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#the thing about me is that i am always for the player not the team
larsnicklas · 7 months
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can i say something controversial.
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skrunksthatwunk · 9 months
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jumpscared by least favorite seasonal chore
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#I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST LEAVING IT THIS YEAR SINCE IT WAS SO LATE. FUCK THE GRASS IT'S SHITTY GRASS#it's almost xmas why did you not rake the yard while i was um. not around#IT SUCKS OKAY. I"M NOT A TEAM PLAYER#ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND MANDATORY POINTLESS YARDWORK#it hurts my back and my joints and it takes me forever and it's always stupid bright outside and i hate kicking the rakes and it's never#good enough because if i'm raking the yard it should be perfect right?? it always turns into a 3 day thing and the yard isn't even that big#we just all suck at it except for my dad so he spends the whole time being like well why don't you just do it this way. dad i CANT that's#why i'm doing it my way. it's shittier but it's Possible and yours is not. bruhgh i hate raking the yard sorry that's all#i am feeble and sore and i hate moving please don't make me do this#he's like why do you sit on the ground to scrape the leaves into the bags girl what else do you want me to do. i can barely do the dishes#without sitting sometimes and you want me to rake for 6 hours??? what?????#look i know this is mostly trivial but it sucks okay. fuck my stupid baka life#i have been exactly this bitter about such chores my whole life and im not stopping now. i hate being made to do stuff on a whim that hurts#me for an entire day when i wasn't expecting it okay. i feel like that's a normal response adults are allowed to have even though children#are not. something something children's autonomy etc#and honestly i just hate being in my yard doing manual labor in full view. you should not be able to see me moving around what ew gross#(<- super weird about being perceived doing anything physical) (<- hates being seen moving awkwardly and so anything but small practiced#movements are just. agh. unless they're silly and i can make them smoother but like exertion? No. oh my god i hate that)#shit like oh i don't wanna put a bra on bc that's uncomfy but what if my neighbors ogle me while they drive past i don't want that#just some gangly twink failing a basic task in the clumsiest way possible and fucking all their joints at the same time. sucks. hate#(<- man i don't even feel right EATING around people for the most part like. you want me to RAKE?? movement is a performance and you put me#up there with no rehearsal no script nothing just the wikipedia page for hamlet. i can't do this all of a sudden. what. what)#(<- i just. waughhUAGHH i hate it so so much i don't like it okay. for reasons that are yet to be diagnosed)#(<- no body language is natural to me so it must be practiced to feel natural AND YOURE PUTTING ME ON THE SPOT. IT FEELS WEIRD)#aughh. if i had the leaves on a table and a chair or something i'd be better. not great but better. but all the bending over and crouching#and scooping and getting leaves under my gloves and the scary scuttly bugs and scraping myself on the branches mixed in on accident i just#do not like it. gross#ugh at least now i have wireless earbuds. used to yank out my corded ones with the rakes pretty regularly and Oh Boy Did That Not Improve M#Situation There like. whewwww#and my dad's always like hey i know we're starting late (it's past noon here) but ummm i'd really appreciate it if we could really push
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glassesmcfancyhair · 1 year
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When you realize that all your “skills” aren’t considered marketable or profitable so you think about killing yourself for the convenience.
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hyunin · 2 years
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.
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exopelagic · 8 months
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A list of things I’m frustrated by:
#1. my right skate won’t fucking tighten right it’s being stiff so I can’t skate properly again. they don’t fit right but I can’t do shit now#2. I’m not enjoying ice hockey as much right now bc of that and the people being. not annoying but. I’m disconnected from them#3. feeling disconnected from everything because of the residual barriers I put up but also the ones are just There bc of outside forces.#4. of them the disconnect that comes from not like loud music/crowds/drinking when you’re at uni.#5. the fact that the friends I have most access to I largely don’t like that much bc half are straight and southern and rich and annoying#6. the fact that a different group of friends basically just stopped talking to me and honestly didn’t really want me around that much anywa#7. the fact I don’t care that much about that. any of that. and I’m not Cool with not talking to them anymore but it’s just Happened yknow#8. the fact that’s a significant portion of the queer people I know here. and the others aren’t people I’m anywhere near as close to.#9. the way it’s my third year here and a bunch of people are graduating and opportunities to meet new people went to hell like two years ago#10. i Can meet new people and in fact am even now but everything is so much effort#11. how that’s probably how it’s gonna be the rest of my life bc being an adult sucks. I’ll get Maybe one more shot at meeting a bunch of#people quickly if I do a phd and move but that’s hellish for other reasons and I lose a lot in doing that. but I lose a lot no matter what#12. graduating sucks and so many of my friends are doing it this year. I’m not but next year will suck bc of flatmates and everyone missing#13. feeling on the edge of hockey friends bc they’re fucking hockey players and make dumb fucking jokes. and how I can’t do that#14. anxious isolated gay boy I was never gonna be cool with that and there was never any way I could’ve been on the team#15. the fact I decided not to go for the team partly bc of that and the fact I dont regret that decision. bc I like ice hockey but I couldnt#17. knowing the answers to most of my problems bc I’m at That point where I have the self awareness and maturity to some extent to see#exactly what’s going on and what’s up with it and the right way to go about things. and still feeling the fucking feelings anyway#18. the weird fucking position I occupy both w queerness and the north/south thing weirdly where I’m gay+northern + surrounded by Not#and neither feel like they belong to me. distinctly Other but not in the right way and both sides see that. always a little off#19. being socially aware enough to see exactly where things are awkward or done badly but not knowing in the moment how to make it Not#20. the way the shit The Asshole said abt my anxiety has stuck with me so much and I still think abt it all the time#21. the way he was my fucking first. a lot. and then did That to me and there’s been nobody since and that’s fine but see point 17#22. the way shit is slow to fade both with Him and current guy (very different things that are fading) even though both are fucking dumb#23. current guy being the fourth and should know bettering and knowing that’s bullshit too and I hate it. gonna start biting#24. not having the means time or opportunity to meet other people instead. and feeling dumb abt wanting to. and abt not doing some stuff#25. the fact this list is long enough that I’m gonna run out of tags and there’s still more but it’s 4am and I’m done#luke.txt#I’ll be fine once I’ve slept on it all. I should do something abt this probably but idk what right now and I should sleep mostly so. night!!
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thehauntedetheral · 2 months
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hi, how are you doing? If is not a bother can you make a yandere ex fuckboy x insecure reader, she is insecure of his past and the girls he used to stay with before they start dating and is terrified of him cheating on her, that bothers the yandere a lot and he goes to the extreme to prove to her that he doesn't want anyone else.
Hello I am doing well and hope you are doing well too. I hope you like this work.
Yandere Ex Fuckboy X Insecure Reader
Requests are open!
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• You were always on edge thinking that your boyfriend is with some other girl cheating on you when he is not with you.
• You love your boyfriend a lot. And he has been an amazing boyfriend to you all the time being caring, protective, sweet, understanding towards you. But his past. His past always haunts you and makes you feel insecure.
• In the past before you two got into the relationship yan was the Fuckboy of your college. Girls always surrounding him and being attracted to him like a moth to a flame as he was tall, good looking, rich and extremely good in bed with his smooth as butter flirting skills and charming personality.
• Some even say that he slept with more than half of the girls in campus.
• But after meeting you this man gets changed for forever. He has never felt something so strong like this for anyone ever.
• He tries his best to court you. Begging to you on his knees to make him your boyfriend. This man becomes a simp when it comes to you.
• But you ignored him knowing his infamous Fuckboy image.
• To get your attention he follows you around like a lost puppy, Spoiling you with flowers, meals, coffee anything you want just please let him be your boyfriend and let him love you.
• Frustrated by his constant chaos you finally give him a chance and say yes.
• He tries his best to be the best boyfriend for you not wanting to disappoint you on the chance you have given him. And true to his words he is a really good boyfriend to you.
• You don't know that this is the first relationship yan ever had. Yes he slept around a lot but never dated anyone. You are the first.
• When he gets to know his love, his darling is feeling insecure due to his past he does all the possible ways to show you that he belongs only to you and no one.
• Wearing tshirts which have things like this written all over it " My girlfriend is hotter than you" or "I love my girlfriend" while walking around the campus showing everyone. If his tshirt doesn't have this written on it then it definitely will be a photo of you printed all over his tshirt.
• Wears the handmade bracelet you made for him 24/7 not taking it off ever.
• Always wears your hair ties on his wrist in case you need it and to show people he is already taken by his beautiful girlfriend.
• Is one of the best player of the college's football team and whenever he earns a goal during the matches he dedicates his goals to you pointing at you and screaming "I love you y/n" infront of the whole crowd.
• By the way he changes his jersey number to your birthday date number showing his jersey back to everyone.
• When a girl from his past approaches him he straight up says "I have a beautiful girlfriend whom I love to death so please leave"
• This man is so in love, committed and loyal to you that it's sickly disgusting for others to watch.
• Everyone thinks you have done some kind of witchcraft on him because he has suddenly became the most loving boyfriend for you from the college's Fuckboy.
• This man would do anything for you to never be insecure again that he would even say this "We can get engaged or even better married if it puts your mind to an ease y/n."
Meanwhile reader : "........"
• This man would kill himself before even thinking about cheating on you and hurting you. The thought of some another girl other than you now makes him nauseous let alone even think about touching them.
• Yan is utterly whipped and in love with you. He would even bring the fucking world infront of your knees if you want.
Let me know what you think about this fic.
Requests are open !
For more yandere reading
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astonmartinii · 11 months
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big reputation | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x fem reader
they may have a big reputation and they may be end game, but sometimes you need a push from your girlfriend to enter your reputation era
(also no hate to vasseur and sainz, it's just the way the fic had to go)
MASTERLIST | TIPS
f1newsandgossip
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liked by user1, user2 and 13,209 others
f1newsandgossip: after ferrari's continued chaos and inability to get anything right it seems, do you think charles leclerc will stick around and renew his contract?
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user3: i love him and i love ferrari but if he wants any shot of winning a championship he has to leave
user4: i would die to see him at red bull or even mercedes
user5: would he want to be a second driver though?
user4: babes they treat him like he's the second driver at ferrari at least there he'd have a competent car and team
user6: yes ! he has to leave, no one at that team respects him anymore
user7: he should've left a long time ago but this season has to be the final nail in the coffin
user8: all he does it protect ferrari and ferrari don't even give a shit about him it's actually sad
user9: they don't even protect him from his teammate and his teammate's parents being rude about him in the media
user10: for real the man needs to stop being a team player and tell him how it is
user11: i feel so so bad for him because his childhood dream is turning into a nightmare and through no fault of his own
user12: i know y/n is absolutely seething and the only reason she hasn't said anything yet is because charles is so in love with the team that he won't say anything bad about them
user13: i need her to give him a lil slap around to get his head in gear
yourusername
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liked by alexalbon, charles_leclerc and 1,309,556 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: you and me got a big reputation
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user14: me being delusional: OMG THIS MEANS CHARLES IS FINALLY ENTERING HIS REPUTATION ERA
user15: and then we remember rep is an album about love first and revenge second :(
charles_leclerc: is this a taylor swift reference?
yourusername: yes it is !! i knew you were actually listening when i gave you the full eras breakdown
charles_leclerc: i'd listen to you talk about anything
yourusername: even the things you don't want to hear?
charles_leclerc: i think it has gotten to that point, yes.
user16: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN ^^ ???
alexalbon: when will i be freed from the shackles of having to take cute photos of you two
yourusername: NEVER
charles_leclerc: is a seat on my jet not enough?
alexalbon: YOUR JET? i have clearly missed something here
maxverstappen1: alex is always free to fly air max (MY jet, factually)
yourusername: when did this become a dick measuring contest? (charles would win, you can all go home)
maxverstappen1: i don't want you to see my dick
charles_leclerc: i should think not verstappen
alexalbon: i don't know how i hang out with you morons
user17: gosh y/n is so sexy
user18: i am allowing myself to live in delusion and after the shitshow that was austin, y/n is initiating the reputation era and charles will either give ferrari hell or actually leave
user19: idk that man might be completely in love with y/n but he's even more in love with ferrari
charles_leclerc: nothing compares to her
user20: WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?
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charles_leclerc
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liked by georgerussell63, yourusername and 1,204,509 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: hola mexico! can't wait for the weekend to start
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user22: post your team or car? no. post a random picture of your girlfriend? yes.
user23: he should post an explanation as to why his gf was being wined and dined by christian horner
yourusername: ZOOWEE MAMA
charles_leclerc: excuse me?
yourusername: instagram would ban me if i really said what i think
charles_leclerc: oh i'm blushing
yourusername: but always above all you are a cutie patootie
user24: i see posts like this and i wonder why do they always have break up rumours if they are this in love?
user19: bestie we simply cannot be believing everything we read, especially when it comes from a certain spanish paper
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user24: wait what is this supposed to mean?
user19: any "insider source" at ferrari that has anti-leclerc info is usually the sainz family lol that's why other than ferrari being clowns in general charles needs to get the fuck out
pierregasly: rivalling me with just how much you post y/n
charles_leclerc: ummmm you've met her, and you wouldn't?
charles_leclerc: WAIT don't answer that
user25: so are we just ignoring that y/n was at dinner with CHRISTIAN HORNER?
user26: the red bull!charles dream a bit more feasible now and i am appropriately feral
user27: obsessed with how he's just ignoring the horner thing
user28: i am similarly obsessed with how the media are spinning this to an affair between y/n and horner LMAO
yourusername: he made us split the bill after ordering a really spenny wine :/
user29: I'M CRYING
user30: horner's like if i don't get a driver out of this dinner i will be having a nice glass of wine he's so real for that
scuderiaferrari: let's get it 💪
user31: GET A JOB. LEAVE HER ALONE
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user32: lol she's so tired of being subtle
user33: TELL THEM SIS
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f1
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liked by yourusername, redbullracing and 1,450,667 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
f1: BREAKING: charles leclerc signs for red bull racing for 2024 on a four year contract
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user36: they're MUGGY for the first picture omg
user37: SOMEONE CALL THE EMERGENCY SERVICES FOR ME I CAN'T BREATHE
user38: wait so like who do i have to thank for finally making this happen?
user39: this has y/n y/ln written all over it - the dinner with horner finally makes sense
pierregasly: WHAT ?????????
user40: HE'S FINDING OUT AT THE SAME TIME AS US? DID ANYONE KNOW?
user41: THERE WILL BE NO EXPLANATION JUST REPUTATION
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user42: okay since y/n and charles have referenced the reputation album so much during this whole fiasco .... taylor swift x charles leclerc piano ballad collab when?
user43: so this is il predestinato who has betrayed his team and completely blindsided him? this is why carlos has always been the superior driver
liked by carlossainz55
user44: not carlos liking this comment
yourusername: i wish he would say something with his chest, always hiding behind his parents and the spanish media ... yeah we know about that and we're no longer under that stupid contract so i can and will say this all to your face
user45: HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTT
carlossainz55: you got the move and attention you wanted stop trying to drag me into it
yourusername: babe there's a difference between you and i, you create fake cheating rumours to try and shake your teammate while your PR team is fulltime constantly having to threaten legal action over you not being able to keep it in your pants
user46: ERM QUEEN THEY STILL HAVE RACES TOGETHER
redbullracing: anyways.... WELCOME TO THE TEAM CHARLES
user47: admin what is going on?
redbullracing: i have no clue but as soon as that man is in a navy race suit i will get the tea trust
user48: so real of you
maxverstappen1: ☕️
user49: LMAO KING
yourusername: i have a feeling we might get on (no more inchidents though)
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yourusername
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liked by danielricciardo, charles_leclerc and 1,344,099 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: they said i did something bad, why does it feel so good?
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user51: momma does not play oh my
taylorswift: proud 🖤 🐍
yourusername: approved by our lord and saviour, thanks mother
charles_leclerc: do you need a pianist?
taylorswift: i'm sure we can work something out
landonorris: ^^ this is so unfair i thought i was the swiftie on the grid :(
danielricciardo: my rendition of our song says otherwise
user52: she really said FUCK FERRARI AND FUCK YOU TOO
user53: as she should
charles_leclerc: i'm not a playboy but i do LOVE YOU
yourusername: i love you even more
charles_leclerc: NUH UH I LOVE YOU MORE
yourusername: i would literally fight every person on earth for your hand
charles_leclerc: oh wow ... mark me scared AND horny
alexalbon: okay that's ENOUGH
user54: i'm so glad she shook him out of the ferrari daze he. might finally have a chance at the championship now
user55: i'd be afraid that ferrari may build a good car next year but then i remember it's ferrari LOL
user56: so y/n mentioned under the f1 post about a contract? was she not able to say anything about ferrari while with charles?
yourusername: yes. i was not able to say anything they considered negative. many times when i expressed disappointment in how charlie has been treated i was reprimanded by ferrari and was banned from the paddock for weekends following any statements
user57: wtf that is crazy ??? makes sense as to why charles always blames himself when it was clearly a pit/strategy issue
yourusername: ferrari have attempted to keep charlie under wraps since his second season at the team. they were worried about him becoming outspoken like seb. this goes all the way down to his music which they tried to prevent him from releasing. i'm glad he'll be given the chance to show his talents next season
user58: thank the lord charles finally left. this is insane. the reputation era was well and truly needed.
maxverstappen1: kelly wants to know whether now you'll be wag teammates that you can raid each other's wardrobes?
yourusername: of course !!! i can't wait to see her more often coffee dates are a must ( + p of course)
charles_leclerc: i'm gonna beat your ass at padel i WILL be the padel king at red bull
maxverstappen1: i will show NO MERCY
yourusername: maybe this was a bad idea ...
charles_leclerc
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,332,909 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: it saddens me to my core to be leaving the team i always dreamed of racing for and winning with, but there comes a point in your career when it's time to put your ambitions above tradition. ferrari has always been the dream for me, but the last couple of years have been a nightmare. i never thought i'd be put in a position where i'd have feelings like these about the team i love, but the constant disrespect, betrayal and the treatment of my loved ones leaves me no other choice. despite this sad ending, i am looking forward to new opportunities at red bull, racing alongside an old friend and under a competent leadership. finally, thank you to y/n and my family for being there for me during this time despite the way we were all treated. i know i will get questions, but there will be no explanation, just reputation.
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user59: he really left comments open so we could drag ferrari
user60: and drag i shall do... that man despite the absolute tomfoolery got that shitbox on the podium and NONE OF YOU SHOWED UP
user61: for real, they're out here trying to show charles as petty but then KEEP PROVING HIS POINT LOL
yourusername: i am so unbelievably proud of you. i know this was a hard choice but it's the one you had to make. today and every other day i will always be there to support you even if no one else is
user62: subtle DRAG
charles_leclerc: i love you to the moon and to saturn
yourusername: you're my invisible string
yourusername: also this is what i mean when i say reputation is a love story with a side of shade
user63: i know binotto let out a sigh of relief that he dodged this shit storm
yourusername: that fraud is SO lucky i was under contract while he was there otherwise i'd drag his ass so bad he'd be bald
charles_leclerc: i don't know how he made it out of silverstone alive after the whole finger wagging saga, i had to hold her back
sebastianvettel: i hate to say i told you so .....
charles_leclerc: SEB ????? BUT I'M DOING IT NOW, I'M NOT WASTING IT (tell christian to give me the better strategies i know you're still the o.g golden boy)
maxverstappen1: you know i can see this right?
christianhorner: and me?
charles_leclerc: @yourusername baby please take the fall for me
yourusername: I COMMENTED THAT
maxverstappen1: you guys really aren't slick... you're lucky i already love you two
christianhorner: i feel like i need to brief PR already
yourusername: if it makes it any better i'm a great baker and very generous
redbullracing: WE'LL TAKE IT
user64: @netflix make sure there's a camera in that garage at ALL TIMES
pierregasly: proud of you calmar, i hope this works out better for you than it did for me
yourusername: NO ROOM FOR PITY PARTY HERE SIR
yourusername: wait that was rude, we love you pierre
charles_leclerc: thank you pierre
pierregasly: ummmmmm tell y/n she can't say that ???
charles_leclerc: she made me see the light kinda owe her everything rn, so sorry?
christianhorner: definitely brief PR
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note: teehee here it is. MY GOD my writing block has been insane - i also went on a trip to london and got horrendously drunk and made AWFUL decisions. alas, i hope you guys enjoy this and the race later !!
EDIT: I AM SO FUCKING ANNOYED AT THIS RACE ONE DAY WHERE CHARLES IS NOT FUVKED OVER IS ALL I ASK WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THIS
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cherriegyuu · 1 month
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so high school | kmg | part 1
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pairing: hockey player mingyu x f!reader  genre: smut (in later part), fluff, a bit of angst, bad attempt at comedy word count: 8.8k summary: when you’re suddenly thrown in Mingyu’s direction, you have no choice but to stay by his side, and maybe it’s not as bad as you think playlist: click here a/n: i wanted to write a story that was light, summeryish. it was based off of taylor swift’s song so high school (i’m not that creative with names), i wanted to write that sort of cute romance we all just love. i truly hope you like it, this one is precious to me. thank you to @joonsytip for helping me with this one. please, remember to comment and reblog, it does mean the world to me and i would love to know your opnions.
< part two >
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If there was one thing you hated about college, it was having to choose electives. For starters, you really didn’t want to be there. You were a good student because you had no choice, not because you absolutely loved college — not that your major was boring and you hated everything about it, but it really did seem like a universal experience to hate your chosen major at some point in college. But the problem was that taking the courses related to your major was hard enough as it was, you didn’t want to have to worry about subjects that might or might not add to what you were studying. Of course, you always tried to choose something that had at least a minimum to do with your major — Art History.
But there were times, like the previous semester when you procrastinated too much to choose one, that it simply wasn’t possible, and you had to put up with classes on Cultural Management. At first, you thought it would be geared towards galleries and the like, but it was something much more specific about public cultural heritage and that wasn’t what you wanted. At least the subject was easy enough. Just reading a few pages of Kira’s notes and listening to half of the lectures was enough to get you through with a high grade.
Trying to be a little smarter, and do something you actually enjoyed doing, you signed up for the semester’s classes as soon as they opened. You were already sitting in front of your computer when the clock struck 10 am. You chose a class that all of your classmates, or at least the ones you talked to, were interested in doing: Model Making.
It was something you enjoyed doing when you were younger. Your parents knew that if you simply disappeared or were too quiet — aka you weren’t yelling at Jeonghan — you’d be in your room surrounded by modeling clay, chopsticks, glue, brushes, and paint, or whatever materials you were using at the time. 
However, all of your dreams were shattered when you ran into Kira at the campus entrance. 
“You know, the teacher for this class is crazy. Your life is going to be hell” was like a cold shower.
After that, it was as if everywhere you went, people were purposefully talking about the subject, about how the teacher was absolutely crazy and that getting a good grade with her was almost impossible, and how she “seems to take a sick pleasure in failing students.” So when the day of class finally arrived, the first of the next six hellish months, you dragged yourself into the classroom. You chose the seat furthest away from her, hidden behind a student, and did your best to stay as out of sight as possible. 
The guy sitting in front of you turned around. He was smiling widely. You weren’t sure if he was trying to be friendly or what. 
“Do you know if what everyone’s saying is true?” 
There was something about him that was familiar. You obviously knew who he was, it was no secret. Everywhere you went, people were either whispering about him or there was a picture of him and the other guys on the team taped to the wall.
Kim Mingyu, star of the ice hockey team. The youngest to become captain, top scorer, the big sensation who would lead the university to the long-awaited championship. All that blah blah blah about the chosen athlete, and the latest savior of the nation.
So yes, you knew who he was, there was no way you couldn't know. But at that specific moment, while he was sitting in front of you, his body turned in the chair at a strange angle because he was obviously too big for that tiny chair, there was something about him that was strangely familiar.
