#the way he sacrificed his already hurt shoulder just so she could nap in peace 😭

[lastofthe20thcenturygirls]

the plot twist at the end of episode 2 was like the plot twist that was yuri!!! on ice episode 10

[ragingpancake]

The Road to Nowhere Leads to Me

Summary: Following the events of The Siege, John just wants to get some sleep. Rodney has something to say first though. It’s over. He doesn’t delude himself into thinking that the peace will last because at the end of the day, they’re still vastly outnumbered by the Wraith, but in this moment, after 3 days, it’s over. Atlantis has taken damage; he can feel her hurt thrumming through his veins and he tries to tell Elizabeth as much but he can see that she’s just as worn out as the rest of them. “We already have back up teams on their way back from the mainland,” she assures him. Those that they’d evacuated out of the city for their own safety. “We’ll have them start seeing to the repairs.” She rests a hand on his shoulder. “You did good, John,” she says and she squeezes a little bit. “Could have done without the attempted suicide mission, but—” he doesn’t twitch at the mention of his own near death, but he does miss the rest of what she’s saying. “John?” He blinks, her face coming back into focus. “Go get some rest. You’ve earned it.” How can he argue with that?

--- It’s not until he gets back to his quarters that he realizes what a toll that last few days have actually taken on him. He doesn’t remember the last time he slept, when any of them slept, and now that he’s in the sanctuary of his own room, he realizes just how stiff his muscles have gone from holding himself so rigid, from remaining a pillar of strength, no matter his own fears. And he had been afraid. He had been, because for the first time since his mom died, he had a family now and he’s not stupid enough to not realize just how close he’d come to almost losing them all. John kicks off his boots and he heads over to the bed, dropping down on the edge of it. He knows he should shower, wash some of the grime, the stench of battle and death, away but now that he’s down, he’s not sure he has the strength to get up again. So of course there’s a loud, insistent knock on his door. He thinks for a moment about ignoring it but his sense of duty won’t allow it and so even though it takes every bit of the last of his reserves, he pushes himself to his feet and makes his way across the room to palm the door open. “McKay,” he greets and the other fidgets uncomfortably, fingers clenching and unclenching in a way that John knows is mostly involuntary and he’d much rather focus on that than the almost angry look on Rodney’s face. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” “Shut up,” Rodney snaps and he shoulders himself into John’s room, pacing from one end to the other. John turns to him, the door sliding closed behind him. “Oh yeah, of course, c’mon in,” he says sarcastically and he’s too tired for this. He’s so tiredthat he can’t think straight and that’s never a good thing, especially when McKay is around. John needs to be sharp, he needs to be focused. “What do you want, Rodney?” For a moment, Rodney says nothing at all. He just continues his pacing until finally, he stops, and John knows that look too; it’s the one Rodney wears when he finally works out whatever problem he’s attempting to solve, usually under duress. “I thought you died,” he says finally. “You, you, you just got up and you ran off and I watched that nuke blow. Do you have any idea what that was like?” “Can we do this later?” John asks uncomfortably. He’s not ready for this conversation. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be ready, though he’s certain there’s going to be some ordered sessions with Heightmeyer once things settle down, to discuss his apparently overwhelming, self-sacrificing need to save the day. He’s got a headache just thinking about it. “No, we cannot do this later!” Rodney says, hands clenched into fists at his sides. “What if there hadn’t been a ‘later’, Major? If Caldwell had showed up a single second later than he did--.” “But he didn’t, okay? He didn’t. I’m here, and I’m fine and--.” He doesn’t get a chance to finish because all of a sudden, Rodney is on him, shoving him back against the wall and he’s about to ask just what the fuckRodney thinks he’s doing when all of a sudden there are lips pressing against his and—oh. Okay. This is unexpected. He doesn’t fight it, he lets Rodney press into him until finally, finally, he breaks away with what almost sounds like a quiet whimper. “Rodney…” “It, it, it occurred to me, once you’d run off with nothing more than a so long, Rodney,” John winces at that, “that I couldn’t continue to just… pretend that I don’t.. feel something for you.” “What do you mean?” “I care about you, Major—John,” he corrects himself. “And that’s not easy for a person like me to admit, especially to you, because, because I’m me and you’re you, but we’re in the middle of a war. One that is not likely to end well, and I just—you do these stupid things like throwing yourself into harm’s way and you almost died and if you had and I’d never told you, well, I don’t know that I would have been able to forgive myself. For not, you know, trying.” This is a lot to take in. “For not trying to what?” “To, to, you know, tell you that you’re not as dispensable as you seem to think you are. That you mean

something to someone… to, to me.” “Rodney--.” “And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way!” Rodney continues, steamrolling right over him and he’s back to pacing again. It’s making John a little dizzy, but he thinks he owes Rodney this, to hear him out. “I don’t expect things to change or, or, or for you to feel the same way but I had to tell you. I hope… I hope you understand.” He stops then and turns to face John, chin tipped up stubbornly. “So, now that I’ve… thoroughly embarrassed myself, I’ll just be,” he gestures vaguely to the door. “I’m sorry, Rodney,” John says and Rodney’s face falls so quickly that even someone as slow at this kind of thing as John is, he knows he immediately said the wrong thing. “No, no! Not for, not because I don’t… I just--.” He lets out a frustrated growl before he grabs Rodney by the front of his shirt and pulls him in so that he can kiss him, actually kiss him sometime. When they break apart, John murmurs gently against him, “I’m sorry that I didn’t do that sooner,” he clarifies. “Wait, so you…?” “Yeah, Rodney. I do.” “Oh thank God,” and Rodney slumps against him then, clearly out of steam, and it’s all John can do to hold him upright. “Alright, alright,” John says and he somehow manages to manhandle Rodney over to the bed before he crouches down to help him take his shoes off. “I think there’s probably a lot we’re gonna have to figure out from here, but first… how about a nap?” “That’s the second best thing I’ve heard all day.” And John laughs at that. “Yeah. Me too, buddy.” --- The beds in Atlantis were not made for two people; especially not two grown ass men, but as they lay there, pressed up against one another, Rodney already snoring quietly, John feels something shift slightly inside of him. He’s gone on a lot of suicide missions and there are always so many thoughts, so many feelings that him afterward, but not quite like this. He would put his life on the line for anyone who needed him to, without a moment’s hesitation (or a real goodbye), but for the first time… Well, he’s never been quite so glad that someone had been there to pull his ass out of the fire as he was now. Maybe he’ll send Colonel Caldwell a fruit basket. And it’s with that thought that he turns onto his side, draping one arm over Rodney’s middle as he noses his face against the other’s neck and promptly, thankfully, falls asleep.

