#the speaker is the woman from the photo btw

[immortal-archives]

Aphtober Day 7: In another life

“Vylad was the best leader of the three. It’s a shame— in a better world, he would have been the one who became Lord of O’khasis, and all three brothers would have remained friends. But once it looked like he was amassing enough power to become heir… Garte had to deal with him”

Lord Vylad and his loving brothers, Garroth and Zane.

[heyidkyay]

Who can say no to bridezilla? |

Part one

I had to write another after seeing the love the last one got, thank you btw! I've actually missed writing a fair bit so I'm glad you enjoyed it.

> With this one, I started and just couldn't stop, so I might make it into a couple of parts? Maybe? Idk, let me know if that's something anyone would want:)

Summary: With no date to your sister's wedding, what are you to do? No worries though, she's already got it covered, well, sort of...

Masterlist

--

"It's just annoying. I mean- don't get me wrong, I'm proper chuffed you're finally tying the knot and all, but it's just a shitty situation.” I huffed defeatedly as I leant up against the cabinet, watching as a grey sky crept by my kitchen window. 

“I know,” I heard my sister sigh, her voice soft even through the phone’s tinny speaker. “And I’m sorry, but you know what mum’s like, y/n/n. She’ll be devastated when she finds out you’re coming alone! That, and the fact that if you don’t end up bringing a plus one, all of my wedding photos will turn out uneven… And I really, really need this day to be perfect! I want you to think its perfect! To enjoy it! Not just be sat there on the sidelines, watching.”

I closed my eyes for a long moment as I ran a hand through my hair. It was in dire need of a good wash, but between my job and the stress of having recently moved, I hadn’t found the time to even sit down. Still, I could understand where my sister was coming from, and I really wanted her to have the picture perfect day she’d always dreamt of too. But, we both knew that she was laying it on thick now, and with me being the eldest, we both also knew I’d do just about anything to make her happy. This though, was a big ask.

“Listen, yes things ended badly between Alex and I, but now that it’s all finally over, I just don’t think I have it in me to try and force myself to find someone else to replace him. Not yet, anyway.”

Alex, being my most recent ex. We’d parted ways about three months ago now- though ‘parted’ definitely wasn’t the term I preferred to use. But how else was I supposed to describe him cheating and me having to walk in on it happening? With my best mate of all people, too. 

Yeah, that hadn’t been the easiest of transitions, especially since I’d also been flat-sharing with the pair of them.

But my sister knew all of this already.

“Mum will just have to worry about me being lonely a little longer, y/s/n, and I'll just have to prepare myself to deal with her constant fussing over me for the entire evening.” I attempted to cajole, not wanting to outright deny her. “As well as the rest of my life, I suppose.” I added unhelpfully under my breath.

It wasn’t that I didn’t love my mum, God, she was just about the only person who truly understood me. That, and she’d done absolutely everything within her power to make sure that her kids had gotten everything she'd never had. She was an utter saint. But saying that, she could also tend to be a tad bit… overbearing. 

“Ah come on, she won’t be that bad!” My sister fired back before she then paused, as though she’d only just understood the words she’d spoken. I couldn’t not let out an airy chuckle when she sighed, “Alright, fair enough, she will be. But! If you just ask someone along, you won’t have to spend my entire wedding day avoiding her!”

I groaned, rubbing at my face.

“It’s been months since I ended things with Al- mum knows that, babe. I’ve had her on the phone almost every day since, hassling and FaceTiming me constantly to make sure I’m still alive. She even sends down little care packages in the post! Care. Packages. Y/s/n.”

I actually looked over towards the most recent arrival which had awoken me early the previous morning. It was still where I’d left it, chucked beside the foot of the sofa, barely opened. 

Again, I adored the woman, but she tended to be a fair bit dramatic. I could really see where my sister got it all from.

“Besides, how am I supposed to convince her I'm perfectly fine with someone I've only just met hanging off my arm?” I added, puttering on over to the sink to fill the kettle. I think I could feel another migraine coming on.

“I get it, y/n, I do. And I’m also sorry for suggesting it, but if I knew of an easier solution that would magically solve all our problems, then I would. But I don’t, and even though I want the biggest day of my life to go perfectly, I also want you happy.”

I could hear the sincerity in her voice and as I picked up my mug and tossed a teabag inside, I could also picture her sat at the dinning table back home, foot anxiously tapping away in an attempt to conjure up a better idea. She was a nitpicker, right down to the very bone, and I could only guess the amount of stress she was putting herself under in order to make sure that her wedding went off without a hitch for all those involved. 

After a few moments of shared silence, she spoke again, “To be honest, I can’t believe you stuck around as long as you did.”

My mind wandered back to all the time I’d wasted on Alex. We’d met growing up, he’d been our next door neighbour. We went through all of primary school despising one another, only to end up in the same friendship group come secondary. It didn’t take much more than that for us to suddenly become joined at the hip. He’d been my best mate, and when we finally got together, I’d pictured the rest of our lives spent with one another. 

He’d honestly really fucked me over in the end. I hadn’t just lost my boyfriend that day, but both of my closest friends, as well as a few others who’d taken his side in the awkward aftermath that came when most relationships ended. But that being said, I felt more at peace now than I had in a long while. With every relationship came troubles, and by the end of ours, I guessed we had more than most. That wasn’t me making excuses for him though- nah, he was still a massive prick.

“Yeah, me either.” I admitted, a breathy chuckle slipping from my lips as I softly shook away the rest of my thoughts. 

“I am proud of you though, for moving on as well as you have. Always knew he was an arse.” Came my sister’s voice and I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me.

I grinned, so very thankful for her.

“God, was he!” I agreed instantly, listening to her giggle as I laughed, “A right tit.”

“Oh!”

I blinked at the sudden exclamation heard from down the phone and furrowed my brow slightly as the last of my laughter tittered out, “You alright there?”

“Uh, yes! I’ve just had the most perfect idea!” My sister declared, not even giving me the chance to question her before she was off on a tangent. “Forget about having to chat anyone up, or having some godawful colleague of yours to pose as a fake date- I’ve already got the perfect person for you!”

I felt my mouth part slightly in confusion and was just about to speak up when she beat me to the punch, seemingly excited about whatever plan she’d formulated in her head.

“Right, okay, just listen. I know this guy, a friend of Adam’s, yeah? He’s been off of relationships for a little while now, not really looking for anything at the moment ‘cause he’s been away for a bit. Busy, and what not. But y/n, he’s a right charmer, proper looker, too! He also happens to owe Ad a big favour!”

I closed my eyes for a moment, frowning. “What are you getting at here, y/s/n?”

The huff that sounded then, all but echoed in my ear and I couldn’t not roll my eyes at her dramatics.

“He can be your date, y/n! I know he’d be well up for helping us out if I give him free-rein to do what he pleases, always up for a laugh, and he'll be able to keep mum off your back about finding someone new. Plus, I can guarantee you a good time because I just know that the two of you will instantly hit it off.”

“What?” I squawk, far beyond perplexed. “You can’t just ask some randomer to pretend to be my date to your wedding, y/s/n! Are you actually insane?”

“He’s not some randomer though! I know him through Adam, and Adam’s known him since school!” My sister pestered, and I could practically feel her excitement bubbling up from down the phone. “He’s well lovely, nothing like He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named— Plus! When we were first introduced, I’d had the thought of setting him up with you, but well, you know, you were still with What’s-his-face and you seemed happy enough.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, to be frank. And went to say as much, when she cut me off again.

“Come on, y/n/n! It’ll be so great! And besides, who would it hurt? You’re both single, not looking for any sort of commitment, and both without dates to my wedding. Mum’ll be over the moon about it, too, once I let her know! And this way, I won’t have to fork out God knows how much on another two plus ones.”

“I’m really not sure about- hang on, he’s already going?” I questioned, confusedly. 

“He’s Adam’s best mate, of course he’s coming!”

“I thought Ad’s best mate was George?”

Her eye roll was implied when she retorted. “You can have more than one best mate, y/n. Look, you worry too much. I’ll have Ad phone him now and ask, yeah? If he agrees, I’ll get him to message you.” I was still beyond fucking baffled and could hear the obvious delight which lined my sister’s tone. “That settles it, I’ll do it right now. So talk to you later, yeah? God, I'm so excited! Love you lots!”

Then she was gone.

I let the phone fall away from my ear and stared down at the blank screen with vacant eyes.

What the fuck.

“What the actual fuck?” I found myself asking my empty flat aloud. I rubbed at my forehead tiredly before I ultimately tossed the device onto the pile of cushions perched on the nearest armchair, leaving it there to hopefully die, or something. 

Didn’t quite turn out that way though. I ended up fishing it out about an hour later when I’d started running a bath, needing it for it’s musical capabilities.

It was then, after the tub had filled and I’d slipped into its mountain of bubbles, that a notification disturbed the perfect playlist I’d curated. 

I grumbled as I pulled myself up and out of the water.

It was a text from an unknown number, I frowned as I unlocked the device.

“Oh, for fucks sake!”

I hadn’t actually believed that she would do it. Ask someone to be her sister’s fake date to her own wedding! But I really, really, really should’ve known better. 

And so I tossed the phone back on the side, submerging my body in its entirety back under the soapy water in hopes that I might just drown. She was so dead.

—

Maybe I’d been a tad bit hasty in scheduling the perfectly timed event of my sister’s impending death. 

Listen, I could admit when I was being a total drama queen, but my sister had well and truly pushed her luck this time around, and so I’d been quick in my judgement of the situation. Perhaps a little too quick.

Several weeks had passed since that day and in the time leading up to my sister’s wedding, I had spent a good portion of it texting Matty back and forth. 

That was his name, by the way- the poor bloke my sister had roped into accompanying me on her big day. And if I was being honest, I was rather grateful for the fact that she’d chosen to stick her big nose in where it wasn’t wanted and set the whole thing up. Though, I might have been better inclined to admit so if she’d been a whole lot more normal and just introduced the two of us in a much more conventional way.

When Matty had texted me that first night- rather delighted by the fact that he’d been gifted the privilege of a front row ticket to the shit-show I was still calling my life- I’d been dreading the entire thing. 

He had taken the utter piss out of me in all truth, and had then proceeded to rinse the shit out of the entire situation for all it was worth. But, strangely enough, he’d done so in the very best way. 

I can honestly admit that I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as hard as I have than when I’m messaging Matty. He was everything my sister had described and more.

He knew how to have a good laugh, when to flirt or to tease, and he was pretty open about the things that mattered most to him once you’d bartered your way past that overzealous ego of his. He also appeared to love music almost as much as me, which was honestly saying something. And he spoke highly of his family and friends, in length too when they had come up here and there in conversation.

I really hadn’t expected to have grown so close to him in the time we’d spent texting back and forth, but there was just something about him, in his nature maybe, that just made things feel so easy.

It was so, so strange, because I hadn’t even seen a picture of the bloke, and I’d only ever heard a few short snippets of his voice through the odd voicenote we'd shared here and there, but I’d openly call him a close friend to any one who now asked. It was as though we’d known each other for years. 

And I really wasn’t one to let many people in, I liked the small family I had created for myself, one full of friends I’d known for eons, and relatives that meant the world to me. So to have Matty slip by all of my defences so effortlessly, was something I thought a lot about.

“Oi,” Jamie suddenly prompted with a bright grin, a jabbing finger to my side untangled me from my thoughts. "You ready for the big day?

I’d been stood a little way a way from the chapel’s entrance, waiting for everyone else to arrive, and was seemingly a little lost in my own head. Apprehensive, maybe. Jamie had startled me slightly as I’d not even heard his approach, but I allowed myself to relax somewhat as I gave him the once over.

“Just about.” I replied with a teasing smile, “Clean up nice, Jim. Loving the suit.”

Jamie was my cousin, but we were so close in age I practically saw him as another brother. We’d grown up together, which also meant that he’d been close with Alex too.

Though, he’d actually been one of the few people who had taken my side after everything that happened, even with the two boys having been rather close since they were kids. I was glad to still have him, so glad, even if it did mean that I still felt a little guilty about the whole thing from time to time.

“Don’t look too surprised.” Jamie laughed at my light jab as he pulled me in for a short hug. “Though, you are looking good too, I suppose.”

