#the urge to bite on something is so crazy rn

[mmyashas]

I cannot think about roier cubito too long or i get like this What tye fuck is even happening with him... we lost connection like 2 days ago and he was clearly getting worse each day so. Erm. i dont.va veuwgwkhrkwgejevjfjfjwj

[ritzcuit]

i aam deep in dhurkedatz specifically thoughts today. Oh the them. oh the unspoken of it all. the unlabeled. we got a good thing going. of course this is my ... he's my. You know. well hes my right hand man of course. im the fangs o' the defiant dragon. but that doesnt explain it fully.. thats business. and their lives are almost entirely business but Not Quite. and beyond the revolution they escape description...thats his best friend. that's his datz..

dhurke loves amara like crazy his love for her never died at all ... datz isn't a replacement ... hes just his datz. you know? 20 years of partnership cant go away like that. theyre together. partners!! and rumors fly and theres jokes. call off your boyfriend! so whens the marriage? and theres shared looks and pitying looks and understanding looks and skeptical looks but no one Speaks on it.. its unspoken!! but its there. by god.

like i wouldnt dream of doing anything without you. or that dhurke knows when he gets reunited with his family once more, for real this time, datz is gonna be there. and amara isn't being replaced so shes not concerned at all lol shes like ... what ... and take away his datz? what kind of monster do you take me for :( Like she knows. and everyone KNOWS. thats just his datz. and thats his dhurke. and you cant seperate them its unethical its cruel and unusual punishment its not nice

All the small tiny things... the years of history in each others actions ... the energy and focus shifting between them without needing to ask. in a discussion fixing to break out into a fight datz defuses it. datz tense and uncomfortable outta his mind and dhurke spots the way he tugs at his scarf and makes an excuse for datz to leave early. he asks to be waken up in a few hours so they can trade ofd guard duty and datz says yeah but they both know he'll stay up the whole night just to let dhurke sleep longer (this i stole from such terrible tales bc that detail made me sick) Like Ugh Like i cant Like i just dont know

and its not that they dont want to label it but its just so...what would change really. dhurke knows datz loves him and datz knows dhurke loves him (though maybe some nights he really does need reassurance, and he gets in his head about it, and somehow- through ways datz doesn't have a clue how- dhurke can tell when datz is quiet from upset as opposed to another reason, and he'll take datz's hand and kiss his knuckles and Thank Him so deeply and earnestly that it burns out any negative thought datz has ever had in his life ... crazy.)

and hes the family friend and the sort of uncle and the right hand man and compatriot and everyone knows just by the way they lean against each other and speak in half finished sentences and answer questions that weren't fully asked ... reference jokes from years ago and diffuse each other and the way datz is obviously gloomy when dhurke is gone vs perks up when he comes back And the way dhurke is on edge and his leaderly dad warmth is slightly colder while datz is in prison like even when theyre not together you can tell the impact left on each others lives LIKE IM SICK FOR REAL

[scary-event2369]

Yandere! Alien (ONE-SHOT)

I’m sick as hell rn and I just want to write. Sorry it’s been awhile TT

Never wrote something like this before so be nice but criticism is always welcome!!

Also been awhile since I wrote smut, so i apologize if it’s not good either

Content: AFAB Reader (no gendered terms used), aphrodisiac effect (alien’s saliva), sexual themes, alien dick (ikyk) oviposition (egg-laying/having eggs inside you), breeding, brief mention of blood.  P -> V. Cunnilingus.  This is a lighter yandere.  —

You headed up to your grandparents' mountain cabin, craving some alone time to clear your head and unplug. It was meant to be a chill getaway, a routine check. The cozy rustic vibes inside welcomed you, but what caught you off guard was the sight of an alien, looking totally puzzled by a simple piece of fruit. It was almost cute, but definitely not part of the plan.

It was not even a full 24-hours before you heard a loud crash outside. Your first thought was a tree possibly falling. To your surprise, there was this odd pod thing sitting there. 

You immediately wanted to call someone, but then you remembered. No service, no humans around for miles – classic mountain problems. However, your curiosity got the best of you, so you grabbed a stick and poked the mysterious pod. It hissed open, releasing a fog that revealed a towering alien.

This dude was something else. Humanoid, but not quite right. Terrifying yet strangely captivating. Pale, almost ghostly skin, cat-like features with pointy ears and weird dark marks all over. Antennas sticking out of his head and long silky smooth white hair flowing down. 

Now, a few days later, he couldn't take his eyes off an apple, completely captivated like a kid in a candy store. His long finger reached out, gently tapping it.

"Want a bite?" I interrupted his apple stare-down. He turned to me, his language sounding weird, definitely not from around here, but the guy picked up English crazy fast.

"Can eat this?" he questioned, his voice all deep and otherworldly, like trying to put words to an alien sound. I nod, “Yeah go ahead. It’s pretty tasty.”

He snatched the apple, giving it a good sniff and admiring its vibrant red hue. Hesitating for a moment, he finally decided to take a cautious bite. His eyes widened, almost sparkling with surprise. Without wasting any time, he went for another bite, a grin spreading across his face.

A little chuckle escaped me."So, what do you think? Is the apple a hit?” I asked him between giggles. His mouth was full of the apple, the juice pouring down her cheek. “Apple... good," he responded with a few mysterious words, likely compliments, before switching back to English. "Tastes like Earth. Want more."

"More apples?" I questioned, making sure. His face lit up with happiness as he nodded. I got up from the couch and headed towards the kitchen. I grabbed more apples, including some oranges and pears for good measure. Dumping the fruity treasure on the end table, I declared, "Voila!"

He gobbled up the whole apple, even the core, and then flopped into a chair by the table. Snatching an orange, he sniffed it just like he did with the apple. A big bite, some chewing, and he declared, "Different, but good,” he mumbled with a nod. "Earth food, good." I shook my head, chuckling. "No, you can't eat the skin like that. Let me peel it for you," I said, quickly peeling it for him. "Here, give it another shot. It'll be way tastier this way." I held out the peeled orange, urging him to try it again.

He narrowed his eyes at it, unsure, then decided to take another bite. The look on his face mirrored the one he had when munching on the apple. "This is real good," he exclaimed, before launching into a stream of excited chatter in his own language. "You," he stopped to find the right word. "Smart! Lots of cool things. I wanna know more."

I flashed him a smile, saying, "Awh, thanks! I'm curious to know more about you too." We took a little pause, just locking eyes. His big, dark, almost black orbs were fixed right on me, kind of hypnotic. I turned my head and blurted out, "So, um, what else do you wanna find out?" His intense look left me a bit flustered.

I still felt his intense gaze burning into the side of my head. Suddenly, he grabbed my hand and yanked me back onto the couch, plopping down beside me. I was a bit confused, but I took this as him wanting to know what this was. “Oh, this thing? It's a couch. Like a big chair, so more people fit on it," I explained.

He gave a little nod, inching closer. Those eyes were still locked onto mine, like he had something important to say but was stuck on the words. Next thing I knew, his hands were on my cheeks, squishing them, and his forehead rested against mine. Our noses touched. If you told me a few days ago that a massive alien would nuzzle noses with me and I'd just roll with it, I'd have called you nuts. However I just let it happen. Despite us knowing each other only a few days I felt a strange trust and connection to him. 

I raised an eyebrow, still kinda confused but not backing off. His fingers, long and gentle, traced my cheek, giving me a ticklish feeling. His breath brushed against my face, and he stayed quiet. “So… is this some alien custom or what?" I questioned, getting even more confused by all the physical contact. He nodded, making a small clicking noise. Then he began to say a bunch of words in his native language. I think he could notice I wasn't understanding in the slightest because he let out a huff before he kissed me quickly.

I gasped at the sudden feeling. It wasn't like any regular kiss; it was way more enjoyable, sending a tingling and numbing feeling through me. His lips still held the sweetness from the fruit we had earlier.

His hand moved to the back of my head, pulling me in closer, while the other one continued to gently stroke my cheek. A warmth began to wrap around me, it was a strange feeling, but one I wasn’t pulling away from. 

I shut my eyes and leaned in, returning his kiss. A surge of warmth enveloped us, almost like a sweet paralysis. It was too irresistible to pull away.

The hold he had on the back of my neck got a bit tighter. It didn’t hurt but it was obvious he didn’t want me to pull away, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. His soft lips were intoxicating, both of our lips moving in rhythm. 

His tongue teased my bottom lip, coaxing them to open. It felt like an aphrodisiac, a warm and comforting sensation. Slowly, I surrendered as he pressed me down onto the couch, rendering me completely immobile.

Breaking away, he panted slightly, and we gazed at each other breathlessly. It felt like we were just staring at each other for hours, even though it was only a couple seconds. The warm feeling growing in my chest and stomach was growing, it was pure need.

Gasping for breath, he uttered "Xylorvex," a word in his native tongue. Pausing for a moment, thinking, he repeated, "Mate. You're mine, all mine." With that, he pressed his head against my neck, as he began to kiss and suck the skin.

The words hit me, making my face burn as he nibbled and kissed my neck. His teeth were sharp, but he tried to be gentle, though sometimes he bit too hard, making me bleed.

Yet, he was quick to lick and clean the wounds, sending a rush of arousal through me. My body went numb, and all I could feel was the strange alien's touch. His kisses left me craving more. "P-please," I stammered, desperate.

The strange creature stared at me, clearly confused. I let out a groan and pleaded, "I need more," hoping it would catch my drift. It took a while but then he nodded, finally understanding as his long fingers slowly pulled down my pants and now slicked covered underwear.

The cold air on my bare pussy made me flitch and shiver slightly. He brought one his face down and looked at it which only made me more embarrassed but aroused. After a while he brought his hand towards it, going up and down the folds, gathering more of the wetness. I let out a shaky moan and quivered slightly. I was so turned on it was almost painful. The creature watched as my pussy convulse around nothing. He slowly brought his face towards it as he began to carefully lap the folds. I cover my mouth as I let out a loud mouth. My breathing has gone heavy yet shallow as he continued licking and sucking. It was tingling in a way that caused more sensations than ever. I grabbed a handful of his hair, not knowing whether I was pulling him closer or pushing him away.

“Sweet. Like fruit,” he said softly, his eyes never leaving my cut as it dripped leaving a small pool onto the couch. He quickly went back towards it, slurping up all the arousal that poured out of me. He was mostly silent throughout this, a few clicks that I took as happiness as his half-lidded eyes switched from my pussy to my face. Luckily enough I was making enough noises for the both. It was only a matter of minutes before I felt my orgasm building full force. He began to swirl his long tongue around my clit sucking on it before going back towards my hole pushing his tongue in. “Nghh~ ah fuck~” I moaned out loudly as I came all over his face. The slick trailing down his chin as he made sure to give my pussy a few more kisses before sitting back up and looking at me. “Good?” I nodded as my chest went up and down heavily. I have never experienced anything like that before and it took a lot of the energy out of me. He smiled slightly as he then took off his pants showing his now fully erect dick, it was nothing like you have ever seen before. It was long and girthy, with the same black markings that were across his skin. It was veiny, and twitching. Despite being quiet it was obvious he was just as excited as you were. 

He slowly rubbed the entrance, gathering my slick onto his dick. I rarely had time to think before he pushed it in slowly, filling me up instantly. We both let out a moan as he bottomed out. The clicking noise became louder as he began to mumble something. He kissed my lips before he started to thrust his and wiggle inside me.

It was otherworldly, it was like his cock was perfectly morphing itself to my folds causing a sensation I couldn’t explain. The moans I let out came off as more of screams as I gripped the couch. However they were not as loud as they could be because of his sweet kisses, almost praising and encouraging me to take it.

You quickly learned that his species had a strong stamina. He was doing all sorts of positions with you, forcing orgasm after orgasm before all you could do was cry and take the pleasure. Hours later and after your nth orgasm did he finally cum. He gave his final thrusts as he shot his load inside you. The warmth filling you as you whined. You could  feel him depositing large eggs within you. Causing your belly to bulge as he cooed and petted your head.

After he laid all his eggs within you he finally put out, a clear sticky substance pooled out of your entrance as you trembled. The alien held you close as he brought you to the bed, grabbing something he thought was a towel and wiped you up.

You quickly fell passed out as he cuddled up next to you, spooning you and continuing his pats to your head. He just knew that you’ll be such a kind and loving mate for the children slowly growing inside you.

[bookshelf-dust]

if ur requests are open rn will you write something abt gareth’s family and the reader? it can be like meeting them once you’ve started dating or later on or anything. loved ur last fic !! thank u !!!!

i want you to meet my family.

gareth emerson x gn!reader

word count: 1,487

warnings: swearing, reader is anxious and a bit shy, meet-the-family jitters, tooth-rotting fluff, gare being sweet and lovey

a/n: hi!! thank you for your request my sweet!! i’m so happy that you liked my last fic! means the world. i kind of went for a shy and anxious reader, so i hope that’s okay!! for context, i’ve given him: mom, stepdad and two younger sisters. i tried to leave them unnamed so that you can call them whatever you’d like! i hope this turned out like you wanted! <333

————

“I want you to meet my family.”

You practically choked on the hot chocolate he’d fixed you. That should’ve been your first clue anyhow. He was buttering you up.

Coughing, Gareth’s hand rubbed and patted your back, the other taking the mug from you and setting it down before you spilled.

His words caught you off guard—god forbid you sit with your boyfriend and not expect anything to happen. “You okay?”

“Yeah, Gare, I’m fine.” You weren’t fine. The waver in your voice gave you away.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to meet Gareth’s family, because you really, really did—what with all he’d told you—and you had this urge to get to know that part of him too. You found it comforting that he wanted you to meet them.

You were just nervous. You weren’t good with new people, and these were more than just people. They were Gareth’s people.

But meeting them only made sense, especially when you could feel yourself falling more and more for him every minute.

The both of you hadn’t been together officially for too long, and had definitely been relishing in the fact that it was just the two of you and there wasn’t any pressure. This, however, was pressure. Lots of it.

“Can you look at me, pretty please?” You shifted, the two of you now sitting cross legged and facing each other on the couch. He held out his hands, which you dramatically slapped, eliciting an ever more dramatic hiss from him, before he clasped your fingers in his.

You focused on the silver ring resting on his middle finger while he spoke to you. “You know I would never want you to do anything that would make you uncomfortable. But I-I want you to meet my family, because you’re my family too.”

His kind words were flustering you, so you continued to fidget with his ring and started chewing on your bottom lip, biting down in hopes that the sting of tears would go away.

“It doesn’t have to be anything crazy. I’ll bring you home like usual, there will just be other people there. I don’t want you to worry about whether they’ll like you, even though I know you’re going to, but—they wanna meet you too, sweetheart. You’re my whole world, you gotta know that.”

You did. Lifting your head, you met his gaze. His nose scrunched in greeting. You leaned in to kiss it. “Okay. I trust you, Gareth.”

————

“Breathe. Here, with me, okay?” Gareth stood with you in the driveway, holding onto you and trying to soothe your nerves.

You knew there was nothing to be scared of. You’d heard nothing but good things about them, about how much they meant to Gareth.

But you couldn’t help that your heart was beating so fast it hurt and your hands were shaking and you felt a little dizzy. There was so much going on in your head—always—and what if they could tell you were a mess? Maybe they’d think you weren’t right for their boy.

Stop, you told yourself. Breathe. Gareth’s gentle hand on your collarbones brought you back. “Ready?”

“Yeah. Will you hold my hand? Please? Please don’t leave me.” He held back a wince at seeing you this way.

“I’m never gonna leave you, my sweet.”

Gareth led you up the few steps to the door and inside, just like any other time you’d been over. Your stomach sunk when you heard voices coming from the kitchen. As if he was reading your thoughts, Gareth turned around and kissed your cheek. “It’s okay. You’re okay. I’m right here.”

You nodded, afraid your voice would fail you, and he took that as his queue to head off.

Entering the kitchen, you found his stepdad and youngest sister working on a puzzle, both settled at the table. His mother was preparing cookie dough, his other sister sat on the counter beside her, presumably licking cinnamon off of her fingers. From what you could smell, they were snickerdoodles. Those were your favorite.

Gareth tugged you into him, and you hid a little against his side. “Hey, guys,” his voice cut off all other noise in the kitchen, four heads snapping up at once.

Gareth’s mom smiled brilliantly at the sight of you, and she hurried to wipe her hands against the little waist apron she was wearing before tugging it off.

“Hi!” She exclaimed.

The youngest of his sisters leapt from her place on the counter, sprinting to her brother just after his mom made it to him. His mother kissed his cheek, giving him knowing and thrilled eyes. Gareth groaned exaggeratedly as a little body smacked into his legs, “Hi, bubba!”

“Hi, squirt.” He ruffled her hair and you watched in awe, your attention shifting as his mom turned to face you instead.

You let go of Gareth’s hand, trying to be brave because she looked so kind. He took that as a signal to let you. An I’m okay gesture.

This woman was not scary. Her eyes were that same sweet blue as her son’s, her curls just as unruly, though tied up at the base of her neck.

“Hello, my love! It’s so nice to meet you! Can I hug you? Would that be okay?” She raised her hands a little, hopeful.

“Sure you can,” you responded, smiling genuinely. My love, she’d called you. You were suddenly overwhelmed with how nice it felt to be welcomed and cared for so instantaneously.

Gareth’s mother pulled you in for a hug, warm and grateful, swaying you gently in her arms. She pulled back, still smiling, eyes shining with it. Turning her head, she checked that Gareth wasn’t looking—he wasn’t, head bent to look at the puzzle on the table. “You know he never shuts up about you?

“Really?” You grinned at her, feeling your cheeks heat up, but delighted nonetheless.

“Really!” The sound of your joint giggles made Gareth turn around, his stepdad and sisters following his return to you.

“I don’t like the sounds of this.” He said it with a smile anyhow.

“Hey, kiddo.” Gareth’s stepdad found you, and gave you a short, but kind hug. He smelled faintly of cigarettes, yet it was comforting. You caught a glimpse of a tattoo sleeve under the edge of his sweater, and hoped you’d remember to ask about it later.

You hadn’t expected this glasses-clad, teddy-bear-looking man to have tattoos. “It’s true, by the way, he really doesn’t shut up about you.”

Gareth ran a hand down his face and you laughed softly, albeit slightly worried about would he could’ve said.

Both of his sisters approached you at once, the younger with messily braided pigtails, the older with a head full of crazier and more tightly coiled curls than both Gareth and his mother combined.

“You’re very pretty,” the younger one said, holding her arms out for a hug. You obliged her. “He said you were pretty. You are.”

“Thank you. So are you.” She smiled gratefully and looked up at her older sister expectantly.

The latter grinned just as kindly as all of the rest of them, holding out her hand, hoping you’d trust her and take it. “Are you any good at puzzles? Gareth sucks.”

“Hey! I do not.” You chuckled at their banter.

“He does,” she told you, attempting to whisper, before settling on the bench and doling you out some pieces.

The rest of the day went perfectly fine. You’d never felt more at home than you did with Gareth’s family. They welcomed you and loved you immediately and wanted to get to know the person who was making their boy so happy.

————

Your car was in the driveway when Gareth pulled up. He wasn’t sure why—he hadn’t asked you over today—not that he was totally upset by it.

He made his way down the hall to the kitchen where your familiar voice rang out.

You looked up at his entrance.

“Hi?” He questioned, tossing his keys on the counter.

He found both of his sisters and you bent over the kitchen table, spreading puzzle glue on yet another puzzle that you’d finished together.

“I know. They called with an invitation and a puzzle completion notice.” You turned to the sister on your left. “Here. If you move around a bit, the light catches and you can check for any spots missing glue. Sound good?” She nodded enthusiastically and you moved away.

Gareth pulled you in for a hug, mumbling a “Sorry,” under his breath.

“‘S okay, really. Also, apparently I’m going to a ballet recital tonight.” Gareth tossed his head back, laughing brilliantly at your situation.

He’d told you they’d love you, and they did. He just thought it was funny that now you had to go through all the things that he did.

But you didn’t mind. Not really. Not when it was your family too.

