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haddonfieldwhore · 4 months

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i miss you, i’m sorry - matthew tkachuk

matthew tkachuk x fem!reader

summary: you go with your bf to a hockey game; he is unaware of your history with one of the players (please read warnings!)

warnings: abusive bf, violence, strong and derogatory language, angst, a few uses of y/n

word count: 3k

you felt like you hadn’t been able to breathe properly in hours, sitting rigid like a stone next to mike, who’s mood has only deteriorated as the night went on. mike was a diehard coyotes fan, and had brought you to the game with him last minute when his friend had cancelled last minute.

“are you sure none of your other friends would want to go? they would probably have more fun than i would,” you had offered, desperately trying to get out of going.

“they’re all busy,” he replied. “i know you hate hockey, but can you try to have a good time, for me?” he asked sweetly, pulling you into his arms. you weren’t fooled by his tone; you would go and you would enjoy it, you didn’t have a choice.

“okay,” you smiled, and he kissed you softly before going to your shared room to get ready. you sighed, trying to figure out how you were going to make it through this game. you didn’t hate hockey - you used to love it actually, but when you started dating mike you chose to keep that part of your life a secret. it seemed silly at face value, but there was a bigger secret you were hiding from him, and you asked the universe why it had to be the panthers that arizona was playing tonight.

a little less than two years ago, you had dated their star player, matthew tkachuk for almost a year, before the travel and hectic schedule got to be too much for you, and you decided to leave; the hardest thing you had ever done. the relationship had been kept pretty quiet thankfully, no traces of it online except for one or two group photos from when you were together still floating around instagram; though you had done all you could to erase any evidence.

if mike found out, you honestly weren’t sure how he would react; but you knew it wouldn’t be good. you had met mike a few months after you and matthew broke up, and he was nice enough, until he wasn’t. he kept up the good guy just long enough for you to move in and become dependant on him, and suddenly you found yourself trapped. things were okay most of the time, but if he got angry, sometimes you got caught in the crossfire. he had only actually hit you once, but he yelled, and would sometimes grab you too hard, leaving you with bruises to cover before he could see them; he had the audacity to say that they made him upset.

he had been in a good mood when you got to the arena, and you were thankful that your seats weren’t too close to the ice, though you shuddered at the possibility of matthew seeing you in the crowd, despite how slim the chance was. you hadn’t seen him since they day you broke up, and as the familiar head of curly hair came out from the tunnel, skating on to the ice as part of the starting line up, your heart felt like it was being twisted in a vice.

you missed him. you missed your friends on the team, having grown pretty close to some of the guys, as well as their girlfriends. you hadn’t heard from any of them since leaving; it was too hard at first, and then it became a safety concern. any connection to your former life meant more risk of mike finding out about matthew, and that couldn’t happen.

“can you at least look like you want to be here?” mike whispered in your ear, and you knew it wasn’t a suggestion. you put on a smile, and thankfully it was good enough, as he turned his attention back to the players on the ice.

the game started off a bit slow, however the panthers had a 1-0 lead at the end of the first, and through the second as well. the coyotes were playing pretty rough, getting quite a few penalties for some dirty hits, all while mike cheered them on, booing the refs anytime they called a penalty on arizona. you watched as one of floridas players, nick cousins, ran into one of the coyotes while he was low on the boards, the hit landing on his shoulders or maybe his head, you couldn’t really tell. another coyote skated up and checked nick face first into the boards; hard. he hadn’t been looking that way and had no warning to protect himself, and you watched in distress as he crumbled to the ice, and you were worried he was unconscious.

nick had been one of your closest friends while you were dating matt, and your heart pounded as you watched him struggle to his feet.

“that pussy folded like a piece of paper!” mike laughed, enjoying every second of him getting hit. floridas players jumped on the guy who had laid the hit on nick, defending their fallen teammate as a fight broke out, sending players from each team into the penalty box. mikes mood dropped with each second of the refs deliberating passed, the officials eventually awarding nearly 20 penalty minutes to forsling for florida, as well as enough penalty minutes to arizona to give the panthers a man advantage.

