as a consequence, he should stay away from Sir Pent now. He shouldn’t beg forgiveness and a second chance—because he doesn’t deserve them, and because he might make it worse.

This particular cover of the song really kicks the anguish up into high gear. The most common Whitney Houston version is like, okay she’s brokenhearted, but also somehow somewhat empowered by the brokenheartedness—like even though she’s leaving sad and bitter, in her heart she knows that the decision she’s making is for the best for her beloved, and she can draw strength from that. There is no drawing strength from the decision in the Chase Holfelder version—just using it up. It’s like he’s burning through all of his reserves of strength to push his loved one away. When Whitney hits the big note, she’s pulling power into herself to belt that out. When Chase hits the big note, he’s pouring out every last bit of power left inside his body. You can imagine Whitney walking away from this song with her head held high and her back straight but Chase is just gonna collapse to his knees with his shoulders hunched and head bowed—completely empty, a husk. That’s the vibe I want with Alastor—that every single day of his self-imposed exile he’s losing a little piece of himself, hollowing himself out. He can’t draw strength from it.

Typically, when I’m picking songs for this playlist, I don’t pay much attention to the gender of the singer (my only main priority on this playlist is that by the time it’s done I want the genders of the singers to be roughly balanced on both Sir Pent’s part and Alastor’s part), but in this case I think the fact that the singer is male contributes to it working for Alastor the way another version with a female singer wouldn’t. Not entirely sure why—maybe because, even though the voice doesn’t sound anything like his, it’s easier to actively imagine Alastor singing the song when it’s got a male voice? Maybe because, thanks to Sexism In Society, a woman saying "I’m leaving you because I’d get in the way of your dreams” more easily comes across as “Oh… I am simply not good enough for you… I’d hold you back…” while a man saying “I’m leaving you because I’d get in the way of your dreams” more easily comes across as “I wouldn’t hold you back, I’d push you down. I’m dangerous for you.” And the latter fits Alastor better.

(But hey, if any of you know of any versions of “I Will Always Love You” with a female singer that makes her sound dangerous as hell, feel free to recommend them to me. Not because I’m looking to replace the version I’ve already got but just because I’d really like to hear it.)

Currently, it’s listed as the last song on the Alastor portion of the playlist. I recently reorganized it so that the Sir Pent portions and Alastor portions each flow from the shallowest/most surface emotions down to the deeper/truer/more hidden emotions, and even before I did that reorganization, “I Will Always Love You” has been the closing song on Alastor’s side since it was added to the playlist. That feels like the right note to leave it on: after everything else has been said, once every other layer and lie has been stripped away, the deepest and truest and last thing Alastor would have to say to Sir Pent is “I hope life treats you kind and I hope you have all you’ve dreamed of” and an anguished screaming declaration of love.

Friend Please https://genius.com/Twenty-one-pilots-friend-please-lyrics

So remember when I said that language is inherently ambiguous and if you want you can totally just choose to read words differently if the wording doesn’t actually prevent that interpretation? This song is clearly about suicide. I have decided for the purposes of this playlist it is not about suicide anymore! It’s still about depression but not about suicide! When the singer was like “Please don’t take your life away from me” what he meant is “Please don’t take your life, and also, I am emphasizing that if you do so you are removing yourself from my life to try to show you how much you mean to me,” but how I have decided to interpret it for this playlist is “literally do not remove your life from my life, as in, like, don’t run away and stop talking to me.”

So. As I mentioned in my last song meta post, there’s sort of two—not genres, but like, musical aesthetics that I’m drawing from for Sir Pent: Victorian-ish/steampunk-ish sounds, and emo stuff because Vivz said that’s what he actually listens to. Twenty One Pilots fits the criteria for emo for me—idk and idc if other people consider them emo, they toured with Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco, they count as far as I’m concerned—so they’re actually among the bands I’ve been intending to specifically look at for potential Sir Pent Songs.

For the most part, they’re, like, too good at the sad millennial vibe. But that song works.

“Friend, Please” comes low on Sir Pent’s portion because it’s deep in the more genuine emotions—I’ve actually considered putting it last and may still do so, it would make a nice counterpoint to “I Will Always Love You"—actually I’m gonna go do that, gonna go shuffle the playlist, there, good—and it’s also something that he couldn’t/wouldn’t say until after he knows about Alastor’s deep thoughts. Reinterpreted so that it’s not about suicide, it becomes about a friend who’s still depressed, but the focus of the song becomes about the friend’s self-isolation—a self-isolation that’s fueled by denial and self-delusion, the friend convincing themself that they’re alone, always will be, and can’t/won’t have anyone else in their life again that they can depend upon.

Which, although he doesn’t necessarily seem to be depressed, is certainly the vibe Alastor gives off in the show—that despite his overly-friendly overly-familiar attitude, he probably keeps everyone else at a great emotional distance. In canon he might be okay with that. In fic, he’s doing that at the expense of pushing away a person he loves very much—and then pushing away anyone that could help him cope with that loss. Leaving him very alone and perpetually disguising himself as fine with that. Maybe, when he can go years without having to see Sir Pent, he can be fine with that.

But I have Big Plans for that sequel and you know item #1 on the list is "stick Alastor and Sir Pent in a position where they’ll have to cross paths all the time so that it’s like threading a giant needle with barbed wire, stabbing the needle into Alastor’s heart, and slowly dragging the barbed wire straight through.”

And after that? Living like a ghost, claiming he’s fine when he’s been completely emotionally drained, is gonna be a pretty accurate description of his mental state.

Right now, Sir Pent is in no way close enough to Alastor to know that—and in no way sympathetic enough toward him to care even if he did know. He still hates Alastor for completely ruining his life. But there’s still that part of him that used to care about Alastor and still could come to care about him again. And if that part gets revived, and if he gets close enough to Alastor to see how miserable he’s made himself by trying to push everyone away and denying that he’s pushed his own mental state into as bad a state as it’s currently in, his reaction would be “you absolute dumbass” followed by trying to shout some sense into Alastor by pointing out that every one of his problems is caused not by external factors, but by his own damn screwed-up perception of the world. Like, every one of his problems he made himself, and he can unmake them. He’s just got to uncover his eyes first.

It’s easy for fandom to just, like, characterize Sir Pent as an all-around dumbass—strategically, socially, emotionally, etc. Until and unless we see otherwise—and see it so firmly that even I can’t find ways to headcanon around it, and believe you me, I can headcanon my way around a lot of things—I choose to believe that the only areas he’s definitely a dumbass in are “understanding modern slang” and “remembering NOT to charge into battle without considering the odds the second he sees somebody he hates.” This means that I like to believe he also has a reasonable level of emotional intelligence, and a healthy level of compassion that he can deploy, when he so chooses, on someone he considers worthy of that compassion. He’s evil, yes, but self-professed evil, which means self-aware evil; which means that even though there’s gotta be something fucked up with his worldview for him to choose to be evil, it is a choice he’s making, not something he’s doing specifically because he believes it’s right/necessary. And he can turn it off when he decides he’s with someone that deserves it.

Now, is Alastor on that list? Not currently, hell no. But there’s potential for him to make it on the list—that potential for Sir Pent to care about him again, to want to see him throw off the things that he’s using to hold himself back, to want to see him become better and happier, to want him back in Sir Pent’s life—buried somewhere deep beneath Sir Pent’s burned emotions and decades of resentment.

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010s: 90 - 86

90. Suzy - “Queiro ser tua” Portugal 2014

~Huawei Wa Wei~

I have mentioned earlier that Moran Mazor is arguably the saddest NQ, but Suzy is definitely up there in people whose success I was rooting for. Indeed, I mostly love Suzy because she was a TRAGICALLY ROBBED UNDERDOG.