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

[love-toxin]

not sure if ur a monsterfucker but so feel free to ignore this /gen but..........freaky bat hybrid eddie.goes into heat.breeding u. mmmmmmmmmm. Yummy

im in a monsterfucker mood rn ehe (this is mostly full bat eddie so strap in)

(cw: teratophilia, fem reader, breeding)

freaky bat hybrid eddie.....he's all gross and scary and drooly but he's still your eddie!

everybody thinks you're mental for insisting he must still be alive, poor, sweet angel's just gone crazy after losing your sweetheart. the party feels for you and the town finds you abhorrent for missing and yearning over the psycho killer that once plagued Hawkins, he might've been your boyfriend but he was a monster. how they would clutch their pearls if they ever found out that you managed to find a gate back to the upside down, and you've been venturing back into certain death just to look for your beloved unbeknownst to even your close friends. and when you finally find him, you're so glad to see him when you realize it's actually him--and eddie, oh, he's so glad to see you.

each time you come through, he's waiting for you in your spot. the little den that he protects when you're back in your own world so it can be safe for your arrival, he makes a nest out of whatever he can find so it's comfy for you. and when you duck inside he croaks your name in a screechy, scratchy voice, cries of "angel, my angel, angel" and flapping his wings so you know for sure that it's him, even though he's bigger than all the other bats and he towers over you, his wings all littered with scars. you can't kiss anymore but you can nuzzle his head, paying little mind to how he drools all over your hand and your arm and everywhere else. you'll be much dirtier when you're done anyways.

especially when he's in heat. who knows what triggers it, but when it's that time all you can do is try to get your clothes off quickly, but it's never quick enough. eddie's got those wings draped over you and his claws dug into your hands to pin you, his tail whipping round to strike at your clothes and tear them off your body. that same appendage slithers between your legs and moves with you as you tremble, sliding pseudo-gently between your lips and prodding your clit to get you all wet and ready for him, while eddie screeches above you and humps the air behind you viciously to help unsheathe his cock from its confines. you never really get to see it, but feeling it is just as good--all curved and intertwined with firm, tentacle-like appendages that form a tapered tip and pulse down the whole length, like his cock itself is alive. eddie aligns himself and keeps his tail close to your body, lets it slowly curl around your throat as he spreads your pussy out on something that it was never made to take and spears you with it in one long, hard thrust, one that would've shoved you forward on to your chest if he wasn't holding you up by your neck. each pump is just as vicious, violent, the urge to breed leaking out into his inhuman growls and his claws biting into the flesh of your hands but you don't care, you don't give a damn because this is all you have of eddie and you'll be damned if you let him go twice. despite the pinch and twinge of pain as he forces himself against your womb and gradually manages to fuck the tip inside that soft wall of your cervix, the pain that blinds you as he yanks your head back to look at him and drools into your mouth, you refuse to say "no" or "stop" because you love him so much. even if the world itself hates him, you'll never give him up, and in the deepest reaches of his mind he knows that.

which is exactly why he breeds you so aggressively, fucks you within an inch of your life, plows your poor, abused little cunt until you're cumming through the pain and then because of it. because he wants a piece of himself inside you forever, and maybe filling you with cum or spit or drawing blood will infect you like it did him, turn you into whatever he is so you can finally be together again like you were before. his instincts drive him to choke the air out of your lungs even harder and leave bruises around your neck, and beat your walls so hard with his cock that you feel like he's splitting you apart, cause maybe if he drives you to the edge of death you might turn, too. but even if it doesn't, he still leaves you with something of his when he starts shrieking and flapping his wings against your sides, rasping out those wispy cries of your name as he creams every inch of your insides and watches that blissed-out smile creep across your face. even when you can barely breathe and feel like you're teetering on the brink, feeling him blow his load inside you still makes you shudder with pleasure and moan in ecstasy just like it did when he was human.

and while he's coming down and anticipating another high, he doesn't even unhook himself from you, doesn't bother tugging the tip out of your womb in a rather painful maneuver after it's swollen up to stay lodged inside. he wants all that seed to take, so he strokes your back and your legs and your arms, all shaky from the pounding you just took, and soothes those deep bruises he left in the hopes that it comes across as apologetic as he means it. but you're so loopy and giggly from the afterglow you don't even notice, just keep wiggling your back end closer against him to try and get him deeper, to get him to start making love to you again, because this is the only bonding time you get with him now! you wanna make it count. wanna make cute little bat babies for him like you promised. and that soft little voice pleading "eddie, baby, don't stop! wan' more, wanna cum for you again!", oh, he just can't resist it. you may as well prepare to be away from Hawkins for a good, long while, because if you want him to breed you into unconsciousness....well, he can absolutely make that happen for his little angel.

[wraithsoutlaws]

A - Acrobatics H - Horny N - Nature R - Random Ryder*

for Dagger *listen, I'm getting my shit together here now asking bc this is on my mind for quite a while, so I use this given lifetime opportunity rn and going to be bold about that (even asking publicly — jeez, so not me), but yes — I wanna know if Dagger would consider spending some time with him or not. uwu vanishes into air

A - Acrobatics - How bendy can they get in bed? What is their favourite position? Dagger is very flexible in general, its pretty likely that he can just about figure into any position and he has no problem trying things out. That being said, he usually prefers something that gives him control, and he'll maneuver/manhandle his partner to his liking. We'll say..he likes easy access, and most of the time he's not looking for anything tender or intimate, so he often prefers his partners from behind, vulnerable and at his mercy. Though there are times that he likes them on top, to watch them unravel, and if they're special enough to him, allowing them to bite/mark/taste him too.

H - Horny - How easily aroused that person is, and what drives them crazy?

It can be pretty easy tbh and he's not one to ignore or push those urges back in the least. He's got some strange triggers and kinks and a mind unrestrained and in the gutter. Fighting is a good way to do it for him. Pain and blood specifically, he really gets off on that. Sometimes it's as easy as a lingering teasing glance that holds his attention and though it's not something he'd admit to, he can get jealous easily which also leads to him wanting somebody even more. He also likes people who don't fit in (often unapologetically). That alone will catch his eye and draw him closer.

N - Nature - Have they ever thought about having sex outside, or doing other inappropriate things there?  Dagger basically lives outside, so this is actually pretty standard and natural for him. He's used to sneaking around nomad camps or just having no roof over his head in general, its never been a question for him. He doesn't really mind being around other people when he does either, and often times won't even try to be sneaky about it anymore. This is just a facet of being around in his space. He has no shame really.

R - Random - RYDER

Oh he would definitely be okay with that UwU Maybe they happen to be in the same bar, how could he not buy the pretty dude in all black a drink? UwU Some light conversation and maybe they argue about music and who knows where the night goes UwU

[only-lonely-lovers]

08.06.2022

tags: fingers in throat, blowjobs, pantomime, hair pulling, handjobs, knifeplay, injury, blood

notes: link to PART 1

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

つ：it's so much simpler rn than Tsukasa can imagine….. and more ah. going to happen no matter what.

あ：Perhaps a comically miserable visual of, like, Tsukasa being in a heap around knocked over school desks and getting lifted by the collar.

つ：mmm yiss…. dark classroom

あ：the dramaticism of Hanako just pinning Tsukasa during the mitsuba debacle, like, he just has this capacity. to be like IMMEDIATELY slams you against a surface, against a desk. clawing at fabric. m…. i actually like him losing all concept of a plan honestly and everything coming out in sheer impulse, like, starting to just hump like an animal. holds you by the throat and cranes to kiss. ah… but the satisfaction of holding with inhuman amounts of strength…

Ugh, you know, I don't think Hanako is… a good or fair boy, I do think he tries to keep things separate on instinct, behaviors… I do think there are things he does with Nene alone that he purposefully doesn't want to be spectated on by Tsukasa, and it goes both ways actually. Things you just wouldn't want Nene to see and react to, have commentary on. it's unfair of him but he plays unfair and likes the sense of control… Unreasonably self-justifying in the moment, It's my right to get to do this-- I, can choose, what you all see, you already work against me and do all this crazy shit to me… and make me insane… so… RHG….

frenzied rambling, between clutching and grabbing and biting, like, "Is this what you wanted? This? You wanted me to get like this, didn't you." [venting, aloud, frustration] "What's wrong with you-? Why does it have to be like this. Why would you want it? Again… and again." [growling] "But-- but no, it's worse this time. It's getting worse…"

つ：Amane wants to keep everything under control… there really would be things he wants to say, do, with Nene, ways of holding and handling her, that he doesn't want Tsukasa to see, learn from, know… and… maybe even ways touching her in front of him would somehow feel bad. Amane is avoiding piano wire in every direction… wire he is placing around. Boundaries he insists on maintaining to keep things feeling controlled….. for all of these concessions he appears to be making, Tsukasa knows it is only the tip of the iceburg.

あ：It's a looong slow process to start integrating things..

つ：ah… a breathless Tsukasa, mouth is agape as always, its like an open window with just a slight breeze parting through it. Like he can't think and breathe larger exhales at once. Worse is an interesting word. It's interesting Amane would use it. He seems mad-- but he was seeking him, so it's not that Tsukasa messed up. He's mad, but he wanted to find him, to be mad at. He's often replying in somewhat non-sequitur ways. "I didn't know you'd want to see me. you don't do this! You surprised me!"

あ：the sincerity…. the way Tsukasa simply commenting openly about things, can feel like arrows at someone, like. it's true I don't. Ughh.h… [shakes] [squeezes torso] Paradoxically, you want to argue, I DON'T want to see you

つ：ever difficult……. and watching you be difficult.

あ：Though, I think the sentence like, feels too shitty to say, but he's visibly working his mouth… as if there's bile in it, so struggling is Amane. Tsukasa can watch with big eyes

settling on something like… "I have to do this." cryptic… trying to phrase it like, its out of my hands. [drags hand over face…] "It has to go somewhere."

though ugh feeling like… TSUKASA… you know … YOU KNOW YOUR BROTHER IS INSANE!! [crying]…. YOU UNDERSTAND . LIKE. COME ON….

"You know this-!" voice cracking

つ：nods nods nods nods… hai hai hai….!! "I see!" ah……… a pleasant feeling… of being the receptacle for Amane's less savory urges. Absorbing them….. like a liver absorbs poisons, so the body can continue its processes. It's incidental that they are where they are…. in a dark classroom, windows covering the far wall behind them, chairs rested on top of desks all around like brambles, the area they are in a bit upended….. the moon and stars shining in through the window. Tilts his head. "Should I be quiet?"

あ：Hmm…. Despite everything… somehow… the fluidity of Tsukasa's reply induces some sense of serenity, bizarrely contrasting everything felt just a moment ago. Like… ah. Starting to load in that it's finally time to just… to not think about. What I want to do. and, just get to , do it… some feeling of like, ah, of course, Tsukasa is the same as ever, and is going to say something like that. [this is painful to swallow as well, but doesn't interrupt anything.] Leans back. Subconsciously, he's drinking in the atmosphere. Night time… night lighting… seeing Tsukasa in the night. Stokes something. Inhales… sweat dripping down face. Swallows.

Voice drops, lower, quieter. "No." Tinkling sound, of metal from buckle jostling, belt being undone. Reaches forward and catches jaw, quickly. And shoves fingers into his mouth, into the back of his throat. coating them… then, wrapping hands around himself. "This is actually the one time you shouldn't be." Uncontrollably huffing. Like. You're actually loud at all the wrong times.

Entering a state of psycho calm. and then psycho psycho.

つ：XD xD HE SISSLSIALADIKL he saidthat but glgl;gkg❤️ ahhhouhhueouh noooo ❤️ ahh I mean yesss❤️ or is it… ahh…. LOOKS down too quickly, mouth agape, not wiping off the spit dripping…. a very pleasant "haaaaaiiiii" which sounds well-dizzied and airheaded. aouho…. ehoueh..??? ffind me to do…. for this? he doesn't seem so angry anymore <3? maybe he's not mad at me really….. ❤️? it has to go somewhere, he said…. he said that…. perhaps assumingly, starts sinking towards the ground, to his knees…….. usually, he'd wait for Amane to directly move him this way or that, but he's not thinking well right now. algourhgggdfdsf… like a little music box, mind plays Amane calling his name into the hallway….

あ：of course it is like this . [forces self to not look away]

mn… but you like how much Tsukasa can feel like a minx without even meaning to, like, genuinely just is overwhelmed and excited and responding, but on Amane's end it's like. [lip curls from disdain. from the slut body.] [but also starts jerking self off without thinking] like ooh. hand just starts moving.

What are we doing. [flat voice]

つ：I imagine for tsukasa it's like, ah being a mindless little animal, for Amane you have to watch this all and its like. very lidded and pleasant and drooly. oruhgh. why…… looking hugely desperate for it. sssssgggz.

あ：why would it even…. [me mentally simmering thinking about belt harness for blowjob] m……. the art

つ：ugh its nice to think abouuuut…. really make tsukasa feel like he's in a particular situation. we're not stopping any time soon

あ：it's…. a situation where amane isn't going to be considerate at all about exhaustion… like mguh the limiters that are usually on. gone. sex for hours stop acting like human

つ：the illusion of humanity gets to be gone. typically speaking…. you wouldn't want to spend hours doing things to tsukasa while nene is incapacitated as she's a human……. and you can't spend so long doing things to nene herself…..

あ：it's like rude. and also i think amane genuinely struggles with ahhh being that. indulgent wwww…. it's such a back and forth with him, i think when he really relishes in something it's ephemeral by nature.

as much as he can get a little tyrant boyking. he's got nerfs.

つ：hard to live in it for too long

the one boon of being alone with tsukasa… is there's no pretense to keep up. it's all an illusion. as much as he can be barfing limitless amounts of 'blood' while teru messes with him, then simply talk calmly to kou 2 minutes later. it's all just some symbolism the body retains for flourishes

あ：mmnn yeah… like… in this case there's only "the spirit is willing" in a sense we're not… people… we don't need to eat or sleep

つ：we don't need 'breaks'…..

あ：like not going to get dizzy and pass out

つ：once it's indulging… you want to do the next thing you've errantly thought about. this, that, the other thing, all of it. and just humping bent over desk.

あ：tasteful breaks for pantomime and rutting… bend over this, flip him here i like to think about lacing fingers while bodies flush from behind.. has this pleasant wrapped around against feeling to it overlaid atop

つ：with a tsukasa instructed to not be quiet…. ah. the room is filled with 'Amane, Amaaaneeee, Amane, Ah," laughing…… hiccuping. squeaky sounds of shoes on school tile scrambling to stay upright.

this feels equivalent to breaking a bunch of bottles against some cement walls for managing stress.

あ：It's roughly the equivalent Feels like ingesting poison flirting with something you know you shouldn't… you just know this.

つ：Amane laughing out at some point…. "We really can't let her see this….." breathing… "it's not. About. Embarrassment…. or humility…. really…." huff…. huff. wiping his nose. thinking about it all. "Wouldn't it be easier if it was just that. But it's not. She can't… see me. Doing this." GRABS Tsukasa by the hair… hikes him up. "Who would willingly be a part of this? … except you."

"It doesn't look good. it's not a good look for me." too-casual sounding about it. like this is an image problem

あ：rolls shoulders.

Getting too comfortable in this state… ah but it is like, releasing pressure from somewhere, to just sigh and say things. Unsavory things. But stuff you carry around internally, constantly. As much as Tsukasa is allowed to be noisy, it's permission for himself, also, to just say it. Address it. Dryly almost. like hahaha. It's funny isn't it.

the way Amane himself gets very ^^ when unhinged… it's just like, ahh… "It's like, there was a reason I could never have a girlfriend before. Don't you think." pause. "Even if everything in life was completely normal, idyllic."

つ：tsukasa kicks legs around behind him pleasantly. Laughs a little, a heeheehee

"I think Nene-chan would be ready for more than you think." brushes up against him pleasantly. "If you were ready for thaaaaat…."

あ："You think. Hmm." [reaches and hooks thumb into mouth, rubs teeth.] "Well, I think you're too sick to be able to tell something like that." [moves jaw from side to side] "There's something wrong with you too, you know."

"You're speaking from a biased position."

つ：AHHH WE'RE HAVING FUN❤️❤️ [mouth compromised] "aaahoumahbuee"

あ：[tabbing thumb in and out of mouth] "Don't you just want me to have anything I want…? So it doesn't really matter what Yashiro is 'ready' for. If I did it anyways, you'd be happy to watch. Wouldn't you."

"That's not very fair, or reliable."

つ：ohhhhh but it doesn't matterrrrr❤️ "MNSHe wan's what" his finger exited. "you want, too, hehe. We're all like that….! but…."

"….. maybe it's…. a little bad…." touching finger to own mouth, thinking. "for a living body…." "it's hard to remember….."

あ：think it through. "It's dangerous." [fingers leisurely threading around throat… walking them up along the skin, tracing jaw, nape] "You two aren't worried enough about these things. So, I have to be."

つ：tsukasa's alignment of like mnnyyaaaaa everything should just happen that you want to happen sweetie even if it breaks. the world or bones❤️

あ：that is his alignment. but if nene wants to risk getting a crushed pelvis…………….. o3o it's her choice…………………………..

つ：but if she wants your truth ah i remember this damn tumblr post… which someone was saying was like,a piece of paper they errantly found tucked into a book. and it said something like… "How much can a body endure? Almost anything." it lives in my brain….

あ：Mnn you love words…….

💮つ："Amane….." ah… playing with fire. "I wonder……… do you like some things…… being just between us?"

"I'd love to share everything with Nene-chan… she's a good girl. I think she deserves it….."

"….. but maybe it's a little hard to think about giving up?" "you were so resolute…. back then…"

____________________

💔FORK 1🎇

あ：This is playing with fire. Mm… but you're both knowingly doing this… Amane knows that mentioning past at all, in any way, is dangerous, it comes with a distant feeling of being on edge. He lives his life purposefully never engaging with his past and obfuscating things, and, I think there is genuinely risk to even mention that your favorite food is donuts (it was something you shared with Tsukasa…) You know you shouldn't… Every step of this is, I know I shouldn't…

Tsukasa would immediately feel the movement still, attentive to how all indulgent touch has been snuffed. But the hands at his neck don't move either, locked in place, Amane is statuesque. It's like… a cold, nauseating feeling immediately interspersed in his bloodstream, having been injected from the base of the neck, into the spine. It mingles with the heat of the still-aroused body. Still having heat pooled at the pelvis… It's really like.. vision blurs…. Breathing coming out more ragged. a minute ticks by, in silence.

つ：take your time❤️

あ：Mn… hands peel away… to clutch at face, hide face. Starting to cry… but, ah, it IS a feeling of grief, at the concept of having to 'give this up'… To have to relinquish something… He doesn't like to think of himself as someone holding onto something, but by definition he is, like, viciously protective of this all. When I think about the Amane possessively wrapped around the moon… but then, also, how even in Picture Perfect, which is all about trapping and keeping Nene for himself, he's still repeating his mantra of not going anywhere. You're still mentally living in your own proclamation, like, it just felt so good to say back then, and you've defined yourself by this…

つ：its… genuinely hard to 'keep living', so to speak. it's hard. to move forward.

あ：It feels so much like someone feeling like they have no choice to make concessions (I'M NOT AMANE, I'LL NEVER BE AMANE, I LEFT MY LIFE BEHIND…) but also keeping their fingers dug into whatever they have left

つ：develop… advance… whatever. it would be easiest to just touch yashiro's life and send her on her way…. and keep this thing with tsukasa bound in the basement.

あ：Somehow existing between not wanting to ever think about it, but being unable to think about leaving it…

つ：reaching for him…. rubbing thumb over his wrists…..

あ：I can 't have it, it's too beautiful, it's gone and dead, it's gone from me, i'll never have it again… [grieving]

つ：smiling, though…. "… did I spoil it? Awwe…. but I wanted you to keep going." "Maybe you really shouldn't let me talk." lighthearted❤️

あ：mnnmhng….. [reaching for…] [settles hands at either side of face…] [pulls to be forehead to forehead.] needs to sulk. like. can't… talk… but god thinking. with my stupid little amane brain

つ：its a feeble little brain nuzzles, rubs cheeks, rubs face into shoulder, back up to jaw, all over

あ：hm i want to contemplate like potential branches.. like if avvy would want to spitball things. like fun options crazy options

つ：oh syure. contemplate forks possible to just shut down, and possible to not shut down….

あ：for more shut-down path i'd still be curious if like… if he could manage an admittance, still. very very beleaguered and barely getting through "… it is. hard. but why-?" like sounding betrayed by self. but also hearing himself say it is like grooannns MOANS IN MISERY…

つ：becomes child

あ：mistake. i said it SULKING…

つ：hugs him. pities him very much. suppresses the shudder but feels this seep into his body as a fact. mmmmmm….

あ：rambling, muttering, like, "i don't know why. shouldn't… it shouldn't. but it was never supposed to. be like this. any of it. it's all wrong…" "i don't know how it got like this"

つ："It wasn't what you had planned. At all."

あ：shakes head.

つ："it's unfair, like that!"

あ：nods.

つ：thinking about it all… "you wanted oblivion for us." strokes his hair…….

thinking, its easy to see where amane struggles.. if only it was a full-measure, in any direction. nothing but tsukasa…. or everything but tsukasa. it's terrible he's so supportive, too… why and how doesn't he feel betrayed, sometimes? he's just not…. if tsukasa ran off and got a girlfriend gklf;k;jgfkg;…..

あ：the amount this could not come to pass wrhghfjd

つ：it sucks to hold onto any of it preciously, and not even 100% of it….! It makes no sense…. it really is like. ah i do all that and i'm not even like . . in love fkldjf;k with my brother help fklg;fg!!! why are we just still such. normal siblings (not normal) (but you know) …. wiouh.

あ：im hte kind of guy who would kill your girlfriend. i am sorry it's like why do i need to possess you-- WHY??!??/GH FDG/H maybe getting hysterical really thinking this over. like oh my god… but why!!

つ：its liek god but if i'm so fucking weird why wasnt i just doing this for 50 years fklds;fjksf

あ：[rubbing knuckles against eyes]

つ：WHY'D I NEED-- OURGHOJLHK so many steps

あ：[voice cracking] "Actually, aren't you sick of it all…? Aren't you tired of it. ME? What I'm doing-- or, what I'm not doing-? The way I treat someone who is supposed to be. 'Precious.' To me. Isn't it absurd. Running from this all, because of what I can't take. But then, it's not even that, I take everything out on you alone, or, that I'm done with you completely… It's not safe in the past, but it doesn't belong in the present. What's wrong with me?"