"That the teacher is crazy?" he nodded, his eyebrows slightly arched and his lips almost forming a pout "I haven't heard anyone say otherwise, so I have no choice but to believe it."
You lowered your eyes and focused on the lit screen of your cell phone, which showed a new message from your brother. You didn't look away because you wanted to know what Jeonghan wanted, as far as you were concerned his message would only be read at the end of the day, if that. You didn't want to keep looking at Mingyu when you felt that everyone in the classroom was looking at you.
You knew it wasn't exactly true, there was no way an entire class, full of students talking to each other, could be looking at you at the same time as if you were doing something scandalous or even remotely wrong. But you knew there were a few people, and that was more than enough. It was a very familiar feeling, one you preferred not to revisit.
Even though you completely ignored Mingyu's presence or his gaze on you, he still hadn't turned around. Not even when the teacher entered the room and everyone fell silent.
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The problem with being a child who didn’t have many experiences is that you become a fearful person. Everything seems big, larger than life, and sometimes everything seems infinite and far beyond reach. It’s a much easier choice to retreat into that familiar corner and pretend the world outside simply doesn’t exist. The bubble you created for yourself was small and admittedly, sometimes suffocating, but it was also comforting.
But everything can change when you meet people who aren’t aware of that bubble, or who didn’t create those spaces for themselves. They weren’t trapped inside it.
One class was more than enough to start a crack in your perfectly intact bubble. A selective introvert, as you liked to say. For a loud hockey player when he was surrounded by his friends, Seokmin was strangely shy.
When the teacher was choosing the pairs, you closed your eyes, praying to anyone who would listen not to pair you with a bad student, someone who wouldn't do anything and you would have to do all the work alone. The prayer, or whatever it was, was not heard because the teacher decided it would be a great idea to pair you and Seokmin. Maybe you were under the wrong impression, falling into the old suspicions and stereotypes, but you doubted very much that you would be able to get any kind of help from Seokmin.
And to be quite honest, after a bad experience with a group mate, to the point of ending up at the police station, because the guy simply couldn't accept the fact that you taking his name off the work was completely his fault and you simply didn't think it was fair that you did everything alone and he still got a good grade, you were okay with doing everything on your own. You were sure that if you opened your email, and clicked on your spam box because God was a witness to the number of emails you had received from that idiot, there would probably still be some unread emails from him, bragging that even with your “attempt” to jeopardize his education, he had managed to get a good enough grade to pass the class. 
Despite everything, Seokmin was nice and seemed interested enough, although a little lost, but maybe a little push in the right direction would be enough. 
“I took this class because I thought it would be easy,” he said laughing, a little shy, “I guess I was wrong.” 
You nodded, absentmindedly turning the page of your notebook with the notes you had made. 
“I took it because I like the idea of ​​building models.”
The classroom door opened with a bang, slamming against the wall. Everyone turned to him, some girls laughing. Mingyu was obviously late, his hair still wet from the shower, his backpack inside out on his shoulder, his shirt completely wrinkled as if it had just come out of a cow’s mouth. The teacher stood up and walked towards him slowly, her arms crossed over her chest.
“He’s screwed.” Seokmin laughed softly, or as softly as he could.
The teacher didn’t have a welcoming look in her eyes, if anything she seemed to be glaring at Mingyu, and not even the best smile he could throw in her direction would make a difference. In addition to being crazy, the teacher was also apparently known for not accepting tardiness.
It was impossible to look away as Mingyu tried, without any success, to open his mouth to explain, but the teacher wouldn’t let him say a single word. You and Seokmin suppressed a laugh when the teacher looked in the direction where she thought the noise was coming from before turning back to Mingyu, who seemed more desperate by the second. He looked lost standing in front of the older woman, his head lowered like a child who had misbehaved and was listening to a lecture.
Finally, the teacher dismissed him with a wave of her hands and turned back to her desk, completely ignoring Mingyu. He finally turned back to the desks, his eyes scanning the space before finally settling on Seokmin. Or… on you? There was no reason to believe he was looking at you, none at all. When Mingyu smiled, you went back to looking at your notes, flipping the pages almost compulsively, looking for anything and nothing.
You had no idea why your heart was behaving like that, beating almost animalistically inside your chest, or why you felt a single drop of sweat run down your spine — despite the air conditioning being on and you feeling cold. You could have sworn you could hear Mingyu’s footsteps going up the stairs, despite the sound of the students’ conversations around you being obviously much louder.
“At least I got something good for being late today.”
Mingyu pulled out the empty chair next to you and sat down, his knee bumping against yours. You flinched a little and moved away, making yourself closer to Seokmin.
“Sorry,” you said to Seokmin and turned to Mingyu. “Could you…?”
You waved your hand to make him move away. He looked confused for a second until he pushed the chair further away from you. On the other side, Seokmin covered his mouth, trying to stifle a laugh, while Mingyu glared at him.
“The teacher who chose your group?” Seokmin asked, still trying to suppress a laugh.
“She just said to sit with whoever wasn’t already in a trio”
You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Great, you were stuck with two jocks who had probably hit their heads on the ice so much that their brains had turned to jelly in their early twenties.
“What do we have to do?”
“Build 3 models based on architectural periods.” When Mingyu widened his eyes, you added, “It’s the entire semester’s work. We don’t even have to come to class anymore, just the last one to hand it in.”
You started gathering the few materials you had taken out of your bag. The notebook and pen quickly disappeared into what Jeonghan called a black hole. “What goes in there never comes out again. If you look hard enough, you’ll find a wallet I lost in high school.”
“Look, I know I’m going to do this alone. I'll find a way to let you know the periods I chose and the artists and you guys study for the presentation.” 
You stood up, pushing the chair back with your knees, making a lot more noise than expected, which in turn made most of the people turn to see what was happening, including the teacher. 
“Wait,” Mingyu said, holding the strap of your bag. 
Not that you could get out of there anyway, he was between you and any possibility of leaving. But you thought he would get out of the way if he saw that you wanted to leave.
“I'll help, it's my job too,” with his free hand, he pointed to Seokmin behind you. “Ours, actually.” 
Despite the sincere look on his face, you laughed.
“Look, I don't want to offend you guys, okay? But the three of us know that won't happen. There will always be a practice, a game, a party, something that will stop you from doing your part of the work. I don’t mind doing it alone, it won’t be the first time, and considering I still have two more semesters to go, it won’t be the last. It’s okay, really.”
Mingyu stood up and for a moment you were sure he was going to get out of your way, but somehow he managed to block your path even more. You couldn’t help but wonder if he had always been this tall and wide. When he was around the other players it didn’t seem like it, but him standing in front of you…
“I said we’ll help” 
He took his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it, turning the device towards you.
“You know, your hands are huge, and this is a very delicate job” What exactly were you talking about?
“He’s more skilled than you can imagine,” Seokmin said. 
Once again, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. The teacher was definitely crazy, and it seemed like she had some kind of personal vendetta against you. Or was it a curse cast by Jeonghan for staining his white shirts? Whatever it was, it was a problem that, at the moment, had no obvious solution.
“If I fail this class because of you two idiots, maybe one of you will lose a hand.” You snatched the phone from Mingyu’s hand, dialed your number, and quickly handed it back. “Maybe both of you”
You put your hand on Mingyu’s shoulder and pushed him back. You tried your best to avoid any kind of contact, but it was the only solution you could find to pass.
“It’s not a matter of life or death, you know?” he said, laughing.
“I’ve never failed in my life, and I’m not going to start now.”
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Mingyu pushed the door open with perhaps a little more force than necessary. He wasn't angry, but he wasn't happy either, a strange feeling somewhere in between that he didn't like very much.
That first day he had seen you in class was like he had been transported back to high school. He could almost hear you saying, in the most disinterested tone in the world, "I've been waiting for you for two hours, could we please go home?" At that time he had also felt invisible to your eyes.
But so many years later, in that classroom, he thought you would recognize him. Mingyu thought, as naive as it may seem, that despite your disinterest at the time, at least you would know who he was.
Of all the people he could meet in that class, you were the last one that ever crossed his mind. It had been years since he had last seen you, since Jeonghan's last game, when he was crowned champion for the third time - an unprecedented feat until that moment. Mingyu had even tried to beat that record, but his runner-up position in the third year had prevented him from doing so. 
He had gotten used to seeing you from afar, always the unreachable sister of his captain, who always seemed to be much more interested in the books you carried around with you than in anything else. 
The truth was that you had never even directed a word in Mingyu's direction. Besides Jeonghan, he had only seen you talk to one other person, Seungcheol. It had never been clear to him if it was by choice or if it was because Jeonghan always said you were off-limits. Maybe it was somewhere in between. 
However, when you entered the room, looking for an empty chair, Mingyu expected you to recognize him, even though so many years had passed. When you walked up the stairs and seemed to be heading towards him, Mingyu, like a silly teenager, expected you to at least greet him. But you walked right past him as if he wasn't even there. 
Even so, he tried to talk to you. Something about the teacher being crazy and the look in your eyes said that you couldn't wait for him to shut up and look straight ahead again.
After that, it was like he saw you everywhere, and believe him, he wasn't looking for you. In the café that opened on the other side of the campus, in the library, when he went to return a book, in the hallway of the building, on the lawn. Mingyu spent five years without having any kind of contact with you and, suddenly, you were everywhere.
He chose to see it as a divine sign. As if the guy up there was saying "Now is your chance". And then, as if all these signs weren't enough, he was given the chance to do an assignment with you, almost like a gift.
"The door didn't do anything to you," Seokmin said laughing.
"Do you want to be the door?" 
Maybe the divine signal was broken, maybe the guy up there was messing with him because in less than 5 minutes you managed to extinguish any and all excitement Mingyu could have about doing the assignment with you. All you had to do was open your mouth.
“Dude, she just doesn’t remember you” Seokmin laughed again, having a little too much fun with the whole situation “If you say, ‘hi, I was your brother’s teammate’, she’ll still not remember you, but maybe she’ll be less hostile”
Mingyu highly doubted that was the case. There was a rumor that you hated everything and anything that had to do with hockey, your patience was less than zero. Jeonghan was the king of the ice, the best the sport could produce. You were the ice princess without ever having even put on a pair of skates – or so the gossip said. 
“It doesn’t bother me that she doesn’t remember me” It did bother him, but he wouldn’t admit it “It bothers me that she thinks I’m stupid”
Usually, under completely normal circumstances, Mingyu would even prefer to be seen as stupid and without anything in his head. It was easier, it prevented people from creating any kind of expectation about him. Strangely, he wanted you to see him as intelligent.
“You’re a bit contradictory, aren’t you? You’ve spent the last 3 years cultivating the image of a dumb athlete, who gets good grades by pure luck, despite the almost impossible subjects, but now you want her to think you’re smart”
“I didn’t know you knew how to use the word contradictory”
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You stared at the lit screen of your cell phone. The unknown number was glowing and the inviting green button was almost begging you to answer the call. It was already the third time he had called and it would also be the third time you had ignored him.
“You know, it won’t hurt if you answer his call,” Kira said beside you, but she also knew that trying to convince you was a losing game.
Exactly 11 days had passed since the fateful class that had put you in a group with Seokmin and Mingyu. While you had no direct problems with either of them, besides them being hockey players, Mingyu’s insistence irritated you in a way that didn’t make much sense — not even to you. You should have felt relieved that he wanted to do the work, and that he was interested in participating. But the truth is that you knew how this worked, you had been in that situation before and hadn’t had the best experience.
Maybe you were a little too hard on him, it's true, but it's like the old saying goes: a scalded cat fears cold water.
“I want to keep as far away from him as possible.”
Kira rolled her eyes for what seemed like the twentieth time. She understood, to some extent, your dislike for players and also knew that a lot of it came from your brother, but in the case of Mingyu, specifically, you were definitely going too far.
“Look, the rumors are that he's a good student, actually. Always with high grades.” Kira tried to argue.
You knew the rumor well, even before you were put in the same group, in fact, much to your chagrin, Mingyu had chosen to be in the same group as you. That helped a lot with the huge reputation he had around the college. Handsome, athletic, good student. But you didn't believe it for a minute.
You didn’t know if Mingyu really had any good grades, but if he did, you were sure he hadn’t gotten them in the most… fairway.
“And he’s not unpleasant to look at at all.”
It was your turn to roll your eyes at him. Yes, Mingyu was gorgeous, breathtaking, the kind of guy that made you wonder if he was even real. You had eyes and they worked just fine, you didn’t need Kira to remind you that he was handsome. Saying Mingyu was handsome was like saying the sky was blue, obvious, and expected.
“You know I don’t mess with athletes.”
Finally, Mingyu had given up on the call, but that didn’t mean he had given up completely. Your phone only had a few seconds of respite before the screen lit up again, but this time with a ton of messages.
Unknown - 11:32
hi, it's mingyu
Unknown - 11:32
again
Unknown - 11:33
answer me, I want to talk about the project
Unknown - 11:34
you said you want to do it alone, but it's not going to happen, you know? I can't leave my grande in the hands of a complete stranger
Unknown - 11:35
I see you with your phone in your hand, take my call or reply to my texts
You lifted your head so quickly that you felt a twinge in your neck.
"Shit"
You looked around the cafe, trying to find Mingyu, but most of the tables were empty and none of the people standing in line looked remotely like him. You brought your face closer to the glass, trying to find the tall, broad figure, outside, and still didn't see anyone who could be mistaken for him.
yn - 11:37
I could report you for stalking
Unknown - 11:37
crime: wanting to do a college assignment
yn - 11:37
following me around, calling me non-stop, texting me. It could be considered stalking, yes
Unknown - 11:38
again, crime: wanting to do a school project
Unknown - 11:38
also, I wasn’t following you, I just happened to see you
yn - 11:38
I already said I'll do it alone
Unknown - 11:39
and I already said it won't happen, so if you could tell me your plan on how to do it, that would be great
“We have to admit, he's persistent”
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Mingyu's messages became common and also at the most random moments possible. You were sure that the only time he hadn't sent a text was when he was at the game last Friday. You knew this because you had watched the game, with the computer with the sound turned down so that Jeonghan wouldn't suspect anything. 
You hated to admit it, but he was good at what he did. Dared to say it was even glorious. It was hard to believe that a man of that size, so wide, could infiltrate the smallest spaces and score the most unbelievable goals possible. He and Seokmin together were almost magical. They still couldn't compare to the duo of Jeonghan and Seungcheol, but that was already a very high level to reach. 
Mingyu had given up on sending you texts only about work, not that you had answered any of them, but he also started asking about your course, inviting you and Kira to go to one of his games – you still wondered how he had found out about your friendship since all of your social media profiles were locked and so were Kira's.
You had to agree with Kira, he was persistent. You could even say tireless. If you were him, you would probably have given up a long time ago, choosing to let the crazy guy do the work alone. But Mingyu was nowhere near giving up. You knew this because every time you miraculously ran into Mingyu, you had to run away from him, practically having to run away from him at some point.
It worked very well for a week until one day he simply appeared in front of you. You were distracted, your eyes glued to your phone. Jeonghan was gliding across the ice with skill when the player from the other team hit him hard, his body flying before falling to the ice. You felt the air get stuck in your lungs until he stood up, clearly irritated by what had happened. You felt like laughing when you saw the name on the other player's shirt, the one who had pushed Jeonghan. Choi. Best friends in real life, rivals on the ice.
“What are you looking at so focused?” a voice said next to him.
You felt like your heart was going to jump out of your chest as you tried to lock your phone and put it back in the bag. You wished you had been more graceful in the whole situation, to look less like someone who had been caught red-handed doing something they shouldn't have.
“Jeez, do you have no manners?” your voice came out louder than expected, causing some people around him to turn to see what was happening.
Beside you, Mingyu smiled, pleased with himself for having gotten some reaction beyond furrowed eyebrows and a look of disgust.
“Were you running away from me?” he raised his hand and corrected himself, “Not right now because you clearly had no idea I was here, but in general.” 
You rolled your eyes and quickened your pace. You didn’t really have anywhere to go or anything to do, there were still 50 minutes until your next class and there was no time to run home and hide. Would it be too pathetic to hide in the bathroom and wait for him to leave? With your luck, he would be waiting outside, even if it meant missing a class. 
“Why would I do that?” 
Mingyu crossed his arms over his chest. For the first time in your life, you wished someone was ugly, devoid of any kind of muscles or attractive qualities. You wished he was ugly, terrible to look at. You wished the sun wouldn’t make his skin shine, you wished you didn’t find the mole on the tip of his nose cute, wished you hadn’t wondered if maybe all this insistence of his didn’t have some extra reason, besides wanting to get the work done and obviously annoying you. Of all the things, you wished you hadn’t been disappointed when you hadn’t seen him for a day.
It was ridiculous, you knew it was. But whatever it may be, there you were, your heart pounding, feeling it throb in your neck. You wouldn’t fool yourself into thinking it was just because you were surprised by him suddenly being by your side. You could fool others, but at least you had to be fair to yourself.
“I don’t know, you tell me.”
Even though you knew it wasn’t a good idea, you stood still. You knew it would only attract more attention, it was almost inevitable when Mingyu was by your side. 
“Okay, I was. I don’t want to be seen with you.”
Mingyu looked confused, his head lolling to the side as if he was seriously thinking about what was happening. The question mark was clearly written on his face. It was almost as if one was floating above his head.
“Mingyu, look. You, in and of yourself, are not the problem. I mean, in part, it is, but you know, it's that old story, the problem is me, not you.”
“I honestly thought the problem was just the assignment.” He scratched his head, his eyebrows still furrowed. “You think I'm stupid and that kind of thing.”
You took a deep breath, your eyes closed for a second. You hadn't explained the situation to him, you had no reason to, so he had no way of knowing. But you also didn't want to expose your life to a stranger, so you weren’t willing to just tell secrets you’d never said out loud.
“If I tell you I’ll let you guys do your part, will you stop following me? It’s a little weird, and maybe even a little creepy.”
Your words were honest, it was weird and creepy at the same time. It didn’t make sense. Wouldn’t it be much easier for him, and for Seokmin, to just let you do everything yourself so they could focus on whatever was important to them? In your opinion, it was the easiest thing for everyone.
But Mingyu looked like a dog with a bone. A terrible analogy, but it made sense, at least to you.
“Yes,” a direct answer, great.
“Let’s do it like this then, let’s chat via text about the artists we think are cool, which are the most interesting. Once we’ve reached a consensus, we’ll get together to start making the models.”
You took a step back and held out your hand. A peace offering.
“We have a deal then.”
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If regret killed, you would have been dead and buried so long ago that you would have turned into fertilizer. Logically, you knew that trusting Jeonghan was a mistake. You loved your brother with all your heart, but you also knew that he wasn't the most trustworthy person for certain things.
If you were in trouble and needed help? He was definitely the right guy for the job. He wouldn't say a word in a judgmental tone and, depending on the situation, he would go far enough to pretend it never happened. Now, if it was a request that he considered silly, then it was a lost cause. 
Besides all that, Jeonghan liked to play pranks, and you were one of his favorite victims. Things could even get a little out of hand when he and Seungcheol got together. It was like having two completely devilish older brothers. In truth, Seungcheol alone wasn't even that bad, but when he got together with Jeonghan it was like someone had opened the gates of hell. 
Even knowing all this, you had talked to him. You knew the house was his, that he could come and go as he pleased, but thought that if you played the little sister card well enough he would let it go.
"Some friends from college are coming over tomorrow, can you please not show up at home?" you asked, making your best puppy-dog-that-fell-out-of-the-moving-truck face.
"You don’t want me to meet your boyfriend?" he laughed, looking away from his phone for a second before returning his attention to the device.
You closed your eyes. Something was going on. Jeonghan was really into his phone, much more than usual. Either some nonsensical rumor had been published, which he would have already shown you and laughed along with you when he read the absurdities written; or he had a bone in his body, also known as a girlfriend. He always got more into his phone when he had someone more serious in his life.
It was useful information to have, so you put it in a little box in your mind labeled "something to blackmail Jeonghan with later" For now it was just speculation, but it could be important.
"How many boyfriends do you think I have?" You grimaced, shaking your head. “But no, none of them are my boyfriend. They’re just some guys I have to work with. I thought about doing it here because we need space and I’m sure I’ll yell at one of them sooner or later.”
You weren’t in the habit of bringing people home. Jeonghan was a person who really liked his private life to remain that way, private. Even with Kira, who was your closest friend, you had a hard time taking her home. Not because Jeonghan had asked. He knew that if you were asking, it was because you needed to or because you trusted those people enough to know who your brother was without it becoming a problem.
In fact, you weren’t sure of anything, not that you needed them or that you could trust them. But Jeonghan wasn’t one of those celebrities who had huge photos of themselves scattered around the house. It’s a little creepy, to be honest, he had said once. So the few photos he had around the living room were in normal-sized picture frames, which his mother had put up when she visited, so they could be easily hidden. The lie about the rich brother who works in the stock market was always on the tip of your tongue in case someone could question why you lived in a penthouse.
"I don't understand what's wrong with me being here then" His indifferent tone of voice was dangerous.
Maybe it would be better to give up.
"First because I don't need supervision, the virginity ship sailed a long time ago" 
It might be a good idea to talk about something he didn't like to talk about, like your past relationships. He could joke all he wanted, but at the end of the day, he was just a guy who didn't like knowing that his younger sister had boyfriends.
"For the love of god I don't need to know that in detail" He grimaced, pretending to vomit. He was such a good actor that he had even turned pale.
"And secondly, because they play hockey. Since there's no way they don't know who you are, I'd like to not witness another fanboy" 
You knew you had said the wrong thing when you noticed that gleam in Jeonghan's eyes. Even his expression had changed when you told him that your groupmates played hockey.
Still, you chose to believe him when he said he would be out of the house all day, that he would even go to Seungcheol's house after practice — which you thought was a lie, considering the whole situation with not putting down his phone and running when a notification came in. He had gone as far as to say, “let me know when it's over, so I can come home.” That's why you sent a message to the group chat with Seokmin and Mingyu asking if they had Tuesday night off.
A part of you, a very big part, thought they would deny it and make up any excuse not to show up, but it was almost as if they both had their phones in their hands waiting for your message.
And so, the three of you were sitting at Jeonghan's huge dining table. It was the kind of furniture that existed only to take up space, you always ate in the kitchen.
“You live well” Seokmin commented.
It was funny, and almost cute, how completely clumsy he was. You had bought different types of materials to test, thinking about which one would work best. Seokmin had changed several times, the last attempt was the biscuit.
“My brother earns well” you shrugged, hoping he wouldn't ask anymore.
To your surprise, he didn't ask. Which was a relief, you didn't want to lie.
Even without looking up, you knew Mingyu was looking at you. He didn't try to hide it at all. It was uncomfortable, but at the same time, it was flattering.
You rested your chin on your hand and stared at him too. Ever since the first day you had seen him in class, you had the feeling that you knew him. You didn't know where from, you didn't know how. It wasn't from college, it wasn't from the posters spread around, or from the fame he had. It was from before, before college, but you didn't know where. You were sure he wasn't in any of the courses you took and he wasn't from your school either, there was no hockey team.
“Where do I know you from?” the words came from your lips, but it was a question asked much more to you than to him.
Mingyu simply tilted his head to the side and didn't say a single word. Seokmin, who until then had his head down, his brow furrowed in concentration trying to shape the white mass in his hands, looked up, almost startled by your words.
It was as if a light bulb had been turned on over your head. It was so ridiculously obvious that you would be able to kick yourself.
And with perfect timing, as if it had been sent from heaven, programmed to the exact seconds, you heard the living room door open. A second later, Jeonghan was in the room.
“Mingyu?” Jeonghan said, his eyes darting from side to side, trying to understand what was happening.
“Captain,” Mingyu said, smiling.