[olicitysecretsanta]

Make it Home (I’m still here)

A/N: This fic is a gift for @lupin72 (Em)

Wanted hurt/comfort or angst with a happy ending. I’ve never written anything like this so here’s my take on it. I tried to make it close to canon so I did wait until last minute to write this. I added some scenes that I hope you will like and warm your heart as it did mine while I wrote this.

On a more personal note, Arrow has given me so much. I’ve always loved writing mostly essays but before this show I had never encountered fanfics. Never would’ve thought I’d be here writing my own and sharing it. It’s been very awesome to be a part of something so amazing as is the Olicity gift exchange.

I look forward to reading all the works. I hope you enjoy.

Long Live OLICITY ❤️!

-Annie ( @sparklesannie )

Heroes don’t always make it home and I never forget that.

The very same words Felicity once said to her step-son now echoed heavily in her heart.

It’s been about a month since she’d tracked Oliver in earth-2 and sent John to help him out. John promised to get her husband back. He’d promised, but a month has passed and there’s still no sign of either of them. Her hope begins to dim. 

*****

A couple of months later John finally shows up to the cabin. Felicity had just put Mia down for nap so she closes the door to Mia’s bedroom and guides them to sit down in the living room.

“Oliver wanted you to get William back so that he and Mia can grow up together.”

“Wanted?” She whispers as her eyes well up with tears. It’s surprising she still can considering how much she’s cried since Oliver left, she thought she’d dried up by now. “John, where is he? Where‘s Oliver?”

She had prepared herself for the fact that Oliver might not comeback this time. But she still hoped, he had survived so much the man seemed practically immortal.

“Felicity. I’m so sorry I failed him and you and Mia.”

“Where’s Oliver? What happened?”

“I don’t—“ John takes a deep breath before staring again. “There was this other monitor—”

“The anti monitor, yeah, I know about that son of a bitch. Go on.”

“Well we were traveling from earth to earth trying to save everyone. And Oliver he was the last one out from earth 38. He fought until his last breath…”

“Just say it John.”

“I’m so sorry Felicity. We tried to get him back— hell we even traveled to another earth and threw him in the Lazarus pit. But ultimately he sacrificed himself to create a whole new universe.”

A new universe.

“Well maybe he’s lost somewhere. I bet I can track him!” Felicity jumps up from the couch and runs over to her secret room.

She’s already typing when she hears John come up behind her. She types furiously, with purpose. “Any changes between this universe and the one before? I need to know it might help us find Oliver.” She asks before John can try to stop her efforts of finding her husband.

“Well apparently I have not one but two kids!”

“Baby Sara and JJ. Did you not have kids?”

“Well yeah but just one.” He hesitates a moment before adding, “I don’t know if I should even tell you this but your kids from the future popped up for a little bit. They’re wonderful people.”

Felicity swivels back on her chair to face a smiling John. “My kids? Time travelled? And I missed this?!”

“Oliver wanted to tell you but we didn’t know how William and Mia being here would affect the timeline—time traveling is apparently very complicated.”

“Oh. Right. Ripples. Yeah don’t want those. You know that’s how Barry fracked up the timeline and left you with just one kid.” She joked. But she couldn’t hide the fact that she was disappointed on missing meeting her kids from the future. “Hold on where was Lucas? Did they talk about me? Will I be a good mom?”

“You did an amazing job of raising two wonderful—Wait what? Did you say Lucas?”

“I might have forgot to tell you…I’m eight weeks pregnant.”

“And you already decided it’s a boy?” He asked clearly amused but excited by the unexpected news.

“I feel it in my bones, John. I’m having a boy.”

—————

3 months later

I’m still here. -O

There’s a neon green post it with what she swears to be Oliver’s handwriting on their wedding picture she keeps on her bedside table.

It couldn’t be. Could it?

John said Oliver died.

There was no way it was Oliver. Somebody had to be messing with her.

Maybe it was the Monitor, he’d promised that he’d reunite them again but how could he now that Oliver was dead?

Nothing made sense to Felicity anymore.

——————

Everyone made it to Oliver’s memorial service. His mother, both of his sisters Thea and Emiko, and William.

Felicity had been keeping in touch with William since Oliver disappeared. She’d told him about his little sister and he was eager to meet her.

Felicity would never forget that day.

How surprised he was to see her belly as it just started to show. How William wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held to her tightly. How happy he was carrying his baby sister in his arms. And the sadness in his eyes when he asked “Dad’s not coming back is he?”

She cried her heart out. She really tried not to but she couldn’t keep her emotions in check. “I’m sorry kiddo. I don’t think so. But I really want you to come back home. I— Your father and I wanted you and Mia to grow up together.”

William didn’t say anything right away but she could see his eyes welled up with tears. He reached into his pocket with his right hand while balancing his sister on his left arm. “I actually wanted to.” He unfolded his hand to give something to her.

As soon as it hit her hand she knew what it was. The hozen.

Felicity gripped the hozen tightly inside her coat pocket. She would never get used to not having her husband by her side, even more so now with this pregnancy.

She kept hoping that one day they would reconnect. That the Monitor would turn up again to reunite her with Oliver.