[one completely black eye sort of crazy] "I just do whatever I want to you, but in a careless way. I'M not even happy about it. No one is! No one's happy." [shaking] "YOU can't be happy. You can't be." [digging fingers into white button up… threading into gaps]

"We talk about unfair, but, isn't it the most unfair to be you? I made sure you'd never have anyone that isn't me. But it doesn't work both ways."

つ：blinks. looking at him. It's gotten interesting! He's saying so much….

"I'm happy!" laughs-- too easily! "It's simple for me. It's always been! So simple! You remember, don't you? It's different for you. Always has been! Thats O-K, Amane." "I thought you needed to go to the moon to be happy. And travel the world. You really wanted such big things! Big, big, grand things…! It looked like…. I'm not like that. Well, it turned out you didn't need that….."

"… we're still figuring out what you need, aren't we….? Nene-chan, too….. she's eager to find out. You should be, too…. we're a little closer, aren't we? To whatever it is? I'm excited, Amane!"

"I'm excited to find out what it looks like. I wonder how much of the past is inside it. Or is it outside of that? I wonder? I wonder….."

あ：[whining… bemoaning…] "How can you be excited…" feeling gut seize, thinking about this all. manages a miserable laugh. "I'm… TERRIFIED… to find out."

つ：licks his face. "But it'll feel good, once you find it out" "you'll start feeling good, all the time, have what you want" "I've been waiting for that!" "it's only scary for now!"

あ：[voice lowers…] "It's not that it doesn't feel good." "really… that's… the problem." "So often." [exhales] "It feels good." "But it's… a sickening kind of good… You know…?" [tilting head lower…] "It's… warped. It doesn't look right." "No one's supposed to feel like this. Humans, supernaturals. Maybe, especially supernaturals."

つ：touches forehead to and nuzzles back and forth "you're special…. aaaahhh… it's so exciting…." tugs at sleeves, shirt….. "so exciting…. Amane, you're not like anything else…. nothing is made for you….. nothing in this world….." panting…. "they didn't make it for you… that's why it's wrong… " panting….. "God should have made it all for you."

あ：[mouth twisting…] [feeling prickles down neck.] he ah, he can't stop an involuntary little throaty sound. slips past the teeth. legs shuffle.

"Careful."

ah it feels so… ssss… you should know better than to… start saying something so. sssssss.s…. It's like Tsukasa is punctuating what he just mentioned, making him feel. So good that it is just nauseating. What is this… why can we communicate like this

つ："If it's not for you, it's worthless…." I WILL NOT BE CAREFUL. Choppy laughter, in the throat…. "If you didn't want me.. I'd be worthless." wheeze. "I thought I was, Amane… but I'm not…. that feels so good. You can't imagine."

"the things you care about, Amane, they're different…. you make them different…. Nene-chan, too… "

"I know it's all for you, really…. everything… I know… can't you feel it, a little…."

あ：[hand quietly drifts to clutch at stomach… buttons of gakuran jacket digging into palm. thinking of various things, the searing here, the way arousal pools here, the way this is where he stabbed himself, thinking about the knife that is always going to be inside his form.]

"….v… ..f… ov.f….. course. I can." it's like the mouth stings to say any of it. mm… voice is devoid of any tone. speaking, possessed. "-- you can tell, can't you. That I feel something so. Wonderfully terrible, incredibly, incredibly horrible. It's beyond… what someone could call 'entitlement'. There's not a word for it." pupils shaking. "Whatever you can call it. It's the sort of mindset of someone who felt they could just have an entire person's life." sharp inhale. "Just-- just take it. I just took it. And I loved to take it. And now it's always mine."

"But-- Tsukasa." eyes squinted. "Isn't it terrible that it's always felt like that, really-? If you think back. And back and back and back… so far back… before anything was even wrong. Isn't it-- the same, from the start-? What you always were, to me." licks teeth.

"It's insane. Who feels that?" starts laughing… "Just, about, their little brother. Sooner feeling like you were something I owned like the toys you brought me. Than just wanting to kiss you!"

"But before I even cared about Yashiro as a person I saw her like, an animal to put in a tank to keep. Haha." hand darts out quickly, clutches Tsukasa's, and brings it to rest over his own stomach.

つ：dutifully rubs stomach with thumbs, tilting head at it….

"You know. I wonder how Nene-chan feels. Maybe she wouldn't know what to saaay… it's hard for living humans to think like this. But it got real easy after the first time I died for you, to know. It was real easy, like, 'ah, it's meant to be like this'!…… I think Nene-chan feels it too! We'll hear it one day, I'm sure, I'm sure…. or, you will, maybe. When you're alone. Or maybe she'll tell me first." getting distracted pointlessly on details

"Anyone can want to kiss someone else. That would have been fine. Like us eating the same things. I would have liked that too. But it wasn't like that. It was bigger." "I could feel it, so I did what I did."

あ：[just quietly listening… mn……] [resigned…. bumps hips upward a little. barest twitches.]

つ："… WHATS SO INTERESTING IS THAT IT'S ALL COMBINING!" REALLY LOUD OPEN MOUTHED

あ：[like you dropped an anvil on him.] [just like. "."]

つ："ITS A LITTLE LIKE EVERYTHING, NOW, SOMEHOW……" "YOU WANNA DO THAT STUFF, TOO" "so it's not just the weird eternal ownership thing"

あ："Uhuh." "Do you think it's better or worse like this."

つ："I thought you had a thing with me like that and then you were horny for Nene-chan" "which is different, you know? it's two things"

あ：jesus.

つ："but her thing changed my thing…. and now its like this" "I like this." pats hands on

あ："It's not just like." "Creepy."

つ："I never thought about this stuff" "creepy…………………………" thinking

あ："I didn't either."

つ："oh? I thought you thought about this stuff a lot"

あ："I mean." "Like, specifically, with you."

つ："ah. oh no. not that. It wasn't my impression, of you. This."

"I owe Nene-chan a lot because now I get to kiss with you sometimes. Actually it's almost mean if something is exclusive to me. But I forgive everything"

あ：Humming. contemplative. rubbing wrist.

つ：rubs ankles with

あ："… it's funny. I've definitely thought this is all Yashiro's fault. But in an unflattering way. Like-- I never would be out here thinkin about kissing you if it weren't for her. And now I'm." …………………………… shakes head. "-- wait, but. You know. Before I met her. I did think about sex, but, it was almost… Abstract." …………………. why am I talking about this… is this that gay shit that Tsukasa and Yashiro do all day, like talk together

shrugs internally. "Like, I had to think about it." jerk off motions. "And yet. I didn't ever imagine myself with someone or… mn. Doing, anything, it was actually pretty gross. To. In that way, it'd actually sooner be us doing something." lol.

[rubs mouth with back of hand] "… I've had to think about this lately… because of everything. It's exhausting to think about, though. This is why I'm miserable all the time, by the way."

つ：wowwww the information…. the data!!!! briefly hypnotized by jerkoff motion and thinking about younger amane dah real shotacon in da chat

あ：screams

つ：more shotacon than yashiro

あ：every time tsukasa is made to think about young amane being sexual

つ：HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

あ：wait a minute. this is honestly cute though its like tsukasa is remembering a crush i loveded him

つ：aoaouuuouuuuhhhh that dreamboat 7 year old. cassanova walking me aroun the festival booths ordering me a candy apple. ruff

あ：[jenny voice THESE HUNKS] that hunk…. smelly from hot summer air young amane memories tsukasa has

つ："It looks pretty hard for you to think about." still sortof blank eyed thinking about sexuality feat Amane "I would have liked it any time" very simply said. spacing out "I didn't think about anything like that"

あ：[rolling hips. casually somehow.]

つ："I can now" tap taps shoe on ground hueuuehe

あ：[observing tsukasa like huhm.] "You definitely would have liked it any time."

つ：NOD NOD NOD un. un un.

あ：tashkani…

"And. It would've been laughably easy. To make you do anything." blinks. "If I wanted to just jerk off all day but into your mouth. It could've been that simple." reclines a bit. "I don't think I'd even have to say anything. Oh. If only I had known." [really dry tone.]

つ："aahaaha… ahg." curls in a little like a bug. "I wish," a word that rarely passes Tsukasa's own lips "I had known, too" hands…. pull uselessly at Amane's clothes, still around the stomach area of his gakuran. hh.. its so hard to keep everything Tsukasa knows inside of his own head-- things are constantly falling out, shuffling around. I think fantasies are genuinely hard to… produce? make room for? cobble together? he's got so many real memories to thumb through, past and present… it's so hard to piece together imaginary ones, he doesn't naturally do it at all. He's typically so content to thumb through memories or do more menial entertaining things like popping bubble wrap… he's so preoccupied with what's in front of him or what's happened. Freezes the programming…. to try to envision something that didn't happen. Feels like he's manually cutting pictures out of magazines with scissors and pasting things together out of sorts. Clumsy with the scissors

あ：[observes.]

It's rather entrancing to see… As, Tsukasa is often seemingly unflappable, even when Amane is frustrated, crying, throttling him, he really radiates this [infuriating…] pleasantness, like it all delights him. Just loves it all so much. Any sort of faltering is like, mn…. [Amane experiencing his own -praying mantis stare-] It's so interesting to hear him wish for something, pointedly, this isn't lost on Amane either… So rarely does Tsukasa ever direct want, like this… and yet, ah, it's not unfamiliar also, for Tsukasa to feel 'small' and like he got overwhelmed by something. Endearing.

[sadist lizard brain enjoys seeing struggle. objectively] [condescending comfort gland activates as well] … spurs Amane to reach up and ruffle hair, under the hat, affectionately. cup face, rub thumbs against cheeks.

"… it's a lot to think about, isn't it? Even for you." Piteous tone. tut tut…. smirks. "… you've never thought about it before, either, have you. Haha. I'm ahead of you…" it's me , your psychosexual brother. ❤️ "don't hurt yourself, now."

つ：ah, but Tsukasa isn't filled with struggle like Amane… just laughts, pants, enjoys the feeling of… vision blurring and brain fuzzy, words feeling farther away. "Ah… have you thought… about it? Before? I hav'n' thought, 'boutit" childish-sounding… as if trying to think about the past kindof gets him mixed up

as simple as Tsukasa doesn't know HOw to think about something like this…… ah, it's like he's not…. creative

あ：…………………….. [trying to not be wigged] ahaha. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. yes. lol.

つ：stay cool

あ：I can't freak out right now. ❤️ Or I willf uckign kill you again [pretending to be a normal person] "Ohhhhhhhh. Yeah. Here and there. I have a lot of time. To think about things."

つ："You're amazing Amane!" so earnestly impressed and childish sounding

あ："Uhuh." [moves hands, to, direct tsukasa to start jerking him off.] [like. lets just.] griffin voice Can we please move on

つ：OH RIGHT!!!! here as well it's happening!! its so hard to juggle things!!!!!! grips hand around. But it's…. choppy, as if he's using bandwidth on… thinking… mmnrngnh

mnnnn its like [brain chugging] Amane… [envisions this age, but in his summer uniform] like that… nnn, wait, ah, wait [envisions… ENVISIONS….. ENVISIONS!!!! MMNNGGH… IN… YUKATA!!!!!!!!!]

あ：cute, honestly… like not doing a good job…. lol…

つ：obviously distracted… tsukasa's typical disease would be like. threatening to jerk your cock off your body so its pretty different he's usually pretty hyperfocused on it if anything

あ：It's not frustrating as much as it is like. kind of fascinating

つ：ENVISIONNNN…!!! mmnnn… wnrnnrngnmgg… sick… SICK BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY PEA!!!!!!!!

あ：Hmm like.. Amane keeps hand overlaid, over wrist/hands, to assist

つ：SQUEEZING "can I," brain really trying "can I ?" uouh… "uah.. uhh…."

あ："… 'can you'….?"

つ："can I … " squinting "thhhink? Think about….. can we think about… uahh.. eh…n…." ah, what are… numbers ?? ages ?? how do I… ah brain is so deconstructed. it's flipping through too much… pulling up all the files. "sick… before I made you better…."

"Amane…. " it's so hard. it's like iits just amane it doesn't have another name….

あ：[staring…] Like… jesus

つ：your fucking. pedophile brother. its like the emotion for a second a fucking four year old? hello?

あ：like mn. huh? wait. lool……… Amane who is like thinking about when his cock manifested unto him

つ：don't even talk to me about extremities at age 4 may as well have barely had fingers. let alone

あ：What a moment to space out and be like -- whahuh ………………….. sick..? when i was sick… [thinking about the agonies]

つ：its like tsukasa not… having a regular sexuality does make this amane as applicable to hims brain as any, there's no puberty delineation "your… heart….." places hand over his chest

あ：really chewing on this one. you've made him so contemplative that he can't like be a jerk though i swear like . Can't make fun of you, it's just so strange… like oh tsukasa. ??? what dont i know about you, i thought you didnt think about sex for a long time. it almost feels paradoxical to be that far back, wouldnt you only do that if you were a horny 4yo lol

"… back then." starts gently.

"… quite a while back…. mn…" thinks… "… ah, the days, they were a blur even back then for me." shuffles. "… slept a lot… but also, was tired, all the time."

つ：nods…. nods…. bumps head to chest memories… of Amane's weak little heart beating in his chest… working hard. Pounding for nothing….. his lungs rattling as he wheezed….

あ："… waking up coughing. Couldn't see straight…" is just trying to remember what the body would have been like, factually. have to load in these details.

つ：nuzzles against him… his hand is still around him, but stilled. can't maintain thoughts and actions well

あ：It'ssss… an interesting place to be… Amane doesn't lose awareness of the hand wrapped around him. He's actually trying to marry all these thoughts and then the current sensation. "You know… even eating, hurt so much. You remember." hums… "… you'd have to move slow."

can't help being a LITTLE mean… "… I would be trusting you with a lot… to be careful." "… you could get too excited…"

つ：urrrughh!!! "I'D BE GOOD" "PLEASE!!"! ONEGAI its like hes there

あ：[feels like 20 emotions at once but somehow like feels arrogant at the end of this.] thats right beg…. to touch my cock…. it would be a privilege. "oh……. you'd be good…. you promise."

つ："MHMM!!!"

あ：lol… …………………………………………… it's cute, i guess.

つ："it would be liked? WHhow abouh-- howab, bout Tanabata? Tah-- in-- when we--" little pea going 100mph "then too, also, the-- one where-- the one in-- the one time, the…"

あ：wow look at him go. he's going so fast. Amane who is like still in the sick bed. like damn

つ：urg there were multiple festivals weren't there…. argh…. how do you delineate time?? I look at him my brain says AMANE!!!! it's 'amane' but it's 'specific amane'

あ："You sure you wouldn't be too distracted." "At Tanabata." bully

つ："your-- MOON! YUKATA" like he has 1 hand on a single detail. THAT ONE…… "NOT IF" "not if we were!!! doing something"

あ："I see." sou………. [thinks] "Ah- we did have matching yukata, didn't we, yours had the sun." [kinda sneers but says it anyways] "So sentimental…"

つ：nod nod nod nod nod

あ："Mm, it would be fine then, a lot less to worry about. No coughing. It'd be so easy to sneak off somewhere. We were just running around for hours, by ourselves."

"Honestly I feel like we could do it behind a stall or something. Who'd be looking."

つ："its romantic to kiss at Tanabata" reporting a fact he read somewhere

あ：UHUH?

つ：a magazine in a shop said this to me once and i remember it

あ：like amane's suddenly remember oh yeah stupid. the love holiday. fuck lol

つ：i think tsukasa. does consistently fsr contemplate kissing as a concept

あ：are we gonna FUCK on valentines day next

つ：you gonna remember what i wore on valentine's day.

あ："….. 'romance'….." "Is it romantic to suck cock on Tanabata, do you think."

つ："behind a stall, yeah, yeah…" distracted with the other thought line still… while amane is juggling that "MHM? IT'S A KIND OF KISS" "kiss, but elsewhere" "it's kissing."

あ：[raises brows] penisu kissu.

つ：its like ouhhg has tsukasa been thinking of blowjobs as kisses this whole time…. "it's kissing" again.

あ：maybe tsukasa really is still like 5 years old. andim the monster maybe

つ：might be true.

あ："I guess it is."

つ：sometimes amane has to feel like why can this guy wig me sometimes? am i just reactive…. so hard to remember everything he can freaking. do and say when he is like this.

あ：It's like hm…. maybe I just need to have a more resolute attitude Just focus and not get wigged

"Tsukasa… it's sounding like you just would love to kiss all day or something."

つ：NOD nod nod nod. press head into

あ：ohm…. it just feels so harmless when its like this though, whats the opposite of feeling like you're walking into a landmine. like we're at the kitty pool slow blinks [takes hat off. kisses head. out of pity.]

つ：he has it so bad… it is the same kind of pity one can feel for yashiro, really you dumb animals…..

あ：Like hm… as much as tsukasa talks about everything being fine and he couldn't ask for more. in moments like these it feels so, like, this poor animal. i think he's just too stupid to think about wanting stuff

つ：he just doesn't have the presence of mind now does he….. of course he'd LIKE more if he even thought about it

あ：i guess ignorance is bliss. i wouldnt want him like crying about wanting to kiss at tanabata or something maybe its for the best [resigned.] I guess, it would feel pretty good.

[generously, like throwing a fishbone to an alley cat] "We spent so much time running around the yard, you remember. It'd be pretty easy to sneak off behind the trees." "The property was so big. Lots of bushes, tall grasses…"

つ：THE TREES?!??! briefly visibly conceptualizes the yard and trees, hnnngh visualize

あ："So dense. All the flowers and everything."

つ："So pretty," experiencing it

あ："And who would think to look."

つ："so pretty… smelled nice…. we-- can-- do it by your favorites, the yellow ones?"

あ："… uhuh…" "… ambiance…"

つ：thinking about…. the smells of that Amane…. hot, warm, a fevered-feeling body, and then…. later….. how the heat felt it was leaving him…. like heat couldn't make it through his limbs. arms cold to the touch… sweat cold.

あ："The difference between spring or summer… early summer, late summer…."

つ：nods….. "when you could still go with me, and, then couldn't" "kiss…."

あ：pets back, shoulders. "Could kiss before you run off…" "Actually, I'd be shitty, and jealous of you getting to be outside without me. If we were doing something like this, I think I'd try and trap you with me." i know that bitch…

つ："aaoouuuhhh I don't have to fetch anything if I can use my self" touches lip with free hand. "if your favorite thing was me" this isn't meant to hurt him, but ….

あ：ahm… misery… [clutches fabric of kimono tightly for a moment] "-- hey…." "… c'mon." like. dont be like that.

つ：❔

あ："… it's not like you weren't…"

つ："AH. right!" it's hard…. it's odd, he just lapses back into the mental state… of thinking about 'things Amane likes'…. thinking of little bits n baubles

あ：[HUFFS…] "-- I didn't ask you to constantly bring me things…" "… It was." CMON MAN!!!!!!!! "-- nice of you. To. Like. You know. But you didn't have to."

つ：wide eyed looking at nothing…. thinking….. "It didn't do anything, mhmm"

あ：(it all is just going to sound 'bad'…….)

つ："--AH. FORGOT… WE'RE-- " GRIPS hand around again "sorry, sorry!! Distracting….!"

あ：fjdjgh dgh [WAKES UP]

つ：strokes a few times. ouhhh i forgot!!! still THINKING though…. it was smaller back then, wasn't it…!! it was smaller….

あ：Oh my god the experience. It's such an unintended rollercoaster. like fksdghdfj g h…. k …

つ："do you think it tasted different? Probably. You don't smell like you used to." rambling, looking at it

あ：[barking] "--TSUkasa." god do you make me so Ooh.

つ："when you were sick, your mouth smelled like medicine all day" "i smelled it a lot cuz you breathed hard next to me"

stroke… stroke stroke…. staring down at it, thinking "that stuff mom would put in your water… that powdery stuff. leafs? that stuff"

あ：[just trying to like roll with this all, focus on… in and out…] [closes eyes] "-- ugh, yeah, it was different." [uncontrollably like. baka.]

つ："we ate the same things all the time. it got different when you were sick. I drank it too once to know what it was like. it tasted real bad. Its fun to do all the same things."

mindless….. rambling "I wanted to smell like you were smelling, even though it was bad"

あ："I got sad when. It wasn't the same, all the time." "didn't feel fair and." frustrated, grabs his hands to direct faster. "--we couldn't sleep in the same room, anymore, either."

"I had to be in. pajamas. all day. we couldn't wear the same things all the time anymore." "… so when I got better, it's all I wanted to do." "The matching."

つ："Amane…." looks up at

あ：[winces] [looks away, licking teeth, like a nervous dog.] "What, does it surprise you. I'm. telling you." [shoves into hand…] "-- you were already. Mmh. Favorite." "-- it's. It can't be a surprise right." [rubs mouth, claws at face.]

つ：LAUGHS… "I know…. I know!! I know!!! I-- learned! I learned it… back then!" nnn nuzzles face "You don't… talk much! Hehe…. Like this….."

"its true, then, it's true… if it can happen now, it could happen any time… 'cuz its always true!"