You wished a hole the size of Mount Everest would open up beneath your feet and swallow you whole as you watched Mingyu stand up and greet Jeonghan as if they were old friends who hadn’t seen each other in years.
That was obviously true.
“You know each other” It wasn’t a question, it was a simple statement.
“Yes? Mingyu is a few years younger, but we played on the same team.”
Suddenly a brief movie flashed through your head, of all the times you had seen Mingyu — or at least the times that were never erased. Mingyu walking next to Jeonghan one of the times you were waiting for your brother in the school parking lot, him at the games, sitting on the bench completely irritated by the fact that he couldn’t play and the team was losing. He was a boy who was clearly too skinny, but somehow he had become that man in front of you.
“She doesn’t remember me,” Mingyu said with a laugh.
Was that a hint of resentment you heard in his voice? You hoped not, but maybe if you were in his shoes you would be resentful too. You hoped he hadn’t talked to you that first day because he expected you to recognize him and every time after that. Because most of the time you had been a complete jerk to him.
“Wow, you saw him literally every day for at least two years.”
It wasn’t like you weren’t already embarrassed enough on your own, of course, Jeonghan, in his best big brother role, had to add fuel to the fire. You hoped your cheeks weren’t as red as you felt them hot.
If the smile on Mingyu’s lips was any indication, you were completely screwed.
“I only remember Cheol. He was the only one you let get close to me.”
It was a futile attempt to defend yourself, but it was the only excuse you had. It was also the truth.
“That’s true,” Mingyu agreed, sitting back down.
It wasn’t a big secret that Jeonghan had forbidden all his teammates from getting close to you. It wasn’t like you desperately wanted their company anyway, so it was a win-win arrangement.
“You were a pain in the ass,” which was just another shovel of dirt for someone who was already buried, right?
“I was protecting you? The guys on the team…” he tried to defend himself, feigning offense.
You simply waved your hand at him, dismissing any kind of explanation he might have offered.
“They were teenagers full of testosterone and hormones. Not much has changed, you know.”
The three of them were startled when Seokmin slammed the table, his eyes wide as he stared at Jeonghan. For a few minutes, you had forgotten he was there.
“You are Yoon Jeonghan’s sister?” His voice had suddenly become shrill to the point of echoing in the room.
The laugh that escaped your lips was partly incredulous and partly desperate. Mingyu remembered you, but he hadn’t told anyone—not even his teammate—probably because he remembered it was something you kept people from knowing. In a way, you knew your secret's safe with him. But you didn’t know if you could trust Seokmin in the same way.
“He’s kind of slow sometimes.”
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Mingyu pushed Seokmin out the door, hoping he would finally stop talking. His friend hadn’t realized the discomfort he had caused you yet. Jeonghan, as always, didn’t seem to care and on some level, he actually seemed to enjoy all the attention he was getting.
“It’s been a while since someone got this excited to see me,” he said, laughing when Seokmin went to the bathroom.
Either Jeonghan hadn’t realized how quiet you had been, or he had simply chosen not to do anything about it. Mingyu couldn’t be sure of the older man’s intentions, not at that moment or when they were still at school.
But you? You were like an open book, almost begging to be read. You obviously didn’t say a word, but your face showed how uncomfortable you were with the whole situation, how embarrassed you were for not remembering Mingyu as soon as you saw him.
Without you noticing, Mingyu spent a lot of time observing you. In a way, it was easy to know what you were thinking. Of course, a lot had changed in the years you hadn't seen each other, but many things were still the same.
“He won't tell anyone about your brother.”
Mingyu pushed Seokmin again, this time towards the elevator, and turned to you, who was holding the door, your gaze almost lost.
“It's okay.” you took a deep breath before straightening your spine and forcing a smile. “Eventually, everyone will know.”
He shook his head and put his hand on your shoulder, leaning his body forward slightly so his eyes were leveled with yours.
“You have my word,” he promised, voice low “Seokmin won't open his mouth. Your secret will still be a secret.”
You nodded, but Mingyu knew the gesture was just to make him leave faster.
“You should go,” you said before closing the door, without waiting for Mingyu's response.
If he could, he would suffocate Seokmin right there in the hallway, but then the security cameras would see him and that would become a problem. He entered the elevator in silence and pressed the button for the ground floor. Beside him, Seokmin was practically thrilled with the discovery he had made an hour ago.
“When you said you knew her from your old school, I would never have imagined that,” he said, laughing. “I thought she was a girl who went to the same school as you.”
Mingyu chose to remain silent. He expected Seokmin to eventually get tired and simply stop talking, but he should have known better. His friend had too much energy to simply stop. In fact, it was a surprise that he had managed to stay quiet for two hours before Jeonghan arrived. And even after he arrived, Seokmin had remained standing in the same place. He spoke faster than ever and looked at Jeonghan as if he were seeing a god in person, but still, standing in the same place.
God knew it was almost impossible to convince Seokmin to stay still for long.
“I don’t understand why she hides the fact that she’s his sister. It’s basically the nicest thing anyone can say. Imagine going around saying ‘my brother is Yoon Jeonghan’”
Mingyu sighed and crossed his arms and sighed, rolling his eyes. Of course, he would.
“Remember that time your sister complained that a girl tried to befriend her because she wanted to go out with you?”
“It happened a few times, actually.”
Mingyu stayed silent, waiting for all the dots to connect in Seokmin’s head without him having to actually say the words. Under normal circumstances, Seokmin would have understood and kept quiet, but he was too excited after meeting an idol god to realize the full context Mingyu was trying to give him.
“That happens to her all the time. She didn’t even go to the same school as us. She really does everything so no one knows she’s his sister. Didn’t you notice there’s no picture of them at home?”
Seokmin laughed, as if the question was too stupid, causing Mingyu to narrow his eyes.
“Dude, you’re the one who’s into her, not me. I don’t care about whose picture is in her house.”
Would anyone find it a problem if Mingyu strangled Seokmin until he passed out and then took him back home? In Mingyu’s eyes, he would be doing everyone around him a favor. It would be a night of silence and peace for everyone involved — in this case, just him, but no one needed to know about it.
“Either way, you can’t tell anyone about this,” he warned once more.
He had made a promise to you and he would rather cut off an arm than break it.
“Not even to the team?”
Mingyu scratched his head before crossing his arms again, with much more force than necessary. Finally, the elevator reached the ground floor and Seokmin was faster than Mingyu to get out, almost running down the hall to the gate.
Mingyu briefly greeted the doorman with a nod before following his friend.
“Especially to the team. No one can know. It's like a federal secret, you know?”
Mingyu grabbed Seokmin by the arm, making his friend stop and look at him. He hoped it would be enough for him to understand that he wasn't kidding, that it wasn't some kind of joke.
"Jeez, so much drama."
He got away from his friend and quickly opened the car door and got into the passenger seat.
Once again, Mingyu took a deep breath, his eyes closed. Maybe he shouldn't have promised you anything, not when the promise had nothing to do with him, and when there was a possibility of everything going wrong, then he would have to bear the burden of someone else's mistake.
"Seokmin," your voice was a warning tone. He opened the car door.
"I won't say anything!" his friend almost shouted.
"You're terrible at keeping secrets," he sighed, almost defeated.
"Nobody knows that you're actually super smart," Seokmin scoffed. "I never told on you, you know."
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When you finally managed to get Mingyu and Seokmin to leave, you were beyond exhausted. It was late, already past 10 pm and you had to wake up early for class the next day. At least you would fall into bed without much trouble and you were sure that you would black out almost instantly. Except for the idea that from that moment on it was likely that the entire college would know who your brother was.
You always knew that this day would come, you just hoped it wouldn't be during college, a college that had a good hockey team — well, it was almost unfair, they were fantastic — and that lived and breathed the sport. If the news really needed to get out, you wanted it to happen when you were far away from there, in an environment where few people would like the sport. Of course, you were living off stereotypes, but you preferred to believe that you wouldn't have many colleagues who liked the sport, or that if they did, they would be indifferent.
With a sigh, you began to gather the materials that were scattered around the table, cleaning up the mess left behind. Seokmin wasn't wrong when he said that Mingyu was more skilled than expected. The prototype he made was delicate and almost perfect. Working with him wouldn't be complicated at all. With Seokmin too. He was more absent-minded, but he wasn't bad either. He could do the rough part of the work and you would refine it until it was perfect.
“Sis”
Jeonghan's voice sounded behind you and you chose not to answer. You were irritated with him for so many reasons that you didn't even know where to start, or what to say to him. You had made it explicitly clear why you didn't want him home. And, although he had never necessarily liked your reasons, Jeonghan had always respected you. If you said you didn't want something, he accepted it. But this time he had crossed all the limits.
“Sister” he tried again, this time a step closer to you.
You rested your hands on the table and leaned your body forward. 
“You know, I know that I live in your house, that you’re the one paying for my college, and that all the comfort I have here is because you pay for everything, so you can kind of do whatever you want. But this is my life.” 
You continued to put the things in the box and went to your room. You didn’t close the door because you knew Jeonghan would follow you. 
“I don’t understand what’s wrong with people knowing that I’m your brother.” 
You shook your head as you sat on the bed. He clearly didn’t understand, he never had, but he had always respected it. Apparently not anymore. 
“It’s not middle school anymore and you’re not 13 anymore. Just tell them all to go to hell,” he tried to reason, sitting in front of you. 
Jeonghan’s eyes were affectionate, without a hint of judgment. He just wanted to understand what was going on, because it was so important to you that people didn’t know.
“I didn’t change schools because girls were all over me because they wanted your number. I can’t say it didn’t affect my decision and it was the perfect excuse. But that wasn’t all.”
You didn’t know how to continue, didn’t know how to say everything without Jeonghan getting upset. Because you were sure he would.
“I didn’t want to be compared to you anymore.”
Your voice was almost a whisper and you didn’t dare look up, or in Jeonghan’s direction. You didn’t want to see the look of disappointment on his face, because you knew he would be disappointed. Not because you were feeling that way, but because you never told him anything.
“The teachers always talked about how smart you were, that despite sports you always got good grades. And I remember how you were back then, and you barely tried, but you were good at everything. I tried so hard and it was never enough.”
With each word that left your mouth, your voice got lower and weaker. When you said the words out loud, when they weren’t just cloistered in your mind anymore, they sounded almost pathetic. Jeonghan had never put any kind of pressure on you, quite the opposite. Your brother always made sure that you were you, an individual different from him.
All the ideas and traumas you had were not directly caused by Jeonghan but somehow had to do with him.
Jeonghan sighed loudly and leaned forward until he could hold your hand.
“Being good at school doesn’t mean anything, it’s just school. No one cares about it after a while.”
The laugh you let out was one of complete mockery. Jeonghan really had no idea what could be going through your head, the things that had happened and were still happening. Not that you blamed him for that, he had no way of knowing if you didn’t tell him what was going on, but part of you just wanted him to pay attention. If he paid attention, even the slightest bit, he would know.
The fact that he didn’t understand was painful.
If it were just the school teachers, it would be fine. Like he said, no one cares about school after a while. Do you know who cares about school, regardless of the moment? Parents. Parents who aren't necessarily bad, just parents who think that comparing one child to another is an excellent incentive. An incentive so good that they still do it.
Deep down you know that it's not out of malice, that it's not because they want to see you down, but it's an inevitable consequence. And, in a way, they were already so intrinsic in the conversations, little notes that didn't even seem like real comments, that you were sure that Jeonghan didn't even notice them.
"Okay," you said, just wanting to end the conversation. "I'll talk to both of them tomorrow, and apologize to Mingyu."
Jeonghan nodded, knowing full well that the conversation was over and that even if he pressed, he wouldn't be able to get anything else out of you.
"I have to leave early tomorrow," he said, "but if you want, can we have dinner together and talk about it?"
"I'll accept dinner, but I'll skip the talk."
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cavegirlpoems · 21 days
Text
A story from back when I played D&D. It might have been 3.5 or pathfinder or fantasycraft or one of that ilk. Might even have been 4e. It was like a decade ago.
So. Standard D&D. A party of bold adventurers of diverse origins and skillsets gets together to explore a perilous dungeon and stop a cartoonish baddy. The usual.
I end up building a fairly typical character for me. A goblin Rogue/Assassin. A stealth/melee build designed to get the drop on an enemy, do a bunch of rapid damage, and then fuck off.
She was lawful evil, and firmly in the team-fortress-two-sniper school of "You know who has a lot of feelings? Men what bludgeon their wives to death with a golf trophy. Professionals have standards." school of being a mercenary. I think I even did an aussie accent.
Anyway her schtick was that she'd noticed 'Adventurers' got to do as much violence as they wanted without social consequences, and she loved violence! So she was gonna do a stint as an adventurer, so once she was done she could go home with a big sack of gold to spend on booze and cake and hot girls. But right now she was on the job, so she was an extremely professional team player with a strict code of conduct. Always be honest with the team, follow the plan, don't mess things up for the team, split the loot evenly. Standards.
Verna was a horrible efficient little murder gremlin who was also proudly guild-certified. * * *
Now, another PC was a chaotic neutral gnome bard who was leaning hard on the 'gnomes are amusingly racist to goblins and kobolds and think this is funny and endearing' thing. He teased Verna a bunch about being green and ugly, which she studiously ignored because - remember - she had Professional Standards.
Anyway, there was a human NPC we met that she didn't like, saying he was a bit stupid and very annoying. Our gnome bard decided it would be very funny to use one of his enchantment spells to make Verna suddenly horny for him and watch what happened.
Verna sees the gnome who keeps fucking with her walk up, wave his hands and babble some arcane nonsense, and now she has weird funny feelings she can't explain. She does some thinking and concludes that she'll pay the human for a snog later, because right now this guy's just obviously cast a spell to mess with her mind, which was Not Okay. Of course, she had Professional Standards, so...
She walks up to our gnome friend and basically informs him: "Hi! I know you just did some magical brainwashing on me, and I am not going to tolerate this! However, because we're in a team together, and I don't want this to become a problem, I am going to very generously allow you to settle the matter with me. We will have a bout of single combat to first blood, and then whoever wins I will consider the matter settled and my honour satisfied, and you won't do that again, and we won't mention it. This is a very kind offer of mine, because I have Standards; where I come from the normal response would be to say nothing and strangle you in your sleep tonight."
And our gnome, who is a spellcaster not a combatant, looks at this and decides he doesn't want to get shown up by her, and basically tells her that if she doesn't like getting messed with she can go back to the goblin village, and laughs at her.
So. Shrug. Quickdraw as a free action. I get a surprise round. You're flat footed, so it's easy to hit and I get sneak attack damage. 3/4 of his health is gone. Initiative. He says he wants to say sorry. I respond that he can say that when it gets to his initiative count, but right now it's my action and he's still flat-footed and here's my big pile of d6s for sneak attack and oh dear I think that's him on -10 hp, so he's not going to get the chance.
* * *
Anyway this kicked off a massive shitstorm ooc about how I just kicked off PvP and murdered a PC for no reason and the game fell apart because the gnome's player genuinely didn't seem to understand that 'mind control' is a hostile action. This was in the bad old days before safety tools and I was playing in a fairly neckbeardy group, so 'a man makes a woman horny against her will to humiliate her and laughs about it' was apparently not a deal-breaker while 'the woman stabs him for it' was.
I still think I wasn't the bad guy in this scenario.
There is no point to this story I just wanted to share it.
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jesswritesthat · 2 months
Text
Atsumu Miya: Second Choice
Fandom: Haikyuu!! — [ Masterlist ]
Summary: ~2.2k, fluff
• You were never first choice, so it comes as a surprise when he notices your presence before anyone else.
Warnings: None
>>>>——————————>
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It was always the same, you'd watched as people flocked to beauty, straight past you every time. In reality when you became friends with Sachiko it was because she had a great personality, you couldn't have possibly predicted she'd become the most beautiful and popular girl in school by the time you'd reached Inarizaki High.
Regardless of her sparkling status, she remained your best friend and you'd usually be found together throughout the school premises along with anyone else who joined you at the start of first year.
When the Volleyball team grew more intoxicating, it was Sachiko who'd excitedly dragged you along to one of their home training matches. It's where you first laid eyes upon the famous Miya twins, a vicious team of spiker and setter with a serve worthy of award among them. Already they had personal fans and the cheer squad screaming their praises, you're surprised they didn't get mauled in the hallways.
Now you'd seen them, you recognised them in school and they apparently had space to breathe aside from the odd confession here and there. You'd regularly seen that with Sachiko though, she'd often be either pulled to the side or you'd bear witness to some lovestruck soul gushing their heart out for her.
It was humbling in a way, you were the one who goes unnoticed but notices everything. Including if feelings were reciprocated, and you're certain you deducted gossip before it even became that, you'd been getting accurate in predicting things lately. However, you never predicted one of them to notice you.
Especially him.
"Hey, ya in one of my classes right?" In honesty you didn't even realise it was you this voice was addressing since Sachiko lingered by your side, not until a careful tap drew your attention to the blonde twin rather than your locker.
"Huh? Oh I think so, it hasn't been long enough to learn everyone's name yet. You're the volleyball player though."
"Ah, have ya seen me play? Like it?" His head tilted in curiosity, proud smirk upon his lips.
"You were really good, you have great form when you serve." With that you nodded to him, slipping on your shoes and walking off with your best friend quickly following in tow.
"Woah— wait up!" You didn't even look back in the swarm of leaving students. "I didn't get yer name..."
———
It wasn't until a week or so later did he 'confidently' interact with you again, this time his call far more effective in hailing your attention.
"(L/n) (Y/n)!"
Immediately you spun to the origin, finding none other than Miya Atsumu dodging a group of fangirls rather effortlessly on his way to you.
"You know my name."
"Yeah 'course. You know who I am so it's only fair." It was surefire charisma, one you'd soon extinguish.
"Miya Osamu isn't it?"
"Ye—Hey?! YA GOTTA BE KIDDIN'!"
"'Tsumu shut ya mouth!" The namesake twin glared harshly at his counterpart, quickly flashing a calmer look when you'd addressed him.
"Ah, hey Miya-san. I apologise, that was my fault for winding your brother up."
"Dumbass has control of his own mouth." Osamu politely assured, meanwhile Atsumu reclaimed your peripheral with a childish pout.
"So ya knew ma name all along and decided to be freakin' mean about it? On our second meetin' too."
"I couldn't resist, you're so cute when you're mad."
"I'm— oh ya think I'm cute?" Atsumu stammered slightly, your smirk only widening upon noting the crimson tips of his ears. Honesty leaving your lips soon after.
"I think you're both handsome, as does a majority of the school body. See you Miya-san and Miy—"
"Call me Atsumu!"
"See you in class, Atsumu." You actually looked back this time, an unfamiliar and unexpected feeling flourishing within you.
———
Part of you wandered if it’d be different this time, maybe you’d found someone who was there for you and not Sachiko. Just this once. You’d spoken more in class, studied together, traded snacks, and genuinely became friends over the course of two months.
Ironically it was the same blonde who tugged you from your reverie at the your locker where you’d first spoken.
"Yer friends with Sachiko aren't ya?"
This was it, the moment you realised he was just like all others and for the first time in a long while, you were truly disappointed.
"Yes I am, and she is amazing."
"I'm aware, could ya introduce me?" He’d spoked so casually, completely unawares of the charade you donned.
"What? Too scared to introduce yourself?" Atsumu was taken aback by your mockery, smirk growing as you persisted. "She doesn't bite y'know, that's my job."
This was the second time you'd left him speechless, slamming your locker door and disappearing into the halls with a wave.
From then on you'd see them happily talking to one another, it was hard seeing them together, amusing considering you'd only known the blonde not even half the year, yet you'd liked him more than you considered possible.
The first time you'd walked into the classroom finding the pair conversing at her desk, it was like Atsumu was desperately trying to convince her of something. It was only for a brief moment but when the setter turned to see you with a suddenly concerned look, you realised you hadn't worn a facade. You were meant to smile, instead you must've looked saddened - briskly you offered a weak smirk, and span to leave the room with additional flare as to minimise suspicion.
You’d only made it three steps down the hallway when a grasp on your wrist limited your escape.
"Hey you okay?"
"Yes? Why wouldn't I be?" Came your upbeat response, even if he portrayed a careful worrisome look on his handsome features.
"Ya... ya looked upset."
"Really? Are you sure?"
"I'm observant y'know, gotta be fer volleyball so yeah, I noticed your little slip." He was more forward this time, gesturing to you with a tilt of his head - even if he was head over heels for Sacchan, at least he still genuinely cared about you.
"It's nothing, just realised I've got a test today and that's depressing enough." You thought it was acceptably convincing, though the calculating gaze he'd locked onto yours made you reconsider.
“(Y/n) I know I can be annoyin’ but I’ll do anything I can to help y—“
“I’m fine.” You instantly corrected, reaffirmation following. “I’m fine, Atsumu.”
A gentle pat on his chest told him not to worry, and the nod you gave said you wanted to be alone. So, he let you walk away, your wrist slipping from his grip.
———
Even weirder than the smitten pair hanging out was that your conversations with Sachiko seemed to revolve around him too. Which by your deductions, meant he’d certainly made more of an impression on her than anyone else recently. Maybe Atsumu really had a shot with her…
"Atsumu is so hot isn't he?"
"I guess he keeps in shape, he has to if he wants to improve his skills."
"Uh yes... his hair suits him though, brings out the colour of his eyes~" She gleamed, searching for your reaction and once more her face dramatically dropped at the deadpan reply.
"Makes him easier to differentiate from Osamu."
"True, but I'm asking if you find him attractive?!" Her impatience had gotten the better of her, voice raised slightly out of desperation.
"Isn't that a question you should ask yourself? I haven't heard you go on about a boy this much since middle school." You quipped, raising a quizzical brow at her.
"It's not like th—"
"Oh hey! Sachiko, (Y/n), you wanna come to practice today?" Atsumus’ hollering tone interrupted the conversation, the blonde strolling into your classroom like he belonged there.
"Yes, we'd love to." Sachiko of course was ecstatic to agree, why would she say no since he’s ’so attractive’. Yourself on the other hand had replicated the Thor meme perfectly…
"Would we though?"
"Yeah ya would! C'mon~" You hadn't the chance to protest further when Atsumus' hands clamped your shoulders steering you in the direction of the gymnasium with a giggling Sachiko skipping behind.
———
When Atsumu had asked you to meet him after school before practice started toward the end of the year, you expected something food related or about homework answers, not whatever this was.
Here he stood, flowers in hand and apparently a homemade bento box offered to you with a growing blush painting his handsome features and an aura of flustering about him which was unusual in itself.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm— isn't it obvious?!"
"I have literally no idea what's going through your thick skull, Sachiko will like the flowers though." You answered honestly, crossing your arms.
"They're not for her!"
"Oh... Suna...?"
Atsumus brows furrowed at your wit, shaking his head with a huff.
"Alright ya got me, they're for Sachiko. Yer gonna deliver them since yer her best friend. Thanks and make sure ya eat some of the bento 'cuz there's stuff yer will like in it. Later!" He basically threw the flowers at you and pushed the bento box into your chest prior to storming toward the exit.
You stood dumbfounded, flicking between the two items when he placed his forehead against the door with a defeated sigh and spun on his heel.
“Go! Go on, the team are here and I don’t want ya getting hit with a face full of leather and petals.” He’d stubbornly commented, ushering you out of the gym.
Still, you shouldered your sadness, wearing false confidence like your favourite outfit as you went to find your friend (completely oblivious to the embarrassed mess whining to his teammates inside).
Sachiko squealed when she saw you, leaving her work unattended and rushing to your side admiring your haul.
"It finally happened! Oh my goodness!"
"Yeah yeah, blondie came through congratulations." You boredly spoke, placing the items down whilst she basically vibrated with pure joy.
"Congratulations indeed! Are you happy?"
