#the way jagr is looking at him…

[christadeguchi]

is it hockey or is it only fans (audio on)

[larsnicklas]

What is that people don't understand about Barky?

eh i think it's less that he's misunderstood as it's.... idk. that he flies very under the radar by choice and tends to be overshadowed by flashier personalities. on purpose. i guess if there's one thing i'd say — with the caveat that none of us know the guy personally! — i don't really think he's shy at all, which is how he was described a TON when he was younger. he speaks when he has something to say and has always had yappers in the leadership group to balance things out lmao. but he's so funny!!! and tbh the older he gets the more he lets his personality show on camera i think lol

i, a longtime nicke enthusiast, am used to basically all of this and even drawn to these traits, and therefore voraciously consume every longform sasha interview/piece that is available to me in order to kind of get a grasp on what makes the guy tick. here are a few of my favorites + a few highlight videos for fun!

SASHA MINI PRIMER ⬇️ aka an incomplete but lovingly curated collection of required reading/videos/essential moments below the cut!!!

📰 Sushi With Sasha: Barkov jests that all being captain really means is, “I have to open my mouth sometimes.” [...] The fact Barkov cracks wise about his quiet ways, though, is in line with a defining characteristic — knowing how to pick your spots, both with the puck and one-liners. “Yeah, that’s exactly it,” says Pittsburgh Penguins defenceman and fellow Finn Olli Maatta. “Definitely not the loudest guy in the room, but when you get to know him he has almost like a sneaky sense of humour.”

🎥 32 Thoughts: Barkov Reminisces About Panthers Magical Playoff Run (he is so cute in this. hair fluffy. smiley. sweet.)

📰 Q&A: Sasha Barkov is home in Finland and discusses his love of chicken wings, Jaromir Jagr and the Miami Heat: How fast does that car go? Well, 65 is the speed limit, right? So, 66. But I think it would hit 200 if you really pushed it.

🎥 Aleksander Barkov Shootout Goals But They Get Increasingly More Impressive (what it says on the tin)

📰 The NHL’s new Patrice Bergeron? Panthers’ Aleksander Barkov fits the bill — ‘He does everything right: Affable as always, Barkov, despite his short offseason, looked noticeably more jacked than he’d even been during the Panthers’ tremendous playoff run. He smiled and extended his hand before discussing his motivation to captain the Panthers back to the spot that had been so grueling to get to in the first place.

📰 Barkov Keeps His Cool: It’s right after one of those long days of work at the rink in November that Barkov, known better around the locker room as “Sasha,” has me on his car’s speakerphone as he works to traverse through a bit of traffic around rush hour. In the background, vehicles can be heard zooming and honking around him. But just like he does on the ice, the Panthers captain is keeping his cool. As he maneuvers through congestion with his foot tap dancing on the pedal, he doesn’t talk much about his extension, but rather of the first time he attempted to traverse the highways of South Florida as a fresh-faced, 18-year-old hockey prodigy during his rookie season in 2013.

🎙️/ 🎥 The Hockey PDOcast Episode: Aleksander Barkov's Defensive Impact and How He Does It (analysis of barkov as a player with accompanying video clips)

🎥 Panthers Celebrate Captain Aleksander Barkov (this video is so fucking funny to me because joe t.hornton just talks for ten seconds about how big sasha is. which. yeah real.)

📰 Dwyane Wade crashes into fan at Heat game -- Panthers star Aleksander Barkov: Barkov said he would like to see Wade at a Panthers game this season. The Panthers play at BB&T Center in Sunrise, which is 35 miles north of AmericanAirlines Arena, where the Heat play. Barkov predicted Wade would get a standing ovation from Panthers fans and said he wouldn't let boards stop him from trying to see Wade during that game. "I'll try my best to fly over him," Barkov said.

🎥 Ask Me Anything | Aleksander Barkov (this is where he says his dream golf quartet is his ex bf his current work wife and his dilf mentor)

📰 Q&A with Sasha Barkov: Fast cars, Miami sports and his first move as NHL commish: Yeah, the palm trees were cool and he really liked the ocean. But he also liked to drive. To do that, he needed to head to the DMV and get himself a Florida driver’s license. “I don’t have a car but I have the license,” Barkov said during his first training camp with the Panthers in 2013. “I failed the first time because I didn’t understand the questions.”

🎥 Laine and Barkov go to town on Finnish chicken wings (literally just a minute long video of them eating chicken wings LOL)

🎥 ALEKSANDER BARKOV VS. PAVEL BARBER | HockeyShot Shootout Challenge! (silly trickshot video... fans throw rats at sasha and he's like thank you :D... it's like an artificial sheet on the beach, sasha is very cute)

[idontlikeem]

What made Geno your fave?

Oh boy!

For background, I started watching hockey in fall of 2009. I was bored over the summer and decided to get into a new sport. I’d never cared about hockey because my family didn’t follow it (we are football and basketball people), so I had no particular team I had allegiance to, so I did what any reasonable prospective fan would do: I looked up the most recent championship team and scanned their roster for hot guys.

There was Sid, of course. About my age, captain, and oh he’s cute, ok I can work with that. I did some research on his story and found it fascinating, because who doesn’t love a good golden boy narrative? A promising start.

Jordy Staal was also really cute to me, and Flower was pretty. And then we got to Geno, who the first picture I really remember seeing of him is one where he was smiling big, and as we all know he has the BEST smile.

After that, his backstory was just as interesting to me as Sid’s, in a totally different way. I mean, it sounds like a spy thriller, right? It’s crazy. And then he won the MVP that playoffs, and the highlights were up on YouTube, and wow, look at him skate. Look at him and Sid skate together, wow they’re so good. Look how Geno spins and cuts through guys out there, look how quick he is, how fast his hands are moving the puck.

I knew fuck-all about what I was watching but his skating style is so distinctive that I was able to pick him out on grainy 2009 and earlier footage with ease; let me tell you, focusing on ONE player for a full game or even period is such an underrated way to learn the sport. You see what they do when they don’t have the puck and it helps you figure out strategy, how plays develop, what defense is. Highly recommend.

He was still pretty quiet with the media then and I don’t think he was on Twitter yet, but he seemed funny and cute and I really liked his accent! And all the guys seemed to be friends, and I love that in a sports team.

It was summer so I watched a lot of the Pens’ old YouTube features. I learned about Mario and Jagr and the first set of back to back cups, and Sid’s draft, and how the team almost left the city. I learned about the rivalries with other teams, and the way the league worked, and what a salary cap is, and all the different penalties. And as it got closer to the start of the 09-10 season, I watched the road to the cup video for the run I’d just missed (it’s on YouTube now!) and there was that shot of Geno looking up, you know the one, with his scar, and that was my tipping point. The coverage of him in the Carolina series just sealed it.

He fascinates me. He’s shy but loud, funny but so publicly emotional. He��s flawed as hell but he tries so hard. He’s arrogant but he deserves to be, and he’ll never ever allow anyone to give him credit for when he’s playing well, he deflects. He’s accurately predicted the future twice. He’s so loyal it’s to the point of folly, almost. He has an unbelievable smile and rescues alley cats and is scared of big dogs. He’s a bully who’s never met a charity he didn’t contribute to.

And holy shit can he skate. Holy shit does he play beautiful, brutal hockey. He’s vicious with his stick and graceful with his hands.

And, yeah, he’s hot. That’s important to me too and I’m not sorry about that!

Anyway, I like him a lot. Thanks for sending me this ask and letting me talk about why :)

[secret-third-thing]

TW: BLOOD KINK

Eris is into blood play.

For my fic I hc it that he'd enjoy having the scars his father gave him be made deeper/messier/more jagred by his mate's hand so that when he looks in the mirror he won't see his father but his mate's handiwork

Also walking up to his mate's handprints covered in his blood all over his body especially his *ahem* *ahem* after passing out strung from the ceiling 😮‍💨😮‍💨

I READ A FIC THAT YOU MIGHT LIKE. I have to figure out who wrote it / what it was named. BUT DANG. I know for a fact you aren't the only one who feels this way.