You see, Suzy was ~BULLIED~ from the moment she had won FdC, and beaten Catarina in the F2. Now, I personally don’t mind “Mea Culpa” itself (my favourite was the drunken pirate hag known as 😍 ZANA 😍, but that’s for another ranking). However, I don’t think I’ve *EVER* witnessed a fanbase as  downright evil as the Catarina stans. These ‘people’, by the lack of a better term, make the Beyoncé and Ultimo fans appear like kind and rational people. These... self-proclaimed ‘eurovision fans’ tried to intimidate Suzy into quitting by sending her death threats, all because she DARED to beat their erstwile female-mediocre flavour-du-jour. Who the fuck does that? Human pieces of shit, that’s who. 😤

There’s an *additional* sociocultural connotation to the entire Suzy vs Catarina debacle, but my friend André, who is Brazillian and has Suzy in his 2014 top three made a great post about the issue back in the day, so I’ll just quote him for those who want more backstory:

Quero Ser Tua belongs to a music genre called "pimba", which is perceived by the Portuguese middle and upper classes as tasteless and vulgar because of simple melodies and dirty metaphors (the latter not present in Quero Ser Tua). So they despised Suzy and (...) went in a fucking frenzy [when she won FdC], attacked the composer of Quero Ser Tua (also the father of pimba music), and accused him to rigging the televote and even started dozens of petitions (alol) and regularly vandalised Wikipedia writing that Portugal's entry was "disputed" or that Catarina was the real winner (holy alol).  This drama speaks to me because Quero Ser Tua and pimba music in general sound like other genres of popular music we have here in Brazil that are also derided by the snotty-nosed middle class as vulgar and devoid of "culture", often with racial connotations on top of the social class ones. To me, Suzy's victory (rigged or not) has a political message: pimba IS culture, like any other kind of music, and it deserves to represent a country as great as Portugal because it's part of their culture and they should be proud. It's definitely a bigger statement than the bourgeois, mediocre Mea Culpa and I am proud of every Portuguese that voted for Suzy to win. <3

As for ~my~ layman’s opinion, well, I just think the song possesses some great summer sprit.😊  It’s a colourful explosion of cheerful accordeon, moody percussion and ethnic frivolity. 😍 Listening to “Quero ser tua” makes me very happy about 100% of the time, almost as much as the knowledge that, after being disliked for most of the pre-show, Suzy won everyone except for her most diehard haters over, becoming someone who is now almost unanimously deemed one of the most robbed NQs. STAY PRESSED, HATERS. >pasta :victorydance:

________________________________________________________________

89. Jana Burcheska - “Dance Alone” F.Y.R. Macedonia 2017

[2017 Review here]

Like many of the 2017 entries, my passion for Jana dropped over time. Make of it what you must but I think the live of “Dance alone” kind of cheapens it... and you know what I think about cheap and trashy, I LOVE THAT OBVIOUSLY.😍

However, I also think the cheapness does Jana dirty, because “Dance alone” also happens to be one of my favourite songs OF 2017. Its 80s synth sound and high voltage fierceness left me bald and straight UPON IMPACT, with madly quotable lyrics that I STILL use in friendly banter to this day. 😍 

The awesomeness is only further enhanced by Jana, who is -independently from her song- also one of the best humans in 2017. I absolutely ADORED this goat-voiced gremliness from the SECOND she spent her first interview shading the fuck out of Rykka 😍 (check the 2017 review for the dirt) and then proceeded to troll the press people by teasing that she actually couldn’t sing for no reason. 😍

Which brings me to the live act which.... conceptually is a match to the song, but which also doesn’t do it justice. Don’t get me wrong, Jana contorting her body as she’s assaulted by a Carolean windmachine sustains the crap out of me, but I have always thought “Dance alone” had more potential than shown in the live. (Getting rid of  the “Wishing you could hold me close” closer is particularly upsetting imo.) Moldova and Azerbaijan would’ve turned “Dance alone” into an EASY top 30 in this ranking, but in the hands of Macedonia it’s a mere top 90 for me. 😭

________________________________________________________________

88. Lake Malawi - “Friend of a friend” Czech Republic 2019

only a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend 

Lake Malawi live the ultimate BorisBubbles dream: IMMENSELY annoying song whose appeal hinges entirely on how uncomfortable it makes other people, somehow convinces about ~95% of the loyal eurofans that it’s a fantastic masterpiece. 😍 ADVERSI-DEITIES 😍

Of course, the axis around which Lake Malawi spins is Albert, a human spark plug and mankind’s youngest thirty year old. Seeing Albert fling himself around the stage, never losing his entheusiasm is the main reason why “Friend of a friend” exceeded my already high expectations! Another, slightly-less awesome reason however is the D-sound-like staging:

It really just is a clever, likable entry. Of course, that doesn’t take away that “Friend of a Friend” is objectively one of the most irritating songs ever, making it anathema to the televoters’ tastes <3 😭(😍)

________________________________________________________________

87. Jamala - “1944″ Ukraine 2016

It is only FITTING that Jamala and Lake Malawi rank alongside each other, star-crossed lovers that they are. ALBERT x JAMALA 5ever:

A greater love story than even Alfred x Amaia. However, this post is mostly about Jamala, so LET US discuss a great, if controversial winner. I will start with a small caveat and say that “1944″ isn’t the song for me. One of the biggest dealmakers in Eurovision songs for me is replayability “1944″ just doesn’t have that quality for me. I only really relisten to it when I must, for rewatching purposes. However, that does make the few times I DO revisit “1944″ all the more magical to me. If we take on board that songs are a means of expression, then “1944″ is one of the best songs ever, for the themes it expresses are all too real. I don’t even NEED the gutwrenching, defiant lyrics to *FEEL* the pain the nation of Ukraine is going through. The act sends shivers down my spine, body aching all the time. The Jamala Tree is one of modern Eurovision’s most iconic visuals: 

Of course, that ALSO makes “1944″ one of the most notoriously political entries of all time. Now, other fans of Jamala might argue that, “No, it’s not about the Crimean war at all, just the historic deportation” and well... no? There is a reason why Jamala wrote this song *NOW* and not the last time she entered Vidbir. It *is* Jamala’s way of coping with the Russian invasion, something which *also* ties into her own family history. “1944″ is a very elegant, tasteful middlefinger aimed at Putin, but it’s a middlefinger nonetheless. However, what if it is? The Ukraine vs Russia conflict is a notoriously heated one and potshots are to be expected. If I have to chose between an open attack and a backhanded one (such as that rubbish entry from the Tolmachevy Sisters, or the two rubbish ones by Julia Samoylova), I will always pick the former. 

Overall, I greatly appreciate “1944″ and think it’s a great winner. The composition is evocative of both Ukraine’s history and musical traditions, as well as their current predicament, making “1944″, despite pertaining to a specific year, a timeless experience. It is very deservingly considered one of Eurovision’s best winners by the fanbase, and I hope it remains a favourite for future generations to come. 

________________________________________________________________

86. Joan Franka - “You and Me” The Netherlands 2012

Yes, Joan ranks one spot above Jamala lmfao. EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED!!! 😈

Back in 2012, I obviously was a feverish Joan stan, mostly for Ironic reasons: “LMFAO JOAN TARD... it’s YOU... and ME! SO SILLY <3″ -- me Circa 2012, when my wit amounted to calling lovable dimwits “tards” and quoting song lyrics. 

In 2019, I can say that... I still love Joan for her ineptitude and frivolity, but with the added layer of *genuinely* loving Joan for Joan. From the consistently offkey singing, to dressing up like a Lakota warchief (completely oblivious to how inappropriate this is 😍), to the bonfires (pandering to the Land Of Fire, Azerbaijan 😍) and the general-happy-go-lucky vibe, “You and me” just feels so.. real? Like a real person regaling real stories of a real romance with a real (boy)friend. It is so disarmingly earnest, which of course, being stuck in 2012, meant that it was unceremoniously offed by the professional juries. TOO PURE FOR THIS DAMN’ WORLD. 😭

Since this update booted the final entries from Portugal, Macedonia and the Czech Republic, I’ll disclose my final thoughts below, as to not disrupt the ranking:

PORTUGAL:

Honestly, a pretty good chart for Portugal, despite being the fourth country to be fully eliminated from the ranking. I was hoping that Salvabrat would have started a hot streak, but alas. Portugal just keep getting screwed over by subpar staging and their own stubborness, leading to insistent dismissal by the fanbase. I fucking hope people (Portugal deniers) come to their senses though because they are consistently robbing one of Eurovision’s best fucking countries. 

NORTH MACEDONIA:

Sean Tarbuck from ESCUnited nailed Macedonia the best: they are a country of amazing music and utterly disastrous lives. They are probably the single worst stagers in Eurovision? The numbers don’t lie, with a qualification rate equivalent worse than San Marino’s. Just look at what Slovenia and Serbia are doing, Maco, and you’ll be fine!!!

CZECH REPUBLIC

There isn’t much to say about the Czech, but they’ve finally contributed with an entry I not only liked, but loved. I do think we are in the beginning years of a Czech Golden Age though and if they can keep that hot streak going, Eurovision might be coming to Prague very soon (ie: within the next five years.)

[rakuraiwielder]

I'm working on your ask, but here's some for you: I, A, M, S, P, O, T

Ask prompt here: x

thanks puffin!! this is gonna be long and nostalgic eyy

I - HasTumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why? 