"Eh. He did say we should share the lunch."
"That's... weird?" Sachikos’ prior energy disappeared as she looked to you in confusion.
"I know, that's what I thought. Apparently there's things I like in it."
"Well obviously. Atsumu made it for you."
"No, he made it for you."
A moment of silence passed, yourself and Sachiko locked in a puzzled stare off.
"Nah, let's be honest, Osamu probably made it~" You dismissively waved your hand once placing the items on her desk, although it was only you who found humour in the situation.
"No (Y/n) I'm serious! Atsumu has been asking me about you and your preferences for months and I've been super excited about it. He even wanted me to find out if you liked him or not —of course IF I found out, I would've kept it to myself— but he really likes you."
"I thought he was into you, I mean everyone is into you." You adamantly justified, as if it explained everything but Sachiko was just as passionate.
"Not him, why do you think he keeps asking you to practices or bugging you every 5 minutes?"
"To get close to you? I don't know."
"No! To get close to you!"
Widened eyes and a look of pure shock told Sachiko her words had finally resonated with you, the truth burned brightly and she could only smile as you ran.
Abandoned were the flowers as you dashed through the halls and came to a skidding halt before the gymnasium - fingertips hesitantly pausing against the door upon hearing Atsumus' cursing whines.
"I didn't even get to say! They just ran off to Sachiko!"
“Ya literally said ‘Go’.” Osamus voice maybe?
“Yeah well, I don’t ever wanna walk away from (Y/n), but it feels like they’re always walking away from me…” Atsumu trailed off, more emotion than you thought lacing his words.
"Maybe ya shouldn't have lied?" That was definitely Arans’ blunt advisory tone.
"I had no choice! They were lookin' at me with their stupid pretty eyes and askin' if it was for Sacchan and I didn't wanna disappoint 'em."
"Yer an idiot." Osamu gladly highlighted, the perfect moment to walk in and make your presence known you decided.
"I know! But—"
"Atsumu?" At the sound of your call, the entity of the team turned in your direction, the setter being the first to respond.
"Huh?! (Y/n) what are you doing here?"
Osamu and the rest of Inarizaki seemed to understand the underlying tension and were quick to evacuate the area.
"I came to tell you that Sachiko liked the flowers." You awkwardly started, Atsumu running fingers through his hair with a quiet voice.
"Oh, right."
"As did I, and I think I'd like to get you something in return."
"Eh?"
"She told me what was going on." You filled in, hands behind your back fiddling with your fingers.
"She's lying! I do not like you at all, let alone find you attractive or anything!"
Much like you predicted, he'd jumped to conclusions and had inadvertently dropped himself in it and exposed the truth Sachiko had enclosed which earned your witty reply.
"Funny, I never mentioned anything about liking me. That’s good to know~"
"Wait— then what?" Atsumu defused, utterly confused and blushing.
"And it's a shame, I was about to confess my feelings for you but I see there's no need since you 'don't like me at all'." You shrugged haphazardly, a hint of sarcasm lacing your tone but it was your statement that revitalised his spark. Enough to abruptly skid in front of you with a commendable justification when you’d started to turn around.
"You still can, nothin' to lose and all that." A half smile was sent to you, hazel eyes meeting yours. “And please, don’t walk away from me this time.”
"I didn’t want— I mean I—“ A wistful sigh escaped you, confession imminent. “I really like you Atsumu, you're both an incredible player and a cool person so I’m glad I got to tell you that.”
“I like ya too (Y/n)! So much, and I feel more confident playing when ya come and watch. Yer smile really hypes me up y’know. If yer up for it, I’d love to spend more time with ya.”
"Yeah, I’d like that."
That evening, he’d offered to walk you home and there was still one thing you wanted to say after all that.
“Hey Atsumu?” A hum signified his attention. “Thank you for noticing me."
"Noticing ya?"
"Yeah, I just… I appreciate it."
"No I mean, noticing ya? I haven't noticed anyone else since I met ya."
<——————————<<<<
[ Masterlist ]
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auras-moonstone · 1 year
Text
how you get the girl — ethan landry
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word count: 3,654
pairing: hockey player!ethan landry x fem!reader
summary: because of ethan’s reputation as a man-whore, y/n doesn’t believe he wants a serious relationship with her. so, ethan and chad make a list so that he can get the girl.
warnings: fluff.
author’s note: i’ve been reading lots of hockey rom-coms, so i needed to write about it. i’m obsessed with ethan as a hockey player😫
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ETHAN DIDN’T KNOW HOW BADLY HIS ACTIONS WOULD COME BACK IN THE FUTURE TO BITE HIM IN THE ASS. Being captain of the Blackmore hockey team and certified pretty boy, girls were practically—and quite literally sometimes—throwing themselves at him, and he would lie if he said he didn’t love the attention. It would be easier and shorter to name the girls he hadn’t hooked up with than naming the ones he had. That gained him the reputation of being a playboy, and he didn’t mind being called that, to be completely honest. Or at least, he didn’t until Y/N came into his life.
She was Tara’s best friend, and since said girl started dating Ethan’s best friend, Chad, the four of them began spending lots of time together. At first, the boy flirted with Y/N because hitting on attractive girls was like second nature to him, but then he got to know her better and the unexpected thing happened—Ethan was swept off his feet. But his reputation was his karma, and Y/N didn’t think he was being serious with her. She would laugh and brush it off because no matter how gorgeous Ethan was, playboys weren’t Y/N’s type, so she would decline every attempt of him to make her go out with him.
“Why not? Just one date” Ethan said on his fifth attempt of the day. They were on the Blackmore hockey rink, and instead of using his break to drink water and rest, Ethan went to talk to Y/N.
“Exactly. You want just one date, get me inside your bed and tomorrow you’ll move onto some other girl. I really like you” she said, and before he could smirk in victory she added. “But why ruin the friendship we have for sex? Besides, one night stands aren’t my cup of tea.”
“Then let’s make it an every day thing” Ethan said.
“Nice try, Eth. We know you don’t do repeats” she stated.
“I could!” he argued. “And besides, I’m not asking for sex—I mean, at the end of the date, if you want to, I’m not gonna reject the offer—, I’m done with hook ups, I want something more.”
Y/N laughed “Okay, try it, but not with me. I’m sorry, Eth”
The girl stood up and made her way towards the exit of the rink, leaving a disappointed Ethan behind. She would lie if she said she didn’t want to try things with him, but the truth also was that she didn’t trust him when it came to relationships and she didn’t want to get her heart broken by him.
Chad got off the ice to find his best friend sitting on the bleachers, gaze fixed on the stairs, looking like a sad kicked puppy. It’s not a sight seen often, Ethan was usually an over-energetic puppy, always happy and with a smile on his face.
“Hey, man. What’s wrong?”
“Y/N rejected me.” Ethan played with his hockey stick, not wanting to meet his best friend’s eyes.
“I’ve never seen you like this after a rejection” Chad frowned.
“Well, not to brag, but it doesn’t usually happen.” he said, making Chad chuckle. “But it’s different this time. Y/N is not someone I want for one night, or for something casual. I want everything with her.”
“Wow” Chad took a breath, shocked by the confession. “And she said no?”
“She says she doesn’t want to ruin our friendship” Ethan said.
Chad scoffed “Why would that happen?”
“She doesn’t trust me and thinks I’m not boyfriend material. I really am serious about her, Chad. I swear. I would never hurt her. I wish she could read my mind”
“Don’t you dare give up, then. Words aren’t enough, show her you really like her”
“How?”
Chad smirked. “Grab a pen and a napkin, we are going to make a list so you can get the girl.”
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one: get her favourite coffee
ETHAN WOKE UP A BIT EARLIER THE FOLLOWING DAY TO GO TO Y/N’S FAVOURITE COFFEE SHOP AND GET HER ORDER. He convinced Tara to drag Y/N straight to class, not letting her get the coffee, and to text him once they were in the classroom. Once he got the text, Ethan entered the class, all eyes on him, and set the cup in front of Y/N with an adorable grin.
“Good morning. You look gorgeous as always” he kissed her cheek and simply left the room.
Y/N stared at the drink completely astonished, ignoring the glares coming from the female population and the smirk her best friend was giving her. There was something scribbled with black sharpie—it was simple, but it made her stomach combust. Have a great day, beautiful! Love, Ethan. And three hearts poorly made—which she thought was utterly adorable—next to his name.
“You got him in a leash” Tara laughed.
“Don’t be silly, we know what he wants” Y/N brushed it off.
“Come on, Ethan doesn’t do romantic stuff for anyone, not even to get laid.”
“It’s just one coffee, Tara. Let’s not be dramatic.”
But Tara knew, and Y/N too, that the little gesture was a lot when it came to Ethan Landry. Yet, a coffee cup wasn’t enough to gain the girl’s trust.
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two: show her you’re interested in her interests
WHAT IS THE THING Y/N ENJOYED THE MOST? EASY: BOOKS. Ethan knew exactly which one he should start with. In fact, he had bought it the first time Y/N mentioned it. He didn’t know what it was about, but he was sure it was a rom-com that referenced other rom-com movies.
“Ethan!” Chad said in a loud voice, startling his friend. Ethan looked up to find his best friend, Tara and Y/N staring at him. The latter had her mouth wide open.
“What?” he asked absentmindedly. He had been so immersed in the book he hadn’t heard them arrive.
“We called your name countless times, man.” Chad laughed.
“Sorry” Ethan closed the book and looked at Y/N. “Um, I may have a man-crush on Wes Bennett.”
Y/N chuckled, sitting in front of him and ignoring the way her heart was beating rapidly. She wanted to take a picture of Ethan with the book and set it as her lock screen “Welcome to the club.”
“I can’t stand it anymore, I need them to kiss. I need Wes to get the girl” he groaned.
A grin took over her features “Which part are you at?”
“They are going to hang out at Michael’s house” Ethan replied, which made her smile wider. “What’s that smile for? Oh god, what is going to happen?”
“I’m not going to spoil it! Just want to say… buckle up”
“You can’t say that! I can’t continue reading until tomorrow, I have a test!” Ethan panicked.
“Look at you, invested in a rom-com” Chad bumped his shoulder.
“I just wanted to see if it lived up to Y/N’s hype” Ethan said, making her turn into a blushing mess. “It does.”
“You aren’t even finished” Y/N rolled her eyes playfully. “Did you know there’s a sequel coming? And its playlist isn’t very optimistic”
“What?! You just ruined my day. I don’t want to read it anymore” he crossed his arms.
Wanting to mess with him, Tara grabbed the book. “So you wouldn’t mind if I-“ she stopped talking when the boy took the book from her hands.
“Yes, I would mind”
“Wait, are you annotating it?” Y/N said when she saw the colourful post-its.
“Yeah, it’s pretty fun. Anyways, I have to go to class, see you later at practice?”
“See you” Chad said. Before leaving, Ethan kissed Y/N’s forehead.
“What is going on with him?” Y/N asked.
“Showing you he’s serious about you. What are you waiting for, Y/N/N? I thought you liked him” Chad said.
“I do, a lot. But I’m not sure I’m really what he wants. What if he’s just interested because I’m the only girl who has rejected him? What if I finally say yes and then that interest is gone? How am I supposed to recover from that?”
“Y/N…”
“There’s nothing I’d like more than to call him mine, Chad. Trust me. But being just another girl on his list would kill me. I don’t want to lose him, okay? I don’t know if I’m willing to risk our friendship.”
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three: woo her with your hockey skills.
WHEN PRACTICE WAS OVER AND CHAD AND ETHAN DIDN’T LEAVE THE RINK, Y/N WAS CONFUSED. The boys skated towards the bleachers Tara and her were sitting in and smirked at them. Chad grabbed a bag from a corner and gave it to them.
“Put the skates on, ladies”
Y/N wanted to laugh when Ethan grabbed her hands and guided her around the ice, but she thought it was so cute that she didn’t have the heart to tell him she knew how to skate perfectly well.
“Okay, I think you’re ready to do it on your own, but go slowly” Ethan said as he finished explaining her how to slide in the ice.
“Losers don’t do it slowly, Landry.” Y/N scoffed.
“You will hurt yourself, Y/N/N. Don’t be stubborn, it’s dangerous.” Ethan sighed.
Y/N smirked “Oh yeah?” she skated flawlessly towards a corner, and came back with a winning smile. She even did a little spin to show off.
“H-how?” he asked breathlessly, frozen in place with a look of shock.
“Took skating classes when I was little” she explained.
“Why didn’t you tell me? I was blabbering instructions like a fool”
Y/N shrugged “I couldn’t, you looked so excited”
“You’re evil” he shook his head as he let out the cutest laugh Y/N had ever heard. God, her infuriation was just getting worse with every little action he did. She didn’t know how much longer she would be able to contain herself. She needed him to stop.
So her face turned serious “Ethan…”
Ethan fluttered his eyes close and then looked at her with pleading eyes. “Please don’t. I know what you’re going to say. Just hear me out. I know that my reputation is horrible, and I get why you don’t trust me. But I have never been more serious about something the way I am about you. I really wish I could erase every hook up, but I can’t and I don’t want my past to define my future. I know it’s hard to believe, but I haven’t been with anyone since I fell for you. I haven’t even thought about anyone else since I fell for you. I want to keep showing you how much I like you.”
Y/N was speechless. He had known Ethan long enough to know he was being serious and completely honest with his words. Maybe she had judged him too much, maybe he had truly changed. And now that she thought about it, she hadn’t seen him with a girl in ages. Maybe diving into a relationship wasn’t the safest option, but it was worth the try.
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four: get her flowers
DURING HER LUNCH BREAK, Y/N WAS SURPRISED BY THE HOCKEY PLAYER, who on one hand was holding red tulips and on the other one food. Like always, his presence brought attention and whispers, but none of them cared. Something had shifted between them since that afternoon at the rink, and they both could feel it.
“Thank you, Eth” she smiled gratefully. “You know, I had a feeling you would bring me lunch, so instead of bringing mine, I brought yours. I owe you flowers, though.”
“Thanks” he laughed. “Do you like them?”
“They are beautiful” she nodded, her cheeks the same colour as her flowers.
“When you get home, you should look for the meaning of red tulips” he winked.
For the rest of the day, Y/N had been in a haze. Every time Ethan crossed her mind, blush appeared on her cheeks and the corners of her mouth lifted up.
“My god, was I that annoying when Chad and I started talking?” Tara asked when they entered their dorm.
“Yes, you were, T.” Y/N chuckled, remembering her best friend’s love-sick smile every time Chad texted her. “You still are, by the way.”
“Anyways, I love seeing you like this. And I’m glad you’re willing to give Ethan a chance.”
“Me too. I’m not going to lie, I’m a bit scared that he’ll get bored of me, but I’m really determined to risk it.”
“He’s not going to get bored of you, Y/N/N. He doesn’t like you because he’s into the whole ‘Only girl who had ever rejected him’ thing. He’s into you because you don’t see him only as a hot hockey player, but you also see how sweet and caring he is. You’re not interested in using him to become popular, you see that he is much more than his popularity. And that is why he likes you.”
“Well, shit. Now I feel bad for rejecting him multiple times.” Y/N slumped to the couch.
Tara laughed “Don’t. It’s understandable why you were cautious with your feelings. He knows that he isn’t a saint. By the way, did you know that Chad and him made this list with things to do to win you over?”
“Really?” Y/N laughed. “That makes sense, he’s being really sweet this week. Well, more than usual, because he’s always super sweet.”
“I found it on their fridge, they are so silly. It’s called ‘Ethan and Chad’s infallible list on how to get the girl’. I took a picture”
Y/N took Tara’s phone and laughed at the list. There were a couple of items crossed out and with a tick, and the one that said ‘Woo her with your hockey skills’ had a little note to the side that said ‘Backfired. My girl is a skating genius, made me look like a fool’, which made her laugh. Then, on the ‘Give her flowers’ there was an explanation note that said ‘My pick: red tulips. Means declaration of love’.
“Fucking hell, he’s so… ugh! I really want to kiss him”
“Lucky for you, that’s item six” Tara said over her shoulder.
“The thought of them brainstorming and writing this down is adorable” Y/N laughed.
“It really is” Tara nodded. “You should wear Ethan’s jersey to the game tomorrow. You don’t know how many times he told us he has dreamt about it.”
Y/N smiled, her heart fluttering. Ethan had shown her how much he liked her, and she thought it was time to show him how much she liked him. “You know? That’s an excellent idea.”
[💖]
five: publicly state you’re only into her.
ETHAN KNEW THE BEST TIME TO EXECUTE ITEM FIVE WOULD BE THE NIGHT OF THE GAME. The ideal scenario would be to get that puck on the net and dedicate it to Y/N, and if he wasn’t that lucky, he would settle with blowing kisses and winks at her. Though when he went out on the ice rink and he caught sight of her, his mind went blank, his body stopped working for a couple of seconds and if it weren’t for Chad steadying him, he would’ve collapsed to the ice.
He quickly skated towards her seat, which was in the first row, right behind the glass. “Beautiful, you can’t just come here in my jersey without any warnings. You want me to have a heart attack?”
A sweet laugh bursted out of her “Sorry. Red tulips are your way of declaring your love, I thought wearing your jersey could be mine.”
Ethan’s breath hitched “Um, I’m about to jump up this glass so that I can kiss you.”
The girl shook her head and laughed “After the game, pretty boy. If you win, you might get an extra reward.”
And hell if those words didn’t encourage Ethan to play his best. The game was brutal, both teams were acing it and the match was about to end in a tie, until Ethan scored the winning goal a few seconds before time was over. The Blackmore bleachers erupted in screams of triumph, and the players united for a group hug.
Tara and Y/N instantly went looking for their boys. The last one scowled as she saw a puck bunny making sexy eyes at Ethan and she clung to his arm. The boy couldn’t have looked more uncomfortable, he pulled his arm away, only for the girl to find another way of touching him.
“You have been acting so hard to get lately. Don’t you think a winner deserves a kiss?” Y/N heard the girl say.
“You’re absolutely right. Now, back away so I can kiss the hell out of him.” Y/N said, throwing daggers at the girl, who looked at her in a mix of surprise and annoyance. “And can’t you get a hint? He’s uncomfortable.”
Ethan gaped at her. She had never looked so hot—standing there with his number on the back of the jersey that fitted her like a dress, knee-length boots that weirdly turned him on, and with a scowl on her face as she got all territorial on him.
“And who are you?” the puck bunny scanned her up and down with a frown.
“His girlfriend. Now, can you leave? I have to congratulate my man” she said harshly. As soon as she said that, Ethan was sure he was about to drop onto his knees and let her do whatever she wanted to him.
“Girlfriend?” Ethan smirked as the puck bunny left. “I like the sound of that.”
“Good” Y/N smirked back, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Now, are you ready to cross out items five and six? You know, one bird two stones.”
“Hell yes”
Their lips moved hungrily, and the kiss was way too heated and inappropriate considering their surroundings. But they couldn’t stop it, their desire was diesel and they had been playing with fire for months.
“I promised you a reward if you won, right?” Y/N said against his lips.
“Isn’t this the reward? This is more than I could’ve asked for. You, finally being my girlfriend and kissing me while wearing my jersey.” his eyes were dark and lips swollen. His beauty was out of this world.
“You scored the winning goal, babe. You deserve a special reward” she licked her lips. “Let’s go to your car.”
He nodded eagerly, and as they reached the car, he dared to ask “What do you have in mind?”
She opened the back door. “One kiss isn’t enough. How much time do you have until you have to go to the bar with the guys?”
“What guys? What bar? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” he acted clueless and she let out a giggle. “In fifteen, but they’ll survive if I arrive a bit late. I want to be with my girl for a while.”
“Okay, then get in the car so we can make out.” Y/N bursted out laughing as Ethan carelessly threw himself on the backseat of his car. “You need to learn about the art of subtlety, Eth.”
“Oh that’s rich coming from the girl who attacked me in the middle of the arena.” he said grabbing her waist to guide her to his lap.
“Attack you? That’s not what I did” she scoffed.
“Yes you did. You attacked me with a kiss and then you led me to my car to corrupt me” Ethan said in a fake innocent tone.
“Corrupting the former man-whore?” Y/N arched an eyebrow.
Ethan’s eyes darkened “You’re right. Maybe I am the one corrupting you. I mean, you couldn’t even wait for us to get home to attack me again?”
“You’re insufferable. You’re so lucky you’re hot.”
“I am hot?”
Y/N nodded, looking at him. His muscled arms were spread on the top of the seats, grin plastered on his face and cheeks still rosy from the cold temperature of the arena.
“The hottest. And the best thing? That you’re mine.”
“Just yours, love.” he smiled sweetly, resting his forehead on hers.
“That list of yours is pretty… infallible, right?” Y/N joked.
“I can’t believe you know about the list” Ethan hid his face on her neck.
“You sticked it on the fridge and Tara took a picture” Y/N replied.
“Fucking Chad” Ethan groaned. “So, what do you think?”
“Well, it worked, right? You got the girl.”
“Yes, I did” he smiled hugging her tightly. “Should I do one on how to keep the girl?”
Y/N laughed “I don’t think you need that. Rumour has it, she’s totally in love with you.”
“Oh yeah? Lucky me, because I’m totally in love with her too.”
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leah-lover · 12 days
Text
Behind her eyes.WNBA!reader x Alexia putellas.
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Summary: Alexia and R's relationship is tested after what happened at one of r's basketball games
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Your girlfriend’s eyes were the reason why you fell in love with her. They were the first thing that caught your attention when it came to her and they are the thing you looked for when you were lost, upset or angry.
You first noticed her hazel eyes when she sat court side at one of your games in barcelona. You had just joined the catalonian team after the end of the wnba season. It was your first time playing in the Spanish league. In fact, it was your first time playing overseas and you didn't acclimate very well. You didn't know anybody, you didn't speak the language, you were just lonely and homesick.
It all changed on one home game, alexia came with a bunch of her teammates to support your new team, she sat courtside and watched attentivly as your team played valencia. You weren't feeling like yourself in your new home yet so you hadn't put on your usual performance. It all changed when you got fouled and fell directly in front of her. Angry, you wanted to pick a fight with the player that fouled you but you got distracted by a perfect face or more less a pair of dreamy eyes. They took you back for a moment and you kept thinking about them for a couple plays. You even glanced at her direction when you weren't moving the ball. She lit a fire inside of you, one that you have been trying to ignite ever since you left the US. You had to do better, you had to impress this person and leave an impression on her.
After the break, in the 3rd quarter, you put your game face on and started to direct play on the floor. You shot 3s, layups, blocked shots, assisted your teammates and over all controlled play. By the end of the game, the crowd was loud , and your team was leading the game by 20 points, which is the most this team has ever led with . You were happy, and you were yourself again.
You were celebrating with your teammates and coach when the social media manager came to you and asked you to come take a picture with alexia and her teammates. You got nervous all of a sudden but you tried to keep your cool. You introduced yourself, took the photo and tried as much as you could to memorize her features.
“ Hey, your shooting ability is impressive.” she says, her spanish accent apparent in her english.
“ What we do here is easy compared to controlling a ball with your feet, and running on the giant field you guys play in for 90 minutes.” you reply.
“ I guess every sport has its ups and downs.” she added.
“ You want to take some shots?” you invited her while bouncing the ball on the floor. She hesitantly accepted and so you helped her by correcting her form allowing her to take shots.
“ Holy shit you might be coming for my job.” you complimented her.
“ I don't think so. I am pretty attached to football, or as you people say soccer.” she says sarcastically, rolling her eyes.
“ don't count me in with those people calling it soccer and not football is pretty stupid.” you take another shot while holding eye contact with alexia. “ Besides, I am pretty damn good at my job.”
You two continue talking about the differences of your sports all the way down to the locker room where alexia’s teammates were waiting for her.