[thenhlteaissuperhot]

what do you think of the tkachuk vs mcdavid "face of the nhl" debate?

since people magazine called tkachuk the "face of the nhl" butthurt hockey men are saying that will never be true because mcdavid is the face of the nhl. the way i see it, mcdavid might be the best player but he has the personality of beige wallpaper and tkachuk might be a rat but seems to have a fun personality

also, who do you think the nhl should market more to be the "face"? boring but the best players in the world (mcdavid, crosby, mckinnon etc) or talented fun personality guys (tkachuk, pasta, zegres etc)

I see it the same as you do.

No one can deny that McDavid is currently and will continue to be the best NHL forward - it is something every single person who gets into the world of ice hockey and consequently even the world of the NHL grasps and accepts as a fact.

However, just as you have said Connor has a personality of beige wallpaper (I love that term so much by the way). You see it every single time he is asked to do any sort of promotional content during the All-Star Week, before the season shooting, or during it. The outcome of that is always something you can hardly sell to his fans, who are die-hard supporters of the cult of "McJesus" - even those people oftentimes consider it as unwatchable - so now imagine what would people, who have no idea what NHL is, say if McDavid really was the face and his content would be the one, with which would the league be trying to expand its fanbase.

It's not that I blame him for being socially awkward, everyone has a different sort of personality and not everyone is born as a social butterfly with an undeniable charm, but the NHL and those fans who passionately defend his "face of the league" title need to realize that being the best player and the most marketable player thus the face of the league are two completely different roles and McDavid can play only the first one. Just like Crosby.

Simultaneously, you have to take into consideration that they are looking for primarily an American face of the league - that's market where they are competing with other big and more known leagues like NFL, NBA, and so on, you don't need that much promotion in Canada where it is a national sport or in Europe where you could definitely find many more fans but where you have the huge disadvantage of the time difference so you will never have thousands of Europeans watching the games at 2 AM when they have to go to work the next day. If you use a Canadian or European player as the face of the league, it won't register as big of a success as you would love to. This is the USA we are talking about, the most ridiculously patriotic country I know, they want an American face or else they won't support it.

That's why the league is pushing guys like Matthew Tkachuk or Auston Matthews (or at times even Zegras) because they are both players with actual talent but also a big marketability aspect and mainly with American passports.

Naturally, there are players who would be even bigger internet sensations if they were American - look at David Pastrnak, that man has been born a showman and a great player on top of that, he would absolutely kill the face of the league game if he wasn't from the Czech Republic and so would Mitch Marner if he wasn't Canadian, hell even Brad Marchand has an elite personality or Jaromir Jagr if he once again wasn't Czech. To this day Jagr is the most beloved player from the big guys (Gretzky, Lemieux, Ovechkin...) because he was and still is a f*cking comedian on top of being an ice hockey legend.

[swifty-fox]

Mota hockey au, again (sorry for spaming your inbox).

Did the guys want to be pro players hockey since their early childhood or did it happen later?

Did they have other players they are/were looking up to?

Did they have a backup plan (for their career) in case of serious injuries? What will they do once they retire from playing in games?

Thank you for your previous answers 🥰

PLEASE KEEP EM COMING I LOVE THINKING ALL THIS STUFF!!

these are really good questions wowie.

Bucky wanted to. He grew up in Wisconsin which is big hockey territory. All that lake superior/canada area just produces a fuckton of NHL players. He slept with a hockey stick and his parents signed him up for hockey leagues as soon as he was able to be put in.

Gale comes from a hockey legacy. His dad was an NHL player who played for the Canadiens back in the day (mom's a famous figure skater hence his model good looks) He wasn't given a choice about going pro, He's just lucky he loves it anyways

Bucky's hero is Dominik Hasek

Dominik has a REALLY interesting play style that's super athletic and all over the place. this guy plays and defends with his WHOLE body he's a goddamn acrobat and was so good some players literally believed it was impossible to score against him. Normally tendys will catch with their gloves, block with their chests and maybe catch with their knees. Dominik uses....everything. Bucky loves that loves the physicality and the passion. he spends a lot of time practicing off of Hasek tapes. Does a lot of asking Gale to try to score on him while he has no stick just to get better.

Gale Looks up to the greats. Gretzky and Mario and Jagr. I think he likes Jeff Skinners play style a lot because he's a similar small light guy so he wants to pull from someone with a similar build. (fun fact jeff skinner used to be a figure skater! it shows really obviously in his play style, the way he spins around the other players and skates backwards) Skinner's just SO quick. he used to be with the Canes and was kinda wasted there. Seems like he's thriving in Buffalo which makes me happy I always liked him

When you play in the NHL you're....paid a lot. The highest contract right now is Nathan Mckinnon for 100.8 million for eight years. So unless you're really stupid with your money as long as you play a few years in the NHL you can kinda be set for life. Most of the guys are young so they're not thinking backup plans. it's not even an idea in Gale and johns minds what else they would do. John probably got a business degree just to make his parents happy. Gale skippeded college to go straight to professional hockey (lots of guys do this)

I think after they retire Bucky goes into commentating. he's got that voice and personality that makes narrating the games excited. Most of the commentators are former players because who better than someone who knows exactly what they're talking about

Gale coaches kiddie hockey leagues :) he doesnt know how to get off the ice and loves teaching the kids.

[tostoa]

👁️💢🍰💐🌌🎭🍼👖❤️ FOR ANY OF THEM WAJHGFDFG

AHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH AXIS <33 This one’s long so it’s going under the cut but I had sm fun with these I really hope you like them :)) (and the other one I did a few days ago!)

👁️ EYE - what colour are their eyes? do people notice their eyes? is there anything special about them (shows emotion easily, literally magical...)? [Mirou]

Mirou’s eyes are a very vibrant green, I imagine they’re fairly noticeable to people 👍 I imagine she always has her eyes like half closed but that’s because she has eyesight problems

(I love just making stuff up on the top of my head that I’ve just never mentioned before and makes no sense)

💢 ANGER - what are some habits they have that will take some getting used to? [Dalrill]

Sorry guys I am a stupid cardassian tail truther (I have never drawn Dalrill with a tail but be aware that I believe in it) though I imagine Dalrills tail is a little weird and has like a lizard/lion tail mix don’t know how to describe it to you lmao.

But I imagine whenever she’s particularly upset or pissed off her tail just whips things around her, it’s just sort of a reaction she has like a facial expression lmao.

🍰 CAKE SLICE - favourite cake flavour? are they specific about types of cakes? [guy]

I think Guy probably eats plain vanilla cake with no frosting, but the cake would have like powdered sugar on it and that’s it.

People have seen him eating cake and gone oh why are you eating plain bread? And he’s like wdym? this is my birthday cake?

💐 BOUQUET - create a bouqet for them! what do those flowers mean? are any of the flowers their particular favourite? [bel]

Okay so I don’t know too much about all of the meanings, but I’m going off of nice looking flowers that I think bel would enjoy or just fits him. So 👍👍

Here’s my list: Daisies, Blue hydrangeas, Dahlias and then white wisteria.

Think all of that would look cute together :))

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them? [frelvar]

I don’t think there was any particular inspiration in my head, besides like how Ferengis and Vulcans are like some of my favourite Star Trek species. Frelvar was similar to maybe Dr reyga in my head, but like that was mostly just for the fact that he was half ferengi and his main focus wasn’t profit.

The first thing I decided about frelvar, was how his parents would be more than him. I imagined how they’d view him joining starfleet first before anything else.