I wouldn’t say “actively dislike” butthe toxicity of fandom on this website has sucked away most of my passion for Voltron lol. I used to really dig itthe first month or so after getting really into it when S2 aired. I still havean unfinished draft for a 7-parter rarepair fic //ey guess my fav duo ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)// sitting in my folders. don’t think I’llbe touching it any time soon though. im rather burnt out from this fandom, evenif I do still enjoy watching all the new seasons thereafter.

another is StevenUniverse ah a. (but in its and my defence, I wasn’t really into it anywaysas compared to other fandoms. the songs are still good, but I haven’t beenkeeping up with the newer Steven bombs, one part because of motivation, andanother because the thought of going into the tags to reblog contentintimidates the heck out of me pffft)

A - Ships that youcurrently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone hasOTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

(puffin this question is gonnatake up half the ask oh god)oh bOY where do I start hahahaha. there’s so many aph and fe callbacks hahaha few otps aside I really have too manycrackpairs and platonic friendship ride-or-die squads I would die for. theseare only a few really relevant ones from the top of my head-

OTPS:

Norway/Vietnam (Hetalia) – alWAYS. i dont talk about and reblog much aph anymore but i still think about these two frequently. they were my first and closestthing ever to an actual otp in all my years of knowing what an otp was gosh Ihope to write about them again soon. their dynamics are the peak of mypreferences.

MU(avatar unit)/Silas (FE Fates) – thechildhood friends + loyal knight and liege trope + a pinch of memory loss wasnever really my thing, but guess there’s a first for everything ha h a ah a….silas is too pure for the angst I put him through im so sorry ಸ ل͜ ಸ

Berkut/Rinea (FE: SOV) – the second that one cutscene of these two played I got1000% more invested in the story pffft. anyways rinea may be top tier fav andberkut shit tier fav, and their story tragic as heck (and I would also arguethat he doesn’t deserve her), but their genuine and honest love for each otheramidst the incoming death flags gets me every time

707/MC (Mystic messenger) – honestly they can either be a really good platonicdynamic duo or a solid otp. purely from the perspective of my own MC, theycomplement each other well; perfect balance of light-hearted teasing and asolid wall of comfort for each other.

Ray-Saeran/MC (Mystic messenger) – ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

(Other) Ships:

Seychelles/Iceland/HK (Hetalia) – they are good togetherromantically or platonically hahahaha. a good golden trio of kids

Russia/Vietnam (Hetalia) – their potential relationship and clashof character due to conflicting personalities fascinate me. a totally differentnoir vibe from norviet and one I hope to explore if I ever come back to aph

Nyx/Leo (FE Fates) – nyx ships are reallyrare but half of them are surprisingly sweet and poignant. Odin and Laslow tooare really sweet candidates to woo this jaded grandma’s heart.

MU/Laslow (FE Fates) – got to thank a wacky7-11 employee au dream I had for this one. but in the games their supportconversations are surprisingly thoughtful and low-key flirting which was notwhat I expected at all. wholesome.

Ham/Kai (MUxMU, FE) – remember when I said protag/protagships are the good stuff? yea h thatprincess tutu au is coming along swell

Alm/Celica (FE: SOV) – the rare main canon couple I love whodon’t die and get their happy ending (LOL this sounds really pathetic now thatI’ve said it)

Leon/Valbar (FE: SOV) – no one is surprised LOL. romantic orno, as long as leon is happy with where he stands with valbar and valbar ishappy with where he is im happy for them both

Conrad/Rinea (FE: SOV) – I know there are a couple of youreading this whos gonna give me that look but liste n; they could have met, and there is potential for them.(honestly this is just like another norviet situation where I put my 2 topfaves together for crackpair experimentation bUT IT WORKS I ASSURE YOU)

Zen/MC (Mystic messenger) – zen is so earnest that I can’t refute himhahaha. he also has a special seat in my mysme heart, since he was the firstroute I played and made me create content for the fandom proper

707/Jaehee (Mystic messenger) – they are rapidly gaining OTP status ꉂ (´∀｀)ʱªʱªʱª aaaa nightmare flashbacks because justlike norviet they really are the rarest of crackpairs and have almost to no content(gonna get down to business and churn fic out one day). these two are moresimilar than they’d think too.

Cecil/Haruka (Utapri) – ahahaha a good ship from a guiltypleasure fandom

(Purely) Platonic:

Izuku/Iida/Ochako (BNHA) – the first golden trio of thisseries. I love them so much.

Vanderwood/MC (Mystic messenger) – they parallel each other. truly thebiggest ride-or-die duo I will support to the end of time

Zen/Yoosung (Mystic messenger) – zen is such a mother hen to yoosungwwwww truly wholesome

Chise/Ruth (Ancient Magus Bride) – platonic master/familiar-partner relationships where both of them care for each other so much to the point where they would die for the other are my one weakness. its the reason i love writing more fleshed-out pokemon aus and loyal dogs/animals in longer fics. anyways these two are good

M - Name acharacter that you’d like to have for a friend.

707. It would be a trip justknowing him. (apart from the memes. but my life is already 80% meme, honestlywhats the difference ahahaha aaa-) Just, I feel like it would be really fun tohang out with him and revel in his wackiness (even if that personality is afront, maybe one day when i finally get into his inner-circle of friends, I hopeto be privy and be a good listening ear to his truer, more sombre personality.)

On the other hand, myself-confidence and 2nd hand embarrassment will be directlyproportional to each other (And im 100% sure Seven is the kind of person whowill exploit that hAH)

S - Show us anexample of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

Every relevant character inMysmes is either a type of asexual (greysexual etc.), or on various points ofthe bi-spectrum. Yeah; even self-proclaimed, “straight-laced” Zen lol.

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (wealways need more ideas)

Vampire/Selkie AU ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

a selkie whose skin gets stolen and hidden from a human man is forced to become his bride and taken back to his village. there, to escape the stares of bigoted villagers and the clutches of her overbearing and possessive husband, she takes refuge in the only place he would not go; the old holy church.

only, she finds she isn’t the first to occupy this place of solitude. the master of the church notices her soon enough, and when vampire recognises the ancient weave of magic that flows within her, he appears; intrigued for something other than a fresh meal.

(basically a deviation from the standard vampire (romance-ish) novels lolol plot bunny hit me pre-Christmas eve dinner/yesterday and sofar im digging it. still planning the ship and fandom though; it might very easily be OC-based)

O - Choose a songat random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

since 1 is never enough, hereare 4 songs I was listening to recently:

Little Knights, Nem feat.Noire : Zen/MC(a zen-ish song through and through)

over and over, Yanagi Nagi : Saeran Choi + 707&MC(more saeran-centric with interpretative lyrics and referencing to both ray andunknown personas)

Finding something to do, HelloGoodbye : 707/Jaehee(fits their “don’t go where I can’t follow” dynamic haha ow.)

Life will Change, Shoji Meguro + Benjamin Franklin feat. Lyn Inaizumi : Kai(mui) or Ham(let)(honestly the entire persona 5 ost is massive fe fates protag feels)

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons thatyou will die defending?

Not really. I’m a very flexible person when it comes tointerpretable lore and content, especially if it’s the type of HCs that thefandom collectively comes up with. Unless it’s a canon fact, I like to dabble orjust stay away from HCs in general. If I have to come up with some in my fics,then so be it. But most of the time these HCs are either super vague or onlyapply to the context in this particular piece or series of writing. Basically Idon’t mind switching HCs for charas frequently as long as it does notfundamentally change their own character. (HCs for hobbies and loves and habitsand relationships apart from their inner circle, etc. are all fine)

Honestly it just boils down to expectations lol I know myown limits, and I know not to be disappointed when canon updates end updebunking (popular) fandom HCs or my own.

[rkyjun]

winter singer contest now playing... 풍경 (scenery) by v

he wasn’t really sure what was going through his head when he signed up for this contest. 

he didn’t really have business hanging around in times square mall. coex was obviously the better mall. it was more lively and, in his opinion, offered more of his interests than the former mall did. but of course, his mom kept on pestering him about getting a job to get nice things for himself. he recognizes she says that because she wants the best for him, but it only annoys him. 

however, even if so, she did have a point. it’s why he’s at this mall instead since it’s the closest one. but it’s because he wasn’t super confident in getting a job that resulted in his sour mood after his interviews. and when he gets a call from his mother asking about it, it only resulted in never-ending lectures. wanting to blow off steam, he stopped by the food court to get something to eat. and as he walks around while drinking his fruit smoothie, he spots the signups and notices the word “sing”. 

he could’ve forgotten about it had they not sent him an email reminding him of it. 