———————

3 months later

Giving birth is not easy. Not even the second time around. Especially when Felicity can’t hold on to Oliver’s hand. This time she holds onto Lyla’s. Thea and Moira wanted to be in the delivery room but the reminder that there was a missing Queen, the most important one, was too much for Felicity. So Lyla kicked them out, nicely of course.

After six hours of labor Lucas Jonas Queen finally makes his entrance to the world.

John’s face is priceless once he meets Lucas and Felicity remarks, “Told you it was a boy!”

————-

A year later on her birthday Felicity finds a letter on Oliver’s side of the bed. She hasn’t had the heart to sleep on his side. The bed seems too big and while Mia and Lucas both sleep with her on it, it always feels a little cold without Oliver’s presence.

Happy birthday.

I’ll be watching over you and our kids.

-O

That’s not the first or the last note Felicity receives through the years. After the first five she starts to get her hopes back up. There’s something about the little notes that make her feel hopeful again.

Even though she knows better she can’t help but believe that it’s her Oliver.

Keep me in your heart.

Love, Oliver.

She always gets that one on Mia’s birthday.

On William’s it reads: William, I love you. Live.

P.S. I know.

And on Lucas’ birthday it reads: He is so perfect. My Beautiful boy.

On their anniversary she gets a rose with a note that reads: You will always be the best part of me for the rest of my life.

Oh how she wishes it were true.

But at least Felicity gets the chance to be there for their kids. She will tell them about the sacrifices their father made so that they could live. She would protect them, love them, teach them how to be a hero in the light and most importantly she would make sure they know their father loved them, even if he didn’t know they existed.

Oliver had created a whole new universe that required the ultimate sacrifice. The ultimate act of heroism. Felicity couldn’t even be mad at Oliver she would always be grateful, he saved not only the city but the whole damn multiverse.

It’s like she once told William, Oliver makes sacrifices so they have to make theirs. That’s what makes—made their love deeper than other kinds of love.

And even if she sometimes felt alone and overwhelmed she could always look around and find pieces of Oliver all over. Moira, Thea, Tommy, now she had the chance to really get to know them and count on them as family just like Oliver would’ve if they had survived in the alternate timeline.

——————

2040

A lot has happened in the last 20 years.

Living off the grid was hard. But not as hard as having to raise Mia and Lucas by herself. William helped from time to time but once he left for college she was, again, on her own.

Since Felicity had managed to get William back he had been sad that his father wasn’t in the picture anymore, but at least he was quite excited and happy to have a sister and a baby brother. And now he was on his way to be a successful CEO of his very own tech empire.

Mia was graduating college and soon hopefully if she said yes, getting engaged. JJ was the perfect boyfriend, much like Oliver was to her, her better half.

Not far behind was Lucas who halfway through college decided to drop out and focus on developing a nonprofit community outreach program.

The kids were happy and thriving. Her job was done. They didn’t need her anymore. Still Felicity hoped that one of them would take over at Smoak Technologies. It was getting old for her, she loved her job and the amazing contributions they were making in the medical field but she really just wanted some peace and quiet now.

Shortly after Lucas turned one Felicity decided it was time to go back to Starling City.

She never would’ve thought that she’d be living with Moira, Thea and Roy at the Queen mansion, but there was room to grow there. Plus the kids would get to know their family, so they did. Lucas was Thea and Roy’s favorite—they’d deny any form of favoritism but it was crystal clear.

—————————-

On May 14, 2040 Felicity summons her kids to the mansion, she had to tell them that it was time for her to go. They understood and of course they were sad but it’s like she pointed out to them, she’s not dying or in any pain, they’re not losing their mother. She’s just reuniting with Oliver.

So they said their heartfelt goodbyes, shared some last minute words of wisdom. She told them that she’d be watching over them and waiting for them from beyond. She made sure to warn them about coming over to the other side too soon.

William thanked her for being a wonderful mother and for always being patient with him. Mia cried her eyes out and said she’d keep both her parents in her heart. Lucas was being eerily quiet about it. He didn’t say much just hugged his mom and kissed her forehead.

Wherever Oliver was he was waiting for her and she felt it was time to go. So she wasn’t surprised when The Monitor appeared by her side while she talked to Oliver’s grave in the backyard of the mansion.

“Ms. Smoak, are you ready? Where I’m taking you there is no return.”

Felicity fiddled with the hozen in her hand and looked up, a soft smile on her face. “I have waited a very long time to see him. I’m ready.”

“Follow me.” The Monitor instructs as he escorts her back inside and leads her to the foyer. “Oliver requested that I bring you from this specific location. Must have some special meaning.”

Felicity looks around and realizes just exactly where she is and what day it is. On May 14, 2013 she stood here on this very same place with Oliver.

“You need to stay here.”

“What? Why? You can’t just ask me—”

“I’m not asking. I will come and get you when this is all over.”

“No!”

“Felicity”

“No. Not unless you tell me why.”

“Because I need you to be safe.”

“But I don’t want to be safe. I wanna be with you, and the others, unsafe.”

“I can’t let that happen.”

“Oliver. You’re not making any sense.”

“Slade took Laurel because he wants to kill the woman I love.”

“I know. So?”

“So he took the wrong woman.”

“Oh?”

“I love you. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

Felicity is still smiling when the portal finally opens. She walks through and suddenly she’s back in their Ivy Town home. A fire is crackling in the living room fire place, on the mantel are displayed the pictures from their trip over the summer. They looked so happy.

“Oliver?”

“In the kitchen!”

She whips around so fast her ponytail smacks her in the face. There in the middle of the kitchen stands a sweaty Oliver making omelettes. She doesn’t even try to pace herself. Felicity runs full speed at him and jumps into his arms.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” He smiles down at her and gently grabs her chin to angle her head and press his lips to hers. “I’m glad you’re finally home.”