🎭 MASKS - do they act differently around certain people? what's different between the way they act around friends, family, strangers, etc.?  [Minye] 

I think in public and In her bar she tries to give off this air of like exciting person with confusing advice you can come gossip to, but with closer friends and immediate family I imagine she’s a lot more soft spoken and calmer.

like you’d imagine hanging out with her by yourselves would be more like I don’t know going out to clubs (which probably happens on occasion, it’s not like she’d turn it down) but she honestly just enjoys like sitting in the same room as someone.

🍼 BABY BOTTLE - what are their thoughts on children? [Jagre]

Jagre loves kids man, he’s a great babysitter. We’ve already talked about how he’s going to have like a one week kid, and I think that after that point whenever has to take care of someone else’s kid he sort of remembers his own and like feels a little sad.

👖 JEANS - what is their go-to outfit? [Libitina]

Well the main outfit would probably be her uniform lol. But actually for like her casual wear I like imagine either like colourful dresses/skirts or like overly patterned jumpsuits.

Mostly because I think she would look really amazing in both of those.

❤️ RED HEART - their love language(s)? [Frelvar]

It’s definitely touch but like not hugging them or like cuddling. It’s like poking them in the face a bunch or like tapping their fingers against somebody else’s. Just repetitive touches for people he likes <33

[rinkrats]

anyway i’m not over this article so here are some things that made me :’)

1. ...this lanky Russian star from a small, industrial town sat with his left shoulder pressed against the right shoulder of the face of hockey, this sturdy son of a Canadian harbor town. They came from wildly different backgrounds but, at this very moment, were a singular force. In many ways, this is how it should’ve been after a decade together. Two generational players, gifted to the Penguins one year apart, primed to leave an indelible mark on hockey’s biggest stage.

2. “Sometimes stars aren’t close,” says Rick Tocchet, their former assistant coach. “But those two, you know, it made things easier because of how close they are. You don’t see that every day.”

3. While Malkin’s English was limited, his mutual understanding of Crosby — on and off the ice — was pure instinct from their first days together.

“We’ve been together for a really long time now,” Crosby said. “Now that I think about it, it’s hard to believe how long it’s been. And to be honest, we became friends at the very beginning and it’s just always been that way. His English wasn’t so great at first, but we just always understood each other from the beginning.”

“I like to think I can relate to the pressure that he deals with and the expectations that come with all of that pressure. We were both high draft picks and expected to do a lot of big things when we entered the league. You are happy and excited to be drafted that high, for sure. But at the same time, there is a different kind of pressure there. Geno and I have talked about it before and I think we just always have kind of had a sense for one another, when we’re up, when we’re down, what we’re dealing with.”

4. Having failed to bring the Penguins back to a Stanley Cup Final after playing in two during their first three seasons together, Crosby and Malkin each sensed their partnership could be the next casualty for continued postseason failures.“I of course worry because GM, coach and Nealer are gone,” Malkin said three years later. “Is not mad, but worry that maybe they say Sid and I can’t play together too. We have to win again, of course. To stay together, we have to win again.

“I tell Sid we have to win again because I always want to play with you.”

5. During his rookie season, Malkin often caught himself transfixed on a framed photograph that hung above an entranceway separating the home dressing room and player’s lounge at the old Civic Arena. The framed photograph showed Lemieux and Jaromir Jagr each gripping a side of the Cup that the Penguins won in 1991 and in 1992. On the day before Game 7 of the 2009 Stanley Cup Final in Detroit, Malkin was one of the last players to leave Civic Arena. Before he departed for the airport, he took one last look at that framed photo and told a reporter, “I want one of me and Sid.”

In the euphoric chaos of the on-ice celebration in Detroit the next night, Malkin and Crosby never managed to get that picture. No big deal. They were young. They were in charge. They would have many other chances. Or so they thought. 

When the Penguins won their long-awaited second title of the Crosby/Malkin era in San Jose in 2016, they simply forgot again. Strike 2.There would be no Strike 3.

Malkin had instructed a team employee on the morning of Game 6 in Nashville to “get me and Sid with Cup if we win, no matter what.”

Lounging on a sofa with his injured toe resting on a table, dressed casually as if he had just warmed up for a tennis match against his actual brother, Malkin stroked his chin while looking at a digital picture of him and Crosby posing for the picture that had eluded them twice before.

“The best picture of my life,” Malkin says. “My two friends, and me.”

6. “I hope we win more,” Crosby said. “That’s always the goal. But no matter what, he’s my friend for life.”

7. At his apartment in Moscow, his offseason condominium on Florida’s Fisher Island and at his home in Pittsburgh, Malkin displays various memorabilia of Crosby. These include Russian nesting dolls painted in Crosby’s likeness, framed photographs, pucks and sticks from various games, anything and everything the most serious Crosby fan would want for his or her collection. Malkin jokes that Nikita, his son, will probably pick Crosby as his favorite player because of all the stuff.

“Is good,” Malkin said. “Of course, I will be his real favorite. But Sid is the best player, the best teammate. A great friend. I hope Nikita thinks of him as family. I do.”

Clearly, Crosby considers Malkin family.

“Having him around has always made my life better, on and off the ice,” Crosby said. “He has a way of knowing when to make you laugh, knowing when to lighten the room. But at the same time, he knows when to be serious, too. It’s just a great friendship. I just always liked him from the start. Always have. Always will.”

[badnhlimagines]

Imagine...

Ever since you started dating First Overall Pick Sidney Crosby, you've been waiting for the moment when he'd invite you round. You're aware that there are some logistics at play - namely, he still lives in Mario's attic - but every time you see those delicious thighs you're nearly overwhelmed with passion.

Finally, the day arrives. Sid texts you to say that his landlord is out, and he's got the house to himself "if youd like 2 cum over and talk about hockey :)". You accept quickly - though, knowing him, he probably does mean it about talking hockey. Still, you miss all the shots you don't take, or whatever it was Jagr said.

You make sure to dress for the occasion, donning a pair of sexy Penguins panties and matching thigh-highs, a mustard yellow miniskirt and a black crop top with pucks over your boobs. You add a Penguins baseball cap and some chunky black heels to complete the look, and then you're ready to go give your boyfriend a good time.

Sid meets you at the door, and leads you up to his attic room. Safe to say, it's not quite what you expected. Even though you know that he lives and breathes hockey, you weren't aware that the floor of his bedroom was iced over - his bed and his furniture fixed in place.

'Step carefully,' he instructs, though he doesn't feel the need to explain himself. He doesn't really have to, you concede. At the end of the day, he's still the next Claude Giroux.

You pick your way across the ice to his bed, lying seductively across it and watching appreciatively as Sid begins to strip. He gets right down to his boxers before turning to his wardrobe. Looking for condoms, maybe? You like a guy who doesn't waste time.

Then he turns back to you, holding something yellow in his hands.

'Are you ready, Y/N? I just need to get these on.'

You look at them, your beautiful brow furrowing in confusion. 'Sid, I don't get it.'

'Come on, Y/N,' he says, laughing. 'You gotta know that the croc skates stay on during sex.'

[badhockeymom]

Barkov @Urheilucast 3: Friends and mentors

Patrik Laine

Host: Have you sat inside Pate’s yellow Lambo yet?

Sasha: No I haven’t, he has already sent it to Canada. So I haven’t got to blast pop from rolled down windows on Hämeenkatu.

Host: Does anyone even ever get a ride in that car besides his family? 

Sasha (laughs): I don’t know, you have to ask Pate that. You have a few questions for him already.

Host: I’m a ride or die fan of Pate’s yellow Lamborghini, you know, I ask all my guests the same question. Nobody has got a ride on it yet.

Sasha: That’s weird then. I'll have to be the first.

Jaromir Jagr

Sasha: Everything didn't go the way I wanted when I started that season. I have to thank my coach at that time, Gallant, who believed in me and said don't worry, just play, you're a young guy with great potential, it may take a while but I trust you. How long did it take, about 30 games I think, until I got my game going, started to produce points, score goals and defend well. Then, on the trade deadline, we got my next mentor, Jaromir Jagr, and that was the beginning of another story.