( tw: depression(?) )

it was a bit of a challenge to find a winter song that would fit him. they were either too sad or out of his range (he really considered lowering the pitch for “twinkle” by lovelyz, but he later decided against it). after minutes of focused youtube searching (he got distracted by three videos before he realized), he settled on one song: scenery. in terms of the overall song, he thought it was simple in arrangement but emotional in terms of meaning. the progression was something he could easily play on a keyboard. the strings aren’t as easy as the piano, but he would still be able to make his own instrumental if he wanted to. but the way it blends with the emotional voice that sang the ever so gentle lyrics was what sold him by the end of it. (not to mention, he was able to breathe in this song. his first option, he ran out of breath easily.) 

he practiced singing the song whenever he had free time. any time he was at home not doing homework he chooses to do, he takes the time to warm up his voice and sing it, recording each attempt on his phone to listen and cringe at. his parents never asked him about it because him singing “for no reason” was nothing new for their son. he’d always been a singer, despite the fact that they tried to force him to be something else. so whenever he took the time to sing the song and learn what to improve on, they didn’t even bother. 

when the day finally comes, he begins to have second thoughts. there’s probably people here that are better than me. he thinks to himself. i probably came here for no reason. i don’t even sing as much as i used to anymore. i haven’t sung anything seriously in almost two years. what’s the point of even being here? as countless thoughts flood his head as he waits for his turn, his name is suddenly called up and he takes a deep breath. he’s freaking out as he stands behind the mic, walking slightly closer to it to introduce himself. “ah… hi! i’m choi yeonjun. i’m going to be singing scenery by v for you… yeah!” nervous chuckle and he nods to indicate that he’s ready to start. he feels like he talked too much, but hopefully, it isn’t too much of a problem. 

the music starts, starting with the familiar chord progression that he’s fond of. he listens to it to try and tell himself to calm down, tapping along to the rhythm of it. once the intro ends and it’s his cue to start, he takes a breath and sings the lyrics, feeling himself mirror the singer. 

꽃들이 가득한 거리에 - in the streets full of flowers

오늘도 그대를 보네요 - i see you today too

내 안에 담겨질까요 - will it be in me? 

as he sings those words, he has a fond smile on his face. music had always been his remedy, but singing was something that just made negative feelings immediately go away. even if he had his doubts about the contest earlier, he had to admit that it felt nice to be able to go on stage again even if it wasn’t exactly like sopa. he always did feel like he was truly himself when he was performing. wherein real-life interactions he restricted himself from saying anything too personal about himself, he was able to let himself go when he sings. 

새벽 달이 지난 공원에 - in the park of the early morning

지금 내 감정을 담아요 - i have my feelings now

이 노랜 그댈 향해요 - towards this old yellow

밤하늘 달에게 비춰진 - illuminated by the moon 

필름의 소리를 들어요 - listen to the film

he’s able to relate to these lyrics. as a person who didn’t like revealing his sentimental self to others, he often visited the park to calm himself down whenever he felt upset. even if he wasn’t upset, he still went there just for the calming atmosphere. even if he loved the bustling city, he always took time to appreciate the little bit of nature that was in it. in the morning, he was able to see the liveliness of the children. but in the evening, he could enjoy the peaceful silence. not to mention, it just felt better to take a deep breath in. the air was cooler. 

i still wonder wonder beautiful story 

still wonder wonder best part 

i still wander wander next story 

i want to make you mine 

the chorus is sweet. sure, it felt a little awkward to sing, considering he knew that it was grammatically incorrect. but it still made him happy. the soft smile doesn’t ever leave his face as he sings this because he recognizes the meaning of the lyrics and the intention. not to mention, the falsetto was pretty in the song. and though he can’t exactly mirror the amount of emotion into it, he’s able to mirror the gentle touch to it. 

그 찰나의 시간의 그 모습을 - that's the time of the moment

놓친 내 마음이 아쉬워해 - i missed my lost mind

후회가 돼 다시 그 찰나가 있기를 - i regret it

the lyrics have a nostalgic vibe to them and it’s something yeonjun enjoys. with him trying his absolute best in the hopeless present, he always looked back at his past. he believes that high school was truly his peak, his time in california coming in at a close second. he realized his passion during that time and made so many wonderful friends and memories during that time. 

he misses those days. even if his issues have been with him for much longer, he was able to ignore them during those two years at that school. he was much happier. more free. every time he looks back on those memories, he wonders if he could have gained the courage to tell his parents no. if he moved out and worked to get the money to support himself, would he have ended up differently? if he went to k-arts like he wanted to, would he be happier? would he stop blaming himself for not following his dream? 

it’s not like he completely hated the life he was living now. he liked the friends he met through snu. had he went to another school, he wouldn’t have met woong. and though he’s not sure if the other felt the same way, he was grateful to have met someone as honest and blunt as him. if he changed schools, would he even be able to like someone like that? what other reason was there to cling onto another honest person if you were honest yourself? 

he doesn’t know.

달빛 조각 하나하나 모아 - collect a moonlight piece

조명을 만들 테니 - i'll make the lights

어제와 같은 모습으로 - like yesterday

내 앞에 와주세요 - come in front of me

this portion of the lyrics he’s not sure if he can relate to. however, he applauds the songwriter for writing such pretty words. the imagery is clear in his mind as he feels like he is back at the park at night. in a way, he feels like he could compare himself to the sun and the moon. when it’s morning, he’s perhaps the brightest person he could be. he was usually surrounded by others and was 100% with those people. but when it’s nighttime, he always felt the calmest. as much as he loved the mornings, he always favored the evenings a little more. 

perhaps it is because of the fond memories of staying up late at night and being the most creative he could be by that time. there were so many nights where all he did was write songs and play around with logic until a solid idea came to him. and the results of said nights? he could say he was proud of most of them. 

either way, he sings those lyrics with peaceful night walks at the park in mind. most of his nerves were already gone before this point in the song, but now he felt more at peace. 

i still wonder wonder beautiful story 

still wonder wonder best part 

i still wander wander next story 

i want to make you mine 

he was able to sing each of the extended high notes that followed after this chorus with ease. during the process of rehearsing this, he always cringed at that part whenever he listened back to it. “why do i feel like my vowels are not good here?” he asked himself one day. the more he listened to it, however, the more he felt confident about what to do for that part. 

he’s sure he’s not perfect, but at least he was confident this time. 

i still wonder wonder beautiful story 

still wonder wonder best part 

i still wander wander next story 

i want to make you mine

발자국 남기고 떠나가시면 - if you leave footprints

제가 그 온길 지킬게요 - i'll keep it warm

흑백 속 에 남길게요 - i'll stay in black and white

the last chorus of songs was always the best one, he thinks. it’s like the stages of time: past, present, and future. it was fitting, too, considering this song was essentially about time. however, as this song was ending, it’s hard to not think about the future when singing it. 

if he compared his life to a story (that he would want to listen to), he would probably look most forward to his ending. with so much love for the past that he isn’t able to mirror for the present, he wonders if he’ll end up okay in the long run with the choices he has made. he still loves music, even if he was experiencing a falling out with it due to him not doing anything about it for a whole year. but he hopes that he would be able to never lose his love for it. that one day he’ll feel his spark again. 

but of course, only he can hope. 

with the song coming to an end, he sings the last few lyrics with the dream of one day making a mark if his future went well. if he was able to pursue music somehow, he at least wanted to be remembered for it. perhaps, when he makes his mark as a musician, maybe he could look back on this day to let him know how far he’s gone. but of course, only time will tell. 

as the song ends and he hears the sound of applause, he walks offstage and feels… light. he’s not sure what it is exactly he feels, but he does know that it’s good. and even if he doesn’t win anything by the end of this, he does not regret this. 

in fact, if anything, he wants to do something like that again. 

[tunerandomiser]

Stormzy’s Gang Signs and Prayers (GSAP) is set to be as iconic as Boy In Da Corner, if not more so and here’s why…

With Integrity, Konnichiwa, Landlord, Made in The Manor, and Godfather all having dropped within the last 3 years, it’s fair to say that finally grime is starting to make it. Saying that 23 year old Stormzy’s Gang Sings & Payers is greater than all these albums, would be a big statement, but certainly not a wrong one. It’s a piece of art that cuts deep into Big Mike’s rapid rise to fame, and most importantly how his family life hasn’t got away from him. Paired with fantastic instrumentals, and undeniable swagger, Stormzy’s ability to make an album true to its genre, himself, and attractive to listen to for almost anybody, is honestly unique. This album is Stormzy laid bare, it’s a thank you to God, his mother, his fans, and his friends, and the passion shines through to make a beautiful piece of art. Despite it only being early days, I see this album as iconic, not only for grime but for the sound of the UK reaching to all realms of the world.