あ："i know, i know, i know I don't…" incidentally parroting him like mgod i know i suck [closes eyes]

つ：he'm doesn't talk much about hims feefees ever❤️

あ：the emotion rn is so. UGhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. suki. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU HAPPY

つ：youuu stupid little idiot…. suki… moron

あ：stupid dummy tupis thg f…. i love yoh. OHHHHHHHHHHHHH is this what you all are crazy about

つ：this is why i cannot interact w you aruond nene its unconscionable she'd be all teary eyed too or something. unbearable

あ：gonna make me barf [come]

つ：2 gd puppies….

あ：I can't be alone with you because I feel like stabbing you and saying I love you…. It's a problem.

つ：we cannot coexist without it all coming back up like hay LEAVES hand from Amane, climbs onto him arms and legs instead, SQUEEZZZEEEEE its not good its misbehaving but i'm need to do'm it❤️

あ：sigh and yet I think it's so… [scrabbles, clutches] [despite the 💢…] ugh im here in the wild ride and its not stopping

つ：I like the thought of Amane just being like ugh….humps while holding like this.

あ：mindless continuation… i do like the energy of it

つ：eventually moves to a desk

あ：it is time to just get incoherent and be repeating names back and forth. haunt these halls i actually love how excessive it could be like entering the wee hours… the lighting in the room changing

つ：all the hours passing…. ah i love the idea, too. especially if like. at the time the school morning bell goes off its like KLFSJ;FKLS;JFSKDL;FJSKFL;FJSDKLF; for both of them

あ：we cant be like poltergeists fuckign in the classroom LFJKDKDK the bell goes off in the middle of the most like mindless activity like they're in the middle of necking

つ：devolving into repeating eachother's names in this position is sweet… reminiscing internally….

yes lolll like you're both in the throes of just relishing it and languidly touching, past the point of talking finally (amane RELIEVED)

and its like HIYEEEP . shit. SHIT but… drags tsukasa to his bathroom… sigh…. it doesn't… feel right to.. just separate to be like ok thats a wrap. go to your dungeon lets go.. hang out in my stall

あ：tsukasa starts holding your hand while you float there and its like. okay. this would be the funniest moment for nene to see them for 1 second but like they dont notice

つ：regression baby

あ：like down the hall

つ：like as they are absconding down the hall, she's in the distance like-- oh hana… ?k.. tsukasa….? d. do they. just hang out when i'm not around. what holding… hands??

あ：

what the h*ck!

つ：time to rush to the bathroom as soon as she's able to do so

あ：this is like the 4koma like. nene is like i NEED to understand and you hear sounds of fucking in that stall obviously

つ：and its like …………………………………………………………………………. i should respect them goes… back to class didn't know it was like that. .

あ：the way she has no perspetive and its like. i guess. this makes sense Hanako-kun jumps my bones sometimes alone so i.

つ：does not write any notes in class. yes. its like. well-- ok. i guess i just incidentally havent,, ran into it before it must simply go both ways … they do have all night…. they dont have to sleep, either

………………….maybe i dont need to pity tsukasa-kun so much in fact…..?? [thinks about if tsukasa just gets railed all night] is that why he's like that… so calm and content do i just get the daylight hours? what if its super fair actually godbless them….

あ：So Hanako-kun is just… idk… coy…. or something

つ：sf funny bc i feel like amane still humping tsukasa in the stall is just fully in his mindbroken state like uhgmgngmhhn i dont care if yashiro shows up actually fuck it ffffuck it all fuck it idc i'll do this until she comes here i'lfkd jsut kkeep doing wahtever I WANT TO DO I'M NOT HIDING THIS I'M NOT I WANT T [yashiro politely opens the general bathroom door, hears the noises behind a stall, leaves] none of these gd kids can hear me anyway FUCK IT1!!!!!

あ：Losing my fucking mind… I'll just be like that's right YOU SEE THIS? this is what I am this is what I feel, it's like THIS.

つ：YASHIRO CAN FIND US LIKE THIS I DONT CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WON'T EXPLAIN ANYTHING ITS BEEN GOING ON FOR HOURS BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I'M NOT DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WASTED TOO MUCH TIME TALKING I'M DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!! IG'M GTTA KEEP HIS MOUTH BUSY

あ：Lost too much mana taking psychic damage while being gay and vulnerable and shit Now its just like UGHHH let me come 100 times to get over it

つ：it's all loaded in finally as the anger i am familiar with agaim. got all tender there. hurt. i need to think with my cock again. for hours

あ：AND SAY MY NAME! SAY MY NAME. SAY MY NAME. SAY MY NAME. SAY MY NAME. SAY MY NAME. SAY MY NAME. SAY MY NAME. SAY MY NAME. SAY MY NAME. SAY MY NAME.

つ：its way too funny. it's so . incriminating. gkfl;gjkldf;kdhjklg;f its like . oh

あ：Exactly one thing could be happening in there

つ：tsukasa wailing AMANE, AMANE AMAAANEEEE AMANEEE AMANE. alternately clearly muffled by cock name its all like. a-ah….

あ：It's like you hear him calling Amane before being cut off by obviously being choked wjdgfd

つ：WHAM SLAM

あ：[hears them down the hall]

つ：k;dfjk;f its too funny. its like good thing akane has those glasses that make him a normal guy

sf funny bc idk when it comes time for like. lunch. amane would like stop. he'd be like ok but for real… yashiro is about to be available soon.

あ：rips you off of me like youre a leech

つ：recovers. does some stretches.

あ：You need to stop being my large boiling flask

つ：tsukasa flopped over a toilet im envisioning the facedown tsukasa in water

あ：Soo decimated

つ：finally wore out your dog

あ：It's like as much vitality as he is capable of, his little pea shouldnt vibrate that much for hours straight It's like a chip heating up in your brain going to cook it

つ：yes. he's simply had every thought too hard for too many hours. rattled excessively

あ：You need to go back to chewing on shoelaces or something

つ：the most energetic kid can't be like riding the same roller coaster for 8 hours

yashiro approaches the hallway… tentatively. asks kou to please not join her today. he's like …………………ok ….. she listens. no… noises

amane is picking his teeth when yashiro shows up up against a wall… like hiiiiii. [lord shen] …………hey. continues walking on in. sees open stall door. looks inside. sees tsukasa flopped unmoving like a corpse

あ：the most like how's class. [shuffling a deck]

whenever hanako is like this

つ："ah… its fine. Is Tsukasa-kun okay."

あ：It's sadly not reassuring for Hanako to be like "Huh. Oh………. yeah, he's fine."

つ：tsukasa lifts his arm shakily to do a peace sign at Nene descends it back down……….. "……….its nice to see you, Tsukasa-kun….. "

hanako-kun's libido…. is kind of scary to think about I-I guess he's… simply a supernatural…… and that's that…..

あ：That's right sweetie……….. In a way maybe Hanako is almost hoping this would be like -- and let that be a lesson to you all You freaks who ask me to just let loose

つ：think. about things. for once.

あ：think it through. I would run you all ragged

つ：all day Tsukasa will simply be like aahhmmm fantasies have opened up to me. i can think about any Amane and doing anything. limitless power

spacing out. unable to have conversations. makes nene feel kind of. scared. like… r-really… even tsukasa-kun can. wind up like. this. what did. they do

"ah, Tsukasa-kun… you seem out of it today. what are you thinking about?" soft pause. "Amane." "ah………………………I see….!"

あ：he has been further lobotomized there's not much left factually, all that is in tsukasa's brain after everything is indeed Amane.

I'm with him in the library under a table I'm with him at a restaurant we went to once . being pulled into the bathroom I can smell the food he ate

つ：takoyaki upon his breath……… candied apple,

あ：tsukasa mental state trapped , in like, i must be good…. ahhjnnmgmm

____________________

🔪FORK 2🔭

💮つ："Amane….." ah… playing with fire. "I wonder……… do you like some things…… being just between us?"

"I'd love to share everything with Nene-chan… she's a good girl. I think she deserves it….."

"….. but maybe it's a little hard to think about giving up?" "you were so resolute…. back then…"

あ：Thinking more.. I enjoyed where the more hesitant and meandering response went, it was fun… a pitiful Amane just feels in-line with how shutdown heems gets when faced with such a thing, I really think the sheer weight of emotions tied to Tsukasa/history leads to this completely arrested response

however…! i think it'd be fun to try and push it more, though, into something more forceful? decisive? but the result would be more chaotic as a result, haphazard, almost incoherent i think. like…boiling over…

つ：i'd be interested in a fork that is triggered in a different way yiss hmmm…

あ：A different heaviness… instead of feeling pinned in place by it oppressively, it's like [pops] … like something exploding in a hydraulic press

つ：ohhh EXCLUSIVE. IT HAS TO BE!!

あ：But I do think a part of Amane feels something along the lines of. UGHH PLEASE JUST LET ME BE INSANE AND SAY THE INSANE THINGS!! THE EVIL THINGS… I'M EVIL!!!!!!!!!!! like.. god… [rips out of him] YES

つ：THE ONE PLACE I CAN BE INSANE AND EVIL

あ：stoked by being reminded of how resolute he was-- like, yes, it's true. I was… it was…. my choice, and I loved making it, it was meant to stay between us. What I did… It was never intended to be about anything but, us. you and me.

Remembering what it felt like to be Amane then… the delirium, the confidence in his choice. I was never going to back out from it. It didn't matter if no one in the entire world understood-!

And, they never could… of course they couldn't… It's so difficult, it's like, Hanako in the present day remembers what it felt like to be Amane and think: I'll never regret it. Any of it… I'm staying here forever

つ：ah its so… mmmm❤️

あ：getting guttural… like… I can't give it up… I won't give it up I don't want to I was never GOING TO!

Hands were at Tsukasa's throat when being asked this… instead of going slack, just tighten… the protective, avoidant response is to hide, but if letting loose, the impulse is almost the opposite you know -- instead of running from being observed, desiring to look right into eyes… Like ohh look at me when I am talking to you like this

つ：you know what you're getting into asking something like that…

あ：It's almost like…… so , you want to hear it. You want me to just say it?

つ：ah would love Amane to be like. sigh. pulls out knife. Okay.

あ：If we are doing this

つ：if we're really going to talk about things she can't be around for.

あ：Mnnn yeah…. that which is forbidden…

Here we are again… though ah, isn't it crazy, by now Amane has become so familiar with this knife, it is his go-to weapon, he's like, proficient and confident wielding it now. it feels so ostentatious, where you are at with it, compared to sweaty shaking 13 year old self of the past adrenaline coursing to have picked up that knife the first time, now it's just a part of you

つ：it really is something he's flippant with. more easygoing with it in his hand than ever. kindof like… rolls eyes…. aouhhh am i gonna do it…. yeah, I am

あ：out here fiddling with it…

つ：an interesting gesture… would be to do a rough, quick cut, but only to cut tsukasa's shirt. just a slit over the heart-area…. not deep. he's good at precision with it, now

he really brandishes it so confidently while just swinging at kou. he knows when he will or won't make a cut with it.

あ：playful even lol like have at thee. knows what he is doing indeed. doesn't even have to think about it

Mm…. to immediately palm at the cut, fingers pressed to… in the past, there couldn't be such indulgence. Something like this… you couldn't stop to admire the handiwork

つ：a mood for. mmm fine. let's make it all exclusive stuff. the theme of this, then. I won't do the thhings we all …….share

for Tsukasa… I think he's just quiet. Happy to have set something off…. watching this response…. and drinking in the meaning of it. The air is different….. this atmosphere doesn't exist anywhere else.

its surprising, that Amane ISN'T shutting down… you could think of it as a dozen more plausible timelines he shuts down, and this one where some other muscle twitches and switches the track to this sort of thing. a risk…. a risky thing was said! but ahhh, it was…. a good decision

あ：mnn yeah I think about it like, high percentage of shut down and bowing out. but the right sequence was hit this time somehow, in some way, loosens something. And, it's just so relieving, almost, to lean into this, for once, the gravel and snow for decades has leant to this result. like ohh but i want it. i do. thats the problem . the problem always is that i want it.

becoming more sure with every gesture. This… is the specialness, the exclusivity. Declaring it out loud, speaking slowly, at length. "It has to be you."

"That's how this works, with us."

Ah, for once, Amane like very willingly putting himself back in the position, of being saddled atop Tsukasa. hand down, palm flat against sternum, heavily

But I like the thought of, like, there's more flourishes to it, things are a bit altered by everything… Capable of languid touches, capable of reaching back and walking hands along, clutch hip, paw at thigh.. interesting new flavors

つ：ah… breath quickened. very enchanted… capable of appreciating, how being with Nene has unspooled Amane a bit further. So tense and so barely on the edge of his indulgence, before….. this familiarity with his own body, ah, Amane never had it….. his weight is so decisive. It's a serene moment to feel grateful that…. he's still here, even if there's alterations… those alterations just apply to that which was true, before… ahhh…❤️ strokes wrist holding the knife….. tentatively reaches up and paws at the slit in his shirt….tilting head affectionately.

あ：Feels gooood to be Tsukasa… And rightfully so.

but, it feels good to be Amane, I think. Just in a terrifying way. I think it's so intense it's like, genuinely hard to keep things straight, reality. Maybe spending so much time focusing on being 'Hanako' has made him a bit vulnerable as 'Amane'. Want the brain to feel so sick and hot you almost feel like your body is alive, internal heat rippling. Soo scary. Even while this far into things, I do think there's a reflexive fear, have hackles instinctively raising to be here. It's like, ahhh danger… We've spent so long avoiding this man… Starting to get twitchy. But, continuing.

[dragging tip of knife down Tsukasa's chest, skirting against stomach slowly] [switch to gripping tightly, making quick slash that traces rib] A longer cut, tearing through kimono and button up. Something to really dart hands through the tears and finger the cut, pressing between the seams of flesh. I wonder if seeing the white fabric of button up mottle and soak red would also be like ssssahhh like the summer uniform… so simply evoked

Fingers getting bloody.. having the impulse to smear it across his own face grasping own neck

つ：the fabric sticking to his body once it's seeping…. !! Nostalgic!! Ah, it's even warm-- tilting head back to gaze out the windows…. it's a warm night, isn't it? everyone's been in their summer uniforms… Amane would be, too.

Ah, Amane is doing so many new things….. I should, too! Reaches forward, to grab the knife….. hand over Amane's on the handle. Brings it to his mouth, to lick it… along the flat of the metal, and over the top ridge. There's not a real heat or flavor… but from nothing but nostalgia, he tastes it at the back of his throat… the memory of how the blood began filling his chest cavity entirely… how it crawled up his neck and poured into his mouth. ahhhh… he can't feel that again. no lungs to puncture and fill with blood… no heart to flood the cavities… but…❤️

thinking though of licking the knife ah, spurring Amane to…. on a pure impulse, just cut through his cheek-- and maybe regret it, actually. stomach turning…. actually extend tsukasa's mouth, tear the side open. then feel, sick. it being a quick, rapid, impulsive move is the triggering part. and tsukasa's response IS to quickly curl inward and grab his face. A-AHHH

the knife is itself a sort of supernatural tool…. like Teru's blade and such, it can interface with things authentically, I think.

some whining and whimpering from Tsukasa, feeling blood collect in his palms, slip through his fingers…. the pain is real. hurts to smile

あ：I like something so dramatic, it's just like-- we're inviting harm, here. 

I think in a normal circumstance Amane would feel something along the lines of UGH I TOLD YOU-- THIS IS WHY-- etc. but there's a different protocol running, we're not being fussy rn-- that wasn't the tenor of the murder. It was intimate. Just rushing forward, overlaying hands on Tsukasa's and cupping his face. Shushing, shhh shhh.... Stroke, pet, rub face against. Repeating, gently, "Tsukasa, Tsukasa, Tsukasa..." shh shhhh... 

"You're good, you're doing good." inhales deeply. Can feel iron tinging his nostrils, like blood is everywhere, in the air. Licks roof of own mouth, swallows. Tinny taste to the air. "You're doing what I need-- you love that, you love to be what I need." 

Hurriedly moving, on impulse, not quite thinking anything through, just seeming rather. Frazzled, crazy. Peeling off gakuran jacket, left in just his white button up, taking off his hat. Taking off Tsukasa's hat. Running fingers through hair. 

"Look at me. Just keep looking, okay?"

つ：hypnotism.... eyes glaze and unglaze, glassy, pupils trying to retain capacity, feeling like Amane is speaking underwater and he wants to come up for air.... ahhhss. so nic.e... Amane is nice... Amane is nice to you. He talks to gentle.... he is so sweet. His petting hands, his kind voice, always leading this foolish idiot around.... need to be lead around. Don't know what to do with himself otherwise. Lead carefully by the song of Amane's voice..... Finally, finds his pupils in the haze. Those eyes... more elegant, than his own. Looking in the mirror never produced Amane... wrong, the eyes all wrong.... that somewhat-darker gaze of his, shadows of his lids, that, softer look.... 

"Ohkg, ghay,Ohkay. Amahhnne. Ahmma  ne....!" claps a wrist loosely-- he's feeling weak-- placebo effect, immersion, or can the knife do that?-- On exhales, feeling air slightly ruffle the opened skin of his cheek, like a curtain on a vague breeze... still streams blood. "I-Li'kghh lookg, loogking, lookkging at you..... I liegke you." combating blood around tongue and the cut preventing a good seal on pronunciation.

あ：Winces, but expression softens, like, ah... The affection Tsukasa could feel, even in a situation like this. It almost felt... no, it was exploitative, to tell him what to do, knowing he would listen; he was malleable and easily worked into a direction. You could just tell him, 'you love this' and because it was coming from Amane, it would be the truth. Tell him, 'you're okay' and he is. A pitiful creature, in that way, always was and has been.

"That's right," Amane breathes out, almost a hum, voice vibrating a bit. Affirming.... "You like me." Pets hair more, brushes hair out of Tsukasa's eyes, rubbing the skin around them, tracing the bone of the eye socket. "Just focus on that. Focus on me." 

Takes a deep breath and tries to collect himself... Rubs the accumulating sweat on his cheeks, brow. The air feels so humid, sticky and wet along the skin. So different from blood, the way it clings, seals over skin, the thicker consistency slowly dripping down. He could feel it drying against his own lip. Staining his hands.... The deep, vivid red, eating away all the white of their clothes. He reaches down and shoves the heel of his palm against the cut across Tsukasa's chest, over his heart. He pulls it away and holds his palm out for Tsukasa to see, an inch away from his face.

"It's pretty," he breathes, a long unspoken thought. It always felt too sick, or too pointless to say, an emotion someone could never feel, or maybe so mundane he might as well be commenting on the color of the sky. But Tsukasa took well to Amane explaining the most basic facts, if he put a certain tone to his words, instructional in nature. "Isn't it pretty? ... and special, to see so much. Like this." Opening, closing palm.

"... nice to see again. It was... so much, last time. All... everywhere, seeping into the-- the flohr." Slurring, swallowing, palms slapping clumsily around the floor around Tsukasa -- dragging against the floorboards, outlining his body.

"Haha." the grain, the tooth of the wooden floorboards... "Hahah..."

natsukashii.... under breaf

つ：watching avidly, as close as he possibly can. Pretty....? What a word....! A word you may use for... a nice kimono's print, or, a girl.... for blood. What a kindness.... this messiness, ah, messiness is pretty, isn't it? Amane looked best smeared and soaked like this, licking his lips. So nice. It's true that whatever Amane says, like this, he'll agree to. There's no consideration of otherwise. If he hadn't thought of something before himself, he was just too stupid to.

Ah.... the floor.... it was so much last time, it felt like laying in a stream which pours thinly between the rocks.... 

A concurring natsukashii.... echoed in a pleasant tone, only frayed a bit by the compromised mouth. 

"Prid-tee..." a large, labored exhale. "AAhhmmaneeee... Iyy, likge whadt's juhs for mmmme...." pawing at his white shirt, watching his fingers leave marks and prints all over it. streaming a finger down, making a line, mindlessly scrawling like a child fingerpainting. His mouth is held agape... it has to be.... a small laugh.... a small whine? He moves to stroke his own cheek--the seal marking it-- with one hand-- and the other clutches his chest, as he faintly moves to-and-fro like a fish swimming in water. Seems..... intoxicated. Curls his palm up against his cheek, then pushes it up to his head, looking... overwhelmed. Painfully, his mouth tightens, and hisses as a result. Palm in his shirt seizes the fabric and shakes it about in his grip. Some strained weird sounds... nnngh, hhnn, mnnnnhnn, nnnnn, and his shoes shuffling around on the floor. So much... too much. Overstimulated. Boiling over.

あ："That's right." It hurts like a confession, despite the sureness of his own reply. Rattling around in the chest, knocking against everything, bruising every organ. "I do." 

The kicking, squirming, is drank in attentively, eyes lidded while combing over the body. Appreciation for the form, the expression of struggle. The sight, the sound, it was pretty. Amane bastes in his own proposal. The sense of purpose granted by this all...  It was happening, that sort of-- bizarre, inappropriate, yet divine sense that he was doing something kind, charitable, necessary. Imbuing Tsukasa with purpose. Even the whines were testament; Tsukasa's voice was suited to pleading, more eager to hit high, keening notes, he didn't struggle or hold back. Unlike himself, which often felt his throat stubbornly sealing, shutting, refusing noise, only letting it pass in the form of a groan, something unpleasant and low.