Host: That is something I wanted to ask about. Jagr is one of my greatest childhood idols and favorites, I had a picture of #68 on my wall. What’s your favorite memory of Jagr as a teammate?

Sasha: I don’t have one favorite memory. I have the whole time he was on the Florida Panthers, from the first day to the last day I saw him on my wing, it was total – I was living my dream. It took a moment to realize that I’m playing in the same line with the player who’s second in points in the world – the history of the game. I have played with Ville who I saw as a legend, I’ve played a couple of games with Selänne, but then it’s Jaromir Jagr who is – he is who he is, he needs no introduction, I don’t have to explain to anyone who he is. It was – every day I tried to watch him, look at what he does and copy him. I didn’t copy his skating, it was – he was 45 at that time, but I tried to copy everything else.

Host: Did you copy his habit of going to the gym in the middle of the night?

Sasha: That’s something I haven’t done yet, I haven’t hit the gym in the middle of the night but I’ve copied everything else. But I have a good story about that: We had an away game, I think it was in Nashville. I had been in Kulikov’s room for six hours, we had played FIFA and ordered in a lunch, then in the evening we had room service dinner in the room and played some more FIFA, and at ten PM we stopped, I went out to the hallway, rubbed my eyes there, ready for bed. A door opens, Jagr pops out in the hallway, he has a weight vest on, ankle weights on his legs, a hockey stick in his hand. He asked, “Where are you going?” and I answered “I’m going to sleep, it’s 10 PM.” He said, “Look, you’re 20 and you’re going to bed at ten, I’m 45 and I’m going to the gym.” He didn’t say anything else, he just left for the gym.

My next move was to go into my room, sit down and look at myself in the mirror. And I said, “Okay,” and started doing some squats and push-ups in my room. I took it from there, it was the first example I got for what you should do during the season and ever since that night I’ve made it a habit to go to the hotel gym in the evening, or for a run, and stayed after games and practices for extra workout. It was another turning point, a decisive moment in my career.

Host: What a beautiful story. The way it was presented to you, he set an example, no yelling or scolding, just stating calmly that “I’m going to the gym and I’m 45.”

Sasha: I’ll have to give myself some credit there. Not everyone would take the lesson home with them the way I did, many young players would laugh at it, maybe call a friend to tell the story, guess what just happened, and get their sleep, but I did take what I could learn from that situation and I think it helps me to this day.

Ville “Nemo” Nieminen

Sasha: Ville was a huge figure in my career, he came in kind of without saying anything and took me to the next level, if not the next one after that. He showed me the importance of hard work, I got to work with him and got some really great experience. To have had that kind of persons working with me through my career, I have grown up with them and through them, became a better athlete and a better person.

Host: Nemo was my guest two, three months ago and he spoke very beautifully of how you shot pucks on their backyard and how a natural mentorship but also a genuine life-long friendship started to develop between you two. It’s got to have a huge significance in a young player’s life, who you choose to look up to. In that sense, Nemo’s impact in your development must be absolutely crucial.

Barkov: True. I can’t speak highly enough of how he has helped me ever since I saw him for the first time, or was on the ice with him. I think he had his son Viljami with him and he left Viljami on the other end of the ice and came to pass and shoot the puck with me and my friend at the other end. It has started from there - I don’t think it was a friendship at first, we knew each other and have been around in the same circles, he has known my father for longer, but the older I have grown, the more I have got to know him as a person and the closer friends we have become.

Host: It’s a great narrative and of course it is only a beginning of your story, you have constant communication with each other and you learn off of each other all the time. What Nieminen - coach Nieminen now, of course - said very wisely was that he thought he was teaching Barkov but what happened was that Barkov was teaching him. This seems to be a two-way street.

Sasha: I guess so. I don’t know how he felt it but I have learned so much from him. If he hadn’t come to the team on my second Liiga season with Tappara, I don’t know if I had been anywhere but I’m happy he came on and I’m happy we got to play in the same line and train together for a whole season, a whole year, and ever since then every summer. It has helped me a lot. And I believe strongly that he does learn something from me. Now, as a coach, he has been able to coach me as a player for many months over the recent years, and not only me, he has had other players too, and he has been able to pick things from it that he can take to his coaching career.

***

Bonus: as Sasha said briefly, he has played with Teemu Selänne, but he has played against him too. 

(Teemu Selänne, Patrik Laine, Aleksander Barkov, Jari Kurri tennis doubles in the annual Bermuda Cup in Finland)

__

I’m making a series of posts where I translate bits of Aleksander Barkov’s guest appearance at a Finnish sports podcast Urheilucast. - Part 1 - Part 2

[axiomsofice]

Checking In: 2020 Entry Draft

One of the pillars of my sports fandom is my interest in the players of tomorrow, and as such Entry Drafts are among my favourite focal points. In enjoying NFL draft season I’m realizing it’s a good a time as any to revisit some story lines.

1: Lafreniere: There was not much left to accomplish in the QMJHL for Alexis, but that doesn’t mean he’s a top 6 forward from day 1. Amidst the turmoil of the Rangers’ season thus far he hasn’t been the dynamic difference maker we’re used to seeing from him. That being said I have no concerns, just look at team mate Kappo Kakko, who’s having a strong sophomore season as a middle 6 forward. Kakko’s been very good defensively, and is showing more and more of his skillset, controlling the puck well along the boards and down low in the offensive zone. He could almost play a style similar to Jagr in that way, especially if he can convert those possessions into dangerous chances thru passes or growing into his shot. We’ve seen the dangles and snipes at lower levels, but we’re well on our way to seeing an insane group of wingers on this Rangers’ team as these two grow to new heights in a group that already boasts Panarin, Kreider, et al. 

2: Byfield: Q is basically a whole year younger than Laf, but he’s already been excelling in the AHL. He’s got great hands, passing, speed, all the tools.  Some might’ve said he was raw, in large part due to most of his points coming off the rush, but we’re already seeing growth in key areas. Especially using his strength, puck protection, and elite passing skills down low for in-zone offense. It’s like off the rush he could be Malkin, in tight he’s got some JVR moves (James is really a gold standard for me), and he passes like Getzlaf. It all came to fruition recently as Byfield centered a line with Akil Thomas and Devante Smith-Pelley, notably the first all Black line in franchise history (but not pro hockey history!) and authored a Hollywood comeback to win the game in the shootout. Thomas, who already scored a gold medal winning goal in the world juniors, netted a hat trick in the last 3+ minutes to bring the Reign back from 4-1, then scored the eventual shootout winner. Byfield and Thomas definitely reminded me of Backstrom and Oshie at the side and front of the net respectively (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pimOI4eQLxE is a perfect example). 

3. Stutzle: I’ve started calling him a Ferrari. Like Pavel Bure or Marian Gaborik, so fast and skilled and dynamic. A highlight reel. Oh buddy, would he make the Sharks’ lives a lot better. Maybe he should’ve gone higher? Probably not tho? Unless... Either way holy smokes what a top 3. Ottawa is looking alright, Sanderson also had a strong year at University North Dakota aka Junior Sens. Kawaguchi?

That’s it for now  

[fanforthefics]

How about a magical AU of body switching with bennguin? 👀

So over 2 months late, I finally figured out how to do this...

1) The first time Tyler switches with Jamie, it’s not a big deal.

Hockey players don’t switch often, per se, but it still happens enough that the first time Tyler switches, with Marchy, it takes the locker room a good half hour to swap the stories of who and when they switched. Apparently Marchy and Bergy hop in and out of each other all the time. Bergy also has a story about the time in 2010 when he and Crosby switched for an hour before a game; he tells it offhand but personally Tyler thinks the only thing more stressful than being in St. Patrice’s body would be being in Sidney fucking Crosby’s. He’s pretty happy chilling in Marchy’s, where he can be as annoying as he wants, thanks.

