#the way kim said ABORT

[lee-hakhyun]

Since you have no means of escape, let me tell you about my Merlin AU for ORV :D I haven't watched Merlin past some clips, making it clear, i just leveraged a very fun setting. Merlin spoilers ahead though.

Kim Dokja is the warlock servant who gets unceremoniously tied to Prince Yoo Joonghyuk by the whims of fate, meant to help guide him to become the Once and Future King. KDJ must keep this sunfish safe from perilous situations while hiding his magic, because magic is outlawed in the *flips notes* N'gai Kingdom.

Among this cast is fellow servant Yoo Sangah (Gwen), the king's ward Han Sooyoung (Morgana), a dragon in the basement (either Abyssal Black Flame Dragon or the Fourth Wall) the knights Lee Hyunsung and Jung Heewon, and on and on it goes.

In my head things would probably run similar enough to the show with the exception that every once in a while KDJ sees some strange cloaked figure that he can just feel the magic brimming off of, helping him in subtle ways when things get really tough. Who is that secretive figure helping him out?

KDJ kind of lets his guard down, able to trust this seemingly friendly (if extremely gruff) man with his magic in a way he can't with YJH. They don't have the same camaraderie, but it's still a comfortable companionship regardless.

And then this mysterious person kidnaps KDJ.

YJH and friends chase the evident sorcerer that kidnapped KDJ all the way to the ends of the Earth, having to combat power unlike any they'd seen before - until at a rift in space, this man finally uncloaks himself to reveal someone sharing YJH's face. It has to be a trick. It has to be.

But the man not a perfect reflection; he looks aged, older and wiser and with an undercurrent of grief that keeps him clutching KDJ to his side. KDJ is a warlock, the man claims. One that would, despite what YJH believes of magic practitioners, would give his heart and his life for over and over an ungrateful spoiled prince until he had nothing left to give.

And then he jumps into the portal. Into a parallel timeline/potential future.

This is where we get into spoiler territory for Merlin; in the series, Morgana betrays Merlin and Arthur, and Arthur kind of dies. In this AU, HSY and YJH were prophesied to experience the same thing, except KDJ gave all of his magic to abort said prophecy because it sucked and died, so now everyone in that particular future is in mourning.

Which is why, when the broken prophecy causes a rip in dimensions and into the past, YJH and HSY teamed up to nab KDJ from that other timeline. The people who MADE that prophecy though (either Olympus or the King Arthur legends from the universe of ORV's Main Story who are unhappy they didn't get the spotlight there, I'm not sure yet) are mad at KDJ for not following the prophecy and want to gank them. The future YJH (who will be referred to as SP for now) and future HSY have apparently become terrifyingly adept at fending off actual gods, but for how long? And how will KDJ get back to his original dimension?

Meanwhile, Prince YJH and friends desperately try to find a way to where SP had taken KDJ, as the rift had closed with their departure. Swallowing his pride and the biases that had started to form, he looks to powers he would never have trusted before...

(And somewhere in the future timeline, with the arrival of a reader to the world once more, a struggling writer finds himself startled to see a half-dead, malnourished young boy at his doorstep. To this boy that now rests in his home, he tells bedtime stories and fairy tales that he has no idea are now set to become another prince's adventure.)

This was very much abbreviated from the original thoughts I had, but I feel like I figured out a bit more of the details that I couldn't before (like what's going on with OD). Sorry for making your submission box my unwilling sandbox, but I hope you found some enjoyment out of it :>

[thesinglesjukebox]

KATY PERRY - "WOMAN'S WORLD"

Laughter is not an essential component of satire; in fact, there are types of satire that are not meant to be "funny" at all.

[2.15]

Joshua Lu: The prevailing narrative around Katy Perry has transformed: not just about her being a bad artist making bad music, but also about her being a bad person on top of it all. It's easy to justify every mark. "Woman's World" is dated in concept (empty feminist dribble), sound (plodding synthpop that would fit into any of her past three albums), and execution (scatterbrained music video rationalized via "it's just satire bro"). Choosing Dr. Luke as the song's producer was not only morally questionable but also marketed as her executive decision. There are bad artists who are bad people making bad music and still hugely successful; Katy Perry's inability to join those ranks is weirdly comforting, in almost a cosmic sort of way. [3]

Andrew Karpan: Rarely do songs flop by sounding so purely evil: a collage of bad taste arranged in a way that scans as faintly ominous, weird and off-putting, the sound of a dystopian future nostalgically looking back to the past.  [2]

Alex Clifton: Katy Perry is trying so desperately to have it both ways, and it muddies the message she wants to send. If we are to take “Woman’s World” as earnest, the song might’ve fueled teen feminist awakenings back in 2011 but now comes across so dated. If we are to take it as satire, then it’s a disaster as there’s zero bite or personality on display. Say what you will about Taylor Swift and her complicated relationship with feminism (and I will), but at least “The Man” had her fingerprints all over it with a few snarky zingers. There’s nothing in "Woman's World" that I can laugh at (and that’s not even considering the Dr. Luke of it all). I was rooting for Katy, I really was, but someone girlbossed too close to the sun.  [2]

Brad Shoup: A pale stick of factory-engineered cheese, where all the laughs thud and all the flexes result in pulled muscles. Perry used to be one of our very best pop panderers. Now what? [1]

Alfred Soto: Bet some of y'all want to hear her Kate Bush cover. [4]

Jonathan Bradley: She's a winner, a champion; she's a flower, she's a thorn. She's a bitch, she's a lover, she's a child, she's a mother, she's a sinner, she's a saint. But shouldn't she feel a little ashamed about failing to clear the low bar of discount Dua Lipa? [2]

Nortey Dowuona: Katy's flat, nasal soprano is produced by Kalani Thompson and Ryan OG. Both are experienced hands, but clearly they could only do so much with the take they got. The melody Katy sings in the first verse is so flat and thin that when she ramps into the chorus, she barely resolves the melody, the "it" a jarring cut before the chords resolve. Thompson and Ryan try to multitrack her voice to give it the power it doesn't have -- a trick he's learned from working with Kim Petras and The Kid Laroi, both of whom have weak yet distinctive voices -- but it doesn't work. During the second verse, the multitracked echoes below just remind the listener of the lack of depth in the main vocal, pitch corrected so noticeably that it sounds even more inhuman. Since the first and second verse play the same barely moving melody, there's very little else the producers can do. And while the hook is where their work shines, the abortive chorus and warmed-over chords prevent Katy from selling anything. If only Thompson and OG had a better vocal to work with, or a less rapist producer. [0]

Leah Isobel: I honestly don't feel anything when people work with Luke anymore. Maybe that makes me a bad survivor, or a bad feminist; I'm sure that if I said that on Twitter a bunch of transphobes would immediately jump down my throat and call me a rapist. But it's the truth. If there was a true window for accountability -- and I'm not convinced there was -- it closed when "Say So" hit number 1 and the industry was like, cool, let's toss a bunch of other young women into a room with this guy. Or maybe it closed earlier, when Kesha performed "Praying" at the Grammys and seemed to collapse into herself after the song ended, to which James Corden responded with a blank, ineffectual "Wow" before moving the show along. Maybe it closed even earlier, when Bonnie McKee compared him to the devil and said that "Dr. Luke's deals are famously bad, everyone knows that," but still credited him with launching her career; or maybe it closed when, that same year, "New Rules" became Dua Lipa's breakout hit, earning Luke's publishing arm money via the songwriter Emily Warren. Maybe it was earlier than that, when Max Martin took Luke under his wing and made some of the most beloved pop hits of the form now known as "recession pop." But honestly, it was probably earlier: when capitalism took the place of feudalism, when some British guys sailed across the Atlantic Ocean and established a society built on the exploitation of people and nature, when the music industry was built off of vaudeville and the systems of domination it valorized. When artists choose to work with Luke, they are thinking like record executives; they are often rewarded. (Quoth the prophet: "As long as everybody getting paid, right?/ Everything gonna be okay, right?") Kim Petras is the first openly transgender woman to have a #1 single, and she only got there because she signed a contract with Luke. Nicki Minaj earned her first solo #1 with "Super Freaky Girl," a Luke production. Joy Oladokun performed at the fucking White House. That's not to excuse Katy's decision, but to say that these kinds of decisions are often papered over as "compromises" instead of sacrifices. This single's anodyne synths and bland, dated uplift smack of sacrifice. Any interesting perspective is filtered out of the song and redirected toward the video, with its blunt satire and strange pops of body horror. (If I had a nickel for every time a Katy Perry video's visual metaphors made me wince, I'd have two nickels, etc.) The oddity of the whole package suggests a certain helplessness in the face of doom. If it is truly a woman's world, it's in the sense of Andrea Long Chu's edgelordy Females: "The self is sacrificed to make room for the desires of another." [3]

Aaron Bergstrom: If the erstwhile Katy Hudson never actually broke with her fundamentalist evangelical upbringing and has in fact been working as a deep cover operative trying to discredit godless feminism and destroy it from the inside, how would that look any different from what she's doing now? [1]

Jackie Powell: Katy Perry is doing a lot. She’s doing too much. She’s straddling trying to be relevant, putting out an earworm, honoring her on-brand silliness that worked over 10 years ago, all while attempting to embody the current moment where rights in America are being taken away. “Woman’s World” has been discussed alongside “Chained to the Rhythm,” which Perry put out after Donald Trump was inaugurated, but while "Chained to the Rhythm" wasn't great, it at least had some sort of message and substance. “Woman’s World” doesn’t answer why this is a woman’s world that we’re living in. It is just a list of adjectives. There’s an argument to be made that Perry is still functioning in a pre-November 8, 2016 world where Hillary Rodham Clinton was trying to make history but was too polished, calculated and apologetic to do so. But the name of the game in 2024 is being unapologetic, a little silly, and authentic. That’s why Kamala is Brat and not living in whatever suffocating universe Perry is in -- I can tell you she's not living on Chromatica, amid all of the comparisons to Lady Gaga’s “Stupid Love”. There’s one mashup on YouTube where Perry’s “Woman’s World” vocal is smashed on top of the Gaga “Stupid Love” instrumental, and the chord progressions and family of synths are indeed similar. But as usual with a Lady Gaga song, "Stupid Love" had more dissonant sounds that gave the track some intrigue and punch. I’m a firm believer in the concept that being an artist involves a certain amount of thievery. But instead of stealing like an artist—there’s a book written about that—Perry is stealing like a manufacturer or corporate bigwig without a soul, just like the incredibly flawed person who produced the track.  [3]

Katherine St. Asaph: It feels reductive. [5]

Hannah Jocelyn: There’s no incentive besides the moral one to side with the abused, and who needs morals, especially when the abuser and their enablers are this powerful? That’s why Dr. Luke came back, and why he never left, depending on who you ask. Katy sounds good here (we’re not in straining “Daisies” territory anymore), and the beat is serviceably in-your-face and refreshingly loud. If this wasn’t Luke, I wouldn’t really care about it. In any other context, I'd even like the chorus line “we ain’t going away”; post-Roe it reads as hope that societal progress won’t be entirely reversed to the '50s and/or before. But if we are, in fact, “going away,” that’s partly because of power-hungry, entitled men much like Lukasz Gottwald. It's a predator's world, always has been and maybe always will be; he's lucky to be living in it, and Katy Perry’s happy to enable it. Neat harmonies on the word “celebrate," though.  [3]

Ian Mathers: We live in the stupidest fucking dystopia, don't we? [4]

Will Adams: A failure of a lead pop single by almost every conceivable metric (sonically: uninspired; lyrically: dated; visually: contradictory; contextually: yikes), "Woman's World" deserved its intense backlash from the moment its ill-fated snippet dropped. But the dust has settled, and my impression of the song now is mostly boredom and mild fascination. It is beyond me why Perry, whose career-long brand has been cartoonish kitsch -- sharks, furniture, toilets, oh my! -- thinks she's at all equipped to deliver message music. And this was after Witness. [3]

Isabel Cole: Sometimes I feel bad for hating so thoroughly on Katy Perry, America's living embodiment of what the Madonna/whore complex does to a mf, for having not one real thought in her big empty brain, but then she'll do something like reuniting with Luke in a pathetic attempt to rewind the clock back to when the two of them were still relevant. The lyrics are giving something between "Olympics-themed sportswear ad" and "studio exec who has never had a conversation with a woman his own age discussing his vision for a female superhero project." There are pop stars in the world who can take dumb lines and make them sound like they mean something, but possibly nobody is less suited to that task than Katy Perry, whose musical identity, insofar as she has ever had one, has mostly rested on taking dumb lines and making them sound even dumber. It's not just that her voice is grating, or that she's never once in her career displayed any kind of musical intuition or finesse or really any quality one might associate with an ostensible professional singer beyond "loud"; it's that she sings like she's doing a bit. On something gleefully stupid like "California Gurls," that served her well, or at least decently: it's camp! On a song pretending at genuine sentiment -- well, arguably it's also camp, in Sontag's formulation of "failed seriousness," but it's mostly just annoying. Luke, too, apparently has had not one single idea in the decade and a half since Teenage Dream, or else maybe he thought that putting out a track that would slot neatly onto the back half of that album would subliminally fool us into thinking it was 2010 again. But it's not, and rather than nostalgia the utter banality of the sound invites incredulity: was it really worth it, for this? [0]

Taylor Alatorre: "If we ended all collaboration with Dr. Luke tomorrow – and I will, if he deserves it, if the allegations against him are proven in a court of law – would that end sexism? (Crowd: No!) Would that end toxic masculinity? (Crowd: No!) Would that end record industry gatekeeping against mold-breaking female artists? (Crowd: No!) Would that protect other artists from those predators and abusers whose careers have continued unscathed? (Crowd: No!) Would that make the public any more receptive toward a stubbornly dated electropop stomper that misidentifies ‘girl power’ as a key ingredient of Teenage Dream's success, but whose uncompromising Moroder pulse and surprisingly diva-esque vocal turn are almost enough to override its intrinsic cheugy-ness? (Crowd: confused murmurs, smattering of applause)" [4]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: I can’t write anything more clever or devastating than what the internet has already written. Katy Perry has been so completely and rightfully been savaged—for her aesthetic, singing, taste, and existence—that I almost feel sympathetic toward her. Just not quite.  [0]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Defies even post-post-ironic enjoyment — no thinkpiece, no stannish counterfactual interpretation, no attempt to toss this into a running playlist or daily mix will survive exposure to this complete void. It's hard to even discern what she was trying to do here. [1]

Will Rivitz: Was she satirizing chart success too? [2]

Kayla Beardslee: I want to weigh in with my score, but everyone has already roasted this song so thoroughly, I don’t have anything left to say. Just like Katy Perry! [0]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

Grand jury declines to indict Ohio woman who miscarried of abusing a corpse | The Washington Post

By Kim Bellware

An Ohio grand jury has declined to indict Brittany Watts, the 34-year-old woman charged with abusing a corpse after experiencing a miscarriage at home in a case that drew national attention to the ways women may be criminalized for their pregnancy outcomes in a post-Dobbs landscape.

The Trumbull County grand jury that had been investigating Watts’s case for a month on Thursday returned what’s known as a “no bill” for felony abuse of a corpse charges; as a result, charges against Watts will be immediately dismissed.

Trumbull County prosecutor Dennis Watkins said through a spokesperson that he plans to address the grand jury’s decision within the next day. Watkins was widely criticized for pursuing the case against Watts and was last month urged by medical and legal professionals to drop the case.

Neither Watts nor her lawyer, Traci Timko, responded to request for comment Thursday.

In a statement, Yveka Pierre, senior counsel at If/When/How, a group of reproductive rights lawyers that provided legal support in Watts’s case, said she was relieved to see the end of a “dehumanizing” case against Watts.

“Brittany should have been able to focus on taking care of herself after her pregnancy loss. She should have been able to process, and grieve with her family and community” Pierre said. “Instead, she was arrested and charged with a felony.”

Ohio Physicians for Reproductive Rights (OPRR), among the chief professional groups to condemn Watts’s charges, in a statement hailed the grand jury’s decision as a “firm step against the dangerous trend of criminalizing reproductive outcomes.”

Lauren Beene, a doctor and co-founder of OPRR, told The Washington Post Thursday that charging pregnant people like Watts who are in the midst of life-threatening complications and devastating pregnancy losses can have a chilling effect on health care; women may not be able to get the care they need or be afraid to seek out the care they need, leading to negative outcomes like higher maternal mortality.