"What's just for you..." he repeats under his breath... before dropping closer, grasping Tsukasa's face decisively and granting access to the cut on his cheek. Forcing himself to interface with it instead of running away, and submitting to an urge, Amane laps his tongue against it. It isn't graceful, it can't be by the very nature of it, yet it feels as though it goes by in a lovely, smooth way. His fingers keep Tsukasa's mouth pried open by hooking against his teeth. His tongue skims his canines as he does. Pulling away, Amane speaks right against Tsukasa's mouth, hardly moving from being flush against. "I do, like it, I." breath heaves. "I- lllllovvvve it." ... a word that only seems to strum out of him in moments like this, this warped. But it felt the most sincere like this too.

つ：kicking is the first response, pattering along the floor, rapid-fire as he was furiously burying any sort of fleeing response to the invasive attention to his mouth, channeling all energy there. And then more haphazardly, dancing one-foot-after-the-other like piano-keys compressing playfully, a squeezed note escapes his throat. Feels like a canister of air pops in Tsukasa's brain. Childishly, like a kid begging to be pushed on a swing more, Tsukasa chants through all obstruction. "ahg-gah-- Ahg-gem! AM--mmohrre! aAmmah-eh! AGAIh--AGAIIHH-UNN" kick-kick, wiggle, sway, like an eel under a palm. Giggling.

あ：A very palpable shudder goes throughout Amane, buzzing. Feels tazed, prodded  to respond-- holds Tsukasa firmer, by the jaw, before dipping down again. Tongues more decisively, presses pointedly at the edge of the cut, bows the skin there. Presses against it from the outside, against cheek skin, then dips inward, the wet tissue of inner mouth. The difference in the textures noted... His hips shimmy -- he's excited, too, he's. Horny. It stings, between his legs, he's wary of resting his pelvis on Tsukasa unconsciously. But is too enraptured in prying the wound with his own fingers, digging the pad of his finger against it, fluidly transitioning into rubbing gums and tracing teeth. Invasive!! Strange, strange touches.

It's not directed or sensual. Feels more like an examination

Obsessing over textures...

つ：feeling examined is goooooooooooooooood ❤️ he really wants to loook touch aahhhhhh ❤️ kick, kick wiggle kick..... feels so good to bbbeee, under the microscope, Amane's attentive gaze... he can look into the sky and point out the tiniest specks by name. Like this.... pressed under him, touches all so particular... Tsukasa could believe that Amane didn't need the moon and stars. Really. That it wasn't just something he said. There wasn't a sensation of envy for Nene-- but-- for the telescope... there, was, something. This object Amane could fiddle with in his fingers, look into for hours.... tweak, tilt, clean, keep pristine, hold always carefully. Ah... there was maybe some reason to feel it, then. There wasn't any competing with the promise of the entire sky... endless... sprawling.... something that impressive, thats what it took to captivate Amane... stars..... galaxies... where, ah... he thought he wanted to escape to. 

Whining, whimpering. Tsukasa perhaps... has just a few things, difficult to think about. Memories of a sense... of being a burden, dragging Amane down to the Earth, where he'd look away from everything. That blink of time. But luckily... he's only remembering now, as it's disproven, just as it was, then. Amane's watchful gaze... fingers and tongue, navigating him every bit as carefully as the knobs on his telescope.

he never looked this excited.... not in the same way, over any light in the sky. Gave him butterflies..... it was so kind of Amane, to look down at him, when he could always look up. He was meant to look up. 

Mmm... he tears up. "Ah-mahnne, Amanne, Ah, Aha, Ahmane...." muttering around his ministrations. So nice. So nice to be studied. Soooo nice.

あ："Tsuukasa..." gentle, easy reply, it's getting easier to inhabit the moment and let things out freely. The urge to be playful even rises up, "Tsu, tsuuuu... ka-sa." Nearly singsongy for a moment. Ah, feels, embarrassed, but not the right degree maybe, it makes him fluster and laugh, like he's just being childish-- not like he's, bent over the bleeding body of his younger brother. "Have you ever thought about..." rambling tone, reaching around mindlessly for his knife, which he had set down a moment ago-- at first tapping the ground, wrapping fingers around the handle. "... how your name, sounds like the word for 'the moon'... The tsuu sound, it's fun to say. Tsss...uu. But, the ka-sa is softer than ki... It trails off." Speaking lovingly, while tilting Tsukasa's head back, and using his middle and index finger to push open his mouth, widely. Dipping in and holding Tsukasa's tongue, firmly, pulling it out. "It suits you. The softer sounds." 

Clutching his knife, he carefully touches the tip of the blade onto the center of Tsukasa's tongue. The dull curve of it bumps against his front teeth, pushed by the full shape of the knife. Amane lingers and observes the pooling drool sliding down his fingers, spilling past Tsukasa's lips. It's a decisive, controlled cut, down the center to the tip of his tongue. He immediately releases his knife in a clatter, hands flying to clutch either side of Tsukasa's face, shoving his tongue fully into his mouth. Sucks, pulls the blood into his mouth and swallows. 

Antsy hips sink, resting finally against Tsukasa's body. His legs straddle him firmly.

つ：impossible-- IMPOSSIBLE how Amane was!!! Ah!! He could do everything!! The, enrapturing-- comparison-- his name to the MOON!-- so enrapturing, he can't deduce whatever Amane is doing, whatever he's leading up to. Swirling in his head are leetle stars. Aaahhh, so kind....! He's moved this way and that. Tongue drying against his fingers. So nice... so nice. Kind, Amane.. thinking kindly. So smart, thinking so smartly, thinking of so many things.... ! Thinking of things, and me..... 

The cut is sudden, and he's not prepared for it... his body seizes, fingers gnarl, knees raise, stomach tenses, but he's held in place by the head like a horse in a halter. Everything moves and for a second, the flee response has no time to be clamped-- clumsily, dumbly, his palms smack against the floor, splashing flecks of red. First inward, than outward, his spine curves, and Amane follows him every direction, dipping lower and pulling higher, latched. His tongue slides into the cut like soft sashimi, the muscle is weak and limp against all of his activity.

He could do things... just like this. Just like this... combine, things. Conceptualize combining things. This message! A special message! The nicest words, the most interested motions--!! All to say something, and, Tsukasa would listen!! He would listen to every note of it! Like this-- talking like this-- he missed it... so much. Amane could talk like nobody else....  just like this.

あ：A moment to just appreciate the scene... it's like everything really is blending together, past and present... but in a fluid way, like, as if their past selves are inventing kissing, in a strange way. blood pooling in their mouths... tonguing the wound obsessively.. swallowing between each other... Amane hiccups, huffs laughter dryly. It ffffffffffffeeeelslslsss goood....Manic emotions. grabbing Tsukasa by the shoulders and swaying side to side, jostling him along with him, hmm, haaa, rolls them onto their sides. Bites tongue..

it's just like aghh.. i feel good... I FEELLL good ifeel good.. [stupidly] i like feeling good hahahhaaaaa what the fuck... I feel like i could almost forget why it's terrible

Oh to pretend...

What if I just got really good at lying to myself...

つ：tsukasa has this power. just live in the moment for a biit… forgetting everything else. i like the manic atmosphere… with a Tsukasa more like, ah, reactive to the pain-- more flinching and twitching and grasping at shirt, while Amane is very loose and limber and flopped… Tsukasa relaxes intermittently, but Amane throws curve balls whenever he pleases

a real like ahhhh❤️❤️ starts to slack IS BITTEN FKDLSJFKL aAAA ssslacks again mmmm ❤️ kismsmmm..

あ：playing. playful. it's like at their peak mutual craziness it can be like hehehhug..h ahhg…. They are both playful boys

つ：kicky our legs around togever

あ：To be filled with so much whimsy… it's kind of like being reunited for real

Chasing urges as they come-- just getting more excited as they manifest like. ahhh amane flipping, straddling Tsukasa's stomach and facing his legs, hiking past hakama and getting to thighs and making cuts along those, and then mouthing, biting those. it's like mghj… while i'm here… keep having thoughts, new thoughts! excitingly new… i've never had these before

つ：HIYAAAAAAAA!!!! hachi-machi

あ：It's even fun if Tsukasa bucks and twists, it's like… wrestling down an alligator or soemthing lol like REALLY grinds weight down and holds in place [psycho murderer thoughts] thats right… struggle

つ：the legs are a tricky one… they do wanna be kicky expressively. its like eeheheehee

あ：gets knee smashed in face lol

つ：WAUGH. also for a moment: aouh blood on my hakama….. like woh! dirty too… wow its all dirty

あ：getting so dirty

つ：mm a nice scene, blood on his knee and smeared over Tsukasa….. take a moment to stand up and look at it and it is. a horrifying spectacle

really looks like a crime. Don't think they could call this a shinjuu, investigating the scene. if it were one. they'd just call it some sort of homicide.

あ：something funny about amane getting like a nosebleed or something for a second from tsukasa compulsively excitedly kicking like lol those sort of scuffs one gets from a struggling body. lool……….. oh me too laughs crawls to tsukasa's face

つ：being like O.O briefly when contacting hard enough to give him a nosebleed. back of hands to mouth awooop…..

あ：amane in that kind of reprehensible whore body language way he gets. [points to self, eyes squinting] lick [barks] do that freak shit you do [says this guy.]

つ：ahhgmmm awwwooooofof!!!! crawls up. skitters palms around on wet floor trying to upright. hands and knees licking nose blood

a nice reduced tsukasa just eating it on the floor for a second. make amane go 'awe' he is like that.

あ：tilts head while smiling with eyes leering mmmmmmh. my stupid… hey dummy youre just a dummy demon arent you

つ：its cute to think of Amane like… just ambiently hard the whole time, but not in a way even tsukasa particularly notices or keeps in mind, or he acts on…. this is our weird time. I wish we had any intel on how like. healing works for the spooks…. we just. don't know. amane gets so fucked up by teru on the train but is-- fine? when dealing with nene? right after?

あ：in my mind it is true to reality (amane was ambiently hard during the murder) just something happening

i wonder if its a matter of damage being sustained like continuous damage… tsukasa's cheek cut stops bleeding fairly quick in hell of mirors and seems minimal

つ：i like to think tomorrow amane will be like extra patient and chill and serene with nene to a scary degree. exfoliated

あ：lmaoo… seems like zen

つ：-is a better boyfriend than usual-

あ：He's just playful and open seeming

つ：the be a better boy initiative VS be a badder brother initiative

あ：the toukan koukan. of it all If I just unleash my demons i can be goodddd….

I keep thinking, like. its somehow so pleasant to think about hanako being verrry ambiently hard and a litlte bit like drip. drip… but like neither of them is very conscious of it this rly isl ike. my ideal pervert HC of what occurred during shinjuu. that tsukasa and hanako are just like idk we feel good rn so funny to think about hanako having normal sex later

つ：feeling soooo good no need to draw attention to it.

あ：alive sex with my alive gf

つ：just normal sex.

nene is like hanako-kun is in such a good mood today….. tsukasa is like. quiet ? just seems not so rowdy but not sad just like. looking around pleasantly. in hims own head does not interrupt your sex he's just like much to think about.

あ：fingers steepled it's like tsukasa cannot think much about normal sex like this [licking inside of cheek wall] It's just nice to smell cock and pussy in the air [sits amidst it]

つ：that is his whole day. rubs. shirt. rubs hakama.

あ：he's trying very hard to memorize things amane said. doooon't forget.

つ：at any moment just sortof mouthing tsssuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu….. ki. Tsuuuu-ki. Tsuuuuuu… kasa. Tsuuuuuuu… ki… Tsuuu…

nene is like ah…. tsukasa-kun is very preoccupied. but he looks ? tranquil… so

あ：it's just interesting to see… make sure to like, sit with him, and chat a littel later. but i do think it's like there is a haze about him. he doesn't have much language. in his head [the kanji for moon and his name floating around]

つ：oh its like. [nene asks him what he's thinking about today] [long, long pause, so long she doesnt know ifshe should repeat herself] tsu-ki. and tsu-kasa. sound a bit similar if you think about it

………………………….. uh huh

あ：…. I suppose so!

つ：blinking like alien amane told me that.

! oh? I see….!

あ：A-aw….. that's… so sweet….!

つ：un.

あ：[knows vaguely amane is. kinda weird? about the moon??? its liek her brain flashes her his PP moon pin and then the lunar rock yorishiro memory] [doesnt. know what to think about this besides: he … lieks it]

he likes the moon i know this well………………… it seems the boys had some sort of… pleasant conversation

and like. well.

つ：hanako threw him a bone it seems…. thats nice…. is that why… HE feels good………? detective in a lazy way i guess they chatted…. good

あ：feeling ah, like he did a good deed or something… well thats ok, as long as they both feel good [somehow nene having some sort of. woke thought]

[george-fabian-weasley]

if we had 5 more minutes — f. w.

Summary: You thought you could save Fred from the rumbles of falling stones; you did your best, only to be in the rumbles with him instead.

Words: 2,160 words

Warnings ⚠ : ANGST, TW: Death, TW: Battle of Hogwarts, TW: war, TW: injuries, Fred died, you died, big Pain™, I strongly suggest tissues and a dozen of comfort chocolates, I cried so you will too, Basically An Emotional Rollercoaster, Read At Your Own Risk

Disclaimer: inspired by Billie Eilish's cover of The End of The World, so... ya'll know this is going to be a painful ride. Buckle up your seatbelts and enjoy. Reblogs and Comments are Highly Appreciated! <3 p/s: reading this with the song at the background really helps with the tear pouring effect ;)

Disclaimer 2.0: i know what yall are thinking... what tf is syaf doing, posting a fic when she’s in a hiatus she just posted yesterday? Also where is mad hatter chap 5 and epilogue? well, my brain likes to conjure up ideas at very inappropriate times (like rn) so bare with me and uh i’ve been really physically and mentally exhausted from work (retail is bathshit crazy) to write the mad hatter series so idk when will i update the two chapters but i’m working on it! thank you for being patient, and im sorry for causing you guys to wait for so long, ilysm don’t kill me <3 

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The end of the world.

The Battle of Hogwarts looked like the end of the world. Curses and spells thrown left to right, different kinds of bodies found at each corner and crook, walls here and there crumbling as down as hope for freedom. And blood.

At that point of time, the pools of blood on the floor look the same; pureblood or not. Because they bleed the same anguish red.

You didn't need to see the apocalypse of the world anymore. Screw the end of Mother Earth; this battle in front of your eyes was more than enough — sadly — to be your end of the world.

“Hey,” You called, causing Fred to turn his head around to your direction, his lips etched up a smile before replying with another hey. You sat next to him, the place where George had sat before he got up and left to speak with Professor Lupin.

Evil is winning, and good is losing. But then again, what difference would it make; if good kills as many as evil? At the end of the world, there is no good and evil alone. There are desperation, madness, and hunger for power, lust for victory brought along with them.

So, at the end of the world, you chose to be side by side with your lover, Fred Weasley. The red-headed dork you’ve taught yourself to pour your love into had become the very source of your life. He is your elixir, he is your soul, heart, and happiness.

It was silent for a while, none of you had anything to say. Yet the silence was comforting, with only the presence of each other as calming as it is. “Y/N,” Fred suddenly turned his head to you, biting his lower lip in contemplation. “Hm?” “Can you just stay at the Burrow?” 

You blinked, “What?” Fred sighed, “Can you just stay at the Burrow right now and not join the war? I- I don’t want you to join in-” “Fred-” “I-It’s dangerous and it’s literally a war a-and I don’t want you to get hurt I would- I would rather die than have you hurt-” 

“Fred!” You raised your voice, your hand clasping onto his securely, an effort to calm his frenzied thoughts. He stopped rambling and stared at you with those doe eyes you adored so much, “You know I can’t do that.”

“We need everyone on board for this war. I am no exception- bloody hell, even your parents are joining in, Freddie!” You tried to explain slowly, and Fred closed his eyes in denial of defeat. 

“I love you,” he suddenly blurted out. He noticed the slight fluster you had, your eyebrows were raised for a millisecond before they furrowed upon a realization, “Wait, why are you saying this now? I-“ “I love you, Y/N,” he repeated himself and you shook your head, realizing what he was doing, “Wait, hold on a minute, no-“

He was saying it in case anything happens.

“Y/N, I love you-” “Don’t you dare say it one more time like you’re not gonna make it, Fred Weasley, I swear to Merlin,” You cut him off, your jaw clenching at his absurdness. “… Aren’t you gonna say it back?” Fred asked, his voice was small.

“I-” You sighed, “No, I won’t because I don’t want to say it right now, given the circumstances,” You paused, your voice quieting down, “It felt like a goodbye when you say it like that.” “Then when will you say it? We’ve been dating for almost a year and you'd never say it before,” He said.

“Really? This is the time to argue about this?” You gave him a pointed look, but your expression softened as you understood the meaning behind his actions. “Look, Freddie, I- You know how I feel about us,” You sighed, looking down at your hands on your lap, “You know I’m not that expressive with my words but- but I’m trying and- okay, let’s make a deal,” Fred’s ears perked up the mention of a deal. "I'm listening," he drawled.

“I’ll say the words when the war is over,” Fred gave you a sour look that clearly said ‘really?’ and it caused you to huff a smile, “Once everything is over, and everything is okay again, I’ll say them as many times as you want me to, okay?” Fred leaned into your touch as you cupped his cheek with your hand, kissing his forehead.

“Even if I made you say it a thousand times?” He asked and you chuckled, your heart warming at his childlike question, “I’ll say it for an hour if you asked me to.”

It happened so fast.

One second you were fighting off the Death Eaters with Percy and Fred, and then the other, you find your body aching at the major pressure from the rocks and debris that used to be Hogwarts’ protective wall from the outside world.

It was dark, and it was dusty, but you were too unconscious to notice. That was until you felt your cheek being patted a few times. As you gained consciousness with a cough or two, you also gained the pending pain spreading all across your whole body. You couldn’t feel your legs, or safe to say your whole lower body part. 

Memories of you a few moments ago trying to push Fred away from the rumbles but ended up facing the falling stones head-on with him instead began to flow back into your mind. How foolish could you be to act like a hero, as if you could sacrifice yourself for him to live.

“… Y-Y/N…”

You turned your head with a silent grunt, and your eyes fixate at the body beside you, a few feet away, Fred. 

He had blood leaking from his nose and ears, probably from the impact, and his face was dusty with debris from the stones. As he looked at you, he threw you a smile; a weak, hiding the fact that he’s in immense pain kind of smile.

“F-fancy seeing you here,” he grunted with a wince, a smile nevertheless rested on his lips. “Fred…” you could only mutter his name, closing your eyes for a brief second at the growing pain on your thighs. The pressure from the rumbles had slowly increased, and you felt yourself losing consciousness again. Only to be brought back to open your eyes as Fred poked your cheeks a few more times, “Hey, hey, s-stay with me, love.”

“We’ll… We’ll be okay.”

You winced at the trickling sensation on your skin as you tried to move your fingers towards him, “It’s… It’s impossible, Fred…” You voiced out, your voice cracking up. You saw Fred’s lips quivered before he threw you another comforting smile, “Don’t… Don’t say that. We’ll make it… I-I know we will.”

“We… We will?”

Groaning from the injuries on his body as he tried to move closer to you, he nodded, “We will.”

You felt his fingers trying to reach for yours, and you handed him assistance as you hooked your fingers with his. His hand was cold, trembling. But it was Fred’s. And Fred’s hand is always warm.

“It’s… It’s so heavy,” You whimpered in pain, looking at Fred for comfort. All Fred wished to do at the moment was to be strong enough. Strong enough to push off these rumbles pressing onto his body. Strong enough to pull you out from the pain. All he wished for was for you to not be in pain anymore. But he knew he couldn’t do anything. The rumbles were too big, too heavy, and it would take a while for anyone to find them at the bottom of everything. 

Fred breathed out heavily through his mouth, slowly finding it difficult to breathe through his nose anymore, trying his best to look strong for you, “Stay with me, love. S-stay with me. Five more minutes. F-five more minutes and they’ll- they’ll save us…”

“Fred…”

“Five more minutes, I promise…”

You saw the desperation in his eyes, trying his best to somehow keep you afloat until you two are saved. You heard muffles from the other side, Percy screaming for Fred and you. His screams were sad and painful to hear; you would’ve cried for him if it wasn’t for the constant high-pitched ringing in your ears.

“Fred, h-hold my hand. P-please,” You whispered, finding no more strength to say anything louder than a whisper. He instantly intertwined your fingers with his, stretching as far as he could to reach you; no matter how screeching the pain in his lower body was.

“Fred,” You called him again. He chuckled a bit, “You’re… you’re saying my name a lot of times right now, darling.” You huffed a smile, the corner of your lips twitched, “… I want to ask you something.”

“… Anything.”

Your eyes met his, even in the darkness, his eyes still managed to look so beautiful. So earthly beautiful. “… Are you happy, Freddie?”

There was something about the way you say it, Fred couldn’t get a touch of what it was but… it felt like a goodbye. As much as Fred hated to admit, he wasn’t holding on much longer either. He was bleeding heavily from everywhere, his wand was out of his reach, and his body was starting to numb. His vision began to blur by itself, hence he blinked his eyes repeatedly. Trying his best to see your features clearly, one last time, if the worst happens.

This is it, he thought. This is the end of my line. 

Finding an urge to cry, but didn’t have enough strength to sob, Fred let out a tear or two onto the dusty surface he laid his head on, his eyes closing after the content stare of your beautiful— though bloody and dusty— face. How ironic, he’s slipping away first even though he was the one who said five more minutes.