I had such hope for this album because as I discovered and learnt about the rise of Stormzy, I couldn’t but smile.  He is wholesome to the core, and always gives me a reason to smile, whether it’s 8 year old Stormzy spitting his playground rhymes to his mum,(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TH9eVdQ8D0), or in or his honest and open love for Adele’s music, ‘I was in the 02 screaming my lungs out, your never to big for Adele’. This week alone he performed a remix of Ed Sheeran’s ‘Shape Of You’ live at the Brits (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4GIfNf7AYk), he dropped a quite frankly amazing remix of the Kanye West’s ‘Ultralight Beam’ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCqLR5svy9Y) on BBC 1 live lounge and a euphoric live band performance of his addictive single ‘Big For Your Boots’ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6uBpFWt65c), here’s the lowdown on his untouchable album…

 1.     First Things First – This song speaks for itself. In this opening song he spits bars straight from the heart, discussing family problems, drawing to light the contradiction of his success, leaving those he used to go to school and play football with, left on road or doing life. With a low-key persistent ringing like instrumental, Stormzy goes in very hard, taking control of the beat with deep lyrics of fending off depression and the struggles of his uncontrollable rise to the top. It’s a song where you can almost imagine him penning down the lyrics, as each 16 bar anecdote he tells seems too true.

  2.     Cold – New school grime at its best, this song will go off every time it’s played. A hench instrumental which just grows as the song progresses, quick, FX filled drums and a heavy bass making this reminiscent of Roll Deep’s ‘When I’m ‘ere’. This is the first for the four *GRIME BANGERS in this album. The punch line “I just went to the park with my friends, then manna charted” was a personal favourite of mine. Changing up the flow keeps the song going to such a speed you wonder when he found space to breathe. This song is a bossy MC track throughout, and keeps the album on 10/10 levels

 *GRIME BANGER– not to say the other 12 songs aren’t grime or aren’t bangers, but these 4 are the type of song that you go off to for the full 4 minutes or so, The Americans would describe them as ‘LlT’. This drops hard anywhere.

 3.     Bad Boys (Ft. Ghetts and J Hus) – Moving deeper into GSAP, we are presented with a song very representative of the danger, and dark nature of his ends. Over slow trappy style, hi hat filled drums, Stormzy slowly ups the intensity of his bars as a collection of strings, a deep choir vocoder, and hollow chimes in the instrumental go hand in hand with his sincerely dark bars. A song where you realise the grind he has been on to get here, mixed with the cold reality of how easily it could’ve not gone that way. Despite blowing up, Stormzy gives this song to remind us of his roots and that he is not to be fucked with. In a beautiful juxtaposition however J Hus jumps on the hook with insanely smooth vocals then Ghetts with the perfect feature verse for this song. Although one knows that Stormzy could’ve filled GSAP with superstar features such as Skepta and D Double, he choses wisely as Ghetts’ sharp aggressive spitting style is passionately caught up with the weight of this beat, while suiting the theme of the song (Bad Boy Vibes) to the core.

  4.     Blinded By Your Grace – You weren’t expecting this, or really wanting it, but Big Mike delivers a love song. Soft over an innocently played electric piano, some smooth vocals, I could say more but it’s hard to imagine Stormzy in this way until you’ve heard it. A welcome surprise, an interlude, it’s hard to explain but just listen.

 5.     Big For Your Boots – The official return of Stormzy after 9 months silence. The 2nd of the 4 GRIME BANGERS in the track listing. He says ‘boots’ weirdly, we’ve gotten over it but now can’t get that hook out of our heads. This song speaks for itself. Its been out for a week or so already and it wont stop going off. A fantastic music video, filled with iconic chicken shops, uber-clique of, has already 7.5 million views and isn’t close to stopping.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFOErVWlsxg

 6.     Velvet/Jenny Francis - Another love story, Stormzy tells stories of his affections towards a certain someone with a pad filled atmospheric instrumental. Showing vulnerability over an appropriate beat and nailing it is something grime artists struggle to do…(I felt Skepta failed with ‘Text Me Back’) but again Stormzy hasn’t fallen short as he leads you through the track switching from bars to smooth vocals. This song is great but has been frustratingly infused with an intermission which is its only downside, the track drags on slightly too long in my opinion.

 7.     Mr Skeng - I cannot stop playing this. It’s the first song I went back to after first hearing the album in its entirety. It is so Stormzy, and it is so good. Repping himself, ‘The Wicked Skengman’ to the core with hard bars, calling out anyone who goes for him and doing it in his classic neat and attitude filled manor. If you love Stormzy you will love this song. It’s a stand out tune with the strong string and horns in the instrumental bringing the same power as the man himself.

 8.     Cigarettes & Cush (Ft. Kehlani) – Like a grown up version of recent Stormzy hit ‘Birthday Girl’, this song has happy relationship vibes, just such a groove. With a very catchy hook, a silky verse from Kehlani, and a soft story telling, anecdotal verse, followed by a second deeper verse from Stormzy, this is his take on a rainy day song, pure versatility.

  9.     21 Gun Salute (interlude) (Ft. Wretch 32) – Feels like a full song rather than an interlude due to its beauty. A melodic reverb filled electric piano plays as Stormzy puts prayers into his own words, in a short wholesome verse. Wretch 32 is on the hook and he fits so harmonically with the piano as he calls for the 21 gun salute. Ultralight Beam Vibe

 10.  Blinded By Your Grace, Pt. 2 (Ft. MNEK) – A suitable part 2. Its very different to part 1, here he brings quiet and low-key vibes but in a progressive manor using pads, a choir, and some strong drums to lead him into a passion filled emotionally exclaimed verse leaving you feeling warm inside. MNEK’s feature is utterly euphoric, the instrumental continually grows into a crescendo with a harmonically whaling electric guitar.

 11.  Return of the Rucksack - The 3rd of 4 GRIME BANGERS on this album starting with low pitch vocals over hard, simple grime drums and a small string, with brass stabs produced by the OG Sir Spyro. This song feels like one for MCs on the road because it’s simple but hard and has repeated references to Dizziee’s legendary ‘Put these MCs on deep-freeze ‘ with lengy and funny bars, punch lines hitting consistently. There is a lot of great maturity in this album, but this feels like a gold plated version of a very a random Soundcloud grime song, one for the true grime fans.

 12.  100 Bags – One for his mum, a minimalist instrumental with soft drums and a rolling reverbed piano, nice to listen to, relate to, and enjoy the rhymes. Like Kanye Wests ‘Hey Mama’, it’s great to hear his appreciation and love through his music. In the second part of the song Stormzy exits with a warm vocoder accompanying his voice, easing out the song with one more chorus following that.

 13.  Don’t Cry For Me (Ft. Raleigh Ritchie) - Honestly my least favourite song on the album. Not that it isn’t quite a nice song, two strong verses from Stormzy, however the Raleigh Ritchie feature just doesn’t quite feel in place.

 14.   Crazy Titch (Interlude)  - Says a lot of what I think, I like this

 15.  Shut Up – Where it all started. Not literally, Stormzy had been around for many years but this is why this album is here. One day he put on a full red Adidas tracksuit, went to the park with 20 man and recorded the video which now has over 30 million views on YouTube. Bringing Grime back to a worldwide audience, this song speaks for itself.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqQGUJK7Na4

 16.  Lay Me Bare – Ending the album, one of my favourite tracks. Stormzy addresses his never previously discussed father and the hardships Stormzy and his mother went through in a truthfully deep and detailed storytelling rhyme switching it up, all in such vivid detail. He lays it all out, he shows honest vulnerability, rare for a grime MC, and of course he does it naturally and artistically and fucking nails it. Finishing my favourite ever grime album. It came out today, but when you know, you know.

 If this doesn’t win a Brit… well let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

Edited by: Heather Percival

[itsyaboybigc-blog]

Post Mortem

Introduction

After about 9 weeks of recording and mixing, all I can say is, never again. I swore in my post mortem I’d never spend as much time in lab 2 again, but I think I doubled it this trimester. That being said, I think creatively I really achieved what I was hoping to, whether or not I achieved what I wanted in terms of my mixing remains to be seen. As usual, I will reflect on each song individually and compare to what I believe is a similar work, so here’s my reflection on “Warp”.

Prelude

It’s worth noting that due to me swamping between DAW’s that have different fade functions, I messed up the fades on Pro-tools doing my final batch fades and parts that are meant to be faded out are now audible and very obvious, including a guitar jack getting pulled out, so thank you Pro-tools for that.