So it happens, and there are rules, both official—you don’t even have to scratch anymore if you’re switching on the same team, though of course often it’s best to scratch because people don’t know how to skate in each other’s bodies. Though there are stories that the Sedins don’t skip a beat when they switch, and that Crosby’s still lobbying to spend a game in Fleury’s body just to finally get him that Vezina—and unofficial, like how you’re not supposed to really talk about it outside the locker room or to burn any bridges.

Which all means that the first time Tyler blinks and he’s in a body a little bigger and a little heavier than he’s used to, he’s not really thrown. Or, no, it’s cool, because you switch with people you’re simpatico with and it’s only been a few months since he came to Dallas and it’s cool he and Jamie are so chill. But it’s not a thing—it happened overnight, so he wanders out of Jamie’s room, and into the kitchen, where Jordie’s making coffee.

“Hey—“ Jordie’s eyes narrow. Tyler’s pretty impressed, actually; Tyler hasn’t even opened his mouth. “Who are you?”

“Wow, rude,” Tyler retorts, and Jordie relaxes.

“Hey, Segs,” he says, “Figured it was you. Need to run downstairs to deal with Marshall?”

“My body, Jamie can handle him,” Tyler decides. He trusts Jamie. Or at least of him to come up and ask, it’s not like he doesn’t know where Tyler is. “Coffee?” He’s seen Jamie in the mornings, he knows that coffee isn’t necessary, exactly, but he’d still like it.

Jordie gives him coffee. It’s a few minutes later than there’s a knock on the door, and Tyler’s body is there. Tyler’s only switched a few times, so it’s still weird, seeing his body from the outside like this. How Jamie holds him differently, his shoulders folding in a little.

“You should have told me that hit was bad,” is the first thing Jamie says, rubbing at the bruise Tyler went to sleep with on his side. Tyler rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, sure, mom. I can feel exactly how much you hurt.”

“Whatever,” Jamie mutters, and Tyler didn’t know his body could look sheepish like that. “Jord—“

“One Segs coffee, here you go. Now you two handle it.” Jordie hands Jamie a mug of coffee, which Tyler knows his body needs, and then goes to his room. Tyler doesn’t think there’s much to handle, really; generally the switches don’t last more than a couple hours, twenty-four at most—though there’s a story that once Lemieux and Jagr switched for a full 72 hours, which no one’s been able to get either of them to confirm or deny.

So yeah, there’s nothing to handle. They get ready and go to practice and Tyler figures out what it feels like to skate like Jamie and Jamie bounces off a few guys he’s used to barreling through, and then sometime at their pre-game nap they’re back and its’ fine.

2) The second time they switch, Jamie’s a little more nervous. It’s just shitty timing, is all, is what he tells Segs, who rolls Jamie’s eyes, and grins, cocky and careless, an expression that Jamie’s body doesn’t pull off. Jamie really hates switching in general—he doesn’t like learning a new body and he really hates knowing someone else is inside his, figuring him out. It’s okay when it’s Jordie, who he switches with the most, but when it’s Tyler...Tyler, who was hot and knew it in his own body, and now is figuring out the differences in Jamie’s. Not that he wouldn’t have known before, but it’s…Jamie doesn’t like to think about it.

And also— “We can’t cancel,” Ruff tells him, them, and Jamie doesn’t swear or anything, but he feels like it.

“Are you sure?” Jamie asks, again. He knows. He knows that cancelling for no real reason would just mean the press would jump on a story where there isn’t one, but, he can’t do a press thing in Tyler’s body, because that’s not how it’s done, and—

“I’ll be fine,” Tyler says, easy, and Jamie bites at Tyler’s lip. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Tyler to try. He does—Tyler’s been nothing but committed since he showed up. But Jamie’s still a new captain, and he already feels like he’s not enough and—

“Hey,” Tyler says, after they leave Ruff’s office. Jamie has to look up to look at him, which is a sensation that takes getting used to; he usually doesn’t have to look up to many people. Tyler probably doesn’t either, to be fair. “It really will be okay.”

“I know, but—“ Jamie goes to run a hand through his hair, but Tyler’s is shorter. “Just, I don’t—“ Either Tyler does great, and everyone knows how Jamie’s not a good captain, or he doesn’t do great, and everyone thinks Jamie failed. It’s a lose lose.

“Do you not trust me?” Tyler asks, and he says it cocky but Jamie’s learned him by now. Jamie shakes his head, instinctive.

“Of course I trust you, but—“

“Then don’t worry.”

“I will worry,” Jamie snaps, and takes a breath. “Look, Segs, this is—they still don’t know me as a captain, and I have to impress them, be someone they and you all rely on, and I can’t, and I can’t right now, so—“ Jamie cuts himself off, because Tyler didn’t need all that. “Just, take this seriously, please?”

Tyler’s eyes widen. Jamie knows his eyes are stupid big, so it’s really noticeable. “Yeah.” He swallows. “Don’t worry, Benny,” he says, and this time it’s not quite so easy. “I will.” Then he smiles again, that Tyler Seguin smile that somehow translates through to Jamie’s body. “I’ll even mumble in all the right spots.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Jamie says, but he can’t help but smile back.

(Tyler does take it seriously, and he does do fine, if more articulate than Jamie is normally. They’re back in their own bodies by the time Jamie can find Tyler again, and Tyler grins at him, which is even more in his own body. “Told you to trust me,” he says, and it’s in that tone of his that’s trying to be careless but is really eager.

Jamie nods back, puts his hand on Tyler’s shoulder. “I do,” he says, and Tyler goes quiet.)

3) So they switch in the next few years. More than most people. Apparently they’re pretty compatible, which makes Tyler slap Jamie’s shoulder and crow about best bros for life, or some shit like that. So they spend plenty of time in each other’s bodies, and it’s part of growing up.

Jamie sees what his body looks like when carried with Tyler’s confidence, that he’s got no reason to fold in on himself and mumble. He sees what it feels like to be in Tyler’s body, the way it feels to have people look when he’s expecting it, and starts to learn what it means when people do that when he’s in his own. He learns how Tyler skates and what it means to not be bigger than most people on ice, which doesn’t encourage his fighting habit, but Jamie’s body can take it and others can’t.

Tyler sees what it feels like to have the weight of responsibility, what it means to carry that if even for a little while. He learns how Jamie hurts, all the time, and doesn’t complain—though he certainly rats him out to the trainers, Jordie, and his mom; anyone who’ll listen and yell at Jamie for the way his hips scream at Tyler whenever he moves. He learns, too, what it means when he has to sit and listen; he learns how to pretend to be an anchor at least.

They don’t only switch with each other, of course. Jamie and Jordie still switch fairly regularly, though if it’s not a deal for anyone its really not a deal for them, who’ve been doing it since they started skating. They switch with their other line mates occasionally, other players. On their assorted national teams they switch sometimes too, of course. But it’s never quite like it is—it’s because they’ve been switching so much, Jamie rationalizes. That’s why Tyler’s body is so comfortable to him.

(Tyler thinks, well. He thinks that Jamie’s body is more comfortable to him because Jamie is comfortable to him, because somehow in the last few years everything about Jamie has become his home, because he’ll take closeness to Jamie however he can take it. He thinks, sometimes guiltily, that it happens so much because he wants so much, because it’s an excuse to feel out Jamie’s body even if it’s not nearly how he wants and he never crosses the unspoken lines of what you can do with other people’s bodies. He thinks that there’s nothing quite like the fix of how Jamie looks at him when he handles the responsibilities of Jamie’s body with care, when they’re back in their own bodies and Jamie smiles at him not like it’s unexpected but like he knew Tyler would do it, like he always has.)