This is where they spend their eternal life. Reliving their best moments as a couple, blissfully in Ivy Town.

Home.

The end.

[midnightbluemoon]

Daniel And David Both Liking Counselor You Headcannon! (Camp Camp) (Probably Will End With David)

-So listen.

-David caught feelings like two days before Daniel came to Camp.

-So he didn’t really have the time to figure out how to ask you on a date.

-So then Daniel shows up.

-Big oof for David.

-Because as soon as Daniel shows up, he clearly seems attached to you.

-Daniel thinks your amazing.

-Like, other then his cult and religious beliefs, best thing ever.

-Seriously though.

-He is immediately wherever you are.

-You think it’s coincidence.

-Or that he’s nervous in a new place.

-So you offer to take him on a tour, just the two of you.

-Which kills David.

-But is a dream come fricking true for Daniel.

-The tour goes really nicely.

-Daniel seems to take actual notice in what you have to say.

-Which is a nice feeling.

-David follows you guys.

-Not in a creepy stalker way though, to be clear.

-He is legitimately worried that Daniel might do something sketchy.

-And wouldn’t it be kinda awesome if he was there to be the one to save the day?

- So you guys get back to camp.

-And since Gwen left when Daniel showed up

-And you and Daniel went on a tour

-And for some reason David wasn’t there

-The kids were running rampant.

-Daniel noticed your distress. 

-So did David, actually

-But there’s no good way to pop out of the bushes behind someone supportively.

-So he went around through the cabin.

-When he came back, lo and behold

-There was Daniel, helping you deal with the kids.

-And his hand was on your shoulder.

-Which almost broke David right there.

-It’s the little things, you know?

-So David come up and hugs you.

-Like, out of the blue.

-And really tight.

-But you weren’t complaining.

-Cuz, I mean 

-It’s David.

-He would totally stop if you asked him to.

-So then Daniel comes up on your other side.

-And he’s hugging you too.

-The camp is still half chaos.

-But no way can Daniel let David show him up.

-So after a while, you mention that all of you still have to take care of the rest of the kids

-Daniel and David agree.

-But although  

-David lets go completely, 

-Daniel starts holding your hand while you go deal with everything.

-So David grabs your other hand

-And you don’t have the heart to tell either of them to let go.

-Daniel noticed how stressed you were about the kids

-And he already had a plan to sacrifice them

-So wouldn’t that be kind of a gift to you too?

-Peace and quiet

-No responsibilities

-No David coming up from out of nowhere and hugging you because what the heck

-So you guys get everything sorted out.

-And then Daniel starts chatting you up.

-So you guys are going to the Mess Hall.

-And David is semi-crushed.

-And while Max walks by, he says

-”If you don’t learn to talk, your going to lose her/him/them.”

-And David’s just like Oh no he’s right.

-So anyways.

-Daniel is trying to figure out what you like/dislike/any hobbies you may have

-So that he can connect with you on them

-For example, say you like musicals.

-Suddenly he loves musicals

-Whichever ones you mentioned, in particular coincidentally.

-So whatever you mention, after everyone goes to bed, he starts learning about all of them.

- So the next morning he’s flaunting his knowledge about your favourite subjects.

-Which is kind of amazing for you to have someone with shared interests that seems to care about your opinions.

-Sucks for David though

-Cuz now you and David are practically joined at the hip.

-It’s around this time when you first notice the purification sauna.

-You didn’t question it that much

-Because you didn’t have any reason to.

-You start noticing campers being creepily fanatically loyal later that day.

-Which you did question

-extensively. 

-Because David had tried EVERYTHING with those kids

-And suddenly they love Daniel

-Which is kind of a red flag.

-You didn’t want to hurt Daniel’s feelings.

-But you were sure that he would understand your concerns.

-David hadn’t noticed that much.

-He was too busy moping.

-Daniel hadn’t actually planned on sacrificing you or purifying you btw.

-Just everybody else.

-Because having the person you love as a mindless yes zombie is no fun.

-But he kind of panicked when you asked about the kids.

-And he shoved you into the sauna. 

-Which he felt kind of sad about.

-He still wasn’t gonna sacrifice you though.

-But having you be a little bit less nosy was nice.

-And it was also pretty awesome to have you draped over him.

-And he could hug you as much as he wanted.

-So then when he heard David coming, he kissed you.

-The thing is, you might not even have stopped him from kissing you if you hadn’t been purified.

-Just maybe not in front of a bunch of campers.

-And David.

-And that was when David decided that Daniel had to go.

-Well also Max tipped him off before getting turned into a yes zombie himself.

-And then the whole Better Than You thing happened.

-And you were right with Daniel the whole time.

-Which made David super mad.

-So then when the effects started wearing off

-Because Daniel hadn’t planned for an argument

-Only just enough time for sacrificing

-And a dash more time to flaunt his amazingness to you

-Your head felt like it was swimming through tapioca.

-You staggered a little.

-So Daniel put his arm around you.

-And in your drugged confused state, you cuddled into him.

-What can I say? He was the only thing keeping you balanced.

-And you were also still semi drugged to love him.

-But then by the time Daniel slipped up and got sent to the hospital you were pretty much fine.

-But David made you go take a nap anyways.

-He wanted to be 100% sure whatever that was was out of your system.

-You guys didn’t really talk about what happened with Daniel.

-Neither of you really wanted to think about it.

-Although David couldn’t think of much else.

-He wanted to ask you if you actually loved Daniel

-But he could tell you didn’t want to discuss it.

-So he didn’t.

-You just felt betrayed.

-But things were pretty platonic between you and David.

-Both Gwen and Max were trying to help him ask you out

-But he was worried you were going to say no.

-And then Bonquisha happened.

-He had tried to move on and date someone else.

-Which had hurt you a lot.

-You didn't know why it hurt so much

-But it hurt a lot.

-But you acted like you were happy for them.

-Because Gwen told you.