I swatted at his shoulder when we parted. “Don’t be a twat, you know I’m the best dressed here.”

“Oh yeah…” He dragged out sarcastically, a small smirk playing on his lips. “Definitely ready to upstage the bride.”

I just rolled my eyes as I laughed. “Where is bridezilla anyway?”

“Just saw her with your mum, actually. They were fussing about something or other, but I reckon they ended up sorting it out.” Jamie replied with a small shrug as he pulled on his lapels.

I let my eyes roam around the surrounding area again for a brief moment as he did, skirting over the mass of maple trees, which were now in full bloom, and the familiar faces that crowded the gravel drive. 

“Exactly why I can never see myself going through with any of this.” I commented offhandedly, too preoccupied with the anxiety of finally meeting my so called date.

My gaze found Jamie’s again when he wearily voiced, “What- even when you were with…?” His voice held a hint of genuine curiosity.

I shrugged, in truth, I’d never really given it much thought, my wedding day. Even after having been with Alex all that time. I could just never see it happening for myself.

“Not really.” I said, “How about you though? Can you picture yourself all kitted out and waiting at the end of that aisle?”

Jamie laughed, his eyes squinted. “Not too sure about that. I mean I like the sound of it, spending forever with someone and all, but I dunno who’d be brave enough to have me.”

I snorted as I clapped my cousin’s shoulder in condolence. “They’d have to be a tad bit mental, Jim. But they’d also be fucking lucky too. You’re a gooden.”

“Love you.” Jamie smiled as he enveloped me in another hug. He was a lot taller than me now so he all but squished me into his side, but I couldn’t bring myself to mind even as I jokingly shoved him away.

“Stop, you’ll ruin my hair and makeup.” I scolded lightly, wrinkling my nose.

Jamie just chuckled, “Since when have you cared about any of that crap?”

“Never.” I grinned back at him in retort, “Just didn’t want you sliming all over me, snail-face.”

“You’re a right fucking weirdo, you know that?”

“I do, Jim, I do.”

I fixed the side of my dress whilst my cousin just rolled his eyes, seemingly content with waiting beside me now.

When I’d made sure that I was still somewhat presentable, mostly for both my mother and sister’s sake, I allowed myself to reevaluate the rest of the oncoming arrivers. Still no sign of that date of mine.

I sighed quietly, checking the time on my phone again to make sure I hadn’t missed a text.

“You all good there?” Jamie questioned quietly after a few minutes, I looked up to find him staring down at me with a concerned frown. 

I hummed, “Fine, why?”

“Just seem a bit nervous, not like you that.”

I huffed a light laugh before shooting my cousin a somewhat strained smile. “Yeah, maybe a bit. It’s just I’m waiting for my date to arrive and-”

As I uttered that sentence Jamie’s eyes all but boggled out of his head, “You never said nowt about a date!”

I gave him a sheepish grin, I hadn’t really mentioned Matty to anyone. Only having allowed my sister to pass on the message that I wasn’t turning up completely alone to my mum. I’d not given much thought to anyone else’s reaction.

“Um, yeah.” I replied, feeling a little uncomfortable upon having to mentally decide whether I should let Jamie in on the truth or not. The kid had always been a massive blabbermouth though, he just couldn’t seem to help it, but I knew he’d understand wholeheartedly. “It's new, but it’s going good…”

Jamie’s smile was wide enough that I could practically see either side of his molars, a megawatt sort of thing.

Immediately I felt my stomach churn. There was that guilt again.

“I’m well chuffed for you, y/n/n! Can’t wait to meet the lucky fella- when’s he set to get here? Didn’t you come together? Where’d you even meet him, anyhow? Does y/s/n know you’re bringing him along?”

Fucking hell, what was with the twenty-one questions?

I swallowed thickly. I hadn’t realise how hard this was all going to be. Was the rest of the day going to be like this? All consuming guilt?

“Er, should be here soon enough, I think.” I found myself saying, playing with one of the rings on my left hand. “Something came up last minute- his mum needed him. Urgent, you know how it is… and he’s a right mummy’s boy that one! So I suggested he just meet me here, and well, he was grateful. Felt really bad though. Promised he wouldn’t be late and all that.”

Jamie seemed to be eating it up and just kept nodding along, making me feel as though I had to continue on.

“We actually met through y/s/n, weirdly enough. She introduced us when I’d popped round to surprise her a while back. He’s close with Adam, best mates and that. We just hit it off I guess.”

I silently cursed myself and my ability to not know when to stop. fucking. rambling. But I was too nervous to think up a believable enough lie and so I’d decided to just tangent off from the truth. It was close enough, I figured.

“Awh, I’m so happy for you, cuz. Congrats!” Jamie said, obviously thrilled for me, as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and squeezed. “Know why you’re so wound up now, your mum will be on your case all night!”

We shared a laugh. Because wasn’t that the fucking truth.

I tried my hardest to hide my slight grimace though as I allowed my cousin to congratulate me. During a few shared conversations with Matty, we had thought up a convincing enough plan, but now that it was time to put it all into action I wasn’t sure we’d actually be able to pull it off. Especially with the reminder that we’d be lying to my mum of all people.

“Oh shit, there’s Laura! Best head on over.” Jamie suddenly announced, his eyes focused on a brunette in the distance, far enough that I had to squint to even make out who he was referring to. 

But before I could comment or question Jamie’s twenty/twenty vision, my cousin was already bouncing on the balls of his feet, all but ready to run off.

He turned to me before he did though, squeezing my shoulder slightly. “Make sure you come find me with this date of yours, yeah? Gotta make sure he meets the mark.” I smiled, a little touched. “But I truly am buzzing for you, y/n. After everything, you deserve someone good.”

My chest ached and as my cousin gave me one final grin I couldn’t help but feel a little like the grinch, my heart had to have shrunk to half its size at the very thought of having just lied to Jamie. 

I couldn’t linger too long on the regret I felt though as my phone buzzed in my hand. Immediately I peered down at it, chewing on my lower lip. 

As the screen lit up, I frowned. What the fuck had I gotten myself into?

Matty had just messaged, but before I could even think up a reply I heard a few of the other guests around me start to whisper. I glanced up and over to where I then heard a muffled squeal. I pulled a face as I watched one of my younger cousins, Arielle who’d just turned fifteen, jump behind Jordan, her older brother. 

I shook my head and pivoted slightly, eyes scanning over the rest of the guests who had yet to make their way into the chapel. A few of the women were openly staring down the gravel drive, gossiping amongst themselves, and I couldn’t not follow their gaze.

I was really confused, everyone’s attention seemed to be drawn towards the figure who was wandering closer. He was decent looking, I supposed, clad in a fitted tuxedo he'd paired with a black bowtie and an uncaring expression, but he was no James Dean. So I couldn’t quite get my head round why they were all so bothered.

As he grew nearer, I took in what I could. The dark narrowed eyes hidden beneath a pair of furrowed brows, the cropped cut of the hair he’d greased back, the handful of silver rings which cluttered his fingers. What caused me to pause though was the cigarette, which hung effortlessly from his bottom lip. Because, shit. 

Instantly my focus moved back down to where my phone screen was now dimming and I quickly tapped at the home screen to view the last message I’d been sent. 

Keep an eye out for the oncoming smoker, alright x

My heartbeat quickened, and my gaze flitted back and forth between the approaching figure and the text. Surely it couldn’t have been anyone else.

“Sweetheart?” A voice called out with a sure northern twang, erupting goosebumps up both of my arms. I glanced up.

Sure enough it was him, he’d been the only one to ever call me that.

My throat grew dry, “Fuck me.”

“Little early for that, I reckon. Heard about there being an open bar though, buy me a drink and we can talk again later, yeah?” The man ribbed, smirking as he plucked the fag from his lip. He drew closer and I was taken back a bit from how confident he appeared, almost identical to the way he seemed over the phone. But now in tenfold.

"God, sorry.” I laughed, covering my face with the back of my hand as I shook my head to try and cover my reddening cheeks. “Didn’t expect, well- this.” I added, only furthering my embarrassment by vaguely gesturing towards him.

Matty’s grin dimmed almost immediately then, and I frowned.

“Hang on, you are Matty, right? The same Matty I’ve been messaging for weeks. The guy who texts me at all hours of the night going on about how ripe a banana has to be before you can eat it… and who sends me little voice memos of theme tunes he’s rewritten so that they sound aesthetically more pleasing?”

The man looked confused for a moment, and his brown eyes surveyed me before he ultimately chuckled. I blinked at the sudden change in behaviour.

“Guess you could put it like that.” Matty laughed once more, this time a little more airily. And God, did I want to listen to it on repeat. I’d thought about it once or twice, what it would be like to hear him laugh, to listen to him talk. “Hope you weren’t half-expecting some model to come waltzing in here. I mean, I’m fit but I can only do so much, babe.”

It was said jokingly and though Matty was probably one of the most vainest people I’d had the pleasure of meeting, I also knew that there was some genuine apprehension in his eyes. Almost like he’d been both dreading and craving this moment as much as I had. 

“Fuck off! Model.” I scoffed, and laughed alongside him as I shook my head. But then I peered around at the few who were still staring and was now suddenly hyperaware of them all. I didn’t really think too much about it as I stepped in closer to shield him somewhat. “Christ, Matty. Feels like you’ve just walked off an album cover or something, with the way you’ve got everyone leering at you.”

And wow. I watched in slight disbelief as Matty scratched at the back his neck with a small, almost bashful smile. I took note of the small hoop he had cuffed around his lobe.

“Piss off.” The man chuckled, finding his feet again as he realised the proximity we now held. “Reckon they’re all looking at you though.” He commented, looking me over with a sly smile. “Hann painted a good picture, but you’ve exceeded all expectations, darling.” 

I couldn’t help but smirk, regaining my usual confidence. “Spent a lot of time thinking about me, have you Healy?”

Matty’s tongue darted out to wet his lower lip, his unlit cigarette dangling between his fingers in the small space that separated our bodies.

“You’d know all about that, babe. Your first words, if I do recall, were 'fuck me'. And though I’d be happy to comply with your reasonable request, I don’t think Adam, or your sister, would very much approve of me taking you in front of all these lovely people.”

I hummed mischievously, eyeing him. Yeah, this was my Matty alright.

“Can’t say I’ll come to regret those words.” Then, before Matty could even think up another retort, I wound my arm around his and started leading us in towards the chapel. “Best play the part, yeah?”

And I had to dampen my grin when I heard the man’s joyous laughter sound beside me. Ignoring all of the other onlookers to sneak a peak over at him, I found myself loving the squinted grin he made as he tucked his cigarette behind his ear.

This night would definitely be memorable.

Part two >

[agentstarkid]

Now idk when you’re gonna update next but if I don’t get an adorable Halloween couples costume with Ruben and girly that when Daniel sees it he almost loses it cause any holidays when they were together was COVID/lockdown so even though they were together they couldn’t actually do fun couples celebrations…we might have to fight 🤷‍♀️

nonnie, I think we are definitely gon' fight, my love WDYM they couldn’t actually do fun couples celebrations?!

They went to a Halloween get together at Dax and Kristen's in 2021 (Kalopsia), while they didn't do cute couple costumes and it wasn't a big party, they did had costumes on (she was a mime and Dan was...a scarecrow..? a farmer..? idk) and I did a little edit and everything so we are beefin' now, babes 😠😤 JUST KIDDING, JUST KIDDING!! NAAAAH SQUARE UP... lol JK JK... unless... 👀👀👀

I reaaaaally wanted to have Ruben and Girlie attending a Halloween party during the last chapter bc I know Man City had one in 2022 but these were all the photos I could find:

and I wanted Girlie to go as Santanico Pandemonium from From Dusk Till Dawn (salma hayek is the queen mother btw)

LOOK!!! AT!!! THIS!!! WOMAN!!!!!

SO LET ME GIVE YOU A LITTLE HEADCANON!!!!

caution: things might get you a little 🔥🔥 bc it certainly got me like that 🥵

Girlie did go to the party with Rúben.

It was their first official outting as a couple.

He went as Michael Myers and she went as Santanico Pandemonium.