Watts’s case also drew attention to Ohio’s existing Targeted Restrictions on Abortion Providers (TRAP) laws. Despite Ohio voters last year approving Issue 1, a law enshrining the right to abortion in Ohio’s constitution, there are about 30 TRAP laws on the books that have not been repealed and that interfere with reproductive care, Beene said.

“If people are miscarrying like Watts was and the fetus still has a heartbeat but it’s a nonviable fetus, Issue 1 should protect her,” Beene said. “But without taking down the TRAP laws, like the fetal heartbeat law, health care institutions may be afraid to provide the care and may not understand what they can and can’t do.”

The Post previously reconstructed Watts’s days leading up to her miscarriage, drawing on medical records, call recordings and interviews with Watts and her lawyer.

Watts miscarried at home last September after four days in and out of the hospital where she had been told her nearly 22-week pregnancy was not viable. There was still detectable fetal cardiac activity, which complicated how quickly a decision could be made to induce Watts, despite doctors indicating she was at increasing risk of death. Abortion in Ohio remains legal up to 22 weeks.

At home, Watts delivered a roughly 15-ounce fetus over the toilet. When blood, stool and tissue from the delivery clogged the toilet, Watts removed what she believed was blocking the flow and placed the contents in a bucket outdoors, records show. When she returned to the hospital after her delivery, a nurse who inquired about the fetus later reported Watts to police.

Police eventually removed Watts’s toilet and found the fetus lodged in the pipes. Timko, Watts’s attorney, said her client had no criminal record and was being “demonized for something that goes on every day,” but a municipal judge found there was evidence to bind Watts’s case over for a grand jury investigation.

A coroner’s report later confirmed the fetus died in utero and was not injured by Watts’s actions. Neither prosecutors nor health care workers who treated Watts disputed that her pregnancy loss was natural.

The decision to charge Watts sparked concerns among women’s health advocates and others that the risk of being criminalized for pregnancy outcomes was growing. On Thursday before the grand jury announcement, a rally in support of Watts had been scheduled in the Warren Courthouse Square. A fundraiser for Watts that began in December has raised more than $230,000.

[lindyloosims]

After moving in here, Kim lost her shop, well she didn't lose it so much as she sold it...for 20,000 simoleans. That's where the money came from. So she now has a job working for the owners of her old shop, her life was falling apart when she met me, now she's pregnant with a child she does not want and stuck in Copperdale when she's a Henford-on-Bagley native. I can't help but feel like I've made her life worse.

All I can do now is get my degree so that I can apply for a good job and provide for my family. Our bank balance is not looking so great again and Kim is approaching her third trimester. We'll scrape by though, we always do!

Kim is a high level cook, but because of her negative mood she tends to burn everything lately. It still tastes yummy but crispy. I don't complain, food is food!

When we reached the third trimester, I decided to propose. I want my son to have my last name and I want to be able to fight for him if his mother chooses to play dirty. I know she can't abort him now, but when he's born she could give him away behind my back...am I paranoid?

Either way, she surprisingly said yes and we're eloping in the morning. No fancy wedding for us. In my own way I do love Kim, is she the great love of my life? I dunno, maybe! That doesn't matter, I am responsible for the little human growing inside of her, love doesn't factor into this at all...duty does! Maybe we'll be happy, maybe this is what's meant to be...

⏮️Previous/Next⏭️

[seyoonlgc]

DEAR REDDIT.

fryingfriedchickenken: look, i am just wondering...do hookups typically cook your meals, do your laundry, have semi-deep conversations long into the night, paint and decorate your house...also risk their lives to save you? JUST CURIOUS. thanks.

damn, if that's a hookup, where can I find one?

GIRL I'd be asking "what are we" at the laundry stage LOLOL

op: 👥 redditors: 👤

most of my hookups just fuck and run until they want to fuck again

Honey, you sure she ain't in love with you?

Don't panic. DO NOT PANIC. These were just opinions of strangers on the internet and didn't mean anything. In fact, he should have not sought them at all!

Kim Seyoon, age twenty-two, was having an actual crisis in front of his laptop, chewing at his fingernails in nervousness the way he hadn't since he was seven years old. Reddit is full of shit, he thought as he busied himself rage-replying to comments that were accusing him of being a smug show-off.

Screw it, enough fidgeting. He shall deal with the situation like a man by going straight to the source. So Seyoon grabbed his cell phone and called Rowon, only to hang up after the second ring because he realized his distressed brain hadn't come up with the exact question he was going to ask. Something simple like hey, you wouldn't happen to be, like, into me or anything right? Great, that should do. Mr. Friendly Hookup could just confirm Seyoon was being silly and they'd finish the awkward conversation with a round of harmless laughter. Hahahaha!

But if he said yes.

Nope, nope, abort mission! Seyoon hung up the call before it could reach the other side, realizing he had not considered the other potential outcomes of this situation at all. UGHHH, why was this so stressful? Seyoon flopped on the couch and pulled his fluffy oversized yellow hood over his head, ready to play dead for the rest of the evening. Why did he have to suffer like this on a holiday? He wanted to enjoy his Chuseok, dang it.

[jinnyxxn]

academic rivals to lovers - kim gyuvin

genre: i sorry i forgot (idk wht to name it, maybe fluff)

warnings: mentions of some idols

pairing: gyuvin zb1 x gn! reader

Monday, 20:44 - After Course.

you didn't go to the same tutoring as gyuvin went, except, the tutoring opened a free course from your school, and the top-ranked 5 students must join.

the course is divided into sessions at different times, but you and your bestie went on an earlier session than his scheduled session. so, your course was dismissed earlier and went home earlier too.

"girl"

"yeah?"

"are you asleep?"

"no."

your 9PM conversation with your bestie, sullyoon. you can't help it seeing your best friend was heartbroken. you turned on the lights, you grab a marker from the side table and you took sullyoon's hand. opened her injured palm and draw a rainbow.

"when i was little, there was a person who drew on my hand. that person says that there's a psychological trick when you're sad, we must draw a rainbow." you turned off the lights and positioned your head on the pillow, talking in the dark with sullyoon.

"that time i don't believe it, for me, a rainbow doesn't solve a problem. a scar on your hands would never change anything. but now, i realized. it's not the rainbow that would solve your problem, but hope appears when you realize that a rainbow only appears after a rain. that means when you want to see a rainbow... you must wait for the rain to stop." you said.

"cool." she praised you.

"who's the first person who drew a rainbow on your hand?"

you giggled, "who do you think?"

sullyoon guessed. "gyuvin..?"

you snorted indignantly which makes the answer correct.

"he was there."

"at my lowest point."

"hey, do you have feelings for him?" a random question pops out from sullyoon.

"your kidding! me and gyuvin are friends since the last 18 years ago! we're neighbors too!" it's giving a bombastic side eye to her.

she giggled, "but that's it! i feel, there won't be a girl who can be friends with gyuvin for 18 years and doesn't has feelings for him!"

"why? because he's handsome, a genius, ranked 1st, and a basketball player? or because he's nice and sweet to everyone?" you replied.

sullyoon turned her head to face you and hoped to read your emotion.

"everyone... every girl who has a crush on him... will never know what gyuvin has gone through, or how hard he tried—"

you stopped, "i was there."

"but he never saw me."

your vocal sounds weak, like it can break anytime, it's like you're confessing your biggest secret.

"i thought i'll be okay. but when I see how he looks at wonyoung in the hall, in class— i realized, gyuvin will never look at me the same way he did to wonyoung" turns out you're heartbroken too.

"so what?! if gyuvin doesn't see you the same way as he sees wonyoung, that doesn't mean you are not worthless—! maybe he isn't the right person for you! maybe—"

"but i don't want the right person, sullyoon." your words are spoken without second thoughts.

"if it's not him... then it's not anyone." blank stare to your ceiling, you're hopeless.

"it's kinda dumb and stupid, but for me, a boy in this world is just one. only gyuvin." and your sleepy as you're done speaking.

and maybe there's one thing that those girlies don't realize which is a careful step back from behind the bedroom door, lowered fingers, and aborted intention of knocking.

someone who chose to go home to number 7 after overhearing a conversation he wasn't supposed to hear.

Tuesday, 22:00 PM - Late Studying

you're studying. everyday studying. the top-ranked 5 students will get a guaranteed scholarship to any school, and free school fees.

top-ranked 5 on March:

1st rank: jang wonyoung

2st rank: kim gyuvin

3rd rank: y/n

4th rank: seoll yoon-a (sullyoon)

5th rank: watanabe haruto

the original parallel ranks per tryout if wonyoung didn't suddenly move in and haruto wasn't absent on the tryout day were actually:

parallel ranks per tryout from grade 10 until grade 12 (right now):

1st rank: watanabe haruto

2st rank: kim gyuvin

3rd rank: y/n

4th rank: seoll yoon-a (sullyoon)

5th rank: han jihyo (jihan)

but since it's June, the structure of the parallel ranks on tryout was destroyed.

top-ranked 5 on June:

1st rank: watanabe haruto

2st rank: jang wonyoung

3rd rank: kim gyuvin

4th rank: y/n

5th rank: seol yoon-a (sullyoon)

it was never a healthy competition, last year, alumni got sabotaged, poisoned, and even got encephalitis (inflammation of the brain). but this year, your very last year to graduate, the school has been tense.

you're done studying and you start to clean your books. picking up some books one by one and finding a strange book. blue leather cover book. you opened the book and it's filled with formulas handwritten neatly.

you immediately knew the handwriting, it was gyuvin's. you escape your house and you went to house number 7, knowing that his parents aren't home because on duty.

you knocked on his door so loud and fast, until the owner of the room opens the door.

"what are you doing this late going to my room?" he questioned you, leaning on his door.

"you left your book idiot" you shoved his book into his hand.

"oops, sorry i forgot" he replied to you, giggling.

"whatever—"

"can you come in? i'm struggling with things and i wanted to share some things with you.."

"sure?"

you went into his room, tidy and clean, just some opened books on his desk. you sit on the edge of his bed, and the owner follows too.

"you know the new student? wonyoung?" he asked so suddenly, you raised you eyebrows and slightly narrowed your eyes. "yeah?"

"you know what's the difference between her and you?"

"no?"

he smiled and slightly tilt his head, "when i look at her or I'm nearby her, i'm amazed because she's tough and she managed to change the structure of the parallel ranks. but the thing is, no matter how pretty she is, or how smart she is, she can't make me feel like how i felt when i'm with you."

you froze in silence, processing his sentence, and speak, "what do you mean?"

he smiled, leaned closer to your face, "i have feelings for you y/n."

"but i don't have feelings for you.." you replied, slowly you moved your head further from him.

"oh yeah? then, what about your conversation yesterday night with sullyoon?" he raised his eyebrows and smirked.

"NO, YOU DID NOT HEAR IT!"

"But i do hear it, love"

"GYUVIN STOP!"

"okay darling"

"STOP!"

"okay okayy.." he laughed while you were trying to hide your blushing face.

that night, you will never forget that night. pulchritudinous night

it's my first time doing this and english aren't my first language so sorry for grammar mistakes! — jinnyxxn

[thekimspoblog]

Yet Another Synopsis/Outline of "Slippin Kimmy"

Episode 1 "November" is set in 2016. Kim is devastated by the outcome of the election, and decides she can't watch idly as the country goes to hell. She approaches Jimmy with a plan to get him released on house arrest, but he rebukes her, saying he wants to stay in prison. However with some goading by the other inmates and his general living conditions, he begins to entertain the idea. Meanwhile we see Kim training with a pistol.

For Kim, who had been volunteering at CFLA, she realized immediately the implications this would have for the women she was trying to help... and herself!

Episode 2 "Howard": This episode is mostly flashbacks to Kim's life in Florida. Her boss at CFLA, Dorothy, asks her to escort a 17 year old to get an abortion. But while they're there an active shooter incident occurs. Kim manages to disarm him, and that's how she got the pistol we saw in Episode 1. There's also a subplot fleshing out Cheryl's backstory; why she fell in love with Howard in the first place, why their marriage was failing, and now her torn between wanting revenge against Kim and just wanting to let go and move on.

Episode 3 "Just Like Magic": Kim is approached by a televangelist, a shady but flamboyant man who wants Kim to come work for him. In exchange, he says he can pull strings with the Colorado parole board. Reluctantly, Kim agrees and moves to the community in Riverton, Wyoming. There she rediscovers herself, drumming up publicity for the church with fake miracles, while sabotaging the tax-exempt status of Dawson's competitors.

The surrounding churches seriously WERE supporting conservative candidates (which as we know is against the law) whereas Dawson was an openly gay Unitarian. More libertarian than liberal, but Kim can't help but sympathize with his hatred for the government. There is a theme of corporate takeover with how Dawson is cannibalizing smaller churches, even if those churches were homophobic, but mostly Kim will come to regret helping fill Dawson's coffers. I'm not NOT ripping off "Righteous Gemstones".

The timeline of events is approximately "Episode 2, then Episode 3, then Episode 1, then Episode 4" Although all these episodes have a lot of flashbacks and flash-forwards.

Anyway we're back to the meat of the story, in winter of 2016. Jimmy's got one of those annoying ankle monitors on, but who cares! He's home, and Kim is in a hurry to make up for lost time. That's Episode 4 "Golden Rings, Golden Watches". The couple retie the knot, but meanwhile two of Dawson's most devoted followers, a brother and sister duo named Mary and Peter, are preparing to assassinate a Republican senator.

The senator dies, but Mary and Peter are spotted. Dawson offs himself to save the church from the crime being connected back to his business.

It's a little corny, but I have this mental image of Episode 4's cliffhanger being that Wexler-McGill just got done re-consumating the union, and they turn on TV and the news shows a house on fire. I haven't quite figured out how or why Kim would instinctively know this is her fault yet, but Jimmy's expression is shock and horror, while Kim is just thinking "Fuck, not again!" and then we cut to black.

I want to play with the idea of spirituality more in this series than it had been in previous BB shows. On the surface Kim only joined RUIC to help Jimmy, but the fact is some of the things Dawson said, specifically about feeling forever watched by a judgmental eye, resonated with her. Rationally, legally, Kim had no way of knowing this would happen. But her gut instinct knew she was falling in with extremists and she ignored it.

Episode 5 "Better Build an Ark" is mostly dealing with the fallout from the previous episode. Without a leader, the congregation is in chaos. Meanwhile Mary and Peter are on the lam when Peter is killed by police. Having always had a codependent relationship with her little brother, Mary is devastated and it takes a toll on her sanity. Jimmy is suspicious; Kim's been scaring him a little for months now, and he demands to know what Kim knew and when she knew it. Ultimately, Kim figures out how to commandeer the business and appoint herself president of RUIC's treasury.

Episode 6 is a flashback to a point between Episode 3 and Episode 1. Episode 6 is just called "Your Mom". The cold-open confirms that Kim was at least dealing with a pregnancy scare during the events of BCS Season 6. And then the next scene is one long dialogue where Kim tracks down her mother and attempts to "forgive" her, only for Loraine Wexler to say she's not sorry... for anything. Then the second act is a bottle episode where we check back in with Skyler, Flynn, and Marie.

Mostly, Marie has gotten into deep shit with the kleptomania, and even if Skyler isn't as predisposed to "The Game" as Kim is, Skyler is still crafty enough to pull her sister out of a jam. They end up reconciling now that both their dickhead husbands are gone.

Episode 7 "What do you mean by EVIL?": Kim discovers Mary hiding in the church so Kim pulls a gun on her. What ensues is a protracted debate about the ethics of vigilante justice, and hopefully I can avoid it sounding formulaic. Interspersed with this are flashbacks where we finally learn Dawson's backstory; back in the 70's, Dawson moved to LA hoping to become a producer/director. But he was never able to break through and instead started experimenting with various counter-cultural movements, everything from occultism to secessionists. This is where he met his May-December romance with an older mentor figure, and the pair traveled all along the west coast. In Albuquerque, Dawson made the acquaintance of Ricky Sipes, a name you might remember.

Sipes was incensed that Saul was willing to help the cartels but not him, but he never gave up his plans for a micronation. Eventually he found a second plot of land in Wyoming, somewhere remote where law enforcement could be easily bought-off. Sipes hired Dawson to be a religious/community leader, but the pair had a falling out over whether the community should allow gay marriage. Dawson ultimately killed Ricky so he could marry his husband without objection. Caleb and his husband had over a decade of happy years together, but by the time Kim joined the picture, he was a widower. It's one reason he was so ready to off himself at the first sign of trouble.