If only you had five more minutes.

“W-with… With you? Heh, always… “ The whisper coming out from his mouth caused you to narrow your eyes at him. It felt strange, it felt wrong. Was he saying goodbye? Watching Fred close his eyes was alarming, so you gained all your strength to pat his hand a few times, “H-hey, Freddie… Five more minutes. Hang… Hang on for five more minutes, please.”

You squeezed his hand, and he naturally squeezed back, only this time it was weaker than usual. His grip on your hand started to soften, but you tightened yours desperately. The pain all over your body was partially forgotten, your only focus was on keeping Fred breathing and alive, as well as yourself. 

“I’m… I’m trying, my love… but I’m sleepy… and tired…” he mumbled, his words became slurred by time. He was on the edge, you realized that. Upon the sad realization, you bit your tongue, trying your best to prepare for the worst. “L-look at me, darling,” Your voice quivered, feeling the sandy surface on your temple as you tried to force your eyes open, to properly look at him, “Look at me.”

You knew it. He was slipping away from your fingers, and you were slipping too. It didn’t matter anymore even if Percy bulldozed his way to you now, it was too late. Simply too late. And that’s none of his faults. It’s none of his and none of yours.

Some things are just meant to be.

You took your other hand and placed it onto his cold, dirty cheek. Caressing his cheekbone gently, you gave him a comforting smile, “Fred.”

He looked at you, a faint smile on his lips. He’s at the end, you acknowledged. You widen your smile to assure him, although the tears escaping your eyes say otherwise, “… You make me happy. You make me so so happy. And I… I love you.”

“I love you, Freddie.”

With a big smile, Fred widened his eyes weakly, letting out a sigh of content as he looked at you with gentle eyes,“… Now that wasn’t so hard, now was it?“

Gentle eyes that soon hollowed empty.

“Yeah,” the dam of your tears broke down, “Took me a long time...” You squeezed his now lifeless hand, trying to find comfort and warmth from him for the last time. You smiled at Fred, whilst tears rolling down your temple slowly as if mourning the passing of your lover for you. You inched closer to him, careful not to graze your injuries, and met your nose with his.

You caressed his cheek, finally feeling yourself lose consciousness. This is it, you thought, I won’t wake up ever again. “You said we’ll be okay,” You whispered weakly, huffing a content smile on your lips. Staring into his eyes that had held so much love and pure unadulterated affection for you all these years, now empty with no trace of life, had sent you into pain more powerful than the injuries present on and in your body.

“I guess we will be, after this.”

“… You spent your last five minutes with me, huh?” You felt yourself going in and out of consciousness, and your vision blurring continuously, “Aren’t you a sappy git,” the mere whisper escaped your mouth with a sigh. The warm smile never left your lips, and the only thing in your mind was how peaceful he looked as of that moment, and you wondered if you’ll ever be in that state of peace, with him.  

“No- no- no!” someone was shouting. “No! Fred! no!” And Percy was shaking his brother, and Ron was kneeling beside them with his hand on Y/N’s head, and the pair of lovers stared at each other without seeing, the ghost of their last smile still etched upon their faces.

On our last few drags of air, we agree

I was, and you were

Happy

TAGLIST:

@multifandom-but​ @sirenswhispers​ @lilac-skies-xd​ @obsessedunicorn24​ @foggyturtleknightangel​​ @evewithluv​ @softlyqoos​ @fandoms-pizza-wifi-ym13​ @lilypad-55449​ @fiantomartell​ @hopemalfoyweasley​ @just-here-to-escape-from-reality​ @bucketandpotato​ @klausdatprettyboi​ @adoregin​ @littlechillies​ @phuvioqhile​ @sweetnspicysimp​ @wand3ringr0s3​ @harrypotter289​ @emptyporsche​ @tallyovie​  @potters-heart​ @amourtentiaa​ @lunalovecroft​ @loveboyhalo @lupinsclassroom​ @breadqueen95 @iwritesiriusly @rcwenaclaw​ @sevsbitxh​ @freds-slut​ @acosmis-t​ @colorfulprofessornickelangel​ @vote4weasleys​ @anchoeritic​​ @alluringshawn​ @cute-sidney​ @anna-banana-13​ @lostaurorax​ @emrysts​ @rosietoesy @lilgeorgie78 @prismarts @an2402lths

[mego42]

Are you working on any brio fic that we might get soon? :)

hey anon! unfortunately, i have some p crazy life stuff going on rn and haven't been able to write for a couple off weeks now for a bunch of reasons so i am currently effectively dormant, though hopefully not for long.

but here! have a (rough) (totally unedited) (nsfw) snippet from the thing i was working on before i took a break that may or may not make it into the final fic if i give in to my urge to do a total mulligan (i won't) (probably) (i don't think) (that would be insane) (laughs nervously)

“You still locked in for that seat on the Port Authority board?” Rio asks, his own voice light, almost giddy, making Beth’s pulse trip in response.

“Announcing it on Monday,” Beth breathes, and it hitches a little on the end when his hand slips between her thighs, gently nudging them further apart.

“Then we’re set up,” he says, his fingers ghosting over her swollen clit.

Beth sighs, her eyelashes fluttering. Her hips rock, chasing his touch. “So, what’s my cut?”

Humming, Rio answers her by pressing down, his fingertip circling, and Beth swears she hears static crackling in her ears as she jerks against him. “Li’l late to be negotiation’, ain’t it?”

“Please,” she gasps. “It all falls apart without that piece of paper. I can’t think of a better time. ”

He laughs softly and Beth can hear the warmth in it, the pride and approval making her glow, the firm, steady stroke against her clit setting her on fire.

“Thinkin’ fifteen percent, yeah?”

Beth’s eyes fly open and he’s grinning, his teeth bright white, pressing into the lush pink of his lower lip, and it’s only the repressed laughter sparkling in his eyes that keeps her temper at bay.

“You’re funny,” she says, the effect of her deadpan tone almost ruined by the whimper she just manages to swallow back when his hand slides lower, parting her lips.

“What? You want thirty?” The very tip of one finger teases her entrance, the heel of his hand solid against her clit, giving her something to grind against, and when she does, shuddering at the sharp, zipping bite of the friction across her over-sensitive skin, he smiles wider.

“Try again,” Beth says, her hands flexing against the sides of the tub, fighting the urge to grab his wrist and hold him against her, to beg him to stop playing with her, running his fingertips along her, around her, carefully staying just shy of what she needs.

“Forty’s pretty steep, ma.” He dips the very tip of his finger inside her, then out, drawing a straight line up to her clit and tapping lightly. When he scrapes his nail ever so slightly across the nub and not even her locked jaw and clenched teeth are enough to stop the thin, high-pitched noise that ekes out.

“Nope,” she says, still managing to pop the p.

Rio pulls back and Beth has to bite her tongue to keep from making a sound when his hand recedes. Arching an eyebrow, he purses his lips, mock stern, but Beth can see the way the muscle at the hinge of his jaw twitches, can tell from the gleam in his eye that he’s holding back a grin. This isn’t a new game, not really, they’ve been playing a version of it more or less since they first met—though it’s never been quite as fun as it’s become recently.

“Fifty for a piece of paper?”

“A piece of paper that leads right back to me.”

There’s something birdlike about the brightness of his eyes, in the angle of his head cocked head when he looks down at her. “Oh yeah? You puttin’ your name on it?”

Beth wrinkles her nose. “Deborah’ll know who asked for it.”

Now he’s shaking his head slowly. “Told you, darlin’. It doesn’t matter what they know, only what they can prove.”

The smile playing around the corners of his mouth just knowing enough that a lick of genuine irritation has Beth straightening up, the water sloshing against the sides of the tub as she reaches for her drink.

“Legally,” she snaps, taking a sip. “Knowing’s enough to make it hard to ask for favors.”

His shoulder lifts, drops, the slightest acknowledgment of her point at odds with the utter lack of concern in his tone. “Everyone’s got a price.”

“And mine’s fifty.”

The click of her tumbler against porcelain seems to echo, underscoring the finality of her offer. A sharp contrast to the soft lap of the faint currents his arm drags through the water as he runs his fingers along her inner thigh.

“Fifty’s a big number.” His eyes are dark on hers as his hand slips back between her legs.

Beth swallows back a groan as he strokes gently over her clit. “Not for a partner.”

“Kind of a one-sided partnership when you take into account who’s doin’ all the legwork.”

“Not my lane,” Beth bites out, the strain equal parts from his fingers—dipping lower, closer to the pulsing center of the fire crackling inside her—and the bright grin that flashes across his face, the victory of turning his words back around him, of him recognizing it, stoking the heat just as much as his touch.

“You need me,” she reminds him, her eyes darting back and forth, tightly focused to catalog every micro reaction. And she sees it: the way his eyes change, the deep, dark brown turning almost black, liquid, fathomless.

“Yeah,” he says, the low rasp of his voice as tangible as the rough scrape of the callus at the base of his thumb against the soft skin at the very top of her thigh. “I do.”

Then two of his fingers are inside her, a husky cry ripping free of the back of Beth’s throat as her back arches, sending water sloshing over the sides of the tub, dark patches blooming across Rio’s shirt and jeans. Her hands scrabble, slipping off the slick porcelain, as he slowly pumps them in and out.

“So, we have—” Beth breaks off with a ragged gasp when Rio hooks his fingers up, pressing into that one spot he’s so, so good at finding, but doesn’t let him deter her. “We have a deal.”

His teeth flash, bright and white and sharp, his knuckles pressing into the soft curve of her thigh as he re-angles his thumb, pressing it down on her clit. Beth’s pulse pounds and eyelashes flutter, everything in her begging her to let her eyes shut, her head fall back and give in to the electric heat spiking through her, but she refuses to look away until he says it.

And he knows, of course he knows, because somewhere along the lines they’ve started learning each other. It’s such a jolt every time, something bubbling, sparkling, rising inside her stomach, her chest, her throat, warming her from the inside out whenever she realizes it—that he sees her, knows her, understands her.

“Yeah mama,” he says, his voice a deep rumble that rolls over her, stroking her and setting her alight just as surely as his fingers working inside her. “We have a deal.”

[woogyu]

6.“What are you doing here? It’s late.”

8.“Don’t smile at me like that. You know it drives me crazy.”

39.“I really want to kiss you right now.” | “Then do it.”

-

# that cute shit

notes; anxiety, trouble sleeping

wc; 1270

Drabble Game Requests | OPEN (but VERY VERY slow 25 requests in my inbox rn) | Drabble Prompts; fluff | angst | funny

-

It started with not being able to fall asleep, and before long, you were panicking about never being able to fall asleep again. This happened to you sometimes, when you were stressed or worried about something. Your brain couldn’t calm down, and you were left tossing and turning until daylight filtered through the curtains.

Today, however, you couldn’t fall asleep because just hours before your best friend since well forever had told you that he was in love with you. It caught you off guard, you had never considered that dating could even be an option with Seungkwan. That’s why you told him you had to think about it. You didn’t want to give him an answer until you were sure, the last thing you ever wanted to do was manipulate or play with his feelings.

At first, you told yourself that you were going to have to just let him down easily. Tell him that you didn’t think of him in that fashion. But was it the truth? Well, that’s why you currently found yourself awake, thinking about your feelings and what you had maybe come to take for granted.

You and Seungkwan were more touchy-feely than a lot of your other friends, a fact you thought was just because of your personalities. Upon further reflection, you realized that no, you didn’t want to cuddle with other men the same way that you did with Seungkwan. You didn’t want to watch him fall in love from the sidelines. That was really the kicker for you, thinking about him in a relationship with someone else. The more thought you gave it the more you realized that, yes, you did share his feelings. You wanted him all to yourself and you didn’t care how selfish that thought was.

After coming to terms with it there was no way you were going to fall asleep. You felt so itchy, having told him before that you were unsure how you felt. You wanted so badly to correct it, but it wasn’t a topic best approached over text.

Sleep-deprived and a little anxious about the whole thing, your brain thought the best decision would be to walk to his apartment... in the middle of the night... in the pouring rain. With the added factor of being in such a rush, you left in your pajamas and slippers, and without a raincoat or umbrella. You didn’t care about how you looked right now, you needed to talk to him. You needed him to know about... well everything. He needed to know that we're probably in love with him too, just a little slower on putting together and understanding those emotions.

»»————-　♡　————-««

You knocked on his door, watching dripping off of your soaking hair and clothing. You waited a few moments, anxiety building as you waited for him to open the door. You heard faint mumblings coming from the other side of the door, biting your lip as Seungkwan opened it up. He was rubbing at his eyes, obviously still half asleep as he looked at you.

“What are- oh, y/n” he started, pausing when he realized it was you before confusion settling into his brow.

“What are you doing here? It’s late” he said, his brain slowly catching up with what was going on. “God, did you fall in a lake or something?” he asked, gasping when he realized you were dripping water.

“Come on, get inside and I’ll grab you a change of clothes,” he said, moving aside to let you come in. Just seeing him made you feel a little better, the anxiety in your chest calming momentarily before you remembered why you had come here. He moved to leave, presumably to grab your clothing, but you reached out and took his hand to stop him.

“Just… let me say what I came to say… before I chicken out” you whispered, gripping his hand tightly as you took a composing breath.

“Is this about earlier? I told you that you could think it over y/n” he said with a crooked smile, his thumb brushing over your hand in calming motions. “You didn’t have to rush all the way over here in the middle of the night and in the rain just for that,” he said softly but turned to face you.

“I had to!” you said quickly, gnawing at your bottom lip as you struggled to find a way to articulate your feelings. “I did think it over, and I had to come to tell you that…” you trailed over, eyebrows drawing together in frustration at not having the right words.

“I… I never realized it before, but you’re the only one I want to cuddle with while watching movies and visit new restaurants with. You’re the first person I think of telling when I get good news, and the person I want to celebrate big life events with.” You let out a shaky breath, while his smile grew with every word that you were saying. “The thought of you seeing or dating someone else makes me… jealous… and despite knowing it is incredibly selfish, I really want to keep you all to myself.” You rushed out, closing your eyes as your heart pounded away in your chest.

You peaked out at him, breath hitching when you saw he was just beaming at you, giving you one of those full smiles that you loved.

“Don’t smile at me like that. You know it drives me crazy” you mumbled, blushing as you looked down at your feet. You heard him chuckle softly, taking a step closer to you.

“I don’t know when or how or what lead to me feeling this way about you, but I think I might be in love with you too. That’s why I’m here, I couldn’t sleep without telling you, without you knowing how I really felt” you said, squeezing his hand for emphasis.

“I really want to kiss you right now” he whispered, letting your hand go as he reached up to cradle your face in his hands. He gently urged you to look at him, your heart rate picking up again when you saw the deep emotion swimming in his eyes. The love he had for you, the devotion, it was all there. He was ready to give you everything and anything you wanted, whatever would make you happy. He wanted to give himself to you entirely if you would have him.

“Then do it” you answered, your eyes flicking down to his lips before up to his eyes. Not a second after those words were out of your mouth, he captured your lips in a deep and rushed kiss. You poured your hearts and souls out to each other, and it was all echoed in that kiss.

When you pulled back panting and breathless, he pressed his forehead against yours. His thumbs stroking along your cheekbones.

“I would love to stand here and kiss you until night becomes day, but you are literally shaking right now, and I’m worried you’re going to catch hypothermia” he breathed, reluctantly pulling away from you. “Warm clothes first, and kisses second,” he said, reminding himself of the priorities. You laughed a little bit, watching as he scrambled off to his room.

Sometimes being awake at 2am wasn’t the worst thing in the world, especially when you had good company.

[come-on-shitty-boys]

//general dating headcannons//

Characters: Sugawara Koushi/Matsukawa Issei/Miya Osamu

Word Count: 1.5K (~500 a piece)

Warnings: none :)

Notes: my head is so empty.  It is just tattoo artist!kuroo rn.

Sugawara Koushi

Ah my beautiful chaotic angel.

Sugawara is pretty bold for the most part, but-

When it came to asking you out?  He couldn’t do it.  His stomach would get all jittery and he was never able to form sentences.  

So, when you made the first move?  When you hit on him first?  He instantly regained any and all of his confidence.

You thought he was just going to sit there and blush? Oh, honey.  How wrong you are.

Sugawara simply smiles at you and flirts right back twice as hard.  Knowing that you’re into him as much as he’s into you makes him forget any anxieties he has about approaching you.  By the end of the exchange, Sugawara has your number and a date scheduled for Friday night.  

It’s a very relaxed dynamic with the two of you.  

Sugawara is really big on study dates and if you aren’t the best student, he doesn’t mind breaking it down step by step with you.  He’s going to be asking if his explanations make sense after each step and if you’re still lost, don’t worry.  Suga would love to try to find a better way to help you.  He wants to be a teacher, so why not start practicing now?

He’s going to pester you about taking care of yourself.  Please expect regular reminders to drink water and grab a snack, but the same applies to him.  If he’s asking you to get a snack, I can assure you that he has unwrapped a granola bar.  He tells you to drink some water?  Koushu will be downing water as if he hasn’t had a drink in years.  

He is a very “we” oriented person.  Any problems he wants to get through together.  He doesn’t see the point in attacking one another if there’s a bigger issue that needs addressed.

Because of this, you guys never really fight?  Sure, there’s some minor spats every now and then, but it’s never anything serious.  

Sugawara also doesn’t really get jealous.  He has a crazy amount of trust in you and knows that you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself.  But, if you need him to step in, he’s not afraid to be so overwhelmingly nice that whoever might be hitting on you backs off.  

Always makes sure that you’re okay ;-; He wants to make sure that you are mentally, physically, and emotionally well at all times.  

He’s very open with you and would really like it if you could be open with him.  He understands that it’s difficult and not everything is the easiest to say, but he’s there to help you through anything.  It’s the two of you versus the issue.  Suga doesn’t want you to feel alone.

He’s a super kind boyfriend, but also very fun.  He will be showing up at your door in the middle of the night because he’s craving a milkshake and some fresh air.  It’s as simple as that.  

Sugawara keeps an extra jacket in his club room cubby in case you ever get cold in class, because yes.  He is that boyfriend.

10/10 recommend a Koushi in your life.

Matsukawa Issei

THE BEST 

Like the absolute best

Issei is just so laid-back that it’s difficult not to have a good time with him.  

He likes to have his arm around your waist and he’ll pull you into his side nice and tight, let you relish in his body heat.

He’ll give you a really soft kiss on your temple that makes you smile up at him, love in your eyes, so happy to be with him.

Only for him to straight up jab you in the sides with his fingers.  Not hard enough to actually hurt you, but it’s definitely catching you off guard.  

Issei loves to make fun of you.  I don’t make the rules.  He’s going to lovingly call you an idiot when you misspell something simple or make a simple calculation error.  If you’re shorter than him, doesn’t even matter how short, he’s going to pat your head and call you ‘short stuff’

But he would never laugh at you for something that you were genuinely insecure about.  He’s not that much of an asshole.  And if he ever does say something that upsets you?

He’s right there behind you, bringing you flush against his chest, leaning down to whisper every reassurance and every apology, reminding you that every fiber of his being loves you just the way you are.

I would never outright tell you that he gets jealous, but-

The extra bite to his words whenever the conversation is focused on another guy would lead you to believe otherwise.  

He refuses to admit that he’s jealous.  Matsukawa Issei?  Jealous?  N o.  yes.

One time he took you to work and the two of you took a nap in one of the bigger coffins

This was, of course, only after he hid from you.  When you came looking for him, he waited until you were right in front of him before he grabbed you and pulled you towards him.

You screamed loud enough to wake the dead.  Luckily, none of his clients had an urge to wake from their eternal slumber in response to your screams.

Nap time with Matsukawa is a must.  Whether it be in bed or on the couch or, hell, he’s willing to sleep on the floor, he just wants to be able to stare at you while you fall asleep on his chest.

He really likes playing with your hair?  That’s his go-to mindless habit; twisting your hair around his fingers absently.  

Not going to lie, he prefers staying home for dates than actually going out.  He wouldn’t object if you really wanted to, but sitting on the couch with take-out containers and Netflix is his preferred date night activity.  

He doesn’t even ask if you want his jacket.  The minute it even gets close to being the slightest bit chilly, he’s putting his jacket around your shoulders.

Loves back hugs and you can expect all of the back hugs from our gorgeous boy 

Miya Osamu

It all started because Atsumu told him that he wouldn’t.  

Ever since Atsumu had found out about his brother's little crush on you, he had made it his personal mission to tease ‘samu about it every single day.  

Atsumu pretty much said that Osamu was too much of a scaredy cat to ask you out and if ‘samu didn’t ask you out by the end of the day, Atsumu would take you out on a date instead.

So, insert Miya Osamu immediately walking towards you without another word to his brother.  He stopped you in the hallway and simply asked, “Would you like to go on a date sometime?”

Is he proud that it took his brother threatening him to get him to ask you out? No. Does he regret asking you out? Also no.

Osamu made you food and took you on a picnic for your first date ;-; He would’ve liked to have just invited you over and cooked with you, but Atsumu was home and there isn’t a bigger vibe killer than your twin brother down the hall playing video games with his friends.

It takes a lot for anything to really piss Osamu off.  He would never yell at you, but he does have his moments where he gets annoyed and everything just bottles up until he snaps at you.