“that’s fucking bullshit!” he screamed, the crowd of arizona fans not happy about the decision either. you said nothing as mike spilled some of his fourth beer on your lap, just thankful it hadn’t got on his spare coyotes jersey that he had insisted you wear. as the players got ready to continue the game, you looked across the ice, locking eyes with the one person you hoped you could avoid more than anything. something flashed in his eyes as he saw you, but his attention was quickly back to the game as the whistle blew, and soon the second period was over and he was gone down the tunnel for intermission.

the coyotes scored in the third to tie the game, but the panthers got the lead back, scoring twice in close succession. matthew looked to you after putting the puck in the net, and it took everything in you to ignore him. mike was livid at this point, the alcohol not helping in the slightest, and you cringed internally as he grabbed your hand, holding it way too tight.

forsling finally came out of the penalty box after serving 17 minutes, and immediately scored an empty netter, solidifying a 4-1 victory for florida. with 2 minutes left in the game, mike dragged you out to the concession area. matthews eyes noticed your empty seats, and his heart dropped, wondering if he had imagined you even being there in the first place.

downstairs, mike pushed you against the brick wall next to the restroom.

“wait here. i gotta piss before we leave,” looking at the long lineup already formed outside the men’s room. the arena was small, and there were limited washrooms, so you had a feeling this was gonna take a while, but you dared not move from your spot against the wall.

you could hear the final buzzer go, and the florida players began walking out from ice level, and you realized that they had to walk through the main area to get to the visitors locker room, and your blood ran cold. most of the panthers paid no mind to you, but you held your breath as you saw matthew approaching, praying that he ignored you like the others had.

he thankfully didn’t say anything, but your eyes locked for the second time that night as he passed by, disappearing down the hall and into the locker room. your foot tapped anxiously on the floor, grinding a small piece of gravel under your shoe as you willed mike to hurry the fuck up.

10 minutes went by, and you exhaled in relief as he finally appeared, not even caring about the death grip he took on your wrist as he literally dragged you behind him towards the exit.

“y/n?” a familiar voice called, and you hoped with all you had that mike would ignore it and keep walking. “wait- y/n.” mike stopped, causing you to bump into his back with how fast you were following behind him. he turned around, and you were sure he was quite confused as to why matthew tkachuk was calling after you.

“what the hell do you want?” mike asked, looking matt up and down before turning to you, still holding you tight. “do you know this asshole?”

“no, let’s go home,” you pleaded, but he wasn’t budging.

“you got the wrong girl.” mike shrugged. “shouldn’t you be circle jerking with the other guys in the locker room right now?” he spat, still bitter about his team losing the game.

“i told them to start without me,” matthew joked dryly, and you could feel his eyes on you, however yours were glued to the floor.

“funny,” mike replied. “let’s go,” he pushed you in front of him to leave.

“wait, y/n - please.”

“i’m sorry, you have the wrong person.”

“yeah, chucky,” mike laughed. “you must be thinking of some other whore. i’m sure there’s a lot of desperate chicks around here that would suck your cock though, so stop talking to mine.”

“you really shouldn’t talk about women like that,” matthew threatened, and while his tone sounded calm, you knew he was furious.

“or what? what, you want to fight or something?” mike asked. you noticed a few people gathering to watch, either out of concern or just to see matthew, but you knew this wasn’t going to end well.

“baby, can we please just-“

“shut up!” he shoved you and you fell to the floor, landing hard on your ass, before punching matthew in the face. matthew swung a fist at mikes face, hitting him square in the jaw. your eyes widened in horror as mike swung more drunken punches back at matt, and people backed away from the fight. you looked down the hall to see a familiar face, and you called out to your former friend.

“carter!” his eyes snapped up from his phone and he took out an airpod before he noticed the fight, and he quickly pulled matthew off of mike with the help of security guards that had come to help break up the situation. you stared at the ground in front of you again, feeling like the room was spinning and wishing that the floor would open up and swallow you. security handcuffed mike and escorted him out of the building, while carter and another security officer took matthew back down the hall towards the locker room.

an officer asked you to come with him, and he took you to an empty office room to take a statement about what happened. you just hoped matthew wouldn’t get in too much trouble.

•

when you left the office, there were thankfully little to no fans left in the arena, the hallways eerily empty as you walked towards the door. before you could reach it though, something - or someone - made you pause. you looked back down the hall to the locker room, and with a sigh walked towards it. you knocked on the door, your heart hammering against your ribcage as it opened, one of the team staff looking at you.

“i’m sorry, you can’t be back here-“

“it’s fine. she’s a friend,” carter interrupted her, opening the door to let you in. the room was empty, the team having already left, and you forced yourself to look at carter.