He was the one who took those first two pics of her btw and you better believe my man couldn't keep his hands to himself the whole night 🤪

He tried to play it cool, mingling with his teammates, but he kept sneaking glances at her while she was talking with the other wags and every time she passed by, he found an excuse to brush his hand against her waist, pull her closer, or simply rest his palm on her lower back.

it was a no phones 📵 party so that's why there are not many pictures of it

at one point of the night, my girl definitely went up to the dj and told him to put Retrotón (reggaeton oldies that are 🔥🔥) and got the real party started

I definitely think Toda (Remix) by Alex Rose started pumping through the speakers (although this song is not, by any means, retrotón btw) and to me, that song was made to dance suuuuper close 👀

She turned around, her back pressing against his chest, as the beat vibrated through them. With every sway of her hips, she moved sensually against him, her body in perfect rhythm with the music ((obvs, she is latina c'monnnn)). She let her hands glide up her own waist, slowly, teasingly, while her hips rocked against him. And my man Rúben reeeeeally tried to keep his cool, he really did bless him, but the heat between them was impossible to ignore.

she arched her back slightly, leaning into him, grinding against him as the song’s slow, sultry tempo made the entire room disappear. She looked over her shoulder, catching his smoldering gaze—his eyes dark, filled with desire and his ragged breath on her ear 🥵🥵

My man Rubs, clearly affected, wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer, his fingers tightening with every movement she made. "You're going to kill me, anjo," he murmured, his breath hot against her ear. She just smiled, knowing exactly the effect she was having on him. "That's the idea," she whispered back, not slowing down for a second.

Rúben, normally composed and controlled, was undone, completely captivated by her every move. His hands gripped her hips tighter, the need to close the distance between them almost overwhelming, but she just continued to tease, drawing out the moment and leaving him completely hot and bothered.

sooooo that's where my man said fuck this and dragged her to some abandoned room in that place or the bathroom ((it's up to you)) and they had their own party iykyk 😏

She might have posted some photos/videos of the night to her CF ((she posted those photos of her and ooooof)) and OF COURSE Danielito—who's still on that list—saw them all bc he defff has her notifications still on ((as much as he claims that he just keeps forgetting to turn it off, we all know that man is LYING))

His jaw dropped, his heartbeat skyrocketed, something else went UP and hard and then he saw green 🤷🏽‍♀️

fuck i need a cold shower now

ANYWAYS, the next halloween party is not coming until the chapter after this one I'm working on bc tumblr only allows me to use 30 pics per post 😩 and about this next one, I'm trying to finish it by the end of the month so I have 2 weeks to get my shit together and finish it, but I WILL FINISH IT because I've been gone for too long 😞

i hope you liked that lil' thing i pulled from my horny lil brain, nonnie!! we'll see what else comes out next lol I might need to make a blurb or something of Girlie and Rúben together hmmm 🤔 we'll see, we'll see...

thank you for reaching out, babes! hope you have a great day!!! ily chaucitoooo 🖤

[offtopicoverload]

For the Record

Got distracted and wrote an Elisa one-shot from the perspective of her instagram stories. Not sure if I’ll put it on ao3, but I’ll edit and add to it and see.

Fair warning, I’ve never done an Elisa route, just seen her described as kinda similar to Bobby so I made her goofy.

“So…” Elisa starts, eyes trained on her camera. “I’m sure you guys are wondering about the show…” she drawls some more. “And…” she slowly smiles, “Look!” she screams cheerily, flipping the camera and zooming in and out repeatedly on a screen that’s playing the Love Island final.

She’s standing with another girl on the stage outside the Villa, hand clasped in the woman next to her’s, a soft smile on the other girl’s lips and eyes wide in disbelief as bright lights reflect in her eyes. Elisa’s beaming to the crowd, jittery and excited from the attention.

“Love Island 2019’s winners… Elisa and Willow!” echoes through the speakers. Elisa cheers, still wearing the dress from the final, and a small laugh sounds from nearby.

The caption reads, ‘WE WON!!!!!!!!’

The next video carries on from where the last left off, Elisa cheering and whooping, jumping up and down in her heels, her hair slightly messy as she breaks into laughter.

“Thank you guys so much!” she manages through her laboured breaths. “We know you guys voted and we’re so grateful for all of you Elisa-bees!”

Another small laugh and the video cuts off, somewhat abruptly.

‘🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝’

A new video features the girl from the finale, her chin on Elisa’s shoulder from an unnatural height difference as she intently watches the influencer speak to her audience, “Seriously, thank you guys, it means so much. Right, babes?”

She turns to the woman on her shoulder, who in turn tears her gaze from Elisa’s face to the camera, “Yeah, it’s insane,” she nods.

Elisa smiles at her for a long second, the two making eye contact before she faces her camera again, “And just for the record, don’t worry, Willow’s sticking around,” she grins, quickly pecking Willow on the cheek.

‘Shes @willowsanimalfriends btw (its just animals from the shelter its so precious)’

---

A few screenshots of articles fill Elisa’s feed, each one titled with her and Willow’s names about their victory and a promise of a prediction of Love Island’s future, what with two girls winning and all.

‘🌈 We’re making history 🐝s! 🌈’

---

Elisa starts the video already running, sprinting through the airport she’s found herself in and trailing her suitcase behind her, “I gotta find Willow!” she announces to the camera, still running and panting as her hair blows behind her.

She rounds a corner and almost knocks into a random man and almost falls to the ground to avoid hitting him. She stumbles for a moment before regaining her footing, sprinting off again a second later.

She continues into another video, eyes scanning wildly before yelling “Will!” excitedly. She seems to run even faster until she stops abruptly, dropping her bag and her phone simultaneously and tackling Willow into a hug.

From the phone’s position on the floor you can just make out Elisa wrapping her legs around Willow’s torso, who’s laughing into her hair amusedly. Elisa eventually untangles herself from Willow and drops to the floor, hovering over her phone and smiling down at it.

‘😁☺️’

---

Elisa’s fingers brush along Willow’s cheek as she dozes, a grin splitting Elisa’s lips in the corner of the camera’s peripherals. Willow murmurs sleepily, turning to press her face further into Elisa’s shoulder. Elisa drops a tender kiss to her head, her fingers gently scratching at Willow’s scalp.

‘Sorry I forgot to post. Got a little distracted by this cutie @willowsanimalfriends’

---

Willow’s head is turned upwards as she distractedly watches the clouds in the sky overhead. Elisa’s laying on a blanket next to her, propped up on an elbow and watching Willow’s eyes as they sparkle in the sunlight.

The sounds of the park surround them, bird calls and children’s laughter echoing across the open field. Elisa adds to the noise, humming along to a song stuck in her head, loud enough for Willow to be pulled from her reverie.

She glances over, finding the camera held in Elisa’s hand aimed at her features. She scowls at the camera and Elisa, who flips it around to herself, dropping back to the blanket and continuing to hum with an amused grin.

‘Happy saturday!!! @willowsanimalfriends ;)’

---

The photo is of a surprised Willow, fork held away from her mouth as she stares at the camera with wide eyes.

‘I learned how to make vegan paella!!!!!’

---

Willow’s watching telly when Elisa sneaks up on her, camera poised to capture any action as she slowly stalks forward. She pounces within a few steps of the sofa, vaulting over it and landing on Willow’s outstretched legs with a smirk.

Willow recoils as much as she can with Elisa weighing down her legs, pulling her blanket over her head instinctually. “Jesus, Lies!” she calls out, carefully lowering the blanket to watch Elisa.

“Hi,” Elisa drawls, her smirk still quirked on her lips.

Willow swats at her shoulder, Elisa exaggeratedly falling back to the other side of the sofa. Willow rolls her eyes, turning back to the telly as Elisa pouts at her, flipping the camera to capture her own expression.

‘😭’

The next video picks back up a few moments later, Elisa grinning at the camera with Willow’s arm draped across her chest. The camera pans up to the woman in question, the telly’s reflection in her eyes with Elisa laying on top of her.

‘🖤’

One last picture bookends the story, Elisa smiling from ear to ear down at her camera, as Willow kisses her head, eyes still trained on her show.

‘🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤’

---

Willow’s driving with the windows down as she sings along to the radio, belting some Top 40s hit and entirely unaware of Elisa recording her in the passenger seat. Elisa soon joins in, throwing her hand out the window and letting the wind blow past it.

‘🎶🎵🎶’

---

A photo of Willow sitting on the floor with her back against a wire gate, cradling a cat with a gentle smile on her lips as the cat stretches in her arms.

‘🖤🐱 @willowsanimalfriends’

---

Elisa pulls out her camera to update for her ‘Elisa-bees’ that are eager to track her every move. Willow’s hand is in her own as they stroll through their local park on an early Sunday morning. Their interlocked fingers are swinging idly between them as they go.

Elisa presses record, throwing on her cameras-are-present smile and shouting greetings to her viewers. Willow stops in her tracks, turning to hide her face behind Elisa’s shoulder with a whine of ‘Lies.’

Elisa stops the recording immediately, pocketing her phone and turning to her girlfriend, “What? What’s wrong?”

“Can we not film today?” Willow asks quietly. “I look awful.”

Elisa freezes entirely before whirling on her girlfriend and cupping her jaw, forcing Willow’s eyes on her. “No. No, you do not. You are gorgeous and amazing and I want to make everyone jealous that you chose me,” Elisa says, pulling her phone from her pocket and hitting record, even if she has no real intention of posting it without Willow’s permission.

The faintest smile ghosts across Willow’s lips before her head crashes against Elisa’s chest, who responds by trapping her in her arms and pressing kisses to the crown of her head. “I love you,” comes out muffled against Elisa’s top.

Elisa’s beaming into her camera now, brighter than the sun, “I love you, too,” she answers without hesitation, even if it’s for the first time, feeling light as a feather.

Well, now she has to post this. If Willow lets her, of course.

‘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰, ❤️ her’

[useless-catalanfacts]

I was reading the news and i saw a headline that reads "Spain exhumes late dictator Francisco Franco to move his remains" it seems they are removing it from his big mausoleum to a family crypt and they even said a prayer before moving it. Like the prime minister said this was to make it seem like he wasn't being honored in a public place but like who handles the remains of a dictator with that much respect? The more I learn about spain the worse it sounds :/ at least politically

They did another state funeral for the fascist dictator. Carried him with official car and helicopter, surrounded by ministers of the Spanish government dressed in mourning, and the mass was officiated by a priest named Tejero who is, yep you guessed it, the son of the fascist army general who did the coup d’etat in 23F 1981.

And when the crowds of a demonstration with no official permission were doing the Nazi salute and shouting Francoist slogans, the police did nothing. Meanwhile, in Catalonia, the police attack you for being in an accepted peaceful protest asking for human rights.

And let’s not forget the woman in the center of the photo, dressed in mourning for Franco. She’s Dolores Delgado, the Spanish Minister of Justice. She attended Franco’s exhumation and state funeral, and didn’t seem to have any problem with the crowds shouting fascist slogans.

Well, she’s the same person who literally stood up and left in the middle of a homage to the victims at the Mauthausen-Gusen extermination camp because a speaker mentioned that Raül Romeva (a Catalan political prisoner) had been in jail for 440 days.

It was about fucking time that they moved Franco out of his mausoleum (built through slave labour of antifascist prisoners, btw), but this alone does nothing. El Valle de los Caídos, where he was buried, is still full of other bodies that fascists revere, for example José Antonio Primo de Rivera is still there, as well as 40,000 more corpses (some of them of antifascists whose families have been trying to bring home for years without success! because the fascists didn’t have enough bodies to fill the huge mausoleum they built, so they kidnapped corpses from other cementeries). The Valle de los Caídos will not stop being a pilgrimage center just because Franco isn’t there anymore. But now they will have another, stronger, pilgrimage center in the Mingorrubio cementery (in Madrid).

The Mingorrubio cementery, where Franco’s corpse has been moved to, is also full of the tombs of the high mandataries of Franco’s dictatorship like Arias Navarro and Carrero Blanco among many others, as well as the pantheon of the Franco family (which was built with public money). There’s no way this won’t become another pilgrimage site for fascists.

The exhumation was a campaign act for PSOE, that’s all.

And Spain is a fascist state.

[piracytheorist]

My Notes on Rewatching “Call Girl”

I amuse myself by thinking that watching this film is an important rite of passage for anyone who’s an all-in Colin fan, as in, one who’ll watch anything and everything he’s in, no matter the content, theme or quality.