Instantly feels bad.  The way you flinch at his words has his temper fizzling away from him in a moment’s notice.  He’ll wrap you in a bone crushing hug, apologizing into your hair, not even giving you a chance to speak, because he’s practically smothering you against his shoulder.

Hahahahaha he’s one of the most jealous people that you will ever meet.

Maybe it’s from growing up with a brother and constantly having to share that made him despise the thought of someone else looking at you now.  

Osamu is a pretty big guy which already makes him kind of intimidating, but his deadpan expression and bored words just adds another layer of icing to the cake. 

His grip on your hand will tighten until his knuckles are white and you’re squirming in an attempt to pull your hand away because his grip is kind of uncomfortable.  

He won’t even say anything.  He’ll just stare and make the occasional back-handed remark towards whatever guy had approached you.

He really doesn’t like to cuddle.  You can lay your head on his shoulder or his chest, but other than that, he doesn’t really see the appeal of it, and, quite honestly, he’s fine without it. 

But, he does like to hold your hand.  Like-

Always.  If you’re just sitting on the couch together, he wants to hold your hand.  You guys are waiting for something to finish up in the oven?  He’s holding your hands in his.  There’s just something so comforting to him about feeling your hands in his 

In conclusion.  Hi, I love Miya Osamu and I would like to purchase one ASAP. Thank you.

Taglist: @moncymonce​ @nicka-nell​ also hey @nekxrizawa​ come get your husband.

[lazypetals]

we're back at school bitches and i've been up to my walking all day and staying under my cal limit. let's fucking go. xmas break at home was just full of food and people and i wasn't weighing myself or bodychecking and yeah it was nice and i'm fortunate to have that, but in the back of my mind i felt like shit because i knew that i'd regret every bite of cannoli from that new bakery and eating sandwiches until my stomach felt like it was gonna explode and huge scoops of vanilla ice cream with extra chocolate chips (that i willingly added cause i'm fucking fat) once i got back to school and had more awareness of my body.

it sounds bad but it feels so good. i missed ed youtube. i missed weighing myself every hour and checking my waistline after every sip of water. bodychecking whenever i pee or just getting the urge to bodycheck and going to my mirror to life my shirt up. it's so comforting because i finally know i can do it. i plateaued so hard from 2020 to the first few months of 2021. i was like 160-165 for most of that time. then i got my shit together and it started working, and i finished off my semester and went home in the low 150s and i was so amped. but i went home for 4 months. and i went back to 163 JUST IN TIME TO GO ON MY FIRST SLEEPOVER COTTAGE TRIP AND TOOK PICTURES IN BIKINIS WITH MY FRIENDS THAT THEY ALL POSTED. and they're all so skinny and have those vertical belly buttons and honestly the pics weren't terrible but i look like an absolute blob but i wasn't gonna say that and stop them from posting because that would just make me stand out more. anyway september rolled around, i was back at school, then my grandma died, school was busy and i was just straight up not vibing.

but october -> december.......... im in love. december 2nd 2021. i saw the 140s for the first time since i was 15 years old. my lowest weight ever was around that time, beginning of 2017 when i was delivering newspapers every week and walking like crazy to high school and back. it was 138 pounds. if i could get back to something even close to that i would cry. december 2nd 2021 though was 149.8 pounds. and honestly? i was ecstatic. i bought a scale off facebook marketplace because i couldn't handle being away from the one i had at home and not knowing my weight. december 2nd i met that girl in front of a subway and i practically ran home i was so fucking excited. and to see my lowest weight in literally years, breaking below the 150s.... im still giddy.

I KNOW I CAN DO IT AGAIN. again, unfortunately winter break happened and i left home on jan 17th somewhere around 154 again. but that's okay. because i was 151.4 yesterday/last night and that's exactly where i was on november 27th 2021.

and actually i'm gonna weigh myself right now.

151.2!!!! AND I HAVENT EVEN POOPED IN 2 DAYS OR SLEPT YET IT'S LITERALLY 7:15 AM

im manifesting this for me. i have basically nothing to eat in my fridge or cupboard. the only food i really have rn is:

- assorted bag of oh henry/reese cups/cookies and creme

-cottage cheese

-carton of eggs

-3 cheesestrings

-a small sleeve of 8 crackers

-some cream cheese

-cans of 100cal chicken noodle soup

-some frozen broccoli

-frozen fries

-frozen fish

-hot chocolate powder (i deserve it fuck off)

-teaaaaa

-also some more frozen english muffins (160cal) and other dry pasta to be cooked, tuna cans, just other assorted low cal stuff that takes too much effort to make

it couldn't be easier. when i go in for my lab tomorrow i'm gonna get some cucumbers, cold cut slices (usually like 20-30cal per slice), and cherry tomatoes on the way home. those are my all time safe foods i'm telling you like 2 cold cut slices 2 baby cucumbers and im full for hours it's fucking magical.

wish me luck i cannot WAIT

(i just dont wanna lose all my ass though thats the only thing i have going for me) (it seems fine so far) (but id much prefer finally having skinny arms instead of my stupid thick meaty forearms and basically bingo wings over an ass any day)

peace

[mythiccheroacademia]

No, this is 

A/N: Talk about record timing. Can’t believe I got this out in one go. This is the last part of the three part Sero fanfic series. No more angst. Y’all got lucky with this one ;)

Sorry for the mushiness. You and Sero are simps™️. It was kind of ugly.  However, it couldn’t be helped. 

I had fun writing this. I hope you had fun too. Enjoy 🖤

Pairing: Sero X Fem!Reader

Warnings: cussing, not graphic but heavily implied under-aged sex that teenagers don’t do (hope you noted the sarcasm), and fluffiness!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

No, this is

It was 24 days post-breakup. You were doing better. Much better. There were still days when the tears would burn, but it was nothing crippling. Not like it used to be. Besides, between training and your academics, you didn’t have time to mope around. You might be heartbroken, but you weren’t going deter your life because of it.

You sat on your couch, studying for your Calculus test the next day. The busy work had been down to a minimal, so you had more time to study for exams. For now, you were reviewing everything you and Momo had reviewed during the evening.

Then your phone buzzed.

You squinted as you read the name, assuring yourself you weren’t seeing wrong.

It was Sero.

It had been over three weeks since you received a text from him. And vice-versa. You almost forgot his contact was in your phone. Hagakure had said texting him in a moment of weakness would mean double heartache for you. So, you made yourself suppress any urges to text him.

There was a voice inside your head to ignore the message. It was only recently that you had been okay with seeing him on a daily basis. And the class dynamic was going back to normal. You didn’t want to ruin it again—

He double—no—triple texted.

Maybe you shouldn’t have opened it as quickly as you did.

Sero: Hey, how are you doing?

Sero:

Okay, that was probably weird. I’m sorry for texting you after all this time. I know I’m probably the last person you want on your phone so, I’ll make these next few paragraphs as quick as possible

Sero:

At first, I thought time apart would be good for us. 24 hours after, I was a mess, but seeing you smile and laugh…I thought I could suck it up and move on if you were too. Three weeks in, and I’m going crazy not being able to talk to you. I know it’s almost been a month and I am every bit of a coward for only now growing the balls to finally reach out to you, but I need you to know this. I didn’t want to break-up. I never did. I only said that because I was angry, defensive and I wanted to hurt you. It was in the heat of the moment, but that’s no excuse. I was being a dick. I’m sorry for hurting you. I didn’t mean to be condescending. I didn’t mean to lose my temper. I never mean to make you feel like I don’t have time for you.

Sero: I would spend every waking moment with you if I could, but it’s just been a bit overwhelming lately with school. Something I know you can relate to and I’m sorry was acting like I was alone in that. I feel like such an asshole for letting you go. You’re worth fighting for, Y/N. These past 18 months have been so amazing and I’m not ready to let that go. I never want to. I want to be by your side through thick and thin. I’m sorry for not showing you that as of late, but I swear it still holds true

Sero: Long story short, I’m willing to fix this if you want to. I want to talk. Face to face. If you don’t want to get back together, I understand. I will respect your decision no matter what. I just want to make sure both of us lay our issues on the table so, at the very least, we get closure and, hopefully, stay friends. Know that you will always have me as your biggest supporter, even if it’s not in the way I want to be

Sero: I love you, Y/N. Now and forever. I’m so sorry I ever hurt you

He watched the dots in the chat bubble bounce, on and off, for 30 minutes.

You: Hey

Sero: Hey

You: Apology accepted. Thank you for reaching out and I didn’t mean to leave you on read. I just had to type up my corny paragraph in notes before I sent it to you. You know how I get

Sero: Of course. And even if you did mean to, I would deserve it

Sero: And I’m all ears…or eyes?

You laughed at that. Even after all this time, he was still cracking jokes.

You: I thought I could make peace with what happened that night. It was so hard going to bed, knowing we had fought and not making up. But you looked like you were moving on and I didn’t want you to pity me. So, I chose to move on to. Or, at least I tried to.

You; The truth is, I never wanted to break-up with you. I don’t even know why I ever suggested the idea. I was mad and I just started rambling, finding whatever I could say to hurt you like I was hurting. I’m sorry for that. It makes me feel happy that you feel the same way. When I heard you agree with me, I felt like I could’ve died right there. I thought ‘I just helped him get rid of myself.’ I felt like the biggest idiot for ruining our relationship. Thank you for apologizing, but I also have things to apologize for.

You: I’m sorry for storming in your room with an attitude. I’m sorry for being a hypocrite and getting angry with you whenever you had schoolwork. That’s important and I was being a jerk. When I confronted you, I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that either. I haven’t loved anyone like I love you, Sero. Losing you broke my heart in ways I didn’t think were possible. 18 months isn’t enough time. I probably sound selfish, but I want more. With you. Only you. I want to talk it out. I know we can fix this. I want to so badly because I love you too much to let you go

You: I’m so sorry for hurting you

Sero: apology accepted. not to be annoying, but you don’t know how happy I am rn. i’d kiss you if i could

You: simp

You: talk tonight?

Sero: look who’s talking

Sero: and as much as I want to, you have the calculus test tomorrow, don’t you? I want you to get all the study time you can

Sero: tomorrow night?

You: no, you have tutoring for the Japanese Lit exam Friday. I know how hard you’ve been working in that class, so I want you to put all your energy on that

You: we can talk after school Friday?

Sero: okay, sounds good

You: okay

You: thank you for not giving up on me

Sero: never

Sero: I love you, baby. I’m sorry again

You: I know. I love you more

Sero: impossible

…

The next day, your classmates were very confused to see the two of you walk into homeroom together. They gaped as you laughed at a joke he cracked.

After nearly a month of ignoring one another, you two were suddenly keke-ing it up? What?

Your friends wanted answers. So, you were forced to tell them after class. Most of them were happy the two of you would talk it out. They respected your split but missed how happy you two when you were together. It just made sense.

Mina and Bakugo said they would only be happy if the talk went well. Bless their hearts.

On Friday night, you were just about to text Sero to ask where and when you’d talk. Before you could send the message, a knock on your window made you jump.

“Helloooo~” the perpetrator goofily sung, dangling by his tape.

You rolled your eyes as you opened the window to let him in.

“You scared the shit out of me. I thought you said no more dangling by windows like a stalker?” you teased.

“I did?” he chuckled.

You let him use your shoulder as support as you held his waist and he climbed through the window. Detaching himself from the used tape, he finally stood on his feet, but his arms never left you.

A moment passed between you two as you stared at one another. Sero only looked at your smile for three seconds before he took your lips with his own. Your hands threaded through his hair as his cupped your cheeks, squeezing out all the space between you.

The kiss was firm, desperate, and it kind of hurt; but it was everything you two needed at that moment. It was a crash course of the 28 days you spent apart. The feeling of your lips pressed against his was arresting. You couldn’t think. All you could do was relish in the feeling of relief. Relief that you were re-learning that he tasted like warm cinnamon and spice.

It was oxygen that separated you two. You kissed one of his hands on your cheeks and Sero connected your foreheads.

“I missed you,” he whispered, against your lips. “I was an idiot.”

“You were.” You softly kissed him, biting his bottom lip and enjoying the way he groaned. “But I was too. I missed you so much.”

“Forgive me?”

“Only if you’ll forgive me.”

“Always,” he smiled.

You returned it tenfold. “Always,” you repeated.

Then your lips found one another again. This time, you drew impossibley closer. Your arms found purchase around his neck as his hands slid down to your hips. Your tongues explored the warm cavern of the other’s mouth, making up for lost time. You moaned into him and Sero felt his dick twitch. One hand gripped the back of your head, tilting your head so he could have even more access. His other hand gripped your ass, making you whine in need. Just as your hands touched the warm skin on his taut stomach, Sero pulled your head back.

“Fuck—wait, baby,” he panted.

“What?” you hissed, pissed he was interrupting.

Even with his eyes clouded with lust, Sero would always prove to be the rational one in the relationship.

“W-we still have things we need to talk about.”

“Hanta, you walked in here, your hair in a ponytail, and no underwear under your sweatpants. Your grey sweatpants,” you enunciated. “And you wanna talk?”

“W-well, this is important and—” He tried to continue even as you forced yourself onto his neck. He forgot how sensitive he was there. And were you always this good with your tongue? “A-and—shit—I mean, we promised to talk…talk about wh-what weeee neeeed…oooh right there sweetheart—fuck! No!”

He pulled you away again, this time glaring down at you. However, he didn’t manage long from seeing your glistening lips from sucking on his skin. Your eyes glowed in pride at the darkening mark and they flickered upwards, meeting his crumbling resolve. You licked your bottom lip, eyeing him like he was a four-course meal.

You were gonna kill him one day.

“We need to talk about how to improve our relationship,” he gulped.

You quirked an eyebrow but smiled. “How about a deal? We get rid of this,” he curses as you palm his erection. “And then we can spend the night talking, yeah?”

He didn’t even miss a beat.

“Bet.”

His mouth was on yours in an instant. You figure yourselves out between kisses.

“Door?”

“Locked,” you confirmed. “Condoms?”

Sero hissed out another curse. “Shit, no. I didn’t think we’d—”

“Don’t worry about it. I have some in the drawer.” You jump and he effortlessly catches you so your secure on his hips. The adornment in his eyes makes your stomach do flips. You’ve missed this. You’ve missed him. You can’t believe you almost let him go.

“I love you,” he whispered, kissing you almost impossibly soft.

You return it. “I love you too. Now, make love to me, Sero Hanta.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

A third of the night was spent tangled beneath the sheets, letting your bodies explore each other until not a single curve or scar was left untouched. After burning through five condoms, the other third was left for conversation. Vulnerable moments were shared. Some tears were shed, but those intimate truths would forever be treasured. Finally, the remainer of the night was spent asleep, wrapped in the other’s arms. A silent vow floating between your lips that you would never let go.

Because, this truly was better.

[i-write-sometimes-blog]

Missed you (Rey x Reader)

Summary: Rey is back from a mission and after a very long time without you she is in need of your touch.

Warnings: SMUT. It's a little more detailed than my usual works so please +18, fingering, oral (female receiving). Slight thigh riding. Touch starved.

Words: 1,853

A/N: I literally wrote this bc I missed my wife, and I missed writing. I know I still have a long to learn about writing smut but I kinda like the way this turned out.

Edit: I had to remove the gif bc some p*rn blogs were interacting which is the very least thing I want.

The door of your quarters slammed closed behind you with a loud thud muffling the first of many moans leaving your mouth as Rey pushed you against the cold wall, kissing your lips passionately. The arousal in your body growing wilder inside you with every passing moment her hands were traveling up and down your figure.

Bodies pressed together against the wall, hands grabbing each other's faces urging to get impossibly closer to one another.

Carefully you raised your leg between her thighs earning a delicious moan from Rey's lips as she felt the friction over her covered core, delighted with the sensation the small moves from your leg provided her.

Rey had just come back from a long mission. It had been weeks, if not months, since the last time you saw her, you had already lost count of how many rotations had passed. But she was back at the base now and the desire awakened in your body the moment you saw her stepping out of the Falcon, beautiful as always, a mischievous plan hidden in her smile.

There was no need for words, a simple lustful gaze was enough for you to know exactly what Rey had in mind. She was tired after the long mission, hungry as she had never been before and in need of sleep, but even more in need of your touch.

It didn't take long for you to find yourself in your quarters, softly whimpering as Rey pressed hot kisses all along your shoulders, playfully biting and sucking on the hypersensitive skin of your neck while your hands tried to get her out of the many layers of thin fabric that covered her delicate body.

Both of you were desperate, needy. Didn't realize how touch starved you were until now, devouring each other against the wall begging for more kisses, more skin, more light touches, craving to feel more of each other.

“Bed. Now.” Rey murmured against your neck before crashing her lips against yours. Hands on your hips she started leading you backwards to the bed on the other side of the room as she had done many other nights before. You moved around the room in the dark leaving a trail of clothes all over the floor until the back of your legs met the soft mattress.

Rey roughly pushed you onto the bed, immediately climbing over your lap, slightly rocking her hips against your leg, longing to feel the friction that was driving her wild. Her lips leaving yours for the first time only to take her shirt off and while she was on it you couldn't resist to wrap her slim waist and guide her body to your mouth pressing light kisses all over her heated skin. From her long neck and down to her breast, taking special time to play around with your tongue over her hardened nipple which made your lover shiver as sinful whimpers left her pretty lips.

Rey moaned your name under her breath when one of your hands slided under her underwear and you fingers met her most sensitive spot.

"I love the way my name sounds in your lips." You smirked, rubbing her clit torturing slowly, making her gasp before a new moan with your name filled the room. "Especially when you moan it."

Those sounds. Her beautiful moans of pleasure just made the arousal and the lust stronger inside you, causing a rush of heat throughout your body. Rey whimpering under your touch got you even more eager to feel her. Your fingers slided deeper between her thighs teasing her entrance. With a grin dancing over your lips you stared at her raising an eyebrow, waiting for her to ask you to fuck her just the right way.

"Please," she finally said panting, guiding your lips back to her mouth to hungrily kiss you one more time. "I’ve waited a long time for this. I need you right now, please."

“Please, what?” you teased, enjoying having control over this powerful woman.

“Please touch me.” she gasped in your ear.

With that you slided your fingers inside her dripping heat, pumping them in and out slowly before reaching a steady pace. Trembling obscenities leaving her mouth as you kept your fingers working on her, the palm of your hand providing the needed friction over her bulge of nerves with each stroke and each new thrust. The combination was taking her closer to her high. She began to grind her hips holding your shoulders steady, riding your fingers faster with every passing second chasing her release, a delicious ache spreading over her whole body.

Whines of pure pleasure echoing through the room as your fingers pleasured your lover’s desires, curling them inside her you found that sweet spot that made her arch her spine and moan blissfully. She was close, you could feel her walls tightening around your fingers, her hips moving a little slower but never stopping, not even to catch her breath. Her muscles were tired after the long mission, her whole body tensing more and more. It was just a matter of time for her to get there.

With a few more moves from your fingers she reached her high, her sweet release was like melted honey dripping between your fingers that helped her ride her high. Her grip on your shoulders tightened, holding herself as the luscious moan of your name came from her mouth in the very last moments.

Shivering and exhausted, Rey leaned in to kiss you passionately, gasping between the kisses still trying to calm her breath.

"Miss me?" you purred as you kissed her neck, leaving marks over her sensible skin for her to remember this night.

"You have no idea how much." Rey half moaned half whispered in your ear, her breath still agitated but there was a playful tone on her voice that let you know this wasn’t over. "I missed your eyes, your lips. Your fingers deep inside me." She kissed down your neck playfully licking here and there, making a new wave of heat rush over your body. "I missed the feel of your skin and the taste of your lips. I missed you more than words can say.” her words purred in your ear followed by a few gasps, the result of your fingers softly rubbing her still sensitive clit.

“Show me how much.” You told her, your voice sounded hungrier than you anticipated and, oh, the effect it had on Rey. She looked down at you with eyes darkened with desire. She bit the delicate skin on your neck earning a fresh moan from your lips.

“Lay back.” she said, the tone of her voice was lower, deeper. It was rather an order that you were more than willing to obey.

You would usually take your time to discover every inch of yourselves, you both liked to take this moment of intimacy slowly, to caress every single spot delicately, sweetly. But not today. Today you just wanted to melt beneath each other's touch, you wanted to satisfy the urge. Compensate for the time you were apart.

Rey kissed your lips one more time before starting her way down your body, never losing eye contact. She was eager to touch you, desperate for a taste.

Then she was finally softly biting the inside of your legs looking you in the eye with that mischievous grin. Maker, she could easily make you come right there with just the looks she was giving you, you couldn’t imagine a more beautiful view than her head between your thighs.

After taking off the soaked underwear out of your body she was inpatient, she seemed hungry and once she had you completely naked and spread open for her she couldn't control herself any longer she leaned to brush her lips over your heated core, eliciting a wave of pleasure through your body.

She was rougher than usual, feral, devouring you with so much passion that soon made your whines filled the warm air in the small room.

“Rey!” you cried in pleasure every time her tongue found a new delicate spot. She took special time to softly suck on your clit, flicking her tongue up and down your wetness. Pleased with the very sound that left your mouth knowing she was the one causing such pretty moans to escape from you.