4) Then—they stop switching. For years. After spending a few hours in each other’s bodies about once a month, it’s down to nothing; and it’s not that they stop switching totally, either. Jamie and Jordie still bounce around, even after Jordie’s traded; Tyler and Rads are pretty compatible; watching Bish and Jamie try to navigate each other’s bodies is frankly hysterical. But they don’t switch with each other.

“It’s because we’ve learned everything we could ever know about each other,” Tyler says, laughing, when he’s asked about it, but Jamie—it worries him. He’d always secretly been a little proud of how often he and Tyler switched, for all its inconveniences. It meant that the chemistry really was there, that Jamie didn’t make up the fact that somehow someone like Tyler and someone like him clicked. So when it stops—the chemistry’s still there, on the ice, and they’re still friends, but Jamie…he doesn’t know. Something must have changed.

He asks about it, a little, when he realizes just how long it’s been—sees if any of the other guys he knows switches a lot stopped at all. He gets a very politely apologetic message back from Sid, who tells him that he and Geno still switch fairly regularly but he can ask around; something sharper from Pricey that it’s been off and on since PK’s trade but it hadn’t stopped before that; Duncs says it’s slowed down but he doesn’t sound worried. He gets the single word yes back from Carts, but Jamie’s not going to press on that one. Tyson’s probably the most expectedly unhelpful; his whole team sounds like they barely spend any time in their own bodies. But Tyson is the one who says, frankly, does Segs have an opinion? because he does unfortunately know Jamie too well.

And Jamie wants to think he’s grown up, that he’s not the kid who couldn’t look anyone in the eye, but…if what it comes down to is that Tyler’s moved on to other friends, now that he doesn’t need just Jamie; if Tyler’s gotten tired of Jamie everywhere but on the ice, then Jamie would rather wonder about it then hear a yes or no. Jamie doesn’t think he’s a coward, usually, but sometimes, well. Maybe he is. Maybe he’d rather pretend to have some parts of Tyler than learn he doesn’t have him at all.

Except then Jamie’s the last to leave one of Tyler’s hangouts, just the two of them a little tipsy on Tyler’s couch with the dogs splayed out between them, and Jamie looks over at Tyler, thinks about how he’s grown since he first came, how he’s filled out the boyish frame and how much more settled he looks, and how much Jamie loves him, and— “Is there something wrong with us?” He asks, before he can think about it.

Tyler’s brow furrows. “Why would there be something wrong?” He tilts his head, drags his gaze over Jamie, in a way that somehow doesn’t make Jamie uncomfortable anymore. “You look okay. I’m okay.”

“We don’t switch anymore.”

Tyler grins, slow and lazy. “I told you, it’s because we don’t need it.”

“Yeah, but—“

“No, it is.” Tyler rocks up onto his knees, so he can reach Jamie. “I don’t need to be in your body to know that you’re still hurting from that fight last week but aren’t complaining.” He pokes at Jamie’s shoulder, which has been bothering him. “To know that you need some water soon so you don’t get a hangover.” His finger’s on Jamie’s temple. Jamie shivers. “To know that you’re worried about something, and have been.” His finger moves to Jamie’s jaw, then pokes at where Jamie’s dimple would be, if it was there. Jamie snorts, and Tyler grins. He’s very close, his eyes glinting in the low light. “To know exactly where that is.”

Jamie can’t help but smile at that, because Tyler always makes him smile. Because he does know that too, knows every inch of Tyler, knows the shape of Tyler’s grin and the curve of every tattoo. But— “That’s not—a lot of the guys have that too, and they don’t stop, I asked.”

Tyler settles back on his heels. “They aren’t us.”

“Yeah, but—are you really saying we don’t know each other like Sid and Malkin?” Jamie asks. “I don’t...I don’t want things to be wrong between us.”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Tyler says it confidently, clearly, but—Jamie does know Tyler, and so he knows what Tyler looks like when he’s not saying something.

“Segs.” Tyler blinks. “Tyler.”

Tyler swallows. “Don’t ask me, Jamie. Please.”

“If something’s wrong, I need to know,” Jamie argues. He gets it, he doesn’t want to push, but if something’s wrong he needs to know so he can fix it, for the team and for them. “It’ll be okay, we’ll figure it out. We—“ Then Tyler’s leaning in, and Jamie thought he knew Tyler, but it barely pings that he does actually know what Tyler looks like when he’s about to kiss someone before Tyler does kiss him, just a press of lips before he’s pulling away, his eyes wide and terrified.

“Don’t hate me.” He tries for a laugh, but it doesn’t quite land.

Jamie blinks. “Segs.”

“That’s what’s off between us,” Tyler says, then bolts to his feet. “I’m going to—dogs. You can think about it. Figure out how to fix it, because it’s been years and I haven’t been able to figure it out.”

He’s out the door before Jamie can figure out what to say. In the end, he leaves, because it’s pretty clear Tyler’s not coming back until he does.

5) Tyler wakes up in a body not his own that he knows too well, and swears at the ceiling. “Seriously?” He demands, and rolls out of bed.

He wasn’t wrong about Jamie’s shoulder hurting, and there are even more aches and pains than the last time he was in Jamie’s body, years ago. Tyler’s not surprised. Jamie’s put on more muscle, in the last few years; his hair and beard changed the feel of his face, a little. Nothing Tyler couldn’t have expected. If he ever thought he’d be here again, and definitely not after last night.

(This is what Tyler hadn’t said—yeah, they knew each other well enough not to switch. But there was a secret, the thing Jamie didn’t want to see that bled out of Tyler whenever he looked at Jamie, the thing that Tyler couldn’t say, and Tyler couldn’t help but think that’s what was there, that Tyler’s wanting had grown out of control until it was between them.).

But then he’d been an idiot, last night, but—Jamie had been looking at him all worried and plaintive with his irresistibly big eyes and maybe Tyler had wanted to stop that look more than he’d wanted to keep the secret, or maybe he was sick of keeping the secret, or maybe it had meant something, that Jamie had been worrying, that he’d been asking. Or maybe this was just another time Tyler had been reckless and stupid.

And now—now he’s in Jamie’s body again, for the first time in years. He doesn’t know what that means.

He brushes Jamie’s teeth anyway, deals with his morning the same way they always have. It’s conveniently an off day today, and Tyler had been planning to avoid Jamie as much as he could, if Jamie let him. To have a day to wallow in knowing the feel of Jamie’s lips, the scrape of his beard. But apparently that’s not how the universe works.

Just to torture himself, Tyler puts a finger on Jamie’s lips, traces them. That’s all, he’s done now.

And he hadn’t been kidding last night, Jamie had needed to drink water and clearly hadn’t. So he goes to do that, and that’s when the door opens and there’s the scraping of dog claws that means that his boys are here.

Sure enough, they all swarm him—he’s never been quite able to tell if they can tell that he’s him or if they just love Jamie too. Jamie’s a few seconds behind them. It’s still a little bit of a shift, seeing how clear it is to Tyler that it’s Jamie in his body, how the way he holds himself is so himself even if he’s never quite figured that out. How Jamie’s got the expression on that he’s going to face the firing squad head on, which isn’t one that Tyler’s used to seeing in the mirror, is definitely a Jamie expression. God, Tyler loves him, and this is going to really suck.

“So, I guess we don’t have anything to worry about,” Tyler says, before Jamie can. He leans down to scratch Gerry’s head. “Switching back to normal.”

“Tyler.” Tyler’s voice isn’t as good at the firm captain voice as Jamie’s own, and Tyler doesn’t look up. “Come on, Ty.”

“I guess it was my fault, then. I kept a secret and it meant we didn’t—”

“What secret?” Jamie asks, and Tyler snorts.

“Come on. You know me better than anyone. You literally know me inside and out.” He gestures at Jamie-in-Tyler’s-body. “Do you really not know?”