-She thought it might make you jealous

-Which would force something to happen.

-But it didn’t.

-It just made you sad.

-And when Bonquisha broke up with him, he was really torn up about it.

-You thought it was because of the breakup.

-But it wasn’t.

-It was more about how he couldn’t keep anybody.

-Which wasn’t great for his self esteem.

-Neither was the fact that the two of you weren’t exactly talking.

-You and Bonquisha had gotten into a fight about the fact that you were 110% sure that she was cheating because you saw her kissing somebody else and she denied everything.

-And David defended her.

-Mainly because he just didn’t want it to be true.

-Which led to you two fighting.

-With words.

-In the end you just walked away.

-Which hurt a lot more than being yelled at, for David.

-You had spoke to him, but for nothing more than camp activities.

-Like “Hey David, could you pass the fire extinguisher.”

-And he’d pass it over

-And then conversation over.

-Max was annoyed.

-Because he was sure if David ever got up the nerve to apologize to you, and ask you out you would say yes.

-And he was right.

-After a lot of moping on David’s part, basically every camper knew what was going on.

-So they destroyed the blender in the kitchen.

-And made sure you were the one to go out to town to buy a new one.

-And the moment you were gone, everyone started taking turns giving him pep talks.

-And he got a looooooot of conflicting advice.

-Like 

-”Be sincere.”

-”Act cool, like you don’t really care.”

-”Be dramatic!”

-”Be clear. We don’t want any misunderstandings.”

-Yeah, it was a lot.

-So when you got back he tried to do everything at once.

-Which resulted in him having fallen on the ground.

-With a broken nose.

-You were a little less mad now.

-Because that was hilarious.

-And you could tell he had really tried.

-So you took him back to the Counselors Cabin.

- And administered as much first aid as you knew how.

-And he apologized again.

-Except as him.

-And you forgave him, obviously.

-Because he was your friend.

-After that everything went back to normalish.

-Max was annoyed he didn’t take the perfect opportunity to confess.

-But he wasn’t teary now, which was an improvement.

-Everything was purely platonic for the next while.

-But then Arrival Of The Torso Takers.

-You hadn’t been sure if anything was off.

-David had been touchier than usual.

-More hugs, more arm around shoulder, e.t.c.

-By this time you were pretty sure you had a crush on David.

-So you didn’t mind.

-But it also reminded you a little of Daniel.

-And then when David asked you out, you said yes.

-You were really excited.

-So was Gwen actually.

- You know who wasn’t?

-Max.

-He had been watching for a while. 

-And he did feel a little bad.

-He didn’t want to ruin your relationship.

-Except he also thought you deserved to know that your boyfriend was an alien.

- So he told you his suspicions.

-You agreed that David was off.

-You also thought it was a little fantastical.

-But you hadn’t noticed that Daniel was a cult leader.

-So you thought you should trust Max.

-Until he came back to you and said everything was probably fine.

-You were surprised.

-But he seemed totally normal.

-So you agreed.

-Until he came running by you about 10 minutes later.

-He grabbed you by the wrist and said Daniel was coming.

-So you both ran.

-You heard his voice, and it sent shivers down your spine.

-Calling for you to come back, saying he loved you......

-It was absolutely terrifying. 

-You had no idea where Max was going, but you wanted to save your breath for running instead of asking questions.

-Then he dragged you into a bomb shelter.

-And there was David.

-He looked like he’d been crying a lot.

-He was tied up in front of a bunch of screens playing certain parts of what was happening all over camp.

-You and Max ran over, and started untying him.

-Literally though,as soon as David was untied, Daniel p I c k e d y o u u p and put his arms around you, in a semi threatening way.

-What happened next was surprising though.

-David jumped on top of Daniel, and started attacking him.

-You just looked a Max, and he gave you a ‘what am I supposed to do?’ face.

-You guys left Daniel in the bunker.

-You felt kind of bad, but not really.

-He had been keeping David there for god knows how long.

-So when you went to hug David, he kissed you.

-Max was hooting, and yelling “FINALLY!”

-When David leaned back he apologized a lot.

-“I-I’m sorry-I should’ve asked-”

-You told him it was definitely fine.

-And you guys started dating.

-Even Max thought you guys were cute.

-And everything was sunshine and daisies.

-Until the Woodscouts, with Daniel as their new leader took control of Camp Campbell.

-Daniel took you away from the rest of the group, and started scolding you.

-Literally scolding you.

-About leaving with David.

-But then he said he forgave you, and so did Xemüg.

-And then he put his arm around you in a fiercely protective way, and marched right back out in front of everybody.

-And he was giving David this smug look, like ‘look what I can do and you can’t stop me’.

-You tried to shake his arm off, but he had a death grip on you.

-He’s just flaunting you to everybody

-Because he does actually love you.

-He’s just not great at loving people without being evil.

-After he takes Nikki you beg him to brig her back.

-Because you care about your kids.

-But he isn’t budging.

-What’s been really hard for David is having to see  you trailing around behind Daniel, knowing that if either of you don’t comply, a camper could die.

-And the fact that Daniel keeps touching you.

-Nothing lewd, just kisses and hugging and arm around shoulder, e.t.c.

-Daniel has all the Woodscouts giving him complete control.

-So there always seems to be one watching you in the few moments you have alone. 

-And then there was when Daniel was about to sacrifice Nikki.

-She seemed so chill.

-You asked him to sacrifice you instead.

-But no way was he doing that.

-And then, right before he killed Nikki, what you assumed was supposed to be his god came rising up.

-After a lot of banter back and forth, Daniel was commanded to go to Antarctica.

-He nodded solemnly, and took you by the hand.

-But Xemug said something along the lines of

-”Wait! No! Thou shalt not take anyone with you!”

-Daniel looked back and forth between you and the obviously fake Xemug.

-He gives you a final kiss, and walks off.

-And then it’s all done.