Back in the present day of January 2017, Kim and Mary are stuck basically playing out an homage to "Under the Red Hood". Mary says her home was destroyed in a landslide Senator Cooke caused; that's why she killed him. Kim says revenge is never the answer. Mary says this wasn't about revenge; Cooke was lethally negligent and the System wasn't bringing him to justice; this was preemptive self-defense. Kim tries to make counter-arguments, but Mary can't be dissuaded. Mary says that if Kim won't be her accessory after the fact, Kim should just go ahead and kill her. She just wants to see her brother again. Kim refuses to do either and - for all her disillusionments with the law - calls the police. But they take forever to get there. Mary tackles Kim and steals the pistol, then escapes out the door.

Episode 8: "Pirouette": The action is dying down; Kim can breathe again. But managing the church means being the center of attention in a way Kim was never really comfortable with, even if it comes naturally to her husband. Finally, she tells him that she wants a child. She expects him to be overjoyed, but instead Jimmy puts together that she had this planned as far back as Episode 1, and she lied by omission, because she knew he would say no if she had asked him in prison. He feels like a chump! And when Kim finds out that the congregation was relying on Dawson to supply them with narcotics, Jimmy tells her that if she gets involved in dealing drugs he'll leave her for good this time. So instead they try to help the whole church go cold turkey.

We also get more flash forwards to ~25 years later. The future Kim's children inherit isn't full-on dystopia, but it's pretty close. Climate change has caused a severe drought in the western hemisphere. The US dollar has collapsed, leaving a patchwork of digital currencies and bartering for water as the basis for the economy. Various oligarchic city-states are as hard to enter as they are to leave. And in the season finale, we find out what was inside the time capsule the daughter, Iris, dug up: evidence of election fraud in the Wyoming senate. What will our post-apocalyptic survivor do with this information? Stay tuned 'til Season 2!

The final shot of the season is Kim and Jimmy riding in a hot air balloon; one of the many perks of assuming control of Dawson's estate. Thom York's "Suspirium" plays over a montage of what Kim imagines the rest of her life to be, both the good and the bad.

[boyswanna-be-her]

Today was a banner day escorting patients past the anti-abortion protesters (I'll just call them "antis" from now on, which is what all the other volunteers call them). There were TONS of appointments today and plenty of antis--including Wayne, the LOUDEST man on their crew, who I absolutely hate, who has assaulted a volunteer, who ALWAYS talks to me and tries to get my goat (not possible--goat gone, watch for finger).

In an incredible turn of events, 4 volunteers showed up to escort. I'm using Wayne's real name but let's keep it real for the volunteers--no identifying info. Volunteer Robert and I have been there together TONS because nobody else has been coming. Volunteer Sue was one of the first people I met and I love her so much--she comes once a week. And volunteer Matty was a new-to-me volunteer who has been out a few times.

I started playing music at the site weeks ago to keep up my own morale, and we quickly discovered that among the volunteers, I had the loudest speaker. Of course playing music for us escalated to playing music to troll them (i can have a little petty behavior, as a treat).

Then this week I... bought a louder speaker.

One thing Wayne loves to do is to stand outside the waiting room windows and pray and chant and harass and sing at the people inside. Unfortunately, it's quite audible.

Usually when all the patients are in, it's the time when the volunteers get to mostly chill and catch up, so when I saw Wayne handing out fucking sheet music to his anti cronies, my blood pressure was already up. They went up and down singing and singing and I just followed them on our side of the property line (it's legally pretty muddy but we have enough of a berth that they're a car's length from the windows) with my speaker in hand. I have a playlist now, of course.

At one point, Volunteer Sue gestured at anti Kim who was booking it down the road and said something about how ridiculous it was, the way that Kim chases these people just trying to leave.

I said "I feel like the Benny Hill Theme should be playing every time she does that." And then it hit me that I had a speaker and I could absolutely make that happen.

The next time Wayne et al lined up to yell-pray at the window, I pulled out Yakety Sax and put my speaker on its highest setting. At this point I was really fucking done with them shitting on my quality time with people I enjoy, so I was a little in his face about it (he's larger than I am and taller), just cancelling out his loud praying with my loud Yakety Sax.

I've done a lost of testing walking around to see the way that my music travels because I don't want to bother the surrounding businesses of course (and I don't want to get myself into trouble with the clinic). I really only turn it up when everyone is inside because booming music isn't super welcoming for patients who are already in a bonkers fucking environment. But the speaker at full volume is startlingly loud up close, can't be heard once you're in a car or office.

I am usually completely non confrontational with the antis. What I get off on is shaming them by letting their own idiot words hang in the air when they say them and smiling back at them. But I swear I just woke up knowing that Wayne was gonna be there and get under my skin. Not today fucker. Your skin is MINE.

So Yakety Sax was VERY well received by the volunteers and innocent people in the parking lot, and you have to imagine it being played while someone AGGRESSIVELY prays at a closed window. The other three volunteers were literally stood up behind me, all with full-size rainbow umbrellas and rainbow hi-viz vests, and they were laughing it up (antis HATE it when we laugh at them holy shit does it darken their days!).

I was shaking from adrenaline because this man was in my face but I held the speaker up and pulled up "Entry of the Gladiators" to queue as the next song. Yakety Sax finished up, Spotify helped with a crossfade to ensure no silent moments, and the Gladiators began their fucking Entry.

Wayne was NOT having it. Never would I ever have thought that playing circus music at a grown man would make him lose his temper, but yes, this move fully fucked with the old man's head. Temper gone, chili stirred. He started yelling his prayer literally as loud as he could into my face.

I stood there and took it. His little buddies were visibly unhappy with how it was abruptly escalating. I stood there and took it. Like full minutes passed, I was glad I had a second circus song queued because I needed it. The time dilation was real, and I gotta say having an adult man yell a prayer in your face for 3-5 minutes really makes time go by slow.

During that time, things were also escalating on our side, as Volunteers Robert and Matty had started hollering at Wayne to back up (oh yeah, forgot to mention that I started out a good legal distance from him but he crossed over onto our property line so that he could properly yell in my face). So it was just cacophony, full blast three men in a triangle around me yelling at each other while "Bozo's Song" was blaring.

At that point, when my side started yelling back, I felt like I might actually be in danger--and at the same moment that occurred to me, I realized how powerful it would be to just stop the music abruptly and walk away. So that's what I did. My side was silent immediately. Wayne continued pray-yelling as loud as he could--but he knew he couldn't get away with following me so he stayed at the window, his friends visibly dismayed, wondering if they should intervene.

I just wanted to make him look dumb, not piss Wayne off more, but me walking away made him go NUCLEAR. I think it was that he knew he'd shown his ass, but also that he could no longer yell at me or harass me because I'd removed myself.

I was very shaken up but proud of myself. Robert and I backed our hatchback trunks up to each other to form like a shady spot for all the volunteers, so I hopped into my open trunk and grabbed a soda and tried to chill myself out.

When I looked up, the clinic OWNER was making a beeline for Wayne. I didn't even realize the clinic owner was in town. Honestly I wouldn't have provoked Wayne if I had because doing this is important to me and I don't want to upset the big boss or give her any reason to tell me not to come back. When I saw her, my heart really dropped.

The other three volunteers had stayed there with the praying group. When the owner came out, Wayne turned his fury on her. I was too far away to hear what was going on. I was so ready for her to make a beeline to ME after Wayne.

IDK if Volunteer Robert ran interference for me with her on purpose or not, but the escort solidarity was strong today and the other volunteers implied that everything that went down had been a group decision. Owner never even came over to talk to me, so I learned secondhand that she wasn't mad at me at all. They couldn't hear my music, even at full volume, but they could hear Wayne yelling!!! And he sounded like a scary crazy idiot! Way to court people to your side, boo boo the white supremacist fool.

Once I knew for sure that I wasn't in trouble, though, holy shit yall. Getting Wayne to embarrass himself in front of such a crowd today is NOT something I could've predicted for myself. Top 10 in the Kelly Highlight Reel for ya boy today. I'll be riding off the sheer bliss of fucking up his day for years, probably.

Wayne IMMEDIATELY removed himself from the scene (or they told him to fuck off, who knows) so we didn't get anything more from him until the volunteers spotted him in his truck, stopping to talk to the cop. He had to drive directly in front of us to get out of the parking lot so I said, "hey let's say goodbye to Wayne!" and the four of us lined up and leaned on our cars and smiled big at him.

He rolled the window down and before we could say anything (we weren't going to) and he said in a sarcastic voice, "I know, I know, go fuck myself," and roared off, leaving us in hysterics, possibly the only funny thing Wayne has ever done in his whole life.

[kpspectre]

A Quickie

Just a little face fuck story loosely set in the Learning What's Possible story. Hope you enjoy. *SMUT - This is SMUT* Kim was Ron’s girlfriend, and while they might play with domination and submission, there was nothing but love and support there. With Monique sex more carnal and competitive, but no less respectful or considerate. Bonnie though…

“Choke on me, slut!”

Bonnie was just a set of holes.

Holding his former bully by the back of her head, Ron kept her down on his dick for a full ten count before letting her back up. The meticulous make up she’d probably spent ten minutes applying before meeting him must have been high quality because it was only barely starting to streak and smear after the abuse he’d been showing her face. Her panting sounded wet and a single strand of drool hung from her chin. The glare he might’ve expected for such treatment though never materialized. She simply sucked in a couple of sloppy breaths then opened her mouth again. “You really are a slut.” He snickered before dragging her face back down into his lap. 

Maybe it was getting to pay back years of bullying. Or anger at the way she’d treated Kim. Hell, maybe it was the fact that she’d come out to his car instead of meeting him in the mall, still refusing to be seen in public with him. Or it could be as simple as just how fucking good her throat felt. Whatever the reason, Ron found himself going harder and harder, using her hair to drag her up and down his cock without a shred of remorse or consideration. And he was only getting hornier. High on the power of his position he pushed the car door open with his free hand and slid out of his seat. 

Bonnie had to scramble across the center console to follow him, her expression finally growing annoyed. “What the hell? Somebody might see m - us.” She corrected quickly but they both heard the aborted “me”. Any tenderness he’d had left evaporated. “Then you better finish me off before they do. We’re at the top of the garage. I can see the stairs up and we’ll hear anybody driving up.” He slapped his sloppy dick into her cheek. “If you’re good, I might even let you stop.” For a moment she hesitated, then she scowled and pushed forward violently, swallowing him again even as she dropped into a squat. He let her work, enjoying the aggression. This was what made them work. Well, this and… Pressure peaked, his head throbbing and he grabbed her by the hair again, taking over for the final rush. A handful of rapid fire thrusts, balls slapping her chin and head filling her throat, and he came. She spluttered but didn’t try to push away, doing her best to swallow it. When he’d finished, he released her hair, letting her rock backwards off of him and said. “Show me.” She did, opening her mouth and sticking out her tongue. He snorted begrudgingly. She’d swallowed it all. “All right. You earned it.” Reaching into the car, he pulled his wallet off the dashboard. This was the other thing that made their relationship, if you could call it that, work. Pulling a few bills out, he leaned down and stuffed them into the open v of her purple tank top. His fingers came back wet with spit. “For the shirt.” He offered her another bill. She scowled at it. “$10?” He smiled. “Smartymart’s having a sale. You can keep the change.”

[coochiequeens]

Since I touched on this with the articles about Jojo Siwa already planning on having 1 girl and 2 boys and the twibling article with the gay men who just happened to have had two boys through surrogacy ........

Rise in parents engaging in sex-selection during IVF has the fertility biz booming

By Cassy Fiano-Chesser | May 14, 2024 

The fertility industry has opened new doors for countless would-be parents across the globe, and it’s not just doors allowing them to have children. Thanks to in-vitro fertilization (IVF), people can create their children and then have them tested to ensure they meet all the right specifications. While this brave new world sounds like something out of a science fiction novel, it’s all too real – and using IVF to select the kind of child you want is becoming more and more common.

In 2021, socialite and reality television alum Paris Hilton announced her plans to use IVF to create her family, and choosing the sex of her babies was one of the reasons. “Well, we have been doing the IVF. So I can pick twins if I like. Kim [Kardashian] is actually the one who told me about that, I didn’t even know anything about it. And I’m happy she told me that advice, and introduced me to her doctor, so yeah. We have them all ready to go,” she said, continuing, “I think it’s just something most women should do, just to have. And then you can pick if you want boys or girls — just because I really want to have twins that are a boy and a girl. The only way to 100% get that is by making it happen that way.”

Hilton is hardly alone. The number of people foregoing sex in favor of IVF in order to have children is growing — as is sex selection. Though, according to the Daily Mail, sex selection is illegal in most of the globe, it isn’t in the United States, and it’s become trendy.

“The market is the size of the human race,” Jeffrey Steinberg, founder of the Fertility Institutes in Los Angeles, said in an interview with Slate. He claimed 85% of his clients are drawn in by the idea of choosing their baby’s sex.

Sex selection has long been practiced, albeit not using IVF; instead, parents sometimes found out the sex of their baby during an ultrasound, and if it was the “wrong” sex, they sought an abortion. Though this has typically been a way to bolster a cultural preference for boys, Slate pointed out that in the United States, it’s become the opposite: the market is skewed toward girls.

Sharon Moayeri, the founder of OC Fertility in Newport Beach, California, does not market the ability to choose the baby’s sex as aggressively as Steinberg does, and therefore, said only around 15% of her clients arrive without fertility issues. Another doctor at the medical center at the University of California San Francisco told Slate that “single mothers by choice, same-sex couples, and families with a history of autism” were typically more likely to request girls. A study also found that white parents having their first child chose female embryos 70% of the time.

"When I think about having a child that’s a boy, it’s almost a repulsion, like, Oh my God, no,” one woman said.

Another argued, “Boy children tend to be less caring towards their parents. It doesn’t really matter if it’s socialized or biological. It’s probably socialized, but I can’t change all of society.”

And because laws in other countries ban sex selection, thousands of people fly to the United States each year just to take advantage of this country’s lax fertility regulations. And it means big business for the fertility industry.

“It’s a moneymaking industry,” Laura Kerwin, a Harvard-trained psychologist, told Slate. “People need to realize that [clinics] have a fiduciary duty to their shareholders to make money. They’re trying to sell you on an option.”

There is little to no oversight within the fertility industry, meaning there is little to no information on what the current state of the industry is. “We do not even know how many frozen embryos we have in this country,” Margaret Marsh, a professor at Rutgers University, told the Atlantic, explaining that the last count — 400,000 — was 20 years ago. “[Today] we have no idea.”

The Atlantic also noted that 75% of fertility clinics advertise sex-selection as an offered service, allowing people to undergo IVF simply because they want to choose if they have a boy or a girl. Steinberg told the Atlantic this “service” makes the fertility industry approximately $90 million each year.

Steinberg also scoffed at the notion of increased regulations, saying it is “putting the handcuffs on scientists.” Then, using pro-abortion terminology, he added, “If there’s anything society should have learned, it’s ‘Keep their hands off of people’s reproductive choices’.”

IVF, though often described as a way to help heartbroken infertile couples to create families, has created a monster in which children are no longer treated as human beings, but as products to be designed, engineered, and then sold to the highest bidder upon demand. And as these embryonic children are products, they can be screened, destroyed, traded, and even turned into jewelry.

Any attempts to cut back on this commodification is swiftly attacked as cruelty towards the infertile — but what about the children being created? What will it take for the line to be drawn and a stop be placed on this reproductive free-for-all?

I checked on that statement about embryos turned into jewelry and found articles mostly dating back to 2018. But it did happen.

https://www.genethique.org/jewellery-made-from-supernumerary-embryos-obtained-after-ivf/?lang=en

"When I think about having a child that’s a boy, it’s almost a repulsion, like, Oh my God, no,” one woman said. While I get that I'm still creeped out about this being a big international business.

[the1975attheirverybest]

wow that anon was weird..

i dont think ALL celebs MUST speak out about things like i dont think kylie jenner "speaking out" would really further the cause (i might be wrong tho) i DO think she should donate, anyone with means should donate, especially if they're tax avoiders.

BUT if ur in a band that makes political music and political statements AND ARE WILLING TO GET BANNED FROM COUNTRIES FOR A CAUSE

u cant keep ur head down for this one, u just cant, he needs to AT LEAST have a well thought out reason about why he thinks him speaking out doesn't matter in this case, and even then....