I actually used to think that this was a pretty bad movie... but, as you might have seen from my last few posts, I recently realized this isn’t the case. Sure, it is not your average short film, but breaking it down you realize it’s doing most things right from a filmmaking point. I mean, you don’t have to love it, but it does a great job overall.

And I mean, it’s got Colin in it. How bad can it be? ;)

Beware of spoilers, if you haven’t seen the film. And if you do wanna see it, here it is :D

~

I'm still surprised that... this is it. That's Colin freaking O'Donoghue right there. The pirate. The cowboy. The astronaut. The man the myth the legend.

Ah, early 00's.

Wait. Ok let's make a breakdown of the decoration here. There's: 1) a heart anatomy poster 2) a frame with an undiscernible picture 3) IS THAT AN ASTRONAUT FIGURE? dun_dun_dun.mp3 4) a small penguin (?) plushie with a nautical (?) hat on it 5) are those... mantis figurines stuck on the sides of the screen????

Oooooh boy you sure have some very specific decorations on your desk.

The music stops abruptly when Brendan's mother calls out to him to not close the door because she wants to see him studying. That's interesting. Also how old is Brennan supposed to be? Is he supposed to be in high school, or an adult in college? What was the age of consent in Ireland in 2003?

This vibe, though. White perfect shirt and dark vest...

The look of "I'm gonna look at hot girls with my bedroom's door open while my parents argue across the hall" ALSO YES THAT'S A MANTIS

This just makes me laugh so much. Can you imagine sweet innocent (mostly) virgin Brendan typing it and his heartbeat skyrocketing?

Seriously though, that "Welcome back Brendan" thing. With one small addition you add a whole point in his backstory about him trying to deal with his urges.

Jesus I have forgotten so much. As soon as Brendan hears his mother coming, he immediately clicks "Dump her" on the "Virtual Babe" and it just... explodes. 

With a full low-quality boom sound effect to boot. Like seriously if you were trying to hide why the f have your speakers on. You had one job, Brendan.

A rare glimpse into Brendan's room, and I'm trying to understand what the pattern on his sheets are. Maybe I'm just confused by the astronaut figurine, but it looks... vaguely... about space? Like, if you squint, the circular thing on the top left looks like Saturn's rings. No?

Also, Brendan's mom being obsessed with disinfection. That was 2003.

"I don't want filth getting into my house while I'm gone." And two hours later, her son has sex on her bed.

Oh wait, his father says "The only contact [Brendan] has with the outside world is through that bloody computer of his," in a... weird, tone? Like he's trying to placate the mother's fears of any rave party suddenly taking place in the house, but also with his tone (and maybe by using the word "bloody"? idk I'm no native speaker but it piques my interest) it doesn't seem like he's very... understanding and/or supportive of his probably very shy and/or socially awkward son.

Mom: That reminds me, block off the internet, will you? Dad: *scoffs* Why not lock him in a tower while you're at it?

He is sassy though!

Lookit him though! So sad he won't be able to create and look at Virtual BabesTM while his parents are gone.

The parent's accents strike me more towards a British one and I got confused for a bit, but then I remembered that we see Brendan use euros later, lol.

*hatching the plan to search in his father's briefcase for any cards for escort services*

This is where I started feeling that this movie is better than I’d remembered. Like, it does the job of delivering Brendan's guilt over "tresspassing" into his parents room and disobeying his mother, as well as his fear of being discovered, even though he watched his parents drive away, so he'd hear the car if they came back, in a pretty well-done and clear way.

I love how he immediately knows exactly where to look. His father's such an organized fella. Also those pills that he seems to not need immediately (thus leaving them behind for the weekend) are... something. They're put there for a reason and I wonder what that could have been.

There's not even a moment of hesitation, once he opens the briefcase. He doesn't put the card back in, he only looks briefly at his parents' photo but then he's like "Yeah. I'm doing it."

That smile as he sees the card though, lol. 

Casual reminder to have safe sex, lads.

And then the phone operator is like, full business mode. Brendan stutters for one (1) second and she's immediately like, "You want a girl?" She's like, I've had tons of people like you, lad, can't waste my time waiting until you find the courage to ask. You wanna hire or not?

OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED The operator asks for the address, Brendan gives it, then asks how much does it cost. Then the operator says "Same as usual." BRUH she knew the address from how often his father used the service!

And then poor Brendan checks his savings and his "Uh..." says it all about how he wishes he could hire someone for longer than an hour. Bro, calm down. It's your first time.

And then he's like, waiting all anxiously by the door. I've never hired an escort service but I feel ya dude.

And of course Barbara the nosy neighbor, here to bring us to the edge of our seats, lol.

Look at how organized their fridge is. Why is that chick suddenly so eager to cook something for him? There looks to be so much food already prepared in there.

And dude. This movie has set-ups. Barbara tries to open a cupboard to like pick up ingredients to cook something, and Brendan, with a sudden "No!" rushes in and closes it. It only makes sense later, when we see that that's where he hid the money for the call girl.

Yikes she booped his nose as she left... what is he, ten? I mean even if he's supposed to be a teen here it's still... like... he's not a little boy to fucking boop his nose. No wonder her mother seems to trust her with taking care of him, with how both treat him like he's a child.

Hi there! You're gonna die :D

Shit I just noticed the portrait on the wall. Is that a... is that a fucking ruff collar his mother is wearing???? (btw I had to search to find that term with "shakespeare collar" XD)

I mean... you can't help falling for it. At first you're like, she seems too... simple for a call girl. But then you're like, who else could it be who also knows his name?

I wonder what would've happened if she hadn't asked to use the bathroom, which prompted her to look at his parents' bedroom and him to... initiate contact. Would he have mustered the courage to actually ask her about it or would he have been so flustered until she'd say something? What would she say? "You know, your mother said you would [something]" and he would FREAK THE FUCK OUT because how does his mother know? Would they have stayed there in awkward silence long enough for his mother to call, him to pick up and find out what she was really there for?

I mean, look at that! I'm speculacting the "what-ifs"! Good fucking movie!

That look, though. You suddenly go from "Aw you cute" to "WTF I know you're thirsty for it but that's... creepy"

Look at that smile, though! She is pretty nosy!

I just... I love everything about this. The way she's smiling at nosing in in her boss' bedroom. Him creeping behind her like the future killer that he is, actually scaring her. The way he says "This is my mother's room," so shy and collected. The fucking music, too. How it slowly builds up from the moment she spots the bedroom and it starts developing when Brendan kisses her.

And that kiss. So chaste and shy and yet she's like, wow yeah let's have sex now.

"You're not as shy as you look." LOL

For the pre-sex scene I just wanna link y'all to @killian-whump 's post about it, since it says it all.

Also dude the voicemail is set up from that moment too, but we've yet to hear what it includes, aside from his mother being bossy about the smallest things. "I hope you haven't gone back to bed." IF ONLY YOU KNEW. Not only what bed he's gone to, but also what he's doing on said bed.

"You don't waste much time, do you?" Lol if only you knew. And again his first response is to apologize if he did anything wrong.

And you know what? Plot twists are a hell of a lot of fun and well made when they make you go back and see things with the new perspective. Like, how chill and simple she was, why she said the last line I mentioned, the newly-known reasons why she said it was kinky to have sex in his mother's bedroom... *slams hand on table* That's a great way to do a plot twist! A fucking plus!

Like seriously, this convo: B: Have you met my father? M: No, but a lot of the other girls have though.

Pre-plot twist viewer: Wow whAT how do you say it like that Post-plot twist viewer: Yeah makes sense

M: I think he gets sympathy from them, like, you know, cause his wife's such an old witch... *realizes* Oh, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said that! *more failed excuses and then THAT face*

And like, that's a bit inappropriate in any case but pre-plot twist you're like WTAF. And then you're like eh makes sense for frustrated employees to pity their bitchy boss' seemingly calm husband...

And there's that set-up from before. Job well done, film.

And then their argument about the money. Brendan being confused about the amount, Mandy saying she'll come back and speak to his mother about it...

Seriously though what if he'd found out the voicemail after he'd had sex and before the "confrontation"? Would he like, have sent her on her merry way with all the money and then had more sex with the actual call girl?

And then his instinct, to try and make sure his mother won't find out, is to fucking threaten the woman with a knife. Wow, a little too much, Brendan. And then his first instinct, when they're fighting, is to search and grab the knife and fucking stab her. Lbr though that's just baby Colin finding his call for playing messed-up characters.

Also how did she die so quickly. Guess I found one weakness in the plot XD

And now you're like Jesus he just murdered her but when Barbara comes a-knocking and he looks at her and exasperatedly calls her name, you're like... same, bro.

And the stupid bastard didn't even wash the blood off his arm. Like seriously, Brendan, either do a murder correctly or don't do it at all. At least you can't say he wasn't dedicated, bro sliced his own arm open. *pats head* you'll learn, my little murderous bean, you'll learn.

Brendan: I was doing the dishes. Barbara: Did your parents leave them for you to do? They must have left in a rush this morning.

Yes, Barbara, he can do the dishes, he's in an undetermined age between late teens and-

Barbara: They didn't even make their bed.

Wtf you nosy bitch.

See what I'm saying? Full character development for a character with like, two minutes of screentime.

And then the voicemail drops like an anvil. My first thought when his mother said that Mandy is nothing but trouble I was like "Yo look who's talking" but then I thought that... yeah she did creep in her boss' bedroom, actually had sex with her son in it, then pretty much talked dirt to him about her... I mean she definitely didn't deserve to die, but maybe his mother was a good judge of character for one (1) moment.

And then Lorraine appears.

And Brendan's like "Now I have money for like, three hours with her. Maybe I'll even convince her to help me hide the body too."

“OR MAYBE I’LL JUST KILL HER TOO.”

In conlusion, yup, I’m pretty glad I spent a good hour and a bit watching, analyzing, writing this review and screencapping this film. 10/10 would rewatch and review again.

[muggycuphead]

weird flex but ok i guess pt.10

9

War… Hold up, do we really need a warning for this one? Dunno, but however, watch out for slightly disturbing and kinda…disgusting imagery, trypophobic patterns, as well as ‘necrotic’ designs I made while having funky fever bc o h m y g o d do I get a little crazier every new quarantine day (and at this point it’s coming to be an usual thing for me, big sad). However, most are made no other than for the sole sake of satire, so y’know, no need to get your underwear in a twist

Friday Night Funkin’ BoyFriend’s Hood – Jazz Mum Concept [XI]

EDIT 26/10/2023: Updated the drawing with a rescanned, more clean version (yipee text is readable now :D)

So yeah, though I originally used the concept from MizanPloz‘s mod for BF’s mom in BFs’H (basically the same stuff but she knows how to play saxo), on the later run I decided to withdraw that idea the moment I started to ‘rewrite’ BF’sH as an alternate timeline from the main FNF canon, and bring up something of my own, which, by the way, slightly relates back to the original prototype I had in mind for BF’s mom, who was supposed to be a rowdy, ghetto-ish woman who banged a male ghost in order to have BF (please don’t ask me to explain how in the Kentucky fried fuck is that even logically possible because I have no clue myself, my brain was doing funny little flips back then –and yes that was a reference to the funny green hoodie masked man)

…And overall, this was the final result: A trucker woman that likes to play jazz on her sax, either smooth, rock or whatever, I’m no saxophone expert. Also, she’s a raptors and dinosaurs lover, bet you 5 bucks she’ll flip if she stumbles across Minus Pico (no wonder why she used to wear dino-like caps during her young adulthood)

She’s quite absent though, but she tries to keep up with his husband and kids by sending letters and calling up at any chance she gets to do so, and you can also bet those same 5 bucks BF is the first one to have a happiness overdrive when he hears her voice on the phone speaker.

Oh yeah and she can drive bussies too; and considering she lives in an ‘unusual’ hood (to say the least) you can imagine the sort of shit she has to prepare for during her shifts (hence why that sketch in the right up corner exists)

And yeah, she and McBleep (her husband and BF’s dad in this AT/AU) didn’t like each other that much during their young adulthoods, but I’ll tell the story about it in a later post, just you wait

Also, that circular thingy hanging on her neck isn’t a necklace, it’s a locker with plenty of family photos (yeah it might be small but once you open it you’ll see it’s literally a mini album inside). Plus, the tattoos she has on her arms and chest actually represent certain things about her. The one on her chest is related to her own family tree plus her husband and children; the one on her left arm refers to her profession as a truck and bus driver (she likes the vroom vroom) and the one on her right arm relates to her passion for sax music.