-The Woodscouts other than Pikeman, plus David and Max come out from behind the giant puppet Xemug they made.

-You guys free Nikki.

-David hugs you for an eternity.

-And everything really does return to normal.

Until the next disaster.

[rahnesinclair]

sweet dreams are made of these

Summary:

The night after they retrieve the Unity Key all the Questers are thrown into each other's dreams.

Notes:

Trigger warning for mentions and depictions of Julia's assault.

@thewelterschallenge 

Crossposted on A03

Alice knew immediately this nightmare wasn’t hers.

She’d always been a fairly active dreamer and her dreams never necessarily had rhyme or reason, but this just FELT off. Different.

Magic.

She was in all white surrounded by mostly people she didn’t know and Kady. The faces of the strangers flickered every so often into Quentin, an older woman with curly hair, a tall handsome college aged man, and a red headed woman with brilliant blue eyes. She was chanting something and the words felt wrong, felt like something she should stop herself from saying.

Then a monster was among them and tearing them apart.

She screamed as they fell one by one and she slipped in the blood of the redhead, who was reaching out to her, glaring at her in accusation. Kady hid under a table and Alice scrambled away from the monster. She got a good look at his face.

 She remembered him. Reynard the Fox. He had almost killed Quentin when she was trapped inside him as a Niffin.

This was Julia’s nightmare.

The implications jumped into her head even as she tried to get away. She was having Julia’s nightmare, probably as some residual effects of the Unity Key. There was probably cross contamination happening all over tonight. Did that mean someone had her nightmare?

Reynard pounced.

She was face down in blood and Reynard was pinning her. Alice tried to calm down, remind herself it was just a nightmare. But the fear was real, adrenaline flowing in her brain. Telling herself to calm down didn’t help.

Julia was standing over them. Or, well, another Julia, because even though she was very much Alice if she looked at her hands she saw tattoos and dark nail polish. This new Julia stared down at her impassively, then smiled.

Other Julia, definitely Shadeless Julia, set alight the corpses around her just as pain ripped through Alice. It was muted, a shadow of reality, but it was still unpleasant. She grit her teeth. She was not being raped, this was a dream.

Poor Julia. Was this every night?

Alice could compartmentalize better than just about anybody she knew. This was still fucking awful.

“Julia,” she said shakily to the Shadeless Julia, and her voice came out in an unfamiliar rasp. “You can help me.”

“This has already happened,” Shadeless Julia said with a shrug. “You know that. We can’t change it.”

Alice balled her hands into fists. No, this was unacceptable. “This… isn’t fair!” She said, and suddenly the edges of the dream wavered, things felt less real. Shadeless Julia quirked an eyebrow.

This is fake. I can stop it.

“Enough!”

Reynard and the bodies vanished. Alice stood shakily, glaring at the other Julia. “She doesn’t deserve this.”

“… you aren’t her, are you?” Shadeless Julia asked, smiling a little. “She would never say that.”

“No, I’m not her. This is ridiculous. She shouldn’t be plagued by this shit. I get it, trauma doesn’t have reason, but she’s more than made up for any mistakes she’s made AND there is so much that isn’t even her fault!” Alice ranted.

She didn’t know Julia well. The strongest feeling she’d ever had toward the girl was jealousy, over her relationship with Q and later her having magic. But Julia had offered her magic up to Alice without hesitation, and had taken it back to save Alice’s life even when she was being a bitch about it.

“Let her have some peace. She needs it.”

Shadeless Julia chuckled a little. “It’s not up to me. She might hear you, though.”

And she vanished.

When Alice woke, she decided to do some research on rape trauma and dreams.

.

Penny was intimately familiar with dreams. But he didn’t dream in the Underworld, so when he found himself in one he knew something was off.

And that was definitely him dead on a bed, again. He groaned. “The fuck is this, now?”

It wasn’t his voice that left his lips.

“Kady?” He looked down. “Oh fuck.” This was Kady’s dream. Or rather, nightmare.

“Look what you’ve done, you stupid slut.” He looked to the side of the bed and scowled. Reynard the Fox was standing on the side, blood on his hands and lips. “You killed him.”

“Um, no, she fucking didn’t,” Penny snapped. “I died of magic radiation cancer.”

Reynard frowned. “He was poisoned to help you. He died because you couldn’t save him.”

“Fuck off.”

The dream wavered around the edges and then shifted. His dead body was now on the floor, in white. His throat was slashed. He was under a table and Julia and Reynard were standing. Julia turned to look at him, glaring. “You abandoned me. You’re a coward.”

Penny crawled his way out from under the table and stood up, towering over the dream Julia. “Julia may be a fucked up psycho bitch, but she wouldn’t say that to Kady. She loves Kady and she doesn’t blame her for any of this.”

Reynard and Julia’s faces flickered, blurred.

The dream tried again, shifting.

John Gains, clearly dead, stood in front of him. “You killed me.”

“No, YOU killed you,” Penny argued. “You used her. She’s gotta carry that guilt now, and fuck you for doing that to her!”

The dream seemed to be short circuiting. He’d never been in a dream that was falling apart at the seams. He folded his arms. He was not letting this dream get to him. It was a bunch of lies.

“This isn’t how this goes,” a voice said behind him. Reynard was back, as was Julia. He was even there now, pale with death. They were all glaring at him. “This is her dream, not yours.”

“Well it’s fucking wrong,” Penny said. “Reynard is gone, Julia is okay, Gains made his choices, and so did I. Kady is amazing and tried her best to help. She’s a fucking fighter, and you don’t get to tear her down.”

One by one, they blinked out.

Penny blinked back to the library, where he’d slumped over his cart. He sighed. Fucking magic.

.

Margo recognized this scene. The battle with the Beast at the Wellspring. She’d been there, but not at this angle. She was on the ground and her shoulder hurt. When she looked at it she saw her arm had nearly been cut clean off.

“Oh shit I’m Q.”