“I—didn’t.” Jamie sounds surprised about that, disappointed in himself the way he gets when he feels like he let the team down. That’s not okay, ever.

“I really didn’t want you to. I think that’s why we didn’t switch, because I was trying to keep us—I don’t know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you worried. I just didn’t want to have, you know. This conversation.”

“What’s this conversation?”

“The one where you’re very you and mumble something about how you love me as a friend and all that,” Tyler says. He’s rehearsed this one a fair amount. He didn’t think he’d have to see himself say it, but hey, he can handle some new torture. “It’s fine, I get it.”

“What if that’s not the conversation I want to have?” Jamie asks, and Tyler’s head jerks up. The expression on his face—Tyler thinks he might sort of know it, but only because he knows how he feels when he looks at Jamie. “I—I didn’t think about it, but you know me, I didn’t…but, I mean, you’re—you, even when you’re in my body, and—” This isn’t the mumbling Tyler had expected. This is—

“You’ve got to use your words, bro,” Tyler tells him, because there’s something dangerously like hope now, and that’s—he need to squash it fast if he’s going to squash it.

Jamie makes a face, and it’s recognizably the face he makes when he’s frustrated by people demanding he talk. But he takes a breath. “I hadn’t thought about it until last night,” he says, slowly, carefully. Looking Tyler right in the eye, because it’s Jamie, and of course he is. “But—that doesn’t mean I don’t want to think about it now.”

“Look, Jamie.” Tyler says. He needs—this has to be out there. “I love with you.”

“Yeah, you’ve said.”

“No, not in a bro way—or yes, in a bro way,  but also in a in love with you way.” Jamie makes a face, quick and gone. “What?”

“Just—that’s not something I thought my body would tell me,” he says, and Tyler snorts, starts to laugh.

“Seriously, bro? Now?”

“It’s weird!” Jamie protests, ducking his head in a way that would flush his cheeks if it were on his body. Tyler’s vain enough to think that it’s pretty cute on his body too, if not as cute.

“Weird because it’s your body, or because of what I said?” He asks. Marshall’s nosing at his leg, and he pets him absently.

“I mean, it’s weird both ways, but not in a bad way. I—“ Jamie shakes his head. “I, you know I’m shit at this, Segs, I—“ he shakes his head again, takes a step forward, then stops. “Fuck.”

“What?”

“Well, I’d have kissed you then, but it’s my body and that’d be even weirder,” Jamie starts out strong, and ends up muttering, and Tyler—he can’t do anything but laugh, because Jamie is reacting better than he’d ever dream and he’s being fucking cock blocked by his own body.

“Fine. So when we switch back—“

“Then, um. Yeah.”

“Yeah.” Tyler knows just how stupid Jamie’s face looks when he’s doing a dumb smile; he hadn’t known how stupid his own face looks. He can’t bring himself to care.

6) “I’m telling you, it’s weird,” Jamie says, again, months later, when they’ve switched back and kissed and more and then switched a few more times, for good measure—not as often as in the early years, but enough that Jamie doesn’t worry about it anymore. Also enough that all the guys he’d asked can be comforted that no, they’re fine, Jamie was paranoid.

“Okay, but flip side.” Jamie’s body rolls over, props himself up on one arm. It’s a very Tyler move, the way he likes to lean over Jamie and kiss him until Jamie rolls them over because he’s done with Tyler’s teasing. “It’s been a week and I want to fuck.”

“Tyler,” Jamie rolls his eyes. “No.”

“Jamie,” Tyler counters. “Yes. You want me to.”

“Yeah, you, not me.”

“I thought you said I was me no matter what body I’m in.”

“Yeah, but it’s me, so—no.”

“Okay, fine.” Tyler grins. “How about you don’t look, and I blow you? I don’t have any problem with blowing myself.”

“No, really?”

“Hey, I work hard for that body, I like to appreciate it,” Tyler retorts, smirking. He drags a finger up his own abs, which Jamie couldn’t conceive of but does send shivers up his spine. “And I know what that body likes.”

He makes a compelling argument, as long as Jamie closes his eyes and he doesn’t talk. Jamie sighs. “Fine. But don’t talk, I don’t want to hear myself.” He shuts his eyes, but he can still hear Tyler’s grin in his own voice.

“I don’t need to be talking for what I’m doing.” Jamie groans. He’s pretty sure other captains don’t have to deal with this shit.

Not that he’s complaining.

[tandygoff-blog]

The denizens of the colonies tried

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[mollyannice]

If Certain Unnamed People Who Believe Cheating in Fictional Settings Became Cops (reader is main protagonists. Please don’t take this serious)

Two thirteen year old boys sitting crossed legged in a park. They are laughing and seem like good little boys. You approach them and hear the most horrible thing. Murder confessions.

“Yeah last night while I was playing Grand Theft Auto I had a sweet run. I had been able to steal my dream car, man and I ran over like 15 people while escaping the cops. It was so fun. You should get the game, Tommy,” said the first boy.

Little Tommy shrugged, “nah the only game I’m aloud to play is The Sims 4. It didn’t stop me from modding the game out. My sim couterpart has a death ray. Just recently my sim locked 8 sims in a room and starved them to death. It was so funny!”

You gasp at the murder confessions. So innocent looking but hiding the fact they are serial murderers! You know what you have to do. You reach for your communicator and call for back up.

“Officer y/l/n, to Officer Pig, I need back up I found two highly dangerous suspects who need to be taught a lesson.” The Boys look around in fear because they know they were caught red handed.

You see your partner as you go in and arrest the fiends for their crimes. You take great pleasure in their tears on the way to the police as your partner looks on you with awe. You know you did the right thing.

As soon as you get in you hear the worst news ever. “WHAT why are you letting them go! They are bad guys! Together the two killed 87 people.”

“You told your partner one killed 15 people with a stolen Porsche and the other 8 that’s 23 people. What you didn’t tell your partner was these deaths happened in a video game.”

“Video game violence is the same as real life violence. Next your going to tell me when my ex husband Harry Styles cheated on me while playing the dating simulator Dream Daddy he never really cheated on me and his gay lovers that he went on multiple dates with all the men in that game. The cheater.”

The Chief stares at you before slowly opening his desk drawer to pull out Tums and Ibuprofen. You watch as he moves so slow taking the pills a glacier could outrun him.

“I need you to have over your gun and badge. Just pack up your things for right now. There is no way your mentally capable of doing this job. We will psyche eval again and your going to fail because your wow. Just wow.”

You nod your head tersely. The chief was incompetent at his job and you always knew he was incompetent but was surprised at his incompetency.

When you walked out the whole office goes silent except two sobbing children. One of the women cops is holding one of the sobbing boys. You immediately recognize the familial similarities and it dawns on you that you arrested another cops kid and not just any cop but Officer Jagr’s eldest son. Officer Jagr was known for being the scariest of them all and there are rumours she has an actual body count in her backyard. You see her glare at you and you nod at her. They also say she has a rocket ship in her backyard that her Husband Kevin made her. That sounds fake especially since Tommy was a nickname for Tomato. As you pack your things you know you did the right thing. Your partner, officer Pig is no where in site. The silience of the police presinct is unbearable but you know that your fellow officers know you were in the right. When you retake your psyche eval you know in your heart your going to fly through it with colours because your fellow officers of the law and you know the truth. Fictional murder is still murder like fictional cheating is still cheating.

[leondraisaitlsglove]

Leon Draisaitl and Moritz Müller- the hockeystars before the IIHF

English Translation/over view of this interview provided by the lovely @midnightweaver 

I focused on Leons answers and talk concerning him during the interview.