And BTW, something I forgot to mention in the previous post- in BF’sH, BF has this funny thing on him that he’s capable of imitate any sort of alarm, siren and even bugle, including truck ones…also his snore sounds like a bike roaring, though this one came off more explicitly during his teenhood, you have no idea the amount of times Broddy lost his shit by confusing his snorts with an actual bike going off…or being stolen even (let’s be real though, he kinda dum)

And I guess that’s about it

11

[pnksausage]

a/n: i honestly couldn’t tell you where the inspiration for this came from but i had the idea and decided to go with it. it’s a mess ngl!! i wrote this au with a slightly aged up jihoon in mind due to the nature of being a detective, but his current age works just as well! please note that this is my first time posting any sort of scenario so please do go easy on me and let me know if there are any mistakes or if you liked it!! also i named it after this song! mainly because i’m awful with names and... you’ll see. btw i bullshitted 99.9% of the information and based it off of cop shows because it’s all for fun anyway! 

as a final note, this is written in jihoon’s pov because it just fit best for the way i wanted to tell this story. sorry if that isn’t your thing!

warnings: dead bodies mentioned but never described.

it all begins with a paper, almost unnoticed in its crumpled state in the middle of the floor

while most of the team was focused on taking pictures of the crime scene and the body on the couch, park jihoon was curious as to why in such an immaculately cleaned house that trash would randomly be there so close to the body

any other time he wouldn’t have thought much of it, but due to the victim and the necessity of solving the current string of cases that had come up within the past few months, he’d take any sort of clue he could get his hands on

he carefully picked the paper up with a gloved hand and after peeking over his shoulder quickly unraveled it to find out if there was anything of importance written on it

there was a jumped batch of letters and in the bottom right corner of the paper a bright red heart presumably was drawn with lipstick though jihoon couldn’t be sure

the team clears out within a few hours and jihoon shares the note with a few of the people he’s managed to get close to once becoming a detective; lai guanlin — the newbie on the team — and bae jinyoung — the young cop who always somehow accompanied jihoon whenever they were to look at the body and scan for any clues to connect the dots

he had also sent it in as evidence but was told it probably had nothing to do with the case and that the woman had most likely dropped it there before being killed 

still, it was there... just in case

his friends, however, believed that maybe jihoon was onto something but... they didn’t know what. jihoon was the detective for a reason!

they urged him to treat it as a lead and try to piece together the letters and see if it managed to form anything worthwhile

he spent hours trying to make a word from it but continuously came up short and eventually came to believe that it was just something the victim had dropped

his potential lead having led to a dead end, jihoon felt hopeless as they were sure that this murder was connected to the others that had been going on, though they couldn’t be sure because so far all of them seemed erratic 

he had a feeling in his gut that the same person had committed all the crimes he just needed a way to prove it

stressed and feeling disappointed as his clue led nowhere, jihoon finds himself holed up in the corner of his favorite cafe, fingers tapping mindlessly at his phone as he drinks a cup of coffee

it’s then that a sound draws him away from his tech, eyes peering up towards the piano settled in the middle of the room, a man with pitch black hair playing so beautifully that he wonders why the man isn’t playing professionally somewhere

it’s neither here nor there and he doesn’t dwell on the thought long, pulled out of his mind by the sound of a voice beside him

“it’s beautiful isn’t it?”

he’s shocked as he eyes her, eyes traveling over her features and darting away when her eyes meet his

a small smile tugs at his lips as he bashfully looks up again, this time offering her a small nod in response to what she’d said

“yeah, it is.”

she smiles. jihoon feels his heartbeat quicken.

“i’ve always loved this song.”

it’s said more to herself than anything, voice barely more than a murmur as her eyes flash back to the man playing the piano. jihoon notes the subtle disappointment that crosses her face when the man finishes the song and fades into another one tucks away the way she looks when she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear into the back of his mind

he looks away momentarily when her eyes meet his again

“what’s it called?”

his question is quiet, testing the waters

“spring waltz.” 

she replies, just as quiet

he asks her why she’s there to which she replies she’s studying

she asks him why he’s there and he responds that he’s taking a break

she doesn’t ask from what and he’s thankful for it

they fall into a casual silence then, jihoon going back to his phone and her to her book

an hour passes and soon she rises to leave

he asks for her name

“y/n.”

she smiles, extending a hand to shake and he’s caught off guard by her formalness but shakes it nonetheless a smile gracing his own lips as well

“jihoon.”

it’s unspoken, the hope to see her again but for some reason, he thinks she feels the same

it’s months before he sees her again

by then there are bags under his eyes from a lack of sleep and overwhelming stress due to being unable to solve the case

he’s finally managed to figure out a pattern of sorts, noticed the beginnings of a line to connect the chaotic scatter of dots, but hasn’t been able to figure it all yet

for an ace detective, he sure wasn’t doing a good job at all

and at each crime scene there’d be another note, another jumbled mess of letters, and each time there’d be a red heart in the bottom right corner

the letters never seemed to mean anything but jihoon wasn’t going to let the notes go so soon, not after finding them at every single case

he wasn’t sure if the killer was the one leaving the letters or perhaps someone who had managed to find out about the case as well, but he was determined to find the source one day

one afternoon he finds himself in the corner of that same coffee shop mindlessly listening to the piano music filtering quietly through the speakers as this time there was no live player

she comes soon after, as if by chance, and offers him a smile before taking a sip of her drink, the book left opened on the table as she searches for his eyes

he meets hers and sends her a tired smile in return 

“it’s been awhile.”

she begins, eyes flickering back to her book before she ultimately decides to close it, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by the detective

“yeah, it has been. i’ve been busy.”

he takes a small drink from his coffee and sets it back on the table, the clink loud in the quiet of the cafe

she nods in return, lips pursing

“i see. tough job?”

he nods in return, rubbing his eyes before catching her gaze

“you know those unsolvable questions your professors give you? the kind that are meant to test your resolve more than your knowledge? well, that’s what i always think they’re doing, anyway.” he pauses to laugh, tongue darting out to wet his lips. “i have one of those. i’ve been trying for months to solve it but i just can’t figure it out. i’ll stare at it for hours and hours and i just can’t seem to get it down.”

she laughs softly in response and he finds himself enraptured by the sound of it

“i know what you mean.” a pause to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear similar to the way she had the last time they’d met, “i wonder if it’s just as tiring for your professor to see you failing to figure it out.”

he hadn’t thought of that

maybe the person leaving the notes was watching for his progress

he’d have to keep that in mind

“maybe.” another pause, this time longer. “hey... last time i never asked for your number... so.”

she laughs again, his heartbeat pitter patters in his chest

“of course.”

moments later he has her number stored in his phone with a rabbit emoji next to it, her choice

they continue their conversation like they’ve known each other forever, him questioning about her taste in music and her love for piano pieces to which her eyes light up and he feels as though he can watch her talk for hours

eventually, they part ways, but the conversation never lulls

they chat all night on their phones and before his head finally hits the pillow in the dark hours of the morning he wishes her a goodnight

it goes like this for awhile, constant chatting even when they can’t meet up, and the times where their schedules align he finds himself eating meals with her and overall spending whatever free time he can find with her by his side

then another body is found and jihoon is whisked away to work yet again

it’s another tireless week of attempting to unscramble the code and piece together the fine line of the case

with no luck, he finds himself in the corner of the cafe yet again, but this time he’s asked her to accompany her

it’s much more fun to wallow in your misery with someone by your side

he’s thankful that she never presses for information about his job after he mentioned he couldn’t really talk about it, but it’s when she’s getting up to go back to her place that he gets an idea

“hey, you’re good with words, right? do you think you can help me with something?”

he misses the way that she hesitates, doesn’t see the look that momentarily crosses her face, too caught up in the beautiful way she smiles and nods 

he pulls up the picture he took of the latest note then, one that mimicked one of the earlier ones, mocking him for being unable to solve it

it takes her only a moment to answer, the name rolling off of her tongue instantly after she scans the photo

he doesn’t realize until after she’s long gone, too caught up in messaging guanlin and jinyoung that he’s finally figured it out

there was no way she should have been able to figure it out so quickly

no matter how good she was with words, it would have taken much more effort to piece together that it was a name unless she had seen it before

unless she had written the note

he begins to connect the dots then, the red lipstick she always wore, her handwriting, the paper she always used

there was no way she could be connected to the murders, though, right?

in due time he manages to connect the case after searching the database for the name on the notes because of course, each note had led to the same thing even if it took him a while to piece it all together

some of them had to be connected together while others had the whole name on the note just scrambled so much it was impossible to figure it out

they had found the man and with evidence managed to connect him to every case that they had assumed was committed by the same person in the first place

still, he felt idiotic for having not been able to figure it out on his own in the first place

and for not seeing all the signs right in front of him

she texts him the day after the encounter but doesn’t say anything when he questions her immediately after

“i’ll tell you why i did what i did one day. i wasn’t involved. please believe me.”

it goes against everything he’s been taught but he does

he never mentions it to anyone and when his friends ask about the girl he’d been so enamored with he simply tells them that the spark fizzled out

he doesn’t hear from her after that day, all his attempts at contacting her having been met with silence

he hopes that one day he’ll get to hear that beautiful laugh again along with spring waltz playing in the background

maybe then he’d understand

[jacintatveit]

Yeah you can never really know who someone is, even when you are actually friends with them or hell, even when you're related to them. What about those allegations that Fassbender assaulted a girlfriend of his about a decade ago? There's no way to know if it's true or not, but when I heard about it I debated it for a while and ultimately decided I love his work and have to divorce the man from the talent. I personally like Alicia, what do you have against her?

That girl I believe she has a history of accusing her bfs without evidence. And she dropped the case. 

For AV I think she’s untalented but she believes she is the best & deserves what she has & always talks about oscar. She was supposed to apply for actress in the leading role but she applied for supporting role and thus got the award. This shows that she wants nothing more than the award. If she does love her movie career as she claimed, she could have continued making good movies & demonstrating her talent & getting recognition from the academy. But she didn’t choose to do that.

From the several interviews I read (I only read a few), for instance, in Elle, she could have talked about lots of things, her interests her career her favorite movies etc. But instead she talked at length about Michael and her. Meanwhile she said during TLBO promotion & many times that they are very private & she doesn’t talk about her bf. Such a hypocrite.

Also in a recent Singapore interview I believe, when asked about what’s her fav thing to do in her spare time she said Eat and Sleep. The reporter confirmed again and she replied the same. Really? Does she think she’s cute by answering that? Only give people the perception she doesn’t have anything else interesting to say.

In the same interview she said J Law’s Hunger Games is successful so this proves her Tomb Raider can be successful. Really? Does she think she is as famous as J Law? Does she think these are the same cases? It appears to me she knows nothing about the industry & doesn’t care & but at the same time believes she is very famous. 

BTW after this question the reporter asked about another TV series that has a woman character lead. Nice opportunity to elaborate on women rights & share her own opinions on this popular topic. But instead she said oh that TV show I watched it I believed Alexander Skarsgard was in that one too! She just had to drag her rumored bf into her every answer. Doesn’t she have her own opinions on any interesting stuff? Just, plain and boring.

These are just from several interviews I do read (and recall). Most of the times I don’t care. I don’t include any rumors about her from online platforms though. Lots of them are saying she’s unprofessional & has drug problem. I tend not to believe the rumors without evidence. 

But we do know from TLBO director, this Oscar winner needs 13 takes to get it right while her co-worker Michael only needs 1 or 2. Does she really deserve the award? Is this the best she can do? 

Also I think people have rights to like/dislike anyone just from their instincts without any specific reasons. Yes, I know her because of Michael but I have the right to not like her at the first glance.  From the appearance she just doesnt belong to my fav actresses category. As an actress she has nothing that makes me feel amazing. As a person she is not interesting & doesn’t have charisma to me. 