“are you okay?” he asked, and you nodded.

“thank you. i’m sorry-“

“don’t, it’s not your fault.” he opened his arms and you fell into them, hugging him tightly. “chuckys just getting patched up in the medic room. mostly procedure that they have to check him after a fight - usually it only happens during a game though,” he joked, and you found yourself smiling for real for the first time that night.

“is he in a lot of trouble?”

“no more than he normally gets himself into. it’ll be fine, y/n,” he assured you, but you were still worried there might be some legal repercussions. deciding there was nothing you could do about that right now, you managed to push the thought away and sat down on a bench in the locker room.

“you waiting around for him?” verhaeghe asked, and you nodded, eyes on the floor again.

“yeah. i think i’d be a shitty person not to.”

“you could never be a shitty person,” he smiled. “we miss you. chucky especially.” you looked up at him sadly.

“i miss you guys too.”

the medic door opened with a creak, and matthew walked out. you kept your eyes on your feet, counting the laces on your shoes over and over again.

“i’ll see you later,” carter said goodbye to both of you before leaving the room. you didn’t dare look up as matthew walked over slowly and sat down next to you, leaving space between you as his gaze lingered on you.

“you waited,” he said softly.

“yeah…. i don’t think i should have, but i wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“you wanted to make sure i was okay?” he laughed softly. “yeah, i’m okay.” he said, and an awkward silence filled the room. “was he always like that?” he asked gently, and you shook your head sadly.

“nope,” you said bitterly, eyes growing wet with tears. “he was perfect at first. until he wasn’t.”

“i’m sorry.”

“don’t be. it’s not your fault.”

“i still am. you don’t deserve to be treated like that.” you didn’t reply, knowing he was right. “y/n, you haven’t even looked at me.” he hand touched yours on the bench next to you, his touch so soft and gentle it was unfamiliar.

you turned your head towards him, and his heart broke at your sad expression. his lip was split open, red and forming a bruise already. you reached for his face without thinking, pulling your hand back before you went too far.

“what do you want me to say?” you whispered, a tear rolling down your cheek. with the carefulness of someone touching glass, he brushed it off your face, and you closed your eyes, leaning into his touch.

“do you have somewhere to stay tonight?” he asked, somewhat ignoring your question. he didn’t want you to say anything, he just wanted to make sure you were safe.

“i can figure something out,” you said, going through the options in your head; likely a hotel or sleeping in your car.

“please, i would feel a lot better if i knew you were somewhere safe. i have an extra bed in my hotel room-“

“no, matthew. i can’t do this.”

“do what?” he asked.

“this,” you gestured between the two of you. “thank you for protecting me, but i can’t let myself be near you. it’s too hard.”

“please,” his blue eyes looking in yours. the smell of his cologne wafted to your nose, filling you with a sense of safety that only he could ever bring you.

“okay,” you nodded.

•

the drive to the hotel was short and silent, but you felt at ease for the first time all night. the more time you spent with him, the more it felt like no time had passed; like things were back to how they were before. matthew held your hand the whole drive, his thumb drawing little circles on the back of it gently, his touch like a feather.

you got up to the hotel room and he grabbed a t-shirt from his suitcase for you.

“you a coyotes fan now?” he teased, and you laughed. matthew hadn’t realized how much he missed the sound, but did he would do anything to hear it again and again.

“not by choice,” you laughed, pulling mikes jersey over your head, putting the t-shirt over your undershirt you had on.

“did he know about -“

“no,” you shook your head, dropping the jersey in the small garbage can, and matthew cracked a smile. “he probably wouldn’t have liked it very much.”

“i’m sorry, i don’t mean to -“

“it’s okay. i know. how’s your lip?” you asked, still feeling guilty about it.

“it’s not my first split lip. i’ll live,” he smiled.

“is nick okay?” you asked, remembering the nasty hit during the game.

“he wasn’t feeling too hot after that. i’m not sure yet,” he admitted, and you nodded, before covering your mouth as a yawn slipped past your lips. “come on, sleepyhead, let get you to bed.”

you nodded, dragging your exhausted body into the nearest of the two queen sized beds. matthew tucked you into bed, leaning down to kiss your forehead, and you reached for his hand before he could walk away.

“lay with me?” you asked sleepily, knowing it was selfish to use him as a safety net right now; but you felt you would fall apart without him.