75 fans understand why people say that taylors a bad feminist, but wouldn't complain about kim k doing the same thing,, its cause taylor claims to be a feminist while kim doesn't,, its the same for matty, hes acting incongruently to his words and past actions. its not unfair to point that out

EXACTLY. To paraphrase my philosophy professor, all things being equal, some celeb voices are more equal than others hahaha. Like if you’re a makeup girlie and your platform is about comparing different products and making recs etc. obviously I’m not going to expect you to say something or treat what you say with the same substantive weight as Matty Healy. Remember when he spoke about the abortion bill in Alabama? And the crowd booed him and he said “fuckin shoot me mate we’re way past that.” it’s not illegitimate to then expect him to be against fuckin genocide. And if you do, ask yourself why.

[bengiyo]

The Warp Effect Ep 9 Stray Thoughts

Last time, we solved the current issues for Army and Kat. Kat teased a relationship with Jean, and now I need it. Kat also made me think about I May Destroy You all week, so there's that, too. Army and Joe learned how to be intimate in a way both could enjoy with Alex's help (clearly the most comfortable straight man). Kim is pregnant, but it seems like she doesn't want to keep it; Ice is excited to become a dad. Also, Nim and Bew broke up because Bew is going to America and is jealous of Mollie.

We're jumping right in to Jedi and Rose, who seem good about checking in when they go out. Unfortunately for Rose, Jedi clearly has an STD he's been avoiding dealing with.

Kinda interesting that the image for Jedi and Rose was witnessed by Alex, whereas in the others it feels like some other camera captured the image.

Oh, I do like Army leading with their HIV status. If Jedi is out there being unsafe, there's many debilitating things he could pick up and give to Rose. She has every right to be furious with him.

Due to the supernatural, I'll forgive this not-doctor and actual doctor disclosing patient information to others.

See-ew is wearing a Space Force shirt.

I don't think I had considered much which doctors trans women would visit about their sexual health depending on what paths they chose to pursue for gender confirmation.

Nim is pregnant, and Army's desire to be involved is giving me Queer as Folk vibes.

Okay, the excited little gay wiggle Fluke Pusit did for Army's mirth about becoming a father was good. He's talented, and treating this character seriously.

Good of Alex to cap off that conversation by reminding Nim that it's her choice and all of the men present support her. Alex is intriguing as a character, because he's still basically 18.

Very uncomfortable about pregnant Kim having alcohol and hanging out around smokers.

Chaladee and Phuwin are pretty good together. She's got to convey a lot of different feelings here, and Phuwin is responding in character as Ice really well. Managing an unwanted pregnancy when the non-pregnant partner wants it is not simple, and I like the way they're grounding Kim's reluctance. It's especially notable because we go back to the movie set, and Kim is clearly thriving here.

Yes, I am here for Mollie getting to loom.

Joong is very attractive, and I prefer when he has to bring more energy to his acting. GMMTV seems obsessed with making him play quieter and cool characters.

Babies are not a punishment for mistakes. It's also (currently) legal to get an abortion at this stage. I know the show is setting up this conversation to hammer home the point, and I'm going to reiterate it.

Oh, Jean. Also glad that we're acknowledging that any medical procedure can be scary, and few of us want to face that alone.

It was a very good choice to follow that scene with Ice talking to Alex. Despite their fraught relationship, Alex is still his brother, and he's a specialist on women's health issues. Alex steers Ice away from making the issue about him.

The timing of much of this is good. I like Army a lot here. He shares that he's actually excited at the prospect of becoming a parent, is willing to do it with Nim, and assures her he'll still respect her choice.

Interesting development! Jedi insists that he only has sex with Rose.

Joe and Army can't have one big moment without someone rolling up and immediately reaching for their phone. Goddamn. Y'all need to leave people the fuck alone. Joe isn't ready to be out, and he's going to blame Army for this because he came to the school.

The homoeroticism of laying on the floor after exerting yourselves together. We stay winning.

Placing Jan where her eyes would sparkle when she looked at Silvy was a gorgeous choice.

Jojo said, but what if the whole show was second chance romances??

I like that Nim and Mollie solved their own problem after others helped them with unrelated problems. It's a gentle message about how caring helps beyond the initial instance.

Is dressing like a flight attendant related in any way to what Captain did to Kat?

Another interesting development! Kat says Rose also insists she doesn't have sex with other people.

Alex thinking he possibly gave HPV to Kat was funny.

Newwie is actually pretty good in this role.

Oh, the mirror is a nice choice in the reconciliation between Jedi and Rose. They can finally face each other properly and clearly. They wanted to try being open, but realized it wasn't what they actually wanted. Still, I am invested in the answer about where they got infected.

I like how many scenes do double-duty in this show. We see Kat back on the wagon while also learning that Tony isn't a player.

Viruses are so annoying. I like the way this plotline with Jedi and Rose wrapped.

And look at Ice also coming through.

Jean looks so good.

So many problems next week! Liu is being harassed at work. Mollie is mad at Nim. Joe is being shoved deeper into the closet. Kat and Jean come to some big moment about Alex. Goddamn.

[t3kandson]

Player Might Be Me

Word count; 14, 283

Fandom; The Boyz & Stray Kids Featuring a bit of Itzy

Pairing; Reader X Lee Juyeon, Reader X Seo Changbin, Reader X Bang Chan aka Christopher, Bang Chan X Seo Changbin, Lee Minho aka Lee Know X Shin Ryujin & Bae Jacob X Choi Jisoo aka Lia.

Characters; Lee Juyeon, Seo Changbin, Bang Chan, Moon Kevin, Ju Haknyeon, Lee Hyunjae, Lee Sangyeon, Bae Jacob, Sohn Eric, Kim Sunwoo, Lee Minho, Shin Ryujin, Choi Jisoo, Kim Younghoon, Choi Chanhee, Hur Hyunjun aka Hwall, Ji Changmin, Han Jisung, Hwang Hyunjin, Lee Felix, Kim Seungmin and Yang Jeongin.

Warning; Angst, Cover story relationship, Talk of arranged marriages Polyamory, Jealousy, Degrading, Pregnancy & Labour, Talk of abortions, Children hospitalisation, fights, fingering, Maiesiophilia & Threesomes.

Notes; Part Three of Player/Player at the wedding

Other parts here

Happy Birthday Juyeon 😘❤️

Taglist; @ilovechanhee

The door bell hollowed through the house, annoyance deliberately targeting you. Making your way through your childhood empty home you moved towards the front door. Heart freezing when you recognised the two figures that seemingly looked ready to break the door down.

“Y/N we know your in there, don’t be dramatic and answer the door,” Kevin shouted through the glass panel. You should have known that Kevin and Haknyeon would not have let you leave town so easily.

Opening the door like a scolded child Kevin narrowed his eyes your way with his arms crossed. Haknyeon even in his smiling gaze looked irked at your behaviour. “Please forget me,” Kevin growled shoving your note in your face. “Do you think your so little to us that we would just be happy with this silly note,” he added throwing the paper to the floor. “Just because you can forget us don’t mean it’s the same emotions that we own,” he said hurt as your eyes looked to the written apology. “Y/N,” please say something,” Haknyeon pleaded bringing your eye contact back. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stay, not like that, not round him,” you choked as Haknyeons eyes softened. “We understand that, more then anything,” Haknyeon said stepping towards you. “But why did you run from us?” he added grabbing your hands warmly. “Because I need a fresh start away from everything Juyeon. I don’t want to be that person he was making me,” you said with tears pricking your eyes. “Since when did we represent Juyeon, you know we both can not stand him. We didn’t even like him when you was dating, what makes you think we would like him now,” Kevin said more softer. “Y/N you could never be like him,” Haknyeon added tightening his grip.

“We’re family Y/N, you don’t walk away from family,” Kevin said placing his hand on your shoulder as tears began to slide. “Right I’ve scolded you, let’s leave that here but you are never going to walk away from us again right?” He glared in your eyes that caused you to tearfully nod. “Come here Silly,” he said pulling you into his hold, Haknyeon’s hands slipping from the crush between yours and Kevin’s body as tears began to fall.

---------------------🔺-----------------

With your friendship with Kevin and Haknyeon reassumed, they both visited regularly, many nights comforting you and slowly building up your life. But the second you had started to get back to an almost normal pattern once more, life threw you back into the hell you had clawed from.

“Shit,” Haknyeon said holding the test for dear life in his hands as he looked his way to you. Your mind froze as it swirled through all sort of thoughts. One’s that you couldn’t even focus on because your world was going black once more. “It’s ok Y/N listen it’s ok, we will sort this I promise you,” Kevin echoed around you as he placed his hands on your shoulders. But even his words of comfort and reassurance couldn’t take away the fear deep in the Pitt of your stomach. You was pregnant and the only person you had slept with was Lee Juyeon just a couple months prior. It didn’t matter that you wanted a fresh start, the universe was finding a way to derail you.

“No child will change him Y/N,” Haknyeon said with sorrowful eyes when you suggested going back to Seoul to return to him. “You don’t know that,” you cried as you tried to hold on to the family picture your mind had given you. “Y/N, he’s been sleeping with those girls since you left, that’s how much he cares,” Kevin growled with annoyance. “But that’s different there relationships, this is a child,” you cry pleading as if they could fix your ideal dream future. You knew being unmarried your father would scorn you once hearing of your predicament. “Fine ring him, but he will only hurt you and this time a tiny child too,” Kevin scoffed passing you his phone. You looked at Juyeon’s number in fear like it was set to burn you before taking your eyes back to his.

“Test him,” Haknyeon said into the silence as you both looked his way. “What?“ you scoffed looking confused at him. “He slept with a friend of mine just last month, she owes me a favour. I’ll make a comment that I think she’s pregnant let’s see his reaction,” he said looking at you seriously. Kevin looks at you and you see it’s a plan he approved as you nod your head at him.

-----------------🔺---------------------

Being back in Haknyeon’s apartment is weird, it’s your comfort, many great nights was spent there. But you remember Juyeon’s sleeping body laid like a ghost on the sofa. Your muscles twitched as you remember the way his fingers dug in to devour you the very last night of your relationship. “You can change your mind right,” Kevin said worried with your sudden display of emotions. “No I need to know,” you added holding your tears at bay. Slipping into the bedroom when the door buzzed, fingers intwined willing for Juyeon to show a sign of excitement, a sign of responsibility.

But that’s not what followed when Haknyeon spun his line. “Why are you telling me?” Juyeon growled. “Because you’ve already fucked up one of my friends lives, Mirae deserves better, she needs you to step up,” Haknyeon said with a raised tone. “Mirae is just as much as a dirty dog as me, that kid probably wouldn’t be mine,” he said sounding so uninterested. “And If it is,” Haknyeon pushed further. “Mate I haven’t got time for this Bullshit, Mirae’s problems are her own and not mine so go play games with someone else. You like fixing my mess you deal with it,” Juyeon said sounding so cold. “Right mature levels that I expected, but you know what I expected even fatherhood might inspire you with some form of need to grow up,” Haknyeon lectured as your heart began to burn. “No one tells me when it’s my time to grow up, if she is there’s always the option for an abortion,” he growled as the Pitt of your stomach churned. “Your an asshole Lee Juyeon,” Haknyeon matched his tone. “You know what, even if it’s not mine I’ll pay for the abortion, who wants to be lumbered with a crying shitting machine anyway,” he add, as if he was deliberately setting to hurt you further more. “You know what, I don’t know why I had faith in you,” Haknyeon said, his tone setting close to anger. “Well I didn’t ask you to,” he said snarky as if he was amused at the disappointment he was showing. “Get out,” Haknyeon shouted like the anger he was holding on was about to be out leashed. “With pleasure,” Juyeon said sounding pleased at the commotion he left behind.

The second the door shut the tears you held at bay poured as Kevin pulled you into his warm embrace. Haknyeon’s hands pressing on your back as you sobbed, to show his support as he dashed to the room. Quietness stilled as they both comforted you, the words of ‘I told you so’ that you expected to come didn’t.

“What am I going to do? What am I going to tell my father?” You cried looking up at Kevin. He pursed his lips deep in thought as you looked up at him with tear stained eyes. “I’ll fix it I promise, I’ll find someone to take care of you both,” he said slightly smiling in an attempt to reassure you.

--------------------🔺-----------------

When you imagined all the ways that Kevin would fix the mess you had gotten into you never thought Hyunjae would be the answer. “What?” Hyunjae replied paling with slight confusion. “You like her, she likes you, she’s pregnant she needs you,” Kevin explained as if you and the baby was some form of business deal. “Kevin did you fall and hurt yourself, like badly brain damaging hurt yourself,” Hyunjae scoffed at his friend. “No she needs help,” Kevin pleaded as silence fell. “And you thought of me, like it’s already crazy that you're finding some sort of husband for your befallen friend, no offence,” he paused smiling at you briefly. “But me, why me? do I look father material?” Hyunjae added. “Firstly I thought she was our friend and secondly you love kids. Your lost in a world as soon as you see a baby,” Kevin explained. “Y/N you know I love you and will always fight for you,” Hyunjae smiled your way as you mirrored. “I love babies there cute so tiny and so squishy, but not my own actual baby to bring up. Even if it’s one that’s not from my loin, not now anyway,” he replied. “Plus this is wrong I know the man’s a jerk but still, it’s his baby,” he added pulling his hand through his hair.

“He wants an abortion,” you choke out the words having never left your mind since he spoke them. Hyunjae breathed in deeply before making his way to you, wrapping his arms around your wearily body as he pulled you in. “Y/N I wish I could help but this is too much,” he said softly as you nodded understanding. “I know, I’m sorry we shouldn’t have even asked you,” you said feeling numb. “You know nothing would please me to be the person who has you weak for me every night I come home to you, but being a father to a child I didn’t make right now when we are so young, I can’t do it,” he adds cupping your face. “It’s a stupid idea,” you said letting tears slip.

The whole situation was crazy and was zapping any energy into your life right that moment.

Pressing a kiss to your nose he pulled you in tightly. “It’s not a stupid idea, it’s just I’m not equipped for what you need from me right now,” he said kissing your crown. “I’ll help though, you know being him or her favourite uncle,” he said as you chuckled. “I’m sure there be someone that I can help find what you need though,” he added reassuringly.

-------------------🔺-------------------

Like he had promised he fixed the situation. You were sat facing two strangers who had offered to save your situation. The comfort of Hyunjae’s apartment around you, you looked at the pair blushing. “This is Christopher,” Hyunjae Introduced as he was grinning so widely, but yet also very warmly. “This is Changbin,” he added as you nodded once more to Christopher’s Boyfriend. His smile not reaching his eyes as if he was daring into your soul making you gulp slightly. “And this is our beautiful lady in distress,” Hyunjae teased as you shot him a glare earning a chuckle.

“Can I be honest and straight to the point with you Y/N,” Changbin asked as if he was trying to work you out. You nodded trying to warm him with a smile that failed. “What If the real father comes back on the scenes?” he asked as you blinked surprised by his outright question. “Binnie,” Christopher scorned softly trying to smile even brighter at you, as If he was counteracting the slight tension Changbin was emitting. “Chris I need to know, I don’t want to fall in a trap that goes south,” he said softly, yet to the point before looking your way. “The baby’s father wanted me to have an abortion he isn’t coming back,” you replied. “But you love him?” Changbin asked as you nodded watching Christopher’s smile slightly drop. “What’s to stop us giving you and that baby what you need, to then throw us away If the dad comes back,” he asked with wary concern behind his eyes.

Pulling in your bottom lip he had a good point. You had wanted a family with Juyeon and so his change of mind would be all you needed and everything you wanted. “See she can’t answer that,” he said looking at His partner. “Chris you can’t keep saving people, not when they can’t be honest,” he said, his tone showing he didn’t trust you.

“I can answer,” you said as they looked your way. “I could say what you want, tell you you can trust me. This baby will be brought up by just us three alone, a family hiding your secrets yet comforting as one strong unit,” you smiled as Christopher could see content in the picture you painted. “I could also tell you what you clearly want to hear, that I’m so badly in love with the guy who’s dna is in my child and that I’m just saving my self. Then your right, this idea is bad and you should run,” you added looking at Changbin as he’s eyes smalled slightly. “But if I’m honest I can’t tell you to trust me, I can’t tell you this is safe,” you added biting your lip. “I love this baby’s real dad very much, you don’t know how I’ve tried so much not to, I can’t help it I really do,” you said looking at Changbin with watery eyes. “He isn’t just not father material but he also doesn’t want to be a father, his chosen route in his words,” you pause taking a breath. “Even if it wasn’t his he’ll pay for the abortion because who wants to be lumbered with a child,” you added as tears slipped.