Leon is really looking forward to the Championship, said that it is always something special. It is always fun for him to play with the boys, he could not play often with otherwise. He talks a bit about how much fun it is to play with people he grew up with: With Frederick Tiffels he played since he was very small, with Dominik Kahun he played for 3 years in Mannheim and even Moritz he now knows for years. It is always cool and he feels very comfortable. He underlines how he always likes to be there. The reporter asked who has more cloud- Moritz because he has played more national team games or Leon because he is an NHL-Star. Leon answers really fast and without hesitation: Moritz and then doubles down that there is no question, it is Moritz. Leon and the reporter talk a bit about the fact that the NHL owners and GM don‘t really want / support their players playing outside their league and what reasons there are.

Leon dropped a quote that he would continue to score as much after one game in preparation but continued to score at high pace. He did not drop that quote to ease the expectations but he does not think it is realistic to shot 2 or 3 goals every game. He will try to do that but the most important thing is the team winning and not how much goals he scores. Moritz agrees (after a question from the reporter) that Leon sometimes understates his contributions. He also says that Leon can shoulder the pressure and is strong enough in his character to deal with it. He is not worried about that. But everyone in the team needs to do their part – Moritz compares to a puzzle piece of a whole. Nobody will win alone.

Leon says this season went well for him [What an understatement] and he tries to enjoy and have fun with it but things can turn fast in hockey. He always tries to be better and play his way. There is still room for improvent and he sees the championship as very import to continue to develope. He thinks that you can always learn things from every player – no matter if it is Sidney Crosby or Moritz Müller. He did this his whole career and during the championship very good hockeyplayers are playing. Moritz declines to judge Leons room to improve on the ice but explains that Leon now will need to take responsibility in team and will learn how to lead a team and be an example. This will be benefical for Leons further career. Leon speaks about Moritz acomplishments, calls him „still one of the best D in Germany“ and it is very obvious to me that he as a lot of respect for him- even though he chirps about Moritz getting old.

Moritz wasn‘t an idol for him when he started playing (2003 – Leon was 8) but as he went through Kölns/Colognes development system and got to the DEL, Leon wanted to follow in his footsteps. He also says in Germany, growing up, the DEL starts out as the League to play in. Leon is a big fan of the Kölner Haie and follows the DEL intensivly. He watches the highlights of every game. He praises the german national team for winning olympic silver and though he does not say it, might be a bit jealous. But he also says if he would have been there, the other NHL Player would have been there – and then the Silver might not have been possible. He does say that he is jealous that Moritz was allowed to take part in the Rosenmontagszug during carnival without being born in Köln/Cologne- but Leon has not been allowed yet [That is lighthearted and not to be taken seriously]. It is one of the most important things for the german team to become a good team again: To be one and play as one. Otherwise the chances are not good. Leon talks about the olympic team, where everybody blocked shots, nobody was too good for that. That will be needed again and then everything will be possible. He does feels comfortable on the Oilers, or the same compared to the national team. Also, Moritz needs to go „Jaromir Jagr mode“ to play with Leon on the Kölner Haie (and also train hard in the summer). In return Moritz will forfeit his salary in his final year so Leon comes and plays with him.

Additional points:

The gameplan of germany is to have a good start and Leon wouldn‘t set a goal for the team though maybe quarterfinals. The current new Trainer Sölderholm is a modern brave choice that Moritz approves of.

Moritz talks about Leon getting into other roles because he grows older. It seems quite clear to me that in the national team the youngsters first just have to worry about playing and now that Leons a bit more mature he needs to fill other roles. Through the choice of words it is quite clear that he will be mentored how to lead a team and be an example / leader.

The reporter asks Moritz if he ever thinks about what would‘ve beens should he have been in the NHL (11:36) and Leons body language is really interesting there. It is a bit of mirror at the start when Leons seems a bit uncomfortable as to weight the media makes out of his arrival.

On 14:10 there is a bit unclear for whom the question (Why Söderholm is the right coach) is, so Moritz first offers but the reporters ask for statements from both of them. It is quite funny how they both allow the other to go first and then only Moritz answers.

Leon always call Moritz Mo.

[chanelfunnell]

mail, Interesting one

A) anon, possibly casino, maybe he missed a disco in United Centre cave and maybe a strip bar for Sidney Crosby. I don't care I say it's always better to be a party boy/girl in your 20s rather than late bloomer hitting a dance floor with daddy dance and moves in late 30/40s like Crosby. Maybe he has been doing it for 20 years lol at least we know Tazer Captain Grumpy can dance not just on the ice so good , sign,

B) anon, Tazer's recent head on bad blurry cropped close up but from yesterday. No he is not all right and he was not bloated months ago closer to his ,illness,

C) anon, you can ride a pony after scoring a goal in NHL. I guess it needs a low IQ for playing a pond hockey or majority of elementary things to have a look on , someone's' IN with boring grid of shoes, coffee etc to scroll down to one or two photos of the horses.

I am speaking about Marketa and Meghan Markle who married into the family of horse riders. If you dig a dirt and create fabrications it is good to have a base. She is stupid and so Czech ex communist ice hockey officers with Jagr linked to ex KGB STB ex PM Andrey Babis. His children did not ride horses but the Windsors as not just UK royal family do. Also wealthy UK people and aristocratic girls. At least Meghan Markle should know it. You don't need to go into her Stories with boring stuff, Croatia not just last summer for special forces to train there and horses. Marketa Windsor has been apolitical for ages until Markle with fat UK politician and his bedmate dragged her into political trashing for different reasons from army info to just personal vendetta and low self esteem and J Jagr threw her to the wolves for the same reason to ex kGB Babis. Markle has contacted Babis as well as Jagr and ex communist Czech ice hockey mafians with her bs about M but we know that Markle is not so sharp and Marketa is not a zero and ugly as they orchestrated her Czech ID photo. Beside her super IQ and skills she is ...

Very smart princess and a commander who is able to skate out from all scrimmages and melees with head up grace and class wit and without harm. With a plan..she did not comment some mayor of Prague and so Babis but they monitor him and so not so secret pact that he hopes to be Czech President with recent court for corruption and one candidate less ..

I'd not go further and Babis with Jagr should stick to their Czech level of corruption and mafian tactics bcs it smells by bigger troubles linked to Arthur Landon and a man called Jack Mann linked to very stupid (Prince) Harry. We know the prince I'd stupid big mouth run by his Narciss wife and unable to run a tap of water, just playing games on Play station. No helicopter license, no way out of US army base in Afghanistan. Stupid with media posing and lack of reality check like his uncle Andrew who saw the action . The father's of Mann, Landon were warmongers, arms smugglers. They are around Harry, they got Markle into his set before she kicked them out. Jack Mann's father planned a coup in Africa., Jack Mann was seized as a mercenary up to Libya. It is not about Babis and Jagr's home turf and their Crimean trips. Even fat Kim of North Korea parade's with his daughter aka a girl in front of the rockets..Marines called Markle as Mata Harry, that exPM falls and rises with Markle as an abuse of the power and more serious stuff linked to UK princess and NATO army security than his illegal subsidies in the case that will continue with numerous appeals and playing about time than his Cray timing about the election of Czech President. He will not get there. He gets just a bigger blame and huge punishment linked to Markle. Marketa candy co watches him and autographs of Nagano gold medailist's son in Sherbrook or a brother of Columbus Blue Jackets prospect getting a play as a 26 yrs old junior with huge ice time. M waits until Harry finishes his whacking his drivel and Czech elections with more stuff. Her book out and so more stuff...it is not read and react but read and dictate the game, Jagr's political chum in cobra lullaby led into mine field as she called him stupid for getting BAbis and Bures with the same number of letters and places for vocals as well as the same letters, stupid like 4 bit show girl Markle than 264 bit encryption. Lion King, not by Markle leaving Royal Marines behind. M is a lion cub not a dove. Out of ice hockey topic, poking a bear in dangerous murky waters outside 9f Czech carp pond. Rambling about Marketa and ice hockey by hiring Czech NHLers David Krejci or prospects by Czech police for recruitment by exPM is nonsense. Not Margaret Maultasch. Little Big Horn.