She struggled to her feet just as Alice burst into magical flame. She flinched away from the screams. They had haunted her for weeks after. “Not again.”

And then suddenly there she was, and there was Eliot and Julia, which definitely wasn’t right because she hadn’t been there.

Niffin Alice showed up and started to force choke each one of them.

“Hold up, this didn’t fucking happen.”

“Save us, Q! Fucking save us!” The dream version of her shrieked. Julia was lifted off the ground, her short little legs kicking. Eliot started bleeding from the nose.

“Yes, save them, Quentin, why don’t you,” Niffin Alice said with a giggle.

“Ugh, fucking STOP,” Margo groused. The scene froze. She shook her arm and the wound stopped hurt. She marched forward but the dream changed and she was standing in pajamas in some sort of hospital.

“Well this is fun,” Margo grumbled. “Quentin! Come and get me from your sad little dream now!”

“Talking to yourself, are you Quentin?” She turned and Penny was smirking at her. “And you wonder why you’re in here.”

“I’m in here because of some fucked up magic. I’m really taking a nap on the Muntjac.”

“Nonsense on nonsense.” Another voice. Julia and Alice, laughing at her. She rolled her eyes and turned again to find another her, Kady, Eliot, all of them laughing.

“Q, will you just stop!” The dream flickered.

“I died because of you,” Alice said.

“You abandoned me and I was raped by a trickster god,” Julia said.

“You can’t save anyone.”

“You’re pathetic.”

“You’re nothing.”

“Shut up!” Margo yelled. “Quentin for Christ sake, you’re a King of Fillory. Start thinking like one!”

The dream people stopped talking but they still glared. Margo rolled her eyes. “He’s a depressed little fucker, but has the biggest heart of anybody. He’d give his friends the last drop of magic. He’s grown so fucking much and you can’t take that from him, you assholes. He’s more than this! So you can all go off to your little corners in his head and leave him the fuck alone.”

“It’s not that simple,” dream Eliot said.

The dream flickered and she was standing with just Eliot in the middle of a sand pit, colored tiles surrounding them.

“This is-“ Margo stopped, a hand fluttered to her throat.

“Even here, it wasn’t that simple.”

A little boy ran between them, face obscured.

Eliot’s face started to age, his hair turning white, and Margo bit back a sob. “A life, a good life, and you could never be fully happy. Your broken brain wouldn’t let you. How pathetic can you be?”

“It’s not… his fault,” Margo said, trying to keep her gaze on Eliot’s eyes and not the wrinkles surrounding them.

“I died, you had a kid, grandkids, and what was the point of it all? What was the point if you can’t even be happy?”

“Just STOP!” Margo shrieked, stamping her foot. Eliot just stared at her.

“You two jerks… you abandoned me,” she hissed. “You had a whole life together, without me. What was it for? For magic! For us! Quentin knows this! He knows it, this is just his dumb brain doing its thing. He sacrificed so much for this stupid quest. He’s strong, and he’s smart and he’s too caring for his own fucking good, and this is some bullshit. So stop it, dream Eliot. Stop it, Quentin’s brain. Enough already.”

The dream flickered and faded out.

Margo woke up on the Muntjac and curled into Eliot.

.

Quentin found himself in the corridor to the clean room. The Dean was on the floor, and Mike was standing there covered in blood.

“This isn’t uh- I don’t know what’s happening,” Quentin mumbled, taking a step back.

Without him doing anything, a giant gash opened on Mike’s chest and he fell to his knees. “You killed me, El,” Mike said.

“I’m not- what’s…”

And suddenly, Mike was him, looking up through a curtain of hair. “You killed me, El.”

“Eliot never killed me…” Quentin said. He looked around, still confused, still floundering. “What is happening? This isn’t my memories, this isn’t how any of this goes.” He looked down at himself. “I’m Eliot?”

“You killed me, El,” his doppelganger repeated.

“He did NOT, oh my god,” Quentin replied, running a hand through curly hair. “This is… this has got to be some sort of spell, I just don’t know… how or what or…?”

Mike reset, and then he was dead, and then he was another Quentin.

“You killed me, El.”

“Dammit, stop that!” Quentin shouted. “Look, if this is some sort of loop of his thoughts or his…” he paused, frowning. “…Dreams? Is this a dream?”

Mike was back, Mike was dead. Mike was Quentin, Quentin was Margo, Margo was Fen with a belly swelling with Eliot’s unborn kid.

“You killed me, El.”

Quentin shook his head. “Okay, okay this is a dream. I’ve done this before. Didn’t go so well, but maybe this time…”

He turned away from the body. “That’s not real, and it’s not true. What else do you got?”

The corridor faded into the Fillorian throne room. Margo was alive, face pinched with fury. “Eliot, the castle is breeched, the Lorians and Floaters are here. Your decisions have doomed us. How are we going to survive this?”

“Well, okay, so first off Margo doesn’t talk like that,” Quentin said. “Eliot knows that, so maybe his brain can’t make her sound like herself and say those things? I don’t know, um… El? You haven’t doomed anyone. Fillory is okay, or you know, it will be okay. We’ll get it back. And you haven’t killed anyone. Mike… Mike wasn’t your fault. He was being controlled by Martin and he was doomed before you even met him.”

Margo was still glaring at him but wasn’t saying anything.

“See? Very un-Margo. This isn’t real, El. It’s your brain, your fears. You’re blaming yourself for stuff that isn’t-“

The throne room faded.

He was standing in the middle of the tile pit.

He could see himself playing with little Rupert. His throat tightened. Arielle was hanging laundry.

Dream Quentin turned to Eliot.

“Do you think any of this life with you was real? Do you think it meant anything?”

“What?” Quentin asked weakly, eyes on his son.

“You were the only option, Eliot. Obviously I wouldn’t have spent my life with you in any other circumstance.”

“I didn’t even miss you,” Margo said as she suddenly appeared.

“No one really needs you, farm boy.”