“Y/N,” Christopher chokes looking saddened to view your tears and hear those words. “Does that sound like a man coming to claim his family?” You asked looking at Changbin as his view soften. “I can’t give you any promises, but I can be honest I need saving,” you added brutally as Hyunjae’s hands found yours under the table. “But can any of us guarantee that this will work?” You asked them. “What do you mean? how are we going to break your heart? you will always be that baby’s mum,” Changbin scoffed. “Can you promise each other that you won’t feel some sort of emotion for me when I become your family, I know your both bisexual,” you said making Christopher blush. “What if Me and Christopher fall in love and run away,” you said as Changbin started laughing heavily.

“Oh thanks, feel the love,” Christopher scoffed as Changbin calmed down holding his hand. “You really telling me you're going to fall in love and run away leaving me behind,” he says with full confidence. “I could do,” Christopher said playfully that made you smile at there cute display of there relationship. “One week and you would be back,” Changbin winked as you felt the heat of your cheeks blush. “That would be because you need me to stop you setting fire to the kitchen,” Christopher scoffed. The way they interacted together was contenting to view.

You knew the deal to be there cover for there relationship in offer for a family, that your unborn child would be better off with them then Juyeon.

“You made a good point I’m thankful for your honesty,” Changbin said after taking you into his view once more. “What’s that, one of you could fall for my charm and run away with me,” you teased as Christopher smirked. “Oh you have so met your match,” he said nudging Changbin.

-------------------🔺-------------------

That was the start of your relationship with them both. It was meant to be just a cover story, You was Christopher’s girlfriend to the world, but behind the door when your hand slipped Changbin took over. You had ear pods to help close the hearing from the thin walls of their own relationship, but you were content. While Christopher mothered over you, Changbin who at first was still wary, started warming up with help from Christopher’s coaxing. However, you both became a bad influence and often joining forces against your cover partner.

As for your pregnancy the golden rule of not mentioning anything to do with Juyeon was the ultimate deal. They didn’t even want to know his name, Kevin, Haknyeon & Hyunjae forced to be tight lipped. It was as if in your mind your dreams was replaced with Christopher In Juyeon’s place.

Christopher was the doting expecting father. However, often suffocating you with nutrition meal plans even down to the music you heard. He wanted his child to hear their voices as their melody. Which explained the routine parts of the day as Christopher held your stomach playing the mixtapes him and Changbin made.

Changbin on the other hand sneaked in your cravings, you had a unhealthy addiction for everything that wasn’t healthy, that Christopher wanted you to eat. In particular greasy burgers, it had become your Thursday treat when Christopher had his work meetings with the management line. Changbin would collect you as soon as he finished and would drive you to the nearest Lotteria for a Bulgogi burger. As your bump grew he would swap his Burger with your fries, smiling with smitten features as you devoured his food. He secretly confessed that you eating something that was his and the regular eating date, made him feel like he was connected to the baby. It wasn’t long before he was confessing his fears. Christopher would be daddy but he was just an uncle. Though he didn’t want a family he agreed for Christopher, he had become very fond of you. The thought of losing you equally terrified him then an attachment to a child that wasn’t his.

--------------------🔺------------------

Your platonic relationship between you and them changed almost over night. It was like you all felt chemistry, but in fear of complicating your home life further you kept your distance when things got too much, like it was a fuse away from exploding. As always your unborn child being the explosion in the situation.

“What’s wrong with that idea?” Changbin scoffed when you told him the doctors suggestions to push your labour along. “Are you seriously suggesting we add another person in to encourage our child out?” Christopher scoffed his way, after hearing Changbin’s response to the doctors joke. She had merrily joked that semen from sex helped overdue mothers, one that emitted a blush from you both.

“No she has us for that,” Changbin said his eyes widening towards his partner. “Your thinking crazy right now,” Christopher replied getting off the sofa to make his way towards the kitchen. “No I’m thinking like a dad, which is what your meant to be doing,” Changbin growled.

Christopher looked at him hurt in his eyes. You were use to squabbles, Changbin often blowing up with his emotions but to attack Christopher as a parent felt a low attack. “Please explain how making our already confusing situation any more fucked up then it already is, is better for our child,” Christopher said growling with more anger than you witnessed before.

“Do you want them to be over due? Do you realise how uncomfortable it is for Y/N, or have you forgotten her in this whole damn thing. She’s this baby’s mum not a surrogate,” Changbin ranted. Christopher eyes brushed to you as you pulled your knees towards you in pure uncomfortableness with the whole argument. “Have you even asked Y/N instead of being her spokesman?” Christopher asked almost calmer. Changbin instantly looked to you, his eyes darkened slightly more then usual, but silence upon his features. “Can we just not argue I don’t like it,” you whispered making them both rush to you with guilt.

“Sorry Y/N,” Changbin said pulling your shoulder so you tumbled into him, letting your knees fall on his thighs. “Yes I’m sorry too, I’m sure we can find a way to help you,” Christopher said smiling. “I’m sure Hyunjae would help,” he added as Changbin looked in horror. “Chris how can we be a family, this child is yours but I’m just the uncle. By Hyunjae helping that means he has a much more claim then me,” Changbin said re getting irked once more. “So your telling me by you fucking her it means your feel closer,” Christopher scoffed towards him once more as you felt the brief respite disappear.

“No if we do it together then it’s something I’m included in,” Changbin bit out. “Do you know how hard it is watching you two go to scans, hospital appointments, picking out names. Leaving me in the corner feeling as if I’m just the person who satisfies your sexual needs but nothing more,” he cried showing the pain that till now he hid from his lover. “But isn’t that what you wanted, you didn’t want this, you didn’t want to be a dad. You only did this to please me,” Christopher shouted back. “Well things changed, I’ve held that little one as they kicked my hands, held Y/N’s hair why she’s been sick, made her giggle when she’s been sad,” he paused looking at you with a brief break of warmth in his features. “I’ve dreamt just like you, her future, our future, our family of four,” he said more soften closing his eyes as he willed the dream to hold him once more.

“How long have you felt like this?” Christopher asks looking shocked by his admission. “Since I felt her kick my hand when I fed her mother my burger,” he wiped a tear but looked content in the memory that you didn’t even realise. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise I pushed you into the cold,” Christopher said closing his eyes. He turned his back on you both turning around to look you with a different unknown view in his eyes.

“Y/N what’s your take on this?” he asked closing his eyes briefly once more. “What on how I’ve equally pushed him out, I already knew it and set time for him,” you said looking guilty. “That’s sweet but i didn’t mean that, I wasn’t blind to your unhealthy dinner dates,” he said raising an eye at you as you looked guilty at him. “I meant your take in Changbin’s suggestion, about you know,” he said blushing a deep set of red. “Oh,” you said pausing as you bit on your lip briefly that earnt a gulp from Changbin’s breath, that caught both your attention.

Had you thought sexually of them both? yes you sure had. There moans were often what pushed you over the edge as your knuckles went white pleasuring yourself. “Well her silence tells us what we need to know,” Christopher said pushing his lips and widening his eyes at Changbin’s which had fallen. “It’s because I’m trying to find the words that don’t sound like I’m some sort of cock whore,” you blushed looking to the floor. “Wait so you want to, you know,” , “have sex with us both,” Changbin added smirking at Christopher’s deep blushes. You nodded blushed almost as red as Christopher’s as Changbin fell to the sofa nudging you. “Oh Y/N you're such a cute little thing blushing like a what did you call it, cock whore,” he winked.

You couldn’t remember the path between that phase and suddenly being dragged by Changbin to your bedroom. Heavily amount of kisses passed you had been sure of that. You had been sex starved for over nine months and desperately needing the release from more then your fingers. Desperate to hear their moans as they drove themselves mad on you.

Christopher’s eyes at your naked body was pure doe eyed at your fully naked pregnant appearance. “Changbin don’t hate me, but that’s such a turn on that I never imagined I’d have,” He scoffed. “You and me both,” Changbin choked as you took his eyes, dark with lust filled hunger. “Well we ride together we die together,” he added as his hands rummaged your breasts. Which made Christopher belt out into hysterics, Changbin eyes narrowing on him which you had to admit looked hot. “Sorry I was just laughing because we aren’t riding together, she’ll be riding us,” he smirked blushing like crazy.

“Sorry, one second,” Changbin said holding a finger before he made his way to his lover. “Your so cute when you say something so sexy, but I love you like it, never change,” he complimented looking in his eyes as his lips attacked him.

Like earlier in the living room, your thighs clenched viewing the depth of their relationship. Changbin’s eyes finding yours almost salivated at there display, that he smirked at you with pure devilish view in his eyes. Turning you into him he let his clothed bulged press against your ass, his hands holding your belly. Kisses along your neck you feel Christopher spraying his hands over your bump. Like his partner they both was finding themselves turned on by your glowing pregnant view. “Do you know how beautiful you are carrying our baby,” he said deeply that your thighs dampened. “Yes our baby,” Changbin whispered into your ear that had you almost choke.

Once you had got used to Christopher’s emotion’s for your voluptuous view you were hovering over his cock. “Baby, don’t hold back,” he smiled looking lost in your eyes. His fingers reassuringly brushing over your thighs as a sudden nervousness attacked. Whimpering you slid yourself down on him as you closed your eyes, biting your lips as you got use to being filled once more. Changbin behind you, held your breasts as he knead them while you set your rhythm on Christopher. “You feel so tight, shit,” Christopher whined himself as his hands gripped on to your hips. Changbin presses his hands to your face to lean your lips towards his, tongue sucking down the moans spilling from your lips. Fingers finding your clit Christopher rubbed circles into your throbbing nub.

Walls clamping on his cock had his own deeper groans making your release creep up. “Y/N, oh my god, shit,” he cry’s, fingers digging into your flesh as his pace becomes sluggish on their attack. He spills himself deep in you and the warmth of his hot seed, scrunched face, and choking sounds throws you off the edge. Lips falling from Changbin, you lean on to your arms, palms resting on Christopher’s hard muscular chest, panting as you struggle to breathe through your intense orgasm. “You ok baby?” Christopher coos lifting your face to view him. “Yeah that was just, yeah, it’s been a while,” you pant as he stifles a chuckle. “Well you haven’t had me fuck you up yet,” you hear Changbin threaten behind you.

“It’s ok sweetie, i won’t make you do all the work,” Changbin says dragging his finger down your spine making you moan as you arch. “When your ready, all fours,” he said pressing kisses to your shoulder as he hovers over you, before placing a kiss to Christopher.

Fingers falling to your cum soaked pussy, Changbin enjoys slowly fucking into you. His digits forgetting your delicate condition, but despite the slight discomfort of his frenzy attacking of his fingers, your juices are flowing. Removing he replaces himself with a slam of his cock, cry’s piercing the air. “Remember the baby,” Christopher scorns him still underneath. “We’re here to encourage it out,” Changbin chuckles before he prepares to set his rhythm. Ignoring Christopher’s request he set a harsh pace against you. Your walls clamping around him helping to fill the most sexy groans deep in your ear. You can feel Christopher hardening beneath you that he’s also weak hearing them too. The eldest bites his lips in your eyes lost in his Changbin view, is adding to your once more creeping orgasm. You can hear him struggle to hold his high back as your walls tighten around him. “Y/N,” he growls and the way he runs your voice from his tongue is enough to have your core burn. A second chant of your name is all your core needs to snap as you feel the muscles in your core choke around him. “Fuck,” Changbin growls shaking as he rides his high that you threw into him. Your body feels over sensitive as he continues to slowly fuck into you, filling you with so much of his seed that you feel it slide down your thighs, spilling on Christopher.

“Well I think that definitely has you fully cum filled,” Changbin said releasing himself. Throwing himself beside you he pats the space between them. Christopher’s beaming grin inviting you to lay with them. As soon as you lay down, Changbin rolls to face you brushing the sweetest kiss to your lips. “We’re not coming back from this are we,” you ask him as he smirks. “Well this is our family now,” Christopher whispers confirming your relationship with them both was sexual now too.

You suddenly woke up clinching your stomach in pain as water gushed your bed. Christopher’s panicked eyes being the only evidence he wasn’t as calm as his reassuring words. Changbin on the other hand was a nervous wreck. His paled face as his cluttered words spilling in his attempt to reassure you as Christopher drove you to the hospital.

His lost expression when he failed to move into the labour suite confused you further. “Changbin,” you whined looking his way. “I’m not the dad,” he said with watery eyes. “Says who?” You question as he tilts his head. “We’re a family remember, please don’t leave us incomplete,” you plead opening your hand to him as he smiled taking it. “What will we say?” he asked Christopher, who looked at peace more then you witnessed. “We’re figure it later, but for now it’s just, owwwwww,” you cried buckling as they both carried you.

The both of them held your hands, supporting you switching roles as Christopher became more panicky having given into his locked emotions. While Changbin, since the conversation outside, took the stronger role, reaching out to bring your focus when you struggled.

When they lifted the tiny bundle into your wearily eyes you smiled at there doe eyed view, tears stains on both their cheeks. You closed your eyes embracing your new family till you viewed your daughter in your arms. Your features their in her nose and dimples, but you were suddenly taken back to reality. She was the spitting image of Juyeon.

------------------🔺--------------------

You kept his features in the child they were besotted with from them. Despite knowing Christopher was intrigued by the comments he made on features he knew was yours. But Changbin didn’t care, it was like he fell in love with the precious child that he never really wanted, past caring what his lover needed.

Christopher adored the view in Changbin’s eyes and he did the most selfless thing by suggesting a new move. Somewhere that no one knew them.

That instead of Christopher being the family man, that it be Changbin. Though your daughter was registered as Bang Jubin, it was Changbin that slipped into the daddy path, the fiancée. Everything was perfect till the transfer for Christopher’s job was back in Seoul. Your worried face spilled as you dashed to ring Haknyeon, pleading to find out if Juyeon was still in the area. The huge relief hitting when he confirmed Juyeon had long moved away in an equally similar relationship with Eric, Elle & Lulu. Hearing that he hadn’t changed his ways reminded the tiniest guilt in you, that your relationship with Christopher & Changbin was better suited for Jubin.

Being back in Seoul was great. You was on the outskirts at Seongnam, Still a distance from being too intwined in Christopher’s work life, Changbin’s too as he joined the company, But not too deep in to your former life. It also meant you was more closer for Kevin, Haknyeon and Hyungjae to visit. Hyunjae even encouraging you to return to the club once a month. Meeting with Chanhee, Younghoon and Hwall was what you needed to get your life back. They was all in new relationships and they was all in your little circle of your new life with Changbin and Christopher. Family BBQ’s and many drinks enjoyed at your home where you felt complete.

You had even bumped into Sangyeon who had told you his brother Eric had married Elle, that he seemed to have grown up a little. However, Sunwoo was very much close and up to trouble, encouraging Juyeon’s many nights in other women that wasn’t Lulu. Though it was painful to hear how he continued to mess his relationships, you was glad that he wasn’t in your life no more.

You had met with Jacob and Changmin as well, you didn’t trust that they would run to Juyeon, so kept Jubin and the Christopher and Changbin situation from him. Jacob was happily married to Lia who you had met a couple of times when you had met them for lunch.

Life was perfect as you settled in your new routines in your new life. Watching Jubin and her father's relationship grow was the most beautiful to witness. Changbin would be the crazy one, letting her get away with anything she wanted. Often rolling around the floor acting as if he matched her age.

Christopher was more the mother hen, making sure she was well fed, scorning you and Changbin both when you fed her too many sweets. He would be the one spending nights reading her story’s, helping to educate her.

As for your own relationship you had a room that was your master bedroom, it was the room that you mostly slept in with them both. Then there was your own and there’s for when they wanted their time. You knew very well you was the secondary relationship and you were fine with that. You adored them but your relationship with them wasn’t as fiery as there own for each other. ---------------------🔺-----------------

Everything was perfect till the second it wasn’t. Your only worry was being the cover for the weekend on the arms of Changbin, where Christopher was also lurking, at there work colleague's wedding.

However, as your eyes brushed over Christopher in the room looking dashing in his suit your eyes saw him. You felt it without seeing him, but you prayed for your mind not to lose itself. “Yeah he takes my breath away too,” Changbin moaned clearly being taken by his lovers view as well as earning your chuckle. The familiar body spinning to your attention a moment when you realised that it was most definitely who you thought it was, Lee Juyeon.

A small whimper escaping as you froze alerting Changbin to your distress. “Y/N,” he questioned looking worried. “What’s up? who is that? Is that him?” Changbin said as if he knew the answers from the one second yours and Juyeon’s eyes clashed. But you knew he could see his daughters' features looking at him. Dashing from the hotel you ran out, you needed to ring Kevin to come collect you. You couldn’t be here, not around him, not when everything you ran from could blow up.