“are you sure?” he asked, and you nodded. he crawled into bed next to you, letting you cling to him like a life raft. “you’re safe now. i won’t let anyone hurt you, baby, i promise.”

“i know, matty,” you snuggled into him, everything about him bringing you comfort you hadn’t felt since you left; his scent, his voice, the feeling of his arms around you. “i missed you.”

“god, i missed you to. i don’t want to let you go again.”

“please don’t,” you begged, your eyes wet with tears that fell onto the fabric of his shirt, your fingers gripping it so tight your knuckles hurt. “don’t let me go.”

“i won’t.”

you felt like you were dreaming; what had started as a nightmare turning into the first time you had felt safe in months. you were scared that you would wake up and it hadn’t been real - you would be next to mike in his apartment, the cold draft from the window on your side of the bed would prickle you skin like it always did and you would have to apologize for not having his lunch ready for work.

but instead you would wake up in the arms of someone who actually cared about you, the sun peeking through the cracks of the blinds, casting warmth onto your skin. along with it, matthew brought a light to your life that had been missing for so long, you thought it was lost for good.

matthew pressed another soft kiss to your forehead as you felt yourself falling asleep, knowing you were protected as long as he was next to you.

“thank you matty,” you murmured, barely awake as you nose brushed the side of his jaw, your face tucked into the crook of his neck.

“anything for you.”

disclaimer: all screenshots, events, and/or interactions depicted in this are a work of fiction. i have no association with any parties mentioned

#nhl #nhl fic #nhl imagine #real person fiction #nhl players #matthew tkachuk x reader #matthew tkachuk fic #matthew tkachuk imagine #matty tkachuk #matthew tkachuk #tkachuk #hockey imagine #hockey fic #hockey player #hockey #florida #panthers #florida panthers

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haddonfieldwhore · 4 months

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jealousy, jealousy - matthew tkachuk

matthew tkachuk x fem!reader

summary: it takes a bit of help from your friends for matthew to admit his feelings for you

warnings: language, drinking (don’t drive impaired!), implied smut, jealous matty (duh)

word count: 1.3k

“dude, we’re supposed to be celebrating, why do you look so grumpy?” carter asked matthew, who swirled the ice around in his drink as he stared across the bar. carter followed his gaze, his eyes landing on you and a tall guy with dark hair, the man obviously flirting with you as you stared up at him with a smile. “oh, i get it.”

“get what?” matthew snapped.

“you’re jealous that she’s talking to him and not you.”

“i am not jealous. but she’s supposed to be celebrating with us, not ditching us for some guy who’s staring at her like she’s a piece of meat.” matthew scowled, finishing his drink in one gulp and placing the empty glass down on the table with a thud. carter laughed, shaking his head slightly at his friend and leaned over to sam bennett.

“see, jealous,” he whispered, and matthew shot him a glare, but didn’t say anything as he got up and walked over the bar to get another drink.

“i don’t know what to tell you, he’s been in love with her for years. he just doesn’t realize it,” sam told him, taking a sip of his drink.

“she doesn’t realize it either,” nick laughed.

“maybe they just need a little push,” carter suggested.

“is that a good idea?” nick asked, unsure of what carter was planning.

“whatever he has in mind, probably not,” sam grumbled. “just don’t piss chucky off too much, okay? if we want this win streak to keep going we need you in one piece,” he joked, patting verhaeghe on the shoulder. he gave a nod in response, finishing his drink before looking over at you.

“perfect timing. wish me luck,” he said, watching as the guy who had been hitting on you walked away, leaving you all alone.

carter strolled over to you, and you greeted your friend with a smile, feeling slightly buzzed from the alcohol, but not quite drunk yet.

“hey.”

“hey,” he replied. “you wanna dance?”

“sure,” you laughed, dragging him into the sea of bodies on the dance floor. his hands rested on your hips as you danced around, having the time of your life. you were oblivious to the pair of blue eyes locked on you, while carter could feel them burning a whole in him.

“what’s he doing?” he asked sam as he sat back down at their table.

“i think they call it dancing,” he teased. “why do you care so much?”

“i don’t.”

“bullshit,” nick disagreed, and matthew rolled his eyes.