So that’s basically why I don’t like her. But as for why I don’t like her being with Mike that’s another issue. In short, they look like Father-Daughter to me. I personally don’t like the image. Also with her he seems to become boring as well. Maybe there is her influence maybe not. All we know is that he’s different before he met her. Also the snus he’s using. That’s a disgusting Swedish thing. My friend who went to college in Sweden told me that thing is definitely not for quitting smoking. So definitely, not a good influence from AV.  

Before AV he hardly got into pap photos & valued his privacy & he was truly off the radar. After AV he has IBIZA. I can’t believe a person who values privacy will kiss & have intimate interactions with his gf while he KNOWS there are paparazzi taking photos of them and these photos will be headlines of tabloids. Maybe he’s changed maybe this is who he really is maybe he is a fool. But I know I don’t like celebrity couples’ PDA in public WHILE claiming they are private and complaining about paparazzi.  

p.s. I am not a native English speaker so forgive me for my poor word choice & grammar

[mcrmadness]

Saw again some weird dreams...

So just like the header says, some more weird-ass dreams coming from here :D The first part was mainly about Die Ärzte and then it turned into some sort of scifi-fantasy movie where I was the protagonist/antagonist/antihero and I was running away from bad or good guys and hiding in closets that had lots of bedsheets and stuff in them. So, here we go:

1. I think it started with me being just at home, browsing all my Die Ärzte files on my computer. I’ve collected quite a big “archive” of photos and videos and stuff over the years. In this dream I apparently was browsing my folder for Bela photos but for I also had there a subfolder that was named as “well done”, might have been in Finnish, not sure. Anyway, there was apparently some of my favorite Bela photos and actually every photo in that folder was created by my subconscious last night. For some reason, in that folder was also many REALLY GOOD Bela/Farin videos that’s existence I had forgotten (well because those also were created by my subconscious, they don’t exist in real life). This kind of dream if actually nothing new to me: I often see dreams of videos that don’t exist and I’m always watching them as videos so that I try and sometimes even can replay them. And it’s always as annoying to wake up from them :D

So in this dream was some Bela-interview from... not exactly sure if it was 2007 or what. But he had short hair, either black or dark brown. And this was like some sort of a festival area and behind him was a normal... fence, I don’t even know how to call that in Finnish :D Anyway, and behind that fence there was people, it was like a crowd in front of a stage, idk. And he was giving some interview when then suddenly someone ran from the crowd to him but was still behind the fence - and that was Farin, wearing sunglasses (I think it was early Spring) and he had a camera with him and he was really smiley and apparently on a good mood. Here they had some conversation of their own, I think it was about a jacket. I feel as if Farin was asking Bela to hand him his (Farin’s) jacket (this might have even been in German lol I’m slowly getting there with my language skills XD) that was on this side of the fence. But they also hadn’t seen each other in ages, I think. I feel like there was lots of happening but I no longer can remember that all, but lots of nice, small things I always look for when I see interviews about them. I think Farin went back to the crowd eventually. And when the interview ended, Bela was also going to the other side of the fence and on the left side there was a huge gate and he went there and Farin also walked there and then they hugged tightly because they hadn’t seen each other in a while.

Then I think I tried to rewatch this interview but it was something else and I noticed it only after watching it a while. This time Bela definitely had the 2007′s hair. And this video was basically filmed “by Bela” even tho it was also quite far away from them, in some sort of interview studio and it had nothing to do with the “first” video I just saw. From this one I mostly remember them AGAIN talking about a jacket. Farin wanted to borrow Bela’s jacket - which turned out to be bright purple leather jacket wtf :D Looked like what you can maybe buy from girls’ sections from these cheap clothing stores. And Farin wanted to wear/try on that jacket even tho Bela told him that that he doesn’t think the jacket is even big enough for Farin. This was again quite confusing. And it ended in Farin wearing a wig - long and black wig, and he was basically doing the same what Bela did in their “Serienklassiker” videos when he was playing the part of Lassie. I think Bela was sitting on a sofa, it was still an INTERVIEW IN A STUDIO and Farin was wearing black wig, sitting on the floor and rubbing himself against Bela’s knees like a cat as a joke and I heard someone saying in English “I think Farin wants to be Bela’s pet.” And THANK GODS this is where the dream ended!!!

Or. Almost. Next thing I see is me again being me but now it was like the setting for their video Bettmagnet, but instead of watching a video, I was in this room WITH them. The arrange was exactly the same except that now I was also sitting on this bed but just on the right edge. And There was two tv’s hanged on the walls, one right in front of us and one on the wall on Farin’s side. And I was watching DÄ interviews or videos with them. I don’t even know what we were watching but I remember this white text on a purple background (same color as the too-small-jacket from the previous part :DDD) and Farin wasn’t feeling so good about that and I don’t know what language he used but he said something like how it’s quite embarrassing to watch this now as someone is seeing it too, as it was always meant just as a joke and not that they would actually once watch it and see other people watching it too. (Yeah same everytime I need to watch something about or made by me while others watch.)

I have no idea what it was that we were about to watch but then there was an advertisement to something that looked like a handheld game console made into a shape of Batman logo and Bela had designed. I don’t know why but it made me laugh so much and then Farin either turned into my mom or asked me as Farin: “Are you laughing or crying?” And I just told him I’m laughing. And my mom was included because I actually once ad my mom to come ask me if I’m laughing or crying when I was alone in my room laughing, as sometimes my laugh does sound very, very stupid :D And I could hear my laugh so well in this dream, I wonder if I was actually laughing asleep...

2. Then I think this was a cool switch to another dream. I kinda dived into this “movie”.  Because this “movie” had a Batman logo, it was DC themed and then there was the name “Malcolm Merlyn” which I know mostly from the tv series “Arrow” but he’s also included in the LEGO DC Villains video game (yes I love LEGO video games :D). It was some kind of huge place with narrow hallways and lots of doors, bit like in a spaceship style but it was still on the ground on Earth and not a spaceship. I saw him lockpicking his way to somewhere but that’s all, I didn’t see him again and also only saw his back. I went to another hallway and I also tried to lockpick some door open but I was caught. Some woman came there to talk to me, saying things like “Did you really think you could get away like this? You shouldn’t have done *something* to your shoelaces as they gave you away now.” and I was just standing there, not moving or saying anything as I was not sure if she was able to see me or not. Somehow I felt like everyone in this place was bluffing me and talking to me as if they saw me but that they did not, and therefore they only talked to me instead of attacking right away. And if I attacked them, I’d give away my place. But I was not sure if it was like that or if they were just typical villains keeping a monologue before they act cos they think they have already won. ANd then they always fail.

Anyway, I think I then acted really fast. I don’t know what I did, maybe I attacked her or something but I sure as hell started running. This hallway  was like... there was huge pillars to it was like a “ladder” shaped bluprint. So I was running and hiding non-stop and these women kept coming and going, trying to capture me, and at some point I think I had the “belt” part of a bathrobe and I did something with it to get one of the women out of the picture.

While I was running, I heard a woman’s voice from the speakers as an alarm went off and she said how I was on the loose and information about me, I only remember her saying my real-life name and then that I speak Italian - which is not true. I don’t speak Italian :D I might want to learn it tho, because having relatives in Italy.

Then it kinda changed and now I was in a place that looked like a hospital of some sort. I was still running away and tried to hide into these closets but all of them just had shelves with besheets and pillows and stuff like this and I could no fit into the closets. I still hid in one of them but they saw me going there, and again it happened: this woman was standing at the door staring at me and talking how she sees me, but doing absolutely nothing about it and I still said nothing but just kept sitting there and didn’t move so they don’t actually see me. And when they least expected it, I acted and could escape them again. And then I run to another thing like this and could hide in the last closet, somehow could fit myself on the lowest shelf on all these pillows. But a little girl came to the door and said that she found me, but I said her if she doesn’t give me away, I’ll give her candy - which btw was the only time I ever spoke in this part of the dream. So she just stared at me for a while and then said “Deal.” gave me the pillow that had dropped from the closet and closed the door and shouted the women “There’s nothing!” and went with them. And this is where the dream ended.

I have no idea what this action movie dream really was :D It was also so weird because I don’t know if I was the hero or the villain even, or maybe an antihero. I did watch both Hellboy movies with my dad and sister couple of days ago but this dream had pretty much nothing to do with those movies. It also makes me think of a movie that I have never even seen yet and know nothing about, so I don’t know...

On the other hand, my head seems to hurt migraine-like every time I cough so migraine can also create some of the weirdest dreams.

[doisneau]

i sometimes talk about my teachers

but you should know that they all are REALLY crazy, so here is some stuff about them: - my physics teacher: owns a kung-fu academy and always wears a sweater with their motto: “fight your fight, improve yourself”. he also likes lecturing us on eating healthy before tests.  - my freshman year art history teacher: once gave a meditation class but then admitted that he is not as good as the physics teacher in meditating. he’s really extra, like always jumping around and shouting and doing cartwheels to get our attention. it works. AND he dates the philosophy teacher, making them the power couple. - this philosophy teacher: is the coolest and most amazing woman at our school. (almost) everyone loves and wants to be her. she’s just so awesome, I don’t even know how to explain why, but trust me. - my literature teacher: super poetic (usually too much but I still love every single thing he says). sometimes he says weird stuff about relationships (like describes them in weird ways I don’t want to repeat) and makes everyone feel uncomfortable. once threw an ‘adventurer’ themed party to his baby. is the reason my friend calls me smelly mushroom. is part of “i have a lot of degrees” club - my biology teacher: loves running and loves going to the beach. all of his presentation’s photos are from beach runs. once broke up with a girlfriend because she hated when he stopped and pointed out plant and animal species, which he does AL THE TIME. “if only i had a leaf right now *opens backpack and takes out a huge leaf* well look at that, what a coincidence”. always talk abou his orchids. has a huge marine aquarium at his parents house because he lives in an apartment and the floor would break if he brought it there. huge - my history teacher: is like 12, he’s a child. has a really cute laugh?? it feels like he’s always giggling, again, like a kid. is ashamed he watches game of thrones. is always talking shit about capitalism on his facebook page. used to live with my freshman year geography teacher. - this geography teacher: is my cousin (long story and really distant cousin). he’s also 12. calls everyone “love”. used to rest his arm on my head all the time. quit school to work in another state but still hasn’t found a job at a school and is now a bartender. loves @stormdefender and i a lot and we miss him. - my current geography teacher is CRAZY. too. many. opened. tabs. once spent 40 bucks on chocolate in front of me and said “it’s for my chocolate collection, I’m a chocoholic”. loves talking about abya yala and points at its flags and squeals when she sees them. - my chemistry teacher: is also really crazy, but kinda creepy. rumor has it that he once locked students in a classroom and they had to jump out of the window (it’s not true but i love that someone actually invented this). once brought speakers so he could dance with other teachers at teacher’s lounge. talks too much about his personal life. knows so many languages. teaches us greek swear words. loves that my name is greek and ALWAYS tries to pronounce it in ancient greek. also part of the “i have a lot of degrees” club. - my junior year history teacher: pretended he hated everyone, but actually didn’t. soft but pretends to be super mean. loves communism. owns an instagram account just with selfies and sarcastic anti-capitalist hashtags. loves argentina. once danced with me in the eighth grade but probably pretends he doesn’t remember. - my junior year biology teacher: loves phone video games. spent too much time catching pokemons on our field trip. is part of my clan on clash royale. is also a child. - my english teacher: for starters she’s the best. sometimes sings when someone says something that reminds her of a song. “spoilers doesn’t exist in cinema”. likes watching students debating. also a member of “i have a lot degrees” club. i once met her at the mall and she had a lot of beers in one hand and just said “don’t you fucking dare take a photo, btw do you know anything about pokemon?” - my junior year chemistry teacher: only used comic sans. cheeky power point transitions and colorful slides. uses memes in a very very wrong way. - my maths teacher: loves mixing portuguese with languages like english and spanish even though he doesn’t speak any of them properly. “this is easier than pushing drunk people in a slope”. if you ask him so solve an exercise chances are that he’ll say “i don’t know how to do that one”. and whenever he makes a mistake he says “oops, it’s the alcohol” - my freshman year chemistry teacher: is the youngest of all teachers (at least was until the new hot freman year literature teacher was hired). is like 6 years older than me wtf. mine was his first ever class. ever. he was so scared and didn’t know what to do. loves teaching the history of chemistry. gets really happy when students like his classes obsessed with marie curie. has a dog named marie curie and talks about her on facebook. kinda looks like miles teller, but also kinda looks like a thumb. gets excited explaining his name (it’s french). was friends with a former art history teacher and it was so radom no one believed it. - my physical education teacher: has so many catch phrases. “do it brutally”. “no pretending”. vlogs on his instagram account. makes videos of him cycling at 8am on a sunday. “what are YOU doing this morning”. everyone feels bad watching these. is a huge meme and knows it.