You tugged her hair, desperate to hold onto something, this only made her moan against your most sensitive spot sending a delicious shiver over your body. You kept the grip on her hair, bucking your hips up in need of more of her lips and tongue against your core. Unconsciously you closed your legs around her head as a load whine escaped your mouth. Rey stopped her work on you for a moment to push your back into the bed, spreading your leg open for her as she shifted to have a better hold with one of her strong arms.

“Stay steady,” she said repositioning between your legs “or I'll stop.”

“No!” you whinnied “Please don’t stop”.

With a satisfied smirk she went back to her work, tracing circles with her tongue over your pulsing clit sending waves of bliss through every inch of you. Rey added a couple fingers to the mix that was driving your senses crazy, effortlessly sliding her skilled fingers into your dripping entrance.

It was all perfect, her fingers curling inside your aroudl, her tongue sending throbs of pleasure to your core, she was taking you closer and closer to your release and she knew it. She enjoyed it.

Pace getting faster, tongue moving quicker. Rey was exhausted but your pretty moans kept her going, though they were rather whimpers and obscenities, but mostly cries of her name. She had you whining and trembling beneath her seductive spell taking you closer to your high until all you could think of was her and nothing more than her.

You closed your eyes as the orgasm snapped at you, every muscle on your body tensing as the known sensation in the low of your belly spreaded through every inch of your body. Rey never stopped her work on your core, she helped you ride your orgasm to the very end, pleased with the way your back arched and a fresh moan invaded the room.

Your lover took her time to lick away your sweet juices off your still heated core before climbing up you again meeting as much skin as she could, her lips were more tender now, delicate and sweet as your chest rising and falling slowly getting back to normal. Then her lips finally met yours again, Rey kissed you slowly and delicately, even a little sloppy. Your hand traveled to the back of her neck to pull her closer to your mouth. This act was sweet, soft after the rough reunion.

“I really missed you, Y/N” she smiled sincerely down at you "and I missed this." She told you running her hand through your messy hair. You giggled pressing a gentle kiss over her lips.

"I miss you too, sunshine."

Tagging: @1-800-depressedlesbian , @xgaygremlinx, @natasha-danvers

(In case you want to be tagged for specific things or everything I write, just let me know)

[trash1129]

S/o on their period (S brothers)

Ay(Admin note: Just gonna say this rn. They are vampires, these motherf-ers would be going crazy. So, I am going to try to make this sweet but also keep in mind THEY ARE VAMPIRESSSSS! All the brothers would most likely try to avoid you in this situation, so you wont die lol.)

Shu:

Okay, first of all, he keeps his distance most of the time when it comes to this. So, this is a rare case that takes A LOT of self control (Same goes for all the bros)

Since he usually sleeps a lot, he kind of enjoys the fact you are tired all the time when your period comes around.

You always wanting to sleep is a HUGE plus for him because he can have peace and cuddle you in the process.

Though, he isn’t the best when it comes to your mood swings and constant complains/cries when cramps come along.

He does have some sympathy though-so sometimes he will get you a heating pad for when your cramps are bad.

Of course, he would never admit he got it for that reason. He’d probably say something like “You were being too loud and complaining too much. I only got you this because you were annoying me.”

tbh, when it comes to you wanting cuddles....he’s always secretly down for it.

He does have to fight off the urge to bite you though-

Reiji:

In my opinion, he has some of the best self control out of all the brothers. He is STILL a vampire though, meaning he does try to avoid you as well during this time.

He is also the smartest, so he understands your needs in this situation.

He isn’t the type to cuddle or stuff like that, he is the type to get you medicine and gives you suggestions on to help with the pain.

nlg, he probably tries to study you just so he can have a BETTER understanding on your actions and etc.

Mood swings are something he cannot handle well. 

He is all about manners, so if you’re angry and snap at him...oh buddy boi.

He knows if your hormones but still HE GETS PISSED.

Most likely going lecture you because of it.

Does give you pain meds when you need them, and also gives you home remedies.

When your cramps still are really bad, He suggests what could possibly help.

“Take a warm bath, heating pad, blah blah blah-”

I think he would be the best at taking care of you in this situation.

Ayato:

As much as I love him...I think he may be one of the worst in this situation..

DEFINITELY HAS SOME OF THE WORST SELF CONTROL 

He needs to avoid you as much as possible when you are on your time of the month.

That doesn’t stop him from being his cocky and annoying self. 

Will most likely talk to you through the door.

“This is so annoying! Can this thing hurry up? Ore-sama is hungry”

istg stfu

He is nice sometimes though

He can sometimes hear you cry or groan in pain when cramps get really bad.

When things get really bad and you don’t want to get out of bed, he may or may not slip you a cookie or two he stole from kanato.

Asks Reiji for the best cramp medicine.

Does he admit that he worries? Ha, nope.

Doesn’t really mind your mood swings unless you hurt his ego-

Feels bad when you really want someone to hold but he can’t be there due to his poor self control.

Knows being on your period makes you really sleepy (Due to losing iron), but still constantly keeps you up because 1.) He is bored and 2.) He wants to know you’re okay.

May have moments where he wants literally break your door down because the smell of blood is too strong

Kanato:

Here’s another one with horrible self control-

We all know this boy is literally horrible at controlling himself whether it comes to emotions or anything.

I think he is maybe the 2nd you want to avoid the most. Ayato being the 3rd

Hates it ,and I mean HATES IT, When you have mood swings.

You get frustrated and yell at him? BOOM, MAJOR ISSUES!

You start crying really hard? BOOM, ANOTHER ISSUE!

When you’re mad...literally it turns into a yelling battle that ends with him ready to kill you.

When you’re sad, there are two outcomes. One being that he tries to comfort you or the other him yelling at you to shut up and stop crying.

Cramps are maybe something he is okay with? I can’t really tell what he would be like. He would probably be annoyed but help you to make you stop complaining.

You having cravings is a WHOLE OTHER level. 

We all know he loves sweets, and I can see him having times were he is sweet and shares with you.

“(S/o) looks sad...Should we give her some sweets, Teddy?”

maybe will bake for you

Other times I can see him yelling at you and calling you selfish for wanting his sweets.

Moral of the story, stay away from Kanato when on your time of the month.

Laito:

WEE WOO WEE WOO! AVOID HIM AT ALL COSTS ON TIME OF THE MONTH!

No joke though, he would be the WORST when it came to your period...because he is a vampire but he also is A HUGE PERVVVVVVVVV

He probs would try to go town when your on your period, if you catch my drift

Literally, number 1 worst. 

but on the more PG side of things, I can see him doing some sweet stuff for you on your period.

He will most likely rub your stomach when you have cramps

Cuddles the shit outta you when you’re having a sad mood swing.

Will get you chocolates on rare occasion 

but most of the time you would be safer in your room away from him.

Talks to you through the door 

gets you meds

he does have his sweet times when it comes to this but I can mainly see him being one of the MUST AVOIDS when it comes to this.

Sorry not sorry

Subaru: 

Has the MOST self control out of all the brothers but still doesn’t mean you should be with him during this time. (You shouldn’t be with any of them during this time)

But if you have to stay with someone, I’d say he is your safest bet. still be careful tho-

Being a tsundere is hard during this time of the month for him.

If he is too mean, he is scared to death that you will burst out in tears or get super pissed.

Yet if he is too nice, then you’ll get the wrong idea, d-dummy.

Next to Reiji, he is the best at helping.

He will take pretty good care of you but will make up an excuse to why he is treating you this way.

When you snap at him because of mood swings, he will snap back but doesn’t carry on because he knows you’ll either cry or get more angry.

Crying is the only thing he is iffy about only because he doesn’t know how to comfort you.

Gets you chocolates and sweets

Gives you meds

All that jazz

he is still a vampire though, so be always on guard 

[turtle-steverogers]

Rumble (1/2)

mmmm greasers and socs we stan

also its like 1:40 so uh yah be gentle ik my writing ain’t thriving rn

warnings: homophobic slurs, heated make out seshes, uhhh knives/stabbing, bad 1 am writing im sorry

ship: sprace

word count: 2600

-

Electricity coursed through Race’s veins as Spot reached up, tangling his fingers in his blonde curls and tilting his head, deepening the kiss even further.  Race hummed, tightening his grip on Spot’s waist and pushing him further against the wall, smirking against Spot’s lips when the breath of a moan escaped him.

It was thrilling, the leather of his own jacket combating the blue boiled wool of Spot’s letterman one.  They weren’t supposed to be doing this, the long standing rivalry between the Greasers and the Socs holding strong.  But Spot Conlon and Racetrack Higgins had never been known to stick to the status quo.  

It had started as a heated fling.  Adrenaline riding high after a particularly intense rumble one evening led them to Race’s dingy bedroom, where they had spent the night on his mattress, words scarce and breaths heavy.  They’d played around like that for a while, stealing kisses when no one was looking, holding teasing eye contact across classrooms.  It drove Race crazy, though.  He wanted more, his passion for Spot giving way to love, care for the Soc worming its way into his stomach and seizing hold of his heart.

This internal conflict, however, was quickly resolved when Spot had pulled him into the boy’s restroom between periods, leading him into a stall and kissing him gentler Race could have imagined.  He’d whispered his love onto Race’s lips, insisting that they become something closer than what they were.  

Race had agreed, but they had a reputation to uphold.  For as long as anyone could remember, they hated each other.  A childhood bond breaking awfully when Spot’s dad got a decent job and moved their family to the other side of town, instilling a jarring pretentiousness within Spot and damaging his friendship with Race.  

So, although the hateful feelings had ceased, the snide remarks and nasty sneers remained ever present when they were in public.  It was a painful mask to wear, biting names at each other and digging into known insecurities for the sake of their act.  It worked, though, because no one suspected a thing.

Race ducked his head down, pressing a bruising kiss to Spot’s neck, allowing his teeth to graze the skin.  He began to suck a hickey into the sensitive area, but stopped when Spot nudged him away.

“Mm, the last one just faded,” he breathed, watching Race through lidded eyes.

Race just smiled, “All the more reason to leave another,” he kissed Spot briefly, reaching around to grasp Spot’s ass, squeezing it playfully, “gotta let everyone know you’re unavailable.”

Spot narrowed his eyes, though there was no hint of malice in them, “Fine, but if you’re gonna leave one, go lower.  Bumlets noticed last time.”

Race swallowed, alarm spreading through his veins, “Did he ask you anythin’?  What’d ya tell ‘im?”

“Relax,” Spot said, easily, playing with the curls at the nape of Race’s neck, sending a jolt down his spine, “Told ‘im I made out with Sarah Jacobs.”

Race’s eyes widened momentarily before he cracked a grin, a laugh forcing its way out of his stomach, “Sarah Jacobs?  That David kid’s sis?”

“That’s the one.”

Race snickered, “Did Bumlets buy it?”

Spot shrugged, “Guess so, he was off my ass after that.”

Race whistled, “Does Sarah know you two apparently made out?”

“I told her I needed a cover,” Spot said, looking mildly uncomfortable, “But I didn’t say what for.”

“Did she ask?”

Spot shook his head, “Just went with it.”

“Good friend,” Race said, nodding approvingly.  His eyes flicked down to Spot’s lips, “Now where were we?”

Spot laughed, leaning in to kiss him, “So eager.”

“Yeah well,” Race fisted Spot’s jacket, tearing it off his shoulders and making Spot gasp, “You’re irresistible.”

Race left their little escapade with Spot’s jacket still held loosely in his grip and a bounce in his step.  The sun was completely set by the time he ventured back to his neighborhood, wandering down the street freely until he came up to his house.  

“Where were ya?”

Race froze, the blood draining from his face as he turned to the side, shoving Spot’s jacket behind his back.  Seated on the rickety armchair that had always resided on the front porch was Race’s brother, Albert, arms crossed at his chest.  He wasn’t wearing a shirt and a pair of their other brother, Jack’s, old pajama pants hung casually on his hips.  It was obvious that he was about to go to bed.  

“And what did you just try to hide from me?” Albert pushed, raising his eyebrows and nodding to Race’s arm, which was still behind his back.

“Mind your own business,” Race snarled, a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

Albert studied him for a moment, his gaze landing on Race’s hair, “Why is your hair all fucked- oh my god,” his expression changed from one of skepticism to pure shock, “You’re hookin’ up with someone, ain’t ya?”

Race spluttered for a moment, feeling his blush deepen, “No,” he sounded entirely unconvincing.

Albert smiled, hopping up with way too much fervor for Race’s liking, “You are! Who is she?”

Race grit his teeth, eyes shifting away from Albert.  He couldn’t lie to him- he’d never been able to- but he couldn’t tell the truth either.

“No one,” he mumbled, “‘M goin’ ta bed.”

He hurried inside, briefly glancing down the hallway to where he could see Jack reading on their ratty sofa, before bounding up the stairs.  He slammed his bedroom door, locking it behind him and slumping down on his matress, kicking off his shoes along the way.  He wriggled out of his jacket and jeans and pulled his blankets up to his chest, tucking Spot’s jacket under his head, breathing in the comforting and familiar smell.  

He allowed it to lull him to sleep, calming his nerves as he was pulled under.

XXX

“Higgins, where’d ya get those jeans?”  Race set his jaw, fighting the urge to smile as Spot’s voice entered his auditory, “Did your mother buy them for you?  Oh wait,” Spot clicked his tongue, “Guess she can’t now that she’s what, six feet under?  If you could even afford to get her properly buried.”

Race turned towards him, noting the apologetic undertone in his voice, “Nah, got them from your parent’s closet when I was visiting your mom last week,” he leaned against his locker, “I must say, she’s really brilliant when she’s-”

Spot lunged forward, slamming him against the locker and biting his lip to keep from laughing, “Don’t you dare speak about my mother like that, Higgins,” he growled.  Race had to give him credit, his acting was brilliant.  

“Or what?” Race countered, reluctantly shoving him back and taking note of the small crowd that had circled around them.  Spot pretended to flounder for a moment and Race took the opportunity, “You Socs are honest pussies when it comes to fights,” he scoffed, “Suck my dick, Conlon.”

Spot’s eyes flashed and he grabbed Race’s ear, yanking him down to his level and whispering, “Better meet me out behind the school after last period,” he pulled away, raising his voice once more, “And that’s a promise, Higgins,” the crowd around them hooted, obviously expecting some sort of threat to be fulfilled, “Watch your back.”

Race watched him leave with his posse, letting his guard down.  Faux fights with Spot always instilled some sort of excitement in him, the lie a fast wave to ride.

The school day crept by painfully.  Race sat restlessly in his classes, bouncing his leg vigorously as he watched the clock tick excruciatingly slow.  He was out of his seat, backpack slung haphazardly on his back the moment the bell rang, He walked faster than strictly necessary to the back of the school, where Spot was already waiting.  A cigarette hung lazily from his lips and he looked up as Race approached, plucking it from his mouth and holding it out in a silent offer.

Race took it blindly, pulling a deep drag before chucking it to the ground and stepping on it as he moved forward, pinning Spot to the wall and pressing their mouths together.  The taste of the cigarette melded between them, adding a certain heat to their already intense session.  Spot gasped against his lips, whining when Race reached down, unzipping his fly and unbuttoning his khakis.  

“Aye, Conlon, there you-”

Spot drove Race away from him, fumbling to fix his pants as Hotshot approached, looking both confused and furious.

“What, are you two fucking or something?” He barked, rounding on Spot, “Thought you wanted nothing to do with this Greaser scum.”

Spot seemed to regain his composure, “I don’t,” he said, voice low, “He came onto me, I was just about to beat the shit out of his faggot ass.”

Race winced, mentally forcing himself to remember Spot was pretending.

Hotshot frowned, nose scrunched in disgust, “Yeah?  Kinda looked like you were enjoying it.”

Spot rolled his eyes, attempting to shoulder past Hotshot, “Whatever.”

Hotshot grabbed his bicep, holding him in place, “You two really wanna prove your little rendezvous wasn’t what it looked like? Be at the lot tonight at sundown.  Shouldn’t matter what happens if these little fairy flings are fake.”

Hotshot threw Spot to the ground, spitting next to him before leaving.  Race watched him go, making sure he was out of sight before reaching down a hand to help Spot up.  Spot shook his head, his chest heaving as he hoisted himself to his feet.

“We could run,” Race said, “Leave before tonight.”  He was trembling, certain that his face matched Spot’s pale expression.

Spot looked like he was having some sort of aneurysm as he backed away, “No, I, uh-” he sounded breathless, scared, “I gotta go, I’ll see you...tonight, yeah, uh.  Be there,” he finally looked at Race, “Please.”

Race shook his head, dumbfounded, “Spot, we don’t have ta-”

But Spot was gone, footsteps echoing as he ran in the opposite direction.

XXX

Race sat on his mattress, nausea turning in his stomach as he watched the sky change through his window.  There was probably homework he could be doing, but what did it matter if he was just going to be killed this evening.  Rumbles were unpredictable; a nasty throttle of blood and animosity.  It was rare that anyone actually died, but that didn’t stop the worst possible outcome from crawling into his brain.

These things were huge, large sums of both sides turning up for each one.  Race usually liked them to a degree, finding the exhilarating atmosphere entertaining, but that was when he wasn’t the center of the conflict.  Now, it was just sickening.

“Aye, if you’re coming to the rumble, we should get goin’ now.”  Jack peeked his head into his room.  

Race forced himself to look at his older brother, trying to smile as convincingly as he could.  He hadn’t told Jack and Albert that he was a key contender in the rumble, just that there was one.  Though, in hindsight, he should’ve refrained from talking about it at all- not that it would have stopped them from finding out.  Word gets around fast.

“Yeah, uh, yeah,” Race said, clearing his throat and scooting forward to pull on his shoes, “Al comin?”

“You know the kid,” Jack leaned against his doorframe, holding out Race’s jacket for him, “Could never pass up the chance ta watch a fight.”

Race choked out a laugh, though it sounded more like a whimper, “Yeah,” he flinched as his voice cracked.

Albert was already waiting at the bottom of the stairs, shoes tied and jean jacket on, “C’mon guys, the sun’s settin’!” he exclaimed, reaching out and pulling Race out the door, “It’s gonna start soon.”

With each step Race took towards the lot, it felt like he was approaching his doom.  He wanted nothing more than to curl up with Spot and find comfort in their closeness, but he couldn’t have that now.  Besides, Spot was clearly mortified, there was no way he was up for cuddling right now.

The mass of people in the lot was visible even from a distance, already divided seamlessly into two sides.  The three boys approached, naturally fusing into the side that housed the Greasers, blending in with the hoard of rowdy looking boys.  Race’s eyes scanned the other group, immediately finding Spot at the head of the crowd, clad in his favorite red sweater.  He was jeering at someone from the Greasers, though Race could sense the apprehension emanating from him.  

He tried to blend in, staying purposefully towards the back, but it was no use.  He made piercing eye contact with Hotshot and felt the blood drain from his face as the Soc’s face morphed into one of triumph.  He shoved his way to the middle of the split and held his fingers to his mouth, whistling loudly enough to gain everyone’s attention.  Race looked back at Spot, who was staring at Hotshot, lips parted slightly.  

“We’re gathered here this fine evening,” Hotshot began, his tone innocent, but eyes fiery, “Because I had the pleasure of witnessing something extraordinary,” he had everyone’s apt attention now, “See, I was walking after school, looking for our favorite shorty here,” he yanked Spot out of the crowd and Spot grimaced, looking like he wanted to disappear, “When I found him behind the school,” he paused for affect, “Pants unbuttoned and tongue down the throat of-” Murmurs were already rippling through the crowd, “Racetrack fucking Higgins.”

Race shut his eyes as he felt every head turn towards him.  Somewhere to his left, he could hear Albert mumble, ‘what the fuck’, along with a few confused hoots from other people.  He wanted to run.  He wanted to grab Spot and skip town and pretend that none of this was happening- that they were okay.  But his feet were glued to the spot.

“Now, I’m sure it was a simple misunderstanding,” Hotshot spoke again, “Seeing as it is common knowledge that these two cannot stand each other,” Race gasped as someone pushed him to the middle, “I’m sure this little debacle can be cleared up.”

Race opened his eyes, sucking in a breath when he realized how close he was to Hotshot and Spot.

“You two hate each other, yes?” Hotshot hissed, leaning in close to him.

Race nodded vigorously.

“Prove it, then,” Hotshot jabbed, producing a switchblade from his back pocket, “Stab him.”

Race choked, “Stab Spot?  You want me to stab your best friend?”

Hotshot laughed, “He’s not my best friend,” he said, “Not as long as he’s okay with kissing on other men,” he pressed the knife into Race’s hand, “Now go.”

Race stared at the blade, turning it over in shaking hands before flipping it open.  He could feel the crowd watching him with baited breath and he spared a glance at Spot, who was watching him with desperation written on his face.  Race focused his eyes, making a split second decision.

He lunged forward, tackling Spot away from Hotshot and pinning him to the ground, driving his knee into his side.  He flipped open the knife and held it between them, watching as Spot’s expression calmed.

“I love you,” Spot murmured, breaths evening out, “Do what you have to, it’s okay.”

Race drank in his expression, bathing in the warmth of his rich brown eyes and cherishing the beauty in his hard features.

“I love you, too,” He muttered back, “I’m sorry.”

He took a deep breath, plunging the blade into his own stomach.

-

nnng yeah im gonna write a pt 2 dw dw we’re not jus leavin it there

thanks for reading, chiefs

hmu to be added to my tag

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