Darkest Carnival

Certainly the heaviest and most “traditional” song on the EP. It begun with the intro guitar riffs which i thought had quite a sinister undertone to it and I thought it would be a good song to start the album off with and  build it up. I’m quite happy with the clean guitar tones I recorded for this track and the helix FX I used I think sound really nice, my only change to them is I’d like to maybe make the tone a bit warmer from the amp instead of having to EQ it in. Then the heavy guitars came in and my problems started. The initial tones I captured from the amp were okay but definitely had to much highs and I found the sounds too piercing, the only way I was able to salvage them was to record anther take using the Helix amps sims so I’d have complete control over the tone I was capturing, however I’m still not to thrilled with how it sounds and will likely re do it at a later date. I initially had a synth solo that would kind of transition the song into the more electronic direction the EP was heading but it honestly sounded terrible and I decided the best option was to do a super 80s heavy metal guitar solo, I regret not using a wah-pedal on it and going full Kirk Hammett but I quite like the tone I used. I used electronic drums for the intro and Battery sampled drums for the heavier parts, both were fairly easy to mix but getting Battery to sound like a real drum kit was a bit of a challenge. My Idea for this songs vocals comes from Katatonia’s song “Inside the City of Glass” where it has no singing but whispers that eeire play out in the quieter parts of the song. As I wanted to keep all the vocals for this song kind of different to the usual I had a whisper track run through a delay, two reverse delays delaying at different rates, a reverse reverb and a regular reverb. I think the result of this made a vocal track that really fit the sinister vibe of the song as few words are distinguishable but it’s still obviously someones voice which i really like. If I was to compare this to an existing track I’d compare it to “The Darkness Within” by Machinehead, the tones are crushing and defined yet not to piercing with the higher frequencies which I was really trying to do, but certainly did not achieve. I think the distorted guitar tones used in this track is what I was going for Over all I find this song to be the most lacklustre but I am quite happy with the cleans and the vocal parts.

The Forlorn

This song is where the album takes more of a turn towards the more obscure electronic/metal fusion. It starts out with a droney synth, electronic drums and lo-fi vocals and I’m really happy with how this turned out, except for the vocals which are most likely place holders for now. I was going for a sound similar to Nine Inch Nails’ new EP “Add Violence” and I think i got that vibe with out it being a ripoff. The song Then suddenly takes of into a heavy saw/square wave synth that I wanted to sound like the synth equivalent of a distorted guitar, form there guitars and lead synths are added to create a sort of build up. I was hoping to replace a vocal part with a lead synth that would kind of solo through out the whole song and I quite like how it sounded when it all came together. The guitars for this track took a bit of time and a second recording session but I think i managed to achieve my goal of having a heavy but dull sounding tone the chugs along in the background, but I’m not 100% happy with the lead tone and I’m not sure what I don’t like about it. Out of all four songs I think this one was the easiest to mix and I’m fairly happy with how it turned out.

Agony

This song was the first one I wrote earlier this year and kind of what started the idea for this project. the whole song was based around the two music box riffs and the creepy lead synth I think sound sort of like a human voice doing some sort of wailing. The crunching tone that plays through out most the song is actually a bass hitting power chords because I wanted to experiment with a bass taking more of a guitar roll and I think i’ll do it more often in metal as bass power chords sound very brutal. This is kind of similar to the previous song in the sense that it slowly builds up focusing around a lead vocal replacing synth, but was much harder to mix as I found it hard making a place for everything to be heard. As per what seemes to be the theme for this EP, the guitars caused me issues and were re-recorded. I wanted them to sit in the background and not stick out to much but finding the middle ground between typical guitar levels and not being heard at all took almost all the time I spent mixing this track. The drums were a simple 4 piece electronic kit and I’m really happy with how they sound, especially the crash which sounds like someone dropping a metal sheet in a massive cave or something. I wanted the vocals for this song to be as if its another instrument instead of the usual use of vocals being the focal point for the song, so I recorded some low pitched growling vocals with heavy reverb to sort of echo out in the middle of the mix just to really create the climax of the build up. I tried thinking of a song to compare this to but it’s probably the weirdest song I’ve every written and I’m not actually sure what it sounds like, probably more comparable to came sounds tracks where its just repetition with things being added and taken away to create and evolving song. 

Malevolencia

The final song and probably the song I spent the most time on. I wanted to finish the EP on a more mellow note as most metal albums have one song that’s more calm or acoustic than the rest. I was lucky enough to be able to work with my friend Tim Mead from Treehouses on this track and I am very happy with his spoken word parts. We got it all done in about an hour and he had so much lyrical content prepared I was able to pick and chose which lines I wanted. Tim is really professional in is approach to music and recording and  really puts a lot of emotion into his writing, I hope to work with him again soon in some other musical project. This First section of this song was really enjoyable to mix, the clean guitars came through really nice and worked well with the organs, it’s my first time working with an organ I think they sound great. The EQ sweep into the 8 strings it probably my favourite parts as it bring a rather mellow song into a heavier, dronier song. Also my first time working with an 8 string guitar and I look forward to working with them more as I found it really easy to mix them to sound heavy without actually needing to gain the amp that much, which removes all the high-end that gives me headaches. The second half of this song however was a right pain in the ass and as expected, was re-recorded. All the tones had so much high-end and it was painful to listen to, only on the last day did i realise I couldn’t actually hear the organs and brought all the guitars down to make the organs audible, this really saved the song for me as I was close to scrapping the whole end as it sounded awful.

Concluding Statement

I think this semester has been the most full on in terms of skills I’ve had to learn. recording and mixing guitars is certainly no walk in the park and I’m going to have to do a lot of research over the break before undertaking my final major project of a heavy metal album mixed in surround sound with lots of synths and string sections, I believe this semester’s project has prepared me well for this. I realise that this EP doesn’t really fit in anywhere and the songs are all quite different, but I’m happy with how it turned out and I like to think they all feel linked somehow in terms of the dark feel to the whole EP. I look forward to releasing Warp along with Eco on Bandcamp, however for now they will remain on soundcloud as the graphic artist has not yet finished the album artwork and I want to do more one more final mix on each track.

[rbeatz]

A Beautiful Tragedy: An Interview with Conrad Clifton

I met Conrad Clifton at an event and like most new producers I meet at these events, I immediately checked out his music when I got home. I was impressed by the versatility in his beats and eclectic nature to his sound. There were elements of hip-hop, trap, indie, latin, and dream synth oriented electronic music that had me dubbing his sound certainly as unique. I couldn’t quite put my finger on a specific genre, and at the same time, I couldn’t stop listening. When I normally hear someone who makes “beats,” I’m waiting for a top line (aka vocals) to help the track add another layer; however, Conrad’s beats stand alone and that need for a vocal element doesn’t necessarily exist. Although he has some vocalists on certain tracks.

Conrad Clifton has been praised by various publications. He is an Independent Music Award Winner for BEST DANCE/ELECTRONICA EP. He was dubbed one of the Top 10 Standout Act at SXSW 2017 by Culture Trip. He performed at Billboard Hot 100 Festival in 2015 and has continued to work with artists and other producers in the industry. His sound production and arrangement narrative are super professional, and he does a lot of his acts LIVE. This is NEXT LEVEL if you ask me.

His newest album, Infinity Pool, was released this spring. I listen to this album while I work, while I clean my house, and I’ll throw it on in the background if I have a bunch of people over. It’s the perfect ambiance music, and I’ve heard through the grape vine that his live act really takes his music to the next level.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Conrad Clifton. You know the drill, click the Spotify embed below and read his full interview below to get the FULL Conrad Clifton experience.

INTERVIEW:

Where are you from and how has that shaped the musician you are today?

I grew up in the Midwest, where everything I listened to was also influenced different genres. I mainly listened to hip-hop, but being in the middle of the country, rap didn’t really have it’s own distinct sound, so we pulled heavily from the East Coast sound as well as West Coast and Dirty South. I came up listening to a lot of Wu-Tang, Nas, Snoop, Dr. Dre, OutKast and UGK. Hip-hop and the samples being used in their productions really exposed me to all different genres of music, so from that, I started studying songs from jazz, soul, indie rock and experimental electronic music. It wasn’t till much later that I got into dance music and started seeing how all these sounds and vibes fit together, or (more importantly) how they could fit together.

What instruments did you play when you were younger?

I studied piano for a few years when I was a kid. My parents got me lessons, but I had too much energy and would’ve rather been outside playing basketball or doing anything else that was actually fun, haha. So I didn’t stick with it, unfortunately. I retained just enough to be creative, now. Can’t really read music anymore. I just play by ear.

Are there an instruments that you currently wish you COULD play?

I’ve always wished that I could play the drums. Percussion really, really speaks to me. You can hear that in my music, I love the creative possibilities of what you can build with only percussion-like sounds.

Tell us the story of how you started creating music on your computer?

I use to play around with rap when I was really young, rapping to songs on the radio or rap instrumentals, but eventually I decided I really wanted to try to write lyrics and make songs. That’s what made me start producing; the necessity of original music to make songs to. I started using really lightweight programs like MTV Generator & Hip Hop eJay, where you just drag and drop samples into place on a timeline. I’ve come a loooong way since those days, thankfully. I graduated to hardware samplers, and then heavyweight DAWs like Cakewalk, Nuendo, Cubase, and ultimately ProTools. Now, I do all my work in Ableton.