“Y/N please don’t run,” Changbin pleaded when you reached the cold air. “I can’t, I can’t do this,” you said as he calmed your shaking hands. “He’s who I think he is isn’t he?” He asked as you nodded confirming everything. “Fuck,” he cursed looking furious. “Sorry,” you whispered as he look startled rushing to pull you into his chest. “Y/N I’m not cross with you, I’m cross with myself, he knows I have a daughter, he’ll know it, he’ll work it out,” Changbin panicked. You looked up at him smiling at the fear he once had threatening him. You had confessed once Jubin was born that her biological father didn't actually know you was pregnant. Explaining the situation with him believing it was Mirae.

“He won’t, he’s not that clever, he would have forgotten any detail you said if it didn’t interest him.” You smiled trying to reassure him. “Y/N he’s so, you know he’s shagged the stripper the other night,” he said which earnt a laughter. You wasn’t surprised but how could he fear this man was anything in his league. “We keep Jubin away this weekend act like normal, show him we’re a couple not to be messed with,” you said reassuring him. “This should be me with you,” he pouted. “Well Chris’s stuck in there so I have to be him,” you said as he pulled you back in to his chest. “As if this wasn’t hard enough on him this weekend as it was,” you said in to his warm hold.

Your body stiffening when you noticed him. He look so dapper in his suit that it was easy to get lost in him if it wasn’t for his playboy ways. “Look I don’t want to cause any trouble I just wanted you to know that,” he said stepping closer. “I‘ll skip tonight if that makes you both more comfortable,” he added as Changbin looked at him, trying to smile when you could feel the tension in his body. “It’s ok,” You said to Changbin as he nodded almost realising it was time to show and paint the perfect unit you both shared. You watched as Changbin left to what you were sure was Christopher to seek his advice.

“Wow, I never imagined I’d see you here,” he joked earning a smile in return. “You look good,” he added, being his usual flirty self. He hadn't changed you thought to yourself. “You too,” you replied, watching his eyes lift in pure delight. “So your engaged?” he whispered in almost pain especially when you confirm. “He’s a really decent guy, I like him,” he added. You were confused, he use to be as jealous and childish when it came to other men. Maybe there was a chance he had changed somewhat, especially his emotions towards you. Maybe this wouldn’t be hard, Lulu had to be here somewhere to take his interest elsewhere. Though you know seeing her face would be painful and burn there way through you, that you weren’t looking forward to seeing her or Elle.

“Thanks,” you smiled to his compliment. “But your good right? Healthy?” He asked concerned. It was quite comical him asking on your well-being as if you were friends. “I’m healthy,” you reassured him, “and you?” You asked. “I’m good, even better now I’ve seen you,” he said smiling that usual flirty smile. Any doubt you had was blown away, it was clear he was hoping for something from you. “Any wife?” You asked to see if he would confess what you already knew. “No,” he replied, proving to you he hadn’t changed in any way. You thought you would be angry, but it was all you needed to confirm you had made the better choice for not just Jubin, but yourself.

“So no partner?” You asked again, to see if he would confess his fiancée in any light. “Not really,” he responded, his face showing his features when lying. You wondered if there was ever more then Lulu and Elle, recognising that look in his eyes. “That’s a shame,” you said softly lost in your thoughts. “Why did you just leave?” He blurted out, eyes blinking at his ability to throw that out so soon, deep down you were pissed. He knew full well why you upped and left. “I think we both know that our relationship was never coming back from that,” you said pursing your lips needing away from the slip of conversation thrown.

“Lee Juyeon what the fuck,” you heard Elle’s voice shriek behind you, watching him roll his eye slightly irked. Seeing her in the moment brought every memory you closed off back as you thought to battle to lock them back up. “Don’t you think you should be calming the hell down instead of screaming your head off,” he snarled at her with venom. “Don’t you dare use my condition at me,” she Seethed. What condition you wondered, she looked fine, blossoming infact. “Sorry I didn’t mean to keep him,” you said not wanting to be witness of what ever was going on. “Well he’s not yours to bother no more,” Elle snapped your way with pure hatred on her tongue as she claimed him. Of course you remembered Haknyeon telling you they had been in some four-way relationship.

“Elle, it’s not what you think,” he tried to pacify her. “She can’t come back and start where she left,” Elle growled. “Think of the baby,” he whispered. Your world collided once more, she was pregnant. Was that his child, that made it Jubin’s sibling. Your blood run cold, he was dead against abortions did he throw that at her too. But then she caught his eye then, even with you gone of course she trumped you now.

“I really wasn’t,” You paused to catch your breath that was slightly shaken. “I’m here with my own fiancée,” you added trying to smile warmly at her. “I should find him, nice seeing you again, both of you,” you said in a dash to escape so you could break down your emotions. “Congratulations by the way,” you added throwing over your shoulder to avoid giving eye contact.

Your spun hearing amusement in Juyeon as he chuckled. “You think, sorry me and her,” he chuckled in deep laughter, as Elle’s eyes narrowed in his direction. “She’s Eric’s wife that’s their baby,” he chuckled as Elle punched his arm. “Ask Eric yourself,” he added as Eric appeared not looking pleased. “You better not be stressing her out,” Eric growled walking their way. “No she’s doing that all by herself,” he said rolling his eyes. You took one last look and dashed away from them, their commotion and him.

“You ok?” Christopher’s eyes took yours as you made your way into the hotel as they both stood there waiting for you. Shaking your head a few tears slipped as he pulled you into his safe hold. “If only we knew that was him,” Christopher said clearly in pain himself. “Can I ask, Ju wasn’t for Haknyeon was it?” He asked looking pained as you shook your head, watching pain assault him.

“Right we need to get it together, show him you two are perfect and tonight were talk more ok,” Christopher snapped out of it, pressing a kiss to your forehead. Pushing you into Changbin you felt the fear in his slightly tightened hold. “I hate him so much,” he growled into the kiss he gave on your crown. “Me too, he hasn’t changed,” you said to reassure him. “Can I punch him,” he chuckled and beneath the laughter you know there’s seriousness in his tone. “If it makes you feel better go for it,” you said despite deep down not wanting that. “Y/N you dark horse,” Jacob said snatching your attention. “Even Sangyeon knew, I’m hurt,” he said playfully.

You had just left Sangyeon, Jacob, Lia, Changbin and Christopher to make a trip to the rest room. On your way back you found Juyeon’s head leaning back towards the wall, eyes closed looking like he had a million things on his mind. You knew you should have left him to it, but you found yourself walking towards him instead.

“You ok?” You asked when his eyes opened to view you looking surprised at your appearance. “Yeah girl trouble,” he said more honest then you ever expected from him which took you by surprise. “Oh not a pregnant one then?” You teased with a wink testing to see if his view had changed. “No, no children thank god,” he scoffed, once more cutting your heart with a knife. It’s like you had to keep finding more confirmation that you did what was best for Jubin. “There not that bad, it’s a grown-up thing,” you giggled to cover your slight anger cursing through you. “You saying I’m not grown up?” He teased filtering back to his flirtatious ways. “Don’t know ask me later,” you replied beneath the annoyance

“Y/N I need to tell you something,” he said looking serious for the first time that evening. “Hey Sweetie,” Changbin said behind you as guilt attacked, he was already insecure as it was. “Hi,” you replied as Changbin pressed his lips to you momentarily before kissing you fiercely. You knew in that moment it was a show to reconfirm your relationship.

“You ok mate?” Changbin asked him with a clear smirk on his face. “Sunwoo and Minho’s looking for you,” He added on the hope to remove him. “Well I better go find them then,” he said before dashing off.

“What you up to Y/N?” He questioned you. “You said you hate him but yet your making excuses to see him,” Changbin accused making your eyes widen. “I was coming from the toilet, I made no excuses. I wish I could ignore him but we can’t.” You added pressing your hands down his sleeve on his shirt jacket. “It would be weird if we suddenly acted all coy,” you said brushing small kisses up his jaw letting it relax under your lips. “Y/N nows not the time for this,” Changbin choked. “We could always grab Christopher and have some fun,” you winked feeling his bulge grow between you. “Y/N don’t make this so much harder,” he growled pushing you away to just lace his hand with yours. A clear line between you till he calmed himself down.

“Do you want a drink?” Juyeon asked appearing when you found yourself alone. “No but thanks for the offer,” you replied looking for Changbin in fear of another jealous moment. When he wasn’t In your view, Christopher neither, you knew they had slipped for their time. “What did you want to say anyway?” You asked him as he frowned.

He was just getting the courage to spill when your stomach clenched, the view in yours was Lulu. She hadn’t changed in the five years you was apart. Beautiful with some high sense of entitlement and clear define was trouble. “Lulu,” he gasped paling as he took his fiancée in. “Oh you remember who I am then?” She spat out. “You know your actual girlfriend,” she growled. Hearing the word slip from her mouth confirming their relationship oddly stung. “But bet you kept that detail from this whore,” Lulu sneered. Obviously, he had, but her tone and name calling pushed your buttons. “Beg me pardon,” You replied putting a finger to silence Juyeon who was about to comment.

“Firstly, their are no sex tapes of me on the web in some sordid threesome, I have better values in my life to have sex with a camera filming me. Secondly, I’m not interested in your man, that’s why I left town. I’m here for my actual fiancée,” you added as Changbin approached making you strangely reassured. “Who well let’s say knows how to avoid a stripper or two,” you spat out looking at him in disgust watching his face fall. “So if you don’t mind getting out my way so I can go to my man,” you scoffed standing up to scoot past Lulu’s legs to meet Changbin, who was standing there, his hands open to you.

His features warm having read the room. “You ok?” He whispered. “Not really I’m done with him and his silly floozy,” you said as he pulled you in to press a reassuring kiss to you. “Please don’t leave me alone around him again,” you pleaded having had enough from his company.

“Do you still have feelings for him?” Changbin asked when you curled up between him and Christopher who sneaked into your room. “Sometimes I have confusing emotions yes,” you said honestly as tiredness hit you. “But it’s ok I see him the way he was, the person that he became that hasn’t changed, I’m filled with hatred. So much more hatred then I actually thought I would,” you said as Changbin smirked pressing a kiss to your lips momentarily.

“Y/N don’t take our family away,” Christopher pleaded behind you.

Turning to face him you saw his pain, tears sliding down his face. “Don’t take her away from us,” he added as your eyes searched his in clear despair. “Oh baby what makes you think I would,” you reassured him hugging into him so tightly. “You love him, you don’t love us, but we’ve been their with Jubin through everything, we’re her dads,” he said almost crushing you with his strength. “Lee Juyeon could never be you two, you have nothing to worry about I promise you,” you said kissing his chest. Laying you onto your back his lips searching for you, for comfort. His fingers gentle as ever reaching for your skin as if he needed your body to prove to him. Changbin’s lips found there way to Christopher’s back pressing kisses as you three made love In a slow sexual need of togetherness.

-------------------🔺-------------------

You was admiring the blemishes from Changbin and Christopher over your body in the bathroom as you heard them having their moment in the bedroom. Though it was complicated, you cherished your relationship with them both.

Your phone flashing stole your thoughts as you picked up to Hyunjae. “Really we comfortable in our relationship for naked body’s,” Hyunjae said playfully closing his eyes. “Oh shhhh Lee Hyunjae I’m covered,” you said rolling your eyes down the phone. “Those bites need covering though, who came for tea,” he chuckled as you dead panned him.

“I’ll tell you who’s here though,” you said more seriously. “Lee Juyeon,” you added as his eyes widened. “You wait till Kevin hears he’ll snap you away, wow how’s the guys taking it?” He asked worried for his friends sanity. “Not too well their scared,” you said pouting. “Well we knew this day would come, I’m sure they weren’t blind to think they could run forever. But even still just reassure them ok, Unless you,” he paused as you returned back to your dead pan expression.

Your features relaxed when you heard your daughter in the background. “Oh look who I got Bang Bin,” he coo’s her nickname. “Picking her up to look in the camera your way, his face looked at her with slight concern as you started communicating with her. His hands on her head told you there was reason to worry. “Every thing ok Hyunjae?” you asked as he smiled slightly your way. “Yeah I think she’s just got a cold coming, but she’ll be ok. I’ll ring Kevin and ask him to bring some Calpol when he comes for her later,” he said in an attempt to reassure you. “Y/N I promise you I’ll look after her ok, please don’t fret,” he said watching your worried glance. Having to watch him hang off after her crying did nothing to settle l you.

“Why you hiding in here?” Christopher scoffed emerging into the bathroom. “Everything ok?” he asked. “Yeah, I just didn’t want to invade your time,” you smiled not wanting to let him worry about Jubin too. His eyes dropped as he rushed to you, “baby you know we’re a family unit, you can interfere in our time when ever you want,” he said pulling you in. His embrace much tighter then usual as if he was scared that if he let you go you would disappear.

“So how do you really feel about Juyeon?” Christopher asked over breakfast. You looked around to see if you could find him not wanting him to overhear. “Weird if I’m honest, yes I have some emotions,” you said placing your food into your mouth as both their faces dropped. “But it’s not love, it’s like holding on to memories ones that sometimes was really good,” you added as Christopher eyes took to yours nodding as if he understood. “One minute I can get lost in the memories and then the next he reminds me why I ran from them, from him,” you said taking a sip of your coffee. “Please stop worrying, I love you both, you’re my family,” you reassured them by holding your hand out to Changbin winking at Christopher.

“So what do we do?” Changbin asked looking at you both. “Act like normal, not make him suspicious, not have him question anything,” Christopher said as you smiled his way. “As soon as this weddings finished, we run and never look back,” he smiles grinning at peace with the end result in his mind. “I love that plan,” you smiled at them both. Anyone witnessed to the eyes you were brushing towards each other, would have had easily guessed your close relationship to Christopher as much as Changbin.

Elle’s voice however as she walked up to your table stole your attention. “Who do you think you are?” She shrieked as Eric caught up behind her as he tried to calm her. “I’m Y/N nice to meet you,” you smiled sipping your coffee as your eyes zoomed in on Changbin’s, ignoring her. “Why are you even here?” she snarled, “or is it revenge,” she added with venom in her voice as Eric tried to calmly call her name. “Elle I will be polite because your pregnant, but you must be dumb to not realise why I’m here,” you said looking sweetly at her. “I’m hungry it’s breakfast, I’m having mine with my fiancée,” you said stabbing your sausage showing the anger you were trying to contain. “Hey Y/N’s fiancée here,” Changbin said standing to hold his hand out to her.

She took one look at him turning her face in disgust as she looked down to you still avoiding eye contact. “She will leave you, if she had to run from love then she can run back towards it, mark my words,” Elle spat out as you felt Changbin shudder to her words. “Thanks for your insight but I think I trust the girl who didn’t enlist in infidelity relationships,” Changbin snarled as Christopher placed his hand on his arm.

“Who the fuck do you think you are talking to my wife like that?” Eric growled getting between them. “The partner of the person she thinks she can talk to with equal venom,” Changbin seethed widening his eyes to dare the irritated boyfriend. “Eric what the fuck man,” Sangyeon scolded as his hands rested heavy on his shoulder. “This is Minho and Ryujin’s wedding, this is not the place. Stand the fuck down before I put you down,” he growled warning his younger brother. Turning he slipped off with Elle, while hearing her spill out uncivilised words under her breath. “You ok?” Sangyeon asked with concern as you nodded. “Nothing I couldn’t handle,” you smiled back. “If any of my brothers give you trouble just let me know, them I can slap,” he smirks. “It’s this wife that needs the slap, Elle’s lucky she’s pregnant,” you smirk as he emits a chuckle shaking his head.

“It’s that whore turning up with her new man and head fucking him,” Sunwoo growled in the corridor outside the rest room. “I don’t think it is you know. I think him seeing her is making him grow up,” Eric replied as you hid from there view. “He’s dumping one of the most beautiful woman ever for Y/N of all people,” Sunwoo said with spite in his voice. “He’s not, I’ve just told you that, he’s realised he doesn’t love her and is giving her a chance to find love elsewhere,” Eric said as Sunwoo chuckled. “Your so naive, you watch, he will dump Lulu and be in Y/N’s bed in no time,” Sunwoo said in amusement. “Your wrong, he’s happy for her new relationship, he just wants her to be happy,” Eric argued back. “This is Y/N Eric, the Love of his life, the reason why he won’t have children with anyone because he wants Y/N to be the mother of them,” Sunwoo scoffed.