“ Come on, capi, we're gonna be late. “ says one of her teammates.
“ I came to one of your games, now it's your turn to come to mine.”
“ will do capi.” you joked before giving her a kiss goodbye.
Throughout the next couple of months you went to every game of hers you could and she did the same to you. You always stayed late talking, laughing, sometimes even practicing each other's sports after every game.
Talking after the game turned into dinners, then sex, and eventually you two started dating. You met her friends and family, and slept regularly at her house when you were in barcelona.
Your life seemed perfect, you were in your A game, you had a gorgeous girlfriend and you two loved the hell out of each other, you had friends in this strange new country who you would go out to brunch with on the weekend. You frankly were the happiest person in the world. Well, that only lasted for about 8 months.
It all happened at once in one second your perfect life came crashing down. During the playoffs, It was a regular 1v1 battle, you tried to turn around and make a shot but your knee thought otherwise and caused you to fall to the floor and scream out loud. The pain was inimaginable. Quickly, tears were streaming down your face, your teammates formed a huddle around you to shield you from the cameras, and the medic came rushing towards you.
“ hey do you hear me?” she asked. It was hard for you to focus. But all of a sudden it became clear, you didn't feel the pain anymore, and you stopped crying.
“ Non-contact injury, my knee, it's an ACL tear right?” you looked at the medic with a little hope in your eyes.
“ most likely. I am so sorry.” she said as she and her assistant tried to pull you up and help you hop to the locker room.
On the way there you look to your left and see a scared alexia. You looked at her eyes where you usually find solace and hope only to find sympathy and fear. She gave a reassuring smile but you looked at the ground immediately.
Once in the locker room, the medics began explaining the situation.
“ I know everything that’s gonna happen, I have been through this before. Its hard and it fucking sucks. I just want to go home now. I will be back tomorrow for scans.”
The medical team complies with your request and helps you go to the locker room to collect your things. Once you find yourself alone you smash one of your crutches on the ground multiple times, you bend the steel. You weren't proud of what alexia saw when she came in to check on you but you had to get the anger out of you. You would find out later that the crutch didn't get all of it.
Throughout the whole car ride flashes of the pain of rehab and hard work you put on only 3 years ago flooded your memory. You only got out of your head when you noticed the route that the car you were in was taking.
“ alexia i want to go home.” you say in a surprisingly harsh tone. She didn't look at you and continued driving.
“ alexia.” you repeat again.
“ You are not gonna scare me into pulling away from you.” she replied calmly.
“ Alexia, I just want to go home.” you say again not giving up your harsh tone.
“ we are going home amor. Home where I can be with you and take care of you.” .
“ I didn't ask you to. Just take me to my fucking house.”
What you said seemed to anger her so she pulled over. “ Let's get this out of the way now. First you are not going to drive me away, I love and I won't let you go. Second , you don't talk to me like that, not with that town and ot with those words. Third, call me Alexia again and you won't like what happens.” she shares eye contact with you again before putting her seat belt back on and driving home.
You didn't say a word through the rest of the car ride, you just dove into the sea of painful memories your brain prepared for you. When alexia notices your sudden change of demeanor, she puts her hand on your thigh only for you to flinch. You flinching at her touch meant that you were thinking about your past relationship and that's when alexia put two and two together.
You didn't realize that you two were home until Alexia opened your door and handed you your crutches.
“ alexia just take me to my house.”
“ We will talk about it upstairs, come one.”
You felt sick to your stomach, all you wanted to do was throw yourself in her arms and let her stroke your hair and scratch your back until you fell asleep.
Outside in the world and to the media your personality was larger than the world. You were loud, fun , playful, and funny. When you came you closed the door behind you and your girlfriend you craved to just lay on her and let her take care of you. However you were too proud to ever say anything out of fear she might not like the other side of the coin.
“Bébé talk to me please.”
You tried to keep your mouth shut. You tried so hard to swallow your words. But you could you couldn't keep it in anymore.
“ I am just so tired of pretending.” you whisper.
“ louder mi amor.”
“ This person I am about to become is grumpy, sad, angry and in pain. I am not gonna be the fun cocky person anymore. I have been through this before. It never fails to break me so please just take me home . I want to go home,and cry about my season at home that I lost. I want to cry about the fact that I will go through this miserable journey again. I want to cry about the fact that all I want is to be held by my girlfriend but I can't ask for that because I am afraid you will leave me. i just want to fucking cry.” by now you were hysterically crying and yelling. Alexia was holding you tight , her hands were becoming white.
“ I love you so much.” she just kept repeating that phrase over and over until you calmed down.
“ I will never leave you. I would love to hold you and take care of you and I don't pity you. You just had a fantastic season in a strange country and I am so proud of that and we will battle this together. “ she continued to rub your arms and whisper how much she loved you no matter what your mood was. You couldn't resist the temptation to drop your guard and be who you are anymore.
“ promise you will never leave me ale.” you plead.
“ I promise you that I will never leave. I am so sorry I didn't make you sure enough in my love for you. I promise you to do better.”
“ Can you help me take a bath and go to bed then. tomorrow is gonna be tough i need to sleep.
“ alright amor but first i want to hold you some more and stroke your hair.”
Somehow , She knew that that's what you ached for the most.
You turn your head and look into her eyes again to find love and admiration instead of the sympathy and fear that was there before so you relaxed and let her take care of you.
You knew since the moment you saw her that her eyes were your saving grace.
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spaceistheplaceart · 2 months
Text
A Human's Touch - HL2VRAI AMV
constantly thinking about the relationship between the game, the NPCs/science team, and Gordon/The Player
ID AND CREDIT BELOW:
BEGIN ID
An animatic set to the song "A Human's Touch" by TWRP. The visuals are timed with lyrics, so I'll type the lyrics in quotes "like this", then explain the visuals, then move onto the next lyrics. I hope this format works well for all, and if it does not- feel free to reach out!
"Am I a toy to you, my love?"
Benrey stares up through Gordon's computer, standing on a black and white grid. He is in a beanie and jumpsuit, like many citizens from Half Life 2. He has a small mustache and a shadow over his eyes. He has a neutral expression. With each word of the lyrics, the camera zooms further out to reveal he is in a computer inside Gordon/The Player's room. The room has a PC tower, a chair, a desk, a microphone, a shelf with a VR headset and games on it, and a few posters. One poster is of "Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days" and another is of two chimps grooming eachother. With the following musical beats, the room changes slightly to show passage of time. The chair moves around, things appear and disappear on the desk, and the chimp poster is torn down for another poster that says "Gamer's don't die, they respawn." On the final beat, the player is sat at the desk.
"Just a thing to play and then throw away."
A computer screen with four applications shown on it: steam, discord, garry's mod, and Half Life. A mouse cursor floats over Half Life before retreating. The screen is shut off and turns black.
"I never asked for this."
Benrey and Coomer sitting against a black background. Benrey is turned away, hunched a little. The lyrics appear on his side of the screen.
"I always did my best."
Coomer is turned to the side, looking up with his hands grasped together and eyebrows worried. The lyrics appear on his side now.
"Without your love I am..."
The Chuck E Cheese shown at the end of the series, drawn in black and white. The screen glitches.
"A broken mess."
The Chuck E Cheese is now worn down and broken. There's a banner hanging out of it that says HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO before it's ripped off. Minions are laying in one of the corner buildings. On the righthand side you can see partially graffiti that says BUBBY IS BEST. In the background is the citadel from Half Life 2.
"Now I'm never enough."
Tommy and Bubby sit against a black background. Tommy is facing the side, with a worried expression, wearing a suit, his propeller hat, a bowtie, and holding a briefcase on his lap. The lyrics appear on his side.
"And it's almost too much."
Bubby is turned away. His fist is clenched and producing fire. He wears a tattered labcoat. The lyrics appear on his side now.
"For me to work..."
Gordon, against a white background, limp with lines attached to his hands like a puppet. His face is not visible.
"I need..."
A side by side of the player lifting their VR controllers and Gordon's hands lifting limply in game in sync.
"A humans touch."
Gordon's hands drop to his sides again as his head lolls to the side, rolls back, then he opens his eyes- a VR headset flashing over them at "touch".
END ID
I took the screen turning off effect from this video
744 notes · View notes
kurikive · 2 months
Text
sticky | kim minji
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things between you and minji are... sticky this summer.
— childhood friends to lovers, summer trip, soccer player!reader, slowish burn, lowkey bromance, futchish READER 💜
contains : cursing, kinda slight makeoutism, a lot of bro and dude, just a little bit of angst but i promise its literally nothing, NOT proofread at all i am tireeeddd
wc: 13.7k words
inspired by : Sticky — KISS OF LIFE
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You're not really sure how you got here.
You’re watching the sunset at the beach with Kim Minji, your hand in between hers and the sand below you, your face two inches from her own, your lips two seconds away from colliding.
Actually, let's rewind.
It’s summer! It's been 3 long years of being away in Seoul. A soccer scholarship was always great, and you were having a fantastic time with your teammates and classmates, but you were completely burnt out after these exhausting last 6 months.
Korea University Anam Tigers proudly win 3rd place in the U-League for the first half of the season. 5 wins, 2 draws, 3 losses. Not too bad. You did better last year, but you're sure you'll recover and bounce back during the second half. Or maybe it was the alcohol and smell of grilled beef that was making you emotional.
After you finalize your amazing speech with a broken voice and a tear threatening to leave your eye, you realize you're actually quite drunk. The applause of your teammates startles you, and they may be mocking your sentimental state with their laughs and ‘aww’s and teasing pushes, but they cheer you on anyway.
“Han Y/N!” One of your teammates, Hsu Nientsu, also pretty tipsy, nudges your left arm as you sit back down, “Don't get so sensitive with us now!”
“Our Y/Nie gets emotional when drunk, huh?” Central striker Ahn Yujin, leader of the team, pinches one of your red cheeks from across the table, action to which you groan at.
“I just…” You sigh, drowsy and teary eyes block your vision yet you can still tell all your teammates are looking at you. “I really love our team and want us to do our best…” You make a mental note to never get drunk with your team again when they coo at you for a second time.
“Well then,” Oh Haewon starts pouring you another shot (she usually would make you pour it yourself, but your flimsy arms and hung head bring out the instinct to take care of you instead), “Let's climb up the leaderboard for Leftie!” She declares as she leaves the small glass of soju on your side of the table.
You hate the nickname. Nientsu came up with it the first year of your scholarship because when you were supposed to be in central midfield you spent most of your time on the left side of the field, for some reason. Her broken Korean and teasing nature muttered the name in an attempt to mock you and everyone started repeating after. You can't complain much about it. It stuck too well.
You take the shot and grimace at the bitter taste of alcohol. You're still not used to it even after countless team dinners.
Won Haneul, your roommate, best friend and goalkeeper, laughs at your expression. The other girls have already picked up their own conversation, yet she seems very entertained at your drunken state, “Unnie, are you sure you don't want to go?” You've told her multiple times to drop the formalities, it's a one year difference; she keeps refusing.
You look to your right and you (hardly) see her looking at you worried, but still smiling. It takes a couple seconds for you to process her words. “I… I think I should go.” You slur, you're sure you'll die if you take another shot.
Haneul nods, understanding as always. “Guys, I think me and Y/N unnie are gonna head back now!” You hear your teammates complain and whine but you can't make out anything they're saying.
“I'm too drunk!” You try your best to scold them, “And I have my last class tomorrow…”
A soccer scholarship didn't mean you were just in Seoul to play soccer and get drunk with your friends. You also had to study and attend classes, like everyone else. Maybe you would've had it easier if you had chosen Physical Education as your major. But no, you had chosen Media and Communication for some reason.
At least it was the last class before break.
“Go then! Quick! Get away!” You hear Jung Sunhye drunkenly shoo you two away. It makes you giggle. You wave goodbye to your teammates with your frail arms, it makes you look like a car rental inflatable. You hear a chorus of ‘sleep well’s and ‘Bye Y/N’s.
Haneul holds you as you walk out of the BBQ place, and then a cold wave of air hits you right when you realize you have to go up the hill to get to your dorm. You don't know if the chill you get in your spine is from the cool late night air or the dread of borderline hiking while drunk.
“Haneul, I'm sorry.” You don't even want to look at her in fear of getting dizzy. You're only a few steps up the hill but you're already breathing a little heavy. However, your apologetic expression is enough for her to understand your feelings.
“It's okay, unnie!” She's such a joy to have around not only as a teammate but as a friend. You hope her kindness never leads her to getting taken advantage of. You and the other girls would ruin the life of whoever could even dare.
“I'm really grateful for you, y’know?” You probably shouldn't talk while you're rapidly growing out of breath, but you're already sentimental.
“I'm flattered.” She says with a light laugh while pushing you from behind, making it easier for you to walk upwards.
“Are you going back to Suwon this summer?” You ask after a while of more heavy steps. Haneul had also gotten a scholarship and moved from Suwon to Seoul, therefore getting to be roommates with you.
“Mhm! Gonna go see my parents.” Her voice turns a little softer and you notice even when you're mostly out of your conscious mind. “What about you, unnie? Are you gonna stay here?”
It's been three years since you left your hometown and replaced the ocean with the river. Three years since you left your friends behind. Three years since leaving your mom and dad.
Of course you missed them. How could you not? It's not like you were avoiding them, the last summers were just filled to the brim with practice and studying and everything got tangled and you didn't even leave time for yourself.
That's over, though. You can already see yourself on the shore.
And then you're at the bus terminal. Hands shaky and heavy steps, just like the ones you took walking up the hill of your dorm building. You carry your backpack at your front and hold your gym bag on your left hand. You wait in line to step inside your bus and you think you're ready to fall asleep for the whole ride.
But once you're settled in your seat, your thoughts leave you restless.
There's a fear in the back of your mind that your friends will treat you differently when you arrive.
You've been gone for 3 years, and you talk slightly less now. But the group chat is still active, and you talk with them when you're allowed the time to. It's not like you've gone completely radio silent and disappeared from their lives.
It's just scary to be back.
But the scariest thing by far is the fear of being proven wrong. The fear of still liking her.
See, ever since you were a kid running around with a ball between your feet, you've had a crush on Kim Minji.
Neighborhood pretty girl. Class president in elementary, middle and high school. Best grades in your year. The most crushable girl ever.
You remember the first day you met her. You actually think about it a lot.
You were 7, playing soccer with your friend Gyuvin on the beach at sunset hours. There was no real goal to kick the ball towards, you were just trying to steal the ball from each other and keep it as long as possible. But then Gyuvin gets a little too close to taking the ball, and in panic you pass it to your right. 
But there's no one to your right. And you realize you've just kicked it towards three girls about your same age building a sandcastle.
You see the ball roll away further and further away from you and Gyuvin, and closer and closer to the castle, and the girls don't seem to notice.
You don't know why you're frozen. You could've stopped the ball by now if you had run after it. Gyuvin notices your lack of movement and becomes the one who shouts instead, “BALL!”
It seems to wake both the girls and you up from your daze, and suddenly you're running as fast as you can to catch the ball before it collides with the sand clump. And you manage to catch it.
You had thrown yourself into the sand, and the ball gets stopped by your arms. But your head crashes into the sandcastle instead. It doesn't collapse completely, and it didn't hurt that much, but it suddenly knocked you out for a few seconds.
You hear Gyuvin’s voice behind you when your mind is back in its place. “We're really sorry! We'll help you patch it back up!” You shake of the sand from your head when you sit back up, and you can finally take a good look at the three girls.
They looked pissed.
The smallest of the girls speaks, “I guess you can help. You're lucky it didn't fall on your head.” She points at you and you feel guilt engulf your cheeks with its warmth.
“Great!” Your friend helps you shake off some of the remaining sand off of your head, “Let's get to work, Y/N!”
You're confused at his enthusiasm, you were just playing soccer with him a few seconds ago and now he wants to build a sandcastle with some girls you just met? “But… we were-”
Gyuvin cuts you off, “It's the least we can do. We almost destroyed it.” It makes sense, but you're still a little reluctant. You grab a shovel anyways.
Your friend is already introducing himself when you start digging a hole into the sand, “I'm Kim Gyuvin! What are your names?”
The short girl with short hair that spoke to you before is the first one to answer, “I'm Hanni Pham! I'm from Australia but we moved here a year ago.”
“Your parents like fish, huh?” The boy's joke makes Hanni's mouth open wide and her eyes dilate a good amount.
“How did you know?!”
“I'm Seol Yoona.” Says a girl with a voice so quiet you have to ask Gyuvin what her name was right after she said it, “What did she say?”
“Seol Yoona.” He repeats, and you get back to digging with a nod, not before you give an apologetic smile to the girl.
The last girl introduces herself, “I'm Kim Minji.” You notice three things about her. Her voice is deeper than the other two girls, her eyebrows are really pretty, and she's wearing a blue clip on her hair.
All three of the girls are pretty, but if Gyuvin asks you later who you thought was the prettiest you are sure you'll say Minji.
Said girl notices you've been doing nothing but dig since you started introducing yourselves. “What's the hole for?” She says.
“I'm gonna put water in it to make wet sand. It's going to make it easier to build and harder to collapse.” And right after you say that you stand up, bucket in hand, ready to go and fetch water from the shining ocean behind you.
But just as you're about to go, the girl with the pretty eyebrows calls out again, “What's your name? You never told us.” Right.
“Han Y/N.” You tell her with a smile.
“Han Y/N.” She repeats your name back to you, like you're not supposed to know it already. It sounds pretty coming from her. 
The sunset glow crashes in the sea and bounces back into the eyes of the girl. You see them glisten as she looks into yours. Your heart starts beating as fast as it was when you were running around earlier.
“Don’t ever play soccer near my sandcastles.”
You look like an idiot, laughing by yourself in your seat. It's already night when you feel the bus stop in its tracks. You realize it's slightly warmer than when you departed, even at these hours of the night.
You're here. And you're not laughing anymore.
Everything you dread is getting closer by the second, and you don't want to face it.
It's been three years since the last time you saw your friends, since you saw Minji. Three years of only speaking to her in the group chat. Three years of believing you've gotten over her when in reality you were just getting distracted.
Because if you had truly moved on you wouldn't be worrying about moving on.
You step out of your bus and smell the scent of the ocean. Your worries fade away for the rest of the night. You'll worry about that tomorrow.
You're home.
It’s around 10:30 P.M. Knowing your parents they wouldn’t be asleep right now. They’re probably watching replays of soccer matches or some strange animal documentary. Even after three years you can tread lightly towards your home. Not much has changed.
The street lights are dim, and the wooden floor boards of the port are not much louder than the last time they squeaked beneath your feet. You take a picture of the moon watching over the dancing waves, then keep walking.
You wish you don’t run into any of your friends on the way to your house. It’s not like you don’t want to see them, but it’s late, and you couldn’t catch even a wink of sleep the whole ride. You just want to see your parents and sleep in between the warmth of their bodies like you did when you were just a kid. You chuckle at the memory.
You step into your neighborhood. Most of the lights are turned off, but you can hear a couple of things as you walk deeper into the block. Crickets, waves, and a couple different TV stations. 
You get closer to the neighboring house from yours. Gyuvin’s house. The lights in the first floor are off, but there’s a dim light coming from the window of the bedroom facing the street. It (probably still) belonged to Gyuvin himself. You don’t really know what he’s doing at this hour of the night, but you won’t bother him right now, even when you get the urge to text him something like ‘look out ur window’.
You hear the voice of a commentator from outside the door of your house. They were watching replays. Knew it. You think about what to do next. It’ll be too loud if you ring the doorbell, Gyuvin might notice you’re here and come around to investigate, And then you get a sudden, bright idea.
You set your gym bag on the ground and start typing your mom’s number to call her, clicking on her contact when it shows up. You take a big breath and wait for her to answer, it doesn’t take her long.
“Hello, baby! What’s going on?” There’s a twinge of worry in her voice but she always answers so happily when you call her. You chuckle deviously, mischief is about to begin.
“Hi mama! I sent you guys a surprise, I’m calling to make sure if the package arrived safely. Sorry about the time, by the way.” You try to mask the smile appearing on your lips as you talk.
“A package?” She seems confused, “I.. We didn’t get anything.” She sounds a little more concerned.
“Really? Can you check the door? Maybe it came late.”
“I don’t think it’d come this late, darling.”
“Just check, ma. Please.” You hang up. You feel a little sorry for leaving your mother bothered and confused, but you try to telepathically tell her it’ll be worth it.
Your heartbeat starts picking up its pace when you hear the door unlock. You put your phone in your pocket and pick your bag up again.
 When the door opens, the first thing you notice is your mom’s disheveled hair, probably from laying on the couch and watching TV. The second thing you notice is that her eyes immediately fall on the doorstep, and she frowns when she finds nothing. The third thing you notice is that, even before she realizes you’re there, she’s already taking out her phone to call you again, but she sees a pair of shoes in front of her before she gets around to doing that.
Her eyes travel from your old sneakers to the top of your head, and then they fall back at your face. Her jaw drops and her eyes look like they hold the moonlight in them when she realizes it’s actually you.
“Y/Nie…” She’s a little breathless when she says your name, and you laugh at the sound of rustling behind her. Your dad probably heard her.
“Hello!” You simply greet. Your father appears shortly behind your mother and you send a wave at him when you see he’s making the exact same expression as her. “Am I going to be outside all night? That’s how you greet your daughter?”
Your mother throws herself at you with a hearty laugh, it makes you happy too. “When did you get here?!” She asks, a little too loud for your liking, but you won’t complain. You pull away to greet your dad, who was frozen on the doorframe.
“Just now, actually.” Your father is in shock, but he does his best to hug you back, and the hug gets tighter when he finally understands it’s really his daughter. You giggle a little at his lack of words, then tap his back a little rougher when you start struggling to breathe, “Hey! Not so tight!”
He lets go and you hear him laugh more calmly now. “Let’s go in. Gyuvin doesn’t know I’m here yet and I want to surprise him tomorrow.” Your mom closes the door behind you, and then hits you on the back, quite roughly for your taste.
“How dare you not tell us you were coming?!” She rubs the same spot where she hit you when she hears you hiss at the pain, “It was a surprise!” You argue.
“Did you have dinner?” Your dad asks already in the kitchen, and your stomach growls even before you can respond. You giggle shyly at the noise, “I’ll take that as a no.” He says, “Go sit with your mom and watch TV with her. I’ll heat up something.”
“Oh, we’re not watching anything. You’re gonna tell me everything you’ve been doing.” Your mother taps the seat beside her on the couch, which you gladly take. “How was the season?”
You’re so happy to be back.
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You wake up with the sunrise.
You fully expected to open your eyes and be hugging your mom while your dad was already up in the kitchen. And that did happen, except you wake up with your back sore from falling asleep on the couch. Your dad is in the kitchen, making breakfast for you three.
You rub your eyes and yawn. It wasn’t that late, you woke up pretty early actually. 8:27 A.M. Maybe it’s because your body is used to waking up early. Your dad looks back at you and laughs at your messy hair, smiles brighter when he sees one of your mom’s arms sticking out of the couch. “Rise and shine!” He says brightly.
“Morning…” The sound of your croaky voice seems to wake up your mom, as she’s already rubbing her face.
“Smells good.” She says in the same tone as you. “Is it almost done?”
“I just finished. Come take a seat.” Your dad turns off the gas from the stove. The scent of kimchi jjigae fills your home, and it makes you feel a lot more energized even before having a taste of it.
You run your hand through your hair to try and make it more presentable. Your mother goes up to your dad to ask for a taste, he waits for her approval. You start setting the cutlery and it makes you think of the mornings before school, but rather than getting sentimental, you enjoy the moment with a smile.
“Y/Nie, do you want apple juice?” Your mom asks with the fridge open, you just nod as you sit down.