[titleknown]

It was shockingly easy to get through to the building. Most of the staff had already fled due to the oncoming disaster, and the admittedly well-armed guards weren’t prepared for a woman made of metal and a woman made of data-given-solidity.

Of course, after several moments of them begging for their lives, the guards were all too eager to tell them what was going on.

Except before they could do so; much to the screaming unremitting horror of both women, the guards began to melt.

If either of the two entering the building had olfactory perceptors they would have smelled a stench of burning necrosis and urine so strong that if they had stomachs they would have vomited as the smoldering slime that once was human flesh rolled out of smartcloth uniforms.

Even as it was, both were rattled as they searched the building for the servers. The data-woman; the Cybernetic Queen; because she was baffled by what kind of monster could do this while the metal woman; Love Buster; because she knew exactly what kind of monster could do such a thing. Being in showbiz teaches you that, Buster thought.

As the duo searched the map; there was one specific room that could not be reached electronically through searching through the computer systerms. One moment the Cybernetic queen was zipping through the datastreams in the place, the next it was like she had hit a brick wall.

Buster occupied herself by reading the maps in the building, given she might as well do something, as she could feel the invisible countdown clock ticking down, as small tremors ran through the floors. She noticed that all of them had a conspicuously empty spot in the building, where a room should be and yet there was no room shown there.

Naturally, this was where Buster wanted to search first, despite Queen’s mention of a lack of a door there. Which Buster then answered by making a door. Via punching. Several times.

As they both walked through the hole in the re-enforced steel wall, the actual secret door slid open.

The room was decorated from floor to celling decadent gold and lurid; jeweled red, all framing a massive elder-wood desk at the center covered in carvings of grotesques and mass-sacrifices, and tiny white sitting-stool in front of it.

Upon every wall there were several painted portraits of a man with blonde hair and a red beard; high cheekbones and a predatory gaze, and one glove over his left hand and a sunken black pit where his right eye should be. And they all had eyes that seemed to follow one as they entered the room…

“Well, seems like somebody in here’s a drama king.” Buster said, breaking the silence. They stepped in. The echoes of the city and the thing outside coming back out of the place seemed to just melt away in the walls of flaming color. As she moved towards the desk, Queen couldn’t help but feel like she was being watched, even though she could not detect a single surveilance device in the wall. At least, not a digital one.

As Queen searched, Buster looked around. There wasn’t much to inspect aside from the desk and the pictures, and Queen was already on the former. She decided she might as well look inside the paintings. Most of them had curious symbols in a crusty dark-reddish-brown paint, a few did have safes behind them. Alas, there was no money behind them; but only unsettling items that Buster did not want to touch, and photographs. The grand majority of the photographs showed the man in the portrait standing in various austere concrete spaces with similar symbols to those on the wall, and a number of dead bodies within those symbols. The bodies seemed artistically positioned using knives and rope, like a flower arrangement of dead flesh but the positions were too disgusting to even hint at here.

Queen meanwhile was looking for whatever hidden documents she could find in the desk, but all that was there were just ashes. Just, large piles of ashes. Beneath one of those files, however, she found a brass apple, opened up to reveal a switch.

Whoever left must have been in a hurry enough to not cover their tracks. She flipped the switch just as Buster was deciding whether or not to destroy those photos, and at first, there was nothing.

Then, there was a rumbling, decidedly different from the one in the distance, like a door’s mechanism clicking open. Which, in fact, it was, a trapdoor beneath the desk; with a long; golden slide.

Buster looked over to Queen. Buster then and there decided it would be best to keep the photos right about now and then, with determination minus forethought; jumped in.

And, with another modicum of forethought; mostly consisting of swear words, Queen jumped in as well.

And, at the bottom of the stairwell was a theatre wrapped in darkness. Like the one Cybernetic Queen had seen when searching through Buster’s mind.

But, while that was sinking in, Love Buster had drunk in parts of the larger horror.

The pillars of the server farm were connected by cables glowing red forming a cats cradle of knots in yet another familiar symbol, at once evocative of the ones on the walls and a theatre seats, and the lone figure from the side looking upon the stage and what was going on there.

But, on top of the stage was a sight transfixing both by its sheer horror. It was a robot of shining aquamarine metal. She seemed like would have been Buster’s size if she still had her limbs. Her monocular eye and rabbit-pigtails hung low as the places where her arms and legs should have been hung taut like a crucifixion from red; pulsing cables, like the ones on the servers but larger, and thicker. And the two large speakers on her torso were pulsing with song. A thousand different songs, all of them   of agony, a thousand different voices, combining into one. They could both feel it, but through her paranatural origins Queen felt it a bit more. The sound of something old; and deep; and dark.

The man, looking satisfied, began to walk away from the stage.

“Wait just a minute you motherfucker!” Buster said, as she ran towards him. The man looked at her, for a moment, in the same way a whale would eye a gnat, and walked through a door opened within the darkness. Queen chased after him, and just a split second after he walked through, she grabbed for the doorknob, only to find… It was never there to begin with, simply a wall.

She looked up on the stage. She thought for a moment the machine was looking at her with its sad eye, but the moment snapped away, and the din grew ever louder.

And then she heard the Queen; knowing fear in her voice for the first time; saying simply: “Something’s coming.”

And, from the shadows of the back of the stage, something with great goggle-eyes and long; ethereal claws began to draw itself forward…

THAT’S RIGHT, CLIFFHANGER MOTHERFUCKERS! Because A) I’d spent long enough on this story in such a mentally urpy state that I couldn’t quite stand it ending like this and B), I don’t think a rushed finale could convey the emotion of that one new character, who I’ll just call The Breakdown Diva, I introduced.

Well, she’s sort of a new character, she was going to be a CC-BY-NC character given a new CC-BY identity, but IDK about the copyright on that so that’s a problem. She still is that character, I just won’t explicitly identify her original identity by name.

I will say, however, that she has a lovely singing voice, like if one could fall in love with a sound...

As per usual, the actual story itself & adaptations thereof are CC-BY-SA, but the characters/setting/ideas/ect are CC-BY, free to use as long as I, Thomas F. Johnson, am credited as their creator!

And, if you want to support me further in these drabbles and other endeavors, you can join my Patreon for previews, polls on what I should do next, and even commissioned art/writing at the higher tiers!

Have fun!

...Also BTW the villain’s name is Mr. Magic, for what it’s worth.

[skoesoh]

So are you against the women's march?? I was at one today and it was very cool & inspiring (from all the speakers) I think protests get a bad rep bc they sometimes get out of hand. The one (in Texas) was very nice soooo

noooooo no no i’m all for them!!!!! it’s amazing like the amount of people who want to make a difference like its honestly so amazing to see. what i mean specifically is (for example btw these are just photos i’ve seen in particular) like countless white women with caricatures of wombs and memes etc about trump and also another woman literally dressed as a vagina like…. it detracts from the seriousness like… it’s like they’re making a mockery of it idk like its one thing to have signs with puns or whatever on which are clever but still send a message but some of them are so distasteful it blows my mind like this is important n they should be more respectful,,, this is just my opinion i’m sure people disagree w me but .. hhhh

[sweetlightstudios]

An Authors Brand Image Session | South San Francisco Portrait Photography

To start, let's reflect on large scale Brand Image ... "Too many companies want their brands to reflect some idealized, perfected brand image of themselves. As a consequence, their brands acquire no texture, no character and no public trust." -- Richard Branson, Founder of Virgin Group

Hello, Friends!

Recently, a friend requested a Brand Image Session to  go along with her book promotion.  In creating her session, I was thinking of the quote above, and how this amazing woman is so trustworthy and full of life.  It is always my goal to ensure that we create authentic photos during brand image sessions, keeping in mind that sometimes the camera lies. My job during your Brand Image Session is to be certain that the camera lies for us, rather than against you!   Among the multitude of roles in the dynamic life she plays: Mother, Wife, Yoga Coach, Vegan Chef, Speaker, Motivator, Makeup Artist, Entrepreneur and more... She is now adding author to her list! Kenya has just completed and  launched, one of the most wonderful books written to empower young women. This book was born from her time as a Social Worker and connects to her current project to support young girls find a healthy path in society. Sacred Girls is here.

The mission of "Sacred Girl: Spiritual Life Skills for Conscious Young Women" is to motivate girls to empowerment through faith, self-love, confidence, and compassion. "Sacred Girl" provides girls and young women with real-life tools to help them become spiritually connected, dynamic, and able to create healthy relationships with others and with the earth. "Sacred Girl" will help girls to establish a solid foundation for their lives; lives in which they are confident, creative, expressive, and fearless. You can buy the book online at Amazon. Kenya wanted her brand image session to create authentic representations of her many facets  … yet all images needed to “look like herself”.

On three backgrounds we came up a number of brand image photos with a variety of looks, so many she had to go home with a gallery to choose!

Her key photo, the reason she ordered a Brand Image Session, was made with her authors photo for the back book jacket of her upcoming book in mind.  

I  love to hear that clients have found the perfect photo that they love & feel totally reflects them -- It's what I live for! If you don't love your brand image portrait, I don't believe you should be made to buy the photo! Other photos from her Brand Image Session will be published on Social Media, in blog posts, and speaking promotions. You can find many of her brand image selections already on her website (www.rubyenvywellness.com), keep a watch her social media for more updates! BTW ... her family is super lucky... because when she ordered her Brand Image Session with Sweet Light Studios prints are included in the session fee! So now her her husband, son, friends and family all have beautiful prints to carry with them of their beloved.   Win-Win for Mum, you know she loves to brag! Every Brand Image Session at Sweet Light Studios Includes: Pre-Shoot Consultation, Wardrobe Assessment and on set assistance with Styling your clothes. Empowering Pose Coaching, Flattering Photo shoot with Instant Image Review. 3 Final Selections, fully retouched delivered as a digital file with a matching radiant 5x7 print.   

Within the brand image session I am always CREATIVELY thinking outside the box for you. Therefore, images are always made both horizontal and vertical - able to include a quote, splat or text box.

As I said in my previous blog post on brand image sessions … A professionally executed personal brand image also ensures you will make a great first web-impression. Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~ Dr. Seuss My goal is always to work with you to create an amazing set of personal brand images! Call me today to learn more about on working together to create your powerful new brand image and let me help you “See Yourself in a New Light, in a Sweet Light”.

Wishing you a Sweet day! XOX, She Schedule a Personal Brand Image Session of your own at Sweet Light Studios in beautiful South San Francisco or at your site.  Contact Shelah today! Phone: 1+415/409.9389  | eMail: Shelah@SweetLightStudios.com   Find Us on YELP at SweetLightStudios Follow Us on Instagram at @inSweetLight Like Us on Facebook at SweetLightStudios & BTW, We’re Right Nextdoor, too! Read the full article

[sambaguy]

Samba Guy Goes On A Date

I have an iPhone 6 Plus and go to Coachella every year. I’m thinking about starting a blog and have been really into standup lately. I have a favorite microbrewery because I like my beer really hoppy, whatever that means. I have a fun Twitter feed and interesting theories about what could happen on House of Cards. Clearly, I am no slouch in the ladies department. I mean, I am funny, cultured, well dressed and well read, and any girl would take pride in dating a guy who is so keenly cool. And I have a ton of platonic female friends in my friend group. But, alas, the last few months have been what people in comedies would probably call a dry spell. Hard as it is to believe, I haven’t been with a girl in a long time.