“if you want to dance with her, just ask her,” sam suggested. matthew sipped his drink in silence, his eyes watching the way carter was touching you, spinning you around until you were face to face.

he thought about the way that carter could probably smell your perfume, a mix of amber and sandalwood, and he bet he could even feel your breath on his lips. he bet he was thinking about kissing you, and the idea of it made him furious, his hand clutching his glass so tight he thought it might break.

“chucky -“

“what?” he snapped, looking at sam.

“you like her.”

“we’re friends-“

“bullshit.”

“so what if i did? she doesn’t feel the same.”

“how do you know?” nick asked.

“she’s never said anything,” matthew shrugged.

“neither have you,” sam pointed out, and matthew sighed. maybe he was right.

“it doesn’t matter. it looks like i’ve missed my shot,” matthew sipped his drink, watching you and carter dance; mostly watching you.

“i wouldn’t give up so easily if i were you,” sam replied, and matthew hoped he was right.

the guys watched with a smile as matthew got up and walked over to you and carter. he looked like he wanted to punch verhaeghe in the face, instead they watched as you greeted him with the biggest smile they had seen from you all night.

“mind if i take over for a bit?” matthew asked, and carter stepped back, patting him on the back as he walked by, heading back to the table.

“that was a risky move, swaggy,” sam laughed as he sat back down.

“yeah, i think he’ll forgive me though,” he smiled as they all looked over at you and matthew.

“so you seem to have found your groove again, goals in the last three games? nice work matty.”

“are you saying i sucked?” he asked with a smile, his hands on your waist as he held you close to him, your bodies almost flush against eachother as you looked up at him.

“i didn’t say that,” you laughed. “you were still better than most of the players in the league. now you’re just playing like your old self again.”

“yeah, it feels good,” he smiled, happy to be meeting people’s expectations again; not that he really cared what most of them thought. but he had to admit, hearing it from you made him feel pretty damn good.

“carter must be in a good mood, he never wants to dance,” you laughed, and matthew bit his tongue so he wouldn’t say something rude.

“yeah, the win streak has us all in pretty good spirits,” he said instead, inhaling the scent of your perfume and watching the way your necklace sparkled in the lights.

“you looked upset earlier,” you commented, thinking back to the look on his face when he was sat at the table. “is something bothering you?”

“no, it’s-“ he took a deep breath. “i was just….”

“what is it matty?” you asked, staring up at him with your beautiful eyes, a concerned look on your face as your hand reached up to play with the curls at the base of his neck.

“fuck it,” he mumbled, before leaning down at pressing his lips to yours. you were stunned at first, but quickly kissed back, tugging on his hair gently as he pulled you closer, your other hand resting on his chest.

“he actually did it,” nick laughed back at their table, and he clinked his glass against sam and carters as they laughed at their friend.

“took him long enough,” sam shook his head with a smile. “even back in calgary he had a thing for her.”

when you separated for air, you stared up at matthew, waiting for an explanation.

“i’ve wanted to do that for a really long time.”

“so what you were trying to say is that you were jealous?” you teased playfully, and he blushed lightly.

“i-“ he sighed. “yeah alright; i was.”

“why didn’t you say something sooner?”

“i didn’t know if you felt the same way,” he shrugged, his fingers playing with the hem of your top, and you leaned up to kiss him again.

“well, now that you know… are we gonna stand here all night or are you gonna take me home?” you asked, and he raised an eyebrow.

“you sure?” he asked, a gleam in his eyes as the corner of his mouth twitched upward.

“i mean, if you’d rather stay here with the guys we can-“

“fuck that, let’s go,” he smiled as he dragged you by your wrist gently but quickly towards the door. your table laughed as you guys walked by without a word, and carter was pleased that his plan had worked.

matthews hand didn’t leave your thigh the whole drive to his place as you sat in the passenger seat, pleading with him to not run every red light to get you home faster.

“relax,” you laughed, as he leaned over to kiss you while he tapped his fingers against your thigh impatiently, waiting for the light to go green. “we have two whole days before your next game.”

“good,” he smiled, kissing you one more time as the light changed, and the car rolled forward.

“cause you’re not going anywhere.”

disclaimer: all screenshots, events, and/or interactions depicted in this are a work of fiction. i have no association with any parties mentioned

#nhl #nhl fic #nhl imagine #nhl players #real person fiction #hockey #hockey fic #matthew tkachuk x reader #matthew tkachuk fic #matthew tkachuk imagine #matty tkachuk #tkachuk #florida #panthers #florida panthers fic

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