When the three of you sit down to finally eat, you start to realize how much you actually missed this. You spent your mornings in Seoul either eating a quick and not-really-filling meal, or eating an energy bar and a vending machine kimbap with your teammates before practice. You don’t remember the last time you had a hearty breakfast.
The sound of laughter and birds chirping combined with the smell of a home cooked meal and the warmth of a seaside morning couldn’t compare to any of the emotions that crossed your heart whenever you won a match. 
Your mom and dad gossip to you about your neighbors and everything you missed while you were away.
You don’t find it hard to believe when they tell you that the weird old man that used to drink his nights away at the port got arrested. One of your neighbors' sons dropped out of college to be a model, Kim Sunoo apparently. Good for him, you always thought he had a pretty face.
Supposedly, Minji keeps her title as the number 1 student even in college. You’re not surprised, but you do feel full all of a sudden. There’s just a little bit of stew left when you groan, “Ah… I’m full…”
Your mom raises an eyebrow, “Already?” She looks at your bowl and laughs, “Nevermind, you finished pretty fast.”
“Do you eat well in Seoul?” Your dad asks. You feel a little flustered at the question and stutter when you answer, “I mean… not in the morning, but I eat pretty healthily the rest of the day. Me and Haneul prepare meals when we have afternoon practice. I’d say we’re pretty good cooks.”
Your parents laugh, “I guess we’ll put you to the test one day.” Your mom nudges you, “And it’s ‘Haneul and I’, by the way.”
The correction makes your eyes roll as you stand up to wash your dishes, “Yeah, yeah, grammar queen. I’m gonna go take a shower and go to Gyuvin’s to surprise him, ‘kay?”
“Aye aye, captain!” Either your parents planned to do the same move and say the same thing at the same time beforehand, or they’re literal soulmates.
You get out of the shower and choose a simple outfit- some baggy, ripped jeans and a graphic tee that you found in your closet (you asked your mom if it was clean enough for you to wear, considering the closet looked a little dusty; she said it was fine). The shirt felt a little tight around the arms and it was quite smaller than you expected, but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. If anything it made the outfit more interesting.
So you stand outside your friend's house, with nothing in your hands but a smile on your face. You’re not really sure if it’ll be him or his mom answering the door, but you hope either of them will be happy to see you.
You ring the doorbell, and immediately hear footsteps get closer from inside. You don’t know if your heart is going to race everytime this happens, but you just hope you get used to the feeling. The door opens and you're met with a familiar face, Ms. Kim, Gyuvin’s mom, dressed up and ready to go to work. It’s summer, though?
“Y/Nie?” She looks delighted to see you, and yet quite surprised. “You came back!”
You give her a bright smile after you bow in respect, “Good morning, Ms. Kim! How have you been?” 
She steps back in a manner to invite you inside, “Oh, I’ve been well, dear. Gyuvin told me you weren’t able to visit these past years. We all missed you very much.” Her words surprise you, and you feel a little guilt squeezing your heart for two seconds.
“I’m glad to hear that, Ms.” She walks around the kitchen, packing what seems to be a lunchbox into her bag, yet still giving you her full attention. “Are you heading to work?” You ask curiously.
“Oh, yeah.” She looks a little agitated, “They don’t give me breaks, baby. I work for the news now!”
“Oh! How has that been going?”
She stops in her tracks, “Honestly, quite great.” She says, and you both laugh together. “Does Gyuvin know you’re here? I imagine he’s who you came to see.”
“He doesn’t.” The woman looks quite surprised. “I wanted to surprise him. I arrived just yesterday.”
“Oh honey, you’re gonna give him a heart attack.” She laughs and you chuckle, “I hope not!” You say,
“He’s in his room. He’s probably still asleep, but he’ll wake up if you knock hard enough. Make sure he doesn’t think you’re me, then he won’t get up.” The woman unlocks the door, coat hanging from her arm and bag over her shoulder, when she sees you nod. “I heard you won third place this half, right?”
“That’s right, ma’am.” You proudly say.
“Go Tigers!” Is the last thing she says before she walks out of the door. What a charming woman. You smile at yourself before walking up the stairs to your friend’s room.
Knock knock. No answer.
Knock knock knock. A groan.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. A louder groan.
“Kim Gyuvin, I will bust your door down.” You yell, “You think my legs haven’t gotten stronger?”
Fast stomps and the sound of a clutter of objects falling on the ground startle you slightly. The door opens so roughly you wonder if Gyuvin himself has also gotten stronger.
“Y/N?!”
“What fell on the ground?” You chuckle. He hugs you, possibly tighter than your dad. You didn’t quite expect it, but you welcome it anyway.
He pulls away like he’s checking if you’re not a hologram. You laugh the hardest when he pokes your cheek. He looks relieved, then mad. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! When did you get here?!”
“I got here yesterday. You were still awake, I think. But I wanted to greet you properly, and I was really tired last night.” You explain with a little bit of remorse.
“Dude!” He hugs you once again, “Bro, I can’t believe you're back!” You hug him just as tightly. “I’m really happy I’m here.”
He pushes you lightly with a smirk, “Don’t get sappy on me.” He teases, “Congrats on third place, tiger.” You cringe at the nickname and push him back.
“Eww!” You both laugh, and you notice the bundle of things he has on the floor of his room, “You dropped all that?”
Gyuvin looks back, and pushes you out of his room, closing the door in shame. Unbelievable.
You hear him pick up the things and put them back in place, until he finally opens the door again. You’re right where he left you. “Get dressed. Your mom made you breakfast.”
“Wait, help me pick an outfit!” You’ve been here for less than a day and he’s already being annoying. Like always.
“Bro, I’m wearing a shirt that’s too small for me, I am not the one to ask for fashion help.”
“That’s your fault for getting swole!” You hear him yell while you go down the stairs. Maybe nothing's really changed.
You’re back at the kitchen. You look at the lonely plate at the table, it doesn’t look very appetizing. It’s not like it’s a bad meal, it’s an omelet and toast, but when you touch it it’s abnormally cold. Fuck you Gyuvin. He was probably supposed to wake up a while ago.
You take the plate and place it in the microwave, one minute should be fine. You open the fridge and snoop around to see if they still- yup, they still have a box of the triangle juice boxes you and Gyuvin always shared at school. Apple was your favorite. You’re sure he or his mom won’t mind you taking one while you wait for the food to heat up.
You take the little plastic straw attached to the juice box and stab it into the designated hole. Just as you close the fridge, you hear the shutter sound effect from a phone. You turn around and see Gyuvin already dressed up and smiling at his phone.
“Did you take a picture of me?” You ask. The microwave beeps, “That’s your food.”
“Check the group chat.” He says as he walks past you to the microwave. You take out your phone and rest your elbows on the counter when you open up the group chat. Gyuvin named it “Beach boys”, even when he himself was the only male.
You’re immediately met with a picture of you from your side, stabbing a hole into your apple juice box. You looked at yourself in the mirror this morning, but you only realize how tight the sleeves of your shirt look when you stare at the photo. “Damn…” You mutter
“Ow! Ow! Hot!” Gyuvin yelps as he walks beside you, plate in his hands. He sits down at the table while you scroll back up to check the other messages.
gyuv | 9:44 A.M.
guys Y/N got so swole its actually insane
sully | 9:44 A.M.
Well yeah shes an athlete what were u expecting
henny | 9:44 A.M.
did she post something on ig?
where is this coming from
minj | 9:44 A.M.
Good morning first of all
gyuv | 9:45 A.M.
yeah but ud expect her legs to get bigger or her thighs idk
tell me why this absolute gremlin has bigger biceps than me
i feel threatened
this feels like a bro code violation
henny | 9:45 A.M.
this feels more like you just being insecure
i checked her ig and theres nothing?
sully | 9:45 A.M.
Vin are you hallucinating be honest
minj | 9:45 A.M.
Why gremlin
If anything the gremlin is hanni
henny | 9:45 A.M.
literally so out of pocket
what compelled you to say that
gyuv | 9:46 A.M. 
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henny | 9:46 A.M.
Gyuvin is that ur fuckign house
is that han Y/N in your fucking house.
minj | 9:46 A.M.
What the hell
You | 9:46 A.M.
hi guys!
henny | 9:47 A.M.
Han Y/N are you in gyuvins fucking house
You | 9:47 A.M.
possibly
gyuv | 9:47 A.M.
[1 attachment]
guys im shaking theres a uleague third place winner in my kitchen
im so honored
sully | 9:47 A.M.
Omg she did get swole
Hiii Y/N
gyuv | 9:47 A.M.
RIGHT
IM SAYING LIKE
U DONT EVEM USE UR ARMS IN SOCCER
henny | 9:47 A.M.
Y/N when the FUCK did u get here
im gonna start vrying omg
You | 9:48 A.M.
i got here yesterday at night
i wanted to surprise u guys but ig gyuvin got too excited
pham hanni DO NOT CRY
hi sullyyy !!
henny | 9:48 A.M.
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS
You | 9:48 A.M.
stop cursing so much omg
minj | 9:48 A.M.
This is actually crazy
How could you say nothing to us
I feel lowkey betrayed Han Y/N
You | 9:48 A.M.
IM SORRY???
so surprises are the worst thing in the world now huh
gyuvs mom was so much happier to see me than you guys fr
going back to seoul
it seems im not welcome
henny | 9:48 A.M.
Y/N actually stop playing rn
where do we meet
You | 9:49 A.M
me and gyuv will pick u guys up
were going to the soccer field
but i got money from the scholarship so we can buy stuff on the way
gyuv | 9:49 A.M.
guys just to be clear i had literally no idea she was here
she showed up at my house 20 mins ago
sully | 9:49 A.M.
Omg we can go to that antique shop thats close to our high school
henny | 9:50
literally how r u so calm abt this
minj | 9:50 A.M.
Maybe ur just abnormal
You cackle loudly at Minji's last text.
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When you arrive at Yoona's house, she's already waiting for you two on her porch. She looks a little taller than when you last saw her. Her eyes light up when she sees you arrive.
“Y/N!” She runs up to you and hugs you so tightly your breath falls a little short. What's with everyone and suffocating you lately? “I missed you so much!”
“I missed you too, Sully!” You smile at her when you pull back, and the first thing she does is poke your arm. Her jaw drops in awe at the toughness of the muscle and it makes you laugh.
Gyuvin comes up behind you both with his arms open and a silly smirk, “Where my hug at?” It's quite awful. Yoona gags and sends him a distasteful look, which quickly shuts him down
You missed this. And it’s like this - full of banter and laughs - the whole way to Hanni’s house, the three of you take turns at making fun of each other, with the brief recurring tease at your job as an athlete.
Your friends like to brag about you being a college athlete, and a good one at that, but they certainly enjoyed sitting you up on a pedestal as a joke. They talked about you like you were the main star of the national team when in reality most people had little to no idea who you were even on campus, with the exception of the Yujin fans who tried using you to get close to her.
“Y/N, I promise you, when you make it on the national team, there’s gonna be a ton of fan accounts for you.” You’re in the middle of pushing Gyuvin away and blushing at his comment, about to contradict him when you hear a voice calling you.
“Han Y/N!” You don’t even realize you were already at Hanni’s house when you look towards the sound and two girls are waiting for you at the steps of a big house.
The first thing you notice is Hanni’s hair. She cut it, a fuckass (affectionately) bob that looked exactly like the one she wore the first time you ever met her.
The second thing you notice is that Minji is right beside her, already smiling at you. She stands up from the steps she and Hanni were sitting on and shakes off the dust from her pants. She wears a simple white graphic shirt and oversized blue jeans, beige puffer jacket hanging off her arms, and she looks so much taller than how she did when she was 16.
(That’s weird, shouldn’t she have stopped growing by then?)
The third thing you notice is your heartbeat suddenly racing when her eyes and yours meet for the first time in three years.
It beats at the same pace it did when the afternoon sun hit her face when you were 7. It beats at the same pace it did when you stared at her sitting by the window in middle school. It beats at the same pace it did when she sat beside you on the bus and fell asleep with her head on your shoulder.
Nothing has changed. Nothing at all.
It hits you like a bullet through your chest, but you try your best to ignore it as Hanni runs towards you. 
“You asshole!” She yells with a smile on her face, and it contaminates your lips when she hugs you. She doesn’t hug you as tightly, but it’s longer than you expected. When she finally pulls away from you you touch the short strands of hair that cover her ears.
“What happened here?” You ask, watching in awe at the striking change.
“I kind of had an existential crisis last night.” She responds shyly while caressing her trimmed locks. “Minji helped me make it look better. It did not look good when I did it. They didn’t know either!” She points at the two behind you, both of them with their jaws hanging when you look back.
“Dude, you literally look seven again.” You say. You don’t mean it in a teasing way, she genuinely looks younger, but you reconsider telling her that when she hits you in the arm. Hanni widens her eyes at the unexpected roughness, “What the hell… you did get swole.”
“Can we stop talking about that?” The topic of your arms is starting to tire you, but it’s mostly embarrassing, so you groan at the mention.
You hear Minji laugh when Hanni goes up to the other two and they immediately start touching her new hair. It makes you laugh too, but you gasp a little when you feel a hand touch your shoulder.
“Hey.” She says, her god-damned pretty eyes look at you so sweetly, and her voice is so soft, and-
“Hey!” You say before thoughts about her take up your brain and you awkwardly freeze.
She smiles right before she hugs you, and it’s surprisingly warm, but you’re sure most of it comes from your own blood rushing everywhere inside you.
Everything about her is gentle, her eyes, her voice, her embrace. It’s a complete one-eighty in contrast to the tightness of everyone else who’s put their arms around you for the past two days.
“I missed you.” She says so delicately, almost quiet, even if she says it right next to your ear. And you’re about to melt, and she has no idea, so you hug her back, a little less soft than how she does, and say “I missed you too.”
It comes out a lot more calmly than you expect it, and you internally praise yourself for not making a fool out of yourself. It’s not like you want to pull away, but you might start sweating if you don’t.
You take your arms off her back and her warmth suddenly fades away. When she looks at your face again, there’s a small grin painting her lips, “Congrats on the win.” She pokes at your shoulder and you laugh at the gesture.
“It’s only third place. I want first.”
“Oh wow!” Her amused smile makes you dizzy, “Didn’t know you were so ambitious.”
“People change, I guess.” You giggle with her. But you haven’t really changed at all.
“Well, you better get first place, tiger.” She teases and you groan even louder at the nickname as you get away from her to join your friends. Maybe getting over Minji won’t be so hard.
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Getting over Minji is going to be fucking impossible. Matter of fact, you're sure it’s never gonna happen. You’re going to be 45 and still think about her, and it’s going to slowly kill you.
You stare as she holds a little cow plush in her hands, inspecting it carefully. Her round eyes shine just like the glossy buttons of the doll. You think of a believable excuse before you take your phone out of your pocket and open the camera app.
You zoom in and despise how your fingers tremble before you snap a photo of the girl, unbeknownst to her.
Gyuvin comes up behind you, his voice is quiet yet it still startles you, “What’s the pic for?”
You look at him with widened eyes and bring your hand to your chest. “Just… memories.” Truth lies within your (not quite) excuse. “I want to look back on things like this when I go back to Seoul.”
The boy narrows his eyes at you and smirks, “So sappy.” He teases, so you zoom out the camera to 0.5 and take a bad close up of his face, “Hey!” He laughs.
You get away and put your phone back in your pocket to look at more of the items in the store. Many things catch your eye, small, shiny, weird, big, you could buy it all if you had the money to.
You walk around the shop, your eyes examine all the items on the old wooden tables and your fingers lightly brush on some of the more eye-catching trinkets. You stare at the little ceramic figurines of dogs and cats and other animals and mentally consider buying the little calico cat on the far left.
There are some cute keychains with little black and white designs as you pass by. You add them to your roster too. Hanni’s voice catches your attention from a few steps away.
“Y/N! What do you think of this cardigan?” She’s in the clothing section of the store, sporting a vintage cream colored wool cardigan with little brown stripes on the sides of the sleeves. It’s a little big on her, but oversized is trendy so it’s fine.
“It’s cute!” Your eyes glance towards some of the clothes behind her, “I like that one better though.” You point at the blue-gray checkered sweater behind her and she frowns in confusion when she looks at it, “Y/N, that’s so ugly.” Guess you don’t have an eye for fashion.
“Oh well…” You sigh and keep looking for more artifacts.
As you walk around, you accidentally bump the top of your head on some of the ornaments that hang on the ceiling, the sound of multiple wind chimes emerge a little before your quiet “Ow!”, which grabs the attention of Yoona and Gyuvin.
“You okay?” The girl asks in concern, but you can hear her hold back a laugh between her teeth. Gyuvin isn’t so subtle, his laughs resonating on the walls of the shop.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” You assure Yoona as you rub your forehead with your eyes closed, turned away in embarrassment. When your eyes open again, they land on an item that makes you freeze a little.
A small, pale blue hair clip. It looked oddly similar, if not exactly the same as the one Minji wore on the first day you met. The clip she lost on that same day while the five of you swam in the ocean together.
You remember her being so upset when she realized it wasn’t there anymore, so much she cried silently on the way back to your respective houses. She was over the sadness of losing it in less than a week, but it stuck with you after Hanni told you in a whisper that it was the first time she ever saw Minji cry.
You immediately take the clip in your hands, the first item you’re certain you will buy. Actually, you buy it in that same instant. Thankfully, none of your friends seem to notice your quiet purchase, too engrossed in their own item search.
The five of you spend around 40 minutes in total in that damn shop, and you could kind of tell the owner was getting sick of Gyuvin’s constant questions on how he acquired the items. “They’re mostly donations or things I find on trips. I don’t know anything else.” He says.
In the end, you bought a few more things apart from the hair clip. You did end up buying the little calico cat figurine, a silver necklace with a spiral pendant, a pack of stamps with really cool designs, and a love letter.
There was a cardboard box sitting on a chair in one corner of the shop with a sign that said “Old Love Letters, ₩300 Each”, and not only is it something you’ve never seen anyone sell before, but it’s also cheap. How could you not buy a chance to snoop around in unknown people’s love lives? 
You put your stuff in the little tote bag Yoona had bought for you. She said the design made her think of you (it had three monochrome fish painted over it).
Now you’re making your way towards the nearest soccer field. You used to play there all the time with Gyuvin, sometimes the other girls joined, or some of the other kids in the neighborhood.
The five of you walked with you right in the middle, like you were the center of a K-pop group. It definitely made you stand out to the locals of the neighborhoods you passed through, and some of them even recognized you and went as far as to congratulate you.
Did your parents tell the entire town about your rank in the league?
“It’s like I’m walking with a celebrity.” Hanni voices just as you get back from shaking hands with one of the old men of the neighborhood. As much as you enjoy the praise and congratulations, it’s a little embarrassing to acknowledge you’re gaining a lot more fame within this town. You imagine this is how famous soccer players feel everytime they go out in public.
“Microcelebrity.” You clarify, “Aren’t you an influencer?” You recall Hanni spamming the group chat one time in the first year of high school because one of her Instagram posts had gone viral. After a while of her videos getting more and more views, she started gaining a small following and could be considered a daily-life influencer.
“Yeah, but most of my followers aren’t from here so I don’t get recognized everytime I go out.”
“To be fair, this is the first time this has happened to me. My parents probably told the whole town about this.”
“Oh, they sure did. Even my mom found out.” Minji states, to your surprise. Minji’s mother was well known for not liking any sports at all, and it’s not that she hated them, she just wasn’t interested. She didn’t even know who Messi or Ronaldo were.
“Wow… I knew they liked to gossip, but that’s… crazy.” You scratch your nape shyly. Your parents are known for finding out everything, but you didn’t know they also told everything they knew.
“She didn’t really know what anything meant but she was very happy for you.” She says with a smile.
Oh! There’s a strange giddy feeling that shows up as a smile on your face you can’t hold back. You’re not really sure what to say, but you don’t even have to worry about it, because before you realize you’re already at the field, and when the boys that are playing there take notice of your presence, all you can hear is screams.
Sounds of “Y/N Noona!”, “No way it’s Y/N!”, “You’re back?!” get closer as the match pauses and they start running towards you. Most of them are your high school classmates, some are your younger neighbors or underclassmen you played with during recess.
You get closer and they bombard you with hugs and questions, with countless reminders of how much they missed you. One of them complains about you not answering his texts, and another boy defends you by excusing your forgetfulness on being busy.
“Okay, okay. I’ll make it up to you with a match, okay?”
You end up playing for two hours straight, the first half with your friends as a team, but after a while it seemed like the only one with energy left was you. Not even Gyuvin could keep up your pace.
“No wonder she’s an athlete.” Hanni says, fanning herself under the shadow of a tree that trespassed the field enclosure. Your friends were all sitting down on the ground, watching attentively at the match you played against the boys while chatting.
It was 5v1 and you were winning 4-2.
Minji watched carefully at the way you carried yourself on the field, so graceful and yet not passive at all, a different perspective compared to how you usually are.
There's a little bit of sweat that glistens on your forehead, and after playing for such a long time you only now start to look slightly tired. “I pray everyday she makes it to the national team and gets rich.” Gyuvin says.
“Same.” Hanni answers, laying down on a blanket over the warm grass and resting her head on her bag and it makes Yoona laugh when she grumbles at the discomfort of feeling all the crystals she bought on the back of her head.
The boys score another goal at you, so you decide to get serious and start playing like you would at a normal university match. Minji stares when you run faster and slide through the opponents so easily. She kind of wonders if she could calculate your speed mentally.
Field length = 55 meters, Penalty area length = 9 meters
You were around 9.2 meters from the halfway line and traveled around 18 meters in a straight line, Minji counts 4 seconds.
18/4 = 5 m/s, 1 m/s = 3.6 km/h, 5 * 3.6 = 18 km/h
Han Y/N’s speed in that one moment was 18 km/h.
The average maximum sprint speed of La Liga athletes was 30 km/h, according to an NLM article (don’t ask Minji how she knows that; she isn’t even studying medicine).
Suddenly Minji feels the need to see you play an actual serious match.
“I don’t think you need to pray.” She says with a smirk, standing up from the ground and wiping away the bristles of grass stuck to her jeans. “She has it in the bag.”
The others notice her taking out her wallet from her pocket, “Can you buy me a Fanta?” Gyuvin makes puppy eyes at Minji, even while knowing they never work on her, or anyone for that matter.
She gives him nothing but a wave and walks away, “She’s not getting you shit, dude.” Hanni kicks Gyuvin in the back with the tip of her foot and Yoona laughs at the scene.
The grocery store is not far away at all, only a block from the field, and Minji treads lightly with her mind made up on what to buy. A bag of chips and two glasses of apple juice, and maybe a strawberry lollipop for Hanni, NOT cherry, she notes.
The owner is an older lady who used to babysit Minji’s mom. She’s seen her countless times in her life so it’s easy for her to greet her brightly. “It’s been so long, Minji!” The woman greets her, her aged features morphing into a kind smile.
It’s true, it has been a long time. She doesn’t really come here that often anymore unless she’s taking a walk out of boredom or walking the neighbors dog when she’s out of town. She used to come here all the time when you all went to play soccer, but the matches got less and less frequent after you left, mostly because the only one who actually wanted to play was Gyuvin.
Minji makes her way to the drink section of the store and lights up when she sees the chilled glasses of apple juice right where she remembers them being. She was honestly surprised you hadn’t brought a water bottle with you when you left, and maybe just water would be healthier and hydrate you better, but she’d rather make you happier with your favorite drink.
(You would’ve been happy enough even if she just brought you water.)
The glass is cold when it reaches her hand, a nice contrast from the heat of the afternoon sun. She was starting to get a little hungry so maybe instead of chips she’d get a sandwich. Maybe she’ll get two.
She excuses herself in her mind, she’s not excluding her other friends! It’s just… this day is about you, of course her focus would be you. And maybe tomorrow. And maybe the whole time you’re here. She laughs at herself while walking up to the counter. She meant it when she told you she missed you.