What was your favorite studio moment when producing your latest album, Beautiful Tragedy?

Wow, I’m not sure. Probably when I was able to finesse my field recording Roll Call into a percussive transition going into Prince of Crown Heights. I actually recorded the sounds of the West Indian Day Parade, around the corner from my apartment. Then I layered up those live sounds with some tribal percussion that I use throughout POCH. It’s so important for an album to be more than just a collection of songs. It should breath. Like there should be moments, you know? That whole transition from track 1 through track 3 really gave the album a unique feel.

What do you like to do when you’re simply hanging out – aside from music?

I’m pretty heavy into movies. Thrillers and Sci-Fi mainly. And of course, that’s where you hear the most interesting and creative sound design and score. So even there, I can’t get away from it, haha. I’m determined to make music for movies some day. S/O to RZA and Trent Reznor.

Who are your musical influences?

I’m really influenced by “1-of-1” artists and producers, which is what I hope to become. Like, there’s only one Timbaland. Nobody could innovate the sound of a genre the way he did. There’s only one Four Tet, Flying Lotus, Hudson Mohawke, Thom Yorke or J Dilla. So it’s hard to be different. It would be much easier for me to go out and emulate the lit trap artist, or the most pop sounding future bass producer, and win. But that’s short-term thinking. Long-term it makes more sense to be genuine to your creativity and passion.

Who is one of your favorite acts right now to watch live?

Instrumentally, I’d say Bonobo. I love the way he makes use of the players in his band, and all of the sections of his music where he’ll bring in a full choir, or whatever’s necessary to fulfill his vision sonically. In terms of overall music and creative sound design, I love seeing Four Tet or Hudson Mohawke. The way they compose and deliver the music in a live format, and the music itself, really gets to me.

Who has been one of your favorite artists to collab with?

I’ve been working with some really amazing artists that everyone needs to hear. I plan on putting more music out with them in 2018. As far as more established artists, I really loved working with Yelawolf. We did a lot of work together in the past, and to see him become so successful has been really dope. He’s always been a true artist.

What are some of your favorite venues to play and why?

Soundpieces at Monarch in San Francisco was really dope. The sound system was incredible, and the crowd was one of the best I’ve ever experienced. So much love and good vibes from the people there. Also, the main room at Flash in DC was super lit for pretty much the same reasons: the sound system bangs, and the people were dope. In NYC, Rough Trade and Knitting Factory are really good too.

Have you played at any festivals?

Yes! Looking forward to doing more. Billboard Hot 100 Fest was sick, I actually got to watch Lil Wayne’s show from backstage. This year, SXSW was amazing. I got to do a showcase that included some of my favorite artists, like San Holo, Sweater Beats, Chrome Sparks and a lot more. I really loved NXNE in Toronto, as well.

What DAW do you use and why?

I’ve used so many over the years, but now, I do everything in Ableton, composing, mixing, mastering, and performing. It’s the best thing I’ve found that allows you to creatively make different pieces of music, and randomly trial-and-error how pieces fit together like a puzzle. It’s really freeing to be able to work that way, verses lining all your pieces up on a linear timeline, and building song sections that way. It’s also really fun to perform with, triggering audio clips, and throwing in sound effects on the fly.

Do you have a typical music production process? If yes, can you explain it?

Since I’m influenced by so many genres, it’s hard for me to just pick what type of song I want to make before starting on a track, so I don’t fight that. I usually just start by searching for a sound element or virtual instrument that inspires some feeling. After that, I follow it down a rabbit hole, in a way. Depending on what vibe I’m getting from the initial sounds I used and chord progression, I can start to hear/feel how the drums should sound, and I’ll adjust the tempo before starting to add percussion sounds. From there, it’s a whole building process, all driven by feeling. I just go were it takes me, and I never force it. I can’t even complete a song, unless I’m in love with it and feel like I could listen to it over and over.

What is your favorite MIDI Controller or instrument to produce with right now?

In addition to a few other keyboards, I use the Ableton Push 2 when producing and performing. It’s definitely my favorite piece of gear. The tech is deep, and it makes everything easier. I don’t even need to look at my laptop screen when I’m performing, and my sessions are really involved, so that says a lot.

What is one of your favorite or go-to VST Plugin?

I use Native Instruments Komplete, which is more of a collection of VSTs, but it’s definitely a go-to. So many options to choose from to spark ideas.

Do you have a key production tip for our young producers out there?

I’d encourage young producers to take a class on audio mixing, or take lessons from someone who knows. Sooner or later you’ll realize how important it is for you to be able to manipulate the sound spectrum, and be able to bring all your ideas to life. Plus, it’s great to not need someone else in order to finish your own song.

What food do you eat the most?

I’m vegan, so mostly fresh vegetables, big salads, and thick hearty soups.

What is next for Conrad Clifton?

Well Beautiful Tragedy came out this spring, and I released the Nitemare remixes in the summer, but I’m ready to put out some more new music. So I’m currently finishing a follow up to the album. It’ll have a crazy remix of  Time on it, plus some really vibey new originals, and a surprise VIP mix. Beautiful Tragedy was such a strong overall project, and I just want to continue where it leaves off, like a stream of consciousness in a way. You’ll understand when you hear this new EP. Can’t wait to share it!

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Guitarist Chad Gilbert talks about switching things up on New Found Glory’s ninth album Makes Me Sick, writing 100 percent on instinct, what coming out of Florida was like in the ‘90s, and why the band has no plans of going away anytime soon.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

How’s the anniversary tour going?

It is going awesome. Very easy. It’s really cool.

How is it playing full albums but mixing them up, so you’re not playing them in sequence?

It keeps kids on their toes. You show up to a show and you know what songs you’re going to hear, but you don’t know when. So you can’t take a pee break. You can’t go too far or you might miss your favorite song.

I think it’s the better way to go. It makes it so if you like one album better than the other, you don’t have to wait through one to hear the one you like more. They’re mixed together, and it makes the set ramp up and ramp down at different times.

Is there a favorite deep cut you’ve enjoyed playing on this run that maybe you’ve barely played in the past or have never played at all?

I love playing a song called “Your Biggest Mistake” off Catalyst. That song we’ve never played in the set normally and on this tour it’s going awesome. When we play that song, kids go crazy. I was really surprised about that.

So the new record sounds very different than your last one, Resurrection, did. It’s a lot more pop-influenced and less hardcore. The production and instrumentation is a lot fuller. How did you figure out what you wanted to do this time and make that progression?

Without trying to sound too cliché, our music is true to who we are and what we’re going through. In making Resurrection, we were a little bit more pissed off. We wanted to be really raw and aggressive. Touring on that album for two years, seeing our fans love it the way they did and sing along to it, the growth New Found Glory has made has been so cool coming into this new era of our band.

When we went to make this record, we were more self-reflective with this “nothing is going to stop us” headspace. It led for lyrics that are a little bit deeper and music that was not afraid to step out of the box. We went into Makes Me Sick with a lot of confidence. That’s what made us able to grow musically and not be afraid like we used to in trying new things.

I interviewed Aaron Sprinkle last month and he had some very kind words to say about you guys. How did working with him show up on this record?

Having Sprinkle there gave us more room to imagine. When I would write a melody in my head, if I were normally to record it, it would take me an hour to find the right sound to match the keyboard. Where with Sprinkle, I could be like, “Hey Aaron, I wrote this part in my head.” I could sing it to him and be like, “I like the Bananarama vibe on ‘Cruel Summer,’ or this vibe on that song,” and he would know exactly what instrument it was, find the sound, play it, and we could track it within 10 minutes. Maybe even five.

He was able to take our ideas or stuff we wrote and help us find the sounds that were in our heads. You can be a songwriter but it doesn’t necessarily mean you can find the sound. That’s a whole different style of production, and he’s really, really good at that. He’s a great song guy, too, but for us he was about producing this record’s sounds and bringing all of our ideas to life. He was awesome and so fun to work with.

He said when he works with a band that’s been around as long as you have, it’s not that he disregards an artist’s past history, but he tries not to take it too much into consideration. He tries to be in the present and not overthink things. For someone like you, who has a couple hundred songs out at this point, is it a challenge to not overthink too much or be worried that a song sounds like something you’ve done in the past? How do you balance all that?

I don’t think we do at this point. What we remind ourselves is when New Found Glory started, our genre didn’t really exist. There was Blink and West Coast punk that was big, but that was a different style. Us and Saves the Day at around the same time were blending more emotional lyrics with punk/hardcore-influenced stuff. When we started writing songs, it just came out. We didn’t overthink it. Is this punk? Is this not? Is this whatever?