Your heart thundering really fast, he wanted kids with you. “Do you really think he’s father worthy? not that it matters, he’ll leave this weekend and leave Y/N and Changbin be because he’s maturing, I suggest you catch up and do the same,” Eric said to his hyung. “Yes he’s brilliant with kids how can you say that about him, one day he’ll make a good father. But mark my words that’s where him and Y/N will end up, because dumping Lulu leads him to Y/N,” Sunwoo said confidently as if he saw a side that no one else did. “Your wrong hyung,” Eric snorted as he walked away.

You rested your head against the bathroom wall. Sunwoo had painted his love for you being the most powerful thing, he had imagined children but only with you. Had you made a mistake? If he knew that it was you pregnant and not Haknyeons friend would his response been different? Had you deprived your daughter of her dad to find out that actually the family you dreamed about could have happened. Closing your eyes Changbin and Christopher flashes in your mind. They had been perfect and amazing and had such a strong loving role with her, but Juyeon was her blood, her dna.

“You ok?” Ryujin asked slipping into the restroom. “Yes just,” , “The Juyeon and Lulu situation,” she smiled cutting you off. “Sorry, I hate it’s over shadowing your day,” you said with sorrowful eyes. “It’s ok it’s been quite interesting actually,” she smiled as she slipped to the cubical. “What do you mean?” you asked into the room. “Well at first, I always thought he was an ass who could never change, but you know I saw a side to him today that I think is him changing,” she said almost in admiration. “Lee Juyeon change, you have high hopes don’t you,” you stifled a laugh as she emerged to walk to wash her hands. “Y/N I heard what happened, why you have every reason to hate him. I’ve seen the many girls he hurt when he would visit,” she paused looking through the mirror to walk to the other side of the room.

“But I believe deep down he loves you and has never let you go,” she said turning to face your way. “Minho use to say you was his ideal family unit and without you he never wanted a future. He believes that’s why he put up with Lulu, deep down he hates her for making him lose you,” she finished smiling her usual angelic features. “So why change now when I’m with someone else,” you asked intrigued. “Only Juyeon can answer that, but me, my belief is he can see how your happy, how the dream is just that, a dream. I think he’s finally ready for reality and will clasp his own true love. But deep down he knows that can never be with a woman who he blames took you from him. Because like you know, he likes to not take his own responsibility,” she added smiling, pressing her hand on your shoulder. “So yes it did slightly overshadow this weekend, but we both know that come tomorrow it will be as peaceful as ever and will go beautifully,” she smiled warmly.

You was sat peacefully on the bench outside the hotel with Ryujin when Juyeon pulled up, his face red from clearly sobbing. You was startled when Elle stormed towards him face full of thunder as she slapped him. It was like he was defeated and expected it. Closing his eyes as he slowly opened it to view the angry friend of who you presumed was now his ex.

“Your scum Lee Juyeon, a dirty piece of scum,” she seethed as she continued with her tirade of abuse his way as he stood there dishevelled and defeated. “You better take me to her,” she said turning to Eric. “Hello wedding,” He replied pointing at Ryujin, his eyes widened with slight annoyance. “I don’t give a fuck this is my best friend, no offence,” she said between Eric and Ryujin. “None taken,” Ryujin replied with her usual smile as Eric relently followed.

He refused eye contact with you as you past which filled you with the sudden desire to hold him tight. Seeing him so lost, hurt you more then you liked to admit.

“It was worth the years waiting to see that face, he’s had this totally coming,” Sangyeon smirked pleased with witnessing Juyeon’s pain. “It definitely sounds like he’s finally got his Karma,” Christopher added. “Oh yes he’s more dirty then a dirty dog,” he smiled into his whisky. You couldn’t explain it but you was pissed at Sangyeon’s mocking of Juyeon’s situation.

“For someone that’s married you are not half enjoying yourself for something in the past,” you spat out as they all looked at you with widened eyes. “You telling me that you didn’t enjoy that, after what they did to us,” Sangyeon asked looking at you with eyes he expected you would agree with. “No not one bit, he may have deserved it, but he didn’t deserve the public humiliation,” you said looking at him sternly. “Public humiliation, they fucked for the whole world to see,” Sangyeon scoffed. “Yes the tape you uploaded,” you growled being fed up with the whole topic. “Ok maybe timeout,” Christopher said with a nervous laughter. “I’m tired I need a lay down,” you scoffed getting off your seat as Sangyeon watched in silence.

“Y/N, hold up,” Changbin said wrapping his hands warmly around you smiling at you, which you mirrored. You remained in silence till you reached your hotel room as he pulled you in pressing kisses to your crown. “I’m worried you don’t seem ok?” He asked looking down at you. “It just wasn’t a good feeling seeing his pain,” you said pursing your lips. “Your still in love with him aren’t you?” He asked with pain in his eyes. “No, no just I feel for him, you know pity,” you replied. “Y/N I’m not asking as Jubin’s father, or your fiancée, I’m now asking as a friend,” he said not believing you. “I promise you I’m not in love with him,” you smiled pressing up to kiss him on the lips. “Just promise me, that if your feelings for him changes, your tell me. Because I know deep down him and Jubin was your dream family,” Changbin said with pain. “Changbin you, Christopher and Jubin are my dream family,” you said holding him tight letting yourself engulf in his comfort.

“However, can you let me do something?” You asked watching panic fill his face when you glimpsed up. “I don’t like the sound of it already, he chuckled slightly. “Ryujin said he might need guidance with his best man speech,” you paused as his features slightly relaxed. “Can I go to his room and help him. It also gives me a chance to check he’s ok,” you asked as he closed his eyes. “We can do it together if you promise to play nice,” you suggest as he opens his eyes to smile down at you. “No I trust you, plus I’m sure Christopher can entertain me,” he smirked breathing in deeply.

Watching Juyeon’s surprised face was amusing when he found you stood there with a bottle of wine and two glasses in your hand. “Thought you could do with cheering up,” you smiled as you walked into the room that was silent. “That and Ryujin was worried about your speech,” you confessed chuckling. “Thanks I’d appreciate that but won’t Changbin mind?” He asked. “No he’s cool about it,” you smiled as you perched yourself on his bed. You looked around the room, before taking his eyes into your view once more as he looked deep in thought.

“I heard about Lulu,” you said watching him purse his lips. “Bet you think how evil I am?” He asked looking Ashamed yet also depressed looking. “No I think that your growing up, I heard what you said to Eric, how you didn’t want to hurt her anymore when you didn’t love her,” you said. “How did you hear that?” He asked. “I heard Eric tell Sunwoo, I see things haven’t changed between those two gossiping,” you asked. “Sunwoo thought it was because of me but Eric reassured him it wasn’t, is that true?” You asked a little anxious for his reply. “Y/N if your asking me do I love you still, then sorry yes I do. But if your asking do I want you then no I don’t, I’ve hurt you too many times already. As you said once there’s cheating there’s no coming back,” he said his eyes focused on you. You could see the pain in his eyes, the love he clearly held for you still.

Your memories flashing in your mind. The happier times with you both, to know he still felt something like you use to share, built a warmth in your core. In a sharp second you pictured what you knew you shouldn’t.

His face of beaming happiness telling him you were pregnant. Holding your hand pressing kisses to your forehead as you delivered him his daughter. The way he would dote on his child, the very child that existed outside the memories you had faked in your mind. Silence filled the air as you leaned towards him like you couldn’t stop yourself. Your lips just inches from his, you wanted to kiss him so badly and have that tongue on yours.

But he placed his hand on your shoulder to keep you distanced from him, with fear in his eyes that stung. “Y/N don’t, don’t be me, don’t do this to Changbin, he’s a good man,” he said looking to the floor. Your heart breaking not just because he had rejected you, but because you was reminded of Changbin & Christopher. There pain hitting you that they would feel, especially after Changbin trusted you here.

Deep down however, despite knowing he was in love with you you were surprised at his restraint. “I was trying to remove the fluff in your hair,” you lied finding a piece randomly there. Feeling guilty for your lies you reached for it to show him struggling to hide your blush. “But it’s good to see you putting someone else’s feelings before your own, nice to see a grown up Juyeon, it suits you,” you smirked impressed. “Thanks, I think,” Juyeon smiled back.

You spent the evening discussing yours and Changbin’s relationship fitting to the story that you told most people, missing Jubin’s existence. Juyeon mentioned about his own, hearing his admission to his own negative behaviour. You got lost between the giggles, catch up and drinking of the wine that you brought. You found yourself looking at him like you once did the first time you drank with him. When you realised how you liked him when he showed his non-Playboy side. You were only reminded of the life you did have now when the door knocked.

You knew instantly it was Changbin and the guilt attacked as you moved to the table, pen in hand helping to finish his speech.

“Is she still here?,” he asked as your heart thundered feeling guilty as if you had done something wrong. “Thank you for letting her help me I appreciate it,” you heard him say as you dashed to finish the speech. “Please look after her, she’s special, no one should hurt her like I did,” you heard him admit, that made your heart ping in emotions you couldn’t explain.

He was in love with you, avoided your advances and now was begging one of the guys who had done nothing but look after you to take care of you. “I promise,” Changbin said walking up to kiss your crown. You looked up to the face of pure love for you in his eyes and despite the shame of letting your feelings open for Juyeon. You couldn’t help but be lost in his eyes. You could do this for Changbin, hold on till the wedding. Out of sight out of mind you had to try.

“So how was it?” Changbin asked on his way to the hotel room. “I think he’s realised that the way he behaves isn’t acceptable anymore,” you smiled. “What does that mean for you, for us?” He asked not completely too sure of the emotions you must have not managed to hold tight. “What’s it to do with us?” you asked looking at him as he didn’t know how to take your comment. “No feelings?” He asked almost pleadingly that filled you with guilt. “Pity and I suppose respect for trying to change his ways, that’s really it,” you smiled plastering a smile that you knew didn’t fit.

To be honest you didn’t know how you felt about it. But you knew if Juyeon’s fuck boy mentality was slightly there, you would have fucked him and ruined everything that you had built the last five years.

--------------------🔺------------------

The wedding had gone amazing. Minho and Ryujin looked seriously loved up. You spent most the time clinging to Changbin but your eyes often wandering towards Juyeon. You smiled at the way Juyeon looked, he seemed care free and being amusing to his friends, sometimes with your help. Even Elle laughed at one of his jokes, sternly changing her expression when his eyes fixed with hers. You suspected deep down there was more emotion there. But you didn’t care to even contemplate because you had your own family. Dancing with Changbin most the night had been fun, Christopher sliding in a few times while you were all changing partners making it look so innocent.

“Your beautiful you know that right?” Christopher complimented smiling heavenly your way. “Why didn’t you tell me Jubin was poorly?” he said smiling despite the tone in his voice laced with pain. “I didn’t want to worry you,” you breathed in deeply. “She’s my daughter too I’m entitled to worry,” he said looking hurt. “I’m sorry, i was just,” , “busy with her real father,” Christopher added clearing having held his annoyance all day. “No Christopher no, that’s not what it is,” you said looking into his lost eyes. “I swear I didn’t want you to worry I thought it was my time to be the strong one, she’s ok it’s just a cold,” you tried to reassure him, but his eyes was breaking like he was seeing through you.

“Y/N the way you two look at each other that is love, I know it’s the way Changbin looks at me, and you,” he says spinning you to go with the flow of the music. “I,” , “Please don’t promise no more, because I feel it in my bones that there’s a chance you can’t keep it,” Christopher said biting his lip almost in pain. “Just don’t take Jubin away from me and Binnie,” he pleads as his hands slip. You watch him smile behind you as you turn to face Juyeon.

“Can I have this dance?” He asked as you turned to look back at Christopher who was walking away. Split between wanting to fix what ever situation was occurring with you and Christopher but the warmth Juyeon was offering. Shamelessly you chose the latter enjoying the way he felt in your Arms. Even when Changbin stole you back in, he handed you back to him. “I like this,” Juyeon said pulling you in for a slower dance as you rested your head into his chest. His heart beating under your ears reminding you of the many nights you’d lay listening to him sleep. “Like what,” you asked on the hope he would clarify. “Us being like this, despite our own relationships, being friends I suppose,” he said pressing his head towards yours for more warmth. “Well we are friends aren’t we?” You chuckled as he swayed you. “Yes but we have a past, one I’m ashamed at but sadly can’t change. Seeing you loved up with Changbin makes me glad that it worked out well for you,” he choked.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket you suspected it was Christopher who you still couldn’t find in the wedding room, so you left it. You would have to deal with the Christopher melt down tomorrow, their would only be a few hours left. Deep down you didn’t want to be parted from Juyeon yet. “I should pass you back to Changbin I need to see Eric anyway,” he smiled pushing you off him by his arms. His eyes were watery showing that he also was struggling with the upcoming goodbye.

You watched as he left the room, “knew I was right about you,” Sunwoo snarled breaking your attention. “You can’t help yourself ruining his life once more,” he growled as you looked at the anger in his voice. “Sunwoo you need to back the fuck down, me and Juyeon are just friends,” you bit out. “What like you and Christopher are,” he smirks as your face falls. “Or that kid your hiding back home,” he adds as you pale stepping back in fear. How had he worked it out?

Your stomach clenching as you felt your throat almost close up, the phone ringing in your back pocket now just faded as you go numb. “You see I’ve done some digging of my own, how clever am I, and i worked out something fantastic,” he smirked with tethering anger. “Your just the cover,” he gloated pressing into your hearing. “For there relationship and for the daughter that is actually Juyeon’s,” he growls into your ear.

“What the fuck Sunwoo are you on something,” you choke out, your body shaking in fear. Juyeon was in the same building you couldn’t escape even if you wanted to. “The kids mine, so think you need to get your own facts clearer,” Christopher said joining you both, his hands hold you in as you barely can stand. “Of course she is,” he smirks, “but I tell you what if you leave, go, let him be, I won’t tell him. You can live what ever fucked up play girl shit you got going on,” he snarled.

Before you could comment a fist swung, compacting with his jaw knocking him to the floor. Your eyes widened as Changbin growled over him alerting everyone’s attention. “Play your games all you like but hold your nasty disrespecting mouth closed,” Changbin growled as Felix and Hyunjin came to hold him back. You looked at the wedding that seemingly got chaotic as you fought back tears. Minho & Ryujin giving looks in disgust did nothing to help you as Christopher held most of your weight. “Y/N breathe, it’ll be ok,” Christopher reassured you. Sangyeon pulled his brother up looking angry in his view. “When will you stop taking in that man’s wars,” he growled in his youngers face. “When she stops running with Juyeons daughter,” Sunwoo shouted above the music that had been silenced slightly.

You saw everyone’s face look to you, Jacob, Sangyeon, Eric, the horror in their face at your betrayal. Not even Felix and Hyunjin could stop Changbin’s anger as he threw himself at Sunwoo. Jisung, Jeongin and Seungmin dashing to their work colleague to drag him off the battered bruised Sunwoo, who was laughing with amusement at your world ending, despite his battered condition.

Christopher’s grip never leaving as tears fell down your eyes. How long was it before the news reached Juyeon? “We need to go now, leave before he hears,” you spun to Christopher pleading. You both began to leave, Changbin following when Sunwoo continued his tirade.

“What’s up your cover about to break Christopher,” he cursed, “time to hand the stolen child back,” Sunwoo continued as Sangyeon shook him fiercely trying to stop him. Instead of Changbin it was Christopher this time who flew at him, it didn’t matter who got between them he pushed them away. “Changbin please stop him,” you pleaded looking at him when his own face froze at the person standing behind you.

Fearing it was Juyeon you spun to see instead it was Haknyeon. You breathed a sign of relief till you took his worried face. “Where’s Jubin?” You asked, the commotion behind disappearing as Changbin held you tight. “She’s in the car, she’s really not well, she needs a hospital,” Haknyeon said with fear in his eyes. You looked back at Christopher who was still spinning words with Sunwoo, parted by loads of party goers.

“It’s fine you two go, I’ll bring Christopher once he’s calmed,” Jacob said, you looked at him smiling as he smiled his warmly ones at yours. You dashed out the hall, Changbin’s hands laced with yours behind Haknyeon. But you came face to face with the worst scenario ever. By the car was Juyeon just feets away from His own daughter. Has he heard already? Did he know?

“You're a mum?” He gasped. His choice of words told you he didn’t know yet but time was against you. You nodded looking to Kevin who looked really concerned. “She’s got a really bad temperature she needs a hospital,” Juyeon said looking at you with worry. If he didn’t know he was hers, the fact he showed concern warmed your heart. “Thanks mate we appreciate that,” Changbin said clasping him to get him away from the car as you slipped in.