“That would be ₩4,200 but I’ll give to you for ₩4,000 because I missed you.” The woman beams her a warm smile and Minji can’t help but return it. She hands her 4,200 won anyways and is out the door before the woman can complain. “Bye, Mrs. Do!”
Minji walks back with a smile on her face, the wind hits and blows her hair back. Some leaves and dust get blown her way too but she doesn’t have to squint her eyes because they already do that when she smiles. 
The sun isn’t as bright and the rays don’t burn her skin anymore. She hears louds screams just as she’s getting closer to the field, and when she looks through the gaps of the metal enclosure she sees Gyuvin running up to hug you while the boys you were playing with fall to the ground in defeat.
She missed your win. Minji puckers up her bottom lip and sighs, shoulders shrugging helplessly.
You hadn’t even realized she had left until you see her enter the field again, so you send her a light smile she almost doesn’t catch. She looks back to the other girls and when her eyes meet Hanni laying on the grass she realizes she forgot her strawberry lollipop. Oh well.
She sits down next to Yoona and takes her sandwich out of her bag.
“What’d you buy?”
“Just stuff. Nothing for Gyuvin.”
Yoona laughs at the comment. “The apple juice is for Y/N, right?” Minji nods as she looks at you tap the boys on the back to cheer them up, “You can have the other one if you want.”
Minji was just about to open the packaging of her sandwich when she sees you and Gyuvin walk towards her. She quickly stops her actions and takes the other cold glass from the plastic bag, struggles a little to open the lid, and just as you take your last step she holds the cold apple juice to your face, or the closest to it her arm could reach.
You’re a little taken aback, but luckily you don’t blush at her act. Instead you just smile at her, mirroring Minji’s own kind smile and take the glass from her hand. “Thanks.” You say before you take a sip.
Both of your hearts feel full, yours at the flavor of apple that fills your tastebuds and calms the thirst of running for hours, and hers at the fact she made you even just a little happy with such a small action.
You gulp down probably half the glass down and end it with a “Ah~” that makes your friends laugh. “You still do that?” Hanni sits up and rests her hands behind her on the grass.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve done that since you were a kid.” Minji says and your eyebrows raise,”Really?” All your friends nod.
“I never noticed.”
Minji goes back to her sandwich as you and Gyuvin sit down in front of the other three. You’re tired now, but you don’t wanna lay on the grass because you say it makes you itch, so you try resting your body weight on Gyuvin, to which he adamantly pushes you away, “You’re heavy, Y/N!”
“What the hell, bro. I’m literally not?” You pout at him to try and get him to surrender but he just pushes you away harder every time you try to lay your back against him.
“Go lay on Minji or something, not me.” He says as he pushes you for the last time, you hear Hanni laugh.
You look at Minji and she’s already putting away the plastic bag she had on her lap. Oh, okay, yeah, no biggie. No problem at all.
You do a great impression of acting normal and move to sit next to her. “The shadow is better on this side anyways.” You fake whine at the boy as Minji grabs your shoulder and guides you to rest your back on top of her legs.
You turn your body so that you face her and hope she can’t tell your heart starts beating faster when you notice she’s already looking down at you. It’s a beautiful scene.
Minji’s face, the green leaves of the trees behind her and the sun peeking through the gaps, the wind blowing her hair a little to the side, the way her eyes smile at the same time she does. “Hey.”
“Hey.” You answer.
Everything about this is normal! You have to close your eyes so you believe it, and you start to after a few seconds. Everything about this is normal. It feels so normal and you love it.
It’s soothing. The wind caresses your face and you lose focus on the conversation your friends were having beside you.
And then Minji starts running her fingers through your hair and you lose focus on anything that’s not her.
Your heartbeat picks up for a few seconds and then it doesn’t. And then it’s all calm again. Your eyes are closed but your mind pictures Minji so vividly, smiling at you sweetly while her eyes. Her loving eyes.
God, you hope you’re not blushing, because you can already feel yourself getting warm all over. Thankfully, the gentle breeze is there to save you when you need it.
 And then there’s a moment where everything, the breeze, Minji’s hands caressing you, and the sound of playful conversation, all merge at the perfect moment and you experience a calm that feels heavenly. Almost divine, and it sends you into instant slumber.
You don’t really remember every detail of what you dream of, you just remember it being about Minji, Seoul and snow. Either way, you know it had something to do with her confessing her feelings to you after you win nationals. You remember that you froze after she kissed you, then called your name after she saw you not move.
“Y/N! Y/N!” You hear your name being called out, then your body being shaked roughly. “Y/N!” You hear loudly before you wake yourself up.
“Sorry!” You don’t know what you’re apologizing for until your body jerks away and your forehead almost hits Minji’s. “Oh, sorry.”
“You fell asleep.” She states the obvious with a giggle.
“No shit, queen.” You hear Hanni laugh loudly at your response. “How long was I out for?”
“It’s 5:25.” Yoona says behind you, only then you realize they were already packing up and it was time to go. Where? You have no idea.
“Shit. Sorry guys.” You sit back up and stretch your muscles before you can stand properly.
“My legs fell asleep, you know?” Minji announces, and when you look back at her she has a teasing smirk on her face.
“Yeah, well, maybe blame Gyuv for that.” You answer sassily, but you can’t help but feel a little guilty.
Said male goes to grab the tote bag Yoona got you and the half finished apple juice you left behind and holds the bag it to your face while you’re still stretching, “Hurry up, girl. We gotta go to the beach before sunset.” He throws the bag at you and you catch it just in time.
“Careful! I have a cat in there!”
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You arrive at the beach at exactly 6:00 P.M. and as soon as you get to the sand Gyuvin is already taking his shoes and shirt off. You look at everyone, confused on the plan you never actually listened to.
“We were going to swim?”
“Do you not want to?” Hanni asks.
“I don’t know…” You look at your friends with a sorry expression. You were already worn out from the whole match, and even after you slept a whole two hours on Minji’s lap, you still felt a little tired. “I’m kinda drained guys.”
“Bro… How could you?” Minji looks at you like she’s so betrayed and you laugh at her annoying little face that’s also so pretty and cute and annoying
“Bro… I’m sorry.” You play along. Calling the love of your life “bro” is crazy.
Okay, “love of your life” is an exaggeration (it’s literally not, in every sense of the word literally).
“I’ll watch your bags and take pics!” You tried bargaining, and they look at you like you’re crazy. “Guys, please, we can come swim tomorrow. The beach is not going anywhere considering we literally live beside it.”
Then Yoona gets real close to you and whispers, “You’ll pay for this.” then takes off her shoes.
“What the hell, man.”
Gyuvin and Yoona are already running at the sea and splashing each other, they don’t actually care about you not joining. Hanni hands you her bag with a strange force and you don’t know where it came from, “Take care of my babies.” She says.
“Your… babies?”
“My crystals.”
“Oh, right. I will.”
Minji walks up to you when Hanni walks away and hands you her jacket and another bag, this time plastic, “There’s one sandwich left in there. I told Gyubin not to eat it and I didn’t think he was going to listen but he did, surprisingly.” She tells you with a smile.
“Thanks. Very thoughtful of you man.” Alright, pack it up.
Minji sends you one last smile before she leaves and your heart beats when her eyes squint too. You watch her disappear into the waves and smile. You take out your phone and take a picture of your friends all swimming and playing in the water, their silhouettes clashing with the sun that was just about to set. It’s so pretty you make it your lock screen immediately.
You take out a blanket from Hanni’s bag, the same one she was laying on in the soccer field, and spread it on the ground to sit down. You take off your sneakers before they get filled with sand and take comfort in the warmth of the sand beneath you.
You stare at your friends for a bit, a beautiful picture presented just for you. You’re so happy to be back. Your stomach lets out a loud grumble before you even get to tear up. What a way to ruin the mood.
You take the bag Minji gave you and take out the sandwich. Ham, bacon, cheese, lettuce- oh, who cares. You take a bite out of it and it tastes like home. She definitely bought it from Mrs. Do.
It eases your hunger quite well. You hear the waves crash and Minji’s laugh from far away and, what a beautiful sound. What a beautiful person. You think of Minji and think of beautiful, not just from her appearance but her soul. What a beautiful soul.
You take your last bite and your stomach feels full, but you feel a little empty and can’t pinpoint what it is. You feel like you’re forgetting something. You reach for your new bag and search for whatever it seems you're forgetting.
Oh, right, the letter. Suddenly you feel excited.
The sun starts just in time. What a way to set the mood. You take out the white envelope and notice it still has some scent remaining. It kinda smells like something Minji used to wear, jasmine and liquorice. You didn’t smell it on her today, though.
You notice the envelope doesn’t have a sender or recipient name anywhere on it, nowhere at all. Maybe they didn’t plan to send it, or they changed the envelope at the shop. Eager to know more, you rip the envelope, careful not to damage the letter itself.
You take it out and take a deep breath to prepare yourself. You’re probably a little more excited than you should be, but whatever. You’re excited to intrude on a stranger's possibly failed love confession.
Except when you unfold the page, it’s not from a stranger.
You panic and fold the letter closed just as fast as you had opened it. You must have misread, right?
You open it again and the top says “Kim Minji, 23rd of June, 2021” like it’s a diary.
It must be another Kim Minji. There are hundreds of thousands in South Korea. It could be anyone. Anyone at all. So you keep reading in hopes it’s someone who’s not the girl swimming in the sea just a few meters away from you.
Dear Y/N,
It’s not a stranger. It’s Kim Minji. Your Kim Minji. You’re reading an old love letter from Kim Minji. You bought a love letter from Kim Minji for 300 won.
Wait, why is it addressed to you?
Now, you’re more confused than shocked. Now, you have to find out. You were going to put it down and not read it to not intrude and break your own heart, but now you have to find out why on Earth the first two words are Dear Y/N written in Kim Minji’s handwriting. So you keep reading.
Dear Y/N, I hope this finds you well. If you’re reading this, I gave this to you on the 24th or maybe even earlier on a strike of confidence. I hope you’re not keeping yourself up to read this at midnight. I wanted to tell you something I’ve been keeping for a long time before you leave for Seoul. Maybe it’s a selfish thing to do, and it won’t keep you from departing, but I think it would be worse to tell you this through text and I can’t bring myself to say it to your face.
I have feelings for you. Real romantic feelings. I like you a lot.
I like possibly everything about you and it’s killing me that I’m so scared and unable to tell you. I don’t even know what I’m so afraid of, really. Probably rejection, but even if you did like me back I still have to live without you for four years. My wish of you coming to visit me will probably depend on how harsh your rejection is, but I’d still like to see you back regardless.
When you first told us you got that scholarship for Korea University, I was so happy and proud of you. In a perfect world I would have kissed you and told you how happy I was for you and maybe even gone with you. But it’s not a perfect world and I just told you “Congratulations!” and you’re leaving tomorrow, without me. 
I’m not one to take pictures, if anything that’s you, but right now I wish I had an album full of photos of you, of us, because I don’t know how I’ll make it without seeing you everyday. I think I won’t, actually. I hope you consider letting me borrow the photo album full of the countless pictures you take, even if they’re not of you they might fill the void you leave in my heart.
Anything from you will suffice, I think, but just your memory is not enough.
I kinda wish you could stay, but I also know you’re going to do your best over there and I hope you fulfill your dream of being a professional player. When you said you were going to choose to study mass communication I thought “that must mean she’s going to communicate with us a lot!” I hope it does. I hope you don’t miss us too much, but I do hope you miss me a little bit more.
I’ve never written a love letter before, if you could even call this that, so excuse me if this is not a good one, I’m sorry. I should probably state what I like most about you, but I don’t even know where to begin.
I love the way you’re driven to do your best even at the smallest of things. When we first met, you built us the best sand castle I had ever seen in my short life of seven years. The sandcastle was still standing when we went to visit it the next day.
You do your best at school, even when it gets hard for you, and I love that you’re not afraid to ask for help when you really need it. I kind of envy that if I’m honest. I hope you become the best student in your major.
I remember the time we babysat Ms.Yoon’s daughter and you were the only one who knew how to change her diapers and at what time to feed her. I also love how good you are with kids and sometimes it makes me think of very inappropriate thoughts of building a family together, but I won’t get into that because I don’t want to be weirder than I’m already being right now.
I love the way you always try your best to make me smile when I’m upset or stressed and even just the thought of you going out of your way to care is enough for my heart to melt. When I got sick in middle school while my mom was out of town you came to my house every day and made me chicken soup. I think that was the day I started thinking of you as more than just a friend.
I love the way you look when you put your hair up in a ponytail. I used to stare at you the entire time we watched you play during recess in middle school.
I love the way you’re clumsy and you’re never embarrassed about it. You always get up when you fall and you don’t pretend it doesn’t hurt when you scrape your knees. And I love the way you still try to smile when I’m patching up your wounds.
I love the way you always want the best for us and encourage us to be ambitious. I wouldn’t be on top of my class if it weren’t for you.
I love the way you like cats and they like you back. They always hiss at me unless you’re around. Maybe it’s a sign that we should be together all the time.  
I love the way you say Ah~ when you finish drinking water after playing soccer.
I love (you) the way you love apple juice. I hope you feel the same. – Kim Minji
P.s. if you don’t i also understand and you’re free to do whatever you want with this letter.
You have no idea at what point you started to tear up, but you only realize when a tear falls from your eye into the paper and blurs the ink in the last “Minji”. 
You don’t even process anything around you at that point. All you can think about is that Minji liked you 3 years ago and never told you and now you don’t even know if she still likes you.
No matter how much you think about it, you would’ve absolutely given her your photo album, if only the letter had actually gotten to you when it was supposed to.
“I saw you open the letter from over there, I came here to be nosy.” You can’t tell anything she says because you’re so entranced but you can tell it’s Minji’s voice. You freeze when she sits beside you.
“Is it any good?” She asks before realizing you’re completely paralyzed. “Hey, are you crying?” She touches your shoulder in concern, and it wakes you up a little bit, but the only thing you can do is hand her the letter.
She stares at you for a few seconds before she finally takes the page and mutters, “Oh.”
You don’t really want to look at her, and you don’t know what comes over you that makes you turn your head anyways. The red sun rays hit her face in a way that makes her tan skin glow. Her hair is damp and her shirt is stuck to her body but you don’t dare to look.
She’s clearly just as shocked as you are to see the object in her hands. And she still looks so beautiful. “Y/N, I-” You wipe your tears and sniff before she turns and see them in your eyes.
“Was this the one you bought?” You nod, and she looks back at it with her mouth hung low. “I… was wondering where this went. I thought I lost it.”
“You didn’t send it? At all?” Minji shakes her head. Wow, this is so great. “Why didn’t you?”
“I was supposed to give it to you before you left. I was hoping it would make you stay, but then I thought I was being too selfish and… just didn’t.” There’s clearly some regret still left in her face and the wind starts to blow. You hand her the jacket you put down next to your friends’ bags. “Thanks.” She says as she puts it on. You turn away to look at the sunset and gather your thoughts.
There’s no expression on your face for Minji to read, and for some reason she starts getting worried. “Y/N… I- It’s been three years, you don’t have to worry about-”
“Do you still?” You ask while looking away at the sea.
Minji stays quiet.
“Do you?”
She still keeps quiet. You turn to face her.
“Please tell me the truth, Minji.”
There’s something about how the sun makes your eyes glow and how you say her name that sabotages Minji at not giving in.
“Yes.” She speaks out with a sigh, “I do. I still do.”
You don’t know if your heart is beating faster or slower, but you feel it beat stronger. You turn away to get your bag, Minji just watches, her eyebrows slightly furrowed in distress and curiosity. The only thing she wants right now is to know how you feel.
You reach inside your bag for something, and Minji can’t really tell what it is when you take it out.
Finally, you extend the pale blue hair clip in your hand, “I have liked you since we were seven, Minji.” The girl looks at the clip then at you, her round eyes widened in disbelief.
“Are you serious?”
You hold your hand closer to her, urging her to take the gift before you sniff once again, “I saw this and thought of you. It looks like the one you had when we first met, that’s the day I started liking you. I haven’t stopped since.”
Minji takes the clip from your hands and feels herself tear up, says nothing, stares at it, then stares at you.
“We’ve known each other for thirteen years and I’ve loved you for thirteen of them.”
“I had no idea.”
“We had no idea.”
“We knew nothing about everything.” It’s now Minji’s turn to sniffle but still smiles as she wipes away the tears that threaten to fall from her eyes.
“How could you never say anything? Thirteen years, Y/N.” Minji complains while caressing the blue clip in her hands like it’s a precious stone. “Thirteen.”
“I got distracted with soccer.” Minji laughs with you and pushes you away by the shoulder. “Every goal I’ve ever made has been for you, though,”
“That’s so cheesy.” Minji giggles to herself as she pops the clip open and places it on her hair, it snaps shut with a ‘click’. “What do you think?” She says, turning to you. She tries to ignore your eyes and how sweetly they look at her.
“I think I love you more than I love apple juice.”
That’s the last thing you say before Minji smiles and gets shy, she looks away but her hand searches for yours and you help her by placing yours over hers. She fights back by taking it back and placing hers on top of yours. It makes you laugh.
The sound of your laugh takes her attention and now she stares directly at you, a smile on her own face. Her cheeks now take a reddish color, and her eyes shine like the reflection of the sunlight on the water. It feels like a deja vu.
You think you could stare at Minji’s face all day and not complain. You think maybe she thinks so too with how intensely she’s looking at you.
You raise your eyebrow when her eyes trail down from your eyes to your lips, and she seems to notice when your lips form a smirk. “What?” She giggles at herself, her already red cheeks turn an even darker shade.
“I saw that.”
“Weren’t we about to?”
“So straightforward, You should’ve been like that when sending that letter.”
“Oh my god, shut up.”
Is the last thing she says before she leans forward, she hesitates a little bit and her eyes go from your lips to your eyes, a shine of expectancy as if asking for permission, even when she already has it.
She’s about to close the gap when the both of you hear a chorus of gasps from the sea. It takes your attention. Hanni, Gyuvin and Yoona are all pushing each other giggling and gasping, hands on their mouths. You hear a faint “It’s finally happening.”, You can’t tell who it’s from though.
Minji is visibly annoyed, yells “Look away!” and it bounces in the waves. It’s actually insane how dumb she looks, red cheeks, furrowed eyebrows, pouty, perfect lips. It takes you everything to control yourself and even then you still can’t help grabbing her face gently and turning it towards you to finally, once and for all, kiss her.
You don’t really care if your friends actually turned away or not, because you can’t really tell with how glorious it feels to kiss Minji. It almost feels holy. You feel like you died and went to heaven in five minutes.
It’s a new feeling, a new experience, and it feels so familiar at the same time. Like flowing with the waves, like dancing with the wind, like drowning in apple juice, drowning in love.
Your lips dance like that for a while. At one point Minji’s hand goes up to your face and it’s such a warm feeling it makes you smile into the kiss. You start running out of breath and you don’t even notice. You could die happily if it meant dying with Minji’s lips on yours.
But then your stupid survival instincts kick in and it’s such a shame you have to pull away.
Both of your breaths are heavy and you burst out in laughter at the same time when your eyes meet. When your laughs die down your eyes fall on the pale blue clip that adorned Minji’s head. “You look so cute.”
“Says you.”
And then you hear cheering from the beach again. “Finally!” Hanni yells. You watch in astonishment, “Did she know?” You ask Minji while the both of you watch the three of your friends jump up and down in the water.
“I have no idea. I didn’t tell her. She might’ve noticed.” The cogs start to turn in your brains.
“They all did.” You and Minji say at the same time, then laugh at the same time. What a friendship of thirteen years does to you. And when you see Gyuvin and Hanni get up from the water and get closer to you, you realize you’re about to be ambushed.
“Oh, hell no.” You mumble right before you stand up and grab your bag. Minji just looks at you confused, “Come on, get up. They’re wet.” But Minji doesn’t seem to cooperate.
“Dude!” You grab her hand and pull her up as you run away as far as possible from your friends. You don’t even realize where you’re going, but laughing with Minji while running on the sand at sunset feels heavenly.
You look back and Minji struggles to keep up. Gyuvin and Hanni don’t look anywhere close and they probably decided to just let the both of you go, so you stop running.”
“We…” Minji rests her hands on her knees as she catches her breath, “We didn’t have to run that much. I’m not the soccer player here.”
You send her an apologetic smile, “Sorry…” 
Minji now can stand up and breathe stably. She looks back and there’s no one behind. “So, where do we go now?”
“Home. You need to get changed or else you’re gonna get sick.” You walk towards her to touch her shirt, “It’s still damp.”
“Isn’t your house nearby?” She asks, “I live further away, and it’ll be night by the time we get to my house.”
You squint your eyes at her, “My clothes won’t fit on you, they barely fit on me.” You flex your bicep and the sleeve gets so tight it’s going to cut your blood flow if you keep it like that. “And I haven’t seen your mom yet.”
“And I want to have dinner with your parents.” She confesses. “My first official meeting with them as your girlfriend.” You never actually established that but it’s not like you’re going to refuse the offer.
“You’re actually so annoying, bro.”
“Says you, bro.”
“I’m your girlfriend, bro.”
“No shit, bro.” Minji holds her hand out for you to take it, and you gladly do. You start walking in silence for a little bit.
“Also, my mom won’t let us make out at my house.”
“Okay, that’s enough, bro.” You take your hand back and walk faster to get away from Minji. She immediately sprints to catch up and stick to you.
“I was kidding!” She tries to grab your hand but you refuse it and take it back. “Hey! Hold my hand!”
You look at her and wouldn’t you know, she’s making puppy eyes at you. It makes you give in, it never fails. “You’re so sticky.”
“You wanna know something?” She says as you start walking together again.
“What?”
“When you kissed me it tasted like apple juice.”
end.
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🗒️ probably one of my favorite things i've written i giggled a lot and had fun writing this.. there's probably lots of mistakes here and there but i beg u pls ignore it bc im dizzy i can't look at words anymore. Minecraft coming soon! love u guys 🫂
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woso-dreamzzz · 7 months
Text
Injured VII
Alexia Putellas x Child!Reader
Jenni Hermoso x Child!Reader
Summary: Alexia tries to get her act together
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For as long as she will ever live, Alexia will never forget her mother's face that day at Alba's door.
She will never forget the genuine horror on her mother's face even as she took control of the situation. She will never forget that night when Alba slammed her against the wall after the final of the Copa de la Reina. She will never forget the way you hid behind Jenni's legs after your ballet lesson.
It's all she thinks about even as she sits in the rocking chair with a sleeping Jaume in her arms.
"Ale?" Olga says sleepily," It's three in the morning. Come back to bed."
Alexia doesn't want to. She doesn't want to let Jaume go but she doesn't want to look at him either.
He was so perfect. His birth had been quick and easy unlike yours. Alexia had felt an instant connection to him, unlike when she suffered a bought of post-partum depression with you. He was so soft and so perfect and yet...
Alexia couldn't believe that she has pushed you away in favour of him.
She had a beautiful son and daughter. Two children, not one.
She thought having a sibling would be the best thing for you. She wanted to build a family with Olga. She never considered that she hadn't actually included you in that family.
"Alexia," Olga says, a bit more awake now," Come on. He's due for a feed soon. I'd like some sleep before that."
Mechanically, Alexia places her son back in his crib, wiping away some of the drool on his face as she allows Olga to lead her back to bed.
A sense of numbness follows her now and it's clear to everyone.
Word has spread amongst the team now about what has happened. They know the bare minimum, only that Alba took Bambi and that Jenni has dropped everything to fly across the world for you.
No one knows why, officially. It's clear that Mapi and Ingrid have informed a few team members. Paredes, in particular, cannot look Alexia in the eye anymore and some of the younger players are wary seeing that.