Looking back to Stick and Stones, we had songs on there like “Sonny,” which totally doesn’t fit the genre. Even “Head on Collision” and “The Story So Far,” we had a lot of songs that weren’t so much punk rock songs, they were New Found Glory songs. Looking back throughout our career, we always did that, so we never think about it. We write what feels real.

We never try to fit anything, and we also don’t try to recreate. We don’t go in and go, “Oh man, how do we write a New Found Glory song?” As long as we’re being honest in writing songs that are true and real about what we’re actually feeling, then it always comes out exactly how it’s supposed to.

It’s more on instinct for you, then?

100 percent instinct. It’s never like we got to write a fast song or what if our fans think this. It’s not like that. I don’t mean it in a cocky way, but we feel that our fans trust us. Especially if you look at our catalogue, Coming Home sounds nothing like Sticks and Stones, and Sticks and Stones sounds nothing like Resurrection. But they sing all the songs the same. They love them each differently for their own reasons, and that’s what our fans count on us for. They don’t want to have the same album over and over again.

One of the cool left turns you do on this album is “The Sound of Two Voices.” I don’t know how you describe it. Hawaiian or something like that?

The little sounds and percussion stuff that Aaron added gives it an island vibe. But overall, it was our take on a Paul Simon throwback. When we started writing, it just came out. We were like, “Oh, this reminds me of ‘You Can Call Me Al,’ but somehow still sounding like New Found Glory.”

It almost sounds like it could be in Moana, too.

I love Moana, so I’ll take it.

Were there other highlight songs that you enjoyed working on and writing?

Yeah, I really love the song “Barbed Wire.” I really love the song “Blurred Vision.” The last song on the record, “The Cheapest Thrill,” is a fun one. We made 10 songs because I feel like every song has its own life, its own sort of ride. They all have their own pacing and something in the melody that makes it really different from the song before it.

You also have the most synths on a record since Coming Home, in addition to a lot of layered guitars and some solos. Was that fun to incorporate more of as well?

Yeah, definitely. Looking at older records we’ve put out, and hearing the production and then playing them live, we noticed there’s a difference. Our fans love our songs live, even though it might be missing some of the bells and whistles because we’re still a four-piece. They don’t care. So we were like on this new record, let’s make it an album.

We know there’s two different forms of listening to New Found Glory. There’s when you’re at home, you’re in your car, you’re on your headphones, so we were like let’s make this record sound the best it could be right then and there while you’re listening and not sacrifice anything. If we have an idea, let’s put it in there. Let’s make it really fun to listen to.

And then when people come see us live, they’re busy going off and singing along. No one really comes and listens for the third guitar layer, you know what I mean? You’re there at the show to go crazy and sing along.

You’ve mentioned before there’s a level of vulnerability this album has where you’re not afraid to talk about yourselves like maybe you have been in the past. What about this album do you feel like brought that out more?

I think maturity. Being a little bit older and seeing worries we might have had in the past or mistakes people have made throughout our career. Seeing us come out of them and being able to reflect. After living and touring in a van for 20 years, you learn a lot and you make a lot of mistakes.

Do you think getting married last year had any impact on the record for you?

I wouldn’t say it had an impact on the record because there’s three other band members, you know what I mean? If it did, it’s in the same way that Cyrus having a kid impacted the record, and Ian being sober impacted the record, and Jordan starting a business. All of us individually and where we are in our lives impact our records. I wouldn’t say one impacts more.

So I wouldn’t say so much getting married. It’s who we are now, each of us individually, and realizing the things in our lives that have kept our band going. With this band and writing music, we’re very lucky. Personal lives can be very difficult and very hard. We’re able to use this band as a way to express ourselves and impact other people’s lives, as well as it being therapeutic for our own. That’s what you get with the new record.

I was able to attend Yellowcard’s final show last month and it got me thinking about what pop-punk’s legacy is at this stage. You were two of the biggest bands in pop-punk’s heyday in the early 2000s, but now it’s more of a niche market and we’re at the point where we seem to be losing a prominent band every year. Where do you think the genre is in 2017?

I really don’t think about it, honestly. We were before the genre existed, we’re a part of the genre now, and we’ll still be a part of the genre when it’s not cool, if it ever was cool. I don’t think it ever was cool [laughs].

When we first started, it was always us, Get Up Kids and Saves the Day. No one ever said pop-punk. It wasn’t a thing. It grew and became a thing. Instead of trying to control what our fans think, we wanted to have fun with it, so we played along. This is a 20 years of pop-punk tour. We have no problem with calling ourselves a pop-punk band, because that’s what our fans call us. We’re not overthinking it.

A New Found Glory fan knows we’re not just a pop-punk band. You can see that by going to our shows. There’s people that listen to hardcore. There’s people that listen to metal. There’s people that listen to indie rock, to emo, to pop-punk, to regular punk rock. We have this huge melting pot.

As far as the scene goes right now, I really don’t know. I’ve always felt like we waved the flag of the genre, but whoever breaks up or gets back together or starts, New Found Glory is going to keep going. We’re going to keep doing the same thing. We’ve never been driven by a scene. We built our own world inside of it. So I can’t really say what the scene’s like because there’s so many different styles now.

And the internet has opened things up so much more than when you were starting out. Now there’s so many options everywhere, it’s more diluted in a way, too.

Yeah. We’ll just always do our thing. We’ll always tour. I remember when we had three gold consecutive albums, and then we didn’t. We were playing smaller shows, but it still meant the world to us. Things always go in circles and come around. Now our shows are bigger than they’ve been in a long time.

Big or small, if you’re a New Found Glory fan, you’re going to get the same amount of passion one way or the other. I think that’s why we’ve lasted this long and why we don’t break up. We’ve given up our self-serving pride a long time ago with this band. We’re here to play regardless. We don’t get affected by what anyone says or what’s cool and hip at the time.

You see a lot in 20 years. You see a lot. There’s so many bands that have come that were big and we might have been told to open for, and now five years later they’ll open for us. It’s just the way it goes. We’ll always be the same and we’ll always be here because we have that loyal fanbase, which is all we ever set out to have.

New Found Glory and Yellowcard also got me thinking about that five-year or so period where there were so many cool bands coming out of Florida. There were you two, Anberlin, Copeland, Underoath, Against Me!, A Day to Remember, Further Seems Forever, Dashboard Confessional. What do you remember about that time? What made Florida a hotbed where all these bands were coming up at the same time?

A lot of bands you were mentioning were later than we were. When we were coming up, there was New Found, Dashboard, Further Seems Forever, Less Than Jake, Hot Water Music, Yellowcard, Poison the Well. The other stuff was a little later. What I always loved about Florida is when you think about the bands from Florida, everyone sounds different from each other.

At the time if you weren’t from New York or L.A., and maybe a little bit in Chicago, you didn’t really have a chance. The Northeast and California is where every band came from. It’s where all the record labels were. Because those scenes were so big, there was a lot of the same things going on. Where when it came to Florida, none of us thought we would ever get anywhere.

There was nothing to do, so you would write songs not based on what was going on but based on who you were. There wasn’t a big scene in Florida, so if you were a punk band, you were playing with a hardcore band. If you were an acoustic guy, you were playing with a ska band. It didn’t matter. There was this weird mesh of things stylistically. Even the hardcore back then was really melodic and weird.

I think the fact that Florida is so secluded from everywhere, especially South Florida. It took 12 hours just to drive out. It let people be creative because you thought you never had a chance. You were just writing music for your friends. You were writing songs because you wanted to play that weekend at a club in your hometown.

You weren’t distracted by the business side of things, because there was none. Whereas maybe if you were a band in the Northeast or California, you were focused on writing and getting signed. But in Florida, it didn’t really matter.

With this being your ninth album and reaching year 20, is there a different feeling now, or does it more or less feel the same and how it always has been?

No, it’s a different feeling. When you’re younger and you’re growing, you feel like you have all this stuff to prove to people. You think there’s this thing you need to reach or this finish line. You’re constantly worried about what’s next.

Now, 20 years later, there is no stress. We’re not worried. We’ve done nine albums. We’re not worried if fans are going to like our band or not.

Or if the album sells.

Yeah, or if the album sells. It would be great if the album sells. It would be great if it’s the biggest record and sells a million records. That would be awesome, but we’re not living for that. We’re able to get onstage and play our songs and focus on what matters, and not about the illusion side of the music business.

We’re able to live in the present and enjoy every show and be thankful. Does that make sense? That’s the difference between then and now.

’Makes Me Sick’ is out now on Hopeless Records. Find Chad Gilbert on Twitter and New Found Glory on Facebook, Twitter and Spotify.

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