“I need him,” Quentin said. “Margo needs him. Fillory needs him. Eliot is a good king, and he was a good dad, and he will be again if he wants to be. He is smart and loyal and funny, and he fights to be what people need him to be. El, if you can hear me, if any of this gets to you somehow, please know you were not a last resort. I love you, just like you love me. We’re family. I can’t imagine a life without you.”

The dream flickered and Quentin woke.

He hoped he had said the right thing.

.

Kady became aware in some sort of greenhouse.

There were yellow tomatoes hanging on a vine, carrots in a terrarium. She didn’t recognize this place at all. She tried to get out of bed but her movements were slow.

She looked down and her hands were wrinkled.

“The fuck?”

She hobbled over to somewhere she could see her reflection. Her vision as fucked up and she saw a blurry smudged version of an old man.

“…who the fuck is this?”

“We all forgot about you.”

Kady turned. The blonde traveller and the redhead from the library heist were standing there smirking at him.

“…Victoria, right? And…” She stared at the redhead.

“I don’t remember your name.”

This seemed to confuse whatever was happening for a second. It vibrated around the edges, the girls don’t move for a bit.

“No one cares about where you are, Josh, no one will ever come looking,” Victoria finally said.

“Josh? Why the fuck am I Josh?”

There was another glitch. Kady crossed her arms impatiently. “Um, hello?”

“You matter to no one, you will always be forgotten.”

“Okay? I literally do not care.”

“You’ll always be alone.”

“Oh, fuck off Josh,” Kady sneered. “I get it, we fucking get it. You’re a lonely little son of a bitch. So are we all. None of our stupid little questers club belongs anywhere but with each other, which surprise, is fucked up! I don’t give a shit how you feel, Josh. Not many of us do! Get over it. Do something about it! Make us fucking care, if you feel like it. Cuz I sure as shit am not entertaining your pity party for a second longer!”

Her voice wavered and she clenched her fists. “People have fucking died, Josh, and you expect me to prioritize this shit? No. Fuck no. Earn your way. If you want to be one of us, BE one of us. Don’t just set a fucking flag and say that’s enough. You got that?”

Kady woke up, tears on her pillow.

.

Eliot was standing in the throne room, and there was bright blood on his wedding gown.

Margo’s wedding gown. He’d never gotten to see it before now.

A head rolled at his feet.

The Fairy Queen stood next to him, black eyes void of feeling.

“You are alone now, Queen Margo. High King Eliot and all of your children of Earth friends have abandoned you to Fillory. Do your duty.”

Tick smiled at him and it’s not a kind smile. “I hope we won’t have to put you out to dry dock.”

“It happens sometimes, you know,” Rafe said solemnly to Abigail.

“Excuse me, dry dock?”

Everyone just leered at him.

“I feel like I’m missing something, but I have not abandoned Bambi. I would never.”

“They will never respect you. No one will ever love you,” The Fairy Queen said.

“I love her,” Eliot snapped, starting to get angry.

“You are a cold-hearted, loveless bitch. You don’t deserve-“

“I’m going to stop you right there,” Eliot said, holding up a hand. “Bambi may be ruthless, but she’s not cold-hearted. She gives too much of a shit about things people don’t even think about.”

Eliot turned up his face. “Bambi! I love you, and you are the most wonderful, astounding, powerful woman in all the worlds we’ve ever visited! You are Margo the Destroyer! Never forget! I won’t let you!”

Eliot woke up to Margo curling into him, and Eliot cuddled her back and placed a kiss to her temple.

.

Julia was magic.

She soared through the cosmos, she knew everything, she saw everything.

And then she was torn from her freedom, placed in a body that hurts, that eats and shits and yearns. She’s trapped in a jail of a body, her own mind slipping away from her.

“Alice,” she gasped, closing her eyes.

“This is what she feels, every day.” Julia looked up to see Niffin Alice staring at her. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“Neither are you.”

Niffin Alice shrugged. “I’m a part of her now. Not different from her, exactly. It’s not like I’m some separate entity talking to you. This is her, me, noticing you’re in my dreams and wondering what you’re doing here.”

“I don’t know, maybe-“

“The Unity Key,” they both said at the same time.

“Makes sense,” Niffin Alice said. “Cross contamination.”

Niffin Alice turned. Writhing little worm creatures had appeared, surrounding them. They all shrieked as they died.

More creatures appeared.

Vampires, demons, another niffin, things that Julia doesn’t know, all screaming and dying, tortured and tormented.

“We did this,” Niffin Alice said, frowning. “We hurt and maimed and killed.”

“…you did this.”

Niffin Alice nodded. “It- plagues her. Us…. me.”

“You don’t know where you end and she begins,” Julia said softly.

“Her, me, we. Am I the monster or the soul that the monster lost? Am I both? Neither?” Niffin Alice raised a hand up, the lights of a dying worm creature danced through her fingertips. “Would I do this all again, given the chance?”

“Alice.” Julia reached out, put her hand on Niffin Alice’s… no, Alice’s shoulder. Alice turned to look at her, eyes bright with self-hatred, fear. “I did terrible things without my Shade. And I was bound to a body. If I had been a Niffin, who knows what I would have done.”

“You didn’t do this.”

“No… I didn’t.”

“There is no forgiveness for me.”

“I don’t know about that,” Julia answered honestly. “I really don’t. But that doesn’t matter, in the end. We want forgiveness. But we may never get it. We may never deserve it. But…” Julia reached out, asking, and Alice gave her a hesitant look but did not protest. Julia wrapped her in a hug.

“We just work. We make up for it, in any ways we can. We live with it, Alice, and we do better.”

Alice shook against Julia, and she wondered if Alice was crying.

When Julia woke, she decided it might be a good idea to make breakfast for everyone.

Alice liked a good pancake.

.

Josh woke up after a few hours of being stuck chained to a book cart and pretending he knew what was going on.