I was devastated when my ex and I stopped seeing each other, except for the fact that when we stopped seeing each other, we couldn’t stop seeing each other, because we followed each other on Twitter and Instagram and were friends on Facebook. So I saw her all the time, her grinning profile picture shadowing my feed. “Unfollow her!” my roommates would roar. “You’re never going to get over her unless you unfollow her on all that stuff.” But I couldn’t. There was something so enthralling about being able to track her social life. Was she seeing someone else? I had to know. Besides, unfollowing her was too dramatic. Remaining friends on social media, however, showed I was unfazed, cool, chill and whatever. But I wasn’t any of those things. I’d find myself scrolling through her tweets and Instagram posts at 2 a.m., drunk. Her Instagram always included photos of other men. Men who, I could only assume, were better than me, knew more about album releases than I did, and had better takes to offer off-handedly during important cultural events, like the Billboard Awards (BTW, props to whoever booed Kanye and Kendal and Kylie, like seriousy it’s about time and LMAO at the censoring). Finally sensing the craziness of all this, I clicked “unfollow” and then “unfriend.” With this tiny act of defiance, I was finally free. “This is closure,” I told myself. “This is moving on.”

So it’s time to get back out there. I’ve been trying. Whenever I’m out with my friends at concerts or even just breweries, I try to talk to as many as possible. I don’t get a lot of positive responses—it’s surprisingly harder than you’d think to find a girl who shares my taste in music and opinions about shows (they need to at least be as caught up as I am because I tend to let the spoilers fly, especially when I’ve had a few beers and am excited by the prospect of someone of the fairer sex actually liking Game of Thrones or whatever show is being discussed at the moment). So many girls only listen to pop and not even critically, like they just don’t even know what they’re listening to. I guess that’s what I’m really looking for, at the end of the day, a girl that really knows her stuff. Like a needle in a haystack I’m afraid. But every once in a blue moon there’s that spark. And it’s truly magical.

I felt that spark last weekend when my friends and I were at a St. Vincent concert. It was there that I met Ellen, the girl who is going to be my date tonight and who, if I play my cards right, might even be my girlfriend. But I’m getting ahead of myself. So there I am with my roommates and we’re all standing around the bar. St. Vincent hasn’t started yet and they’re playing Girlpool over the speakers as the between-set music. It sounds pretty good and it takes me only about 45 seconds to recognize it. I turn to my friend Erik and point a finger at the ceiling, the universal sign for “You listening to this? This is good” (if that’s not in the ASL alphabet, they’re doing it wrong). Erik nods and leans closer to me.

“Trust me,” I tell him. “You’ll see this artist on the Coachella lineup in two years.”

Just then, a girl who was standing against the bar turns to us. She’s attractive and wearing a dark blue top with some pretty big jewelry around her neck.

“You know Girlpool?” she says to me, but kind of looking at the whole group. Clearly, there is a lot of mutual impressed-ness happening between all of us. But she was talking to me.

“Oh, yeah,” I tell her. I’m playing it cool now. “They’re pretty great.” She smiles at me and moves closer, now addressing me only and not so much the group. Already I’m feeling like something could happen here.

“They’re amazing,” she says. “Probably the most heartening band I’ve heard in a long, long time. It’s such special music.” She looks away for a second. “I can’t believe you like them, or even know about them.” Laughing.

“Yeah,” I say. “You’ll see this artist on the Coachella lineup in two years.”

“I already have my ticket,” she says and laughs.

“Really?” I’m instantly jarred back into reality. “When did they announce the lineup? Is presale available already?”

She looks confused for a second and then laughs again.

“You’re funny,” she says. I’m racking my brain for any recent Coachella news I remember seeing. Tickets cannot be available yet. That’s not possible. That’s almost a year from now. I fight the urge to take out my phone and check right now.

“I’m Ellen,” she says, sticking out her hand.

“Tom,” I say, startled.

“Tom,” she murmurs. “Nice to meet you.” I am at a total loss. I can’t focus on anything now. I take a sip of my beer to buy me some time. Ellen is still looking at me.

“You like these guys?” I say, motioning with my pint glass around the venue, indicating St. Vincent.

“Who? St. Vincent? Yeah, totally, she’s amazing, she’s such a badass.” I notice my friends have sort of dispersed into the crowd.

“So badass,” I say, taking another sip of beer and nodding. Just then, St. Vincent comes out on stage and it’s gets loud in here. We are jostled by everyone around us moving closer to the front. I feel, somehow, rooted to the spot, connected to Ellen. I don’t know what to do next. A group of girls come up to Ellen and engulf her. She looks at me and waves and disappears into the crowd. I’m by myself now and don’t see my friends anywhere.

When St. Vincent (pretty good) is over I’m still waiting on the outskirts of the crowd. I can’t believe that’s how it’s going to end with the Potential Girl of My Dreams. I craned my neck to look for her the entire time but couldn’t really see her and didn’t want to be totally creepy and track her down in the audience. My friends come back.

“Where were you, dude?” Aaron says. “We were like four feet back from the stage. So awesome.”

“I know,” I say. I look around one more time for Ellen as we all make our way out into the warm night and then to Erik’s Forester.

“Tom!” I hear a high voice behind me. I turn and see Ellen walking away from her friend group toward me. Under a street lamp I can see her better. She has brown hair and bangs and a round face.

“Hey,” I say, sort of breaking away from my friends as well. “There you are. You totally…vanished.”

“My friends wanted me with them since I basically dragged them here,” she says, laughing. Then, seeing my grave face, she adds, “Sorry though.”

“No problem.” I shake my head. Silence. “Do you want to have dinner with me?” I say quickly. “We could…talk more about…Girlpool,” I add, in what I hope sounds like an appealingly suggestive way.

“Yeah, of course, yeah,” she says. “Yeah.” She takes out her phone and hands it to me. “Put yourself in there.”

I do and then she texts me so I have her number. I add a new contact: Ellen. I look at the name on my phone and smile and then I look at the girl in front of me and it falters.

“Text me,” she says. “I have to go.”

“I will,” I say. In the backseat of Erik’s Forester, my thigh squished up against Derek’s, craft-beer-drunk and riding home, I tweet an innocuous Drake lyric.

                                                             * * *

That was last weekend. I texted her two days later and after some clutch icebreakers (“Hi it’s Samba Guy, the Girlpool guy from the St. Vincent show last weekend”) we made a plan to meet at a ramen place she knew about this coming Friday, A.K.A. tonight. I’m getting ready, putting on my brand new shoes, which arrived just in time, and––most importantly––taking an extra large dose of serum. I can’t think of anything worse than transforming in front of Ellen’s face on our very first date (not that I intend to ever let her see that happen ever). I pick out a pretty nice looking sweater that’s still casual enough for a first date but looks like I obviously put effort into my appearance. I borrow Erik’s Forester and I’m out the door. I play Run The Jewels to get me pumped up and then when I’m a block away from Ellen’s building I switch it to Girlpool to really set the mood. I pull head first into a huge spot (I’m a pretty bad parallel parker and I’m stressed enough as it is!) that’s luckily vacant and jump out of the car. I send her a text saying I’m outside. Twenty minutes later Ellen comes out onto the sidewalk wearing jeans and a green shirt with an interesting neck area and big necklace.

“Hey,” she says. “Sorry I wasn’t ready, and my friend’s were like freaking out.”

“Not a problem,” I say. I passed the twenty minutes catching up on some Stereogum: there’s a new Run the Jewels parody thing that big-name artists are getting involved with called “Meow the Jewels.” They’ve raised a bunch of money for it already on Kickstarter. It’s absurd, but that’s the point. It’s like a joke turned reality. “You look great.”

We drive to the ramen place. Ellen either doesn’t notice or doesn’t comment on Girlpool playing at a good volume in the car. I ask if she’s seen the Mad Men finale yet. She says she still needs to watch the last few seasons first. I smile to myself. There’s a strong smoky almost medicinal smell I can’t place coming off of her clothes. “That’s cool,” I say. “It was really good.” She’s on her phone for the rest of the car ride.

Inside the ramen place it’s packed and noisy and a stressed-out looking middle aged woman is seating people and taking down names for the waitlist. I tell Ellen I’ll go put our name in. It’s about a twenty-five minute wait. I come back to where Ellen is standing by the glass wall and stand next to her. “Twenty-five minutes, she said,” I say. “Want to wait?”

“Where else would we go?” All around us, seated and standing, are other couples. I don’t see anyone I recognize but I feel nervous and exposed. I have no idea what to say to Ellen. I wish dinner was over and I was at home.

“I don’t know,” I say. “We could wait outside?”

“Sure,” she says. We step outside, me keeping the door open as she walks out in front of me. Another couple comes in as I’m still holding the door. The girl knows Ellen.

“Hiiiii,” she says to Ellen. “What are you doing here? I can’t believe this, hi.”

“Heyyyyyyyy,” Ellen says. “How are you! What’s up, have you been here before?”

“Yeah, we come here like a lot,” the girl says, motioning to the guy, who is now talking the middle aged hostess. “It’s amazing.” I smile at her and look straight ahead. Ellen makes no mention of me. I’m still holding the door open. The girl is still sort of standing in the walkway, Ellen is on the sidewalk.

“What’re you doing later,” the girl asks.

“No idea,” Ellen says. “Why? Are you guys gonna be around?”

“Yeah girl,” she says. “It’s likely. Text me later.” She goes inside and walks to a table where the guy is already sitting, his jacket around the back of the chair, looking at his phone. He puts it down when the girl sits down. Ellen sees this happen. It occurs to me they take reservations.

“You should have made reservations,” Ellen says to me. “It is a Friday.”

Twenty minutes later we’re sitting at a small table in the humid back corner of the restaurant. The glass wall against our table is fogged with condensation. Ellen draws boobs in it. And then adds a shaft, turning it into a dick and balls.

“I’m glad we could do this,” I’m saying. “It’s great to see you again.”

“Yeah,” she says. “I didn’t think you’d text me.” I don’t know what this means. I try to change course.

“You listened to Girlpool lately?” I ask. Ellen looks at me for a moment, placing something.

“Not really,” she says finally, excruciatingly. Another pause. She seems to decide something else. “So what’d you do?”

“I work at a start-up,” I say. “It’s called Winyl, it like pairs drinks with the perfect music.”

Imperceptible interest registers on Ellen’s face. I continue: “Like what’s the best song to play while drinking this IPA, that kind of thing…”

“So what would you pair with this right now?” she says, pointing at her ice water.

“Well I’m not sure, I mean, the app uses like an algorithm. You either input the drink, or you let it listen to the music. It can pair it both ways.”

“Can I see your phone?” she asks abruptly. I hesitate. “I want to try it in here.”

“Oh, it’s not done yet. Like it’s not an app yet. I’m sort of helping out on a freelance basis.” Another long pause. I look up at her. I realize her eyes are green and not blue (the glow of her phone had thrown off their true color) and say, “Do you have Snapchat?”

“No,” she says. “I’m old-school.”

“Oh,” I say. “I respect that.” And then: “There’s a new Run the Jewels parody thing that big-name artists are getting involved with called ‘Meow the Jewels,’” I tell her. “They’ve raised a bunch of money for it already on Kickstarter. It’s absurd, but that’s the point. It’s like a joke turned reality.”

“That’s rad,” she says. “That’s actually rad.” I smile at her and she looks right at me. It feels as if all the most exciting parts of a new relationship have combined with all the ease and familiarity of an old friend. The effect is something like spiked hot chocolate: warm, comforting, intoxicating.

“Do you know who Lord Huron is?” she says. I feel her foot nudge mine.

                                                             * * *

After dinner, I’m feeling sick from the ramen and my face and head is sweaty. I pay the check and we get up slowly and walk outside, emerging into the cool and actually very pleasant night. A dog is barking somewhere and the sun is just setting over San Francisco. We’re walking to the car now and I’m not sure what’s going to happen. I’m much more comfortable now, but now that we’re back in motion, in a new and uncertain environment, I don’t know what the next step is supposed to be. I decide to say nothing and just see what happens. In the Forester we sit for a moment. I almost speak––wonder aloud what we should do––when Ellen asks, “Have you seen the new Game of Thrones yet? I still need to watch it. We could do that. I don’t want this night to end yet. My roommates have HBOGo.”

“I actually haven’t,” I lie. “That sounds awesome.” Ellen actually looks excited. I smile at her and start the car. She plugs her iPhone into the tape adapter and “I Love You, Honeybear” by Father John Misty starts playing. How sexy is that?

– Samba Guy, May 18, 2015