“Hello baby, oh mummy’s missed you so much,” you said kissing her, surprised at the burn to your lips from her hot temperature. “Wow it really is hot,” you said crying to Kevin as Haknyeon slipped behind you. “Was nice meeting you,” Changbin said before stepping into the car. “Is Jubin ok?” He added, his concerned eyes taking yours as Kevin drove in speed. “She’s really hot Binnie,” you cried. “Ring Christopher please,” you said needing the comfort of the one person who usually holds the fort. The fear of Juyeon finding out at any moment disappeared because in that moment your daughter was your biggest concern.

-------------------🔺-------------------

It wasn’t long when Christopher arrived, his eyes red swollen and starting to blacken as you wrapped your arms around him. “Where is she?” He asked struggling with the tears. “She’s with Binnie having tests,” you started sobbing as he held you tight. “It’ll be ok, she’ll be ok, she’s a tough little fighter, just like her dad,” he said as you chuckled into him. “Take it you really beat Sunwoo’s ass,” you sniggered a little glad someone put him in his place.

“Well yeah that too,” he said awkwardly. His words clicking in as you looked at him in fear. “Juyeon did that didn’t he?” You said touching the darkening skin that was forming around the swelling. “He knows now don’t he?” you cried as you felt like you could faint at any moment. Nodding he remained silent as the tears returned, your world was crashing once more.

You didn’t talk about Juyeon, not being able to handle his knowledge in Jubins existence as well as Jubins illness. Your hands brushing your sleeping child’s hair as the words between Christopher and Changbin sounded like echos. She looked so poorly with the drip in her arms, her wearily expressions. Why didn’t you take Hyunjae’s words in? why didn’t you answer the phone that rang while you danced with Juyeon? You had royally fucked up as a mother and would do anything to see her smile and play with her toys once more.

You stood when the doctor entered, Christopher’s arms finding their way back to hold you, forever your strength when he equally was scared. “What’s up Doc?” Changbin said with worried features matching yours and Christopher’s. “Jubin’s got a nasty infection, it’s nothing we can’t cure without antibiotics,” he said as you all breathed in a sign of relief. Droping when you took the doctors still serious face in yours. “What is it?” Changbin pressed.

“Her iron levels are dangerously low,” he said with pure worry. “How? Why? Because just the infection?” Christopher said panicking. “We believe we’ve ruled out anything else causing the iron low levels, it’s just the infection,” he said slightly smiling.

“But,” Changbin added for him to continue. “She needs a blood transfusion, Jubin is AB negative it’s a rare blood group, normally we would be stocked but we’re not,” he added. “That’s fixable then one of us can give her blood,” Changbin said confused at the fuss. “Y/N isn’t AB, Jubin’s birth records shows a different blood group, so only the paternal blood line,” he paused looking at them in fear of there reaction to his next words. “I noted in your notes that you wasn’t the biological fathers,” the doctor said as all your faces fell.

“She needs Juyeon,” Christopher choked looking at you as you look at him in fear once more. “Y/N he knows now, we can’t keep running, he can save her,” Christopher said. “We’re sort it,” you smiled at the doctor nodding. “It needs sorting fast,” he said looking between Changbin & Christopher. “I’m on it,” Christopher said leaving to follow the doctor. “Chris,” you cried, “we’re still a family right?” you pleaded as he smiled your way. “Juyeon could never stop me loving her, but this I can’t fix I wish I could, I hate this but we need him,” Christopher said holding his tears at bay before dashing from the room.

Changbin silently stroking Jubin’s hair pressing kisses to her crown, Incase Juyeon’s appearance would make him less her dad to her. “Say something,” you said looking at him tears falling. “What do you want me to say, Christopher’s right we can play dad all we want, but we don’t have the same blood to save her,” he said tears slipping from his eyes. “That doesn’t make you less then her dad, you’ve given her love, your heart, that sometimes counts for way much more,” you smiled at him as he sniffled. “Even if I have to stop being her father, I’m glad for every second I was one,” he smiled.

“Well it’s good I’m not asking you to step down,” Juyeon said startling you as he stood next to Christopher. “How? that was Quick?,” you questioned. “Do you think I would have let you run that fast from me again without answers?,” he smiles. “I was doing a hospital sweep, Christopher found me in reception,” He smiled but looks slightly worn with emotions. “But there’s time to talk later, let’s save this beautiful princess’s life,” he smiled. “Lets find this doctor,” he added.

“Where do we go from here?” You asked Juyeon who was stood in the corner of the room as you watched your sleeping daughter start her treatment. Juyeon’s blood filling her with the iron she needed to get better alongside the antibiotics. “I will be what ever and who ever you need me to be. But answer me this, was you the friend Haknyeon was speaking about years back?” He asked as you nodded. “Oh Y/N I know what I said to him wasn’t nice, but if I thought that was you I would have been there in a heartbeat. That word that made you continue to run wouldn’t have been said,” he explained. “Even in my most immature moment,” he added as your eyes took to Jubin. “Kevin said Changbin & Christopher dote on her in a way I could never match,” Juyeon said as you nodded. “They’ve been amazing they love her with there everything,” you explained as he closed his eyes tight.

Bang Ju Bin sounds perfect for a child with three dads,” he smiled. “But in the real world it’s confusing as it is so how about I stay as an uncle,” he suggested. “A better one then those three muppets out there,” he scoffed. “If your talking about Hyunjae, Kevin and Haknyeon they’ve been my rock too, I can’t thank them enough,” you said sternly as he put his ego back in a box.

“Can we come in?” Christopher asked slightly opening the door from there drink run. “She’s your daughter, you don’t need to ask my permission, I’m just her crazy dysfunctional uncle,” he smiled their way as they tilted their heads. “Three men and a little lady, I think that’s our new title,” Juyeon smirked as Jubin stirred.

“I better go before she wakes, for now I’m a stranger, but when she’s home let me know, I’ll come over. But I’m not taking her from you, I promise,” Juyeon said pressing his hand to their shoulders. “Thanks,” Christopher choked out, tears slipping down his face.

“Daddy,” Jubin croaked out as Changbin dashed to her side holding her hand tightly, Christopher following. “Have you got some sweets?” She cried out weakly as you giggled looking at Christopher. “Oh go on, just this once go be the bad dad sugaring our daughter up,” Christopher said rolling his eyes to Changbin. Your eyes fell on Juyeon still hovering at the door, he smiled nodding before leaving, tears slipping down his face.

You knew what ever the future held it was going to be equally chaotic. Especially watching Juyeon learn to be a dad, hidden beneath the uncle shawl he clearly wanted to wear.

But worse you knew you was in major risk of falling in love with him again. You struggled this whole weekend, you knew having him forever in your life was going to be your downfall.

Your promises falling one by one at the two men who had saved you, even willingly stepping aside for Juyeon to save the girl they cherished so much. But though you knew your relationship was secondary to there’s, you knew that your own with them both was equally strong.

Maybe you needed to grow up too and start being honest with yourself.

Part four Player and the three dads.

Master list

[lingshanhermit]

Lingshan Hermit：The Vulgar Who Think Themselves Transcendent

In the last few days of June 2022, I saw a video on my phone. In it, a white American dad was trying to have a talk about sex with his son who was about to go out on a date. He felt that since his son was close to becoming an adult and going out on dates, this knowledge might be necessary. The discussion shocked the father when he realized his 10-year-old son knew far more about this topic than him. The boy used many new terms the father's generation had never heard of, such as "transgender," "intersex," and "gender equality." When they talked about sexual orientation, the boy said he had not determined his yet - because he was still underage.

Most people enslaved by modern education would think this boy was amazing for grasping so many new terms. But I don't see it that way - just as I never saw being able to speak many languages as praiseworthy. I only feel sad. To me, a child like this is no different from the North Korean children with tears in their eyes looking at the Kim Jong-un portrait. He was born in America, grew up watching Marvel movies and eating fries, so it's not surprising he has the most popular American values. But what does this demonstrate? It shows he has no real independent thinking. He wholly accepts everything the media has indoctrinated him with. This is another form of brainwashing - American style, Hollywood style. If he had been born in North Korea, I'm certain he would have grown up to be a Kim dynasty enthusiast.

I have always believed the most vulgar people are those who think they possess the most popular ideas. When your thoughts align with most people in this society, that is the vulgar. By most people, I don't just mean delivery riders, truck drivers, or supermarket cashiers. I mean university professors, film directors, intellectuals, and those social media figures you find so intelligent and reasonable, with millions of followers. They are the most misleading among the crowd. The education you received makes it easy for you to accept their ideas. Most of the time, your thinking is perfectly aligned with theirs. So when you saw the U.S. Supreme Court rule to overturn women's abortion rights on June 25, 2022, you were as indignant as them. This is the state of most modern elites. They think they have received the best education and hold the most progressive ideas, believing they have transcended the masses. But to me, this could mean they are more hopeless than ordinary people, bound by thicker ropes than those they look down upon, actually living in an even bigger and more intricate web of lies.

This is a vulgar that thinks itself transcendent. But it is still the vulgar. It is harder to detect than ordinary vulgarity and not easily changed. Many who fall into this pit never come out. Because this is now the most difficult to detect vulgar that has enslaved most elites.

Written by Lingshan Hermit on June 27, 2022. First published on July 1, 2022.

Copyright Notice：All copyrights of Ling Shan Hermit's articles in Simplified and Traditional Chinese, English, and other languages belong to the natural person who owns "Ling Shan Hermit". Please respect copyright. Publishers, media, or individuals (including but not limited to internet media, websites, personal spaces, Weibo, WeChat public accounts, print media) must obtain authorization from Ling Shan Hermit before use. No modifications to the articles are allowed (including: author's name, title, main text content, and punctuation marks). We reserve all legal rights.

灵山居士：自认脱俗的俗

[crystal-charlotte-lynch]

Trying my hand at Willam S. Burroughs cut-out technique

Joseph Derito, an 81-year-old retired baker in Elmyra,Overall, about half the

New York, sees immigration

country - 49% - say democracy is not working traveled to Ukraine with

policy as not representing well in the United States, his wife, Kim Keon Hee,

the views of most following trips to Lithu-

icans. "The government compared with 10% who ania for a NATO summit say it's working very or and to Poland. It's his first

today is all for the people

extremely well and 40% visit since Russia invaded who have nothing - a lot of

only somewhat well. About Ukraine in February 2022.

them are capable of working half also say each of the Yoon toured Bucha and but get help," said Derito, a political parties is doing a Irpin, two small cities near white political independent bad job of upholding democ- Kyiv where bodies of civil-who leans Republican and voted for Trump. "They just racy, including 47% who say ians were found in the that about Democrats and want to give these people

streets and mass graves after

even more - 56% - about Russian troops retreated everything"Republicans.

Sandra Wyatt, a 68-year- "I don't think either of year.from the capital region last

old retired data collec- them is doing a good job just South Korea, a key U.S.

tion worker and Democrat because of the state of the ally in Asia, joined inter-

in Cincinnati, blames economy - inflation is kill- national sanctions against

Trump for what she sees ing us," said Michael Brown, Russia and has provided as an erosion in democ- 45, a worker's compensation Ukraine with humanitar-racy. "When he got in there,WASHINGTON - Only ian and financial support it was like, man, you're about 1 in 10 U.S. adults to Ukraine. But the Asian trying to take us back to give high ratings to the way nation, a growing arms the day, before all the rights democracy is working in the exporter, hasn't provided and privileges everybody United States or how well it weapons to Ukraine in line fought for," said Wyatt, who represents the interests of with its longstanding policy is Black, adding that she's most Americans, according of not supplying arms to voted previously for Repub- to a new poll from Associ- countries actively engaged licans as well.ated Press-NORC Center in conflict. She sees those bad dy. for Public Affairs Research.

During a joint news Majorities of adults say conference with Ukrainian

prime minister took a fresh U.s. laws and policies do turn Saturday as the candi-

President Volodymyr Zelen-

a poor job of representing skyy, Yoon announced date who led his party to what most Americans want plans to expand support first place in May's general on issues ranging from the dozen years. The case election said he is open to economy and government endured through five police bowing out of contention spending to gun policy, commissioners, more than if he cannot win a second I immigration and abortion. 1,000 tips, countless theo-round of voting in Parlia- The poll shows 53% say ries and supposed conspira-

ment. Congress is doing a bad job zies. Then a fresh review last Pita Limjaroenrat, 42, of upholding democratic year tied an old clue, about the leader of the progres- values, compared with just a pickup truck linked to a sive Move Forward Party, 16% who say it's doing a victim's disappearance, to said he would be willing to good job.

a new name: Rex A. Heuer- let a coalition partner party 'Lawmakers failed to mann.

field its candidate. However, confirm Pita as prime minis- Energized by the truck

he indicated the political ter Thursday despite his sidbit, investigators charted battling could continue for party's surprising victory the calls and travels of

weeks. in the May polls, when it multiple cellphones, picked The findings illustrate garnered 151 seats in the part email aliases, delved widespread political alienation as a polarized country

500-member House of into search histories and Representatives. It then collected discarded bottles

limps out of the pandemic assembled an eight-party and into a recovery haunted

- and even a pizza crust I

coalition that together holds or advanced DNA testing, by inflation and fears of a

312 seats, a clear majority in cording to court papers. recession. In interviews, the lower house, giving it the respondents worried less On Friday, Heuermann, 59,

bout the machinery of right to nominate a prime was charged with murder in

minister. democracy - voting laws

A second round of voting

and the tabulation of ballots is expected Wednesday.

- and more about the outputs.

[motownfiction]

corrupted

cw: body-shaming bullies

After the rumor of her pregnancy begins to leak throughout the school, one of Lucy’s favorite pastimes is to listen to the way different people whisper about it.

Kim Campbell and her friends act like it’s such a shock. Not like Lucy is a goody two-shoes or anything, they say, but because they can’t believe anybody would have sex with her. Gina Lumetta claps her hands together like a seal, and Lucy can only assume she’s trying to mimic a whale. She turns her head and rolls her eyes. Amazing how people will castigate a woman who dares have a dress size in the double digits. Forget the turning away from Catholic teachings. The girls at St. Catherine’s only care about how much fabric you wear around your body (and what the fabric is made out of).

Nick Crosby is thrilled. He hasn’t been happy since last Christmas, but now that something shitty might be happening to Lucy Callaghan, he’s over the fucking moon. In study hall one morning, Lucy hears Crosby whispering to a few of his acquaintances about how this almost assuredly means Lucy will have to drop out of St. Catherine’s, and he’ll move from salutatorian to valedictorian. Lucy walks by his table and gives him a glare. He’s not getting rid of her that easily. Nobody is. If Lucy has to give birth in the middle of the school hallway, she’ll do it, so long as it pisses off Nick Crosby. She’s not sure which force motivates her more, love or spite, but at this moment, spite is the clear winner.

The teachers, by far, are the worst. Her freshman algebra teacher, Mrs. Balcerak, talks a big game about how Lucy Callaghan will get an abortion just to make a political statement. She says those words in a scandalized hush-hush voice, which would make Lucy laugh if she wasn’t so mad about it. It’s 1983. Who cares what she does, even if they are in a Catholic school? The way Mrs. Gennaro, Lucy’s sophomore biology teacher, responds is even funnier. She says she should have known Lucy was corrupted when she saw her carrying around one of those V.C. Andrews books. Lucy has to laugh at that, even though she’s pretty sure the teachers can hear. First of all, she wasn’t even reading Flowers in the Attic for fun. She was writing a research paper for her Honors English class about pulp as a medium versus a pulp as a genre. Second of all, do they think Will is her brother? Or are they confusing Lucy and Will for Sadie and Sam? In which case, what do these teachers think about their students on their off time? Lucy shudders just picturing what a parochial schoolteacher’s imagination must look like. What a place. Really makes you understand the term barren wasteland in a whole new way.

But Lucy thinks about how Mrs. Gennaro described her. Corrupted, she said. Corrupted. At first, she’s not sure why that’s the one that stings the most. Corrupted. It’s not like it’s a new word. It’s not even the first time someone’s used it to describe Lucy. Corrupted.

And then, in the middle of dinner, it strikes her.

When you’re corrupted, you didn’t do anything. You just sat there while somebody else gets all the credit. You’re passive while somebody else is active. You do nothing. Somebody else does it all.

Lucy can’t have that.

She is not corrupted.

She is something else. She is something that moves. She is something that makes a choice.

(part of @nosebleedclub february challenge -- day iv!)