Her life is falling apart. She had no idea you were the linchpin holding it all together.
Olga lays next to her, head pillowed on Alexia's chest.
"You're so tense," She says," Relax. Everything's going to be fine."
Alexia scoffs. "Is it?"
Her question hangs in the air for several minutes. Neither of them speak. Neither of them move.
"Yes," Olga says eventually," You need to stay positive, Alexia. If not for yourself then for your daughter-"
"Your daughter?" Alexia echoes Olga's words perfectly," My daughter? Is she not ours?"
The silence is telling and Olga rolls over and away.
"Is she? Jaume is ours. y/n is yours."
Alexia sits up in bed, reaching over to flick a lamp on. This wasn't a conversation she could have in the dark.
"We have a son together. We're going to get married. In what world is Bambi just mine?!"
"In every world!" Olga sits up too. "She has always been yours, Alexia! I am just the woman her Mami is marrying! Nothing more, nothing less!"
"How can you say that?! We're making a family together! Bambi is included in that family!"
"Of course she is but when have I ever taken that role in her life?! You took her to football! You take her to ballet!"
"She stays home with you all day!" Alexia bites back, standing now until they're both yelling at each other over the bed. "You make her lunch! You keep her occupied!"
"And you do her baths and her bedtime routine! You do her morning routine too! God, Alexia, I am essentially her glorified babysitter! You have never once let me take over those things!"
"You didn't ask?! Olga, if you wanted to do that stuff just ask me!"
"And be rejected? No! You've never given any indication that I was even allowed to try!"
"Because I thought you didn't want to! Bambi has always been mine! Forgive me for not knowing how much to put on your plate. I was trying to make this transition easy!"
"An easy transition?! Alexia, I was pregnant! I was already thrown in the deep end! Adding a self-sufficient kid wouldn't have been much worse!"
They're both screaming at each other now and Jaume clearly hears the noise because he cries from down the hall.
Alexia takes a deep breath, eyes shutting briefly as she counts to ten to calm herself.
Olga goes to get Jaume, moving out the door.
"If we're going to get Bambi back," Alexia calls after her," Then we have to both want her!"
The forms about your ballet class lay on the kitchen table when Alexia gets up the next day. Things were frosty last night when Olga came back to bed with Jaume but they seemed to be looking up when Olga said that they would have a mature conversation about the Bambi situation when Alexia got home.
Alexia picks it up as she eats her breakfast, skimming through it. It's for an extra class on Thursday nights (five until seven) on top of your usual ones. Apparently, it's for those little kids that have real potential. As in, the potential to be great.
Alexia had been one of those kids but for football instead of ballet. She had excelled. She was one of the greatest in the world now all because her father saw the potential in her and signed her up for a team.
She had tried to do the same with you. She took you to the under-fives Barcelona team but it hadn't turned out how she want it to. The other children had left you in the dust. Alexia had hoped that it would be a one time thing, that the first session was a fluke.
You were already so different to her and even back then, she knew that when Jaume arrived things would be different.
She'd tried to get you into football so you would have something to bond over together, at least until Jaume was big enough to play with you.
But it wasn't meant to be and her Mama had insisted in signing you up for something else.
Originally, Alexia had planned on it being another team sport, desperate to have something at least similar to football that she could cling to.
Instead, her Mama had reminded her of last Christmas when the family went to go see the Nutcracker and how enamoured you had been.
Ale's Mama had pushed and pushed for ballet and Alexia was glad that she had.
The forms sat signed on the kitchen table as Alexia washed up her bowl and dialled a number on her phone.
"Hola, Mama," She says," It's about Bambi..."
It's after training that Alexia goes to see her Mama and sister. They meet up at Eli's house and all crowd around the kitchen table.
Jenni is there too and when Alexia asks who is looking after you, she's told that Mapi and Ingrid have taken you for ice cream.
"I don't like this," Alba mutters from where she's leaning against the wall. She's the only one not sat, arms crossed over her chest. "How do we know that she's not going to take Bambi home and neglect her again, huh?"
It's the hardest words Alexia has ever had to say but she pushes them out of her mouth. "I don't want you to give me Bambi back, not now at least."
"What do you mean, Alexia?" Her Mama asks.
"I...I have a lot of making up to do," Alexia admits," I broke her trust and that is not an easy thing to get back. If I want Bambi to come home then she has to want it to. I don't want her to be unhappy again."
"What are you saying?"
"Let me visit her, please. Let me earn back her trust, please."
Everyone knows Eli is in charge here. She is the head of the family and everyone defers to her on big decisions like this. This is a family matter. This is about her granddaughter's happiness and her daughter's peace of mind.
"Bambi is very fragile right now," Eli says quietly but the house is so silent everyone can hear her clearly," This is a serious matter, Alexia and if it was anyone else's daughter, child services will have already been called."
Alexia looks down at the table, the same table she would be scolded at when she was young.
"Your father would be ashamed of you." Eli's words are hard and biting and it's exactly what Alexia wants, even if it causes a sharp pain in her chest. "This is not how we raised you. That little girl is so beloved by everyone and what you have done...I love you, Ale, but it is unacceptable."
"I know, Mama. Please, let me make this right."
"Bambi coming home is her choice. It is not a when...it is an if. If I decide that you are doing more harm than good then there will be other actions we can take."
She looks at Jenni, who up until this point has been silent and Alexia's eyes dart to her too.
"Mama, what are you talking about?"
"Eli," Jenni says," She is trying. We don't need to-"
"Jenni still has adoption papers," Alba says from her corner of the room," All they're missing is your signature. Mama is saying that if this cannot be resolved and Bambi doesn't want to come home..."
She lets the idea hang in the air. She doesn't need to say it out loud. They all know what she means.
"It won't get that far," Jenni says, looking at Alexia for the first time since all of this became real," Bambi loves you."
Alexia pushes through the lump in her throat and the tears pricking in her eyes. "If I cannot make this better then she will have the best chance with you."
Jenni looks away first. "She has ballet on Saturday until one. We can do a visit then."
"Thank you."
Olga is sitting with Jaume when Alexia gets home. It's an almost perfect image. All it's missing is you at Olga's feet, playing with your trains.
She can imagine it, your trainsets spread all over the floor and your ballet bag left abandoned on a chair. You will smile when you see her and Alexia will litter your face with kisses before doing the same to Olga and Jaume.
It will be perfect, Alexia promises herself.
"Hey, little man," She coos to her son, hefting him up into her arms and pressing a kiss to his forehead.
Jaume giggles at the affection, lips smacking together as his hand whips out to grab at Alexia's nose curiously. He's been a little fussy recently and extremely sensitive to changes in light but he seems a little happier now.
"That's my nose," Alexia says. She wiggles it. "Is it really funny? Huh? Is my nose funny?"
"Jaume seems to think so." Olga rises from the sofa and pecks Alexia's lips. "How was your mother?"
"Helpful."
"And Alba?"
"She was...Alba."
"And Jenni?"
"How did you-?"
"I am not blind or deaf, Ale. Your team gossips. Jenni has comes back to Spain for y/n."
"Amor-"
"I'm not threatened," Olga laughs," You broke up for a reason but even I know that a meeting of y/n would involve her. How was it? What did they say?"
Alexia manages a smile. "I can see her on Saturday, after ballet. There's a place where you can paint pottery nearby. I think I'll take her there."
"That's nice," Olga says.
"I..." Alexia's been floating in a happy bubble ever since she started to drive home. She doesn't want to ruin it but she has to know. "Did you have a think about what we talked about?"
Olga sighs. "I love Jaume," She says after several beats of quiet," Because he is mine, yes, but mostly because he is yours as well. And I love you so much."
Alexia doesn't like where this is going. "And Bambi?"
"I'm sorry, Ale, but I do not love y/n but...I think I could learn to because she is so much like you and I love you. I do not know y/n like I know you and Jaume. I want to though. I want her home with us so I can love her like I love Jaume. I am sorry if it is not what you want to hear but it is my truth and I hope that is enough."
Tears fall down Alexia's cheeks.
"It's enough. It's enough, amor."
Alexia spends all week waiting for Saturday. There are matches to prepare for and media commitments to do but you're all she can think about.
She wonders if she should bring you a new train to mark the occasion but the model train store has finally shut down and Alexia cannot get one for you in time.
Next time though, she promises herself that she'll got you a new train for your collection. Her palms are sweaty and she's nervous when she spots you and Jenni walking down the street hand-in-hand.
You're still in your ballet clothes but you've got one of Jennie's jackets on and it's dragging on the ground behind you because it's too big. Your hair is still done up in a bun and a few wisps fall down to frame your face.
"Bambi," Alexia says, suddenly breathless when you look up at her.
"Hola, Mami," You reply, ducking a little bit behind Jenni as you greet her.
"Your Mami and you are going to paint some pottery," Jenni says," And I'll be right here to pick you up when you're done."
"You won't be late?"
"Of course I won't be! You're my most favourite little girl in the whole wide world! I'd never be late to pick you up!"
You smile and giggle when Jenni peppers kisses all over your face before gently moving you towards Alexia.
"Hola, Mami," You say again.
Alexia smiles and takes your hand. "Hola, Bambi."
You look very nervous and your hand is unusually warm in Alexia's, though she puts that down to you coming straight from ballet.
There's a big wall where you can choose what to make. Alexia gets a mug and, unsurprisingly, you want the train. It's at the very top of the shelf and you can't reach and you don't want Mami to get upset at you for asking when you could easily get something that's closer to your height.
But Alexia notices.
She's making sure to pay a lot of attention to you now. To the way that your ballet pumps are wearing a bit at the soles and the way you play with the sleeves of Jenni's jacket.
"Do you want the train, Bambi?" She asks," Do you want me to pick you up so you can grab it? Can I touch you?"
You nervously nod and Alexia pretends to not notice the way that you don't breath until you're safely back on the ground.
The little shop is quaint and fairly quiet and Alexia lets you choose the table at the very back.
Very gently, she telegraphs her every move to you as she rolls up the sleeves of Jenni's jacket so you don't get paint on it.
You're both quiet as you paint.
Your little tongue is stuck out in concentration as you dip your paintbrush into the paint and move it to cover your train.
"You moved up in ballet," Alexia says eventually," How was that?"
"Was good," Is the response from your tiny voice," It is harder now but still fun." You blink a few times as the overhead light buzzes and you scratch at you neck. It's been a little itchy since you last saw Mami and you don't like.
You haven't told anyone because you're scared they're going to get angry at you. You're a big girl now. Big girl don't complain about something as silly as itchy skin.
"I'm very proud of you," Alexia says," And I'm glad that you're enjoying ballet so much."
Your watery little smile back makes Alexia nearly cry herself. "Really, Mami?"
"Of course. I am so proud of my Bambi. You make me proud everyday."
"Are you sure, Mami?"
"Yes. I am very proud of you."
You sniffle a little and duck your head back down to continue painting. It hurts to move your head though. It's all stiff and tight so you have to hold it at an odd angle so you don't cry - though you're not sure if it's because of the pain or the fact that Mami is acting like this is the Before.
The Mami from the Before never got angry when you asked silly questions. The Mama from the Now got angry at you once when you asked a silly questions when Jaume was crying.
You hope that this Mami won't be mad because you ask a silly question.
"Mami," You ask softly, the memory plaguing you ever since your Jenni returned to you," Jenni says she wanted me when I was little. Did you want me?"
Whatever bubble Alexia was in before pops and it's like icy cold water has been dumped on her.
"What do you mean, Bambi?"
"You and Miss Olga wanted Jaume," You say," And my Jenni says she wanted me. Did you want me too?"
"Bambi..." Alexia doesn't want to think about those first few months of having you. The post-partum depression had hit hard and Alexia could do little but deal with yours and hers basic needs.
She had loved you and resented you all at the same time and the guilt had weighed on her for months.
"I always want you."
You shake your head before wincing and returning your head back to its awkward resting position. "But did you want me then? When I was little like Baby Jaume and when I was in your belly?"
Alexia moves from her chair to kneel in front of you. Her hand comes up to cradle you. Either her hands are big or your face is tiny because they cover your entire cheek.
"I love you," Alexia says," You're my Bambi and I've always loved you."
"But did you want me?"
"Bambi..."
"Mami...Mami, I..."
Alexia doesn't want to lie but she also doesn't want to tell you either. There were moments, that first week she found out she was pregnant when she didn't want you. She hadn't been overjoyed at the prospective of you. She hadn't wanted her career to be derailed by something as silly as a child.
She doesn't want to tell you the truth because she knows that it will be damaging to you. You're not old enough to be told things like this. You're not mature enough to be told this kind of information and not have it linger and fester within you for years.
But Alexia's always valued honesty. She doesn't like lying but she had lied to you all your life. She doesn't want to lie again now even if it's about something like this. Adults cannot fault other adults for telling their truth but you are neither an adult nor can you understand what this means for you.
"I want you now," Alexia says instead," I want you when I go to bed every night. I want you when I wake up every morning. I want you when I score a goal and when I win trophies. I want you, Bambi."
You sniffle and scratch more insistently at your skin, your wrists this time.
"I miss you sometimes, Mami," You say," But coming back to your house is scary."
"Thank you for being honest, Bambi. You don't have to come home if you don't want to." Alexia forces down tears. "When I next see you, we should go and see Abuela and we'll explain things to you, okay?"
"Okay, Mami."
"Is your train done?"
Your train actually is done so Mami gives it and her mug to the lady who works there to finish off and you both walk outside.
"They should be done in a few days," Mami tells you," And then when I next see you, I'll give you your new train."
"Okay, Mami." Her hand is in yours and you think that is enough for today, pulling your hand away as Jenni turns the corner and lets you run to her.
"Hey," She laughs, swinging you up into her arms," How did it go? Was it fun?"
You don't answer, burying your face into Jenni's neck.
"I..." Alexia says," I think next time when should go to my Mama's...Conversations are...difficult sometimes."
Jenni nods. "I see," She says," Next week, maybe?"
The words are complete autopilot. Alexia hates what she's said the moment they're out of her mouth but they're completely out of habit and she doesn't even think before she speaks.
"We'll see," She says," I'll have to check my schedule." She clamps her mouth shut the moment she says them. "I mean- No, I meant-"
You look resigned, like you are so used to this that it barely effects you but Jenni looks furious. She hefts you up higher in her arms.
"Say goodbye to your Mami, Bambi."
"Bye, Mami."
"Hey...Wait, no, Jenni. I didn't mean-"
"Bambi needs to have a nap," Jenni says," She takes one right after ballet. We changed her schedule for painting today. I should get her home."
Alexia wilts, slouching her shoulders and curling in on herself. "Adios, Bambi. I love you!"
Jenni is already walking around and you don't offer your own I love you in return.
Jenni's steady steps feel nice as she walks you back to Tia Alba's. Your itchiness increases and you scratch more harshly at your neck.
"Ma-Jenni?"
"Yes, Bambi?"
"Can we have cuddles tonight?"
"Of course we can. I love cuddles with my favourite little girl. Are we having them on the sofa after bathtime or in bed together?"
Before Ma-Jenni came home, you slept with your Tia Alba. Now you sleep in the same bed as Ma-Jenni. She's big and strong and she holds you just right. She doesn't let you go the whole night. You go to sleep in her arms and you wake up in her arms.
"Bed cuddles please."
"I love bed cuddles."
You grin. "I love bed cuddles too!"
You scratch at your neck again and Jenni gently pulls your hand away. She frowns, swiping at your skin with her thumb a few times.
"You've got a bit of a rash there, Bambi," She says," We'll have to keep an eye on that."
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goldfades · 3 months
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PARDON MY EMOTIONS / I SHOULD PROBABLY KEEP IT ALL TO MYSELF ── 𝐉𝐁⁵
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❪ requested -> "jude angst to fluff WITH PLOT!" ❫
─ pairing | jude bellingham x fem!reader
─ word count | 1.7k
─ warnings | lots of angst to fluff, miscommunication (kind of), jude being an ASSHOLE but making up for it.
─ ev's notes ! | i'm now in my football kick due to the euros and copa america so please send in requests!!! 🤗🎀
⇨ missing out on updates? check out my masterlist!
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BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP with England's star football player had its ups and downs.
You got to be a WAG, enjoying the glamorous lifestyle that came with dating Jude. From attending high-profile matches and exclusive events to traveling the world and mingling with other footballers and celebrities, life was never boring. The media attention was overwhelming at times, but you learned to navigate the spotlight and maintain a sense of normalcy.
However, that was the problem. You longed for a sense of normalcy, that was all you wanted was for your relationship. The glitz and glamour of being a WAG was only fun for a bit, not it seemed like you never got a moment to yourself. This was the root of all your relationships, somehow ─ Jude never understood why you wouldn't like all the media attention.
"It's overwhelming," you muttered as you played with the bottom of your of your coffee cup, the warm ceramic providing little comfort. Jude sat across from you, his expression both of concern and confusion.
"What do you mean, overwhelming?" He replied, his gaze locked on you. "This is part of the life we have. The attention, the media... it's just something we have to deal with."
You sighed, looking out the window at the city outside. "But that's just it, Jude. I never wanted this. I love you, and I support your career, but I miss having a private life. I miss being able to go out without cameras following us or people recognizing us everywhere we go."
"Overwhelming for you?" He sighed, his expression hardening. "How do you think I feel? Look, I'm not asking for much ─ I've given you the best life I can,"
You scoffed, he wasn't listening to what you were saying. "This isn't about you or-or what you've given me. I'm grateful, I really am-"
"Doesn't sound like it," Jude cut you off, his voice rising in frustration. "It sounds like you're not happy with anything I've done."
You felt a surge of anger, the words bubbling up before you could stop them. "That's not fair, Jude," you sighed. "I've been by your side through everything, and all I'm asking for is a little understanding. I need space, I need to feel like my own person, not just an accessory to your life."
Jude stood up, his chair scraping loudly against the floor. "So, what? You want me to quit football? Give up everything I've worked for?"
"No!" You stood up as well, your heart pounding. "I don't want you to give up anything. I just want you to see things from my perspective for once. I'm losing myself in all of this, and I feel like an accessory you just get to show off."
"Well, you know that's not true," his eyes softened for a moment, but then the frustration returned. "I thought we were a team. I thought we were in this together. But it feels like you're just... giving up."
"I'm not giving up," you said, your voice breaking. "It's hard for me too, like I'm just a pretty face with no dreams or aspirations. That's what they think-"
"Who cares what they think? I know you're more than that, everyone you care about knows that." Jude let out a huff as he glared at you.
"Well it's always just been about you, Jude," you didn't mean it to come out so harsh ─ your tone hard and cold. "Moving to Spain and-and all this, it's hard on me too."
That seemed to hit a nerve because Jude's eyes went wide before he scoffed. "You think this has been easy for me? You think moving to a different country, dealing with the pressure of a new team, and trying to keep us together is all about me?"
You flinched at his words, but your frustration was too strong to back down now. "That's not what I'm saying, Jude. I just want you to see that I'm struggling too. I left everything behind to be with you. My friends, my family, my life — everything."
Jude's face softened slightly, but his jaw was still tight with anger. "I need you to understand that this life comes with sacrifices. We both have to make them, this is what you signed up for."
"I know that, Jude," you said, tears welling up in your eyes as you sniffled. "But sometimes it feels like I'm the only one sacrificing. I feel like I'm losing myself, and I don't know how to fix it."
You wiped away a tear before continuing, averting your gaze from Jude. "I just need to feel like I'm more than just your girlfriend. I need to feel like I have my own purpose."
"You are!" Jude snapped, before sighing.
You sent him a glare as you sighed loudly, getting tired of not being heard. "Don't raise your voice!"
"You're being ungrateful, I've given you everything! A nice house, a nice car, you know how many girls would kill to be in your position?"
That was the last straw. Your mouth was slightly agape as you took in his words. Ungrateful? How could he say that after everything you've sacrificed to be with him?
"Fuck," you sighed as you looked up, meeting his gaze. "Is that how low you think of me? Fine, then. Let them have my position, since apparently, you think I'm just here for the perks," you said, your voice trembling with a mix of hurt and anger.
Jude's face fell, a mixture of regret and panic crossing his features. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm just frustrated. I love you, and I want us to be happy."
You shook your head, taking a step back. "That's not enough, Jude. Love isn't just about the nice things or the glamorous life. It's about understanding each other. And right now, I don't feel understood."
"That's not what I meant," Jude sighed as he began rubbing his temple. "Jesus, I need some space from you."
You glared as he grabbed his keys from the counter and you watched him walk out of the room, feeling your stomach twist in anxiety and hurt. The sound of the door closing echoed in the silence, leaving you standing alone in the kitchen. Tears streamed down your face as you sank into a chair, feeling the weight of the argument pressing down on you.
You sat there for a while, trying to process everything that had just happened. The love you had for Jude was undeniable, but the constant feeling of being misunderstood was taking its toll. You needed to find a way to reclaim your sense of self, to feel heard in your relationship.
After a few moments, you wiped your tears and took a deep breath. You needed to do something, anything, to clear your mind. You decided to go for a walk, hoping the fresh air would help you think more clearly. Grabbing your jacket, you stepped outside and started walking aimlessly through the streets of the city.
As you walked, you reflected on your relationship with Jude. There had been so many beautiful moments, but lately, it seemed like the challenges were overshadowing the good times. You loved him deeply, but you needed to find a way to communicate better, to make him understand how you felt without it turning into a fight.
After a while, you headed back home, feeling a bit more centered. When you entered the apartment, you heard the TV and sighed. You took off your jacket and made your way to the living room, your gaze landing on Jude was too immersed in the show he was watch to realize you'd come home.
He finally met your gaze and instantly muted the TV, the tension palpable as you walked toward him.
"Hey," you whispered as he gave you a small smile.
He tapped to the spot next to him, inviting you to sit down. You hesitated for a moment before joining him on the couch, the silence between you heavy with tension.
"Hey," he said softly, his eyes filled with regret. "I've been thinking about what you said."
You nodded, your heart aching at the sight of his earnest expression. "Me too. I just... I need you to understand how hard this is for me."
Jude took a deep breath, his hand reaching out to gently take yours. "I know I've been incredibly fucking selfish, and I haven't been listening to you. I didn't realize how much you were sacrificing and how it was affecting you until now and... and I'm sorry."
Tears welled up in your eyes again, but this time they were tears of relief. "I appreciate that, Jude. I love you, but I need to find my own way, to have something that's mine."
He nodded, squeezing your hand. "Yeah, I get that. And I want to help you find that. We can work on this together, maybe you can look into things that interest you here, find something that makes you happy."
A small smile tugged at your lips. "I’d like that. And maybe we can set some boundaries with the media, try to keep our private life a bit more private."
"Yeah, absolutely," Jude agreed, his eyes shining with determination. "I'll talk to my manager and see what we can do about that. Your happiness is important to me... you are important to me."
You leaned your head against his shoulder, feeling a sense of reassurance. "Thank you, Jude. I just want us to be happy together, without all the pressure and stress."
He kissed the top of your head, his arm wrapping around you protectively. "We will, I promise."
"I love you, a lot," Jude continued, his voice soft. "I didn't mean anything I said earlier, I was just angry. I don't know..." He trailed off, before pausing. "I don't know what I'd do with you, baby."
You looked up at him, your eyes meeting his brown ones, and you could see the depth of his feelings for you. "I love you too, Jude," you whispered, your heart swelling with emotion.
As you cuddled together on the couch, the warmth of his embrace enveloping you, you felt a sense of peace.
"How about we start fresh tomorrow?" Jude suggested, his voice gentle. "We can spend the day together, just us. No media, no distractions. Just enjoying each other's company."
You nodded, feeling a wave of relief. "I'd love that. It sounds perfect."
He smiled, his eyes twinkling with affection. "Good. It's a date then."
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